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snelbz · 2 years

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Every Other Weekend {1}

Summary: Rowan was just looking for a night of fun after his divorce. Aelin was looking for one last reckless moment before selling her soul to her everyday grind of 9-5. Neither had any idea of just how much one night could change somebody’s life.

Warnings: Mature content throughout. Language, sex, drinking, etc. Explicitly NSFW will be labelled at the beginning of chapters containing NSFW content.

A collab with @theladyofdeath

Rowan slammed the door of his car so loudly that he was certain it alarmed the neighbors.

He didn’t care, though.

They weren’t his neighbors.

Forgetting to look behind him, he put his car in reverse and hauled ass out of her driveway, thankfully not hitting anyone or anything as he sped down the road and out of her neighborhood.

He should care for her, even if only a little bit, should have a minuscule ounce of respect for her, but he didn’t. His ex-wife was the worst of the worst and the only good thing that had ever come out of their relationship was just left at the bitch’s house.

Rowan felt sick every time he had to leave his son there, but by law, he had to every other weekend.

And if nothing else, Rowan obeyed the law.

With the exception of now, when he was driving fifteen over the speed limit.

His phone vibrated from where it hung on the dashboard and he slid across the screen, where Lorcan’s name had popped up.

“Where the hell are you?” Lorcan asked, in a way of greeting.

“On my way,” Rowan grumbled. “Had trouble leaving.”

“Well, hurry up,” Lorcan replied, and Rowan knew he’d be asking for all the details as soon as he arrived. “I’m two drinks in. You’ve got catching up to do.”

It had been a day from Hell itself. He’d had two separate clients that just didn’t show up and the third he’d met with gave him a case he was sure he’d lose, but he’d try his hardest to work with what he had. Then at lunch, his ex-wife had decided she was too busy to come pick their son up, as previously agreed, and now he had to drop him off.

That would have been fine, if he hadn’t already had plans.

That would have been fine, if he hadn’t known she was going to fuck with him in any way she could.

That would have been fine, if her piece of shit boyfriend hadn’t been there to try and start a fight.

It took everything in Rowan to leave Oliver there, only knowing Maeve, regardless of how she treated him, really did love their son.

So instead, Rowan was hauling ass across town, only to end up at a bar that was two blocks from his office, that he should have been at two hours ago.

When he walked in, he shouldn’t have been surprised to find Fenrys on Lorcan’s other side, hitting on a blonde that was so far out of his league, it was commendable that he was even trying.

“Sorry I’m late,” he muttered, sliding onto the stool by Lorcan.

“Nice of you to show up,” he said, throwing a glance over at the back of Fenrys' head.

“You know Maeve,” he grumbled, flagging the bartender down for a whiskey neat. “If she’s not busting my balls or ruining my life, what else would she be doing?”

“Running Hell, I’m sure,” Lorcan muttered.

Fenrys looked over then and, for the first time, realized that Rowan had arrived. He gave his friend a lopsided grin and nodded towards the blonde. “This is Asterin.” The glaze in Fenrys’ eyes told Rowan that his friend had far more to drink than Lorcan did at this point, which is probably why Fenrys would end up making a fool of himself with such a beautiful, poised woman.

It wasn’t that Fenrys was unattractive. Actually, he was known to be the most attractive of their group of friends. However, he was a sloppy drunk which tended to turn most women off.

Rowan mustered his best smile at Asterin before thanking the bartender for his drink and taking a giant gulp.

Lorcan watched Rowan do so before asking, “It’s going to be a night of sleeping in your office so you don’t have to drive home drunk, isn’t it?”

Rowan snorted but didn’t correct him. He wasn’t sure yet.

“So tell me all about it,” Lorcan said, waving for a new drink. “What has the Grand Bitch of Orynth done this time?”

Rowan took another drink before sighing. “I don’t know. She just pisses me off. She already made me mad by changing the schedule, then I get there and that dickwad of a boyfriend of hers is there and telling me how I was late. He literally told me that I was dropping my son off late when I wasn’t even supposed to be dropping him off in the first place. So, naturally, I told him to mind his own fucking business, and do you know what he said to that? You don’t order me around in my own house.” A humorless laugh escaped him. “Apparently, he moved in with Maeve, so now that prick is going to be around my son every other weekend, too. I about kicked his ass. If Maeve hadn’t thrown me out, I would have.”

“And what did Oliver have to say about your little encounter with his new step-daddy?” Lorcan asked.

Rowan shot him an exasperated look before rubbing his temples. “I’d already told him bye. He was upstairs in his room, unpacking his bag.”

Because Maeve didn’t have any clothes for him. Rowan always packed a bag, and he always got a bag full of wadded up, dirty clothes back.

It wasn’t that Maeve couldn’t afford clothes, but in her words, If he’s only here four days a month, what’s the point? You make plenty of money.

Rowan didn’t fight it. At least he knew he would have what he needed if he always packed Oliver’s bag himself.

After a moment, Lorcan asked, “You know what you need?”

“An ex-wife that’s not a piece of shit?” he mumbled.

“No,” Lorcan said, clapping Rowan on the back. “That’s just wishful thinking. Pointless. You need to get laid.”

Rowan drained his glass and asked for another before saying, “I think a few drinks will do the trick.”

Lorcan, the bad influence he was, was not known for giving up. “When was the last time you got your dick wet?”

Rowan thanked the bartender for his newly filled glass before saying, “Must you talk so inappropriately while we’re out in public?”

“You talk far worse,” Lorcan noted. “At least, you used to. Now you’re a working father, too classy for us lowlifes.”

Rowan couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a pain in the ass. Remind me why we’re friends.”

“Once you’re friends for twenty years, it makes it a little more difficult to get rid of people,” Lorcan said, and leaned on the bartop with his elbows. “I mean it. It’ll do you a little good, getting out there. Even if it’s nothing serious. Remind yourself what it’s like to have fun, for once. Relieves the stress.”

Rowan considered for a moment, but shook his head. “It would complicate things.”

Lorcan rolled his eyes. “It would do the opposite of complicating things. It would take your mind off of how shitty things are for a while.”

Sighing, Rowan tossed the rest of his drink back. “I’m not the kind for hookups. Look at what happened last time.”

Lorcan looked inclined to agree, but Asterin had apparently gone to the bathroom and Fenrys had finally picked up on what they were talking about.

“The last time you hooked up with someone was when you made Ollie?”

Rowan sighed. “Yes, Fen.”

“Wasn’t that like…” He did a quick tally on his fingers. “Five. He’s five. Max is six.”

“Very observant of you. Glad you know how old your own son is, too,” Lorcan replied, pulling the nearly full beer out from in front of him when he wasn’t looking. He slid it down until it was in front of Rowan.

“You didn’t hook up with anyone after?” He persisted, ignoring Lorcan.

“No,” Rowan snapped.

Even Lorcan was surprised. “You haven’t had sex with anyone since your divorce?”

Rowan huffed and drank from Fenrys’ beer bottle, which was now his, thanks to Lorcan. He wouldn’t complain about the free drink. “I’ve been a little busy the past two years, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“But five years without sex?” Fenrys asked, still oblivious that he was missing a drink. “Two years,” Rowan corrected. “Me and Maeve may have hated one another, but fucking was the only thing we did right in our marriage.”

The rough, sadistic coupling Maeve liked could only be called fucking, Rowan had never made love to her once in their sham of marriage. He hated it, hated that he had to treat her like shit for her to get off, that she wanted to treat him the same way.

Lorcan whistled. “Still. Two years, no sex? No wonder you’re always acting like you’ve got a stick shoved up your ass.”

“I came here to wind down and you two are stressing me out,” Rowan mumbled, and downed the rest of the beer before asking for another whiskey. “I don’t need sex. I’m fine.”

“Tell that to your hand,” Lorcan muttered. “I’m sure it’s raw and tired by now.”

Fenrys grinned but then Asterin was back and he was back to obnoxiously flirting in that drunken way of his. It seemed she was a fan of it if the smiles she gave him were any indication.

Rowan shoved Lorcan so hard that he nearly fell off his barstool.

The bastard was grinning. “Surely you’ve missed it.”

Rowan didn’t respond. Of course, he missed it. He was a man, he was human. There were very few things more thrilling than being so intimate with another person, and it had been a long, long time. In college, he’d had his fair share of women after he’d lost Lyria, but that ended when he got Maeve pregnant. Two months later, they were at the courthouse signing their marriage certificate, and seven months after that, they were bringing Oliver into the world.

“Come on,” Lorcan pushed, and turned towards the room, leaning back against the bar. “What about…her?”

Just to humor him, Rowan followed Lorcan’s line of sight and found a beautiful, red-headed woman on the dance floor. She was beautiful, but Rowan just shook his head. “She’s so drunk her boobs are about to come out of her dress.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lorcan said, before continuing to scan the horizon. He paused and pointed to a girl who’s dark skin was shining under the neon lights at the bar. “Her?”

Rowan sighed and said, “She looks like she’s seventeen, I’m not even sure she’s old enough to be in here.” He continued to look around the bar, his eyes skimming over each person, even if he had no intention of taking any of them home tonight.

“You have to be twenty-one to even get in,” Lorcan defended, but apparently had given up on his hunt for Rowan’s next hookup. He turned and got each of them a new drink, setting Rowan’s in front of him. He gave a dramatic sigh and said, in a voice dripping with sarcasm, “Fine, go home by yourself and continue to be miserable, I guess. Don’t say I didn’t try to help you.”

He smirked and threw a glance to his oldest friend, but he found Rowan staring across the bar, at a group of people sitting around the high top tables, laughing and having a great time.

Rowan said nothing, he didn’t even indicate he’d heard Lorcan speak.

He scooted the glass over a bit more and said, “Here you go, man.”

Rowan was still focused on the table

across the room.

“Ro?” Lorcan tried again, giving him a little nudge.

Blinking, Rowan turned towards his friends. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Lorcan followed where his gaze had been across the room and scoped out the group. “Which one caught your eye? The brunette?”

“No,” he answered. Then added, “None of them. I was just looking around.”

Lorcan studied them more and said, “It was the blonde, wasn’t it?”

Rowan said nothing, just sipped from his glass.

With a look over at Rowan, Lorcan pulled out his wallet and flagged down the bartender again. “See that blonde by the dart boards? He’s buying her another drink. Whatever she’s having.”

He handed cash to the bartender, who smirked, having heard quite a bit of their conversation, before going to fulfill Lorcan’s request.

“Fuck you,” Rowan scoffed, nearly shoving Lorcan off his stool again.

Lorcan drank from his glass and said, “You’re welcome.”

Sighing, Rowan turned to glance back over his shoulder at the table he’d been watching before.

He found a pair of eyes on him, just as they had been from across the bar when he’d been looking before. The bartender appeared then, setting a glass in front of her, and murmured something in the girl’s ear. Rowan watched as the smile on her lips bloomed into a full blown grin.

Her eyes found his again. He knew he should have turned around and pretended Lorcan bought her the drink - which he technically had - but there was something that captivated him from across the room.

Fuck it, he decided. If Lorcan thought he needed to get laid so bad, maybe he would. Lorcan may have been right.

Instead of doing the smart thing, instead of finishing his drink and heading home, Rowan grabbed his whiskey, sipping it, and turned around so he was facing the room, rather than the bar.

Except she was gone.

He tried to pretend not to react to that little fact, but at his confusion, Lorcan was chuckling and nudging Rowan in the ribs.

His head jerked right and there she was, walking towards him. Her drink was in her hand and she was sipping from it lazily.

Her face had been beautiful, of course. It was what caught his eye in the first place, her beauty, but the dress she wore definitely complimented every inch of her tall, lean body.

He remembered how to act like a normal human being, barely, as she approached him.

“Hey,” he said, as Lorcan slowly turned away to mind his own business.

“Hey,” she said, her voice cool. She raised her glass. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he said, attempting to lounge against the bar in a smooth, no-stick-up-the-ass kind of way. “Looked like you needed another.”

“I like a man that pays attention,” she agreed. “I’m Aelin.”

“Rowan,” he said, and hated himself for already being so turned on. Two years without sex and she was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She grinned, like she could read every thought that crossed his mind. Inclining her head towards the open stool next to him, she asked, “Is that seat taken?”

“What about your friends?” He asked, and then cursed himself for even caring.

Looking over at them over his shoulder, Aelin shrugged and sat down on the stool next to him. “They’re big kids, I think they can handle themselves,” she said, stirring her drink as she sat it down on the bar in front of them. “Besides, I think I’d rather be over here.”

Aelin smiled and he swore, she was somehow even more beautiful up close.

“I like you over here, too,” Rowan replied, finishing off his whiskey. “I’ve never seen you in here before.”

“And this is your go-to spot?” She asked, looking up at him. He nodded and she explained, “I actually just moved back into the city. My family moved to Adarlan when I was fifteen.”

“You made friends fast,” Rowan replied, looking back at the group she’d left. He resisted the urge to look over at his own friends. All two of them.

Her laughter washed over him and he looked back at her, finding those unique eyes on him. “I kept in touch while I was in Rifthold. Easy to make friends when you already have them.”

“That’s fair.” He found himself wanting to touch her, wanting to put his hands on her. He could only think of one way he could do that without seeming like a creep. “Would you maybe want to dance?”

Aelin glanced at the dance floor before setting her drink down. “Sure.”

He took her hand and swept her onto the floor as the live band played. Typically, he wouldn’t dance at all, but he needed to feel her curves under his hands. Thankfully, dancing with her was easy.

Their bodies moved together to the beat, and at one point her hands fell from his shoulders to his chest. Her palms pressed flat against him had him pulling her closer.

When the first song finished, they continued to the next, and the next, and then Rowan was leaning down and whispering into her ear, “Want to get some fresh air?”

It was not an original line, but it was one that did not leave any room for curiosity about what he was thinking, what he was intending.

Her eyes lit up as she nodded. “I could use some fresh air.”

Her tone was playful, but her steps were quick as she took his hand and they made their way to one of the back doors that went out to the patio.

It was a warm, summer evening in Orynth, and for that reason, the patio was almost as full as the bar itself. Thanks to Rowan’s height, they were able to find an open spot against the railing.

It was cozy, not that Rowan was complaining.

Aelin reached up and tugged on Rowan’s tie. “Full suit and tie. So fancy. What do you do for fun?”

Rowan opened his mouth to answer but paused. He had been positive she was going to ask what he did for a living and he was about to attempt to make being a lawyer far more exciting than it actually was. The question drew him up short

“Well?” She asked, and tugged on his tie again.

“I…” Rowan was struck with hesitation as he realized he didn’t know what he did for fun. Any and all of his free time went to Oliver, not that he didn’t love it.

Oliver was the best thing that had ever happened to him, regardless of being tied to Maeve for the rest of his life.

“I read,” he said, at last, and scratched his chin. “I hang out with my friends. I don’t know,” he laughed. “What do you do for fun?”

She took a moment to think about it as she watched him, that light in her eyes remaining. “I also hang out with my friends and read,” she said, then added, “I love to read, actually. I hang out with my dog. She’s pretty great. In the summers, I travel a lot. I teach, though, so that takes up most of my time between August and May.”

“Fair enough,” Rowan said. “Teaching, that’s a good profession.”

Aelin nodded. “What do you do, suit and tie?”

Rowan snorted. “Lawyer.”

“A lawyer?” Aelin repeated. “Wow. Impressive.”

Rowan shrugged, knowing full well how impressive it was. Getting his degree had been a pain in the ass, especially supporting Oliver and Maeve, who’d dropped out of college after getting pregnant. He didn’t want to talk about that, though.

“You’re very beautiful,” Rowan said, and brushed her hair back behind her ear. “I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.”

Aelin rolled her eyes but her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. “Is this what you tell all the girls you want to take home?”

Rowan arched a brow. “And how do you know I want to take you home?”

“Because you made a point to get me away from your friends.” At Rowan’s blank look, she added,

“No one wants their friends to see them get rejected.”

He blinked. “Does that mean you’re rejecting me?”

Grabbing that tie again, she tugged him down until her lips were crashing against his. After a moment of surprise, Rowan stepped closer, his tongue sweeping into her mouth as his arm slipped around her waist. Her hand tightened on his chest and she tasted like sunshine and honey and the first day of summer.

Pulling back, she asked, “Did that feel rejection?”

Rowan was breathless. “Not at all.”

“Good,” she crooned and took a few steps towards the doors that would lead back into the bar. Rowan stood there, staring like an idiot. Glancing back at him, she gestured for him to follow her. He didn’t need to be told twice.

“I need to tell my friends I’m leaving,” she said, as they paused just inside.

He nodded. “I need to close out my tab.”

“I’ll wait for you out front,” she promised, and grabbed his face, bringing his lips to meet hers.

And just like that, she was gone, leaving Rowan wondering if he’d imagined her.

He found his spot still unoccupied at the bar, most likely due to Lorcan’s constant state of brooding.

“Where’s your new friend?” He asked, sucking on a piece of ice from his glass.

“Saying goodbye to her friends,” Rowan replied as nonchalantly as possible, pulling out his card and handing it to the bartender.

Lorcan clapped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s my boy.”

Rowan chuckled but said nothing more as the bartender handed him back his card, he signed his bill, and was out.

He was the first one outside and for a moment, he thought he may have been getting set up. Then, Aelin walked out the door, a clutch in her hand, and she asked Rowan, “My place or yours?”

Rowan nearly stumbled. “I’m on the other side of town. Where do you live?”

“A few blocks down on Maple,” she replied, and grinned at him as she gestured to the car-filled parking lot. “Please tell me you drove, because I rode with my friends.”

Rowan nodded, taking only a moment to remember what he was about to do, where he was. “Yeah, follow me.”

He led her to his car and opened the passenger door before making his way to his own. She slid in effortlessly, making herself right at home adjusting the radio as he got behind the wheel.

“Don’t like my music?” he asked, putting the car into drive.

“It’s not the 1980s,” she replied, shaking her head and chuckling. It was cute as hell. “You’ve got to listen to something a little more modern.”

“Modern music is trash,” he mumbled, but let her change the station, nonetheless.

She gave him directions to her house and as they drove they talked about all the different types of music they liked.

Rowan wouldn’t hear that Metallica sucked, and Aelin stood by her love of both Blink-182 and 5 Seconds of Summer.

“5 Seconds of who?” he asked, as he took a turn onto the street she had ordered him to.

“Summer,” she laughed. “Seriously? How old are you?”

Rowan grinned. “I didn’t think that much older than you, but now I’m getting worried.”

“Well, I’m twenty-five,” she said. “I feel that should be validated before you walk through my front door.”

“Fair,” Rowan said, and she pointed at her house. “I’m only two years older.”

“Good,” Aelin said, and he could feel her eyes on him as he pulled into her driveway and put his car in park.

“Nice place,” he said, killing the engine.

She laughed, quietly. “You haven’t even seen what it looks like on the inside.”

“I’m going to be honest,” he breathed, reaching across the car and sliding his fingers into her hair at the base of her head, pulling her towards him. “I really couldn’t give a fuck what it looks like inside.”

He kissed her and he swore he heard her whimper softly. She pulled away and said, “Well come see anyways,” before winking at him and opening the car door.

He was out of his own in a matter of seconds.

Admittedly, they were in a nice part of town, not far from his office. Most of the houses were older, had been here for years, but were well maintained. Aelin’s was no different. Summer flowers filled the flower beds and climbing ivy was beneath each window of the two story home. The shutters were painted a cheery, bright blue and she had a porch swing our front, but that was all he got to see before she was taking his hand and tugging him up the front steps.

She unlocked the door and he heard nails clicking on hardwood headed for them. She murmured, “Incoming.”

A golden retriever bounded into the entry way from what he assumed was the living room but froze upon seeing him.

“Come here, say hi,” Aelin said, squatting down into the dog’s level. She was immediately hurrying for her owner. She attacked her with kisses and affection and excitement. “This is Fleetfoot,” she laughed, looking up at Rowan.

Rowan welcomed the dog openly. Or, at least he tried to.

He had never been a fan of pets. Not because he didn’t like animals, but because he preferred his personal space and pets didn’t seem to grant anyone personal space.

Nonetheless, he petted Fleetfoot’s head before making his way inside of the house.

“She’s sweet,” Rowan muttered.

“She’s perfect,” Aelin agreed. As she closed the door behind them, she said, “Make yourself at home.”

Rowan wasn’t sure how to do that, but he nodded, nonetheless. Aelin kicked off her heels and tossed her clutch on her counter before turning to Rowan. “Drink?”

“What do you have?” he asked, meandering into the kitchen.

“Wine,” she said. “Vodka.”

“I’ll have what you’re having,” he conceded.

“Vodka it is,” she said, grinning as she took two glasses out of the cabinet by the stove. She filled them each halfway with a vodka, splashing in just enough orange juice to make it palatable, and handed one to Rowan.

Rowan sipped from his glass before saying, “I have to admit that I don’t do this often.”

“Do what?” Aelin asked, although he knew she knew what he was implying.

Rowan just chuckled and shook his head. “This.”

“That’s okay,” Aelin said, quietly. “I don’t, either.”

Rowan nodded and before he knew it Aelin was setting her glass down and walking towards him. “Would you like a tour?”

“Sure,” he said, but she was stopping in front of him and he blinked as he looked down at her.

“So this is the kitchen,” she murmured, leaning up on her tiptoes to brush her lips against his again. It was a whisper of a kiss, but it had Rowan craving more. “And I have a few other rooms that I’m pretty sure you couldn’t care less about. But I also have a bedroom. A couple of them, actually, but I have one that’s a little better than the rest. That one’s mine.”

“I care about that one,” he breathed, his hand finding her ass and squeezing. “I definitely care about that one.”

“Then let’s go,” she replied, tugging on his tie once again. She dropped it and took his hand. He followed obediently behind her, doing his best not to stare at the way the dress she was wearing hugged every curve on her body.

The second they entered her room, Aelin turned towards him and started taking off his tie.

“You sure you want to take that off?” He asked as she pulled it loose and it slipped from his collar. “You’ve been enjoying it so far.”

“Something tells me I’ll enjoy what’s beneath far more,” she grinned, starting with the buttons of his white shirt. As more and more of his skin was exposed, her grin grew.

He’d make sure she enjoyed herself.

“I like your tattoos,” she said, rubbing her fingers along the dark ink on his left pectoral. It snaked up his neck and down his arm.

“Thanks,” he said, although he swore his voice hardly worked as she worked on the buttons of his shirt.

“What do they mean?” she asked, her fingers working smoothly as they undid button after button.

“A lot of things,” he confessed, completely forgetting what each and every one of the marks permanently inked onto his body meant. Didn’t really give a shit either as her lithe fingers danced along the waistband of his pants. His voice was guttural. “Do you have any tattoos?”

“Why don’t you find out?” she asked, quietly, as she pushed the sleeves down his arms and threw his shirt aside.

Once his shirt was tossed in the corner of her room, Aelin took a step back and pulled down the strap of her dress, then the other. Before he knew it, he was looking at Aelin.

All of Aelin.

Her dress was in a pool around her feet and she wore nothing but her bra and panties.

They were gold, and Rowan couldn’t think of anything other than the fact that Aelin looked fantastic in gold.

From what he could tell, she only had one. Something in script on her ribs. He couldn’t tell what it said, but he also didn’t care at that moment.

She motioned for him to come closer to her, which he happily did. “Do you have any more tattoos?” She asked, glancing down at his slacks.

He did, one he was not proud of thanks to a night out with Lorcan in college. He had nearly forgotten about the hawk on his ass until now, when she would surely be seeing it. “Unfortunately, that’s for you to find out, too.”

She arched a brow and laughed quietly, but Rowan’s thumb was brushing against the tattoo on her ribs. Her smile faded and her body shuddered as his hands snaked around to the back of her and released her bra.

She’d barely gotten his belt undone before they were on the bed and he was burying himself deep inside of her.

#snacmc dilf series #rowaelin #every other weekend #rowaelin eow #rowan x aelin #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass #tog #snacmc collabs

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bobohunn · 4 years

Text

The 56th Street

Title : 56th Street

Pair : baekhyun x reader, baekhyun x you

Genre : angst, fluff, one shot

Warnings : language, and mentions of stalking, divorce and non consensual taking of pictures (not between pair)

Word count : 3k

Note : Italicized words are character/reader’s thoughts; indented (blockquote) and italicized paragraphs are flashbacks.

“Are you busy right now?” a husky voice found its way to your ear from the other side of the line.

“No. Thank god,” you mumbled before letting a deep sigh leave your lips.

After ages, you finally heard your favorite sound on earth again.

It was the sound that went a little too high while singing along to Queen and Michael Jackson songs that played on the radio in your room while you did homework at 3 pm. The one that rang loud throughout the whole house while you danced to random and silly steps on the stage that is your bed at 3 am.

It was the same sound that went two octaves lower when you teased him too much about the little crush he seemed to harbor for the girl who sat beside him in 11th grade or when you asked him for one of his friend’s number. One that carried sweet nothings with it to your blushing ears the first time you got drunk on your birthday.

It was the very same sound that was once your refuge and salvation. The very same that calmed the erratic beating of your heart when you were nervous. One that chased your tears to crawl back up and hide in the corners of your round eyes when life enveloped you into darkness.

The voice you’ve been longing for more frequently these days.

Your best friend’s voice.

He chuckled, his low register ringing through your eardrums. “Are you at home?”

“No, but I’m walking home,” you say almost too softly, trying not to sound too excited.

There was a long period of silence. If you didn’t know Baekhyun enough, you would have already ended the call at the lack of response. However, you knew him way too well to see (hear) that he was still thinking about what he would say. So you just continued walking on your path slowly, occasionally looking over your shoulders in case you were blocking somebody’s way.

“You’re walking on that street again, aren’t you?” He hummed before asking in a very knowing tone. It took you a moment to process his question, so when you were about to defend yourself, Baekhyun had already started his nagging, “I told you not to take that street when I’m not with you!”

You smiled a bit at the realization that although you didn’t even answer yet, he already knew the truth. And your smile grew more prominent at the thought that he still knows you better than anyone.

The only person you wanted to remember you still knows you like you were the back of his hand. And you‘re not anywhere near remarkable for anyone— or even just for him at least, to remember you. Isn’t that an achievement for you?

Snorting out a laugh, you said, “Sorry, Baek. It’s the fastest way home.”

No. Actually, it’s the street that reminds me of you most.

It was the quietest street in your town, 56th street, both your favorite route to take. It was the street that held a huge part of your memories together with him and had all the little moments that piled up into ones you’ll treasure forever. The road that witnessed both of you grow from the innocent little boy and girl you once were to the lovely man and woman you both are today.

It’s the street that reminded you of when you first heard him laugh,

“Since we’re neighbors, and I’m new here, can’t you show me around the town?” the little boy said as he lifted his hands to his neck to scratch at the skin right below his jaw, making you stare at them in awe.

You snapped yourself out of your short trance and said blankly, “The only places I know are my house and the school.”

As cliché as it may sound, everything around you moved in slow motion as the side of the boy’s lips rose to his tinted cheeks. His eyes turned upside down, and his eyebrows raised. He laughed lightly before asking, “Then, should we see where this street ends?”

Of when you first saw him pout,

“Baekhyun, no. We have to go home,” you said as you continued on your track without looking back at him. He went silent, and a smirk crept up your face.

However, it grew too suspiciously silent. So you stopped walking and turned your head back, only to find a sulking Baekhyun. His hands were in his pockets, eyebrows knit together, cheeks puffed out, and his lower lip pouty. He slowly looked back up at you with his puppy eyes that always won you over.

“Oh my god, don’t give me that look. You’re making my head hurt.”

He moved closer to you and grabbed one of your hands, “I’ll stay over at yours for dinner so your mom won’t scold you for too long. Just please come with me to the supermarket. I’m really craving ice cream,” he said with his eyes quivering from left to right.

He’s onto something. “What do you have up in your sleeve, Mr. Byun? Tell me, or I’m not going with you,” you said as you narrowed your eyes at him.

He looked away from you and landed his gaze towards the ground again, “Y-you, I heard y-you crying in your room last night. I just want to buy you ice cream to cheer you up because I won’t be able to sleep knowing I hadn’t done anything for you before this day ended.”

When you first heard him curse and get mad,

“Excuse me, Dude. But what are those photos for?” you heard a familiar voice from behind you. Recognizing it as Baekhyun, you quickly looked over your shoulder to greet your friend.

“A-ah i-it’s just for documentation purposes for our group study,” stuttered the other guy whose back was turned to you.

You called out Baekhyun’s name, confused about the current situation laid in front of you. Your friend only raised his head to you and motioned for you to come to him, “do you know this guy?”

You approach the two men, curious as to who the other person is. When you caught a glimpse of the unfamiliar face, you slowly shook your head no. “I don’t think so. Do I have to?”

Baekhyun clicked his tongue and clenched his jaw. He sneered a little and turned his head to the side, making you more confused.

“The next time you make a fucking excuse, make sure it’s not as stupid as you look. Stop being a fucking pervert, you fucking stalking asshole.”

And of when you first heard him cry.

“Oh my god, Baekhyun, what happened?” you said as you brought the taller man’s head to your shoulder. You tried to rub his back and smooth out the creases of his school uniform, but he just started wailing more.

He was leaning into you, and you couldn’t take his weight anymore, so you guided him to sit down on the sidewalk. You tried to pull away from him, but he planted his face deeper into your neck, so you just hugged him tighter and drew unnamed patterns on his arms.

When his sobbing finally toned down, you tugged at his chin and made him look up at you. The redness of his nose, along with the tears in and around his eyes, made your heart hurt. Who on earth would try to make this man cry?

“You’re not telling me what happened?” you whispered as you wiped the tears that continued to drop down his cheeks.

“My mom wants to divorce my dad.”

You heard a small huff from his end, making you chuckle loud enough for him to hear.

You tilted your head to your side and pictured how he would have looked if he were actually walking with you today. Would he have had his hair down or gelled back? Would he have worn the oversized hoodies you told him were your favorite on him? Would he have walked in all his glory on the sidewalk in his new Js? Would he have looked at you with loving eyes, like he did back then?

“Still! Didn’t I tell you that I’d be mad and not call you if you walked there alone? That street is so quiet and far from people. It’s too dangerous!” he whined again.

A bitter taste started to spread in your mouth. You took a deep breath of the crisp air, “Yeah. I know it’s dangerous.”

Dangerously silent and lonely without you.

“Do you remember? That time when I told you to go home without me because I had fun playing football with my classmates?” he paused for you to answer, but he knows that you remember it anyway.

Yeah, when I almost cried, thinking you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore?

He laughed, “I think I hit my head somewhere that time, and I realized that I wanted to walk home with you. So I ran to catch up with you, but then I saw a guy taking pictures of you from the back.” You chuckled a little at how fast his tone changed from happy to angered towards the end.

You added in, “And you cursed him with all your heart, and I had to drag your boiling ass home or else you would have had a swollen hand.”

And when I thought my heart would explode, seeing you all worked up and protective of me.

You stopped walking and recalled how it exactly happened, where you exactly were, and what you exactly felt. While reminiscing, you could almost see the image of your younger self pulling the younger Baekhyun, who couldn’t take his eyes off the stranger who stalked you, pass by in front of your eyes.

“Yup. I decided to walk home with you every day since then. But now that I can’t, I made you promise not to walk 56th street, didn’t I?” Baekhyun said in a sing-song tone.

“Sorry,”

“I’ll let it go this time. But next time I really won’t call you for three months! Or even six months!” He taunted.

Even if I kept my promise and never walked on the same street again, when the time comes, you’d probably stop calling me.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay here. Training is getting hard, though. But I bet you five tubs of ice cream that I’m gonna be on national TV in 3 months!”

I need not bet because I know you’ll make it. It’s your lifelong dream, after all.

“[Y/N]! [Y/N]!” Baekhyun beamed from your porch as he took off his shoes. You watched him with confused eyes from the couch of your father’s living room.

“What?”

He quickly approached you and pulled you up from your seat, “it’s time for us to take a walk. Long since we’ve done it, no?”

You and Baekhyun took your precious time to walk. One whole step before the other, as if scared that the sidewalk would run out if you walk faster.

You didn’t really say anything to each other, but the sound of the spring birds singing and your soles rubbing against the bricks on the sidewalk made you both feel entertained.

With longer legs and bigger feet, Baekhyun was walking slightly ahead of you. Having to catch up with his steps, you walked faster, eager to walk side by side with him. But he noticed that you were trying so hard to keep up with him, so he tried to make his steps smaller. Then, he moved closer to you until your hips touched each other.

It was always like this with Baekhyun. You’d take a walk together on 56th street without saying anything, and you’d still enjoy it. He would always end up walking ahead of you, and you would ever walk behind him. Then, when he notices that he’s walking too fast for you, he would start taking smaller steps so you could keep up with him. And when he thinks he’s walking slow enough to match your pace, he would close the gap between your bodies by putting an arm around your shoulders or waist or just by feeling your sides against his.

“I li-“

“I’m leaving,” Baekhyun started, cutting off what you wanted to say.

“What?” Your voice came out shaky, unsure of what you heard.

Baekhyun stopped walking, “I said I’m leaving. I’m leaving for the city.”

You blinked your eyes twice. Stiff as you were, you tried to open your mouth to say something which you couldn’t seem to remember anymore. Baekhyun giggled at how you looked.

“I’m gonna be an idol, [y/n]. I’m going to be a singer.” he said as his eyes twinkled with joy.

How? Where? When? Why? You wanted to ask him, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to move even a muscle except for your eyes.

“A company scouted me at graduation. They said I had the potential to be a singer. I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure, but now I am.” He said while looking up at the cloudless sky.

You didn’t know how it happened, but you only managed to speak out the words, “I’m happy for you, Baekhyun.”

You didn’t see Baekhyun the week after that walk because he was busy packing, and you were busy denying to yourself that he was leaving. So when you saw him from your window pushing boxes unto the trunk of his parents’ SUV with his hair white as snow, you couldn’t help but jump out from where you were standing.

You accidentally pushed your windowpane in an attempt to save your face from kissing the wooden floor, and it made a noise loud enough for Baekhyun to look up at your room. He waved up at you and motioned for you to meet him outside.

“Are you leaving today?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I wasn’t able to tell you,” Baekhyun said as he scratched the skin under his ear. He always did this when he was in an awkward situation.

You stared at him without speaking. You took in how he looked for the last time. But you realized that it was too much for you. He was too much for you. So you focused on his now white hair that rested against his scalp, seemingly tired from the process of bleaching.

Baekhyun only smiled at you like a child that was offered candies and delight. You moved closer to him, eyes exploring his face and stopping at his lips for a few seconds before losing confidence again.

His name softly left your lips, to which he only hummed in response.

“I,” you paused for a moment, maybe two? or three. You don’t know.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows almost hit his hairline.

“I like your hair.” you said with a smile.

“Don’t I look like a real celebrity now?” he said as he let his fingers run through his locks.

“You do,” he always did.

You let yet another chuckle escape your mouth, although the last thing you wanted to do was laugh. “I’m still your best friend, right?” you questioned, though you were scared he’d say no.

However, you heard a different voice from his end of the call shout, “Baekhyun! 10-minute break is over!” and your friend responded with something you couldn’t catch. All that you knew was that he was laughing with someone, their voices slowly fading as if they were walking away from the phone.

He’s happier now. Even happier than when he was with me.

You used to associate his laugh with flowers, candies, love, and everything sweet. But now you can’t help but feel bitterness crawl up your spine, like a vine climbing its way up the walls and lampposts.

The cold and long blow of the wind made you feel nostalgic (if you weren’t yet), and you wanted as much to let it take you to wherever your heart is, where Baekhyun is.

“I have to go [y/n]! I’ll call you again soon!” he quickly said before a long beep was heard, announcing the end of the call.

Months passed, and you are still waiting for when his name flashes as the caller ID on the screen of your phone. Maybe he’s busy? Or he lost my number? Perhaps he changed his phone?

You wanted to ask his parents for his new number or even just how their son was doing. But you were surprised to find out that they already moved out of the house next to yours, when you returned from your grandparents’ house for a 3-week vacation. You wanted to ask your parents if they had his parents’ number, but then you decided that seeing him on TV and your phone screen was enough for you.

He’s clearly doing well.

He has got to be doing well. How could he not when he has been flashing the cameras the widest and prettiest smiles? The kind of smiles you never witnessed when he was with you.

He’s clearly happier than ever.

Although you kept saying that you were happy for him too, you just can’t deny that you do feel jealous of how far he had come. It was just like the long and silent walks you took with him throughout 56th street before: he was always steps ahead of you, and you were burning in jealousy behind him because of the advances his relatively longer legs brought him. Except that he was miles and dreams ahead of you now, and he couldn’t slow down his pace to match yours and stay by your side anymore.

He’s way too far ahead to turn and run back to me.

He’s probably living a better life.

He probably has funnier (best) friends to laugh with.

He probably has prettier eyes to stare at, softer hands to hold, and more comfortable shoulders to lean on.

He probably has a new favorite street to walk with somebody new. Somebody who’s better, somebody who’s not you.

And you started to accept that little by little.

You had started to move on.

You started to forget.

You finally let go.

But you kept the promise you made him.

You never walked 56th street again,

because he’s not there with you anymore.

—

#baekhyun #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #exo #bobohunn writes #fanfiction #kpop #exo baekhyun #byun baekhyun #bbh #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x you

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 4 years

Text

Crying ‘Cause I Love You

A/N: Hey everyone! I have a lot of school work to do rn so I won’t be able to write for another couple days, but I just posted something with Chris and I wrote this with Henry Cavill a while ago and thought I’d share to hopefully tide everyone over. Thanks for reading and requesting! 💕

Summary: Henry and his girlfriend are getting ready for a night out, and Henry was finally going to tell his girlfriend he loves her, but Kal has other ideas.

“You look beautiful,” Henry beamed at his girlfriend, eyes shining with nothing but pride in them, as he watched her curl her last piece of hair and unplug the wand. She always looked at him like he was her entire world, and this was no different. The stars in her eyes matched the gems in her ears and around her neck, her dress dark blue and perfectly matched to his suit. She was perfect.

“Only the best for my Prince Charming,” she replied sweetly. She wanted to hug him, but she didn’t want to crunch her hair. “Are you ready?”

“Just looking for my cuff links. Would you mind locking up? And re-filling Kal’s bowl?” Henry was starting to take his tie from where he had it hung on his arm, but it was too long. Henry’s beloved Akita nipped at the tie until it was in his mouth, and Henry barely even noticed until he reached for it. Kal was such a shadow, always nudging at Henry’s legs, that it was easier to notice when he wasn’t there.

“Kal! Give Daddy back his tie!” She scolded, reaching for the dog. Instead he wanted to play with it, and promptly turned his head away. “I’ll get him.” She stood on her toes to kiss her boyfriend’s cheek. She then exchanged places with him as he continued searching for his cuff links. The bathroom was wrecked with evidence of her – her makeup, her curling wand, her pins. He took her lip gloss that she left, knowing she would want it and she’d hate herself forever if she didn’t have it. She was staying with him for the wrap party, but had enough things for the whole weekend because somebody needed to drop Kal off at the groomer’s. Henry would look around and just smile. Finally, all of the empty space in his life was full. She was like a puzzle piece, he thought, and he wanted her to stay. That night he had planned to tell her he loved her for the first time. Part of him thought it would be when they were drunk at the party, or on the way home when they were in the back of a car and she would fall asleep on him. Or maybe it would be when she was buried in the corner of his bed. But he was going to tell her, he had to. And that’s what he was thinking about when he heard a smack. It was loud, and unmistakably skin against a hard surface.

“Shit,” he murmured, turning to the stairs. Kal was standing at the bottom of the stairs, tie in his mouth, and his girlfriend was standing there, in the doorway to the living room. “Baby?”

“I’m okay!” She declared with a whimper. Her hand flew to her nose as a single drop of blood made its way onto her skin. Blood. Oh, shit. “Okay, maybe I’m not. Ow.” She was starting to cry, leaning against the doorway, and Henry’s feet carried him over to her.

“What happened? Let me look,” Henry said, raising his hands to her face. He turned into a protective boyfriend, instantly, as he gently took her hand away from her face and cupped her cheek with his other hand. Her nose was most definitely broken, blood gushing out of it and onto her hand.

“Ow,” she whined, “I think it’s broken.”

“Yeah, darling, I think it is. We need to get you to the emergency room.”

“But what about your wrap party?” She asked. Henry walked into the bathroom underneath the stairs, grabbing a hand towel, and brought it back to her. He put it against her nose.

“It’s perfectly alright. Just don’t take pressure off, I’m going to get the car keys.” He promptly ran to the kitchen to find his keys, and when he did, he raced back to them. “I’ll deal with you later,” he said to the dog as he picked up their two phones from the chargers. He slipped one of them into his pocket and the other into her hand when he met her again.

“This hurts,” she cried out. Her mascara was starting to run, messing up the makeup she’d spent a full hour on, as Henry walked her out to the car and got her in. He shut her door before shutting his own, turning the car on. After a minute of tense driving down the cobblestone street, he heard a noise. His eyes flew over to her, worried something else had happened, but it wasn’t a cry. It was a laugh.

“Are you laughing? Or crying?” He asked, half-worried that she’d hit her head, too. He took his hand off of the steering wheel after a turn and placed it in between her thighs at the slit in her dress, not even thinking to adjust the air so she wouldn’t be cold.

“Both,” she winced as she pushed at her nose harder. “I found a meme.” Henry rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I’ll never understand that,” she answered in response.

“You’ll hurt more if you don’t stop laughing.” Her smile faded and she went back to holding her nose. Henry considered himself luck that the closest emergency room was just down the street and around a corner, because he was really starting to think she’d hit her head as she smiled at another meme on what looked like Instagram.

Henry pulled into the hospital and grabbed the parking ticket, shoving it in his dashboard. He then stopped the car and put it into reverse, trying to back into the spot. He looked behind him, placing his hand on the back of her seat.

“You’re really hot when you back up,” she said. Henry’s eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“I’m starting to think you have concussion, too. How hard did you hit that wall?”

“Ask Kal,” she scoffed in response. Henry turned the car off and went to get her from the passenger side, then walked her in. He instructed her to go sit down, thankful that the place was nearly empty on a Thursday night at 9 PM. He got into the line and was handed a tablet to fill out her information on, and took a seat beside her. She was still in her dress, hair still curled, and she leaned her head on Henry’s shoulder as he started typing.

“What’s your birthday, darling?” He asked. “I know the month, I forgot if it’s the thirteenth…”

“Fifteenth,” she answered. The tears were starting to come to her eyes again as her nose throbbed. “It’s starting to really hurt.”

“We’ll get you in, don’t worry.” He spoke as quietly as he could, noticing a sleeping child in one corner of the room. He hated hospitals, he remembered, but he was too stressed about the fate of his love’s nose to worry about it. He finished typing and brought it back to the nurse at the front desk, sitting back down beside his girlfriend. He put his arm behind her head, letting her lean into him again. His shirt could get bleached if it got blood on it, he decided. She shut her eyes, trying not to cry any more, as Henry took out his phone to text his friend that they weren’t going to make it because his dog had decided to be an absolute menace. And then he texted his neighbor, asking if they would mind watching the house. And then he turned to his girlfriend and kissed her.

The nurse called her name a few minutes later, just as Henry’s neighbor was texting him that he would be over to the house to set the alarm in a minute. Henry helped his girlfriend walk through until they were sitting her down to take her blood pressure. She cringed when they took blood from her arm, but didn’t need Henry to hold her hand. Another nurse showed them to an exam room and took her insurance card, leaving her alone with Henry.

“I’m sorry I ruined your wrap party,” she said. Henry chuckled.

“That’s not what I’m worried about right now. I’m worried about your nose.”

“Will you still think I’m pretty if it’s broken?” He looked over at her.

“I will still think you’re the prettiest girl in the world if your nose is broken,” he assured her. He took her hand and squeezed it, kissing her again his as the nurse walked back in.

“You’re lucky the swelling isn’t worse,” the nurse said after inspecting her nose, “but it does need to be re-set.”

“Can’t I just be ugly?” She groaned, looking over at Henry. “You said you’d think I’m pretty anyway.”

“Can you check for a concussion, too?” Henry asked. “She’s being a little… wacky.”

“I hate you.” The nurse laughed.

“Alright, just relax.” After another painful crack, her nose was fixed, and the nurse was giving her a prescription for stronger medication than what Henry had. There was no concussion, either – she’d just had too many glasses of wine at dinner. They were alone again, waiting for papers, and she had reached her arms out to hug Henry. The guilt of the entire night possessed him to kiss her face, over and over again, before sighing.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked as he hugged her.

“What?” She asked. He could smell her perfume going in and out of her nose.

“I was going to tell you I love you tonight. Because I am. I do. I love you. And I’m sorry your nose got broken.”

“I can’t believe it took my nose being broken for you to say it,” she replied. A smile teased at her lips. “I love you too, Cavill.”

“I’m sorry my dog is such an asshole sometimes.”

“So are you,” she remarked. “I forgive him. And at least this means I have an excuse to get a nose job.” Henry chuckled and kissed her. He was overloading her with kisses and she didn’t mind. If he gave her this many kisses hen she was hurt, maybe she should let Kal knock her over more often. Henry accepted the papers the nurse handed him when she came back in, and helped his girlfriend back out to the car. He took her hand this time, squeezing it as he watched her scroll through her phone again.

“Why do you love me?” She asked. “I’m such a mess.” Henry laughed and squeezed her hand tighter.

“Because you are the only person I know that would have a broken nose, laugh on the way to the emergency room, and forgive the dog who did it.” He smiled at her, even though it was too dark to see her face really, and let go of her hand as he pulled into the pharmacy. He looked over at her as he was halfway home, surprised to see that she was asleep. So he didn’t wake her. Instead he opened her door and took her out of it, picking her up and carrying her with absolute ease.

“You were a bad boy tonight,” he told Kal as he walked into the house. “Be quiet so she can sleep. She’s on the medicine you made them give her.” She didn’t stir when Henry laid her down on the bed, or when he took her dress off her shoulders. But she did when he walked into the bathroom, removing the cufflinks he had nervously put on at the hospital. They clinked on the vanity and Henry looked behind him as he heard the rustling of the bed covers.

“Henry?” She asked tiredly.

“Yes, my darling?” He asked as he looked behind him.

“Will you still love me after I get a nose job?”

“I would love you if you got a thousand nose jobs.” He walked back over to her, tucking her in, and pressed a gentle kiss to her swollen nose. “Good night, my love.”

#Henry Cavill x reader #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill imagine

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theloreofwhatilove · 4 years

Text

She said the easter eggs 🐣 are lyrical 📝 instead of visual 👀 so here’s every parallel I could find so far 🔍

🍂 the 1

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit 🆚 I’m doing better than I ever was (ciwyw)

and if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow 🆚 if I bleed you’ll be the last to know (cruel summer) 🆚 you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding (cardigan)

roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool 🆚 have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years? (lover) 🆚 I've been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night (daylight) 🆚 once in twenty lifetimes (cardigan) 🆚️ only twenty minutes to sleep (epiphany)

for never leaving well enough alone 🆚 I never leave well enough alone (me!)

and it's another day, waking up alone 🆚 and I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side (dress) 🆚 we both wake in lonely beds, different cities (sad beautiful tragic)

🍂 cardigan

when you are young, they assume you know nothing 🆚 when you’re young you just run (this love)

high heels on cobblestones 🆚️ I was walking home on broken cobblestones (betty)

a friend to all is a friend to none 🆚 all of my enemies started out friends (the archer)

your heartbeat on the High Line 🆚 my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue (ithk)

you stepping on the last train 🆚 we wait for trains that just aren't coming (new romantics) 🆚 I stood right by the tracks (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 the train runs off its tracks (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train (tlgad)

marked me like a bloodstain 🆚 made your mark on me (dress) 🆚 you’re still all over me like a whine stained dress (clean) 🆚 this love left a permanent mark (this love) 🆚️ and you can aim for my heart, go for blood (my tears ricochet) 🆚️ sir, I think hes bleeding out (epiphany)

and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite 🆚️ but I know I miss you, standing in your cardigan (betty)

leaving like a father, running like water 🆚 clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in (this love) 🆚 skies grew darker, currents swept you out again (this love)

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss 🆚 made your mark on me, a golden tattoo (dress)

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs 🆚 can't turn back now, I'm haunted (haunted) 🆚️ you know I didn't want to have to haunt you (my tears ricochet)

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time 🆚 it's 2am and I'm cursing your name (twily) 🆚️ cursing my name, wishing I'd stayed (my tears ricochet)

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired 🆚 you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had (wonderland) 🆚 “what you've heard is true but I can't stop thinking about you” (style)

and you'd be standing in my front porch light 🆚 stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain, she’ll open up the door and say “are you insane?” (hygtg) 🆚 wishing you were at my door, I’d open up and you would say (enchanted) 🆚 this is the last time I let you in my door (the last time) 🆚 you find yourself at my door just like all those times before (the last time) 🆚️ and maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway (this is me trying) 🆚️ Betty, I'm here on your doorstep (betty)

and I knew you'd come back to me 🆚 this love came back to me (this love) 🆚 now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late (ayhtdws)

the smell of smoke would hang around this long 🆚️ clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke (daylight)

to kiss in cars and downtown bars 🆚️ remember when I pulled up and said "get in the car" (august) 🆚️ pulled the car off the road to the lookout (this is me trying) 🆚️ remember when you hit the brakes too soon? (ootw) 🆚️ all I know is that you drive us off the road (ayhtdws) 🆚️ "I rent a place on Cornelia Street" I say casually in the car (cornelia street) 🆚️ we were in the backseat drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar (cornelia street) 🆚️ I'm drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (cruel summer) 🆚️ she said "James, get in, let's drive" (betty) 🆚️ lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we can follow the sparks, I'll drive (ithk)

🍂 last great american dynasty

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud 🆚 it was so nice throwing big parties (tiwwchnt)

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen 🆚 in the end in wonderland we both went mad (wonderland) 🆚 it's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind (wonderland) 🆚️ and there's nothing like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad, no one likes a mad woman (mad woman) 🆚️ they'd paint me out to be bad so, it's okay that I'm mad (the man)

filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names 🆚 jump into the pool from the balcony, everyone swimming in a champagne sea (tiwwchnt) 🆚 in the winter, in the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too (paper rings) 🆚️ roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool (the 1)

Holiday House sat quietly on that beach, free of women with madness, heir men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me 🆚 bad bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it (cruel summer)

I had a marvelous time ruining everything 🆚️ they say I did something bad but why's it feel so good? most fun I ever had and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could (idsb)

🍂 exile

you’re not my homeland anymore 🆚 our country guess it was a lawless land (dbatc)

you were my town 🆚 you’re the west village (false god)

now I’m in exile seeing you out 🆚 and I can still see you; this ain't the best view, on the outside, lookin' in (the outside) 🆚️ visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into (beautiful ghosts)

I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending 🆚 music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie, it's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see (breathe) 🆚 tried to change the ending (cardigan)

you were my crown 🆚 they took the crown (ciwyw)

I think I’ve seen this film before so I’m leaving out the side door 🆚 you gotta leave before you get left (idsb) 🆚 should’ve known I’d be the first to leave (getaway car)

we always walked a very thin line 🆚 you and I walk a fragile line (haunted) 🆚 lost your balance on a tight rope (innocent) 🆚️ I'm still on that tight rope (mirrorball)

there is no amount of crying I can do for you 🆚 you never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you (cold as you)

you didn’t even hear me out 🆚 could you just try to listen? (sad beautiful tragic) 🆚 I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing (clean)

🍂 my tears ricochet

and if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too 🆚️ and if I get burned, at least we were electrified (dress)

even on my worst day did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me? 🆚️ even in my worst times you could see the best of me (dress)

and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? 🆚️ if the story's over why am I still writing pages? (dbatc)

and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves 🆚️ loose lips sink ships all the damn time (ikp)

cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave 🆚️ this ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight (afterglow) 🆚️ if you wanna fight, baby let's go (battle) 🆚️ now we're fighting dirty (battle) 🆚️ fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves (afterglow) 🆚️ combat, I'm ready for combat (the archer)

🍂 seven

I was too scared to jump in 🆚️ don't be afraid to jump then fall (jump then fall)

🍂 august

but I can see us lost in the memory 🆚️ hold on to the memories (new years day) 🆚️ I bet these memories follow you around (wildest dreams)

and I can see us twisted in bedsheets 🆚️ you see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night (wildest dreams) 🆚️ and I can still see it all in my mind, all of you, all of me, intertwined (daylight)

cancel plans just in case you'd call 🆚️ paper cut stings from our paper thin plans (dbatc) 🆚️ I never planned on you changing your mind (last kiss) 🆚️ my best laid plan (hoax) 🆚️ I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans (ithk)

cancel plans just in case you'd call and say "meet me behind the mall" 🆚️ phone lights up my nightstand in the black "come here, you can meet me in the back" (delicate)

🍂 this is me trying

they told me all of my cages were mental 🆚️ gold cage, hostage to my feelings (so it goes) 🆚️ put you in jail for something you didn't do (afterglow)

and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad 🆚️ I've been the archer, I've been the prey (the archer) 🆚️ they strike to kill and you know I will (mad woman)

and it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound 🆚️ what do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? (tmik) 🆚️ and it was like slow motion,standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick, with no one to impress (tmik) 🆚️ all of the moment I knew tbh

🍂 illicit affairs

tell yourself you can always stop what started in beautiful rooms 🆚️ visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into (beautiful ghosts)

a drug that only worked the first few hundred times 🆚️ my drug is my baby, I'll be using for the rest of my life (dont blame me) 🆚️ gave up on me like I was a bad drug (dbatc)

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me 🆚️ we made quite a mess babe (I almost do) 🆚️ I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you've made (ayhtdws) 🆚️ I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted (dwoht)

and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself 🆚️ for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face (dont blame me) 🆚️ nothing safe is worth the drive (treacherous)

you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else 🆚️ the rest of the world was black and white, but was were in screaming color (ootw)

🍂 invisible string

cutting me open, then healing me fine 🆚️ paper cut stings from our paper thin plans (dbatc) 🆚️ so cut the headlights, summer's a knife, I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone (cruel summer) 🆚️ but I'll be alright it's just a thousand cuts (dbatc)

pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar 🆚️ dive bar on the east side, where you at? (delicate)

🍂 mad woman

do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? 🆚️ I see your face in my mind as I walk away (breathe)

no one likes a mad woman, you made her like that 🆚️ look what you made me do (lwymmd) 🆚️ dont blame me, love made me crazy (dont blame me)

and women like hunting witches, too 🆚️ theure burning all the witches even if you arent one (idsb)

does she smile? or does she mouth "fuck you forever"? 🆚️ but if I just showed up at your party would you have me? would you want me? would you tell me to go fuck myself (betty)

🍂 betty

you heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true 🆚️ the rumors are terrible and cruel, but honey, most of them are true (new romantics) 🆚️ ain't it funny, rumors fly, and I know you heard about me (blank space)

in the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? 🆚️ and I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate (cruel summer) 🆚️ I dont trust nobody, and nobody trusts me (lwymmd)

I don't know anything but I know I miss you 🆚️ I don't know how to be something you miss (last kiss)

just thinking of you when she pulled up 🆚️ he says, "what you've heard is true but I can't stop thinking about you" (style)

🍂 peace

the devil's in the details but you got a friend in me 🆚️ it's nice to have a friend (inthaf)

you paint dreamscapes on the wall 🆚️ you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray (cold as you)

I talk shit with my friends 🆚️ if a man talks ahit then I owe him nothing (idsb)

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences 🆚️ lights flash and we'll run for the fences (ikp)

give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other 🆚️ you can hear it in the silence (you are in love)

but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm 🆚️ he built a fire just to keep me warm (ciwyw)

all these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret 🆚️ I, I loved you in secret, first sight, yeah, we love without reason (dwoht)

🍂 hoax

my twisted knife 🆚️ I brought a knife to a gun fight (ciwyw)

your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in 🆚️ even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love (false god)

don't want no other shade of blue but you 🆚️ deep blue but you painted me golden (dwoht) 🆚️ it's blue, the feeling I've got (cruel summer) 🆚️ I'm with you even if it makes me blue (paper rings) 🆚️ my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue (lover) 🆚️ we're so sad we paint the town blue (ma&thp) 🆚️ I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue (afterglow)

you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for 🆚️ you know the greatest films of all time were never made (the 1) 🆚️ all of my heroes died all alone (the archer)

you knew it still hurts underneath my scars 🆚️ with every guitar string scar on my hand (lover) 🆚️ you drew stars around my scars but now I'm bleeding (cardigan)

you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? 🆚️ but now we've stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands and keeps score (eyes open)

my only one, my kingdom come undone 🆚️ I dont like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me (lwymmd)

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years

Text

Before he cheats - L. Hemmings

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Oddly enough, despite the intentions swirling round in he head as she drove to the house, Y/N was calm. Unnaturally calm, if you ask her.

She had a smile on her face as she sung along to the Carrie Underwood song blaring through the speakers of her beat up jeep. The lyrics were far too relevant to her current situation, and while she knew she should be upset, angry even, she couldn't bring herself to lower her mood as she prepared for the fun she was about to have.

Payback is a bitch, and her name is Y/N. Jake was about to find that out.

Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably getting frisky.

She let herself wonder what Jake is currently doing as she pulled up to the house that looked far too good to house somebody like him. All lights were off, signalling that she wasn't home. Perfect timing.

Right now, she could imagine he was going about the same routine he followed closely.

Take his latest conquest to a bar only he likes, pull his girl into a dance (most likely a handsy slow dance), buy a drink for her, then wait til shes drunk enough to let him take her home and flop around on top of her for a measly two minutes while she lays there buzzed and unsatisfied.

Y/N couldn't figure out what it was she found so appealing about the sleazy man. After all, her mama always told her a man whose name starts with "J" would try to ruin her life. Well, she wouldn't let the man get close to that. Even now, as he believed he had her wrapped round his pinkie while he schmoozed another girl and forgot what monogamy was.

Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey.

His large range rover was in perfect view, sitting pretty in his garage that he always left open. He didn't even have insurance, nor did he bother locking the car he adored up while he wasn't home.

He was too narcissistic to think anybody would ever do something wrong to him.

She was about to prove him wrong.

She stepped out of her car, heading to the back to grab a bag she packed specifically for her late night mission.

What she didn't expect was to meet the gaze of a set of piercing blue eyes that watched her curiously from his front porch.

Luke Hemmings. He was in her sociological studies class at University. They hadn't spoken much, but he was Jake's neighbour.

"Hey, Y/N," Luke said curiously. "Jake's not home."

"I know," she stated. "I, uh, have something I need to do while he's gone."

He eyed the large bag, and his mouth worked before his brain could stop it, "Oh, you come to get your stuff from his house?"

She quirked a brow at this, tilting her head as the nigh breeze blew through her hair, whipping it around.

Luke had to fight the redness rising to his cheeks at the sight of the woman. He had the biggest crush on her, and he was going to ask her for coffee until he saw her with his neighbor.

The same neighbor who stumbled out of his house loudly a few hours before with a bleach blonde under his arm.

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo.

"Why would you think I'm coming to get my stuff?" She laughed with little humor. She was curious to hear what the man had to say.

His face dropped at her question. Did she not know? He thought.

"Oh, um," he shifted awkwardly. His initial thought was that they had broken up and Jake had simply moved on quickly, but it is more plausible that he is cheating on Y/N. "I thought you two had broken up-"

She laughed again, one filled with empathetic humor as she waved her hand at Luke.

"You thought we broke up?" Luke nodded slowly, his long curls bouncing with the motion. Y/N shook her head, dropping the bag down onto the driveway. "No, he didn't have the morality to do that. Instead he's out with some other woman."

There was a small smile on her face. She was calm, but anybody with half a brain could see the pain in her eyes. The betrayal forcing tears to prick the border of her eyelids.

Luke felt his blood boil. He had always disliked Jake. The while neighbourhood did. He was a truly horrible neighbour, anybody could vouch for that.

But Y/N was kind and respectful. She baked cookies for Jake's neighbors for the holidays, and she was always there to help out the older residents that lived directly across from Jake.

She was at his house more than her own so she took it upon herself to get to know the neighbors and help out where she could.

Y/N took Luke's silence as a signal that the conversation had ended, so she crouched down to grab the bag, barely noticing as the man crouched beside her.

"Mind me asking what's in the bag?" He smirked, watching as she fumbled with the zipper.

His hands moved hers aside, unzipping the large bag with ease and his eyes widened when Y/N procured a large baseball bat from the black canvas.

She had a grin on her face. One of pure excitement that was framed by the light pink lipstick she had on.

Luke took a moment to observe the determination in her eyes, and before he could further question her, she stood to her feet and walked closer to the Range Rover.

"Can I trust you?" She winked at him, knowing he was the closest neighbour that was at home to witness her plan.

The elderly couple across the way were at their granddaughters wedding for the weekend, and all of the other neighbors had a decent 20-25 feet between the edges of their property and the edge of Jake's.

It was a nice area for building, with Luke's house, Jake's house and the elderly couples being the only ones within decent range of one another.

"I think so?" It came out more as a question than a statement as she fished the keys for the vehicle out of the 'hidden' spot they owned in the garage.

"I planned this perfectly, Lucas," she fixed him with a serious glare, resting the bat on her shoulder and tossing the keys to him after she disarmed the alarm. "Nobody is around, and I'm going to dump the asshole tomorrow. You're the only outlier, so the only option left is to recruit you. Come on, you wanna get back at Jake don't you?"

"First," he raised a long finger, "my name isn't Lucas. Second, yeah but this is illegal."

She walked closer to him, resting a hand on his chest with a sly grin, "Oh, Lucas, Jakey boy is in so much debt that this ugly ass car is in my name. Not much anybody can do if I destroy my own property."

He gulped at the feeling of her small hand on his chest, and the sight of her staring up at him with doe eyes.

"So, you in?" He thought for a second, only to nod slowly, watching the grin on her face spread. "Batter up!"

She stepped away, swinging her right arm and connecting the bat with the front headlight of the car.

I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive. Carved my name into his leather seats.

She took out the headlights with such ferocity that Luke couldn't draw his eyes away.

Even destroying a vehicle in such an animal way, he thought her to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Uh, what else have you got in this bag?" He tried to force his attention away from the woman, knowing he had no right to think in such a way when she was literally about to get out of a relationship.

"I have like, 24 bottles of beer in there if you want one," she smiled sweetly, taking a swing at the windshield. "Figured I might get thirsty, and what better combination that revenge and alcohol?"

He shrugged at her, chuckling softly as he passed a bottle to her and opened his.

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights. I slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

The alcohol in their veins allowed Y/N to convince Luke to get in on the destructive action.

So far in that they sat in the back seat for almost an hour playing naughts and crosses in the leather seats with Y/N's pocket knife.

Luke won. Every time.

They painted numbers on the tires and played Darts. Luke huffing as Y/N beat him on every wheel.

More beers down and they were using the keys to the truck to carve pictures into the pristine blue paint job.

Safe to say, there were a few penis images included from Y/N.

The last thing either of them remember, they were down to four beers left each and Luke had managed to take the spark plugs out of the engine while Y/N left Jake a little message on the steering wheel.

She had a pre-written note, as she knew her drunken mind wouldn't be able to handle literature at the late hour.

"Lucas!" She slurred, "Come listen to this and tell me if it sounds okay!"

He trotted over to her quickly, handing her the spark plugs with a proud grin on his face.

"Dear Jake, I hope you enjoyed the two minutes of passion that you give to blondie. She's too pretty for you anyways, give her my number. I hope you like what I did with MY car." Her words were blending together as she sipped her beer some more. "At least this saves trouble for the next girl you cheat on. I'll be back to collect my car tomorrow. Not a single bit of love, Y/N."

"That sounds like it could be a song. Or some angry slam poetry. You should write music for my band!" Luke's intoxicated mind went wild with ideas, all amounting to time he could spend with Y/N.

"Shush," she pressed a hand to his mouth, cringing when he licked it, but not removing it. "How can I stick this to the wheel?"

Luke pokes his tongue out, letting the strawberry chewing gum show on his tongue.

"Genius!" She exclaimed, peeling the small pink bundle off of his tongue and sticking it to the steering wheel before she delicately folded the paper and smacked it onto the warm gum. "That's gross but I love it! I need to wash my hands."

"Hey! You just put your hand on my tongue and you don't hear me complaining."

"Your tongue is gross! My hand isn't, Lucas!"

"My tongue is perfect!"

"Prove it," she smirked, watching as his eyes darkened slightly.

Whether it was the rush of confidence from the alcohol, or the sheer powers of persuasion she had over him, Luke managed to step forward and connect his lips with Y/N's.

The next morning they both woke with a satisfied feeling in their chests, as their naked bodies rested together on Luke's king size bed.

The sound of a very loud, and very high pitched shriek forced both of them into consciousness, and Y/N sat up to look out Luke's bedroom window.

She had the perfect view of Jake on his knees in his driveway, staring with an open mouth at his prized care that is in metaphorical tatters.

An arm wrapped round her bare waist, pulling her back down to the bed and closer to the body laying next to her.

"Laugh at him later, cuddle for now," Luke grumbled into her neck and Y/N giggled at him.

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings x reader #5sos #songfic #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford

80 notes · View notes

szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? no

Who is the person you would least like to be stuck in a lift with? Why? smelly drunk puking rapist murderer - do I really have to explain? If your parents looked in your inbox and read your messages, would they find out anything you didn’t want them to know? my sexts Have you cried at all during the past week? ... When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? now, no comment Who was the last person you had an argument with? how would you feel if that person never spoke to you again? both good and bad

Do you like forks with three metal pokers, or four? I don’t care Would you ever wear a hat with cat ears on it? I already do

Have you ever eating raw sugar by itself? when I was a kid I was stealing it from my grandma’s sugar-bowl Do you paint your left or right hand fingernails first? I don’t recall but probably left as I’m righty What about for your feet? not that I paint them but whatever What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? hmm... Do you think fish are cute? some can be If you found an ant on your food, would you still eat it? doubt it How much do you weigh? 42 kg now

What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? but dates or relationship?

Do you have any theatrical experience? If so, what have you done? just school

Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? every subject you talk about constantly is getting on my nerves tbh

Is there anything you need to say to anyone? I don’t know how/what/if I should/want to

If you could have anyone to do your eulogy, who would it be and why? my dad

If given the choice, would you rather go to Subway or a Chinese restaurant? Subway

Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? many ways

Whose car were you in last? I was in a taxi

How late did you stay up last night? I barely slept at all because of cannula/venflon and feeling like I’m choking, also noise and anxiety

What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? coming home

Who did you last see in person? mom

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? today (my father)

What is on your wrists right now? finally nothing and that feels weird, I constantly want to fix my ID wristband but it’s not there anymore

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? second hand - it has an elephant and Perfectly imperfect written on it

Do you like clowns? very

Are you listening to anything at the moment? I am

Do you twitch when your falling asleep? it happens at times but only rarely

Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? we don’t own a dishwasher

Are you at home or with friends more often? home and I like it that way

Would you date someone 15 years older than you? noooo

Do you own a strapless bra? nah

How are you feeling at this exact moment? it’s complicated

Are you someone who worries too often? absolutely

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? obvi

What is one good thing you’re known for? How about one bad thing? don’t ask me

Are you taller than most? lmfao

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? take a guess...

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? it seems

Do you regret going out with the last person you did? going out as dating or just spending time with somebody outside?

When was the last time you showered? few days ago because I couldn’t move my arm :(

Who did you last talk to in person? my mother

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? yeah

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? hahaha

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? not sure

What area of math are you best at? Worst? dunno

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? only Dorota had similar taste in music to mine not counting my current gf’s love towards 80s songs that we share

How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? often?

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? yes

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? sure

What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? everything?...

If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? mixed feelings

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? -

Have you ever considered going to art school? I have considered and am slightly regretting that I didn’t

How quickly can you write an essay? depends

Favorite episode of Spongebob? it’s not my fav but I remember the one where Spongebob painted the room most (why tho?)

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? would say so

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? I might

Do u own a rolling pin?: u don’t? :o

What’s your ideal indoor temperature?: never checked

Does your kitchen have a theme?: ... apparently poop is the theme

Are u a pack rat?: mhm

What’s the grossest thing u have found in your food?: bug, hair, piece of plastic...

Do u like ice cream sandwiches?: why not

Ever worn a flower in your hair?: for a moment

What surgeries have u had?: none

What health problems do u have?: what health problems I don’t have?...

Do u like to sleep in?: yasss

Don’t ya just hate foot cramps? who likes those?

Would you say you have an infectious laugh? not really Shouldn’t you be doing something else right now? omg thx for a reminder :o What is something you worry about often? every single thing Do you walk fast or slow? compared to?... Would you consider yourself healthy? Both mind and body. not at all Does sitting in waiting rooms drive you insane? not as much as majority of people, I can wait for a long time when I see the point and don’t feel the worst, I don’t need much entertainment to not get bored What form of public transport do you use most often? bus Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? the opposite Have you ever been arrested? If so, why? I’m an angel Do you ever put sticky notes around the place to remind yourself of things? I have shitload of notes but they’re not sticky Would you eat a spider for $50? hell no Would you rather be a kangaroo or a koala? koala Are you easy to talk to? am I? Can you juggle with more than two items? I can’t juggle with one item pfft At airports do you ever worry your luggage won’t arrive? scary but luckily I don’t travel by plane What other windows have you currently got opened? fb, youtube, tumblr drafts, google translator and google searching Who else is in the same building as you? my parents Would you like a penny farthing bicycle? maybe Would you ever consider visiting Ireland? what for? Would you like to visit Venice? no thx Did you ever eat leaves when you were a kid? my sister did Do you have any flags in your house? we occasionally put polish flag on balcony Are there any ‘keep off the grass’ signs where you live? just don’t throw trash on the ground on cemetery Have you ever walked on the grass with such a sign? that’s rude unless you really didn’t notice or had no choice Are you double-jointed? could say so At school which area of science did you prefer: biology/chemistry/physics? definitely not physics Which did you prefer between geography/history? neither Have you ever driven a tractor? didn’t have an opportunity Does the smell of the countryside bother you? animal shit does Do you drink more water or juice? water

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. I like it hot, I hate winter but I enjoy sweaters Is there a cat in the room you’re in right now? stuffed only Do you enjoy going to the movies? prefer to watch movies at home

Are you an animal lover? I admire from afar How tall are you? according to my doctor I lost 2 cm Is there anything you want to ask anyone right now? God Are you gay, straight, bi, lesbian, asexual, or not sure? asexual/lesbian Are you more negative or more positive? negative Have you made any life altering decisions lately? I’m deciding

Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? not atm Have you made a CV? several Where is the last place you applied for a job? (If you have) which was the last one... Are you photogenic? I’m ugly

What are you listening to right now? stopped because family member is asleep What are you going to do tomorrow? shopping if anything

Have you ever been judged on something you wore? been bullied

Think QUICK what word begins with c? clown :D

Are you a funny person? I believe Be honest, do you go for looks more or personality? personality is more important but I’m picky

Are you a flirty person? a bit

Are you homophobic? I’m homo myself so...

How would you react if someone said you ruined their life? I know I ruin everybody’s lives

If you’re home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom? I don’t lock ‘em even when I’m not alone

What’s the stupidest song you’ve listened to today? nothing stupid

How is your hair currently styled? it’s dirty and after this survey I will wash my head finally

Do you ever stay up late just to be awake oh well...

Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? I don’t think so

Would you rather spend the day watching movies or on an intense hike? entire day just one thing?!

Are you stressed about anything? always Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? too dangerous for me Are you one of those people who take like, 50 Facebook quizzes at a time? whoops :x What’s on your bed? it’s so clean/empty that it freaks me out Are you texting anyone? no longer

Did your last beverage contain caffeine? it was just water

Did you get any friend requests on Facebook today? did not

What’s your least favourite song by your favourite artist? for example - one of my fav bands - Queen - I dislike Radio Gaga and We will rock you

What’s your best friend’s middle name? no middle name!

Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? my partner

If the person you miss turned up at your door now, how would you react? woah wtf

Where were you THREE hours ago? in here

What are you wearing right now? my leggings with colorful heart pattern

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? parent

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? I got two shirts and socks

What day is tomorrow? Friday

Do you remember the first person you ever kissed? we’re together now again

Ever use someone else’s toothbrush? that’s disgusting, don’t!

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tenacioustimemachinesonggaming · 4 years

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5 Things All Casino Gaming Fans Are Sick of Hearing

The life of an online casino betting follower is full of heights and valleys. On one hand there are the excellent days, when chips appear to rain from the paradises as well as all the alcoholic drink web servers are part-time versions. Then there are the poor days, when the old lady with the oxygen container strikes smoke in your face as well as every video game appears bent on obtain you. Naturally, that simply features the region. What doesn't included the area, however, are several of the silly comments you need to listen to while attempting to win a couple of added bucks. The ones listened to behind-the-scenes are irritating enough, but when the moronic chatter is directed right to your admit it's enough to make you choke someone. This post details 5 points that all casino gambling fans are ill of hearing. If you've currently been pounded with these clichés over the years, after that you have my compassion. For those that are simply starting their betting professions, get ready to hear these expressions up until you're blue in the face.

1. "This video game is set up." Allow's get something directly: gambling enterprise video games are not rigged. Certain, the rules might eventually favor the house, but they're additionally plainly published for the client to read. The idea that the online casino would certainly rip off in the center of play is outrageous, as well as it's one of the most typical points that losing bettors inform themselves. This permits them to take the blame off themselves for their regarded miseries. If you do nothing else, do not misguide on your own into thinking that you're being ripped off. Just admit your duty in the process and take your losses like a man (or woman).

2. "The drinks are free around here. Yes!" Whenever I hear this, I try to flee immediately. These words are generally spoken by somebody that loves alcohol, and also those totally free drinks will certainly soon leave them careless drunk as well as wanting to strike up a discussion with their neighbor (in this instance, you). They do not seem to recognize that everything the gambling enterprise does is for a function. When you have way too much to consume, your mind ceases to function as properly. When that happens, your capacity to choose is adversely influenced. Every one of these variables add up to a benefit for your home. While you're chugging down imported beer, the online casino is lifting your budget as well as quietly removing the components.

3. "Hey, pal, can I obtain $5? I'll pay you back after I win." Despite exactly how negative your losing touch gets, you should never ever, ever ask an unfamiliar person to lend you money. Not just is it discourteous, it additionally puts the various other person in an extremely unpleasant position. Still, I bet this has taken place to me a minimum of 6 times over the last years, and I still remember every one of those cringe-worthy moments. A minimum of you can decline a street person while walking in a certain instructions. In this kind of situation, you're a resting duck with no place to go to. The only time I broke down and also drifted a funding was to an eye-catching thirty something woman, and also I still kick myself for that choice. As you may have guessed, I never ever obtained reimbursed. It resembles feeding apes at the zoo. Give food to one, as well as the other will come running. The very best plan is not to do it. Besides, it's a casino and not a soup kitchen area.

4. "The smoke does not trouble you, does it?" I always flinch when I'm playing ports and a blue-haired old woman sits down alongside me. It's not since I have some beef with seniors, it's just that I'm afraid they're a cigarette smoker. If they are, you can wager they'll be fishing out a cancer cells stick within minutes of their arrival. I have actually handled asthma since I was a youngster. I have actually obtained a minor situation, yet it can be intensified by direct exposure to particular kinds of chemicals. Cigarette smoke is certainly on that checklist. While I hate for a person to ask if smoke troubles me while I'm clearly transforming blue, a minimum of they have the politeness to make inquiries. The people I really despise are the ones that sit down as well as intentionally blow it in my instructions.

Here are simply several of the chemicals discovered in cigarette smoke, in addition to various other locations these same active ingredients lie:

Butane-- rubber concrete Tar-- utilized to pave roads Arsenic-- rat poisonous substance Ammonia-- household cleansing products Methanol-- rocket fuel Acetone-- nail polish remover 5. "Time for an additional journey to the ATM MACHINE." If I had a quarter for every single time I would certainly heard this phrase uttered in casino sites ... well, I would certainly have a helluva great deal of quarters. Some gamers come close to the gambling enterprises like lunatics, wagering shocking sums of cash without also understanding the appropriate approach for their game of selection. When they inevitably run out of money, their option is simple: head back to the ATM. Not just is this foolish, but it's likewise a great way to end up with a drained pipes savings account. This is precisely the reason why online casinos position ATM around to begin with. It's also a total slap in the face to the concept of money monitoring. The purpose is to play only with the cash you can pay for to lose, not dip right into savings that are being held aside for food, rental fee, as well as your child's college education.

Final thought Gambling at the gambling establishment can be challenging, as a winning streak can quickly become a living problem. It's all part of the video game, though, as well as experienced bettors learn to take the great with the negative. While gamers can obtain used to the ups and also downs of video gaming, there are some phrases as well as clichés that are most likely to trigger also the most experienced pro. Yell one of these at Doyle Brunson the following time he putters by on his mobility scooter, and also he's likely to try and also run you over.

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ill-skillsgard · 5 years

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Patterns in the Ivy, Part 1 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Patterns in the Ivy

Description: A continuation of Smoke & Money. Ghosts from the not-so-distant past come back to threaten her. She must choose between a lavish life of servitude or have everything she ever loved stripped away.

Warning: 18+ smut/swearing/mentions of drugs/kink & fetish themes

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

I never thought that my life would turn out this way. One day I was on my own, living in a crappy apartment with nobody but myself to worry about and before I knew it, that had all changed. I had her now. My beautiful daughter. She was almost four years old already. I was constantly baffled by the amount of time it took for me to become the person I was meant to be; a mother to a child.

She was the most incredible human being that I had ever met. Every single day she got smarter and with each of those days, it became easier and easier to talk to her. When I had her, I named her Ivany. She was a sweet little baby with brown hair and big soul-searching eyes. I loved her immediately. All the world melted away. All my problems had been solved by the birth of just one perfect human being.

Nothing in my past meant a thing after she came around. I left my former self behind in favor of her. She made all the bad whispers go away. She warded off my loneliness and filled the silence. She occupied my ever-racing mind so that I could just feel calm when I hadn't ever known the definition of calmness. Ivany was my last strand of hope, the only one that couldn't break.

I did everything that I could to make our life together a good one. I found us a townhouse to live in and I found myself steady jobs to support us. Before Ivany, I never knew a life of selflessness. I didn't know what it was like to love another person unconditionally and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Our life together was fun and exciting with zero complications and that was the way I wanted it. But of course, life had its way of ripping apart everything I loved like a rabid dog, tearing at the seams with seemingly no effort at all. Just when I thought I had finally let my roots grow.

It all began on a day that I decided to take Ivany to the park after school.

I was sat on a bench with a book in hand, unable to really take in the words as I was too busy looking up every twenty seconds to check up on her. Sick of reading the same sentence over and over, I put the book in my purse. I preferred to watch her anyway. There were a few other children and parents around and more coming in. Off in the distance, I saw an older man with a young boy approaching and older kids walking in from school.

"Watch me, Mommy!" I heard Ivany call from the swing she had claimed as her own.

"I can see you, Ivy!" I called to her.

After a little while, the park started to get crowded. I stood up from the bench and circled around, following Ivany wherever she went. To say I was overprotective would be a grand understatement.

"Is that one yours?" A male voice from behind me asked.

I turned around to see who it was speaking to me. It was the older man I had spotted earlier with the young boy. I feigned a smile. "Yeah, she is."

"She's a real cutie pie, huh? That one's going to be a heart-breaker someday."

I laughed uneasily. "I'll teach her to break fingers before hearts."

"She looks like you, too."

I always had doubts whenever somebody told me that Ivany looked like me. I had dark hair, almost black in certain light and hazel eyes. My facial features were softer, my nose more rounded. The peaks of my top lip came up to sharp points whereas her's were fuller. Her eyes were pools of dreary green that when I looked into, I could see visions of my forgotten past. Ivany didn't look much like me at all.

"Thanks," I said to him anyway.

Suddenly, I heard a shriek and my attention perked immediately. The sounds of my daughter crying sent me running towards where she was standing next to the swing set.

"Ivany!" I called.

The boy that had come with the man was standing beside her, little fists clenched at his sides and my daughter was crunched into a ball, holding her head and crying.

"What's wrong honey? What happened?" I asked her, kneeling down to look at her face.

"That boy hurt me!"

I moved her hand from where she had been clutching at her hair and saw that her pink barrette was askew and it looked like some of her hair had been ripped out. The more my daughter cried the angrier I got. The boy stood there watching, stone-faced and unmoved by her tears. I stood up as the man approached.

"Hey buddy, your kid just ripped out a chunk of my daughter's hair!"

"Kevin, that is not very nice! You apologize to the little girl this instant!" The man said.

The little boy turned towards us despondently and mumbled a half-ass, "sorry."

I lifted Ivany up, shot the both of them a glare and marched off with her in my arms, purse swinging from my wrist. Once we were far enough away I brushed my hand through her hair and rocked her a little bit.

"Are you okay to walk to the car, Ivy?"

"Yes, mom."

I set her down on the ground and looked at her red, puffy, crying face with sympathy. Unclipping her barrette, I smoothed out her hair and clicked my tongue in contempt.

"It's going to be okay, honey. Let's go get something to eat and then we'll go home and watch a movie."

I took Ivany home and got her settled down, fed and set her up in the living room with a blanket and her favourite movie. My girlfriend from next door was going to make her way over so that I could get ready for work.

Every two weeks I had to work late nights at my job and I had nobody else to watch Ivany. I had become very close to my next door neighbor, a petite ray of sunshine by the name of Kiki who had come to live in the States from Korea when she was just a girl. She and I got along well and Ivany loved her so we naturally became a little unit. I would look after her cats and she would look after my kid. It worked out well for both of us.

"Mommy, do you have to work?" Ivany asked me as I fluttered around looking for my misplaced items.

"Yes sweetie but Kiki is going to be here with you and you guys can watch TV together."

"I don't want you to go."

I stopped what I was doing and gazed at my daughter sitting up on the sofa. The look in her eyes made my heart sink into my stomach. I didn't want to leave for the night either. I had no choice when it came to working late nights. It was the only thing keeping me on top of my bills and rent.

"I'm sorry Ivy. I'll be here in the morning so don't you worry, okay? Work is just something adults have to do so you just worry about kid stuff like what kind of ice cream you want to have later and I'll take care of grown-up business. Deal?"

A smile on her face, she nodded at me. As long as she was happy and smiling, working a night job didn't seem too bad. Even if it was a gig as hostess of a strip club.

It wasn't ideal and I didn't love the idea of being around handsy drunk men but I got paid well for what I did. I was like a top-shelf shooter girl that still got tips but didn't have to take my top off and swing around a pole. Truth be told, it was a little reminiscent of my old job, only I didn't have to suck any dicks and nobody was actually allowed to touch me. I just had to kiss ass and serve drinks to bachelor parties and horny businessmen. I received the odd slap on the ass or 'accidental' tit grab but that was nothing compared to what I used to endure for money.

I didn't plan on being a glorified cocktail waitress for long. Just long enough to save for a down payment on a real house in a nice neighborhood near a good school.

Kiki arrived just in time for me to leave so I didn't have a lot of time for chatting. I gave Ivany a kiss, grabbed my purse and took one last look in the mirror to make sure I looked strip-club presentable. I never wore my uniform around Ivany. I kept it in my purse to change into when I arrived at work. It wasn't the raciest of outfits but it required me to wear a garter belt and stockings underneath a tight pair of high-waisted booty shorts, something I didn't need her to see me in. The last thing I wanted was for my four-year-old daughter to see me all sexed up for the job that I left for at night.

It was 7 PM when I arrived at work, an hour we called 'the graveyard' because we only had a few regular patrons at the bar and the dancers had yet to come out. It wasn't until later that we drew the curtains and turned up the music.

The club I worked at was upscale and recently renovated with a brand new stage, beautiful lighting, and a state-of-the-art sound system. The types of shows we put on were a little more tasteful than the average strip joint. Some of the girls put on spectacular performances, embracing the entertainment side of stripping and burlesque with lavish stage props and expertly choreographed routines. I had made friends with the owner as a cleaner but was quickly offered a job bartending. After I got good at that, I was promoted to head hostess when the last girl got caught running game in the VIP area- offering sexual favors for extra money on the side.

As I was preparing the bar for what was promising to be a very busy Friday night, my boss, the club owner, approached me with outstretched arms and a smile.

"My favourite Miss J. I have a special super-duper opportunity for you tonight madam and you are the ONLY lady on this planet for the job!"

"Oh my God, please don't ask me to clean the bathrooms again, I thought that's what the cleaning girl got hired for."

"Oh no, no, no," he clicked his tongue at me. "Somebody has requested your service in the VIP for tonight."

"What? Somebody specifically asked for me?"

"That's right," he sang. "And I know you're going to work that sweet, sweet magic and make Louie and yourself a lot of money."

"Is it a bachelor party?" I sighed.

Large groups of drunk men were not my favourite patrons to serve because at least one of them always mistook the waitresses for strippers and got warned or thrown out by security. It got old trying to explain the no-touching policy to someone who had chugged their weight in beer in the name of love.

"It's not a big party but they did rent the entire VIP lounge. Big money. Big, big money." Louie wagged his eyebrows at me.

"Oh no... Do I have to suck a cock or something? Is that what you're getting at?"

Louie laughed and guided me by the shoulders away from the bar area and towards the back room for a little more privacy.

"You don't have to do anything weird. I already explained that you are not one of the performers. They simply requested your services and yours alone..."

"I feel like there's something you're not telling me, Louie. What is it?"

Louie held his hands up in mock-prayer. "You know I would never ask but this is a very rich customer and if a blowjob means you and I can afford steak for dinner every night for the next couple of months... Would you be totally opposed?"

"Ew, Louie!" I hit him weakly. "You know I don't eat that shit."

"Eat the steak for me, honey! For us! I mean, I have my own price and I know you do too. Everybody does! Just... Give him the best damn service you can possibly provide, you hear? Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Maybe take a shot or two. Who knows!"

I continued to whack him playfully, the saucy fuck. "I will serve the shit out of our prestigious guest but I am NOT sucking any cocks. I am above that."

"I'm putting Serge on the VIP with you so if you get uncomfortable you'll have him, 'kay? Now be good and smile. Stick your boobs out a bit more. You're starting at nine up there after its cleaned from top to fucking bottom."

"Wait!" I caught Louie before he flitted off to be meticulous somewhere else. "Just how much money does this guy have?"

Louie's eyes widened. "Honey, you don't want to know. He paid in cash. I would have shut down this entire place for the amount he was willing to splash. Let's just say I didn't bat an eye and neither should you."

I was extremely curious to know what kind of person needed an entire floor to themselves. Maybe it was a celebrity or a professional athlete. I had heard of the place shutting down for famous football players or millionaire actors before. I hoped it was somebody that I knew.

The club was alive with music by nine o'clock and I was getting ready to enter the biggest VIP room we had with a bottle of champagne that cost more than my monthly car payments and two glass flutes. Serge, the head of security, stood between the door and the top of the staircase to make sure nobody came up and there was another huge guy posted right outside the door that I had never seen before. I leaned over to Serge and whispered, "is he one of ours?"

"Nah. Client's guard I guess. Some important guy in there."

"Just a guy?" I asked, my intrigue growing.

I wondered what the second glass was for then if there was only one person in the room.

"One guy, one guard. You let me know if you have any trouble."

"Oh, Serge." I swooned at the hulking head of security. "I feel so safe when you're around."

That safety soon faded as I was allowed into the room and saw who our high-profile customer was. I nearly choked on my own tongue. I felt my toes go numb in my heels and my hands started to shake.

"Hello, Miss J."

I suddenly felt like my stomach was about to erupt. Nausea filled me to the brim and I had to close my eyes to try to stay balanced. Once I was convinced I wouldn't fall over, I opened my eyes and saw a man sitting at the table that I never expected to see again in my life.

"Bill? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"That's how you're going to greet your patron? I was told you were the best service in town."

If I wasn't so afraid to move I would have dropped the tray I was holding along with the glasses and the bottle of champagne.

"What is going on? How did you... How did you find me?" I asked, looking behind me at the closed door, wondering if I should make a run for it.

Bill leaned back in his seat, stretching out his long legs so he could cross one over the other. I gulped as I took him in, designer shoes to his tailored suit and his fucking face. He looked so much more mature than I remembered him. He had a few more lines around his eyes and his cherub-like features had sharpened up a bit more. He still had that same painful glower, the one I could feel making my skin burn from across a room. Five years ago I had been so terrified of him and now was even worse. This older version of him looked even more threatening than when we had first met.

"Bring me a drink, please." He ignored my question.

"How...? How did you find me?"

Bill only stared at me with those huge, unforgiving eyes. He beckoned me forth with his hand and I hesitated, rooted to the floor in my heels. I only approached once his impatience became noticeable on his face.

Each step I took towards him made my insides twist more tightly. I set down the tray and placed a glass in front of him, trying to ignore the way his eyes followed like rolling marbles in a stone statue. I was now too aware of the cleavage that my top showed and the shortness of my bottoms. I started to sweat from my forehead and armpits.

"And one for you too." He said after accepting the glass stem between his thumb and index finger.

"No thanks."

"J... Pour a glass for yourself and sit down."

"I would really rather not."

"Hm." He mused, setting the glass down on the table after drinking down over half of its contents. "I don't think the owner of this establishment would be happy to hear you're refusing me service."

"I served you. Are we done here?"

"Far from it. Sit. Please. Don't make me ask you again. I just want to discuss something with you."

I sighed dramatically and plopped down on the chair furthest from him. I still couldn't believe that he was there, staring at me and demanding my audience. I wanted to leave and tell Louie too bad, that I was refusing to serve him as he was a danger to me but at the same time I couldn't believe I was in the same room as him again. It felt like the worst case of deja vu I had ever had. A ghost from my past had materialized out of nowhere to terrorize me and there was hardly a thing I could about it.

"What would you like to discuss so badly that you had to rent an entire fucking floor to lure me into?"

Bill smirked. "I'd like to discuss our daughter."

My breath stopped and I felt my face go white. I couldn't speak for a moment.

"I... I beg your fucking pardon?"

"You heard me, J." He said as he took another sip of champagne.

"No, no... I must have heard you wrong because you said something that makes absolutely no sense at all."

"Drop the act already. I know she's mine. I know you know she's mine."

I wanted to wind back and hit him but I was afraid he might call in his bodyguard and then Serge would come in too and the whole room would just explode. I'd probably lose my job and that was something I couldn't risk. If it were me from before I ever met Bill, I would have hit him. I couldn't now but fuck did I want to. I wanted to slap that smug look off his face and I think he could tell I was contemplating it too.

"How. Fucking. DARE you presume MY daughter belongs to anyone besides ME! She is not yours! You have no fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"I know that Ivany is mine."

I turned away from him to try to compose myself. I knew I was about to lose my temper in a very bad way.

"How fucking long have you been following us for?"

"Long enough. You certainly didn't try very hard to cover your tracks after a while."

"I have no tracks to cover! I'm living my own fucking life! I shouldn't have to be looking over my shoulder for your spies! This is harassment! I'll take you to court for stalking me."

"And I'll take you to court for custody of our child." He said frankly.

"Ivany is NOT yours!"

"From what I've seen, she looks just like me and the timeline certainly seems to coincide with me having fathered that child. Deny it all you want but I know that she's my daughter and I've known for a long time."

"Then why now? Huh? If you think she's yours, which she is not, why did you wait so long to snake out of the fucking shadows you sick, arrogant prick?"

"I needed to be one hundred percent certain. Who knows who could have impregnated you at the time. You certainly knew how to make your rounds back then. I'm so glad to see you have upgraded to this dignified position."

I stood up to leave but not before hissing, "I'd fucking spit at you but I know that'd get you hard so... Fuck you! Goodbye. Don't follow me or I'll call the police. You're not the only one with bodyguards now."

Before I crossed the room to the door Bill cleared his throat. "If you leave this room I will have your job and I'll make sure the court knows about your profession when they ask me why you're unfit to have custody of our child. So I suggest you sit down."

Tears welled up in my eyes instantly. I clutched at my heart, unable to process the situation before me. Fuck. This was what I was always afraid of happening; the day my past reared its hideous head to condemn me for my poor choices.

"I don't do that anymore and I haven't since I left. Fuck you. Honestly... Fuck you. I have tried so fucking hard to recover from the wreckage and here you are after all these years trying to tell me what's what. Who the fuck do you think you are, Bill?"

"There are things we need to discuss so if you please, come back to the table and sit down with me." He ignored my lamentations again.

Defeated, I went back to sit down across from him. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat there scowling at him, hating him, wishing he would drop dead, wanting to bash his pretty face into the table or something.

"Thank you," he started. "Please, have a drink with me."

Rolling my eyes, I poured myself a small glass of champagne and sipped it meekly as I waited for him to say what he wanted to say to me. I watched when he pulled a pack of cigarettes and a chrome-plated lighter from his jacket pocket. He lit one and put his lighter away. I scowled at him even harder.

"I want you to come back with me. You and Ivany. I want you both to come back to the West Coast with me."

"No," I stated simply.

"She will have everything a child could ever need. The best schools, the best care available. She will have rooms to herself. She can take music lessons, dancing lessons... Whatever. Anything she wants she will have."

"We already have everything we need. I got her into a good school."

"A public school is not where a Skarsgård should be attending."

"Well, I'm sorry but you don't have any say when it comes to MY daughter. We are staying here. We have everything we need right here." I explained, drinking down the rest of the champagne before pouring myself another much-needed glass.

"So you think this little job of yours as a cocktail waitress is going to get you further than you are right now?" Bill asked.

I pressed my teeth together hard and balled my fists, doing everything I could not to lash out and flip the table. He had this miraculous way of crushing someone beneath the sole of his designer shoe without even blinking.

"This job pays me well as I'm sure you have probably fucking noticed seeing as you flushed a shit-load of money down the toilet just to be sitting here. You think I don't make good enough money? Is that what you're really worried about? Because you didn't seem to care that much the night you e-mailed a hooker to come to do your laundry."

I tried to bring him down the way he had shot me down but Bill seemed undaunted by my venomous words. He simply sipped away at his champagne and puffed his cigarette, rarely taking his eyes off of me.

"Well look at you now, serving drinks instead of pussy. You certainly have come a long way." He pointed out, tapping the ash from his cigarette onto the serving tray.

"Bill..." I said, exhausted already by the exchange. "Why the fuck do you want us to come back with you? What purpose does it really serve you?"

He crushed out the cigarette and leaned forward as if he were going to tell me a secret. I watched him bite down on his bottom lip, taking his eyes off of me for just a moment before he relaxed back into his seat.

"I just want what's mine," He told me. "Don't you miss being mine?"

I shuddered almost violently. That nauseous feeling returned to my stomach and I felt a new wave of sweat break over my skin. A lump so hard and ruthless formed in my throat that I literally choked on my words when I tried to speak.

"This isn't fair. You can't just come out of nowhere and uproot me because you want to."

"I want you and our daughter to come live with me. Why is that wrong? I've spent so much time looking for you."

I shook my head, incapable of processing all that was happening. I couldn't believe I was sitting across a table from Bill Skarsgård, the man who had caused me to flee my past life. The turning point of myself as a person. The reason why I had dropped everything and ran.

Those big, nebulous eyes raked over me and set my heart to hammering. I could not believe I was staring at his face again. I could not believe the way he licked his lips and kept his gaze on me. I could not believe how stunning he looked in his designer suit with his longer hair and his thinner face. His cheekbones were sharp enough to light a match off of. He looked tired but refined. Five years had most definitely turned the rich boy into a wealthy man.

And I just felt the same. Looking at him, I felt exactly the same as I did when we had first met; nervous and put-off yet unable to tear my eyes from him.

"I suppose I really have no choice in this matter. If I refuse you, you'll just take me down in court anyway." I sighed.

"Worse. I will get joint custody of our daughter and I'll take her with me wherever I go. Hawaii, Mexico, Sweden... She will see the world and she will know a life full of opportunity. She will have all the things a little girl could possibly want. Then she will go home to you and she will see her Mother struggling to pay bills, disappearing at night to do God knows what. She will look at her things and she will pine for her horses, her new toys, her art studio, her beautiful bedroom. She won't want to stay with you after seeing what her Father can give to her."

Fat, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I shook like a leaf in a storm and felt like one too. Tiny, insignificant and helpless. Bill was a monster no matter how beautiful he was. The inside of him was black as tar.

"The choice is up to you. Come home with me and live in happiness or refuse me and watch what happens. I'll give you a little while to think about it. Just know that I will not be far."

I looked up at him, mascara most certainly running down my cheeks, eyes blazing with hatred.

"Try to run and I will rain Hellfire down upon you," Bill warned.

Everything I wanted to say was flying around my head like birds rattled in a cage. There were so many things I wanted to spit at him but nothing would come out. He had me mercilessly beaten without ever having laid a finger on me.

"You can go now. Take some time to think about it all. I'll make sure to tell your boss of how professional you were with me." Bill said, changing the tone of his voice. "I'll see you very soon, J."

Without a word I stood up and left, closing the door behind me and shielding my face from Serge as I walked by but he caught me anyway.

"J, is everything alright?" Serge asked.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Serge. It's all good. Trust me. I'm fine. I have to go."

I grabbed my purse from the back and left the club without telling anybody. I got in my car and sped off to home. Kiki had fallen asleep on the couch but I didn't bother to wake her. I ascended the stairs and opened Ivany's bedroom door. More tears fell from my eyes as I climbed into bed next to her and pulled her body as close to me as possible. I pressed kisses into her hair, waking her slightly.

"Mommy?" Her little voice cracked.

"Sh, baby. It's okay. Go back to sleep."

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leadkiss · 6 years

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disenchantment prompts: season one

[+] — feel free to adjust wording, pronouns, etc.

1x01: “A PRINCESS, AN ELF AND A DEMON WALK INTO A BAR”

“I’m actually hoping for death. Thanks, though!" "I thought that I’d get married for true love or because I was wasted." "First off, not a ghost. Ghosts are losers that got murdered. I’m a demon." "Your whining really turns me on." "I wanna taste something other than sweetness." "I’d rather die a big death than live a small life." "You know that little voice in your head that tells you to do the right thing? I’m the guy yelling over it." "I never said I’m your friend." "Well, I like war, but I wouldn’t say I love it." "Times when you really shouldn’t are exactly when you really should." "I was raised by a pack of drinking buddies and I came out perfect." "I’m not here to answer cat questions." "I’ve never had a nightmare. Is this one?" "Cool night air, sky full of stars. This sucks. How much further?" "Hey, he’s making fun of my dreams! That’s what friends do!" "You can sleep down by my feet. I call it the friend zone." "Pardon my language, but destiny is baloney!”

1x02: “FOR WHOM THE PIG OINKS”

“You don’t scare me. I was born scared!” “Your cruddy life is worth living! And so is mine, if you live.” “I know. It felt weird when I said it.” “I don’t see anyone else storming your castle, princess.” “Uh, you know what? I’m just not comfortable with murder.” “Selfish? Maybe. But cruel? Eh, also maybe.” “I must admit, the quantity blood exceeded my expectations.” “That’s not fair! You’re playing to your strengths and not mine!”

1x03: “THE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS”

“What a naughty night we had.” “May I interest you in a joy ride?” “Get ready. Next week, we’re going to try arson.” “You know they prey on the weak in prison? At least, I intend to.” “I’m kinda scared to try this. Will you peer pressure me?” “That is the most fun I’ve ever had without remembering a single moment of it.” “Trust me! I haven’t led you astray in minutes.” “I guess I’m gonna do this, unless someone talks me out of it.” “If I spend any more time with my family they’re going to start asking me why I’m not married.” “This is not good for my hangover.” “Great, you’re gonna make me be the good guy? Ugh, I hate that.” “Like I said on our first date, nothing could be worse than this.”

1x04: “CASTLE PARTY MASSACRE”

“You doing anything weird in here I said “no” about?” “Just making murder plans with my cat.” “If I find so much as a misplaced hair when I come back, I’ll cut off your arm.” “Dude. Decide what you want, drink ‘til you have the nerve to go for it, then keep drinking so the inevitable rejection doesn’t hurt so bad.” “I didn’t know you were interesting.” “Let’s make this night so legendary they caution children about it.” “I’m gonna march up and say something I’ll have figured out by the time I get there.” “Nice! She drank her way out of depression like a pro.”

1x05: “FASTER, PRINCESS! KILL! KILL!”

“You have got to learn to read the room.” “How dare you bring logic into God’s house?” “You know, I would have left willingly!” “Sorry. I’m done threatening you.” “This ain’t about my impulse control.” “You’re a good-for-nothing, and you’re good at nothing.” “Just remember, this job is easier than it looks.” “Every time I turn my head away, something bad happens.” “I would not kiss me right now.” “If you’re gonna crawl back, can I ride you like a horse?” “Are you crazy or under a curse?” “I’m not sure I can do this. I’ve never killed anyone before. (Who wasn’t trying to kill me first. Or bother me. Or marry me.)” “This is a goddamn solemn occasion so shut the hell up, all right?” “What is wrong with you? It’s like you WANT me to cut your head off.” “Every time that girl gets a little responsibility somebody winds up alive.” “I suck. The only thing I’m good at is sitting on this rock and crying.” “I’m confused. Does he want to die?” “I like this, but as a friend.” “All right, the creepy laughter has to stop before we can have a real conversation.” “You did it. You finally killed someone intentionally. I’m so proud of you.”

1x06: “SWAMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE”

“It’s drunk and I’m late. We better sneak in quietly.” “Oh floor, you’re always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.” “I’d like to have a role to play in your life. I’m tired of feeling useless.” “You’re a great writer! I read your diary.” “I’ll bring you what you deserve.” “Hey, I’m an enabler. There’s a big difference.” “Just once can we go on a family vacation without having to run away screaming?” “I hope you can sense my sarcasm through your drunken haze.” “See, this is why I always tell you not to try things.”

1x07: “LOVE’S TENDER RAMPAGE”

“If you could be any mythical creature, what would it be?” “We should go home before we pass out in the street. Again.” “I haven’t lived long enough to give up on my dreams yet.” “I can’t believe he stuck to his story no matter how hard I laughed.” “Why would I do you any favors?” “Don’t try to be my friend.” “What are you coming to me for? We don’t got that kind of relationship.” “Make room on the dance floor, cause I’m full of shrimp and I need to lay down.” “What can I say? I’m attracted to people who are good at their job.” “None of this would’ve happened if you’d just told the truth!” “I lied because I was too insecure to admit I tried to kiss you.”

1x08: “THE LIMITS OF IMMORTALITY”

"Entertainment is just a tool that pacifies the masses and leads to the decay and ultimate collapse of civilization. Let's clap along!" "I prefer to stay safe the old fashioned way: running like a coward." "I'd rather die than listen to this." "Immortality is a curse. When life is endless, so is everything else." "What part of "no thanks" do you not understand?" "I didn't save you so much as you fell on me." "Unlike other villains, I shan't be telling you my plan. Good day." "I am all about the easy way." "Eh, I've beheld better." "Now the only pain is humiliation." "Forty-five years of necromancing have led me to this moment." "See you in hell, weirdo!" "You know, I'm profoundly lonely, but I think you should leave."

1x09: “TO THINE OWN ELF BE TRUE”

"Where is the monster I married?" "I'm not a god. I'm not even a healthy man." "We lost him, but cured his headache." "How can you keep messing up a recipe with two ingredients?" "Lying to me in any other way but flattery is a mortal crime!" "You know, I just realized something: You're the reason I have a drinking problem." "Nice typical reaction, Mr. Predictable." "I wish you the best of luck embarrassing some other kingdom." "I found him! Wait a minute. It's just three quarters of a dead raccoon." "You do realize you're still hitting me?" "Hey, hey, hey. Slow down, champ. Oh, god I'm turning into my bartender." "You're never gonna be whole until you figure out who you really are, and there's only one way to find the answer." "I can't go home! It'll wreck my image as a total badass." "I smell cocoa, caramel and conformity." "I owe you an apology. Relatively speaking, you're a badass." "It's times like this I wish I had 3,000 fists." "I'll be watching. And judging. And generalizing." "I've been meaning to—but the thing is, I—so you see—well, I'm glad we had this talk. How about you talk now?" "I'm down to my second to last emergency flask, so let's have a toast." "I was waiting to tell you until after I was dead, so I wouldn't have to tell you." "Hey! Nobody calls me [name] except my best friends, and my worst enemies." "Ah, screw team spirit." "It's okay. I always wanted to go out when I was still young and hot." "Oh, man. If this is sadness, I don't like it one bit." "Nothing you can do can fix this!" "I don't even think it's real. It’s just some myth in a book." "You lied to me and betrayed me! Get out!" "Well, hey, good thing is, I swiped the only thing he cares about." "That's gotta make you feel a little better, right?" "Sorry, it's just... you have snot, like, all over your face." "Just close your eyes and don't think too much."

1x10: “DREAMLAND FALLS”

"I had to choose you." "Thank you for your kind gasps." "They taught me the fine art of stabbing." "It's just too painful seeing the truth all the time." "I blame myself, cause I didn't even notice." "I'm much more embarrassed than I am aroused." "Ha! I foresee trouble in someone's future." "What a horrific day you've had. Let's have too much wine and forget about it all." "I can't believe I'm reduced to talking to you." "It's gonna be another long, lonely night." "How did you get like this?" "Pour a drink, light a cigar, and hand 'em both to me." "This is where I come to clear my head. Or to sleep it off." "It's almost like you were never away." "Can you steer my stumbles in the direction of the bed?" "I have to take action. I hate action!" "My clothes are really heavy. Can we have this conversation sitting down?" "I used to spend many nights up here, watching the stars, the moon, the neighbors." "The truth has been right under your nose the whole time." "You know, we could've just gone to marriage counseling." "I do know how to pick 'em, don't I?" "I should be the one killing everyone. I should be the one creeping everyone out." "It was the only way to get you to stop talking." "I guess the only bright side is, now I got nothing left to lose."

#rp memes #rp meme #rp prompts #rp prompt #i dunnit #bean memes.#&. that sounds like a gamble to me. ( memes )#&. prompts.#long post //#disenchantment prompts

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sad-girl-summer-blog · 5 years

Text

I caught feelings

When I was 15, I was expelled in my freshman year of high school. I’m 24 now by the way. On the same day, Elvin was expelled from the same school. Where I am from, you attend a meeting with the superintendent who makes the final decision on your expulsion and would then determine which school you will go to next. The superintendent confirmed that I would be expelled and sent me to this program that was a few hours per day, no homework allowed, provided a bus ride there and back, and had a small amount of students. Elvin looked familiar, like I had seen him around before, but I didn’t know him, despite going to the same high school and being expelled on the same day. We started at this program on the same day as well. For the majority of our time there, there was one other girl and then a couple other people who had short stays. Me, Elvin, and the other girl got close. We spent each week day there together, rode the bus together, and smoked together. Elvin would constantly hit on me, but I had a boyfriend at the time. He wasn’t the type to beat around the bush thought - he made it crystal clear that he wanted to fuck. My boyfriend saw messages Elvin sent me one weekend, asking me to come through. I remember that I blatantly said no to Elvin, but my boyfriend was still mad at me for that. The other girl that was in the program eventually dropped out of high school so she no longer needed to attend. Elvin and I were the only consistent students at that point. Eventually, our high school recognized our good behavior in the program and allowed us back in May of my freshman year. When we went back to the public school, there were some teachers that would not allow us back into their class. Conveniently, those classes that we couldn’t go back to were during the same period as each other’s. We were placed into a “resources” period where we worked on assignments from other classes, but honestly this was a period where you could chill and do whatever. By this time, I had broken up with my boyfriend, because he was abusive, and attending the public school again was miserable. I ended up getting accepted into a Charter school beginning Sophomore year. Before starting tenth grade, Elvin hit me up on AIM or Facebook that Summer. His friend’s family was on vacation and him and his boys were sneaking into their house while they were away. He basically asked me to come through have sex. At the time, I really just wanted to rebound off of my piece of shit ex so I said yes. Elvin met me halfway and we walked to his friends house. It was only five minutes from me. When we got to the friend’s house, they were keeping all the lights off so that the neighbors didn’t notice people were inside. Elvin took me into a bedroom and told me that he had never gone down on a girl before. If I remember correctly, I think I was little shocked because my ex had gone down on me so many times in the 8 months we were together. Looking back, I’m not sure why I was surprised. At that point, I was only sixteen and he was either sixteen or just turned seventeen, so we were still very young. He asked if he could go down on me for the first time. I gave him a warning - not have unrealistic expectations -pussy tastes like pussy, not flowers. Because he’d never given head, I asked him how many people he had sex with. When he said 6, I knew this boy was lying. If you ask somebody how many times they have done something, and they reply 6, they’re lying. Also, you had sex with 6 different people but never gave head? Come on. We might have been young but that’s just unlikely.

So I let him go down on me. It wasn’t bad for his first time, but I didn’t come. I gave him head for the foreplay too and his dick was so big that I could barely fit the tip in my mouth. Back when I would block his advances, he would tell me that I wouldn’t be able to handle his dick anyway, and I just brushed it off. I thought he was just saying that shit because he got rejected, but damn, he wasn’t lying. That night we had condom sex, in only missionary, and it fucking HURT! Not to mention that he kept banging my head against the headboard. He complained the entire time too that I was too tight and it was hurting him, but he finished quickly. I walked home after, feeling like I had just had the worst sex ever. To this day, I still feel like that. He hit me up a few weeks later and asked if we could fuck again, to which I said no.

Three years passed, and I didn’t have sex with anyone else. I was young and I wasn’t ready. I wish I never lost my virginity to that one ex, and I only had sex with Elvin because I was trying to deal with shit from that ex. After those three years, I met Samir, who I ended up in a real relationship with. After five years of being together, Samir and I can’t make our relationship work, and as of this year, 2019, I’m pretty sure it is really over. The fact that we fell out of love and can’t get it back, is one of the most disappointing things in my whole life.

Elvin and I have always remained cool and he started hitting me up this year. I love his personality now. There’s a lot about him that is the same, but he’s grown up now. I loved the way he texted me good morning or good night, the way he said he hopes I have a good or that hoped that I did, and he didn’t expect anything from me. We went from one or two messages to talking morning to night. I loved his vibe. His humor was similar to mine. It was dry and it was simple but it really made me laugh. I fucking love a chill, funny ass dude.

And then I got drunk at a bar one night. When I got home, I told him to come get me. We had sex twice that night. I guess I was just as inexperienced as him when we were sixteen because I could fit a lot more than the tip in my mouth this time. My vagina hurt for, like, two days after though. But anyway, we had sex twice that night and apparently he doesn’t like a lot of moaning, but what can I do? I was drunk and enjoying myself. I rubbed his back and we fell asleep. In the morning we had sex again. All three times were unprotected and he came inside me. We smoked, made a play, and he dropped me off at home. He asked if I wanted to come to the lake with him later, I told him to text me about it, and then I posted on Facebook that I was going out with my best friend Jen. I literally thought about him every day this past week since. I’ve caught fucking feelings and he couldn’t care less.

#diary #story #7/21/2019 #caught feelings

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suggestionstories · 5 years

Text

#24. Suggestion: Persnickety

Title: Apple Cider Vinegar

She was a blur of purple moving throughout the stark white kitchen.

Her shoes were a regal lavender closing her toes off from the tile. A deep shade bubbled in and out up her ankles and calves. A long light shade that looked like repurposed curtains flowed from her waist. Her jacket and blouse dueled in clashing shades of amethyst and jam. Her purse, spilling miscellaneous tissues, coins, receipts and empty tubes of Burt’s Bees Wax, was a handwoven mess of periwinkle and plum.

Marie contemplated her sister, her exact genetic copy, as Mona whirled around opening cabinets, picking up canisters of spice and examining boxes of tea.

“I’ve been making all of my clothes. Well, most of them. These shoes,” Mona looked down at her feet, “I traded for them with a young girl in my yoga class. They were probably made by some child in Asia, but I didn’t pay for them so I’m not responsible. Well, not really anyway. Do you have any green tea? Any apple cider vinegar? Turmeric? I’ve been making this health potion. It’s keeping me young and thin.”

Marie shook her head. Mona definitely looked thin. They’d always been exactly the same size, but now she was a good 20 pounds lighter. Young? With patches of stark white popping out from the magenta dye and deep lines on her face and hands, Mona looked a good 20 years older. Well, 15 at least.

“I’ll get some at the store later. How long are you in town for?”

____________________________________________________________________________

Later, they took the Volvo to Safeway.

“I suppose you don’t have too many health boutiques around here. My friend Stan opened one in Saugerties. He makes these detoxifying smoothies that make me feel 16 again.”

They walked through the health food aisle.

“Make sure you get the one with the ‘Mother” in it. Otherwise, it’s no good. The ‘Mother’ is what really cleanses your guts. You’re going to love it, Mar’.”

Marie put the jar of turmeric, three bottles of Apple Cider Vinegar (with the “Mother”), a pound of gourmet coffee, two boxes of green tea, a container of organic shea butter soap and two packages of Acai berries on her Visa. As they carried the packages back to the car, Mona took in the landscape.

“My goodness, it is such a shame what they’ve done to this area! Wasn’t that a forest over there? Does Lingley really need a Cheesecake Factory? I mean, I’ve never eaten in one, but I can’t imagine the cheesecake is good enough to make up for the homes lost by all those poor, innocent creatures. Oh well, I guess the squirrels and the deer will have to make two with a dumpster for their home. I hope they like GMO-laced garbage.”

Marie didn’t respond. She’d quite enjoyed the times she’d gone to the Cheesecake Factory. She’d shared a delightful crab and artichoke dip with a man from Manoa she’d met on Match just the week before.

___________________________________________________________________

Marie had wanted to watch American Idol. She’d really been enjoying Alejandro’s performances.

“Oh God, Mar’, really? That’s not music they make on that show. It’s plastic. Shiny plastic.. Junk, made for the illiterate masses. YOU are better than that.”

Marie would have to look up Alejandro’s performance later and figure out what number to text to vote for him.

Instead, they sat in the living room.

“Mar’, make me a G&T, will ya?”

Marie came in with a full pitcher and a bowl of sliced limes. They citrus smell hit her in the nose and took her back to the beach house they’d gone to every summer as kids. Mona, apparently, went to the same place.

“Do you remember how Mimi used to make them? It all seemed so elegant and grown up.”

The twins would wait until their mother, grandmother and aunts would drift off in a tipsy fog to the porch to listen to the ocean and gossip about cousins and neighbors. Then, they’d drink from the mostly empty glasses and pitchers. They’d get stone drunk, then hold hands, giggling as they snuck off to the beach hoping to meet boys.

“It’s good to see you, Mona,” Marie told her sister for the first time since her arrival.

___________________________________________________________

The mornings, at least, were mostly the same.

Marie would wake up, as she always had, at 5:45 am. Decades of being at school in time for the early arrival kids had made her incapable of sleeping past sunrise. No matter how long she’d been retired, no matter which time zones she visited, she always woke up very early.

Not Mona. She woke up between 10:30 and 1. She’d wander down to the kitchen and grumble for coffee. She wouldn’t speak in full sentences until she’d had at least half as cup. After a lot of caffeine and a small bite of food, the adventures would begin.

They drove out to an antique store in the country. Mona pointed out puffy red stools and burgundy rocking chairs and gaudy little faux-Buddha statues and urge her sister to buy them.

“You should get that and put it in the living room. It would add some DESPERATELY needed character. My goodness Marie, all of that white you have. It’s so… sterile. I feel like I’m back in the loony bin.”

Marie politely declined and suggested Mona buy it for herself. It would be a nice piece for her to bring back to Saugerties with her.

“I have everything I need there. YOU need some life in your house.”

________________________________________________________________________

Three weeks was a rather long time to have one’s life and space disrupted. Marie tried to stay light and positive. But she kept finding purple rings on her counters and her coffee tables. She found a pile of dried, discarded bags of green tea on the guest room desk while Mona did yoga in the backyard. She found splotches of maroon on the carpet in the living room, and in the den.

She ordered more bleach and carpet cleaner and furniture polish from Amazon Prime.

____________________________________________________________________

She spent the next morning thinking about how she could talk to Mona. She needed to find out what Mona was planning. Why was she here? Was she planning to stay? Was she just going to hang around until Marie forgot they hadn’t seen each other in five years, until she forgot that they weren’t roommates, until she forgot it wasn’t HER house?

If she was going to stay, there would HAVE to be changes. Mona would have to pick up after herself, and try not to make such a mess in the first place. And if she wanted her pricey organic foods and teas and spices and Apple Cider Vinegar, she’d have to chip in for groceries. And she’d, she’d, she’d….

Mona came downstairs, earlier than usual. She looked solemn.

“We need to talk.”

______________________________________________________________________

Needless to say, they didn’t talk about any of the things Marie thought they needed to talk about.

“I’ve been worried about you, and it turns out I was right to be.”

Marie started to protest.

“Wait, let me say what I need to say. I’ve been thinking a lot about us and why we’re the way we are. I think it’s partially my fault what happened to you.”

“What happened to me…”

“This… person you’ve become, Mar’. I mean look at yourself, look at your house. It’s so fucking tidy, so fucking clean, everything is in its place. I’ve been waiting for you to scream at me over the mess I make for a month, but you haven’t said a word. You’re so bottled up you can’t even stick up for your own anal-retentiveness.”

“Well, I was going to…”

“When? I’ve watched you sigh and tense up since the moment I got here. You think I’m so far off in Mona world that I don’t notice you? That I can’t still feel what you feel. Your aura is a hot mess.”

“That is rich coming from you, Mona. I... have my life together. Why are you even here? Did you get evicted? Are you coming to live here? Do you have any money in the bank? I, I… You’re the hot mess and you just want me to take care of you! Again!”

“That’s my point. That’s, exactly, my point, Mar’. That’s what I’m trying to get to. I was at this meditation retreat a couple of months ago and I had this very clear, very disturbing lucid dream. We were at mom’s funeral and I was looking at you. But you were so old. Even older than you are now. And you started shaking, like, really violently. And then you were a teenager again. And then you were a baby. And I picked you up and you looked right at me and you said to me ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.’”

“That is what I said to you when you….”

“I know. I was talking to my therapist about it later. When we were kids, we were both wild. Mom was wild too. Mimi and Aunt Sarah and Aunt Nancy. They were all wild women. We come from a legacy of wild women. Wild women who couldn’t be tamed. But when Mom died….”

Mona started crying a little. Marie felt a pit of fire in her stomach. She began obsessively swallowing to tamp it down.

“When Mom died, somebody was going to have to grow up quick. To get their shit together quick. It was like a race to self-destruct the fastest to avoid the responsibility. And I won.”

Marie was struggling to keep her breath under control. Mona was wiping her tears.

“When I… when I.. hurt myself, you had to grow up. You took care of me. You took care of the estate. You took care of everything. And you never stopped. You still haven’t stopped. When I left, you stopped taking care of me, but you’re still holding everything together. It’s like you’re furiously pulling a, a, a tarp around you, but there’s not anything else to hold in.”

Mona came across the room and took Marie into her arms. They’re faces were both sopping wet with tears and snot and history.

“So… that’s why I’m here.”

“Why… exactly?”

“To save you.”

“Save me, how?”

“Well, um, this was the best I could come up with.”

Mona produced a plastic baggy with about two heaping fistfulls of gnarly looking mushrooms.

___________________________________________________________________

The trip was surprisingly delightful. Marie had taken mushrooms as a teen and as a college student, but she certainly hadn’t touched them as an adult. They’d rented a cabin in the country for the night and wandered through trees and a lovely garden for hours.

Marie picked up a very large green leaf from the ground and stared at it.

“I think this leaf is our mother. Is that a terribly sad thing to say? It doesn’t feel sad.”

“No,” Mona agreed. It didn’t feel sad at all.

______________________________________________________________________

She’d pleaded with Mona to stay, at least another week, if not longer.

“I really have to get back. I’m afraid all of my gentleman friends will have new old ladies by now. I’ve got to reclaim my turf. Besides, I’ll be back soon. It’s been so wonderful to see you, Mar’.”

Marie watched her sister drive off. Then she went up to the guest room and collected a half a dozen cups of half-drunk Apple Cider Vinegar and turmeric tea. She took them down to the kitchen sink and left them to soak. Then she began carefully scrubbing purple stains out of her formerly pristine white countertops.

#fiction #shortstory #shortstories #twins #flashfiction #improvisedfiction

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letmeletmetrashyourlove · 6 years

Text

Indiana

Summary: One argument leads to another. Billy betrays his childhood sweetheart’s trust.

Authors Note: Written with the song Konstantine by Something Corporate in mind.

REQUESTS OPEN

PART TWO

I like song requests like this one, I can just kinda write as it comes to me instead of trying to go off a promt.

FEEDBACK ALWAYS APPRECIATED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DIDNT LIKE IT. I always strive to make my work better (seriously, you can roast me if you want to )

I swallowed my pride as I shoved my hands into my pockets. Billy and I argued when he told me he was moving to Indiana. I made accusations that it was because of him getting into trouble at school. A switch in him just flipped when he discovered his parent's split. He had never been a particularly sociable guy, always explicit and abrasive. But he diverted from carrying it inside to taking out on other people. I couldn’t even count on all my fingers how many quarrels he had gotten into at school in the past year. One kid bumped into him in the hallway and he lost it, knocking the poor boy to the ground and breaking his nose. It was some kind of blessing that the principal hadn't expelled him yet. Or maybe it was the fact that his father came in and berated the principal every time there was trouble. His new stepsister and I met only a handful of times. She was sweet, and honestly, hilarious. Billy didn’t see her in the same light that I did. He regarded her as a pest, somewhat to blame for the separation.

Despite all that happened, we were childhood friends that grew into something more. I always had his back, and he always had mine. Whether or not we stayed together, I needed to apologize for what I said.

I tiptoed up the steps, peering in through the window. There was Billy, on the couch with another girl. His pants were discarded, and she straddled his lap.

Everything we’d gone through together flashed through my mind as I neglected to avert my eyes.

I rang the doorbell, causing them both to jump. I presented myself in the window, throwing them the middle finger before taking off back towards my car. Yelling burst from inside the house until Billy stumbled out, still struggling to pull his jeans on over his legs.

“Y/N, wait!” He called.

“No.” I growled, whirling around to face him “No.”

I backed away from Billy as he approached me with his arms open. Neither of us knew what to say.

“Y/N.” He uttered, tears springing into his eyes.

“No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.” I repeated, my brain not able to come up with anything more substantial. I placed one hand over my mouth as the tears sprang out onto my cheeks.

“That wasn’t what you thought it was.” He insisted, reaching out for my hand.

“No! Don’t- Don’t fucking touch me.” I cried, swatting his hand away and turning on my heels, sprinting away from him.

“Y/N!?” He screamed after me, following me close behind.

My mind reeled, flying back to all those nights we had spent on my couch with him sobbing into my shoulder about his father beating him senseless. Cleaning him up after fights. Laughing while watching movies. Playing boring ass board games that always ended in us making out. Attempting to do group projects that always ended in us arguing. Falling asleep on each other after a long day. Our blissfully oblivious innocence had suddenly been ripped out from underneath me like a rug, sending me into a freefall.

Was any of that even real? Was he pulling the same shit on other girls? Was I not enough for him? Was I his first choice or was I further down the list?

He caught my wrist, pulling me back toward him. I pushed off his chest, trying not to show the tears that were streaming down my face.

“Let go of me!” I exclaimed, straining against his grip. He never once laid a hand on me in a way I wouldn’t want. He feared turning into his father, but that fear had either gone, or was buried deep under his emotional trauma.

“Please, please, don’t go.” He pleaded, “Please, you’re the love of my life.”

“Fuck you.” I spat through gritted teeth, yanking my wrist out of his grip as I pulled my keys from my bag and got into my car.

I laid on the horn as I threw the car into reverse, speeding off down the road. The headlights turned into starbursts as the tears flew from my eyes. I frantically wiped them away as I blew through at least one stop sign on the way home.

I couldn’t cry anymore. Exhaustion was beginning to sweep over me just as there was a knock at my door. I knew exactly who it was, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to ignore it. But my body moved without my mind’s permission, dragging me to the front door. I glanced through the frosted window, seeing the outline of a figure dressed in denim.

“Why are you even here? What else do you want from me?” I shouted at him through the door.

“I came here to ask you to go to Indiana with me!”

I yanked the door open, so hard I was afraid I would pull it right off its hinges. Go to Indiana? He can’t possibly expect me to drop everything and go with him. Especially not after tonight.

“Go to Indiana with you!? I just caught you about to fuck some other girl!” I screamed, tears that I thought were depleted returning to my eyes.

To be honest, before I saw him with her, I would have considered it. So what if I was 17, I could finish my senior year, go to Purdue and study god knows what. Do what our parents did, marry our high school sweethearts and start a life there. Sure, it seemed far off, but I could think that far ahead with him. He had been such a constant, I couldn’t imagine him not remaining in my life.

“I can’t go without you…” He admitted, rocking back and forth on his heels. He had yet to look me in the eyes.

“You know how much shit I put up with for you?” I snarled, “How many times I wanted to leave?”

I flashed back to some drunk asshole at a party who stumbled up to me and spilled his drink on my top. I was annoyed, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Billy, though, he thought differently. The next thing I knew the kid was pinned on the floor as Billy wailed on his face. The only reason he stopped was because the cops came.

“I know, I know-” He began.

I didn’t care to let him elaborate. Nothing he could say would make me change my mind. Nothing he could say could make me forgive him. And there damn well wasn’t a thing he could say to convince me to go with him.

“I thought maybe you being such a jackass was because of your dad. You were sweet to me, so what did it matter, right? It’s okay that you beat people up for the hell of it. It’s okay that you drink yourself into a coma a couple of times a week. Because you loved me, right? All I needed was somebody that loved me.” I scoffed, my tears of sadness turning into tears of anger. Not at him, but at myself for not realizing this would happen sooner or later.

“Loved, you? I still love you!” He asserted.

“Really? Love is sticking your dick in the first new thing that walks by?”

“Babe-”

“No. Don’t you fucking dare call me that, not right now.” I shrieked, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I thanked God that my parents were out of town.

“You got so mad at me when I told you about Indiana… You said you were done… I thought you meant we were done.” He defended, restlessly twisting his ring around his finger.

“You fucking tell me that I’m the love of your life, yet the second we break up, you’ve moved on with somebody else!?”

“It’s not like that!”

“No, of course, it’s not! It’s never ‘like that’” I sneered, “That’s totally not the go-to of every cheater on the fucking planet.”

“It wasn’t about her! I don’t give a damn about her!” He roared, “I thought we were done. I needed somebody to run to. I couldn’t fucking deal with losing you!”

“No. No. That’s not a good enough reason.” I argued, “You didn’t see me doing the same damn thing. Jesus Christ, Billy! We had this for years since we were kids. And you didn’t even take a second to mourn that.”

“Baby-”

“Leave,” I uttered.

“Please don’t do this.”

“You know, as bad as you just hurt me, you’re the only person I want to talk to right now.” I whimpered.

He dipped his head, avoiding my gaze as he brought his hands up to wipe his tears. His whole body was trembling, having to use all of his strength not to completely lose it.

“Please. Just go.” I begged.

“I’m sorry.”

10/15/84 4:36 am: I’m leaving tomorrow… Uh… the van is all packed up and we’re driving out there. You… won’t be able to call me for a few days… I know that…. You probably don’t want to talk to me anyway. But…. Just know…. I love you. Please… answer next time I call. I love you. I’ll… talk to you later. Or maybe I’ll talk to your answering machine later, who knows.

10/17/84: 4:22 pm: Hey… It’s me… again. We’re in Colorado. About halfway there. It’s beautiful here. The mountains are gorgeous. There’s snow, too. I know how much you love snow. Remember when we went skiing that one year, and I ate shit going down the hill? You laughed your ass off until you realized I was hurt. I wish you were here too. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a dick, you would be.

10/19/84 8:49 pm: Hey, Y/N. It would be nice to hear your voice. We just got into town… This place is a shithole. Everybody here is boring as hell. There isn’t a single girl here who even compares to you. I got assigned some book that I know you really like. I don’t see how, it’s the most boring thing I’ve ever read. Maybe you could tell me why you love it so much? Maybe you could call me back.

11/01/84 2:36 am: It’s me. I know I haven’t called in a while, but I’m drunk as hell. I just beat my keg record. Not that you would care, you always thought beer was disgusting. I thought things here might be looking up. But… Dad… He’s been… it’s gotten worse. I really need to talk to you.

It was maybe the dozenth message I had listened to over the past month. Each one sounded more desperate than the last.

One last time, I swallowed my pride, dialing my phone. I waited through the rings on the other end.

“What?” A gruff voice replied, blowing what I assume was a puff of smoke.

“Billy?” I asked.

He took a deep breath,

“Y/N?”

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove/reader #stranger things imagine #lidi writes

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blackeyedl · 6 years

Note

1-100 so 😏

okay soooo...

The meaning behind my url: the song black eyed by placebo was my favourite song for a reaaaally long time

A picture of me: will be posted later

How many tattoos i have and what they are: I have 7, a pawprint of my dog, a small heart, a vampire mouth, a small white moon, roses, a goatskull and a native american girl

Last time i cried and why: Thursday, I got the confirmation that I can study at an university

Piercings i have: I got both of my earlobes stretched, bridge, septum, medusa, both nipples and my bellybutton pierced

Favorite band: I don’t really have a favourite band because my taste in music changes really fast but I love Avenged Sevenfold, Beartooth and Heisskalt

Biggest turn offs: being a dick about someones body, not being honest, using someone just because you’re lonely

Top 5 (insert subject): my top 5 things are the smell of summerrain, watching the sundown, waking up with someone hugging me, the moments when you are with your friends and you laugh and you are just happy and forget about all the bad things that happened to you, eating. I really love eating.

Tattoos i want: I want peonies on my shoulders/chest, also on my upper leg/hip. a scorpio because it’s my zodiac, a raven bc it’s my favourite animal, something for my mom dad and brother, the pizzotti crew sign, a pizza, some adventure time things... I have a lot of plans but I also love doing wanna do’s

Biggest turn ons: kissing, teasing, heavy breathing, seeing that I turn somebody on

Age: 21

Ideas of a perfect date: eating pizza while watching the sundown

Life goal: having a job that makes me happy, finding my “real love” and adopting a dog with him, being covered in tattoos

Piercings i want: kinda want a nape piercing

Relationship status: I’m single

Favorite movie: the harry potter movies

A fact about my life: I’ve been single for 6 years now

Phobia: spiders scare the shit out of me, I’m afraid of the dark

Middle name: -

Height: 1,53m

Are you a virgin? yes

What’s your shoe size? 37

What’s your sexual orientation? bisexual, I’m a 2 on the kinsey scale

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? I smoke and sometimes drink

Someone you miss: I really miss my Michele

What’s one thing you regret? being so naive all the time

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: lily collins

Favorite ice cream? strawberry

One insecurity: my boobs

What my last text message says: “:D”

Have you ever taken a picture naked? yep

Have you ever painted your room? yes, I love painting and redecorating

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? not just once

Have you ever slept naked? yes

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? oh yes :D

Have you ever had a crush? all the time

Have you ever been dumped? yep

Have you ever stole money from a friend? I would never do that. If I need money I just ask

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? only if they were friends of my friends

Have you ever been in a fist fight? no

Have you ever snuck out of your house? not because I wasnt allowed to go out but because I didnt want to wake up my parents

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? thats the story of my life tbh

Have you ever been arrested? no

Have you ever made out with a stranger? could be, havent made out with anyone for a long time so I dont remember

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? sure

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? idk

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? nope

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? yes, and it was totally worth it

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yep

Have you ever seen someone die? no

Have you ever been on a plane? no

Have you ever kissed a picture? I think I kissed my posters when I was young :D

Have you ever slept in until 3? yepp

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now? not missing one person in particular but I miss having someone

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? I love doing that

Have you ever made a snow angel? yes

Have you ever played dress up? es

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? did that all the time when I was young

Have you ever been lonely? fuck yeah.

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? there was a time when I used to chat with someone all night because I thought that they were more important than a good amount of sleep... I fell asleep in school all the time

Have you ever been to a club? yes

Have you ever felt an earthquake? no

Have you ever touched a snake? no but I really want to

Have you ever ran a red light? yes but not on purpose

Have you ever been suspended from school? no

Have you ever had detention? no

Have you ever been in a car accident? a small one, someone hit my car while drivng backwarts

Have you ever hated the way you look? yes, I have been insecure about my whole body a long time

Have you ever witnessed a crime? yes

Have you ever pole danced? no but I want to

Have you ever been lost? I used to go for a walk in the woods for a long time, one day I wanted to walk an other way as usual and I wandered around for about 4 hours before I finally found the right way

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? no

Have you ever felt like dying? yes, not just once

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? all the time

Have you ever sang karaoke? I love that shit

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? “you wont fall for him again”..

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? when I was a kid

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? yes, we did not fuck

Have you ever kissed in the rain? idk

Have you ever sang in the shower? all the time

Have you ever made out in a park? yes

Have you ever dream that you married someone? no

Have you ever glued your hand to something? no but I put UHU glue on my fingertips and glued them together

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked? no

Have you ever been a cheerleader? nope

Have you ever sat on a roof top? no, I am afraid of heights but I want to

Have you ever brush your teeth? no I never do that.. what kind of question is that

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? I cant watch horror movies with ghosts or paranormal activities alone. I am paranoid after that

Have you ever played chicken? no

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yep

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? yeah, drunk guys on parties who want to fuck, and drunk girls that get emotional and really just want to spread love

Have you ever broken a bone? I dont think so

Have you ever been easily amused? yes.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yes

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? no. and nobody should do that

Have you ever cheated on a test? yes

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? I am really bad with names, I forget them all the time

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? didnt seem real as “I try to be someone else” yes

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. I dont really have secrets but one thing I havent told anyone lately is that I’m fucking lonely and I miss being touched

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ketchupversachee · 7 years

Text

i was tagged by the amazing @rileywrites-93

spotify, soundcloud or pandora?? i use spotify a lot so spotify

is your room messy or clean?? VERY VERY MESSY LIKE WOW

what color are your eyes?? like a paleish green with lil bit of blue

do you like your name?? why?? well i got it or my birthday and my parents like it and i like so yeah i do

what is your relationship status?? forever alone mentally dating fictional characters

describe your personality in three words or less: SARCASTIC, quiet, nerd

what color hair do you have?? dark brown

what kind of car do you drive?? color?? um it’s a black car

where do you shop?? walmart, hot topic, amazon, ebay target

how would you describe your style?? VERY FANDOM band tees LOTS OF BLACK BLACK BLACK

favorite social media account: does tumblr count?? oh and youtube

what size bed do you have?? it’s a full i think

any siblings?? i have a little sister and she’s my only friend that’s not on tumblr

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?? why?? ohhhh that’s a hard question, well i kinda wanna live in LA, but theres no snow in LA, but i don’t know

favorite snapchat filter?? i don’t have snapchat

favorite makeup brand(s) uhhhhhhh i don’t wear much makeup, the stuff i use is the “get the London look” stuff i don’t remember what it’s called at te moment

how many times a week do you shower?? 2-3

favorite tv show?? star trek, parks and recreation, the office, designated survivor, doctor who, sherlock

shoe size?? VERY SMALL

how tall are you?? 5′0

sandals or sneakers?? sneakers

do you go to the gym?? hhhaaaaaaaa funny. no but i know a guy named jim

describe your dream date?? stargazing by a fire and listening to music

how much money do you currently have in your wallet?? i don’t know, not much though

what color socks are you wearing?? well on the left foot it’s all yellow and the right foot is captain america

how many pillows do you sleep with?? 2

do you have a job?? what do you do?? i don’t have a job right at the moment, but i will probably have to get one soon

how many friends do you have?? i have a couple friend

whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?? ummm, i broke something once and didn’t tell my mom

what’s your favorite candle scent?? umm i think it’s called summer night??? or theres this one called illusion thats a good one

3 favorite boy names?? peter, steve, benjamin

3 favorite girl names?? parker, rey, florence

favorite actor?? HMMM I DON’T KNOW WHO DO YOU THINK

favorite actress?? scarlet johansion (is that how you spell her name??)

who is your celebrity crush?? THAT’S A LONG LIST WE DON’T WANNA GO THERE

favorite movie?? EITHER CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR OR SPIDERMAN HOMECOMING

do you read a lot?? what’s your favorite book?? ummm i do read, i just have troubles reading BUT I LOVE READING and i like the heros o olympus

money or brains?? BRAINS

do you have a nickname?? what is it?? umm it’s tena, it’s something only my family calls me

how many times have you been to the hospital?? like 2 times

top 10 favorite songs??

1: 5 seconds of summer wraps around your finger

2: all time low good times

3: my chemical romance sing

4: twenty one pilots truce

5: imagine dragons walking the wire

6: john meyer you’re gonna live forever in me

7:pink floyd time

8:dodie clark intertwined

9: captain america civil war soundtrack celestial bodies

10: alt-j let hand free

do you take medications everyday?? not at the moment no

what is your skin type?? (oily, dry, etc) oily af i hate it

what’s your biggest fear?? THE OCEAN, failure, moths, the dark

how many kids do you want?? maybe 4, i see myself with 2 boys and 2 girls

what’s your go to hair style?? a bun cause i don’t know how to hair

what type of house do you live?? (big, small etc) one i’m very lucky to have

who’s your role model?? PETER PARKER, STEVE ROGERS, MARKIPLIER JACKSEPTICEYE CRANKGAMEPLAYS

what was the last compliment you received?? ummmm, somebody told me they liked my converse

what was the last text you sent?? how’s school going??

how old were you when you found/figured santa wasn’t real?? WAIT WHAT SANTA ISN’T REAL, HOW DARE YOU RUIN THE MAGIC (i think i was 11 or 12)

what is your dream car?? camero

opinion on smoking?? IT’S BAD FOR YOU AND I DON’T SEE WHY PEOPLE DO IT

do you go to college?? nope, i’m trying to survive high school

what is your dream job?? I REALLY WANNA BE AN AVENGER OR A YOUTUBER (and yes i know, the avengers are fictional bUT I DON’T CARE)

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?? RURAL

do you take shampoo and conditioner from hotels?? sometimes

do you have freckles?? YEP

do you smile for pictures?? usually

how many pictures do you have in your phone?? i don’t have a phone

have you ever peed in the woods?? yep, got it on my pants fun fun

do you still watch cartoons?? H TO THE E TO THE L L YEAH

do you prefer chicken nuggets rom mcdonalds or wendy’s?? mcdonalds

favorite dipping sauce?? KETCHUP

what do you wear to bed?? depends on the weather if it’s hot tank top and shorts it’s cold hoodie and shorts

have you ever won a spelling bee?? bees can spell?? and you can win them what THIS IS NEW INFORMATION (no)

what are your hobbies?? does getting on tumblr and youtube count?? piano, drawing, editing vids

can you draw?? kinda, it depends what i’m drawing

can you play an instrument?? i can play ze piano

what’s the last concert you saw?? i’ve never been to one

tea or coffee?? i’ve never had coffee before so tea

starbucks or dunkin donuts?? i’ve never been to starbucks so dunkin donuts

do you want to get married?? yeah, sure one day

what is your crush first and last initial?? p p

are you going to change your last name when you get married?? maybe??

what color looks best on you?? either black or blue

do you miss anyone right now?? yeah

do you sleep with the door open of closed?? open cause i like to live life on the edge

do you believe in ghost?? yup

what’s your biggest pet peeve?? PEOPLE CHEWING ICE CREAM LIKE WHAT, AND PEOPLE WHO CHEW LOUDLY

last person you called?? i think it was my grandma

favorite ice cream flavor?? vanilla

regular oreos of golden oreos?? i don’t like oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?? rainbow

what shirt are you wearing?? a marvel shirt

what is your phone background?? i don’t have a phone

are you outgoing or shy?? VERY SHY

do you like it when people play with your hair?? depends, sometimes

do you like your neighbors?? only one, everyone else no

do you wash your face?? not usually

have you ever been high?? NO

have you ever been drunk?? NO

last thing you ate?? red doritos

favorite lyric right now??

“who cares if one more light goes out in the sky of a million lights, it flickers, flickers. who cares when someones time runs out if a moment is all we are, or quicker, quicker who cares if one more light goes out well i do”

linkin park one more light

summer or winter?? WINTER IS THE BEST

day or night?? NIGHT CAUSE STARS

dark, milk or white chocolate?? milk

favorite month?? either october or december cause i love me some halloween but also some christmas

what is your zodiac sign?? libra

who’s the last person you cried in front of?? my sister cause i brook down

tag dah peps yo @hesitant-poison @killjoywithapen13 @thnksfrbuckybarnes @barnes-and-noble-girl @smol-lil-kitten-loves-mikey @princessebitchface98

YOU DON’T HAVE TO IF YOU DON’T WANT TO

#SORRY IF YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TAGGED #I GOTS THE TAGGED

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wellmeaningshutin · 7 years

Text

Short Story #114: Maternal Instinct.

Written: 5/28/2017 A Week Under the Influence

It wasn’t clear how long it had taken for the whole ordeal to be over, it could have been a matter of minutes or a matter of days, but the important thing was that it had finally passed, her children were finally dead. This wasn’t what she wanted, if she could have had her way she would have full custody and wouldn’t have to worry, but if we’re speaking in hypotheticals then she also wouldn’t have an addiction to alcohol, or serious debt. Sure, she thought about taking her children to Mexico, maybe Canada since they were about the same distance away from both borders, but she could have been caught before she even reached those places, and what quality of life would they have if they made it? She hardly had enough money as it was, and it would cost her a good amount just to reach the destination, so by the time she ended up in the neighboring country she would be broke, without a job, wouldn’t know a single person there, wouldn’t even speak the language, especially if she ended up in Quebec. Then what? What sort of life would that be for her children? And if that wasn’t an option, what else was she supposed to do? If her children ended up with their biological father, they would never have a chance of having a happy life, they would become fucked up for all eternity, so she decided to keep her kids pure, innocent, happy. Great intentions didn’t lead to a great execution, and she was horrified by the effects the drain cleaner had on her poor kids. It seemed simple enough, it seemed like they would only feel sick and then die of fever like symptoms, but that’s only because she acted on impulse, and confused the effects of cleaning products with a poison that she had seen on television. However, she was right when she decided that it would be better to be drunk for the event, but she was only lying to herself when she said that it was the only reason that she was getting drunk, mainly because she had already polished off a bottle of white wine only several hours before, and was still feeling the effects. Lies were unimportant now anyways, because she knew that it was almost her turn to pass. If she continued to go on living, then she would have to do so in prison. She would get the death sentence, would have to deal with the public harassment and dehumanization, the awful television movies that would be inspired by her crime, but the worst part would have to be that she would see her ex-husband play the role of the loving father, the good guy, the real victim. On top of all of that, she would have to detox, and would have to deal with the awful feelings, physical and mental, that would surface, it was a zero sum game. The only reason that she didn’t die with her children, after they stuffed themselves with pizza and ice cream, was because she had to make sure that they were all dead. If one of them survived, she had to make sure that she would put them down, which is the reason that she had a hammer in her lap during the dinner. It was crude, but she was drunk, and it was arguably more humane than what the drain cleaner had done to them, even the aftermath was incredibly upsetting. Coated with blood and thick chunks of stomach lining, the table itself seemed to be worse for her to look at than her own kids, who only looked like they had fallen asleep at the table. However, she wouldn’t have to look at the ghoulish scene any longer, because it was finally her time to depart. She wasn’t sure if there was an after life, or what it would be like, but she figured that even if it was just the glittery void that she had known before birth, it would be better than being conscious. So, she raised her cup, filled with drain cleaner, as a sort of toast for her children, but before she was able to drink she heard a noise, it was her phone. Due to intoxication, she decided to put her cup down and answered the phone, hoping for one moment of brutal honesty, one that she believed that she could never afford when she was live, but constantly indulged in during her black outs. “He-hello?”, was said cautiously, she forgot to check to see who was calling. “Janet? Hello?” “Hey mom, wha-hows it going?” Her mother was too sweet, she couldn’t bear to go off on the woman, and she wasn’t even sure what she could complain about. Paying for lawyers in the divorce, helping to get full custody, helping babysit, or just driving, when was too drunk, her mother did too much for her, and was the only person who she truly felt bad for, since the woman would fall apart after the loss. “Why, I’m nearby. Do you remember Gladys? I was just at her house, and she made so much food for me, we couldn’t even eat it all. It was a lot. She told me that I should take it home for myself, because she had made it for me and me only, but I could never eat that much. It will go bad before I can even take a couple bites of it.” “Wait, who is-” “Gladys, Gladys, you know.” “Saying her name isn’t going to help me remember, you have to-you really gotta you know, explain all of these thing mom. I’m not- I can’t read your mind.” “She’s my lover, or whatever is closest to that. What do the kids call it these days? What’s the word for somebody who cooks you food, and you have sex with, without being mutually exclusive.” “Okay, woah, okay that may be too much to-” “It’s 2017, and you’re upset that I’m-” “No, I just don’t want to, whatever, so you-” “I’m almost there, I’ll be there in a couple minutes, bye!” Click. Out of a mix of intoxication and mortification, she stared straight ahead and felt an overwhelming sense of dread, stronger than what she felt while she watched her kids as they were about to take their last drinks. There was no way that she could take an early exit now, her mother had a house key and could walk in on her as it was happening, could see blood come out of from her eyes, nose, mouth, as she spasmed and the cleaner liquefied and tore apart her insides. Janet knew for a fact that no parent could bear to see their child go through that, and she knew that it would look worse with the scene around the table. So, she had to think fast. She realized that she still had the hammer in her lap, she could just try to bash her own brains in, but who knew if that would be effective enough, and that required too much precision from somebody who was three wine bottles deep. Then she had a better idea, which didn’t have any time for criticism, and she immediately got to it. First, she made sure to fold up the table cloth, blood, pizza, stomach lining, plates, drain cleaner, ice cream, all bunched up in the inside. Then she took it out to the backyard and sort of just left it by the back door, knowing that disposal didn’t really matter. After accidentally knocking the screen door off of its hinges, and having to pull one of her arms out of it, she desperately tried to remember where the wash clothes were in the kitchen, and had emptied seven drawers before she found the one she was looking for. It was then time to lift up each of her children’s faces to wipe off any blood that may have remained on there, praying, before she lifted each head, that none of the blood would have started to turn to crust. Luckily it was fresh enough for that not to happen, but unfortunately her only daughter’s forehead had a large gash when her head slammed into the corner of the table. The doorbell rang. Not having any time, Janet grabbed a bowl that had fallen to the floor, and placed it on top of her daughter’s head. Before she could answer the door, it had already swung open, and she was face to face to face with the two images that she saw of her mother, who was apparently wearing her glasses. Normally the woman had trouble seeing anything, making it difficult for her to tell her grandchildren apart, or to read anything on her phone, making her rely on calls only, even though half of those calls were to the wrong people anyways. Janet had completely forgotten that the dear old interruption had to always wear her glasses when she drove, or else she would continue down the same road for hours, or constantly take right turns in a state of confusion, causing herself to drive in circles.Thinking as well as she possibly could, Janet snatched the woman’s glasses off of her face, and threw them a a nearby wall, or at least she tried to throw at the wall, but ended up sending them directly into the floor where they didn’t shatter, until Janet had another burst of inspiration and stepped on them. “What was that for?!” Her mother asked, audibly upset. “Uh, you know, I uh thought it was a- well- it made sense when I-” “Oh well”, shrugging, “I guess I should just be happy that you’re still able to walk.” It never once crossed Janet’s mind that her mother could be an enabler. “I’m going to go ahead and put this in your fridge if you don’t mind. Where are the children? I’d love to see them right now.” “Oh, kids, yeah they’re in the-”, pointing towards the kitchen, “right over there.” Careful to walk without stumbling, Janet followed behind her mother, hoping that the blind old broad wouldn’t be able to tell that the children looked horrifying. Fuck, she thought as the old woman took her time to move, what the fuck am I supposed to do if she finds out? Should I just hit her over the head with a hammer, make sure that she doesn’t even find out, so she could die without even knowing the horrors that are waiting for her? Should I let her hit me over the head with the hammer, just so that she can get some sense of revenge, and I can be comforted in my death? Or, why do I keep, why is the hammer my only option right now? Why not a knife or something? Should one of us stab each other, would that be better? Or could I just steal her car, and drive somewhere, so I’ll eventually crash into something? Or, wait, maybe I’m at invincible levels of being drunk, maybe survival is guaranteed. I have hands, maybe I could use my own hands. Doesn’t being drunk make me stronger, can I bend her spine in half, and- no, no this is getting off track. God damn she’s so slow. Maybe she’s slow because of the food that she’s carrying, maybe I should help her. No, no that requires too much effort, that’s too much for me right now. I won’t help her, but I’ll kill her, maybe, or she’ll kill me. Where’s that hammer at anyways? Wait, don’t I own a gun? Why didn’t I, god fucking- “Ohh, there you children are. Here, I’ll just put this right here on the table, and then I’m going to come and give each one of you a kiss.” Janet didn’t know if she should scream or intervene. She threw up instead, and the sound of it hitting the hardwood reminded her of when her children threw up on the table, blood, stomach lining and chunks everywhere, and it only made Janet retch even harder. Her mother heard her daughter get a ‘second wind’, which is what Janet called it when she retched, then no longer felt sick, allowing her to drink more. The Tupperware containers were placed onto the kitchen table, and the mother came to assist her inebriated daughter, who was happy to have bought some time. “Okay darling”, her mother said with a hand on her back, “when you get all of that out just lie down on the couch, get real nice and horizontal, then I’ll come over and bring you a glass of water. You don’t need to tire yourself out, I don’t need any help with the children.” After helping her daughter lay down, then leaning in, speaking in a whisper, “Have you talked to them about living with their father yet? It’s a real shame that they have to go live with that horrible, evil man, but you can’t just keep them in the dark about it.” Janet had no idea of how she was supposed to respond to the question, so she simply decided not to. “You have to prepare them for everything, you can’t just make them find out for themselves. I’ve read up on the subject, or, I’ve listened to audio books on the subject, and I think it would be best if we taught them all of the warning signs, so they would know when his behavior would become.. Well, inappropriate. We need to make sure that they won’t be afraid to talk to the authorities if something does happen, just so that he could lose them and I could get custody. They’d be safe with me, and it would be no problem at all.” “No, uh, mom I wouldn’t want you to go through all of the trouble. I wouldn’t want to put you, put you through that. You’re a good person, and I love you, but-” “But nothing, I’d love to have them. To be honest”, looking away from her daughter, “I’ve been lonely for quite some time. I’m not sure if all of these casual hookups are for me-” “Mom, please-” “Sure, I’m a little grateful of the freedom that I’ve had since your father passed, and if I didn’t have you, and the children, why, I’d wish that I never met the man. Women can do so many beautiful things, they know what they’re doing.” “No-” “With men its very selfish, but with women its. Wow, have you ever been with another woman before?” “Is this really the time to-” “I swear, its like a parade of orgasms, its like-” Putting her hands in her face, “Go talk to the, to the kids or whatever you came to do. I don’t want to deal with this right now, or ever. Just, go. Go away from me right now, let me get some, let me rest and relax.” “Alright dear.” As her mother got up to walk towards the dining room, Janet breathed a sigh of relief and was glad that she was able to have space to recover. However, when she heard, “My, you children are awfully quiet tonight”, a sense of panic spread through her body, and got her off of the couch, even if it did almost make her retch again. “Now say hello, don’t be shy.” Janet clumsily slunk into the entrance of the dining room, and said, in her best child voice, “Hello grandma”. At first she was panicked and worried about it being obviously fake, about her mother catching on, but when the words came out it turned out that she was drunk enough to pull the voice off. “Now”, her mother said in a stage whisper, “what’d I tell you about calling me grandma? That’s only for when Janet is around, call me mom.” Again in that childish voice, “Hello mom.” Janet stared at the back of her mother’s head, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Then her gaze traveled over to the table, where the remains of her children were sitting upright, were very pale, and she had to look down at her feet in order to not make any noises, but also to make sure that she kept her balance. “Kisses will have to wait, I have some important news for you kids. Now, like I promised you kids, my sweet angels, you’re finally going to get away from this house and that wretched woman. You’re going to have to live with your father for a little while, but he’s promised to give custody over to me just for a little bit, I don’t think he wants to see you kids. Oh my, that was the wrong thing to say wasn’t it? Its just that, the man isn’t right in the head, and, uh, well look on the bright side, you’re going to live with your mother very soon. Isn’t that exciting? No more terrible Janet.” “Yaaaay!” What the fuck. What the fuck. What a fucking, what the, how could she? “What if mom hears-” “Now, haven’t I told you to call me mom? I’m your mother, and if you forget that again you’ll go right to your room without any dinner or desert. You can starve while you think about the mistake you made. You wouldn’t want that now would you, Janet?” Is, is she talking to me, or.. Why did she look at Tabitha when she said that, is she just, just confused? She could be, could be, could be. “Grand- I mean, mom, my name is Tabitha.” “Now, don’t make me raise my voice right now. I’ve told you a hundred times, now. James, how many times have I told her?” “A hundred, mom.” “That’s right. You need to remember this or I’m going to lose my good mood: you’re name is Janet. That was the name of my sister who died, back when I was your age. She was a wonderful girl, so I made sure to give the name to my first born, to make sure that her spirit would live on. But my daughter is a rotten woman, who drinks and drinks” you fucking buy me wine, you talked me out of going to rehab, you constantly tell me that its fine, that, that, what the hell is going on “and never shows you kids any love, not like your mother does. So you will take her name instead, you will be the woman that my sister was meant to be.” “Okay mom.” “Now-” and at that moment, James, the oldest boy, had slumped forwards until his head slammed onto the table. This time, the old woman spoke loudly, almost shouting, “Oh my, James, are you alright?” Janet, the second Janet, stomped on the floor, alternating feet, to mimic the sounds of somebody walking, then said, “Did something happen mom?”, pretending as if she had just come into the room to see what the fuss was about. “Oh, nothing dear. James just seems to be a little tired, that’s all. We’ll let him sleep, its no problem. Go back and rest, take your time to recover. Do you need anything to drink? I could bring you some wine if you want, that will relaz you.” “I don’t know, I was thinking about cutting off for a while. You know, I’m-” “Oh, don’t do that! You have no reason to stop, its not like you have a problem or anything. So what if you get a little tipsy every now and then, just go out and live your life. Now, go lay down and I’ll bring that bottle to you. “ So, now that her mother was focusing on her, Janet had to stumble back into the living room to plop herself down onto the couch, while contain her anger and confusion. As she stared up at the ceiling, she could hear the woman talk, but the words weren’t clear at all, it was just muffled noise. How long has this been going on, why is this, how could- then, yelled from the kitchen, “Dear, I can’t seem to find any clean wine glasses, so you’ll have to make sure to drink from the bottle. Make sure to finish it though, or the whole thing will go bad overnight because of all of the bacteria.” When she was finished speaking, she had just walked into the living room and handed the bottle to Janet, who was actively trying not to break the bottle over the old woman’s face. You fucking, look what I did because, I wouldn’t even be in this situation if it wasn’t for, she then screamed in her head for some time. Janet had decided that she wouldn’t try to kill her mother, she would have to do something much, much worse. For a second, she thought about the hammer, but she couldn’t think of what she was supposed to do about that, and then she had her great idea, but she would have to act fast. As her mother was saying something inaudible to the cold and unresponsive children, Janet piped up, “Mother, could you take James up to his room? He seems to be tired, and I feel oh so, so so so bad for- I’ve kept them up and its a school night and-” “Alright dear, no problem, I was just about to do that anyways.” Then, as she walked into the room holding the dead kid, “My, he seems to be very cold, almost icy.” “Oh yeah, he, uh, he’s had a cold for a while. I guess I forgot to tell you that, but its no worry, just make sure to make sure that he’s bundled up in extra layers when he’s in bed.” “And”, smelling the air, “it seems as if he has soiled himself.” “Yeah that’s the, don’t you know what colds do? There’s no need to embarrass the poor boy, just make sure to clean him up and tuck him in, then I’ll be up in a while to kiss him goodnight, but, but not on the lips though. I wouldn’t want to catch the-” “Yes dear, I understand. I’ll be back down in a little while.” When her mother was up the stairs, Janet decided to get to work, and leapt off of the couch, knocked into the coffee table, and rolled over while it crashed into the floor. There was a faint hint of pain in her right side, but she ignored it, and her mother’s calls of concern, because she had work to do. Stumbling to her feet, then looking around for the wine bottle, Janet started to sweat, started to panic, she wasn’t sure if her plan would work, but there was no time to think about it, she would just have to believe that it would work, and that’s all that mattered, because if things fell through she would have no way of knowing, she would be turned off. She stood still for a second, and was able to spot the wine bottle, which was emptying itself onto the hardwood. She scooped it off of the floor, almost falling into the couch while doing so, then clumsily ran towards the kitchen, knocking over Tabitha and her chair as she passed through the dining room, causing there to be two separate thuds, and for the bowl to land on the floor, and roll into the kitchen alongside a disoriented, but determined, Janet. When she was inside of the kitchen, she made her way to the sink, where she emptied out the wine bottle, and when it was only half way empty, or what she believed to be half way empty, she tilted the neck up and looked around for the drain cleaner. Footsteps made their way down the staircase. Her mother was shouting something, but she couldn’t hear over the sound of her own heartbeat. Hands shaking, palms sweating, she surveyed the room until she found the bottle of cleaning supplies on the counter, next to a pizza box, and made sure to move carefully towards it. Her mother had entered the dining room, and was making some commotion about Tabitha, and Janet believed that her daughter could buy her some time. When she was by the pizza, she had to fight a drunken urge to start eating, to soak up the alcohol, and instead began to pour drain cleaner into the bottle, making sure to fill it all of the way. It was one of those rare moments of drunken clarity where she was able to focus solely on that one task, and nothing else, not even the idea of screwing it up, allowing her to perform her task perfectly. The bottle had been full. Her mother stepped into the room to find out what the hell was happening, shouting something about “the children, the children”. Janet looked her mother in the eye, and her mother looked at the fuzzy outline of her “rotten daughter”. “Dear, what’s going on?” She asked, trying, and failing, to keep her composure. “What’s wrong with the children? You didn’t let them drink any wine, did you? Please tell me that you weren’t passed out, that you even-” “Fuck you”, those were her last two words before she began to down the bottle. Do to muscle memory, experience, and skill, Janet was able to drink half of the contents before her mother swatted it out of her hands, believing that her daughter was just acting out in a drunken rage. However, when she knocked the bottle out of her daughter’s hands, some of the contents spilled onto the older woman, and she began to feel her skin burn. Then, before she could figure out what was happening, before she could even say anything, Janet stumbled towards her, grabbed her shoulders for balance, then started to retch blood onto the horrified older woman, who was confused not only by the blood, but due to the thick, black chunks that it seemed to contain. Janet’s nose began to bleed, she tried to speak but she emptied the contents of her stomach, and pieces of her stomach, onto the woman who was screaming in her face. Her legs buckled and she dropped to floor, clutching her stomach as she felt the intense and regrettable pain of her insides liquefying. She no longer wanted to speak, she wanted to scream even though she couldn’t, but her blood soaked mother was doing that for her anyways. Her eyes began to bleed, her consciousness began to fade. She wondered if this was the afterlife, if in the after life you only feel pain. In her last moments, she had completely forgotten about her plan, had forgotten what she was trying to do in the first place. The idea of trying to frame her rotten mother had never crossed her mind, she was just praying that her insides would stay solid, at least for a couple seconds.

#Free Write #Short Story #Writers on Tumblr #Family #Draino

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