Tumgik
#i am going to work for 45 min today. and i feel so bad i’m not even charging for it like.
loverofallthingssmart · 9 months
Text
this week is SOOO heavy i’m going to lose my mind
4 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
good morning! I slept almost 10 hours by accident which I know I shouldn’t do (too much sleep is bad for you!!) but I just love my bed so much 😩
I am nervous about today because I have to tell my boss I took the other job. I am making myself do it over zoom instead of email. I think she’ll be very understanding but on rare occasions she’ll sometimes have a slightly negative immediate reaction if something surprises her and then will come back a day later with a more even-keeled response. so I’m also preparing myself for that and will try not to take it personally if she’s a little upset with me at first. I think my plan is to tell her I’m accepting the other offer because we haven’t heard anything back from the foundation and I didn’t feel comfortable waiting longer, but if the foundation comes back with a yes I have some ideas for how it might still be workable, and then I can lay out those ideas if she seems receptive. the four options are:
I teach and advise in a part-time role (3-5pm daily plus the evening class) and oversee 1-2 graduate student assistants who will split the advising responsibilities with me. this would allow us to continue pursuing finding ways to make it a full-time program independent of foundation funding.
I teach and advise in a part-time role but instead of hiring assistants we just recruit a smaller cohort so I can handle the advising work (5-7 students max)
I stay on for a month or two in a part-time role to hire, train, and initially supervise a new coordinator for the year and then fade out
we disband the program as originally planned regardless of whether or not grant funding comes through
I have mapped out and practiced the talk lol. its going to be fine! I think I still have mild workplace PTSD from when I gave four weeks’ notice at that other job and they screamed at me in a conference room for 45 minutes while I cried. and then I sobbed in my car for 30 min and had to come back in and work the rest of the day. so fun. but this will be okayyyy it will be okay.
here’s what I’d like to get done with the day:
10-11 phone with hannah jane
11-12 shower, get ready, student emails
12-1 brainstorming notes + practice lol
1-2 MC mtg
2-3ish podcast brainstorming session
could do UPS/fedex dropoff
read L&D book for 40 min
read novel book for 40 min
story brainstorming for 30 min
8 notes · View notes
tahdashi · 1 year
Note
sayu this is not me asking u for study tips but how do u study like IM SO BAD AT IT, i get so distracted nd u seem so good at ur work </3
I AM ALSO BAD AT IT i swear. ask ollie what i texted him during my study session today.
BUT !! here’s what i do when i realllyyyy gotta get shit done:
- make a lil to do list that is actually manageable to get through (if i make it too long i stress out and i spend more time panicking lol)
- i ALWAYS get myself a drink to keep me going: hot water, tea, coffee (except i always crash hhhsjd). i like having a small treat to make it fun :)
- i like pomodoro a lot! so working for 25 min and giving myself 5 min breaks. i also do 45/10 sometimes.
- when i get bored of an assignment or class, i move on the another one asap while i’m still in the studying mood so i can optimize how much i get done
- my fav thing to do is to put on study w me videos in the background bc they make me feel less lonely hhhshs i also zoom my friends and we mute ourselves and hold ourselves accountable to a good study session
that’s all! i get distracted too, so that’s why i throw my phone across the room during that 25 min or 45 min working period. it’s the only way :,)
2 notes · View notes
tha1troy · 7 months
Text
Good Morning,
Today is Tuesday, September 26, 2023 at 9:25am. Here I am, just another day starting off at work, I have now been at work 7 days straight, 1 more to go.. I am feeling kinda tired and drained from working so much the past week, it’s not a bad thing, I love to work and you know I love money lol, but I would kinda like a little break. It gets more tiring just coming here every single day more than the work I have to do here.. The traffic in Las Vegas has been so bad lately, as they prepare for F1, MSG Sphere Opening, and the SuperBowl. Growing up in Vegas there was nothing as a kid, literally nothing. No sports, not many shows or anything for kids. But now it has changed so much, there is definitely a lot more to do.. It’s pretty cool to watch the world and the city grow and evolve but what it takes to get it all done like all this repaving and construction is annoying. It’s been taking me forever to get to and from work lately because of it.. Normally a 20 min drive has turned into a 40-45 min drive and having to take different routes.. But whatever. It is what it is. At least if I had a better car that I enjoyed and loved more I probably wouldn’t even care about sitting in traffic or driving a lot, but since that’s not the case anymore I hate driving and definitely hate sitting in traffic lol.. Anyways, yesterday at work I wrote another dope song, my lyrics are getting better & better.. I really love doing this music, it’s always been my love & passion ever since I was a kid. I’m definitely ready to start taking it to the next level & way more serious! I know I got this, it just sucks when you feel you don’t have any support or a team around you & like your doing everything on your own.. But these battles & struggles only are making me stronger, wiser, and believe me I’m going to get this done! I AM A STAR. IT IS MY TIME! 💫 Have an amazing day everybody. Let’s get this money, stay positive, and focus on the goals. LØVE
0 notes
baby-nejiten · 10 months
Text
This is a rant post please feel free to skip
I am sooooo overwhelmed my car broke down the day before I went out of town and I don’t have the money to fix it yet. My roommate is an absolute slob and I was gone for 4 days and when I came home my house was filled with flys and smelled so bad. My flight home got delayed so I didn’t get home until 12am and didn’t sleep until 12:30-12:45 and I had to wake up at 5:30 to get ready to take public transport to work so I can get there by 8. I start a new job soon and they wanted me to come in and sign my offer letter (I’m not even getting paid more I just needed to get away from my toxic boss who ended up getting fired anyways shortly after I put my notice in) so I had to take a bus 40mins from my current job to the new one and then 30 mins back home and instead of relaxing I’ve spent the whole time I’ve been home washing dishes and cleaning and to top it all off my roommate (who left at 4am today for their own trip) left the fucking fridge open (which they do often and I’ve asked them repeatedly to be more mindful) and now all my food has gone bad and I don’t have a car to go pick up more so I either have to spend money I can’t afford to spend on Ubers or take the bus back and forth from the grocery store. I hate living in unwalkable cities. Why is my grocery store 40 mins away walking distance.
Everything will be fine but I’m just stressed and upset that’s all.
0 notes
outofcontexturi · 1 year
Text
a young twenty something making sense of the world. it’s 20:20pm. how convenient. I’m about to go to the shops real quick a probably light one up and then get ready for bed. today has been a good day. Thankful I got the sleep i needed. My scenes went a lot better today. I don’t know why I was stressed last week (I do but yeah stress has been aborted). I gave a homeless man £10 but I didn’t know if the bruddah was lying to me or not so I feel bad cause I also need the money cause rent but then again anyone in the cold outside needs it more than me and if we’re keeping it real money comes and goes and I won’t have this shit forever. I mean, I can’t take it with me. I’ll be wealthy and once I am I won’t stop being wealthy ever but I won’t take every thing with me. I’m gonna leave this house in 6 mins. It’s 20:24pm. I’m thinking to go and get jelly. That might be the move tbh. If I get tired at 11pm that would be amazing. Fall sleep by 11:30, wake up at 7:45/8. Id be a happy guy. Tomorrow will be very very busy so I’m gonna need all the rest I can get. I also need to shower etc. so yeah. I’ve done some vocal tube work this evening. Happy for me. :) let’s get this jelly and bounce. I’ll talk to you later x
Love uri,
sign out time: 20:27pm
0 notes
jkstompers · 3 years
Text
passing notes | jjk
Tumblr media
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
summary: a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date. 
genre: classmates to lovers??!, established friendship, they go on a date <3, jk is so stressed out, !fancy restaurant warning!, jk is A GENTLEMAN!! but wbk, oc is a nerd but is BOLD AF!!
warnings: mature!! (18+!!), SMUT,...they make out, LOTS of built up tension is let out tonite!, fingering, praise kink, handjob, backseat action, semi-public sex?? very strong language, jk overuses the nickname ‘baby’
word count: 9k
author’s note: pt. 3 of seatmate!jk. WE’VE GOT SOME FILTH TODAY PPL!!!!!!! this is my first time releasing a piece of writing that has smut in it so pls!! let me know what u think!!! i’m open to criticism but i cry easily so… pls pls be nice (T▽T) LMAO!! i also completely made up the program for ocean scientists that oc talks about LMAO i just needed her to ramble for a bit hahahah
additional note: also pls imagine jungkook looking like this in class and then wearing this for their date. also if ur curious, this is what i imagined oc’s dress to look like :)
okay enjoy!! thank u ( ˘ ³˘)
Tumblr media
it was the end of the semester and of course, the only time jungkook would be running late to class was when he was finally going to ask you out on a date. so far, everything seems to be going against the idea. his alarm didn’t go off on time, the shower took way too long to warm up, and his car was low on gas. now he’s speed walking, almost running, to lecture to make sure that his seat next to you isn’t taken. 
he wants to make sure this goes perfectly. he spent the past two weeks stressing over the plans. asking for recommendations for nice restaurants in the city in almost every group chat he was in. his friend (the one with parents as ceo’s, eunwoo), helped him and got him a reservation at this one five star restaurant that jungkook’s never been to. eunwoo told him that it was the prettiest place he’s ever been to, said it would be perfect for a first date. 
jungkook specifically remembers you telling him that you’ve never gone on an actual dinner date. ice cream dates, movie theater dates, and amusement park dates were what you were used to. there was nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you’ve never experienced a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, that’s it. jungkook just wanted to be the first one to experience it with you. 
so when his morning starts off this shitty, he wonders if his plans are falling apart. he tries to keep a good, positive mindset, but he’s already so nervous and the universe seems to be telling him: don’t do it, she’ll reject you, you’re gonna look stupid in front of her. 
meanwhile, you’re early this lecture. it was the last class of the semester and you were hoping that you could get a nice conversation with jungkook in before it started. the two of you have gotten a lot closer since you last hung out. the chain of events starting with you apologizing for being so embarrassing, 
[12:44 pm] you: jungkook!!! oh my god i am so sorry for last night 😭
[12:45 pm] you: i don’t take alcohol very well 😖
[12:50 pm] jungkook: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
[12:50 pm] jungkook: no need to apologize! are u feeling sick? hungover? 
[12:52 pm] you: omg no not really
[12:52 pm] you: ur a great drinking buddy, i owe u one 🥺
[12:53 pm] jungkook: it’s alright cutie
[12:54 pm] jungkook: just happy ur feeling okay :) 
[12:56 pm] you: let me make it up to u 😭 i’ll buy us lunch one of these days? 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: ah no can do cutie 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: have to buy u dinner first 
the thought of the conversation makes you smile. that one conversation starting the domino effect of the two of you talking almost everyday for the past two weeks. you couldn’t help but expect jungkook to at least be here, but if he didn’t wanna come, then he didn’t have to. 
you sat in your seat, patiently waiting for the one next to you to be filled by him. the hall was starting to fill now and class was about to start. you look around one last time to see that jungkook is still nowhere to be seen, and that a familiar brown-haired guy was beginning to walk up to you. 
“hello, ___! is this seat taken?” taehyung smiles brightly, you look down at the seat next to you. your bag saving the spot for jungkook. maybe he skipped this lecture, since it was practically for nothing anyway, you’ve already taken the final and there was no other material to learn, it was more so to wrap things up and see if anyone still needed to understand something. 
your brain comes to a conclusion. you remove your bag and say, “no, go ahead,” to taehyung with a small smile on your face, one that hides the disappointment riddling your mind. 
it’s about five minutes after the professor starts talking when jungkook finally walks in. he looks up to try and find you as he walks up the steps of the auditorium. his eyes land on you and taehyung, chatting amongst yourselves. he can’t help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy, that’s his seat. even though there were no assigned seats, the place next to you was always his, that’s just how it was, and seeing someone else sitting there, especially taehyung, makes jungkook’s green monster pop out. 
you feel a presence step behind you while you were talking to taehyung, and before you know it, jungkook is sitting in the seat next to taehyung. “oh! good morning, jungkook!” you’re smiling to him. he doesn’t grant you one of his regular vocal responses, rather he gives you a tight-lipped grin before he leans back into his chair and focuses on whatever the professor was saying. 
maybe he was jealous. witnessing you and taehyung having a wonderful conversation, one that makes you smile and laugh like he does. you didn’t even notice him when he came up the stairs, only greeting him when he sat down. no, he was definitely jealous. 
you’re stealing glances his way, pretending to be interested in whatever taehyung is talking about. he’s wearing the most boyfriend-est outfit in the world. a white long sleeve with grey sweatpants, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. you’re unconsciously biting your lip as you stare at him, he’s just so cool. he’s not even doing much other than looking straight forward. but this angle lets you see his sharp jawline and his side profile perfectly. 
you felt bad, one hundred percent. you should have told taehyung that the seat was taken, because now he was talking your ear off and you didn’t mind it, but you wanted someone else to be talking your ear off and it was the guy sitting next to him. 
when taehyung changes his focus to your professor talking about a summer he had in paris. you steal another glance at jungkook. you catch him staring at you, your eyes meet. he doesn’t keep the connection, cutting it off by moving his head and looking straight ahead. his jaw clenches, arms coming over and across his chest. he seems angry, you pick up on the energy now. an idea pops in your head to try and make him feel better. reaching into your bag to find one of your index cards, writing a message on it. 
feeling okay? 
you scoot your chair back a bit, pretending to stretch as you tap jungkook’s shoulder. he turns his head to you, eyebrows raised. you hand him the paper. he stares at first, eyes flickering between you and the paper. reluctantly, he takes it, unfolding his crossed arms to receive the note. you scoot back into your seat and lean into the table, lowering your chin onto the desk. 
jungkook tries to hide his smile as he reads your little note. how could he ever stay mad at you? it wasn’t your fault he was late. so he replies, his black ink has a stark contrast against your green highlighter. he can already feel his bad mood brightening. 
yeah, didn’t save me a seat? :( 
this time he folds the note, handing it to taehyung and telling him to pass it to you. “really? you’re passing notes? we’re in college, jeon.” taehyung snickers as he slides the paper towards you. 
you let a small laugh, reading the note. taehyung’s scolding continues as you write your response on the index card. you changed your green highlighter out with a blue pen. 
i came super early :( waited 20 mins for u </3 but i didn’t think u were coming so i let taehyung sit here 
you send it back and watch jungkook’s somewhat straight face contort into a smile. there it is, the smile that you know and love. 
jungkook on the other hand could cry. you came early. you waited for him. god, had he royally fucked this up. he makes his mind up now. 
i’m sorry :( let me make it up to u? can i take you out on a date tonight? 
check: ◯  yes ◯ no 
jungkook keeps the paper for a good minute, reading the note over and over again, thinking about how childish this way of asking is. but at the same time, jungkook knows that if he talks to you about it after class, he’ll gloss over the words and never ask you. letting the reservation and plans he made weeks ago render themselves useless. it was now or never. 
so he fully sends it, tapping your shoulder and giving it to you directly. you open the note and scan the words, sending him the sweetest look he’s ever received in his life. he thinks that would be a yes. he hopes. you write something onto the card and pass it back to him, your hand grazing his for a second. 
⚫ yes :) ♡ ◯ no 
the rest of the class passes pretty quickly. not that you were paying any attention. jungkook had emailed you a link to a game that the two of you could play, a weird version of snakes. jungkook kept cheating, you swore it, but in all honesty, you knew you couldn’t compete when it came to jungkook and his computer games. a clap from the professor breaks your attention from your screen, “alright, that was the last class of anatomy 101!” he then goes on a two minute long speech thanking the entire class for their great work this past year. he ends his ment with, “good luck and make good decisions! have a fun summer!” 
you take your time packing your things, a little too long for someone that just has a laptop to put into their bag. taehyung says goodbye to the both of you and leaves first, the seat in between you both empty. now it was just the two of you. a small blush creeps onto your cheeks. you were well past your high school crush phase, but jungkook makes you feel so shy again. 
you try to hide it by speaking first, “so, a date?” 
he sends you that award winning smile that makes you swoon. “yeah, did you change your mind?” 
you shake your head. “is it casual? fancy? want me to wear a dress again?” you tease, finally pushing your computer into your bag and standing. 
jungkook gulps. you looked so pretty that night in a dress. “fancy,” he answers, “you can wear a dress if you want, pantsuits are cool too— whatever you want.” he finishes packing as well, standing next to you as you both begin to walk down the stairs. 
“okay then,” you smile. “what time should i be ready?” 
“i’ll come and pick you up at seven, is that okay?” he replies, hand in his pockets. you both make your way out of the room and start to move towards the parking lot. 
“sounds good,” you nod, approaching your car. jungkook walks you to your door, his eyes focused on your sweet smile and your eyes. if jungkook didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were leaning closer towards him. a small laugh leaves your throat. “see you later, kookie.” 
he sends you a smile, the nickname tugging at his heartstrings. the realization hits him after you’ve already driven away and he’s sitting in the driver seat of his car. an embarrassing blush covers his face, he takes a deep breath and laughs to himself. finally. a year of crushing and he’s finally asked you on a proper date. 
Tumblr media
jungkook is quite frankly, freaking the fuck out. he isn’t sure what to wear and his hair isn’t working with him. the long strands seemingly out to make his life a living hell when he tries to style it. one strand always looks out of place, or the way that it parts doesn’t sit right. he’s pacing his bathroom, debating if he should just shower again and take all the stupid fucking product out of his hair. 
he gives in after ten minutes of deliberation. a quick shower removing all the wax and gel from his hair. the ends of his hair dripping when he goes to check his phone, the time reading: 6:45. he was gonna be late to pick you up. now he’s full on panicking. he has no other choice then to skip the hair product all together and just let his hair dry and part on it’s own. he slides on his all black fancy outfit he had planned out just in case the first one didn’t work out. he steps out of his apartment after grabbing his car keys, wallet, and the flowers he bought earlier in the day for you. 
a friend of his works in a flower shop. jungkook remembers you saying  that you like all flowers and that you couldn’t choose if you had to. so his friend asked what you were like, trying to figure out a way to style the bouquet without knowing your favorites. jungkook said the general things; you’re sweet like an apple, probably sweeter, like candy. you’re so pretty, it’s blessing that he’s able to lay his eyes upon you. you’re smart, too smart for him to flirt stupidly like he always does, ‘cause you outsmart him and flirt with him back in a wittier way. you’re— that was enough information, his friend told him he was babbling again. jungkook only had to wait ten minutes for his friend to finish fixing up a beautiful bouquet for you. 
the bouquet is placed on the passenger seat as he starts his car, texting you when he realizes it’s almost five minutes until 7. 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: fuck 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: i’m gonna be a little late
[6:55 pm] jungkook: i swear i’m not standing u up
[6:55 pm] jungkook: ok i’m putting my phone down to drive to u now, sorry cutie!! 
[6:57 pm] you: ah okay! 
[6:57 pm] you: i was getting a little worried haha
[6:58 pm] you: see u in a bit <3
jungkook drives safely, but efficiently to your apartment. the drive only taking about five minutes because the stop lights were gracing him with green lights his entire way to you. he parks right in front, grabbing the flowers and hopping out of the car. when he knocks on your door, he starts to feel his nerves work against him. the adrenaline from rushing here gave him enough energy to hype himself up, but now as he’s standing here at your door, waiting for you to answer, his throat starts to dry and his hands start to sweat. 
the metal door slides open, revealing you. in your silk dress, draping over your body in the most flattering way. the neckline deliciously hangs down to reveal your cleavage ever so slightly and the slit on the dress, displaying your thigh teasingly. jungkook is speechless at his first glance at you. his eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open, catching himself drooling once you step out from your apartment. 
“h— hi, you look— wow,” he stumbles over his words, taking a step back to admire you once again. “you’re fucking stunning.”  
you brush your hair back behind your ear, your hand covering the blush covering your cheeks. “thank you, you look very handsome, jungkook.” you reach out and play with his black tie. he looks down when you do, remembering that he was holding a bouquet of flowers for you. 
he holds them out, “these are for you.” like a kid giving his crush a dandelion he picked from the grass. 
“these are gorgeous, jungkook! thank you.” you look up to him with your signature sweet eyes, the ones that never fail to make him melt. “just give me one sec, i’ll put these down and then we can go?” you ask, holding onto the bouquet and waiting for him to respond. a quick nod is all you need to open your door and place them in the fridge. you come out a few seconds later, locking your door and standing by jungkook again. 
“that was fast,” he comments. he holds his arm out for you to hold, which you gratefully take. 
“i just put them in the fridge, my grandma showed me the trick, it helps them live a little longer,” you explain. the two of you walking out to his parked car. he never lets your hand touch the handle, always opening the door for you. 
“when they die, i’ll just buy you new ones.” closing the door for you and making his way to the drivers seat. 
you scrunch your nose. when he comes back and joins you in the car, you voice your worry. “it’s kind of a waste, don’t you think?” 
he shakes his head, “if it’s for you, nothing’s a waste.” 
jungkook was a professional with his words. always rendering you speechless. 
with that he starts the car and begins driving into the busier part of seoul. he makes his way into the restaurants parking garage, the building looks to be about five stories. the architecture itself looks expensive, you wonder where jungkook is taking you tonight. he parks the car, turning off the engine, and moving to open the door for you. he takes your hand and you hold onto your dress, fixing it once you get out of the car. god, you’re so pretty. he was so nervous. 
“ready, my lady?” he smiles, his arm out for you to hold. 
it makes you laugh, a snort almost. “i’ve never seen you so proper, mr. jeon.” 
“only for you,” he winks. your heels click against the concrete floor as he leads the two of you into the building. the high ceilings and multiple chandeliers are what greet you first, the brightness of the place giving the sun something to rival. jungkook brings you over to the waiting area, telling you to wait for a minute as he checks you guys in. 
this was crazy to say the least. the last time you went on a date, it was to the movie theaters. you’ve never been in a place like this; a doorman greeting every guest as they walk in, checking in to eat, multi-story, etc. the more you look around, the cooler it is. “let’s go?” jungkook’s voice makes you turn your head. you stand, taking his hand. 
the two of you follow a man wearing a black and white suit, with a long tail jacket. he brings you to the elevators, holding the doors open for you both. you step in and he presses the fifth button, which was the top floor. you squeeze jungkook’s hand. he repeats the action, looking to you and silently asking if you were okay with the look in his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows. you nod, a smile on your face. 
with that the elevator doors open, the metal doors sliding apart to reveal a private terrace. only a couple tables on the entire floor. a few people sitting down and enjoying their dinners. beautiful greenery surrounding the perimeter, the night sky only making it prettier. your mouth is left agape, you’re stuck in the elevator, speechless. jungkook gently tugs you forward, following the suit man to the table. 
jungkook pulls your chair out for you. you could cry at the chivalry. you sit and he pushes the chair in, jungkook follows soon, sitting in the chair across from you. the man hands the two of you the menu and moves away from the table, standing back near to the elevator, waiting until you are both ready to order. 
“this is fucking crazy,” you whisper-shout. the terrace was lit by these bright fairy lights that were hidden in the plants and were above the tables as well. it looked like little fairies and fire flies were in the air, roaming around. 
“i know right!” jungkook looked as surprised as you were. “i asked my friends for some help and holy shit!” 
“they know you’re on a date with me right now?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. 
to this he furrows his eyebrows, “of course they do, i talk about you all the time—”but he stops himself from exposing himself any further. you can’t help but giggle. “i mean, i asked them to help me make this special, and here we are.” 
you swoon. he’s so sweet for planning all of this out and wanting to make you feel special. the two of you look through the menu, jungkook warns you not to look at the prices, telling you to get whatever you want because the price doesn’t matter. but of course, your eyes stray to the numbers, the meals costing a pretty penny for a simple spaghetti plate, the cheapest thing on there. you were craving pasta anyway, you didn’t mind. the two of you order and wait for the food to arrive. 
the city of seoul was just below you, not too high but high enough to turn people into smaller figures of themselves. the night lights look gorgeous from up here. the warm summer night only complimenting the gorgeous atmosphere. 
“the view is so pretty,” you gaze out into the city. the pretty colors from all the lights of the different stores and restaurants complementing each other so beautifully. 
jungkook was in awe, he knows that the city below you is gorgeous, but he can’t seem to get his eyes off of you. your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyes search through the streets. “yeah…” he agrees, “very beautiful.” he smiles, only looking at you. 
the food comes and you both dig in. the two of you enjoy some conversation with each other as you eat. the topic of growing up comes up, both of you explaining the occupations you wanted, and you said something that sparked curiosity in jungkook. “your childhood dream was to live in california?” he smiles, chewing on his steak. most of the time kids dream about going to the moon or finding atlantis, but you wanted to go to america? 
you nod, “sounds funny right? when i was a teen, i watched a lot of 90210.” 
“is that all though? you only wanted to go because of a tv show?” he asks. there’s something you’re hiding, and jungkook can see it in the way that you hide your smile. 
at first, you hesitate, but you open your mouth to speak, “well— there is— no, it’s embarrassing.” you shake your head, changing your mind and reverting your eyes down. staring at the plate of pasta in front of you. guys you talked to didn’t wanna hear about it, they thought what you were into was boring, embarrassing almost. a part of you feared that jungkook would feel the same. 
you feel his hand on your chin, tilting your head up. “i wanna hear about it.” his face telling you the truth, the sincerity in his eyes as he patiently waits for you to explain. 
“there’s this science program in california, they explore new ideas for researching the ocean, like trying to see what lurks in the deep blue, helping fix the rising oceans, everything-- oh my god, and they like go on field trips to different countries to see the coastlines and historical sites—” you cut yourself off when you realize that you’re talking at the speed of light. “i’m rambling.” you were terrified to see his reaction. 
but when your eyes finally meet jungkook’s, they’re full of light. and his smile is so big. “dude, that’s so dope!” he grins, “i didn’t know you were so into the ocean!” 
it was the bare minimum, being nice, but that was hard to find when it came to the majority of the male species. obviously, jungkook is above average, he only proves that the more time you spend with him. 
“oh, i love it! my parents would bring me to the beach and i would cry every time we would have to leave, aquariums too, and the fish section in the pet stores.” you gush, leaning into the table to tell jungkook more. he leans into his hand, resting his cheek against his fist as he listens to you spill your knowledge and love. 
he notes that the next date should be at the beach or an aquarium. it was a great time for him to learn this, especially since it was summer. the weather in favor of the cold ocean waves. jungkook swears he can listen to you talk until the end of time. your sweet voice can be the narration to his life, he’d never get sick of it. 
the food on both of your plates had been cleared, the conversation sizzling into a comfortable silence before the man came back to give you the bill. jungkook doesn’t let you see it, instead just sticking his card in the black folder thing, and giving it back to the fancy suit man. it wasn’t long before he came back, handing jungkook back his card and giving the both of you a lollipop with gold flakes encased inside. 
you gasp at the piece of candy, now that was ridiculous. you weren’t one to reject a lollipop though, gratefully taking the candy and popping it into your mouth. jungkook does the same. it tastes of blueberry. at this point he stands up, moving in front of you and holding his hand out to you. “let’s look around? i heard they have a cool museum on the second floor.” 
you take his hand, “i love museums!” the two of you make your way to the elevator, the man (he never told you his name) kept the door open for you both. he presses the second floor button when jungkook asks him for the museum. the elevator landing on the second floor, the doors slide open to show a completely empty art hall. this place shocking you every chance it gets. you didn’t think it could get better, but it did. 
when the two of you exit the elevator, the man leaves you to it, taking the elevator down and leaving you alone. your eyes scan the place, huge paintings on the walls, small paintings in collages, some sculptures on the floor, it felt like a pop-up museum. you both make your way down the enormous hallway, both sides of the room’s wall displaying works of art. you stop at one specific painting, the familiar work has you spewing random facts. “these are the lovers! i had to analyze this once,” you speak. the art displaying a couple kissing, both of their heads covered by a white sheet. “the real one is in australia, i think.” you laugh, tapping the lollipop against your lips. 
jungkook listens intently, but he doesn’t pay attention to the painting on the wall. everytime he does, his eyes always revert to you. the art doesn’t stand a chance against you in his book. you, yourself, were a piece of art, one that was rare in this world, one of a kind. 
he can’t seem to resist. taking your hand and raising it over your head, the way that they do in ballroom dancing. if a twirl was what he wanted, then so he got it. “beautiful,” he compliments, pulling you in close for a hug. the two of you swaying in the middle of the hall of this stupidly expensive restaurant. 
you look up to him, making full eye contact as the two of you lean on one foot to the other. probably looking like a lovesick couple, getting lost in the moment. which, you were. your eyes flicker from his eyes down to his lips, he seems to do the same thing. his hand moves to caress your face, the swaying ceased. now the two of you are centimeters apart, noses brushing against each other. if jungkook doesn’t kiss you now, he thinks he’ll combust. so when he feels you pushing forward, he does the same, meeting you in the middle. your lips connect. the kiss almost identical to the painting in front of you. 
jungkook swears he felt himself levitating. your lips are sweet, the blueberry flavor of the lollipop lingering on them. he’s had his fair share of kisses in his life. makeouts, pecks, cheek kisses, all types of kisses. but something about this one tells him that he’s in for it. he’ll never be able to get enough now that he’s gotten a taste. 
neither of you want to take it too far; swallowing each other's faces in a distinguished, five star restaurant’s museum didn’t seem very proper. so the two of you make your way out of the building, thanking everyone at the front desk, especially the man that helped you out today, and walking into the parking garage where jungkook’s car was. 
when you get to his car, he moves to open the passenger door for you but you stop him with a hand on his arm. you reach to open the back door handle and his eyes almost bulge out. everyone knows what happens in the backseat, and jungkook did not prepare himself for something like this. 
you look up at him with the most innocent eyes, but there’s something devious hidden in your smile when you ask, “do you wanna talk for a bit longer? in the backseat? it’s more comfortable than sitting in the front.” 
jungkook never took you for someone this bold. it’s either you didn’t know the meaning of the backseat (which was totally fine) or you knew very well, and had plans to devour jungkook (which was also totally fine).
he chickens out, his hands starting to sweat. “do you want to just go for a little walk or something?” it’s not like jungkook didn’t want anything to happen, it’s that he did. if he starts, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover from it. he walks a tightrope around you when it comes to his self control. one wrong move, and he’s terrified that he’ll fuck everything up. 
“oh, it’s just my feet kinda hurt from these heels.” you pout, lifting you foot up to show him the almost stiletto heel. 
his eyes widen. why didn’t he think of that? “oh— oh shit, i didn’t even— yeah, let’s sit.” he tugs on the door, letting you slide into the back seat. he follows, leaving a good amount of space between you both to make sure that there was nothing too suspicious going on. you hope your bold moves hide your nervousness, despite your confidence, jungkook’s unsure looks make you want to curl up into a ball. did he not want this? 
the air was different now. in the restaurant the two of you had been so carefree, slow dancing in the museum, and landing a sweet kiss on each other’s lips. but now, an uncomfortable silence tears at the two of you. your hesitance makes you speak, trying to see if a conversation would ease the tension in the air. “i had a lot of fun tonight, kookie, thank you.” 
it seems to comfort jungkook, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. with a small smile on his face he replies, “me too, i was really nervous you wouldn’t like the food.” 
“oh it was good! i’ll eat anything really, it’s just—“
“you didn’t like the place? was it too much—“
“no, jungkook, oh my god— i loved it, it was just really expensive, i still feel really bad about you paying for all of it,” you look to him seriously. “let me give you at least my half?” 
he shakes his head, “i asked you out on this date, it means i pay, don’t worry about the price.” 
you roll your eyes playfully, “big spender huh?”
a pretty laugh escapes his lips. “hard worker too.” 
to this you smile, you stare at his impossibly-perfect face, noticing a stray eyelash on his cheek. you see a chance to strike and you take it immediately. you lean forward to swipe it off. jungkook almost leans into your touch. he’s so terrified that he’ll embarrass himself right now, so he’s been holding back tremendously. but the way you pick the eyelash off and place it on your thumb with a smile on your face, it eases most of the tension in his chest. 
“make a wish!” you hold your thumb up to his lips. his eyes cross to look at the piece of hair on your finger, but nevertheless he obliged. shutting his eyes tight, making a wish, and blowing the eyelash off of your thumb. 
you let out a small cheer before you ask him, “what’d you wish for?” 
“if i told you then my wish wouldn’t come true, right?” he boops your nose. suddenly, jungkook doesn’t feel so nervous. his nerves calming at the feeling of your soft hands against his face. you make him so nervous, but at the same time you make him so comfortable and make him want to be himself. it seems as though the two of you were staring at each other for a while. jungkook was thinking about how much he likes you, the same ideas run through your mind. the thoughts make you wish for something more. 
“can i kiss you again, kookie?” 
he stares at you, weighing his options. if he kisses you now, then he has to strategically only give you a few kisses, he absolutely cannot make out with you, or else, jungkook will succumb to his desires.
but he takes a little too long to respond. the both of you overthinking the fuck out of the situation. it makes you draw back. “it’s okay if you don’t want—“ 
“no, no, please, kiss me,” he brings you back, moving closer to you. licking his lips in anticipation as you slowly push forward, closing the gap between you both. the kiss is so sweet, like the one in the museum. jungkook can still taste the blueberry lingering on your lips. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing you. 
you pull away first. your eyes scanning his face to see any expression of regret. there’s none. his hand moves to the side of your face, caressing your face and bringing you to him once again to meet your lips. he can’t get enough. “tell me what you wished for, please,” you speak against his lips. 
he smiles into the kiss. he wasn’t going to tell you, but since you were asking so nicely, he gives you a kiss on the cheek when he answers, “i wished for a second date.” 
“oh, didn’t you know?” you kiss both of his cheeks before speaking again, “i grant wishes,” with wink.
“fuck, you’re so cute,” he thinks out loud, it makes you blush. pink cheeks out for show and jungkook thinks you look even cuter. he dives in for one more kiss, telling himself this will be the last one, but when you make sweet noises against his lips, it has him wanting more. hands moving down to your waist, pulling you in and letting you climb onto his lap. he pulls away first, trying to get a hold of himself. “i uh— actually, didn’t plan for this to happen,“ he mumbles against your skin, tripping over his words. 
you look down, arms wrapped around his neck. “hm? what did you plan?” 
“we were supposed to kiss on the next date i take you on and i didn’t think— we’re just ahead of schedule, that’s all.” jungkook tries to explain that he didn’t want to rush it, god no. he wanted to take his time, make sure that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. but now, it seems like you’re taking the wheel and jungkook doesn’t mind it one bit.
“oh so you had like a real plan? like times and everything?” the thought of it makes you laugh, and the way that jungkook flushes makes you want to pinch his cheeks. 
he pouts when you giggle, “don’t laugh, i just really, really wanted to do it right, you’re just so amazing and i didn’t wanna fuck it up.”
you smile at his concern. the fact that you have the uni heartthrob planning dates in his head down to the details and wanting to be sure he does it right makes your head spin. you hope jungkook doesn’t notice the way that your heart is beating three times the normal rate when you go to kiss him again. the only sounds in the car are labored breaths and your lips smacking together. it doesn’t take long before you’re grinding into him. his growing bulge rubbing against your soaking core. a groan leaving him when you grind particularly harder, his hands moving to your ass to grip it. you melt in his arms, small whimpers leaving your throat as jungkook drinks them up
you pull away from his lips, giving his cheeks attention then leaving a trail of kisses as you make your way to his ear. one final kiss is planted below his earlobe before you whisper, “am i ruining your plans, kookie?” 
jungkook tries his best to conceal his groan, tries his best to ignore his incredibly hard dick in his jeans, but you’re so pretty and you’re on top of him, kissing him. it feels like a dream to jungkook. it is quite literally a dream come true. 
he was already playing with fire, your body a flame in the cold, he moves closer and closer until he burns. “fuck plans,” he breathes. a hand comes back to caress your face once again. filthy thoughts flooding his brain. he wonders what being in between your legs is like, what you sound like when you cum. he wants to make you cry and beg for his cock. but he holds himself back, knowing that you’ll have time to try everything out, if you wanted of course. he leans the both of you forward, his large hands splayed on your back to secure you on his lap. your lips find each other once more. “can i touch you?” he asks so sweetly, a hidden poison weaving through that you can slightly hear through the deep rumble of his voice. 
you’ve never wanted anything more. “please,” you nod. your lips chasing his when he pulls further away. 
jungkook smiles at the action. “lay on my lap, baby.” he instructs, tapping your thigh. the nickname rolling off his tongue, his voice seemingly dropping an entire octave. you raise your leg and move it over to sit on his lap, sideways. your back against the car door and his right hand rubbing your thighs ever so gently. 
“like this?” you ask, looking to him for reassurance. he looks to you with eyes that you’ve never seen, lusted and dark. 
“mhm, perfect,” he nods. “good girl.” the praise goes straight to your belly, your panties flooding from how much you want him. his hands move slowly down your inner thighs as he goes in to kiss you again. 
you’re absentmindedly spreading your legs, making room for him. he smirks against your lips when he realizes. he knows what you want, so his fingers move to your panties, lightly putting pressure over your clothed bud. you whimper at the feeling, biting his lip in the process. he moans in response, putting a little more pressure against your bundle of nerves. 
“jungkook,” you whine, pulling away from his lips, “please.” 
“please what, baby?” he kisses your cheek, “tell me what you want.”  
“please touch me, please.” you beg, making eye contact with him. jungkook’s dick twitches at the sound of your begging. he wanted to string you along a little longer, but you’re being so good. 
“since you asked so nicely, baby,” he obliges. bunching your dress up around your waist and noticing the pretty black lace underwear you were wearing, “for me?” he asks. you nod, your teeth taking in your bottom lip. he groans at the thought, you getting ready and picking out these cute, risque panties out just for him. it’s just too bad they’re gonna be on the floor on his car. he’s gonna need to ask for a rain check on admiring you and your cute underwear later.  
you lift your hips to help him, underwear coming off to reveal your soaking pussy. “oh, fuck,” jungkook murmurs at the sight of it. “you’re so wet baby.” he almost starts drooling, he can’t wait to taste you, but he’s still hesitant, only wanting to do what you want to. next time, he can eat you out. right now, he’ll admire the delicious sight and make you cum on his fingers. 
your eyes travel to the window directly in front of you, suddenly feeling insecure. thighs closing, thinking about how someone could look in and see. “what about the windows—“ 
“they’re tinted, no one can see from the outside in, i promise.” he reassures, giving you another sweet kiss on the cheek before asking, “do you still want to do this? we can stop now.” he’s so lovely, his concern and change in demeanor only making you want it more, knowing that he wouldn’t want to push you to do something you were uncomfortable with. sweet was sexy on jungkook. you never thought there would be a day that jeon jungkook fingers you in a parking lot of a five star restaurant, but here you are. and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
so you shake your head, taking his hand, and placing it back in between your legs. “please.” 
“anything for you.” he whispers in your ear before running his middle finger up your slit, collecting your wetness, and spreading it around your clit. he continues making tight circles on your clit, the sensation drives you crazy. you lean your head back against the window, moaning out. it was almost humiliating how reactive you were, you hadn’t indulged in this kind of intimacy in a while, almost a year to be specific. 
it wasn’t helping that jungkook was a fucking pro. the right amount of pressure and the placement of his digits against you has you dripping onto his nice, dress pants. you hoped nobody else was in the parking garage, else they would hear your cries of jungkook’s name. “more, kookie, more— fuck.” 
“more baby?” he questions, the sound of your moans going straight to his already hard dick. he thinks he could cum just to the sound of your voice. he’s one hundred percent fucked when it comes to you. he dips his middle finger into your hole, you gasp in reaction. “like that? hmm? ” 
jungkook knew was he was doing, he had you spread wide in the backseat of his car, already on the verge on an orgasm. he had a few years of experience on his belt, a ‘retired fuck boy’ he was, but he’s never wanted to please somebody more than he does right now with you. you just looked so pretty like this, so eager and begging for more. 
he adds his ring finger now, his thumb against your clit. “oh, god—“ you mutter, the feeling of his fingers and his thumb on your clit is too good. his fingers fucking you better than anyone else’s dick ever has. you found yourself bucking your hips against his fingers. “kookie, kiss me, please,” you look up to him with the eyes he can never fucking deny. so he kisses you, drinking up your moans as you fuck yourself up onto his fingers. 
“i didn’t know you were such a dirty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. your walls clenching around him, “letting me touch you like this in the backseat of my car?” his usual sweet demeanor now contorting into this cocky guy with an ego. it makes you even wetter. the squelch of your pussy every time his fingers push in is loud, the sound is music to jungkook’s ears. 
“only— only for you, jungkook,” you whimper.  you feel a familiar knot in your stomach tighten. he looked so hot like this. eager to please. his bottom lip caught in his teeth and a strand of his long hair dangling in front of his eyes. 
“good girl, all mine,” he kisses your neck. it may seem just like something you say during sex, but jungkook wanted it to be true. wanted you and only you. all to himself. he makes his way to a sweet spot, the feeling makes you tilt your head, giving him more access to kiss and suck along the sensitive skin. the discomfort of your back against the hard door was the last of your worries. your orgasm creeping closer and closer, juices leaking all overs his fingers. “so wet baby,” he growls, “i know i could just slide in, fuck you so good.” 
“p-please, i want it.” the thought of jungkook fucking you senseless, oh, you’d go crazy. begging wasn’t something you did when it came to sex, most of the time it was quiet, moans and breaths were the only things that you’d hear, no dirty words or praises. it was a good change, you never thought that you’d be so into being talked through it. 
he smiles at your eagerness, “patience baby, gotta take you on another date, yeah?” kissing your pursed lips. always so sweet and lovely. 
you feel his fingers push a little deeper, curling to find that sweet spot inside of you. your reaction does something to him, makes him hit the exact same spot, over and over again, in a slow, torturous beat just so he can draw those delicious gasps and moans out of you. jungkook feels close. he’s never felt like this before, so wound up. he ignores it, pushing it to the back of his head to focus on helping you reach your climax. 
lucky for jungkook, he didn’t have to wait very long. his fingers were longer and a thicker than yours, his efforts making you get there faster than you ever could. the consistent deep strokes of his fingers make the warning signals go off in your head. you speak a verbal warning before, “fuck, i’m gonna cum,” your voice pitches a little higher than usual. 
“gonna cum all over my fingers, baby?” he gives you one last sloppy kiss before you’re moaning out and coming onto his fingers, eyes screwed shut as your walls convulse rapidly as his fingers fuck you through your orgasm. “fuck, you’re so hot, ___.” 
you feel a smile break on your face. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you wink, still trying to catch your breath. a laugh slips from his mouth, small smirk on his mouth to match. he slips his fingers out, your body twitching at the over stimulation. 
 “i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes. inspecting his fingers, your pale almost-white cum coating the digits. he brings them to his mouth, sucking on your sweet sap. you’ve never seen anything hotter in your life. “sweet, just like you,” he smirks. you shrink in his stare, hiding your blush. like you totally didn’t just cum on his fingers. 
you’re distracted by the feeling of something hard resting under your thigh, it’s then that you realize, “what about—“ you start but jungkook cuts you off quick. 
“no, no, it’s okay, it’ll go away soon.” he shakes his head, but you furrow your eyebrows. 
you pull on his black tie, making him lean forward and make eye contact with you “can i?” you ask, so sweetly. 
he stares at you with the most sexed eyes you’ve ever witnessed. “you’re driving me crazy.” 
“you’re always so sweet to me, jungkook,” you kiss his cheek. readjusting yourself in his lap, straddling him once more. “took me on this amazing dinner, always treating me like a princess.” your lips travel down from his cheeks to his jawline, then to his neck. he shudders at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. your hands move from around his neck to travel further down, to the latch of his belt. his breath hitches. “let me return the favor, kookie.”
“i—“ he laughs, the embarrassment evident in the pink tint on his face. “i won’t last very long.” 
you didn’t mind, just assuring him with a sweet kiss on the cheek before you start removing his belt. jungkook leans his head back on the headrest, his neck exposed for you to kiss and suck. you unbutton and unzip, pulling his pants and his boxers down at the same time. his size makes your eyes bulge. he was huge. your mouth waters at the sight. 
“you’re so big, kook.” you egg him on, fueling his ego because he just looked so hot. your hand moves to hold him at the base, he lets out a shaky breath when your soft skin meets his. jungkook’s head is in the clouds, he could cum right now if he let go, but he’s holds himself back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of you. your hand moves up his dick, your thumb collecting the precum dripping from his hole, your thumb running over his slit as he groans. 
his hips buck up, “shit, baby.” he just sounds so good. you could just lick him up. you collect some saliva in your mouth, letting it drip from your mouth onto his dick to lube your hand. he groans at the sight, “you’re so filthy, baby, holy shit.” 
you smirk at the admission, the spit making it so easy for your hand to glide against his cock. the feeling makes him throw his head back again. his chest rising and falling.  the picture of him with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth agape makes your lower belly light up once more, you clench around nothing. leaning in as you pump his cock to whisper in his ear, “wanna fuck me so bad? have me crying on your cock? you want that, don’t you, kookie?” 
jungkook twitches at your words. that’s exactly what he wants. was he that easy to read? was that what you wanted too? the thought of it makes him want to explode, “oh— god, ffuck— fuck,” he sputters. his hand coming up to hover above his head, your hand still pumping as the spurts of his cum shoot out. you smile at the action, knowing he didn’t wanna fuck up your dress. instead just making a mess of him and his hand. he takes deep breaths before speaking, “there’s a little box of tissues in the center console, could you hand it to me, baby?” 
you lean back, opening the console and reaching for the small box that sits in the center. before you give it to him, your eyes flicker to the sticky mess all over jungkook’s hand and groin. a sudden urge to lick takes you over, holding jungkook’s hand and bringing it up to your mouth. you lick the dripping cum from the palm of his hand as he watches, maintaining eye contact the entire time. 
jungkook shivers, a smile creeping on his face, “you— you’re evil.” the remark makes you laugh. 
“sorry, just wanted to help clean up.” you smile, swallowing the cum you collected on your tongue. 
“yeah, yeah, you’re not the sweet girl i thought you were,” jungkook quirks a brow. 
you roll your eyes playfully, “you don’t like it?” 
“nope, i love it, you’re perfect.” jungkook wipes off the remaining mess from his lap and his hand. you help him clean up tissues and he picks up your panties that were discarded on the floor. the two of you fix yourselves before stepping out of the back seat, jungkook opens the passenger door for you before he goes to a trashcan and throws away the soiled tissues. 
he joins you back in the car, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. you were rambling about how happy you were that no one was around and how there were no security cameras in the parking garage. jungkook blabbers too, telling you about how embarrassed he is that he barely lasted a few minutes. before the two of you knew it, his car parked in front of your apartment complex. 
he stands outside of your front door, leaning against the doorframe. all dreamy and not like he just made you cum in the backseat of his car. “text me before you sleep?” he smiles. 
you nod, “of course,” reflecting the same smile. you wave before closing your door. the date being more than you ever expected. there was no way jungkook was real. he had to be a figment of your imagination, he was the absolute dream guy. 
you lay in bed, staring at the stars on your ceiling. a blush creeping up to your cheeks once more when you think about the events that took place tonight. 
[11:02 pm] you: thank you for tonight, jungkook 
[11:02 pm] you: it was magical <3 
[11:03 pm] jungkook: no problem cutie, i had an amazing time with you
[11:04 pm] jungkook: feeling okay? 
[11:06 pm] you: i’m great!!! more than okay
[11:07 pm] jungkook: 😂
[11:07 pm] jungkook: i’m glad cutie
[11:08 pm] you: lunch on me next time? now that you’ve taken me for dinner :) 
[11:08 pm] jungkook: sure, i’m down :) 
[11:09 pm] you: i’m rlly tired kookie 
[11:10 pm] you: gonna head to sleep now 
[11:10 pm] jungkook: alright cutie 
[11:11 pm] jungkook: sweet dreams! 
Tumblr media
。゚(゚^O^゚)゚。 tag list: @giadalin @ggukkieland
2K notes · View notes
snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years
Text
Pairings: Past Aizawa/Mandalay
Word Count: 1,9218 Words
Summary: The Sports Festival, part 1.
Warnings: Food Mention, Death Mention, Caps, Cursing, Teen Pregnancy, Fighting Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.
Usernames: Existence Is A Prison   Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20, Yamada: President Megaphone, Bakugou: deku-deck-you
Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 8
7:00 AM
Existence Is A Prison
gay salt: Tokoyami, I know it's the sports festival and all today, but you didn't need to bring everyone sandos and sports drinks again.
foil-mecha: Thing is, I didn't.
farmer toshi: No, no, because my whole class has sandos and sports drinks on their desks too. And I heard the other Gen Ed classes causing a ruckus over them too. Seems like someone put sando throughout the whole school.
feral cat dad: That would be me. I'm not letting any of you kids go without eating during a major sports event where you'll likely get injured and your bodies need fuel to fight and I won't let you not eat.
feral cat dad: My old Gen Ed teacher, Miss Rin, began this tradition of giving out sandos and water at the gate to students on the day of the Sports Festival. Nezu sanctioned of course, since he refused to allow her to pay for it herself. And now it's carried on through me since she passed on a few years ago.
ranch flavored jello: That's actually really sweet, Dad.
feral cat dad: If you tell anyone it was me who put them out, I'll make you clean the roof level.
ranch flavored jello: We have a roof level?
feral cat dad: You guys didn't know the dorms have roof access?
ranch flavored jello: Well, now we do. Where even are the stairs to it?
feral cat dad: Literally next to my room, I don't know how you haven't found them.
deku deck-you: It's the door next to his room, Toru. Even I found it. You've been here five more days than me.
ranch flavored jello: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BROOM CLOSET!
feral cat dad: Oh my gods, these kids will be the end of me.
8:30 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: God help me being alone with this idiot.
feral cat dad: I'm using this chat for extra commentary because there are things I can't say on live national television commentary so they'll all be said here.
feral cat dad: Oh god, Katsuki, no. Don't slander our name.
feral cat dad: Please.
feral cat dad: GOD DAMMIT
feral cat dad: Obstacle Course? Fuck.
feral cat dad: Most proud of my son managing to evade Todoroki's ice despite never dealing with it before.
feral cat dad: Also, Todoroki, who hurt you as a child? That was purposeful so nobody could catch up!
feral cat dad: Get it, Pikachu.
feral cat dad: I'm proud of my gremlin children.
feral cat dad: I'm not paid enough to make commentary on this obstacle.
feral cat dad: Except for my son. I care about my ground-bound son getting across the pit to Tartarus shit.
feral cat dad: Gods, mines. I remember those landmines. I hate those things. They almost made me temporarily blind during my second year Sports Festival.
feral cat dad: What the FUCK Midoriya!?
8:45 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Alright you're probably in the break room for the twenty five minute break by now. Katsuki, what's wrong with your arms? You were holding them.
deku deck-you: Just a lot of work. Overworking. I guess it can't be helped, this is why I have so much wrist support in my hero costume, to help keep my hands from feeling cramped from the explosions.
feral cat dad: Come up to the box, I'll shut old parakeet up if he tries to speak.
deku deck-you: Why?
feral cat dad: I have some ibuprofen, come take two, it should help the pain at least.
deku deck-you: Thank you.
9:00 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Am I allowed to ask why Vlad King is taking care of a small child when he, in fact, doesn't have children?
feral cat dad: Just realized I won't get an answer because you all made it to the next round. I'm so proud but dammit, now I'm curious.
9:20 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: I...What?
feral cad dad; I hate the cavalry battle, that was difficult to keep track of. I don't know how Hizashi does it.
schrodinger better run: Obviously, the answer is very carefully.
feral cat dad: I'm sorry you didn't make it through, Pony. I have candy if you want some.
schrodinger better run: Thank you! I'll stop by and grab it on my way to lunch.
feral cat dad: If you're going to meet back up with your class, text me why there's a child.
schrodinger better run: There's a child?
feral cat dad: smallchildinvladkingsarms.jpg
schrodinger better run: He looks a lot like Tokage.
9:30 AM
Existence Is A Prison
ranch flavored jello: Mr. Aizawa, this is Mina, Toru's busy crying so she asked me to ask you. Mineta and Kaminari are telling us 1a girls that you instructed we wear the cheerleader uniforms for the afternoon. What should we tell them?
feral cat dad: Tell them they have three weeks of detention each to look forward to and don't wear those fucking uniforms.
schrodinger better run: Okay, so apparently the kid's here because Tokage brought him in? I still don't have a full explanation, but his name is Mitsu and he's 2 years old.
feral cat dad: Okay. So Tokage brought her little brother or something?
nat20: I'm not so sure about that. He just called her Mama.
feral cat dad: So Tokage has a son?
nat20: It seems like it.
feral cat dad: Oh, Nezu won't be happy about this. He wanted any young parents to report to him after the opening ceremony and alert him if they had any children so they would stay in the dorms.
nat20: To be fair, it would seem Tokage would be the only one out of all the first year classes, so it might have been too much pressure to fit in. Or she may even just has help enough at home that she didn't feel she needed to tell anyone.
feral cat dad: He'll still be mad. Believe me, he'll at least force her to accept a UA fund card so she doesn't need to work to support the baby.
saviour: We got to talking and, apparently, she gives him to a daycare while she's at school and she picks him up when she leaves school.
feral cat dad: Yup, she'll probably be moved on campus if she's not having her family take care of the baby during the day. Nezu's very adamant that his students have help if they're struggling.
10:45 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Alright, so Shinsou against Rikamaru Kana from the Support Course. I don't know if this will be easy for him.
nat20: I am offended Kendo thinks so little of me.
feral cat dad: Why?
nat20: She said I'm perverse! And, when I asked her about it after, she said it's because I wear the girls' uniform sometimes. She thinks I'm some pervert trying to invade the girl's bathroom to creep on them.
nat20: I swear I haven't, Mr. Aizawa, I've never even gone into the girls restrooms, I use the men's or the one in Recovery Girl's office. And I change in the men's locker room. Tetsutetsu will tell you, he's guarded me before when I was uncomfortable changing.
feral cat dad: Don't worry, kid, I believe you. Come up to the box, you need a hug. I'll talk to Kendo if you want.
nat20: Please.
10:50 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Oh my god, he actually did it. I'm so proud, Shinsou.
schrodinger better run: Shinsou fucking yeeted her.
life is a nightmare: Equal opportunity yeeting.
feral cat dad: Next up is Hatsume vs Tokoyami.
nat20: I hope Tokoyami does well next.
11:00 AM
Existence Is A Prison
feral cat dad: Tokoyami, I'm proud of you for being a good sport and helping her up after.
foil-mecha: I'm nothing if not a gentleman. Plus, when she fell down, she sprained her ankle. It's the least I can do to help her to Recovery Girl.
farmer toshi: I'm betting a grocery shop tonight that Ashido's going to win against Midoriya next.
feral cat dad: Be careful kid, you might eat those words.
11:10 AM
Existence Is A Prison
farmer toshi: Fine, I guess I'm getting dinner. And I'm also very happy Toru won against Iida.
feral cat dad: That's if you don't get injured. Remember, there's now two people you know against you.
ranch flavored jello: I still can't believe I won against Iida, honestly.
feral cat dad: Well, Shiozaki is against Shizuka Inei next. A Gen Ed Course student.
nat20: Do you know him, Hitoshi?
farmer toshi: Kind of hard to miss someone when they're that fucking loud all the time.
foil-mecha: Is that son of a bitch harassing Ibara?
nat20: I have lost faith in humanity. How dare a peasant's filthy hands touch our Ibara.
farmer toshi: Yeah, I'd defend my classmate in it being an accident if I didn't know that Shizuka is a blatant misogynists.
feral cat dad: I'll fight him. Disgusting little trash.
life is a nightmare: And HE gets to advance while our Ibara loses? Unacceptable.
feral cat dad: The Min*ta of class 1c.
11:25 AM
Existence Is A Prison
nat20: Thank goodness Kiyomi's advancing. I do feel bad she'll be fighting a misogynist though.
pure: I felt kind of bad about it, I didn't really want to fight our Akari!
nat20: I'm sure Akari understands and also didn't want to fight you either, but you two can't just refuse to fight because you're friends or you'd both be either disqualified or forced to fight by now.
gay salt: No ill will is held on my end, Kiyomi! I think our fight was rather fun!
pure: Okay, as long as you promise you're not mad.
gay salt: I'm not, I'm proud of you, mon amor.
nat20: Any bets on Kaminari here?
farmer toshi: I'll bet on Pikachu winning.
schrodinger better run: I'll bet a grocery trip that Fujioka wins.
life is a nightmare: That would be the furthest a Business Course student would have gotten in the Sports Festival.
schrodinger better run: I'll still bet on him.
feral cat dad: Well, you were wrong, Pony.
schrodinger better run: All as well. I didn't expect Fujioka to have an equip quirk, to be fair.
feral cat dad: Next is Tokage vs Fukumura from General Studies.
saviour: Let's go Tokage!
11:30 AM
Existence Is A Prison
deku deck-you: Is Tokage okay? I heard she passed out.
feral cat dad: She's overworked and malnourished from what Recovery Girl will tell me when I ask and Nezu is speaking with Tokage and asking her what got her to this.
feral cat dad: I
feral cat dad: I don't think I'm at liberty to discuss her tragic backstory with you guys, sadly. But she'll tell you when she moves into the dorms tonight.
11:35 AM
Existence Is A Prison
farmer toshi: Todoroki, aka Mr. Overboard. Poor Sero.
farmer toshi: Oh god, I might need to fight Mr. Daddy Issues.
farmer toshi: Gods help me.
foil-mecha: To be fair, he'd have to get through three brackets to get to you and he'd be fighting you in the three-way fight.
ranch flavored jello: He'd have to get past Katsuki too.
deku deck-you: He won't.
feral cat dad: Alright then, Mr. Overconfident.
Taglist: @everythingisstardust 
14 notes · View notes
holycow99 · 3 years
Text
石田お寿司 29/7/21 stream translation Part 1
T/n: This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk. I’ve changed the format as this format seems better. I’ll be writing in this format from now on.
*Someone asked him about his throat.
I: My throat? It’s normal. (t/n: He had a sore throat a few weeks ago)
I: I was asleep when chp 5 was released. It was already dark when I woke up.
*People in the comment praised chp 5.
I: Thank you, thank you. I’m glad you liked it.
C: I’m waiting for the translation!
I: It coming soon. (t/n: He’s speaking in eng.) It sounds like a wrong eng.
C: Are you right handed?
I: Yes, I am.
I: For chapter 6, I’ll probably finish drawing it if I work until the day after tomorrow, even though I haven’t made any progress at all. After that, I’ll add in the typesetting and then it’ll probably finished around 2nd or 3rd August. I’d be bad if I couldn’t get it done after I’ve said this.
C: Fumi (Jack Jeanne’s character) plays erhu? (t/n: OP’s referring to JJ OST album’s illustration.)
I: Yeah. Kosemura Akira (composer for Jack Jeanne) wanted to use erhu when composing Fumi’s theme song. So, he asked a famous person to play it. It’s really rare to have erhu in songs. Not many people in Japan play it. Why did he choose erhu? Then, when imagining what kind of instruments suit each character, for Kai, he has that deep, bass feeling. So, his instrument is double bass. Piano is Kisa. Suzu is, of course, all about hitting the beat. Drum is an important instrument in rhythm creation. For yonaga, it’s a wind instrument. I want him to play a pipe. You won’t understand even if I talk about it. Should I leave the picture here? Wait a min, let me show you.
*Someone commented about Tokyo revengers’ illustration.
I: Oh yes, I did an illustration of Tokyo Revengers’ Mikey. I want to draw Draken as well.
*He showed the illustration of JJ’s characters with instruments.
I: I drew Shirota playing guitar. For some reason, I imagined he could play guitar. And then, instruments like viola (referring to Neji). Otori plays maracas.
I: That’s how it is. And then, we have the Sui exhibition in Nagoya. I’ve been writing report on the event. Isn’t it amazing? Probably not. It’s for myself after all. Rather than for myself, I’d get mixed up if the exhibition is held in a lot of places. 
*He started Playing Ghosts n’ Goblins.
C: I really want to play Ghosts n’ Goblins, but it seems so stressful.
I: It’s not stressful, rather you’d feel angry.
*Giant monsters appeared.
I: Just now on discord, Goubaru texted me saying he wanted to call me, but I rejected. He’s expressing his anger right now. (t/n: He referred the monsters stomping the ground as angry Goubaru.)
C: Sensei, there’s no love counselling session today?
I: It seems like some of you were happy when I gave love advice. There’s someone who became a couple with her childhood friend. She said she’s gonna talk to her bf once again. What was the problem again? Something like she had trouble chatting with her bf through mail. I advised her not to then. Hahaha.
C: Do you remember people who always watch your livestream?
I: Not at all. I do remember you *****-san. (t/n: He mentioned OP’s name)
I: I tried listening to my own stream while working. When I listened to it, I realised I have a tendency to pick comments from specific people. There’re people who know to comment at the right timing, like Y****. (t/n: He mentioned the fan he always chats with) It seems like I pick them based on the colour (?), name length, and comments that are easy to pick. Weirdly enough, I always end up reading the comments from the same people.
*He’s fighting another angry and aggressive Goubaru.
C: Is Goubaru usually like this?
I: I wonder… I think so. But, he often wore this kind of down jacket, like for a year. A purple one. Even though the fabric wasn’t that thick, wearing a down jacket must be hot, right? He didn’t take it off when he’s in the workplace. He even wore it during summer. I asked him why, and he said it’s because he wanted to hide his body line. Sounds like a problem an attractive woman would’ve. I do kinda understand that. It’s probably the same reason as women who wears loose clothing as to not have their chest shown too much. He always wore purple down jackets due to reasons like that.
C: My dad also always wears down jackets in every season to hide his body line.
I: I’d tell those kind of people to lose weight.
C: Wearing down jacket and sweating is probably their way of losing weight.
I: No, but even if you sweat, you won’t lose weight. Those who’re dieting probably know this already, but sweating only reduce the water percentage in your body. Just because you sweat a lot doesn’t mean you’d lose weight. In the end, it all depends on the amount of fat you lose and the amount of muscle mass you gain.
I: With sauna, I don’t think you can lose weight. If you drink water, you gain back the amount of water you lost. However, if you don’t drink water for 2 days, you’d probably lose 2-3kg. Human bodies are made up of 70% of water after all.
C: Sauna only makes you feel refreshing.
I: Sauna makes you feel good. I think that, in itself, is nice too. It’s just that only fat people think that they can lose weight wearing down jacket. 
(t/n: I might’ve translated it a bit harsh, but I don’t think he meant it in a bad way. Please don’t be offended.)
C: Did you tell that to him?
I: I told him a lot of things. Something like “you’re gonna die” or “you’re gonna have your limbs amputated”. I have a younger friend who’s slightly diabetic, I think. He had always been fat, though he sometimes went on diet. His family knew a lot of people in the medical field, so they kept telling him to go to hospital. When he did the examination, he was told that he had a chance of getting diabetes. But Goubaru is a slob, so he wouldn’t visit hospital by his own volition, though I’m not qualified to say that since I also don’t really visit hospitals. He might be in a worse condition since he wouldn’t get checked up, so I think it’s best for him to lose weight.
I: Why being fat is not good for your health is because when the fat dissolves in your blood, the blood vessels will get clogged. That’s why I think it’s not good.
C: How much is your body fat percentage (BFP)?
I: How much is it…I’m not aiming to be ridiculously skinny or whatever. The average would be around 16-17%? It’d be great if I can get there. When I was on a rigorous diet, my BFP was as low as 13%. Some people are able to get to 10%. I wonder how they do that?
I: I’ve heard from someone about Goubaru’s body fat percentage. I’ve been talking about him, but his BFP is scary. It seems like he has 45% of fat in his body. He is nothing but a lump of fats already. The mother in Atashinchi (a classic manga) is also the same. Do you guys know Atashinchi? The mother is kinda fat. She’s also has around 45% BFP I think.
C: How much does Goubaru weigh?
I: I think he already surpassed 100kg, but I don’t know about now.
C: To be able to surpass 100kg is a talent.
I: Right. I’ve heard about that in Bananaman’s (Japanese comedy duo) radio or something. Mr. Himura (a member of Bananaman) was around 90kg at that time, though I don’t know his weight now. It’s probably around 10 years ago. He said he’s weighed more than 100kg, and that weighing 105 kg is a talent. 100kg was like the threshold for your body and you surpassed that limit.
C: There’s someone like Goubaru in my class.
I: But you don’t know him. Do you mean him having the same weight?
C: My classmate who weighs over 100kg broke the school chair just by sitting on it.
I: The weight is one thing, but even though chairs could withstand heavy amount of load, they’re not durable. Goubaru’s chair made a few scary noises whenever he sat down. It sounded similar to the sound effect of the door being opened in Inagawa Junji’s (an actor & ghost storyteller) ghost stories. I thought Mr. Junji was there.
Part 2
7 notes · View notes
lucysweatslove · 2 years
Text
Work sucked today.
I have to clock in tomorrow to finish up… The afternoon felt like a mess and for me to handle it on my own when I had no idea what was going on most of the time was rough. We had a patient I absolutely could not find at all, another 45 min video call without any video and the patient not present for empathy and guidance for parents, and another kid who could NOT tolerate a laryngoscopy and sounded like a breakdown crying because he was so scared and startled by the topical anesthetic spray. I stayed almost an hour late working but I just didn’t have the mental energy to do the scared kiddo’s visit. Plus, I kind of want to check tomorrow to see if anything has been updated about that. Tomorrow won’t be too bad since it is only one note for roll over, but I am just exhausted trying to figure out what to do in weird circumstances all by myself.
The good news is I got some feedback from my supervisor saying I’m doing well picking up the three providers. I’m laughing at that bc I feel like I’m NOT but hey, the account is just difficult in general.
Also I am still only mildly sore from my workout on Tuesday which is disappointing to say the least.
I’m considering spinning a bit tonight because ANXIOUS ENERGY but I only enjoy spinning when I’m watching a show and I finished Cheer. Maybe I’ll re-watch more Queer Eye.
Or maybe I should just eat :P It’s been so busy and stressful I literally forgot to eat.
4 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 2 years
Note
I’m sorry lol but here we go…. I have 2 older siblings I’m the baby and I always do things for them I’ll go over to their place if I’m free and let their dogs out or babysit or even pick them up if they need a ride to do something if I don’t have anything going on and I’ve always done this… our dad passed away back in June so they’ve actually been distant from my mom and I and today my mom went out of town to be w my grandma cuz my grandpa is in the hospital and I’m off I needed to run errands and get an oil change so I went to do the oil change first cuz I knew it was probably gonna be a 3hr wait which it was and NO ONE would help me. My sister was at work but said she’d come take me back if she got off but when she got off she basically said I can’t you should have planned this better(she’s the one w kids so I’m like sure whatever) and my brother the real dick that he is, he’s off of work cuz of a car accident he had, he goes out at night w our cousins and parties says he’ll pick me up but said he won’t take me to run errands that wouldn’t even take the amount of time I have to wait for my car and then he drops me off at home 45 mins away from him (just 5 mins down the road from the oil change place) and then texts me 2 hrs later “do you need me to take you back to get your car?” Thankfully (but also not) my aunt was coming back from a retreat and said she’d take me to pick it up so I literally sat in my house while all my errands could have been done were on a clock cuz I needed to pay bills that the office were gonna close and I needed to get groceries and now it’s 5:30 my aunt took me on a side quest to target I at least paid my bills (cuz they were next to target) and I have my car but I don’t want to get groceries and i miss my dad and my mom and I’ve already cried today and now I feel like they are just angry tears if I cry again………. Sorry it’s been a day and I needed to let this out 😩 like I legit cried earlier cuz I missed my dad so much cuz he usually would take me to do my oil and run errands during the time we had to wait for the car so I’m just like why are you telling me I should have planned this better when this is how I was raised and I know at least one of you don’t have anything going on
Sweetheart, I am so so sorry that you went through that. You deserve more. I wish I could give you a big big hug right now so we're going to pretend I am just for the next few moments where you read this.
I get it, believe me when I tell you I get it. But here's what you need to remind yourself when you reach these low moments and it's something I've heard from NCIS actually (thank you Ducky).
If you're going through hell, keep going.
It's not ideal but I found that it works when I reach a moment where I want to scream at every single person that isn't helping me through my struggles. Your brother should have stepped up and helped you out, and that really was a dick move on his part. If he tries to apologize or something, you need to let him know that that was unacceptable and that he needs to act, at the very least, like an adult the next time you ask him to help you with something. He's not a baby. He can spare some time. If he doesn't see it your way or tries to ignore you, then end the conversation and tell him that you're willing to talk to him again when he feels like acting a little more humanely. Your sister could have done something as well but you can try to give her the benefit of the doubt (for now) since she is working and is a mother and she's probably tired. But, she shouldn't have said the "planned better" bit because this is probably new to you.
I hate to tell you this but you will probably and unfortunately have these moments again. But the nice and more enjoyable days will outnumber the shitty ones.
As to missing your mom and dad, just cry it out. Get it out of your system. I did that this past Sunday when it got really bad for me and I ended up having a panic attack because I have not been grieving my dad in a healthy way at all. So cry it out of your system, who cares if they're angry tears. They're probably sad, angry, irritated, why the fuck is this happening tears. But it will make you feel a little better.
Believe me. I lived half a year by myself after my dad passed away and it. fucking. sucked. I cried myself to sleep every night. Still do sometimes and it's been three years now. But I wake up more at peace.
Your mom will come back and you will see her and hug her and tell her that you love her and talk with her about memories with your dad. It's okay to miss her but she is coming back.
Also, I had the exact same moment you had with your car the first time I had to take it to get the oil change. I sold my car because I didn't need it anymore since I had my dad's which I'm driving now and it took the lady at the dealer shop to ask me one question for me to break down in front of her and tell her that my dad was the one that usually did this so I wasn't feeling too well being in that space. I get it babe, I get it.
I will tell you that things do get a little easier. The day will come where instead of crying every time you look at your dad's pictures or remember something the two of you did, you will smile and not cry. Or at the very least, you'll cry tears of joy that you had those moments you can now rely on and not cry out of heartbreak.
So if crying helps, then do it.
I really am so sorry you're experiencing this right now. I'm not sure how old you are but my guess is you're younger than me and I can't begin to think of how I would be feeling if I lost my dad at a younger age. But you're going to get through this and you're going to look back and realize that it's these moments that made you stronger. My inbox is always open if you want to vent or just have silly conversations to distract yourself from something.
I love you friend, and I pray that you find some peace in the coming hours so you forget this shitty day.
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
halogalopaghost · 3 years
Text
So drawing has been incredibly difficult lately.
For some reason i have completely lost my ability to assess a reference photo and draw the correct proportions and angles. I know it's not a permanent thing, but it IS very super duper weird. I've done some tracing (WITHOUT posting, it's an excellent exercise, don't come for me in the night) and anatomy studies recently and they uhhhhh haven't helped. I do have commissions to complete so I'm still working slowly and steadily, but I have to stop as soon as I become frustrated with it or I will literally fly into a day-ruining, depressive-episode-beginning rage.
Example: yesterday around two PM I became frustrated with a face angle that I just could not get right, no matter how many times I drew it and used reference. I went total blind rage and spent the rest of the day in bed, crying and watching a Netflix miniseries. I stayed up until 3:45 AM, a whole twelve hours later, and only felt better when I woke up this morning.
This evening I was able to finish the face I was having such horrible trouble with yesterday and do a little bit more work on the body, but when I shifted to doing figure 2 I got ridiculously angry and had to stop. I then got out a rough sketch for commission 2 but also got really angry at that after about 30 mins. Listening to MBMBAM while drawing today seemed to help a little bit, but not much.
I guess I'm just putting this here because I don't like journaling (lol), there are no therapists in my area who will return my calls (LOL) and I'm trying to understand what's going on (lmfao). So yeah. I'm not drawing a whole lot right now, and I'm not really writing either because my attention span is shit. Is it seasonal depression? Is it regular depression? Is it ADHD? Is it some other issue that I don't know about yet? Am I just a bad artist? I may never know. But I'm gonna keep pushing anyway, because I only have so many things in life that make me feel fulfilled and keep yucky stuff at bay, and drawing is a precious one of them.
10 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
just going to chat a bit about my very mundane life!! feeling talky, lol. I very much did not want to do even my short little 15 min run today (it’s HOT out) but earlier in the week I skated and skipped my post-skate run and atomic habits says the rule of habits is never to break one twice. so I skated for an hour and change with Andrea, walked 45 min, and then ran a miserable 15 min. Pip came along with me but unfortunately we’re getting close to that time of year where I have to either go alone or resign myself to carrying him a mile home in my arms when he gets too hot and lies down in protest.
I am currently working hard on a skating skill (the parallel turn) that has been a frustrating challenge. it’s one of the big skills I need to master to go from beginner to intermediate but lord it is hard for me! all the tutorial videos make it look so effortless but it just requires a different kind of balance and control than I’ve had to use before, and it’s one of those things where I just can’t figure out what it’s supposed to feel like in my body/form. however I am DETERMINED to figure it out so I am going to sit down this weekend and research on/off skate drills I can do, and also just see if I can watch those videos slowed way down to figure out the different components of the movement.
okay blah blah just took a shower and put in an order for more giant salads at the pizza place up the street. I could definitely figure out how to make these salads at home but when I buy salad stuff I inevitably let most of it go bad in the fridge, so I’m telling myself that it’s worth the couple extra bucks! plus it always feels like such a nice treat and I figure anything I can do to incentivize eating gigantic salads is good!!
no hockey tonight so my only plans are to LOUNGE. I’ll probably read and comment on some fic, and maybe spend some time semi-seriously mapping out a summer training schedule in a physical notebook. I think I am actually feeling pretty good about not getting a second job this summer and not spending a ton of time focused on work stuff. this past year has just been stupid, and while I’ve had a decent year in spite of *gestures vaguely* absolutely everything, I think it’ll be good to take a true break. next year is going to be plenty busy—some new fall projects (and possible research collaborations with our teaching & learning center?) are starting to materialize already, plus I’ll be fully back on the job market. and this might be the Last Real Summer depending on what my next job is, so fuck it! I will spend the summer joyfully exercising and hanging out with friends and maybe doing some writing for various fic fests.
6 notes · View notes
Text
A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020
I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.
The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.
Top 10 panel edits:
Tumblr media
#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)
Date: Jun 14th, 2019
Time: ~ 1:30 h
My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.
Tumblr media
#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!
Date: Jun 28th, 2019
Time: ~ 1 h
Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.
Tumblr media
#3: Krone's birthday edit
Date: Jul 15th, 2019
Time: 15 mins
I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.
Tumblr media
#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward
Date: Oct 4th, 2019
Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)
Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.
Tumblr media
#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough
Date: Oct 11th, 2019
Time: 29 mins
I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back
Tumblr media
#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born
Date: Nov 17th, 2019
Time: 2:09 h
Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.
Tumblr media
#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone
Date: Dec 13th, 2019
Time: 57 mins
Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.
Tumblr media
#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home
Date: Mar 9th, 2020
Time: 3:45 h
I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT
Tumblr media
#9: Norman's birthday edit
Date: Mar 21st, 2020
Time: 1:04 h
This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.
Tumblr media
#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)
Date: Apr 6th, 2020
Time: 2:11 h
I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.
(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).
Top 5 edits as whole:
#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!
Date: Jun 29th, 2019
Complessive time: 2:57+ h
The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!
#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born
Date: Nov 20th, 2019
Complessive time: 7:12+ hours
This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)
#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)
Date: Apr 12th, 2020
Complessive time: 6:53+ h
I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.
#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother
Date: May 22nd, 2020
Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)
Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.
#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House
Date: Jun 9th, 2020
Complessive time: 1:59+ h
I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.
Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough
Date: Oct 13th, 2019
Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)
A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.
Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles
Date: Dec 11th, 2019
Complessive time: 3:14+ h
That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.
Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation
Date: Jun 6th, 2020
Complessive time: 4:16+ h
I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.
Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.
Top 5 long posts:
#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms
Date: Aug 28th, 2019
I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.
#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime
Date: Sep 10th, 2019
I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.
#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons
Date: Oct 27th, 2019
I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.
#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)
Date: May 7th, 2020
It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”
#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself
Date: Jun 13th, 2020
Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.
Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars
Date: Feb 9th, 2020
Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!
Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes
Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!
40 notes · View notes
findingmypeace · 3 years
Text
3/18/2021 Part 2
I have questions and messages to respond to but I probably won’t get to them until tomorrow. Sorry! I just want to write this out real fast. I’m home now. I’ve done a good job of staying occupied and distracted tonight. I haven’t really had time to think about everything. It’s about time to go to bed. I’m afraid to go to bed. Time to think about it. I can’t do that. I don’t want to think.
I have to drive up to my hometown tomorrow. I haven’t transferred my medications to a pharmacy near my new place yet and I have medications waiting to be picked up at the pharmacy I had been using in my hometown. I haven’t gotten around to changing it because I was still going up there at least once a week so it was no problem to just pick up the medication while I was there. But now, it doesn’t make sense to have to drive 45 mins just to pick up a prescription when there is a pharmacy a 3 minute drive away from my new place. I hope I can handle being there (my hometown) without breaking down. It will be my first time being back there since we moved out last only a week ago. I’m still having nightmares about not being welcome there. I know it’s just my brain processing this but I still wake up crying.
In other news, I now have full possession/control of all of my meds. As most of you know, my psychiatrist had my Mom confiscate all of my meds after my suicide attempt a little over 2 years ago. Over the last few months I’ve slowly been trusted with a little more access to them. Two weeks ago my Mom let me take home the full bottles of my night meds (plus my weekly pill containers). About a month ago she let me start filling out the weekly pill containers. When I moved out I still came home once a week so she kept my meds. Well now she lives in another state. That arrangement obviously won’t work anymore. So now, as of today, ALL of my pills are in my possession. The tub with all the pill bottles is currently sitting on my coffee table just a few feet away. A lot of mixed emotions. I feel ready to be trusted again. But I also feel triggered and a little anxious. And I also want to prove to my Mom and others that I can be trusted. I’m trying to not get to far ahead of myself. Just because I’m anxious about having this medication doesn’t mean I’m going to do something bad with it. I am ready. I can do this.
4 notes · View notes
5-24-21 Back at it, stronger, better, faster...older
5:52 a.m. I’m at the plantation, sitting in my car, 3 mins until I walk in. There are a myriad of thoughts dancing in my head, I’m still not well rested (a black cat...well the resident black cat walks by without seeing me). It’s a gray, drab Monday, but I’m in good spirits...my Dani is well, but she has a lot on her mind. She’s my biggest supporter and I’m appreciative. My children are fine, they are my biggest supporters, I dropped them off yesterday to their moms...I miss them already, especially since I really didn’t see them this weekend because of me new position. Pause...I have to go into work...
5-26-21 Unpause, thrust into debauchery again
Well,?I walk into work that Monday...I work...that’s pretty much it. It’s another day, I post a review, I talk with O and stay away from others for the day. The 17 year cicadas are out in full force. Everything is eating them, dogs, birds, humans...they must be delicious, but I will never find out. As I am sitting here I’m hearing a noise beyond the cars riding by, beyond the birds chirping, beyond the crickets and even the annual cicadas. I realize that the noise is the 17 year joints. It sounds like a cry from the heavens...a wailing...shot if I waited 17 years for a mate I guess I’d sound like that too. It’s eerie. I went to go pick up Dani yesterday, she was having a moment on Monday, crying about her next steps in life. I felt her pain, and I didn’t want her to be there. I’m the other half of her, and I’m responsible for helping her with her ailments. I asked those that are not seen to help me help her. Let me take her mind racing ailment, let me take her pain away. It worked, they answered, and on 5-24-21...I woke up with my mind racing. I knew that I took on her angst, I handled it accordingly and kept busy...ahhhh that’s what was significant on Monday. I was dead tired and I worked worked that day. Controlling my mind to not go too far over the edge. I even came home that day and started cleaning, cooking, washing, resetting my phone, cropping pictures, hooked up my studio, pulled out the dip kit, packed a go bag...just everything. Sleep was easy to delve into that night. “Goodnight Dani” is all I remember saying. It feels good to have money in my pocket on a Monday...and there is a reason why my pocket is heavy. So last Thursday I’m home, my off day, I’m chillin out on the balcony talking with...who else...my Dani. “I need to find a way to get some more money” I said. Now that statement comes not to long after a conversation we had about our ancestors, and how to put them to work for you, how they are always around and how they are READY to work for you. I contemplated more money for a hot second...then I let it go. No more than an hour later I get a call while on a call...the phone reads “Black”. “Let me see what he wants...hold on babe” I say. “Black man with the permanent tan...what up” I say to him, my normal greeting, even though we haven’t talked in a while. He says “Aye...I have a gig for you”, “Uhhhh ok what is it”? Then in the background I hear a all to familiar voice say “Heyyyyy Farman!” Ha!! It’s my long time friend Reds, Frenchie, Arlen...man these guys go back 30 plus years with me...I’m overwhelmed because it’s good to hear from them, and a plethora of memories rush through my head...those young good times. Nonetheless Black tells me about this bouncing gig. I deny it...it’s going to interfere with my regular job....but damn the money sounds good. He wanted me to stop what I was doing and go on an interview...I said “Nah...I’m cooking dinner, fuck it, I’m not going to be able to do it.” “Ok, I’ll vouch for you dog, just show up.” Damn...I thought to myself “Ok, Ok, I’ll do it!” Now I’ve retired from bouncing some years ago...now here I am again, finding myself thrust back into the belly of the beast in Adams Morgan. I’m a veteran of this strip. I know what goes on. Sex, drugs, and people that have yet to find themselves with severe mental disabilities and money. It’s a rough place for an enlightened human being, for someone that knows themselves, and has chosen to not be in the midst of that kind of debauchery any longer. When I was there those years back...it was me that didn’t know who I was, it was me that was susceptible to the night life, lifestyle. I got involved...selling this, drinking that, this woman, that woman, money money, cheating, lying, abusing (me), loneliness, depression, not trusting anyone and myself, not stopping people from going over the edge...essentially I died there, now I’m back and I’m reborn. I met many good people there in the past...hell if I wasn’t there, I would’ve never met my children’s mother. So not everything was bad...I learned a lot and I grew a lot.
5-26-21 Continued
So now I’m 45 I got this offer to bounce again, and I took it. I’m at a different place in life from 10 years ago. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke (weed anymore), I’ve done some egoism work, shadow work, and tempered my life to a better place. $25 an hour, perks like a STOOL to sit on all night (unfounded in the bouncing arena), $25 worth of food each night (an Asian american mix), $20 a night for parking...and I’m sitting outside checking ID’s all night...I’m doing nothing...getting paid. The place is called Death Punch...and it’s full of the residuals of the old Adams Morgan. Everyone in this spot is on coke, and I know it. I’m cool with it... The hours are from 10-3 a.m. and I work at 6 a.m....it a rough schedule but I can do it...shit it was hard...I had to leave that spot the first night and go to my main gig and sleep in the car until 5:50 and go to work. Whew...it was rough but I did it. Black told me to wear a black polo, and not to wear my crown...my signature red, black and green Kufi...that’s a part of my protection. I know I’m suppose to be weary a white Kufi...I know. So I obliged Black on the first night and man was I susceptible to all of the energies that shook my hand (millionaires by the way). Confusing energies, coming up to me talking about their wild ways and ill thoughts. I had to consciously swerve them these no good energies and some good. Long story longer...that first day a woman walking with her man caught my eyes. She was of hispanic decent and this instance happened in milliseconds. While walking, she pulled her mask down, smiling, and said to me “It feels funny being sober out here amongst everyone drunk!” I knew right at that moment that this was an angel, an ancestor...it wasn’t that woman. That comment stopped me in my tracks. Struck me in my soul. It had my mouth open. I yelled to her as she and her man were yards away “How’d you know I am sober?” She yelled back “Because I am”!! That moment moved me to the point of confirmation of me being in Adams Morgan in the state I am today. Shit I was even called a Bitch while simultaneously being called a King by a sista that had to be kicked out of the bar. In her moment of diluted, inebriated (coke) anger...she hurled what the average man would take as an insult (only a bitch nigga responds to being called a bitch), and right after she came back to herself from the sunken place and gave me the right title of King. That Saturday I wore my Kufi...I was fine...it was a swift night, and nobody cared that I had it on...I was protected. I saged and Florida watered the shit out of me before going in that night. Here’s to new endeavors, and being paid.
1 note · View note