everything happens for a reason part 16 - zuko x fem!reader
I miss you more than anything
part 15 | masterlist | part 17
a/n: SO. it has only been a minor 116 days since the last chapter. lol. i am so sorry for the delay, my inspiration to write for this series has been pretty low lately but all the sweet comments you guys have left abt this series has brought it back and it's finally here !! thank you to everyone that's kept with this throughout the constant month-long waits, i love you all and your support means the world<3 this chapter jumps around in pov quite a bit but hopefully it works out alright
wc: 5.9k
warning(s): angst, a lot of angst, katara, zuko, and yn's inner turmoil lol, prisons and bad conditions, and some more angst
chapter title comes from francis forever by mitski
The flowers were in bloom.
Camellias, roses, peonies, fire lilies, silver wisterias. Their aroma was almost overwhelmingly sweet, but it signaled the change of seasons, the slow descent into the notoriously torturous Fire Nation summer. While Zuko would normally be reluctantly preparing for a trip to Ember Island or engaging in rigorous training to fill the hours in the absence of school lessons, his days instead consisted of politics and meetings.
He was — once again — the crown prince. The Fire Lord’s heir, the next leader of the Fire Nation, the one who would have the honor of leading a fully united world after a century of war with the Fire Nation at its helm. It was what he had been fighting for all his life, what he had spent the past three years in exile for, what he had cast aside everything for. This — the life of the prince he was supposed to be — was what Zuko was meant for.
And yet he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror.
When he did, he was met with a person he hardly recognized. Dark circles underneath his eyes, prominent cheekbones, shaggy hair that constantly fell in his line of sight. To anyone that asked he simply cited hard work, the excuse of all his new duties more than enough to get someone off his back.
Zuko didn’t understand it. Everything was perfect. He had the title, the honor, the respect — for Agni’s sake, he even had the girl. He and Mai got together shortly after his return to the Fire Nation, and she was everything a noble son could have wanted.
He should’ve been happy, grateful, ecstatic to have the life he’d always wanted after so long, but the only constant in his life seemed to be unrelenting anger. He snapped at every guard, every servant, Mai, Ty Lee, Azula — everyone that went farther than a greeted nicety that wasn’t his father.
How could he have everything he had ever wanted but still be so miserable?
“Zuko? Did you hear me?”
Zuko was jarred from his thoughts by Mai’s voice, and he blinked a couple times as he met her eyes again. In all the years he’d known her, he didn’t think he had ever seen her smile. In a weird way, he was thankful for the lack of emotion. He didn’t have to worry about the seemingly ever-present scowl he bore most days when Mai was the same way.
He shook his head. “No. What’d you say?”
Mai sighed. “Ty Lee won’t stop talking about going into town to see the lanterns and the barges they’re setting up for the festival, and she finally managed to wear me down. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us tomorrow night.”
Zuko frowned. “There’s a festival coming up?”
“The Festival of Szeto,” she responded. “You haven’t been to one in a while, so I thought it would be…” Mai rolled her eyes a bit, “…nice.”
He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, barely managing a nod. “Yeah. Sure.”
Mai nodded as well then stood up from the chaise, walking over to the door frame before she turned to face him. “I should go. Azula requested Ty Lee and I join her for something tonight; I need to get ready for whatever she’s planning.”
“You’ve been talking a lot about Ty Lee lately,” Zuko said, not looking back at her as he got up as well and crossed over to his desk, the furnished wood covered by heaps of papers.
There was something heavy in Mai’s silence, and he felt the weight of her gaze on his back. “She’s one of the only people I can tolerate in this place. You’re not exactly easy to be around these days.”
Zuko clenched his jaw, his hand tightening into a fist on the table. “It’s not like you’re any better.”
“You don’t really inspire happiness,” Mai retorted. “At least I can talk to people without them being afraid I’ll explode if they say the wrong thing. You’re a walking fire hazard Zuko, and it’s so painfully obvious that it’s because of her.”
He whipped around, a familiar fire blazing in his irises. “What are you saying?”
“You know exactly what I’m saying.” Mai crossed her arms. “You refuse to eat fruit tarts, you hate silver wisterias, you snap at every servant, and you can’t even look me in the eye some days. I can’t even mention her without you losing your temper. You have everything you could ever want, but you’re still stuck in the past.”
Zuko glared at her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She just shook her head, the same deadpan expression as ever. But there was something else in her eyes, something he couldn’t place. “Azula was right. You really aren’t over her.”
Before Zuko had a chance to say anything, Mai left, shutting the door behind her. He stewed in a suffocating silence until it became too much, his rage manifesting in a frustrated roar as he slammed his fist into his desk. The pain didn’t faze him, his breathing slightly ragged as he lifted his head and stared out the window.
Y/N. Mai didn’t mention her by name, but Zuko knew. He always knew; he knew her, and it was— she was— the source of every problem in his life. He hadn’t seen her in weeks, not since he had made the misguided decision to visit her in the prisons, and yet she managed to consume his every waking thought without lifting a finger.
Everything in his life was perfect except for her. Except for Y/N, the girl he never should have fallen for and had no reason to feel anything else for, especially not now. What he said, he wanted so badly to be true. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to banish her from his mind, he wanted every part of her erased from every part of him.
But every Agni-damned thing in the Fire Nation reminded him of her.
The silver wisterias that grew in the gardens. The fabrics the servants used to mend his clothes, the servants themselves. The fruit tarts in the kitchens. He nursed any injuries on his own, unable to even think about stepping foot in the infirmary.
Zuko pulled away from his desk and sat against the side of his bed, burning holes into the floorboards with the heat of his glare.
Mai was right. If he didn’t get rid of this guilt, if he didn’t let go of the past, he would never be free. And he wasn’t going to give up everything he had fought for over a childish crush.
His hands once again clenched into fists, the loose fabric of his tunic bunching up underneath. He had to forget his uncle, he had to forget Y/N , he had to forget every memory of the Avatar and his team and the disappointment and anger that each of them looked at him with that night in Ba Sing Se.
He just had to figure out how.
-
So this was the Boiling Rock.
It truly was deserted. An island in the middle of a boiling lake surrounded by rock that rose miles above the water, a sight that never failed to instill that feeling of worthlessness that was growing all too familiar.
She did not belong here, isolated from everyone she knew in an inescapable prison with only the worst criminals for company. It instilled a sick sense of dread in her, that this was what the Fire Nation, or at least those in power, thought of those fighting against them to bring back peace.
Y/N realized that Princess Azula had certainly made good on her promise the moment she was loaded onto the airship, one in a line of many other prisoners. With her spine ramrod straight and features tightened into a trained mask of stoicism, she was almost able to fool the others into thinking she wasn’t absolutely terrified. She got good looks at her fellow inmates on the gondola ride over to the prison, and saying she was intimidated was an understatement.
Fellow inmates. It was strange to think of it like that, but it was her reality now. Back in the Fire Nation, she was completely alone. Here, she was surrounded by criminals, all much older than her and likely far more grizzled. She was out of her league in so many ways — one of the guards had warned the others about her waterbending (or lack thereof) and it only served to make her more vulnerable.
Y/N had a feeling that the prisoners here didn’t care for outsiders.
After becoming the not-so-proud owner of an ill-fitting red jumpsuit and going through a very blunt orientation warning them of what would happen if they were even a step out of line, she was introduced to her new home for the foreseeable future.
The cell was cramped, dry, and uncomfortable in every way. Boasting no windows, a single cot with a blanket so thin she could have torn it herself, and absolutely nothing else, she was truly living the life of luxury.
She sat on the sorry excuse for a bed and pulled her knees up to her chest as she backed against the wall, and the slow, methodical breathing she had learned from Aang was the only thing keeping her somewhat calm.
This was it.
Y/N was in a Fire Nation prison with no means of escape, her friends were on the other side of the world with no idea of what had happened to her, Aang was really and truly gone with no chance of rebirth, and the world’s last chance at peace was foiled with the fall of Ba Sing Se.
There was no second chance. There was no ‘sleep on it, try again tomorrow’ — they had lost everything. She had lost everything.
She was going to live out the rest of her short, pitiful life as a non-bending, traitorous prisoner, completely separated from everyone and everything she’d ever loved.
In the darkest moments of her life, Y/N had always been able to look to the sky, at least comforted by the notion that Yue was watching over her. No matter where she was, Yue was always there. But here, surrounded by concrete and not even granted the luxury of barred windows, stargazing was not an option.
She no longer even had the moon to turn to.
She had lost.
And she was purely and truly alone.
-
“I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to deal with the Fire Nation weather, but it’s actually pretty nice.” Sokka cleaned his machete as he spoke, needing something to do with his hands while he waited for dinner. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the South, but it’s nice not having to worry about freezing to death all the time.”
Aang gave him a strange look. “You worried about freezing to death all the time?”
He brushed his question off with his hand. “You get used to it after a while. I like not having to wear parkas everywhere, especially at night. This seaside breeze?” Sokka smiled as he inhaled the salty scent, gesturing towards the water with his machete. “Almost makes up for the Fire Nation chasing us everywhere.”
“You have very low standards,” Katara said dryly, glancing over at him as she stirred a pot of soup with her waterbending.
“Hey,” he shrugged, “low standards means that you’re never disappointed. It helps with your cooking.”
She rolled her eyes at his remark, but she couldn’t hold back her smile. “Keep that up and you’ll be hunting for food on your own.”
Sokka held up his hands in defense, but Toph just groaned from her spot on the ground, her blank gaze aimed at the night sky. “Are you gonna be done soon? I’m starving.”
“You’re in luck,” she said, and she started bending their pitiful excuse for a meal into the wooden bowls they had picked up a hundred villages ago.
They didn’t have much after their loss in Ba Sing Se, the sum of their journey having been reduced to the few possessions each of them kept in their bags after they were forced to flee from the city.
There wasn’t much in terms of food where the four of them had been staking out lately either — the rations Hakoda had provided them before they left the Water Tribe fleet ran out despite their best efforts to make them last, leaving Sokka to scrounge up what he could on his usual scavenging trips and Katara to cook something up with the little ingredients and tools they had. It was a con to camping out in the middle of the Fire Nation, but underneath Sokka’s and Toph’s complaints, they would agree that it was a small price to pay to avoid anyone from the Fire Nation.
Katara finished filling all of the bowls and she started passing them out, but when she got to her own she froze in place. “Oh.”
Sokka had already started digging in — the broth might’ve been largely flavorless, but it was better than nothing — but he looked up from his bowl at his sister. “What?”
She sat down with a solemn expression, but he could see the emotions warring on her face. “I… I made five.”
The three words drained all of the earlier lightness out of the atmosphere, leaving the four of them in a heavy silence at the indirect mention of their lost companion.
“It just…” Katara sighed as she set her bowl on the dirt, her appetite suddenly gone. “It just doesn’t feel right without her. I’ve always known we were friends, best friends, but I never knew how much I would miss her until she wasn’t here anymore. I always end up wanting to tell her things, and then I remember she’s not here, and I…” She trailed off, her gaze falling to the ground, but Toph nodded.
“She could actually take a joke,” she said with a smile. “She looked out for me and she took care of me, but she never treated me like I was a child. I could tell that she cared in her own way, and that was special.”
“You are a child,” Sokka said.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do,” he chuckled. “And I miss her too. We have this— this kind of bond that you guys can’t understand — I think it has to do with Yue, but she just always got me. She got all of us.” Sokka looked at his sister and shrugged. “You’re right. It feels wrong without her.”
“I feel like it’s my fault,” Katara muttered. “I was down there when she sacrificed herself. I should’ve been faster, I should’ve been able to help her somehow—”
“You can’t do that to yourself, Katara,” Sokka interrupted. “You did everything you could— she made the choice to stay down there.”
“Do you blame me for not helping her?” Aang asked. “Do you blame me for going down in the Avatar state?”
“Of course not,” she said with a frown. “You saved us all — we had no idea what Azula was going to do.”
Toph nodded. “And do you blame Sokka and me for not being down there?”
“No!” she exclaimed, her brows creasing even further. “How could I blame you all?”
Aang gave her a knowing look and she chuckled lightly as she nodded. “Oh. I see what you’re doing.”
“If you can’t blame us for it, then you can’t blame yourself for what happened to Y/N.” Aang gave her a small smile. “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself anyways. You know that.”
“Just because I know it doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept,” Katara sighed. She fiddled with her hands as she stared down at the ground, a question weighing on her mind that she could barely bring herself to ask.
“Do you think she’s still…?” Katara trailed off again, but the implication was obvious as it hung heavily in the air.
“She has to be,” Aang said, and he sounded so sure of himself it was hard to think otherwise. “There’s no other option than her being okay.”
Toph nodded. “She’s tough. You said she was a servant there before all of this, right? If she’s handled the Fire Nation before, she can do it again.”
Katara nodded as well, offering another soft smile to her friends in thanks for their efforts. “Yeah. She’ll be fine.”
She didn’t know if she believed her words, to tell the truth. But she kept repeating them to herself in her head, hardly paying attention as the rest of the group idled onto another topic of conversation.
“Wherever you are,” she murmured so quietly no one could hear, “I hope you know that I miss you.”
-
Zuko stared up at the ceiling, his eyes burning from a lack of rest but his mind unable to shut off. It was almost funny, how he dragged through each day completely exhausted, yet once the night came he could never find the sweet release of sleep.
Nights like these had become far more frequent than they should have, his habits becoming so unhealthy even Mai was beginning to worry. He let out a frustrated growl as he sat up, running one of his hands through his unkempt hair, shaggy layers continuing to grow the more he ignored it.
“Guess your lies aren’t helping you sleep as much as you thought they would.”
Zuko’s head shot up at the sound of a voice, his wild eyes darting back and forth looking for the source. When he found it, his eyes widened.
“What?” His voice was low, barely more than a whisper, and for a moment he wondered if this was it, if he was really going crazy.
She was there — Y/N, his waterbender, the link to his past that he was trying so Agnidamned hard to forget—
“Did you think it would be that easy to get rid of me?” She was almost taunting him from her spot, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. Dressed in the grime-covered tunics all prisoners were forced to wear, looking just the way she had the day he visited her in the cells, it was hard to tell himself that she wasn’t really here. “I’ve always been a part of you, Zuko. You know that just as well as I do.”
“No,” he said, already on the edge of rambling, “no, you’re not—”
“Why do you keep trying to deny it?” she asked, her composed features in stark contrast to his own desperation. “You haven’t stopped thinking about me since the day I escaped the Fire Nation. Even when you’ve betrayed me, when I’m supposed to be your enemy, you bring me here like this.”
“I didn’t do anything,” he muttered, his hands clenching into fists around the fabric of his sheets. “I’m trying to forget you, and when I finally do, I’ll be free.”
She laughed mirthlessly. “That’s how you think this will go? That eventually, you’ll forget me, and you’ll be able to move on without the pesky little waterbender weighing you down.”
Y/N stood up from the wall and walked towards the bed, stopping at the foot as she crossed her arms. Zuko knew it wasn’t real, that she wasn’t real, but he could hardly keep himself from reaching out on instinct.
“You betrayed me. You betrayed your uncle. You don’t just get to forget what you did to us, go on and live your happy royal life.” She practically spit her words, and Zuko flinched. “This will destroy you from the inside out. And I hope to the spirits it does.”
“Why won’t you leave me alone?” Zuko was almost begging now, and even though he hated the desperation in his voice he couldn’t help it. “I can’t help you anymore. I have no choice, just— just leave me alone!”
Her lips quirked up in a sardonic smile as she tilted her head to the side slightly. “I’m not even here, Zuko. You did this. You did this.”
Her mockery, her taunts, her being so close and yet completely unobtainable, the fact that everything she said was true. Zuko couldn’t take it anymore, the last of his weakened façade breaking as he felt the temperature rise around him.
“Get out of my head!” he yelled, a blast of fire shooting out from his fists in a desperate effort to end this. She disappeared with the flames, leaving only a small fire in his place. Zuko had been so caught up with his own mind’s creation that he almost forgot the consequences of his rage, and he darted out of his bed to smother the flames with his sheets.
He stood there, panting and staring down at the smoldering fabric with wide eyes. Zuko ran a shaky hand through his hair as he turned around, grabbing one of his bed posts to ensure his balance. He was scared, terrified — could he even tell what was real or not?
Zuko would go insane if he didn’t figure this out, he knew that much. He had to end this— this war inside of his head, and then he would finally be free.
He grabbed his cloak from the chest on the edge of his bed and shoved his arms into it, leaving the mess in his room as he closed the door as quietly as he could. After making sure he wasn’t being followed, he set off to end his turmoil, once and for all.
He needed closure.
-
“All prisoners from Block C, report to the courtyard.”
Y/N sighed as she pushed herself up from her bed, waiting a few seconds after her cell door opened to walk out and join the flow of inmates. Though her hands itched to do something, she kept them hanging loosely by her side, doing her best to blend in as just another prisoner on their walk to the courtyard.
Everything in her dismal life had blended together, the strict schedules set in place by the guards the only reason she was able to keep track of the days. Even then it wasn’t always helpful, as their block times weren’t set in stone. Some days she would end up in the courtyard in the early morning, other days she would be armed with a mop to fight against the neverending grime the moment she woke up.
It was a torturously mundane existence, but when surrounded by some of the Fire Nation’s worst criminals, Y/N found that she preferred mundane to any other option.
She squinted a bit when they entered the courtyard; despite a few weeks of the same routine, the sun still got to her every day after coming from the dark isolation of her cell. The place might’ve been hot, humid, and miserable, but it was still better than the rest of the prison.
It didn’t take her very long to learn how to survive in the Boiling Rock — she stayed silent, kept her head down, and showed zero emotion. Never show any vulnerability, and stay out of everything. She was an abnormality here as a young girl, even more so with her brand of waterbender — it was a giant target on her back, and she did whatever she could to keep it from being shot at.
“Hey!”
But sometimes, her best efforts weren’t enough.
A gruff voice rang out behind her and she tried to ignore it, hoping that it was directed at someone else. There were hundreds of prisoners, and at least half of the blocks were out at the moment. It was more likely that he wasn’t trying to get her attention—
“I said hey. You listen to me when I talk to you.”
Of course she wouldn’t be so lucky.
Y/N tentatively turned around and had to force herself to hold eye contact with the man in front of her. He looked to be a little older than her, maybe in his late twenties. With a handsome face and a sharp jawline, he was the image of a noble son she might’ve met back home but with the added fatigue from prison life. She had seen him around a couple of times, and she knew that he was nothing but trouble. She wished he didn't have a bone to pick with her.
“You’re that Water Tribe savage, aren’t you?” he sneered, taking a step towards her that in turn caused her to back up. “I heard you worked with the Avatar, that’s why you’re in here.”
“You’ve got the wrong girl,” she muttered, refusing to look away from her assailant as he continued to push forward. Y/N felt her back hit the wall and she bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, willing herself not to show any emotion.
His arm shot out, palm flat against the wall and effectively trapping her in place. “I don’t think I do,” he taunted. “I think you’re the only one who has a chance of getting out of here, but you’re just too damn weak to do anything.”
“You’re lucky I can’t bend out here,” she refuted coolly, still maintaining eye contact. “Otherwise you’d be dead where you stand.”
“Oh, we’ve got a feisty one here!” he laughed, turning and gesturing with his head towards her to get the attention of some other prisoners before bringing his attention back to Y/N, his eyes gleaming dangerously.
“You think you’re better than us, don’t you? Because you’re all about your fancy waterbending, and working with the Avatar, and being a hero. But you ended up in the same place we did, so I guess it wasn’t worth it.” He closed the distance between them, the proximity so near she could feel the heat from every exhale. She forced herself not to look away, despite every nerve in her body screaming at her to back down. “I think I gotta take you down a notch.”
He launched his fist at her before she could blink, and Y/N recoiled instantly as she took the blow to the right side of her face. Her hand immediately flew up to nurse the injury, letting out a strained gasp at the sudden pain.
“Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” the man snarled as he reeled back for another. She screwed her eyes shut, already bracing for the impact, but it never came. She heard a grunt and slowly opened her eyes to see another girl, one that couldn’t be any older than her, holding his fist in place with an iron grip. She had appeared out of nowhere, but she had saved her.
“Go pick on someone your own size,” she threatened. Y/N could see his face contorting in pain with the hold the girl had on him, and as soon as she released his hand he backed up.
“What’s your fuckin’ problem?” he snarled, squeezing his hand to regain feeling in his fingers again. “No one ever taught you how to mind your own business?”
“It’s my business when you pick on innocent people,” she countered. “Now, are you gonna get out of here, or do I have to do something a lot worse?”
The man grit his teeth as he glanced around him — no one would come to help him if he took her challenge. As he started to back away, he glared at the girl. “You’ve just made a powerful enemy.”
She rolled her eyes as he walked off, then turned to the group of prisoners that had gathered around the scene. The girl drew herself up, acting much older and intimidating than she appeared.
“Well?” she yelled, enhancing her stature as she took a step forward. “Get out of here!”
In yet another fantastical feat, the girl managed to scare the crowd off. Y/N couldn’t help as her jaw dropped, amazed at how easily she had gotten rid of not only her attacker but everyone else. She was ready to thank her savior, but when she turned around giving Y/N a full view of her face, she gasped.
“Suki?”
Warmth blossomed in her chest despite the instinctual disbelief. Y/N had always wanted to meet up with Suki again after she left to go help her warriors, but the Boiling Rock was the last place she thought they would find each other again. Was her friend really here?
“Hey.” Suki grinned as she casually leaned against the wall, taking a second to shake out her hand. “Talk about a reunion, huh?”
Suki didn’t have the chance to even breathe before Y/N lunged at her, wrapping her in the tightest embrace she could muster and relishing in the warmth of another, of someone she could actually trust.
“You’re here,” she breathed, close to tears. “I’m not alone. You’re here.”
“I’m here.” Suki responded in kind after a moment of hesitation, reciprocating the hug with the same intensity. Once Y/N pulled away, she gave her a sideways smile, though her coyness was lessened by the softness in her eyes. “How’d you get unlucky enough to end up here?”
Y/N rubbed her injury, already able to feel the swelling, and shook her head. “Tui’s gills. There’s… a lot to unpack.”
She shrugged and gestured to her surroundings. “We’ve got time.”
She managed a small smile of her own and mirrored Suki’s lean against the wall as she sighed. “Well… It all started in Ba Sing Se.”
-
Zuko was familiar with the Capital City prison by now. He’d visited Y/N once before and his uncle far too many times after, but after Azula caught him one night, he decided to play it safe. Despite her promise not to tell anyone, he didn’t trust her. He had his childhood mantra for a reason.
The guards were familiar with his disguise, allowing him in without any trouble, but once he reached the block he remembered Y/N to be in, he was met with a guard he’d never seen before. He looked young, far too young to be on guard duty in a prison like this, but Zuko didn’t really care. It meant it would be easier to get what he wanted.
“You can’t be here, sir,” the guard said, snapping up to attention as he finally sensed his presence. “This block of the prison doesn’t accept visitors—”
Zuko took off his hood and the man’s eyes widened, an apology tumbling out immediately.
“I’m so sorry, Prince Zuko! Please, forgive me— I’m new and I was never told that you—”
“Save it,” he grumbled, but as he got closer to the cell, a frown twisted his features. The inhabitant was a large, muscular man, and in the moment he was thankful he was asleep so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Zuko turned to the guard and glared at him. “Where is she?”
“Who?”
“The waterbender, the prisoner that worked with the Avatar!” he snapped, that wild desperation in his eyes growing once again. “Where is she? This is her cell!”
“She isn’t here anymore!” the guard rushed out, his hands raised up slightly at his sides in some sort of defense. “She hasn’t been here for weeks— she was transferred out with the last block of prisoners to make room for the rioters.”
“Where was she sent?” he demanded.
“I don’t know!” he practically whimpered out, and when Zuko grabbed his collar, ignited a flame in his free hand and held it up to his face, his eyes widened even more. “I swear, I don’t know! Princess Azula authorized it herself; she didn’t tell anyone about the specifics!”
Azula.
Zuko let him go with a growl, already beginning to stalk off before he stopped and turned partially. “I was never here. And if you spread word of it to a single person, I’ll make sure you—”
“I promise, Prince Zuko,” he said, still terrified, “it won’t leave this room.”
He all but stormed off, his hands clenching into fists at his side as his feet carried him to a place he was far more familiar with. Zuko was back in the palace soon enough, and he didn’t even bother to knock as he barged into his sister’s room.
“What is your problem?” he seethed, barely contained rage simmering just below the surface.
Azula frowned as she sat up, and she brushed her loose locks out of her face as her eyes settled on Zuko. “How kind of you to wake me up like this.”
“I don’t have time for your games,” he spat. “Why did you transfer Y/N out?”
She rolled her eyes as she glared at him. “This is really what you choose to bother me with? You don’t even try to hide it anymore, Zuko. It’s pathetic, truly.”
“Why did you transfer her out?” he repeated.
“I’m doing you a favor,” Azula snarled, the interruption starting to get to her. “You’re not strong enough to let go of her by yourself, so I’m trying to help you get rid of her. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re still holding onto her — the only way for you to truly thrive is for her to be out of the picture.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” Zuko seethed.
“It may not be, but you refuse to make any of the changes necessary of your position.” Azula shook her head, something genuine in her eyes. “You were made for this life, Zuko, not one with that Water Tribe peasant. Don’t throw it away because of her.”
Zuko couldn’t find anything to say to her, like his anger had fizzled out after a night of burning red hot. She didn’t seem to care.
“Now,” Azula laid back down on her pillows, “don’t bother me with this talk anymore. Especially not in the middle of the night.”
Zuko fumed as he stormed out of her room, quickly finding his way back to his own. The second he stepped past the threshold, he nearly lost it.
He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout, cry, do anything, but all he felt was unwavering numbness. Zuko settled on the edge of his bed and took the headpiece that kept his topknot together out of his pocket, and he pressed the pad of his finger against the point of one of the flames. All it provided was a dull pain, and suddenly he could barely even stand the sight of it. He didn’t deserve the mark of a prince.
Zuko opened the drawer on his bedside table, about to throw it in without a care, when he noticed the only other belonging in the compartment.
A simple children’s book, the edges rolled up and the spine broken in from a loving owner. His heart stopped as he took it in.
Keiko and the Koalaotter. A wilted and dried petal from a silver wisteria. A scribbled heart done with Zuko’s own ink, now old and faded but undeniably from her.
Something inside of him broke at the sight, and he stared at the ground as his fist tightened around the headpiece. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and it made it hard to breathe as his chest tightened.
This was a mistake. All of it, the life that he thought was his destiny— it was all a mistake.
How the hell was he going to fix this?
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