#i can not believe this happened!!

[acabecca]

idk if anyone still follows me from my days in the following fandom, back when my url was miikewestons, but the best thing happened yesterday… i met shawn ashmore!!! honestly one of the nicest celebs i’ve ever met at one of these cons. i was so nervous i thought i was gonna throw up but he was so, so sweet and put me right at ease. i actually don’t have the words to describe how amazing it was. he was so talkative to everyone who went up for his autograph and he was as talkative as he could be with us all being rushed through his photo ops. now i’m an even bigger fan than i was before and i’m off to rewatch the following 😂

#shawn ashmore #i can not believe this happened!! #whenever i’m sad now i’m just gonna be like well i’ve met mike weston sooo….

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[stuckinapril]

don't stress about that opportunity that fell through or that friend you lost or that thing you really want to happen but isn't. as long as you keep your chin up and try try try again, better things will replace your losses. i'm looking at my life rn and actually marveling at how every single thing i stressed about, whether it be an opportunity or a person, got supplanted w another thing that is so much better. it really is true that loss makes space for better things. these days i don't get sad when something doesn't work out. i get excited that i'm now open to so many other possibilities out there, so long as i actively seek them. you never lack. you just transition.

#operating from an abundance mindset is changing my life truly #i used to fight to convince myself of it but now that i see it happening in real time? it's so true and i'm soothed by it #this isn't even coming from a manifestation or religious angle bc i'm neither of those things #i just believe that a good attitude and strong work ethic can get you places if you don't let failure stop you #and don't allow the noise (other people's opinions) to weigh you down #text

[romansmartini]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships

#thinking about the larry thing again. all my life i’ve been a believer 🙏 #obviously many times of misguided beliefs were there before i like. learned how the world works. now i practice rpf discernment #but quite frankly there’s nothing like the drug of looking at star wars ot promo and being like man. #carrie fisher and harrison ford definitely fucked didn’t they. #and then for carrie fisher to drop the princess diarist and be like yeah me and harrison had the most torrid 70s affair #you can possibly imagine. #VINDICATIONNNNN #quite frankly they are the reason i still believe something similar happened with gillovny. we just need the memoir drop #rpf quiz

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #kinley #bucktommy #kinkley #tevan #pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name #anyway analysis time! #looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud #babygirl was back there getting into narnia #he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins #even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something #but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think #and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself #because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you #then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is #and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough #or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him #rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless #my edits

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!! #this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally- #changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!! #anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance

[u3pxx]

KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.

EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!

- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!

- “Sure is.”

DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?

YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”

DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!

YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.

INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.

ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.

HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!

VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”

YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”

LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.

KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”

YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”

YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”

KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."

He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”

EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.

YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.

YOU - “…”

KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.

YOU - “Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.

YOU - “KIM!!!!”

uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt

(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)

also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #den's disco swap #disco elysium role swap #HI nobody look at the fact that. i am a novice writer at best DFGHJFGH #i had idea for some comic dialogue but it ended up being this instead whoops. i mean i could still draw this as a comic #anyways. i was like. trying to reverse engineer my idea of how kim can change into his bomber jacket instead of his uniform. #which. i dont think you can do with just simple convincing bc that thing is fused to him in spirit so there has to be like a good reason wh #oh it gets ruined! how? it gets like wet or smth! how'd that happened? he threw himself into the sea #also isnt it fitting that my memory problems is making me not remember the things that happen in disco elysium very well wheezes #so whoops if the characterization is a lil off lmaoooooo #but i have been trying to figure out how i want harry to be in this swap au #i dont think he's as well as he wants you to believe he is. and just the image of him pushing this 'youre allowed to be in denial about + #this' to kim about the kineema was so vivid in my head and idk if that tracks but hell. its in there now dfghdjfg #starry don't look #sunnysidedraws #sunnysidedisco

[chloesimaginationthings]

They should let Venom and Eddie in

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #spiderverse #across the universe #atsv #venom #eddie brock #symbrock #miguel o'hara #marvel #I wanna believe this happened and is canon #come on they can help promise #the lack of venom spiderverse fanart is criminal #where my venom heads at 🔥🔥🔥

[starry-bi-sky]

danyal al ghul memes because i don't think i've done those yet for this au.

(the jason one is in reference to the fanon headcanon/au that Jason and Damian potentially knew each other and interacted while jason was in the league. I've thought about it before in context of this au, but haven't thought about it enough to feel inspired or motivated to make a post exploring the idea)

(diablito means, as you can guess, 'little devil'. while i'm neutral to latino jason, i think the nickname is cute as fuck and was danny's main nickname from Jason. i don't wanna touch that timeline so im not gonna decide how old they were when Jason was there.)

Skulker: i am the ghost zone's greatest hunter! i capture and hunt creatures both rare and dangerous. Danyal: a poacher?? you're a poacher?? you poach animals??Skulker:...i sense i've made a mistake of some kind.

anyways that was the day that Skulker cemented himself as Danny's no.1 opp, and still remains there to this day even if he and Vlad are both viciously fighting for second. Out of everyone in the the AP rogues gallery, Skulker will be the first to be thrown under the bus in terms of 'o shit here comes phantom fucking RUN'.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #dpxdc memes #danyal al ghul #dpdc #truly the epitome of “i dont faster than the bear i just need to be faster than YOU” #regardless of when Jason was with the league he *does* know that Danny loved Damian. don't ask me about the timeline because it'll be #*messsyyyy* and i've seen plenty of aus where jason was there while Damian as an infant so i can totally believe this could happen i just #need to do the mental gymnastics for it. not even. baby im faceplanting right into the mat and not getting up #the last meme is a tiktok sound that i found and thought was hilarious. and would also ABSOLUTELY be a story danyal would tell the #family after reuniting and developing a bond with them. damian has no recollection of this but is embarrassed nonetheless #danny spat that story out when he over heard damian claiming he doesn't have any embarrassing stories from the league. danny beat jason #to the punch and in the most deadpan voice said 'i remember you walking into my room. as a toddler. in nothing but a diaper. and picking #a marble up off the floor and holding it out. like the skull of yorick. before putting it as far down your throat as possible. i had to #stick my entire arm down your esophagus to pull it out. and save your life' before walking away #i got the ages wrong in the last image so just assume that danny recently turned seven and damian is like #18 months old #about a year and a half.

[biruesque]

Miss Utena, don't you know how much I've always despised you?

Inspo

#revolutionary girl utena #rgu #shoujo kakumei utena #sku #tenjou utena #utena tenjou #utena #himemiya anthy #anthy himemiya #anthy #utenthy #utenanthy #utena x anthy #biruesque art #these two scenes are my favorite from the anime #yes i like pain can u tell #listen i think anthy did believe that her dying would have reset the cycle or something #a way for her to save utena from her fate #it happening right after cantarella has done so much damage to my brain

[unclewaynemunson]

Pt2 to this post

'Is something wrong?' Nancy asks, not long after the two of them have taken their familiar spots on the hood of Steve's car. They're basking in what might be the last warm sunlight of the year, looking out over the quarry, at a safe distance from the edge.

It's become a tradition the two of them share, ever since they reconnected back in March. It calms them both, to just sit here and take in the view, no one around but each other. Nancy is one of the few people Steve can share a comfortable silence with: sometimes they sit here quietly for what feels like hours, side by side, listening to music or to nothing but the birds singing around them. But they also have their best conversations here: it's the place where Nancy entrusted him she wanted to break up with Jonathan; it's the place where they talked about their shared past and decided they would always love each other as friends; it's the place where they finally talked about Barbara in a way they couldn't when they were younger. It's where Nancy talked about the ghosts still haunting her and Steve talked about how lonely he sometimes felt.

Steve huffs. 'How did you guess?'

'When you frown, you always do it with your whole face,' Nancy notes. 'So it's hard to miss, really.'

Steve glances at her side profile. There's a serenity to her features that's still relatively new. It means she's healing, slowly learning how to be happy again. It means she stopped waiting for the end of the world and started believing in a real future again. It makes Steve proud of how far they both have come.

'I had a fight with Eddie,' he confesses. 'And with Dustin, I guess.'

'What happened?'

He sighs. 'It's complicated.'

'Wanna tell me about it?'

The look in her eyes is kind and inviting. Steve hesitates. He wants to, but he doesn't know if he can. It's a risk. It's scary.

But he can't imagine Nancy Wheeler ever being careless with his secrets. He can't imagine her judging him, can't imagine her being as small-minded as most people in this town.

He was planning on telling her anyway, because things had been going so well with Eddie lately and – no, he shouldn't think about that right now. But maybe it would actually be nice to talk about it with Nancy.

'So, um...' His throat feels tight and his hands are sweaty. 'I recently discovered some things about myself. I-' The words get stuck somewhere on the way to his mouth, and he clears his throat.

Nancy doesn't push, but only gives him an encouraging nod, waiting for him to find his voice again.

'I found out I like boys,' he finally manages to confess. 'And I need you to know that – that that doesn't mean that what I felt for you wasn't real. It was. I loved you, and now I fell in love with a boy. And-'

'Steve.' Nancy's hand suddenly covers his, causing him to finally jerk his head away from the view over the quarry, to focus on her face again instead.

Her eyes are wide, and she squeezes his hand.

'You don't have to explain yourself to me,' she tells him. 'We're good. But thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this.'

Steve heaves out a relieved sigh, and Nancy smiles; it's that genuine kind of smile which reveals all kinds of dimples and soft lines across her face.

'We might be more similar than you thought,' she tells him, a faint blush spreading over her cheeks.

'Really?' Her words make his breath catch in his throat. He squints at her, trying to see her in this new light. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'

She shrugs. 'I don't know. I'm not sure yet,' she admits. 'Still figuring things out.'

'Take your time, there's no rush,' he tells her. 'But...' He bumps his shoulder against hers. 'When you're done figuring it out, talk to me, okay?'

She nods. 'Okay.'

For a while, it's quiet between the two of them. Some kind of raptor circles high above them in the sky. They both follow it with their eyes until it disappears among the tree tops west of the quarry.

'Is it Eddie?'

Steve blinks dumbly a couple of times.

'Wha- what?'

'The guy you were talking about. The one you fell in love with. It's Eddie, isn't it?'

'Jesus, Wheeler, what kind of sorceress are you?' Steve exclaims.

Nancy laughs again. 'You're not being as subtle as you think,' she tells him. 'The two of you have been hooking up for a while now, haven't you?'

Steve huffs dramatically. 'This is unfair. You know everything; I can't even tell you my own secrets anymore!'

'So what happened?' Nancy asks. 'You said you had a fight with him?'

'It's fucking stupid,' he sighs. 'Dustin was getting way too excited about the fact that I was gonna be hanging out with you, so I told him I was seeing someone. Next thing I knew, he was telling Eddie all about how I was seeing a girl.' He waves his hands around to make annoyed air quotations. 'I wanted to tell Eddie it was a misunderstanding, but Dustin was there, so I couldn't out us just like that, and he looked so betrayed and heartbroken... He didn't wanna listen to me.'

Steve sighs; he still can't manage to forget that look in Eddie's eyes when Dustin delivered the big news. 'I wish I would've talked about what I felt for him earlier. I should've been honest when I had the chance, y'know. But I was afraid he wouldn't wanna label what we had, that he wouldn't feel the same way – and now we're in this whole mess. God, he must hate me right now, Nance.'

To his surprise, Nancy gives him an unexpected slap against his arm.

'Ouch, what the hell was that for?!'

'What are you even doing here with me, Steve? You should've gone after him, tell him how you feel!'

'I tried, obviously, but he didn't wanna listen to me!'

'So make him listen! You're in love with him, he obviously feels the same way about you, and you let him leave to wallow in a broken heart he doesn't even need to have!' She rolls her eyes and slides off the car, adding something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like an exasperated 'Boys!' before she pulls Steve off the car as well. 'C'mon, time to get your ass over to the trailer park. Right. Now,' she says through gritted teeth. And, well, Steve knows better than to argue with a determined - and truthfully quite terrifying - Nancy Wheeler.

Read the last part here Taglist: @withacapitalp @ultimatedreamer104 @irregular-child @jcmadgirl @estrellami-1 @myguiltyartpleasure @hallucinatedjosten @jaybren @thew1ldblueyonder @melodymeddler @alycatavatar @zoeweee @lolawonsstuff @fairy-princette @saramelaniemoon @phirex22 @krazyperson @xxsky-shockxx (I only put people on this list who explicitly asked to be tagged. That's really no problem, I love to do that so dw about asking, but I got a lot of relatively vague reactions to the previous post that i'm not gonna dissect and interpret, bc I don't wanna clog anyone's notes unwanted. So just to be clear: i consider it a huge compliment if anyone asks for a tag but please do it clearly if you do!)

#look i can and i will exploit the miscommunication trope until yall are sick and tired of it #bc steddie is actually the perfect couple for keeping that trope believable #they're idiots with terrible communication skills it's canon #they WOULD #“can't you just talk to him?” “wait what i can????” IT'S SO THEM OKAY #nancy is the only sane person here i don't make the rules #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #platonic stancy #(i love platonic stancy they mean the world to me) #(i truly didn't mean to trick anyone into reading about them this just kinda. happened. idk) #this is making me wanna write more about their friendship actually they deserve their own fic #stranger things #fruity ficlet

[canisalbus]

Love your art so much. Will you show us cool nature pics from your country? I'm literally so stoned I forgot where you live sorry.

Sure anon, why not. I'm not a photographer so the quality of these is kind of slushy at best. I like nature and wander around a little bit, but I rarely hike properly, so I don't go to that many scenic places. These are mostly from regular walks. Long post warning.

Summers are short but very green, and since we're at the arctic circle we get sunlight around the clock. Some of these were taken at midnight or early morning small hours. Most of Finland is very sparsely populated and covered in boreal forests.

Finland is a very watery country, lots of lakes in particular.

Sometimes you get intense sunsets

And winters are very cold, snowy and last about six months. In summer we have midnight sun and in winter there's the polar night to counter it. Around late December sun only rises for about two hours per day where I live so it's very dark for many, many weeks on end (which is wonderful if you get seasonal depression like I do). But sometimes the weather and lighting are just right and you get this ethereal pastel effect that I love.

#we also have northern lights pretty regularly and those can be magical but I'm not enough of a wizard to take good pictures of them #I have a friend who Photographs Nature With Intent and goes to all these natural parks to do it #but I'm not them so this is the best I can do #I particularly regret that I don't have any bog/swamp/marsh pictures to show you because they're actually really aesthetic locations #believe it or not #and an iconic part of Finnish nature #anonymous #long post #answered #lamentably the best ethereal pastel effect only happens on very cold days like from -20°C to -30°C #so if you take out your phone and remove gloves to snap a photo your phone battery dies very quickly and your fingers freeze #so it's a bit inconvenient

[egophiliac]

GRIMS COMING!!! You gonna pull for him??👀👀

I'm gonna try, but...

I have mere hours to decide if I want to make one last attempt at Malleus or save a few to try for Grim...and this is all before the new event reveal on the 16th. truly the most difficult choice of our modern times. the gacha is getting its revenge for all of my Lilias.

#art #of a sort #twisted wonderland #glorious masquerade #can't believe that malleus still won't come home two years in a row #okay. okay. so we'll get a free 10 pull for grim and then if i use ALL my keys and gems that'll get me up to...ugh. numbers. 91? #literally 9 short of a guaranteed summon. oh my god. #curse you trey why is your birthday just too late to get me another 10 set when i need it #i was really trying to ration but i still spent too many of my hoarded keys failing to get masqeralleus #my hubris... #and this is assuming that i won't even want any of the 2023 halloween ssrs which is. unlikely. #may we all get ridiculously lucky and get the fancy ssr on our first pull using the free event keys #it can happen if we all BELIEVE #(sobs)

[inkskinned]

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

#the thing i teach my preschoolers is #if something bad happens to u #and it hurts you #tell someone #and KEEP TELLING SOMEONE #UNTIL SOMEONE BELIEVES YOU #it is NEVER your fault for telling the truth #it is THEIR fault for not hearing you #if you are like me and ''attention seeking'' #please #if u can #GET HELP. GET THE HELP YOU NEED. #at some point we all have to do this on our own #it has to be our own personal work #but you DESERVE someone who will help you to do that work #a therapist a teacher a doctor whomever #YOU DESERVE HELP. #you deserve connection #and i love you #suicide implied #tw self harm

[eve-was-framed]

I used to think the “schools are transitioning kids” thing was just your average right-wing moral panic but recently a young girl in virginia was led to transition by her school without her parents knowing, was sexually harassed and threatened while using the boy’s facilities (per the schools suggestion even though they knew she was getting rape threats), ran away from home because of the bullying and harassment at school and then was sex trafficked.

at what point are the prominent activists of the trans movement going to just acknowledge that they’ve gone too far and they are hurting girls? will they ever? do they seriously not realize that this shit is causing an unbelievable amount of backlash against not just them, but gay and lesbian people as well who have nothing to do with this?

the only people calling it out are deranged right-wing media outlets because everyone else is terrified of being called a nazi and losing their job due to pressure from activists. we need more normal, level-headed people talking about this. no more endangering girls and women for the sake of a political agenda.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminists please touch #tras do not interact #I can’t believe this is actually happening this is so insane #can we please all just be normal

[b4kuch1n]

same teacher, different lessons

transcript

#sonic the hedgehog #dr. ivo eggman robotnik #miles tails prower #sonic frontiers #SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY. #SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS #smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life #(I can I totally can) #hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't! #don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again #I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn #one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in #this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol #because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions #I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!! #and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop #vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes #thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this #I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work #I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals #but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect #as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on #okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now #okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay #thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u #have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad #long post