at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
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more clone^2
snippet 21: Danny is Bruce Wayne's Clone and--
Star, with the rest of the A-List girls: alright ladies! it's time for our quarterly 'cutest boys' list! Now I'll get straight to the point, in our number one spot is--
All girls, in unison: Danny Fenton
Star, writing it down on a whiteboard: and for our number two spot--
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Snippet 22: clone meet clone
Ellie, dramatically: Danny!
Danny, equally dramatic: Ellie!
Ellie, pushing past him and looking around: where is he! i wanna see the little guy!
Damian, with a sword, brandishing it dangerously: *in arabic* don't come any closer, stay back!
Danny, wrapping an arm around Ellie's waist and pulling her back: woah, woah - he's still adjusting to everything
Danny, turning towards Damian with his google translate open: [please don't stab her. this is Ellie my clone.]
Damian, lowering his sword in disbelief: 'there's MORE of you?
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Snippet 23: Ellie has the same epiphany as Danny
Ellie:...hey Danny
Danny, pouring over his arabic book: hm
Ellie: since I'm your clone, and you're a clone of Bruce Wayne, and Damian is a clone of Damian Wayne, does that technically mean I'm his mom - uh. dad-mom?
Danny:
Ellie:...its a fair question
Danny: .....*deep sigh* you're his cousin until further notice.
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Snippet 24: wait for me ii (hadestown, live vers.)
(i'm not sure of the context, but i've been thinking of Danny saying this to Damian during a serious moment for days. the snippet title is the song that the dialogue below is from)
Danny, fixing up Damian's wraith suit: the meanest dog you'll ever meet
Danny, zipping up damian's jacket: it ain't the hound dog in the street. he bares some teeth and tears some skin, but brother,
Danny, adjusting Damian's gloves, pausing to look him in the eye: that's the worst of him.
Danny, he holds a finger up to Damian's eyes and points it at him: the dog you really got to dread, is the one that howls inside your head
Danny, grabbing damian's mask and smoothing it over his eyes: it's him whose howling drives men mad, and a mind to its undoing
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Snippet 25: Danny is Bruce Wayne's clone-- (Battinson Vers*)
Ember, in the middle of a fight with Phantom + Wraith:
Ember, knocks off Phantom's mask for the first time: lets see what ugly mug you're really hiding under there, Phantom--
Phantom: *the wettest, most pathetic looking pretty boy on the planet*
Ember:
Phantom, dryly: what, did your mic die out or something? all that caterwauling finally make you lose your voice
Wraith, unsheathing his sword: *vibrating with baby brother rage bc he knows EXACTLy why Ember is silent*
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Snippet 26: Damian is finally starting to play nice :)
Dany: hey... guys.... whatcha doing
Damian, hanging out with Sam: Me and Manson are plotting ways to crush the Mayor's plan to cut budget funding for the city parks and cut down the native trees
Danny: oh, i see.... is this safe?
Sam: probably
Danny: hm.
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Snippet 27: digging up cold case
Danny: ....if Damian is out with Sam tonight with their plot against the mayor....
Danny, turning towards his desk: then that means I can work some more on Mrs. Witherbury's murder case that she asked me to solve without Dames guilt-tripping me into bed :)
Danny, settling down at his desk with a thermos full of coffee: i'm glad sam and damian are finally getting along
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Snippet 28: sparring
Damian, frowning: your reflexes are incredible but your combat is downright awful, brother. it's truly a miracle i didn't skewer you upon our first meeting
Danny, got his ass kicked by his 7yo brother: *groaning in pain* not everyone has super secret assassin training, Damian. And I don't really have time to actually practice anything.
Damian: Mrs. Fenton knows martial arts and her form is proficient enough, I'm sure she would be delighted to teach you if you asked. I will join since I need to keep my skills sharp and my training was unfinished when I arrived here.
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Snippet 29: daytime surprise
Phantom, fighting Skulker in broad daylight: *under his breath* at least Lancer's english test will get canceled for this...
Phantom, dodging a blast from Skulker: *in ASL, furious* don't you have anything better to do, you fuck!?
Skulker: foolish ghost child, speak! I know you're capable of it - speak before you lose the ability to
Phantom: *flips him off instead*
Wraith, sending back a ecto-blast with his sword: please pay attention, phantom
Phantom, doubletaking: *in a hissed whisper* what are you doing here!? it's a school day, you should be at school!
Wraith: Tt. If the boot fits.
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Snippet 30: guilt
Danny with his head on his desk, his elbows propped up as he massages his hands: hn
Damian, lurking to the side with a guilty look on his face:
Damian: can i....
Danny, silently holding his hand out to Damian: hrm
Damian, immediately taking it and doing the massages + finger exercises: ...im sorry
Danny: hm... I forgive you
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