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mummybear · 7 months

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My Brother's Best Friend - Part 3 - Explanations

Words: 6287

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Tiny Bit Of Smut, Multiple Heart To Heart, Protective Scott, Possessive Stiles, Jealously, Talk Of Marking, Talk Of Mates. Think that's it.

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Reader/Sadie McCall, Lydia Martin, Liam Dunbar, Allison Argent, Melissa McCall, Derek Hale.

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski and Reader

Summary: A little bit more of the truth is revealed and things get heated between Stiles and Sadie, not in all positive ways. Just how much can Sadie take?

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I know I missed a week there, had a busy week at work! And hopefully this extra long chapter will make up for it, I was going to cut it into two chapter but I felt it flowed better as one, so I hope that's okay! Please let me know what you think, really hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 3 - Explanations

Scott’s whispered confession reaches your ears and you collapse against him almost immediately. Being turned was the one thing Stiles had insisted that he would never want, and he’d become increasingly adamant as the years had gone on. You can’t help but worry how this has affected their friendship, this was a pretty big thing to come between two friends. You also need to find out just how badly it’s currently affecting the two of them individually. They were two of the most important people in your life, which only made hearing all of this that much harder.

Scott pulls back to look at you as soon as you’ve recovered from the shock. You know that he needs to talk, to get this off of his chest, so you don't say anything in reply. You're slightly unsure of what to say right now anyway, because he’d done it, you knew he wasn’t lying, he’d bitten Stiles and that only meant one thing.

Besides, It's not like you can argue with him, because given his choices and his abilities, you would've done the same thing, especially in the heat of the moment. Knowing your brother the way you do, you know how hard it was for him to make that decision. He’d never wanted to turn anyone, let alone somebody who couldn’t make the decision for themselves.

A fleeting thought crosses your mind, does Stiles still have the beginnings of his mothers condition? Or had his new werewolf side shielded him from that reality? But Scott speaking pulls you from your thoughts.

"Trust me, nobody can hate me more than I hate myself for what I did that day. I know it was selfish, I do. But I couldn't lose my best friend, Sadie. Not like that, not when I had the chance to save him."

You hug him again, making sure to squeeze him extra tight.

"I won't tell you that you made the wrong decision, Scott, because that would make me a hypocrite. I'm pretty sure in your position I would've done the same. But have the two of you spoken about any of this? The guilt you're clearly feeling? Are you guys okay?"

"Sorry, I’m just worried about you, well, both of you." You mumble under your breath, pulling back to look at him. You're sure that your wince is visible as soon as the words leave your lips.

Not that Scott shows any sign of being overwhelmed by your inquisition, nothing new there though. He simply gives you a fond smile as he looks you over, as if contemplating if you can handle his next words.

"Typical, Sadie. Always thinking of everyone else, never yourself.” Scott sighs softly, before he continues.

“Stiles knows how I feel and why I feel it, and he gets it. We've talked at length about this, trust me, I think he’s sick of me asking at this point. He isn't happy about what I did, not by a long shot, but he's had time to process and he understands why I did what I did." Before Scott can continue he groans in pain and clenches his teeth.

You quickly grab his shoulders and force him to look at you. "I guess I got it from my big brother, huh?” You state matter of factly, trying your best to distract him from whatever pain he’s feeling but you watch as he balls his hands into fists, clearly doing his best to ignore whatever is wrong. Then you watch as his face begins to contort in pain, instantly worrying you.

“Scott, what Is it?" You demand as the worry tightens your stomach almost painfully. He reaches out and quickly grabs the couch and his claws start protruding from the tips of his fingers.

"I hate to ask you this, Sadie. But I need you to go down to the basement with me. Stiles needs you, he's in pain and he and I, our connection, it’s diff…" Scott's sentence is cut off when he moans, grabbing at his head and dropping to the floor.

You don't even think as you leave your brother, making a run for it, heading towards the basement door. You rip the door open and charge down the stairs, flinging open the final door as soon as it’s in reach.

"Stiles?" You call out as soon as you round the corner, but you come to a halt as soon as your eyes fall on the man in question, he’s chained to the wall in front of you. Growling low and sinister the closer you get to the men. You glance at Derek and Liam standing off to the side, looking like they’re ready to pounce at the slightest hint of trouble, and move away a little.

Lydia quickly grabs your hand and pulls you with her all the way to the other side of the room, with Allison and your mom.

You very quickly realise that you can't look away from Stiles. His eyes are a much deeper purple than you had initially seen earlier. Maybe they changed depending on the situation and perhaps his emotions played a part in it too. Simply another thing you were yet to find out.

You finally allow yourself a real look at him and the man he’s become. Your eyes move over him slowly, taking your time to check him out. He's certainly not the same Stiles Stilinski that you remember. He looks mouth-wateringly good, even covered in dirt and blood, his corded muscles ripple as he strains against the restraints, his clothes clinging tightly to his sweat-soaked body. You’re unable to get over how he was still the skinny defenceless boy you’d fallen in love with. His hair is a little longer than it was the last time he’d been home. Yet another thing you’d failed to notice. Stiles had you so distracted earlier tonight that you’d barely managed to pay attention to anything, except the things he was doing to you. You didn’t give much thought to how much he had changed.

"Mine." Stiles growls suddenly for the second time tonight. Hearing that word again snaps you from your admiration of him, especially when he begins to thrash in his chains to get to you.

However, the tighter he pulls against his bindings the more blood drips from his elbows, but he either doesn’t care or he doesn’t seem to notice. Almost like the rage had consumed him. Stiles doesn’t even seem like himself right now, It’s almost like he’s possessed. And It’s killing you to watch him like this, to see him hurting himself in this way. The fact that it’s because of you doesn’t escape your notice.

You swallow thickly as you step closer to him, almost like you’re hypnotised by him once again. Except that this time you're very aware of the pull, so you don't put up any resistance. You wince when you catch sight of just how deep the handcuffs and chains have cut into his wrists. You’re really hoping that Stiles heals just as quickly as Scott, or he’s gonna be in a lot of pain for quite a few days at least.

"Let him free, please. I need him out of there and so does my brother." You whisper to nobody in particular, eyes locked on Stiles’.

"We can't, Mini. I’m sorry, really. But we don't know what he'll do. He isn’t himself right now and we need to wait for Scott. Alpha’s orders." His words are careful, almost like he’s worried about upsetting you. Apparently he’s right to be worried about your reaction, because suddenly anger creeps up your spine, almost as if it isn't your own and you round on the Beta.

"I said let him the fuck out. Now. It's hurting him and my brother. So your Alpha can’t exactly speak for himself right now. So do it, let him out.” Your voice is practically a growl as you march up to Liam and shove him back against the wall. He holds his hands up to try and placate you, for some reason that just makes your anger spike higher. Your hands tighten in his jacket as you shove him back harder. “Or we can find out what happens if you really piss me off."

Anger is thick in every one of your senses. Although now this anger is one hundred percent your own. It’s a feeling you’re all too familiar with, though not at this intensity. It’s the feeling of needing to protect something that’s yours, so even though you might not have the same power as the people in this room, it is something you can’t stop yourself from trying to do.

You feel everyone’s eyes on you. Of course they don’t look overly concerned about you hurting anyone. It’s probably just that they don’t like seeing you upset, you quickly glance at Derek, “just wait okay, I’ll go get Scott.”

You give Derek a stiff nod in return, watching him leave until the door closes behind him. No matter how much you try to calm yourself, it feels like the anger and despair are drowning you. It’s beginning to scare you now, there’s no controlling it, your hands shake as you screw your eyes shut, searching for some semblance of calm.

"Don't do this, this isn’t you, Sadie. It's okay, I’m okay. Breathe for me, please." You spin around hearing his raspy breathless voice and once again your eyes lock with Stiles.

His eyes have returned to the chocolate brown colour you've always loved. "Stiles," you sigh in relief. Taking a deep breath and stumbling back a little, as the anger seems to leave you in a dizzying rush, almost as if Stiles had helped you gain control of your emotions. But that’s not possible, right?

Your mother wraps her arms around you, right as Scott stumbles into the room with Derek’s arm wrapped around his waist to hold him up.

"He's back. For everyone's sake let him out." Scott’s breathless as Derek releases him and helps him lean against the wall to catch his breath.

Allison quickly undoes Stiles' chains with the key that she’d been tightly clutching the whole time, and with a nod from your brother Lydia and Liam rush to grab Stiles as he collapses under his own weight. You have to look away when Stiles rests his head on Lydia’s shoulder, jealousy and sadness hit you all at once, like a punch to your gut. Turning around in your mother’s arms you wrap yours around her too, burying your face in her shoulder.

Suddenly goosebumps raise at the back of your neck, “not now, Stiles. Sadie needs rest. Now that you’re back to yourself. I hope you understand that.” Your arms tighten around her, and you thank the stars that Melissa McCall is your mother, she has this ability to sense what you need before you even say anything.

Without another word she turns you both and wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her body tighter, as she leads you out of the room. You follow silently, unsure of what to say. This day has already been completely crazy, you just need a little time and space to process everything. It’s so damn late you’re surprised the sun hasn't started rising yet.

As soon as the two of you walk inside your room you collapse on the bed, throwing an arm over your eyes, but you can feel your mom watching you.

“Can we not talk about it, momma. I just need the rest of the night to myself, we can talk tomorrow, okay? I promise I’ll be fine.”

You inwardly flinch as the images of all the times you’ve seen Stiles and Lydia together flash through your mind on an unforgiving loop.

“Sure baby girl, you’ve got it. But you need anything, you know where I am.” She gives your leg an affectionate squeeze before heading out of the room, with a sigh you close your eyes and roll onto your, doing your best to sleep. Feeling a tear roll down your cheek as the images continue to assault your senses.

Some Time Later That Night

You wake suddenly, hearing the creek of the bedroom door as it opens slowly. You sit up and quickly turn on the bedside light, squinting at the brightness it brings. Your heart hammers in your chest as you feel yourself beginning to panic. Then a mop of brown hair appears around the door, “sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to talk, or sit, or I guess just be near you. If that’s okay? This is… I sound like an idiot, I just-” you cut him off, unable to stop yourself from giggling at him, his cheeks are bright pink and he looks so nervous. Which is so strange with how he looks now, but it’s also so much like the Stiles you used to know.

“Come in, sit down. Dork,” you smile, patting the bed beside you trying to pretend all he is your brother’s best friend coming to talk, and completely ignoring the fact that you’d been making out a few hours ago.

He watches you closely, almost like he’s worried about scaring you off if he moves quickly.

“You sure? I couldn’t sleep, I just… I guess I just need to be near you, if you don’t mind that is. I don’t want to overstep, guess I thought we could talk.” He’s rambling and fiddling with his own fingers as he watches you closely.

You carefully lay your hand on top of his when he sits beside you on your bed.

“Stiles, It’s okay that you’re nervous. I am too, this whole thing is kind of crazy.”

“You have no idea just how crazy it is. Scott said he told you what happened to me. With this,” he says as he waves his hand over his body.

“This is so strange to talk about, I never saw all of this in my future. Even though I don’t even know what this is exactly. Deaton has some running theories. Unfortunately none of us have anything concrete to go on right now.”

“Can I ask where Scott…” you can’t finish the sentence, unsure if it’s rude to ask about his mark.

Stiles swallows hard and nods, meeting your eyes, he shrugs off his hoodie and extends his arm. The mark is half way up his forearm, and to your surprise it’s still visible. You vividly remember how Scott’s had disappeared pretty quickly after he’d been bitten by Peter.

“Yeah, I kinda got that you’re not just any kind of wolf, you’re different. Right?” you ask as he links his fingers with your own.

Stiles leans back against the headboard and you do the same, turning so that you look him in the eyes. This feels good, like he trusts you, like he wants to confide in you, it’s something you’d always wanted. To feel like you could be there for him when he needed somebody the most.

“I was starting to get used to it, the whole wolf thing. Well, as much as was possible. But then I saw you and something changed, it was like I couldn’t control myself, I needed to get to you. I know you probably don’t want to talk about this, but when I found that douche in that room with you, I lost it. The thought of him touching you made me feel sick, the fact that you clearly weren’t interested both helped and made things so much worse. I wasn’t just angry as your brother’s best friend or even as your friend.” He reaches up and cups your cheek with his free hand, “I didn’t want his filthy fucking hands anywhere near you. I had to have you, make you mine. Possess you, mark you,” he rasps, his voice becoming breathy and laboured, and the purple in his eyes flashes again, before quickly returning to brown.

You swallow thickly, arousal and nerves swimming inside you like an uncontrollable force. “What about now?” you whisper, leaning in a little bit closer.

“Right now, I can’t lie. Those thoughts haven’t changed, they’re still there, no matter how much I try to push them down. The more time we spend together, the harder it gets to ignore, and it gets harder by the second not to throw you on this bed and make you mine.” He all but growls before clearing his throat.

Stiles gives you a wry smile as he shakes his head. “But now I’m in control of myself, I won’t do anything, not until you know everything. I won't let you do anything more with me, not until you know as much as we do.”

“Wow,” you whimper, clenching your thighs together as his words continue to stoke the fire inside you. You clear your throat and take a shuddered breath when Stiles subconsciously edges a little closer to you, so that your thighs are touching.

“What, you’re not even going to kiss me?” The words leave your parted lips in a breathy whisper.

“No.” His words are sharp and blunt. You wish it didn’t turn you on more but it does.

“What else do I need to know?” you question quietly. Licking your lips as you watch him closely, wishing that you could just get this out of the way and get to the good stuff.

His thumb brushes your bottom lip, “stop doing that for starters, beautiful.”

“Why’s that?”

He chuckles quietly. “I think you know exactly why, so stop being a smart ass.”

Your nose brushes against his as you lean in the last little bit, “maybe you should tell me what I need to know Agent Stilinski, then we can get down to business.”

“Ugh, come on you little minx. Don’t do that to me,” Stiles groans, brushing his nose over yours softly.

“Just a little taste,” you whisper before moving in and pressing your lips to his. Stiles sighs in defeat and pulls you closer.

“Fine. You win for now…” Stiles mumbles, pulling away briefly to meet your eyes, “but we’re not doing anything permanent. Not until we talk.”

“Yes Sir,” you grin, throwing off your duvet and climbing into his lap. The sleep shorts you’d pulled on before bed pull tight against your ass as you settle your knees either side of his hips.

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, letting everything you have ever felt for him pour into the kiss. He holds you close, wrapping his arms around you as his tongue moves to brush against yours. The kiss quickly deepens and you feel his fingers beginning to dig into your skin soft harshly, but it only makes you want him more. You whimper as the passion intensifies and you feel like your heart is about to beat out of your chest. You can’t get close enough to him for your liking, It’s almost like you want to be a part of him.

“Please,” you moan against Stiles’ lips as he pulls your hips tighter against his.

The rigid length of his thick cock settles between your thighs, and you can’t help but whimper as you experimentally roll your hips over him.

“Don’t, Sadie.” Stiles demands, his eyes glowing purple once more, only this time the colour doesn’t leave his eyes and you quickly stop your movements.

Stiles tightly grips your ass now in both hands and his fingers dig into your bare skin. You cup his cheeks and watch him closely as you tell him what you need to. Both of you breathing heavily against each other's lips, then the lust that was thick in the room quickly begins to fade.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry, we should talk.” You sigh regretfully, looking down into your lap as you drop your hands to his chest.

“Hey. Look at me,” Stiles asks you, moving his hands up and gently squeezing your hips.

“I guess I’ve just wanted this for so long, you and me I mean. I never even considered you’d look in my direction.” You look up to meet his eyes, instead you find him chewing on his lower lip. “What?”

“How long?” Stiles asks as his thumbs rub soothing circles into your hips.

“What does that matter?” You ask nervously, looking at the wall behind him, too afraid to meet his eyes.

“I’m just interested. I never noticed anything, you never said anything.”

“Come on, Stiles. You’re my big brother’s best friend. I’m just some huge cliche. Not to mention the fact that you’ve been in love with Lydia for so many years. I accepted a long time ago that I never stood a chance. Maybe this thing between us will just fizzle out soo-”

Stiles cuts you off when his lips meet yours, you squeeze your eyes shut as a tear rolls down your cheek. You wrap yourself around him tighter, doing your best to hold onto whatever this is for as long as possible. Stiles threads his fingers through your hair as he attempts to pull you closer. Both clinging to each other as you pour everything you have into a kiss once again, too worried this will be your last. Stiles pulls away slowly, giving your lips a final soft peck.

“I might not know everything about us just yet, but don’t say that we’re temporary. I’d never do that, not to you. I don’t want you ever even thinking that ever again. This is exactly why I said we needed to talk.”

You sigh and rest your forehead against his, “okay, so talk.”

“Okay. So I guess we should start from the beginning. Back when Scott turned eighteen he started having these urges. They were so intense and he really struggled to stop himself from taking every opportunity to be with Alison. When I say be with Alison I mean like be with her,”

“Okay, eww. Stop with the visuals I get it.”

Stiles clears his throat, failing miserably to hide his laugh before continuing. “Anyway, it didn’t matter where they were or who they were with, they couldn’t stop themselves. Frankly I almost threw up on several occasions, frankly I’m surprised that you didn’t notice. Anyway, it only got worse, he started getting visions, he was unbelievably possessive and protective of her and anyone who was around her got the brunt of it, specifically men.” Stiles gives you a sheepish smile as he pulls back to look at you.

“Okay, so some of this sounds familiar…” you trail off, admiring the way he looks in that moment.

“Right, I’m getting to that. So, when Alison started acting out, feeling things that were far from the usual, experiencing not only her emotions but Scott’s as well, amongst a bunch of other things you’ll probably soon notice with us, he went to Deaton for help. Scott asked Deaton if he knew what the hell was going on with him and with Allison, especially since she wasn’t a wolf. As it turns out the good doctor had some idea, he’d been doing some more research into the whole true Alpha thing, while the research is limited, for obvious reasons, it did mention something about the true Alpha and their pack having mates. Where regular werewolves aren’t heard to have mates specifically, Scott is different, and by extension so is anyone in his pack. More specifically the wolves he has turned will be the ones more likely to be affected.” You can almost feel his excitement the more he talks, and his grip on you tightens.

You gently pry his hands off of you, doing your best to ignore the hurt look that crosses his face when you climb off of his lap, moving to sit beside him instead.

You’re pretty sure that you’re starting to connect the dots, as much as you want to listen, you can’t deny that you’re becoming increasingly nervous the more that he talks.

“Please, don’t run. Not again. I know this is alot to take in, but…” you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“I’m not gonna run, Stiles. This is just a lot, and it only confirms everything I was worried about to begin with.” You sigh, rubbing your hands over your face. Stiles carefully and hesitantly wraps an arm around your waist and tries to pull you closer.

You can’t deny the comfort you feel being close to him, his skin touching yours only adds to everything you feel.

“Okay. It’s your turn to talk, what exactly is it that you’re worried about?” Stiles asks, turning your face so that you’re looking at him.

You feel a tear roll down your cheek as soon as your eyes clash with his, “let’s be honest here, Stiles. If it wasn’t for this whole mate bond thing, would you have even looked at me twice, in a way that wasn’t like I was your sister? Can you honestly tell me that anything would have changed between us if Scott hadn’t been forced to bite you that day?”

Your heart hammers painfully in your chest as you watch him, you can see the unease written all over his face. However, that only serves to prove your point and that just breaks your heart that much more.

“It doesn’t matter how things used to be, Mini, things damn well change. And we don’t know what would’ve happened. Please, don’t talk like this. It feels like you’re saying goodbye before anything even has a chance to start between us.” Cupping your face he wipes your tears away carefully. “Please, stop crying.”

“Well we don’t know that now do we!?” You can’t keep your voice down, there are too many emotions swirling inside you uncontrollably.

You jump off of the bed and start pacing your room, fully aware that Stiles is yet to take his eyes off of you. Hearing you bed creek you turn to face the movement, watching as he slowly walks towards you.

“Goddamit Sadie! Just stop. I get that you don’t understand how any of this works, well neither do I, not really! Not first hand! I understand that you don’t see that I could go from not seeing you the way I do now, seemingly out of nowhere. But it was like a bolt of lightning hit me the second I saw you tonight. I laid eyes on you and everything made sense, I know that you don’t completely understand, but surely you feel it?”

“Of course I feel it! I’ve felt it for the last decade of my life! My feelings didn’t just appear overnight! They only got stronger. And It fucking hurts, Stiles!”

“Then why can’t we give this thing a go! Just let me try, please! You don’t know what this mate bond means. At least let me explain that. If you don’t want to talk to me, then ask your brother or Allison, I’m trying here okay! Just tell me what I can do?” Stiles begs, stilling your pacing when he gently takes you by the arms.

“I want to talk to you about this, whatever this is… I just don’t know what to make of all of it.”

Running your hands through your hair you inwardly groan knowing what you’re about to say.

“But first I need to ask you something, and I want only honest answers. Even if it means that I won't like what you say, because I need to know that I can trust you. Especially If we do go through whatever needs to be done to complete this mate bond.”

“How do you know you need to do something to complete the bond?” Stiles asks, a slight grin kicking up the corner of his lips.

“Stiles,” you sigh, folding your arms across your chest.

“Okay, sorry. Go ahead, I promise I’ll be honest whatever that means for us, I won’t lie.” He looks nervous, but there’s a determination you can see written all over his face.

“Do you still have feelings for Lydia?” Your voice remains even and steady, no matter how much you’re dreading the answer to that question. One thing you’re sure of though is that you can read Stiles like a book, always have been able to. Or maybe he just wasn't a very good liar, you just hoped he hadn’t honed that particular skill while working with the FBI.

Stiles smiles at you and shakes his head.

“Honestly, no I don’t, at least not in the same way that I used to. A few years back Lydia talked to me about it, the guys had been joking with me about it, she overhead and pulled me to one side. We talked for a while and I realised my feelings weren’t the same as they used to be, sure I still love her, but only in the same way that I love Allison, that’s it.” He takes your hand and places it over his heart. His heartbeat remains steady and controlled, and his eyes stay locked with yours.

You’re so shocked that you just stare at him for a full minute with your mouth open, but then he begins to look a little too smug so you decide to speak.

“So, let’s say I believe you. Did Deaton say Scott and Allison needed to do something to complete the mating bond? Or was it just a sure thing the minute Scott turned eighteen?” you ramble, fully aware these questions are practically spilling from your mouth.

“I’m guessing you’re using your brother and Allison to try and distance yourself from this. I’ll play along with it.” Stiles agrees reluctantly, and you hate that you have to use your brother and his girlfriend as cover, but you need to distance yourself from the situation a little.

“Deaton’s research indicated that a lot of the myths and stories around werewolves aren't so crazy. As it turns out there’s actually a lot of truth behind them. A werewolves mate is its other half, almost like a soulmate. So when they finally find each other it’s usually instinctual to mark each other. Obviously, like I said, Scott is different. Mates haven’t been mentioned in decades amongst wolves, not until now. So far It’s only been Scott and our pack that we know of, but still, it also means that not both halves are always wolves. Like with Scott and Allison, and you and me.” Silence surrounds the pair of you as you stare at him, he smiles and tucks a finger under your chin to close your mouth.

You frown when Stiles’ smile suddenly drops, and he seems to be contemplating telling you something. However, then you hear him sigh and he screws his eyes shut. When he does open them you see his nervousness and worry staring back at you.

“I should also tell you something else. Something I wish so badly I could lie to you about, because right now I’m terrified you’ll want to choose this option. But I meant what I said, I won’t force you into this, and definitely not without all of the information.”

“Okay. I’m listening. But don’t be so sure I’ll take the easy route.” You smile, trying to reassure him somehow.

Stiles seems to ignore your words, and the worry doesn’t lift from his face as he scrubs a hand over it before speaking.

“You can refuse to be my mate. You can reject me and I can reject you. We also both have the option to refuse or accept the rejection. But I promise you here and now that if you chose to reject me I would accept it. If that was what you wanted, I won’t stop you. But I will NEVER reject you. I need you to understand that whatever happens, It won't be me rejecting you.”

“Is it painful? To reject someone I mean? How would we even do that?” you ask with confusion lacing your tone.

Stiles winces as at your reply and looks down at his hands, which he quickly tucks in his pockets.

“If that’s what you want to do, I understand. But the selfish part of me can’t explain to you how to do it. So you’ll need to get Deaton to explain it properly, I wouldn’t want you to mess it up, not if you truly wanted to do it. But yes, it is. It’s apparently the worst pain a wolf can experience.”

“And you’d do that? For me?” you ask in disbelief stepping closer.

“I’d fucking die for you Sades. What’s a bit of pain?”

Your heart practically breaks at that statement, the look on his face alone could shatter you right then and there, so you decide to try and change the subject. Especially since you have no intention of rejecting him either.

“Wow this is a lot,” you half laugh in disbelief, running a nervous hand through your hair.

“As soon as I caught your scent, my mouth watered and I knew instantly what you were to me, even before I knew who you were. Then I saw you, and that need to make you mine was so insistent and constant that I felt it everywhere. But I wouldn’t ever do that to you, not without you having full knowledge of the situation. I was doing okay at keeping my cool, but then we kissed and I lost it.”

“Has Scott marked Allison?” you ask swallowing thickly when you don’t find yourself completely against the idea.

“Sure has, right here,” he rasps as he trails his finger along your collarbone.

“Scott wanted it where everyone could see it.”

He licks his lips as your heart rate increases, you take a step back as he advances on you, until your back hits the wall.

You clear your throat as you look into his eyes once more, “have you thought about where you would mark me, if we did go ahead with this whole mating thing?”

“You little Minx are playing with fire right now. But since we’re being honest, I haven’t thought about much else. So don’t tease me.”

“C’mon! Tell me, please,” you whisper, unintentionally leaning into his touch.

Stiles chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully, you can feel his eyes roam across any uncovered skin, almost like it burns under his gaze. He hums thoughtfully as he traces several places with his fingers. He starts by tracing the line between your neck and shoulder, before he slowly moves down, lingering on the curve of your breast a little longer than necessary and your heart rate speeds up as he makes his way down your body. His eyes saying everything that his mouth won't.

“So many perfect places,” he mumbles, moving next to trace the line of your hip where your t-shirt has ridden up, lastly he moves between your thighs, tracing along your inner thigh keeping his touch high. He’s so close to your pussy that you can feel an intense heat beginning to overtake you when his fingers dig into your skin.

“Guess it depends just how badly I want people to know who you belong to, doesn’t it? Or If I want it somewhere only I can see.”

You're speechless as you tremble with need in front of him, the need to have him inside you is almost overwhelming. You would do anything to please him right now, you want him more than you’ve ever wanted anything. Stiles’ deep chuckle catches you by surprise as he leans in, inhaling deeply.

“I can smell your need, mate. You’re wet for me again, aren’t you?” he rumbles as he nuzzles into your neck. You’re fully aware it’s a statement not a question.

“That werewolf nose of yours is gonna be a real big pain in my ass, Stilinski,” you giggle as his breath tickles your skin.

He pulls back to grin at you again. “How about you? Where would you want my mark? I know you’re thinking about it, my little minx.”

Licking your lips you slip out from in between Stiles and the wall keeping your eyes on him. “Well, I could tell you the answer to that. But I think we’ve talked enough.”

You slowly slip your shirt over your head and Stiles’ rumbling growl fills the room. He steps forward and you step back another step, slowly letting your shorts drop, leaving you in your underwear.

“I think It’s only fair if we get a good, long, hard look at each other. You know, for research.”

Stiles doesn’t speak and his eyes haven't moved from your body. He quickly pulls off the black t-shirt he’s wearing, and you have to hold your breath at the sight in front of you. If you’d thought he was ripped before, dear lord were you in for a surprise. He has a six pack you could only dream of and he looks like he could throw you around the bedroom with those arms. That deep V at his hips has you itching to run your tongue along it.

You swallow thickly as he smirks at you, and those purple eyes return, only showing you that his emotions have some control over their colour.

“Well damn, you certainly healed up. Real fucking nicely.” You groan, licking your lips as he dips his thumbs into the waistband of his track pants, exposing more of that V.

“Glad you approve, Minx.” He grins, letting his pants drop to the floor, leaving him in his boxers.

“I’ve never been happier to be part of research. Because you look good enough to eat.”

Tags: @julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @mogaruke @lilulo-12fanfiction @charmed-asylum @defenderrosetyler @emilyshurley @foxyjwls007 @mylovelydame21 @akshi8278 @peaches0007 @stylesismyhubs @peachyyybabyy @fantasy-myth1 @death-unbecomes-you @coffeebooksandfandom @magssteenkamp @screamxqueenx94 @brien-odylan @riseandshinelittleblossom @ceceliaking-18 @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @missindecision @deans-number-one-fan @onethirstyunicorn @amberboo329 @chewie-redbird @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #teenwolf #stiles teen wolf #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski x you #stiles x reader #stiles and scott #my brother's best friend #Chapter 3 #mates #fated mates #marking #Stiles is werewolf #werewolf

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rainbowsprinkledpirate · 2 years

Text

Soldier Of My Past

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male!Reader

Summary: Years go by, and nothing changes. You remain trapped under the remnants of HYDRA. Forced to do unthinkable things. And clean up after one particular Super Soldier. Which makes you wonder about him often. You had heard them call him the Winter Soldier. But you're not sure the name fits.

Chapter IV: Empty Blue Eyes

gif from thatscarletflycatcher, got it from google now it's here

Please, please don't.

I don't want to. I'm sorry.

I can't stop.

Whatever they put in my bloodstream turned me into a merciless monster.

It's like I'm trapped behind a glass wall. Watching everything happen yet being unable to stop my finger from pulling the trigger or swinging the blade.

Somebody... help.

I don't want to kill these people.

They haven't done anything wrong.

"Good job, soldier. Another problem was taken care of. But you're too slow, once again." Doctor Rot's voice never failed to solidify that glass wall.

"Maybe we'll use you for something else?" He leans forward. I could feel their blood staining my hands as he tapped the side of my head.

We'll make good use of you yet, little soldier.

- December, XX 1991 -

It took a while, but that glass wall is gone now. It has been for some time. Though that doesn't mean what I did has left my mind. All those people I killed.

The children.

Their screams keep me awake at night. Yet another thing added to a long list that reminds me why I can't give up.

Not yet.

After a while, they made me some other soldiers clean up guy. It became my job to make sure not a single piece of evidence was left that could be traced back to HYDRA.

Oddly enough, I was good at it.

Especially when I did well picking up after the Winter Soldier as he was called. But it's like I know every move he'll make. So, it's easy to clean up what he leaves behind.

This particular scene, however, was messier than the others.

I glance over the scuff marks that show where a body was dragged. They would hint that this wasn't a typical car accident. Alongside the tire tracks from the Winter Soldier's bike. And his footprints.

Every little thing would point out that these poor souls didn't die a normal death.

Which honestly would have been a mercy. If the muffled scream being abruptly cut off was anything to go by.

After a few seconds, the fire hissing from the smashed front end of the car became the only sound permeating the still air of the surrounding forest.

That and the slow, steady steps of the soldier.

He doesn't even spare me a glance as he moves back to his bike.

It was at times like this. Standing in the soldier's aftermath, I wanted to stop him. Just to ask why he went along with HYDRA's plans. Wasn't he strong enough to fight back?

But the glint of his metallic arm always warned me off.

That and the fact that he would kill any who got in the way of finishing his mission.

"Oh, James. What am I gonna do with this guy? The Winter Soldier, what kinda name is that anyway? Clearly, they don't know how to come up with good names."

Lately, I've found myself speaking aloud. When no one else but me and the Winter Soldier were around.

It helped to think James was somewhere listening to me. It soothed the screams I constantly heard.

And it wasn't like the soldier was going to tell anyone. From what I knew, he didn't speak.

At all.

Huffing, I notice the soldier pause. Every bone in my body locks in place when he slightly turns his head my way.

Shit, this is new.

Why the hell is he looking at me?

Is he going to kill me?

Doctor Borisyuk, who took over for Doctor Rot, wouldn't be too happy if he did.

But surely, he knew I was also part of HYDRA.

I did trail after him for nearly every mission he went on. Keeping an eye on him. And making sure his missions were a success.

Well, most of them.

There had been a point where things got messy when I tried to escape after learning Herr Schmit had been killed. They ended up locking me up and torturing me for a few days. But it wasn't anything new and I learned Doctor Zola lied about the explosive device planted in my head.

I examine the side of the soldier's face. Meeting the single empty blue eye that peered at me from over his shoulder for a split second. Before he focused back on the dirt road and took off.

The roar of his motorcycle cut through the stifling silence before fading away. Leaving nothing but the crackling fire in its place.

Weird.

But now wasn't the time for me to be worried about such. I have to clean up the scene and get out of here.

I sigh before making my way closer to the car. Inside were the bodies of Howard and Maria Stark. I never knew the man personally, but I remember seeing him and his first invention flop. It was a fond memory I held close.

Wordlessly I lean forward to rest my hand on Howard's shoulder.

"Find peace in the afterlife, friend." I glance at the woman next to him. A dull ache spread through my chest as I pull away from Howard.

If only I had died with James that day. Like these two who died together.

Shaking my head, I hiss, "Enough."

There's no point agonizing over the past. Focus on the here and now. Until HYDRA is completely wiped out, I can't stop.

Yet everywhere I look, there seems to be something to remind me of the past.

I glance at Howard again.

Focus. Damn it.

Not much information was passed around about these missions. Yet I made sure to keep myself updated as much as I could about the years they woke me up in. It let me clean up the scenes a bit better.

Scanning the surrounding area, I note the camera high up in one of the trees close to the scene. Or what remained of it.

When had he shot that?

Scoffing again, I make my way over to the tree. This was going to take a while. I knew I'd hear about it later.

- XX Hours Later -

"You're finally back," Doctor Borisyuk eyes me from his perch. "You have leaves in your hair."

It takes everything in me not to lunge forward.

This guy took after Doctor Rot a lot. From the unnerving grin to his unsympathetic eyes. Oddly enough, I didn't mind his presence as much as Doctor Rot.

Maybe it was because he let others do his dirty work? And I never saw him when they woke me up or put me to sleep.

The room around me stilled when fingers fluttered up to my hair. It was odd to have someone touch my hair so lightly after all this time. Especially when there was no ill intent behind it.

For a moment, all I could see were empty blue eyes before Doctor Borisyuk pulled back.

A single golden-brown leaf was held up between us.

"You should be more careful."

Or maybe it was for moments like this that I didn't mind him as much as Doctor Rot. With him being offhandedly kind.

That didn't stop me from wanting him and all the other HYDRA people dead.

"It would be a shame to lose someone like you. I rely on you a lot, you know?" He moved to hop back up on the desk. The taupe-colored wood contrasted starkly with his black uniform making him stand out more so than he already did.

"Go get some rest. You've earned it." He crossed one leg over the other. The stiff black boots he wore creaked with the movement.

"But do be back by oh four hundred hours, will you? There's no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid."

I bobbed my head towards him. Then make my way back into the long, desolate halls of HYDRA's headquarters. Empty blue eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. Just like the cries of those people.

Next Chapter -> Here

Here <- Previous Chapter

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

#bucky barnes x male reader #the winter solider x male reader #bucky x male reader #the winter solider x reader #x male reader #male reader #x reader #the avengers #marvel mcu #hydra #criticism welcome

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

Note

Hi, did you see Elliot Roberts' retrospective of John Lennon's discography? Any thoughts? I've seen it twice and still don't know what to think about its accuracy though I shared a lot of his opinions (musically).

Hiya @starlablog!

I really like this ask, since Ive been meaning to talk about Elliot Roberts for awhile now! Im actually quite familiar with him, since Ive been watching his Beatle videos since he started creating them! I think Ive seen all his videos so far?

[Prefatory note: Ive seen all his videos I think, but cant remember most of them That Well, so im mostly going off of what I recall from his John Lennon video here since that ones still fresh in my mind]

Opinion time: I think theres definitely a gap in the YouTube market, in terms of Beatles content. Theres lot of people who discuss their discographies very analytically, but without being emotionally tuned in to other facets of their work (i.e understanding their works autobiographically/psychologically). As someone who cant read sheet music and frankly refuses to learn (my brother calls it “ugliness on a page” lol), this is SO FAR from the type of content I want to see—I love talking about their music, but Im always more interested in discussing how elements of their own emotions and psychologies and autobiographical circumstances etc. relayed into their discography. There are a few youtubers who Ive seen making videos focussing on their autobiographies, talking about the Controversial stuff (i.e Cynthia and Julian; Yoko) that we typically discuss on different forum platforms—but these videos are all about 5 minutes long, which really isn’t enough time to get a nuanced and well-sourced perspective on anything.

Even if were refraining from talking about their personal lives in a lot of depth, I still thinks it’s just way more FUN to discuss how creative they actually were in their music, and how they came to make their songs (i.e John telling George Martin he wants A Day In The Life to sound like the end of the world), instead of: “and then they used a C major!”. Like who cares??????? Not me :/

This is essentially why I Quite Like Elliot Roberts—because he’s the only YouTuber I know of who makes videos vaguely resembling the type of Beatles-content that would cater to me: not overly-analytical, employing elements of their autobiography into understanding them, and emotionally tuned in. Plus, he brings a bit of Fun and Personality to his discussions, that I don’t typically see with the (boring) music-analyists.

However, I think his discussions of the band can be lacking in some respects: the main thing for me I think is that his understandings of the actual relationships between the band can be fairly surface-level, I guess. I like that he’s a little more emotionally-tuned into the dynamics between them then other youtubers, but I still think he could delve further into this element :/

I know Ive gone off on SUCH a tangent here, but this all essentially leads me to my opinion on his John discography ranking: I, like you, shared a lot of his opinions musically (I would say my favourite JL album is Plastic Ono Band; Whatever Gets You Thru The Night is a stone-cold SLAP etc.)—but again, its just........missing some things Here and There (and everywhere) in terms of analysis. Almost had to throw my laptop across the room when he demoted mother-fucking-I Know (I Know) to being just a “cute” song. At least pick up on John literally lifting the opening rift to that song from Ive Got A Feeling, Elliot I am *begging* you (I will pay you real cash!!!!!!!!!).

Personally, Id love to see YouTube videos with content more similar to the types of things we hear talked about on Beatles-podcasts or in books! Hence why in the summer, Im planning to maybe give this a go? I don’t think id make a particularly good YouTuber, but idk man, somebody’s gotta do it, so I guess I will lol.

Anyway, not sure if Ive articulated this quite the way I wanted to, but please share your thoughts if you have any! :)

#sorry I took a minute responding here #I was in Sheffield seeing my brothers band #and got the train back today #and it was a Long trip :/#I was so hungry man. but I left my card with my brother by accident so I couldn't buy anyhting #*anything #but oh well #going to bed now #elliot roberts #beatle-tube #phoneys fandom opinions #beatles #john lennon #@starlablog #asks #opinion

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realhankmccoy · 8 months

Text

Christina's really in a hysterical, endless, typical American hissy fit about the death of the individual, even as the Burger King she operates is designed to eliminate individuality and drone on and on and on and on until everyone is basically full of a mini-Trump like she is.

The girl gets it from her father, who also is all about the force of the individual personality against omg The evil Dems and omg The Rinos.

I don't know why the girl has such a typical hysteria and needs to emulate Trump so very frequently other than she doesn't think much... when there's nothing between the two lobes, all you can come up with is 'indviduality!' 'freedom!' while conducting your Burger King so as to wipe the world clear of such things and mind-numblingly be hypnnotically reduced into just another Trumplike cuck.

Anyhow, since she's pulled a Double Donald this evening and making fun of midgets and the 'retarded' -- a very Trump thing to do -- I'm just going to remove her from my 'to read' list yet again because her fixation on becoming her father and emulating her father and being

and i mean this quite sincerely

The Biggest Unwitting Cuck I Have Ever Seen In My Life

knows no end. If I didn't know how stupid she actually is, I'd almost think she has to be fabricating this stupid act -- that nobody can seriously be so kitschy as to think it's astute to compare Zelda to Arthur, that nobody can seriously be so blind to how they're a cuck of Trump that they're going on about midgets and the 'retarded' --

retarded -- a word i grew out of before she was probably born, because she's so incredibly behind me -- a word even Lady Gaga grew out of and advocated against --

what's odd is the dumb girl things she has patience or tolerance, but she doesn't even have the patience or tolerance to admit error or apologise. She's in a total childlike state at all times in which everyone else must always be the better person, for she is so insecure that -- much like my dad and Bruce and bro -- unless she is being the badass and the nastiest of all people and others are putting up with it, she doesn't feel secure or 'winning' -- this is how Trump himself also plays out his simp American desire to take more than he gives, harm more than he heals, and always harm more than everyone more mature than him.

I mean honestly, the lack of self-awareness for somebody to talk about splitting skulls like a child the moment they call others 'temperamental'...

and the male fragility it takes to engage in such things... also the lack of awareness for a girl too crippled to fend for herself outside of the home thinking she can ever call anyone 'fragile'...

it's like almost immediately, on the most basic of levels, she's unable to put 2 and 2 together, which is also a dad / Bruce problem.

any idiot -- any really, really dumb person -- can just pluck a few hateful adjectives out of the air -- but by the age of 8 you probably should have an understanding of what 'in a position to talk' and 'hypocrisy' is ... and this batch just isn't at an 8 year old level yet.

it's my duty to educate, but if they're not willing to learn and it's all just a Tom & Jerry Cartoon, you get the further gripping to Daddy Donald's Legs and Ways when stressed.

Also, I have no idea why anyone would think 'anal orgasm' is a bad thing. I mean, get off the Mayflower already. Get off the Trump train. Grow a pair of non-Wonderbread balls.

Also no idea why the girl sees herself as 'stable' -- stagnant waters are not stable waters, not something you can lean on for support -- also certainly not even close to a 'father substitute' -- how can somebody who you can't even ask for an opinion on a story without her saying like clockwork MAKE IT REALLY HATEFUL AND NASTY until you sigh and think, well sure, if the girl is so easily entertained by those parts of Blue Velvet and Tarantino, she's a simp and I can put a smile on her face and write some Blue Velvet but I am NOT doing Tarantino... Such a person like that thinks of herself as a father, lol? That's some massively wishful thinking. Toddler is the thought. That was always her beef against me... that I treat her like she's younger and not as good. I had no clue about how much younger at heart she really is until I took away the benefit of the doubt, thought about it and stopped projecting myself into her.

Not a father figure, but deffo a typical idiot Millennial, yes that much is very clear -- it would take a really idiotic one to cuck itself so firmly to Trump and hold hands with an equally idiotic Nazi bestie online and feel like this is gonna get anything except chuckles and derision.

Even her own contradictions -- she can't see em from paragraph to paragraph -- first she says I see her as a father figure (false), then she says I see her as weaker and stupider (true). Like many typical idiot Millennials, it's all just fodder... she spews out everything and hopes something sticks... but it doesn't. When 95% of it is just angry spittle and 5% is as correct as Tucker Carlson's 'a broken clock is right twice a day' accuracy, it's just a 100% flop...

the easiest battles I've ever won. The girl obviously didn't do debate in high school like I did, and if she did they must have given her a participation trophy, because I have rarely met such a scattershot and confused and ... unincisive opponent.

Anyhow, somebody co-dependently living with her narcissistic father is surely no expert on ignoring a father. I have been literally ignoring mine for a year, and that's a short stretch in my book. As for what I think of -- I'm not going to apologise that I think a lot. A monkey doesn't think. I'm sorry that as a typical Millennial, Christina seems to typically jeer 'RENT FREE YR HEAD' and other such idiot things. Hey kid, the Vietnam war lived rent free in a lot of folks' heads but it doesn't live in Quinn's -- you think I care about your point of view when it's so comparably vapid and hollow of independence (you can preach it, but not practice it except when ya try to scramble a few keys when your feet are put to the fire by me) and hardship -- certainly unsympathetic to other people unless they're to the political right and reek of massive Whiteness, in which case you bend over backwards, as ya do --

short-sighted -- rightists love that insult. the Collinses use 'myopic' on gays. Elon and libertarian friends love to argue for long-termisms. You think I care that you want to tell me you're a cuck of typical american rightists who bleat for freedumbs and individumalities? I already know ya are.

near-sighted people are readers, kid. sorry ya ain't much of one.

long-sighted people are hunters and red or purple redneckes -- no wonder ya love that notion, cuz ya never met a harm on another human being you didn't want to inflict due to the Whiteness that you crave

absolutely i'm short-sighted

i'm not letting anybody who's roughly 100x to 1000x more selfish than me call me selfish without laughing, lol. that got me your first literal LOL here. you're really dumb, kid. what are you gonna call me next, um, white-pantsed? cuz i'm wearing black today. hunters at least have accuracy... they at least know the difference between firing at a deer and at a stump. you got no clue what i am. you could call me selfish on any random day when i volunteered for the community for 10 hours, a community i'm not even permanently attached to because i'm normadic -- and one of the reasons ya do it

is cuz you're a toddler who thinks screaming Selfish will get ya a few more free meals off me. just spoiled.

as for stupid... stupid is as stupid does, Zelda boy.

I guess the kids never went through a goth phase that they think unhappiness is the worst thing in the world. Wonderbread wants to be Happy. So does Quinn. Good for you, go be half Quinn and live a purple fashion club existence -- it's called improvising, Daria.

Also, i mean just fucking dumb. Who is told to GET HAPPY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT like Elon and Trump tell people? Polly want a CUCK is all i heard in that comment about happiness.

For somebody who propagates the ruling classes' attitude, mores and agendas so relentlessly, it's really too bad Christina doesn't even get $1,000,000 out of doing it for them. For whatever reasons, she's so deeply cucked that she decided she wanted to do it for them for free.

Never underestimate how stupid being a cuck makes people is my advice, kids. They just might waste a fuckton of everyone's time spreading Trumpism everywhere they go like Johnny Appleseed and have zero fuckin' clue that they're even doin' it.

#trump #mommie dearest

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purplesurveys · 2 years

Text

1451

What’s the best part about Chinese food? All the spices involved in all the dishes, and the fact that they’re generally served family-style - food for me has always been a social, bonding, quality time-with-family-and-friends sort of affair, so I enjoy the most when I get to have food from like one big platter with a bunch of people.

What’s the most favorite class you’ve ever had? Taking up a social history course in college was fun; every required reading we had felt like a leisure activity for me more than anything. Political science was a delight too and it was really all thanks to how passionate my instructor was.

How do you feel about skinny jeans? I dislike how they feel for the most part because the skin around my legs tends to be sensitive and gets rashy/itchy easily, but I still wear them since they’re a timeless look that always works lol.

How do you feel about the teen stars from Disney? I’m so out of touch with today’s teen stars, so I couldn’t tell ya. I don’t even know who are the popular people on TikTok now...

For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: Ugh I feel like I’ve answered this before but I’m five questions in so whatever. I’m pretty certain I answered this with ‘resentment,’ so let’s just retain that.

How do you react when you trip or stumble? My go-to is to simply act coolly, like it didn’t happen and then proceed to use my phone so I can look unbothered. But if I tripped in a very stupid, slapstick manner then that’s the time I would typically laugh to myself.

Could you seriously have sex using a colored condom? Idk I’ve never had to use a condom in my life so I don’t know the first thing to feel about colored ones.

Do you have a tattoo? I don’t.

Have any favorite quotes? Man oh man. So I just discovered an absolute gem listening to Suga’s Interlude by Halsey and Yoongi - kind of cheating since I’m going to be citing a lyric and not a hard quote but anyway - I was really impressed with one of Yoongi’s lines, which goes, “Though the dawn right before the sunrise is darker than anything, never forget that the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness.”

Are you good at “biting your tongue”? Yeah I’m a lot better at handling that now.

Why do you love the one you do? I don’t love anybody in the romantic sense.

Where do you want to go in life? I just don’t want to end up being a disappointment. I want to be as consistent as I am now, and I hope it leads me to even bigger things in life without causing burnout or intense mental damage to me.

Do you like the way you look? Sure.

Do you have “friends” that you actually hate? That’s terrible, no. I wouldn’t want to waste someone’s time like that.

Do you know what you want to do as a living yet? I’m in the career path I’ve always wanted to be in, so technically the answer is yes; it’s just a matter of building my skills and making sure I end up in the jobs right for my needs.

What looks like a really good workout? Don’t ask me stuff when it comes to exercise, ha.

Have you tackled somebody to the ground? Uh, kind of, I guess.

Are you good at the game Twister? I haven’t played Twister since I was like 7, so I’m not too sure how I’d fare in it today. I like to think I’m still flexible, though.

What’s the last thing that really had you crying? Ooooh there was this touching father-daughter video on Facebook that got me crying hard, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it had been about even though I’m sure I watched it only last night.

Do you think you have ambition? I think so. Looking at where I am now, I think I can at least give that much credit to myself.

Would you rather donate time, money, or clothes to charity? Time.

Do people get uneasy around you when you talk to their bfs/gfs? No, lol.

Do your friends trust you around their bfs/gfs? I mean yeah, we’re all adults here now.

Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? I might be open to a tattoo sometime in the distant future, I’ll just have to swallow my fear of needles first.

Do you have a favorite cartoon? BoJack Horseman.

Do you have long or short legs? Long.

Have you ever had In-School Suspension (ISS)? No, I’ve never heard of that.

When do you listen to Nickelback? I don’t listen to them, but I also don’t actively jeer on them.

What’s a pretty flower? Peonies.

Do you think there’s any truth to the zodiac? No.

Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? I did it the first few times and I’d do it again.

#survey #surveys

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respectable-username · 3 years

Text

Based on the responses to my post yesterday wanting to know more, here's my guide to

🧑‍💻Code in Hermitcraft (and other SMP) Fanfic🧑‍💻

Note: This is just the interpretation of one Jr Software Engineer. If other developers have a different interpretation, I'd love to hear it in the comments or reblogs!

It's super common in Hermitcraft (and I'm assuming other SMP) fanfiction for the plot to revolve around errors in the game itself and how they affect players. The problem is, as a software engineer, this almost always immediately pulls me out of the story as the ways the game errors are described frequently don't make sense.

This is not a condemnation of writers who use game bugs as parts of their stories, as nobody expects all SMP fanfic writers to have a CS degree. Some even do it well and I adore those stories when I find them! But here are some high-level suggestions to have your glitchy plot points make a little more sense. Usually, it's just a slight change in wording that's required.

Code vs Data

"His code is glitched! He's evil now!"

"They carefully pulled at the strands of her player code, trying to find the bug that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your code is so ancient! You're from Alpha, right?"

These sorts of phrases are probably the most common ones I see that yank me right out if a story. Why? Because they're confusing data and code!

So, what is the difference?

Think of code in this scenario like the laws of physics. It's the rules that guide what can and can't happen in the world. It's what says "if you walk, you move forwards", "if you eat, you'll be less hungry", "if you use a shovel on a dirt block, it will end up in your inventory".

Data is the actual "stuff" in the world that the code changes via its rules. Data is the specific blocks in that building, that item hovering above the ground, the mobs staring at you from under the trees, the player character, the player's health, the player's inventory, the player's skin, and, in the fanfic context, the player's personality and memories.

In other words, if it's an action that can happen, it's probably code. If it's a specific thing, it and everything that makes that particular thing unique is data.

Of course, there can be bugs or glitches in the code which means that data does something it shouldn't, such as "if you put some TNT, some dead coral, and a minecart in this very specific configuration, you can duplicate the TNT." In this case, the act of duplication (ie the rules that let duplication occur) is a glitch in the code (the rules allow something they shouldn't), but the duplicated TNT itself isn't code; it's data. Data that shouldn't exist but does anyway because of that glitch in the code.

So, how could you rework the sample phrases above to make more sense?

"He got too close to a glitch, and his personality data got corrupted. He's evil now!"

"They carefully prodded at her player data, trying to find the broken property that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your data structures are so ancient! You're from Alpha, right? I can't believe you've survived so many updates without compatibility issues!"

Code vs Logs

"Xisuma looked through the code to find the source of the glitch."

This one's a little less clear cut, as there are circumstances where players could look at a version of the code. Some of the Minecraft code is Open Source (ie free to look at), and the rest can be decompiled from the Minecraft .jar (ie turned from machine-readable ones-and-zeroes back into words and stuff, although much less human-readable than what the original code would have been). The super-technical players such as the SciCrafters and I think Doc too will look at the code, which is how they make their super efficient farms and find and exploit glitches to, say, put 8 spawners in one chunk.

But generally, the code is not the first place you go when encountering a glitch. I mean, if it were that obvious from the code alone, it probably would have been caught before being shipped!

When something goes wrong, the first place to look is the logs. The logs of what the players have been doing, the logs of previous commands that have been run, the update changelogs for the game, the version history of the (admin-editable) config files, any warnings or error logs from the server itself. For example, if you have a malicious user such as, say, a Helsmit in your story, the logs would show when they entered the world and where, unless they also did something hacky to cover their tracks.

Personally, I also wouldn't say you'd have to stick to exactly what a server would realistically log if it makes your story more interesting. It's easy enough to hand wave that an admin has a mod in place that surfaces more information if it'd make the story better!

In a multi-server setting, this is also the point where the admin of your world could also reach out to the admins of other worlds and discuss if they've seen the issue before and how they solved it. The in-universe equivalent of looking it up on Stack Overflow or Reddit if you will!

Once the admin has looked at the logs and maybe chatted to others, if they still can't fix the issue via commands or config file changes, then it might make sense for them to try looking into the code if they can. Note that not all server admins are necessarily confident at programming as it's not a core part of their job.

But at the very least, at this point the admin should have a better idea of what part of the code could be bugged. This will make it easier to either a) make a patch for the bug or, more likely, b) understand what circumstances trigger the glitch and avoid those circumstances.

TL;DR: The code is not the first place admins will go when glitches cause issues; the logs are!

And as before, example sentence:

"Xisuma trawled through the logs, trying to find any indication of the source of the problem."

To Conclude

Code is the rules that govern what stuff can do and how stuff interacts. The stuff itself is data. When something goes wrong, that typically results in the data being in a state it shouldn't be in, wether that be because that thing's velocity is much higher than it should be after taking advantage of the ravager flight glitch, or because a player and a mob's data structures got combined on accident to leave them a player-mob hybrid.

Of course, this broken data is likely caused by a bug/glitch in the code. It could also be caused by somebody malicious who's purposefully trying to break things by messing with the memory in another way. It could also be because a cosmic ray hit a piece of RAM and flipped a single bit (this is an actual thing that happens believe it or not).

Either way, when something goes wrong, the admin's first point of exploration is the logs, not the code. The logs will give the admin a better idea of what the cause of the issue is, and talking with other admins could give them a solution without ever touching the codebase. But worst-case scenario, it is indeed possible for an admin to go spelunking through the codebase to find the cause of an issue and create a patch for it.

This just covers the most common code-related plot points that I personally see in Hermitcraft/other SMP fanfiction. If you have any further questions about writing code-related plot points, feel free to ask! And also, just to reiterate, this is all just my interpretation. Others may interpret differently, and if you do, I'd love to hear what your alternative interpretations are!

PS: I was also planning a section on hacking here, but this post is already getting long and that's complicated, and also I'm bad at hacking. But let me know if you have any questions related to that that you'd like to see in a follow-up post!

#and yes I did write this when I was supposed to be coding for work #hermitcraft #mcyt #shamelessly maintagging in case others find it useful #res writes #res rambles

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veradescent · 2 years

Text

Streamer AU!

streaming now live!! with . . . tartaglia, kazuha, kokomi and itto

please do not rewrite, redistribute, or repost in any shape or form. thank you! check out the masterlist! masterlist and info/dni here

- feel free to come talk to me on asks! -

❱ now streaming… kazuha!

he does study streams!

he started just by showing his notes and his hands but after a while he finally showed a picture of his face (which was followed by an INSANE amount of people panicking)

now he does streams where he shows himself studying rather than just his hands (as a treat <3) but only on occasion.

stop im so in love with him 😭 i feel very strongly on the kazuha study aesthetic agenda

if it’s a full body stream he probably wears a big hoodie and you can see his organized set up. his room is full of plants and soft warm lighting, and he has an essential diffuser on his desk.

at the beginning of each stream the audience gets to decide what scent he puts in the diffuser for the day. somebody typically tips to get their favorite and he always smiles very fondly as he puts in the oil.

nobody ever complains in his streams or gets upset. it’s just safe. viewers might ask questions and somebody else will answer. or they talk about how pretty and calm kazuha is and hope he doesn’t notice since he’s busy working. (he does. but he thinks it’s funny)

he still doesn’t fully see the point of it all and finds it kind of amusing that so many watch but definitely is very peaceful and enjoys helping people relax. it’s why he keeps doing it.

sometimes people don’t even come to study they just come to see him and enjoy how calm the chat is.

okay the difference between the chaos of childe’s chat that goes at light speed of people freaking out and kazuhas gentle chat where everybody helps each other and talks about how soothing it all is is so funny

in terms of popularity he and kokomi are pretty close, she’s a bit ahead but they’re def friends who talk every time he’s in town.

i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m done but just 🥰🥰 he makes me all soft.

❱ now streaming… childe!

childe is 100% a popular streamer who plays COD and games of the sort i think we can all agree on that.

except sometimes he plays stardew valley. only stardew valley. nobody knows why but when asked he’s only ever responded with “i like fishing” which is true. he only ever spends time fishing in stardew. viewers either love it or hate it. (usually love it because it’s him)

i don’t know why i just feel like he gets frustrated and squeezes his controller really tightly and furrows his brows when he’s trying to focus and not die in game.

instead of hitting things since he’s not destructive he just throws his head back or rubs his face. sometimes he very dramatically takes off his headphones and takes a breath.

he’s always a good sport saying something along the lines of “i’ll get them next time.. i just missed it” and proceeds to figure out what he did wrong to fix for next time.

the absolute sweetest when people send him tips. he’ll always stop to say how appreciative he is and gives this big genuine smile the second he sees the notification. that’s probably the reason he gets tipped so often.

overall just a huge softie, going on his streams is addicting because he’s honestly just so fun to watch with how expressive he is and how amazing his laugh is.

simps. plenty of simps. but in a cute way sort of?? i don’t know how to explain it. everybody loves him so much.

there is this streamer from inazuma though called thoma… they get compared a lot. childe is secretly jealous. thoma is unfazed. might talk about his channel in a part two 🤔

❱ now streaming… kokomi!

i feel like her and kazuha would get along or collab at some point! people probably begged for it and she casually went “oh yeah! kazuha, i know him.” and people were so excited.

she has a pretty big audience honestly, she’s probably the most popular here overall and her community has remained calm and kind.

she has a lot of stationary and writes letters, sometimes she decorates those little photo cards. do you know what i’m talking about??? i think she makes custom ones for her viewers who tip nicely.

her audience is less a devoted same people every time type thing. she encourages this, and for people to come when they want to see her and not because they feel like they have to.

although she does have regulars who will drop by to say hello once in a while, and she never forgets a single person. talking to her on stream is very personal but also not invasive. nothing deep, just reassuring. if it’s been a bad day you can come to her streams and de stress and talk about happy things (happy things?? how do i phrase that??)

her upload schedule can be kind of sporadic, she’s busy and people are always happy to catch her. it’s kind of a i’ll see you when i see you type deal.

she plays animal crossing sometimes! her favorite villagers are merengue, lolly, and merri! she does not like raymond. no i won’t elaborate on that. she has a cluttered cottagecore theme for her island

she has a lot of sponsorships lined up (companies just reach out to her a lot. she’s very unproblematic) but it’s only for things she’d actually use and tells her fans her honest opinions. she does a bit of everything so most of the time it’s makeup or pens or something like that. she likes when she’s sent those little food subscription boxes.

she always has her nails done in pretty colors or acrylics, i don’t know why this is important in the slightest but i just feel like she does. it’s always some sort of creative nail art

she likes supporting small artists! like a lot!! if she buys stickers she’ll always link the shops and tell her viewers where any materials are from. she doesn’t gatekeep her little hobby at all.

people still like to buy from her regardless of if they know how to make them or not, she just is really good at it and makes super pretty layouts. you can tell when she’s the one who made it. plus she sends them in super pretty packaging with a note and extras!

❱ now streaming… itto! (the one and oni!)

itto streaming onikabuto fighting- just kidding betting on that is illegal and against the tos! he learned that last time…no more field trip streams

there is a stream clip out there of itto running from kujou sara after filming an illegal onikabuto match…. but let’s not talk about that!

he actually streams video games a lot like childe, but he’s extremely enthusiastic. extremely.

he calls his fans the arittaki gang. yes he does.

his audience is die hard for him. everybody acknowledges he’s a genius (sarcastic) and it’s like a “hey bro” dynamic. everybody is referred to as ‘bro’ or ‘man’ when itto addresses them. it’s just in his vocabulary.

somehow it gets very deep very fast. itto picks up on if a regular isn’t acting like they usually do and asks what’s wrong. it’s become a space of safety where the entire audience helps with the person.

“oh man i’m sorry you’re dealing with that- yknow i felt like that last week. it’s a hard place to be. yeah chat thinks so too! see? we’re all here. you’re always welcome on the stream we’ve all got your back! always!” the whole chat relating and sharing their personal stories.

if ANYBODY. i mean anybody. says something remotely negative everybody in the chat takes them down almost immediately. it’s so intimidating. like your best friends booing somebody off a stage. it’s great. ittos fairly sensitive to insults deep down anyway even if he brushes them off so it’s probably for the best it’s shut down fast.

not too much else to say here but ittos streams are just hilarious. he sometimes brings the stream places just to show his audience him having lunch or doing something exciting.

he is SHOCKED at his first time being sponsored but gets sponsored quite a few times.

his sponsors sponsor him very cautiously. very. cautiously. because he frequently nearly accidentally violates TOS but they do it because he’s so good at it man can sell anything. his viewers would buy anything to support him.

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rodr1cks · 3 years

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Hi! I don't know if your request are open, but I'd like to know if you could write a rodrick x reader where the reader is Rowley's sister and discovers her talking on the phone with a friend saying she's in love with Rodrick and tells Greg and he tells her that Rodrick has been in love with her for a long time and they try to put them together?

cw: none it’s pure fluff

word count: 1.8k

“I know! And he didn’t even apologize!” Greg ranted into the receiver.

“I’m sorry, Greg,” Rowley frowned, sympathetic nature as present as always. “Anyways, mom says dinner is ready, see you tonight?” Rowley’s tone lifted at the end of his sentence, excitement brewing as he thought about the sleepover he was meant to have with Greg later that evening.

You slid into the kitchen on your socks, just as Rowley was concluding his conversation with Greg.

Rowley sat anxiously through dinner, quickly consuming everything on his plate, including the vegetables. You observed him from across the table, cocking your head as your younger brother inhaled his peas like he hadn’t eaten in days.

He took his last bite before exclaiming, “I’m going to pack my stuff for Greg’s!”

Not without clearing his dishes first, of course.

You rolled your eyes at his charisma and headed into the living room. You slumped over on the couch, limbs splayed every which way as you called your friend, Marissa. You had been needing to gush to somebody about your newest crush, Rodrick Heffley.

You had only interacted with the messy haired boy in passing: family dinners, picking up Greg, dropping off Rowley, etc.

“I don’t know what it is, he’s just so- so- captivating. God, Mar, I swear I could watch him play drums for hours on end!”

Unbeknownst to you, Rowley had entered the room and was about to speak. You were too caught up in drooling over Rodrick to notice. “Hey, y/n-” He cut himself off quickly, curiosity getting the best of him.

“And did you see what he was wearing at Matt’s party? Those jeans? And that eyeliner? God I could just tear them-”

Rowley cleared his throat, unwilling to hear the rest. “Y/n can you take me to Greg’s, please?” He stood awkwardly with his lips pursed.

Your head whipped around faster than the speed of light. “Marissa, I gotta go.”

“Rowley, how much of that did you hear?”

He lied, something he wasn’t really good at, “Not much! I promise!”

“Rowley Jefferson you had better keep your mouth shut, or I swear I’ll-”

You stopped yourself, closing your eyes and drawing in a deep breath. “Just get in the car.” You breathed out in a scarily calm tone. Your red headed sibling nodded frantically out of fear and darted to the garage.

Usually, you would make him walk, but ever since your infatuation with Rodrick began, you were more eager to give him rides over there. The mere prospect of getting the slightest glance sending excitement throughout your entire being.

When you pulled up to the Heffley home, you gave him a final glare. “Say nothing.” He gave you the same shaky nod he gave you only moments ago. With that, he was bounding towards the front door. You made sure he got inside safely and drove off.

“Rowley? Everything okay?” Greg asked his friend, concerned with his behavior. Rowley couldn’t handle keeping secrets. His hands grew clammy and a slight sweat broke out on his forehead. Rowley had an uncomfortably fake smile plastered on his face as he tried to assure Greg that everything was just peachy.

All it took was one knowing look from Greg and Rowley broke.

“Alright, fine! I heard my sister talking to her friend about how hot Rodrick is and how she wants to-”

“Okay, okay! I get the picture!”

Greg took a moment to proceed, his brows furrowed as he brought a contemplative fist up to support his chin.

“Lemme get this straight. Your sister likes my brother?”

Rowley nodded slowly.

“Y/n likes Rodrick?”

Rowley nodded again, confirming Greg’s exclamations.

“But y/n is smart a-and hot!”

“Greg! Don’t say that!” Rowley groaned, rolling his head back in disgust. Greg threw both of his hands up in defense, “I’m just stating facts.”

“Wait, I have an idea.” A pit of dread grew in Rowley’s stomach, Greg’s ideas never turned out well.

“What if we set up y/n with Rodrick? Just hear me out, this could be good for him.”

Rowley mulled the idea over in his head, thinking that maybe dating you could make Rodrick more… agreeable? Maybe you could be a good influence on the intimidating teenager. A happier Rodrick would make sleepovers at Greg’s a lot more pleasant.

“I think that could work,” Rowley said apprehensively. “But how do we do it?”

Greg shrugged, “Simple, we just tell Rodrick there’s a really hot Girl interested in him.”

The boys proceeded to draw up a plan.

Phase one: The approach. Greg and Rowley nervously ascended the wooden steps that led to Rodrick’s room. Rodrick was laying on his back, spinning a drumstick between his nimble fingers.

He shot up immediately when he noticed the boys’ presence. “What are your dweebs doing up here?”

Phase two: Delivery. “Calm down Rodrick, we have some information you might wanna know,” Greg reasoned cooly, easing Rodrick’s anger from a roaring ten to a mild six.

Greg nodded over at Rowley, signaling him to start talking.

“W-well,” Rowley stuttered, “I uhm- heard my sister talking about you and she- she likes you and she was talking about your jeans?”

Rodrick blinked in confusion, processing this intel.

“Your sister likes me? Are you sure she meant me?”

“That’s what I said!” Greg exclaimed and Rodrick shot him a terrifying glare, silently telling Greg to can it.

Rodrick was honestly shocked. He always observed you from afar, deciding himself that a chick as cool as you would never go for him. This news was absolutely world shattering for the boy, he completely admired you.

Phase three: Action. “We have a plan.” Greg said, a conniving grin creeping onto his face. “Rowley calls y/n, tells her that he’s feeling sick and blames it on Mom’s pot roast or something. Then when she rushes over all worried, you greet her at the door. And then you work your Rodrick magic!” Greg smiled, abundant pride for his plan evident in his stature.

“It’s a go.” Rodrick declared, scrambling around his room to put on deodorant, a new t-shirt, and cologne before pointing at Rowley. “Make the call.”

“Hey, y/n,” Rowley groaned into the phone, sounding as sick as he possibly could. “I- I think I ate something bad and I really need you ro come get me.”

You sighed, telling him you’d be there in ten minutes and to have his things ready to go. You departed for the Heffley house for the second time that night.

When Rowley didn’t come out to your car, you trudged up to the red door to go retrieve the sickly boy.

You gave the door three lazy knocks, expecting Rowley’s face to be the one behind it when it swung open. “Hey kid, are you feeling okay?” You asked, not yet making eye contact with the figure leering in the doorframe.

Your eyes widened as you came to realize who it was.

“Funny seeing you here,” Rodrick drawled out, a smirk tugging at his lips. Your cheeks burned with the heat of one thousand suns, you were not expecting this tonight.

“Y-yeah,” you smiled awkwardly, staring at your feet. “Rowley called, he uhm, he’s not feeling well. So if you could just get him for me I can leave. Immediately.” You cursed yourself for your blubbering idiocy as you twiddled your fingers.

“Actually, Rowley is feeling much, much better.” Suspicion grew as you studied Rodrick’s devious expression. “What’s going on?” You asked, genuinely puzzled as nothing was making any sense.

“I don’t know, y/n. Why don’t you come in and tell me?” Rodrick was surprisingly smooth in this situation, despite his nerves being at an all time high.

“Rowley is just up here,” Rodrick said while guiding you up the stairs to his room. In the meantime, Greg and Rowley peered out from the hallway, watching you follow Rodrick upstairs and giggling to themselves.

The overhead lights in Rodrick’s room were turned on, the glow from his string lights illuminating the area instead. “Mood lighting,” as he had called it. Rodrick had already instructed the boys to stay far away once you had arrived.

You were still lost, Rowley nowhere in sight. “So? Where is he?” You asked expectantly.

“Here’s the thing y/n. You know Rowley can’t keep secrets, right? I mean you have to know that, he is your brother”

Shit.

“That little shit stain! I’ll get him, I swear to god!” You turned to bound down the stairs, ready to tear the entire house apart in hunting for him. Rodrick grabbed your wrist before your foot could even reach the first step.

“Y/n, relax, relax!” His grip on your flesh made your breath hitch and stomach churn. “It’s okay, I feel the same way.” Rodrick’s cocky facade dissipated into nothing as he revealed his feelings.

You got a glimpse of a more vulnerable side of Rodrick that you were sure he didn’t typically share. “But girls like you don’t usually like stupid guys like me,” Rodrick was staring at the ground now, grasp on your arm softening.

You were too unsure of your words so you opted to move your free hand to hold his bicep, closing a considerable amount of distance between the two of you in the process.

“Rodrick, I’ve never liked anybody as much as I like you. And I don’t mean that in a weird or creepy way it’s just that-”

Now it was time for Rodrick’s own addition to the plan. Phase four: The kiss.

Your rambling was cut short by a pair of warm lips pressing against your own. He kissed you with just enough force to cause you to stumble back a bit, causing you to brace yourself against his torso.

He carded a gentle hand through your hair and tugged back on your soft locks. You moaned at the vibrations tendrilling at your scalp and kissed him with even more ferocity.

Somehow, you ended up on his bed, straddling him. The blankets strewn across his mattress melded against your knees and the fronts of your calves as you stabilized yourself on his lap.

He placed apprehensive hands on your hip bones, unsure of what was okay and what wasn’t. You placed your hand on top of his larger one, assuring him that you were comfortable. You even allowed a small whimper to leave your throat as he tightened his hold on you.

You only pulled away to catch your breath, looking into his eyes for the first time that night. You smiled warmly at him as you cupped his cheek. Suddenly, Rodrick’s signature smirk returned to his face.

“Now tell me what you were saying about my jeans.”

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley #diary of a wimpy kid #devon bostick

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princehrry-writings · 3 years

Text

Legal Guardian

ugh this took way too long lol, but here it is!!! i forget exactly that sparked this but i thought it was a cute idea.

warnings: injuries (nothing major), hospitals, cursing, harry being a protective dad 🥺, talks about adoption and legal guardians, crying

wordcount: 2481

harry styles x reader, stepdad!harry x reader, stepdadharry x oc!stella

masterlist

Stella gets hurt and Harry is the only one there- but he has no legal jurisdiction…

It all happened really fast. Harry can’t even recall how it started, but he knew very well how it ended. A sobbing Stella strapped into her car seat as he raced to the emergency room, frantically calling Y/n who was in a different state on a work trip.

The 5 year old didn’t understand what was going on, she just knew she was hurting… really bad. And that she wanted her mommy and daddy.

The traffic seemed to be working against him, getting in his way at the most inconvenient times, all the while he was trying to console his weeping daughter, crying out “Daddy it hurts so bad!” effectively shattering his heart into a million little pieces.

Stella had been playing happily in the backyard at home, showing off her wonderful dance moves to Harry who watched with an adoring smile on his face, taking little videos to send to his fiance, when suddenly she was laying on the ground, clutching her ankle, and crying for him to come get her. He rushed into action, not having seen her take the fateful step into what must have been a hole in the ground or something.

Screeching into the hospital car park, he stops somewhere he obviously wasn’t supposed to but he couldn't care less. His mind was racing. What if she broke her ankle? Or tore a ligament? What if she has to get surgery? All of this is what he worries about as he flings the back door of his car open, trying his best to appear calm for his daughter (but it’s not really working), and scoops her carefully into his hold, bringing her inside and shouting for someone to please help him.

A few nurses rush to his side, asking him different questions and asking for someone to “Page Dr. Robbins, tell her we need a peds consult.”

Stella is whisked away from him and before he can start to follow after her, a hand is placed on his chest, stopping him in his place.

“Sir, we can’t have you in the room with her. You’re not on her file as a legal guardian!” A doctor tells him. In that moment, he sees nothing but red, steam pouring out of his ears.

“The hell I can’t, I’m her father! I’m not going to let her sit in there all alone while strangers poke and prod at her!” He all but yells at the man. Harry is not violent. He really isn't. But he’s not afraid to lay somebody on their ass when it comes to his girls. With kindness or course. And maybe a black eye.

From the room she was taken into he can hear her crying for him.

“Wan’ my daddy! Daddy!” Harry didn’t think his heart could break any further than it already had but he was proven wrong by the ache in his chest that only grew stronger the longer he was kept away from his lovebug.

“Doctor, respectfully- if you don’t move the hell out of my way, I will move you myself. That is my daughter, and my fiance is in a different state right now on a business trip so I am the only parent she has right now. If you try to keep me from my child I will take legal action against the hospital and sue for everything you’re worth. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Harry is seething, trying to move past the man in the white lab coat and light blue scrubs. Again, he is stopped.

“I will call security, sir!”

“DADDY!” Stella is now screeching, her little voice hoarse from all the yelling and crying.

“Don’t you fucking hear that? She needs me, and you’re telling me I can’t go be with her! What the hell kind of doctor are you?” Harry is in the man's face, pointing at him vehemently. He doesn’t care that people are starting to watch the scene. Doesn’t care that some people have recognized him and are recording the ordeal. Let the people see him fighting for his family. He doesn’t give a rat's ass if his “image” takes a hit. His daughter is on the line and he won’t back down.

“She’ll be fine-”

“No she won’t! Go ahead and call security. My daughter needs me and you’re not going to stop me from being in that room with her.” With that he pushes past the doctor (who must be an intern or something with how he’s handling this situation) and rushes into the room where his baby is screaming for him. He’s at her side in a matter of seconds, wiping the tears from her face, peppering kisses onto her head, petting her wild hair back from her face, just consoling her in any way that he can.

How fucking dare they try to keep him from her, especially when she’s in a state like this.

“It’s ok baby girl, daddy’s here now. I’ve got you. You’re ok, you’re ok!” He mumbles into her hair, doing his best to stay out of the way of the people examining her but still close enough so she knows he’s right there with her.

Little tears still streamed down her face but she was much calmer now, her breathing more even and body less tense.

“Mr. Styles we’re bringing in the portable x-ray to take a look at her ankle, so you’re going to need to wear this.” He nods and takes the vest given to him, putting it over his shoulders like he sees the others do. A similar article is placed over Stella, who is clinging to Harry’s hand, fearing that she’s going to have to be without him again. But he promises he isn’t going anywhere.

As they’re taking the x-ray his phone starts ringing in his pocket and he checks to see that it’s Y/n calling him back.

“H, what’s wrong, is she ok?” Her panicked voice rushes out as soon as the call connects.

“We’re in the ER right now and she’s getting an x-ray to see what’s going on with her ankle-”

“You’re in the room with her right? She’s not alone?”

The little shards of his heart keep breaking into smaller and smaller pieces as her voice breaks.

“Yeah, I’m right next to her. Don’t worry m’love, she’s not alone!” He glared at the doctor that tried to keep him out as he said that, letting him know he hadn’t forgotten.

“I’m gonna facetime you so I can see her.” She said and he nodded, waiting for it to come through. When it did he quickly accepted it, seeing the love of his life’s face on the screen, with her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks as she wiped away the remaining tears so she didn’t freak out her baby.

“Stell, mumma’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”

“Hi baby girl!” Y/n said as soon as Harry held the phone so Stella could see her mom. The little girl's tear stained cheeks looked exactly like her moms, and her heart broke for her baby.

“Hi mumma,” Stella pouted into the camera, clutching onto her daddy as tight as her little hand could. Harry was a little uncomfortable but he would take this over not being in here at all.

“How do you feel, baby? You ok?” She asked.

“My foot hurts and they wouldn’t let daddy in here and I was scared, but he’s here now so I’m ok.” The little girl rambled off. Y/n almost missed how she said they wouldn’t let Harry in the room but when it finally registered, she was fuming. Absolutely, royally pissed.

“What do you mean they wouldn’t daddy in there?” Stella shrugged and looked up at Harry for an answer. He brought the phone back so he could see her after looking around at the doctors in the room, all doing their job and pretending they weren’t listening to this conversation, but a few of them winced when Y/n asked her question.

“Some bloke tried to keep me out of the room while Stella was being examined but she was on the verge of a whole breakdown. It was like Disneyland in Paris all over again.” He said, referencing the time Harry took his girls to Disneyland while they were in Paris and Stella got separated from her mom and dad. She had never not been able to see at least 1 of her parents before. Needless to say… she didn’t handle it very well. Screaming, crying, and hyperventilating (which freaked her out even more- causing her to scream louder and cry harder) ensued very shortly, disturbing every person around her. But it made it easy for them to find her and she spent a very very long time clutching her tiny arms around her daddy’s neck, not letting him set her down for anything. That was an interesting trip to the bathroom …

“Why would they try to keep you out of the room? You’re her father!” Y/n was on the verge of popping a blood vessel. Of course the one time her baby really needs her, she’s hours away.

“Uh, Mr. Styles, I’m so sorry to interrupt! But the x-ray is complete. There’s no break, it looks like a sprain at worst. Also, about why my intern was saying you weren’t allowed in the room, not that I was listening to your conversation, with ped’s cases we typically only allow legal parents or guardians in the room and your name isn’t anywhere on her file or on her records so he was just trying to follow safety protocols. He didn’t go about the situation as well as he should have because we always want to make sure our patient has what they need and that was obviously you- but that is the reason why you initially weren’t let into the room. You’re not a legal parent or guardian. Based on your situation- you’re legally considered a step-parent and that title doesn’t come along with any legal jurisdiction.” Dr. Robins explained, in quite a few words Harry thinks, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Just sits and realizes that while for the better part of a year and a half, he’s been calling himself Stella’s dad but the whole he’s not been anything… not legally anyway.

Y/n realizes this too and makes a mental note to call their lawyers to do something about that.

“That makes sense… Thank you, Dr. Robbins! I have her mum on the phone, but you knew that, so if there’s anything else I legally can’t do, she’ll have to take care of it like thi-”

“Mr. Styles, we won’t tell if you don’t! Anything else that needs to be signed, we’ll just go ahead and have you do it. Save the hassle for everyone.” Dr. Robbins interrupts him and he smiles, silently thanking her.

“Daddy, what's a legal guardian?” Stella asks after a quiet moment.

“A legal guardian is someone who takes care of you because the law says they can. So because I didn’t help mumma make you and I came into your life a little later, I’m not a legal guardian of you. Not yet anyway.” He mumbles the last part but Y/n catches it.

“Does everyone have a legal guardian?” She hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes with the hand that wasn’t clutching Harry’s.

“At one point yeah, but once you get older you don’t need one anymore because you can take care of yourself.”

The girl pauses, thinking about her daddy’s words before muttering “Don’t wanna take care of myself. Wanna stay with you and mumma forever.”

All the little shards of his heart slowly start to piece back together.

“I want you to stay with me and mumma forever too lovebug.” He cooes. Y/n’s eyes light up, her gaze filled with adoration for her little family.

. * .

“The documents are all drawn up Mrs. Styles, everything is ready for your husband to sign.”

“Thank you so much Ben!”

. * .

“Baby, c’mere. Wanna talk to you about something.”

“Yeah mommy?”

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to quell the tears she could already feel threatening to fall. Her newly wed husband sat beside her on the couch, running his hand along her back and squeezing her shoulder and letting her know he was there if she needed him.

“Do you remember when you and Daddy had that conversation about legal guardians?” The woman asked, pulling her baby into her lap, brushing her hand over the girl's hair affectionately.

“Uhhh, kinda.” She murmured, curling into her mom.

“Do you remember what a legal guardian is?” Y/n rephrased, hoping to jog the girl's memory. Stella nodded and when prompted by her mother explained that “It’s someone who takes care of you until you're old enough to take care of yourself.”

“That’s right baby, very good!”

“And do you remember when we were at the hospital and that doctor was being mean, not letting Daddy into the room with you?” Harry chimes in, scooting closer to his girls. She nodded with a roll of her eyes and a huff of breath, causing a little giggle to erupt from her parents. She really is her mothers daughter.

“Didn’t like him.” She mumbles.

“Do you remember why they didn’t let him into the room?” Y/n asks, knowing she should probably get to the point before her little one checks out and gets bored.

“Cause daddy’s not my legal guardian.” Stella huffs again, rubbing her eyes and nuzzling further into her mom.

“Do you want him to be?”

Stella’s quiet for a moment, tapping her little finger on her chin like she’s thinking hard. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? You want that baby?” Harry asks, pulling her into his lap. The girl wraps her arms around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder, nodding.

“Yeah, Daddy. Want you to be able to come to the doctors with me.” She mumbles sleepily.

The tears Y/n had been fighting off finally broke through, despite her efforts. It’s official. Harry is going to adopt Stella and they would be a family in every sense of the word. No one would be able to take Harry's little girl away from him. All he had to do was sign the paper. Harry felt tears spring to his eyes as well, smoothing his hand along his baby’s back.

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that…” He says, squeezing her a little tighter. Y/n snaps a quick picture before she snuggles into them.

“Love you Mommy, love you Daddy.” She murmurs before falling asleep in Harry's arms. Something that isn’t new, but feels different now for some reason. Things felt a little more official and he hadn’t even signed the papers yet.

#daddy? series #stepdad!harry #stepdad!harry x reader #dad!harry #harry styles x reader #stepdad!harry styles #harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles x singlemom!reader #harry x singlemom!reader #singlemom!reader #one direction

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fruggo · 3 years

Note

Hello ! I saw the enemies fo lovers things and I wanna request if possible

“ rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago. “

With frank if you would and thank you

yessirrr i love frank sm it’s not ok. also umm i may have accidentally written friends to enemies to lovers or something idk. and though i wouldnt necessarily call you friends at the start, you werent really enemies yet???? idk🐸just ummm yeh i love frank

also help how do i not go overboard???? i feel like i made this way too long, please help and i am sorry

warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, frank being a bastard but then you’re like awwww he’s a cute bastard aaaaw

Things were weird with Frank, and they always had been from the moment you stepped foot in the Entity’s realm. He always tunneled you relentlessly, and that made you think of him as a big asshole, but there were some strange details tacked onto the sentiment that greatly confused you, should you think about it for more than three seconds.

Sometimes, it seemed like he went easy on you in chases, like he put in no effort. He would chase you for a while, let you waste his time, and then leave without even getting a hit on you when he definitely had the ability to.

And you hated saying this, but when he handled you, it almost felt…gentle. Granted, he was a killer, and his job was to murder you, but your experiences with him did not quite line up with those of the other survivors.

They always described trials against Frank as “stepping on legos in the middle of the night” or something akin to that. You never felt like that, though—when he chased you, it felt fair. Almost as if he played nice with you. And more often than not, the killer would let you go when he caught you. The reason remained a mystery to you until quite a bit later.

This trial, Frank was in 100% bastard mode. You had begun to think of his trials as quite easy due to his seemingly calm nature around you, so you were rather caught off guard when he downed you in the first 30 seconds of the match and tossed you onto a hook, no gentleness whatsoever.

You wanted to yell at him and ask what the fuck was wrong with him until you realized this was his fucking job, and this is how he should have been treating you all along. Maybe you had just been imagining it all, but you could have sworn he used to leave you alone more than this. Something just felt different.

After you were unhooked, he went for you again. And again. And then you were dead, completely wiped out of the trial. Frank had demolished you with no remorse.

You knew it was silly to feel betrayed, but you really couldn’t help it. In such an insane and hellish place, anything that could be even remotely perceived as kindness seemed like so much more of a big deal than it truly was. So Frank’s supposed “gentleness” with you had felt somewhat like a friend doing you a selfless favor. Of course, it was not a selfless favor, and it was certainly nowhere near kindness, because he was still a killer chasing you with a knife, but your standards had really lowered in this place.

After that trial, you were back to hating Frank for tunneling and bullying you (like you probably should). You began to understand the survivors’ saying about the legos—and you hoped that Frank would step on some legos too, because he fucking sucked sometimes.

And for a while, that’s just how it was. You nearly forgot how he used to go easier on you, and how you used to do okay in his matches. Now every time you were pit against each other it just felt like you were being stuck with a bunch of pins; you never had any time to breathe or rest or do literally anything. He just went after you until you were gone, and there was next to nothing you could do about it.

Everything changed very suddenly during a trial at Ormond.

You were expecting the same old routine with this asshole—chase, blah blah blah, die. You hardly had energy to fight back anymore.

So when he arrived out of breath at the killer shack, somehow knowing you would be here, Frank was surprised to find you relaxing under the window with your arms loosely crossed, a disapproving scowl upon your countenance. It was enough to make him hesitate in his tracks.

You let out a deep breath, refusing to break eye contact with his mask; you kept up that menacing frown for as long as you could, trying to make him feel guilty (who knows if it was even possible for him to feel guilty? But it was worth a try).

“Just kill me,” you said, voice steady and seemingly unbothered. Underneath the surface, you were trembling, but you stood your ground. “That’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it? You’re going to chase me until I’m miserable and kill me off as soon as you can?”

Frank went still, not even fidgeting with his knife like he usually did; he was intrigued by your sudden confidence.

You went on. “I’m really sick and tired of you, you know that? I’m sick of you and your bullshit. Why can’t you treat me like everybody else? At first, you went easy on me. Now you just torture me with your stupid mind games, and frankly, I’m sick of playing! I’m done with you—I don’t care anymore! Just kill me, and I’ll get out of your way, okay asshole? Mori me if you want. I don’t give a shit.”

You put your hands up exasperatedly, fully expecting him to take the offer and just send you back to the campfire right then and there. But the man sighed, pocketed his knife, and sat down right next to you as if this were a normal thing for him to do.

You scooted a few inches away out of instinct. Frank noticed, but he chose not to say a word about it.

It was a long time before he said anything, and when he finally did, you wanted to punch him so bad.

“It’s complicated,” he mumbled. And that was all.

Oh, yeah? It was complicated? You scoffed, hanging your head with a bitter smile. “Oh, okay. Sure.”

Silence again.

Awkward, suffocating silence.

And then Frank got up and left. You were unbothered for the remainder of the trial, not even a scratch or bruise on your body.

Sometimes you simply did things, and you didn’t know why. This thing that you just did was irrational, stupid, unplanned, unwise, and everything in-between, and you knew it was, but frequently you just had no impulse control. Perhaps it was the Entity’s influence, or maybe you had always been this way—you couldn’t really remember.

How did you get here again? Why were you laying on the ground? And why did your leg hurt so fucking much?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, you remember now.

Funnily enough, it seems as though the Entity, along with certain killers, did not like it when survivors tried to enter their side of the forest! But you did it anyways, and it appeared that you had suffered the consequences. It’s not like you had put much thought into it; where was the point in that when nothing mattered anymore and you were stuck in an endless cycle of death?

You remembered entering the killer’s woods, looking around, and doing…something. What was that something? You couldn’t be sure, but then you remembered somebody coming up to you and probably definitely hurting you. Yep, your leg definitely was in a lot of pain. You couldn’t even look at it. Did you pass out for a while? Maybe. How long were you out for?

You lay still there for a while, thinking. Man, it really hurt, and boy, were you miserable. Maybe more miserable than you’d ever felt here. The Entity normally healed wounds immediately, but perhaps you had just angered it so much you deserved to suffer.

Oh, dear! You seemed to be passing out at this time. Yes, that was almost certainly what was happening. Black spots danced across your eyes as your body began to feel distant and numb, but you didn’t feel very worried about it. In fact, you felt like making jokes right now, but you had nobody to make jokes to and you probably couldn’t even speak.

Just as you began to accept it, there was a strange thumping sensation vibrating through the ground growing closer…and closer…

Footsteps! That’s good!

Oh. Not if it’s a killer. That’s not good, probably.

But you had no way of protesting when you felt yourself being picked up, because those black spots in your eyes were dancing a lot faster now, perhaps something akin to an Irish jig, and you also couldn’t feel your limbs.

Then you were fast asleep again, dreaming of Irish dancers who were actually big fluffy cloud people wearing leprechaun clothes. Nobody but you would ever know this, and it was going to stay that way.

On the bright side, it made it a lot easier for your rescuer to carry you to safety like this.

When you awoke once more, you were horrified to find yourself in the Ormond lodge of all places. You knew immediately what had happened and were determined to escape as soon as possible.

Your injured leg proved to be a huge problem, however, and you collapsed the second you attempted to find freedom. Trying again, you collapsed once more, and probably maimed yourself further in the process.

Hearing the commotion from the second floor, your least favorite member of The Legion descended down from the main stairs, refusing to look directly at you even as he scooped you up and plunked you (gently) back onto the couch, which was rather comfortable (not that you would ever tell him that).

So he was playing it cool, huh?

Okay. You could play it cool, too. You were cool. Smooth as butter.

No. You really couldn’t be cool in a situation like this, and plus, your mind was still a little woohoo since whatever accident had occurred. Suddenly you blurted out, “Frank, I hate your guts.”

And he had the audacity to laugh. He laughed at you! He did the man chuckle thing, as if what you were saying was funny. No! You were completely serious! You did hate his guts!

Perhaps your face showed how upset you were, because he started to apologize (still laughing).

“Maybe you should go back to sleep,” Frank said after calming down a bit.

No. You couldn’t go back to sleep. You did not want to experience dancing cloud people dressed as leprechauns ever again in your life, for the rest of eternity. Never again.

So you shook your head violently, refusing to give an explanation, which just provoked Frank to anger all of a sudden. If you went back to sleep, he could have some alone time while the rest of The Legion was gone. He kept pushing, and you kept resisting, and he pushed and you resisted, until finally he gave up and let you off with a warning. If you made him mad again, he was throwing you out in the snow.

Fine with me, you said. Okay, I’ll do it right now, he said. No balls, you said.

So then Frank casually went to scoop you up in his arms again, and you started to freak out and beat your hands against his chest until he put you back down. He was was awfully mindful of your hurt leg for someone who was about to throw you into the snow.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please don’t throw me out,” you fussed. You thought he wouldn’t actually do it. You didn’t know it, but you were right—he was just messing with you because it was funny seeing you scared.

After a bit more griping back and forth, Frank began to grow concerned about your leg. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic because things were so odd between the two of you; this was your first interaction since the brief encounter in the shack. But he swallowed his pride, because the wound seemed to be getting worse by the minute.

“Hey, do you want me to, uhh…get some supplies?” Frank asked awkwardly. When you didn’t understand, he continued, “Your leg? It looks like it hurts…I could fix it if you want.”

You barked out a laugh at his words, unbelieving of this shift in attitude. “Rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago,” you snickered, genuinely finding it amusing.

Frank took offense. He was trying to be nice for once, and you thought it was funny. And his situation really was complex, whether you chose to believe it or not. Maybe he should just tell you to get it off of his chest.

“Listen,” he said, voice laced with seriousness. “When I told you things were complicated, I meant it.”

Sensing the mood change from his tone and body language, you stopped smiling and decided to pay attention to him. Just this once. Never again. After this you could go back to hating him.

Frank continued. “The Entity was going to start…well, hurting me, if I didn’t start doing better in trials. I really didn’t want to sacrifice you, which is embarrassing to admit, but I’ll say it. And I don’t think it liked that.”

You were surprised. And also relieved that you had been right all along—he had been going easy on you at first.

“Why me, though?” you asked, confused. “Why wouldn’t you want to sacrifice me? What about the other survivors?”

If the slight tilt of his head at your question didn’t answer it for you, the way he started tapping his feet and cracking his knuckles so nervously did.

Boy, if looks could kill, you would have died instantly at the scowl Frank sent your way; you grinned pridefully at the realization that this man was down bad. You couldn’t see the expression behind his mask, though, which Frank was thankful for.

He hated every second of this, but you loved it. You reveled in his embarrassment.

Leaning forward on your hands, you begged, “Tell me more! I want to hear all about your feelings for me.”

“I could stab you right now, you know that?”

“But you won’t. You liiiiike me!”

“What are you, eight years old?”

“No, but I am severely injured and have lost a lot of blood so I am not necessarily in the right headspace at the moment.”

“You make a fair point.”

“So tell me! What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Your ass.”

“No, really.”

“Okay, your ass and your hair.”

“You know what, Frank, I still hate your guts.”

“No, you don’t.”

You paused for a moment. It was probably the blood loss talking, you decided later, but you said, “No. Maybe I don’t.”

#:) i kinda rly like this ahaha it was fun #i hope it’s okay <3 #fruggo writes #requests #enemies to lovers prompt #frank morrison x reader #frank morrison #the legion x reader #the legion #dbd x reader #dbd oneshot #dbd writing #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight #dbd #dbd frank

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eponymous-rose · 3 years

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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bluejayblueskies · 3 years

Note

How about an AU where Jon and Gerry have been dating since Uni and have managed to keep it secret from everyone (including Elias and Gerttrude) by complete accident?

send me an au and i'll give you 5+ headcanons about it! requests closed!

by accident you say? 👀

1. jon and gerry meet somewhere completely ridiculous (yet also completely mundane) where the chance of them running into one another was like.... one in a million. like, maybe jon's class got out early and so he decided to walk a little further from campus to try a new coffee shop that he's never tried before and never will again because he realizes he really hates the drinks and that it's not worth the walk, and gerry is in the area looking into something leitner-related and he looks down at his phone a bit too long and runs smack into jon when he's walking away from the coffee shop with a lukewarm travel cup of hot chocolate because they were out of tea (what kind of coffee shop is out of tea? jon thinks with a scowl).

the hot chocolate spills all over gerry and jon's like 'oh god sorry, do you- do you want me to do something?' and gerry's about to brush past him when he sees the person he was looking for and shit, they're looking this way so without thinking he just... grabs jon and pulls him into the nearest shop. which happens to be selling something weird, idk, little ceramic figurines. and gerry does Not know what to say because like, he can't tell this stranger that he's hiding from maybe-a-fear-avatar! so he's like 'uh. you can make it up to me by.... helping me pick out a figurine? for, er. my mother. yes.'

so they're just walking through this shop, gerry's shirt still wet with hot chocolate, jon Very confused and also Very late for class but somehow nervous to just leave, so they look at figurines together. gerry keeps looking back out the window and nope, maybe-an-avatar is still there, and now they're sitting on the bench and it doesn't look like they're planning on moving anytime soon and gerry really doesn't want to take the chance and gamble that the maybe-avatar won't recognize him or realize what he's looking for. so gerry keeps shooting down every recommendation jon gives him with some progressively-more bullshit reasons--'oh, my mum already has that one' 'that one's too expensive, i can't afford it' 'that's too small' 'i don't like the way that one's looking at me' 'my mom's allergic to dogs, actually'--until jon's finally like 'okay what is going on and can i leave now?'.

and the maybe-avatar is still out there and gerry's certain now that they're watching him and he's suddenly very aware that he's spent a long period of time with this guy whose name he actually didn't quite catch and that it definitely looks like they're working together and ah, fuck, if i let him leave and he gets targeted because of me i'd feel horrible. so gerry sighs and thinks fuck it and is like 'listen i'm gonna level with you. i'm here looking for a book and there is somebody watching me right now and i know how that sounds but it's really not as shady as you think and also really not my fault but it is my fault that you're here too so. yeah. sorry i don't know if it's safe for you to leave.'

and all jon can think to say is 'a book?'.

and gerry's like 'don't worry about that bit, you really wouldn't understand' and jon gets all bristly and says primly, 'well, i'm a lit major and i work at the university library maybe i could help' and gerry can't help but laugh and say, 'really hope there's not a leitner in your uni library, mate'. and then jon gets this wide-eyed expression on his face like he's just seen a ghost and says 'what did you just say?' and before gerry can deflect again jon says, more intensely, but also hesitantly, 'is... is it called a guest for mr. spider?'.

and gerry's like 'um. no, it's not' and jon deflates a bit but now gerry's curious and he's like 'why?' and jon tries to deflect like 'oh clearly i misunderstood' but gerry's not budging and he's like 'no, no--have you read a leitner? gold bookplate, super fucked-up consequences?' and jon just goes pale which is really all the confirmation gerry needs. gerry feels the need to clarify that he hates them too--that he burns them whenever he gets the chance.

weakly, jon says, 'there... there's more than one?'. and then, a bit stronger: 'you- you're looking for another one? here? and you're going to burn it?'

gerry: yes, that's the plan. why--?

jon, without hesitation: i want to help

and maybe gerry is hesitant at first but, well. it seems like jon is already fully in this, so he reluctantly agrees, and they hunt down the leitner together and gerry lets jon burn it and then they're friends (and it really doesn't take long at all for that to transition into partners).

2. gertrude and elias missing that they're dating is a comedy of errors, including a lot of rather dramatic near misses including, but not limited to:

- jon always leaves a room just before one of them enters

- gerry always talks ambiguously about the person helping him hunt down leitners; elias always assumes he means gertrude, gertrude always assumes he means his mother. this is exploited to a comedic level

- getrude thinks 'going on a date' is code for gerry having a new lead on jurgen leitner and leaving to go chase it down

- when jon joins the institute as a researcher and runs into gerry in the building for the first time, he greets him neutrally in a mutually-agreed display of professionalism while working. gertrude and elias both remark at the fact that 'it's so nice that jon/gerry has a friend'

- gertrude, opening the door to the break room and bustling around inside, looking over at gerry where he's standing in front of the counter, jon sat atop it with his legs bracketing gerry's hips (they have very clearly just been kissing): oh hello gerard. jonathan. talking about leitners again?

jon, a bit embarrassed, slipping into Ultra Professionalism to compensate: i was just discussing with mr. keay the details of case number 0031211 regarding ms. cortena's experience with the talking vase--

gertrude, not at all interested, already knows that it's fake: right, right, carry on then

*after she's gotten her tea and left*

gerry, holding in laughter: 'mr. keay'?

jon, blushing: shut up gerry

3. gerry, casually, not actually aware that getrude doesn't know that he and jon are dating: yeah so then i had to leave my date early to go chase down this leitner and jon was not pleased

gertrude, after a hum of acknowledgement: how unfortunate. i'm not sure how jonathan's opinion on the matter is relevant, however. was he disappointed that you didn't ask him to track down the leitner with you?

gerry, Confused™️: he was.... at the date?

gertrude: at the date? whatever for?

gerry, now staring openly: because i was on a date with him? because we're dating? wait, did you not know that?

gertrude, not willing to admit that she missed that for nearly three years: of course i knew that, gerard. don't be foolish.

gerry, now even more confused: but--

gertrude, without missing a beat: i trust the leitner hunt went well, then?

gerry, after a long pause: um. yes?

gertrude, nodding: good.

4. there's an institute party and everyone's allowed to bring a plus-one

elias, noticing that jon's alone at the party: ah hello, jonathan. no plus one for you today?

jon: no, gerry couldn't make it, unfortunately. family business.

elias, somehow Oblivious, and also very Old Fashioned and way too familiar with his employees: quite. though typically, plus ones are of the romantic capacity. it's nice that you would consider gerard an acceptable substitute though, i suppose

jon, Bi confusion and suddenly unsure if his boss is homophobic: um. it.... it would have been in a romantic capacity?

elias, still Not Getting It: ah, i see. perhaps for the best, then--office parties don't make for pleasant first dates, in my experience

jon, unsure of how much of his personal life he wants to share with elias but not really wanting to pretend like he's not been dating gerry for going on three years now: um. it- it wouldn't be our first date. or- or really a date at all, just an- an event, i really don't think gerry would call this a date

elias, Getting it a little bit: ah. unfortunate, then. congratulations, i suppose, are in order. was it a recent engagement?

jon, ??????, biting the bullet: we've been together for three years, elias

5. jon, handing gerry a wrapped package on their fourth anniversary after they started dating: this is, um. this is for you

gerry, opening it and holding up the little ceramic figure of a dog: jon. is this--?

jon, in a rush: it's from that shop. where we, uh. where we met.

gerry, overcome with such love he really can't stand it, throwing all of his proposal plans out the window and digging the little square velvet box out of his pocket: jon can i ask you a question--

(jon is so surprised he just starts crying. it's only the fifth time gerry's ever seen him cry and he's so worried he said something wrong at first but then jon manages to say yes around his tears and jon wraps his arms around gerry tightly and buries his face in gerry's shoulder and whispers i love you and gerry hugs him tightly in return and says i love you, too, jon. i love you too.)

#the magnus archives #tma #jongerry #gerry keay #jonathan sims #ask #rugletthewren #((i'm still working on all of these just at a slower pace than before))#also this one came out very long and way more detailed than i planed ahsdglkglsa #'i'll give you 5+ headcanons' more like i'll write an entire fic in bullet form lmao #my fic

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ranhaitanisgf · 3 years

Text

;; 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍𝖊

otherwise read as: scaramouche is stupidly soft for you

❧ masterlist

As it would seem, being acquainted with Harbingers from the Fatui always brought about interesting events, and more times than naught, these events would come about to ruin whatever plans you had for the rest of the day, not that you exactly minded most of the time.

"What a bold subordinate you are, I wonder what exactly your intentions are..." You pondered thoughtfully.

"Just shut up and be quiet, your constant mumbling is givin' me a damn headache!" Typical Fatui Skirmishers, and especially typical of those gifted Cryo suits by the Tsaritsa. They all looked and acted exactly the same; you found it quite interesting how they seemed all be so similar.

"Oh~? And eating an entire Sweet Madame in two bites doesn't give a headache or at least a stomachache?" You answered back. (If you guys don't know one of the Cryo skirmishers idle's is literally eating like an entire sweet madame or something like pls sir what are you doing-)

He grumbled something under his breath and tightened the rope around your arms and neck, trying to constrict your breath.

"Wow, kinky~ I didn't know the Fatui were like- oh fuck..." A sharp pain to the side of your head promptly shut you up, and you clenched your eye as blood started to drip down from where the Skirmisher had hit you with his heavy armor.

"God, your mouth almost makes this not worth it, your stupid friend better show up so I can become a Harbinger already!" You rolled your eyes at his words, instead quite pissed off now that you had a pounding headache.

"And your stupidity almost makes up for the headache you've given me. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?" Before he could respond, you froze the rope on your hands and easily broke it off, along with the rope around your neck. In a flash, the Skirmisher was pinned on the ground, your foot on his neck.

"One would think that you would research somebody and study them before kidnapping them, wouldn't you think? Research is one of the most important things when studying a target, but you wouldn't know anything about that." The terrified look on his face made you think twice; while you did enjoy researching and studying people, this man would serve no use to you, although it would be a little enjoyable to scare him.

A deadly aura suddenly surrounded you, malice in your eyes as you stared at him.

"̸̡̹̻͉͕̈́͂̆ͅĮ̷̠̺̥̠͎̦̭̿̉́̄l̴͓̮̲͈͔̻̜͉̙̠̋͘͠l̶̛͍͙̍͗̍̿̏̒͋̑̕ ̴̈́̋̓̅̋͊l̶̥̳͓͔̣̪͆͆͌̚ë̷͒̽̍̍̃͝t̶͈͇̫̘̮̀̽̎ ̷̙̺̺͎̮̳͉̅̅ͅy̶̢̧̹͓̺̬̹͔̤̽̉̋̊͗ͅo̷̧̭̞͑̈́u̴͈̜̻̯̦̓͆̈͗̉̏̈́̂̊̚ ̵̝̟͕̬̟̍̎̚ǵ̶̫͚̮̣̭̥̣̯̎͆̎̀ô̵͓͎̓͊̈́̈́͗̽͘͝ ̶̛͚̼̤̲̙̑͑̔̀͑t̵̙̦̻̔̽ḩ̸̪̟̽̑̋͝i̵͖̗̠̭̓̃̃̇̐s̷̨̮̞͓͕̦̭͓̘̓̏̉͑̈́̚ ̵̧̛̤̮̭̫͖̹͖̖̗̃̓̓̉̅̏̌̕͝ẗ̷̡͈̜̯̗͙̘͕̐̈́͗̑̔̀̾̀̄ͅḯ̵̱̝̰̽ͅm̷̢̮͉͔̞͖͕̦̅́̃͐͘ẽ̴̼̣̄̓̔͒͑̾͜,̴͈̲͎͍̹̏̇̀̀̔͌̍́͑͝ ̶̨̛͔̞̳̞̝̞̈́͗́͗̄ͅb̷̼̤͍̖͎̗̭̎́û̴̦͚̹̞͎̜̰̿̅͌t̸̼̪̍̀͆͌̿̏̇̀̚ ̶̡̨͚͙̞͓̯̞̰̌̾̏́͐͑̓͛̄̕n̴̡͖͎̐̈́e̸̖̹̯͂x̴͈̀̄̊̓̽̉̆̚͘t̶̝̺̠̺̲̗̽̃͂̅̉͑̆͘ ̶̥̮̝̿͘͜ͅt̷̤̯͎͚̍i̵̩̬͇̱͓̫̇̽̃́͐͂͊́͜͜͝ͅm̷̩͕̦͒ę̸̧̡̺̤̥̯̗͈͌͆͝ ̷̧̼̜͈̭̂̏̋ý̷̨͎̪͙͚̫̘̳̳͌̃͌̾͝ͅȏ̴̫̟͍́͐̉͘͝u̴̡͔̳̿͋ͅ ̵͔̥̮̤͗̾ͅm̵̪̟̳̞̯̭͖̿͗̀́ę̷̢̛͇̫͈̦́̇̌̕s̷̨̬̘͈͓͓̫̺͔̀͗̽̍̕s̷͓̤̦̮̗͊̚ ̷̢̡͇͓̙̞̪̟͗̌̃̌̍̅̓̐͑͠w̶̡͈͚̺̩̘̬̲̼̙̐͛͋̚i̷̫͐̉͋̿̐̈͒͐̉̚ẗ̴͓͛̔̓̌̽̀̓͆͝h̸̢̡͍̝͈͉̝͂̈́̍ ̵̰̲̰̞͕͚̿̊͌͗͐͑̿̓̕̚m̸̛̺͔͕̣̰͐̈́̄̑̚ͅë̴͇̀̍͝͝͠ ̶̺͚̹̳̈̃̑̑͑͐́̆͘ͅi̸̫̤̤͓͖̹͐̇̿̾̆̅͛̔̕͝ͅš̷̺̠̟̭̹͋̚ ̵̣̊̀͐͊t̷̛̬͚͊̿͆́̑͆̒̚h̷͍͎̜̖̗̫̉̓̈́̈͐͊̈̔͘ͅe̸̠̔͆̇͌̐̾̿͊̓͝ ̶̛̪̣̠̬̹͈̉͌̆͝͝ͅl̸̖͉̩͉̤̰̞̗̋̀̏̊̑̄a̴̛͍̫̎͂̊̈́̒͗̇͠s̵̛̛̜͉̰̼̼̦̙̈́̑̍͌͐͝ͅţ̸͙̩́̍̑̾̍͋͊͘͝ ̶̡͕̯̙̬͗̈͛̔̕͝t̴̬͍͚̦͍͈͇͇̂̆̓̕i̸͍̥̫̝͔̘̅̿̉͜m̴̥͕̗̗̼͔͇̒́͒̃ĕ̷̘͛̚͝.̶̢̖̩͚͍̈́̆̔̍̾̕͝ ̵͙͓̣̝̔̌̏͘̕L̴̡̛̹̼̜̰̝͚̳͛̿͊̆̈̈́͜ë̶̪̋̉́̋̓̄̆͜͝a̵̟̙̎́̍̃̓̋͐̃̈́͠v̸̡̬̻̪̺͂̄̊̏͛͒̕͝͝ę̶̟̈́̽̃̈́̈́̂̾̄͝.̶̧̧̜̦̻͖̯̫̈́̿̐͒͊̇̐͋͗͜"̴̺̳͓̱̞̅̔͒͆̀̐̃

("I'll let you go this time, but next time you mess with me is the last time. Leave.")

A strangled scream left the man's throat as you lifted your foot off of him. He immediately started running as fast he could, and you watched until he had run off into the distance.

Sighing, you wiped off some of the blood on your head with your sleeve, wincing from the pounding that was a lot more prominent now.

"Goodness gracious, I'm so fuckin tired...haven't slept in six goddamn days, 'Can you do my commission for me?' 'Can you do this for me?' Holy fuck..." You walked over to a nearby tree and slumped against it, fatigue taking over your body. The sky was a nice blue, so at least there wasn't going to rain anytime soon.

"Blegh...still have to go meet up with Childe...go all the way to Liyue..."

"Didn't think I would find you in the middle of this dump of a camp."

"Huh? Oh..." As you looked up, you saw Scaramouche looking around the camp with a disgusted look on his face, before rolling his eyes and looking back at you.

"Is that really all you have to say to me?"

"Yes."

"..."

"Wait, why are you here? Thought you were supposed to be doing the fandango somewhe-"

"Do not finish that sentence." You looked up at Scaramouche, who had an extremely irritated face.

"Meh, you deserve it. After all, it was one of your subordinates who slowed down my day." Scaramouche scoffed at you, taking another glance at the now-abandoned Fatui camp.

You closed your eyes, determined to get some sleep before your meetup with Childe.

"What happened here? I thought my subordinates were cleaner than this,"

"Say that to your Cryo guys who eat an entire Sweet Madame in one bite, and also like to randomly knock out people when they're doing important things." You huffed, getting up and stretching your arms over your head, wincing again from the pounding in your head.

"Anyways, I better get going now, I have to go all the way to Liyue and meet up with Childe and whatnot, and also-"

"What happened to your head?" You glanced at Scaramouche, whose eyebrows were furrowed as he locked his eyes onto the slight bleeding on your temple.

"Huh? Oh, just a thing that happened when I was here, no biggie." Scaramouche didn't say anything in return, but instead walked over and turned your head to the side so he could get a better look. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his fingers on your chin; it felt like electro was triggered when his skin touched yours.

"Er, Scara-"

"Shut up." His hand gently moved your hair, trying to get a better look at the wound.

"Seriously, I need to-"

"Didn't I say to shut up?" You bit your lip, nervous about his next moves, yet also slightly excited. After a moment of looking at the wound, he took a small square of gauze and taped it to your temple.

The alcohol burned, making you wince a bit, but what was more interesting was Scaramouche's sudden behavior, but you were too tired to look into it further.

The feeling of his fingers slightly in your hair caused you to close your eyes for a brief moment from your fatigue, though you quickly opened them once you realized what you were doing.

"Are you tired?" You moved your head back to look at him, not realizing he was so close; close enough in fact that you were just under his hat, the brim bumping the crown of your head. His purple eyes pierced yours, telling you to answer the question. A slight flush filled your cheeks, but he didn't seem to be moving anytime soon.

"I guess so, I've been really busy for the past week, but I still need to get to Liyue by tonight because I'm meeting up with Childe and Zhongli for dinner to discuss some stuff about the Rite of Parting and the Qixing, and apart of the whole Qixing talk I bet the adepti will be brought up, as well as some research about starconches and cor lapis, oh and also- ah, nevermind, I'm rambling." You awkwardly smiled at him as he stared at you, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"You really are an idiot. I can tell you haven't slept for a couple of days, have you been doing other people's commissions, or perhaps it's more research? You're too nice sometimes." He stepped back, his hand pressing to his forehead in a frustrated manner before looking back at you with a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"You even let that scum go, even though he betrayed direct orders from me. Archons...you're so dumb," He sighed, looking at you with a softer look.

"Okay cool, is that all? I kind of need to leave now." You stared blankly at him, struggling to keep your eyes open, and barely managing to keep them half-open, although your other struggle was trying to get away so you could relax and not have your heart beating so quickly.

"(Y/N), you're so fatigued you can't even keep your eyes open, I can see it from here. Just- ugh, just stop doing so many things for other people at the cost of your own health."

"Mhm..." You leaned back against the tree, your eyes closed as you tried to listen to the rest of his words.

He suddenly stopped talking, which made you curious, but not curious enough to open your eyes; the relief from closing them felt amazing.

Yet all of a sudden, you felt a presence in front of you, and a hand behind your head, which suddenly pushed your head forward onto something warm.

"You're such an idiot." You felt a bright blush fill your cheeks, and your heart started beating extremely fast, though when you listened closely, you could hear another heart beating just as fast. His chin rested on the top of your head, holding you close to him as his other arm slid around your waist.

"Stop calling me an idiot."

"Whatever, just...sleep. You don't have to go and meet with Childe." You raised your head slightly to look at him, but he pushed your head back down into his chest, (possibly because he didn't want you to see him blushing 0///0)

"Why not?"

"I told him you couldn't make it,"

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter why,"

"Yes, it does-"

"Stop asking questions, I'm taking you back,"

"Back where?"

"Goth Grand Hotel,"

"Mm..." After a moment or two, Scaramouche pulled away, and you huffed from the sunlight that was now in your eyes.

"Scaramouche..." Before you knew it, his hands slid under your legs and under your back, and he was carrying you.

"Huh-!?"

"Shut up! Just sleep!" He scoffed, turning his head to the side. An idea popped into your head, and before you could really think it over...

"Scaramouche,"

"What." He slightly turned his head to look at you, a furious blush all over his face.

Your hand went behind his neck, just under where his hat started to cover the back of his head and pushed him towards you, but stopped right before your lips touched.

"Your turn~" You sleepily said, a lazy smile on your face. Without hesitating, Scaramouche pushed his lips onto yours, locking your lips in a firm kiss.

The electro between your lips was dazzling, and your heart was on overdrive at this point, although it sadly ended after a few moments when you pulled away.

You immediately passed out, your fatigue winning you over.

"What an idiot."

#scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #readerinsert #reader #genshinimpactxreader #reader insert #scaramouchexreader #;; hana writes genshin

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apixrl · 3 years

Text

YOUR EREN.

eren jeager x fem!reader

WARNING(S): angst. slight manipulation. s4 spoilers. brief mentions of (but not actually) throwing up at the end.

word count: 5.9k

song: a soulmate who wasn't meant to be // jess benko

note(s): oh, that sound? it's just the sound of my tears whilst writing this oneshot. no biggie

The prison cells underneath headquarters were as dark and dreary as ever as you stood opposite them. Whilst the windows were generously large, the night sky was not so giving. Clouds were gloomy and blocked out the moon and stars, replacing it with a heavy downpour of rain. If you listened closely, you could pick up on the faint 'pitter patter' as droplets met the pebbled ground outside, the sound comforting compared to the echoing silence within the walls. Mattresses were placed in the corners of each cell, old and tattered after years of use by many different faces. You could only imagine their discomfort as you'd never been required to sleep on them, your record in the Scout Regiment practically a clean slate after your years of service. You were someone who took your position as a soldier seriously; respected your superiors and did as told when told.

As for Eren Jeager? It seemed in recent events he was past the point of caring.

Such a fact was blatant as you stared at him through the prison bars, your back pressed against the wall, body stiff and fearful of what would happen if you tried to step closer. Eren's gaze was terrifying to witness even from the odd angle you stared at him. His eyes locked on the ceiling as he lay flat on his back on the bed of his cell. His hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, some strands not long enough to reach so far back were fated to live a life of their own. They glued to his temples and forehead and even entwined with the strands pulled back. You couldn't decide if the look was flattering or not.

"I...," You blurted out without thought of what you planned to actually say, your pathetic attempt at making conversation followed up with a nervous whimper. Eren barely inched a muscle when you broke the quiet, from his eyes to his hands that lay lifeless at his side. He remained laid down as if you weren't even there. That made your heart weep in the worst of ways and your mind qualm - to think the last time you were together he was holding you in his arms as you gazed under the stars. And now he could barely spare you a second glance.

"It's been a while since you were last cooped up in one of these cells," You eventually tried again, calming yourself down as best you could by trying to be light-hearted. "Remember when we would play cards through the bars when I could visit? Those were fun times," You smiled sadly at the memories, eyes drifting away from Eren and towards nothing in particular. The smile then faded, the yearn to experience easier days once more hitting you as hard as stone. "If only we could experience them again,"

Your tone lowered, left unhinged since you knew mourning for what was no more was a waste of time. But you couldn't help yourself. All you wanted was to live in the past, where the titans were slane and the Scouts had reached the sea. All you wanted was to live out your days with your friends, talk and laugh with no need to worry about the rest of the world. All you wanted was to fall into Eren's embrace, to love him with all your might as he did you. There was a short period where that was your life, one filled with simplicity and peace after years of blood and death and gore that haunted your every nightmare. It had been pleasant, and you missed it. More than you were willing to admit.

If only Eren hadn't pushed things too far.

Eren's eyes shifted after a prolonged silence, travelling from the ceiling to you across the way. He was quick to take note of your vacancy, your conflict as you stared at him. How you created your own form of a jail cell by restricting yourself to the opposite side of the room. Maintaining a safe distance like you sensed you would get hurt stepping too far. Eren sighed loudly at that fact. Which caught your attention, E/C eyes flicking back to him at the sound. Eren pushed himself upright, eyes leaving you to stare at the floor before he hoisted himself off of the bed. Then, he turned to face you, searching for you through the wisps of his unkempt fringe.

You held your breath when he did, unable to fathom just how uncomfortable his gaze made you feel. Typically, Eren looking your way would send butterflies to your stomach. Your heart would perform somersaults and beat soundly with joy. Your cheeks would heat up, to which he would smile and tease and call it cute - merely deepening your flustered state like it was some fun game.

But this time, upon him meeting your gaze, nausea swiftly followed after. Rising concern over unconditional love based on his expression alone. It was empty. Unreadable. Nothing you had ever seen him display before. You had witnessed most if not all his worst moments up front but none of them - none of them, came close to just how desolately devoid he looked in that moment.

His lips didn't twitch, firmly held together as they added to his glaring aura. His brows arched sterner than Captain Levi's when you failed to clean a room up to standards, you didn't think it was possible for them to be so closely knit. But the worst part that made you truly sick to the stomach at the unfamiliarity of it all, were his eyes. Their usual bright and gleaming jade green blend that had entranced you from the instant you met Eren were now bleaker and more stationary than ever. They no longer held a zest and determination that motivated you to fight another day, no notable twinkle against the dimly lit room. Only a barren vacancy the most broken are succumbed to display.

You felt the need to comment on it, communicate to Eren just how worried you were. That you wanted to help him because you cared about him more than anyone else in the entire world. You were willing to lay your life down for him, and had even nearly become an anonymous number in the ranks because of that sheer will alone. However, before you had the chance to open your mouth, Eren beat you to it.

"Did Hange send you down here to try and sway me?" Eren asked half-rhetorically, taking a couple of steps forwards until the bars of his cell stopped him. "You of all people should know you can't stop me, so why even bother?"

You were taken back by his bluntness, even more so by his disregard for your previous words. Like you had never said them in the first place and he was the one initiating conversation. Perhaps it was so Eren felt he had the control, asserting dominance in a relationship where he already held more than half of it. His aim was unclear, but you persisted nonetheless.

"No, they didn't," You said. "I came here on my own accord, Eren," You shrugged your shoulders aimlessly. "I wanted to see you. I-I've missed you," Eren's eyes narrowed in suspicion, studying your frame for any sign indicating you were lying. He came out with no clear answer as from the instant you had set foot in the room you'd been shaking like a lamb bleating after its mother. Afraid. His arms crossed over his broad chest still in doubt, the action reminding you just how much he'd changed over the last few years. He was taller, looming over you even whilst feet apart. He was no doubt stronger, evident with or without the fact he held the power of three titans within him. Eren was no longer the vigorous and unruly boy he once was, who devoted his strength to rid the world of all the titans. He was now an indestructible force that vouched for freedom, his will to fight unshaken by no one.

"If you missed me so much," He started, looking down at you with what only felt like shame. "What took you so long to visit?" Raising a brow, you realised he held a point with his inquiry. If you proposed you missed him why hadn't you visited? The truth was you were scared of who you would find on the other side when you did. Levi and Hange had given you the option since the first day Eren was placed in his cell. But no matter the undying need to have Eren in your line of sights again, you failed to find the courage to make that final step.

"I wanted to, I-I really did," You said in a panic. "I was just scared! I didn't know what to say or how to speak to you after... after...,"

"After what?" Eren reprimanded, glowering at you as his hands wrapped around the iron bars. Your eyes widened and you whimpered, shaking your head frantically as a means to apologise.

"N-No Eren. I didn't mean it like that I just -," You swallowed thickly, your breathing quickening as Eren's pressing stare intimidated you more and more by the second. You hated how much you were falling apart. Where had your Eren gone?! Your Eren who always fretted over you during and after battles. Your Eren who grew antsy at Jean or Connie if they got a little too comfortable in your company. Your Eren who snuck into your room past curfew to share stories of his life late into the night. Your Eren who crammed his lips on yours when he couldn't hide his feelings any longer, confirming your relationship would turn from friendship to deepened love. You missed your Eren. You wanted your Eren back. Was that so much to ask?!

"You just what?" He spoke harshly, impatience riddled within every letter and syllable. You were quick to notice his grip on the bars tighten to the point you thought he'd snap them clean in two.

"I...," You trailed off, finishing your cut sentence with a defeated sigh. Your hands lowered to your sides as your head hung forwards. Perhaps being upfront with him was the only way you could go. "You killed people, Eren. Innocent people that hadn't done anything wrong! You ate somebody. Women, men and children crushed under debris like they were nothing. Y-You... you made Armin destroy that port and your decision making got Sasha killed!" You brought a hand to your forehead, not realising how distressed you sounded as you recalled that night. Tears started forming in your eyes, lip trembling. "Shit! I nearly... if Jean hadn't shot that Marley soldier first then I would've...,"

You had experienced a rocky start during the raid on Marley. One of your biggest flaws as a soldier was your will to take another life. Life as in... a human life. You despised the concept and did everything in your power to avoid it all costs, even if your fellow soldiers disagreed (especially Levi's, who persisted humans could be just as bad as titans when it came to killing). That exact flaw came forth when you first encountered a Marleyan soldier, and your hesitation almost ended with a bullet between your eyes. Had Jean not been behind you just in time... your grave would have been undoubtedly determined. There was a time where Eren was the same as you, never wanting to act and inflict harm on other humans. But times had changed since then. Oh, how you hated how much it had changed since then. None of it was fair.

A silence ensued, your stifled sobs the only thing willing to break it. Eren watched you motionlessly, the glare still apparent on his face as your emotions got the better of you. You hadn't realised just how shaken up you were from what happened. Sure, you had faced death many times, but always at the hand of titans. Where you had to evade giant swooshing limbs and teeth that could churn your flesh as cows do cud. Never had you looked another human in the eye and watched them contemplate killing you. To aim a gun directly your way and prep the shot as you realised what their intentions were. Then a feeble attempt to escape approaching death, all too distracted with your life flashing before your eyes for you to see the way out. That was one of the scariest moments of your life. You never wanted to endure it again. Never.

"Come here,"

You stiffened up, looking at Eren amidst dishevelled strands of H/C hair falling over your face. His glare had left and his face had returned to its neutral state, his eyes boring into you with his demand lingering in the air. You wiped your nose on your sleeve as well as your eyes, confused by the abrupt change in atmosphere. A truly weird circumstance and turn of events you weren't expecting indeed. At first, you weren't sure doing as Eren said was a smart idea, having heard Hange's experience with him during a debrief. You didn't believe Eren would treat you with the same sort of disrespect, but you also didn't want to take that risk just in case.

"B-But...,"

"Just do it," He roughly snapped, suspense in his tone kicking you up the hind to move. With a yelp, you pushed yourself off of the wall - back sighing out in bliss after starting to ache because of the uneven rocky surface. You gingerly stepped towards Eren, biting down on your lip to stop it trembling in fright. You came to a stop once close enough to the iron bars, hands going to wrap themselves around them, around the same ones as Eren. Whether you intended for that or it was just subconscious instinct you didn't know. Finally, your eyes dropped to the floor, lost on where to focus. Eren hummed a complacent sigh at your actions, head tilting to the side as he looked you up and down. You couldn't find an answer to what was running through his mind, blank gaze concealing all form of emotion and clarity. Then, just as you thought the silence couldn't grow any more powerful, Eren lifted his hand and reached out for you.

You gasped at the sudden contact, the feeling of Eren's hand cupping your face sending all sorts of sensations through you. His palm was warm despite the cool air of the prison cell. It was as though his hand was constructed to cradle your cheek, moulded into the perfect structure to which you filled in the empty spaces. His hand felt soft even after years of wear and tear of fighting and training, fingers long but not at all discomforting. You had forgotten just how pleasant the feel of Eren's thumb across your cheekbone was until he initiated the motion, almost a way to lure you in. And with your deprivation of his touch - of him. That was enough to have you wrapped around his finger.

"I forgot how nice it was to hold you like this," Eren declared monotonously, though his expression betrayed his lack of care. Something about it had calmed, but he didn't allow it to stay for long, gone so fast that if you blinked you would have missed it. You inhaled deeply, head tilting to the side as you nuzzled into his hand. Seeming satisfied with that, Eren proceeded. "That and just how easily you melt under my touch,"

"Eren," You uttered no louder than a whisper, eyes closing tight as you welcomed his touch. You despised how much he was correct, that you became putty without him even needing to try. That was the impact of love, after all, it makes people act in crazy ways and do some incredibly crazy things. But you couldn't ignore the odd funny feeling still pitting your gut, begging you to stop falling to Eren's will before it was too late. You couldn't get carried away, he had committed obscene criminal acts without jurisdiction. That was more than enough to get him locked up for life, regardless of the war you were fighting. You should be disgusted by his actions, his corrupted thinking and the way he went behind the Military's backs to further his own idea of freedom. You were disgusted.

But you also loved him. Way, way more than you were disgusted.

A frown merged onto your face, blending awkwardly with the once peaceful content that Eren noticed as fast as it appeared. He managed to figure out the thoughts running through your mind also, the young adult lamenting a sigh and he opened his mouth to speak. Not before his hand drifted down to your chin, tilting your head up to make you look at him. His thumb planted on your bottom lip as he grazed over it.

"I'm trying to build a future for Eldia, Y/N," Eren spoke firmly, your heart having a brief elation to the way he said your name. It had been far too long since you had heard him say it. "A future for us, where we can be free and live our lives the way we want to,"

"I know," You began, eyes opening to meet Eren's. "But there are other ways, Eren. More humane ways. We don't have to kill anymore if we just-,"

"There isn't another way," Eren interrupted, his ministrations of stroking your chin coming to an abrupt halt. "We've tried other ways and they haven't worked," Eren evaded your disheartened stare. "I'm sick of it not working,"

"We all are, Eren. Stop making out that you're the only victim here," You paid no mind to Eren's reaction. "We're all victims of this shitshow that's our reality, and we're all just as much the culprits of it as well! All w-we do is fight fire with fire and add more ashes to the pile with each person we slaughter," You felt your grip tighten on the bars, gritting your teeth harshly together. "I'm sick of all the violence and suffering! I just want to go back to the days when we could be at peace. Where we could laugh and joke because the main problem - the titans, were dealt with! I became a soldier to fight titans, not to embark on an endless war where both sides are human and neither is willing to cooperate with the other,"

"Those days are gone," Eren spoke sternly, though it softened up when he noticed you look away. "But they can return," He pressed his forehead against the iron bars, staring at you through deadened eyes. "We can live a life of freedom together once I finish what I started, all I need you to do is stay by my side and to have faith,"

Your eyes widened, gawking at Eren with complete and utter disbelief at his words. His persistence came off like the cruellest of sicknesses, corrupting Eren's mind to the point of insanity. His moral compass was in shambles as was his sense of humanity. The way his eyes were numbed right down to their pupils, blinded by his visions of a future for Eldia that came with the cost of the rest of the world's suffering. It pained you to witness such a change, to witness Eren's descent into madness as war took over his every thought and breath. Suddenly that foreign feeling in your stomach became clear as day, and you abhorred it with a deadly passion.

"I don't want to be free in a world built on other people's suffering," Your hands fell down to your sides, heartbeat racing as you avoided Eren's gaze. He quirked a brow, eyes piercing into you once he realised what you meant, and his chosen tone suggested he didn't like that one bit.

"What are you trying to say?"

You faltered, both as a mental brace and a state of refusal to your next actions. A second or so passed before you took a step back, creating a distance that did more damage than healing. With a shaky breath, you answered his question.

"I love you Eren, with everything I am. B-but I can't stand by your side if this is the path you're going to take," The tears were already brewing, doing everything you could to blink them away. "I won't sit by and watch the rest of the world crumble because of your selfish desires,"

You hated the words you were saying, how you said them and who you were saying them to. That it had all come to this, where Eren became the threat to humanity rather than its saviour. He only had so much time left and had you known that his way of spending it was to spiral the world into chaos - perhaps you wouldn't have grown so attached.

"I can't - I...," Since he hadn't said anything, you felt the urgency to speak. "Eren you have no idea how much I want to but this isn't how I saw our future -,"

"What future?" Eren persisted, not giving you a chance to reply. "Eldia has no future within the walls, these cages! It's time we give the world a taste of its own medicine, so what if a couple of lives are taken out on the way? It's not like they give a damn about ours," Eren scoffed when you shook your head, tears pricking at your eyes and the stinging sensation that came with it was painful to deal with.

"Please, Eren. Think about what you're saying," You pleaded and begged. But you knew it was no use, Eren too fixated on his 'destiny' to see logical reason. Merely the look in his eyes was proof enough to tell you that. "What happened to you? When did you become so heartless? Where's the Eren I knew all those years ago gone? Don't you miss it back then? When we weren't cheating death and we could simply be us? Be two dumb teens in love and the only thing that mattered was that love we shared? Do you even think about that anymore? About me? What about -,"

"Stop it," Eren stopped you, voice acting as a silencer to your blubbering drabble. Flinching at the interruption your mouth clamped shut, and your eyes darted for Eren in surprise. Despite locked behind bars, you were still terrified, and it felt more like you were the prisoner of the pair. With a low growl, Eren raised a clenched fist and thrashed it harshly against the bars. It made a low but loud 'thunk!' sound that hit your ears like impending doom, deafening all around you excluding that of Eren and the words he uttered next. "I'm sick of listening to you whine about shit that's not even important,"

"W-what?" You stammered in question, voice unsteady. "What do you mean it's not important?"

"Do you really think that amidst all of this I have time to be playing boyfriend?" Eren half-mocked. "I've got bigger priorities than you right now," He didn't look you in the eye, nostrils flared as his gaze lingered on the floor. Your legs nearly gave way at what you were hearing, each word a fatal stab to the stomach. Each stab even more malicious than the last. So that was it? You didn't matter anymore? Were you just some pawn in Eren's plan until he didn't feel he needed you anymore? Had his love ever been real or was it all a hoax to manipulate your every waking thought?

A minute passed of still silence, one of the many that evening. Your eyes never left Eren, searching for something to indicate he was joking. As well as contemplating pinching yourself in hopes you woke up from this horrible nightmare. Maybe you'd wake up in your Eren's arms, safe and secure as you lay beside him - his gentle breaths from deep sleep tickling the back of your neck and helping you forget the entire reason you woke up. But sadly, no such thing happened. You never woke up from anything but were instead left to face an Eren you barely knew anymore. Endure the pain as he pounded words into your head that gashed crueller than the worst of war wounds.

Realising this, you felt an urge to laugh, unsure what else there was you really could do. Crying was ineffective, and there was no way you could let Eren get the better of you. That's probably what he wanted anyway, for you to turn around and beg on your hands and knees. So as your hand met your face, you released the smallest of chuckles, lacking in humour but overwhelmed with an unforeseen emptiness. It definitely caught Eren by surprise, but he was fast to not hide it as he pressured that vacant stare onto you yet again.

"You insist your plan is the only way to get us our future, but I'm not even sure what future you mean anymore," You hesitated, trying to gain control of your lip which began to quiver erratically. "Clearly it's not the one we imagined together when we were younger,"

"If only you weren't so blinded by your emotions," Eren avoided your words, something you noticed and felt more agonised by than relieved. "Stop thinking with your feelings and see the logic, already. It's so annoying,"

Almost choking on the sob you tried to hold down, you bit down harshly on your lip - any harder and you probably would have drawn blood. You did everything you could to ignore Eren's words, but you were so hurt that you were losing the means to do so.

But you couldn't let his words consume you and manifest them into truth. You had to be strong, use whatever power you had left to regain your composure and come out the bigger person. Eren had always been a stubborn brat, Levi's nickname reigning true now more than ever.

"Use your head and think, Y/N," Eren spoke slowly, leaning his weight back onto one foot. He stretched his arm out towards you, held out for you to take. "Maybe if you stop caring for those that'll just kill you off for sport you'll actually comprehend why you're following the wrong cause,"

His words were suffocating and barbaric, not at all inspiring or persuading in the slightest. It didn't make you feel hopeful, it made you feel trapped. All you wanted was for it to stop. It wasn't love no matter how much you adored him. It wasn't healthy no matter the good memories you had shared. You had to stop the past messing with your head. You had to stop Eren messing with your head. You wanted to get out and escape. You needed to and as soon as possible. So, taking a moment to regain your composure, your hands raised to adjust the collar of your jacket and you looked over at Eren. An apologetic expression on your face for deciding to cut the visit short.

"I think I should... should go check on Armin and the others," You started, not sure what Eren would make of that. He appeared to show confusion, blinking once your words processed and frowning based on how sudden they were.

"Why would you need to do that?"

"They've been busy, and they're probably looking for me," You made up on the spot. "I didn't tell them I was coming to see you," Eren was silent, eyeing you up and down before he scoffed.

"You know I can tell you're lying, right?"

"W-Why would I lie?"

"For the same reason all people lie," Eren said. "To avoid what you're too scared to face," The way Eren spoke made everything feel much, much worse. A heavy amount of disrespect originated from this new flesh of conceit that Eren displayed on full. He had always been one to boast, but never in the form he showed in the present.

Listening to his slander any longer was something you simply couldn't handle. Not today, anyway. Fatigue was starting to claim control over your thought process, emotionally drained from talking to Eren. He had selfishly left you in a constant state of confusion and agony, making you ask yourself more questions than answering them. It utterly and totally sucked, being honest, and you had no clue where your relationship stood. Was it over? Were you still even together? Had he even seen you both as a couple this entire time or was it all just a big lie?

"So what were you trying to avoid when you spent all those months lying to us?" You were tempted to leave without another word said, but you knew you'd regret not asking your question. Which had popped into your head at the last moment as you pondered on Eren's words. Using them against you seemed to strike a nerve, as when you expected Eren to talk he did no such thing. Instead, he glared at you for being caught out, prompting your next words to follow. "I'll... I'll see you later, Eren,"

And with that, you started walking away.

You did everything in your power to not look back, focusing your gaze on the exit that was a little way ahead. Eren's stare etched itself into your back on the way out, leaving an even deeper wound than before which would probably scar for sure. Your footsteps dragged across the floor like you hauled twice your body weight behind you. Walking upstairs had never been such a demanding challenge before in your life. To think that you possessed the energy to traverse the walls but absolutely none to conquer thirteen mediocre steps.

You made it around ten steps up, just about to reach out for the door handle - when Eren's voice finally filled the room again. It brought your rushed exit to a halt with ease, much to your dismay, and what he had to say did nothing to help your situation.

"Who's to say I ever lied?"

Your heart both soared and sank at the same time, the conflict in your head skyrocketing as your thoughts drove you mad. What did Eren mean by that? Lie about what exactly? It was the way his words were always so devoid of clarity that hurt the most. The brunette was exceedingly blunt yet always left you inquiring more, prying further until it was too late. A mind game that pulled you in and kept you playing. You admittedly almost swayed.

But so close to the door, your hand wavering in the air just begging to open it - it was enough to prevent such a thing a happening. You knew if you headed back it would be the end, you would somehow get more hurt than you already had. It was a risky move you didn't want to place your bets on, you had come too far to be foolish.

So taking a deep breath you reached out for the handle and gripped it tight. You turned the knob and braced yourself to leave, blocking Eren from your mind as you lifted your foot to the eleventh step. Then the twelfth. Then the thirteenth, and finally onto the floor above the jail cells.

Closing that door behind you felt like the freshest of cleanses, your body sighing out in relief when it clicked shut.

Sadly though, you didn't have time to celebrate. The whole encounter surely caught up with you, as did the tears you had been saving for when you were finally alone. Just like they guaranteed, the hot, salty liquid singed the corners of your eyes and the tears returned. Before you could do anything, a cry broke out and you staggered until your back hit the door. The hinges jolted loudly, most likely attracting the attention of someone nearby. Whether it be a guard around the corner or one of your friends in search of your location. Maybe even Hange or Levi coming to check up on you. Whichever it was, they were in for a shock.

Your heart raced with anxiety, mind and body overwhelmed by inner turmoil that made you sick to your gut. The nausea was so bad you had to hold your stomach with your spare arm, fighting the urge to violently vomit all whilst controlling your reckless sobs that didn't cease their slander. Your vision went blurry from how much you broke down, unable to blink the tears away no matter your efforts.

Fearing the unknown had always been a part of who you were. But had somewhat simmered down as you grew older and developed mentally through being a soldier. However, all that progress reversed in an instant as your mind flashed back to the thought of Eren. How someone who used to possess so much passion now resorted to an empty vessel. The way he admitted to your insignificance with such little struggle, only to proceed to confuse you even more by implying he had never told a single lie. Was he even talking about you when he said that? Or something else completely unrelated?

A little bit of confirmation wouldn't hurt anybody.

It was odd to have Eren be the reason for your tears after so many years of him typically being the one to dry them off your face. Though thinking about it, he had been the leading cause for a lot of things as of late. The number a very concerning amount indeed. You barely even recognised him anymore. The once caring soul you fell in love with was no longer there, replaced with a man who had discovered the bittersweet lust for power based on a corrupted idealogy. Such a ruthless lust that it no longer mattered how that idealogy came to be, just as long as he managed to taste an essence of it.

You hated it. You hated that of all people it was Eren who tumbled down that drain. How did you allow yourself to fall in love with someone so possible of committing such atrocities? To worship him and give him everything you had, only to be told it was all for nothing and you were fighting a losing battle. You knew it was hopeless to hold on and believe that your Eren might return but at this rate that seemed unattainable. Not after witnessing him firsthand. The only thing left now was to move on and pray the world was on your side.

Part of you didn't want to move on though, so familiar with Eren as your crutch that a world without him sounded terrifying. You had grown so used to his presence in your life that all of this still felt so surreal no matter the fact you were very much living in it. Living in an endless hell that never allowed anyone a moment's peace. Not you. Not even Eren. Not a single human being on the planet. Nobody.

Just... where along the line had it all gone so painfully wrong?

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x reader #eren jeager #eren jeager x reader #x reader #angst #eren yeager angst #eren yaegar #eren aot #eren fic #eren yeager fic

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