#i don't want to hurt anymore

[angeltism]

._.

#➳ valentin vents #i feel so bad i keep complaining on here #i just feel like im in so much pain #physically and emotionally #i don't even know what to say it just hurts so bad everything hurts #i don't want to hurt anymore

[haikuku]

Daily Haikuku, no. 192

Can I even be fixed, or am I hopelessly irredeemable?

--haikuku

#haiku #haikuku #daily haikuku #daily haiku #haiku on tumblr #feelings #emotions #emotional health #depression #wtf is wrong with me #no hope #change is hard #childhood emotional neglect #core beliefs #emotional damage #falling apart #feeling lost #i don't want to hurt anymore #i feel powerless #i want to feel loved #it's all too much #my life is a mess #negative mindset #not coping well #old wounds #overwhelmed #personal growth #self concept #self worth #trauma

[musicaddictt]

If I could stop crying so I could actually work. I'll be okay eventually, maybe not today but eventually.

#me #personal #i don't want to hurt anymore #emotional

[munchbunch97]

.

#i don't want to hurt anymore #em talks

[maudiemoods]

They deserve a little treat!! Maybe they aren't so evil

Thinking they've just been misled and mistreated! They're not evil, but they're also not good. They just need someone to show them there's more in life and that's where y/n comes in!

#idk its hard to think of how they all meet? #bc they aren't partners just yet #maybe thinking their mother throws them to the curb after feeling like she doesn't want them anymore #or maybe they get hurt and their mother doesn't want to risk getting them so she leaves them #and y/n finds them and takes care of them #aurggrug #idk #i also don't know how their weapon forms tie into all this? they probably just fight and switch whos fighting and whos the weapon #maudiemoods art tag #moondrop #sundrop #soul eater #soul eater au

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #kirby makes stuff #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #I knitted for many years before I learned to crochet #but I personally think crochet is waaaay better #unless I very specifically want a knitted look for something or I'm using the hand crank machine to make socks #I just don't knit anymore #cuz it hurts my hands and keeping the stitches on the needles is difficult for me #crochet only has one loop to lose at any given time and is much easier on my hands #(though still taxing) #(I finished knitting a sweater today and I'm not actually happy with it which is rare for me) #(but I don't want to bother to fix it right now cuz I'm so tired of knitting and I would need an entire extra month-of-work panel) #(but it's. wearable. so we're calling it done for now.) #(so that I can work on something else. crocheted.) #favorites

[satans-knitwear]

It's the most wonderful time of the year..... To unsubscribe from so many email lists.

#Do it. It will fix you. #You recieve an email from a company who want you to purchase something??? Unsubscribe!!! They can't hurt you anymore. #Christmas and boxing day and new year sales??? I don't want to hear about it!!! Goodbye!!! Unsubscribed!! #If i really need an item or service... It will come to me in my dreams. #Emails are the work of something more cruel than the devil

[fishareglorious]

77! she's quite the splitting image of her daughter.

#1.9 spoilers #<- block this tag if you don't want to come across any spoilers concerning chapter 7 #also. when you think of it she's a canon milf. am i wrong. #reverse 1999 #i don't think i'll really watch the livestream i'll just randomly look through some sections #can't bring myself to do anything anymore if im being hoenst #also do bras not exist in apreion. someone please invent those things looking at that strap between her breasts makes mine hurt

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[originalartblog]

I want drama!!! give me DRAMA!!

#also i'm. not satisfied at all with this but i don't want to look at it anymore take it out of my sight #you should be able to get my vision anyway #give me struggle give me nostalgic yearning and i'm sorry's don't just give me a suddenly unbrainwashed chuuya without buildup PLEASE #make it hurt before making it better i want HURT with my comfort #in the meantime let me live in fanfic world. not that asagiri is above giving us something similar to this (probably less tender though) #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd 107 #bsd manga spoilers #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #bsd nakahara chuuya #skk #soukoku #nawy's art #also hehe yea i made it to match my corruption arc chuuya art for funsies

[littlelightfish]

The hearts don't mean he is in love with no one. The problem with English is how vague of the word love is in his meaning. It envolves different kinds of caring in one single word. But I'll try to express here what I mean.

He cares, as a person, about everyone. This is a basic level of love that he haves towards everybody. He doesn't want anyone to actually die, that's what I mean. He doesn't necesarily cares about someone, but he loves them enough to not want them to die.

He starts befriending someone and gets to know it. He starts liking things about them and disliking others. He starts loving this people in another way, we'll call it liking. This is more a get-to-know phase he doesn't always like. The less he knows, the less reasons to get attached get attached he has. I think this are the kind of love the hearts show in the image. He has to make sure to keep a balance between how much he loves and how much he let's himself be loved. He doesn't want to have misunderstandings. He is in constant fear of "what if I made them love me more and they care more?"

And then it comes the deeply care that love is in the non-romantic way. This care a (good) parent has for his babies. The love that makes people suffer emotionally in an absolute different way from what it could be a heartbreak or a misunderstanding between friends. If something happens to the loved one, the pain is unbearable. It's one of the worst things rhat can happen. And Chilchuck knows this, he is father of three daughters, and his wife left him. She left, he knows the pain it is to come home and find it empty when there should be someone. He knows the guilt it comes with failing those loved ones. The shame. He doesn't like being this vulnerable. This love makes him suffer like no other does. So he is very very carefull of how much he allows himself to care about someone so he won't get to love like this.

He draws a line between work and private life because his private life envolves love and deep care, and he doesn't want to love nor care like this for people who's job is to constantly risk their lifes. He doesn't want to feel the anguish, he doesn't want to feel the loneliness it will come after the unenviable separation of the party.

He tries his best to not get attached to people. To not let people get attached to him. But he fails. He fails and falls downstairs with a whole drum set.

He can't help but to care about this people. He can't help but to love this people he's been living with the past few weeks in the risking of their lifes. He tells himself he's doing this for money and that he doesn't care, but he does.

Those hearts don't mean anything other than him caring about them. He cares about Senshi. He cares about Marcille. He cares about Laios. About Itsuzumi. About Namari. He cares in a way that hurts. He loves this people. He doesn't want to even imagine a world in where they are gone, or suffering, or in problems. They're his friends, they're something he, unwillingly, accepts as family.

He cares about Falin and Mickbell because he doesn't want them dead. He doesn't feel any anguish toward if they do or not get hurt after they're out of his sight. Sure, he cares, but he can live without thinking about them the rest of his days. It doesn't happen like that with Laios. He can't just simply let Laios go and follow Fallin just after he recover consciousness from a punch in the gut. Was it Mickbell, he would let him if he really didn't wanted. But Laios didn't wanted to sit and wait, and he had to care. He had to verbalize to himself that he cared. He had to let them know, so they would act accordingly. So they won't get themselves killed like idiots.

He doesn't want others to fall in romantic love with him. He doesn't feel romantic love towards anyone either. He isn't the man for this kind of love. He is, in fact, afraid of it. He doesn't want to fall in love, because he's still in love with his wife. She left him because he was negligent. But since when has this become the definitive stop for love? Chilchuck knows his wife is angry at him, and she has all the reason to be so! His husband, the one she loved and cared for, gets himself in dangerous situations, treats his body poorly and almost never is home. She loves him, and it hurts her to love like this, so she leaves. Like this she won't have to look at him get himself mistreated like he does. She would have the pull in her's stomach that tells her that he could be in great danger, that she could become a widow, but she tries to calm it with his daughter's mail to him. He could never. He can't imagine a world in wich they cease to exist. A world without his wife, even if she distanced herself, without his daughters, would be a world worthless of living. He knows this. Because he cares and he loves in such a deep level that he is scared of loving anyone else like this. To become so vulnerable to emotion. This vulnerable to something bad happening.

The fact that he is so afraid of loosing his wife, even after she left him, says a lot. He still cares about her. He is still in love with her. He wants to go back to what it was before, but he can't and he know its his fault. And he respects his wife's distance because he loves her. Now, he doesn't love her in the movie way, he isnt in love like a teenager would to his first girlfriend, he doesn't want to kiss her, or hug her, or be by her side at all moments of the day. He loves her. He cares about her deeply, deeply enough that he doesn't need to be by her side to care, to love. He also respects her. He can survive without her because he knows she's better with his daughter. For sure he wants to hug, kiss and be by the side of this person he loves, it would be ideal, but he can survive without thinking about it too much. It's just like with his daughters. They're all adults that now live far from him. And he is ok with it now. He sends mail and recieves mail, and even if he misses greatly, he can manage not to think about it. Because he knows she is allright. Because he knows he fucked up. He doesn't know where he fuked up, but for his wife to leave him, at least he knows he did. They never talked about it, because they both seem to have a problem in expressing themselves. She fell into a bad mood and then she disappeared. The amount of pain he must have felt it's... let's say it's quite big.

He keeps his guard up. He doesn't want to love deeply anyone. He doesn't want to feel the emptiness, the hurt, that comes after someone so dear leaves. He knows for a fact he'll be leaving this people. He knows that they could die. If he loves, it will hurt in a way nothing else hurts. He will miss. He doesn't like missing people he cares like this. This is why he doesn't want to love. This is why he doesn't want to be loved. This is why those hearts that are almost full are his main source of concern. This is why he makes the effort to keep this feelings at bay, to love only in the friendly way and with extreme caution.

But he can't controll his own love. And he ends up caring more and more about these people. He slowly makes him a part of the dangerous love zone that family means. He is afraid to confuse someone about his feelings towards them, so he still tries to maintain distance with his abusive remarks, but this only works so far. He loves and is loved. And because of this he will suffer.

I... I extended myself a bit I see...

#i dont even know what im talking about anymore #but i hope i made sense #as an aroace i feel the need of being extra cautious about how people think of my relationship with them #because I dont want them to like me romantically #i want friendship #because its so uncomfortablr #not #love #so this Chil here is basically me trying to figure out if saying certain things could be considered flirting or not by the other #i shouldnt care #it isnt my fault if they do fall in love with me #but i would be happier if they didnt #to know someone is in love wirh you #and that you dont love him back #but youre still friends #so youre friends but the other wants to be more than that #and to avoid that i gotta measure every interaction #maybe im a bit paranoid #but it has happened to me to have friends fall in love with me #and i dont want to hurt their feelongs but i definitely dont lovs rhem bacj #because i care abkut them in a friendly way #and i don't want them to suffer because of me. but I dont want to suffer because of them either #its all way to complicated? yes bit thing is that chil here represents me interacting with my friends #but in my case the hearts would be romantic #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #my shit

[haikuku]

Daily Haikuku, no. 215

Hostage to my past and mom's present. When do I get to live my life?

--haikuku

#haiku #haikuku #daily haikuku #daily haiku #haiku on tumblr #mom problems #existing #all i want #frustrated #anxiety #depression #childhood emotional neglect #emotional damage #enough already #family ties #feel so alone #i can't function #i don't want to hurt anymore #i feel powerless #i love them but #i want more #it's all too much #my life is a mess #fuck my life #no answers #no escape #trapped #not coping well #trauma #what do i do

[theartthatleavesthemark]

i realize this is something of an obvious sentiment to express in a certain light but the more times one rewatches the show the more it becomes glaringly clear that there are very few individuals who actually ever express a philosophical commitment to flint's war to overthrow england. charles does. billy does, although he has his own motivations as well. madi does. jack and anne don't though! not ever! blackbeard doesn't! max, certainly not. and silver? even before he decides to betray flint he never ever says anything even a little bit committed to any sort of animosity towards england. you hit that 3x10 battle and you realize just how few people are actually in it for the same reasons as flint. and you realize that just like flint, just like the crew, just like madi, john silver has also fooled YOU into believing that everyone is on the same page.

#black sails #you just sort of assume! you just sort of go along because everything seems to finally be going the way you want it to #3x10 in a certain light is the narrative high point of the show! but only if you ignore the numerous enormous cracks in unity #john silver stands with flint. john silver is worried! he doesn't want to hurt his partner! john silver wouldn't betray for money anymore! #and yet we still don't know what john silver really feels about any of this. in fact #even at the end #we NEVER know. #i think its also quite powerful that JACK does not actually care about overthrowing england in the same way as flint either #jack tells flint at the beginning that he plans to leave with his treasure at the end #it makes his actions in s4 that much more delicious #and as max says at the very beginning: you realize that the foundations of this revolution are built on sand

[sysig]

He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #This isn't even a sci-fi pirate adventure anymore this is just straight up human pirates lol #How many layers deep can we go until it's unrecognizable! Next up is Pirate AU!Helix! (Kidding. For now) Lol #There is something funny about it all to me as well considering how in-line it fits with the research I was doing for a Vargas fic concept #All these bodice-rippers coming home to roost lol ♪ #Which is also interesting 'cause I hadn't thought about this particular fic from that perspective before but it also fits! It works well! #Yet another angle to approach it from on a reread haha ♫ #ANYway lol - human!Pirate!SCII specifically finally lol #I do love just how openly attracted the Captain is to ZEX as a human haha - his attraction/disgust to VUX-ZEX is wonderful of course #It's just so silly and cute how honest he is when ZEX is in a body that he's aesthetically attracted to haha #And ZEX recognizing and utilizing that! But it still not quite tipping him over to being completely sold on the whole kidnapping thing lol #''I don't understand it! I look beautiful and I /know/ he's attracted to me! What could be stopping him from sleeping with me???" lol #Keep trying ZEX I'm sure you'll get it at some point haha #Finishing off with an idea of ZEX having to deal with a hostile and still not quite trusting the Captain not to run away #Or risk him getting hurt! ZEX can handle this! Let him protect you! #But the Captain also wants to help! And/or escape y'know whatever's most convenient haha #He's proud <3 And he does have an affinity with ZEX at this point - he knows he can be useful! But that's not what's most important to ZEX #Also being scolded and blushing a bit hehe ♪ Given just a bit of pause to be told by such a pretty face to ''Behave'' ♫ #I do really like ZEX with the coat and braids hehe <3 Handsome

[nymphaforesta]

my "closest friend" sent me this message back and i have spent the entire night crying. it's so fucking mean and 100% not who i am or do which hurts even more. how can someone twist your words and attack you so ruthlessly on purpose just to hurt you. why do people feel like they have the power to do that with me constantly i am so tired

#my eyes hurt so much #i miss my mum #i don't want to see anyone anymore what is the fucking point

[runby2]

thank you guys for all the asks i love u!!! i'm sorry i haven't been able to get to them all. something really really bad happened in terms of my real life issues and i may make some more heavy ace attorney art to help myself cope. <3 but u all love that stuff a lot anyway so i guess im back to feeding you guys with a little baby birdie syringe. 🐈

#me when i don't have an adoptive family anymore #🐈 #i'm ok #it's probably for the best #i just really wanted to fix things with them but they seem set on hurting me forever #i have my polycule though and they're all i need. 🤍