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nehswritesstuffs · 1 month

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It is time for me to inflict my depressing fanon on everyone yet again!

2646 words; hats off to everyone who projects with celiac!Law but this is my take; fairly gen but also has slight LawSan and/or LawBin if you put the shipping goggles on; mostly wrote this surrounded by wee weebs so shout out to my fiancé’s students (especially the young lady who convinced me to put in Robin (it was not a difficult sell lol); blanket warning for Law’s backstory I guess

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Cold. It was cold.

Part of him wanted to say of course it was cold, it is the North, but it still seemed a bit much. It was so cold that the slightest breeze cut through him, through his cloak and to the school uniform that was now filthy and ratted and way, way too thin. Another small burst of wind and he remembered that his cloak wasn’t even a cloak, but an old, thin bedsheet he had found covering a corpse in the woods.

He wasn’t in the woods anymore. It was a different country, so very apparent thanks to how colorful everything was around him. Even the bricks and stones that made the buildings didn’t have the pastel sheen he was accustomed to, that he expected. Hiding in an alley, he stayed crouched until the nearby street grew quiet before making a move. Restaurants were always sure to have scraps, and he found what looked like a halfway decent one. He put his hand in the wastebin and found that there was nothing he could grab and run with…

…nothing except some moldy, soggy white bread. Again. How many times was it now…?

Stomach churning, he knew he had no choice and shoved the slices—now more mold and mush than anything—into his mouth. His gag reflex caught and he tasted bile on top of everything else. He still swallowed everything down, knowing that he did not have the luxury of choosing where he got his sustenance. Law kept rooting around in the garbage, eager for something else to eat.

He gagged again, the bread and bile falling to the pavement this time.

Fuck.

It was still cold.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Law, come here.”

Doflamingo curled his finger, beckoning the child to his side. Law put down his book and walked past Baby 5 and Dellinger—both of whom stopped playing—to stand in front of their boss. The only other adult in the room was the Corazón as he sat next to his brother, a pad of paper torn by scribbles.

“Giolla tells me you refused to eat the lunch she made you earlier,” Doflamingo said, voice calm and even. “Is this true?”

“What of it?” Law scoffed. Doflamingo’s face didn’t even twitch.

“Now that you’re officially one of us, you need to eat to gather your strength and become the high-level member of the team that I can see in your potential.”

“I can do that without bread,” Law stated. “As long as I get the nutrients from elsewhere, I’m good.”

“No, that’s not good at all.”

“Cora-san doesn’t eat bread,” Baby 5 piped up. Law bristled—he didn’t need her assistance to make a point. They watched Doflamingo consider this.

“Cora-san is an adult,” he said eventually. “Law needs to eat properly.”

“I don’t want any.” The boy was getting adamant now, nearing on a tantrum. Doflamingo was about to snap at him when he felt the end of his brother’s pencil poke him in the arm. He turned and saw the pad of paper getting pushed towards him.

If the taste came back for you, it might for him.

“Hmm… you’re right…” Doflamingo scowled before he stood, towering over Law. “Don’t think this is over. You’re going to grow up about this eventually.” He then left the sitting room, the children all staring at Corazón, who in returned flipped them off and flashed the paper.

Brat

“No more than you are,” Law fired back. “Fuck off.”

Law stormed from the sitting room, knowing that he didn’t have to be there. He stomped all the way back to the room he shared with the other kids, flopping face-down on his bed.

He didn’t want bread. He didn’t need bread. He didn’t plan on even touching bread again for as long as he lived.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It wasn’t long before their food supply began to run out, Cora realized. He looked inside the bag with their meager belongings and frowned.

“I have to go into town,” he decided aloud. Law coughed in pain on the other side of the cave, curled around himself and blankets.

“Just you this time?” he asked.

“Yeah—I need to get us some food. Do you want me to look for anything specific?” Law whimpered something and Cora crouched down low. “What was that?”

“Good bread.”

Oh. Cora frowned and brushed the brittle, sweat-soaked hair from the boy’s brow. Who was he to deny a dying child? “I’ll see what I can do.”

Cora carefully went into town and began to look around for some groceries while trying to not cause more attention than necessary They needed things that were easy to carry and did not take much effort to prepare, if at all. Nothing that spoiled quick and nothing that was too tough on Law. He got some smoked meat and cheese, fruit, a bit of rice that just needed to be heated over the fire…

Stopping in front of the bakery, Cora stared at the wares on display in the window. It was so odd for Law to request bread, and so timidly at that. The kid’s aversion towards bread was one of the things that he could clock from a mile off—it was the same reason as him, he knew it. He often caught the look in the kid’s eyes when he stared down a sandwich or Dellinger chased him around the compound with a dinner roll; it wasn’t an allergy, nor was it a texture thing, but something much more insidious than that.

Before he realized it, Cora was standing inside the bakery, not quite fitting under the still-higher-than-normal ceiling and awkwardly staring at the breads. There were all sorts of things, such as pastries and full loaves and bagels and… ah, there were some smaller miniature loaves and rolls. At least if Law didn’t finish what he bought it wouldn’t be such a waste…

“Can I help you, sir?” He glanced up and saw the clerk standing there on the other side of the display case.

“Just looking.” Something then caught his eye: a double-roll that was baked together. The bread looked so dark it was almost black, and it made him think back to his own childhood. One of his uncle’s slaves baked rolls like that, and it was honestly some of the best he’d ever had. “Actually, what’s that?”

“Some Flevance-style rolls,” the clerk replied. “They’re not a good seller, but the owner spent summers there as a kid—it’s a pet project of his.”

“Thought they looked familiar; went on vacation there a couple times. Shame, really. Can I have a pair?”

After paying for a double-roll (and getting four, as the clerk insisted no one else was going to buy them), Cora went back to his shopping. He then made sure no one was following him and returned to the cave. Law was sitting up, having scooted himself closer to the fire he was poking with a stick to keep alive. Cora didn’t even need to ask and he threw a couple more bigger bits of firewood on the pile.

“How’re ya feeling, kiddo?”

“Fuck off.”

“That good, huh?” Law grunted, causing Cora to roll his eyes. “I got some bread like you asked for—the clerk gave me a bit extra.”

“Flirt.”

“I did not!” he gasped, almost insulted. “They just don’t sell many of them, is all.”

Law looked away and pouted as he hugged his knees. There was nothing he he really could say, was there?

“Well, if you don’t like it, we’ll figure out something.” Cora put down the rest of the shopping and sat next to Law with the bag from the bakery. He took a double-roll out and held it towards the teen in offering. “Let’s try it together.”

Slowly, Law turned back towards Cora, only for his eyes to go wide at the sight of the roll. He reached out and touched it gingerly, almost unsure it was even real. Both of them pulled on their respective part of the double-roll and it broke apart with ease.

“Where did you get this…?”

“A nostalgic baker.” Cora shrugged and watched Law as he cradled the bun in his hands like a precious gem. “I saw it in the window; the clerk confirmed it was a Flevench recipe.”

“How… how did you know…?”

“My cousin’s house had these a lot; some of the kitchen staff were from the North, and I remember there was at least one person from Flevance. Go on. Eat.”

Law nodded and took a small bite. He chewed slowly before swallowing, a hiccup wracking his body. Tears formed in his eyes as it turned into a cough, shivering as Cora placed a large hand on his back to steady him. The teen continued to let tears fall from his eyes as he ate, not stopping until the entire roll was gone.

“Th-thanks,” he squeaked. “That… that was good.”

“I’m glad,” Cora replied. He silently offered the second roll, but Law shook his head in refusal. The boy hugged his knees again and hid his face as he sobbed uncontrollably. Cora tried to place his hand on his back again, but drew it back quickly when Law flinched.

The kid was going to have to get through this on his own, he figured, and turned his attention back to the bun still in his hand. It was so small compared to when he was a child—younger than Law’s sister had been, if he heard the story correctly—despite the fact everything else was the same. The feel, the smell… Cora popped the entire roll into his mouth with ease, hoping it was as good as he remembered.

Soon as the soft, chewy texture hit him, Rosinante was back in Mary Geoise, sitting with Doffy and Josy at the table in the kitchen where they had their secret snacks. They would kick their feet in their chairs as Uncle’s kitchen staff fed them whatever they wanted; Doffy and Josy always ate the bread hot out of the oven, yet Rosi often let it cool…

Fuck. Cora swallowed the bread and wrenched his eyes shut as he tried to not break into his own tears. It wasn’t as good as the ones in his memories, but better. Thoughts of his childhood weighed heavily against his heart; what he wouldn’t give to have his parents back, to have his brother back…

…but they weren’t coming back. Just like Law’s parents. Just like Law’s sister. Just like everyone the kid had ever known, and all that was left might have looked a lot like Doffy, but nothing in the past four years was recognizable as the brother he used to sit at the table with, plotting with their cousin about all the fun adventures they would have wandering the halls of their homes.

Neither of them ate more bread in the prior two years than they did that night, finishing off the entire bag before falling asleep by the dying fire.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I don’t like bread,” Law reiterated. He glared at the Straw Hat cook as he kneaded some dough in preparation for baking. The younger man was far-less pristine than his usual self, with his sleeves rolled up past his elbows and covered in smudges of flour. It was a struggle to not gag from the sight and smell of the dough alone, and it was all he could do to not let it show on his face.

“I didn’t mean this bread, you moron,” Sanji scoffed. “This is white for the losers, and Nami-swan and Robin-chwan get a more delicate and nutritious wheat—and I guess Momo too since the little shit’s growing—but I think I’ve got something you might like.” Law stared sourly as Sanji plopped the dough back in its bowl to rise and wiped his hands on his apron. “You’re from the North Blue, right?”

“…as is well established. So are you. Your point?”

“I knew some excellent cooks and bakers as a kid, so maybe this might help.” Law raised an eyebrow and watched Sanji pull a breadbasket out of the cupboard and placed it on the counter. A cloth covered the contents, keeping them protected from the air and out of sight. “Well, more like I grew up in kitchens in both the East and the North, and know that people from the latter can get… picky when it comes to this shit. Go on. Open it.”

Once the cook motioned towards the basket for emphasis, Law lifted the cloth and took a look at the bread. There, sitting plain to see, was a pile of Flevench-style double-rolls, so dark they were nearly black. He picked up a pair and stared at it, the only reason his mouth did not drop in awe was thanks to years upon years of practice.

“You… you made rye buns…”

“Yeah. I remembered one of the bakers in the North making these a lot, so I’d help her when I could,” Sanji beamed. “Nothing beats a taste from home, does it?”

“What makes you think this is home?”

“You picked it up and haven’t put it back down.”

Law’s face felt hot with blush as he Shambled away in a panic. Fuck, Blackleg-ya was a bit too perceptive for comfort. The other man must not have said anything to the others, he figured, since no one seemed to be treating him differently. Was it the accent? Did he resemble a Flevench migrant from the blond’s childhood? Whatever it was, he wasn’t entirely sure he liked it.

Oh. Wait. That was right; the double-roll was still in his hand. He felt around with Haki and figured that no one was watching, allowing him to slip into the mikan grove undetected. Carefully, he took the double-roll in both hands and pulled them apart, the smell hitting him just as it did all those years ago when he’d share one with Lami at the dinner table… when he shared them with Cora-san in the cave…

Taking a bite, Law sighed as he realized this was no joke. Blackleg-ya had truly been able to do something he’d never been able to do over the years, something that his crew had never been able to replicate. For the first time since he was thirteen and dying, he was eating a roll of bread—Flevench-style bread—and silently crying. It was more than he could have ever asked for and yet there it was, just as good as it had ever been, the right color and texture and as though nothing had ever changed. He trembled as he finished the first roll; it was as though he had taken it straight from the bakery on High Street…

Just then, movement caught the corner of his eye, causing him to flinch. There, sprouted on a branch, was an arm holding a handkerchief and a handwritten note towards him. Law used his Observation Haki to locate Nico-ya, finding that she was on a lower deck with the rest of the ship’s inhabitants. He took both items and watched as the arm stayed. Opening the note, he read:

I’ll keep them down here. Don’t worry, Torao-kun. Take your time.

He touched the arm and it dissolved into petals. Of course Strawhat-ya’s crew would have someone who knew how to make him cry with bread, as well as the only one who possibly understood how frail his connection to his past truly was. He sank down to the floor and leaned against a tree trunk, letting the tears flow as he savored the second roll like a man being allowed his last meal.

That night at dinner, he got onigiri just like always, as though nothing had ever happened. At least he kept his dignity through it all, he supposed.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A/N: The bread I based this on is called röggelchen, which is most often found in Western Germany/eastern Belgium.

#One Piece #One Piece fan fiction #fan fiction #Trafalgar Law #Donquixote Rosinante #Donquixote Rocinante #Straw Hat Pirates #my birthday present to you dear reader #pls let me have this all I want is for these two to bond over how bread was ruined for them via trauma #Trafalgar D. Water Law

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formulapop-cb · 2 months

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Christopher: Had a fun shooting with Handong today, the video will be uploaded soon to the official channels, hopefully our fans will like it.

Hyunjin: Went for a quick go-kart race with my friends, i guess it's nedless to say who won~

Mingi: Done for training today, time to rest and do nothing.

Yoohyeon: Met with some sweet fans today and they gave me this nice treat, it tasted so nice! But now i do wish i'd have more of it

Minho: A quick picture before leaving to Australia, i'll miss my babies so much

Yubin: Went for a run with my trainer today. I'd say it was successful with tiring me for the rest of my day

New fans? @fallenangels-cb @secretscb @mxthxbot @welcometosector1 @mirage-ocs @redlight-cb @model-boyscb @teyvatcb @screamcb @livealittleoc-cb @kardpackcb @mutant-academy @clubwnderland @silcntxnight @domrachaa @k-half-blood @oppositesattraxt @coffeexdreamcb @folklore-cb @johnnys-toes-cb @lucky-charmsanhwa @onlyomega-cb @welcome-to-maniac @neverland-fairies @yxjmn @weeb-wonwoo @thegoodplace-oc @purgatoryxbot @project-takeover @kq-rescuecenter @godscb @multi-joong @mvyun (an ask to +/-)

#🏎.christopher #🏎.hyunjin #🏎.mingi #🏎.yoohyeon #🏎.minho #🏎.yubin

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bobbys-naughty-corner · 3 years

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Bokuto x reader (I heard it was HOEVEMBER. y’all not ready for this.)

Warning: NSFW 18+

After school tutor

“YN please! I really need you to tutor me you’re the smartest in our grade!” Bokuto pleaded to you. You sat in your seat with your head down. It was currently lunch time but for you, nap time. Bokuto had came over with his lunch as an offering. “I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” You declined him. It honestly wasn’t. He was your very first crush, still is actually. You may be a smart, beautiful woman but you geek out over him like a weeb attracted to Miku. “Please please please YN. Akaashi already declined me and I wouldn’t not can’t ask anyone else. You’ve always been there for me. I just need a month. I’ll come to you to make it more convenient.” He grabbed your hand which in turn made you blush. “I-I have to ask my mom.” You lied to him. “So that means yes?” He knew it was a yes. His mother was friends with your mother and you usually spent vacations with each other. “If she says yes.” You told him pulling your hand away. It hurt to do but you couldn’t hold his hand forever. He hugged you over the desk making it scoot back some nearly crushing you. “Thank you! I’ll come by later. Don’t fall asleep in me!” He grabbed his lunch and left your classroom. Bastard. All your classmates stared at you. One of your mutual friends came up to you. “Did he just ask you out?” She asked trying to start a rumor or little gossip. “Um, no.” You averted your eyes and tried to pretend you were fixing your skirt. “Aww look at that little blush. You like him don’t cha? Don’t worry your secret is safe with me.” She leaned in close. “No no that’s not it. He asked if I can tutor him. Our parents are friends so he’s known me for a long time so I guess he felt I was the next best choice in order to pick his grades up.” She leaned back, bummed out that you didn’t answer her last question. “Who did he ask first?” She asked you. “Akaashi.” She bursted out laughing. “That’s so rude of him. To ask you right after asking someone already. You should’ve been the first person he came to. Akaashi is smart and all but you’re way smarter. What a jerk, doesn’t he know a thing about ‘Lady’s first’?” She folded her arms. “I don’t think that’s ho it works.” You said softly. She didn’t hear you of course. “You should’ve said no. Let him learn his lesson that way. You’re too nice YN. You don’t know how to say ‘no’. One of these days you’re going to agree to the wrong thing and I wish you luck. Here you can have one of my rice balls. Does your mother not make you lunch?” She asked putting the little ball on a napkin and handing it to me. “No. I usually make my own lunch but I seem to always forget it at home.” You took a bite of the rice and nearly wanted to throw up. “Well I make my own food too. It taste great. I watch cooking shows with my dad. He’s a chef.” You slowly spit the food back into the napkin as she continued to talk. You looked around for somewhere to throw it out. “I saw this recipe and I had to try it. Everyone on the television loved it so why wouldn’t I?” She looked up and you put it in your lap and pretended to be on your last bite. “It was really delicious, I devoured it.” You wiped your mouth and she was about to offer you another one but someone came through the doors being loud. It was Bokuto, he was back with a plate of food. Your mouth nearly watered at it. His mother’s cooking was so good but he didn’t always bring food from him so this was really special. You could smell it. “Here, I promised you food.” He took the napkin out of your hand and set the food in front of you. He pulled up a chair beside you and watched you actually devour the meal. “So YN says you asked her to tutor you? But she also said she was your second choice. Now to me that doesn’t sound right. She’s the smartest in our grade but you ask your friend first.” She said taking a bite of her food and tried to hold back a gag. “Well I know how busy she is. So I didn’t bother asking her at first. But that doesn’t seem like it’s any of your business.” Bokuto was a secret smart mouth. He could hoesntly roast someone and not even know he was doing it.

He leaned in your ear and whispered to you. “Don’t go around telling everyone your business.” He said. Your friend didn’t notice as she was trying to spit her food out without looking gross. You nodded your head at him with a mouth full of food. He licked his thumb and swiped off whatever it was on your face. Oh dear God, you cried in your head. He leaned back to your ear and whispered: “I’ll see you tonight.” He left with a wink and continued being his loud self. When your friend finally looked up she saw the embarrassment in your face.

After school

It was nearly 9 pm and Bokuto has yet to show. Suddenly your door bell rings. You jump up and close your journal stuffing it under your bed. You headed to the door and cooled yourself down before opening the door. “Hi Bokuto. I was just thinking that you was gonna skip your first study night.” You joked. He walked in and took his shoes off putting on his house shoes that you brought for him. “Miss a night with you? I wouldn’t ditch an opportunity like that.” Opportunity? He walked into your room with his book bag and you trailed behind him. He tossed his bag on he floor and plopped on your bed. “You’re going to take a nap? Was it a long practice?” You asked him. You stood next to his legs watching him as he laid back on your bed. Suddenly he pulled you towards him and flipped you over. You stared at him, taken back by his actions. “Would you be mad if I kissed you?” He asked. You furrowed your brows in confusion. A kiss from Bokuto. Oh my heart could sing. “I mean it’s just a kiss. I wouldn’t be mad at that.” (Unless they have herpes.) you told him. His lips attacked yours in a dominate kiss. He shoved his tongue in your mouth and let his hands feel all over your body. He pulled up your shirt and ogled your nonbound breast. “Bigger than I thought.” He said. You instinctively covered yourself with your arms. “B-Bokuto! What are you doing?! You’re here to s-study!” You stuttered, embarrassed that he saw your chest. “I lied. YN we’ve been close since elementary school. My feelings for you started growing, differently than just being friends. And I know you like me too. I’ve read your journal before and you have a lot of interesting things in there. For example,” “STOP!” You yelled at him. “I get it. We like each other.” “No we love each other. YN I cannot picture myself with any other women. You will be my one and only.” He said moving your arms. “That’s nice an all but do we have to do this now?” You asked. He gave you the are you serious look. “YN ive seen you describe worst scenarios in that dirty journal of yours. I know what you like and don’t like. Trust me. In fact I bet you’ll be begging for more” you couldn’t deny him. Not that you wanted to. He was right and you didn’t mind that. He kissed both of your nipples and fumbled with the strings of your sweatpants. Was he going to do everything himself. You pulled off your shirt completely and pushed him on his ass. As you began to pull off your bottoms Bokuto took off his shirt as well. You stood and took the rest of your pants off with your feet. “My God YN you really have changed.” He rubbed your ass and bit his lip. You knelt down and pulled his shorts down. You gawked at the black trail from his stomach attached to his pubic hair as you kept pulling down his shorts. Your mouth nearly watered at the sight of his base, as you kept pulling down there was more. Wtf 😬. “How do you hide all this?” You asked so confused how it fits into his volleyball shorts. He chuckled, “it’s a mans secret.” When his shorts hit the ground your hand moved to his length. He was semi-erect. You pushed his dick up against his abs and the sight of his hard length against his stomach made you drool. Not in your mouth though. You sat up from your relaxed position and put his tip against your mouth. Your tongue gently licked the tip, getting a slight taste of the skin. You hovered your mouth over him and let saliva drip down from your mouth onto his cock. “You’re really sexy baby.” He said. Nearly groaning at the sight of you below him about to suck the soul out of him. Yeah you knew what you were doing. Whenever you watched porn you’d practice on your dildo that was in your locked dresser. You licked from his balls to his tip causing him to shudder. “You’re so big. I don’t know if it can fit all the way in my mouth.” You praised him, admiring his tall member. Your right hand slowly stroking it as you pushed some hair behind your ear and stared at his glistening member enticingly. “Just take in what you can.” He told you, putting a hand in my curls.

His hand was gentle but still nudged me forward. He was eager to know what it feels like having my lips around his cock. I want to know what he taste like. Probably a salty caramel. After a while of stroking him, Bokuto got tired of the teasing and tugged my face forward harshly. Impatiently telling me to hurry up. Taking his warning into consideration I opened my mouth and stuffed a mouth full of him in my wet oral cavern. Bokuto groaned and massaged my scalp. He didn’t have a taste I expected. It was like sweat with soap. 🤨. Slowly bringing my head up and down on his length as he groaned through his teeth and cussed every few minutes. I lazily let my teeth graze his length and he hissed. Saliva pooling around my mouth, glossing my lips and his dick. Bubbles littering his dick as my saliva got thicker and mixed with his leaking cum. He shoved my head down further a couple of times making me gag and pushed his hips back. Tears threatening to slide down my cheeks scared of the suffocation from his dick. But he didn’t seem to care as he gripped my hair tightly and fucked my mouth. His hips hitting my cheeks, my nose and mouth rubbing his pubic hair while his balls hit my chin. My eyes stared up at him pleading for him to stop. Gags, gurgles and muffled moans/screams emitting from me while he complimented on how hot I look. His left hand under my jaw and his right hand gripping my scalp as his cock pushed passed my uvula. He bit his bottom lip as we both stared at each other’s eyes. His face was so captivating, I’ve never seen him show such a dirty expression. I tasted something super salty and he yanked my head back and stroked himself in front of my face spraying his cum on my lips, cheeks and nose. I whined at the mess. He put a thumb in my mouth and let the last of his cum land on my tongue. Bokuto breathed heavily as he stared at me. His thumb playing with my canines. After a while of sitting on my knees while he just stared at me quietly, I got up and climbed into his lap. “Damn, you really had me speechless.” He finally spoke snapping out of his trance giving me a kiss. Bokuto shifted us on the bed and laid me on my back. He trailed kisses down my body, from my neck to my collar bone. Collar bone to my breast to which he sucked on gently and tweaked with his fingers. Dragging his tongue down my abdomen to my little bush. I jumped at the new visitor. He hiked my legs up and made me hold them back. He played with my folds, stunned at how wet and sticky I already was. “Wow. Every inch of you is just absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to see you squirming and crying from my tongue. Soon I’ll have you screaming and cumming on my dick too.” His words had a serious effect on me. I felt my body heat up even more and I can feel myself leak more. He hasn’t even touched me ‘properly’ yet. “Oh you like to hear that. I’ll talk you through it then. Since this is your first time. I don’t want you to be lost or confused.” He moved up leaning his forehead against mine. His hand cupping my coochie lightly teasing my hole. “Do you mind if I start?” He asked keeping my eyes locked on him and his finger was waiting on in my answer. “Y-yes.” I nodded my head along with my answer. His finger slowly entered and I flinched slightly. I never played with my hole out of fear of the pain. But now with Bokuto doing it, it actually didn’t hurt. It was uncomfortable and weird but I’m sure I would get used to it. “How does that feel babe?” He asked me. My eyes snapped from his chest to his face. “It’s weird. I’ve never fingered myself but I’m getting into it.” I told him truthfully. Bokuto smiled and kissed my cheek watching how I reacted to each little move of his finger. When he rubbed against my walls my body would jolt at the feeling, when he sped up I would moan and when his thumb rubbed my clit I would groan. Everything he was doing was pleasurable. “I see you’re liking my finger. How about two?” He wasn’t necessarily asking me if he could use two. In fact as he was saying it I felt his other finger try to fit itself in with the first.

The sensation of two fingers wasn’t too bad. It did hurt a little but after he continued to finger me the pain vanished. I couldn’t even remember what it felt like. But having 2 fingers in me made me feel so dirty. Dirty and naughty. ‘Please pleasure me more Bokuto.’ I whined in my head. As if reading my mind his fingers did all type of tricks inside me. “Yeah, you like these fingers in you dirty girl. Do you want me to pleasure you more?” He said. His words nearly sent me. My hips shook a little and my hands raked his shoulders. My face was so erotic. I was biting the tip of my tongue and crying through it. His tongue played with my neck, his lips latched in different spot covering me with dark bruised loves bites. If I was in the right state of mind I would’ve pushed him off but honestly I loved the idea of him claiming me. I wanted to be his (not like some servant shit). I gasped when I felt a third finger tease at the entrance of my hole. Bokuto huffed out a smirk and poking his finger in a little. My hips backed further into the mattress. I felt the stretch and knew nothing good would come of it. I gripped his wrist to hold his hand steady. “What’s wrong?” He asked playing coy. I looked up at him, my focus now on his smirk. He was purposely teasing me and showing so much dominance over me. His hand still sliding that third finger in as he watched me cry and wheeze from the pain. “Shh baby, I’m just preparing you. You’re doing so well,” the praises kept me happy. “Really?” I asking wanting to be praised more. “Absolutely. You’re so beautiful taking my fingers. You make the most amazing sound and your eyes just keep begging for more from me. And I’ll happily fulfill those needs of yours.” His other hand caressed my cheek as he kissed me. ‘God damn this man is perfect!’ My arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss partially distracted me from the sharp pain at my hole. Controlling my arms to not choke him as he finally got that little finger completely in me. He kept his hand still as he smothered me in pecks. “Such an amazing and beautiful girl.” His compliments were making me blush. After a minute his hand picked up where he left off. My moans filled his ears and unbeknownst to me, his dick twitched a lot and cum was just coming out in small sticky beads, dripping down slowly on my sheets. “I want you to cum on my fingers baby. Tell me how to make you cum so you can soak my hand like how I did to your stunning face. Tell me what you do to make yourself cum.” He sat up and watched my hips move with his fingers. My hands gripped the sheets under me as I watched him stroke himself over me. ‘Wouldn’t it be hot if he rubbed his dick over my clit like my finger would?’ I thought to myself. “You want it? Are you thinking about my dick? Yeah, you are. How about a little sneak peek at what we’ll be doing later.” His hips moved closer to mine and he pressed his long member against my cunt. I gasped when he began to rub his dick against my clit. My hole clenched and my back arch. “Please! Bokuto please! I want you inside me.” His movements changed. His hips bucked against his hand as he fucked me with his fingers. The pads on his fingers rubbing against my walls and curling in me. His other hand palmed his dick against me making sure it’s grinding hard enough against my throbbing clit. It was rubbing me exactly the right way. My thighs trembled in the air and my hips just kept rocking against him for more friction. “Come on princess. Cum, I know you’re about to.” He pulled his fingers out and used them to rub my clit fast. I yelped and instantly orgasmed. My legs slapped together trapping his hand as he kept rubbing, overstimulating me. He soon stopped and pulled his hand away. My legs ached from being spread for so long. I held them together and Bokuto pushed my legs to the side and kissed my head. “I wish I recorded that.” He hands wrapped around my waist , holding me tightly against his body. Trying to silence my whimpering with his gentle touches. “Do you want to stop?” He asked. “No! Please no! I can go more rounds.”

I never expected a moment like this would turn out like this. I was begging for him so shamelessly and he was just loving it. It was boosting his ego so much and he would return that in a very specific way. “Oh that’s too bad. I was going to rock your world.” He teased. “Yes rock my world Bokuto. Fuck me good please.” I maneuvered my body under his, turning on my stomach, laying my chest over my hands and arching my lower back making my hips rise up and touch his pelvis. “It’s going to hurt. I don’t know how bad but it’s a bigger stretch than my fingers.” He said rubbing my ass and kissing my spine. “I like the way you hurt me.” I blurted out. I instantly blushed at my own words and felt a hard smack on my tushy. I moaned and bucked my ass back. “I thought you were a dirty little masochist in your journal. But I love this side of you. Take a deep breath for me baby.” He lowered his hips to mine as the tip of his dick tried to slide its way into my core. He missed a couple of times sending his dick to rub against my clitorus a couple of times. I continued taking deep breathes, bracing myself for the worst. Bokuto used his hand to keep his dick steady as he pushed at my tight hole and pushed passed invisible barriers as his dick tore right through me. He kept his other hand on my hip to keep me from running away as he made his way in slowly. It felt like needles, my eyes rolled back and I tried to muffle my little screams in my sheets. He was so eager that he had to hold himself back, once he was in he nearly destroyed me. His hips bucked a couple of times before he stopped and apologized to me. “Fuck! I’m sorry, I got overwhelmed. You’re okay.” He shushed my cries and kissed my shoulder. His hands were placed beside my head as his hips slowly pulled back. He was really slowly with his thrust. I can’t even call it a thrust. He was so content on making me comfortable that he almost didn’t notice me throwing it back. 👀😳. His eyes staring at my ass as it jiggled and bounced over him. A mixture of clear and bloody fluid coated his dick and he couldn’t be more happy. His hands gripped my hips making me go still as he bucked into me. Hitting a certain spot that made me scream. “Oh you like that?” He hit the same spot expertly and laughed when I cried out again. “Say my name.” He commanded and I began to chant his name and tell him how great he felt. “Bokuto, Bokuto yes more please. Right there! Harder please. I want to cum again. Make me cum Bokuto! Your dick is so big it feel amazing. You’ve made me so happy.” I said thrusting back into him trying to match his pace. “Yeah. Who’s fucking you so good baby? Say my name louder. Let the neighbors know who you belong to. I want everyone to see that you’re mine. Say it!” I couldn’t even speak. I was too fucked out. It felt absolutely amazing. I had felt an orgasm about to come as his thrust got harsher. The sound of him clapping my cheeks really turned me on more. “Can’t speak? Too fucked out? Aww. Remind me how good you look and feel when you cum. Lemme hear those high pitched moans and the babbles of nonsense coming out of your mouth.” He pulled back my hair and exposed my jugular. He groaned against my neck, feral like and I loved it. But all good things must come to an end right? I yelled his name as I came all over him. “Fuck baby. Just hold out until I cum too. I’m almost there.” He said through his clenched teeth as he continued to pound me against the sheets. He covered my mouth as he got rougher, his hips no longer hitting my ass but still fucking me senseless. I heard keys from out my window unlocking the front door. It was my mom. I panicked but Bokuto kept me in place. His hand on my lower back forcing my hips down and his other over my mouth, silencing my moans. He grunted and groaned and his nails scratched my ass. “I’m heading back out, I just needed to get my charger!” My mother yelled from downstairs. The door slammed and after a minute of silence Bokuto returned to his previous rough fucking. “Bokuto,” I whined, extremely embarrassed. What if we were caught?!

His thrusts finally stopped as he emptied his load in me. “Fucking hell gorgous! You feel absolutely amazing!” He rubbed my clit and forced another orgasm out of me as if he knew it was right there. I was out of breath and took deep and heavy inhales of air when he lifted himself off of me. “YN,” he called my name. Cum leaking out of me and onto my bed. “YN, we have to get you clean. Can you stand?” He asked looked for any signs of pain or discomfort. I nodded my head and he helped me out of the bed. But once I stood I collapsed. Bokuto instantly dropped down to my level and picked me up. I forget how strong he is. He helped me to the bathroom, forcing me to walk a little to get some feeling back in my legs. When I sat down on the toilet he waited for me to pee. I was a little embarrassed to even do it so I held it. He saw the discomfort of me holding it in on my face. “YN just pee. I just fucked your brains out there’s no need to feel embarrassed about peeing in front of me.” I couldn’t hold it anymore and just did as he said. Feeling my stomach deflate as I released fluid. “Why were you embarrassed by that? You’re too cute.” He kissed my head and started a shower for us.

#Bokuto #Bokuto x reader #smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu Bokuto #x reader #lemon #hoevember2020

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lozislaw · 3 years

Text

Come and take a gander at my f’d brain

I’m bored and also throbbing with ~inspiration~ for projects I really don’t feel like doing right now, so I thought I’d throw out some trashed or halfdone fic ideas that I’ve lost steam on over the years.

If you wanna steal or adapt any of these ideas, be my bloody guest - hopefully you do them better justice than I did.

WARNING. They are mostly south park fics, and therefore should not be read by anyone. I do have some juicy IZ ones - but they’re all still fresh in the oven, still usable, so nobody gets to have an early taste.

Make Love Not Warcraft AU

I was actually pretty hyped for this oneshot. It takes place when they’re in highschool, Stan and Kyle play World of Warcraft just like they did as kids. Basically they find each other anonymously without knowing it, and through teamspeak when they start questing together, Stan thinks Kyle is a girl because of his character (and the fact that Kyle hides his identity with a badly disguised voice). Essentially they have a romp session on the game, and being the weebs that they are, think it’s true love and try to find out who the other is. When they reveal themselves, it’s awkward as fuck - but you know, you can probably guess what happens next. I never had the balls to actually write it, because surprise: I’ve never played World of Warcraft and I was going to make a huge fool of myself pretending to understand a game that makes up a key part of the story.

Stan and Kyle work in a hospital together

This is a continuation of an old oneshot of mine, Contagious Attraction, which was an au Stan and Kyle met working in a hospital. In the part 2, it’s Stan’s pov, where after Kyle’s period of work is over, they struggle to keep in contact now that they no longer work side by side, and the little romance they started dies. Stan misses him, starts to fall for him in the absence, but when they meet up he fails to convey that and makes it out like they should keep contact in a fuck-buddy kind of way. It’s awkward and Kyle isn’t into it, and lots of angst and miscommunication later they finally clear up their feelings and make out or something equally gay. It’s a pretty half-assed storyline, I didn’t ever get around to cleaning it up.

Bunny sugar daddy AU

This one is very simple, and just a half-baked smut idea. They’re adults, Kenny is super poor and needs some goddamn money, and Butters (supervillain style business tycoon based on franchise prequel), offers him to be his sugar baby. Kenny accepts, but is surprised that in fact the super rich important ceo asshole doesn’t wanna fuck him, he wants it the other way around. There’s basically nothing else about this but that concept, I just think there’s nothing purer than evil powerful Butters taking it up the ass.

Style videogame store rivalry

This idea was based off an artwork I found ages ago that I cannot for the life of me find out who the artist is, but essentially Kyle works at the mall in a Microsoft store selling overpriced Xbox’s to fools, and Stan works at the adjacent Sony store doing the same for ps4′s. They’re meant to have a rivalry like all the other employees - but they’re besties, that’s impossible. I never really extended the plot beyond that lazy introduction, all that matters is that Kenny works for both stores cos he’s a traitorous whore just like Black Friday Trilogy.

Stan mermaid AU

This one was actually in progress and getting gradually updated on AO3 in 2020, but being the self-hating rat that I am, I grew to loathe the story. It’s orphaned now (just you try and find it). The gist is that Stan is an orca looking mermaid dude that Kyle (a marine biologist in LA) discovers and befriends (original right?) and gives heaps of food and teaches him about humans. He studies him, until Stan says he’s gonna have to leave soon, and Kyle panics at the potential lost opportunity and friendship and offers Stan stay in his saltwater pool at his house, which he accepts. Their relationship grows, Stan gets around with a wheelchair and even travels outside of his house with a blanket covering his tail. They do sappy couple shit, it’s just a nice slice of life fic. Things do get physical because of course they do. Queer platonic was always an option, but mermaid poon! I’m always up for exploring weird inhuman sex. Imagine Shape of Water kind of thing, pretty fucked up. Parents get involved and they pretend Stan’s human for them, and goofy stuff like that. There isn’t much tension aside from the fact that Stan has basically gone native and his folks don’t like that, and honestly the story wasn’t really going anywhere special. I had 30 other fics in progress at the time (not an exaggeration), and I’m awful at focusing on one at a time, so it just wasn’t getting done. I cut my losses and moved on, and it’s in the void now.

Hollywood pornstars Style fic

I started this one excited about the plot, but the longer I went the more I grew to hate the entire story. It was another in progress fic posted on AO3 that I deleted in my mass clean up at the start of the year. The idea is that Stan and Kyle are both pornstars (not cliche at alllll), had never met before, but they were asked to do a shoot together. They don’t like each other at first, but they make very good film chemistry. The become friends (still doing shoots together) and after plenty of social events, sex, drugs and rock and roll parties, they decide to go freelance and do their own company together (still in the porn industry). Eventually they date for real, even monogamously. Being crazy unhinged deviants, they break up and fight alot, and then like a routine have crazy sex and the cycle repeats. It’s toxic, they’re completely fucked up, but they love it. Yada yada they marry, Kyle cheats on him, they divorce and hate each other again. In court, they have a rendezvous, then swear to not go back into their old ways. Stan gets heavy into drinking, stops performing, and goes into a stupor and gets taken to hospital. When he wakes up Kyle is there, and he stays and looks after him, and they rekindle things healthily this time, both give up their old lives and calm down after the scare, and yada yada again they’re domestic and happy and fic ends with their estranged parents coming to visit and say their proud and shit. It’s like a high-stakes sad recovery story that turns sappy. I’m too soft for what I’d planned, the writing wasn’t meeting my standards, and it was just getting too unfamiliar yet personal to feel confident about anymore.

Bunny/ Style/ Candy Genderbend College AU

This one was supposed to be a 3 part story focusing on each relationship in the same universe. I’m a total sucker for genderbend stories and art, but it can be a challenge to get the same feeling to it as normal fics when people can’t resonate like they can the boys. It’s reading a story of original characters. Basically, the first chapter was supposed to be bunny centric, where Kenna (Kenny) meets her new classmate Marjorine (Butters) and start a fun flirty little romance, pretty simple and sweet. Next chapter is style-centric, where Kylie (Kyle) gets dragged to a gay bar by Kenna to stop being so lonely, where she meets Stacey (Stan), who is a total goth and stand-offish. They get to know each other throughout the night, and boom bang in her bedroom afterwards. Next Chapter is Candy-centric, where Wendyll (Wendy) fights with her debate club member Erica (Cartman) very aggressively. That chapter hadn’t earned anymore story lines than that. The concept felt interesting enough at the time, but I got busy with my other projects, and by the time I could work on it - my writing style had completely changed and I had no energy to completely re-write my progress.

Damien comes back to Earth - and Pip is still alive.

The title is exactly what the story is. Damien causes havok up on earth, but the students, now in highschool, still heckle him, so he changes tactics. As though in a groundhog day that he controls, Damien resets time each day so he can repeat and learns from the mistakes he makes - and creates the best and coolest version of himself that his peers will like. He finds Pip and hangs out with him on the days that his tactics fail and the class still hates him, and their relationship develops - as much as it can as Damien keeps repeating time and it’s like meeting Pip all over again. He basically speedruns their relationship each repeat into sexual territory because he’s the son of the devil duh and gets to do that. Pip eventually finds out, along with the other students, and they’re livid. So Damien bounces and Pip is depressed. The ending sucks and is way too over the top and hardcore for the light-hearted tune of the story. Pip ends up killing himself so he can go down to hell to give Damien a piece of his mind - but uh oh now he’s stuck there. Oh well, let’s go get blood married. Pretty lame, so this sucker never made it to the shop floor.

Karen & Tricia punk gf’s

This one is nice and sweet, because I wanted to indulge my beloved little baby karicia and the underfed ship that she is. Karen always goes over the top with fads and trends, whatever Tricia starts doing, Karen follows. Including piercings, DIY tattoos with heated pens, dying hair, all the jazz. Kenny starts to warn her not to fall into fads, like he did when he was young with Chinpokemon, faith-hilling, being metrosexual. I hadn’t developed more storyline than that, it was just the beginnings of a concept. To be honest this more stemmed the idea of drawing them as punk girls, than writing them. In fact - uh, lemme go do that.

The four boys as demons coming to earth AU

It’s sad that I was most proud of this sucker - by far the longest fic I’ve ever planned, but alas I didn’t get far enough to keep my guns, and he got deleted in my AO3 clean up. The plot is very long and convoluted and easily 370,000+ words. I’m not gonna torture you with the whole elaborate plot - which would extend this post about 10 pages trust me, so I’ll give you a brief synopsis (as best I can).

The four main boys are demons down in hell, Stan and Kyle are murderous overlords who fuck, kill servants and eat grapes all day. Cartman is a complete ruthless madman who enjoys waging war on the dead just ‘cause. Kenny is basically the grim reaper with the shitty job of guiding the dead souls in denial of their descent to hell, but he loves it. Satan asks them all to take up a job for him, which is to go up to the living world and fuck shit up (a simple way to put it XD). When they do - they find out that Satan transformed them into kids like their canon ages, and now they have to live in a world where they’re not respected in any capacity like they once were. Also Stan and Kyle can’t bang anymore. So imagine the exact canon show we all know, except they’re secretly demons and their shenanigans are by their own design. Each chapter is on a certain point in the show, and how they try to adjust. Also a neat thing is that Kenny is convinced Butters is an angel planted by heaven - though in reality he’s just the sweetest motherfucker alive. It’s Pip who’s the undercover angel. In the fic, Satan demands that to keep up appearances Stan must engage in a relationship with Wendy to look as humanly normal as possible - which Kyle absolutely hates. So they grow up like this, then get older, post-canon, and Stan and Kyle continue their relationship on the sly, in baby steps. Stan still keeps his appearances up with Wendy, who is oblivious to his true identity.

There are many sideplots just as interesting, but I’ll stick to the main one, where basically Kyle slowly goes more insane the longer Stan stays with Wendy, even though now it isn’t necessary. Fast forward and they get married, and at the wedding Kyle finally can’t handle it any longer, and straight up stabs himself in front of everyone, making sure Stan sees it. Kyle wakes up back in hell, after like 20 years of being on earth, gets emotional and thinks his world is just crumbling around him - which basically revolves around Stan because they were literally created together by Satan to be a part of his war against heaven. Then he finds Stan wrapped around him, and reveals that he went and killed himself at that same wedding, that he didn’t wanna be up there anymore without Kyle there. The fic basically ends there, the other guys stay on earth for the rest of their human lives, to be with the people they grew relationships. A long as fuck hurt/comfort story.

I have more but I’ll leave it there. You’re a true mate if you actually read this nonsense.

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maddiethebull · 4 years

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May I request a scrnario with leviathan with an s/o who's a closet otaku (like she rlly tries hard to hide it from him lmao) and how would he react when he manages to discover her otome/male idol merch (like enstars, tsukiuta or a Idolish7 lololol) hidden in some part of her room/closet

Levi (Obey Me!) - Prompt - Being with a secret otaku MC

Sorry that this took fucking forever, I had my Mid terms which was a ride and a half, but heres the story. I used the power of my own weeb knowledge to write this, hope you love it!! Thank you for making a request

You, Satan, and Asmo were sitting in the living room watching The Real Housewives of Devildom when you all heard an ear shattering seemingly female scream. Asmo jumped like a baby into your arms while Satan, who was off in his own world reading a detective novel since you got so caught up in the show that you weren’t even looking at your Spells notes anymore, looked up and straight to the source. It came from your room. The biggest problem was that you guys had no idea where Lucifer fucked off to so you couldn’t ask him to go check it out.

Asmo quivered in your arms, saying, “M-MC, go check it out.”

“WHAT? Me? You want me to check it out?” You? The weakest of the bunch??

Satan spoke up, “why don’t we all go check it out, that way we’ll have MC with us to make sure she’s okay and have two demons to protect her.”

Reluctantly, you and Asmo got up to follow Satan’s lead.

-Five hours ago-

Levi was so far ahead of you in Mario Kart : Journey into Devildom ™ that he passed the finish line nearly a minute before you.

“Hah, normie!!” he said.

You had been not only defeated, but defeated so badly that you silently declared Mario your arch enemy. You looked to Levi,

“Hey, that level was really hard, okay?” you said with puppy dog eyes, hoping to avoid his taunts about your gaming abilities.

“Nahhhh it wasn’t you’re just such a normie that you couldn’t finish it in first place like me.” He said it with a taunting smile and a sly look in those orange eyes.

You decided to repay his taunts; you stood up and then kneeled, your hand on your heart,

“Forgive me, your weeb highness.”

You grabbed his hand, you were going to kiss it to really drive the whole weeb highness joke in but he tugged away immediately. He was blushing the color of a fuji apple. He put his wrist over his mouth and avoided eye contact, he was slightly embarrassed from your joke, but it was you grabbing his hand that sent the flush to his cheeks. Of course, he would never admit that to you, so he said,

“H-hey, you don’t have to make fun of me.”

“You just called me a normie, Levi,” you said, looking up at him with a beaming smile.

He blushed more, “G-get up MC, it’s w-weird l-looking at you like that.” In a desperate attempt to hide his blushing cheeks, he wasn’t even looking at you now. This is why you loved teasing him back, he would always become so flustered when you teased him back and seeing him blush was the cutest thing you could ever imagine. No matter how much Levi called you a normie or made fun of you for being bad with the video game controller, you never turned down a chance to give him a taste of his own medicine. He didn’t even know the best part. You were totally an otaku! Just like him – well, maybe not just like him, you left your room much more than him and another tiny detail is that you had gone to the ends of the earth to hide your otaku side from everyone you came into contact with.

“Hah,” Levi laughed, “when you were being all butthurt about being a normie, you sounded like Suki from My Heartless Father Threw Me Out At Birth But It’s Fine Because He Died and Left Me With A Fortune But My Angry Mother Tried To Kill Me But I Killed Someone, Who Is It? When her heartless father threw-”

“I understand Levi.”

Realizing that maybe the name was a little too forth-giving to the plot, he tried a different reference just so he could see you not understand it.

“Okay what about this one, you sound like SHEba at the final battle when she gave a speech to the dog-humanoid overlord.”

“Pfft, no I didn’t, she was way more worked up okay. And that was the same day that she found out her father was the villain so that’s two people betraying poor SHEba. Also, what was with the ending, was that a set up for a sequel or something? I think that a sequel would be dragging it on too much just like when ‘Did She Do It?’ came out after ‘Do What I Say! : Should We Have A Courtship?’”

Levi was looking at you, mouth hanging open, “Uhhh MC, you’ve seen ‘Bone Catcher: The Planet of the Dogs’? AND ‘Do What I Say!’????”

“Oh, uh, no, not really, only a little bit of it. Just some snippets because you were talking about it so I watched like five minutes, not really my thing………”

“ASDFGHJKL only this meme can describe how I’m feeling.” It was a deep fried meme written in ancient devildom language over the picture of what seemed to be a demonic pikachu with its mouth open.

You sigh, “Levi I can’t read that.”

“Hm, maybe a NORMIE (lolololol) like you shouldn’t read it!”

You laughed, “okay, Levi.”

To this he smiled, you didn’t know why but he smiled nonetheless. In truth, he was just happy that he could have a conversation with you like this. You were the only person he’d ever met that went to such lengths to hang out with him, I mean Satan sometimes came around to watch dramas and Mammon came around to ask for money, but you didn’t want that. You wanted to hole up with him, hear his voice, see his smile, play the games you weren’t accustomed to. You just wanted to be with him and that was the most profound realization that came upon Levi after you two first began hanging out like this. You were his first best friend and his first romantic interest that wasn’t 2D, so it was a big deal when you came to hang out in his room.

He didn’t want you to leave so he spoke,

“So, wanna play another game so you can lose?”

“Very funny,” you said, giving him a smirk.

“For reals though, I have this new game and it’s a two player.”

You stretched your arms out as you stood up from where you were sitting on the ground, “maybe tomorrow, I have a big test coming up in Spells class and I really need to study for it.”

He looked down to the controller that was still in one of his hands, “oh, okay, just do your normie studying but tomorrow you have to be here to play it with me, like blood oath promise me.”

“I feel like a blood oath is a little too serious for this situation, pinky promise,” you said holding out your pinky.

He couldn’t help but blush at the thought of touching your hand again.

“Pffft, w-what a lame normie thing to do, l-let’s do a pinky promise t-then.”

“Okay,” you linked your pinkies together and looked into his eyes that were surrounded by a rose color that crept up to his entire face, “I pinky promise you that I will be here tomorrow so I can be your player two.”

He blushed even harder, “okay, w-whatever.” And you were on your way out, but just before you opened the door, “oh, by the way, I lost my headphones at R.A.D., can I borrow some earbuds for tonight?”

“Hmph, okay but JUST for tonight, the premiere of Generic Anime Name is gonna be on Devflix tomorrow morning and I can’t miss watching that.”

And with that, you were off to study in your room until Asmo yanked the headphones from your ears,

“Hey MC, guess what show is on?”

“Asmo I’m trying to study,” you put Levi’s headphones in your pocket as to avoid further ear pulling.

“But it’s ‘The Real Housewives of Devildom!’ Remember how you promised me last week that you would watch the new episode with me?”

“Asmo, not now, I need to study for this test

“MCCCC, you SAID you woulddddd you prommmisssed”

“Ugh fine but only if we bring Satan along to help me study during commercials.”

“Yayyyy!”

Meanwhile notification beeped on Levi’s D.D.D.,

“As a present we’ll be releasing the premiere of Generic Anime Name a little early for our loving fans

Levi rushed to your room and walked right in, not bothering to knock. It was a good thing you weren’t there because you would’ve punched him in the face if another person had come in while you were studying. He wondered for a second where you had gone, but that wasn’t the issue at hand, he HAD to find his headphones. He rummaged through almost your entire room. ‘Where would they be?’ ‘Maybe she dropped them and kicked them under the bed?’ So, he went looking under your bed and found tons upon tons of anime and otome merch. He saw a body pillow of Gavyn from Mr. Passion: Monarch’s Decision and that’s when he lost all composure and let out a scream. About five minutes of digging through your stacks of posters and T-shirts and yet another body pillow, the door was nearly busted open by you, Asmo, and Satan.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He was hurt, really hurt you could tell because he didn’t even have the strength to call you a normie. He figured you didn’t tell him because you didn’t think he was cool enough or hot enough like Gavyn. Maybe you even didn’t like him at all.

“Uhhhhh, I’m going to leave now, bye,”Asmo said, sprinting out of the awkward situation and Satan soon followed seeing that there wasn’t some ghost wandering about in your room.

“Levi-”

“Are we friends?” This caught you off guard, why the hell would he think you weren’t friends? He was your best friend and at the same time your biggest crush.

“Of course, Levi, we’re friends,” your head hung low, you felt slightly ashamed of hiding this side of you from him.

“Then why did you hide all of this from me?”

“Because I was scared of how you would react. In the human world, there was a guy I used to really like, he was my only friend at the time, but when I showed him these things, he stopped talking to me; he wouldn’t even look at me in the hallways. I felt so alone. He thought it was weird and childish and- and he said I was creepy. I just-” tears began rolling from your eyes from remembering this and realizing that Levi was nothing like that guy. Levi, even though he didn’t show it much, actually cared about you and he was even into some of the same things you were but you were just too damn scared of something like that happening again.

You choked back your tears, “I just didn’t want to lose you.”

He stood up and walked over to you, “MC, you don’t need to hide from me… I would never stop talking to you, even if you were into stuff I didn’t like. I just like being around you and having a friend to play video games with and watch anime with and you listen to me talk about Ruri-chan and- and,” his voice shook. Now both of you were crying as he pulled you in for a hug, you were both such softies that you couldn’t help but get worked up over your emotions. Neither of you wanted to lose the other, and Levi didn’t want you to feel like you needed to hide any part of you from him because, after all, you were his player two.

“Y-you should never leave your player two behind,” he said with his face buried in the crook of your neck. Lucifer gave a passing look in your room when he got back to see that you were alright but saw two emotional weebs crying and hugging instead.

“MC, Levi, I beg of you, whatever it is that you’re doing, just finish and go to sleep.”

You and Levi separated but instead of going to his room, Levi stayed with you to watch that new anime premiere episode. You shared the headphones even after you nodded off to bed and Levi was just sat next to you, listening to whatever was on his computer while smiling gently at you, studying your features as you lay peacefully asleep. Finally around five in the morning you were both asleep as Levi unconsciously held you close, in his arms, never wanting to let go of his Player Two.

—————————————————————————————————-

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astormyknight · 5 years

Text

How I came out, Multiple Experiences.

The first person I came out to is dead.

They have been for a long time. We lost her in Year 12 of High School or maybe it was when we were year 11. I just remember I was around 16. It was pretty traumatic for a lot of us. I can’t remember exactly when it happened, like what time of year except it was sometime during either the end of the year or middle of the year (even that is hazy), it was ten years ago or so now.

We weren’t super close, like we didn't hang out on weekends or after school or anything (my parents being super strict religious types who didn’t let me go into town unless it was to the library right up until I was in my last year/sort of learning how to drive).

But right around when I was becoming aware of my sexuality, or rather why I wasn’t ‘normal’ (second year of senior high, like...2008-9 or something), we’d been writing letters to each other and talking heaps at lunch and in whatever class we shared (I think it was social studies or classics). She felt bad for me because I was such a fucking nerd, and super socially awkward and a little bit chubby/super KY(空気読めない ) - I had friends, but at the time I was becoming more and more uncomfortable hanging out because they were super religious, made me feel like shit sometimes (except the other Hannah who was and still is cool) because my family were new to the church and I was (still am) a little...weird??? I was slowly becoming closer with the kids I took the bus part of the way home with/was in rowing with and their friends, but she kind of noticed how sheltered I was and was kind about showing me it was ok to open up, ask questions and try new things I guess.

ANYWAY my Mum had a bad opinion of her, but she was one of the most amazing people who went out of her way to make me see myself as a person and not a monster/demon from hell destined to return, and I couldn’t help her do the same, our situations were so different, I dunno, life is a bitch and it weighs down the best people. She made some bad choices as teenagers do, but her family wasn't really there for her either. ((My Mum scoffed at her and in earshot one day when she came to pick me up about a month or two before the incident and said to me that she wasn’t the sort of friend I wanted, and that she was destined to go nowhere (and in my first real act of defiance I stood up for her, called her hypocritical, and continued to write letters.))

I dunno why but this time of year I always have really shitty dreams about that time, about the last time I kind of awkwardly brushed off her hug goodbye (like I always did, I hated and still do hate, physical affection) and how I wish I’d reciprocated even just a little. Not being able to go to her memorial because my Mum still didn’t like her/her own parents were dicks/I wasn’t in her super close circle of friends. I know I couldn’t have done more than I did, even with some of the content in the letters, I didn’t know what she was going through exactly, I didn’t really GET how bad things were for her. I thought she was going to be able to tough shit out and make her break eventually, but yeah. Life is rough, teenagers go through shit, and yeah. I’ve been dreaming lately, and it sucks ass. I always have this guilt about my grief because I wasn’t in her inner circle, but to me she was the only person really I trusted at that time with one of my “darkest” secrets.

The second person I came out to was one of the kids I rode the bus home with who is a total no bullshit person. To this day, I am slightly scared of her, but in the best way. She told it like it was. Super awesome and still is, I’m gutted I missed the opportunity to catch up over winter last year when I was in England. I’d borrowed a French CD from her as I was trying to break my weeb phase and try music from other places, and she was worried about the racy cover, the torso of a naked woman (Indochine’s Paradize). MY DUMB ASS TEXTED BACK AND WAS LIKE...DUDE, I’M A LESBIAN...or some stupid shit like that (what a way to come out, over some pervy CD cover....gods I was/am dumb). I don’t think she really knew how to handle it, like it was SUPER out of left field, and like yeah. I don’t really remember what happened after that, she never treated me any different, she asked a lot of really sensible questions, and was patient with me. I think this was in our final year of high school, but it could have been towards the end of year our second year.

I told her best friend at the time shortly after that, and she was kinda weird about it, lol, but like in her own way...Like in a lot of ways I think she’d guessed (I think a lot of my peers had guessed before me, in typical useless lesbian fashion) because I would always say stuff like “If my friend was gay, that’d be ok, so long as they didn’t try anything on me...” “Love the sinner, hate the sin....” ect. ect. This was right around the time when Gay Marriage was in the news for one reason or another, roughly around three years or so before it became legal in New Zealand. So that was a ride. I still don’t know how the whole thing didn't get blown up by her and she didn’t tell the rest of our peers (if she did, they kept it quite and were really respectful, waited for me to tell them). I was terrified of my family or the teachers finding out too...for a little bit anyway, and then towards the end of Year 13 I think I came out to everyone (except my family) and just was like fuck it, if people have a problem with it, I’ll just punch them/shout at them and then go cry in the toilets or something - but I didn’t need to because for whatever reason most of my year group were really cool about it!

There were a few people in between then though.

For some reason I was in a car with a fellow self proclaimed nerd some time late at night driving somewhere in town (to or from a movie, or potentially ball lessons or something?Maybe even something to do with a one year memorial to above mentioned friend, I REALLY can’t remember.) This person was also one of the people I felt the least judged around, like I’d say a lot of dumb shit or nerd out about something and they’d either laugh, give me a look that was like... you weirdo....but never treated me any different. I think at this point I was like... .I don’t remember how it came up, but I was like...please don’t crash, but I think I like girls. And I think I also said how I’d told above two friends, but wasnt out to family because that would not be a fun time ect. I don’t remember much after the fact, but for me this was significant because baby gay me was sweet on her (don’t freak out if you’re reading this dude please, like I at this point I was still struggling with the whole admiration vs romantic interest thing. I thought you were super straight, didn’t want to take/ruin any friendship we had for granted, wasn’t like really interested in dating anyone even though in highs school that wasnt and option anyway ect...I thought/think you are cute, have a good sense of humor, great taste in books and are very kind and intelligent, qualities that I really respect and value in all my friends). She’s a cool kid, probably the one who had the closest interests to me out of that whole group in terms of reading taste and interest in Japanese stuff. I AM SO SORRY. SO. SO SORRY I TOLD YOU WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING. My sense of self preservation at that/this time is obviously no-existent. Also cheers for not telling my Mum...she thought you were neat and I think she talked to you a bit about unrelated stuff (probably for you Halloween party??? occasionally at cycling, you were legit the only friend I’ve had that like, she approved of) at some point.

One of the more popular/well respected/super out of my social status girls and I were taking extra scholarship exams for biology and classics. She was super popular, super snobby, REALLY EMOTIONAL, weirdly open about the grossest stuff and also really beautiful. I was SUPER intimidated by her, and she like flat out asked me why I wasn’t interested in any of the guys I hung out with outside of school/never talked about any crushes on celebrities... again...Dude, I like girls I think... (I ALSO HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON MY MARRIED CLASSICAL HISTORY TEACHER. FUCK. MY. LIFE. Never told anybody at school though.) She was SHOOK. To her credit, she recovered quickly asked a bunch of questions and promised not to tell my parents. I think she told some of her other popular friends, who to their credit, didn’t treat me any different and didn’t out me to teachers or my parents. As mentioned, my peer group was surprisingly blase about stuff like that (probably owing to one of their own coming out of the closet at some point either at the same time/a while before me). I wasn’t exactly bullied for that, but I was picked on for other things (like my nerdiness, my weight, my quirky habbits, my loathing of all things feminine that I had to wear including my uniform, my lack of fashion sense, my scatterbrained-ness).

Another one of the more fiery kids was super cool about it too. She was always a bit much for me, and also the last person I expected to be one of the first people to get married/partnered up and have a house/kid on the way. She was probably the one who grilled me the most on everything. Because until this point I was one of the SUPER religious kids, with SUPER traditional parents.

Once I hit Uni, I went full baby gay. Came out to my room-mates right away. No problems there. Came out to friends I made right away. Came out to pretty much everyone I met and was bloody obnoxious about it. How I didn’t accidently out myself to family until like...third year Uni I HAVE NO IDEA.

At this point I was “seeing” someone from online, who halfway through third semester of my first year was cheating with a dude from Auzzie. I got so upset I actually went propper drinking after one of our college functions and broke down. I came out to my parents then, at the end of year, right before final exams, I wrote a drunk email - got my very patient older flatmate to check it (she was an insomniac, and still awake at 3am watching shitty tv and studying). She made me wait until at least 7am and a cat nap/a shit ton of water and sobering up and a final read through before I clicked send.

My Mum must have read it at like, 8am, because I got an email right around 10am and it went down like a ton of bricks. Bible verses and pleas to get help and they drove up and saw me to lecture me the next week, we had a fight of sorts, in public, but not like a super big one, just one where Dad didn’t talk for me the whole summer after that (I went home against my better judgment to work and not pay rent...I relied on them for money during Uni, and have mixed feelings about that, I am grateful they still gave me the opportunities they did, but somewhat bitter because they don’t LISTEN to anything I say that challenges what they believe when I had/have to consider and listen to what they believe) and then not until like...the middle of the next year? Yeah, it was a wild ride.

We still are very tense with each other and fight about a lot of stuff, they get progressively more racist/homophobic every year but then they have lulls where we don`t talk about stuff of that vein and it’s almost like we’re a family again? My brother is mostly cool, he’s not super on board with gender diversity, but he’s been doing some reading recently and at least uses my preferred pronouns and name most of the time...

Only some of the extended family know, basically one family of cousins on my Dads side (plus their parents), and only one of the girls on my Mums plus her parents who are awesome (they offered to have me come stay with them and help out if my family booted me). I haven’t said anything to the grandparents. I actually outed myself accidentally to my cousin on my Dads side in third year, at a friends place (I thought I outed her, accidentally, then remembered....shit, she’s out to everyone, I’m only out to friends...) - she was in a dorm together and asked how I knew my friend. “Oh, we both go to the same LGBTQAI+ support group...” I say. “Fuck....” I say. “Dammit, I owe Sarah (older cousin) $50″ she texts me after she breezes out the door to some party.

The one almost family member I nearly told died before I could come clean. Shortly after I came out to my parents, a family friend of ours, who my parents knew through cycling, got really aggressive cancer. She was gone by mid-way through my second year in July. I’ve been dreaming about her too recently, I always dream about the two of them this time of year. I think Nic knew, she would always talk about stuff with me that made me feel super supported and loved. I miss her, and regret this the most.

- So yeah. TLDR; I HAVE BEEN HAVING SAD DREAMS. I am avoiding sleeping even though I need to be up early to prove to my bank that I AM NOT DOING MONEY FRAUD BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER I DAMN WELL LIVE AND WORK HERE AND HAVE A STUDENT LOAN!

#tw death #tw suicude #internalized homophobia #I went to an all girls school from year 7 to year 13 #I grew up with super religious parents

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