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priestfrommidnightmass · 5 months

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i’ve decided that 2024 is going to be my year of my rest relaxation and most of all selfishness. i’ve been reflecting on myself this past year and this holiday season has made it really clear to me about how i’ve been working myself to the bone for others and holding myself back in terms of the things that bring me joy and i just can’t keep living like this. i’ve never thought of myself as a people pleaser i’ve actually actively been against that label but the more i’ve been reflecting on my behaviors i’ve realized that i totally am one and well fuck that!!! i hate that shit!!! it’s not that i want to be rude or unkind or anything because that’s definitely not my goal but. straining myself and pushing myself farther than i need to and ignoring my own wants and needs in fear of being judged isn’t going to make people love or care about me or put any more thought into me. i’m so utterly exhausted of constantly giving 150% for others when i don’t get even an eighth of that back. so i’ve decided i’m going to start putting myself first and everyone else leagues behind me because. so much of my life is rooted in guilt and shame and beating myself up because of how i’m perceived and it makes zero sense and all it does is make me fucking miserable. i want to knock down even those stupid mental barriers like how i’ve been too scared to go see movies by myself or forcing myself to be quiet because i’m convinced that all of my emotions whether it’s misery or joy is a burden to others because Nobody. Cares. nobody cares!!! nobody cares and that’s so freeing. i am going to find a way to love myself if it fucking kills me i am going to do what makes me happy and not care if it’s a “burden” to anyone else (it isn’t.) i am gonna do what i want when i want to fuckin do it and i don’t Care anymore. this will be the year i come out victorious in the idgaf war and it’s gonna be incredible

#i really have just been. so exhausted #and i can’t keep maintaining this #i’m naturally a hard worker so i’ll still be putting in the hours #i’ll just be doing it for myself and not in the hopes that i get some crumbs of validation #i’ve been feeling so. underappreciated and invisible in my life and that’s been really devastating #so i really need to take a step back and look to myself for some appreciation #because self hatred is so tiring and i’m the only person who will ever be able to give me what i want #i am no longer going to be begging for attention and validation and love #if people want to be with me and talk to me they’re going to have to show it because i can’t really bring myself to care anymore #i’m doing the BARE MINIMUM!!! well my bare minimum can be a lot. but i’m doing it for ME!!!#this is probably an annoying post but like i said. i don’t care #i’ve said things of this nature before but i am going to make an effort this time in making it count because i truly can’t live like this

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inkskinned · 1 year

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i had a dream last night that you apologized. it was for real this time. my hands shook while i read it; waiting for you to do the thing you always do - chewing on my lip, i was waiting for you to make it about you. waiting for the part where everything shifts and suddenly - again! - i'm taking care of you.

it's never really your fault, something is always "happening" for you. you always have an excuse. it's hard to explain because my heart is too gentle. i keep finding reasons to forgive your repeated actions. i keep saying well, you didn't have it easy or that was a hard time or maybe i just upset you enough for that reaction. i talk about how i was a troubled kid once. i talk about how people stuck by me when i went dark. i give you what i never got.

i texted my siblings about it: you ever remember something and then get mad about it all over again. and still, that little voice inside my head - did i not explain myself explicitly enough? am i being unfair? the boundary i drew had been communicated, but what if i should have given more chances for you to get used to it?

i had a dream you finally saw things my way. that you said - i realized why you were hurting. i caused that. i'm sorry. i had a dream that i know i'm going to have to talk about in therapy.

you want to know the worst part? i would forgive you pretty much instantly. i would roll over and let you back into my life immediately. i would tell everyone that you've turned over a new leaf. i would defend you like an attorney. i'd say how you've been working hard and finally apologized to me. i'd tell them all that the bare-minimum from you was finally showing.

that's all it would take. a single, real i'm sorry. and it's knowing that you can't do it. it's knowing you will never, ever take responsibility.

#warm up #i wanted to write this different #but got distracted by my actual job #writeblr #ppl finding out i actually work a 9-5:30 fulltime job:#wait what the fuck but ur. always . like. posting #me: haha :) yeah

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orikiys · 2 months

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🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧 ࣪ 𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

#ॱଳ͘#k-labels #kflixnet #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #heeseung angst #heeseung imagines #heeseung fic #heeseung oneshots #enhypen scenarios #enhypen angst

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ctrlchar · 1 year

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Chishiya NSFW alphabet

This was not requested,I just have a insane obsession with this man and needed to indulge myself🤭

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Chishiya isn’t a very affectionate person to begin with,therefore aftercare is a little hard for him.This results in the bare minimum,him putting his arms around you telling you how good you did and MAYBE if he knows he went a little rough he’ll clean you up before he does himself

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself he loves his brain and his hands.The fact that he can think of so many things to say/do to his partner drives him insane and if you see him smirk randomly just know that’s exactly what he’s thinking about

He loves his hands simply because he can’t do anything without them.He can’t tease you nor on the rare occasion hold your hands above your head.

I’m a firm believer he’s a ass man.Nothing can or wil change my mind.He absolutely loves your ass.Any little chance he can get he’ll either grab it place his hand on it.Only if there’s no one around of course.

I also think he loves his partners eyes since he can find out so many emotions from just your eyes.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

He hates messes with a passion therefore he’ll most likely do one of 3 things.Cum inside of a condom.Cum inside of you.Or when he’s getting himself off he’ll cum into a tissue.Although the thought of his cum dripping out of you had definitely been on his mind a time or two

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As said above he would love to cum inside of you and watch as his cum drips onto the surface below.

He’s also always wanted to try being a bottom. During the few sexual encounters he’s had he observes his partners facial expressions and wonders what it feels like to not have to do any work and just sit there looking pretty.

His corruption kink (more in letter K) is something he will not share with anyone.And if he does share it with you he will absolutely not go into full detail.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s definitely had chances to have sex but never did…with a few exceptions. He does know what he’s doing though since he is infact a doctor.I also believe he would definitely search things up that he wasn’t sure about just so he could please you right.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

I think he would choose between Missionary,Doggy,or reverse cowgirl.

Missionary because he loves to watch your expressions as he thrusts into you.Since I firmly believe he’s a ass man I think he’d like doggy or reverse cow girl just as a way to see your ass.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment,or are the humorous)

Definitely more serious.The most “humor” you’ll get out of him is a little smirk occasionally when you react to something a certain way

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn’t really worry about hair down there.But he does have corse straight black hair growing down there

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s not very intimate but he is definitely careful and observant. Maybe if you ask him he’ll light a little candle even though he thinks it’s redundant.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really get himself off that much.Only if he’s hard and it doesn’t seem to go away quickly and if that’s the case he’ll go to you but if you’re away for say a game or something important then he will resort to getting himself off if he thinks he can’t wait until you come back

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Teasing - This man could tease you for hours upon hours without getting bored and he does exactly that.Whenever the two of you are with friends for lunch or something he’ll creep a hand up your thigh and if you’re wearing a skirt or dress? Good luck

Corruption-The thought of him taking someone’s virginity,or just simply getting them to do something (consensually) that they wouldn’t usually do is enough to get him going which is part of why he’s a executive member at the beach.Seeing all these people get corrupted from borderland has him going insane

Begging- He just loves to see you beg for him.Either when he’s teasing you or after he’s punishing you round after round

Public- Now he would never put himself into a position to where he could get caught.He would hate to have someone see you in that position but in the bathroom of a store or restaurant?He would absolutely do that if you obliged.

Overstimulation-do I need to explain more? He loves watching your body jerk around as he continues to fuck you through an orgasm

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Preferably he would like to do it on either your bed or his bed but he is interested on trying it on the beach

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you solving a game gets him going for some reason. If there’s such thing as a thinking kink he definitely has it.He loves watching the gears in you head turn as you solve a game.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing messy (cum play,piss,spit) and he also would never do anything involving you and someone else.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He would much rather recive,but he is amazing at giving.The only issue is he does not enjoy the feeling of cum on his face whatsoever

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s usually at a happy medium between slow and fast but if you tell ask him to go faster he will but not without going at s agonizingly slow pace first.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t have anything against quickies but he doesn’t seem the need for them.Mostly because he has self control and can wait until there’s more time for a longer;more drawn out round

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He definitely is down to take some risks as long as he is 100% sure neither of you will get caught.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He usually lasts about 2-4 rounds but he draws them out more then say a normal person

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Absolutely not.If you have a higher sex drive then him he may own one dildo or vibrator for you but he will only have them for you and will not use them on you during sex unless you ask

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

YES.He is literally the king of teasing.Hell sometimes he likes teasing more then sex itself.There’s just something about watching you come undone before you even have sex that gets him going

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not really loud,the most you’ll hear from him is grunts in your ear as he presses his front against yours and fucks you into the bed

When he’s close he will start to let out louder noises but nothing more then a grunt

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He absolutely hates being called daddy.Like raging hatred but if he’s ever bottoming then him quietly letting out a “mommy” or “momma” here and there isn’t too out of the question.

He’s also definitely fantasized about fucking you over his desk in his doctors coat

And also, as much as he hates mess he wonders what your face would look like covered in his cum.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s about average in thickness but slightly above average in length with a few prominent veins

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He could probably go a few days with little to no sexual encounters but if it’s been a while and his partner wants to have sex he will oblige if he has time

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He has a hard enough time falling asleep as is,but if he’s gone for more rounds then usual he’ll quickly clean himself up and then get in bed and fall asleep within 5 minutes

#chishiya smut #chishiya x reader #chishiya fic #chishiya headcanons #chishiya #alice in borderland smut #alice in borderland #chishiya alice in borderland

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isa-ghost · 2 months

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shaking you by the shoulders. gnawing at the bars of the enclosure. begging screaming yelling sobbing crying for some happy qphil hcs . phil and his children. what do they do to destress. how do they recover from tragedy . p lease

Yknow what I need these so badly rn, I'm doing this ask first. Happy qPhil time.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

qPhil is a simple man. His kids are happy, he's happy. I've touched on this previously but they make him laugh so much. They're the fastest way to make him happy.

Seeing random pretty birds while on wandering adventures is another thing that makes him happy. They make him think of Rose.

I have to mention flying. I have to. I know it's angsty bc his wings are fucked. Shhh. Shut. Shut the up. It made him so happy. It still does, he has a glider and a grapple hook and a trident with riptide SHUT UP LET HIM FLY.

The times he and the kids share music together. The kids fucking love Battlecry and Dreamland and the three of them will start belting it out together.

Obligatory sparring mention. Listen some of the fandom makes pvp his whole thing and personality and that's not true but he's still good at it and likes it a lot. Esp when he gets to be unnecessarily homoerotic with Fit or Etoiles.

Building makes him happy ofc. Creating in general. He can't remember atm but he used to be an architect you could say, discovering the creations of the hardcore gods and tidying them up. Getting to make creations of his own for someone like him to discover one day feels fulfilling, even if he doesn't quite know why currently.

His friends' laughs make him happy. Fit's especially. You know the one. The one he does anytime he gets to be up to some fun destructive rebellious bullshit.

Messages aren't the only way the gods, especially Rose and Kristin, communicate with him. They give little signs that are subtle enough to go unquestioned by others but noticed by him. They're always with him and that makes his heart full.

I can't not mention his own stupid jokes he makes with the purpose of making Tallulah especially die inside a little. His lame jokes are for him and him alone sometimes.

The funny thing is when you ask what makes him happy without the involvement of other people, it might take him a second to answer, if he can answer at all. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, he's very "care for others and only the bare minimum for myself," but it's also a testament to how being loved and loving others makes him happy. Having people to make smile and laugh. Having people to show cool shit and teach cool things. Human connection makes him happy.

His crows and their dumbassery make him happy. For all the shit they affectionately subject him to and all the disapproval he puts on about the said shit, he'd be pretty lost without them. They've always been reliable to make him smile or at least feel heard when he has no one else.

He fucking loves all the cultural exchange he experiences with his friends. He could listen to Missa or Cellbit or Etoiles or literally fucking anyone talk for hours. God his friends are so cool and so are the things they tell him about.

Obligated to mention that the thought of Chayanne, a child, beat Ender King's ass for 3 days straight and bruised his ego so hard he gave up using Phil as a meat suit. It always cracks him up without fail.

Getting to reminisce to people about things. Especially memories of Techno or things he's done with Goddess of Death. He loves any excuse to talk about them and how awesome they are.

Crow brain means adventuring and finding cool loot makes him happy. Fuck EK he tainted it a little but Phil will reclaim the hobby if it kills him. He loves the rush of opening a new chest and seeing what cool shit awaits inside.

Okay listen this idiot is allergic to self care sometimes but god does he love the chill days where he and the kids just sit around or stay in one place and just hang out doing something fun and low energy. It's why he hates the reset. He wants the goddamn places they'd do that at back.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qphil headcanons

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blakeswritingimagines · 6 months

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Kink List with Yandere Aemond Targaryen

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Well, in the rare case that he allows the object of affection to be subjected to intense or painful “activities”, he makes sure to give you proper aftercare. His love is supposed to be comforting not only frightening. He can be quite sweet when he feels like it…

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He can have any number of preferences. Sometimes he loves your eyes and face, others your hair. But mainly for him, it is your neck. He has always loved running his hand down your neck and seeing you shiver with pleasure. To feel your heart beat faster as he leans in for a passionate and forceful kiss.

As for his own body parts. He is quite particularly fond of his hands. He is very much a person who likes to handle things. His hands are his most precious tools. They can build or destroy. And he likes that about them. They have power that he likes having and being able to use…

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Rarely outside of you as he loves how it feels, but when he's extra obsessive and his possessiveness takes over he'll cum on your chest or face letting the mental image burn in his mind.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Only a little after you two started dating, he grew jealous of someone's attention on you and made a snap decision of killing him and then having his way with you saying the blood was from him during training.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Quite a lot if I may say so myself. There was a time in his past when he was quite the bachelor. He had spent many nights in many beds, with many beautiful women. However, nowadays, the only person he needs is his precious one. And you are more than enough for him to handle.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The Missionary position. It is the best way of being close to his love. You can look at each other, and it is a great way of seeing your bodies together. It is beautiful, and it is all he needs to make him satisfied. Though it is hard to choose only one position, there are so many great ways to express one’s love and affection.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I suppose I would say, not at all. But wouldn't be surprised if you described him in a less… generous manner. I don’t think he would call himself “goofy”, but he would confess to being, perhaps a bit of a brute in intimate times. But it is not always easy to control oneself when the situation calls for it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Yes to all of the above. Being clean when you are engaging in such activities should be the bare minimum. As far as you are concerned, he has nothing but concern about your well-being, and that includes your cleanliness. He wants you to be in the best of conditions. So in short, to answer the question, he would do his best to make both of you clean and presentable during intimate times.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

As already stated, he is in the mindset of being very possessive and sometimes controlling while in a yandere state. He enjoys taking control. But for you, he is quite tender, affectionate, and caring (when he wants to be…) So in intimate times, he will take full control but also be sure to give you just as much affection in return. He makes sure you experience every bit of his love…

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I would say alone time is quite rare for him now. And I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t bother him. He would much rather share his intimate moments with his precious love. But when he does find himself alone, and in need, he will take what he wants. And he would not hesitate to satisfy his needs.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He does have quite the fondness for “roughing” his lover up a little. Perhaps pinning you in a position that leaves you powerless and vulnerable.

= Dominance and submission

= Humiliation

= Public sex

= Marking

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He has spent the vast majority of nights either in a palace or, on the odd occasion, in a tent or a ship. But his favorite is in a bed. The perfect place in his opinion to spend a night. And with a warm, soft, and beautiful people at your side, what more could you want?…

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Well, knowing that his precious one is fully and wholly his. Knowing that he alone has your affection and attention and that he is the center of your attention is quite a thrill. I can think of very few things that bring him more joy than seeing the eyes of his lover looking upon him with what he thinks is love and adoration. That is the ultimate turn-on for him.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

= The idea that you might prefer another man or woman. The idea of you being with another makes him feel cold inside, and his heart sinks. It is the one thing that he would rather die than have happen.

= Anything that involves “sharing” you. Because you (and your love) are his and only his.

= He wouldn’t do anything that would make you feel too dirty in any way. You are pure and precious in his eyes so he wants to keep you from having to do anything that is less than beautiful and pure.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He would say giving over receiving. However, if it pleases you then he will certainly perform the act for you for hours at a time. As for his skill, he's sure any partner who has had the honor of being given the service by him would agree that he is quite skilled in that department. It’s a gift he has been blessed with.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He would start out rather slow. To let the moment be taken in and enjoyed by you both, if he had any control over himself. But he tends to be quite impatient, he could see things ramping up, and then he would be, fast and rough, perhaps even a bit brutal.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Yes, he does enjoy quickies. He thinks they are a great way to release some sexual tension and get straight to the point. He doesn't have a specific frequency, as it really depends on his mood and the situation not caring how often he pulls you away from whatever you do, but I would say generally he enjoys at least a couple per week.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Always willing to experiment and try. And he is always very “adventurous” in trying new things. He would like it if you were also willing to take risks in bed. And he is always willing to indulge you. Just seeing you happy makes his heart flutter.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He is quite proud of his stamina. He can go for quite a few rounds. With breaks of course. He can stay up all night and “go at it” for hours. And he lasts quite a long time, which he's sure you appreciate. But the point is, it’s not just the quantity, but quality as well. He is quite careful that you are satisfied above all else.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He does own many toys. And they do come in handy from time to time when one wishes to have a little fun alone. It is quite a relaxing experience he finds, just to have some private time now and then.

But yes, he has also used them on you. And thinks you certainly enjoy them. He finds something quite delightful about you getting to use his toys on you. He is quite generous with you in that way. Sharing is caring, after all.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I would say quite a lot actually. He finds it quite amusing to tease and play with your feelings. He likes to make himself seem unattainable. However, he always makes sure to give you the affection you crave. But it is rather fun to make you beg and squirm for it. He enjoys making you feel vulnerable. He can get quite creative with the way he treats you when alone.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Well, sometimes he can get quite loud. He has a loud voice as it is. And when he loses himself in the moment he can become quite the noise maker. Sometimes he finds himself growling, or making other animal-like noises. His voice gets lower and deeper when he does. He is not sure why it is, but it is certainly something he enjoys. Perhaps he has some animal inside him that comes out during certain times…

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

There is quite a lot he hides from the world. A yandere such as himself has quite the dark side he never admits to. But the secret would be that he spends a decent amount of time fantasizing about the things he would do to you if he had no more boundaries to hold him back. If he had no fear of you leaving him, if he had no fear of losing you. He is not sure he is that wild of a person, at least not in the sense that people would think. But he does have thoughts that make him wonder if he is.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I suppose I can indulge you on that front. I can say that it is above average. Not the biggest in the world. But for your information, I believe that it is, a good healthy size. Even the biggest of beasts can be tamed by someone of a smaller stature.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I would say that it is quite high. His sex drive is indeed quite high. He finds pleasure in knowing that his precious one has your needs met. And it fills him with a sense of pride if you ever say to him that he is more than capable of satisfying you. He may be a Yandere, one who can be extremely aggressive and brutal, a little ruthless. But he does have his softer side, when it comes to such things he is not certainly always a tyrant.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Oh, it doesn’t take him long at all. Maybe a minute or two? And he is snoring already. It is quite pleasant really. It is like he feels himself sinking into a deep, comfortable slumber. A sleep so deep and peaceful, that no noise can penetrate or wake him. Except of course for the sound of you calling his name. It is the sweetest thing to hear and wake up to for him.

#aemond targaryen x reader #prince aemond #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #house of the dragon aemond #hotd aemond #aemond x reader #house of the dragon #kink list

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archiveikemen · 7 days

Text

Xeno Main Story: Chapter 1

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

He was a star that shined the brightest. He was an icey, mysterious gem.

His brilliance scared me, and yet I found myself drawn to it.

That’s right. I’m certain that it was from the very moment we first met, I became unable to resist it.

As time went by, I finally found out that a passion stronger than anyone else’s was hidden inside that lonely ice-cold gem.

The trapped body could only be burnt down by those thoughts—

…

The next day after I received an unexpected suggestion from Sakura, I hurriedly requested to go on leave.

I lifted my head and looked up at the towering condominium.

(I’ll be living here with exe Creed, starting from today. Unbelievable…)

Although I arrived at the condominium as instructed, my heart was filled with unease.

(But this is all for the success of my pitch. Since I’ve already decided on this, I should give it my best…!)

I clenched my hands that had turned cold from my nervousness and stepped into the building.

…

Rina: Please take good care of me from today.

Sakura: Mm. Let’s get along well, Kawanaga.

Sakura: That’s a lot of luggage you’ve got there~. I told you that it’ll be sufficient to just bring yourself.

Rin: No, that’s not the case…

(I only brought along some clothes and stuff I needed for work, but the bare minimum amount of luggage turned out to be this much.)

Sakura: There are various things I need to explain to you, but let’s head to the lesson room before that.

Sakura: This condominium has its own training and lesson rooms.

Sakura: A dance lesson is currently ongoing. A few of the members aren’t at work right now, shall we go meet them first?

Rina: Got it.

Sakura: Come with me. Oh, those must be heavy. You can just leave your luggage wherever you like.

Rina: Eh!?

(He said that it’s alright to do so, but it still feels rather embarrassing to leave my luggage lying around such a beautiful place…)

I hesitantly left my luggage in a corner and followed behind Sakura with only the small bag I usually carry around.

…

Sakura: Oi, the three of you! Look over here.

Hugh, Ivy, Xeno: …

Three people turned their eyes towards me the moment Sakura said that…

Sakura: This is Kawanaga Rina from Egis Public Holdings!

Sakura: As decided last night, she will be living here with us from today onwards. Be sure to get along well.

Rina: I-It’s nice to meet you all!

I energetically bowed my head.

Ivy: Things turning out this way must be hard on you. Feel free to approach me if you need help understanding anything.

Rina: Thank you.

Ivy spoke to me, seemingly in an attempt to soothe my nerves.

Hugh: …

Hugh turned his gaze away and remained silent. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking from his facial expression.

And…

Xeno: … Whatever.

Xeno spoke in a cold tone, wearing an unbothered expression.

Sakura: Hey, Xeno. You don’t have to put it that way, you know?

It was like he meant to say “this is not worth stopping my practice session for”.

Xeno: We don’t have much time. Leave if you’re done talking.

Xeno: Oi, get back to practice. There’s no time for idle talk.

Hugh: Yeah…

Ivy: Sorry, I’ve got to go for practice.

The three guys quickly resumed with the practice session.

Sakura: Goodness… they’re so unfriendly.

Sakura: Oh well, that’s just how they are. Don’t take the things they say to heart.

Rina: O-Okay…

Even so, the uncomfortable feeling didn’t disappear.

(I wonder if I’ll really be able to work well here…)

…

Sakura had a few things to explain to me, so we headed back to the living room.

Sakura: Right, there’s something I need to tell you first and foremost.

Sakura: This extension of the project planning deadline is a special arrangement made for only you, so I ask that you keep it a secret from everyone else.

Sakura: That goes to say, regardless of what anyone says at the company, this is a secret. Can you do that?

Rina: Yes. Absolutely.

Sakura: Yup, that’s good.

Sakura smiled at my response.

Sakura: Well then… let’s talk about the details regarding your work here. Firstly, there’s the housekeeping duties.

There were multiple housekeeping staff in the condominium, and the cleaning of common areas was a shared responsibility.

Besides that, each member’s room had its own designated housekeeper.

Sakura: I want to let you be the designated housekeeper for one member’s room. Is there any specific member whose room you want to be assigned to?

Rina: A member’s room that I want…?

I wasn’t able to give an instant answer.

Sakura: You can choose someone who will be easy to discuss your plan with, or just someone you’re interested in.

Sakura: Any member is fine, but I want you to be able to communicate with him well.

Sakura: What I’m aiming for… is the change you will bring through your interactions with the members.

Rina: Uh…

(What should I say? If only it wasn’t so hard to make a decision…)

Sakura: If it’s too hard to decide, why don’t you try picking one out of the three members you met earlier?

Sakura: Take Ivy for example. I think he’s easy to talk to.

(Indeed, Ivy was the leader and the friendliest member towards me in the group.)

(He might be willing to listen to my project plan.)

… However, contrary to what I felt, the first image to form in my mind was that pair of cold and sharp eyes.

(That person left me with the strongest impression…)

As though I was pulled in by that powerful light, I opened my mouth to respond.

Rina: … I want to be assigned to Xeno.

Sakura: Huh? … Are you serious?

Rina: Yes.

Sakura’s eyes widened in shock.

(Of course he reacted this way. I’m surprised by the decision myself.)

I wasn’t able to have a proper conversation with Xeno earlier, and he’s been saying nasty things to me since we met.

(I know he’s not a good choice and this will only make things difficult for myself, so why him? That cold gaze was deeply ingrained in my body.)

Besides that, I had other reasons for choosing him.

Xeno was the centre of exe Creed. He was always perfect and precise. His vocal skills have received praises worldwide.

I could sense from their interactions so far that he held a high level of influence towards the other members.

Rina: Xeno is the strictest of all members, but I believe that it’ll serve as a boost to success for my plan if I manage to talk him into accepting it.

Sakura: I see. … Yeah, you’re right about that. Taking your goal into consideration, I understand your decision.

Sakura: Very well. You shall be assigned to be Xeno’s designated housekeeper, then. That guy has some very strict standards, so be careful of him.

Rina: Okay!

Just then…

Xeno and the others were back from the lesson room, seemingly done with practice for the day.

Ivy: Oof. Let me rest for a bit.

Hugh: I’m tired…

Xeno: …

Sakura: Perfect timing. Xeno, Kawanaga will be your room’s designated housekeeper starting from today.

Xeno stopped in his tracks and looked our way expressionlessly.

Sakura: Make sure to get along well with her.

Xeno: What do you mean 'get along'? … Oi, Aegis.

Rina: !?

(Is ‘Aegis’ referring to me? The name of the company I work at, ‘Aegis Public Holdings’?)

The way he couldn’t even be bothered to remember my name left me speechless. Xeno stared at me with a sharp gaze.

Xeno: Your goal doesn’t concern me, nor am I interested in it.

Xeno: However, since you’re responsible for housekeeping, do it perfectly. I won’t tolerate any incomplete work.

Option selected: ‘Understood’

Rina: I understand. I made this decision myself, so I’ll definitely do a good job.

Xeno: Of course you will. Don’t go back on your word.

(This person is indeed terrifying…)

Those words that sounded stricter than I had expected made me break out in cold sweat.

(I must pull myself together. This is what I chose for myself.)

I chided my heart for shrinking in fear and raised my head to face him directly.

Rina: I will ensure that my work is up to your standards!

(For my dreams…)

Rina: I absolutely will. I look forward to working with you!

Xeno: … Prove it to me through your actions. I’ll kick you out immediately if you fail.

With that, Xeno grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and headed out again.

Rina: … Did I anger him?

Ivy: Nah, he’s just going back to the lesson room. He seems dissatisfied with our practice session earlier.

Hugh: … He repeated his solo part countless times.

Sakura: There he goes again, not allowing himself sufficient rest… goodness.

Ivy: Xeno is our main vocalist. The tune of our new song is rather difficult to perfect, so I guess there are various things he wants to check.

Rina: Is that so?

Hugh: Our new song… is the theme song for ‘Strange Game’...

Rina: Oh! That popular foreign drama series!?

Ivy: Yeah, the song was written because we received an offer.

‘Strange Game’, a foreign drama series whose theme song would be sung by exe Creed, was a super popular original drama airing worldwide.

The series was directed by a famous director who put in extravagant amounts of money into its production.

The scale of the production was shockingly large, and yet it didn’t seem like anything worth being surprised over to them.

Xeno training tirelessly from dusk till dawn was a “usual thing” for him, it had nothing to do with the scale of the projects he was involved in.

Ivy: There’s nothing we can do about it. We’ve told him time and time again to take breaks, but he just won’t listen.

Sakura: Being serious about work is a good thing, but not at the expensive of getting adequate rest.

The sighs of Sakura and Ivy echoed heavily through the living room.

…

… Late at night that day, I suddenly jolted awake.

(I unknowingly fell asleep while unpacking my luggage. As expected, all that nervousness tired me out.)

The guest room assigned to me was luxurious like a high-end hotel room.

(But I can’t seem to settle down…)

Alone in my bedroom, I felt my anxiety crushing down on me.

(Let me get my phone to check the news. Now that I think of it, I’ve been too busy to read it.)

(... Huh? It’s not here!)

I frantically searched through my bag, my top’s pocket, and every other possible location I could think of — my phone was nowhere to be seen.

(Did I drop it somewhere? I’ll go look for it!)

…

Not wanting to turn on the lights, I searched the living room for my phone in the dark.

(I can’t find it. What should I do? Let me think of where else it could be… the places I went to today were…)

(That’s right! I went to the lesson room today. I’ll go look over there…!)

…

When I arrived at the lesson room, I noticed a faint light coming from inside.

(Is someone in there?)

I gently opened the door and peeked inside.

(Is that Xeno? He’s still practising at this late hour? It’s been so many hours.)

Xeno: …

His eyes were glued to the phone in his hand.

(For a moment, I mistakenly thought it was my phone. It was his own phone.)

(His facial expression looks so serious… what’s going on?)

Right when I was about to lean in out of curiosity, the door made a creaking sound.

Xeno: !

… He immediately shot me a hostile look with his sharp eyes.

Xeno: You… what are you doing here?

Rina: Oh, I…

Xeno approached me with big steps.

Rina: Ah!?

He violently grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

Rina: … Ggh.

Xeno: What are you up to?

He asked in an icy tone. Unable to compete with his physical strength, there was no escape.

Rina: X-Xeno! Please let go of me.

(Why is he looking at me like this? He’s scaring me…!)

There was a never seen before powerful flame of emotion burning deep within his freezing cold eyes.

(... So this person is capable of having such strong emotions.)

I was initially terrified and wanted to escape… and yet, I was drawn to him again.

Xeno: Answer my question…!

His handsome face drew closer. All I did was hold my breath and stare at the cold yet passionate flame in his eyes…

#morganatic idol #morudoru #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #xeno main story #morudoru main story

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bigalockwood · 4 months

Text

August and Rousseau

I’ve outed myself as the #resident horse expert (thanks @youngroyalsconfession for the title I’m genuinely elated bc I’ve never gotten my own online moniker lmao) and I think it’s time that I contributed some more unasked for and useless horse knowledge to the YR discussion. This has been sitting in my drafts for ages and since I don’t see myself finding any time to research this further in the next few weeks, I thought I might as well post it before season 3 drops. Plenty of posts have been made about how the August-Rousseau situation could play out, and I don’t want to talk about those theories today, because I have anything to add right now.

As has been pointed out many times, horses are expensive, at least in western, industrialized countries. They used to be a necessity for most people, because they were a mode of transport, used to harvest food etc. This is still true in many parts of the world, but not Western and Northern Europe. There, horses have become a luxury, and are usually notoriously expensive, especially if you can’t keep them on your own grounds and produce your own hay. And even then- vet bills are painful to look at, and there are plenty of other costs, too. So, August most definitely won’t be able to pay for the monthly expenses that come with having a horse, at least not if he gets no financial aid by the court or doesn’t sell some of his assets. And even then, I’m not sure what they would say when they learn that they are financing a horse of all things (especially since August has zero interest in or knowledge of horses). In the following you can find a rough overview of just how expensive owning a horse is. Keep in mind, these numbers are generalized. I’m not from Sweden, but another European country, and even if I were, prices fluctuate a lot depending on the success of harvest, proximity to large cities, services offered by the stable, etc.… But maybe it can give those of you less familiar with horses a better idea of just how fucked August actually is.

Stable: this variable is already very hard to judge. You can find fairly cheap barns, but you usually have to do at least part of the work yourself, too (just imagine August mucking out Rousseau’s stall lmao). Feed is often included in the price, doesn’t cover any special needs, though (hay is included, but anything else you have to buy yourself). However, Hillerska is a prestigious school. They have a groom (our beloved Marcus) to take care of everything the owners don’t want to do (mucking out, feeding, taking horses out to the pastures and then back inside). You can find yourself with anywhere between 200- 600 Euros per month, depending on the services offered. Knowing what we do about Hillerska, you can expect the cost to be at the higher end.

The farrier should come every six to eight weeks and, again, costs depend on what work needs to be done. It can be anywhere between 50 Euro (bare hoof, only need to be trimmed) to close to 200 Euro (horse shoes for all four hooves). As long as Rousseau isn’t being exercised he’ll most likely only need a trim.

Insurance depends greatly on your horse and its value (it’s hinted that he is valuable in the show) but generally costs between 50 to 150 Euro per month where I’m from.

Vet costs (assuming your horse is healthy and you only need to get the recommended vaccinations and check-up’s as well as anthelmintics) will usually be around 400 Euros a year and can go way up, depending on whether your horse has any special needs. Rousseau seems to be healthy, so we’ll assume he only needs the bare minimum.

Based on what he definitely needs to buy/pay for, the annual cost would be somewhere between 3400 and 12.400 Euro. Which is a super rough estimate and doesn’t even cover any extra expenses (Rousseau most certainly doesn’t only eat hay but also other feed specifically for sport horses). A horse can easily cost up to 21.400 Euro per year. August saves some money because he doesn’t take any training sessions and thus doesn’t need to pay for a trainer. He could also lend Rousseau to the school and let other students ride him; a deal like that would reduce how much he needs to pay for the monthly care of Rousseau.

But either way: August has to pay between 295 and 1800 Euro per month. If he wasn’t struggling financially, he probably wouldn’t even notice such a “small” expense. As it is, he can’t even pay his own tuition. There’s no way he’ll be able to pay for a horse.

(Would also like to, again, state that this is extremely generalized; I just wanted to highlight how much a horse usually costs).

#young royals #august horn #rousseau #yr #young royals analysis #sorry for this weirdly specific niche topic?#talking shit for the hell of it

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yuurivoice · 6 months

Note

How have you been? Are you taking care of yourself and is the kitties doing okay and Haru how is the sweetie after the surgery?

Throughout the month of October while doubling my content output and going from being creatively idle to full speed ahead, I was going through the onboarding process of my ADHD medication. Half of the month was spent getting horribly tired in the afternoons. The other half was spent feeling gross as I tried to figure out how much I needed to eat with my food and adjusting to the final dosage.

Last week, for what may be the first time in my adult life, I was operating at what I can only assume was somewhere near 100% of what a neurotypical person feels like. I've cried about it, had to learn how to slow down because I'm used to the vehicle that is my brain not actually GOING when I put my foot on the gas, and have felt downright incredible.

I wrote my psychiatrist a message thanking her for being such a professional and helping me on this path, because I am approaching what I had assumed "best case scenario" would look like for me. I don't even know what's possible for me as I settle into my new normal. It's overwhelming in a positive way.

I feel like I have super powers. I'm able to just...do stuff. I begin my day and I just go. I'm fed, medicated, and ready to start being productive at 9am and I begin. I'm able to accomplish far more than the bare minimum and even have to tell myself to take time to do things that aren't strictly work.

I love writing again, and I was robbed of that nearly a decade ago. My beloved hobby became work, and while I've written things that I adore, I only rarely feel the magic I used to feel when I could write ~10k words in a day. INDEFINITELY!!!! I have written hundreds of thousands of words in my lifetime and I lost the ability to do what I loved. At a time in my life when I was desperate to find something that was meant for me, something I was good at, I lost it.

I thought I had simply fallen out of love. I thought my childish ambitions of being a writer were bled from me on the path to being a "real adult" and life had escorted me along the way, away from that passion.

I didn't know I was fighting against myself so much for so long. Being able to become YuuriVoice and create and find that outlet again was amazing for me and reminded me of what it used to feel like, but this whole time I've had to brute force my way through mental hurdles. I am proud of what I've accomplished to this point, knowing what challenges I've faced and battled along the way.

How do I feel? I feel like the me from a decade ago and the me of today bridged a rift so vast that I thought I'd never say hello to that part of me again, and now I'm whole. I feel whole. I'm no longer masquerading around as a cheap imitation of who I could have been.

So yeah, I'd say I'm doing well! So are the cats. Haru handled his neutering perfectly and is a happy, healthy boy. Aside from that, I've been consistently in the gym, trying to stick to my diet goals, and am the happiest, healthiest version of myself I've been in a long time!

If you've enjoyed the recent entries in Lost & Found, they've all be made while I've been feeling this good. So if that's a sign of things to come, I think we're about to remind people just how fuckin' hard we can go around these parts.

#yuurivoice

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thatfreshi · 8 months

Text

Muscle Memory (Uni AU P. 12)

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, drinking, slight mention of homophobia

That evening, after all of your friends have dispersed, after getting absolutely nothing done, you end up in Astarion's dorm. You're both sitting on his bed while he does your makeup, which he insisted upon. He complains every time you accidentally move or your eyelids twitch, but you know he doesn't actually care all that much.

"You know, you're the only person I've ever let in here."

You back away from his makeup brush.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't really like sharing my space with people. It's one of the only things I have that's truly mine, but I don't mind sharing it with you."

"Are you sure? Because we could always hang out in my dorm, or somewhere else."

"No, really, you're one of the only people I trust to be in here. You don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, you don't ask too many questions, you just exist here, like I do."

"I mean I'd never just look through your stuff. I feel like that's the bare minimum."

"You'd think so, but it gets to a point in a career like mine where nothing is really yours anymore."

At this point, Astarion has started on your face again, mindlessly talking.

"You said you started at sixteen right? Must've been hard, losing all that control so young."

"Well, I mean I didn't really have a choice. After all, I did get kicked out, and jobs for normal teenagers don't really cover the expenses of someone trying to be an adult already. Besides, I got in with a lot of disgusting agents, people who shouldn't have been involved with someone my age anyways."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Like I said, I did it to myself."

"You were just a kid though."

"Yeah, I guess I was."

The conversation goes silent for a moment as he grabs something else from his cosmetics bag.

"Why did you get kicked out, if you don't mind me asking?"

He raises an eyebrow slightly.

"Hm, no one ever actually asks me that. Then again, I guess I don't really tell anyone."

"I mean you don't have to tell me."

"No, no I don't mind. I came out, that's pretty much it. Funny when you're the star only child until you talk about liking men. I was miserable about it at the time, but I don't really care anymore. Besides, I have far too many other things to concern myself with."

He makes one more pass with a highlight, and then backs up to admire his work.

"There, you look wonderful my darling Tav. Perhaps you'll look more beautiful than all the exotic flowers you'll get to see tonight."

"You're sweet. Thank you, for all of this, for opening up to me. I know it hasn't been all that long, but you really are the best friend I've been looking for."

Astarion goes to respond, but is interrupted by his ringtone going off, interrupting the nice music he had playing. It's Cazador calling, Szarr's first name as he had told you a couple days ago. Apparently he thought his last name would sound better for the brand, and has everyone call him by it at all times, unless you're in his private inner circle. To your surprise, your pale friend declines the call.

"Did you just-"

"Yep. Not letting him ruin my night, I just can't right now. Besides, I have to make sure you're ready for this date."

"You can't-"

"What, just not pick up his call? I guess you're right. I've done it before though, and he'll simply send me some nasty voicemail. I'll get punished for it later I'm sure, but if he didn't do it to me, it would just be one of the other six. Better that I take the brunt of it."

"But why?"

"I've been working with him longest, I'm the most used to it. If I can deal with it, it's better that way. Being the scapegoat, it gives me some small way to protect the rest of them."

"You shouldn't have to though."

"Of course not, none of us should have to, but I'm just playing the hand I got dealt Tav. That's all any of us can do, especially when the house always wins."

"So what will you do, until you have to see him again I mean?"

"Oh, there's a fitting tomorrow morning. In the meantime? I'll probably go find a cheap place to get drunk, have sex with a stranger and try to forget. At least until tomorrow."

You nervously stare at your hands.

"Is that why you had sex with me that night? To forget?"

He looks off into the distance, trying to find that evening in his mind.

"I can't even remember. Maybe? Or maybe I was just scared. It's hard to say. It becomes easy after a while, to just offer up your body to strangers. Easier than other options at least. It's like muscle memory."

He then stands up, and offers you a hand to do the same.

"But anyways, enough about me. You have a suitor to go see, and I think he'll find you just ravishing."

Your eyes meet his, that reddish-brown not fully present with you.

"Just stay safe tonight, okay?"

"Oh darling, as if I'm ever truly safe. I'll try though, since you asked so nicely. Now, go on and get downstairs, or else you'll be late. Don't want to keep the handsome nature man waiting."

You thank him again for helping you get ready, giving him a tender hug, the kind that secretly makes him melt. And soon enough, you're out the door and downstairs, met with Halsin and a box of chocolates.

~~~

Astarion doesn't even have the energy at that point to clean up the scattered cosmetics across his sheets. He almost plays Cazador's voicemail, but instead turns his phone off and leaves it on the nightstand. Just like he said, he finds some bar that won't hurt his wallet too much, and drinks the night away, thinking about the possible strangers he could lose himself in. He tries to justify it, knowing that rolling around in the sheets with someone would make the thoughts go away, give him a break from the constant nagging in his head, but for some reason he just can't do it. In fact, he hasn't been able to force himself to sleep with anyone since that night in the diner parking lot. He'd never admit it, but he's been thinking about what you said that evening, how he was just someone trying to survive. And he secretly hopes you're right, that he hasn't truly tainted his soul, that somewhere deep down there's a good piece of him left. After all, he's pining after someone like you, someone who gave him the benefit of the doubt when he didn't deserve it, someone who is far better than him. At least that's what he believes, that even if he did tell you like Gale suggested, it wouldn't be enough. He wouldn't be enough for you, but maybe this Halsin character could be, and there's no way he'd deprive you of that chance.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #angst #freshiau #halsin

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vera-deville · 8 months

Text

Vera's Hauntober 2023

Day 13 - Bat (Malleus Draconia)

10/14/2023

Pairing: Malleus Draconia x Reader

Word Count: 870

Warnings: None that I can think of (except for a few curses)!

Gender: GN

Taglist: @animusicnerd, @leonistic, @pyroxeene, @savanaclaw1996, @thequeenoffishburrito, @ellssbellss, @reshi-galaxy, @hanafubukki, @hitoshislover, @purplecandything, @it-happened-one-fic

For once, Y/N had the time (and budget) to clean up their dorm. Ramshackle was in terrible shape. Everyone knew that.

But very few knew just how bad the living conditions could get. The first night Y/N went to sleep at Ramshackle, they'd cried themselves to sleep. There was a constant draft, they only had the clothes on their body from when they fell into the world, there were cobwebs everywhere, and their allergies had a field day.

Eventually though, it did get somewhat better. After raising concerns about their ability to survive in such conditions to multiple of the school faculty, they were able to make a room for themselves (plus it had an ensuite bathroom), and before they knew it, they didn't feel so lost and lonely anymore.

However...

That was no excuse for the rest of their dorm to remain as unsightly and dilapidated as it was. After months of doing odd jobs anywhere and everywhere, raising fundraisers, demanding payment from the headmaster for all the things he'd make them do, and a bunch of other things, Y/N finally had enough money to freshen up the whole place (plus the spring break they wished to utilize was finally here).

Of course, it was to be a process that would take a week at bare minimum, as Ramshackle, though in terrible condition, was a rather large dorm in and of itself. The first thing Y/N would have to do was dust the whole place down (they really regretted not asking Malleus to help them with that part in particular). Then, they'd have to move the boxes and whatnot and throw out whatever wasn't necessary anymore.

Grim was sent to Heartslabyul for the day, and Riddle had assured Y/N that he would take the utmost care of the very unwilling feline.

Thus, the first day of dusting (and some other cleaning) had gone by, and all that was left to finish cleaning were the attic rooms. It was slow progress, but progress nonetheless. Besides, they'd just have to pull through for a few more hours, after which they'd be joined by their four favorite boys from Diasomnia to help them.

"There you guys are!" Y/N, as the large box they were carrying was lifted out of their arms and into another's. They met with Malleus' face, one that exuded joy, before meeting with the others' faces. Lilia had his signature boyish smirk and Silver, though tired, did sport a gentle grin. Sebek wasn't looking at them (why would he when Malleus had entrusted him with a box), but that wasn't something that bothered them.

"I apologize for arriving so late Darling," Malleus responded.

"Nah, it's fine. I was doing fine by myself."

"Now that we are here, you will be more than fine!"

Lilia snorted off to the side.

To reward everyone for all their hard work and to show their appreciation, Y/N made some cool lemonade (their own personal recipe) and brought it up to the attic, where they last left everyone.

Except there was no one there.

Figuring that they'd all gone out of the room to either get rid of or retrieve something, Y/N leaned to place the tray of lemonade on a resting box. But there was this feeling that kept nagging at them. It felt like someone was watching them. Holding the tray back closer to their chest, Y/N looked around the room, out the window, and out the room's door. There wasn't a soul in sight apart from them.

Trying to shrug the unmistakable feeling, they turned around, walking towards the box to set down the lemonade (that was starting to take a toll on their arms from carrying around for so long).

And that's when they heard it.

A chitter.

Everything happened so fast after that.

One second, they turn their head towards the clearly animal sound, intent on finding the source, when a black flash flew straight at their face. They could have sworn that the thing had red eyes, but that wasn't Y/N's priority, as they were currently falling in slow motion, backwards, with the lemonade tilting towards their direction.

Shit.

The crash seemed to bring everyone back to life, because soon after it occurred, Malleus, Silver, and Sebek were bolting it towards the source of it, only to find Y/N laying on the ground, drenched in some liquid.

That and Lilia sitting next to their face in his bat form, poking their face.

Malleus wasted no time in cradling Y/N under his arms and shaking them out of whatever shock they were in. "Darling? Darling! Wake up!"

Sebek leaned on the other side of Y/N with a towel and started helping them dry off.

"I just saw a demon."

Silver couldn't help but let out a giggle, hearing the Ramshackle prefect say such a thing.

"That was just Father."

Confused, Y/N looked at him for an explanation. Yet, there was none. Silver simply pointed behind them, and that's when they noticed the bat. Something about it seemed eerily familiar, and that's when it hit them.

Red eyes.

Yeah, they were so going to kill Lilia.

Author's Note: You're gonna pretend that this fic totally wasn't a day late got it? 👀

Also, it should not have been as hard as it was finding a bat header-

See you in the next fic!

Masterlist Hauntober 2023 Masterlist

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anewkindofme · 5 months

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What’s the argument that Dean is more of a mom than Sam’s father, if I may ask? Sorry, I just gush over character interpretations from other users!!

I think Dean radiates maternal energy vs paternal. This does go back into the basic gender roles that are set long ago, but I think for the time that Dean and Sam were growing up, it translates. When Dean gets into Mary's head he says...

For 4 years, Dean grew up with both parents. We see in the "road to heaven" episode that John would often disappear for a couple of days, leaving Mary alone with the boys. Therefore, she was the one cooking meals, comforting them when they were hurt or sick, doing the most care for Sam.

Of course, fathers can (and should) do these things. However, I find it interesting that Dean says he had to be both mom and dad. Because the Winchester family fell into those matriarchal and patriarchal roles. And in these dynamics, the mom is almost always the true superhero. The one who makes the magic. Maybe some aren't working or the primary breadwinner, but they're the ones that get shit done. They're the real ones shaping the kids. Which is just what Mary did.

Dean stepped up into her shoes. Not John's. We have several references and even see him feeding Sam. Fixing him up when he's hurt (the knock knock jokes). Making sure he got to bed, did his homework, etc. He made the magic and raised Sam into the man he was. John would step in and help at certain points. But as John writes in his own diary (which I've only read excerpts of), he wasn't the one raising him.

Dean was extremely parentified. But he was pushed into the role that the family was suddenly lacking. While I believe John was a better father before Mary died, he was still not very present. He was there to play with the kids and provide. But not do the day to day. Dean says "it (Mary & John's marriage) was only perfect after she died". Telling us that things weren't great. Dean romanticized it so Sam wouldn't hate John more than he already did and so he'd have an image of a "perfect family to cling to". When Mary died, John needed a mother for Sam as well as a father to patch up the holes as he didn't have it in him to do the bare minimum anymore.

There's also hints in the "road to heaven" episode that Dean was already parentified back then. He comforts his mother (and as this is a memory, we know this isn't just Adult!Dean trying to comfort her). Sam says Dean was cleaning up John's messes from Day 1. I don't think it was to the extent that it'd become, but even from a young age, Dean was acting as the husband Mary needed. Then she died and he became the wife John needed.

I hope I'm explaining myself well. Because I'm sure this can come across as a misogynistic point of vew. As I said, men should do all of these things day to day. And now, in 2024, there have been leaps and bounds of fathers doing all the mothers do.

But Dean was born in 1979. Sam came along in 1983 and Mary died the same year. Things were different during this time. Fathers weren't taking on these roles.

I don't think Sam thinks too hard about what role Dean took on. He's just a second parent. But clearly, Dean recognizes that he took on that motherhood role. Because that's what the family needed. It shouldn't have fallen on him, but it did.

Thanks for listening to my rambles! I hope they make sense, haha.

#parentification #deansam #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #anti john winchester #spn #supernatural #anon asks #asked and answered

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punsmaster69 · 7 months

Text

9/NOV/20XX

jeez.

today was... real, real busy.

went and talked to a bunch of mental-assessment doctors, about a lot of different stuff.

and i'm........

real, real tired.

the kind of tired that has someone sigh a lot.

(if that makes sense at all.)

pretty sure if i sit here thinking just barely too long i'll be out like a light in an instant.

keeping my word on paps' guidelines, there's still the whole

'don't keep convincing yourself to keep writing!'

thing, so i'll try to keep it short.

besides, i don't wanna share everything about today.

all this...

it's good for me, i know.

but it's a hell of a lotta work.

and doing a lot of work isn't exactly my thing.

especially not for myself.

...y'know,

that kinda thought's something the docs talked with me about today.

"no active plans on dying."

"i've got some folks to live for; a bro to take care of."

"gonna stick around as long as i can for 'em."

"What about you?"

"That's someone to live for too."

feels like it's not the first time i've been told that.

and definitely not the last time i'm

there's better things to think about.

...

ok, first thing on my mind, go:

tori

ok, second thing on my mind, go:

the dog who's taking off with something in it's mouth.

...

whatever that dog's got has paps chasing after it.

"DON'T JUST SIT THERE!!"

he ran off before i could ask what it even grabbed.

....

not a lot i want to write about.

there is a lot of sleeping i wanna do, however.

this page's not real long, is it?

guess i did say "even if it's the bare minimum".

it's hard, thinking of something else to think about..

i'll have to think it over.

#journal #undertale #sans

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captmickey · 1 month

Note

Protective prompt 20, with Guybrush and pregnant Elaine? Like when she’s really close?

Okay, one more time. Guybrush thought, flipping through his notebook of a checklist of the things he needed before the baby arrived.

It was… a rather long checklist, the more he looked through it for what felt like the hundredth time. In fact, not only did it look like it was a list that was made for someone of higher ranking, the edges of the paper looked worn from the amount of times Guybrush had flipped back and forth through the pages. Someone (mainly Guybrush) would think he would have memorized the list by now.

One would think that, because of this, he was prepared for the arrival and yet… yet he felt even more unready.

For every two he remembered, a dozen other things he would forget and immediate panic would settle in him and would not leave until the matter was resolved. This had been going on easily during the last– no, that was a lie. It had been going since the start of the pregnancy. Sleep had become non-existent as he scrambled to make sure everything was taken care of… especially now on the supposed last month.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Okay, one more time: ship is docked, all the things for the delivery were ready, house was…

Guybrush looked around the currently mid-renovated home. There was still some construction that was needed for the kitchen, the main living room, and pretty much everywhere else. All of the furniture was here, he just had yet to properly place said furniture in the rooms they’re supposed to go to, such as how the main bedroom had the bed set up, but the closet and nightstands were not… built.

He flicked back and forth with the pencil before finding unchecked the closet needing to be made and clothes folded away. How all three needed to be done.

Three…

No longer just two.

No longer just one.

Guybrush stared at the paper and decided his next project of the day was making sure his soon-to-be-born child’s room was, at the very least, set up. After that, he’ll work on Elaine’s stuff and then he’ll focus on his own. He’ll stay up again if he needs to, he convinced himself, it’s fine. Elaine was due any day now and he was absolutely adamant that he was going to take care of everything.

He made his way upstairs to the nursery, still trying to process that this was a permanent home of his and not a temporary one when he heard the tired exhale coming from the room. Raising a brow, he walked in and found Elaine kneeling on the floor, folding up the clothes and blanket and such.

“Elaine?” He called out. “What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be on bedrest.”

“I got bored.” She admitted. “And figured you could use some help.”

“No, c’mon… you don’t need to do that.” Guybrush bent down. “I told you I got this.”

“I know, and I remember… but it’s not fair that you do everything.” Elaine said.

“I’m doing the bare minimum. You, however, are doing everything.” He pointed at her stomach. “And all the books say–”

“That I need rest, yes, I know.” She sighed. “Believe me, I know… I’ve only heard that for what? Nine months now?”

“Give or take.” He gave a sheepish smile before dropping it slowly. “Please, you need rest. If anything happened, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.”

“And you think I’ll be able to rest knowing you haven’t slept throughout the whole thing? Don’t go about thinking I haven’t noticed you sneaking off at night or the reading-into-the-morning habit you’ve been developing.”

“I thought I was subtle.”

“Being pregnant somehow made my senses sharper.”

“Really? None of the books said–”

Elaine just raised a brow and Guybrush quickly lowered his head, a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“A-anyways…” he cleared his throat, “you shouldn’t be moving around so much. Especially now.”

“You don’t need to push yourself so hard, you’ve already gone above and beyond for all of us. You managed to rebuild an entire home from nothing, learned probably the most about pregnancies than most pirates and made sure I was taken care of. And I get that you’re nervous… as am I, but we’re a team, remember? We’re always going to look after one another.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “And I say that you of all people need to rest. You haven’t gotten a wink of sleep… it’s all over your face.”

He placed a hand over her’s and slowly exhaled, feeling the exhaustion creeping over his eyes.

“You’re right… I know you’re right.” He said quietly, looking at her fondly. “You’re always right.”

“Give or take a few scenarios.” She smiled.

“Give or take.”

Before either of them could say anything else, Elaine hissed in discomfort, quickly letting go of him and holding her stomach. Her brows furrowed and she lowered her head.

“E-Elaine?!” He gasped, quickly placing his own hands on Elaine, unsure if to move her or have her lay down. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

“I-I’m fine… I’m fine… been having some… discomfort this morning. Carla said you had the doctor on standby and he said that this was perfectly normal.” She reassured.

“Discomfort… doctors….?” Guybrush muttered.

And then he stopped.

And his eyes widened.

And suddenly he was very much alert and awake when he saw her give a slight smile and knew entirely what she was referring to.

“Is it happening now?!” He asked, “Oh crud… I, okay… okay okay okay this is fine I just… uumm…”

“Guybrush.” Elaine spoke up, taking deep breaths. “It’s fine. Even your books said this was fine, remember?”

“Yeah.. yeah but–” he shook his head. “Alright, lets head back and… and we’ll figure things out there.”

“I like that idea. And you resting will be one of those things.”

He gave a nervous laugh.

“Right.” Guybrush said. “Alright.”

#monkey island #mickey writes #the ship that literally sails itself #AND THATS THAT ON THAT!!

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