#i have no good experience with men

[transmascissues]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response #because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off #like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to #in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it #idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows #also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you #and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar? #anon hate #ask answered #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men

[eifaen]

Happy International Asexuality day!!

#i am ace and i didnt know this was a thing?? aksgjhsffsh #anyway here have alastor #im not good w drawing men but i have abit of experience w this man #my art #hazbin hotel #alastor #international asexuality day #asexual #ace

[pocketsizedquasar]

TPOC-Prioritized writings on anti-transmasculinity / transandrophobia

transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity are both theories that have been spearheaded primarily by trans poc, particularly Black transmascs and transfemmes.

unfortunately, as with Everything created by queer and trans poc, particularly Black queer ppl, white trans ppl (regardless of gender, and regardless of whether they "believe" in this form of oppression or not) have coopted these theories and dominated these conversations, such that both "sides" of the "discourse" are divorced entirely from the racial connotations in which these theories were created, and the ways in which they were created specifically as an intervention against white feminism, and to highlight the ways multiple marginalizations affect the marginalization of masculinity. these are theories that explicitly interact with and can only be understood in conjunction with transmisogyny, as well as other oppressions like racism and misogynoir.

*"anti-transmasculinity" as a term and theory was coined by Black trans folks (some of whom's writings are linked below), and is specifically a theory within the context of Black transfeminism antiBlackness, and transmisogynoir, and cannot be divorced from that context. i try be very intentional about my use of the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' and 'transandrophobia' in different places here, because i do not want to dilute the former’s very particular context.

anyway, here's a list of miscellaneous writings on the subjects, with a priority for collecting writing from trans poc (not all of the authors are tpoc, but this list was intended to prioritize tpoc voices). the intention of this is not to be a be-all end-all on the subject, nor exalt any one of these individuals or pieces as exclusively ~correct~ or whatever, but to combat the whitewashed nature of these discussions online, and raise awareness to the myriad of people speaking on this subject. (nor do i claim to speak for any of them, or claim that any of them speak for me. i tried to make sure i didn't platform blatant racists, zionists, transmisogynists, or other bigots, but i'm not pretending to be 100% accurate about that.)

they aren't in any particular order (except the first one, which i think is an extremely foundational text for anti-transmasculinity theory as delineated by its creators, within the context of antiblackness and transmisogyny, and necessary reading to understand anti-transmasculinity as a theory). I tried to group all the links from the same authors together.

This is a non-exhaustive list! I will likely come back and add more writings as I find them. please feel free to recommend to me any works to include (including your own! especially if you yourself are a Black trans person or a trans POC).

Now with an Archived Read-more Link!

Racial-Class Paternalism and the Trojan Horse of Anti-transmasculinity by Nsámbu Za Suékama. if you read nothing else from this list, read this.

“But even as TME struggles escape the mainstream imagination, they persist, and are often both fueling and being fueled by the war on trans women and transfeminine people. Nothing makes this clearer than in how a Western binary system triangulates that war with Anti-transmasculinity. This is why I say that Anti-transmasculinity is a Trojan horse for Transmisogyny. Like the wooden horse in the Greek myth, it might not seem like what it is, for its actual contents and character are invisible, but at the heart of it, there is a violent campaign going on that is key to how the West aims to lay seige to its civilizational "enemies." And, like the walls of the city of Troy, materialist transfeminism has fortified the opposition to Western domination, in such a way that to overcome the stronghold requires a new strategy for the Man, one that follows up the open and vicious attacks on TMA people with a different, more hidden form of warfare.”

“today’s gender paternalism frames any manhood and masculine embodiment outside of (western) cisheteronormativity as not just biologically illegitimate but also the result of a barbaric threat to civilization. And who typically figures as the face of that barbarism but the Black trans woman? Materialist transfeminism has to theorize Anti-transmasculinity.”

"Non-Men", maGes, and Black Masculinities by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

One such argument, which is really a collection of arguments but can be consolidated into one, is that trans men are attempting to take a place alongside cis men in the hierarchy of patriarchy. In other words, while they may not have been so before naming themselves as trans men, they are aspiring to be oppressors. This employs a number of rhetorical devices that I have identified before including the idea that trans men are “betraying” cis womanhood and therefore should be seen as threats unless they act as footsoldiers for transmisogyny. The problem with this is that it treats trans manhoods as embodiments that exist as something which merely aspires to be cis manhood.

"For Those Seeking Fight or Flight: Black Trans*feminist Nihilism" / primer on transmisogynoir by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman (not about anti-transmaculinity specifically (though it does come up), but a very good + important read on Black transfeminism & transmisogynoir, so I'm including it)

anti-transmasculinity needs its own theorizing outside of general "transphobia" by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

anti-transmasculinity & antiblackness inherently linked (& another) both by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez

a thread master post linking to multiple threads about anti transmasculinity by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

a thread on anti-transmasculinity as an epistemic injustice (translated) originally by magicspeedwagon in French; English translation by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Girlboy Boygirl Blues - antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

"irl we just kiss" - ‘transmasc vs transfem’ discourse & reactionary ‘boys vs girls’ politics in trans spaces by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmascs & being treated as predatory by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmasc mental health statistics by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

violent anti-transmasculine hate crimes by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

thread on examples of systemic anti-transmasculinity by magicspeedwagon

a thread on anti-transmasculinity and its erasure by storyjunkie

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny and the degendering of Black people by afrodykee

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny cannot be theorized in opposition to each other by afrodykee

white transfeminism's anti-transmasculinity by afrodykee

Black trans people & erasure of TPOC voices from the trans community by thatspookyagent

transmasculine nonwhite expereince by thatspookyagent

trans men being silenced by thatspookyagent

queer POC being pushed out of conversations by thatspookyagent

cis women's harm to trans men by novascotioducktoller w/ addition about TMOC by thatspookyagent

medical violence in anti transmasculinity by Caleb / sethpuertoluna

example of medical anti transmasculinity by Dominick / transguyenergy

response to inclusion of a trans man in an ad (thread) by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity around periods by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity towards pregnant trans men by Dominick / transguyenergy

transitioning as a transmasc of color by gendercriminals

white (cis) women & racist transandrophobia by dead-lavender-society

transandrophobia as an indigenous trans man by petrichorvoices

examples of transandrophobia by transvermin

the “lost lesbian” narrative & antitransmasculinity by vaguefiend

cis women & transandrophobia by vaguefiend

intersectionality & transandrophobia by visible-schizo-spectrum

more transandrophobia from cis women by cock-holliday

tl;dr : there’s LOTS of theory and discussions out there abt anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, how these things relate to other forms of transphobia, how it interacts with other marginalizations, most especially race, and the ways in which it affects transmascs. this information is everywhere. it’s out there. y’all (white ppl) are just refusing to engage with it.

#trans #lgbtq #queer #transphobia #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisogyny #racism #long post #quasartalks #been compliling this for ages but i think it's finally at a point where i feel comfortable posting it #like i said though it is very much subject to change! i would love to add more things to this #it is extremely shitty that discussions on antitransmasculinity and transandrophobia have been dominated on here by racist yt ppl and their #token trans poc that they so clearly are just using as a shield against when ppl call them out on aforementioned racism. #anyway. dont bother clowning on this post i will just block <3 #so much of this 'discourse' boils down to: transmascs and trans men (esp transmascs of color) saying: 'hey i experience this thing' #and other ppl (esp white ppl!) going 'no you don't.' it's so blatant lmao #it's just the complete denial of our Authority to talk about our own experiences. we are not trusted to be authorities on our own lives. #which. where have i heard that before. smells like racism. smells like misogyny. #also bc ppl can't read: none of this means transmascs have it worse than transfemmes; that transfemmes oppress transmascs; or that these #-experiences ONLY happen to transmascs. those are all extremely bad faith readings of these discussions. #AND ALSO to the (especially white) transmascs who also can't read and take these discussions as excuses to be racist & transmisogynist: #we cannot combat transandrophobia & anti transmasculinity without combating transmisogyny. they are linked. #anyway. good night

[canisalbus]

My aunt is very sensitive to strong scents (buys my deodorant so that we know it won't harm her, because other than a couple brands, they give her migraines, we don't have scented candles, and I have a couple of perfumes, but I never wear them), so we're super careful there, but we also can't go into some stores because the perfume counter is Right There. When we go shopping, she knows to look for me in the candle aisle because I'll stand there sniffing each candle and giving a review to whoever is with me at the time

.

#sounds like we'd probably have good time sniffing candles together #answered #anonymous #yeah the perfume counter is a hell of it's own #I live in a relatively small city so I can only think of one single shop that has a dedicated perfume section #so at least those are easy for me to avoid personally #I used to hate perfumes because the only ones I ever had experiences with were the fruity floral candy smells marketed for women #and the obnoxious overbearing alpha man perfumes for men #there's a lot of variation and interesting combinations if you venture outside the highest selling most strongly gendered mainstream ones #I stubbornly kept testing various ones until I figured out what notes and types of scents I like #and I feel like I have established a pretty reliable pattern #but I understand it's not for everyone and I genuinely try my best to avoid offending people's noses #my favorite thing is to put some on in the evening after I've taken a shower but before I go to bed #just for myself to enjoy for a couple hours

[sensitivesiren]

listen, i LOVE all of the Destiel fics i've read (hundreds) and i LOVED the dcbb of 2014 but something is missing since then - we NEED more fics that include the fact in s9, Metatron gave Castiel his knowledge of - essentially - EVERYTHING EVER WRITTEN AND FILMED prior to 2014/2015. I need him to know kama sutra, casa erotica, bdsm, enemies to lovers, "the pizza man" on an UNGODLY intelligent level.

#oh god #cas #where did you learn that #don't worry i've seen this before #ill take good care of you #just lay back #LORD #many many pizza men #spn #destiel #supernatural #classicmeg #edit: i meant to put this in drafts but hit post so here we are enjoy #tipsy posting #nightblogging #and then him trying so hard to impress and please #cas you don't need to do all of that #just be you #but i have no technical experience #the data shows that if i do this then - #cas it's okay #i just want you to be here #with me #just you

[meduseld]

But also something so ! about how John Irving, the character with most faith thus most faith to be tested, is the one to find the salvation, the divine providence, the literal manna in the desert, of Koveyook and his party, taking it in with humility and gratitude is just. Irving really did get to see a form of God in the way William Blake wrote it:

“I sought my God and my God I couldn't find; I sought my soul and my soul eluded me; I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three; My God, my soul, and thee.”

#the poles really are deserts by definition btw as it relates to precipitation #at the end he had a religious experience and i have feelings #john irving #lieutenant irving #the terror #the terror amc #the truth of faith i guess is just love and looking out for each other and not imposing some colonial mandate on each other #is the point of terror #it's the land of another god well gods but the principle of faith and what john would have called christian charity is still good #which is supposed to be the highest form of love #signifying the reciprocal love between God and man that is made manifest in unselfish love of one's fellow men. #and in his last moments john finally got to truly understand that in a whole new and actually true way

[anonymouspuzzler]

catching feelings, part 2 (part 1)

[Image IDs/transcripts under the cut!]

A seven-page, black-and-white Psychonauts fancomic based on Puzz's "Cally O'Pia" AU.

PAGE 1: There are three square panels, of increasing size, arranged diagonally from the top left of the page. Cally O'Pia (an AU version of Loboto), is asleep on his stomach on a simple futon mattress. He is wearing a sleeveless sweater, flower-patterned pants, large round glasses like his childhood self, and shaggy shoulder-length hair with a flower tucked over his right ear. The panels show him gradually waking up and sitting up.

PAGE 2: There are six panels, the first of which is a full-page spread, showing Cal is stepping off of a ladder propped against the wall. In the background is a couch, several bottles and cans scattered on the floor, decorative wall drapery and a wall-mounted shelf displaying several books and a teddy bear. The second panel shows Cal walking into the kitchen to find Oleander hunched over the counter, eating a piece of toast, looking surprised to see Cal. There is a plate with toast and scrambled eggs in front of him, and off to the side is a cup of coffee in a mug with a fish decoration. The rest of the panels show Oleander, looking somewhat anxious. PANEL 3: (Oleander wipes his face with one arm) "Uh. Hey. Morning. Sorry for using your kitchen." PANEL 4: (Oleander glances off to the side grimacing, rubbing his arm anxiously) "I was, uh. Super hungover. So I made like. Coffee and eggs and stuff." PANEL 5: (Beat. Oleander, still rubbing his arm, glances in Cal's direction.) PANEL 6: (Oleander rubs the back of his head anxiously, glancing away) "Do you. Want some." (Cal, in the foreground, grins back) "Yea sure"

PAGE 3: There are two panels, arranged diagonally from the top left and slightly overlapping. The first shows two plates of scrambled eggs and toast, and two steaming coffee mugs, with Cal and Oleander's hands each holding one. The second shows them both leaning against the counter sipping coffee - Oleander in front with the fish mug, blushing and looking off to the side; Cal, smiling, off to the right side, with a rounded mug with a wavy brim, patterned with flowers and a bee. There is a mostly-empty plate next to Oleander, and one next to Cal that still has a pile of eggs and a slice of toast.

PAGE 4: There are eight panels arranged in two rows, paired into groups of two panels cutting between Oleander and Cal speaking. Oleander: (lowering his coffee mug, blushing and glancing off to the side) "So. Uh. I've been thinking." Cal: (grinning and raising an eyebrow, lowering his coffee mug) "No kidding? That's a new one for you. Somethin' specific or just practicing?" Oleander: (grimacing and placing his right hand on his face) "Very funny, jackass. ...I was... I was thinkin' about, uh. About last night." Cal: (looking surprised, blushing and sweating with a shaky grin) "Oh." Oleander: (dragging his hand down his face, looking nervous) "Yeah. It's- ...yeah. I mean... I know we were just really drunk, but I..." Cal: (folding his hands in front of him and leaning forward with a lovestruck look, hearts floating around him) "Uh-huh?" Oleander: (close-up on his face, biting his lip, blushing, running his hand back to rub the back of his head) "I... do you think that we... I mean... can we..." (close-up on Cal looking lovestruck, biting his lip, blushing and sweating, with hearts all around him.)

PAGE 5: There are two panels, one of which is a full-page spread taking up the majority of the page. There are two large word bubbles from an offscreen Oleander, reading: "Can we forget the whole thing. Just like- pretend nothing happened and act totally normal." The background behind Cal is black with a shattering effect, with a large broken heart next to him; he is sitting with a tight, closed-mouth smile, looking visibly taken aback. The second panel is small in the bottom right, showing Cal, looking deflated, with his arms folded on the counter and a shaky, forced grin, saying: "Yeah. Sure thing".

PAGE 6: There are four panels, the first of which is a full-page spread showing Oleander and Cal standing in the living room. There is a couch behind them with a throw blanket over the back, decorative drapery, beads and photos on the wall, and several bottles and cans littering the floor around them. Oleander pulls on his jacket, staring at the litter, while Cal stands next to him, visibly tense, holding one arm and grinning tightly. Oleander: "Geez. Uh. Are you sure you don't want help cleaning up?" Cal: "NOPE ALL GOOD HERE" Oleander: "All right. See you at work?" Cal: "UH HUH". The second panel shows the outside of Cal's house, with rough vertical wood paneling, an open doorway with decorative drapery and beads, and a long horizontal window to the left. Oleander is walking off into the foreground, looking back over his shoulder to wave goodbye to Cal, who is leaning against the doorway with a grin and waving back. The third panel shows him continuing to stand there, arms folded and expression tight, after Oleander has gone, and the fourth shows him having collapsed face-down on the ground.

PAGE 7: There is a single drawing of Oleander walking, swinging his arms wildly, on an otherwise empty page. He is staring down at the ground with an anxious expression and shaky grin, blushing furiously. There are hearts all around him, and he thinks: "God damn it."

#anonymous puzzler art #long post / #tw alcohol mention #morceau oleander #caligosto loboto #psychonauts #i hope you all like cally o'pia au and these guys' Consistently Fucked Relationship!! Yahoo!! #(oleander's still coming to terms with the whole 'publicly being attracted to men' thing) #(meanwhile openly bisexual cal is doing Super Normal with having an actual crush making him experience Emotional Vulnerability) #(they're doing sooooooo good)

[samarecharm]

i love makoto so much but fanon does her so much better (the good parts of the fandom) because in the game her character is so lack luster. they butchered her confidant it is so borning and not even about her. they made her a cop. A COP. they pushed this "canon waifu" role onto her (before sumire came along and did it Even Worse). and it SUCKS because SHE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! SHE IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! SHE COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER!!! the way i feel about canon makoto is the same way i feel about the canon ryuji events post komoshida where he's horribly mistreated and used purely as comic relief: i ignore them <3 my game now <3 never happened <3 my ocs <3

You are so right. I generally apply this to all characters in p5 bc the game does such a shit job of staying consistent with character arcs and personalities. Theres a desperate need to throw in perverse jokes at the expense of female characters and a need to show that the police (as a whole) are reliable people who are not influenced by things like money and power; only the BAD cops do that. Not to mention this obvious fatphobia and homophobia but i feel likes thats a given.

But back to Makoto. Shes a victim of bad writing just like everyone else. Ryuji during the kamoshida arc was fighting with self loathing and genuine anxiety, and aside from the like. One comment on Panthers outfit in the metaverse, hes more than well behaved. All of that is shelved as soon as Kamoshida is gone and replaced with him being weird comic relief (and the focus of alot of sexual jokes that were nonexistent in the beginning of the game). Anns arc about self love and empowerment is completely dropped as soon as the nasty bad guy is put away (so that its good to be weird about her w the Good Guys). Makoto loses her a chunk of her personality to be the mature waifu which is INSANE to me bc shes like. Not okay or normal at all 😭😭😭 she THINKS shes responsible and so does everyone else on her team, but its an act! She doesnt know shit! And she doesnt know that she doesnt know shit bc shes respectful and adults dont care about anything as long as u respect them!

Its very telling that for literally every single thief (and goro), you can see the exact moment the writers gave up on adding anything of worth to their characters outside of the social links. Its like they didnt know what to even do w the characters at their disposal after their main arcs were complete. No mention of friends hanging out without you, no mention of having group hangouts. Everyone is treated as a core, important member of the friend group DURING their arc, but outside of it, they are acquaintances at best. Theres nothing in the game that convinces you that these guys are legitimately friends who care for each other and do Friend Things. And i describe it like that bc there IS a game that treats them all as friends, and its strikers! Strikers/Scramble genuinely feels like the game p5 wanted to be; a road trip w your team where they stay up at night talking to each other and hanging out and doing things together that dont necessarily include you, the player. Its refreshing and lovely but it sucks that u get that kind of attention to detail in a ‘spinoff’ title

#chattin #i hesitate to use spinoff bc its a pretty big game #and theres an amazing plot with wonderful characterization #and their handling of jails and jail owners is LEAGUES better than the bs they tried to make up w palace users #and all the thieves feel like family. and not in the annoying fandom way; like #were family in the same way a family is forged and tended to. i love you. no one is left behind. no one is made to feel inferior another #its really good and honestly if u want more interactions between everyone i really recommend a playthrough #but yeah #p5 sucks #i love it but i love the version of it i made in my head LMAO #maybe p5r did a better job w the dialogue and some questionable scenes #(i wouldnt know. i didnt play it lol) #so maybe thats what people need to be using as a point of reference #but i only plyed p5 so this is what i have; a group of people who show up for meetings and then go about their life #and that kinda sucks. why make this wholly unique experience in which these teens can only relate to each other #make them bonded over their shared experience w this unbelievable world #and then not only make them NOT interact; but have the end be ‘okay by akira.’ and leave it at that #they just. didnt know what to do w anyone #they needed their girls to be waifubait and the boys to be an afterthought #they needed a buffet of older woman for pathetic men to fuck through their self insert #and they needed a story convoluted enough to keep people stuck trying to figure it out themselves #its bad. its so bad. its so fucking bad. but i have to be here. WE have to be here. #bc who else is going to take these characters out of hell and treat them right ??!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

I'm going to be real, I think people (particularly neurotypical people) really fail when they see disordered eating as solely a behaviour when it isn't just that (and usually they assume the behaviour can only be restricted eating). Disordered eating is as much a frame of thinking as it is a "behaviour".

I say this is a failure because people are struggling, and they aren't receiving help they need because they're not seen as "eating disordered". The mindset that leads to somebody developing the behaviours associated with disordered eating is - in my experience - absolutely life-ruining and devastating. It genuinely feels like a huge part of your soul has shriveled up and vanished. When you see disordered eating as a behaviour, you are fundamentally not understanding what these issues tend to be, and how they arise.

This is so, so especially important for people who don't "look" the way society expects. For instance, the number of men I see absolutely destroyed by these thoughts, feelings, and compulsions is really almost astonishing. We need to do better for everybody - everybody deserves the help they want and need.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #disordered eating #disordered eating tw #eating disorder tw #ed tw #(and no this wasn't me saying men have it the worst but that it was an example of what i meant) #(a HUGE reason i go to the gym alone and never EVER follow fitness influencers is because they seem to be in a disordered mindset) #(and i do not think that is an indication that they are a Bad Person but that they are not in a good way and i can't be part of that) #nobody struggling with this is a Bad Person - they are simply human and they deserve to be seen and treated as such #i just have A Lot of feelings and thoughts about this #it is absolutely soul-crushing to be AFRAID of food... #...and like ime it's almost... worse than the physical aspects sometimes #(though again that's just in my experience and i'm not an authority or expert)

[cloudbends]

[ID: a digital drawing of lain iwakura from the series "serial experiments lain", depicted sitting in her room at night from a high angle, as different electronic lights illuminate the otherwise entirely dark room. She's depicted wearing her signature white nightgown, surrounded by computers, piles of routers, glowing monitors and cables, as she connects two cables together. The hour, as appears on a watch on the PC in front of her glowing in green, is 2:01 AM. end ID.]

Late night wiring.

#sel #serial experiments lain #lain iwakura #90s anime #I rewatched this show a year ago and has been rotating in my brain ever since. it is so fucking good fr #anyways i may have gone a little insane. this shit took TIME. #well i got sick of working on it so im posting. fuck it <3 never doing backgrounds again #as the wise men say #lets all love lain #ALSO TURN UP THE BRIGHTNESS FOR THIS IF UR NOT MOBILE. this was made and posted on desktop sorry #vi draws

[cactusflowerfemme]

“My wife is actually for repealing the 19th amendment and thinks other women should be too” is such a red flag. Is she though. Does she really.

(For my non-American followers, the 19th amendment gurantees women the right to vote)

#if you *as a Christian* seriously believe women are a) so subserviant to men they shouldn't vote #b) that women are not mentally equipped to deal with the 'rigors' of voting #or insert whatever nonsense here #how is that a partner you respect. how is that a partner you experience mutual submission to #how is that a partner you afford the dignity of personhood to #yes voting isn't the end all be all of this argument but i'll be damned if it isn't a good litmus test #ps when i say the 'dignity of personhood' this goes twofold with both a) respecting your partner and #b) allowing your partner to exist outside of the relationship #(in this case having an opinion she's allowed to express) #can you have a relationship with someone you so infantlize? who is not an equal in your eyes? i surely hope not

[nerves-nebula]

*voice of exhaustion* you guys are like, so moronically white

#nnstuff #rambling #this is about the murderbot fandom. dont talk to me about it but y'all annoying as hell sometimes #but im black what did i expect #had one critical thought about murderbot casting #and then decided that its actually groundbreaking that its being played by a white man because... why exactly? #thats literally seen as the default. there's nothing challenging about a white man playing a characater who has no gender #white men have played all kinds of characters including women and minorities #specifically because being a white man is seen as the default experience. so of course a white man can play a genderless robot #its not groundbreaking. no one is gonna be shook by a white man playing a robot saying that it has no gender #you guys are sooooo easily swayed its embarrassing #you know what would've been really cool and played into the themes of un-personhood within capitalism? #a trans black person. or even just A Black Person #a black man would've been doubly good imo because black men are seen as hyper masculine and aggressive #so it having no gender would push against that #and a black women could make the audience think about what traits they see as gendered #and both would make u think about how race plays into being owned under capitalism #and why it would unexpected to see that kind of face on a badass security construct #that would've been something at least

[divinebunni]

i don’t know who needs to hear this but good men do exist, they are soft and gentle and respectful, they hold you when you cry and pet your hair and place gentle kisses over your whole body and learn every little thing they can about you and strive to keep you safe and be a friend as well as a lover and they treat everyone and animals with respect and don’t say misogynistic sexist racist phobic things and they sing with you loudly in the car and let you braid their hair as practice and say i love you without you having to say it first and express their love for you in front of everyone and they look at you deeply and support your every decision and lowest moment and wish nothing but greatness for your health and mental betterment and treat women and men and all with such kindness. good men exist, good men deserve the same love and respect and kindness and support that you would give to anyone with a good soul. good men understand, and they will always be here with genuine hearts

#thoughts #felt it needed to be said like #just because one celebrity finally shows everyone that good men exist unapologetically #they are all around us and deserve to be seen and appreciated #good hearts calling out to good hearts #men have bright souls and a gentle disposition if you don’t keep your eyes closed just because you had a bad experience with men #like yes men can suck and be awful but so are women and so can be anyone #and while i am thankful pedro pascal is showing what good men look like let us not ignore the fact #that he isnt the only one #he just happens to be famous and now in the public eye and obviously is someone men should strive to be #but some men are already that wholesome and giggly and soft and kind and genuine and i want to acknowledge them #i love u bois #bunni speaks

[crimeronan]

it's genuinely very sad that so many of you guys have never seen breaking bad it's unironically one of my fave shows ever ever Ever and probably always will be. absolutely indefensible in terms of diverse casting or unproblematic representation, but also like...... So Fucking Good.

#if u cant stand to watch white men though i do not recommend it at all. #otherwise. Everything I Could Ever Want In A Show #god what if i streamed breaking bad sometime. would any of the childrens cartoon enjoyers here want to experience something that is uh #not. a children's cartoon in the slightest. #it really is so good. sorry for having the same taste in television/movies as my terrible father #if i didnt though i wouldn't be able to write characters getting at each other's throats with NEARLY the same level of mess. #breaking bad

[izzy-b-hands]

As much Brian and Jamie as I could get from The Brian May Band - Since You've Been Gone (Live At The Brixton Academy) for @rushingheadlong!!!

#gif #my gifs #brian may #jamie moses #brian may band #tw flashing #tw flashing gif #to b safe since the lights were. well #this was an experiment for me in learning how to better use tints to work with stage lighting and i think these are okay! #better than i've done before and good practice if nothing else #such rough 'practice' having to stare at pretty men many many times over to make these fjdskafjsalkfj

[shortkingvi]

gimme ur hot take on tswift/galoyrism (not me trying to get you killed)

my only hot take on taylor currently is just that ttpd is absolute dookie and i’m mad at her for it

gaylorism though???? i’ve told u about this before for SURE but i’ll repeat it here for everyone. i wanna write an academic paper on the following:

essentially, i think the whole gaylor phenomenon comes from a deep desire to queer the american dream. taylor represents the quintessential american who’s allowed to access the american dream: white, cis, straight, attractive, wealthy, popular, able bodied, etc. the only thing that doesn’t fall into the standard qualifications for the dream is her womanhood which is why she relies so heavily on boring neolib white feminism,,,,, a man can shout when a women must only whisper, that kinda shit

for gaylors though, this is insufficient. their major barrier of access to the american dream is typically their queerness; being a - usually - chronically online person means that they need to see a queerness that is not only socially accepted, but celebrated. so, they imagine this distant far off land where taylor comes out one day and it irrevocably shakes the foundation of the mainstream because she’s still the american dream except now she’s queer and that implies so many things for them

i’m not articulating this the best because tummy hurts and tired, but in essence i think that there’s an assumption that an out, queer taylor swift would be a roundabout way of allowing the dominant acceptable americanness metabolize queerness in a way that normalizes it entirely.

i saw a post from one of them once that was like “if taylor really is straight, doesn’t that make everything she does boring and no different from the million other straight stories we’ve heard before?” and like…. you are so close to the point, my love. A: she’s a human person and not a doll for you to dress up, so yeah, it would totally make things boring and unimaginative. but the bigger point is B: you’ve mistaken the fact that she’s always relied on ambiguity about muses as her giving secret hints of some illicit queer romance

she’s the absolute paragon of american cishet acceptability which is why if she were queer, that entirely changes the idea of who gets to access the dream. it’s wild stuff, but with some more research i really think that might be what it is

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion!

#i also think a lot of gaylors grew up listening to her and then when they realized they were queer they were like #woah this is unrelatable to me now and reflects a life i’ll never experience if these are about men #so they project queerness on to her #i get it because i’ve been a fan since 06 and i forced myself to cry to whitehorse when my bf broke up with me at 13 #because i thought it would make for a good dramatic moment #but once i realized i was a lesbian i was like oh cool this song is actually about everlark or some shit idk #i didn’t go ah… she scissored karlie 🤔 #if this shows up in their tag i’m killin u kathy jsyk #i truly don’t have any ill will or negativity toward them… i just kinda feel bad for them #asks #joansholmes