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#i just asked
daveydoodle · 7 months
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Arthritis and bladder and bowel control
The fun things you can find out on Google 🤪 🙃
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dulcimergecko · 2 years
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No, really, I'm an author, officer!
So...unplanned side effect of writing well-researched fic: the police officers at my job are starting to give me some really strange looks...
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bonesandthebees · 27 days
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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
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vamprisms · 30 days
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i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
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turtletoria · 3 months
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Palestine will be free in our lifetime 🇵🇸🍉🕊️ Don't look away, and let's keep supporting Palestine in any way we can.
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tigerjpg · 15 days
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nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions
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hjartasalt · 8 months
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One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"
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inkskinned · 9 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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yourangle-yuordevil · 4 months
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That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus
VS.
Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times
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sealsdaily · 6 months
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Seal noises please?
awawawawawawa.....
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daisywords · 6 months
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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.
Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.
It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?
Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.
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irlpretear · 3 months
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100 trans/genderqueer musicians
Bands
Against Me! (rock, folk punk) (x)
The Oozes (punk) (x)
The Hirs Collective (metal, grindcore) (x)
GEL (hardcore punk) (x)
Urn (hardcore punk) (x)
The Black Dresses (noise pop, hardcore hyperpop) (x)
Party Ghost (rock) (x)
Lagrimas (hardcore punk, scream punk) (x)
Doll Skin (rock) (x)
Dazey and the Scouts (rock, indie) (x)
G.L.O.S.S. (hardcore punk) (x)
Dog Park Dissidents (punk rock) (x)
She/Her/hers (rock) (x)
Deli Girls (hardcore electronic) (x)
Dream Nails (punk rock) (x)
Sarah and the Safe Word (rock, dark cabaret) (x)
Pinkie Promise (punk rock) (x)
B. Fraser (emo) (x)
Newgrounds Death Rugby (emo) (x)
Scowl (hardcore punk) (x)
Feminazgul (black metal) (x)
Sports Bra (dream pop, light rock) (x)
Club Sofa (indie pop) (x)
The Cost ov Living (grindcore, harsh noise) (x)
Kuromy (punk) (x)
The Sonder Bombs (indie, pop) (x)
Lidocaine (rock) (x)
I'm letting unseen forces take the wheel (cybergrind) (x)
Gum Disease (punk) (x)
Cam Girl (rock, trash rock) (x)
Gully Boys (grunge pop) (x)
Arcadia Grey (sparkle punk) (x)
Schmekel (folk punk) (x)
Destructo Disk (punk rock) (x)
User Unauthorized (hardcore punk) (x)
The Spook School (indie pop) (x)
Pinkshift (emo) (x)
Glass Beach (emo) (x)
Butch Baby (light rock) (x)
VIAL (indie punk) (x)
Sister Wife Sex Strike (folk punk) (x)
homewrecker. (metal, hardcore punk) (x)
Mega Mango (indie rock) (x)
Keep For Cheap (prarie rock) (x)
Steam Powered Giraffe (cabaret, steampunk) (x)
Thotcrime (grindcore, cybergrind) (x)
Whirlybird (indie pop) (x)
Kampsport (hardcore punk) (x)
Um Jennifer? (alt-rock, punk) (x)
Scarlet Demore (alt-rock) (x)
HappyHappy (folk, folk-punk) (x)
Queen Zee (punk) (x)
Grumpy Plum (slop pop) (x)
Cheap Perfume (punk) (x)
Pollyanna (power-pop, rock) (x)
Ballista (metalcore) (x)
Faetooth (fairy doom, metal) (x)
Lacerated (death metal) (x)
Fortuna Malvada (hardcore punk) (x)
Peach Rings (bedroom power-pop) (x)
Solo Artists
Laura Jane Grace (rock, folk punk) (x)
Left at London (pop) (x)
ZAND (pop, ugly pop) (x)
Ada Rook (hardcore electronic) (x)
Ms. White (pop) (x)
Rett Madison (indie, folk) (x)
Murder Person for Hire (folk) (x)
Backxwash (rap, industrial hip hop) (x)
LustSickPuppy (electronic, rap) (x)
Babylungs (electronic, rap) (x)
Human Kitten (folk punk) (x)
Harley Poe (folk punk) (x)
Ewy (emo, folk punk) (x)
Averstaskta (instrumental) (x)
Andie Schoen (indie) (x)
Elliot Lee (dark pop, electronic rock) (x)
Urias (hip hop, ballroom) (x)
Twink Obliterator* (cybergrind) (x)
Rio Romeo (cabaret punk, indie) (x)
Knife Girl (art pop, indie) (x)
Alexander James Adams (folk) (x)
Starmaxx (pop) (x)
Sofya Wang (pop, alt-R&B) (x)
Boy Jr (indie/alt pop) (x)
Medusa (revenge pop, hip-hop) (x)
Mal Blum (singer-songwriter, folk) (x)
Gina Young (riot grrrl) (x)
Petra Fiyd (indie pop) (x)
awfultune (bedroom pop) (x)
Quinn Hills (alternative pop) (x)
Femtanyl (electronic) (x)
Vivivivivi (electronic, glitchcore) (x)
Lilac Boy (glitchcore) (x)
Rosie Tucker (indie rock) (x)
Ryan Cassata (singer-songwriter) (x)
Pain Chain (noise, synth) (x)
In Love With A Ghost (electronic, lo-fi) (x)
Alice Longyu Gao (hyperpop) (x)
Prophetic Nightmares (ambient synthwave) (x)
Saint Wellesley (indie folk) (x)
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o0kawaii0o · 9 days
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raiding the fridge AGAIN
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nattousan · 1 year
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i love people's willingness to get hype over dumb shit.
I was driving home today and pull up to a light. As i'm slowing down i 👁️👁️ lock 👁️👁️ eyes with the dude in the car next to me. I spring into action, this is the moment I've been waiting for.
Now, something you must know about me is I drive around with several small plastic 🦀crabs 🦀 on my dashboard, One: for the whimsy of it all and two: on the off chance i encounter another driver who i think could benefit from witnessing them.
This young gentleman was one such someone.
As i pull up, as previously stated, our eyes lock and I hold up one☝️ finger☝️
Perplexed by my unprompted gesticulation, the young man rolls down his window, "what the devil could this perfect stranger be about to tell me?" he might have been thinking.
I present a singular dashboard crab, green and brown, homely but not without its charm.
I study his reaction, grinning encouragingly. He's nodding, obviously intrigued by my plasticine crustacean.
I wag my finger and shake my head, removing the crab from view. Confusion again, but he leans forward, invested. I have him now.
I grab my second dashboard crab, a rotund white and brown crab, easily the most beautiful of my crabs as it sports large discernible claws of an attractive size and silhouette.
✌️ TWO ✌️ i tell him.
He's cheering now, and rightly so, as these are delightful little beasts that anyone would be happy to encounter. But now comes the clincher, time to seal the deal.
My finger wags once more. He's awestruck, I have him completely enraptured. If a car had come and smeared us both into the pavement we would not have noticed, so wrapped up in my display were we.
I bring out my showstopper: a bright pink spider crab with delicately long legs the likes of which had never before nor since been seen in mid afternoon traffic.
As emphatically as i can express, I display all three of my dashboard crabs to this man, three fingers pressed triumphantly to the glass.
the guy is losing it in his car, mouth wide in what i assume to be a primal shout of crab derived excitement. His arms are pumping so vigorously its shaking his stationary vehicle.
We sit there, sharing in a moment of mutual jubilation, and then the light changes, and we move forward in line. He drives off, honking his horn in rapturous exultation,
and we part ways, exactly the same perhaps but changed nonetheless.
🦀
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piratedllama-art · 1 year
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Quarters only, please [x <- prints here]
(done in procreate)
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