#i just watched black widow

[swag696942069]

Marauders AU where the Black family are trained assassins and the cousins (Regulus, Sirius, Narcissa, Andromeda, Bellatrix) were trained like how Black Widows are trained (like the Marvel characters, not the bug, if that wasn't already clear enough)

OH!!

WHAT IF THEY'RE STILL CALLED BLACK WIDOWS!!!?

Omg

Anyway

What if, Sirius and Andromeda were the only ones to ever get out, and they're now living, simi, normal lives.

Until Sirius gets a message from his baby brother, asking for his help to destroy the "family business" because Narcissa is pregnant and they don't want the next generation to go through what they went through

I'm talking Black brother angst! I'm talking minor/background ships! I'm talking Regulus not understanding very many social cues cause he was literally only taught how to unalive people. I'm talking James/whoever you ship Reg with, going fearl when they see him fight so effortlessly! I'm talkin Sirius having a hard time letting Regulus do what he does best, assassin, cause in his mind, he still sees Reg as the little boy who was afraid of thunder and would crawl into his bed at night. I'm talking angst with a happy ending! I'm taling Walburga/Orion bashing! I'm talking freedom!

Please someone write this

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #black widow #can you tell i just recently watched black widow again #as an yelena and regulus kinnie they are also kinnies of each other #trained assassins au #marauders au #marauders black widow au #the marauders #regulus black #sirius black #james potter #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #pandora rosier #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #lily evans #dorcas meadowes #narcissa black #andromeda black #bellatrix black #fic ideas #marauders fic idea #im not gonna write this #but i give full permission for someone else to #just lmk if you do so i can read it #yelena belova #natasha romanoff

[smallblueandloud]

honestly one of my biggest disappointments with the black widow movie was how they tried to make kiddo!natasha into this, like, ~quirky~ blue-haired kid with a fairly normal childhood before they had to go back to the red room. when like. aren't you guys interested in a natasha who has never once known a normal life and yet can parody it perfectly? don't you remember the horrified delight of seeing the red room girls learning american english from copying snow white? why are you so insistent on giving natasha "real parents" and an attachment to yelena based on a childhood in OHIO when you can instead talk about natasha living in ohio as just as much of an undercover agent as her "parents". don't you see that the best horror of natasha pointing a gun at her handlers is not that she's holding a gun but that she knows how to use it???

#mcu #black widow #natasha romanoff #black widow critical #mcu critical #the best spy in shield (auntie nat) #sb and l rambles #sb and l watches mcu #this movie just angered and disappointed me so much #for a movie that professed to be about natasha god it had NO undercover work #and for a movie that professed to be about the red room -- which is about the complete dissolution of the american nuclear family -- #man was it about having a messy relationship with your parents who ''tried'' their ''best''. #like @marvel i the red room NOT about a situation where NO adults were actually sympathetic EVER? #i thought we had worked that out???

[twoloaksinatrenchcoat]

Currently rewatching my favorite marvel movies again and I’m dying why did natty have to die I love her so much she’s so beautiful and kind hearted and the best person ever. WHY DID THEY KILL MY BABY I HATE MARVEL SO FUCKING MUCH. Every single one of their good characters are either tortured souls or dead. IT ISNT FAIR

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #marvel #I’m sueing marvel for my therapy fees #I’m just watching black widow and I’m sobbing #black widow #i miss her sm

[awakefor48hours]

Even without the mind control thing, Natasha and Yelena trying to kill each other after seeing each other for the first time is just how siblings are

#yeah I just watched #black widow #again #black widow 2021 #natasha and yelena #marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff #yelena belova

[funforahermit]

I know I'm several years late, but... why didn't they make Black Widow a good movie? 🥺

#i haven't watched any marvel movies since endgame came out (i think) #getting back into it a bit right now #and i'm honestly so disappointed with black widow like what was that #i didn't warm to any of the characters #most of the jokes didn't quite land for me #it didn't feel well edited (i don't know anything about editing it's just a feeling) #some of the action was stupid #(...i mean stupidER than usual ok) #and hm #idk #i just wish it was like... better

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay but like Peter Parker reincarnated as dick grayson angst

#peter parker #dick grayson #nightwing #spiderman #Me in my little head listening to music and suddenly it auto fills a gap that wasn't even there and now I can't stop thinking about it #batman #story prompt #fic prompt #Fic idea #The angst would be juiciest if he didn't keep his powers #So like he's always pushing his body further to try and gain back just an inch more of what he had #Because even as spiderman he was too slow or weak to save everyone and he never realised just how dependent he was on his spider sense #At first he's living the dream with alive loving parents and acrobatics and travelling the world in peace #He's crushed when they die. In a way spiderman could have so easily prevented with his webs. He had to watch AGAIN. He's furious #With his experience from his previous life he latches onto batman and creates Robin from that. He balances school and hero life once more. #He becomes night wing when Gotham grows too dark and stifling. He needs out. To be a solo hero again. He hates that he has to leave batman #But at least he's alive to be mad. #When he gets siblings wow new experience!! Batman parenting normal kids is Such a bad idea but he'd die for them! #Then everything cascades and batman goes from iron man/daredevil to punisher/black widow and Jason doesn't want to listen #Even tho he died too and it hurt and b had a bio kid and he's batman until he isn't and he misses aunt may and still he loves being alive #Because spiderman was killed #And nightwing is older than he will ever be

[sailermoon]

sorry spider lovers but i just had to kill the biggest spider + a black widow I feel ill from adrenaline

#the black widow was easy but the other one was. it was something #i used a fly swatter and it just would not die like it wouldn’t die man 😭😵‍💫 it was so thick #my little brother was just watching on cheering from the sidelines like DUDE HELP ME #save me ibuprofen from the spider

[klownkoster]

Can I please hear some thoughts about your takes on the main 4?

Just anything on your mind I love hearing your thoughts :>

oooo good ask actually, I've been so focused on developing Dr. Hare and Binary Bard that Black Widow and Captain Crawfish haven't really crossed my mind all that much 🤔 Doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them though! I've just been brain-rotting about Hare and Bard more cause they're my comfort characters

My brain's a little scrambled right now to really go into depth at the moment, but I'll give you a few heacanons for each!

Dr. Hare ~ Autistic/has ADHD, or heck even both, and loves to info-dump about his interests to anyone willing to listen,, I'm just projecting at this point ~ Has fants(fur pants), his fur is very soft <3 Sucks in the summer, though ~ His little rabbit tail wags when he's really happy or excited about something, or info-dumping about something he's really passionate about 🥺 ~ He's envious of his pre-villain self, he wished he could go back to that young naïve version of himself, way back before the harshness of reality had a chance to crush him like it did and caused his villain totem to develop. Though at the same time, he wonders if that version of himself would hate him for who he's become, and if he would even want to associate himself with him in his current state. ~ What happened to him wasn't an accident

Binary Bard ~ I headcanon him as a masc-aligned nonbinary guy, he/they pronouns but he's cool with just he/him or they/them. I, personally, just call them what I see him as in the moment like I do with myself and my own OC's with pronoun sets like that ~ Speaks in binary to really aggravate others sometimes, just for the sake of being cryptic, or sometimes to say something he doesn't want to say directly. Luckily for him, the other three are accustomed to this and have learned how to translate it by now. ~ Knowing the things he did while under the influence of his villain totem has left him with sleeping issues, often laying awake at night feeling guilty and wondering what he could have done differently. ~ During his time controlled by the totem, it had altered his personality entirely, essentially turning him into the complete opposite of the calm inventor that usually kept too himself, he hates the person that totem turned him into. He especially hates what it made him do too his loved ones.

Black Widow ~ Black Widow and Betty Jetty are absolutely dating. Power lesbians. ~ I headcanon she became Black Widow because throughout her entire life her artistic talents were always pushed aside and belittled ever since childhood. Beautiful landscapes and still-lives eventually turned into warped portraits of herself when her totem came about, and she sought out to make the world see and recognize her talent. ~ *Rubs my gay little hands* Transfem Black Widow ~ After her totem was destroyed, she almost didn't know how to adjust to domestic life, it even scared her a bit, but with the help of her little ex-villain friend group they all learned to adjust and reflect on themselves together, which helped ease her fears. Now she's essentially like the group "mama bear" and "cool aunt" both wrapped in one.

Captain Crawfish ~ His totem came about after a previous crew he was captain of was lost at sea after a rival crew from Skullduggery sunk his ship. Survivors guilt and anger spawning both his totem and his hatred for Skullduggery, wanting to steal every bit of treasure they have like they stole his crew from him, whom he treasured as his own family. This eventually turned to stealing whatever treasure he could get his hands on, with it temporarily filling that void his fallen crew left behind, and when that feeling would wear off he'd set off for the next set of treasures in a desperate attempt to fill that void again, and that cycle would continue. ~ After his totems destruction, it took him a long while before he felt comfortable enough to return to the seas, still feeling awful about his lost crew and fearing another crew would be taken from him if he started sailing again. But, like mentioned in Black Widow's section, he and the others all learned to cope together and he eventually did return to sailing. ~ He's honestly rather protective of the other three, them being the only ones he's felt particularly close too since his first crewmates. He'll never admit it out loud, but he doesn't want to lose them like he did his crew.

#klowntalks #ask #sorry for the long post!!! #i know i said my brain was too scrambled to go into depth #but once i started typing there was no stopping KSDKJDG #the ideas just popped up and i had to write them down #you get to watch my sleep deprived mind write out random incoherent thoughts in real time #i havent slept since 1pm yesterday #poptropica #dr. hare #binary bard #black widow #captain crawfish #dr. hare poptropica #binary bard poptropica #black widow poptropica #captain crawfish poptropica #long post

[planet-poptropica]

⋆ You know what I’d love? A sitcom show about retired Poptropica villains. ⋆

⋆ Imagine. ⋆

#poptropica #im talking like Modern Family #all the poptropica villains are neighbors and trying to live a normal life after villainy #i have a specific scenario #where director and bard are married #and either adopted a child or ai merlin exists #and they send their child to school #only to be met by a karen mom thats like... #who let these VILLAINS be parents?? #and it just- #cuts to director looking at the camera like- #you know sometimes #i wish i stayed a villain dhsbjbsd- #please it would be so funny omg #or black widow living the life of an artist #or dr. hare having his own cooking show #poptropica devs make it happen/j #no but seriously i would love to watch something like this #maybe i'll draw something for it #if i get motivated enough dhsusiahsus #thank you for coming to my ted talk

[saunteringvaguelydownwards]

Yelena hearing Natasha tell her not to spike the engine, looking at Natasha with love and regret and then doing what she has to do.

Natasha seeing Taskmaster approaching fast, looking at Yelena with love and regret and then doing what she has to do.

Natasha, letting go, falling to save Yelena.

Natasha, letting go, falling to save everyone.

#this post brought to you by the idea that the look on yelena's face when natasha let go of the parachute #would be the same if yelena had been on vormir instead of clint #“she loved you and always wanted you safe” #yelena already knows because natasha's done this before #yelena may be angry that natasha sacrificed herself but yelena tried to do it first #between watching the hawkeye show and the black widow movie and all the bishova fanfic i've been reading #seeing how broken yelena is by natasha's death #this makes me so retroactively bitter about how natasha was mishandled in the mcu #i shouldn't need 7 hours of additional film/tv and supplemental fanworks to give a shit about a character that was in 7 fucking MCU movies #i dunno maybe that says something about me #that i'm only sad about natasha now because yelena is sad about natasha #but i think it's more likely a failure of storytelling on their part #i felt plenty sad about loki (both times) and peter and coulson and hell even yondu and they had way less screentime #anyhoo #this kinda got away from me #basically just wanted to point out some similarities and wallow in my natasha and yelena feels a bit #black widow #avengers: endgame #natasha romanoff #yelena belova #parallels

[scionshtola]

there’s a scene in rebel moon where a guy is riding his bird mount and he flies it over the group and they all duck except kora who lifts a hand to touch its feathers and like the crazy obsessed person i am my first thought was “cori behavior 😌”

#also i think probably the closest cori does get to feeling the thrill of battle is doing wild stunts with cilantro #i just think they would think that was fun. and also they can do that sort of thing now that mch taught them how to do flips #anyway i had fun watching this movie idc if ppl think it’s bad 😌 #i need a text post tag #rebel moon spoilers #if any of you care about that…idr when it came out #also i do love a battle where a woman gets to put her whole body in her punches instead of mcu black widow type fighting #does anyone even know what i’m talking about. agshdjskd

[stubz]

if I were a guard or minion or whatever and I saw the intruder just murder everyone within a 15 foot radius in like a minute…I would unload/sheath my weapon, throw it and just drop to the floor with my hands over my head

I would set the world record for quickest surrender

like, oh your one of the most deadly hitman? Yeah your target is down the hall buddy! Please don’t shoot me *smiling cheerfully * oh your an assassin who has a kill count in the thousands? here’s the time and place my client will be tonight! Please don’t snap my neck *friendly wave*

oh your an disgustingly powerful being with powers/abilities? My boss is in the middle of their victory speech in the banquet hall, that’s down the stairs and a left at the statue of ‘em! Please give me time to leave before you blow up the place *happy chuckle*

It’s just a big I-don’t-get-paid-enough-for-this-shit combined with a Im-not-qualified-enough-for-this nope. Nope s all around

#Saw my brother watch John Wick and remembered how awesome and terrifying that dude is #John wick #black widow #All might #and lots of others #oh and superman #It’s just a big nope #Like u other henchmen saw this person murder 3 dozen people! Do you really think that your the chosen one??? #You will be the one to kill this scary ass person? #I don’t think so buddy!!

[lordstormageddidnt]

Take a shot everytime I insert chemistry stuff into my solangelo fanfics when it 100% doesnt need to be there

#alfie #chem major #watch the second sequel to black widow nico au just be 20k words of will matching fingerprints and testing suspicious stains #actually omg wait that would slap so hard #no one would enjoy it BUT I WOULD

[andthebeanstalk]

One thing you gotta know about me is that I will quietly unfollow the fuck out of anyone on tumblr who reblogs or posts anything even remotely positive about Tony Stark, like I will politely show myself out SO FUCKING HARD they won't even know what hit 'em. - probably because they are unlikely to notice it at all

#obviously if we are friends i will not unfollow you but I follow a shitload of random blogs #and so i just bail at the first sign of bad vibes - or worse - BAD MEDIA TAKES. #it takes so much self-control not to reblog the thing myself and trash talk tony stark on it but that is their happy space not mine #buT GODS I HATE HIM SO MUCH. I watched endgame at home with my wife and we both literally cheered when he died #he's an abusive neglectful father figure but the writers and directors seem fully unaware of it I don't know what else to tell you #original #it's one thing for a character to be an emotionally manipulative piece of shit but it's a whole other ball game when #apparently the writers still think they wrote a really cool guy. and that is basically Tony Stark in a nutshell. #that man doesn't get a character arc he gets a character death. that's not the same thing. #I probably wouldn't hate him so much except my wife hates him so deeply and that has really made it unavoidable how much he sucks #and also he has that Wolverine syndrome where he is treated as the main character of every ensemble he's in no matter what #it is ALLLLL about Tony. at the end we see Tony has a hero's funeral. Black Widow is unmentioned. as Irrelevant in death as she was in life #she died doing what she loved: wearing tight clothes and making snarky quips. her two most important character traits.

[bedlamsbard]

at least once a week and sometimes more often I am filled with rage about how many missed opportunities there were in the Time Heist

like, it’s a ridiculous concept! so roll with it! why didn’t y’all do anything INTERESTING.

#maybe after horizon I will write a 'five things that didn't happen in the time heist' fic #steve meeting howard (and tony seeing the absolute unthinking and total trust howard still has in steve even thirty years later) #2023 natasha vs. 2018 natasha because we deserved a black widow vs. black widow fight #another alternate solution to the vormir problem #scott and rocket having delightful heist adventures #(scott and rocket should have been allowed to do the entire time heist on their own) #bedlam watches the mcu #more seriously I genuinely think one of the problems with iw and endgame is that they needed a high fantasy director #and the russos do not do high fantasy #(don't ask me what was going on with markus and mcfeely; I found out the other day they also did all three narnia films #and suddenly a LOT of things make sense about why the cap films work/don't work for me just like lww/pc/votdt work/don't work for me)

[magioffire]

i keep seeing yellow sac spiders on lists of spiders that are ‘dangerous’, literally right under brown recluses and black widows and im like. uhhhh no. they are more comparable to the bite of a wolf spider or a cobweb spider (if even THAT. more like a bee sting?) than a fucking brown recluse omg. maybe the reason youre getting a 4 inch necrotic welt on your leg from a yellow sac spider bite is because youre not treating it and youre itching it with your dirty fucking nails (trust me ive been there and its totally from introducing foreign bacteria to what amounts to a puncture wound into your body :) )

#fhsjsbhdgj i hate misinformation about spiders #like saying a yellow sac spider is among the most dangerous spiders is like saying #that an oppossom or a dog is among the most dangerous mammals #technically true if you have to put them on a list but they really arent that dangerous compared to other mammals #ive lived with yellow sacs in my house for years. handled them. been bitten by them. never had an issue?? #maybe im just lucky lol #but to me they dont deserve to be placed under a fucking brown recluse and black widow omg #ooc. #spiders cw #they are pretty common so thats maybe why people think they are dangerous. if people encounter enough wolf spiders for instance #someone is eventually gonna get bit and have a bad reaction #but i dont buy it when the internet says they are SOOsOOOOO dangerous #like if i got bit by a brown recluse or black widow. i would go to the fucking hospital #if i got bit by a yellow sac? i would say eh and clean it and just watch it #those are two very different levels of 'dangerous'