#i knew when dig down came out that this album was gonna be awesome

[robinrunsfiction]

It’s A Love Story - Part 3

Part 2

"What the hell Frank," (YN) heard Ray shout from where she was sitting on the steps in front of the school, digging through her backpack. Her head snapped up as she looked between them, trying to figure out what was happening.

"What did I do?" He asked defensively.

"Tucker just told me he delivered a pizza to you on Friday night, and he saw girls shoes and a purse by the door. You lied about being sick to go on a date?!"

(YN)'s eyes wide as panic ran through her. She hadn't seen Tucker, she was in the living room, so there couldn't have been any way he would have seen her. Ray would have said if he knew it was her, right? Tucker would have surely told her brothers.

"You got a girlfriend?!" Mikey asked, clearly surprised.

"Umm, yea, I do," Frank answered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gerard asked.

"Who is she?" Ray asked, not even giving him time to answer the last question.

"She doesn't go here," Frank lied.

"Is she cute?" (YN) finally piped up, a wicked smile on her face.

"She's gorgeous," Frank replied emphatically and (YN) grinned even wider.

"Are we gonna meet her sometime?" Gerard asked.

"I dunno, maybe, if she wants."

"What's her name?" Mikey asked.

Frank opened his mouth to answer and (YN) was genuinely curious to see how he was going to respond when the bell rang, signaling that they had five minutes to get to their homerooms.

"I'll tell ya later," Frank replied as they all made their way into the school.

(YN) hung back and Frank slowed down so he could walk with her. "Saved by the bell," she smirked.

"Who knew Tucker was fuckin Sherlock Holmes," he muttered and (YN) laughed.

“What name were you gonna give them?”

“Yours,” he smirked.

“Stop it,” she said, smacking his arm and he laughed.

“I’ll see ya in algebra,” he said before heading down the hall. (YN) watched him go and sighed. One day they’d all know she was the girl at Frank’s house. One day she’d be able to kiss him before they parted ways. One day couldn’t come soon enough.

~

A few weeks passed, and (YN) was still living for the thrill of being with Frank. There were small moments like (YN) coming out to the garage to watch the band, or rather Frank, practice, to them spending more time doing homework together, to Frank taking her hand as they sat next to each other during the weekly movie night, even though her brothers were right there. Then there were the more exciting moments, like when she found Frank between the shelves, deep in the library.

“Hey,” she whispered, making him jump.

“Shit, oh hey (YN)," he grinned. "What are you doing here?”

“I'm in study hall, but I came to get some books for my research project for history. I saw Mikey up front and he said your English class was in here so," she shrugged, leaning against the shelf.

"You thought you'd come find me in the stacks?" He smirked.

"I thought I'd come find my books for my research project. Come on Frank, what did you think was gonna happen?" She replied with a smirk of her own.

Frank glanced over his shoulder, before grabbing her waist and kissing her hard. (YN)'s mind began to spin, partially because of how amazing the kiss was, but also because her brother was also in the library. Hell, anyone could wander over and find them making out. It'd take all of a minute for the entire school to find out. And (YN) loved it.

She ran her hands through his hair, as they made out against the historical fiction books until they heard footsteps and they pulled apart and both turned their attention to the books. Whoever it was, kept walking, not even slowing down to do more than glance their way.

“Close one,” Frank whispered.

“Mmhmm,” she agreed, stealing a look out of the corner of her eye.

“Kinda awesome.”

“Oh yea,” she giggled.

That afternoon at lunch, (YN) was at her usual spot with the guys, minus Mikey. Ray and Gerard had been practically bouncing out of their seats, clearly having news to share.

“Where is Mikey?” Ray asked, looking around anxiously.

“I dunno, but I’ll fill him in later,” Gerard said. “Let’s just tell ‘em!”

“There’s a battle of the bands coming up and we’re signed up!” Ray announced.

Frank, Bob, and (YN) all exchanged a look of surprise.

“Wait, when is it?” Frank asked.

“Next month!” Gerard grinned.

Bob put his head in his hands. “We have so much more practicing to do.”

“I think we got a real shot!” Ray explained. “And when we win, we get prize money and  real studio time to record an album!”

“We’ll be taking off in no time!” Gerard nodded.

“Can I help?” (YN) asked. 

Before anyone could answer, Mikey walked into the cafeteria with a cute blonde girl. 

"See ya there Mikey," the blonde waved before going off to join her friends and Mikey had a smug smile on his face.

"About time!" Ray said.

“What was all that about?” Gerard asked.

"Me and Kristin are going to the fall formal together."

“Oh nice,” Gerard replied.

(YN) almost choked on her sandwich. "Wait, what?! That's not fair! I wanted to go to fall formal!"

"Who's stopping you?" Mikey replied.

"You and Gee! When you two, the least intimidating nerds at this school, somehow convinced the entire male population to stay away from me!"

She could feel people were starting to look at her as her voice raised with every word but she didn't care. She was angry and sick of how she'd been treated.

"Just go with Christine and Marie," she heard Gerard say, and she began to see red.

"I don’t want to because they have dates and I don't want to be a third wheel!" She snapped. "The double standards in this family are such BULLSHIT!"

"Miss Way!" Mrs. Simon barked. “The office, now!”

(YN) felt her cheeks burning red and her shoulders slumped in defeat as almost everyone in the cafeteria started laughing at her while she was marched down to the office by the teacher. She sighed in frustration at yet another way her brothers were ruining everything for her.

~

A few hours later the school day was over and (YN) reported to detention.

"Is this your first time in detention?" The teacher, Mr. Rodriguez, asked as she slid into the desk and she nodded. "Ok. The rules are there is no talking, you may do your homework, read, or sit silently."

(YN) wondered who she would even talk to since the room was empty. She pulled a folder out of her backpack and was about to get started on her homework when someone else walked into the room.

"Mr. Iero, please take a seat, you know the rules," she heard the teacher say. She looked up to see Frank coming to sit down at the desk next to hers.

"Hey," he whispered.

She grinned and then turned her attention back to her homework. They both worked silently until the teacher announced he would be right back.

"He's gonna be gone at least 10 minutes," Frank said once the door was closed.

"How do you know?"

"He's taking a smoke break."

"Oh, right. Well what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let my girl go through her first detention alone," he smiled.

(YN) covered her face, partially because she was blushing, and partially because she was embarrassed to be in detention in the first place. "What did you do to be here anyway?"

"I threw a ball at Mikey's head during gym."

(YN) could hardly stifle her laughter. "Oh my god, were you playing dodgeball?"

"No, soccer."

(YN) burst out laughing, thankful Mr. Rodriguez was not in the room. "Thanks for that."

"He deserved it," Frank nodded.

"I agree,” she grinned.

When they walked out of the school almost an hour later, (YN)'s mom was sitting in her car waiting to pick her up. "Ugh, I can't wait to get grounded."

"Maybe it won't be that bad?" Frank said sympathetically as they walked down the steps.

"Hello Frankie, did you wait for (YN)?" Her mom called out the open car window.

"No, I had detention too," he shrugged.

"Oh," her mom seemed taken aback. "Well would you like a ride home?"

"Please," (YN) whispered, hoping to delay the trouble she was certain to get into.

"Sure, thanks!" He nodded, getting in the backseat.

"That Mrs. Simon said this wasn't your first outburst this year, (YN)," her mom said as they started to head home.

"Yea, I know."

"That's not like you," her mom replied, more concerned than angry.

"I know," she muttered, head against the window.

"No one asked me, but I think Gerard and Mikey should back off," Frank piped up from the backseat.

"What do you mean Frankie?"

"Don't worry about it," (YN) mumbled.

"They're too protective of her. I know she's a girl, and the youngest, even if it's just by a few minutes, but they don't need to treat her like every single guy is a predator," he explained.

"Did something happen?" Her mom asked, now very concerned.

"No, some guy in Gee’s class was talking to me at that pool party this summer and Gee freaked out. It doesn't matter, the social damage is done. I don't even care anymore."

"Do you want me to talk to them?"

"No, I don't wanna make it worse. Just let me handle it," (YN) answered.

The rest of the drive was silent until they arrived at Frank's house. "See you tomorrow," he said, reaching forward to rub (YN)'s arm sympathetically before getting out.

"He's a good boy," her mom said as they started back toward their house and (YN) hummed in quiet agreement. "And that necklace he bought you for your birthday is lovely."

(YN) didn't even realize she was playing with it until her mom drew her attention to it. "Yea," she agreed.

"If you ask me, I think he likes you, I've always thought that."

(YN) blushed. "Don't tell anyone, but I know he does."

"Because you like him too?" Her mom asked. (YN) nodded as they pulled into the driveway. "I'll keep it our little secret."

"So am I in trouble for getting detention?"

Her mom laughed lightly. "No, but don't let it happen again. If you want to yell at your brothers, wait until you're home."

"Will do," she nodded, a relieved smile crossing her face.

(YN) didn’t say anything to either of her brothers that night at dinner, eating quickly before running back up to her room. It still wasn’t fair that she got in trouble, or that Mikey could date whoever he wanted to and she couldn’t. She curled up in bed with her sketch book, and tried to let her frustrations come out through her pencil.

"Hey," she heard Mikey say from her doorway after a while.

"Go away," she muttered, not even looking up until something landed at the foot of the bed. It was her favorite candy bar.

"Sorry for being an ass," he said.

"Whatever," she said, grabbing the candy, but still not even looking his way.

"Did you hear what Frank did?"

"Gave you what you deserve," she replied.

"I guess you could say that, but we’re just looking out for you."

She glared at him. "I'm not that fragile Mikey! I can handle myself, now go away!"

“Sorry,” he muttered as he retreated back to his room next door.

(YN) got up and slammed her door and settled back onto her bed when there was another knock. 

“Oh my god, leave me alone!” (YN) shouted, but the door opened anyway.

“Can we talk?” Gerard asked, peaking in.

“No! Go away!” She said getting up to push the door shut, but Gerard was stronger than her.

“I’m sorry! I was thinking about how you said you wanna help with the band, and I was wondering if you’d design our logo for us, and maybe like some shirts or something?”

(YN) stopped pushing on the door. “Wait, really?”

“Yea, like when we win this thing, we’re gonna need some merch to sell to help get our name out there, and posters for gigs, stuff like that,” Gerard shrugged.

“Yea, I guess I could try,” she nodded.

“And I know Mikey tried to apologize, but didn’t do a good job of it. We just didn’t want a guy like Adam to get a chance to do anything, because then people would start talking and-”

“Hang on,” (YN) cut him off. “This isn’t the Regency era, I don’t need my older brothers telling me who I can and cannot spend time with, out of fear that I’ll disgrace the family!”

“That’s not it! I just… I just feel like it’s my duty to protect you. You and Mikey both, but it’s different with you because you’re a girl and I’ve seen the way the guys look at you and I can imagine what they’re thinking and it’s gross and it makes me mad.”

(YN) sighed. "I just wish that if you felt like making a decision in my best interest, you’d actually ask me what I want first."

"Sorry," Gerard mumbled.

"Doesn't do much good now, but whatever," she shrugged.

Gerard stepped back from the door, and she shut it behind him. It didn't really matter, she had Frank, but it was the principle of the matter that still left her steaming.

Part 4

#frank iero x reader #frank iero fan fic #frank iero fan fiction #frank iero imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction

[soundsof71]

for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true. 

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album. 

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL 

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”. 

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs. 

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.” 

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL 

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL 

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it. 

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant. 

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska. 

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.  

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).  

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric: 

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light 

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL 

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2.  The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best. 

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

#bruce springsteen #born in the usa #shut out the light #dancing in the dark #nebraska #ask #essay #downbound train #darkness on the edge of town #Anonymous #youtube

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

#Trans #Lgbtq #blog #daily blog #Dollar Tree #Dollar CD #Dollar Tree Cd #receiver #pioneer #fisher #audio #music #CD #cassette #iBroadcast #nerd gurl #nerdy girl #ramble #rant #please read this to figure out what my life is like even though it quite honestly doesn't matter at all but might still be kinda interesting #Spotify

[selfcallednowhere]

March 4, 2018, San Francisco, CA

I was really excited about this show, the second at the Fillmore in as many nights, because I knew they'd be changing the setlist up a fair amount, as they always do when they play more than one show in a row in the same place. I was even more excited when a bit before the show Flans posted on Facebook that there would be fifteen new songs, which was practically a full half of the show!

They opened with "Pencil Rain"--that one was definitely a surprise. I think the only time I've seen that song outside of the two Lincoln shows I've been to was at one of the Brooklyn New Year's Eve shows a few months before this. I don't think it's one of the absolute best songs on Lincoln, there are definitely other songs I'd rather see, but any song from that album is gonna be some degree of amazing, so it was definitely cool to see it.

Afterwards, Flans said that they know it's disappointing when bands play too many new songs (WRONG--or at least, wrong when the new songs in question are as fantastic as the ones on I Like Fun!), so when they said they were going to play a new song we should pretend it was our favorite song, and they will accept fake emotion.

They played "All Time What," then John said they should introduce the next song by talking about "what makes this song so this song-y."

The song was "Why Does the Sun Shine?", once again with JF singing and JL talking. The heat and light of the sun were caused by the nuclear reaction between "things made out of stuff, microscopic dust, the feelings that separate us, and death." (The last couple made it a very Linnellian list.) There was also some adorable spazziness from him.

After that Flans said half the show would be different than the night before and the other half would be "mind-numbingly the same." He said we'd see that the banter we thought was improvised wasn't (he was joking, but I did see them recycle some banter on this tour, to my slight disillusionment). Then John said that they wouldn't be playing the songs we came back for, and Flans said they were all about "delivering disappointment" and were like General Tso's chicken.

Then Flans said he'd just gotten Netflix and so has been watching a lot of Netflix, including a documentary he'd just watched about the czars. He said that also today "I went to a restaurant where everything was fried, because who wants to live forever?" and that he was "just living my vampire life." Then he said, "We have a day off in Eugene, because who would want a day off in San Francisco? And you wonder why we're bitter." Then he asked John, "How are your problems?" "My problems are awesome."

Next they played "Mammal," which was quite exciting, and then came the next episode in the continuing saga of "Will John Linnell ever manage to successfully sing 'Mrs. Bluebeard' without screwing up the lyrics somehow?" This time he managed to get very close to the end smoothly, and I was trying to somehow send him some sort of mental encouragement ("Almost there! I believe in you!"), but then he messed up the very end, siiiiigh. At this point I pretty much gave up and resigned myself to the fact that he was never going to manage to get it right.

Next they played "She's Actual Size." I've seen this song a ton, but outside of a couple of Apollo 18 shows in the past few years it's almost all been contained within the confines of the very very first shows I went to on the Mink Car tour, back when it featured the epic Dial-A-Drum-Solo bit with Dan Hickey, which made this another surprise. It is a good song both on the album and live, but I've never been a fan of part of the arrangement they've used all the times I've seen it, where towards the end it gets way slowed down and Flans is singing in falsetto and all that (I'm fine with his falsetto at other times, it just bugs me in this one specific instance). But up until that point seeing it was fun.

Next was "The Statue Got Me High," to my great disappointment on keyboard again, but this time I managed to push myself past that disappointment and still really dig the performance, which was good because it's very close to the top in my list of all-time most-beloved songs and I do want to actually be able to enjoy it.

After that John got his accordion on ("Oh now you do," I couldn't help thinking). He introduced the next song as being "one of our tired old songs." When they started playing I saw that was an assessment I most definitely would not agree with, as the song was another one of my all-time favs (it was in fact my favorite song way back when I started getting more deeply into TMBG when I was in high school): "Turn Around"! So I was thrilled about that, of course!

Next they played "When the Lights Come On," which remains my favorite of the new songs they've actually been doing live to see. Afterwards, Flans said that it was from their new album I Like Fun, "available on Bar/None records and tapes." Then he said they really do have it available on vinyl, and that the vinyl was made in the Czech Republic, which is where they make the good stuff. John said if you want "the flat ones that actually play" you have to go there. Then Flans said that records look like calendars, and then was joking about someone in the audience who made a noise like they thought that was "a cruel burn."

Next they played "The Mesopotamians." I'd actually managed to enjoy it the night before after feeling burned out on it for some time, but this time I felt sick of it again.

Afterwards, Flans pointed out that the Oscars were currently happening (I actually didn't know that until he said it--I don't pay much attention to that sort of thing), and that we were all "out of the loop about something that's going to be appalling everyone." Then he was talking about when they announced the wrong winner for Best Picture last year--"What a shitshow. That was the ultimate 'you had one job.'"

They played "This Microphone," and then another surprise that I was really excited to see: "Cyclops Rock"! That's one of my favs on Mink Car and it's totally kickass live (I am an eternal sucker for really high-energy rockin' Flansongs live), and it had popped up a couple of times at other shows I'd been to recently, but not much, so yeh it was a lot of fun.

Next they talked about how Dial-A-Song is back. Flans said some of the songs have had "startling" videos that have gotten Youtube comments just saying something like "Fuck." John said, "That's the response we've been hoping for for 35 years." Then he said his favorite comment they've received is "What sorcery is this?" He asked Flans if he objected to the "Fuck" cos it needed a parental advisory (this amused me cos Flans swears like crazy), and Flans said not at all.

Then they returned to the previous night's discussion of this Tony Robbins guy. Flans said, "He's not an evangelist cos he doesn't have a soul," and told us again that he'd just watched a "fake documentary" about him. John said their conversation wasn't accurately conveying how "completely crazy" he is. Flans said that he "uses disruptive language to break down barriers of communication," which basically means saying "fuck" to "someone who looks related to my great-aunt." John said that was disruptive, and Flans agreed that it was "like being slapped in the face is disruptive." Then John said that if they tried they could be "the Tony Robbins of rock bands."

They closed out the first set the same way they did the night before: "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal" straight into "Birdhouse in Your Soul," which is seriously SO MUCH ROCKIN' OUT AT ONCE, it's almost too much.

The second set started with the Quiet Storm contra-alto clarinet version of "Older" like usual. Then Flans made Marty play part of some Phil Collins song again (or maybe it was a Genesis song and not him solo, I don't even know, I hate Phil Collins and did not recognize it).

They played "I Like Fun," and then Curt got out his euphonium. Flans said the euphonium is what they give you in band when you're too small to play the tuba, and John said euphonium isn't the real name of the instrument, it's a euphemism (a joke that made the word nerd in me happy).

So next they played "Shoehorn with Teeth," which is always a ton of fun live, and I really loved it on accordion (what, as opposed to all the songs I don't love on accordion?). Marty was playing some big bell, and Flans was trying to figure out what it was. Then, he said it wasn't what he thought it was, and he was just confused cos he was getting high from the pot people were smoking. John said it was particularly stinky pot (I'm reasonably bothered by the smell of pot just as a general rule, but I can confirm that whatever people were smoking here seemed to smell even worse than usual), and Flans said it's what they say is "the good stuff" on cop shows. Then John said something about a character played by Tony Roberts in Serpico, who's supposed to be the cool cop but isn't really. Then they were saying that their cultural references are going to be very specific now--they're only going to talk about him, Tony Robbins, Tom Robbins, and Tom Robinson.

Next they played "A Self Called Nowhere," and I know I'm writing some variation of "it was so incredibly special for me" in every single one of these reviews, but that's because it's always true. I know the first time is always going to be the most special time, just because it was the first and I'd been wanting this so intensely for such a long time, but something really great about the times I've seen it since the first couple is they've included Curt on trumpet (since he wasn't with them for the early part of the tour), and I always think he adds so much to the songs he appears on.

Next they played "How Can I Sing Like a Girl?" I saw that one on accordion a ton when they were doing it duo a lot on I think it was the Join Us tour, and it was great that way--I preferred it duo just cos my heart is now and forever all about duo stuff, but this arrangement was fantastic too.

Next they played "Istanbul," the duo version with them being really silly. During the part where Flans is saying "Take me back, please take me back," in falsetto and John's saying "Nooooo" in a really deep voice, John said "Even Tony Robbins says no" one of the times. Like the other times I've seen them do it duo on this tour, the full band came back for the crazy jam session at the end.

They played "Particle Man," then did another awesome big surprise song: "Dig My Grave"--GOD is that song fun live. (It's only just now occurring to me how many of the songs that I was happily surprised by during this run of shows are from Apollo 18, and having the thought that they would've needed to rehearse them for the Apollo 18 show they'd done the previous month, so that's probably why they were sprinklig them into the set here and there.) There were strobes during it, and afterwards Flans said they should've mentioned that there were strobes, but they'd forgotten, and John said that after there were strobes they couldn't remember anything (they'd had roughly the same exchange at the aforementioned Apollo 18 show). Flans said it was like how the kick drum gives you a heart attack, and then recessitates you, and John said Marty always has to play the kick drum an even number of times or they'll die. Flans said "Clear!" (all dramatically like they do on medical TV shows), and then said he doesn't even understand why they say that, and John said "I think that's a Scientology thing." Then Flans said maybe it's just a blessing.

They played "Wicked Little Critta" (as usual the best part about the song for me was watching the closeups of John's hands on his Kaoss Pad and keyboard that were being projected on the screen on the back of the stage--that's about the only time I actually like the screen being there, normally I just find it unpleasantly distracting), and then another big surprise song: the title track from that album. That stirred up a lot of Feelings for me, as it was the very first song they played at my very first show.

They played "I Left My Body," then Flans said that they'd someday figure out a way to do a three-night stand. He said they'd probably have to become a jam band. John said people didn't seem very enthusiastic, and Flans said they'd be drawing an entirely different crowd. John asked if people were yelling "Gross," but then he figured out that they were yelling about the Black Crowes, and Flans explained (like the day before) that there was a poster in their dressing room from a time they played five nights in a row here at the Fillmore and that the poster was "mocking" them.

Someone was yelling out for "Spider" and Flans said that they'd play it even though they're from New York, where the rule is you're not allowed to play requests. He said he'd gone to a sandwich shop where a woman asked the guy to heat up her sandwich and he said "We believe you'd prefer it cold." They actually did play it, but John looked so unenthusiastic when Flans said they were going to. But I mean he didn't really have much choice, he would've looked like a jerk if he'd refused to after Flans already said they were going to. Anyway it was an interesting version of the song, particularly since he played it on accordion (he just happened to already have it on for the following song).

The next song in question was "Subliminal," my reaction to which can be summed up by the "Oh fuck yes" that popped into my head as soon as they started playing it. As my friend Ant put it "That song is better live than it has any right to be," and it's another classic I've only seen a handful of times. I was disappointed by the lack of fake backwards singing at the end, but otherwise it was perfect.

Next they played "Let Me Tell You About My Operation" (my current fav Flansong and absolutely amazing live, so always a welcome addition to the set!). Then there were band intros and the main set wrapping up with "Doctor Worm."

The first encore started with "Spy." During the improv part (which is really what makes that song live), John was playing a sample I heard him employ at several other shows, but I'm not sure what the source is, it's just a woman singing "Now the night has gone."

Next they played "Fingertips," which I've always really loved live but I'm sorry to say I've been getting into burnout with it just recently due to overexposure. However, this particular performance did feature a notable variation: During "I Walk Along Darkened Corridors," Dan appeared up in the balcony and finished the song there! (He actually might've shown up there earlier than that, I'm not sure, but that was when I noticed him.)

The second encore started with "Ana Ng," so between that and "Everything Right is Wrong Again" the previous night I got both my tattoo songs in San Francisco. And they closed the show with "New York City."

So all in all this was a most excellent show. After my prior frustration on this trip with having no variation in the setlist between the first show and the second, it was really exciting to get so many different and exciting surprises between these two Fillmore shows.

The final and really not very exciting JL wardrobe report: the long-sleeved black shirt made another appearance.

#tmbg #show reviews

[secretradiobrooklyn]

New York State Tax Edition | 3.20 & 3.27.21

Secret Radio | 3.20 & 3.27.21 | Hear it here.

Liner notes by Evan (except * for Paige), Art by Paige

1. Antoine Dougbé - “Towe Nin” 

There was a while during which I tried to listen to every single T.P. Orchestre song that could be heard via discogs.com. They’ve released dozens of albums, probably close to a hundred if you count all of the albums attributed to various members, so that was a very daunting task… though really what it highlighted was the sheer volume of songs that just are not available to be heard in digital form. Those songs take on a sort of mythic quality as we listen to the huge variety of styles and periods that this band passed through in their prolific and very obscure career. But the ones that loom in the imagination the largest, for Paige and me, are the songs attributed to Antoine Dougbé. He writes for the band but doesn’t record with them, and in most cases Melomé Clement arranges the songs — and these are some of Melomé’s finest arrangements, in my opinion. “Towe Nin” isn’t a propulsive powerhouse like the Dougbé tracks on “Legends of Benin,” but it does have tons of style, and the band sounds extremely confident. My favorite detail of many — like, listen to the shaker solo in the middle! — on this track is the final passage, where three voices suddenly meld into an extremely Western, Beatle-y harmonic finale (with an unresolved final chord). Where did that come from?! It blows my mind to think about how these guys were hearing music and writing music in Benin in the ’70s…

2. Hürel - “Ve Ölüm” - “Tip Top” soundtrack

The other night we watched a DVD that was part of our Non-Classic French Cinema Program that Paige has been drafting for us, featuring movies she figures French people would know but that didn’t get exposed to American audiences. This one was… baffling — the problems were French cultural ones that we really didn’t grok at all. Which was kind of cool. An odd detail was that this song featured prominently throughout the trailer and the film, though we couldn’t figure out, like, why. But we knew immediately that it was awesome.

And… this track sent us down the rabbit hole of Anatolian rock, which turns out to be Turkish psych music from the ’60s & ’70s. We’ve played Erkin Koray’s “Cemalim” and thought that was cool, but had no idea it was a burgeoning scene with tons of creative writers and amazing songs. We’ve spent a lot of time checking out Anatolian music since, and I can tell we’re just getting started. So: thank you to a giant French crowdpleaser movie for the Anatolian clue-in!

3. They Might Be Giants - “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Clothes” 

I was not expecting to experience a They Might Be Giants renaissance at this point in my life, but this is just further proof that time has a lot of tricks up its sleeve. This song tells me a lot about what I like now by re-presenting what I liked then, showing off completely new facets I hadn’t yet appreciated. This song is lousy with insights… including that super Slanted Malkmus-y scream at the very end!)

4. Jacqueline Taïeb - “La fac de lettres”

Jacqueline Taïeb is probably my single favorite French pop artist, even though her body of work is way smaller than most of the runners-up. (I would say the closest contender is Jacque Dutronc.) She’s so full of irrepressible character, it just bubbles up out of the vocal performances. Her biggest hit was “7 heures du matin,” in the character of a bored, rock-obsessed teenager trying to figure out what to wear to school that morning, and “La fac du lettres” kind of picks up the thread: now she’s in the auditorium at school, learning about British history — the invasion of Normandy, the Hundred Years’ War — and pining to get back to the recording studio. 

5. La Card - “Jedno zbogom za tebe”

I didn’t know what circumstance would call for Yugoslavian synth pop warped by endless cassette plays, but it turns out that driving a thousand miles west in one fell swoop requires a certain amount of ’80s vibes. Turns out Yugoslavia had a pretty rich punk/new wave scene in the ’80s, and even though the songs were often critical of the Communist government, they were not only allowed to be played but, to a certain extent, supported by the government, and there were also several magazines covering punk, new wave, ska (!), and rock music in Yugoslavia.

6. Suicide - “Shadazz” 

Maybe it’s the band name, but I was never able to find a place for myself in the music of Suicide, despite how many bands I dig who cite them. But Paige pulled this track, and now I’m starting to get it. I also really like how the kick drum fits against the cymbal-ish sound loop that leads the percussion. 

7. Girma Beyene - “Ene Negn Bay Manesh”

Man, Ethiopia was swingin so hard in the ’60s and ’70s! This track combines the organ-driven band dynamic with a smooth Western vocal croon that I’ve never quite heard before. 

8. Os Mutantes - “Trem Fantasma” 

I still can’t believe that I haven’t been listening to this album my whole life — it’s so freaking amazing from beginning to end. Every song feels like its own complete cinematic experience, with narrative twists and turns, a high-drama dynamic, and each voice taking on a host of characters, independently and together. “Trem Fantasma” is an entire album contained in a single song — and that’s what it’s like with every song on their debut album. PLUS it’s got the coolest possible cover. Truly, I’m still in awe at this album. It makes me wonder: what did the Beatles think of this record?! 

9. The Beatles - “Think for Yourself” 

This is one of those songs that I feel like established whole new harmony relationships in Western pop… and this likely isn’t even one of their top 50 songs for most Beatles fans. Apparently, they had the main tracks recorded already — this is one of George’s first songs, it’s just 1965 — and they threw the harmonies on in “a light-hearted session” between two other things they were in the middle of, because they were under pressure to get this album finished. That’s amazing! Also, this song is the first one to use a fuzzbox on a bass: Paul played one (excellent) part on clean bass, and another one one all fuzzed out, which became the lead guitar — in fact, John had a guitar part but scrapped it to play an organ instead. What a righteous song to kick off the concept of lead bass guitar! That was Harvey Danger’s big compositional secret: Aaron wrote and played most of the lead guitar parts on bass, and had a fantastic sense of what he could do with the tone of his instrument. 

10. Erkin Koray - “Öksürük” 

Anatolian rock! It has its own note scale, that gives it this Eastern tonality while working in Western rock shapes and with what feels like a very relatably wry sense of humor. Erkin Koray is right up there in the firmament for us — the whole genre is full of welcome discoveries, but Koray is a really unique guitarist and composer beyond any particular genre. This track plays up his lead guitar passages while maintaining a pretty undeniable disco downbeat, and his vocal delivery strikes me as more French than anything. And yet the whole thing is so deeply and fully Turkish.

11. Vaudou Game - “Pas Contente”

We’ve been so head-over-heels for Beninese funk and rock from the ’60s and ’70s that our fantasies about that music are completely separated from any music happening today. But Vaudou Game is led by Peter Solo, a Togolese musician who grew up on the sound of T.P. Orchestre and decided to work with it himself. His band is handpicked and mostly I think French — the sound is I think a really impressive take on classic Beninese style but with very modern feel. This track is from 2014. I’m looking forward to digging in some more, because it’s a thrill to find a live wire in this music style. 

12. Cut Off Your Hands - “Higher Lows and Lower Highs”

This is one of my favorite tracks from the last 5 years. I get so absorbed in the way the bass part relates to all of the other pieces. The bass is absolutely the reason this song works — just tune into it and check out how the whole world of the song bends to accommodate it.

The Gang of Roesli - “Don’t Talk about Freedom”

Years ago, when I took over Eleven magazine, there was a giant stack of mailed-in CDs in the editor’s office. I didn’t hang onto many of them, but there was a set from Now-Again Records that just looked like something we should spend more time with. Turns out that one of them was “Those Shocking Shaking Days,” a collection of trippy, heavy Indonesian rock. I didn’t get it at the time, but lately I’ve certainly been picking up what they were laying down. The baroque keys, the vocal la’s, the hitched-up bass and guitar, that little bass lick, the harmonica… I would love to have been around for the session this came from. 

13. Warm Gun - “Broken Windows” - “PAINK”

More paink from France, in the mode of Richard Hell, short sweet and rowdy.

14. Duo Kribo - “Uang” - “Those Shocking Shaking Days”

This is another amazing Indonesian track — amazing for a completely different reason than The Gang of Roesli. Such a note-perfect rendition of chart-topping American (and German — what’s up, Scorps?) rock, but their own song nonetheless! This song attracts me, repels me, attracts me, repels me, on and on in equal measure. To me the kicker is the outro section, which sounds like something Eko Roosevelt came up with… thousands of miles and many genres away from Duo Kribo.

15. The Real Kids - “All Kindsa Girls”

Even as the theoretical pleasures of Facebook overall continue to recede, I find myself glad of a FB group somebody let me in on: Now Playing. The only stipulation about posts is that you have to include a photo of the actual record that you are actually playing — beyond that, it could be any genre, any period, whatever. People post interesting albums all the time, and will often write up their thoughts or memories about the band when they do. Boston’s The Real Kids just sounded like something I should know about, so I hunted it down and man, they were not wrong. Not everything on the album was for us, but right from the African-sounding guitar intro, “All Kindsa Girls” certainly was. Lead guitar/vocal guy John Felice was an early member of the Modern Lovers and a fellow VU devotee with his neighbor Jonathan Richman — he also spent time as a Ramones roadie. I’m tickled by how much the penultimate guitar riff sounds like something off the first Vampire Weekend album, and the final riff was destined to become a punk classic.

16. De Frank Professionals - “Afe Ato Yen Bio” 

We broadcast the first part of this episode from the cockpit of the van rocketing between New York and Illinois. Not long after we got here to the woods, a package showed up from Analog Africa with our new “Afro-Beat Airways” reissue, as well as their first indispensable T.P. Orchestre collection, “The Skeletal Essences of Afro-Funk 1969-1980.” We’re celebrating that record with this absolutely killer song by De Frank Professionals, a band about whom very little is known. I am in love with every part of this song, from the sixth-beat hi-hat accent to those tandem vocal parts and that beautiful guitar tone. This track has quickly risen to being one of our all-time faves. Bless Samy Ben Redjeb and everyone at AA for doing the work to find these amazing recordings, track down the musicians, pay them for rights to release, and making these miraculous finds available!

17. Ros Serey Sothea - “Shave Your Beard” 

Concurrent to our African fascination has been the gorgeous and thoroughly tragic revelation of Cambodia’s richly talented and expressive rock scene that was utterly destroyed by the Khmer Rouge. There were so many amazing musicians in the scene, but certainly the most flat-out amazing voice was Ros Serey Sothea’s, as this track makes clear. I also love just how sophsticated and innovative these Cambodian song arrangements are — they really take Western ’60s pop into a new world, with intricate guitar parts and really solidly satisfying instrumental structures.

18. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - “O.N.E.”

This is a hard band to keep up with, for a variety of reasons — they can be so intense, and their guitar-rock prog virtuosity can get a bit off-putting if you’re not ready for it. This track, though, reminds me of a host of favorite reference points from the last twenty years of rock. This recording makes me wish that they could have played with Bailiff in Chicago in 2012 — I think everyone would have gained a lot from that connection.

Also, the video is so beautiful!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkZd2lBQb2c

19. Ettika - “Ettika” - “Chebran: French Boogie Vol. 2”

French culture is shot through with African references. Ettika was an early ’80s hit with musicians besotted by synths and American rap styles. This band was produced by a noted French composer who was married to a Cameroonian and very much into African groove. This “French Boogie” collection is full of African-style gems heavily refracted through the decade’s new technology.

20. Spice Girls - “Wannabe”

I yield the floor.

*As I mention in the “broadcast” it just felt right. That confident opening line. What are guilty pleasures? How do you feel listening to this song? And y’all already have our phone numbers, so that’s no surprise!

- The Gang of Roesli - “Don’t Talk about Freedom”

21. Steely Dan - “Reelin’ in the Years”

Gut reaction: do you actually love this song? Do you actually hate this song? Do you find that your reaction changes moment by moment within the experience of listening to the song, where your personal experience clashes with your cultural memory associations? Me too.

22. Zia - “Kofriom” - “Helel Yos”

I don’t remember how I got to this track, but holy smokes am I glad we did! It’s pretty freakin hard to find out anything about Zia. The cover of this album portrays an older man with dyed hair and a white blazer over a black collar… but I did actually find a video of Zia performing this song on Iranian public television, and he looks considerably younger and less flash than that. In fact, he’s sporting a tan three-piece suit with a wide tie, all alone on a heavily mirrored stage, and he kind of looks like he might be running for a senate seat in his spare time. It’s a very weird effect. But meanwhile: this whole album is super cool, very expressive of an emotional state I definitely don’t understand. The handclaps are absolutely top notch in the rhythm — they remind me of Ayalew Mesfin’s awesome “Gedawo.”

23. Jo LeMaire & Flouze - “Je Suis Venue te Dire Que je M’en Vais”

Doesn’t this sound like something you could have had intense adolescent feelings to? 

*I first heard this song in the trailer for Boy Meets Girl  and then later in the film. (Not my personal favorite Carax but definitely great, and the music and sound design is top notch.) Then my French teacher suggested I check out a song, and it was this song. So that’s neat!

24. Rung Petchburi - “Pai Joi” - “Thai? Dai!: The Heavier Side of the Lukthung Underground”

We’re still just getting to know Lukthung music, but for the last couple weeks we’ve been getting deeper and deeper into Thai rock, psych, surf and funk. It’s a rich vein, and it shares some really interesting characteristics with seemingly unrelated regions, like Turkey and Ethiopia.

Black Brothers - “Saman Doye”

I’m telling you, “Those Shocking Shaking Days” will improve your life immediately.

25. Nahid Akhtar - “Dil de Guitar” - from “Good Listener Vol 1,” 

This collection just came out this month, which was a surprise because we just stumbled across this track by reading about Nahid Akhtar elsewhere. What an AMAZING track! This was recorded and released in Pakistan in 1977, and I can’t even imagine how they wrote it, much less recorded it. The drum loops seem like they hadn’t been invented yet… but there they are, cranked up to their highest speed. It’s a collage of ideas and hooks, all just crammed together into a single song. the main hook reminds me a bit of “Jogi Jogi,” our favorite Pakistani song on WBFF thus far. I feel like I could listen to this song a hundred times and hear something new each time. Akhtar’s voice is so expressive and confident in those long held notes — and who is that ogre doing call and response with her? So weird. So cool.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Roadkill- Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,082

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

As Molly lead the way to the Cabin, Sam was talking to her to keep her busy and you were trailing behind with Dean, looking up at him.

“How are we going to break it to her? If she acted this way when she found out we were hunters, how do you think she’ll react to the fact that she’s dead?” You whispered.

“I know but right now, one problem at a time. Here,” Dean said, reaching into the bag and handing you a shotgun with rocksalt bullets. You smiled and took the gun, checking it over, before bringing it to your side.

“This is it. This is where I saw him.” Molly said, stopping as she pointed to a cabin that didn’t look too friendly. You walked up to the door and peered inside, seeing vicious tools hanging from the ceiling and a bloodstained table.

“Must have been his hunting cabin.” You stated.

“Huh. Seemed like a real sweet guy.” Dean said from behind you, looking inside.

“No markers or headstones outside.” Sam said after he finished a quick look around the place.

“You’re looking for Greeley’s grave? Why?” Molly asked.

“So we can dig up his bones and salt and burn them.” You said, not sugarcoating it at all.

“Oh. Sure, naturally.” Molly said with a small scoff.

“It's a way to get rid of a spirit.” Sam said.

“And that will save David?”

“Well, this is what will help the both of you, provided there is a corpse to be found.” You said, walking closer to her.

“So, how do we find it?” Molly asked determined.

“I'm not sure. After Greeley died, his wife claimed the body and that was the last anyone saw of her. So, good guess she brought him back here. But they had a thousand acres. He could be buried anywhere on them.” Sam said with a sigh.

“So, this is really what you guys do? You're like Ghostbusters?”

“That’s one way of putting it but we’re the real deal. We’re not Ed and Harry if you know what I mean.” You chuckled at the memory of the Ghostfacers. You kind of missed those two gentlemen.

“No, I don’t.” She said, shuffling.

“This is a fascinating conversation and all, but this highway is only haunted once a year, and we got till sun-up to wrap this thing up. What do you say we move it along, okay? Great.” Dean said, patting your shoulder and walked ahead of you, leading the way around the property.

“Ed and Harry were these two amateur ghost hunters that didn’t know what they were doing.” You said to Molly, following the brothers.

“I wonder what happened to those two.” Sam said, looking at you but you shrugged.

“So, what are we looking for?” Molly asked.

“Greeley’s house. We think he might be buried there. Why don’t you look for paths or something that’s close by. You don’t want to go too far from us.” You said with a smile.

“Yeah, okay.” She said with a sigh. She started walking and all was silent and before you knew it, she was calling out her husband’s name in a panic, running away from the group.

“Molly!” You exclaimed, looking at the brothers. You heard her scream and you didn’t wait for them to follow you. You rushed over to her and saw Greeley who had a hold of her. You raised your shotgun and shot the taller spirit, making him go away.

“Hey are you alright?” You asked, rushing to her.

“What has that son of a bitch done with my husband?” Molly demanded, getting more tears.

“Just take it easy, alright? You're gonna see David again. You will.” You promised her. She nodded and you looked up when you saw Sam rushing to you with a look of concern on his face.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, I took care of it. Come on, Molly.” You took her back to Dean who looked back at the group.

“Hey, follow the creepy brick road.” Dean stated, pointing out a path in front of him. You let go of Molly and walked to Dean, letting her be with Sam.

“What’s that gun loaded with anyway?” Molly asked you as she caught up. Sam was behind her to make sure nothing snuck up behind them.

“Rocksalt. It keeps the spirits away. In most cultures, salt's a symbol of purity, so it repels impure and unnatural things. Same reason you throw it over your shoulder.” You informed. You rounded a corner and came upon a creepy ass house.

“You know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house.” Dean said with a sigh.

“Come on, you scared?” You grinned, teasing him. You walked ahead of them and entered the house, looking around the place. Sam entered with Molly but Dean stayed outside, looking around for what you assumed was a headstone. When he came back in, you looked at him.

“Any headstones outside?”

“Yeah, right. Is it ever that easy?” Dean asked. You sighed and shrugged, looking away from him.

“I wish it were sometimes.”

“How about you take Molly upstairs to see if you can find anything and Sam and I will check down here and see if we can find some sign of a headstone.” Dean said. You nodded and took Molly upstairs, walking into a room that was filled with scattered papers.

“Awesome.” You said with a sigh, walking inside and started to look through the mess.

“Hey, look at this,” Molly said. You turned around to see her with a scrapbook. You walked to the bed in the room and sat down with her, looking at the pictures and its contents. “It's Greeley and his wife. Look, this one had a love letter that he wrote her. My god, it's beautiful. I don't understand how a guy like this can turn into that monster.”

“Listen, Greeley may not have been all that bad. See, spirits are like wounded animals, for example. They get lost and they are in so much pain that they lash out.” You said, looking at her.

“Why? Why are they here?”

“Well, some part of them thinks they have unfinished business which keeps them here. 9 out of 10 times, it’s their bones but sometimes they latch onto an object or a memory that can keep them here if their bones are gone.” You said, hoping she might understand about herself.

“What do you mean, unfinished business?”

“It could be revenge or love or hate. But, whatever it may be, they just hold onto that so tight that they fear of letting go of the thing that they know. They get caught in time loops, replaying the same tragedies over and over again.” You hoped she would open her eyes for just a minute to see her situation.

“You sound almost sorry for them.” She observed. You stood up and sighed, continuing looking for something else.

“Can’t help it sometimes. I read about these people’s lives before they died and most of them were good people. But then they die and it’s sad to see them change into something they aren’t. My mom died when I was a kid and now I wonder where she is and if she’s okay or if she’s living out some tragedy that she can’t control.”

Your mind went back to what Meg said about your mom being in Hell but that can’t be. Your mom was a good person. She should be in Heaven where she would be happy all the time, maybe hanging out with grandma and grandpa. You hoped that Meg was lying.

“Y/N and I are very different people because I don’t like them and I am sure as hell not making apologies for them,” Dean said from the doorway with Sam behind him. You looked at him with sad eyes and you sighed, looking away from him. “There was nothing downstairs. You find anything up here?”

“We found a photo album but nothing about a grave.” You said, turning your body around and leaning on the desk. Dean nodded and started searching the walls as if he saw something the rest didn’t.

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Molly said, looking at you.

“I’m sorry about you.” You said, not realizing what you said.

“What?”

“I mean, I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. I can’t imagine if I ever lost Dean. I love him so much.” You said quietly to her, looking at Dean who kept looking at the same wall with a frown.

“What is it?” Sam asked, seeing the same frown as you.

“There is something behind this wall,” Dean stated. He tossed Sam his flashlight to make both of his hands available. Sam provided the light as Dean moved a cabinet aside, revealing a small hidden door. He pushed on it but it wouldn’t budge.

“It’s locked from the inside.” Dean observed, turning to face you and leaning against the wall, bracing himself to kick it down. He swiftly kicked it once but it wouldn’t budge. He frowned, shocked that this didn’t work on the first try. Dean tried it again and the door fell inward.

“Wow, must be the secret attic,” You joked, following the brothers inside the room. You coughed at the smell, it being very potent. “It smells like old lady in here.” You looked around with your flashlight and gasped, seeing a corpse hanging by the neck from the ceiling.

“And that would explain why. Well, now we know why nobody ever saw her again.” Sam said, grimacing.

“Whoa, I guess she didn’t want to live without him.” Molly said once she crawled inside the room. Sam looked around and grabbed a chair as if he wanted to take her down.

“Dean, give me a hand.”

“Really?” Dean asked, looking at Sam as he climbed the chair.

“What are you doing?” Molly asked.

“We can't leave her like this.” Sam said, as if this was the right thing to do.

“Why not?” Dean asked.

“Dean, don’t be insensitive.” You said, hitting him lightly in the arm.

“She needs to be put to rest, Dean.” Sam said, beginning to cut through the ropes as Dean reluctantly held the corpse to steady it.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean muttered, grimacing.

“Don’t be a baby, Dean. She won’t hurt you.” You said, an amused smile on your face. He glared at you but didn’t say a thing. Once Sam got her down, Dean let Sam take her and you four managed to get her out of the tiny room and outside where Sam and Dean started to dig a grave for her.

“So... So, if you manage to put Greeley to rest, too... What happens to them?” Molly asked. You bit your lip, not having an answer for her. You never knew where they went after they died.

“Lady, that answer is way beyond our pay grade.” Dean said, grunting as he dug.

“You hunt these things, but you don't know what happens to them?”

“Well, they never come back. That's all that matters.” Dean shrugged. You looked at her and you knew that answer didn’t satisfy her.

“After they let go of whatever's keeping them here, they just go. I hope someplace better, but we don't know. No one does.” You said, looking at Sam who agreed with you.

“What happens when you burn their bones?” Molly asked.

“Umm... Well, my dad used to say that was like death for ghosts, you know? But, the truth is, we still don't know. Not for sure. Guess that's why we all hold on to life so hard. Even the dead. We're all just scared of the unknown.” Sam said, giving the digging a rest.

Him and Dean laid Greeley’s wife inside and buried her where she should belong.

“The only thing I'm scared of is losing David. I have to see him again. I have to.” Molly said with a sad sigh.

“Look, when I make a promise, I keep them and I promise you that you will see him. But we have to deal with Greeley first.” You said, looking at Sam and Dean.

“Come on, there has to be more in that house that we’re missing.” Dean said, leading the group back into the house and back into the room with the photo album. Speaking of, Molly was holding it, looking through it as she paced the room.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith  @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place​ @dreaminofdean @posiemax​ @donnaintx​ @mikey1822​ @alexandriajanae4​ @li-ssu​ @just-another-winchester​ @obsessivecompulsivespn​ @emoryhemsworth​ @newtospnfandom​ @mizzezm​ @goldenolaf25​ @jessikared97​

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278​ @mega-mrs-dean-winchester​ @winchesterandpie​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @carribear31​ @tacklesackles​ @oreosatmidnight​ @not-naturalfangirl​ @missselinakitty​ @iam-a-cutiepie​  @kristendansmith​ @milo-winchester-4ever​ @jensenackesl​ @codyshany316​ @pheonyxstorm​ @helllonearth​ @juniorhuntersam​ @pouterpufftrain​ @ruprecht0420​ @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012​ @aubreystilinski​

Series Rewrite Junkies:

@helllonearth​ @amyisabellal​ @deanwnchstr​ @caseykitten6​ @quixoticcat​ @supernaturalblogging​ @notmoose45​  @crowleysminion​ @mina22​ @tahbehonest​ @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels​ @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight​ @valerieshubin​ @seninjakitey​ @flyonlittlewinchester​  @aubreystilinski​ @rocketqueeens​ @emilygracespellins​

#Supernatural series rewrite #Roadkill #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x reader #spn series rewrite #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x reader insert #dean #dean angst #dean fic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #series rewrite #series rewrite masterlist #dean winchester series rewrite #season 2 episode 16 #s2e16 #s2e16 spoilers #spoilers #spn #spn spoilers #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #sam #sammy #Sam Winchester #bobby #bobby singer

[vpuype-blog]

How Oasis saved my life.

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me”

One of the better known lines in the Oasis hit -Wonderwall-. But here’s the funny thing, they actually saved me, prevented me from killing myself and prevented me from falling into a dark hole where i would have never been able to crawl out of, back into the light.

It was the summer of 2017, known to me as ‘the summer of heartbreak’ or ‘the worst summer of my life’ or ‘the summer of tears’. Or maybe even all of these at once. I was a stupid fool, made some bad decisions and lost the love of my life. My high school sweetheart, my babydoll, my little girl. I lost her, and with her i lost the ability to enjoy the sun on my face, the smell of the evening rain, the stars in the summersky late at night. I lost the ability to enjoy rock ‘n roll and be part of the myth. I lost the ability to write songs, to write lyrics, i lost the ability to play. But the most important thing, i lost happiness. 

“Losing her was like losing the rain”

She broke up with me on the 4th of September. It was the toughest period of time i ever went through. Today, two months have gone by and i can honestly say it was a very rough period, but i learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me. In only two months time, i learned to differentiate my real friends from the phonies, i found out what i wanted to do in life and what i had to change about myself. 

A friend of mine left town in September, he went to study abroad in Milan. One night, right before he left, he called me in the middle of the night. He asked me if he could crash at my place cause he had no place to go. I let him in. That was the start of a long chain of conversations with this guy about life and what it all means. He told me i should check out the documentary ‘supersonic’, about a band called ‘Oasis’. So i did. Their attitude towards people, society and life in general shook me. Noel’s amazing songwriting and Liam’s great voice made me dig deeper into their music. Of course there were a few songs i already knew like ‘wonderwall’ or ‘don’t look back in anger’, but there was so much more just waiting to be discovered. So many great lines, big rock ‘n roll riffs and attitude, attitude, attitude, attitude. Liam Gallagher is one piece of arrogance and attitude, but man do i love to see that guy sing. He really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what anyone thinks about him. Neither does Noel. They’re just two brothers with an incredible talent displayed in all these great albums.

Because of the fact that i still love my girl (well,.. ex-girlfriend), i really didn’t feel the need to go out. Cause i didn’t want to see all these girls begging for attention, or couples eating each other’s faces. I wanted to be on my own. But i happen to have great friends and they wouldn’t let me be on my own. So instead of going out, they came over to my place. Always one friend, or two, maybe three. But no matter the group, i was always in good company. These where the nights where i talked a lot, and by that i mean A LOT. After a few drinks and ‘sandwiches’, these conversations started to get serious. It all came down to one thing, i miss my girl, i think it’s unfair that she was taken from me, and if i could go back and fix what i had damaged, i would. But you can never go back, i had to acquiesce the fact that she’s gone. In the background of our conversations, there was always one band playing ‘oasis’, songs like ‘half the world away’, ‘live forever’, ‘the masterplan’, ‘champagne supernova’.. Always seemed to make me realize that there was more to life than the heartache i was feeling at the time. It made me realize that ‘NOW’ is more important than the past or the future. When we were high we listened to ‘champagne supernova’ and we talked about all the people that were gone. We listened to that song over and over again and silently sang along, ‘How many special people change? How many lives are livin strange? Where were you while we were getting high?’. We sat there, night after night, with our faces in the sky smiling at each other like idiots saying ‘these are the best nights of our lives’. And i do believe they are, i long for these nights cause they make me realize that all that i am, and all that i’ll ever be is because of the people that take care of me when i’m at my lowest. And i’ll never forget these moments of pure happiness. How a good friend can make you forget all the heartache in the world. 

Being alone is hard, it makes me think about all that i’ve done wrong and all that i could’ve done better. This is where Oasis is really important to me. Their music always tells me that i’m great, that i’m perfectly imperfect, that i’m a rock ‘n roll star, i’m supersonic, i’m awesome. It gives me the feeling i can take on the world and i do. I do take on the world, i started playing again, more viciously than ever, i started writing again, i started dreaming again, i started living again… Let them talk, i’m a rock ‘n roll star. 

The first 4 weeks after the break up, i went to bed as early as i could, so i could sleep untill tomorrow and forget about my sorrow (funny thing, it rhymes). It was hard falling asleep tho, because i kept thinking ‘does she have someone else, has she kissed anyone yet? is she thinking about me?’. I used to play the song ‘talk tonight’ and ‘half the world away’ on repeat during lonely nights. They gave me a sense of existence, of self-awareness. ‘Half the world away’ actually gave me the idea that i didn’t need anyone else to be happy, that i could leave this damned city at any given time. It made me feel free. Like Liam sings in ‘whatever’, ‘i’m free to be whatever i, whatever i choose and i’ll sing the blues if i want’. I am free, i am a crooked, weird looking, human being, but i’m free. I play rock ‘n roll and i’m good at it, i can move people and i’m proud of it. I have great friends and i cherish them, i have a wonderful family and i can’t wait to start my own. I’m free, Oasis made me feel free, for the first time in forever, i’m free.

Oasis is freedom, rock ‘n roll, happiness, carelessness, it’s long nights of getting high with friends, it’s great car rides to unknown places, it’s concerts, lights, and smiles. It’s a ‘fuck you all, i know what i’m doing and i do what i do best’ -attitude. It’s arrogance and humility all at once. It’s self-respect and respect for others. Oasis saved my life, brought the sun back into my life, it made me breathe again, smell the night again, it made me enjoy the rain on my skin, it made me enjoy life again. Oasis saved my life, like no other band could’ve done right now. I don’t look back in anger, i’m grateful for the lessons i’ve learned and the people i’ve met along the way.

‘wherever this road may guide me, it will always guide me home’

And to my friends, family and everyone i love

-You and i we’re gonna live forever-

#Oasis #noelgallagher #liamgallagher #liveforever #champagnesupernova #wonderwall #don'tlookbackinanger #halftheworldaway #music #musicsavedme #love #friends #high #whatever #breakup #story #truestory #freedom #acquiesce

[smengus]

favorite kpop songs of 2017 from a fan who got into kpop the beginning of this year

aye!! 2018 is almost here, and i have been DYING to make a favorite songs/mvs in kpop of this year thing. it has been a fucking ride let me tell you.... first things first, just to celebrate this year and give myself some leeway, there will be 17 songs!! and they are in no particular order!! i am not a favorites person, i have too much love in my pitiful heart.... anyway, lets start!!

17. movie - btob (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42A-rFdralM)     there are many things i love about this song. i got into kpop quite literally the very beginning of this year, and thats wild, but this song was one of the first of many i had heard, and didnt know much about then but love now. i specifically remember going through that one hot 100 kpop song playlist on youtube and finding this one, and instantly love it. its one of the classics of this years, and def opened my mind to a lot more. 

love’s like a movie~

16. really really - winner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tBnF46ybZk)    ohhhhh my god i could go on and on about this song. out of all the wonderful kpop songs weve been blessed with this year, this is the one that’s consistently stuck, and everyone knows it. its just that song. the music video is gorgeous and diverse but so simplistic with the black and white. dare i say its iconic; all of it.

널 좋아해~

15. rookie/red flavor/peek-a-boo - red velvet (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0h8-OTC38I) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyiIGEHQP8o) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uJf2IT2Zh8)    ok, so yall are gonna hate me for literally putting all of their 2017 title tracks but oh my god... every single comeback they had this year was amazing, and id feel like id be playing someone if i just chose one or the other. like most sm groups, its not hard to absolutely love all of their songs. but in terms of aesthetic, sound, and all around look, red velvet killed it this year. so there. hope yall are satisfied with this.

peek a booooo~

14. fine - taeyeon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHXUM-6a3dU)    to keep this b/b/g/g pattern going, im choosing this one next and dear lord. this is another song id heard in the very beginning, and i was... frankly i was shocked. like, btob was surprising, but it was what i expected it be: boy group, fun, catchy, etc., but with taeyeon... god, her voice and the whole video... i was tearing up, not gonna lie. the lyrics especially got to me. its been in most of my playlists consistently this year, and i cant say the rest of the album isnt a must listen, just a recommendation from me personally.

its not fine~

13. dramarama - monsta x (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1afdZk0qcI)

 ok, i had a hard time on this one. its common knowledge they went through 3 major comebacks this year, all of which were amazing, but originally, beautiful is what stuck with me. i love the heck out of that song. then dramarama dropped a little over a month ago and... lets just say thats what convinced me to finally start stanning them for real. i have a thing for story driven music videos (bonus points if the story is actually mad good), so combine that with the absolutely amazing song and choreography, and you get their best comeback yet. honestly, it was so good, i urge yall to check it out if you havent.

dramama ramama ramama hey~

12. cherry bomb - nct 127 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkuHLzMMTZM)

 this song... THIS SONG... oh my god. i dont have an in depth discussion over the music video or the song or any of it but good lord... if youve heard it you know what im talking about. its another one of THOSE songs. its too bad it was generally slept on, but god... can i add i also love the choreography??? like a lot???? im the biggest hit on this stage~

11. palette - iu (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9IxdwEFk1c)

 yall KNOW i wasnt gonna put this one off any longer. this is also the song that got me to start stanning this wonderful, amazing, beautiful, spectacularly awesome woman. she’s great. and this comeback?? ive easily listened to the whole album about 50+ times. i was going to put ending scene instead since i adore that one too, but this is the one that really stuck out to everyone. aesthetics?? on point. lyrics?? poetic. voice?? like an angel. lmao, i really love iu...

i like it, im 25~

10. as if its your last - blackpink (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Amq-qlqbjYA)

 ok the best part about this one was... since i was a new baby fan, at the time, the only group i really like, stanned, was bts. but i wasnt shut off from the rest of the music community tho, ofc. thats what im truly into kpop for: the music. so duh, i knew about blackpink and their bops (whistle was a personal favorite of mine). but for some reason, over time, they casually just became another group i was into? like, i knew the names, voices, roles, songs, etc.. so when i heard they were having a summer comeback, while i was free from school no less, i was ecstatic. i rewatched the teaser several times, stayed up and hyped with people online. and it finally dropped and instantly became my favorite song by them. its so goooood. my wife lisa, like, yas baby slay that rap while looking cute af. i love it very much, and im sure other blinks do too.

blackpink in your area~

9. dont wanna cry - seventeen (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97cx53Tpp6g)

 yeahhh, im not gonna choose their most recent comeback for this one, sorry guys... its a good song, dont get me wrong but! this one is the one lmao. its so fucking beautiful. when i watched the mv for the first time, i was in awe cause the choreo was so good, and so different from what i had seen before, but it went with the song so well. its a very good listen.

울고 싶지 않아~

8. move - taemin (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcEyUNeZqmY)

 yes. yes. yes. this song??? yes. oh my god. so, this next bit is gonna be a bit sad (to read and to write), but just because an explanation is needed for each of these... im a shawol. i was the second i watched 1 of 1. and god, it still hurts so much to think of what happened? but, this explanation is taemin. so, i was into shinee, period. i knew taemin was a solo artist. i dont know why i wasnt paying close attention to it, but one day move just like, dropped. out of nowhere. and i went ‘where tf...?’ and watched it and OH MY GOD. i cant convey on here well enough, but bitch, i rewatched that shit repeatedly. the song was constantly replayed, and it finally pushed me to take the step and go back and listen to all his other stuff (which i love). its just so... androgynous and he dont give a flying fuck how he looks, dances, or sounds, and i adore it. definitely another THAT song of this year, dear lord.

youve got got the rhythm~

7. 1+1=0 - suran (ft. dean) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA6G74gk6R8)

 ok, i was torn over this one. i bet everyone and their mother knows her for her “collab” with my boy suga, if i get drunk today. and YES!! THAT IS AN AMAZING SONG AND IM STILL SO PROUD OF BOTH OF THEM. but bitch, this had dropped sometime whenever, idk when since i dont stan and her, and i saw it on youtube and thought  ‘shes the suga girl, i wonder if thisll be good’. i was so surprised when i listened to it. the music video?? snatched. the song?? snatched. wig?? bitch its gone. lets just say, first listen, i had already loved it way more than the song i originally knew her by. 

1 plus 1은 0~

6. ddd - exid (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axVvZrDz60k)

 i put this one off long enough too. and this is obviously a very split opinion. they also dropped night rather than day which i am also 100% over the moon for. but god, i love sexy exid. and that is exactly what this comeback was. sexy, powerful, and aesthetically catchy as hell. (btw, exid is another group i actually stan, so i had been anticipating this one; i watched it while i was at school dusbgukg). so sad solji couldnt physically make it this comeback, but she was in the album, and that was enough for us. still wishing her the best recovery!

덜덜덜덜~

5. dont recall - kard (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41Dp7Q-SM1Y)

 oh kard. the group that had millions of fans before they even debuted... they gave us many tasty treats this year, all of which were total bops, but dont recall... bruh, its just stuck with me. i still know all the others, but when i think kard i immdiately think the of the legendary beat drop tied with the beautiful mv of dont recall. also another THAT song, no doubt. sorry i dont have much for this one, i dont know much about kard, but this song has personally been a go to of mine for the past many months. 

그만해 i dont recall~

4. ko ko bop - exo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdssuxDdqKk)

 lmao, you will not catch me in a 10 mile radius even THINKING about power. i drink to forget. its cute and all but... mmmm.... ANYWAY. im gonna be totally honest, i really love their 2016 year in terms of music more than i did this one (lotto, lucky one, monster, etc., etc., etc.,) BUT! out of the comebacks they had this year, i am 100% 10x more into ko ko bop. not gonna lie, i didnt dig it at first listen. but a little later, i tried it again and... hooo boy, what a good song. i dont know anything knowledge based about music or music production, but i know that ko ko bop is a good song. very good.

shimmy shimmy ko ko bop~

3. gashina - sunmi (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur0hCdne2-s)

 ok. OK! so... yall gonna hate me, but i intentionally put off listening to this for the longest time. why?? i have no clue, its a great song. but i did. so by the time mama 2017 (IK THAT LATE) came around and i found out my boy taemin would be doing a collab stage with sunmi i was like... ‘ok i need to know who this girl is...’ i FINALLY sat my butt down and watched it and BITCH. okokokok, scroll back up, skim that taemin one, and imagine all those feelings, except like, gay. like, instead of thinking it was inspiring, i was just thirsting and being absolutely in love because holy shit everything about the song and the video are perfect????? THE LYRICS THOUGH TOO??? absolute women power i was 100% there for jesus christ.  왜 예쁜 날 두고 가시나~ 2. snow - zion.t (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiGSDywrX1Y)    this song made me cry :( straight up, when i first watched it, i cried so much. it got even worse the second go round when i knew the lyrics. its so.... beautiful. im a big fan of zion.t as well, so this was no disappoint for me. i luv it... and fun fact, its my favorite music video ever, kpop or not. im very into cinematography and photography so it was such a treat to watch it. youd have to watch it for yourself to know what i was talking about. 

눈이 올까요~

1. anything from bts this year (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBdVXkSdhwU << this is dna just cause i dont wanna post 3 songs lol)

 yall honest to god probably hate me. ‘we just read this whole list to get a biased, lazy ass answer?!?!’ but hear me out... lmao thats all i got. bts is my ult group, but ult group or not, every single thing they dropped this year was spectacular. truly honest to god, its probably been their best year yet. jk, idk about that, 2015 and 2016 were pretty good. BUT STILL. spring day, not today, dna (lots of ayes), ALL OF IT SO FUCKING GOOD. gosh, i love them...

 dna~

well, thats all of them! keep in mind, this is a personal opinion thing, and there many, many, MANY songs of this year i loved, but this is a list and its gotta end somewhere, so i chose the ones that really stood out to ME. this was probably a waste of time, and bet this gets no notes, but in my heart, it was worth it. i love writing and ranting out my thoughts. this was my first year in kpop, and while yes, there were a few devastating and heart breaking moments that im still not fine about, it was good. my friends are gonna hate me, but this is just one of many years to come of me being into this shit. hope next year delivers as good as this one did. happy new years kpop fans!

#kpop #btob #winner #red velvet #taeyeon #monsta x #nct 127 #IU #blackpink #seventeen #taemin #suran #exid #kard #exo #sunmi #zion.t #bts #kpop 2017 #my post #hahahha i just spent hours making this whats wrong with me :)))))))) #happy new years ya filthy animals #so glad to be apart of this family now lmao

[sweetcontradiction]

Bottle By My Bed

CHAPTER FOUR

“We’ll say a quick hello, eat something and head off, okay?” Anderson suggested carefully as he parallel parked their truck outside of the Nashville restaurant. “Just tap my shoulder when you’re ready to leave and I’ll make an excuse.”

Miranda smiled as she leaned up to leave a peck on his cheek as a thank you. She had been quiet since they left the clinic: too wrapped up in her own thoughts to speak and Anderson was too worried about her to want her force her into any conversation.

As they entered the small yet fancy restaurant, Miranda looked around to locate her husband’s friends. As usual they were sitting in the middle of the floor at their favorite table. The same thing happened every month and every time she wasn’t on tour she would happily attend. Especially since Anderson had cut down his touring in order to dedicate more time to the baby-making and so she savored the catch-ups.

“Hey, look who it is!” Jonny joked as he saw the sheepish looking pair walk in. “Y’all are late! Where have you been?”

“We slept in!” Anderson quickly noted. In his preparation to come up with an excuse to leave later on, he had completely forgotten to come up with something to avoid mentioning the fertility clinic.

“Slept in….sure. Still making the most of the newlywed deal then…” Scotty offered, winking at the pair. They let it go, figuring it was better they thought that than to know where they actually were. Realistically they knew their friends would be nothing but supportive of their situation but Anderson couldn't take any more pitiful faces — he got enough of those from his wife. Besides, any more sympathy would drive Miranda over the edge.

“We were waiting for y’all before we ordered, so choose quickly.”

Anderson’s heart broke as he watched Miranda scan the menu, avoiding her usual burgers. Her eyes went straight for the fish and egg-based meals. He had watched her do the research in depth, studying which foods supposedly would help her get pregnant. Personally he thought it was all nonsense but if it helped Miranda get through the day and make herself think she was helping her chances of getting pregnant, he wouldn’t say a word. She didn’t even like fish, or particularly have a taste for eggs but she ordered it anyway.

As the five of them got to talking about work, teasing Anderson about the amount of time he was taking off, Miranda tried to keep her face straight. She sipped on her water, wishing there was some sort of alcohol in there but she had put herself on a strict policy. If her husband could give up smoking, she could most definitely give up her love for adult beverages.

“You don’t want a glass of wine, Ran?” Aaron questioned, his eyebrow raised as his friend’s wife sipped on water.

“It’s too early for me…” she lied.

“That’s never been a problem before!” they all laughed simultaneously, minus Anderson who bit his lip nervously, scared Miranda might overreact and blurt something out that she’d regret.

But he was proud as she laughed along with them and politely refused the drinks they offered. Part of him was even relieved when the meals came along and the conversation was reduced. He loved his friends but he didn't need any more questions on his lack of touring, which he did feel guilty for, they needed that job as much as he did but Miranda always came first.

As he ate his own burrito, Anderson made sure to look at Miranda, who almost seemed to be choking on her fish. She clearly didn't like it — even trying to wash it down with her glass of water but there was no telling her to stop. It would cause a breakdown that he really didn’t want her to go through again and especially not in public.

“How’s the kid?” Jonny asked, making Miranda’s head rise up from her plate. She watched on as the question was directed at Aaron, who smiled proudly.

Whipping out his phone, he passed pictures he had taken of his son around the table. Miranda grinned as she clicked a video of the baby’s first steps. She could hear the shrill voices of his proud parents in the background and the content look on the brown-eyed boy’s face as he pleased the two people he loved the most. But her heart ached as she passed it to Anderson, knowing that they didn't have that. Despite their desperate attempts, despite giving up the things they loved for something they would love even more, despite the clinic visit. She couldn’t even look at her husband as he watched the video, his breath hitching in his throat when he complimented his best friend.

He wanted to be that proud of a creation of his own. Before it had been his albums, the tours, hell, even the dogs. But now he wanted something more. He wanted a product of himself and his wife making new feats everyday.

“When was the last time you slept?” Scotty joked as he voluntarily flicked through the rest of Aaron’s camera roll and found pictures he had taken of himself with deep bags under his eyes. He received a laugh.

“Not since he was born!”

“I thought so! You’re ageing like a president!”

“You don’t realize how much work babies are! Don’t get me wrong, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me but I think I love sleep more sometimes.”

Anderson watched as Miranda’s face fell. His best friend wasn’t taking his child for granted but he could tell by his wife’s face that she would happily never sleep again if it meant having a baby of her own.

“Are you thinking about having any more?” Jonny piped in.

“Brooke will kill me if I tell y’all…”

“She’s pregnant isn’t she?”

“No comment.”

“DUUUUDE!!” Scotty screamed, outstretching his hand to pull Aaron in for a congratulatory hug. “That’s awesome!!!”

“When did you find out?”

“Last week. It’s still early days and we haven’t told our families yet so don’t say anything. As far as y’all are concerned, you know nothing.”

“Gotchya!”

Through the celebratory drinks and hugs, Aaron barely noticed how subdued the Andersons were on the other side of the table. When he had announced the news, Miranda had gripped onto her husband’s thigh, her hands and legs violently shaking. Of course she was thrilled for them but how could they make two babies in such a short space of time when she couldn’t even have one? The final nail was put in the coffin when Aaron added an extra detail.

“We weren’t even trying, that’s the funniest part!”

“You’re bullshitting!” Scotty laughed.

“Nope. I thought the wife had food poisoning so there we are at the doctors and they ask if she could be pregnant. We hadn’t even thought about that… and the rest is history!”

“You poor things.” Jonny laughed. “See this is why Miranda and Mike are careful. They don’t want to end up with a house full of little people who only cry and shit.”

Miranda immediately raised her head to the ceiling to stop her tears from falling. Nonchalantly, she raised her hand to Anderson’s shoulder and tapped it. She needed to get out of there. Their friends didn’t know anything so the jokes weren’t meant to be offensive but that didn’t stop her heart physically tearing in two. The mere assumption that they didn’t want babies, that they didn’t need that inconvenience in their lives tore her to pieces.

“Mike…” she whispered softly.

She didn't get a reply but when his tear-filled eyes looked into hers, he nodded his head to let her know he got her signal. But they couldn't leave now, not with this news. It would look too suspicious.

“How long have y’all been married now?” Scotty asked. “10 months?”

“And they’re still only parents to those dogs.”

“That’s the dream life.” Aaron laughed, looking over at the couple and not noticing they were seconds away from breaking down. “Dogs love you unconditionally and they can’t back chat. Y’all have the right idea.”

“And Miranda’s the best dog mom there is. She knows them better than humans! Why have a human baby when we’re the worst species?”

Closing her eyes, Miranda took a deep breath to compose herself. She couldn't let herself break down, she just couldn’t. And she especially couldn’t allow her husband to break down as a result of her own instability. But when one last comment was made, she couldn’t take any more.

“So are y’all sticking to the sex, drugs and rock n roll life forever or are y’all actually gonna make babies and make us uncles anytime soon?”

Desperately pushing her chair out behind her, Miranda muttered a coarse apology as she grabbed her purse and ran out the restaurant. As she choked on her tears which were audible for the entire restaurant to hear, Anderson winced when he saw everyone’s head turn toward the blonde — and not just his table.

“Did I say something?” Scotty asked nervously. “If I said something to offend her I —“

“Time of the month.” Anderson lied, knowing it was an easy way out. They wouldn’t question that. “I should really go get her.”

As his friends nodded in agreement, Anderson took his coat off the back of his chair and threw it over his shoulders before digging into his pocket and leaving a hundred dollar bill on the table. Just as Jonny was about to insist he didn’t pay for them all, Anderson shrugged him off saying it was the least he could do.

“I’ve gotta go find her.” he reiterated. “We’ll catch up later! And congrats, man. I’m so so happy for y’all!”

Aaron gave him a smile but he didn’t miss the hoarseness in his best friend’s voice. Whether he was upset over his wife’s outburst was unclear but he had a feeling something was up.

“See you later, Mike. Give Miranda our love.”

Nodding his head, Anderson ran out of the small building, finding Miranda standing by the truck, her head in her hands. Clearly she forgot that he had the keys.

“Honey…”

“I’m so sorry but I couldn’t take it any more! The babies, the jokes, do they really think we won’t be parents? Do people really think we aren’t cut out for that?”

“Ran, they never said that…” Anderson trailed off, approaching an upset Miranda. He held out his arms and felt his heart rise when she accepted the embrace. As she buried herself into her husband’s chest, her sniffles turned to violent sobs. She couldn’t take how unfair this whole situation was. How their friends could get pregnant by accident and she had tried everyday for over a year to have just one baby. How people shot down her maternal instincts. She cursed herself for self-creating that image over the years. But since meeting Anderson that had all changed. She wanted a proper life: a husband, a secure marriage, babies. She wanted to be the soccer mom everyone bitched about, or the overly protective parent who her own mom would roll her eyes at. It seemed that everyone had what she wanted and they were all completely oblivious to her own situation. But as much as it hurt, she could never admit their struggle to anyone.

“I just want a baby, Mike.”

“I know, sweetheart. It’ll be our turn someday…”

He didn’t know if he believed it but right now Miranda needed encouragement of any sort. If it came down to deserving motherhood, his wife would be top of the list.

“Do they really think because I’ve waited that we don’t want the same?”

“They don’t know about us, honey. If they knew, they’d never say those things.”

Miranda nodded her head solemnly. She knew that, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It was just one more reminder that she was childless.

“Let’s get home. The dogs will be missing us.”

A small smile formed on Miranda’s lips but Anderson could see right through it. In her ideal world, she would be going home to something more. But he knew cuddling with her fur babies after her stressful midday would be the best medicine.

[you-andthebottlemen]

34 - Van’s POV

I’m baaack!!! Missed all of you so much. I hope you like this fic! I have combined two requests xx

Thank you so much for waiting and for the support during my break from writing, it really meant a lot to me. As this is my first fic post-break, would you mind ever so terribly giving this post a like just so I know you’re reading? That would be awesome. And hey, if you’re down, even some feedback would be amazing. Thank you again for reading, love youuuu xx 

Request: “Van sees you performing at an open mic or something and likes you, flirts with you, and asks you out or something”

Request 2: (originally submitted to @storiesaboutvan  )

 I know you've done one already.... But Van crushing on another musician... Maybe hearing about her through a musician he follows and then developing a crush and meeting at some event or studio?

Thank you to @storiesaboutvan for helping me edit this and giving me all the support to start writing again. Love ya girl xxx

Bonus for anyone who watched Bondy’s live stream and gets the references lol. 

*********

Lamacq had us back at his place to talk about the new album, going through each track like I did with The Balcony. He’d turned into a pretty class mate. We owed him so much. So after the interview, we just hung out and talked music. Bondy played him some new riffs we’d written and he gave us feedback which was fantastic. Really valuable. 

He and Bondy were in the kitchen discussing jazz over a hot brew and I was in his office sorting through the pile of submissions he received each week. Always something interesting in there you know? I liked to listen to demos from bands. It always made me think of how far we’ve come. From kids who used to throw CDs at people, to being the people they get thrown at. Lamacq’s office was littered with CDs and records, magazines and letters; you’d almost mistake him for a hoarder. As I flicked through the discs, a brightly coloured, hand-made sleeve caught my eye. 

I pulled it out and threw it into the disk player. As soon as I heard the first note of her voice I was in love. It was soft and melodic and if angels were real, she’d definitely be one. I flipped the cover over in my hands and read the back. Her name was y/n. She’d delicately handwritten the track names and her name in gold ink. 

“Lamacq. Mate. You gotta play this,” I declared as I chaotically burst into the kitchen with the CD player in my arms. The two of them looked at me as if I was mad.

I hooked the speakers up to the closest powerpoint and played it in the kitchen; I was too impatient to bring them into the studio so I brought the music to them. 

They both sat and listened, arms folded. Bondy seemed quickly disinterested and walked out onto the patio. Lamacq stood in silence, with his eyebrows furrowed, evaluating. 

“It’s magical innit?” I said excitedly, eyes wide. 

“She definitely has talent,” Lammo agreed. I looked out to Bondy to see his reaction, but he was focussed on lighting a ciggie with a blowtorch. 

“Her name’s y/n. One to watch I reckon.”

I was completely obsessed. I burnt a copy of the disk and played it in the car all the way home. I dropped Bondy off first, leaving him smiling to himself over the fact Lammo let him take the blowtorch home. I sat in the parked car in the driveway until the last song on y/n’s demo was finished. The whole tracklist was melodic and whimsical, sounded perfect and the lyrics were fucking class.

....

While cooking Larry and me dinner that night, I found myself humming one of y/n’s bridges. Couldn’t get it out of my head. I was surprised at how quickly I’d picked up the tune. 

“New song mate?” Larry asked as he walked into the kitchen with a pack of ciggies, putting one between his lips. 

“Nah. Someone else's. Found this girl’s demo at Lamacq’s and it’s like really good. Really fuckin’ good,” I replied, flipping a cheese toastie in the pan.

Larry just nodded and began to light a smoke beside me.

“Oi! Mate! Not near the sandwich!” I exclaimed, my voice going all high and squeaky, swatting him and his cigarette away with one hand and shielding the cheesy goodness with the other. 

“Jesus okay, sorry,” he mumbled with his hands up in surrender as he walked out the room to go smoke in the garden. 

I finished the toasties and balanced the plates in my arms and mugs of tea between my fingers to take out into the living room. Larry was sat on the couch playing Fifa, waiting for me to bring food like some fancy maid service.  

“If I’m gonna make you dinner, the least you could do is not make it taste like smoke. We can have a ciggie in there later,” I said as I placed a plate in front of him and his tea on the coffee table. 

Larry put aside the controller and dug into the toastie. 

“So this girl, she fit?” he asked after a few bites.

“What?”

“You know, good voice you said but is she pretty? What does she look like?” 

“Oh. No idea. I’ve only listened to her CD.” 

Three times over in a row to be exact. I shoved more toastie into my mouth and flicked the TV on. I’d not even thought about her looks. 

“You’re telling me you’re obsessed with this girl and you don’t even know what she looks like?” he chuckled. 

“Does it matter?” I asked, unsure of his point. Looks wouldn’t change how fuckin’ phenomenal her voice sounded.

“Nothing mate. You’re weird,” he responded with a grin and slight shake of the head. 

We finished our tea and toasties and moved into the kitchen for a smoke finally. I played y/n’s tracks to Larry and we listened in silence. He agreed that her voice was beautiful, but I still wasn’t sure he heard what I heard. 

That night I sat up in bed with my laptop, searching her name and trying to find her profile or summat. I’d never been a social media person so I didn’t know how to dig or whatever, but I managed to find a music facebook page. When I saw that the display photo was just a scan of the colourful CD sleeve, I was slightly disappointed. She was obviously not a social media person either.

Her demos were listed for download and she also had an ‘info’ page, so I clicked that in hopes of finding out something, anything about her. It read:

“Hi my name is y/n and I like to sing and make music and my favourite thing in the world is cherry vanilla Dr Pepper”.

Not much to go on so I shut my laptop and listened to her soft tracks again, letting them lull me into sleep.

...........

I walked through the crowded bar, hands shoved into my pockets, nervous. My hand was gripped around the cold can of cherry vanilla Dr Pepper in my left pocket and I bit my lip as I twisted and turned through the crowd looking for a seat. People were gathered around the bar buying drinks, others beginning to gravitate towards the makeshift stage down the back. Thursday, open mic night at the local. Not my local though, I’d driven halfway across town. 

Finally finding an empty stool, I sat down and waited for the first act to come on. I was nervously anticipating y/n’s performance, unsure of when she’d be out. The second I’d seen her post about her performance tonight I knew I had to be here. On my way, I’d passed a convenience store and remembering y/n’s love for them cherry vanilla sodas, made the split decision to duck in and buy one for her. Probably a bit weird now that I thought about it. Fuck. I bounced my leg uncontrollably on the spot, winning me some weird looks from the girl sat next to me.  

The first act was an older guy with a guitar that was slightly out of tune but he’d written all his own songs. He was good, heartwarming. Second, was a boy/girl duo, maybe a couple...or brother and sister, I honestly wasn’t sure. They were pretty class too. I couldn’t really bring myself to focus on any of them though, my mind and my heart were racing. What did y/n look like? What songs would she sing? Would I manage to speak to her at all?

The duo ended and they received huge applause. People talked loudly to one another between performances and the room was full of a low buzz of voices. I decided to hop up and get a beer in the break, maybe it would settle my nerves. Nerves that I shouldn’t have.

“You mind watching this seat love? Just getting a beer I’ll be back,” I said to the girl next to me. She shook her head happily and put her bag on the chair, I nodded and dashed off to the bar counter. 

The line was a lot longer than I thought, service was slow and I bet someone had nicked my chair by now too. I sighed and paid for the drinks and weaved back through the sea of drunk people. Thankfully my seat was still being held by that girl's bag.

Before sitting down I thanked the girl and handed her a bottle of the cider I saw her drinking earlier. 

“Oh shit, no need to do that at all but thanks, you’re a real sweetheart,” she grinned back in disbelief. I just shrugged and smiled, sitting back down to wait for the next act. Just in time too. 

Next came a girl, her hair hanging softly around her face and guitar in hand. She hopped up delicately onto the stool and adjusted the mic stand. The floral pattern of her clothes made her look like spring time and the colours reminded me of y/n’s CD cover. My breath caught in my throat. Was this her?

My eyes were wide and totally glued to her and my grip on the now warm can in my pocket tightened. She pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled politely out to the people watching. She had a warm, calming presence and the crowd felt it, they quietened down to listen. Once people were sufficiently quiet, she smiled again, this time genuinely and strummed her guitar for the intro to her song. Instantly I recognised it as the first track on y/n’s demo. My heart threatened to burst right there in my chest. This was her. She was real. The girl with the voice from heaven who I’d been listening to every day since I found the disc at Lamacq’s was right here in front of me; she was fucking beautiful too. 

I watched her whole set with my eyes wide and jaw resting by my feet on the floor. People around me were enamoured with her too. She sang sweetly and with love and it was enough to make any man go weak at the knees if I’m honest. She finished her last song and placing my beer down to whistle and clap wildly, I realised I’d not even had a sip of it that whole time. I stood and clapped, making a huge ruckus and I didn’t even care. People looked at me funny but what I did care about, was that y/n looked at me too. She smiled and met my eyes quickly before looking down shyly at the floor. She thanked the crowd again and swiftly left the spotlight. 

If I wasn’t totally in love with y/n before, I sure as hell was now. She was incredible. She sent shivers down their spines of everyone in the room, in the best way possible. I sat back down and had a few gulps of my pint, buzzing with energy, all nerves gone. Once I’d finished the beer I decided to go look for y/n. 

“Hey mate, where do the performers go when they’re finished?” I asked the guy at the bar, handing him back my empty glass. 

“Cheers. Ah usually out back but probably just somewhere in this mad house,” he laughed before going back to serving drinks and cleaning glasses. 

I walked through the pub, keeping an eye out for y/n. The bartender was right, it was a fuckin’ mad house in here. There were couples making out in the corner, blokes looking like they were gonna punch on over at the pool tables and just people everywhere like ants. Lucky I was tall and could see over heads. 

Suddenly my eyes caught a glimpse of that bright floral pattern. I turned on the spot and headed over to the photo booth near the stairs towards the back. Y/n was huddled over a strip of photos laughing at it with another girl. I slowly walked up to them, unsure if they’d think I was a weirdo or not. Her friend stopped laughing and looked up at me with a confused smile. Y/n turned around and faced me, her expression quickly went from a blank stare to a look of recognition. 

“You’re the guy who cheered for me,” she said gladly, her eyes lighting up. 

I smiled and nervously ran my hand through my hair. Fuck. 

“Yeah, you were fucking incredible, like, proper class,” I gushed. 

“Thanks,” she chuckled, looking at the floor again. Like I had running my hands through my hair when I was nervous, guess she had looking at the floor. She didn’t seem the type to be nervous though.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Um, Van, well Ryan but don’t call me that,” I nervously stuttered.

“You had to think about that for a second?” she laughed. 

“I know my name I promise,” I laughed back, my cheeks blushing a little at the fact she’d noticed. Fucking nerves. That beer hadn’t helped at all.

“Okay...Ryan. I’m y/n and this is Naomi,” she replied with a cheeky smile and pointed to the girl beside her. 

I wanted to remind her not to call me that but honestly, I was so in love with this girl already that she could call me whatever the fuck she wanted.

“And Naomi is outta here. Nice to meet you, Van,” she said as she plucked the photo strip out of y/n’s hand and dashed off. Y/n didn’t look at all phased. 

“She does that,” y/n said, noticing my confusion. I nodded and shoved my hands in my pockets, clicking my fingernails on the can. 

“So are you here with friends or?” Y/n asked. 

“Ummm..no..I,” I was unsure how to say I’d just come to see her. She raised an eyebrow at me. 

Fuck it.

“Actually I came to see you play.”

“Oh. Well, thank you,” she replied, sounding confused but not creeped out. Phew.

“Yeah I uh found your CD at Steve Lamacq’s, fell totally in love with it. You really are amazing.”

“Cheers. I’m glad you liked it. I can give you a signed copy if you like,” she winked jokingly. 

“Sure love, wouldn’t mind having one.”

She reached into the bag that hung on her shoulder and pulled out a CD in a cover identical to the one at Lamacq’s. Looking at me quickly with mischievous eyes, she also pulled out a pen and scribbled on the front. Her tongue stuck out between her teeth as she wrote and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Y/n handed me the CD and I saw that she’d written “To Ryan, thanks for cheering for me. Love y/n”. I had to bite my lips to contain my grin. 

“How much?” I asked.

“Nothing?” she replied, seeming shocked and confused that I’d even asked. 

“What? You’re not sellin’ these?!” I was taken aback; she really had all the talent to pursue a full-blown music career. 

“I don’t do this for the money. I don’t even put my full name or face on my stuff. I just love singing, I don’t care about anything else. It’s free because people shouldn’t always expect to be paid for doing what they love. If you love it, you’ll do it anyway,” she explained. I understood completely, I felt the same way. Didn’t change the fact I thought she was good enough to sell out venues though, forget these pub open nights. She could really make it big if she wanted. 

I nodded in agreement, unsure of what else to say next.

“Okay, Ryan. Wanna get a drink?” Y/n asked, realising the conversation had fizzled out. I liked her confidence when she spoke to me. 

Once at the bar I ordered another pint and waited for y/n to skim through the drinks menu.

“Do you have cherry vanilla Dr Pepper?” she asked the bartender hopefully.

“What the fuck is that?” he laughed. Y/n pouted out her bottom lip and looked thoroughly disappointed. 

I slowly reached for the can in my pocket and placed it on the counter in front of her. I bit my lip in anticipation. Her eyes went wide and she looked quickly between me and the can and back at me again.

“What?” she laughed.

“Um I saw on your website that you love this drink and I know it's rare or summat so on the way here I saw it and got you one and yeah weird I know, sorry I-”

“I’ll just take a glass of ice,” she said to the bartender, interrupting me and cracking open the can. 

Again we squirmed through the people still filling the place and searched for a table to sit at. Nothing. In the end, we headed out through the back doors into what used to be the beer garden. Now, a dirty space where people probably went to smoke to make out. Y/n sat on an old bench and poured the soda into her glass of ice, looking completely over the moon. I felt triumphant. 

"Thank you for this, really. That's like, the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Even though it's gone warm," she grinned at me and took a slurp through a straw.

"It's nothin," I grinned back and sipped my beer.  

"Wanna try some?" She asked and I nodded. 

She held out the glass and I gulped down a small mouthful. Immediately my face contorted into a grimace and I painfully swallowed it. It was so difficult not to just spit it out all over her. She burst out laughing, almost spilling the drink on herself. 

"That's fuckin' disgusting y/n," I winced, licking my lips and scrunching up my face, "tastes like medicine but worse. How the fuck do you like that?"

"It's an acquired taste", she replied with a smirk.

I gulped down my beer in an effort to get rid of the taste in my mouth but it just made it worse. Y/n sat there giggling at me and sipping the awful drink through the straw and looking at me with those sparkly eyes. 

“You mind if I have a smoke?” I asked, she shook her head. 

I placed my glass on the ground next to me and pulled my ciggies and lighter out of my pocket. It was a relief when the ‘cherry’ taste finally went away. We sat in silence for a bit, but it wasn’t awkward. I stood leaning against the wall quietly puffing away. Y/n was absent-mindedly staring at me and I pretended not to notice. Though in the cold, the pink on my cheeks was probably extra obvious. 

“So Ryan...what do you do?” Y/n asked, looking me up and down.

“I’m in a band,” I replied simply. Her mouth opened a little and she nodded. 

“So when you say you like my songs, you actually know what you’re talking about. Nice,” she said more to herself than me.  

“You know you should totally open for us sometime, or I could try get you some shows. I‘ve never pulled strings before but I could try, I really think you have something special y/n.”

“I don’t know about opening for you guys, but I’d love to come see you play,” y/n smiled. 

“Yeah?”

“It's a date, Ryan,” she smiled and loudly slurped the last bit of her drink.

It’s a date. I grinned to myself and lit another smoke, staring at the beauty that was y/n.

#catb #Catfish and the Bottlemen #van mccann #VanFiction #vanfic #van

[itsthisgirlfanfic]

Chapter 3

Stephanie

Later that night

I was on my bed, crossed legged and scrolling on my laptop. I can’t believe today was my 1st day in Cali. So much happend . Finding a job, that odd dude Tyler from across the street and his crazy ass friends. I needed someone to talk to. My best friend. Weirdly, I saw a bing on the side of the laptop. Yay my bitch is on.

“Stephanie where the fuck you been!”, Yara yelled as soon as her face popped up.

“In this wack ass state, I miss you so much!”, I said pouting.

“Me too, Aaron trippin, he’s trying to be a rapper.”, she said rolling her eyes, then we both started laughing. We all went to school together, all 3 best friends, me, Yara, and Aaron. Yara was always the crazy one. She was the first one to get tatted. First everything. She’s Aaron cousin. Aaron was always just there. Until junior year we started feeling each other, and the same year Yara came out that she no longer liked dick.

“So did you meet anybody cute?”, she asked me, I saw she kept putting her finger in her nose.

“Bitch why you keep digging your nose!?,” I said laughing.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you”, she paused then pushed the metal circle down. Revealing a septum piercing.

“Yoo! That’s so hot! Yaya you have to take me to get a tattoo!”, I said.

“Oh I also pierced my nips”, she said.

“What!?,”

“My nipples!”, she screamed.

“Bitch you are crazy! I love you so much, but I met a guy. He’s so wierd…in a good way. I mean he lives across the street. He almost ran me over with his skateboard.”

“Oh yeah, niggas over there skateboard,” she said laughing to herself. Then she added:

“By the way, you know I’m all for living for today. So if this guy is like hot, you better fuck him.”, she said seriously. Yara.Is.Crazy.

“Umm I’ll let you know about that, Aaron too,” I said laughing.

“No, on the real Stephie, Aaron is not the sweetheart he used to be. That nigga been fucking mad bitches since you left.”, she said seriously. I looked down shaking my head. I knew it…That murmuring in the background. Rushing off the phone and shit. But I’m not gonna stress it, I’m gonna play dumb, until I see it for myself.

“I know Yaya..”, I sighed.

“I figured, but you know what li-

(sound of glass shattering)

-What the hell is your problem Joe! We just got here and-

-No! I’m tired of people walking around here, not following rules!

-Put the goddamn bottle down, we just got here(crying)

What the fuck is going on?

"Yara I’ll call you later.”, I said then closed my laptop. I walked out the room. Walked down the hallway went to my left, and saw Joe yelling at my mom with a bottle of something in his hand.

“Bitch I bought us this house, I work 2 jobs, I pay the bills, and you can’t simply wash some dishes!?”

“Don’t curse at my mom like that you bastard!”, I screamed then went to my mom’s side. I knew we were still gonna have problems,it’s only the first day.

“I’m tired of both of you!”, he said screaming then walked out the kitchen. My mom ran after him. I don’t fucking understand. He treats us like shit, but everytime he’s about to leave my mom goes running. A lump forms in my throat as I try to hold my tears, but angry ones stream down my face. I look over at the stove and realized mom made a whole dinner. I put my hand on my forehead, pissed. I walk out and hear them talking again.

-Baby I’m sorry just don’t leave, baby please

-Don’t leave…

I was disgusted. I went in my room and fell on top of my bed. I’m freaking 18, still with this people. This women I call my mother. And asshole of a husband. I want my dad back. I ended up crying, in my sorrow, as my eyes quickly got heavy. When I get my money I’m out of here.

__________

Tyler

One, two, you’re the girl that I want

Three, four, five, six, seven, shit

Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this

And I just couldn’t take it, you’re so motherfuckin’ gorgeous

Gorgeous, baby you’re gorgeous

I rapped in the mic, as I sat in front of my keyboard. I was working on this song for my album Goblin. Can’t even lie, this song is all about Stephanie. And I just fucking met her. As I continued producing the song, my nigga Frank came in. He was sipping some type of smoothie shit. That nigga is awesome.

“Sup, bitch.”, he said.

“I need you to sing some chords and rap in the beginning of this song.”, I said. I played the beat for him.

“This is sick,” he said boppin his head smoothly with the beat.

“There’s this girl that just moved here, and she’s so fucking beautiful. In the song I’m gonna be like some stalker ass boy who’s obsessed with her and shit.”

Frank continued bobbin his head.

“Iight let’s do it.”

2 hours later

Frank raps:

Golden rubbers in these denim pockets (denim pockets) On my waist, there’s a black Glock (black Glock) New girl moved on the block (on the block) She been plottin’ on my brown cock (brown cock) Last night I slept over hers (over hers) During sex, I overheard (I overheard) A sword sliced the air, I pulled out the na-na Rolled off the bed then shot back, pa-pa Blood on the sheets probably spillin’ from my gash Looked out the glass, seen you sprintin’ on the grass A real ninja with the blade and the mask Got them gold ninja stars and red Supreme nunchuks Now she tryna patch me up, but Girl, I was just tryna get a nutbust If that’s your ex, you should probably own a pistol But I’m guessin’ it’s wiser to exit with dude.

Singing:The Blinds wide open so he can see you in the dark while your sleeping, naked body fresh out the shower. You touch yourself after hours. Aint no man allowed in your bedroom your sleepin alone in your bed…check your window…

He’s at your window.

[buriedalive-blog]

Type beat interview

BA. Introduce us to “type beat”

Matt: type beat at the moment is the two of us, Matt Magnell and Alec Doyle. We're a rock group from a southeastern town in Massachusetts. Currently we're writing songs that combine punk and progressive genres with a more of a sing along pop twist.

Alec: We used to write songs with a more heavy style but as we got older started appreciating melody and songwriting more and more, which brought us to the style you hear in "Great". the name "type beat" came from our love of hip hop and luckily no one had thought to use it as a band name yet!

BA. How old are you guys? How did you two meet?

Matt: We're both going to be 24 this year, Alec in April, and July for me. We met about 10 years ago now in middle school when a mutual friend of ours wanted to start a band to play the talent show. We were both primarily guitarists when we met, but I was starting to learn drums due to not knowing anyone else who played and I had stopped playing with the only drummer I knew right at that time. Two of my friends from class, Jorge and Luc played bass and guitar respectively, Luc said he had a friend who also played guitar, that was Alec. I didn't own a set at the time, but Luc did, so we went and stayed over his house that weekend and practiced.

Alec: Then on a very rainy march afternoon, i burst into our friend Luc's house & matt's knocked out asleep. I just say something stupid like "it's fuckin' nice out lets go skate" then he wakes up, starts shredding guitar and I'm like "woah this guy is serious. let's jam!" ten years later we've recorded over 50 songs together. But now I play the drums after discovering that it's my true passion alongside singing, and matt handles the strings. we both write for all of the instruments though!

BA. That’s very awesome! What do you guys normally do in a day? Do you live together?

Matt: We do not live together at the moment. I've lived up in the Worcester for the last few years. But from when we were 13 til just a few years ago, Alec was at my house every weekend and every day of every vacation.

At the moment, even though I live a bit far we are doing what we can to make it work and do something with music. Generally I'll go down to Wareham sometime durning the week to practice with drums, and on his days off, he'll come up to me and we'll work acoustically.

Durning the time we're not together I am on the computer working on demos, covers, or just generally practicing. I've been really focusing on trying to be a better overall singer and become more knowledgeable with music theory and songwriting.

Alec: As matt said we don't live together but the distance hasnt been an issue since we both have cars, and the ten year relationship makes songwriting as easy as sitting around doing nothing. Personally on days where we dont meet up, I practice drums/vocals for an average of 4 hours a day when im not resting, recently started skateboarding again to stay active and have a break from music. Taking drum lessons within the past year has been a massive help in growing into new ideas of playing too. I can't say it enough how much it helps.

BA. Finding your videos I love the simplicity of them. It’s a diy style that Very much shows your friendship, do you guys specifically film for “music videos” or are they more compilations of your life?

Alec: I can handle this answer! Well with "Great" we went out filming with the intention of making it into a music video. I personally really wanted to show off what our lives are like around our hometown, the places we go every day, and we went in with the vision of the song being the soundtrack to our roots, to always hold it down for home. I think we'll make more videos like that one, but we also wanna work with directors and make more serious high-budget visuals as well.

BA. I really enjoyed watching that.

Who do you guys listen to? And what did you used to listen to that maybe inspired what you guys are now?

Matt: As far as past influences go, I'd say The Fall of Troy has always stuck with us and embedded the progressive style. There are tons of bands that we grew up listening to, blink-182 and Avenged Sevenfold were the big ones when we met. Avenged really influenced our guitar style at the time.

My older brother's friends introduced us to a lot of different bands that had influenced our past projects. The Mars Volta, At the Drive-In, Man Man, Number 12 Looks Like You, and Dillinger among others.

Before I started playing music I listened to mostly contemporary mainstream hip hop and only bands I listened to were Green Day and System of a Down. I was really into metal when I started playing and wasn't open to much else, started getting into pop punk after I met Alec.

Now I try to keep an open mind to music now and listen to whatever I can. At the moment we're delving back and drawing inspiration from some older bands. The Beatles and the Beach Boys I'd say are influencing how we sing and write melodies. I'd also cite Weezer, Fall Out Boy, and The Wonder Years as influences on us right now as well.

Alec: Digging into the oldies has been huge for us. from Sam Cooke to Thin Lizzy to Billy Joel, there's a lot to take from the people who built entire careers without the internet to help or hinder them. Contemporary emo/punk has definitely become a favorite for me, PUP, The Menzingers, Jeff Rosenstock, Joyce Manor, The Hotelier etc. We still listen to other heavier bands like Every Time I Die, Vein, The Blood Brothers & La Dispute are two huge favorites, i could go forever! And we still listen to the radio for whatever it can give to us, the biggest lesson we've learned is to respect everyone's hustle and find the good in any kind of music. We're all doing the same thing!

BA. Do you guys have something you are trying to reach with music?

Matt: Our goal has always been to take music as far as we can. It's our passion and we want to make and play music everyday for the rest of our lives, we want it to be the thing that pays the bills. In ten years, I want us to be selling out stadiums, but we have a lot of work before then. We're just gonna keep working hard and knocking off our goals to work our way up the ladder and see how far we go.

Alec: We're definitely at the point of no return, i don't think there's a single friend of ours who wouldn't smack us silly if we ever gave up the dream of making a living through music with all the years we've already put in. we just have to stay focused, not look too far ahead, stay true to ourselves and be empathetic to everyone around us, and then hopefully we can give something for the world to take away from in a constructive way!

BA. I’m so happy to hear you guys are determined. In December you guys performed a show! Have you done any others? And how was it?

Matt: We've played a handful of shows over the last year as type beat. Now that we have transportation we're planning on touring as soon as we release our upcoming album. In our prior project we played locally and around other parts of MA and RI a good amount. The December show was with our friends from The Morgana Phase at the Fete in Prov, they put together a great show and we had a really awesome time there.

Alec: as type beat, so far we've played MA, RI, NH & NJ, hoping to multiply that a few times in the months following our album release. finally getting a van this past autumn was a huge step, and a load off our minds to focus on practicing. The shows we've played so far have been amazing, we've made some great friends over the years in our old bands and they all seem to appreciate the direction we're going in now, excited to get back on the road for sure!

BA. As “type beat” or even before who have been some people that you have befriended?

Alec: Aw dang well I'm gonna have to give a big shout out to Basement Beers, Heavenward, and Groomers all from New Jersey, definitely the closest friendships we've made with bands outside New England. & the bands huo & Destination Dimension from Connecticut. I also played one of my first solo sets with type beat songs alongside Remo Drive from Minnesota on their first MA show, and they slept in my basement. very nice boys! Not to mention everyone from home, Newfield, Deficiency, Barren, Brain Habits, Full Body Shot, Keep Well., Funeral Attire, Dreamwell, Anyone Anyway, Rainsound, Rocket Ship, Royal Street, The Morgana Phase, Sock Lops, Professor Caffeine & The Insecurities, THE WORKOUT, Degrader, Regime, In Good Nature, Robinwood, Frantic Endeavor, Sunsinger, Defret, Treatment, When All We Love Is Lost, the list doesnt end! it's humbling being part of a scene with a ridiculous amount of talent, definitely keeps us inspired. Our producer John Dello Iacono has become a dear friend of ours, has engineered/mixed/mastered most of our old bands' music and hes very comfortable to work with. We're lucky to have him!

BA. Sounds like you guys are liked! Well it was great having you on and getting to know “type beat” more. Anything you want to say before we finish?

Matt: We're gonna be heading into the studio soon to record our album entitled "Pipe Dream" and the plan is just to head out and get that to as many people as we can. In the mean time we've been thinking about posting more content of us, whether it be originals or covers. Definitely keep a look out for us!

Alec: Big shout out to our best friends we spend every day with, we luv u

Thank you for having us, we very much appreciate you taking the time to do this with us!

SUPPORT US

TYPE BEAT:

https://typebeat.bandcamp.com/releases

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCW8bKrXak8wqM3i_8nOvGuw

BURIED ALIVE:

https://twitter.com/_buried_alive?s=17