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sarawritestories · 3 months

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Unwavering Presence Chapter 3

Cassian X Archeron Sister (Reader)

Summary: Y/N looks forward to the next time her and Feyre go to the Night Court. Choosing to stay out of the way in the Spring she is visited by the High Lord and threats are made. Few months of learning how to read and Feyre finally warming up to the Night Court, the next time they return to the Spring Y/N is caught of guard and chaos ensues.

Content Warning: 18+ brief depictions of abuse, Tamlin being a dick, Ianthe appearance, unwanted groping (Not from any of our beloved night court folks or Spring court), blood, separation.

Word Count: 5.6k

chapter 2 Masterlist

A/N: I'm sorry if it seems to be a bit sped up but I simply could not bring myself to write more filler chapters! I hope you enjoy!

After my argument with Feyre, I locked myself in my room for the three weeks. Feyre had tried to come apologize and she tried to come in, but I had made sure my door was locked. I didn’t really move from my chair other than to change and sneaking into the kitchen late at night to eat. To avoid running the High Lord, Lucien or my sister.

There had been a continuous warmth on my tattooed wrist, Rhys’ reminder that I wasn’t alone. On the bad days where sleep evaded me, I tried to send back a wave of appreciation, unsure if he could feel it. Chances were he we were sleeping when I sent so he probably didn’t even know, but I did appreciate him.

Feyre and I have never had many fights and it was even rarer that the fight had resulted in us not talking and working it out. The last time was right before Tamlin took us away.

Feyre slammed her bow on the table. “You should have been here. What were you thinking going out there?” I scoffed as I dropped the wolf carcass on the table, facing my twin whose eyes flared with anger and a hint of fear. “You could have died!”

The door creaked open, and I glanced to see Nesta and Elain emerge from the bedroom. Their eyes went wide taking a look at the beast on the table. Our dad remained near the fireplace not acknowledging that Feyre and I had returned. Not like he noticed when we left. “Feyre, you could have died to. I have just as much skill at hunting like you, we work better together, and it worked out look at what we caught.” I held out my arm to show the wolf. “I love you, and I didn’t want you going out alone tonight. I’m glad I was there to help you take this beast down.”

Feyre blew up, “I could have killed you! I didn’t know you were there!”

I gave her a doubtful look and cross my arms, “I have been able to sense your presence since we have been children, you definitely knew I was there.”

Feyre ran her fingers through her brown hair not caring if she got blood in it. “Maybe I wanted to be alone, figured Nesta would give you some good quality time. At least she doesn’t despise your presence.”

My mouth dropped and quickly recovered, “Are you fucking serious, Fey? What the fuck does that mean?”

“Girls,” Our father croaked from his spot in the fireplace, only then that I noticed he was carving something in his hands. “That’s quite enough. Y/N your mother and I have taught you better than to use that type of language.”

I rolled my eyes, “Whatever you say.” I grit out and was about to push past my sisters when the door flung off its hinges and a beast with emerald eyes locked his gaze with mine.

A knock caused me to jolt from my seat and the book I was attempting to read on the table next to the chair, “Go away,” I yelled trying to conceal the fact the knock on the door frightened me.

The sound of the lock turning, and the door opens causing me to jump out of my chair, to see Tamlin strolling in. He shut the door and made a spectacle of locking the door. His eyes met mine and his eyes held nothing but cold and controlled anger. “Long time no see, Y/N.” He drawled and I tried not to shiver as fear locked up my joints. He slowly approaches me with his hands clasped behind his back, “You’re breaking Feyre’s heart you know. Locking yourself in here.” The sun from the window hit him and in any other situation I would have found his beauty mesmerizing, but his beauty looked sinister.

I crossed my arms and Tamlin takes notice of my tattoo decorating my skin before its tucked away. Feigning indifference, tucking the fear deep down and lifting my chin. “What do you want, Tamlin?” Shifting my weight back and forth.

Tamlin closed the distance, and I took a step back, “You’re coming down and having dinner with us tonight.”

I rolled my eyes, and I could hear the growl in his chest, “No thanks, as you can see, I’m quite busy here.”

Tamlin bared his teeth, “That wasn’t a request,” he took another step toward me.

“I don’t care,” I muttered and made the error of trying to step around him and in a flash, he gripped me and pinned me against the wall his muscled his hand moved from my arm and moved to my hip his free hand clamping down over my mouth. His gaze turned feral and crazed, letting his anger unleash and I could only produce a whimper through his hand.

He brought his face closer to mine and I could see the pure ire in his eyes. “Listen to me carefully. You are going to clean up, put on a pretty dress, come downstairs and apologize to Feyre for causing her stress and pain. Then you are going to eat in silence you will be seen and not heard.” I tried to yank my head, but he has my face in an iron grip, and he gripped my hip in bruising force keeping me pinned to the wall, “Like the good little human girl you are.” He released my face.

I quickly spat in his face, “Fuck-“he clamped his hand back over my mouth and I lashed against him.

Tamlin tsked, “No, no, the only thing I wanted to hear from you at all is ‘Yes Tamlin.’ And an apology to my soon to be wife.” He gripped my hip so tightly I gasped, and a tear slipped down my cheek. Tamlin kissed it away, the gesture going against his words. He met my eyes again his grin anything but comforting, “Blink if you understand, Y/N,” my name almost a snarl against his lips. I slowly blink and more tears fall. He lowers his face to kiss my forehead and I thrash my hands trying to push him away, but I couldn’t move him. He pulled away and released my body giving my cheek a not so tender pat, “Good Girl. Now go clean up there will be a dress on your bed,” he turned and made his way to the exit.

I wrapped my arms around myself, and I noticed Tamlin paused, “Oh and Y/N,” He turned his hand still on the handle, “Make no mistake if you don’t come down, I will drag you to the dining hall and tie you to the chair. Feyre’s happiness is important to me I will do anything to keep a smile on her face.” With that he left, and I let the emotions of the interaction fully take over and slide down the wall and bury my face in my knees to stifle the uncontrollable sobs. I barely notice how warm and tingling my tattoo is through the tears.

Cassian’s POV

I sat in the lounge of the townhouse with Rhys, there was a throbbing in my chest that caused discomfort. I rubbed my chest, but the pain wouldn’t subside, it felt like my heart was aching. I creased my eyebrows sadness consumed me and I rubbed that spot tighter as I closed my eyes.

“Cass, you alright?” Rhys’ voice pulled me from the wave of emotion overtaking me.

“I just have this weird feeling; my chest feels tight.”

Rhys gave me his full attention, his glass of whiskey forgotten. “Do you need me to get Madja?”

I shook my head, “No, just feels like something is wrong.” Another wave overwhelmed me, I closed my eyes, and I took a deep breath to neutralize myself. When I opened my eyes, my brother had a painful expression on his face. He was gripping his glass tightly his knuckles were white. “What is it?” I asked.

Rhy formed his lips into a tight line, and he clenched his hands into a fist, “Something is wrong over there,” he gritted through his teeth as he rubbed his left arm, causing me straightened I didn’t need him to fill me in. “She is sending utter turmoil down the bond.”

I grimace, “What kind of male torments their partner like that. To cause that much dread.”

Rhys shook his head, his eyes meeting mine the stars winking out, “It’s not Feyre, Cass.” My grip on my own glass tightened, “It’s Y/N’s.” Rhys stood and downed the rest of his drink.

Rhys began to walk out, and I called out, “Where are you going?”

“It’s the beginning of the new month, brother.” Rhys turned and winked at me, and darkness consumed him as he winnowed out of town house.

Reader’s POV

After a bath and getting the tears to finally stop I walked into the bedroom, taking a look at my hip fortunately there was no bruising from Tamlin’s grip. A lilac dress was laid out for me. The gossamer fabric chaffed my skin. The skirts were heavy against my hips, the spot where Tamlin squeezed still tender, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and my wrist tingled. I looked down and grazed my tattoo calm washing over me, “Thanks Rhys.” I whispered.

I walked over to the door and opened it to find Feyre on the other side biting her nail, a nervous habit she started when we were kids. Her eyes widened as she saw what I assumed is my puffy eyes from crying, and in turn I saw how her eyes looked bruised and I know she has still not been sleeping, “Hi.” She whispered.

I drifted my gaze to my feet, “Hi.” I looked back at her and look at her thin frame and her sunken cheeks and Tamlin’s words flooded my brain.

You’re breaking Feyre’s heart.

Guilt racks through me as I lightly pull her hand from her mouth, “Feyre, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out at you.”

Feyre squeezed my hand, “No, I am sorry. I know that this transition has been hard on you. I should have been more considerate to your feelings.”

I gave her a small smile tears pooling in my eyes again, “Let’s just put it behind us,” I patted her hand with my trembling one.

If you don’t come down, I will drag you to the dining hall and tie you to the chair.

“Y/N, you look like you’ve seen a ghost, and you’re trembling like a leaf. Do you want to lie down I can tell Tamlin you’re not-“

“No!” I blurted, causing Feyre to step back stunned. I composed myself, smoothing my skirts willing my hands to stop shaking, “Let’s just go have dinner with our…friends.” Feyre beamed at me referring to Tamlin and Lucien as friends as I tried to keep the bile from creeping up. We made our way to the dining hall. The closer we got the more nervous I became even the comfort of the tattoo felt vacant. I was trying to keep my hands from shaking by keeping them clasped.

The doors opened as we approached and Lucien and Tamlin were standing in their seats, snarling at something and as we got deeper into the dining hall to find Rhysand his hand tucked into his pockets. Feyre stilled and I fought every instinct to run and hug him. “Fuck you, Rhysand, we are to have a nice dinner. You can’t just take them.”

“Per our agreement it doesn’t matter when I come pick them up in the month.” Rhys spoke with cool indifference. “But I am a reasonable male,” He turned to us, “Ladies, I’ll give you the choice you can enjoy the meal with the High Lord and his loyal pet,” Lucien scowled, “Or we can go right now.”

Feyre moved to her seat by Tamlin Rhys tracking her entire movement, “I would like to have a meal before being whisked away.”

Rhys pulled his gaze away from Feyre and met mine. For a moment, I looked at Tamlin and could see his lips move the message clear Sit down. I met his gaze to his and hoped he understood what I was trying to convey with my eyes as I began to move to the seat next to my sister.

Don’t leave, please don’t leave. Don’t go.

Rhysand meandered to a seat on the opposite end of the table as Tamlin growled the claws peeking from his knuckles, “They want to have dinner, you can come back when their done.”

Rhys pulled the chair and plopped in it kicking his feet up as if he owned the place. “Where’s your hospitality, High Lord? I think it’s best I stay and join you. I’m sure Feyre and Y/N wouldn’t mind.”

Feyre scowled and I just lowered my gaze, finding the skirts of my dress very interesting as I took a seat. “Fine.” Tamlin grumbled and food appeared on each plate filled with lavish meats and cheeses.

I looked at the table and Tamlin’s fierce gaze met mine, “Y/N, so wonderful for you to finally join us tonight, care to say anything to Feyre.”

“Tamlin, leave her be she already apologized to me.” Feyre scolded her hand gripping my thigh with a gentle squeeze.

Tamlin bristled and I shifted in my seat under his scrutinizing gaze, “Well I’m glad she apologized. Let’s try to have a meal together with everyone present moving forward.” I looked to Lucien who avoided eye contact with me...Coward.

Feyre gave a small smile, “Sounds great.”

I moved my food around with my fork, not having an appetite. I felt a prickle in the back of my mind. You need to eat. I tried to reign in the shock of Rhys’ voice in my head. You BOTH do.

I looked at him, to see he was eating the food, but his eyes were locked on me and Feyre, I looked to my sister, and noticed she was doing the same thing. Looking at the High Lord of the Spring and his emissary, the two were engaged in their own conversation eating paying us no mind. I took a few bites of my food and out of the corner of my eye I saw Feyre following suit.

One the meal was finished Rhys stood and Feyre rising from hers, Tamlin reached to grab her hand and she casually moved her hand. I made a note to ask her about it when we’re alone. Feyre gave him a small weak smile, “We’ll see you in a week.”

A hand lightly gripped my shoulder, I looked up and met Rhys’ gaze, “Ready to go?” I nodded and rose from my seat. His hand slid down my arm and gripped my hand. “Feyre Darling,” Her gaze met his as he held out hiss free hand for her to take. She approached him with less fury than the first time we went to the Night Court. When she places her hand in his we are consumed by the darkness, and we are back in Rhys’ home. Feyre looked at me, “I’m going to go to bed. You are coming?”

Rhys gave Feyre a comforting grin, “She will be there in a moment. I need to talk to her real quick.” Feyre to my surprise give him a silent nod and her lips curve slightly upward and I swore that Rhys stopped breathing for a moment. “Good night, High Lord.” She said and turned and headed back to our shared room.

Rhys turned to me, and I averted my gaze to my hands that were interlaced. “Y/N, look at me,” I refused and kept my gaze on my hands, look at me, please his voice echoed in your mind. I sighed and met his gaze, “What happened? I felt an unnerving turmoil earlier today through,” he grabbed my arm with the tattoo. “It was like you were screaming down the bond.”

I slipped my arm from his grasp, and he let me, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I murmured wrapping my arms around myself, “I doubt you would believe me anyway.”

Rhys scowled, “You don’t have to tell me what happened. You don’t have to talk to me. But don’t ever say that I wouldn’t believe you. The pain I felt today was real your pain was real.” Rhys’ face softened, “Just don’t bury this down and forget about it, it will eat you alive, okay?”

I gave him a nod and he turned to leave probably to head to his own room, “He pinned me against a wall,” I blurted, and it caused him to still, he turned, and I could feel the tears building up as I placed my trembling fingers over my mouth, “He clamped my mouth so tight I thought he would break my jaw and he gripped my hip to keep me pinned to the wall.” I sobbed and Rhys in three strides made his way back and without saying anything else wrapped me in his arms and I let the sobs take over and buried my face in his shirt. A comforting hand placed on back of my head and he rubs my back in almost a brotherly way. “I tried to push him away and I couldn’t,” whether he could understand the words and tears just wouldn’t stop. “He told me I needed to remain silent except to apologize to Feyre for locking myself in my room. He said that he going to tie me to a chair and force me there.”

Rhys arms were the only thing keeping me upright, “It’s okay.” He whispered pressed his cheek atop of my head, as my sobs racked out of my body. “What can I do? Tell me what I can do to help you.”

There was a calm emotion that slowed down my sobs slowed, I take a deep breath, “Can you help me not feel as weak and powerless as I felt today? I never want to feel that way again.”

“Yes, you will never have to feel that way again.” He pushed away and looked at me, wiping tears from my cheeks. “I can train you.” I nodded in agreement as exhaustion began to take over my body. “It’s been a long day,” I gave him another nod, “Want to go to your room?” He gripped one of my hands, “I can take you there.”

I shook my head and his brows furrowed, “Can I go to the library?” He smiled and gave the top of my hand he held a kiss.

“Of course, you can, let me take you.” I gave him a small smile and sniffled as he led me to the library. The small journey was quiet, but the door opened, and the books came into view. “Tomorrow, we can start your reading lessons I’m hoping your sister will want to partake as well.” I turned to him, and he held hope in his eyes that Feyre would be willing. “We can start training whenever you want, Y/N. I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”

He released my hand and began to walk away. I grabbed his hand again and he looked back at me, “I don’t know what I can say. What I can do to repay for your kindness.” And I wrapped my arms around his neck, “Thank you, Rhysand.”

He returned the embrace, “You don’t need to thank me.” He pulled away and cupped my cheek, “Have a good night, Y/N.” He places a chaste kiss to my forehead and heads deeper into the hall. I walked into the library and the fireplace lit and I welcomed the warmth as I sat on the large chair. Sinking into the cushion I laid my head back and in the comfort of the library my eyes shut, and sleep overtook me.

Cassian’s POV

She looked beautiful and peaceful on the library chair fast asleep. Rhys had casually let me know she would be there and before I went to bed after a long day in Windhaven, I stopped by to see if she might have needed anything and found her sound asleep. Rhys didn’t tell me what happened in Tamlin’s court, but he had mentioned that she was interested in training. The red around her nose and the smell of dried tears told me she had been crying and my mind only went to the worst-case scenario of what happened.

Leaning off the door I tucked my wings to not have them drag across the floor I approached, Y/N’s sleeping form, the way her neck was angled she would wake up in immense pain. I lightly scooped her in my arms trying my best not to wake her, she only stirred to move her head and leaned it against my chest and the sweet smell of Jasmine and lilacs flooded my nose. She smelled as beautiful as she was. I walked over to the couch that was placed right in between two bookshelves against the wall and lay her down making sure her head pressed against the pillow. The house placed a blanket in my arms and in no hesitation, I placed the blanket on her. She snuggled against the softness of the blanket and let out a content sigh.

I smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “Sleep well, Sweetheart.” And with that I left the library and went to my room.

Reader’s POV

The next morning, I woke up and found myself on the couch in the library, and there was a blanket over me. I remember falling asleep on the chair, but don’t remember moving. The scent of leather and Sandalwood lingered in the room and was a comforting embrace. Feyre opened the door her eyes frantic, “There you are! I was so worried!” She donned a peach dress that fitted her figure with sheer sleeves that had rhinestones on it. Her hair was pinned back to the side, and she looked beautiful even though the dress looked like it was wearing her.

I stretched and smiled at her, “Sorry, Fey, I fell asleep in here. I like it in here.” I sat up and put the blanket to the side, “I’m hungry.”

Feyre nodded, “Well go change and we will go get breakfast.” I nodded and went to the bedroom to change into a purple top with sheer puffy sleeves that showed a little more cleavage with matching pants and put my hair in a simple braid and made my way to breakfast.

At breakfast Rhys broke the news to my sister that we would be learning to read, write and shield against Daemati fae, which he explained to me is how he was able to speak to me in my mind. That went as well as I anticipated but with some coercing, she joined me in the office to get our first lesson. “I don’t understand why you care about our education.” Feyre grumbled.

“Oh, are you saying having this ability wouldn’t have been useful under the mountain?” I stilled at his question and Feyre went pale and silent. “We don’t know what the future holds, its in my best interest to have you two, well versed and ready for anything.”

He explained to us how to put up mental shields that we worked on, and we spent an hour writing the ridiculous phrases that made Feyre roll her eyes and mutter, “Insufferable,” causing me to chuckle. After an hour of Rhys scolding us for keeping our shields up and checking our work, he released us for the day. Feyre and I went back to the room and fell into a comfortable silence and that evening I went back to the library and grabbed a book to practice my reading.

The rest of the week was spent that way shielding, reading and writing and towards the end, Feyre was eating more and smiling more to Rhysand which I swore the High Lord soaked in her smiles like sun rays. When we returned to the Spring Court, we both spent some time together reading and despite my utter disgust I would join for meals to appease Tamlin and keep his temper at bay.

Months went by and fell into the same rhythm. Rhys threw in a few fighting lessons, but we started with balance and stretching. He said he would only show me the basics but when his General came home that I would start training with him for more intricate training. I wanted to ask Rhys what Cassian’s role was in his court or just even to learn more about him, but I refrained, I didn’t want to pry, and he never wanted to divulge in the members of his court.

I could tell after Rhysand dropped us off that both Feyre and I were feeling better and stronger as Feyre was begging Tamlin to go out and hunt and help the people in town and met with stonewall refusal. So, she would dive into reading with me, but her face was fuller, and light shone back into her eyes, the color in her hair was vibrant again. Turns out that verbal sparring with Rhys was doing something for her.

Dinner that night after Tamlin told Feyre he didn’t want her hunting, Tamlin was utterly sweet, to her and to me. I welcomed the change even if Ianthe had graced us with her presence and her saccharine grin making my skin crawl. It felt as though things were finally falling into place. I drank the wine that Ianthe had poured for me and when I went to my room, sleep overpowered me and I moved to my bed my head landing on the pillow as I slipped into unconsciousness not even realizing that I had left my door wide open.

I awoke with a start as the warm breeze caressed my bare skin, I sat upright my surroundings spinning but trees surrounded me, I was in the forest. Someone had put a sheer nightgown on me my hands were bound behind my back and female laughter caused my blood to chill. I turned my head to find Ianthe there. “Ianthe, help me please.”

She approached me and gone was any warmth in her features and cold viper took her place as she crouched to meet my eyes, “I’m under Tamlin’s orders. To take you far away from the manor”

I gritted my teeth, “Bullshit, he wouldn’t hurt my sister that way!” I sent panic down the bond in hopes that Rhys would be able to answer my call.

Ianthe stroked a finger down my cheeks moving to my neck and down to my clavicle, “Unless we tell her you ran away.”

Fear ran down my spine I masked it with indifference, “You think she would believe that I would abandon her like that.”

Ianthe traced her finger right above the swell of my breast and I jerked away from her, “Well we could also say that you were influenced by the Naga lured out by a lesser fae and with your fragile human body you couldn’t resist.” I bit my lip, and she smirked knowing she would believe that as she held a dagger and sliced quickly above my clavicle, and I hissed, refusing to scream. Though she sliced off one of the straps to my night gown. She placed a kiss to my cheek before she murmured, “I’d run if I were you. Won’t be long before the monsters that live in these woods smell your blood and come looking for you.” And with that she vanished.

I gritted through my teeth as I rose to my knees, ignoring the pain of twigs and rocks pressing into my knees as I rose to my bare feet and began to run. I wasn’t sure which way I was running and there was minimal moon light to help but I just kept running and sending my fear down the bond. Even opening my mind:

Rhys, help. Please help me!

There was no response, but I kept pushing, kept sending waves of fear down our tattoo and shouting my thoughts in hopes he would hear. It felt like hours I was in there before I tripped over a stump I didn’t see and fell hard on my back. My vision blurred as my head collided with something hard, but the silence was palpable in the forest. My breathing was labored, and I could feel the warmth trickle of blood running down my face. I knew my feet were cut up, but I still rose to my knees and willed myself to try and stand. Dizziness dropped me back to my knees and a sob raked out of me. “Rhysand, please.” I whispered.

A low chuckle echoed behind me, and I began to tremble. “What a delicious treat we have brother, a human girl” The sound of slithering made me want to vomit but I forced the bile down and kept my head down. The slithering halted and the images of the Naga Feyre had painted flooded my memory the serpent-like creatures with talons and vile creatures.

Another low sinister voice followed, “What a pretty little thing and tied up just like a present.” A sharp finger moved my hair away to look at my bleeding wound. I looked up and met yellow eyes and a pink serpent tongue sticking out. The hand that moved my hair gripped the back of my neck and I whimpered as the Naga licked the trail of blood from my forehead. The free hand groping my exposed breast, the beast hummed in approval, “She is delicious.” The Naga gripped my hair and I yelped in pain as he approached, bringing his mouth closer to mine but keeping my head in place so I couldn’t move.

Rhys, I think I’m going to die. If I do, it was an honor being your friend.

I could have sobbed when Rhys’ voice came into my head.

No one will be dying tonight.

There was a slash of metal and the howl of the Naga who was gripping me as he was yanked away a flash of blue propelling it back. The sound of wings booming above and a thud on the ground. I couldn’t see my savior’s face only that blue gems blazed in the night as he approached the creature that put its hands on me with a blade in his hand.

The creature’s brother tried to slither its tail around my waist only to be met with steel cutting in clean off. A blast of red power forced the beast back against the tree. The Naga was about to approach again ready for a fight when a dagger flew and landed right in between its eyes, and it slumped back against the trees. The clouds parted and moonlight was able to help me see but a hand grabbed my shoulder and a jerked out of the grip turning slightly to meet familiar hazel eyes. His eyes held fear and he held his hands out palms open, “Y/N, do you remember me?” He whispered.

I nodded, “Cassian,” I whispered my voice hoarse and dry.

Cassian gave me a warm smile, “Good, Can I untie you?” I nodded again and he took another dagger and made his way behind me to cut my ties as the other winged male approached. My hands were free, and Cass took my hands in his and began to massage my wrists to bring the circulation back into my hands. “Is this, okay?” he asked, ignoring his friend who had just approached. I nodded again words not forming.

The other male knelt and gave me a small smile, his eyes a similar hazel to Cassian’s but just like Rhys and Cassian he was utterly beautiful, “I have heard a lot about you, Archeron.” His voice was pure honey, “I’m Azriel.”

I give him a small wave. Cassian released my hand and slid off his jacket sliding it over my shoulders to cover me. I slide my arms into the sleeves. “We have to get going before more come.” Cassian whispered to me, “Will you let me carry you?”

I nod but force myself to say, “Don’t bring me back to the Spring Court.” I whisper as my eyes met his and pain flashes in those eyes. “Please.”

“You are not going back there, Sweetheart. We’re taking you home.” Cassian scoops me up and holds me close to his chest, where the scent of sandalwood and leather fills my nose and my eyes widened, was he there that day in the library? Did he move me over to the couch? My thoughts whirled but the dizziness caused me to lay my head on his chest. “You alright?” He murmured the words thrumming from his chest causing warmth to spread through my body.

“I hit my head, and a little dizzy but I’ll be alright.” Azriel rose nodding to his friend and gripped Cassian’s arm as darkness consumed us until we emerged into a house I had never seen before.

Rhys was in the hall his eyes frantic, “Mother above, Is she alright? Where's Feyre?”

Tears welled up at my conversation with Ianthe bubbled to the surface of never seeing Feyre again, “I'm alright” I croaked, “They’re going to make her think I’m dead.” I whisper and tear slips from my face. Cassian’s grip tightens on me his thumb rubbing circles on my back, and I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face letting his scent soothe me.

"Who is?" Cassian asked.

"Tamlin and Ianthe." I whimper as pain erupts from my head. I pressed on, "They are going to tell her I abandoned her."

Rhys sounded as though he was clenching his teeth, “Cassian go take her to one of the rooms upstairs and have Madja come take a look at her.” I could hear his footsteps and a hand was on my arm giving it a comforting squeeze, “I’ll check on her in the morning.”

You didn't abandon her and when she sees you again she will know that Rhys' words in my mind brought me comfort as I heard his steps walk away with what I assume was Azriel's not far behind.

With that Cassian took me up the stairs and into the room I took a look around there were two twin sized beds and he laid me down on the one farthest from the window, He looked at the wound on my head, "I'm going to go get our healer, I'll be right back." He got up and I on instinct grabbed for his hand, hissing at my fast movement.

"Stay. Please don't leave me." I whispered.

He bit his lip and he nodded he looked off into the distance for a long moment and then he grabbed the chair from the small desk and brought it by my bedside. "Rhys, is calling for our healer." He sat letting his wings dip slightly as he grips my hand again and rubs the top of my hand. The soothing motion lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 4

Story Tags: @hellodarling1357 @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @esposadomd @sleepylunarwolf @stressed-reader @kylaisra @marvelouslovely-barnes @magicstrengthandcourage @spideytingley @awkardnerd @donttellthecats @Tastydewdrops @vermillionwinter @asweetblueberry2 @bunnyredgirl @homeslices @azriels-mate2 @oksloan3 @wallacewillow0773638 @fandom-crashlanding @writingstreetspirit @hannzoaks @minnieoo

#cassian x reader #cassian fanfic #cassian acotar #cassian x you #acotar #acotar fanfiction #rhysand acotar #rhysand x reader #azriel x reader #archeron sister #unwaveringpresence

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undercoverpan · 9 months

Text

Say what you mean (I can't, sorry)

"Why didn't you make me tea when I was sick?"

The room they're in is quiet. Spider isn't looking at him, rather, he's staring at his cup of water as he sits down in one of the cold, metal chairs the RDA had left behind. Jake's place within the four walls is at the small counter, leaning other it with his elbows as he grips a piece of bone, whittling it into a bead. Neither face the other.

"What?" He asks, resuming with his carving. Spider glances at him from the corner of his eyes, catching the dismissive tone, and thinks of shutting his mouth. Just dropping the conversation. But with a second glance, he catches amber on the man's songchord, and thins his lips. Proof of his place within the family is reflected in that insignificant amber, the same blood that courses through his veins now. How he hated his blood; how he wonders why and how Jake could cherish it. His blood beckons him to speak, rushing to his cheeks as he opens his mouth again.

"When I was sick, you never made me tea."

Jake regards his words in the way you might regard the core of an eaten Yovo fruit. Past its sweet flesh, what is it worth? The seeds may be cultivated by Eywa, but not necessarily the Na'vi. By Jake. But Spider wants to be valued beyond his metaphorical and literal flesh.

"Did you want some tea?" He offers; and Spider stills. His rational mind, the one that never made any effort to shield him from the less rational parts of himself that dwelled within his heart, tells him that that is what he wants. Tea. He's asked for tea and he's being offered tea. He associates that part of his thoughts with cowardice and willful ignorance, because this isn't what he wants.

"No, not right now. Back then, when I was a kid. You used to make the others tea; but never me. Why?" He presses, and though he shows great restraint with the emotions seeping through his teeth like blood through a white bandage, it is still as palpable and intrusive as the past comparison. Jake pauses, turns, and looks at Spider. He feels microscopic beneath his intense gaze, like an insect, like a yerik, like prey and insignificance all at once. Their relationship is one of commensalism, maybe parasitism if you push it. Spider certainly is.

"That's because you rarely got sick. Also, Norm wanted to keep you away from Na'vi foods and drink when you got sick–" he starts and Spider feels shame welling up in his throat like bile. Embarrassment. "No. Not that. Why didn't you make me tea?" He says. It's simple, a simple question. But below the surface, it's a heavy; loaded question. It's not stupid, or petty, or childish; it is a plea. A plea for understanding, a plea for please don't make me really say it.

"I never thought to make you tea. I…I thought you liked making your own tea." He offers instead an odd olive branch of sorts. Spider tightens his grip on his cup. "I always wanted someone to make me tea. It–, I like my tea, but I've never compared it to anything else. I don't know if I'm doing it right; I don't know what tea is supposed to taste like." He says, admits with some embarrassment and hesitance. Jake takes a breath; it feels like he's taking the air straight from Spider's lungs.

"Is it so bad, not knowing what tea is if you like what you make?"

He asks.

"Is it so bad that I want you to make me tea?" Spider counters. Jake sighs and Spider feels ridiculous. An 8 year old tugging at someone's sleeve, saying come look, I hit it right in the middle this time! I carved it myself! I wove it myself! I saw this and thought of you! I learned how to do this today! I made this for you!

"It's not that I don't want to make you tea, Spider, I promise. It's just…" he hesitates, searching for something inside himself, something more genuine than he wants to be right now. "...With the kids, and Neytiri, and the rest of the clan, I was just so busy."

Spider feels something in him deflate, filled with some delusional hope that because he is part of 'the kids' and 'the clan' he'd get tea, but he wasn't. Never was, never will be. He bites his lip, hunching over like Jake punched him in the stomach and with the pain in his chest, he might've.

"Okay." He says, tersely. He doesn't dare meet his gaze. Doesn't want to imagine what he'd find in that golden eyed gaze.

"Spider…" He trails, reaches a big blue hand towards Spider in some kind of attempt at comfort. It's a cruel thing, reaching when you've made it clear you have no intention of holding. Featherlight touches grace him occasionally, but he wants the real thing. He wants somebody to care in the same way a father was. Anyone, anyone at all.

"It was stupid to ask," he says, standing up, "Sorry. It's stupid–, I'm stupid–," He rushes out of the room, water forgotten, eyes red rimmed and body stiff, trapped in rigor mortis. His body is tense, reeling from some kind of impact. He grits his teeth as he makes it to his little bedroom. He opens and closes the door behind him, a quiet click as it shuts behind him. His room, small and usually suffocating, is his sanctuary.

Sanctuary. His uturu from the rest of the world, when it all became too much. And it's so stupid and he's so stupid because it's just tea. It's just tea, it's something he can make on his own, it's something he doesn't necessarily love; it was such a stupid and petty and desperate thing to ask. He feels like there are bugs under his skin, he wants to rip them all out.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid

He feels hot tears down his cheeks. Embarrassing.

He sinks to the floor, knees tucked beneath his chin. He heaves.

The room blurs, turning into a muddled sea of colours in his vision. His head is cold against the hard floor as sobs wrack his built frame. And yet, from the corner of his eye, he spots something. It's in a brown can, a familiar one. He reaches out his hand and touches cold metal, pulling it from beneath his bed.

It's one of the better drinks the RDA makes. Coffee flavoured energy drink, a favourite amongst the science guys. He always thought it tasted like dung, the bitterness juxtaposed awfully with the artificial sweetness. But when it's in a chipped mug, topped with copious amounts of whipped cream and chocolate, it's good. When it's shared around a campfire with Quaritch, it's good. When it's put into a microwave and subsequently blows up said microwave, it's good.

He ignores the warning labels and drinks it down. It's good.

_________

Spider not asking what he rlly wants <333 turning to an unhealthy imitation of what he truly desires <333 he cant ask his dad for affection or why he feels unloved, he like frfr

#avatar the way of water #avatar twow #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #avatar spider #miles socorro #jake sully #spider soccoro #avatar way of water #twow

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memekais · 3 months

Text

daredevil sentence starters. s1ep5: world on fire. feel free to change pronouns as needed!

you just opened one of the cuts on your back.

i can hear your bones shift when you breathe. no grinding means nothing's broken.

i guess you have to think of it as more than just five senses. i can't see, not like everyone else, but i can feel. things like balance and direction. micro-changes in air density, vibrations, blankets of temperature variations. mix all that with what i hear, subtle smells. all of the fragments form a sort of... impressionistic painting.

if all i saw was fire, i'd probably want to hit people, too.

i wear a mask and beat on people. doesn't exactly mesh with police policy.

i removed their head... with my car door.

a rising tide raises all boats, [name]. profits will be divided equally among us.

masked vigilantes, crazy russians... i'm getting my stun gun out of storage.

this city. bad enough you get mugged, now they chop your melon off. what's next, groping corpses?

i like listening to your voice.

they offered us a job, a great job which we turned down to save the world.

they're gonna shark attack me! look at me, i'm delicious.

we will see you in court where i will absolutely dismantle you from the top of your salon blowout to the bottom of your overpriced pumps.

you were really something back in the day... when you had a soul.

scream and that arm becomes your good one.

i've been lied to before... by men. some were even decent ones but they still felt the need to be dishonest... about things that mattered. do you feel that need... [name]?

i don't like to be in public. and i don't like to be questioned. but you can ask me anything. and i will always be honest with you.

we will honor you, my brother... with the blood of war.

i can't believe that because if i do, that means you're not the man... that i believe you to be.

i need to be the man this city needs.

what you do is important to so many people, i get that. i just don't think i can let myself fall in love with someone... whose so damn close to becoming what he hates.

i want to carve something beautiful out of its ugliness... set free its potential.

we've been sitting here talking for hours... and you're going to insult me like i have no idea what you really do?

i know you're a dangerous man. that's why i brought a gun to a dinner date.

i've done things that i'm not proud of, [name]. i've hurt people, and i'm going to hurt more. it's impossible to avoid for what i'm trying to do but i take no pleasure in it - in cruelty. but this city isn't a caterpillar, it doesn't spin a cocoon and wake up a butterfly. a city... crumbles and fades. it needs to die before it can be reborn.

by my side is the safest place you can ever be.

no, i do not kiss on the first date. sorry, not gonna happen!

you're alive... which means you made the right decision.

#ask meme #rp meme #rp prompts #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #rp sentence starters #prompts #meme #sentence starters

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puppygirl-420 · 20 days

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As soon as I have enough information on you, I'll drive over and push a gun to your side and tell you to get into my car. I'll drive someplace quiet and bind your wrists and ankles and duct tape you mouth. I don't want anyone to interrupt my special time with puppy. I'll slice open your top so I can grope your tits on the ride home. Roughly abusing your body so you feel all the bruises that are forming.

Seeing your reblogs and likes give me such wonderfully horrible ideas. You make me want to keep you in chains until I completely break your spirit. Drug you as I use various toys to make you hurt. To carve horrible words into your body so you feel too ruined to be anyone else's. Mixing my obsessive and abusive needs as I make you my perfect plaything.

I want to push you to sink further into your own depravity. To record how I rape you when you're unconscious from pills so that I can force you to cum to the videos. I want you to drown in the extremes and have you beg me to kill you as you cum.

I want to confuse you and leave you feeling so lost when I sprinkle sweetness between the abuse. Loving kisses. Warm bubble baths. Cuddles and snuggles after I feed you your favorite foods. Making you fall asleep every night with my thumb in your mouth as you relax on my chest. 💜💜

im sure if you play your cards right my location would be easy to find.. 😋

i didnt realize yall could see my likes jffccc i thought id be safe there 😳 guess the cats outta the bag now. i have extreme kinks 😇

would it really be kidnapping and considered wrong if i want it? maybe. i dont care if it is. itd be so hot to be kidnapped and be so loved and cherished but also abused and broken.. seeing missing posters and shit of myself.. god that would turn me on so much. knowing you couldnt help but take me and keep me for yourself. away from the world. my only interaction being you... hehe how very possessive, and obsessive of u... i like it though. i want to be needed so bad you have no choice. cant stomach the thought of being without me, cant imagine not coming home and me being there.. should i encourage this behavior..? probably not. but meh i dont care. its hot and im tired of pretending its not.

#puppy sub #dumb puppy #cnc free use #cnc k!nk #cnc kidnapping #rough cnc #cnc somno #free use cnc #breeding k1nk #somno breeding #cnc sub #cnc rough #cnc brat #kidnapping k1nk #kidnap roleplay #kidnap fantasy #submisive and breedable #stockhom syndrome #daddy k!nk

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rudie-wr1tes · 1 month

Text

Endless Passion- A Sandman Fan Fiction

X. Reverie

Synopsis: On a bright morning in the Dreaming, Sabine meets the acquaintance of Morpheus's most recent creation. The creature seems innocent, but it makes Sabine wonder if she knows more than she lets on.

The sound of mourning doves and the fluttering of wings stirred Sabine from her rest, as gentle golden daylight crept through from the edges of her bedroom. She was perfectly splayed out on the sheets, blankets and pillows scattered on the floor. She slowly rose, sitting at the edge of her bed. Oddly enough, she felt more energized. In her apartment, she would spend an extra hour in bed just to rot, but here- here something was recharged within her. She noticed the plumerias from her floating vases had disappeared, and were replaced with light blue hydrangeas- another favorite of hers. She began to wonder if that would change daily, as she walked across the room.

A rolling rattle activated within the wall across from her, as she noticed a fireplace coming to life on the empty wall. It was a graceful thing, carved with two sirens on either side. Waves and strange, medieval looking sea creatures swept across the crest of the hearth. She shook her head.

“He is done for.” She muttered, sitting in front of the toasty fire, “Trying to win my affections to a lifetime in this pretty place.”

As she curled by the fire, there was a knock to her chamber door. She quickly approached, snatching a fluffier robe that seemed to appear out of thin air on a coat rack. She was five seconds from opening the door when a glass peep hole formed in the starlit surface. She flinched back, to lean in again.

An unmanned handcart appeared on the other side, with a tea pot and sealed food packages on its surface. Of course she wasn’t going to let it get cold, the woman was starving.

As she opened the door, the wooden cart moved past her, nearly running over her toes.

“Hello?” She stammered, trying not to laugh, “What are you?”

The teapot floated on its own, pouring a steaming cup of french sipping chocolate for her, before sliding back down in its proper place. Sabine’s jaw dropped.

“.... Is marriage out of the question?” She remarked to herself, soon reaching for a little tin full of cream.

“I can make myself a bowl of cereal just fine, you know.” She muttered to no one, taking a rather large sip of it out. She melted, tapping her feet against the floor at the rich flavor. And to think it was only the beginning of her time here- an eternity of hot chocolate and invisible wait staff would mean heaven for the rest of her days.

There came a tapping on the glass doors to her balcony. Sabine turned with an upper lip full of chocolate, soon scrubbing it off with the back of her palm. It was Matthew, who waited patiently. And as she opened the door to him, she couldn’t help but to smile and think of Edgar Allen Poe so fondly.

“Morning!” Matthew croaked, “How are you feeling?”

“Good morning, Matthew!” Sabine smiled, “I am feeling juts fine now… My cut is nearly healed.”

“Ah, that’s great.” Matthew honked, “I’m glad to see you adjusting. Dream is still on to see you this afternoon and told me to remind you.”

Sabine rolled her eyes, “Yes, of course. I can’t forget about the Lord of dreams and trying to bribe my affections.”

Matthew opened his beak, but soon shut ut into a small chuckle, “He genuinely does feel bad to keep you here, you know.”

Sabine crossed her arms, “I know he does. He’s doing so much for me and… Frankly…” She looked back at her beautiful room to see the bed had been made automatically on its own, “I find myself receptive to it. He even gave me my hot chocolate this morning.”

“Oh, that’s not all he’s giving you.” Matthew said in a smug tone, “I’d like to stay and chat, but there’s someone who’s been wanting to meet you!”

“Me?” Sabine inquired, “And just who may that be?”

“Matthew!” A smaller squawk echoed, “Matthew I’m almost here, I’m- Woah!”

There was a crash of white feathers into a portion of Sabine’s moon garden. Her eyes widened slightly, as Matthew let out a groan.

“... Here we go.” He muttered, hopping off th balcony to aid his apprentice.

In the mix of dirt, leaves, and white flowers was a dust ridden albino raven. A female, younger than Matthew, who sneezed dirt out of her beak and coughed.

“Oh, gosh, the dirt here tastes terrible too!” a warm, innocent voice stammered out of her beak, “I thought it would be something magical since this is just a dream realm, but my goodness! It’s just plain old dirt!”

Matthew scoffed in annoyance, his feathers puffing up.

Sabine squatted down and helped the creature out of the mess.

“Well, what did you think it was going to taste like?” Sabine asked curiously.

“I don’t know! Something like oreo dust,” She shrugged her wings softly, “Like those worm cups they make for kids in preschool with gummies in them.”

Matthew plucked a leaf off from the top of her head, sighing.

“And I told you to watch your landings.” Matthew struck an impatient tone, “You’ll bust a bone, and then what will become of you?”

“Have you broken anything?” Sabine asked, sweeping the dirt off of her feathers.

“Oh, no, just my own pride.” The white raven said sheepishly, “Especially in front of you, lady.”

As she flicked the dirt off of her feathers, Matthew nudged her.

“Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” Matthew asked, seemingly annoyed by his apprentice.

Sabine only smiled, waiting patiently.

“What’s that?” She squaked, “Oh! Please forgive me, lady-” she cleared her throat, bowing with her wings, “Good morning, my name is Evangeline. I am a raven that was created by Lord Morpheus to be your personal messenger and guide!”

“Hello, Evangeline.” Sabine greeted, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, you’re right, Matthew!” Evangeline beamed, “She is lovely! My name sounds prettier when she says it!”

Sabine laughed softly, letting Evangeline perch on her fingertips, “You’re even lovlier. It’s my great grandmother’s name you have.”

“You don’t say!” Evangline said bashuflly, “Well, I’ll tell you this. It wasn’t the name I was born with! You see, I was just like Matthew here-” Matthew seemed annoyed at this tibit of information.

“I was human too!” Evangleine’s blue eyes brightened, “And I was a human in the waking world! I was dying of cancer one minute, and I remember watching my family over me, and the next I was flying through the air and stars, and I was here! And he let me pick my own name. Oh, I always wanted something pretty and heavenly like Evangeline. I’ve never felt freer, so when Lord Morpheus gave me this chance, I had to say yes! I can’t fail him, or you now!”

“Not until you improve your flight patters.” Matthews frowning tone interrupted her, “She will be closer to you in due time, but for now I’m on flight training duties with this one. She will have a more in depth judgment of the Dreaming as a whole for you to reference.”

“That’s amazing.” Sabine said in awe, “Thank you, Matthew. When do you think she will be done with her training?”

“That depends on how far we get today.” Matthew answered.

“I can’t help it.” Evangeline pouted, “I’ve only had these wings for a day, you know.”

“She does make a point.” Sabine said in a reassuring tone. Matthew clicked his beak.

“We should go.” Matthew said, “Lucienne’s sorting books out now whenever you want to head over and visit. She always claims she doesn’t need help, but…”

Sabine nodded, “I know exactly what you mean. She could use the company?”

“Exactly.” Matthew said, “Allright, Evangeline, let’s hop off here.”

“Okay!” Evangaline chirped, “Well, I am so happy to meet you Sabine. I hope my training goes fast so I can see you again soon!”

“You too!” Sabine smiled.

“Oh, I can’t wait to learn.” Evangeline beamed, stepping onto the balcony, “I love it here. Come on Matthew, you promised to show me Fiddler’s Green!”

Matthew shot an irritated look toward Sabine’s way, as Evangeline was the first to fly off.

“You’re having the time of your life, aren’t you?” Sabine remarked.

“She’s green.” Matthew sighed, “And I’m trying to be patient, and it’s hard.”

“I’m sure it was like that for you too, once.” Sabine reassured, “But you’re doing great. I know it’ll work out.”

“I know, I know.” Matthew groaned, “She’s just got too much energy for me, personally.”

Sabine giggled, “Are you regretting my stay here?”

“... Not even in the slightest.” Matthew said with a smile in his voice, “Hang on, I gotta keep her from crashing into the gargoyles here. They’re not the friendliest.” He checked below him, “Hey! Eva! Keep your distance from there, you’re going to get eaten by one of those damn things!”

Sabine watched as he banked down to help the younger raven, finding more questions than answers in regards to Lord Morpheus.

As she finished her sipping chocolate (by some miracle that remained warm) with her croissant, she opened her grandfather’s wardrobe to find it looking shockingly average to the real thing- space spreading horizontally, instead of inwards. A handful of items lined the racks with felt hangers- one being the outfit she escaped the Corinthian in- perfectly washed and pressed, free of bloodshed. The second was her night slip and robe, as she pushed past them, a soft mint colored dress ran across her fingertips. The scoop necked thing was plush to the touch. The waist was decorated with a light layer of lace and buttons, cinching exactly at the smallest point of her figure. Small trims of lace framed the three quarter sleeves. She smiled to herself, taking it off the rack. It was one of her original designs from a notebook a year prior. Beneath the dress was a pair of eggshell colored flats, like the ones she missed at home.

As tempted as she was to run off without makeup, a single glance by the mirror convoluted her judment, as she found her makeup arenal to be overpowered.

“I could get used to this,” She smiled to herself.

************************************************************************

Evangeline dragged her wings away from the window of the mortal woman who was to be her patron. Matthew had begrudingly steered the young corvid from stone jaws of hungry gargoyles on the southern side of Dream’s palace. In the light, she could swear she saw sweat forming at the top of his beak. The oil spill hues of his feathered coat shone brightly, as they banked to the left in flight together.

“You need to be more careful.” Matthew advised, “I know you might think I’m being a hard ass, but I am for a reason!”

“I’m sorry.” Evangeline faltered shyly, “I just got so excited. Sabine is so pretty, and she’s so nice. She’s like a disney princess on that balcony.”

“I’ll tell you this, it’s far from disney with those two,” Matthew shrugged off, “This may be the realm of dreams and nightmares. But I’m still trying to piece together hy he’s keeping her around. And I know there might be something he isn’t owning up to.”

Evangeline looked back at Sabine through her windows, at her vanity. Eva watched, as she put on her eyeliner with a precise hand, a learned hand that left a feline flick at the outer corner of her doe eyes.

“Do you think he fancies her?” Evangeline blurted aloud, “Like it’s one of those things… What are they called? The revelation people run from but always seems to happen anyways?”

“A prophecy?” Matthew corrected.

“Yes, that!” Evangleine beamed, “That exactly! Maybe that’s why he’s quiet about her.”

Matthew paused. There was a reason that Evangleine was created. At first, he only assumed she was juts some lucky kid with a second chance at life. He oversaw her creation- watching her in the window of a hospital room with chords and fluids tied into her. Two weary parents stood beside her in her final moments. He remembered the sound of their cries of agony, as Death welcomed her with a gentle hand to the face and a reassuring smile.

There was a part of him that ached. She had no chance in the waking world, sickness had ruined that for her before her life could even begin. He was angry about that. He was angry at first being assigned to training her how to fly, but wanted to be the only person who could. Matthew stood no chance of surviving in his cruelty as a human. But here, he could at least try and protect her from it. He was angry with Morpheus, despite his reasons. But it seemed she knew more than she let on. But maybe, he considered, Evangeline was a fresh, innocent pair of eyes examining a situation Matthew had seen unraveling. After learning of Morpheus’s unfortunate track record with love, it wouldn’t be out of the question. He paused a moment, wondering if that was actually the case, even after joking about it. He hadn’t been that defensive about someone… Well, ever. Except in aiding in Calliope’s escape.

Matthew shook his head and sighed, “We have work to do. There’s a lot you need to learn…”

“I think it would be so romantic.” Evangeline delighted in a near whisper, “I can see it now. He’s very lonely. Otherwise, why would he make such a pretty room for her? Friends wouldn’t leave fresh cut flowers in a lady’s bedroom every morning-”

“And I don’t need you getting all swooney on me either!” Matthew cut her daydreams short with a sharper tone, “I need you to stay focused!”

“Yes, Matthew.” She snickered.

“We will land in a few minutes, there in the field.” Matthew instrucrted, “I can tell you’re getting tired.”

Evangeline was quiet. He began to worry.

She was looking at the skies above their heads- many changing, glimmering with different colors spanned across the horizon.

“This is the best first day of existence I’ve ever had.” She observed, looking back at him, “thank you, Uncle Matthew.”

Matthew’s nerves eased at such a term of endearment. They had barely known each other for a day. And he slowly realized- perhaps she wasn't just there for Sabine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi, yes, I made another OC for this fanfic, and I would commit arson for Evangeline.

Happy Easter to my readers who celebrate!

#dream of the endless #fan fiction #writeblr #my fanfiction #the sandman netflix #the sandman #lord morpheus #fic writing #matthew the raven

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astroprompts · 1 year

Text

✧ —𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

“Make the coffee strong enough to chew!”

“I don't know what I wish I had.”

“There's no time now for thinking things like that.”

“We've got too much to do.”

“Some things never change.”

“I wouldn't call this place a happy end.”

“I been 'round the block and just came back again.”

“A small town like ours ain't much.”

“I like the way most of the days look exactly the same.”

“With days like these, we can only do the best we can.”

“I don't wanna know.”

“Come one honey, you've waited long enough.”

“How'd I ever get myself in this mess?”

“Funny how one night can ruin your whole life.”

“Just calm down, godammit!”

“I do stupid things when I drink.”

“Better never lasts forever.”

“Every door we ever made, we never once walked out.”

“I'll show them all how goddamn happy I am!”

“When information's in its place, I minimize the guessing game.”

“I don't like guessing games.”

“How am I supposed to operate if I'm just tossed around by fate?”

“What if I give myself away, to only get it given back?”

“I'm not defensive!”

“I'm simply being cautious.”

“You cannot be too careful when it comes to sharing your life.”

“I'm scared of breaking open.”

“Nobody ever really notices me that way.”

“If pies were books, yours would be Shakespeare's letters.”

“Sometimes one bite is more than enough.”

“A dream needs believing to taste like the real thing.”

“Dreams come and they go.”

“When your breaking point's all that you have, a dream is a soft place to land. ”

“I will never let you let me leave.”

“I promise I'm not lying.”

“Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow.”

“I'm gonna do this right!”

“It’s a bad idea, me and you.”

“Let’s face it, making mistakes like this will make worse what was already pretty bad.”

“It’s time we just let this thing go.”

“It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it though?”

“Hold me close while I think this through.”

“What if I never see myself ever be anything more than what I've already become?”

“Hold me tight as I tell myself that you might make sense.”

“It's a pretty good bad idea, me and you.”

“Go ahead, throw your rocks at me from your little glass house and then take off running.”

“You're no better than me.”

“We've both made mistakes, haven't we?”

“My head won't be hung in shame.”

“It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here.”

“Ain't no saints here baby.”

“We're all just looking for a little less crazy.”

“I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free.”

“We can’t come back from this.”

“It feels so good to be bad.”

“I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”

“Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you.”

“I'll stay here as long as you'll let me.”

“You matter to me.”

“I am in love and I don't care who knows it.”

“Time's just sand slipping past.”

“Ihough I dont believe in silver linings, I believe there's something in you.”

“You might have to fight the good fight.”

“Most days, I don't recognize me.”

“I'm not anything like I used to be.”

“I was never attention's sweet center.”

“Sometimes life just slips in through a back door and carves out a person.”

“If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over.”

“I was lost for you to find.”

“My heart's at the wheel now.”

“I know in due time every right thing will find its right place.”

“Isn't it amazing what comes our way?”

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #dialogue prompt #waitress #waitress the musical

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beepboopbupbip · 1 year

Text

So I saw a take on Leshy/P03 and their divorce so time for my overly angst filled take on it.

Leshy (at least in my opinions) is very possesive. Agree or disagree this is important in my theory

At first leshy was, well, normal. Still a dramatic narrator with everything. Would narrate their entire dates if P03 wouldn't shut him up with kisses. But normal. Issues were talked out and they were fine.

But then leshys own manipulative and possesive behaviors came out closer and closer to their wedding. To make myself clear this wasn't a bad thing entirely, leshy wanted to keep him close because he didn't want to lose him. But it got progressively worse.

Leshy would call him 20 times a minute whenever he would leave the house and try and keep him inside for as long as possible. He would talk bad about others that P03 might have considered friends before the scrybes started quarreling and he shut himself off. P03 was with leshy, usually swearing his undying love to him to help calm his troubles, almost every hour of the day.

And P03 never spoke up, because wanting to be around your partner was love, right?

Then the wedding day had come, Both of them absolutely gorgeous. (I'm drawing P03 in a wedding dress fucking watch me) and the entire time leshy wanted P03 to go nowhere from that point on, to secure that they would never be apart for a second.

So when they got home that day, that's when it happened. Rose petals on the bed, candle lights. P03 was in awe, even back then he couldn't believe any affection, even if they were literally just married, would ever be there for him nor would he deserve it. Leshy brought P03 to the bed, and his inscrybing camera was underneath it.

This is where it gets dark, violence warning.

It starts with leshy simply holding P03, massaging him as he giggles and pokes leshy a bit back, tracing around the plating gently. Leshys eyes would begin to circle around orange, not unlike he was in a trance.

The beast took a harsher tone with the machine, as it looked confused up at them. Scraping the metal with his fingernails despite its wincing. Splitting P03s dress in two, before carving its name into his frame. Opening his chassis and plucking wires apart, as if being picked apart like meat, as the machine simply cried.

An important component lost its connection and leshy smiled, pulling out his inscrybing camera. But he was unhappy with how the photo would look, P03s screen was off. The component was sloppily powered on again and P03 awoke with a gasp. Wanting to run, but knowing his components would just fall out, wanting to scream, but he was not in his factory, no one would hear from their cabin.

Leshy took the photo, a picture and a stoat card was made. The first scrybe to be reborn as a card. Then grimora, then magnificus. (but magnificus deserved it, fuck him)

As soon as they were released from those cards, P03 has shut down emotionally, repairing himself the best he could and limping back to his factory, every trace of leshy was gotten rid of. P03 no longer had a softer side.

He had turnt himself into one without emotions, pure focus on gaining control, control means he will not be hurt. No sympathy for the workers he once praised, no focus on making his game fun for the challengers. Nothing. Because if he let no one in he would never have to force someone out, crying and broken.

#inscryption #p03 #inscryption p03 #p03 x reader #p03 inscryption #MMMM ANGST #i am so sorry yall #i want to beat up leshy #and i want to kill magnificus #grimora can stay but like #over there #and yes i am actually going to draw p03 in a wedding dress #how do i not he would be beautiful?!?!

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mrbango · 7 months

Text

The Watcher

Statement of Robin crane

[fan made statement]

Jon: end recording-

*knocking on door*

Jon:Come in.

Robin: Hey, Martin said I should talk to you…uhm..said I should make a statement..

Jon: oh, ok then. Recording ends

*tape recorder is turned off*

*tape recorder is turned on*

Jon: Statement of Robin crane, researcher of the Magnus institute. Regarding?

Robin: a,Uh..monster that’s been stalking me for 10 years and attacked me two years ago..

Jon: statement taken directly from subject. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus institute, London. Statement begins

Robin: Before I begin I want to clarify that it’s watching me at the moment..it always is.. it’s in this office as we speak but neither of us are able to see it.. but it’s most likely in a far corner, it’s frightened of you.. I felt fear in its stare when I knocked on the door.

*Robin sighs*

Robin: I got cursed with this..thing, when I was 12. I'd love to be able to say that I knew something bad was going to happen that day, but I'd be lying. It was the day before Christmas break, and it had snowed the night before, leaving a good three inches of fresh snow. I remember practically launching myself out the door because I was so excited to go to school. The day was amazing; we watched a movie, ate cookies, and then it happened. It was during our break when me and my friends ally-

Jon: full names please.

Robin: oh ok, sorry.. It was during our break when me and my friends, Alania Shire, and Leo Carter were having a snowball fight when I noticed something dark sticking out of the snow. I walked over and picked it up. It was an old mahogany box with intricate designs carved into the wood, sealed shut with a gleaming golden latch. What was most unsettling was that, despite the cold day, the box was oddly warm.

My friends gathered around, curiosity and trepidation dancing in their eyes. After a bit of friendly bickering about who should open it, we decided to settle the matter with a game of rock-paper-scissors. And, well, I lost.

I tried to protest and convince one of them to open it but Leo told me to just open in and stop being a coward..so I did. And as soon as that latch was opened and the lid was flipped a ploom of black smoke filled my nose and burned my eyes. It smelled horrible..the only way I could describe it was the smell of rot.. just pure decay. After I finish coughing and fanning the gas away I look down into the box. It was strange..it looked as if it had no bottom, just an endless void where it should be. I stare at it for a moment more when suddenly, one,two,three and then hundreds, maybe thousands of little white eyes flick open from the void and stared at me. I scream more black smoke flooding out of the wooden box before I throw it onto the chilled ground. Leo bends down, picking it up and looking inside. His face turned to one of annoyance looking at me. “It’s empty you big baby, it was just some smoke.”. He said to me.. I wish that box was empty when I opened it..

but then I felt it.. I felt it watching me, I looked behind me but saw nothing but the feeling didn’t change. We went home not long after that but the feeling never stopped..

As the years went by I started seeing it more, in the corner of my eye, in mirrors than sometimes staring at me from long dark hallways.. and I always knew it was that monster because of the soft creaking sound it made when it moved. Like an old gate

I tried to tell people but they always said it was just a trick of the mind..”the dark can do that to you Robin” that’s what they said but I know. I know it was just my mind playing a trick on me, a trick of the mind wouldn’t stop me from sleeping,I started carrying around a flashlight, I don’t know why but it brought me comfort.. On my 20th birthday I was walking home, my friends had taken me out. It was dark, very late so there were very few cars on the road if any. When I heard it.. the soft creaking was behind me. I turned to see a blur of its white eyes as it quickly got behind me. I was so fed up, I reached into my bag grabbing my flashlight, feeling the weight of it in my hand. I didn’t even know If this would do anything but I hoped it would as I flicked it on and turned around. I lifted my arm up angling the flash light into its eyes..only then did I see how many there were..it had what could be millions.. it let out an ear piercing whining shriek of pain, it stumbled back on its unnaturally angled legs covering its eyes with its hooked hands. It let out an angry cry as it regained its sight and as I was backing up into an ally it launched its self forward towards me causing me to fall back in shock, it’s hooked hands latching onto the two buildings that make up the ally as I push myself back trying to stand, it threw itself down on me..I don’t remember very much after that..all I can recall is the horrible pain of it ripping a chunk out of my arm and all of the blood..my head gets fuzzy after that but I woke up in the hospital.. It's been awhile now and I see it in full more often..I still barely sleep, when I do I wake up a about an hour later with in hovering over me.. and I would like to comment that it doesn’t usually look at me with any emotion..it’s always just a cold, dead stare.. it just behaves as a shadow that isn’t my own…I’m unsure of what it wants with me..and I don't know if I will ever truly know it’s end goal…

Jon: interesting.. we will look into it, if we find anything or need further information I’ll let you know.

Robin:ok..

*recorder is turned off*

*recorder is turned on*

Jon: Statement ends. I haven’t heard of this monster in any other statements but it is intriguing. I doubt it was always in that box so it was most likely put there, But by who or what I am unsure of, and why said monster fears me I also don’t know. On a different note, Robin himself was very..tense, and twitchy. It could just be due to him feeling watched but I could be incorrect, End recording.

*recorder is turned off*

#tma #the magnus archives #fan made #writing #oc writing #creepy #the watcher

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theriveroflight · 9 months

Note

Very slowly turns towards you. For the shipping requests… Laymitri and number 88 (I’m thinking at the end of UF, before Dimitri gets taken to jail). Turns away and disappears.

88. Hurry to the airport/train station before the other leaves town forever

"Wait!"

Dimitri turns to see Hershel rushing up to him and his police escorts. He's no longer wearing his hat. Dimitri's not sure if he's ever seen that. It strikes him for more than just how unusual it is.

"Allow me to speak with the suspect, please?" Hershel asks. "I assure you I have no intentions of allowing him to escape."

The officers look at each other, probably assessing if they're permitted to do such a thing. Dimitri hopes they won't, just so he won't have to endure this conversation. He can't imagine it would be particularly pleasant to have a conversation with Hershel like this, and he doesn't want one of his last experiences as a free man to be something that digs up everything inside him and exposes it.

But they leave, retreating to just a few meters away -- out of earshot, especially with the chaos around them, but within view to remind Dimitri that this is not an opportunity.

Not that he would take it if it were.

"So she's gone, I take it?" Dimitri asks.

"For good this time," Hershel answers, looking down at the hat in his hands. "In some ways...it's best that she's gone. I wouldn't know what to do if she had stayed. My life has changed so much."

Any reply Dimitri has to that sounds thoroughly uncharitable when he says it in his head -- to Claire's memory, to Hershel, to himself.

"I had already said my goodbyes to her," he says. "It wasn't selfless to let you. Just fair."

"And I am grateful for that." Hershel looks at him. It strikes Dimitri as deeply vulnerable, more than it would be if he were wearing the top hat in this very moment. "I'd like to offer my apologies."

"What for?"

"For getting you into this position," he answers.

"I only have myself to blame for listening to Clive." Clive's been escorted away by now, having been considered a larger risk than Dimitri himself. "I let myself be consumed by my desires. I should’ve known better than to listen to a man who was barely an adult."

Hershel frowns. "Being emotional is certainly not a bad thing. I...do wish it were easier sometimes for me to be open about what I am feeling, but I don't even know how to open myself to my emotions."

Dimitri barks out a laugh. "I wouldn't worry about that too much, Hershel. It's not a bad thing, having what you do."

"I have been made aware of the man I could have been several times before." Something dark crosses his face. "None have done so quite as blatantly as you, of course. I have been forced to confront the possibility of turning from my current path to see despair instead of hope. But, most critically, you can choose the path of hope, Dimitri. Hope remained when nothing else would."

It sounds like he's quoting something, but Dimitri’s never been the type for literary analysis.

"I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with the story," Dimitri admits, "but I know a thing or two about hope."

Hope that Claire would return. Hope that Claire would be able to stay, in spite of the many possible pitfalls. Hope that they might be able to carve out a different past.

And now, here, with Hershel: a new hope.

A hope not to change the past, but to change the future.

"That's good," Hershel says with a smile. He looks up and affixes his hat in its place of honour atop his head. "I don't know if we'll ever see each other again, but I do hope you find a way to reacquaint yourself with it."

Dimitri nearly asks Hershel in that moment -- come visit me, see me in prison, don't leave me.

But this feels final, in some ways. Maybe this will be the end for good, or maybe it'll be an end wrapped in a beginning.

"We will," Dimitri says, with more certainty than he feels.

#professor layton #laymitri #dimitri allen #hershel layton #requested #pl spoilers #unwound future spoilers #fanfiction #my writing

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orionsangel86 · 2 years

Text

Following the release of the pilot of that bloody Winchester prequel yesterday, a lot of people have been excitedly posting interviews and articles on it and starting up the meta and spec again. I thought I'd be able to avoid seeing it on here but this is the SPN website so clearly that was a bad assumption.

Thing is, I genuinely believed I was okay. This year has been SO GOOD for me for healing the wounds that SPN carved into me. With OFMD, WWDITS, The Sandman, IWTV, and now Good Omens 2 news I have been happily existing in a little joy filled bubble everytime I come on Tumblr.

I just scrolled past a post which had screenshots of an article from Robbie Thompson on the Winchesters. I thought I'd read it out of curiosity. I shouldn't have.

It brought everything back. Talk of the Winchester brothers and how "theres no Dean if there aint no Sam" and how they arent changing a damn thing about SPN canon, and how we will find out where Dean is, with the writer speculating he's telling the story from heaven...

I don't know why, but it hurt.

It was like something had decided to prod really hard at the old SPN scars, the ones that never really healed right to begin with, and are still jagged and tender even after 7 months of solid healing thanks to only consuming media that actually respects me as a person.

I haven't felt that kind of pain since Jared Padalecki last opened the hole in his face to spew bullshit about how the finale from Hell was so perfect and right for the brothers *gags*.

It wasnt even a bad article, but it acknowledged things I had tried to erase from my head. God. Im so fucked up. That horrible show fucked me up so much. I wanted to just shut down tumblr and mentally check myself out for a bit and put on the Dreamcast on spotify or something, but I had to get this off my chest, even if people read this and think im fucking moronic for caring so much and wasting energy on this stupid show and why do I care right?

7 fucking years I devoted to that horseshit show. 7 fucking years I held it in my heart and adored it even though the whole time it clawed and carved at me and hated me because I wasnt the audience it wanted.

One little article and I feel like ive been triggered even though that word should be far too strong for something as stupid as getting emotional over a TV show. Im having a minor breakdown in my living room at 10pm on a Wednesday night in 2022 over fucking SPN.

I dont even know why im openly admitting this on the spn website when I know its gonna subject me to hate and a whole mass loss of followers but I had to get this out. I had to write it down. Its so difficult to express how this show makes me feel. I dont wanna be the one you all roll your eyes at and call a negative anti but I also don't understand how everyone else seems to have slipped so easily back into old habits.

I wanna scream at everyone not to be fooled. But I dont wanna stamp on other peoples joy either. So I guess I gotta remove myself from the equation here. Fool me once etc etc.

Im gonna have to unfollow some long term mutuals, especially those that arent tagging content. If you correctly tag every winchester related post and reblog then at least my filters will block them, but if they slip through im gonna have to unfollow. I cant be having 10pm meltdowns over SPN at this point in my life. Not when there is so much good stuff out there to be focusing on instead.

#rants about spn #sorry #personal #turns out im still an emotional wreck 2 years later #sigh #sorry to trample on your fun

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itsjules-here · 2 years

Text

When I Was Called Woman

Prologue

I am not a woman

And even though I never was

I cannot help how other’s minds will see me

And though I am not woman

I learned so many of the parts that once made that word my prison

Are not woman either

Parts forced and broken into place

Filling the empty spaces around woman

Surrounding her – choking her

Until what a woman is is covered

And all that can be seen is what she is not

When I was called woman

I wasn’t the good kind

I would not be strangled

Though the hands still wrapped around my neck

I would not fill the space carved out for me

I carved my own.

When I was called woman

Awareness came first

Woman was blessed with the sight

To see into the hearts of others

To know their minds as it they were her own

My father’s rage

My mother’s sadness

My schoolmates fears

My brother’s dreams

These were gifts

Left like dirty laundry at the end of my bed

And so they were mine

As they were every other daughter’s

Atlas may have held the world on his shoulders

But his feelings belonged to woman

The first layer is always the hardest to break

But I can ready my axe

And one day it will crack

It will break before I do

When I was called woman

I knew that I had failed

Because I was unloved

Not by my parents who loved me even when they could not understand me

Not by my friends who held me while I cried

Not by my mentors who guided me with their kindness

Unloved by a man. Romantically

Because I could not be complemented

By his harshness

By the promise of kindness behind the violence

His harsh angles were not met by my sweet curves

No matter how hard I tried

I could not be loved if I was not respected

By him

By myself

My body is a temple

And I am the god to whom it is devoted

I will not be touched by any who do not come to worship

I would not and I will not

Break myself down so another may build me back up

You cannot break a storm

Only hope that you are not the errant ship caught in its wrath

III

When I was called woman

The bad kind

The loud kind

The kind that would not be tamed

I was called a new name

Feminist

She who defends and defines femininity

This name was closer to me than woman ever was

But why could I only define what was given to me?

Is the self I made

Whose materials I fashioned from nothing

Not good enough?

Why can I only define feminine?

When I am masculine

When I am sublime

When I am scared and angry and powerful?

I have never been good at choices

I will eat my dinner forever watching everyone else’s

Wishing I was allowed to order for myself

And have everything

When I was called woman

I felt emptiness

Where joy was supposed to be

Doing womanhood

Became a chore

One I was good at

A part I knew how to play

Every line

But a chore nonetheless

I fought for woman

I bled for woman

But where others found peace

I found nothing

So I left woman behind

But I can still feel her

In my past

In the eyes of other people

I am a non-practicing woman

I do not believe anymore

But I will keep the traditions of woman

When I need them

When I need to have them and know them

For myself

Does that make me a man?

Using and twisting womanhood

So it suits my purpose

No.

I will not be jailed again

Not by another prison

That, while gilded,

Is every bit as suffocating

As the last

Epilogue

I am now called everything

And nothing

I am the wildfire, the storm

Some chose to fashion their cage

To open the door but turn what was once a prison into a home

And their homes are beautiful

Never two the same

Some chose to move cages

Before they mark their land

Before they free themselves

Before they fashion a key

Some build a home from nothing

Some stay trapped forever

Crushed by the weight of traditions from another lifetime

Some people never get to breathe their own air

Feel purpose - given by them, no other – fill their lungs

I don’t want a home

Perhaps I am traumatized from when I was called woman

But to me four walls will never be anything

But a cage

And I will fly

And I will sing

Before I am ever trapped again

#jambi writes #poetry #so I just had #top surgery #and it made me think #about my relationship #to #womanhood #and this poem happened #lgbtqia+#genderfluid

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forestgreenfairy · 1 year

Text

A Teenage Kind of Love

Episode 2

(Sal)

I feel bad for him. He doesn't have anyone like I do. I think I feel so bad for him because I know how it feels to not have friends, To feel completely alone. As I walk out of the bathroom I spot a paper crumpled on the floor, in front of but not in the trash can. People I swear, it takes two seconds to clean up after yourself. I pick it up and un-crumple it as I walk. It's a letter. Even more interesting is its confession. My heart sinks as I read on. It's a heartfelt letter full of emotion from some boy, the only thing is it's to a boy. The writer feels he is sinning by having these thoughts. I wish I could help him. I stuff it in my backpack pocket and move on. It's lunchtime.

My table consists of ash chug larry maple and Todd. They are all talking amongst themselves when I sit next to larry.

Travis is sitting alone.

"Hey Sally," Larry exclaims, wrapping his left arm around my shoulders.

"Hi guys," I say and everyone continues eating and talking. All I can think about is Travis and that poor boy. They both deserve so much better. The lunch bell rings and then the 5th and 6th-period bells, but I can't help thinking about them.

As I and larry climb onto the bus I'm in a daze. Then Larry punches my arm.

"Ow dude!" I exclaim

"Ugh earth to sally face," he says

"Did you hear what I said?" I sway my head no and he rolls his eyes.

"My moms getting a new car today and she wants me to go with her so I can drive her old car back" he pauses "AND SHE SAID I GET HER OLD ONE" he screams in a voice filled with excitement. My face lights up. No more bus rides or asking for dad or Lisa to drive us somewhere, we are truly independent.

"That's great Larry, are you gonna drive us to school?" he looks at me like I shouldn't even have asked the question.

"Of course, I am dude, no more bus rides that take an hour when we only live a 30-minute walk from the school." We got off the bus and his mom is already waiting in the apartment parking lot for him. We wave bye and I head inside.

(Travis)

The car ride home is silent for the first few minutes then my father says.

"Your mother's funeral is this Sunday," anger fills my body from head to toe and I roll my eyes.

"And how are we saying she died?" his jaw clenches and his grip on the steering wheel tightens.

"She fell down the stairs when no one was home, remember!?!" he asks.

"No" I reply knowing I'm in for it once we get home. The rest of the ride is deafeningly silent.

Once we get in the door he screams.

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG WITH YOU!" he screams backhanding me across the face, I stumble back the pain burning my face as tears swell in my eyes.

"YOU ARE BEING SO DISRESPECTFUL YOUNG MAN" he screams pushing me to the floor and then kicking me in the stomach. I look up and he's red with anger, I can't take it anymore.

"SO WHAT?" I scream "SO FUCKING WHAT? I'M ALMOST AN ADULT DAD YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE MUCH LONGER!" I yell. He looks like I offended him.

Then everything goes black.

I woke up on my bed. Everything is fuzzy. Then I feel pain rush to my abdomen. I lift my shirt wincing when It touches my skin. The word "disrespectful" is carved into my skin just below my ribs. My stomach itself is beginning to purple. I touched my eye to make sure he didn't re-blacken my eye. It's fine. I carefully head downstairs still dizzy, once I reach the bottom I grab the bandages from the cabinet and patch myself up. Putting gauze on my cut, wrapping tape around my abdominal to secure it. My father walks by as I'm washing my hands.

"I'm inviting a friend over to help us with dinner" he says completely ignoring what had happened to me. A few minutes later there's a knock on the door. After he opens the door a young woman walks in thanking him for having her over. My heart sinks. She has long blonde hair with lanky limbs and sunken eyes.

She looks just like my mother.

One thing is different though, She is full of life from head to toe. Her face is full of color and smiling. Just like my mother used to be, but She hadn't been like that for a long time.

"Thank you for inviting me, father Phelps,'' she says, setting her bag on the counter.

"No thank you, we've really been needing some help with cooking" he paused and called me Kenneth" he smiles and she nods her head.

"Oh hello Travis!" she exclaims.

"Hello, Alyssa," I say, then excusing myself to go do homework in my room. She was a girl from church. She was in my moms women's group, she had also recently moved from my mom's youth group to the adult womens group. I think they were very close as she was there when she was baptized, all her important life events and lastly her moving up ceremony when she graduated high school. She was only 3 years senior to me. I hear giggling and laughing downstairs an hour later there's a knock on my door. Alyssa walks in.

"Travis dinner is ready" she smiles, I get up and follow her out the door and downstairs to my father serving our plates. Mostly they talk to each other occasionally asking me about school and such. I'm mostly out of it in my own world. After she leaves my father turns to me.

"What do you think?" he says smiling and clasping his hands.

"She's nice" I say plainly, turning away from him.

"Good because she's going to replace your mother," he says walking away. I don't know if I want to cry, scream, or both.

"I'm going for a drive," I say quickly, grabbing the keys running out the door before he says anything. I have my driver's license and I've had it since the day I turned 16 but my dad drives me to school every day to work because it "saves money and time".

The cool fall air feels nice in my hair as I speed down the road. No one is on the road since it's late. I find my way driving to Sally faces apartment building, I Park the car and just sit out front not going in. I have a pounding headache and begin to cry. I can't help how I feel but sometimes I feel like it's my fault. It's my fault I'm different, my fault I'm like this.

It's silent for a few minutes until I see Larry and a woman who must be his mother dance walking through the parking lot. Shit. I slide down in my seat trying to hide but as they pass me Larry sees me and walks over knocking on the window.

"Travis? What are you doing here" he asks. Shit-shit shit shit.

"Ugh I was just going on an um on a drive and I got really tired and ugh stopped to take a break for a second and this was um the closest parking lot" I say stuttering over all my words.

"Want me and my mom to drive you home," he asks.

"Ugh yeah no thanks I'm fine," I say before quickly starting the car and driving away.

Smooth Travis smooth. I can't help but laugh.

Once I get home my dad is on the couch, arms crossed.

"Go upstairs Travis" he demands. I have no problem with this so I happily run upstairs and jump into my bed, soon drifting off to sleep.

#salvis #sally face #sal fisher #travis phelps #fanfic

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johnbazley · 4 months

Text

On The Impossible Past, On The Miserable Future

The Menzingers, misery, and forward momentum

“I’m just freaking out, yeah, I’ll be fine.”

- The Menzingers, “The Obituaries”

I’m a wreck lately. My bank account is back to double-digits. Unemployment won’t call me back for an update on the two months of backpay I’m supposedly entitled to but haven’t received a cent of. I tell my girlfriend I’m going to stop drinking for a while because I think it’s affecting my sleep, but really, I want to stop because I’m not sure I can anymore. A week or so ago, I got a parking ticket in Asbury. I stopped by the liquor store for three minutes to buy a four-dollar wine bottle opener and came back to a ticket in my windshield wiper because I didn’t put two dollars in the parking meter. I grabbed the ticket, careful not to crumple it in my hand, and when the car door closed behind me, I screamed as loudly as I could, just to feel something in the back of my throat. When I got home, I sobbed on the couch for an hour. I told Jo that I wished the parking enforcement agent had just killed me instead, and I meant it.

I’ve been putting on my bravest face through all of this, but I’m not sure I can do it anymore. The other day, I woke up cold and so full of dread, so decidedly unmotivated about the fact that I had no choice but to live out the next twenty-four hours in my skin, that I scared myself. I took a walk on the boardwalk at night just to be alone for a bit and listened to The Menzingers’ On The Impossible Past as loudly as my headphones would allow.

On The Impossible Past is a punk rock album about nostalgia from a speaker who is certain that life has only gotten worse with each passing year. That second thing is the part that resonates with me: the present is awful, until it’s in the past, at which point it doesn’t seem so bad anymore. And look, I’ve spent enough time alone in my bedroom, or driving on the Parkway, or riding the subway in the middle of the night, thinking about my own past that I know I can’t remember a year where I spent even most of its days happy. I think it’s a feature of my depression. It’s impossible to see joy in the present; it’s only visible in the rearview mirror. Singer Greg Barnett sums it up at the end of the second verse in “Gates”: “You’ll carve your names into the Paupack cliffs, / just to read them when you get old enough to know / that happiness is just a moment.” It’s an old picture with a friend you haven’t spoken to in years, a box of mementos and old birthday cards under your bed, your initials carved into a cliffside in an attempt to make the momentary infinite.

When I lived in Queens, the thing I missed most about my hometown in New Jersey was these walks along the boardwalk, from Asbury to Belmar and back. The way it quieted down when I walked there at night, alone with my thoughts and the sounds of waves and seagulls clashing over whatever found its way into my headphones. Asbury Park, Ocean Grove, Bradley Beach, Avon-By-The-Sea, over the bridge into Belmar, the walk back to my car, parked alongside Deal Lake to avoid the parking meters in Asbury. The way the boardwalk changed in texture from weathered driftwood to polymer to concrete as I walked south though the neighboring towns. My feet sweat in my shoes, my ears rang from my music up irresponsibly high, I watched the horizon as barges carried cargo along a sliver of Atlantic, and I thought about coming and going, passing through. It calmed me when I needed it.

The boardwalk is packed these days. I think everyone’s looking for that same feeling I sought, an escape. I can’t blame them for looking.

There’s a bridge in “Mexican Guitars” preceded by a beat where the guitar rings out. For a moment, it sounds like the song is over, like a new song has crept its way over the hill, into view, some small glimpse into an answer to all of this misery that Greg Barnett has invoked. Then, there’s a brief moment of clarity. Greg sings:

“I did what I did to get away from this, ‘cause everything that's happened now has left me a total wreck, and everything that I do now is meaningless, so I'm off to wander around the world for a little bit.”

He continues, as the chorus kicks in for the first time:

“So does anyone know the best way to go? Which road that I could take to get to Mexico? ‘Cause I’m so sick of living in this ditch with only the memories in the back of my head. I’m on cruise control and the radio’s on. Yeah, they’re playing that song that we both learned on our Mexican guitars.”

There’s a sense memory here that draws back that moment of happiness: a song comes on the radio that reminds the speaker of learning to play guitar on a Mexican Fender, an affordable alternative to the pricey American-made models. It kicks in as the driver’s on cruise control—moving forward in a straight line for such a long distance that holding a foot to the gas pedal would be physically cumbersome. If there’s an antidote, a surefire way to relive the moment that is happiness, it’s forward momentum. It’s aimless ambulation. Before the final chorus of “Casey,” Barnett reinforces the idea by employing Springsteen-esque car worship: “Just tell me when you're ready, I'm all packed to go / to search for that old place we found forever ago. / Oh, and we could take my car, yeah, she’s still got the spirit / we could live, we could live, we could live, / and no longer just have to hear it.”

I don’t know if anything’s better anywhere else. I don’t know if there’s some old place or some new place that could possibly serve as a refuge to the uniquely horrifying moment. I read a lot on Twitter and in the news about how this country had a record number of new cases this week, how many hundreds of new cases New Jersey reports each day. But it’s hard not to wonder when you spend every second at home.

I worry that I’ll look back on this time nostalgically. I’m afraid I’ll miss it, erase the sharp edges and long for this miserable, impossible summer, where I spend most of my time browsing the internet, playing video games, and watching movies every night with my girlfriend. I worry I’ll forget the anxiety, the depression, the grief. And when I get to thinking too much about that, I start to wonder if I can really trust myself at all. What if things aren’t as bad as they seem? What if I look back on everything nostalgically because things aren’t so bad in the first place? Do I really need money and a job to be happy, to be at peace? How am I supposed to feel about that?

I don’t have the answers at the moment. All I can say is that, a few nights ago, when I walked in a straight line to Belmar with On The Impossible Past in my headphones, I felt as close to an answer as I’ve ever felt. On “I Can’t Seem To Tell,” Greg sings “I can’t seem to tell if it’s my head or the earth that’s spinnin’ around,” and I nod my head, slowly at first, then sharply.

#bsidecollection

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animnerd · 4 months

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Wanna Bet?

Pair: Bucky x Loki(winterfrost)

No warnings just two guys pinning over each other.

Synopsis: a local country singer(Bucky) comes back from another great concert but little does he know the devil (loki) pays him a visit. Warning: this is my first "winterfrost" please go easy please and also not beta read but please enjoy!

i'm known in the Tennessee state as the best cowboy country singer but that all changed one day as a devil captured my heart.

One day I was just finished with my concert. It was a great concert. I went back to my dressing room to relax. I was sitting in my chair relaxing I closed my eyes. When all of a sudden I hear a voice. "Are you the famous mortal country singer I heard so much about?" The voice sneered. I decided not to answer I figured it was all in my head. Plus no one should be in my dressing room. Unless this is a prank that my band members are pulling….I thought. So I said "Joey if this is you leave now please I want to be alone" the voice laughed. "This is not one of your so called band members open your eyes you pompous meer mortal!" The voice hisses. I opens my eyes and what I see shocked me. I was face to face with the devil himself or what looks like the devil.

He was tall taller then me but that could be because im sitting down…. He had black hair muscled body that was carved from God himself. I couldn't see his eyes they were covered by a very sexy pompadour hat. He chuckles and lifts his head to show fire red eyes. Which made me gulp. He just smirked as he placed his right hand on his hips. "So you didn't answer my question are you the famous country singer I heard about?" I just gulped nods my head he had the biggest cheshire cat grin as he leans over me. "I'm in a rush I need to meet my quota so please give me your soul." I was in shocked I stood up stared at him. "No I like to keep my soul thank you very much." He smirked as he took a step back as he thought about my statment. "Its funny how you mortals think you have a choice. I'll repet myself one more time. I WANT YOUR SOUL!" "I'll repeat myself one more time as well. No!"

He sighed moves back as he walks little fire would be left in his wake as he thinks. I worried that the room would be set on fire. He turns looks at me his hair flips around. "I havs a proposition for you we place a bet if you say your the best country singer of these parts. You can out sing me then i'll leave you alone. Do we have a deal?" He leans down our noses, almost touching. I look up at him biting my lip. I'm trying to keep the blushing off my checks. "Yes we have a deal." I wasn't much of a betting man but my reputarion was on the line how could I not say no! "When do you want to do this?" "Like I said…" as he brushes his thumb over my check and tuck a hair behind my right ear whisper in my ear. "Im in a rush so lets do it now in this room." He answers my second question even before I had the chance to ask it. "Ok ill go first." I get up and walks over to my dresser and grabs my gutair. I open the case to see my old warn out guitar. I pulled it out and walk over to the sexy man who at that moment I didn't catch his name.

He smirks and snaps his fingers he puts fire around the door frame which at first freaks me out. But instead of setting the room on fire it puts a barrier around the door. I look over at him shocked he just shrugs his shoulders. As if he does this everyday which I guess for him he does. I take a breath and walk over close to him and start playing one of my popular songs. I get into the song ignoring the world around me I close my eyes as I sing. Little do I know the devil is inthralled with my song and he becomes nervous. But he hides his demeanor and goes back to the ice cold devil he is. Even Though deep down his ice cold heart has a heartbeat for one particular singer.

When he was done he wanted to clap and declare him the winner but instead he put back on his evil smirk. "Not bad not bad at all but let a real pro show you how is done." He just hoped his cool was showing because he never felt this way about anyone before. He gets up snaps his fingers a bolt of fire appears and a band of demon's and a piano shows up. He walks over to the panio and sits down as he plays the same song as I did. He closes his eyes and gets into the song. I am shocked when I noticed that the piano lifts off the ground and flies around the room. He notices the band going faster not as slow as they first started. They picked up speed and tempo as he goes faster into the middle of the song. He could tell he was really into the song. He had his body moving with the music and what really shocked me was there was musical notes flying around him and he saw flowers? He was very confused. He noticed that once the song was coming to an end the piano came down and I clapped. He oopens his eyes to look over to him smile as I walked over and leans on the piano only to quickly back away. He laughed "it's hot there hot man…. I mean singer… * blushed but cleared his throat he sighs* you won I won't take your soil but I will give you this piano instead." I smiled "thank you for the piano but you keep it." As I wink at him I rather keep the memories." They stared at each other for a while basking in each other's presence. They both didn't want to leave but he smiled, looked at his love one last time bowed and snaped his fingers and they were gone.

Wanna bet part 2

Its been many months since Bucky seen Loki. He almsot gives up hope.....

Loki and Bucky

Warning touch sex. A/n : thank you V(@vbecker10 )for the inspiration for this! Also. Not beta read.

It has been months since I say my crush Loki the devil. During that time I have become more famous and been on more tours. I tried to forget him by telling my heart that it was a one time thing. But every time I tried to date ladies or sleep with them I felt like I was cheating on him. I kept looking around trying to find a sign but six months passed and nothing. I am starting to give up hope until one day….

I was at my newest concert the stadum was full. I walked out and started singing I observed my fans and the almost packed house. Except the three open balcony seats near me. I brushed it off and just focused on the concert untill I looked up and say him in all his glory. Sitting down in the middle seat with his fandora hat smirking at me and winks at me. My checks grew warm but I ignored it and kept singing.

When I hit my last note I bowed to my adoring fans and did an encore. I went back stage my heart was telling me "run to him dufous run!" But I had to hold it together for a little bit longer because I had to sign autographs and take pics. I was trying to rush it but not show it to my fans. Once that was done I ran to my dressing room and slammed open the door. Frantically looking around to find him only to come up empty. I felt my heart being tear out of my chest. I close the door and put my hand through my hair sighing. "It was only my imagination … I should not keep my hopes up anymore…. " As I walk over to the couch laying down. I covered my face with my hand biting my lip until I felt hot fire lick my skin. I jolted up from the couch and turned to see him in a very sexy pose. He had his right hand holding that darn sexy pain in my side hat while his left hand was on his hip he lifted to face me. "Sorry I'm late pet, miss me?" As he lifts his hand with the hat firey red eyes stare into my soul I. I gulp as I slowly nods my head and can't form words. I slowly get up in shocked that he is standing infront of me.

Without me knowing what I was doing I ran to him with tears in my eyes crying. I engulfed him in a hug not wanting to let go. But unfortunately I had to his skin was so hot like fire that it was licking my skin. I jumped back blowing cold air onto my hands. Then my brain caught up to me I stand there flappergasted what I just done. My whole face turned red as I look away and I cleared my throat trying to stay calm about the situation. Iooked over to Loki which I shouldn't have done because he was just standing there smirking at me. He snaped his fingers the fire barrier was up again around the door. It was a silent for quite awhile we didn't know what to do. I wanted to hug him again and confess my feelings for him. But I knew that wasnt right so I played with my fingers gulped. "its been awhile….where have you been?" "Sorry pet hell has kept me busy and away from you for longer then I inttend. Miss me?"

I couldn't believe he was asking such a stupid question… Yes I missed him didnt the hug give it away? And the tears? But I gathered my thoughts and squre my shoulder looked into his eyes "yes I missed you like you wouldn't belive…" Bitting my lip to see his reaction. Was he going to reject me? Or is my feelings going to be known to him and it ends positively….. I held my breath for what felt like hours untill he comes my way with open arms and hugs me without the fire.

"Pet I miss you so badly." I was shocked my mouth hang open on his shoulder as I wrap my arms around him. I smiled big I held him tightly to me as if I don't want to let go of him ever. I felt like he felt the same without saying it. I closed my eyes, smelling his scent. It smelt like fire, wood, mischief… wait is that a smell? I liked his scent. It felt like home, a place where I could be safe from the outside world. I didn't want to let go but I felt him pushing back against me. I pouted looked up into his eyes. He laughed. "Don't look so down pet I was just going to suggest we sit down and talk we can still touch. I know you had a long concert and you must be tired." As he takes my hand I'm shocked that i'm not taking my hand away from him because of being burned as he leads me to the couch.

He sits me down on the couch then lifts me and sits me on his lap and plays with my hair. I look into his eyes. "What took you so long! I almost gave up hope of ever seeing you again!" He looked sad "i don't ever want that to happen to my pet… I'm sorry we had some issues and trouble down in hell and I couldn't leave. Even though my heart aches for you every night when I try to sleep. I kept thinking about your contagious smile, your stubbornness, your can-do attitude, your fire that my heart kept longing for you. Until one day I had enough and we were mostly done anyway so I told my gones to finish up and I came to see you." As he plays with my hair and leans forward he looks into my eyes for permission. Once he is satisfied he leans down and kisses my chine. My body shivers my eyelids flutter, I try to keep my composure. I gulp "im…..glad….you….got…the….job…done…my….devil…. I….was…missing….you…something….fierce…. I tried to find distractions since I didn't see any …..signs of you….but they never worked….. I almost gave up hope…. "

as his tantalizing lips went down from my chin to my neck I could feel his cold lips on my hot burning skin. I could feel he left something on both sides of my neck but I ignored that for now. I was so blissful that I whined and took off his shirt. He laughed and helped take off mine and undo my pants too. He leaned back and looked at his work on my neck and smirked. "I just gave you the biggest hickeys. Now no one can touch you sexually unless it's me. Also, they know who you belong too now." As he helps me undo my pants.

I start to help him with his untill he put a hand over mine and shock his head. "Tonight its about you being pleasured not me." As he lifts me up like I weigh nothing and takes my pants off. Sets me back down on his legs. He brings me close so that we are touching as I face him. He wraps his right hand under my chin and pulls me to him as we kiss and get reacquainted with each other. His left hand goes agonizingly slow down my body wanting to explore. But to get to know every inch of my body I whine into the kiss but he bites my lip.

"bad boys gets slaps do you want that my pet?" As he licks his lips tilts his head. As his fiery red eyes stared into me. I bit my lip smirks. "Do your worse" he laughs "oh your feisty too. I like that as his left hand goes back down and rubs over my left ass check. Before slapping it to the point that there is a firey red handprint on my check. I hisss in pain which makes Loki have a look of concern on his face. But before he says anything the door handel wiggles and a voice says "Bucky are you ready for the after party?" As the door slowly opens…..

@lokisjoyfulgoddess

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