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#i left out the super gory stuff lol
whumpypepsigal · 1 year
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Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities s01e05 “Pickman's Model"
**requested by xx”
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mengyao · 9 months
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do I know about welcome to dark fuck princess island yet... if not I would like to.
HAHA... welcome to dark fuck princess island is the amalgamation of stuff pruned from two other beefleaf fics, one being my big unpublished postcanon sqx fic and the other being the most recent one i posted, which was supposed to have a postcanon section to it that i had to cut due to a deadline that was going to come before i could finish writing it...
i have plans to do a sensitive, emotionally realistic character study of postcanon shi qingxuan that charts a believable beefleaf reconciliation arc while prioritizing sqx's agency and self-worth. that's the big one. this is the wretched idfic runoff of that other fic, which is superior in every way but makes you wait quite a bit longer for them to fuck nasty
to be more specific... my postcanon sqx fic originally had a real deep vein of gothic romance going on that i eventually realized was chafing super hard at the main thrust of the story, which has a pretty different tone and vibe to it. (it's obviously still a little bit gothic romance because it's a romance fic about getting back together with the ghost who killed your brother so you know.) so i took the stuff that was the most, like, lesbian phantom of the opera out of there and combined it with stuff that i cut from my most recent fic (which in case you haven't read it, is about them hooking up lesbianly during the long con era in a way where he xuan is power tripping hard via some non-negotiated d/s and verbal humiliation stuff. lol,). that cut stuff was about beefleaf reuniting postcanon in a mildly dubcon lesbian harlequin romance manner and having really ill-advised sex shortly afterwards, which is like, surely going to have negative implications for both of their mental health and well-being. but sqx is also experiencing a lot of intense emotions over the fact that the sex they're having is unambiguously lesbian in nature and it's really emotionally confusing and guilt-inducing that even though she's legitimately pretty scared of this person a) they both clearly still desire each other carnally despite everything and b) whatever else sqx may be feeling, she realizes that hx still "gets" her gender more than anyone else has or possibly ever will... she feels seen... :(
it's some kind of situation where sqx gets sick or injured in some way in their day to day life, wakes up at nether water manor having been benevolently kidnapped, and then proceeds to be a gothic fantasy ya novel heroine wandering around the haunted mansion she's not technically "imprisoned" within but also has no way to leave... also after the first interaction or two they have, which are just supremely awkward because they're both in the same place they were when Alla That happened and also in the same forms they were then, hx is female form-ing it up... this is really genuinely just trashy erotic horror, so sqx is like unpacking the implications of their now retrospectively dubcon dalliances past while finding herself thrilled and terrified to discover that it doesn't make her want hx any less... i think sqx has also been having gory horrific erotic dreams about hx intermittently over the past however-long-it's-been. and she feels really fucked up and stupid and embarrassing for not being over it.
but this is not like slow burn or anything so they DO have sex again way more quickly than they ought to and the vibes are super rancid but like, in a sexy way, like peak [ao3 tag voice] Consensual But It Shouldn't Be. "on god you two should never see each other again for your own good but it's too late now so you might as well give in to your dark passions" shit. the most embarrassing aspect of all of this is that i think it ends with some kind of impulsive shotgun elopement which, in my head at least, is modeled after this one corvosider fic i read 10 years ago that nonetheless left a BIG impact on my psyche
so. that's. that. LOL
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papirouge · 7 months
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I had no idea that you were going to have surgery D: That's pretty scary to me, I've never had to go through that in my life thankfully as anything to do with blood or gory stuff creeps me out.
Im the anon that though my message didnt send... sorry, obviously i dont want to pressure you, its just that i only use tumblr in my shitty laptop since i dont want to become a phone addict and thus ive never dowloaded the tumblr app... i probably didnt read your post about it because of this reason.
Im glad everything went well and your mom is there to take care of you. Just rest and focus on getting better.
Don't worry, it wasn't a big deal but yeah, the anesthesia was pretty stressful + I got a little cold just before the surgery, so it didn't really helped the recovery...🤒
I left Tumblr less for recovery because of the surgery, than for spiritual reasons. I felt under attack lately. Everything seems to fall apart lately... My job is getting extremely demanding to the point I'm about to lose it, my brother in law lost his job, and another sister lost both her relationship and apartment.... Thank God my mother is okay (she's currently traveling in Italia enjoying her retirement lol 👵🏾🇮🇹🍝) but yeah....
I got my suicide ideations back that's why I'm currently into a spiritual warfare. I threw away my remaing idols (physical jpop discs that I cherished - Ayumi Hamasaki, Kanon Wakeshima, Karia Nomoto...) because I refused to remain an hypocrite any longer. I rebuke secular music in the name of Jesus. I want to be free, so I prayed to God to make me "merciless" and He granted me this wish. It was hard but I know I did the right thing. I refuse to turn back. Obedience to God is in the small things, and it's been a while He was telling me to pick me side. My idols, or Him.
Every struggling season is a way for God to step up. He always works like that. I'm still super stress about work and my family, but I know He'll make a way.
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devil-doll13 · 1 year
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🖊️ for Maxwell!
So remember when I said the time period he might’ve been in was the 80s?
Max. Had. A Mullet.
Like in his awkward phase when he was still growing his hair out-ish his brothers probably convinced him he looked great but no,,, he can’t rock it
Also unless he sticks to his tried and true leather jacket/denim/plaid holy trinity he is a fashion disaster and I sorta hc he’s in some way colourblind? Like he can see colours but he sometimes has a hard time telling them apart. He mostly stays with the primary colours because those are easy.
Max is of course a metalhead but he tends to stick more to heavy/thrash metal, more extreme stuff he can’t get into the harsh vocals/growls basically and honestly low-key the gory and satanic imagery freaks the guy out a bit lol.
He loves slushies but ONLY the blue ones
Max has never been abroad and has never left the USA in his entire life. Any holidays he had were very modest due to budget constraints. He probably went on those summer caravan trips most of the time. That’s why when he started touring with his band (even though it ended badly/was underwhelming most of the time) he was super excited.
As a kid he loved the old transformers cartoons.
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fandomfourever · 1 year
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Random Scooby Doo Thoughts My Brain Had in the Middle of the Night
I don’t know why but my brain decided to come up with this whole thing at like midnight-1 am, and I’m not even like, a huge Scooby Doo fan (meaning I have watched several episodes of the original and What’s New Scooby Doo, some movies, the Supernatural crossover ep, and all of Mystery Inc, but I’m not super knowledgeable on all the lore and there’s several versions of Scooby Doo shows and stuff I haven’t watched), so keep that in mind with the rambling going on below, lol.
So as of seeing the discussions on Velma, and various people talking about how it was meant to be a more “adult” version of Scooby Doo and how well that turned out /s, I figured I’d throw my two cents in about what I personally would like a more grown-up/adult version of Scooby Doo to be.
The kind of more adult version of Scooby Doo I’d personally like to see, would be something along the lines of like a combination of Criminal Minds/Supernatural/Stranger Things. Meaning, the Scooby Gang would be adults, probably in their late 20s or early 30s, and solving mysteries would be their jobs, and the mysteries would be perpetrated half the time by humans, and half the time by monsters (or some other kind of split, but I think the addition of the supernatural would be key) but they never know which it is until they’re already on the case, obviously. However, the government would be paying them for the human crimes, and covering up the actual monster crimes. I would’ve gone with the freelancer type business where the government isn’t involved, but I think having this dynamic could open up some interesting plot lines of corrupt government and such.
The mysteries/crimes they’d be solving would be less “masked person scares people off the land they want to steal” (though this could still obviously be part of it), and more like, legit murders and kidnapping happening. The stakes should be bigger, and consequences more severe. It doesn’t have to be super gory, but I think keeping it along the lines of the shows I mentioned would be good.
The tone of this would be obviously darker than most versions—including Mystery Inc—but it would still retain its humor. I’d want it to reference other versions of Scooby Doo, either through characters coming back from older versions, or as past mysteries they’ve solved and talk about.
When it comes to characterization and their roles on the team:
I’d see Fred as for sure the Trap Guy, but he also takes on a more leader-like role (like Hotch from CM) but also still be a little silly (I’d also think of him a bit like Dean from SPN). He’d be the one coming up with the main plans still. The key is that he’s a good dude! A proper Himbo, not a manbaby.
Daphne would mostly handle the PR aspect of the job, though she also is capable of fighting if need be (think a combo of JJ and Prentiss from CM). She would obviously still be going out “in the field” with the group. I think she and Fred would be the ones that would be taking the brunt of actually talking to local government officials and “upper class” witnesses/victims wherever they go for cases.
Velma is their tech girl, and does a majority of the research. She’d have hacking skills, too, but she wouldn’t be left behind, she’d still go with the rest of the gang (think a combo of Garcia and Reid from CM, but also Sam from SPN). Her research handles the more human crimes than monster crimes.
Shaggy and Scooby would still be cowards, but I think this would lend well to their roll in the group. I’d have this be why Shaggy actually has a lot of knowledge of the monsters/supernatural. Due to being scared of so many things, he wants to be ready, just in case the crimes are being committed by monsters.
Scooby would talk in this, due to being of supernatural origin himself. I’m unsure if the alien lore for him is only in one version of Scooby Doo, or if it comes up in multiple versions, but it would either be he and his family have alien heritage, or some sort of fae. Either way, in this none of them would know at first, but Scooby would have the natural ability (though it’d need training) to sense the supernatural.
Eventually we’d get Fred and Shaggy, and Velma and Daphne becoming couples. Because I say so, lol.
When it comes to the actual setting of this, I’m kind of split.
I think one interesting way of going about it could be setting this in the 90s, where they would’ve been born in the 60s/70s (ya know like when the original series came out ;) ). With this, Shaggy would’ve grown up in a hippie family, perhaps nomadic as well up to a point (settling down when he reached middle or high school allowing him to meet the others and forming the gang). Maybe Daphne or Fred’s parents were Reagan types, causing them to rebel against them. Perhaps Velma’s parent(s) were the conspiracy theorist types, thus her desire to prove that it’s only humans committing crimes (though eventually realizing that monsters are real).
Obviously, the other option would be setting this in modern times. Shaggy would be considered more of a hipster in this than an outright hippie. We could still keep aspects of what I said above, but with more modern equivalents, you know? While I’d personally lean more towards the first one, this does allow some fun things. Example: Potential crossover or reference to ghost hunting shows like Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures, and/or Ghost Files/Buzzfeed Supernatural. The mental image of the gang coming across Shane and Ryan does make me snort (Shane saying he doesn’t believe in demons or monsters, and Scoob in the background is just staring at him suspiciously lol).
Though of course, if we go with the first option, there’s no reason they couldn’t make reference to the Warrens.
Either way, the backstory for them all would be that they met and formed the gang in middle/high school and started solving mysteries. Then they just continued as they got older and turned it into a proper job, with the government allowing it due to how many cases they solves and how well they did. We'd explore this through flashbacks and such.
Kind of going back a bit, I would love to see the return of several characters/plot lines: The Hex Girls, Ravencroft, Scrappy and other Scooby relatives, the whole Zombie Island thing (I think more could be done with it, or referenced in some way), something to do with the 2000s live action movies, the girls from the Ghoul School, maybe have Shaggy get turned into a werewolf (in a darker way than done in the cartoon).
This sort of show would have the Monster Of The Week, but still have over-arching plot lines each season (assuming this would go on for multiple seasons). I’d imagine some of it would deal with the government corruption, and whether they should keep covering up the supernatural or if it would be better for people to know the truth. Other plot lines could deal with Scooby’s powers and family. We could also have plot lines that deal with how doing this sort of work puts not only the gang in danger, but their family and loved ones. I'd like to see it tackle how doing all this since being teens has affected the gang, too.
I don’t know whether this would be better to go live action, or keep it a cartoon, but I think it could be done well either way. Matthew Lillard is playing Shaggy regardless, lol. I do think there'd be more freedom in a cartoon, but only if the art style was good.
Anyway, that’s all my brain came up with last night.
Feel free to share your two-cents on this! I’d love to know what people think about this, if it makes sense with the Scooby Doo universe or whatever, or if it seems like a bit much for them, or if this gave any of you ideas of how this could be done. Just keep it kind, regardless of if you agree or disagree, this is all just for fun.
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sydmarch · 1 year
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(Prev 8 Arms anon) I'm sorry to hear you had such a less than pleasant time in the fandom :( I can relate, recently bit the bullet and left all the spidey n doc ock servers I was in. I won't let the internet spoil spider-man for me, as sonething I grew up with. Fully understandable you likely won't continue and I support you on it. I am admittedly curious on what your plans were for it, and wonder if it would be okay to maybe unofficially continue it, or something inspired off it?
thank you anon! i will say the VAST majority of my time spent in the doc ock fandom was great & overall it was one of the most fun fandoms i've been part of and i look back on my time there very fondly.
really it was just a few people who... i guess i can say we had irreconcilable differences of opinion for lack of a better way to put it while remaining vague.. became influential enough in the fandom& main server that i ended up feeling pushed out. really there was just one specific change to the server that was the final straw for me & i left the next day but i won't go more into detail on any of that in public posts LOL
so this ask had me open my google doc of this fic for the first time in ages to get my notes & i realized i had the first half of ch3 written but never posted so i've added that on ao3!
honestly i would be SOOO flattered if you wanted to continue the fic i'd be more than ok with that! can't believe people liked my silly little story that much! as for what i had planned for it i did have some super rough draft notes i'd written up for the remainder of the fic which i'll throw beneath the cut:
basically i had planned for the rest of chapter 3 to be the surgery itself - the actuators operate & otto eventually passes out of course. probably nothing TOO gory since my intention of this fic was to be mostly kink focused & angst at the beginning with a happy ending. so after the surgery he's kind of delirious from pain and in infection and the hospital employee he'd injured ends up finding him, having not been hurt seriously during the break in they followed him back & kind of hovered around a bit watching things unfold for a bit before revealing themselves like "that was a really stupid thing you did, you need antibiotics. no you ARE going to let me help you with this because otherwise you are going to die" & they get to know each other while the oc/reader stand in helps get him back to full health. & eventually he starts to work through some of his issues by having someone else to be close with etc etc. and then of course the feedism stuff too i'd put down a note that there should be a scene where the other character is like "so WHY were you doing something this dumb in the first place" & when otto's awkwardly explaining they get REALLY embarrassed hearing about it but not for the reasons otto thinks. classic feedism fic miscommunication moment yknow. oh & my notes also include a line i planned the other character to say at some point which i think kind of sums up the thesis for how i intend their relationship to end up & that's “you’ve been getting fat because you aren’t taking care of yourself. From now on i want you getting fat because im taking care of you”
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ayzrules · 3 years
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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D
  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////
  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 
✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.
  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.
  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 
  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao
✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo
  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.
  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.
  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?
  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.
  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well
✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???
  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).
  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.
  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.
  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.
✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.
  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!
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dirty-bosmer · 2 years
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I just finished reading through the entire Part 2 of The Illusionist. And holy shit. First of all, the sheer size of it. It’s so long, that alone is impressive. And you still manage to keep the tension up and keep things exciting. I literally had the tab with the fic open on my phone 24/7 and went back to reading whenever I could, even at work.
And damn, your Lucien really is something else. He’s horrible, but in a great way cause you make him such an interesting character. And it makes total sense for him not to be a nice dude :D I found him with Antoinetta especially uncomfortable (again, in a good way).
And I love Nim so much as well. I’m often rather indifferent to OCs, but she won me over. She deserves the world and you gotta stop torturing her :D
But now that the bad stuff is over they’ll be totally happy forever and live happily ever after. Lucien’s contract will go well without any problems, Nim will be happy and stable and the new Silencer problem will just vanish into thin air. Right?
I’m super excited about the next chapter(s) and I hope you know you’re an awesome writer. I hadn’t read any fanfiction at all for years and now I’m hooked again. I guess I’m just Lucien trash^^
And before I forget, one thing I love is the way you write about eyes. Their expressions have so much weight in your writing and you describe that and the colors and emotions so well. I love it.
Oh goodness, the support I have received for this story is enough to bring me to tears. When I saw this notification I was too excited to not respond so sorry if my reply is hectic haha.
Yup this story is soooooo godamn long lol. Initially, it was supposed to be broken into two parts, but I'm not sure it even matters at this point since the series is already like 600,000 words plus. The latter half of part 2 has become pretty self-indulgent, so the fact that you have been following it to the latest update AND enjoying it is beyond me, and I really can't appreciate you enough :')
Thank you sooo much for sharing your thoughts on these characters and their interactions with one another. I'm really so relieved to hear that the uncomfortable, gritty, gory details of Nim's life have been received with understanding. I realize it's a very dark exploration of TES lore and the DB, SI, and MQ plotlines, and I've always been a little terrified that a reader would think I'm trying to romanticize some of these horrible experiences. Personally, I tend to gravitate toward darker media because I like to explore what makes me uncomfortable and disturbed. Also, it seems I struggle with fluff and I can only write angst. But yes, you are so right - Lucien is kind of a monster, and I've really been out here torturing Nim for two years XD The fact that you acknowledge it and still like them as characters makes me feel like I've been doing my job tho, so I'm comforted by that a little bit hehe :)
Anyway, thank you again for this comment! You really have no idea how happy this feedback makes me and I'm always left with a surge of gratitude (and motivation) after reading it <3
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moral-turpitudes · 3 years
Text
Butterflies 🦋: Part 2
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Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of fighting, Gore, Blood, Mentions of Death, Angst, Fluff, Swearing, etc.
Word Count: 3,993
Summary: Y/N and Esmeralda are left to look after things and are planning for the wedding, meanwhile Bonnie and his father are on yet another perilous mission for Thomas Shelby.
Requested: Nah
A/N: I’ve worked on this in my drafts for days cuz my motivation has been super shitty recently so I hope this doesn’t suck as much as I think it does lol. I appreciate all the feedback on these fics and stuff though, it means the world. <3
Part 1 | Part 2
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Aberama and Bonnie’s footsteps echoed over the expanse of hallowed ground, the leaves crunching as they walked through the brisk morning air, causing the hair on the back of their necks to stand on edge. In the distance Tommy and his brothers were standing near a tombstone, the thick fog eerily clearing where he stood as they got closer. He wore his usual dusty black coat and had his peaked cap sitting perfectly atop his head. 
“Now that you all are here, I say it’s about time we get this over with aye?” He asked, his icy gaze piercing Bonnie’s.
“Where are they Tom? Are we bait now?” Aberama asked, frustration lacing his voice.
“No. They told me to meet them here. If you look off to the distance they dug a grave, for us. We won’t go in there though, not today.” He said, taking a drag from his cigarette. 
“Do you have your men positioned behind the trees?” Tommy asked.
“Yes. We have 5 men, not much but they’re good shots.” Bonnie said.
“Good.” Tommy said, turning around and scanning the tree line.
A shot rung out down near the grave suddenly, causing Tommy, his brothers, and Bonnie and Aberama to duck behind the nearby tombstones.
Tommy got his machine gun and loaded it expertly, taking aim where the shot came from as Aberama did the same. Bonnie looked out from the side of the decaying gray stone in front of him, his hands shaking slightly.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw John aim for someone to the side of them. John missed the first time, making him have to stop and reload. Without thinking, Bonnie quickly aimed and steadied his breathing, pretending it was similar to hunting for his own sake. He watched the mans movements in the distance like he would a deer, estimating the best angle and time to shoot.
With a single pull of the trigger, the bullet flew through the air and hit the man in the chest as he turned, giving Bonnie an easy shot in the end.
John looked back and nodded at him before aiming again, this time at the three men barreling towards them.
Aberama looked on as they came running and then stuck his finger in the air, moving it in a swift motion, signaling their men to shoot.
Shots rang out seemingly from all sides, as the three men tried to make it past the hail of bullets, but none of them escaped, falling with an audible thud on the near-frozen ground.
A whistle then came from the distance, giving the gruesome scene before them an eerie feeling.
“It’s those damn Billy Boys again... We have to take them out. Wait for my orders.” Tommy said, changing his clips and looking on ahead.
The Billy Boys sang loudly as they marched forward clutching their guns. The rest of the men from the troublesome gang were close behind them.
“I count 4 men from the gang, and 5 Billy Boys...” John said over their singing.
“Alright, Arthur you stay with me, Bonnie you take the right, Aberama you take the left. John you back Bonnie up.” He said, loading the last of the bullets into his machine gun.
With a deep breath Tommy got the unruly lead member, Jimmy McCavern, in his sights and steadied himself like he did in the war.
“In the bleak midwinter...” He muttered quietly under his breath, before taking his shot.
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Back at the camp, Y/N and Esmeralda helped plan the wedding down to the last details. They excitedly talked about the food and music they’ll have and Bonnie’s younger sisters even helped Y/N learn some of the dances they traditionally did.
As the day went on, the sun started poking through the trees in dancing golden beams as they prepared lunch, adjusting the portions since most of the men were gone.
Y/N sat down and looked into the crackling flames of the bonfire, letting the warmth soothe her cold skin.
“You okay love?” Esmeralda said, a concerned look on her face as she stirred the kettle over the flames.
“Yeah...just worried ya know? It’s not easy being here without him.” Y/N said running her finger over the small diamond ring.
“They know what they’re doing. They’ll be back. If not, me and you will just have to go over there ourselves.” She said with a wink. Y/N smiled and gathered some bowls, finally working up a somewhat decent appetite after all the cleaning and wedding preparations earlier in the morning.
She and the remaining people there all sat around, talking about random things and discussing their plans for the wedding decorations and music, some asking her opinion, others excitedly showing her jewelry or clothing she could borrow.
“I’d get to resting if I were you Y/N who knows, they may be home later.” Esmeralda said, draping a blanket over your shoulders. She didn’t realize that she had been going nonstop all day, partly to relish in her excitement, and partly to take her mind off how her fiancé was off fighting in one of Thomas Shelby’s little battles.
“That’s true. I’ll go do that I guess...wake me if you need help.” Y/N said before going into the forest green vardo. Her head hit the pillow and she reluctantly closed her eyes, wanting to sleep but not wanting to wake later in fear of getting her hopes up.
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Shots rang out in the graveyard, the cold air a bleak afterthought as the bullets pierced through the fog and into the men’s flesh.
Tommy ducked as Aberama took over, shooting two of the 5 Billy Boys. Meanwhile Arthur fought a fourth one who ran off towards the tree line. Jimmy struggled to breathe, choking on his own blood on the frozen dirt as the last of the Billy Boys ran towards Bonnie and John.
Bonnie shot quickly, aiming for the mans head, missing just by a hair. John then shot, hitting him in the shoulder. But before Bonnie could finish him off, he felt a sharp pain in his arm, blood trickling down as he stared at the smoking gun a few feet in front of him. John shot him dead while Bonnie retreated behind the tombstone for a moment to assess his wound. It was bleeding pretty badly and he hissed as the pain tore through his arm as he tied some cloth around it.
“Bonnie are you okay?!” His father yelled as he ran over to him and ducking by a nearby tombstone as well.
“Missed an artery but still bleeding pretty bad. He was a terrible shot, I’ll be fine.” He said, winking at his father slightly before checking the clip in his gun. Aberama took a long glance at him and then at the other 4 men who were no doubt doing business with the now-deceased Billy Boys.
They nervously ran towards Tommy who was aiming again and Aberama watched as Arthur stood in a bloody mess over the last of the Billy Boy bodies.
“Take them out.” Tommy yelled.
Aberama signaled again as Bonnie and John shot at the men, their shots piercing through two of them while the other two managed to almost get to Tommy, a bullet whizzing past his head before the pair were shot by the men in the tree line.
As the last of the bodies dropped, an eerie silence fell over Tommy and the rest.
They all worked together, painstakingly dragging the bodies to the grave that was dug, only to be stopped in their tracks by an odd object in the center of the hole.
“Stop! Don’t throw them in. Get back!” Tommy yelled.
“What is it Tom?” Arthur said as he watched his brothers gears turning frantically in his head.
“A bomb.” He said loudly.
“Everyone get back, do we have anything not valuable...and heavy?” He asked the group.
“We have our guns...but...we need them Tom.” John said.
“We can get more. Give them to me, every one of you.” He said.
Aberama reluctantly let his go, as did Bonnie and Tommy’s brothers followed suit.
Tommy gathered them all, including his in his arms and stood near the edge of the grave.
“Everyone go. Now.” He said.
“What? No of course not! Are you mad?” John yelled.
“Fucking go. That’s an order. Now!” He said, his eyes piercing his brothers.
They swallowed hard and took a look at their brother before running towards the fragile shelter of the tombstones with Aberama and Bonnie following.
Tommy took a few steps back, checking the weight of the guns in his arms before closing his eyes and whispering to himself once again, the images of Grace and Charlie playing in his mind before he got a running start, chucking the guns at the center of the hole and desperately running for his life.
In the 30 seconds it took for the guns to make an impact, the ground rumbled around the bodies of the men they killed and eventually erupted in a loud fiery boom, sending their limbs flying and Tommy slamming into the ground, covering his head in a desperate attempt to save himself.
As the dirt, debris, and blood fell down on him, the others watched nearby as the gross mixture rained down on them as well.
Tommy got up slowly, his ears ringing loudly and vision blurring as he held his arm, wincing at the deep cut that came from some of the debris.
“Fucking hell he’s alive...” John said in disbelief. Tommy always found a way to cheat death, in some twisted way.
As he limped slightly to the men, he lit a cigarette, bringing it to his muddy, blood stained lips.
“I’ll deliver your guns and your payment. Tell your men you all are free to go. Thank you for the help Mr. Gold.” He said looking at Aberama as blood dripped down his arm.
“They better be good guns because we’ll need them Mr. Shelby. Let us know when you need us and we’ll be there, if the pay is right of course.” He said.
“It’ll be right, you’ll see.” He said, before waving them off and inspecting his arm.
Bonnie and Aberama slowly walked off after saying goodbye, leaving the gory scene behind them as they walked through the damp grass, the sun glowing in the autumn afternoon. The fog had cleared, revealing the true mess they’d made.
“You’ll need to get that cleaned up before Y/N sees ya know...she’ll kick your ass.” One of their men said, chuckling.
“Oh I will. She’ll kick my ass regardless, because she hates that I’m gone.” He said.
“You’ll see her soon my boy, soon.” Aberama said as they walked down the muddy road and to their horses.
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Y/N awoke to yet another empty spot beside her, making her heart drop slightly as she assumed the worst.
Wrapping a blanket around her shoulders and stepping out of the vardo, she walked towards the bonfire which was going strong thanks to Bonnie’s sisters.
“They’re not back Y/N, don’t worry though they’ll be here I’m sure of-“ His younger sister started to say before being cut off by the sound of hooves in the distance.
“It’s them!” She said before getting up with her sister, including Esmeralda.
Y/N joined them as they walked towards the slightly worn path that lead out of the camp and waited. Her eyes darting between everyone. When the men stopped and got off their horses, and that’s when she saw him.
They were all covered in dirt and god knows what, blood and debris covering their hair and clothes. But he stood out amongst the men, having a bright red cloth wrapped around his arm.
Y/N’s eyes grew wide as she walked towards him quickly, hoping he wasn’t hurt too badly.
She didn’t say anything though, just ran into his arms, doing all she could not to hurt him.
“Told you I’d come back my love...” He said smiling down at her, exhausted.
“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, trying to look at his arm.
“Just a bullet to the arm, I’ll need to get it looked at though. I’m okay love I promise.” He said, looking into her eyes before bringing his lips to hers.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” She said, taking his hand and leading him to one of the logs near the bonfire.
“Sit here I’ll be back.” She said, getting a pail of water, some fresh cloth, and alcohol.
“Need any help?” Aberama asked, walking over as she laid the items out.
“Yes please.” She said grinning as she moved Bonnies sleeve out of the way and carefully unwrapped the blood soaked cloth.
“You have a knife?” Y/N asked.
“Always, here you go. Bonnie bite down on this cloth here alright?” He said shoving a dark cloth in his mouth.
Y/N had helped Aberama a couple of times before when some of the men came back from hunting or getting into fights, so she hoped she could at least dislodge a bullet.
She carefully used the tip of the knife to feel around, cutting a bit to fit her finger into the hole, grabbing the bullet quickly. Bonnie grunted in pain as she did so, and only got louder as she poured the alcohol into the wound.
“Here’s this, remeber that stitch I showed you dear?” Aberama asked. Y/N nodded and put the handle of the knife in her mouth, brows furrowing in concentration while she stitched him up.
She took the knife and cut a clean strip of cloth and tied it around his arm, wiping her hands in the water as she did her hands of the crimson mess. Bonnie took the cloth out of his mouth and composed himself a bit as he watched her clean up and come back with another bowl of water and soap.
“Sorry my love, I know that hurt.” She said caressing his cheek.
“It’s alright, I’m glad you helped me out lord knows no would’ve bled out if we didn’t get back soon.” He said.
“I know...do you want to talk about it?” She asked, bringing the wet cloth to his face, clearing it of all the dirt and blood.
“I don’t want to cause you any stress love. But I’m here and that’s all that matters.” He said, drying his face and hands and then bringing Y/N in close.
“Did you all have fun planning the wedding?” He asked.
“Yes! I think you’re going to love what we’ve picked out. I also learned some of the dances thanks to your sisters...” Y/N said looking up at him as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Oh really? Do you think you could take on my dad? He’s the best dancer of us.” He said chuckling.
“I’ll have to bribe him to dance huh. This will be fun...I can’t wait to marry you Bonnie Gold.” Y/N said kissing him as the sun set over the flames of the fire, the night growing colder as time went on.
“Let’s get some sleep love, you need it. We have a big day tomorrow.” She said winking at him, getting up and carefully walking to their vardo.
Bonnie smiled and got up, following behind her and up into the vardo where the warm bed awaited them.
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The birds chirped loudly the next morning, stirring Y/N awake. She ran her hand over her small bump while looking out the little window, her eyes going to the new sights before her. She giggled to herself as she got up carefully, slipping on her robe and slippers before stepping out of the vardo.
“Have you been up all night decorating?” She asked, a playful grin on her lips as she questioned Esmeralda who was finishing up throwing petals on the ground.
“What...? No....” She said, giggling as Y/N came over, giving her a hug.
“It looks beautiful. Thank you so much for all this...” Y/N said looking at the lamps placed all around the cleared open space, the only things out were wooden seats set up with the petals all over the ground, and a small platform that was covered in various flowers.
“Now I know Bonnie is asleep, but I wanted to help you get ready for the big day, and I don’t want him to see you until it’s time to say “I do” alright? He’ll be so surprised it’ll be great.” Esmeralda said excitedly.
“Should I wake him at least?” Y/N asked as Esmeralda led her to her vardo.
“No. Aberama will take care of him, you’ll be with me alllll day!” She said, having Y/N sit on her bed while she got out a dress. It was a white lace dress that flowed almost down to the floor.
“Wait you want me to wear that? Is...isn’t that...” Y/N trailed off.
“The one you saw in Small Heath? Yes. I remember when we went to the shops just looking around for fun. And well, you’ll know why I got it, soon.” She said mischievously.
“Oh I love it! I can’t believe it. Oh my I’ll pay you back I swear it.” Y/N said giving her a hug.
Esmeralda giggled as she broke from her embrace to help Y/N slip on the dress. She zipped it up and led her over to a small mirror where she could move it around to see it at various angles. It hugged her small bump which was slightly more prominent now unlike in her other loose fitting clothes.
“I’m gonna be racking my brain all night for how you got this just so you know. This is fucking beautiful.” Y/N said twirling around slightly.
“Bonnie will love it. We got him a suit too. You’ll see.” She said winking. After Y/N got situated she sat patiently while the girls did her hair and makeup, giving her a bold red lip.
After they finished that, Y/N helped them get all dressed up as well in various colored dresses and jewelry.
“Here, I forgot these.” One of the younger sisters said, pinning gold earrings to Y/N’s ears and placing a gold necklace around her neck. It complimented the dress nicely, the suns rays bouncing off the jewels and the sparkling dress.
After one more look in the mirror she felt tears prick at her eyes, threatening to fall. She felt beautiful for the first time in so long, and she was so excited to start this new chapter, never thinking she’d make it this far because of her past home-life. She sighed, thinking about how her parents should be there, but she looked at the women before her and realized she had all the family she needed right there in this small forested area, and she couldn’t be happier.
“You okay?” Esmeralda said rubbing her back lightly.
“Yeah...I’m just so excited, and happy, it’s also a bit terrifying if I’m honest.” She said wiping her eyes gently, not wanting to ruin her makeup.
“This is going to be one of the best nights of your life Y/N, just wait.” She said giving her a reassuring hug.
“I don’t know where I’d be without any of you. I love you guys so much.” Y/N said smiling and hugging them before taking a deep breath and stepping out of the vardo.
She felt the cool ground on her feet, not wanting to wear heels as they’d just sink in the damp earth. She was carefully led behind the vardo to an elaborately colored curtain that hung between two of the trees. Esmeralda placed a string of flowers in her hair before going to her seat, and she saw Aberama in a nice suit walking up to her.
“Are you ready?” He asked, a gentle smile playing across his lips.
“Yes.” She said quietly, nervously holding onto his arm as he walked her through the curtain and down towards the flower covered platform.
Some of the people who lived in the camp played instruments as she walked, the music filling the air as she looked out and saw all of the people she’s gotten to know there over the past year, and saw Tommy and the other blinders among the guests, watching her as she made her way to Bonnie. She looked at him with a huge grin as he watched her walk with his father up onto the platform, the blinders friend Jeremiah acting as the officiant off to the side of them. Aberama let go of her arm and hugged her gently and patted Bonnie on the back before heading to his seat.
“You look absolutely beautiful my love.” He said smiling down at her.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She said looking up at him, her eyes searching his.
As Jeremiah concluded the ceremony, everyone cheered, the loud music consuming their ears as they kissed.
They then waded through the small crowd, Bonnie introducing Y/N to various people he knew that came in from other areas. But Y/N had a sneaky suspicion whilst chatting with them. Tommy was eyeing them in the distance as she spoke to some of Bonnies friends, making her a bit uneasy. She knew he wasn’t as bad as he had been made out to be, but she couldn’t help feel nervous and Bonnie could tell.
“Hey let me introduce you to them better than I did last time aye?” He said taking her hand and leading her over to them. Tommy’s face faltered from his usual grimace to a warm smile as they approached.
“Mr. and Mrs. Gold....congratulations.” He said shaking Bonnies hand and kissing the top of yours.
“I told you we’d pay you back right...didn’t I Aberama?” He asked playfully, eyeing Aberama as he stood next to her.
“Indeed, thank you for everything, Mr. Shelby.” He said before excusing himself.
Esmeralda came over shortly after, making the interaction less awkward.
“Thank you so much Mr. Shelby. The dress, the lights, everything’s beautiful!” She said winking at Y/N.
“Wait....” Y/N said, as she looked at Tommy with a genuine smile, surprised he’d help them with something like this.
“I should be thanking you as well Mr. Shelby, I don’t see why you went to the trouble though. That was very thoughtful.” She said.
“Your husband and father in law have helped me a lot recently with the business as you know, and I figured I’d give our best fighter something as a bit of a thank you. Don’t worry about paying anything back though love, I insist you keep the dress, for memories sake.” He said.
Y/N grinned as she looked up at Bonnie who held her hand in his. As the night drug on, you two departed from the Shelby’s and went to the source of the music, nervously stepping out with him to dance.
“Oh I’m so nervous...what if I fall?” Y/N said, clutching onto his hand as he spun her around. His sisters were near her dancing like they’d taught her.
“I’ll catch you.” He said before picking up the pace with the beat, everyone cheering as they both danced near the bonfire. Y/N remembered to transition to the other people and so she went to Esmeralda who giggled as they danced around, linking arms with each other and then eventually made her way back to Bonnie.
“Bon...?” She said, smiling up at him.
He grinned at her, her eyes sparkling as the sun set around them.
“Yeah?”
“I...I mean-we love you. Always will...” She said as she caressed his cheek, the music slowed down as their movements came to a stop.
“I love you both too, more than all the stars in the sky.” He said.
The small crowd cheered as they shared a kiss, ending the dance as the light died down around them, surrounded only by family and friends and the sparkling night sky above.
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Tag List:
(If you’d like to be added/removed from the Bonnie Gold tag list just shoot me an ask!) :)
@bonniesgoldengirl, @peakyrogers, @ta-ka-shi-ma
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beetledrink · 5 years
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im sure youve probably been asked something to this effect before but what would you say are your top five horror movies? (and why you favor them if you feel like elaborating!)
ok ok ok i have bad memory idiot disease so these are just off the top of my head and i will probably be able to think of different ones after like a day
Noroi: The Curse: if you dont mind subtitles (or can speak japanese) this movie rules and every time ive rewatched it its been on youtube in full lmao. its hard to explain but the vibes of this movie just make me sick in the way all good horror does, there are some lingering still shots that give me psychic damage, AND its not bloody or gory almost at all iirc, just EXTREMELY unnerving
The Taking of Deborah Logan: i wouldve listed this one no matter what but now im super obligated to because one of the writers followed me on twitter for some reason so i have to show my support... ANYHOW this one is a GREAT somewhat recent mockumentary and is a LITTLE bloody and extremely visually disturbing in parts but an overall fantastic unpredictable story
The Ritual: i think this ones a netflix original and i only watched it once when it was new so my memory is a little hazy but i adorrrred the monster design and atmosphere and i had the soundtrack in my library for a while before i realized it stressed me out too much, but still amazing soundscaping
The Blair Witch Project: the classic! im sure theres very few people i need to tell about this one but just in case: found footage mockumentary, almost no on-screen blood and gore but a couple descriptions of disturbing stuff, almost all of the horror is that good good shit you never actually see but are always anticipating, definitely shaped my taste in horror as a kid lol
Event Horizon: the two things ive always been the most scared of are space and hell and this is a movie about space hell, gory as fuck and extremely disturbing and definitely left a mark on me at an early age
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purplesurveys · 4 years
Text
883
1. What kind of textures do you enjoy most in your food? Crunchy, crispy, soft, hard, grainy, slimy, etc? I love chewing on any meal that involves rice. Born and raised with it, can’t feel full without it. I’ll give a special mention to slimy too, because I love seafood.
2. Do you keep up any seasonal decorations outside of their season? No. My mom removes our Christmas decor by late January, which is when Christmas season ends here. We don’t decorate for other holidays.
3. Can you remember the most awkward situation you've ever been in? What happened? Ugh god. Any time I’m left alone with Gab’s dad is bound to be awkward because he’s very quiet and stoic and I tend to be a vibrant, cheery people-pleaser and nothing I do will muster more than two words out of him...but our most awkward moment has to be when I was at their place and he had to leave to run some errands. I stood up and walked over to give him a hug, but for some reason the floor was slippery and I started to do the world’s clumsiest and longest stumble. As an instinct, I held on to his arm and shirt so that I wouldn’t fall flat on my face. It was terrible and nothing I could’ve done or said would’ve saved that situation. EUGH I’m wincing right now lmao
4. Can you remember the most scary situation you've ever been in? What happened? [trigger warning] Would have to be the time when my grandfather got too drunk off his ass that he physically assaulted one of my cousins, then a toddler. My aunt (cousin’s mom) is a little on the delicate and petite side and couldn’t do anything to confront my grandpa, who went on his rage for like 10, 15 minutes. Certainly felt like forever. Nothing has traumatized me more and that’s saying a lot, considering it’s been 13 years and I’ve been through tons of shitty situations.
5. Do you do anything unusual to help you concentrate? It’s not very weird but I did install an extension on my browser that would let me list certain sites (usually social media) I’d want blocked whenever I have work. I suppose not everyone has that kind of program so it kinda counts as unusual.
6. Do you ever wonder what your parents were like as children/teenagers? With my dad, yes. My mom tells me enough stories. I know her family hit a rough patch when she was a teenager and they had to sell a bunch of their stuff, including a grand piano. She went from living a comfortable life to having to skip meals in college because she only had enough money for her daily commute.
7. Do you think suicide is ever "okay?" Groan, this is so triggering. I’m not elaborating on this, soz.
8. Would you rather a close family member/close friend/significant other die of suicide or murder? Why is this? “>> I think having to deal with a murder investigation would be terribly messy and intrusive, and would add more trauma on top of what I’m already dealing with.” < All of this. You don’t always get closure with murders, too. And I would hate that.
9. In your opinion, what is the worst thing someone could ever do? Raping an infant is definitely up there for me.
10. In your opinion, what is the best thing someone could ever do? Be a positive change or impact in someone’s life. Idk, I’m easy to please.
11. Do you think about any fellow xangans outside of xanga? I’ll change the context of this question to Tumblr so I can answer it. And yes I do, sometimes. Not in a creepy way or anything; it usually happens when I encounter something in real life that I know another survey-taker likes.
12. What military installation is the closest to you? Fort Bonifacio.
13. Do you still open your windows during winter? We don’t get winter but yeah, December is the best time to leave the windows open throughout the night. It’s also a great time to be able to save on electricity haha
14. How cold is too cold? How hot is too hot? I’ve lived in a tropical country all my life so I’m a big-ass wimp when it comes to the cold, even though I love it more. I start shivering at around 23ºC. Too hot is anything reaching the 40s.
15. Would you rather lose both legs or both arms? Why? Legs. I use my hands a lot more, so it would be slightly more difficult if I suddenly had to move about without them.
16. If you committed a crime that landed you in prison for the rest of your life, but were given the option to receive the death sentence instead, which would you choose? Why? Death. I get to have the infamous ~last meal~. Lol in all seriousness though, I’d pick it because it would be a quick release for me, I guess. It’s a big reason why I’m not a fan of death penalty...it’s too easy an escape for criminals who deserve a lot worse.
17. Is there any specific album you can listen to in its entirety and enjoy every single song? After Laughter - Paramore
18. Would you rather be a famous movie star, television star, or musician? I don’t have talents that would make me succeed in any of these fields...I guess it’d be fun to be a movie star though.
19. If you are not religious, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that were and said grace before eating? How was this for you? If you are religious and say grace before dinner, have you ever eaten dinner with a group of people that weren't and didn't say grace before eating? How was this for you? Yes. I’m from a Catholic family, so we pray before every meal. I do a sign of the cross but barely, just so my mom sees I move my hands when we start the prayer; but I haven’t recited grace since I told myself I was going to be atheist.
20. Do you think an evil Santa or an evil Easter Bunny would make a better villain in a horror movie? I’d go with Evil Santa mostly because I have no attachment to the Easter Bunny whatsoever, and because it’d be hilarious to see a man with reindeer be mean.
21. Did you ever think any fictional story-book character was creepy as a child? Do you still think any of them are creepy? Yes. That girl who wears a ribbon around her neck still gives me the fucking creeps.
22. Would you rather wear nothing but white or nothing but black? Is there any color you'd actually want to wear head-to-toe? Black. I’ve done that many times, so it wouldn’t feel weird.
23. What physical/mental health problems run in your family? Do you have any of the same problems? I’m almost certain there are underlying issues on my mom’s side but seeing as none of us have ever gotten ourselves checked (and most of them don’t believe in mental health problems anyway) I doubt I’ll ever find out what exactly’s wrong.
24. What is your mental and physical health like right now? They are both doing surprisingly well considering how long I’ve had to stay home and how much everything has turned upside down. I’ve only had two bad breakdown in four months and I’ve since recovered from that nasty fever I got, so I can’t complain.
25. If you found a suitcase (with no information about the owner) with a million dollars inside of it , would you turn it into the police or keep it? Be honest. ;] “>> See, a million dollars is an exorbitant sum. There is no way I could just casually make off with a missing million and not suffer repercussions. It's just too much goddamn money, and in this particular scenario, it's highly likely that it's a trap of some sort (whether set for me, or set for someone else and my dumb ass just happened to stumble across it). I'm not dumb enough to try it.
Neither would I necessarily want to turn it in, because that might cause me to get involved in something I didn't want or need to be involved in. The most logical course of action for me would be to leave it the fuck alone.” < Yeup.
26. Would you rather gaze at the stars or clouds? Stars. The fact that they’re so much farther away makes them more fascinating to me.
27. Are they any foods you used to enjoy but no longer like? Are there any foods you used to dislike but now enjoy? There’s a certain brand of frozen sisig that I used to looooove and would have multiple servings of every time I had it. But I had it one too many times and now I can’t even stand the smell of it. On the other hand, I hated chicken curry as a kid, but I can’t get enough of it now.
28. Do you feel much older or younger than you are? Why? Neither. I just feel 22.
29. Did you get along with kids that were older or younger than you? I mostly got along with kids of the same age. I found younger kids too rowdy and being around older kids always felt intimidating.
30. Do you know any magic tricks? Nopes.
31. How much would life suck for you if you had a wheat allergy? A lot.
32. Are you able to watch gory scenes in movies? Why or why not? For sure. I always want to see how far FX artists can go; and if used correctly, gory scenes can be super integral to the movie. Midsommar is a really good example.
33. Do you constantly check the time? Does time seem to move quickly or slowly for you? Not anymore. I used to check it a lot while I was still in school. Sigh, I miss that life so much. Anyway, time definitely felt slower during the first few weeks of the lockdown, but now that I’m used to it days just fly by. I can hardly believe we’re nearly in the middle of July. So much of this year has been wasted. It’s miserable.
34. Would you rather live in a nice house in a bad location, or a less-than-nice house in a great location? I’m taking the great location. I don’t know if I can last living in a shady area, no matter how beautiful my house is.
35. Have you ever been a witness to a horrible crime? What happened? Domestic violence is the worst thing I can think of. I enumerated one of them in one of the earlier questions, but I witnessed several other cases as a kid.
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tokumusume · 4 years
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tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:
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There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~
Best Movies:
1.      Parasite
Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.
2.      The Witch Part 1 The Subversion
This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.
3.      Death Trance
Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights
4.      Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken
The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.
5.      Kingdom
While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.
6.      Bravestorm
A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.
7.      Twelve Suicidal Children
What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.
8.      Gakkou Gurashi
Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.
9.      Forest of Love
I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.
10.  The Host
After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.
11.  The Hungry Lion
A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.
12.  Cromartie High
A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.
Honorable Mentions:
1.      River’s Edge
Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.
2.      The Disastrous Life of Saiki K
Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.
3.      Ano ko no, Toriko
Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?
4.      Monstrum
It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.
5.      Weirdo Go
I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.
6.      Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi
Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.
7.      Tomodachi Game: The Final
The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.
8.     The Living Dead
Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.
9.      Backstreet Girls
Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.
Best Dramas:
1.      The Untamed
Do I need to say more?
2.      The Tale of Nokdu
This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.
3.      The Naked Director
Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.
4.      Channel wa Sonomama!
I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.
5.      SCAMS
Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.
Worst Movies and Dramas:
1.      The cat in their arms
The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.
2.      Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun
A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?
3.      Samurai Marathon
Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.
4.      Lady Vengeance
While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.
5.      Hot Gimmick
This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.
6.      The Divine Fury
While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…
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borkingbarnes · 4 years
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50 questions!
Thank you for the tag @buckyland! You are literally the softest angel and I have mega amounts of love for you. 💗💗
Putting a Keep Reading bar bc its a lil long aha 
1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?  Black and red. Though I can't really brush my hair bc brushed out wavy/curly hair = hella frizz :/ 
2. Name a food you never ever eat.  Olives, bell peppers, Brussel sprouts. 
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too cold. Always too cold, considering I live in a barren wasteland. 
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?  jamming out in the shower lol 
5. What is your favourite candy bar?  Hershey’s cookies and cream 😍
6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game?  I think a professional hockey game when I was in elementary?? 
7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “what the fuck is this shit?” (directed at my final exam review) 
8. What is your favourite ice cream?  Vanilla or oreo! 
9. What was the last thing you had to drink?  Cofy. 💜
10. Do you like your wallet?  Yes!! It was a gift from Christmas! 
11. What was the last thing you ate?  a singular sunflower seed that was on my desk lol
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?  No, I’m not a huge fan of buying clothes if I can't try it on first. However... this hoodie from UO is speaking to me but its so. frickin. expensive.  
13. The last sporting event you watched?  I think a men’s semi-finals volleyball match against UBC that hosted at my uni years ago? I had a huge crush on our setter at the time LOL 
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?  butter or caramel.
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?  A text to my bf ranting about how the government will only allow me to get 1 month of BC at a time (before you could get 3-6 months worth at a time), which is fucked bc it just means more trips out?? 
16. Ever go camping?  Yes!! Hoping to go this summer if everything clears up by then.
17. Do you take vitamins?  Occasionally, if I open the cupboard and see it. But only the fruity chewable ones bc they're yummy lol 
18. Do you go to church every Sunday?  No. But my one of my friends does and he was supposed to send in a video of him playing some song for his church’s Easter service bc he’s got a degree in music and just overall v good at his instrument. His brother streaked through in the background of said video. He still sent it in. The church played it for the service. akljsldkj 
19. Do you have a tan?  No, she long faded :(
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?  yes. 100% yes. gimme some of that good good sweet and sour pork ANY day. 
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?  I don't drink soda lol 
22. What color socks do you usually wear?  Those multicoloured Puma ones which everyone has that you can get in a bundle from Costco are all I wear 😂
23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?  I usually go like 5 km/h above?
24. What terrifies you?  Failure, not getting anywhere in life, being trapped, losing my mom and grandparents, got reaching my goals. 
25. Look to your left, what do you see?  The disarray that is my unmade bed 
26. What chore do you hate most?  Dishes. 
27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?  lol its terrible but they could literally be saying anything but my brain will immediately go “DEOWN UNDAHH” 
28. What’s your favorite soda?  I don't like soda, but will on a rare occasion take a sip of coke or sprite if my bf is drinking it. 
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive?  Drive-thru 100%. I will avoid humans as much as possible lol that and im too lazy to get out of the car most of the time 😅
30. What is your favourite number?  8, 38! 
31. Who’s the last person you talked to?  Like face to face? I guess me mum? 
32. Favourite cut of beef?  T-bone 😍
33. Last song you listened to?  Atlas - Luke Christopher (very fitting for the current times if you ask me, and just overall one of my all time favs.) 
34. Last book you read?  The mind-numbing bullshit that is my textbook. 
35. Favourite day of the week?  Saturdaze
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?  No. I have 1 braincell, and she is not able to complete such an extensive task. 
37. How do you like your coffee?  A good old double double if hot, but I quite enjoy a vanilla iced cofy.
38. Favourite pair of shoes?  My black Nike running shoes in general, my black Timberlands in winter, and my black suede Chelsea boots for a more dressy look! (I enjoy wearing the colour black if you couldn't tell😂)
39. The time you normally get up?  If I don't have any obligations: 10:30-11:30 😅
40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Give me ALL the sunsets. 
41. How many blankets on your bed?  3. I am a cold, cold child. 
42. Describe your kitchen plates.  White, square ones? 
43. Describe your kitchen at the moment?  Littered with papers and writing utensils because my brother does his homework at the dinner table
44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?  Caesars with Walter’s caesar mix 😍😍 Daiquiris are also yum! AND PINA COLADAS. 
45. Do you play cards? I play uno almost everyday on my phone LOL (hit me up if you wanna play together!!)
46. What colour is your car?  Gray 
47. Can you change a tire?  I don’t think so? Though I know the basics? 
48. Your favourite state? Tranquil. At peace. Basically how I feel when I’m floating on my back in water with the sun on my face.  If its US states then I haven't been too too many, but I absolutely adored Florida because of DisneyWorld. I also have some really good memories in Illinois 
49. Favourite job you’ve had?  I still have this job but a vet assistant! 
50. How did you get your biggest scar?  lol. ha im embarrassed. buckle up and prepare for story time. it’s kinda gory(?) so don't read if you don't like that stuff!! 
Box jumps in high school (we had a proper actual gym with weights and machines and stuff). I took my glasses off (idk why I decided to workout in glasses instead of contacts?) bc they kept sliding down every time I jumped. Mind you my prescription is like -5.50 and I have astigmatism so my depth perception is like non-existent without some sort of corrective lenses. But my half blind, non depth perceiving ass was like eh how bad can it be? Well it was VERY bad!! I completely misjudged how high I needed to jump (the box was on the highest side) and basically slammed my shin against the edge of the box (its wooden and very solid!!) and the weight of the rest of my body plus gravity caused my shin to dig and scrape against the edge of the box v deep on the way down. Idk if it was bone or what but there was definitely something flat and whitish in the deepest part?? Nothing broken luckily, but it hurt like a bitch. Found a first aid kit and bandaged myself up and limped around the whole day. Years later, there's still a longish scar and it’s indented along it. 
I also have a fading but quite large scar from road burn when my friend decided it would be funny to push me super fast just out of the blue while I was sitting on a skateboard and not stop me when I started teetering. I was wearing shorts and basically scraped my thigh and part of my butt against concrete. It was painful as fuck and didnt heal for a long time bc it was such a large surface area. I was P I S S E D. 
lol thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far! Tagging some beautiful peeps if y'all want: @evanstar @fightmewiatch @jalapenobarnes @buckthegrump @tropicalcap @sgtjbuccky 
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flyingcookierambles · 4 years
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so i finished reading the northern caves
hey its a book ramble! after uuhhhhhh.. a year. anyways the northern caves! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/3659997/chapters/8088522)
i binged it in a whole day. and i have feelings. i think?
so ppl hyped it as a lovecraft-ish/otherworldly horror story and i think i got a bit sucked into that and let down a bit because to me the horror story wasn’t the implied dark magic connections the author had with uh. the Mundum. it was the unreliable narration and betrayal of friends. spoilers below!
so, if you’ve read the northern caves, you know what the Mundum is. it was just kinda introduced as some mystical thing in the universe that the author believed in. whether or not it was real was kinda left open ended i think.
if you for some reason haven’t read the northern caves (which will just be either the caves or tnc for typing speed’s sake), it’s about a group of online friends in a 2004 internet forum dedicated to a children’s book series called Chesscourt by Leonard Selby. the author died before he could publish his final book, The Northern Caves. thankfully, one of the ppl in the forums, metamarsh, is actually distantly related to the author, and in the event of leonard selby’s death and then marsh’s aunt’s death (i think she was selby’s sister or something), marsh’s family got all the belongings of leonard selby. all his journals, notes, and unpublished works left behind. TNC was one of them. marsh (or his aunt or some other relative) scanned the pages and released it online ig sometime before the story. and so the events of Spelunk 04! starts, in which the friend group of this forum plans an irl meet up at marsh’s house so they can go over the author’s belongings and try to make sense of tnc. tnc is, to put simply, a mess. there’s lucid parts and non-lucid parts, by which i mean that there’s entire pages of nonsense and also it’s mentioned that there are 3 entire pages that are just the letter “a.” this can easily be dismissed as the writings of a senile old man, until the revelation of the Mundum (mentioned above) comes up. 
then things so super wrong. 
so, the entire story is a “report” by a man on the forums named Paul. his handle is GlassWave. he is a person who went to Spelunk 04! and is part of the reason why the meeting went so wrong. around the part where the journals abt the Mundum come up, he totally gets into it. the narration around this part gets uh. kinda creepy. it also definitely doesnt help that there were drugs involved - adderall.
so uh. basically. paul and another guy, Arron/Errent Knight, get the Mundum. they dont understand why their friends dont understand it. the solution according to paul? put adderall into the coffee and stay up for 60 hours straight reading tnc in a group circle.
yeahhhhh.
so i personally wasnt super scared abt the entire lovecraft-ish/other worldly implications of mundum being real or not. it was the paul’s state of mind when he spiked the coffee with drugs. it was the entire betrayal thing. 
i personally haven’t really had the entire internet friends experience bc im p shy irl and online. i dont usually go talk to strangers in chatrooms/discord or anything. also stranger danger lol.
but i hear a bunch of stories abt that kind of stuff, the early 2000′s internet experience before ppl had more awareness of internet stranger danger. also i’ve been watching and reading abt a lot of internet drama thru commentary channels i watch nowadays (therightopinion is p good), and uh the whole parasocial relationship thing (so ive seen it be described as) is on my mind a lot now. since we view ppl as relatable and feel like we know them. now, of course, there’s a difference in the personal experience one can have between a youtuber or internet celeb and a person on an interactive forum/social media platform. i would think that more interactive platforms like forums or discourd would feel more personal to some than a celebrity but still. 
the entire narration of paul’s during the spiking the coffee scene was so rational-seeming to him. and then the betrayal that his friends, the ones at Spelunk 04! and online felt hit me. like, i’ve never personally experienced that kind of betrayal since i dont have internet/stranger friends, but still i think it’s really relevant now. on the 26th chapter (2nd to last), the forum comments of JimWind and Sally’s Lil Sis hit especially hard. 
JimWind:
Wow. Wowwowow. I just finished reading the whole thing through the latest bit GW's posted. I had heard things about Spelunk 04 having something to do with restaurant workers dying, but I just figured that was a baseless rumor because it seemed so hard to understand how that could have happened. But what really shocks me here isn't even that, it's the fact that GlassWave dosed his/our friends with hard drugs. (Adderall is just prescription amphetamine, AKA speed! WTF!!!) "GlassHole" indeed! TBH it really makes me uncomfortable with GW and getting this whole story from him. Of course when I first read this
“maybe not even the other forum members, not even the best among them, not even Jim, say”
I was flattered, especially cause GW's always seemed like one of the sharpest and nicest posters around these parts (until now!!). But now it kinda makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want this guy to think I'm one of the "best" Cafe people. And I'm holding back judgment on all this Spelunk nonsense until I hear about it from someone WHO ISN'T GLASSWAVE. (Plus, this is stupid, but there's something that makes it even worse about the fact that the diner has my name :P) No matter how you slice it, it's a sad day for the Cafe. D:
Sally:
Yeah me too JimWind. I'm literally crying rn. First Spelunk went wrong, then we have to wait to hear about what happened, then we finally get the report but it's from this jerk! I'm really sad bc this forum has meant a lot to me over the last year (its been a really tough year for me) and now I'm worried that everyone here might be some sort of drug-pushing creep :( :( :(
before this, everyone felt connected in some way w/ chesscourt and safe. and paul/glasswave was a decent person in the community! he talked to other ppl. ppl trusted him enough to invite him to this thing and meet up irl. and then he just. spikes coffee with adderall.
idk, maybe its just me since i was too young to be on fandom spaces in 2004 and be on chatrooms and stuff, but i feel like when the internet first came out everyone felt safe on it to some degree and the internet and real life were seperate spaces. now, esp with social media like facebook, real life and the internet are super connected. 
the fact that paul caused harm to his friends by spiking their drinks without consent is horrible. but like i feel like to ppl from 2004 who might not have experienced this kind of closely tied internet/real life drama before and also might not have the same sense of internet stranger danger that ppl have today, the idea of a person from the internet harming you in real life could be terrifying. today, i think that horror stories of ppl meeting online and then things going wrong is so common and in the news that we don’t bat an eye to it. but i guess maybe to 2004 ppl, this is like the ultimate nightmare.
when i finished the book, i felt a bit let down by the ending and stuff. it felt a bit anti-climatic. but after thinking about this from (what i think is) a 2004 person’s perspective, this is p awful. and the whole unreliable narration thing was very good.
i thought of midsommar a bit when i was thinking abt the ending. like, sure a bunch of horrible gory stuff happened and ppl died. but the real horror sets in afterwards when you realize that the movie is abt a vulnerable lonely woman in a neglectful relationship being indoctrinated into a cult thru drugs, isolation, and love bombing, and it was kinda shown as a “good thing” bc the protag finally found a place she belonged. when really, she was being further trapped in life, this time in a cult.
idk, but i guess that’s my ramble on the northern caves.
tl;dr - i read an original story from AO3 that was kinda hyped up for a lovecraft-ish horror, but i ended up interpreting the horror aspect differently and didn’t really get the mundum/lovecraft-ish part i think?
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broadwait · 6 years
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spooky scary newsies hc’s
This is just hc’s about what kinds of horror movies the newsies like/dislike lol
jack: likes things with a really big twist at the end, likes being surprised, lowkey kinda loves jump scares, loves suspense, doesn’t mind gore but doesn’t like a lot of it at once. really liked the belko experiment, the first saw movie, that kind of stuff
davey: psychological thrillers, babadook, would you rather, the circle, get out, watches stephen king but also has read every stephen king novel that exists. knows a lot of horror movie trivia
crutchie: he’s not super big into modern horror but he looooovvveess that old shit, like cheesy horror and stuff. house on haunted hill? he can quote every line. invasion of the body snatchers? he’s seen it more times than he can count. the twilight zone original series? he owns that shit on box set. he’s very into like 50s-60s kind of stuff bc it’s not intense and can be very silly but sometimes leaves you incredibly unsettled
race: is actually surprisingly squeamish around gore but is 100% chill with supernatural/paranormal horror. he closes his eyes when people get like cut open and stuff but can watch demons and ghosts with absolutely no problem. went through a phase where all he could talk about was IT (2017)
spot: scared af of horror movies, will start to watch but peace’s out as soon as anything spooky happens. hates suspense. HATES. DOLLS. (he was scared by the episode of the twilight zone “the living doll” when he was younger and hasn’t trusted a doll since. can’t even watch coraline) someone somehow got him to see annabelle creation in theaters and he literally was shaking so hard he couldn’t walk out bc his legs would not support him
finch: he’s allllllll about that 70s-80s horror. nightmare on elm street, the shining, jaws, night of the living dead, halloween, all that kind of stuff. the special effects aren’t the best and sometimes it’s cheesy but he still loves it
elmer: watches horror movies when other people put them on but doesn’t seek them out, hates jump scares, likes comedic horror/horror parodies because it’s breaks the tension and makes things less genuinely scary, stuff like tucker and dale vs evil, final destination bc it’s so ridiculous, scary movie, is the most likely to put on buzzfeed unsolved
buttons: hates horror movies but tries to pretend they don’t bother him. lowkey spends the whole movie with his eyes closed and/or with his head buried in someone’s chest. he’s jumpy and gets paranoid easily so he prefers not to watch them
albert: has seen every saw movie, watches them religiously, thinks the first saw was the pinnacle of all horror ever as a genre. gets really annoyed when people are misinformed ab the movies like “the puppet’s name wasn’t jigsaw his name was BILLY, jigsaw was the guy who made the TRAPS, get it RIGHT”
specs: okay literally “i hope its really bloody with a nice clear picture,” this guy loves GORE, watches anything and everything gross and bloody, even if there’s no real plot beyond that. hostel, american guinea pig, any of the saw movies, will watch movies that are banned in america/a lot of other countries bc he heard they had good special effects
tommy boy: likes found footage/stalking horror, lowkey likes home invasion/kidnapping movies. him and specs could eat a whole meal while watching something super gory and not bat an eye.
jojo: doesn’t like horror very much but will watch it occasionally, HATES DEMONS AND GHOSTS AND SHIT, very superstitious, will not FUCK with a ouija board, someone brought one as a joke when they were all hanging out and he deadass stood up and left, got halfway down the hall before someone ran to get him
romeo: american horror story all the way. went through a donnie darko phase, has 4 different theories on what the movie was actually ab bc it’s kinda hard to understand
katherine: loves horror musicals, like sweeney todd, little shop, american psycho the musical, they’re all her shit. watched all of stranger things in one sitting
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i-can-be-king-again · 6 years
Note
1-10
1. Do you usually remember your dreams?
I usually remember them because I like to write them down on my dream journal app.  It’s fun to do lol
2. Talk about one of your favourite dreams   
I had powers like Saitama from One Punch Man where I had superhuman strength and was able to jump really high at long distances.
I lived in a big house that looked like 2 boxes stacked on top of each other with castle spires on top.  My room was on the 2nd floor with a small balcony that overlooked the city I lived in.  When I jumped to the fourth floor, I saw a child sized robot tinkering with something in a room that had blue and yellow star wallpaper.  The robot saw me and thought I was an intruder and was going to try to catch me, but I quickly jumped to the next floor.  I was trying to use my powers to jump to each floor’s balcony so I could get to the top of the building, but I knew i haven’t used then in a long time so I couldn’t jump very high.
As I got to the top of my house, I fully regained my powers and jumped hundreds of feet into the air and landed on a cathedral looking building that was a couple blocks away.
3. Talk about one of your least favourite dreams
I was in a music class for school, for some reason I knew I missed a lot of class sessions and I was worried about my grade.  I was then driving on a super tall freeway over a body of water to get home and suddenly the cars stop and a massive wave of water rises up on the right side of the road and crashes down on the buildings and I look to the left side where it looks like mountains in from of my house and giant waves of water are flowing down them.  More giant waves of water crash through the freeway in from and behind me so I get out of my car and have 5 other people follow me to the side of the freeway that’s above the body of water so we can all jump off of it.  This lady had a dog leash looking rope and was helping a father and his daughter lower them down so the fall wouldn’t be so high.  They unhook themselves and fall into the water.  I stare at the water, trying to find a way to fall into the water without injuring myself and then i woke up.
4. What kind of dreams do you prefer to see?
I like to have dreams that involve action (me fighting ppl or having superpowers), romance, or fun stuff.  I also like those deja vu type dreams, which happened a lot during my late high school and early college days lol
5. What kind of dreams do you prefer not to see?
Gory or scary stuff, it makes me depressed lol
6. Are you a lucid dreamer?
I only lucid dreamt a couple times in my life, so I don’t think so ^_^;
7. Do you daydream?
All day every day lol
8. Do you have any reoccurring characters, locations or other things in your dreams and/or daydreams?
I do have repeating dreams in terms of the plot, but I don’t remember what they were lol.  I do also have reoccurring daydreams but those are for my head only lol
9. How many hours you usually sleep? Is that enough for you?
I used to get 8-8.5 hours of sleep, but lately I’ve been getting 6-7.5... I’m dying lol
10. Do you prefer talking about your own dreams or listening the dreams of others?
I like to do both, hearing about other people’s dreams are really interesting too
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