#i live for the drama and i love it when i can include music omg

[dgtn]

Hey all! So I wanted to take a few to introduce myself. Another blogger did this a few days back and I was just like omg I need to do that too!

So my name is Diane and I am at midlife now in terms of age. I have been married for over 20 years and have 2 amazing kids, a young man and a daughter.

We live in Tennessee. I love so many different genres of music - my playlist has everything from BTS to Carrie Underwood, Troye Sivan, Coldplay, Bon Jovi, Metallica, Aretha Franklin…you name it…it’s probably on my list!

Outside of BTS and Jikook I love spending time with my family, health, fitness, and making jewelry, and yes that includes BTS themed jewelry of course 😏

My favorite shows to watch are crime dramas and anything sci fi. I’m a huge Star Wars fan (I still remember going to see A New Hope when it came out!)

I have 5 fur babies- 4 dogs and a cat. We also have a gecko.

I am a cancer survivor, coming up on 8 years now. I've also had brain surgery - crazy crazy!

So now that that’s out of the way….let’s talk BTS.

I’ve always heard the saying: you don’t find BTS, BTS finds you when you need them. This is true for me too (more on that later ).

I discovered BTS when I heard Butter for the first time back in 2021. I thought it was a catchy song and wanted to know more about the band behind the song. And so it began. I looked up BTS on the internet and the first member I came across? Jimin of course. My first thoughts were my god he is gorgeous. And his voice - are you kidding me! I’ve been around a long time and I have never heard a voice like that! So of course I needed to know more. Next came Jungkook. Uh….wow! That man is beautiful too! And his voice! I mean come on!!!! I had never heard of kpop before BTS so I had no idea about the world of kpop or any of its inner workings.

So into the world of BTS I dove. I went on line and started watching their music videos and started listening to more of their music and really really liking it. I slowly discovered the world of BTS online; Bangtan Bombs, In The Soop, Lives, Run Episodes, etc. Of course, watching all of these...I started to wonder, what's up with Jimin and Jungkook? Definitely caught a different vibe from them. So.....started watching jikook videos. Then, I discovered GCFT - and that sealed the deal for me. No looking back from that point. I remember the first time I watched it (yup, like yourself Ive watched it way more than once!!!) I was blown away and my reaction was "these 2 are in love with each other".

I absolutely love love love Jimin and Jungkook (as I’m sure you can tell from my blog!). I love them as individuals and I love them as a couple. They have something SO very special together and I just get so much joy out of seeing their relationship now and how it has grown over the years. They went from seriously crushing on each other in the early days of BTS to being in a long term fully committed monogomous relationship. I do believe that they are in this for life and have committed to each other for life. What that exactly looks like I'm not sure as they are still "In the Closet". My hope for them is that one day they will be able to show us their love for each freely and openly.

So getting back to BTS and how they found me when I needed them. I am officially mid life, in my 50's. I have always been a stay at home mom. My son is high functioning autistic. Throughout his schooling we really struggled with finding the right fit for him academically. When we moved to TN we eventually decided to home school him which became a huge priority of mine. Homeschooling was not easy. When he graduated high school it was such an accomplishment. I will admit that it also left me very emotionally drained. Being a mom in general is really hard (best job in the world!!!). We always put our children first before everything else; it's just what we do.

As my children have grown and continued to become more independent I actually started thinking about what I want to do for me. It's a foreign concept because as a mom I've never really thought that way. That was right about the time I discovered BTS (see where I'm going with this?). Their message of love yourself, take care of yourself, was something that really resonated with me. I know it might sound crazy but that "glow up" that some people have experienced through BTS happened to me too. I have found the time to "love myself" as BTS says. I am really putting myself first for the first time in my life. I am still here for my family 100% but I am also finding the time to take care of myself :) I am on that journey to find balance in my life and BTS has most definitely played a big role in that!

I absolutely love BTS as a band and as individuals. I have really enjoyed getting to know them and I look forward to sharing my love of BTS and jikook with all y'all for years to come :) I have met some wonderful people through Tumblr; some of whom I have become very close to and consider dear friends; and I feel so grateful and blessed to have these peeps in my life. I am really excited to see what the future holds for these 7 incredibly talented young men who came into our lives.

One thing for sure, The Best is Yet To Come.

Xoxo 😘

#me as a blogger

[xoxomyseriesxoxo]

Hello!

Sorry to bother you, but you seem to be one of the more informed Bleach fans.

So the thing is, since Bleach started airing its new anime, my Twitter feed has over-filled with it (apparently liking any manga/anime equals liking Bleach...) and the waves of IH fans, who seem to enjoy it exclusively through bashing IR. I know my first mistake is having Twitter, but the author of the absolutely fantastic manga I'm into is posting extra material there, so I'm ready to bear the consequences XD

Tbh, I've never finished reading Bleach. I think I made it to Fullbringer arc, but at that point, I've finally realized that I can just stop reading something that doesn't bring me enjoyment and for a while at that.

I did ship IR back then (for obvious reasons), but I have long since moved past Bleach to better pastures, though I still love the aesthetic. (And Rukia, I probably would've finished Bleach if it was at least 30% more Rukia, no Ichigo necessary XD)

But recently, I've encountered the post that discussed how Kubo himself didn't like the old anime. I remember fandom drama being large enough that it affected him, though I know no specifics as I've always inhabited the peripheral areas of the fandom.

So my question is, is there like a big meta post, following the evolution of Kubo's relationship with his work or just some large meta posts analyzing the events of those times? I definitely don't want to dive deep back into the fandom, but I've always enjoyed reading those large meta analyses.

Again, only if that won't be too bothersome for you, you just have a lot of interesting posts yourself, so I thought you may know something like this or point me in the right direction.

Have a good day!

Hi! To be honest, I kind of feel like a dinosaur in the fandom now... I've started reading it as a kid and joined the fandom when I was in middle school and now I'm in college with a part job but to sum it up, I've seen most of the drama of the fandom back then.

The thing is that the dudebros on Twitter who act like they know everything about B/each and what was going on in the fandom back then fail to realize the fandom was made of an overwhelming majority of IR shippers (and for good reasons) or just neutrals (who didn't really ship anything in particular) but understood IR's appeal.

But lmao, not the dudebros and these stans making up things to feed their own lies AGAIN when no, K/ubo didn’t have issues with the old anime, it was rather the “fan” who asked the question who was bitter about it from the way they asked their question. He supervied it and he even gave positive feedback, including this tweet about ep.342 (which features filler stuff made by the studio) where he said the episode was really pretty (he had also reacted to IR trending worldwide on Twitter back then while the anime episode aired).

K/ubo also said he was very involved in the anime in an interview in 2006, including the filler arcs for example with the character designs of the zanpakutos later on in the anime etc.

K/ubo also did say concerning that the H/ellverse and D/iamond D/ust R/ebellion movies aren’t canon (which makes sense, especially for H/ellverse after that recent Hell oneshot) but rather parallels to the canon story while Fade To Black IS canon (and the movie was promoted as “a movie you should go watch with your S/O" lol) so it tells you how invested he was in the old animated series. There is a whole thread on Twitter showing you K/ubo appreciated the anime, musical and live action adaptations and how IR were portrayed there if you want to check it.

Also, the “omg IR shippers are bullies and bad people!!!!” narrative which includes these accusations about IR shippers making K/ubo run off Twitter is FALSE (it happened 6-7 years ago), he deleted his account because a p*rnstar was impersonating as him there. SJ and him took legal action and that led to him deleting his account (he made a new account a while after), so it was not due to IR shippers and fandom drama as those people claim.

Apart from that, the manga’s cancellation official announcement from SJ was sudden which explains how rushed the ending was (well, at least the part where it doesn’t answer to many questions aka if U/rahara, G/rimmjow, N/el, Y/oruichi, I/sshin, R/yuuken were alive and some of the plot holes) but the fact it was that bad was K/ubo being petty and doing that out of spite because SJ cancelled the manga. I don’t know if you can say it’s a meta about his “relationship with his work” exactly but rather how his writing went downhill because he lost the plot of his own story: you can read this pretty interesting post (this blog has pretty interesting B/each analysis posts, including this one about the ending itself). B/each’s sales started to dip at one point but it got really bad at L/ost A/gent arc and and it got worse and worse after that because he spent way too long on unimportant plots and fights (the way we all way too many chapters with that fight of his favorite character against a giant hand...) while dropping important subplots/character arcs that had pontential such as K/arin becoming a s/hinigami (which was heavily hinted in the L/ost A/gent arc and which probably explains the fillers focused on her and H/itsugaya) or R/angiku having a piece of the S/OUL K/ING in her soul before A/izen stole it from her. He also got physically sick and tired of writing this story but SJ had initially given him enough time to end the story and what did he do? Waste time until SJ had had enough and made the cancellation announcement. You have a summary of that whole mess in this post.

The post-ending claims (from K/ubo himself and from those stans) about K/ubo planning the manga’s ending since the start (chapter 1) are also false.

K/ubo is great at characters design btw (though he had the same face syndrom at one point in TYBW when drawing his characters... especially when he was drawing T/oshiro in his bankai form) but as for the storytelling, he was only good if you stop at SS, after that... Well, we know how it went. It doesn't mean we didn't get good things from the following after that tho, it just means that things gradually started to go wrong until it became too much.

I hope this answer helps you to understand the situation better. Have a good day as well!

#answered #hidinginthebog #anti bleach ending #anti bleach fandom #those fans are so loud rn but lol let's not forget THAT poll from 2007 aka when the manga was at its peak 👀 #also his changing answer about live action is funny but that shows how he can change his version on some stuff #b/each twt was a mistake bc the things i see there... that's why i don't interact with the fandom there #also v/iz post their own agenda with mistranslations etc. lol

[articsmiths]

Day 1

Hello, my name is ArticSmith, well it's not really that would be a bit odd. I also googled how to start a blog for about an hour and i just decided to be lazy and just use Tumblr cus i dont have to download or pay for anything. I've decided to come out of my shell? idk i just want to talk about my life without the odds of my friends thinking I'm some arse who hates everyone including the people the love the most.

About my day,

I start every day fresh at 5:10 in the morning even tho i don't have to be out the house by 8. Why do i do this? i don't know. i just like to lay in bed when its dark and stare at my phone for an hour scrolling through TikTok to make me feel like im in a good sate of head. After at 6 i get my dodgy looking uniform that hasn't been washed in a week. It stinks. but we live in a time where we can't wash clothes as Offen cus it costs to much. its your average secondary school outfit jumper, tie, button up shirt, trousers to make us feel like we are all equal but not even the teachers treat us like we are. Then i go back to lying in bed.7 i finally get back up and do my hair, I swear it has so much heat damage as ive been curling the front bits with my hair dryer for over a year. It never looks perfect until the day before i get a haircut so i end up looking like lord Farquaad. I wouldn't mind being dumb or mean or a nitty as long as my hair looked nice everyday i would be so happy. I don't wear makeup cus my friends tell me not too, i don't know why it is? cus im just not old enough but they have all been wearing it since 10. I think its cus im such a “tomboy” i just can't be girly ever. Guess im stuck as a little boy for fucking ever. After half an hour of disappointment i give up with my hair it just never looks right. Around half 7 i have nothing to do i hate breakfast so i don't have to eat so i decided to finish my schoolbook that I've had since my birthday but i just couldn't finish. It ended great i finished it. It was solitaire by Alice Osmond If anyone sees this and wants to know that i can read?8 i leave the house with a aching neck and a new book in my bag also by alice (radio silence), i take the very short walk to the reason of my deppresion as i live quite neer my school. i walk through hells gates to see my friends sat on our table. I can see them but i just ignore them and head straight to the toilet. Its like a gamble when i go into them in the mornings, its either empty so i can fix my hair or full of chavs so i run to the disabled loos as im not cis gender so i can use them. Its just a pull as they have a bigger mirror so i can see if i look ok.I ’m not popular, me and my friends get made fun of daily and get called emos . we arnt even emo. we are all girls but one and have short hair so that makes us emo. I deal with the average year 7 calling me a slur and telling me to kill myself while talking to my friends before form.  By this point im ready to throw myself off a building. I hate school i have very low attendance cus i just dont like to go in. Im not behind im quite smart i know what im doing in lessons, I just hate being there. I'd be home schooled if i could. My lessons go by very quick as they ar so boring. I dont talk alot in them as im not some big gobbed twat who shouts at the teachers to suck their mums cus they told them to move seats.Im in drama at school and we are doing a musical about Oliver twist. and as today is thurday i had rehearsals. Singing and dancing like a twat is what im good at cus i act all day long like i want to be there so its fun. the teachers like me so im all good. i get home and flop onto bed after drinking an energy drink. they just dont work anymore idk why. i make my own tea cus my mum isnt home and watch tv and just look dead. Then i got the idea “HEY LETS MAKE A BLOG” i downloaded all these stupid websites and got stressed and then went “wait i have a Tumblr that i havnt ouched since 2021 omg lets just use that” and here we are Ive been typing for 2 hours for nobody even to see this idk i just think ill get better at telling you readers about myself soon

i hope the people who see this stay and enjoy my blogs about a shitty life of a teen in the uk who doesn't do anything but lay in bed and complain and have to spell and grammar check there hole rant cus they spell like a 3 year old lol.

sighing out ArticSmith

#first post #life rant #daily blog

[milkybonya]

Hi Milky! It's been a little while :) I've been a bit overwhelmed with life and mentally somewhere else for the past few weeks. Not in a bad place but just.. A lot I guess. It's finals week here and so far things are going well! I've taken 2 of my 5 finals and I got high A's on both so I'm happy :) but I also started my second job yesterday so the whole finals and 2 jobs thing has just been WHOOSH if you feel me?? But I've been staying positive and happy throughout it don't worry :) I still write to Kingdom everyday which is definitely therapeutic and it makes me smile! I found out Jahan's favorite color is purple today bc he answered me in a menpa and I'm so 🥺🥺 over it!! Sweetest boy truly 💙

Sometimes at one of my jobs I get the opportunity to listen to music during part of my shift so I usually put on my soft/slow kpop Playlist so my ear buds aren't too obnoxious with my Jikjin or I love you LOL! The Playlist has a lot of cute songs that make me happy! But whenever I hear My Treasure or Beautiful I always think of you and that makes me smile :) and yes I think of YOU! Not even Treasure themselves 😂😭 I just watched the Darari remix exclusive performance video! It was so great omggg the song is still really cute even tho it is a more rockish remix so I was still a little caught off guard with their all black edgy (but hot) outfits jdjsjs they all looked so fine 👀 Haruto in the long blonde hair I'm losing it 😭😭😭 I'm really into the ripped black jeans look so basically... It was a good video for me lol. I'm sad Darari promotions got canceled tho :( Hyunsuk (I believe it was him, I saw it a week or so ago) had to tell a fan promotions got canceled on a fan call like YG didn't even make an official statement about it :( the same thing happened to Kingdom too... Mujin had to tell us on vlive that Promise promotions got canceled. So upsetting 😔

Also oh my GOSH THE SKZ CONCERT?!!! All your pictures looked amazing oh how I wish I could have gone!! I bet it was amazing... You mentioned seeing red lights live like omg how did you survive??? What an awesome experience!! I can't believe it lasted 3 hours. What a time 🤩 any other concerts lined up??? How much more time do you have in Korea?? I hope you've done everything you wanted to do and more! But there's still time I hope 🥰 I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not but the Russian department at my school is trying to line up a summer study abroad to Latvia as a language intensive program! I'm sooooo excited even though it would be summer of 2023 and that's so far away but it's fine I'm getting hype anyways jfjdjsjs

Also you left me some questions in your response to my ask a while ago and I don't want to forget them!! I haven't seen the web dramas!! But haruto as a cold character ahhh that sounds so good 🤩 I'm going to be so busy over the summer bc I'm still going to be working 2 jobs and I'm taking 3 summer classes with one being condensed into 5 weeks ndndnsn I may or may not cease to exist until mid July starting in like a week or two so if I can't get to it I'll have to add it to my watch later list for the second half of summer (which I desperately hope won't be as busy as the first half)! Also hello??? I didn't realize Asahi wrote/composed orange!! He is so amazing I am falling in love brb don't mind me- jdjsjs and I kind of answered your question about my summer plans earlier! I hope I can go back home sometimes to see my mom. This is going to be my first summer away from my family and I'm kinda sad :( but my roommate is staying at school as well and she is basically a sister to me at this point so it won't be too bad (except when she's gone with her boyfriend which is like all the time but that's another story-). I love hockey!! My favorite team is in the playoffs rn and I am really hoping they pull through the first round 🙏 everyone was expecting us to do terribly (including myself ngl) but we're actually only one win away from getting to the next round! I'm so proud 🥺 I don't play personally but if I had the free time I'd love to pick it up. Whenever I'd play it in gym class it was so much fun 🤩 I can roller blade and ice skate decently but not well enough to do anything more than skate. Definitely not Play a whole sport jdjsjs I'd love to try field hockey tho. Since it's basically floor hockey. Maybe someday!

Anyways I'm going to wrap up here since my message is terribly long now and I'm worried Tumblr will eat it 😫 pls Tumblr nim I beg 🙏🙏 hope you had a good day/have a good day!! 💙

hello my love!! i'm sorry to hear you feel overwhelmed :(( i hope you're taking it a day at a time and that things can calm down after finals! and i hope you get a high A on your other 3 finals!!

omg working 2 jobs and studying,, i worked just 1 before and it was already bad :(( but also i want to tell you, even if you're not in a positive mindset, it's okay ♡ don't feel pressure to force yourself to think any certain way ♡♡ but honestly regardless, i'm so proud of you for staying positive ♡

YAYY I'M SO HAPPY YOU GOT NOTICED IN A MENPA 🥺 and purpoe is such a cute colour ;")

listening to music while working is the best~~ i wasn't allowed to, but my friend who wore a hijab would hide her earbuds under there and i was always a bit jealous hehe but i'm so glad you get to listen to music!! especially since working can be so tiring T-T

i'm so honoured you think of me when listening to treasure AHH honestly i'm always thinking of you too 🥺 and darari remix was insane,, seeing it live too they popped off !!! and now the video is so good !! Asahi being so silly in the background of all the cuts is hilarious hh but i'm also so sad promos are cancelled :(

omg stray kids live,, i'm still not over it ☆_☆ Seungmin is my bias and that day really just confirmed that fact,, the way he was being so cute and running around the stage waving at all of us ! also red lights live aha i aLMOST PASSED OUT IT WAS INSANE T-T

i'm seeing astro on the 28th and i'm super excited >_< Jinjin and another member will have solo stages that dayyy hehe

i only have a month left here,, so sad but i think it really is time for me to go back aHh but i really want to come back here sometime

hey even if your exchange program is summer next year, you can still be excited!! i was excited for my exchange even when it was a year away and still unsure because of covid.. so it's okay to get excited !!!

omg your summer sounds so busy :(( definitely take your time with the web drama and just watch it when you're free! also i hope you can find time to rest :(( but yes, Asahi, Haruto and Hyunsuk all worked on orange!! the kings they are!!!!!!!

i understand you wanting to go back to your mom :(( i really hope time will pass quickly so you can see her soon >_< but wow your hockey team is doing so well!! i hope they stay winning!!

i went rollerblading the other day and it was so fun but scary since i haven't done it in a while >_<

field hockey and floor hockey are both so fun!!!

luckiky tumblr didn't eat this >_< have a good day/night love!!

#yutopiada talks #baekhyuns-lipchain ;3; #beloved Kelsey ♡ #milky's moots

[jayflrt]

Hey, Alice! It's 🎶 anon. I've been struggling with my mental health recently, so I haven't been on Tumblr for the past couple of days. But yes, I do have a plan to build an audience. When I get done writing my first book, I'm going to publish it on Wattpad, and hopefully, it will spread to people all over the website and maybe even get noticed by someone important, who will then reach out to me.

Also, yes, I love many genres of music, including K-R&B, K-Rock, & K-HipHop. I, too, am a DPR Live fan! :D

I was wondering if you wanted to be friends on discord so we could talk about music and writing and other fun things! If so, I'll dm you my discord username and tag (although, then I guess I won't be anonymous to you anymore lmao). If not, that's okay, too.

Also, I seem to have gotten back just in time for some more Tumblr drama. Yay me. I would like to give my 2 cents, just because I am part of the community that the two people involved offended. First of all, I'm seriously tired of people throwing slurs around like confetti. Why can't people just be fucking respectful? It's not that hard. And if you use the excuse of "I didn't know it was a slur" then maybe you should've looked it up before repeating it. If you have access to Tumblr, then you have access to Google. If it seems like a slur, then it probably is, and you should educate yourself before you go around saying it like an idiot. Second of all, I am appalled at what the first person said about eating dogs. All my life, people have used that as a way to get under my skin. It almost seems like this person was trying to offend Chinese people. It seems like they just thought of the most insensitive thing they could say, and said it. And the fact that the second person backed them up instead of correcting their behavior just shows that many people care more about defending a friend than doing what's right. Lastly, I'm too tired to get into the third person that defended the second person, but I really hope the first two learn from their mistakes. Hopefully, someday they'll look back on this and cringe at how they acted.

hihi 🎶 anon !! 🥰 omg i’m sorry you haven’t been feeling good :(( definitely take some time for yourself and to practice self care if you find that to be helpful <33 also that sounds great ! i started on wattpad too but i just wrote fanfiction there 🤧

AHH YES I LOVE DPR LIVE AND IAN i actually got to see them perform live !! they’re so good 💗💗 and yes ofc you can send me your discord username through asks if you’d like and i wont post it :’)) i’ll have to apologize in advance tho my reply game is not strong HAHAH 😵‍💫

oh gosh yeah the situation that had blown up 🤧 that was an entire mess and i hope it’s done with :// i agree tho i don’t see why people feel the need to throw around slurs as a joke, and the dog eating comment was so off-putting :/ like even if you’re saying that as a comeback, you’re just pushing that disgusting stereotype back to chinese people ?? when you’re not even chinese ?? also i believe they’re sisters(?) i think but yeah i was very shocked by the behavior i saw and they’ll definitely regret acting this way in the future.

#💌 : love notes #🎶 anon

[cafedanslanuit]

rfa + v mc who blares music and sings at the top of their lungs when their stressed, mad, sad(will sometimes cry if its really bad), or feeling any other negative emotions

I know it’s been a while, but I couldn’t figure out how to write this. Finally, I had the idea today! I’ve added a link to each song next to their names I changed Seven’s to quiet singing but I think you’ll like the end result ~

Yoosung (x)

Yoosung can get wanting to express something through song. He’s friends with Zen after all.

But he was still surprised at your song selection

You had had an awful day at work and apparently had argued with one of your colleages,

So as soon as you got home, you threw your purse to the couch and connected your phone to the stereo. Yoosung was coming out of the shower. You both looked at each other for a second.

“I had the worst day at work” you said before pressing play.

“Fuck you, fuck you very very much. ‘Cause your words don’t translate and it’s getting quite late so please don’t stay in touch”

whyishisprincesscursingsomuchomg

He’ll watch you from a distance as you sing your lungs out around the living room and even dance a little bit, pointing at the air as you sing

When you’re over, he’ll wrap his arms around you and hug you tightly.

“Want some tea?”

“... Yes, please”

Zen (x)

Zen went to do the grocery. He insisted MC to go with him, but she refused, saying she wanted to stay home because she was still a little tired.

He had noticed MC being a little off the past few weeks, but he had been too afraid to ask why. 

He did the grocery quickly, not really enjoying it because his lady wasn’t there with him. When he was about to open the door to his place, he heard her voice singing. He decided not to interrupt her and stayed there listening for a little while.

“Yet if he said he loved me, I’d be lost, I’d be frightened. I’d couldn’t cope, just couldn’t cope. I’d turn my head, I’d back away, I wouldn’t want to know. He scares me so, I want him so, I love him so”.

The passion in your voice, a thing an actor could easily notice, was hard to ignore. He tried thinking about what had been going on with you to make you feel that way. Were you feeling like this because of other man? His heart clenched at the idea.

He opened the door, startling you. “Can we talk?” he quickly said and you nodded. Both of you sat on the couch in silence. After a moment, took a deep breath and asked: “Do you have feelings for someone else?”

You looked at him, surprised.

“What?”

“I’m asking if you have feelings for someone else. I heard you singing. That was definitely not just any song for you” he explained, his expression filled with sadness.

Suddenly, you started giggling. He looked at you, confused. You grabbed his hand tightly and smiled at him.

“I don’t know anyone else but you” you assured him. That made him smile just a tiny bit. “It’s just that… I’m scared” you confessed, biting your lip.

“Why are you scared, princess?”

“I’ve never been so serious with someone before. I-- I’ve never lived with someone before and the other week you were talking about marriage and I panicked. I panicked not because I don’t want it, I do, but-- these feelings I have…” you touched your chest. “I never loved somebody like I love you now. And it terrifies me a lot and I--”

A pair of lips crashed against yours. You kissed Zen back and couldn’t hide a smile.

“I never loved anyone like I love you either” he said, grabbing your face in between his hands. He placed a soft kiss on your lips before continuing. “So, can we be scared together?” he offered, making you smile again.

Jaehee (x)

It had been one of those days for Jaehee. She had had too much work at C&R and her new heels were killing her. She was mad, frustrated at everything going on. In that moment, she only wanted to come home and relax with her girlfriend.

When she entered the apartment, you immediately could tell it had been a rough.

“Was Jumin being a pain in the ass again?” you asked, as Jaehee took off her shoes and sat on the couch. She grumbled. You smiled sweetly and turned on the stereo, connecting your phone via bluetooth.

“I know what can help you” you teased, before pressing play. You started walking towards her with a huge grin on your face.

“We’re soaring… flying… there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach” you sang along.

Jaehee realised which song was it but refrained from singing along. You frowned and kept singing.

“You know the world can see us in a way that’s different from who we are. Creating space between us ‘til we separate hearts. But your faith--”

Now Jaehee was singing along as well. You knew your musical theatre loving girlfriend couldn’t resist High School Musical, even though it was her guilty pleasure.

Jumin (x)

Of course when Jumin learnt you could play the piano, he bought a big one for his penthouse. He loved listening to you play while he drank a glass of wine.

You played exclusively classical music, which le loved.

But once, he decided to come home early. He had decided to surprise you by taking out out for dinner.

He was about to announce himself, when he heard your voice on the piano. Making sure not to make noise, he took a couple of steps and watched you play. He had never heard that song before, never before heard you sing while playing the piano.

“But I don’t want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies, all I want is someone to believe. Honesty is such a lonely word…”

It was an emotional performance, Jumin had never seen someone pour all their feelings into a song. He let you finish and then saw you wiping the tears on your face with the back of your hand. 

He coughed a little, making himself present. You quickly turned your head in surprise. Your cheeks turned a bright pink.

“Do you want to talk about something?” he asked, walking towards you and sitting beside you on the piano bench. You sighed and took his hand.

“You know I can get kind of… insecure sometimes. With you having so many women with higher positions wanting to be with you, even after knowing you’re in a relationship. And I know you would never, never cheat on me but I have been cheated before.”

Jumin didn’t know that. He knew you got insecure sometimes, but he didn’t know someone had dared to betray your trust like that. He felt his muscles tense as he thought of you finding out and crying about it.

“Hey. It was last year and we split up after that. And I know you’re not like that, honey, I just… I don’t know, my head messes up with me sometimes. So “Honesty” seemed like a good song to… express myself I guess” you smiled softly.

Jumin kissed your temple and hugged you tightly against his chest.

“You’re the only woman I want beside me. The only one that makes my heart go faster when she’s around, or even when I think about her. So please, don’t worry your head, not about those things. None of them make me as happy as you do”.

Seven (x)

It’s a quiet morning. Saeyoung is asleep on the bed he still doesn’t want to share with you. He had bought a bed and made up a guest bedroom for you, which made you feel exactly like that: a guest. Not his girlfriend.

He has been working all night, you know, and maybe it was foolish to believe everything would be okay when you returned with Saeran, but Saeyoung was isolating himself again. 

Saeran was still at the hospital but you knew things wouldn’t get better when he returned home.

You know it’s rude to stare, but you do it every morning after you wake up. You look at him sleep for a couple of minutes and then start your day.

This time you go to the living room and see the RoboCat in a corner, not working anymore. And you can’t help but cry. You sit on the couch and start singing silently.

“Haven’t had a dream in a long time. See the life I’ve had can make a good man bad. So, for once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time” you sing quietly, tears running down your cheeks.

You put your hands in your face and sob for a moment, until you feel someone sitting next to you. You jump, surprised, and quickly wipe your tears.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you” you mutter.

“What do you want?” he asks. You look at him, confused. “You were singing about wanting something. What do you want?”

His eyes are tired and his voice is raspy, but he looks like he’s really asking.

“I want you” you reply. Saeyoung opens his eyes, more awake now, his cheeks turning pink. You smile softly at that reaction, you had certainly missed that. He tries to process what you have just said, so you give him a little time to do that.

“Give me some time please” he murmurs. “I… I know we were getting somewhere. I just… There’s too much going on. But it’s not I don’t-- I don’t want… you” he says, the colour on his cheeks getting more and more intense.

“Okay, okay” you whisper. You tentatively reach for his hand and softly grace it. When he doesn’t move it, you try and hold it. He still doesn’t move it.

You know it will take some time. But you would get there. Both of you would.

V (x) (x)

V knew you had gone to visit your parents after a long time. You didn’t answer when he texted you, asking how it had gone. You only replied saying “i’m home, please bring dinner”

So when V came home he was really surprised to hear really really loud music while you were playing the air guitar.

“What’s the worst that I can say, things are better if I stay so long and goodbye, so long and goodbye” you sang. You turned around and saw your boyfriend but didn’t stop. He looked at you, a little smile but still confused. V left the take out on the table and cam closer. You put your hand for V to take and pulled him into our frenzy performance.

During a small interlude, you began dancing some moves that V swore were from ballet.

“My dad hated that I was into this band when I was growing up” you shouted above the music, still dancing with him. The song ended and you quickly changed it to the next one.

“He thought it didn’t suit me, it was too rebellious, not me. But fuck his expectations for me, fuck everything” you continued and kept singing along.

“A life that’s so demanding, I get so weak. A love that’s so demanding I can’t speak. I’m not afraid to keep on living, I’m not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey if you stay, I’ll be forgiven” you pointed at an amused V. “Nothing you can say can stop me going home”.

“This is home now, though” you shouted, holding V’s hand. “This is home. You are home” you assured him. He could see in your eyes something had happened that afternoon, but he decided to ask tomorrow. 

Now it was time to let you let go.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mysme hcs #mysme hc #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger hc #mystic messenger headcanon #mysme jumin #mysme zen #mysme seven #mysme yoosung #mysme jaehee #mysme v #i live for the drama and i love it when i can include music omg

[erodasfishtacos]

HSLOT WASHINGTON D.C.

Like, comment, share, and come talk if you enjoyed the fic.

*inspired by this *

I write for free - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. (plus my bday is coming up in a week 😌)

-

Despite Harry being less than active on social media, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t creep through Instagram and Twitter after the shows.

He used a fake account to scroll, constantly liking pictures and videos of his wife dancing or funny fan signs to his phone.

Tonight, after the Philly show, YN was already fast asleep in their tour bus bed - she had curled into Harry with her leg between his and her head on his bicep.

Harry was trending on Twitter for his show, however, he scrolled a bit further and noticed that a hashtag called #JusticeforYN was trending.

When he clicked on the link, it took him down a rabbit hole of screenshots and videos from the concert.

It doesn’t take long to see what had happened, it was a girl recording herself on Snapchat from the pit during the concert.

The ‘fan’ held up her phone enough that you could see her but also YN, Jeff, Harry Lambert, and Tommy in the background behind the pit.

Adore You started blasting through his AirPod and the girl recorded his wife dancing with their friends - he gets distracted for a moment, watching her have fun and sing along.

He loved her so fucking much.

But then, it’s the next clip, and the captioned text on the video said ‘Harry’s Whore.’

The small smile on his face disappears instantly when he sees where this is going.

In the next few segments, the girl is screaming things at YN who can’t even hear them because of the music but it’s still completely disrespectful.

“Hi, Harry’s Whore!”

“Get the fuck outta here, nobody wants you here!”

“Fuck you!”

It makes Harry rage, even from the comfort of his bunk with his perfect love, and then he digs deeper to find his real fans defending YN.

YN was pretty loved by the fans. She was always kind, posted pictures of Harry (because he rarely did), and made really kickass merch.

He finds the Twitter account of the girl who harassed his wife, her name was Gina, and he read through her tweets.

She was going to three more of the concerts - following them from Philly to Detroit.

One of her tweets said…

‘If you guys are mad about what I said during the last concert, just wait what I have to say to her next time.’

And he also finds out that she had won a meet and greet for the DC show through the record label and Harry already knew what he was gonna do.

-

YN wakes up before Harry, sitting in the small living area of the bus - watching a cooking show on the television and still slightly dozing in and out of sleep.

“Hi bun,” She mumbles, opening her arms and legs to let Harry flop between them. Chest to chest and he was a bit to heavy for this but he liked laying like this.

“Mornin’, my love,” Harry rasps, peppering kisses all over her jaw and the smooth column of her neck until she giggles.

“Shouldn’t you be saying good morning to your whore on tour?” YN replies, her voice is light and unbothered - obviously found out the online drama.

Harry tenses up, looks up at her seriously, and tells her, “M’gonna take care of it.”

“Don’t, it’s fine, bubs,” YN assures him, she’s smiling softly and Harry just…he is so obsessed with the woman below him that he has to kiss her for a long moment.

“No, it’s not. I’m not going t’let someone treat m’wife like that. She won tha’ meet and greet. I’m gonna have a talk w’her when she comes backstage,” Harry tells her, lips brushing on every word and he can help but grind his hips forward against her.

“Always so horny in the morning,” Yn teases but still lets her thighs fall open a little bit more so that the only barrier is their underwear.

“Can y’blame me? Look wha’ I wake up to,” He rumbles, voice getting illogically deeper and raspier when he speaks.

It’s not long before he tugs his briefs down just enough and her panties to the side to get inside her with his lips glued to hers.

He’s whispering things that would make him blush with embarrassment if anyone heard him.

“Can’t believe y’mine after all this time.”

“Y’my perfect match, on m’knees for you whenever you ask.”

“Arena full of people and all I see is you, baby.”

“Feel like heaven.”

“Only y’make me feel like this.”

“Come on, stubborn girl. Show me y’love me.”

-

Harry looks insanely stunning in his purple outfit but honestly - YN always steals the show (without even trying). ***

They’re in a common area, waiting for the meet and greet with the fans - it’s comical how Gina’s face drops when she arrives to see Harry facing away from everyone with YN giggle as he crowds her up against a wall.

They can hear Harry murmur, “Y’alway showin’ me up. Only gonna be able to look at y’during the show, bug.”

“Harry,” Jeff calls to his client, making him turn around and his eyes instantly search the small groups of fans until his eyes land on a girl dressed in a bright pink fishnet dress and boa.

“You,” Harry points at her, his face isn’t giving away any emotion, “Can I have a chat w’you?”

“S-sure,” She stutters, eyes wide and excited - oblivious that Harry actually knows what she had been posted on social media.

The singer takes her off to the side, YN’s eyes keep darting to them as she chats with the friendly fans who are complimenting her dress and her merch designs.

Frank is standing near Harry, prepared to escort the girl out after the conversation.

“Can we get a selfie?” Gina asks, pulling out her cellphone.

“No,” Harry replies seriously, “You also are going to get escorted out of this arena and banned from any of my future concerts.”

“Wh-what?” The girl stumbles, eyes watering as she looks at him in confusion and dismay.

“I need to make this a safe space for everyone who comes to my concerts. That especially includes m’wife. And I don’t feel comfortable havin’ someone scream at m’wife and posting nasty things on social media attending my concert.”

Realization flashes across Gina’s face, “I’m so so sorry. I can apologize. I really didn’t mean-“

“No. I don’t think my whore of a wife would want to hear it,” Harry chuckles with a nasty edge, “Y’can fuck off now. Go find a new artist to harass ‘cause if I see y’face at one of m’concerts - y’getting kicked out immediately.”

Frank appears beside them, gently guiding the hysterical girl out of the room while the fans look back in confusion.

They forget all about it once Harry saunters up to them and gives them a crooked smile, “Hi, m’Harry. How are y’guys?”

The fans don’t miss his hand moving quickly to squeeze his wife’s hip in reassurance before starting to sign things and take pictures.

-

Later that night, the disgruntled ‘fan’ sends out a nasty few tweets where real fans go after her and defend YN.

Also, the true fans are cooing over the fact that Harry is such a good husband.

haleyhs22: omg, could you imagine being called out by the nicest guy on this earth

tpwkjess_young: okay but I wish I had the luck that @ynstyles has to get a manz like that 😩

UsWeekly: Harry Styles bans ignorant fan from tour after nasty videos were leaked attacking his wife

strawberriesinsummer: harry is such a VIBE. Like he deadass kicked that girl out and then spent the whole night trying to seduce his wife with his shimmies and winks - he’s the hoe 🍑

-

#update #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #hslot harry #hslot!harry #hslotrry #Washington DC hslot #harry styles fic recommendatioin #Harry styles fluff #Harry styles angsts #erodasfishtacos masterlist #harrystylesfanfic #husband!harry #harry styles husband

[dojae-huh]

jaehyun really said move it's from ME lol but it's so funny to me because jihyo (the female lead)'s tweet he mentioned jh 😭 we all should thank her haha https://twitter.com/lilillililiill/status/1497074042909593600?s=21

Another anon

he's so brave heh https://twitter.com/jaedothings/status/1497084860032188419?s=21

Another

OH WOW https://twitter.com/14aehyun/status/1497090099095519260?s=21

Another

WOW whatever ban there was it's TRULY LIFTED NOW OMG ..??? Very clever though these two..

Another

That food truck Jaehyun sent to Doyoung! Ahahahhhh what a leap, Jaehyun, from writing do not upload pictures during musical, to declaring his love openly. Good for you, good for you.

-------------

Link, Link2, Link3

Jalentine sent a link to churros.

Let's recap.

February 25, 2022, Jaehyun sends a food truck to Doyoung's filming location.

The text on the blue banner: "Please take care of Siho-hyung who loves me a lot. Cheer up to all of the actors/actresses and staff. - Jaehyun". It's the right translation.

The coffee cup paper reads "Please drink and have strength"

맛있게 드시호 힘 내시호

Doyoung posted a story on his IG with the comment "I can't not love you".

- Of course JaeDo tag trended worldwide.

- A kfan comments how the photo with both a heart and Do's face was chosen from his IG post.

- The blue sweater is from Doyoung's playlist content for 127's day, a few pictures were used to congratulate Do with his BD on the official NCT IG, including the one printed for the track.

- The picture with flowers is from Universe (Let's play ball) photoset.

Smart ass Jaehyun.

- The title of the drama is "To X Who Doesn’t Love Me". Siho is one of those X (I think). So he made a joke about that.

- Jae made a pun with "Siho" name, he changed the endings to this name in the text on the coffee cup paper belts.

- "Doyoung who loves me" is also how Jaehyun referenced Doyoung in the past. He was asked by a fan during one FM why he likes Doyoung, Jae replied "he looks like a bunny, he has a nice voice, he loves me".

- The churros that the actress who posted about the food truck holds weren't on the original menu (the one you can see in the window). Jaehyun added it.

Churros are important. It's what Doyoung likes and it was what JaeDo bought when they had their non-dates during trainee times.

(rough translation)

Q: What are you doing on weekends?

Do: I live in dorms, so I always call Jaehyun. We go to Namsan or Itaewon to eat something tasty.

Jae: What other people do with their girlfriends, we do together. We enjoy the nature views around Namsan and eat churros.

- The food truck is called "Young truck coffee" (Do-young). Maybe it's a coincidence, maybe Jae made his choice of this truck owner because of it.

- Lastly. Jaehyun made it look like "to my hyung who loves me as a dongsaeng". And some Jae's fans care more about how Doyoung gathered everyone to send a truck, while Jaehyun did it all alone (so he is more considerate). Heh.

- Why is Taeyong not sending anything? Jaehyun forbids? haha.

[mego42]

What are some of your favorite GG song Moments. ? Here are some of mine.

1. Easy ft lorde- OMG this soong is such a bop. it just fits the scene so well. HONESTLY one of my fav scenes. HE IS LIVING HIS BEST LIFE IN THIS SCENE. I LOVE CHAOTIC RIO

2. Wild heart by SPELLES.- THIS SONG IS SO HAUNTING just fits the vibe so well. SO ANGSTY

3. The most recent song. Used in that Brio moment. Idk what its called . I know that Beth is having the time of her life but that song is just HEAVY. The lyrics 🙏😭😭❤❤❤ such a pretty song fr 😔

omg anon i love this question nearly as much as i love your taste. YES!!!! to Easy (i too love tf out of personification of chaos rio), YES!!!!! to Wild Heart!!!!  it’s SO HAUNTING and disorienting and PERFECT. and Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!! to the most recent song (whole life by perfume genius). i am LIVING for the heavy ballad vibes, super agree it’s so pretty. 

in no particular order, my top 5 music moments:

blanket me / hundred waters

1x09 - beth makes the calendar laying out her kids future in case something happens to her

i’ve already exposed myself as an absolute loon when it comes to this song and you can read the whole breakdown here

but tl;dr it’s a song about relying too much on a person and needing to break free and be independent but not in a toxic sort of way, more in a for personal growth and the best for everyone because co-dependence holds everyone back and i really, really, really love that in context of beth and her children, her learning to step back and not smother them but also not give so much of herself that she disappears entirely because that’s not good for them in the long run

basically it’s sort of a thesis statement for beth’s underlying s1 arc

plus it’s just like, heavy and haunting and absolutely gorgeous and not to be like, unreasonably pretentious, moves me and i love it

notable lyrics: You're my blanket, you're my skin / You're everything within / You're my guardian, I'm your sail / A boat in your harbor / Gone under, capsized and sinking / Blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me

-

whole life / perfume genius

4x06 - beth looking for a place to hide the wire/hooking up with rio

the song is all about leaving behind the things weighing you down and moving into a brighter, more free future and i love love love how that plays with the duality of beth hiding the wire and securing her source of information for the secret service BUT ALSO marking this moment as a turning point for beth and rio because it absolutely is.

(like not just the fact that they’ve resumed a physical relationship but rio’s invited beth deeper into his world and we’re seeing beth crack on a level we really haven’t before)

this season is leaning SO HARD into duality and the tangled up truths and lies between them and i am absolutely UNHINGED over it

i also really love the like, passionate ballad nature of it juxtaposed over this twisted, extremely sexy moment (intercut with dean joyfully trying to seize hold of his new hobby only to be IMMEDIATELY denied)

there are just so many layers to it and i love all of them

notable lyrics: The mark where he left me / A clip on my wing / Oh, let it soften / I forgive everything

-

ocean rain / echo & the bunnymen

4x04 - the beth and jane/rio getting the drop on fitz montage

the whole theme of this song is two people tearing each other apart and destroying the bones of their former intimacy which like, hello subject matter aptitude and it’s told through this GLORIOUSLY dramatic hurricane at sea imagery with ships being dragged below the waves by the hurricanes the two people have called down on each other set to a gorgeous over the top orchestral score

on a yrical note, i love that the song is basically the same verse over and over (interspersed with the chorus, obvs) and the only change is me vs you when it comes to who brought the storm down on them

basically, if you were challenged to come up with a song that represented two peak dramatique heaux nightmare factories locked in a never ending game of deadly cat and mouse, you couldn’t top this.

i am ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with the choice to pair it with a montage of beth finally pulling the trigger (with foresight and intent, shooting rio was p obvs a oh shit look what i did moment), a milestone rio’s been dragging her (down) towards since the beginning of s2 AND using him to do it, dragging him (down) into her mess (m ade all the more messy when you consider he was the target of it) (i just! love it! so! much!)

i want to live in johnathan leahy’s brain

notable lyrics: all at sea again / and now my[your] hurricanes have brought down this ocean rain / to bathe me again / my ship’s a-sail / can you hear it’s tender frame / screaming from beneath the waves / screaming from beneath the waves

-

el musgo / gabriel bruce

3x04 - rio watches beth make money

UGH GOD when that high hat and bass kicked in the first time i was like oh shit we are in for some DRAMA and sure enough we were as well as a more sexual montage than anything you’d find in actual porn.

idk, the fact that they chose this deep, dark, mournful about lost love to an elongated montage slow motion montage of rio watching beth make fake cash and deciding not to kill her for nearly killing him doEs stuFf to me

all i’m saying is johnathan leahy ships brio harder than any of us and is a more dramatique heaux than either of them, which are two really impressive feats to achieve

AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!! they CHOPPED THE SONG UP!!!!! so they were able to take advantage of the dawning drama of the opening bars BUT ALSO include the closing stanza about wearing the marks the subject of the song gave the singer like a scar where they took his heart from him and the INTENTIONALITY of that creative choice puts me on the FLOOR

LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notable lyrics: I'll wear this mark like a medal / But it's a scar / Where you took my heart from me

-

kimono hill / sophia kennedy

3x01 - rio leaves the hotel

honeslty, lowkey surprised this one made my top five. not because it isn’t a fabulous song deployed with johnathan leahy’s usual mastery, but bc i didn’t realize how much i loved it until making this list

i don’t really have like, a deep, lyrically rooted storytelling reason for loving it, i just think the way they used it in the show is Such A Vibe

the way the vibrating synthy tones and underlying organ kicks in while rio’s getting in the elevator has this beautiful held breath anticipatory quality to it that works SO WELL to set up the montage of rio strutting out back into his life while turner gets murdered (a scene i have some uh, complicated feelings about but setting those aside), and the bolands’ fresh start to the tune of bouncy drums and looping vocals

idk it’s such a shining note to end the first episode of a new season on, i remember feeling refreshed and super hype for what’s to come

notable lyrics: no lyrics, just the vibe of the opening bars

tl;dr i really, really, REALLY love how this show uses music. you can tell they put a lot of time and effort and thought into it and while i know the trajectory isn’t working for everyone, personally i love it. granted, as you can see from this list, i clearly love the shit out of a down tempo dramatic ballad, so. if you are more of a bangers and bops person, i would point you to @nickmillerscaulk’s inbox as she is a Certified Bangers Afficianado.

#i think about music and soundtracks an aggressively normal amount #there's an au version of me that's a music supervisor and she's living her best life #nbc good girls #gg soundtrack #moar music #shut up meg #anon

[sailordiavolo]

suicide prevention month 2021 - things that helped me stay alive

i heard that this month is suicide prevention month in the united states. as someone who’s struggled for many years with suicide myself, and is currently in the mystical “better place”, i feel it’s my duty to open this can of worms. i am unafraid of the stigma that comes with discussing such things.

i’ll go over things that helped me to cope during dark times. these may also apply to being depressed in general (?) because no offense but “drinking water” doesn’t help as much as google seems to think it does. note that these aren’t be all end all solutions, more like techniques that helped me to stay sane on some of my worst days.

1. get rid of everything that’s an immediate danger to your health.

if you’re actively a danger to yourself, safety-proof your home. don’t keep sharp objects lying around, or anything dangerous of the like. get rid of anything toxic or chemical, and don’t keep medicines in excess.

2. if you can’t make yourself happy, try to mildly amuse yourself instead

thinking “happy thoughts” doesn’t really work for me, especially if i’m in the throes of a depressive episode. i do have many things that make me happy, but i seem to forget about all of them in dark times. that being said, really dumb jokes get me every time. if i can make myself laugh, smile or chuckle, i’ve already made it 10 times easier for myself. and if i can do that, usually it’s easy to make myself forget about the original reason i was upset in the first place.

dear reader, i don’t know what would count as “mildly amusing” to you, but here’s some things that work for me.

i have a self care playlist on youtube. mine’s pretty dumb, but making a playlist like that of things that you find entertaining or amusing might help. another amazing one is distantcry’s worst beat ever collection.

very specific songs that really get me going include metrostation’s shake it, botdf’s bewitched, rm’s expensive girl, and she past away’s ruh.

3. do some self care activities

self care is very very important. when you feel like you’re absolute worst, that’s a free pass to be as selfish as you need to be until you feel better. no job, no person, no drama is worth dying over. all of that can wait until after you’re finished what you’re doing. if you’re not really sure what to do as self care activities, i’ll list some suggestions.

take a hot bath, if possible. if you have the resources, add bubbles, flower petals, bathe salts or candles. i did this the other day and sat in the bath and ate crumpets. it was amazing. if not, have a steaming hot shower. (i know it’s hard to find the energy, but it’ll help, i promise)

watch your favourite childhood show, or your favourite show at the moment, or play a video game.

sleep all day, or take the day off.

eat your favourite food, or the best food available to you right now.

spend some money if you have it. personally, i never spend all my money in a week, i save some in case i have a panic attack or something so then i can spend money on something totally random to make myself feel better.

change up your appearance. i usually end up cutting my hair short or randomly dying it, but this can also mean dressing in a way that makes you feel good, painting your nails, or doing your makeup.

4. know how to comfort yourself

this is related to the last one but knowing what brings you comfort is very important. it took me a very long time to figure out what things i find comforting. list the things that you find comforting, and you can use those to help yourself feel better. it might be music, interests, even something abstract.

if you can’t think of anything, then make sure to pay attention to things that make you feel nice/comforted, and list them down. it’s also important to know what will send you over the edge, so you can avoid it.

5. distraction topics

this may help with anxiety as well, but having distraction topics can help you to calm down and forget about what you were worried about. it’s good to have a few distraction topics up your sleeve in case of emergency. i’ll list a few of my favourites, but if you ever need one don’t be afraid to ask me directly, or send me an ask on my blog! i have a ridiculous amount of misc knowledge just floating around.

dinosaur fossils of mothers protecting their nest have been found, meaning that dinosaurs probably felt some form of motherly love. love on earth is billions and billions of years old. creatures have loved each other on this planet since before the dawn of history. imagine being the first organism to love on this planet and what that must’ve been like

some cave paintings were animated. they had different frames painted over each other, and the flickering of a flame in the cave would cause the images to appear as if they were moving. isn’t that extremely profound?

i saw somewhere, that scientists attempted to see what an electron was made out of, or something to that effect. it’s made of a pool of energy, which is essentially nothing. no form, no matter. everything is made out of nothing.

6. romanticise your future

a lot of us probably don’t have a concept of the future, or if we do, it’s something that sounds absolutely horrible. well, forget about that! think instead about how hot n sexy you’ll be in your 30’s, 40’s, etc. don’t worry about how you’ll get there for now, your future self can take care of that. think about your ideal life, and get excited like it’s absolutely going to happen. the more you think about it, the more it will become true.

7. romanticise your current self

nobody in your life understands you? that’s because you’re the hot brooding mysterious one. struggle with very dark thoughts? omg you’d be so powerful as a jujutsu sorcerer. people are staring? it’s because they’re in love with you. people whispering as you go by? also in love with you. no friends? the universe had to keep you humble because otherwise you’d be too perfect. hate the way you look today? you’re just a littel troll babie. the more amusing these thoughts are, the better. and if you think these things for long enough, eventually it will trick your brain into thinking it’s true. who’s gonna check you? the telepaths?

8. put things into perspective

i am prone to delusional thoughts when i’m panicked, and i have to remind myself to reel it in. think about it, you’re more afraid of answering the phone than you are of death? doesn’t sound very cash money of you, bro.

think about how many years you’ve really lived, especially if you think you’ve failed in life. take 12 years off your age, because childhood doesn’t count. also take off any other years which you were forced to live the way someone else wanted you to live, rather than for myself.

for example, i’m currently 23. my household was pretty strict, so i couldn’t really do anything before age 18. which gives me a grand total of 5 years of me trying to figure out life by myself. it helps me to remember how young i actually am in the grand scheme of things, and that i have plenty of time to still figure things out.

9. find a safe outlet for dark urges

for me, art and journaling really helped. music too, especially when i felt like i could relate to either the lyrics, or just the tone/mood/feel of the song. it might be exercise, or you may like to do creative writing or make oc’s. sometimes you may just need a friend or someone to listen.

if you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can message me or shoot me an anon

10. sleep it off

sleep is not going to cure anything, but if i’m pushed over the edge and am struggling with dark thoughts, going to sleep almost always helps. most of the time i still feel like shit in the morning, but no longer in the mood to try anything hasty.

lastly: suicide is not the easy way out

note: i’m gonna be discussing my own experiences with suicide in this part, so if you don’t want to see that, then don’t read past this point

suicide is not the easy way out. it’s messy and it’s ugly and it’s painful and it’s gonna bring out the worst in people. i’ve been struggling with it since age 19.

one particular attempt landed me in the hospital after i swallowed a bunch of painkillers. i couldn’t think or speak properly, i was slurring my words and tripping over myself. my doctor brushed me off and said that it “would probably get better” with time, but it never did. it improved, but my mind has never been the same as it once was, and one of my biggest insecurities to this day is when i struggle to learn new things or get things mixed up that i shouldn’t. i struggle to learn the simplest of things, and my reaction times tend to be very slow.

the point is, sometimes you don’t die, sometimes you just end up hurting yourself in a way that won’t get better. nobody needs that. if had’ve known how to calm myself down back then, i might not’ve tried.

i don’t mind talking about it now, since i’ve dedicated so much time in learning how to uplift myself. i may be in the “better place” now, but you don’t need to rush yourself to be better immediately. sometimes you need to be patient, use baby steps, or learn to accomodate yourself where you are. these things take time. that’s okay.

and remember, you are loved and very much needed to be here on the planet with us.

#suicide awareness #suicide awareness month #mental health awareness #mental health #depression #anxiety #self help #suicide prevention #suicide prevention month #cw suicide

[tthankstoyou]

Platonic hevans how would Sam and Kurt comfort each other after all their breakups on glee

I love this omg thanks for the ask! It’s all under the cut cus this got kinda long. Sam deadass dated like every girl on the show 💀

(I’m not doing Samchel bc I didnt watch any of their scenes. I feel like I shouldn’t talk about a ship I know nothing about haha)

Fabrevans breakup: Kurt isn’t at McKinley but he overhears Finn on the phone with Puck bragging about how he got Quinn to make out with him after school even though she’s with Sam. Kurt is like ‘HUH?’ and subtly asks Rachel and Mercedes about it at their next sleepover, which Fabrevans broke up earlier that day. Mercedes and Rachel tell Kurt all of the drama, including how they had a date to Color Me Mine planned for that night that Sam was looking forward to.

Kurt is looks at the time and see’s that there’s still two hours before Color Me Mine closes. Without much thinking, he gets changed into his clothes (since they’re wearing pajamas) and starts texting people for Sam’s address. Mercedes is like “and where are you off to?” Kurt says “I feel bad that Sam isn’t able to go to Color Me Mine anymore, I’m gonna ask him if it’s okay if I go with him.” Mercedes raises her eyebrows and Kurt is like “As two friends who love painting ceramics.”

So he pulls up to the Evans residence. Sam is surprised to see Kurt at his door. He asks what Kurt is doing there and Kurt is straight up like “To take you to Color Me Mine.”

Sam is dating Santana, so Sam says “I cant go on a date with you if I’m dating Santana. Although I think she’d be okay with polyamory if you give me a second to ask her.” Kurt is like “NO! I don’t want to date both you and Santana. I heard that you and Quinn were planning on going to date to Color Me Mine before you guys broke up... and I wanted to know if it would be okay if I took you... as friends.”

Sam says “A bro date to Color Me Mine. I like that. Let me get my jacket and I’ll be right back out.”

Samtana breakup: Sam wasn’t too broken up about their breakup, he honestly saw it coming. He didn’t even realize they were broken up until he saw that Santana was now dating Karofsky. He didn’t care that much, they barley hung out to begin with. But Kurt cared a lot, he wanted to make sure that Sam wasn’t feeling like he was cheated on.

On a night that Kurt was coming over to Sam’s hotel just to drop off clothes, he also decided to bring his laptop and lots of snacks. Sam was surprised to see Kurt bringing all of this stuff, but he wasn’t complaining. Kurt popped in a DVD of avatar that he bought on the way there and they spent the night under the blankets.

Samcedes “breakup” #1: I use the word breakup really loosely as they were never dating the first time around, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other and ending things wasn’t painful.

Sam is living with the Hudmels at this time so Kurt can hear Sam crying from his room. Kurt knocks quietly on Sam’s door. Sam doesn’t answer so Kurt let’s himself in. He see’s Sam bundled under the covers and notices that he’s eyes are bloodshot from all the crying. Kurt sits on the edge of Sam’s bed and tells him that he’s always there for Sam as a friend. Mercedes may be his best friend, but that doesn’t mean he cares about Sam and his happiness any less.

Sam crumbles at this and sobs into Kurt’s shoulder. He tells Kurt all about how Mercedes sing Whitney Houston to him as a way to tell him that she couldn’t do this even though she loved him. Kurt tells him that everything will be okay and that this heartache won’t last forever.... which is true seeing that Sam and Mercedes go to prom together soon after that.

Bram breakup: Sam would, once again, be a sobbing mess. I feel like Sam would be super out of himself, Blaine and Tina are doing their part to cheer him up as their best friends, but Kurt feels like he should do something too seeing as he’s at home when it all happened.

Kurt takes Sam on a bro date, reminiscent of the one that they went on when Sam and Quinn broke up. Kurt takes Sam to see some movie that just came out that Sam has watched the trailer for like 50 times. Kurt almost falls asleep during the movie, but Sam is having the time of his life. It’s the first time that Kurt has seen Sam so happy recently. They leave the theatre and take a short stop to get ice cream. While eating the ice cream, Sam raves about the movie and how amazing it was. He’s already talking about bringing Tina and Blaine to see it with him the next weekend.

Samcedes breakup #2: Sam didn’t see this one coming, they were doing so well. He thought for sure that Mercedes would be the girl he married (spoiler alert: he does marry her, he just doesn’t know it yet).

Before Sam goes back to Lima, Kurt takes Sam out for brunch to talk about how he’s feeling about everything. Sam tells him that he feels like he gives so much love, but the world doesn’t want him to be happy. He tells Kurt that he had a plan for his future with Mercedes. He could see it all so clearly, she was the first person that Sam has dated that he could imagine getting married, raising children, and growing old together. Sam says that feels like he should just give up at love, because it obviously is never going to work out.

Kurt listens to Sam talk in detail about this all for a hella long time, only adding in comments here and there to make sure Sam knows he hasn’t tuned out.

At the end of Sam pouring his heart out, Kurt says “I know my best friends, which are you and Mercedes. I can see how in love you too are and how hard you tried to make it work. From what it sounds like to me, this isn’t a forever breakup. It’s an ‘until we meet again’ breakup, meaning that your story isn’t over. And don’t you give up on love Sam Evans, you are one of the most lovable boys I know. And I promise you that Mercedes hasn’t stopped loving you ever since the summer you guys had your little fling.”

Klaine breakup #1: Sam is in Lima consoling Blaine after the breakup, but he also can’t help but wonder how Kurt is feeling.

One night, Sam calls up Kurt on skype and asks him how he’s holding up. Kurt lies and says he’s fine, but Sam can see right through it. Sam says, “You’re not fine. You don’t have to lie to me” which makes Kurt break out into tears. He tells Sam how much it all hurts and how he never thought he’d have to feel pain like this. Kurt mentions how he feels like he’s not allowed to be sad because he has to help keep Rachel’s spirits up, but it’s just so hard. All he wants to do is have his best friend huh him and help him through his heartbreak.

That gives Sam the idea of visiting New York for the weekend. Sam buys plane tickets with money he’s saved up from working at the tire shop and shows up outside of Kurt’s door on Friday night, completely taking Kurt by surprise. Sam immediately gives Kurt a huge ass hug and tells him that he’s there to help keep his mind off of things.

They have a great weekend, Kurt takes Sam to places in New York that they didn’t see at Nationals two years prior and also takes Sam to all of his fav hidden spots in the city. One of them being a cute little bakery that he spends his mornings in when he doesn’t have anywhere to be.

Sam and Kurt spend Saturday night watching musicals, while Kurt tries to hold back tears because they remind him of Blaine. Sam notices this and makes Kurt turn it off and instead put on Avatar. Kurt is like “Excuse me?” but Sam says it’s because that’s what Kurt did for his breakup with Santana. They might as well make it a tradition.

Klaine breakup #2: Just like with the previous breakup, Sam skype calls Kurt. It’s something they’ve been doing regularly, it helps keep Sam up to date with Mercedes and helps keep Kurt up to date with his dad and Carole.

Sam logged onto this call knowing that they’d already broken up, he got the info from Blaine (since they’re besties). Unlike last time, Sam isn’t able to easily take a day few days off to fly to New York for Kurt. Things at school are ramping up and he’s been needing to work longer hours. So all that he can do is give his support through the computer screen. They stay up all night talking about anything and everything.

Kurt is trying to skate around the topic of the breakup, but he knows that he has to mention it at least once that night. Before the call ends, Kurt let’s Sam know how he’s doing with it all. He tells Sam that it’s painful knowing that the man that you love isn’t the man that you will marry. Sam knows exactly know he’s feeling, as he felt the same way about Mercedes. They fall asleep while on call, Kurt wakes up first and smiles at the sight of Sam’s sleeping face.

#holy crap this got long #asks #greyhound30 #hevans

[earths-roots-grow-up]

Headcanons on Russia’s and Prussia’s relationship with France.

Russia:

I think that in the XVIII century a large chunk of Europe had a crush on France. French culture was widespread among European courts and the language was being used to communicate in a similar manner English is used today. Frenchness was just very IN at that time.

Those countries included Russia. At that time Peter the Great was westernizing his country, and injecting French-ness into Russian lives was a part of this process - Versailles and the French court impressed Peter immensely when he went to visit France and when he came back home, he began emulating many things he observed in the western country. Language, customs, widespread mirrors everywhere, architecture, gardens. You name it.

High-born Russians would talk to each other in French and give themselves French names. Lets note that French wasn’t the only foreign language that was widespread in Russia, so were others, like German and Latin [mostly used by the academia.

“(...) of  all  the  languages  which  began  to  have  currency  in  eighteenth-century Russia, it was French that acquired the greatest social, cultural, and political significance,even if it was not always so widely spoken as German“.

The two next generations of Russians grew up within this Francophile culture and viewed it as something natural, from their perspective it was no longer an exotic fashion, just the way thing always were. Therefore, this was something more than just a fleeting fascination that lasted as long as Peter ruled - and had lingering influence on Russian culture.

“The most important stimulus for the development of French-speaking in Russia, though, was the use of French as a court language from around the middle of the reign of Peter’s daughter Elizabeth (1741–61), who had learnt it in childhood from a French lady at her father’s court.“

And so it went on from there: “At the beginning of the nineteenth century, the Russian nobility still preferred French to Russian for everyday use, and were familiar with French authors such as Jean de la Fontaine, George Sand (etc.). The influence of France was equally strong in the area of social and political ideas. Catherine II's interest in the writings of the (french) philosophers of the Enlightenment (...) contributed to the spread of their ideas in Russia during the eighteenth century.” and “ During the nineteenth century, travel in France was considered a form of cultural and intellectual apprenticeship. “.

(source) So the interest in French ideas and culture was strong in the second half of the XVIII century and in the XIX century.

So in other words, Russia had a crush on France - it was a total puppy love mostly based on superficial things, like aesthetic, nice smells and pretty, elegant European opulence but most of all: France was the ideal of what Russia was trying to become, the epicenter of European-ness, the “civilization” and Ivan was in the middle of this lowkey cultural revolution in which he was trying to re-invent himself as a modern, “European” country. So I think this crush was very much one of those "I wanna BE YOU" types of crushes, he was head over heels for what France represented - that’s why this hit so hard.

There was some more personal stuff there too, like France's eloquence, his literature and philosophy. Enter a lot of perfumed love letters! Even when the crush slowly withered away Russia still felt - and feels - strong admiration for France and honestly enjoys his culture a lot.

France himself enjoyed the crush but wasn't really that interested in  reciprocating - as mentioned above, large chunk of Europe was also crushing on him due to his culture just being in fashion, so it's not like Russia himself was standing out. But they did become friends and still have good personal relations with each other. They have a lot of passions in common, such as ballet, art, music, opera, Romanticism etc, so they still enjoy talking about this stuff together. It’s not a Deep friendship where they trust each other, don’t be fooled, they don’t trust one another at all! But they do like hanging out.

I also HC that the way both French and German were important in XVIII century Russia (as cited above: French with greater cultural significance and German more widespread) is representative of him catching feelings for both France and Prussia at this time, tho one of those wasn't just a crush.

Prussia:

My non-canon-approved hot take here is that I don't think him and France were ever friends. The exact opposite of that even.

It's true that Frederick the Great also had this hard-on for the French, and in effect Prussia speaks and writes excellent French. But after Frederick William II took over the throne, he took back all those Francophile preferences and began promoting German literature and language instead - something the educated classes of Prussia were thankful for. So because Russia shared his ruler's fascination with France his interest outlasted Peter the Great and became a more prevalent part of Russian culture for a long time, while Prussia never shared Fredrick’s fascination and therefore it got overturned as soon as the new king sat on the throne.

And that makes sense, bc in general Germans and French weren't very friendly with each other during their history. German- French enmity, also called the hereditary enmity, is an idea introduced in the XIX century, and it states that those two forces are natural enemies due to their inherently different goals and incompatible interests. Due tho this they keep bumping against each other throughout the ages. You can see echos of this sentiment it in the Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, WW1, the Treaty of Versailles, WW2 etc. France was also the country that stood in the strongest opposition to the German Empire being created, so a big issue for Prussia.

It’s important to mention that this German-French enmity was often used as a  propaganda tool for wars and simplified the complex relations between those two groups. Of course it did, even Austrian/Prussian relations weren’t ALWAYS bad, even tho they were called ‘the biggest enemies’ by historians.

It is believed that the enmity ended after WW2 and no longer is a thing. To me that is a pretty great example of Germany taking over the reign and replacing Prussia. Prussian/France relations were bad, but German/France relations are pretty darn good. And it makes sense, because Prussia had different goals than Germany has, and they are very different individuals. I see France and Germany as friends due to their shared work in UE, tho I’m not sure if they would be something more than just work friends.

Anyway, this is Hetalia and not a historical-political deep dive - to me what counts in Hedcanon context is the general feel throughout history: were they generally allies or enemies? Were their interests clashing with one another or were they compatible, most of the time at least? The whole idea behind this “inherited” enmity is that French and German interests were incompatible, so it had to end with a conflict. And they did, many times over. I feel like the importance of the Napoleonic wars especially is often undervalued here - it was a HUGE conflict that would have a lasting impact on their relations, way bigger than the Wars for Austrian Succession, which are often cited as proof of their friendship. But they were an outlier in general Prussian/French relations.

That’s why I think Prussia and France are not, nor ever were friends, they view each other as enemies and dislike each other. Tho during the reign of Old Fritz their relationship was warmer and more amicable than during other periods, considering they actually had similar goals and fought together for a change - mostly because that was convenient for then, not due to some preexisting friendship. But I do like the idea that during this time they had some kind of difficult comradery going for a brief while and there was this fleeting “maybe in another reality we could be friends” vibe.

Due to the bad history, Prussia's dislikes of France can be seen in many small things that irritate him, like he just detests Francis' need to show opulence, his over-the-top rococo aesthetic and cuture-esque fashion sense, hight emotionality drives him bonkers and even the pastel flowery color palettes he often wears irk him. And don’t even get his started on the Revolutions! He’ll talk your ear off.

Tl’Dr: So Prussia and France don't like each other and are generally bitchy and passive-aggressive with one another. Russia and France are friendly and good acquaintances, while not exactly close. Russia just likes him - he still admires a lot of things about French culture, enjoys the language, cuisine, architecture, fashion etc, and used to have a crush on him.

Rusprus take:

Prussia in a confident, self-assured person, but when it comes to France, he can be surprisingly self-conscious. He still remembers that crush Russia used to have on him and WHY he had it -  because of many characteristics that France possesses, but Prussia doesn't. Like being romantic and sentimental, sensitive, emotionaly open, appreciative of beauty, artsy etc. Sometimes Russia finds that cute and endearing, bc it makes him feel wanted, but sometimes it's just... ridiculous.

APH Prussia: What do you wanna watch tonight, Vanka?

APH Russia: Hm... maybe that movie, Marie Antoinette?

APH Prussia: Ugh OF COURSE you wanna ogle HIM!

APH Russia: W... what.

APH Prussia: France! You wanna ogle that cheese-smelling frog-eater!

APH Russia: What... no! Gilya, Gilyushka, Gilynechka! That's absurd, I just want to watch a pretty period drama!

APH Prussia: Don’t you “Gilynechka“ me! And as if that's not enough...

APH Prussia: She was AUSTRIAN

APH Russia: Omg. Kill me now. When you have almost 1000 years of history together then even picking a Netflix show can be a minefield!

Anyway, they end up watching the movie but Prussia roasts everything in frame :D

#aph prussia #aph russia #aph france #hetalia #hws france #hws prussia #hws russia #ruspru #axis powers hetalia #hetalia world series #hetalia headcanons #historical hetalia #ivan braginsky #francis bonnefoy #gilbert beilschmidt #rusprus #rusfra #I feel like those HCs are getting longer and more ranty #and probably more boring #sorry for that! #I honestly dont know why it just gets out of hand #still hope at least one person enjoys them #if so its work it! :) #queque

[cinnamontoastandtears]

thank you for the tags @mithranqueer and @rufusrant vv happy that y’all thought of me haha 💕 (and thanks for the awesome questions @dustino)

have you ever written rpf before, or are the beatles the first you’ve ever done it for?

yeah, no, the beatles are the first and most likely the only rpf thing i’ll ever write. i’ve written fictional character ones before that but they were shitty so the first thing i ever posted was beatles too.

what’s your favorite ship to write and why?

starrison... because it just is, i have really no idea. they have the dynamic of the kind of relationship i want, i guess, (plus majorly awesome side-character energy) so yeah.

easiest beatle to write?

george. his personality is scarily similar to mine, so all i really have to do is think how i’d handle (x) situation.

hardest beatle to write?

paul. which is strange bc every mclennon fic ive ever written is from his perspective lmao. i think it’s hard for me to write him because i don’t actually like him very much and he gets on my nerves.

original era or modern au?

modern, but i can tolerate original if i throw period-typical homophobia in the bin. don’t like writing that.

least favorite pair to write?

mcharrison.. mostly cause they’re just such great friends and ugh, will die for some good mcharrison bromance (writing a fic like that now lmao...)

do you read or write more?

write, sorry to every fic ive ignored, but multi-chapters stress me out so much especially if they already have upwards of like 10,000 words. (very sorry if i’ve ignored your work, it’s really not your fault i promise) if i catch a multi chapter in its first couple updates i’m more inclined to read it. (but yeah, i write way more to the point where i have several almost finished fics in my drive, expect a week soon where i just post them all ahajkdks)

aus or canon compliant?

i mean i guess modern au if that counts? or them as like, anything but musicians because that’s hilarious.

ship you’d like to see more of?

uhhh... lenstarr or lennison (create the content you wish to see)

au/trope you want to see more of?

nothing specific. (but i love drunken confessions and bed-sharing, specifically together)

fanfic trope pet peeve?

ARCHETYPE BEATLES. archetype beatles can fucking kiss my ass. no sweeter-than-sweet ringo, depressed/moody/angry george, way-too-much-of-a-“leader” john, and paul the a) over-the-top drama queen or b) the Most Serious About Music™️. hate those. please be complex :))

prefer to write one shots or multi chaptered fics?

oneshots. but i did just start a multi chapter one you can read here if you’re interested 👀 (it’s sort of crack, idk if that hurts or helps)

on a scale from one to ten, how much has fanfiction taken over your life?

like maybe 6-7. it’s a lot.

do you have an author you look up to?

YES. literally all of them omg. seriously @mithranqueer @measuredoutinyears @dusted-0negin @celeste-fitzgerald @rufusrant @muzaktomyears @blobfishmiffy you all are very cool and i always feel very nervous to talk to you 😌

what’s a fic you can’t get tired of no matter how many times you read?

(time to sift through my bookmarks)

by @measuredoutinyears

a love that’s shining all around here - starrison (literally the first beatles fic in my bookmarks)

because you’re sweet and lovely - starrison (oh my god)

by @mithranqueer

baby, you’re a rich man - starrison (ahhhhhhh them as mob members is crazy and perfect and you know??)

by @blobfishmiffy

beatle toast (but gayer) - lennison (vv accurate for their dynamic)

a push in the right direction - starrison (the obliviousness and denial and the lenstarr bromance = everything)

by @celeste-fitzgerald

if this was a movie - starrison (i think the first time i read this i had to get up it was just so sweet)

by no particular author i know the tumblr url of:

peppermint kisses - mclennon (it’s christmas fluff i mean come on)

drunken lovers. - starrison (what did i say about drunken confessions)

attracts me like no other lover - george/everyone with endgame starrison (not sad but made me cry)

do you have a current fic obsession?

will you be mad if i say my own?

how seriously do you take fic writing?

not as serious as i should maybe, if you measure how much i don’t try and how much i live off of people’s praise :D

tags before the nsfw: ... @muzaktomyears (vv sorry if this is like the third or fourth tag, but y’all already talked about some of my favorites)

do sex positions (top/bottom) effect your enjoyment when reading or writing a fic?

kind of ?? more in the next question

do you have a preference over who’s who at all? if you do, then what are they?

in lieu of the confusing answer i had, here’s the six main ones:

mclennon: top john

starrison: prefer top george but either one is fine

lennison: top george

mcharrison: either way

mcstarr: mostly top ringo, maybe top paul

lenstarr: top ringo

this stems from the deal that if i read a ship and one or another of them is the top the possibility of me being able to picture it another way goes down (like first come, first served sort of)

is there any kind of kink you have to fight back including in every fic?

nor unless you count dirty talk which i always put in there anyway

when do you feel comfortable adding a smut scene in your fic, if it matters to you at all?

i guess in truth, i’ve only written a couple of fics (posted and unposted) with smut in them, and in a decent half of them i used sex to represent a deeper emotional connection rather than, like, because i was horny (but i have like 4 of those too so if you want i could..) /hj

#tags #this was vv fun #the beatles #thank you everyone #sorry i had to make a new post cause

[ivyaugustetc]

hi <3 would it be possible for me to get neil and todd headcanons and do you mind deciding what my relationships with each of them would be? (romantic/platonic)

i’m terrible at describing myself but here it is: i’m an intp, a virgo and a ravenclaw. i go by she/they pronouns. i have a shoulder length wavy hair and naturally it’s black but currently it’s dark brown. oh, i have thick glasses too. i love picnics, old books, knitted sweaters, milky tea, bunnies, classic literature and also period/historical dramas. i specifically listen to classical music and movie soundtracks a lot. (i also have a ton of studying playlists on spotify). i do like writing short stories and poetry but they’re often unfinished/discarded. my friends would see me as a standoffish & sarcastic friend with an old soul but i have always considered myself to be a good listener and a warm person who gets very shy and anxious around new people and would definitely prefer a small group of friends which i stick to all the time. i tend to remember the smallest details about someone. and it’s the hardest for me when it comes to saying no to something even to something that i don’t feel like doing but i’m trying to overcome it!

anyway, thank u so much and i hope you have an amazing day. sending hugs <3

aww all of this is so sweet, i got the perfect welton life for u bestie don't even worry! thank you for sharing that! also i am so so sorry this took so long bestie i am stressed but i'm here and i hope you enjoy!

ship: i'm gonna ship you with my favorite beloved baby todd and make you besties with neil!!

notes:

okay so here we go: i feel like keating would kinda do a version of the improv poetry thing that he did to todd with you, wherein he would see that you have short stories and ask about them. even if you told them they were half-finished or discarded, he would still get you up in front of the class and have you read whatever you've got

and after you stopped he'd be like "well, what happens next?" and you'd tell him that that was where you stopped writing, so you don't have a clue. and he'd be like "of course you do!! this is your story, you've got to know what happens." and then he starts asking you about the fates of certain characters or how the plot lines would continue and you'd just start making stuff up on the spot

but you would keep going. on and on until you've basically written an entire novel in front of the class

and once you've finished, keating is like "well, that sounds like something i'd read."

and the class is kinda staring at you in awe, but who's the most in awe? TODD HECKING ANDERSON.

you just got up in front of the entire class and did what terrifies him the most, and he found himself wishing he could have done what you did

but who seeks you out first? neil flipping perry

he approaches you one day and tells you about the dead poets society (he's discussed this with the other poets of course, and they're chill with it) and invites you to come to a meeting or two

"bring poetry if you've got any. you don't have to read, but i'd like to hear anything you've got."

so you pile together all the poem you've got (they're mostly fragments of ideas, not really finished yet) and even a few short stories just in case you ever got around to showing them

you even decide to bring a few of your old books of poetry and rhyme along with you, just for funzies :)

the meeting starts, and the entire time Todd keeps stealing glances at you, realizing that this is the person from english class who improvised an entire story and holy crap they're kinda pretty aaaaaaahhhhhhhh

the meeting proceeds and you get to read some of your poetry, which is prefaced by the declaration that most are unfinished

but at some points, while you're reading, you find yourself finishing the poems on the spot rather than ending it where the writing stops

most of them don't notice, but Todd can recognize the subtle pauses and hesitations that come with making words up on the spot

the rest of the time you just sit and listen, giving our sweet boy todd enough time to realize that he is head over heels for you omg

from then on, he takes every chance to be close to you, even if it's just small things like taking one step to his left when you're all standing in a group

you get to encouraging each other to write, with you encouraging him to start his poems and him encouraging you to finish them

the decision to date would be quiet and maybe a little awkward at first, but you were already so comfortable with each other that not much changed

lots of sharing sweaters, going on picnics (milky tea included lol), and spending your free time reading classic literature out loud to the other (people reading to each other is SO DIFIJEIOFJIEOWJIO i love it so much)

onto you + neil!

so i feel like he would be the first to recognize todd's crush, but he would respect that todd would rather die than have him say a word to you, so he does what he can (i.e. giving you the idea of writing together, getting all three of you to hang out but mostly letting you and todd do the talking, subtly helping you guys find common interests, etc.)

ultimate wingman neil perry right here

and when you guys do finally decide to date, he is so. fucking. HAPPY.

"i knew it. i knew it! i knew it would happen if i gave it time, and i did, and now look. i love this. i love you. both of you."

on your own though, you and neil would have a great relationship!! you kinda have the same dynamic he has with todd because you're both very similar

he would love hearing your playlists and helping you create more because what else do theatre kids live for if not long and elaborate playlists (not that i'm speaking from experience)

very sweet friendship overall

ugh yeah i love you and todd and neil. so sweet. so wholesome. i hope you think so too <3

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcanons #quinn writes

[in-tua-deep]

tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights” 

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

#tua rewatch #i cannot beliEVE she likes pogo so much #pogo was complicit in the hargreeves abuse no i wont change my mind #i would be more likely to forgive him if he didnt keep mentioning how much reginald loved them #pogo fam dont say that #youre just going to feed luthers daddy issues #more to come #i cannot BELIEVE i forgot five got shot/grazed in the arm by a bullet #he slaps a BANDAID OVER IT #right after i said five is better at woundcare than cha cha with the curling iron #he just #slaps a bandaid on it #not even a big bandaid #that motherfucker

[shinahbee]

December favorites 2020!

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GREETINGS

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 Hello,

 So we have finally reached another year happy 2021! let's all hope this year will be kind to us, as I have mentioned in my previous favorites post, I finished my work term and now will be working on my art more

so please look out for more art coming soon!

also this maybe a little too early to think of but I was thinking of opening an etsy store to sells stickers/ keychains, this was a project that was on my mind for many years actually, but I have never really considered starting it

Please let me know if any of you would be interested if I do start one.

I would also like some ideas as to what type of characters from what show would you like to see merchandise from. I know there are some franchises that are not well known and most people wouldn’t be able to find so much as a fanart of that particular character/show

so if you could all let me know what you’d like to see in the shop I will highly consider it, with that being said I don't have any anime recs this month, mainly cause I was very busy in the month of December and have not watched any dramas or anime in a while,

so just a heads up, that part will not be included this month. The only thing I was watching is bunch of end of the year award shows, so like the drama awards and melon music awards and MAMA awards...haha that seems really boring to discuss so i'll skip that.

My friend and I were discussing and thought that they should rename these music awards as the BTS awards because they won so many lol.

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MANHWA/MANGA/WEBTOONS

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 This section of the favorites is on fire! you don’t even know how far deep the rabbit hole i`ve dug myself into.

I finally was able to save my progress and crawl back up to list a few of my favorites/ updates of the old favorites and a special segment to ones that triggered a raging response due to utter frustration

Let’s start with a review of the manhwa I have read and discussed so far

 Recap:

 1) Whose baby is it? (ongoing)

2) Social temperature (ongoing)

3) Salad days (ongoing)

4) To be or not to be (ongoing)

5) Path to you (completed)

6) Here u are (completed)

7) BJ alex (completed)

8) No way, vampires don't exist (ongoing)

 so some updates on the previous ones that I have listed out so far, with the exception of the completed ones.

 1) Who's baby is it? ; last time I read up to chapter 72 and now they have up to chapter 126 and I have to say so much more has happened in terms of story and relationship development and I especially love the development between

yi yun and his relationship with jinyao, they are acting more and more like a married couple without even knowing it. You see a gradual change within the two of them that shifts from being very comfortably being able to talk about their problems to one another to

physical touches that would make them  both nervous, I don't mean physical in a sexual way...it's not at that point yet, it's just holding hands and being near each other makes them, nervous and as an audience I felt that nervous energy

and it makes as the audience appreciate the development even if it is slow, it becomes more realistic over time.

Needless to say, I am still a giant fan girl of this author and her story and I can't wait to see this week’s chapter

 2) social temp; I said that I have read the novel so I pretty much knows what happened in the new chapters that were just out, this manhwa is updating a little slow so I have to wait to really comment

When they go further, there is a scene soon that will be the turning point of their relationship so I am excited to see that in the manhwa

 3) salad days; There is also a slow development here as well in terms of relationship building, so far they are working on their careers as professionals and dealing with bullying and jealousy from their peers

But it's all part of life so I appreciate that the author included these aspects as an important part of the story and not just focusing on romance alone.

 4) To be or not to be; you'd think a person who had studied Chinese for 8 years would be able to read the raws....nope,LOL

So far the story is going into a good direction so I'm hoping to see how this new development will play out in their relationship

 5) no way vampires don't exist; I have and fanart and long post dedicated to this alone, so please refer to those for more details. I am happy this is updating again and hopefully all of it will be translated in no time for others to enjoy

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Welcome to heaven

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Okay so that is all for the old ones that I have read, I will include updates throughout my favorites now and then if it is still ongoing.

now let's look at some new ones that I have found this month, these are just a few of the ones I selected out to talk about, but I have read much more as I have said and these were the ones that were the most memorable

 1) Unintentional love story- "Wonyoung gets unjustly suspended from work after getting caught up in a corruption scandal. But when he accidentally discovers the chairman's favorite artist Yoon Taejun living under an alias, he is tasked with a tricky new mission. Could this be Wonyoung's chance to get his job back?"

 This is the summary from the licensed lezhin website, and it pretty much sums up the story, it is still ongoing right now so I can only comment on how I feel about it so far.

I really like this story its really straight forward and focuses mainly on the two characters and how their relationship went from business partners to eventual lovers

it has minimal drama and works on moving the relationship buildup between the two main characters and I really appreciate that, it makes me less frustrated, since you know there is always that one a-hole that will never take no for an answer

i will discuss that later for the other ones I plan to discuss. But so far the story is straight forward and cute, and I really like wonyoung he is really adorable. This is a manhwa but not in the form of a webtoon, so it's black and white and read in traditional manga style

if you like a straight forward story and development please give this a read, you will enjoy it.

 2) Karasugaoka Don't Be Shy!! - "Sou Izuhara, the leader of the crime prevention group "VOICE" that protects east Karasugaoka, realizes he's in love with the man he keeps butting heads with and leader of the rival group "Karasukai," Tetsuji Shinba...!?"

 omg finally a manga recommendation? lol. you have no idea how much trouble I had remembering the title of this manga, I didn’t save it into my bookmarks and I usually did that if I was going to talk about it in the favorites.

I went through 5 websites to figure out the name but at least it was found. This story is both comedic and cute and it was a perfect break from the dark stuff I have been reading, I don't believe it has been updated in while so I'm not sure if it will ever be picked up

but there is a decent amount of chapters to get started on. But as the description says that it is a story about two crime prevention group leaders, they look like thugs but they prevent crimes from happening, so like an anti bullying campaign that recruits volunteers. two of the leaders from the largest groups apparently doesn’t get a long

on the surface but one of the leaders Izuhara really in fact admires the other leader Shinba. they start to get along after shiba went to izuharas territory to take care of some suspicious activity on that side and accidentally discovers a whole new side to izuhara due to the fact that he wasn’t wearing his glasses and didn’t know he was talking to shinba

and invited him to hang out together for that day. lol. You probably know the direction this is heading; it all starts from interest in a person right?

anways, I never recommended a  manga yet so this would be a good one to read,it has a balance of a good romantic comedy.  

 3) Semantic Error- "Computer science major Chu Sangwoo is the epitome of an inflexible and strict rule-abiding person. While working on a liberal arts group project with freeloaders who don’t put in any effort, Sangwoo reasonably decides to remove their names from the final presentation. But he didn’t imagine how involved he would become with the person whose study-abroad plans were messed up because of that project. The involved person: the campus star who everyone knows, Department of Design’s Jang Jaeyoung. He has everything from skills, looks, family background and good relationships except for 1 big problem: Chu Sangwoo. What happens when an engineer and an artist whose personalities are like oil and water have to work together? Jang Jaeyoung is like a semantic error in the perfect world of Chu Sangwoo. Will Sangwoo be able to debug this?"

 this has got to be one of the most accurate portrays of an antagonist relationship start off ever, it was really comedic and relatable at the same time, if you are in current group assignments and are or have suffered the same as sangwoo, please let me know cause I know I have.lol.

there’s only 16 chapters so far and I believe it hasn’t been updated in a while either so I don’t know if it is discontinued or not.

I can't wait to see the development between the two male leads, because their relationship right now in the manhwa is really hilarious and worth the read.

side note, not that this will ever be considered as a k-drama but I would like to see sangwoo being played by kim soo hyun, because he looks like him in the drama it's okay not to be okay.

 4) Tied up in twins- " The story starts off with three friends Jiwoo, sohee and woojung who had been friends since high school began to developed complicated feeling towards one another, woojung had been in love with sohee and sohee had been in love with jiwoo who was in love with woojung, things turned for the worse when jiwoo got drunk one night out and decided to confess his feelings to woojung by going to his apartment, he found 'woojung' standing outside and invited him to go drinking, he finally was able to let out his feelings and 'woojung ' accepted them without hesitation. Jiwoo felt like he was on cloud nine at the moment and slept with 'woojung' that night after thier feelings were made mutual. Turns out 'woojung ' was not actually woojung himself but his twin brother sarang, not knowing this fact he spots sarang with a man from his past eunji that used to bully him during his military service which made him confused and angry that 'woojung ' might be playing with his feelings. Sarang then confessed that he is the twin brother  of woojung and both of them decided that that night was a mistake and that they should just forget about it as it didn't happen. Of course fate had other plans as they keep running into each other during difficult times and decided to become friends. It didn't take them long to be attracted to one another which lead them to end their previous relationship, sarang especially was suffering from his cheating boy friend's abuse and jiwoo with his one sided feelings for woojung. After a series of events sarang and jiwoo found that their feeling for each other were mutual and started to dating, which poses a lot more obstacles than either of the two had bargained for...."

 This is actually my very own summary since I can't find one for this manhwa, I also did and fanart and discussed why i really like this story in that fanart, so please check out my art for my thoughts on it! Shameless self promo....

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Welcome to hell

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ooo now it's time for the fun part.LOL. Now let me just say that there is sometimes a fine line that defines what shounen ai and Yaoi are, sometimes stories is listed as both because one story that starts off like shounen ai will suddenly become yaoi

I define yaoi as a story that includes all the things that i'm uncomfortable with, which is emotional trauma from sexual abuse, sexual harassment and rape, physical abuse, suicide etc

 these stories usually include some or all of the listed above and could make you uncomfortable in many ways, so as a warning if you are bothered by any of that even a little please don't read the ones I’m about to list, because there is a lot of it and there are situations that made me really sick while reading them. on the upside there is a lot of whole heartedness from the love scenes between the two main characters, although it’s like pages of sex scenes, you know from reading that it is between two people that love and trust each other.

 so you have been warned, i'm not going to spoil it in terms of story but there is something these ones i chose out have in common and that is a SICK A-HOLE THAT EVERY PERSON WANTS TO KILL.You should have seen all those comments about calling sangwoo (killing stalking) to kill theses mofos and I could agree more, these disgusting human beings made me sick.

 so let's begin...btw these are in no particular order, I was going to list these from the least worthy of dieing to most worthy of dieing but you know in the end they should just all die...lol.

1) My Suha -"A skillful secretary by day and choosy cruiser by night, Suha is a young professional who’s in search of some no-strings-attached action. He hasn’t had much luck lately, though, since a handsome face doesn’t always match what’s in a guy’s pants. This might be why he finds himself wondering about his dreamboat boss, Director Park Jiwoon. But there’s no way he can mix business with pleasure… That is, until Jiwoon and Suha run into each other in the gay bar bathroom."

 so where to begin, um this pretty much includes all those listed above but it mainly focuses on the relationship between jiwoon and Suha, and it is not abusive and very loving in fact,I'm glad that they show the contrast between how suha's previous realtionships don't work out because of his trauma

and how jiwoon despite being an unwanted heir in his grandmother's eyes was able to give love and protection to the person that matters to him the most. So there's this scum bag...I even forgot his name but the red haired dude in this story he`s the legitimate heir to the family, who is the absolute worse and not only sexually abused Suha when they were younger and also emotionally scar both jiwoon and suha

making them feel incapable of being loved. I didn’t get a good feeling form him when he was first introduced and I was right...lol. But at least the comments section was in agreement; let me sum up my feelings in the form of this gif alone...

 you get the point...

I heard it was going to finish soon so hopefully these emotional scars can be resolved and that suha and jiwoon stick together to get through it all. That would be a good ending for them after everything they have been through.You really need to read it in order to under stand why these events happen the way they do but please remember that suha`s inability to feel love stems from the all of his previous relationships not lasting long yes...but started with this red haired mofo. I am never going to let this dude live, let`s just say that.

2) Crash into me- " Seung-chan is stressed. He has enough on his plate with the long hours at work, and now he can’t even get any rest at home! Every night, the lustful moaning and violent banging from the apartment upstairs keeps him awake. Just as he’s at his wits’ end, he chances upon the gorgeous, enigmatic Hyesung outside his building. Surely all those filthy sounds couldn’t be coming from such a pretty mouth? But as Seung-chan soon finds out, there’s a lot more to Hyesung"

 from that little description you’ve probably figured out what’s going on with the neighbour next door keeping seung chan awake right? well no surprise sexual abuse, after hyesung was forced to suffer from a ordeal that wasn't his fault the brother of the person that died made it seem like it was his fault and sexually assaulted him

and so this ongoing sexual abuse progressed for several years which lead hyesung feel like life is meaningless and he should just die, until he locked eyes with seung chan walking back to the apartment and thought of jumping out the window, because he had a strange feeling that seungchan who he has not met before would catch him if he did.

I just almost cried from what I just wrote...to think there’s is some a-hole out there that would drive a person to suicide like that just to satisfy his own needs or whatever...i don't even know cause it’s still ongoing...i don’t think any amount of back story will justify any kind of sympathy for this person..

from what I have read so far it seems so be going ending soon so i hope seungchan and hyesung will be able to get through all this and live in peace because of suengchan, hyesung was able to love again and find his worth and is able to fight for himself and I’m sincerely glad that he had met and trust him whole heartedly.

3) Dine with vampire- "Caught in the clutches of an abusive relationship, Sooin longs to escape. A vampire who finds human blood repulsive, Chi-hwan only drinks the blood of other vampires. When chance brings the two together, Chi-hwan makes Sooin an enticing proposal. Chi-hwan will help Sooin get out of his living hell, and in exchange… Sooin has to let Chihwan drink his blood. Will this proposal change both their lives for the better?”

 y'all don't even get me started on the mofo in this story....I’ve never felt so much rage from staring at a 2D character on my screen, the amount of times I hissed at him...you don't even know

like I have mentioned before ever since my twilight phase I didn’t consume anything vampire related in a while, I don't really care much for the vampire aspect but I guess it's still important over all

once you start the first chapter you will immediately know why I hate the harry potter a-hole in this story..he is despicable and that’s putting it lightly...but you know he doesn’t last long cause vampire tsukiyama (lol, not his name but they look alike) shows up and kills the mofo

and saves sooin who is the person who harry potter had been sexually abusing...to the point where you guessed it, he wanted to die.

chi hwan agrees to grant any wish sooin wanted in exchange for his blood because being vampire by nature he had not been drawn to anyone’s blood for some reason and had only consumed the blood of other vampires.

of course it was a small price to pay for sooin considering all the misery he had gone through. slowly sooin discovered that love was not abusive through the many times chi hwan...lmao i almost called him tsukiyama again...and he had sex, he discovered that it was safe and gentle and enjoyable

nothing that he had ever felt before, and so they became drawn to each other more than they thought they would to the point where they genuinely care for one another, though of course chi hwan knows that one day sooin will die and he will have to live on forever alone, thus the fate of his vampire blood.

 but here’s the catch..it's not a spoiler really cause you knew it was too easy when main villain dies in chapter 4...and he’s on the front cover...which means yes harry potter mofo is back...ugh...he should have burned his body...WTF and as a vampire no less..

i'm like great now look what happened, you should have chopped him up and threw him into the incinerator!

you know that saying " mistakes were made..."

anyways, now he's back meaning shits about to do down and i'm not ready to see it happen, right now they are going through his back story and i’m like sorry author...whatever you try to feed me there’s no way i can have any sympathy for this dick...

 so that's all i'm going to rant about for these yaoi titles...i had to go back and read some it again to know what i'm going to write about and i revisited a lot of things i’d rather not.I think the rage I felt was ignited again all of a sudden and I felt utter frustration to finish reading it again, what I am trying to say is, ya`ll need to read this once and that`s it...these aren`t stories you`d want to revisit.lol

so if you like this hell segment let me know and i'll continue it cause there’s an endless supply of content for this genre, I have a few more but i'll save those for next month.

and i'll probably come across more in the mean time to discuss, but I guess this is where fiction and reality divides, cause you know in real life if this crap exists absolutely no one will take this bull crap!

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MUSIC

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 I have been listening to the Start up soundtrack and found a lot of songs i like from it, I don't like the drama and have not finished it, but the soundtrack is bomb

I have also been liking some old pop songs and went down the rabbit hole of 90`s pop songs...Britney spears especially

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 so that is all I have for this month, I'm sorry its manhwa and manga focused, i'll have time to watch anime that I need to catch up on and start some drams now so i'll have more

to discuss in the next month hopefully, so please take care of your selves in the new year as well!

take care,

sheena

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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INSTAGRAM: shinb_art

TUMBLR: shinahbee

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#monthly favorites #shounen ai #yaoi #manga review #manhwa review #manhwa #manga #my suha #dine with a vampire #crash into me #karasugaoka don`t be shy #tied up in twins #unintentional love story #korean manhwa #anime and manga #semantic error #manga recommendation