#i love my identity as aroace. but like

[plushiehamuko]

being aroace is crazy bc sometimes it's like. whoo yay i have such a wider perception of relationships that's so cool yay!!! and sometimes it's like. i hate this it sucks

#squishy talks too much #i love my identity as aroace. but like #i am tired of being misunderstood #i wish i didn't have to go on social media and see people saying aroace identities and relationships aren't real #i wish i didn't have to go on aroace posts and see allo people say shit that is just straight up insensitive in the comments lol #i wish i didn't have to simplify my identity when people i don't know well enough ask bc they're not gonna understand if i tell them i'm #aro and a lesbian. sometimes people don't even understand asexual and lesbian #some people don't even know aro and ace are both separate things. some people don't know there is aroace at all #and like i don't mind when they're nice and they're respectful upon me explaining but it's like. can we please acknowledge aroace people #just as a whole. to the point where i don't have to consistently explain even the *very basic basics* to people both queer and not queer #and i wish i never personally had to argue with people about whether my aroaceness is valid or not #like. people have told me my identity and other aroace identities are fake DIRECTLY and DEBATED me on my OWN FEELINGS #like it's fuckin high school english or sum. it's insane #and i wish i could look at the list of Options when it comes to relationships and like #not want to choose 'none of the above but also not nothing in general' #and. i'm just tired #WAIT I FORGOT ONE MORE #i wish people would have aroace hcs for characters that aren't just #The Token Obvious Character To Call Aroace #i wish allo people would see us as more than a few repetitive and tired stereotypes #and i wish close relationships in fiction would be seen in aroace contexts #okay that's seriously it sorry for hater-ing on main

[catsafarithewriter]

v tired of coming out to ppl who are familiar and accepting of the aroace term, who then still turn around and say "yeah but you might still one day meet someone, right?" like I promise you most aspec ppl are aware it's an option, but it's still rude

I get you're trying to be supportive, but it still comes off as "don't worry, perhaps you're not really aroace/broken"

#work colleague: 'well i didnt find love until i was in my 30s' #okay but you still felt attraction??? you still knew you liked boys and girls from a young age?? #ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #maybe one day i will meet someone! #but there's a good chance any 'romantic' relationship i get into will be more a qpp #you wouldnt go up to a straight girl and go 'perhaps you havent met the right girl yet' #why is it okay to backseat diagnose an aspec's identity? #i am. tired

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

#like imagine if i asked you ab your fav character and then i said i hated them and proceeded to insult them #wouldn't that irritate you even just a bit and maybe even come to their defense? #like why would you be offended when they're not even real lmaoo #they're fictional and won't get offended but if you love that character then YOU might feel offended and maybe even defend them #ok now take that situation and put it into this context #except it's much more meaningful bc it's about representation #just a random thought #i'm not against shipping him or finding him attractive (bc same LMAO) or the fanart btw #i just hate it when people use bs excuses to justify their obvious dismissal & indifference towards aro/ace rep #like at least acknowledge his identity :(( #sorry for the long ass rant and if some parts don't make sense i'm not in the best mood rn lol #and i've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while #didn't know double standards were a thing when it came to representation.... #but here we are #alastor #aroace alastor #aroace #asexual #aromantic #asexuality #aromanticism #arospec #aspec #alastor hazbin hotel #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #aroacespec #queer

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Fallen Thorns

dark urban fantasy coming-of-age

follows a boy settling into university, when after a date (that he didn’t even want to go on) turns bad he’s made into a vampire

as he settles into his new existence and the local vampire community - while they try to find who’s been leaving bodies across the city - he discovers that there’s something different and darker within him

aroace neurodivergent MC

#fallen thorns #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #I enjoyed this a lot! #there's definitely things I want to know more about...I think it's going to be a series? the only thing explicitly mentioned is a prequel #the ending is a bit weird and I don't entirely get the sun/star/moon stuff dfhgd #really great characters and atmosphere #great aroace MC in general tho minor pet peeve from me: #it does have that thing where the character spends half the book ruminating about how there’s something wrong with them bc they don't feel #things everyone else does etc etc and it’s like omg all these queer people and nobody’s heard about asexuality??? #then he’s having a conversation with someone later in the book and he’s like yeah I know about asexual but I didn’t think about that re: me #and the other char is like: what if…..it IS you…..and he’s like omg. i AM asexual there’s nothing wrong with me after all! (in like. a page #like I’ve read this in multiple books LMAO. I do get that you can know about an identity and not connect it to your experiences #but somehow the writing of it like this is never quite believable? too sudden? then it's not thought about much after that? #anyway that's not a critique of the ''representation'' as much as just the writing I think - there's a few areas where I thought the writin #could be improved structurally or whatever. Didn't massively impede my enjoyment. #(I do also love an aroace mentor/parent figure!) #aromantic #aroace books #aromantic books

[paronymph]

they should create a new word for yearning specifically about aros and/or aces yearning because there is nothing that exists that comes close to expressing what we feel.

#aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #aroace #it's just. #i love my identity and all #but it's hard to survive in this allo world #without wanting and yearning something that apparently everyone else gets to feel #sometimes you just want to vent about the unfairness but all you can do is blog on tumblr dot com #romantic love sounds so special and magical and im aware it's probably not like that #but even the swooping crushes and honeymoon phases just sound unreal to me and i wish it wasnt like that #yes obv being aro/ace is a spectrum and many of us can feel romantic love #but this is for those like me who just. cant.

[fr33sh00tr]

that "are we friends in every universe" thing from tiktok but with all the complicated forms my platonic love manifests for people that i dont have a name for

#oh boy. how do i even tag this. #okay. starting from the top: #batman #tim drake #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #tenth doctor #donna noble #solid snake #raiden mgs #diana burnwood #agent 47 #xigbar #oc: xeva #deacon fo4 #sole survivor #my doodles #my aroace + autistic identities make it really difficult to describe my love for other people #like if i had to name how important my friends are to me it would fall somewhere along the lines of ''saved my life'' #but even that doesnt capture the enormity of it. anyway rant OVER #doodles

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

No audio fiction podcast has it all;

Produced by and starring POC

Has Aroace/non sam Ace/non sam aro MCs

Has trans MCs(trans man trans woman, nonbinary/gendeequeer idc)

Has little to no romance and focus on platonic or hostile non-romantic relationships

It's sci-fi or fantasy, with horror elements(especially body & cosmic horror)

Not too long (like i can't deal with 100+ 2hr+ episodes lol)

This post is brought to you by my love for the The Silt Verses. Which is damn near perfect for me, such a shame the lack of POC(there's to my knowledge only one MC voiced by a POC yet the fandom overwhelming interprets his character as white while HC a character voiced by a white woman as black :/)

#audio fiction #audio drama #podcasts #would very much like the trans character(s) & aroace character(s) to be the same person/people #the silt verses #I'm a poc(black spefically) ace trans/Neutrios and it sucks not really seeing my whole identity represnted anywhere #if a character is ace they'll most likely a white cis woman #if they're a poc they'll be cis #if they're trans their allo #feels bad man :( #also a major reason i can't get into those actual play podcast is that THEY ARE TOO DAMN LONG lmao #like one season would be a combined total of 70 hours i can't do that bruh #my ideal fiction podcast length is about 30-50 episodes with each being about 40 minutes long #don't get me wrong i love black Paige but er yall know Hayward is voiced by a Japanese man? #yes VA race and character race don't always line up but like come on know

[frightfully-doll]

I’m so tired of acephobia. So I came on here to say my favorite canon aroace rep, Jake, is having a lovely super cool rad awesome day being aroace

#vent thingy ahead be warned lol: #so #Jake is my number one favorite surv #and!! #i constantly reread his lore because it means a lot to me and my identity #and I feel like it’s very acephobic that many people state that it’s not canon even thought it literally is right there #in front of our FACES #unfortunately #the dbd fan base on Reddit is incredibly h*mophobjc and acephobic #so I came here to share this #I LOVE YOU AROACE KING JAKE

[stardustdiiving]

Suddenly cursed with the desire to write out detailed paragraphs about my dozen aro and/or ace headcanons for genshin characters

#fern.txt #I MAY BE OUT OF THE WOODS WITH MY HARDEST MIDTERM BUT I STILL HAVE WORK :/// #genshin #see it’s sometimes hard for genshin chars bc alot of my hcs I notice go hand in hand w chars having trauma #so sometimes I less want to assign them labels n moreso have thoughts on how trauma impacts their #relationship w sexuality or romance #so sometimes I less have a hc and more like an insane introspective concept Abt this character weighing between #aroace identity vs coping and unpacking trauma #so u have a range of like my aroace hc for yoimiya is just bc she probably feels she jsut loves everyone deeply #and doesn’t rlly feel she experiences attraction that stands out compared to this sort of general love for ppl #cynonari are in a demi-aroace sort of relationship where both of them just feel very disinterested sbt romance n sex #but bc they have such a deep bond with e/o #they’re just more comfortable with kind of having some sort of relationship/dictation of e/o as a ‘partner’ of sorts #n then I have my collei hcs where I think if u talked to her Abt it #she would say she consciously thinks her relationship w attraction is rlly influenced by her trauma but she takes comfort in IDing as xyz #aro or ace identity bc she thinks it suits her n she’s ok with the fact she handles attraction differently than other ppl #I think her being around tighnari and cyno who she feels understand her experiences helps her a lot) #but then in contrast if I were to write an wanderer fic in line w my ace hcs for him #it would honestly be more of a narrative of as he has time to process n heal from trauma he moves away from the ace label more #bc I think I’d see him conclude yeah I think alot of my repulsion and detachment from attraction comes from my trauma #and while I still relate to alot of ace experiences I think it might be more helpful and accurate to how I feel #identity wise to try to repair my relationship with it #instead of resonate with the label and idea I don’t have interest in these things nor experience these attractions

[sneak-a-cat]

following someone on tumblr all happy and silly because “huh i like this blog they are funny” or “woahh art” or “ha silly guy” or “fandom hype!!” has the hidden ability of: that person may just follow you back. unprompted. making you mutuals. without warning. most terrifying thing you can do to someone

#i have experienced this twice #katya you scared me when you followed me i didn't know what to do #and now leg bee guy has followed me #scared of u #you talk about the weather and its not even weather in my area but i enjoy seeing it #like i have passive parallel play mutuals #love the guys #but the fear is real #i smell a misclick #but i always expect that when someone follows me #like sir i am just a loser what are you doing in my barbie doll house which i have graffitied and put transformers into #rambles #''sneak the tags are longer than the post'' shhhh its ok shshsh #wayli you are in a mysterious third category of ''we talked about aroace identities pre being mutuals''

[shmaroace]

the label does not have to fit perfectly you just have to be comfortable with it!!!

#a major reminder to the whole aspec community #look i love microlabels as much as the next person but at the same time i love being ambiguous about it #like yeah i don't actually know the full extent of my identity and IT'S OKAY #aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #aroace #aspec

[gimmethemprimals]

Happy pride to my aro/ace dragons/beastclan (This is half of my important/lore characters)

#flight rising #fr #after coming to terms with my identity and decidedly calling myself aroace I started zapping every dragon I had #this is gonna be really funny to the people who Know These Guys #To rattle them off from left to right and then top to bottom: Alatus is aroace and gay and to elaborate he's like #the homosexual equivalent of lacroix (in which the drink tastes like the concept of a lime) #Mydryin is transfem and the lesbian equivalent to Alatus #Nerevar (NOT NAMED AFTER THE ELDER SCROLLS CHARACTER) is also aro/acespec and gay #Phorcys is a transfem aro lesbian #Kaphla is vaguely on the aroace spectrum and the ONE person he fell in love with was someone he was on a mission to kill #and Fenyemi uses she/they pronouns and is... something starting with A

[solsono]

your profile icon genuinely sparks so much joy, it's so fkn cool !

omg thank you!! i love updating my picrew! i especially love having flags in the background! but i wanted more than two, so i had to get creative :)

I adore your profile icon too, the vibes are immaculate :) recently I wore green eyeshadow, similar to what your profile icon has, and it was so fun! I gotta do it more often

#ask #aaa-battery-not-rechargeable #solsono things #i like making my picrew look like me and i gotta update it as my hair keeps growing #also my picrew looks so happy and smiles to reflect how i get lots of joy from my identity #i tried fitting 3 flags in the back #but i couldn’t see all of them if they were vertical #the middle one would be covered #so i had to go diagonal and it’s a fun look! #I love it! #and. like. i could just use the aroace flag and simplify #but purple and green are more of a favorite of mine! #in a perfect scenario i would have the trans aro ace and aroace flag #but that may be going a bit overboard lol #<2

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Tonight I am reminded why I don't go into or follow fandom tags....

#im too sick for this lol #goodness.... #i love how ONE person with a specific set of identities can think that their experiences with those identities #are the ONLY way to experience them #and that fans exploring those identities in other ways automatically makes them bigots #like im sorry my guy (gender neutral) but you don't get to have the only say on how agender aroace rep works #am i thoroughly confused as to why some ships even exist? yeah I am. they don't make sense to me at all #and yes they make me a bit squeamish #but no im not going to do public call out posts about those people and why they're Bad Wrong Awful #in one of the main fandom tags! #because i know better than that #also i cant quite figure out why they insist that the character is exclusively touch adverse #and also aplatonic #but ooookay #fox thoughts #fox vague posts

[everythingdestroyingme]

I will like most women and then like only one type of man.

Kinda soft, quiet, nerdy, fluffy hair, round glasses, sweatshirt/ sweaters, into books, and video games, and the some of the same fandoms at me.

#Bi #my interests do not negate my aroace experience #I can want to be in a relationship #and like an aesthetic of a person #without negating my identity #Boys #girls #I think I might decide to have a crush on him #Not sure yet #He's so much fun #I freaking LOVE talking to him #I hope he never finds my tumblr #💀 #mountain Lily

[dimonds456]

I don't understand people who think headcanoning characters as LBGT is bad or boring.

What, so you're telling me you don't look at them under a microscope and think about their personality and their actions juxtapose with whoever they may date? Hmm?

Like the Jessica Rabbit being ace headcanon is one of my favorites because of the juxtaposition.

You guys telling me you don't want to think about characters in such an intimate way?

anyway every character ever is aspec and if they're not then they're still definitely not straight and probably nonbianry okay thanks bye

#/j for that last one #but yeah #one of my fav parts of fandom is headcanoning characters then comparing them with others #like sans being bisexual gay aro ace or aroace are all fun headcanons and i love them all #he's definitely ace though just sayin #fsdghj #see but that's the fun part #i'm sorry some people can'tunderstand this #you just don't know those characters as well asi do #dimond speaks #lbgt #lbgtqia #lbgtpride #lbgtq rights #lbgt characters #lbgt love #queer identity #headcanon #headcanons #headcannon