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#i love tumblr tags also it’s just me talking to myself…. good stuff
theocoeuur · 8 months
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i was a victim of magic
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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Boy King Seb :D
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#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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seventh-district · 2 days
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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levil0vesyou · 7 months
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Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild
#yes it was the sex poll obvs#given the person is a minor i'm very glad they picked answer one lmao#like i do think minors in general are allowed to want and even have sex (with each other obvs) but when it's a minor i personally follow it#would just make me feel pretty weird lmao. like on a personal level ya feel? i mean when u reach an even closer level it becomes not weird#again like my dear friend ness (17yo) who afaik doesn't actually HAVE any sex but occasionally wants to and i support her hot girl summer.#but as stated this person barely knows i exist i just follow his blog (i used they earlier but this was incorrect but tumblr won't let me e#edit the tag 😔) and he's 16yo so seeing him talk about wanting and/or having sex would have been. uncomfortable. like obvs he'd be allowed#to because my personal discomfort is no indication of morality but you get it. like if my big little cousin (she's 15 now by god the years#don't stop coming) were to talk about sex and stuff to me or within earshot i would ummm. throw myself out the window? but like i'd still t#try to be supportive and if push comes to shove then yes i would give her condoms 😔 cuz like if a minor wants sex i will not be able to sto#stop them lmao but i can at least try and make it somewhat safe y'know#actually i remembered i have literally given a 15yo a condom before lmao she's prolly over 20 now but like as the adult dormmate it was alm#almost like a responsibility y'know like what do you want me to DO?? let her get pregnant?? anyway enough tangent lmao#btw all this is also why in the poll i included 'too young' but didn't specify an age cuz that's individual y'know. some people are p late#bloomers (i was one) while others choose to have consensual sex by 14 y'know. not something i like to think about but that doesn't mean it#won't happen ya feel. i mean what am i the american education system? lmao. so some ppl have interpreted being 17 as too young but there's#also folks like this who clearly consider 16 old enough and that's defo ppl's good right. and again i usually don't mind just the fact that#he in particular is someone i already knew made it uncomfy. but anyway yea back on topic it's very interesting in general when your post#gets big enough to independently make it to ur dash thru a non mutual lmao. love the hellsite honestly where else amirite#personal#mine#ok to rb ig#like the actual body of the post anyway. i'd be pretty uncomfy if said person saw my tags on this cuz y'know it's kind vagueing even if it'#not negative but anyway. anyway#*kinda
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zecoritheweirdone · 2 years
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so..
dream smp superhero/villain aus, am i right
recently(as in, about a few hours ago at the time of first writing this), i just had the sudden urge to just.. write a whole essay about this topic. and like, who am i to not bend to the will of my own mind?
so, strap in, and prepare yourself for me rambling a bunch about how people write plot twists and identity reveals in these kinds of fics(this is gonna be mostly, if not all, positive, if i may add).
(also, quick little disclaimer, for anyone who sees this who doesn’t know of me(which, fair), yes i will be writing in italics the whole time — it’s just a thing i do. just letting y’all know now jandkdndjd.)
now, i’m sure we all know, or at least have heard of the superhero/villain fics, of which there are many, that us dream smp fic writers have latched onto. we all know of the fic that, while may not have invented it, has definitely popularized it — tommyinnit’s unbeatable method. while i myself have never read it fully — got a little bit too crack, for my personal tastes, and pure angst has never been my forte, either (but to each their own, of course!) — i cannot deny the effect it had on this fandom, and i, for one, absolutely love it.
i’m not here to simply talk about the super fics(which is what i shall be calling them from now on, for simplicity's sake) in general, however. no no, here, i want to focus on something specific, something that typically is the main thing that draws one in to this kind of fic.
that is to say, as i’m sure you already know if you’ve read the intro.. the identity reveal, as well as just plot twists in general.
now, i could really have used any sort of fandom to use as an example here, but the dream smp is the first fandom that comes to my mind when i think about this — plus, well, dsmp fics are the only kind of fics i’ve been reading recently, so.. haha, yeah.
so, let’s get this straight, right out of the bat — it’s incredibly obvious to a reader who exactly the supposedly hidden identities are supposed to be. most fic writers, and do note i say this with love, i promise; are not all that great with coming up with original names. when i read a fic, i know that siren is wilbur, that the blade/blood god is techno, and that the angel of death is philza. and while those are the most common names to see, there are more that alert one to their true identities, as well: orpheus, whippoorwill, jubilee, zepherus, crowfather..
(dude i looked so hard(not really) to find other common names ppl use for techno but i could not find any.. either they use blade/blood god or they’re using a unique name or something else that isn’t used much by people.. in which case kudos for them.)
that isn’t to say that most official superhero media have great names, though. i mean.. captain america? ironman? spider-man? batman? whole lot of blank-man’s..
but, well.. for the people who know the characters well(which, well.. if you’re reading the fic, chances are, you’re gonna know the characters), it’s pretty obvious who’s who from the get-go.
but..
that isn’t really.. the point of these fics.
while it isn’t unwelcome to be in the dark about certain people’s identities(or at the least, have semi-original names),, that’s not the point.
the point is to see how all the characters interact with each other.
and.. it’s to see how they react to the reveal.
because, while the reader may know who the character’s real identities, the characters themselves don’t. and that, folks, that’s why most of you lot read them.
if not because of their names, then the summary often clues you in on what exactly you’re reading — that is, typically, an identity reveal between either a civilian or vigilante tommy, and a hero or villain trio of techno, phil, and wilbur; with some sort of extra spice thrown in to make it unique. what that is can vary, either tommy and gang are some sort of experiments, or are otherwise wanted by a not-so-good group, or maybe a different, just-as-good(that is to say, not as good) group is causing mayhem, and everyone around them has to pick up the pieces while keeping secrets locked tight. maybe nothing is as it seems at first glance, or maybe tommy is a kid with a power who heals the wrong(or right) person.
there are a ton of ways you can take this to keep it from going stale — and even if a fic is just like those that come before it, well.. two cakes is always better than one, you know?
brief fic plugging aside, and to reiterate a previous point.. it’s the characters’ reactions that drive a fic forward, not just their secrets.
a great example of this in a popular media is in this show, i don’t know if you all would have heard of it, it’s called, uh.. lemme think real quick...... oh yes, the owl house.
jokes aside, the owl house does provide a wonderful example of what exactly i’m talking about. major spoilers for the show for the next few paragraphs, for those who haven’t watched it — which, i highly recommend doing so, for it is very good. the start is a bit weak, i will admit, but the rest of the show absolutely makes up for it. definitely gets better halfway through the first season, if not a bit earlier than that.
(warning this went of for way too long,, woops djndkdjd)
now — and forgive me if i get a couple details wrong, it’s been a hot second since i’ve seen the earlier episodes — in season two, luz, with amity’s help, comes across a book, one written by a human who was previously trapped in the demon realm, just like luz is currently — you know, after she destroyed the only portal door they had to keep belos, the show’s main antagonist, from getting his hands on it. and apparently, he was building a portal door to the human realm — and was presumably successful.
so over the next few episodes, they build up this human, named phillip wittebane, as a fairly nice and smart guy. mans is just trying to get home, you know? and as luz reads the book, she begins to idolize phillip a bit. she follows his instructions, and eventually, she manages to rebuild the portal.
it uh, fails.. but that’s a story for another day.
she goes back to the book, and finds out phillip needed to go consult this being called the collector — who is important but not to this essay — and luz assumes he needed to find him to help with the portal.
with help from her aunt, lilith, she manages to go back in time(don’t ask how that’s not important), and find phillip. they team up, and adventure to find this macguffin that’s used to summon the collector.
good news! they find the macguffin.
bad news? uh.. phillip, isn’t quite as nice as was first believed. in fact, he happily tries to sacrifice his new companions in order to get away with the macguffin.
the two manage to get away, and end up confronting phillip once more — which ends with lilith punching phillip in the face, hell yeah girl!
but once they return to their own time, well.. the show cuts back to phillip, and..
it’s revealed that he’s belos, who is, if i may reiterate, the show’s main antagonist.
fans theorized about this for a while now, but this was the first time it was confirmed.
but folks, we’re not done with the owl house talk yet!! (i promise this is relevant okay the toh talk will be over soon).
so, it was revealed to the audience that phillip was belos..
but the cast, all they know is that phillip is a bitch. for all they know, phillip was a human, and belos is a witch.
but this all changes when the episode hollow mind airs.
luz and hunter — the golden guard, belos’ right hand, and supposedly his nephew — end up traveling into belos’ mind(again don’t ask it’s not important).
they end up falling deeper into his mind, and find out all the terrible things belos has done(which absolutely crushes hunter’s mindset, as he was advocating for his uncle earlier, poor kid) — launch an attack on a witch town, claiming it was by wild witches; horrifically kill a bunch of witches with a test version of the sigil system(well, they were still alive when we last saw them, but they were in agony, and i wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up dying a while after), and literally murder his own fucking brother.
and if that wasn’t enough, turns out? he cloned said brother. and then had to kill that clone when they fell out of line. rinse and repeat for the next, oh,, four hundred fucking years.
icing on the cake? hunter is a clone — or a grimwalker, as the show calls it. which, in of itself is another great example of the fans knowing something before the characters, but if i touched in it deeper this section would be longer, and y’all probably came here for the dsmp talk,, jdnkdmidj.
anyway, luz ends up getting confronted by belos — or rather, inner belos, but if you haven’t seen the show you don’t need to worry about the difference — and this.. this is where he reveals his true identity to luz.
and were this a lesser show, this would probably be very underwhelming for fans. like, c’mon, dude, we already knew that, give us something new.
but, again.. this wasn’t a reveal for the fans. this was for the characters.
and by god, did they deliver on that.
luz, who was already kicking herself for idolizing the prick that was phillip, now has to deal with the fact that, not only was she idolizing belos, albeit his past self, but she also helped him.
so, all this to say.. plot twists don’t need to be a surprise to have a reaction.
now, i just accidentally made like half of this essay so far about owl house, which, in a thing that’s supposed to be for, well.. you know, not the owl house.. probably not a good thing?
so, well.. how about i spend the rest of this time talking about a fic that i believe handles plot twists really well — that is, both ones that a surprise to the audience, and ones that aren’t.
let’s talk about.. tommyinnit’s services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds by scorpionoesit.
that’s right, folks, this whole post was secretly an advertisement for vagabonds this whole time!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! YOU WERE FOOOOOOOOOOOOLED.
[coughs].
anyway.
in my opinion, vagabonds perfectly handles both types of twists.
for those who haven’t read it before, the TLDR of the fic is that tommy is just.. some guy, who ends up helping all sorts of people, be that civilians, vigilantes, the mafia.. even villains and heroes.
granted, we haven’t seen the latter two yet, but it’s only a matter of time!
and usually, these sorts of fics would have tommy have some sort of healing powers, like tommyinnit’s clinic for supervillans by bonesandthebees, which i linked earlier. but.. this fic doesn’t do that.
that isn’t to say fics that do have him use healing powers aren’t good — for one, have you seen tommyinnit’s clinic, or like- literally any other fic like it? and two, the last thing i want to do is talk down in writers for using tropes, even if they seem overused. once again, i’d like to bring attention to the two cakes theory.
but, i do have to admit.. it is refreshing.
i could explain his power, but tommy puts it together better than anyone could, over in the second chapter. the tldr of it, though, is information. which.. doesn’t sound all that good, until you see what he can get up to in the fic. i won’t spoil much(i say, knowing i’m going to spoil so many other things),, so if you’re really interested in knowing, and haven’t already, i’d say check out the fic!
and, just to state again, i’m gonna be going over some things that are spoilers for the fic, so either go and read the fic, or proceed with caution. and if you’ve already read the fic before, hell yeah!! take a peanut butter cookie.
now, as i’ve said before, there are some things — mainly characters — in this fic that are pretty obvious to a dream smp fan — which, as stated before, is not a bad thing.
there’s the vigilante orion, who’s stated to have a “large red cape” and a boar skull — who you can immediately pin down as techno from that description alone. and then, when tommy mentions a protégé of orion’s, who just know he’s talking about ranboo(technosensei for the winnnnn).
then we have masquerade, who, if not from his name(presumably being a reference to one of the tftsmp episodes), or his power(semi-time travel and portals), then by his outfit, we can say safely that he’s karl.
the hero marauder, even if you haven’t seen that name used for her before, is also pretty clear to be puffy, seeing that she’s stated to be dream’s mother.
and the author isn’t hiding their identities, either — in fact, they want you to know. because trust me, you’ll know when they’re attempting to hide it. or, well.. not quite hide it, but they aren’t giving any obvious clues, either.
jägerbomb is a villain that hasn’t shown up much, beyond a few mentions here or there, but even his identity can be found, if you know where to look. there’s the fact that jägerbomb is a type of cocktail, and the fact that, apparently, his power causes him to not be liked a lot by micheal(who, for those who don’t know, uh.. doesn’t have good parents, to say the least). all this to say, well.. there’s only one person in the dream smp that’s so obviously connected to alcohol. jschlatt.
schlatt, though, even through his minor appearances, can still be found out(unless we’re wrong but like.. [points at the villain jschlatt tag] we’re.. probably not). but, what if there’s a person who isn’t so obvious?
enter, geyser. or, sewage boy, as he’s more commonly known as.
at first glance, especially at the latter name, you’d probably think, like.. they’re charlie, right? which.. sounds plausible, until you take into account their power. manipulation of water — or, more specifically,, steam. which, well.. probably not charlie, then? especially considering he shows up later in chapter three, with.. you know, not steam powers.
when looking into at sewage boy’s identity by focusing purely on their powers, there’s.. not many people you could pin to them. maybe foolish, but, if anything, he’d be related to water, not steam. boomer, mayhaps? i don’t know much about him, but he’s like, some frog guy, right? again, still related to water, not steam. and while this fic was first posted a bit after he joined, i can only assume that it was planned out beforehand, so.. again, probably not him.
again, looking purely at their steam powers, or their name,, doesn’t really reveal anything about their identity.
but.. if you look deeper.. it can be done.
looking at their powers at the surface, as i’ve said before, doesn’t help much. but.. their powers isn’t just steam — or, well.. it is, but they can do more than just control steam.
specifically, in the fic, it’s said that they can, and i quote..
“..turn all the surrounding water...into steam so fast that the steam so fast that the expanding pressure could and would rupture every pipe in the vicinity with an explosion powerful enough to level every building in the area.”
and, i should mention, just a few paragraphs before that quote, he’s said to wear a trench coat.
folks, is there any sort of character that comes to mind when you think of explosions and trench coats?
that’s right, the one and only wilbur soot.
now, personally, when i first saw this theory, i shot it down real quick. knowing what we know about him and his son, fundy, back when chapter two first came out(which is it’s own can of worms), i thought it didn’t make too much sense. if wilbur wanted to protect fundy, yeah, i could see him being a villain, but.. wouldn’t it make more sense to just.. lay low?
but.. then i saw more and more evidence leaning towards it. the first two things i mentioned, as well as the fact that he is absolutely down to murder a kid because he might threaten his son’s safety — something i assume someone who is willing to become a villain would do.
plus, well.. all we know about wilbur’s power is that he needs to charge it, which.. makes sense if he needs to summon steam to use in a fight.
and then there’s the fact that both wilbur and fundy are a bit weird about sewage boy — specifically when wilbur finds out tommy and tubbo went to fight between orion and sewage boy.
“But the Lower is dangerous, Niki,” Wilbur argued. He glanced at Fundy for a second before continuing. “There was a massive villain attack just down the street last week!”
Fundy glared at him instantly. “Really, Dad? That’s your argument?”
“That attack was a major outlier, dude,” Tommy argued. “Besides, I was there, and I got away literally without a scratch.”
...
“You were what?” Wilbur yelped, at the same time Fundy yelled, “Wait, you guys actually went?!”
Tommy turned to Fundy, confused. “Yeah? We said we were going as we left, we weren’t exactly hiding it.”
Wilbur turned Fundy. “Why didn’t you stop them?”
Fundy turned a fierce glare on his dad. “I’m sorry, I was a little busy freaking out over why the fuck Sewage Boy was in the Lower.”
...
Wilbur suddenly looked sheepish. “F-Fair point.”
so.. yeah, i am definitely on the side of sewage boy = wilbur soot now.
(also there’s the fact that villain wilbur is literally in the tags but shhhhhh this is the more fun way)
all this to say, well.. uhh. something something plot twists.
okay i’ll be honest this deviated a little bit from my original point but uh. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
and all of that,, is just the stuff from the first two chapters. and it’s not even everything there is. we’ve got tubbo’s stuff, i’ve only kind of mentioned ranboo, micheal is lovely, clementine is the best character, tommy’s got a whole thing, and.. [gestures at fundy] yeah.
and then there’s the stuff in the third chapter. this fic isn’t even done yet we’re not even halfway done yet.
i could go on for so long about this fic. like i didn’t even get into the non-superhero/villain related foreshadowed stuff. eret’s powers,, niki’s connections.. and like, duuuuuude i could ramble so much about the fucking implications of the peanut butter cookies. was thinking about those implications since like the first week of may.
but i’ve rambled for far to long, and at this point it’s only vaguely related to my original point. so i should really wrap this up by now, hahaha.
so, tldr.... the best plot twists and identity reveals aren’t always reliant on the audience being surprised as well, character reactions are important as well; the owl house is a good show, and read vagabonds.
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normspellsman · 1 year
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A Kiss, Perhaps
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pairing: spider socorro x fem!human!reader
genre: fluff
word count: 4.4k+ (😳)
warning(s): just spider + reader being cute idiots in love, spider actually being a lovesick puppy that happily follows you wherever you go, subtle brains x brawn dynamic, the tiniest hint of suggestive content (?), first kiss trope, slightest mention of making out, & getting caught (oop-)
taglist: @aonungsmate @universal-s1ut @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @optimisticblazetrash @arminsgfloll @amortencjja @dearstell @liyahsocorro @chshshhshshshshshshs @goodiesinthecloset21 @sweetirilly @blushhpeachh @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic
word bank: ikran — winged creatures used for flying + hunting
note: set before the events of atwow! i keep overdoing myself with these 4k+ fics 😭 but anything for you guys <3 there’s nearly not enough spider fics on this app. give my boy some love T-T! also, tumblr’s being weird & not letting me tag some people on the posts so i’ll try to tag those with a line through their user in the comments.
You loved spending time outside in the forests of Pandora, soaking in everything you saw. You spent more time out of the lab than in it most days.
Spider even joined you at times, trailing behind you like a lost puppy. You probably knew the forest better than the boy, even with his frequent associations with the Sully children. You practically never left the beautiful scenery and spent too many hours exploring every little thing you could. So, he found it best to follow your lead whenever he tagged along on your journeys.
Norm liked to say that you were a lot like Grace Augustine in some ways. Always wanting to analyze and study every single plant you came into contact with. Always too caught up in admiring the beauty and wonder that Pandora provided. Of course you never met the woman but you saw plenty of her video recordings with Kiri and on your alone time. You could say that the two of you had similarities but none that were too significant.
You knew almost every inch of forestry on the moon-planet. Almost.
There was this one place that Spider had stumbled upon many years ago after running around with Lo’ak. It was his little hideout spot whenever he needed time to himself or wanted a break from things. He didn’t think about sharing it with anyone else until you mentioned how bored you were one night, complaining about how you practically seen every inch of the forest and that there was nothing else to see. You loved everything you saw on Pandora but missed the first time admiration one held whenever they saw something they had never seen before.
Spider wasn’t exactly sure if you had already scoped out his little getaway spot but nonetheless, he still wanted to share it with you.
“I don’t think you’ve been to this place though,” Spider speaks up one day, pulling your attention away from whatever you were studying underneath the microscope.
The teen also often offered his company to you whenever you were in the lab doing whatever scientists did. He liked spending time with you, even if you were too caught up in doing sciencey stuff that he had absolutely no clue about.
“What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.
A shit eating grin stretched itself onto Spider’s lips. Good, he thought, she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
“You said that you’ve seen every inch of the forest,” he replied, twirling a pipette in between his calloused fingers, “but, I’m sure you haven’t seen my hideout.”.
Curiosity sparkled in your eyes, back straightening in attention.
“What does it look like?” You asked, genuinely excited about the secret place Spider had kept from you for whoever knows how long.
Spider had you right where he wanted you. Like a prey in his web. There was no way that he was going to give you any details of what it looked like. Where’s the fun in that? He wanted to see the pure, genuine look of amazement on your face when you finally saw the place he was talking about.
“Nuh uh,” Spider tsked, poking your cheek with the pipette, “I am not falling for that. You’ll just have to wait and see tomorrow,” he finished, face inching closer to yours.
Your eyes rolled in annoyance, not pleased with Spider's answer. You at least wanted to know where the spot was or what some of its features looked like, it would help that anxious-excitement feeling that always crawled its way into your stomach whenever you discovered something new.
“Wherever you’re taking me better not be somewhere where I have to climb,” you retorted, slightly pushing back his head with your hand, him snorting in response.
“It’s not that bad. Besides,” he replies, “I can always carry you up there.”.
Spider was ridiculously strong for a human boy his age. The first time you realized it, your stomach twisted in knots. The two of you were play fighting in your early teens when the male managed to pin you down with just one arm, the other slithering in between your bodies as he tickled your stomach. It was in that brief moment that you realized how different and quickly Spider was changing, thanks to puberty.
Just the thought of Spider carrying you up to wherever he had in mind without even breaking a sweat made butterflies erupt in your stomach. You began to wonder how his toned arms would feel around your body or how his tense back would feel against your front as it flexed due to his climbing. (Your mouth began to water a little at the thought. Oh how you wished he would just pull you into his embrace and hold you so you could feel the flexing of his muscles as he did so.)
You quickly scoffed the thought away, shaking your head at the dirty blondes' response. He very obviously took pride in his strength and the fact that he could most definitely carry you anywhere without much difficulty.
“Sure you could, Spider,” you added, your eyes squinting a little at the boy in front of you, unplugging and turning off the microscope you were using.
Spider smirked at your response, tossing the pipette to the side as he saw that you were getting ready to clean up, signaling that you were done for the day and we’re going to head off to bed.
“Night, beautiful,” Spider whispered, ruffling your hair a bit before he turned and left the lab you were occupying.
“G’night,” you replied, pink dusting your cheeks in reaction to the nickname he gave you early on into your friendship.
He always called you that. Max had explained to him what the word meant when he overheard Jake call Neytiri that when he was only a child, wondering what it meant. Max told him that he should only ever mean it whenever he called someone it. So he did. You were the only one he called beautiful and probably would be the only one he ever called that and truly meant it.
“Tomorrow, three hours before eclipse,” Spider quickly added, heading peaking through the door of the lab, a smile on his face as he voiced the time he planned on taking you out.
You only hummed out in acknowledgment, shooing him away as you focused on your task of cleaning up your area of the lab.
You really couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
———
“Hurry up, you’re going to make us late,” Spider whined out, sprawled out on your freshly made bed, a ball of yarn in his hands as he tossed it up and down towards the ceiling.
You rolled your eyes at the boy, annoyed at his words. It wasn’t like there was someone else waiting for you at the spot he wanted to take you to.
“We are fine, Spider,” you scoffed out, finishing tying up your shoelaces together besides the teens head as your body was in a seated position. Your hand briefly reached out towards Spider’s knotted locs, messing with them a little before he turned his head to teasingly nip at you, teeth not making contact with your skin. You squealed in response, hurriedly pulling back your hand in order to avoid the boy's sharp teeth.
Spider barked out a laugh at your response, tossing the ball of yarn to the side, softly landing on the floor with a dull thud. Another thing he loved, messing with you. He took great joy in doing it and seeing your reaction.
“Yeah well, the faster you finish getting ready, the faster we’ll be at my spot,” he retorted, pushing himself up to a sitting position, a bored look on his face as he looked at you.
Spider had only been in your room for around fifteen minutes, barging in when you just finished braiding your hair yelling about how long you were taking and how by the time you were done, it’d be sunrise already. He was all ready to go and had been waiting for you for almost thirty minutes before coming into your room unannounced. He usually did, which caused you to throw whatever was closest to you at him, demanding him to get out. You got used to it over the years but still, you needed privacy and sometimes, you felt like you rarely had that around Spider due to his spontaneous barging into your room. You gained the ability to change out of and into your clothes incredibly fast, almost always narrowly missing flashing Spider.
“Okay, okay, I’m all ready,” you responded, hands going up in surrender as you stood up from your spot on the bed, dusting off the back of your thighs and the front of your shorts.
Spider groaned out in relief, hopping off the bed and grabbing your packed bag that was placed by the doorframe, throwing it over his shoulder before grabbing your hand and rushing you out in excitement.
“You’re gonna love it, I swear!”.
———
The both of you had arrived and climbed up to the place Spider had wanted to take you to in an hour and a half. The sun was just at eclipse when you arrived. Spider didn’t hesitate to crouch down a little so you could jump onto his back, legs and arms tightly around his neck and waist before he began the ascent up.
“We’re here,” Spider whispered, slightly out of breath from the exercise. He tapped your thigh twice, signaling that it was safe for you to let go.
The first thing you saw were vines. Lots of them. It covered almost every inch of solid rock, clinging across the surface until your eyes landed on a small opening, the vines dangling over it as the twine and its leaves cloaked the opening. No wonder you never knew of this place. Regardless of it being too high up for you alone to climb, it was very well hidden by the green vines.
It seemed like it was a cave, from what you could see. Peeking past some of the small openings in between the vines, you couldn’t see much light through the gaps. It seemed to be pretty dark and the only light that was getting through was the sunlight that managed to squeeze between the vines.
“You excited?” Spider asked, anxiety settling itself in his stomach. He wanted you to like his secret spot. It was special to him. He didn’t even tell Lo’ak about it and he tells the Na’vi boy practically everything.
“Very,” you replied back, eyes still glued on the intricate weaving of the vines. You tried to imagine what was behind the plant's structure, excitement setting in.
You liked finding new things but this felt different. More personal. Spider told his loved ones almost everything, so you were genuinely surprised when he brought up the fact that he had a secret hideout. And knowing that you were probably the only other person to see and know about this place made it even more special and personal.
“C’mon,” Spider whispered, taking your hand in his as he gently pulled you inside, pushing the vines to the side to make room for the both of you to get through.
It was dark at first, the numerous vines making a dull thud sound as they fell back into place once Spider let them go. But then, small blue dots of light appeared, scattered across the walls and ceiling of the cave, lighting up the space in its dim light. The longer you two walked, the more brighter it seemed to get. The biolomenscient dots got dimmer and dimmer the further you and Spider went, the warm glow of the sunset replacing it.
Another opening made its way into your line of sight, giving you the perfect view of the eclipse and more.
“Holy shit,” you whispered out, hand still grasping Spiders.
The sight before you was absolutely breathtaking. Ikran flew across the setting sun, shrieking in delight as they dipped and dived. The floating mountains were scattered across the sky, thick and large vines connecting them to each other so they didn't drift too far from another. The vibrant colors the setting sun emitted settled across the horizon and danced across the tops of the trees beneath the cliff you and Spider were currently standing on.
Spider smiled at your response, warmth spreading across his body as he came to the conclusion that you were enjoying the sight before you. He felt nervous before, not wanting you to not like where he was taking you. But now, he felt so happy. Happy that you were awestruck and couldn’t tear your eyes off of everything in front of you.
“Like it?” He asked, hand squeezing yours to catch your attention.
“Like it?” You replied, eyes still darting across the beautiful scenery in front of you, “I love it! How come you didn’t take me here earlier?” You pouted at the end.
The boy only chuckled in response. To be honest, he considered this place to be his. Like a little secret. He wasn’t planning on sharing it with anyone. But the more he thought about it and visited the small cave slash cliff hideout, the more he wondered what it’d be like to share this place with you. He was over the moon when you agreed to tag along last night. This was no longer going to be just his spot but the both of yours.
Spider slightly tugged on your hand, guiding you to follow his actions in sitting down, legs dangling over the cliffs edge.
“It’s so beautiful,” you commented, settling yourself next to Spider, hands still intertwined.
The human boy hummed in response, eyes never leaving the side of your face. The setting suns colorful rays reflected off the glass of your mask, highlighting your bright eyes as you continued to gawk at the gorgeous sight in front of you.
To Spider, your beauty could never compare to what was in front of him. He had seen this kind of sunset millions of times before but he always found himself thinking of you whenever he gazed at the eclipse and the colorful horizon. You were truly one of a kind. He always felt special whenever you graced him with your presence. His eyes never left your face whenever the two of you hung out, oftentimes running into things on accident which made me even more flustered once your laugh reached his ears. If he were in a Na’vi body, his tail would be swaying furiously back and forth like a dog excited to see their owner whenever his eyes settled on your figure. You always had a special place in his heart. Which makes this moment even more special.
“Hmm, just like you, beautiful,” he whispered back, nudging your shoulder with his.
A wide toothed smile made its way across your lips, a giggle escaping them as you shook your head at the boy. “Cheesy,” you replied, eyes finally tearing away from the sunset and settling on Spider.
Your breath hitched in your throat when you realized how close the two of you were. Your shoulders were touching and your clasped hands were in Spider's lap, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand. If it weren’t for the masks you had to wear, you most likely would be able to feel each other's breath. Just the thought gave you slight goosebumps.
“Sappy,” Spider agreed, laughing in response to your previous statement. He tended to be overly romantic whenever around you. Albeit he never outwardly voiced his thoughts, he still thought them. You only got a glimpse or two of that side of him, it only being during whenever the two of you were joking around or he was trying to bring your spirits up on a particularly hard day. It never failed to make you feel better or laugh in response.
Your eyes were stuck on Spider's face, glancing from his eyes, to his nose down to his lips, and then back up to his eyes. He was probably the prettiest human boy you’d ever seen, and the only one you’d seen.
“Want to know how I stumbled across this place?” He asked, cheeks reddening at your intense stare.
“Please,” you responded, shifting a bit to face more towards the boy, hands still tightly interlocked.
Spider brightly smiled before starting, glad to be finally sharing this, his place with you.
———
You had stayed out way past curfew, too caught up in the beauty of Pandora to realize just how late you and Spider stayed out.
He had you put yourself on his back again on the way down, your hands returning to grip his shoulders as your legs tightly wrapped around his waist. You found yourself thinking about his muscles and his strength again, making yourself blush at every thought. The fact that you were so tightly pressed up against him and could feel his back muscles twitch and flex as he climbed down didn’t help, at all.
But he too was blushing. There have only been a handful of times where the both of you were in a position like this, so close together. Most of them were when you were children and still needed the comfort of someone else to sleep, Norm often finding the two of you entangled together as you softly snored away in your deep slumber. The other time being when you had a tickle fight and he pinned both of your hands above your head and tortured you with his swift fingers against the sensitive skin of your stomach. Spider almost kissed you that day, if it weren’t for Max’s interruption, telling Spider that Lo’ak was there for him. And the other time being now. It had been so long since he had you this close. Of course you two hugged and had sleepovers whenever you were bored, but even then, you never had your body that close to his and vice versa. Spider could feel the beat of your rapid heart against his back, smirking at how fast it was pumping.
It was nice to have you this close to his body. Especially in this circumstance. He felt like he was protecting you, in a way at least. Spider knew that you didn’t have the type of training he did regarding exploring the expanse of Pandora’s forests. You mostly explored on your own and kept to the forest floor whereas Spider leapt from tree to tree with Lo’ak and climbed whatever he could. And regarding this fact, he knew that you wouldn’t be able to pull yourself up to climb all the way to where he wanted to take you as well as back down. So this was the least he could do. Have you cling to his back as he descended back down to the mossy ground.
The minute your feet touched the floor, you took off sprinting, shouting at Spider to race you back to the lab. Poor boy barely had any time to process it, standing there in shock for a few seconds before quickly following after you, catching up to your figure within minutes.
The boy beat you to the lab even with your head start.
“No fair!” You whined out, huffing and puffing from your sprinting. Damn, you thought to yourself, and to think Spider does this everyday.
“Hmm, sucks to suck I guess,” Spider teased, patting your head as you stood there with your hands on your knees trying to catch your breath. Your mask began to fog up from your ragged breathing.
You playfully slapped Spider’s hand away as you both walked up the stairs to the lab, the boy holding the door open for you as you walked through.
Once the door shut, a hissing sound reached your ears, signaling that the filter was forcing out the Pandora air and replacing it with the air you and the other humans needed to breathe. When the small light above the second door turned green, you quickly discarded your mask and pushed through the secondary door.
“That was so much fun!” You exclaimed, wide smile on your lips as you turned back towards Spider, watching him place both of your masks back onto the small rack they usually reside on.
Warmth spread throughout Spider’s chest at your exclamation, proud that he was able to make you this happy from simply sharing his hideout with you. “I’m glad you had fun,” he replied, a gummy smile spreading onto his lips.
“Thank you so much for taking me! I really enjoyed tonight,” you continued, same smile still plastered on your face.
You felt grateful that Spider wanted to share a place he had found and kept to himself for a while with you. It made you feel special. Really special. You wanted to do something for him that showed your gratefulness. But your mind kept drawing blanks the more you thought about it. It had to be a grand gesture that showed him just how much you appreciated tonight as well as him in general.
Silence settled itself between the two of you, it resting comfortably in the air. Seconds had passed from the last time you spoke, eyes darting around Spider’s painted striped skin, the paint fading from the days excursions. As your eyes settled back onto his face, you realized that he was staring at your lips.
A lightbulb went off in your head. Yes, a kiss would work.
“I am very grateful that you decided to share your hideout with me. I feel honored,” you began, taking a step closer to the boy in front of you, “Is there anything I could do to show my appreciation?”.
Spider gulped at your question, one thing coming to mind. But, the boy only shook his head and shrugged. “It’s alright. I’m just happy to have spent tonight with you,” he replied.
Sappy motherfucker, you laughed to yourself, feeling yourself melt at how sweet Spider was being. You knew that he’d never force you to do anything that you didn’t want to do. Another thing that you loved about him. (Right after his face and muscles, of course.)
You hummed in response, inching closer as you did so. You could practically hear how fast Spider’s heart was beating against his chest, making you slightly smile at how you might be the cause of it.
“I think I have something in mind,” you trailed, straining your neck a bit to look up at the boy as you finally stood chest to chest. A few strands of Spider’s locs fell in front of his face and dangled besides yours, hand going out to tuck it behind one of his ears. The boys knees almost gave out at the movement, stomach twisting in knots and skin beginning to tingle from your gentle graze.
“And w-what could that b-be?” He stuttered, dark blush covering his cheeks. He felt his heart beat even faster as the seconds ticked by, if that was possible.
You smiled up at Spider, right hand coming to gently take his left one. “A kiss, perhaps?” You asked, not expecting him to agree right away.
“You…you w-want to…to k-kiss me?” He shakingly asked, the hand in yours intertwining his fingers between yours. He couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. That you suggested that you both kiss. He’s dreamt of kissing you ever since he saw the couple down his hall kiss when he was younger, Max yet again had to explain the action to him. Ever since he knew that he liked you. Since he knew that you’d be the only one for him as long as he breathed.
You nodded at his question, eyes falling from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. You also dreamt of kissing the boy. You wanted to ever since you saw an Earth movie from the twenty-first century where the two protagonists were lovers. You wanted to experience everything that the two lovers in the movies experienced with Spider. It was something you often caught yourself daydreaming about when you had nothing else better to do.
At your confirmation, Spider gently and delicately cupped your face in his warm and bigger hands, bringing you closer to his lips. There was a sliver of space between your lips and his, the teen boy waiting for something. Spider’s eyes searched yours for hesitancy and when he saw none and received another nod of your head, he pressed his plump lips against yours.
Your left hand went up to his waist to steady yourself, knees nearly giving out on the spot as your brain realized that this was actually happening.
Warmth was the only thing you felt from the kiss as well as adoration and care. You thought the whole fireworks thing was a bit silly whenever a character in a movie talked about it. But this, this was so much better than fireworks. You could feel how much Spider loved and cared for you through a single kiss. Could feel how nervous you made him through his shaky hands and rapid heartbeat. It was much better than fireworks. You felt loved and cared for through your shared kiss. You only hoped that Spider could feel the same things you did from the kiss as well.
The two of you stood there for who knows how long, kissing and pecking each others lips. You only broke away from the kiss two times to inhale more oxygen before you passed out. Spider meanwhile kissed all over your face as you did so, placing gentle kisses against your cheeks, nose, forehead, and chin before slotting his lips against yours again once you filled your lungs with sweet oxygen.
A loud cough erupted from behind you, halting the both of you in your kiss. Fear and anxiety spikes through your system, eyes widening as you slowly turned around to see who caught you and Spider kissing face.
“I don’t want to know,” Max started, arms crossed against his chest as a sleepy expression painted his face, “Just, get to bed. Separately. And if anyone asks, I saw nothing, okay?”.
You swear you never ran to your room so fast in your life, giggling out into the quiet corridors of the lab with Spider trailing behind you. Yeah, sorry Max, but there was no way that either of you were going to bed in your respective rooms tonight. There was too much to talk about and catch up on.
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bengiyo · 4 months
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BL 2023 Review
I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.
I Watched Too Much Again
Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).
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One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.
I Wrote a Lot This Year
I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,
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However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.
Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.
We Started a Podcast!
After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.
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From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes,  The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.
The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.
Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance
Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.
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Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.
Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!
I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.
It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.
Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year
Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:
609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.
A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.
Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?
Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.
Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.
Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?
Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?
Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?
I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.
Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.
Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.
My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).
My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.
Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.
Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.
Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.
Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.
I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.
Korea Put in the Work This Year
I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.
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It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.
Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me
I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.
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As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.
Japan was Busy This Year
I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.
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I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.
Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.
Where Were All the Uncles This Year?
Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?
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Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!
We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.
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Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.
Gay Thoughts
I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.
First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.
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The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.
The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.
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I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.
Final Thoughts
I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.
Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.
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writing-for-life · 18 days
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Right, okay, I’ve thought long and hard whether to write this:
A squick (even a strong one) is not the same as a trigger.
Emotional discomfort, even emotional discomfort that leads to low-level physical symptoms like e.g. mild nausea, is not trauma. Unfortunately, TikTok pop psych has done nothing to help people understand the difference, because the trend to perceive (even strong) emotional discomfort as equivalent to a trauma response is worrying and neither helps people with nor without PTSD. I don’t wish it on anyone to actually find out the difference if they haven’t yet (disclaimer, since this is unfortunately necessary these days because everything gets misconstrued: I am not talking about individual experiences, because only you can know about those. I’m talking about wider trends in an often young audience with not enough background info to be able to tell apart sound medical/psychological info and viral BS created by “influencers” for some kind of personal gain).
What people in the current fandom spat want to have tagged as “triggers” are overwhelmingly squicks. And we’re probably all guilty of quickly saying “that triggered me”, myself included (and I’m a licensed psychotherapist, shame on me). It has become somewhat of a shorthand for “extremely annoyed or grossed out”. But when it gets used in the context of tagging, it’s good to remember that no one owes us a tag list the length of our arm just because we don’t like certain things. Even if we strongly dislike them.
And even on the occasion someone else’s yuck or yum is an actual trigger for us, it is impossible to cover for every possible trigger, because in theory, EVERYTHING has the possibility to trigger someone somewhere.
E.g., a certain smell in a supermarket holds the rare possibility of triggering someone, but do you see disclaimers at the supermarket door that say, “May smell of 484 different things, which are in detail [list of 484 things] and might be different tomorrow. Plus, we might have a customer today who smells of that perfume that brings up your triggering childhood memories. Or maybe we won’t, but just on the odd chance we do, we thought we’d rather cover it”.
There might be one person with a very specific trigger that does literally nothing to the vast majority of people. Do we expect everyone on Tumblr to tag for “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” because of that? How about that person just puts “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” in their content filter instead?
Do we really suggest to put that type of responsibility on creators? More importantly: Who are we protecting that way? All we do is put people into bubble wrap and shift responsibility for our mental wellbeing away from ourselves to others.
We are trying to tell other people what to do for our own comfort. That’s controlling.
If we’re squicked out by something, there is a simple solution: we can stop looking or reading. We can use content (not tag) filters. In the worst case, we can block. We don’t have to put that type of responsibility for our personal sensitivities on creators (or people who reblog, for that matter).
We can tag for certain things as a courtesy, I’m all for it. I love being able to filter out stuff I’m not into, and I sometimes wish people would tag better or not tag a certain way (getting ship tags for a ship you’re not into slapped on your character-metas is annoying 🤣). But I don’t die, neither does it cause me unbearable distress, if I see cows where I don’t expect them. Scroll past or block. And if I’m worried about mature topics like nudity or violence: Tumblr has a community label for mature themes you can (and in my view should) use if in doubt. Funnily enough, many people don’t do that though—maybe because they worry about reach?
Of course we should include content warnings where they are due, no one says we shouldn’t. It’s also fair if a creator doesn’t wish to do that beyond general warnings (no specifics) though because they might give away, say, major plot points that way. In that case, general disclaimers like “contains depictions of violence”, or whatever it might be individually, are a good idea. And if that’s not specific enough for us despite knowing that “violence” in general might also contain our personal trigger, we might need to make the decision not to read it to stay safe, but we shouldn’t have a go at the writer for not tagging very specific things that might be considered spoilers.
Long story short: If we assume people are “triggered” by werewolves with vulvas or non-human characters, it might be worth thinking about whether we’re just talking about squicks that very much fall into the category of “personal responsibility”. And there are plenty solutions to that at our end—we don’t need to put that on creators…
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meruz · 6 months
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Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!
More gushing abt the weekend under the cut
I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....
Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.
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I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING
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luxaofhesperides · 2 months
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Listen. I love the dcxdp crossover. It’s a lot of fun! There’s so much that can be done for this crossover, with all the characters and settings and the many plots that can spring up from them. But as much as I love writing for it and sharing my fics with the community, there’s been a significant uptick in things that are rubbing me the wrong way. Some of these things have to do with canon vs fanon, but others are more about the shifting culture of the community.
(keep in mind that I only see things on Tumblr and am not in any discords, so my experience will be different from others bc I have a more limited experience with the wider community)
(putting it all under a read more bc its long)
Let’s start off with a look at what we’re doing as a group:
Building off of completed fics on tumblr: I always thought the etiquette is to not build off of a completed work without permission. Someone had an idea and executed it, then shared it with us. It should end there. If you want to add to it, contact the author first and see if it’s something they’re fine with; some will say no, some will say yes, some will say yes but be sure to credit them for the original fic. A lot of what I’m seeing is a completed fic gets added on to in a way that completely takes it away from the original idea. Having experienced this myself (on a requested prompt from someone else, no less), I found it kind of rude. Maybe it’s just me, but a completed fic is not a prompt request or something open for building up another story around. It’s already completed. Leave the story as is and let the author know you liked it.
Expecting others to write for you: the prompts are what build this crossover fandom, in my eyes. Prompts are posted and people create something around them, either as a group by adding onto what other people are saying, or as individual fics that one person wrote. Now I’m seeing people throw out prompts that are basically fic outlines, then begging others to write something for it. Like, those prompts are already written! They have very specific details! Why not write it yourself? You’re already halfway there, you can just write the thing you want to see and post it. It’s not about being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at writing, it’s about crafting an idea to share to the world. Why ask others to write it for you when you’ve already practically done it?
But also, you are not owed fic. This might just be general fandom burn out talking, but being a fic author who has been treated like a machine? It sucks. I love writing, but I share what I write because what I wrote made me happy and I wanted to share that with others. I’m not a content creating machine who has to pump out fic after fic for other people’s entertainment. I just want to share what I love and having people pop up in my notifs only going “write more/tag me/sequel?/etc” is tiring. I get that it’s coming from a place of love bc you liked the fic enough to want to see more, but please actually talk about what I’ve already written instead of going “update? More? MORE????”
Hostility to DC canon: I get that DC canon is a mess, but it still is a canon and has a lot of cool stuff! I’m seeing a lot of posts recently about how dpxdc people refuse to engage with the comics, and I need to let yall know that this is not a new thing. DC fans also refuse to engage with the comics (it’s mostly batfam) and it’s very easy to tell who has and who hasnt ready batfam related stuff bc the fanon is incredibly wrong about characterisation and what happened in comics. But that’s for a different post.
I’m seeing both sides of the argument (this is for fun, reading comics isn’t required, don’t like don’t read vs it’s tiring seeing people butcher my favorite characters into ocs with their name/face, I want to share my love for comics but there’s so much pushback, it shouldn’t be weird to expect people engaging with a media to have actually engaged with that media). And I think you should engage with comics! DP is a unique case in which fanon is for the most part better and more interesting than the original show (also death to the author/butch hartman), but DC comics shouldn’t be engaged with in that way. If you like the characters you see in dpxdc, you should read about them in comics! The whole point of a fandom is that you’re a fan of the original media. That’s why you’re engaging with it in this way, writing within the world and characters and canon.
I don’t know how people write for fandoms when they’re not familiar with the source material. I wanted to write dcxdp so I started rewatching DP. I’m reading comics. I want to know the characters and their stories so I can have a foundation to write from, and also to better understand the media so I can share my love for it. The refusal to engage with source material while engaging with its fandom is so strange to me.
Also dc fans who love the comics are great! In my experience, they’re very kind and willing to help you jump into comics! Don’t know where to start? Pick a character or team and follow them! Want a reading guide? We’ve got TONS. want thoughts on a specific character or comic run? Just ask!
Now to more specific points about what I’m seeing in dcxdp works:
Mischaracterized batfam: this is a group of people who are disasters and have complicated relationships with each other. They’re kind, wonderful people who bring out the best and worst in each other. Why is Batman always adopting people. Why is this a running joke with the batfam. I get it being a joke the first few times, but I’ve seen it so often and done like it’s accurate characterization that I just. I can’t. I leave that fic immediately. I can’t do it anymore. Batman is paranoid and tried very hard to keep kids away from him/away from being a vigilante. Unfortunately all the kids he got are stubborn and smart so he was doomed from the beginning.
Superman and Kon: you guys are pretty much only pulling from Young Justice Animated which I think is a terrible adaptation, but that’s my own taste. But seriously. Clark is kind. That’s an important part of his character! He’s the strongest man in the world and he’s kind. He was also dead when Kon first appeared as a experiment from CADMUS in Hawaii. They’re not father-son, but they are family and they do care for each other, once they get to know each other. Also Kon is not an angry broody boy, he’s funny! And annoying! pls read kon comics guys, i promise youll like his actual character
Chronos??? Guys. Chronos is not a god in DC canon. He is in Greek mythology, but in DC he’s a Captain Atom villain and he’s literally just a guy who got obsessed with having perfect timing. He’s themed around clocks. He has nothing to do with time travel or time gods. The Speedforce is Time, basically, and it is not human. It is an eldritch being beyond our comprehension that can eat people. If it chooses to have a human form, it’s going to choose to look like Bart. Please read Flash stuff, it’s interesting!
Lazarus Pit Madness lasts like 5 minutes in canon. Jason having it, and being affected by it for years, is a purely fanon thing from the dc side. Not going to say anything more on this because it goes into Jason Todd discourse.
Repetition: I’m sorry but I’m tired of seeing the same things over and over. I barely see anything out of the dcxdp tags thats new and fun to engage with. Everything is the same variation of “Danny helps Pit Mad Jason”, “Bruce insta-adopts Danny”, “Superman is mean to clones”, etc etc. Think of any popular dcxdp trope and that’s all you’ll see. I get why these are fun and popular, but the way it’s being engaged with now? It literally makes me exit Tumblr and put my phone down.
Not every prompt has to go down the same routes as the other prompts. Please explore more options, branch out, twist those tropes around to do something new with them. And also stop going onto other people’s fics and saying “what about [dcxdp trope]? Cant wait to see [dcxdp trope]! You should have [dcxdp] trope.” If I didn’t include it, it’s not included for a reason. There are hundreds of other fics that write specifically about those exact tropes. Read those, or write your own. (im being super bitter here but please just let me write what i want to write without trying to pull the story into another direction for a trope you like. Im writing for me, but sharing it for you. Not every fic needs those tropes in them.)
Tumblr specific things: this is less about the content and more about general posting etiquette. Please put long posts under a read more. If it’s more then three paragraphs, consider adding a read more if there is significantly MORE than three paragraphs. Tag appropriately. Content warnings and trigger warnings should be at the very top of the post and in the tags so they can be properly blocked. If you’re posting fic/prompt, please double check your spelling and fix any typos you find because posts that are filled with excessive typos are difficult to read.
There’s probably a lot more to talk about, but just getting this much out is tiring and, frankly, I don’t want to think on it any more today. If you reply/add comments, I won’t get to them in a while bc I will be writing ghostlights and yhk fic to lift my mood :)
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i've been thinking abt this for the last 10 seconds and i need to share this LMFAOO but how but either jack or kappa with "i would never let anyone or anything hurt you. i've never felt that way about anyone." AAAAAAAA imma pass out oki lob u lots and i love the way you write i like hang on to every word ITS SO GOOD EVERYTIME
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1000 FOLLOWERS! Let's celebrate that with this little something something here 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 I'm very much left speechless by the sheere amount of people that apparently enjoy my deranged writings enough to follow this flaming dumpster fire of a Tumblr blog. I love and appreciate all of you so incedibly much! 🖤 Thank you from the very bottom of my heart!
Going To California
Summary: Kappa displaying insane amounts of husband material.
Pairing: hippie!Kappa x fem!Reader
Word Count: ~1.6k
Content Warnings: Romantic Van Life Smut 18+!, Unprotected P In V, L-Bombs, Very Fluffy And Domestic, Kappa Being A Heartthrob, Kappa Talking You Through It, Sprinkles Of Actual Plot, Dad!Kappa 👀
A/N: To the wonderful nonnie, I have to confess that I thought much longer than 10 seconds about this 🤭🥴
I put together a hippie!Kappa playlist!
Tagging the horny horde:
@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-luvr @icarus-star @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @blueberrypancakesworld @rocketqueen-world @r0ttenmess @doddernix @svgarcaine @amayalul @basementgrl222 @kristennero-wallacewellsver @iiheartsai
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Spent my days with a woman unkind
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine
Made up my mind to make a new start
Going to California with an aching in my heart
Someone told me there's a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair
- Going To California By Led Zeppelin
With his plush, soft lips Kappa left a trail of slightly sloppy kisses all the way from your forehead down to the tip of your nose that he eventually nudged playfully with the tip of his own.
"And here I thought you'd let me sleep.." You giggled, your tone a little drowsy as your senses had already been on the best way to slip towards warm and comforting dreams for tonight.
" 'M sorry, sugar, didn't wanna wake you up again." He nuzzled his face into the curve of your neck, his left cheek soft against your jawline.
"Are you though?" You pushed somewhat teasingly, arching your brows in the dark of the van while a smile tugged your lips.
"Well, yeah…but also not really." Kappa admitted, his curly, black hair ghosting over your collarbone whilst his hands searched for your waist further down underneath the woolen blanket that the two of you shared.
In gingerly soft touches, his fingertips caressed over the bare skin of your hips, tracing your curves slowly to savor every inch of you next to him.
"Go on.." You inquired, feeling how he sent little waves of gentle goosebumps all over your body.
"I'm just..y'know…I've never been just that happy and I can't help myself here, really. I hardly get enough of you, babe." His slightly raspy voice hummed into the crook of your neck which had you leaning your head back just a little yet enough for him to take note of the invitation.
"Hardly enough, yeah?", It rolled over your tongue in a tender laugh as you recognised his lips softly nipping right underneath your earlobe, "I'm with you all day everyday. How are you not tired of that yet, honey?"
"How could I ever, hm?", To underline his point, Kappa suckled your sensitive skin right between his teeth, effectively leaving a hickey just like a love-sick teenager, "None of this would just be remotely as heavenly as it is right now without you. Living in a van this, being free to go wherever that…but I wouldn't wanna go anywhere without you anymore. I love you."
"Good god, you're so sweet, Kappa.", You felt your entire chest swelling with a very distinct kind of fulfilling warmth as you led your fingertips to sneak under the hem of his linen shirt and caress his soft skin all the way up to his shoulders, "I love you, too. So incedibly much."
Turning your face to the side just a notch, you pressed a long kiss to the crown of his head, holding him close in your embrace, your senses following closely how his body heat quickly engulfed your statue, seeping through the layers of fabric.
'Hmhmm…right there, sugar." Kappa quietly groaned into your neck, pressing his front further against yours.
You very well knew how much of a slave he was to being touched around his shoulders and you eagerly followed his plea for more of your tender strokes. Planting another kiss to his hair, you started drawing random shapes and forms, curly waves and loops all over his shoulder blades and along his spine, pulling little moans and whines oozing with enjoyment from his mouth.
"S-so good to me, love." He hummed in a low voice, his own hands fastening their hold on your hips.
"Always." You returned softly while it didn't go unnoticed how both of your bodies reacted to one another.
You could feel Kappa's growing hard on pressing through his pants against your thighs just as much as you acknowledged your perked up nipples brushing against his collarbones whilst your own arousal throbbed between your legs.
"So much for just falling asleep, huh?" You joked amicably, pressing both of your palms against his back before pulling him on top of you as you turned to lay on your back.
"Oh, that's all you now!" Kappa reciprocated with a hearty laugh right before lowering his lips onto yours, nipping and nibbling at them teasingly.
"Is that so?" It left your mouth in a chuckle, your hands busy with pulling his trousers off of him.
"I might just be a tad bit involved in this.." He groaned, feeling his cock prodding against your cunt without anything left in between.
"A tad bit, yeah?" You inhaled sharply at the sensation, noticing how your body turned gradually more greedy.
"Probably severely very interested, s'that what you wanna hear, sugar?" Kappa sighed against your mouth before thrusting into you in one languid, careful stroke.
"Fuck…", It rushed over your tongue as you felt his girth stretching you out, "Feels so good, damn."
"Still mad about being awake?" Your lover huffed against your jawline as he rolled his hips into your lap, having your eyes flutter shut at the sensation.
"Hmhmmm…" You moaned out whilst allowing your head loll back into one of the plenty tie-dye patterned cushions.
"Fuck, I love you so much.", Kappa groaned, raising his forehead to rest right against yours as he thrusted into you anew, "I'd never let anything or anyone hurt you, sugar. You know that, right?"
Kappa's words reverberated, echoed right through you, making you feel as one with him.
"I've never felt that way about anyone before." His voice filled your mind as the tip of his cock nudged against that especially sensitive spot on your inside.
"My one and only…", You moaned softly against his warm, slightly sweaty cheek, your lips brushing over his upper lip and pressing soft pecks to the corner of his mouth, "Wouldn't trade the world for you. Ugh, god, hear that? You turned me all soft, damn hippie."
Both of you chuckled for a moment, the vibrations of his chest against yours making your heart feel like it was about to explode right into his aura that smelled like lavender and freshly cut grass to you. The warmth of his character, the carelessness in the most inappropriate of moments and just simply being with Kappa had done things to you…good things for once in your life.
"You were soft way before me, love, the world just didn't appreciate you showing it, but be certain that I do." You couldn't quite decipher if it was the way Kappa spoke to you or the way he cradled the curves of your waist in his grip, making you feels safe and protected with him right on top you, between your legs, that eventually pushed your body over the threshold of a rapidly building orgasm and quite frankly you didn't care.
Soft moans, repeated chants of his name cascaded from your lips as you arched your back to shove your hips into his lap, needing to feel him inside of you as deep as you possibly could, your pulsing and contacting cunt clenching down around his cock.
"There, there…let it all just go, 'm here, sugar." He cooed into your flushed cheek in a low groan, his own body turning rigid as he felt your walls pulling him in deeper.
The tide of your orgasm, the push and pull of your release was enough for Kappa to come undone himself, spilling his load as deep as possible, shoving it and pushing it deep inside of you.
"I gotchu…" Kappa hummed, enjoying the bliss of his own release rippling through his muscles, allowing himself to get lost in that instant of being ultimately close to you.
Only very reluctantly he pulled out of you eventually, the load of his seed trickling out and pooling all over the inside of your thigh.
"Uh, I gotta tell you something, actually…" You started awkwardly, immediately drawing Kappa's attention towards you.
"Huh? Are you trying to give a panic attack right after cumming now?" His hand fumbled around the headboard above the mattress, fingertips eagerly trying to find the light switch for the fairy lights dangling from all over the ceiling.
"No, sorry, oh god, sorry. It's just… come here.", Right after he flipped the switch, illuminating the inside of your van in a warm, almost orangy tint, you reached for his hand and gently pressed it against your lower abdomen, "I have a strong feeling that we are at least 3 now."
"What?" It blurted out of him, brows knit together in confusion as he stared at you with a dumbfounded expression on his face.
"I'm way past my period, Kappa.", You hinted further, "Sore breasts and, good god, the nausea lately?"
"What I'm hearing you say right now is that you are… pregnant?" His forehead crinkled in soft creases.
"Ah, there we go. That took you a hot second, no?" You chuckled out softly, planting a kiss to the bridge of his nose.
" 'M gonna be a dad?!", Confusion was swept aside by unbridled joy and excitement, "And you're gonna be a momma?!"
"Looks like it an awful lot now, babe." You couldn't hold back the wide grin spreading on your face before Kappa practically jumped you, attacking you with a wave of kisses, pecks and smooches all over.
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ponderingmoonlight · 4 months
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Thank you to everyone who supported my blog in 2023 🤍
I can't put into words how much I love every single one of you for your support. No matter if you like one fic of mine or my whole blog, no matter if you write me anon or leave a comment. Let me tell you that I appreciate every minor interaction with the stuff I create over here 🤍
When I started this blog in September (I think lol) I was so scared of sharing my thoughts. But you were supportive right from the start, encouraging me to follow my ideas even in times I didn't feel like it. You might not even know how much you helped me through dark times, how much your constant support lifted me up and helped me getting over the shit that happened 2023 (like Shibuya damn). You have become such an important variable in my life that this blog is literally like a baby to me 😭
Thank you for sticking with me through 2023. I hope you'll stay in the new year as well 🤍
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Also, I'd like to take this moment to pay a special thanks to my lovely moots:
@belovedvamp I know we basically just started talking, but you seem like such a fun person and I totally relate to your Yuta affection lol. Thank you for supporting my works through your constant likes, comments, reblogs and requests. I hope we'll stay in touch this new year 🤍
@risuola you are such a sweetheart. Not only is your writing chef's kiss and you were one of my first ever obsessions here on Tumblr (you are still lol), but you make me laugh and cry like no other. You literally seem like such a fun person and put a smile of my face the second you post. Please keep up being so damn cool and please NEVER stop writing those amazing fanfics 🤍
@kawaiiakamaru we aren't moots for that long but you are supporting me for so long. Just seeing a comment or a blog entry from you makes me happy, as well as your cute profile pic (please never change it hehe). Your first ever fic was absolutely amazing, please keep up the good work and make sure to tag me in your new fics of this year 🤍
@sorrowfulrosebud it's funny how we met through that dang annoying anon who still keeps bugging you lol. In some kind of way, I'm actually thankful for them. Not because of the nonsense they are getting on your nerves with, but because I got to get in touch with your wonderful blog. You are funny, you seem passionate and are so talented like it's absolutely insane! I hope you finally get to live in peace on your blog and continue blessing my timeline 🤍
@ynackerman9499 first of all let me tell you how absolutely sorry I am for not publishing any of your requests recently. They're all so good I literally don't know where to start 😭 you are such a sweet person, our little talk made me giggle the entire time and I love that we basically have the same taste in anime and anime men hehe. Thank you for supporting my blog and especially looking out for me the whole time, I hope we'll talk again soon 🤍
@sitarawrites you actually were one of my first moots over here and our conversations were priceless. I was so happy when you finally decided to share your great works with us! You are truly such a talented writer who makes us feel the emotions of our favorite jjk characters like none other. Also, I love that you are a badass bitch who takes no shit from others. You are actually my example when it comes to badass characters 😭 I wish you all the best and hope that you get the love, appreciation and clamness you deserve in 2024 🤍
@sunshine7queen you are my no 1 supporter since day one and I love you from the bottom of my heart for it 😭 Everytime I open up my tumblr and see that you left a comment under my works (like you literally always do), I get excited immediately, like why is it so fun to chat with you. Also, you share the greatest treasures when it comes to cool artwork or other fics: you're my greatest source for great content over here! Let me thank you for every comment, every like and every reblog and how you always make me feel good about myself. You are a true sweetheart, stay the way you are and have the lovliest new year 🤍
@wifenanami your obsession for Nanami is just as great as mine and I love you for it. But not only that, you are my number one when it comes to Nanami requests and therefore fics on this blog. Literally half of my Nanami fics exist because of your great request that make me laugh and warm my heart while shattering it and making me cry. Also, your artwork is way too good for this world. Sometimes I go through my requests just to see your pics 😭 Thank you for making my 2023 better with your comments, your aesthetic blog and your request. I hope you're sticking with me through 2024 as well 🤍
@selen1um-hexafluoride you are such a funny person, your blog entries made my day so often that I lost count. Let me tell you that your unnecessary opinions definetely matter to me and that I enjoy every single one of them. You write your hcs like a pro, I literally can't wait to see more of you. Please don't stop writing and make sure to tag me in your works (when you find out how hehe) 🤍
@sanicsmut girl, you're the love of my life. Seriously, since that day you decided to comment under my first ever Choso works you've been by my side and supported my works even though they didn't have your favorites (=Choso and Hiromi lol) in them. Even though we don't chat that often, I love your lil comments under my shitpostings as well as I love to see what's going on over there on your blog. You seem like such a funny talented person it's seriously unfair 😭 Also, see this as a petition for you to post more artwork of yours because it's GORGEOUS! Love ya, thank you for all the support and let me see you again this year 🤍
@lees-chaotic-brain oh Petra, you are such a sweet, passionately and badass chick it makes me all emotional. You were my first moot over there and stuck with me ever since. Even though we didn't talk much these last weeks because we're both pretty stressed, I still adore you and our conversations with all my heart. You are such a strong person, going through all this hate of last year with confidence, not letting anyone getting you down that you have been a true example for me. Despite all the things you've been through, despite all the shit you have to endure, you're still so fucking strong and I truly admire you for it! Also, you are one of my all time favorite writers here on Tumblr - no one does it like you! Let me take this opportunity to thank you. Thank you for being my first ever moot, thank you for listening when nobody else did, thank you for the amazing content you gift us with. I'm so glad I met you and I am beyond glad that you are the person that you are. Let nobody ever take your spark away from you (and I publicy promise to finally get your request done) 🤍
@lizziespoem we didn't hear much from each other the last few weeks, but let me tell you how proud I am that you're looking out for yourself and that you put yourself first. Even though I miss your gorgeous fanfics and to just talk to you, I hope with all my heart that you are doing well my german tumblr bestie (melde dich gerne mal wenn du Zeit und Lust hast) 🤍
@hitori979 you're truly making me emotional. You have to be one of the few people who supported me from day one. Your endless comments, you defending me, you liking my whole stuff. Like...I can't even put into words how much you mean to me. I know how busy you are and that you rarely find the time to scroll through Tumblr and get in touch with my works, but you always make sure that I feel appreciated. Even though you don't even know me (and how I just realized I don't even know your name) you check on me from time to time and cheer me up when I feel down. I love our little conversations about jjk manga, I love your opinion on basically EVERYTHING and I love how geniuely funny you are. Let me tell you that your support means the world to me and that I get excited just when reading your blog name. Let me tell you that your ideas inspire me and are actually the source of like half of my best works! You seem like such a smart and empathic person. I really hope the new year brings you less work stress and all the things you ever wish for. You deserve the world, love. And I will be forever thankful for you finding my blog and deciding to support me through everything 🤍
@lavenderdrxp thank you thank you thank you for your likes, reblogs and comments. I loved our lil chitchat and actually enjoyed chatting with you so much that I hope we'll be able to do it anytime soon again 😭 Also, let me promise you that I'll publish your request this year hehe. Have the happiest new year with new episodes of our favorite anime coming soon 🤍
Okay, now I'm crying a lil on my own. Just...thank y'all. Have the nicest 2024 ever 😭
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cringefail-hermitry · 4 months
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I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.
It's gonna be a long one
Like, *LONG* long
Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)
First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.
I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.
Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.
@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.
So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").
Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.
The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.
Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.
Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.
@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!
@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.
Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.
Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)
@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.
@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.
Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.
And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).
This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.
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ask-the-bone-boys · 4 months
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ATBB's Future
Hiiii y'all, its uh. been a minute huh
Now that it's been a bit over a year since I put this blog on hiatus, a loootta stuff has happened and changed and i've been doing a loootttta thinking!
Looking back on it, like really really looking, my biggest reason for the hiatus was that at some point the blog just kinda became more of a chore than something I wanted to work on for fun. Ask blogs are a lot of work, even when you're just using talking portraits rather than drawing out every individual answer, and with how much ask culture on tumblr has died out over the years there just wasn't really enough payoff to make it feel worthwhile to keep burning myself out.
I think it's a really good thing I stopped it when I did, because having to deal with all that in my senior year of high school would have been a nightmare. I've actually just finished up my first semester of college now, and there's no way in hell I would've been able to keep up at any rate! With all of this in mind, I've gained a newer perspective about how to approach things going forward.
I'm still really attached to this story. With how much time I've spent thinking about it and developing it in my head, I can't let it go, even if the blog isn't really working out anymore. I keep thinking of different ways I could fix the decisions I made early on, as well as the super cool directions I could take it in in the future, and I just. I GOTTA.
So, I've decided to reboot it entirely as a fic series!
This means that, unfortunately, there won't be nearly as much artwork to accompany it, but it's far more likely for the story to actually progress! Writing is way less draining for me and once I get going I can do it much quicker than art anyway, even though I do still sorta wish I had the spoons to just turn it into a full-blown webcomic instead haha
This DOES mean that updates won't be nearly as linear as they were here, seeing as right now I've mostly been working on backstory fics that took place before the blog's main story, but that can at least give you guys more context for how the characters interact with each other! I'll also state that while I do write faster than I draw, I still do it a hell of a lot less, so updates will still probably be pretty infrequent. But at least they'll happen at all, right?
As for the state of this blog itself, obviously I'm going to leave it up! I still love looking back on the old interactions you guys had with my characters and your reactions to certain plot points (your reactions to Fluff tagging along with the rest of the group were my favorite by far) and I think it would actually kill me to erase them. I'll be posting the fic updates here too, just like I did for Self Hatred!
And even if it's not going to be an ask blog anymore, because of how much I still miss that kind of interaction with you guys, I think I want to do a sort of "last hurrah" event, to finally send off the asking format with some good vibes.
You see, there's a character I made up around this time of year two years ago. He's a pretty cool guy, but he doesn't actually show up until a specific turning point later in the story. I've been excited for you guys to talk to him since the day I made him, but a little bummed lately that you may not ever get the chance. I still need to get a lot of stuff prepared, so I'm not quite ready to announce or start anything just yet, but there's a reason I waited until my winter break to start thinking about this seriously.
I think you guys would really like to meet him.
But anyway, that's about all I wanted to say for now! This is a very long post already so it's time I start wrapping it up. As always, thank you all so much for sticking with me, even though I really haven't been consistent through the years. I hope this change doesn't come as too much of a disappointment, and that you'll keep sticking around for the reboot!
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roachesforthewin · 7 months
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My Personal TIMKON Recs List
i made this for my friend recently and thought i’d share it here because you tumblr bitches love pain and little gay dudes (just like me fr)
all of these have good young justice, batfam and superfam (though sometimes it’s minimal) representation (because i don’t read them if they don’t have good rep, sue me). Plus Tim and Kon personality and character accuracy, obviously.
Also these are all Ao3 recs because i like to consider myself as not a heathen
Funk Ass
- sun kissed by merils
https://archiveofourown.org/works/48882055
beach episode, queer young justice fr fr, Kon rep is off the charts (ashgs quite possibly the conner rep of all time, just the phrases he uses /$)/ so real!!)
- Baby Talk Me Down (Take Me Out) by sage (lemontongues)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384345
ahhhsh this one is unfinished but i desperately wish it was, either way great fic and great character rep + conner civvy life insights
- Out of The Frying Pan, Into the Casserole Dish By JpegdotJpeg
https://archiveofourown.org/works/41005416
martha kent (& the superfam!) is the best person ever, plus tim is the most autistic little dude (we love him sm)
Haven’t finished but amazing rep/haven’t read yet but plan to
- Robins and other flightless birds by Ionaperidot
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607170
ahsgshsh this one qualifies for [literally kill yourself after reading (pain)]category but i put it here just cause :-| uhh BW adopts fucked up kids good for him: JJ!tim, Catatonic!jason COA!dick etc
- Straight on ‘til morning by merils
https://archiveofourown.org/works/43401684
haven’t read this one yet but i’ve heard really good stuff about it! plus good kon character development/ exploration (from what i’ve heard)
- there you were by mindshelter
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599205
the blorbos deserve pain, don’t you agree? (i haven’t read this one in a hot minute and have forgotten what it’s about but i remember it being good)
- Buy Back the Secrets by sundiscus
https://archiveofourown.org/works/43137879/chapters/108412977
okay no this one LITERALLY AHSGGSGS bro just read it, uhh civvy tim and superboy interactions, 5+1 things, good sibling Jason (a rarity unfortunately), funny ass dialogue
sexy times (good for them)
disclaimer! none of these fics are like solely focused on smut, but that plays a large ish role thats why they’re in this category
- take me to the airport (call me from the platform) by Hayleythewriter
https://archiveofourown.org/works/47970586/chapters/120950194
This has an idiots to lovers tag…there’s not much more to say. except for great sibling relationship portrayal of Damian and Tim that doesn’t involve murder attempts Yay!! (DC wouldn’t even dream of it)
- What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32850109
Stupidest bitches alive fr (mostly tim) + Cassie Sandsmark being a bitch, we love to see it! and and and it has an interesting subplot/s so woowoo, also minor Birdflash👀
- Scions by winterlive
https://archiveofourown.org/works/375897
Conner Luthor is a bitch and i love him + lex luthor is a good dad WHAT!?! oh HA and Clex which is soo good.This was honestly one of my favourites sheerly because of good character representation and BW not being a terrible father
- Trust Fall by Ididloveyou_once
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31654376
Again good sibling rep between all of the batboys, mostly Damian and Tim tho YAY! (it’s seriously a rarity do not take it for granted)
Literally kill yourself after reading these (Pain)
- when your bf hits the street and turns into meat that’s amore by CarrionCarnival
https://archiveofourown.org/works/40318824
self explanatory title, heavy gore :loved it, literally my favourite fic on this list (i adore gore what can i say)
- You are Shaking Fists and Trembling Teeth by Bored_Liege_bow
https://archiveofourown.org/works/47679967
implied TimKon, aftermath of conners death Rip timothy d-w
- my dear devoted delicate by blenderfullasarcasm
https://archiveofourown.org/works/48556555
pushing daisies au, sad af + good exploration of loss on tim’s part through his life
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stiffyck · 29 days
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Hey Stiff,
@scittiesenjoyer here (why won’t Tumblr let me ask from a side blog)
I kinda went off in the tags of two anonymous asks you got implying you were racist for giving Scar a big nose in your art
I’m here to double down
Because I love your art and seeing you in the community and it makes my blood boil to think that some dickhead accusing you of something you didn’t do will make you feel less welcome here (honestly I wanna be a lot meaner to that anon, but I’m choosing to believe that they were coming from a good place and are just ignorant rather than malicious)
Anon has taken a very real issue and over applied it to the point of almost parody. I would like to make it clear that I am white myself and was raised Christian (agnostic now not that it really matters), so by no means an expert on the issues faced by others. But I do listen to Jewish people and have read into the topic of harmful Jewish stereotypes seemingly more than anon. Prepare for me to give you two whole sources more than that anon
Yes overly large noses (often also hooked) are used in caricatures of Jewish people, but never in complete isolation. Here’s a post on Jew-coding, the practice of applying character traits that make you think of Jewish people. Which can be good or bad, depending on what is making you think of Jewish people
https://www.tumblr.com/roach-works/703234602671751168/on-jew-coding
It doesn’t touch on large noses, though it is often brought up in discussions around art and animation. Especially as villains are often negatively Jew-coded. Think big hooked noses, curly hair, bankers/moneylenders (or otherwise tight with money), and of course stealing or harming blond haired, blue eyed children. Here’s an article that goes more into that for Disney especially
https://www.heyalma.com/why-do-so-many-disney-villains-look-like-me/
I think something important about most of what you will read on this topic is that it’s never a single trait in isolation. It’s the layering of bad Jew-coding that makes something racist. A college student being frugal is not a racist stereotype. But if that college student also had curly hair, was cowardly, antagonised others, and had a thick New York accent then we’d need to be concerned
You giving a character with no illusions to being Jewish a big nose is not racist. You’re not making him the villain, or greedy, or part of some shadow council or otherwise applying any negative (or positive for that matter) Jew-coding to him. You are just drawing a guy and having fun with your art style
I know nothing I can say will take away how you’ve been feeling about that initial anon, it feels horrible to be accused of something like this. Especially when it comes out of nowhere, and in this case is quite unfounded. I know I would have been scrambling trying to figure out where I went wrong. I hope knowing some of the context helps alleviate any distress you’ve been feeling
Please keep playing with proportions and your art style. There is nothing wrong with exaggerating only select features while leaving the rest proportional, the implication that there could be baffles me. I totally understand you wanting to take a break from posting art for a bit. This would be a massive blow to anyone’s confidence. But I think it’s important that you not let this steal away your joy in creating the art you want to
I’m happy to talk more on this or anything else if you wanna reach out, sending love and artistic inspiration
Hi, thanks for the ask!
I think I can see where the anon is coming from when it comes to some of the stuff I drew but I genuinely never thought it would come off as anything bad? Like to me my design just sorta looks like a character you'd see in a cartoon, which is why the ask took me so off guard.
I also feel that since I'm white and I can't really talk about this because I'm not really well educated when it comes to this sorta stuff? Like I don't want to argue with someone or try to defend myself when I don't know enough.
I've been meaning to read up on some stuff but adhd has been making it hard to do literally anything tbh. I need to get medicated so I can read non-fandom related stuff and in general actually do more productive stuff (more art, other stuff i enjoy I haven't been able to do because executive dysfunction) but I'm getting off track here dkvfkdjge
Ive been real anxious lately and that ask really got to me so I don't know about any art for now. I just need some time I guess for the anxiety to ease up idk.
Basically. What I'm trying to say.
I dont know enough about this and in no way would I ever want to do something that's bad or comes off as a racist stereotype or something.
Thanks for the sources and thanks for the nice words
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