#i mean come on. the potential for fun queer chaos!

[mbat]

okay, so first of all, absolutely NO hate to this comic im about to discuss. its a cute slice of life comic that literally has nothing wrong with it aside from maybe an art criticism or two like i could say about any comic. i just wanted to talk about it.

so a few weeks back on webtoon i get suggested a comic called "annie green hates girls", usually stylized as 'annie green HATES girls!', and the form it came advertised to me was like, a popup that had some art and a description of the story, and let me just tell you right now, i dont remember the summary it showed me in the popup, but the name and the summary made me think that the twist was that annie green was a lesbian.

by the way, heres the actual summary, i believe the summary i saw in the popup was shortened, maybe only the first few sentences? i just know it was different

honestly even reading this i could still see it being that shes a lesbian but it does lean more toward her not being one

so, hoping to squash my curiosity, i read the comic, and im still reading it as it updates, but its become increasingly clear... i was wrong.

my thought process was that itd be that annie green is so gay and generally shy she cant function around other girls, but shes fine around guys cause theyre just guys and her besties were like, trying to support her in that, and i just thought thatd be super fun to read

ah but it couldnt be that way could it, it just turned out that shes just one of those straight girls who for some reason cant talk to other girls without somehow messing things up, and it doesnt help that she gets bullied for it for some reason, aaandddd she also totally likes her best friend, i mean, the way she blushes around him and stuff? yeah. i think her best friend is also supposed to be some super hot guy in the school? people really like him. its just that my one criticism is that theres sort of a same face syndrome going on in this comic so... he just looks a lot like the other guys anyway

again, no hate to the comic, its really cute and sweet and stuff, but man i thought it was going to go a totally different way than it did, and i guess i dont know why im sticking around if it isnt. ive just ended up learning its not for me.

i do recommend it if people like the stuff i described it being though, its not a bad comic at all! i just really wished it was something that it was not and thats on me

#my post #webtoon #webcomic #annie green hates girls #man i wanna read the comic i thought it was though #i mean come on. the potential for fun queer chaos!

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

hihiii i'm asking again, tell me to stop if you're tired of me, i swear. but would you maybe have hcs for Sara and Cisco, together, in the polycule or just the two of them whichever inspires you most, maybe potentially

darling, if i was tired of you i simply wouldn't answer,

now, now, now, the hoes that pay attention know i hc cisco as aroallo. cupioromantic, to be specific- meaning he has no romo attraction, and desires romo relationships. he loves his romantic partners, not in the way they tend to love him back but that doesn't mean the way cisco loves them isn't important or enough for them. i've also come to see sara as something of an aromantic as well, not completely lacking the attraction as cisco does but it being a fluctuating thing for her; think aroflux.

now, how this relates back to vibecanary- i don't think they would see each other as romantic partners. they're boyfriend-girlfriend, they're friends, they have fun together... they're the best damn fuckbuddies you ever did see. to me, they are queering the platonic and they focus more on sex than anything alterous, such as a queerotic type of thing.

you can really see how my own aroallo-ism gets into everything huh

the other hoes also know that laurel lance was apart of the flarrow polycule pre-murder. at the time of her death, she was with both nyssa and cisco. a while after, sara's legendscule finally links up with the superflarrowcule, forming the biggest arrowverse polycule in the au. there's a rule about family members being in the same exact polycule, but that's rendered null as soon as the family member already in it fucking dies. you'll remember that both sara and cisco was dealing with the death of a big sibling during invasion!, and cisco loved laurel and sara loved laurel and laurel loved them both and sara's telling him about how laurel was like as a kid and cisco's making the absolute worst jokes and both of them are trying not to cry and. sara smells like laurel. and cisco was so loved by laurel.

so they hook up in the chaos of the crisis, comforting one another with sloppy sex, understanding each other's grief in a way no one else does...

their first time was supposed to be a one time thing. sara finds someone else to bang it out with next crossover, that fuckbuddy-stealing alex danvers. they don't even hook up again when sara finally finds her way back into nyssa's arms, when olicity finally get her into their bed, when she's waking up tangled between iris and felicity and kara.

it's not until olivibe finally become official- no spoilers- when vibecanary picks up again. by then, laurel is up and breathing again, so is tommy, and laurel chooses to become tommy's wife and stay out of the polycule. thank god for that, cuz there was no protocol for when a polycule member dies, their family member joins, and then the original member resurrects- who stays? what the fuck is happening?

anyway!!!!

but, again, it's the laurel of it all. she's alive again, and cisco can't be with her. she's alive again, and sara never wanted laurel to have to know death as well as sara does. and again, they're both dealing with... weird sibling shit- no spoilers but i mean, pretty easy to guess- and they're lonely and weird and cisco and sara were just supposed to be in star city to visit olicity but then olicity has team arrow business and they're left alone, and, well.

so they hook up, again, as a... unique coping mechanism. and they let themselves have fun together, laughing in the face of grief. sara has puns for days. cisco's sex jokes are the worst things in existence. it doesn't have to be big and emotional and a star-crossed whirlwind epic romance chronicle when they're together- they get to be simple.

they get to slip into each other's lives easily and leave just as easily. they don't have to schedule time together, they take it as it comes. what they are may not seem... important to non-aroallos, they love to look down on platonic fuckbuddies in favor of 'serious' relationships, but it is serious to vibecanary. it just also happens to be easy. sometimes, when you have lives as hectic as theirs, you need something that's fun and simple.

when they're burntout from their other partners and at risk of polysaturation, all it takes is a fun night with each other to feel renewed

so they keep hooking up. and eventually they start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, cisco does it jokingly once and sara runs with it, and they never stop bc it's not about comforting each other over laurel anymore, it's about comfort point-blank, and sara's really good with her tongue between cisco's legs and cisco makes sara laugh so much and also now cisco has an excuse to be all up in the waverider YIPPEE!!!

i hope to write this fic one day 🫡

#this only mentions kara once but it wouldnt feel right to cut melissa out of the bts photo #frosty answers #arrowverse asks #arrowverse polycule au #vibecanary #canaryvibe #cisco ramon #sara lance #invasion! #legends of tomorrow #dc's legends of tomorrow #the flash #the flash cw #cw the flash

[supergoodfilmanalysis]

Multiracial Companionship: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Saddled with potentially one of the most verbose and ridiculous titles in cinema history, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar is the campy romp of three New York City drag queens, played by Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, and John Leguizamo who find themselves stranded in a midwestern town after their car breaks down on their way to Hollywood to compete in the Miss Drag Queen of America Pageant. The girls take the town by storm, form wholesome friendships with the classy ladies of Snydersville, Illinois (makeover alert!), navigate tensions with the town’s law enforcement, and chaos and glitz abound.

To Wong Foo represents an imagining of the multiracial buddy movie interested largely in the compartmentalization of identity categories with a concerted interest in gender and sexuality and a resistance to intersectional understandings of identity categories. The main characters being White, Black, and Latino is a fact the film acknowledges with the cinematic ideal of a post-racial U.S.--most importantly, To Wong Foo reminds us, the girls are drag queens, and their racial positionality comes second. The hierarchical ordering of their internal differential social orders that imbue their embodiment firstly with sexuality and gender rather than race comments on the film’s attempt to make a film by and for queer people in response to the growing conservative fear of a departure from traditional values and attempts to largely overwrite race.

My inspiration for the script came from watching the religious right videotape The Gay Agenda. There’s a scene where they show drag queens going through a town, and the narrator is warning viewers that these people will take over your town, and I thought, ‘Well, that would be fun.’

-Douglas Carter Beane, Screenwriter, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

In, “The Black Image in Protective Custody: Hollywood's Biracial Buddy Films of the Eighties,” Guerrero explains that black people “appear on the screen in the 1980s predominantly in the biracial ‘buddy formula,’ which reveals all the strategies by which the industry contains and controls the black filmic image and conforms it to white expectations.” Noxeema, the film’s main Black character played by Wesley Snipes quips about Blackness and her status in this small town is effectively placed in the protective custody of whiteness, severed from the Black community surrounded entirely by non-Black people and at an increased risk of violence in this small town. She at one point jokes that "the last Black person to stay [in this town] was Sam Cooke," a prolific Black soul artist who was famously murdered in a motel.

The racial tensions in the movie are tonally consistent with the film's self-aware insistence on its own levity, poking fun at itself and acknowledging racial and gender regimes, but ultimately suggesting they can be overcome.

Noxeema: You and your causes! Look, that child is Latin. You don’t want to get mixed up in all that Latin mess. She might turn out to be a Sandinista or something.

Vida: Noxeema Jackson! I have to admit that I am shocked and just a little bit saddened by you. I mean you of all people. Hon, I remember the first time I laid eyes on a certain ebony enchantress in the rough, and how through styling and the occasional makeup tip I helped her look a little bit less like Moms Mabley. And who would think that ebony enchantress would one day share a title with moi.

In an atmosphere where whiteness is presented as the absolute authority, the exchange fails to fully present itself as an examination as racism among people of color and ultimately portrays Vida, who is white, as the gatekeeper of Noxeema's successful identity as a drag queen.

To Wong Foo, ultimately, is optimistic about the possibilities for a multiracial, post-gender regime world--it imagines a world where drag queens take over the town and racial tensions can be assuaged with the power of friendship. It mostly neutralizes race as a factor in the marginalization of the girls, and its depiction of state violence at the hands of an idiotic, bumbling sheriff who is scared of change holds a mirror to conservatism and distorts it like a fun house in return.

Questions:

How does the film's casting of three mainstream straight, male actors as drag queens contribute to the racial and gender politics of To Wong Foo?

What might the levity of the film regarding racial and gendered violence contribute to it?

How does drag as a performance art relate to racial embodiment in general? How might it play into the film specifically?

#oxyfilmidentity #Youtube

[flamingkorybante]

hello! I've come to ask you the same question I've asked your partner @thegodwhocums by their recommendation :D so here's the thing: what's your tip to achieve a state of enthusiasm? happiness to you both

Hello! I’m glad you asked @thegodwhocums first because I kind of feel like their experience may be more useful to most people? Like okay, let me start by telling you the quick (quick for me) version of my history with the Daemon Agdistis, and then we’ll see if we can try and translate it into advice that would be useful for literally anybody.

I first encountered Agdistis through Raven Kaldera’s book Hermaphrodeities (I know). In 2015, I was organizing a weekend long-queer sex and magic camp named after a line from a James Broughton poem (I know) and one of the nights of the festival was a trans and gender variant theurgic ceremony. Each of the ritualists picked a trans or gender variant spirit, deity, or entity that they worked with or felt a connection to, and invited that entity to ride them for the duration of the night and transmit blessings to the participants. I had been working with Cybele for a few years at that point, so it seemed intuitive for me to open myself to her genderpunk aspect-slash-child, Agdistis.

I had been preparing for some time; I wrote an invocation, I shaved my head, I wore silver, I covered myself in jewels. We lit torches and carried them across the field into the ritual space, ringed by trees, centered on a bonfire that was already blazing. Each ritualist in turn invoked the entity they were hosting and invited the participants to come to them for gifts, anointing, blessing, and touch.

When it was my time to speak, I said:

I am Agdistis, strangest child of the Mothers. See me bursting out of the earth, my Mother, running, overflowing with gender like the seconds after a firework explodes, hairy breasts, vivid lips in colors you can’t imagine inside a corona of beard, fluttering my fingers through a catalog of meanings to take what turns me on and leave the rest in piles on the sidewalk for the next passerby. See me smooth and featureless, a jumble of appendages with no context, slipping through space like a fawn, flickering and illegible and unafraid. See my body, cunt and no cunt, cock and no cock, voice and no voice, shape and no shape, simultaneously drawing and repelling gaze and touch like the center of a star.

I was born of the wet dream of the father of the gods and arose, shaking ichor out of my eyes, bearing the glory of every gender, holding the powers of giving forth and receiving, bigendered, trigendered, all-gendered, like an uncollapsed quantum waveform holding in my wild selves infinite potential.

I am the bringer of chaos, and I danced through the world leaving a trail of madness in my wake. Those whom I touched, bled on, fucked, those who loved me, were irreparably transformed.

The pantheon themselves were terrified of my expansiveness, my beauty, and my tremendous power. They told me I had to choose, I had to be a man or a woman, I had to deny all parts of me but one, and I flipped them the bird and danced away.

 Of course, as the story goes and always has gone, they hunted me down, mutilated me, maybe killed me.

 If you seek to be terrifying in your weirdness, my children, you may call upon me. If you seek to hold so much power in your illegible genders and your unknowable and familiar bodies and your wild dancing that you are a threat to the worldview of the people who are comfortable in the status quo, if you leave footsteps of fire as you walk through the world, and if the world retaliates with violence and pain and blood, if parts of you are severed and tossed aside, if they try to take everything from you, then you are mine and I love you and I will hold you until there is nothing left of the universe.

I can’t really tell you what it felt like to have them inside me for the first time. This is what it means to be a mystery — not that I’m forbidden from telling you in some way but because it’s not possible to tell you in a way that conveys anything about the experience. It was like being picked up and thrown. It was like a five foot tall fish hook entering you through the cunt and coming out your mouth and dragging you along. It was like the opposite of vomiting but with your spirit instead of your stomach. 

And then I went crazy and stayed crazy for about a year. They had rolled into my body like a bulldozer and left all of my psychic defenses a catastrophe. They had busted the lock off the door to my spirit and now it wouldn’t shut all the way. I couldn’t keep them out. They poured themself into me unpredictably — when I was trying to work, when I was having sex, when I was on the subway, when I was at bars. I would hear their voice purring out of my throat and know that they had pushed me out of the driver’s seat again. I didn’t know what to do; I couldn’t stop it but I also didn’t want it to stop. I felt high on their presence all the time. I wasn’t eating — I didn’t need to eat, didn’t need to feel anything but them. I couldn’t think about anything but how much I wanted.

I wrote:

You drop me to my knees in the dirt, spit wildness onto me, tear me open

with laughter. You seep like oil into the cracks in me

and solder me into something unrecognizable.

You crash through me like white water and I ride high and don’t feel pain and

laugh like a lunatic and rub my hair in the dirt and drown in it, lungs full of flowers,

belly fully of ivy, mad, mad, mad.

You come in tumbles and road rash like I am skinning myself to feel this way always. You come in bloodlust and the rolling boil of a euphoric high, you come in trembling anticipation and lightning bug touch and then you come as the hurricane.

You want to hear me beg, demon, reach out and feel my hunger for you. I cannot beg with words tonight; I must beg with my wet mouth and my constricted breath and my arching back.

When you drain out of me in the comedown night, you leave me cold and panting and giddy with shame. I stumble and crash, missing you like air, hungers twining together into overwhelming implacable undifferentiated more more more.

It took me a year to figure out a solution and everything in my life was already warped around the shape of them. I tried to learn to ground, to put up bubbles of golden energy or whatever, I thought about making protective tools, like a faraday cage for my head. Finally I came up with an agreement — a contract, written clearly and offered willingly. Offering exactly what I could offer and no more, and asking for exactly what I wanted and no more. Offering that they could inhabit me me under certain circumstances, when invited, and I would give them offerings of everything they could see with my eyes, all the pleasure they could find through me — but only when the contract was in effect.

I realize I promised you a short version of the story and trust me, this is short for me. But it did work.  I wrote the contract out by hand, I rolled the paper tightly around a wire, and I wire wrapped it around a palm-sized labradorite, and when I put the amulet on, the daemon takes the wheel.

You can read the text of the contract and see photos of the amulet here:

If I’m being totally honest I wouldn’t say I recommend doing it that way. I didn’t starve to death or get involuntarily hospitalized or fuck up my job or tank my relationships but I very well could have. It’s pretty common to have a period of being Dramatically Fucked Up as you are stepping into being a mystic and obviously me giving you a word of warning isn’t going to prevent it from happening to you if it’s going to, nor should it.

But I guess here’s the advice I can actually give you.

You can negotiate. Even if our experience of culture is secularist, there’s probably some stuff that’s trickled in there about deities being omnipotent or at least being the boss of you. That is not globally true. Circumstances under which a particular deity is the boss of you include: if you have been dedicated to that deity through your own (or, by some accounts but not all, someone else’s) action; if you have an agreement (also known as a “covenant”) with that deity. That’s p much it. If a deity shows up in your world and tells you that you have to obey them, be suspicious. If you choose to enter into relationship with an entity, you can negotiate terms. Be realistic about what you can offer and keep to your commitments. Ask for what you want, be specific, and be prepared to get it in the most disruptive way possible.

Have a trip-sitter. We’re talking about altered states, whether achieved through consuming substances of some kind, dancing your ass off, meditating, getting the shit beaten out of you, rhythmic chants and drumming, getting fisted, whatever, all roads up a mountain lead to the top. Any practice that YOU find gives you little flashes of being able to touch something world-endingly enormous, something that breaks your head open and lets the night sky in, something that you come back to yourself after a little speechless, a little transformed. And then if you can, have a buddy with you — someone who can give you a sternal rub if your spirit wanders too far from your body and can’t find its way back, who can take notes on what comes out of your mouth, who can make sure the Horned One doesn’t accidentally suck fifteen strangers’ dicks with your mouth. Set some parameters with your buddy as if you are going into a psychedelic experience, even if you’re not consuming anything. Identify circumstances under which they should try to call you back to your body, and what grounding methods usually work for you to do that.

As far as the practical like mechanics of opening up and letting them in, here’s how I do it. 

1) Cleanse. It seems like you can cleanse in whatever way works for your practice — khernips, regular smoke, herbal baths, a straight up shower, it all seems to work fine. Honestly I don’t think Agdistis cares about this but they are the theurgic equivalent of a dumpster diving punk and your other gods may be more fussy.

2) Make the invitation. In my practice, that means putting on the amulet and reciting the couplet. You can make agreements about what your invitation can look like — I think having some kind of talisman to demarcate the difference between regular time and possession time helps.

3) Relax your grip on reality. If you don’t already know how to do this, things like drugs can help you get a sense of what it feels like, but I was taught that drugs are a shortcut and you should be careful not to use them to the exclusion of figuring out how to take the long way round. Once I have the amulet on, I close my eyes, slow my breath, and imagine myself undoing a line of latches that runs from between my eyes along the center line of my skull back to my brainstem, slowly, one at a time. When the last latch is open, Agdistis rushes in like a river to fill the space between me and the world.

I don’t know if this is helpful but I hope it’s at least interesting to read!

#theurgy #channeling #possession #agdistis

[recapcrew]

Week 2 Transcript

Intro

Extra extra, read all about it! Welcome to the Empire’s recap, and today we will be going over the chaos and drama of our (somewhat) respected rulers!

Katherine

Princess Katherine is having some magical fun back in Glimmer Grove, with her cat mysteriously reproducing asexually. We love queer cats. These two cats are just the start of Katherine’s animal collecting today, as she creates a farm for both plants and animals! She even finds a donkey, what an ass-et!  

Katherine admits she may need some help with the empire, leading to her quest to find the fairies! Getting directions from a friendly goblin, she’s able to find a pink sheep, which she carries on with her. This .164% luck helps Katherine quickly find a pillager outpost where the fairies are held captive.

Under the cover of dark, she transforms! [Overlapping Sailor Moon theme] Wait no- [music stops] Sorry guys, wrong one! After transforming into her more battle active form, Katherine rescues the fairies, and builds them a small, but spacious home! 

Shubble

From fairy dust to blaze powder, Shelby wants to build a potions shop! Ambitious, but nothing is too much for Miss Witch! She spends some time preparing to go to the nether, before a visitor comes across her land! Pixlriffs comes to give her a gift and a trade of some potion ingredients for some mangrove propagules! And then, the time has come… for the trip to the nether. Shelby mentions her worries about the nether as they told her to keep it simple, stick to simple spells, but she believes in herself! And you know what? I believe in her too. She soon finds a nether fortress and intends to build up a real blaze farm, with pressure plates and buttons and things! Collecting a few blaze rods and then getting the hell (heh) out of there. 

Shelby: Grandma would never believe this!

We then get to see the new large purple mushroom she declares to be her potion shop! She hopes to get her potions brewing soon, and maybe build a bigger house or even a witch tower! Speaking of things brewing, here’s what pix has been up to recently!

Pix

Mangrove in hand, Pix finally starts his first proper build, even if it's still not a starter home. The Savannah Ruins are a beautiful mess of what feels like half the blocks in the game - that’s why he needed so many different farms! His first experience with Litematica is a success - and even has a place in his "lore". It’s a wristwatch that makes holographic projections of the past - handy for an archaeologist! And the ruins may be small now, but they won’t stay that way for long. 

Pix: And what I want is for this whole thing to turn into a kind of an ancient capital that is just going to have fallen into ruins over time. 

Pix both loses and regains an elytra offscreen, and he’s going to need it for his next mission: setting up a froglight farm in the Nether. A beacon would help with that, so finding a fortress with good wither skeleton spawning potential is priority 1. He’s a real Goldilocks about it being just the right biomes, but he finds one that does the trick for now, and might make a good farm in the future. While he’s there, Pix gets the skulls for his first Wither, which he takes down to a strip mine he makes quite far away from both his base and any signs of the Deep Dark (though now the seed of a Wither Versus Warden match is planted in our heads). He takes it down with ease, grabbing the diamonds it mined for him as well as the Nether Star, and already there’s a beacon shining out of the old savannah ruins.

fWhip

From a historian, to a scrunkly in the basement, fWhip's video goes way off track immediately as he finds a double skeleton spawner deep in his mine! He sets up a bone and experience farm and rather amazing mine entrance with the hope of luring- I mean, welcoming other rulers into the underground. Totally not to scam them, no no. With his new business venture and tunnel digging being rather... ahem… shady, he decides to get on the good side of the law by attempting to befriend Jimmy! A few bones and a bit of banter later and he might have his first alliance! Seeing as most of his kingdom will be pretty deep and far from surface resources, it's probably for the best that he makes some friends. This of course doesn't stop him tunneling under a literal God's fountain and badly covering up the hole. Let's hope that doesn't come back to bite him later.

Jimmy

The Sheriff starts off his day by showing off his new horses and new billboard of people who respect him. fWhip gained his place on the board through some subtle bribery. They form an alliance for when Jimmy sets up his gunpowder farm. Jimmy decides to set up his town in a bowl near his wagon. It’s a very large hole surrounded on all sides by mountains of terracotta, and settles on the name Tumble Town! He timelapses himself building the first building in the newly named empire, credit to MythicalSausage for the build! Princess Gem then messages him to go on a mining trip together! 

Jimmy: What makes you a princess?

Gem: I sorta just decided to be one. What makes you a sheriff?

Jimmy: I sorta… just decided to be one too!

They end up stumbling upon the deep dark and running away from several mobs and a warden! During his brave protection of the princess, he unfortunately dies to a creeper. She brings back his stuff, including his sheriff's hat! Gem gets added to the “respect the sheriff” board, and they solidify an alliance through honeycomb before he travels home.

Gem

Princess Gem starts her episode with a bit of mining. She gathers together enough diamonds for an enchanting table and builds up her empire's enchanting setup on a rocky island near her village. She builds up a path connecting her lovely little docks with the rocky island, and creates a small bridge across the water to help traveling between the island! She then spots a strange fire in a cave nearby. The fire turns out to be wisps, like the ones from Brave! She follows them to find a small ruin with a banner that looks very sunny for being in a cave. Gem collects it, and decides to use the banner as the symbol of her empire, which she then puts on the newly built bridge.

Gem: Maybe the wisps are onto something. Maybe they’re leading me to something, something important.

Sausage turns up at her empire, and she trades honeycomb for a goat horn and a mending book! Then, it’s time to build a lighthouse! She timelapses the creation of a sort of rustic, medieval looking but bright lighthouse that covers up her enchanting table so it isn’t out on the rocks. She does some basic enchants on her armour - you never know if it will save your life! A few minutes are spent decorating the interior of her lighthouse, adding flowers and carpets throughout. It’s time to make a name for the empire! Gem names her empire Dawn, the dawn of a new era for her empire! Another new era is coming up for…

Lizzie

Lizzie! 

Lizzie: Come along now child. Get your adorable little fluffy butt in there. 

As the shenanigans with Lizzie and the animals continue, her friendly goblin neighbour pops up of nowhere and convinces her to go to his totally safe goblin empire to see his double skeleton spawner. Lizzie’s death and arrows in her can confirm that this was totally not a scam. She then goes to make a crystal mine so she can get access to the farm. After forgetting the two emeralds in her inventory and getting lost on her way, she wasted absolutely no ressources. After having decorated her mine exit, built a minecart system, obtaining a minister and a deputy minister of transport she finally can get the key to the skeleton farm from fWhip.

But this whole series of events was completely useless as she has no use for bones. 

Lizzie: I may have just been scammed.

After recovering from this, she decided to build her first true building in her empire, a community center. But, being Lizzie of course, she breaks 53 stone shovels terraforming for her new build. All while listening to the beautiful song Ariana Goate made for her. [Goat Screams twice]

After meeting with Scott,

Lizzie: Thank you very much colourful man that is lonely and lives alone here in Chromia. Goodbye!

and Katherine

 Lizzie: [gasps] So many naked sheep!

Katherine: Oh yes, aren’t they beautiful?

for the missing material needed, she can officially start building.

After 7396 blocks were placed, multiple stone shovels broken, the discovering of a “cheat” and four deaths, the community center is now open with a lot of empty space inside. But at least something that isn’t empty inside is Scott’s heart!

Scott

Scott’s plan this episode is to build a barn, before bringing us over to see his newly discovered skeleton spawner! This is incredibly useful as his export this season is colour, so he’ll need all the bonemeal he can get to grow those flowers! He also declares his new distaste for poppies! - …we see you Scott. We see you. 

He gets to work on a barn design he found from bluenerdminecraft that he tweaked to fit in better! He quickly sleeps before heading over to build. After a barn building timelapse, he brings his animals to the barn and starts work on a ‘decorative’ wheat field. …It's not so decorative when you use it as a major food source, but we’ll just go with it.

Last episode, he met his best friend - a llama! We learn there are Lore reasons for his love of the creatures! He finds a llama to take back home, and then does some research to see where to find more llamas! He comes home with 2 llamas and 1 cow  - there was another cow, but it fell off a bridge …it was a perilous journey. He forcefully makes friends with his llamas and gives them coloured carpets representative of his kingdom - Yellow, magenta, and cyan - the same ones my printer uses! Until he bred more of them and now they are the colour of the rainbow … or a certain flag.

He then shows us his skeleton farm and timelapses himself building a cute windmill to cover up the access, which of course is on theme as it is the most colourful windmill in the lands, before spending a little longer than a few minutes  filling the land around it with several different flower fields and a path to link his empire together! An important decision has been made for the empire, and that is its name! Scott announces the new name for his empire is Chromia: the colour kingdom. The tagline being - a kingdom to dye for! Get it, dye? Like d-y-e? … Thank you random twitch viewer for that. Coincidentally, he also has Heterochromia! It just makes sense! 

He picks some more colours for his llama collection. Less colourful than he would like, but colours nonetheless! Or tones, if you’re into colour theory. One of the colours he needs to be The Colour Kingdom is green, so of course it is necessary to build a small cactus farm before the end of the episode! It is very small. Speaking of small things, let’s talk about Joel, our very own 11ft God! 

Joel

This week, our resident god welcomes us back by letting us know that he is tall, strong and sexy. It seems that Sausage has returned the strange shulker child to Joel, with a gift. After he points out the sad state of his base, he decides to instead work on an enchanting setup, but more on that later. He constructs a small bee farm for wax, and once again reassures us that he is the tallest and strongest on the server... I'm starting to sense a pattern there.

He attempts to prank Jimmy while gathering gold from the mesa. However, this plan backfires on him when he crashes into the ground. Materials acquired, he builds an enchanting island...thing (we're not quite sure what it is), complete with a floating path and trees. He then declares piglins to be the new head he's collecting this season, as his hatred for them has somehow managed to overtake his hatred of horses.

While acquiring experience to enchant, he attempts to prank his neighbor, Lizzie and returns the child to sausage with a gift. He then goes to Lizzie's Animal Kingdom to acquire amethyst for his portal build, though the trade is slightly derailed by one of her foxes escaping with some of the goods. With amethyst in hand, he returns home to rebuild his nether portal up in the air.

Sausage

Sausage begins his episode by finding out who the mother of the child is through Pablo the parrot. it is… Smallishbeans! Sausage then proceeds to deliver the child back to him since they share custody over it.

Sausage: Where should I put our child?

 After returning home from the trip he begins to gather resources to build his animal barn but finds that he has no copper. fWhip answers his call for copper and trades him a stack of copper for 9 mending books! seems a little overpriced, but when you need copper, you need copper. Jimmy then wanders by in search of dark oak wood. This leads to Jimmy's entire conversation with Sausage in Spanish (Jimmy doesn’t know Spanish). 

Sausage: ¿Cómo estás usted? Gracias, [unsure of this word].

Jimmy: Oh my gosh, wait-

Finally with no more interruptions he is able to start on his barn.

False

Falsesymmetry starts her episode out by going mining! She grabs enough diamonds to craft a pickaxe, and starts building a portal. Once she emerges on the other side, False finds herself in a crimson forest, where she witnesses a murder and a hogling dance, which are quite rare on Java Edition. After seeing a horrible death, False jumps back into the over world to decorate her enchanting room and cave area! Although afterwards she decides to move the  upstairs, her base is starting to come together. 

Throughout this episode, she states several times that she really does want to get home, and she doesn't really need a big base. Despite this, she goes on to add an iron farm and a large storage space, with a unique sorting system. Taking a step back, False admires her tower, and plans on making it taller so she can see everyone. While admiring her tower, she finds a dead body with clothes suspiciously matching her theme. Who was that man? Why is False taking their clothes? Why is False so paranoid? We may never know.

Joey

False may think she's being watched, but Joey knows he is - he just hopes the skeletrons like the view! The pirate sets out for diamonds, but mines a bit further down than he plans, and into the Deep Dark - and the local guardian isn't too pleased to hear an intruder. In the end, it's not the Warden that gets him, just falling off a cliff, - thankfully, his elytra is okay. What king of a future Neverland is complete without the perfect way to fly? After trying on a few temporary options for wings (and settling on the bones of his enemies), he sets out across the sea in search of treasure and the tools to make his wings less fragile and more magical.

Returning home, he builds the first dock for his port, and prepares to enchant his elytra in the ship's hold - except he doesn't have the levels. Thankfully, fWhip has a skeleton farm nearby that Joey can use, for the small price of the diamond pickaxe he just made. Sadly, Joey forgot that you can't enchant an Elytra from a table, only from books. Better luck next time, Captain! 

Outro

And with that join us next week for more chaos and shenanigans! Thank you for watching, and thanks to everyone helping with the project, check them all out below!

#empires smp #empires season 2 #empires recap #empires season 2 recap

[itstwothirty]

Your girl when she

Sees a photo of me holding a big fish

Is it making fun of nerds

Or is it nerds making dun of themselves

Or is it nerds making fun of everybody

Using the image of an anime girl stripping to tell a story about what women will do for sex

Is it communicating the desires of the woman? Assumed desires? True desires? True according to who?

Or is it assigning meaning to a sexualized body as a vessel of power dynamics

What is want? What about the wantedness of unwanted touch? Consent falls into moments of unwanted ness being claimed as wanted actions

Until a point where the wantedness may become an unwant once again

And so do I ironically think this is funny Bc it makes me think of men on tinder who post pictures of them with a big fish? Bc the literal joke Is just a meme? And the best way to understand the metaphor is to inspect its template

The expectation?

The model?

Your girl when she - alpha position, dominator, assumed property owner, irresistible masculinity

—but can be turned on its head to make fun of something quirky a girl might do and the entitled masculinity becomes a moment of witness and potentially even self reflective moment

—can be used to make fun of yourself by positing your interests as unpopular but subculturallu relevant or even sometimes communicating authentic passion

—easily comes back around to the need for external validation and the need to come after other men and assert dominance through acts of humiliation and honestly perform some made up roles but dance and dress nonetheless

-fish joke-tinder dudes. Unwanted nudes. Or maybe a heart of gold. But really truly an inevitability. They represent the zeitgeist. The disciplined self that seeks no individuality, but pursues life and is inescapable for one confronting the world of desperate men.

-everyone loves using anime girls half naked. Eye catching. Complicated. Why are you still looking? It’s always about forcing u to see something else (italics) something other (Italics) than the message. The something else? Hyper sexualized feminine body. She’s blushing and she’s not human. She’s cyborg. You wanna see a joke about something you see across Facebook, tinder, and Instagram? And it relates to Guys being dudes? Well you have to witness softcore fetish art too. Call her vanilla if u please, but she’s still a 2d girl. What would your mom think? And the woman in lingerie is there and she’s giving herself completely. But the byproduct is youre seeing something made by someone. And the other thought your having is what other things have been done w these girls? What kinds of jokes are being told?

And they feel harmless. Usually a few layers of irony and it’s funny Bc it’s almost intense but then you think about the leftists And the queers and the amount of trauma and advice and perspective on the world is communicated using this hyper sexual used anime girl. I’ve read some serious political theory block text memes with anime girls as the background. It’s like a sigil or in some ways

Claimed aesthetic? Is it just tht these girls are so ubiquitous that no one cares about the implications—we’re a few layers of irony in and so the answer is obfuscated by taste … whatever that is…. And trends.

Memes are visual trends. But they’re also textual. They are a medium. And they matter. Far more complex than the others. Anonymity first, naivety second, curiosity third, and full stop - embodiment. You’re making a claim. A specific claim to the meme when you make it. And that claim is easily lost, but infinitely replicable. And what does ir do when it’s telling the witness so many things at once? It loses its order. It is an agent of chaos. Fractals and more fractals and still a universal language. Language because it shares the same basic units. But ultimately confident in its unstable form. And so it domesticates the users, it teaches us that we are talking in tongues and copper tubes. We all see different things, so we are shown different things, even if it’s the same old anime titties.

[interact-if]

Day 5 of our Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month Featured Author Interviews, continuing with Allie!

Allie, author of College Tennis: Origin Story

Will the once-great Cargill Coyotes succeed in reclaiming the NCAA Div I championship title for the first time since the 90s? Will you succeed in making a name for yourself, both on and off the tennis court? And perhaps more importantly…how much are you willing to sacrifice in pursuit of these dreams? Start at the bottom as a newly-recruited freshman at Cargill university, and claw your way to the championships. Forge lifelong friendships, pursue budding romances, attend classes, and rush term papers -or party- till the sun comes up.

Read more about College Tennis: Origin Story here. Play the Demo here. Tags: Sport, Slice-of-life.

Allie is also the author of Merry Crisis.

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1. Hello! Could you tell us a little bit about to yourself and your project?

Hi! Really thrilled to be part of the IF community - thanks for having me! I’m Singaporean Chinese, 25, an urban planner by day (scattered hobbyist by night/weekend). Nice to meet all of you! :) I have two public projects at the moment. Both are character-driven, slice-of-life IFs that deal with similar themes: family/friendships, coming-of-age in one’s early 20s (CT:OS) and mid/late-20s (Merry Crisis), self-worth and ambition, plus a healthy dose of lightheartedness/romance. In College Tennis: Origin Story, the main character is a college athlete plunged into the chaos of life on a varsity team, with shenanigans on-and-off the tennis court. There’s a fiery, surly-but-secretly-sweet rival, a confident, laid-back captain, a fun-loving hometown best-friend, a snarky, non-committal foreign exchange student, a bumbling fool of a roommate, a well-meaning but potentially estranged dad, and a suite of other characters. Merry Crisis is a little closer to home, and certainly more of a hobby project. The current demo chapter was written in 2-3 feverish nights, and centers around an MC who lives in New York post-college, and returns home (to Singapore) for Christmas. A week back home - nothing can go wrong, right? I envision this IF to be somewhat of an Asian-take on holiday movies - heartwarming, a little sad, a little frustrating/traumatic, but big-hearted, all the same.

Q2. What inspired your current project?

For College Tennis: Origin Story, the simple answer is that I love sports games, especially sports games that focus on the story / inner-conflicts, i.e. the “heart/soul”, rather than pure mechanics. What goes on in a tennis player’s head when they’re down 40-love at a crucial point? When I discovered IF, everything just clicked. It’s the perfect format for exploring these stories because it allows both introspection and reader/player agency. 

Merry Crisis was born purely from being back home after living overseas for more than 4 years. It was… an experience. I wanted to write something about the complex relationship we have with our families, our birthplaces, and our first-loves. And capture all the bittersweet feelings about loss of innocence (knowing what lies beyond the grass pastures of one’s birthplace), the loss of freedom (going back to being somebody’s child, somebody’s sibling, etc. rather than untethered, foreign), plus the things that one gains, too, by ‘coming home’ - the immediate feeling of familiarity, of ‘belonging’ to a place.

Q3. Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

For College Tennis: Origin Story, I write based on what it was like to play in a varsity team in an American college as a person-of-color, and a non-American queer person. A lot of the characters are based off of real-life friends (and uh, exes). I hope that brings some…soul, or flavor, and a bit of realism to the characters and their stories. I also try to borrow from my own experiences for the biggest plot-points/beats that I’ve planned out, e.g. when writing Rayyan and Tobin, I channel the experience of needing/wanting to prove one’s worth, to be seen as perfect, or worthy, or ‘twice-as-good’, as a POC. With Genevieve/Guillaume, I wanted to write about what it was like to feel like college is a transient, fleeting dream I’ll wake up from one day. Merry Crisis is essentially me forcing everyone to inhabit my world, if only for a week over Christmas. Short answer: The IF very much pulls from my own experiences/feelings, mostly of simultaneously loving and wanting to flee this place I call home. Long answer: As a queer Singaporean woman, you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been asked when I’m going to get married, whether I’m ever going to have kids, and whether I’m queer because no dude would possibly like me (insert laundry list of potential reasons: because I’m too tan, westernised, argumentative, over-educated etc.) Even my straight friends grapple with the same expectations, especially as we approach our mid/late-20s. I wanted to give everyone the dubious honor of coming up with their own answers to these pesky questions :)

Q4. What are you most excited about your project?

Finishing it, so I can go write something else. Just kidding (not really).

For both College Tennis: Origin Story and Merry Crisis, I’m excited about fleshing out the characters, their motives, feelings, backgrounds, and seeing where the story leads. I love character-driven books, movies etc. and I get excited thinking about all the directions and themes I can explore by telling these different stories (as well as through MC’s possible relationships - platonic or otherwise - with these characters!) 

P.S. For Merry Crisis, The romantic options are meant to be quite distinct people, and if I’m to get slightly ‘literary’, they also symbolize a different kind of archetypal relationship with Singapore / societal pressures. There’s the American-ex, a soul-mate, representing everything that feels ‘right’ but irrevocably different; Then there’s the Singaporean-ex, aloof, successful, the epitome of what MC could’ve been, if they’d toed the line, stayed home. Then there’s the neighbour, loose and brash, unperturbed by the rules / conventions that seem to constrict both local and foreign worlds.

Q5. What has your experience writing an IF and with the IF community been like?

I know it sounds cheesy, but I love writing and reading IFs, I love the IF community, mostly because I love the two-way conversation between creators and their audience. It’s so great how collaborative and active and interactive and nurturing/nourishing the IF community feels. A big thank you to everyone who has supported me in some way or form, and to everyone who’s played/read the IFs or left a note. It most definitely made me smile!

Q6. What changes in the IF community would you like to see?

IF/text-based games leave so much more room for non-mainstream stories to be told (after all, how many blockbuster movies, or triple-A games feature main characters/ROs that are non-white, or queer, or non-binary etc.?!) I’d love to see the IF community continue to grow, and continue to feature diverse voices/stories!

Q7. What piece of advice would you give to fellow creators?

Don’t be afraid to take a step back, and go do something else that seems unrelated (I’m a big believer in the notion that everything we do provides us with unique perspectives, experiences, relationships etc. that we can bring to the other aspects of our life). Take breaks! I also love the idea of “tinkering” and experimenting, because it removes the pressure of creating something great. Creating (and celebrating) shitty things, things that fail, things that’ll never be completed, ugly/imperfect things etc etc. is so important!

#if: events #Asian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month #API 2022

[riversofmars]

i wonder if you might do a story on river/13 going to a gay bar in space and they meet a bunch of previous companions/friends there too? (definitely jack for sure!) thanks

Okay first off, I love this prompt!! And it’s perfect for Pride month! I may, however, have taken some liberties and gone a bit bigger than a simple gay bar.... anyway :D I set out to write the gayest thing you’ll read all month... I hope I’ve succeeded! Happy Pride!

Invitation With A Kiss

“So what is this place, Doc?“ Graham asked as they made their way to the door of the TARDIS.

“Had an invitation!“ The Doctor retorted with a grin double-checking her psychic paper to make sure she had the right place and time.

“Who from?“ Yaz asked curiously.

“Ah, well, you know…“ The Doctor tried to wave it off but Yaz was quick enough to snatch the psychic paper from her fingers before she could try to hide it.

“Signed with a kiss?“ Yaz gaped and a wide grin spread across her features. Finally something to truly wind their friend up with and Ryan smirked as well:

“You sure you want us to tag along?“

“Oh, shut up, it’s not exactly a private party.“ The Doctor huffed trying to hide the blush that crept onto her cheeks. Quickly, she opened the door before any of her friends could comment and stepped outside.

“Oh wow, I don’t think I have words for this…“ Yaz started laughing as she joined the Doctor. They found themselves at the side of a most colourful parade. There were rainbows EVERYWHERE! Balloons, confetti, flags, people were dancing, hugging, kissing, having the time of their lives. “Please tell me this is…“

“Planet Pride.“ The Doctor grinned and put her hands on her hips as she took in the atmosphere. It was elating. There was a mild breeze that carried music and exotic smells, the sun was blazing down but not unpleasantly and the joy surrounding them was almost palpable. “Think of your 21st century Pride celebrations, multiply it by, I don’t know, a whole galaxy celebrating togetherness and inclusivity, and you get the greatest queer party this side of the universe.“ The Doctor turned to her friends who were still in awe.

“Isn’t this like… the future?“ Yaz finally found her voice and looked to the Doctor who was surprised to find concern in her eyes: “Is there a need for Pride still? Like I would have thought the issue would long be resolved and…“

“Oh it is, don’t worry!“ The Doctor grinned as she understood what she was getting at. “Doesn’t erase the past though. It’s part of the history of humankind… very sad, pointless, stupid part, but history nonetheless. Can’t and shouldn’t erase history, else you can’t learn from past mistakes… But let’s face it, Pride is brilliant. By this point it’s just an excuse to have one hell of a party.“ She pushed her hands into her pockets and they started walking down the street.

“This is brilliant.“ The Fam quickly found themselves accessorised by strangers, flower garlands and all sorts of amusing party hats were being passed out.

“Who’s the invite from, then?“ Ryan asked as they quickly caught up with the Doctor who was looking around the sea of people, clearly searching for someone.

“My wife.“ The Doctor answered knowing full well that there was no way she could keep it from them. She stopped and gnawed her bottom lip as she scanned the crowd. Where was she? Like she stood a chance of finding her amongst all these people…

“Your what now?“ Graham’s face fell and he nearly ran into her.

“Wife.“ The Doctor retorted matter-of-factly looking back to her friends. “We’re here to celebrate Pride, remember?“

“Yes but… you’re married?!“ Yaz exclaimed and carried on teasingly: “Who would agree to that?!“

“Well, we have always wondered that at one point or another…“ A voice sounded behind them and they all whirled around.

“Jack!“ The Fam exclaimed in unison as Captain Jack Harkness saluted with a grin.

“Hello, Doctor.“ He scooped the Doctor up in a tight hug who squeaked as the air was pushed from her lungs. “Fancy seeing you here! Are you ready for a party?“

“Hello Jack.“ She managed as she tried to extricate herself from his arms. “Bit too much to drink already?“ Jack ignored her comment and turned to the Fam, extending his arms.

“Ryan. Yaz. … Graham.“ He winked at Graham who blushed a little. Jack’s flirting was not lost on him or anyone else for that matter. “Missed me?“ He grinned. “Did you come here to see me?“

“While I knew you’d be here, no, not exactly.“ The Doctor retorted, trying to let him down gently.

“Well, that’s just as well.“ Jack huffed, trying not to look too offended. “I’m here with a Doctor of my own anyway. Though I seem to have lost him… and Donna just keeps trying to pass me drink after drink so…“

“You’re here with me? And Donna?“ The Doctor’s eyes widened in shock.

“There’s another version of you here?“ Yaz asked, utterly confused. The Doctor had told them plenty of times about how she had been a different person before and how Time Lords could regenerate their body, but they had never actually seen proof of it.

“And I don’t remember it… timelines crossing…“ The Doctor realised running her hands through her hair nervously. There was potential for disastrous chaos here.

“Doctor?“ A voice called and they all looked around. The girl that had called out wasn’t looking at them though, she was scanning the crowd and turned to another girl whose hand she was holding. “He must be here somewhere, that’s his TARDIS over there.“ They were searching for the Doctor too.

“Well, I’ve got a Doctor here if you’re looking for one!“ Jack called out without thinking. He didn't know the girls but the look on the Doctor’s face revealed that she did. She was simply too stunned to respond just yet. The girls looked at Jack who waved with a wide grin. “I think you mean to say: Her TARDIS. Times change!“

“Bill…“ The Doctor finally found her voice again as she stared at her long lost friend. There she was. Brilliant, beautiful Bill Potts. Cyberman no longer, holding on to her girlfriend’s hand and shock painted all over her face as the realisation hit her.

“Oh my GOD!“ Bill exclaimed, frozen to the spot.

“And Heather.“ The Doctor was beginning to grin now and hurried over.

“You have to be joking!“ Bill was still in shock, she shook her head to herself as the Doctor came to a halt in front of her with the Fam and Jack following close behind.

“Hello Bill!“ The Doctor smirked, amused by how her brain was reeling. “What? Not even a hug?“ She chuckled as Bill was finally pulled from her stupor.

“I really don't think I should hug you…“ Bill found her voice at last as she looked her up and down. “Cause you’re like… dead hot right now…“ She glanced at Heather who just laughed. “But also, you’re my weird space grandpa! So come here!“ She pulled the Doctor in a tight hug laughing.

“Fam, this is my friend Bill and her girlfriend Heather.“ The Doctor introduced them all.

“Lovely to meet you.“ Heather smiled. “I have a feeling you will be seeing quite a few familiar faces.“ She told the Doctor with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, it’ll get complicated when you run into yourself…“ Bill grinned, amused at the very prospect of it.

“He’s here, too?“ The Doctor’s face fell. Things were bound to get even more complicated with two of her former regenerations around!

“Well yeah, we were looking for him, lost him somewhere along the way…“ Bill explained. “Oh God…“

“What?“ The Doctor frowned, alarmed at the dread in her friend’s voice.

“Quickly, hide!“ She pulled the Doctor and Heather behind a make-shift beach bar that served all sorts of colourful cocktails. The other’s mirrored their actions. While they didn’t know what was going on, it seemed like the right course of action.

“Bill, what…“ The Doctor started to protest but forgot where she was going with it when her eyes fell on two very familiar people, making their way towards the bar.

“I really don’t know why you insisted on coming here.“ Missy gave a huff as they came within earshot.

“Why not? It’s fun.“ Clara retorted, amused at the displeasure on the Time Lady’s face.

“I don’t see what’s so exciting about drawing rainbows on your face and parading around the street.“ Missy rather stood out in her almost completely black outfit.

“Humour me.“ Clara retorted, who - in her colourful waitress uniform - looked the complete opposite. “I’ll make it worth your while.“ She looped her arm around Missy’s.

“You better.“ Missy pursed her lips, looking to the girl at her side, then continued to scan the crowd.

“If you didn’t want to come, why did you?“ Clara asked and scoffed as Missy paid her little attention and kept looking around: “You’re hoping the Doctor will be here, aren’t you. And here I was thinking you actually wanted to spend time with me.“

“Doctor, who are they?“ Yaz whispered to the Doctor, struggling to follow what was going on. Those two women clearly knew her and the Doctor seemed to know them too as all colour had drained from her face.

“Doctor, what do you want to do?“ Bill whispered to her but she didn’t respond, she was transfixed.

“Don’t get me wrong, Clara, dear, I enjoy a booty call as much as the next Time Lady.“ Missy smirked, looking back to Clara. “Particularly one where my sweet little plaything is intoxicated on sweet drinks and self righteousness but if I just happen to run into the Doctor and get the opportunity to kill him, that would be a two birds one stone kind of scenario. Particularly if I get to mortally embarrass him by putting you in a rather compromising position first.“ Missy ran her fingertips along Clara’s jaw, pushing her head up a little.

“Right, that’s it!“ The Doctor exclaimed. “Clara!“ She called, marching out of their hiding place.

“Huh?“ Clara and Missy looked around confused, annoyed at the moment being so rudely interrupted.

“Oh God…“ Bill groaned and they all rushed after the Doctor.

“Sorry dear, this is a private conversation, pick a number and I’ll get to you in a sec.“ Missy gave a dismissive wave of her hand, refocusing her attention on Clara but the Doctor wouldn’t have it.

“Missy, get your hands off her right now!“ The Doctor threatened.

“Who’s this, Doctor?“ Yaz asked, hoping for an explanation.

“Doctor?“ Missy raised her eyebrows, her lips pulling into a smirk.

“Doctor?“ Clara echoed, surprised, excited and embarrassed in equal measures.

“What are you doing with her??“ The Doctor demanded to know off Clara as she wildly gestured at her nemesis.

“My my my, isn’t this some sight. Finally had the upgrade as well?“ Missy ignored the comment as she regarded her childhood friend’s new body. She snaked her arm around Clara and pulled her close to her side.

“Missy!“ The Doctor growled. “Get away from her!“

“Why?“ Missy feigned innocence and hurt. “She asked me here? She wants me here. You could even say she wants me .“ She gave a triumphant smirk and the Doctor flushed scarlet with embarrassment and anger.

“Clara, is that…“

“Uhhh…“ Clara blushed even more deeply than the Doctor herself.

“Does anyone else feel like they're slightly out of the loop?“ Ryan piped up, trying to make sense of the situation in front of them. For whatever reason, the Doctor was interrupting what looked like a perfectly consensual, happy date…

“This is the Master.“ The Doctor spat angrily. “Earlier version… don’t let the lipstick fool you, just as deadly.“

“Lipstick makes for a wonderful weapon, particularly in the right hands. Just ask your lovely wife.“ Missy retorted with a smile. “Where is she, by the way? You’re not here single , are you?“ She tightened the grip on Clara for emphasis.

“Missy!“ Clara slapped the Time Lady’s shoulder. “Come on, we’re all here to have some fun, can’t we just do that.“

“I can have fun with you anywhere I like.“ Missy smirked, moving her hand lower to the hem of her skirt, just enough to make the Doctor nearly lose it. “Fine. Alright.“ She let go of her. “Be a good little puppy now and fetch me a drink then.“ She smirked at the Doctor who balled her hands to tight fits, looking like she was about to burst. Missy laying her hands on one of her friends like that was just too much.

“Anyone else for a cocktail?“ Clara turned back to the group, hoping to move to conversation along to where she wouldn’t be mortally embarrassed in front of her best friend.

“I’ll help you carry.“ Heather volunteered quickly following Clara to the bar.

“So the Master used to be a woman?“ Graham exclaimed at last, when the situation seemed to have defused a little.

“Spoilers.“ Missy tutted at him.

“This is going to get very complicated with everyone here.“ The Doctor had to agree. “You can’t reveal anything about anyone’s future or we could be ripping space and time apart.“

“Yes, this is quite the explosive combination.“ Missy had to concede as she regarded the Doctor’s entourage. “Which begs the question, Doctor, what brings you here? Other than the rainbow candy floss?“

“River invited me.“ The Doctor shot back, almost too quickly, as if to make the point that Missy didn’t have one over in her.

“Well, she’s here somewhere…“ Missy smirked, delighting in the fact that she knew something the Doctor didn’t. “Busy though, really busy…“

“Busy?“ The Doctor frowned. She didn’t like the way Missy was saying that but she couldn’t help her hearts somersaulting just a little bit at the confirmation that her wife was here somewhere. She would get to see her again. It had been such a long time.

“Your bride dances at numerous weddings, as usual.“ Missy hummed just as Clara and Heather returned with colourful cocktails. “Thank you dear.“ She took a bright red drink that was unsettlingly reminiscent of blood and took the opportunity to press a firm kiss to Clara’s lips. “Oh I should start doing this to all your companions, the look on your face!“ Missy laughed at the Doctor’s expression. She looked like she was about to throw a punch. “Or, you know, your wife… now that would be fun.“

“Watch it!“ The Doctor growled threateningly.

“Wherever is Professor Song?“ Missy hummed in a sing-song voice and sip her drink in delight.  

“Clara!“ Everyone looked around as two female voices chanted in unison.

“Oh hello!“ Clara recognised Vastra and Jenny immediately as they were heading straight towards them.

“More old friends?“ Ryan asked and the Doctor’s face brightened. It was hard to worry about the timeline when it was so nice to see so many of her friends.

“Vastra! Jenny!“ She grinned at them in greeting and while Jenny frowned, confused, her wife’s superior senses helped her recognise her immediately.

“Doctor!“ The lizard woman looked at her in shock. “Now that makes a change.“ She looked her up and down, surprised, but not unpleasantly. Jenny must have noticed the look on her face as she gave Vastra’s arm a playful slap.

“Oi! Married!“ She reminded her. “Hello Doctor.“ She carried on cheerfully and gave a wave to everyone else, who, with the exception of Clara, they didn’t know yet.

“It’s getting rather crowded, isn’t it.“ Missy pursed her lips shooting Clara a glance with the intention of getting out of there soon but her companion was more concerned with meeting the Doctor’s other friends, past and present. “Oi!“ She shot Jack a glare who was just putting his arm around Clara all too familiarly.

“Sorry, dear.“ Vastra gave her wife an appeasing smile and turned back to the Doctor. “We didn’t expect to see you, Doctor. At least not like this.“

“Don’t tell me.“ The Doctor groaned, sensing where this was going.

“We didn’t mean to interrupt, we just thought, when we saw Miss Oswald, perhaps she’d know where the Doctor was, a younger one, that is. Suspenders too, but bow tie…“ Vastra explained apologetically. They had lost the Doctor they had arrived with quite a while ago.

“Is that who you’re here with?“ The Doctor asked, wincing at the prospect of yet another version of hers running around this place.

“Following an invitation from your wife, as I understand it. He didn’t want to go alone.“ Jenny added.

“Where is he now?“ The Doctor asked, sensing where all this was going.

“That is a very good question.“ Vastra agreed and they all looked around, everyone scanning the crowd for their particular Doctors.

“I already have a very bad feeling about this…“ The Doctor sighed.

“Are you sure you want to find your wife?“ Missy snickered, highly amused.

“I would if I knew how.“ The Doctor huffed, as a cheerful voice carried over from the other side of the cocktail bar:

“That River Song really is something, isn’t she.“ Everyone looked around and saw a blonde pulling herself onto a bar stool, setting down a nearly empty glass.

“Don’t say it like that.“ A second woman, brunette with shoulder length hair, huffed as she climbed onto a stool beside her. The Doctor looked around to her friends, none of whom recognised the two women, with the exception of herself and Missy who pursed her lips with intrigue. Now there were two people she hadn't seen in quite some time.

“Like what?“ Helen laughed, twirling the straw of her drink between her fingers.

“Like you admire the woman…“ Liv answered, clearly not enjoying the conversation.

“You’re just jealous.“ Helen retorted playfully.

“Jealous? Of what? Don’t be ridiculous.“ Liv shot back a little too quickly.

“Then stop sulking!“ Helen grinned. “The Doctor is having fun, leave him to it. And let’s have some fun too! These cocktails are really good…“ She waved at the bar keep for another.

“And really strong, you sure you want another one.“ Liv couldn’t help but point out.

“Most definitely.“ Helen nodded full of enthusiasm and nearly fell off her stool. Perhaps she had had a little bit too much after all. Liv was quick to hold her up. “Thank you Liv, you’re the best you know that?“ Helen smiled happily and reached out to stroke her friend’s cheek.

“I try.“ Liv replied, blushing at the gesture and her friend pulled her forward into a tight hug.

“No really, you are…“ Helen held her tightly, nuzzling into the crook of her neck and Liv didn’t know what to do with her hands. She nearly fell off her stool herself but she didn’t want to pull back either, so she wrapped her arms around Helen’s shoulders, glad she wouldn’t be able to see her blush. Helen was completely oblivious to her discomfort, she just carried on mumbling: “You’re so kind and clever and brave and… so pretty…“

“I think you’ve had enough to drink…“ Liv pulled away, momentarily worried for her friend’s state but Helen wouldn’t let her go. Instead she grabbed Liv’s head and kissed her.

“I had money on that, you know.“ Missy smirked as the Doctor just watched, delighted and confused in equal measures. How had she never picked up on this when they were travelling together?

“Oh God…“ Helen pulled away when she realised what she was doing. But only after thoroughly snogging her best friend’s face off. She blushed deeply, her intoxication seemingly gone in an instant as sobering reality hit her. Liv blinked overwhelmed still, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest. “Sorry, I was just… getting carried away and…“ Helen stammered, letting go of her but this time it was Liv that wouldn’t let go.

“You can do it again… you know in the spirit of… or just because you want to…“ Liv bit her bottom lip nervously.

“I don’t know why I did that…“ Helen carried on stuttering until Liv’s words sunk in: “What?“

“Oh Helen… my beautiful, clueless friend…“ Liv shook her head and laughed.

“Sorry, I have no idea what I’m doing.“ Helen admitted, blushing scarlet.

“I do.“ Liv assured her more confidently and leaned in to kiss her again when Helen stopped her.

“Liv…“

“What?“ Liv’s heart sank, wondering if Helen had thought better of it but she realised her friend was stopped for another reason. She was looking past her and Liv noticed they had an audience.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account.“ Missy gave a wave of her hand when she realised she had been spotted. Of course, she was the only one Helen Sinclair and Liv Chenka would recognise. “Wasn’t sure where we were, timelines and all!“

“You again!“ Helen exclaimed and Missy sighed. Why were the Doctor’s friends always so stuck up on the past? So what if she had kidnapped and nearly killed her?

“I was hoping we would bump into you again, now I can finally…“ Liv was about to go for Missy but the Doctor quickly intervened.

“No, no, no, none of that!“ She held Liv back and Missy chuckled.

“Come on, Doctor, if Miss Chenka wasn’t to play, that can be arranged.“ Her eyes flashed dangerously.

“Missy! Timelines!“ The Doctor scolded. The time lines were already all messed up, without anyone losing their life before their time. Missy gave a shrug.

“Doctor?“ Liv echoed, looking at the blonde in front of her bewildered. She took a step back, accepting that maybe violence was not the right course of action right now.

“While I’m sure the Doctor is elated to see you two finally stopped doing that silly little I don’t know how she’s feeling about me - but what if she doesn’t like me - but she’s from the past - but she’s from the future - I can’t ruin our friendship dance of yours, she’d rather like to know where her wife is and you seem to know.“ Missy sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“The Doctor?“ Helen repeated incredulously.

“Wow…“ Was all Liv could manage staring at the blonde and Helen, gripped by a wave of jealousy, hit her arm:

“Liv!“

“Not to interrupt the happy reunion or whatever but I think your search is over, Doctor.“ Jack announced and everyone looked around to where he was pointing.

“She didn’t just invite you, did she…“ Missy chuckled as they watched River push through the crowd accompanied by no less than thirteen Doctors, all of them competing for her attention and affection.

“She invited all of us, didn’t she…“ The Doctor sighed, realising that the same message she had received would have popped up on every other Doctor’s psychic paper as well.

“Go on then, Doctor.“ Jack put his arm around her slender shoulders and pulled her along. “Because if you don’t go over there, I might.“ He smirked. “Professor Song!“ He called before the Doctor could protest. River looked over to them, grinning, as she recognised Jack.

“Captain.“ She smirked flirtily as she sauntered over, while the other Doctors shot Jack annoyed glances.

“Think this is who you were looking for.“ Jack gave the Doctor a shove forward and decided that for once, he should be the wing man instead of going for the prize himself.

“Hello River.“ The Doctor managed a half smile and her feelings were incredibly conflicting. She was thrilled to see her wife; who looked beautiful in a flowing dress with the sun dancing in her curls. She was jealous that the other Doctor’s got there before her. And most importantly, she was annoyed: How could she have been so irresponsible?! All of space and time could rip apart if they put a foot wrong!

“My my my, now that makes a change.“ River smirked as she only took a moment to realise who she was. She stepped closer, looking her up and down far more obviously would have been necessary. The Doctor blushed and decided to go on the offensive to get herself out of the awkward situation:

“You know you will have to make them forget!“ She pointed to all her other selves. “This could end so badly!“

“Timelines will do that. Relax, Sweetie. None of you will remember a thing after crossing your own time stream. I can’t believe I’ve had to have this conversation fourteen times.“ River sighed but the expression on her face indicated that she had no problem repeating herself with her spouses. “Now, less sulking, how about a kiss for your old wife, hm?“ She smirked, grabbed the Doctor by the collar of her coat. She pulled her in for a kiss that quickly muted any sort of protest.

Just then, a confetti cannon went off, dousing the group in a rainbow of colours.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.“ Missy grinned as the Doctor’s friends shot her accusing glances and she hid her sonic umbrella behind her back. “Anyway, I wonder if there are more versions of me about…“

The Doctor didn’t even notice. She was too occupied kissing her wife to the chorus of jealous calls from several of her past selves. She had missed her so much .

#doctor who #fanfiction #pride #Thirteen #thirteenth doctor #river song #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #Yasmin Khan #Bill Potts #clara oswald #missy #the master #the doctor #madame vastra #Jenny Flint #Helen Sinclair #Liv chenka #Space wives #river x thirteen #thirteen/river #liv chenka/helen sinclair #clara/missy #madame Vastra/jenny flint #femslash #wlw #pride month #prompt #dw #fluff

[freddieslater]

i’m gay i’m mentally i’ll i’m hungover and i’m new in town this is gonna be such a chaotic ask

i’m on floss’s intro episode but really i’m more invested in the fact that faith and elektra really should’ve been a couple. dammit cbbc

i swear literally half these kids have queer energy?? i mean. liam and frank?? elektra and faith??? tyler? lily? and we’ve talked about johnny. they’re all just so wonderfully varying degrees of queer-coded and we just get more of them in later seasons too-

hey why do both tyler and ryan have episodes where one of the other boys gets a job at a cafe, so they go to the cafe, cause chaos and end up banned. that is an oddly specific similarity

once again thinking about how similar rick and ryan are, and specifically about how it makes so much sense that tyler and ryan were close, since tyler and rick knew each other since burnywood

‘a day in the past’ time!!! the best of the group trip episodes, except maybe that one beach one from like s4

oh my god floss is so tiny in her cute lil green dress???? also i get the feeling the events of this episode had,, an impact on her worldview

we stan feminist rachel in this household, she is an absolute icon??? she deserved better than being stuck working at that house

ahhh another episode of johnny being a dick and also wildly repressed- this kid needs therapy and it honestly kinda pisses me off that they took this gay-coded character with a ton of self-loathing and issues with anger and authority…. and had him join the army.

harry is just vibing wearing a straw hat and honestly? valid

i love how george is trying to correct mike on how to manage children,, he really should’ve seen the problems coming

you know… ryan and johnny really did have a lot in common huh. queer-coded boys who are regularly the villain of the episode, are manipulative and have anger issues, have younger sisters who they’re protective of but also controlling of, and ended up leaving by joining a government service, just after their shitty parent came back into their life-

mo! he was such a wasted character huh. he only got like. 3 episodes that actually explored his past at all, and he was around for like 4 seasons?

johnny calling tee “patron saint of lost causes” as if he isn’t the most annoying bitch at the dg at that point. like i love johnny but. come on

i feel like you could make a really difficult “who said this” quiz with just quotes from johnny and ryan

i’m gonna end this ask but uh. yeah no not gonna be the last ask of the day i’m so sorry

oh god, what a combination. let's go!

Floss' intro episode is a really good one for Faith and Elektra. if cbbc weren't capital 'c' cowards, they would have given them to us.

you're not even wrong, practically all of the kids have queer energy. there's so much potential in all of them!!

that... that IS a specific parallel. huh. very interesting. not that it really has anything to do with it, but it's fun that the parallel is between Tyler and Ryan, two characters who end up with a pretty close dynamic.

oh okay, you led on into that yourself! (you can tell I don't read ahead, I just reply paragraph by paragraph) it does make a lot of sense that Tyler and Ryan were so close when thinking about how similar Ryan and Rick can be at times. I really like the idea of Tyler just being drawn to Ryan initally because of that without really knowing why.

'a day in the past' is truly an iconic episode!

tiny Floss!! honestly, you're probably right.

I will forever adore Rachel, I imagine she probably quit after that day and moved on to a similar job but with a boss who was all for educating about feminism and women's rights and how the treatment that women (and servants in general) was unfair, and made sure that while the kids were playing the parts with some accuracy, that they were learning what was right and wrong at the same time.

whenever I think about Johnny joining the army, I just want to scream. he needed help, not a gun and a ton of more trauma. the kid lashed out at the smallest loss of control due to childhood abuse and they thought the best way to help him through that was... war? it doesn't make any sense. I like to live in an au where Johnny is talked out of joining by everyone. they get him a therapist to talk to instead, telling him that if, after a few sessions, he still thinks the army is what he wants, then they won't stop him. but as the therapist gets him to open up, he begins to see that the army isn't for him; he just wanted to feel in control of something, like he was actively fighting against something, stepping back into the role of protector because he wasn't sure he was good for anything if he wasn't doing that. he's just finished school so he enrolls at college instead, gets in and moves on-campus, where he takes an interest in business and social work for children. maybe he even meets a guy in his classes and they hit it off and he finally understands a part of himself that has been weighing on him for years. give me queer, happy Johnny who does not join the army but has a nice, peaceful life! he realizes he can protect kids like him and Tee, giving him that feeling he so craved, and making a difference to other care kids.

harry was precious with that straw hat. (I loved my one trip to a victorian school, dressing up in the outfits. I only despised the cane.)

yeah, that was a pretty telling sign. just because the guy has seen a few groups of school days for a couple hours a day, does not mean he actually knows the first thing about them. and he simply refused to listen to mike trying to explain that they all live together so they had to be more sensitive and make sure there was no upset, because they wouldn't be able to just go home and forget about it by the next day.

yes!! the Ryan and Johnny parallels are just wonderful. hmm. a gifset may be required for visual proof of this. I will work on this.

Mo was SUCH a wasted character, you're right. just as we're talking about queer-coded characters as well. Mo had some of the biggest queer energy around, specifically around Bailey. but yeah, it bothers me how little they did with him considering everything they had to work with? when he's up in the attic with Tee in his first episode, he says that he and his 'parents' lived in a shed. not only that, but he also said that his 'mum' didn't like him very much, and we saw he reacted with fear to the idea of Mike 'hosing him down' AND he put himself in the corner when he thought he had done something wrong. a lot of this feels implies at least some form of neglect at worse and active abuse at worst. but this was of course never mentioned again. all we got after was the revelation that his 'parents' were actually his grandparents who STOLE HIM from his parents because his grandad thought they were unable to look after him due to their cerebral palsy and from them leaving him alone in the house with the door open at the age of 18 months. there's just a lot to work with and yet? we get like three episodes focused on him then he's gone.

it's funny, Johnny calling Tee 'patron saint of lost causes' like he isn't the exact reason that she is that way. she's always protected him and stuck up for him when everyone else has deemed him unredeemable for the things he's done or said. he is the biggest 'lost cause' in her life and while she's gotten mad at him and tried to 'disown' him a couple of times, she's still been there for him in the end.

don't tempt me, I will absolutely make that quiz.

skdfhsk it's okay!! sorry I couldn't get to this ask (or the rest) sooner, but I'm happy to have so much to reply to now!

#ds-umbrella-manufacturing-co #ask away earthlings! #tdg #the dumping ground #floss guppy #elektra x faith #johnny taylor #ryan reeves #tyler lewis #rick barber #tyler x ryan #mo michaels

[carriagelamp]

I read more books this month than I anticipated. I should probably wait before doing a February book round up, but I already feel like I’m struggling to decide which ones to cut from my list so I’m doing it this weekend instead of next. If I read much next week I’ll bump ‘em up into March’s round up

Asterix and the Missing Scroll / Chieftain’s Daughter

I got the last two “new” Asterix books out of the library so I could officially say I had read them all. Over all my opinion is… they’re fine! None of these would ever become one of my favourites, but they’re all fine stories. The art is good, it is completely in-line with the original, and the stories are… fine. I liked The Missing Scroll quite a bit more than The Chieftain’s Daughter but I never find a ~hurr hurr teenagers~ plotline that interesting, whereas I do enjoy seeing Romans get chased down by unicorns so that’s probably not surprising. There’s some spark I can’t put my finger on that the new Asterix books just seem to be missing though… a bit of humour or cleverness or something. Still, they’re fine reads if you’ve been hungry for more Asterix and I’m glad I read them. (Though the library gave me the American translation of The Chieftain’s Daughter, something I didn’t realize until I started reading and realized that this is wrong??? I’ve been reading these books since I could read and I know this is wrong??? What the hell is happening??? The I realized the publisher was different and I simmered in fury the whole time I read it — WHY ARE YOU CHANGING NAMES AND WORD CHOICES IN A WELL ESTABLISHED SERIES THAT ALREADY HAS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION YOU ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU DUMBING DOWN THE LANGUAGE AAAUGH

The Bride Was A Boy

This one was cute! The Bride Was A Boy is an autobiographical manga written by a transwoman recounting her experience with transitioning, meeting her boyfriend, and eventually getting married. It’s mostly done in a 4-panel style and is interspersed with lots of information about the LGBT community, particularly in Japan. A lot of it was stuff I was already familiar with, but I still found it adorable and a very worthwhile read. it would be a fantastic book for young queer people who are looking for more of an introduction into international queer space

Cul de Sac: Children At Play

Cul de Sac is just a weird, fun newspaper comic series about the children who live in a small neighbourhood. It fully taps into the children-as-semi-feral-chaos-agents, and there’s something hilariously nostalgic about the whole thing. Lots of times when stories try to portray children there’s always something… wrong about it, something that doesn’t mesh with true childhood, but in this comic I can see glimpses of my grimy, dirty-covered self as a preschooler running around the pages. I would definitely recommend trying them!

The Cremation of Sam McGee

I reread The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew and man, they don’t stop being buckwild. These are two really famous Canadian poems that were then illustrated by equally famous Canadian artist Ted Harrison. Harrison’s style is gorgeous and distinct and given what strangely grisly stories these poems are they fit the mood perfectly. Everything feels just a little tilted and wrong and unsettling. If you enjoy an occasional poem (especially ones that are super fun to read out loud) and haven’t read these before, I would recommend them! Or do what my teachers did, and read Sam Gee to a young child in your life and watch them be baffled and concerned and horrified.

There are strange things done / in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold...

The Gryphon’s Lair

The second book of the Royal Guide to Monster Slaying series written by Kelley Armstrong; I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book! It’s a very cool fantasy series because it really leans into environmental stewardship and the importance of studying animals and conservation so you can find ways to live alongside a healthy ecosystem. In this book Rowan is officially accepted as the Royal Monster Hunter, which means a whole new set of trials and burdens. She has to contend with a baby gryphon that is becoming increasingly large and dangerous, plotting family members, doubt about her abilities, a potential curse, and a daunting quest deep into the mountains in order to set things right. If you’re looking for some very gentle high fantasy, this series delivers.

Hogan’s Heroes comics

What to say here. Anyone following this blog has suffered the knowledge that I’ve been rewatching Hogan’s Heroes lately. When I found out that there was a short-lived, shitty comic series in the 60s? Of course I had to hunt them down. And so I’ve read them! And they sure were a shitty comic series from the 60s! They were, shall we say, of wildly varying quality. Some were actually really funny (like #5, it easily had the best art and best jokes imho), others were a slog, and most were fine and amusing enough to read the whole way through but not much more.

If you don’t know what Hogan’s Heroes is about: it was a 1960s sitcom that took place in a WWII POW camp, in which the Allied prisoners trapped there had a massive, complex sabotage/spy ring right underneath the camp. The whole show is about constantly outwitting the bumbling Germans while keeping up the pretense that they’re all just normal prisoners. The show is hilariously funny and I would recommend that, even if I can’t say the same for the comics unless you’re like me and are just really thirsty for more content...

Magic Misfits: The Fourth Suit (Ripley)

The final book of Neil Patrick Harris’ middle grade series, The Magic Misfits. In this fourth book, the group is fragmented and forced to meet in secret to avoid notice from the mysterious and powerful Kalagan whose cruel machinations have already turned the quiet little town on its ears, putting people’s lives in peril and destroy Leila’s fathers’ magic shop. The Misfits are going to need all their skills to finally unmask this sinister magician and break the mesmerism he seems to have placed over the entire town before it’s too late to save no only the town, but their friendship and trust.

Super charming series, and the illustrations are gorgeous.

Marsupilami

HOUBA! I watched a very bad TV adaptation of this as a kid that still managed to find a place in my heart, and so I decided to finally try reading some of the original comic! On one hand: it was exactly what I had hoped! The art is cute, the marsupilami is so dynamic and fun to see on the page (and has a way better characterization than he does in the show), and it’s really funny! Unfortunately! It is also pretty racist! Yikes! That seems to be a reoccuring downfall for some of these older Belgian comics... I also tried reading the first book of Les Tuniques Bleues and aye ye ye… I couldn’t actually get through that one. That being said, these were older volumes and frankly, North American media was also real fucking racist at that point so I’m not gonna write them off either. I really liked most of this book, and will probably try to get my hands on one of the more recent volumes of both Marsupilami and Les Tuniques Bleues to see if they get better with time. (If you’ve read either of those series and have volume recommendations hmu)

The Pagemaster

I’m a sucker for novelizations, I have no excuse beyond that. I recently rewatched The Pagemaster and decided to read the chapter book. And it was a solid little adaptation! It’s about Richard Tyler, a young boy with a head for statistics which unfortunately means he lives in constant fear of (in his opinion, statistically likely) injury or death. However that fear is put to the test when he gets caught in a horrible thunderstorm and has to shelter in a nearby library with halls and shelves that stretch beyond the imagination and with untold perils hidden among the pages of the books. Richard, with only his library card and three novels that hope to be checked out, has to venture through the different genres and horrors housed int he library if he ever wants to find the exit and get home to safety.

Pumpkinheads

A very charming little graphic novel. Cute art, and really loveable characters. Josiah and Deja work every year at a local pumpkin patch, and are best friends during those weeks. However this is their last year working there before going off to university and as the last day at the patch comes to a close they realize that they both still have regrets. Deja sets off on a mission to avoid work, eat all the interesting snacks around the patch, and get Josiah to find the girl he’s been crushing on every year and has never worked up the nerve to talk to.

After being deprived of human contact for almost a year, this book really hits you right in the heart.

The Screwfly Solution

A deeply upsetting scifi/horror short story! I read it on the recommendation of a friend and, yes, can confirm that this fucked me up a bit. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this that wouldn’t spoil it, but frankly with everything being as it is, this hit a little bit too close to reality. (That being said, it was very well written, like this is a very good story on a literary level and it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish.) If you feel like reading twenty pages and being really disturbed, give it a go! Otherwise go and read any number of the much happier books on this list!

The Whipping Boy

This was a book I remember reading as a lit circle book back in elementary school and really loving. After telling myself I’d reread it for years, I finally sat down with it again. If you somehow got through school without reading this one, it’s about a brat of a prince and his whipping boy — since it would be unspeakable to strike a prince, when the prince misbehaves it is Jemmy who gets whipped. Unsurprisingly, there is no love lost between the two of them, because the prince is always intentionally causing problems that Jemmy has to suffer for. Things begin to change though when the prince decides to run away and drags Jemmy along with him. On the run, being chased by highwaymen, and desperately trying to hide their identities, these boys go on a fast-paced adventure beyond the castle walls. It wasn’t as special as I remembered it being as a kid, but it’s a fine little chapter book.

#book review #book reviews #canadian literature #canlit #queer lit #the boy was a bride #asterix #asterix and the missing scroll #asterix and the chieftain's daughter #neil patrick harris #magic misfits #the whipping boy #screwfly solution #pumpkinheads #marsupilami #hogan's heroes #dell comics #pagemaster #kelley armstrong #a royal guide to monster slaying #the gryphon's lair #ted harrison #the cremation of sam mcgee #chatter

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on loki ep 2: the variant (spoilers)

under cut to not disturb your scrolling

Overall I enjoyed so that's good

Uh frick my mind blanked so sorry if things are completely out of order

I don't know, I expected the renaissance fair to be 2012 or 2021 or 2024 (Loki's time, our time, current time in the "sacred timeline"). So I was genuinely surprised when it was in 1985.

Ok, i really like the title card thing. And how the year scrolls around. It's a nice aesthetic touch there.

I wonder why the female Loki variant chooses her locations? Does she have a thing for renaissance fairs, French cathedrals, and Oklahoma?

1985 is when Back to the Future came out. And it's y'know, one of the most popular time travel movies ever. So I think they chose that year as a reference.

Again, not liking that the minutemen only have numbers, not names. It is giving me lots of Clone Wars vibes. If you don't know anything about Clone Wars, the clones are given number identifiers by the Kaminoans. Things like CT-7567. The clones would give themselves names (CT-7567, for example, names himself Rex). A really good sign throughout the series that someone is a sketchy person is if they call the clones by their numbers. The clones don't want to be known as numbers. They are people too, they deserve names, so they come up with all sorts of creative names (Rex, Fives, Cody, Tup, Hevy, Hardcase, Echo, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Jesse, Kix, Fox, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Omega, Tech, Matchstick, etc). The jedi respect this, and the only jedi that i can think of that called clones by their numbers is Krell, who fell to the dark side. the Kaminoans and other sketchy people all call them by their numbers and the clones don't like it. A big focus of the show is on the clone's agency (at the end, they all have brain chips that take away their agency and force them to kill jedi), and how the clones need to be respected. So for me to see in another series that people are only given numbers is bad. What's worse is that the minutemen are fine with this. They don't see it as dehumanizing or belittling. They are brainwashed into being okay with it. Which says a thing or two about the Time Keepers.

did. did the renaissance fair really have Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" for their renaissance themed fight? Is this normal? Was it normal in the '80's? We saw later that the female Loki can do electronic stuff. Did she rig it to play it? For the vibes?

Also the stuff before the song was about fighting for a princess, and in the end she kidnaps C-20.

Okay, btw, I'm just gonna say Lady Loki for a while because no one has explicitly said Sylvie yet, so I'm going to refer to di Martino as Loki until she or another calls her Sylvie. Cool? Cool.

I was thinking the "Holding Out for a Hero" fight would be the roomba fight or something. It is such a good song that has huge potential for this genre. Why did they use it in a lame fight as that one?

When Lady Loki did the spell on C-20, it looked similar to what Wanda and Agatha can do. As in, it had similar visuals.

Loki reading a random magazine he finds while sitting with his feet on the desk bored out of his mind because he has to learn sh*t is a MOOD.

What is Miss Minutes? She can jump around anywhere, and pop into computers. But she can't be just a projection. She took the effort to dodge Loki swatting at her, so that may mean she was corporeal. She also could be something similar to the Kree's Supreme Intelligence?

So, did Mobius give Loki the shirt, tie, and slacks, but really didn't give him the jacket until they had to call him in? What? That makes no sense? Did the TVA not have any jackets with the variant label? Did someone have to custom design a jacket for Loki?

What is up with this show giving me things I wanted to see only in holographic form? First we saw Coulson's death, and now Loki in his Jotun form in a holograph of another variant.

Okay, Loki being someone the TVA has to constantly deal with is very on brand. Loki is a creature of chaos, of course he's going to unknowingly rebel against the sacred timeline.

Also, headcanon that the Jotun Loki we see is king of Jotunheim because that would be epic.

Also, for personal reasons I choose to believe there is a Loki variant that defeated the Avengers and immediately went queer rights.

Loki's reaction to there being many Loki variants. He's seen what his life is supposed to be. I think he is even more upset that the TVA often deals with him, that there are so many things that could have been instead if it weren't for the TVA and the "sacred timeline."

Also, I totally think Mobius was waiting for another Loki to show up to help him defeat Lady Loki. They get them so often, it makes sense.

Loki explaining the difference between illusion projection and duplication was great. And very helpful to me personally understanding lore. Also, Mobius, get your crap together. If you're a Loki expert, figure this stuff out.

Loki calling the TVA out on propaganda, we love that.

The wolf quote is actually very nice, I quite like it.

Okay, the TVA doesn't even bury or cremate or do any sort of ritual for their fallen minutemen, they just reset the timeline. Which to me seems like another way to show how little the TVA actually care for their workers.

There are statues of the Time Keepers in Ravonna's office. The camera pays extra attention to it. Keep reading for more about Time Keepers and cinematography choices.

What. What sort of relationship does Ravonna and Mobius have? What is going on there? I am really confused.

Who is this "analyst on the side?" What is going on there?

Ravonna is MEGA SUS. Along with that, the Time Keepers are mega sus.

She signs R. Slayer. Yeah. Slayer. Not at all subtle, Marvel. Letting us know that she'll do the deed if needed.

Mobius you are sending me mixed signals. What do you want?

Okay, Mobius saying Loki was a "cold, scared boy" and an "ice runt" and stuff was totally a jab at Loki being Jotun.

Mobius saying Loki is insecure because of Lady Loki is...probably true.

With the elevator, the camera stops and focuses on the Time Keepers.

The Creation of the TVA, the beginning of time, the end of time, all classified. That is sus.

Loki almost crying over Ragnarok was good. Let him cry over the destruction of his home.

Loki being the one to discover something the TVA had no idea about after a day is on brand for Loki. And it shows how the TVA really are vulnerable.

Mobius: Really? In front of my salad?

No but the object lesson was well done and actually did help me understand what Loki was talking about.

Casey! Casey drinks grape juice! Imagine how confusing this is for Casey though. Loki is captured, threatens to gut you like a fish (whatever that means), and now he's dressed like an analysist, stealing your juice box. Does Loki get Casey more juice?

Honestly, Loki looking at everything logically and scientifically is fantastic. Adds to the science = magic thing Marvel's got going on, since Loki is a sorcerer.

Loki saying volcanoes are cool is fun. I agree. Volcanoes mean the planet is geologically active, which means we won't die. Also, there is a volcano named Loki on one of Jupiter's moons. I wonder if the creators knew that and put Loki in Pompeii because he is already linked with volcanoes.

Mobius telling Loki to start off small and Loki completely disregarding that felt very personal to me.

Loki being absolutely chaotic and telling everyone they were going to die while speaking perfect Latin was iconic. I want more of that content. Let the man be buckwild.

Again, Loki finding something out after a day that the TVA never knew about is on brand.

"Be free, my horned friends, be free!" I love that way too much.

Mobius being obsessed with jet skis wasn't something I expected, but I'm down for it. Heck, even Loki admitted they were cool.

The discussion on beliefs is going to lead to saying the Time Keepers are bullcrap. Hopefully.

Grapes and nuts are "candy" on Asgard. So, when Loki was eating grapes in Ragnarok, we can interpret that as him eating M&Ms. Second, this might add to something I've seen around here. I've seen things about a book somewhere with Loki saying chocolate fountains are mythical (which is really funny to me). So, I guess Asgard really doesn't have chocolate.

Oh my gosh, so many apocalypses between 2047 and 2051...hopefully none of those happen in real life.

Roxxcart is probably part of Roxxon, something that has been around in Iron Man movies.

Lady Loki got the shovel thing from Roxxcart that she left in Oklahoma! The minutemen said it was from the early third millenia, which is where we are now! 2050 also fits that category!

I saw something about the file saying Class 8 hurricane...there are only 5 classes...which means this is a crazy storm.

Does B-15 want Loki dead? This is a legitimate question, because I think she does. Dead or pruned.

Loki looking around at the storm, I love it. This could be him loving science, or him missing Thor, since Thor creates storms. Also, at this point Loki probably things Thor dies shortly after him in the sacred timeline, so Loki would be particularly sentimental about Thor.

I love Loki drying himself off and not anyone else. And B-15 yelling about his magic. And Loki's motions are so fluid, it's so aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Dudes, I thought B-15 was going to try to prune Loki when they were alone.

Okay, was Lady Loki bsing about the azalea sale, or does Roxxcart actually do that? I want to know.

Wunmi Mosaku did a really good job as Lady Loki, I loved it.

Loki being annoyed at Lady Loki and saying he understood how Thor felt, does that insinuate Loki can do what Lady Loki was doing?

B-15 and C-20 were both very shaken after being possessed by Lady Loki. I wonder how that felt for them? We've had different explanations of mind control/brainwashing/similar from Clint, Bucky, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, and Monica in the MCU (including AoS). I wonder what is specific to Lady Loki's possession.

C-20 kept going on about something being real. What was that about?

C-20 revealed the location of the Time Keepers to Lady Loki!

Lady Loki not wanting to be called Loki could be a sign she is Sylvie.

There's something weird where Loki's voice echoed around while the camera focused on Lady Loki. Maybe she's telepathic?

Someone needs to keep a tracker on people telling Loki this isn't his story in a show literally about him.

But, that does add to themes for his life, and how everything was always about someone else in his life. He was always a supporting character for Thor, for Odin, for Thanos. Now, even in his own story, everyone insists he doesn't matter.

I was wondering what the reset charges would be used for. I wasn't expecting a massive bombing of the sacred timeline! Wow! That was unexpected and I loved it!

Okay, this isn't from me, this is from New Rockstars. But to list all the places mentioned on chronomonitors, either bombed or not: Knowhere, Barcelona, Niflheim, Dartford, Phong Nha, Lisbon, Vormir, Thorton, Cookeville, Asgard, Rome, Sakaar, Barichara, Porvoo, Ego, Titan, New York City, Tokyo, Hala, Kingsport, Xandar, Beijing, Madrid, Portland, Jotunheim. Bolded are other planets. Those are almost all the planets visited in the MCU. So fun easter eggs there!

I like Lady Loki's aesthetic. The fingerless gloves, the cloak, I love it. And YES SHE ISN'T SEXUALIZED. So many genderbent characters are excuses to sexualize women. But Lady Loki is just as covered as the male Lokis.

Lady Loki just...left the time door open for Loki to follow...for a really long time...I'm worried he's running into a trap.

What is Loki going to do now?

Theory time y'alls: Lady Loki bombed the sacred timeline to flush the minutemen out of the TVA, leaving it defenseless. And she's gonna go after the Time Keepers themselves. We know she gets into the TVA from trailer footage, and that's what I think we're gonna see next episode. I think she (like the Loki we are following) is upset over the lack of free will, and she plans to change that. That's why she wasn't interested in helping Loki "take over" the TVA, because she doesn't want to become the leader of a new TVA, she wants it destroyed.

Alright, back to the Time Keepers stuff. They keep focusing on the middle Time Keeper. Even in the end credits they have a weird cut to focus directly on his face. I'm not 100% on this, but I like this theory. That face is similar to Jonathan Major's, the actor confirmed to be Kang the Conqueror in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang is a well known time travelling villain in Marvel. Maybe he is Kang, and is using variant versions of himself (that's a Kang thing in the comics) to mess with the timeline, and no one expects that from him. Also, Renslayer was his S/O for a bit in the comics, and they keep framing her in front of that one Time Keeper's face. I feel like this would be a good way to set up Quantumania and to show how sus the Time Keepers are.

Also, Loki was absolutely adorable the entire episode. And he got to sleep! Yay for him!

Again, I enjoyed, and can't wait for next week!

#loki (2021) #loki (2021) spoilers #loki (2021) review #loki laufeyson #tva loki #dimartino loki #sylvie lushton #mobius m mobius #ravonna renslayer #hunter b 15 #hunter c 20 #miss minutes #time keepers #aaaaaaaa im excited for the next episode

[kiki-is-writing]

the beginning and end of everything UPDATE!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is my original work. I choose to share my work here and here specifically for my comrades in the writing community. Plagiarism in any form will not be tolerated. 

HI EVERYONE! I FINISHED MY NOVEL! Whooo hoooo!!!

It’s actually sort of surreal, I started it in June of 2020 and now it’s 2021 and it’s over! Ty, Jude, Ada, Dorothy, and Madison have been living in my head since October 2019, and less than a year and a half later, they’ve been brought to life! Crazy!!

A summary in case you forgot/are seeing this and don’t know who the hell I am:

Ty Kassisieh has no direction. He’s just graduated college with a degree he doesn’t care about and no clue what to do with his life. Per his parent’s request to be more like his genius twin sister Ada, he picks up a job at a local library to save some money. There, he meets his coworker Jude, who’s stuck in a position not too far from his own, and Ty immediately sees the potential for companionship. But after speaking to him, Ty discovers Jude is everything he isn’t: he’s cold, introverted, aloof, and worst of all, humorless. Soon, Ty forgets all about his initial goal and becomes determined to crack Jude and see what makes him tick. 

Ty’s journey of self-discovery is uprooted completely as what begins as an investigation blossoms into a friendship, and then into something more. Ty is forced to confront the feelings he’s been pushing down since high school and come to terms with himself, his family, and the relationships he thought would never change. It’s only when he befriends a young library patron, Madison, that he finally begins to see the world for what it is and figures out how to pave his own path.

Here are some stats!

Word count: 65,900 (it’ll get at least 20k words longer)

Genre: Romantic comedy

POV: third person limited, present tense

Characters: Ty, Jude, Ada, Madison, Dorothy, Diane, Omar, Paul, Uncle Hubie, Ethel

Chapters: 15

Font: Times New Roman (sorry)

This was my second novel, but the first novel where I actually knew what I was doing, at least a little bit. And holy shit, I learned SO much about my writing process:

1. I cannot pants for the life of me. I have no idea what I’m doing without an outline. But sometimes, the outline doesn’t know best. I added a ton of subplots and off-the-cuff scenes halfway through that have no set up, gave up on subplots that weren’t working halfway through, it’s a disaster of a plot. BUt the important thing is that I know how to make it perfect. I know what the story needs and how to get that.

2. Why can I only write in bursts? I wrote like seven chapters, half the novel, in the month of July. There was a day where I wrote almost 5,000 words. And last night, I wrote for 6 hours straight, without eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom (because frankly, I forgot those things existed) and I cranked out a chapter and a half in a DAY. I had such a headache and was very hungry by the end, but it was SO REWARDING. 

3. I noticed while drafting is how often bits of my real life bled through. Little anecdotes, arguments, dynamics and experiences. Those who know me particularly well can probably pick out little allusions to either some of my past works, my friends, and myself.

It was 1:00 AM when I finished, and I live on the east coast of the U.S. so we’d just had a huge Nor’easter (New England for blizzard) and I went outside in the middle of the night, in my pajama pants and my uggs, and stood in my backyard and looked at the trees and processed the fact that wow, I just wrote a novel. It was cathartic and beautiful and I 110% recommend standing in snow up to your knees by yourself in the middle of the night. Very peaceful. 

As exciting as it is to be done, it’s kind of weird to be ending it. I started this novel from Ty’s first person POV, and he was just kind of another goofy, dorky character that shared my own sense of humor as well as my sense of perfectionism. But as I wrote, not only did I realize that third person worked so much better, but I started realizing how much of me and my own journey as a queer person had gone into this. It turned from a light-hearted, silly rom-com with little depth, a fun summer project to keep myself busy, to the most self expressive story I’ve ever written. I didn’t expect it to come out with much deeper meaning, it was summer and I was on a light-hearted rom-com kick, and life was carefree and silly and I wanted a book that reflected it. And then, school started, and life just descended into absolute chaos, and it was November, and it was NaNoWriMo, and I was writing my novel while watching CNN for a week straight. (But it all turned out great! New president!)

I can’t remember exactly when I started to incorporate my own struggles growing up as a queer kid, but somehow they bled through in the second half. The last scene of the book is (no spoilers) an incredible breath of fresh air for Ty. It’s something I can only wish for every queer teenager, that moment where you can finally be unapologetically and authentically queer without that nagging worry in the back of your mind. I’ve struggled over this past year with my identity, and as Ty found his place, I found mine as well. 

Seriously, writing this book was one of the best experiences I’ve had. Yes, the entire time I had a separate document open, writing down every little thing that needs to change, but I legitimately feel excited for draft 2 and continuing working on this project. I think about how much this book helped me, unconsciously creating the story that I needed to hear, and how maybe, in ten, fifteen years, some queer teenager will be wandering around a bookstore and pick up The Beginning and End of Everything. Maybe just because the cover is pretty. Maybe they like the F. Scott Fitzgerald reference in the title. Maybe they heard about it on Twitter somewhere. But they pick it up, and see themselves in Ty, or in Jude, or in Madison. I know every book that gave me that feeling, I cherish them so deeply, and all I really want is for someone to get that feeling from something I wrote. To see themselves in the pages and know they’re not alone. It’s cheesy, but it’s true, and it’s important. 

I think one of my favorite themes in the novel is the whole ‘someone’s got your back’ thing. I 100% did not mean for it to go in the way it did, but I was writing this as I was going through some Stuff, some stuff in which I realized that having someone, just one person in your corner can mean the entire world, if only for that moment. And if there’s no one in your corner when you need it, you can be in someone else’s when they need it. Frankly, I love how it plays out throughout the novel. There was always that theme of Ty and Madison sort of being there for each other, but as I found myself in the first semester of the school year building new friendships with incredible, smart, funny people (albeit most of that being online) and strengthening old bonds, it worked its way in, and it fits perfectly. It adds depth and strength to the story I couldn’t have done consciously. 

Essentially, it is still the romantic comedy I intended it to be, but it’s also a coming-of-age (except much older than the traditional coming-of-age). Watching some of my close friends and family graduating college and continuing to struggle with their identities and places in the world I think is what truly carved out this idea. Because not everyone has everything figured out as soon as they graduate, and I feel like, as a teenager, that’s something my friends and I really need to get through our heads. A lot of us expect to have everything figured out as soon as we turn 18. But, we’re 18. There’s a lot of life ahead of us, and we can’t possibly know what we’re going to do so young. So I think that was my main source of inspiration for this novel, and I’m really proud of the way that fleshed out. Of course it needs lots and lots of work, but. I like it. The way my personal life bled through and strengthened the story is incredible to reflect on. Honestly, I really, truly, cannot wait to start working on draft 2.

taglist:

@alicewestwater @august-iswriting @lottieiswriting @phiwrites @jennawritesstories @chloeswords

#the beginning and end of everything #teenwriter #am writing #my writing #my novel #writblr #writeblr #writing update #teen writer #young writer #writingupdate #writer problems #writerscommunity #writing #drafting #nanowrimo #losenanowrimo2020 #camp nanowrimo

[rinnnyxr]

I’m happy I’m sad I’m motivated I’m unmotivated I’m sick I’m taken I have a crush I’m in love I’m single I’m brokenhearted

I want to sleep I want to study I want to go out I want to stay home I have school today I have work today

I’m afraid of spiders I’m afraid of being alone I’m afraid of snakes I’m afraid of flying I’m afraid of failure I’m afraid of clowns

I took chemistry classes in high school I took math classes in high school I took English classes in high school I took geography classes in high school I took biology classes in high school I had gym in high school I took art classes in high school I took science classes in high school I took history classes in high school I took physics classes in high school I was in the theatre after school program in high school I had some sort of music classes in high school I had some sort of dance classes in high school

-

Bold the things you’ve never done.

I’ve never gone to Disney World. I’ve never been out of my home country. I’ve never kissed a stranger on the lips. I’ve never read a book over eight hundred pages. I’ve never painted a picture on a canvas. I’ve never sang in front of a large crowd by myself.

I’ve never had braces. I’ve never learned French. I’ve never had a fight with my dad. I’ve never updated my status through my phone. I’ve never used Nair. I’ve never cut my wrists. I’ve never wanted plastic surgery. I’ve never drank organic regular milk. I’ve never learned Chinese. I’ve never blew up a balloon. I’ve never changed a baby’s diaper. I’ve never lost my phone for good. I’ve never lost a friend through death. I’ve never met one of my grandparents. I’ve never met someone with my exact name. I’ve never dated someone with red hair. I’ve never put on eyeliner for myself. I’ve never took a dance class. I’ve never tried weed. I’ve never tried drugs. I’ve never cooked dinner for my family. I’ve never had anything besides my ears pierced. I’ve never had a tattoo. I’ve never went to the beach to tan. I’ve never kissed anyone on the lips that was younger than me. I’ve never dumped someone. I’ve never stepped in something nasty barefooted. I’ve never cheated on someone. I’ve never waxed anything on my body. I’ve never dyed my whole head a different color. I’ve never kissed anyone who was above the age of seventeen. I’ve never kissed in the rain. I’ve never gone a day without laughing. I’ve never got held back a grade. I’ve never stolen anything over twenty dollars.

-

Aries

Waiting until the last minute TL;DR (too long, didn’t read) Angry crying 4 am seamless Big flirt Hot yoga “Why are you so upset? I’m over it now” No filter Cutting in line at the store Skipping to the “good part” Ignoring the speed limit Tinder Shoplifting Exclamation points!!! Bad tattoos Caffeine addiction Toned AF Muay Thai “Don’t touch me” Breaking a bone Spelling errors Picking fights for no reason Lowkey really sensitive Skipping breakfast 7/24

Taurus Falling asleep on the subway Going barefoot Using hands as utensils Calling in sick Materialism Tree climbing Cuddling Controlling the aux Great British baking show “I deserve to treat myself” Aesthetics Spending the whole day in bed Anything that says “natural” on it Long-term relationships Expensive sheets Picnics in the park Essential oils Sex as exercise Tender Wearing the same outfit 3 days in a row Says a controversial opinion and then “I’m not going to argue” Calm, cool, and collected Silk everything 5 meals a day 7/24

Gemini Giving unqualified advice 50 different tangents “Prove it” Playing Devil’s advocate Can’t keep a secret Scamming Carrying a book around Arguing for fun Always knowing the latest gossip Adderall Spilling guts to the Uber driver Rationalizing emotions Lying to be more interesting Most active in the group chat Anxiety Telling the same story 10 times to perfect it Philosophy 1000 ideas per minute Sardonic sense of humor Full of interesting facts 23 best friends Internet memes Forgot how to cry Living a double life 4/24

Cancer Screenshots Same friends since high school Sleeps with a stuffed animal Vintage clothes Cries when yelled at Going home early Nesting Holding grudges Mood swings Drinking tea Supporting others’ chaos Social anxiety HGTV Super protective of loved ones Accidental emotional manipulation Cooking for friends Likes animals more than humans Meeting someone and immediately planning their whole lives together Empathizing with film protagonists Vivid childhood memories “Mi casa es tu casa” Serial monogamist Good emotional memory Big hugs 8/24

Leo Mid-day outfit changes Giving out compliments Taking an hour to get ready Accidentally flirting Making friends in the Uber pool Using a window as a mirror Passionate emotional outbursts Lowkey insecure Creating drama to avoid boredom Opening up after just meeting someone Going to the spa Needing to make opinions known Large but fragile ego Wanting recognition for your generosity Making a scene Pretending life is reality TV Giving really subjective advice Overdressed for the function Creative genius Social media as therapy Trying something and being instantly good at it Can’t take a joke Self-care Urge to stand out 7/24

Virgo Over-analyzing friendships Fact check Knowing a little about everything Helping people get their shit together Very specific tastes Fixing it or making it 10x worse Personal projects Health routines Pretending to have your shit together Repeating a task over and over until it’s perfect On good terms with your trash exes Stretching self too thin Stuck in negative thought cycles Noticing little things no one else notices Needs to quit like 3 things Nitpicking Self-sacrificing Hyperfocus Reading 3 books at once “Sorry for the late reply” Functioning on 3 hours of sleep Can’t turn brain off Neurotic Putting yourself last 17/24

Libra Fomo (fear of missing out) Saying yes to every opportunity A little bit of suck up Fear of being alone Flirting with everyone but your crush Tossing a coin to make big decisions Easily influenced Art films Strong sense of right and wrong Torn between being social and having much needed alone time New crush every day Going to museums Overthinking romantic relationships Truly admiring all your friends Adopting others’ hobbies and mannerisms Overdraft fees Showing up late or not showing up at all Avoiding conflicts at all costs Talking about past romances on the first date Gossipy but with good intentions Panicking when someone raises their voice Trying to see both sides Unable to end a bad relationship Pretending to hate drama 9/24

Scorpio Resting bitch face Keeping the right amount of secrets Has a “hit” list (either meaning) Needing to have control in relationships Knowing what you want and exactly how to get it Disappearing at parties Morbid thoughts Believes in “energy” Attractive Staring from across the room Stalking crush’s social media Fascination with cults Still in an emo phase Breaking hearts but sad about it Trust issues All black Existential angst Silently walking away from uninteresting conversations Chaotic emotions behind a calm mask Craving emotional intensity “What am I gonna gain from it?” Seeming intimidating, actually really sensitive Friendships of utility Loves crime 12/24

Sagittarius Losing interest and quitting anything that doesn’t come easily Giving opinions without being asked No inside voice Arguing as foreplay Backpacking trips Talking over people Stating opinions as facts Corny jokes Took one philosophy class and is basically Nietzsche now Always having the last word Using big words to sound smart Speaking more than one language Fueled by laughter Calling friends on their BS Asking for advice and then not taking it Needing to change activities every 30 minutes Telling it like it is Correcting people Unwaveringly optimistic Laugh can be heard from across the room Talking about a book after only reading the Wikipedia synopsis Learning a lot from travel Periodically getting rid of all your belongings Pulling out a party trick 9/24

Capricorn Fear of not living up to potential Overcommitting Anything ‘rustic’ Favorite song is the NPR jingle Has real, tangible goals Repressing trauma Always on time Slow and steady Minding your own business Prefers on one hangs to group hangs Work/life balance Putting more money into savings than you take out Acting 20 years older than you actually are Is prepared for the worst-case scenario Never asking for help Reading for fun Is actually normcore Taking care of business Taking things seriously Motivated by stress Minimalism Hanging out with the same 3 people Bashful around crush Holding friends to high standards 9/24

Aquarius Lowkey superstitious Obscure music David Lynch Weird makeup Self-given haircuts Bad at flirting Feeling like an alien Reding conspiracy theories on the internet Estranged from emotions Experimental poetry Martyr complex Being called a free spirit Abstract concepts Making plans and canceling them Intellectual superiority A little arrogant Loves an underdog Using a thesaurus Activism Fuck the rules Intentionally provocative Highly ethical Queer theory Niche knowledge base 1/24

Pisces Head in the clouds Misplacing keys Unofficially moving in with friends Easily overwhelmed Empathizing with plants Existential crisis #3 Really long showers Leaving clothes in a pile on the ground Using fantasies as an escape Romantic drama Need for constant validation Acts either 7 or 70 Incredibly active imagination Cripplingly self-aware Over-apologizing In love with 10 people at once Binge drinking Giving good advice but can’t apply it to yourself Secretly writes poetry Crying in the bathroom at work Can’t take criticism Mind reading #NoBoundaries Saying something deep out of nowhere 12/24

I am most like a Virgo (my actual sign)

-

You have an ex You don’t wear glasses You have blue/gray/green eyes

You’re pretty tall

You can drive a manual transmission car

You know how to change the oil

You know all about cars

You have a serious passion for photography

You’ve known your best friend since middle school You’re close friends with someone since elementary school You prefer Quiznos over Subway

You’re in a relationship You’ve had a rebound before You’ve been in a relationship for five years

You’ve cheated before

You’ve dated someone who was Asian You’ve dated someone who was Hispanic

You’ve dated someone of your own ethnicity You like to sleep a lot You were born in winter Your birthday is in February

You’re the oldest in your family

You have a younger sister You have a cat You don’t have step-parents You often work the night shifts at your job

You can play the drums

You know a lot about flowers

You’re allergic to shellfish

You like garlic You like a lot of cheese

You get real Christmas trees

You’ve been in a car accident before You’ve snuck people over to your house You’re part Hawaiian

You’re a Pisces

You have no tattoos You have no piercings You have brown hair You have a Steam account You don’t have a Twitter

You’re hardly on any networking sites

You have an XBox360 You don’t like Playstation products very much

You have relatives in Alaska and/or Hawaii

You have a Toshiba laptop

You love German Shepherds You love Welsh Corgis You are Republican

You are Methodist

Your room is rarely ever clean

You’ve drunk dialed someone

A nasty rumor has been spread about you You’re in college One of your parents was at one point enlisted in the military

You are close with your family You like paintballing

You don’t smoke You don’t do drugs

You have a habit of keeping things you borrowed longer than expected

[koshercosplay]

@iwanttowriteitall and I want to do away with the typical portrayal of the women getting ready to be brought before achashverosh for him to choose who will be crowned queen.

Because it's always these women who are mean and horrible to each other and fighting over each other to be seen, contrasted with Esther being the only calm modest one etc.

However... consider an au with all of the women getting ready together in their dressing rooms and helping each other, doing each other's makeup, fighting and then making up and continuing to just have a blast. Like c'mon they've got like unlimited access to resources like makeup, scented baths, oils, hair products, whatever they wanted. You can't tell me they wouldn't be having fun. Esther isn't particularly interested in beautifying herself, so she goes around supporting everyone else.

Consider an au where two queer women get called up to the palace and they're panicking about what they're gonna do if they get chosen. When they get to the rooms and discover all this excitable chaos though they dive right in while trying to come up with an escape plan, and when the other women discover that these two are queer they decide to help them and the women do their best to ensure that these two don't get chosen no matter what.

There is so much potential for humor and comedy and fun and women supporting women and suspense and drama here.

#i need some megillas esther fanfic apparently #lol #text post #purim #queen esther

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

#god i just....... went bonkers with this #ask #anonymous #sh #shadlwhunters #sh crack #crack #malec crack #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #luke garroway #maryse lightwood #lukemaryse #maia roberts #clary fray #claia #meliorn #izzy lightwood #isabeliorn #god im out of control #fic idea

[collapseofeden]

Far Cry 5 Deputy Ask Meme - Original here

This is a long post, I can’t add a read-more link via the app, so.. this is a warning..

The Basics

1. Give their full name, and describe them or post a picture! Elias Gael Miller.

2. How old are they? He’s in his mid 40’s.

3. Sexuality and gender? Queer man. He likes people no matter gender or sex but doesn’t fall in love easily.

Pre-Game

1. How did they end up at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department? How long have they worked there? Miller was originally from the Albuquerque SD and was one of their top sheriffs and was moved to Hope County just for Eden’s Gate.

2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse? Miller bonded with Whitehorse first purely because of them being closer to age than Pratt and Hudson. (tbc)

3. Do they have an education? After college he did basic military training and after that he went to the police academy and started working at the SD right after graduating.

4. Where are they from? Did they speak a different language there? He’s born and raised in Albequerque, NM. English is his mother tongue and knows very basic Arabic.

5. Is there anyone outside the valley that might have come looking for them? His parents and two sisters lived regular lives and were ”only” deathly worried about him not answering their phone calls. They called the SD but never got an answer as to what was going on. They had been informed about what was going on and he told them that no matter what would happen they should not come looking for him.

6. Did they have a religious background of any kind? He wants to believe in something to have something to depend on or draw hope or faith from, but haven’t found anything. The rest of his family have various beliefs.

Inside Hope County

1. What was going through their head when the helicopter went down and during the subsequent chase? Pretty much ”typical that this would happen first thing after my transfer”. But it just made his anger toward the Seeds and Eden’s Gate grow stronger at the moment. And also amazed at how a man could get such a big religious following in a short amount of time.

2. Were they afraid of Joseph and Eden’s Gate? Angry? He wasn’t afraid of the individuals or their beliefs but more of what they could achieve and potentially ruin.

3. Did they trust Dutch? Not right after the crash and being rescued from the river. While spending that first day on his island he gained some trust for him, but not too much, but as the days and weeks went by he came to trust Dutch wholeheartedly.

4. How did they feel about their team being taken by the cult, did they count them as lost, did they want them back, did they not care? Despite just getting onto the team and getting to know them they were a team and on his side so he wanted them to be okay and survive. It did cross his mind that they might’ve been converted while he was looking for them, but he still needed to get them. Had they converted he would’ve left them.

5. How did they take to the idea of being part of, if not leading, the resistance? Being part of something so big was very new and difficult to grasp, but he did not mind being part of it and he quickly got into it and easily grew into a bit more of a leader.

6. Which companions did they recruit, and who did they travel with the most? He recruited all of them because they needed all the manpower they could get. Some he recruited only because of that and found some of those lacking, but the rest he grew close to. Sharky and Nick were by his side most of the time. When he felt like having some quiet time he would either bring Boomer and ’Burger instead or go alone.

7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it? His priority was to bring down Eden’s Gate and didn’t really think of such things during his time in Hope County. Though he couldn’t deny that the Seed brothers were his type, but they were monsters in his eyes after all. He grew very fond of Sharky and deeply enjoyed being with him, but felt that Eden’s Gate was like a wall that stopped him for feeling more in fear of either dying. Though he did chance a kiss, which was reciprocated.

8. Feelings about Joseph? On one hand he was jealous of him - having such a strong belief for something. On the other he pushed his belief in a violent way, which no religion or belief should do, so his hatred for Joseph ran deep.

9. Feelings about the other Seeds? Just as insane and evil as Joseph, just in other ways.

10. How did they handle having to kill animals and other humans? Had they done it before? He’d killed both before. Farm animals while growing up and humans in his line of work. He’s fine with it as long as it serves a purpose - food, getting rid of evil etc. Tangent -> this he kind of struggled with, the true meaning of evil. If Joseph killing people for the sake of his beliefs is evil, isn’t Elias killing the Seeds and all the peggies evil? As his belief is that Eden’s Gate is a harbinger of death, for no good reason. And then the cycle repeats.

11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all? He chose to resist Joseph, but he was really close to letting him go but god damn it he worked so hard to take him down, he couldn’t just let him walk. As a player i of course have done the other ending as well, but it doesn’t fit him.

Personal

1. Favorite weapon(s)?

2. Stealth or firepower? A bit of both, depending on the mission, but he doesn’t want to waste ammo. Starting stealthy and see how far it goes..

3. How did they spend their time, when not fighting peggies? Hanging out with Sharky and/or Nick, having fun with the animal companions, hiking, reading comics.

4. Where did they live during the events of the game? The old Miller residence (haha) just north of Orville Creek in John’s region.

5. Any other facts you want to share about your Deputy!

#far cry 5 #fc deputy #fc rook #*elias miller