#sh crack

[psymachine]

two friends who just bought a bar together and have their whole lives ahead of them

#macdennis #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #had to take another crack at dennis' long curly #hair** #some improvement i think #i didn't mean to draw dennis' shirt falling off again it just kind of happened #machinegoods #i know you wouldn't be able to see the stars in philly sh

[ssalballoon]

i think they'd be very gentle with each other 🪻

#this may be a bit niche um. anyway! #shadowheart doing that Thing comparing the size of her hand to gale's like “wow... your hands are so much bigger than mine” #i like the idea of both gale and sh having physical consequences of their respective religious scars #ie. gale having a rotting arm and sh's scarred hand cracking with every flareup #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #shadowheart #jenevelle hallowleaf #my art #bg3 fanart #galeheart #i haven't seen as much stuff about these two so hopefully it's not massively ooc... i will learn...🙇 #idk their ship name.. #shadowweave

[wa1tngtill1d13]

#tw depressing stuff #s3lfharmm #sh mention #kinda depressing #crazy #self h@rm #tw selfhate #dark thoughts #depressing life #i feel empty #crack wh0re #tw drvgs

[starry-eyed-killer]

PROMPT:

remus flirting back for the first time with sirius

Here's a silly one and I'll make a actual thought out well written one when my laptop charges! Hope you like it as much as I had fun writing it 🔪🦁🗡

Setting- Shrieking shack just after Sirius escapes Azkaban

Snape: *spiteful* Black we will get you back to the castle so the dementors can give you your kiss

Remus: *looks between them* I don't think we will I'll be the only one kissing him thank you very much and Snivilus your just mad because someone actually wants to kiss Sirius and your 39 and never had any action *he walks forward as he's talking and trips over a loose wooden floor plank and falls into Sirius lap*  oh well hello there *winks with both eyes*

Sirius: it's taken you 21 years to flirt with me and that's the best you can do *smirks but is blushing like mad* well it's pretty damn wonderful if I do say so myself.

Meanwhile~ harry knocks snape out in the background

Wolfstar- kissing like their life depends on it.

THE END

#wolfstar #remus being remus #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus #sirius black #sirius lupin #remus lupin #remus black #prisoner of azkaban #harry potter #harry #snape #snivilus #writing #writing prompt #send help #sh #shrieking shack #dead gay wizards from the 70s #dead gay wizards #marauders on crack #incorrect marauders era #the maruaders #marauders fandom #incorrect marauders textposts #incorrect marauders quotes #marauders #severus snape #severus #dementors

[samijey]

why are they always like this.......

bonus Jey responding with some serious "i love you // i know" energy:

#sami zayn #jey uso #samijey #wwe #kevin owens #wweedit #stuff i made #he's just like me fr #don't think i need to tag the codester here #this ain't about him #he's an ally tho he'll understand #dude who responds to “i'm happy for you” with “that's true”??? go to jail with your leia/solo bs brooooo #also sami is talking about something that was traumatic to them both and my dude just looks at him fondly and cracks a smile #and if that's not love then i dunno what is #does anyone even read these why do i bother writing them #these wrestling gays have me screaming into the void i hate it here #even kevin was sick of their sh*t at that point

[lilybug-02]

I remember reading the most insane concept for Undertale years ago.

The premise was that when Humans created The Barrier, they decided to "give the monsters a chance". To cross The Barrier, a Monster and Human would only have to hold hands, as friends. No soul connection or anything.

CAN YOU IMAGINE.

#crack theory #Like...holy sh*t #bread #undertale #undertale theory

[ofmiceandwomen]

Gondolin lasted for like four hundred years. Impressive, right.

But imagine living 400 years in one city in relative peace. It necessarily means that at some point Turgon’s council must have been discussing something really petty compared to the struggles of the rest of Beleriand.

Such as how many trees should they plant. The maintenance of public spaces. Lack of trash bins. Overpopulated pigeons. Loud night life.

Imagine being one of the greatest warriors ever and having to sit through endless council meetings about new benches in the Lesser Market instead of taking down Morgoth.

#silmarillion #the silm fandom #gondolin #ecthelion #glorfindel #turgon #aredhel #like seriously 400 hundred years of political sh*t #silm crack #text post #tolkien

[dorothygale123]

I'd say I'm becoming a nerd, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I guess I'm just expanding my nerdiness to other areas.

Anyway, MORE MYTHOLOGY!

So in Journey to the West, the Buddha explains that there are 4 'spiritual primates' that don't fit into any categories for immortals or types of creatures. Fans of Lego Monkie Kid are likely familiar with 2, the Stone Monkey Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque. The other 2, the Long-armed Gibbon and the Red-Buttocked Baboon are a lot more obscure. They only get a brief mention in JttW because the focus of the chapter they appear in is Macaque, but the idea of a set of super powerful Immortal monkeys is just too fun to pass up, you know? So I've been thunking my thinker.

What if each primate was associated with a different realm (mortal, heavenly, lunar, and underworld) and element? I know the 4 elements (earth, water, wind, fire) are a western idea rooted in alchemy and eastern mythology has 5 elements (earth, water, fire, metal, wood), but there aren't 5 monkeys and this is just a thought experiment and not me trying to force western ideas onto eastern culture.

Got it? Good.

Now, Sun Wukong is very solidly earth because he's, you know, a rock. No surprise there. He was also born in the mortal realm and spent most of his life there, so we'll call him the celestial primate of the mortal realm while we're at it.

The Six-Eared Macaque is another easy one. A lot of LMK fannon associates him with wind, inferring that his heightened hearing has something to do with wind magic. He's also very closely tied to the moon because of the line in "Shadow Play" where he directly compares the Warrior (himself) to the moon. So Macaque is the celestial primate of wind and the Lunar realm.

Now here's where we get a bit more speculative and start using information creatively. There are 2 monkeys, realms, and elements left I want to use, so let's start with the monkeys so everyone has a baseline understanding.

The Long Armed Gibbon (Gibs, from now on) is described as being able to "seize the sun and moon, shorten a thousand mountains, distinguish auspicious from inauspicious, and manipulate planets and stars."

The Red Buttocked Baboon (Babs for short) has "knowledge of yin and yang, understands human affairs, is adept I'd daily life and can avoid death and lengthen its life."

Starting with the realms because they seem easiest to assign, I would give Gibs the Heavenly realm because of its ability to move around celestial objects like the sun, moon, planets, and stars. This leaves the Underworld to Babs, which I think fits nicely because their "knowledge of yin and yang" and "understand[ing] of human affairs" would make them a good assistant to the 10 Kings of the Underworld.

Next comes the 2 remaining elements, water and fire, which are a bit tricky because it could go both ways.

Gibs could be fire because the sun and stars are giant balls of burning plasma, but also water because the sky/heavens are often associated with an ocean or other bodies of water in several different mythologies. For example, in Egyptian mythology, Ra sailed his boat through the sky every day, while in early Abrahamic belief the sky was a huge dome with water on the other side, and rain happened when floodgates were opened to let the water through. In Chinese myth specifically, the Milky Way is often depicted as a river that is sailed through by various deities.

Babs could fit with fire as well because underworlds and hell-adjacent places are often shown to have fires to torment and punish the sinful dead, no surprise there. But there is surprisingly a lot of water symbolism in the realm of the dead as well. For example, some people may be familiar with the Japanese idea of the Sanzu River, very similar in concept to the Greek River Styx, as well as the Chinese Huang Quan/Yellow springs.

Personally I would pair Babs with fire because he has red in his name, making him the celestial primate of fire and the Underworld.

That leaves Gibs to be the celestial primate of water and the Heavenly realm.

I feel pretty good about this, but if anyone else has other ideas I'd love to hear them.

Sh*tpost Masterlist

#lego monkie kid #lmk #sun wukong #journey to the west #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #jttw #long armed gibbon #red buttocked baboon #crack theory #my theory #chinese religion #chinese mythology #4 elements #cool connection #no books this time we die like men #i've put more effort into this than i have most of my school or college research papers #maybe i should've been a mythology major... #shadowpeach #mythology sh*tposting #mythology #mythology and folklore #jttw inspo character ideas

[iobartach]

*clasps hands together*

let's spare a thought for

Miguel's Cape!!!

#ooc #crack #we do not talk about this enough in this house!! #and it looks so damn GOOD on the sh figurarts fig! like DAMN! #let him use his cape you guys!!! #so shiny! 🥺

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Cardin: (making fun of Kali and Willow's hip sizes in Vacuo) Clearly, someone didn't tell them that faces have a weight limit.

Blake & Weiss: (seething in a murderous black aura)

Yang: I got this. Just promise to forgive me later. (Struts over to Cardin and grabs his plate armor)

Yang: If her thighs block the skies, to the occasion, you must rise! Clearly! That's a mission you would jeopardize! Because you don't have the balls or the skill to please a woman of any size!

Cardin: 🫨

Kali & Willow: (hook arms on either side of Yang) Our hero ~ ❤️

Yang: 😅

Blake & Weiss: Mom/Mother, No! Step away from the charming disaster lesbian!

#bumbleby #disaster lesbian yang xiao long #protective daughters blake belladonna and weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #willow schnee #kali belladonna #rwby crack post #someone help the golden retriever sh-imbo before she gets hurt

[wa1tngtill1d13]

⭐️Let’s fuckin ruin my life⭐️

Does anyone else just want to do all the drugs in the world? And absolutely ruin your life because what’s the point anymore?

#sh blog #sh twt #su1c1dal #beansblr #tw sh vent #sh trigger warning #sh mention #slef harm #kinda depressing #s3lfharmm #crack #mushrooms #acid trip #alcohol #addicted to you #cant stop me

[royalight]

Send Smash or Pass + a name and my muse will say if they would smash or pass on that person.

@madrites asked: smash or pass shrek

"I'd   hate   to   harm   my   dearest   ogre    ....    it   also   seems   impossible   to   smash   him   ...       he   is   big   a   strong   and   manly   .....    so....   pass!"

#madrites #𝘳𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦 ˚☽˚ | askbox #SH R E K #CRACK

[bravesung]

nobody:

hana texting rock: so, I noticed you did not call me “baby” this morning and now I am scared I said something wrong.

( @scarlxtleaves )

#❝ ᪥ ––––––––– crack posts. ) ) #❝ ♡ –––––– they’ll see it written in the stars. / sh: rockhana. ) ) #( HANAMARU KAZAMA AND THE SENSITIVE ASS PERSONALITY )

[dorothygale123]

Okay, so I was reading up on Chinese mythology here and found something amazing.

Way, WAAAAAAY back in the day there were 5 emperors, the Yellow Emperor, the Red Emperor, the Green Emperor, the Black Emperor, and the White Emperor who were really important to the foundations of the world and stuff. Some people may know the Yellow Emperor as the first emperor of China, but I'm here to talk about his half-brother the Red Emperor, or the Fiery Emperor. He's described as having "the head of an ox and the body of a human being" and is known for having "taught mankind how to control and make constructive use of fire through forging."

Now, who do we know from LMK that's associated with oxen/BULLS and FIRE? The Demon Bull Family! Specifically DBK and Red Son. Now, I have not found ANY evidence to support the idea that DBK and the Red Emperor have ANY connection, BUT I do think it is a really cool idea that maybe DBK is descended from the Red Emperor somehow and that's how Red Son ended up inheriting really strong fire powers: being the descendent of the primordial god of fire will do that to you. Red Son could also be the reincarnation of the Red Emperor or something, and the Samadhi Fire was a power from his last life that he USED to have control over but once he got reborn into a little baby body went COMPLETELY haywire.

Also, as one last bit of irony, due to being an agricultural diety and helping the common folk improve their lives through better farming practices, the Red Emperor gained the epithet "The Divine Peasant." It's just too perfect, I had to share

BTW, the book is available at Barnes & Noble

Sh*tpost Masterlist

#mythology sh*tposting #chinese myths and legends #davide latini #j.k. jackson #red emperor #bull demon king #demon bull king #dbk #lmk #lmk dbk #red son #lego monkie kid #crack theory #my theory #cool connection #samadhi fire #fiery emperor #jttw #jttw theory #journey to the west #chinese mythology #mythology #mythology and folklore

[ihatebnha]

one thing about toji is that i know he has the weirdest camera roll/youtube history on earth. he’ll blame it on megumi or like... an ex-gf but the whole thing is just filled with like... monkey videos, those weird 5 minute craft ideas and 500 pictures he accidentally took of his pocket or the dirty pavement

#toji #toji is gray jeans and a ripped shirt with holes in the armpit sleeping on ur couch with his head tilted back all funny #IN DIRTY SOCKS #u go thru his phone and it's like... what on earth #can't organize anything for sh*t #not even his wallpaper #cracked phone screen and dirty buttons #its not even like... unloyal its just f*cking weird #why was he watching a weird compilation of sped up slime videos? lord knows #probably because he just lets his youtube autoplay run for hours while he's using your hot water #lmfao i know the reason why megumi is messed up is bc he spent too much time watching... whats it called... #frozen gate #all toji's fault #not writing #shii posts

[thesilverlock]

Yuma Tsukumo probably couldn't have successfully redeemed Number 96, but Michael Arclight just might have been able. In this essay,,

#(( I’m on some wILD sh!t tonight folks )) #(( This is half a crack post )) #(( but the half that is Not Crack grows stronger with every word I add to the actual mini essay that I’m writing )) #| blue rambles | º☕︎ #zexal #iii arclight #michael arclight #number 96 black mist #number 96 (zexal) #no.96 black mist