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adventures-in-poly · 3 years

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0 Posts in 2020

You’d think that I’d have something Very Profound to say about the interactions between the pandemic and poly, but it turns out I haven’t wanted to write about that subject very much at all. I won’t say that the pandemic has sucked all the inspiration from my brain, just that it has shuffled inspiration around in unexpected ways and away from writing.

The pandemic has felt like it’s pressed the pause button on my poly life. My husband (M) can’t go out on dates because OTHER PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS. I also can’t go out on dates for the same reason, but moreover, I choose not to go on dates because I’m just So Damn Exhausted. I’ve seen my boyfriend (Crow) only three times this year: once before the pandemic and twice since, and that’s only possible because his house has this large porch where we can do social distancing outside. I haven’t kissed him since January and I’ve only hugged him once, masks on and faces turned away, and I held my breath the whole time. I haven’t had sex with anyone in over a year, and I can’t even “blame” that on the pandemic. It’s a choice. Guess I’ve gone full asexual, and I say “guess” because, while asexual is an accurate descriptor, I still don’t feel really great about adopting that as a personal identity. I’m not even upset about the no sex part though. I’m happy about it. My Magic Wand knows exactly what I want and all the nuances of my body and it’s much less painful than skin on skin.

The pandemic is NOT a good thing. It is NOT a good thing that millions of people have died, and it is NOT a good thing that we as a community are touch-starved and relationship-starved and can’t seem to figure our shit out.

That said.

I’m going to be honest. It has felt nice not having to worry, poly-wise. I hate that that’s a thing that I feel, but this blog is and has always meant to be about honesty. It feels like a relief knowing that I am not going to be in a situation where I have to watch my husband drunkenly and sloppily hit on other women at parties that we are meant to both enjoy. It feels like a relief knowing that he isn’t going to tell me, “I’m going to meet someone that I’ve been talking to on Tinder”, that the bomb isn’t going to fall on me. Because that’s what it is. “I came in like a wrecking ball.” The fear that someone else will enter our lives - my life - and I’ll have no control over it, and I’ll hate it, and I’ll lose myself.

I have a lifelong fear of being replaced. Of being “not good enough”. I hesitate to call it a fear of being unlovable, because I’ve never doubted that people love me and like me. I think they do. But the fear is that, when my needs butt up against someone else’s, theirs will always win. As a child, my parents taught me all about caring for other people, being generous, being self sacrificing, being kind. They immigrated to the US from England a few years before I was born, and as a result, I was brought up with a European mindset (others before yourself) in an American environment (look out for number one). And, as a result -- even though my parents were extraordinarily caring, even though I was an only child, even though they were generous with their time and attention, even though I had a very happy childhood -- I somehow learned that I would always be second place. Always the one to sleep on the floor at sleepovers so the guest or the host could get the bed. Always the one to get a boring piece of cake so a louder and therefore more deserving child could get the piece with the flower. Petty shit like that that translated into real adult problems. Just two nights ago, on New Year’s Eve, I had told my husband I’d wanted us to change the sheets, and as I ascended the stairs to bed I forlornly reminded him that we hadn’t changed the sheets - terrified and fully preparing myself to be let down because he was having a good time at an online New Year’s Eve party and of course that meant that my needs would subside. (They didn’t. The world doesn’t work like that. My husband shows me over and over again that my needs are important to him, and yet I Still Never Learn.)

I can say with full honestly that I am no longer really jealous of my boyfriend and his wife anymore. I used to be, a little. I used to be jealous that he would want to visit her at her shift before he came over for dates, or that he’d want to bring her to casual outings with me, or that at any point the two of them could decide they’d want to move back to San Diego and that would be that. I don’t feel those things anymore. I haven’t for a long time. It’s some sort of consequence of she and I becoming legitimate good friends, plus me and my husband moving an hour away, plus just being too damn old and too damn tired to give shits anymore.

Then again, their relationship was never the kind that was going to prick my skin up and put me on guard. I was the new person, not her. I don’t have a complex about older, more established relationships.

But the idea of my husband finding somebody new, even though our relationship is solid? Sends me into chaos. Even now. I wish I could say that it’s changed in the 5 years since we opened things up, but it hasn’t. It hasn’t really at all.

I’d wanted this blog to document my journey from new to seasoned poly, from a jealous wreck to someone who had learned to love herself and meditate through the pain. That’s not what happened. I’m not sure if it’s ever going to happen. My husband hasn’t had enough actual relationships to give me practice experiencing the very discomfort that makes me want to scream until my insides explode out, and the few times it has happened, I felt like I was living in a shock chamber and turning into the kind of person I don’t want to be.

I wanted to evolve, for the sake of my readers, into someone who fully accepts a poly lifestyle. To show that it can be done. No -- to show, specifically, that I could do it, that I could logic and reason my way through all the shit and prove myself to be better than my jealousy. I don’t think that’s what’s going to end up happening. I think it’s no secret at this point that I don’t really love this whole poly thing. I am still actively choosing it, but not always for reasons that I endorse. What if I decided I didn’t want to do it anymore? Would I lose my husband? Would I lose my boyfriend? Could I ethically give up my relationship with my boyfriend to create monogamy with my husband? Could I ethically ask my husband not to go on dates while I still retain my relationship with my boyfriend? It’s all shit, really. None of it is a good outcome. And the pandemic has allowed me to stall my non-decisions for a year because it’s not like we can see other people anyway. And isn’t it great when some external force gives you a reprieve from the things you’re afraid of.

But while the pandemic has put my poly life on pause, it’s put my healing and growth around poly stuff on pause as well. Sure, it feels fucking great on the surface, but it’s not actual growth. I’m not forever in a place where I will feel secure. It’s going to end eventually (vaccinate me, babyyyyyyyy!!!), and the parties will start again, and the dates will start again, and my terrified introvert ass is afraid that everything collectively will swing in the opposite direction super hard. Free love! Casual sex everywhere! Everyone wants to hang out all the time! How could you possibly want to be alone at a time like this! And that fear extends beyond poly stuff and beyond just me and my husband - I’m not ready for the world to become a giant party. I don’t want that world. I don’t want to live in that world but I also don’t want to miss out on the collective bonding experience that is almost sure to come from the end of Covid. So the reprieve I’m feeling now is only surface level great because it’s a pause, not an end, and I don’t feel any more equipped to deal with my jealousy and my social anxiety and my feelings of not being good enough than I did at the beginning of this damn pandemic.

Part of me wishes I could “get over my shit”, and part of me wants to cling onto my shit and defend it. Like why am I the one who has to change, why am I the one who has to evolve, what’s wrong with feeling the way I feel? Why is this a “my shit” thing, like I’m alone and all my problems are caused by my own feelings? Why do other people NeEeEeEeEd to go on dates and have sex. Why does my husband need that. Why am I not good enough. Why is the problem that I feel jealousy and insecurity; why is the problem not that he feels [insert whatever he feels here. unsatisfied? no, that’s not it. incapable of being fully satisfied by a single person? that seems extreme. incapable of surrounding himself with platonic friendships in the way that comes so naturally to me and many of my women friends, and much more able to connect with people he is in a romantic/sexual relationship with, and so needs to create many romantic/sexual relationships to fill that void that otherwise would be filled with friendships - which is not actually something I believe about him, I think he could make really great friendships with the right tools, but is something he’s expressed to me and is also something that’s pretty common around people raised as men? is that too harsh?]

I’m trying to look for a good ending for this post, but, like an explanation for my feelings, I don’t think I’m going to find satisfaction here.

#polyamory #Poly #nonmonogamy #non monogamy #polyam

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loverontheleft · 4 years

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The Honeymoon Ones (11)

Parts 1-10 on my Masterlist

1.5k -||- AU!B x Reader

Warnings: language, dirty talk, oral sex

Y’all didn’t think it was done, did you?? jk because I definitely did but here we are 👀

-||-

You’re both laying still in each other’s arms, breathing slowly. You’ve been trying to sleep for easily thirty minutes now, but your brain will not rest. You can’t shake the awkward feeling, and you’re mentally kicking yourself. It shouldn’t be awkward, you tell your brain. We’ve slept in beds together before.

Yes, your brain concedes. But that was on friendly trips and you each had your own side of the bed. Not snuggled up together. And...you weren’t naked and freshly fucked. You can’t help it; you let out a frustrated whine. Brendon lifts his head to peer at you.

“Y/n? You okay?” His fingertips draw slow patterns down your spine and you nod. “Okay…not sure I believe you, but okay,” he drawls, kissing your neck. “So then what was the whine about?”

“My brain. I’m - does this feel weird to you?” You peer up at him. “I don’t want it to feel weird. My brain is telling me it is. I’m arguing with myself. I’m in my own head. I mean - we’ve shared beds before, right? That was my main argument against my brain.”

“Mmm,” Brendon agrees thoughtfully. “But to your brain’s credit, when we’ve shared beds before...we were fully clothed, not cuddling, and we definitely hadn’t just had incredible sex.” He ticks these points off on his fingers.

You sigh. “That’s what my brain is saying.”

“Okay.” Brendon sits up now. “Do you think we’re moving too fast?” You shake your head vigorously. “You sure? I can - I mean, we don’t have to - there’s a lovely couch. I absolutely do not mind sleeping on-“

“B, no. That’s - no. That makes no sense. We just…” you gesture between your bodies. “No. I want to be close to you. I want this. Being here in bed with you like this. I think my brain is just catching up to my body’s understanding that we’re - we’ve - been intimate.” You blush a little and Brendon smiles, stroking your cheek.

“The offer stands. I want to be close to you too, but I understand where your brain is coming from. It’s... a lot. The physical aspect of it - that’s a very in the moment thing. Here, now, after? I get it. It does feel strange, but not in a bad way. Just in a new way. A new way I’m very excited about exploring.” He tilts your chin up so he can kiss you softly. “I meant it every time I said it, Ko. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper, pressing against him. “I meant it every time too.” He grins and rolls onto his back, adjusting his arm so you can stretch out with your head on his chest.

“Is this okay?” He strokes a hand gently over your hair and you nod. “We’re okay?”

“We’re okay,” you confirm. “What you said about it being strange in a new way - yes. That clicked. I feel - yes. We’re good.” You let your fingers wander over his chest and stomach, breathing in the scent of his skin. “I might actually fall asleep,” you murmur.

“You need your rest, duckling,” Brendon agrees. “We both do. We were both-“ he pauses to laugh a little. “Very enthusiastic. And someone promised to teach me her favorite positions. So we’ll need energy for that.” He nuzzles you affectionately. “You’re really going to sleep, right? You’re not telling me that so I won’t worry about you and then you’re going to lay here stressing while I sleep?”

“I’m-“ you pause to yawn. “I’m really going to sleep,” you assure him. “Thank you. I love you.” It’s a thrill every time you say it.

“I love you too,” he whispers, beaming as you snuggle into him and close your eyes.

-||-

“Bren... Brendon? Are you awake?” You nudge his calf with your toe and lift your head. He’s stirring and you press closer to him, body aching for his touch. “Bunnnnnnnnny,” you whisper, and his eyes flutter open.

“Mmmph - Y/n - are you okay?” Brendon asks when he focuses on your face. You nod and he relaxes before looking towards the balcony where it’s still dark. “What time is it?”

“Smooching time,” you tell him before shifting so you’re on top of him. “I waited as long as possible and I didn’t want to wake you, but I woke up and I just neeeeeeeeded your kisses. So I pounce.” You bat your eyes at him and he laughs, tangling a hand in your hair and bringing your mouth down to his.

“Pounce away. You’re the cutest,” he mumbles, groaning when you scratch down his chest and urge his lips apart so you can tease his tongue. “Damn, your mouth-“ he sighs into the kiss. “Wake me up for this any time. Fuck…”

You smile and wiggle so one of his thighs is in between yours. Just his kisses are enough to turn you on and you love how good it feels to rub up against his thigh. “Is this okay?”

“Fuck yes,” Brendon declares, moving a hand from your hair down to the small of your back. “Love feeling you. God, you’re so wet, baby…” he groans when you rock against him. “Need more kisses,” he whispers, pressing his lips to yours. “Need more of you.”

You’re moving on his thigh with more urgency, kissing him needily, moaning when his tongue meets yours. The embrace is heated and you can feel his dick pressing into you. “I want - can I try something?” You’re breathless, looking down at him with heavy eyes.

“Of course,” he murmurs, in awe of you with your messy hair, swollen lips, and flushed face. “Anything. Try anything with me.”

You shift on top of him so you can grind against the length of his cock - he feels so good against your clit that you instinctively gasp and press down harder. “Oh shit-“ you sigh, clinging to him and moving faster. “Is this okay?”

Brendon lets out a strangled laugh and meets your eyes. “You’re naked and rubbing your wet pussy up and down my cock - it’s incredible. Such a tease, but so good... it’s so good.” You grin and move faster, moaning when you feel him throb under you. He stretches out a hand towards the bag of condoms and you bat his hand away. “Y/n, you’re gonna make me come like this before I even get inside you,” Brendon groans, panting and clutching your hip. “You gotta let me put a condom on so we can-“

“That’s the plan. This is how I’m going to make you come,” you tell him. He’s wide-eyed and biting his lip. “I promise it’ll be okay - just...warn me,” you reassure him. “I might get lost in the feeling,” you say with a laugh. He nods and starts moving back against you. Your eyes roll back when he starts sliding the length of his cock along your entrance and, watching you carefully, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit.

“So hot,” he manages, squeezing your hip. “You’re so fucking hot - working over my cock like this - fuck I’m -“ Brendon gasps, back arching and cock twitching.

“Close?” You manage to get the word out as your own orgasm rips through you. “I’m - oh fuck yes, press against my clit with your - fuck yes!” Your squeals push him closer and he clutches at you desperately, thrusting hard against you so the head of his cock is right against your clit. It’s electricity through you and you can feel your body trembling all over.

“Close,” Brendon grunts, and you force yourself off of him so you can place yourself between his legs. “I’m so - oh fuck Y/n, that’s it, just like that!”

Your lips close around the tip of his cock and your hand wraps around his length, stroking him eagerly. You look up to meet his eyes and it sets him off, seeing you with his cock in your mouth. “Fuck- now-“ Brendon says, voice tight, groaning as he spills into your mouth. You let out a happy whine as you keep stroking his dick, wanting to coax every drop of him onto your tongue. The sharp taste makes you lick the tip eagerly, hand still moving over his cock until he goes limp under you. “Fuck yes, baby…” he sighs in pleasure, letting his cock slip from your grasp. “You’re too good at that,” he mumbles when you're back in his arms.

You laugh and lick your lips with satisfaction. “Is there any such thing?” You ask and he looks at you with wide eyes.

“Yes. Your mouth is incredible. Coming in your mouth was - mind blowing. Fuck, you’re so - sexy and - your mouth is just...Soft, wet, warm, tight around my cock-“ he breaks off. “All of these descriptions would work for your pussy too.” He grins sleepily and you giggle. “Damn, Y/n,” he whispers. “Wake me up for smooches anytime. Holy shit.”

“Will do,” you say with a smile. “Think you can fall back asleep?” You run a hand through his hair and he turns his head to place a delicate kiss to your inner wrist.

“Definitely. You?”

“Uh huh,” you say with a yawn. “Wore myself out.”

Brendon laughs and tugs the sheets back up over you. “Rest, love. You’ve earned it,” he teases. “You still feel weird about sleeping like this?”

“Nope,” you mumble. “I’m getting used to it. I like it.” You smile up at him. “I like it a lot.”

“I do too,” he tells you. “I do too, Ko.”

#brendon urie #brendon urie smut #my work #brendon urie imagine #he could fuck me any way he wanted #brendon x reader #fanfic #imagine #the honeymoon ones #brendon urie fic #brendon smut #work in progress

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skaiatemple · 4 years

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October 23rd is the Festival of Light!

If you follow as a practitioner of Pop Culture Paganism, a user of Homestuck inspired Chaos Magic, or just want to use your favorite series to inspire you throughout the year, Skaia Temple is your resource center!

Whether you want to just celebrate it on the day, use it as a date for empowered energy, integrate it into your more mundane celebrations, or just appreciate your favorite characters and concepts this month, we have suggestions for whatever path you want to take with us!

Read below the cut for a condensed idea & resource list for this month of Light!

Aspect Centered Celebrate the Aspect in all its glory if you’re all about on celebrating the Festivals for exactly what they represent: The Aspect and all the traits associated with it.

“The Light-bound will go after knowledge with a fierce intensity that others may find distasteful. They aren’t overly concerned with laws or norms, either. They often take rules as simple suggestions.”

Light in about Learning, and the good fortune of doing so. Light-bound might even enjoy the journey of learning something new than the actual information being obtained.

Light is about researching and understanding anything and everything that tickles your fancy. Maybe you could channel it into some academic study- or if you’ve had more than enough of that during the season of Mind, use Light to represent something more interest-led. Maybe you want to learn how to maintain a Cthuluian tabletop campaign! I bet you’d be gr8.

A Light-bound would probably also enjoy making and maintaining a blog about their favorite interest, like say, a Tumblr blog about Homestuck Paganism and Witchcraft. Maybe they’d even be good at it! At the very least they’d be stubbornly persistent about it. Maybe your only goal could be to compile all the information you can on a subject just to put it all in one place to answer any and everyone's questions. You could be so eager to do so you would be willing to pay people to listen. Light Aspect.

This month is for shining a Light on any area you may find too dark.

Magical Inspiration If you want to use Homestuck concepts more abstractly and need some ideas for what brands of magic would work best for the season, if you have an Aspect or character-themed spell, feel free to send it in so it can be added to this section!

There’s always things you could learn and improve. Be it about yourself, or others- or just something you care about. But before you can improve it you must understand every facet about it.

Divination is a shortcut for understanding future likelihoods and getting a different perspective on subjects. Or perhaps you already know exactly what you want to be or should be doing, and your difficulty is in focusing on it. Sometimes you have far too many subjects to just sit down and choose one, and then you could use divination and Oracle readings to point you in a direction. The most important part is to start the journey.

Here is a Vriska-themed spell for self forgiveness. Here is a Light themed spell for good fortune. Here is a short essay on other ways you can celebrate the Light Festival. And Here is a customizable Light Affirmation poem.

Integration Route For people in the broom closet who are too timid or anxious to celebrate the Festivals openly- you can always integrate the Aspects traits to fit in with the more common trends and holidays of the month. Not even Hussie is is Homestuck God, no one will mind!

You don’t need me to tell you that Halloween is coming up! Which also means Samhain. This is a time where the veil is thin, and spooky interests, activities or questions isn’t out of the ordinary. Go as a witch (or your favorite troll) this year and really get into the character. At this time we have a clearer view of the other side, ripe both for communication, questions, and an exchange of power- if you know how to be safe and responsible about it.

Fandom Driven For if you’re not all about spirituality or routine and just want to enjoy going all-out with a beloved story & characters, you can honor the ones of this month by driving full-throttle on the fandom bandwagon.

Light Aspect is for the ever pro8lematic Serkets, which include polar opposites in their use of the Light Aspect. Perhaps you just neeeeeeeed to know Everything! So you can have irons in EVERY FIRE! Or perhaps your use of Light is more predictable and quiet, a simple trivia junkie craving to share it with everyone. Whichever side of the spectrum you’re on, it’s probably in everyone’s best interest to use your knowledge for Good. Stan Vriska though

It’s also the Aspect for the studious Rose Lalonde, simultaneously a bookish nerd while also being mercilessly reckless in her pursuit of What Is The Coolest Way To Break Reality. Light is an interesting aspect. Its the Read or Die anime full of scary girls who murder people with books. Stan Vriska

Draw art, write fic, and post analysis’ for all of these awful, messy, galaxy brained geek girls!

We hope you got some ideas for activities you can do with your friends or otherwise use to inspire and better yourself this month. Everyone plays the game of life differently, and everyone's beliefs are their own. Celebrate yourself as you see fit, and Thanks for Playing with Us. Stan Vriska

~Mod Bee

#festivals #light guide #light aspect

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post-itpenny · 4 years

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Gravity

A short, Among Us AU fic.

“Alight, up onto the scanner with you. Hop, hop!”

Atlas did as instructed, stepping up onto the platform and staying as still as he could as a beam came up from the floor and phased over his body.

“Hmm, what did we say your weight was last time?”

“I dunno ma’am.” Adeline sighed, she could always check his older charts. “Well the good news is you’re taller-“

“Yes!”

“-by one centimeter.”

“.... oh.”

The doctor chuckled as she helped her patient down from the scanner. “Don’t be in such a rush, you’ll be whacking your head on the doorframes in no-time.”

As she watched the boy rush to grab a candy from the jar on her desk Adeline couldn’t help but smile, she really did enjoy her work…

...And Adeline has been pretending to be a doctor for a very long time.

In reality it started as a need. An excuse to be in a station. She killed the lot of them by the end of it but still had fun pretending to take care of them. Learning how to treat injuries and make diognosis on the fly. She got a lot of it wrong and she was still amazed she had not been voted out. But the incident launched a pursuit of any medical knowledge she could get her claws on. Canis has been helpful with this, the old dog loved hording any books and tablets he could from the stations he visited. In the end the idea formed between them, a retirement of sorts, though only temporary.

Adeline knew if they didn’t transfer then one meeting the question would be raised of how old they actually were, but for now she suspected they had a few more years.

Pretending to be human, she found, as in really pretending, was rather enjoyable. A game of pretend for occasional risks.

It was a shame they weren’t the only imposters on board.

It was at that moment there was a loud “click!” That could be heard through the entire station. At first Adeline only noticed a slight shift in the air but it was Atlas’ gasp of surprise that made her realize the two of them were beginning to float off the ground.

Actually, everything not attached to the floor was floating.

Oh…. the gravity engine was off.

As Atlas laughed in delight Adeline did her best to look around the room and assess the situation. There was a great deal of glass now floating in the air, she didn’t want to think about what would happen when the gravity came back in.

“Boy! help me get all this in the cabinets.”

It was not the first time Adeline was grateful that the child generally liked to be helpful and in no time anything fragile had been shoved away somewhere safe. However the gravity was still off and she was getting annoyed.

“Atlas why don’t you go find your parents? I’m sure they could use your help as well.”

She watched the boy float off and I to the hallway before trying her best to pull herself to the floor and into a nearby vent.

It was certainly faster travel now that she had walls to propel herself along. But when Adeline reached security all she found was an extremely grumpy imposter stuck to the ceiling.

Canis was rather put-out, to say the least.

“So,” Adeline sighed as she pulled him down, “which of them did it?”

Canis huffed in annoyance as he clung to his desk, flipping through camera feeds, “the siblings were in the cafeteria the whole time,” he explained. The two of them watching as Cecaelia and her sibling took turns with a delighted Maggie doing somersaults through the air. No doubt this was a dream come true for the redhead.

“But that’s not far from Control.”

“Yes you’re right,” Canis acknowledged. “However pink is hopeless at sabotaging anything and you know it.”

“Which leaves-“

“No one was in the hallway outside control Addie, do the math.”

Adeline pinches the bridge of her nose, she really had actually hoped it would be Pink, she was easier to deal with.

“It’s your turn by the way,” Canis said with a slight smirk.” Camera showed her in the observation deck, take vent 12 it should be safe. Oh and Addie? Have fun.”

Adeline and Canis both agreed Maeve really should be ejected at some point.

Granted, there was the high chance she wouldn’t survive, but if she did then maybe it would knock some common courtesy into her.

Whereas her ward was zooming through the air having the time of her life, Maeve simply floated. Her hair framing her head like a halo as she looked up and the glass above, revealing an endless expanse of stars. The image would have been quite serene if Adeline wasn’t so annoyed.

“White.”

“Hmm?”

“Did you turn off the gravity engine?”

“Hmmmm?”

Adeline gritted her teeth. “White, why did you turn off the gravity engine?”

Maeve flipped over, pupils changing from a soft blue to a burning white. “Why not?”

“Fix it.”

“I need you to put this in the centrifuge,” Maeve responded as she pulled a vial of dark red liquid from her pocket to pass on to the doctor. “I would use mine but I don’t think she likes seeing her blood spin around on a high-speed carousel.”

It was comments like that which reminded Adeline of how Maeve used to be before she was taken over, how the parasite even got aboard the ship neither she nor Canis had a clue. But they both agreed they liked the old Maeve better.

“You know how to use a centrifuge, do it yourself.” Adeline snapped.

“But I neeeeeeeed yours.”

“Well I need you to fix the gravity.”

“I don’t see how this actually counts as sabotage,” Maeve sighed as she flipped back over to view the sky. “A little less gravity never hurt anyone.”

“I had to belt down my lab White.”

“I had to do the same with mine.”

“Yes but I didn’t turn off the gravity.”

“The stars float, or do you think they hang where they are?”

Adeline blinked, rather put off by the question. “They would have to hang from something. They float.”

“But they create a gravitational pull, so do objects hang from them?”

“I suppose.”

“Hmmm…. how clingy.”

“Maeve, Fix the gravity.”

“Put my sample in the centrifuge.”

“Did you take that this morning? Don’t you think the blood loss plus no gravity would make her ill?”

Granted, Adeline knew for a fact it didn’t, judging by the security feed. But it was clear Maeve didn’t know this, her eyes going wide for a second before snapping her fingers.

There was a loud “click!” as Adeline’s feet touched the floor. Maeve falling down in a heap rather unceremoniously.

Adeline snatched up the vial, “what were you actually hoping to accomplish with no gravity?”

Maeve sat up with a huff, “nothing. I was just doing as they asked.”

“Who asked?”

Maeve gave a wide grin, looking up at the doctor as she tapped her temple with fingers too long for any person.

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sagechanoafterdark · 4 years

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hey, i feel like you had a billy loomis drunk drabble up and i can’t find like ANY good fics for him anymore and if it was the one here i read it CONSTANTLY so if you took it down, would you mind sending me it or something of the like? i’ll literally send you five bucks for it bc that’s abt all i can afford to do but i NEEEEEEEED billy content

Hello! This sounds like an awesome story but I've never written for Billy Loomis before. Honestly I'm not even sure who it is less I see a picture 😂So I think you're thinking of someone else work. Does anyone know who this story is from?

Edit: this story was written by someone who's left tumblr. Sorry. 😪

Hope you can find a new story to love.

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disabled-queen-hc-blog · 5 years

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i need more aide crystal and john idk what theyd be doing but i NEED IT I NEEEEEEEED IT ITS A N E E D

Me too ;-;

I can imagine Crystal imparting important lessons to John.

One of the most frequent conversations they have is about good touch and bad touch. It’s something that terrifies Crystal. John being taken advantage of. He has issues with his naivete and understanding danger.

So Crystal is like a good touch is something that makes you feel good, comfortable and nice. Hugs can be a good touch if you want a hug. A pat on the shoulder. Holding hands. As long as you feel okay and not worried, confused, in pain, it’s a good touch!

Bad touches hurt, make you feel uncomfortable or make you worry. Someone pushing you to make you fall down is a bad touch. Someone hugging you against your will is a bad touch. Someone slapping you is a bad touch.

And if someone does a bad touch, you scream as loud as you can!! Or push them off. Or leave the area. And then you tell me, your mum or someone else you trust.

John being famous leaves him so vulnerable to people manipulating him. Crystal wants to drill that into John’s head. Good vs bad touches!!!

Another lesson is good and bad people.

Once again, John is surrounded by people with various intentions. Crystal isn’t always there. Neither is his mum or the boys. He has to know about what good people ask and expect of him versus bad people.

Good people ask you how your day is. They don’t ask for your credit card number. They talk about the weather and what’s on the news. Not about very private topics. A good person offers to pay for lunch. Not ask you to pay for their new car. Stuff like that. This is also another one he talks with John about a lot.

Some other lessons are hygiene. People don’t want to be your friend if you smell bad. (John can be a stinky boy)

Friendship is a two way street. You have to give to get and vice versa.

Family is important but not everything. Some of John’s family are less than savory and it hurts John a lot, but Crystal just reminds him, The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. John doesn’t like that phrase ‘cuz womb sounds funny.

They have a lot of talks and it’s just to explain things to John in a way he can understand. John is smart but some things go over his head and a lot of people don’t want to take the time to sit down with him and explain it in ways he can digest and remember. Not Crystal! Crystal wants the best for John and will spend 4 hours talking about how to count money if he needs to. John deserve to interact in the world as best as he can without limits!!!!

#john #autistic!john #Anonymous

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conversationswithhank · 7 years

Photo

Hank: (dramatically belly flops on my bed)

Me: (awakened from my mindfulness practice)

Hank: Harrumph.

Me: What’s up, buttercup?

Hank: (solid whine) I can’t find my pen.

Me: We have 10000000 pens in this house.

Hank: Not that kind of pen my pen for my school computer work.

Me: Oh, your thumb-drive.

Hank: I don’t know why you call it that. No one calls it that.

Me: Alright Sassafras, when was the last time you remember having your pen for the computers at school?

Hank: In Visual Education class. I had to do a drawing and I took it out when I was selecting my colored pencils.

Me: And is it in your pencil case now?

Hank: No.

Me: And is it in your backpack?

Hank: NO! Argh, I am so stupid!

Me: Nope.

Hank: What?

Me: No way.

Hank: WHHAATT? I am! I am so stupid! I lose everything!

Me: STOP RIGHT NOW.

Hank: (taken aback)

Me: You do not get to walk into this room and be self-deprecating. I REFUSE to participate in that kind of behavior. You can be frustrated. You can be annoyed. You can even think it is funny that things slip in and out of your life and disappear like snow flakes on warm pavement, but you do not under any circumstances get to come into my room, into my calm and loving space and expect me to participate in your insulting and punishing behavior over a trivial mistake. YOU are not stupid.

Hank: BUT I…

Me: NOPE!

Hank: But mom, listen.

Me: I REFUSE! You made a mistake and it is time to learn from it. What have you learned, Hank?

Hank: (button pushing) That I am stupid.

Me: No matter how hard you try to get into trouble by sassing me I refuse to punish you because I know that is what you want. This is unacceptable behavior. STOP. What did you learn from this totally normal, happens-to-everyone kind of mistake, Hank?

Hank: That I lose everything.

Me: Stop. Sit up. I can’t sit up right now, but you can so sit up and look at me.

Hank: (sits up and meets my gaze, shoulders slumped, spine in a c-curve)

Me: (lovingly) Hank, I can see now that my suggestion of keeping your school thumb-drive, I mean computer pen, in your pencil case was a mistake. It is easy for something so small to slip to the floor or hide in a shadow and for you to walk away from it. Look for it tomorrow at school and if it is indeed lost we will just get you a new computer pen.

Hank: But I neeeeeeeed it for tommorrrroooowww!

Me: And I can’t do anything about it now. You’ve waited until too late to pack your backpack when I specifically told you this afternoon that if you have no homework then your first job when you walk into this house is to swap out your school books and make sure you are prepared for the next day.

Hank: ARGH! (slaps himself on the forehead very hard)

Me: STOP! Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare abuse and insult my son, WHO I LOVE, who is learning something new. You have never had so many responsibilities given to you to execute in such a short time and you have to be polite to yourself when you’re learning something new. Your teachers understand that which is why tomorrow you will stop into the Visual Education classroom and ask your teacher if he has seen your computer pen.

Hank: But he hasn’t he would have said something.

Me: You don’t know that. You don’t know if he found it later and placed it on his desk. After you speak to your Visual Education teacher if he doesn’t have it you will ask the functionaries (school aids and employees) if they have it in the lost and found box.

Hank: I don’t have that much time in the morning.

Me: You do if you make the time. You walk to school. Get to school 9 minutes earlier. I acknowledge that you made a mistake and lost something you need so be proactive enough to try and find it and I guarantee that your teachers will respect you for trying to correct your mistake. If you don’t find it then I will take you to buy a new one tomorrow and together we’ll come up with a better solution to keep it secure in your possession.

Hank:

Me:

Hank:

Me: You still want to punish yourself don’t you?

Hank: I just am so full of… ARGH!

Me: You’ve had a destructive habit of self-punishment since you were a toddler and it will take strength and practice to forgive yourself when you make a mistake and move on without self-abuse.

Hank:

Me:

Hank:

Me: How do you feel? Tell me about the storm inside.

Hank: My chest is like pressure and my breath is caught in my throat and I just want to scream, “I am so stupid,” over and over and over. My head hurts and my hands want to make fists and I want to cry forever.

Me: (deep, loud, exaggerated inhale and long exhale) A few years ago I would have wanted to take on all your feelings and absorb then like a sponge so you wouldn’t feel them alone.

Hank: (looking up)

Me: Does that make sense, because I mean that sincerely. When someone that I loved was hurting I used to collect all of their big, terrible feelings and soak them all up and also feel them so that they wouldn’t hurt alone. No one knew I did that, how could they, but it made me feel like I was helping. I don’t know when I started that habit. Maybe when I was Molly’s age, but it took a lot of work to stop consuming other people’s pain and instead sit with them, listen to them and empathize without feeling their pain, too.

Hank: (rather quietly) I don’t know how that feels but I know what you mean if that makes sense.

Me: Makes perfect sense.

Hank: It is like how you’re sick and even right now I can see you’re all swollen and in pain and tiredand I want to feel that pain so you don’t have to, but I can’t, but I want to, so like, I get what you’re saying.

Me: We can’t help someone if we take on their struggle. We can’t. It is impossible, because then we are struggling too. If you can’t break the habit of punishing yourself when something goes wrong you will never be able to grow and cope and function in this world. We all make mistakes and the key is to learn from them. You can be frustrated and you should be frustrated. If you had walked into this room frustrated about losing your computer pen then we would be having a very different conversation right now, but I absolutely refuse, flat out, never and no way will I participate in your self-deprecation, in the way you abuse yourself, because it is wrong and it has to end. Losing you computer pen the night before you need it is frustrating, but there is absolutely no correlation between an annoying mistake and your intelligence. Your father is a doctor and loses everything, a million times a day, all day long and he is soooooooo smart, not smarter than me, but still very, very smart. You’re argument about losing things being a direct result of stupidity does not hold water.

Hank: (giggling because he knows it is true)

Me: My amazing, loving, important GAWD DAMN DOCTOR OF COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT partner in life could not find his belt the other day, which I found in 0.8 seconds, but will they take away is Ph.D. for it?

Hank: (smiling) No.

Me: No. You’ve gotta learn to stay calm. Tell that voice inside your head that starts abusing you, calling you stupid and questioning you, to shut up. SHUUUUTTTT UPPPPP!

Hank: (laughing)

Me: You punch that voice in the face then take a huge, deep breath, because it is just a computer pen. It isn’t dire and even if it was a dire mistake if you fall into that abusive pattern you won’t have the ability to learn, fix, grow and evolve past that moment and you’ll get stuck. If you do the math and contemplate spending your entire life time crashing landing on my bed, broken by every little, small, normal accidental folly then you will have no time to laugh, take walks, enjoy life, eat ice cream, swim, puddle jump without that abusive voice inside telling you how much you suck.

Hank: (deep, accepting breath)

Me: The change won’t happen overnight, but I know you can do this.

Hank: How? That voice is loud and that voice is me!

Me: (trumpeting his victory) Whoosh, baby, you just halfway won the battle already!

Hank: (furled brow of disbelief)

Me: You know that voice is you. YOU. IT’S YOU! And if the abuser is you then you are the one with all the power to stop it. Do not let that lying, manipulative, ASSHOLE, part of you get to win!

Hank: MOM!

Me: What? The abusive you is an asshole! I don’t want to hang out with the abusive, lying, asshole part of your brain and neither should you. We all, every single person on this planet have an inner voice wants to undermine us and, Hank, if you can punch that part of you in the face, that scared asshole part of you that abuses you, you will be doing yourself a life long favor because the longer you let that part of you win the harder it will be to gain the control over it in the future and eventually you will have to or he will win every time, every single time and you deserve better than to be consumed by hateful lies.

Hank:

Me: How do you feel now?

Hank: (sigh) Tired.

Me: Battles are exhausting.

Hank: I am going to go and be alone for a while and listen to some music.

Me: Okay, thank you for talking to me and for listening. It isn’t your fault you have an abusive voice inside you, every single person has one, but you’re right that the voice is you, therefore you have the power to not let you hurt you anymore.

Hank: Tomorrow, I will go and look for my pen and even if I don’t find it I will be okay. I will be okay.

Me: You will. I promise you will be okay.

Hank: Thanks, mama.

Me: Love you, buddy. When you find your computer pen or we buy a new one we will attach a string to it and tie it to something you take to school everyday, like your planner or your pencil case.

Hank: That is a good idea. (oozes off the bed, worn out)

Me: (stares up at the ceiling, equally exhausted, because being a parent is no joke)

youtube

This is currently Hank’s favorite song. He spent the rest of the night listening to it on repeat.

#conversations with hank #self harm #abuse #lying brain #gaining control #the voice is me #ten years old #self deprecation #small mistake #i'm so stupid #abusive behavior #boy mom #i refuse to partisipate #mom life #do the work #building his emotional toolbox #big feelings #parenting my kid

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ylla · 7 years

Text

Friday Night Gurus - Chapter 2

Series: JJBA Ships: josuyasu, koichi/yukako (others will eventually happen too, but im tagging as i go) Tags: au where theyre famous, modern au, pining, recreational drug use (smoking that wacky tabaccy) Rating: M (eventually there will be sex, so that rating will keep climbing)

AO3 link

haha! i’m dying! (actually i’m starting to feel better) but at least i have these dorks to carry me on through this trying time.

remember to kudos the fic, comment on the fic, and bookmark the fic if you wanna see more of the same content

The second time they meet, it’s at some hoity-toity Hollywood party a few weeks later. Josuke had been invited with no intention on going, but when Koichi not-so-subtly dropped hints that the members of Arrowhead would be there, Josuke personally called the party planner and let them know that he had changed his mind and would DEFINITELY be attending. And since the party in question was at famed producer Bruno Bucciarati's house, Josuke knew it was bound to be mostly chill. Which was good, because the last thing he needed was to make drunken fool of himself. Josuke was in the middle of the monumental task of getting ready when his phone rang. "Hey mom," he answered in greeting, "I gotcha on speaker phone" Tomoko Higashikata came in loud and clear, "Hi honey, what are you doing tonight?" His hair was taking a lot of concentration, "Oh you know, got some party Koichi conned me into going to. I'm in the middle of getting ready." Tomoko tsked, "It won't hurt you to go out, you're in that house by yourself too much." She wasn't wrong. When Tomoko first returned to New York City, Josuke partied for a couple of years like the world was ending, but eventually he got bored of that, and became more or less a homebody (or hermit, as she put it). He guessed turning 24 did that to you. "Yeah, yeah, don't nag me." "I just worry about you, dear. Anyways," he heard her shuffling around, "Is that boy going to be there?" It was probably a mistake that he mentioned his harmless crush to her, but another side effect of being so far away from her was that he just spilled his guts to her every time he opened his mouth. Josuke groaned, not really wanting to talk about it, "He's supposed to be." "Is that how Koichi got you to go?" "Maybe?" Tomoko snorted, "Well, have fun. And don't forget to get his number this time." "Thanks for reminding me of my failures, mom." She chuckled, "I'm just teasing--" she was cut off by someone talking to her, "I'm talking to Josuke, do you wanna say hi? Josuke," her attention returned to their call, "your grandpa wants to say hi." The phone fumbled for a minute before Ryohei spoke, "Hey kiddo." Josuke smiled as he finished his hair. Looking good. "Hey gramps, how you feelin'?" "I'm feeling just fine. Doctor cleared me to run that marathon, so I’ve been preparing all week.”

“Don’t overdo it,” Josuke warned, struggling to get his pants on, “Don’t need you keeling over on me, old man.” He sounded flippant to downplay his anxiety over his grandfather’s health.

The bark-like laugh Ryohei made Josuke feel a little better, “You don’t have to worry about me, Josuke. Your mom keeps me in check.”

“Yeah, well, someone has to.”

Ryohei laughed again, “I won’t keep you. Just wanted to say hi and wish you luck in your hunt tonight.”

Josuke could hear the sparkles in his grandfather’s eyes. He hated it. “Yeah, yeah. Go to bed, old man.”

He got an exaggerated sigh for his trouble, “I’m going, I’m going. You nag me as much as your mother does. I love you, don’t get arrested.”

“Thanks gramps, love you too. Give the phone back to mom.”

A few seconds later, Tomoko came back, “I’m going let you go, you have fun at your party—“

“I will—“

“Don’t total Koichi’s car again—“

Josuke scowled, “I won’t—“

“And remember to practice safe sex—“

“MOTHER—“

Tomoko was snickering, “Just making sure!”

“I’m hanging up. Love you.”

“Love you too! Call me later!”

Josuke ended the call, sat his iPhone carefully on his sink counter, put his face in his hands and screamed. Those two will be the death of him.

Koichi arrived at 8 o’clock sharp, looking like a man who was about to walk to the gallows, “Let’s get this over with.”

Once in the car, Josuke took one look at his friend’s sullen face. “Okay, so if you didn’t wanna go, why did you keep saying, ‘Oh hey Josuke, you should go to this party at Bruno’s with me because there might be some people there you wanna see and possible get their number from’???”

“Because Josuke, I’m a good friend,” Koichi responded, eyes forward as they cruised to Bruno’s house, “That Okuyasu guy is supposed to be there, and you’ve been sulking over not getting his number long enough—”

“I HAVE NOT—“

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Josuke was genuinely touched. Koichi was such a good person, so willing to sacrifice his own comfort for someone he called a friend. He—

“Wait a minute…” Josuke narrowed his eyes, “How do you know he’s gonna be there?”

“…A little bird told me?”

“It was that Yukako chick wasn’t it?” Josuke rolled his eyes so hard, he was surprised they didn’t pop out of his skull, “Dude, you don’t need me to wingman, she’s obviously into you.”

“Yeah, I know! A little too into me!” Koichi shivered, “She invited me and I hedged on going, tried to make up some excuse using you, and then she mentioned that her bandmate would be there, and I…thought you would wanna go, so I said I would be there…” he finished sheepishly.

“God. Okay.” Josuke pinched the bridge of his nose as they pulled into a substantial driveway, “I appreciate you looking out for me. You’re a good, sweet boy, Koichi.”

Koichi crinkled his nose, “I think that’s the exact same thing my mom says to me. Besides, you’ll have fun. Trust me.” Every time Koichi has said any variation of ‘Trust me’ before Josuke was about to do something he didn’t wanna do, it never ended well. He must have seen the look of trepidation on Josuke’s face, because he followed up with, “Keep an open mind. And if anything, you’ll have something new to tease me about.”

“I do love teasing you…” Josuke sighed, “Alright, let’s get this shit show on the road.”

Just like how Josuke was expecting the party to be like, the house was crowded with people, but the atmosphere was incredibly chill, save for some godawful piano playing and wailing going on in the next room.

“—YOU GOOOOT WHAT I NEEEEEEEED! BUT YOU SAY I’M JUST A FRIEND, YOU SAY I’M JUST A FRIEND—“

The host Bruno, and his cohort(? Boyfriend? Husband? Josuke wasn’t sure and never asked) Leone Abbachio were found in the foyer, with Bruno looking remarkably calm about the caterwauling in the next room and Abbachio drinking deeply from a half-empty wine bottle.

“Heeey guys, uh—“ Josuke rubbed the back of his head, “Nice party?”

“Good to see you Josuke,” Bruno shook his hand, then Koichi’s, not even flinching at the sound of a horribly off-key chorus.

“Uhm, who is playing—“ Koichi kind of gestured to the living room.

“You get one guess.” Abbachio replied, looking grim.

Josuke and Koichi both cocked their heads to the side to listen to the yowling.

“—OH BABY YOUUUU—“

They looked at each other before answering simultaneously, “Narancia.”

Abbachio nodded, “Un-fucking-fortunately.” He took a swig from his wine bottle to punctuate his statement.

“Is he drunk…?” asked Koichi, eyeing the entryway into the living room.

Bruno sipped his champagne, “Sober as a judge.”

Josuke left the trio when their conversation turned towards some boring ass label bullshit. He wandered into the next room, greeted by the sight of a woman lying on top of a baby grand piano with three completely sober dudes banging away on the keys while singing off-key. The other guests either ignored them completely, or stared at the group like they were a car set on fire.

“Josuke!” Trish Una hopped off the piano and rushed over to give him a hug. She had been discovered by Bruno, but didn’t get a lot of attention until her and Josuke did a duet. Sudden fame had come as a shock to her, and Josuke more or less took her under his wing.

He returned the hug, “Hey girl, I see that you guys are doing…something…here.”

“IT’S CALLED ART, HIGASHIKATA,” Narancia hollered, “MAYBE YOU’VE HEARD OF IT.” If you took a good look at Narancia Ghirga, you’d never expect the guy to be a rapper, but perhaps because it seemed so out of left field, that Josuke couldn’t help but think that’s why he was so popular.

“I think it’s called a mess, but you do you.”

Narancia made a face at Josuke as the two guys flanking him got up. “Sup,” greeted Mista, while Fugo waved. Mista Guido was the bassist of Passione, but that all went pear-shaped when he left the band due to, quote, ‘unrepentant dickery’, end quote. Pannacotta Fugo was one of the best choreographers Josuke had ever had the privilege of working with, and they collaborated often. They all used to go clubbing together, and it’s been a minute since Josuke has seen all of them in person.

Trish let go of Josuke to go wrap an arm around Mista’s shoulders, while he snaked an arm around her waist (Josuke had no idea what was going on there either, and honestly he didn’t want to). “Surprised to see you here! I’m glad though, I feel like it’s been forever since we were at a party together.”

“Yeah,” Fugo snorted, leaning against the piano, “Thought you’d decide to hang it all up to become the local hermit.”

“Fuck off, Fugo,” Josuke scowled.

“You wouldn’t like it, I’d just lay there and ask if it’s in yet.”

Before Josuke could retort or smack him, Narancia climbed up on the piano, mashing keys down with his feet as he struggled up, “If Josuke’s here, that means something special is happening tonight!” Narancia laid on his stomach, face propped up in his hands. He would be angelic and innocent if he didn’t have an impish look on his face, “You’re here for some hot piece of ass, ain’tcha?” That question was somehow made even worse by Narancia waggling his eyebrows.

Josuke was very aware of the amount of eyes on them, “Oh my god. Why can’t I just come hangout with it having some ulterior motive??”

Mista pointed at Josuke, “Do not lie to me in this house, Higashikata. We know better.”

“I’m not!”

“That sounds like something a liar would say.”

Josuke huffed, “You know what? I’m going outside—“

The four of them started howling with laughter, telling him not to go; Narancia’s quickly turning into whines as Abbachio stalked into the room, demanding he get his gremlin ass off of his piano, or so help him.

Taking that as his cue, Josuke escaped into the backyard. Thank god, no one else was out there. Josuke sat down on a patch of grass near the edge of Bruno’s backyard that overlooked the city. Damn bastard lucked out with the view. He lit a cigarette, then fired off a quick text to Koichi:

Josuke: I’m knocking Trish’s, Mista’s, Fugo’s, and Narancia’s heads together until they stop

Koi Boi: Stop what?

Josuke: Everything

Josuke: Also I’m out back in case inquiring minds want to know

Koi Boi: They aren’t here yet, but I’ll pass along the message.

So there he sat, looking like the aloof, cool guy he always wanted to be as a kid, but in reality, felt like a fucking imbecile. Sitting out there by himself with nothing, but dumb youtube videos to keep him company. After about an hour and two cigarettes later, Josuke realized that Okuyasu was never showing up and that he was moron for even assuming he would. He rubbed his right eye, this is what he gets for listening to Koichi. Josuke lit up one last cigarette; after he finished this, he was gonna tell Koichi that he was headed home for the night to go watch tv and be a lonely, miserable fuck.

“Uhm, is this seat taken?”

Josuke’s heart stopped and he inhaled too much cigarette smoke, causing him to cough. He whipped around to see who scared the ever-loving shit out of him, and was greeted to a contrite looking Okuyasu. He had his glasses on, hair pulled back into a ponytail, held two water bottles and also Josuke’s heart. I’m gonna die, he’s so hot.

“S-sorry dude, didn’t mean to surprise you you—“

“No, it’s okay,” Josuke struggled to get his coughing under control, “Sit down, ain’t no one out here but me.”

Okuyasu did as instructed, handing Josuke one of the water bottles he was holding, “You’ve been out here for a while, figured you might be thirsty.”

Grateful, Josuke took a sip of water, “You been here awhile?”

“Maybe 20 minutes at the most,” he scratched the back of his neck, looking mildly embarrassed, “I would’ve said hi sooner, but you looked like you were on the phone, or wanted to be alone—Which if that’s the case, I can go back inside—“

“No dude, it’s cool.” Josuke snubbed out the rest of his cigarette, “I don’t really do parties that much anymore, so I needed a break from all those people,” that statement wasn’t untrue, “You’re cool though, don’t sweat it.”

Okuyasu looked relieved, “Okay, cool.” They sat in comfortable silence for a little bit, looking out over Los Angeles.

“So,” Josuke had to get him talking, “How do you know Bruno?”

“Him and Eggplant produced our last album.”

Josuke had made the mistake of taking another sip of water when Okuyasu called Abbachio ‘Eggplant’, spewing water everywhere, “Eggplant??” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, that thing he wears on his head makes him look like an eggplant. S’what me and Yuuya got to calling him.”

Unable to help himself, Josuke threw his head back and laughed, “Oh man, I’ll have to remember to call him that.”

They made small talk for a while, before Okuyasu made to get up, “Hey uhm,” he rubbed the back of his neck again, “Do you wanna like, get out of here and go smoke a joint. I know Bruno is super straightlaced about that kinda thing—“

Josuke was up before he could even finish his sentence, speaking quickly, “Yes please, let’s fuck off. We can go back to my place if you want.”

Okuyasu’s lips curled up into this sunny smile; Josuke’s heart stuttered painfully, “Yeah dude, should I ride with you or—“

Not wanting to talk about his driving record, Josuke cut him off, “Koichi was my ride, I’ll just navigate.”

When they got back inside, Okuyasu went off to let Tonio know what he was doing (His reasoning for this was ‘He worries, plus I came with him and Yukako, so it’d be kinda fucked if I didn’t let one of ‘em know what was up.’) Josuke was too giddy to even realize that sharks out for blood had surrounded him. He was pulled down by arms around his shoulders, finding himself head to head with Trish and Narancia.

“Oooh, who’s that??”

“I KNEW YOU WERE HERE TO GET LAID, YOU FILTHY LYIN’ FUCK.”

“I didn’t! I just wanted to hang out!” Josuke tried to straighten up in vain; both of them were surprisingly strong and kept him bent over.

“Mhm,” Trish rolled her eyes before leaning in close, whispering conspiratorially, “That guy came in and asked me if I had seen you. I told him you were outside pouting like a big baby, and he stood at the door and watched you for like 15 minutes! Narancia convinced him to go out there, so you owe him one.”

Narancia puffed out his chest, “Damn straight he does, you can pay me back by giving me the nitty-gritty details tomorrow,” he finished with an obnoxious wink.

“Yeah, you’ll text us in the morning right??”

Josuke didn’t dignify either of them with a response, peeling them off of him before heading over to Koichi. Poor, sweet Koichi was sitting on a couch with an overly affectionate Yukako draped over his lap; he was looking uncomfortable, and she glared at Josuke as he approached. “I’m heading out with Okuyasu, I’ll catch ya later.”

Koichi looked mildly terrified, “Are you su—“

Yukako cut him off, cold as ice, “Good. Now leave us,” She waved him off. Josuke sneered, but the desperate look on Koichi’s face caused him to bite off his retort.

“Yo,” Okuyasu reappeared beside him, “Ready to go?”

Josuke ignored the smirk on Yukako’s face, “Yep, let’s roll.”

Thankful to be free from the party, Josuke followed Okuyasu outside to a midnight blue Dodge Challenger, “Nice.” Josuke clucked appreciatively.

“Thanks,” Okuyasu unlocked the car, with a grin reminiscent of a kid in a candy store, “First thing I bought when we started making that cash money.”

When Okuyasu turned his car on, Josuke was surprised his ear drums didn’t immediately burst from how loud his music was. “Jesus dude, you’ll get tinnitus if you ain’t careful.”

“Haha, oops? Sorry.” Okuyasu turned down the volume to a more acceptable level, ears red from embarrassment. Josuke thought it was so endearing. “You can have control over the music, as long as ya keep your comments about my music taste to yourself,” Okuyasu handed Josuke a beat up iPod, “Password is 6492.”

One of the more surprising things about Okuyasu was that he was an incredibly cautious driver. Despite driving a nice sports car, he refused to pull out of the driveway until he saw that Josuke was wearing his seatbelt, and insisted on doing the speed limit as they drove to Josuke’s house. Josuke scrolled through his music, pretending to be super interested in it, but stole glances when he could. Okuyasu drove with his right hand, resting his left elbow on the door and leaning against his hand. Oh god, he looked so cool and casual. Josuke knew he looked like a love-sick school girl, but he didn’t care.

Before he could get caught staring, he turned his attention to the iPod in earnest. Another surprising thing about Okuyasu was his very broad taste in tunes: some rap, r&b, pop, electronica, and a lot of rock bands Josuke didn’t recognize, even some classical music. A little bit of everything. “I dunno why you think I’d make fun of your taste in music, you got a lot of good shit on this.”

Okuyasu’s face broke out into a quietly pleased smile, “You can make a playlist if you want. Everyone who rides with me does.”

Josuke took a look at his playlists: a few were clearly named Keicho, Yukako, Yuuya, and Tonio, with one named Hazamada, whoever that was; there were some with names like ‘hot damn this is my jam’, ‘get buff motherfucker’, ‘chill out dumbass’, and ‘go the fuck to sleep’. It seemed like he had a playlist for everything, except getting laid. Or at least, there wasn’t anything obviously defined as a sex playlist. Not for long, Josuke thought to himself.

Firmly turning away from that thought process, Josuke started a new playlist he dubbed “Jojo’s Bizarre Mix”. He scrolled through the songs, adding as he went. When he saw his and Trish’s duet pop up, his curiosity got the better of him. He typed his name into the search bar, and let out a small, strangled noise when he discovered his entire discography.

“Woah dude, you okay?” Okuyasu took his eyes off the road to get a good look at him.

Josuke didn’t respond, only pressing play on one of his albums at random, staring right back at him. The expression on Okuyasu’s face went from confused to flustered when Josuke’s voice filtered through the speakers.

Okuyasu seemed deeply embarrassed, turning his attention back to the road, “Uhm. I can explain.”

A grin slowly spread across Josuke’s face, “You like my music?”

“Do I need to turn right or left up here?” Okuyasu asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Left, also you didn’t answer my question.”

They stopped at a traffic light, Okuyasu looking anywhere that wasn’t Josuke, “Yeah, I do.”

Josuke was pleased as punch, “Really?? I’m super touched—“

“Don’t make fun of me, dude,” Okuyasu sounded wounded.

“I’m not, I’m just surprised! But in a good way, I think that’s so cool that you like my shit.” Okuyasu gave him a pained look; Josuke reached over and squeezed his arm in a way he hoped came across as comforting, “I’m really not trying to sound like I’m mocking you. I think it’s great you like my stuff, because you’re awesome and have good taste.” When Okuyasu relaxed and continued on their way down the road, Josuke couldn’t help but ask, “So, how long you been a fan??”

A few beats of silence passed before Okuyasu sighed, defeated, “Since your first album—“

“You’re shitting me, for that long??”

Okuyasu pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yeah, that long. Keicho used to get pissed whenever your songs came on the radio because I wore those CDs out, so he had to hear it all the time.”

That explains why he looks at me like I killed his dog in front of him, Jouske sighed inwardly. “Why though?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like my music that much?”

Okuyasu looked offended, “That’s dumb ass question, Josuke. You need to leave the stupid questions to me, a professional idiot.”

Josuke pointed a finger at him, “Okay, first of all, you’re not an idiot so don’t say that about yourself, and secondly, that didn’t answer my question. Also, go straight and keep going until you hit the top of the hill, that’ll be my house.”

They reached Josuke’s gate; Okuyasu rolled up to a keypad, “What’s the code.”

“4206969”

Okuyasu threw his head back and started braying like a donkey, “What the fuck, dude?”

“I didn’t choose it!”

“Then who did?? That’s not some randomly generated number, that’s on purpose.”

Josuke sighed through his nose, “Koichi’s bitch boy, Tamami. He’s an assistant, and takes care of shit I need done on top of whatever he does for Koichi. When I had this installed, he oversaw everything and picked that code to fuck with me.”

Okuyasu was still wheezing when he punched in the code and drove up to the garage. Josuke rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, keep laughing you windy asshole.” Being called a windy asshole just made Okuyasu laugh even harder.

When they got inside, Okuyasu whistled, “This is the nicest house I’ve ever been in.” He was looking around like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Josuke was turning on lights as he walked towards the kitchen, “Thanks, you want anything to drink? I got—“ he waltzed into the kitchen and opened the fridge, “beer, pepsi, water, what I think is cherry kool-aid—“

“Pepsi’s good. Where’s your toilet dude, I gotta piss like you wouldn’t believe.”

“There’s one upstairs, second door on the right. Come outside when you’re done.” Okuyasu trudged upstairs while Josuke threw his keys, wallet, and cell phone on the counter, grabbed two pepsis, and headed outside.

Josuke’s backyard had a privacy fence around it, so no amazing view, but he did have a massive, lit pool with an in-ground hot tub. He pulled off his socks, rolled up his jeans, and sat down to dangle his legs over the edge of the pool.

“DUDE,” Okuyasu gasped as he walked outside, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A POOL.” He enthusiastically followed suit and sat beside Josuke with a huge grin on his face.

“Not like it ever came up. You got the stuff?”

“Yeah yeah.” Okuyasu fished a cigarette case and lighter out of his zip-up hoodie, “You should feel special, these are rolled by yours truly.” He cracked open the case and pulled a joint out; he passed over it and a lighter over, “You get green.”

“And they say chivalry is dead.” Josuke lit it, inhaled, and passed it. On the exhale, he coughed a little, “You never did answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Why you liked my music so much.”

Clearly, this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, but Okuyasu answered anyways, “I just like your voice. S’pretty.” He knocked a bit of ash off the end of the joint and handed it back, pink cheeked.

Josuke’s heart did a weird, fluttery thing, “You mean that?”

“Yeah dude, I wouldn’t lie about anything like that.” Okuyasu turned to look at him, face sincere.

It was Josuke’s turn to get red and flustered, “Thanks.” He took a drag, “If it makes you feel any less awkward, I’ve listened to all your albums.”

“Didn’t peg you as the type to like anything like Arrowhead.”

Josuke passed the joint back, “I’m not.”

”Then why listen to it?”

“Got curious after we met, ended up digging how you sing. You’re talented.”

Okuyasu took a puff and looked at him, dead serious, “I don’t believe that.”

Josuke shrugged, “You don’t gotta, I guess. It’s the truth though.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes while they finished smoking. After snubbing out the cinders, Okuyasu spoke, his voice soft, “Thanks dude, that means a lot to me.”

Josuke patted Okuyasu’s shoulder, and laid down on his back, “Don’t mention it.” He was feeling incredibly comfortable and hazy, “Is it just me, or do the stars look even prettier tonight?”

Once again, Okuyasu followed suit and laid on the ground beside him, “S’probably the weed.”

“Probably.”

They laid there in comfortable silence; the only thing breaking it was the water churning around Okuyasu’s legs as he kicked his feet.

Josuke closed his eyes, he was so relaxed. He could’ve fallen asleep if Okuyasu didn’t suddenly speak, “Do you live here by yourself?” His voice sounded raspier than normal, and it gave Josuke goosebumps.

“Yeah. My mom used to live with me, but after my grandpa had a heart attack a few years ago, she moved back home to look after him.”

“Shit, I’m sorry dude.”

Josuke waved his hand, “Don’t be. He’s fine now, he just refuses to move out here like a stubborn asshole.”

“Still though, that sucks,” Okuyasu turned his head to look at Josuke, “’specially you livin’ in this big ass house by yourself. It’s gotta be lonely.”

Josuke was never one to reveal deep, inner feelings, but he opened his mouth anyways, “It is, but I’m more or less used to it now.”

That seemed to really bother Okuyasu, “Well, now that we’re friends and I know where you live, I’ll come over and bug you all the time, so you won’t be lonely anymore.”

It took a lot of effort, but Josuke managed to swallow around the lump in his throat, “I’d like that.”

The rest of the conversation continued along the vein of revealing deep, personal shit.

Josuke learned that Okuyasu grew up dirt poor in Oakland. Lost his mom at the age of 10 (he lifted up his shirt and showed Josuke a tattoo of a ribcage covered in flowering vines on his right side, ‘this is for her’); had an asshole dad, got into a car wreck at the age of 15 that caused his scars when he went through the windshield, his dad suffered a stroke and had to be put into a nursing home, having lost his ability to speak, move, or take care of himself. Him and Keicho lived on the floor of Yuuya’s apartment until they started making enough money to get their own place.

“Oh yeah, and our old lead singer/guitarist tried to stab me when he learned that Tonio wanted me to replace him on the mic. Keicho pushed me out of the way, and got a knife in his side for his trouble.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. After he got all stitched up, he told me I owed him shots for life.”

Okuyasu lived by himself in an apartment that was bigger than the house he grew up in combined with the apartment he shared with Keicho, Yuuya, Akira the asshole that tried to stab him, Hazamada the roadie/merchandise guy/bitch boy, and a few rotating girlfriends of Keicho or Yuuya. He visited his dad often (‘Gave him this stray cat I found off the street to give ‘em some company when I ain’t there, it’s helped a lot’), ate at the same diner he used to work at, and still felt like being famous was some kind of fever dream he would eventually awaken from.

Josuke talked about how the three years had been incredibly lonely after his mom moved away, how fucking anxiety ridden he gets about his grandpa who helped raise him, and the fact that the only people who really knew him were on the other side of the country and Koichi.

“Weren’t you pretty friendly with those people at the party?”

“Trish and all them? Yeah, but we aren’t like super close. I’ve never talked to them about any of this.”

He also mentioned his father. “You ever heard of Joseph Joestar?”

“Ain’t that the real estate guy who’s got them really annoying commercials about his reality show?”

“Yep.”

“What about him?”

“He had a fling with my mom, and I’m the product of it. He didn’t know I existed until I was like, 12.”

Okuyasu rolled onto his side to look at him, “Damn dude, that’s rough.”

Josuke shrugged, “It sucks, and it’s awkward when I visit. I don’t even call him dad, because he’s never been much of a father. The rest of my family is really cool though and makes up for it. Like my sister? She’s really nice, and I have a nephew that’s like, 35 years old with a husband and kid. I also got a cousin that streams videogames and I try to catch them when I can.”

“It’s good they’re nice to you. What about his wife?”

“She passed away from cancer a few years ago. We got along, surprisingly enough. She never blamed me for what happened, since it wasn’t my fault. I sang at her funeral and everything.”

Josuke sat up, “Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever actually talked about this to anyone before.”

“Same here dude.”

When Okuyasu sat up, Josuke gave him a little punch in the shoulder, “Guess that makes us best bros.”

Okuyasu gave him a grin that was brighter than the stars, “Hell yeah we are.” He got up and padded over to the pile of his shoes, socks, and various other items, “What time is it?” Okuyasu clicked his phone’s screen on, light bouncing off of his glasses, “Damn! It’s like 3 o’clock in the morning. How fuckin’ long have we been out here??”

“At least four hours.” Josuke got up and stretched, “Do you wanna stay the night?” Josuke turned around to look at the house, not wanting to look Okuyasu in the face in case his offer was rejected, “It’s pretty late, we could watch a movie in my room until—”

His statement gets cut off when Okuyasu spears him into the pool.

When he emerges, he’s met with Okuyasu’s hysterical laughter, “I’m sorry,” he choked out, holding his gut, “I couldn’t help myself. I’m down to stay, but I’m gonna need a change of—REEEEE.”

Josuke flailed over to him and dunked Okuyasu underwater, “You absolute motherFUCKER.”

Okuyasu reemerged with a gasp, and started splashing Josuke in an attempt to get away. They wrestled around in the pool, insulting each other until they were out of breath. “Okay,” Josuke breathed, chest heaving from a mix of laughter and exertion, “I’m wore out. Let’s go watch a movie or something.”

Being a gracious host, Josuke let Okuyasu use his shower first while he set out an extra toothbrush, basketball shorts, and a tank top that was emblazoned with ‘I want ABSolutely all the pasta and breadsticks’ on the sink for him. Josuke turned on his PS4, scrolling through movies while he waited for his turn. He was debating between two terrible comedies when Okuyasu came out of the bathroom, tank top in hand.

“Dude, this tank top is amazing, who got this for you?”

Josuke couldn’t answer him, because he was too busy staring at his chest; Okuyasu was fucking jacked. It was taking all of his willpower to not reach out and try to touch his abs.

Okuyasu whistled, waving his hand in front of his face, “Hello, Earth to Josuke. You still on the planet?”

“Oh shit—Sorry, zoned out there for a minute. Uh, my personal trainer got me that for Christmas last year. He’s got a knack for finding wacky shit like that.”

“He’s got some good taste,” Okuyasu chuckled while pulling the tank top on.

Josuke got up to head to the shower to mask both his disappointment and boner, throwing the controller to Okuyasu, “Pick something out, I can’t decide.”

One quick, cold shower and vigorous toothbrushing later, Josuke crawled under the covers with Okuyasu, watching some awful movie.

“Hey, Josuke.”

“Mh?”

Okuyasu hesitated, “You’re not gonna care if I like, fall asleep in your bed right?”

“Nah dude, it’s cool. You can sleep in here with me.”

A small, shy smile spread across Okuyasu’s face, and every part of Josuke screamed KISS HIM, KISS HIM RIGHT NOW.

He didn’t. He was too much of a bitch boy. Instead, when Okuyasu fell asleep halfway through the movie, Josuke opted to watch him. When the movie ended, he put Oku’s lopsided glasses on the nightstand, turned off the tv, and settled down beside him.

Josuke didn’t expect to fall asleep so fast when the object of his affections was literally laying right beside him, but the sound of Okuysau snoring gently lulled him to sleep.

When Josuke woke up the next morning, he was pleased to find a snoozing Okuyasu beside him. Last night had been wonderful, and the first time he had fun in ages. He wondered if Koichi’s night went just as well—

Oh shit, Koichi! He forgot!

Josuke scrambled for his phone and shot off a text:

Josuke: making sure you ain’t dead. text me back when you get this

A few minutes later, he got a snap from Koichi.

The picture was of him shirtless, half of his face was deadpan while a mass of black hair covered the other half. The caption read, “I’m sore. She rides hard.”

Josuke hollered so loudly he woke Okuyasu up.

#josuke higashikata #okuyasu nijimura #josuyasu #josuke x okuyasu #jjba

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biscuits-on-the-floor · 6 years

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Three

In September my gorgeous Squiggles turned three. THREE!!! I thought I’d share a bit about the little human she has become.

(Potty training!)

She is a feisty one! Since she was around two we’ve been dealing with tantrums, which have become more extreme the older she has become. She can have tantrums over many things, but essentially it all boils down to her not wanting to be told what she has to do and her need to rebel against everything and anything. Even if it is something she actually likes! In the past I heard so many other mums talk about their small children, saying things like “3 going on 15”, which I now fully understand! We’ve had bouts of extreme anger, general door slamming stroppiness and a fierce need to exert her independence, which makes it often feels like we’re dealing with a teenager. Whilst her behaviour has been challenging (understatement) there is a part of me that feels happy that she is this stubborn, determined, feisty girl! It will serve her well not to be a pushover.

At the same time she is also the sweetest and kindest little creature. Her level of compassion for others astounds me when she is only three years old. If anyone is hurt or sad she displays genuine concern and is quick to stroke, cuddle and kiss and say, “It’s okay mummy/daddy/Roo, I right here” and she will stay by your side until it’s all better. She regularly says to Roo “Shhh, it’s alright. Calm down,” - trying to soothe him when he’s crying.

She has always been joyful and continues to be able to see joy all around her and find fun in the most unlikely places/situations. One of her many expressions is “It’s citing! (exciting)” which she will say about, what I consider to be, the most unexciting of things, e.g. having to go to the supermarket! And she often says “fun day” either before we embark on our ‘adventure’ or after, and often we will have had a very mundane day but she clearly has had the best time!

She is a creature of habit and has certain little routines that she likes to do each day. She likes to have the same bowl and cup for breakfast each morning and likes to be the one to get everybody’s breakfast bowls out of the cupboard. She also likes to tell everyone what they should have for breakfast, “Mummy, you have puddit. (porridge)”

Before she goes up to bed each night she has to ride her little bike from the kitchen table to the stairs. She ‘parks’ it in the hallway and then likes to go upstairs by herself whilst either me or Richie waits at that bottom, and then when she’s at the top we are allowed to go up!

She has many delaying getting into bed tactics which include wanting to take various toys from the living room upstairs (we end up carrying various tea pots/cups/toy food etc up each night). Then she likes to put Daisy and various other cuddly toys to bed, covering them up with a blanket. She takes FOREVER to choose her bedtime story, and even when she is finally in bed she tries to trick you into singing a variety of songs (even though she knows she’s only allowed one.)

Her new favourite thing is wanting to play hide and seek, which, bless her, she plays with great enthusiasm, even though there are not many places to hide in her bedroom! She likes to tell you where she’s going to hide before she hides! Also, when she’s at the kitchen table and one of us comes downstairs she hides behind her hands and you have to pretend you can’t see her!

We bought her a scooter for her birthday (she had been wanting one since she was 18 months!!) and she loves to scoot everywhere now. (“We need to go pickly (quickly), Mummy” she says as she bazzes along!) Which in one respect makes life easier, it’s much quicker than when she walked (incredibly slowly), but on the other hand is a pain when she’s not scooting because then I’m dealing with baby, pram, scooter, helmet, travel potty, nappy bag, change-of-clothes-in-case-of-accident bag, snack bag, and unruly toddler!

She’s going through a love and friendship phase and is always exclaiming that we are “all best friends forever ever ever!” “You my best friend, Mummy, and Roo, and Daddy.” Also some random kid at nursery who I’ve never met is her ‘best friend’ at the moment. My favourite is when she tells me she loves me, even though she sometimes specifies the amount, “I love you a tiny liccle bit”. Though the ‘tiny liccle bit’ is a phrase she uses for almost everything: “a tiny liccle naughty,” “a tiny liccle funny.”

Her number one phrase at the moment though is “All day long ….” “All day long I tell you I need juice.” “All day long I not want to sleep.” etc.

Since Roo was born I feel like she has suddenly grown up into a little girl rather than a toddler. Her language skills seem to have tripled in the last 7 months and she is so much more independent now. So much so that I’m glad I have another baby because I feel so sad that she is no longer a baby. She says “I a big girl now, I growed up (like Mummy), but I still your baby” (I obviously must say this a lot to her!) She likes to say what a big girl she is all the time and her new status as a big sister is one that she is very proud of. (She is such a lovely big sister - she always gets toys for Roo to play with and she comforts him when he cries.) Since Roo was born she has become quite fixated with what are baby things and what are big girl things. We had the following conversation last week:

“Let’s get you all snuggly buggly,” said whilst buttoning up her coat.

“No not snuggly buggly, I not a baby.”

“Oh, okay. Mummy just wants to make sure you’re warm before we go out.”

“Yes but not snuggly buggy cause I not a baby”!!

She is a huge chatterbox and I love watching her facial expressions and body language. She gets a very funny ‘serious’ look on her face when she thinks she’s telling me something extremely important! I also love it when she declares something is a “goodea” (good idea) as though her declaring that will make it an absolute certainty! For a long time one of her most asked questions was, “What’s that called?” and the constant use of this helped her to learn a lot of new words! This has been replaced with “Cause why?” asked on average about 50 times per day. Isn’t it a fun phase?!

Dancing still remains to be her all-time favourite thing to do. We are often instructed to watch her dance or all dance in the kitchen with her to the radio or Roo’s musical chair. She’s got some good moves! She loves to dance to the song from Sleeping Beauty, ‘I Know You,’ holding hands and gliding around the room. A couple of weeks ago she was dancing in front of the mirror in the bedroom and singing at the top of her lungs. I told her that whilse I was very much enjoying her singing and dancing could she perhaps do it a little less loudly to which she replied, “But I neeeeeeeed to dance,” and carried on!

When she turned three, the Disney princess obsession was flicked on like a switch. She had always loved Cinderella because we have watched this from when she was young. But suddenly her love of Cinderella turned into an obsession with all princesses and now she loves to dress up in her princess dresses and regularly requests hair in plaits like ‘Let It Go’ (Frozen) or a bun like ‘Cinderella party hair’! When she was younger, on one rare occasion when I was actually wearing lipstick, she asked what I was wearing on my lips and I told her I had colour on it. At that time she associated the word colour with ‘Colours of the Wind,’ the song from Pocahontas, and so she asked ‘colours of the wind?’ to which I replied yes, not knowing that it would stick! Now she thinks lipstick is called ‘colours of the wind’ and I know I should correct her but it’s too cute! “Mummy, Cinderella’s got colours of the wind.” The princess obsession invades all aspects of her life including bath time where she will swim like The Little Mermaid to the song, “Swim little mermaid swim swim swim” (to the tune of Sleeping Bunnies). And time in the car is usually spent listening to the Disney films compilation album, to which we are all ordered to sing along!

I was in the kitchen one day when I heard her chanting “Roosing’s a princess, Roosing’s a princess,” so I went to investigate and discovered this ….

Poor Roo. You can see a childhood of being bossed around and made to dress up by his big sister has begun already at the tender age of 7 months!

She is ‘a character’ as they say, and drives me crazy most days! But she is perfect to me and I could not possibly love her more. The other day when Richie got home from work she beamed with pride as she told him “Mummy’s really proud of me cause I did good waiting”. I am proud of her for many things; good waiting is just one of them!

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