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just-some-sorta-person · 6 months

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Nagi's "Hidden Path"/ Loophole

*featuring Isagi, Bachira, and Rin analysis*

I've been thinking a lot about how Nagi represents a "hidden path" in Bluelock, and the ways in which it seems the main manga and episode Nagi disagree on whether he should succeed- the key issue being his relationship with Reo. He plays soccer for their collective dream in a manga where depending on another character for your motivation is treated as soccer suicide, which should doom him, but his own manga starts with the statement that his genius is shaped by Reo - framed as a good thing.

I've said in the past that maybe Nagi will succeed by Episode Nagi's standards, but fail by Blue Lock standards, and I still think that would be an interesting path to take, but rn I wanna discuss the alternative that Nagi succeeds by both standards, even if to a lesser extent in the main manga since Isagi is the MC. And we're assuming here that his relationship with Reo isn't permanently severed in a way that makes him more similar to every other Bllk character bc that would make him much less interesting and also remove the "hidden path" aspect that we're expecting here.

So for him to succeed by both standards, I think what essentially needs to happen is that Nagi represents a loophole or caveat in Blue Lock's philosophy. And to understand why that would be the case, we'd have to understand WHY playing for anyone but yourself is a bad thing in Blue Lock. And there are plenty of examples to draw from.

Isagi and "All for One"

We can start with the "One for all, all for one" team Isagi was in- the most extremely dependent soccer we see. I'll be drawing from Isagi's Light Novel for this, because it really just spells it out. First, let's look at the reasoning for that "all for one" given in response to Isagi's request to shoot more:

“Up until now, You could have won matches with your individual skills, but high school isn’t a piece of cake... We win together, and become stronger together! If you do that, then you'll have double the joy! And half the sorrow!”

The reasoning given here isn't that the resulting soccer is better at winning games - rather there is an emphasis on safety. "the world is tough", "If we stick together, there's half the sorrow". And within that emphasis, is the implication that the individual isn't enough.

We can also see complacency in this ideaology. When Ichinan loses, the coach says

“You fought well. It’s frustrating, but this is what Ichinan is capable of now. The third years are leaving after this… and some of you might quit soccer after today but you can be proud of the days you fought together as a team." "To me, Ichinan’s soccer team…is the best team in Japan!!!”

Within this dream doping that Ego rants about later on, we can again see the acceptance on the individual not being enough - "You fought well... but this is what Ichinan is capable of now." We also see within the dream doping the injection of safety and lack of perceived agency. Because we are one unit, there is no blame, no frustration, no need for improvement. The point is the team, not to win, so be proud.

Most damning is the way we see this reflected in Isagi

There’s no need to take a risky battle. If they lose, it will be his fault and he will feel bad for the team. He makes an exquisite pass to Tada's feet. A perfect last pass.

What's emphasized here is the risk in making an egotistical decision for the whole team in believing himself good enough to make that shot himself. What essentially happens here is a devaluing of the self - " I'm not good enough on my own, its safer to trust others, trust the system, not your instincts" And that forces Isagi to not live up to his fullest potential, to chase what he wants. Until Blue Lock that is.

Bachira and the Monster

Bachira is probably the character most directly "punished" in the narrative for playing for someone else. Though I feel like punish is the wrong word because this problem with his ego reared its head and was resolved in the same game - once he realized the problem, Bachira resolved to solve it

According to Bachira's explanation

"...Until now, I was afraid of playing soccer by myself. I guess I wanted you to come save me. But, once I tried fighting on my own, like I'd done as a kid, I realized...

And so the problem with his habit of looking for another player when playing instead of focusing on himself was again the perceived lack of agency, and devaluing of the self. Longing for someone to play soccer with led to a dependency that negatively impacted his decisions on the field

So that's why his moment of growth was breaking through all on his own to steak back Isagi and win - ignoring the idea that he should wait for someone else to help him. He needed to believe in his own agency/value to prove himself on the field and achieve his goals.

Rin and Sae

I recently took a look at Rin's Light Novel and there was a line that stood out as kinda similar to Bachira's old habit of passing to an imaginary monster before coming to Blue Lock

he understood why things were not going well. Neither their coach nor his other teammates have the slightest idea of Rin’s image of play in his head. (If it was Nii-chan, he would have made a pass here……) he thought so many times during today's practice. He jumped out in front of the goal to a position where I said, “Here!” but his teammates were like, “Huh?” “There?”

So whether you're passing or shooting, a reliance can develop, huh...

(How do Bachirin shippers feel about this parallel? haha. And what does this say about what Rin says to Bachira "But afraid of fighting alone. It is a soccer looking for someone. That luke-warm ego won't make my heart dance". Cus it seems Rin is criticizing Bachira for doing the same thing he did. What does this mean about how Rin feels about himself? (I mean.. he did already call himself lukewarm later but was he thinking about himself in that moment?))

In the light novel, I think it becomes clear one reason why Sae is so against Rin using him as his reason for soccer - it definitely affects how Rin plays when Sae is away. And since Sae becomes aware of the competition outside Japan during his time abroad, he knows that Rin's mentality as it was wouldn't be enough and thus wanted to spare him the suffering and have him give up. And this is in combination with the idea of "I've found out, that I'm not strong enough to hold you up. If you rely on me you'll fail" At least, this is my interpretation of it - but moving on-

With Rin’s last pass, they score a shot. If his Nii-chan had been there, he would have passed the ball to him in front of the goal and he would have scored it directly….. He stopped thinking. No pass is coming. That is now the reality. Anyway, the team won for the first time in a long time.

We see a lack of agency and a reliance on others once again - "If only Nii-chan was here". Like with Bachira, Rin is waiting for someone to "save" him, which limits what he chooses to attempt and stifles his potential because of how it limits his perceived agency.

We can also see this limitation in how he wants to be 2nd best after Sae - not best (de-valuing). It causes Rin to seal off his ego in order to catch up to Sae, by being more similar to Sae instead of developing according to his own unique talents/ego.

In order to catch up with his Nii-chan he saw off at the airport, he has to make the team’s victory his top priority. To do so, he must hold himself back. Hold back the you who was trying to steal the goal with everything you have using that sense of smell for the goal and assemble an attack as a team play.

Even after Sae's return he's always on Rin's mind, and this still limits his soccer. It's only after Rin declares himself lukewarm and rejects the stories others create through their relationship with him that he is able to go all out by embracing his own personal style, rather than focusing on others.

Back on Topic!

So in summary, what is wrong with depending on others? What causes Blue Lock to default to individualism? Ultimately it seems like its the resulting lack of perceived agency - the idea that you can't do things without other people present. By constraining yourself into a narrative with other people, you limit what you can do, and you limit what you think you can do by molding yourself to their vision. Thus, your potential is stifled.

How can Nagi and Reo become an exception to this reasoning? Well, maybe Nagi's decision to leave Reo during 2nd selection is part of the key.

We know from Episode Nagi and Manshine that Nagi wants to improve for the sake of his and Reo's collective dream. And he (correctly) identifies following soccer that challenges/excites him as the proper way to improve.

Here, Reo identifies them playing together as a must, but Nagi corrects him and saying that them being the best in the world together is a must, saying (in his head T-T) that he likes being with him, but that in order to protect their dream, Nagi needs to change.

It's actually pretty much spelled out here. Nagi says he's fine with Reo playing with other people, but insists that Reo stay with him till the end. Its ok to play soccer with others, but keep me in your heart always. In other words, I don't mind not playing together, but you and our end goal is always in my heart.

This is different from Isagi, Bachira, or Rin's situation because in those cases, the team/monster/Sae were considered as key to success. However, in Nagi's case, success is key to Reo. It's completely reversed. It's that nuance of "I play soccer to play soccer with you, to win with you" vs. "I play soccer for you, I win for you". Because "playing together" is not a requirement for winning, it no longer acts as a constraint that restricts agency. Nagi's concept of being together separate from playing soccer together saves their partnership from being the same as the others and frees him to (for example) join Isagi to improve.

You can see more of this in epinagi

The Tag Game

You might say this is a bad example because Nagi relies on Reo to get him un-eliminated, but by Nagi's "I figured you'd do that, Reo..." we can guess that this was more from laziness than a belief that he needed Reo's help. Indeed, when Reo's in danger of being eliminated himself, when their dream is in any real danger, Nagi takes it upon himself to solve the issue

They didn't solve the problem relying on teamwork/partnership or anything. Nagi solved the problem because they're partners.

Playing Against Barou

The next time their dream is "Challenged" is when Barou says "Becoming the world's best striker means you'll be alone until you die", essentially a challenge to the viability of Nagi and Reo's dream. Nagi's response to that is to run off and instigate a 1v1 with Barou

So again, rather than deny Nagi options, his partnership with Reo provided the motivation to act out on his own.

Playing against Team Z

Even when they play against team Z, we see this in action. Nagi plays a more reliant soccer, his dream/Reo is challenged when he sees Reo's face, and Nagi decides to act out on his own.

Nagi will rely on Reo for the sake of laziness, but when it comes to their dream, there's this pattern of deciding to rely less on Reo, take destiny into his own hands, and make an effort. It's really that nuance of doing something to be with someone vs. doing something for someone.

Beyond 1st/2nd Selection

Brief mention here of Nagi's eyes shining when Reo says "But it's not enough" when Nagi praises him. I think this might be Nagi thinking its a sign that Reo in fact has not forgotten their promise and is also working to achieve it - consistent with the idea of being together without necessarily playing together (Whereas Reo is thinking the other way round - improving for the sake of playing together because that's the only way to be together)

So, where this theory hits its roadblock is the Manshine City Arc, where Nagi asks for Reo's help. But because of all the ominous foreshadowing afterwards, in addition to Ego's words that Nagi's deep ego (implied by timing of skull imagery +all the scenes I just listed to be Reo/dream-centric) is about to be tested, I think their dynamic is bound to change in some direction within the next game. So, their relationship is still in development and the theory isn't necessarily debunked.

**edited in addition** I think the key is that regardless of their behavior, the core of their partnership (ie their internal feelings) isn't dependency, but rather reciprocated faith and commitment, though especially with Nagi's communication and introspection issues, it may take some time for them to figure that out because Reo has no idea the faith that Nagi has in him. Reo actually assumes that their partnership can't exist without dependence - assumes its over when that dependence fades because Nagi will have no reason to stay with him, but this is him insecurely misinterpreting Nagi's intentions. They also can't really flourish until Nagi figures out his ego/motivation, though that's luckily foreshadowed to be addressed. I think with how Reo misinterprets Nagi's motivations on a shallow level in 207, and how Nagi's motivation is foreshadowed to be addressed soon, we will get nagireo communication soon timeline wise (not real life lol). And hopefully with that communication, Reo's insecurity + Nagi's motivation can be addressed and they can begin to figure out a functional partnership within Blue Lock. But really the key here is that faith and devotion don't necessitate playing with only each other in mind, while dependence/reliance does.

In terms of what will happen, I think we might finally get a confirmation of what Nagi's ego is - it certainly fits with their conversation in 207, where Reo tries to give a substitute that doesn't really fit. I'm not sure what would happen once Nagi and Reo have the clarity of understanding what Nagi's ego is though...

In Any Case!

I'm running out of fuel but just to let ya'll know I was thinking really hard about what the difference was between Nagi and Reo's dynamic in comparison to partnerships or teamwork criticized by the main manga and I did not expect the difference I came up with to be the difference between reliance and devotion. "I am not enough by myself" vs. "I will make myself enough for you". I still wonder if I'm just biased?

Plz lmk ur thoughts

link to a continuation of these thoughts - Hiori's Words, Reo's Insecurity, Nagi's Enforced Indifference

#reo mikage #nagi seishiro #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #rin itoshi #bllk meta #blue lock meta #nagireo #reonagi #bllk #blue lock #Nagi's utter devotion lives rent free in my head #episode nagi

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izukuwus · 10 months

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(they all have) so much meaning - Midoriya Izuku/Reader (18+)

Next (coming soon?) - M.list - Ao3

A/N: ok so despite the spiderweb thing I actually did most of the writing for this BEFORE I watched across the spiderverse and veered clear into my government-mandated spider-man phase. I kind of want the tattoo, though.

(why yes, I DO default to The Front Bottoms lyrics every time I can't think of a good title for a fic. it's bc I'm right.)

Summary: It's your third date with your long-standing no-longer-crush, and Izuku just found out that you had a tattoo. You let him take a long look.

Warnings: public sex, oral (reader receiving), afab reader, reader has a tattoo, exhibitionism

Notes: Reader has a tattoo and established quirk. Yes, they're a literal emotional vampire. I can only write so much without vampires getting involved.

Word Count: 3600+

Midoriya Izuku is a pretty boy with sharp teeth and a brilliant mind. He does not possess the mind for what one would call a normal conversation, really, but you knew that long before agreeing to the first date, let alone the second.

By the end of date three, you’re honestly proud of him. I mean, neither of you got through the date without stuttering, which is fucking ridiculous given how long you’ve known each other, but compared to the first date’s rocky start, you both did a fantastic job! You completed the date with minimal stuttering between the two of you, and thanks to your quirk, you’re confident in saying both of you feel a fond sadness as he drives you home. You could have taken the train—planned on it, actually—but he’d insisted, and who were you to not say yes, if only to bask in his presence a little longer?

“I didn’t know you had a car,” you confess. You’re sitting on your hands, self-conscious for a myriad of reasons, least of all because having sat on your hands has left you hyperaware of how much thigh is visible in this skirt. “Is it new?”

Stupid question. It’s obviously new, and nice, too. Admittedly, you don’t know shit about cars, but you do know enough to be able to tell when one is nice. It’s shiny, for one, with a sleek, vintage look and classic black paint, and you don’t have to be a genius to know that any car with a convertible top is probably not super cheap. The seats, too, are luxurious—a dark, soft leather that caresses your legs quite nicely.

The trouble with leather is, again, directly correlated with how much thigh is exposed by this skirt. Being July, the world is hot and sticky, which means miniskirts, which means issues around gross men, windy days, and leather fucking car seats.

“It is, actually!” He lets out a nervous laugh. It’s strange to see him driving, strange to see scarred hands confidently turning the wheel. Izuku had asked if you wanted the top down, since it was a hot day, and nice out, and—

You had agreed with a nervous bubble of laughter. The novelty of it was a good draw. You’d heard “top down” from pretty lips and agreed without a second thought.

The thing about Midoriya Izuku is that, for all the years you’ve been friends—since entering high school, really—you have danced around one another like this.

Nervous laughter, words flowing so easily that they slip right past your filter or otherwise don’t make it to your lips. Honestly, you don’t need him to tell you that he didn’t mean to ask you on the first date when he did—he had the same affliction, where things were said too easily and then followed by the cringe. Hindsight is always 20/20, which meant that the moment he'd asked to take you out to a movie and let the word "date" slip, he was immediately running damage control, and you'd let "I'd like a date, actually" slip before you really realized the ramifications of it. So you had gone home to panic and squeal, and he had gone home to panic and squeal, and now here you were, three dates down with the rising star of the hero world, a title you did not begrudge him.

“Since when did you need a car with that quirk?” you tease. Right now, it’s easy. The nerves of being with someone who wants you instead of just likes you don’t strangle your throat.

“Well, I could have just carried you home, but I think that might draw too much attention?” The thoughtful look in his eye slides away to something else as he casts a glance your way, maybe a bit lower, and his face burns red before you. “Not to mention, um, it might not be advisable, um…”

You got the message. You shift a little in your seat in hopes that it’ll give the fabric cause to slide down a little bit. “Y-yeah, uh, maybe not. I’ll have to wear shorts underneath next time!”

Another glance at your thigh before the light turns green. You try not to think about the little surge in his emotions pressing insistently at you. His cheeks seem impossibly redder, and he turns his eyes to the road, ever dedicated to safe driving practices. “I-if you want! You looked really nice tonight, though! I mean it!”

It’s mildly amusing, watching him flounder like this. If you had less shame, you might revel in seeing his face go full strawberry just to pay you a compliment, especially after having fought a few villains alongside him and having seen that version of Izuku in action. He’s borderline unrecognizable like this, making still-nervous conversation and trying not to stare at your legs as he drives you home.

The fluttery, nervous energy between you is, if nothing else, good fuel for your quirk, and you catch it in the air and stock it away until the pair of you reach your destination.

“Thanks again.” You flash him your best smile as he parks, and you’re unsurprised to see him move to open your car door. Such a gentleman. “For driving me home, I mean. I would have made it home fine, but…”

“It’s not a problem at all! I wanted to.” He opens your door, offers you a hand, and once again, you regret the skirt.

In your defense, the skirt had passed the date check. It covers your ass, covers your tattoo when standing, and was cute enough to justify wearing out of the house!

It does not, however, pass the car check, which is what you discover as a movement to unstick your thighs from the seat also has the hem riding up far enough to show off your tattoo. You know, the one you didn’t tell anyone you got. The one whose location you picked because (and I quote) “if anyone I’m not actively sleeping with sees it, we have bigger problems than their opinions on my tattoo”. That tattoo. That someone you are not actively sleeping with (not yet, anyway) just got an eyeful of. Most of, at least.

He’s practically babbling, avoiding eye contact as he apologizes and helps you out of the car. “I-I didn’t know you got a tattoo.”

“Oh, uh, yeah! I did! I lost a bet with Mina and had to get something done, so I thought I’d go for something cute.” You nearly babble the words, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Cute” is not the word you had used to describe the design when you’d come up with it, and the bet you lost was really just a pretense so you had an excuse to get the tattoo anyway, but, you know. It’s the little things as far as word choice is concerned.

You rub the back of your neck. “It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, actually. And the artist did a great job with it!”

“I didn’t get to see it really well, but I’m sure they did a really good job!”

“I mean, I could show you,” you reply, and there it is. Once again, your words beat your brain to the punch.

“I’d like to, if you’re comfortable with it!”

And there’s his burst of nervous energy, which, to be fair, hasn’t gone down a bit since you met at the restaurant earlier this evening, only climbed. You’ve learned that when you feel that particular spike of energy arc off him, it’s him doing the exact “say things you mean but don’t mean to say” thing you do. Small comforts, you suppose.

“Sure,” you manage, and then you’re lifting the hem of your skirt to show him the tattoo in all its glory.

Its design is that of a garter wrapping around your thigh, delicate lace forming spider webs in the “band” of the tattoo. It’s pretty, it’s possibly a bite too sexy, and it’s perhaps a bit too far up your thigh to be showing off in any way anyone would consider modest. In the dark of your poorly-lit driveway, Izuku seems to find himself crouching and leaning in to be able to properly inspect your inked thigh, and you feel a little surge of something wave off of him.

It’s not until you let that particular energy feed you and compare it to your own feelings that you realize he’s turned on. Part of it might be the position—the fire racing through your veins at lifting your skirt up partway for a pretty face crouching in front of you is likely matched by being the pretty face crouching before your date’s lifted skirt. Just as quick as it came, it’s replaced by a hot flush of shame, an emotion you know well.

That one, you don’t need to guess the source of. Izuku’s spent countless hours talking to you about the intricacies of your quirk over the years, and by now he’s more than aware that you feel every little surge of emotional energy around you, having given his permission to you to feed off of whatever he puts out.

When he lingers staring just a bit too long, you slowly lower your skirt and manage a nervous laugh. “So what do you think?”

“It’s a really well-done tattoo! I like the design, it’s very, uh—hot. I mean! Pretty! It’s pretty! I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, that was completely inappropriate and you probably don’t think of me that way and I swear I’m not the kind of guy who—“

“Izuku.” This time, there’s no nerves in your laughter. “Did you think I was platonically lifting my skirt for you?”

He freezes. You draw a blank from the air between you, and he stares, flush-faced and wide-eyed, at you. “Lift it all the way, then,” he breathes, and then comes the panic. “Oh my god. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’msosorry—“

You wish you could say that you had some cool, flirtatious response ready to go, some smooth line that would get you branded pick up artist extraordinaire, but you’re rendered entirely speechless. The thought that perhaps this is moving faster than normal relationships might flits past your brain as you grasp the sides of your skirt in two fists and lift it the rest of the way.

His frantic apologies die in his throat. For a moment, you think he dies, too—even his emotional signature is completely blank. He rests, half-crouched, green eyes cataloging the sight like he’s studying for a test. He sucks in an audible breath as he processes it and the heat of arousal floods back from him. You like to think it’s because of one detail you didn’t really expect to come up tonight:

Your tattoo matches your panties.

Izuku is surging attraction towards you in waves intense enough that you’re sure someone else must be able to feel them. There’s no one here to notice, though.

It is an eternity of him staring at your bare thighs, inked lace and real lace maybe two inches from touching, and then he is bringing calloused fingers up to hover just above the ink in your skin. “M-may I, uh—“

You try not to flinch when those same calloused fingers rest on plush flesh. He traces the lines of the tattoo almost reverently, eyes following his fingertips, occasionally flicking upwards just a bit, and you keep your eyes locked on his expression the entire time.

So focused on watching his face, you miss his fingers trailing inwards. You don’t miss them when they brush at the place your thighs kiss. Another little flinch, but this time he retreats to gauge your expression. “Is this okay?” he’s asking you. Your mind is tethered to the spot where his fingers rest on too-hot skin. “I-I don’t want to push too hard or assume anything, and—“

Your words are failing you, but you give a frantic nod. You’re not convinced you’ve ever been this turned on in your life, you’ve lost track of the feel of his emotions pressing against yours, and the only words coming to your mind at this point are: New kink. Score.

You think he thanks you as his fingers slide across your skin, but you can’t be too sure, because his fingers have left the tattoo to climb in agonizing slow motion up your thigh. They brush, rough and so, so gentle against the lace of your panties, and this time, you flinch properly, fabric slipping from your fingers to rest on his wrist.

The look Izuku gives you is uncharacteristic and nearly stern. “I want to see,” he says, gentle and sweet, as though he’s pleading with you to show him some innocent photo rather than to keep your skirt held up for his viewing pleasure.

Automatically, you’re lifting your skirt again, and he nods in appreciation. “If at any point you want me to stop, or slow down, or… any of that, tell me?”

“Mhm. I promise.”

“Good,” he says, and it’s so dangerously close to what you really want to hear that you have to suppress a shudder.

Again his fingers brush the lace covering your sex, and this time, you don’t drop the skirt. You hold it tight, even as Izuku’s fingers press into the space between your thighs, and you find yourself leaning back against his car for support. When his other hand rests on your opposite knee and pushes outwards just a touch, you let your legs part in turn.

You have the sense he hasn’t done this much. You know he hasn’t, actually—you have on good authority that he has precious little experience in the romance department, and, having been more or less in love with him for several years now, you aren’t faring much better. Maybe that’s why it’s so electric when he presses an experimental line on the outside of your panties. Maybe that’s why the shame burns so hot when his fingertip comes away damp.

His voice comes out a whisper. He’s staring up at your face in awe. “Are you…”

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut tight. “This is, like… insanely hot. You’re insanely hot.”

“Good,” he breathes, and then he’s slipping his hand past the band of your panties and touching you directly.

You jump a little at the contact, biting your lip to keep from gasping out. One experimental finger dips into you, and you take it readily.

That same finger leaves you quickly, and then you feel him tentatively tugging down your panties. When you peek at him, you find big, green eyes silently asking your permission.

“Please,” you whisper.

The panties are dragged down to your ankles, and then he’s returning to you in full force, sliding a single finger in and out of your hole, curling it inside you as though he’s figuring out how you react to each motion. Before long, he’s adding a second finger, moving so slow it’s torture more than pleasure.

He’s experimenting. Learning.

Your stomach flutters at the thought—he was always a fast learner. Too late, you realize that, oh shit, he just felt that, and now he’s staring up at you with wide eyes and red-stained cheeks.

“More,” you plead. “Please, ‘Zuku.”

The name slips from your lips so easily you almost forget you’ve pushed to a new level with him. He doesn’t seem to mind, though, except that he stops and retreats again, to your whiny distress.

“Can you spread them for me?”

“My legs?”

He shakes his head. “I want to see everything.”

Oh.

You shift so you’re holding your skirt in the center, and then a hand slides down to spread your lips for his viewing pleasure. He hums in contentment, and you’re aware of a subtle shifting of his position, though you’re not sure why.

“Trust me?”

“Always.”

That’s the only trigger he needs—he doesn’t return to fingering you, but those hands, large and scarred and rough against your skin, wrap around behind you as he replaces fingers with his mouth.

First a tentative taste, then a starved lick like a man starved, and oh, he’s always been good with his mouth, hasn’t he? Rambling, mumbling, brilliant thoughts have nothing on the feeling of his tongue as it finally plunges into you, the starved way he eats you out.

He’s still experimenting with you, still playing with you, but the curiosity of it all steadily falls away as he lets his instincts take the lead. When he at last brushes your clit and you gasp and your knees buckle, he takes note. He holds you up with ease, eyes half-lidded as though he’s torn between losing himself in the act and watching your reactions as he goes.

Two arms holding you up turns to one effortless arm around your waist. You have no time to consider where the other’s gone—he’s plunging those thick, rough fingers into you all over again, sucking on your clit, and suddenly you’re immensely grateful for the arm around your waist, because there’s no chance in hell you’re standing on your own like this.

His motions approach frantic. He is moaning quietly into your pussy, losing himself in it, and you’re grasping desperately for anything to find purchase on and finding only the smooth body of the car.

It doesn’t take you long. Before either of you realize it, you’re quivering, legs going fully weak, biting down on your free hand to keep from moaning out as you cum on his tongue.

He does not stop. He pulls away, just a moment, and you’re aware that you’re moving, but your head’s gone fuzzy from the everything of it all, so it takes you extra time to realize that he’s laid you across the back seat and climbed on top of you, lips pressed against your own. He keeps breaking away to mumble apologies against your lips—I’m sorry, I wanted our first kiss to be romantic, I wanted all of this to be romantic but I’m—and you find the cognizance within yourself to swallow those apologies with another kiss. You taste salty on his lips.

He is melting into the kiss, pulling away somewhat less frantic than he had been, eyes studying your face.

You quirk a smile his way. “Is it too forward to tell you I think you’re hot?”

He huffs a little breath of laughter against your lips. “Only if it’s too forward for me to say the same.”

You giggle, wind your arms around his neck. “Not too forward, I’d say.”

His hand trails up your side, fingers toying with the edge of your shirt. You’re glad, also, for the choice to wear a button-down over a tank top. The decision had been risky, and it’s not like you picked this outfit for access, but you’re appreciating that access now. He’s not even seen you naked yet, but he’s looking over you beneath him reverently, trailing fingertips up and down your clothed side.

“I can’t believe how gorgeous you are,” he confesses in a murmur. And then: “I always thought you’d look pretty underneath me. You always looked pretty, of course! I just mean… wow.”

“I haven’t even taken my clothes off for you yet.”

“If you seriously think you need to take your clothes off for me to think you’re the hottest thing alive, I don’t even know what to tell you.”

“Oh come on. You’re exaggerating.”

He grinds his hips down into you, and oh fuck. Maybe he’s not. “Does that feel like exaggerating to you?”

It was barely a moment, but that little press of his hips to yours was enough to be sure of one thing: he’s big. Between the muscles and the package between his legs, you are well set to be split in half.

You welcome the opportunity.

“Mm, I’m not sure. Better do that again so I can check.”

Another drag of his lips against yours. Another roll of his hips against yours. This he grants you eagerly, groaning into your mouth.

Something presses at you that’s not him and his devastatingly horny state.

You intake a breath, pull away, press a hand to his mouth. He gets the message, easily—someone is nearby. A neighbor, stepped outside for a moment. He takes the hint, presses his whole body against yours in an attempt to conceal himself from view.

When the presence leaves, and you’re sure you have the advantage of privacy again, you give him a little nod and peel your hand from his mouth.

A small smile, a small laugh. “I think we might have finally cleared the air between us.”

He tilts his head down at you with just a touch of mischief in his eyes. “I thought we were doing good.”

“We were! We were also an entire trainwreck.”

His cheeks tinge pink. “I-I was doing my best!”

“I know. We both were.” You ghost a kiss onto his nose. “We should head inside, though.”

“Inside?” he squeaks, as though it’s something scandalous.

“You do realize you just ate me out in the middle of the parking lot, right? I think you’re maybe at the point where I can invite you into my apartment.”

“Right. Yeah. Right.”

“You’ve been in my apartment before. You helped me move in!”

He whines, buries his face in your neck. “That was different!”

“Oh, poor ‘Zuku. But you know, if you come inside, I could return the favor…”

You’re not really sure what configuration of anything makes it happen, but one moment, you’re sprawled underneath him in the backseat of his car, the next, he has you in his arms bridal-style, as though you weigh nothing at all.

He takes the staircase one flight at a time. You don’t go back on your word.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @stxrrielle @snowymaltese @graywrites20

OKAY we are revamping the taglist. I've wiped it of all except recent requests just to quickly weed out inactive blogs.

If you'd like to be tagged, let me know by either replying, reblogging, or sending an ask letting me know what you'd like to be tagged in! (Eg. updates to this fic, all izuku fics, only nsfw fics, only sfw fics, all bnha fics, etc.) If at any point you'd like to be taken off the taglist, no hard feelings, just let me know!

#my fics #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader

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indieyuugure · 4 months

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Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

Sure, why not!

1-I’m by far the most proud of Rise of the Parallel. I’ve never made a complete comic like that before, and while there are several single drawings that I’m really proud of, I think ROTP takes the cake!

2-I don’t read a ton of fanfic(I feel like I barely have the time) but the ones I did read this year that really were so under appreciated were probably Zapped, which is a 2012 human-tmnt fic on Fanfiction.net by CelandineGranger; Black and Red/TMNT Dimension M, which is a future AU on tumblr by @zibanitu6969; Brainworm AU, which is a 2012 tmnt AU on tumblr by @cupcakeslushie

3-My favorite pieces others have made this year were probably, Duct Tape AU by @somerandomdudelmao, they dropped the idea, but it’s still absolutely fantastic and I actually really love it; basically all things made by @ezgurple because I would literally die for their art and comics, here’s one for example

Some others that I fell like didn’t fit into either category but are still super good are @truths33k3r4 AU fic, @gomengo50 AU art, and @linkeduniverse comics(Legend of Zelda, not TMNT)

And I think that’s my entire tumblr feed this past year 🙃

Good questions! :]

(Sorry if some of you didn’t wanna be mentioned)

#tmnt #q&a #fanfiction #fan art #fan comic #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #I’m not tagging all of these AUs #The tags will be a mile long #lol

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skullytotheark · 27 days

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Hi Hi!

I don't usually share my art here BUT lately i've been growing more comfortable w/ ppl seeing my art [as u can tell w/ latest creepyhornets entry]

So I wanted to share My some drawings i did for my fanfic series!

Click more for Art!

[i have alot of readmores on my post so i can navigate my account easier LOL]

Tobias Rogers / "The Colorado Axeman"

Age: 19 [current/present age in fanfic]

As you may remember from the last time i shared his design, His jacket is heavily inspired by the reboot buttt I did eventually change it to better fit his 'colour pallet' [or colours i associate toby with heavily]. Now having a slight 'foresty' colour pallet associated with him in this canon

Lore:

At this stage Toby is struggling alot w/ his own thoughts on Slender to the point he regrets Becoming a proxy in the first place. After returning to his old burnt down house Toby finds a old metal box that contained his sister's jacket. To this day Toby wears the jacket as asort of comfort and kinda like a pass me down jacket as memories of once were begin to haunt him, Along with 'unsuspected guests"

Age 16 / year one proxy: [Past Toby]

For a very good while i've been struggling w/ a 'year one' toby design but within time the og hoodie grew on me, So i gave him the og hoodie but I removed the blue hood. As you may know, Toby was much younger when he became a proxy in my au. Spending most of his time homeschooled within a tense household

Lore:

At this stage Toby had just killed his father and narrowly escaped, Unknowing hypnotized Toby believes that he owes Slender his LIFE to the point he's willing to serve Slender with every order.

Chernabog / 'Eyeless Jack'

Ever since Chernabog joined Slender as a proxy or servants of sorts. Chernabog or better known as eyeless jack dawns a somewhat iconic / original inspired design. A black jumpsuit along with a balaclava underneath his iconic mask [also i'm still VERY new to drawing plus size characters [im also kinda proud how it came out] and kinda hc him to be slighty plus size. Mostly cuz i wanted him to have a unique silhouette comapired to other characters. That and I also think it'd add to intimidation if you just see this 6'7 silhouette in the darkness watching you]

Lore:

Some time after agreeing to work for the Operator / Slenderman, Chernabog better known as Eyeless Jack. Roams inbetween towns collecting fresh meat not only for the Operator but for himself with his new boss's permission.

I know you've probably seen this but I really like how this came out for being a slightly rushed doodle, Featuring The Operator and my Oc Grimace! Grimace has his own little entry into my fanfic series and will have entries featuring him every now and then!

The Idea for The Operator's design in my au is kinda to be more tree like! In this image the tentacles Slender is known for comes from the roots at the base of his feet [at his feet?? I mean idk if he has feet or not at this current point. I mean he might] he also appears somewhat statue and organic like, As if a human was kinda made from bark, roots and what not. I also just really love drawing Slender like this it's funny

That's all I think i can share for Creepyhornets so far But i've been really happy with how some of these drawings are coming out. I dont say it much but i'm extremely proud of the process i've made with this year even though i only just started spending time on practicing how to draw. If I showed u before & after of my art you'd def see alot of progress

Anyway that's all for this post! I'll try to draw some more creepyhornets related stuff eventually! Hopefully draw more of these two since I'm happy with how they came out with my latest drawings

#marble hornets #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #slenderverse #fan au #fan writing #ticci toby #eyeless jack #slenderman

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squeaksinc · 4 months

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2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

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heckitall · 4 months

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Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

1) What an exercise in trying to appreciate my old work - but i gotta say, Lil Prick is probably my favorite. Its so random and came to me suddenly and i just needed to draw it and... it makes me laugh

2) UUUUHHHH honestly? i think everything is pretty well rounded. like there's nothing that sticks out that i was disappointed in the fandoms response. if i had to choose something, it'd be the comic version of No Rest For The Weary by @plothooksinc : NRFTW comic but really, i just like plugging it cuz the colors were so fun

3) NO REST FOR THE WEARY obvs, @tangledinink's Swanatello, and @happyfoxx-art's Aftermath. that's three right. three? three. but if i had four, LSoW would be on it because the writing is a delight, and krangified Donnie comic because of the inspiring way to tell a story, and GiTS was a huge influence on what i really enjoyed about the fandom ---

how dare you make me choose

this was hella fun though, thanks for the walk down 2023!

#heck asks #god i could go on forever #the fandom has a really good blanket of talent

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likesdoodling · 4 months

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It has been a while since I started digital art,

Quite a while.

So here is a 'progress over the last two years' since I gained access to a drawing tablet.

This is my first ever digitally illustrated piece- compared to my latest one-

So, a little bit different.

I do think my art took quite a jump around June 2022, when I took a break from my Steve comic strip, (for obvious reasons- it was about Technoblade's polar bear so...) and decided to try practicing gesture drawing to see if it helped my general anatomy knowledge. This is before,

And this next one is after.

The most obvious change here is that I switched to using thinner lines. There is a gap of about two months between these.

This was when I realised that you could improve art by practicing it (mind-blowing I know), and then started to do just that. Some other notable jumps forward would be when I discovered the airbrush-

Well, discovered a new method of shading with it anyway.

Then after that I had a few pictures that I actually still like, despite them being pretty old at this point, the one below is actually from September of 2022-

I mean, the hands are a bit iffy, but the rest looks alright. This was when I was going through a bit of a melanie martinez phase-

This next one was from January of 2023, I'd only just gotten into bungou stray dogs via some random memes on pinterest about this weird brown haired guy who had lots of bandages and who had this running gag with wanting to die- I actually looked him up at one point, but that didn't really explain much. The main one that I remember was 'life is short, so make it shorter, shorter than chuuya~'

Which at the time was just kind of confusing,

Then I watched the show and it made perfect sense.

I'd discovered ascendance of a bookworm in like, 2021, but I hadn't really been doing fanart of it since I was mainly doing dsmp related stuff and I kind of assumed nobody would know what on earth I was referencing. Turns out tumblr has a lot more bookworm fans than I orignally anticipated. Instagram still has no clue. I think maybe one person out of my followers on instagram knows what I'm on about-

Then we've got these two which I am still proud of btw-

The first one is from a dystopian/time travel fanfic called viridian.

The second one was after I learned about rim lighting. It was inspired by a song actually, 'crash' by noevaii. (and yes I found that song from a sad-ist animatic, it was cool) The character isn't anyone in particular. They're both from February 2023.

Then there's probably my most liked picture on instagram, (not tumblr, since tumblr knows about bsd and bookworm, but y'know. This was even sadder than I originally intended since the last half of my comic strip was finished AFTER everything happened)

Then the final conclusion of my Steve comic strip in May of 2023.

I don't think my art really changed much in between those, but eh.

Then I switched to doing a bunch of ascendance of a bookworm stuff to see what would happen and turns out there are way more fellow fans out there than I anticipated-

Then I guess my next breakthrough in tumblr popularity, (even if it might not have been a breakthrough in art skills necessarily) was when things went DOWN in the bsd fandom with chapter 109 and I did probably one of my most liked tumblr posts I have ever done-

If you want to see the rest of that, feel free to scroll down on my tumblr page, the original's like eight pages long-

This was before anyone knew what was going to happen btw.

I still think it's hilarious that I put in chuuya having contacts. My reasoning being, they're on a film set,

It was a pretty interesting exercise in shading in monochrome.

Then I started a 30 day art challenge in October that I didn't get past day six of, but it was still pretty fun. This is the best one of those-

After that I spent most of my time studying for the jlpt n5, so I didn't really do that much art related stuff,

This is one of the two non-commission related pictures that I finished over the two months after I kind of gave up on the art challenge. This one's from November,

Then I finally finished an art commission I'd been working on for the three months prior, as well as studying. Here is an example of the type of pictures I was doing for that,

Then I was occupied with christmas and birthday presents for my siblings, both my little sisters are into ascendance of a bookworm- (completely my fault I am proud to say) so I was able to do stuff related to that, here's a couple of snippets, but you guys don't get the colour version hehe

And one of them has also read the entire fma manga just like I have so-

Anyway, it's been quite a progression since I resolved to master digital art in 2021.

I reckon I've come a fair way since then. I mean. My art skills in general are way better than they used to be. The last two or three years have been pretty interesting.

Also-

Just had to include this one, I'm gonna do a more detailed version but still-

I think it's funny so I'm posting it here. Even if it's not really related to art progression-

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shimmershy · 5 months

Note

Im impressed by how much you're art evolved to today, do you still think about your art in the past and how you evolved to today to obtain this level of quality and story telling ?

Thank you very much! :D It always means a lot when other people tell me my art has improved over time. I feel like I can definitely see it in little ways. It's just super nice and cool when other people see improvement too! Like wow it's not just me, I really have come a long way with my art.

But yeah, I do think a lot about the art I did in the past and how I got to where I am today. It's really fascinating to me how the skills that kind of come naturally now were all things I had to learn over time. Like to some extent, I can just "feel out" where facial features go now without thinking too much about it, whereas in the past, I know I had a lot more trouble with that. I feel like I tended to draw eyes too big and I had a really weird way of drawing noses. I don't know. I also had pretty bad same-face syndrome I think. But yeah.

When I'm sketching in my sketchbook, I like to flip through the whole thing and look at all the sketches I've done in the past couple years/months and look at the way they've evolved over time in a "big picture" way. It's cool. I think it's especially because although it's a little more than just a hobby now, a good deal of the improvement came solely from my passion and excitement to just bring ideas to life. I was never really "practicing just to practice", and although I did do little studies based on photos from time to time, most of it was just me noticing things and picking things up from the real world but also from art styles I really enjoyed. And wanting to create something that meant something, and just trying until I was happy with it. Like I definitely never had "natural talent" - that doesn't exist - but I've always had a passion to create, and I feel like the act of drawing as a way of expressing my ideas has always come kind of naturally to me, probably because I did it so much when I was younger. It's always been my "thing". It's just cool to see that passion I've always had turn into art that I'm really proud of today!

#ask #godofchaoss #sorry for getting kinda ramble-y I tend to do that. especially when talking about art and process stuff.#I love drawing sooooo much. did you guys know that? were you aware?#I don't know if all this reads as conceited at all. you don't have to read all that skdhfskd I just. I actually do think about it a lot.#I'm not trying to say I'm the best artist ever or even that I'm a good artist! I'm just like. happy with where I'm at.#because at the end of the day I'm not even doing it to be good or for other people to think my art's good.#I want to create stuff that feels important to me. I have ideas I want to make Real and drawing is my way of doing that.#and so it's like. I make things that are good To Me. and To Me my art is awesome!! it makes me so happy!!#and then sharing my art is just a bonus because it means a lot to me that the stuff I draw for myself can #mean something to other people too. :)#I don't know if that makes sense but. yeah. sjdfhksdf I could go on and on I'm sorry I have way too much to say sometimes.

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stressedbisexualtm · 6 months

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WAIT HOLD ON I HAD A BIG BRAIN MOMENT

For anyone that didn't catch Wilbur's stream today: when he checked the mailbox in front of tallulah towers looking for clues on where Llulah is, he noticed he had a letter from the federation. It basically said that Lovejoy is funding the federation, and they're proud of Wilbur. It also had a picture attached of a painted drawing of the Brazilian cargo ship on fire, in the same style Lovejoy's album covers have all been lately. I noticed this during the stream, but didn't have much time to think about it. However, a user on twitter pointed out that there's gotta be some deeper meaning there, which lead me to look back on Lovejoy's recent releases.

First up: Call Me What You Like - A single released by Lovejoy very early in the year (february or march I think, but idk for sure) whose album cover depicts a plane crashing toward the ground, on fire. I, like any good sleuth, immediately connected it to the French plane. The French crashed into the island via plane, and I do belive it was on fire before they hit the ground. The thing that made me jump the most was that this was, as far as I remember, released before the qsmp had even STARTED, much less when the French joined the server. Another small detail I noticed that might not be important is that Quackity appears in the music video as well as cc's not affiliated with the qsmp and people I could not identify any of the times I watched it (probably just background actors, but my brain's working overtime anyway).

Next up: Wake Up & It's Over - Lovejoy's latest EP, which includes the single Call Me What You Like. It's album cover depicts a train on fire, heading sideways off of its tracks. This reminded me of the first trains on the island - the ones that brought the initial English and Spanish speakers to the island. There was never a problem with them crashing or being set on fire as far as I remember, but it could be poetic. Another thought I had was about the create mod. For the past month or so, about since the eggs left I think, people have been experimenting with the create mod more - mostly using trains, actually. This could be a future event occurring with all the trains people have been building, something going wrong or some crazy angsty lore, idk. Again, it could be more of a symbol or an omen, but with cmwyl and the picture the federation gave q!bur I don't think it is. Another very obvious possibility is that it represents new members joining, like the other two do.

Third, and final: Normal People Things - Lovejoy's latest single, released just a week or two ago. The cover image for this song depicts a car crashing into the side of a house, the car very clearly on fire. I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but the other three covers all seem to take place during the day, but Normal People Things looks like it's happening during a sunrise/sunset (likely the latter). This cover is one I'm not really sure what to do with. It obviously follows the pattern of the others, so it's gotta fit in somewhere, I just don't know where. Nothing like that has ever happened to the players so we can be sure it's a future event. I'm not sure if it represents new players joining or just something the residents will have to deal with. (This last bit that I'm about to talk about is a huge stretch, but I've seen crazier connections.) As I was looking at all of the album covers, I thought a little bit more about the lyrics in npt. It reminds me of the happy pills arc, where Forever was taking pills and going a little insane. Here are a few of the lyrics:

Panic attack,/Backing track

Background hum/Of the cerebellum

What a blessing/To meet someone like you

With eyes as dead as mine, it's fine/It's normal people things to lie here in silence

(skip)

Spending days in/Self-medicating

Lost too much weight/Unpleasant aftertaste

We look the same/Play different games

This is probably the biggest leap I have ever made when theorizing, and it's most likely wrong, so don't judge me too harshly for it lol. I've probably got something with the covers, though, so I'm gonna be keeping my eyes out for that, and JESUS this is so COOL

#qsmp #qsmp federation #qsmp wilbur #qsmp lovejoy #(that's a tag now)#generic talking tag #wilbur soot #q!wilbur

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recklessracoon · 3 months

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I thought I'd share my Saiki K playlist. It's just a bunch of songs I like that I think fit him rough arranged by where I feel like they fall on his character arc. Justifications for my selections under the cut.

I Am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel: This song really strikes me as affirmations of a deeply lonely person trying to convince themselves that they're better off this way. A good fit for Saiki at the start of the series when he's closed himself off from other people.

The Beast by Spectacle-P: It's about a someone who's been lonely for so long that they've forgotten how lonely they are being offered love but being too proud and full of fear to accept it. I'd quote some of the translated lyrics but I'd just end up putting most of the song here I think. Please watch the subtitled video on youtube and tell me if don't think this isn't a good fit for Saiki.

Nothing at All: Reminds me of early series Saiki's tirades about how much being a psychic sucks where he just describes the symptoms of depression.

Loveless by Steampianist: Honestly I don't remember why I put this on here. Probably because of the feelings of alienation it conveys and how it seems to be about the ace experience of not being able to experience love in the way that society tells you should.

Are You Satisfied by Marina: I think this ones pretty self-explanatory. If I was better at drawing I'd like to make an animatic about the Saiki brothers using this song.

Star of Show: I'll admit this ones a bit more of a stretch and honestly it's mostly on here because I like listening to it when plotting out my fanfic but also "I'm not a freak/I'm not an act/I'm not a deity's performance!" kind of fits with his issues about how his powers affect people's perception of him.

404 by Pinocchio-P: It's about feeling unable to connect to people and like your true-self will be rejected. I also think the little alien guy in the music video for it looks a lot like Kusuo. I actually forgot how good a fit this was until I went and looked at the lyrics again and yup past me was correct in putting it on this playlist.

A Hundred Years Unresolved: It's lonely sounding and I came to associate it with Saiki because like listening to it when I play the Regentquest segment of See You in the Dark. No deeper reason then that.

Oh No! by Marina: Kusuo is the sort of guy to go "I know exactly what I want and who I want to be." You know, like a liar.

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense: I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel like the theme of falseness that runs through the song fits him. It's also worth mentioning that this song is also on my Kuusuke playlist that I'm not sharing here because it isn't as good and frankly it's kind of shameful that I even have a playlist for that guy.

I Am Not a Robot by Marina: Kusuo is vulnerable and lovable even if he doesn't believe that about himself.

God-ish by Pinocchio-P: I'm not sure how well this one fits because frankly this is one of the Pinocchio-P songs I don't feel like I have as solid a handle on the meaning of. I mostly chose it because of the name and because it seems to be a pretty cynical song.

Fear and Loathing by Marina: "Now I see, I see it for the first time / There is no crime in being kind / Not everyone is out to screw you over / Maybe, yeah just maybe, they just want to get to know you" I feel like this is fairly self-explanatory

arms by Christina Perri: I listened to my Pandora stations for the first time in ages recently (well back in August, apparently), heard this and thought "Kubosai song?!" though frankly it would also work well for Nensai or other Saiki ships or even platonically if you ignore some the more romantic lyrics. Though I think it's best suited to the first two listed. Anyway I think this fits Saiki's relationship issues pretty well.

Soap by The Oh Hellos: It's a very hopeful song about how people need other people and you are not unlovable. So I think you can imagine why I thought it was a good song to end the playlist with.

#saiki kusuo no ψ nan #my saiki k posts #fan playlist #Spotify

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kamildawww · 8 months

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Happy Heavenly Birthday, Freddie Mercury!! <33

today this talented person would have turned 77 years old. eh, life takes away from us the most talented and unique people. i want to thank him for everything he did in this life, that he changed my life. i have again so many thoughts spinning in my head, so i will try to formulate them normally.

as i said, today is the birthday of the most talented, beautiful, wonderful, charismatic, caring, bright, intelligent and loving person — Freddie Mercury or Farrokh Bulsara! i want to thank you, Freddie, for everything that you have done in this life, that you gave music your incredible and unique hits, and simply left an imprint on music and this life. i want to thank you for everything that you have done and continue to do in my life; you are a huge inspiration to me and a ray of light in my life. if not for you, then i don’t know what i would have done in those bad moments for me in life. thank you for the unique emotions - whether it be sadness or happiness - impressions and memories, i keep them all in my head and soul. i am so happy that fate introduced me to such an incredibly talented person as you, Freddie.

i am so happy that Freddie has close friends who remember and love him to this day and share their memories with us; fans who love, support and do incredible work with this great man. i'm sure Freddie is proud of all of you!

Freddie is a talented person, he just has an incredible voice, as if heaven itself endowed him with an incomparable voice and simply amazing piano playing. i have always loved and continue to love everything about this man. i can't help but thank fate again for introducing Freddie to Tim, Brian and Roger. and that Freddie insisted that - the future "Queen" - the group continue to live! i am so happy that Freddie found Deaky and found talent in him, because without these four talented and amazing people, "Queen" would not be "Queen" that exists.

i can't get past the songs written by Freddie, regarding his work in "Queen" and his solo career, and not to say that i LOVE them! i'm sure they have some meaning and that these songs had some meaning in his life, as a memory of something or an event or something like that. his songs have always evoked a storm of emotions in me, for which i am again very grateful to him. Freddie always makes me smile, even on my worst day. thank you for not letting me give up. Freddie can make us smile and laugh, but at the same time he can make us think and shed a tear..

Freddie has been through a lot and i'm happy he stayed strong even during his toughest days. i am happy that he had friends and people close to him who stayed with him to the last.

okay, i think that's all that i wanted to say, i'm sorry that it came out so much, i'm just really grateful to this person. happy birthday again, Freddie. thank you for being a huge inspiration to so many people. i love you very much and appreciate you, thank you for everything. you are a very important person in my life, thank you for always being with me, although i know that it sounds very weird. happy birthday again, Legend! you will always live with us, in our hearts, in music, we love and appreciate you! <33 first of all, about the drawing, i know that it turned out not very well, this is not my best work, but i tried. there's a lot going on in life right now (again) but i tried to find the time to draw a present for Freddie. the art block is killing me, which is probably why it didn't work out so well. but i hope you enjoy it! <33

#queen #queen band #queen fanart #freddie mercury art #freddie mercury #happy birthday freddie mercury #freddie mercury fanart

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avephelis · 4 months

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Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOOOOVE ATTENTION

ermmm don'tknow... maybe the ghibli study i did with tamper? really proud of that one (lots of detail and very different from my usual style with the thin lineart!). but ALSO doing a two for one because i finally posted one of my stupid shitpost animations this year and i think i peaked with hate criming leonardo ninja turtle.

MY DND NPC GAYBOY i'm super fond of that piece (but understandably my oc art doesn't get as many notes lol). also technically scottie's post but embryo magical girl lives in my head forever... OH! and the spidersona mass attack i did for artfight i spent forever on that.

GYAHH I DUNNO THERE'S SO MANY... @sodaquail's to your joy i tether comes to mind that fic changed my brain chemistry i think. umm jaime @routeriver's fucking everything (LOOK AT THIS SHIT. LOOK AT IT.) and jay @oh-lordy-lord-save-me's everything (amazing times a million billion). AND! scottie @wiiwarechronicles always forever but also the drawing he did of my ocs is soo.. aaugh.. AND @cpunkhobie's RONIN PLURAL AU FUCKING IN MY BRAIN FOREVER. there's way more than that but this is getting super long lmao

i think 2023 was a great year with art for me. super excited about 2024!! all the best for everyone reading this too!!

#SO SORRY IF ANYONE DOESNT LIKE @s. i just think all your works are absolutely incredible and i love them so much and need you to know that.#but if anyone wants me to un-@ them just lmk i dont wanna overstep any boundaries #THANKYOU AGAIN FOR THE ASK !!! it makes me so proud that you think of me as a somewhat notable artist lmao :^)#asks

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playroom-sekaii · 7 months

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Hello!! could you do some little mizu & cg ena hcs if thats okay (>^ω^<)

Alright, here you go! :D

-Mizuki's the epitome of a chaos toddler, normally slipping to around 3-4 years old. They can go a bit younger if they're feeling especially bad, but Ena's there to help them feel all better!

- They're a voluntary regressor, usually after having to go to school they'll use the evening to relax and feel small. They don't usually like letting others be around them when they're little though (not only from thinking it would be like their other secret, but I sort of headcanon that they've had bad experiences in their past telling others that they're an age regressor, making them even more nervous about letting anyone know), but Ena is working to help them feel more comfortable with it. When their anxiety over their secret gets especially bad, they involuntarily regress, which is normally when they allow Ena to step in and help.

-Ena is currently one of only two of Mizuki's true friends that know about this part of them, the other being Rui. She wants to do everything she can to help them when they're small, wishing to support their mental health however she can. Though she'd never admit it, she spent a lot of time researching how to be a good caregiver for them, along with thinking about when she was younger with Akito.

-Ena's quite good at telling when Mizuki's trying to hide that they're regressed. Their voice gets a bit mumbly, their teasing doesn't hit as hard as it usually does, they tend to fidget with looser parts of their outfits. Even if they try to deny it, Ena will tell them that it's okay, and try to take them somewhere more secluded if they're in public or start a private Nightcord call if they're not physically together.

-Little Mizuki absolutely loves playing dress-up, it's their favorite thing in the world! They let Ena pick out special outfits for them to wear, and then they put on a little fashion show for her! Sometimes Ena gives them small makeovers as well, and she occasionally lets Mizuki do the same for her (sure, her little one's attempts at doing her makeup make her look like a clown, but she's proud of their hard work!)

-Ena enjoys getting to do arts and crafts with her small one - coloring, drawing, finger painting, she absolutely cherishes every piece Mizuki makes while little. They really like watching Ena draw as well, she can make almost anything, it's like she's magic! There have been a few incidents of Mizuki coloring on Ena's walls, and while she was quite proud of her little one's art, she didn't want to get in trouble with her parents so she had to scrub it off-

-Sometimes Mizuki will want to play games with Ena, be it board games or things like hide and seek, but they're quite a competitive and sneaky small one. Making up rules on the fly is quite common, much to the annoyance of Ena ("An' I can go a extra space!" "What?! Why?" "Cuz I'm special!" "I mean, you are, but..." "Hehe~")

-Mizuki still teases Ena a bit while they're little, though their attempts don't hit as hard as when they're big. Ena likes to pretend that they're the most insulting things she's ever been told, though this sometimes makes Mizuki worry that they've genuinely upset her ("Ena you butthead!" "*gasp* Goodness, Mizuki! How dare!" "Wait Ena no-")

-Cuddles are very abundant! Whenever Mizuki's upset or tired, or just randomly, the two of them will end up on Ena's bed surrounded by plushies, it makes Mizu feel especially safe and happy <3

-Mizuki's favorite stuffed animal while little is a cat Ena got them that they named Amethyst (though they sometimes struggle with the pronunciation, simply calling her Ammy), they take her everywhere with them. If Ammy goes missing you will not know peace around little Mizu until she is found.

-Ena is somewhat overprotective of lil Mizu, she always tends to go the extra mile to make sure nothing happens that could cause them to be hurt or upset. Mizuki thinks she's being a bit silly when she worries like this, but they truly are grateful for how much she cares for them ♡

#project sekai agere #mizuki akiyama #ena shinonome #mine ♡

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sakarrie-creates · 4 months

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It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me.

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following: 1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music 2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail 3. Fanworks for other people’s fics 4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art 5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!

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sailor-aviator · 6 months

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✨

Okay, so kind of a personal post, but I wanted to get my thoughts down, and I will end up deleting this later lol

For my whole life, I have loved books and stories. I have literally been writing stories since before I even knew how to read and write. Somewhere at home is a picture frame that my great-aunt put together of a drawing I made when I was like two or three, and it was a sloppy finger painting, but it's clear that it's meant to be two people and some kind of creature. And she typed up a caption for it, and I guess it was the description I had given her of what the painting was supposed to be.

"A prince saves a princess from the scary dragon, and they live happily ever after."

Not my best work, admittedly, but it's the first documented time of me making a story, and I looked at that picture frame with fondness. Who knows where it is now, probably tucked away in some box in the attack after my parents moved.

But, then I got super into writing in like the third grade when I came up with my first original story, and then my love for writing snowballed from there. I can't tell you how many stories would flit in and out of my brain over the years, but somehow I think y'all have an idea just based on the ideas I pitch on here. But, just know that the ones I put on here are only a fraction of the ones I come up with.

I don't know why I'm so in love with writing and stories exactly. Maybe it's the thrill of making my own worlds where my problems aren't so present and overwhelming, or maybe it's because I love to find the magic in different possibilities. That sounds kind of smarmy, doesn't it? But, I think it's still true.

But, something that's been part of my personal journey as of late is the idea of doing things for myself and not others. My whole life, I've been such a huge people pleaser, and now at my big age, I've decided that I don't want to live my life like that anymore, but I'm faced with the problem of: how do I stop?

I'll start off by saying that I love my parents a lot. They've made a lot of sacrifices for me and they do a lot for me, and I'm forever grateful to them. But whether they meant for it or not, there was a lot of pressure to be a certain thing growing up. I could have hobbies like writing, acting, painting, drawing, singing, etc. But I had to be realistic, and that meant that I wasn't allowed to pursue those things as my main goal. I had to find a way to stuff myself into the box of "STEM, business, or something that would make money." And I get why. Financially, life was rough for a really, REALLY long time growing up. Both of my parents came from households where their parents worked more than one job to make ends meet, and this was back in the 60s and 70s.

So, for most of my life, I allowed myself to have those hobbies, using them as an escape for the growing pressure I was feeling at needing to be "perfect" for my family. And that's just it. I was never "perfect" enough. I could have won first place at a tournament for speech and debate, and I would be given critiques on how I could have done better. They always told me they were proud of me, but the word "but" always came after their words of praise.

"You did such a good job, but..."

"That was really good, but..."

"It would have been even better if you just..."

I didn't hear the words "I'm proud of you" by themselves until I was 12 years old and it was from a family friend. I remember waiting for the "but" to come, and when it never did, I had to excuse myself to go cry in the bathroom.

So I escaped further into my little worlds, and sometimes I would share them with my friends who would always tell me that they loved my stories, but there was always the nagging feeling in the back of my head that they were lying. They had to say that because they were my friends, but also because the stories weren't...perfect.

I've always been a perfectionist, and it's something I'm learning to get over as time goes on. These past few months have been such a journey for me because I've been allowing myself to be bad at shit.

But then I started posting on here, and it made me feel so good to know that literal strangers thought my writing was good too. You guys didn't have to lie to me and tell me that it was, you genuinely thought my writing was great! And it makes me so happy! It refueled my love for writing, and I hope I can keep writing for years to come!

But I've also been telling my mom about all of this (leaving out the 18+ bits lol) and the other night she looked at me and asked me if I had considered actually getting a story published.

Now, this was a bit of a blow for me for a couple of reasons. Yes, I'm so happy that she's finally taking an interest and seeing how passionate I've always been about writing, but...

But why now? Are you asking me that because you genuinely think I'll get published, or are you asking me because you're hearing that people actually really appreciate my hobby and you think I can make money off it? Why are you suddenly so enthusiastic about something I've made clear that I always wanted to do?

Idk, I'm probably just overthinking the whole thing, and I know she's genuinely happy for me, but it still kind of heart. Yeah, the dream is to one day be a published author. It always has been, but who knows if I'll ever finish anything good enough to be published, ya know?

Anyway, if you stuck around this long you can breathe out a sigh of relief lol I'm done rambling and ranting for now. I'll get some of the updates out to you guys when I can

#personal #long post #y'all do NOT have to read this lol #I will more than likely delete this later #gonna start using this website as my diary lmaoooooo

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