#i remember wearing eyeshadow going out with my mom once and she commented But I thought you wanted to be a boy....

[sweetaesuga]

in your eyes | m

pairing: jungkook x female reader!

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, fratboy jk! ex-fuckboy jk! bookworm reader! friends to lovers!

warnings: language, insecurity, drinking, dom jungkook! fingering in public, exhibitionism, female masturbation, grinding, oral (m), dirty talk, light choking, degrading (slut/whore), squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (both are clean but stay safe), bathroom sex, riding, pinning.

word count: 10.6k+

synopsis: jungkook always sees you like the only girl in the world, and you just see him as a fuckboy. OR jungkook just wants a chance🥺

↳ a/n: first time i ever write a fic or smut please enjoy🤧 

You were only sixteen when you met him. He stepped into the classroom in all dark baggy clothes in an uneasy walk. At first glance you would of thought he was a timid person. Wrong, under all of that bullshit you see an egoistic and self-assured asshole that you're somehow happy to call your friend. You even learned that it was facade. Jungkook was a boy with a good heart who always remained loyal to all of his friends.

Jungkook just turned seventeen when he met you, noticing you straight away when you had a nice sense of fashion. You always had on an accessory that matched with the color of your shirt or jeans. You also always wore a bit of bright colors in your outfits. The bright unique makeup is what caught his attention too. He was proud to call you his friend.

When you both happily entered the same college along with your best friend Hayoon, everything changed. He began hanging out with a new group of friends, they were all older than them and deeply influenced him. He joined a fraternity then and began spending less time with you. He only came over to study or celebrate your birthday. His busyness merely reminded you how he preferred to spend his time hooking up with random girls every week rather than play board games with you or rant to him about your new book you were reading.

You don't exactly remember when he started but you do remember all the girls that talked about how amazing he was in bed which solely added more uncertainty on you. You even walked in on him and a freshman girl going at it in one of the sorority’s room at a party you were both attending.

The memory of when he started crushing on you was foggy to you but he always remembered it in a flash. It was when he had a taekwondo match, where circumstantially Jungkook's girlfriend, who wasn't really his girlfriend, at the time couldn't make it. His hopes were put down by the thought of someone not supporting him, since he always tried his best with his own cheerleader being there.

In the middle of the match, his eyes scanned the bleachers, wishing for someone to be there. His wishes were granted as he saw you there. Standing awkwardly, you gave him a little wave with a smile. His chest heaved in glee, sending you a quick smile before he returned to his match.

The sound of you screaming his name when he won, put a enormous smile on his face. Jungkook watched you run down the bleachers, apologizing to all the people you were bumping through. You leaped into his arms easily.

Your next words to him were a blur since Jungkook was too focused on just having you in his arms. He was grinning happily at you, hair sticking to his forehead. His heart heaved with warmth as you hugged him tightly.

He was twenty-one and you were twenty when he realized he had a crush on you.

You were seventeen when you realized you liked him.

But you were nineteen when you realized you would never be good enough for him.

"He then had the audacity to ask me if I slept with anyone else! The nerve of that guy," you felt like your ear was going to bleed out just by listening to your best friend blabber about her ex-boyfriend.

"Why don't you just stop talking to him? I don't know...block his number or something?" you suggested, very uninterested in this conversation about her ex-boyfriend contacting her. She could simply just block him out her life and be done with him. 

You stared at the worn out rubber of the tip of your black converse. She popped the gum in her mouth, the sound became annoying to you. Hayoon squinted her eyes at you, trying to find something to say to argue back to you. She instead changed the subject. "Where were you on Saturday?"

"Studying like the rest of the students here," you moved to rest your weight onto your right leg. "I just can't seem to understand how finals are coming up and some people are out here partying? The library was packed when I got there."

"Yeah well I wouldn't know because I didn't go," she grinned at you. "Instead I went to a party because I'm not a loser like you!" Hayoon giggled to herself and you rolled your eyes. "Also," she popped the gum loudly. "Jungkook was asking for you. Calling for his dream girl. . .or something like that—I don't know can't remember—too drunk you know?"

Your ears perked up to that. "Really?" you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear that got in the way and leaned forward. "Did you remember why he was looking for me?"

Hayoon grinned again. "Even if I do know why would you care? Don't you hate him or something?" she smiled evilly and threw her head back.

You froze and leaned back to your seat. You know what she was trying to do and it was never going to happen.

You were never going to give Jeon Jungkook a chance.

Jungkook stumbled into the library, eyes searching for you immediately. There was nearly a crowd of students that were preparing for finals. "Hey have you guys seen Y/N?" he asked a study group. A girl in your class answered him, telling him that you were somewhere by the windows.

Of course you were, he thought to himself. You would be seated at your usual spot. He walked over to the windows and spotted you straight away. Watching your figure become closer as he walked further, he took the sandwich out of his bag. "Hey Y/N!" you already knew that voice. You looked up at Jungkook. As usual he looked drop-dead gorgeous. He wore his usual dark baggy outfit, a black cargo jogger and a much darker hoodie with some black combat boots. He was showing off his helix piercing and his fresh new haircut.

"Nice haircut," you referred to his undercut and the fact that he was showing forehead. "Seems like you spent a lot of time on it."

"Yeah! Just for you," he smiled, his cheeks being pushed up. You let out a heavy sigh, clearly not in the mood for his flirtatiousness. "Got you a sandwich, by the way," he laid it in front of you.

You let out a small smile and took it from him, trying not to show how your mouth got watery so quickly. "Thanks, you didn't have to though," he shook his head.

"I don't want you starving to death," he sat down next to you, shoulder pressing against yours. "What are you studying for?" his nose nuzzled your ear. You rolled your eyes and shoved him away, ignoring the goosebumps his warm breath caused.

"Just getting my notes ready. Wanna highlight or color code it but feel like it's going to fuck up everything. Also don't wanna be those fucking girls that always have to make their fucking notes pretty. Also, do I look tired?" he studied your face for any features that made you seem exhausted. "I was up till two in morning watching these two Indian guys build a pool."

His eyes lit up. "Oh my god, I come across from those too."

"I know they came up all over my fucking Youtube recommendations. I got sucked into binge watching them. It makes me feel fucking lazy to be honest, the amount of fucking water they carry back and forth. I wouldn’t be able to do that.”

Jungkook snickered and made a note of how much you swore. "I need to make a swear jar for you. You swear too much."

"Not even," you laughed back at him and nudged his shoulder. "I'm just a little frustrated and stressed right now," his gaze dropped on the purple pins in your hair, holding each side of your hair. "I called my mom and she said to not stress over this, but you know how I get," you frowned and turned to him. He finally took in your appearance. Your bright purple eyeshadow with purple gems adorning the top of it. You wore a purple flare pants and a white long sleeved, deep v-line crop top. His eyes dropped down to your cleavage, trying to see if you had a bra on.

"Holy shit Y/N!" the students around him shushed him. He burned up and muttered a sorry to them, you giggled at how embarrassed he looked. "You look amazing. What's the special occasion?"

"Nothing," you shook your head, a smile still on your face. "Can't I dress up once in awhile?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, knowing that you normally only wear outfits like this when they’re new or it’s the first week of school. "Okay," you dragged your word out. "I got this outfit last week and really wanted to use it today. It's cute right?"

"Yeah, really cute," he toyed with your hair pins, messing up your hair.

Neglecting his comment, you carried on. "I even got up in early in the morning to do my makeup. If I'm gonna show up wearing a new outfit, I might as well have a cute ass face to go with it," you frowned when you remembered something. "And I realized I don't have different color hair pins, they're all purple so thank fuck the fucking pants are purple."

"Well I think you look very cute, Y/N. Boop!" he poked your nose gently. You swatted his hand away, warning him to stop but all you're given is a large bunny smile. "Come on, eat your sandwich. I didn't just come all the way over here searching for you just to talk to you."

"Actually you did bitch."

"Oof, swear jar," he rested his palm out in front you. You took a bite out of the sandwich, placing a quarter on his palm. "No a dollar, Y/N."

"No! What the fuck—wait!" he held out his palm again. "That's not fucki—hold up, you can't just say a dollar," you whined and grabbed your bag. "I don't have money growing out of my ass."

"I don't know that yet. I'm gonna have to check to make sure," you threw a dollar at him. He laughed and picked it up.

"I know your kind," you spatted at him and tossed the other two dollars at him which he easily caught. "Wanna drain my f-freaking bank account."

"Oh come on, I want you to be my sugar mama," he jested, leaning forward to give you a huge smug.

"Sucks to be you actually. I'm looking to be a sugar baby, not a sugar mama," you glanced over your shoulder towards him. His laugh echoed and you watched as students gave him a dirty look from how loud it was.

"Of course. You're the brokest bitch in the city no one actually wants you to be their sugar mama," you gasped at his words.

"Am not!"

"Are so!" you both laughed at each other. His hand searched for yours underneath the table. He must've noticed how tensed up you had gotten when he found it, managing to wrap your smaller fingers into his. "I've been meaning to talk to you by the way."

You groaned, knowing where this will be going. "Jungkook, stop I'm not in the mood," you caught a quick glimpse of the time. "Look, I have to go, my bus will be coming soon." You don't let him mention anything else. Bolting out of the library, you leave a crestfallen Jungkook behind.

He shook his head and took the half eaten sandwich you also left behind. He trailed behind you, backpack threatening to fall down his arm. You proceeded to walk to the bus stop, Jungkook just close behind. "Didn't see you at the party on Saturday?" the voice came from behind you. You opt to ignore it but by the sound of his voice it was easy to tell that he has been dying to ask this question. When you didn't answer him, he tried again. "Seriously where were you on Saturday?"

You sunk down on the bench. "None of your business."

"Well, I was kind of worried about you. I thought you were going to be there so that's why I came," he took a seat right besides you. "Once I saw you weren't there, I left."

"I was at the library studying for finals," you weren't sure why you were telling him this.  After his little confession your heart felt weird. If you hadn't told him though, he probably would've guessed it. Still, he needed confirmation.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? We could’ve studied together!" he complained, nudging his shoulder with yours.

"Jungkook stop, I know what you're doing," you glared at him, wanting to get away. He frowned and reached over to hold you. "I already told you no," you hissed, disregarding the way his eyes appeared sunken at your response.

"Why not? I already told you, I'm not messing around anymore. I genuinely want to settle down with someone," he stared into your eyes with such intensity you felt like your brain was going to explode. Your ears took in his words slowly. "I want to be with you."

"Jungkook, please—"

"Come on, one date. I swear to god I've changed," he ranted. He's always been very keen on having a chance with you, but with all those girls that he used to take home you felt otherwise. You would listen to the girls on how good Jungkook was. How good he looked at night in the dark moonlight. How he would manhandle them in random places. How his muscles would appear every time he flexed them. How those hips of his were a miracle. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't ever want to see him that way too.

"I'm flattered, I really am—I just really don't want to be with someone like you. I'm sorry," you apologized, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

He blinked then squinted his eyes at you. "What do you mean someone like me?" He sounded somewhat offended at your words.

"You used to fuck around!" you fumed and threw your hands up. The bus was coming down the road towards the two of you. "I don't like that."

"Why not?" He's way too stubborn to let you go, you forgot.

"Because...I just don't okay? Lets leave it there," you stood up and walked over to the bus once it opened its doors. He followed close behind. Before you can enter your dollar into the machine, he does it for you.

The bus driver smiled at him while you glared at him. You walked to the back of the bus, smiling to all the other passengers but secretly upset. Jungkook still followed you like a lost puppy. You slid down in the seat. Your left arm feeling the side of the bus once you properly sat down. "Here, I'll pay you back," you hold out the dollar bill but he sat still in his seat.

"Well shit, sugar mama not right now," You sighed and put it back in your bag. You heard him snort.

"Come on, tell me why you won't give me a chance and I'll leave you alone," he offered. He held your eyes for a moment before you let out a breath of air and looked away.

If he’ll leave you alone, then you must have to say why you won’t grant him a chance with you, a chance for him to become your boyfriend.

"I'm too insecure for you," he opened his mouth but you shushed him. "I'm not...how do I put this? I'm not like them?" you questioned and glanced over at him. He had a look of worry washed all over his face. "The girls that you were with are those who are all popular, party all day, and are very attractive. They all do casual sex, and I don't want be that type of person, I want something serious. Like you have dated Soojin! She's really pretty, makes me gay even," you chuckled at yourself. "That's not the point though. If I'm with you, all I could ever think about is the girls you were with and how different I am from them. I just can't be with someone when all I'll ever think about are my insecurities with them. So how could I possibly ever be good enough for you?" you don't look at him after that.

He sighed and gripped your small hand into his. You almost cringed when you remembered how sweaty your hands were. "That's why I'm after you though. You're not like them. I wanted a change. You are good enough, you'll always be good enough for me. Hell, I feel like I’m not good enough for you. And I really don't care if you're any of that other stuff. I still want to have a shot with you." you don't realize how long you both were holding eye contact. The two of you don't look away from each other however. You don’t even comprehend how close you two have gotten. He reached over to push back a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your breath hitched.

"I don't know Jungkook, I'm just really unsure," you admitted and leaned back in your seat to create some distance between you two. "My mind isn't clear right now but I highly doubt I would want to give you a chance."

"Really? You don't want me?" he bit his lip and glanced over at you. "How can I change your mind?" you stopped functioning when he reached over to press up against your thigh. His fingers travelled over to your inner thigh. He kept rubbing circles around there for a few minutes, hand drawing closer each time. Your cheeks grew crimson once you wrapped your mind around on how wet you become so quickly, and he barely even touched you what an embarrassment.

You were only getting aroused quickly because of how long your dry spell was. You haven’t being touched in so long that you craved it so much, no matter who it was with.

"What are you doing?" you hated how you felt so hot under his eyes at the moment. He brushed you aside until you repeated your question again.

"Nothing," his lips curved upwards. He faced forward, ignoring the fact that his hand was practically between your legs.

"Jungkook, stop that!" you hissed and whacked his hand away. He withdrew his hand from your inner thigh but still kept it at the top of your thigh. His thumb gently tracing circles into your skin.

"Bet you're fucking wet under that," he commented. You caught his stare, watching his eyes fixed on your cleavage. A smile forms across his face when he takes notice of how you're rubbing your thighs together. "Don't be scared, I'll go easy on you. You wearing those pink panties that I love on you?"

You knew what he was referring to. Leaving your laundry on your bed wasn't a good idea especially when an excited Jungkook was coming over to watch a new episode of You, but he didn't give you time to pick it up so your baby pink lace underwear was out on the sheets. "Shut up. I'm not going to let you do shit," you furiously crossed your arms over your chest. His eyes flickered back down to your breasts that were shoved up into a tighter position.

"Really? You say that but you're on the verge of asking me to touch you. I know it, Y/N," you bit your lip hard to avoid saying something. You heard him laugh. "It's okay, no one will notice, if you're a good slut and keep your mouth shut." Your eyes widened at his words.

You’ve never been called a degrading name in bed. With the two boyfriends you’ve been with, they always called you loving names that had gotten boring quick as well as their vanilla sex. Yet somehow it stirred you up at the thought of being called a slut, especially Jungkook calling you that.

But it was almost like a completely different Jungkook had surfaced. You knew he was some sort of sex god but didn't expect him to have such a dirty mouth. You decided to test the waters. A little fun wouldn’t hurt.

You spread your legs a little wider, inviting him to get closer. He stared into your eyes as you stared down at his hand. "Unbutton your pants," he demanded. Your eyes expanded even more at his words. You were just thinking of getting him eager not to do something here.

You looked around to see if anyone could see or hear you two but they were all facing forward and minding their own business. Your hands went to unbutton your pants, pushing your zipper down. "Open your legs," you did as you were told. "Wider, wider," your right leg rested on top of his muscular thigh. "You wet enough?" he asked, reaching down to your core. You shivered when his hand entered your underwear. He sinks his two fingers in and you whined. He took his fingers out, gazing on the glistening wetness on it.

"Dirty fucking slut," he murmured and dig his fingers back into you. You gripped his wrist harshly but encouraged him to add more fingers. He complied and proceeded to finger you in the back of the bus. "Never thought I would finger the girl of my dreams in the back of the bus," he chuckled as he heard you calling out his name. "You gotta be quiet if you don't wanna get caught." he teased softly. He pounded his fingers into you faster. His eyes laying upon your furrowed eyebrows and bitten lip. You began to nudge into his fingers, meeting him halfway with the movement of your hips. Your grip on his wrist tightened as he touched your clit with the tip of his finger. He snorted and proceeded to move against you, ignoring his hardness that was forming in his pants. You threw your head back and stared up at the ceiling. You bit your lip hard, almost drawing blood.

Jungkook clutched your knee, forcing you to open wider. You raked over the passengers in the seat, who are still unaware of you getting fingered at the back of the bus. You moaned into his hoodie. You let go of his wrist to hold his bicep. He looked down at you. He reached over to cup your face, bringing your lips to meet his. You’re taken back a little but nonetheless you open your mouth to tempt him to slid his mouth in. He fulfilled your craving. The two of you looked like random teenagers making out in the back but what they couldn't see was his fingers stuck up your wet core.

"Jesus fucking Christ," you said under your breath, pulling away from his redden lips. His fingers pounded brutally into you. He showed no sign of slowing down.

"You make a fucking noise and I swear to god I will take you on this bus full of people. I don't give a fuck, Y/N," your pussy quenched around him at that. Your wetness glimmered on his fingers.

"Oh my god, Jungkook, oh my god," you moaned against his neck. Hiding your face from him, you picked up the pace of your hips. "Uh—fuck, holy shit do that again," you referred to him touching your clit. He does that again. "Oh fuck," you whimpered when you felt an uneasy feeling building up within you. "I'm gonna fucking cum."

"Yeah? That fucking early? I knew your little pussy wouldn't be able to take it," Jungkook's lips formed a smirk. "And this is just with my fingers babe. Bet you can't handle my dick," you ignored him. You sobbed into his neck and leaned up to kiss him in efforts to silence your moans, cumming hard all over his fingers. It takes two minutes before you released Jungkook from the kiss. He drew his hand away from your skirt and made sure you were holding eye contact with him when he cleaned his fingers with his tongue.

You gulped. Reality finally hit you. You had let Jungkook finger you in the back of the bus. 

You pushed back against your seat and looked around to see if anyone was looking. Everyone on the bus was still unaware and you felt like you can breathe again. "Holy shit I can not believe we just did that," you brushed your hair back, somewhat disappointed at yourself for not stopping him.

Jungkook's smile surfaced. "I can't believe you just let me do that. Wanna return the favor?" he asks jokingly but watched your face to see if you were willing to suck him off. His hopes are put down when a frown appeared on your face and he could tell you wouldn't feel comfortable with that. "Joking babe."

"Don't call me that, please," you stressed. "This was a mistake, seriously don't ever speak of this with any of your friends. We're not going to speak of it either."

"I wasn't even going to," he muttered and looked away. "Funny how it's a mistake, Y/N, when you were over here telling me to keep going."

You fanned yourself, flapping your hand back and forth in front of your face. Jungkook looked at the layer of sweat near your hairline that glistened under the sunlight. "Stop, it was in the heat of the moment. It seriously was a mistake," he opened his mouth but you carried on. "Especially in the back of the bus, oh god, I'm really disappointed in myself," you zipped up your flare pants, not minding that your underwear is sticking to you.

"And I'm really disappointed in you too, for not giving me a chance," Jungkook said with knitted eyebrows. You sit away from him, making sure there was a good amount of space between the two of you. "Oh are you just going to ignore me now?" he isn't given a response, your tongue knotted together in your mouth. "So that's how it's gonna be now?"

You gathered your bag. The bus curving towards the upcoming bus stop. "This is my stop," you disclosed. He captured your forearm which quickly caught your attention.

"Don't be like this, Y/N." You shrug him off and walked out of the bus, leaving Jungkook and his gloomy thoughts behind.

"Shut up, stop playing with me!" Hayoon exclaimed, her eyes glimmered with interest as you filled her in on the day before. "You did not let Jungkook finger you on the back of the bus," she laughed out loud at her sentence, still not believing the words coming out of your mouth. You groaned and sunk your head back down on the table. "I mean gross, but hey, you're catching dick."

"I'm not catching dick, and stop saying it's gross it makes me even more disappointed in myself."

"I just don't understand how you can tell him you don't want him and tell him the reasons why and then let him finger you at the back of the bus?!" your face scrunched up at her words. "I seriously don't get it Y/N. It's like you're provoking the guy that's going after you and that's pretty fucked up. Play with his dick, not his emotions, oh wait—”

"I told him no multiple times."

"Then why the fuck would you let him finger you in the back of a bus?" Hayoon rubbed her temple before munching on a fry. "I think you do have a crush on him, you just don't want to date him because of all the girls he’s been with.”

You let her words settle in your mind for a moment, not even realizing that she held your hand in hers. "But baby, that's called the past. It's the least thing you got to worry about since you already know it. Take a risk, go out with him. He's ready to be in a serious relationship with you, he's been telling me this since Friday."

You sighed, lips forming a pout. "I don't know."

"Well make up your mind quick cause' he's coming this way," her words are rushed as she glanced over at Jungkook, who's heading over your way.

"What?!" you're just about to turn your head his direction when Hayoon grabbed your jaw.

"What are you doing you stupid bitch?! Don't look—okay, pretend like I'm not here, pretend like I'm not here!" she turned away from you and placed her earbuds in her ears.

"Wait does my hair look good?!" you caught her by the arm before she can leave.

"For who?"

You snapped her head towards Jungkook, who's already smiling at you. His black cap floated over his eyes as he dug his fingers into the pockets of his jogger pants. You coughed when you perceived that you were checking him out. "Um, no one. Just wanted to see if it's messy," you don't know why but your cheeks burned so hard, maybe at the fact that you know it is messy.

His hand came in contact with your head before he moved a strand of your hair that looked out of place before pushing your baby hairs down. You swatted his hands away, ignoring how your warm ears were tingling. "There, it's not that messy anymore. I brought something."

He sat down besides you. You eyes fluttered over to Hayoon. She spread a smirk out on her lips. While Jungkook continued finding the item he wanted to show you, something along the words that it was a jar. Her fist comes up besides her mouth, opening it slightly. Your cheeks become crimson when she began to push her left fist towards her mouth while her tongue kept knocking into her right cheek.

"Here," Jungkook placed a jar in front of you, the bright glittery letters mocking you. Swear Jar, it read at the front. "Every time you cuss, it's more money to my bank account."

Your lips loop downwards into a frown. Your eyebrows furrowed together in the progress. "Not fair, I told you I didn't want to be a sugar mama."

"Fine, this is both of our swear jar."

"Deal."

"Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can talk about yesterday," he put the glittery jar, he decorated last night for you, back in his backpack. A sudden weight pressed down on your shoulders at the thought of him bringing up what happened yesterday.

"Jesus Christ, what do you carry in there?" Hayoon added unintentionally and you're thankful for that. As much as she wanted to know about the encounter between the two of you, she also wanted to know what Jungkook carried in that big bag of his.

"Dildos."

"Wait, deadass?" she jumped up in her seat. I snorted at her, earning a glare. Jungkook's lips formed a line, specifying that he was joking. "Well fuck, it just looks like it's gonna break your back. Dude you know what that reminds me of?" she asked you. Your mind doesn't come across anything so you shook your head. "The Rosie girl? She was giving dildos out at this campus cause' she wanted to, quote, fight absurdity with absurdity. All over Twitter. Wish I could be there to get one."

Jungkook's eyes crinkled up as he laughed at her. The sound ringing through your ears, only to devaste you even more. "Can we talk about yesterday?" he leaned over and whispered to you.

You swore you felt his lips brushing against your ear. It stirred up your brain. "What about yesterday?" your hands started shaking and you hoped he didn't see how anxious you have become.

Luck wasn't on your side today however, his upcoming question boosting your anxiety even more. "Why are your hands shaking so much?" he grasped his bigger hand in yours.

You are quick to take it out of his. "We agreed that we wouldn't talk about what happened yesterday. It was a mistake I didn't—"

"No, you agreed that we wouldn't talk about it," his voice raised slightly to get your attention. Your mouth snapped shut. "We need to talk about it. How the fuck can you be playing with my feelings like this?" Hayoon whistled, mentally seeing eye to eye with Jungkook. "I want to have a chance with you, a shot at us. You give me all these mixed signals and then when I try to make a move on you, all of the sudden you act like a bitch Y/N."

"Well what do you want me to say? That I fucking like you back too?" you challenged and stood up from your chair. The students around you turned their heads over to you, watching the scene in front of them unfold. "How the fuck am I even playing with your feelings? I said I wanted to just be friends! I'm sorry that you're misinterpreted our friendship but that's not my problem!" you wished you could've shut your mouth but all you could see was red. Perhaps you were letting go of all the rage you’ve ever resented over him for the past months.

For ditching you to attend parties or being with other girls. For not always being there for you.

"What the fuck do you mean that's not my problem?!" he mimicked you, staring up at you. "You let me finger you and you expect me to believe that you just wanna be friends? Are you even listening to yourself?! You felt something back there."

Hayoon stepped in, walking over to the two of you. "Okay, I think you guys should just shut up," your eyes wandered around the room, where everyone was watching your interaction.

"Whatever," Jungkook's chair scraped the floor harshly as he pushed it back. He dug into his backpack before placing the jar in front of you. "You can keep that and this," he put down a package full of glittery hair pins, all different colors. Your heart wrenched as you watched him walk away, sullen. His steps are quick so he can take the attention off of him.

You turned the jar and saw that the top had words on it. Splattered in messy pink glitter, Sugar Mama's Swear Jar :D.

Jungkook was avoiding you. You could tell because he stopped coming after school to study with you, which was okay at first until you found yourself yearning for him.

It was stupid, really. After all that debate on how you two should just stay friends, you can't just tell him how much you miss him. That'll make you seem like an ass.

And trust me that's the last thing you want.

Your day was going bad, your professor yelled at you for not paying attention and put you in the spot, embarrassing you in front of the class. You were okay until a girl gave you a look of pity and you had a breakdown in the bathroom right after.

When you went to go meet up with Hayoon, it'll only got worse. She cancelled on you after forcing you to wait for her for thirty minutes. Just as you're leaving a group of middle schoolers thought it would be funny to step on a ketchup packet and let splatter everywhere, resulting in the back of your white top covered in dots of ketchup.

You swore you almost hit the kid who came up with it, even thought about running him over when you saw that the stains were everywhere and even in your hair.

After showering and getting the ketchup out of your hair, you went to work that ensued in you coming home with mascara practically running down your eyes, that were ready to pour out tears if something else happened to you, due to you wrongly mixing up orders and getting yelled out by a customer.

Now here you were, sitting on the living room floor with wet hair after taking another shower which mainly just involved you sitting on the tile floor and crying. You ate the Chinese takeout you have gotten during the way, ignoring the way people were staring at you, with sympathy.

It was the last thing you needed. Maybe karma was coming to get you for saying those things to Jungkook. But at this point all you wanted was some reassurance, a shoulder to cry on, someone to be there for you.

Jungkook.

You couldn't sleep. No matter how hard you tried you just couldn't. Hell, you even closed your eyes for a solid thirty minutes yet you were not able to drift off into slumber. Maybe it had to due with the weather? It was freezing, if you stepped a foot outside you would become an ice sculpture in an instant.

Or maybe, the most logical one compared to all the others, was Jungkook fingering you on the bus. You can't seem to get that scene off your mind. Your brain kept drifting over on how stunning he appeared, his dark eyes staring straight at yours as he watched your mouth form an O shape. He only ever broke eye contact when he snuck a look of how his fingers vanished into your pants.

Then your mind would stumble onto the memory of you yelling at him, telling him how his feelings for you were not your fault. You despised yourself at that moment. You sighed and laid back into your pillow, staring up into the ceiling. "I can't believe I am even having these types of thoughts," you slowly opened your legs while shutting your eyes. As long as you don't think about him, it'll be okay.

But you do. Sliding off your underwear, the first thing you thought about was Jungkook. His bunny smile rested on his face. You opened your eyes to get him off your mind and closed them again. You let out a gentle moan when you feel how wet you are.

He came back again. This time he settled right besides you on the bed. His hand is shoved between your legs. You moaned when he buried his head in your neck and kissed your skin there. "You like that, princess?"

You frowned immediately, he didn't call you any pet names. From what you can remember, he called you a degrading name.

"You like that dirty slut?" you mewled at him. He moved his fingers ceaselessly inside of you whilst breathing down your neck.

The sound of a zipper being undone makes your eyes crack open. You took a glimpse of Jungkook, his hand disappearing inside his jeans that displayed his muscular thighs.

You whined at him and he hovered on top of you. Your breathing got heavier as his cock sprung out of his jeans. "Oh god," you moaned as he slid himself inside of you so effortlessly. Your hands moved quicker inside of you. Feeling your wetness spill out of you and onto the mattress underneath you, you imagined him pounding into you. Your hands clamped on his long hair with your legs in the air as his hips furiously snapping into you.

It doesn't take you long to cum, given the fact at Jungkook's pace it seemed like he wasn't going to stop. He disappeared, leaving you sweaty and tired on the bed with your fingers stuck inside you. "Holy shit, I can not believe I just did that.

Recalling your words that were thrown at Jungkook, a heavy weight on your shoulder returned heavier as ever, reminding you how you practically lost your shot with him.

Shame on you for not giving Jeon Jungkook a chance.

"I think I was too harsh on him."

"You think? Don't lie to me bitch, you know you were fucking harsh on him," Hayoon stood in the middle of your room, scanning your closet for a dress she can wear to a party.

It was almost three days since your argument with Jungkook in front of everyone. You expected to make up with him on Thursday but Jungkook avoided you like you were the plague. He didn't text you for any notes he needed to borrow, nor did he usually come to study with you or leave you a sandwich. You never realized how apart of your life he became, especially when he didn't sit next to you for one of your shared classes. Instead, he chose to sit next to Taehyung, his best friend. It was Friday now and to be quite honest, you missed him.

"Don't trip about it. He could be at the party tonight, getting over you and possibly getting himself a girlfriend so you don't have to worry about him pinning over you. Now what the fuck should I wear?"

You didn't like the sound of that. Jungkook possibly finding another girl. Your consciousness settled back in your mind. How can you even say shit like that? You rejected him, you have no right to tell him not to move on. You sighed to yourself and laid back into the bed. "Maybe I shouldn't go. I don't wanna see him."

"I don't wanna see him." she dragged the straps of your orange dress up her figure. "Shut up because on Wednesday you kept asking why he wouldn't talk to you, like bitch I wouldn't talk to you either with that shit you pulled back there."

"Why not?"

"You're not serious right?" she turned back to you. She raised her eyebrow, challenging you. You groaned and followed her out of the room when she didn't receive an answer. "That's what I thought," you heard her under her breath.

"Not gonna lie, I think I'm gonna break my ankle with these bitches," you pointed down at your high heels, slowing down. You stopped to fix them. Hayoon carried on walking to her car, leaving you behind.

"You wanted to wear them. Now get in," she honked her horn. You hissed at her, reminding her that the neighbors are going to complain. "Don't give a fuck, get in loser we're going to party!" she honked her horn longer.

You ran to her car when you realized she wasn't going to stop. "You need the swear jar, you stupid bitch."

"Not even," before you could say something back, her music blasts through the car. She screamed out the lyrics, encouraging you to join along. "In your eyes! You lie but I don't let it define you—oh define you!"

"You sound like a dying cat."

"I tried to find—fuck you then."

Along the way you started to wonder how she even got her driver's license. Hayoon almost went on the sidewalk when she was tried to park which forced you to get out of the car and direct her.

"Keep going, keep going."

"Fuck, bitch you sure? I don't want another ticket for being on the red line," her head stuck out to make sure she wasn't going to hit the car behind her.

"Yes I'm sure—okay stop!" Hayoon shuts off the engine, stumbling out of the car. She laughed to herself before walking up to the fraternity house with you. "Okay, I forgot what it was like coming here."

The first smell that filled your nostrils was vomit. You glanced down towards the ground and saw a distraught girl on the front lawn throwing up while her friend rubbed her back. Hayoon advised you not to look, to give the poor girl some pity. Reluctantly, you entered the house with a clumsy walk. Hayoon noticed and suggested that you go have a drink. You at first declined but once your eyes scanned the room and landed on Jungkook leaning against a wall with a redhead clinging onto him. You made your way to the open kitchen. Unknown to you, jealousy boiled in your stomach.

So that's how you end up on your first shot of a tequila with a cup of vodka already resting in your liver. You weren't drunk, still you were not far from being tipsy. Conscious enough to see that Jungkook's eyes were on you while you downed the shot. Eyes focused on your throat as you swallowed. He exhaled, watching you pull out your phone and tap away. The red head girl right besides him, tried calling his name out to hook his attention. He brushed her off, muttering something to her that he didn't sleep around anymore.

His frustration grew even more when he saw you wandering over to the middle of the room where sweaty bodies were grinding on each other. Your flimsy black silky dress was not doing him justice either, seeing how tight it was on your figure. It showed off your curves well; he hated how good you looked. There was a big opening in the back that stopped near your hips. Should be a crime to look that good, he thought to himself while trying to keep his eyes on you.

Your hips swayed to the music blasting throughout the house. You opened your eyes, landing on Jungkook immediately. His eyes devouring you as he took a sip of his beer, eyes locked on your hips. You tried not to look at him again but still wondered what was going in that mind of his. You raised your hands up in the air, dress threatening to rise up.

Your curiosity got the best of you. Squinting one eye open to take a peek of Jungkook but you failed to locate him.

A gasp left your mouth as someone pressed their front on your back, rubbing their crotch on your ass. A whiff of the sweet scented Victoria Secret perfume gave the identity away. You tilted your head so that it laid on his chest. Confirming your thought, Jungkook stared down at you with dark eyes. His arm muffled around your waist to press you further into his chest. He felt his body go ease when he saw your lips bunch up into a smile. Your hips rocked from side to side on him. Jungkook held his hand on your waist, encouraging you to continue. You willingly do so arms flinging on his neck as you dragged yourself down his chest. His growing bulge poked your ass as you grind yourself on him. Your head laid back on him. Jungkook leaned down to meet your lips. His mouth entwined with yours, lip gloss rubbing off onto his mouth. You moaned into his mouth and sensed that his hand was harshly holding one of your ass cheeks.

"You wanna go upstairs?" He was somewhat taken back at your suggestion but agreed nonetheless. With his fingers keeping a firm grip on yours, the two of you went upstairs.

He guided you towards the room, which all winded up preoccupied due to freshman trying to lose their virginities. You cringed when you come face to face with someone's bare ass pushing against the lanky girl. Jungkook pushed you into the bathroom, telling a man to fuck off when he tried getting in.

"Hey," you glanced up from the floor onto Jungkook's eyes. He offered you a small awkward smile, warming your heart as if he wasn't rubbing his dick on your ass a few minutes ago.

"Hi," your voice sounded very small and Jungkook wanted to reach out and reassure you that he only came up to you to apologize, not to have you grind on him in the middle of the room. "I'm sorry," you began, eyes fixed to the ground. "Everything I said on that day was really fucked up. I care about your feelings. I care about you and I was giving you mixed signals and it's not okay."

"I'll be fine," his hand held your arm, rubbing it slightly. "It's okay if you don't return my feelings, I'll get over it—"

"But that's the thing I don't want you to get over it."

Jungkook blinked once, twice, and then another third time. Trying to comprehend your words while also trying to figure out what he was going to say was hard.

Your glossy lips moved. "I'm really willing to give you a chance and I'm so sorry for being such a cunt about it. I just—I needed some realization to understand my feelings. Truth is I've had a crush on you, but every time I saw you with these girls I always told myself I'm not good enough for you and that I'll never be. I’m also mad at the fact that you’re barely realizing your feelings towards me just now.”

He doesn't say anything which doesn't help your anxious state at the moment. Your gut scolded you, reminding you that you probably lost your chance and now you look like an idiot to him right now, confessing your feelings.

Jungkook sighed before embracing you. You stand still in shock from his sudden movements but chose to hug him back. His chin dropped down onto your head. "You're good enough for me, Y/N. You always have been and I'm sorry that it took me all these years for me to realize that."

"I couldn't stop thinking of you and all the shit I said. I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart," you admitted.

His bulge pushed against you and your cheeks flushed warm. Jungkook didn't say anything but bent down to kiss you. His lips moved roughly against yours. Your fingers coming up towards his hair to run through them. His hands digging harshly into your ass, possibly leaving small bruises behind but you're unbothered by it.

You pulled away, enough to stare up at his eyes. "I seriously couldn't stop thinking about you. I fucking masturbated to you, just by thinking of the bus shit," you confessed, watching his face lit up in surprise.

"Yeah? What was going on in that head of yours?" he encouraged you. You giggled at him, his thigh coming between your thighs.

"Your fingers in my pussy," your cheeks burned pink as he coaxed you to go on. "Your big dick pounding in me."

The look on his face is priceless but it just stayed there for a mere second as Jungkook recollected himself. He couldn't believe what was coming out of your mouth, never in a million years would he ever imagine you of all people saying this. The warmth travelled towards his crotch as he hardened at your words. His friend of seven years, his crush for almost two years was here in front of him, revealing that she touched herself to the thought of him. A blissful comfort spread all over his body.

"Don't you want that to happen?" he didn't even realize how close you were, he was too caught up in his thoughts. "You don't want to fuck my brains out?"

Your thighs closed around his thick ones. You reached up to kiss his neck, pecking his soft skin. Jungkook grunted as you left open mouth kisses behind, gripping his hand and directing it near your hips.

"I can't do it here," Jungkook whispered to you once he grasped the circumstances. In a fraternity bathroom with people out there that can possibly hear you two? Jungkook would never allow himself to touch you here the first time you two have sex. You whined against him, rubbing your crotch on his thigh. "Shit, seriously Y/N? You're making this hard for me."

"What your dick? Why? I don't care where we do it. I just—I need it to happen—come on Jungkook fuck me," if your mind wasn't clouded by lust you would been very disappointed at yourself for what you were saying, but you could care less. He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. He was fighting with himself.

The only sound in the bathroom was the loud heavy bass music playing and the two of you heavily breathing. "Do you want me to go find another guy out there that can do the job for you or what?" you tried riling him up and it worked cause Jungkook was staring at you with dark hooded eyes. "Cause' I could walk out there and take any guy home with me do you want that?" you both know deep down you wouldn’t be able to do that. You’re too shy.

Jungkook came across as if something possessed him suddenly. His hair falling over his eyes slightly. His tongue came out of his mouth to moisten his lips. "Get on your fucking knees," Jungkook snapped, a hand going back to get tangled in your hair. You dropped down to the ground. "I wanna see your pretty tits," you pulled down the straps of your dress and got rid of your strapless bra, throwing it aside. "Well aren't you a desperate cock sucking whore?" you whined at him with your dress bunched up around your waist. "What don't tell me you like being called that?" he chuckled. Your cheeks flushed in humiliation.

You reached over to unzip his jeans. He merely let out a chuckle, extremely satisfied with your avidity. As you rolled down his boxers, his hand wrapped around your hair. "Look up at me, whore," your eyes jerked up to him. "Open your mouth," you gulped at the size, wondering if it was even going to fit in your poor mouth. He teased, rubbing the head of his cock on your lips when you did. Your jaw ached as you tried opening as wide as you can to please him. You looked up at him as he slid his cock in your mouth. He groaned, loving the warmth and wetness of your mouth surrounding him. He maintained the eye contact between you two whilst he carried on shoving his dick in your throat. You moaned and moved back once it hit your throat. But before you can, he gripped the back of your hair firmly and thrusted his hips forward. You gagged around him, tears brewing and ready to burst out. You extended your hands out to his thighs. He held your head in place, his cock shoving down your throat at an animalistic speed. "What a good little slut," he eventually praised you. "Letting me fuck her throat hard and shit," you shut your eyes.

You regret doing so. Feeling a tug to your hair, your eyes snap open and look up. "You get praised like a good bitch once and you think you can be a bad girl? I don't think so, whore," he stared straight into your eyes with his dark orbs devouring you. Your drool slithering down your chin. You peer up at him with desperation written all over your face. Your fingers glided down to your dress. You kept your gaze on him when your fingers entered your pussy, feeling how wet you are. "Are you seriously touching yourself?" he sounded thrilled at the idea. Jungkook stopped moving for a second, allowing you to suck on the head of his cock. He watched mascara run down your cheeks, feeling some sort of ego boost that he was making you look this way.

You nodded frantically, moving your fingers faster. You sucked him harder, your jaw throbbing as you attempted to deep throat him. He forced your head deeper so that your nose was touching his pubic hair. "I didn't give you permission, disobedient slut. You got three seconds to finish," he finished with a sullen laugh, knowing you weren't. "One, two–" Jungkook watched your eyes become watery as you hopelessly tried to get yourself to cum in just three seconds. "—three, take your fingers out whore."

You obeyed and showed him your fingers, glittering under the bathroom light, even though on the inside you were begging to be touched again. You thought of going against him. Jungkook let a cackle escape from his mouth. "Fuck, you're so fucking wet I bet you're fucking leaking out onto the floor."

You mewled, bobbing your head up and down. Releasing his cock out of your mouth with a lewd pop, you batted your eyelashes up at him. "I'm so fucking wet for you," he flashed you a quick grin, obviously content with your answer. He brought your fingers up to his mouth, sucking them off while maintaining eye contact with you. His tongue swirled around your finger as you repeat the same motion on his cock. He released your finger.

"You can use your hands," you pull away right after he said that. You pumped him rapidly, your hand moving back and forth. Your ears took in his grunts, feeling some pride for causing him to make those noises. He almost came when he felt your warm, wet mouth around one of his balls.

"I want you to cum on my tits." he agreed, staring down at you. Tension builds within his stomach as he groaned out loud. You gaped at him when his cum shoots towards your neck, aiming towards your breasts.

Jungkook's breathing became heavier as he came back down from his blissful state that he was in. He grew hard in a instant when he saw how fucked you looked. Your mascara running down your eyes, leaving a trail of black ink behind. Your hair was tangled together into a mess due to him gripping it so tightly. With saliva dripping down your red swollen smeared lips, his eyes drifted further down. The straps of the dress you were wearing were rolled out into your stomach, exhibiting your perky breasts that are smeared with his cum.

"You look like a fucked whore," he smiled at you with satisfaction resting in his mind.

You giggled at him, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Yeah, not just for you," you gazed up at him, a small smile on your lips.

He helped you get off the floor. His facial expression is now serious, indicating that he wasn't happy with your answer. Jungkook's fingers tapped the cold surface of the sink, indicating to sit down on it. You do so, opening your legs slowly.

He watched, eyes strictly locked in between your legs. "Who are you so wet for?" he asked.

You snorted and shrugged which only grew him more frustrated.

Jungkook growled and flipped you over. He bended you over the bathroom sink and bore his eyes into you by the mirror. "You wanna keep acting like a slut, you're might as well be fucked like one," you silently squealed in excitement. Jungkook lifted your dress up in one go. He pulled your underwear down, making you step out of them. "Put your leg on the counter," he commanded and you do as you're told. Lifting your right leg on the counter while the other one remained on the ground. You heard him frantically pull down his jeans. You gasped when you feel the tip on your entrance. He reached over for the condom on the counter.

"No!" you exclaimed. Jungkook stopped and looked down at your worriedly, wondering if you wanted to stop now. You gulped, feeling your cheeks burned in embarrassment. "Don't use one please." you whined. "I want to feel you raw."

You heard Jungkook chuckle from behind you. He felt like he was on cloud nine, he was fucking thriving. "Yeah? My fucking slut wants me to do her raw?" he started pushing himself. You held your breath as your walls allowed him to enter, tightening around his big shaft. His cock rimmed inside of you

"Y-yeah," you manage to choke out, staring at him through the mirror. He maintained eye contact to where your bodies connected, watching his cock sink into you as he held your hips in place. 

"Has any other guy fucked you raw, slut?" Jungkook brought his hand around your throat. You sensed that you could orgasm right there. You shook your head as he finally is inside of you fully. "What was that? Use your words, come on you're a big girl," he gripped your inner right thigh with so much strength, he could break it off if he tried. I mean those biceps.

"N-no only you. Just for you," he grinned at that.

"Good," you let out a loud moan when he started finally moving. His hips rutted into yours at an animalistic speed. He stared at you through the mirror, watching how your mouth opens and your breasts jiggle. He pressed your throat a little harder. "Bet no guy ever made you feel this way."

"Only you, Jungkook! Only you!" you manage to breath out. Your knuckles are almost white by how hard you're holding onto the counter. He lowers himself so his face is near your ear.

"Yeah? Look at you, telling me how I'll never have you yet you're over here drooling over my dick. Fucking whore." you whined harder as he breathed down your neck. You feel yourself began getting more wetter at his words. "Imagine what your family and friends will say when they find out you're letting me fuck you in the ass in a dirty bathroom at a frat party."

You shut your eyes, your pussy swallowing him back in. His hand squeezed your throat a little tighter. "Fucking slut," he snapped his hips at you. You moaned out loud, shamelessly. "On the dance floor dancing like one."

"Because I am one," he chuckled at that, fingers coming up to pinch your nipple.

"Yeah? Who do you belong to? Whose slut are you?" the grip on your throat tightened, not enough to block your airway however. Jungkook kept his eye on you through the mirror, your lips molding into an oval shape. His palm came down to meet one of your asscheeks. You jumped forward, Jungkook pulling you back onto his cock. He stopped moving to lock eyes with you through the mirror, his lips hovering over your ear. "When I ask you a question, I expect a fucking answer," you tried to move your hips a bit but he caught you before you can. "Now," his voice deepened. "Whose slut are you?"

"Your slut! I'm your slut! Jungkook, please—"

"Yeah? Scream when I fuck you so that everyone knows who your pussy belongs to," his hips rammed into you again. You swore you can feel him fucking into your cervix. You let a loud moan break free from your mouth, his hot breath fanned your ear.

A roaring pounding on the door snapped his head away. You whimpered and become aware that his pace was reducing as his attention was now on the other man trying to get in. Jungkook yelled out words that sounded fuzzy to your ears considering all you could hear is your heartbeat.

"No, no, Jungkook don't stop," you pleaded with him, twisting yourself to look at his lust filled eyes. "I'm almost there please!"

You almost screamed at him when he pulled out. He sat on the toilet lid, tapping his thighs that were spread out in front of him. "Ride me," he demanded. You're somehow quick on your wobbly legs, getting on top of him. You grasped his swollen red cock, lining it up with your entrance before sinking down.

Jungkook's hand went towards your hip to support you while the other one went further down to touch your swollen clit. His mouth came near your ear as you cried out his name. "If you don't come in the next minute, you're not cumming tonight, got it slut?" you panted but nonetheless nodded frantically.

And with that Jungkook sat back, watching you fuck yourself on his cock, you were basically using him as a toy and Jungkook loved that. The desperation look on your face was amusing and Jungkook stored in in his memories.

"Oh shit! Fuck I'm almost there," his palm travelled further down to rub your ass.

"Time's almost up," he wasn't actually keeping track but your determination to cum on such a short amount of time was adorable to him. Your thighs smacked his, bouncing on his cock faster. Jungkook's finger carried on rubbing against your clit, his eyes trailing down from your face to your bouncing breasts.

Your eyes rolled back as you heaved up. Your mouth opened wide, feeling your orgasm wash over you. Jungkook heard his name leave your mouth, panting. He almost came when he felt something warm soak into his jeans. Looking down, he became aware of what just happened.

"Fucking dirty slut," he hissed and allowed you to relax your head on his shoulder as your whole weight sunk down on him. His ears took in your sniffles. "Look what you did, squirted all over me slut."

Your cheeks burned in humiliation, nuzzling your nose into his shoulder.

You gasped when he lifted his hips up to meet yours. You cried out to him to stop but Jungkook's quick to silence you with his fingers stuffed in your mouth. Your tears threatened to spill. "You're so tight, fuck! Need to fuck you more, whore,"

It doesn't take long for him to sprout into you, judging the way you tightened around him and how fucked your face look when he looked down to meet your eyes. With his cum coating your walls, he slid out of you. A bit of cum came out and dropped down to his black pants leaving a white stain behind.

You attempted to stand out on your own but failed due to you not being able to feel your legs for a second. Luckily, Jungkook is there to help you. He bent down to help you put on your underwear.

"Are you on birth control?" he asked while zipping up his pants. You checked your face in the mirror, noticing the hickeys all over your neck and the mascara smothered down your cheeks.

You turned to look at him, pulling your dress down."Are you really asking me after we just had sex? Where's my bra by the way?" your face is met with your bra when he flung it at you.

He laughed, watching you put it on. "Yeah, seriously though are you?"

"Why? If I'm going to be your sugar mama I might as well be your baby mama." Jungkook looked stricken and you snickered, bringing your hand up to hide your mouth. "I'm joking," you wiped your face with some wet wipes you found in the drawers.

"Not funny, was ready to fucking make a run for it."

It was your turn to look stricken as Jungkook laughed. You frowned and slapped his chest.

It goes quiet, the loud bass music now coming back to fill your ears instead of Jungkook's moans. He stood awkwardly near the corner while you threw away the wipes you used to remove your makeup. Running your fingers through your hair, you turned towards him.

"So, does this mean that you're going to give me a chance?" the man in front of you standing like an anime character asked, as if he wasn't calling you degrading names a few minutes ago.

You smiled at him and lunged forward to kiss him. "Yes, I'll give you a chance Jungkook."

↳ in your heart; drabble collection

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #fratboy jungkook #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff

[mrs-hollandstan]

Make Me Love You || Frat Boy!Tom [epilogue]

Warnings: sexual comments, pregnancy and children, marriage and weddings, just cuteness, mentions of IVF, mentions of parental issues, language, mentions of marital issues, mentions of fuckboy!Tommo

Word Count: 7,996

Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for those that have stuck with me through all of this. It's been a journey and I'm so grateful for those that stayed for the whole thing. This series has been such an important part of my life and writing and I don't know how I'll function without it, but I'm grateful to have finished it and gotten it out there for others to enjoy. 💖

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                                          Welcome to Our Forever

                                               Thomas & Y/F/N 

                                                August 5, 2023 

White roses and eucalyptus line the wooden board announcing your wedding to the man of your dreams. Maybe not the best decision to have a summer wedding, but Harrison and Ivey had only wed some three months before, and you refused to take away her shine. As it was, when she sat beside you in her auburn colored dress to have her hair and makeup done, she was glowing, reminiscing on her big day with a brand new wedding band to go with her engagement/wedding ring, and a new ID showcasing the Ivey Eleanor Osterfield namesake. 

It wasn't necessarily the first time you four girls had been together since graduation, but the time that you spent together had dwindled since going out into the real world. Phoebe was making bank as an emergency room nurse at UW Emergency just off campus and she and Keaton had started living together in University District. Cole had moved Scarlett into his apartment once Keaton had moved out and she's been working as a financial analyst the past two years. He'd mentioned proposing to her, but hadn't officially done so yet. Ivey and Harrison were living in an apartment not far from you and Tom, Harrison working at the Seattle Art Museum, and not too far from him, Ivey was working as an editor in downtown Seattle. Still, after two years, the four of you were meeting up for date night often, you and Ivey mostly discussing wedding plans and crazy stories from your day, while the boys talked sports and alcohol. 

Since graduation, you and Tom had adopted a little gray pitbull from a local shelter, similar to Tessa, whom you named Rosir. With the help of your dad and the first few paychecks from your therapy office, you were able to purchase a car, a Subaru Crosstrek, which you and Tom used for weekend getaways and vacations. He'd even taken the time to revisit the same house he and the group stayed in in Oregon two springs ago with you. 

"You remember how you told me you wanted something like Ivey and Harrison that night shit went to hell?" He had asked you as you lay in bed one night, bare chests pressed together and Rosie laying just off to your side on the floor, squeaking her toy. You had hummed and nodded, leaning on his chest, 

"I regret that." 

"Don't say that. I just hope that it's been better than what they have. I've tried to make you happy." You smiled up at him and nodded, 

"I've never been happier than I am now." You had reassured him. He'd smiled and leaned in to kiss you. You'd discussed the shitshow that was the last two years of your relationship and how now, you couldn't see being with anyone else and you were convinced that your kids wouldn't have what you did, with a fractured family. Most of Tom's wounds had healed and he was focused on you, his career path, and your future. You were putting everything that had happened in the past behind you for the better now, focusing on your wedding, your marriage, the future. 

"You nervous?" Phoebe asks as an artist drags a brush with eyeshadow across her lids. You shrug as you're drawn from your haze, 

"Less nervous about marrying him than I am about graduation." You admit. She smiles, 

"I'm in love with you two. He's fucking lucky to have you." She murmurs, closing her eyes again. Ivey sighs, 

"I think you've beaten me out at being the most gorgeous on your wedding day." 

"No, don't say that. You were absolutely stunning." 

"Yeah, but are you seeing yourself? Tom is going to lose his shit." She explains. You smile, staring at yourself in the mirror as your makeup artist brushes blush along your cheeks. You giggle, 

"Okay, fine, I do look hot." You murmur. The three of you laugh along before Scarlett sighs and moves into the room, 

"Your dad and Cole are fighting again." You roll your eyes, 

"I almost just wish they hadn't tried to reconcile." You tell her. She smiles, 

"I mean... at least they're trying for you and all of our future kids." She reasons. You sigh, 

"Yeah, I guess." She sits behind the three of you, waiting until you're all finished before she helps you slide into the a-line dress you'd chosen, the girls gasping, 

"Oh Y/N, you look gorgeous." Ivey says. Phoebe and Scarlett agree and when Nikki enters the room, she gasps and covers her mouth, tears springing into her eyes, 

"Oh Y/N darling..." She mumbles. You smile, taking her hands when she approaches, 

"Do you think he'll like it?" You ask her about her son. She nods, sniffling softly, 

"Oh I think you could wear a burlap bag and he'd think you were exquisite, but this..." She nods, "he'll absolutely love you in this." She assures. You smile, 

"Great. You look amazing yourself." You tell her, looking her over in her maroon colored mother-in-law dress, 

"Well thank you sweetheart." She murmurs, a dusting of red coating her cheeks. She clears her throat, 

"I uhm, I have something for you." She says. It's only then that you notice the worn black box in her hands. You follow her to the small couch, sitting just beside her before she opens the box and reveals an old pearl necklace, "My grandmother got this as a gift and it's been passed down through our family. My mother wore it on her wedding day, I wore it on my wedding day. If you'd like... I want you to have it, wear it today and any day in the future as my first daughter-in-law." She tells you. You stare at it, mouth agape, 

"Oh gosh... Nikki... are you sure?" She nods immediately, 

"Of course. They're to be passed down. Hopefully you get a daughter to do the same to and the tradition can continue in our family." She tells you. You dab at your eyes with a tissue, 

"Thank you so much. It's beautiful." You tell her, moving forward to hug her. She hugs you back, kissing your cheek softly. She helps you latch it around your neck and by then, the girls are completely ready, 

"It's time Y/N/N." Ivey tells you with a cock of her head. You take a deep breath, 

"Gosh... really?" She shoots you a sympathetic smile and nods, 

"Fortunately." She tells you. You allow Nikki to fasten your veil into your hair and hand you your bouquet, the girls each collecting theirs before you stand before the full length mirror, staring at yourself. You take a deep breath, 

"The next time I step foot into this room, I will be Mrs. Tom Holland." You murmur more to yourself more than anyone. You watch Ivey smile in the mirror before you turn to them and nod, 

"Okay, I think I'm ready." You tell them. They each nod before leading you from the room, walking the short distance to where the boys are waiting at the end of the hall. Tom had more groomsmen than you had bridesmaids, but you didn't really care. Three of his seven groomsmen were walking alone, his brothers leading the pack down the aisle together. You honestly thought it was cute. Cole maneuvered his way over to you to kiss your cheek as your father appeared, 

"You look beautiful." He tells you. You smile, glancing up at your dad, 

"Thanks Cole." 

"You know mom would be more than proud of you." He reminds you. You nod, indicating to the veil, 

"And she's with me." When your dad had offered up the diamond encrusted lacy material your mother had bought for her own special day, you sobbed and agreed without a second thought. It was such a simple yet meaningful gesture, especially coming from your dad and you haven't thought twice about it since. Cole's eyes are glistening as he nods and Scarlett slips her hand in his bicep. 

Sam, Harry, and Paddy are the first down the aisle together, Tom's smile wide when he sees them. Ivey and Harrison are the first couple down the aisle with her as your matron of honor. Scarlett and Cole are next with her being your maid of honor, but you told Phoebe she was also your maid of honor. You weren't letting her feel left out in this situation. Gil was last down the aisle, helping your flower girl and ring bearer, both younger cousins of yours, down to their respective sides. You take a deep breath as you watch Tom stand at the head of the aisle, nervously swaying side to side, hands clasped in front of him. Your father flexes his bicep to imitate a squeeze, 

"Don't pass out on me. At least let me get you to him." He jokes. You smile, 

"Course not. But... this is the last time your little girl will be a Y/L/N." You tell him. He hums, glancing down at you when you look up, 

"You'll always be a Y/L/N, but I'm okay with you being a Holland. Tom is a good man." He reminds you. You smile and nod, 

"I agree." You murmur before "Canon In D" starts, giving you your cue. You take another deep breath before your father starts the walk, and all of your guests stand. Your dad reaches out and pats your hand as you walk out into the sunlight, your videographer (thank you dad) crouching beside your fiancè to capture his reaction which is quite honestly, the sweetest, most heart touching thing you've ever seen. He reaches up to brush his tears away, pivoting from foot to foot quicker as he takes a deep breath and blinks away the flood of tears that threaten to spill. You smile up at him, walking steadily with your father until you're standing just before him. He takes a deep breath as your minister asks who gives you away. Your father replies and hands you to Tom who helps you onto the small pedestal across from him. He sniffles softly, staring down at you with so much love in his eyes. 

The ceremony progresses quickly and before you know it, you're announced as Mrs. Tom Holland. Tom smiles wide before he's wrapping an arm around your waist, the other curled up your back as he dips you, sealing your deal with a final kiss. You hold him to you, staring up into his eyes when he stands you straight before he pivots on his feet, smile as wide as it can get as you're announced as husband and wife. He gives your hand a squeeze and waves it in the air as your guests cheer and clap. 

You scurry off, holding onto Tom as he kisses you over and over again and continuously tells you how beautiful you look while your wedding party makes their way back down the aisle, your bridesmaids and his groomsmen all crowding around you with congratulations thrown your way. You flaunt the ring, and before the guests pour from your venue and towards the large brick building for the reception, Tom's family and your dad and Heidi follow your wedding party to the designated picture area. 

The pictures, you can tell, are going to be absolutely gorgeous. Harry and Nikki were both more than happy to be the wedding photographers, and absolutely denied being paid for the work. But you'd seen sneak peeks of some of the shots they'd snapped of your wedding party and you were in love. You'd finally sobbed, and Tom had let you when Nikki flashed you a photo of yours and Tom's foreheads pressed together, his hand brushing along your cheek, wedding band shown off blatantly. It hadn't hit you, how serious getting married was and now it was. 

You'd been the last to depart the area where your professional photos were taken, Nikki and Harry leaving you for a private moment to yourselves, the first in nearly two days since the boys stole him and the girls had stolen you. You'd stood in silence for a moment, admiring the scenery of the woods around you before he'd untucked a hand from his pocket and reached out for yours. You'd threaded your fingers together, 

"Has this been the wedding of your dreams so far?" He asks softly. You smile, nodding, 

"Since I was a little girl I dreamed of marrying a prince. Now I have him, and this," You gesture around you, "This is more than I could ever ask for. It's been beautiful so far and merging our families has been a dream." You tell him, taking a step closer to him. His smile widens, 

"Good." He murmurs. Standing on your toes, you lean in and kiss him. He hums, 

"Can't believe I married the girl of my dreams." He murmurs. You giggle, 

"It is all very surreal. All of the times we talked about marriage and kids and now we're here, doing it." 

"Hell yeah, I don't fuck around." He jokes. You roll your eyes, 

"But... now that we have a moment... what do you think of the dress? Your mom said I could wear a bag and you'd still think I look stunning." 

"Oh definitely, but... yes... this is absolutely gorgeous. You look stunning darling. More so than ever." He tells you, holding you at arms length to look you over. You twirl for him, the bodice of your dress flourishing around you and Tom smiles, 

"So beautiful." Dragging you back in, he leans in to kiss you, arms bound around your waist, your hands rested on his shoulders, smoothing down them. He hums, 

"We should sneak off and have married sex now." You giggle, tipping your head back which draws him in to trailing kisses down your throat, 

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try and do a quickie in this dress. You'll get lost in it." You tell him. He chuckles, 

"I believe you. You've got a lot of tulle goin on here." Nodding, your rest your hands atop his shoulders, staring up at him, 

"You've made me so happy the past four years... I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." You tell him. He smiles, 

"The feeling is so fucking mutual." He tells you, hands curled around your back. He presses his forehead to yours and sighs, 

"I promise to make you happy every day of my life. You mean the world to me." He tells you. You sway him softly, holding his waist, 

"I promise to do the same." 

"And after tonight, we'll go to Fiji and have a good time, just the two of us, and then we'll come back and try for a baby." He starts. You giggle again, 

"You have our whole lives planned out then huh?" You ask. He nods, 

"Definitely. Won't be long now before we're house hunting and moving a sweet little babe in." He murmurs in your ear. You sigh, 

"Is it bad that I kinda wanna stay in the apartment for a little while after having a baby?" You ask. His eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head, 

"No, not really. We... did talk about turning that spare into a nursery for her. We could go through with it." 

"And we're still stuck on them being a her huh? You do know I'll kill you if we have a boy first and you even think about being disappointed." You tell him. He hums, eyebrows knitting together again, 

"No, of course not, I would never. Any baby that comes from you is loved by me darling. You don't have to worry about it." He confirms. You nod, letting the silence permeate between you for a moment before you sigh, 

"We should probably be heading back. No one can do anything without us." You tell him. He chews the inside of his lip for a moment before sighing himself and nodding, 

"Yeah... let's go get a beer." Smiling, you hold your hand out for his again, lacing your fingers with his. He smiles as the prongs of your ring scrape against the pad of his finger and you give a tug of his hand to lead him up the trodden path towards your reception. Once on the concrete, leading up to the building, Tom squeezes your hand, glancing at the sign announcing you as husband and wife, 

"I cannot believe I am Mrs. Thomas Stanley Holland." You say. He chuckles again, 

"Sounds so fucking amazing." He tells you. You smile, 

"It does. I get to change my nameplate at work. Mrs. Y/N Holland. So exciting." He smiles before you round a corner and your wedding party is there, beers in hand and cheering directed your way. Tom waves his hand, cheeks flushing red and chuckles leaving his lips, 

"Stop, stop-" 

"You're a married man now Tommo!" Haz starts, 

"Yeah, what happened to the forever bachelor thing? Who are you and what have you done with our Tom?" Gil jokes. Tom rolls his eyes, 

"A beautiful girl crashed the party and roped my ass in." He admits. You smile and accept a beer from Cole, another handed to Tom, 

"Well congrats. You two make a beautiful couple. And... now you're my brother." He tells Tom, dragging him in for a hug. You smile, watching your husband and brother hug before Cole turns to you, 

"And you look beautiful Y/N/N. Mom is so so so fucking proud of you. I just know it." He tells you again. He leans in and kisses your cheek. Ivey pops up from inside the venue, 

"Alright guys. We're headed inside. Back into formation." You smile, looping your arm through Tom's. You'd chosen to have your DJ announce your wedding party, the group dancing in and once you make your way inside, it leads into your first dance. The other Holland boys lead, both sides of the families laughing at their antics. Ivey and Harrison follow, then Scarlett and Cole, and Keaton and Phoebe, finishing with Gil. Tom squeezes your hand in his arm as the DJ speaks again, 

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Tom Holland!" He cheers, the roaring from your guests loud as Tom escorts you in the door, twirling you and showing you off to your family. Your cheeks hurt from the smile you carry and Tom let's out an airy laugh as you hand your bouquet off to Ivey and he wraps you in his arms, holding your body close as the first notes of your first dance song play through the speakers, all eyes on you. But none of it matters. All that matters are the chocolate colored eyes you know every inch of. The ones you've come to love and the ones you get to stare into for the rest of your life. He's yours, and you're his, and this is what forever feels like. 

                                                          --- 

You giggle and cling to Tom as he carries you across the threshold of your suite. He gently sets you on the bed, watching you lay out beneath him, 

"So stunning." He murmurs. You roll your eyes and sit up a little to pull your veil off, 

"I see the cheesiness hasn't dissipated." 

"Well no. It'll only get worse from here. Instead of taking it as my girlfriend or fiancèe, you're taking it as my wife. Now you for sure aren't going anywhere. It's so much worse." He tells you. You giggle, kicking your heels off. He sighs, raking a hand through his hair, 

"Is it bad if I say I'm glad that part is over?" He asks with a cock of his head. You shake your own head, 

"No... it's stressful. Especially for me when there was so much for me to trip over." You tell him. He hums, 

"You did great. You looked amazing all night and you were such the little party host." 

"I'm the bride, I have to be." He sits on the bed beside you, clearing his throat, 

"Yeah, I guess." Sighing, you roll so your body is pressed into his side. He leans back on the bed on his elbow, loosening his tie, 

"It was a pretty good night. You did good on the planning love." He chides. You smile, 

"Thanks babe. I put my heart, soul, and money into this perfect day." He nods, raising his eyebrows, 

"That's for damn sure." He murmurs. You giggle, 

"I couldn't imagine any other wedding being more perfect than ours. It was really fucking beautiful." 

"To be fair, your dad paid for a lot and my parents contributed too." He reasons with a shrug, staring up at the ceiling when he moves to lay back on the bed fully. You smile, leaning in on his chest. He sighs, 

"I loved every minute of it." 

"That's all that matters. You only get one wedding and it should be perfect." 

"It was. I love you." He smiles and leans up to kiss you, 

"Love you too darling." You sit in silence for a moment before you sit up and take his hand, 

"Unzip me, I have a surprise for you." You tell him. He hums, sliding the zipper down your back and moving to lean on his elbows again as he watches you slip from the wedding dress, revealing a beautiful set of ivory colored lingerie, an intricate piece that draws Tom's eyebrows up again, 

"Well that's one hell of a surprise." 

"I had every intention of wearing blue but this is a wedding night set and I couldn't pass it up." 

"Yeah, no, you'll have all kinds of opportunities to test out different lingerie. Heaven forbid you pass up this opportunity for wedding night lingerie." He murmurs. You smile, stepping from the puddle of tulle, lace, and satin at your feet and leaning in on his knees, 

"So I assume you like it." You coo. He snorts, 

"When have I ever not liked lingerie on this sweet little body?" He asks. You giggle, 

"Never." 

"Exactly." Moving his hands onto your hips, he drags you into his lap, your lips covering his. He hums into the kiss, moving his hands up your back. Your fingers move down to unbutton his shirt. You smooth over his stomach, his hands traveling down to hold onto your hips, 

"Shall we try and figure out what's so different about married sex?" You ask him. He smiles, pulling back to look into your eyes, 

"I think that'd be quite great actually." He murmurs. You smile down at him, 

"Just think... you don't have to worry about getting me pregnant now because we're already married." He chuckles, watching you reach behind you and unclip your bra, tossing it aside. He licks his lips, 

"I'd love to know what these'll look like when you end up pregnant." He murmurs, moving to massage your breasts into his hands. You tip your head back, holding his shoulders. You slide your hands beneath his button up brushing it from his shoulders. He sighs, 

"So perfect." 

"So yours." You murmur. He chuckles, 

"You're damn right." You giggle before he's leaning back, pulling you with him. You lean on the bed over his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him, 

"I love you husband." He smiles wide, 

"I love you, wife. More than you'll ever know." You lean back in to kiss his throat, his hands skirting down to your hips until the cold metal of his wedding ring is pressing into your lower back. 

The next night, after landing in Fiji and checking into your bungalow, Tom slides down into the sand beside you. He sighs, squinting in the setting sun and holding a beer out to you. You take it, thanking him softly and sipping from it. He does the same as you look him over. He looks calm for the first time in months. His hair is flat and he's wearing a tee and a pair of cotton shorts, no shoes on. You smile when he looks at you and his eyebrows furrow, 

"What?" He asks through a laugh. You shake your head, 

"Nothing, I just love you. You look good right now." You move to lay your head over his shoulder. He takes a deep breath, laying his head over yours and reaching out to squeeze your knee, 

"Happy first night of forever." He mumbles. You squeeze his body against yours, 

"So far, so good." You tell him. He hums, 

"Can't go wrong with me." Giggling, you sip from your beer again, leaning your arm on his knee, 

"I will admit, seeing "Mr. and Mrs. Holland" on the door was a really surreal thing for me." You tell him. He smiles, moving his hand up into the light to look at the ring on his finger, 

"I've always been called Mr. Holland in a professional sense but... hearing Mrs. Holland and knowing that it's in reference to my wife and that you're finally, fully mine is like... insane." He admits in return. You nod, 

"I agree." You murmur. Nudging the neckline of his top down, you brush a finger across the hickey you'd left the night before. He smiles, 

"The markings of a spoiled little wife." 

"I really don't think I'll ever be over the whole wife thing. Like... hearing you say it blows my mind. I definitely thought I'd be your girlfriend for the rest of my life and you'd never be ready to marry me." 

"I was ready to marry you the second you came back from New York after Spring Break." 

"Liar." 

"I did. I never wanted to let you go again. I had fucked up and never wanted to risk losing you again." He explains. You smile, looping your arms under his and leaning your head on his shoulder, 

"That's truly adorable. You've still had your moments but... I have no doubt that all the growth you've done since that whole mess has helped you. Really." He nods, 

"I feel a lot better, that's for sure." He tells you, sighing. You hum, 

"I'm glad. You know... we both have to be in a good mindset to have a baby." 

"Speaking of, you are okay with having a baby like... soonish right?" He asks. You shrug, 

"Yeah, sure, why not?" 

"I just obviously wanna make sure you're comfortable and we're on the same page." He tells you as you move to lounge between his legs. You scoff, 

"Bitch I just married you. There isn't a thing you could do to make me uncomfortable. We're one now." He chuckles, laying his hands over your stomach, 

"But you would tell me if something is out of your comfort zone right?" He asks. You nod, eyebrows knitting together, 

"Course." 

"Good." Leaning your head back against his chest, you sigh, closing your eyes. He presses his lips to your temple and leaves them there, breathing you in. The setting sun provides a nice warmth, 

"I say we just never go back to America. We just run away and become permanent travelers." Tom chuckles, 

"And abandon my very expensive diploma, I think that's a dumb idea love." He tells you. You hum, 

"You could very well get a big break in Europe without the degree." You reason. He hums, 

"That'd be great to take you back to my home." 

"Well since we'll be traveling, you very well could give me a better tour of your little hometown." You confirm. He nods, 

"That sounds really good." A silence settles over you, the sound of the waves crashing being the only noise around. He reaches up and rubs over your shoulders, 

"I'm glad we're here." 

"Me too." You tell him quickly. He smiles, 

"I'm really glad you agreed to marry me." He says. You giggle, 

"Me too." His smile widens. He leans in and kisses you softly when you rise to your knees and turn to face him, 

"I think we should revisit the newlywed sex." He implies with a raise of his eyebrow. You hum, 

"Me too. Definitely." He chuckles softly before he's standing and taking your hands, leading you back through the sand to your bungalow, pushing you on the bed softly once he slides the door closed. 

                                                          --- 

                                           *Seven Years Later*

"Mia darling, please don't do that." Tom calls to your oldest child, hoisting Harper, your current youngest into his lap with her holding his fingers and climbing his chair. He focuses on the two year old, her hair falling down her back and her legs tangled up in her dress. He rubs her back once she snuggles into him, kissing her forehead. 

Not long after your wedding, you were pregnant with Mia. The second Tom found out she was a girl, he couldn't drop the smile, convinced that the talk of having a girl first all throughout college was just divine intervention. Seeing your husband as a father that first time was unlike anything else. He couldn't put his baby girl down. You were his girl, and he followed you around like a lost puppy, but the second you gave birth to little Mia Faye, he was hooked. And the process continued with your first son three years later, Wyatt James was held in Mia's lap, who was always in Tom's lap. And then again with his second baby girl, Harper Monroe. And now here you are, pregnant with your final baby, another sweet boy who Tom talks to daily, first thing in the morning before he wakes your three older kiddos to bring to bed and see you and at night, right before you go to bed, wishing your little wiggly bean goodnight. He already has a name, Oliver Ethan, and you're excited to have a complete family, four kids to grow up together and travel with, something you and Tom have loved doing since being out of college. 

Cole sighs as he sits beside Keaton who holds his and Phoebe's daughter, Emma's tiny purse, glancing up at his ex-roommate, 

"'S the matter? Being the father of the birthday boy is tiring?" He teases. Cole rolls his eyes, 

"Not only that, but when his papa decides it's time to spoil him and he wonders why mommy and daddy don't do the same, it can get interesting." Cole explains. You smile, rubbing the baby bump over your dress. Tom watches you, 

"I'm just glad that he has a papa. You and dad have gotten along pretty well since he's moved out here." You tell him, reaching up to stroke through Tom's hair to soothe you both. Cole crosses his arms watching his daughter, Daisy, follow Scarlett around, Logan and Ashton, Ivey and Harrison's older boys by her side like they always are when the group is together, 

"I guess so, yeah, it's been... weird. He avoids bringing up mom which makes it awkward but... he's a good enough grandfather. The kids like him and if Scarlett needs help and I'm not available, he's been there." He explains. You nod, leaning into Tom's side. Harper twirls your hair around her finger sleepily, Tom leaning in to kiss her pudgy cheek, 

"Regardless, you guys are talking and actually acting like father and son. Now we have like an actual family again." He nods, 

"Yeah..." Keaton yawns, 

"And what about you Ke? Now that dad's back here and starting that branch of his company here and you're working for him again, how's it been?" He glances up as Phoebe slides into the chair beside him, 

"Yeah, it's good. Back to better payment, being the assistant. It's pretty nice." 

"And no such luck with the baby making?" You ask. He smiles, looking to Phoebe, 

"We're getting there. It's been a hard process but... IVF has been going pretty well." 

"I'm trying to calm the fuck down." Phoebe starts, dragging her fingers through her hair, "I know that going through all of this, the IVF'll fail and then I'll get pregnant naturally." She says with a roll of her eyes. Keaton smiles, 

"The embryo we transfer next month is a girl. Our little Sophia so... hopefully. Fingers crossed." He says. You smile and nod, 

"All our fingers are crossed." You tell them. Keaton smiles, glancing up as Wyatt runs up to you, 

"Mommy..." 

"Yes my love?" You ask of him as he leans in on your legs, 

"Can I go with Mason to his room to see his toys?" He asks you. You brush his hair from his eyes, 

"Did you ask Auntie Scarlett or Uncle Cole if you could?" You ask him. He glances around, 

"Mason asked auntie." 

"If she tells him yes, you can go with him but- hey, Wyatt... but if you go in his room, you need to be careful and don't do anything bad okay? Pick up after yourself like we tell you to do at home." You tell him. He nods before running off to find his cousin. Tom is smiling when you look to him again, 

"What?" You ask. He shakes his head, 

"You're just a really great mum is all." He mumbles, helping Harper slide from his lap again, "Where are you headed love?" He asks, but she ignores him and runs off towards the jumper. You giggle at the pout on his lips, glancing up when Ivey sighs behind you. Her and Harrison slide in between you and Keaton and Phoebe, the little green blanket she left with half an hour ago to quiet the crying cradled in her arms again, 

"He okay?" You ask. She nods and rolls her eyes, 

"He's had a little bit of colic so... he's just cranky but... he's fed and asleep. He should be good for a little while now. Logan and Ashton been good?" 

"Yup, only pulled Daisy's pigtails once." You joke. She huffs, 

"I believe you. Ashton, if you don't tend to him in time, pulls your hair to get up on your chair or whatever he wants. I swear... sometimes if Harrison doesn't collect them while I'm feeding or something, he's sleeping on the couch." Harrison snorts, 

"Yeah, we've had to take up stock in ice cream to keep the boys away from mum." He murmurs. You giggle, watching Ivey roll her eyes before she reaches an arm out and rubs over your belly, 

"How's this little one? You're about in your eighth month huh?" She poses. You nod, pressing a hand to the base of your belly, 

"Yeah... he's doing good. He was super rambunctious last night. We were up all night last night watching him swim and kick. He's gonna be our biggest baby I think." You tell her. You carry a huge smile and taking a glance at Tom, you see he does too. He's so proud of this family you've created. He loves you and all three, almost four kids you have, 

"And Rosie is back to being her protective little self with new little man?" Harrison asks. You nod, 

"Soooooo much. She's normally with the kids but if I sit down, she's right in my lap, head laid over the bump." You tell him. He smiles, 

"She's been pretty great eh?" 

"Oh and her and Tessa get along so damn well when my parents bring Tess down." Tom pitches in. You smile, 

"They've both been great. We were blessed in a lot of ways." 

"That is so good. She's been such a great girl for you." 

"She really has, and Y/N never had animals growing up so she's been a great little companion for Y/N's first time." Tom explains. Ivey nods, glancing up at you, 

"And she's grown up with the kids technically." You pose. Ivey smiles, 

"That Christmas card... so damn cute. You guys with the matching kids and Rose. I can't believe how tall Wyatt is getting. I bet he'll be taller than Tom before we know it." She winks as Tom rolls his eyes, 

"Ha ha. Very funny." She smiles, 

"You know I'm kidding. He's so cute though. All those freckles. He looks just like you Tommy." 

"Well he's lucky then." Your husband murmurs, smiling when you swat at him. He leans over and kisses your cheek, 

"He's hooked on his mumma though. Doesn't ask me for shit. Goes straight to her." 

"Well you've got two baby girls that go to you. So... I'll keep him." You defend. Tom chuckles 

"Who is that? Is that Auntie Y/N/N?" You glance up just in time to see a tan little boy move into your line of sight, giggling. You smile up at him, 

"My little Hunter!" Gil chuckles as you take his little boy, laying him in your lap to tickle him. Tom laughs along as the little boy squeals and Gil leans in to kiss your cheek and then Ivey's, 

"Bout time you showed." 

"Mmm, Minah kept changing his outfit." He mumbles. You hug Hunter into you, smiling as Tom ruffles his hair, 

"Why didn't she come?" Harrison asks. Gil rolls his eyes, 

"Uhm, her mom's in town. But... I don't think she would've come anyways." He tells him. Ivey cocks her head sympathetically, 

"Still having problems?" 

"Yes, and she wants another baby like that'll magically save our relationship." He remarks. You smile up at him, 

"Well I dunno about you but I think this little one is great." You tease, tickling Hunter again. Gil's smile returns when Hunter giggles, 

"He's the only thing that keeps me sane." He tells you. Tom nods, 

"That's how it works." Reaching out again, Tom brushes long strands of hair from Hunter's eyes, 

"I think Wyatt and Mason went to Mason's room. You wanna go see?" You ask him. He nods, squirming from your arms and running off. Scarlett catches him in the doorway, standing on her toes and pressing a hand to his head. She smiles before walking to the table you all sit at, 

"Are we having fun? I see there's only one kiddo here right now. Hi sweet boy." 

"He's not so sweet right now." Ivey mumbles as Scarlett leans over her shoulder and coos into the blanket in her lap. Surprisingly, the little one smiles a toothless smile up at his aunt, the smile growing wider when she reaches down and pokes his nose, 

"Not feelin good baby?" Ivey shakes her head, 

"Colic still." 

"The gripe water didn't work?" Scarlett asks, 

"Very briefly." Ivey confirms. Scarlett clicks her tongue, 

"Damn. Poor thing." Ivey nods, rocking the bundle. When both girls look up, they find you smiling at them. Ivey giggles, 

"What?" You shake your head, blinking tears away, 

"Nothing... just wondering how we got here. What happened to the girls I was introduced to eleven or so years ago? We were so young and carefree and look at us now. We're all moms. We're all wives and killing it all." Tom hums, reaching out to brush the stray tear that falls away. Ivey clicks her tongue, blinking rapidly, 

"Oh babes. You pregnant and me coming down from postpartum doesn't help this shit." She moves in, laying her head over your shoulder. Scarlett whines before she's brushing Tom aside and wrapping her arms around you and Ivey. Phoebe's heeled boots click as she rushes in to join the group hug, Owen, in Ivey's arms cooing up at her too. She smiles, 

"I know I was quite the party girl but... these little ones are the best things we could ever do. Ten... almost eleven, twelve when I get a clear head, these are our greatest accomplishments." She tells the three of you. You nod, pressing her hand over your belly, 

"Definitely." Your baby boy kicks out against her hand in agreement, making the four of you giggle. Tom smiles too, watching you and the girls hug before you part and you take his hand, squeezing and pressing it to your belly. He hums as he rubs the bump, 

"He's gonna be a rambunctious little thing. Reckon we'll be exhausted after chasing just him around." He says, scooting closer to you. You smile, reaching up to drape your arm over the back of his chair, trailing up his back, 

"Well you're the one that had the years of experience of chasing girls around so I think you're suited for the job daddy." His smile widens, 

"Please never mention that in front of the kids. I don't need my little girls knowing and my little boys thinking it's okay that their dad was a womanizer in this very gender equalizing, accepting time." He murmurs. Leaning into him, you kiss his cheek, 

"I promise not to." 

"Thank you." Scarlett, who had previously walked away, starts back towards you, wide smile on her face, 

"I have another tiny slice of cake. I know you and baby boy want it Y/N." You gasp, holding your hands out, 

"Oh my God yes, you're a lifesaver!" You squeal. Tom watches, chuckling softly as you snatch the thin slice of chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting from your sister-in-law. You offer some to him, but he shakes his head. He glances up at the bouncy house, clearing his throat after a moment, 

"Uh oh. The sugar monster's coming. You made a grave mistake accepting cake behind her back like that." You glance up, watching Harper trot towards you, climbing back into her father's lap. He holds her steady moving his legs closer to you to allow her to chomp the piece of cake from your fork. He tucks hair behind her ear, 

"That's good huh lovey? You are never getting to bed tonight little one." You giggle, watching a sparkle flash through Harper's vibrant brown eyes, 

"But with her daddy's puppy dog eyes, no one can resist her." You reason. He nods and leans in to kiss her cheek, 

"Well that's for sure." He murmurs. Once you've finished the cake, Tom holds Harper close, the little one allowing her daddy to love on her. He glances at you and raises an eyebrow and you know exactly what he's asking. The second she saw the cookies upon entrance, it's all she was stuck on for a while. She's such a daddy's girl because he spoils her and you just know he's asking if he can give her a cookie because she's been so good with no tantrums. You chew the inside of your lip, 

"Just one." 

"That's all I'm asking for anyways." He confirms. You nod, 

"Fine then. Nothing more though." He nods, pulling her from his shoulder, 

"Harp, I have a surprise for you, you wanna know what it is?" He asks her. She nods, standing on his thighs, holding onto his hands. He smiles, "You want a cookie? I know you wanted one earlier." Her eyes light up and she nods, bouncing on his legs gently. He chuckles, 

"Alright sweet girl, let's get you one then, yeah?" She nods again, clinging to him as he stands and your heart flutters. To believe that the same man that fought you on a relationship and constantly pushed you away, is now holding your two year old daughter to his hip at a kid's birthday party is beyond imagination, and it is the most beautiful thing ever. 

                                                         --- 

You smile as Tom grabs your wrist, pulling you flush to his body, 

"I know you're exhausted love, and I'll go get you some ice cream after the kids are in bed but... I missed seeing you with all of our friends. You looked stunning all glowing and pregnant out there." He tells you, pressing a hand to your belly. You smile, reaching up to stroke his cheek, 

"You're the sweetest." His smile widens before he leans down to kiss you, 

"I've spent a long ass time loving you and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Especially when you're pregnant with my baby. You and those three... almost four in there, I'd kill for." He reminds you. You sigh, 

"I really lucked out in the husband department then huh?" You ask. He chuckles softly, 

"Guess so, yeah." Popping open the passenger side door, Tom waits until you climb inside to close you in. He climbs in beside you quickly, turning the car on before Mia speaks up, 

"Daddy?" 

"Yes love?" He asks, turning in his seat to face her, 

"Can we listen to Frozen?" 

"No," Wyatt speaks up, "put on Cars." 

"How about we meet in the middle and settle for some Brother Bear or... Lion King?" Tom poses, settling the argument your kids'll inevitably have. And it works. Tom finds the soundtrack for Brother Bear in his phone, quickly shuffling it and stuffing the device in the cup holder. His Spotify has slowly become Disney movie playlists since he's become a dad and he loves every second of it. Harper swings her feet, staring out her window as she hums along to a song, Tom watching her in the rear view mirror with a smile plastered on his lips. You reach up and stroke over the back of his neck, leaning over to kiss his cheek, 

"You are so perfect Tom Holland." You tell him. He draws his eyes off the road for just a moment to look at you, 

"Well that makes two of us Y/N Holland." He says, taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles. Squeezing his fingers in yours, you sigh and twist in your seat to look at your babies. 

Wyatt resembles his daddy the most. He has the same signature curls and eyes and you can already see he's starting to inherit the same nose Sam has and those Holland freckles have emerged. He's definitely a little mama's boy and with the way the girls favor Tom, you hope Oliver will follow in his big brother's footsteps. Mia has Tom's eyes too, but her features resemble you a little bit more. She has your hair type and color, and your nose and eye shape. Tom loves that about her. Harper has more of your features as well, but she's a near perfect combination of the both of you, a gorgeous little girl that Tom coddles the most because she'll let him. He's been in love with all of your babies since the day they were conceived, the most amazing father and husband, getting up at ungodly hours to let you sleep in and him take care of the kids. He's always been an early riser because of golf and now, being a dad, he has the skill to master it like he was never sure he'd be able to. His true calling in life, the cure for his anxiety, has been you and his babies. 

Dragging his hand back up to your lips, you kiss it, 

"I love you so much Tom Holland." You whisper. He smiles, taking his eyes off the road for just a second to look at you, 

"And I love you. More than you'll ever know." He replies, dragging your hand up to kiss it. Tears spring into your eyes again as you stare into his eyes and recognize that boy you met nearly eleven years ago, the one that only wanted to be with you sexually and wanted to avoid you emotionally. You recognize the boy that tore apart your relationship again and again, but always chose to get better for you. And now he's the most perfect husband and father. And that's all that matters to you. 

Yes, you were nervous moving to Seattle, starting new, but your friends, Tom, they've made it easier to live. They've changed your life for the better. They’ve given you immense amounts of love and Tom, himself, has given you a love like no other that created four beautiful babies. And you wouldn't change a thing. Moving from Beverly Hills to Seattle, has proved worth it.

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[buckyscrystalqueen]

Fresh Start: Part 5

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Cop!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 2,953

A/N: Got the idea for this one while watching ‘The Town’.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why is this necessary?” You asked as you walked up the driveway at the Winchester’s house.

“Because I said so.” Bucky sighed as he pushed the doorbell. You looked over at him with one, final annoyed huff before hiking Jess up on your hip and smiling at the opening door. “I convinced her.” Bucky chuckled as he held out the bag of burger meat, buns, and various bag of chips you had picked up that morning when you picked up holiday decorations and decorations for the house. You had no idea how ‘thank you cookies’ had turned into ‘thank you barbecue and pool party’ but apparently that’s what was happening. “This is my fiancé, (Y/N), and our daughter, Jess.”

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N). Come in, come in. Mary’s just getting Sam and Dean up from a nap.”

“We brought food.” You said, not knowing what else to really say as Jess whined and tried to hide.

“Here, I got it.” John said with a nod as he took the bag from you as you walked past a giant play room that looked like a former formal dining room on your left. “There’s a bathroom down that hall over there, only door on the left if you need to change. It goes straight out to the pool. There’s swim diapers in there for Sam that should fit Jess…”

“Oh, no thank you.” You said as you gave up trying to keep your daughter on your hip and let her straddle your stomach to hide in your throat. “We have a pool, too so we have them.”

“You’re lucky.” He said with a nod as he lead you guys past the kitchen that backed the play room and out to the quaint patio. “Pools are hard to come by here. Beer?”

“Yea, two please.” Bucky chimed in as he set your diaper bag down on the bar that ran along a pass through window to the kitchen. You looked back and moved out of the way as the older of the Winchester boys ran past you and jumped into the pool as fast as he could.

“Dean!” A woman yelled as she walked out on to the patio slowly with Sam’s hand in hers. “Apologize. That was rude.”

“Oh, he’s fine.” You said with a shake of your head as you took your beer from Bucky. “If his biggest issue is he ran past some strangers and jumped in his pool, he’s doing pretty damn good. (Y/N).”

“Mary.” She said with a nod as she shook your hand. “And Sam.”

“When she’s done hiding, this is Jess. Who’s missing out on new friends by hiding.” You tried as you kissed the side of her head. “But she’ll get over it.”

“Well I don’t know about you.” Mary said as she gestured to the pool behind you. “But I’m gettin in. It’s hot.”

“Hot!” Sam repeated as he pulled on his mother’s hand.

“Yea, we’re going.” Mary chuckled as Jess picked her head up to find where the little boy’s voice was. 

“You wanna go play with Sam?” You asked her before taking a sip of your drink and putting it down on the bar by your bag. “You can’t be shy. Man up, little girl. Show these boys you ain’t no pussy.”

“(Y/N)!” Bucky hissed as he flicked your arm. You looked over at him and the giant shit-eating grin John had on his face.

“What? You want her to be a little pussy?”

“You are killing me.” He sighed as you sat down in one of the chairs and took off the dress you had on over Jess’ swim diaper and bathing suit. “You’re really killing me.”

“You love it.” You smiled up at him as you set your daughter down long enough to take off your tank top and shorts.

“Up.” Jess whined as she tried to climb up your leg.

“I know, come on.” You said as you picked her up to go swimming with Mary and the boys.

“So I have water wings and rings galore.” Mary said as you walked down the stairs. “Dean tends to dive through the rings and pops them so we buy them by the case load. And neither of the boys like water wings.”

“Yea… my Ma just chucked us in the community pool.” You giggled as you put Jess in a ring that had a plastic bottom for her to sit on. “You either swam or you were drowning.”

“That’s how we learned, too.”

“I tried to do it with Jess.” You sighed as you looked over at your new friend. “But my lovely fiancé threatened to make me sleep on the couch if I did so she doesn’t know how to swim yet.”

“Really? John was the exact opposite. He practically threw Dean into the pool like a football as I screamed from the kitchen.” You nodded your head and shrugged as you gently pushed Jess toward Sam and his float.

“Yea, I’m not the sensitive one in our relationship. I was raised on the mean streets of Brooklyn, New York by the boys in my neighborhood. I was the only girl my age for like three blocks. And that just kinda stuck. So I don’t coddle. That’s James’ job. I got lucky with that one, too.”

“Isn’t it funny how that always works?” She giggled as she leaned to the side so Dean could get out to jump in again. “You always end up finding the exactly right person to compliment us in the end.”

“True.” You said with a nod as you looked back over your shoulder at the man that literally changed your life in so many ways. “So very true.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I feel so naked.” You sighed as you scratched at your throat where your five gold necklaces usually sat. “’s’not right.”

“Stop scratching, baby.” Bucky said sweetly as he sat down beside you on the couch with a pad of paper in his hands. “All right. Let’s start with the most basic. Hair color.” You groaned and let your head fall back so that your currently wet bottle blonde hair fell back over the side of the couch.

“Why ya gotta go afta the hair?” You asked as you ran your fingers through it for a half second before forcing yourself to stop. You hadn’t before realized you did that at least fifty times an hour, and you were going to try to break that habit with your new personality.

“You can stay blonde.” He said as he wrote other ideas down to help you figure out who you wanted to be. “Or you can let it grow out. It’s up to you.” You sighed loudly and met his eyes before covering your face with your hand.

“Don’t look at me.”

“Hand down.” He said as he reached out to push your hand away from your face, which you were hiding because you didn’t put any ‘hooker make-up’ on for this conversation. You simply had a little bit of eyeliner and some mascara and that was all. “You are gorgeous and you know it as well as I do.”

“Besides the point.” You muttered as you went to run your hands in your hair again before dropping it on the couch cushions beside you and shoving your hands under your thighs. “I feel naked.”

“So we’ll come back to hair color.” Bucky said as he put a question mark beside the idea. “And we need to go shopping for new eyeshadows in natural colors for the make-up part?” You nodded your head because you knew that the blue you loved to wear wasn’t really a respectable color to wear every day. “Alright then. So I found a nice online cooking class on Groupon. Six months, twice a week. They shoot prerecorded videos and post them to the website so you can learn as slowly as you want and watch them as many times as you want as well. And there’s a baking one as well thats the same thing, but once a week for six months that I can sign you up for, too. So you can learn how to cook at your own pace.”

“I’m gunna burn the house down.”

“No you’re not, because I will be right there with a fire extinguisher.” He commented as he drew a line through something else on his list. “So that takes care of cooking. Next is job.”

“I can’t do…”

“Stop.” He interrupted as he looked over at you with a smile and grabbed his phone. “Let’s think about what you can do. Realistically. You are amazing at basic math. You said it yourself that you were good at weighing out weed.”

“So what, become a drug dealer again?” You asked before looking down at the webpage he was showing you.

“Medical Marijuana. They are looking for an assistant manager AND before you start in on not being able to do it, they teach you step by step, to make sure you know the job before letting you go out into the real world and manage their store. So you will be dealing with something you know, and doing a job that is easy. And the best part is, Mary is the owner and manager. So that’s a bonus. She’s looking forward to seeing your application, which I will help you with since I know you’ve never filled one out. Which leads to my next thing, clothes. 

If this is the route you wanna take, you can still wear your necklaces, your earrings, the bracelets and the rings. All of that. You can keep the blonde hair, you can go natural, you could even dye it purple if you wanted to. But your hem lines need to change. Jeans and shirts that cover your bra’s completely. Only a little bit of cleavage. Shorts have to completely cover your ass. Don’t give me that look. I’m trying to help you here and you know it. I’d suggest sneakers and flip flops as well. Your heels won’t be fun. But you will have to remember that you are NOT a Townie in that environment. It won’t be easy.”

“What about Jess?”

“Jessie can go to day care.” He said as he set his pad of paper down on his knee. “There’s a really good one just down the road and she will be just fine. And if none of this sounds like a good idea to you, and you wanna just be a stay at home mom, you can. I should be hearing back about that mechanic’s job today or tomorrow and I’m confident I’ll get it. With that and what we have saved from selling all your cars, my car, and my bike. All the cash you had stored in your mattress at home, all the stuff we took from your brothers place, all the furniture we sold… all that money is just building up interest in a bank. We could live off just that comfortably for two years. At the end of the day though, doll, you are the one that said you wanted to grow up. Now I will stand by you one way or another no matter what you wanna do. So you think about it.”

“Why is this so hard?” You asked as you threw your hands up in the air.

“Because your brother and I coddled you too much, sweetheart.” He said as he tossed his notebook on the table and got up to check on Jess to see if she was still napping and grab you a joint from the dwindling stash you had upstairs. “All because we loved you.”

“No, you just loved that I mulled drugs the best.” You grumbled as you sat forward to grab his notebook to look at his list again. “The boobs and all.” You didn’t even stop yourself from running your fingers through your hair again as you looked at the list of things to change to make you more of an adult. It was all terrifying and yet, you wanted it. “You’ll still love me, right?” You asked your fiancé as you looked over at him as he walked down stairs. “If I do this… if I become this person for you, for us?”

“(Y/N), I will always, always love you. Because I know the person inside of you. The woman that I fell in love with, the mother of our daughter, that’s the woman I love. What the outside looks like doesn’t matter to me. I just know that you will have an easier time with this if you don’t try to fit the Townie into Vegas and instead fit the Vegas into the Townie.”

“That makes no sense.” You huffed as he lit the joint and passed it over to you.

“Then look at it this way. You love drug dealer me, cop me, and mechanic me. You love me no matter what I look like on the outside. Long hair, short hair, and baggy shirts to tight ones. I feel the same way. And this is all up to you, doll. Like I said, you can stay home…”

“I wanna change.” You said with a nod as you looked at the ember at the end of your joint. “I need to or I can’t let go.”

“OK.” Bucky breathed as he reached out and squeezed your leg. “Then we’ll do it together. Always.”

——

You were reorganizing your closet and putting your more ‘slutty’ tops in a box to stash away before your first day at work, when you stumbled upon a box you forgot you had shoved on the top shelf of your closet. You smiled to yourself, and picked up the first photo on one of the two stacks in Jessica’s baby box.

“God, you were so tiny, little girl.” You said to yourself as you looked at the tiny new born laying on your chest in the hospital. You set it back in the box and flipped off the closet light on your way downstairs to show your fiancé. He was laying on one side of the couch with Jess sleeping on his chest while he watched the Yankee’s game on TV. “I’m interrupting your shit team.” You said softly as you simply climbed over the back of the couch beside him. “It’s worth it.”

“Don’t do it.” Bucky growled lowly as you grabbed the remote before he could and muted the TV. “Yankee hating bitch.”

“Look.” You said as you set the box on your lap and showed him the first photo with a smile. He sat up the slightest bit since he had never seen these photos.

“Oh, my God. Look at her.” He whispered as he put his hand on Jessie’s back so she didn’t slip when he sat up. “She was so tiny.”

“Six pounds, two ounces.” You said with a nod as you picked up that stack and handed it to him. “Eighteen inches long. Born August 14 at 7:38 PM. Born at 38 weeks and two days.”

“You should have gone through these before we came here.” He said as he showed you a photo of Thor holding Jessie on your old couch in your old apartment.

“I only kept three with him in it.” You said as you leaned against his side to look at the photos as well. “When she’s old enough, she deserves to know the truth about him… about us. She has that right.”

“We’ll see.” He said with a small nod as he continued to look through the pictures while you picked up the other stack.

“I was always surprised at how small she was.” You sighed as you looked at the out of order stack of your pregnancy. “I looked like a damn balloon.” Bucky glanced over at the picture of you at a barbecue at your brother’s you were holding and did a double take.

“Holy shit. Damn, you are so fucking hot.”

“Stop that.” You said as you pushed his jaw with your fingertip. “That was about a week before she was born.”

“I hate that I missed it.” He said as he looked at the photo of Jess’ first bath. “All of it.”

“You had about as much of a choice about it as I did, sweetheart.” You reminded him. “Holy shit, look at this one.” You giggled as you showed him a photo of the two of you on the night you got engaged. “Your hair was so long. I miss it.”

“Maybe I’ll grow it back out for you.”

“The beard, too.” You said with a side eyed glance. “Fuck I love that beard.”

“The beard is a pain in the ass.” He sighed as he looked at a photo of Jess sleeping on Dakota.

“Yea, but that beard between my thighs felt amazing.” You said as you flipped through the stack in your hands to try and get them organized. Bucky grunted and dropped the photo in his fingers as the fabric of his basketball shorts visibly twitched. “Oh, look at this one…”

“OK, memory lane is closed right now.” He said as he picked up the stack of photos beside him and put them back in the box. “You, upstairs, now.”

“Damn… is it that easy?“ You teased as he got up to put Jess to bed.

“Yes, I’m that easy. Come on, Dakota.” With a small giggle, you put the rest of the photos in the box and left it on the coffee table before turning off the TV and jumping back over the couch to go to bed with your fiancé.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #fresh start #cop!bucky x reader

[lewlthea]

A quick study on Yuri Leclerc.

(Spoilers for DLC content, and trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault).

I once (twice) said that Yuri was a Leon clone for straight girls, since they erased the original characters sexuality to make a copy of him but bissexual, with almost all his romantic interests being women. Now that I have seen almost all his supports and interactions though, I have a different understanding of the character.

I believe Yuri is not only a copy of Leon’s character design but erasing his original sexuality, he also is a character that represents how Intelligent Systems sees LGBT+ men to be.

Compared to all the other characters in the game, Yuri’s story seems to be mongst one of the harshest; Born in poverty, he rose up into noble ranks thanks to his intelligence, deceiving skills and charm, while being the leader of a large underground gang, only for him to fall back into the pit after assassinating priests from the Church of Seiros in a fit of rage, and all of that happened before he even was 18 (During the events of the game, he is already 19 years old). Crude and harsh, while also being charming and a tease, Yuri’s entire character is shrouded in mystery, even to himself, to the point where characters even question if ‘Yuri’ is his real name.

Now, why would that be an issue? Well. This is where we dig our hands into the core issue on the writing of Yuri.

Throughout many times, Yuri discusses how he had to ‘butter up and boot lick’ several nobles, as well as comment how many nobles ‘would fight to have a date with him’; a part of his façade, sure, but it does not mix well with the way he looks when you consider that his character design is a copy of Leon’s, whom is already considered by the franchise as a “pretty boy”, which makes him fall into the ‘flirty LGBT pretty boy’ trope thanks to the care he puts into his makeup as well (one of the lost itens you can find in the main game is his eyeshadow brush), which is very common within media. (Unfortunately, Leon does fall into the trope to a degree as well, but you can still do a case for him not being particularly flirty, only vain).

And sure, this is not a good trope, but it’s also not bad per se- there are several LGBT men who are very flirty. But let’s remember his entire character arc: He’s a deceiver, a criminal, the leader of a gang, a marginalized man from the shadows. When other characters are seen as coming from a life of poverty (Ashe, for example), it’s shown as a dark moment from their past and are perceived as now being ‘reformed’ or ‘in the position to never do such thing again’ (And these characters are, might I add, not canonically LGBT). Such things aren’t possible for Yuri; he’s always going to be in the ‘crime life’, regardless of his social status. 

AND CURIOUSLY, Intelligent Systems casually added in his character notes, for some reason, that his mother is a prostitute. This is never brought up at any point in game, and there was no real need to be added.

Sadly, this is not the only possible reference to sex in relation to Yuri.

The text above is a piece of Yuri’s A support conversation with Dorothea. The context behind the support is how Dorothea discovered that Yuri is a talented singer, and wishes for him to sing with her, something that he constantly shoots down. She tries to make out why he feels this way while questioning her own love for singing (A pretty out of character moment for Dorothea, in my opinion.) and in here, she finally finds out why. The second quote from Yuri, while vague, can be read as him being the victim of sexual assault. It is not brought up afterwards in the conversation, or ever in any of his other supports of quotes. It immediately follows into Dorothea going out of character and feeling bad because she doesn’t want to sing anymore, and Yuri being the ‘bigger man’ and telling her that yes, she does likes singing, and she should so. It’s even more aggravating when you remember that Dorothea herself is also a victim of the same subtexts as this moment’s but several more times than Yuri, but in here, her feelings are not important.

Do be reminded that regardless of the victim, sexual assault is appaling and something horrible to be a victim of- but the game does not treat this possibility to Yuri nor let us linger on it. It’s merely one passing comment that never gets addressed nor developed. He is also the only male character in the game to be a potential victim of sexual assault. The bissexual man that likes to wear makeup and is flirty.

(Some fans of his have even begun to say that this is canon evidence that Yuri is a CSA victim and have harassed others over it, despite still being something vague enough to be open for possible discussion).

So, where does this leave us? 

I feel like before concluding this text, i should express how I feel about Yuri nowadays. Ever since his character design was first shown (We had known Yuri back before the Jeritza update, thanks to dataminers) I felt ambivalent towards him, especially when considering my gigantic love towards the character of Leon, and ever since them I’ve been nicknaming Yuri “Little Leon”.

In general, I find Yuri’s character nowadays okay, and I might even like him quite a lot.

I like how his crest wasn’t something he owned by birth, but something he was given as a token of gratitude after his mom treated an elderly man back to health while asking for nothing, with the same elderly man not only teaching Yuri how to read and write, but also saving his life from a deathly plague by giving him a blood transfusion with Aubin’s crest embedded onto it, being what motivates Yuri into working to make the world a more equal place. That is another thing I like about his character: His ideals. He works towards making the world more equal and to help others in need just as the old man once did, and his uses his gang and influence to help as many people as he can, whether they are from his birthplace or from Abyss, he puts his heart into protecting all of them. His heart is in a good place - and he is someone who knows what to do or not.

However, he is also a mirror as to how LGBT+ men have always been treated by Intelligent Systems throughout Fire Emblem’s 30 years; Marginalized pretty boys who like to flirt, might live a life of crime and, if bissexual, will have a major preference over women. Niles and Leon send their regards.

#fire emblem #fe3h #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fe yuri #yuri leclerc #WOW this took a while #and by while i mean 2 hours #this is a SHORT essay #Anyway yuri is a monster unit and i like using him very much #also his supports w hapi are godly #stan hapi

[raidbossmadi]

People like Us : Chapter 10

(image source in tags) 

10. Solace

Previous chapter: Here 

Sloane didn’t remember much of the trip back to the Cathedral. Only that every so often Troy would jostle her slightly and ask “You alright there?” To which she would give a noncommittal grunt to signify she was still conscious though that was a struggle when it was just so cosy to be resting on him like this. His scent filled her lungs with every breath, he smelled like herbs and leather and his furred collar was just so inviting to lean her face into. It was only fair that she got comfortable around him, she did belong to him now as far as the CoV was concerned.

The familiar smell of his room pulled her from her thoughts and she realized he was setting her down on the corner of his bathroom counter and she leaned against the mirror to stay upright. The tattoo on the back of her neck still stung. Not as bad as when she’d gotten it hours earlier, though she supposed she had her siren healing to thank for that.

“Long day yeah? I know the feeling, so much pomp and ceremony with everything we do but hey -” he shrugged his shoulder “That’s Ty for you. She wants everything to be a show. You did great out there though, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were a native.”

She watched him fill the sink with warm water and drag a damp washcloth across his face. She noticed that when he pulled the cloth away it was smudged with foundation. Normally he just wore eyeshadow but she realized now how tight the camera angles had been on him, how he usually was out of focus or not in the shot at all. She had thought he looked off, without a face full of makeup his features were softer and inviting.

“Everything ok? You seemed a bit short with Tyreen back there.” Sloane finally found her voice again, she kept her tone level and submissive not wanting him to think she was challenging his authority.

“Don’t worry about it, my meds were starting to wear off and I didn’t want to be out with the insufferable people she hangs around with at after parties . Besides you looked about ready to keel over as well.”

He wrung the washcloth out and tossed it into a hamper behind him before walking back out into his room for a moment returning with a bundle of clothes one of which he tossed at Sloane who was unprepared and they wound up bouncing off her face into her lap.

“Sorry. Anyway that’ll be huge on you but it’s pyjamas so who cares.” It was in that moment that Sloane realized he was intending to undress right here in front of her. Not that she was shy about being nude; that was just a fact of life. It was more so that he had so far skirted around it, always changing away from her which had led to a curiosity that she supposed was about to be sated.

“Could you help me? The zippers in the back and I can’t reach.” Sloane asked as she hopped down from the countertop he’d placed her on, feeling slightly less exhausted now that they were away from the high energy of the celebration.

Troy stepped over to her, his left hand grabbing the zipper and giving it a sharp downward tug. The dress began to slide off her shoulders and she carefully stepped out of it setting it back on the counter before her.

“Huh. Your siren markings are pretty contained to your arm.” He remarked, the comment pulling her from the weird floaty feeling that had overtaken her and reminded her that she was naked in front of a man for the first time in her life.

“Hah yeah I’ve never really thought about it, they’re pretty plain compared to yours. Your markings are so nice. I love how they accent your face.” She said as she pulled the shirt over her head. He was right it was more akin to a dress on her than a shirt but it would do for bedtime.

“I’m not a Siren though.” He reiterated the point that he had made when she’d asked him back on Eden-4. “Sirens are powerful, they’re strong.”

“Are you not?” Sloane tilted her head and turned to face him. “Troy you’re one of the Twin Gods. And I mean you have powers I’ve seen them, normal people don’t survive off the life force of other Sirens Troy.”

Something changed in him then. She watched him swallow hard and he slumped over himself, less in the haggard way that he usually was but more like something he’d been bottling up broke in that moment.

“That’s not a power, it’s survival. It’s all this stupid broken body can do to keep itself going. These markings are nothing but a desperate attempt to cling to life. It’s funny you know my mom she always used to tell me I was special, that I should love what I am… but I don’t. Come here, I'll show you the truth. You were gonna find out sometime anyway.” He sighed.

She was torn between reassuring him that it was fine, he didn’t need to do whatever it was he was planning. There was a heaviness in the air now though that made her feel that pressing the issue the opposite way would only make things worse. Instead she just approached him silently as he asked.

“Show me then.” Sloane watched as he shrugged off his vest. It pooled in the elbow of his prothesthic and he didn’t bother to correct it, instead beckoning her closer again.

Troy moved to grab her hand before he paused in the middle of the motion, his eyes locked on the markings that looked over both of their fingers. Gently he hooked his hand around a gap in her markings and pushed her hand gently up under the shoulder joint of his prosthetic.

“Do you feel the latches on the side there?”

She nodded, as she ran her fingers over them. She felt the release for them and pressed,taking note of the sigh of relief that came from him at it disengaged. She gave a short squeak of surprise when the full weight of the arm was suddenly being supported by her hands. Carefully she lowered it to the floor and wondered how he managed to wear it for long periods of time.

“Next part’s easy, you’ll be able to see what you’re doing this time.” He turned to lean against the counter, his back facing her.

A small gasp escaped her as she looked it over. A metallic implant curved to his spine, bits of tattoos peeking out from under suggesting that it was a rather new addition to his setup. She’d never seen his bear back before now, though she supposed this was the reason why. She hesitated as she noted the wires that threaded through it came to a stop at a neural port attached to the base of his skull. She didn’t want to hurt him by mistake.

“It’s just a spinal implant, it doesn’t bite.” He hissed picking up on her hesitation.

“I just don’t want to fuck up and hurt you.”

“A sweet sentiment but if you do you do, no big deal. Everyone else does.”

Sloane didn’t like the feeling of being brushed off and lumped in with ‘everyone else’. She had genuine concern for his well being yet he was acting like it was just normal for people to not care.

“Wires off first doll , then just squeeze the sides of the top vertebra. The rest will come right off.”

She hesitated as she reached up towards the wires. Her hands were shaking as she pulled them out of the neural port and guided them back into their housing in the first vertebra. She examined it carefully as she looked for what she was meant to be squeezing. It had two green lights at the top where the wires were housed and as she ran her hand over it she could feel two divots in the sides. She gave them a squeeze and watched as the implant began disengaging from his back curling like a metallic centipede.

Troy gave another noise of contentment as she set the implant down in the sanitizer in the corner of the room.

“Do you leave those uncovered?” She asked, gesturing at the three ports on his spine. The skin around them seemed irritated and she couldn’t help but gently bring her thumb up to gently massage between them.

A shiver ran up his spine and the noise that escaped him was positively more relaxed than anything she had heard come out of him before. She caught him blushing in the mirror as he worked to regain control of the situation.

“Uh no, I’ve got caps for them by my bed. I’ll deal with that when we’re done.” He said turning back around. Sloane hadn’t the time to scoot back so they were almost flush against each other and were this any other time she might have found herself a sputtering mess but this was not the time or place for it.

He guided her hands just under the collars he wore, on his right side where his collarbone should be there was instead a sub-dermal port that his bracer was connected to. She fumbled a bit, surprised at just how much of a process this was all for one prosthetic. Once the first attachment was removed the bracer began to lift away from his skin. Now he was the one to hesitate as he guided her to the underside of his ribcage, his hand shaking as he did so. She slid her hand under the metal pausing for a moment to let him change his mind if he so wanted to. When he didn’t she undid the latch she could feel there and pulled the bracer off him gently.

Troy stood stock still, his breath held as she took in what he’d wanted her to see. Beneath the bracer was a long line of scar tissue that curled around his ribs, where the bracer sat his skin bruised and discolored, there were also several pressure sores in various stages of healing. The worst part was how vulnerable he looked when she met his gaze, like a gust of wind would shatter him. This wasn’t something he wanted people to see, but it was a part of him no less and she thought no lesser of him.

“Troy…” Sloane began her tone gentle and comforting but she was cut off by a sharp growl from him and she suddenly found his golden canine only inches from her face. She shrank back from the near miss, she had heard Tyreen and the priests talk about Troy’s hair trigger temper but she had never seen it before now.

“Save it. I don’t need your pity, I don’t need anyone’s pity. Like I said I just wanted to prove you wrong, I’m not powerful or strong. You can think whatever you want but spare me the pity.” He straightened back up to his full height, his lips still curled enough to show his fangs.

His eyes betrayed his words though, there was a vulnerability in his gaze. There was hurt and desperation that he was trying his hardest to cover with his posturing.

“I...I don’t pity you Troy. Whatever happened, whatever did this to you… it’s not your fault. You’re not a lesser person because of this.” She assured him stepping closer again even under the threat of being bitten.

“N-No...y-you’re...you’re w-wrong. This is my burden… t-this is my punishment.” He reaffirmed his hand curling around his damaged side.

“Punishment for what Troy?”

“For holding everyone back! For being a burden to everyone else just by existing.” He responded exasperated like this was something that should have been obvious.

“How are you holding anyone back? You do all the hard work around here I’ve seen it. You make sure Tyreen doesn’t make a complete ass of herself in front of the cameras. Iris and Lydia have nothing but good things to say about you when we talk at the circle meetings.” She pressed, though the reasonable part of herself whispered that she could find his teeth in her neck within seconds.

He turned to violence so easily she had to wonder what had led him down this path to begin with. Especially when he was relaxed he was far from a violent man, yet the image of those golden teeth flashing before her face was burned into her mind now.

He slumped against the tile wall, his hand still fidgeting nervously over his damaged side. He was trying not to look at her but Sloane cautiously approached him. This wasn’t like anything she’d seen from him and yet she could feel that this was him, a part of him so buried under false confidence that he didn’t want to acknowledge it around other people.

She still wasn’t sure why he had chosen now to open up to her or if this was supposed to be some kind of test. What she did know was she couldn’t leave him a heap on the cold bathroom floor like a cornered feral animal.

“Go on, leave! L-Leave me!” He hissed not looking up. Sloane couldn’t understand what the point of this was, why he was so determined to get her to leave. Why he thought showing her that he was just as broken as the rest of them would make her think any differently.

“C’mon, let's go to bed. I’m not leaving and I’m certainly not leaving you on the floor.” She pushed as she hooked his arm around her shoulders and led him out of the bathroom.

Back in the bedroom after what felt like an eternity in the stark whiteness of the bathroom Sloane sank into the bed after gently setting Troy down on his side of the bed. Of course she knew this wasn’t over, it was far from over. She took his face in her hands even as he still hissed and resisted her.

“What was all that bluster for Troy? What is the purpose of all this? You bring me here to get away from the reality of our lives and then turn around and tell me to leave you after bearing your soul to me. What is the end game here?” She asked her eyes filled with all the hurt and confusion she felt in the moment.

“I don’t know, I was hoping it would make you see what I am. That I don’t deserve your kindness or attention, for fucksake Sloane you’re here to feed me. Doesn’t that bother you? Doesn’t seeing the man beneath the god make you just want to pack up and crawl to Tyreen I’m sure she’d love to have you as a handmaiden.” He had stopped trying to fight her now clearly too tired to continue this struggle he was losing.

“No. It doesn’t Troy. I’m honored that you felt safe enough to show me your right side. I only hope that you didn’t feel that you had to do it before you were ready. It doesn’t matter to me if you're perfect or not, for fucksake I’m not perfect. I just want to know what your endgame was here.”

He squirmed out of her grasp and hooked his hand under her chin in kind. “I want to take you on a date, like a real one. Just the two of us, I want to show you the best spot in the galaxy. I want to be with you Sloane.”

She blinked, of all the things he could have told her that was not the one she expected. He had the entire CoV at his disposal, worshippers flung themselves at his feet with the hopes of being taken to his chambers. She knew the marks on the inner circles necks, knew that they were a testament to God King Calypso’s opinion on commitment written in his favorites blood.

There was the voice in her head that reminded her how charmed she was by him the first time she saw him and how they had been growing ever closer in their time together. Part of her reminded her that they were more alike than the swarming masses outside, they were Sirens. Perhaps she was a fool to think she would meet a different fate than any of the others, color her a fool then.

“I would like that Troy. I would like that a lot.” She said with conviction, she didn’t want him to think she was only placating him. He had been honest with her; it was only fair that she be honest back.

He kissed her hand lightly. “You won’t regret it. I promise.” The way he said it almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself too.

This wasn’t the direction Sloane had thought joining the CoV would take her, then again she hasn’t expected anything. They would have had every right to leave her on Eden-4 or even to kill her after they’d gotten what they’d wanted from her. Everyday was a new experience that she wouldn’t have gotten staying in her comfortable life. She was ready to face whatever the universe threw at her and meet it head on.

#borderlands 3 #Troy Calypso #Tyreen Calypso #Sloane the Siren #People Like Us #My writing #My HCs

[snappedsky]

Fanatics Adventures in Space Part 24

The Night Terrors attend a party. Previous! Next!

--

The Banquet

           Our heroes have been gone for over half a year. And while their friends and family miss them, time continues to pass normally.

           Winter has struck the Nameless City as hard as usual: clear streets one day, snow the next. Many of the citizens are used to it and prepare around this time. But a couple are just unable to. Like the Night Terrors and their roommate, Aron.

           “I hate this time of year,” Aron mumbles, shivering and curled up in a blanket next to their space heater. The Night Terrors are in much the same position.

           “Yeah, I thought California was supposed to be like hot,” Eff whines.

           “You really gonna try and apply logic to this city?” Reverend Meat grunts.

           “At least the van is warmer than it was before it got tricked out,” Sickness points out.

           “Cold is still cold,” D-boy grumbles.      

           The door is suddenly thrown open, letting in the freezing air and biting wind.

           “Close the damn door!” everyone barks as Serena enters.

           “Relax,” she snaps back, shutting the door behind her. “Look at this.”

           She throws a newspaper on the floor in front of them. On the front page they recognize a photo of her father- Charles Von, the mayor of the city- shaking hands with another smartly dressed man.

           “Who’s that?” Eff asks.

           “Uh Vincent Pimento?” Serena replies impatiently, “I’ve been talking about him for the last couple months.”

           “You can’t expect us to listen to everything you say,” D-boy states, “normally it’s only about men you’ve fucked and eaten.”

           “I like those stories,” Reverend Meat says.

           “Well, to catch you up,” Serena growls, “with Celio Mussolini imprisoned, people are considering Pimento to be the new ‘most powerful man in the city’. And he’s taking that very seriously. I think he might try to take over the city like Mussolini did.”

           “But he looks like he’s making good friends with your dad,” Sickness points out as she looks over the article.

           “That’s just a front!” Serena snaps, “Dad doesn’t see it either, but he’s dangerous. I’m sure he’s gonna dig up some dirt on Dad and use it to blackmail him later. We have to stop him before he gets too powerful.”

           “We do?” D-boy questions.

           “Yes! You’re supposed to be protecting the city, right? Wouldn’t your ‘Little Boss’ want you to take care of a threat before it got too bad?”

           “Alright,” Reverend Meat shrugs, “but what are we supposed to do?”

           “I’m glad you asked,” Serena grins, “Pimento is holding a banquet at his mansion tonight. We’re gonna crash it and-.”

           “And kill him?” Eff suggests.

           “I considered that but his death would be too noticeable,” she replies, “so we’re just gonna find some dirt on him to use as blackmail.”

           “Sounds fun,” Sickness smirks.

           “Not to be the voice of reason,” Aron says, “but you might be able to sneak into a rich banquet, but do you really think these guys can?”

           “What’s that supposed to mean?” Eff asks critically.

           “You stand out?”

           “Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”

           “Don’t worry, I already have a plan,” Serena grins, “I’ll get in with one of you as my date. After, we’ll sneak upstairs and let the other three in.”

           “Okay,” Reverend Meat nods, “so who’ll be your date?”

           “D-boy.”

           “What?” he questions with surprise. “Why me?”

           “Yeah, why him?” Eff questions scornfully.

           “D-boy is the least likely to make a scene,” Serena replies.

           “I am?” he questions.

           “And once I clean him up, he’ll look like a half-decent socialite,” she adds.

           “How are you gonna clean him up?” Sickness asks.

           “At my dad’s house, obviously,” she grunts, as she gets into the driver’s seat. “So buckle up cause the party starts at 7. And I’m guessing it’s gonna take a couple hours to get D-boy clean.”

           “Is no one gonna ask how I feel about doing this?” D-boy asks.

           “No,” Reverend Meat replies plainly.

           “Alright. Just checking.”

           Serena drives them across the city to the richer part of town, where her family home is. She parks the van at the curb and they all get out and hurry up to the house, eager to escape the cold.            

           “Serena!” her mother chimes as they enter. “Always so nice to see you home. And you’ve brought your…little friends…”                

           “We’re going to a party tonight,” Serena explains, “I gotta help them get ready.”

           “Take off your shoes please,” her mom requests.

           “Trust me, none of us want that,” Reverend Meat says.

           She grimaces as they pass and follow Serena upstairs. She leads them to a large, sparkling washroom and shoves D-boy towards the shower.

           “Get clean,” she orders, “while you’re doing that, I’ll find you a tux.”

           “Fine,” D-boy groans as he takes off his hat.

           Serena hurries down the hall to her parents’ bedroom and goes into their walk-in closet. She goes through her father’s clothes before finding a nice, simple tuxedo and nods agreeably.

            As she leaves, she runs into her little brother, Jeff, in the hall. He’s leaning against the wall, watching her suspiciously.          

           When she gets back to the washroom, she finds D-boy in his spotted briefs sitting on the toilet while Sickness scrubs at his face, Eff, Reverend Meat, and Aron watching from the sidelines. D-boy’s hair is wet but he’s still covered in make-up.

           “What’s going on? Aren’t you done yet?” Serena asks as she hangs up the suit.

           ���He showered but his face is covered in layers of paint,” Aron explains.

         “I haven’t washed in a while,” D-boy adds, “I just touched-up my face paint when I needed.”

           “Jeez, we need a freekin trowel to scrape all this off,” Sickness complains as she scrubs his cheek raw.

           When D-boy’s face is finally clean- albeit red and tender- Serena helps him into the tux and does his hair all nice and neat. By the time he’s finished, he’s barely recognizable.

           “May I present, Psycho of Doughboy,” Serena says, bowing dramatically as she shows off the finished product to the others.

           “Wow, Dee, you almost look like a respectable person,” Aron comments.

           “Which is more than can be said about any of us,” Reverend Meat remarks.

           “How’s it feel?” Sickness asks.

           “Not too different,” D-boy replies as he straightens his necktie. “I miss my hat though.”

           “Beauty is pain,” Serena grunts. “Now, we have about half an hour before the party. Wait downstairs and try to stay clean while I get ready.”

           “It takes you half an hour to get ready?” Eff asks judgementally.

           “Hardly. It usually takes me two hours. I didn’t expect D-boy to take so long.”            She shoos everyone out into the hall and starts preparing. By the time she’s finished, it’s almost seven o’clock. She’s wearing a long, dark purple dress with spaghetti straps and a slit up the left leg; her black hair is done up in an elaborate up-do and she has bright red lips and smoky eyeshadow.

           “Wow, you look great,” Sickness comments.

           “I know,” Serena smiles.

           “So how are we getting there? The van?” D-boy asks.

           “They can take the van,” she replies as she nods towards Eff and the others. “I got our own ride.”

           “Okay, guys, meet us at the Pimento residence- the address is in the paper,” she orders as she leads D-boy away. “Wait for us on the roof and we’ll let you in when we can.”

           “Okey dokey,” Reverend Meat salutes and the others wave as they walk away.

           Serena leads D-boy to the garage, where a limousine is parked. Her younger brother, Jeff, is leaning against the hood.            

           “You owe me for this,” he states, pointing at Serena before knocking on the driver’s door and walking away.

           Serena opens the back door and ushers D-boy in. “After you.”

           He looks around in awe as he slides onto the leather seat. There’s a fully stocked mini-fridge, a cooler with champagne, and best of all- a working heater.

           “Wow. Swanky,” D-boy grins.

           “Welcome to the highlife, Dee,” Serena smirks as she sits beside him. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”            The limo exits the garage and they head to the party.

           Expensive vehicles line the street leading up to the Pimento manor- a large, cream coloured three-story building with a big, clear yard surrounded by a brick wall. There are bright lights streaming out of the first floor and dozens of people crowded around outside the front door, where a bouncer can be seen.  

           “So how are we getting in?” D-boy asks.

           “That’s the easy part,” Serena replies, “I’m the mayor’s daughter, remember?”            As they exit the limo and head up the front door, Serena hooks her hands around D-boy’s arm.

           “Hey,” he grunts.

           “You’re my date. Act like it,” she hisses, “and stand up straight.”

           They pass by the line-up of potential, wannabe guests and approach the bouncer. He doesn’t even look up from his clipboard.

           “Name?” he grunts.

           “Serena Von,” she replies calmly.

           He glances at her with surprise. “Ah, Miss Von. Your father is already here.”

           “Yes, well, I like to be fashionably late,” she chirps, “do me favour and don’t mention to anyone I’m though, okay? I prefer to keep my presence separate from his, y’know?”

           “As you wish, Miss Von,” he nods and steps aside allowing the couple inside.

           “Will your dad being here be a problem?” D-boy asks as they pass through the foyer.

           “It’ll be fine,” Serena replies, “he’ll be too busy getting his ass kissed to notice.”

           They enter the large where the banquet is being held. There’s a large, crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. On the right side of the room, all kinds of clearly rich folks are milling about, being waited on by servants holding trays with fancy, little finger foods. On the other side, couples are dancing to classical music. A large staircase is on the far side of the room, blocked off by a velvet rope and guarded by two suited men.

           “So what’s the plan?” D-boy asks quietly as they walk through the room.

           “Blend in, wait for an opportunity to get those guards away from the stairs,” Serena replies.

           Meanwhile, the other Night Terrors have arrived as well. Having parked the van a couple blocks away, they made their way to the mansion through the back alley and jumped the wall surrounding the yard.

           “Jesus, it’s cold,” Eff whines as they make their way to the side of the house.

           “Okay, where are they?” Sickness asks as they peek through a window to get a look into the party.

           “There,” Reverend Meat replies, pointing at Serena and D-boy amidst the crowd.

           “Wow, D-boy really is unrecognizable, isn’t here,” Eff comments.

           Serena and D-boy start to head over to the serving away when Serena stops short and abruptly turns the other, pulling D-boy after her.

           “Ah, jeez! What?” he grunts in surprise.

           “My dad’s over there,” she whispers, keeping her head low.

           D-boy glances over and spots Serena’s dad, Charles Von, talking to a group of people. One man with short, neat black hair in a three-piece suit seems particularly interested in everything he’s saying.

           “Who’s the guy drooling all over him?” D-boy asks.

           “Vincent Pimento,” Serena hisses, venom dripping from her words.

          She leads D-boy to the dance floor, placing his hands on her hips and grabbing his shoulders.

           “I don’t know how to dance,” he whispers.

           “It’s fine, it’s not hard,” she replies, “just sway a bit and follow my lead. And don’t stare at your feet.”

           They stick to the middle of the dance floor, semi-hidden from her father’s view from the other dancers. While Serena watches him and Pimento talk it up, D-boy eyes the guards at the stairs.

           “So how do we get rid of them?” he asks.

           “We need some sort of distraction,” Serena replies.

           “I can come up with something.”

           “Okay, just be subtle-.” She flinches and looks away when she makes brief eye contact with Pimento. “Shit.”

           “What?” D-boy questions.

           “I think they spotted me.”

           D-boy glances over and notices Pimento whispering to Charles, pointing at them.

           “Damn. What do we do?” he asks.

           “We have to throw them off our trail; do something to make them uncomfortable,” Serena replies.

           “Like what?” D-boy asks as he tries to avoid making eye contact with Charles.

           “I have an idea. It’s a little crazy, but just roll with it,” Serena says.      

           “I like crazy.”

           “Good.”

           She throws her arms around D-boy’s neck and kisses him flat on the mouth.

           D-boy’s eyes widen slightly with surprise. Eff, Sickness, and Reverend Meat exclaim with shock and nearly fall over. Around them, the dancers grimace and make an effort to look anywhere else, as do Pimento and Charles.

           Serena breaks the kiss and they both glance towards her father.

           “Wow, it worked,” D-boy says.

           “Yeah, now it doesn’t have to be weird,” Serena remarks.

           “It’s not weird. Just a little gross.”

           “Right,” she grunts and wipes her mouth. “Do you paint the inside of your mouth?”          

           “Sometimes it gets through my lips,” he shrugs.

           Serena scoffs with disgust and smiles. “Okay, so, what was your distraction idea?”

           “Oh, right,” D-boy nods, “okay, just let me lead for a minute.”

           D-boy carefully directs them across the floor, doing his best to stay on-beat to the music, and nears another dancing couple. As they take a step, D-boy sticks his leg out, tripping the women and knocking both of them to the floor.

           “Nice,” Serena comments.

           Everyone’s attention is immediately drawn to the sprawled out couple and the men guarding the stairs rush over. While the couple is helped up and checked over for injuries- and the on-looking guests say rude things about their dancing under their breath- D-boy and Serena race up the stairs.

           “There they go,” Reverend Meat says, “let’s go.”            The three of them easily scale the wall up to the roof and wait for a window to open.

           D-boy and Serena hurry through the house to the third floor. Fortunately, it’s completely empty, any residents seemingly at the party or just out. They find a room with a window on the side of the house and quickly open it.

           “Nice work, guys,” Reverend Meat comments as he, Eff, and Sickness swing in.

           “Now time for phase 2,” Serena grins, “follow me.”

           She leads the crew back to the second floor and she quickly checks every door until she finds Pimento’s office.

           “Okay, look for something, anything,” Serena orders as she begins pulling out drawers and rifling through papers.

           “What exactly are you hoping to find?” Sickness asks as they follow suit.

           “I don’t know. Evidence of money laundering, human trafficking, child pornography.”

           “Wow, that really escalated,” Eff comments.

           “Just look for something we can use against him,” Serena demands.

           “Ahem.”

           The obnoxious fake cough makes Serena and the Night Terrors whip around to the door, where Pimento is standing with four of his servants. Serena glowers as he steps forward.

           “Serena Von,” he says, “I knew it was you. Why are you here? Why do you hate the friendship your father and I have?”            “You’re not friends with my father,” Serena snarls, “you just want to use him and throw him away. I know your type. You hate that my father uses his wealth for the sake of others and you want to destroy him.”

           “Why do you care what happens to him?” Pimento asks, “didn’t he kick you out and cut you off from the family’s wealth.”

           “He means well. He only did that to teach me responsibility.”            “And that sure didn’t work. Now you and your…odd friends are gonna be arrested and you will besmirch your father’s name.” He laughs cruelly. “I don’t have to ruin him when his family does it so well for me.”

           Serena growls as he chuckles. “Okay, time to for Plan B.”

           “Plan B?” D-boy questions.

           “The ‘B’ stands for ‘Beat ‘em up’.”

           The Night Terrors smirk with understanding. Before the guards can even blink, Sickness is on top of one and knocks him to the ground; Reverend Meat punches the other in the chest, immediately knocking him unconscious; the Doughboys finish off the last two by slamming their faces into the walls.

           Pimento can hardly register what just happened, his jaw slung open in shock. Before he can say anything, Serena grabs the front of his shirt, tugs him into the room, and throws him onto the desk.  

           “Here’s the deal, Pimento,” she hisses, baring her vampire fangs inches from his quivering face. “If you do anything to try and hurt my father or my family, I will hunt you down and make you watch as I drain your pathetic body of every last drop of blood. Got it?”

           He whimpers and nods pathetically.

           “Good,” she chirps and steps back. “Let’s go, guys.”

           She opens the window and they climb out.

           “You know,” D-boy says as they scale the building. “If you had just done that like a week ago, we wouldn’t have had to attend this party.”

           “Yeah but this was more fun,” Serena shrugs.

           “So are we gonna talk about the fact that you two…uh,” Reverend Meat says, awkwardly pointing between the two of them.

           “Nope,” they declare.

           “Okay. Just checking.”

#invader zim #invader zim fanfiction #johnny the homicidal maniac #johnny the homicidal maniac fanfiction #iz jthm crossover #my art #my ocs

[artificialqueens]

A Clownfish & A Mermaid (5/?): Snatched! (Biadore) - doctor bitchcraftt

Anonymous request from AQ: “I love your fic of Bianca playing Adore for snatch game on bots, could you write one where Adore surprises Bianca by coming out as her? Maybe Bianca is being the host and doesn’t know till Adore appears.”

A/N: Keeping it non-AU by having it take place before Adore left for AS2, because as far as I remember she did have Bianca as her backup character for Snatch Game. And oh how I wish we’d been able to see that…  A little bittersweet, because we know Adore didn’t stay for Snatch Game.

Regarding Bianca’s waist measurement: her dress form is a 12, which has a 29-30 inch waist; additionally, it’s quoted as 28 in an article from years ago and she looks to be about the same size now.  Xoxoxoxo, bitchcraftt

********

“Show me what else you’ve got?”

Bianca lounged on the couch surrounded by piles of drag and half-packed suitcases.  Still in drag after hosting a show, she’d ignored the stare from the Uber driver (typical) and his awkward attempts at flirting (not typical), and blown through the door at full force to find Adore already spreading her chaos across every available surface.

NDA or not, Danny’s excited call a couple of days ago about accepting All Stars 2 made it clear that the planning had to include Bianca.  Roy kept his mouth shut at the objections he desperately wanted to voice - fallout from Danny' losing his dad, amongst other things - and promised his support in any way possible.

They’d spent the better part of the last two hours going through Adore’s drag, matching items to the list as best as they could and trying to guess what the challenges might entail.  Vintage shopping yesterday netted a gorgeous purple sequined shift that would go wonderfully with her crimped lavender wig, and they’d agreed on a half dozen other looks already before test driving for Snatch Game.  Adore’s Snatch Game needed to be strong, even stronger than her season six Anna Nicole Smith if possible.  Without Bianca and DeLa giving her a run for her money, she should be a standout.  Her first choice seemed decent, but having a backup option was always a good idea.

Danny had briefly complained about having to go into full drag and face for each look, but there was no way to get a complete opinion otherwise.  Because of that, she’d insisted that Bianca not watch her prep so that she would be able to give advice on the final product.  

Bianca was prepared to loan her anything she needed, and tried to guess what the character would be based on Adore banging around her closet and cursing.  After twenty minutes, Adore’s voice drifted around the corner.

“Close your eyes!”

“Really?"  Bianca rolled them instead.

"I want it to be a surprise!”  

She’d teased that it was another queen, and Bianca tried to picture her dressed as Alyssa or Laganja in things garnered from her own extensive wardrobe.  Although, Adore did have a wicked DeLa voice…

“Fine, they’re closed.”

The sound of heels clicking nervously on the hardwood heralded Adore’s arrival, tapping to a stop on the carpet in front of the couch.

“ ‘Kay, you can open them.”

Bianca blinked a few times, shook her head in disbelief, and tried to find her voice.

“You like it?"  

Adore had borrowed a pair of Bianca’s platform pumps covered in jet black rhinestones, and her nude fishnets showed where she held the weighted hem up.  Above that, she was corseted tighter than ever before over actual padding, clad in a fitted black velvet cowl-neck sleeveless gown with oversized sequin flowers pinned at the shoulder and hair piled up to ridiculous heights.  Was that five wigs? An assortment of sparkly bangles and large bracelets worked their way up from her wrists to almost the elbows on both arms.  To top it off, Adore had picked Bianca’s most obnoxious chandelier earrings to accompany the exaggerated eyes and what had to be eight pairs of lashes.

She clutched a throw pillow in front of herself, cocked a hip, and grinned before schooling her face into a disapproving frown.  

"NOT TODAY SATAN!"

Bianca opened and closed her mouth a few times, before starting at the floor and making her way up with a critical eye. The silence stretched between them, broken only by the clink of bangles as Adore fidgeted.  

"Well fuck me,” Bianca managed at last.

”…was that a good fuck me?”

As she watched nervously, Bianca’s blank expression transformed into a howl of laughter, raspy cackle filling the room.  Unable to speak through it, she flailed wildly.  Adore’s smile drooped a bit on the edges, face gone anxious.  Her posture melted into a slouch, vaguely ridiculous given the silhouette of her outfit.

”…okay, I get it.  I look fucking stupid, and I’ll -“

Bianca pushed off the couch, catching her hand before she could do more than turn.  

“N- no!  Don’t!  It’s…fucking…hee hehehe hee hee- oh my fuck it’s perfect!”

“Yeah?”

“Lemme hear what you’ve got planned."  This should be something else.

Adore scowled, dropping her voice and rolling her eyes.  "I ain’t got time for this.  Beat it queen!  Need help packin’ ?”

”Fuck you bitch, I do not sound like that!  You sound like you’re gargling gravel in there.”  After a night of yelling at a crowd her own voice was scratchy and rough, and Bianca couldn’t hold a straight face.  “All right fine, maybe I do.”

She pulled her into the drag room to stand side by side in the mirror, ignoring how the usually neat racks of dresses looked like a tornado touched down.  Without her own heels on she was the better part of a foot shorter than Adore, but together they looked like Bianca standing next to some of the more accurate fan art.  Seeing her own signature evening gown on Adore’s body set her off again.

”Adore Del Rio,” she giggled, dabbing at her eyes, “this might be the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen.  Including Anna Nicole.”

“Really?“  

"Not when you stand with your mouth open like that,” Bianca teased, nearly losing it again when Adore stuck her tongue out.  

“Put your hand on your hip.  No, like this,” Bianca repositioned Adore’s arm and tugged her knee until her right leg crossed in front of the left, bent slightly.  “Emphasizes the hips, it looks more feminine like that.”

“We won’t be doing runway like this, I’ll fucking trip over the hem.  I hope?"  

“You wanna be prepared.  And you’re taller so it won’t hit the floor…Visage is going to love that."    

The sequined flower was perfect and she didn’t need a necklace, but… “Here.”  She pulled the bracelets off and dug back into the jewelry drawers, discarding some and adding others to the pile.  She slipped them back onto Adore’s wrist sorted by color, switching the smaller beads for chunkier ones.  “Exaggerated but still detail oriented.”  

A second pair of less garish earrings followed, Bianca’s signature hoops with colored beads.  “In case you wanna use them for something else.  Now sit.”  She nudged her down in front of the vanity, picking up eyeshadow.  "Gotta get you beyond clown."

Frowning in concentration, she gripped Adore’s chin gently to hold her steady and reached for a lipliner.  "Your lips are full enough, don’t overdraw, just make the Cupid’s bow curved right here."  Adore had done a good job reproducing her eyes, although the liner was a bit more winged than Bianca would wear it.   Punk rock style or not, Danny was a talented makeup artist and the Bianca face only needed a little bit of adjustment.  “Raccoon territory next.  You need to avoid too much color on the lids.”  With a few deft strokes, she painted even darker eyes and added more white to the bottom lids before making the beauty mark bigger.

Once satisfied that the face was right, Bianca collected a few items - two shades of gloss, new packages of lashes - and zipped them into a cosmetic bag with the earrings for Adore to pack.  "Stack them fresh, you don’t want to wear someone else’s lashes, who knows-”

“Yes mom."  Her tone of voice implied that this was yet another lecture.  "I know, but they’re yours so…"  She wilted a little under Bianca’s unimpressed stare.  "Okay fine, but it’s not like I’m gonna get eye herpes from them.”

Moving up from the face, Bianca studied the auburn curls tenuously balanced on her head.  Frowning, she pulled it apart to set three of the five wigs aside, teased and re-pinned, then nodded decisively.

“Forget you trying to do this in the workroom.  Let me style you a full wig so it’s ready to go.”

Adore nodded and stood, leaning on the table for support.  Bianca narrowed her eyes when she noticed that she seemed to be slightly out of breath.

”Can you breathe in that?”

”Yeah?”

“That shouldn’t be a question.  You need to be able to sit for an hour, you remember what it was like.  Show me how you’re cinched.”  When Adore seemed reluctant, Bianca bent to hike up the skirt of the gown, waiting until Adore took the fabric from her before peeling the dress up her midsection (thank goodness for stretch velvet) to reveal the corset.  

"Adore.” The gently chiding tone was worse than annoyance.  “You’re not Chachki for fuck’s sake.  We can get rid of some of that padding and loosen it up."  While she spoke, Bianca turned Adore around to untie the laces before unzipping the front to reveal angry red welts where the boning strained around her waist.  Sighing, she pulled the tights down enough to work the pads out from underneath.  

"But…” Adore protested, “your waist is so small!”

“It’s about proportion.  You’ve got enough to cinch in without the pads. Just make your tits a little bigger, squeezing down to this isn’t going to even show when you’re sitting behind a table."  Bianca searched on the side table for a tape measure, wrapping it around her own waist.  "I’m 29 corsetted, 30 with the gown.  I only take two inches off.”

“I wanna get it right."

The muttered comment seemed more weighted than just a corset disagreement and Bianca paused with her hands on Adore’s hips.  "Pussyface?

"It’s…” Adore met her eyes, more serious than she’d been the entire night.  “I don’t want to disappoint you.  What if I fuck this up?"

"Hey."  Even with the heels, Bianca still needed to tip Adore’s chin up to make eye contact.  "You’re gonna be amazing, you hear me?  They’re lucky to have you, and it doesn’t matter what happens on some reality tv show filmed in RuPaul’s basement.  You could go home the first week and I’d still be proud of you for going back in to that fucking shark pit.”

Adore was silent while Bianca zipped her back up and smoothed the dress back down.  Bianca turned her to face the mirror again, and was relieved to see the small smile.  

“Really, pussyface,” she felt the need to repeat, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #adore delano #biadore #clownfish mermaid #fluff #canon compliant #doctor bitchcraftt

[cluelessxtae-blog]

Byeonhwa - J.JK Chapter One

It's been six months since the incident passed. My mom let me have that time off school, she said I needed a long break from it she was right. The principal agreed with my mom after hearing what happened.

The only thing I need to worry about is going back there. Tomorrow I am going back to school, my mom says I have nothing to worry about. Especially because the only reason why I got bullied was because of my looks. Which was accurate, the girls always commented on my appearance, not my personality. I bet they didn't even consider my personality.

My mom and I have worked on my appearance over the six months. I worked out a lot more and shrunk the portions of food I had just to get rid of my chubbiness, we went to the mall and bought a brand new wardrobe for me, I sorted out my frizzy hair so now it is silky and straight, I have bought lots of skin care products which I use every night, and I have bought lots of makeup.

The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting my bedroom window was the only thing you could hear. Other than my TV which I was watching dramas on. I tried to keep my focus on the TV but my mind couldn't help but to drift away and worry about what will happen tomorrow. What if everything is just the same? What if I am bullied again? What if people only remember me for my hair being cut off in the girls changing rooms half a year ago?

Why does school have to be so stressful, minus all the exams and studying school drama is enough to worry about. I would rather be home-schooled, I've brought it up to my mom but she said I would just be running away from my problems. Why is she always so right about everything?

I was interrupted by a gentle knock at my door, my mother peeks her head around the door. "You should sleep earlier tonight you need the rest for tomorrow." She suggests, I nod. "Have you done your night routine?" She asks as a nod and I reach for my TV controller. "Okay, goodnight sweetie." She smiles. I smile back at her. "Goodnight Eomma." Once she closes the door I turn my lights off, lying back in my bed and pulling the sheets over my body. I stare at one spot of my wooden floor, I hope everything goes alright tomorrow.

====

I pull my coat over me. I was wearing some black boyfriend jeans and a beige oversized graphic tee tucked into them. I put on light makeup with some tanned subtle glitter eyeshadow. I walk downstairs to grab some toast. "Good morning honey." She smiles at me while I press down the toaster.

"Morning," I say back taking the premade avocado spread out of the fridge. "Are you worried about going back?" She asks me. I pause in my actions quickly continuing on with them. "I still have to go. Or else I will never overcome it." I state. My toast springs out of the toaster and I quickly take it out and start spreading the avocado onto it.

I turn around and grab my bag, I'm going to be late on my first day back. As I head towards the door my mom calls me. I stop and turn around. "Eomma I'm going to be late," I whine walking back to her. "Just take this." She hands me a small can that looks like a keyring. I turn it around to see the word 'pepper spray' on it. I look up at my mom my eyebrows creasing. "Eomma I will be alright," I assure her trying to hand it back. She shakes her head and pushes it back towards me. "Keep it. Just in case." She says I let out a sigh knowing if I argue back I will just be even later. "Fine." I stuff it in my coat pocket. She smiles in victory.

"Okay, I'll see you later." I kiss her I the cheek and rush out the door. "Love you." She shouts to me out the door. "Love you too," I shout back heading towards the bus stop.

==== I get off the bus and speed walk to the school. Some students were hanging around the entrance of the school. Their eyes are glued to me and whispers could be heard. "Isn't that Chai Minyoung?" A girl asks.

"The Chai Minyoung which Nancy chopped all her hair off?" Her friend asks. I ignore all the whispers and stares and I focus on getting to class on time. I reach my classroom and I slam the door open by accident, turns out the class had already started and everyone even the teacher was looking at me with wide eyes. "Miss Chai?" The teacher asks. "I'm sorry I'm late I overslept." I panted out. "It's fine It's fine," Sem said in a sympathetic tone. Not this again. She walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder. "I understand what you've been through so I won't give you a punishment." She says I nod trying to contain my urge to tell her to be quiet. "Sit down in the empty seat next to Jungkook." She points at an empty seat next to a brunette boy who was staring at me with sharp eyes. I nod.

I walk over to the desk in the far corner of the classroom. I pull the chair out and sit down, getting my pencil case and notebook out of my bag. "Alright class turn your pages to one five four in your books." She says I look at the closed book in the middle of the table. I reach my hand out to open it but the boys does the same, our hands making contact. "Oh sorry." I quickly say pulling back. The boy stares at me a little before opening the book.

"Copy down the left page in your notebooks." The teacher instructed. I do as she says and I start writing. "You'll have to catch up." The boy speaks up. I glance at him to see him staring at my notebook on the very first page I was writing on. "I know," I respond looking away. There was an awkward silence.

"I could help you." He says I look up at him again. My expression shows disbelief. "Really?" I ask. He nods cooly. "Thank you, I'd really appreciate that." I smile brightly at him.

"Don't smile that wide, I'm only helping you catch up on work. Not helping you win the lottery." He rolls his eyes. My smiles shrink I nod my head once before continuing to write. "Meet me after school in the library." He speaks cooly once again. I nod. "Thank you." I smile to myself.

As I was writing I felt someone's eyes on me, I would have thought it was one of the people who would whisper about me like the students at the school entrance, but this felt different. I looked up and saw a guy with mint green hair staring at me. When he noticed I caught him he smiled at me then winked. Wait, did he just do that... to me? I shake it off and continue with my work, I have a feeling today is going to be weird.

#bts #btsfanfic #btsfanfiction #jungkook #jungkookfanfic #jungkookfanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[msmovingforward]

Re-Engaging: SLC Reunion Pt I

Part one of the the first season reunion! We get the typical footage of the women’s jitters before the reunion begins. Whitney and her glam team saying they’re going to really feature her new boob job in the look for the evening. Jen and Heather saying they’re excited. I would be excited too! I mean, I’m a shady bitch... I would love to get paid to sit around and talk smack to people’s faces. 

The set is actually pretty shah-mazing. Imagine a very gay food court set up for Santa, but socially distanced. Andy Cohen says, “This is the Super Bowl, guys!” Accurate. These reunions really are like the gay Super Bowl, complete with fumbles, MVP’s, and emotional tackles. Those are the four football terms I know. OK... Roll footage. I love that!

Andy opens by saying he gives the season two thumbs up, and congratulates the women. “Hey, Lisa! Does God care now that you own at tequila company?”

“Yeah. He’s blessing me by selling more.” All the women look very rested, and their makeup for the most part in my opinion is pretty understated. Lisa has a somewhat modest outfit. Her tan is looking very nice. Very white teeth. A curled look for her hair. It’s sort of fancy free, and I love that for her.

Heather is wearing a light pink dress with a bejeweled motif that is somehow both tight, but also does almost nothing to show off her curves. It’s very Mormon, but make it fashion.

Whitney is giving me beachy vibes with her blonde bob this evening with a plunging-neckline maroon sequined number and a pair of really EXPENSIVE white gold hoops.

Mary looks like Beyonce’s wax figurine at Madame Toussaud’s, with a rose gold sparkling dress and eyeshadow to match.

Meredith looks like Jessica Rabbit got dressed in the dark and is now ushering a Cirque Du Soleil knockoff show at the Nomad Hotel Casino, but what do I know? This is probably just too fashion forward for me to understand.

Jen stopped at the Spirit Halloween inside the closed Linens-n-Things next to Heather’s new Beauty Lab+Laser and bought a knock-off Jasmine from Aladdin costume.

Some highlights from the customary 20-minute greetings are Heather being DM’d by Rihanna and being told Rihanna thinks Heather is “everything,” and Jen promising to be “Zen Jen,” unless somebody “makes [her] turn up.” So basically no one has learned anything. We’re off to a great start for this reunion. I’m glad everyone is on the same page for what makes a good viewing experience. These reunions are like group therapy if no one were willing to change, and everyone lied and yelled the whole time. I’m NOT disengaging for this one.

Round one! (This is a boxing reference. I’m basically a jock now). Whitney’s journey this season is shown, and Andy brings up the whole swinger situation. Whitney denies being a swinger herself, but says she knows a lot of Mormons who do it, and it’s very Mormon 2.0. I give this one to Whitney because Lisa is riled up, and it was like very nuanced shade, especially for Whitney. Whitney zing!

Next Andy asks how Meredith feels about Jen’s reaction to Brooks’s sweat suit line at Park City Fashion Week, asking “Are you appalled that Jen would be picking on a child?”

Meredith replies, “One hundred percent I was ... He saved his own money to launch his brand ... He should be commended, not criticized.” So Brooks (who by the way is well over 21 at this point, but at the time of filming was definitely NOT a child) should always be commended no matter what, even though he couldn’t even be industrious enough to rip off two Givenchy track suits? Also how was Brooks saving his own money? What does he do for work to earn this money? He couldn’t even call the coordinator of the fashion show himself to say he was going to be late!

We also learn that Meredith was not upset that Jen made Meredith’s birthday party all about her, but she was upset that it was thrown on Lisa’s actual birthday. We are shown unseen footage of a thousand-plus dollar wedding cake for Meredith being wheeled out and a comparatively tiny birthday cake for Lisa being brought out behind it. Unseen footage of Lisa singing happy birthday to herself is also shown. So that makes two women who were confused as to whose birthday party it was and singing anyway: Lisa and the drunk woman whose name I won’t mention because she attempted to overtake the Capitol. Conversely, Lisa reveals that she wasn’t upset about the birthday party itself, the thing that she found to be upset about was how Heather gave her a quick once over because Heather had heard that LIsa was calling Heather a “good-time girl.” Don’t worry though, because Lisa explains what actually happened, saying, “ I said she was a good time! My friend told me an antecdote ... Heather was so much fun. She would press her boobs up against things.” Heather denies all allegations of ignoring Lisa, and Lisa yells, “Roll footage!” Heather tells her that’s not a thing, as the footage of Heather blatantly ignoring Lisa is shown. Lisa calls Heather a pathological liar.

I will say, In this situation originally, I was on Heather’s side, but it does seem like Lisa really didn’t know Heather prior to filming. If we remember even more though, it was Jen who told Heather that Lisa had said this about Heather in the first place.

Andy asks Whitney what he thought of Lisa’s comments regarding her love of the stripper pole. Whitney says she is more angry at the overall vibe Lisa gives that she’s better than Whitney. I definitely can see where this is coming from; Lisa and Meredith do seem to have an elitist attitude toward the other women, however, Lisa hypocritically claims that she doesn’t have a problem with Whitney’s dancing in general, just how she handled herself at Sharrieff’s put-put golf birthday party, “twerking” in front of another woman’s husband. Footage is shown of Lisa trying and failing to one-up Whitney’s splits on the dancefloor. The editors throw in a helpful arrow to let us know where in the crowd Sharrieff is standing (far closer to LIsa). Whitney says Lisa called Whitney trash multiple times, to which Lisa replies that she only called Whitney trash once, AND SHE CAN’ EXPLAIN THAT! I’m glad we’re only sticking to the facts here. Objectively, Whitney, you are trash, but I’ve only called you that once. Love that.

After commercial, we are shown Jen’s season highlights (This really is similar to SportsCenter, isn’t it?) It’s mostly footage of Jen yelling, throwing things, crying, more yelling, and crying more. We find out that Heather’s father passed away in April, though. Mary shares that her father also died this past year, but she has this weird dreamy chipmunk look in her eye when she says it. Also, I love how these women aren’t even going to pretend for the cameras they know even the most basic things the others are dealing with when the cameras aren’t rolling. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR “FRIEND’S” FATHER DIED?! Heather says that there’s more than enough drama to talk about during this reunion without talking about her dad’s passing. Exactly! The really important stuff, like how Mary can fit into a loofah dress that most people can’t.

Andy asks Jen what it is exactly all her assistants do. We learn that Jen actually has a real job in the marketing field. While I doubt that she actually came up with the technology she uses, I was impressed with the amount of industry jargon she threw out. She says she does “direct response marketing.” I worked in advertising for five months, and I was basically an assistant. I can confirm that telling people they were pretty all the time was about 90% of my job as well.

Jen goes into the story of her father’s passing and Sharrieff missing the funeral. We learn that Jen nearly kicked him out for missing it, and it’s a very big point of contention for the two of them. This is where I start to feel sorry for Jen. While I can’t justify much of her behavior this season, it does seem like she’s dealing with both the loss of her father and realizing that her 20-year marriage is not as solid as it could be.

Speaking of Jen’s behavior, someone from Hawaii asks if Jen thinks it’s appropriate to act the way she did all season at 50 years old. At this, time stands still, and the women are ALL flabbergasted. How DARE?! Jen is only 48! So distracted by being confused for someone two WHOLE TWO YEARS older, Jen needs to regroup before saying, “Shit happens.” and that she’s just “temperamental,” which, according to Oxford Dictionary means “liable to unreasonable changes of mood”. Jen just admitted her behavior is unreasonable. ROLL THAT FOOTAGE! Mary jumps in and talks about how she has been a scapegoat for Jen all season, which didn’t really make sense because Mary seems like a genuinely terrible, racist scam artist. Don’t kick her off the show, though. It’s very entertaining!

Andy brings up vagina-gate. This was very revealing to me. (See what I did there?) Meredith says she’s upset with Jen for purposely “rattling” her kids. Jen claims that she loves Meredith’s kids, and she would never do anything to harm them. Jen says that the whole story was taken out of context, and Brooks had caught Meredith smoking, which is the real reason Brooks was so upset. Meredith reveals that she does occasionally smoke a cigarette (but so what? Meredith is cool, and smoking is very elegant), and she says that Jen recorded Meredith smoking without her knowledge or permission. Jen denies this allegation (but looks like she’s lying to me). The real confusion is cleared up, though, and we learn that Brooks in fact did see Jen’s vagina, and he had to go to Best Buy at that point. Meredith also reveals that she had not invited Jen to sleep over that night, but Jen passed out in Meredith’s bed and had to borrow one of Brooks’s track suits in order to have something to wear home the next morning. Jen denies this as well, and doubles down, saying that Meredith was actually the one who passed out. This is like the time my mom caught me drinking when I was 16, and she said, “:You’re drunk!” and I said, “No I’m not. You’re drunk!” Jesus, Jen!

Meredith accuses Jen of attacking Brooks on social media, calling him white privileged. (Um, that’s not an attack, Meredith. That’s just the truth. I’m white privileged, and I can’t even open a credit card right now). Jen denies this too, and the following tweet is shown: “ @therealitybitch R U SERIOUS?????? I never went spread eagle... it's COMPLETELY INSANE to me that NOT ONLY did you all SEE I DIDNT but bcuz a white privelaged family tells you I did, you somehow think I Sis something wrong. (Girl with face palm emoji).” Arguably my favorite part of this episode is the dramatic music playing as the misspelled words “white privelaged” are highlighted on screen.

Next we’re shown Lisa’s highlight real, where she mostly says, “I love that,” and talks about how much she loves herself and what a go-getter she is. Andy asks Whitney which couple out of the group she would swing with, and Whitney answers Meredith. Not Seth. Just Meredith. Really, Whitney? You don’t want to get down with Mary and her grandfather? At this point, Jen’s superiority complex is brought up by essentially all the women except Meredith. I understand LIsa’s response; she doesn’t feel like she owes anyone an explanation for how she acts like a boss bitch, and I truly believe her. I guess I have a soft spot for Lisa? I am team Lisa on this one for sure, though. I don’t understand why Heather and Whitney feel the need to change Lisa’s attitude. Meredith jumps in and says that Lisa says the same things to her in the same tone, and Meredith doesn’t take it personally, which is why she and Lisa have been able to remain close friends for ten years. This rings true to me.

What gets tricky to me, though, is then Heather and Lisa start fighting. Lisa plays a victim, claiming all the bad press she got for coming off as elitist was in direct response to how Heather portrayed her on the show. I feel like Lisa is trying to walk a line of owning her bossiness, but still wanting to throw Heather under the bus for people hating her for being a boss. I truly don’t understand where Lisa is coming from on this one, and it’s not a good look.

Mary then brings up that she NEVER talks down to people or makes them feel less than, and Lisa tells her that she most certainly does do that to all the members of her church. Dramatic music plays, as Mary blinks and twitches Bewitched-style, and says that Lisa better not bring up Mary’s church, or Mary will bring up Vida Tequila.

in the midst of all of this nonsense, Whitney tries to have an epic moment in which she reveals she has TEXTS from Lisa regarding the bartenders she had claimed made a mess of her party at the beginning of the season, but when Andy goes to read them, he says, “This is a bad Xerox, babe.” (”Jen, you know I’m a straight shooter.. wait. Can I start over?”) Before we’re shown the scenes from next week’s episode, everyone basically starts talking over each other, and Lisa says something about Taco Bell.

My final thoughts: I’m wondering what it is Jen has to offer that is so appealing to Meredith and Jen that they’re giving her so much grace. Beyond the fact that neither of them seem to vibe with her at all, the sudden change of heart Lisa had in the finale was VERY fishy to me. Meredith didn’t seem to have much to say in the way of Jen, but I assume that bridge will be crossed in the parts of the reunion to come. I was also a little shocked to learn that the bartenders Lisa hired really were a gift, and they really had nothing to do with Vida Tequila. Maybe there is something to what Lisa is saying about Heather and Whitney portraying her as more of a monster than she really is. Did she get a bad edit? Also, though it may be a long shot, I would love to learn that Whitney is actually an evil genius playing dumb. There are hints of it I’ve seen so far. She DID organize the whole trip to Vegas, and she DID start the ball rolling on Sharrieff’s birthday-gate. One thing is for sure, after the reunion thus far, I’d say these women all came to PLAY, and I’m living for Salt Lake. 

#RealHousewives #Housewives #Reality #RealityTV #Bravo #Television #RealityTelevision #TV #AndyCohen #LisaBarlow #JenShah #HeatherGay #MaryCosby #WhitneyRose #MeredithMarks #BrooksMarks #Reunion #RealHousewivesOfSaltLakeCity #RHOSLC #SaltLakeCity #SaltLake #Utah #Mormon #RealHousewivesOfSLC #SLC

[relaxandlaughatyourself]

Recap of Ika’s IG Live 1-25-18

As always, Ika and Dem are just too cute for words. Literally. I have no words. We got a few more glimpses into their lives and really saw them interact with each other.

Links to screenshots: Part 1 and Part 2.

Ika came on as she was doing her makeup.

Demetri was in the chat to say hi quickly but he had to go.

Dem got a tripod for his cell phone but she’s going to steal it when she sees him next. She adds him and he says she’s not gonna steal it. He said it’s really good for facetimes.

She has a concealer that smells so bad but it may smell bad because it’s old (from the house). She said she’s going to put it on Dem’s face when she sees him so he can experience it too. Dem: “The stinky concealer will always remind me of you.”

Dem comes back with Ika’s moisturizer that she left there and he puts it on. He uses his middle finger to put it on. Ika tells him he’s not allowed to use moisturizer, he has to age and look old. Ika: “Don’t touch my things. Go put it back.” Dem: “My skin’s never looked better.” Ika: “We have certain rules in this relationship, and one of the rules is that you’re not allowed to use moisturizer because you can’t look young.”

Dem said he told her last night that he’d buy her a tripod but Ika told him to keep his $20.

Ika went to an event last night Dem would have liked. “It was some healthy event with healthy food shit.”

Dem was going to say something that would make her mad but he can’t remember what he was going to say. She said good, because she has a meeting at 2:30 today and she doesn’t want to feel hateful.

Ika said they facetimed last night - they facetime until she falls asleep - and she said that he wanted her to fall asleep so he could go play video games. She closed her eyes for two minutes (he says it was 20 minutes) and then opened her eyes to see him playing. She said “I hate you” and turned her back to him, as if she was in the same bed as him and was turning around so she didn’t have to face him.

Ika says Dem is good at a lot of things but he is not good at video games. Dem: “The joy you get when you kill someone on their screen…” Ika: “Who am I dating?” Dem: “I’m sorry you have to put up with me.”

Ika says she still always put her left shoe on first. And now everything she does she has to do the left first, like putting on her eyeshadow on her left eye first. Ika: “You’ve corrupted me.” Dem said when he sees people putting their right shoe on first he gets a little anxious. He said if he saw her putting her right shoe on first he would tell her to stop and put her left shoe on first.

Dem says he knows so much makeup stuff and he asks her to name one golf brand. Ika: “Titties.” She explains it’s the hat he always wears and he explains that’s a running joke and is not a brand (play on Titlist). She then says Tiger Woods.

They talk about when they go golfing and how she finds it boring so she listens to music and drinks. Ika: “I sit on your balls.” Ika explains how she’ll lay on his golf balls so he can’t golf.

He says she doesn’t even know what video game he’s playing, but she says Call of Duty and that’s right.

He asks for a hockey brand and she says Reebok, “I guess that’s right.” (some guy in the comments was also helping her lol)  Ika, to get out of this: “I’m sorry but you don’t know everything about the makeup.” He names some but she doesn’t count them because they were in a gift bag. She asks what body wash she uses and he knows because it’s in his bathroom now and he uses it.

She says that he needs to have girly stuff in his bathroom, like body wash because she doesn’t think to bring it when she goes to his house.

She felt awkward when he brought her flowers. Whenever they see each other for the first time in person, she gets so scared and weird for like an hour.

She was using a brand named Becca and Dem asked if it was like what  Beyoncé sang about, “Becca, with the good hair.” Ika dies laughing. Ika: “I pray for you every day, but I’m gonna pray for you today. I don’t know where I found you.” She said that she’s gonna go call Gary and tell him what Dem said. Because of this, Dem is being spiteful and using more of her moisturizer. Dem: “I just want to put more on cause it smells like you.” 

Ika and Dem say they got surprises for each other. Ika says he gives good surprises but she hates surprises.

Ika needs to leave her house by 1:40; Dem is going to the gym with Brad and needs to leave in a half hour. Dem tells Ika to leave 20 minutes early so she is on time; “You are on time 14% of the time.” Dem is trying to think of when they were actually on time and can’t (for the record, Ika can’t think of a time either). Dem: “Remember Fashion Week? We were late for every single thing.” She was late picking him up from the airport, too. Ika: “[I’m on time for] my meetings. Well, that’s a lie.” She says she’s on time when she’s not with him and he doesn’t believe her because he’s on time when he’s not with her. She says she’s on time for Elijah’s basketball games because they have to be there an hour early for practice. Dem: “That’s because he’s probably like ‘Mom, we have to go!’” 

She says she needs to show us what Rashaud made her and Dem says she does need to show us the sock monkey. Dem said he thought Rashaud was tricking her and he bought it, but he did in fact make it. Dem asks who’s socks he used and if she named him yet; she hasn’t.

Dem and her have this running joke by starting a convo with “I feel neglected.” Dem will get in the car and call her on speaker and Ika will say “I feel neglected.” and his friends will be in the car, probably think she’s some clingy girlfriend. Dem: “They’re like, weren’t you just texting her 20 minutes ago?” He embarrasses her all the time.

She said one time he called her from the car and immediately said he had went to the gym with Brad and Brad was in the car with him. Ika said he said it in a way as if she was going to trash Brad. Dem: “I didn’t want you getting into the dirty talk!” Ika: “That’s a lie!” He always let’s her know someone is in the car after she embarrasses herself. Dem: “I let you sound like a crazy person first.”

Ika told Dem once he should eat more fruits. Dem now thinks he’s being so good by eating an orange. He’s clearly proud of himself.

Ika says that his family thinks she’s weird (she doesn’t like salad or green vegetables and doesn’t drink water) and when he kinda nods she says, “They do not think I’m weird!”

Ika says that people always say “I feel bad for that poor little Greek boy.” and she wonders why no one ever feels bad for her. She says she’s innocent and he laughs. She says people probably feel that way because she has a strong personality and Dem is just fun loving. Dem says she lost sympathy with the apple fight.  She makes him apologize to her again for it. “I’m sorry, baby, for the apple fight.”

Ika: “I need to put on some glow.” Dem: “You’re already glowing.” Ika: “Honey, I can’t find my stuff.” She finds some stuff and asks him if she’s glowing. Dem: “You’re glowing, baby.” She says the one she wants may be in his gym bag; she apparently stole that too.

Dem is going to the Oilers game tonight because Brad got tickets.

Ika asks Dem if she should put on eyeliner and/or mascara. Dem: “Baby, you look beautiful just like that.” She keeps asking for his approval and he tells her she looks perfect as she is.

They end it because Brad was calling Dem and they both need to go. They’ll talk after the gym.

#demika #ig live

[gplusbfics]

A BDay Request + 43 Things

I’ve been wanting to do this anyway, but today’s my birthday – first one since I started this blog last fall – and I wanted to ask everyone to tell me what your Garashir story is and give me a link. (Or just the name if you cannot find the link.) Leave it in the comments or message me. Later I’ll post all the links. And read them, if I haven’t already.

Meanwhile, here are 43 things about me, one for every year of my life. Some I’ve definitely mentioned, others not.

The earliest “crushes” I can remember in my life are Spock and the Tin Man (Wizard of Oz). Notably, both wore blue eyeshadow, which made me feel all fuzzy inside.

I grew up in northeast Massachusetts (New England) but have somehow lived in Georgia for the past 20 years (19 of those in Atlanta).

I’m 6 ft. tall and got to that height at age 12. (I was 5 ft. in 2nd grade already.)

Was severely bullied as a child (definitely just for being tall), going on through high school and while it was pretty horrible, had lasting effects, it’s had some positive too, like I am extremely empathetic and I never say nasty stuff to anyone ever.

Favorite movie: The Wizard of Oz (1939). Other favorites: The Third Man, Lawrence of Arabia, Wings of Desire, Young Frankenstein, Metropolis, Lord of the Rings, My Life as a Dog.

One of my dearest friends is British fantasy-scifi author Storm Constantine. (Rather a cult author, so not hugely well known, but if you’re into dark fic or are a goth or into weird fic or queer sci, you might know her.) I am actually her fiction editor (on her Wraeththu universe books) and we are currently working on our fifth short story anthology together. I’ve also visited her at her home in Stafford, England, I think six times now. I love her :)

I’m really big on international travel or, I should say, travel to Europe. As a teenager I spent a summer in Germany and after college I got hooked, to the point I’ve been over 20 times at least. Been to the England, Scotland, Germany and Italy multiple times – Germany by far the most often – and also Slovenia, Austria, Czechia, Netherlands, Belgium. My most recent trip was Berlin. For my most immediate travel plans (next year) I have in mind: Sicily, Bucharest (have a friend there), Scandinavia, Dublin, Budapest (friends there too).  

Pretty much fluent in German, although not to the point I could write any decent fanfic :)

My eyes are true hazel.

I live in condo in a 104-year-old neo-Gothic skyscraper. It’s beautiful.

I’m actually terrified of the idea of going to or being in outer space.

I’m more intrigued by the mysteries of the ocean than space.

My B.A. was in journalism but I never used that degree professionally as an actual journalist. Instead I went into web development. But eventually with my current job (starting 10 years ago) I came back around to using my verbal & comm. skills like gangbusters.

For my work I spend a huge amount of my time promoting academic medical research.  

I -love- black licorice. I, um, even have a Tumblr about it.

Back in college (UMass Amherst) I spent 2 years living in an all GLBTQ dorm. Yes, for real. THAT was an experience. 

I’m a gray asexual. The part of me that is into people is bisexual. 

Consider myself trans and/or gender nonconforming, bc in many ways I do not identify with the gender I was assigned at birth. For several years I had it in my head I was meant to be a man (outwardly, possibly with hormones or other physical changes) but gradually had a realization that this was utterly unnecessary. 

I consider pretty much ALL clothes (my clothes) to be “drag.”

I don’t know how to do regular makeup Everything I do ends up being either like glam rock or drag queen style. Over the top is my style 

On multiple occasions, my friends have been asked, out of my presence, if I am a trans woman. (Which I find flattering.)

In college I used to go into Boston completely in trans man type drag and would see how many times I could get sirred. (Answer: always. It was very skinny.) This now sounds unbelievable because…. see 21 above.

Over the past 8 years I’ve gained about 70 lbs. and as result I’ve switched to wearing dresses and “femme” type clothes almost all the time. Don’t have to worry about growing out of them nearly as much and I can get dressed in about 30 seconds. Also my outfits are usually flamboyant, so it’s kind of my own gender expression. 

I’m kind of in love with my cats and I don’t care what people think of that.

I’m genetically immune to caffeine.

1/3 pint of beer is enough to get me drunk.

I love beer and my fav types tend to be extremely dark, opaque. Also 9%+ alcohol by volume. This plays interestingly into my susceptibility to alcohol (even regular beer).

My dad died 4 years ago and my mom (my favorite person IN THE WORLD) is 81. Mom is amazing and ever since Dad died we take awesome vacations together. Mom is is a total geek.

I’m the youngest of 5 kids and by FAR the youngest. The age spread is 16 years and my nearest sibling is age is 7 years older.

I hate hot weather. I live in the South. Go figure.

Crazy crazy Instagrammer.

I’ve known my two BFFs nearly 24 (!) years now, since the first month of freshmen year. One of them has been down here in GA with me 20 years, while the other was here for a bit but moves around. Been in Seattle for years and I see her when she comes to Atl for Frolicon and Dragon Con and stays with me.

My favorite “holiday” is Dragon Con.

This year will be the 10th year I march in the Dragon Con Parade in the “walking Periodic Table” as Beryllium.

Favorite post-70s bands/artists: David Bowie, Depeche Mode, Björk, NIN, The Cure, Queen, Beastie Boys, Einstürzende Neubaten, Sinead O’Connor, The Orb, Prince, The Smiths, Morrissey, Kraftwerk, Siouxsie Sioux and the Banshees.

I can listen to Philip Glass on infinite loop. (Which is funny)

Obsessed with Art Deco. Like… you have NO IDEA.

Pescatarian. But I have a rule whereby I can eat meat on holidays, on vacation and on my birthday. (Tonight: BBQ ribs.)

I love reading smut. I loathe watching porn. (When I was younger I would watch gay porn but in my mid-20s I just started to find it repulsive, watching anyway.)

As a teen and into college I was kind of a misogynist. Gender issues. But I am OVER IT.

Because I live in the City of Atlanta and in addition don’t drive, rely on public transit, I have spent the past 19 years in situations where I am frequently the only white person on a bus or train. Happens at least once a day. Given that I grew up in a town where there were maybe 2 black families per 35,000 people, this has rewired me.

I am virulently anti-fascist.

I seriously underestimated how hard it would be to get to 43. Like OMG.

#most post #garashir fanfic #garashir #ds9 fanfic #ds9 #deep space nine #all about me

[coffeestudylive]

Venting

No one has to read this, I kinda just need to get some shit off my chest but I don't really have anyone to talk to. 

Trigger warning ? I decided to add this after I wrote it just in case. There’s a lot of cussing, a brief mention of what I believe to be sexual harassment, mentions of arguing, anxiety attacks, and being I guess?? verbal abuse? I'm sorry if that's wrong I don't really know how else to word it. 

So I guess anyone who does decide to read this will need some back story so that they aren’t completely lost. My parents got divorced when I was just about to start 2nd grade. My mom moved us away from my dad and we lived with different family members for the whole time I was in 2nd grade, so I ended up going to multiple elementary school. I don’t remember much except some really bad nightmares every time I had to go to a new school. 

Everything was okay for a while, it was until I was in middle school. When I got into middle school that’s when I started becoming my own person and forming opinions of my own. Only problem was that , I was basically becoming a person my dad hated. I started wearing darker clothes, and I had very different views than my father. Now, I didn't live with him so he couldn't really do anything to stop me because he’s in the navy and usually never lived close enough. But he still found ways to tear me down. We would get into fights over text and he would call me emo and shit like that just because I wore darker clothes, didn't do sports, and I didn't (and still don't) have a lot of friends. He found it weird I would rather read than talk to people. From that day on I had anxiety attacks anytime he even texted me. I couldn’t breathe and all I could say was “ I want my mom.” But I couldn’t bring myself to ask my mom to help me. I would just cry and try my best to breathe until I eventually passed out or calmed myself down enough where I could form actual sentences. 

Then he came to visit for a little while and we literally fought almost everyday. I would have anxiety attacks anytime he started yelling because I was so scared. He is like 3 times bigger than me now, but at the time he was probably 4-5 times bigger than me. I knew that if he wanted to he could do some real fucking damage. During this visit he called my mom a piece of shit in front of my face. I may have been like barley 5′ and around 80 pounds but no one & I mean NO ONE was gonna talk shit about my mom in front of me. 

I drew the line that day. I ignored him for a whole year. Best fucking year of my life. I stopped self harming, my depression wasn’t as bad, I stopped trying to push my friends away. But my mom convinced me my dad deserved another chance. So my dumb ass told him I forgave him. 

Now let me just say that I fucking hate my dad. But some part of me still wants some sort of validation from him. I don't know what it is but any time he nitpicks at life it hurts so much. 

So we started talking again, but what hurt was when I wasn’t talking to him I got multiple calls and texts from him almost every week. But when I forgave him I barley got one call a month. Which part of me love , and the part that seeks some form of validation from him hated. 

Then when I was 15 I had to spend the summer with him. We some how didn't fight that whole trip. (except for one ‘small’ fight about him slapping my ass but that's a whole different story) Until THE LAST FUCKING DAY TOGETHER. I was messing around with my brother and I had put some eyeshadow on him (he was fine with it). My dad threw a fucking fit. He started throwing around all these slur and then he said something like “Do you understand why I'm upset right now?” I held my head up high (I was so scared holy fuckin shit) and I looked him in the eyes and I said “No”. He was furious. He said “what the fuck did yo just say to me?” I once again looked him the eyes and said “ I said No” 

He took me into my room and started to have a ‘serious’ talk with me. He was telling me how my brothers were not allowed to be gay or trans until they were 18, living on their own and paying their own bills. He said that he hoped my mom had the same rule in her home. Then he tried to move the topic along by saying “Now I know you are probably wondering why you at allowed to be bi bu-” I cut him off cuz I was feeling sassy af & said “No I was thinking about how mom doesn’t have that rule in her house.” He walked out the room and called my mom and tried to make her make that  rule IN HER OWN HOME. She hung up on him while he was talking. 

I never found out what he was gonna say about me being bi (at the time I didn't know what pansexual was so I settled for bisexual) but he made comments the whole summer about it. “There’s still a chance you’ll marry a guy right?” “You've never done anything with girl so how do you know” (which I responded with “I've never done anything with a guy either so” he shut up real fucking quick) 

Since that summer there hasn't been any problems (at least not any I can think of right now but everything's kind of a mess in my head). But he recently (like I'm talking he moved here December 24 recently) moved really close to me. I was all ready to give him another chance. I was all like You know what it’s a new year , new me maybe he’s changed. I'm going to try really hard this year to be civil with him.  

We visited him the day after Christmas. He gave me a new iPhone & put me on his plan (which is not a good thing because if he gets mad he can take it away from me and I wouldn't be able to call my mom or 911 if need be which makes me really anxious) he also gave me a fancy ring. Now trust me I'm grateful I got these gifts. It’s just that... this is what he does, he spends a lot of money on you and if you do anything he doesn’t like he makes it seem like you’re the bad guy. 

Anyways, the first day was perfect. Nothing went wrong. Second day started rocky cuz he got in a fight with my dad and I had a anxiety attack in front of everyone and my dad was like wtf is wrong with you. I had a headache the rest of the day and when I tried to tell my dad that I wasn’t feeing well and that I just wanted to go home and lay in my own bed, he thought I was stupid. He said there was no difference being sick at his DADS house (like he literally lives with his dad right now and his dad has a gf, who has two kids, and four dogs, and then their was my dad and my brothers like do you realize how much noise was going on that was making me feel worst) the being sick at my moms house. I tried to explain to him but he wouldn’t listen. So I was forced to spend the night again. 

The Third day is what caused me to need to write this whole fucking thing. He had told me I would be going home that morning, I didn't end up home until 3-4pm. I had woken up fairly early (I'm used to wake up at 5 am for school everyday) and while I was laying in bed he came in and sat down near me. He started questioning why I didn’t want to drive. He started calling me a scaredy cat and basically we got into an argument and he kept telling me I can't continue being scared of the world and I just wanted to scream and yell “I can’t help the fact that I have anxiety asshat!”. Eventually he ended basically tearing down all the progress I had made since that year of not talking to him. He kept saying shit like “How do you have any friends? How do people stand talking to you” “You are so boring why do you lock yourself in your room?” (he also mentioned something about four walls which was a low blow cuz of an argument we had when I was in middle school). The rest of the day was just him making snide comments like that. 

Now I'm supposed too be working on a project but all I can think of is all the dumb comments he made. I'm the most depressed I’ve been since middle school. I had worked so hard to get myself to a point where , for the most part, I loved myself. I rarely doubted my friends love me. But now all that is replace with How do you have any friends? How do people stand talking to you? 

I don’t know what I hoped to get out of writing all this down but it feels kinda good to kinda just get it all out there. I'm sorry to anyone who decided to actually read this. I didn’t mean for it to be so fucking long. I'm sorry for my horrible grammar. I doubt much of this makes sense. 

To anyone who actually read this : Thank you..  

[theregulargirlreviews]

Happy Thursday, Beauties!! This week’s walk down memory lane is a little bit different than the usual Throwback Thursday posts I do. Instead of featuring a product that played a role in beauty for me, I’ll be talking about the two women that have inspired my look the most, my mom and grandmother.

  My mom in the 80’s

Mom and Dad at my cousins wedding.

Growing up, I distinctly remember watching my mother with awe and amazement as she would put her makeup on to go to work or out with my dad. Her dresser had her perfumes in a cute little group in the center of the dresser by the mirror, and her makeup was either in the bathroom or on her dresser, depending on her mood. she didn’t wear a lot of makeup from what I remember, but her face was always slayed. ALWAYS.

My mom always told me that wearing makeup wasn’t important to try to impress others, but to present your best self, especially as I became an adult. ‘You never know who you are going to run into, Mija (mee-ha, which is daughter in Spanish; my mom was Dominican), so you don’t want to be out here looking a mess. Always make sure your makeup looks nice, and never leave the house without a belt or earrings on.’ My mother used to give me that speech because I wouldn’t really wear makeup unless I was going to something important, like a hosting gig or something like that.

My mother is my biggest inspiration period, but in the context of beauty, she was literally everything. Knowing what I do about makeup now, I would call my mom’s makeup style natural with a little spice. My mother LIVED for a red lip and red nails. She was all about subtle eyeshadow, a little mascara, I’d say medium coverage foundation and that bold, red lip. Maybe that’s why I’m so partial to a red lip. Either way, my mom was definitely beauty goals for me.

Now, my grandmother (on the right in the image above) was a special kind of fly. She came to this country from the Dominican Republic to make a better life for herself and her family. I wish I knew the name of it, but I always smell her perfume when I think of her.

She had a similar makeup style to my mother. Just enough makeup to even things out and accentuate her features. I remember seeing her face powder once and loving the shade of brown that it was. It reminded me of hot chocolate. She’d apply it to her face with the coveted powder puff, of course, and I just remember thinking how soft it made her skin look. I’m fairly certain this is why I have such a love for face powders.

My grandmother’s strength is probably what inspires my look the most. That, and wanting to achieve that soft as silk, rich as hot chocolate look to my skin. The strength to hold your head up high in spite of all life is throwing at you gives you a highlight to your skin that no makeup can provide.

Who from your childhood inspires your look? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time, Beauties!! xoxo

#TBT: A Tribute to My Biggest Beauty Inspirations Happy Thursday, Beauties!! This week's walk down memory lane is a little bit different than the usual Throwback Thursday posts I do.

#beauty #blogging #throwbackthursday

[artificialqueens]

Hey Stranger Part 1 (Biadore) - Houdini

A/N: come on part 1! Firstly, thank you all so much for your kind comments on this and Glow (I am shook). Secondly, originally Hey Stranger was supposed to be Biadore but it kind of became a monster, and I’ve hinted at a few side pairings here. Any feedback/comments/suggestions/bribes would be amazing, hit me up at @princess-banana-lady :) Here’s the official first part of Hey Stranger, enjoy! xoxo Houdini

Fuck. Adore rolled over once again, trying to will herself to sleep. She had to be up ridiculously early tomorrow for orientation and she had a feeling showing up with dark circles wouldn’t go over well at Charles’. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep- what if I don’t make friends? Ganj will be there, she’ll be outgoing, but I can’t just rely on her. What kind of weirdo has one friend that’s also their cousin?

Adore’s inner monologue was interrupted by the sound of her door creaking open. She held back a smile as she heard feet padding towards the bed. Obviously. Rolling over to make room for her cousin, she let out a groan. “Can’t sleep either?”

Laganja snorted. “Nah, I just felt like squeezing in your bed,” she replied drily, flicking on the bedside lamp and slipping her amazon-long legs into the sheets. The two faced each other silently. After years of living together, words weren’t needed. Adore blinked as she noticed a lilac streak running through Laganja’s long hair. “That’s dope,” she commented. Laganja smiled. “Gotta keep up the image, girl”.

Adore let out a laugh. Always one to march to the beat of her own drum, Laganja had gone through virtually every hairstyle on the planet. A few years and lifestyle choices after their move, she had ditched her plain-jane (literally) name and threw herself into more advanced dance classes. People at school saw Laganja as the loud, leggy blonde with a penchant for tongue pops, but Adore could see the same cousin who had come to live with them when Adore was 7. And right now, she was scared shitless.

Not that Adore was any different. Starting tomorrow, she couldn’t rely on her social butterfly of a cousin to make friends for the both of them. They had homeroom together, but other than that, Adore would be in the music stream and Laganja in the dance stream. “Adore?” Langanja whispered. “Yeah, Ganj?”

Laganja paused before continuing. “Can you do that purple eyeshadow thing on me tomorrow?” she asked quietly. Adore punched her playfully. “Yes, bitch. You do the cat eye on me.” Laganja nodded eagerly. “It’ll be okay I think. Plus, Bianca will be there and her mom says she’s got tons of friends,” she said before lowering her voice. “Are you ready to see your lesbian awakening again?” she teased.

Adore shrieked and slapped Laganja’s arm. “Don’t play that, girl!” she responded before letting out a huge yawn. Laganja giggled and turned off the lamp. “You didn’t answer,” she mumbled, already drifting off. But they both knew the answer. Hell no.

*****

Bianca checked her reflection in the mirror again, pursing her lips. She didn’t normally wear makeup to school, but Courtney’s excessive tirades about “The importance of senior year, B!”, had gotten to her. Dark brown eyeliner made her amber eyes pop, and her glossy lips looked downright kissable. Grabbing her bag, she made her way downstairs and out the door just as Courtney pulled up. The upbeat Aussie flashed her pearly whites as Bianca slid into shotgun. “You look stellar, lady killer!” she trilled, revving her engine. Bianca cackled. “You’re just excited for new meat, aren’t you?”

Courtney feigned shock before nodded. “I just want to find someone I can actually have a real thing with, you know?” she mused. Bianca nodded, trying to hide the look of disgust on her face. She failed. “Bianca! Not everyone can just fuck and leave like you do. Besides, there will definitely be some cute new girls” she teased. Bianca rolled her eyes as Courtney began singing along to the radio.

3 songs later, they pulled into the parking lot and were promptly greeted by Alaska and Jinx. The two theatre majors grinned as they greeted Bianca and Courtney with hugs. “Court, you’re never gonna guess who the new dance head is! It’s Alyssa–” “Edwards.” Courtney finished. “Her daughters are here too, apparently,” Jinx mused.

Alaska’s eyebrows shot up. “Girl, Adore Gelato’s back?” she exclaimed.

“Delano.” Bianca mumbled.

Alaska nodded before continuing. “Shit, if both her kids are here they must be talented as hell. We haven’t had siblings since Shangela and Gia last year.”

The foursome made their way through the front entrance. “Where’s Trixie?” Bianca questioned, searching the halls for the last member of their group. As if she had magically conjured her, a pink faced Trixie emerged from a classroom and lumbered her way towards them. “Move!” she snapped, practically pushing a new kid out of her path. “Shit.” Courtney muttered, staring at the angry pink tornado as she approached.

“Ican’tfuckingbelievethisfuckmrkressleyIamnotgoingto-” “Bitch, breathe!” Bianca barked. Trixie took a deep breath before speaking again. “You know how I applied to be the student director for the fall production, right?” she began, balling her fists. “Of course we know. We read through your application about 40 fucking times.” Bianca exasperatedly replied.

“Right, well Mr. Kressley emailed me to meet with him today, saying I got the position. But apparently, there’s going to be two directors this year,” she seethed. Courtney wrinkled her nose, staring at her fellow music major in confusion. “Why is that a bad thing?” she questioned.

“It’s not. It shouldn’t be.” Trixie retorted. The four girls waited for an answer. “Except the other director is KATYA ZAMOLODCHIKOVA!” she hissed.

Bianca bit back a smile as she eyed the other girls, each of them trying equally as hard not to crack. Finally, Jinx spoke. “You know, Ivy really likes Katya. Maybe you’ll finally get along,” she chuckled.

Trixie and Katya had been rivals since they began at Charles. Although to be fair, it was more of a one way rivalry. They were the top two students in the year, but Trixie never understood how the perpetually chilled out Russian did so well. The girl was constantly pulling all nighters and managed to show up in weird prints every single day, and to the driven Trixie, that was a reflection of her work ethic. However, Bianca had seen Katya’s work. The girl was fucking talented, and a gem to boot.  

Trixie huffed as the group approached a table filled with fliers. “And she’s a design student. Since when has a design student qualified to help direct a musical? No offencee Bianca.”

Bianca smiled. “None taken,” she replied, picking up a flier and handing it to Courtney, who gasped. “Legally Blonde??? YES!!!” she exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to play Elle,” she raved, raising her voice to be heard over two excited new girls.

One of the newbies, muscular with unruly blonde hair turned towards Courtney.

“I see that,” she remarked, unabashedly raking her eyes over Courtney’s body. “Yes gawd!” her friend sang, snapping her fingers at the now blushing Courtney. “Come on, Elle!”

Alaska and Jinx laughed at the blonde, who had legs up to her fucking ears and a light purple streak in her sleek hair. Bianca blinked as she stared at the girl’s blue eyes, framed by long lashes and shimmery purple eyeshadow. The girl looked weirdly familiar.

The muscular one grinned at them. “I’m Willam, and this giraffe is-” “

Holy shit!” the leggy girl exclaimed. “Bianca! Bianca Del Rio??” she cried, her  haughty face splitting into a warm smile.

Bianca nodded, still not sure who this girl was. “That’s me,” she rasped. Willam’s eyebrow shot up. “Sexy voice,” she commented. Bianca rolled her eyes. “Nice try blondie, but I don’t do charity work,” she quipped.

Willam shrugged. “You’re not my type either,” she replied, eyeing Courtney, who was batting her annoyingly long lashes.

The tall girl stared at Bianca before raising her eyebrows. “Girl, it’s me!” she said, gesturing wildly. Bianca stared at her before shaking her head. “Sorry, I don’t remember-” “Jane!” , the tall girl whispered, looking around furtively. Willam let out a loud laugh. “Your actual name is-” she screeched, cutting off abruptly when she saw the glare coming from her new friend.

Bianca’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, you grew the fuck up!” she cackled, giving the girl in front of her a hug. “It’s Langanja now,” Laganja announced. Jinx laughed. “I can smell. I mean, tell.” she joked.

Bianca quietened. If Jane, or Laganja, or whatever is here, then Adore’s gotta be here already too. Why am I so invested in seeing that kid again? It’s not like-

“Where’s Adore?” Alaska asked, looking around the atrium and rousing Bianca from her train of though. “She’s helping Aunt Alyssa set up the studio. I would help but the school doesn’t want me hanging around Alyssa that much. Conflict of interest or some shit,” Laganja explained, rolling her eyes.

“She’s in dance. I’m music,” said Willam. Bianca nodded. “I’m design, these two bitches are theatre,” she suppled, turning to Courtney slyly. Courtney turned pink as she looked at Willam. “Trixie and I are music too,” she said feebly, as the other seniors tried not to laugh.

“What’s up Charles! This is Manila Luzon and Latrice Royale with your 5 minute warning!” blared a familiar voice over the P.A system.

“We should get going to homeroom, the bell’s gonna go,” warned Jinx. Trixie turned back to the two younger girls. “You guys should audition for the musical. It’s just one song and a monologue, and I’m the assistant director.”

“Co-assistant director,” Alaska teased. Trixie rolled her eyes. “But yeah, Court and Jinx normally do it and Bianca’s head of costuming. Auditions are in two days.”

Willam nodded. “Sounds good.” she decided, before turning to go. “It was nice meeting you girls. Bye Courtney,” said Willam, shooting the Australian a wink.

“Have you seen Adore yet?” Laganja questioned, her expression unreadable. “Nope,” Bianca responded, trying to ignore the weird feeling in her stomach. Laganja nodded before sauntering away with Willam.

“Who’s gonna tell them new meat always get the chorus?” Jinx chuckled. Bianca smiled. “They’ll learn.”

Trixie checked her watch. “Let’s go,” she suggested, turning to Jinx. The two headed down the east corridor while Alaska made her way to the south one. “I’ll say hi to Katya for you!” she yelled, laughing as Trixie flipped her off.

Courtney grabbed Bianca’s arm as the two headed to their own homeroom.

***

Laganja pulled out her phone as Willam led her to their first class. She grinned as Adore picked up on the first ring.

“We finally finished setting up that fucking barre, I never want to see a dance studio ever again,” Adore ranted. Laganja laughed at how out of breath Adore’s voice sounded.

“Adore?”

“Yeah Ganj?”

“What do you think of Legally Blonde?”

#hey stranger #houdini #cisgirl au #high school au #multiship #biadore #witney #trixya #bianca del rio #adore delano #trixie mattel #alaska thunderfuck #jinkx monsoon #willam belli #laganja estranja #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au

[artificialqueens]

Mine and Yours - Shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - i took a break from exam revision to bang out a short, sweet, silly oneshot for you!! hope you enjoy <3

Alaska didn’t remember how it had started. All she knew is that this meant war.

Okay. Perhaps that was a lie. She remembered exactly how it had started, and that only cemented the fact that this was a war she was committed to win. Yes, she remembered how it had all started. She couldn’t forget.

It was the night of the Christmas party, a week before they all broke up from work and got to retire into their homes to eat disgusting amounts of turkey and drink too much mulled wine. Alaska had been getting ready in the living room, having moved her makeup and mirror so that Sharon could get out of the shower and get ready in peace. A little while before she’d started to put makeup on, she’d heard the shower switch off and soft footsteps moving across the landing, so Alaska knew Sharon would be ready soon.

She’d been adding the final dusting of highlighter to the tops of her cheeks when it happened. In the mirror, she saw the living room door open and turned around to see Sharon smiling at her, watching her do the finishing touches on her face.

She looked stunning. Alaska looked her up and down appraisingly – she’d curled her fried, peroxide-blonde hair into soft looking waves, and her eyeshadow was a surprisingly pretty blend of festive reds and greens. Her eyes travelled downwards; she was wearing that beautiful heart locket Alaska had bought her for their two year anniversary, and –

Oh.

Alaska recognised that dress. It was white, shorter in the front and longer in the back, with ruching all the way down the front and a low neckline accompanied with long sleeves. Without a doubt it was one of Alaska’s favourites.

It was also Alaska’s dress.

Yet Sharon was wearing it, and she looked infuriatingly good in it. It hugged her hips tightly, clung to her waist, emphasised everything. Alaska’s jaw would’ve dropped had she not been so surprised.

“Is that my dress?” was her first reaction.

Sharon nodded, blinking innocently. “Yeah, do you mind? I really like it.”

Damn her. How could Alaska say no? She was drop-dead gorgeous in it, her slight extra curves filling out the spaces that Alaska’s naturally slender frame couldn’t, and it fit like a glove. Like a well made, beautiful, stolen satin glove.

“You look great, babe. How’s this eyeliner? Even?”

So Alaska said nothing. It wasn’t like she was mad. How could she be mad? Her girlfriend looked beautiful, whether the dress was Alaska’s or not, and Alaska wanted to rip it off her body for several different reasons. She wasn’t mad. A little bitter, maybe. But not mad.

Anyway. That had been how it had started.

-

But it didn’t end there. Maybe it was Alaska’s fault, maybe it wasn’t, but it was definitely Alaska’s fault for continuing it, despite the fact that Sharon had unwittingly started it. But Sharon was the beginner of it all, so Alaska continued to blame her.

Perhaps it was petty of her to carry out her revenge so soon. Did she really want to start the New Year like this? Yes, yes she did. She absolutely did, and no one was going to stop her.

“Hey pumpkin, have you seen my – ” Sharon’s words trailed off as she entered the kitchen, clutch purse held haphazardly underneath her armpit as she used her free hand to hold a bottle of champagne. “Ah. My jacket.”

Alaska smirked, wiggling her shoulders to show the item off. She knew it was one of Sharon’s favourites – a staple when she wasn’t at work – and Alaska would be lying if she didn’t adore it. She’d watched Sharon personalising it; she’d sewn on all the patches herself, hot glued the spikes to the shoulders, cut it to the length and style that she wanted it. The leather was comforting against Alaska’s bare skin… If she was honest, she’d admit that it reminded her of being a teenager, when she’d feel that very jacket pressed against her skin and taste the cigarettes and whiskey on Sharon’s breath. Not much had changed other than their age and financial status.

“You like?” Alaska teased.

Sharon raised an eyebrow and grinned. “I love. You look cute in it, it’s swallowing your tiny arms up.”

At first, Alaska thought her plan had failed, but then she saw it. That tiny glint in Sharon’s eye. The slight quirk of her eyebrow. The way she maintained steady, lidded eye contact. Her dry laugh.

It was game on.

-

All of a sudden, it was war. Alaska wasn’t sure whether she spent more time trying to guard her own wardrobe or trying to dig through Sharon’s equally guarded armoire. Either way, a fully-fledged battle with two opposing armies had been waged, and Alaska could not and would not allow Sharon to win. This was her game. Sharon had started it and Alaska was going to finish it.

They wore it all. The other’s shoes, jewellery, dresses, even a few of Sharon’s more expensive, less frequently-used lipsticks. Alaska revelled in every time she saw Sharon’s eyes narrow in silence, and cursed every time Sharon blew her a kiss whilst wearing something distinctly Alaska. There was no end in sight.

Sharon progressed it further. One Monday, the battle had slipped Alaska’s mind, and she didn’t have clue why Sharon might have been staring at her during the work day other than she thought Alaska looked nice. Her theory was proven correct at the time, when the patterned dress had been torn from her body along with Sharon’s and discarded somewhere unseen across the bedroom. Yet – of course – it had been one of Sharon’s sneak tactics, or at least an opportunity she’d had the smarts to take, and the very next morning, she turned up at work in the dress Alaska had worn the previous day.

Well, didn’t that get everyone talking.

All day, Katya kept jabbing Alaska in the arm, pointing at Sharon and cackling at inopportune moments. The Russian didn’t have a filter or an inside voice, and it had becoming increasingly clear throughout the day.

“I can’t believe she is wearing your dress. Bitch! Talk about workplace subtlety! Ladies and gentlemen, bringing to the stage, Workplace Subtlety! That fucking bitch! Oh my god. This is amazing.”

Katya rambled on and on. Alaska tried to tune her work friend out, but it was impossible not to hear the manic blonde firing off quips ranging from sweet to utterly crude. Better yet, Sharon overhead a few comments and made sure to wink, flirt or just plain kiss her cheek whenever she passed Alaska’s desk.

Nevertheless. Alaska was going to win.

She had one final plan to end all plans. Six months of a brutal clothes-stealing feud would come to an end forever, all thanks to Alaska’s ingenuity.

In all honesty, Alaska was quite excited.

She’d enlisted the help of Katya, as well as a few old friends she’d kept in touch with – Bianca who claimed she was in it for the cake, Courtney who had jumped at the idea, and Jinkx who had shrugged and tagged along. It was all perfectly set up and orchestrated, the clothes-swapping fight to end all fights. No matter how good Sharon looked in all her clothes, and no matter how nice it felt to wear something that smelled like Sharon, it was going to finish in the most spectacular of ways.

Now, all she had to do was wait.

She’d timed things perfectly. As usual, Sharon got home at six and headed straight for the shower, peeling the clothes and fake lashes off and letting the hot water clean away her makeup and any stress from the day. As soon as she was underneath the hot water, Alaska crept into the bathroom, taking Sharon’s clothes and beckoning her friends in to complete their jobs. Thankfully, with the stream of water running so loudly, Sharon didn’t hear a thing. As quickly as she could, Alaska scribbled a message on the mirror in lipstick – Sharon’s, no less – and ran from the room.

By the time she was done showering, her work clothes had been laid out in the garden, where Alaska was waiting. The washing hamper had been dragged out by Bianca. All of the wet clothes from the washing machine had been removed by Jinkx and strung up on the washing line. Everything from the dryer had been folded into warm, neat piles and stacked on top of the table, in which Katya was currently resting her head and mumbling about fabric softener.

During the day, whilst Sharon had been working, Alaska had taken the liberty of removing everything from both of their wardrobes, even ransacking the drawers for spare socks, bras, underwear, anything. It had been quite the sight for her friends to see everything they wore displayed out in the garden, once again neatly folded and stacked. However, for this to work, it needed to happen.

Sharon stepped out of the shower, her eyesight slightly blurry without her contacts or glasses to hand. She reached out for the towel on the radiator, wrapping the fluffy material around her body and making her way into the bedroom. Nothing appeared to be out of place, although she’d expected to see Alaska. Perhaps she was out getting groceries, or visiting her mom. It was weird of her not to leave a note, though.

After stumbling around to find her glasses, Sharon walked towards her wardrobe in search of something comfortable. Pyjamas, maybe. She wasn’t going anywhere, and she didn’t have nearly enough energy to be dressing nicely or to steal something of Alaska’s. That took too much effort. Only…

Sharon blinked. Once, twice.

Her wardrobe was empty.

Surely this was a joke. Was Alaska playing an elaborate prank? Had there been a burglary? Why was everything gone? Only hangers remained, swinging sadly from the force that Sharon had flicked through them. Nothing, not a single item was there.

“What the fuck…” She muttered, moving instead towards her chest of drawers. If she could at least find an old vest and some scrappy shorts, she’d be fine. She could get her own back on Alaska later, but for now…

Nothing. Empty.

“Goddammit Alaska!”

Ever persistent, Sharon kept looking. The washing machine was empty, stopped mid-load. The dryer had nothing in it. The ironing pile had vanished. Even everything of Alaska’s was gone. In essence, the house was devoid of clothes. The house was as naked as Sharon beneath her towel.

In a last ditch attempt, Sharon re-entered the bathroom. Of course, the washing basket was empty, but what caught her eye that had escaped her notice before was the lipstick on the mirror.

Come into the garden. Love you xxx

“Fucking witch.” Sharon cursed, shaking her head as an affectionate smile made its way onto her face. It was so typically Alaska to go over the top like this.

The grass tickled Sharon’s feet as she stepped out into the garden, but she didn’t pay any attention to the strange sensation. It looked as though the back garden had been transformed into an oddly open clothes store, with everything she owned strung up and displayed for the world – or in this case, the grinning faces of Katya, Jinkx, Courtney, Bianca and Alaska – to see. Instantly, she burst out laughing as Alaska walked forwards.

“I hate you so much. Why are they here? I have nothing to wear!” Sharon exclaimed.

Alaska giggled. “I told you to stop stealing my things!”

“You didn’t!” Sharon protested.

Alaska considered her. “Okay, I didn’t. But this war has gone on for long enough.”

She took hold of Sharon’s hands, idly playing with her fingers as she talked. “I’m ending it once and for all, which is why I came up with this elaborate scheme and got all our friends involved in it- are you serious?”

Sharon frowned at Alaska’s sudden change in tone. “What?”

“You’re wearing something of mine again?”

“Wait, what?” Sharon said, perplexed. “I’m literally wearing a towel. Nothing else. What are you talking about?”

“No,” Alaska said distractedly, gesturing. “Not the towel. Your finger. Are you serious?”

Sharon looked down at her hands in confusion. She wasn’t wearing anyt-

“Sharon. That’s my ring.”

Alaska’s serious facade melted away as she tried to cling onto it. For a few moments, Sharon was utterly breathless, staring at the piece of jewellery on her hand in a mixture of shock, awe and adoration.

“…Alaska?”

“Sharon!” Alaska tried, giggling as she attempted to bring back her acting. “I just bought that!”

“For you!” Katya piped up, instantly ducking down again as Alaska shot her a look.

Sharon’s heart thundered. She lifted her eyes to meet Alaska’s, noticing instantly that they were sparkling. A rosy blush had started to spread across her cheeks, the hint of a shy smile gracing the edge of her lips.

“I bought you this so you would stop stealing my things, and vice versa…” Alaska began, her smile growing. “Because, if you wear this ring… what’s mine is yours. What’s yours is mine.”

Bianca scoffed from behind a wet t-shirt. “You call that a proposal, queen? Get down and say the damn words already!”

Sharon burst into laughter, the sound betraying her choked-up voice and the tears glistening in her eyes. Without breaking eye contact, Alaska lowered herself to the ground and looked up at her girlfriend.

“Will you marry me?”

She didn’t need an answer. Alaska was practically pulled to her feet, eagerly meeting Sharon’s lips with the same excitement of her now-fiancée as they embraced. Behind all the clothes, a few weak cheers arose, mostly lead by Courtney who sounded as though she were in tears herself.

“I love you,” Sharon whispered, hardly able to find her voice.

“I love you too.” Alaska whispered back.

“Alaska?” Sharon added, waiting for Alaska’s acknowledgement before continuing. “I’m gonna steal your fucking wedding dress.”

#purecamp #shalaska #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #mine and yours #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au