#i think i'm losing my marbles for real

[moongothic]

The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people

Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer

But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.

No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.

But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck

So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???

But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery

Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus

What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV

Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)

But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.

But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy

So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)

Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic

-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?

Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???

(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)

I just.

There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.

And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one

#Moon posting #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Haunted by thoughts of one (1) evil middle aged man #IDK I was rereading Punk Hazard today while on the train and just. God there's like no difference between Alabasta Croc and Ceasar #I mean there is but no there isn't. Dude was doing essentially the same shit just this time with much more child abuse #And we all agree that Ceasar is scum of the earth and irredeemable. #But also he was doing everything PURELY out of self-interest without ANY sad backstory to counter balance it #I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES #Kuma Flashback I Love You but I need to know what the fuck is happening with Crocodile so bad pleeeaaase #There's also like that note about Kuma saying he'd be wiling to make a deal with the devil just to protect his daughter #And If Crocodad Real. What a greater evolution of that but being wiling to BECOME the devil himself to protect your child #Also sorry about the Buggy slander but also not sorry. All that man is good for is being a punching bag for comedy as far as I'm concerned #He's very funny I'll give you that. And I'm looking forward to him and Shanks getting married

[cordeliawhohung]

People are so fucking outrageous you take some time for yourself that you told us you were taking and now they're up in your asks demanding stuff tell them to pay you for it, sincerely someone who doesn't mind waiting for whatever you post

on god i literally spent the last few days driving hours on end and just got back yesterday, today is my first full day back home. and i've been traveling out of town for the outreach clinic i have to work at the next few weeks, and even then i've still been writing allskdjf

lmfao i don't want to shit on that anon too much, and i'm def not trying to be rude or anything, but i'm also going to hijack your ask real quick to address stuff since i do have quite a few new followers.

while some users might not mind questions regarding when someone is updating/if they have anything planned for an ongoing series, and things like that, i specifically have it in my rules to please not do that, which is why i got a little short with them even though they arguably weren't being rude or malicious (unlike a few anons in the past have when asking things like that). this one is especially annoying because it's been literally eight days since i last updated for that, and i have other series i've been working on! like even though i'm not posting for it, i've still written a couple thousand words for pet!au, and i just finished a chapter for in limbo i'll have up for early access here in a bit, and then on tumblr probably tomorrow or wednesday.

but mostly, the reason why i specifically request that people don't ask if i have plans/when i'm updating/if i'm updating something is because i literally have an irl life. i've been pretty open recently about how i've been traveling and the work i've been doing, it's not a secret or anything lmao. it just feels... tone deaf, you know? like you come into my inbox not talking about the work, or what you like about it, or otherwise engaging with it, but just to ask if i'm giving you more, like i didn't just do that a week ago. hell, even if it's been months or years that's still rude imo because if you like something enough, then you'd probably be doing more than just asking for more, ya know? at least that's how it comes across to me. and like i said before, some people really don't care, which is why i made sure to specify it in my rules, because i do care. it ruins my mood to write and create because then it feels like a chore and people are waiting on me just to consume it and then beg for more rather than tell me what they actually enjoyed about the work lmao.

anyway, no hard feelings against that anon at all, i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, so please don't show them any hate or anything. but just use this as a reminder to read the rules of the blogs you interact with please. or at least don't be surprised when you do something that irks them and then they're annoyed at you because of it lmao.

sorry about the rant in the tags

#core responds #like i think i even wrote a little blurb in in answer about ps!gaz yesterday or something like that too #about his breeding kink lmao #and like how else am i supposed to respond to that type of ask besides yes or no? #like i'm not going to spoil what i have planned #that was also supposed to be a fun little series to work on inbetween my larger projects #and now it feels like a chore! #i'm glad you all love the man but #you act like i haven't written 22 things for him since april #i am not an endless content machine and that's what those asks make me feel like!!! #also why do i get those asks RIGHT when i start talking about something else? #like my mafia au? #speaking of that #i actually forgot to add a lot of my mafia au drabbles to my 2024 works #i'm actually at a 180k words for this year! #so literally!!! #i am writing so fucking much! #180k words in a little over 5 months!!! #and it's still “are you writing more” #fucking hell #okay rant over i've got like 5k words of in limbo to edit #actually no not over #i wrote literally 3k fucking words today #imagine working all day and being proud of yourself and posting about it and someone has to come in and be like “but what about this series #what about it bro? #i'll fucking get to it #i get you don't have to read every series i put out but let me work at my own damn pace #okay rant over for real now otherwise i will lose my marbles

[urf1lterr]

afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]

"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"

previous chapter: [1]

summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.

pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader

genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature

word count: 15k

status: 2/3 complete

author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.

"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"

"Andrew!"

"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.

It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.

So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.

The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.

Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.

Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.

You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.

Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.

You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.

And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.

To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."

In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.

Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.

Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.

Which you weren't, obviously.

Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.

Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."

Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."

Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.

She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.

"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"

Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"

"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."

"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."

"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."

"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."

"I never said I was stressing over hi-"

"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."

Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.

Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"

Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.

But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?

Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.

"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."

"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."

Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"

"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."

"I don't get it."

Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."

Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."

"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.

A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.

Because they really wanted to know the drama.

Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.

Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"

"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."

Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.

Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."

Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.

Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.

"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."

Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."

Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.

"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"

Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"

"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.

"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.

"Was it?"

"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"

"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"

Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.

"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."

Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"

Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."

"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.

You had to for your own good.

"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."

"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.

You wish you knew.

"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."

"Did that work?"

Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."

You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.

But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.

That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.

Like always.

"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."

Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."

It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.

You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.

But you were human and sometimes humans act human.

"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"

Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."

Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"

"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.

Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.

"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."

Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."

It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.

"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"

"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.

"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.

"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."

"What did he say?"

"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.

He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.

"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"

Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.

He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.

You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."

Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"

Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"

Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"

"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."

Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."

If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.

"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.

"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"

"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."

Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.

Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"

"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.

Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.

Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.

But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.

"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"

Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"

Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"

Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.

At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.

If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.

Or anger across.

But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.

Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.

"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"

Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"

"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"

"We get it."

Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.

"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"

"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"

Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.

"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.

But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.

Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"

"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.

Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"

"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"

Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"

"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.

"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"

"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.

What a way to dismiss your feelings.

"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"

"I can't do that either!"

"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."

As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.

"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."

He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.

Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.

Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.

"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"

"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."

"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.

Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"

Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."

"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.

"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.

"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.

"I mean he did promise her it."

Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."

"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.

Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"

"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.

She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."

"And how long did that last?"

Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."

"Over?"

Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."

"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."

"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."

Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"

Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.

Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.

"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.

Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.

Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.

"Spill the beans."

Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.

Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.

Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"

Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.

"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."

Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.

He did neither one.

Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?

"And who were you with?"

He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."

Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"

After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"

Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.

It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.

"Well, why didn't you at least text?"

Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."

"And that's bad?"

He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."

Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."

"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.

"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.

"Let me finish the story!"

Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.

Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.

"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.

Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-

Point is- always wear protection.

Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-

"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."

Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"

Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.

"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.

His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.

That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.

At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.

"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.

There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.

Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.

And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?

Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."

You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.

"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."

"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."

Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."

"Continue!"

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.

Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.

For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.

You accepted.

Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.

You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.

Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.

"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"

"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.

Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.

A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."

Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.

It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.

"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.

Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.

"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."

Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"

"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."

Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.

"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.

"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.

Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"

Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."

Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."

Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"

Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.

"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."

"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.

He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.

"I know but I had a crammed morning-"

"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."

Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.

"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.

And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.

Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"

"Y/n?!"

Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.

Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."

"You tricked me!"

"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.

Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.

"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.

"They were gummy supplements!"

Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"

Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"

Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.

"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.

Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?

"That's who you are to me now."

Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.

It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.

"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.

Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.

Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.

Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.

You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.

Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.

Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.

You hit him.

"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-

"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.

"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"

Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.

Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.

Sighing in relief, he did.

Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.

Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"

Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.

Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."

Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.

Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?

"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."

Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.

"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."

Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.

"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.

"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"

"Shut up, Andrew."

"Sorry, go on."

Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.

This was not going to end well.

"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.

"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.

Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"

Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.

Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."

"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"

"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.

Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.

"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."

Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.

But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.

"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."

"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."

"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"

"Then why did you sleepover?!"

"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.

"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.

Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"

"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.

Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.

"Come here."

Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"

Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.

It was...peaceful.

Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."

Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.

And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.

Every single time.

You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.

Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.

"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"

Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.

You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.

"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."

Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.

"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."

"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."

"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.

What an emotional day it has been.

-

"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.

Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.

Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.

Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.

You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.

Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.

It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.

But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."

As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.

She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.

Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.

But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.

However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.

Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.

Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.

After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.

"What's up?"

She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"

Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.

Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're thinking about him, huh."

Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.

"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.

"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"

Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."

"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."

"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."

She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.

She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.

But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.

"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."

"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."

"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.

That must mean something.

Did it?

Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."

"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"

Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.

"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."

"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.

There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.

"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."

Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.

Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.

The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.

"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.

Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.

What can you say- she was a charmer.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.

"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"

Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.

Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!

Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.

"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."

"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."

With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.

Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"

"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"

Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.

You.

"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."

Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.

You got nothing.

Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.

For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.

As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.

There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.

Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.

Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.

"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."

"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.

Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.

It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.

In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.

And you call yourself an actress.

Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.

You didn't.

Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."

Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"

"No, I had it on me during the previews."

"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."

Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.

Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.

Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.

Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.

Gross.

Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.

"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.

Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!

The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.

How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?

"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.

Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.

Smart.

Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?

Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.

But now he's...walking away?

"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.

You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.

Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."

Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."

Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.

He really was over you.

"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."

Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."

Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."

Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."

Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.

In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.

"And I take that back but-"

Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."

Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."

Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."

Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.

Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.

You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.

"Typical? What do you mean by that?"

"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."

You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?

"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."

"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.

Very poetic.

Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"

Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."

Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.

Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"

"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."

Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.

"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.

"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."

"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"

Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."

Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"

Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"

Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."

"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."

"I didn't plan on that happening a-"

"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.

You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.

"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"

"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."

You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?

"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"

"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.

He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.

And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.

He didn't.

"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."

This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"

"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."

High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.

"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.

Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.

He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.

Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.

You fucked up- for real this time.

In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.

Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.

Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.

And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.

But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.

"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."

"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.

"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."

Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"

Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.

But he knew he'd be lying.

"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."

"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."

"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."

With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.

You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?

Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."

Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"

"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"

Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."

"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."

Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.

Ring? As in, an engagement ring?

Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"

Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.

Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.

If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.

Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.

Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"

"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."

Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"

"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.

"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.

You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.

And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.

+

tagslist: @d4rno @ddeonmixx @sloanexx @soilaluna @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @floralsightings @prettiestmark @queereddie @beltzboys2015-blog @valopz @thhriller @lovebynorth @tomorrowseverything @cheesemittens @jasminedragoon @prettyinpunk85 @marysucks-blog @iwillbiteabitch @daddy-din @blacklist07 @amberpanda99 @sciencebros1128 @jklkverr @nini123 @miss-goldenweek @pedropascalfan221 @sagggy @aphrcdites @spacelatinos4life @esstark @tongibatongi @maviee @gimalo135 @spicymochi15 @kittenlittle24

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #tlou #tlou joel #pascalispunk #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff #pedropascaledit #fanfiction

[charliemwrites]

Feral just like me frfr. Sometimes I too, lose my marbles and have to bite somebody lol. One of the things that gets me the absolute most about this AU is that feral and Simon are stuck in this never ending feedback loop. The more "feral" feral gets and the more they lean on Simon, the more Simon is like, "Yes, they needed me, and needed this, see how right I am about taking them?" And so he's completely justified in his actions, and the way he treats Feral. Meanwhile, the more he treats feral like a little creature, the more they lean into the unspoken rules and change themselves into what Simon is making them, the more they prove to Simon (and also kinda themselves, YAY STOCKHOLM) that they did need him, causing the feedback loop to continue. I just have so many thoughts about the whole thing, and it's killing me (in a delicious way).

Does feral get internet privileges/electronics privileges? I'm kinda half and half on it, because A) she could reach out to other people and B) maybe it keeps her a little less feral than Simon wants bc it reminds her of her old life. But, it's also a pretty good source of entertainment and given that Simon liked Feral before she was really feral, I have a hard time seeing him forcing her to give up something like that, that might be really important to her. and if somebody told me I couldn't play my silly little games anymore, I think that would tick me off real bad. Because he definitely wants to cut her off from the world, but he doesn't want to change everything about her, including her hobbies.

I might be talking crazy, I think the brain worms are acting up again. (Also, that Price and obedient piece was so good *chef's kiss* just what the doctor ordered lol)

-🏺 (EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD, may your pillows always be warm in winter and cold in the summer)

Hey 🏺!! I am adoring the Thoughts™️ and that is an absolutely brilliant analysis and very much something that has become canon to this universe.

As far as internet privileges go - in the beginning she was not allowed internet. As far as he’s concerned there’s plenty of tv with all the streaming services and apps, even YouTube! She’s also got books and crafts and journals and other things to distract her. However if it’s something she really wants later on and asks for, she’d be allowed supervised internet time. As in, he’s in the same room keeping an eye on things. She’s welcome to her games, but no social media accounts since people can be on most of them without making an account.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

TKATB - Theories, wahoo.

This will contain spoilers for Days 1 and 2 of @fantasia-kitt 's 'The Kid At The Back', along with containing mentions of material found on her Twitter (https://twitter.com/fantasia_kitt).

This is mostly based off things I've picked apart and/or kinda pieced together. If you feel I'm incorrect, or am missing something; hell, if you have any theories of your own, please share!

Anyway, the actual theories (apologies in advance if the rambling is...uh...too rambly).

- Okay, so considering the fact Jess was moved into the ‘Lower Class’ school, it means that she either failed a class or got a ‘violation’ (those are the conditions for being moved down, according to Hyugo). Brittney mentioned how ‘confident and loud’ Jess is when she’s angry, and Brittney apparently was popular at some point, but lost it at the party (it was mentioned a few times by Deryl) 2 years ago due to an incident. I think maybe Brittney was being bullied and Jess lost her shit, maybe even got physical? And that led to the duo being sent to the ‘Lower Class’ school.

- Subaru (Geo) and Hyugo are mentioned to be brothers, but Hyugo says “Subaru! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!”, which could mean Geo (due to him being rich af) was moved down as well??? Hyugo and Geo are brothers but have different surnames, so I have a feeling (also because Geo is said to have daddy issues by Fantasia herself), that maybe Subaru Oogami and Hyugo Sugimoto aren’t related.

- Continuing that, Hyugo is the ‘traitor’ that the ‘Rough-Voiced Man’ was looking for in the cinema, so he’s obviously affilated with some dodgy people, and we know he hates injustice, so perhaps he is a mercenary or assassin of sorts (he did canonically kill somebody, with Sol witnessing it, check Fantasia’s twitter); and that could be why Geo avoids him? Hell, why does Subaru even go by Geo? Is it a codename, like Geo Sugimoto, is he hiding his real identity?

- With the person who threatened MC and their father with taking the farm, and the Marie Antoinette references, maybe the ‘handsome man’ is Crowe’s father? Hell, maybe even Eries, the fuchsia-eyed celebrity Jess loves. Along with that, the 'moral' I suppose of her biography was along the lines of: change is inevitable, either you deny it, or accept it. It'll happen anyway, what changes is your role and reaction to it (say you choose Crowe, Sol'll lose his marbles; if you choose Sol, Crowe might move on...unless he's also insane but I doubt it).

- Flowers seem to be important symbolism-wise, like the carnation and passionflower mentions made by Crowe (carnations can mean love for someone, or purity if white, or rejection/disappointment if yellow. Passionflowers mean renewal and hope I think). Brugmansia is also a poisonous flower, so it hints to Sol being a ‘poison’ that could kill us.

- I've seen this mentioned by @sweet-herbal-peach-tea (I'm sorry for tagging you anon, I wanted to credit you; also check their theories out as well anons), but I'll add it here anyway: With the prominence of Edgar Allan Poe's 'Annabel Lee', it could hint to Sol having loved us either in a past life...or...maybe we - the MC - look identical to a past lover of his, one who maybe passed; and he's deluded himself into thinking we are them?

Now for my favourite ones:

- The Hallow’s Ball, the event Deryl mentions on the groupchat, is on Friday. Assuming the game will be 7 days long and that Day 1 is Monday, that means Day 5 is crucial. It could be a catalyst, hell it may even decide what ending you get (Fantasia said there’ll probably be about 5, 1 true, 2 good, 2 bad; albeit that could change). Geo mentions he doesn’t want to go, neither does Brittney, but I think she will due to the fact Jess is. It may decide whether you choose Crowe or Sol, along with finalising relations with the other characters.

- Hyugo also mentions ‘taking care of Sol for him’, implying his absence…or even death. Hyugo pulls a gun on a person who seems to know him, maybe the boss of a crime syndicate? Hyugo hates injustice, so maybe the missing persons cases are being caused by people Hyugo knows, and he wants to stop them? I think if Hyugo vanishes (hell, it’s already known that he doesn’t always show up to class), it might be a way to get more info out of Geo.

That’s all I got off the top of my head lol, if it seems janky, I'm sorry. ;^

And uuh...yeah. This is my first Tumblr post so yeah. Love this Visual Novel and cannot wait to see more! (Especially of Geode lmfao).

#the kid at the back sol #geo subaru oogami #sol brugmansia #the kid at the back #tkatb sol #crowe ichabod #jericho crowe ichabod #hyugo sugimoto #tkatb hyugo #the kid at the back hyugo #geo oogami #tkatb vn #brittney claire #jessie sitrus #deryl helianthus #i love this visual novel so much #repost #reminder that geo is superior #geo(de)

[liminalpebble]

Between the Lines, Chapter 4

Masterlist link

Minor DNI

Chapter 4

The words leave your mouth in a breathy hiss before you can possibly reel them back in.

“What are you doing?”

He releases his teeth from the soft skin between your neck and your shoulder to offer up a breathy chuckle. It fans over your skin like a brisk breeze and you shiver.

You're beginning to hate the sound of his laugh, and the sight of his smile; so haughty and superior and false. His mirth is a lie that doesn't fool you. The dark prince is deeply, terribly, alone, which might just be the key to unraveling the knots he's bound you in.

“I think we both know what I'm doing, my dear. The real question is, 'do you want me to stop?'.”

You hesitate, disoriented by his teasing and depleted from the vigilance his game requires of you. Your concentration truly enters its death throes once his graceful hand skims over your calf, up your thigh. His path lightly parts the delicate curtain of emerald fabric until he coaxes out a sliver of skin in his wake.

You gasp aloud, unable to silence or resist it, but still manage to say, “I wasn't aware I had a choice.”

“I'm not a barbarian. I want you to desire what I'm offering.”

As if to emphasize exactly what he's offering, Loki tilts his slim hips ever-so-subtly to press against you more firmly. His knuckles skim further up to the swell of your bare hip, then he cups it in his wide palm, kneading the supple flesh he finds there.

“I...I don't know. I can't...think. I'm so tired, Sire.” You delicately move the velvet back over your flesh, hoping it won't anger him.

It almost does, but as soon as the tide rises it recedes. The Prince is not accustomed to being denied exactly what he wants, exactly when he wants it. At first, Loki's eyes squint and lips harden into a firmer line, but then you turn to face him.

He hadn't braced himself for that; the way your doe eyes implore him for mercy, for some humanity, for empathy. He wasn't prepared to feel the way he does when your hand settles on his chest, directly over his heart where it drums hidden beneath his leather shell.

Flustered, Loki scolds himself with distaste, flustered and blushing like a bashful school boy, not a prince.

It's becoming unnerving...

It's becoming unnerving, the way those aquamarine eyes bore into you while he contemplates. He stares inscrutably. Yet, here, so close, the nearness makes him seem more like a real man and less like an archetype, or a god, or a prince. Simply a man.

His thin lips are chapped with a pale pink blossom; evidence of a nervous habit of biting his lip. There are faint lines of worry around his eyes and mouth, not at all unattractive, just telling.

You fight the sympathy away, forcing yourself to remember that this is an ancient troubled deity holding you in his arms; a dangerously exhausted god, slowly losing his brilliant mind from lack of companionship.

You vacillate between terror of the god and sympathy for the man.

To your own surprise, your sympathy wins. Before you know it, before you can stop yourself, your hand cups his cheek and strokes softly, thumb traversing the severe contour under his cheekbone. His skin is so cold, like a marble statue standing untouched for years.

.First the prince flinches, then leans gingerly into your warmth. The muscle of his jaw relaxes as you graze it. He releases a tensely held breath and his shoulders lower. You suddenly feel as if you're taming a very ancient, dangerous, and reclusive animal. You have a wolf in the palm of your hand.

Loki preoccupies himself with rationalizing. It's alright..she's a “comfort woman” after all. This is the whole point, I suppose. And it is...so...comfortable.

You swallow hard and your breath turns baited. You resist a buzzing tremble which threatens your limbs. How long can this truce last before his jaws snap shut around you?

“You're so tired, too, aren't you. It's alright to rest,” you finally say, meeting his eyes.

It's sincere...so sincere that Loki feels his heart burst like a supernova for you, and he scrambles to hide it. He clears his throat and sits up straighter.

“Ah...yes...tired. It's been a long day for us both, hasn't it?”

You nod in relief. He smiles and his laugh lines reveal themselves with some genuine warmth..finally.

He stands and takes your hand, enveloping it with his own. He leads you to his bed, but not at all in the way you assumed he would when you knocked on that door so many hours ago.

-----

In the dark plush chamber of his bedroom, a fragrant fire burns. The golden glow, the heat, and the sweet, earthy incense of burning cedar and sandalwood lull you further towards slumber.

He glides up to you and whisks your hair from your shoulder with a graze of his knuckles. As his fingertips touch down, a fizzle of green luminescence ripples over your body. His almost-comically large robe transforms into a cozy nightgown.

His eyes flick between you and the floor as he bites his lip and taps his fingers where they still rest on you shoulder.

“I hope this is satisfactory?”

“Yes...thank you, Sire.”

He winces, still looking away.

“Please, stop doing that. Use my name.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

Finally his eyes meet yours and he smiles bashfully as he says, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You settle into a nest of the plushest bedding you've ever felt in your life; satins, silks, and warm furs in a symphony textures, serenading you in the most perfect tactile lullaby.

He smirks, watching your lashes flutter shut and your breathing slow almost immediately.

What a precious little creature.

He hovers his hand above your head, about to stroke your hair, kiss your forehead, and wish you sweet dreams...but he stops. He yanks his hand back and rolls his eyes.

He ruminates and shakes his head as he withdraws to removes his leathers, piece by piece.

What am I doing with her? And why do I care? This isn't what I planned.

His coat drops, shed like snakeskin. The long lean muscles of his torso and arms undulate as he peels the rest over his head. It feels pleasant when a draft cools his bare skin after hours in thick formal clothing...pleasant, but vulnerable.

Even though you're already fast asleep, he feels oddly exposed by dressing for bed with you in the room. What would you think of the cold hard edges of his body? The iron rigidity of his spine? The battle scars etched in faint pink across the alabaster skin of his broad shoulders and rib cage? There's a reason why he dresses the way he does, surrounded by bronzed, golden-haired warriors with bared arms like tree trunks...

Warriors like my brother, he thinks bitterly.

The thought makes him hurry to cover himself again, this time in lusciously soft nightclothes. He turns to watch you again and the bitter taste in his mouth turns sweet as honey.

The fluid amber light suits you, sweet and soft, reclined in his bed.

He can't stop thinking about you.

How your fragrant hair felt, flowing between his fingers.

How your voice danced over the words while you read. How he ached to taste those delicious words directly from your mouth, your lips, you tongue.

How your trembling body fell gradually under the spell of his touch.

The taste of you, gods, the taste of your hot pulse beneath his lips and tongue and teeth, and now you've left him ravenous and incinerating.

Violent, animal need finds him easily again, and he groans softly as he storms into the other room. As soon as the heavy oak door closes, he touches himself in the darkness, imagining your hands gently teasing the head of his cock instead of his own.

Yes...gentle...you would of course be so gentle. Your fingers would slide up, then circle around his shaft, tracing the calligraphy of raised veins before you move, rubbing from base to tip rhythmically, spreading the liquid already seeping as you move faster and faster.

He stifles a pathetic moan with his free hand over his mouth. His Adam's apple bobs with a strained swallow as he comes back down into his body, panting. Loki is flooded with relief, followed immediately by a strange unfamiliar shame.

Pathetic, he thinks, The god of mischief, prince of Asgard, who has ordered others to kneel for centuries...brought to his knees in the dark by just the thought of this woman.

All the while, you, the sweet little librarian, sleep deeply and dream richly.

@lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @peaches1958 @thenerdyoldersister @thedistractedagglomeration @muddyorbs @mischief2sarawr @icytrickster17 @goblingirlsarah @sweetsigyn @unlucky-number-13 @mochie85 @acidcasualties @alexakeyloveloki @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @ladyofthestayingpower @mischiefmaker615 @loopsisloops @sailorholly @coldnique @smolvenger @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @gigglingtiggerv2 @anukulee @azula-karai-27 @eleniblue @marcotheflychair @litaloni @gruftiela @literatureatthebowofnails @meowmeow-motherfucker

#au loki x reader #au loki #pre-Thor 1 loki #loki fanfic #loki x femme reader #loki x reader #loki smut #dark!loki #The Holy Order of the Sacred Mango

[an-unraveling-unknown]

I feel like you saying this is like you're setting up a trap for me like:

🪤

Well it worked, didn’t it?? /t

and AWJDHAKDHDFF THANK YOU!!! ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

FIRST OFF... my beloved piece of petrified wood. oouughfff oh man I love it so much, probably my favorite out of everything

previously-mentioned-in-another-post mystery rock!! still torn between it being either Amazonite or Adventurine

ROCK WITH HOLES!!!! found it at the beach, have since never parted with it

^^^ Aforementioned-in-another-post raw apatite :DD

Rocks I found by the lake and thought were nifty

SO MUCH RIVER ROCK!!! A bit of cool gravel in there as well, not to mention a few minerals (including feldspar and a small bit of fluorite that I did not in fact get from the river)

in order - Dalmatian Jasper, Amethyst (which is actually a type of purple mineral quartz!!), and Sodalite, my first bunch of collected crystals :DD

in order again, Tiger's Eye, Rose Quartz, and the infamous Adventurine!!

just cos' they're related in name terms, Bloodstone and Dragon's Blood Stone!! Dragon's Blood Stone is SO cool, the picture doesn't do it justice at all, but Bloodstone is still probably my favorite

SOME OF MY MOST FAVORITE OUT OF EVERYTHING (I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but I really do love all of these rocks n crystals n minerals very much) Kambaba Jasper [WHICH IS ACTUALLY SEDIMENTARY-FOSSILIZED ALGAE. LOSES MIND] Malachite [LOVE THAT SHIT] and Unakite [which is just so pleasant. looks like a grass n flower field someone could run through I ADORE IT]

Obsidian!! cool stuff, real shiny even without it being polished due to its microcystaline structure - if I recall correctly, its formed when volcanic magma cools so darn fast due to either water or air that the crystals it's composed of barely have any time to grow.

Strawberry Quartz and Agate!! Agate is really just quartz in structure, but it looks cooler so it has a separate name (don't quote me on that, I'm not a geologist), really pretty stuff - I don't quite recall where either of these came from actually, might've been a gift from a friend

Here we have Cream Yellow Onyx, which generally forms alongside Limestone (I think) and Howlite (which looks an awful lot like marble but its NOT, its actually a calcium borosilicate hydroxide mineral generally found in deposits of Something or Another <<< forgot)

lastly, MORE MYSTERY ROCK!! I thought this was Gneiss for a while, given it looks vaguely like a metamorphic rock and the color scheme isn't all that off, but it could also just be plain ol' granite (which Gneiss metamorphisizes from given enough heat and pressure)

(the orange veins here and there may or may not be iron/rusting - not entirely sure)

I think thats all of 'em! Thank you for humoring me friend lmao, I always forget how much fun I have rambling about geology :DD

#rocks #rock collection #salsa'd #geology

[bellaaldamas]

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOWKEY SHIPPED HILDISVÍNI AND SIF!!! The whole mending ties between the nations and realizing that they like each other as time goes on is so 😋

they’re great very slow slowburn material :D

This makes the two of us, then ;) Because admittedly, I wholeheartedly assumed it's my unapologetically pro-romance, "more girly interests and less male power fantasies in the media" self that invests in the potential of these two having a romantic relationship. On a serious note, a romantic arc with these characters opens innumerable possibilities for development and would serve as an excellent continuation of GowR message of moving on from toxic past and forging a better future of free will (first concept was the foundation of Freya's arc - especially Freya's missing peace side quest. Whereas the second one reflects Kratos and Atreus's journey - "so much to rebuild", Atreus embarking on his quest to find remaining giants; with Angrboda, yet again, honoring his decision and letting him go despite how difficult it was for her to part with him while also giving him the option to seek her out if he wanted to; hence gifting him her marble like he did his before).

Hildisvini is shown as a mentor type. He fulfilled a definite fatherly role for Freya and Freyr whereas with Atreus he didn't at all hold it against him that the latter mortally wounded him in his boar form (although that wound still gave Hildisvini trouble in his human form). Furthermore, he didn't baby or infantilize Atreus but rather saw him for a skilled young warrior with a lot of potential which he encouraged Atreus to use and treated him like an equal partner (another perfect mentor trait).

However, Hildisvini could benefit from abandoning the mentor role for a change and trying a different one, where he would have a partner-opponent whom he could have healthy and constructive arguments with and who would challenge him. Sif, showing her willingness to work with Hildisvini in the end in order to "rebuild" and create a better future, would, for her part, have the chance to partner with a self reliant and mentally independent man. A drastic change from her marriage to a passionate but spineless, easily manipulated late husband Thor. Who was never able break free from the toxic influence of his own father, even when he and Sif lost both sons because of Odin and were confronted with the risk of potentially losing their daughter. Who, despite being different and less self destructive than Magni and Modi, still absorbed her grandfather's problematic thinking and fell for his manipulations (such as when Thrud referred to Freya as Odin's "treacherous ex wife"). In that vein, Hildisvini's possible interactions with Thrud and an inevitable conflict would make for an interesting and necessary development for Thrud (as @stupidrant accurately pointed out in our recent exchange).

You're absolutely right about Hildisvini and Sif being a perfect slow burn material in a way that would logically fit into their story and characters as opposed to being a needlessly stretched out drama. Atreus and Angrboda, for instance, are more about open self expression and an unfolding in real time budding romance - the first such arc in Gow universe so far if I'm not mistaken (I've still yet to familiarize myself with the Greek saga), especially where first real and substantial feeling is concerned. Kratos and Faye were a classic "relationship of the past that the characters can never get back" (because - which is also a classical trope - one half of the pair has passed away) and that the leading character and the main story arc are fundamentally influenced by.

Sif and Hildisvini could provide a different but no less enticing type of romantic build up where two characters with rich personal history realize their attraction and feelings through active communication for the sake of the common cause.

#duck-noises #reply #text

[ghostoffuturespast]

WIP Whenever

Tagged by @heywoodvirgin @dreamskug @luvwich @corpocyborg & @baublekute! Thanks for thinking of me chooms! 🧡

Y'all have been busy this week. I like it.

Tagging, with no pressure: @heywoodvirgin @dreamskug @luvwich @corpocyborg @baublekute (ha!) @shimmer-like-agirl @spacervanguard @fly-amanitaa @merge-conflict @medtech-mara @wanderingaldecaldo @cyberholic77 @tarmac-rat

Your WIPs don't have to be writing either, or even CP2077 related, whatever creative things you feel like sharing. And feel free to cash the tag in now or two months from now, I don't care.

There's only one thing I'm working on rn. Like Grandpa, I'm losing my marbles along with this chapter. But some context before I share:

conjunction (noun)

a word used to connect clauses or sentences or to coordinate words in the same clause (e.g. and, but, if)

the action or an instance of two or more events or things occurring at the same point in time or space

The AV rose, slow before throttling up past the reaches of skyscrapers and towards the dominion of megabuildings, where the world simultaneously expanded and thinned. The real fairy tale land where giants overshadowed and caged the cluttered lives of all the protagonists below. Canting, the AV veered towards the neons of Japantown, the blinding billboards framed brilliant by the surrounding storm.  The sky and ground were reversed. Fake stars twinkling underneath their feet while a thin floor of metal kept them from being launched into the center of the earth by gravity. To be sucked into orbit at the mass center of everything. Rogue left the AV door open, unbothered by the wind and rain whistling in, at the rush of cold air that bit across their faces and the backs of their hands, at the beads of condensation gathering on their skin and soaking their clothes. Johnny’s knuckles whitened on the hand holds. Adjusting her grip on that slippery surface of a shared reality.    How long had it been since he’d seen Rogue’s hair tousled, gun strapped to her back, resolve steeled on her features? How long since V’d felt that bubbling surge of adrenaline that he used to live off of. That they and that black dog always needed. Ran after. Chased their tails for. It scared them.   What she thought. V feeling, Johnny thought. Thought Johnny, feeling V.   What he felt. For. Nor. Or. And. So. Yet. But, yet. And… The AV banked west and City Center came into view. They looked at that shitty heart tattoo on the inside of their right forearm.   And.

#cyberpunk 2077 #wip whenever #writing #fan fiction #fic: so it goes #johnny silverhand #oc: valerie hye jin li #my grandpa v #stinky not fresh #marbles gone #wip wednesday

[thehistoriangirl]

Until Our Secrets Drift Us Apart [7]

I apologize because I'm rusty after taking so long in posting a new part of this story, but I hope I will catch the rhythm soon :D

Viktor x Fem!Reader---Modern AU/Marriage of Convenience--- 3.1K ---SFW

> MASTERLIST <- Previous // Next ->

Summary: Upon the surprising death of the CEO of Daxer Corp., the battle for the presidential chair began with unexpected violence. Threaten to lose everything you’ve been working on during your entire life; it’s time you must find a desperate solution to grasp the control over your part of the emporium, and even your own freedom. Which better idea than solidifying your subsidiary's future than ally with the rising tech company, HexTech? And oh, what a special type of alliance it would be…  

Tags: Not-So-Forced Proximity| Marriage of Convenience| Strangers to Lovers| Drama & Romance| Eventual Smut| Domestic Fluff| Post-Wedding|  Not Really Unrequited Love| Fake Dating| Eventual Happy Ending

Chapter Summary: The hunt for your mother's lost will hasn't ended, but Viktor is there to give you words of comfort when you need them--and perhaps even more than that. If you're willing to take it.

7: What Blooms in Winter

Mrs. Emma Quivar was all business when you crossed the spotless threshold of her office outlined in stainless iron and black marble.

Gone were the days where she would greet you with a kiss on the cheek while visiting your mother for business; but you weren’t the same shy teenager wishing to take the least space possible in the enormous penthouse your mother called home anymore.

You still remembered your mother’s words when Emma gestured for you to sit down, with her stubbornly chastising you to erase the word ‘friend’ while regarding her business partners. At the time, you considered it like another of your mother’s quirks, but now you had understood it, a tad too late, maybe.

“My child, hello, hello,” Emma said, her hands gesturing away for you to sit across from her. “I didn’t think you’d have a lovebird tucked away from the eyes of the family.” She chuckled, her gaze miniaturized by her glasses, and yet still piercing to rummage your thoughts. “Your mother would have loved to know about him, that way she wouldn’t have left thinking you were all alone.”

You doubted your mother would care for such a thing if that would’ve happened.

She decided not to marry for a reason, despite the countless business proposals laid over her desk. Just as she thought that there were only business partners instead of friends, she thought so of romantic relationships, carrying in the memories of the Daxer’s tradition of marrying by sole mutual convenience instead of real feelings. Those were frivolities that not even the real frivolities of wealth and power could meet all the time.

Or else—that was something no Daxer was inclined to even consider.

“I see you have read the news,” you muttered. Or perhaps someone had let her know.

“I wonder how you kept it hidden from your mother.” Her black eyes pierced you as Quivar looked at you for the first time, adjusting her glasses to look away from the computer. “You only work and go home. Where did you meet him? He’s… somewhat attractive, I’d say.”

A scoff was about to break free. You were too tired from your family trip for these games.

“Do you keep a copy of my mother’s will? I need it.” Emma was a placeholder in the stock bureau, not much, but she would be interested in how the fight for the CEO position will develop. I know you were appointed with one copy.

Just as the other two ex-business partners of your mother, who preferred to bet on the more obvious winner of the competition, Mathieu.

"Hmmm. And how much will you value a thing such as that?" Emma said, with a hand on her heart. “I held your mother’s friendship very close to my heart.”

It was always about taking. Demand with an unfair deal—and you were also guilty of this, asking Viktor to fake a marriage with you, dragging him into this chaos for a menial reward.

Spend all those upcoming years with you when he could go on and live his life, find certainty instead of more questions after every not-so-accidental touch, the moments right after separating away from a kiss.

Your eyes hardened. “What do you want?”

She pointed at her computer with a sigh. “HexTech is such an ever-growing enterprise; from industrial mechanics to more specialized fields. It has a bright future." Emma smiled. "I hope some of its light can be cast upon me."

Your lips parted, the answer surprising you both.

“No.” Words stern and cold. “I don’t own HexTech, I can’t integrate a new shareholder without consulting it with the board.” Most importantly, consulting it with Viktor and Jayce. It was their dream, after all. You didn’t have any right to tamper with it. “I can give a percentage of my company, FireBird Security, but HexTech is off-limits.”

Emma crossed her arms, the red blazer she wore getting all wrinkled. “Why is that? Your husband won’t approve, by any chance?” She said, her eyes twinkling with mockery. “I thought he loved you dearly.”

“I love him dearly, that’s why I’m not doing anything behind his back.”

The silence hung heavy between you two, both your and her eyes widened,  lips slightly ajar at the sudden outburst.

Your heart picked up speed, skin got hotter, almost prickling with shame. What was that? Standing up with a jump, you decided to cut the meeting short as now it was clear that Emma wasn't on your side anymore—if she even was at the beginning.

Emma clicked her tongue. “You’re still very naïve,” she told you. “To think that man wouldn’t have accepted already if given the chance of being in your place.”

You conjured Viktor's golden eyes shining like molten gold against the evening sun, the chestnut locks of his hair moving with the soft breeze that smelled like grass and summer flowers as you cradled his head on your lap.

You chuckled, amused at Emma’s words, thinking that they had gotten out Léonie’s first, echoed in this office as your aunt poisoned her mind. 

“Say hello to my aunt once you reunite again,” you stated toward her, your eyes boring holes into her face as you glared at her from above your shoulder before closing the door with a slam.

It was so easy for Léonie to move across society picking her best moves while you struggled to even get a foot in this place, which one each day you were convinced wasn’t for you.

Would the voices that whispered usurper ever cease? Even if you got to sit in the CEO's chair? Because you could imagine them bouncing, reverberating with an endless echo inside such a big and quiet office.

What would have been of you if your mother had never adopted you?

For a moment, a childish part of you imagined you working in a suburban area of this bustling city, crossing paths with Viktor once by crossing a street, with either of you looking back.

You couldn't know if the strange sensation located in your chest was sadness, or the eerily unfamiliar sense of relief.

The cozy apartment smelled like coffee when you opened the door, a warm air coming from the swinging door against the chill of the arriving autumn outside.

Viktor was hunched over the coffee table in the living room, papers scattered everywhere alongside a pen that had exploded, stains of blue ink shining against the lamp nearby. Rio was nuzzled against some blankets, deeply asleep.

His brows frowning in focus relaxed at the sight of you, his golden gaze turned toward your figure as you were taking your shoes off.

He smiled. “Hello,” he said, the pen held in his hands clicking in a rapid rhythm as he flapped it between his fingers. “I made coffee, please feel free to drink some.” Viktor chuckled. “It wouldn’t do good to, eh, drink it all by myself.”

“Thank you,” you said, taking off the coat that now was too warm inside the cocoon of the apartment. “I think I’ll take some tea, though.” You tried to smile when he looked at you. “I need something… relaxing.”

Viktor settled down the papers then, taking the handle of his cane tucked in the armrest. “Did your meeting go badly?” he muttered, standing up to walk toward you.

You nodded, trying to curve your lips upward without much success. You didn't wish to burden him with your problems—despite how much you had dragged him already. Sometimes such thoughts kept you up at night, looking at the dim golden light of the living room lamp on way past 1 AM. And you couldn't help but wonder if, in those hours when the silence ate you away, he was regretting his choice.

“I’ll make you a hot chocolate, hmm?” Viktor was already walking toward the kitchen.

“You don’t have to,” you heard yourself stutter. “I’m sure you’re busy.” Just like you, he always was.

Viktor gestured away. “Don’t worry about it. Jayce always tells me I have to take small breaks.” He looked at you with a little smile. “Maybe I’ll start following his advice.”

“With some luck, not all his advice,” you mumbled, which made him chuckle.

“If you think his advice is… questionable, you should wait to hear mine,” Viktor told you, an eyebrow raised.

“Please do tell,” you said, with him helping to pull out a stool in front of the breakfast bar.

“Well, I think—"

You decided the bad idea of opening a package of cookies that were lying there, the sound waking the cockatoo up, who squeaked “Viktor!” before flying to pose next to you in the breakfast bar, her little head bobbing side to side as she looked at your fingers sheepishly taking a cookie out.

“No, Rio. We’ve talked about that,” Viktor scolded her.

You raised the cookie toward the bird. “Here,” you told her in the softest voice you could manage.

Rio lounged at it, breaking the surface with its beak. But then she noticed that you weren’t pulling the treat away, only rotating it so she could bite into it again.

It could be that Viktor was surveilling her, but Rio started to bite slower, her head gently tilting toward the cookie. Even so, you gave Viktor the remaining core of it so he could feed her so close to his fingers. You could still remember the hot pain of the bird’s beak.

“Say thank you, Rio,” Viktor said once the cookie had gone into her stomach.

The bird flapped her wings, flying away toward Viktor’s room.

“Rio!”

"It isn't necessary," you said, although amused by your (fake) husband's relationship with his pet. In other circumstances, you would've joked that Rio was that adopted daughter reticent of trusting her new stepmother. "Don't worry about it."

Rio squeaked, returning triumphant over the breakfast bar. She wobbled to step in front of you, dropping a sunflower seed near your hand and then flying away as quickly as she had arrived.

You looked at the seed. “This is for you.” You held it between your fingers, offering it to Viktor.

“Oh no, no.” Viktor was smiling, gently wrapping his hand over yours with shy fingers, a touch barely as light as the morning sun cast over your face in early spring. “That’s for you.” He chuckled. “A little gift.”

You felt his warm fingers beneath your hand slightly cold from just being outside, your eyes drawn to his in a gentle motion that still made your heart jump. “Maybe I should plant it, and see what blooms from it,” you muttered.

“I have a little pot,” he answered in the same tone, his hand still hovering over yours.

“Then it’ll be like our little child?” You couldn’t stop yourself from saying, feeling stupid as soon as the words were gone from your mouth and into the world.

Instead of hearing a mocking laugh, or to feel his awkward gaze, Viktor smiled and nodded. "Don't let Rio hear this but… yes," he said, leaning against you to mutter such a secret. "And something tells me that it will be as pretty as its mother.”

You giggled like a fool, feeling your face starting to feel hot.

It wasn't impossible not to take him, the way his face was highlighted by the dim golden light from the living room against the bright white bulb in the kitchen, how his eyes diverged from your eyes toward your lips.

Your fingers grabbed the edge of the bar to lean against him, closing the seemingly abysmal distance between each other’s lips.

Always taking.

Today, though, you wished to give.

Shyness tried to overcome your bold move, redirecting the motion of your lips to pose toward his cheek instead, in a mere fleeting peck. Yet, your resolution was higher, closing your eyes shut with force as if you were about to jump off a cliff.

He tasted like coffee, the motion of his open lips slow and unsure, scared you’d pull him away after realizing your mistake.

Though in this moment you could barely register the action like so. It felt… right, something supposed to be. And even if part of you stayed thrilled at the thought, the other was terrified.

Viktor's hand slipped into the curve of your hip, his fingers finding soft and aching skin, wishing for his touch without realization.

If you’d lived in a lie for the last couple of months, what would Viktor consider your relationship to be? Especially with so many blurry lines starting to conjoin and erase in unknown patterns to try and figure out the result—would it be chaos or art?

One moment, you were still in the kitchen with the purr of the milk starting to boil, and the other you were standing at the edge of the restaurant rooftop, with the wind blowing cold at your back and Viktor's warmth hugging you closer, both trying to take you in and to cover you from the harshness of the world.

Who knew what else you'd done if the stove wasn’t starting to hiss in anger from the abandonment of the milk that was threatening with spilling out the pot.

Viktor muttered a curse that you couldn't listen to, not between the cacophony of your beating heart and the sounds of your obnoxiously loud breath.

He went to pour a tablet of chocolate inside the milk, stirring the contents until the forming foam went away. You stayed sitting across from him on the breakfast bar, playing with the little seed inside your sweaty palms.

“Um…” you said, cringing at the sound of your voice in such a quiet room. "You said you have a piece of advice for me?"

Viktor’s cheeks were bright pink, eyes glued to the hot chocolate in the making.

“Eh, yes.” He cleared his throat. “Well, my advice may sound bland, but I think you can make good use of it. I’ve noticed that we have more in common than… ah—than we might initially thought.”

You blinked, it wasn’t at all surprising. You barely saw each other between the long journeys from work, the only sign of companionship being the slits of light filtering beneath the bedroom doors at night.

“Which is why I struggle with asking for help,” Viktor muttered, taking two cups from the cupboard and pouring steaming hot cocoa inside them. “Which is why I would like to offer you my help in anything you could… eh, need.”

You were about to protest, the phrase, ‘you don’t have to’ almost slipping out your lips.

“I don’t do it out of obligation,” Viktor stated, giving you one of the cups and settling in a seat across from yours. “I mean it.”

That was the scary part, because if he did—then what?

“I… I don’t know if I can give you that back. What you’re giving me.”

“I don’t seek retribution,” Viktor called your name, hands hovering as if trying to land atop yours.

“That’s unfair,” you said, thinking about all the passing deals and contracts you’d done in the past, all the infinite pile you’d do for the rest of your life, and how to think of Viktor like just a passing signature between all those pages made you feel.

“Perhaps.” He nodded. “But I won’t pressure you. I know what was getting myself into, and I abide by it, by all of it.”

It was the first time in the day that you smiled, lips curved and with your eyes crinkling close in half-moons.

“Thank you, Viktor.” His words had stirred an idea.

He copied your smile, the glimpse of his teeth glistening against the white bulb of the kitchen lamp. “Of course,” he simply said, sitting idly and silent until you had drunk all the hot chocolate and waiting for you to excuse yourself toward your bedroom.

You'd wish to say that night your dreams came easier, but instead, you felt your thoughts going in circles as fast as a hurricane's, pouring rain of ideas and possible paths to enter between the storm that was starting to form ahead.

The next day, Viktor and you took the day off due to a sudden snowfall that had covered the roads back to the metropolis.

You were ready to start with the preparations of your upcoming plan, yet alas, you knew you needed to visit someone in person to strike ideas first, especially after all the time you spent apart.

He knocked on your bedroom to give you a small plant pot on the side of your hand right after having breakfast together, the ambiance still charged with the unprompted kiss from last night.

“You can use soil from the plants on the balcony," Viktor told you, his cane tapping the floor. “I will go to buy some more later. Ah—yes, I put some of Rio’s seed peels at the bottom, like compost.”

Thanking him, you waited to hear his bedroom door close before emerging toward the living room, scooting to see if Rio was free before opening the balcony door, shivers running down your spine with the sudden freezing air blowing across your face.

“It’s too cold to put you outside,” you said to no one in particular, because the seed was inside your bedroom, over the nightstand. The sky was pure grey, and white snow starting to get dirty with the kids and the cars as the suburbs started to stir with life.

Then, you settled the little pot by the window, making a small hole in the middle with your finger, plopping the little, lonely seed inside, and then lovingly covering it with the black soil that was starting to make your fingers grow cold. It was humid already, so you let it be.

You hoped the plant would survive the inclement weather, that perhaps, once it grew bigger, you could get it another, bigger pot.

The only thing you could do was wait—perhaps the most terrifying thing in a world you were convinced would fail you.

#viktor x reader #arcane viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #viktor x you #arcane viktor x you #viktor arcane x you #viktor fanfic #arcane viktor #viktor arcane #arcane x female reader #viktor arcane x f!reader

[shunin-gumis]

Nagi Hachinoya Novel

Essence of a Bouquet

Track 04 - The Paradigm Shift from Asset Meditation

I changed the title of the novel to "Essence of a Bouquet" because I noticed it was actually on the novel cover in English.

Warning: Lots of cursing from Ryui's potty mouth.

A few days later.

Nagi "Ok, all good."

I feel my energy renew as I check my appearance in the mirror. I need to grasp the concept of Secret Energy soon, for the sake of everyone's happiness.

The Asset Meditation that Master Hideko taught us… I'll attain the paradigm shift today for sure.

The preparations are done.

With the healing track that was distributed at the last gathering, I wrap aluminium foil around my head and dance in place.

Just then.

Ryui "Oi Hachinoya…"

Ryui enters my room without even knocking.

Ryui "What the- have you finally lost your marbles!?"

Ryui shouted while gaping wide at my appearance.

~

Ryui "Sit your ass down! Seriously, have you really lost your mind? Ah that's right, you'd already lost it long ago didn't you."

Nagi "Ouch."

Toi "Nagi-kun… why did you wrap aluminium foil around your head?"

Nagi "Apparently when you wear it you can have a deeper connection to the Secret Energy."

Ryui had dragged me to the living room, where Toi was gazing at me with worry.

The interrogation soon started.

Ryui "What the hell was that weird-ass dance you were doing, it was gross as hell."

Nagi "It's called Asset Meditation."

Toi "Nagi-kun, who taught you that?"

Nagi "Master Hideko."

Ryui "Who the fuck is that!"

Ryui was looking at me as if I'd grown two heads.

To think he hasn't heard of Master Hideko…. Ryui must be a fake spiritual medium then.

Toi "I've heard about her before. She's called the Flower Princess Master Hideko right?"

Ryui "Seriously who even is that…"

Nagi "As expected of Toi, you're the real deal."

Toi nodded, though he added that he doesn't think Ryui is a fake.

Toi "She used to be a big name in the spiritual business realm before."

Nagi "Makes sense, Master Hideko's charisma is overflowing."

Ryui "Doesn't it just mean she's good at fooling people."

Toi "I heard that she fell into depression when she lost her husband. There was talk about her losing her powers."

Nagi "No, Master Hideko still has her infinite powers."

Ryui "Shitty-Hachinoya shut your trap already."

Since I got called Shitty-Hachinoya, it might be best to stay quiet for now.

Toi "I'd heard rumors that she got into some shady businesses involving illegal and suspicious spiritual tactics…"

Ryui "Like making their followers dance around with aluminium foil on their heads?"

Toi looked apologetic as he glanced at me, giving a small nod in confirmation.

Ryui "There's no hope for fools."

Toi "I think she just had a moment of weakness because of what happened with her husband…"

Ryui "That doesn't give her the right to take advantage of others though."

Nagi "I'm not being taken advantage of. I'm just about to experience my paradigm shift-"

Ryui "The shithead can shut up."

I've finally been reduced to shithead.

Toi "There are plenty of people in this world who use their spiritual knowledge correctly, and genuinely help people with their problems… But what Hideko-san is doing now isn't right."

Nagi "But Secret Energy can really lead to happiness-"

Ryui "Ahh for fuck's sake, how dense can you get!? I'll look up on how to to undo that brainwashing of yours!"

Ryui scratches his head in frustration while he looks up something on his phone with his other hand. Within a minute, he sees something that makes his eyes blow wide.

Ryui "Hey, did you see the top news today? They just cracked down on some grey-zone gatherings in mahorova."

Toi "Eh?"

Ryui "Apparently they made up some venue to hold their gatherings at. I wonder if that Hideko or whatever will get caught too."

Nagi "Master Hideko is the real deal so there's no problem. By the way, I was thinking about making a donation tomorro-"

Toi "Please open your eyes already Nagi-kun!"

Ryui "Knock it off already you dumbass!"

The two of them looked desperate as they tried to stop me.

After being shaken and slapped around and being made to listen to the "De-brainwashing Beep" that Ryui managed to find, finally-

Nagi "What was I thinking… I almost lost what little savings I had…"

Finally, I came back to my senses.

I thought back on it, and felt somewhere deep down, that Master Hideko might have been deceiving us. That would be the normal reaction, and yet for some strange reason it had been very difficult to try and come to that conclusion by myself.

But if that's the case-

What about Norisuke-san? I was one step away from losing my money but I was saved. He'd seemed very faithful to Master Hideko.

Nagi "Ah."

That's when it hit me. Today was 'that' day.

Nagi "I need to leave now."

Ryui "And where are you trying to head off to?"

Nagi "To the company building of the people operating the Society of Secret Energy."

Norisuke-san had talked about the offline meeting before. He seemed really excited to meet the real Master Hideko, I'm sure he would attend. If I could just find him-

Toi "I'm coming with you! There's something I need to tell Hideko-san and all the followers."

Ryui "Well, I'm already in it, might as well go all out and teach those assholes a lesson!"

Nagi "Thank you, you two… Let's go."

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 5

#18tlip #18trip #18trip translation #hachinoya nagi #nagi novel #the twins have adopted nagi as a sibling now

[thebreakfastgenie]

Any other petpeaves for the mash fandom?

I feel like a good deal of my content is my various complaints about the mash fandom, but here are a few that come to mind:

Assumption of popular fanon People will assume that everyone is not only familiar with the popular fanon, they all agree with it. This creates a hostile environment for creativity and sharing different ideas but also for new fans who haven't even made up their minds because they don't even know about this stuff yet. This includes assumption of beejhawk but is very much not limited to that.

Spelling characters' names wrong We have google! You can just google it!

Calling MASH a dramedy It's a comedy.

Saying "what does this mean" about things that have clear meanings Sometimes the meanings are a little opaque to a modern audience, but not understanding a joke because it relies on dated cultural references isn't the same thing as the line being mysterious. This also applies to "they were insane for this" about very standard jokes and plot devices. The word you are looking for is "good." It's memorable because it was executed well, not because it was a wild choice.

Acting like characters' behavior is insane when it's literally normal I'm sure other fandoms do this too because insane and unhinged are trendy words right now but my experience with it is only in the MASH fandom. BJ isn't insane for remembering a childhood marbles rivalry. That's not even weird for a real person and it's completely unremarkable for a TV character.

Saying the show got more progressive in the later seasons/devaluing the early seasons generally The early seasons were more political and Frank Burns was a key part of the progressive message.

Making fun of boomers for missing the point The fandom is not any better, guys. Sorry to break it to you.

The time loop thing You can't just say the words "time loop." And no pointing to continuity errors or examples of the timeline being weird doesn't provide evidence for a time loop. A time loop is a specific thing, not any kind of timeline weirdness.

Making Peace on Us about BJ instead of Margaret :( He does very little, it's much more about Margaret and her relationship with Hawkeye. I wanted to complain about this in my other answer but didn't because that was a more positive post.

Analysis that relies on faulty assumptions This is an all-fandom problem but I run into this in the MASH fandom a lot where a whole meta depends on a statement about a character or storyline that's just incorrect and it's so annoying!

The way people talk about Maine 😡

The literal interpretation of "everyone loses something" in GFA That's an oversimplification and the more accurate version is "everyone is changed in some way."

Straight up fake stories circulating Hawkeye was never forbidden to touch men's underwear. Alan Alda was also never in Korea but that one isn't the fandom's fault, it's a wikipedia error.

Everything about the TVTropes page It's very slanted and full of straight up disinformation and people trust it because they don't understand that TVTropes isn't like wikipedia. Also, people think it means fanon is being validated by an outside source, but the TVTropes entry was written by mashblr people.

Thinking the Mud Hens were made up :( :(((((

Saying BJ has boobs That man is flat as a board. Stop lying. I have eyes.

#mashposting #it doesn't count as throwing rocks if someone ASKED me to do it #also I've posted about all these topics before

[bonefall]

i would love to see more about bb!crowfeather, if you haven’t done a post about him already? (i tried digging but couldn’t find one, dunno if that’s just tumblr search being broken tho)

I'll make him a big summary post once I've settled on a design I like for him, I'm stuck up on if I want him to be smooth or spiky. So here's a little doodle page + some casual notes

Me: "I'm not a fan of projecting real world culture onto BB redux cats,and if I ever was giving a character an in universe accent it would specifically be to give the smartest character on screen a very thick northern english one to stick it in the face of the way southern english accents are associated with intelligence"

Also me: "but crowfeather is italian"

BB!Crow is pretty different from canon

My Crow is a very passionate guy, it's never lost from his young warrior days. Many of the late Po3/early OotS moments where Leafpool is confessing her love in front of his wife and children are from him to her instead

Mudclaw and Torear are some of the best cooks in WindClan during the late Thistle Period. Crowpaw was super close with his mentor Mudclaw, and picked this up from him

For the Great Journey, Crow mashed up his personal collection of mealworms to make tunnelbun rations for everyone

And SPEAKING of the Great Journey, he was already a warrior at the time. His name was Crowfoot, for his mom and dad

Both Dead and Ash were old friends of Bluestar, members of the forget-me-nots.

Ashfoot shared this with him when he was young, and also that Tigerstar was responsible for killing his dad

This feeds into some changes I'm making to have Crow be slightly less frustrating during the Journey. He's still angry, short tempered, and dramatic, but MUCH less openly antagonistic

Squilf and him are usually involved in food related escapades, youll see when I finish the notes of TNP

Feathertail's death changes everyone. Crow most of all.

Crow is an impulsive young warrior. He throws himself headfirst into things, often forgetting that he isn't the only person in the world who matters. Feathertail felt like cool water, reminding him how to slow down and take a breath

The romantic affection was mutual, but imo I don't think it would have lasted.

But no one will ever know if it will, least of all Crowfoot, who is convinced that they both died that day in the mountain

Tallstar’s final name is Crow's honor title; Crowfeather.

And then Leafpooooooool

When she ultimately isn't willing to, like, throw away everyone she's ever loved and go live in the wildnerness with him, Crowfeather loses his marbles, convinced now that Actually He is Unlovable

And still he gets with Nightcloud, thinking that he can't possibly be hurt any more, he must re-prove his loyalty after he vanished for a week... it really was a pretty knee-jerk choice he didn't think through and rationalized post-hoc

No consideration for Nightcloud here.

This post isn't about Nightcloud btw but she is actually pretty reduxed too. The fact she was involved in the raid to kill Onewhisker is politically relevant to Breezepelt later

And Breezy, poor fucking Breeze

Crow is a garbage dad. Breeze is really not in a good environment with him and Nightcloud.

Through points in Po3, before Breeze becomes the villain who kills Firestar and sees a redemption in AVoS, I am planning several moments to establish that Breezepaw is perfectly capable of being a loving cat if he was in a better life situation

To Crowfeather's benefit, age will do wonders on mellowing him out.

He does tend to struggle with compassion though, and remains a pretty harsh character for most of his life.

Crow wanted to be a Light in the Mist to even begin to apologize to Breeze, but Breeze knocks him out lmao no more Crowf worship thanks erins

Anyway. Onto design stuff

Hollyleaf and Breezepelt look a LOT like grandpa Deadfoot, but I'm not sure if I want Crowfeather to look a lot like him

I'm leaning towards him looking like Ashfoot detail-wise but have Deadfoot’s face.

Btw you can observe, here, the WindClan Tail Tuft.

Most WindClan cats have a lighter-colored tail tuft to help them be seen in tall grass, it's a feature like the ThunderClan Mane you may have noticed in a lot of my TC cats.

Ashfoot and Morningflower have a cloudy swirl on their tails, and a "whispy" sort of vibe. Deadfoot and his dad Chicorynose have a dragon-arrow.

Holly got the dragon arrow because She Deserves It

I'm fond of this redux lmao, let men be dramatic

#Bb!Crowfeather #Better bones au #Bone babble

[creepylittlelady]

Proxies Headcanons! [Puppet Strings Lore Dump]

Hey! I have an unfortunate confession to make; I used to really like Fanon Masky when I was like 9 years old. Thankfully I finally watched Marble Hornets and realised what the fuck I'd been missing out. I used to love Fanon Toby too but maybe about two years ago I completely rewrote him after a sudden change of heart.

Did Hoody even have a fanon? I don't think he had a personality beyond being Masky's best friend. That's unfortunate seeing as how he's my favourite one out of the pair.

Anyways, the Proxies have always been such an interesting concept to me. I know that they don't exist in canon, but seriously it's an entertaining thing to imagine a sitcom between the Proxies and Slenderman.

So, without further ado, let's get into it!

Proxies Headcanons

-The 'Proxies' are the employees (only slaves like 50% of the time) of the Slenderman. They do have a greater purpose for being 'hired'; to serve as human energy for the Operator to feed off of. That's why the MOST unstable ones get picked to be proxies, since he feeds off of trauma and emotional energy.

-They do get paid, but only when the Slenderman takes over. Sadly he's aware of why they're here but accepts the fact that there's nothing he can really do about it since the Operator's fed on them so much that they'll basically die if they stop being Proxies (if the Operator doesn't kill them first). It's a lose-lose situation, unfortunately.

-As I said prior; they're the most mentally unstable in the whole Mansion. There are six of them; Rouge, X-Virus/Cody, Kate, Masky/Tim, Hoody/Brian, and Toby. Rouge is the oldest (due to the fact that in her original story she was almost married and almost a mother), and Toby is the youngest.

-Many of the Residents avoid them, especially Masky and Hoody. As they're the most well-known Proxies, they're generally known for being violent and ill-mannered towards others besides each-other and Toby. Although they get closer to everyone eventually, most of the residents heavily disliked them when they first arrived.

-Slender has no idea how they got here, although he has an idea of why they could be here. He's got no idea what happened to Toby, Kate, Rouge, or what the hell a Marble Hornets is. No matter how many times they explain what Slender supposedly did to them, he just doesn't remember as Charles wasn't conscious when it happened.

Although (I believe, its been a while) Marble Hornets take place in 2006, they sort of departed from the Labrinth and returned in 2009 after Masky and Hoody find themselves homeless and basically just drug addicts. They put up with Slender as they have no other place to turn to.

-They mainly go on Political Missions; such as assassinating a target in the Underworld, or they kill actual people in the real world. These usually consist of people who get too close to finding out about the Pastas, cultists, and basically just any random target Slender picks out for them.

-They're sort of their own family, as they share rooms in the same corridor which is quite far away from the other Residents. Rouge actually has her own home, but the other four live in the Mansion.

-They all magically have access to drugs. Nobody knows and nobody asks why, but whenever they need a fix, all they need to do is go to Hoody's room and pay $5.

-Speaking of Hoody, he has selective mutism, and even then he rarely talks. He only verbally communicates with the other Proxies, and doesn't speak to anyone else at all. Sometimes he'll randomly chime in to a conversation Toby and Masky are having and laugh as the two jump.

He's just a bit of a goofy guy, really.

-Wondering why I'm exclusively calling them Masky and Hoody? Well, I know it's sort of implied that Tim and Brian have DID and that Masky and Hoody are simply their alter egos, but in this AU they're more like personas that the Operator made up for them. He didn't like how disobedient Tim and Brian are, so when the Operator takes over he personally remolds their personalities so that they're more subservient. It sounds confusing but I'm trying

-I'm going to make a separate post for Tim and Brian, but a little backstory is that the two of them have known each other since Kindergarten and have grown up together since. They're best friends and their bond is just so strong that nobody can ever really come between them.

Although they're seen hanging out with Toby a lot, Toby is aware of the fact that Tim and Brian are the original duo.

-Masky is the unofficial group leader of the Proxies, and everyone else just kind of accepts that. He's a cool guy and does know how to take charge, however he's always incredibly rebellious to the Slenderman's orders, which leaves Toby to step up every time they fuck up real bad.

-Slenderman sometimes accompanies them. He doesn't help, he just watches from a corner and sometimes jumps out at them to scare them. It's a favourite pass time of his. He will help them out on occasion, as keep in mind he is a low-level God.

-Dr. Smiley and Nurse Ann's makeshift Hospital is basically their second home. Since they get injured so much on all of their missions (totally not due to Masky going against the direct orders), they often all come together to get treated with whatever nasty injury they get from their most recent endeavour.

-Hoody and Slender, both people who don't talk very often, easily understand each other. It's sort of an inside joke that they can telepathically talk to each other. It's basically the only form of a relationship they have considering Hoody's very wary of him.

-Masky hates cheesecake. And crayons. And children. And Slenderman (although when it's Charles they're relationship is a bit better). The Masky in this AU would fucking HATE fanon Masky.

Cheesecake is Masky's least favourite food. He'd rather eat a pile of dog shit. Lazari thought this was funny and made sure to include a panel of him eating Cheesecake in every comic that she makes.

I'll get some more later! Hope you enjoyed ;)

#littlelady #creepypasta #slenderman #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta au #creepypasta headcanons #puppet strings #masky mh #tim masky #timothy wright #tim mh #mh masky #masky headcanons #hoody headcanons #hoody creepypasta #hoody marble hornets #hoody mh #brian thomas #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby #kate the chaser #kate milens #rouge the proxy #proxy headcanons #proxy #the operator #marble hornets

[cinyemina]

Levi's monologue when he was beating the shit out of eren

I can't believe it. I mean, really, can you? It's like a twisted, messed-up joke that humanity's last hope is pinned on a group of bumbling, power-hungry, so-called leaders. These guys couldn't even lead a donkey to water without getting lost in the desert...

And don't get me started on the Yeager brat. Ugly as a Titan's backside, but they want to barbecue him like he's the main course at a Titan buffet. The poor brat is scared out of his mind, stuttering like a broken record, begging for his life every few seconds. Newsflash, brat: nobody understands you when you're gagged. It's like trying to have a deep philosophical debate with a brick wall.

Nile Dok, the shining beacon of all that is pig-headed and self-important. Head of the Military Police, they call him. But from where I'm standing, he's the grand poobah of all things nonsensical. And let's not forget Nick, the Minister Shitface, holding the prestigious title of vice-judge. It's like a match made in heaven – two peas in a pod of bureaucratic incompetence.

Erwin, on the other hand, well, he's got his own history with Dok. Something about stealing Erwin's girl, Marie, way back when. The details aren't clear, but you can bet your boots that it's a festering wound that still stings. You see, Eyebrows may look as calm as a tranquil lake, but beneath that serene exterior, there's a storm brewing.

Minister Nick and his never-ending religious sermons. He's all about that Walls mumbo-jumbo, but honestly, I've got more important things to do, like keeping your sorry butts alive in this Titan-infested world. If I did give a damn about religion, I'd want a better spokesperson than this guy. I mean, really, it's like having a dung beetle as your life coach. Nick's "inspirational" speeches would put even the most dedicated insomniac to sleep. But hey, maybe that's the secret to his survival – bore the Titans to tears. While he's preaching about the great beyond, I'm out here in the real world, making sure you have a future to even worry about.

If there's a heaven, hell, or purgatory, I hope they've got better entertainment than this holy bore. Dok's playing puppet master to Zackly, and it's a damn puppet show I'm not willing to watch any longer. The clock's ticking, and I can't let this charade continue. The jury needs a reality check before Dok's nonsense becomes law.

Erwin, my partner in crime, gives me that unspoken signal, and it's like we share the same damn brain. Twins, they call us, and they might be right. But let's get one thing straight – I got the looks, and I've got the, well, length, if you catch my drift.

It's time to step up, cut through the crap, and bring some order to this chaotic world. Because if there's one thing we don't need, it's more clowns in this circus of despair. It's time for the Survey Corps to do what we do best – kick some Titan ass and take names.

It's a damn shame that I have to resort to beating the living daylights out of Eren Yeager to make a point. But let me tell you, it's like a twisted kind of therapy for me. The kid's got a hair-trigger temper, and it doesn't take much to set him off. I mean, everything makes him lose his marbles.

You'd think we were living in a world where Titans are the least of our worries, with the way Eren goes ballistic over the smallest things. It's like he's got a personal grudge against serenity. But hey, if my fists can knock some sense into him, then I'll gladly be the bad guy. In this world, losing your cool can get you killed, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep this circus from turning into a bloody tragedy.

Mikasa, the black-haired girl, can't seem to stop gushing over "Ereh!" like she's some kind of Titan-slaying goddess. The way she clings to that Titan-spitface is almost comical. Kid's got herself a full-blown crush on Mr. Yeager.

And sure, I've heard it before, that Mikasa Ackerman looks a bit like me, despite us having zero ties. But let's get one thing straight – I'd rather be related to a sack of potatoes than be associated with a brat who's obsessed with Eren.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, but between her and me, I'm the hotter one in this messed-up circus. Beauty might not save the world, but it sure beats being infatuated with a Titan-transforming teenager.

It's not the stench of their porky existence that gets to me, although that's a close second. No, it's the fear that I feed on, thrive on, and let me tell you, it's a feast.

Dok and Minister Nick are probably soaking their pants, and also shitting right about now, knowing that in my mind's eye, I'm picturing them in Yeager's shoes. There's something satisfying about watching them squirm, knowing that their day of judgment might be just around the corner. It's like a sweet symphony, and I'm the conductor, orchestrating their fear, one crescendo at a time. This world is a savage playground, and I'm the merciless player.

Wait shit, was that a spit and blood covered tooth? Holy hell, it doesn't matter. I need to pull back. Just one more kick.

Okay, maybe one more for good measure. Can't leave things unfinished, right?

And one last one, just to make sure things are nice and tidy. It's not often I get to let loose like this, so might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Another kick for the sake of, well, cleanliness.

TLDR: Shipping between Levi and Eren won't be tolerated, it's disgusting.

#levi aot #levi ackerman #levi #rivaille heichou #rivaille ackerman #eren yeager #eren jaeger #aot erwin #erwin smith #erwin #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #shitpost #funny #sarcastic #sarcasm #dry humor #anime #manga #aot #cinycesum-fan-stuffs

[larsnicklas]

ok ur the only active petey blog with anons on. pls help me hold an intervention.

never trade petey. the real issue here is the brown suit.

now i haven’t crunched the number but every time he was that god damn brown suit he is non existent on the ice. yes his wingers are terrible but he also needs to step up rn. we’re not trading him and he doesn’t want to leave but if he’s about to cash in that much money and the best he can pull out is a poop brown suit pairs with the wrong colours shirt…the dude claims he is the best dressed on the team. it’s literally the only thing that he’s been yapping about since day 1. and it has gone so down hill recently. he’s literally dating a model and i’m restraining myself from dm-ing and asking her to take over.

the brown needs to go. it’s not in his colour pallet and even if it was he’s not pairing it well with coloured shirts.

NOW A LINEN BEIGE WITH BROWN SHIRT???? That would go fucking hard. pls i hope this is just cause the 11m hasn’t kicked in but bro i’m giving him until October to get a new lineup of suits.

i love the buzz/bald. so hot. praying he or the gf see this because i’m losing my marbles.

this message has me fucking rolling. my god. thank you so much for this. i feel generally neutral about his suits except for the monogrammed belt loop we saw recently (extremely cunty), and also i wish he'd wear more jewel tones to set off his very striking eyes. i actually think he's stronger on streetwear than formal; he has fun taste in sneakers and also in jackets. there's one cos denim jacket he wore literally years ago i think about frequently and wish i had bought at the time lol like it wasn't even very expensive i was just in my frugal era. i also don't think models necessarily have good taste in fashion ASL;KDJFAKLFJ but like. i'm willing to give her a shot at this. we need to change up the mojo i agree. look good feel good play good!!!

#meg.askbox #petey blog.... am i a petey blog......... guys be honest please ;ALSDKFJAKLF i have RANGE i swear