#i think that would put Joy as the best off assuming she gets away from her kidnappers

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Plot twist, every individual drawing you have made of each of the crew members getting whumped happens simultaneously to all the others and we get to see the whole team injured and caretaking eachother

the true spirit of team whump

But man everyone's gonna be suffering 😭😭 (/pos)

#anon #t$$ ask #i think that would put Joy as the best off assuming she gets away from her kidnappers #this is basically the plotline for the 'bad ending' and 'worse ending' aus :) #EVERYONE gets the shit kicked out of them

[ddarker-dreams]

Scarlet Ribbons accidental kisses with the gang? (I love your writing so much! You're one of the best fanfic writers <3 <3 I reread your works so often, they make my day : D)

wahhh thank you so much, i'm happy to know my writing can bring you some joy!!! 💖

i'm going to assume that this request takes place before SR reader is in a relationship with anyone, hopefully that's what you had in mind hkjetgrmw maybe something like she started to trip and x guy went to catch her? some traditional shoujo exploits ...

[Scarlet Ribbons index]

Giorno

There's a 99% chance Giorno's sentient Stand, GER, had a hand in this. The Stand shares Giorno's affection for you and wishes his user would hurry up in courting you already. Giorno catches onto the shenanigans at play but it's too late — while catching you, your lips make contact. His face has never felt so warm. He tries portraying himself in this suave, calm manner, but when you're in his general vicinity, it's a challenge to maintain this balanced state. His voice is a few pitches higher when he rushes through an apology. The Don of Passione would feel less nervous starting down the barrel of a gun. Later, he chastises his conniving Stand, but deep down… he's secretly grateful.

Bruno

Bruno doesn't immediately pull away and thinks less of himself because of it. He's straining himself to the degree that veins start protruding from his forehead. Your comfort matters far more to him than satisfying any carnal needs. After he ensures you're steady, he puts an appropriate amount of distance between you, then starts apologizing for the mishap. If you're feeling particularly mischievous, now would be the most opportune time to tease him. He's usually immune to being flustered, even from you, but the emotions running rampant through his system momentarily lower his defenses. There'll be a slight blush on his sunkissed skin. He's quick to excuse himself so he can get his heart under control.

Fugo

Fugo struggles to make eye contact with you for a solid week. Once he gets past the initial slew of positive hormones that make him feel like he's on cloud nine, reality settles in, and he's mortified. What if you think he's a creep who did it on purpose? The thought alone leads to sleepless nights where he gnaws on his nails. He berates himself and is extra prone to explode with anger at the slightest provocation. You need to reassure him before there's collateral damage. He's still stiff around you for a while, but that's because his eyes start wandering to your lips if he isn't careful. His own start tingling, as if remembering the soft sensation and longing to experience it again.

Mista

Mista knew the lord was on his side. The last time he attended mass, he prayed for something like this to happen. The main objective henceforth is to maintain his cool. Ride out the waves of coincidence and try not to come off too strong, lest he scare you away. Once he's certain you aren't going to unleash your wrath upon him, the cogs in his brain begin turning. What can he say to sweeten the moment? Win you over with his charisma and charm? There's got to be a perfect combination of words that'll have you weak to your knees. Eventually, he settles on complimenting your chapstick flavor. He later bemoans himself for not saying something cooler.

Narancia

It's like raw caffeine was injected into his veins. He's absolutely ecstatic, ready to bounce from wall to wall, even though he recognizes it was an accident. Who cares? This has got to be fate, or whatever it's called, he thinks he heard the term in a movie once. Narancia is bragging about it to absolutely everyone, much to their chagrin (especially Fugo's). Abbacchio pours salt into Narancia's drink when he isn't looking as a silent form of vengeance. You come into the room and everyone aside from Narancia is grumpy. You're absolutely his first kiss, a fact he takes great pride in. That is, until he wonders if he's your first kiss… then his mood is slightly pampered… for all of ten minutes. Then he's back to beaming, uncaring of anything besides the fact your lips made contact.

Abbacchio

Abbacchio cannot remember the last time his heart pounded this hard — if ever. Still, he doesn't linger in the moment. He may be harsh around the edges, but he still cares for you greatly, the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable. When he parts and sees his purple lipstick smudged onto your pretty, parted lips… it is a divine test of his self-control. That mental image has never left him. He's stuck between not feeling worthy of your affection and wanting to kiss you until the pigment stains your lips a deeper color. It's a dilemma. If he isn't constantly distracting himself, his mind runs off to fantasize.

#giorno x reader #giorno giovanna x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno x reader #pannacotta fugo x reader #fugo x reader #guido mista x reader #mista x reader #narancia ghirga x reader #narancia x reader #leone abbacchio x reader #abbacchio x reader #jjba x reader #vento aureo x reader #scarlet ribbons #my stuff #answered #Anonymous

[bella-goths-wife]

The lost boys reaction to being asked “so where’s mom?”

Platonic father lost boys x baby lost boys daughter

Content: what the lost boys would do if someone asked where readers mom is

Warnings: none that I could think of? If I missed something please let me know

This is inspired by the fatherhood scene where everyone keeps asking where the mom is

Dwayne

“So where’s mom?”

This question pisses him off

Especially if they don’t address him when asking it

For example “where’s your mommy little one?”

He finds this question to be nosy as fuck

But he’ll remain calm

There’s a twitch in his eye brow and deep frown on his face but he’ll try and not snap at the person who asks

He knows his relationship with his boys isn’t the norm and he knows that a child being raised by four men definitely isn’t the norm

So he’ll just lie and say something about the mom being out of town or is busy doing something and then he’ll calmly walk away

He’s definitely ranting about it to your baby self who literally understands none of the words coming out of his mouth but you just liked having the attention

He’d also rant in a baby voice so you don’t think he’s mad at you

He’d say something like “that nosy bitch should mind her business, yes she should, yes she should” in a baby voice

But he has the audacity to act surprised when baby reader curses

Paul

This man would have the most fun with this

He would create the biggest lies just to fuck with people

He’d be holding you gently while walking down the beach and someone would randomly walk up to the two of you and ask him that question and an evil grinch smile would spread across his face

His favourite lies to tell is that your mother is either in prison for murder, part of a conspiracy against the government or that she’s a famous actress who didn’t want the public knowing she’d had a baby

He lives for the shocked expressions on the persons face before calmly walking away and cackling loudly once he’s a good distance away

Marko

He’s the exact same as Paul when someone asks him that question, he lies

Sometimes he spins a really sympathetic story so he can scam some money out of people that he can use to spoil you with more toys

He and Paul have bets to see who can come up with the most outrageous lie and get the best reaction out of someone

He once told someone that your mother had broken out of a mental hospital before finding marko and getting pregnant with you and then one day a baby was dropped off at markos front door

He then covered your ears and went “let’s just hope she doesn’t say she can see noises and smell colours like her mother”

He cackled as the person just slowly backed away with a gtfo expression

He won the bet of the night of who could tell the best lie

If star is involved, he’ll lie just to spite her and be passive aggressive

When he’s asked he’ll put an arm around star when she approaches and goes “well mommy was a junkie who joined a hippie cult before coming back for her daughter”

It gets star a lot of dirty looks and it gives marko endless amounts of joy

David

This question irks David, because why is this person all up in his business?

If this is pre star time and he was just having a night with the two of you, he’ll just bluntly respond “dead” and then walk away from the shocked and guilty looking person

People just assume that he’s still upset about your mothers death, but David honestly just doesn’t have the energy to lie so he’s blunt

If this is post star and someone asks him where your mom is he’ll just gesture to star with an ‘obviously’ expression

You could honestly look nothing like either of them and David would still look at them like they are the stupidest person to ever breathe air

If you look nothing like either of them and someone questions it, they will get two reactions depending on David’s mood

If he’s in a playful mood he’ll just imply something along the lines of star being involved in infidelity and then laugh at her angry expression, this mostly happens when he’s feeling jealous of her so he’ll embarrass her

If he’s just not in the mood at all, he’ll just glare at the person and say “what does this have to do with you?” And the person gets scared enough to back away and leave immediately

This is the reaction he gives most of the time

He was super protective of baby reader anyway so anyone approaching the two of you and interrupting his precious daddy-daughter time then he’s gonna be annoyed and thinking about sinking his teeth into the persons neck

Sometimes the boys wonder where the softer version of David went as you got older, but no one but David knows

#slashers x reader #lost boys x reader #lost boys x child reader #poly lost boys x reader #yandere lost boys x reader #platonic lost boys x reader #yandere lost boys #dad lost boys #the lost boys #lost boy x reader

[uddermyname]

can we get a top, bottom, switch list? i'm curious to see what dynamics you see with the twst cast.

i just assume them all being roughly 17 that they're all so horny and willing to experiment with anything it doesn't matter. these are high school age boys we're talking about. a hole is a hole. i firmly believe they've all used magic to jerk off till they go blind for the day

ace - my baseline for the cast. the closest to being straight in the entire world. imagines himself topping and daydreams of doing it with a girl but i mean he's likely ended up on the bottom of the ass hierarchy but idk if he'd like it more than topping

deuce - like his mom told him that to get a baby you have sex but i don't think she went into detail so i don't think deuce knows too much. his best trait is his inexperience after all but he still cranks it like a regular boy. he would go for top cuz he doesn't know there's other ways and he can rut someone like a pig but he'd be down for bottoming cuz it's now a challenge. lifts legs spreads ass yelling bring it on before his back gets blown out. he has a slapable ass thank u track club deuce card

trey - a normal guy with a perfectly normal life. he's probs considered the aspect of bottoming but since he's a bit taller and i headcanon less flexible he doesn't think it'll be for him. only if the right guy comes along. i think he's more aware of what he's okay with being the sensible guy so tops more

cater - two older sisters and constantly moving has probably made him a master at the two minute wank. maybe being on his own for the first time has allowed his freak to fly. wants to actually enjoy the act. has tons of colorful toys and good recommendations. likes his hair tugged

riddle - guy is so pent up the second he touched his weewee as a kid his mom scolded him so hard he's certain if he ever saw it erect his mom would cut it off. the kind to hump his pillow and then get an ulcer from hiding it. fandom sees him as a huge bottom which he is but with azul i like to see him be the top simply cuz i make azul the bigger bottom a la bias. the guy's had it rough. let him have a little bussy. as a treat. like. 98% bottom 2% top with azul

leona - probably bottoms more than people think and is a pillow princess about it. either make him cum or leave him alone. if he tops tho you're not walking right. only cool kids can touch it tho

jack - has a knot because yeah. since he's big like trey probs always assumed he'd be on top but i think out of respect he'd let leona and/or ruggie do him

ruggie - i feel it started early. selling his mouth out for food or money and only progressed through school. more of a bottom cuz of it tho i feel might've dreamed of topping leona only to get violently corrected. i thing he'd like to top just a little more but most guys want to be the top so he just bends over and gives you his rates

azul - tho i like bottom azul more than the blue in the sky i will also admit he and the twins are deplorable freaks who have tried every hole, position, and fantasy they could physically get away with. he's slid his mackerel inside which is a pretty high honor tbh. ends up bottoming just cuz he's stretchiest and squishiest and his bussy is top tier. i don't think he's had his virginity since he was 12. would probably love to top riddle tho and show him the joys of the flesh

jade and floyd - puts them together because it's basically the same: whatever gets them the nut. topping is just easier for it but if azul's busy or they're feeling that special brotherly connection only brothers can then someone's gotta bottom

kalim - i feel he just orgies all day every day so something's going in and out from every hole like the dorm bike. topping and bottoming are more like constraints when after all everyone can feel good together

jamil - a guy who wants to top but is made to bottom his entire life his dickus has never once entered another body. it's funnier like that. i bet if he ever did get get the chance he'd automatically get himself ready to bottom cuz of muscle memory. the only guy who offered to bottom for him was azul and his balls shriveled away in protest

epel - wants to top. has not topped. will never top. MAYBE jack, as a present for his birthday i guess but his meat isn't getting past those cheeks. vil f/ucks him daily both physically and mentally to keep him in his place.

rook - my perception of rook was altered thanks to hent/ai so it's more gratifying to see him bottom. like he can probably top easily but there's something fun about making him the prey instead of the predator. would bottom for the beautiful vil and niege

vil - lol sorry pibbles but vil feels funner as a top. commanding others to suck and take it is fun. has trained rook and epel on his dong and many others. tho of course finds no issue with bottoming either just not the 100% uke idea

idia - freakass has ruined every hole with technology and homemade masturbatory aids. his personality is very submissive but he's got a pretty big ego and i feel he'd slip into the protag-he/ntai enthusiast easily and prefer topping but really wants to live out every single nhen/tai comic he has bookmarked which is in the thousands. tops for azul cuz someone has to and that ass is too thick not to

ortho - he can do it all. the tightest snatch reduce your stick to atoms like a coinpresser or a dong wider than a horse's. idk who he'd do it with but he's prepared for every scenario with equal enthusiasm he just likes seeing the other party happy

lilia - has probs done more war crimes and noncons than you think but grandpa's joints are old and prefers bottoming now. feel similar to venti of being a cute femboy but then whips out a massive hog and teaches you a lesson of not underestimating your elders

silver - idk about him much frankly but if hes just going to lay there sleeping then he's just asking for it. sleeping beauty time

sebek - despite his size and strength probably has saved his v-card for malleus and malleus alone in which he will most likely bottom. idk about him either

malleus - has been served v-cards on a silver platter and lilia likely taught him a thing or two but idk if the prince of briar valley's even been the one taken to poundtown. i know leona would want to take him but if yuu asked really nicely i think he'd allow it too

[unseededtoast]

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller

Part Nine

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!

"So you were there when she died?"

"I was."

Traveling with Joel is both the easiest and most difficult thing. His quiet nature makes it easy to lay low, allowing myself to focus on my thoughts without interruption. His silence is also the same thing that makes it difficult. The silence let's me think too much, and my list of questions just keeps continuing to grow. If I had no sense of respect, I would be asking all of them at once. But I know that if I'm ever going to get the answers I want, I'm going to have to play things smart. Joel is a cautious and reserved person, he doesn't strike me as the type to lay everything out.

He walks a few paces ahead of me, probably in effort to keep me from asking questions. Last night after he read the notes, I still didn't get anything useful out of him. My mind keeps reeling, trying to figure out what he knows. But I keep coming up with nothing. The best idea I have so far is that he has some sort of issue with the Fireflies, and that makes two of us.

After walking most of the day, he stops off in a wooded area to the side of the road, unloading his gun and backpack against a tree. Finally. My feet ache and my back hurts from walking nonstop. My backpack finds its place against a tree as well, and I raise my arms to stretch my weary muscles. Joel glances at me before averting his gaze, and I can't hold my tongue any longer, I can't help it.

"So what were you doing all the way in Boston if you live out past Omaha?" I ask, my voice creaky from not using it all day. My arms lower themselves back to my sides, and his silence makes me think he's probably not going to answer.

"I had to tie up some loose ends, let people know I wasn't gonna be comin' back." He says as he takes a sip of water from his old canteen. My mouth forms a small 'O' shape as I recall that he was in fact supposed to come back after his job.

"James told me about that. What kind of job was it? I hope it was worth it, you and your partner were gone for what, almost a year?" I immediately regret asking as I see his jaw tense. Without knowing it, I may have just crossed a boundary. He puts his canteen away without answering me. My gaze falls to the ground and I shake my head,

"You don't have to answer." My voice is weak and I pick my bag up to find somewhere else to take a break. The tension is palpable and heavy between us, almost suffocating.

With my bag almost dragging the ground, I find a shaded spot about twenty feet away from him and sit down so that my feet can find some reprieve. I wipe my hands over my face, trying to reinvigorate myself and to relieve some of the stress I'm sure is apparent on my features. Resting my head against the bark I let my eyes close and I focus on the sounds of nature opposed to overthinking the grumpy man's silence.

The songs of birds faintly carry through the air, and if I concentrate hard enough, it's almost like the world never ended. The peace of the woods in the middle of nowhere is unparalleled after spending years in a busy, crowded QZ. My body takes a deep breath and I open my eyes, fingers fiddling with the grass below me. There are tiny white wildflowers sprinkled throughout the grass, along with dandelions.

Without a second thought, I pick them and made a rough arrangement in my hand. The white and yellow compliment each other beautifully and as I admire my rudimentary work, my chest aches with longing. I miss doing this every day, I miss my small field of colorful flowers; they always brought me joy. Now, the beauty of flowers serve as a bittersweet reminder of what used to be. I break off a large piece of grass and tie it into an ugly looking bow around the stems of the dandelions and put the flowers in the side pocket of my backpack.

As I put the flowers away I notice Joel looking at me through the trees. His eyes almost look soft, not as guarded as they always are. But I don't hold his gaze. Instead, I keep to myself and rest my eyes for a few minutes longer, until he breaks the silence for once. His boots rustle around in the tall grass and I hear the unmistakable sound of his rifle being slung over his shoulder.

"We should keep goin'." He says, walking back out towards the road. I agree wordlessly and join him on the pavement.

A part of me is beyond annoyed at his behavior, but the more logical part of me understands why he is the way that he is. To keep my temper, I keep reminding myself that I only have to stay with him until Omaha, and then we will indefinitely go our separate ways. But the thought of making this journey back to Boston by myself is daunting, and something I'd rather not dwell on right now. I'll figure things out when the time comes, in the meantime my focus and energy should be spent going after the killers.

Hours later, we find ourselves in a tiny town, one that only has a single traffic light. The buildings have all probably been ransacked a few times over, but I know Joel will want to stop to look for things. Which is fine with me, the more supplies we have the better off we are. I follow him into the stores, each clear of infected. Our bounty turns out to be a single can of pinto beans. I think I'll let him keep those.

We exit out the back door into a little alleyway and I tie my hair back out of my face, the heat of the day making my skin slick with sweat. As I tie up my hair, my eyes land on an interesting piece of graffiti on a building across from where we're standing. My feet move towards it before I really take in what it is I'm seeing.

There on the brick wall is the Firefly symbol spray painted in white, and over top of it is a bright red 'T'. The killers have definitely been here, maybe this is the same path they take to get between Boston and Omaha. I hear Joel come to stand beside me and he huffs.

"Damn Fireflies." He mutters, catching my attention.

"The world would be better off without them." I agree, figuring the conversation would end there. I see him turn his head towards me in my peripheral before he speaks again.

"What's your issue with 'em?" He asks and I meet his gaze, seeing a genuine interest in his eyes. I shrug my shoulders and turn my attention back to the graffiti,

"All they do is kill people for no good reason. Bunch of runaway kids who think they're some sort of heroes, they don't even understand what they're fighting for, really." I keep my rant short instead of droning on and on about what issues I have with the Fireflies. Joel nods his head,

"You got that right. But uh, I think they're fractured now. Their leader, she died a few weeks back." Joel says, crossing his arms. My eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Marlene?" I ask, wanting to be sure I heard him right. I met Marlene once early in my pill running career, she was the one who ignited my hatred for the Fireflies. She was one self-righteous bitch. His head nods, confirming Marlene's death. 

"You know her?" I nod my head, looking back over to him from the paint on the wall.

"Better off dead. Maybe without a leader they'll all disband." I say, hopeful for the end of the Fireflies. But I know it's wishful thinking. People like that always tend to find something to get involved in.

"Maybe, if we're lucky." Joel says exactly what I'm thinking. My curious nature once again gets the best of me and I can't help but ask him more. I'm itching for any more information about anything he's willing to give me.

"How'd you know Marlene?" I ask, and his jaw tenses up before he relaxes it.

"She was the one who gave me this last job." He answers, and my mind works overtime. My brain conjures up at least five other questions, but one burns hot on my tongue as I put together the figurative puzzle.

"So were you there when she died?" The timeline would add up. I know he just got done with the job she apparently gave him, and if he hates the Fireflies, then maybe he knows more about her death than just the simple fact that she died. His eyes squint as he looks down to me, but I hold my ground. I'm growing rather impatient of his unwillingness to converse and answer my questions when I've answered all of his.

"I was." Is all he says, and I take what I can get. I want to push him further but I know I'm already skating on thin ice. Instead, I turn our focus back onto the graffiti. My fingers rest on my chin as I try to think of how this fits in with the rest of the pieces I have.

"They're obviously working together or something." I say, recalling the note I found outside the QZ. Trying to concentrate, I squeeze my eyes shut and think about every clue I have. The answer feels like it's just out of my reach, like it's right at my fingertips but I just can't seem to get a grasp on it.

With a sigh, I turn to face Joel and tell him we should keep moving. I don't think standing here in this town is going to help me miraculously figure things out, so we should keep going. My body wants nothing more than to lay down and rest, but we have a lot of ground to cover. Maybe tonight when we find someplace to hunker down I can take a look at everything again and try to make some sense of it all.

Joel stays to my side as we walk the second half of the day. Perhaps my distaste for the Fireflies is making him warm up to me after all. Or maybe his feet are also in an immense amount of pain. It would be nice to find an operational vehicle, I don't know how we're going to make the entire trip by foot. But finding a vehicle out in the middle of nowhere is like finding water in the desert.

We must have covered at least thirty miles today, and my body is feeling the effects. The sun has drained my body of water and the dehydration is already making my head spin. My feet are throbbing, my back is so sore and tense I think it might get thrown out of whack if I step the wrong way.

Off in the distance, I see a building finally appear. My finger points to it, and Joel weakly nods in response. Only a little bit farther until we can collapse for the night. With a newfound sense of purpose, my pace kicks up a little but not without the protest of my body. The building turns out to be an old gas station.

Joel and I make sure there are no infected around before we open the doors. Shelves are pushed all around and discarded items litter the floor. Even a place this remote has been looted, but that's no surprise. After ensuring the building is safe, the two of us push shelves in front of the entryways so that we will be able to rest soundly without worrying about the infected finding us. Although, I'm not sure that fear will ever been completely out of my mind.

After the entry points are secure, the two of us collapse to the ground, pushing off our backpacks. I lay completely flat on the floor, and my spine decompresses with a few loud pops. The feeling of not being on my feet is euphoric, and suddenly the linoleum floor of this abandoned gas station is the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on. Though I'm sure my body will disagree with me in the morning. For once, the silence between Joel and I has never been so welcome.

The sun begins setting and I will myself to sit up, knowing I want to look at my clues before we completely lose the light. Out of my bag I fish out the clues and spread them all in front of me so I can see everything at once. My fingers pick at the dry skin on my lips as I re-read everything, becoming completely enthralled in finding answers that I don't realize Joel is by my side offering me some water until he nudges my shoulder. I take the canteen from his hands and tip it back, noticing we are running very low on water.

"Thanks." I hand him the canteen back after barely taking a sip. He puts it away with the rest of his belongings before he sits back on the floor across from me. My eyes flicker up to him and I see him studying things with the same intensity as me. Feeling confident, I begin talking about my theories out loud, maybe this will convince him to say something. I know he knows more than he's letting on.

"Maybe the T group found this letter somewhere and decided to run with it?" I begin with my least favorite theory. Joel frowns and shakes his head,

"No, the Fireflies wouldn't just leave behind instructions like that." He says, confirming a sneaking suspicion I had. I know the Fireflies are, or were, reckless, but even this seems to be something they wouldn't do. They likely wouldn't hand off work that could give them notoriety if they could do it themselves.

"So if it wasn't left behind, then it was given to them." I assume, not seeing another answer to this question. Joel nods his head,

"More than likely. Even before Marlene died, they were runnin' low on numbers." He says, opening up more about his knowledge. I'm not sure if he realizes he's doing it, but I don't point it out.

"But why would the Fireflies have any interest in killing children?" I'm unable to wrap my head around this question. It's obvious in the letter branded by the Fireflies that they want teenagers to be killed. But why? What would the Fireflies gain from killing kids? My eyebrows are so tightly knitted together that I'm unsure if I will ever stop scowling. Joel shrugs his shoulders.

My eyes fall on the map that was found and I stare at the large letter that's situated on Omaha. Why would the Fireflies have interest in killing children, and if they did hand this job off to this group, why did they choose a group so far out west? If they wanted the QZs in the northeastern part of the country to be targeted, wouldn't it make more sense to find some other group closer?

Each time I think I'm unraveling a new clue, there are ten more questions that pop up and it seems answers are in short supply. The worst part is that I know the answers are out there somewhere. My eyes fixate on a star that's located on the map, close to where we are. I point to it and look up at Joel.

"We should be passing through there tomorrow, right?" I want to double check that I'm right. He nods his head,

"Yeah, it's not too far from here. Should get there before the afternoon." He confirms my thoughts.

"Well, I guess we'll be able to see what the stars represent." I say, losing my mental capacity for critical thinking. The exhaustion of today's travelling paired with the unanswerable questions causes my head to hurt.

I put the clues away in my bag and use it as a makeshift pillow. Throwing my arms over my eyes, I block out the rest of the light so I can rest in the pitch black. Before I fall into unconsciousness, I find myself wanting to thank Joel. Without moving my arm from my eyes, I talk to him.

"Goodnight Joel, thank you for coming along with me." My voice is soft and airy, full of tiredness. He grunts in response, probably half asleep himself.

Tomorrow we should be able to find at least one answer, even if it's just a tiny one. Finding out what the stars represent could be a huge part of the puzzle that we're missing.

#joel miller #joel hbo #joel tlou #joel miller tlou #joel miller hbo #joel miller the last of us #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #tlou fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Pt. 9)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else

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Jungkook could not stop thinking about the air hockey game at the arcade. It brought him joy. Peace. He had never felt more confident in the truth that he loved Alex than he had the moment she ran up to him in front of the arcade. The moment she cried her way into his arms. The joy on her face when he convinced Tyler to let them back in. The way she dragged out the game. 

And all because he’d waited. Even when she hadn’t shown up by the time the place closed, he’d been unable to make himself leave, so he’d just sat there in the cool night for a while, torn between feeling sorry for himself and wondering if she still might show up super late… and then she’d run across the parking lot into his arms!

Ok. He’d wait. No problem. For whatever it was she came around to, maybe just friendship again? Ok. Fine. He’d take whatever she would give him.

“Did you lose weight?” Jimin asked with a frown as he circled.

“No?” Jungkook looked down just as Jimin reached out and tugged at his waistband. He gestured to the tailor who came over and did the same. “I didn’t.”

“You’ve been working out a lot,” Namjoon said.

“No more than I used to.”

“Maybe it’s the stress.”

“I’m not stressed,” Jungkook assured them. “Are you stressed?” he asked Jimin.

“Yeah, I’m stressed as shit, don’t ask me that,” Jimin laughed. He looked at the tailor, who assured him, “He can tighten his belt, the pants don’t need to be taken in.”

“It was a joke,” Jungkook argued. Stressed was an understatement. Every minute of the wedding so far seemed to have been a battle Jimin and In’am fought against their parents. Honestly it was sad to see, not at all what Jungkook wanted for his friend around a thing he was so excited about. Jimin’s family was well off but not enough to pay for the caliber of wedding In’am’s parents wanted for their daughter. It wasn’t what In’am wanted either, so Jimin had suggested they elope, but she didn’t want that either. The last year of arguments between both families and the couple had covered everything from location, venue, food, guest list and size, style of dress, whether to serve alcohol, what sort of flowers, what time the whole thing should take place, and what sword Jimin would use to cut the cake since that wasn’t a Korean tradition and he didn’t just have a sword. Her family had not been amused when he asked if he could use his shinai from when he did Kendo. The arguments boiled down to whether the wedding was Egyptian or Korean until In’am apparently took all four parents to task (“it was really something to see; I feared for their lives and I think they did too”) that it was their wedding and they didn’t want any of their money if there were conditions attached to it.

Who was actually getting what they wanted, Jungkook couldn’t say. Weddings in general seemed like a lot of expensive fuss to him, though he was honored Jimin had asked him to be a groomsman along with Taehyung, his own brother, and one of In’am’s. And also happy just to do what he was told and when.

Jungkook shared a look with Taehyung as Jimin finally decided Jungkook’s pants were fine. When he turned away to worry about something else, Jungkook followed around him and began massaging his shoulders.

“Everything’s going to be fine, man.”

“One month left. People are flying in from Korea and Egypt and I don’t even know where else for this. Yesterday In’am’s father called me because he hasn’t seen a draft of the Moa’khar.”

“Ooh, what’s that?” Taehyung asked.

“Egyptians do these big marriage contracts, and that part is how much money I’d give her in the event of a divorce,” Jimin said. Practically shouted. “We have a prenup but he doesn’t need to see it! In’am had told him no Mahr –that’s the part of the dowry I pay to In’am, or maybe it’s both that and what I'd pay to her family? I get confused… Anyway, she said no Mahr, no Moa’khar and they agreed to that. Our pre-nup is separate, the contract we sign during the ceremony is more… spiritual,” Jimin explained. “Poetic. But then he starts asking me questions again, I think he was trying to trip me up. So In’am calls her mom, and get this, apparently In’s mom and my mom have been talking by themselves, because then Eomma calls me and wants to know if we should book belly dancers as a make-good with In’am’s family.”

With a sigh, he sank down onto the platform the tailor had put him on earlier to check the hem of his pants again.

“Make good for what?” Jungkook asked, looking at himself in the mirror. Had he lost weight? He didn’t think so. He wasn’t trying to and didn’t want to; actually he’d rather bulk up more. Maybe he really wasn’t eating enough, now that he spent less time cooking now that there was only himself to eat it. Before living with Namjoon, he’d never realized how many hours a week the guy worked. No wonder he had money, but when did he plan on spending it?

“For them not getting a lot of the things they wanted with this wedding, I guess,” Jimin shrugged. “Actually In’am’s brothers hired belly dancers for the reception. I told her because I didn’t think she’d appreciate any surprises and she was excited so that’ll be fun. Her bridesmaids got a bunch of scarves to give people to tie around their hips.”

“Belly dancers, huh?” Jungkook grinned.  Taehyung snickered and threw a wadded up sock at him, but Jungkook wasn’t being creepy about random women, he was being creepy thinking about Alex belly dancing. She’d be cute. Sometimes it was hard to predict when she’d let go and when she’d be shy, but either way would be cute. He wondered what she was going to wear and if it would show off her tits. Black tie affair and all that.

“Hey, Alex didn’t change her RSVP, right?” he asked. He didn’t care that it was transparent to his friends at this point; they didn’t even raise eyebrows anymore, which he suspected meant they’d all just started to think he was a little pathetic but were too nice to say anything about it. He wasn’t sure he preferred that to when his friends thought he was stupid and in denial. 

Jimin stood at the tailor's beckon and answered, “Nope, she’s good, I just talked to her yesterday.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, uh… she and Hoseok came over for dinner.”

“Ah. I didn’t realize you did that.”

“We haven’t much but In’am has invited them a few times and Alex always said no, but I guess she felt guilty about it because when they came over the first thing she said was ‘I swear I’m not avoiding you guys!’”

“She kinda was for a while though,” Taehyung insisted. Not only had she missed Jungkook’s birthday party, but also Namjoon’s and Jimin’s, though both were smaller celebrations. People had split up and done their own things, if anything, at Halloween, but she and Hoseok had done something else for that too. 

“Yeah but don’t hold that against her,” Jungkook defended. “I think she just felt bad about…”

“That was business with you though, not with us,” Taehyung argued.

“I know but she used to worry that you guys were only friends with her because of me,” Jungkook ratted her out. 

“What?!”

“That’s insane,” Taehyung gasped. “We like her way more than we like you.”

“Yeah, I know, thanks!” Jungkook laughed. “And you know, she runs away from conflict sometimes. A lot of times. But that’s good she was hanging out with you again. It was good to see her at the arcade so maybe that means things are, you know, calming down.” He shrugged to look indifferent.

Taehyung snickered, “Yah, he’s told us about the arcade how many times now?”

“I’ve seen the picture at least three times.”

“No! I did not. Shut up.”

The tailor left Jimin alone to change, but first Jimin came to Jungkook and put his hand on his shoulder and said more gently, “They’re still together though, you know.”

“No, I know. It’s fine. I’m glad she’s happy. That’s fine, it just sucks that our friend group got all fucked up so it’ll be good if we can go back to the way things were. I mean, in some ways,” Jungkook assured them.

A beat, and then: “It’s weird how differently he talks about things now, huh?” Taehyung asked and Jungkook realized belatedly the question was aimed at Jimin, as if Jungkook wasn’t even there. “I think our baby Jungkookie is growing up.”

“Yeah, I think so too! It’s crazy to see.”

“Hey now. No I didn’t! Don’t call me boring! I’ll embarrass you at the wedding.”

“You better fucking not! Get it all out at the bachelor party.”

“But what about all these beautiful women who will be at the wedding?”

“You’ve met them all,” Jimin insisted.

“Have I though? Not all of them,” Jungkook insisted, wiggling his eyebrows. Jimin and Taehyung laughed. But it all sounded hollow to Jungkook, even his own jokes. It was like they knew he was not likely to pick up any women at the wedding. Maybe he would. Why not? Maybe he should. Especially if Alex was there with Hoseok. Did waiting mean not having sex in case that made her think he had lost interest? Or was it better for him to go back to picking up women because it could distract him, especially if she might not ever decide to give him a chance?

Well, whatever. He’d play it by ear. Maybe that bridesmaid would be down again, she’d been fine. He’d see how bad it hurt to watch Alex all dressed up dancing with Hoseok. Would he get a dance with her again like that night at salsa? No, probably not…

Suit fitting done, they packed up and headed back to Jimin’s car. 

“Let’s go do something,” Jungkook suggested.

“Uh… right now? Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Taehyung and Jimin both looked at him like he was crazy. “Come on, we’re always so busy, let’s go… do…”

“Ooh wanna go to the indoor golf–”

“No,” Jungkook and Jimin said together, and then laughed at Taehyung’s pout.

“Jimin chooses, he’s the one with the wedding in a month,” Jungkook suggested.

“Let’s get some food,” Jimin suggested, which Jungkook was glad to hear, because the wedding diet talk had seemed a little too much to him lately. “And then we can shoot some hoops? You want to?”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll do it for you,” Taehyung conceded, pressing his hand to his chest. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling up for it,” Jimin said to Jungkook as they carefully placed their suits in the trunk. “You stopped hanging out almost as much as Alex did for a while there…”

“I hung out sometimes!”

“Yeah sometimes but not like you used to,” Taehyung pointed out. “We almost thought you had a girlfriend. I didn’t because you play way too many video games with me but–”

“How do you know I just don’t have a really cool girlfriend who likes video games?”

They both laughed at him. 

“Ok fine. No girlfriend. I just took some time to chill. It’s good. You should try it sometime,” he nudged Jimin.

“Yeah, on my honeymoon.”

“Noooo that’s not what a honeymoon is for!” Taehyung cried. “You’re supposed to be fucking!”

“Yeah, we’ll sleep after.”

“You sleep after?! I just go all night,” Taehyung grinned.

Jimin grimaced, “Ooh, you must not be doing it right then. It ought to put you out.”

Their banter made Jungkook smile and he was grateful for the spotlight to leave him again. He knew his friends had worried about him and offered whatever comfort they could in their own ways, and that he’d been mostly numb to it. He hadn’t wanted to admit how badly he was hurting. He was embarrassed he’d told everyone about getting rejected. And mostly he was just really sad. Really sad. A kind of sadness he didn’t really know to deal with. 

But that evening at the arcade had changed something. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt it, so he wasn’t surprised that Jimin and Taehyung were noticing something different in him. He thought they might be misunderstanding and thinking he was “over it” now or something. He wasn’t! But he felt like his and Alex’s souls had connected just during that short time hanging out in a way they hadn’t for a long time. The mixture of regret and grief and longing wasn’t gone, but it was easier to co-exist with suddenly. He needed at least occasional contact with Alex for nourishment, and maybe this meant they could ease back into that now. He’d see her at the wedding. Maybe they could be friends again. That was healing. He had hope for that.

Plus Mama Song had said his dream probably meant –not a dream about Alex, but she’d been at Eomma’s when he went home a few days ago and she’d asked him if had any interesting dreams lately and then said it sounded like he was dreaming about springtime and rebirth of something lost. He liked that. He also found it really weird that their parents didn’t seem to think anything was weird about Alex moving out of the apartment and them not coming over for family dinner at the same time anymore but no one was asking him about it. So he was just going to do what he did best for now and play dumb.

“Where are we going to shoot hoops?”

“Yoongi knows a place, I’ll call him while we eat,” JImin said. “Can we really do this? Just play for an afternoon?”

Taehyung glanced back at Jungkook and agreed, “Yeah, we have to do this, you’re right. Between the divorce and wedding, we’re all boring and worn out.”

“Namjoon’s divorce was years ago,” Jungkook pointed out.

“Your divorce, dumbass.”

“Ohhhhh hey let’s not call it my divorce…” He suspected that would not go over well with Alex. Even if it felt kind of right.

“Do you think being divorced improves or damages your game?”

“Seems to be doing ok for Namjoon.”

“Yeah I can’t believe he asked for a +1 this close to the wedding. In’am told him yes but there was murder in her eyes,” Jimin snickered. “I think we’ll be doing great if we get through this wedding without my wife committing homicide.”

“See? This is why me and Sabina are going to elope.”

“Are you?!” Jimin gasped.

Taehyung gasped too, “No no not yet! Don’t slam on the breaks, you’ll get butt-bumped!”

“Read ended,” Jungkook laughed. “Butt-bumped?”

“We’ve just talked about it and agreed. Not yet though. Promise I won’t propose at your wedding, it’s not my style.”

Jimin’s phone buzzed as he pulled into the parking lot of a lunch place, “Ah, good, we’re on for hoops with Yoongi after this. Good idea, Jungkook. It’s been a stressful few months, it’ll be fun just to do something like that.”

And of that was the set up for Jimin breaking his nose four weeks before his wedding.

Alex could not stop thinking about the air hockey game at the arcade. 

The fight with Hoseok had been unpleasant, but they’d made their apologies and moved past it. That was fine. She felt like she’d shown him something ugly in herself but he didn’t seem to think so, so ok, they were good again. Neither of them wanted to dwell on it so they didn’t. They’d had plenty of sex, snuggles, and pleasant times in the two weeks since then. They’d gone to dinner with Jimin and In’am. They’d done karaoke with Taehyung, Sabina, and Seokjin.  

Hoseok had invited her to go home with him for Thanksgiving and she had agreed! Why not! He’d met her family! That was the sort of thing you did when things were going well with your boyfriend!

She had tried to blame the residual thinkies on Hoseok at first, and fear for her relationship after such a rough day and her own exposed lies but no, that couldn’t be it. Everything there was once again smooth. She wasn’t even that stressed about meeting his family! Maybe it was naivety because everything had gone so well so far, and he was confident that would go well, so why shouldn’t she be?

There was something sad always on her shoulder now, knowing the arcade was closed. She’d tried blaming it on that. She drove past the mall on her way to work from her parents’ house now and so she constantly saw the aged outline of the sign that had been ripped off the exterior. No more arcade, just the ghost of one, and all those memories tucked into a past she’d tried to close herself off from in an attempt to…

To what?

It wasn’t that she couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to think about her time with Jungkook at the arcade because every time she did, something inside her fractured. She didn’t want to remember that his smile had been for her when she’d come running up; he’d waited without even knowing if she was still coming! And that haunted her, that he waited. She didn’t want to remember how cool it was when he got them one last game. She didn’t want to remember their last game, and the lazy click of the puck as neither of them tried to end the game. Of course it felt like they were the only two people in the world. The arcade was closed! They were the only ones!

“My parents don’t mind for us to stay in the same room,” Hoseok was telling her. “So we’ll just stay at their house and save on the hotel since the flights were expensive. Sorry about that… I don’t usually go home for Thanksgiving so I didn’t think about it.”

“It’s fine,” she assured him. “I’m not paying rent right now so I’m just rolling in dough.” He grinned and continued on about what they’d do while they were there. His parents had only gotten into American Thanksgiving in a big way in the last few years as they got more involved in a local church, and the collection of food wouldn’t be only American Thanksgiving dishes, and Hoseok had actually only been once, but he said it was a nice time with his family, who were fun and festive people. They were big on Black Friday shopping so they joked it was a nourishment ceremony before the next day and an excuse to get the family together. Hoseok’s mom was the sort of woman who said “We are very fortunate; we should celebrate every day of thanks in any culture.” 

They sounded wonderful. Alex recognized how grown up it was that she’d be getting on a plane and flying home with her boyfriend to meet his family. And while she knew she ought to be nervous, she honestly wasn’t. Hoseok’s family sounded great. Probably she’d get along with them just fine since Hoseok thought so. Or maybe she was nervous and that’s why she felt so weird lately and she just didn’t understand her own feelings! It wouldn’t be the first time that was true!

“I’m really excited,” he beamed, the truth of it shining through his smile. Alex returned his smile and hoped he didn’t notice the slight hollowness to it. He didn’t seem to. He pulled to a stop in front of her parent’s house and leaned in to kiss her; she pressed her fingers to his cheek to keep him from lingering in case her parents or neighbors were watching. 

“Me too,” she belatedly assured him, then poked his dimples. He was cute. He was so fucking cute and nice and handsome and sweet and thoughtful.

She slammed the door a little too hard and waved as he pulled away, then took her time stomping across the yard. Baba was slow on the leaves this year and her brother wasn’t here to help. Mama had said they should just hire someone this year but Baba was being stubborn.

She needed to pack.

She sat in the middle of her bed, clothes spilled around her all over the room. She always hated packing for things, even things she looked forward to. And she was looking forward to this! She was! Meeting Hoseok’s family was the next step in her perfect relationship with an amazing guy, it was romantic, it was so fucking great!

Baba walked past her room with his sweatpants and sweatshirt on and Alex leapt up.

“Baba! Are you going for a walk? Wait for me, I’ll come too!”

“Oh, Alex, yes, ok.” He looked surprised but also like it was faked; she suspected he had hoped she would join but didn’t want to ask. Two peas in a pod, they’d been called. Copy paste. She wasn’t sure that was always flattering, but could admit to herself it was true. She minded less as she got older. She didn’t care about waiting to be asked right now though, she was psyched for a reason to delay packing, and grabbed her coat and met him at the front door.

“The leaves are out of control, Baba,” she complained as they hiked through them to get to the sidewalk.

“Yes… your brother isn’t here to help me this year, you know. Maybe I will ask Jungkook and Jin-hyun to help an old man. Should I?”

“Why don’t you just hire someone?” Alex countered. “They’ll come through with their leaf blowers and big tarps and have the whole yard spotless in like an hour.” She shoved her hands into her pockets as a nippy wind blew right through the curtain of her hair, no protection at all. At least she had a hat but she should have bought a scarf. Baba was tougher against the cold than she was, clearly, but looked cute and serious about his walk with his matching sweatsuit and the Packers hat with a bright pompom on the top. 

But Baba made a face, “No, I don’t want every leaf gone. Where will the bees and butterflies sleep in the winter? They need some of the leaves, I read it.”

“Uh huh.”

“And to have a yard… it’s my yard, it’s my job. It is a blessing to have a yard you can break your back working in.”

“Don’t break your back, Baba! It’s a blessing to have money to pay someone else to do it.”

“I won’t break my back, I’m not that old,” he teased. “I was being dramatic. I learned it from my daughters.”

“Sexist.”

Baba chuckled and continued, “Before this house you know we lived in a little apartment. My whole life I lived in little apartments. When we bought this house I felt like a millionaire to have so much space! I watched you three grow up in this yard with your soccer balls and your,” he gestured his hands turning over, “somersaults and your snowsuits. I take care of the yard with my own hands and say thank you to the house for all it gives us.”

“Yeah but isn’t hiring yard guys like sending the house to a fancy spa?” Alex countered which made him laugh again. Baba’s laughter was healing, always. To make him laugh again, she asked, “Why do you like the Packers, Baba? We don’t live in Green Bay. I don’t even know where Green Bay is.”

“Michigan. Didn’t I send you to school?”

“Yeah but I didn’t pay attention,” she joked.

“You paid attention. Only one of my children paid attention in school,” he chuckled. “But it’s ok.”

“Is it? Even though none of your children are lawyers or doctors or even married with children?”

Baba’s face went a little slack as he asked, “Did I teach you that’s what I want? I want my children to be happy. If being a lawyer with a lot of money is happy, that’s one way. If that’s making the best drinks at the Starbucks and dating a nice man, that’s good too. If that’s riding around on a bike with the ladies in Italy– yes, I know what your brother is doing there! I am old, I’m not a fool!” 

“He is very happy though,” Alex snickered.

“The world is very different to me. I think it is easy as a parent– you want the best things for your children. You think the best thing for them is the same best thing for you,” Baba said and Alex kept quiet because this felt far more profound and meaningful than what she had expected on a walk. Usually they just roasted the neighbors’ ugly ass dogs and heckled any cats peeking out of windows and fantasized about what they wanted Mama to cook for dinner.

“Very long ago I realized I can want one thing for them or I can let my children tell me what they want. Maybe I worry that they are choosing something that isn’t what is the best thing for them, but is my choice better? Maybe it is better here, you have more money, you have insurance and you can buy a house, but is it better over there? Are you happy? Maybe my children will resent me in old age because we did not push more this way or that. It’s nice to do this though. My parents did not act like this for me. I know they loved me but I did not go on walks with them because I wanted to.” He smiled at her, and his roundabout way of saying how much he enjoyed their walks together made her tear up a little.

“I think you did everything really good,” Alex insisted. “And I really appreciate that you let me move back home. I know it’s a burden to be feeding me and–”

“My children are never a burden,” Baba corrected. “So say the same thing when I am old and feeble.” Alex laughed and nodded. “We worked very hard all the time to make a home our children can return to. You know in China, sometimes you live together as a family forever. I think that’s nice! Hoseok can move in too!”

“Um… probably not,” she giggled.

“Ok… maybe someday,” he winked. “I think we are happy.”

“Yeah.”

“Also none of my children had the grades for medical school.”

“Baba!”

“Can you see anyone doing the bar test for law? Not me! Do not try to climb a mountain that is not for you to climb, that’s the secret to happy,” Baba laughed, loud and proud of his teasing. 

“But what if it’s not always obvious what the right mountain to climb is,” Alex demanded. “Then what?”

“Ah.”

“You’re an old man, it’s easy for you to look back at all the mountains you climbed and say which ones were right and which you should have skipped, but I’m young and stupid, Baba. if you know the mountains to climb to be happy, I’m ready for you to tell me now.”

“You are not happy?” He didn’t look at her when he said it, so it didn’t feel like a real question. It felt like one he already knew the answer to.

“I am.”

“Ok then.”

“And I’m also not.”

He nodded and looked over when a neighbor’s dog barked but didn’t interrupt to point out they’d given the dog a very stupid haircut. Alex would have appreciated the distraction because honestly she wasn’t sure what to say about her personal unsettled state. She couldn’t even speak honestly with herself about anything right now, she thought that was a core problem. And as much as she loved her parents, she didn’t usually go to them with personal problems of this sort. Not that she’d had many boy problems in the past. But that wasn’t the sort of thing you talked to your Dad about! 

“I should be happy,” she said, vaguely. “Literally everything is going so well for me right now. I’m saving up money living at home. I have a great boyfriend and I'm going to meet his family in a couple of days. I love my job and I just got a small raise.”

“You did! Alex, I am so proud of you, they don’t pay you enough, you are the best worker they have,” he gloated, clapping her on the shoulder.

“Ok I mean it was like another quarter an hour, but thanks, Baba.”

“And you do not feel happy? That’s ok. Maybe it is hard to go home when you live free and partied for years.”

Alex’s mouth twitched as she debated what to say, then decided, “It’s definitely different. Not that I was partying all the time! But it’s kind of weird figuring out how to act because I’m under your roof but I’m also a grown up… but it’s not even really that. I mean I do miss living with Jungkook. A lot. We had a lot of fun living together but…”

“Sometimes things change,” Baba offered when she trailed off. 

“Yeah. Things changed. I met this amazing guy and Hoseok is just great and dating him is easy and wonderful. I feel like I’m moving forward in life. But sometimes things don’t change, or people don’t change– or how do you know they’ve changed just because they say so? Do you trust your experience or what they’re saying?”

Baba raised his eyebrows like this was a question above his pay grade. She realized she was being too vague to probably get any useful advice, if Baba even had any to give. Mama had been his first and only love as far as Alex knew. They’re married young and while she didn’t have any delusion that life had always been easy for them, they were still happy and together after all this time, close, romantic, supportive. Best friends. So clearly they had chosen the right mountain to climb. Or the right person to climb the mountain with. Or whatever.

She sighed and decided not to say anything more. It would just be weird and confusing even if she could figure out how to articulate it. But how could she explain the feelings to Baba when she didn’t even understand them herself?

No. Worse than that. 

She did understand them.

She just didn’t want to. 

She didn’t want to look at how fucked up it was that she’d been ready to tear her boyfriend to shreds because she had wanted to spend time with her ex-best friend so badly. That in fact she’d lied about it.

She didn’t want to look at the red flag planted in how fast her heart had raced when she’d seen Jungkook stand up from that curb, still waiting for her. And how instantly she’d been soothed by his arms around her. And how blissfully content she had been idly knocking a puck back and forth with him in an empty arcade. She didn’t want to think about how she always hoped she and Baba would run into him visiting his parents and what it meant to want his attention so badly –not just as a victory that finally he realized she was a women just like all the other ones he fucked, but because she, pathetically, wanted his attention just as much as they did. The same kind of attention and more. Because she wanted all the other things with him too: the closeness, the grossness, the teasing and bickering and competing, the comfort. Life with him had been so close to perfect except for that whole part where he had no romantic or sexual interest in her. She wanted romantic and sexual interest– no, she needed that! She deserved that! And Hoseok gave her that! How could she truly tell if Jungkook suddenly said he did have those feelings? It wasn't like he’d been secretly thinking dirty thoughts about her all these years they’d been friends, she would have known!  

She didn’t want to admit how badly she wished it was true. All of Jungkook? She could have all of him? She could be everything for him? He wanted that? It was hard to imagine and yet she had worked hard not to imagine it many times before. At times it had been a real struggle to enforce that friendship boundary and not read too much into every little interaction but over time she’d gotten so good at rejecting that longing that it finally shut up. All the women he fucked had made it easier in some ways. It was easier to box up the longing when constantly reminded that it was a dead end. You were never an option.

And now what? Jungkook was many things, but he’d never been a liar, not to her. She’d always known when he was lying. It didn’t feel to her like he had been lying. Even if he was dating Anita now, which she had been too chicken shit to ask for confirmation from him or any of their friends, even if that was true, it didn’t mean he was lying. People dated someone even when someone else had their heart all the time. 

It could happen to anyone.

But it couldn’t be true. 

But he had risked and lost everything, he wouldn’t have done that if he meant it. Unless he really didn’t care about her at all! 

But Jungokok moved quickly from loss to victory; he wouldn’t linger at the site of a failure for no reason. 

But he had dragged that air hockey game out too. He was lingering. Wasn’t he? She had tried not to linger. She never wanted to linger in her life over a guy who didn’t linger back; she’d made that rule for herself very young while watching her friends lose their fucking heads over idiot boys. She wouldn’t be one of them! And Jungkook was such an idiot boy!

God, he was so stupid. His timing was so bad. If he had said these things to her six months ago, then what? Would she have believed him then…?

But it hadn’t been true! 

It was too much to look at. She couldn’t. Looking at that was like looking at the sun; she was perpetually drawn to it and yet it burned her eyes so she should not. 

What if when she had asked him to go to the wedding with her, he had said yes? 

But he hadn’t! He had said an emphatic no! He had launched her into someone else’s arms and then suddenly regretted it? It was possible but fucked up! So stupid! And then what, he expected her to just drop her happiness because he changed his band? He’d said go find someone else and then no wait not like that! 

Ok that really did seem like something stupid Jungkook would do…

The timing didn’t matter. Maybe the timing was the gift of all this, that she had not had to make this decision before she understood that someone else wonderful was out there who could recognize her and love her much faster, who didn’t make her work for his attention, who presented a clear and stable and happy future. Hoseok was a man! Jungkook was a child! They had been children together and now she wanted to grow up and–

But maybe he wanted to grow up with her too? Maybe he would? He was changing too. She’d felt that at the arcade. She’d felt that at the phone store. Honestly, she felt it in the way he hadn’t been texting her, harassing her to come back, drunk-dialing her, going out of his way to make sure she knew he was still getting mad pussy. When she moved out, he’d given her that shockingly mature speech, and dinner, and left her alone. He had changed.

But was it permanent? Was it enough? Was it what was best for her? 

“You are very quiet,” Baba mused. “Are you tired already?”

“It’s just that there’s a cozy and familiar mountain that I care about a lot but I understood a long time ago it didn’t have a path for me,” Alex said. “And maybe that mountain doesn’t go anywhere anyway. It may not even be a very tall mountain, I don’t know! And this other mountain is perfect, it’s paradise, the path is easy and wonderful. But now maybe that other mountain does have a path… but I don’t know what that path is like and I’m already on a really nice easy happy path…”

Baba didn’t say anything. Probably this didn’t even make sense to him. Metaphors weren’t her strong point and this was an awkward thing to talk to your dad about.

“But I can’t stop looking back at the other mountain,” she murmured. “And wondering where that path goes… But it would be so stupid to leave this perfect, beautiful, wonderful adult mountain for a mountain that didn’t even think of letting me climb until I was on another mountain.”

She interrupted herself with a sigh and decided to stop rambling about this to her dad who likely did not want to think about his daughters having boy problems to begin with, much less climbing boy mountains.

Shortly after her father gave a similar sigh, “Ah, I want the easy life for my children. Didn’t you listen to my nice speech? I was a good father saying all those things! I told you easy is not necessarily happy. You can choose which you want. Only you choose the right mountain for you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks looking at the mountains. You think your mama is Mount Tai? No. But to me she is the only mountain worth the climb.”

“So you do know I’m talking about boys.”

“I know you are talking about the boys.”

“I had hoped my metaphor was confusing enough.”

“Yes it’s confusing but I know your mind sometimes,” he teased.

“So then tell me what to do.”

“Hm…. no.” He grinned.

“Babaaaa.”

“Ask Mama, she will tell you what to do.”

“I don’t really want someone to tell me what to do,” she admitted. “I just want to see into the future. I want to know for sure how it all turns out.”

“Yes, it’s easy to take the risk if you already know everything!” he laughed.

“There’s risk no matter what I do,” she complained. “No matter what I do, I lose something.”

Baba nodded, “Yes that is true. You lose this, you gain that.”

“But how do I decide which risk is worth it? I could risk everything and wind up with nothing,” she pointed out. There wasn’t actually any guarantee she and Hoseok would last a lifetime. Just like there was no certainty that Jungkook really meant what he thought he meant. 

“You will always have something,” he corrected gently. “You have me and Mama. You have your brother and sister. You have a home you can come to. If no mountains you see right now are right, you can walk with me until you see a mountain that is. Maybe you don’t even like mountains.”

“Baba! Do you mean I’m gay?!”

“No no! I mean maybe you want to die alone!”

“Baba!”

“In a happy way!”

“BABA!”

She was laughing too hard the more flustered he got trying to explain himself. It was hysterical. Finally he calmed down enough to clarify,

“You don’t need a boy, Alex. Boys are too much trouble. Even your brother is trouble. It’s ok to live at home forever, I don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Baba. But I hope I don’t die alone. I want what you and Mama have.”

“Really? You think we are cool?”

“Not at all,” she teased. “But you’re happy and in love even though you’ve been together for a hundred years.”

“Yes,” he grinned. His face always lit up when he talked about her mom. The words didn’t even matter, they were always infused with so much love. She wanted that. A lifetime of that. One of these trouble boys had treated her that same way since the moment they met. The answer was so obvious!

Hoseok!

And yet.

Would it just take time for that ‘and yet’ to settle down and for her to accept the mountain was behind her and the path likely unstable and possibly not very long and also probably full of stinging nettles and bears and vultures and–

Ok she might have lost the metaphor now.

Suddenly Baba laughed and pointed, “Look at those ugly twins, all they do is yap. Why do you get those dogs?”

“Baba, you’re so mean,” she laughed. “You should get a dog!”

“Not like that one!”

“Ok what kind of dog do you want. Let’s talk about that now. Dogs are better than mountains.”

“Dogs are better than mountains,” Baba agreed. “I want a big dog. Big. He can sit in the window and scare people away. Mama will say no…” 

It was pure coincidence he saw them leaving. He had agreed to help Appa with the leaves in their yard since another layer had fallen on top of the ones he’d already mulched. Jin-hyun had declined to help since Claudia was now a week overdue. The baby was getting evicted on Friday “whether he likes it or not” apparently. Because of that, they’d all decided not to drive to visit his grandparents and the rest of his family this year and would just crash the celebration the Songs hosted. Alex’s parents invited basically anyone who looked unattached to a big pot luck and it was lots of fun. The couple of years his family joined instead of traveling, he’d thought it was more fun than his own family’s celebration; they didn’t really “celebrate” so much as take advantage of the time off from work to get together and hang out, which was fine but not quite as cinematic.

As he raked leaves into a pile to bag, Hoseok’s nice blue car drove past with Alex in the passenger’s seat. He waved but they must not have seen him and they continued on. 

When he and Appa finally went inside to take a break, Eomma had cool water waiting for him in the kitchen and a tray of snacks. Appa took his and went to sit in the living room but Jungkook lingered in the kitchen to see if his mom would volunteer any gossip.

She never disappointed.

“How is the yardwork going?”

“It’s good. We’re almost done I think.”

“Good, when you’re done with that you should go see if Mr. Song wants any help. He still needs to do his yard before the party Thursday.”

“What, Alex isn’t helping him?” he joked.

“No she can’t I guess. She’s flying away today.”

“Wha? Flying?”

“Yes, Hoseok is taking her home with him. His family is in… hm…”

“San Francisco.”

“Yes, San Francisco.”

He sipped his water and tried to look like he didn’t care.

So Hoseok was taking her home? She’d bought a plane ticket to go. Things must be going well for them then. He wondered if Hoseok had paid for her ticket. She must be excited to do that; she’d always wanted to go to San Francisco. 

“Yes? Do you feel fine about that?” Eomma asked. “You forgot to stop drinking. Don’t choke on the ice!”

  Jungkook gave a noisy satisfied sound like he’d just been really thirsty and set the glass down, “Yes, thanks Eomma. That’s some good water.”

“Gukka?”

“Eomma?”

“Everything is all right?”

“Yes, why? What do you mean?”

Eomma shrugged and went back to shaving the potatoes. He thought she was making kimchi pancakes for dinner and felt happy about that. Those were all the feelings he needed.

So she hadn’t felt any particular way then about the arcade. He’d imagined that connection. Or it was just friendly to her. Or it was really nothing. 

“I may just stay home with Namjoon on Thursday, so don’t say I’m going to the dinner,” he decided.

“You don’t go just because Alex won’t be there?”

“Why does that matter? She has a boyfriend.”

Eomma’s eyebrows raised, “Oh you only want to see her when she doesn’t have a boyfriend? Are you still jealous to share her attention?” The casual teasing was a little too pointed for his comfort.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“What happened then? She moved home, her parents say they don’t know why. I don’t know why. You and Alex aren’t saying anything so I guess it’s something serious.”

Jungkook frowned, “No, don’t ask questions about it.”

“Then why did she move home?”

“Our lease was up.”

“Gukka,” she scowled, then lifted her hand and pressed it to his cheek, holding him in place while she looked at him. He hated the scrutiny of her stare but could never leave when she did that. “Ah. I see.”

“What do you see?” he glared and crossed his arms and leaned against the counter after stealing a carrot. He didn’t actually want the carrot but he wanted something in his hand, something between his teeth.

“You realized you love her too late.”

“Damn.”

“Ha, yes?”

He sighed and nodded and chewed the carrot with all the strength of his jaw.

“A mother always knows these things,” she said. 

“You could have told me.”

“I tried! But you never want to listen to your eomma, either one of you! You have a big heart and a big brain, Gukka, but they never work together. I’m glad to hear this though. It’s good; she’s a good girl. She’s good for you. If I was going to choose your wife, I would choose her.”

“Really?” Jungkook asked around the masticated carrot. It was all he could choke out, and choke he did, because the reference to marriage was something he hadn’t been prepared for.

“Yes! Smart, funny, beautiful, she takes care of you, she makes you slow down, sometimes you even listen to her! She’s stubborn though, that is her flaw.”

“Yeah, she is that,” Jungkook chuckled. 

“Both of you! So headstrong, so sure you’re right. You can take the punches with each other but I always wondered, which of them will say something first? Too much pride, ego…”

“Say something about…”

“Love. But then years went by and you were both too comfortable. Nobody was going to say it. Something had to change or you two would be like that forever and maybe that’s ok but maybe it wasn’t enough.”

“It was enough for me,” he insisted. “I would have been happy–”

“It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for her and it wasn’t enough for you. All the women you chase, Gukka…”

“Eomma! What do you know about that,” he scowled.

“Yes, a mother knows! My son is popular, that’s good but it’s not enough.”

“It had to be enough. She’s not interested in more than that with me, so, fine. That’s all. That’s why she moved out, because I told her how I felt and let her choose and she chose the other guy.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head. He would have felt less defeated by this conversation a day ago, but the knowledge she was off to see Hoseok’s family dragged him down. He felt what little hope had flickered to life now snuffed out. 

“You know what I think?” she asked.

He didn’t want to hear it actually but wouldn’t be rude and pressed, “What?”

“I think you are impatient. You took so long to figure it out? Now you have to be patient. You love a stubborn woman and she has to realize you are the best man she could have.”

“If that’s true,” he mumbled.

“It is true.” Eomma set everything down and he knew he was in for it. “You are smart, you are funny, you are kind. You make everyone smile, all the way back when you were a little boy. You are good at everything you try, it was very hard on your brother! You work hard, you try to help everyone. You are such a good son, you come here and help your father with the leaves. You are strong and handsome and you have good hair and good skin now, you will age well like your father.”

“Thanks, Eomma,” he said, trying to let the compliments brush off him because they embarrassed him. She was his mom, of course she saw the best in him. But he was selfish too, short-sighted, overly competitive, blunt when he should be soft, soft when he should be strong. He took jokes too far and struggled to be serious about things he didn’t care about, especially if caring about it inconvenienced him. He worked hard but then he was lazy. He was thoughtful until he forgot stuff. She was right that he was stubborn and impatient. He was good at lots of things but not great at anything and he wasn’t sure that working at a phone store was that impressive although he made ok money and was a good employee. He was dedicated to his hobbies, though good luck finding a girl impressed with his gaming skills. Although Alex was. 

“You are a good man,” Eomma said, taking hold of his arms. “I raised the best men with the best hearts and the best minds. Alex knows you are the best but it’s hard for a girl when the boy they like doesn’t notice them. You have to give her time to decide if she can forgive you.”

“I won’t hold my breath. Hoseok is everything she wants so I think she’s good now,” he shrugged her off, then decided to hug her instead, “But thanks, Eomma.”

“Hoseok is a nice boy but he is not you so, we will see. I know what I think will happen but ok, you don’t want to listen to me. Tell Appa dinner will be ready at six. He already knows, but tell him anyway. Sometimes you have to be like that with people.”

Jungkook took the hint but knew also that it was too late. He was fucking bummed now. Even his own mom knew he was an idiot, and while her blind devotion was sweet, it didn’t change the painful words he’d just said out loud: Hoseok was everything Alex wanted and he didn’t need to be forgiven for anything. Apparently she was happier with the changes she’d made for him, and good for her. He was glad she was happy. He would have been gladder if it was with him. But it wasn’t.

Ok. Time to let her go now? Wait a little longer? How long? Rebound? Fuck around? Find out? Maybe he ought to shock everyone and actually give dating a try. He didn’t believe for a second there was another Alex out there, she was one in seven billion, but there must be a second banana somewhere, right? Was he ready for that? He wasn’t so sure. He thought Alex was the only woman worth the effort of a relationship, but maybe he should try. Maybe he’d just aimed too high with Alex. Maybe this heartbreak was the thing that changed him into a better person.

Was he doing an ok job seeming like he was ok? Was he hiding that the loss of Alex ripped him apart right down to the core? He felt like he’d overslept and missed the flight that would take him to a happy life and now he was stuck with this one. And without Alex, it was lonely, sad, and lacking in purpose. He felt like he was slowly bleeding to death. 

And people did this over and over? Lots of relationships? Insane. People were insane. Or maybe people just didn’t connect as deeply as he had with Alex. They’d fused together. She’d taken half his blood, half his oxygen, half his heart, and more than her half of the braincell they shared. Unfair!

Jokes. Jokes were all he had right now. Jungkook was the biggest joke of all.

He went to finish the leaves and then go see if Baba Song needed help with his before he went home to listen to sad songs and have a little cry.

“... please close tray tables and return your seats to their upright position…”

Alex pushed the button but had to tug the back of her seat to get it upright. Her actions were too sharp; she must have seemed frustrated because Hoseok laughed and helped her while shoving the magazine he’d been reading back in the seat pocket. He was the kind of guy who did that –not perusing through Sky Mall, which was the kinda guy Alex was, but buying magazines in the airport he could perch in his seat and flip through, commenting on skincare products and bag adverts and showing her salacious write-in advice columnists.

Alex felt sick. She’d felt sick the whole flight. Hoseok had asked if she got air sick and delicately passed a barf bag to her, but it wasn’t that. She’d wrestled to get the air vent to nail her in the head with a stream of arctic air but then it kept rustling her hair which made her want to scream so she had to move it off and just sweat.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong this was wrong.

Hoseok grinned and learned around her to see out the window as the plane began its descent and pressed his hand over hers on the arm rest between them. It felt like a metal claw to her, trapping her there. Handcuffing her in place. The flimsy plane seatbelt felt like an iron chain. She closed her eyes as the adjustment in altitude made her head spin, and wished that was all that was making her stomach twist in knots. She wished she got air sick.

They were near the back of the plane because they’d bought their tickets late. The wait to deplane was excruciating. Alex couldn’t even fidget looking at her phone. Her palms were so sweaty and when Hoseok took her hand, she flinched. He must feel the clamminess but he didn’t pull away because of course he didn’t. He was such a fucking great guy. He’d hold your hand even when you were sick and sweaty.

Alas, he was the sort of guy who called his parents to loudly let them know they’d landed even though they were still on the plane, but sure, he had to have some flaws. She wasn’t sure which annoyed her more, that he’d made the call, or that he sounded so cheerful and excited. Of course he was! He hadn’t been home for Thanksgiving in years, he’d told her. It hadn’t seemed worth the cost of the flight when he could go home for Christmastime instead, so usually he just worked. He had intended to do that too. But then, despite her laughable earlier fears that he might put his career above all, he had placed her first and decided to take the time off so he could take her home and introduce her to his family. A girl’s dream come true!

Finally the aisle cleared enough and they could get their things out of the overhead compartment. She pulled her bag too hard and it landed on her face, which seemed exactly right.

“Wait, let me help,” Hoseok laughed. “There’s no rush, we’re at the end! Let me help you, baby.”

Alex’s toes curled in her sneakers. 

He followed behind her up the aisle and off the plane. She awkwardly thanked the pilot while Hoseok had a more cheerful greeting, like he and the pilot and attendants were old friends and it had been so good to see them again. The skybridge was deliciously cold and Alex lifted her hair off her neck and decided to bun it up after all. She had wanted to leave it down and look more dignified while meeting Hoseok’s parents, who would be picking them up from baggage claim, but…

“Hey I need to use the toilet,” she said, stumbling over the words in a way that probably made her sound like she was having a medical episode. She didn’t even wait for Hoseok’s confirmation, just made a beeline for the nearest restroom and locked herself in a stall so she could breathe. She did in fact need to piss because she’d chugged ginger ale on the plane and refused to use the plane toilet and it really felt like her bladder was going to erupt. But it had served as a distraction so she had appreciated the pain. Couldn’t meet his parents if she pissed herself, right?

A distraction from…

Alex closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to ground herself in this pleasant, peaceful location of the airport restroom. Banging seats, swinging doors, the loudest flushes known to man kind, jetway engine hand dryers, kids yelling for their moms, it wrapped around her and made her want to scream.

And yet nothing could drown out what was actually going on in her head:

Alex was very far up the wrong mountain.

Alex was going to meet the family of a man whom she adored, but who was not and would never be first in her heart because her heart was stupid.

Alex did not want to be here. It was wrong that she was here. Because Hoseok deserved to be someone’s everything and she wanted so badly for him to be her everything because he was wonderful! Just perfect enough to be actually perfect!

And yet when they had driven past Jungkook’s parent’s house and he waved at them from where he was raking leaves in the yards, Alex just felt that squidgy feeling down deep that told her she was going the wrong direction. That feeling had not quieted down as they’d checked in, or boarded their flight, or settled down in their seats. What should have been stressful and exciting in a good way was dreadful because Alex knew what was wrong, and denying it only made it louder and more certain in her mind.

Alex was stupidly, annoyingly, undeniably in love with her asshole ex-best friend.

FUCK. 

The timing was terrible.

She could not stay in a relationship with Hoseok. It wasn’t fair to him, it wasn’t fair to her, it was making her someone she didn’t want to be. Not when her feelings for Jungkook were driving her to lie. Not when moving out and moving on didn’t remove Jungkook even a little bit from her thoughts. Not when seeing him gave her that rush that seeing Hoseok should have but no longer did. Not when the thought of seeing Jungkook flooded her with warmth and joy and comfort. And terror. And relief. It wasn’t even just about Hoseok deserving to be with someone better than she could be for him, it was about what she wanted too.

What she wanted was Jungkook.

Objectively the worse choice! Which made her want to laugh and slam her head against the bathroom stall wall. He was dumb and messy and selfish and gross and lazy and hardworking and funny and warm and sincere and reliable when it mattered and he was hers. He was supposed to be! And if he had finally realized that and she didn’t give it at least a try… even if it cost her Hoseok… she’d never forgive herself. She’d always wonder if she could have truly had what she wanted. And if it all went to shit, at least she would know she tried.  

She couldn’t stay with Hoseok.

How long had she known this? She didn’t even know! At any point in the last few weeks she should have stopped this. Why hadn’t she? Because she wanted ot want this more, Hoseok was so kind and wonderful and good and loving him was easy but it wasn’t the thing she wanted most.

She never should have gotten on that plane. 

But she had and she was here and the panic of being on a ride she couldn’t get off of was making her queasy. She’d gone too far the wrong direction. This was wrong! She was drowning! And it was going to keep getting worse if she didn’t do something. Things were going to be really bad for a while but then there might be Jungkook. Or she could keep doing this and there would never be Jungkook again, and that sounded so much worse.

That thought gave her some comfort. Some strength. It might feel terrible and shitty and too late but maybe, maybe he would be there waiting for her again.

She walked out of the stall because things had quieted down and looked at herself in the mirror. The way she saw it she had several choices. And they all sucked balls. And they were all going to be terrible. There was no good path here.

Option One. She could push through Thanksgiving with Hobi’s family and pretend to be happy and in love and charm his family but secretly feel like a monster and then break up with him in the near future.

Option Two. She could lie and say there was a family emergency she needed to turn around immediately and go home for. She did not think Hoseok would believe this and also she’d probably go to hell forever for lying to a great guy again.

Option Three. She could break up with Hoseok right now and send him heartbroken to meet his parents alone while she went to book a flight back home.

“Oh god,” she murmured and leaned heavily against the sink, feeling like she was going to be sick. There was no way out of it though. His parents were waiting in baggage claim! She literally had to decide this moment –no, not decide, because the decision was already made. There was peace in that decision. Somewhere deep beneath all the bullshit she was about to nosedive into.

The timing was so bad. It was so bad! And she’d done this to herself by dragging her feet and not wanting to look at the truth. Even if things with Jungkook crashed in flames, even if he’d changed his mind, she wasn’t willing to lie to Hoseok anymore. She wasn’t ready to settle for second in her heart yet. She understood people could do that! Make do and push through and never regret it. Who could regret a life with Hoseok?

But this didn’t feel right to her. This wasn’t what Alex wanted. 

She splashed water on her face and wrists to cool down, then drew a deep breath and walked out.

Hoseok had grown bored waiting for her and sat in an empty row of chairs at the nearest gate. He was on his phone but hung up when he saw her and jumped up.

“Great! My mom and dad are here now, they’re at the baggage carousel–”

“Hobi, we need to talk.”

“Hm? Ah,” he grinned and tried to wrap his arm around her shoulder, “Are you nervous? Don’t be, they’re going to–”

“We need to talk right now, please?”

“Uh… right now?”

She bit her lips and settled down in the chair, needing their height to be more equal. He slowly sat as well, looking confused as shit, which was awful.

“Hobi.” Shit. Shit shit shit she did not know what to say. “Um…” She wished Hoseok would just figure out what she was hinting at. He did not. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I realize this is crazy, and terrible timing, and I’m really sorry. But I can’t meet your family. I want to break up.”

“Wha?” The word didn’t even totally register. His eyes got really big, mouth opening into a circle. That made her feel so much worse, that he wasn’t just like oh I kind of saw this coming. She could see it there on his face: he had truly believed her every time she had insisted she was all in on this. She had meant it! Until she didn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Don’t cry don’t cry this isn’t your turn to cry. “I was so stupid to get on the plane but I just didn’t know how to stop. I didn’t want to hurt you and I love you, I really do.”

“Then… what… but– Alex, are you just scared? This was too soon to meet my family? It’s ok! They’ll love you–”

“No, Hobi, it’s not that. I’m sure your family is wonderful and I am so stupid that I– I’m so sorry. I really thought– it has nothing to do with you. You are wonderful, you are the perfect boyfriend and you have been amazing every minute of our relationship.” Oh my god what am I doing?! She wanted to scream at herself. How? How could she break up with this angel man whose attention she had yearned for?

“I don’t understand then. Why now? Right now? I thought everything was good–”

“It was but… and I’ve been crazy about you, please don’t think that was ever fake or insincere. But…”

He took several short breaths, nostrils flaring, and Alex knew if he started to cry she’d be done for. A boarding call started nearby and that nearly tipped her over the edge. She’d completely forgotten they were in public. Everything in the world had faded away to the man she was dumping in a fucking airport because his family was waiting outside to meet her.

“But… but Jungkook?” he guessed slowly, with a sniffle and a nod. She almost didn’t even hear it beneath the boarding noise.

And she couldn’t even fucking deny it. She expected him to start cursing her. She expected to have to listen to him trash them both, and call her a liar, and all sorts of things. She wouldn’t stop him. She deserved it. Maybe it would be nice to hear him say those things right now. 

“I wasn’t cheating on you or anything,” she said. “When I said I was all in with you, I meant it. When I chose you, I meant it. I mean, you’re amazing. You’re incredible.”

“Ok…”

She didn’t know whether to keep talking or to stop. She wanted him to tell her it was ok and that he understood. She wanted him to say she had made the right decision. Or she wanted him to say something really shitty and terrible so she could hate him. 

He just looked so sad and she felt the desperate urge to comfort him. She needed to! Her boyfriend was sad! She wanted to take his face and kiss that frown away, kiss that wrinkle between his brows. Take back whatever she did to make him sad. She was mean, she was so mean to break up with him! And right now! With his parents waiting outside to meet his terrible girlfriend!

“I’m so sorry, Hobi. I’m so sorry I’m hurting you.”

“You have to do this right now? How long– how long ago did you decide this?” he asked. “You came with me and now suddenly–”

“I wanted so badly to stay with you and I just have been lying to myself that I could forget him. I really wanted to– you’re so amazing.”

“So you came here knowing–”

“No, no, I really wanted to do this with you and be your girlfriend and–”

“Then what changed? Suddenly, on the plane? Suddenly you were sitting beside me and decided…”

She bit back the sob lodged in her throat and murmured, “I’m sorry. But it’s… it’s the truth of me now and I can’t pretend it’s not. You deserved better than this, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Hobi.” She reached for his hand but was not surprised he pulled it away. His face was so serious. It looked like he was just unhappy, bored, watching people walk quickly through the terminal to catch their flights. A loud family with lots of rolling bags went past. An old lady in a wheelchair. Hoseok’s phone rang and he just looked at it.

“I’m so sorry,” she said again, not sure what else to say. 

“Are you sure you aren’t going to regret this?” he asked with a crooked smile and the tears in his eyes broke her heart.

“No,” she admitted. “I think I may always regret it in some ways. You’re such a dreamboy, Hobi.” He gave a sad smile that she returned. A tear snuck away and she quickly flicked it away. If even he wasn’t crying right now, she couldn’t. 

“But not your dreamboy.”

“You were. And then I just…”

“Did I do something to make your feelings change or–”

“No, Hobi. You really didn’t. This is really really not your fault. And I’m so sorry I didn’t do this before getting on the plane. I’m sorry, I made this so stupid… I know your family is waiting there to meet me and– but I couldn’t meet them and then–”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I get it.” He shook his head and dabbed his eye with the back of his hand. “Shit.”

“I’m so sorry, Hobi–”

“I know. I know Alex. But hey, you um, you have to do what your heart wants, right?” She knew he didn’t mean that to hit as brutally as it did. She wished he meant it as mean as possible. She felt so awful. “What are you going to do?”

“See about getting a flight home.”

“Just turn right around? You don’t want to, um…” He laughed, realizing he had nothing to suggest. She laughed too. They were on the verge of tears, both of them, and she thought how awful this felt, how wrong it felt to end a perfectly good relationship with a perfectly good guy. Why was she doing this? On the off chance Jungkook still wanted to be with her? Even though there were no guarantees he did, or that it would work, or that they would be compatible in a romantic way. Even though there was a perfectly wonderful man right here, offering kindly after she’d just dumped him,

“Ok, let’s go see about your flight.”

“No, you’re not going back to?”

“No, I’ll stay with my family. Maybe… um, I need to call them–”

“No, just go to them,” she insisted. “I’ll get my own flight.”

“And just leave you here in the airport? No way–”

“Yes way,” she said. “I appreciate that you are the kindest soul and of course you’d still want to take care of me after I did this and failed you but–”

“You didn’t fail me, Alex. You were a really good girlfriend. I really loved you.”

“Ok don’t say that,” she pleaded, laughing at her own tears baaaarely hanging on to her waterline. “Oh god, Hobi, I’m so fucking sorry.” She covered her mouth and he put a hand on her shoulder and she laughed, “You don’t need to comfort me!”

“Ah, I’m just… I wish this wasn’t happening.”

She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say anything else or she was definitely going to start sobbing. She hated this. 

Still, she tried, taking his hand, “I probably am going to regret this and miss you for the rest of my life and you’re allowed to tell me ‘I told you so.’”

“I’ll never say that.”

“Even though you’re thinking it right now.”

“Maybe,” he laughed again, and brushed at his eyes. “Ah, Alex. I really thought…”

“I did too…”

He nodded and stood up, then sat back down, “Ok, but I’ll help you get your flight–”

“No, Hobi. Please just go and be with your family and tell them I said they have the most wonderful son.”

“I can’t just leave you.”

“Yes, you can. I’m a grown up and I can handle the consequences of my own bullshit. I’ll be ok. I think I’ll go cry in the bathroom for a little bit and then take care of it so just… I’m so sorry, Hobi. You are a dream come true and I know you are going to get snatched up so fast my head will spin.”

“You’re a tough act to follow.”

She wished that was true but didn’t think so. Instead she stood to encourage him to do so, but when he pulled her into a hug, it was hard not to break down.

“Text me that you have your flight, ok? That you get home ok. Promise?”

“Fine, fine, I promise. Now go! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

He nodded, and turned away, nostrils flaring. She wondered if he would make it to his parents without crying, or if he had the sort of relationship with them where he would cry on their shoulders, or if he’d pretend to be ok in front of his family. 

Alex fled back to the bathroom. She had to wait to go get her bag from baggage claim and then turn around to ticketing until she knew Hobi and his family were gone anyway. Gone without her, off to celebrate without her lying, betraying ass in the middle of them. 

This felt wrong again. It felt wrong to hurt a perfectly wonderful man whom she adored. Why had she done this?! And he’d been such a gentleman about it! Of course he had, he was amazing! This had to be the wrong choice because if it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so bad? 

She sat on the edge of the toilet and quietly cried. She had hoped to feel instant relief, but she just kept thinking of Hoseok’s back walking away. Maybe she was only ever going to make the wrong decisions. Maybe she was going to regret this every bit as much as she had mourned the loss of Jungkook. Maybe she was the stupidest person to ever walk the earth! Hoseok probably hated her now and she respected him so much, that was devastating. 

But she was right, right? She couldn’t be with Hoseok and meet his family and pretend like this was her future when driving away from Jungkook raking leaves, all she had felt was deep and solid certainty in her heart: I belong there with him and I will never be truly happy without him.

Namjoon had caught him crying. He was pretty sure that was why a Friendsgiving suddenly materialized where no Friendsgiving had existed before. Suddenly there was a group text and dates were debated and Namjoon was offering up their place so Jungkook couldn’t even get out of it. One minute Namjoon found Jungkook crying a little too hard at My Best Friend’s Wedding and exactly one day later Jungkook was wedged into the middle of the couch with twenty people cavorting around, offering him wine or bruschetta –or something a little stronger, if he felt like sitting in the backyard with Yoongi and Ash to smoke it. He didn’t.

He wanted to welcome anything that could help him ease into chill right now but worried it would just make him cranky and antisocial. He had taken for granted that he and Alex never hosted things like this, but living with Namjoon taught him just how much they had inconvenienced him every time they took over his place to party. At least now he would be around to help clean up tomorrow, which might take a long time, because Jimin had dropped and shattered a bottle of red wine the second he walked into the kitchen and that was just the beginning of the night.

Jungkook had always been so good at parties before. But he’d always had Alex to retreat to when he wanted a break. At least this party wasn’t as big and rowdy as they used to be, and it was all people he knew. He didn’t feel like performing. The photo he posted to his instagram in the beginning of the party showed him in a blue cableknit sweater with his arms around Taehyung and Namjoon, eight people crammed into the frame, all smiling and happy. 

The absence of Alex was like a hole in his chest.

He felt it like the twinge of a phantom limb every time he started to enjoy himself too much. His friends were funny, it was impossible to completely block out the laugh when Jimin and Taehyung started sword fighting with garlic sticks (which Taehyung had brought but not bothered to even thaw beforehand), or when Sabina teased Namjoon about the stacks of books he had everywhere (“are they decoration? Are these new? These aren’t Jungkook’s. Do you actually read them or just collect them??), or when In’am, after three glasses of wine and all the wedding stress, started doing impersonations of everyone that were uncanny. A bird flew into the house at one point –like a whole ass bird from outside, where Yoongi and his fiance had gone with Ash to smoke– and the chaos that ensued had Jungkook laughing so hard he nearly pissed his pants. He and Taehyung and Sabina managed to chase it back out using pillowcases as Yoongi shouted directions at them and Namjoon acted like a goalie trying to protect the statues he had on shelves in the dining room. 

Alex should be here enjoying everything. Hoseok, much as Jungkook hated to admit it, fit in well too. And since Alex was so over Yoongi these days, it wouldn’t be awkward that Jimin had invited him and Raquel. The greater friend group was healing and growing. Minxi couldn’t make it but Jungkook hoped she’d feel comfortable bringing May one of these days, even if he suspected Alex would have a hard time adjusting to her sister being around more. Anita made it and was busy asking Rebekah all kinds of nosy questions about the food she’d brought for herself, as if she’d never heard of kosher food restrictions before. Obviously Jungkook did because he’d looked them up before so he wouldn’t look like an idiot. Ash and Gwen and Devi and Robert, a whole roster of friends connected to the core of them –to Jungkook and Taehyung and Jimin and Namjoon and Alex. Except Alex wasn’t here. Even fucking Seychelle was here! And the sheer relief Jungkook felt to see she’d been telling the truth that she and Namjoon were friendly but not familiar anymore gave him a few years of his life back. When he’d nudged Anita and asked if she was going to make a move, Anita had hissed at him shut up and don’t fuck this up for me!

He flitted between the groups. Without Alex as an anchor or getting laid as a lure, it was easy to feel lost. He drank a little too quickly in the beginning too; it left him feeling like a silly little kid at a grown up’s party just poking his head in, trying to understand what everyone was talking about. But the buzz wore off and he didn’t replace it and the party came into crisper detail around him.

“Jungkook and I found these at a garage sale,” Namjoon explained to Yoongi, showing him the vinyl collection.

“Hey how much longer does this turkey need to reheat, Lori?”

“Is someone at the door? Oh, it’s Tony!” Pizza, Jungkook muttered under his breath, even though he’d misheard and it was actually Stone, who he hadn’t seen in months.

“Should we set the table? I brought more dishes.”

“So then I told them if they’re just going to do a round of layoffs, put me on the list! I’ll take the severance and get out, I fucking hate it there.”

“Taehyung was such a gentleman and my mother was so pleasant to meet him but afterwards she told me ‘I think he dresses too nice for you, you need to look nicer than your husband!’ Were you wondering why I left home?”

“No! Mothers can be so… You dress well! That’s unhinged to say.”

 “I got an estimate but my dental doesn’t cover, so it’ll be like $1700 out of pocket! That’s insane. They don’t hurt yet so I think I’m going to wait.”

“Oh my god you really need to not wait. Go to the dental school, it’s a little cheaper there.”

Jungkook felt like the conversations rocked him steadily; was he imagining it, or did people keep touching his arm and shoulder as he passed. To comfort him? Had he suddenly gotten so pathetic? He wanted to believe everyone was just like that, and he’d been too busy in the past ricocheting around, drunk and playful and looking for someone to go home with, to slow down and enjoy it. Until sometimes towards the end of the night, when he’d flop around Alex and whine for her to take him home.

“Food’s ready!”

The cheer went up and Jungkook happily jostled in between Jimin and Taehyung as they scrambled around the kitchen counters to pile up their plates with the assortment of foods everyone had brought. Since he’d bailed on the Song’s Thanksgiving dinner, the food tasted extra good, even the ones that were just reheated from other celebrations. 

“We need to get more chairs,” he told Namjoon as they all wedged themselves in around the dining room table and overflow into the living room and kitchen, perching wherever there was an available space to rest a plate. 

“We aren’t usually all sitting down to eat at the same time,” Sabina pointed out. “It won’t happen a lot.”

Namjoon considered this though and argued, “Everyone seems calmer when I have chairs to put your asses in. Maybe our other parties would be tamer if I have a collection of chairs I can drag in from the garage.”

“Do you want them tamer?” Taehyung challenged, leaning on the table.

“Yes,” Namjoon answered easily.

“Ooh ooh should we go around the table and say what we’re thankful for–”

“Noooo,” the suggestion was met with groans and complaints so the idea was dropped. Jungkook would have been embarrassed to answer anyway. I’m thankful Namjoon let me move in with him. I’m thankful I have so many friends who can get together for something like this. 

“Some of you folks are really good cooks,” Raquel, Yoongi’s fiance, mused, which led to a dissection of every dish, who made it, what was store bought. 

“The funny thing I’m thinking is, what if Alex is why we’re so loud? She’s the one who’s not here–”

“No no don’t put that on her, there’s no way she’s the instigator.”

“She’s totally an instigator,” Jimin laughed. “And she’s loud. And–” He broke off and Jungkook lifted his beer to his mouth, afraid for confirmation that this party had really come together because he was such a sad sack.

“I think it’s fair to blame her,” Jungkook insisted loudly. “For too long her true nature has been hidden from all of you. Her greatest talent is she gets everyone around her to be loud and they take the blame while she skitters away.”

“Skitters!”

Jungkook could feel the tension from a few of them –but only a few of them. The rest seemed to take him joking about Alex at face value, same as it had always been. It made him glad if actually his failure and rejection were not truly common knowledge. He’d try not to get so drunk he ruined that.

He would have liked to make more jokes. Talking about her recreated a little of the anchor he was missing without her, but conversation blasted past him and he didn’t get the chance. 

He kept looking for it though. When eating slowed, he was one of the first to leave the table to set up video games in the living room. That felt like it brought a little of her spirit too; she’d be right there with him after a big meal, shoving him to try and throw him off his game if he pulled ahead of her. 

Damnit, he really needed to stop thinking about her. It was pathetic at this point. Creepy. Why did he feel so much worse about it this week than he had before? He thought the rejection was supposed to get better over time but it seemed to be getting worse and he didn’t get it. 

He didn’t feel like playing video games anymore. No one here could beat him anyways, though Taehyung came close. He left others to it and went in search of another group to bunker down with and found Namjoon and Yoongi back at the record player.       

“What’s up, buddy, how you doing?” Namjoon asked him when he drew close.

“Damn, am I that tragic?” he laughed, because even the way Namjoon held his hand out to beckon him closer seemed sad.

“Huh?” At least he seemed genuinely confused, face pinched in confusion before he just gestured, “Come on, dig through, what should we put on next?”

“Hey, Namjoon? Where is the, uh, vacuum cleaner?” Jimin asked, leaning into the doorway. They hadn’t heard anything spill or fall, but could see through to the kitchen where In’am and Raquel both looked nervously down on something while Anita was unwinding paper towels.

“What now…” Namjoon grumbled and pushed up to go see what it was. Jungkook craned his neck to see if he ought to go help, but Namjoon hadn’t asked him to, so he stayed put. He’d been relieved to learn that Namjoon wasn’t actually anal about cleaning after all except during a party, so he suspected Namjoon just got nervous people were going to ruin or break something important, which he could understand. Or expensive. Houses were expensive! So he got it. Especially now that he lived here and would need to help fix whatever it was.

“Did you pick this one out?” Yoongi asked, showing an album –that in fact Jungkook had picked out: Florence and the Machine. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Figures,” Yoongi laughed. 

“What does that mean? Real men know she’s great.”

“Yeah, I know. Great songwriting,” Yoongi agreed. “Just not what Namjoon has been in to lately.” Jungkook wondered suddenly if Yoongi knew Alex liked them. Was that why he’d asked about that album? It made him think of Alex.

“Hey, did you just stop hanging out with most of us because of breaking up with Alex?” Jungkook asked because apparently his filter wasn’t working today.

“Uh. Yeah, in the beginning. Who wants to hang out with the girl who dumped them and her friends? But I had other friends anyway so it wasn’t a big deal. I still stayed tight with Jimin and Namjoon and it’s no hard feelings now.”

“I know but you never came to the guy stuff she wouldn’t have been at. You could have gone to shows or whatever with us even if– Wait, what did you say?” Jungkook belatedly caught. The girl who dumped them…

But Yoongi was shaking his head, “Yeah well I didn’t want to be around you either.”

“Uh…” The inside of Jungkook’s brain ground to a halt. He made a face that apparently amused Yoongi.

“Yeah, it was weird watching nothing happen from a distance.”

“Wait, uh…” Too many questions. 

“Yeah?”

“She dumped you?!” The inside of Jungkook’s mind was blindingly bright right now at this revelation.

Yoongi grinned, “I know, I’m a catch. Raquel thinks so at least.”

“No but I thought– she was so upset. I thought you dumped her.”

“Did she say that? Because that is definitely not what happened.”

“Uh… I don’t remember… but I thought– she definitely made it seem like that. She definitely didn’t tell me she’s the one who ended it. So then why was she always so cagey? When we saw you at Jimin’s engagement party– before that she…” He was trying to connect the dots in his head but it wasn’t working yet. “And what do you mean you didn’t want to be around me? I mean, yeah, I thought you dumped her so I probably would have been a shit–”

“Yeah you were a shit to me,” Yoongi snickered. “Makes more sense now to hear you thought I dumped her. At the time it was like what the fuck, why are you being shitty to me? It should be the other way!”

“Why would it be the other way?!”

“Yeah cause you’re the guy she dumped me for? And then she didn’t even start dating you,” Yoongi snorted and shook his head, looking like this was something he had long ago made peace with but still felt a shadow of annoyance about.

But he’d just flipped the table on Jungkook. How could this be true? Had Alex said the words ‘Yoongi dumped me’ or had he gotten it all wrong? He couldn’t remember! But she’d acted so upset… like when you got dumped, not when you did the dumping.

“That’s not true,” he assured Yoongi. “She didn’t dump you for–”

Yoongi clearly thought this was funny and mused, “Damn, you guys really never– Jimin and Namjoon would tell me about it but it’s been amusing to see. Kinda sad I guess. I mean I am happy with Raquel and in the long run it was better, I met a great woman, so I say this without any malice: you’re both kinda stupid, right?”

“We were just friends. And sure now it’s all gone to shit but…we were definitely only friends then. If she dumped you, it didn’t have anything to do with me.”

“She told me ‘I’m really sorry you are great but I am in love with someone else.’ So…” Yoongi gave him a look, then laughed and went back to trading the vinyl on the record player.

“What? No. She… she meant someone else? She wasn’t in love with anyone. Probably she was just lying to try and make it easier. She was crazy about you. And really nervous so probably she just said that because she was too chickenshit to break up with you… but why would she break up with you?”

Yoongi snorted through his nose and suggested, “When women tell me something, I tend to believe them, especially when I kind of already knew so I wasn’t really surprised.”

“I don’t think it was true though. I think she was just making it up and now she’s happy with her new boyfriend and… ah,” he sighed, no point in skirting around it. “I confessed to her but she stayed with her boyfriend. So you see? She didn’t love me.”

“Ah. Well, now you know, if she dumps him it’ll be the second time she dumped a guy for you.”

Jungkook was dumbfounded. Yoongi just seemed so sure about this and Jungkook couldn’t honestly remember if Alex had ever said Yoongi dumped her. But she’d been so upset! But…

Ugh, he just wanted to ask Alex. Not that it mattered but… but if she’d dumped her boyfriend for him… No, that couldn’t be right! She never said anything to Jungkook about being in love with him –always the opposite, she was always offended when people suggested it! And he just kept fucking whoever he liked– but he would have stopped if she had given him any indication she was into him! She hadn’t! He couldn’t read her mind! If she had wanted to start something with him, if she had just said that, it would have changed everything. Maybe he didn’t realize until a few months ago how much he loved her but if at any point Alex had seemed into him, he would have embraced that way earlier rather than just boxing it up as a not gonna happen and shoving it to the back of the closet.                                                                              

Jungkook sat there as the new album played and just sank into the shock that once again, he may have been so wrong. He thought he knew everything there was to know about Alex! And now, when he felt most separate from her, he realized he may never have known her as completely as he had thought. He’d set her apart as not a conquest, not an option, and in doing so, made up his own truths about a whole part of her life. 

And maybe really, really hurt her in the process.

Yoongi hadn’t hurt her. Hoseok wasn’t hurting her. Had he done it? Could it be true? Why hadn’t they dated if she broke up with Yoongi for him… had she said something he missed? She must have thought there was hope if she’d dumped her boyfriend! No, it made way more sense that she just did the Alex thing of lying when put on the spot. She’d told him her dog died when she and Yoongi broke up, after all, so there had definitely been a lot of lies flying around at that point.

But which was the lie: had she loved him or not?

He just wanted to ask her about it and finally hear her truth about everything. But he couldn’t. She was off meeting her boyfriend’s family. What was he going to say about any of it now anyway? Sorry I didn’t notice you were in love with me. But she’d said she wasn’t so. Many. times! Was it really so wrong he’d believed her?! He’d been so nice comforting her after Yoongi dumped her, except apparently he was comforting her after she dumped her boyfriend? And never once while she was falling asleep on his chest watching a movie had she said–

That was just a normal friend thing though. Right? Snuggling didn’t mean you were in love. Jungkook would gladly snuggle any of his friends. Alex just happened to be snugglier than the rest. The tits helped.

Damn, he wished Alex was here to help him make sense of things. He wished Alex was here because she’d enjoy this low-key Thanksgiving party. He wished Alex was here because life was just better with her close. He wished Alex was here and if she was, he’d make sure to listen better this time, even to the things she didn’t say. 

He sighed deeply and, to vent his feelings, tried to joke, “Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway. Too late. You should have told me, picked a fight or something.”

“Is it too late?”

“Yeah, I tried.”

“Maybe you just need to suffer for a little bit,” Yoongi suggested. “She clearly thought it was too late if she got a new boyfriend and then you came around, huh? I don’t know. Not my concern anymore but that’s funny she didn’t even tell you she dumped me. I really resented you, you know! Alex was a sweet girlfriend.”

“She’s a sweet girl,” Jungkook said, and resisted appending all the other things he would typically call her. Turtle, slug bug, shrimpy, skrunkle baby, Pop Tart, bed bug, gremlin, Snarflepuss when she was grumpy. Those were too intimate to be shared now. 

“Well. I wish you luck. What do you think about this one? Namjoon said you’ve got good music taste, let’s see what else we have in common.”

Alex’s legs ached. She’d collapsed on the bed backwards about twenty minutes ago and not yet found the motivation to move again. The mattress was cheap and the comforter was scratchy as shit. She kept throwing it on the ground after too many horror stories about how they never got washed but housekeeping kept putting it back on. She had no interest in warring with housekeeping, though it was a nice personal touch to her stay, evidence of life when otherwise this was the loneliest four days of her life.

But also not quite the worst! Well, right up there. But in some ways not so bad. Maybe not as bad as she deserved…

Her phone lit up and it happened to be within reach so she grabbed it to look.

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: you are breaking mama and baba’s hearts

[Alex meimei]: fuck off

She didn’t know what her sister had meant by that but was not in the mood for any more guilt piled onto her chest. 

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: wow

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: what’s up with you? Hobi’s family realize what a creature you are too fast?

Alex didn’t answer. She didn’t feel like joking with her sister right now. She needed to decide whether she was going to take a bath in the probably gross hotel tub (who was she kidding, she would) to see if that would help her shins. Was it possible to walk so much you broke your shins? She wanted a foot massage.

Hobi would have given her a foot massage.

Frowny face.

Her phone lit up again.

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: nothing?

[Jiejie☠️🗡️]: hey everything ok for real?

It was unlike May to be “for real” in text and now Alex wondered what was going on that had made her sister text in the first place.

She didn’t have to wait long because her phone lit up with an actual call. And while she didn’t have to or want to answer it, she still did.

“Yeah what?” she grumbled, realizing she sounded way grumpier than she actually felt.

“What’s going on with you? How’s it going?”

“Fine. Why are you calling me? Nothing happened at home did it?”

“No. Thanksgiving happened, I don’t know. Mama and Baba worked their asses off and it was nice, I guess.”

“Hm,” Alex said, staring at the ceiling. “Did you bring your boyfriend home?”

“No.”

“Mama was hoping you would so maybe you’re the one who broke their hearts, not me.”

“You broke their hearts because you aren’t sending pictures,” May countered. “They think you’ve replaced them.”

“Well I haven’t.”

The call went silent for a minute and Alex wondered again why she had answered. She was desperate for contact, that was it. 

“Hey so… you can say it’s stupid but I just got a big sister gut feeling something was up. Are you really ok? There’s nothing going on?”

Alex froze. The shock of this kindness and concern from May was almost as stunning as how deeply Alex felt it in her heart.

“Oh.”

“Oh? What does that mean?” May asked.

“I just…” She sat up and looked out the window, but it was just lights dotting dark buildings and her own room reflected back to her. The room was spartan but the cheapest she could find that still gave her a private bath. “No,” she admitted. “Things haven’t been ok. I did something really stupid.”

“Uh oh,” May said but did not sound surprised, Alex thought. 

“Nevermind–”

“No, just tell me. What did you do?”

“You can keep a secret?”

“Yeah.”

Alex didn’t know why she was telling May this. She and May had an antagonistic relationship at best. They didn’t share secrets. Once they had been closer, and they weren’t exactly enemies now, but May was kind of a bully so Alex bullied her back, and they didn’t really do the heart to hearts or anything. So what made her do it now?

“I’m actually in a hotel,” she said.

“Oh shit, what did you–”

“I broke up with Hobi.”

Dead silence on the line.

Then, “Uh… why? What? When? But…”

“I know…” Alex sighed deeply. 

“What did he do?” May’s voice sounded actually a little fierce.

“Nothing,” Alex admitted. “Absolutely nothing. Continued to be the wonderful guy he has always been. And I dumped him in the airport as soon as we landed while his parents were waiting to get us in baggage claim. Isn’t that fucked up?”

“This is… I’m so confused…. Unless…”

“I was going to just fly home– isn’t that so stupid? Like I flew all the way here and then broke up with him. But changing my flight was going to be crazy expensive so I got a cheap hotel room and I’ve just been wandering San Francisco–”

“Oh my god!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s… is that… are you having fun?”

“A little bit,” Alex laughed. “It’s a cool city! I saw the bridge and I went on a ferry tour and today I went to the zoo just by myself. I spent Thanksgiving Day in Chinatown and it was pretty cool. I’m so fucking tired though, I’ve never walked this much in my life.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So you just… dumped him.”

Alex still felt the twinge of it in her chest, “Yeah.”

“How’s that feeling?”

“Really stupid,” Alex laughed. “Who does that? Who dumps someone like Hobi? Only a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you.”

“May!”

May started laughing, “Fuck, I can’t believe this. You really flew all the way there and then what, he chewed too loudly on the plane or something? You were like no I can’t stand this shit a moment longer–”

“No!”

“I can’t even make it through this week for this guy to save face in front of his family–”

“I would have been just lying to everyone,” Alex argued. 

“You are fucking insane,” May cackled. “You couldn’t figure that out before you got on the fucking plane?! What the fuck is it with you two?”

“Nothing anymore, we broke up.”

“Not you and Hobi, you and fucking Jungkook.”

“What– what does he have to do with anything?”

May’s noise grumble made Alex feel uncomfortably exposed.

“Isn’t he why you dumped Hobi? God I can’t believe that is a true sentence I just said–”

“He’s– no, I– what are you talking about? What do you know about anything?”

“I know so much. Way more than you.”

Alex’s stomach flipped. What did that mean?! But she hated her sister lording things over her; she didn’t want to beg for information.

“I’m not in the mood for your bullshit,” Alex sighed. “So whatever, have fun, I’m going to go soak–”

“I know you moved out because he told you he loved you,” May rushed out.

“Yeah well apparently he’s been blabbing that around.”

“So? Is that why you dumped this perfect man?”

“I didn’t say that. I just– the relationship had run its course.”

“Have you talked to Jungkook?”

“No, of course not. Why would I?”

“Have you talked to anyone? Or have you just been sulking alone in a hotel room–”

“I’m not sulking! I told you all the things I’ve been doing! Actually this is the least sulking I’ve ever done about anything! I deserved to just hole up in the hotel room and binge junk food and watch TV but I didn’t do that, I went out and tried to enjoy the city I’m spending like a thousand dollars– oh god this trip is so expensive,” Alex groaned. “Over a thousand dollars to be alone for Thanksgiving.”

“So you dumped Hobi for Jungkook but you didn’t immediately call him–”

“I didn’t say I dumped him for Jungkook!” Alex cried.

“Ok ok. Are you going to call him though? Can I tell him? He’s going to freak out–”

“No,” Alex said bluntly. “Don’t tell him any of my business. Don’t talk to any of my friends or tell mom and dad. Just…  I’m just still trying to figure it out myself.”

The silence that followed lasted long enough Alex figured May had gotten bored that she wouldn’t rise to her taunts. But eventually May said instead,

“Fine. You don’t have to tell me anything and I won’t tell anyone either.”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m just saying… he’s really going through it. So if you did break up with Hobi to date Jungkook, I would really appreciate it as your sister if I could be there to see his face when you tell him–”

“Stop stop!” Alex cried. Because it was too much for her heart. She had intentionally not gone right to a hotel to call Jungkook. She didn’t want to talk to him at all right now. Because she actually wasn’t sure she was ready to just go jump right into Jungkook’s arms –as romantic and silly and giddy and terrifying as that sounded. 

Would he be happy? Would he be really happy if she called Jungkook and told him she wanted to see him as soon as she landed, that she’d broken up with Hobi, that she wanted to be with him? The idea he would be happy about that felt like a fever dream. Impossible. What if he was upset she’d called his bluff? What if he’d already moved on? What if they tried and her fears that this was the wrong path came true? What if despite their intentions they couldn’t get past the hurdle of friendship and he really couldn’t feel romantic or sexual towards her–

“Apparently he was moping around so hard at home that your friends threw a–”

“I don’t want to know!”

“Ok… geez.”

“How do you even know what’s going on with my friends? Bug off!”

May sighed, “Alex I’m just trying to help you.”

“Since when?”

“Since I’m your older sister and it brings me great joy to–”

“Thwart me.”

“No no, only sometimes.”

“All the time.”

“Believe it or not, I do actually want you to be happy,” May insisted. “And, personally, I like Jungkook as a brother in law better than Hoseok.”

“What! Why– why would you say that? Don’t say that…”

“You were only ever trailing after Hoseok. Jungkook is right down in the trashcan with you. I think that’s sweet.”

Alex sighed noisily.

“I think you know I’m right.”

“I wasn’t choosing between two guys,” Alex corrected. “I didn’t dump Hobi for Jungkook. I just couldn’t meet his family and stay in a relationship with someone when I wasn’t all in anymore. That’s not fair.”

“Yoongi all over.”

“Shut up,” Alex scowled. Damn did she regret ever telling her sister about that. The teasing had gone too far and she’d vowed never to tell May anything ever again and yet here she was telling her things. “I don’t… I don’t even know if I trust the things Jungkook said. It just seems too sudden. So I broke up with Hoseok for me and I’m here in San Francisco enjoying some me time–”

“Sudden? You think Jungkook’s feelings are sudden? God, you two are perfect for each other, you’re both so stupid.”

“May! You’re such a bitch!”

“Yeah better than being so fucking stupid! Do you have any idea how nauseating it was watching him crumble to bits when you got a boyfriend? He’s clearly been in love with you for years without doing anything about it and you were in love with him for years too, obviously.”

“Why obviously?! Everyone just always assumes I’m in love with him just because he’s hot–”

“No, because you two are always touching and teasing each other and ganging up on me. You act like a little stupid love unit– and if you say you were just friends I’m going to reach through the phone and strangle you. Nothing you guys did was what normal friends do. That’s just not what friends are like, Alex. Like, it’s not normal. It’s been disgusting to watch–”

“You’re exaggerating. He wasn’t in any way in love with me until I suddenly had a boyfriend–”

“Alex, he’s stupid.”

“Don’t be mean. He’s not.”

“I’m sorry but you love a stupid man and you have to accept the consequences of that, like him not realizing his own feelings until too late.”

“Uh huh. And all the women he fucked while he was supposedly heartbroken–”

“You mean since he had his epiphany? None. At least I don’t think so–”

“Rebekah told me about Anita. I guess he’s, like, dating or–”

“Oh my god. Please. Please be the smarter one,” May begged. “He’s not dating Anita.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know. Nothing else. But hey if you don’t want him or you want time to yourself– do that too, that’s ok. You don’t have to rush into anything.” The shift in her tone was suspicious; she couldn’t see Alex’s narrowed eyes but maybe she felt it through the line. “I don’t mean to sound like I’m pushing you to run to Jungkook.”

“I think I just need some time.” Alex admitted. “I mean…” She trailed off in thought and for once May didn’t stomp into the silence. “It sucks. Breaking up with Hobi sucks. It hurts even though I’m feeling more like it was the right choice. Maybe. But when I get home and we have to like trade stuff back and tell people at work and stuff– I think it’s going to hurt all over again. I have to face him again. Maybe I ruined his Thanksgiving. Maybe he’ll hate me… it just sucks. I broke up with Hobi because it’s not fair to be with one person when I’m so… anchored to another one. But that’s true the other way too. It doesn’t feel real yet. I don’t want to call Jungkook and say something stupid, do something too stupid and fast and still be all wrapped up in this.”

“I get it,” May said. Gently. Gently. Who was this on the phone and could they permanently body-snatch May? Did she have to get her real sister back?

“If… if I do talk to Jungkook and decide to um… see if he still wants to try that… I can’t even say it,” Alex laughed at herself. “I just feel like it needs to be new and fresh and not messy with this. So I think I’m just going to take some time right now and see… see what feels right to do…”

A beat of silence was followed by May, “That’s really mature, Alex. I’m surprised.” She didn’t even say it meanly, even if the words were a little mean.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I mean it. You’ve grown up a lot. And for what it’s worth, I think Jungkook has too. I think you’re smart to want to be clean and clear. And hey, no matter what happens, whether you stay on your own or try with Jungkook or that doesn’t work out or whatever…”

“...Yes?” Alex prodded. “Is this where you’re going to say something really nice and sisterly and unlike you?”

“You’ll always be an idiot to me anyway, so don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, thanks so much May,” she laughed but that felt kinda good too. She felt love in what her sister said. “I guess your boyfriend isn’t an idiot, huh?”

May got really stuffy as she insisted, “Oh, I’m dating the smartest person you can possibly think of. No competition. Don’t worry–”

“Can’t be too smart if he’s dating you.”

“I am a great girlfriend!”

“Are you though?”

“Yeah. I can give you some pointers–”

“UH, did you miss where I had two guys fighting over me?”

“Allegedly,” May quickly corrected. “You don’t believe Jungkook, you said.”

“I’ll believe him if it means holding it over your head.”

“Whatever, two boys? You can keep ‘em.”

“Yeah? You sure you aren’t a little in love with Jungkook yourself? You seemed awful quick to push me towards him–”

“I just think he’s a good guy,” May interrupted. “Never tell him I said that. And I think you’re ok too. And also Edgar and I made a bet years ago–”

“What?!?”

“Yeah our brother is an idiot too but just to be clear, I get $500 if you and Jungkook start dating so I do have an ulterior motive here.”

“May,” Alex gasped. “You… you were willing to put odds in my favor that Jungkook would date me?”

“Jungkook didn’t make me hesitate, it was always obvious you’re the only love in his eyes. I figured you were the one who’d have to decide. And you’re proving me right! I know all things and feel really good about myself now.” Everything May was saying was like pouring sugar and honey down her throat. She shivered at the intoxication of it. It couldn’t be true but it felt so scandalous to imagine.

Alex sighed, “Well glad one of us does, I don’t know shit.”

“Hey.” Alex braced herself for whatever was coming next. “When you get home, let’s spend some time together. Maybe I’ll tell you some secrets too.”

“Ooooooh? Like what?”

“You’ve gotta come home to find out.”

“You think I’m just going to stay here? I can’t afford this place! We can hang out but you’ve gotta pay for me, San Francisco is expensive as shit.”

“Yeah whatever we’ll see. Just enjoy the rest of your solo trip. Get a massage or something.”

“I fly home tomorrow.”

“Fine, don’t get a massage! Just take care of yourself.”

“Thanks May. Oddly nice of you.”

“I know, I’m feeling generous. Now I gotta go, bye.” She promptly hung up. But Alex was left with a warm and fuzzy feeling that things were going to turn out all right. Her sister’s unusual kindness meant a lot to hear. Learning that May thought Jungkook was the one who would fall for her first, that meant a lot to her.

Alex stretched out on the bed and closed her eyes –just for a minute!-- and decided she was doing the right thing. She could take her time. She didn’t have to decide anything now. When she got home, she’d deal with the fallout of her breakup, and decide whether she wanted to jump right in with Jungkook or ease back into friendship or what. She’d figure it out. She’d survived so many painful parts by now, surely the next part could be easier?

For right now, it was kind of cool to be a girl on an adventure by herself. She pushed up from the bed and grabbed her shoes and decided to go out just for a little bit longer and enjoy herself. Maybe she was in the eye of the hurricane right now, but at least she was her own best company.

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#jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook x oc #jungkook smut #jungkook f2l #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bangtan smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfiction #fuckboy au #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook series #jungkook/reader #jungkook/oc #jungkook #tellmewhatchanged #tell me what changed #tmwc #fuckboy jungkook #jeon jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic

[highdio]

WAIT! did you see my submission that asked about the whole "show me your fear/how will i rule" flashback? i wanted to ask a lot what you thought. can you dig it up? i remember asking you if it gave nuance to what Dio thinks about his egotism. Seeing himself as so powerful, he's the "only" worthy being who could lead humanity. seeing it as a obligation of some sort. please i am really curious about your view.

I don't think I ever got your earlier ask so it’s good you followed up. Re: the "show me your fear" sequence in CDDH, if I'm being honest it made me cringe a little when I read it, like it came across as tryhard.

The best way for me to explain this is by comparing it to the anime scene where Enya says a lot of the same stuff:

Here Enya does the talking, like she's Dio's hypeman. Dio? He doesn't say anything, and honestly it's kind of funny: she's there going on and on about the Joy of Fear while Dio's sort of just there, chilling in his bedroom with a bunch of naked women.

imo having someone else talk about fear while Dio barely acknowledges that we're doing a scene here is more in-character than the battle monolog in CDDH that you're asking about. That's the thing about how Araki writes Dio, and I think this gets lost sometimes: Dio doesn't usually go out of his way to impress you. An obvious early example is when young Dio's introduced in that boxing match but he's off to the side on the hill, nowhere near the ring, leisurely lacing his gloves. There's a lot of scenes like this, where Dio assumes this passive, unhurried posture (from not leaving Egypt to go after Jotaro, to turning his back to Hol, sitting down and reading a book during the 'Shooting Dio?!' chapter). He doesn't have to go out of his way to do much, instead people get drawn toward him. Once you notice this, it becomes a blueprint in terms of how Araki writes him.

I've have the same criticism with the scene earlier in CDDH where Kadono has Dio boastfully reveal to Kakyoin that he orchestrated Kakyoin's family's trip to Egypt (??).

Anytime he's got Dio taking that pro-active a role I think, no, Dio's too lazy for that. While it's all true that Dio's ambitious and plans for contingencies, he's just not going to go out of his way to lash out or attack. He just sort of waits. Araki says it this way:

“DIO is more of the reactionary type, so [if he'd beaten Jotaro and a new opponent appeared] he probably would have continued to take root in Egypt and wait for his prey to come to him.”

Going back to the CDDH "fear" scene you asked about, while the gist of what he's saying is consistent with Dio's character - he's always testing people's fears, limits and motivations - it still comes across as if it's written too in-your-face, like he's saying a bunch of stuff he doesn't need to say. Even the stylistic choice of putting Dio's dialog in speech bubbles bounded by thick, jagged black borders feels tryhard.

Please remember that Dio is a guy who got his minion to cut off his own head by saying very few words interspersed with a ton of ellipses.

This is what I mean about Dio being softer in approach/more passive in canon than in CDDH and in fanon. It's charisma that draws you in rather than him over-acting.

The other part of your ask about Dio seeing himself as the 'only being worthy of leading humanity' as an obligation also seems a little off. I don't think Dio feels obliged to humanity at all, only because Dio sees himself as a top-of-the-food-chain being and humans as prey. fwiw I still think Dio's primary driver is more along the lines of a top-level athlete in the sense that at some point he's competing with himself to 'transcend' his current peak performance level; ruling over humanity doesn't factor into this as much. ofc you could probably get away with headcanoning him as more interested in ruling mankind, but imo he'd do that for the ego-trip or as some sort of sociological experiment rather than through any perceived indebtedness.

#Anonymous #replies tag #jjba #dio talk #CDDH spoilers #also don't hate me here but I don't know that making an egotist character say he's got an obligation to rule over others adds complexity #more like it affirms the egotism trait #imo #long post

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Devil May Care: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Summary: Castiel is missing after you told him to go to the Bunker after the angels fell. However, that is put on hold when Abaddon calls with two hostages that you now need to save.

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

x

You walk onto the bus and kneel next to the first dead guy you see. You notice there is a bullet wound on his chest, and before you think that this is what killed him, you pull back his shirt to get a better look at it.

"Sam, check this out," you say and show him the wound. "This wound is a decade old, easily. Check that body out too."

Sam walks over to the next body and examines it to find the same kind of wound, something that happened to the victim over ten or so years ago. Dean finally walks onto the bus, and you stand to greet him.

"Anything?"

"This guy was shot in the heart but the wound is over a decade old. Every one of these bodies has a fatal wound or three, but they're all old."

"So, we're looking at meatsuits? The bodies took a licking and the demons inside kept them ticking," Dean says.

"Probably. I think they were possessed, and now those soldiers are."

This bus was filled with demons in prisoner meatsuits and soldiers who are missing, and you can only assume the demons took them for a joy ride. The same Sergeant enters the bus with a tablet in her hand.

"Excuse me, agents? We pulled this off a security camera. You might want to take a look."

You take the tablet and watch the video with both Winchesters looking over your shoulders. The bus pulls into the parking lot for ten minutes, and then the soldiers inside step out and begin walking away. The last person to leave is someone you know and recognize, and your blood boils at the sight of her.

Abaddon.

You three finish what you're doing before leaving the bus so you can talk about this privately.

"Abaddon? Seriously?! I thought you Kentucky fried that meat suit," Dean says.

"I did, Dean," Sam sighs.

"You—well, then how'd she get it back? Why's she playing G.I. Joe?"

"No clue. Why don't you ask her when we find her?"

"Oh, I will, and then I'm gonna chop her fucking head off. Again."

"Leaving Abaddon alone in that warehouse wasn't the best idea, was it? You should have kept her buried," you smile sweetly, and Dean rolls his eyes in annoyance.

You're not going to get answers from here, so you decide to head back to the Bunker and come up with a game plan there. It's in the middle of the night and you're about halfway home when Kevin calls. He's panicking, and when he panics, nothing is ever good.

"Wait, Abaddon has what?" Sam says over the phone. He pulls back and places Kevin on speakerphone so you can all hear what he has to say. Kevin starts rambling in a panic, but Sam is quick to shut that down. "Kevin, you need to calm down. Tell us what happened."

"This lady called me. She gave me coordinates and two names. 44.053051 by -123.127860, and Irv Franklin and Tracy Bell."

"Abandon must have them," you whisper.

"Irv's a friend, but I don't know Tracy," Dean says.

"Alright, the lady said they were hunters, and that if you didn't go save them, that she would kill them. Who is this lady?"

"She's the bad guy, Kevin," you say. "Forget the angel tablet right now. We need you to look up everything you can on the Knights of Hell."

"Knights of Hell? Okay," Kevin sighs after a beat.

"If you find a way to kill one, and I mean permanently, call us," Dean says.

"Hey, how are the kids?" you ask before Sam can hang up on him.

"They're doing fine. They're playing in front of me where I can see them. Say hi," he says to them.

"Hi Mommy," Joanna says.

Knowing that they are fine, Sam hangs up the phone. New mission: Find Abaddon and hope not to get killed in the process. Sam works his magic on the laptop and pulls up the coordinates Kevin gave.

"The numbers point to a spot on the outskirts of Eugene, Oregon. You know this is a trap, right?"

"Yup."

"We're just going to walk right into it?"

"With guns blazing. Are you with us?"

"Always."

It takes an extra half-day to get there, so when you finally arrive, it's the middle of the day. This place really is an abandoned town. All the buildings are broken down with graffiti on virtually every surface. There are no signs of life anywhere, but Sam being Sam looked up the history of the town before you arrived.

"What the hell happened here?" you ask.

"A local chemical plant sprung a leak years ago. They evacuated three square blocks. I guess it's still contaminated."

"Wait, so this whole place is poisonous?" Dean asks.

"Yeah."

Dean instinctively covers his cock, and you laugh at this.

"Oh sweetheart, that's not going to help," you giggle and kiss his cheek. "Look, guys, if you see Abaddon, let me handle her. I'll try and hold her back while you shoot the ever-living shit out of her. Okay?"

"You got it," Sam and Dean agree.

While the coordinates are located in this town, the true location of Irv and Tracy is in the local diner that looks unsafe to even be in. You break open the lock on the door with your magic before pushing the door open cautiously.

Irv and Tracy are tied and gagged in the middle of the room with their backs to each other. Sam and Dean rush over to help them, but you stay by the door.

"Irv? Are you okay? Where's Abaddon?" Dean says when he removes his gag.

"Abaddon's been torturing hunters. She's trying to get intel on you three."

"Do you know why?" you ask and look out the lightly boarded-up window.

"I seriously doubt she wants to add you to her Christmas card list. Now, do you wanna make with the rescue or what?" Irv asks about his and Tracy's ties.

"Right after you take a shot of holy water."

Since some demons have mastered hiding from you, you can't be sure that Irv and Tracy aren't demons themselves. The best way to test this is with holy water, and both hunters take a sip to prove they are themselves.

"Happy?" Tracy snaps.

"You know the drill," Dean shrugs.

"Don't worry about it. The last thing you need is us popping black eyes," Irv sighs.

Dean takes care of Irv while Sam unties Tracy from her restraints.

"You're Tracy, right? I'm Sam Winchester," he tries to be friendly to her.

"Good for you," she snaps and moves away from him as fast as possible.

"She's new," Irv whispers. "We did a shifter job in Sacramento together. She's smart, but has a mouth on her."

"Let's gear up."

Dean and Sam work with Tracy and Irv to gather as many supplies and weapons as they can for the demons you know are coming. You're still by the window, and you haven't taken your eyes off the ground outside. If they are going to come, then the first place you think they'd look would be the place they locked Irv and Tracy up.

"Aren't you going to get ready with us?" Tracy asks.

"Honey, I am the weapon."

You demonstrate by throwing a ball of magic into the furthest wall. The plaster crumbles to the ground and there is a small dent, but Irv and Tracy understand what you can do.

"Alright, we got Jesus juice, guns are loaded with Devil's Trapped bullets, angel blades, and our own personal warhead. Anything else?"

You look out the window again, and this time, you see two demons in soldier meatsuits carrying rifles.

"Shit, they're coming and they've got assault rifles."

"So, what's the play here?" Irv asks.

Dean comes up with the brilliant plan to record his voice on his phone to lure the demons in here so that gives you time to escape and come up with a better plan. Once he does that, you five leave the diner through the back before the demons can come inside.

"We gotta kill the SEAL douche team in there, so Irv, you, and I will go left, and Sam, you, Y/N, and Tracy go right."

"Okay, let's move," Sam says, but Tracy has other plans

He lays a hand on her shoulder, but she jerks back aggressively and glares at him.

"Don't fucking touch me."

"Whoa, what's the problem?" you ask.

"My family's dead because of him."

"What?"

"I watched a demon slaughter my parents and the whole time it talked about how it was celebrating some dumbass kid who let Lucifer out of his cage."

Sam's whole face drops at her accusations. He still feels bad for what happened nearly four years ago.

"Okay, new plan. Tracy and I will go this way, and you, Sam, and Irv go the other way," you suggest. "Are you okay with that?"

"As long as it's not with him," Tracy shrugs.

You and Tracy leave the men's side, and you wait until they are out of earshot before you talk to her. The men will deal with the demons inside the diner while you're on Abaddon duty.

"Listen, Sam's not the only person who thought what he was doing was right. It went to shit. He made a mistake. That's part of being--"

"A hunter?" Tracy scoffs.

"Human." You let your words sink into her brain before continuing. "Look, if you want to be pissed at Sam, then be my guest. If you want to avenge your parents' death, then you have to go after the ones with black eyes. You have to know who the real monsters are in this world, kid."

You round a corner and come face to face with Abaddon. She rears her fist back and punches you to the ground, and you crumble in a cry of pain. Tracy takes out her gun and fires at her three times, and Abaddon stands there and takes it with a sinister smile.

"Nice try," she chuckles. She lifts her shirt up to reveal a bulletproof vest. "Kevlar beats magic bullets. I love the future."

You spit out some blood from your mouth and grin with bloody teeth. You blast Abaddon back with your magic, putting a few dozen feet between you and Tracy, and her. You put up a forcefield to keep her at bay while you stand up.

"Go get Dean."

"What? No, what about you?"

"Trust me, I can handle my own. Go get Dean!"

Tracy runs away from you, and when she is at a safe distance, you let down your forcefield so you can face Abaddon head-on.

"Finally, alone at last," she grins.

You blast her again, but she quickly dodges that as she runs at you. She throws her hand in front of her, and you're forced to your knees in front of her. You raise your hand to blast her, but she grabs your arm and snaps it in two.

Instead of the reaction she was hoping for, you just laugh in her face. Without blinking, you snap your arm back into place with a sicking crack.

"You're going to have to try a lot harder than that," you glare.

She uses her powers to pin your other arm behind you so that you're completely in a lock. You can easily get out of this, but if you keep distracting her, then she won't go after your family. Sam and Dean can handle the demons, but not Abaddon.

"I really appreciate the three of you coming when I call. I think that's what I like most about you Winchesters. You're so obedient and suicidally stupid. I like that, too," she grins.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I want Crowley, or what's left of him. I can't imagine you've been treating him with five-star quality."

"What's in it for me?" you chuckle.

She yanks on your arm, and you groan in pain from the strain she's putting on your body.

"I let you die. You give me Crowley's head, and I will snap your neck, quick and clean. You won't feel a thing, trust me."

"Yeah? What if I tell you to bite me?" you grin.

"I've thought a lot about possessing your delicious husband. He's got a body to die for, but you? I'm sure you got a 'no demons allowed' tattoo somewhere on your body. I'll peel it off your skin and blow smoke up your ass. It'll feel so good to possess a witch."

"You truly don't want to see the horrors waiting for you inside my head if you do. I'm the Sapphire Witch. I'll make you regret possessing me, and I'll keep you locked in my head without a second thought."

"Ooh, keep talking dirty," she chuckles. "Once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out? Have you ever heard your husband plead for you as you skin him alive? I bet your children taste amazing."

All thought flies out the window as soon as she mentions your kids. Dean can handle his own, your kids can't.

x

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#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural fiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural angst #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester angst #series rewrite #supernatural series rewrite #spn season 9

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: NYT02 Basic Recipe 28.

I do have the regrade of S06E02 in my drafts, but I thought I'd take a brief diversion with a New Year's Treat because I just watched it with my family. Adrien Chiles, Claudia Winkelman, Jonnie Peacock (represented in-studio by Alan Davies), Lady Leshurr, and Baroness Sayeeda Warsi. I wish we had a full season with these five because this episode rocked.

Prize Task: Most Beguiling, Unwieldy, Shiny Thing

You can only get so much joy from a shower head.

Wow, three conditions to evaluate. Let's start off with a definition on "beguiling." Per Oxford Language, "charming or enchanting, often in a deceptive way." Lady Leshurr and Jonnie obviously have the best two and I think it has to go to Jonnie because it's a part of the friggin Olympic Cauldron.

Adrian talking about descaling a tea urn was more interesting than I expected, but I can't in good conscience rank it ahead of Claudia's tiered fountain which beats out a tea urn in every category (except maybe shiny).

I'm perfectly comfortable putting Sayeeda last, because bringing a Christmas tree to New Year's show feels a little lazy.

Adrian: 2 (-1) Claudia: 3 (+2) Jonnie: 5 (+1) Lady Leshurr: 4 (-1) Sayeeda: 1 (-1)

VT 01: Put the egg in the egg cup in the most daring way. If the egg breaks, you are disqualified.

Why, earlier this year, did you have to crawl under a fence? Because I couldn't get over it. It's a real shame that Jonnie's breaks because he's the only one that really goes for it. Upon review, I think Greg gets these right. Claudia's attempt is terrible and while Lady Leshurr gamed her way into salmon, her "beyblade" spin was decent. Adrian deserves the five because it really did look painful.

Adrian: 5 Claudia: 2 Jonnie: DQ Lady Leshurr: 3 Sayeeda: 4

VT 02: Drink all the vinegar.

I watched a documentary on vinegars.

I love this task. There's ph paper in the room, the shots are organized by acidity, there's the hidden 85's, and both Jonnie and Adrian fall for the 3D glasses. All that and Claudia and Sayeeda get salty because they think they've outsmarted the task.

Then we get the bonus of Jonnie spilling the vinegar and solemnly returning with a straw. This task kicks ass and it was perfectly graded.

Adrian: 5 Claudia: DQ Jonnie: 4 Lady Leshurr: DQ Sayeeda: DQ

VT 03: Choose a length for this pole, then guide it through the course. The person who completes the course with the longest pole wins. Every time your pole touches something other than your hands, 10cm will be taken from its length.

The first thing she did was attempt to knock the front door down with the pole.

This is another really good task, making it a pretty strong episode over all. It's also impossible for me to regrade because I would have to count all the touches and assume that the show bothered to show me all of them. We'll just assume Alex did his job correctly.

Adrian: 5 Claudia: 1 Jonnie: 4 Lady Leshurr: 3 Sayeeda: 2

Live Task: Turn your ball into a head. Your new head must be the head of one of your fellow contestants.

It is orange.

I'm with Greg, I thought Leshurr did a self portrait originally. Claudia writes a clue to who hers is supposed to be, which is my least favorite thing. Alan's is pretty good, but I have to agree that Sayeeda just did great (even if she also wrote Adrian's name on it).

Adrian: 3 (-1) Claudia: 2 (0) Jonnie: 4 (+1) Lady Leshurr: 1 (0) Sayeeda: 5 (0)

F I N A L

Adrian: 20 (-1) Claudia: 8 (+2) Jonnie: 17 (+2) Lady Leshurr: 11 (-1) Sayeeda: 12 (-1)

No real competition here, Adrian really ran away with it.

Happy New Year.

#taskmaster #new years treat #tm regrade #adrian chiles #claudia winkleman #jonnie peacock #lady leshurr #sayeeda warsi #alan davies

[zstraps]

thinking about that post where someone asked what story will be read at storytime / feature symbolically in s2 and i said the little mermaid...coming back to that in light of ✨new information✨ i'm thinking about how the little mermaid starts with her saving the prince from drowning 👀 don't have coherent thoughts but the things swirling in my head are:

the arc of season 2 is "stede becomes a man" -> the little mermaid's efforts to become human

all of ariel's funky little trinkets in the disney version. thinking about her finding comfort in collecting objects that bring her joy, while longing for a world she can't be a part of and not fitting in among her peers. then finally leaving home to go make a place in that world

also thinking about all of those trinkets being things that fell from ships. perhaps thrown overboard

in the Hans Christian Andersen version the little mermaid has a statue of a "handsome youth" that she cherishes. something about stede's book with the illustration of blackbeard, something about an idealized representation of masculine beauty / an embellished and sensationalized representation of masculine violence. idk

the prince doesn't know that it was the little mermaid who saved him. i keep wondering if ed is going to remember the things stede said to him when he was unconscious, and even if he does, if he'll realize stede was really saying them or just assume it was a dream. (like he could just ASK and stede would tell him but these boys are the kings of Not Talking It Through so is that going to happen right away? unlikely)

from the wikipedia summary of the HCA version: "Most of all, he likes to see her dance, and she dances for him despite suffering excruciating pain with every step. Soon, the Little Mermaid becomes the prince's favorite companion ... but he does not fall in love with her at all." thinking about stede and ed being physically reunited but they still have to find their way back to each other emotionally. thinking about stede blaming himself for ed's spiral and about stede's tendency to self-flagellate. thinking about him maybe just being so overjoyed to have ed alive that he'll take whatever he can get from him. about ed being afraid to let stede close again, but stede being so glad to have his best friend, his closest companion, that he'll swallow the pain of that rejection. tamp down his own feelings of doubt or fear or guilt and put on a cheerful front, because his own unhappiness isn't that important, is it? (a really great fic in that vein, btw, is quick question by @darcylindbergh <3 thinking about a conversation that happens in ch 5)

buttons as the Sea Witch??

in the end, when the prince is set to marry another and the little mermaid will die when they wed, the little mermaid's sisters bring her a knife (which they got from the sea witch by trading their hair), and tell her that if she plunges the knife into the prince's heart and lets his blood drip on her feet, she will regain her tail and can return to the sea. she draws back the curtain on the sleeping prince but then: "The knife trembled in the hand of the little mermaid—then she suddenly flung it far away into the waves, which gleamed red where it fell." then she throws herself into the sea after it and dies via dissolving into sea foam as mermaids apparently do

this is the bit where my thoughts are least coherent but most !!!-feeling. first off, the bed nook, with its curtains, where a similar moment played out last season

then, thinking about how the crew's loyalty at this point is very much to stede, not ed. the crew as the little mermaid's sisters, maybe? thinking about the possibility of ed "betraying" stede in some way, and the crew coming together (/getting a magic solution from buttons? lol) to give stede a way out that requires him betraying ed in return, but he won't do it. thinking about "some people are just broken" and the rest of the crew seeing ed as a lost cause. i'm not sure how they'd build to a moment like this, narratively, given that ed's rock bottom moment where the crew was forced to turn against him has already happened, and i don't think any of us would actually believe for a second that stede is genuinely considering giving up on ed, but.

the little mermaid throwing herself off the ship -> stede leaving the revenge? some kind of forced separation at the end of the season, maybe; or maybe (the painn) leaving because ed wants him gone; or maybe (more painnn) leaving as part of a fuckery but ed doesn't know it's not real, or the inverse, ed telling him to leave as part of a fuckery. pain pain painnnn. no thank you to this one

something about the dagger being thrown aside is just really sticking with me. especially given the arc of ed longing for some peace and fuckin quiet, a life where he doesn't have to be violent, and the arc of stede longing for danger and excitement, and learning to be a better pirate, while still also wanting to avoid cruelty. throwing aside a symbol of violence has the potential to be a catharsis, or a sacrifice, or a moment of backbone.

like i said. not all coherent. but hmmmmm thinkin thoughts

#let me be clear i do not expect any of this to happen it's just fun to speculate and draw connections #so fucking excited to see where this season goes #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 predictions #z.op

[pandapupremade]

These Little Moments

Words: 974

Ship: Celia (Story of Seasons) / Rye (Self Insert)

Summary: Rye stumbles over his emotions with a little help from Celia and some fish.

Content Warnings: N/A, if you need anything specific let me know!

Reblogs okay and appreciated, but not required! This is just a little thing I wrote on impulse :']

------------------------------------------

Rye often wondered his emotions regarding life, and his feelings for living things like people, animals, and even plants. It was easy for others to know if they liked something or if they hated something or if they were happy with how they lived. Their favorite foods and their favorite songs; such things didn't come very naturally to him. He saw negativity in things around him, despite his best efforts not to. He was just too used to sadness, so appreciating things...It wasn't as easy.

It was a predicament. Yes, it was more than troublesome at times. Rye found himself pondering regularly, even overnight if insomnia took hold. The morning always came, and he still had few answers. 

He wondered if something was wrong with him now, sitting upon a small bridge. His legs were pulled up, so as not to risk getting his boots wet, but he wasn't uncomfortable. Physically, he was relaxed. An early dawn's spring breeze helped keep him this way, and reminded him of his scarf's presence. It was just a piece of purple fabric, but it brought him comfort.

Even so, things bothered him. After all, even fish knew their place and their opinions, and as did the people of Forget-Me-Not valley. Rye did not. He couldn't figure out much at all. He wanted to experience joy the same as others, but it grew difficult with further hardships.

...But as he spent time here on his father's old farm, he admitted it hadn't been quite as rough as he'd feared. He would have assumed otherwise with the business that came from fixing up and running an old settlement of such nature. Admittedly, one reason he sat down here was exhaustion from his morning chores.

Rye sighed, watching the fish...And was then to be met with company beyond those who were aquatic.

"...Rye, are you okay?" came a voice now; the sweet tone of the dear Celia. The bridge where he sat was connected to the farm Celia lived on, and Rye supposed it wasn't surprising she was up early and noticed him. She was leaned over to peer at him, since he had been looking down.

"Celia? S-sorry, I hadn't seen you there." Rye apologized, looking up at her.

"No, no. I'm sorry if I was interrupting...And if I startled you." She frowned, an expression Rye often didn't see from her. "Um...you were staring into space a little, though."

"W-was I?" He began to stand, but Celia put a light hand on his shoulder.

"Please - you don't have to get up. I...was hoping I could..."

She stopped now, voice trailing off. Slowly, she pulled her hand away. "...I'm sorry - I really shouldn't keep you..." She shook her head. "I should return before Marlin or Vesta get worried..."

Rye hesitated, but only for a moment really. After all, if he was quiet too long then Celia might find it a sign of rejection. "I....I'll stay if you will."

Now silence. Celia seemed taken off guard, but after a moment smiled a little. Despite being small, the smile showed genuineness.

"...Then let's sit here for a little longer."

Celia sat down. She was a little shorter in height, so her legs could be hung over the bridge and not be drenched by the river. She still pulled her dress up a teensy bit.

They sat in silence, watching the fish. It felt awkward at first to have only rushing water as their background and nothing more. Rye began to get nervous, and reached for his scarf to pull it closer.

"Rye?"

"Hm?" He paused, looking over.

"What kind of fish live in this river?"

Rye blinked at the question... "Um...I don't know all the types, but I think there's a lot of...Snelts, I think they're called? Big ones and small ones."

"Snelts..." Celia mused. She smiled, and a giggle left her lips. "That's a bit of a silly sounding name." Oh, her laugh was sweet. She swung her legs a little. "I don't really fish, but I like to see them swim...And the rush of water is ever so relaxing."

Rye felt a small thump in his chest as he watched her. He didn't mean to stare, but she was so lovely. She was two years older than him, but she had childish gestures and thoughts that were absolutely adorable. Rye's face heated slightly in a way not even the breeze could cool down.

But he stopped for a moment, a whirl of anxiety in his chest. It wasn't inherently bad anxiety, however, so much as an abrupt realization hitting him hard.

"...So that's what it's like ..." He didn't know, initially, that he said this aloud. Not until the girl beside him looked over at his mumble.

"Hm? What's what like?" Her eyes then widened a little, her expression becoming concerned. "Are you feeling alright? You're all red..."

"N -" He began, but was cut off by another rush as Celia leaned closer to him and placed her hand on his forehead.

"...You're very warm. Please don't overwork yourself so much, Rye. I know you're new to farming, so it's okay to go about it at your own pace."

"I...I feel fine, actually. I-I don't think it's any kind of...I think..." He wanted to look away, to break eye contact with her worried eyes...But their softness captivated him. Her hands may have been a little rough to the texture from the work she did on her farm, but they weren't any less gentle in behavior.

She was, by all accounts, beautiful. Rye struggled to understand his feelings, but at long last one was coming quite clear...A feeling of adoration and fondness that made his heart race, and made him happy in the scariest way.

And all it took to realize it was one little moment with the one he knew he loved.

#🌱💞 forget me never (celia) #🍞🚜 rye (self insert) #kermitwriting #ok 2 rb

[littlejunkerr]

I wrote this for my girlfriend before I even knew she’d be my girlfriend, not too proud but I’m not so disappointed that I think I should keep this from the public. So.. here.

Spoilers btw

┉┉┅┅┅┄┄┄┈•◦ೋ•◦*•◦ೋ•

┊ ✧ ┊ ၀ ┊ 𒊹 ࠬ 𖧹 ┊✩ᤲ ଂ𓂄┊

┊ ✱ ༷ ᤲଂ ┊ 〄 . ꥓ ┊𓇢 ᛫ ᤲ ଂ┊✦𓈒 𓆇 𓇽

┊ 𐬹 ꙳ ┊✶ ଂ. ┊ 𖥸

┊𓋜 𓂂 ┊ 𑁍ࠬ

┊ ᤱ ☾

✾

Fucking aesthetics bitch ❤️

The story is just an alternate ending where Arthur pops his silly ass back to life.

I would put more aesthetic fucking dividers but one is enough.

Alright, let me shut up.

There he was. Arthur Morgan, famous outlaw wanted for 5,000, on his last breaths. Though it wasn't too bad! He had company. Oh, right. Micah was there. So was Dutch who had foolishly followed the lies Micah had whispered in his ear. Dutch was like a father figure to Arthur, so it hurt much more than what he was going through to know his pa had followed the gangs rat. " C'mon, buddy! We did it! " Micah begged for Dutch to follow along. Though the hurt in Arthurs eyes was enough to make him turn his back, though Dutch knew better. Micah would be back soon for him. As the two walked away, Arthur was left on the cliff, faced up against the sky as the sun had slowly started to raise. Was this it? Was this really how he was going to die? There wasn't any option now. Arthur wheezed and coughed as he turned over and crawled his way to the cliff's ledge, just so he could see the sun rising. Just one last time. All the outlaw could do was just lay and watch the sun. That beautiful, last rising sun he would see. It was the best way to go, if he even had too. God knows that Arthur wasn't going to survive this, and the boy knew it too. He took his last breath and... silence. Darkness. He knew he wasn't alive so he could only assume he passed on. Suddenly, a bright light, a voice. A little boy calling out. " Papa! Mama, papa's back! He came! " Arthur listened closely. Wait... he knew that voice. Isaac! His son! Arthurs eyes fluttered open, and he was greeted with the smiling face of his little boy. God did he miss that face. " Isaac! God, I missed ya! " The cowboy exclaimed as he bent down and hugged his son tightly. Quiet tears ran down his face as his guilt for not saving him washed away with happiness. " You sure took your time, Mr. Morgan! " Eliza joked with a soft smile. Arthur's head perked up at the second familiar voice, the tears only continuing to pour. " Eliza, I-...I'm sorry... " Was all the male could say before standing and letting go of his boy. " You have nothin to apologize for you big bafoon! But, what- what are you doing here? You have people who *NEED* you Arthur! " His old love exclaimed before placing a hand on his shoulder. " You need to go back. " She said without any explanation apart from that. " Wh-...? I can't leave. I just got here, a-and- " Arthur was hushed by Isaac squeezing his leg tight. " We'll be waiting, Arthur, don't worry. We can't go anywhere! " Eliza's smile filled Arthur with joy and hope. He missed this. This feeling, and oh how much did he miss his son. " Okay. But I can't promise my next visit won't be soon! " The male laughed before once again; it all went black. He heard birds, leaves rustling in the wind. Arthur felt the sun on his skin. With a big gasp of air his eyes were open once more. He was alive. Why? How? Guess God gave him a second chance. Getting up, he made his way down the mounted, called his horse nearby, and rode off to find the others. Arthur got a second chance, and he'd make the most of it, so goddamn it he wasn't going to let anyone down.

Fucking fantastic man 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽❤️❤️❤️❤️

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption #writing #idfk dude

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 63

Man, there's too many bloody cults in here and I cannot keep them all straight. Anyway, that sounds like the darkness cult, right? They hung out in empty churches as well, no?

More importantly: Who is Georgie and was Jon genuinely friends with someone who runs a spook youtube channel and please tell me he helped out in an episode. I'm HERE for this backstory.

Also a distracting amount of new characters! There seems to be a new girl working - in the archives? Or maybe with Rose(?) at the front desk? Also Whoever Diana is. Yes, she runs the library, but now I do wonder of the set up of the whole Institute. They have an archive, with a head archivist and several archival assistants. They also have a research department that collaborates with universities, which I assume also features the library. Artefact storage could be a seperate organisational department or could be just run by the archivists too. But where is the research department and the library? I never thought to ask, but how many people were traumatized by the worms in S1? I know the building was evacuated early on, but I am suddenly deeply amused by the archives simply being located in the basement of an otherwise regular, lively building.

Imagine one of the library workers comes into the archives to make a statement about "you archivist creeps. I have no idea what's going on but since the worms it's been clear you've been getting up to real spooky shit by yourselves. Here's a few things we've noticed and also a bunch of restraining orders we want put up because honestly, the assistant with the scissorhands is pushing it." - "Michael?!" - "Yeah, that's what he said his name was. Anyway, real usefull during Marion's retirement party, way less useful when you're trying to hand him a stack of books to help you reshelf" - "Listen to me very carefully. We do not have an assistant named Michael. He's a supernatural entity that haunted Sascha and stabbed me" - "Not like you don't deserve it" - "What was that?" - "Nothing! So you're saying Michael is evil?" - "I'm saying I saw him make a woman disappear with my own two eyes and I am frankly freaked out by the fact that none of you librarians and researchers are dead yet. When did you see him, exactly?" - "Every tuesday and friday for library wide coffee breaks." - "You've got to be kidding me" - "I thought he was strange but like I said, you archive people are strange anyway! Next you'll tell me Mary from accounting is a serial killer or something" - "..." - "Oh fuck off Jon. I knew I shouldn't have come to the basement people" - "Is that really what everyone has been calling us" - "Tim's face used to be so pretty. Now you can fit fingers into the circles under his eyes. Y'all suck the joy out of everything." - "This place is literally haunted with horrors beyond our comprehension." - "I know Jon, I work in a library and my Latin is passable at best."

(that got away from me).

Wait, is Elias head of the Institute, or just head of the department? I thought he's just the head of the department, but if he's the head of the institute... UHM. What.

That doesn't actually change anything, I don't think. Only something about my perceived sense of responsibility for this guy? Ugh. Idk.

Oh right!

I'd originally meant to point out how Melanie reacted kind of weird to Sascha's name? If she didn't know her (which I don't think she would, given she's been there once), then why not just say so? Or why bring it up at all?

Are all the other new character mentions a distraction? Is Sascha a distraction? I'm sitting in front of a puzzle in the shape of a whole bunch of pretty women and can't make sense of it or even tell which one's real and which one's I'm supposed to know.

This is the tumblr porn bots all over again.

#tma #the magnus institute #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #tma georgie #oh god of course there's a tag #melanie king #what a strange woman indeed #tma season 2 #tma live reaction

[ramblinganthropologist]

A girl's first corpse

Summary: Aeronwen is still a newbie necromancer. She's about to get a crash course in summoning the dead, but at least she'll get a friend out of it?

---

You know, there were reasons that librarians weren't typically included in field missions, but Aeronwen couldn't remember that at the moment. Was it the fact she was unaccustomed to walking so far, or the fact that her forehead still bore the brand of the burning sun? Who knew... definitely not her.

"You doing ok back there, Princess?"

Varric's voice brought her out of her reverie. She got a chance to look around - they were still in the countryside heading towards a fishing village off the coast of Ferelden. She knew that enough from how the rocks sounded under her feet as she walked. She had read a book on geology once - this was the type of rock common in Ferelden. The dwarves weren't too fond of it - they liked the deeper stuff. It was good for throwing at people though, which is why so many rebel mages had gotten good at throwing it at Templars during the war.

Not that she had thrown any rocks. Tranquil didn't really have much of a free will to toss rocks at their former jailers. It was kind of a disappointment - she had a list she would've liked to take out.

Aeronwen offered him a weak grin as she adjusted the staff on her back. "Just a little sore. I don't usually walk this much back at Skyhold."

Or ever. Oh, the joys of having been confined to the Circle for her entire life.

"No complaining, you asked to sign up." Sera's voice carried from the front. She had been asked to come along because Aeronwen’s preferred rogue was busy with legal stuff for the Inquisition. She would've much preferred to have Jackel there - the Dalish woman was a much nicer tentmate than Sera and didn't spill her things everywhere when they set up for the night.

Could be worse - apparently the elf liked to put lizards in bedrolls. Aeronwen didn't like lizards.

"I wasn't complaining, Sera, just answering Varric." She frowned - Sera had made it clear how she felt about her. So had The Iron Bull for that matter - he was giving her a wide berth as they walked. Logically, she understood why - neither of them liked mages. Dare she say they were afraid of them? It certainly felt that way whenever they looked away from her when she caught their gaze. Then again, she wasn't a typical mage - the brand was proof of that.

She couldn't really help being ex-Tranquil. It hadn't exactly been her choice after all.

"How much further do we need to go, Trevelyan?" Bull's deep bass rumbled from the back. He was deferring to her because technically, this was her mission. The Inquisitor had given it to her after all, partially because her specialization would hopefully prove useful. The real reason she assumed was because there was no other necromancer in Skyhold that was free, so Kaaras had to risk it on her. 

No doubt Cassandra was still chomping at the bit that she didn't get to play mage jailer on the road. It brought joy to her scarred little heart.

It was a fascinating mission in her opinion though. They had gotten an ask for help from a fishing village besieged by what they believed to be Red Templars. Normally, that could've taken anyone, but there was a fun fact that had called Aeronwen to the front of the list. If the reports were to believed, the Templars were hiding out in the caves near the village where the villagers laid their dead to rest.

So, they had asked a necromancer to take the lead.

"I think just another day's trek at the pace we're going will get us there. We'll only have one more night on the road." Aeronwen did her best to hide her relief. It was getting downright uncomfortable to share a tent with Sera. The elf hadn't tried anything, but she made her feelings very well known.

It was kind hard to sleep near someone who was a mix of repulsed and shit terrified of you. Reminded her of her time during the war when the mages had let her tag along so someone could use her skull later...

"Sounds good to me." Varric glanced towards the sky above their heads. It was slowly turning red, indicating that the sun was beginning to set. "Maybe we should set up camp for the night. Only a few of us can see in the dark."

Few of us was code for Aeronwen - as a human she lacked that skill.

But they set up camp, and soon had the fire going. Dinner was a quiet affair, with the mage poking the fire with a stick after she was done eating. Fire had always been fascinating to her, in part because her focus had once been ice. It had made fire painful to be around, but now that her original core was long dead and torn from her, she could get close.

It was her poor attempt at finding a bright side to her condition. It didn't really work, but she had to try her best or she would start crying and that just made everyone uncomfortable.

"Doing some kind of weird spell to see if we can spot the red guys, Trev?"

Sera always asked if she was doing spells. Most times it was in a nervous sort of way, but this one sounded like she might have been joking. Maybe she was finally getting used to her, or the full stomach was putting her in a good mood? Aeronwen didn't know, but she would take what she got.

"Elemental's not really my source anymore, so not really. I just like looking at it." She kept poking her stick. "I think there's a way to scry with fire, but I don't know how to do it. That's more hedge mage stuff, maybe Solas might..."

Aeronwen trailed off as she spotted the glazed over, bored look the elf was giving her. Clearly, she didn't want to know the specifics. That made her cheeks color as she stared back down at the fire. At least when she looked at that, she didn't have to know she was boring people.

"Nah, not mysterious enough for him." Sera's shadow wiggled her fingers at the mention of mysterious. "You've seen him talk shit to the hedgehog, he likes the really old bullshit."

That he did. Not that Aeronwen had ever spoken much to Solas; she got the sense she made him uncomfortable. Whether that was because of her Tranquil background or the fact she was a necromancer, she wasn't sure. To be polite, she gave him a wide berth and only spoke to him when he came to her in the library.

Old habits die hard, she supposed.

"He is a specialist in old magic for sure." Aeronwen nodded at that. "I hope I know as much about necromancy as he does about force magic one day."

Sera made a face. "Ugh, what would that mean?"

Clearly, her tentmate was interested for once. Maybe she was warming up to her after all. At any rate, Aeronwen contemplated it as she poked at the flames.

Truth be told, she wasn't sure. Necromancy was still new to her in many ways compared to her old focus of ice magic. She couldn't tell based on the necromancers she knew - Dorian and her cousin Ian had completely different styles. Ian's necromancy had a playful edge to it, almost mocking death as he embraced it on his face. Meanwhile, Dorian's was far more refined, almost sarcastic at times. Though they shared a specialization, they both wielded it differently.

She had no idea what her own necromancy felt like...

"You zone out on me there, Trev?"

Aeronwen shook her head as she put her stick aside for the moment. "No, I was just thinking about your question. I don't really know my necromancy well enough to guess how mine's going to turn out. I'm not as fancy as Dorian, but I'm not as wild as my cousin. So I can't guess where it's going to go if I'm going off my sample source."

"He does feel fancy." Sera snorted at that - maybe she approved? "As long as you don't bring it round me, I don't care what it turns into."

Fair enough - necromancy could be a little stomach turning. Even Aeronwen was still getting used to it.

"Understandable." She rose, nudging her stick into the fire. Nearby, Varric was heading to the tent he shared with Bull. "I think I should head to bed as well. I'm no good to anyone if I'm half asleep."

It was practically a requirement - let her sleep. Ex-tranquil were unstable after all.

At any rate, Aeronwen soon crawled into the tent she shared with Sera and snuggled into her bedroll. She was so tired she didn't care the elf's things were everywhere, or that her feet hurt and her back was sore from her staff. In that moment, her body screamed for sleep and she was going to answer it. Without much struggle, she fell into a deep sleep before she even realized she was nodding off.

---

The nice thing about the Fade was that things usually didn't hurt.

Aeronwen glanced around, shaking her head as she stood. Silently, she crawled out of the tent, taking her staff with her. Outside, the world was frozen. Bull and Sera sat at the fire, paused mid gesture. It looked a little vulgar, so she shook her head as she passed them by. They would never know she had walked by - that was the nice part about the Fade.

She would've just puttered around, but off in the distance a soft light drew her attention. Curiosity killed the librarian, so she found herself walking towards it. Another nice thing about the Fade was how it sped up travel. Within the blink of an eye, she was at the edge of the village.

It was a small place in the Fade - the boats were tied up at the docks for the night, and no doubt in the real world the waves lapped at their sides slowly. It smelled like fish and salt and wet wood. Strangely, it was comforting as she walked along the silent docks, imagining how the well-worn wooden boards would creak under her feet as she made her way towards the village.

"Are you here with the smelly men?"

A soft voice, like the tinkle of a bell, drew Aeronwen's attention to the edge of the dock. Much to her surprise, there was a girl sitting there swinging her foot in the water. She was looking over her shoulder, damp hair dripping down her dress made of what looked like ripped sails and seaweed. Her skin was a blueish gray, and her eyes were as blue as the sea.

At first, she would've thought she was a ghost of some poor girl who had drowned, but her eyes were all wrong. There was light there, and power to match it. She may have been small, but the girl was some kind of spirit of nature. Maybe she was the village guardian, watching over the fisherman as they plied their trade?

Definitely didn't feel like a demon at any rate.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure who you mean by smelly men."

The girl hopped up from the dock and skipped over to her, trailing sea water in her wake. She came up to the mage's hip, and that close Aeronwen could see the minute scales that made up her skin. In the light, she would probably glitter.

"The smelly red men who spend their time in the chambers of the dead." The girl frowned. "I don't like them... they feel bad. They're not from here and I can't grab them to drown them in the high tide."

Yep, definitely a village protective spirit.

"Can you tell me anything else about them? I think I might be here to help you."

Of course she was technically there to help the village, but the girl was part of that. Besides, she was an early lead on what could be happening. Spirits didn't sleep, and they could go wherever they wanted as long as there was no warding. She would have seen things the living villagers might not have.

The girl nodded, sending sea spray in her wake. "They remind me of the men who spend their time in the smelly house and can't get more. They shake and shiver in the night."

Addicts in withdrawal - Aeronwen had seen it during the war.

"You don't glow red like them, miss." She tugged at her sleeve. "Their eyes are red too. It scares me when I see them... I hide in the tide pools until they're gone."

The mage frowned at that. "No, I'm not taking the stuff they are. They're eating some really bad stuff that makes them even worse than usual."

She knelt down. "Did you see any of them have a mark like a sword on them? It looks something like this."

Aeronwen drew a rough sword of mercy in the dirt with her finger, pausing as she added the lines for the flames. Even though she wasn't Andrastian, she knew it well enough from her years of hiding in the library from the Templars. No doubt it would always be burnt into her memory, just as the sun had been burnt into her forehead when she had been a teenager.

Religious trauma - it was the gift that kept on giving.

The spirit frowned as she studied the image. "I think so... one of them had it on the shiny part on his front."

Right - Templars had it on the front of their armor. Some of the more subtle ones - like Cullen. Ex Templar her ass - wore it on their greaves or as jewelry. Regardless, if they had the mark and they were glowing red, it sounded like they were right on track of finding who they were looking for.

Why they had come to such a small village was beyond her. Maybe one of them grew up here? Or maybe it was the chance to grab a boat and flee - Templars, regardless of their lyrium source, rarely cared about collateral damage. It was one of the many reasons she disliked them.

"Well, then we're here to help you." Aeronwen smiled at the spirit, who showed her impressive set of shark teeth in return. "You said they were in the chambers of the dead? Where might I find them so I can kick them out and let the villagers rest in peace?"

Her impromptu guide pointed towards the edge of the village, where the mage could see a cliff. "There's a cave under that cliff with a path cut into the rocks. The villagers place their dead there until they're ready to come with me back to the sea. I was getting an old man when..."

The girl frowned and looked away. "The bad men make it hard to get inside... the old man's still in there. He wants to come home and I can't get him. Bad things happen to them when I can't get the villagers. The big men are too big to drown, too, so I can't get them out myself."

Ah, so she was a spirit of the village and one of death. Interesting to see the two combined - maybe ancient traditions had mashed the two together and given her a double role. Had Aeronwen had the time, she would have asked about it, but unfortunately she was kind of on a mission.

Maybe later she could ask...

"Well, we'll get them out of there for you." She smiled again. "Then you can go in and get the old man so you can both go back to the sea."

It was nice to see the spirit perk up - her eyes practically glowed. "You mean it? Everyone else is too scared..."

"I was sent here to get them out, you can count on me and my friends." Friends was probably laying it a bit too thick, given she was sure only Varric liked her. But explaining group dynamics to a nature spirit was kind of a waste, so friends it was. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

The girl smiled, once again showing her teeth. "If you see any pretty seashells or rocks on the beach, can you toss them into the tide pool surrounded by coral? The villagers leave me things there and they haven't been able to do that for a while. I like the seashells they toss in!"

Make an offering to the nature spirit - easy enough. Aeronwen nodded as she watched the edges of the world start to fade. She was beginning to wake up, which means it was the end of their conversation. She gave the girl a little wave as her vision went white. The last thing she heard was the rush of waves and a child's laugh. Then there was nothing but the white emptiness.

---

"I've been calling her for five bloody minutes, she isn't waking up. You don't think she's possessed or something, do you?"

"Mages always take time to come back from the Fade, she's probably going to come around soon. Besides, I'm pretty sure she said demons didn't like her because she was Tranquil."

"That's not exactly comforting, Varric."

The sound of familiar voices was the first thing that came to Aeronwen as her senses returned. Her eyes opened slowly as she started to sit up, yawning. One of the voices belonged to Sera, who all but jumped back from the sudden movement. Varric, at the opening of the tent, had to resist the urge to laugh. Judging by the fact he was standing in shadow, Bull must've been nearby checking on what was going on.

Whoops. Looks like she overslept.

"Sorry, it took me a while to get back from the Fade." She rubbed her eye to dislodge the sleep gunk. "I was talking with the spirit of the village about our targets."

Unsurprisingly, that went over like a brick in water. Sera looked suspicious to say the least, and there was a flash of doubt in Varric's eyes. Judging by the fact the dwarf got a bit of sun, Bull had changed position. All Aeronwen could do was contemplate why they had sent her with this party in particular as she shook her head and stretched.

"Just a reminder, demons don't want me because of the brand." She started to gather her things. "And I didn't get a demon vibe from her anyway. She was pretty helpful, showed me where we need to go. Turns out we've got some Red Templars in withdrawal in the caverns the village puts their dead in."

Outside, there was sun - perfect weather for possible necromancy. And if they were lucky, it would stay that way until they got to the village and found their problem Templars.

---

By the time the sun had stretched across the sky, the group was making their way down the path that would take them to the watery gravesite.

The village they had passed through to get there looked just like it had in her dream, only it was noisier and the people were awake. They didn't say much, just looked with fearful eyes as they made their way through. Aeronwen would have thought they would ask how they knew about the path, but she had decided against asking. Fear did things to people, especially when a mage was asking questions they didn't want to answer.

"Why are they putting their dead in a cave anyway? Shouldn't they be burning them like everyone else?"

Sera didn't sound convinced as she climbed down in front of the group. Aeronwen and Varric were in the middle, while Bull brought up the back. It was quite a motley crew - no wonder the villagers hadn't said anything when they had passed through. Small villages didn't like foreign folk, especially if they weren't human.

Her being a mage hadn't exactly helped either...

Aeronwen used her staff for balance as she sought her way down the cliff. "This area probably was never strongly influenced by Andrastianism. No doubt they kept their old gods and old methods of burial. It makes sense - those who live by the sea want to go in it when they die, like their ancestors before them."

She could respect that. Burning the dead had never sat right with her when she had sat in Chantry class at the Circle. She had attended more than one Andrastian funeral there too - you never forgot the smell. Maybe it was a sign she was meant to be a necromancer that it made her kind of hungry...

Was that wrong? Probably... ugh.

"So we're going into some caves crawling with generations of dead people." Bull didn't sound excited by that. He never was when it came to dead stuff. "Are you going to be able to keep it in control, Trevelyan?"

Aeronwen responded by holding up her wrist, where the warding charm sat. It helped siphon off some accidental magic should it occur. Most mages didn't need them past the age of puberty, but she was... a special case to say the least. She had one on each wrist just in case.

"These should make sure I don't accidentally summon someone's grandpa if I get scared." She shrugged. "Besides, these aren't the final resting places. Once the body decomposes enough, it's washed out to sea. I think that's when the spirit girl takes their spirit back to the sea and... well she didn't tell me what happened after. Maybe they all just stay in the sea until reincarnation?"

She should've asked about that...

Speaking of the spirit girl, her tidal pool came into view as they touched the bottom. It was a pretty thing, dark blue and ringed with various colors of coral. She could see rocks and seashells at the bottom, left there by villagers probably during the funeral. Someone had even put a little doll there - something for her to play with perhaps.

Hopefully she found a nice shell for her. It was polite to give tribute to the dead of the land when passing through.

"You make it sound poetic, Princess." Varric almost chuckled, but then he nearly slipped. Luckily, she was able to extend her staff to keep him from face planting in the wet gravel. "Ugh, thanks. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate cliffs?"

And forests, and caves and... well, all natural things. It was why they got along so well.

“Be careful, the spirit will take you if you die and I don’t know how dwarves feel about being washed out to sea.” Aeronwen helped him back on his feet with her staff. “I’m not about to fight a spirit over it, to be honest.”

That would be a nasty fight, even outside of the Fade. She liked Varric but… no thanks.

“I don’t blame you, Princess, spirits aren’t exactly easy to beat. Remind me to tell you about Justice one day.”

Ooh, spirit talk. Nice – she could hardly wait.

With that, they continued towards the entrance to the grave site. Here, the villagers had also left their mark. There were doused candles melted on the rocks and sea grass braided into ropes to guide the way should it be dark when it came time to give their dead to the sea. It was all leading to the mouth of the cave, carved by the sea and human hands in letters she couldn’t read.

She had to wonder if the villagers knew just how old their burial site was – those were more than a few ages old.

Inside, it was dark and wet. Aeronwen produced light at the end of her staff to help her and Bull see – Sera and Varric were lucky enough to have dark vision. It was surprisingly clean inside, given the sea washed in at high tide.

It also had a body sitting in the center niche. It was a decently sized thing, so at least whoever it was had been an adult. Someone had laid trinkets near the body – a fishing lure, an old pipe, and a piece of coral. Whether they were grave goods or gifts for the spirits, she wasn’t sure. But it was a body, and she knew that much.

Aeronwen approached the corpse, hand outstretched. Her fingers brushed the cloth, and, in that moment, she knew the man who lay there. He was a fisherman, the crotchety sort who spent time staring at the sea and going against the waves in his little boat. He had died in his sleep after a long day of fishing – his bad leg would trouble him no more.

“She’ll be coming for you soon, I promise.”

She wasn’t sure why she whispered it to a corpse clearly rotting and beyond hearing her, but it felt right. The mage gave the bundle a small pat as she stepped back, feeling the last of the energy dissipate from her fingers.

Behind her, Sera groaned. “Is she going to do that for every corpse in here? It’s all gross and rotted.”

Yes, that was kind of the point of a sea burial…

Still, Aeronwen just shook her head and kept going. There was a pathway cut into the far wall that looked not as old as the rest. No doubt more prominent members of the village had decided being fish food for the sea spirits wasn’t ideal and they had erected something deeper. Here there would be dusty corpses, away from the lure of the sea.

So much for believing in the sea gods…

At any rate, they walked down the path. It sloped downwards, going deeper in. The smells became less salt and sea and more dust and time – typical for a grave site. With any luck, their templar targets would be at the bottom.

Bull had to duck to keep his horns from burying into the rocks. He grumbled, rubbing his sore shoulder. “Don’t see how the sea could reach the dead here.”

“They wouldn’t. This area is for those who decided against the traditional burial and had the money to do so.” Aeronwen held her staff a little higher to help him see. “Doubt the sea spirits are happy about that, honestly.”

“Leave it to rich bastards to think they’re too good for their own type of burial.” Sera’s voice was thick with scorn – she might not have believed in a sea burial, but she definitely hated people who did stuff like that. “Can’t believe they’re even out here.”

Varric had his hand to the wall, so he didn’t take a tumble down stairs more designed for human legs than his own. “You’ll find them everywhere, even here.”

And hopefully, the sea gods would find them too… she didn’t like when people didn’t follow proper burial rights.

The talk died after that, mostly because they were all focused on getting down the rough stairs without dying. Eventually, they touched down at the bottom. Here, there were a few coffins marked with stone lids. A few had been cracked – grave robbers, no doubt. She could see a leg bone poking out – it looked old.

“Oi, Trev, don’t even think about taking it.” Sera snickered at the sight. “I see you eyeing it.”

Aeronwen blushed as she turned away. “I was just trying to figure out when the lid was smashed. Either our Templars broke it, or they’ve got a looting problem.”

The elf still snickered, thinking she had scored a point. It was time to ignore her in favor of focusing on the energy of the crypt they were standing in. They were simple coffins - probably later members of the family who weren't as important. The carvings on the lids still held definition, so these were the most recent. If she knew anything about Templars coming down from lyrium withdrawal, they would've gone further in to seek quiet from the pounding migraines of addiction.

That, and hide whatever they were planning.

"I don't know if I'm going to fit through that." Bull's voice was flat as he pointed to the door at the far end. "Looks like it's going to be a tight squeeze for you too, Trevelyan."

Ah, the joys of being over 6 feet tall.  Aeronwen felt sweat trickle down her neck as she approached the door. Bull was right - it would be a tight squeeze for her, but it wasn't impossible. She would just have to stoop down and hope for the best. Him, on the other hand? No way in hell they were getting him in. Even if they got him down on his bad knee and made him crawl, his horns wouldn't get through the door.

"Keep watch out here for anything that might come down." She waved her staff and allowed a globe of mage light to hover by him. Thanks to that, it was easy to see his shoulders slump in relief. "Don't worry, I wouldn't leave you in the dark."

"Thanks, Trevelyan. I'll post up here."

After that, the three left him there as they went through the door. It was dark, and a little damp. Water dripped on Aeronwen's head and shoulder as she made her way through, staff out to allow her to see. Behind her, Sera and Varric had their weapons drawn in case they found something.

The room on the other side had more coffins, broken open to show they had been looted. Whoever had done it was wearing some form of armor - there were scrapes from greaves and breastplates. Most thieves didn't wear plate armor, so that definitely narrowed things down.

"Guess they're looting to get money for lyrium." Sera prodded a broken lid. "Bastards must be strung out."

"Oh, great, twitchy Templars in closed quarters." Varric sounded oh-so enthused as he turned to Aeronwen. "You take us to the best places, Princess."

Aeronwen would've answered, but the sounds of an argument in the distance made her shut her mouth and crane her ears. It was a bunch of men based on how deep they sounded, and their voices were slightly slurred. These were men deep into their addiction, and she had an idea what their substance of choice is.

"... it's mine... not... up."

Then there was a strangled noise and the sound of something hard hitting a far off wall. The argument died down from that. Aeronwen's stomach churned as she flashed through the possibilities. It was very likely one of them had just been killed... it made things easier for sure, but it still made her nervous.

"Great, they took one out for us." Sera drew her bow. "Well, you're leading this, Trev. We going in bows blazing or what?"

She shook her head. "Go in slow, we don't know what kind of energy they have."

So they crept along, seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It opened to what was probably the oldest of the tomb area, based on how faded the carvings were and how elaborate their coffins were. These lids were also shattered, their bones smashed to collect whatever could be found there. There were two men standing there, staring down at the floor where a third lay there motionless. Their bodies were tense, probably because of the red shards erupting from their skin and dented armor.

They were shivering, and it wasn't from the cold.

"Damn it, he didn't have any on him." The bigger one kicked the corpse on the ground. "Bastard must've used it all up."

The smaller one spit something glowing to the side. "We almost have enough to get more. Might as well leave him here to rot with the corpses and get moving."

The two shared a harsh laugh, then turned to pick up their bags of looted goods. It was then Aeronwen hid, pressing against the wall as hard as she could. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck as she felt her heart began to race. Of course now of all times the sight of Templars would drive her to panic... so much for her training.

Who knew trauma came out at the worst times?

"I think I saw something." The little one prodded his friend. "Go check it out."

The larger man scowled as he dropped his bag with a heavy clatter. "Don't see why I've got to do it."

"Because you have your sword still." The small man scowled back. "Just go check it out. Might be one of those damn villagers coming to visit grandpa."

The sound of footsteps began to come closer. Aeronwen's eyes widened as she slapped her free hand over her mouth so she wouldn't yelp. Her mind was going wild, and rational thought was gone as the Templar approached.

No, no, no... not a Templar. She needed help... somebody help and stop them.

"What the fuck?"

The small man's voice rose over the pounding of her heart and stopped his companion from finding her. A strangled scream rang out through the crypt, and then a wet sound followed. This made the large Templar turn tail and run towards the noise, allowing her to catch her breath.

"Holy shit, how-"

Another scream, then a thud. The air grew quiet after that, and soon a dragging sound of footsteps began to approach. Aeronwen's heart leapt to her throat as she readied her staff with sweaty hands, expecting the worse. Her panic was still there, but she could at least think.

A man appeared at the front of the entrance. They were wearing Templar armor and carrying a greatsword in one hand. The side of their head was dented in, almost like they had been hit there. One eye was closed, and the other was glowing a light purple. Strangely, they didn't have shards of red - they were just a Templar.

A dead Templar.

"Stay back!" Aeronwen held out her staff. "I-..."

She stopped. The Templar took a step back, and then they put their sword on their back. Their motions were jerky, slow - like they weren't in full control. Then blood dribbled from their mouth as they dropped to the ground in a heap that no living human would be able to pull off without broken bones.

"What the fuck?"

Sera peered over Aeronwen's shoulder. "He just... fucking dropped dead."

Varric was soon there too, Bianca at the ready. "I think that was the one they killed, look at his head. Nobody could survive a blow like that."

But then... how did he get there?

Aeronwen frowned as she approached the corpse, fear replaced with curiosity. She prodded an arm with the end of her staff and got a shiver of energy across her skin. The man's dead eye found her, and they slowly rose to their feet with shaky movements. Apart from that, they just stood there, waiting...

Waiting for her to give them an order.

"Are..." She swallowed. "You're a construct now, aren't you?"

She had read about that in books back at Skyhold. Sometimes, if enough magic was imbued into a corpse, they became a permanent summon of an individual necromancer. Usually they could be told by the purple glow in their eyes and their utter obedience to the caster's requests.

They had the eyes, they had the orders...

"Wait, you're doing this?" Varric sounded as surprised as she was. "But you didn't cast any spells."

Aeronwen nodded shakily as she walked around her construct, inspecting them. She could feel her magic radiating off them in waves, the surest sign that they were under her control. Eventually, she wound up face to face with the dead Templar, blood still trickling from their mouth as they stood there with dead eyes.

"I think... I did it by accident when I was scared." She winced as she held out her wrist - the charm was broken. "I was so afraid of the Templar my panic must've caused this to break. I remember asking for help... he was so newly dead that it was an easy call to get him standing."

Sera eyed the broken charm with disgust. "Thought you weren't supposed to have accidents with those."

"Apparently, my fear of Templars overcomes even the strongest wards." Aeronwen's voice was flat as she glanced past her construct into the room. The other two Templars were dead, practically sliced in half from their dead companion's blade. "And it looks like they killed them for us."

Well... that had worked out well?

"Guess they did us a favor." Varric was giving the corpse a wide berth. "What are you going to do with them? It be easy to leave them with the others..."

It would be easy... but it wasn't like this was a regular walking corpse. If they were truly a construct, they were going to seek her out until she permanently severed the bond. Until then, they were under her control. She had officially tied them together without even meaning to do it.

So... shit.

"He's coming with us." The two let out a strangled noise, and Aeronwen sighed. "I know, I wasn't planning on it... but he's a construct. Better he comes with us than scare the villagers by lumbering around."

She glanced around - there was a cloth covering one of the coffins. She grabbed it and tied it around the constructs shoulders, using the material to hide their face. Her magic would keep them from rotting, but she would take care of that permanently when she got back to Skyhold.

Maybe her cousin could lend her a few chemicals to break the flesh down... or she could bury them and wait. Chemicals sounded better honestly, but they might interact with the lyrium...

"It's going to smell, Trev!" Sera sounded incredulous. "I get you necros want to play with a neat corpse, but it's going to fall apart!"

Varric nodded at that. "We would stand out having a rotting corpse following us, Princess. Might be best to let him rest."

Aeronwen shook her head as the construct followed her. "He won't start rotting until we get back to Skyhold. Once we're back, I'll start cleansing the lyrium from his body and working on defleshing him. I think he'll hold up better as a skeleton, and he'll be easier to store when I'm not summoning him..."

She trailed off. The two had a less than comfortable look on their faces, probably because she had begun to talk shop. Her cheeks colored as she glanced back to her new friend. He had no idea what was coming for him, but with luck and help from Dorian and Ian she could pull it off.

Maybe it be better not to tell the Inquisitor about this one...

"Anyway, he's coming with us." Aeronwen started to leave the tomb. She had a seashell to find for her friend, and then a story to concoct for Bull to explain their new party member. With any luck, they'd get back to Skyhold without anything falling off. She could put it back on, but still...

This was definitely not how she had seen the mission ending. But at least she had gotten something interesting out of it. Maybe she could use her friend in the library once she got him down to clean bone...

Yep... she was definitely one of those weird necromancers now. Oh well.

#ramblinganthropologist's writing #Aeronwen Trevelyan

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Smiler Alton’s Day Off

And now, for another edition of “Me Vs. My Brain:”

Me: [asks my friend Nebby for some ideas about what she would like for her birthday fic this year]

Nebby: [gives me a few different options, including one where Marty McFly and Alice kidnap Victor and Victoria from their school in a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off-kinda way]

My Brain: [looking at that particular idea and its source inspiration] Yeah, no, that’s actually a Valicer AU.

Me:

My Brain: Hey, give me points for it being based on something you’re familiar with!

Me: ONE POINT. ONE POINT FOR AN AU BASED OFF A MOVIE I SAW ONCE AGES AGO.

So, yeah, now I have a Valicer Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AU kicking around in my head refusing to pay rent. -.- There’s not that much to it yet, but I do have a few basics:

-->As you might guess from the title, Smiler is Ferris in this AU -- Victor, of course, is Cameron, and Alice is Sloane (though she isn’t actually dating Smiler in this verse, they’re just friends). Rita is Jeannie Bueller, with Thirteen being Charlie Sheen’s druggie character (named Garth in the original script, I believe). Wickerman is of course Dean of Students Ed Rooney, and Nemesis would be the Bueller’s dog. I’m a little stuck as to where I could fit in Oblivion and Galactica though...I guess the best options would be either be the parents (Tom and Katie Bueller) or the two valets who take the Ferrari out for a joy ride? Though now that I’ve written that, I’m leaning toward the parents, as I’ve seen Galactica as the “Mom Friend” of the group for a while now...

-->The rough plot of the movie (Smiler faking sick, then getting their best friends Victor and Alice out of school to come with them on an adventure through the nearby city) is about the same, but part of the reason for the day out in this world is Smiler trying to get Victor and Alice officially together, having cottoned on that they have feelings for each other but are stuck in a “mutual pining” loop due to their various self-esteem problems. Smiler themselves has a crush on Victor, but just wants their beloved to be happy and figures that’s best accomplished by pushing them toward Alice. Victor and Alice DO end up confessing to each other (see below)...but after Smiler rescues Victor during the pool scene, Victor also kisses Smiler, because he too has a thing for them, and Alice laughingly tells the shocked Smiler that she noticed their crush and made it clear to Victor she didn’t mind sharing. Cue formation of V polycule and Smiler declaring this the “best day out ever.” :)

-->Really, a lot of this AU is based on the fact that I could totally see Smiler hopping on a parade float and singing “Danke Schoen” and “Twist and Shout” to the crowd. XD Though, having recently watched that scene on YouTube, I think in this AU’s version, Smiler would end up dragging Victor and Alice onto the float to dance with them, and this might be the prompt to get them to actually kiss, to Smiler’s delight. XD

-->Oh, and as for the restaurant scene -- Smiler HAS an elaborate plan to pretend to be whatever the AU’s equivalent of “The Sausage King of Chicago” is, and is ready to put it into action when they encounter the maitre’d...only for Victor to intervene and straight-up bribe the guy into giving them a table. XD Smiler is like “...I keep forgetting you can just do that.”

-->And for Rita’s subplot -- after encountering Wickerman in the Alton house, beating him up, and frightening him away, she does not call the police, as she’s very anti-authority -- instead, a neighbor calls the cops after seeing Wickerman running away from the house. The officer who comes by has the bad luck to encounter Rita right after she’s rejected the singing sexy nurse-o-gram, and Rita assumes they’re just another stripper and gets taken in for mouthing off to an officer (this does not make her feel any better about the police). This does lead to her meeting Thirteen, though, so not all bad! Result -- when she saves Smiler from Wickerman at the end, she lets Wickerman know that the only reason she’s not telling their parents about him being in their house is the date she’s got with the hot goth chick, but he’d better be real fuckin’ nice to her and her sibling from now on. (She also gets Smiler to agree to hack her grades, though rejects their offer of straight As, feeling it would be too suspicious -- “Just raise my two weakest subjects to Cs, that’ll be fine.”)

Further developments possibly to come -- we’ll see if my brain insists on keeping this one!

#valicer #smiler alton's day off #ferris bueller's day off #thanks for this one Nebby :p #seriously though I guess if I was gonna do a movie AU with the Valicer trio #this one makes the most sense #Smiler would make a good Ferris #and Victor a good Cameron #Alice isn't a perfect fit for Sloane but she'd still be fun in the role #and yeah I knew Wickerman had to be the Dean of Students #because of the Smiler/Wickerman rivalry #and Rita felt like the best fit for Jeannie #so the tough part was Oblivion and Galactica #do kind of like them as Smiler and Rita's parents though #maybe the two valets can be Bonejangles and Carpenter #to get some more CB and AMA/A:MR characters in here :p #...oh no this is becoming a Thing #maybe I should just rent and rewatch the whole movie #I've enjoyed the clips I've seen on YouTube #queued

[rozcdust]

She’s so mean

Pairing: Kokonoi Hajime x f!reader

Genre: Crack, SMAU

Word count: 800ish

Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, violence, noncon groping, the reader is tired and a bitch

Synopsis: Koko thinks she’s the best thing ever. She wants to put a boot through his teeth.

pt. 1 | previous | pt. 8 | next

A few very boring weeks have passed since that Saturday, but of course that any peace you get can’t last long, and you’re were an idiot for assuming it could.

Now you were trying to peacefully do your job, but Miya had other plans.

“So… Did you chat with Blondie?” Miya wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, giggling at your irritated face.

She was sitting on one of the bar chairs, her section of the restaurant being empty, so she chose to kill her time by bothering you.

“Fuck. Off.”

“Don’t be like that, y/n.” Whining as she sprawled across the bar, she grabbed your hand, forcing you to put down the glass you were cleaning and look at her.

“He’s hot.” She grinned, poking her tongue through her cheek.

Fake gagging, you lightly slapped her hand away from yourself, sticking your tongue out at her as she pouted.

“Ehem.” A voice interrupted your fun, causing Miya to freeze.

Daiki, the owner’s son, stood behind her, a fake polite smile on his face.

Miya quickly got up, bowing to him before getting away, shooting you an apologetic smile.

“May I help you?” You raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down. The flash of irritation appearing on his face brought incredible joy to your face.

“Actually-“ You raised a finger, shushing him as one of the waiters approached you to request a drink.

Making it for them, taking extra care to do so painfully slow, you handed the waiter the drink, ignoring Daiki’s glare.

Sighing, you finally turned towards him, a tight lipped smile on your face.

“Yes?”

“So now you can pay attention to me.” He said sarcastically, opening the small bar doors to walk behind it and lean on the counter.

Your eye twitched.

“What do you want?”

“Just wanted to watch your work ethic, y/n.” Smirking, he crossed his arms.

This night will not end well, you could feel it already in your bones.

“My work ethic is excellent, if you just wanted to learn how to actually work, you could have said so.” Tone sharp, you tried to turn away from him, the sight of his face disgusting you.

He grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him, only a few inches separating you.

He has always been nothing but a cocky, spoiled son of a bitch, interested in anything that moved, and you wished to do nothing but spit into his face.

“Let go.”

“I don’t think I will, you need to learn some respect.” He grinned, his other hand wrapping around your waist, slipping down enough to grope your ass.

This was your breaking point, and before you could even recollect yourself enough to reconsider the fact that pay was good, and you really needed this job, you smiled.

“C’mere.” Seductively pulling on his tie, you got him to leave the behind of the bar with you, and he followed you to the back like a lost dog.

“God, I never thought that’d work y/n! If I knew that was all it took, I would have done it sooner,” You could almost taste the smugness in his tone, “Where are we going though-“

“Shush. Here, baby, come outside.”

He followed you to the outside in the back, rubbing his arms together slightly as the chill of the November night hit him.

His eyes widened, face flushing as he saw you loosed your tie, unbuttoning the first few buttons on top.

“You are so h-“

He was interrupted by a fist smashing into his face.

You left your bloodied uniform and the resignation letter right on the owner’s desk on your way out.

“Y/n, darling, you're early. It is not even 10 p.m.”

You were a bit surprised to find one of the owners, an elderly woman pushing 70, behind the counter instead of the coworker you were supposed to be replacing.

“Yeah. got off at the restaurant early.”

“I can tell,” She stood up, making her way towards you with a handkerchief, “You forgot to wipe off some blood off your chin and brow. May I?”

You wordlessly nodded, letting her wet the handkerchief with a bit of water and wipe the now dry blood off your face.

It gave you a bit of whiplash to see the woman you frequently saw entering the back with a person and coming out with a huge trash bag be so gentle, but again.

It was never you in the trash bag, so you didn’t mind one bit.

“Wash your hands sweetheart, your knuckles are a mess.” She said, gently patting the side of your face before leaving the store.

You let out a sigh, dropping your things on the counter.

It will be a long night.

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