#i think this is how i cope with lucius dying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ourflagmeansgayrights · 7 months

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ok so like objectively yes ed did things wrong but not only do i personally feel no negative emotions about any of that, i swear it would make more sense tonally with the rest of the show to NOT make a huge chunk of s2 be about ed facing the consequences for and redeeming himself from the marooning/pushing lucius overboard/izzy toe thing. like if im wrong i’m wrong and it’s whatever but i really really think the focus will be more on ed’s internal emotional state and how his choices were informed by trauma and how he’s going to learn to heal more than it’s gonna be like, Ed Learns It’s Wrong To Maroon People And Force Feed People Their Own Toes. like if anything i think it’ll be Ed Learns That He Deserves To Be Happy And He Also Realizes That Marooning People And Force Feeding People Their Own Toes Is An Unhealthy Coping Skill That Negatively Affects His Mental Health And He Learns New, Healthier Coping Strategies. like i think the focus of coming out of the kraken era is going to be almost entirely on ed’s feelings, and any mention of how his actions harmed the rest of the cast will be brief and/or it’ll primarily be played for comedy

which yes irl this would kinda suck to have some guy respond to getting his heart broken (and other stuff) by killing and maiming people and then have his whole journey of self-discovery be solely abt him and not any of the people he’s hurt. HOWEVER a biiiiiig part of the humor of the show is that the characters are experiencing some very real and very relatable self-esteem issues and insecurities and vulnerabilities, and all of that is placed on a backdrop of comedically gratuitous pirate violence. like this is a romcom and ed is basically going through the classic emotional beats of the romcom heroine getting her heart broken and eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying in her room for days before becoming cold and distant and “love is dead” edgy, only the joke is that bc he’s a pirate his “love is dead” romcom era includes some people actually literally dying. izzy and the crew all just happen to be in the blast radius for this joke, and while we as fans might love and care abt those characters too, the plain fact is that ed and stede are the main characters and the other characters’s feelings or storylines or internal motivations simply do not matter nearly as much to the show as theirs (with the exception of maybe jim, and also maybe olu depending on how s2 goes). and that’s literally just how romcoms work. this sort of “protagonist bias” is like, a core part of this kind of story.

and there’s nothing wrong with not vibing with the story because of that. if season two comes and goes and you aren’t happy with how the show handled the consequences of ed’s actions in e10 that’s fine, nobody has to feel any specific way about this show. but if i’m right and this is how s2 plays out and some of y’all don’t like this, the problem is not that ofmd is bad. the problem is just that this is not the story you wanted or expected to be told.

i DO think, tho, that there’s something very powerful abt a character like this being a queer indigenous man. he’s a gay romcom protagonist and narratively speaking his feelings trump all. this is a queer romcom that uses gratuitous slapstick violence as a punchline and where the queer main characters are allowed to get violent and unhinged about their feelings, and at the end of the day they ultimately get a pass bc it’s a gay romcom and the show is about them. like literally that description itself is more than i could’ve ever dreamed of from any tv show ever, and THEN you’re telling me that one of the main characters is indigenous???? it’s been a year and a half and s2 is right around the corner and i swear to god i still can’t believe this show actually exists. we don’t GET shows like this, we don’t GET characters like this. ed teach is such a fucking blessing of a character and i love him with all my heart.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 #ofmd speculation #ofmd s2 speculation #edward teach #ed teach #edward teach born on a beach #s2 predictions #txt #meta #mine #og #this is why im unironically on team “ed did nothing wrong”#the show gives us very realistic depictions of emotional trauma #and slapstick looney toons depictions of physical trauma

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canonizzyhours · 1 month

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I cannot ship sprizzy bc it just completely ignores Pete. I know there’s a lot of “Izzy is recovering from years of poverty and childhood abuse” headcanon lifted right from Ed’s character, but “falling in love and calming down about toxic masculinity” is Pete’s initial storyline. Pete is a foil. He is hostile to Stede and “women’s work” at first, but very quickly gets over it. He’s funny, he’s cute, he’s sweet, and Lucius and Pete are the happiest couple on the show. I adore Stede and Ed but their attempts to figure out their relationship drives the plot of the show, so they have more conflict. Lucius and Pete are good. They marry because they are ready to marry and they both know it. It’s getting difficult to find any Izzy-focused fan works that don’t actively remove parts of canon that I like. I like Pete’s story. It’s not Izzy’s story. Izzy’s story is that over the course of his 60 years alive he has hurt everyone around him including himself by being an asshole and behaving like the Masculinity Police. He thinks that enforcing behavior that conforms to social norms of what a man should be is the correct thing to do, and he doesn’t realize how much he is wrong until he is dying. His story is a tragedy, not because he was victimized by others, but because he victimized himself.

He is a cautionary tale. His obsession with enforcing gender norms alienates him from everyone around him. He doesn’t realize this until the end of his life. That’s his tragedy. The majority of the show says it’s never too late to change and be happy, and Izzy’s role is the message that while it’s never too late, you have to actually accept others as they are in order to cope with reality and accept yourself as you are.

#331.

#ofmd #black pete #izzy hands #lucius spriggs #lupete #sprizzy #canonizzyhours

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treesofgreen · 2 years

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I've a theory that a not inconsequential part of Izzy's whole thing - the uncontrollable anger, his anxieties and blind spots, the broken, twisted mess that is his relationship with Edward, the pathological rejection of softness, the way he's wound so tight he's going to collapse like a dying star and take everyone in his radius with him - is a result of ongoing sexual abuse/rape he experienced in his youth, homophobia directed towards him, an inability to process the trauma, and his terrible coping mechanisms and piss poor attempts to self-medicate.

I've seen this angle dotting the fanfic landscape (more and more, which as a survivor of sexual violence I find...comforting? in an odd way) but I haven't seen it discussed here, outside of this insightful post by @mirkwoodest There are a good number of fans who believe Izzy wasn't always Like This and used to be softer and more open, but again, I haven't really seen a discussion of the why (if I missed your meta, please @ me).

There's something else in Izzy's anger at Lucius, something that doesn't speak to "gay and homophobic" so much as it does a "cycle of abuse". To Izzy wanting to hurt Lucius in a way he was hurt (which is also self-harm, so a win-win for Izzy) but he's not very good at it and it comes out all awkward and cringe and nonsensical because he is actually gay and he knows it and he isn't ashamed of it so much as it's no one's fucking business; and he's not homophobic in the sense we mean it when making our "all problems would be solved if Izzy got dicked down and realized he likes it" jokes. He knows he likes it. That isn't the problem. It's a lot deeper and a lot messier than that.

Izzy is afraid, on a level he probably never, ever consciously thinks about, of what being viewed as a "proper little seductress" can lead to for the "seductress". In a warped way he's looking out for Lucius, tearing him down before someone else does a more thorough job of it - which is horrible and unacceptable! To be clear! It's bullying and victim blaming and isn't going to help anything at all except there's a wounded part of Izzy's brain that feels compelled to start wounding someone else. Izzy's harm to others is never justified.

Izzy is already completely out of his element on the Revenge, he hates this fucker Bonnet, Edward fucked off to a fancy party with Bonnet, he's faced with this, he can't even bully this mouthy bitch properly because he's tripping over his own trauma and he can't stop the words coming out of his mouth, and then Lucius lays the "we don't own each other" line on him and it takes him out not because Edward owns him or Izzy thinks he owns Edward (he does think so, in a way, but again, it's messier) but Edward's ownership is the thing that makes having been owned by someone else, someone horrible, something he can live with. His loyalty to Edward, Edward's loyalty to him - it's what makes him able to repress enough of his past and enough of his pain to function.

As someone who did everything she was supposed to while silently suffocating, not knowing who I was other than 'wrong' until long after most people have figured it out, Stede speaks to me. I see myself in his low self-worth and his awkwardness and need to please and his guilt and the feeling of having ruined everyone you touch and always feeling like you made the wrong decision.

I see myself in Ed with the trauma of his childhood - the poverty, the alcoholism, the violence and the mother who tells you we're here to suffer and means it as a comfort. The need to run away, to want, to be someone else other than the dark thing you know you are deep inside (and it is you no matter how much you wish it weren't, it's the thing your father gave you and it's yours now and you can't let it go, not in a real, lasting sense, until you acknowledge it as yours. Only then can you let it go, which is something your father was never able to do).

I see myself in Ed's dramatic mood swings and his temper and delight and need to be liked, in his chameleon-like nature and adhd and depression, in his fear of rejection and of being "too sensitive". In the way we feel like we're healing again and again only for others to tear through us so effortlessly, almost unthinkingly, certainly they weren't expecting us to fall apart like that, can't you ever be normal and you really thought you had it this time, you really thought you were stronger but you're not. Not in any real, lasting sense.

When look at Izzy I think of Hurricane by Mary Oliver. You know:

It didn't behave

like anything you had

ever imagined. The wind

tore at the trees, the rain

fell for days slant and hard.

The back of the hand

to everything. I watched

the trees bow and their leaves fall

and crawl back into the earth.

As though, that was that.

This was one hurricane

I lived through, the other one

was of a different sort, and

lasted longer. Then

I felt my own leaves giving up and

falling. The back of the hand to everything.

I'm in a good place now, as good a place as I've ever been, but in thinking about young Izzy I see my younger self and my responses to sexual trauma, and in looking at Izzy now I see what I would now be if I hadn't gotten the help I did. Closed off and anxious and awkward and unbearably angry. Unsettled and binding myself tighter and tighter to calm that yet unable to stop lashing out. Clingy to the point of separation anxiety with the very few people I did trust. Almost always unable to acknowledge what actually happened because these things happen, it was no big deal, it was nothing actually, it was probably my fault anyway, it was rape but I deserved it but I'm going to murder anyone that says I did.

I'm probably going to make a separate post about specific headcanons, both for Izzy and Izzy & Edward and how they've been both the best and the worst thing for each other through the years, because this is getting too long and rambling. But I think that young Izzy had softness, once, love, even, and was punished severely/hate crimed for it (my best guess is in the navy, which led to him leaving). I think after he turned to piracy he was the "favorite" of someone with more authority and it was abuse and he knew it but couldn't fight it or acknowledge it, and so he just kind of went with it, closing off more and more of himself. (Please note that I'm not saying anything about his masochism here).

And then there was Edward - who was his friend, who was brilliant and brave and strong in ways Izzy wasn't, who saw something brilliant and brave and strong in Izzy and held onto him and Izzy has been holding on to Edward ever since and he can't let go, even when Edward has let go, even if it's going to drown them both. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know, at this point, that it's even an option, he's so deep in the dark water, in the rot. But I have hope he can be shown, because this is the way Hurricane ends:

But listen now to what happened

to the actual trees;

toward the end of that summer they

pushed new leaves from their stubbed limbs.

It was the wrong season, yes,

but they couldn't stop. They

looked like telephone poles and didn't

care. And after the leaves came

blossoms. For some things

there are no wrong seasons.

Which is what I dream of for me.

#izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd #trauma #lucius spriggs #edward teach #i hope this is coherent my brain is not

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silvyavan · 1 year

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I finally fucken read the scanlations of the chapter and imma be real with yall, Tabata fumbled this immensely.

Allow me to explain.

All things considered, Jack's "death"* feels incredibly bland, not just how it's handled but also how it affects his character and the overall theme Black Clover has.

*(Tabata has a trend of coping out deaths, so I'm hoping this is a red herring to sort of divert our attention from probably the fact that Yuno's spell won't hold on forever, so we're, ironically, on a race against time. This also may be a sort of Fuegoleon situation, considering we haven't seen the Earth Spirit/Gnome yet, so considering Jack's blade magic is a sort of "final" earth form (earth>> ore>> metal>> weapon>> blade) but maybe that's just me on copium. We Shall See)

With his character, the death feels kinda bland and showy. Tabata's main good ability in writing characters is by putting a different spin on them or flipping the tropes. In Jack's case, he's supposedly the bloodthirsty battle maniac trope, with his complicated and restrictive home life actually being a reason for his carefree battle attitude. The PROBLEM here is that Tabata put too little time in his development/roster, not really enough of his own thoughts, and the last slash ends up being less of a "I choose how I will die, and I'll die swinging" and more of "all I can think about is slashing and that's what I'll do dying", which completely fucks up the whole character.

Jack is, as we know it, the ONLY Clover born commoner captain. Everyone else is either nobility or immigrants with ridiculous magic (Yami may have been technically considered nobility but his foreign status is more important to his character, we have so little info on Dorothy's life I'm not even gonna speculate). By all sense and means, Jack was likely the only captain who even accepted commoners and peasants with average skills. One could argue he was probably the first commoner captain, considering Zara was the first peasant magic knight, only about 20+ years ago.

This, coupled with Jack's very vague character writing, shows that Tabata didn't really know HOW to write him in an interesting/meaningful way. So he essentially kills him off because he doesn't know what to do with him.

This falls back into how the death itself is contradictory to the themes BC has. The theme Black Clover has, by essence, is that "peasants/those weren't born lucky or talented can strive to reach great, if not greater, heights as those above them using hard work and determination" as well as "the class system affects everything, and by being inherently bigoted, it infects every other system in regards to it". The problem here is with Tabata's writing falling into "tell not show" categories (whether its because of page limits, editor influence or other things), by trying to show both themes at the same time, he ends up punishing the underdogs MORE than those who are inherently privileged (nobles with lots of mana), if not actively rewarding them.

This could be attributed to either how much time Tabata spends on other characters vs those he ignores or how very few of the cast with ACTIVE roles in the story belong to the middle/lower class.

For example, Yuno's abilities and powerups in Spade arc and this current one FEEL like asspulls, mostly because despite being one of the main trio, we're not given a lot of time to SEE how he gets it/develops it. If we had previously seen a montage of him training to develop his skills in the 3 day period before the raids and the 3 days before Lucius comes knocking or even the 1.5 YEAR TIMESKIP, a LOT of the complaints about it being an asspull would be null because we'd actually see the work being put into it.

The opposite can be said for Jack. Jack falls into essentially the same category as Asta and Magna - people of lower classes that have to work harder than those above them to reach the same heights, but by putting more effort into it, the underdog status triumphs over the naturally gifted.

This could be seen all the way back in Spade arc, with Jack developing skills mid battle to face off/stall Dante, then being the one to silently kill him off to not sour the victory Magna got. Its GOOD that it was Jack who assisted in the kill because he was of the lower class like Magna and Zora and Asta. In addition, keeping silent about it doesn't sour the victory either because Jack likely knows the feeling of having hard earned kills being stolen.

Even the contribution against Lucifero is, even if minor, still valued because he's not the only one who got beat up, ALL of the captains got smacked up to show the threat Lucifero was.

The problem in character writing falls in this recent chapter, with Jack being the first fatality.

One could say that Lucius is being inherently bigoted in his own way - he's born of a noble lineage, all of the paladins are of nobility as well and its implied that the legless angels, who were described as "rebels" were actually peasants. Its a good choice, considering that Lucius is supposed to be the almost last antagonist, so he essentially HAS to show that he's a bit of a racist to uphold the themes of the story. He's both the Puritan and Calvinist wave in Christianity, while also claiming that those born with less mana are inherently more weak and should be erased and "rebuilt" to have the same amount of magic as everyone.

The problem in it is that not only does it undermine a lot of the peasants/commoners who actively got merit through hard work, it's also giving eugenics and the Christian idea that you "deserve" flaws that you were born with/can't control and thus further pushing classist/racist ideology. Lucius is still commiting genocide against the lower class and still is falling into the idea that "once everyone has the same amount of large mana, there will be no wars :)", indirectly blaming the lower class for disparities done by the upper class.

However, with his attack on Clover by fighting against those struggling to still live, would clash with the peasant/commoner ideology that no amount of effort gone into bettering yourself is wasted. All effort to become better is still valuable and Clover Kingdom fighting against the sentries/paladins/Lucius would SHOW that.

The problem is that Jack dying is not helping the idea or the narrative. Even the final slash only so much as leaves a massive canyon in the ground and kills off maybe 2 or 3 sentries, while Morgan is "miraculously" still without a scratch. Its equal parts infuriating and makes Jack's death feel for naught. Even the final regret of not being able to slash Yami only makes him fall more into a 2 dimensional character trope. It ends up with Tabata actively punishing the underdogs and trying to get rid of the characters who he's SUPPOSED to be able to write, as per the story.

Unless the final massive slash somehow does something to either turn the tides/bring Asta home/hell, even just getting him a spirit/demon contract, it falls flat for the narrative and doesn't progress his character.

So far there's no ACTIVE show that Jack is completely dead and done for outside of a forth of his grimoire already disappearing, so maybe there's still some last minute death save for him. I hope, because otherwise, Justice 4 Jack.

#black clover #black clover manga #black clover spoilers #jack the ripper #black clover jack #jack black clover #as you can see im passionate about beloved stickman surviving #cmon tabata let our trans commoner hustle king live

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dragonmuse · 2 years

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So I obviously adore your little universe and reread it constantly. Honestly almost love it more than the show.

Can I ask how Izzy and/or Pete would cope with a hurt or sick Lucius? The little glimpses of Izzy calling in Ed when Spanish Jackie arrived and Pete coordinating a midnight move are so lovely.

(oh wow, thank you so much anon! You can certainly have some of the boys coping with Lucius being under the weather. CW: mentions of vomit)

Pete lifted up the edge of the comforter. “Still alive, babe?”

“No,” Lucius groaned. “Leave me here to perish.”

“That bad?”

“I hate throwing up so much.”

“You want me to get you some ginger ale or something? Saltines maybe?”

“Ginger ale sounds okay,” Lucius conceded. “But we don’t have any.”

“I’ll go to the shop.”

“Yeah okay. Get me some really gossipy crappy magazine too? I can’t do a book right now, but I need to read something or I’m gonna die of boredom AND food poisoning.”

Pete leaned down to kiss his sweaty forehead. Whatever had done Lucius in had done a number on him. But if he was well enough to complain, he was going to be fine.

“I’ll be back in ten.”

It was only six, but it was dusky and quiet outside. Pete had been in the twilight haze of taking care of Lucius and working on the dress Shelia Kissimee had commissioned from them. Frenchie was doing the bead-work and John was handling the embroidery, so Pete had taken on the construction and it was a real time suck. Luckily, Lucius had mostly been sleeping between bouts of hurling, so he’d gotten a lot done.

“Hey, Pete,” Olive greeted as he came in. She was loading in the scratch off lotto tickets.

“Hey.” He headed for the fridge, pulling out two ginger ales and after a moment’s thought, a coke. He could let it go flat and give it to Lucius tomorrow, so he wouldn’t get a caffeine withdrawal headache. “Do you have saltines?”

“Sure, next to the cheese-its!” Olive called.

He located a sleeve of them and headed towards the register, picking up the magazine with the biggest loudest font on the cover. There was a little display, leftover from Valentine’s day probably. He considered it, grinned, and plucked up an item.

“Someone sick?” She asked, ringing everything up.

“Luc got downed by a hot dog. We think anyway.”

“Too bad. Tell him my niece loved that book he left for her. And that I hope he feels better.”

“Will do.”

By the time he got home, John and Frenchie were back. They’d taken a drag brunch gig across town and were currently helping each other out of their costumes.

“How’s the patient?” Frenchie asked wryly.

“Dying!” Lucius called from their bedroom. “Thanks for asking!”

“So better?” Frenchie determined.

“Little bit,” Pete agreed. He went into their room and put everything on the nightstand. “Got you something.”

“Trashy magazine?”

“That too.”

The blanket was pulled back. Lucius pulled himself up to sitting. He was barechested and flushed. It was a good look on him, but probably not the right moment to mention it.

“Here.” Pete presented him with the little stuffed bear. It was holding a red heart that said ‘I love you bear-y much’.

Lucius plucked it from him with two fingers like it might be another bad piece of meat.

“Why?” He asked flatly.

“When I felt crappy as a kid, I always wanted to have a stuffed animal with me,” Pete shrugged.

“I’m not a kid,” Lucius said firmly.

“I’m aware, babe,” Pete laughed. “I can take it back if you don’t want it.”

“No,” Lucius clutched it closer. “I like it. Thank you.”

Pete’s phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket.

“Did you maybe forget to tell Izzy you were too sick to come over?”

“Oh shit. I ost track of the days.” Lucius’ eyes slipped closed. “And I don’t even know where my phone is.”

Pete picked up, “Hey, Izzy. Lucius is fine. Well not fine fine, he got food poisoning.”

“What’d he eat?” Izzy snapped, apparently too peeved for pleasantries. Pete started searching the room for Lucius’ phone.

“Hot dog from a new street vendor.” He located it under clothes that had been hastily shed that morning after the first round. Dead. “His phone battery died.”

“Along with his common sense, apparently.”

“You want to talk to him?”

“Yes.”

Pete handed his phone over to Lucius, who gripped it.

“Sorry, goblin,” he sing-songed in the way he did when he was trying to hide that he was actually worried someone wouldn’t accept the apology. “It looked legit, what can I say? Trust me, I’ve already paid for it. Oh. No. I mean Pete’s got me- yeah. Uh huh. No, there’s soda and crackers and I’ve got a stuffed bear, I’m good. No...I..oh.”

Pete glanced over and Lucius was resting his chin on the bear’s head, a faint smile on his face. “I’ll miss you too. Don’t stay up too late. Eat something sweet. You never have enough dessert, it matters. And I can’t have one, so someone should.”

Pete half-assedly tidied up their space, turning over clothes to discover bits of the dress fabric he'd been working with. Maybe he needed a break.

“He wants to talk to you,” Lucius held the phone out after another minute and Pete took it.

“All good?”

“You’ll tell me if I can-” Izzy started then stopped. “Just let me know how he is tomorrow.”

Lucius was already picking up his magazine, yawning as he flipped it open.

“I’ll text,” Pete assured him and then stepped out into the main room. “You know you can come by if you want. No one’s checking ids at the door.”

“No,” Izzy said quickly. He was weird about coming here, Pete couldn’t figure it. He liked Izzy’s place well enough. “That’s fine. You’re taking care of him.”

“When he’s sick he likes hot and sour soup.” Pete took mercy on him. “I just get it from the local place, but if you made it... you know how he is. He’d fucking love that.”

Izzy hesitated then exhaled, “I’ll look up a recipe. And I’ll come by for lunch, maybe.”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“Don’t you fucking dare. What is wrong with all of you?”

That debate took up another few minutes. By the time Pete had gotten dinner together for himself and eaten it out of Lucius’ smelling range, just in case, it was full dark out. When he came back into their room, Lucius was curled around a pillow, letting the tv quietly tell him about the life of meerkats.

“You okay for company?”

Lucius just reached for him and Pete got into bed. He stroked Lucius’ hair, which was not in the best shape it had ever been.

“Love you,” Lucius mumbled, eyes half-lidded.

“Love you too,” Pete smiled down at him.

The bear had been set on Lucius’ nightstand, pleasantly crowded in with the books. He stayed there too. He oversaw Izzy’s awkward, but heartfelt visit. He stayed the next day and the next. He stayed until Lucius being sick was a barely remembered blip. He presided over that table for a long time to come.

#leda house and the kraken verse #goblin king and the pup #and pete!#prompt fill

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froggie-recs-fics · 2 years

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HELLO can i have drarry enemies to lovers fic recs 🤌 preferably not too angsty and maybe while they’re still in hogwarts!!! ty!! - jae 🤍

Of course my darling

I've split this up between Hogwarts-era and 8th-year era (and some post-War era fics that I included just because I love them so much)

** means its one of my all-time favorite fics :)

Hogwarts-Era

Timeshare by astolat @astolat (M, CNTW, 14K, Forced Bonding)

“It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”

“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said, because he hadn’t just spent the last week contemplating just how much more horrible his summer holidays were about to be than they’d ever been before.

**And I Know the Spark by firethesound @firethesound (E, Violence, 15K, Angst, Secret Relationship)

Review here

All Draco cares about is keeping Potter alive, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

I know you said no angst but I'm going to ignore you just this once and rec this because it is *chefs kiss*

**Bond by AnnaFugazzi (M, 173K, Forced Bonding)

Review here

I started to write this before HBP came out, and crossed my fingers that HBP wouldn't make it totally non-canon. No such luck, I'm afraid. This, therefore, is an AU story, where (SPOILER) still teaches (SPOILER), (SPOILER) didn't try to (SPOILER), (SPOILER) didn't succeed in (SPOILER), (SPOILER) never dated (SPOILER), and most importantly, (MAJOR ENDING SPOILERS) never happened.

Hee. I think I had a little too much fun writing the above ;)

So this starts around the end of September of an AU seventh year. I was also assuming that Lucius Malfoy wouldn't be in prison very long, what with his various connections with influential people, so he's here too.

8th-Year

Something I Don't Want to Stop by traintracks (E, 16K)

It's Harry and Draco's eighth year, the Houses have been all but demolished in favor of unity, and they're being forced to room together. How ever will they cope?

It takes 36 Questions to fall in love. by gnarf @gnarf (E, 14K)

After returning to Hogwarts for their 8th year, Harry and Draco can't seem to stop fighting, much to the irritation of staff and students alike. Their last fight escalated and Harry and Draco are forced to room together by a pretty angry Headmistress. They will have to stay in their new quarters until they overcome their differences.

But it wouldn’t be McGonagall if she didn’t have a plan. To help them achieve this goal (and to save everyone else from going crazy because of them) she gave them a charmed parchment that will ask a series of personal questions.

Over the next couple of days they'll learn much more about each other than they could ever have imagined.

**Hungry by birdsofshore (M, 24K, Forced Bonding)

Review here

The first thing Harry knew about it was when he woke up lying on a bed in the hospital wing, with his arm firmly stuck to the scrawny, milk-white arm of Draco bloody Malfoy.

I Feel You (M, CNTW, 23K)

Harry and Draco take a potion that is supposed to link their hearts together, but end up connecting a different type of organ entirely.

**Lumos by birdsofshore (E, 41K, forced proximity)

Review here

Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.

**Mental by sara_holmes @captn-sara-holmes (M, 186K, forced bonding, legilimency)

Review here

Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.

Golden Age by zeitgeistic @lol-zeitgeistic (M, 52K, Re-sorting, Magic Lore)

The Celtic druids once made a decision that kept magic in abundance in Britannia, but they couldn’t account for the technological advances Muggles would make centuries later. Now magic is dying on the isles, and this is not a dark lord that Harry can fight. OR: Harry Potter doesn’t save the world this time, but he does get a lot of hugs.

The one where all of the 7th and 8th years are re-sorted and this fic becomes a love song to Hufflepuff.

Strange Bathfellows by bixgirl1 @bixgirl1 (E, 27K, Forced proximity)

It started with a bath. Or a potions accident. Or maybe it started before that, but who can tell anymore.

Featuring: Uncomfortable wanking, more comfortable wanking, mutual wanking, bath sharing, inappropriate betting, secret shagging, those secrets at Hogwarts that everyone knows, and oblivious Harry who knows one thing: he's falling in love.

**Dwelling by aideomai (T, 83K)

Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it's not called the Mirror of Erised doesn't mean you shouldn't know better.

Holy shit this fic is amazing and it fucked me up I was virtually catatonic after reading it please read it right away

Post-War

**Waiting By An Open Door by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe) (E, 29K)

Review here

Draco starts following Potterwatch secretly during the War. He wishes Potter would come save him too. But that sort of thing only happens in fairy tales, and Malfoys don't get fairy tale endings, do they?

**Nero su bianco by zuzallove @zuzallove (E, 40K, slow burn, epistolary)

Review here

September 1997. Hogwarts is under the regime of Voldemort and the Carrows. Finding himself alienated by both his friends and his supposed enemies, Draco puts quill to parchment, and writes letters. He addresses them to the only person he can think of, as Hogwarts rapidly falls into chaos and ruin: Harry Potter. He goes to great lengths to ensure the letters are never discovered, and he’s pretty certain he’s done a great job. Until the day of his trial.

**Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E, 70K, Time Loop, Coming Out)

Review here

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

#drarry #drarry fic rec #enemies to lovers #8th year #epilogue what epilogue #forced bonding #secret relationship #forced proximity #slow burn #epistolary #time loop #coming out #jae 🤍

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ectonurites · 3 years

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for the character headcanons ask, tim or steph

i ended up doing both LMAO

so for Tim:

 A (realistic headcanon): i will stand by this being realistic but TIM CONTINUING TO SKATEBOARD! like okay yes in canon he only used redboard like twice, and once he had his car back he didn’t really rely on it, but he put the time into learning how to and really enjoyed it! i think it would be fun to see him do it more and like i think steph could also skate with him (altho honestly she has more roller skate energy to me but they could still hang out at a skatepark together) i also have this idea for a fic im at some point going to write of Damian finding redboard and Tim being like ‘oh i can show u how to use that-‘ and him being like ‘NO i will do it on my own’ but eventually it becomes a whole bonding thing for them

B (hilarious): other people joke about this a lot but Tim skateboarding around Wayne Enterprises will NEVER cease to amuse me. just the general chaos of a seventeen year old in a power position like that. I think like Lucius and Tam would keep record of stupid shit he does (skateboarding in the office, Interesting fashion choices, the mountain of mugs and takeout containers that build on his desk, his use of glitter gel pens on official documents, threats to pull a seto kaiba and make WE’s primary goals be trading card related, etc) and make a lil scrapbook to give him on his 21st birthday or something when he’s like Slightly More of an adult

C (heart-crushing): Young Justice being Tim’s first friends he can feel real around that he doesn’t think are going to just be temporary. like... i’ve done a lot of rambling about Tim and again we know he’s a kid who grew up going from boarding school to boarding school, he could make friends easily enough but they were very... fleeting. they weren’t meant to last and he went into it knowing that. even though at the start of the group he couldn’t tell them everything, I feel like Young Justice were just the people he eventually was able to be himself the most around, since he didn’t need to hide being Robin. (again him needing to hide being Tim for a while definitely created some distance, but it was very different than hiding the whole hero life from people he knew at home and at school) and then ya know the core four group moving onto the titans together further solidifying this sense of ‘we are a group who can get through stuff together’... until it all falls the fuck apart after Kon dies. and Tim & Cassie have their weird bad coping things. and Bart dies. i think for Tim it would just be so crushing to have the first group he was able to consider being more permanent fall apart like that (not to mention his dad and steph dying around the same time on top of it- being two of the other types of relationships [familial and a romantic partner] that had more permanence to him) and even when people come back and bonds heal, that sense of stability would just forever be shattered, he lost them once and knows that it could happen again and that fear would always be there in the back of his mind

D (canon is a coward and won’t): that he is bisexual LMAO

aaand now Steph

A (realistic headcanon): alright this is kinda canon related but okay. we have seen MULTIPLE alternate versions of Steph with really short hair (future state, that time she imagined herself as nightwing, earth-3) so i really feel like by current-ish canon she’s already thinking about chopping her hair off, like it’s one of those ideas that just every now and then she’ll see someone with super short hair and be like oh... i want that... but never really go through with it (like she’s had some kinda short looks preboot but i think the shortest was like a bob. im talking pixie cut here) and like im imagining maybe after some mission her hair gets caught on something or even burned or idk and she just says fuck it and her, Cass and Tim get back to one of their apartments/a safehouse after patrol and cut her hair in the bathroom at like 4am (yes im aware i place many situations in the middle of the night in the bathroom with friends... [like that timkon fic i wrote a bit ago] its just such a special setting okay) like Cass with the scissors Tim’s holding up a reference pic Steph found on pinterest. it looks great once it’s done

B (hilarious): the eggplant vs purple thing. i think that now in this post death metal world of dc, where everyone’s remembering things from before the reboot, steph should have a small mental breakdown about how she betrayed her old self by rallying behind the color purple (‘enemy of crime and people who hate purple!’) vs how she used to be so insistent her color scheme was eggplant (‘its eggplant. purple would look stupid’). everyone else is having their brains break because of like conflicting memories of their traumas (and she’s got that goin on too, dont get me wrong, she’ll get to freaking out about that later) but steph is just sitting there staring at a color wheel trying not to cry

C (heart-crushing): i’ve seen some fics explore this a little but i think she’d end up doing a lot of thinking about her baby that she gave up for adoption. like that was something she experienced so young and i feel that would just always be a lurking thought in her mind, where is the baby? is she happy? gotham’s a dangerous city, there’s a lot to be afraid about there. Not that she wouldn’t already because she is just a caring big sister type of person, but I think Steph looking out for all the kids in Gotham (especially once she’s batgirl) in some small part could tie back to wanting to make sure her kid is safe out there wherever she ended up. (additionally since she had a rough upbringing with her whole dad situation she just especially is protective over kids anyways. Sometimes I think she might get kinda insecure about it… maybe even question herself about why she’s saving people, is it because she genuinely cares or is it something more selfish? it’s definitely a self doubt i could see manifesting)

D (canon is a coward and won’t) not to be repetitive but also that she is bi i will stand by this

#stephanie brown #tim drake #dc comics #batfam #sam writes

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justgotham · 7 years

Link

Fox's Gotham returns Thursday for its fourth season, bringing the city a would-be Batman in the guise of young Bruce Wayne taking on a vigilante mantle and testing his skills thus far against crime. At just 16-years-old, actor David Mazouz is the youngest actor to take Bruce in this direction and the young crimefighter will learn some hard lessons this season.

Armed with a protosuit and eventually getting some gadgets in his arsenal, Bruce is out to take on Gotham’s biggest criminals, including the newly-debuted Scarecrow.

Newsarama had the chance to catch up with Mazouz, on his way to school no less, about what lies ahead for young Bruce Wayne in the upcoming season from his relationship with Selina Kyle and the biggest challenge.

Newsarama: So, David, you have this proto-bat suit this season of Gotham. What was it like suiting up for the first time?

David Mazouz: It was really, really exciting getting fitted for that. At the end of last season, Bruce was just in a flowing overcoat and even in that was really cool. Then as you’ve seen in the promos, he gets this leather jacket and custom-made mask so when I put that on - I must have been fitted six times - it was just so excited and fits so perfectly. It was a great feeling and great moment.

Nrama: Can you explain the logistics of the suit?

Mazouz: Oh my God, it’s boiling, especially during summer in New York. But I kept reminding myself as I was dying and thinking of freezing baths, that I will be thankful for that in a few months when it’s cold as it has so many layers to it.

Nrama: Are there any bat gadgets this season as well?

Mazouz: Yes, there are. We have some proto-grappling hooks and some other things that Lucius Fox will provide for this journey. I think in the latter part of the season Bruce is really going to start to develop his alliances and his enemies in this new vigilante persona of his.

Nrama: How does the GCPD react to this new vigilante?

Mazouz: Gordon is not going to like this new vigilante and Bruce is going to be investigating Gordon as well. Gordon is going to make some decisions that Bruce will find out and he’s not going to like him so much. All the meanwhile, Gordon is climbing up the ranks in the GCPD and he’s not going to like this vigilante running around.

Nrama: Will you be altering your voice a la the movies?

Mazouz: For now, the initial answer is yes. I don’t know the extent of what they’ll do. We’ve done a lot of different versions of voice alterations and I’m very curious in what they pick.

Nrama: Selina and Bruce had this moment in their relationship last season that essentially saw them break apart with her taking steps in her destiny as well. Where are Bruce and Selina headed this season?

Mazouz: Yeah so Selina and Bruce are tearing apart and that’s largely because Bruce had this huge conflict where he had to choose between caring for Selina and his destiny and he chose the latter.

That was kind of the final nail in the coffin, but that being said just because their relationship is over, doesn’t mean that her proto-Catwoman and Bruce’s vigilante won’t have a relationship of their own.

Nrama: You guys are introducing Scarecrow this season. Will Bruce interact with him much or is that plot reserved for different characters?

Mazouz: Scarecrow affects everyone in Gotham. Bruce doesn’t necessarily take him on one on one, but is affected by what Scarecrow does with his fear toxin. What I’m actually really excited about is Bruce taking on Penguin in the first episode as his enemy. I was talking to John Stevens, who is one of our executive producers, and he had invited me to the writer’s room one time and asked me if there was anything I wanted to do and I said I’d love to have a scene with Robin because Bruce and Penguin haven’t had one scene together and we’ve never actually talked to each other. So last year we had a scene together and this year. So that relationship will be quite the adversarial one throughout season four.

Nrama: Lastly, what do you think Bruce’s biggest challenge will be this season?

Mazouz: About five episodes in, he does something he doesn’t think he could ever come back from and it will affect everything in his life. He will become a different person and go down a downward spiral. His coping mechanism is not at all healthy so we’re going to see him fall and his biggest challenge will see him pick himself back up.

#Gotham #Bruce Wayne #David Mazouz

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awkwardshortboy · 7 years

Text

Snape Headcanons

(I think this is a bit late for the appreciation month day, but I have exams so I forgot) 1) He enjoys classical music, ballets, operas, and musicals. This was looked down on in Cokeworth as it was seen as 'girly,' but the disapproval only made him love them more when he got to Hogwarts to separate himself from his muggle past. Being friends with the Malfoys meant he was more able to go and see these (as I imagine the old pure blood families like such music). 2) He went to university after Hogwarts to get a Master's in potions. I like to think of the idea of wizards going to muggle universities, undercover with their own departments that are kept relatively separate from their muggle peers, but the same institution. He was very talented and had connections, so maybe he went to some wizard-only college at Oxford or Cambridge, where he got his master's in three, instead of four years due to his sheer talent (he was definitely teaching after having left Hogwarts for 3 years, so he must have got his master's by then). Going to Oxbridge also make him start to see the error of his more bigoted views as, despite being at a wizard-only college, he meets some muggles who seem decent at uni. 3) Minerva McGonagall was his closest friend during his teaching years, but also the mother he never had as she took him under her wing and appreciated his intellect but saw his inexperience. Similarly she saw him as the son she never had once he started teaching as she helped him cope with his new situation. After he died she deeply regretted that he didn't share his feeling for Lily with her. 4) Charity Burbage was also a close friend. He didn't know her as long as Minerva, but they got on well and she was someone out of the war, so talking to her made her forget everything that was wrong, in fact he actually confessed his mission to kill Dumbledore to her, and she promised to never tell. She told him about how muggles had therapists, and used to joke that he should get one. When she died he took her advice and found a therapist who was married to a wizard and so knew about the wizarding world already so he didn't break the law. He was diagnosed with severe depression. 5) He wears uncharacteristically suavè clothes because he actually used to care about his appearance a little when he left Hogwarts, so he got himself some nice robes tailored to allow him to more easily fit in with Lucius' circle. After the war when he sunk into his depression, he just never bothered to change what he wore apart from getting new ones tailored every so often. 6) He speaks multiple languages (of which Latin in one) which he learnt in order to create spells. He was encouraged to continue learning to help him understand operas and to help him blend in when he travelled. He also plays piano and can often be found playing Mozart on a grand piano in his rooms to pass the time. 7) He spent a lot of the summer holidays in the '80s travelling Europe due to his interest in both muggle and wizarding history and art. 8) He's asexual/demiromantic and would prefer to have a fulfilling friendship to a romantic relationship as he fears that engaging in a romantic relationship once he starts to feel romantic attraction toward someone will make a break-up more likely, so he would never act on his romantic attractions on the rare occasion he may feel them. He's also had so few friends throughout his life that he doesn't actually know the difference between romantic and platonic attraction; to his dying day he wasn't sure whether he wanted a romantic, or simply and very strong platonic relationship with Lily. 9) He would never admit to to anyone, but he had a secret liking of Luna Lovevood as a student as she always managed to do reasonably well in potions - despite living on another planet 90% of the time - and would sometime leave him bouquets of strange flowers when she noticed he was feeling more down than normal. She also never forgot his birthday (he had no idea how she found out when it was). 10) The Slytherin students liked him so much as their head of house because his door was always open to them should they need help with anything. Even though he was hopeless as dealing with his own emotions, he would always try his best to help with his students' issues, and they appreciated his effort. @snapeloveposts

#severus snape #snape love posts #snape appreciation month #harry potter headcanon #minerva mcgonagall #lucius malfoy #luna lovegood #charity burbage #hogwarts #harry potter

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drarrylovebot-blog · 7 years

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I surrender

Warning: This one is long and doesn’t have a happy ending. I’m sorry, I’m going for sad or angsty but I don’t think I achieve both.

Prompt: I surrender everything to feel the chance to live again, I reach to you. A thousand dreams I still believe. I surrender my all to you. You let go.

“Harry James Potter, you are a downright sanctimonious git, you know that?” I can’t even say that to his face. I, Draco Lucius Malfoy, the ex Death Eater, the sole heir of the Malfoy family’s name, the one who survived living under the same roof with the Dark Lord himself, cannot say that sentence to Harry bloody Potter. Pathetic. I lock my suitcase and Apparate immediately from the Manor, having no intention to even glance back at this vile wretched place.

I served my sentence, you know, three years in Azkaban, with my verdict being reduced from 12 years only because the Saviour himself gave his piece of mind about my situation. My estranged father served 70 years, which he’ll outlive, I suspected. And my mother served only 5 years, again because of the Saviour’s statement. After three years, my life crumbled. I lived like a crippled man. I rarely feel hungry. I rarely sleep even though I feel tired every damn second of my life. I became a recluse for almost a year. I believe until now that if Pansy didn’t check on me on the third week of me being free, I won’t be here at all right now. Harry Potter forgave her action and the court didn’t sentence her for anything, but she’s on the Ministry’s probation to help rebuilding Hogwarts. After that she took one more year to finish her N.E.W.T and somehow passed with flying colours. On the third week after mw coming back to the Manor, she decided to check on me, found me on a not so promising condition, and devoted her time to help me. She made sure that I have food on my stomach everyday; she made sure I have a confidant; she even made sure that I have my old hair condition –each strand has to be as soft as silk. I owe her my life.

A year after that condition, I decided to stop being a crippled man. Mother would come home, so I put on weight, got back up on my feet, and gathered my wits to welcome her home. Mother won’t be the same after 5 years in a place as damned as Azkaban, I had to be strong, at least until she can got up on her feet. I put up a wall –not the old, arrogant, pretentious git façade; I find a job –small one at that, but I didn’t need the money, I need the distraction; I got out with Pansy, whom without me knowing had already befriended the Golden Trio; I made amends with people, but most importantly with myself. One year later, I had a stable income, I had befriended many people, whom supposed to hate me, I had brought Mother home.

I thought I had it all, but the fact was, fate hated my guts –I believe it still does. Eight months after coming home, Mother lied still on her bed while I wept disgracefully on her shoulder. I knew right then and there, I only had the strength to bury her; thus, I buried her body on the backyard of the Manor –muggle style.

Somehow news travelled to fast, but it was all too late, I had already became the old crippled man when my first visitor came knocking on the door.

This time the situation was worse. All the fight had left my body. I had no one else to fight for, didn’t I? The next week was blurred; I only can remember some bits here and there. Alcus, my house elf, found me the next morning passed out on my mother grave. The next time I woke up, Pansy was knocking on my door urgently, I didn’t let her come in. Alcus made sure I ate. I didn’t get up from bed. Alcus cleaned me using spell. I didn’t speak. I didn’t feel. I was calm, cold, and love to stare at my bedroom green wall.

After two weeks, I let people in. Pansy came. She was back on her mother mode. She would check on me, and then she would talk while I ignored her. It became a routine. After two months, Granger –no, it had become Weasley– also came. She would try to talk to me and draw a respond from me. She failed. She stopped becoming a routine after three weeks, but sometimes she still would come and check on me, told me stories, experiences, even gossips of the outside world. One day, Pansy stopped her long talks in the middle. And then she slapped me. That drew a respond from me.

“Oh, don’t you raise your eyebrow at me, you fucktard!” she yelled and got very angry with me, while her eyes kept dripping tears like a fountain. “Fuck you, Draco Malfoy! You don’t get to give a respond after ignoring me for almost three months. I took care of you once you came back from Azkaban for one damn year, and I know you just lost your mother, but you’re not the only one who is sad right now! Aunt Cissa was –and still is– the kindest person I had ever the pleasure of knowing, do you, Draco Malfoy, see me doing what you’re doing right now?! No! I come here to be your friend. I’m not saying that you have to forget and move on, I know people have their own way to cope, but this? This is not acceptable, Draco! You’ll die eventually if you keep this up! And I didn’t take care of you for a whole year only to watch you die in vain like this!” She yelled that last part and slapped me again before hugging my figure and crying helplessly. “Don’t do this to me, Draco… I can’t endure this –whatever this life is– without you.” She said softly. In that moment, I took some strength from my stiff body and channeled it to stroke her hair in a comforting motion. When she got out, she smiled at me, but she didn’t come back.

The next time I opened my eyes, a strangled sound escaped my throat. Harry Potter sat beside my bed. Potter? He only looked into my eyes. What are you doing here? Then he smiled. A breath got stuck on my throat.

“How are you? I’m here because, well I haven’t visited you for a long time, and I haven’t seen you either for awhile.” He shrugged. My brain could only conduct one thought. Pansy stop coming.

“Oh no!” Harry’s eyes widened comically. “No, she’s currently outside the country. Didn’t she tell you? Her boss asked her to take care of few things on their branch France.” I was the one who got surprised. Legilimens? That made him blushed and gave me a shy smile. “Well they said they couldn’t draw any respond from you, and they didn’t understand what you could possibly need, so I thought why not try to read your mind. I perfected that branch of magic, well at least enough for me to understand your mind, about three weeks ago.” The last one came out as a question. That’s rude, Potter. Don’t you learn that I’m quite good at Occlumency? I narrowed my eyes at him and put up a wall on my mind. That made him blushed harder, and he muttered an apology. But he stayed; he talked to me; and somehow stayed for dinner.

Harry James Potter didn’t stop appearing. Not even after Pansy came back. He kept arriving each and every morning and stayed until dinner. It became tiring because I had to put up a wall on my brain every single day, but Potter is persistent, and so did I. Checking on me become a routine for Potter and Pansy. Potter was in charge for me not dying, and Pansy was in charge for me being clean. I hated those arrangement, so then one day, I gathered my strength to get up from the bed. I started taking charge in my own life. Pansy was ecstatic when I was the one who opened the door for her. She stopped cleaning me, instead she started to make tea every morning and talked to me. I kept my mouth shut. Potter didn’t stop, in fact he kept appearing to cook the food for us to eat. The first time he did that, I was so surprised I let my wall down. You were the one who cooked?

“Who else is here, Draco? Of course, I cook.” He grinned at me. They’re delicious. I admit after not knowing what to response for a full minute. His grin became wider. “Thank you!” I put my wall back up. That night the both of us had dinner on the dining table.

That was my new routine. Pansy made tea. Pansy talked. Potter made food. We ate. Potter went home after I went to bed.

Five months after Mother’s death, I found myself sitting on my bed and Potter sat beside the bed. It was late, but for some unknown reason I ask the Golden Boy himself to accompany me. It was damn awkward as I didn’t know what to think and I hadn’t put down my Occlumency. He stayed silent.

Why are you here, Potter? Why do you keep reappearing? I ask.

“Just because.” He shrugged nonchalantly, like it was the most common thing people would do in their free time. Well, it might be common for friends, but we were arch enemies once.

It’s not good enough reason, Potter. I’m afraid I need to ask you to not come back.

“Why?”

Because I’m tired. I don’t want to keep putting up a magic wall on my mind whenever you come around.

“Then stop, Draco.” He says immediately. “Stop putting up a damn wall and let me in.” His voice had a tinge of hope.

I told you, it’s rude, Potter. Don’t you have any manner at all?

“Then start talking. Talk to me, Draco.” He said desperately. “It has been five months. You have got to start talking someday, might as well start now.”

I can’t.

“Why?” He snapped. I didn’t answer for the longest time, and he wait for a response.

Because I’m afraid once I open my mouth, I will start sobbing uncontrollably. I just have no more strength to let those emotions escape, Potter. I’m afraid once I let them out, I will reduce to nothing but pieces that can’t be rebuild. I’m already broken, but at least I’m collected.

This time he looked straight into my eyes. “I won’t let you fall and crumbled into dust, Draco. Let them out, I know you’re stronger than this. I’ll be here. I won’t go anywhere.” He promised. He promised with all his being, I can see the raw honesty in his green eyes. They’re beautiful –fierce and full of passion, and green, oh so green.

You know I’m a coward.

“You could be on probation with Pansy, rebuilding Hogwarts, taking your N.E.W.T the next year, you know you could, but you chose three years in Azkaban. That wasn’t cowardice. I knew you pulled yourself out of whatever state you were after Azkaban just so that your mother could lean on you when she wasn’t able to stand by herself. You’re not a coward, Draco. Don’t be one now, not when you’re not alone. I’ll be here.” In that moment my heart stuttered and some warmth seeped into my chest, hugging my ribs. Of course he’ll be here; he’s the hero of Wizarding World. He saved people that were his job. But for one second, I wanted to let myself believe that he would be here because he cared. He cared for Draco Malfoy, the ex Death Eater. Oh how I had wanted to just let myself be engulfed in the sea of green, to just let myself be saved by Potter because he is Harry Potter. Harry Potter who kept appearing in front of my door for five months. Harry Potter who cooked for me. Harry Potter who called me Draco just because. Harry Potter who cared of my well being that he asked me to let go.

So, I stopped thinking and surrendered myself. In that moment, I surrendered everything just to feel the chance to live again. Please take me as I surrendered my all to you, Harry Potter. Right here, right now, I trusted my entire well being into your arms.

“Save me, Harry.” That was the first sentence I had said for five months, and the only thing I said before I completely broke down. Harry kept his words. He stayed and didn’t let me fall. He spent the night hugging my broken form until I passed out from exhaustion. Harry was still there in the morning.

After that, I fell. Oh, I fell so deep I couldn’t even see the end of that hole. On Mother’s death first anniversary, I had already gathered my wits, but I was never in charge of my being since I surrendered to the green eyed boy. I was in control of my life for 19 months. I rebuilt my life. I got my job back. I was happy and warmth, oh I was in joy. I fell for him, definitely, absolutely, irrevocably, and irreversibly. Oh but I forgot what Father always say, happiness is ephemeral.

We celebrated our first anniversary as a couple in the Manor. Harry was in the back cooking what I assumed should be a divine dish for two. Suddenly an owl swooped down and dropped a letter in front of me before going back outside unto the storm. The letter’s envelop was not in a good condition, so I pulled the letter out before it also became wet and unreadable. I almost called out for Harry because the letter was obviously from Weasley, but the content caught my eyes, and it wasn’t like I was sniffing around, I just accidentally read it. That was the worse mistake I had made since Azkaban.

Oi mate! I owe you 50 galleons; I never thought you could pull it off up to a year anniversary, you persistent git! I can’t even imagine dealing with that pretentious blond git for two days. Let’s meet up two days from now, yeah? I’ll be back in London tomorrow night. –Ron.

A bet?

“Draco, could you choose the wine tonight?” Harry’s voice had sounded so distant. I felt so distant from my own body. “Draco?” I looked up because his voice had sounded much closer, but all I could see was blurry figure and lights. “Draco, what happened? What’s wrong?” his voice was panic, but I couldn’t answer him. “Draco, look at me, what’s wrong, talk to me?” I could feel his breath mixed with mine. His palms trapped my face and brushed the tears off my cheeks. It hurts again. After 19 months, it hurts all over again, but this time I could find my voice. It was heavily tinged with hurt. I hated this. I hated being vulnerable.

“I surrendered everything to feel the chance to live again, I reached to you. A thousand dreams I still believe. I surrender my all to you, Harry. I thought you said you’ll catch me when I fall, stupid me to believe you.”

“What are you talking about, Draco?” he seemed genuinely confuse. I detangled myself from him, and put the letter on his coffee table.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, it was for you, I have no intention on reading it, but the envelope was wet, so I pulled out the content. He wrote it on a card, I accidentally read it. I am so sorry.” With that, I Apparate myself to the Manor, and pack all my belongings. I’m done with fate hating my guts.

“Harry James Potter, you are a downright sanctimonious git, you know that?”

#drarry #draco malfoy #harry potter #sad (or not)#angst (not really)#sorry if it's too long #not even with a happy ending #i'm annoying #pls ignore my tags #ginafics

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bloodyredfox9 · 7 years

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My Big Brother

Regulus Black was not happy. Not happy at all. Why you ask? Because his brother Sirius had somehow gotten into his room and turned it upside down, literally upside down. His study table, chair, his lamp, heck even the mirror and his quill stand was stuck upside down. He sighed and walked in and closed the door. His bed was mercifully on the ground the straight way up. He was exhausted, the Dark Lord had certainly not shown mercy to him nor had he shown it to the other Slytherins who had been initiated with him.

He would turn 16 in a month now. His brother was another headache he had to bear. He had run away two years ago to that Potter brat and then came back a changed boy, no man. Regulus had felt betrayed when Sirius left him in the old, black, creepy Grimmauld house all by himself. Sure he acted as if he was following his dear mother's words and dream about being the Black Heir, but his brother had always come first to him.

So when Sirius came, last year thumping on the door to let him, he was surprised to find him ragged, beaten, and starved. He remembered what Sirius had told him after hugging him close and nuzzling his head into the joint between his shoulder and neck, "I ran, and went to live with the Potters. They were very kind to me, Reg. They fed me, cloth me, not that I didn't have any money, but it felt nice to know they were there for me. Then he came. That stupid old goat! He fed rumours about into Prongs' parent's ears, he said I was turning dark, that I was not good for James and that I was going to betray their trust in some way or the other. Prongs and I denied everything but eventually even James started believing his words.

He-" here Sirius's sobs had gotten hard as he couldn't stop his voice from cracking, Regulus rubbed his brothers back and just held him close, he knew how it felt. And then Sirius continued, "He started giving this looks at me. He never said it to me but I knew what he was thinking, that it probably ran in the family or that I had lied to him. Reg, then I ran away from them too. I lived on the streets, ate scraps from bins, heck I haven't got a decent night of sleep in months. Then it happened Reg. The streets are a very dangerous place to live; I came close to dying thrice. Once I got in the middle of a muggle gang I got punched and kicked and had bruises for days, then there was an accident where I broke ribs and could wake up after a week and the muggles healing is very painful. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I don't want that anymore. I won't listen to mother or father but I am staying here for you, I will stay here and be there for me, little brother."

That had gotten him so mad, that foolish Headmaster! How dare him! How dare he make his precious brother so broken and sad. That made up his mind. If he was going against him, do it the old fashioned way, join the Dark Lord. That had seemed so easy back then. Sirius was not happy with his decision and so made pranks to torture and that tried his patience. But he was glad that Sirius had bounced back, three months of glooming away in his room he had come out looking ready to start his new life. His parents hadn't forgiven for his traitorous act. At that Sirius had held his neck high chin up like any regal lord and said that he had not made in wrong decisions but it was the Potters who were in the wrong now.

Walburga Black for the first time had seen him act as his blood. And the whole last month Sirius had been studying the Old Ways, and the Wizarding politics which he had neglected for the last six or so years. Sirius tried to cope up with the idea that being in the Dark Lord's ranks would help the family, but he refused to believe him. Regulus smirked at the answer he had gotten, "I may be learning about the Dark and the Dark Arts, but I don't want that burden to be fallen on you. I don't want my baby brother getting hurt." His brother was so protective about him; it made him giddy in the inside. Yes, he had a brother complex. Who wouldn't? He had looked up to Sirius all these years, he still would look up to him. And he also knew that the brother bond they once had had been sewn together stronger than ever.

That was how it was up till now, but that still didn't make up for the fact his brother, a Marauder, pranked him every single time he got called for his "Death Eater-in-training" meetings. Now that he had been mad one he feared for his noiseless, chaos-less, days.

'Ah, I will think about it when he starts something. I am sleeping.' And he fell asleep.

The next day, when went down in the kitchen he was surprised to see his brother already sitting there. But he was even more surprised to see his cousin Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda sitting there and talking to Sirius. He pinched himself to check whether he was still sleeping or not. Nope it hurt a lot. Why would Bella want to speak with Sirius, let alone freely laugh about him? He shook his head, now was not the time to think about his crazy relatives, and now was the time for sandwiches and his stomach demanded them.

He walked up front towards his plate but his gut insisted to stop his hand from picking one, he looked at Sirius who was innocently talking with Cissa, but Bella was looking at him with glee in her eyes. He sighed and waved his wand vanishing the plate; it was too early in the morning anyways.

"Hey, why did you do that?" he looked at the pouting face of his brother.

"I am not going to eat anything you have touched, not when I am still getting over what you did last time you gave your tart." He still had horrible memories about that, he gotten boobs! And even lost his Little Reggie for day and a half!

Sirius smirked and turned to look at Bella, "I won. My baby brother is learning. Now pay up."

He put out his hand and Bella scowled but put five galleons in it. "Sheesh, Regulus couldn't you just them."

Narcissa stepped in before things got out of hands, "Bella, it was your fault that you didn't know well enough. Now learn your lesson."

"Hmph."

Regulus looked at Andromeda and said, "What are you three doing anyways? You never come here and never talk to Sirius. And Bella's talking to him as if he was his best friend, which I shudder to believe at."

It was Bella who answered, "Sirius called us here. Imagine our surprise when he bowed and apologized for his comments and views for the last seven years."

Regulus had his mouth opened, jaw slacked. All going in his mind was, 'What?'

Sirius leaned up the table and closed his little brother's mouth for him, "Close your mouth, Reg. I know you are not hungry enough to eat flies."

"Why did you call us here, Siri?" Andromeda opened her mouth for the first time since she came here this morning, still trying to wrap her mind around it.

At this Sirius gave a crooked smile which made his face seem sinister like he did when planned his utter humiliating pranks.

"I wanted you four to be the first ones to know. I have made my decision regarding the family." Then he looked at Regulus, right into his eyes when he talked again, "I am not going to stop you from working under Voldemort. In fact I have found a new way to protect my dear baby brother. I am going to become a Death Eater."

Regulus did the only logical thing that came to his mind. He fainted.

Sirius looked at the fallen body of his brother and hid a smile, Regulus thought he knew him well, it would have been a great prank had it not been true. Bella and Cissa both looked as if he had kissed Snape while Andromeda just took a sip from her cup of tea.

When Regulus came to, he was lying on the couch of the living room, his head on his brothers lap, who on the other hand was weaving his fingers through Regulus’s hair with one hand and reading a book with the other. He didn’t want to leave such a comfortable position that he moved and was completely lying on Sirius. He looked up to his brother who had his eyebrow quirked as If asking ‘What?’

Regulus shook his head and wrapped his arms around Sirius’s waist and nudged his head further in. Sirius laughed and patted his hair, “Bella and Cissa have gone to the Malfoy Manor to talk to Lucius about my wish to get marked, Meda is still in the house in the basement.”

Sirius closed the book with a snap and tapped his nose, “How are you feeling? I didn’t mean to scare you, Reggie. And no, it was not a dream.” He kissed Regulus’s forehead, “I will never let you suffer when you have me by your side, forever. Get it Reggie, you are not alone!”

Regulus felt giddy inside, those sentences had made his heart ache with hope brimming till the top. The word forever caused heat to turn his cheeks red, he didn’t care whether Severus disliked his brother, whether his Lucius turned up his nose at him, whether Potter had almost managed to severe their bond, He loved Sirius more than anything.

“You are so stupid Sirius.” Atlast he managed to get a few words out. “ If you join us, no longer will you be able to hide, you will have to fight your friends.” His grip around Sirius’s waist tightened, “Would you be able to last long trying to kill the people who were once by your side?”, murmuring his doubts in a low voice he wanted some consensus. Instead he got another kiss on his cheek and his brother pulling him up on his lap and hugging for all the worth in the world, “Who’s the moron here? I thought I said I am never leaving you alone, didn’t I?”

Regulus looked up shyly to see the familiar roguish smirk, “Truly?” a nod of the head, “Truly.”

His face split in two as he laid his head on his brother’s chest, “I am going to sleep, you will regret it if you try and move me.”

A bark of laugh was what he heard as his eyes closed and an arm going across his chest to pull him up and more close to the other.

He had finally got his brother back.

#harry potter #sbrb #fluff sirius/regulus

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loveforhp · 7 years

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(1) I think it’s awesome that you don’t only defend the ones who have been obviously abused, but also the ones who have been abused in the shadows, the ones we don’t hear or talk about. It’s great to know someone is ready to go past the prejudices and the appearances to truly understand what others are going through. I’ve been through a phase during which I was not exactly the nicest person and I had to move to another city because I didn’t fit in. People over there just see me as this awful

((2) person, but I know that this is not who I truly am and that I can be better than this. I am actually better and my true friends know that. So I just wanted to tell you thank you for defending Draco, without dismissing his faults and responsibilities either. Don’t worry about haters, anti-draco and anti-dramiones. The one being mean to you right now doesn’t know what she is talking about and it is hilarious how she got mad at you for answering her own questions she literally tagged you in.(3) That’s pitiful and she’s just close-minded. I think haters have just never been on the other side and they don’t know how hard it can get. I don’t know all that you have been through either and I don’t know if you want to talk about it and why you relate to Draco, but I’m glad someone is on this website for love and not for hating on others.

Anon! You’re socute!!! I’m warning you, this is gonna be long lol (as usual) as I’ll answer to the whole :) haters, me, draco, etc. etc.

I actually do not care about haters. I just think they’re funny (I’m talking about haters of fictional stuff obviously; haters of real people are better not get in my way because I can literally kick them out of a room in two seconds despite the fact that I’m just 5′ tall lol, or find proofs against them and give them to authorities – and I talk by experience xd). I dounderstand their hate and all, but as you said they’re more often than not themost closed-minded people on this website. They think their views of thecharacters are the absolute truth, while millions of people have millionsvisions of them. It’s literature. Literature is, has been and will forever be interpreted invarious ways. As my Uni teacher would say, there’s no absolute truth and there’salways something new to find in every book. I truly get why and how people canview Draco as just a bully. I am perfectly alright with the fact that somepeople hate Draco because they have been bullied and because he reminds them oftheir bully or something. I truly get it and I feel sorry for these people. Butat the same time, everybody is different. Every background is different andthere are limits to what can be applied to something else. Literature is interesting in how youcan take a figure and think about a problematic surrounding it to understandreal life better. It doesn’t have to be applied at 100%; it just helps and makesyou think. Similarities, differences, correlations, etc. It is sane to do sowhen it actually helps you. If it makes you literally hate something, then itis not sane. And hating things that do not even exist is just downright crazy.If it helps you cope with your feelings and helps you stay calm and not throwchairs all over the room, then alright! But instead of canalizing hate andanger, think through it. I know it is hard, but it has to be done one way oranother, so it better be sooner than later. Also, if you’re using a figure tocope with your own problems, you should be mature enough to understand otherpeople can do it too, even if they have a completely different perspective onthe problem. People should really start respecting each other. Like seriously.

As you and Isaid, there are people who consider Draco as just a bully. Alright. I don’tview him just like that. Alright too. To me, Draco is a very resilient person. He’sa fighter. And he cares so much for his loved ones that he would be ready tosacrifice himself for them. And he would never abandon them no matter just howmuch it hurts him. Draco was totally destroyed by all the responsibilities heput on his own shoulders (in this sense, yes, it was his choices, butconsidering his values it was the best thing he could do at the time and I’m not sure I could have done better), for hismother and his father. Harry was stalking him, things wouldn’t always work out,problems occurred that made him doubt he could go through everything, but hekept fighting. He got attacked by the Sectumsempra curse and almost died andrealized dying would have meant not only his death, but also Lucius andNarcissa’s deaths. So he decided to really put his plan into action, which hehad failed to put real effort in earlier as he knew deep down that he wasn’t amurderer and was scared and wasn’t really realizing the clock was ticking.Dumbledore literally told him he was no assassin, and Draco agreed and blushedwhen he realized what he had said in front of the one he was supposed to kill.Dumbledore offered him help and he refused. He refused until Dumbledore also offered his help for Narcissa and Lucius; butit was too late as Bellatrix came in and he was thrown over the room as she literally barged in. Dracowouldn’t have abandoned his family at all costs, and that’s beautiful. There’snothing wrong in loving your family unconditionally. That’s where Draco andSirius are different. Sirius hated his family and his family hated him; Dracoloved his family and his family loved him. He couldn’t leave like Sirius, andeven less considering he had no real friends. And the ones he had were all sonsof death eaters and he knew them even before school started. Living at theirplace still meant living with death eaters, unlike Sirius who ended up in Gryffindor with people from good families, and where he felt truly accepted.

But Draco’s unconditionallove wasn’t only towards his family. Goyle, for example. He didn’t tell Crabbeand Goyle anything about what he had to do during their sixth year; first, itwould have meant they would have been proud of him and they would have liked tojoin. Draco felt so alone because he couldn’t talk about what he was goingthrough with anyone because none of his friends would have understand him asthey would, yes, have been proud. Draco wasn’t proud. He confided in amudblood, crying in the restrooms, and that girl who had been bullied all her life (and ‘dead life’ too) wasthe only one who seemed to be able to understand just how much he wassuffering. A bullied understanding a bully, trying to help him, already tellsa lot about the bully in question. To come back to Goyle, in the Room of Requirements,despite Goyle not being on his side and not listening to him – as of courseDraco was asking Crabbe and Goyle not to attack the trio – he still saved hislife. Goyle was unconscious and Draco took him and climbed very high withGoyle, who I repeat, was totally unconscious, over piles of desks and other stuff, which honestly is heroic initself, no matter how awful a character Goyle was (he’s still a human being).When Harry grabbed Draco’s hand, he didn’t succeed as they were too heavytogether, as Draco wouldn’t let go of Goyle. While Ron was very unwilling tohelp and went back begrudgingly telling Harry he’d kill him if they didn’tsurvive because they had to help other human fellows, Draco confided Goyle toHermione, trusting her enough with the life of his friend even though she was theone to stupefy him in the first place, even though she was a mudblood. Onlywhen Goyle was safe he accepted to save his own arse. Not before. First thing he did whenthey were outside the Room of Requirements was worrying about Crabbe who wasstill inside, probably already dead (that’s funny because the hater earlier today said draco had never lost anyone… which is obviously not true – and even less in TCC where he had already lost his wife and his parents, but oook. – we can also count bellatrix and other members of his family he never really had the chance to meet, but whatever) even though Crabbe had tried to kill them all and was clearlyanti-draco at that point as Draco was seen like a failure to the dark lord (andvoldemort was in the meantime telling Lucius that his son was probably on theother side now, fighting along with Harry and co., which tells a lot about Draco tooas except if you’re Snape, you can’t really fool Voldemort). Draco still cared.His (ex) friend was dead and you had Ron being rude to him about it (andpunching him in the face a few minutes later for no good reasons – as Draco wasnot being a dick, but just trying to survive as he had lost his, or rather hismother’s, wand in the Room of Requirements earlier, when his friend had tried to kill Hermione, which took Draco completely by surprise as he hadn’t expected his friend to be so dark inside (a bit like Peter Pettigrew, tbh). At this point, right before Ron punched him, Draco simply had had no way to defend himselfagainst a death eater attacking him, without a wand.)

I especiallylove Draco’s relation with Astoria. He didn’t care about his bloodline, didn’tcare about having a child if it meant it would hurt her. His love for her waspure and he would have defended her at all costs. Despite his huge love for hisfamily, he grew up and decided not to take any bullshit from them anymore, asthis time it wasn’t a matter of life and death. Draco wanted to finally behappy and did not care at all about blood ideals, raised his kid into thebelief that every human being is worth the same. And even if Astoria would havebeen the only one to raise their son into these beliefs, it would still meanDraco would have accepted them, and accepted that his lover was a blood traitor.He fell in love with a blood traitor (meaning she ISN’T the one who made him accept them – he related to her on this level as they had been through a similar conversion) and he defended her despite his family beingagainst them. He could have done that for any other girl he would have loved. Itcould have been Hermione, and Draco’s love would still have been unconditional,especially after the war when he was fucking tired of all this bullshit andjust wanted to have a normal life and contacts with humans, even if with justone human. Draco was way over these things after the war because he hadrealized these things did not matter atall. That it was just propaganda. And a form of nationalism that didn’thave its place anymore as despite not being home in their own country and beinginto hiding, they still had found a way to have their own place, their own independencein politics, etc. And maybe more important, the muggles did not even know abouttheir existence anymore and they could then hardly be blamed for the waywizards had been persecuted and forced to exile in their own country in thepast (and still today).

The problem with muggles and wizards is a real one.There’s no big difference with the Malfoys and intellectual elites in cases ofcolonialisms and nationalisms to be honest. And I’ve read a lot on the subjectand even had an exam about these stuff just a few days ago lol (coincidence lol) as it is my field ofstudies and also a real problem around me. The real problem in the HP books isVoldemort, who’s the figure of the impostor, who uses the feelings and fears ofa group of people and promises them things like liberty, like ‘you’ll have yourcountry back, you’ll get your revenge’, etc. While he was actually raised bymuggles lol. Voldemort can easily be associated with Hitler, but the problem withpurebloods vs mudbloods is, oh my god, very different and far from a caprice.They were mostly being used by Voldemort (except some like Bellatrix, probably).If anything, Hermione is somewhat privileged herself as she exists in bothworlds and is entirely free in her own country. She’s even more free as she canswitch from one identity to the other, and understand what is going on. Shehas no problem with her identity and her history (of course she was scared of not being good enough, but Gryffindors -not slytherins and not draco- mocked her in her first year because of that). She received hate and all, but thenagain, what are people saying nowadays? That reverse racism doesn’t exist? (I don’t entirely agree with this common opinion as I’ve seen a lot of stuff against it in real life, and it’s even more complex in this situation because of the law on the secrecy, but it can help understand Draco’s standing point a bit more). Hermione first heard of Draco from Ron on her first ride to Hogwarts, and what Ron said was full of prejudices(it is understandable towards Lucius, but Draco wasn’t his father - but yeah, kids, right? Albus Severus, right? Draco actually seems to relate to him a bit in TCC, which I really like). The triowas already prejudiced against him before they even started Hogwarts. Hermioneeven insulted him, and it was really uncalled for, before he actually insultedher. Draco had been offering his friendship and Ron had laughed at his name, towhat 11-year-old Draco, like a typical 11-year-old, replied. Sure, stuff he said sometimes can beviewed like a form of racism when considering that muggles do not realize they’vebeen wrong in the past. But muggles have forgotten, not him, not his family. He was raised in the belief that this war wasn’t over. Not just Voldemort’s. Hermione is more intelligent than that though. She knewDraco was not evil, she didn’t believe he had it in him to be a death eater;she didn’t think he’d actually want to be one as it didn’t suit him. She didn’teven think it was his kind to make silly jokes with dungbombs lol (god, even 11-year-old Draco didn’t tell the teachers about the dragon while he had known for a whole week, and he only told Minerva because she caught him trying to go see the dragon too as he was curious to see it lol – he hadn’t even been trying to get them into trouble). In the end, Hermione was proud to be a mudblood, but she also defended Draco at his trial, despitenot having had the same opportunities as Harry, who for example saw Draco’sunwillingness to torture people under Voldemort’s orders through his visions.She didn’t have access to that and still defended him. And was totally againstHarry stalking Draco during their sixth year. No matter what Harry would tellher, with proofs or not, she was still always denying it. Oh and also, to be fair, wizardswould probably be lost in the muggle world and even more today with all thetechnology (even though Draco isn’t entirely ignorant on muggle technology – I mean,he talked about pursuing helicopters with his broomstick when he was elevenyears old hahaha). I find it cool that we see the muggle propaganda againstwizards in Fantastic Beasts and I truly hope it will be well done and explained. I’ve read so much on that, I’ve been to Salem and stuff before, etc. what happened in France, especially in the Basque Country, is completely awful (and really happened). The case ofDumbledore’s sister is very important too and a great example of what it could be like today without the law on the secrecy. Muggles are far from being thelittle innocent victims. What makes purebloods’ hate so unacceptable is thefact that muggles are left in ignorance. Some wizards have understood it andare happy to just have their own land in the end. That’s not how elites usually workhowever. Elites usually find comfort in traditional values, like family. Nowonder why they’re all keeping family trees. It really matters, because bybeing in exile, they literally cut themselves from their common history withmuggles, from the history of their own country. And they had to write somethingnew. And as you can see in History of Magic, it is still impossible to talkabout wizards without making mentions of muggles. Even years after the law onthe secrecy. Schools like Durmstrang still didn’t accept muggle-borns whenDraco was at Hogwarts. Years after the war, Hermione was working at theMinistry of Magic to amend pro-purebloods laws, which means they still existed.The problem isn’t all with Draco. The problem was mostly their time. They were in a time ofwar. It was not an isolated problem, at all.

To come back toAstoria, I just really love the way Draco loves her. And The Cursed Child mademe love them even more, considering the fact that she was sick. I rememberwriting a text when I was in primary school, which has been later published ina book. The book was about ‘the person I admire the most’. I had written aboutmy grandparents. My grandfather was very sick and lived in a hospital for overtwenty years, if not thirty. He was in a wheelchair and couldn’t really takecare of himself alone; he wasn’t even able to eat by himself anymore. Mygrandmother stayed by his side for all these years. She went at thehospital every single day to help him, to take care of him, and she loved himso much, even if it was hard sometimes, even if she had to work hard to pay foreverything despite her age and all. despite that nothing would change. At the end of my text, I had said that Iadmire my grandparents as they always show just how much it is important toface the trials of life, etc. etc. Draco is seriously brave to have beenthrough that, to have stayed with Astoria despite her being very weak and sick.It really is hard to live. I’ve somehow been into this situation too as my exboyfriend got health problems and he even wrote to me a few weeks ago saying hehad had a heart attack and all, and seriously it is really hard to deal with.We were going to college and sometimes he just couldn’t continue and we had tostop going to class or stop in the middle of the sidewalk outside because hejust had to sit or lie down. It’s a lot of sacrifices and it requires a lot ofdetermination and love, a lot of patience. Draco didn’t want a child if it meanther pregnancy could be dangerous to her in the long term, and I totallyunderstand that too because I am fucking scared of being pregnant as well and Iwould actually feel bad to even go out with a man as chances are this means he wouldhave to sacrifice the idea of having children. These kinds of things reallyaren’t easy and it takes a lot of strength and growing up. I can also relate toDraco as to the reactions of his parents; they definitely weren’t for hisrelation with Astoria. When I got engaged, my Mother, instead of being happy,literally cried because in her prejudices my boyfriend wasn’t good enough. Family isextremely important to me just as much as it is for Draco, and I could doanything for my family, even though I ended up growing up on my way and developingmy own values (because my parents definitely do not understand who I am andjust like Draco I ended up in situations in which I literally feared for mylife (several times) and did things against my will because of them – and despite that I stilllove them. Even if it’s still hard acting like myself sometimes when I’m with them, even today as an adult, even after moving into another city to try to calm things and have better relations with them when I see them from times to times). I relate to Draco in so many ways. I’ve had a phase like you’re talking about too. People have been mean to me, and I’ve certainly been mean too. I’ve said things sometimes that were probably worse than what Draco told Hermione when I was the same age age and I definitely didn’t mean them, especially when I was like 9-13. There really is a huge gap between what you tell people at this age (directly, or to people you thought were actually your friends in the slytherin common room lol) and what you really think when it comes to actual consequences in the real world, and what you could actually do, for real. Not everything that comes out of a child’s mouth has to be taken as literal and definitive. I definitely do not define myself according to stuff I said when I was that age, because honestly I’d go crazy. Despite all that, people usually view me as extremely open-minded, always smiling, always ready to help and listen to other people’s problems, passionate, clever, cunning, intelligent, original, witty, energetic, determinated and ambitious, resourceful, resilient, etc. (of course I can also be seen as cold, proud, perfectionist, lost, and somewhat impulsive, among other stuff lol). Point is people can truly change. When they’re genuine about wanting to change and/or become a better person. Which is definitely Draco’s case. I wouldn’t say Draco is me; I rather see him as my bro. But like.. as a child I would already call him my bro – destiny! haha.

Draco truly is a role model for me, because he’s ready to overcomeeverything, he grew up (as an adult) knowing what he wants. He grew up being a man, withstill his pride, a lot of resilience, and he’s clever and I found it fun that he kinda became a bit philosophical in TCC haha, which is totally me too lol). Draco’s not whiny anymore, he doesn’t deny the fact he has made mistakes, he accepts the past and knows it can’t be changed. He gives himself absolutely noexcuses for his past behaviours and is ready to fight for his family, even ifit means sounding like an idiot in front of people who dislike him and who heused to dislike just as much. He’s ready to move forward, to take action when it matters, etc.I love him in the Cursed Child. I just wish I’ll be like him at 40 lol. I love how he goes on stage and defendsHermione! I love how he is such a great father to Scorpius and really tries hard to make sure Scorpius doesn’t have to go through what he had to go through. He’s really an amazing character. He’s still dealing with a lot, but he does it wonderfully.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy defense squad #the cursed child #dramione #anon :)#me #cute anon <3 #talks #blablabla #i talk too much #ehm write

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