#i will always be unwanted

[aristarshower]

.

#its 1am brain sads #feeling so isllated and stupid and saf #why #its always this #every place every person every thing #i know i will mever really be wanted so i just fuck off by myself first #ive been trying so hard to not do that now #but it doesnt go away #it feels too vulenrable if i try #but nothing lasts if i dont try #they barely if i try anyway #i just have to accept it i guess #i will always be unwanted #dont respond to this pls

[gretchenzellerbarnes]

"anakin would've never turned to the dark side had qui gon lived." utter. bullshit. not only is this particular hot take an insult to obi-wan it completely robs anakin of his agency, because at the end of the day it was anakin's decision to pledge his loyalty to palpatine and to destroy everything that the people he loved held dear. that's what makes anakin skywalker such a compelling character, and as darth vader a tragic and iconic villian... because he did this to himself.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #meta #gzb #dave filoni #jedi order #darth vader #i always take anything feloni has to say about anakin with a pinch of salt since he retconned tcw!anakin to be “likeable” #anakin didn't need to be “likeable” he needed to be cringe and unhinged #hayden christensen understood the assignment #back to qui gon: i'm sorry but #qui gon's 1st padawan (xanatos) turned to the dark side #his 2nd padawan (obi-wan) was made to feel unwanted pretty much the whole time qui gon was his master #including that time qui gon stood before the council and told them *in front of obi-wan* that he wanted to train someone else #and feloni's out here claiming qui gon would've magically cured my boy's unhingedness??? hahaha nO #obi-wan kenobi was and always will be the best fit for anakin #and as for the sith lord-shaped elephant in the room? palpatine had been grooming anakin since he was 9 #he would've exploited the cracks in the master/padawan relationship no matter who anakin's master was

[butchjess]

His s2e5 moody dirtbag girlsoul. swag. and many such things

#jess mariano #gilmore girls #bart #i feel like i always draw him w his early s2 stubble sorry i just love it on him . its so silly #thinking of doing a lil b&w comic about him and lorelai. unwanted intergenerational reflection that you want to bash in the head with arock

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He's a Beautiful Butterfly!

#tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #In a moment of perfect seridipity; this was on the same page as my forgotten pahknohk redraw. #Butterfly creature hua cheng is one of my favourite doodles to do when I'm sitting around waiting for something or in a long meeting #They are all very silly and he is always having a good time. As he should be. #'OP Why?' I am once again putting it out in the universe that all the poorly drawn characters are 3-7 cm tall. They are all creatures. #If you wanna see pretty; ask to see San Lang. He's just the normaliest guy ever! #Hua Cheng in particular deserves to be a lot more monstrous and uncanny. Love me some uncanny HC designs #I also do want to reflect on the fact that initially I was like 'Dang his esteem is so low - he should be genuinely monstrous.' #then i realized 'oh god he's just like me for real (grew up ugly and unwanted and now can't reconcile with being Not That as an adult)'. #Growing up pretty privilege is not doubting what the hell people mean by complementing you. Why are you lying. What do you want. #Shout out to all of us insecure creatures. We'll get there eventually <3

[voidedjuice]

this bastard

#oc #original character #my art #my artwork #artists on tumblr #digital art #digital drawing #doodle #showing off the assets (teeth & her fucked up hands) #oc lore here is that after having lived for such a long time & spending like all of it fighting #cecilys extermities dont really recover to their original shape anymore #most of the time she wears gloves bc theyre cold all the time and they attract unwanted attention in public #could probly post this at a better time but i want it out now #i can always rb it later #oc lore

[cheatsykoopa98]

how do you cope with being the most annoying human being in the world?

I hate being socially anxious

#vent #sorry I forgot to tag stuff #like #its so weird #I feel so unwanted #I guess I saw a post from someone that triggered some memories #like every time I join a server or a group nobody ever talks to me #even when I post stuff there #but when its other people they always talk to each other #why dont they just kick me out already? #social anxiety #I guess

[anomalouscorvid]

i lied this is my day-after-christmas present to you all. the balmy con

....i should actually get one of my sskies captains over to eleutheria sometime

#slight inspiration from moonstruck stormy's design. but also in the end the influence turned out to be *very* slight #sunless skies #failbetter games #actually im putting this in the fl tag too because it involves my thoughts for curator clothes #fallen london #art #digital art #drawing #digital drawing #anyway i've always imagined barleycorn as some form of black + red/brown. but i only today realised i could make its eyes so.. halved-like #the fact that what it's wearing turned out apron-like is honestly mostly a coincidence #only so many ways to design curator clothes without unwanted excess clipping of wing membranes...... #or just wrapping them in a blanket

[bunnihearted]

i feel like many ppl dont understand just how unwanted i am and how deeply it affects me... my presence isnt wanted anywhere, and wherever i go i feel like im not allowed to exist. im never anyone's first choice. never the first favorite friend. never this never that. like im never the first choice for anyone, just now i almost got hit by a car bc the driver chose to not hit another person close by. they would've rather hit me than that person. and that's just how it goes for me wherever i go. im lucky when and if im even tolerated. but im not wanted or the first choice or the favorite. that just makes me feel so profoundly alone, like i dont belong anywhere or is even allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else.

#frustrated sigh bc i tried expressing this in a way i felt unburdened by the thought #but i just cant find the right words #but smth like this #to never be anyone's first choice is just... makes me feel so unworthy and unimportant and unwanted #i know that like if a crazy situation happened and my mom had to choose one of us.. she wouldnt choose me #and i've never been the first choice among friends or in class or like anywhere #even strangers always rather choose someone else over me #im so repulsive and off putting clearly :') #and like psychologically it isnt that weird that i like daydream and fantasize abt being kidnapped #or idk... fucking the villain 💀 because.. idk it feels ridiculous to even dare to fantasize abt someone choosing me #but ... daydreaming abt being kidnapped bc someone wanted me so bad? 😦😦 #idk idk!! 😭 i just feel so unloved and unwanted #and i get reminded of it when i go outside!! and even a stranger looks at me and is like yeah i'd rather run over that bitch !!! #like wow i really am worthless!!!! thanks #the fact that im begging the health care system for help and they just look at me indifferently... makes this all worse T-T

[ninawolv3rina]

"[The prisoner] sat with her eyes glazed over and her mouth slightly agape. Her arms, covered in jagged scars, spasmed every few seconds, but other than that there was no movement. She was staring at her own reflection, examining it. What she thought of herself was anyone’s guess. Whatever it was, she was thinking hard."

Happy birthday, Unwanted Prophet

#my art #my characters #quincy sauer #quincy #the unwanted prophet #the creed of gethin #happy birthday jeeessuuuus #books #indie books #indie fantasy #author #fantasy book #its prophets second published birthday #but her 6th birthday of the day i started writing her #not a clean milestone but im always happy to have an excuse to draw her

[dimdiamond]

My attempt to draw my headcanons for their body types (and their thoughts on them lol)

In which they're flirting:

In which they ask the wrong question:

The writing under the cut

Haddock's thought for Tintin: Blistering Barnacles! Look at him! He's like a Greek god sculptured by Michelangelo! Hiding such a fit body under his buggy clothes... and his abs... and his freckles... HE HAS FRECKLES EVERYWHERE! GOD! ARCHIE! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! How do I dare standing next...

Tintin's thought for Haddock: Would.

Chang's thought for Chester: Good Heavens! All this muscle and fat and hair... and I lack all of them! I must look so ridiculous next to him... He is the epitome of handsomeness! Bet he doesn't even look at me as a man... more likely as a toothpick...

Chester's thought for Chang: *Error 403*

Chester: Hey! You lost weight! Good for you!

Haddock: Thanks! I'm glad all this running and chasing benefited me somewhere!

Chang: You have no hair!

Tintin: Shut up! You don't either!

Chang: At least mine is visible!

Tintin: You have no muscle!

Chang: I can still kick your bony ass!

Tintin: I don't get it! We're both red-haired! Why yours are visible?

Chester: Maybe because my red is darker and yours is more like strawberry blonde?

Tintin: What are you saying? Strawberries aren't blonde!

Chester: ...Have you ever been to a hairdresser...

Haddock: EAT SOMETHING! WHY ARE YOU STARVING YOURSELF?!

Chang's thought: I'M ALREADY EATING SO MUCH! SHUT UP! STOP ADDING SALT IN MY WOUND!

#i can't do digital art for now because i don't have my PC in this place #and for some time i won't be able to do nothing but pencil and ink sketches on paper #these are my headcanons anyway #tintin has a small body but he is fit and specifically his arms are more muscular than the rest body #he doesn't have any big complex with his body type but more with his barely visible hair and his height #haddock was more fit younger but then alcoholism and depression made him gain weight #and after meeting tintin he managed to lose much of the unwanted weight #so the relief and compliment from chester is exactly because the weight was tied to a bad phase for haddock #haddock being haddock has not much of a big idea of himself and that goes to his body too #chang was always thin and bony but after tibet he was severely underweight so he slowly tries to regain his previous weight #he manages that but his metabolism is like that so he doesn't gain weight easily and that will always be his body type #so he kinda has some issues with his body but it's mostly when he compares himself with other bodies #chester was always chubby and he has accepted a long time ago his body like that but doesn't believe that he is attractive #so yeah tintin and chang are actually comforting each other because they're like at least there's someone else understanding my struggle #yeah no one really gets them but they do #ufff i blabbered a lot thank you if you read this far have a cookie #tintin #captain haddock #archibald haddock #chang chong chen #captain chester #the adventures of tintin #haddotin #cheche #my art

[addictt-with-a-pen]

oh, don’t mind me, just over here being the most unlovable creature in existence

#sigh #it’s sad boi hours #I feel so fucking empty #and hurt #I wish I was worth something #I wish I was worthy of being loved #I wish someone would put effort into me #but I’m always shown that I’m not worth it #it sucks #it makes me so sad #i just want to be loved #that’s it #that’s all #but it’ll never happen #oh #fucking ouch #… #unloved #unlovable #unwanted #alone #personal #my post

[fjordfolk]

100% don't punish the growl and listen to your dog and your puppy is not an evil mastermind AND ALSO seeing how Melis behaved today and latey, feeling very validated in our approach to her outbursts of screaming thrashing gnashing teeth being less "sorry sorry never mind" and more "ok buddy are u sure though"

time will tell if she has another ride on the melty brain hormone train coming (Sparta didn't - but she might) but at this moment in time, Melis is a pretty tolerant, people-oriented, socially intelligent little dog who's displaying some very pleasant traits. and who has not growled or snarled or gotten near threshold in many months. at this rate our worst puppy might end up our best dog

#her impulse control is tons better (as one expects when they start to hormonally mature a bit) #and its not so much about teaching her to moderate her behaviour anymore as it seems like she finally understands #that the best way to the best outcome for her is simply to #behave. and take it easy. and trust us and the environment to make things work out in good ways #conflict free resolutions etc #to be fair i think melis has ALWAYS been socially intelligent #i dont think she wouldve adopted the behaviour style she had if she wasnt. she learned VERY EARLY (pre-8wks) #that if she blustered big enough she'd win anything. and that became the most convenient and successful way for her to behave #so all we really had to do was make that behaviour inefficient. not punish it - that wasnt necessary #because the wanted behaviour requires less of her than the unwanted one does #anyway i love her and her remorselessness to bits and now we can foster her need for chaos and violence in productive and harmonious ways #<3

[liroyalty]

Today class, I'd like to remind you all that, if one of my characters doesn't like yours, to the point where they go out of their way to avoid interacting with your muse, that does not mean I the mun hate you or anything. It is muse beef not mun beef. I love all you guys.

Aka, someone is in the process of learning this... again, & I figured I mention this, because it will happen again-again. I know it will.

#(you can ask brandon. two of my characters did/are doing this to xaos) #(but brandon is bestie to me) #(a lot of my characters just do what a lot of people should do & removed a toxic/simply unwanted presence from their lives) #(i know we don't always get to but if we can we should) #ooc [so speakth the queen of queens] #psa [thank you for coming to my ted talk]

[lupismaris]

Sometimes self care is having a very stern talking to with the wounded scared parts of yourself that don't want to do the hard and difficult things and reminding them that nothing will get better if the hard and difficult things aren't even attempted

And then as a reward you promise to buy those wounded parts of yourself an entirely hot pink/pastel pink practice set if they agree to do the work required, as a little treat

#my doctor hasnt cleared me for the pitch yet so I haven't been practicing or playing yet this season and it sucks #i went to nola to support the team and did so! but i still felt out of place and forgotten about because i wasnt playing #i was rooming with players and the majority of them were very self involved (semi derogatory) which i wouldn't fault them for #if it hadnt been so deeply exhausting and so constant even after the tourney. but it is what it is i was there for them #im just tired of always feeling like the forgotten 'oh right and the other james' and feeling unwanted which isnt true #i have a place with the ferals even with my illness its my wounded ego causing issue. just cause the rfc coach was passively a dick #doesnt mean i need to pass up a wonderful opportunity for play time and friendship. ill have a chance to play with the guys #in time and ill have time to socialize with them as well in time #but i shouldn't squander an opportunity just because im wounded and bitter because of old traumas #besides more time to get fundamentals ironed out #so im ignoring my doctor somewhat and km gonna start practicing this week #lightly. just light stuff you know. cardio and working with the ball maybe since i shouldn't be on the heavy bag yet #and then next week ill buy my practice set and customize it as a Bribe to myself

[glorious-spoon]

what is the worst fanfic trope and why is it ‘everybody bullies the protagonist into confessing his feelings to his love interest when he’s not ready to or isn’t sure he wants to take that step at all’

and it’s always based on like. ‘oh, it’s OBVIOUS from the way he looks at you that he feels the same’ or some other half-assed pablum about how ~true~ ~love~ is meant to be and this is For Your Own Good and i’m just like, shit, if my friends behaved like that toward me i’d never fucking talk to them again

#like i get that it's a fantasy and the friends in question are a stand-in for the audience going JUST KISS #but i hate it thanks #especially for queer couples #which it always fucking is #like oh let's not even consider that there might be some concerns #other than the regular and very valid concern of not wanting to fuck up a friendship over unwanted romantic feelings

[elodieunderglass]

I really like the idea that one of the weird lurkers of your blog (like me) just hangs around looking for inspiration to write papers about. Like I realize that's not how it probably actually went down, but 2017 to 2022 seems like a pretty reasonable lead time from reading your post to conducting the research to writing and publishing the paper.

In reference to this:

It’s amusing that the original post only got 22 notes (likes), but when I looked at it again it had 19, which I’m choosing to interpret as the authors sheepishly withdrawing their likes in order to preserve their anonymity.

I think they probably just googled the phrase “friends to lovers pathway” before using it as the title of their paper and pulled up my post, or the other alternative being that the post popped onto their timeline when they were in the early stages of manuscript prep, and it was a moment of academic serendipity. I definitely don’t think I inspired the work in any way - just the quote and title. But it’s funny to imagine being studied.

I should say that I don’t necessarily expect permission to be asked if people intend to prosper or advance their careers from my words or art. However, I do appreciate the courtesy of being told that it’s happened. So far I’ve been quoted in a published book, quoted to name an academic paper, a person is actively selling plushies and other merchandise based on a post of mine while claiming that it’s their intellectual property actually, and screenshots of my work are regularly considered hilarious enough to steal but not pay me for. (the cricket post in particular was screencapped, went viral on Twitter some years ago without reference to me, was shared around BBC journalist twitter, and hundreds of people in the media industry said things like ‘lol we should pay this person to write’ …. in the apparent ignorance of the fact that if they had asked I would probably be open to…. Being paid to write……… and all the other times my posts have broken containment to go viral on other platforms for other people, with comments about how I should be commissioned to write a book; obviously that’s a normal part of online journalism and media, and I’m not naive about it, but it’s a bit much to for these people to be enriching their platforms with screencapped content, without the OP’s knowledge let alone consent, and joking about how they should pay for it or would read a whole book about it, when they’re the only people who could actually do something about it in the nightmare media landscape.) And nobody told me about any of these examples, I always find out by trying to retrieve links to my own stuff, or by friends telling me that someone else has gone so viral with my recognisable work that it got around to them.

Anyway if you do use my stuff in your own stuff, do let me know! I’m not here to prosper, but I am here to connect, and I’m quite willing to link your paper (and write a lay summary for free), buy your book or art, make your acquaintance, promote your work, or just add it to my portfolio - because if I ever DID want to prosper from my work here, which I wouldn’t usually consider except that it is evidently peer-reviewed good-enough-for-others-to-prosper-from, all of that would be valuable and helpful for me to know.

#elodieunderglass #at gmail #I’ve always said that if I wrote a book it would be a nonfiction book called something like THE SECRET LIFE OF MOSS with a linocut cover #stacked with all the other eco-unreadables on an unwanted desk in Waterstones #next to WALKS WITH MY HAWKS and THE HIDDEN LIFE OF MOSS and BEES FROM MY HEARTHSTONE #A YEAR OF HONEY AND WALKS #THE LOST WORDS OF NATURAL WISDOM #MOSS: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY #but you never know! I’d write a book for you if you wanted one #I’m just more of a journeyman writing to assignments and prompts than someone who wants to make up plots #and I believe my CHOSEN TRAINED career SERVES SOCIETY #far better than a novel going THE BOOK OF BONKS AND BLOSES #but fuck if someone was like #the world needs a book about walking with moss that fixes their mental health somehow #I’d be like sure. not to worry. the world does need that. #I am a workhorse who does work. I will do that work. #not the twitter marketing promotion stuff but writing is work and I do it on command. #anyway this has spiralled a bit