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shaylixie · 10 months

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Going Home

Word Count: 2k

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader

Requested: No.

Part 2

Summary: Chan and Y/n get into a fight, causing one of them to leave.

Warnings / Contains: Language; toxic behaviour.

A/N: The way I write this shit but I'd never act like this irl lmao...I'd like to believe I'd be a lot healthier about it but hey, do it for the angst amirite? Enjoy! 💗

You come home and take your shoes off at the door of your apartment, feeling defeated after yet another shitty day at work. The past month has been hell - work has been so hectic and insane and you barely got a breather. To make things worse, Chan was having his own struggles too, and you hardly had time for each other...which you thought would have made the little time you spent together more special, but it just felt strained. It was getting late, and you desperately needed a hot bath and a meal. The first proper one of the day - that muffin from the morning did a good job sustaining you, but you really really needed something more.

You walked in to the kitchen to find Chan sitting at the table with takeout - God, you completely forgot.

"Channie, hi. Fuck! I'm so sorry, baby. Work finished later than planned and I completely forgot and...are you mad?"

He gave you a tight smile. "It's okay, y/n. I know how things are. The food is cold now though...we should warm it up."

You sighed and sat down at the table. "I feel like shit, Chan. I really am sorry. Why didn't you eat without me?"

"You know I'd never do that," Chan says. "Hey, you're here now. Let's just eat, okay?"

You have a feeling he's trying to appear less hurt than he is, but you dish out the food anyway for both of you and heat it up. You eat together in silence, trying to ignore the slight tension in the air. Afterwards, you get up to wash the dishes and Chan finally speaks up.

"How was your day?"

You can tell he's trying to ignore the tension in the room and move past it, so you do your best to do the same, while remaining as honest as possible.

You sigh. "It was shit. Again."

"I'm sorry," Chan replies.

"It's okay. Not your fault. Anyway. I'm gonna go shower, okay?"

He clears his throat. "Yeah, sure. Let me know if you need anything."

You kiss his cheek and make your way to the bathroom.

When you get into bed, Chan is turned the other way, already asleep...or so you think. You switch the bedside light off and turn to sleep too. It's silent for a while until Chan turns over and runs a hand down your side, stopping at your hip. He presses against you then, and you feel exactly why he's still awake. But after the shitty day - no, month - that you've had, you just don't have it in you. You ignore it, and act like you're asleep. Maybe not the healthiest move, but you're too exhausted to think about it too much.

"Baby?" Chan whispers. "You awake?"

"No," you reply.

He sighs then and flops onto his back, letting out a sigh of defeat. After a few moments, he shakes your arm and then turns to put his bedside light on.

"Y/n, can we talk?" he asks, tone firmer than usual.

"Can it wait?"

"No, no I don't think it can."

You sit up then.

"What going on with us?" he finally asks after weeks of wondering.

"What do you mean?" you ask, knowing but wanting him to elaborate more.

"You mean you haven't noticed? God, we haven't talked in ages. I mean a real conversation. Everything always feels like a string is about to snap...the constant tension...I can't stand it. I don't even know what's happening." It's as though a valve opened, and now everything is pouring out. "Look...you're busy, I get that. But I am too - yet I'm trying, y/n. It feels like you aren't. You come home late. You never come by me anymore...not to the studio, not to my place. It's been what, a month? Maybe more? It feels like more. We don't talk, we don't touch...when's the last time we even had sex? It's like you don't want to even touch me anymore. I don't know if I did something but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying...and it feels...it feels like you aren't. Like you haven't been for a while."

He waits for your response, and you feel tears pricking the back of your eyes. Which makes you frustrated...which makes you angry.

"What the fuck do you want me to do, Chris?!"

He's taken aback by your sudden burst of anger.

"I'm tired. Okay? I'm fucking exhausted. I-I don't even know what to do myself. I barely sleep. Or eat. I'm stressed all the time. I feel like I don't even have time for myself let alone you and now what, it's my fault? Fuck this."

You get up from bed and leave the room. Chan sits for a while in stunned silence. What just happened? Fuck it, he's pissed too now.

He follows after you. "Really, y/n? You're gonna take this shit out on me? I'm trying to help us - get us out of whatever the fuck you got us into - and you what, just explode on me? I'm trying to fix us!"

"And what if you can't, Chris?! What if this can't be fixed?"

He looks at you like you just cussed him in 3 different languages. "You really think that?"

"Fucking maybe!"

He laughs a humourless laugh and then shakes his head at you.

"That's all I needed to hear. Fuck this."

He grabs his keys and slips on his shoes, slamming the door behind him and leaving you alone in the dark flat, the tears finally falling down your cheeks.

It's been hours and you still can't sleep. You sob thinking about your fight with Chan; about what you said; what you insinuated. Was it really beyond fixing? You think about what Chan said. He's right...you haven't been making time for him. You haven't spoken the way you used to in what feels like a while. You haven't touched each other lovingly or sexually in a minute and you've ignored his every advance. And he had been trying...Chan was just as stressed out. His deadlines were all coming up and he was suffering with writer's block and he had an appearance soon and the Kids were behind and and and. Yet he still made time for you. Even if it was small. He still came to your place almost every night, even if it was after you fell asleep. He still made sure you ate and he checked in when he could and he always tried to act like things were okay, even if they weren't. He never wanted to add onto your stress. God. You were a dick. You don't deserve him, you think, crying harder. And the cherry on top? In a few days, you'll finally have a break. So much for that now.

It's been 3 heartaching days since the fight with Chan. You haven't spoken in that time, but you can't say it's his fault. The day after, neither of you spoke. The next day, he sent you a message. "Can we talk?" You ignored it. He called that same night, but you declined. He got the message. The third day, he called 4 times. You ignored all the calls. You knew what you had to do.

At 4am that morning, you woke up and started getting ready. You got out of the shower and dressed, hair still wet, when you heard urgent knocking at your door. You opened it, only to see Chan - bags under his slightly red, puffy eyes and hair dishevelled. Your own face probably looked the same.

"Y/n, can we talk? Please?" He paused as if finally noticing you were dressed and your hair was wet. "Where are you going?"

You sighed. "Home," you said in a small voice.

Chan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But you're already home?"

You looked down, and then back at him.

"I mean home Chan...as in South Africa. I'm going back."

He stopped breathing. "What?"

"This isn't working out, Chan. I don't...I don't deserve you. My flight is in 2 hours. I need to get to the airport now. I'll be gone for a while but I have to come back to decide what happens next. Maybe we can talk then."

You move to close the door on him, but he stops you.

"What- You're ending things?"

Now it was your turn to be confused. "Didn't that happen 3 days ago?"

"Y/n, no. It was just a stupid fight! It doesn't mean anything. Don't do this, please. We can work things out. Cancel the flight. Please. Baby...please."

You feel your eyes sting with fresh tears, and you turn to walk to your bedroom to get your things, knowing that trying to get Chan to leave is useless. As you suspected, he follows you and stands behind you as you go to grab a jacket, ignoring your wet hair now. No point drying it while he's here...you had to get out as soon as possible. You go to grab your suitcases, trying painfully hard not to look at Chan whose face is streaked with tears too. You deposit the suitcases at your front door and slip on your shoes, making sure you have everything. Chan watches you do all this, still in shock, as though he doesn't believe any of it is real...like it's just one big nightmare.

"You have to go now, Chan," you sigh. "Or at least, I have to. I can't miss this flight. I'll see you around."

You turn to walk out the door but you stop when you feel his hands wrap around your calves. Looking down, Chan is on his knees, the same way he's been so many times before for you, but so so different now.

"Please," he croaks. He's sobbing now, and he drops his head against your leg. "I'll do anything. Please just don't go. You want me to beg? I'll beg! Please, y/n. I'll make things right...I'll fix this. I'll fix us. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fuck things up between us...I'm so so sorry, baby. I love you so much...please, please...please, baby. Please."

You're sobbing too now. You kneel down, facing him, and take his face in your hands, wiping his tears. In between shuddering breaths, you say, "That's the thing, Chan. You don't have to fix anything. You weren't the one that broke it...that was all me. I don't deserve you, Channie. Maybe I did once, but not anymore. You deserve someone better." You cry harder at the thought of him with someone else. Composing yourself enough to talk, you add, "You deserve someone who can love you where I failed to...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby." You kiss his forehead.

"That's bullshit, y/n! I know you love me. And it's enough! It's enough for me. Look, a lot of shit has just been happening to us but we can fix it. Okay? Just give us a chance. Fuck anyone else - I don't want anyone else. I want YOU! You're all I've ever wanted and I'll never-" He breaks down sobbing again. "I'll never want anyone besides you. You hear me? Stay. Stay for me, baby. Please."

You both break down even more then, foreheads against each other. You stay like that for a while before you glimpse the time. You still had to drive to the airport and check in your luggage and board and-. You had to leave. You move to stand, pulling Chan up with you. You hug him, and eventually force yourself to let go.

"If it's meant to be...it'll be. Yeah?" you say.

Chan just sniffs in response, fresh tears brewing.

"I'll see you when I get back and then...well, we can see from there. Okay?"

"So it's not over?" he asks.

You kiss his cheek and hand him your key. "Lock up for me?"

You grab your suitcases and make your way to the car, leaving a heartbroken, devastated Chan behind.

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biggie-chcese · 5 months

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rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

#rain code #raincode #mdarc #master detective archives: rain code #rain code spoilers #mdarc spoilers

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spectrum-core · 1 month

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STEPHCLAIR IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Alternative title: a very angry (and tired) Full Stop fan's thesis.

ok, so me being the stephan/sinclair comparison's strongest hater is a bit i really like to lean into, but for the sake of keeping things semi-serious i will try to keep the actual essay content as free of me ranting my frustrations as humanly possible (which i mean commitement to the bit aside this will be hard bc it is frustrating to see people calling them both the same character, at best it shows a very surface level understanding of either character and at worst it shows just reducing them to cookie cutter meme fandom archetypes neither character actually fits into, so bear with me if i slip up and make unserious comments from time to time)

so before i start the actual essay let me say this: this essay doesnt even scratch the surface of how much i hate this comparison you guys cant even possibly fucking imagine ive been obssessed and i mean OBSSESSED with the full stop office since 2021 and im glad i wasnt in the limbus prerelease fanbase because if i had to see people comparing my beautiful boy and beloved best friend to a guy we had no info about other than "hes based of the guy from demian" i would have turned into the joker this is not even about saving my own mental health this is about sparing the entire pjm fandom of the monster i would have turned into

spoilers for ruina and limbus, universe terminology heavy and surface level references and interpretations of demian by herman hesse because imma keep it real with you guys the first and only time i read that book i was still in high school and i barely remember shit.

Table of contents:

Stephan - a summary

Sinclair - a summary 2.1. Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919) 2.2. Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

Addressing common arguments

1.- Stephan - a summary

And of course I will start with Stephan, because I love him very much, just like Liwei he's one of my favorite pjm characters (yeah i like him more than your favorite popular character don't ask) so it's not surprising that i have A Lot to say about him, right?

And of course, I do.

As I said in the serrated duo post, a core part of my perception of the Full Stop office depends on the fact that they are poor. Mentions of money are common all across many factions in the game, yes, but the Full Stops are extremely constant about money, how taking a wrong turn means losing more than they can afford, how they can't afford to drop their weapons because they were too expensive, how even getting the permissions to be able to buy and wield these weapons was ridiculously expensive and so on. Of course, Stephan is the one talking about this the most (something I will elaborate on later), but Liwei and Tamaki also make a few ocassional mentions to it in their dialogue and keypages and considering this is a shared business it just makes sense that this is something that affects all of them.

These are just some few of the callbacks to money that Stephan alone does in his dialogue, without focusing in keypage text or what Liwei and Tamaki have to say about it.

And idk man, at least to me the difference between social classes is an important aspect for their characterization, specially because of how constant the concern with money is for Stephan. From this point alone comparing them feels like erasing a core aspect of Stephan's characterization, a lot about Stephan (and the Full Stop office as a whole, let's be real here) starts making more sense once you read the office as lower-middle class (and I'm saying lower middle class because they can afford some place to live and their weapons, but to me these guys are the types who precisely because of their need to keep bullets at all times can't pay for water or electricity all the time and sometimes they simply can't afford food or if they do they can spend a week straight eating nothing but unsalted pasta).

Now, going back to Stephan being the most outward about his complaints with money, he is in general the most outward about all problems the office is facing, to the point in which he doesn't mind inconveniencing everyone else with his rants, being one of the few guests who interrupt Angela's introductory speech and getting into Tamaki's nerves (something he's well aware he's doing, as these two know each other) at least two times through the course of their pre-battle cutscene, even Roland comments after the reception on how he wishes he would always have been as open about his problems as Stephan was.

However, it's worth nothing that he doesn't spend the entire cutscene crying about his miseries, and he only starts losing hope at three key moments: when they can't kill Eileen inmediately (making them waste more bullets than needed), when Argalia shows up (forcing them to retreat and making them fail their mission, meaning they won't get paid for this after they already lost a ton of money, as well as turning the situation into something much more dangerous than what they had signed up for) and once they enter the Library (an Urban Plague grade threat they have little to no information about, when him and Tamaki are almost out of bullets so Liwei is essentially the only fixer with some chance of putting up a fight and, you know, making it out alive).

Now, while it's true that Stephan is someone who dislikes danger, he isn't someone who isn't used to seeing gruesome events, his instinctive reaction to seeing a guy getting his head put into a meat grinder was cracking jokes and calling the concept of thought gears "a load of horseshit", which is something that falls in line with him being a somewhat experienced Fixer (sure, grade 5 isn't amazing but we can assume it's still either in the higher side of average or barely above average, and for someone specialized in firearms, which are far from the best weapon in the city, getting that high means he must have some experience and skill, right? more so considering he's been at this for 5 years at most) who has seen a fair share of horrid shit and can be unfazed by (most of) it as long as his own safety isn't on the line.

Another point is... he dislikes danger and is always wary about money and expenses, to the point in which he enjoys checking his bank account (or at least he believes so, if we go for the theory of the artbook profiles being more a mix of what the characters perceive themseves as/would describe themselves as to others, which is a theory i go by, I see him as someone who's convinced he does that for fun instead as out of desperation), but this seems to be more a generalized feeling of impending doom at everything rather than something that can be traced back to a particular traumatic event (anything can be dangerous, anything can cost him money), dude's from the backstreets after all, he's seen shit and he's used to assuming the worst. How I see Stephan, he's a guy who already expects bad things to happen but once things go wrong he starts freaking out about how this time They're Screwed For Real, but he never really tricks himself into believing "maybe things will turn out just fine this time?" or who thinks "well, we've done this before, surely we can handle it again."

This is not very related to Stephan as a character in terms of personality but I think it's still an important point to make as it is particularly related to body mods, his physical condition and his body shape.

So we can easily say that Stephan is a strong dude, at least if compared to real world standards without the fancy and insane body mods we see people in the city have access to. He carries that huge rifle around with his bare hands, something that Tamaki doesn't do and that not even Stephan himself in earlier iterations of his dessign did, and his main talent (which based of my theories is something that can be assumed as "something he's proud enough of to consider it the thing he does best") is physical labor.

Pictured, Tamaki's talksprite, carrying a rifle almost as long as she is tall with a strap supporting the weight on her shoulders, like a normal person.

Also pictured, an earlier iteration of Stephan's dessign, carrying the same rifle his current version does, but also holding it with the help of a similar strap supporting the weight on his shoulders.

And finally, Stephan's current dessign, holding that shit with his bare fucking hands in an exhibition of his brute animal strength, what the fuck is wrong with this man (affectionate)

And Stephan's artbook profile, the important part here is his speciality being physical labor, not only he's strong but he aknowledges this.

However, I made a point about the Full Stop office being poor, right? Even Roland says that "giving a whole office augmentation procedures is cheaper than keeping a decent supply of bullets in stock" (not the exact phrasing).

At least personally, I see this as Roland essentially saying "it would be cheaper (and more efficient) to get body mods for everyone in the office and buy another (cheaper) type of weaponry instead", but as things stand, the Full Stops can afford to either buy more ammunition and maintain their weapons, OR to get body mods, and since their whole deal is firearms... well, they can't really Stop investing in them, meaning they have no body mods At All and they got their grades purely out of their own physical strength.

Similarly, Stephan makes a similar point about how body augmentations are required for people to be able to run while carrying their weapons around (specifically talking about the rifles he and Tamaki use).

And... you know, the whole point is that they couldn't run carrying their weapons because they were too heavy, Argalia mocked them for that, Liwei urged them to drop their weapons, something they refused to do because of the prices.

Lastly on this point, while it's true that Ruina talksprites have a very bad case of Long Anime Legs (to the point in which how Roland's legs take about 2/3 of his height is a common joke), if we focus only on his head and torso, Stephan looks pretty Wide, and not only because he's wearing thick, fluffy and multilayered clothing, as other characters wearing similar clothing styles still look thinner than him.

This is all to say: I don't think this guy is a twink, or thin at all. He's a prime example of the strongman build to me and this is yet another hill I'm willing to die on watch project moon turn him into a beanpole once he inevitably shows up in limbus and me turning into the first real world distortion as a consequence.

Finally, Stephan is very notoriously the most informal member of the office, not only being the only one who doesn't wear any sort of formal clothing fully prioritizing comfort and practicality over looks but also completely disregarding formalities with his attitude at work (again, he interrupts Angela's introductory monologue, and again, his first two lines when being introduced are him cracking jokes), being the only member of the office to swear on screen and using several informal expressions and metaphors through both the reception dialogue and his keypage story.

And for good measure, he's a compilation of Stephan being the creature he is.

The literal introduction of the characters, also known as the moment in which Stephan became one of my favorite characters because he's Just Like Me Fr

Very normal behavior for someone who hates blood and violence and isn't used to seeing it. This man is more than capable (and willing, assuming money is involved) to murder kill.

Which, I mean, this attitude is very different from what we see from Sinclair.

2.- Sinclair, a summary

In retrospect I probably should have made this one first because I'm gonna be honest with you, Sinclair is one of the sinners I care about the least (I still like him and think he's pretty cool mind you I just don't vibe too much with most of the tropes making up the character) so what I have to say about him is less me grasping for straws and subtext because I don't care enough about him to be bothered with a super serious and in depth analysis like I did with Stephan and more things we can explicitly see about him in game and things that happen in the novel Demian.

And if I can have a small parenthesis here, people saying that one of my favorite pjm guys Ever is in any way similar to a guy who despite being pretty cool is just Not the type of character I fully vibe with... really, it gets annoying fast. Anyway back to the serious analysis now.

2.1- Emil Sinclair in Demian (1919)

To be able to understand Sinclair as he is depicted in Limbus Company, it is important to first be familiar with the source material of the original iteration of the character, that's it we're doing your high school homework by compiling several literary analysis of a symbolic psychological early 20th century autobiographical novel i hope you guys signed up for this (and if you didn't, though luck! i will do this anyway, I love literary analysis).

In the novel, young Emil finds himself torn between the worlds of light (which can be equated to the Garden of Eden, but it's more tangible meaning for our protagonist is his childhood home and family, a serene and well structure/organized space where he can be innocent, untainted by the evils of the outside world) and darkness (basically all the scary shit that goes on outside, where people do evil things for the sake of it), he finds himself tempted by the violence of the outside world, particularly through the actions of his classmate Franz Kromer, which eventually leads him to consider that due to being exposed to this tainted world of evil he no longer can return to the world of good and innocence.

Here, the character of Demian acts as a guide, someone who helps Sinclair to trascend this binary perception of good vs evil and to see himself as someone worthy of happiness because him witnessing the world of evil didn't taint him as a person but rather merely showed him another face of the world, Demian here mentions the Mark of Cain as a symbol of mental strenght and freedom, considering that bearers of this mark are capable of making their own choices and should be able to go beyond their assigned roles, being able to embody aspects of both worlds. This is to say that Demian's view is less focused on good vs evil, instead taking a more order vs chaos approach (without giving an explicit moral character to either).

In the book, the symbol of a bird breaking out of the egg is frequently used to represent Emil's personal growth, the egg represents safety and innocence, but a bird must eventually leave the egg or it will die, and getting out of the egg is a process than can be seen as violent, as a bird must fight to get out of the egg, and getting out of the egg represents birth but also an irreversible change, it can be seen as breaking out of the world of light and getting permanently in the world of darkness since a broken shell can't be fixed, but it can also mean achieving the enlightment and personal balance to not feel permanently bound to a condition, place or state of being and therefore growing as a person by learning to see himself as a whole human instead of supressing his "evil side" by only forcing the "good side" to surface.

Max Demian is here to show this second meaning of growth/self improvement (while also explaining that Sinclair is permamently growing and must always keep this balance between all the parts conforming the whole being that is himself rather that trying to make parts of himself antagonize each other). This idea of personal growth being one of the core themes of the book.

2.2- Emil Sinclair in Limbus Company (2023)

With Sinclair's source media analyzed (at a very surface level, mind you), we now can start talking about the depiction of Sinclair in Limbus Company, how it parallels the book, why the book symbolism is important for this instance of Sinclair and so on.

When we are first introduced to Sinclair in the game he's clearly nervous, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do as he hasn't worked for a similar company before and he isn't used to the gruesome sight of the bus eating people, this does fit inmediately in the motif of a naive person with limited experience about the world (well, to be fair to him most people won't be seeing man-eating buses at a regular basis, but the average backstreets dweller would be familiar with equally violent situations).

With this said, despite Sinclair's obviously nervous behavior... he isn't really a pessimist like Stephan was, in fact, almost every chapter (counting cantos, intervallos and the short mini chapters such as the Dante's notes update episode) have at least one key moment with him trying to rationalize horrible stuff as something much less violent, or simply going "but I thought this thing didn't work like this..." when confronted with the more horrible realities in the city. He thought the G corp veterans were really going to let them pass without a fight, he thought the people being controlled by headhens were just actors wearing mascot costumes, he thought mermaids were the beautiful half-woman half-fish creatures he heard about in fairy tales, and there's more examples but I don't really feel like looking for The Entire Fucking Plot Because This Guy Is An Actual Protagonist Instead Of A Background Guy Like Stephan Was to make my point clearer than it already is. And it's only when he realizes that the real world doesn't fit his expectations that he panics.

Well, there is one exception to this pattern: his own canto. Here, he panics inmediately as soon as K corp's nest is mentioned and spends the first half of the chapter pleading to turn back while saying that they are going to get killed. So what is different here with the rest of the plot?

Obviously, the fact that is related to his very own very personal very specific trauma. That is to say, unlike Stephan who is wary of anything that can put him on danger or cost him more money than it should, Sinclair has a very specific traumatic event that makes him act Like That (sure, he gets scared and nervous outside that, but these are more normal "I'm unfamiliar with this and I don't fully know how to react, this is normal behavior in a human being" reactions than outright "I am Actually Terrified due to being reminded of an actual traumatic event, this reaction is a textbook definition of post-traumatic stress disorder").

HOWEVER, Sinclair being someone who's deeply traumatized and kind of a scaredy cat when it comes to violence and unfamiliar situations... it doesn't mean that he's incompetent or a bad fighter. Almost all of his identities are terrifyingly good fighters (at least in their lore), Los Mariachis fear jefe Sinclair, Cinq director Sinclair is someone most association members are terrified to duel even during training, Blade Lineage Sinclair is considered a talented killer (it's also worth noting that save maybe for the mariachi one, in none of these mirror worlds Sinclair is precisely happy of being recognized as "the guy who's very scary when he fights people", unlike Stephan who I don't think he particularly likes killing but has a more "as long as I get paid..." mentality about it), the only "not very good at this" Sinclair id I can think of is the molar boatworks id where he's more a mechanic than a fighter so he fears he's lagging behind in that aspect. Hell, even the Canon Timeline so to speak (which is to say: his base identity) has him carrying that huge halberd, going on a frenzy attacking some already mutilated inquisitor's corpse, piercing through Guido's armor and dealing a fatal blow that finally killed him for real. To compare, Stephan is good at physical work, but we don't know about his close combat capacities other than the fact that he dislikes it, for Sinclair however we know he's terrifyingly good at physical combat.

Now, I've seen a lot of people call Sinclair a twink and while it's one of these words that nobody agrees on what it means, let's give it the benefit of doubt and say "alright, for the duration of this analysis let's settle on a twink being a young looking (regardless of actual age), thin man with almost no facial/body hair".

Since Sinclair is a rich guy (not just Any Rich Guy though, we're talking of someone whose family had ties to a Wing, probably not some elite guy like Daniel or Hong Lu, but not a self perceived "mediocre" nest dweller like Samjo either), and pressumably not very experienced in combat in most mirror worlds (we know he has no prior experience in the base one where he joined Limbus, at least), let's say that he has enough body mods for him to be much stronger than he looks like despite being thin, he does look thin and young and much to my dissapointment he also has no facial hair, so yeah, under this very broad definition of the term he is a twink.

However if you start adding personality archetypes to the definition he stops being one almost inmediately, as we've been shown time after time that his "submissive" attitude is mostly a result of him not knowing too well how to impose himself and just going along with what the rest say or do, but he's starting to grow tired of that ever since Hell's Chicken (even if he clearly still isn't great at that), as it should be more than obvious for anyone who even just googled "demian herman hesse literary analysis", Sinclair is undergoing a lot of changes even now, and the game is doing a good job at portraying that.

Honestly I also think he'd be hotter with a sleeper build but really, I don't care enough about him to argue about that.

And for the last point, precisely due to his upbringing as a rich guy AND his traumatic experience with Kromer, Sinclair is not only a very polite and mild mannered guy (again, unlike resident creature Stephan), but also he tries to take as little space as possible, both literally and metaphorically, as Dante notices near the end of canto 3 when they finally comment on how Sinclair never talks about his own problems until it's too late because he doesn't want to bother the others as they probably have it worse (again, unlike Stephan "i don't mind loweing team morale and making everyone in the room uncomfortable as long as i get to vent" Full Stop office).

3.- Adressing common arguments

Alright, now that I talked about each character, let's see some of the most common arguments I've seen people use to compare them.

"They look the same!" No, they don't. The only thing they have in common is being blonde but even their hairstyles are different with Sinclair having a simple bowl-ish cut with slightly wavy hair and Stephan having curlier hair (not to mention the whole point I made about body types because I'm the sort of lunatic who cares about that stuff). I won't even bother with this argument.

"They have the same personalities!" Again, they don't. Stephan is very cynical with a lot of his attitude being clearly derivated from him coming from a poor background and having stayed there his whole life, he also doesn't care about his cynism getting in the way and bothering everyone else. On the other hand, Sinclair is someone who could almost be described as naive due to having lived a sheltered childhood and only having his experiences with Kromer and his time at Limbus as moments of realizing that the rest of the world is Not Like His Childhood House, still believing that the world is a binary of good vs evil and expecting things to turn out fine or be much better than they actually are, just to be hit with the reality of the city Not being a nice place where people are nice and polite and not trying to kill him, this is not to say he doesn't have his own issues but even Dante notices during his Canto that Sinclair makes a point to avoid bothering everyone else with his personal problems, keeping them to himself even if that makes things worse on the long run.

"Both are opposed and harmed by a lunatic!" This is an argument I've seen a lot and is incredibly filmsy at best, half of the city's population are lunatics and the other half are people who got opposed by them some way or another. Will you say that Ishmael and the rest of the Pequod crew can be compared to the Full Stop office (or really, even mention the other Full Stop fixers instead of just focusing on Stephan because he happens to be blonde and can be compared to Sinclair) because of their situations with Ahab? Or the W Corp crew who got their train targetted by Jae-heon and Elena (or, you know, the train passengers who were turned into Love townspeople or puppets)? What about the Vermillion Cross who got killed by the Reverb Ensemble? Or the Cane office fixers? or the Zwei association section 6 who got beaten to death by Gyeong-mi just because he felt like doing so? Or the Liu association section 1 who had to deal with Argalia taking Philip away? Or the Kurokumo clan members when they were attacked by Tanya? You aren't comparing them to either Stephan or Sinclair, right? Not to mention that in her weird and fucked up perception of things, Kromer was less opposed to Sinclair as she was trying to lead him to join her and her cause, even the last things she says before getting killed are her calling him to follow her.

"Both are compared to birds!" Oh, right, because I forgot that a very directed symbolic comparison to a baby bird breaking out of it's shell as a symbol of rebirth, learning about the nuances of the world and self improvement/liberation that is consistently used in the source material Sinclair comes from is exactly the same as one (1) throwaway line the big bad guy uses to mock not only Stephan but the whole Full Stop gang, right. And if you want to say "but Tamaki compares him to a bird once too", yeah she calls him a parrot because he keeps repeating the same complaints over and over, it's still not the same as a consistent metaphor.

"Both are sad blonde twinks! They're essentially the same guy." Sad? Yeah, everyone in the city is sad but their ways to be sad are polar opposites, and neither of them is the pure cinnamon roll uwu crybaby archetype people tend to lump both into, Stephan was merely having a bad day and people decided to make that his whole personality (when honestly we get more insight on his actual personality before Argalia shows up, when he's making sarcastic remarks and getting impatient because they weren't starting killing people fast enough) but he's still perfectly capable (and willing) to murder people, and Sinclair is just... someone who lacks experience about the real world and how it works and has a tendency to get nervous because of this, but he can adapt quickly to situations once he understands them. Blonde? Yeah, but I guess if that's a point to draw a comparison then we should also compare them to Don Quixote, the Tiphereths, Lenny, Yun, Lulu, Olga, every single npc, librarian, and agent who comes with blonde hair from the generator... Twinks? Stephan absolutely isn't one, Sinclair depends on how you define twink as nobody seems to get to an agreement with that, if you define it as merely "young looking thin man with almost no visible body hair" then yeah he is one, but if you go for any more specific definition than that he stops fitting into the definition almost instantly.

In conclusion: if I see anyone else comparing them I'll start blocking people liberally bc I'm sick of seeing that shit (I do that already tbh but just so you know), now scram

#pjm #library of ruina #limbus company #.🔫#this full stop office shit gets serious #probab ly not exhaustive but ive had this sitting on my drafts for way too long so i needed to post it so people understand how much i Hate #that godforsaken comparison

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1schadenfreude1 · 2 months

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Rewriting Cain Boyfriend to Death 2 Love how the BTD fandom just collectively agreed to adopt EP's characters as our own I am absolutely tormented by the fact that Cain had so much potential but just. does not have the best writing ugh he's too similar to Rire and it kills me SO I am rewriting the fallen angel, lots of headcanons below the cut

Cain's number one motivation for why he does what he does is BOREDOM He's been torturing people in hell for centuries and it's become BORING. He wants something new, something interesting. He wants to see live humans and savor their emotions. Cain misses being human He'd never admit it out loud of course, but he does miss having real human emotions and enjoying human pleasures. Of course he can't be on earth too long while angels are hunting him, but maybe, spending time with humans will help him regain some of that human feeling?

Cain is chaotic evil incarnate LISTEN everyone in btd2 is a silly dork and Cain should be one too. He should have the most unpredictable and immature chaotic energy. Do you trust this face??? You shouldn't

I think he just. does shit without thinking. Like he's been away from real humans for so long that he's sort of forgotten how fragile they can be.

"Oh c'mon little toy you can handle a little boiling water, right? Hello? Human? Fuck. Guess I need a new one." Yeah he's incredibly overpowered but that doesn't mean he knows how to USE that power lmao. He doesn't know how to interact with people anymore. he wants to be human again, but all he really knows how to do is…torture people. he's so dumb.

Straight up contradicting canon here but-- Cain feels bad for killing Abel Asking about Abel makes Cain get SUPER uncomfortable and shut down. He doesn't wanna talk about it. He definitely doesn't feel remorse about it. Nope. No remorse here. Abel is DEAD and GONE and good riddance and he DEFINITELY doesn't have lingering issues about it. Fuck you. Rips you apart with chains.

He loves bullying Damien though They have each other's phone numbers for god's sake. Cain sends Damien gore porn of the people he's killed. Those two try to kill each other on a weekly basis. It's normal for them. Yes that is Damien's severed arm on the living room wall. It brings Cain joy. Don't worry about it. Totally normal thing to say to your sibling

Cain and Rire are rivals I think this is basically canon (based on Darqx's gorgeous art and animatics) but I wanna delve into it a bit! They're both incredibly powerful supernatural monsters, but their main difference comes down to this: Rire is lawful evil Cain is chaotic evil Cain kills people for purely selfish reasons: he wants to see human reactions and feel their emotions again. He thinks that causing pain will help him feel human. Rire kills people because its his job to collect souls. He loves his job and has a lot of fun with it, but in the end its still his job.

Cain is much, much older but Rire is way more mature

Cain is more powerful, but can't do much when he's stuck in Tartarus Rire is less powerful but has much more freedom of movement

Cain likes to play the long game, seducing victims with romance before going sadistic on them Rire is a busy demon; he likes to have fun but needs that soul sooner rather than later

Cain plans long elaborate dates because he's bored and reads too many romance novels Rire's plans are short and brutal, he does what he wants and that's it

Cain loves humans and wants to savor their reactions and emotions Rire hates humans and treats them like disposable toys

Cain is more interested in pain than sex, he won't rape a victim unless he really likes them Rire likes sex lmao. its a power rush for him and it feels good I hope my ramblings make sense lol

#boyfriend to death #boyfriendtodeath #btd cain #cain zeitgeist #character analysis #btd rire #lucien rire #headcanons #btd headcanons

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majorasnightmare · 8 months

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from one mineru lover to another ... can i pleek hear the headcanons you have for her

KICKS DOWN DOOR

YES ABSOLUTELY

some loose context for the headcanons i have for her

the zonai hail from the silent realm and formed 3 major settlements originating from the decaying trial gates, one in the sky islands, one in faron, and one below in the depths (using the eldin gate that had since been buried under hyrules changing landscape). by the time of totks ancient era, the zonai had been slowly and steadily migrating back to the silent realm with mineru and rauru being the last to stay

hailing from the silent realm, the zonai culturally place a massive emphasis on self betterment through trials, self inflicted or otherwise, as a way of marking time through growth, in service to the goddesses

im using the oot elements, so the gerudo get spirit (which manifests as lightning) and mineru gets shadow, linking her to the sheikah and the technology theyll create

rauru and ganondorf are exes who had an EXTREMELY messy breakup before rauru founded hyrule

i can elaborate on that more (and will later) but for NOW

MINERU

so i headcanon mineru as this character thats deeply atheistic and autistic. which doesnt make a lick of sense until i explain it further lmao

mineru, to me, is this person thats deeply materialist, whereas her brother rauru is deeply idealist, and sonia is a staunch spiritualist (which is why her and rauru make such a good match for each other). minerus primary concern is The Real. the golden goddesses are Concretely Real but their influence is negligible. mineru grows up in a culture that dedicates themselves to spiritual self growth through trials of self betterment for, ostensibly, the sake of three goddesses no one will ever see or talk to or be touched by. they exist, surely, because the triforce exists, because their power exists, but mineru will never see them, hear them, talk to them, touch them, or see their hands mold reality. in every aspect she would care about, They Are Not Real. and so ascribing to a cultural norm of "betterment through trial" (needless struggle and self doubt) just. doesnt click for her. why chase spiritual enlightenment when theres shit to do RIGHT here?

shes this kind of gruff, non social person who nonetheless cares deeply and intensely but wants to dedicate her effort and energy to things she considers important. her brothers important. her work is important. vague divine approval? unimportant. shes more concerned with how things tick than the Grand Plan of it all.

a lot of this makes itself manifest in her role (in my headcanons and aus) as the sage of shadow, if you understand shadow as Unseen (Concealed) Truth. why do the islands float? how does zoanite work? what can we do with this energy? what can we make? how can we build on it? shadow magic, imo, requires a strong thread of creativity. its what makes OoTs shadow temple so brutal and the history behind it so heinous. but it isnt inherently bad. its creativity, imagination, the Unreal. its the drawing of a curtain and the throwing it aside. this underlying current, the need to understand How and Why, is what makes minerus cutscenes with this understanding so much more enjoyable to me.

mineru is this character defined by her inventions, whos headpiece mirrors the goggles purah and robbie wear, whos role as shadow, the creator the inventer the counterculture, will be revisited when the sheikah create technological wonders that will spread throughout hyrule. she makes a mech to house her soul to survive the thousands of years into the future. whereas other sages choose a successor, mineru says "youll see me there in the temple my damn self." because if you want something done right you do it yourself!

i headcanon mineru and rauru as hailing from the sky island zonai civilization, and theyre the last hyrule dwelling generation. she grew up watching these senseless tests of courage that just risked major injury for no good reason, and then her baby brother goes off to better himself because he wants to make a meaningful impact in the world, and it just cascades into a dominos of bad decisions. she doesnt put any stock into divine intervention because the only people who can save anything are us. i picture her being endlessly fascinated by her home and the constructs and that curiosity being the foundation for a lot of what she does from there on out. becoming a fantasy mechanic, an inventor, getting down into the nitty gritty of a machine and getting covered in grime and oil but not caring because theres a problem that needs fixing and she has a wrench. voraciously tearing into any book she can find, any historical record, being this treasure trove of information and trivia and history because she cant help but come back to those questions, how?, why?, again and again.

itd be easy to hear her described as anti social and gruff, and see her interpreted as a little standoffish and blunt, and end up viewing her as kind of an ass, and you wouldnt be wrong per se but its really just that mineru only really puts effort into a relationship she cares about, and she really REALLY pro cons that shit. her first and foremost concern is rauru, her little brother, and as the zonai migrate back to the silent realm, her last remaining family. when rauru descends to the surface in search of problems to fix and Be Of Help, mineru correctly assesses his budding relationship with the gerudo royal is one fated for disaster, because nothing good comes from entering a relationship just to "fix them" regardless of how well intentioned and kind hearted you may be. because of this she doesnt invest much into getting to know ganondorf as he interacts with her brother, because shes expecting it to blow up and doesnt want any of that blowback. nevertheless when that comes to a head in the WORST possible way (a situation in the au that results in the creation of the gibdo queen, the first blood moon, the deaths of several gerudo guards and the eventual deaths of koume and kotake, a situation that will then contribute to The TotK situation) mineru beats herself up every day for not being more involved. her brother is sweet, and truly believes in the ideals of the zonai he was raised with, that to struggle is to overcome trial and better ones self, and such an effort is a spiritual responsibility of those hailing from the silent realms, created by divine hands, because of the power theyre capable of wielding. she cant fault him for that, because rauru IS capable of great good and he WANTS to help people so bad, but as mineru surmised years earlier, when your inundated with this concept that You Have Power and your Obligated To Use It, you never stop to think that maybe you arent the best person to solve this issue. you cant use a wrench for a screwdrivers issue. and knowing that, knowing rauru is driven to help but too inexperienced to know what he CAN help with, mineru feels responsible for not stopping him from biting off more than he can chew. (rauru, on his end, solely blames himself)

so shes a bit More Present when he meets sonia and when his idealism leads him to found hyrule, she stays close, but she really can NOT be assed to be dragged into politics because jesus christ. no. but she continues to be like. Peak Older Sister. every time rauru has a problem, shes the one he turns to. every time rauru wants advise, he asks mineru. he loves her a lot and relies on her guidance because he considers her one of the smartest people he knows (she is, along with sonia) and even though most of the time its rauru once again trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, theyve basically been abandoned by the rest of their people (who have written hyrule off as this kind of Fun Ordeal but Not Worth It as they go on being fucking. philosopher kings in a realm of Eternal Silent Trial where you can freely perfect whatever magic bullshit you want without worry of a body count or, ya know, consequences because very little is physically tangible there). mineru isnt going to like. continue that trend, and just leave rauru to it. hes a grown adult for sure, but that just means its his responsibility to grow and change as a person, not that he cant ask for help. especially because she doesnt want him to handle everything alone

so shes hands off with the hyrule business, and plus sonias got a good head on her shoulders, shes a nice balance to raurus Impulsive Do Gooding and helps him move from individual action to Systemic Good (tho that in itself is another one of Raurus Bad Impulsive Ideas because founding a Divine Kingdom of Good is a fools errand). and for the most part mineru is fairly assured that it wont blow up too horribly (*loud incorrect buzzer*) but man. when they show up with zelda.

so raurus very much a "im divinely obligated to help people" and sonias v much a "fate ordained our meeting" type and mineru is very very much Not That. but zelda? zelda is so much closer in personality to mineru, so when rauru and sonia show up with this girl from the future that theyve basically adopted, minerus like "alright you are once again Back On Your Bullshit so im NOT getting Into It" AND YETTT. zelda ALSO cant stop asking how? and why? (because light and shadow are closer than most people think), and zeldas so invested in what makes this tech work, how it functions, what makes it go, and while rauru and sonia try to give zelda the best they can, zeldas also similarly thrilled to get her fancy white dress all gunked up with oil cuz theres a plug that needs reconnecting and mineru cant get her hand thru the gap. they get on like a house on fire and despite herself mineru loves zelda. absolutely adores her. which was NOT on todays to do list, for sure. and so despite herself mineru is now including zelda in her (very small) circle of family and similarly mineru is this gruff no nonsense figure zelda can earnestly talk to whos similarly concerned with the Real and the Practical and how it can be applied to solve our problems instead of omens chasing and prophecy fulfilling. which is why mineru goes out of her way to help zelda in a way she generally doesnt for sonia because well. zeldas basically her niece. and sonia can handle herself. and also zelda loves hearing about weird programming quirks in the constructs. so its really just kind of inevitable

but minerus pursuit of knowledge is why she knows about draconification (and rauru doesnt), and why rauru comes to her for help because thats kind of his habit. its a lot like asking big sis to beat bowser for you cuz you cant get it, and like she clowns on you for it but still takes the controller.

and when rauru and sonia are like "the ganondorf situation is Our Problem and we arent involving zelda" mineru is 100% behind that because uhh YEAH rauru it IS ur problem this is YOUR ex and your series of Questionable Decisions, but also why she throws herself into it because she does still carry that responsibility. she still feels that guilt for not protecting rauru from himself as his older sister, and that so many people suffered, and that now more people she cares about ARE suffering and WILL suffer. a feeling thats compounded by raurus sacrifice sealing ganondorf

understanding how the sky islands float was a childhood dream of minerus, to understand the hand of the divine and make it tangible and real, and while she achieves that, with the help of someone who really truly gets her and her work, the context surrounding it is so grief stricken and heart rending it thoroughly spoils the joy of scientific pursuit, which is probably why it isnt something mineru records in a lot of detail. in a lot of ways mineru loses all the people she considers family to that same Hand of Divinity, which imo makes mineru being atheist more richly thematic and adds to her character. its this combination of "am i being punished for my lack of faith?" alongside this determination to assert your individual power in SPITE of divine influence, taking herself to the present by her own craft and the sheer power of ingenuity and creativity and the aid of an equally learned peer. also her spirit bond is on the middle finger. i love that for her

this is long as fuck so im throwing bonus thoughts in the tags

#totk headcanons #mineru #mineru totk #mineru headcanons #totk zonai #zonai #totk spoilers #throwing my random commentary in the tags #literally i see shit like ''mineru comforting rauru after a nightmare'' thats like all soft and cutesy #and im just there like She Would Not Fucking Say That #MY mineru says fuck. and calls ganondorf a dipshit. my mineru hears zelda talk about rhoam and calls him a dense motherfucker #she isnt someone that shows kindness easily. but she IS still kind #she doesnt talk to people easily and doesnt play etiquette or politics.#shes a very I Follow Rules That Make Sense both socially and otherwise #it has to have a function a purpose a reason #including religion! why worship the gold trio if they leave you on read? make it make sense says mineru #yeah god may be real but god wont fire mega demon flamethrower at a molduga. i do that. me.#and until god DOES that then all three of em are CHUMPS #in the au i have with laura sonia becomes the light dragon and carries zeldas soul to the present along with the master sword #and her and mineru have a very emotional reunion #which. is EVERYTHING to me #ALSO I CAN AND WILL ANSWER FOLLOWUPS. I LOVE CONVERSATION #BUT LIKE A VAMPIRE. I MUST BE INVITED

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lakesbian · 7 months

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Dearest Aisha, I hope this letter finds you well on this horrible sunny day. I’m leaving you this message because my heart is twisted in twain, and you must know that it’s not you, it’s me. What we had was wonderful, but alas, my future in the Bay is either woefully short or non-existent and as such I must bid you adieu. Or in plain English, I’m leaving because this whole plan Glory and Taylor cooked up isn’t my thing and would just put a target on my back. Maybe things would’ve been different if we weren’t pulling up the curtain, but oh well. Try not to be too upset about it. I left the playstation behind, and feel free to save over my old files. Say bye to the others for me, just don’t be too mushy about it. -Alec.

JESUS. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK HE TALKS LIKE THIS. alec wouldnt say bid you adieu if you paid him. or Twain. or Dearest Aisha. oh my god hed gag before saying dearest aisha. hang on we need a full count off of the sins here

the base premise that he didn't discuss his feelings about victoria and taylor's plan with aisha beforehand is absurd--they're extremely communicative with each other

the base premise that taylor would go along with anything victoria cop dallon said in the first place is insane and makes me want to see the person op thinks victoria is killed badly by bugs

the base premise that Aisha is fine with victoria cop dallon's plans instead of going "alec isnt this fucking sucks." is insane.

the base premise that alec is the only undersider not okay with victoria cop dallon's plans is also insane. I'm going to be real with you they would kill her immediately and without hesitation for alec and they dont even like him that much.

again, it's absurd to act as if aisha and alec are noncommunicative enough that he would drop this on her as opposed to telling her he was considering leaving off the bat. also i think she has enough wrong with her that she would want to go with him. but i digress, that's besides the point because

alec would not want to leave without aisha in the first place. people latch on so hard to him casually suggesting leaving the undersiders in that one early chapter but like. he's doing that bc it's in the context of a hypothetical scenario where his dad is getting after him. he always unequivocally backs them & follows their lead when they get into Shit That Is Not About Him--he's just both not wanting 2 burden the undersiders w/ having 2 deal w/ his dad + assuming that they wouldn't necessarily Want to help. once they say they would help he's like. oh ok. and this is certainly the last time he ever even considers leaving. those are the only ppl he has he's not walking his ass out of there. he Thinks he doesn't care but in any situation where he's at risk of exiting or losing one of them he leans HARD into backing them up. e.g. knocking himself unconscious to help brian sacrificing himself for aisha suggesting leaving town As A Team when the s9 is there and explicitly mentioning stopping to pick up rachel first. his actions demonstrate how he feels even if he isnt consciously aware of it. this entire situation is cartoonishly implausible but even if it did happen he would just not react this way

anyway the fic literally just ends like this.

A/N: And so the curtain rises. Or sets? Maybe it’s an interlude? Or a intermission? I didn’t really think this metaphor through. Writing Alec is hard, but I’m hoping I managed well here. No, this is not an elaborate rug pull or “oh he shows up later”. Alec is gone. He doesn’t show up for the rest of the story. And the reasoning for that should be laid out pretty clearly here. Maybe in another world, where Tori and Taylor resolved the communication issue before this point, they could’ve had that conversation. But they didn’t and he didn’t. So the only way out was out. Alec was never going to be willing to unmask. And with that knowledge, what happened last chapter should be a lot clearer. Today’s rec is an essay on Alec’s Costume by ewingstan on Tumblr, which does an excellent job breaking down his character in terms of psychology and code switching between his cape self and who he is regularly. Or rather, how there’s not much difference at all. I’ll see you all next week.

YOU DID NOT MANAGE WELL. HOW ARE YOU READING AND LINKING GOOD ALEC POSTS (albeit ones i had a bit 2 expand on but like. Its a good post it stands on its own.) but not internalizing Any Of Them. my god. this is so funny. there he goes fucking off into the sunset leaving literally his entire life behind because op understands nothing about him. resti n peace boy. ok thus concludes my Complaining. i'd apologize but its my blog and i can do what i want forever

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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joyburble · 1 year

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There are quite a few black-and-gold ensembles, and once I started writing I realised they only make sense if I look at them together with the Badass Look, which is just the most important of a set. So, here goes.

In episode 3 we see this all-black look with a heavy gold belt. It establishes a scheme: sweeping gown, robe with an elaborate gold belt, and high-necked underlayer, all predominantly black.

The underlayer is a little bit silvery, not quite black, and has a sort of Paisley pattern in the weave. The robe is interesting, it's pleated over the chest and doesn't quite close at the belt. He wears this through episode 4.

This is quickly changed for a different, but very similar outfit for the plant-care sequence in episode 4. The chiffon gown and underlayer might be the same ones, but the robe is a wrap-around black damask with a lot more heft than the pleated one.

The reading scenes have the soft pleats again.

The belt is the same, for both looks: we see the black damask robe again for Episode 5. We're maybe not supposed to notice that these two outfits aren't the same. They're treated as interchangeable. I personally prefer this one:

For episode 6 and most of 7, he wears the Hunting Dress. But after the hunt is over, we briefly see this completely new and memorable look, in which the black has been splattered with a bucket of gold. He also wears this to be baffled in boats, twice, in eps 8 and 9. And to eat the packed lunch, because the alternative would be ... not to.

It's a different chiffon gown, split to the shoulders, a black roble apparently splattered with a bucket of gold, a different underlayer in this wet-look black, and a separate train in gold with a geometric black pattern. We get better views later in ep 8. But I think the key is that this is what he's wearing when he kind of ... accepts that he's feeling Xiao Lanhua's feelings. He isn't feeling his own yet, but he's been spattered with hers, like a bucket of gold paint to the chest, and he's getting a little addicted. He's asking for more.

Episode 9, however, pins this look to our mental pinboard for a different reason. This is what he wears first to duel with Changheng:

and then, to Fuck Shit Up As A Formal Public Occasion:

Where we get to see how physically insubstantial the whole thing is. This storm-cloud of gauze and gold occupies a lot of space, without actually filling very much space at all. Not like the Honey-Coloured Gown, or even the Hunting Dress, which seem to have real substance. This is like an ice skater's costume. Or a cloud.

We remember this look because we get to see it well, and this whole sequence is very emotional, backed up repeatedly by the most fun piece of music in the show, which will also return later.

Having been established as the Badass Look, this bucket-of-gold thing stays with us through the "I am back" scene in Episode 10.

Then it disappears and he changes back to the Hunting Dress later in Episode 10.

For the confrontation with Xunfeng and then the unplanned confrontation with Former Moon in episode 17, we see a new robe with a different underlayer. Both are very heavily patterned in gold, the underlayer with a complicated woven pattern and the robe with a sort of chaotic paintbrush look. The sleeved chiffon gown is probably the same one as goes with the pleated and damask robes in earlier episodes.

I do think this brush-spattered robe is the same one as he wears with the Chrysalis Gown, just a little more loosely wrapped and with a different skirt underneath. The skirt has a geometric pattern.

The underlayer at the neck, which is probably the same garment as the skirt, is not the same one that's briefly worn with the Chrysalis Gown in what I think is a continuity hiccup in ep 27. The ep 27 one (left) only appears this once, as far as I can tell.

Right! We've established that black-and-gold is kind of his default setting, that he got splashed with a bucket of gold by the one-heart curse, and that the gold then gradually infiltrated everything via the Honey-Coloured-Gown and the Chrysalis Gown, and by episode 27 or so, is nearing integration into his default look, give or take a startlingly ugly belt.

Now let's notice when each of these comes back, after episode 30. Because the fact that we remember these looks, however vaguely, helps to support the emotional intent of the later scenes.

The latest entry comes back first: the brushwork robe and the spiky-patterned underlayer appear in the field battle, the conversation with Taisui in ep 31, and for the death scene in ep 32.

The pleated robe comes back in the dream sequence in Episode 32, still worn with the vaguely-Paisley under-robe, which we also see worn on its own (to signal that they are definitely married in the dream). It's tailored to the waist and has a very full skirt. The chiffon gown seems to have a hint of red at the shoulder. So this is just a reference to times that he perceives in retrospect as happy, or at least as a starting point for happiness.

The black damask one from the plant-care sequence in episodes 4 and 5, minus gown and high-collared underlayer, might also be what he is wearing in the final battle in episode 36 - also caring for a plant, but even more dramatically.

And then THIS HAPPENS. I did a double-take; it seems kind of incongrous because both characters are very different people from when it was last worn, in Episode 10, and calling back to the state of mind he was supposedly in at that point is just baffling. (I feel like the music could have helped, but it doesn't). What does this mean?

Then I thought, given the maybe-inevitable weakness of this scene, which is basically just an invitation to write your own epilogue, would anything else have made any more sense? I feel like I could make a case for the black damask (just for continuity). The more elaborate looks would feel silly, and the hunting gown too aggressive. The honey-coloured gown has completed its job, and would clash with the look of this scene. The Badass Look has the merit of calling back to the most fun moments from early in the story. Although I don't think that makes this scene any easier to pull off. It also means that he wears this both times he says "I'm back", although he says it in quite different ways. That's probably the explanation. So ... okay. Fair enough.

The DFQC costumes master post is here.

#love between fairy and devil #lbfad #costumes #cang lan jue #dongfang qingcang #dongfang qingcang's fashion sense

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kayforpay · 2 months

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curious to know ur thoughts on equidan.....ever since i saw that post abt pretty boykings wrecking their big tough guards they've been kicking the shit out of my brain and i need to infect others

I love equidan! I think it's one of those ships that has a lot of potential because they're both at really similar mental spaces, in this case "being weird fucking assholes for seemingly no reason (but it is later revealed they had reasons and could change)".

would be a really cute situation of like, no game AU, equius being the first person eridan looks to for hired muscle once he's making the rounds as Someone To Know because he still clings to feferi for the sake of fame if not for actual closeness with her. equius probably wouldn't be thrilled but you can't break a bunch of expensive shit every day and expect your inheritance to cover it forever, big boy

so he's put in charge of eridan's health, which he assumes at the start would mean "be around to punch if absolutely needed" but immediately learns "also make sure he doesn't just rot in his recupracoon all night. oh my gog. when is the last time this guy has drank water instead of an energy drink. didn't he used to like tea? why does he have so much takeout in his fridge and nothing else"

and really sincerely equius is NOT trying to be some kind of quad for this guy. he doesn't worship highbloods so much anymore, and he has a very wonderful moirail who would just be too delighted to see it happen. but he can't say he's keeping eridan safe and see him walk out of some dodgy club wasted off his ass, hanging off a shady-looking violet's arm, and not say anything.

eridan for his part isn't playing it up; he likes to party and live fast ever since he got dumped by the first and potentially only person to really truly mean something to him; he likes vriska still, but not everything can be flarp, as much as he desperately wishes it could be. at least not for him, not since the media caught sight of him and feferi early in her showing as heir.

they fight a lot, mostly equius trying to get eridan to take care of himself, but over the course of equius cleaning and cooking and keeping him mostly safe, he starts to seem kinda cute. who knew a giant sweaty bag of horse ass could blush like that, right? and when he takes his sunglasses off he's got really pretty eyes, actually, and his jaw is cut, too

so eridan hits on him, first subtly, because to be frank he doesn't want to rush into it and get surprised by equius finally learning the real use of his "sculptures". then he gets more overt, because for Some Reason, equius doesn't respond. which sucks. he used to be easier to rile up, but he's also had to physically wash the vomit off of eridan's nude body before, so the charm might have gone.

I could see eridan staging an elaborate date where Somehow he keeps missing the intended second, so why doesn't equius just sit in? and at the end they end up back at his hive, and equius is still being proper, so eridan has to pull out the stops and go back to what he thinks might still work, despite all the time that's passed:

telling him to get on his knees and beg for it.

#kay talks a lot #thnks fr th qstns #anon and on and on and on #long post anjkd #equidan ----#trying not to spam tags u kno

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joyce-stick · 5 months

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I didn't like Scott Pilgrim Takes Off all that much. I feel like elucidating on why, a little bit. so. Anyway.

First, letterboxd review I wrote within a few hours of finishing the show (read this first please):

So, I read all of the comic (finally) prior to watching Takes Off. Having seen the movie several times before, I found the comic interesting in how it develops its characters further over a longer timeframe and ties up a few loose ends that the movie sort of left open in weird ways that don't make sense. Ramona has more agency, Knives shows more maturity, Scott and Ramona are more explicitly on equal footing and make for better foils for each other in the comic than in the movie. Scott regrets his life choices and runs away for a while. Ramona regrets her life choices and also runs away. They both come back and beat up Gideon together with, y'know, mutual agreement that they both kinda equally suck and deserve each other and are going to both try to get better for themselves and one another and it's fine

It's not like, groundbreaking feminist storytelling, but it sure is a lot MORE gender equal than the movie which just goes like. Ramona is mind controlled! Scott must save her! Scott beats up Gideon sorta unilaterally (with a little bit of help) and then gets Ramona because he does! It's okay. It's fine. I mean, both the movie and the comic are fine. The movie is a hyperinventive visual feast and a stellar adaptation as far as faithfully replicating its source material in the target medium. I love it. Anyway.

Both the comic and the movie are fairly complete stories which really don't need more elaborating on. They're done. They exist. People either like them, or hate them, and have been discoursing on them for years. People discuss how bad of a person Scott is or isn't, or how transgender of a reading you can apply or not apply to Scott.

(I mean, you can! You're allowed to!)

It's all well-worn. And stuff. I don't know that Scott Pilgrim is a trans girl. I mean, it's plausible fanfiction. You can do it if you like. I wish that Takes Off had played with that idea, instead of what it did do, or, in addition to what it did do? And what it did do is just. Weh?

Weh.

Okay where do I start. Um.

spoilers for Takes Off below this point

Takes Off starts by taking Scott out of the picture. He is assumedly presumably made dead. Coined. Whoo.

Okay so obviously Scott isn't actually dead, he comes back later, but him being presumed dead for a bit does open the door to the rest of the cast to get some attention. Which you'd think would be good. Alright. So, we have Matthew Patel, still here. He's an incel, it turns out. Beats Gideon in a fight being like "man I got the bigger dick here." Wins totally! Okay! The league of evil exes is all either like "wow good going Matt" or "man screw this shit" and leaves. That's amusing for a minute.

Roxy shows up for an episode, fights Ramona, and is like "YOU LEFT ME RAMMY! I HATE YOU!" And we get some delicious flashbackiness to their relationship, and they kinda reconcile. Then Roxy kisses Kim, and is like "nah I don't care Kim" and dips. Yay.

The fight between Ramona and Roxy is well animated and fun to watch. I enjoyed it. It's alright.

What else... Um, Gideon has a backstory! Gideon isn't even his real name! And he's become the mega incel that he becomes because he got rejected by some girl in high school and this turned into his supervillain origin story. Okay

Lucas Lee does skateboarding and skateboards some paparazzosi to coindeath! Go him! That is genuinely a fun sequence and I enjoyed it, I guess

Wallace Wells seduces Todd Ingram and they have a lot of hot gay vegan sex! He and Envy Adams sorta fight about it! How wacky! Okay

The Katayanagi Twins get some speaking lines in this show! Their robot (which appeared in the comic but not the movie if I remember right) is around. Um.

Julie! Julie is an old school friend of Gideon. She lets him stay at her house. Gideon/Gordon and Lucas Lee do some bro shit. Cool man

All of this is like, fine, and fun, and stuff. I'm fine with it. I liked it. I enjoyed it. Oh and I guess there's a meta subplot about the Scott Pilgrim movie becoming the Scott Pilgrim movie but failing to become the Scott Pilgrim movie because the actors keep having too many video game fights on the movie set

Okay so this is all stuff that Ramona finds out or sorta bumbles into while looking for Scott, who she's surmised has disappeared and is not actually dead. Of course, Scott is not actually dead. He's just been kidnapped and displaced in time by an older version of himself, who is having a midlife crisis because his relationship with Ramona is going badly and he wishes that it had never happened, so he kidnaps young Scott to make it so that it never happened. This does not really work. Also future Ramona does some of her own intervening in the past to counter the plot of future Scott. She has Delorean rollerblades that time travel at 88 miles per hour *rolls eyes*

Anyway, then older older Scott has a fight with younger younger Scott, future Ramona intervenes and merges with younger Ramona to become a super form Ramona and they're just like "my beloved Scott, please, just go back to the future and sort out our marriage, like a responsible adult," he is teleported back to the future, all the exes are not coinexploded, and we get a final scene implying that Julie and Gideon/Gordon are planning something which will lead into a second season, and I don't know why

Why is any of this?

I could analyze it. I could try to tell you why any of this is. But like. I really can't. I don't know.

None of this really advances or develops the characters in any way that wasn't already adequately explored in the existing material. Like, Roxy's hangup over Ramona is fleshed out a bit more, sure, and that's the part of the show I really liked, but... is there anything to that? Does it add anything to Roxy's character that we didn't already know? Not really. We could already pretty easily infer from the comics that Ramona left Roxy, just like she left all her exes, and that Roxy is mad about it. Is it nice that they talk about it? I guess. Sure. It's nice to have a version of that conversation without Scott being the third wheel. But does it meaningfully change her character?

...No

And this is the same for all the characters. Our understanding of Matthew Patel and Gideon Graves is not particularly deepened by their incel dickmeasuring fight, or Gideon's origin story about getting rejected in high school. Our understanding of Lucas Lee is not especially enhanced by the newly revealed detail that he's a headache for his agent because of his reckless wild free devil may care skater dude attitude causing PR risks. Our understanding of Wallace Wells is not amazingly additioned by seeing him seduce Todd Ingram and piss off Envy Adams. Our understanding of Knives doesn't change when she learns how to play music and gets along with Kim and Stephen... And such and so forth.

And our understanding of Scott does not meaningfully change, either. There's really no radically new character interpretation to be drawn from "Scott divorces Ramona and then tries to undo his past". That's just kind of a thing you'd figure he'd do. And of course Ramona would try to set him straight! And look for him! And. Yeah

So yeah, Takes Off feels like, almost, the definition of that phrase that Dan Olson used in that one video

"No meaning, only lore."

I cannot fathom why this show exists other than that Netflix wanted a Scott Pilgrim show, and Bryan Lee O'Malley decided to pitch one because he's sure as hell not got any other big hit comics being cross-media franchises right now, and the plot that ended up being there feels like his end of the entire writing process was spent wracking his brain, fighting for his life to come up with a reason, any reason, to write more of fucking Scott Pilgrim

And the best he could come up with was, I guess, Scott has a midlife crisis, and also more superfluous character detail, and the fanservice angle of getting to see Ramona fight Roxy, or Gideon fight Matthew, or Lucas Lee skateboard more

I had a lot of fun seeing all that but I don't know why I watched it. I don't know who wanted this. And I definitely don't know who wants a second season of this. Who would want more of this? The season we do have was already grasping for straws to do more with this setting and these characters as it was. What would they even do?

Anyway. If I was gonna rewrite this and write this smarter. I'd probably tell y'all about the moment when Young Neil is trying to write a screenplay, and some mysterious figure (later revealed to be future Ramona) shows up in his room and types up the screenplay for the Scott Pilgrim movie for him. And then he wakes up, the screenplay is on his desk, and he's like "WHOA I don't remember writing this! I totally wrote this!"

And I'd say, if I were trying to be smart and write some smart video essay analogy in a better more polished review, that Takes Off feels like Bryan Lee O'Malley wished that the script for the show would similarly emerge fully formed from nowhere from the future for him.

Or something.

Anyway, thanks for reading this impromptu, review rant something. If you liked whatever this was, and want to see us write more, better things, then, giving us money would be cool.

Patreon | Ko-fi

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #joyce stick #audrey (of the joystick system) posts #essays #reviews #I didn't like it very much

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revlischarm · 2 years

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tell me more about your Morro in the lmk universe I wanna read

Ahhhh okay okay!! I’m honestly thrilled that people seem to be enjoying this so much, I haven’t really been able to talk to anyone about this haha. All my old Ninjago friends have left, rip.

Under the cut is a good chunk of info on the au—just random tidbits for the most part, though.

• Morro can’t do any delivery work at first due to his stab wound, but later he’s able to!

• Not the greatest when it comes to customer service, so Morro tends to keep to himself when working around Pigsy’s shop.

• For the most part, Morro cleans up the shop and looks after everything.

• Morro 100% calls MK “Red ninja” and “Kai” on more than one occasion. And when he meets Red Son, his brain decides to chime in with “holy shit are these the Red Ninja’s real parents??”

- Morro doesn’t believe in that conspiracy theory but he’s not dismissing it either

• Mei and Morro are matching green streak besties!!

- Mei finds out that Morro is horribly out of touch with modern…well, everything, and takes it upon herself to educate him

- It’s a lot and it’s overwhelming sometimes

• Morro and Tang get along really well! He likes reading through Tang’s journals and books in his free time, as well as listen to Tang’s rants. It’s very informative!

• Morro’s body seems to be determined to always wake up at sunrise no matter what, and he inadvertently wakes up MK too sometimes

• Morro still does Sunrise Exercises—as conflicted as he feels about Wu, he still recognizes that it’s a good way to start off the day. Stretching good!

• Morro can’t cook for shit lol. Pigsy’s trying to teach him, at least.

- The only thing Morro can make really, really well is tea. He lived with Wu for years growing up, this dude absolutely slaps at making an incredible pot(?? Tea terms?) of that hot leaf juice

• I don’t fucking know what kind of weapon to give Morro. At first I considered a broom, but idk, it’s not vibing with me? A staff would fit him really well plus aid his powers, however there’s already like three characters who use staffs and it feels redundant if I give Morro one too. I’ll take suggestions I guess?

- Update from the future: he’s keeping the broom

• When Red Son and Morro first met in s1 episode 1, Morro used his wind powers and was out of sight of Red Son and Red Son whipped around and. They didn’t see Morro at first and let out a startled “Mother?!” because it’s wind and that’s what came to mind and just. Mei and MK will never let Red live that down lmao

• Morro uses makeup to conceal his eye markings! I personally headcanon that if Morro was revived, they’d be more like scar’s around his eyes? Pale and stuff, you know? But when I was making the art, it didn’t look well at all in the LMK style, so I decided to go with the more recognizable green markings after a fucking lot of trial and error, it took me a hot second to find a look that worked holy shit

• Morro and MK are he/they buddies

• MK and Mei’s energy is. A lot sometimes for Morro to handle. But it can also be endearing!

• Oh yeah also Morro does reveal early on that he has wind powers, albeit not intentionally. He’s just cleaning up around the shop and instinctively uses his wind to dust off a table and you know. Draws attention to himself.

• Morro also tells the gang about Ninjago and what it’s like there (from what he can remember, anyways), and explains the whole fucking. “Long before time had a name” bit too. Tang is very invested in all the lore and takes avid notes.

• Morro is extremely cagey about a lot of things, though, particularly pertaining to his past. He steers clear of the topic of family and will mention snippets of his childhood. Sometimes he’ll be talking about something and let slip a detail and then have to awkwardly elaborate on it.

• Eventually Morro will confess that he did some…unsavory things in the past, because he feels bad about it and also feels like he’s deceiving everyone by not telling them. He’s not specific with anything, he’s as vague as he can be, but at least they mention they weren’t exactly the best person before.

• One thing Morro is adamant be kept under wraps is the fact that he died like 2 or 3 times—he does not want anyone knowing about that, and refuses to tell anyone in the group about it. It’s part of the reason why he covers up the marks around his eyes—where he comes from, those are a very recognizable sign of possession/being cursed, so he hides them.

• Morro is a very hard worker, and he also never knows what to do with his free time when he has it.

• Mei and MK are his younger siblings now and Morro is protective (although he’s in denial that he’s protective lmao)

• Ask before touching Morro in any way, they’re very twitchy about being touched without warning

• Morro keeps his old clothes from when he showed up here in a box in MK’s room; he takes the pendant from it and wears it as a necklace, though. (I wanted to give him some flair)

• Once Morro’s gotten more comfortable with everyone, he does eventually elaborate on his childhood/family situation a bit more—from his perspective, at least. I drew a doodle of it a while ago, actually.

• They refuse to connect the line between themself and Wu out of spite and also because they’ve got. A lot of complicated feelings on Wu.

- So he just has himself hovering under Wu lmao

• Morro can sometimes be vague with details about you know, Lloyd and Wu and all that. He focuses more on personality for some things and facts for others. It’s a touchy topic on occasion.

• Oh boy Morro does not do well on any kind of water-related adventures. He votes himself out of anything involving them.

- Like Morro gets along fine with Sandy! They bond over tea and the therapy cats do wonders for Morro, it’s just that Morro. Refuses to get on any sort of boat and generally avoids water activities as a whole.

• Morro is frankly amazed at how easy it is to acquire food nowadays—like, how readily available it is. You just go into a store and buy food and you don’t even have to prepare it??

• Morro owns a phone but it’s fairly old school and he only uses it for like. Taking pictures, calling, texting, maps…basic phone stuff.

• There’s stuff that happens with Macaque that I’ll get to later because Macaque just so happens to be one of my favorite LMK characters and thus. I am going to involve him with Morro (not in a weird way, I just mean they’re gonna interact)

• I don’t wanna dive into anything Season 3 related only because I know it came out recently

- Cut to me a few seconds ago looking up to find out just how recent Season 3 aired and being smacked in the face with the information it was fucking this year?? I did not. I don’t realize it was so recent. Holy fuck I’m gonna have to hold back on any Season 3 details for a bit (or at least mark them as spoilers) until it’s been more widely seen

• Anyways Morro doesn’t trust Monkey King from the get-go. He’s got past trauma relating to mentors that tell a kid “Oh you’re gonna be great and powerful or whatever” and he’s fucking suspicious

• OH. ALSO. Don’t mention any words like “fate” or “destiny” around Morro because those are trigger words, and by trigger words I mean triggering his fucking intent to kill

- Talks shit about destiny all the time, is very vocal about how he thinks it’s total bs

Uhhh I’m sure I’ve got more of this milling around in my head somewhere but here’s what’s coming to mind atm!! I’ll definitely add more onto this later—and feel free to shoot any questions my way you might have about the au! I’m still figuring it out tbh, haha.

#revlis speaks #ask #ninjago #lego ninjago #nsg #nsg au #noodle shop ghost #noodle shop ghost au

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tmntxthings · 2 years

Text

Orange Graffiti Pt. 3

author’s note: mmmkay, so I know the foot clan general makes foot soldiers from paper, but I’m pretty sure later on they start recruiting actual people, so that’s where I’m going with this c: hope it all makes sense!

warnings: angst, betrayal, flashbacks, multi pov, unedited, violence

previous - next

—————————————————————————

It had been a week since you last saw Mikey. You said you’d see him later, but you didn’t know when that would be.

It bugged you how much Raph disliked you… though he had his reasons. They all did. And at this point you couldn’t help but regret everything that you had done. At the time you had felt like you had no choice. But you had been wrong.

You sighed thinking back to the past. Last year had been a rough one for you. You were down on your luck and on your own when you had first joined the foot clan. You hadn’t really belonged anywhere and when you joined the perks seemed immediate.

You had people around you who felt similarly. They knew what it was like to be ostracized, an outcast. You had a home with them and they could provide for everyone, food, new clothes, anything you needed they could get. Obviously because they stole everything.

At some point thievery became natural. The world didn’t give a shit about you so why would you care about it? You were still a low ranking member, but as long as you were a part of the foot clan you would do anything they asked. And one night they had asked a lot from you.

You were to go undercover, and spy on the enemy that had kept getting in their way. The turtles. Now you had never seen them before, but the briefing made it clear that they weren’t humans, literal mutant turtles that were a dangerous threat to the people and place you called home.

You’re mind was warped into believing most things your upper ranking members said. But when the foot clan generals had specifically chosen you for this mission, you felt special and wanted to prove yourself.

So undercover you went, losing the foot mask, and all the dark clothing. You were set up to be a civilian that the foot clan would ‘capture.’ The trap was very elaborate and your orders were to get close to the turtles, and find out where their lair was.

Your acting had been perfect, but really all you needed was to think back on past memories, you had been captured before. The crying and trembling, the screaming and fighting had all felt like a real life flash back. So when an orange turtle came into view, speaking in a soft tone as to not frighten you, you found yourself waking up from the past nightmares.

“It’s okay, they’re not gonna hurt you anymore.” To make it more believable the foot had asked if you were willing to take a beating in front of the turtles. You had bowed your head, willing to do anything they asked. You had dark bruises everywhere, rope burns from struggling against your binds, and you had found out that you had internal bleeding later on.

“I’m gonna cut these now,” the turtle said, you watched as he released you from the pole you had been tied to. You slumped to the ground when nothing was holding you up. It seemed he hadn’t expected that when your knees made contact as he lurched forward to stop you from falling down completely.

“Sorry sorry,” he said worried as he gingerly picked you up. “Man you’re lighter than a toothpick!” He commented out of nowhere. You had always been skinny, maybe a better word was malnourished. “Alright now, ima go help my brothers, I’ll be right back!” You hadn’t even realized the fight was still going on.

Why had he come and helped you when his brothers were still in the middle of a fight?? The strategy didn’t make sense to you. One of his own could’ve been easily injured, the foot clan didn’t go down without a fight and they had said they would make sure the turtles knew how precious you were to them. By fighting like hell, and using dirty tactics.

They hadn’t come out completely unscathed. The orange’s green skin looked splotchy in some spots, a darkening green color forming. The blue had puffy eyes, probably from the blinding spray, it would wear off in a couple of hours. The purple one was limping slightly. The red was banged up the worst though. He had taken the brunt force of the attacks it seemed, the protector. He had a couple of cuts, down his arms which were bleeding, a swollen black eye, and bruises that rivaled the orange ones.

“Thank you for saving me,” you rasped. Your throat was shot from screaming. They all smiled, asking if you could stand, where you lived, if you needed a hospital. They seemed to really care for your wellbeing even though you were a complete stranger. You wobbled to your feet, not wanting to be completely cared for because it was already tearing at your soul… the lying… the manipulating. And it only got worse.

。・゜・( pov change: mikey )・゜・。

When Mikey had agreed to let you leave, he thought he would see you the next day. He had waited out in the sewers at the usual time you would appear, he was riding on his skateboard, humming a song to himself as it echoed around him and down the sewer hallways.

Mikey had been ignoring Raph that day, and only when he had been leaving the lair did he holler, “going see Y/n!” And bolted before anyone could stop him. Leo and Donnie had become used to it and they weren’t as overbearing as Raph was. They were all still really protective of their youngest brother but Raph especially.

An hour passed by and Mikey sighed. Seemed like you weren’t coming today, maybe you were busy with surface stuff. As each day passed and the same thing happened, he finally realized you weren’t coming any time soon. Maybe even never again and boy was he pissed.

“RAPH” Mikey yelled and his oldest brother came running, full of worry. “What’s wrong?!” He said as he rounded a corner full speed. Coming right up to his little brother giving his body a once over for wounds. The look on Mikey’s face had Raph giving himself a step back.

“Y/n hasn’t come to see me in a week.” On the one hand Mikey was worried, but he knew you could take care of yourself. So it left him with the sinking feeling that he was being ditched because of what Raph had said. “Oh..” Raph sounded surprised.

He hadn’t thought all it would take for you to quit leeching off of his brother would be to say something to your face. Raph couldn’t see how Mikey could ever trust you. The past was too raw for him, he remembered every injury that he and his brothers had taken for you. To save you, time and time again.

“I’m going to the surface to find them.” Mikey said as a matter of fact. Raph was immediately against it. “If they ain’t coming then maybe you should just leave them be.” Though Raphael knew that wouldn’t be enough to deter Mikey. Yet this time, having to say something mean to his little brother felt almost impossible.

“I don’t care what you think Raph, I’m going.” As Mikey turned he heard his older brother sigh before he said, “maybe they don’t think your friendship is worth fighting for.” It was like Raph had punched him in the plastron. But even if that was the truth, Mikey needed to hear it from your lips. Not Raph’s.

“Maybe so Raph, but-“ Mikey’s voice cracked as he thought of all the fun times the two of you had together. All the smiles he had coaxed out of you from the beginning, to how easy they came now. Sure the relationship between the two of you started out very rocky, but Mikey knew you were a good person. He knew the moment you confessed what evil plans the foot had for them. How you had been a part of it and how you didn’t expect them to ever trust you again. You had placed the tracking device in Donnie’s hands, and ran.

It had been the moment they decided to trust you enough to bring you to their lair. As they had made the turn into the alleyway, you had stopped dead in your tracks, tears in your eyes. Mikey’s heart had broken that day, he was sure everyone’s had. But where everyone else saw betrayal, Mikey had seen your compassion.

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quidfree · 6 months

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It's mentioned in one of the extras in bnha (by Horikoshi himself) that Bakugou isolates himself on the path to greatness as a defence mechanism since he's actually a sensitive soul...

You've written the 🌟best🌟 true to character Bakugou in all the fanfics I've ever read, so I wanted to ask how you balance Bakugou's brashness with his sensitivity, and his harshness with his specific brand of kindness. He has strong moral code/values that he staunchly follows but that's still different from the occasional bouts of care he shows to people.

Thank you 😊

hmm you know i don't know if i think that's the best 'in' to bakugou's character because while he is sensitive to a degree (dramatic crier, big emotions, not a bad people reader if he cares) i really feel like that quote is sort of overplaying that angle. bakugou's definitely got his depths but i'm leery of leaning too far into the idea he's some kind of scintillating empath that no one gets.

in terms of characterisation i'm glad you feel that way! i've written breakdowns of my characterisation before so those would be a good starting point on my analysis. but to your specific points, and focusing on teen canon bakugou:

so his base attitude is like….. constant intense commitment to his goals (🤝bakudeku) mixed with pretty solid awareness of self (will elaborate). which means at repose he’s just super serious & then you layer in the brash persona (not feigned, just exaggerated and sometimes blustering, lot of it comes from (unjustly lol) holding everything to his standard). that’s base level bakugou i think. he gets half the personality from his mom & the other is all his.

by self aware i don’t mean he’s like psychologically healthy. but he has a good grasp of his own abilities and skills. early days his blind spot are his limitations but that’s mostly bc up to that point he’s never been confronted with the fact he has any. that’s why he’s allowed so much arrogance / confidence, even when facing down sports fest or the league. he knows what he can do. rmr even early on he got worried when seeing todoroki’s abilities; he’s pissed at him at sports fest bc he’s well aware that would have been a fair fight. by now in canon that’s obviously reached a more mature self-awareness.

ig that’s kind of tied to the sensitivity point. i think bakugou isn’t bad with people; he does have a good read on them & has established leadership skills (amplified once he stops being so domineering; he and izuku have long been coded as 1A coleaders). that said younger bakugou certainly did not give a shit abt other people’s interiority so hes not exactly a bleeding heart lol. i think he’s more perceptive than empathetic (can understand but does not relate), which colors his nicer moments- and i say that with love, bc i think that’s more interesting.

bakugou is just a harsh / brash guy- very direct, abrupt and in your face with it. that’s his fighting style, his personal style, his communication style, even his choice of hobbies; he doesn’t tolerate wishy washy bullshit and isn’t one for niceties. that said he can keep in line / watch his approach around authority figures, bc he’s a pretty pragmatic guy. that also comes thru in his fighting. he will mouth off within reason.

the interpersonal struggle for him is that in UA he was forced out of his top dog role real quick and it made him extra aggro/tsundere bc he spent way too long only interacting w peers from a superior position or as extras, so having to connect on a genuine level w people he would once have seen as below him feels weird and overly exposing. it obviously starts going better for him as development marches on, especially when there’s like a concrete common goal involved. i think he’s consciously trying to find a happy medium by later in canon- see the ‘casual’ way he hangs around cracking jokes abt dabi when they’re trying to support todoroki, snarky but present. from what i gather his current default is to veer overly serious but that’s also bc canon is very Dark and Serious rn.

the moral code thing is funny bc OG flavor bakugou has less of that and more of an understanding of the rules he’s playing by to win. the league disgusts him bc theyre baddies yes but also bc they’re losers. bc bakugou at that point is an asshole teen bully who told his childhood bestie he was less than nothing as a daily hobby, and i don’t doubt that he could have gone down the endeavor route had he not had common sense knock him around a few significant times. that said he does certainly always have sort of a personal code of, idk, self-discipline and aiming to exceed all expectation, but that ties back to what i’ve already addressed. anyways by present day he’s obviously recalibrated his moral compass massively but it’s always most interesting to me in the minor personal detail- for example, his kneejerk “my mom used to knock me around and i’m fine!” reaction to justify beating kids up but then begrudgingly letting todoroki lead their approach because he recognises his input on the subject. it’s consistent writing because it’s not that he’s a perfect saint now, but he is growing.

this is very long and very late, but tldr those are my takes on your questions!

to me bakugou is one of the best written parts of bnha, but he is a complicated character to get right if you don’t have a good handle on why he works so well- i don’t know if i’ve made that more or less confusing for you but i’m hoping the latter.

#qui parle #qui repond #anon #katsuki bakugou #bnha #ref #writing #qui ecrit

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