#i’m good! been very tired and catching up on snoozes but awake and lively today

[hisoknen]

Omg it's Toph themself on the tumbler!!!!!! HI <3333 HRU!!!

MONO BELOVED im squeezing you!! you and your lil bb pup come here rn rn

#i’m good! been very tired and catching up on snoozes but awake and lively today #which means i can bully you >:) #come here #dear mono

[berrynarrybanana]

deck the halls pt. 3

A/N: This one is a little shorter, and it has a lot of angst and sadness towards the end, and I can’t promise that it’s going to get better as the story goes on, but I do promise there is a happy ending. Please enjoy this little chapter filled with soft Harry (Until he’s not) and let me know what you think of the story so far. I love you all bunches, and thank you for reading!

Word Count: 5k 

Warnings: Angst, mentions of smut, mentions of bisexuality and naughty things.....hehe

November 12 

Harry woke up with Holland’s head tucked into his chest. 

For a brief moment, he was actually confused by the body pressed into his side. It had been ages since a girl had stepped foot in his flat, and even longer since one stayed the night in his bed. His eyes took a second to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom as Holland stirred, pushing her nose further into the collar of his shirt with a tiny whimper. Harry turned his head, softly shushing her as he pressed a firm kiss to her hairline. He let his palm rub up and down the center of her back before he tightened his arm around her body to keep her close. 

For the first time in sixteen years, Harry didn’t have a nightmare about Holland or Jack Frost. 

So far as he knew, he didn’t even have a dream at all. 

He closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet scent of Holland as his lips curved into a smirk. He pressed a soft series of kisses over her hairline and her forehead as he slipped his hand to her upper back. He felt her fingers tighten in his shirt, pulling it just a little as her whimpers turned to soft hums. He still couldn’t believe that she was really here, living just across the hall from him. 

Never in his life did he imagine they would be tucked in bed together like this, holding her while she slept peacefully. For years, he was convinced that he was absolutely insane, hoping that some girl from a nightmare existed in real life, but as he continued to feel her chest rise and fall beneath his palm, he felt sane and calm. She was here, alive, and beautiful. He couldn’t ask for anything more than this right here….

Except for one thing. 

His parents. 

He could only imagine how his Mum would take to Holland, the two women similar in more ways than just one. The two would probably have Harry running around without his wits, hanging up decorations and baking dozens of cookies during the Christmas season. If he closed his eyes, he could see his Mum standing next to Holland in the kitchen, both mixing their own separate bowls of chocolate chip cookies to see who had the better recipe. Harry’s heart ached at the thought, but this time, it wasn’t in pain. It was a weird feeling that made him feel almost happy and hopeful instead of angry.

“It’s still dark outside.” Holland muttered, her voice quiet and scratchy. “Why are you awake?”

“I could ask you the same, couldn’t I?” He whispered, clearing his throat. “I was just thinking, that’s all.”

“What were you thinking about?” She lifted her head, pressing her chin to the back of her hand, her fingers digging into Harry’s pectoral muscle in a delectable way. “Thinking about me?”

“Might be, yeah.” He chuckled, sliding his right hand under his head to prop himself up so that he could properly look at her. “You look really pretty in the morning.”

“You’re being silly.” Holland lazily rolled her eyes at Harry, but he just frowned back at her as if he was offended by her words. “I probably look really gross, Harry.”

“Shut your pretty mouth right now.” He said, his voice raising in pitch ever so slightly. “I think you’re bloody gorgeous, and I’ll not hear another word about it.”

“See, I knew you were a big softie.” She chuckled, ducking her forehead down to the back of her hand as Harry’s faux expression of offense faded. “You’re a little rough around the edges, but I know who you are on the inside, Harry Styles.”

“Do you?” He asked, watching as she lifted her head up with a quick nod. “Who is that?”

“You have the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever known.” She whispered. “And you would do anything for the people you love, even Niall.”

“That’s a bit far.” Harry snorted, rolling his eyes again. “Let's not be dramatic.”

“You would do anything for him, I know it.” Holland pinched Harry’s side gently. “I know that you’re scared of living your life to the fullest because something terrible happened to you...but I promise that no matter what life throws at you, you’ll be alright.”

“How do you know that?” Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat, watching Holland press her lips together to hide a smile. “You are a psychic, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not.” She laughed. “But I do consider myself an expert on all things Harry Styles. I’ve known you for sixteen years, even if I haven’t really known you. No one else that I know would try to continuously save a drowning girl in a nightmare if they didn’t care about life and the people around them. You try so hard to act like you don’t care, but I know that you do.”

“Now I’m starting to think that you’re like, worse than a bloody psychic.” He mumbled, trying to lighten the mood. “Sometimes I feel like you can see right into my soul.”

“Something like that.” She mumbled, avoiding his gaze. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Harry paused, looking at the ceiling as Holland rested her cheek on his chest again. 

“I’ve never really thought about it.” He hummed softly. “But I would really like it if they were real.”

“Would you want me to be your soulmate if they were?” She yawned at the end of her sentence, sliding her palm just above Harry’s beating heart.

“Yeah, actually.” He whispered, tilting his chin down as he felt her smile against his chest. “I would pick you every time, no questions asked.”

“Why?” Her voice was slowly fading. 

“Because…” He licked over his lips, inhaling. “Because sometimes I feel like you’re my other half in a very literal sense. I feel everything you do, or at least I think that I do. I know when you’re upset, and when you’re happy. I can feel when you’re close by, and I can feel when you’re far away. I would pick you because...well, you’re a piece of myself that I’ve always wanted to find again.”

“Here I am.” She giggled softly. “You found me.”

“No, darling.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “You found me.”

Harry felt himself start to drift off with Holland, his eyes closing as the sound of sirens starting blaring in the distance. Holland didn’t budge, and neither did Harry. 

For the first time in sixteen years, he felt at peace. 

                                                ❄️❄️❄️❄️

Holland’s POV

Someone was knocking on Harry’s door. 

Holland lifted her head, her blurry eyes trailing over his tired face. 

He was still in a deep sleep, his lips parted as a small bit of drool collected at the corner of his lips. She smiled, kissing his chin before she quickly pulled away from his body. She slipped out of his bed, stumbling around in the dim morning light until she found the bedroom door. She sprinted down the hallway, unlocking the knob and pulling the chain down before opening the door with a wide, but sleepy smile. 

“Good morning, Gemma.” Holland looked at Harry’s sister before her eyes trailed down to the little boy buckled into a pram. “Oh, hello there!”

“Hi.” The little boy waved a chubby hand, his gummy smile pulling at Holland’s heart strings. 

“Is...where is Harry?” Gemma peered around Holland’s shoulder, but she didn’t see her grumpy brother coming down the hall. “Is he home?”

“He’s still asleep.” Holland moved aside, holding her arm out. “He didn’t even budge when you knocked.”

“That’s unlike him.” Gemma mumbled, pushing the pram into Harry’s flat. “He’s usually a restless sleeper.”

“So am I, but we had a really nice snooze last night.” Holland chuckled, shutting the door behind them before crossing her arms over her chest. “I can go wake him up-”

“Don’t it’s okay.” Gemma turned back to Holland, biting at the inside of her cheek before she looked down at her son. “He deserves a good bit of rest.”

His eyes were glued to Holland, as if he was absolutely mesmerized by the mystical woman. 

“Are you good with kids?” Gemma asked. 

“I have five brothers and sisters.” Holland chuckled, nodding her head. “There’s even one that’s probably about the same age as this handsome young man, actually. Her name is Avery.”

“Oh.” Gemma was almost shocked by the number. “That’s a lot of kids.”

“It is.” Holland shrugged. “But I love having a big family, so I don’t mind. Did you want me to take him off of your hands until Harry is up?”

“I don’t want to be a bother-”

“Nonsense, Gemma.” Holland waved her hand about. “What’s his name?”

“Noah.” Gemma watched Holland as she crouched in front of her two year old, a bright smile on her face. 

“Hi Noah, I’m Holland.” She said. “But you can call me Holly if that’s easier.”

“Holly, hi.” Noah said. “Holly, hi.”

“Hi.” Holland chuckled, reaching out to tickle his side. “You’re a lovely little lad, aren’t you? All smiles, just like your Mum.”

“Mum.” Noah looked back at his mother with a beaming smile. “Mum, hi!”

“Holy fuck.” Gemma whispered, catching Holland's attention. “Holland, he’s never been able to say anything other than Harry and Hi.”

“Really?” Holland gasped, looking back at Noah. “You’re making Mum proud today, aren’t you?”

“Mum!” Noah cheered the name again, lifting his hands towards Holland. “Mum, hi!”

“You’re an angel.” Gemma mumbled. “Or like, a miracle worker.” 

“Nope, just really good with babies and kids.” Holland laughed as she started to unbuckle Noah from his pram. “If you need to go, you can. I’ll probably take him back to Harry so they can both nap for a little longer.”

“I think I love you.” Gemma blinked at Holly, watching as she settled her son onto her hip with a soft laugh. “I owe you big time, Holland.”

“You owe me nothing.” Holland reached out, taking the diaper bag from Gemma’s shoulder. “You should get going so you aren’t late for work.”

“Um, yeah.” Gemma nodded. “Harry can reach me if he needs anything, and if he can’t get ahold of me just tell him to ring Niall. He’s got Noah’s schedule down pretty well and he knows all of the emergency numbers-”

“Go, Gemma.” Holland instructed. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, okay.” She nodded, walking around the pram to place a kiss on Noah’s forehead. “You be good for Holly and Uncle Knobhead, okay?”

“Harry!” Noah cheered out. “Holly, hi!

“I love you.” Gemma kissed his forehead one more time before shooting Holland another grateful glance. “Thanks, Holly.” 

“Anytime!” 

Holland waved Gemma off before looking down at Noah with a bright smile. 

“You seem like a smart lad, Noah.” Holland said. “Do you want to hear some stories about Santa and his elves?”

“Santa!” Noah cheered. 

“That’s the Christmas spirit I’m looking for.” 

                                               ❄️❄️❄️❄️

Harry’s POV

When Harry opened his eyes a second time that morning, Holland was gone. 

Immediately, panic flooded his veins, and he shot up out of bed. 

He reached for his glasses as he fumbled from under the duvet, his feet hitting the ground with a thud before he moved towards his bathroom. He poked his head into the small room, his heart nearly stopping when he realized Holland wasn’t in there. So he took off down the hallway, towards the kitchen in a sprint. Halfway to the open concept living room/kitchen combination, he smelled something sweet. He stopped when he heard tiny giggles that sounded all too familiar. 

He waited for a beat, holding his breath as he heard Holland talking softly before the giggles started up again. Harry slowly moved forward, his eyes landing on Noah in his booster seat at the breakfast bar with Holland next to him, her body twisted towards the ginger haired toddler as he waved his little plastic fork around. Holland tossed her head back in a laugh when Noah gurgled something akin to a full sentence out of his mouth, but it was all gibberish. 

Harry smiled, shaking his head as he walked towards Holland. 

“You were supposed to stay in bed with me.” His morning voice rumbled through his chest, and both Holland and Noah snapped their heads back. 

“Harry, hi!” Noah cheered out, swinging his legs in his seat. 

“Hiya, bubs.” Harry’s palm landed on Holland’s back as he stood between the chairs, his lips going to the top of Noah’s head before he turned to look at Holland. “Did you make pancakes?”

“I did.” She nodded proudly, smiling up at Harry with bright eyes. “I also learned how to use a coffee pot, but I’m not sure exactly what coffee is supposed to taste like.”

“I’m sure it’s perfect.” Harry leaned forward, pressing his lips to Holland’s before pulling back ever so slightly. “I think I could get used to this.”

“The pancakes or-”

“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes, pressing another kiss to her lips. “You taste like maple syrup.”

“You could taste like maple syrup if you fixed yourself a plate, Harry.” Holland giggled, ducking her chin down in an attempt to avoid more kisses from him. “Harry-”

“Why would I do that if I could just keep doing this?” He asked, pouting his lips out ever so slightly. “Holland, please.” 

“Later.” She said, pressing her palm to his warm and sturdy chest. “I was thinking that we could take Noah out to the park today, and maybe to visit Niall.”

“I don’t want to see Niall on my day off.” Harry groaned, dropping his head back. “He’s such a wanker.”

“Wanker!” Noah cheered out, a giggle following after. “Wanker!” 

Harry snapped his head around to Noah before looking at Holland with wide eyes. 

“Did...he...when did he learn that?” Harry squeaked out. “Mate, don’t let your third word be wanker, your Mum will kill me.”

“That wasn’t his third word.” Holland popped a maple syrup drenched piece of pancake into her mouth, smirking at Harry. “Holland was his third and-”

“Mum!” Noah called out. “Mum!”

“That was his third.” Holland pointed towards Noah as Harry blinked at her, his eyes still wide and slightly glazed over. “I think you might need some coffee, gumdrop.”

“Yeah, I might.” He mumbled. “I missed all of that in just a few hours?”

“You needed some rest, Harry, it’s fine.” Holland laughed, eating a few more pieces of pancake as Noah tried his best to spear one piece with his plastic fork. 

“You did too, but you were up making enough pancakes to feed the royal fucking family.” He looked down at the plate, and then back at Holland. “Why did you make so many?”

“I only know a few pancake recipes and they’re all for my family.” She shrugged. “There are a bunch of us, so it makes sense.”

Harry looked back at Holland as he reached for the coffee pot, a curious gaze on his face as she continued to eat her pancakes in silence. He watched her munch on the sickeningly sweet breakfast food, soft little hums tumbling from her lips as she got lost in her own little world. His chest felt warm, and his hands were shaky as he poured himself a cup of coffee. 

“You’re not gonna put anything in that?” Harry watched Holland sit up on the leg that she had tucked under her bum, peering at his up as he lifted it. “That’s gross.”

“It’s not gross at all.” He rolled his eyes. “We don’t all have an obsession with sugar.” 

“I don’t have an obsession, Harry, I just prefer sugar.” She shook her head at him, stabbing her pancake.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He hummed out, reaching for a plate as Holland giggled to herself. “What’s so funny?”

“You help me sleep at night, gumdrop.” He glanced over at her, watching her cheeks tinge a darker shade of pink. “I guess I really do have to move in.” 

“Don’t tempt me.” Harry mumbled. “I’ll go across the hall right now.”

“Maybe after your pancakes and the park, gumdrop.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Oh, by the way, your sister said that she loves me. I think I’ve been adopted into your family!”

She’s not the only one that loves you, baby.

Harry bit his tongue, holding the words back. 

“Guess we’ll have to hang a stocking with your name on her mantle.” Harry mumbled, tossing a few pancakes onto his place. 

Holland beamed at him, her eyes just as soft as her smile. 

Yeah, Harry was definitely in love. 

                                                  ❄️❄️❄️❄️

November 14 Holland’s POV 

Holland and Harry ended up pushing their pizza date back a few days. 

They spent an entire day with Harry’s nephew, playing at the park and eating lunch in a small cafe just down the street from Harry’s record shop. Holland figured out that Harry actually owned the business, and that he’d been running it successfully for three years. He bought it after spending an entire year working morning, noon, and night. He spent most of his time babysitting Noah while interning for a digital media company, so most of his time was spent in Gemma’s flat. He saved up enough money to put the deposit down, and then he got a loan to buy off the rest. He broke even the first year, his shop booming with uni students and the like. 

Holland could see just how proud Harry was when he talked about the shop, and that little glimpse of passion for something other than Noah and Gemma told her a little more about Harry’s personality. He had a hard work ethic, and he chased after the things he wanted in life without hesitation. That was an extremely admirable trait for him to have, and Holland had to admit it made her want him just a little more than before. But it was only one of the things that had her head over heels for the long haired lad she’d been spending so much time with. 

Seeing him with Noah made her heart ache, but in a good way. 

Holland was only slightly afraid that she might not be able to have that kind of life with Harry. It sucked, but she had to think about the negative outcome that could occur if she didn’t get to work on increasing Harry’s Christmas Spirit. He was slowly coming around to certain things, and his little comment about hanging a stocking with Holland’s name on Gemma’s mantle made her think that maybe he was finally coming around to the idea...but then some kid in a santa hat nearly knocked him over at the park and he went right back to snarling about Christmas. 

It was two days later now, and they still hadn’t sat down for an official talk about everything that was going on. After their park day, Gemma had fallen asleep on Harry’s sofa before they got back with her son. Harry ended up tucking Gemma in his bed with Noah before sneaking off to Holland’s for a much needed night of peaceful sleep. The next morning, they decided to take Noah off of Gemma’s hands again, and they ended up going to the city part of London to be a bit more touristy. They rode the London Eye, and stood outside of Buckingham Palace with all of the other tourists visiting London. Harry hated it, but Holland and Noah loved every second. 

That night went exactly like the night before, but Gemma was awake when they returned to Harry’s flat. They ended up inviting Niall, Mitch, and Sarah over to enjoy some Indian takeout while they watched Frozen on Harry’s tv. Noah sat in Holland’s lap the whole time, and they both tuckered out about halfway through the movie. Niall quickly removed Noah from Holland’s grasp before tucking him into his pram with a thick blanket. After everyone left for the night, Harry cleared up the takeout containers before convincing Holland to climb into his bed. 

Now, she was sitting on his lap with her fingers pressing against his chest and he was dying. 

“Why are you awake? He groaned, tossing his arm over his eyes to block the bright light of the sun from his eyes. “It’s too early for you to be this happy.”

“I’m well rested, Harry!” She giggled, patting his pectoral muscles. “And I think I have a few ideas about our situation, but I need to go out for the day to figure them out.”

“Okay.” He slowly moved his arm. “I’ll go with you.”

“You work at the record store today, you can’t.” She shook her head, her ponytail swinging back and forth. She could see the look in Harry’s eyes when it did, the soft swaying catching his attention. “What?”

“Nothing.” He cleared his throat, adjusting his hips ever so slightly. “Um, Holland, you might want to get off of me.”

“Why?” She asked, tilting her head to the side as her fingers slipped down to his abdomen, resting gently by his butterfly. “Am I too heavy? Oh my garland, I’m so sorry!”

“No, you’re not too heavy, baby.” He grunted when she shifted her hips, her center brushing against his cock in a way that had his head spinning. “Fuck.”

“Oh.” Holland whispered, her lips pressing together in amusement and her eyes growing wide as she stopped in her tracks. “Pippa told me about this.”

“Oh my god.” Harry let out a breathless chuckle. “What is this exactly?”

“Um, your situation.” She glanced between them. “Back home, one of my friends named Eira dated this really mischievous elf, and he was a proper bad boy. He taught her a whole bunch of stuff, and she told me everything.”

“An elf?” Harry said slowly, his brows furrowing. “Holland-”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She lifted her hands to her lips, a soft gasp flying past her lips. “I keep forgetting that we still have to have the talk.” 

“Well, I’m a little more interested in this talk.” He sat up, brushing his lips against hers. “What exactly did Eira teach you?”

“Well, she just explained that sometimes guys get really...stiff when they’re attracted to someone, and that it’s a good thing.” Holland shrugged. “She also told me about blowjobs and like...other things, but I swore I’d never talk about that because we could definitely get in trouble.”

“What do other things mean, baby?” His brows lifted as he looked at Holland’s bright pink cheeks. “You’re not gonna get in trouble with me, I promise, but if you’re not comfortable talking to me about it then you don’t have to.”

“Harry.” She said his name softly, ducking her head down. “I can’t really say, because it was more of a demonstration if you know what I mean.”

“Did she go down on you?” Harry asked, his lips curving into a smirk as Holland’s lips parted, her breath stuck in her throat. 

Holland wasn’t that innocent. 

There were a few boys back in the Pole that she’d kissed, but she’d never done anything sexual….not until Eira. She was the only person that Holland felt comfortable showing that side to. They were just friends, and though Holland found Eira very attractive, she knew that they would never actually date. Eira was more of a lone wolf kind of gal, and she didn’t plan on settling down with someone like Holland. She preferred more seasoned people with experience, because teaching really wasn’t her thing. 

“Um, kind of.” She c;eared her throat, lifting her hand up to scratch at the back of her neck as Harry’s smile grew. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“I thought you were so innocent.” He whispered. “And it was hot, believe me, but this information might make you slightly hotter.” 

“Shut up.” Holland groaned, dropping her head forward to rest on his shoulder. “I’m technically a princess, Harry, I’m not meant to be with anyone before my husband.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun, Holland.” Harry brushed his palms up and down her back, his lips pressing soft kisses into her shoulder. “You weren’t doing anything wrong.”

“Thanks, gumdrop.” Holland lifted her head up, giving him a tiny smile. “You’re not upset with me, are you?”

“No, I’m not.” He reassured her, pressing his lips to hers. “I mean...I’m not exactly a saint, Holland. I’ve had my fair share of one night stands in the past.”

“And did you enjoy them?” She asked. 

“When I think about it now, not really…” He hummed out, tilting his head to the side. “But I remember liking it back then.” 

“Would you ever…” Holland felt the embarrassment creeping up, her face heating up again as Harry stared at her. “Would you ever want to do anything like that with me?”

He didn’t say anything, causing Holland to look down at her hands. 

She started picking at the polish on her nails, a soft burn starting behind her eyes. 

Of course someone like Harry wouldn’t want someone like her. 

She was a nuisance, and an intrusion in his life. She still had so much to learn about the modern world, and it wasn’t fair that she was dumping it all on Harry. He had a lot going on in his life, and it wasn’t his job to keep her entertained. She shifted on his thighs, suddenly uncomfortable in her own skin as his palms stopped rubbing against her back. 

“Look at me.” Harry whispered, the tone of his voice stern, but gentle. “Holland, show me your eyes, baby.”

“I don’t want to.” She whispered. “I’m embarrassed.”

“You don’t ever have to be embarrassed around me, Holland, I promise.” He slipped a hand around, gripping her chin lightly before he guided it up. “I would very much like to do that kind of stuff with you, I really would…”

“But-”

“But I’m so fucking scared to get too attached because I know where this is going, and I’m fucking petrified.” He inhaled, his jaw tensing up. “I already feel so much for you, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you as it is. If I give you that part of me, losing you will literally destroy me, and I won’t hesitate to go under that water with you.”

“You can’t do that to Gemma and Noah-”

“I know, that’s why I’m suggesting that we hold off on that aspect of our relationship.” He whispered, brushing his thumb over Holland’s chin. “Because even though I want that with you, I have to learn to be selfless for once in my life. It would be too much, and I’m a weak man when it comes to you baby.”

“Can I tell you something without you freaking out?” She asked, causing Harry to nod. “Do you remember when I asked you about soulmates?” 

“Yes.” He said softly. 

“The reason that we have shared dreams, and this strong connection, is because we’re like...the highest form of soulmate there can be.” She watched his face as she spoke. “Most souls are made from the ash of one star, but we were made from a really special star, so it’s really intense for us.”

“Why is our star so special?” He asked. 

“Because it’s the Christmas Star.” She looked into his eyes, holding her breath as his face twisted and contorted. “Your soul, and mine, are both souls with true Christmas spirit. It’s really rare for people to keep their Christmas spirit as they get older, but you still have a little left, and that’s what makes you vulnerable to Jack Frost.”

Harry stared back at her, his eyes trailing over his face as he tried to process her words. 

She could see the gears turning in his mind, the conflict clear on his face. 

“Harry?”

“I just need….” He shifted under Holland, and she moved until she was on the other side of the bed. She watched him slide off the mattress, his feet moving quicker than his mind. “I need some time, Holland.”

“Don’t shut me out.” She pleaded. “We need each other-”

“I don’t need anyone.” He snapped, turning back to look at her with wet eyes. “I don’t...I don’t need you.”

Holland felt her heart turn to ice as she stared at him. 

“My life was fine without you in it.” He said. “I didn’t ask for you to come here from whatever fucking dreamland you live in to remind me of the things I hate most in life. And you’re one big fucking reminder, Holland. I don’t see why Christmas is so fucking important to everyone or why it’s so important for me to like it!”

Holland flinched, shrinking in on herself as he paced at the foot of his bed. 

“Why do you hate it so much, Harry?” She asked. “What happened?”

“You don’t get to know.” He seethed, brushing his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, I can’t do this.”

“You have to, or-”

“I don’t care.” He shouted. “Whatever it is, I don’t care.”

Holland felt her eyes well up with tears, her fingers tense and her muscles tight. 

“Okay.” She said. “I’m gonna go.”

“I think that’s best.” He said, turning his back towards her before he walked into his bathroom, slamming the door shut. 

Holland felt the tears flowing down her cheeks before she even made it to her own flat. 

She knew that he was hurt, and this was his defense that he put up to protect his heart, but that didn’t make his words hurt any less. She knew that he cared about her, that he needed her just the same as she needed him. He just needed some time to learn these new feelings that he had, and Holland had to give him space to do that, even if it hurt. 

So she climbed into her bed, and she cried into her pillow until she fell asleep. 

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles christmas fic #harry styles original fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry imagine #harry one shot #harry writing #harry smut #harry fluff #long haired harry #deck the halls

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Forget Me Nots

A wealthy young man falls overboard while vacationing with friends only to find himself with amnesia and a pretty young wife who seems determined to remind him what hard work and dedication really mean.

Warnings: Strong language, angry Min Yoongi inaccurately portrayed based upon the writer’s imagination,angst, eventual super fluff.

Pairing: Eventual Min Yoongi x reader

Word count: 2911

A/n: So this one came out a bit longer than normal hehe. But like, it’s time yall. To wrap this bad boy up and say goodnight to this series. The next chapter with be the epilogue!~ It’s been a real pleasure writing even thoguh I had some very serious writer’s block going in. But it’s just gotten so much love and that alone made me want to come back and write it. Y/n and Yoongi have had quite the journey yeah? Anyway! Hope yall enjoy!

<<Chapter Nine---Epilogue>>

She glanced up, eyes widening at the zombie like figure that stumbled from the employee exit of Rose’s restaurant. She’d set out from home at the end of his shift, knowing he wouldn’t want to take public transit to get home but fully not expecting the sight that shuffled towards her now. His once navy work shirt was now stained and darkened from all manner of food stuff and his once minty fluff of hair was plastered half haphazardly to his forehead.

Shaking herself out of her stupor she moved to get out of the car but stopped when Yoongi yanked open the passenger door with the last of his strength and toppled into the seat with all the grace of a limp mannequin.

“Sh...are….are you okay?” She stared down at the soggy pile of rags, startling when a single eye stared up at her through his sweat stiffened bangs and mumbled a single word.

“Home.”

“Right…” Shifting in her seat she turned the key in the ignition, waiting patiently for Yoongi to close the door and put on his seatbelt before pulling out of the parking lot and into the busy evening traffic.

The atmosphere in the small vehicle was strained. Though she was pretty sure that it was mostly just her. That single exhausted stare had reminded her far too much of the first moment they’d spent together.

The anger and disgust he’d displayed when speaking to her was such a contrast to the sweet man that’s made dinner for her and asked about her day. Frankly she was terrified that despite the bonding they’d managed everything would go out the window the moment she said the wrong thing.

She glanced over at the young man curled up in the seat beside her when traffic paused at a red light. He’d tucked his legs beneath him somehow, head resting against the glass of the window as he stared out at the hustle and bustle of the street outside.

Their gazes met for the briefest of moments in the reflection of the window but she quickly averted her eyes and refocused her attention on the red light.

They still hadn’t spoken by the time she pulled into the driveway, each lost in their own quagmire of thoughts and emotions as she unlocked the front door. Luckily she’d let the dogs out into the backyard before she’d left so they weren't there to greet them when they walked inside.

She stepped to the side as Yoongi brushed past her at the door. He only paused long enough to kick his shoes off before making a beeline straight for the hallway leading back to their bedroom, presumably with the intent of taking a long and much needed hot shower.

Her fist curled around her keys as she stood in the entryway for a moment longer rationalizing his silence. Rose has promised the shift was going to be an easy one, though nothing was ever easy in the restaurant industry, or predictable for that matter.

With a sigh she kicked off her own shoes, making her way into the kitchen and tossing her keys on the counter as she busied herself with the motions of making dinner. There was no point in dwelling on it now. What was done was done and she’d just have to deal with the fallout when it came. And hopefully it wouldn’t be nearly as bad as she was expecting it to be.

***

They still hadn’t spoken by the time dinner had been made and consumed and the dishes had been washed and put away. The living room was silent as they sat tucked into their respective corners of the couch. She scrolled through social media on her phone, eyes glancing over to his partially snoozing form every now and again to check on him.

The frown between his eyebrows had eased up slightly, though the tension in his shoulders was a long way from easing up. She couldn’t help but to sigh. Every cell in her being was  screaming for her to speak. Ask if he was okay, ask how his day went or if he regretted any of it.

Before she could say anything though her thoughts were interrupted by a whine from one of the dogs laying at their feet, followed by a massive crashing boom that rumbled through the tiny house and rattled some of the dishes in the cabinets.

Yoongi jolted awake at the sound, wild eyes seeking out her frantic form as she bolted down from the couch to grab a hold of Champ’s harness. The three legged dog was in a full panic, struggling so harshly against the harness that had he been in a collar he’d have surely choked himself to death.

“Shh baby. I’m here.” her soothing tones seemed to calm the dog for a moment but another resounding thunderclap shook the house, followed by the roaring hammer of raindrops on the roof. The cacophony of sound sent the dog into such a frenzy he was climbing into his owner’s lap in a desperate attempt to shield himself from the sudden onslaught of sound.

Yoongi stared on in confusion, unsure on how to help and yet reaching out an unsteady hand just in case there was something he could do.

“Hey…” His fingertips brushed against her shoulder and her head whipped around, eyes filled with panic. He held his hands up in surrender until the panic faded slightly from her eyes. “Is there...is there anything I can do to help?”

After a calming breath she nodded, shooting him a hesitant smile over the trembling mass of fur in her arms. “In the laundry room is a kennel. It’s folded flat beside the washing machine under a pile of blankets. Could you bring it and the blankets here?”

Yoongi nodded, jumping to his feet and making his way down the hall to the laundry room. It took him only a moment to find the kennel in question, a massive metal monstrosity folded flat and leaning against the wall with a large pile of blankets on top. Carefully he lugged it to the living room, wincing at the scraping sound when he almost lost the blankets tucked under his arm and the kennel dragged slightly on the hallway floor.

“Where do you want it?” He huffed, leaning it against the arm of the sofa as he waited for further instruction.

After pointing out a spot for it she began giving him instructions on how to set it up, telling him in quiet tones to pull Kaia’s bed into the huge expanse. The second the bed was in place Champ was scrambling from her lap, shoving past Yoongi to curl up in the bed. He tucked his snoot beneath his tail, eyes shut tight with the tiniest of whimpers as Kaia climbed in calmly after him.

Thunder rumbled through the room, causing the two humans to flinch and yet in the safety of the kennel Champ was quiet.

“Just toss the blankets over the top. But keep the door open, that way they can come out once the storm is over.” Y/n sighed, bracing herself on the side of the sofa as she stood and nodded in approval when Yoongi created the perfect dark cave for the two pups to cuddle within.

“Huh...that actually worked.” Yoongi wondered aloud as he made a few final adjustments to the blankets before returning to his corner of the sofa.

She nodded, joining Yoongi in tucking herself in and shooting him a tired smile. “I think it’s an instinct thing. Wolves usually hide out in caves during storms. Or at least I think they do. Some call to their ancestors or something like that. Either way Champie boy’s terrified of storms and this is the only way he stays calm.”

“Ah...that explains why your friend Rose called him Thunderchicken at work today when she asked about him.”

She snorted,a soft smile curling her lips as she stared lovingly down at the kennel. “He’ll protect me from every dark shadow and passing car at the drop of a hat, but come rainy season he’s nowhere to be fun.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, reminded of the few moments he’d spent alone with the dogs and the shepherd had gone charging at the windows anytime a car honked or a person walked by. “We all have our weaknesses. Man and beast alike.”

She tilted her head,nose crinkled as she grinned in his direction. “Oh? And what’s your weakness oh great Man Beast?”

His laugh came out almost as a bark, catching her off guard and sending her into a tizzy of giggles that had him grinning from ear to ear.

“Honestly? A good strong cup of coffee and a nap. Nothing gets me weaker than a good long nap.” At that he yawned, though it was quickly interrupted by a flicker of the lights.

“Oh...well…” Y/n began to speak but the moment the power went out and the house went dark she yelped, launching herself across the sofa and right into Yoongi’s surprised grasp.

He sat, motionless, afraid to startle the trembling form in his grasp any further. She sniffed, clutching his clothes desperately as another rumble shook the house.

“Looks like Champ’s not the only thunderchicken huh?” Yoongi mumbled, clutching her closer as she struggled in his grip and smacked him weakly on the chest. He chuckled, fingers carding through her hair as she eased up in her struggles and collapsed back into him.

“Stupid…” She mumbled, face radiating heat that she prayed didn’t transfer through his shirt and into his skin to alert him to the effect his proximity was having on her.

They continued on like this for the rest of the night. Even when her breath had slowed to an even rhythm and her body had relaxed fully into his he refused to move. His heart pounded against his ribs though his mind refused to admit the effect she was having on him. Eventually though it slowed, along with his breathing as well. As the final distant rumbles sounded in the far off distance the house was still, and all its occupants slept.

*** The next day dawned bright and clear. Yoongi groan, stretching long and hard in his place on the sofa, eyes blurrily trying to take in his surroundings. His nostrils twitched, catching the scent of heavy wafting towards him and dragging him from the remaining depths of his sleep deprived mind.

He rolled to his side, eyes greeted with the sight of a glorious steaming cup of black coffee. He grinned, bouncing himself into a sitting position as his long fingers curled around the mug and pulled it in to allow the steam to cascade over his face. He spotted a sticky note that’d been held in place on the table by the mug, grin spreading from ear to ear as he read his wife’s beautiful flowing handwriting.

“Went to the grocery store to grab some stuff for breakfast. 

I could tell your day at work yesterday was tough so I let you sleep in. 

Hope that’s okay 

~y/n”

Champ hobbled over, pulling a grin from the man as he reached out a free hand to scratch absentmindedly at the pup’s head and ears. “Hi there buddy, feeling a little better after last night I see.”

The dog titled his head, goofy shepherd grin on his face as he sat at Yoongi’s feet and leaned in for more scratches. Their bonding though was interrupted by a knock at the door and a sharp bark from Champ who bolted towards the door, barking his head off as his tail wagged a mile a minute.

“Alright boy, easy. I’m coming, I'm coming.” Yoongi grunted as he shoved himself to his feet, regretfully leaving his cup behind as he moved Champ out of the way and eased the front door open.

“Excuse me Sir. I don’t mean to disturb you.”

Yoongi shook his head, a hesitant smile forming at the police officer’s apologetic gaze.

“No officer, it’s alright. But is there anything I can help you with?”

“Ah yes, I was assigned to the assault case of one y/l /ln. We were investigating the crime scene when we came across this phone. Once the case was closed we tried to get in touch with her to return the phone but haven’t had the ability to reach her.” The officer rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he held out the phone in question.

“I figured I’d try at her home but, it seems like since you’re home so I’ll just be able to give it to you.” He smiled kindly as Yoongi took the phone in hand.

“Thank you officer. I really appreciate it.”

After saying their goodbyes Yoongi shut the door and made his way to the sofa in the living room. His fingers curled around the familiar object, unsure why its weight felt so strangely right in his hands.

His fingers swiped across the dark screen, eyes going wide at the amount of missed calls and messages that scrolled across the screen. 

47 missed calls, as many missed text messages and 4,762 missed emails. His eyes widened as he scrolled through the messages, names registered under the missed calls that at once felt familiar and strange when he uttered them out loud.

Tapping on one of the voicemails he inhaled sharply as twin voices boomed out of the phone’s speakers.

“Hyung!”

“Hyung!”

“Shut up Tae I got this!”

“Hurry Jiminie!”

“Yoongi hyung! It’s Jimin! We’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days!”

“Hyung we miss you!”

“Tae come ooonnnn!”

“Sorry oppaaaa.”

A groan sounded through the speakers and the voice started up again. “I know you weren’t looking forward to the trip but you really should have come. It’s honestly been the most relaxing thing we’ve done together.”

“Oh yeah! Namjoon hyung tracked down the lady that you threw overboard!”

“Aish Tae don’t say it like that!”

“Namjoon hyung! What was the lady’s name?”

A third voice grunted out, though further back than the other two had been.

“Her name? I mean I didn’t really track her down, she works for the company we rented the ship from. But...her name is y/n.”

A high pitched screaming began in his ears as he looked up at the named woman that’d walked through the door at that very moment.

“Yoongi?” Her arms were laden with bags from the grocery store. She pushed past the dogs, giving him a hesitant smile that quickly faded at the look of rage on Yoongi’s face.

“When..were you going to tell me?”

“I’m sorry?” Placing the bags in her hands on the sofa she took a step towards him, though he jumped up from the sofa and backed away a step as he glared at her in sheer and utter disgust.

“I remember. Everything. When...when in the fuck were you going to tell me??”

"Yoongi please, let me explain.." She reached out as if to touch him but he quickly jerked his arm away.

Stumbling backward he blindly moved towards the kitchen, rage and confusion filling him as he tried desperately to make sense of what he'd learned.

"You lied to me. Day in and day out, you fucking lied. About who I am and what our relationship is." He growled, the high pitched whine beginning to sound even louder in his ears as he braced himself against the counter.

A throbbing began to form between his eyes and he growled again as he sensed her presence behind him.

"Yoongi please, I didn't want this to happen. I swear I didn't want to lie. About you...about us...any of this." 

She reached for him again but he turned quickly to glare her down.

"You didn't WANT to lie!?! How's about telling the fucking doctors you weren't my wife? How about admitting to me that I'm some...fucking idol or some shit?" He shook his head, trying desperately to clear the spots from his eyes so he could focus on the betrayal that was her desperate gaze.

" I know, and you're right. At any point in time I could have stopped this. But you were in such a delicate state. The doctors were afraid the damage to your memory was permanent! That it would only get worse over time! And I just...I wanted to take care of you. I needed to. To thank you."

"To fucking thank me?? For what? And fucking how?? Again, you fucking lied to me. You let me believe I was some...some stay at home worthless piece of shit of a dish washing husband. You...fucking Christ woman you let me fall in love with you…"

He shook his head again, willing the words to continue to spew forth, hoping the anger would keep him on his feet. And yet, the buzzing in his head continued to grow. The black spots became clouds that grew to surround the edges of his sight. And once again he was falling.

Once again his vision was fading to a single pinpoint. Her face. The worry and regret and fear in her eyes.

The tiny forget me not earrings nestled snugly in her ear lobes.

At first there was only sound. And then….nothing. 

#bts boulangerie #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #bt min yoongi #bangtan suga #suga amnesia #yoongi amnesia au #bts yoongi amnesia au #yoongi imagine #bt angst #bts fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts x reader insert #bts fanfiction #yoongi fanfiction #my writing

[imaginesfromtheupsidedown]

Oldest Friend pt. 2

A TMR/TDC Gally x FEMcharacter imagine.

This is Part2 to Oldest Friend Part 1 :)

Hi:) I haven’t read Kill Order but have seen the movies and read the other 3 books, this is just a story I’ve had in my head, a character that I created, and the way I picture everything going. LMK if there’s anything you’d like to see in this, and feedback is welcomed! Reminder that this is very windy and lengthy and that’s just how I write lol. 

triggers: still none that I can think of, LMK if there is anything that I should put as a trigger. 

word count: 3582  (again, I’ve always written lengthy stuff and can shorten or add more to the next ones if preferred, I just always want to make sure the backstory and details that are in my head get put in)

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He jolted awake. The sun was brighter than normal… he was late! He jumped up and started pulling on the first pair of pants he saw, running around and trying to grab a shirt, belt and shoes as fast he could. Man, his ass was grass when he got to-

“What the bloody hell are you doing, Gally.” Came a voice from behind him. Frozen in his tracks, Gally ever so slightly turned his head. Newt was propped up in his bed, staring at him. Confused, he glanced over at the clock above the door. 6:47 AM. They usually didn’t even get to the cafeteria for breakfast until about 8:30.

“The.. sun.. is bright?” he started, plopping back into bed and throwing his clothes to the ground. A glance around showed the other two boys, Ben and Minho, sound asleep in their own beds. Newt rolled his eyes at him.

“One of those wanks probably left the curtains open again.” He sighed, sinking back down into the covers. He shot Gally a smirk and gave him a quick look over.

“What…” Gally asked, scooting back and leaning against the wall.

“I’d try to get some more sleep if I were you, mate,” he teased, reaching to pull the string and close the curtains before laying back down. “all that sneaking about at all hours of the night will catch up to you eventually.” Gally about came out of his skin! Newt knew… he looked at the other two, snoozing away, wondering if they knew, too. Newt let out a laugh as if he read his mind, “Relax, Gal, they don’t have any clue. Mind telling me what’s so important to lose sleep over, though?”

“I..” he had every intention of playing as if he had no idea what he meant but Newt shot him the ‘I’m-not-stupid’ look. “met someone… who enjoys losing sleep to see me, too…” he mumbled, pulling his covers up over his chin to hide his pink cheeks.

“Ahh, well, c’mon, don’t be shy now, who is it?” Newt sat back up in his bed and crossed his legs. Gally hesitated, what if this got him in trouble? What if he got her in trouble? Newt seemed to be pretty good at that mind reading stuff. “Chill, mate, I don’t care what you do as long as your back here by morning and have a pulse.”

“It’s… a girl?’ Gally started. They gave each other a puzzled look and then burst out laughing. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well... how about the beginning then?” Newt prompted. Instead of going back to sleep, Gally spent the rest of his morning gushing over Meghan with Newt listening to every word. He didn’t give up her name and wanted to keep a good amount of what they had talked about between just them, but Newt understood. After a couple hours of spilling his guts and Newt poking fun at him, the other two guys woke up and it was time to head to breakfast. They got there a bit earlier than normal but she was still the first one at the table. He quickly gathered his food and sped to claim the seat next to her.

“Hey, Meg.” He breathed, excited to see her. Her long hair was up in a loose bun that sat at the top of her head, and it seemed she decided to wear her glasses instead of contacts. Hmm, she usually only did that when she was tired. She had just taken a big bite of her eggs and turned to hi with wide eyes.

“Heh, Guhl” she laughed, covering her mouth while she finished chewing. Shit… he thought. Why do you have to be so damn cute!! She leaned in and bumped her side into his for a second before leaning back to her seat and wiping her mouth with a napkin. “How’s your morning, Gal?”

“Umm.. well..” he gathered himself, turning pink and trying to get the guts to tell her. He couldn’t though… “So, Newt had figured out I was sneaking about… and I sort of…” he stopped and gave her a look, seeing her freeze.

“You… what?” she whispered, looking around. “Are we in trouble!”

“No! No, course not. I mean, not that I know of. I just..” he took a deep breath.  “I told him I was meeting up with you. But- hey, I didn’t actually SAY it was YOU!” he ended with, seeing as her jaw dropped to the floor.

“Well!” she demanded, turning toward him and grabbing his arm, dropping her voice to a whisper again. “What did he say!”

“Meg, Gally.” The voice made them jump and she recoiled back to her own space. Newt had snuck up on them, coming up behind them to come take his seat at the table. He gave them a sly grin. “Mornin’.”

“Morning..” she mumbled, stuffing her face with food. She glanced at Newt first, then to Gally through the tops of her glasses. Newt starting laughing as he picked at his food, earning a stomp on the foot from Gally. Their table slowly filled up and started humming with conversation.

“Aye, Gally, man you ready for today? Heard we’re headed out to the desert again.” Clint said, plopping down next to Meghan and almost knocking her plate off the table. He took a piece of toast and shoved it into his mouth.

“Hopefully ya got enough sleep…” Newt mumbled before taking a sip of his orange juice, raising his eyebrows at them. Meghan started choking on her eggs and Gally went to stomp his foot again but missed, getting Clint instead.

“Ohw duhd whuht th hehl!” he yelled, food flying out of his mouth. Everyone started laughing at the chaos happening but luckily seemed to miss the big picture. Gally gave Meg a little smile from the side and jumped back into the back and forth with everyone else. She smiled big at him, happy. She couldn’t help but feel nervous though, she was so afraid of getting themselves in trouble. The last time someone got in big trouble… well… they hadn’t seen Alby since. And she really didn’t want to find out why.

She remembered it very clearly. Alby had been acting funny for days then finally, the last time they ever saw him, burst into the cafeteria screaming something about brainwashing and lies before 7 armed guards rushed in and tranquillized him. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before anyone could see and snapped back into reality.

And just like that they went back to their quiet life as they knew it. Newt kept their secret and they still got to meet in that dusty old storage room. They each had decided that they wanted to tell the other about what they had been feeling but every time one of them wanted to the words wouldn’t form. So, they had both been trying in subtle ways. Hugging goodnight, playful shoves when they walked, grazing hands any chance they got, literally anything to get a smile out of each other.

Of course, the next day Gally would tell Newt about the night before and complain about how he felt so stupid for not telling her how he felt. Newt would give him the best advice he could, but he also didn’t really know how to handle it; there weren’t actually any instances of romantic relationships in here that they knew of. Mainly he just sat and listened. Gally and Newt grew closer as their talks became more frequent but not necessarily just about Meg. Newt just… understood him. What it felt like to be in this place, the frustrations of not knowing what direction their lives were going. He understood why Gally risked getting in trouble to sneak out, why he clung to what he had with Meg. He even understood why Gally would pick and choose what he told him about her. I get it mate, you keep her secrets like she keeps yours. Protect her and shit. You’re a good lad, Gal.

Then came the day they all got to work together. Meg was out in the desert working on updating some program and Gally and Newt were out building those giant walls again. When the lab techs landed WCKD had the guys pair up with them to test whatever devices they had, and of course Meg made a beeline to Gally.

“Alright, everyone! Don’t touch them wires they’ve got on you, we need em to get accurate results! And keep track of the weather, them dark clouds are rollin in fast and those wires can’t get wet! You four, go back to the walls. Then you two, we need these two buildings put together. But you each do one, don’t team up. Only use what’s been put out for ya, too.” One of the white coats instructed before heading back into the burg and taking off.

“Alright, doc, what the hell is this stuff?” he teased, turning and motioning to the little suction cups and wires she had stuck to his chest and neck. She barely glanced up from her tablet to meet his eyes.

“For your vitals.” She had been acting funny. She hadn’t said a single word at breakfast, and these were the first words she had said to him out here. He walked over and pretended to look at what she was doing.

“Meg…” he started, but she reached down and squeezed his hand, not even looking at him.

“We need to talk.” She was barely audible. And just as quick as she grabbed him, she let him go. She took a few steps back and looked him up and down, making him blush. “Alright, Gally, I need you to start lifting stuff.” He shot a look to Newt, who wasn’t too far away getting ready to work on the other structure.

Newt stifled a laugh and yelled, “Aye! You heard the woman, get to work, ya wank!”

It honestly wasn’t a bad day. There wasn’t much out for him to use for this one, some wood, hammers, nails and rope. It was definitely less than he would do on a regular day, so he wasn’t going to complain too much. Not to mention he got to show off in front of her. There were a few times he could’ve sworn he had caught her looking, but when he would double check her nose was always buried back in those tablets. A few times she came over and adjust the wires on him that he wasn’t sure was really necessary for whatever was on those tablets… but again, he wasn’t going to complain.

Eventually the shed.. hut… whatever it was he built, it was done. She went around and shook it a few times but it stayed standing, so she gave him a thumbs up. She ran back over to him and had him hold one of the tablets while she worked on them both.

“So.. what exactly are you doing to me?” he asked. She was quiet for a bit before responding, furring her brows and something on the screen.

“Okay, so these wires I have on you? They’re recording your vitals: heart rate, brain patterns, anything in your system that changes and whether or not it could be from something physical or not. That goes to this tablet,” she motioned to the one in his hands, then motioned to the one she had. “and this one is hooked up to… something… somewhere. It’s a remote system that doesn’t have to be hooked up to you but still is able to monitor all your vitals but without having to have anything actually on you. But they aren’t adding up right now..” she trailed off.

He moved behind her, looking down at both the tablets. She froze for a second then leaned into him, continuing to mess with the tablets. But… he could see the screens. The numbers were identical. He blushed, realizing what she was doing. He reached around her as if he was pointing at something on the one in her hands, resting his arm around her shoulder.

“Ahh, there. I see it, that’s what isn’t matching.” He said, his heart racing as she leaned into him more. He let out a laugh when he realized the system had picked up on his pulse quickening. She looked up at him and gave him a silly face but when she looked down she let out a giggle when she saw it. She stepped away and looked back at him.

“Looks like all that lifting had loosened a wire, here, I need to get these back in sync.” She pushed a button on each screen, then reached up toward where the wires were suctioned to his neck. He tensed up for a second but then relaxed into her touch. “Just need to triple check on your pulse.” She said softly. At first she really did seem to check for a pulse, but after a few moments she cupped his face, giving him a small smile. He felt his heart jump into his throat.

And then the rain started. He felt it first, two tiny drops hitting his forehead. Then it seemed to come down in sheets. He started tearing the wires off as they ran to the hut, picking up a dry cloth once he got in there and starting to dry them off. Meg stood in the far end of it, throwing her hair into a loose bun.

“Well, at least this part was done!” she laughed, laying he tablets on the floor. She crossed the room and stared out of the doorway for a few awkward seconds before turning back to him. “Gally, can we talk?”

“Yes.” He said a little too quickly. He tossed the wires to the ground and started toward her, ready to finally get the words out. He stopped right in front of her, she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“So, I need to know…” she started, still not meeting his eyes. “Do you want the good or bad first?”

“What.” He said flatly, the question taking him off guard. “Um.. go ahead with the good. Bad is bad either way.” She looked up at him with glossy eyes, giving him a small smile and coming toward him.

“Now.. don’t be mad at me. I should’ve asked first…” she started crossing her arms. “But I stumbled into the database and didn’t know if I would be able to get back into it and-” he grabbed her on either side of her face.

“Spit it out, Meg!” He teased, dropping his hands down to her shoulders.

“Happy late birthday, Gal.” she whispered, reaching up and grabbing one of his hands. “You’re 17 now!” He gave her a blank look. He hadn’t thought of birthdays in a long time… or about how old he was. Yeah, of course, he knew he was older. But he hadn’t really thought about it in years.

“I’m 17?” he mumbled, wrapping his head around it. “Wait, how long ago?”

“About a couple weeks, they track our ages for their data. I was in there and came across mine and when I thought of yours… I just wanted to know.” In one swift movement he picked her up and spun her around, earning a laughing fit from her. He sat her down after a few spins and pulled her into a big hug.

“Thank you, Meg! When do I get to tell you happy birthday, then?” he asked, pulling back and looking at her. She laughed at that, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair, giving him goosebumps.

“About 10 months, young one. I turned 17 a couple months ago.” She teased.

“Young one!” he said, raising his eyebrows at her. “I may be young but at least I’m not short!” he winked at her. She pulled her arm back and gave her a playful smack on the chest.

“Hey! I am above average height for a girl my age!”  she exclaimed, standing on the tips of her toes. Even doing that still made the top of her head come to his chin. He couldn’t help it anymore, he reached out and pulled her close, cupping her face in his hands. She seemed taken aback but didn’t pull away, instead reaching up and mirroring him. And then it happened.

Their first kiss. They both froze for a second, neither of them sure what they were doing. But then she leaned into him, pulling him as close as she could. That was all the confirmation he needed. He wrapped his arms around her and they stood locked there for who knows how long, only coming apart for air. He pushed her toward one of the walls and started to run his hands over her body while she knotted her fingers in his hair. All of a sudden she pushed him back, her face a flushed pink and hair a mess.

“Gally! We.. what.. are you?” she couldn’t get a full sentence out. She glanced toward the wide-open doorway and back to him. “That was…”

“Great.” He started, walking toward her. “Fantastic. Long overdue. Well… at least on my part it was.” He stopped in front of her, putting his hands in his pockets to stop himself from pulling her back to him. “I’m sorry… I’ve wanted to do that for a long time now an-” she cut him off, her lips crashing back into his for one long, hard kiss. She pulled back, cupping his face in her hands.

“Don’t you apologize for that again. Ever.” She dropped her hands and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. “We just… we need to be really careful from here on out, Gally.”

“Careful? He asked, wrapping his arms back around her and resting his chin atop her head.

“I.. I need to tell you the bad news now.” She locked her arms around him, not letting him go. “Is that okay?” he started running his hands up and down her back.

“Of course… are you okay?” he mumbled as he felt her start to shake.

“No.” she couldn’t keep her voice even. “Gally, I found Alby. And Nick.”

He tried to pull back from her, shocked, but she had that iron grip on him. Found them? What did she mean by ‘found them’? He relaxed back into her, waiting for what she was going to say next.

“They.. they’re in the other maze.” She whispered, finally pulling back to look up at him. “ We created the maze to put them there. And they…” she trailed off, letting her tears fall.

“What?” he asked, unable to hide the scared look on his face. “They what, Meg?” She took a deep breath and steadied her voice.

“They don’t know who they are. They know their names. But only that. Nothing of who they were before they were put in that… that prison.” She spat, breaking away from him and walking back to peer out the door.

“What do you mean… by any of this?” he slowly walked and stood next to her. He looked down at her and saw the tears running down her face.

“I… I’ve gotten in trouble. My work wasn’t what it used to be. They were holding this… project over my head. And I wanted to do it so bad, Gally.” She looked up at him. It broke his heart to see her so sad. “And I finally got to go in… but I wish I hadn’t…” she started to explain as much as she possibly could to him, scaring him bad. If what she told him was true, that means that THEY are the experiments… not animals, not other people. THEM. He didn’t want to believe it but why would she make this up? He started to tear up, too. “And… Gally..”

“Yes?” he croaked, stepping close to her.

“I think they’re killing us. I don’t know how, I don’t know if we’re just a casualty of the experiment, but… they’re just… waiting.” She whispered.

“On wha-”

“On someone to die.” She interrupted. The way she said it was so matter-of-fact. He pulled her back into him, making sure she was still looking at him.

“They won’t hurt you, Meg.” She started to interrupt him but he kept going. “Understand? I don’t know what the hell is happening or what I’m going to do but I’m going to make sure you aren’t a part of this. Not you.” He started crying too, planting one more kiss on her forehead. When they pulled apart she started rubbing her face, ridding the evidence of any crying. He did the same, walking out into the last bit of the rain and waiting on her to grab her stuff. She came out, tablets in hand.

“Ready?” she sighed. He shook his head, walking back into the hut. He came back out with the wires and handed them over to her.

“Don’t wanna lose these.” He joked. She gave him a smile and ran to catch up with Newt, who had already started toward the burg, which had apparently landed at some point during the storm. As soon as she couldn’t see him, he let his expression turn dark. It would be over his cold, dead body before he let anyone, even WCKD, harm one hair on her head.

#tmr #tmr gally #tdc #tdc gally #tdc imagine #tmr imagine #the maze runner gally #gally imagine #gally x reader #gally the maze runner #imagine #the death cure #the death cure imagine #the death cure gally #the maze runner #the maze runner imagine #death cure #Maze Runner #death cure gally #maze runner gally

[alluremin]

pairing: park jimin | reader

genre: parent!au | fluff

warnings: none

premise: Babies are hard.

word count: 2.1k

a/n: i can’t seem to find any inspiration to write any of my wips, but here is yet another dad!bts one shot with NO PLOT. bold of you to expect anything different from me!

Your feet ache, your head feels like it’s going to explode, and your back is so sore, you’d much rather crawl into a hole than to ever return to work again. The keys that hang from your chain jingle as you shut your car door. You can feel your feet dragging across the cement as you make to your front door. Calm immediately washes over your visage as soon as the keys enter the lock, the satisfying click meeting your ears.

Upon entering the house, everything seems much too quiet for comfort, especially considering who you live with. Thankfully, Jimin took the day off today. It was comforting on days like today when you knew that your husband was home to take care of everything.

“Jimin, I’m home!” You call in the general direction of the living room. No response.  “Did you eat yet?” Again, silence meets your ears.

Making your way living room, you catch a messy tuft of hair pooling over the arm of the couch. He had been running his hands through his hair all day, it was easy to tell. You continue your route into the room, your steps softening against the carpet when you suspect the man on the couch had long since fallen asleep.

The clock on the wall read 6:36 p.m.; you can’t help but whisper ‘Old man’, under your breath as you crouch next to your comatose husband on the sofa. You couldn’t help but swoon at the image gracing your vision.

His mouth is hung wide open in his slumber and his eyes are swollen with exhaustion. Your gaze scans down his bare torso to the tiny person whose expression, and state of consciousness matched Jimin’s own.

Her small, lips mirror the out of her father, a small amount of drool dripping out of her mouth and onto your husband’s chest. You softly coo at her as you grab the baby cloth by Jimin’s head, using it to wipe Scarlet’s lips and dab the slobber from your husband. It’s not like baby drool was anything new to either of you. For new parents, it was almost guaranteed that you would have some type of unidentifiable stain on you at all times, at least this time Jimin was naked from the waist up --- easy cleanup.

After you wipe her face, she smacks her lips together a few times and you hold your breath, hoping that your actions didn’t wake her up. She settles after a few seconds, so you drop the cloth in your lap and slouch against the coffee table behind you.

Though only 5 months old, your daughter’s hair seemed to grow at an astronomical rate. Scarlet’s long bangs are secured with a small elastic on top of her head, a look Jimin likes to call ‘The Tree’. The raven locks defy gravity, hitting the bottom of your husband’s chin. Every time the man releases a breath, the tiny ponytail bounces. Maybe you were slap happy with fatigue, but the sight causes a chuckle to reverberate through your gut.

Laying your head on Jimin’s shoulder, you watch Scarlet's back rise and fall in time with her father. Consequently, your skin contact causes Jimin to stir slightly, the hand he had resting across the baby’s back tightening slightly. His other hand stiffens on her onesie-clad feet.

Jimin’s bicep was warm under your cheek and you unavoidably nuzzle your head into his neck. It was almost a primal need at this point for you to leave kisses in the juncture of his shoulder.

It seems as if all the aches and pains disappeared from your body as soon as you walked through your front door. Scarlet and Jimin were your home, your paradise, and your own personal form of medicine.

You lean forward to place a quick peck on Jimin’s cheek, doing the same to Scarlet’s. An inevitable groan leaving your lips as you push yourself to stand. The snoozing party looked so peaceful, so with gentle steps you approach your bedroom to change out of your work clothes, leaving the two to nap for a little bit longer.

Sore muscles object as you peel your shirt over your head and your ankles crack as you pull your pants from around them. Upon rummaging through your closet, you find one of your husband’s old, worn out hoodies and pull it over your tired body. The soft fabric drops just past your knees. While combing through the pile of clothes on your floor, looking for a pair of pants, wails erupt from the living room before you can cover your legs. You’re quick to abandon your search and hastily make toward the source.

Your husband has since sat up on the couch and meets your gaze when you enter the room. His eyes are half open with exhaustion when they meet your own. Your feet quicken their pursuit toward your child, her face bright red from her screaming. All you can do is offer your husband a small smile as you scoop the baby out of his lap and up into your arms. This was Scarlet’s, “I’m hungry, feed me now,” wail.

When you turned to leave the room, you heard the couch squeak as Jimin stood to follow you.

“Is there any milk left in the fridge? I didn’t pump at work today and my nipples are too sore to feed her right now,” you said as your groggy husband follows you into the bedroom. You mentally add this to the list of phrases you’d never thought you’d say to Jimin.

He pauses briefly in the doorway, his eyes still only half open before wordlessly turning around and dragging his feet toward the kitchen. The plush comforter hits the back of your thighs as you sit down on your mattress.

The crying continues to berate your ears, so as you bounce the toddler on your chest, you bring your lips to the crown of her head and make little shushing noises until her screams turn to soft whimpers.

Scarlet calmed down tenfold since being enveloped in your arms, now only tiny crocodile tears were leaving her eyes and soaking the center of your borrowed hoodie. With your arm under her tiny bottom and your ring-clad left-hand surrounding the baby’s chubby thigh, you pull your head back, double chin at all, to get a look at the scrunched-up face of your baby.

“Oh, nugget. You look like a grumpy old man with your face like that.” Your voice was at a low tone due to the angle of your neck, making Jimin huff in amusement as he enters the room. The fish-like pouting of your lips recedes as you smile at your husband’s brief chuckle, but your eyes don’t leave Scarlet’s chubby cheeks.

In the past 5 months, you had become an expert tear-wiper, now was no exception. With your free hand, you use to wipe the remnants of her fit from sight. Your hand returns to cradle the back of her head as you leave a series of tiny kisses against her forehead.

The bed dips next to you as Jimin sits down. Only when you felt a quick peck on your cheek did you remove your lips from the crown of Scarlet’s head. You turn toward the source, earning yourself a peck on the lips from the man.

“Hi,” Jimin’s groggy voice mutters against your lips.

“Hi, honey. You sound like a frog.” You giggle as you lean away to get a good look at Jimin’s face.

His eyes are hardly open. His lips are parted slightly as his head begins to droop. His cheeks are rosy, something you can’t help but swoon over to this day. It’s been years and this man still makes your heart pound out of your chest after a single glance.

You reach your hand up to cup his cheek and lift his head to look back up at you, pecking him on the nose. Warm plastic taps against your bare thigh, and without breaking eye contact, you drop your hand to wrap around bottle Jimin was nudging against your leg.

“Thank you,” you whisper before pecking his lips.

You break eye contact and return your attention to the baby on your chest. After realizing that you, in fact, do not have 3 hands, you set the bottle between your knees and adjust Scarlet in your arms.

Her tiny lips wrap around the bottle and her tiny fist clasps onto the dark hoodie. As she ate, the baby looked into your eyes --- another one of her endearing quirks. Her eyes reflect your own, but her lips were a mirror image of her father’s. Sometimes you wish that she had Jimin’s adorable eye smile, but it was to see a part of yourself emulated in your child. As much as you love your husband, you did grow her in your uterus for 9 months, it was only fair.

You can’t help but let your head drop to look at the ceiling, releasing a long sigh of relief. Jimin was currently using your shoulder as his pillow. At first, he was watching Scarlet eat just like you, but after you lift your head back up, you notice that not only is your daughter asleep, the bottle hanging from her mouth, but Jimin is as well. Maybe it was the fact that you were on the verge of sleep as well, but it was only now that you feel all of Jimin’s weight on your body.

“Seriously?” you whisper incredulously. Jimin only nuzzles your shoulder in response and your daughter tightens her grip on the hoodie. You can’t help but laugh at the situation. “Jimin? Wake up, honey.”

After enough adamant nudging, though without waking your daughter --- you had a talent --- Jimin jolts awake. His eyes wide as he looks around the room like a man possessed. You only chuckle as you watch him.

“Did I fall asleep?” His voice is thick with sleep as he rubs his eyes.

“Yes,” you say as you stand, “but you weren’t out for very long.” He only mumbles in response.

You walk the baby over to the crib in the corner of your bedroom. Scarlet started out sleeping in her own room, but colicky babies aren’t exactly a choice. How are you supposed to let her self-soothe when she cries for hours on end? You and Jimin were good parents, but you couldn’t stand to listen to the wails every night.

Regardless, Scarlet no longer has that problem, but she didn’t like to sleep anywhere but your and Jimin’s room. In your defense, she used to sleep in your bed, but now she was in her own crib; progress. You two decided that you would deal with moving her into her own bedroom when she could just sneak back into your room on her own accord and not scream in the middle of the night to get out of her crib. You could already tell that she would be a bold toddler.

The thoughts you had in your head would’ve gotten you kicked out of ‘Mommy & Me’ in a week if you had said them out loud. Hence the reason why you only went to the class once. Some moms seemed to have a permanent stick up their ass and so much air in their head it made you feel weightless.

You can’t help but brush the soft hair off Scarlet’s forehead as you watch her sleep soundly in her crib. One of your greatest pleasures in life was watching your kid sleep and you weren’t ashamed to admit it. Once you felt your head drop in exhaustion you decided to go to bed.

Three minutes. You were standing by the crib for three minutes, max. As soon as you drag your body around to face toward the bed, the sound of Jimin’s soft snores hit your ears. The thick blanket was pulled up around his ears, a small tuft of his dark hair popping out over the top. You can’t blame him, especially now that you were collapsing in the bed beside him.

The warmth of the covers envelops your body and it doesn’t take long for Jimin to wrap his arms around you from behind. He pushes his head between your shoulder blades and a feeling of peace rushes over your body, your consciousness fading by the second.

If somebody had told you two years ago that you and your husband would be in bed at 7:00 pm, on Friday night, with a baby, you would’ve laughed in their face. Scarlet was definitely a surprise, but the best surprise that you or Jimin ever had, and you wouldn’t change anything for the world. Except for Jimin’s hand that has somehow made its way to cover your face. That you would change.

© alluremin 2019

no reposting

#bangtanarmynet #kwritersworldnet #networkbangtan #dad!bts #bts jimin #bts fluff #jimin fluff #park jimin #jimin #jimin x reader #bts x reader #dad!jimin

[technicallycleverdetective]

Drabble game: 25. Sunlight ☀️ Metamoro!

Hey! :) It’d be funny if you asked me for something else and I was like “Whom?” XD You asked for sunlight and cuddles, and I’m not sure whether I actually fulfilled those requests properly, but I tried. I hope you enjoy <3

Fabrizio grimaced unhappily as his vision was suddenly flooded with gleaming yellow light, and lifted a hand to shield his eyes. There was no escape. The heavenly glow penetrated every defence to fill the room. He really needed to get new curtains. Now that the summer was arriving, it was as if someone had lined up spotlights outside his window and turned them on promptly at 9am. Awake, he could also hear the obnoxiously loud tweeting of birds outside. Everything was conspiring to make sure he got out of bed. Almost everything, at least. There remained one very good reason to stay right where he was.

Ermal was still asleep, spread-eagled over half of the bed with his face turned to the wall and his hair in disarray. Fabrizio rolled slowly onto his side, trying not to shake the bed too much, but his love was a light sleeper and he heard the unhappy groan as soon as he moved.

“I’m sleeping” Ermal mumbled. Fabrizio grinned in amusement. This was the second morning in a row that he’d woken to find Ermal still deep in slumber. He had to admit that it was a nice change from the typical morning, awaking alone to the sound of singing in the shower or the smell of coffee downstairs. A sleepy Ermal was warm and soft to cuddle, and that was Fabrizio’s favourite way to start the morning.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

 “Terrible.”

 “Tired?” he queried, before Ermal’s answer had actually registered. “What? Terrible?”

 “Terrible” Ermal repeated.

 “Why?” Fabrizio sat up quickly, leaning over to look at him. He was pale. He always was, especially in the mornings before he’d had coffee, but right now he was startlingly white. Fabrizio had to take a second look to be sure of what he was seeing. “Are you unwell?” he asked anxiously, pushing his curls aside to feel his forehead.

 “Didn’t sleep” was the slurred response. Fabrizio sighed, feeling relief and then sympathy. Ermal had expected a good night’s sleep yesterday after failing to get it on the night prior. Fabrizio often wondered how he managed to handle his constant state of sleep deprivation, but it seemed to be catching up to him now.

 “How much did you get?” he asked, lying down and snuggling into Ermal.

 “Woke up at 2, got back at 6.”

 The clock said that it was now 9.30am. Fabrizio was skewered with guilt. He’d been dead to the world and known nothing while Ermal was struggling.

 “You can keep sleeping if you want” he said quietly.

 “I have to get up” Ermal murmured resignedly.

 “No, you can sleep.” “I want to, but I can’t.”

 “You have nowhere to be today…” Fabrizio began, and then realised that continuing this conversation was no way to get his cespuglie the rest he deserved. He brought a hand up to gently brush over the wild tangles of hair. “I just want you to be alright.”

 “I’m getting up” Ermal said, barely able to form coherent words, and pulled the duvet around his shoulders. Fabrizio smiled as he settled into a warm cocoon, continuing to stroke his hair, until he heard gentle snores and stopped. As carefully as he could, he slipped out of bed and crossed the room. The floorboards creaked only once and he looked back.

 “You’re leaving me” Ermal said, sounding amused.

 “I’ll be back in a minute.” “Thank you.”

 He went downstairs and started to make breakfast, setting out two cups for the coffee and two glasses for juice. It was funny to realise how well he knew Ermal. He would have gone back to sleep before Fabrizio had even made it to the landing, and yet he would undoubtedly appear in the kitchen before breakfast was finished. The man clearly had some built in radar to know when coffee was being prepared.

 Sure enough, Fabrizio was pulling orange pieces apart and setting them in a circle around a plate to share, when he heard movement upstairs. He grabbed the bread and a plate for his companion, and was pouring the coffee when the kitchen door opened. Fabrizio smiled over his shoulder at the zombie shambling towards him.

 “I’m here” Ermal declared, wearily triumphant.

 “Your coffee is here. I have fruit and you just need to put spread on your roll. And,” Fabrizio stepped around him to open the treat cupboard, taking down the biscuit tin and selecting a chocolate cookie. “Caffeine and sugar to help you wake up.”

 He placed the biscuit on Ermal’s plate, turned and found himself wrapped in a hug. A warm feeling of joy spread through him and he lifted his arms, wrapping them around Ermal and squeezing tightly. “How sweet” he said.

 “I am,” Ermal agreed. Fabrizio heard a light chuckle next to his ear as the other man pulled back, smiling. “Hey, why don’t we eat outside and enjoy the sunshine?” he suggested hopefully.

 “That sounds brilliant,” Fabrizio agreed. “Can you finish the bread and take your plate out? I’ll join you in a second.”

 Ermal left him to grab the butter and jam. Fabrizio headed back upstairs and into Anita’s room, picking up the soft checkerboard blanket that lived at the bottom of her bed. It had been a gift when she started school, something she could snuggle under on cold mornings during the car ride, and she adored it. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind (or would never find out about) its temporary requisition.

 As he went back downstairs, he could hear that the radio was on, but Ermal wasn’t singing along. The back door was open and the distinctive curly head could be seen poking over the top of the lawn chair. Fabrizio approached, rounded the chair, and scoffed in amusement at the sight of Ermal. His beloved slept with his mouth open in a silent O, something he wasn't aware of and Fabrizio had no intention of telling him. It would only embarrass him.

 As gently as possible, Fabrizio unfurled the blanket and placed it over the snoozing form, and then went back to retrieve his food. The early morning sunshine wrapped him in a sense of wellbeing, his bare feet pressed against the stones of the patio as they slowly warmed up. The music was wafting out to the garden, his perpetually sleep-deprived boyfriend was ten fathoms deep in the slumber that he so needed, and the kids would be arriving in three hours to help them make the most of the day. He sought to take a snapshot of this moment of tranquillity in his mind. For a brief time, everything in the world was perfect.

[everlarkficexchange]

Real Love

Written by: @geekymoviemom​

Prompt 21: Day 1 of Peeta as a Daddy [submitted by anonymous]

A/N: A huge thank-you to @javistg and @xerxia31 for organizing the exchange!  The banner was made from an edit done by @dandelion–sunset.  :)

This story is set in my Practice Run universe, and can serve as an epilogue to that story.  :)

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of childbirth and breastfeeding.

I lean my head back against the headboard of our bed, cradling my brand new daughter against my bare chest as Katniss dozes on the pillow next to me.  Our midwife, Rachel, told us that skin-to-skin contact was the best way to keep Willow warm in these initial hours following birth, so besides the soft blanket draped over her back, she’s clad in only a diaper and a knit hat as she snoozes on me, her tiny hand clinging tightly to the hair between my pectorals.

Cupping Willow’s bottom in one hand, I carefully reach my other hand to brush Katniss’s hair out of her eyes, smiling when she unconsciously leans into my touch.  Watching her give birth to our daughter earlier today, on Resurrection Sunday no less, was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Even Rachel, who’s been witness to almost one hundred births in her career as a homebirth midwife, told me how impressed she was by Katniss’s strength and determination, especially for a first-time mom.  During the entire five-hour labor, there was only one time when I saw fear in Katniss’s grey eyes. Only one time where she said she just couldn’t take it anymore. Where the pain was just too much for her to handle. I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life. It nearly tore my heart right out of my chest to see my wife in such agony and be unable to do anything to help her.  But it was only about thirty seconds later when Rachel told her it was time to start pushing. And thankfully, by the grace of God, it only took five pushes before Willow was born.

Our perfect baby girl, with Katniss’s hair and my eyes.  Willow Grace Mellark.

It’s nearly midnight now.  Willow is about six hours old.  Through the window on the opposite wall, I can see the lake reflecting the light from the stars and the waning moon.  The water is calm and peaceful, the perfect mirror image of my home on this Easter night.

I know I should try and get some sleep.  “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” is the advice Katniss and I received from just about everyone we came across in the last few months, both at church and around our small town of Starbuck, Minnesota.  But strangely enough, after the events of the day I don’t feel tired at all. I only want to sit here, holding my precious baby and sniffing her tiny head. I want to listen to every single squeak that she makes.  I want to feel the rise and fall of her little chest against my own. I want to soak in all in, for as long as I’m able to before she wakes up hungry and I have to give her back to her mommy.

This is my daughter.

I’m a daddy.

Thank you, Jesus.

XXXX

The very small but very strong yank on my chest hair is what startles me awake.  I blink a few times, squinting to look at the clock. It’s nearly 2am already, and Willow is starting to stir, sucking on her tiny fist.  I guess I was able to doze off after all.

Rubbing at the crick in my neck, I look down at my sleeping wife, reluctant to wake her but knowing it’s best to catch Willow before she gets too frantically hungry, and therefore more difficult to get latched on properly.  Rachel taught us the newborn hunger cues at one of our last prenatal visits, and so far we’ve been able to avoid making Willow too upset to feed well. I’d like to continue that streak.

“Katniss,” I whisper, gently shaking her shoulder.  “Wake up, my love.”

Katniss’s eyes flutter open, and she brings her arms up over her head to stretch.  “Mmm.  Is she hungry?”

“She’s trying to eat her hand, so I’d say yeah,” I reply.  Holding Willow’s head under my chin, I reach my free hand under Katniss’s arm, helping her sit up and tucking an extra pillow behind her head.  Rachel recommended that Katniss stay in the bed as much as possible for the next two days and allow me to spoil her, and I fully intend to follow through with those instructions.

Handing Katniss the baby, I watch in awe as she lifts up her pajama shirt and latches her onto her breast.  I chuckle as Willow’s tiny hands splay out to hold onto the breast as she suckles. “I think she knows what she likes,” I say to Katniss.

“Of course she does,” Katniss says, running her fingertip along Willow’s tiny cheek.  “She’s my daughter.”

I lean in to kiss Katniss’s forehead.  “And what would you like to eat, Momma?”

Her beautiful grey eyes lock with mine as she gives me a tired smile.  “A cheese bun. No, two of them. And some water, please.”

I peck her forehead again.  “You got it.”

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I slip on my t-shirt as I get to my feet, limping slightly as I walk out of the bedroom and into the kitchen of our small home.  I’m not used to wearing my prosthesis this late at night, or while I’m sleeping, and my left leg is a bit sore.

While I wait for the cheese buns to heat up, I look through the open kitchen to the living room, my eyes falling on the now-empty birthing pool where our daughter was born just a few hours ago.  I run my hand through my hair as I recall the exact moment that Willow was born, and how I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her. With the kind of household that I grew up in, and the constant questioning of whether or not my own mother even loved me, it was a huge weight off my shoulders.  As much as I hate to admit it, I am my mother’s son. And it would absolutely devastate me to ever have Willow be unsure of our love for her.

The microwave beeps, startling me out of my reverie.  I pull out the plate of warm cheese buns, then grab a water bottle from the fridge, turning off the kitchen light with my elbow as I make my way back to the bedroom just in time to see Katniss switching Willow to the other breast.

“Here you go, love,” I say as I set the plate down on the bedside table.  I twist the cap off the water bottle and hand it to Katniss, watching with wide eyes as she downs over half of it in several large gulps before handing it back to me and reaching for a cheese bun.

“Rachel said that nursing makes you extra thirsty,” Katniss says, taking a big bite of the cheese bun.  “If it’s this bad already, it’s going to be ridiculous once my milk actually comes in.”

“I’ll go to the store and get more if we need it,” I tell her, smoothing back her hair.  “I’ll get you whatever you want, you just say the word.”

“Joseph and Katherine said they’d be bringing us some groceries on Tuesday,” she replies.  “And Rachel said she’d bring food when she comes to check on us tomorrow morning. We’ll be okay.”

Joseph Everdeen is my boss, and the Head Pastor at Central Minnesota Community Church, where I lead the Alive Teen Ministry.  He’s also Katniss’s distant cousin, which we discovered when we came here to Lake Minnewaska on our honeymoon almost three years ago.  In that time, I’ve become closer to them and their family than I ever was to my own. In fact, just earlier this evening, after I texted Joseph to announce Willow’s birth, he replied with a link to a website where members of our church family had signed up to bring us daily meals for the next three weeks.  I only hope we have enough freezer space for all of the leftovers. People definitely enjoy showing their love up here in Minnesota through food and hospitality.

“She’s done eating, Peeta,” Katniss whispers a few minutes later.  “And I need to pee.”

“Let me help you!” I exclaim, probably a little too loudly when Katniss winces.  “Rachel said you shouldn’t be doing much of anything on your own for at least a couple of days, Katniss.”  I gently take Willow from her, propping her up against my shoulder with one arm. “Let me help you.”

Katniss scowls, but sits tight while I make my way to the other side of the bed, offering her my free arm to help her stand.  She sways a little once she gets to her feet, shooting me a contrite look as we step towards the small bathroom a few feet away.  Willow turns her head as I stand near the door, burying her tiny nose into my neck, her little hands kneading the fabric of my t-shirt.  As Katniss finishes up and we head back towards the bed, I hear a tiny belch in my ear and chuckle.

“That’s my girl.  Already burping like a true Mellark.”

“She needs her diaper changed,” Katniss says, crawling back into the bed.  She stuffs the remaining half of a cheese bun into her mouth and hands me the diaper, which is smaller than my hand.  “Do you want to try it?”

“Absolutely,” I whisper.

Carefully cupping Willow’s head, I lay her down on the bed in front of me.  With her constantly kicking and wiggling legs, it takes me a good five minutes to get her wet diaper off and the fresh one fastened, but when it doesn’t fall off of her after I pick her back up, I consider it a success.

With her tummy full and a dry bottom, Willow is now wide awake, her blue eyes bright in the dim light of the bedroom.  “Go back to sleep,” I tell Katniss. “I’ll stay up with her.”

“You need sleep too, Peeta,” Katniss protests, even as she lays back down.  “I’m feeling okay—“

“I had a short nap,” I say.  “I’m fine. You need to sleep.”

“Mmm,” Katniss grumbles.  “Your leg’s gonna be sore in the morning.”

I bring the blankets up over Katniss’s shoulder and tuck a stay hair behind her ear.  “Don’t worry about me. You just get as much rest as you can. You worked hard today.”

Yawning, Katniss nods.  “All right. Just make sure she stays warm.”

“I will.  I’ll put her in that outfit that Annie sent us and wrap her up in her blanket.”  I lean down to give Katniss a kiss. “Sleep now, love.”

“Don’t walk around too much,” Katniss mumbles as I reach the doorway.  “Your leg… “

If getting Willow diapered was difficult with all of her wiggling, getting her wrangled into clothing is even more interesting.  Once I finally get the last snap fastened I lean back onto the couch, propping my knees up and laying her against my legs. I watch in awe as her blue eyes flit around the living room before landing on my face.  

“That’s right, tiny girl,” I whisper.  “I’m your daddy. And I love you, and I’m gonna tell you that every single day of your life, so you never have to wonder.  Okay?”

Willow gives a hard kick, which I take as a favorable response.  

“You are a gift from God,” I continue.  “The most perfect kind of gift. And the cool thing is, He loves you too.  Even more than I do, which I have to admit is pretty hard to believe.” Willow’s small hand wraps around my index finger, holding it tight as she digs her little heels into my stomach, and I squeeze my eyes closed at the onslaught of tears threatening to leak from my eyes.

I always knew that I wanted a family with Katniss, in that vague, nonspecific way that I’m sure a lot of guys do when they meet the love of their lives.  I started dreaming about what our future children would look like almost as soon as we got back together four years ago, at the TobyMac concert. That’s one reason why it was such a shock that the first emotion I felt when Katniss told me she was pregnant, was fear.

Of course, the fact that I’d just been offered an interview for my dream job an hour earlier might’ve had something to do with it.  And the fact that this job was halfway across the country, which meant we would have to leave our home, our jobs, and our church and move to a place I’d never, ever once dreamed of living.  But deep down I knew that wasn’t the main reason why I was afraid.

I was scared I’d be a lousy father.

Katniss and I talked a bit about this stuff during our premarital counseling back at Mountainside Church, both with Pastor Dale and with Finnick and Annie.  But I was always too afraid to admit in front of them just how deeply my fears went. Especially since Katniss herself was frightened as well. It hadn’t been all that long since she’d told me she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted children, after what happened to her family.  She’d lost so many people that she’d loved, she wasn’t sure if she could handle opening her heart to having a family, out of fear of losing them.

And then, with the whirlwind of interviewing for my job, moving, and purchasing our home, for a long time I simply didn’t have a good opportunity to face these fears that were roiling around, deep in my gut.

It wasn’t until Joseph caught me yelling at my computer screen at work one afternoon that I was able to talk through some of them.  I was trying to write my sermon message for the week after Easter, and the words were simply refusing to flow. Katniss’s due date was rapidly approaching, we had passed all the childbirth classes, the car seat was installed in the car, and all the supplies were purchased and being prepped.  And yet, I found myself almost dreading the impending birth.

Poking his head into my office, Joseph asked if he could help me with something, and to my surprise I broke down, right there in front of him, and confessed that I was terrified of my own unborn child.

Being the wonderful Pastor and mentor that he is, Joseph simply listened to me, without interruption, until I talked myself out.  I told him about my family life growing up, how I never felt loved by my mother, how she told me she’d always wanted a daughter and instead got stuck with me.  How she basically disowned me after I told my parents I was going to attend Bible College. How I knew that I wasn’t my mother, but still afraid that I would somehow turn out like her.

And, not surprisingly, once I was done, instead of offering me advice, Joseph told me to close my computer, shut my office door, get down on my knees, and talk to God.

So I did.

And three hours later, with sore knees and a stiff back, I stood back up.  My conversation with God had ranged from ranting to talking to asking to begging during the course of those three hours, but as I drove home afterwards, I realized that a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  And the next day, when Joseph asked me how I was doing, I was able to tell him without hesitation, that I was much, much better.

Because I couldn’t change the fact that my mother had desperately wanted a daughter and had another son instead.  I couldn’t change the fact that she took her frustrations out on me, and my father did little to stop her. I couldn’t change the fact that while I forgave her for all of that, it didn’t mean that I wanted a close relationship with her now that I was an adult.

But I could choose to be different.  I could choose to be better. I could choose to be the kind of father to my children that I wished I had.

And with the Lord’s help, that’s what I’m going to be.

“I love you, baby girl,” I whisper to my daughter.  She taps the finger she’s holding against her cheek.  “Yes, that’s right. You’re my baby girl, and I love you.  And your Mommy loves you, and everyone at church is gonna love you.”  I lean forward, pressing a kiss to her tiny forehead. “And I promise, that you will never have to wonder about it.  Not ever.”

Willow yawns, arching her back, smacking her lips together once she’s done.  Her eyelids are starting to droop and her frenetic movements are starting to slow down.  It must be time to sleep again.

“Let’s go back in by Momma now, okay?” I whisper, chuckling when Willow yawns again in response.  I limp back into the bedroom and climb back onto the bed, careful to avoid jostling Katniss awake.  She stirs anyway as I settle in, reaching for me in her sleep, burrowing closer to my side as I unsnap the front of Willow’s outfit and pull my t-shirt up so she’s lying against my bare chest, regulating her body temperature.  I adjust the blanket across her back and lean against my pillows, closing my eyes as one final thought flits across my consciousness.

This, right here, is real love.

XXXX

“You want to do what?” I ask Katniss as she takes a freshly diapered Willow from me, positioning the baby to nurse.  I can hear Rachel moving around in the kitchen and living room, setting out our breakfast and packing up the birthing supplies that she didn’t get to yesterday, so I know I’m not still asleep.  But there’s no way I could have heard Katniss correctly just now.

“I want to join the worship team,” she repeats.  She looks up at me through narrowed eyes. “What.  I thought you’d be happy.”

A huge smile splits my face.  I guess I really did hear her correctly.  “Are you kidding me? I’m ecstatic! I just never thought that you’d… I mean… what made you decide on this?”

Katniss looks down at the newborn cradled against her breast and presses her lips together.  “Yesterday, while I was in labor. During the transition part, where I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I made a deal with God.  I told Him that if He got me through the rest of the labor, that I would join the worship team when Willow got a bit older. As a thank you.”  She brings Willow’s tiny hand to her lips, her grey eyes shimmering with tears. “The Lord held up His end of the bargain, so now it’s my turn.”

My chin starts to quiver, and I shake my head in disbelief.  I’ve dreamt of a day where the rest of our church could see how beautiful Katniss is when she sings, where they could be as mesmerised by her enchanting voice as I am.  But she was always adamant that she didn’t like singing in front of strangers. She always said she only sang for people she loved. I never in a thousand lifetimes thought she would willingly change her mind.

“Katniss, you know that’s not how—“

“Yes, I know that’s not how God works,” she interrupts.  “But it’s how I work.  And you know I don’t like owing anyone.”  She looks back down at the baby. “I want her to see that her Momma’s not afraid to face her fears.”

I reach over and cup her cheek, turning her head to look at me.  “You’re sure about this?”

She nods, kissing my palm.  “Yes. I’m going to talk to Cinna about it the next time I see him.  I know they practice one evening a week, so you’d have to make sure you could watch Willow while I’m practicing.  And I’m not going to start until she’s at least a few months old. But I am gonna do this, Peeta. I made a promise.”

I choke back a sob as a tear rolls down my cheek.  “You have such an amazing gift, Katniss. People aren’t going to know what hit them when they hear you sing.”

“You’ll be there to watch me the first few times, right?” she asks in a small voice.  

“I’ll be there every time,” I say, bringing my other hand to pat Willow’s head.  “We both will.”

Katniss smiles, leaning in for a kiss.  “Thank you.”

Our attempt at a second kiss is interrupted by a loud knock on the door.  “Are you ready for a shower before you eat, Katniss?” Rachel calls.

“Come on in, Rachel,” Katniss replies, winking at me as she hands me the baby.  “I’m ready.”

The door swings open as the compact, grey-haired midwife enters the room.  “Good morning, Peeta,” Rachel says as Willow and I slide off the bed. “How was your first night as a daddy?”

I hike Willow up onto my shoulder, patting her gently on the back and grinning when she rewards me with a loud burp.  “It was glorious.”

Rachel gives us a huge grin.  “Aww, aren’t you two the picture of happiness this morning!  I love it when the daddies are able to bond with their little ones right away.  Now, go out there and eat your breakfast while it’s hot.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

There’s a brand-new little bouncy seat set up next to the couch, a baby gift sent to us from Delly and Thom.  After I get Willow strapped into the seat I head to the kitchen, filling a plate with the delicious food that Rachel brought before returning to the living room to sit on the floor next to my daughter.

“Your Mommy has made me so happy today,” I say to Willow around a mouthful of fried potatoes.  “And it’s all your doing, baby girl.” I grab onto her foot, pressing her bootied toes to my lips.  “You’re not even a day old yet, and you’re already changing our lives for the better.”

XXXX

Six months later.

“Oohh, I don’t know if I can do this,” Katniss says, slumping into a chair behind the main auditorium stage.  It’s five minutes prior to the start of the first morning service of the weekend. “I don’t think I’m ready yet, Peeta.  There’s too many people out there!”

Hiking Willow up onto my hip, I crouch down to look at her.  “Yes, you are, Katniss. You are ready. You’ve been practicing for four months now, and you’ve been leading worship at the Alive services for a month already.  This is no different from that.”

“But there’s twice as many people here, Peeta!” she cries.  “And the teens don’t listen as closely anyway.”

“Yes, they do,” I say firmly.  I cup her cheek in my free hand, urging her to look at me.  “You don’t know the effect you have on people, Katniss. Your voice is captivating.  I hear all the kids talking about how good you are, and these adults will be no different.”

“But—“

“Cinna thinks you’re ready,” I interrupt.  “And I know you’re ready. You’re going to be wonderful, Katniss.  And Willow and I will be in the front row, cheering you on.”

Biting her bottom lip, Katniss finally nods, her grey eyes falling on our daughter.  “You brought her headphones, right? This auditorium is louder than the smaller one.”

“Yes.  They’re in my coat pocket.”  I press my lips to Katniss’s forehead.  “Willow’s going to be fine, love. She’s with me.”

A huge smile breaks over Katniss’s beautiful face.  “Of course she’ll be fine if she’s with you.” She holds her arms out.  “Let me give her a hug though.”

Handing Willow to her mother, I get to my feet, pulling both of my girls into a big hug.  “You’ve got this, Katniss. If it helps, just pretend you’re singing to only Willow and me.  Okay?”

Katniss nuzzles Willow’s chubby cheek, laughing as the baby lets out a giggle.  “I love you, sweet girl. And I love you, too,” she adds as she reaches her hand around my neck, pulling me down for a kiss.  “Thank you.”

“Everything okay, Katniss,” Cinna asks, poking his head in through the curtain.  “It’s time to take the stage.”

“Yes,” Katniss says, smiling up at me.  “Everything’s fine.”

With a final kiss, Willow and I head down the stairs and into the auditorium, taking our seat in the front row.  I slip the bright pink, noise-reducing headphones over Willow’s little ears just as the band takes the stage. Willow spots Katniss right away, letting out an adorable squeal as she claps excitedly.

“That’s right, Willow,” I say.  “That’s your Mommy up here on that stage.  And she’s gonna sing for us.”

Willow stills as the lights dim around us, looking around with her wide blue eyes as keyboard chords fill the auditorium.  On the stage Katniss steps forward, microphone in hand, and looks straight down at the two of us as she begins to sing.

Staring into Your eyes Makes my heart come alive Suddenly brought to life When I met You

Reaching beyond the skies Running deep, stretching wide Perfect love realized Here with You

Cinna’s lower, gravelly voice takes over for the second part of the verse, but Katniss’s eyes don’t waver from Willow and me for a second.

Yeah this love is for real You will never let go Never let go, oh And it’s more than just words Love beyond my control Out of control

Heads up!

I can see our church family singing along, enthralled by Katniss’s enchanting voice.  Willow bounces happily in my arms as Katniss and Cinna’s voices combine beautifully for the chorus.

This is real love This is real love

Oh, this is real love This is real love

As the song draws to an end, I wink at Katniss, smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt.  All around us, people are bursting into applause for my beautiful wife and her beautiful voice.  I squeeze my baby girl closer to me, sighing in happiness as Willow lays her little head against my chest and grabs a handful of my shirt, absolutely secure in her daddy’s love even at only six months old.

This truly is real love.

Thank you, Jesus.

Song Reference:

Real Love by Hillsong Young and Free

#Springtime Edition 2018 #geekymoviemom #prompt 21 #submission

[blueplanettrash]

Day 9: Christmas Tree

I promise that I will catch up soon. I had a lot of things going on the past few days and I did something to my shoulder and it really hurts to move it certain ways, so I couldn’t really concentrate on writing (so if something seems strange in this story, its honestly because of that). Anyway, I will be doing all of the days over the next two-ish days I hope, if it doesn’t get too busy. So, sorry and I hope you enjoy! ❤️

He was a bit disappointed when it got around to a few days before Christmas and his family still hadn’t gotten a Christmas tree. Really, he couldn’t blame them, they were extremely busy that year. So many things, good and bad had happened and they didn’t really have time to go that year.

“Mamá, I can go by myself if you want,” he suggested that morning as his mother raced around the kitchen trying to get everything ready for the holiday. His Papá, Mark, and Marie were all busy working during the days leading up to Christmas and Caleb and Sophie were spending a lot of their time at school and with their friends before the hustle and bustle of Christmas overwhelmed them.

“Are you sure?” She asked as she pulled a tray out of the oven. She turned to him and pulled him closer, planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Yeah mamá, its the least I can do,” he insisted walking over to the closet and pulling his coat, hat, and gloves out. It had snowed the night before and the temperature had dropped, preserving the blanket of snow outside.

“Should you really be going all alone though?” She asked with a worried tone. Lance laughed, waving off her worries.

“It’s only a tree, what could possibly happen?”

Someone must hate him somewhere. That is the only explanation for what happened. He was currently laying trapped underneath the tree that he just cut down. It wasn’t a very big tree, small enough that he could drag it back to his car and strap it on, but he fell into deep enough snow that he didn’t have any leverage to push himself up again. If that wasn’t bad enough, he fell on top of a frozen creek and cracked the ice, now his entire back was soaked. He couldn’t even move his arms enough to reach for his phone since they were sticking straight up.

“Help! Can anybody hear me!?” He called out, only hearing his voice echo out slightly from where he was trapped. He didn’t have much hope of someone hearing him since the tree farm he went to was practically abandoned when he got there. He struggled trying to get up as frustrated tears welled up in his eyes. He needed to get out of there, if he didn’t it was entirely possible that he was going to die there. He didn’t tell his mamá where he was going, or anybody really.

“HELP!” He screamed out louder as the panic fully set in. As he squirmed in his makeshift prison, snow fell off of the tree’s branch and landed on his face. He let out a small whimper as tears rolled down his cheeks melting the snow. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He was scared. He was alone, and he felt so stupid.

Hunk laughed with his mom while they watched Ellen on TV. Their focus shifted to the doorway when his father walked in holding the cordless phone.

“Phone for you Hunk,” he said holding it out to him. Hunk furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, if any of his friends were trying to contact him they would have texted him. He got up from the couch and took the phone from his dad and walked out of the living room.

“Hello?”

“Hunk?”

“Mrs. McClain?” He asked in confusion. He had never gotten a call from Lance’s mom before.

“Hunk, have you seen Lance, he went out to get a tree around 11 today and he still hasn’t come home,” she said, her voice obviously panicked. Hunk’s eyes widened and he looked at the clock on the oven. It read 4:23.

“No, Mrs. McClain I haven’t, I can get everyone and we can go look for him,” he said determinedly. He knew that Lance wasn’t someone to worry his friends and family on purpose, so something must have happened.

“Thank you so much Hunk, we’re looking around the house and neighbourhood to see if anyone has seen him,” she informed him, he could hear the slight warble in her voice.

“I’ll call you immediately if we find Lance,” he said before saying goodbye and hanging up. He took out his phone and started texting the group chat telling them that they had to meet up somewhere and that it was an emergency. They decided to meet at Pidge’s since her parents weren’t going to be home for a while.

Everybody got there before Hunk and immediately started questions when he got through the door.

“They can’t find Lance, he went out to get a Christmas tree about five hours ago and haven’t seen him since,” they stood in shocked silence before Pidge whipped out her laptop.

“I’m going to track his phone, it won’t be exact but we’ll have a basic area to work with,” she said before anyone could ask any questions. As soon as she had a location she flipped the screen around showing everyone the address.

“A tree farm? He could be anywhere in there,” Keith said worriedly.

“At least we know where he is, let’s go,” Shiro said, picking his coat up from where he flung it over the couch and grabbed his keys on his way out the door. The rest of them following close behind him. As they walked out the door towards Shiro’s car, they noticed that it had started to snow again and they hoped that Lance at least a little protected from the elements where ever he was.

If it wasn’t for the water that was soaking into his back, the snow around him would have kept him at least a bit warm. He had been shivering violently for the past couple of hours at least. Since he had become trapped he hadn’t stopped crying, the feeling of panic had yet to cease. At least it gave him something to concentrate on, rather than the overwhelming urge to fall asleep. He had no idea whether anyone had even noticed that he hadn’t come home yet. Sure, he knew that his mamá would eventually notice but sometimes it felt like he was the most unimportant one in the house.

Obviously, it was an awful thing to think since there shouldn’t really be a ranking for that in a family but you can’t help but think about where you stand in relation to your siblings in your parent’s eyes.

He didn’t even know what he was thinking about anymore. The numbing chill was finally starting to go to his brain. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of his mouth before he clamped his mouth shut. He noticed a little bit ago that it had started snowing again, the tree that was covering him kept most of the new flakes out but they also started to pile on top, making the boughs lean down close to his face. He really hoped that it wouldn’t fall on his face, he would actually start bawling if it did. Not that he hadn’t already that day but still.

His eyes started fluttering shut slightly as the thoughts continued to fly through his head. He was so tired. He was really sick of trying to stay awake. It was like trying to stay awake after pulling an all-nighter when you really didn’t need to stay away.

“Just a little snooze,” he mumbled to himself as he eyes slipped shut and his body started to relax in the snow.

They shot open again when he heard a faint call in the distance. He strained to hear, hoping that it wasn’t a howl of wind that he heard. He waited in tense silence, head tilted to the side so it wasn’t blocked by the snow.

He could barely hear it over the rushing wind, and natural blockade of the tree.

“Lance!” He heard a voice yell out from far away. Tears of relief welled up in his eyes and he sucked in a breath before screaming out.

“HELP!”

He and the voice continued their yells as they got closer and closer to him until finally, he saw the beam of a flashlight roam over the branches of the tree and stop on where his gloved hand was sticking up of the snow.

“Oh my god Lance!” The voice he now recognized as Shiro cried out. He could hear him plowing through the deep snow towards him. He sobbed in complete happiness and relief when he pulled the tree off of him and pulled him up. Even as he was put on solid ground, his legs buckled beneath him and he clutched onto Shiro’s jacket desperately so he wouldn’t fall to the ground.

As Shiro’s eyes roved over Lance, he noticed that he was violently shivering, his teeth were chattering against each other, his cheeks were bright red, but his lips were slightly blue. He scooped him up in his arms and started rushing back to the car, fishing his phone out of his pocket in order to call everybody back to the car.

“Sorry Lance,” Shiro said as he started stripping him out of his wet clothes and wrapped him in the spare blankets he had in the trunk of his car. He picked him up again and laid him in the passenger seat and cranked the heat up, directing the warm flow over to him. He called each of them to let them know that he had found Lance and that he was resting in the car. It took less than a minute for Hunk to come sprinting out of the forest and slide into the car behind Lance and wrap his arms around the seat to hug him.

“Are you okay man?” He asked tearfully, pressing his head into the headrest in front of him.

“I’m cold,” Lance rasped, his lips no longer chattering but exhaustion was starting to creep over him. Hunk and Shiro both nodded in understanding.

After a few minutes, Pidge and Keith jogged out of the woods and climbed into the car, both asking him the same question and receiving the same answer. As they drove back to Lance’s house, after Keith and Pidge switched to Lance’s car so it wouldn’t be left behind, Hunk called Lance’s mom assuring her that he was safe and they were on their way back. Before Hunk could hang up, Lance reached out a trembling hand for the phone.

“Mamá?” He asked. There was a loud sigh of relief on the other end.

“Lance? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She asked calmly. On the inside, though she was frantic. She couldn’t imagine what had happened to her little boy that he wasn’t able to come home for hours.

“I’m fine mamá,” He said quietly before tearing up slightly. “I’m sorry,” he warbled.

“What? For what?” She asked in confusion.

“I’m sorry for worrying you I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry I didn’t get the tree,” he cried, clutching the phone to his cheek. Rosa’s heart broke, that's what he was worried about?

“It’s okay honey, it’s all okay,” she soothed. She could hear him sniffling through the phone and wanted more than anything to be cradling him in her arms at that moment. At least he would be home soon and she would be able to do just that.

“Tomorrow, we’ll all go out together to get a Christmas tree, okay Lance?” She asked.

“Okay,” he agreed quietly, wiping his eyes. He couldn’t wait to get home. All he wanted right now was one of his mamá’s warm hugs.

“I’ll see you soon, I love you,”

“I love you too, mamá,”

#vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #lance mcclain #lance #hunk garrett #hunk #takashi shirogane #shiro #pidge gunderson #pidge #keith kogane #keith #lance's family #langst #angst #MerryLangstmas #fanfic

[tylermagnusenvest]

22nd September 2015

He was tired. He’d been tired for five days. He was always tired here, actually, it was one of those things you just got used to. The days had been leisurely spent, most of the time in the library or out on the grounds with Alice, they found shaded areas where the grass was soft under foot and he’d watch her chase butterflies or snooze in the sun. But he was still tired. It was just one of those things, nothing had to happen in particular, but he woke up tired and went to bed tired. He could sleep for two hours or ten and he was still tired. He was tired of hearing his phone chime beside him, glancing at the name on the screen, his heart aching. What could he say? He had nothing to say, didn’t know where to begin, watched the phone ring and when it stopped there was an overwhelming sadness that took him. So tired. Of waking up alone, sitting in the library alone, tip-toeing through the house alone, opening his mouth to speak and realising there was no one to talk to. Exhausted when there was someone to talk to. Or be talked at. Sit up straight, Tyler. Eat slower, Tyler. You’re too quiet, Tyler. You’re not quiet enough, Tyler.

Be better, Tyler.

He had spent one afternoon in other’s company, on Sunday when his aunt and uncle had paid them a visit. That was exhausting too. His aunt and uncle had a way of asking him questions and then answering them for him, they could have whole conversations in which Tyler didn’t have to talk at all, other than a ‘yes’ or ‘of course’ here and there to show he was listening. They liked to assume lots of things, Tyler let them, he had learnt a long time ago that arguing with his family about who he was was a pointless venture. Especially as sometimes he was exactly what they thought of him. Hopeless, desperate, little Tyler. Let me guess, they grew tired of you? A tight smile. That’s to be expected, not everyone can keep up with our standards. A small nod. It was easy to appease and easier to agree. Sometimes he could feel the control slip though, the exact moment something in his life fell through his fingers, conversations where he tried to speak but he was quickly dismissed. He had to be vague, when they asked about work, he couldn’t tell them where, if he did he could never go back. It didn’t matter though, he mentioned work and immediately the conversation shifted, all three of them latched onto a plan he could feel himself being trapped in. If it’s not Ministry work than there’s really no point in it. But he liked it. Don’t be ridiculous, people like us don’t settle for anything but the best. It was alright, really. It will be, this is easily fixed, a position in the Ministry is always kept open for an Envest. His chest felt tight, he could barely breathe, he opened his mouth to speak but already the conversation was continuing without him. Something with Seth, perhaps? No, perhaps another department. There’s always assistant positions. An Envest would never be an assistant. Not for anyone, but for the right person, a good connection goes a long way.

He didn’t go to work yesterday. Couldn’t risk it. Not that it would matter soon, he was only delaying the inevitable, once his family had decided something it was bound to happen. If he were lucky they wouldn’t push him into the Ministry until next week. But maybe it was better this way, he loved his job but it wasn’t necessarily something he could do forever, a Ministry job would be more challenging and long-term, he could probably be there for the rest of his life. He could enjoy it, maybe, if he were being useful. An assistant wouldn’t be so bad, someone to give him things to do, trust him with something again. That was it though, in the end, he was so easily persuaded by the idea of someone willing to guide him, praise him, notice him, need him. Maybe that would be alright. He would get a good pay, have something to do every day, his family would surely be glad if he did well in the Ministry. He could stay here then, with his grandmother, she wouldn’t send him somewhere else if he did well. It wasn’t so bad, long days in the library, no one to talk to. Tyler had never needed people to talk to growing up, he could certainly live with it now. If he worked in London he could see Jeremy some more, if Jeremy even wanted to see him at all, even if he didn’t it would be nice just knowing he was nearby. Maybe they’d bump into each other from time to time, and Tyler wouldn’t know what to say but it wouldn’t matter, he could just hear Jeremy’s voice and that’s all he’d need.

He thought about Jeremy all the time, whenever he let his mind wander, though doing so made his chest ache. He’d been so selfish and stupid, Jeremy couldn’t possibly want to see him now, and even if he did how could he face him? He felt so embarrassed whenever he thought about how they’d left things last time, or how he’d left things, turning his back and running away. Tyler dreaded seeing Jeremy’s name flash up on his phone, dreaded picking up his calls or reading his messages, what if he did and Jeremy was breaking up with him? He couldn’t deal with that right now, selfish as it was, he needed to pretend that at least Jeremy wanted him. But it was killing him, he spent hours sometimes staring at his phone, looking at the list of missed calls and wishing he’d taken each and every one of them. Just to hear his voice, just for a moment, just long enough to satisfy this dull ache that had settled in his chest. It was worse at night, lying in bed, so very tired but unable to properly settle, drifting in and out of sleep every hour or so. The first night, when he startled himself awake, he’d reached out beside him and felt a twang of panic rise up and choke him when he felt no one there. It settled when he remembered where he was, why he was alone, and instead he felt so incredibly lonely. He wanted to feel Jeremy’s form close to his, roll over and snuggle himself into his boyfriend’s arms, be soothed by his sleepy voice offering whispered encouragement. But it had been a long time since Jeremy had even shared a bed with him... since Hogwarts, in fact. Did Jeremy miss him? He never mentioned it, he was so busy with everything, with work and his family and this whole life he had outside of Tyler. Maybe if he were busy too, he’d thought, but even so he’d wind up lying in bed alone at the end of the night, wondering whether Jeremy was lying awake somewhere thinking of him too. To see him, to feel him, to breathe him in- Tyler dreamt about all of the above.

He’d had lunch already today. Thought about Jeremy at least a dozen times, each time hitting him like a freight train. He spent a few hours in his room, reading and then selecting out an outfit for dinner, indulging himself in trying on several outfits he wasn’t sure he’d ever see again. That was one of the few things he’d truly missed, no need for excuses to dress up and look fine, all he had to do was open his wardrobe and there was nothing but completely proper outfits. There was only so many he could ask Alice’s opinions on- with her giving no real feedback- before he had to give up. They’d go for a walk instead, he decided, ushering her out of his room and heading down the hall with her quick on his heels. He got to the top of the main stairs, Alice now bounding ahead of him, when the front doors swung open and the voices that broke the quiet of the house had him immediately coming to a halt.

“And so the rumours are true! I had to see it for myself, the prodigal son returns, how completely predictable. Never could stay away long, could you? Just another little grab for attention.”

Seth. Funny how a single person could set every nerve on edge. Tyler disliked a lot of things about his family, how they were, how they treated him, how they made him feel small and useless and never enough. That was difficult but Seth, Tyler loathed him. He loathed the way he talked, the way he came floundering into the entrance hall, spreading his arms wide in mocking welcome, sly smile already plastered on his face. He hated that he was boastful and cruel, that he didn’t hesitate to tear him down in front of other people like some of his other relatives did, he hated that when he spoke Tyler felt a flush of embarrassment fill his cheeks. Because he wasn’t even looking at Seth, he wished that was all it was but instead he was looking straight past him, at the couple a pace behind. His cousin never held back his opinions, not before and not now, not even with Alastair standing there. He looked so handsome, refined and proper, stood tall and strong. No one else would’ve seen it, that flash of surprise and confusion and frustration that crossed his face, when their eyes met. He was so good at covering it up, barely a second and the look was gone, a small smile plastered there instead when he turned to the woman on his arm. Merlin, she was beautiful. Dignified and graceful. She stood well next to Alastair, her arm linked through his, their eyes meeting warmly before their attention was back on him. And he hated it. He prayed his ability to control his emotions was half as good as Alastair’s.

“Seth,” His grandmother’s voice barely distracted him from the situation as she walked into the entrance hall. “And you’ve brought Alastair with you, Annmaria too, what a pleasant surprise.”

“We thought we’d call in to catch up,” Annmaria, her voice was nice too, polite. “Perhaps have some afternoon tea?”

“Of course, I’ll have the elves prepare some immediately, won’t you all follow me into the front room?”

“I actually-” Oh God, he’d missed that voice. “Thought I might take a look in your library, while I’m here, if that’s alright? Some work at the Ministry requires additional research and your collection is much more established than ours, it won’t take a moment, especially if you’ll assist me, Tyler?”

Ah, he was looking right at him, Tyler couldn’t find the words.

“Tyler?” Seth scoffed. “Get one of the elves to do it.”

“I wouldn’t trouble them, plus I don’t believe many people are as well acquainted with your collection as Tyler is, it won’t take me more than a moment.” He was good at making things seem so casual, it was a confidence in this world that Tyler had never mastered, though he didn’t understand the point in it. He couldn’t bring himself to look when Alastair turned to his wife and addressed her, “Ann, would you go ahead without me, I won’t bore you with this.”

“Of course, love, we’ll find much more interesting things to discuss without you, I’m sure.”

Footfall on the stairs drew his gaze back, Alastair was already stepping up beside him while the others disappeared down the hall, before he could find anything to say Alastair had taken his arm and was pulling him back up the stairs and towards the library. The balcony level of the library was one of his favourite places in the house, all the books his grandmother enjoyed were on the ground floor, up here was more battered copies and study materials, if he hid up here he was rarely bothered. The windows were bigger up here too, streaming light into the space between the bookshelves, with seats set into the frame, he’d spent many hours here as a child, tucked up on one of the many plush surfaces with his face buried in a book. He had been here with Alastair before too, had his breath stolen by kisses against the shelves, found himself grasping at a dream that had long died. Those were the days when Alastair promised to take him away from all of this, he supposed in some ways he had, or at least provided him with the means to leave himself. Now he was back here, with Alastair pulling him to the far side of the room, and he could feel his feet dragging with the energy it took to just be around him now. Alastair stopped, Tyler stumbled a step to halt in time so that they didn’t crash together, when Alastair turned to look at him he wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Tyler,” Alastair paused to inhale a breath, released the hold he still had on his arm and pinched the bridge of his nose instead. “What are you doing here?”

“I-” His voice croaked, he shook his head.

“How long have you been here? You shouldn’t be here.”

Alastair dropped his hand away from his face. He could see it in unbelievably clearly, he was so disappointed in him, and he had been before but not like this. Not enough for Loxley, not good enough for Jeremy, now even Alastair was finding out how much of a let down he was. He could feel his lip quivering, he bit down on it, looked to the floor to avoid Alastair’s gaze and closed his eyes when he felt the well of tears coming. He heard Alastair sigh, then felt his hands on his face, cupping his cheeks. The tears bubbled over immediately and Alastair wiped them away, still they dripped down his cheeks and rolled off his chin, he brought trembling hands up and placed them over Alastair’s.

“You look so tired, love.”

He was tired, he felt so weak, his legs were shaking. He blinked his eyes open and opened his mouth to speak but only managed a sob instead. Alastair drew him closer, shifted his hands to take a hold of his, and when the man took a seat and pulled him down too he melted into the space gratefully. It had been five days since he’d seen a friendly face, since anyone had even touched him, since anyone had given him the chance to speak properly. And he couldn’t. Now he had the opportunity he couldn’t find the words. He felt like a child again, it had been a while since he’d felt so alone and vulnerable, and just like before Alastair was the only person to take any notice, to treat him gently when the rest of the world didn’t. Alastair’s thumbs stroked over the back of his hands, the space wasn’t really big enough for the two of them but Tyler was glad of that for the time being, found himself slumping against Alastair’s frame and wanting to be as close to him as possible. Pull me together, like you’ve done before. Tyler was so tired of doing it for himself but what else did he have?

“You can’t be here, Tyler. A year, you were out, you can’t come back into this.” Soothing as his voice was, he was serious too, in that way that Tyler found comforting. He needed that, someone sure of themselves, to take charge, because he was so tired of being in charge. “I won’t let you fall back into this, I’ll take you back to the house right now, we can just-”

“I can’t.” Tyler shook his head quickly.

“Why not?”

“There’s nothing there, Al. It’s all just gone, it’s all over-” He could hear his voice getting higher, as air struggled to find it’s way into his lungs, a familiar panic settling in his bones when all the thoughts he’d collected over the last week or so came tumbling out of him all at once. “Loxley’s gone, he’s gone and he hates me, he hates me because I’m serious and boring and never get anything right. It was so stupid, I thought I could just leave and start this new life, I thought if I opened my heart and gave so much of myself to someone else they would actually want it? But no one ever does. I try and I try and no one wants me, whatever I do no one wants me, however much I love them they don’t want me. I’m never enough, not for anyone, I wasn’t enough for you and I’m not enough for Loxley and everyone knows I’m not enough for Jeremy, everyone except Jeremy himself but even he probably sees it now. I’m so tired, Al, I’m always tired. I’m tired of working hard, I’m tired of standing on my own, I’m tired of taking charge, I’m tired of having to be this person who no one wants around. I can’t be there any more, I can’t keep pouring everything into a future that the other person doesn’t give a crap about and he doesn’t- Loxley doesn’t care about anything unless it’s his and his choice and on his terms. Nothing I do is enough, I don’t work hard enough, I don’t try enough, I don’t laugh enough or make friends enough, I go out of my way to set up some kind of life for us and it’s still not enough.”

“Tyler-”

“I thought he was my home,” His breath caught, body shaking as he slumped against Alastair further. “But I don’t have one. I've tried so, so hard. I’m tired now. The only place I ever belonged was with my parents and then they were gone, and I was stuck here, and I waited so long for someone to take me away and make things better- I tried to make things better myself. And I thought it would be ok, it didn’t even have to be a place, I just wanted to find someone who made things feel ok. But every time I think I’m close, every time I put everything into someone else, it just falls apart, everyone leaves, they find what they need somewhere else and I can’t keep picking myself up off the ground and hoping it gets better. Maybe this is as good as it gets. It’s not the family I wanted but it’s mine. I don’t have to get hurt here, things are as they are and that’s good enough, I can’t waste my time letting someone in again only to realise it was worth nothing.”

Though he didn’t say it- couldn’t say it- he meant Alastair too. It took such a long time for Tyler to open up to people, once he did his heart grew so full of them, he’d do anything and be anything to make them happy. It became so easy for people to hurt him. And they had, time and time again, waited until he couldn’t love them any more and then pushed him away. It had hurt to lose Alastair, hurt because he lost him and hurt because he was forever losing him, they stumbled in and out of each other’s lives but never found a place for each other there. But it had always been a dream, a foolish one he was naive to ever believe in... Loxley was meant to be different. They weren’t as simple as friends, weren’t technically a family either, they had never been lovers. He was his love though. His home. When he said he gave Loxley his heart it wasn’t like anyone else, it wasn’t a ‘I’ll give you my body first, and maybe you’ll crack the heart later’, it was a pure exchange of everything he was and had for the simple dream of having a home. Tyler hadn’t thought it was a lot to ask, not for all he was willing to give for it. He just wanted Loxley to love him. To need him. To notice him. But he didn’t. He loved him when it suited him. Needing him when things went wrong. Noticed only the things he failed to get right. Tyler didn’t know how else to be. Serious and careful. He had to be, because Loxley was never those things, and Tyler wasn’t in a position to throw caution to the wind and hope everything worked out... but he was so tired now. And it hurt. Because it just wasn’t enough. Found them a temporary house. Not enough. Worked two jobs. Not enough. Saved all his money for their future. Not enough.

Not enough.

Again.

He was shaking and sobbing, Alastair had gathered him up in his arms and cradled him to his chest, and everything hurt. He was done now. No more running. His life here was lonely and days were long but he could cope with that, let them scold him and break him down, he’d build himself back up and start all over again. It would still hurt less, he didn’t care so much when he was here, being hurt by people who meant nothing to him was never as bad as being hurt by the people who meant everything.

“You can’t stay here,” Alastair repeated, voice muffled in his hair. “You promised me they’d take care of you, I promised I could let you go if you were happy but you’re not, and you’re here, and I’m not leaving you.”

But what could he do? Alastair was good at this, how many days had he wasted waiting for Alastair to make that a reality? How many days had he wasted hoping someone would take him away from all of this? Sometimes it felt like he was still that child, silent and hurting, sat on the stairs and staring at the door, waiting for someone to come and get him.

When the door to the library pushed open, instinct kicked in, he made a swift attempt to pull away from Alastair’s hold and his brain was already piecing together some sort of excuse. No one could see them like this, they couldn’t know about Alastair, it would destroy him. Tyler knew that but when he jerked away he didn’t get far, pulled right back in, held so close he could feel Alastair’s heart thumping wildly in his chest. Stupid idiot. Why was he doing this? Tyler could feel himself trembling harder, he bit hard on his lower lip to prevent himself from sobbing. Please let go of me. Please let go of me. Please let go of me. Footsteps echoed in the quiet of the space, drawing closer, and he didn’t understand why they weren’t being dragged to their feet and ridiculed already. Maybe silence was worse. It made him feel sick. And now his ears were ringing. Perhaps he’d pass out. He wanted to pass out. Free himself from all of this for just a moment.

When Alastair spoke it was so soft, “Ann.”

Oh. Oh it was even worse than Tyler had imagined.

He heard her sigh a short distance away.

“All this time and you’ve not even made a successful rescue, you are truly hopeless.”

He felt Alastair’s chest heave with an inaudible laugh.

Tyler didn’t understand, he had his eyes squeezed shut and face buried to Alastair’s chest, but it had been at least a minute since the fresh wave of panic had set in and nothing had happened yet. So he dared unravel himself slightly, clung to Alastair still but sucked in a breathe and turned his face so he could peek at the wife of the man whose lap he was curled up on. She was truly beautiful, stood tall even now, and Tyler might have been absolutely terrified of the intensity of her gaze on him had it not been filled with such sincere concern. When she stepped forward he flinched, wanted desperately for Alastair to make him vanish somehow, but instead his breath caught in his throat as delicate hands cupped his face, rubbed away fresh tears from his cheeks, brushed hair from his eyes. She studied his face for a moment, her brows creasing in thought, and then she smiled. And it was warm and open, laced with comfort.

“You poor darling, I’ve been here little more than a few hours at a time but it doesn’t surprise me that this house can bring people to such extremes, staying here is simply out of the question.” It was borderline bizarre, when she gently took his hands in hers, uncurling his fingers from the front of her husband’s clothes, her smile never wavering. “Now, as my dear husband is so inept at carrying out the simplest of tasks, it seems it falls to me to rescue you. Alastair, I trust you can handle gathering Tyler’s things, and finding that familiar of his? I’ll take Tyler home now.”

“You-” His voice was hoarse, it hurt to talk. “You can’t apparate from the grounds.”

“No, I had noticed, then we’ll have to walk out.”

It was ridiculous but somehow he believed her.

She encouraged him to his feet and, unsteady as he was, he felt unbelievably safe when she squeezed his fingers. She exchanged brief words with Alastair and then he left, walked back to the door of the library and carried on down the halls towards Tyler’s room. He hadn’t really brought much with him, but he hoped Alastair brought his bag. Ann, on the other hand, instructed him to stand up straight and released his hands momentarily, only so she could straighten out his waistcoat and tuck his hair carefully behind his ears. She smoothed her thumbs over his cheeks one more time and then she took his arm, linked hers around it and took hold of his hand too, as they took the first step he could tell he was leaning on her but she walked steadily regardless. They didn’t even make it to the door before Alice came bounding in, running straight for his legs and nuzzling herself against them, they paused to watch the feline show her concern and then Ann gently told her to come along, for she was invited to stay too. When they reached the stairs Alastair was already waiting for them, a large suitcase in his hold- Tyler had definitely not brought that with him, but didn’t stop to question it as Ann began leading him down the stairs. And then his heart dropped, they’d not even reached the bottom before his grandmother strolled into the entrance hall with Seth close behind, her face unreadable but his twisted in anger.

“What is the meaning of this?”

Tyler wanted to die.

“I’m afraid, Lady Envest, that tea will have to wait for another occasion. We hadn’t realised your grandson was staying with you, I realise that must be quite the inconvenience, so I’ve decided it makes much more sense that he stay with us instead.”

“What?” Seth was seething, teeth gritted, his mother opened to speak again but he was quickly silenced be a raised hand from their grandmother.

“It is an inconvenience but Tyler is of my blood, it is my inconvenience to deal with, I couldn’t possibly allow him to become a burden to someone else.”

“Not a burden, I assure you, in fact I insist upon it.”

He could see it then, a flare of anger in his grandmother’s eyes. People didn’t do that, they didn’t come into her home and tell her what to do, they didn’t take that control from her, it simply wasn’t heard of.

“Mrs Rowle, my grandson will remain here.”

“Forgive me, Lady Envest, but I don’t believe this is your decision to make. I made the offer to Tyler, who graciously accepted, your opinion on the matter is of no relevance.”

Tyler had never seen anything like it, never heard anything like it, and it was over so soon. One moment they were halted on the stairs and the next Ann was leading him forward, offering a polite nod to his grandmother and clearing her throat before the door so it opened for them. They stepped out into the fresh air, Ann holding him steady and Alastair on his other side, holding his things, Alice trotting just in front. They walked along the drive, kept walking until they were at the very edge of the grounds, never looking back and none of them daring to speak. Tyler felt sick right up until the point they stepped over the threshold, where Alastair scooped Alice up into his arms and then took his other hand.

They disappeared.

~~~

He sat in a well furnished drawing room, in a plush chair with a blanket tucked around his frame and Alice on his lap. This was Alastair’s home. His true home. His marital home. Tyler could tell, it was different than his town house, it had much more history to it yet to him it was completely new. A fire crackled not far away, it had lit automatically when he was ushered into the room a little over an hour ago, at first he’d sat by it, confused and exhilarated and shaking. It didn’t seem real, none of it had felt real. It still didn’t. He only made it to the chair because Alastair had carried him. When he was slumped before the fire, shaking on his knees, Alastair had settled on the floor beside him and drew him back to lean against his frame. He’d held him there for some time, until he wasn’t shaking so violently, then scooped him up and settled him in the nearest chair. That enough was strange but stranger still was Ann, who had paid little attention to their interaction, and instead disappeared to instruct their two (and only) house elves to prepare a room for him. When she came back, and he was sat in the chair, she’d been the one to drape a blanket over his lap and press the back of her hand to his forehead. Tea. The announcement came with a clasp of her hands, then she disappeared to prepare it herself, and came back with a tray full. She set it down on the table beside his chair and poured two cups before settling herself in the next available seat.

“Alastair is running you a bath,” She informed him when she reached for her own cup, releasing a sigh when she continued, “I must admit this isn’t how I saw my day going, managing to upset a renowned matriarch at tea time is not something you get to do every day,” A smile curled her lips when she added, “My parents are going to be furious.”

No, it wasn’t every day that happened. It never happened, actually. He’d never seen anyone talk to his grandmother like that, stand up to her that way, Tyler had argued and fought back against everyone else in the family but his grandmother was different. It was terrifying. And brilliant. He found himself completely in awe of the woman sat beside him and he was struck with a horrific twist of guilt. She was so wonderful. Strong-willed and brave. She was beautiful too, strikingly so, she spoke eloquently and when she smiled there was an infinite amount of warmth there. And he had to remember that this was her home too, in fact perhaps hers more than Alastair’s, this wasn’t Alastair’s parents home for sure so he could only assume it came from her side of the family instead. This was her home, her life, that he’d wandered into. Her husband he’d crawled back into bed with.

“You can stop looking at me like that,” Her voice caught him off guard and he immediately looked down to his lap, comforted very little by Alice curled up there.

“I- I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be,” She paused, taking a sip of tea before she clarified, “For any of it.”

“But I- with Alastair, it was just... and I didn’t know, at first, but then even when I did it was...”

He shook his head, there were no real words for this. It was funny, really, for a long time Tyler had argued that he had nothing to feel guilty over. It was an arranged marriage, Alastair had never loved her, it wasn’t his fault that their families would never allow them to be together, they had to hide somehow. Alastair had tried to reassure him too, it was alright, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t real. But she was real. A real person, a real life, a real marriage.

“While I’m sure Alastair has informed you of this, I understand it may be more sincere coming from me, you really needn’t worry about any of that. Neither of our relationships with Alastair are simple, but I’ve known for a long time what mine was to be, and how I felt about it.” He had a million questions, and she seemed to see that, because she offered a smile when he felt brave enough to look at her again and relaxed further into her seat. “I’d known my parents would choose me a husband for as long as I could remember, even as a child I wasn’t thrilled by the idea. I grew up in America- my mother is British, of course- but my father wanted me to experience the magical world in the US, and we were always around the American pure blood families and their stuck up little brats. I might’ve been young but I knew what I didn’t want, and then there was Alastair. I remember when my mother first told me about him, about her friends from the UK, and their young boy, how they thought he’d be a good match for me. He seemed so very exotic, coming all the way to America so we could grow up together, know each other more before we were wed, and my mother spoke so highly of his good nature and love of reading. I was quite pleased when I first saw him, he was so different to the other boys I’d ever known, he had kind eyes and wasn’t boisterous at all. I remember he came to our house, I’d heard he liked to read so I took him to my playroom, I had so many books in there and when he saw them he studied the whole shelf. I thought I must’ve impressed him a great deal, and then he turned to me and told me of this quiet boy back home, who didn’t speak but loved to read too, who even had muggle books in his collection.”

She gave him a pointed look and Tyler felt his face flush.

“I knew then that things weren’t going to be simple, time only proved that. He always spoke of you, he’d go away for summers and over Christmas to visit his family back home, and when he came back he always had something to say about you. I think I knew before he did, what you had started to mean to him. I knew things had changed when he came back a few summers ago and he couldn’t look me in the eye, for a few days we barely spoke and when we did he admitted that he’d kissed you. I’d never seen him like that, so guilty, and so flustered. I asked him then and there if he’d still marry me.”

“What? Even after he kissed me?”

“Yes, even after that. Don’t worry, it isn’t love that made me ask, merely a need to make sure my future was secure. It must seem very unromantic to you, given how you feel about each other, but I had always known that my future was set one way or another. On one hand, I could admit to myself and my parents that Alastair didn’t love me, nor I him, and call off our future together. Had that decision allowed me the freedom to choose my own future then I might have. My parents though, they would’ve just found some other boy, one not as kind or good as Alastair had always been to me. I chose the other option, marry a man for his wealth and connections, whose heart belonged to someone else... But a man who would take care of me, whose company I enjoyed, who would allow me to live my life for myself and support me as a friend and a companion.” She took a moment, set aside her tea, and turned to face him, reaching across the space to take hold of his hands so he felt her full sincerity when she continued, “I have never loved him, Tyler, not in the way a husband and wife are supposed to love each other, and he’d never loved anyone other than you. I’ve known that from the very first time he spoke of you and it has never hurt me to know that he had someone he loved so dearly, nor has it ever concerned me that the nature of your relationship was that of, as the romantics may say, intimate lovers.”

She rolled her eyes and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Besides, if anything, my dear, you are much more my type than Alastair has ever been. I have always had a fondness for pretty people, Alastair is too many defined edges for my taste, I’m relieved someone was able to appreciate them or he might be even more hopeless than he can be now.”

“He means well, hopeless as he may seem.” Tyler sighed.

“Luckily, I’m competent enough for two in this marriage.”

It was strange. He spent some more time talking with Ann after that, up until his bath was ready, at which point Alastair took him by the hand and showed him to his room. He didn’t ask Alastair if any of this was difficult for him, the last time they’d properly spoke he’d been essentially breaking up with him, not he couldn’t find enough words to thank him. He sat in the tub, Alastair washed his hair, but they didn’t speak and he was grateful that when he was out of the bath and wrapped up in a towel, Alastair left him to get ready himself. He looked through his case and found that Alastair had packed half a dozen outfits from his wardrobe at his grandmother’s, it made his chest warm, he’d have to look after them well as he still couldn’t afford more of his own for a while. Pyjamas had been left on his bed, they were clearly Alastair’s, they were too big on Tyler but he changed into them regardless and smiled to himself when he climbed into bed. It was fairly early, but he was exhausted, he’d had the longest few days and for the first time in a while he thought he might actually be able to sleep. Alice joined him shortly after, she snuggled into his side and they napped for a while. He woke only to be offered some toast and jam for supper, and another cup of tea, which he ate in bed with Alastair at his side, keeping Alice occupied. They shared a silent, tender moment before he left, where Alastair took both of his hands in his and kissed his knuckles. I’m glad you’re safe. Tyler was glad too. Alastair took his tray, gave Alice was one last scratch under her chin, and then left. And Tyler settled back against the pillows and simply, blissfully, slept.

#[ drabbles ] #abuse tw #neglect tw #self deprecation tw #just very heavy but Ty's going through a whole thing and sometimes needs a badass lady to help pull him out of it #alsooooo justttt forgive the lack of plotting with Ty in these last few time slots #this was just something he's going through but after the event he'll be around a lot more

[rantingwriter]

Can you do thing with goms+kagami, kasamatsu, takao, and miyaji where they walk in to find their s/o singing to their kids to help them fall asleep?

Kuroko: After a long, drawn out, meeting with the school board. He wasmore than ready for a relaxing weekend. Walking into the house, he is surprisedby the silence that greets him. He looks around a moment before heading for hisdaughters room. As he approaches the room, he can hear you singing. Peeringinto the room, he finds you rocking your daughter. Singing a lullaby yourmother sang to you when you had problems sleeping as a child. A soft smilegraces his face as the little girl in your arms slowly drifts off to sleep. Youlook up at him with a knowing smile. “You should’ve said something,” hewalks in to help you tuck the young one into bed. 

“I was going to, but I was enjoying your lovely voice.” You rub the back of your neck sheepishly. “Can I convince you to sing for me?” The two of you leave the child’s room to continue speaking. 

“Well…eat some dinner and clean up, then we can talk about a private session.” You were half joking, but he was a hundred percent serious about hearing you sing again. Moving with purpose to fulfill the requirements you listed. “Better start warming up those vocal chords then.” 

“Wait, what? You were serious?” He stops for a moment to look at you. “Yes, I don’t joke, remember?” 

Kise: A small handshakes you awake from your slumber. “M-Mommy I had a nightmare.” You yawn and look towards the source of the voice. Your six year old standing there on the verge of tears. 

“Aw I’m sorry, would you like to sleep with us?” He nods and climbs into your bed, snuggling between you and your husband, who was faking sleep at the moment. “Better?” 

“C-Can you sing to me please?” You smile softly and start quietly singing a lullaby you hear when you were young. Your voice soothing the child to sleep. 

“And here I thought you didn’t like singing in front of people.” Kise states with a teasing tone in his voice. You start feeling flustered that he had heard you. “I should start asking you to sing me to sleep if it means I get to hear that voice of yours.” 

Kagami: He didn’t mean to stay out so late. His old high school buddies were in town so he had gone out for a few drinks. He kept to the promise he made to you about keeping the drinking to a minimum, but he lost track of time talking to the guys. Walking through the front door he was expecting a lecture, instead he is greeted by a melodic tune. You were singing to your fussy toddler, trying to get him to sleep for the night. The sound of your voice lulling the bundle of joy to sleep. “Wow,” he sighs out, the song bringing a warm feeling to his chest. You look up with a mix of surprise and relief. 

“You scared me, where have you been?” 

“Did you learn that from my mom? It sounds very familiar…” Your question going right over his head. 

“Yea, last time we visited she sang it to her.” You sigh, a small smile making it’s way onto your lips. “It works wonders when she gets fussy. Especially when daddy isn’t home to tell her a bed time story.” 

“Sorry, I lost track of time, also had to drive a couple of the guys back to their hotels.” You nod, “Okay, I will let it slide this time…” You got worried easily, due to his line of work. “I’m sorry, how about I make it up to you after I put her to bed.” You nod again, standing to hand the baby off to him. “And then you can sing me to sleep,” He was joking, but he really wanted to hear that voice of yours again. 

Kasamatsu: “Stupid Kise, I told him I needed to get home before 10…” The grumbling continued as he unlocked the front door. Said model had invited him to a party and wouldn’t let him leave. He stops his muttering when he hears you. You are laying on the couch singing into a microphone that is hooked up to a couple of small speakers. Said speakers placed on either side of your swelling stomach. You didn’t sing very often, so it was quite a surprise. “What are you doing?” You gasp, turning your head to look at him. 

“I was wondering when you would get back.” You chuckle and sit up, with a little help from him. “I read online that singing to your baby helps development. Want to try?” He smiles and shakes his head no.

“I would rather listen to you,” a small blush forms on your cheeks. 

“Then, can you play your guitar?” He thinks a few moments before nodding. Grabbing the old instrument to play for you. He was very rusty, but if it made you happy. He would gladly relearn it. 

Midorima: His job was prone to calling him in at odd hours of the night. So when he got back home at 3 in the morning. He is rather startled by the sound of you singing voice. Finding you with the twins, calming them after getting spooked by the sounds of your husband leaving and coming home. Peering in to find the three of you on the floor, the two boys snoozing away in your lap. You stop mid lyric when the floor creaks under his weight. “Emergency call again?” He nods, helping you to tuck the boys back into bed. 

“Yes, I’m sorry if I disturbed you three.” He puts an arm around your back guiding you back to the master bedroom. “You shouldn’t be up anyways, a good nights rest is important for growing babies.” You roll your eyes feeling his other hand caress your still flat stomach. 

“This coming from you who never gets a full night’s sleep?” He turns red out of habit, helping you into bed. “I’m teasing, hurry up and get ready for bed. I need my heater.” You couldn’t help messing with him. Watching as he hurries to get ready for bed again. He really wanted to listen to you sing more, but he was also very tired. Maybe tomorrow he could catch you singing to the twins again. 

Murasakibara: Napping on the couch, he was trying to catch some Z’s while his infant slept. Losing quite a bit of sleep lately, taking care of the extremely loud baby. Since you worked the night shift, that meant he was in charge of caring for the little guy. He was half expecting to wake up after about five minutes of shut eye, but to his surprise he got a good two hours in. “How did that happen?” His question barely audible with how drowsy he was even after the long nap. A soft melody reaching his ears from the nursery. He lumbers over to figure out what the source is. Finding you singing to the sniffling child. A lazy smile graces his face as you calm the cranky baby. Once it stops fussing he speaks up, “you will have to teach me that one.” You turn and grin at him. 

“Gladly, you look more tired than I do half the time.” The small one babbles something at the two of you. 

“Worth it,” he yawns walking back towards the kitchen. “I’ll get her bottle, then you can start teaching me.” You chuckle, letting the little one play with your fingers. Even if it was a lesson, he would gladly sit and listen if it meant hearing you sing again. 

Miyaji: Practice today pissed him off more than usual. The neighborhood team wasn’t a serious team, but he was never one to take the sport lightly. Knowing he was probably walking home to chaos was not helping his mood either. Walking through the door he braces himself for the tackle of four small children. Instead he is met by something so soothing his anger dissipates within seconds. Shutting the door quietly, he traces the sound back to you in the living room. All four of your children sleeping soundly. “How?” He asks, keeping his voice down enough to not disturb the young ones. 

“Tried a new method for nap time. How was practice?” You tiptoe away from the nappers and move to the other room to keep talking. 

“Awful, I wish they would take things more seriously.” He frowns, gladly accepting the hug from you. 

“I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?” 

“You can sing again, for starters.” He smiles at the flush on your cheeks. Just being with you helping his mood already. “And if the little noise makers stay asleep. We can do something else.” His smirk makes your face heat up. Rustling in the other room, telling you both the answer to that second idea. “Guess it’s just a mini concert for me.” 

Takao: Running errands isn’t the funnest thing in the world, but if it meant you could relax for a bit. He was happy to help. You had stayed up extremely late with your daughter last night. The poor girl had gotten sick and barely slept the whole night. He returned home to find you on the couch singing softly to the dozing pale girl. She looked better than last night at least. The soothing sounds of your voice is very pleasant. “How is she feeling?” He whispers, brushing a few stray strands from his daughters face. 

“She has been better, but at least she stopped vomiting.” You yawn, still looking exhausted. 

“At least your lovely singing voice got her to sleep today.” You smile at the compliment, “I’m glad you like it. Want to hear more?” You were joking, but he sits down next to you anyways. “Yes please!~”

Aomine: After going through mountains of paper work. He is more than ready to flop into bed. Walking into the house, he is a little surprised to find the house quiet and intact. Walking towards his room, he is even more surprised to hear you singing. You had all three boys in bed and asleep for the night. Staying quiet, he listens to you and waits for you to leave the boys room. Your voice gradually getting quieter and quieter as you leave the room. “You never told me you could sing.” You jump not realizing he was even home. 

“Y-Yea I don’t really like singing in front of people.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders. Dipping his head down to your ear he whispers, “maybe I could make you sing sometime.” The teasing tone in his voice sending chills down your spine. 

“What are you insinuating?” He grins at you, nipping your ear a little before kissing the side of your head. “I’m kidding, lets get to bed I’m exhausted.” 

Akashi: He was held up in his study all day. You had to bring him food to make sure he ate anything. After finishing up the last of the paperwork he finally gets up from his desk. His joints cracking from siting in the same position for too long. Leaving the stuffy room, he is greeted by a pleasant sound. Walking over to the source, he finds you rocking his son to sleep. Singing the lullaby he heard you play on a music box many times in the past. Waiting patiently for you to put the little boy to bed. He waits until you close the door to speak, “You sound as lovely as ever.” You smile at him, more happy to see him out of his office than you are about the compliment. 

“Thanks, I just figured the sound would help him sleep.” You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his waist. 

“You should do it more often, we both like the sound of your voice.” 

#kuroko #kise #kasamatsu #kagami #midorima #murasakibara #miyaji #takao #aomine #akashi

[babybottlepop96]

Manananggal (Chapter One)

Summary: Captain Levi Ackerman of the Trost Town Police Department, TTPD, find himself stuck in a peculiar case Now he has to catch a potential serial killer while trying keep the ones he loves and cares about safe.

 The breeze wafted through the open apartment window, the curtains blowing softly in the wind that entered the pale green room. The lights have been off for a few hours, the early morning barely letting anyone stay awake. Everyone was too tired, with the weekend finally coming to a close and the parties and bars having closed for the night, everyone was tucked safely under the warmth of their blankets, snoozing softly against their plush pillows. The man lying in the green room felt like the rest of the town, tired beyond exhaustion and his head had the pillow, falling asleep instantly, still in his party clothes. He was usually very cautious, making sure doors were locked and windows were sealed, but tonight? He couldn’t be bothered, besides, nothing bad has happened in his hometown in the last decade, he felt safe inside the comfort of his apartment. 

When morning came and the time for work came, the man never woke up. Not for his alarm, not for the missed calls from his coworkers for the next three days. Not even for the sound of a fist pounding against the wooden door. “Mr. Wilson! It’s Annie! Open up! I found your cat! Little bastard tried sneaking into my home this morning. Poor thing looks like he hasn’t eaten in days!” Annie paused as she scratched the cat’s ears, causing the small animal to purr in delight at the welcomed affection. “Mr. Wilson?” Annie opened the door to room thirty-seven. She wandered into the apartment, curiosity getting the better of her. “He probably left for work early today.” She entered the bedroom, a blood curdling scream escaped her lips as she spotted a very deceased Mr. Wilson, his body looked pale and sickly.

“So, Levi,” The short ravenette looked towards his superior with a questioning gaze. “What do you think happened?” The blonde haired, blue eye male asked his captain.

“Well, Mr. Smith, I’m not entirely sure. There seems to be no visible signs of foul play, and he was in relatively healthy condition, but we will know more once the coroner takes a look.” Levi spoke as he wrote down a few details about the scene in front of him. 

“Very good, Captain. Let me know what the coroner says as soon as you find out, understood?” 

“Roger. Oh, Petra is having a housewarming party this Saturday. She asked me to invite you.” Levi spoke, his monotone voice always a delight to Erwin Smith’s ears.

“Sounds fun, tell her I’ll be there.” He smiled as he walked out, heading back to the office to await the coroner's report.

“Levi~!” A voice rang out amongst the police crowded room causing Levi to flinch and internally groan.

“Hange, about time you got here, get Mr. Wilson out of here, I need his report ASAP.” Levi spoke, turning to leave before he caught up in another two hour long story about how they dissected a guy to find out he died from some strange disease that hadn’t been discovered, or about what she did for a date night last night.

“Roger, Captain!” Hange spoke happily, making Levi wonder how in the world someone could be so cheery all the damn time. Levi exited the apartment and briskly walked towards his favorite little cafe to grab a hot cup of tea and a biscuit before he made his way to the police station.

“Hey, Captain~!” The voice of his favorite employee rang out the almost empty room. Only a few patrons occupied a few booths along the far wall, all idly chatting away about their day.

“Hello, Eren. The usual, please.” Levi spoke, a small smirk forming on his otherwise neutral face.

“Right away, sir.” Eren smiled, his emerald eyes sparkling as he made the man his black tea. Levi placed the amount owed on the counter and the brunette poured the tea into a freshly cleaned cup. “Another case?” He asked, placing the cup in front of the shorter male.

“Unfortunately.” Was the only word he spoke before taking a sip, eyes closing at the delectable taste dancing around his taste buds. “Well, better be off to the office.” Levi downed the rest of the remaining burning liquid and made his way to the door.

“Will I see you for lunch?” Eren called and Levi turned to see a hopeful glimmer in the young man’s eyes.

“Of course, I can't say no to those eyes.” Levi smiled faintly as the green orbs shone as brightly as Eren’s smile. Levi exited the establishment, smiling to himself. ‘Eren really is something else.’ He thought to himself, accidentally bumping into someone as he strolled down the town streets.

“Oh! Captain! I’m so sorry!” The young, sandy blonde, hazel eyed male apologized. 

“It’s fine, Kirstein.” His voice back to the monotone, face stoic as ever. “There should be a phone and computer heading your way back at the station. Get whatever you can from those and I’ll be by in about three hours for a report.”

“Understood, Sir.” Jean spoke, pushing his thin framed glasses up his nose. “See you later, Sir.” Jean hurried along his way, weaving his way through the crowd that was quickly forming. Levi sat down in his office, folders opened as he looked through Mr. Wilson’s history. 

“Mr. Harold Wilson, age thirty-one, no living relatives, works a mediocre job at a telemarketing company, no spouse or any romantic relationship.” Levi spoke as he read the file aloud, thought quietly, to himself. “Used to play baseball in highschool, fairly good at it until he got a concussion from a ball hitting him in the head, suffered minimal brain damage but ultimately ended his baseball ‘career’. Fairly good grades, not many friends though.” Levi continued to scan the history file when a knock came to his door. “Enter!” He called, not bothering to take his steel grey eyes off the papers in front of him.

“Levi~!” Hange called through the open door, their glasses making the bright eyes all the more bigger through the thick lenses. 

“What, four-eyes?”Levi looked irritatedly at his best friend and coroner. “If it isn’t about the case, I don’t want to hear it.” He said as he looked back at the file.

“Oh, don’t worry! It is about the case.” Hange smiled as they walked closer to the oak desk and stood in front of the captain.

“Well, spit it out! What did you find?”

“That’s the thing, I didn’t find anything.” Hange’s smile turned from happy and bright to confused and slightly wicked. 

“What do you mean you didn’t find anything?” Levi raised an eyebrow while waiting for further explanation.

“There was nothing to examine. All the victims' organs were missing! Every last one of them! There were no incision marks either to indicate that he was cut open, nor were there any puncture wounds to suggest he was drugged. Blood reports came back negative for everything we have in the database.” Hange explained, eyes held a certain curiosity for how this could have happened. “I even looked back at files, ones in the computer and hard copies, there was only one other case of a dead body missing there organs that dated back to the early 1920’s. Even then the case went cold.”

Levi was awestruck, there was no indication of foul play but yet, every last organ inside the deceased male was missing. 

Eren continued his work, making tea and fancy coffees for his less than interesting customers. “Eren! It smells like the coffee is burning!” The owner, Miche, Yelled from his office. 

“How the hell can he smell burning coffee from all the way back there? I’m standing right here and I don’t sme- Shit!” Eren ran over to the coffee overflowing and burning away on the burners. “Connie! You were supposed to be watching the fucking coffee!”

“Dude, I said I was going on my smoke break!” Connie grumbled as he made way back into the shop. He helped Eren clean up the coffee and spray some lavender scented febreeze into the air. 

“Eren!” Eren turned his head towards the front of the mostly empty cafe to spot a familiar blonde haired, blue eyed male smiling excitedly from the front counter.

“Armin!” Eren smiled right back and left Connie to finish up the rest of the pastry decorating. The two chatted for a moment before Jean walked up to the counter. “Aug, what are you doing here, Horseface?” Eren sneered at the tall male who wrapped his arm around the blonde.

“Saying hello to my boyfriend and to tell him that I may be a bit late to dinner tonight.” Jean spat back.

“Late to dinner?” Armin asked, looking up at his lover.

“Yeah,” Jean said as he scratched the back of his neck. “There is a new case and I have to go through the computers and phones of the victim. When the captain came by for the reports, I had nothing to give him. There was nothing on the mans shit, nit even fucking porn. So he wants me to do a deep sweep of everything.” He groaned as Armin rubbed his back soothingly.

“It’s okay, Jean. We can reschedule or-” But the blonde was cut off.

“No! I’ll make it! I’ll just be a little late, that’s all. Commander Erwin won’t  make me stay too late.” He smiled reassuringly at the shorter male. Eren gagged at the public display of affection.

“Get a fucking room you two, don’t do that shit in front of me!”

“Jealous, Eren?” Jean smirked at the brunette’s attempt of hiding the jealousy everyone knew he had.

“In your dreams horsefa- Levi!” Eren smiled brightly as the raven hair captain of Trost Town Police Department entered the cozy cafe. Levi smiled tiredly at the green eyes male as he sat down at a booth to the far corner. “Connie! I’m going on my lunch break!” Eren grabbed a fresh pot and recently cleaned tea cup and made his way to the grey eyes man he had his eyes on.

“Aw, Eren’s in love.” Jean cooed at Eren, who in return, turned, glared and flipped the bird to his best friend’s boyfriend. 

“Stop teasing him, Jean! You can be so mean sometimes! You know that since Mikasa turned him down he has had trouble finding someone he liked.” Armin scolded the taller of the two.

“Sorry baby, I’ll try to be nicer from now on.” 

“Thank you.”

“So, Levi, how is work going?” Eren asked as he poured a cup for the stoic man. Levi looked up at him and smiled.

“Eren, I need your help.”

#attack on titan #attack on titan eren #levi ackerman #connie attack on titan #armin arlert #jean aot #hange zoë #attack on titan erwin #manananggal #myths #legends #death #murder #series