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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Complicated

Shirabu x Reader

a/n: im not very familiar with shirabu on a spiritual level like i am w the other characters but ill try my best!!

request: okok haikyuu hcs: shirabu is reader’s childhood best friend and messed up their last game in middle school because he changed his setting style to accommodate ushijima,,, and reader, as the manager is very very pissed and they get into a huge fight,,, so once they get to stz they’re academic rivals, reader became the vbc manager just to spite him (oh yea they definitely still have crushes on each other but it’s hard with the current situation) only if it’s ok!! not a lot of ppl write for him :

this is kinda the best friends-to-rivals-to-friends again-to-lovers

requests open!!

lets get our inhalers bc this finna be a wild one luvs

so, basically,

you and him were actually childhood friends since he lived next door to you

lets say you met when you were 5 and you just stuck on to this slightly cold and dismissive boy who was the shy type

idk bout you but i actually like that type

ppl dont really understand how yall got along bc you were the extrovert and the laughing type of girl

he only stuck around bc you were actually a smart person who helped him occassionally w your organized notes

but he still appreciates your time and efforts to be his friend despite his personality

plus, you also liked volleyball and together you both would watch volleyball matches in his house where you would see him with a smile that he unconsciously wears

like when yall were 8, you gave him a volleyball for his birthday since he lost his old one when he was playing by the river

at first, he was like, ‘oh, thanks, i needed this’

but then as he started tossing it up and down, you could see that bashful smile starting to surface

you shrieked,

bc you rarely see it and you think its super cute,

and just wrap him up in a hug and he turns all shy again but with a soft smile and a soft blush

‘thanks, n/n-chan’

uh oh, feelings

stinky

since he mainly focused on doing homework or studying, not a whole lot of kids really approached him to hang out since they thought he only lived to study and play volleyball

but you didnt care bc youve been friends w this bun for a long time and you know hes not really like that

he has fun moments too

since you were the manager of the volleyball team, you always try to showcase how fun he was by trying to take the team to bonding places

the team does think that shirabu has fun but only if its w you

anyways

one afternoon, you naturally just go to his house w him since your mothers know youre practically best friends and so you basically live in each others houses

yall were about halfway through middle school so shirabu has been studying more to get scholarships for schools

he was studying on the little table while leaning against his bed while you were just lounging on his bed after studying

‘ken-channnnn’

oikawa 2.0

‘hm’

you pouted at the distracted reply before sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind him and placing your chin on his shoulder

‘lets do something fun!!!! im boredddd’

he wasnt really fazed by the skinship bc youve been like that to him since day 1

but thats going to change soon

‘i have a new sudoku book over there that you could do’

omg what

‘ken-chan!’

you shrieked in betrayal before leaping off the bed and grabbing his arm to stand him up

shirabu was actually annoyed that you were distracting his studying but seeing a wide grin on your face made him double stop

am i,,,, catching feelings?

nah, he just going through puberty

‘lets go to the fall market! yuki-chan told me theres a new food place that opened and theyre handing out free samples!’

you excitedly told him and continued shaking his arm to persuade him in going

‘n/n-chan, this is my only free day from volleyball to study. i need to pass the test on friday’

you rolled your eyes at that lame excuse

‘i know. i set up the schedule differently bc you have a big test on friday! but you would still have time to study!’

‘but im still unfamilair with the topic-’

‘cmon, ken-chan! youre so smart you could rival buddha!’

‘i dont think,,,,, thats a right comparison’

‘either way, we’re going to hang out and have fun!’

he honestly didnt know why he was at this crowded market w you

shirabu is a whole simp

‘omg ken-chan! look! takoyaki!’

you dragged him to the stall and the nice old lady smiled before taking your order

‘1 box please. ken-chan, you want?’

he shook his head no and started taking out his wallet to pay

but you stopped him

‘no, you dont have to pay since youre not eating’

‘but i want to’

‘ken-chan! you need to save up for college!’

‘no its fine im pay-’

‘here ya go, dear. free of charge’

you both stopped at the nice lady’s sentence

‘b-but’

‘no it’s okay. its cute to find a boy who’s willing to pay for his girl since that doesnt really happen nowadays. i hope you have a great rest of your date!’

‘it’s not a da-’

‘thank you, maam’

shirabu takes the box and leads you out of there

you smirk and poke his tummy

‘you want to go on a date with me, ken-chan~?’

he turns red and looks away

‘no. it wouldve taken longer to fully explain the situation so just go along with it to make it faster’

you giggled

‘hm sounds fake but okay’

you both continue to walk around the market and even buy a few things like a mini buddha statue or a pair of cat ears for both of you

with everything you bought, shirabu payed with it all

you were pouting as you walked and he noticed so he nudged you with his elbow

‘oi, what’s wrong?’

you crossed your arms

‘hm.. i dont like that ken-chan is buying and spending money for me on things that symbolize our fun. i want to give ken-chan something to remember this day too!’

shirabu grows flustered but hes really confused

youve always been a thoughtful person who tries to be independent but unconsciously ends up depending on others like him

but your thoughts of wanting to do something in return for him just sounds like heaven right now

lmao what a simp

he looks around for a place that could have something that sparked his interest but nothing caught his eye

until he caught a photo booth by the corner

‘oi, n/n-chan, let’s go there’

you followed his finger and you gasped

‘thats perfect, ken-chan! let’s go!’

you drag him to the booth and you giddily enter the coins for the machine to start

but he was starting to think this wasnt a good idea

he was in a cramp space with you pressed against him

but youve always been glomped to his side since yall were kids so what was the difference now?

bc you catching feelings, fool!

‘ken-chan! its starting!’

he finally snaps out of his flustered state and he raises a peace sign with a smile

with all the pictures, there were funny pictures of you and him,

well mainly you

but he was happy to have them w you

‘ken-chan, you know i love you, but when will you fix your hair?’

he glared at you

‘i like it so its staying that way’

you giggled at his attitude

‘okay, ken-chan. at least it would make you stand out in the crowd so i dont have to look for you!’

you hugged his waist and he froze up, suddenly feeling awkward with this familiar position

its okay, shes naturally like this so calm down

dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry

after your hang out, he didnt even bother going back to studying

he just laid on his bed, looking at the strip of pictures with a fond smile

he was happy that you only showed that true, bright, happy grin to him

it was only for him

and he only showed his to you

bc you were you and you were the greatest thing, next to his parents, that he has in his life

omg that thought

he freezes and the picture falls on his face at that realization

omg, does he like you?

youre a great friend and his best friend and he wants to be your friend forever

but then, he realizes

youd separate one day and youd have a boyfriend and get married and have a family without him

no, he wasnt going to let that happen

he didnt like that thought

and thus, began his crush for you

and you were the same thing too but you noticed it later than him

oof, when this one girl confessed to him at the back of the school, you cried to him when yall got home

‘when ken-chan has a girlfriend, he wont hang out with me anymore! hes not going to be my friend anymore!’

it took some reassurance from him and more from your mom, when you got home, to realize that you liked your best friend

and thus began the skinny love stage

the whole volley team knew of your pining and tbh, they thought yall were dating but you were just like, nah, we friends

if anyone were to look at you, they would think the same thing

but ofc, yall are insecure hormonal teenagers who think that the other doesnt like them and if they confess, they would be rejected and that would ruin their friendship and they would not be friends anymore and they dont think they could handle that so its better to keep the feelings hidden and remain friends bc if theyre happy, theyre happy

oml my entire love life

this continued on until the last year of middle school

bc not only do you suddenly stop being friends, you became rivals

so as volleyball manager, you helped the team with whatever they needed in return of them doing their absolute best and winning the game

the last game of the year, you were slightly confused at the way shirabu was playing bc it wasnt the normal way he sets

before, his sets were so good that he could give it to any player and they would spike perfectly

but now, it was so different due to the simple, almost lazy, and very high tosses

the team was slightly irritated bc they couldnt keep up with the high tosses so they couldnt hit it

in between the sets, during break, you pulled him aside as you wiped off his sweat

‘ken-chan, youre not setting properly to the others. theyre getting angry because it doesnt allow them to spike right.’

he glares at you, with almost manic eyes

‘its their fault for not being able to jump high enough. in order to get a point, the ace must get a high toss to aim a quick spike’

‘but theyre not able to jump that high, ken-chan!’

you whispered, worried that he was going too intense and they would lose the game

all the hard-work the others put in, all to waste

‘i dont care. i must start early and change early so ushijima could hit my sets in the future’

‘but they’re not ushijima, kenjiro!’

you whisper-yelled

‘right now, theres no ushijima, no oikawa, its just you and the team. your team’

he was shook that you used his first name and the way you were actually telling him off

youve never been like that before

but he was blinded by his goal in the future

‘why is he our ace if he couldnt even hit tosses meant for an ace?’

‘because hes not the ace you’re hoping him to be!’

‘kenjiro, listen to me, these boys have worked their asses off for years to even come close to playing against seijoh or shiratorizawa. im going to do everything i can to make that happen and im not going to let them lose just bc you are too busy focusing on the future rather than the present’

with the way he looked at you, you really thought he would listen to you and play the way his team needs him to play

but no, he played the way he thought ushijima needed him to play

in the end, due to the foreign and unfamiliar tosses, they were unable to hit as much points causing them to lose

you could never forget the looks on your fellow classmates, who were also going to graduate this year, as they watched the ball that shirabu tossed, hit the floor right next to them

to say you were pissed was an understatement

you were F U R I O U S ™

you held the hands of the first years as they were devastated at their first loss

but you caught the eye of your ‘friend’ and he was biting his lip in irritation and anger

as your team was walking to their locker room to get changed, you pulled shirabu aside

‘what the hell’

he stared at you

‘we lost. we lost bc they couldnt keep up’

‘kenjiro! are you not listening to yourself?! you lost because you couldnt accept the fact that your teammates arent ushijima wakatoshi! you couldnt accept the fact that they’re not tall enough! strong enough! ace-like enough! and for what?! for the future?! the future where you’re going to set for someone like ushijima?!’

‘i vowed to set for a player like him, y/n! i want to toss a ball to someone as powerful and as talented as him! thats a promise i intend to keep’

you were dumbfounded

he was acting on his own reasons and selfish intent, even costing them a game, for his preparation in the future

‘i cannot believe you right now. i didnt know you were so selfish, shirabu. of all the years i knew you, you were never like this. so what changed?’

at the almost betrayed look on your face hurt him bc weren’t you always there to help him? to support him? wasnt that the reason you became a manager in the first place?

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to change the way i play now because it will greatly benefit me in the future’

honestly, you didnt even know why you were so angry about this

sure, it was volleyball and it was just a game

you had high school to win it again

but maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t being the shirabu you knew

the ken-chan you grew up with and harbored feelings for for years

he was turning to someone that worked not for himself, but for some guy he has never even spoken to

you blinked away the tears and looked off the side, away from his face

‘right. the future. yanno, if youre already like this, i dread to think about how you would act once you get that goal of yours. but i know one thing. im not going to be there to see it happen’

god that last sentence

he felt a piece of his world crumble bc were you saying goodbye? were you leaving him?

‘i cant see you torture yourself into changing into a new person, kenjiro. so good luck finding someone who can’

‘oh yea? well, i dont need you! i’ll be perfectly fine on my own and find someone better than you! youre easily replacable!’

that was a big booboo love

that fight costed him more than a decade of friendship and a few years of love

despite living so closely together, you refused to even acknowledge him and when your parents got together, you’d find some way to be out ofthe house or you’d lock yourself in your room

he tried many times to get to you and even cried to you, begging to not leave him

but you willed strong and you left him alone

omg she handled this so bad and i cant w puberting teenagers

eventually, he got tired of chasing you and was now angry at you for picking a team of people youve only met for a few years over him who’s been there for you since you were 5

he was betrayed, cold, and sad

however,

without each other to be there, you both studied even harder and eventually, you were both able to get into shiratorizawa

initially, you wanted nothing to do w that school since you knew kenjiro was going to be in it and that bastard ushijima wakatoshi was too

um,,, babygurl ushi did nothing to you

but your mother really wanted you to go to a nice school since she wanted you to go to a nice college

since yall werent friends anymore, he didnt know you wouldn’t be in shiratorizawa

so imagine his surprise when he saw you entering his class with the girls uniform on and a completely new hairstyle and hair color and were you wearing makeup?!

lmao she acting like they broke up

anyways, all he knows, is that boys were already looking at you and vying for attention and dear god, he didnt know how to handle that

for the first month of school, youd think you would just be ignoring each other like you did back in middle school

but nope!

somehow, yall were now talking again!

except it was a mean type of talking

you see, shirabu studied as much as he breathed and you were just a naturally smart sister who didnt study as much

but you still were able to make it to the top and currently, you were the 1st in your entire class

‘ara ara? 1st again? better luck next time, shirabu-kun~’

he glared at you from his seat as you passed by with a smug grin

this fueding is giving me vertigo

‘shut up. at least some of us work for our grades’

that was so weak lmao

but you turned around to blink your eyelashes, slightly mocking him

‘eh? are you saying that i’m naturally gifted? yanno, shirabu-kun, naturally gifted people are much better than those who have to work for it. you play with ushijima-senpai, right? so you’d know the difference between you two.’

bringing up ushijima always pained him but he kept repeating it to himself that he was doing it so that he could go to nationals

sensing his silence as defeat, you waved your hand and went back to conversing w your other friends

this continued on again for a while and he was already sick and tired of it

not only was it beginning to get annoying, it was beginning to hurt

he cornered you at your locker

aaaaa kabedon!!!!!!!

‘listen to me and listen well, y/n’

yessir im listening

‘whatever the hell youre doing, cut it out. youre not going to rile me up anymore and im not going to give you the reactions you want. i dont understand why youre doing this to me but you need to stop before i make you’

ohgodyessir

ngl, that tone of his voice was the lowest youve heard and it made you so red bc that was just hot

but you gulped before grinning wolfishly, hand pressed against his chest and the other snaking around his neck

you pulled him down to your level so you could lean close to his ear

‘now you listen to me and listen well, ken-chan, youre not my best friend anymore so you can no longer tell me what to do, kay?’

shirabu was just flustered at the close proximity between your lips and his ears that he completely missed your warning

he only snapped out of it when you walked away, heading towards your next class

you sat in class that day, wondering how to tease him more

clearly, just words wouldnt make him irritated

gurl why you doing this

and you were stumped until you saw a red-haired looking guy accompanied by a gray-haired looking guy coming up to you

ofc you recognized them from the volley team since you’ve,,,,,,maybe seen a few practices

you thought theyd just pass by but they stopped in front of you and you looked up w wide eyes

‘can,,,, i help you?’

‘wow shes cute!’

the red head shouted and you shrunk under the gazes of these tall men

‘sorry about him. im semi eita, second year’

you shook his hand and you introduced yourself before soon finding out this other guy was tendo satori

‘so what do you need me for?’

‘you see, we’re kinda in need of a manager. and i think its better to have a manager who is close to a player in the team. i apologize to say this but i saw you and shirabu-san by the lockers the other day and i think its best to have his girlfriend as our manager’

‘g-girlfriend?!’

you shrieked, shocked that they thought you were

at this mention, you got a flashback from the festival and you soon turned bright red at the label of you being kenjiro’s girlfriend

‘and youre so cute y/n-chan! i can see what our darling kouhai sees in you!’

‘no, you got it all wrong its-’

then you stopped

omg this was the perfect opportunity

no gurl stop jesus take the wheel

shirabu would hate it if you were a manager bc that would give you more room to tease him

holy

then you smiled

‘i accept, senpais. i want to see my baby in action after all’

they were ecstatic since it was a hassle to find a manager who wasnt infatuated w ushijima

you exchanged contacts and soon, you were brought to meet the team

oh boy when kenjiro saw you at the door, he dropped the ball on his head

what in the hell were you doing here

‘guys, this is our new manager!’

you peeked out from tendo and waved at them

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, first year. and im glad to be your manager’

noticing shirabu’s shocked form, tendo and semi shared a look and interpreted as, hes so happy that his senpais chose his girlfriend for him so now he could show off and play better and that could hopefully turn his attitude to be more grateful and respectful rather than this dismissive and disrespectful behavior

but shirabu was dying inside

oh god, youre totally going to tease him during practice and hes not going to be at his best and hes not going to be able to prove himself to ushijima

‘oi! shirabu-kun! come be grateful to your senpais for letting your darling girlfriend as our manager!’

‘hey baby!’

omg, what

again, you have a loud and expressive personality so you were kinda shameless so you just ran up and hugged him

aaaaa this is so embarassing wth

‘didnt you miss me? oh, youre so cute!’

god, he knows youre only here to spite him

right on point, good sir

ugh you were practically teasing him as the manager and you were having so much fun making him all flustered

but he was also spiteful

sometimes, he would stick his foot out whenever youd run towards a player and hed laugh at you embarassing yourself in front of them

youd return the favor by accidentally throwing his water bottle at his face

‘oh, gomen, ken-chan’

the entire time, the team was baffled to see the usual stoic and dismissive shirabu so freely laughing and actually teasing you

they think its just for good fun and not the aim of hurting each other since yall are dating and youre just flirting

combined w being academic rivals and now rivals during the team, you both were unintentionally becoming close again

the brutality was slowly simmering to a low heat

and turn the over on at 350 degrees

now, it was just to make each other flustered

the crush that you thought was gone, was slowly digging itself out like the zombies in plants vs zombies

and my god you were annoyed

from now on, you were nothing but rivals and a parasite on his side

him feeling the same

dating would cause too much and the hurtful words would eventually come back up and you concluded that you were just too different

you didnt conclude shit

one time, the team was walking from practice to a nearby convenience store to pick up food

ofc you were picking out a billion foods and you just shoved them all to his arms

‘my darling boyfriend would pay for it because he loves me. ya know what they say, make his pockets hurt’

he glared at you

‘as far as i remember, i wasnt dating a pig’

ngl, that hurt a little bc hes calling you a fattie

but he still went up to pay for it and you intentionally bumped him with your hips to annoy him but it caused him to drop his wallet to fall

and out came his money and that picture

the picture from nearly 3 years ago

you bent down to pick it up before he could even move

god, yall were so happy and young back then

it was awkward silent since you didnt give it back and yall walked out of the store and the team was sensing the weird vibe around you two

‘oi, what happened? its so tense!’

‘did you fight?’

‘did you get caught making out by the aisles?’

‘ong shut up, kai!’

yall kai is a third year senpai that i completely made up since we dont get insight on the senpais before ushijima

but the team noticed the weird aura around you two and decided to walk away to give yall some space

‘can-will you hand it over now?’

shirabu mumbled

you nodded and pushed it in his hands

‘why,,,, why do you still have it?’

‘you gave it to me. of course id still have it’

you were silent before coughing

‘can we talk?’

‘its about time we do’

yall walked away from the team towards your home but were taking weird turns and corners to prolong the walk

you looked up to see him and you laughed

‘this is ridiculous. its not fair’

‘what are you talking about?’

he whispered

‘i was so angry at you for saying that you dont need me and that you could easily find someone better because i knew that and i didnt like it. but i was so hurt that it came from your mouth. out of everyone, i would rather die than hear you say that to me. i think thats why ive been like this. i dont know, im being stupid. i was being stupid.’

he stopped walking and clenched his fist while glaring at the ground

‘you told me you were going to leave me. you were telling me that you wouldnt be friends with me anymore. i had to choose between you or volleyball and i wasnt at the right state of mind at that time so i chose incorrectly’

you noticed him not beside you anymore so you went behind him to rest your forehead on his back so he would see you since he preferred to be honest while not looking at you

‘ken-chan, we messed up big time, didnt we?’

his body shook as he laughed

‘i guess we did’

‘it was only over a game. i was so mean and dramatic and ive called you names and said bad stuff about you and im sorry’

‘im not innocent either. i said those words to you and im sorry’

despite slightly making up now, you both knew those feelings would have to wait because you were only getting each other back

‘can we start over, ken-chan?’

‘you want to?’

‘yes’

‘then we will’

omg the whiplash this is giving me

so yall are finally becoming friends and your families are relieved yall made up again bc wowza those dinners were torturous

‘now that they made up, we can go back to planning their wedding’

‘MOM NO!’

slowly but surely, everything has been going steady and your friendship was getting better

but you didnt admit to the club about everything bc again, shirabu was like, ‘i dont feel like explaining everything’

you both still kept a rivalry but it was friendly this time with cute wagers like treat me to milk bread or banana milk

tOOrU oIKaWA’s fAvoRiTE fOod iS MiLK bREaD

he came over often and studied w you and yall would end up actually just watching a movie or watching brain games, unconsciously cuddled up on the couch

however,

this new closeness was doing damage to your heart bc you were again reminded of how much you liked this boy

initially, you thought it would just go away and never be seen again but it said

sIKe biH!

every time you saw him, youd unconsciously sweep away a stray hair and fix it to his weird crooked style

but whenever you do that, shirabu would get a close view of your face and omg you were freaking beautiful

and thats saying something from a guy who saw you through your awkward phase

hes unconsciously touching you more and showing more affection, even more than when yall were young

just being w you was emotionally exhausting as he holds himself back from doing drastic things but he was over it

he was done with all the years of pining for you so finally found the balls to do something about it

you were over at his place to study for exams and he was coming back up with juice

you were slumped over your calculus textbook with your hair in a bun and glasses on wearing his clothes

god theyre practically dating already

‘ken-chan, come help me with this’

he nods and goes to sit behind you

with his tall height, he was able to look over your shoulder and place his chin on it and tbh, you were so frustrated w the problem you didnt care about the closeness

‘you misplaced a decimal so everything got all wrong’

he mumbled

you gasped and made a noise of agreement before changing your answer

he didnt move though, instead wrapping his arms around yourwaist

‘oi, n/n’

‘hm’

this is a familiar scene

‘wanna go to the market tomorrow?’

at the mention of the market you stopped and leaned back

oh god your heart leapt at the feeling of his chest behind you but you composed quickly

‘should we?’

you turned to gauge his reaction at your closeness but he gently smiled

‘yea’

‘okay’

you havent been back to the market together since that day and it was so nostalgic as you both did the things you did back then

from the takoyaki to the stalls

it was so fun

but your heart was beating so fast

his smiling face and thoroughly enjoyed face was doing palpations in your heart

you looked away to stop staring at him and found the photo booth

‘look, ken-chan! the photo booth!’

he chuckled at the thought

‘should we go get another one?’

‘yes! come on!’

you quickly inserted the money and shirabu had flashbacks

but this time it was going to be different

‘okay lets start!’

the first picture, it was a peace sign

the second one was a wacky one

but the next one, was different

‘oi y/n’

‘what?’

the shutter went off just in time of him kissing you

the bright light caused you to close your eyes and you soon forgot what was happening

all you knew you were kissing ken-chan

your best friend

turned enemy

turned friend again

and now,,, were you lovers?

this rollercoaster is quite loopy

he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours

‘im sorry if-’

‘no balls, do it again’

and this time you lunged back for another

and again, this time, not only did you give him another photo, but you also gave him your heart

la fin.

yall what did i just write

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #shirabu #shirabu fluff #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou #shirabu kenjiro fluff #shirabu imagines #shirabu kenjiro imagines #shiratorizawa x reader #shiratorizawa imagines

313 notes · View notes

rurifangirl · 3 years

Note

imma send in asks w different oc series aight💃💃💃💃

also have babei cat for the soul💅

may we learn more bout how avril's and quinn's world works to heal the earth👁

AND BONE. what's up w them. will they get a post oorrr👁

how did quinn and avril meet. do they have any remarkable moments from their relationship💃

what's bones relationship w em

do they have an antagonist👁 its for reaserch purposes

what music gandra do ya think they'd listen to

how would they type? would they use emojis, uwu, etc

OH IT'S A LONG BOY

At least the first one, tho i can see Bones ask so 😭

ALSO HERA BB BEFORE I CONTINUE🤍🤍🤍

may we learn more bout how avril's and quinn's world works to heal the earth👁

OKAY SO

First things first, despite of where Rui n the gang come from world, this Is really more advanced, thecnologicaly speaking. And it Is from the future, as theirs Is far more "raw", for a lack of better word.

The world is divided between layers, and all of them do have their perks. For example, the highest one is the more advanced, and has its supremacy on every other floors. The lowest one Is usally the roughest one, being the most poor and not having much resources. Let's say Quinn and Avril are in one of its top ones, even if Quinn spoiler did come from a much lower place. There also are floors purely for civils, and others for training, so on and so fourth.

As you mightve guessed on what i did with Avril and you'll see w Bone, it's not purely too human either. Sure, most of them are or at least are humanoid, but there are so called monsters, especially from the lowest floors.

I'm not fully sure about how many species I'll introduce, since even the world building is kinda work in progress, but I plan for at least 10. Even if that's the minimum.

Another thing, humans do not however have magic, and in this fantasy world it's important, mainly to defend yourself.

So, there are blacksmiths specialized in creating weapons with the usage of It, either coming from deceased corpses who do not need It anymore or even using their own. In fact, Quinn does have some of them. Avril doesn't need It, since he Is part demon , and rather uses normal weapons and puts upon them her own magic.

Idk if i gotta add some other things, n since this Is in fact pretty long I'll leave this here. If ya have more questions on this, feel free to ask.

AND BONE. what's up w them. will they get a post oorrr👁

OH YES YES THEY WILL, I JUST HAVE TO WORK ON THEIR DESIGN AND I'LL LET YA KNOW MORE.

For now, all ya gotta know Is that they're the ghost guy, not sure either about a personality, but probably will go for something sneaky. Their cause of death will be desplayed in their final design so👁️

how did quinn and avril meet. do they have any remarkable moments from their relationship💃

They met when Avril got assigned to work in Quinn's department, and as such Quinn just introduced themselves, and from that the relationship moves on.

For It to progress, Avril will invite them to hang out, have some little book dates, and generally getting closer even during missions. One thing remarkable is Avril's reveal.

Let's say,, Quinn doesn't have much of a good time w demons so, even if that fucked for a bit, enstaured a lot more trust between them. In fact, after that, they do get a lot closer than ever, and actually getting officially in a relationship months later.

what's bones relationship w em

Bones really likes Quinn, so that for sure. They both usually hang out, far more than with Avril due to his behaviour on staying alone for long periods of time.

For Avril,, it's complicated, but they do recognize her worth, even if they don't show it.

do they have an antagonist👁 its for reaserch purposes

AHHHH THEY WILL HAVE YES!! I JUST NEED TO FINISH BONE AND THEIR CHARACTERS WILL BE INTRODUCED

And,, i have the feeling one of them will give ya the gay gay homosexual gay 👁️👁️ not spolin anythinnn

what music gandra do ya think they'd listen to

Quinn doesn't really care about following a special genre, so anything goes amazing for them.

Avril is more into a metalhead/rock category tbh, but even then, likes other genres too.

Bone,, listens to daycores. Of everything. Don't call them edgy i do the same shit 🤡

how would they type? would they use emojis, uwu, etc

WHDKLAKSJDJD QUINN WOULD USE OWO BUT COMPLETELY IRONICALLY

Other than that they'd use things like "^^ / <3"

Avril does use the "😎" emoji ironically w Quinn. Otherwise he doesn't use much other.

Bone has capslock always up if that helps

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady @nadi-117 @audre-falrose @infra-jaded

#this rly helped thank you <3 #but i kinda wanna know what youd ask angel n the other draja bitches👁️#ruruslore #rurusocs #oc #ocs #avril seals #quinn wolfe #bone #my ocs rambles

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Are you normal or do u sometimes go "IVE BEEN SCARED OF SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHTS ON(off? Idk its hard to decipher)"/lyrics -curious anon

me: oh boy, can't wait to try and make a tumblr blog! Before i do i should research it- *what in the hecking heck is an xkit*

djskdjsk i had no idea what an xkit was until yesterday and when i got it i got too confused and uninstalled it - dw curious anon i don’t use it either i just vibe and do whatever i guess. if you tag correctly and make good posts things should work out, can’t wait to see your acc around!

I got some sad-ist merch :DDD!!

yooo!! that’s so pog for you! it’s probably pretty comfy :D

me standing ominously in your askbox waiting to rec my fav fics:

fjsjdjsk i literally just finished passerine i still have 80 more (some of which are like 300k words long) on my to-read but uh if they have c!dream mischaracterized i’ll not be reading them anyways so it’s very hit-or-miss, will probably get through some of them quicker-

After many moons spent under the dsmp, seeing discourse and analysis alike, i have come to the conclusion i simply do not have the energy to care about any lore outside of c!tubbo and c!tommy's and will only defend them. And that is ok. It is ok to not watch or care about all dsmp or want to discourse about them or analyze. Idk man was thinking deep thoughts today

it’s ok to watch entertainment and enjoy it the way you want to! it’s great to want to enjoy or talk about your fav character!

the problems come up when you attack other people for their perspectives on the medium or spread misinformation about different characters based on only watching the perspective you like, but you know - if you’re not doing analysis, you really don’t need to look that deep into it.

it’s ok to just chill. your feelings about characters are valid! :D so yeah i agree with you! let people with different opinions exist if they’re also being respectful (e. g. tagging correctly).

Hey ik u worked with animgician's newest vid and i found a not-crit (i rlly think) little thought on it if u wanna see it

yoo feel free to send it in!!

No one: me: *shuffles around* wanna hear about my cool warden c!tommy au?

may i interest u in a little bit of my writing? If not that is ok i just wanna see if my writing is any good before working on a fic lol

Anyways if i am not in the askbox for a little it is because i am now writing a proper fic thing out. Wish me luck o7 -curious anon (i have three different lyrics i am going to be incorporating and a little analysis and just a smidgen of projection)

Ruby do u wanna read a little something i wrote? *does the little fingers thing* its really short just a headcanon with a little prose

i sure do! that sounds rlly cool - are you sure you don't wanna make a post about that on your own account though? i don't mind seeing it at all but i think the c!tommy tag would be able to appreciate that au better than my followers. you've gotta find the right target audience, y'know? /lh

though of course i'd love to see your writing, i'm sure it's great! looking forward to it :]

Ayo i remembered u talking about how punitive punishment doesn't work the other day so i want to discuss. What would u consider to be a fitting "punishment" for c!dream's canonic killing of mexican dream?/gen

i mean... we're not trying to - being against punitive justice is about the fact punishment is wrong, not just certain types of it. asking me what a "fitting punishment" would be is sort of very not getting the point.

hurting people further is not going to teach them anything and it’s not going to help anyone, why is it necessary?

so the answer is: none. he shouldn’t be punished, actually! he should learn on his own that what he did wasn’t right, and that’s about it. that’s the thing about transformative justice. him becoming a better person who Wouldn’t Do That again because it goes against who he is.

however, there’s also restorative justice, which is working to “make it up” to the victims. to which i propose; dream has the revival book and could literally bring him back once he is out of the prison. give him some powder maybe. md would probably be chill w/ that.

Yknow. In all my time in dsmpblr i can confidently say that the main differnece between c!dream apologist/enthusiants and c!wilbur/sam ones is that the c!wilbur/c!sam ones want their fav to have a breakdown and c!dream ones want theirs to get positive reinforcement /hj /lh

i’m pretty sure the sam and wil ones also want them to get better/get redeemed, at least deep down, but i get what you mean! you’re *glances at the 🟩⛏ gc where all we do 24/7 is write angst about c!dream being terribly hurt and then we cry about it* 100% correct. no angsters who like the pain here *nervously laughs* we all just want him to heal and be happy for the rest of his life with no heart-shattering breakdowns whatsoever! /s /lh

Hope ur having a great day m8 :]] -curious anon (also i have a new canon fact i wanna share. In quackity's alt lore stream yesterday he said (to the best of my memory) that "no law/juridsiction exists on the dream smp to prevent one from building anywhere" so i guess that clears up the big debate on wheather or not c!dream had a right to enforce rules (or basically the arguement that he owned the server by divine rule)

no i’m - i’m pretty sure that’s just how it works. dream still owns the smp, but he himself has said wayy back at the beginning “everyone can build and go wherever they want” and that was that. it was one of his rules on the smp, it was his main problem with l’manberg. being able to build anywhere were the rules that he “had the right” to enforce. and he did, not because he was a god, but because it was his smp, his home that he claimed for his friends. wouldn’t call it a big debate, it’s really that simple.

.AGONY. HURT EVEN. THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR CURIOUS ANON. I LAUGH, I CRY, I FIND AN ANIMATED GIF ON TWITTER THAT SQUEEZES MY C!TOMMY ENJOYER HEART INTO OBLIVION. (i am being dramatic btw for the funnies just so ya know) I AM NOT GOING TO FINANICALLY RECOVER FROM THIS. AAAAAAAAAAA UEEEEEEE

OK THAT FREAKING

O U C H-

also for the old phil ask. Hes a bad dad because of how he treated ghostbur. I will elaborate if u want

didn’t ghostbur just say “i’m not wilbur” and philza said “you’re not my son” and they went on with their day? weren’t they actually in agreement that he wasn’t the same as wil when he was alive? i don’t remember him really treating him badly tbh other than disowning him which seems fair to me, because ghostbur was a literal stranger to phil at that point?

wish you a nice day, curious anon! (i’ll be back on my essays and answering other asks now, so i might not reply right away :])

#my asks #curious anon #long post

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Mattie & Lulu & Dolly (mostly)

PlanityPlan: Okay, so we wanna get down what Mattie, Lulu and Dolly are like, that’s the main point

PlanityPlan: but then we wanna pinpoint the time of this reunion for their storyline together, so we can then say what Jay is up to, Beckett not really ‘cos he’s a child but we could also say what we wanna do with you eventually here because we are planning to use him but yes, kind of unrelated but not

PlanityPlan: So it’s like, individual story, what they’re like, the lives they’re living, and then the storyline we’ll do with them together

PlanityPlan: OKAY so Mattie doing an accelerated 2-year Maths and Computer Science degree at Greenwich (57, 58) and then her PGCE which takes a year and in this year you do 2 school placements, 2nd placement at the girl's new school after gay teacher drama in Surval, so this 2nd meeting after first failed attempt at contact, in 59

PlanityPlan: Basically, energy being, making contact before starting Uni and the twins are like nah and then we show up at their new school (accidentally) and the twins relationship has suffered so now we have an in

PlanityPlan: OKAY OKAY so Mattie reaches out Summer 57, she's about to start Uni, the twins are 14 and just finished year 10, 58 teacher stuff to happen and come out year 11, 59 we move to new school year 12, Mattie starts placement too

Junie B Jones: The school I found for the twins is called Surval Montreux in Montreux Switzerland and they’d have been going there from age 12 (and leaving at 19) it’s obviously an international school but there’s a heavy focus on French in lessons as obviously because English is usually a 2nd language, but don’t even worry ladies cos there is only a maximum of 10 girls (cos it’s only gals) in your classes and 60 in the entire school

Junie B Jones: worth noting the finishing school bit from 17-19 cos your mother would love that for you and you can share a room no problem as it’s usually 2 or 3 anyways

PlanityPlan: So, do we be evil and say they have to share with another poor gal?

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we could run with that

Junie B Jones: that poor girl requesting a transfer cos they are so odd hahaha but yeah I say there’s potential there even if it was only for a while like maybe it’s lowkey a version of how they put me and Trace in separate classes cos the teachers are like UM

PlanityPlan: I see that, forcing you to stay involved, ‘cos with 60 people you’d have to be all up in each other’s business, like you’re for sure meant to see the teachers as friends/fam too

Junie B Jones: the website was very culty and that energy

PlanityPlan: which brings me to my first idea ‘cos I think it works on many levels beyond being a cliche

PlanityPlan: Okay so, I thought it’d be interesting to have a secret between them ‘cos how hard it’d be to keep

PlanityPlan: and then I thought that it’d be hilarious karma if Dolly had an affair with a female teacher but we actually let it go there

PlanityPlan: ‘cos it’d be a massive scandal even your parents can’t ignore and the girl gives off some gay vibes and it’d be like, a thing they can’t share in if Lulu isn’t gay like we share a boyfriend but we’re not sharing this teacher moment

PlanityPlan: and it’d probably get you both kicked out so we can time it when we want it and Chloe would be fuming about this lesbianism lmao

PlanityPlan: so with the whole culty school like this would be NEWS ‘cos they’re tight with the teachers clearly so it’s like ARE THEY ALL BEING GROOMED lmao

Junie B Jones: Lulu gives off the straightest vibes EVER so I am down & also the vibe that she would love that culty school

PlanityPlan: right so not only have you kept a love affair and gay from me, you’ve also ruined our school moment, it’d really shake them and their weird twin energy to it’s core, which is the fun of it all obvs

Junie B Jones: I see now why you agreed to share a boyfriend hun, also the potential for her to have a gay awakening with the roommate so hitting all those cliches

PlanityPlan: right, I’m not being gross but it’s true that all-girls school girls experiment together, facts, like Lulu probably joined it with it too but it’s like oh you actually like girls for real

PlanityPlan: but if Dolly isn’t just then living her best gay life and is trying to get shit back to how it was, I think it makes it different

Junie B Jones: the tea and also it seems like the kind of school where a teacher would go there, especially if it’s a younger/artsy one like that film Cracks that Imogen Poots was in, soz Nancy but most teachers won’t

PlanityPlan: it’s a cliche with posh schools for a reason, the bond is closer by the fact there’s not 30 kids in a classroom, there’s more opportunity for it to happen because you have actual relationships with all your teachers, whereas in normal schools they barely know your name lol

Junie B Jones: gross but necessary question being how long do you see the relationship spanning in secret before the big reveal

PlanityPlan: it should probably be somewhere between enough that it’s an actual thing that happened and not like, it happened once, like the teacher probably thinks they’re gonna be together if she doesn’t go to jail lol, but not so long that it is like, how’d you not know

PlanityPlan: it’ll be fun to like, play out, see how long we feasibly could

PlanityPlan: and if Lulu finds out before EVERYONE finds out, then she has to decide what to do with this info for a bit too, which would also be good

Junie B Jones: I love that because the twin vibe is very much like oh we can read each other’s minds haha bitch you thought

Junie B Jones: totally can picture Lulu snitching on you ngl gal

PlanityPlan: accidentally fucking yourself over when they kick the lot of yas out, a mood

PlanityPlan: NEW CO-ED SCHOOL IN SURREY, STILL BOARDING

PlanityPlan: maybe Lulu does care more about school in general, but also specifically that school and being one of the girls forever

PlanityPlan: ‘cos then it’s gonna be hard to win her back when you end up in another school, with boys dundundun

Junie B Jones: she very much comes across like that to me, not only because she’s clearly the clingy controlling twin here but I think she clearly likes how small and family like this school is trying to be cos of how chaotic and lacking their home life is, she’s definitely scared of boys & navigating socialising with them without making a tit of herself because of how little dealings she’s had so it’s gonna be a SHOCK

Junie B Jones: dobbing her sister in because 1. You think the teacher will get sacked and it’ll be over 2. You think you can score some points back and stay in the school’s good books

PlanityPlan: It’s honestly sad how much sense it makes, like you really buy all in with the family vibes and then ya twin fucks it all up, rude

Junie B Jones: okay idk how plausible this is but remember in Wild Child aka the greatest film of all time that boy is like the headteacher’s son, what if the boyfriend (Danny Griffin is his IRL name but I’ll give you a french af one in character boy) they share is like the son of someone who works at the school (obvs he doesn’t go there but like he’d have to live nearby and generally loiter) which is part of the reason Lulu picks him cos all the girls would want to but also she could tell him something about this and he’s like UM you have to dob her in

PlanityPlan: I see that, they can’t all be spinsters like this is an enid, they’d have families and stuff, I can vibe it because again, a thing if there’s any male in the vicinity we all lose our minds lol

Junie B Jones: and like obvs that’s why she got with him but there’s potential for an actual relationship to form with this boy on some level if we want

PlanityPlan: Yes, maybe you actually like him, because clearly Dolly doesn’t, have him to yourself hun, but also then you’ll have to move so rude

PlanityPlan: Another reason to be fuming when you were the clingy twin before, role reversal

Junie B Jones: and another reason to not want to leave because I can’t imagine that your parents will move you to another school in Switzerland because it’s tiny and the scandal so literally in a different country

PlanityPlan: yeah, we’d probably move you to the uk like we’re going to be more involved like doubt that lads but you know

Junie B Jones: my thoughts exactly

PlanityPlan: so the question is do we want to do this before Mattie gets in contact or after

PlanityPlan: I’m leaning towards before so then 1. You’ve got a chance of getting in but 2. You can also help or not help them get on better terms, whatever we vibe

Junie B Jones: maybe when she first gets in contact it’s a secret still so we get the best of the both worlds, cos like you’re gonna get stonewalled then hun but when it all pops off you can be there

Junie B Jones: just cos I’m thinking if it’s all happened by the time they’re 16 that’s slightly drama but then again we’ve done worse lol

PlanityPlan: That’s a good idea, it makes the most of it for sure

PlanityPlan: I’m not sure what the age of consent is but that might affect how in deep shit this teacher gets

Junie B Jones: it’d be a way to show how their dynamic and relationship changes from a POV that isn’t just their own

PlanityPlan: for sure and then we can have the outcome be not just down to their new school and their parentals

Junie B Jones: poor Mattie getting way more drama than she expected

Junie B Jones: are you having her go to a UK uni because obviously relevant because this isn’t getting resolved in a summer hol

PlanityPlan: I’m kind of vibing no uni, honestly

PlanityPlan: because a lot of gen 4 do go and it isn’t the only option

Junie B Jones: love that for her tbh

PlanityPlan: So yeah, you’ll be around for sure

Junie B Jones: do you have a job/career in mind yet?

PlanityPlan: not really, like I see you being a bit lost in that sense, which is fine because you’ve got a lot in other respects and you’re looked after, but it’s definitely a vibe of not knowing what you want to do, but not just doing uni ‘cos as most people in that situ do, so you probably have lots of random jobs

Junie B Jones: that’s legit cos loads of people don’t know what they wanna do but don’t have the luxury of taking time to figure it out but she does & lowkey it doesn’t matter if she never does cos like you said she’s fine in a lot of other ways

PlanityPlan: like I won’t let you be insufferable with it and not work and just bum about but you’re just striking me as work-driven, which a lot of characters are again, so I’m not mad

Junie B Jones: I like it

PlanityPlan: So it’s just working out what your actual main motivation is, which I think could be tied into getting in contact with this fam

PlanityPlan: as we’re saying Jay doesn’t really want to, so it’s a difference there

PlanityPlan: and it’ll be good to have it not a total failure if you do make something with the twins but we know you won’t with Chloe so there’s the struggle with that

Junie B Jones: it pleases me because the obvious and cliche thing to do would be to have Jay be the one trying to do this as she actually has memories of and issues with Chlo whereas Mattie is basically Ava’s child

PlanityPlan: and I don’t think it resembles like, Edie’s feelings about Drew and Caleb etc either, it’s not like I NEED you to be my mum because you biologically are

PlanityPlan: it’s just lowkey a curiosity like, people can’t just vanish from our lives like that, like what are they doing, ‘cos you know their main house is still in London too, like it’s just like, why shouldn’t I look into this

Junie B Jones: agreed, it’s not coming from a place of having a deficit, she’s happy and has everything she needs in that sense, so it makes sense for her to only gain from it

PlanityPlan: and it is naive but that is how I vibe her being in a not really annoying way lol, not a jaded character though

PlanityPlan: and it will be shit when Chloe is Chloe but it won’t destroy her or anything it’s just like oh god, what is wrong with her though

Junie B Jones: and that’ll strengthen her relationship with Jay because she doesn’t wanna talk about all of that and you’ll get why in a way that you can’t unless you experience the crazy that is Chloe for yourself

PlanityPlan: exactly, like that can be a source of strain between you when you’re first deciding to do this

PlanityPlan: and you’d give Chloe a few chances ‘cos like I said you aren’t looking for a mum so you’d be trying to lowkey work it out and being empathetic so she’d probably actually love that ‘cos she’s a narcissist so it’d be a bit dicey

PlanityPlan: suddenly wants to tell you every drama in her life like poor me

Junie B Jones: how real

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can think you’re like objective and just putting the mystery together but you’re gonna get dragged in, clearly

PlanityPlan: especially combine this with the twin drama which you do genuinely care about

Junie B Jones: mhmm, Lulu is gonna drag you in gal, not like she can bring these emotions and drama to her new school when it’s a scandal and this is supposed to be a fresh start

PlanityPlan: which is what you were warned about/one of the reasons we left it ‘til you were grown but you’ll have to work this all out, which will be good

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can’t be dealing with your younger sister’s drama instead of living your own life but clearly at a point here we are ‘cos bit lost

Junie B Jones: you’re so clever boo, this is such a good idea that flows

PlanityPlan: heheh, I think it makes sense if you’ve had such a chill upbringing and the twins have not that this chaos can take over your life and drag you in

PlanityPlan: I’d like to think we all get to a healthy place gals but we’ll see tbh

PlanityPlan: as for who Dolly is… I think she never bought into the school as hard, like it’s probably better than home, not that we’d know, but we’re not like omg this is IT

PlanityPlan: same with the boyfriend clearly, none of it is as real but the twin bond is so like may as well until the gay drama comes along

PlanityPlan: but then that’s lowkey over before it’s begun so then we go into overdrive of trying to win her back

Junie B Jones: which Lulu is not having sis

PlanityPlan: like in reality we should accept our truth and start working on separate personalities but we’re like no no

Junie B Jones: potential for how far aka too far she can try and take winning her back, like that creepy book energy

PlanityPlan: deffo, like we’ll have to think of ways but if we’re going all-in on this, there isn’t reason not to

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we don’t care about school or whatever mum and dad are saying or doing

Junie B Jones: not gonna kill you off gal but oh the possibilities for danger cos lbr your grandparents can’t stop you either clearly

PlanityPlan: bless them they’re alright people but obvs a bit useless for all this to happen lmao

Junie B Jones: hence I vibe that Lulu totally walks all over/ has them wrapped around her little finger like Chloe did but more subtly because she has no nuance

PlanityPlan: deffo, oh lads

Junie B Jones: which is a shame when they could literally give you the family energy you want without need for a creepy cult school but hey, you’ve been taught to treat them like that

PlanityPlan: exactly

PlanityPlan: they should’ve lowkey took you in but we’re too posh for that and you’ll probably be fine right lmao

Junie B Jones: at least Dolly can stay with them when her parents are literally hate criming her

PlanityPlan: sad that you won’t ‘cos getting back in that closet so hard like will you forgive me if I’m straight and we’re still the same

Junie B Jones: it’s really sad like this isn’t sustainable huns and shouldn’t have been allowed to be a thing for this long

PlanityPlan: at least Mattie does have fresh enough eyes to be like, respectfully, maybe let’s not do this

Junie B Jones: just like Lulu don’t haze your sister thank you

PlanityPlan: right, I think this gives us energy to go on for all y’all

PlanityPlan: *** so the energy now is she can get more drawn in because she's literally there living at the school too, and after the placement, she's getting a permanent position at the school, so we can actually work through this together and have relationships etc etc

#gen 4 #mattie pemberton howard #dolly blossom farrington stone

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

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janiedean · 4 years

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Hi! I'm the Plato anon for before. First of, thank you so much for your offer, but I think I managed on me own. Second, could you elaborate on the "analysing as YA" vs "analysing as an adult" approach? I assumed that "discourse people" on this website generally don't go beyond "antagonist is bad because they are against the hero!" out of ignorance/lack of interest except to score Internet Fame Points, not that it was due a specific mindest. I also don't really read YA (except Tiffany Aching)

TIFFANY ACHING!! T_T ANON LET ME HUG YOU it’s like the only YA I actually liked in my entire life apart from nick hornby’s one book but that wasn’t typical lmao

THAT SAID, well your discourse people point is pretty much part of it but since I’m here and I can rant have the entire thing I was too tired to hash yesterday ;) so, in order:

first thing, we need to establish that ya books and **adult** books generally have different target audiences which is fine and good because obviously if you want to write a thing you’ll do that for An Audience That You Have In Mind; this doesn’t mean that adults can’t read ya or that teenagers can’t read **adult books** because everyone can read what they want (and personally for one I never cared for ya in my entire life not even when I was the target audience), but it simply means that some books are meant to be liked by one category first and eventual others later and they need to be talked about in that specific context first and everything else later - then there might be books that are aimed for kids/young readers or sold like that or that can be read on more than one level which can be appreciated for different things later in time (for example I read huck finn at sixteen and I absolutely loved it but it was a book that here is seen as good reading material also for eight year olds, and at eight I wouldn’t have liked it for the reasons I did at sixteen, and if I read it now I would still like it, while a bunch of the books for kids I read when I was seven is stuff I enjoyed then but forgot now and probably was good for that age but didn’t stick with me);

second thing, that means that when I discuss a young adult book aimed at teenagers I will never hold it to the standards I would hold a book aimed at a general adult audience, especially if it’s the kind of ya like dunno as stated the vampire diaries aimed at teenage girls which is obviously the kind where you have the fantasy world with the hot dark guy who swoons the high schooler protagonist off her feet etc because that stuff is basic teenage girl fantasy 101 and like... I’ll expect a bunch of romance tropes, the usual push and pull, the guy eventually being into her, the protagonist being someone a fourteen year-old can see herself in, probably a few sexual elements thrown here and there and so on, because that’s the shit marketed at fourteen year-olds who want to read that and like... it’s really not that deep. I can’t ask the vampire diaries to be moby dick because it’s not meant to be. or, if I read percy j/ackson - which is another thing I have zero interest in but I know about because I see tweets from the author - I expect to have a bunch of teens coming into their own coming from different backgrounds because the author wants to represent properly a lot of categories so most of his readers can have someone they can see themselves in and like if a thirteen year-old who suspects being lgbt or whatever sees themselves in the gay kid from per/cy jackson guess what that’s what that book is for, so I won’t judge it on like... being a faithful representation of greek myths or how good the style is or whatever, because even if to me it’s not top notch writing or has a plot idc about it has to be for teenagers and pre-teens, not for me, a thirty year old who again didn’t even like pre-teen aimed literature when she was a pre-teen;

third, I can extra clarify it using the damned hp discourse, as in: when I say I’m tired of people not reading anything else or reading everything like hp, it means that they read it when they were growing up/were teens and it was aimed at them which is fine, but then twenty fucking years later when the people in question are way beyond their twenties (guys I’m almost 32 and I remember when the first one came out come on) when talking about any single piece of media in existence (movies, comics, other books) use hp characters/situations as the terms of paragon - like guys I had to read sn/ape comparisons with theon and ky/lo ren on the basis that THEY’RE GREY CHARACTERS as if sn/ape is the only grey character that ever existed, people keep on talking about vold/emort as the only bad guy that ever existed and so on, and like... you can’t talk about, idk, asoiaf or any book aimed at an adult audience like you’d talk about hp, because at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I read comparisons between sn/ape and ivan karamazov and I think I don’t need to specify how completely nonsensical that would be;

now, with all of this explained, what I mean is: ya in general - which is not a fault per se of the genre since it’s aimed at teens and pre-teens - tends to have... very fixed narrative schemes depending on which teens it’s addressing - like, stuff like tvd or twilight is obviously the romance teenage girl fantasy where you have the girl fighting to be with the dark beautiful supernatural creature in question, per/cy jackson is more like I’ll give you a bunch of relatable characters having cool adventures against bad guys with the occasional redemption so we can see that people are redeemable but you still have right vs wrong, hp is sort of like that in the sense you get relatable-ish protagonist with relatable friends growing up throughout the entire thing and fighting on the good side vs the evil side including the usual death of the mentor plus people who seemed bad actually not being bad™ except that PJ has more povs and better rep from what I gather but that’s not the point so it’s basically the growing up journey for the young protagonist(s) the kid sees themselves in, then there’s stuff like hunger games where you actually have the dystopian worldbuilding just written to be enjoyable by younger people who don’t want to get too depressed (and ngl I haven’t read the books but I’ve seen the first two movies and guys the way everyone ignores the classist commentary in thg to discuss the love triangle is... a staple of the problem tbh) but still try to introduce deeper themes and have more nuanced characters and at the same time are still written to be enjoyed maybe by the more adult side of the target, and at the same time I can’t say that thg is the same as 1984 when it comes to target audience because 1984 doesn’t make the ugly dystopian themes more accessible using the love story/teenage protagonist etc;

at this point the problem is: if you only ever read ya and nothing else in your life (which is what a lot of people here do - guys again when I got here in 2011 if people didn’t discuss hp they discussed john gr/een, the only *adult*-aimed book I see discussed on tumblr is asoiaf... because of got X°DDD) then you end up seeing every other piece of literature expecting what you do out of a young adult and then you expect adult literature out of young adults/ya to approach certain implications the way an adult novel would, which is... frankly ridiculous;

specific examples: I see blogs which are principally about like ya fantasy books ie acotar or shadow/hunters or whatever shitting on grrm because AAAAH HE’S PROBLEMATIC/MISOGYNIST/HE HAS VIOLENCE AND RAPE IN THE BOOKS BLAH BLAH and like... spoilers: if I wrote a fantasy series aimed at fourteen year-olds who want their fantasy romance with the hot dark guy who is maybe a tiny bit problematic but turns their leaf for them I would hold back on blood and violence, if I wrote a fantasy for adults where I want to be realistic about misogyny I will not, and the fact that grrm gets judged on what happens and not how he writes it (and again, saying that a guy who has 1/3rd of his pov characters female except that it’s actually 50/50 because there are no throwaway povs except for mel while guys have a lot more of them and all the female povs have narrative weight [and mel has it before she gets one] and all of them have a different personality and he also has the same trope [brienne and arya] in two people with wildly different personalities and needs which is basically a goddamned miracle is a misogynist because there’s misogyny in his fantasy world is ridiculous imvho) which is.... exactly expecting of asoiaf what you’d expect out of acotar, when grrm and acotar’s writer write for wildly different audiences. now, if I had read acotar at 15 and asoiaf at 15 I’d have had no doubt re asoiaf being more my thing because again the subgenre acotar goes for is not my thing because I never related to that fantasy while brienne is my rep, but in general a 14yo girl who likes the acotar-like stuff will not care for grrm.... which is normal because grrm writes for adults of both genders, not teenage girls (I mean teenage boys also have their own subgenres for which the same rules are valid), and someone who likes percy jackson (aimed at both genders but like... pre-teens early teens) who doesn’t gaf for grrm won’t because it’s not aimed at them unless they like grrm for other reasons ie idk they realize that they relate to jon snow idk but you see my point, so like tldr that’s what I mean with if you only read ya you’ll expect adult writers to handle their themes like ya writers would and like... sorry but if I write stuff for adults I won’t feel the need to specify that the bad guy is B A D with neon lights because an adult should grasp that from the narrative, I don’t need to make sure it’s obvious bc it’s aimed at kids;

reverse: when I see people saying ‘the vampire diaries is problematic because it’s about people who are a hundred years old preying on teenage girls so we need to stop teenage girls from reading that kind of thing because it makes them think it’s okay to go with someone that much older than them’, we’re at the opposite problem in the sense that you’re asking a young adult novel what you would ask of AN ADULT NOVEL when there’s no point in it. like, a teenage girl knows perfectly that damon salvatore doesn’t exist and vampires don’t exist and werewolves don’t exist - the entire point of tvd is that she gets to fawn over the hot supernatural dude who changes for the better thanks to the female protagonist she most likely sees herself in and she gets to have a few nice fantasies about that which is like... normal for people who are developing their sexualities, most people wouldn’t actually want damon salvatore the way he’s exactly in canon irl because they know it’s a fantasy and so it should stay. like, sorry but as someone who watched the show because ian somerhalder is hot in her twenties and tried the first book and gave it up at page 30 because I couldn’t do it, I can 100% assure anyone that the biggest issues with tvd books are that the writing is really fucking bad (for my standards at least), with the tvd show that from S4 the writing spiraled downwards and no one wanted the magical vampire pregnancy witch twins ridiculousness, but none of the content actually was shit that anyone would take seriously like that and I wouldn’t expect tvd to approach that subject realistically. if I read a vampire book aimed at adults who actually wants to write such a relationship as creepy WELL YES OF COURSE I’D EXPECT IT TO BE OBVIOUS ABOUT IT BEING CREEPY, but if it’s aimed at freaking teenagers... it’s a fantasy and not really that deep, take it for what it is and let teenage girls enjoy thinking about smooching damon salvatore (or stefan or whoever) without assuming they need to be protected from Horrible Vampire Fiction™, same as no one goes bitching about unrealistic sex scenes in serialized romance books because people read them because they’re unrealistic and escapism, not because they expect nobel prize worthy exploration of themes from them;

now, ^^^^^^ would not happen if people actually read variedly and studied some decent lit analysis in school - but like, after I had to read I think at some point that of mice and men is ableist... THAT’S the damned point - with ya you can take a lot of the plot at face value, with adult lit you can’t and you have to see motivation beyond the action of the characters and you can’t do that if you only read books aimed at pre-teens/teenagers where obviously that’s... more spelled out than it would be in a book aimed at an adult audience;

that by the way also means wildly missing actual adult themes discussion in ya, because again, I haven’t read thg but from the two movies I’ve seen it’s fucking obvious that the whole thing is an anti us-classism commentary from how the districts are built to how the games are rigged to pretty much everything in the worldbuilding, but all the discourse I see on tumblr is about either the love triangle or katniss being miscast or president snow being a jerk and whatever else, but I never once saw anyone saying ‘heeeeey the people in katniss’ district are an in your face metaphor of poor people in the us of a belonging to certain categories while the first few districts are absolutely the 1% and the entire point of it is that she wants to tell you A CLASSIST SOCIETY IS BAD AND WILL LEAD TO REVOLUTIONS’, which to me was... like, glaring, it was literally what 90% of the entire thing was about and no one ever discusses it in a fandom-wide sense (I mean... I saw a bunch of hg posts back when the movies came out, I never saw this brought out), which... is a problem because it means that the moment people are put in front of a ya product that actually tackles that kind of issue.... they go and worry about the love triangle (which seemed to me the excuse to draw the people in the story) not about the social commentary, and like, maybe a twelve year-old won’t catch on the social commentary, a twenty-year old especially from the us should, and I don’t see that happening;

and sorry but that is because if you only engage with content aimed at a younger audience than your target first you assume that every piece of literature should be consumable/readable/enjoyable by a younger audience (and sorry but no, some of us don’t want to write stuff making sure teenagers like it) and then ask of actual ya media to cater to their *adult* needs and not to the needs of the target audience because wow obviously if you’re 25 you won’t want out of literature what you wanted at fourteen;

and this also is valid for children’s media because again, I’m cutting it short, but adults watching st/even universe and sending people death threats because they don’t agree with their opinion of a cartoon aimed at an audience that’s at moooostttt eight years old is a thing that shouldn’t even fucking exist, and if you think steven/universe is that important at an adult age you need to re-assess your priorities;

tldr: adults should not expect media aimed at kids/teens to cater to their interests and shouldn’t analyze it the way they’d analyze a piece of media aimed at an adult audience and should not presume that every piece of media should have the scope/schemes of medias aimed at kids/teens because some of us don’t want to read that.

now, I’ll leave you with a nice short anecdote which hopefully will further clarify what I mean and add to another point which would be, kids and teens don’t give a fuck about what you, an adult, do: when everyone was in a frenzy about my little pony back in 2013 or so I had to see a ton of posts like ‘AAAAAH MEN/BOYS WHO ARE INTO MLP ARE STEALING THE SHOW FROM YOUNG GIRLS HOW DARE THEY ENJOY IT WE NEED TO KICK THEM OUT’ with added people saying that a ten year old male kid who tried to kill himself bc his friends bullied him bc he liked mlp deserved it and the likes, my only thought was that... when I was 8-10 in elementary school and was actually the target for cartoons and stuff, sailor moon was the rage between all girls my age me included, we’d spend recess playing pretend (and I’d get stuck playing sailor mars bc no one wanted her, sad) and our hugest first world problem in existence was that we needed technically a mamoru and of course no self-respecting boy in elementary school would have admitted under death threats to watching sailor moon because it was a girls’ thing (aaaaah gender roles in the early-mid 90s, how fun) so everyone despaired because ofc no one wanted to play mamoru... and the few times any guy actually showed up like HEEEEY I WANNA DO IT BUT PLEASE DON’T TELL MY FRIENDS I LIKE SAILOR MOON we’d all be like OMG YOU’RE OUR NEW FAVORITE PERSON PLEASE YOUR SECRET IS SAFE because we couldn’t believe we found the magical boy™ who wanted to do it, and if anyone had told us that the kid in question was stealing sailor moon from us we’d have laughed in their face.

like.

kids don’t ask of media what you, an adult do, and it’s unfair of you, an adult, to ask children’s/ya media to cater to your damned interests, which are amply catered to by the tons of adult literature around which also forces you to push on your views and read more challenging things and to not read/watch stuff at face value, which is why I would really appreciate it if the amount of 20yo people on here who I consider adults engaged with more adult media and let themselves be challenged instead of just going back to ya/kids’ things, which are good for teens and kids and can be enjoyed by everyone but should not be the only goddamned genre you measure all other literature against because then you get people saying that lolita is pro-pedo when it’s exactly the goddamned contrary, but if you think that pov character = protagonist = good guy (which is... staple kids/ya stuff for obvious reasons) then you decide that humbert humbert is someone you’re supposed to root for. too bad that you’re not and the author was an actual csa victim so it’s a completely ridiculous reading that wouldn’t happen if you didn’t read lolita the way you read hp.

... okay, I’m done, sorry for how long this was, I hope it cleared things for good xD

#literature for ts #janie rants #idek #Anonymous #ask post #suicide attempt cw

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clarionglass · 5 years

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okay so my youth orchestra is going on a tour and our first stop is in a place called ede, which to my good omens-fuelled brain is only one letter away from eden, so may i present for your delight and delectation: the good omens orchestra au (credit to my good buddy @iremainimmortalinyourmind, who i bounced ideas off, and contributed quite a bit to this, although on a few occasions i’ve discounted her suggestions entirely)

god is the conductor satan is a percussionist, like, possibly the best musician in the orchestra, but he often has Wildly different ideas of the “correct” tempo and will hare off at his own pace, so half the orchestra follows him and half the orchestra follows the conductor (which is why very very roughly, angels are strings and demons are brass) speaking of which hastur and ligur are trombonists beelzebub is principal trumpet, and has a habit of buzzing in just normal conversation bc always gotta keep your lips in shape, ya know metatron is the concertmaster gabriel plays the oboe. he doesn’t get the joke. (in fact, he’s very self-important about his position, he tunes the orchestra and all) michael plays harp i get a french horn vibe off uriel actually sandalphon is the really irritating leader of the second violins of course, you’re all waiting for the boys: aziraphale plays viola, crowley plays clarinet i think viola and clarinet often share lines? i don’t play either tbh, but they’re inner voices, middle voices, which is Symbolic (aziraphale gets so much shit from the rest of the strings for being a violist, poor guy, and he spends all his rests with his nose in a book) adam young plays piccolo for no other reason than so do i and it’s tiny and powerful and it just amuses me pepper plays eupho or tuba because it’s big and people told her she couldn’t when she first started out, she got Real Good out of pure spite i don’t know instruments for all the them yet, but if it’s a youth orchestra like mine, there’s a split between the older ppl and the under 18s, and the them are definitely the under 18s anathema plays cello agnes nutter used to play bassoon then aged out, she’s in a professional orchestra now. she’s anathema’s idk. older cousin or something, but she gave her all the details on what this orchestra is like when it tours, which seem freakishly like predictions lol newt is percussion filler like the triangle death plays double bass and i’m not budging on that for anything. he’s the oldest of the orchestra and he’s always quiet but just. there. that tall skinny kid in the black hoodie, looming--not menacingly, just. looming. madame tracy and shadwell are tour staff, as is mary loquacious, who sends out a million schedule updates every night in the official tour fb group

tours are every three years, all the over 18s save anathema and newt have been on a tour before. on the last tour, a couple of string players (who aged out) caused a bit of a Fuss in the rehearsal space. you’re not allowed to bring food in, see, but crowley snuck an apple in because fuck the system. but eve in the strings could feel her blood sugar dropping, and her stomach was rumbling loud enough to be a pain, so crowley passed her the apple because “you can’t rehearse effectively when you’re hungry, go on, what’s the worst that can happen” turns out the worst that can happen is the conductor catching you and your deskie (and also bf) sharing an apple mid-rehearsal and getting kicked out of that rehearsal, and a stern talking-to in front of the entire rest of the orchestra

there’s plenty i’ve forgotten but i just love this, i’ll probably add more as i think of more

#the joke is #there's a really famous oboe piece called gabriel's oboe #and he's just oblivious #good omens #music things #good omens orchestra au #i'd better make a tag in case i do come back to this #good orchestra #that'll do #clari speaks

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riviae · 5 years

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Regis and/or Dettlaff for the character headcanon meme (ya know, if a hundred others haven't already asked lol)

character meme (accepting!): under a read more due to length

Regis:

favorite thing about them:

besides his obvious kind heart & unflinching loyalty, i love how passionate he is about things!! dude’s been alive for 400+ yrs & he still wants to travel, to make friends, to learn, to teach, to heal, to share his interests & knowledge. he loves life–loves humanity (cdpr can miss me w/ his referencing humans as mosquitoes metaphor nonsense)–& is my favorite example of a good redemption story/character.

least favorite thing about them:

he can be… rather pretentious at times. but to his credit, he never really belittles or alienates anyone in the hansa–it’s more like he has a lot of ‘high-brow’ interests for the time/setting (not counting distilling, of course) & in sharing/explaining them, he goes a bit over the top. i don’t think it’s on purpose, but case in point… not everything has to be a lecture, ya know?

favorite line:

kinda cheating on this, but my favorite scene of anything ever is this one from lady of the lake:

“Well,” sighed Regis. “Have it your way. I’ll have to avoid mirrors and dogs, and will have to beware of sorcerers and telepaths… And if I’m still exposed, I’m counting on you.”“You can count on me,” Geralt said seriously. “I’m not in the habit of leaving a friend in need.”The vampire smiled and because they were alone, he did not hide his fangs. “Friend?”

now specifically from b&w, i like this line from Regis’ journal: People justify bad deeds by good intentions. I’m not sure if there is greater idiocy

brOTP:

geralt/regis (which you’ll also see in the otp section), regis/yen (goth-nerd solidarity & also they both love geralt so jot that down), & regis/angouleme (he’s a wonderful uncle figure to angouleme)

also if regis ever got to meet vesemir i’m 100% sure they’d have gotten along swimminglg

OTP:

geralt/regis–it’s my lifeblood babey

nOTP:

romance-wise, any regis/hansa member that isn’t geralt is just not my cup of tea as well as regis/dett****

random headcanon

after his second regeneration, he became wearier around unknown sorcerers/sorceresses/magic users (w/ the exception of yen). at one point, geralt had decided to light a candle near regis using igni w/o really thinking abt it & noticed that regis had visibly flinched. geralt apologized immediately & now lets regis know when he’s abt to light something using magic (’normal’ fires, those not started by magic, don’t bother him. so it’s less of an aversion to fire & more of an aversion to fire made thru magic).

unpopular opinion:

i don’t really like his sideburns or hairline–not bc i think the design is bad per se (i think it solidified his intro in b&w as a more scholarly character), but bc i think it ages him much more than necessary. when the other 2 higher vampires (dettlaff, orianna, hell–even the unseen elder), look much younger, then it just seems unusual imo. a middle-aged tax collector w/ a crooked nose is how sapkowski describes him & idk, i think cdpr just wanted to give regis a more stereotypical scholarly look instead of using descriptions from the books.

song i associate with them:

when i’m in an angst™ mood, this song is what makes me think of regis (& higher vampires in the witcher series in general). it’s called far from home (the raven) by sam tinnesz

favorite picture of them (i’m too lazy to do this but assume every picture of regis is my fave)

Dettlaff:

favorite thing about them

his hobbies! woodworking & building toys for kids is nice™; cdpr should’ve at least given us a tiny scene of him tinkering on stuff. presumably he has a caring nature given that he nursed regis back to health but once again, cdpr couldn’t be bothered to flesh out the interesting aspects of his character & instead gave us an albeit cool but ultimately unnecessary boss battle :/

least favorite thing about them

oof, his lack of patience & propensity towards violence. well, perhaps propensity is the wrong word; i mean that in a character who is powerful/deadly (in which even a brief lapse in judgement could mean death for another), a hair trigger temper is... not going to endear me to them. for instance, i don’t think that dettlaff went to tesham mutna with the intent of killing syanna--i don’t think he knew himself what he would do upon seeing her. BUT, he still did it--& i’m sorry but killing an unarmed/defenseless (presumably unarmed, but even if she were armed it wouldn’t change the fact that she was defenseless against him & dettlaff knew that) woman in a fit of rage (who yes, wronged dettlaff greatly) speaks of a deeper problem relating to his inability to process his emotions.

i originally thought that cdpr was going to do some cool parallels between dettlaff and geralt bc both have issues w/ emotion but in different ways (i.e., dettlaff has difficulty controlling his while geralt has trouble expressing them), but they shared maybe a handful of sentences w/ each other before the conclusion of the dlc so yeah D:

favorite line:

“If you acknowledge any gods... start praying, now.”

brOTP:

regis/dettlaff is pretty much it/the only relationship i find interesting in b&w for dett anyway

OTP:

dettlaff/character development

nOTP:

mentioned in regis’ list above, but i also am not a fan of geralt/dett

random headcanon:

his “pack” up until syanna consisted almost entirely of orphaned lower vampires. whether due to their family dying or abandoning them, dett’s reserved & calming demeanor makes it easier for LVs to trust him. he’s nursed plenty of injured LVs back to health & when he passed thru the remnants of stygga castle, he did so bc he originally thought that he was following the trail of an injured LV (having caught regis’ scent). it was only when he got closer that he recognized the ‘shapeless smear’ was regis--someone he hadn’t seen in centuries--& chose to help him heal despite how taxing it would be.

unpopular opinion

i don’t understand his popularity as a character or how his actions can be defended. his character design is great (i still wanna to buy his moth brooch tbh), he was voice acted very well, & there are hints of an interesting backstory esp in relation to why he chose to help regis regenerate, but that’s not the focus of the dlc.

if i have to rely on regis to explain why dettlaff is a good person/deserves redemption/etc., then that’s lazy writing. i love regis to death, but he, like anna henrietta, was blind to/didn’t want to see his loved one’s faults/misdeeds. u can’t make an unbiased character judgement on someone you’re close to and indebted to imo.

granted, regis himself is an example of dett’s charity since he is alive & well (& also is stressed af bc of dettlaff), but does one good deed wash away all the death he later commits in the attack on beauclair? motivation or not, murder is murder, plain & simple. i can forgive but not condone regis’ actions in his youth bc, arguably, regis was already punished severely for it & chose to change/become a better person. cdpr didn’t give us an option to allow dett to be punished for his crimes (in something other than death--which i don’t think he nor syanna deserve) or let us know if he eventually grows to be a better person w/ the help of regis & so i can only care for him in the respect that i mourn the character he (& syanna) could’ve been.

in summary: everything i dislike abt dettlaff is entirely due to a lack of care when it came to fleshing out his character. we only see him committing acts of violence/murder, never healing or helping. we see the fallout of his anger, see that he feels grief & even remorse (like in de la croix’s death), but it doesn’t excuse the act itself. ppl are more than welcome to like or love morally dark/dubious characters, but i have an issue when a morally dubious character is painted as good or good but misunderstood.

song i associate with them

the song inferno by sir sly gives me real dettlaff vibes: I think you clipped my wings to save me from the sunForgot my hands and knees, I had to learn a lessonOh fearless teacher how'd I ever lose my sightWhy'd I ever try to fight against your path?Somewhere at half my life, I wandered in the woodsCan't find a single right, I swear nothing is goodI'm blinded now and darkness shrouds my every sightWhy'd I ever try to fight for my own path?

favorite picture of them:

once again, too lazy to find one, but his final form in the boss battle was cool even if it kinda went against sapkowski’s lore.

#Anonymous #hannah rambles into the void #warning: if u like dett maybe don't read this as i might've been a tad harsh on his character & i know how it feels when someone criticizes #a fave character #& that's also why i won't be tagging either of them as i don't wanna put these sorts of things into their tag #but yes!! thank u for asking anon ;v; i appreciate it! rambling about the witcher is fun!!

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one-moreminute · 6 years

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HI, for the ask meme: 1, 2, 5, 6, 7,8, 10, 12,13, 16, 17, 23, 24, 25, 32, 33, 40, 41, 44, 47, 49, 52, 54, 57, 58, 60, 62(and yes I am an idiot for putting that number in here), 66, 68, 69, 70 and 71(good luck)

I’m gonna say now that I really cba to paste in the questions for all of these because tumblrs fucked up again so enjoy this bigass disjointed ask dump. 1 - I’m a back sleeper, but its more comfortable on my side. Go figure. 2 - It depends really? Its normally what I’ve just been listening to, so,, I’ve been listening to BTS again lately though, and I just caught myself humming Aeroplane Pt.2,,, so,,,,5 - My irl friend (@queerly-disappointed, Fuck You) told me he had a tumblr,, and I’d found the text posts that popped up on basically every other social media funny, so I made an account? I regretted it like 60 seconds later6 - I don’t think telling people I used to watch an anime about (gay) volleyballers would go too well, tbh (haikyuu)7 - ,,,okay so tbh I don’t really wanna explain any of my interests there mainly because people are assholes and I’m way too guarded, but wtnv would probably be the easiest because it just sounds like a weird podcast8 - It just switched from Outro: Tear (BTS) to Press Restart (Walk the Moon), so I guess that counts?10 - Wait,, I can pick ANY animal,, and I magically have no allergies,, do you genuinely think I’d stop at one? Okay but I’d probably start of with a dog (I used to have a border collie and they’re the best), like 37 cats, and crows are also really cool but probably not the best pet,, so12 - this is,, a tough one. Uhhh, I genuinely hate pineapple with every fibre of my being and every one of them should be thrown into the void so I never have to taste that sour piece of stringy shit ever again. ,,,I’m okay now13 - catch me avoiding all confrontation ever, so like,, Running Away That Magically Kills Everyone?16 - jejahsjjs salty/savoury food is the best, when I can have it curry is great, but if not just salty crackers are vvv good. I have no idea why, I just really like the taste and they make me feel better, so??17 - mad science huh,, I really like biology and plants are cool, so catch the Mad Botanist and his Army Of Evil Trees (and that one asshole holly bush who keeps spiking everyone bc they’re an asshole and I hate them)23 - I end up obsessively hoarding pens and paper because I always run out. Does that count?24 - Nearest pen’s my good fineliner, which I got last September for school I think?25 - Last game I played is Really Bad Chess (check the App Store, it’s,, something), so unless the zombies end up with like 6 queens I think I’m good 32 - When I was a kid I had this stuffed dog thing and I’d squeezed half of the stuffing out into the arms, so the joins between the body and shit were completely empty. He’s currently living behind my bed, in a box somewhere, I think 33 - Keeping a Secret by Bleachers (I actually really like this song but there aren’t many like,, meaningful lyrics in that way I guess? It’s more the mood, idk if you could pull some out and have it mean the same,, but)And oh God, it's a long walk homeBut I understand why I walk it alone44 - Most orange is UGLY with other colours. I don’t really like red either?47 - When I was really little I had this weird ass dream about clowns? Like it was legit just six different clowns stood in front of a blue background but I was Shook. 49 - Obscure facts,, when ya boi John Snow was trying to prove cholera was in fact Water Bourne And Doesn’t Appear Out Of Nowhere You Fucking Twat back in the 19th Century, he made a map of the deaths in his area due to cholera. Except he found one woman miiiiiles away who was dead from it, even though she was nowhere near any other victims. Why? She had her servants bring water from the infected pump because she liked the taste. 52 - ,,once upon a time my dumbass thought he was straight54 - I bet you couldn’t fucking guess what my favourite fucking curse is, I mean what the fuck, it must be so fucking hard, I have no fucking clue how the fuck you’re gonna guess this 57 - Digital art is genuinely incredible but I can’t do it to save my life 58 - Uhh,, I know how to build a fire?60 - Dinosaurs and aliens are great but dude,, dragons62 - I’m not insulting you, nice try 66 - Honesty, creativity, kindness I guess?68 - Nebula is a good word69 - Fuck alien, marry dragon, kill dinosaur (they had it coming anyway)70 - And here we see a wild gay, in his natural habitat. The specimen appears to be avoiding all responsibility, shielding himself in the familiar digital walls of his phone - but what’s this? He’s picking up a pen - we may be in for a treat today - he’s leaning down to the book open on his desk,, he’s about to write someth- and the pen crashes against the window, thrown from the creature in a moment of impulsiveness and sheer, unbridled stupidity. 71 - How about I don’t do that?So I’ve been doing this on and off for the past like 6 hours and I haven’t proof read this and I can’t remember what I put in this so rip future me

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alyjojo · 3 years

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20 memories & isms I love about you.

1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰

2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)

3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆

4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.

5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.

6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.

7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.

8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.

9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.

10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.

11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....

12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️

13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.

14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.

15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.

17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.

18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.

19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.

20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.

I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.

#I love him with all my heart

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standing-in-the-rain29 · 3 years

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Interview Tag

Rules: Answer the following questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

I was tagged by @ladyknight-keladry ! Thanks for tagging me, though I fear my answers will leave much to be desired 😬😂 But let’s do it anyway! Here we go:

Nickname: I have a few. The most common is Jess. My mom calls me snugglebug, and my little sister likes to call me muffin-head lol

Pronouns: She/her

Star Sign: Aquarius

Height: 5’ 4”

Current Time: 10:38 pm ... I really need to go to sleep since I have work in the morning. Oh well!

When is your birthday: January 29

Favorite Band/Group/Solo Artist (I grouped these together): BTS, American Authors, Imagine Dragons, Red, Halestorm, Disturbed, Godsmack, Bad Wolves, Daughtry, Demi Lovato, Alesia Cara, The Score, Ava Max, Sam Smith, Daya, Adam Lambert, Halsey, GIMS, Tiziano Ferro, and many more lol My tastes vary with my daydreams at the moment :)

Song Stuck in my Head: My Head & My Heart by Ava Max. Specifically one line: “My mind’s got a mind, mind, mind of it’s own right now and it makes me hate me”

Last Movie Watched: X2 My mom, little sister, and I are watching the X-Men series, so, yeah. We already did Marvel, so we’re making our way through this series before moving on again lol

Last Show Binged: WandaVision. I waited until the entire season was done to watch it, and I binged all of then in two nights 😂 I’m thinking about waiting for TFATWS to finish too before watching? But ughhhhh it’s tough waiting! I love Bucky.

When Did You Creat Your Blog: July 2, 2013. OMG So long ago! My posts were ... interesting back then lol I went through phases, which I guess is t any different! But at least they are healthier?

Last Thing Googled: Toshiba tv reseating cables ... our tv has a wide blue line going down it, and I was trying to figure out how to fix it 😩😩 I’m gonna have to finagle and try things I’m it sure I’m good at. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’ll be interesting.

Other Blogs: Nope! I’ve only had this one! Cuz I’m weird lol

Who Chose Your URL: Me!! I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out back then and randomly chose it because ... rain is awesome lol Haven’t changed it because I don’t like change.

Do you get asks: Sometimes? Not often, which is both good and meh. Meh because I do like the attention, I think. Good because I am so awkward! My mood changes a lot between hyper/confident so I say whatever and don’t care what people think (right now for instance) to overthinking/low self esteem where I don’t know what to say, don’t want to say something wrong, get an answer wrong, and so on. It’s rough. My mental health is a slippery slope. Whelp.

How many people do you follow: 167

How many people follow you: 186!!! Holy cannoli guys! Thank you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 I honestly don’t care if people follow me or not. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of making friends on here, but this blog is for me. My safe space where only one person in the world knows me in real life (and she’s never on lol), so yup.

Lucky number: uhhhh 29?

Instrument: Hah! That’s funny. Me? Play an instrument? Nah. Took a piano class in college as an elective ... played by ear and got by, but don’t remember any of it!

Currently wearing: I’m in bed, about to sleep, so my pajamas. Which is basically a huge shirt lol Not that you needed to know that ... I may delete later tbh

Dream job: Man ... I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure this shit out. All the stress. But if money wasn’t an option ... something with the ocean. With animals. Idk what exactly, or where, but I seriously love the ocean. It’s calm yet unforgiving. I don’t live by an ocean, but I would love to. Just ... not where hurricanes hit lol because fuck that.

Dream trip: Shark diving with great white sharks :) Or something my little sister wants, and therefore spend time with her and my family while having fun. Both are good.

Favorite food: CHOCOLATE! I love chocolate. No lie. So good. Pizza, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, salad (yummmmmy) ... basically carbs, cheese, chocolate, and some healthy things lol

Favorite Song: Why. How could you? Why put me in this situation! My mind went completely blank! It changes constantly. Depends on many things. I’ll give you my top 5 songs from last year on Spotify: ON by BTS, What About Us by P!nk, Ya Habibi by Mohamed Ramadan (totally found this on accident while looking for Nicky/Joe Old Guard songs and omg yesssss!), Daechwita by Agust D, and Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi.

Top three fictional universes you’d like to live it: Sooo. I have literally no idea??? Are we talking movies, books, shows, all of the above?? Ahhh. Guys. This is stressful. It shouldn’t be, right? Idk. I’m going to skip because I have no clue, and it’s stressing me out. Sorry?

Alright! That was a wild ride. Now it’s time for me tag people. If any of my followers want to do this, go for it! And for those I tag, you don’t have to do it! Here are my tags: @alona-marinelli , @spookydefendordreamer , @justagirlwithhercat , and @just-a-rather-ace-ravenpuff . So like. I’m tired. And tagging isn’t hard normally, but right now it is, so sorry if I forgot anyone that I talk to, that reblogs me a lot, that I reblog a lot, or so on. If I forgot anyone, I’m sorry! Please do it if you want to, or not! You do you. All the love xx 🤗🤗🤗

#interview tag #sorry for spelling for grammar mistakes #I’ll edit this later #but I gotta sleep #night guys #me #alll the info #sorry not sorry #good mood at the moment #will most likely change #lol

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riskeith · 3 years

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aside from that, ur graphics must look incredible! i’ve seen some comparison pics and pc graphics are God Tier. help the second lowest being “high”... good riddance. 😶

summer 2016! it seems so long ago like a whole different universe. everything was so beautiful back then.. everybody was out and about hunting pokémon’s... that zine is so cute! i wouldn’t say main i actually only got into them a little while ago and i’m still mostly tddk and kiribaku but bkdk is interesting.. to say the least. i haven’t seen what happens in the manga (only a bit of spoilers especially that cover...) and s4 didn’t give us That many scenes with them but i’m keeping my eyes open... wbu?

IDK like their descriptions make it seem like they might help you find some specific treasures??? like the gold seelie giving you fortune aka mora? not sure tho hehe... YEAH THAT FANART!!! so cute i wanna eat them all.. forbidden snack. 🥺 omg funny you mention that... i met xiao just earlier for the first time and when i saw his entire outfit i was like.. hm i wonder what he would look like in darker clothing HAHA. but yeah skins would be awesome!!!! like a clothing shop or smth somewhere????? anyway when i saw him i was like HEY that’s cluna’s boy!

ALBEDO IS A BAD BITCH. his hair is perfect perfect perfect. actually everything about him is so perfect he’s just a delicate little guy... 🥺 dude us talking about albedo and opening up the game and seeing his banner is like... 👀 temptation.

with venti??? i’m not sure which quest you mean i did the archon one with him though and it was awesome. does he have more? I DID LOOK IT UP AND MURASE IS MAKING HIS VOICE EVEN HIGHER AND IT’S SO CUTE I WISH I KNEW IT BEFOREHAND SO I COULD’VE HEARD HIS VOICE WHILE DOING THE MISSION. 😭 oh well 😭

hopefully there are some good 4 stars too. who are you wishing for? anyone special? imagine having xingqiu and chongyun.... that’s like the dream. and bennett and razor and you have the boy scout party haha!! do you have mostly claymore users?

i remember you mentioning you don’t like book users but i’ve actually really grown to love them hehe. their long range attacks are so nice and handy! KAZE DA! 😭 bro stop i literally have a crush on venti it’s ridiculous.. imagine closing ur eyes and talking and it’s his voice.... (OR HINATA!!!) murase is so lucky... he seems like such a great guy too ajsksjdk..

ok friends to lovers goodness! 🥺 i’m considering getting twitter just to see fanart... maybe.. o.o

ooooo that’s so thorough! in all caps caught my attention, why do you do that? personally, if it’s something longer i write bulletpoints of the concept but never like... actual plot yk? i’ve tried before but i doesn’t work for me very well. so.. i wing it! and like you i just get inspired randomly, it could be from song lyrics or thinking about tropes i enjoy. 😜

loona is cool! they have this whole story about their group. i highly recommend checking them out! i wonder if they kept it up though lmao. oh yeah everyone loves hozier he just speaks to the soul.. LOVELY IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!! LIKE EASILY TOP SONGS OF MY LIFE!!! it makes me so happy that you like it even if you skip it lmaojsjdjsjsjdk and i like billie a lot!! ariana too she has great music.., idk if you’ve heard of the group the neighborhood but i like them too. lana del rey as well! haha guess it’s super basic stuff tbh. all of them with mostly slow songs.. sorry 😭

OK GOOD. all nighters are honestly horrible. i don’t get how people can pull them off and get things done... (hopefully you never have to either!) YEAH haha 8 am is my favorite hour i think... that and 9 pm. they’re just special. what’s your favorite time of day? listen if you stay up to read fics that’s valid. midnight up is like the perfect time to read fics it makes them appear more magical sjdkdhdk.

i hope i caught you today but if not, hope you’re sleeping well babe! ♥️

sorry i was playing genshin! JFKSNXKSNKSJ i started before 12am and before i knew it it was already 1am… my goodness

and yeah i watched this vid comparing the graphic quality settings (i play on the default one) and i was like??? people really be playing like this? LOL can’t relate

edit: missed this paragraph oops but yeah what a time 2016 was! (lmao voltron started that year iirc) i remember we had an athletics event and legit everyone was on their phones jfksnfksnd. oooo! nice tddk and krbk are very good very nice. and also yeah that cover lol i love that you didn’t even have to specify which one i just Know. hmm i think rn bkdk would be one of the top ships i’m interested in aside from todobaku? they just have so much history ya know? and they have a lot of moments in the second movie! oh wait did you know that there are movies? two of them in fact!! the kiribaku is pretty strong in the first one (but there are some todobaku moments too lol). and there are a few OVAs too. WAIT are you all caught up with the anime? can’t rmemeber if you’ve told me or not 😫

oooo if that were the case tho what would the others give? i did like the “sea blue” description or something of the blue one tho 😩 YOU WANNA EAT THEM FJDJCJSKNCSKJCKSNXJS NO!!! but i can understand.. they look very squishy. THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!! honoured you thought of me <33 yo i was also wondering what chongyun would look like in darker clothes too HDKSKDN see this is why i need to learn how to draw.… gotta put them in the clothes i want since we can’t do that in game!! but a shop would be so cute omg

JFKSKSKAKS i’ve legit been staying away from opening the wish menu as much as i can.… it’s too tempting i can’t!!

yeah the archon one is what i meant sorry! forgot the name for it lol. and yes there is! once you reach AR 35 or something you can unlock story quests and venti is one of them 👀👀 RIPPPP BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW NOW 😭😭

i think just xingqiu rn!! i’ve been holding off ascending barbara in hopes of getting him, bc i grinded some oceanid (literally the worst fucking boss ever) before i ascended so i’m just hoarding those materials rn fjskdnd. yesss the boy scouts 😭🥺 but i heard chongyun and razor’s elemental skills cancel each other out so rip.. hmm i did a count and i think i have 3 each of claymore and catalyst users! hbu?

omg nooooo betrayal 😭 tho ngl i’m considering using ningguang bc i see people play her so well.. so i’m just carrying her around in my team hoping to passively level her up HAHAHA. i def appreciate their long range attacks too, lisa’s burst especially is quite nice. CHJDKSKD that’s so cute but also very relatable 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 also did you know murase is like tall af it’s kinda crazy lol

there’s /so/ much good fanart!!! it’s where i’m getting a taste of all the ships too lol but yeah there’s angst and fluff and just charas looking s*xy they’ve got it all 😩 but that also reminds me, like most other big fandoms genshin fandom is kinda fkn shit 😔 once again i’m thankful to myself for keeping such a small circle lmaooooo

honestly i don’t know either?? i think it helps me distinguish between what i’m actually writing vs what i’m planning like if i do something like “JUMPS OFF PLATFORM, LANDS IN FRONT. so, are you going to introduce me or do i have to do it myself ETC THEN THEY TALK SUDDENLY there’s the sound of a windchime, and VILLAINS HERE GOTTA FIGHT” it’ll look something like that jdjsndkskd where the lowercase is exact dialogue I wanna write in but the caps is just planning

but winging it ey that’s hot of you 🤪 god do you ever just like thinking about potential ideas before falling asleep but then your phone is far away/you don’t wanna hurt your eyes looking at a screen but then you’re also afraid you’ll forget the idea DJKSXKSK

:o! i think i stayed away bc of the whole “stan loona” thing DHSKKS but i might give them another shot! therefore i am is one of my go to songs rn hehe i really like the beats she uses they’re so funky. i don’t really like ariana sorry FJDJKSKS but she does have a lot of bangers!! side to side… 😘👌 and i do know the neighbourhood! sweater weather is so iconic but lately i’ve been skipping that too aahah. but have you heard daddy issues slowed? oh my god. that singlehandedly started my obsession with slowed songs (ironic isn’t it when you consider i don’t listen to normal slow songs fjsjdj) i like summertime sadness from lana! and young and beautiful too (the radio songs AHAH) but yeah.. they’re slow fjdkksks. how do you feel about halsey + melanie martinez + bastille? (i’m always paranoid about listing artists bc so many get cancelled or what other and i feel like randos are gonna come for me too JDKSKSKA.) oh and troye sivan!! and pentatonix if you’ve heard of them? i was obsessed with those two back in 2015 ahaha

omg crazy.. how!! hm my favourite hour is maybe 12pm? or 2pm? just some time in the afternoon i like when it’s still light outside but it’s also like “after school” time kinda .. and yesss reading fic at late hours… gets me crying more easily 🤪

i don’t think i’ll catch your next reply so goodnight in advance!! hope your day is great <3

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post #can’t tell if it should have a ‘read more’ or not bc i’m on mobile LOL #can’t insert one even if i wanted smh tmblr make your app better

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