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#idk why school expects everyone to be the same

j4ygyu · 3 days

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all i want is you | pjs

pairing: loverboy!jay x reader

genre: angst, fluff

summary: idk how to summarize this🙏🏻

<a/n> little women reference used cope w it 🤣

you hear it, the teasing glances and the whispers as you walk around the school. it’s been like this ever since jay, the popular guy at school had asked you out about 2 months ago during valentines.

“hey look it’s your girlfriend” you hear it very clearly, but you know what they want, they want a reaction out of you.

you still turn your head to the side to look and jay seems.. embarrassed? sad? you weren’t good at reading people so you never tried that hard either.

there wasn’t anything negative about you or your looks, it was just the people around you who did not value you. but sometimes you did tend to forget and let your emotions control you.

same way, 2 months ago when jay had asked you out, private proposal. it was pretty unusal to you, you thought it was some kind of prank, you still do, like some kind of bet.

so you just stared into his soul that day, without responding you nervously just bowed at him and excused yourself.

few other students saw and reported it to their friends and slowlt by the next day, the rumor spread like a wildfire.

yes jay’s ego was hurt, you expected him to look down at you after that day but later on he just showed up with “i will win you.”

maybe he watched a movie and got motivated off it?

you did like him back, no doubt in that but all your life you’ve felt like you were in a competition and always losing it so you just let things be.

there was someone else who wanted him, some other of your classmate, yunjin.

so you just did not want to be in all this drama, yunjin already despised you, you did not want to make things worse.

you head back to class as soon as recess is over, ignoring all the whispers and the look of envy you recieve from yunjin.

“what is going on?” wincing in pain as yunjin pushes you onto some wall with a sudden question.

“what the fuck do you want?” you ask back as she laughs at your face “i thought i told you to stay away from jay?” you could’ve fought back to get out of her grip, but come on she had two girls behind her making sure nobody sees.

“i did, we haven’t spoken in a while” you say as you grab her hand harshly and pull it away “and, don’t touch me.”

the sternness in your voice intimidated her, you could tell by the way she was gulping, even though you appeared weak you still were strong enough to fight back so they could not do much.

“then why the fuck is a rumor about jay dropping all his friends for you going on?” she says as you look at her, not even surprised cause you were already done with this school and it’s rumors.

she steps back “god have you like casted a spell on him? why the fuck does he even want you?” looking at you in disbelief if you have caused it.

shrugging, “don’t know and don’t care” you say as yunjin tries to trap you between her and the wall again but the teacher calls out

‘what are you girls doing? get to class right now’

she gives you the dirtiest smirk known to man kind as you stare into her soul back with a poker face, not feeding onto her little trick.

deciding to talk it out with jay, during second break you visit him near the playground area.

“why would you choose me when you can have her? i mean she has everything i don’t” oh the way jay could answer this in a paragraph.

“she has everything but she is not you okay? she is a piece of shit who goes around and bullies people, just like she has bullied you your entire life at school” you can audibly hear breaths leaving his mouth, desperation of wanting you really evident now.

your gazes piecered each other’s souls, staring deeply, somewhere deep down you knew there was some spark as your chest tightened oh how bad i want you jay.

“you’re what everyone wants jay. i am someone they spit on and walk past. nobody wants us together.” you confessed absentmindedly.

“why do you care about what they think?” he asked, “its always been like that, you were a bystander too before you liked me” he lowers his head out of embarrassment.

knowing there is nothing more to add in to the arguement, you slide your hands in the pockets of your uniform skirt and walk away.

little did you both know, yunjin was eavesdropping everything and rage of jealousy filled her making her undereye twitch.

class dismissed.

it is finally the end of the day, the bell rings as the sounds of everyone packing their bags fill your ears.

jay’s class was right infront of yours, but unfortunately yunjin was still in your class so you just couldn’t avoid her for some reason, knowing you’re under her sight almost all the time.

she walks out first as you go extra slow, too tired for anything.

out of luck, no body stops you to tease you today, everyone annoying out of your sight.

walking down the alley as everyone else, it was almost empty and not crowded as usual, as you realise you came out late. shit what was i dreaming about.

something captures your eyes, but you were captured someone’s eyes way long before you noticed, it was yunjin, she saw you walking back home to school and grabbed the opportunity out of her luck that jay was walking back too at the same time.

“oh- jayie” she calls out for him as he diverts his attnetion to her now raising his eyebrows, “can i have some water.” she asks faking tiredness.

jay cringes at her but still reaches for his side pockets of his bag.

as he is doing that, yunjin watches carefully as you walk closer, minding ur own business.

thats it as soon as jay looks back up yunjin pushes him to the nearest wall holding him by his tie and kisses him.

she kisses him so hungrily, ignoring his pushes, finally jay gives her one sudden push that makes her lose her balance and fall over “dude what the fuck?”

“did she see it?” she thinks to herself directly looking back at you as she sees you standing there, amused and disappointed.

jay looks at yunjin but realizes that she is looking somewhere else, his gaze follows her as his mind freezes for a short second.

you slowly meet his eyes, he could feel the rage in your eyes, your face completely showing numb as turn your eyes back to your path and continue walking.

you walked as fast as you could avoiding him calling out your name, running behind you.

jay thought to himself, this is the most of my desperation i can show. mix of anger, love and worry on his face.

“just stop jay.”

both of you stop in your tracks as he pants swiping his sweat off, bending down taking supporting of his knee.

he uses all his energy to keep his head high, it was like your and his eyes were magnets, once attached you could physically feel the burden of breaking it.

“why don’t you get it? just leave me!” you scream from a distance at the top of your lungs, catching your breath as soon as you were done with your words.

your feet faces back to your path as you continue walking fast, you could hear his footsteps fastening again, you did not quit either as you start running back

“i have loved you ever since i’ve known you y/n why dont you get it”his voice ringed in your ears as you cried after each word, eyes getting teary and blurry.

that’s when you gave up and lost it all, crying right there on the spot. “what jay?” you ask as you shut close your eyes, your lips trembling and so were the words.

he didn’t stop, continued to approach you and close the distance, shaking you by the shoulder, even though the action seemed harsh it felt so soft, “why don’t you just accept this? why don’t you just accept me? what do i lack?”

what do i lack.

someone so perfect like him had feelings like that too, about a total complete loser like you? after all he was just a person, just like you.

you opened your eyes, your eyes met his as the world went quiet, his narrowed eyes staring at you, the tension in the air mixed with all your emotions crashing with each other.

both of you taking deep breaths and panting hard, feeling the heat radiating off each other, “i gave up everything you didn’t like, cant you see? i’m happy i did its fine and i waited and i will wait and i never complained..

and i-“

you kiss his lips to shut him up, the sensation in his heart goes crazy as you feel his muscles go loose, knees bucking as sense of weakness.

you hold his face, sharp bones of his jawline and cheekbones right in contact with your palm, he was so warm. his lips were like pillows, so soft.

his head spins around, incapable of coping with the moment. you pull back

“you know i figured you’d love me y/n.” he says without thinking as if he was on auto pilot

“oh god how much i love you” you kiss his lips once again grabbing his collar to pull him closer.

you couldn’t hold onto it any longer maybe this is what everythings meant to be.

#enhypen fluff #park jongseong #enhypen x reader #enha #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #jay fluff

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joelsgreys · 5 months

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someone to be thankful for

DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: It’s Thanksgiving—when dinner with your nightmare of a family goes south, you find comfort in the person you least expect it from: your father’s best friend, Joel Miller.

warnings/tags: 18+ only, MINORS DNI. (AU, NO OUTBREAK) non canon, DBF! Joel, AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s, i do not specify her age, but she’s a recent college grad so do with that what you will, not everyone graduates at the same specific age ya know? Joel is in his mid-ish 50’s). Reader’s a teacher, she is visiting her suburban childhood home from a big city. Reader’s parents are religious and practice traditional-ish gender norms (i.e father is head of the household kinda thing) reader’s family celebrates Thanksgiving (sorry) several mentions of food and alcohol, reader’s parents suck, she has two brothers who come with names, a lot of her relatives come with names, watch out for Aunt Ines she’s a bitch. (TW) body/weight shaming (twice) PLEASE BE MINDFUL if this could be triggering. mentions of and implications of childhood abuse (not graphic) reader’s dad gets in her face, implied infidelity (reader’s dad), implied toxic marriage (reader’s parents). soft, caring, protective Joel. Joel’s recently divorced, mention of Sarah, mentions of the ex-wife. SMUT. oral sex (female receiving) p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) reader states she’s on baby blockers (birth control), creampie, DADDY KINK (bc reader clearly has a few daddy issues), LOTS of pet names (darlin’, baby, pretty girl, sweetheart, honey), size kink (ish?), cockwarming. think i got it all?

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. if this isn’t your thing, that is fine but just keep on scrolling.

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.

word count: 11.5k

a/n: yeah…idk. this was very delayed because it turned into a whole thing. if anyone actually reads all 11k of this, i will bake you muffins.

You take a deep breath and look in the mirror.

Skirt pressed, not a wrinkle in sight.

Hair brushed, not a single strand out of place.

Makeup done, not a blemish to be seen.

And somehow, someone will still find something.

Something to point out.

Something to comment on.

Something to criticize.

If not your appearance, it’ll be something else.

Because someone always had something to say.

“Should you be eating all of that?”

“Another year gone and still no boyfriend?”

“Don’t you want to get married?”

“When I was in my twenties, I had two children.”

Boundaries didn’t exist on Thanksgiving.

Actually, for your family, boundaries didn’t exist at all—somehow, they are still scratching their heads and wondering why you’d decided to up and leave the minute your high school principal handed over that diploma, your ticket to freedom.

“Sweetie!” Your mother’s shrill voice calls from the kitchen downstairs. “I need a hand! Our guests are going to start arriving soon and there is still plenty left for us to do before they get here!”

You groan outwardly.

There’s still plenty left to do?

How’s that even fucking possible?

You’ve been cooking and baking since sunrise.

“Don’t you think it’s too early?” you’d grumbled at five o’ clock in the morning when your mother had pulled you out of bed, declaring it was time for the big dinner preparations to begin—even though it’d be several hours before your family came over and gathered around the table to break bread. She had pulled the turkey out of the freezer a few days ago, a massive, thirty-pound whole bird that looked big enough to feed a small village. In addition, she had picked up a ham and a brisket. “Mom, why’s there so much food?” Rubbing the sleep from your eyes with the sleeve of your robe, you’d started making your way over to the Nespresso only to realize that the coffee machine was hidden behind paper bags full of groceries. “Are we cooking for all of Texas or something?”

“Very funny,” she had glared at you. “Of course we aren’t.” She started unwrapping the turkey. “We’re simply making sure we have enough food and that we have different options for everyone to enjoy, so knock it off with the wisecracks and get to peeling those carrots for me for the stuffing. There is not a single minute to waste today, you hear me, missy? We’re hosting a dozen people, so everything must be absolutely perfect. I won’t accept anything less than perfection today, do you understand me?”

Thirteen hours later, she’s still driving you insane.

You’re only home visiting until the end of the week and then it’s back to the Midwest. You can survive her for three more days, right?

You hear her calling your name and exhale a small, frustrated sigh. “I’m coming, mom!” you call back. It’s difficult to mask the annoyance in your tone of voice, but somehow you manage it. “One minute!”

Smoothing down your pleated plaid skirt, you take one last look in the mirror to make sure everything is in order—there is a loose thread on the sleeve of your brown, knitted sweater and you carefully snip it off with a pair of scissors before sliding your feet into the comfiest pair of ankle boots you’d packed and head downstairs, nose leading the way as you follow the warm, delicious scent of the made from scratch biscuits and rolls baking in the oven.

You find your mother standing at the center island counter garnishing a charcuterie board with sweet gherkins and sprigs of fresh herbs. She is donning festive apron embroidered with fall leaves over her designer dress; her hair’s still up in rollers. “Finally, there you are,” she huffs out loudly the second she hears you walk into the kitchen. Down the hallway, your father and two younger brothers are shouting at some football game on the flat screen television in the living room—men don’t lift a single finger on this day, at least not in this household. “I need you to start setting the table for me. I have place cards in that bag over there. Make sure your dad’s at the head of the table. Oh and don’t forget to bring out the children’s table for all your little cousins—” She glances up, letting out a small gasp when she sees you. “What in the world are you wearing?”

Frowning, you look down at yourself. “Clothes?”

Her ruby red lips purse together in a tight thin line.

“Honey, that skirt is too short. It’s inappropriate.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at her. “It’s like an inch above the knee, how is that inappropriate? It’s not like it’s a miniskirt, mom.” As she eyes your skirt with disapproval, you decide you’re not in the mood to argue and say, “Okay, fine. I’ll go upstairs and change into something else then—”

“No, no, forget it,” she shakes her head. “We don’t have the time for that.” Your mother whirls around, picking up the bag of place holders—she’d special ordered little turkeys carved out of wood. She also takes a marker and a notepad, shoving everything into your hands. “Here. I wrote down all the names of everyone who’s coming for dinner. The children get place holders too but make sure the little ones are sitting beside someone older to help them. Oh! Did I already mention putting your dad at the head of the—”

Tuning her out, your eyes scan down the guest list and if there’s one thing to be thankful for today it’s the fact that your mother’s given you the power to seat everybody wherever you want. Halfway down the list, you see the names of several relatives that you don’t want anywhere near you at the table. An Aunt Miriam who smells like the inside of a casino; a cousin Jennifer who refuses to acknowledge her forty-eight month old is actually four years old; an uncle Richard who always has one too many beers and winds up spewing antigovernment conspiracy theories, ranting until he’s passed out somewhere, such as on the floor of the guest bathroom.

You get to the bottom of the list and can’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Joel Miller?”

She nods, returning to her board.

“You remember Mr. Miller, don’t you, sweetie? He and your father went to college together—he’s one of his oldest and dearest friends. Don’t tell me you forgot about him? You’ve met him plenty of ti—”

“Yeah, I remember who Joel is, mom,” you mutter, cutting her off. “Didn’t he and the family move out to Arizona like, four years ago? To Phoenix, right?” You’d been away for college then. Taking a second glance at the list, you notice she had forgotten the names of Joel’s wife and daughter. Surely, it’d just been a mistake on her part, though. “I had no idea they were in town visiting. Dad didn’t mention it to me at all.”

“They’re not.” She lowers her voice, as if someone else is standing in the room listening. “Joel moved back to Austin, he’s been back for a few days now. He and Connie, they um—” Pausing for a moment, she reaches up and clasps the cross hanging from her neck before whispering, “They got divorced.”

Taken aback, your mouth parts slightly. “What?”

“I know. Joel and Connie were the last people that I ever thought would get divorced. Such a shame,” your mother remarks, shaking her head. “I ran into Mrs. Adler at the super market and she was telling me all about it. Thinks they could have saved their marriage if only those two—”

“Would get right with Jesus,” you finish, biting the tiny smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. “She says that about everything, mom.”

“Well, she isn’t wrong! The sacrament of marriage is a lifelong bond that shouldn’t be broken. It’s not right.” Dropping her hand away from her necklace, she crosses her arms over chest. “Anyway, Connie stayed in Phoenix. Sarah’s spending Thanksgiving with her. Your father didn’t want Joel spending the holiday alone and invited him over for dinner. That means I need you to be on your very best behavior tonight. I don’t want you embarrassing your father in front of his closest friend. Is that understood?”

You can’t help but scoff a little. “I’m not a child.”

She narrows her eyes at you and scoffs right back, planting her hands on her hips.

“No, you’re a smart aleck. Need I remind you what happened last Thanksgiving with Aunt Ines?”

Of course she didn’t have to remind you about last year’s fiasco with her insufferable bitch of a sister.

“That’s an awfully big piece of pumpkin pie,” she’d remarked loudly, eliciting snickers from everybody sitting at the table. “Don’t forget, dear—a moment on the lips, forever on the hips. And you have quite a few forevers on your hips already, darling.”

You had smiled sweetly at her, your fingers itching to fling your mother’s fine china at her. “I wouldn’t really worry about my pie, Aunt Ines,” you had said as soon as you realized that nobody, not even your parents, would be coming to your defense. “Much less when your husband’s stepping out and eating someone else’s pie when he’s away on all those so called business trips. Worry about that instead.”

That comment hadn’t gone over all too well. Three months later, Aunt Ines and Uncle Louis started to see a marriage counselor. Whoops.

“Well?”

“She deserved that,” you say, shrugging lightly.

“She’s family.”

“She’s a jerk.”

“You crossed a line.”

“She crossed it first.”

Before your mother can respond, the sound of the doorbell ringing echoes throughout the house.

“Jesus, we don’t have time for this!” Your mother’s eyes widen when she tries running a hand through her hair and realizes she still has her rollers in. “Oh no, people are arriving and I’m still not ready!” She makes a beeline for the hallway. “Get the door and greet our guests, I’ll be down in five minutes!”

She disappears upstairs into her bedroom and you hear the doorbell ring again. Your father shouts for someone to go answer it, someone other than him or your brothers because it is the end of the fourth quarter and they just can’t possibly miss that.

You make your way through the foyer and open up the front door expecting it to be one of your family members, but it’s not.

Your throat instantly goes dry at the sight of him.

He’s broader than you remeber, so much broader.

The fabric of his sage green dress shirt is nice and snug on his frame—stretched taut over the planes of his chest and his wide shoulders. He’s holding a box of store bought something or other but you’re much too preoccupied with the way the sleeves of his shirt are hugging his biceps to notice what it is although you assume it’s some kind of dessert. He looks far more delicious than whatever sweet treat could be in that white box he’s got in his hands.

After a minute, you realize you’ve been gawking at him and the heat rushes to your cheeks. “Hello Mr. Miller,” you greet him politely. “It’s very nice to see you again. Please, come on in.”

He smiles, his brown eyes warm and sweet behind his square, black-rimmed glasses. “You remember me,” he states and the syrupy richness of his voice sends a pleasant tingle up your spine. Stepping off to the side, you allow him inside—as he steps past you over the threshold, the tantalizing scent of his cologne almost brings you to your knees. Notes of a citrus accord like tart grapefruit, fresh bergamot mixed with the woodiness of vetiver and musk; it’s intoxicating, something you could easily get drunk off of if you’re not careful. “I’m surprised. S’been a real long time since you last saw me.”

“It hasn’t been all that long,” you reply, closing the door behind you. You speak to him in the steadiest voice you can muster, with nonchalance—as if you aren’t one missed heartbeat away from feeling like a silly little schoolgirl with her first crush. “Has it?”

He thinks about it. “‘Bout four and a half years.”

“That’s really not that long.”

“S’not,” Joel admits with a chuckle. “But with how much I’ve aged in that short amount of time, I just wasn’t sure if you’d recognize me, y’know? I look a lot different than I used to.” He pauses and laughs, shaking his head. “I must look like an old geezer to you now, don’t I?”

Grays lightly pepper his thick dark brown curls, his beard and his mustache. He’s got crows feet when he smiles, he has worry lines and creases between his eyebrows—he does look a lot older, but he’s so goddamn handsome, wrinkles, fine lines, and all.

You toss him a playful eye roll, prompting a grin. “I don’t think you look like an old geezer, Mr. Miller.”

“Well, you’re sure as hell makin’ me feel like an old geezer by callin’ me that, darlin’ girl.” He gives you a little wink and you’re not quite sure if it’s that, or if it was the way he’d used a pet name that knocks all the wind out of your lungs. “Please, just call me Joel.”

You nod and shyly agree to it. “Okay, then. Joel.”

“S’much better.” His grin widens and a prominent, deep dimple appears on the left side of his cheek.

There’s a silence that follows, but it’s not awkward or weird. It’s comfortable—being in his presence is comfortable. His sweet disposition makes you feel so calm, so at ease.

Joel’s always been a nice man of course, although your interactions with him had been limited—kind, quick hello’s in passing on Sundays whenever he’d come over to watch football with your dad, maybe a polite how are you here and there if you bumped into him at gatherings like a backyard barbecue or birthday party. But you’re older now, no longer the child who greeted her father’s best friend because it was bad manners if she didn’t. You don’t want to throw him that kind, quick hello or that polite how are you and then scurry off the way you used to as a little kid. You actually want to talk to Joel Miller.

But you suddenly remember he’s not here for you.

He’s here for your father.

Joel!” Your mother screeches, five-inch high heels clacking loudly as she descends the staircase. She had ditched the apron and hair rollers—and put on one too many layers of her heaviest perfume. With a delighted squeal, she rushes up to Joel and pulls him into a bone crushing hug, almost causing him to drop the box he’s still holding. “Oh, it is so good to see you! It’s been far too long!”

You force back a small, amused snort.

As if she hadn’t been judging the man for a failed marriage just minutes ago in the kitchen.

It’s performative, too over the top to be sincere.

“S’good to see you too.” He steps back and laughs as he adjusts his glasses with one of his hands. He holds out the box to her with the other. “Picked up a pecan pie on the way over here. I would’a tried to make it myself, but the kitchen’s still all packed up in boxes.” He pauses, laughing again. “Then again, I ain’t really much of a baker. Store bought was for the best I reckon,” he admits, sheepishly. When he shrugs his shoulders, his shirt strains a bit over his frame and even your mother can’t help but stare a little.

Lightly clearing her throat, she takes the box from him and reminds him, “Didn’t I tell you that all you had to bring tonight was a nice, healthy appetite?”

Joel lightly pats his stomach. “Brought that too. In fact, I didn’t eat a thing all day long. I’m absolutely starvin’ right now. Could eat a whole horse.”

“Good! Dinner’s going to be served soon. William’s in the living room with the boys, watching football game after football game. Come with me, I’m sure you’re eager to see him.” Your mother spins on her heel and hands you the dessert. “Sweetie, will you be a gem and go put this in the kitchen for me?” It isn’t a request, it’s an order masked as a request—it’s the kindest she’s been to you all day. She takes Joel’s arm and leads him down the hallway, calling out over her shoulder, “And please set the table!”

You do set the table, and when you do, you decide to sit yourself right next to Joel Miller.

Your mother lightly clinks her knife against the rim of her wine glass and clears her throat. “Everyone! It’s time to join hands and say grace before we dig into our meal,” she announces, her voice breaking through the loud, buzzing chatter at the table. She waits until there’s complete silence and then takes her seat, the chair adjacent to your father’s. You’re on his opposite side and Joel’s right beside you. “I think you should do the honor, William. You are the man of the house, after all.”

Nodding, your father begins the prayer.

“Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about—”

You’re not listening. You’re distracted by the jolt of electricity that zips through your entire body when you put your hand in Joel’s. His hand dwarfs yours and it’s rough and calloused, but somehow it’s the most gentle, soothing touch. Heat prickles at your face and neck when you feel him sweep his thumb across the back of your hand—you open your eyes and glance over at him, wondering if that had just been an accident. You’re convinced it was, until he does it again, running his finger over each knuckle one at a time. Slowly, like he’s savoring the touch.

Biting your lip, you give his hand a gentle squeeze.

His head is bowed and his eyes are still closed, but a faint smile tugs lightly at the corner of his mouth and he firmly squeezes your hand back. There’s an unmistakable desire that’s already burning deep in your lower belly, a flame you can’t extinguish even when the angel on your shoulder reminds you that not only is Joel Miller twice your fucking age, he is also your father’s best friend. His best friend.

“…through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

“Amen,” your relatives chime together in unison.

You force out the declaration. “Amen.”

“Amen,” Joel murmurs, opening his eyes. He turns to you and his gaze flits to your hand in his and for a moment, it almost seems like he doesn’t want to let it go. It feels like Joel doesn’t want to let it go—and he doesn’t. He doesn’t let it go until the sound of your father’s loud, booming voice announcing it is time for him to carve the bird startles the two of you apart. Clearing his throat lightly, Joel turns his attention forward and reaches for his cabernet. He gulps down half his glass in one easy swallow.

Dinner’s fairly uneventful.

You eat in complete silence, as does Joel.

Part of you wonders if it’s because you’re sitting in between him and your father, the only person that he’s most comfortable conversing with. Assuming this is the case, you’re just about to ask him if he’d like to trade places when he turns to you and says, “Your dad told me you went to school in Chicago.”

He’s just being friendly, you remind yourself when your heart starts to flutter wildly at the notion that he wants to talk to you. He’s friendly. That’s all. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Yeah. I did.” You pick up your glass of wine, taking a sip hoping it’ll ease the nerves. “I graduated over the summer and took a teaching job out there.”

“You became a teacher?”

“Yeah. I teach kindergarten.” You smile proudly.

“Can you believe that, Joel?” Your father lets out a scoff and shakes his head. “I spent thousands and thousands of dollars to send her to school. All that money and for what? For her to learn how to teach little ankle biters how to color inside the lines?” He rolls his eyes and gestures to your two brothers on the opposite side of the table. “Now my boys, they are smart. Chose good careers to pursue. Brandon starts applying to medical school in the spring. Oh and Matthew? He got early acceptance to Yale. He plans on studying law.” He shifts his attention over to you once more and shrugs. “Not too sure where I went wrong with this one.”

You stare at him in complete and utter disbelief.

“Dad.”

Chortling, he waves a dismissive hand. “Oh, come on, honey. I’m just kidding around. You know that I don’t mean it.” He then reaches out, pinching your cheek roughly. “Don’t be so sensitive,” he tells you before turning his attention back to his plate.

But he does mean it.

His comments hurt, and you hate that they hurt.

Joel nudges your arm with his. “Y’know somethin’, it takes someone real special to become a teacher, ‘specially to kids that age,” he states in a matter of fact tone. “Someone who’s real sweet and patient, someone real smart too. Someone just like you.”

Warmth radiates through your entire body. It’s not just his words, but it’s the sincerity behind them.

You shoot him a small, grateful smile.

The two of you wind up talking to one another.

Joel’s moving his contracting business, bringing it back to Austin from Phoenix to run it with Tommy, his younger brother who you vaguely remembered meeting a time or two in the past. He mentions his daughter here and there, but doesn’t bring Connie up once—perhaps it’s too painful for him? It’s hard to tell. He seems to be in good spirits and truth be told, it doesn’t appear he’s mourning his marriage; but it’s difficult to believe he’s not missing her, the woman he’d spent three decades of his life with. It shouldn’t even matter to you whether he’s missing his ex-wife or not, if there are residual feelings still lingering around. But it does matter and you don’t know why. Or maybe you do know why, but you’re too ashamed to admit it.

“Do you like Chicago?” Joel questions, curiously.

Shrugging, you respond, “Yeah. It’s a cool city.”

“You plan on stayin’ out there permanently?”

“I’m not too sure,” you admit. “It’s too expensive. I don’t want to live with a roommate forever. Unless teachers start getting paid more, I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to afford to live alone in Chicago.”

Joel seems hesitant about his next query. “Do you ever think ‘bout comin’ back to Austin at all?”

Suddenly, you’re not too sure about that either.

You’ve been itching to go back and get as far from Austin, Texas as possible, but now, it means being far from Joel Miller. There’s a deep, sinking feeling inside of your chest at the thought.

Realizing he’s still waiting for a response, you have no choice but to tell him the truth. “I don’t think I’ll ever come back here, to be honest. Not to stay.”

“Oh. I see.” He sounds disappointed. “Are you—do you plan on visitin’ home again for Christmas?”

“I do. I’ll be here for Christmas and New Year’s.”

He’s being friendly. He’s being friendly. He’s—

“It’d be real nice to see you again then.” Flushing a deep shade of red, subtle regret flashes across his features, as if he’d said it without thinking. Picking up his glass, he drains the rest of his wine and you can swear he’s nervous. About what he’d just said, and about whether or not your parents, who are in such close proximity, had overheard him. Because what business did he have in telling their daughter it would be nice to see her again?

They’re both much too preoccupied. Your father is attempting to be slick checking his text messages underneath the table and you can tell by the smirk on his face that it’s one of his secretaries. He’s got a penchant for perky blondes in tight pencil skirts. Your mother is well aware of this. She is also aware he’s on his phone, but she turns a blind eye just as she always does and distracts herself by being the perfect hostess.

Feeling foolishly courageous, you turn back to him and nod, heart pounding against your sternum. “It would. It’d be very nice, actually.”

Relieved, he nods and murmurs quietly, “We’ll talk ‘bout it later, then. That okay, darlin’?”

Not wanting to seem too eager, you nod again and turn away from him, teeth sinking into your lip in a futile attempt to hide the giddiness in your smile—but the soft chuckle Joel elicits under his breath is a clear indication that it’s useless.

He knows how he’s making you feel. He likes it.

Your mother returns from the kitchen carrying two baskets of fresh crescent rolls, one for each end of the table. She sets one of them down right in front of you and you reach out to take one when a voice, one that sounds as awful as nails scraping down a chalkboard, remarks loudly, “Should you be eating so much bread, dear?” Ines, who’s sitting a couple chairs down, next to your grandmother, looks over at you and raises an eyebrow. There’s a smug little smile on her face, almost as if she were daring you to run your mouth like you’d done last year.

For as much as it pains you, you make your choice and decide not to take the bait. You pull your hand out of the basket of rolls and pick up your glass of wine instead, chugging it down like it’s water.

Frowning, Joel picks up the basket and takes a roll that you assume is for himself, but it’s not. Putting it on your plate, he shoots her a frigid glare. “Don’t you listen to her.” He says it loud enough for her to hear him. “You just enjoy yourself, alright?”

Your aunt bats her eyes, innocently. “Well, I’m just saying. If my skirt was that tight on me, I would be thinking twice about what goes into my mouth.”

Hushed laughter sweeps across the entire table.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” You slam your empty glass down so hard onto the table that the entire dining room goes completely silent. The little ones at the children’s table stare with big and wide eyes, mouths full of food hung open because a grown up had just used a naughty word.

Your mother says your name warningly. “Don’t you start,” she hisses, shaking her head. “Be quiet.”

Angrily, you round on her. “Seriously? You’re going to let her say that to me? You don’t care that she’s making comments about my weight?” You almost laugh. Of course doesn’t care, she has never cared and she never will. “I’m your daughter! Would it kill you to defend me for once in your fucking life?”

“Shut your mouth!” Your father stands up, shoving a threatening finger into your face, so close the tip of it almost touches the tip of your nose. He hasn’t put his hands on you since you were nine, but he’s as drunk as he is angry, and you find yourself back in the shoes of the little girl who would curl up into a ball in the corner of her room as she begged and pleaded for him not to hurt her. “You hear me?”

Joel stands and walks around your chair. Placing a hand on your father’s chest, he mutters, “Hey now let’s take a step back from her, alright?” He guides him back down into his chair. “Ain’t gotta be in her face like that, Will.”

“I’m sick and tired of her ruining everything—can’t get through one dinner without her screwing it up! Always has to run that fucking mouth of hers! She still acts like a goddamn fucking child—”

You can’t bear to sit there and hear another insult.

Fighting back the hot tears that are threatening to spill over, you quickly stand up and rush out of the dining room. You make a beeline for the front door and step outside onto the porch. It’s about sixty or so degrees in Austin and the cold nips at your bare legs, but that’s the least of your worries. Without a place to go, you descend the porch steps and find yourself walking towards the swing that’s hanging from the old bur oak tree in the front yard. You had asked your father for a swing when you were three years old—it wasn’t until your brothers asked for a swing a couple years later that he’d hung one up.

You sit down, hands curling around the rope that’s so old and weathered it’s beginning to fray slightly but not so much so that you’re concerned about it snapping. You’re so busy trying to keep it together that you don’t notice the sound of crisp, autumnal leaves crunching under a pair of boots behind you. A hand gingerly touches your shoulder. You let out a startled gasp and glance over to see it’s Joel.

“Hey there, darlin’,” he says, gently.

You stare at him in surprise.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” you grit the lie through your teeth.

Joel’s expression softens. “You ain’t gotta pretend with me, sweetheart.”

His concern is genuine. It’s real.

You don’t quite know how to handle it. Accept it.

“It got real ugly in there, ‘specially with your dad.”

Tears prickle at your eyes all over again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Joel. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Baffled, Joel walks around the swing and a minor labored grunt escapes him as he squats in front of you. “There’s a few people who need to be apologizin’ for what happened, but darlin’ you sure as fuckin’ hell ain’t one of them.”

It’s odd. Feels foreign, even.

You’re not used to someone being on your side—it prompts more tears to spring forward and despite your best efforts to fight them off, it’s useless. You manage to whisper his name. It’s a feeble warning, one that’s telling him to go back inside before he’s caught in the torrential downpour of emotions you are mere seconds away from unleashing on him.

But he doesn’t budge. He waits. Joel knows you’re about to break and he’s ready to catch the pieces.

Finally, a tear slips and rolls down your cheek, only to be followed by another and then another. You’re holding onto the swing for dear life now, emotions that you’ve been holding in for your whole life now coming to the surface. The rope digs painfully into the palms of your hands. He reaches out and curls his fingers lightly around your wrists.

“S’okay to let go,” Joel encourages you and you’re certain he’s not just referring to the swing. “Listen to me, darlin’ girl. I ain’t gonna let you fall, alright? I’m right here to catch you. You can let go. I’ve got you, okay?”

You allow Joel to take your hands off the rope and he guides them around his shoulders as you begin to crumble. Leaning forward slightly off the swing, you wrap you arms around him and bury your face into his neck. “Joel,” you choke out his name as he wraps his own arms around your waist, pulling you closer into him.

He feels like stability.

He feels like security.

He feels like safety.

Your entire body shudders as you cry, cry, cry.

“S’alright, sweet girl. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

He repeats his reassurance over and over again.

He wants you to believe it.

And you do believe it.

Joel’s as patient as can be. It’s growing colder and his knees are begging for a change of positon, but couldn’t care less about the discomfort. He rubs a soothing circle into your back and waits until there is nothing left except little hiccups and sniffles.

“Shit,” you mumble when you pull back and notice you’d left behind a wet spot on his shirt along with light traces of mascara. You wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. “I ruined your shirt.”

“S’okay. Nothin’ the dry cleaners can’t take care of for me.” Joel chuckles and lets go of you. “You feel a little better now, darlin’?”

“I do.” You glance over your shoulder at the house, then exhale a sigh and turn back to him, admitting quietly, “I don’t want to go back in there, though.”

He rises to his feet and pulls out a set of keys from the pocket of his black jeans. “Well, y’dont have to go back in there,” he states. “Is there somewhere I can take you? Friend’s house, maybe?”

“My best friend Megan went to Puerto Vallarta for Thanksgiving. Most of my other friends left Austin like I did,” you explain, sighing again. “Anyone who didn’t leave is spending their time with their family tonight and I don’t want to bother them.”

Joel hums, mulling it over in his mind. “Well, don’t know how comfortable you’ll be with the idea, but my place ain’t all too far from here. Ten minutes or so. Less if there’s no one out on the roads.”

“Joel, that’s so nice of you to offer, but I’ve already ruined your dinner tonight. The last thing I want to do is put you out even more,” you say, sheepishly.

“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin a fuckin’ thing for me tonight. And you wouldn’t be puttin’ me out at all,” he promises. “S’gettin’ late and truth be told, I just wanna get you somewhere warm.” Holding out his free hand, he adds, “And comfortable.”

“But Joel—”

“I can be real stubborn too, y’know,” he teases you with a playful grin. “We’ll be out here all night long freezin’ our fuckin’ asses off.”

He isn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Okay,” you relent, accepting the offer.

You place your hand in his and he helps you off the swing. He doesn’t let it go as he leads the way to a sleek, black Dodge Ram that’s parked behind your grandfather’s silver Mercedes. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze before dropping it. “Sorry, sweet girl. It’s a bit of a trip up into the seat,” he remarks, chuckling as he opens the passenger side door for you. He gives you a boost into the truck; the scent of new leather is mixed with that of his cologne. It is all man and couldn’t be sexier. “Good up there?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Joel closes the door and hurriedly walks around to the driver’s side of the pickup, climbing up into his seat with ease. “Seatbelt,” he tells you as he sticks the key into the ignition. The first thing he does as soon as the engine roars to life is turn on your seat warmer. He switches on the heater as well, waiting a minute before asking, “You warm enough?”

“I am. Thank you, Joel.”

“‘Course.” He nods and pulls away from the curb.

As Joel’s driving you further and further from your parents’ house, all you feel is sweet relief.

“M’sorry the place is such a mess.”

Joel leads you into his living room and touches his hand to the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Amused, you raise an eyebrow at him and say, “I’d hardly call cardboard boxes stacked neatly over on one side of the room a mess, Joel.” You take a look around his townhouse—most of his furniture’s still wrapped up in plastic, except for the black leather couch and the rustic, acacia wood coffee table. He has a flat screen mounted over the brick fireplace; he’s been sleeping on the couch, or at least, that’s what the pillow and Texas Longhorns fleece throw tells you. You turn to him. “If you want to see a real mess, you should see my apartment in Chicago.”

You watch him as he takes off his glasses and puts them down on the coffee table.

“S’it pretty bad?”

“My roommate’s a kindergarten teacher too. You’d be surprised at how many popsicle sticks two girls in their twenties can end up bringing home. Not to mention all the glitter.”

“If you’re tryin’ to make me feel better, it’s workin’ like a charm.” Joel picks up his blanket and drapes it over the armchair adjacent to the couch. “Go on and make yourself comfortable, darlin’. You thirsty at all? I’ve got water or I can make coffee. Also got a pack of beer in the fridge,” he adds, jokingly.

“What kind of beer?” you ask curiously as you sink down onto the couch.

He seems pleasantly surprised by your interest.

“Lone Star.”

“I’ll have one. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“‘Course it’s not too much trouble. Not at all.”

It’s hard not to stare as he walks away towards the kitchen. Your thighs clench together—his back, his shoulders, those unkempt salt and pepper curls of his that tuft at the nape of his neck right above his collar—this man is the epitome of utter perfection. Your mind wanders and you can’t help imagine the way your legs would look thrown over those broad shoulders. How his large hands would feel on your plush skin as they wrap around your thighs to hold them in place against his chest while he fucks y—

“Here you go, darlin’.”

Joel’s deep voice shatters your train of thought.

He’s standing beside you, holding out the bottle of beer, which he’d uncapped along with his own.

Blood rushes to your cheeks. “Thank you,” you say as you accept the beer from him, trying not to lose the sliver of composure that you’re holding onto—it wavers when your fingers accidentally brush his.

“S’it too cold in here for you?” he asks. “I normally keep the thermostat pretty low.”

“It’s a little cold,” you admit. “But it’s not a prob—”

It’s too late. Joel walks over to the fireplace and he manages to strike a match and light it with just his free hand. After tossing in a couple logs, he makes his way back over to the couch and he takes a seat beside you. “That a bit better, sweetheart?”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

He shrugs. “You said it was cold.”

He takes a long, generous swig of the golden lager before setting the bottle down on one of the green ceramic coasters on the coffee table. He sits back; an arm stretches out over the back of the couch in a casual manner and his legs spread open causing your thighs to clench together once more.

“You feelin’ alright?”

“Huh?” You then realize he is referring to what had happened at dinner. “Oh. Um. Yeah, I’m alright.”

Joel peers at you, his concern evident, clear in the depths of his dark brown eyes. “You sure?”

“No. Not really,” you confess, tracing the mouth of your bottle with your index finger. “But I’ll get over it. I don’t have a choice but to get over it.” Another lump starts forming in the back of your throat and you swallow it, quickly chasing it down with a gulp of beer.

“M’guessin’ your family’s got somethin’ to do with why you decided to leave Austin?”

“Bingo,” you deadpan. “I was so sick and tired of it all. How I was talked to, how I was treated. Like I’m such a fucking disappointment.”

He frowns. “You’re not a disappointment, though.”

“My parents think I’m a disappointment. My dad’s never told me he’s proud of me, Joel. Nothing I do, nothing I have ever done is good enough for either of them, but especially not for him.” There is a dull ache that settles in your heart and all you can do is silently will yourself not to breakdown again, not in front of him, at least. You sigh. “Do you know what it’s like, not feeling good enough for someone that is supposed to love you no matter what? Someone who’s supposed to love you unconditionally?”

Joel knows it’s a rhetorical question, he knows it’s not something you’re expecting him to answer.

But he does answer, because he does know.

“I do, actually. I know all too well what it feels like.”

He looks down at his left hand, which is resting on his thigh and you do too. Your eyes flicker over the fading tanline on his finger—where he once wore a wedding band. You don’t even think twice about it and reach over, sweeping your own finger over the patch of pale skin. Without missing a beat, you tell him, “You’re good enough, Joel.”

He can’t help but laugh a little. “She’d disagree.”

“She’s wrong.”

“You don’t know what happened.”

“I don’t have to know what happened.”

“That ain’t how it works, sweetheart.”

Stubbornly, you lift your chin. “I don’t care.”

Joel laughs. “Y’think you know me, darlin’? Y’think you know what kinda man I am? Hm?”

“I do know.” You place your hand on top of his and his jaw clenches. “You’re a good man, Joel Miller. I know that you’re a good man.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong ‘bout that.” There’s a brief pause and he hesitates before confessing, “A good man wouldn’t be sittin’ here just fuckin’ dyin’ to kiss his best friend’s daughter.”

You freeze and grip your bottle so tight, you would not be the slightest bit surprised if it shatters right in your hand. “You—you want to kiss me?”

“Since the moment you opened up that front door and said hello to me.” Joel shakes his head. “S’not right.” He’s riddled with guilt, with shame. He pulls his hand out from under yours. “I ain’t a good man at all. You’re half my fuckin’ age and I shouldn’t—”

You cut him off, softly uttering his name. “Joel?”

“Yeah?” His voice sounds hoarse. Strained.

“Can you—will you kiss me? Please?”

You need more than just his kiss, so much more.

You need him to unravel you in every way possible, but beggars can’t be choosers and if one kiss was all you’ll get tonight, then you’ll fucking take it.

Joel swallows dryly. “That really what you want?”

His eyes flicker down to your lips and then back to meet your sweet, innocent gaze.

“Yes,” you breathe in reply. “Please. Kiss me.”

He leans in, and there’s brief hesitation on his part and he stops mere centimeters from your face, his nose lightly brushing against yours. “We shouldn’t be doin’ this.” His warm breath fans over your lips; they’re parted, eager to meet his own. “I shouldn’t let this happen. I—I should take you back home to your family before I do somethin’ real stupid.”

Your heart sinks. “That really what you want?” you parrot his own question back to him and hold your breath, knowing there’s a chance his answer could be the answer that you don’t want to hear, the one that could end up crushing you.

Joel lifts his hand, cupping the side of your face in his palm. “‘Course it’s not what I want.” His thumb strokes your cheek, his dark eyes taking in each of your features. He’s studying, memorizing them, as if he’ll never get another chance to be this close to you again. With the line he’s about to cross, you’re both about to cross, that just might be the case.

The tension seeps through your skin and into your bones.

You exhale shakily. “Then just kiss me already.”

He moves his hand and gently curls it around your chin, holding you steady as he leans further in and closes the gap of space in between you. He moves slowly and he’s gentle—too gentle. You want to tell him you’re not made of porcelain, but you’re much too preoccupied with how Joel’s mouth feels, how perfectly it molds against yours. He delicately nips your bottom lip with his teeth. It’s a silent request.

He wants more, more, more. Your lips part for him, granting him the access he’s seeking. Joel doesn’t waste a single moment and he explores every inch of your mouth with his tongue, eliciting a whimper from you. Without breaking contact, he takes your beer and somehow he manages to lean over to set it down on the coffee table without dropping it. He then pushes you back into the couch and the next thing you know, you’re lying on your back and he’s settled in between your legs, using one of his arms to keep himself propped up, while the other wraps itself in your hair. Your own hands clutch at fistfuls of his shirt, fingers gripping the fabric so tight, the skin over your knuckles stretches painfully thin.

You whimper out again, the noise prompting a low growl to rumble through his chest—suddenly, he’s not being so gentle. He isn’t being rough. But he is hungry, he’s possessive, and he’s letting it show in the way he’s swelling your lips with his kisses, how his fingers are gripping the hair at the base of your neck as he firmly tilts your head backwards to give himself better access to your mouth.

Your mind is racing, and yet, you can’t think at all.

It’s not until his hips buck into you and you feel his bulge through his jeans against you that you break away from him. “Joel,” you gasp his out name. You grip his shirt even harder, chest heaving as you try to catch a much needed breath of air. You can feel the arousal pooling between your legs. The flames burning in the fireplace are nothing in comparison to the ones that are burning deep in your belly.

“Fuck,” he curses, pulling back. “M’sorry—”

The last thing you want is for him to be sorry.

“No! Please don’t be sorry,” you rasp, gazing up at him. Your eyes are glazed over with a lust you have never felt for another man before. “I want this, you know I want this—don’t you?”

Joel sighs, brushing a soft kiss to your temple. You wish he could take a peek into your mind, see how badly you want to be wrapped up in his arms—you want to get lost in his embrace, feel him all around you, inside you. You want him to write his name on your bare skin with his tongue, whisper his secrets into the spot where you’re aching for him most.

He sighs again and lightly shakes his head.

“Baby, y’need to think real hard ‘bout this—”

“I want this,” you repeat yourself. “I want you.”

Relaxing the death grip you have on his shirt, your hands release the fabric and move to the buttons. Your fingers tremble slightly as you undo each one of them; after an embarrassing fumble or two, you manage to get them all and push Joel’s shirt off of his shoulders. He sucks in a quick, sharp breath as your greedy hands begin roaming, exploring every inch of smooth, tan skin on his upper body.

Your touch erases all the uncertainty he’s feeling.

“Wanna feel you too, baby.” Joel takes the hem of your sweater and gestures for you to sit up slightly so he can pull it over your head. Carelessly tossing it somewhere behind him, he glances down, blood rushing to his cock as he takes in the sight of your supple curves clad in sweet, delicate white lace. “Christ, you look so fuckin’ soft.”

He doesn’t even realize he’s saying it out loud, not until he catches the flirtatious little grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. You sit up slightly once again and reach behind you to unhook the lingerie and take it off, adding it to the ever growing pile of clothes on the hardwood floor. Licking his lips, he meets your gaze for just a moment before dipping his head down, wrapping them around one of your hardened nipples. “Joel,” you mewl his name as he flicks the pebbled flesh with his tongue.

Joel releases it with a lewd, wet pop and he tosses you a smirk before he moves to the other to give it the same attention. He’s a biter, you find out as he takes it between his teeth, nipping over and over.

Your throbbing center clenches around nothing.

“Joel, please. I need you—I fucking need you.”

He tears away from your nipple. “Where, baby?”

You open your mouth to answer him, but your own gasp cuts you off as he starts trailing his lips down the length of your body until he comes to a stop at the waistband of your skirt. One of his hands finds the zipper on the side and he looks up at you, as if asking for permission. Desperate, you nod. Pulling the zipper down, he slides the skirt, along with the pair of lace white panties you’re wearing off of you and discards them, leaving you completely naked.

Your insecurities begin to trickle in, but Joel’s able to halt them right in their tracks.

“You’re too fuckin’ beautiful, sweetheart,” he says, his reassurance calming your nerves instantly. “So beautiful. So beautiful and so fuckin’ perfect.”

You watch as he makes himself comfortable—well as comfortable as he can—in between your legs. He shoots you a sheepish look.

“Knew I should’a put the damn bed together. But I been puttin’ it off and puttin’ it off all week long.”

You giggle breathlessly. “Who needs a bed?”

Chuckling, Joel feathers a kiss on your inner thigh.

Your smile is all but slapped right off of your face.

“Joel.”

Any traces of humor vanish. You’re both reminded of the next wall that’s about to be broken, the next line that’s about to be crossed.

He looks down and groans. “Such a pretty, perfect little pussy,” he remarks, his voice low, husky. “Bet she’s nice and wet for me, ain’t she baby?” He lifts his hand and drags the tip of his finger up your slit slowly, your slick coating his digit. He smirks up at you. “Oh, she’s fuckin’ soakin’, sweet girl. S’this all for me?”

Foreplay wasn’t in the vocabulary of guys your age and while part of you wishes Joel would hurry, you also find yourself enjoying the fact that he’s taking his time, teasing you—making you really want it to the point where you’re willing to fucking plead him for it. Joel Miller’s the only man you’d ever beg for.

He skims your other thigh with his nose and kisses it just like he’d done with the other. “Tell me darlin’ s’this where you need me? Right here?”

Frantically, you nod your head.

“Words, honey. Gotta use your words for me.”

“Yes!” you choke out. “That’s where I need you. So bad. Need you so fucking bad. Please Daddy—”

You freeze and momentarily, he does too. Truth be told, you wouldn’t really blame him if he just stood up, gathered your clothes and tossed them at you, demanding you put them back on and leave.

Joel raises an eyebrow. “Daddy, huh?”

Your face is on fire. “I—it slipped,” you stammer. “I didn’t mean to call you—I’m so sorry, Joel. I’m not even sure where that came from. I’ve never—”

You’re on the verge of panicking, then notice there is a certain glimmer in his eyes and realize he liked it when you’d called him that. You’re taken aback.

He fucking likes being called Daddy.

“Sweetheart, there ain’t nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. I promise. You can call me that. But on a condition.”

You stare at him, no idea what the condition could possibly be.

“Ain’t allowed to call anyone else that. Ever.” There is a possessiveness in his tone and it nearly makes you come on the spot. “That understood?”

You nod obediently. “Yes.”

“Yes what?” he prompts.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good. That’s a real good girl, honey.”

For a split second, you can’t breathe.

This man will surely be the death of you.

Joel plants one final kiss, this one on your mound.

“Please,” you whimper, the heat in your lower belly growing and fizzling out to the rest of your body at the feeling of his breath over your aching core.

“Please what?” he murmurs into the sensitive skin as his arms curl around your legs. “Tell Daddy—tell Daddy what you need baby, so he can take care of you.”

“Your mouth,” you beg him, desperation mounting with each passing second. Your hips buck upward; his biceps flex as he tightens his arms around your thighs, pinning you down in place. “Your mouth—I need your mouth. Please.”

Joel moves his head to the junction of your thighs, his mouth hovering right over where you needed it the most. He looks up at you with hunger, like he’s a ravenous, starved man who hasn’t had a thing to eat in days. “What a good girl,” he praises, dipping his head even lower. His mouth waters at the sight of your glistening folds. “Bet you taste as delicious as you fuckin’ look, don’t you, pretty girl?”

He flattens his tongue and glides it up your slit, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he gets his first taste. You gasp out when it grazes your swollen, aroused clit and your head falls back onto the couch. “Oh fuck,” you whine, reaching for his hair. You weave your hands through his graying locks and pull his face closer. Another swipe of his tongue causes your back to arch up off the leather and the edges of your vision to blur.

He pulls an arm from around your legs and drags a finger down your drenched entrance, lips securing themselves around your clit. His gaze stays locked on you as he pushes his long, thick digit into you—you feel him smirk as he curls it upwards, pressing the pad of his finger firmly against the soft spongy spot inside you, making you see stars. Joel slips in a second finger and curls it along with the other to double the pleasure. He begins thrusting his digits in and out of your warm cunt, eliciting what had to be the sweetest sounds that he’d ever heard in his entire life from you. He combines it with with slow, firm, and precise stokes of his tongue on your clit.

“Fuck, yes, just like that,” you encourage him, your loud, breathy moans bouncing off the bare, freshly painted walls of his house. “Yes Daddy, fuck—feels so fucking good, please don’t fucking stop—”

It’s not like you have to tell him what to do.

Joel knows exactly what he’s doing, and he knows it too. He listens to every single one of your moans and feels every single buck of your hips. He is sure to pay extra attention to when your hands pull and tug at his curls; he remembers what combinations of licking, sucking, and fucking make you squeeze your plush thighs tighter around his head; reminds himself of which technique brings your body off of the couch, what makes your toes curl. Joel’s quick to learn your body’s cues, each and every last one. He already knows when to give you more, when to give you less—when he needs speed up, when it is time to slow it all down.

You sing his name over and over again, pressure of an orgasm already building between your hips. His tongue swirls around your sensitive little bundle of nerves as his fingers pump in and out of your cunt and you glance down. You almost choke when you catch a tiny glimpse of the muscles in his forearm, the way they flex underneath his skin with each of his movements as he’s fucking you. Your gaze flits to his face. His own eyes are fixed intently on you.

You’re milliseconds away from release.

“Joel, I’m so fucking close. I’m gonna come—”

His arm squeezes your thigh in encouragement.

One last, broad stroke of Joel’s tongue on your clit sends an overwhelming wave of pleasure crashing over you. Strangled cries tear themselves from the back of your throat as your velvet walls flutter and convulse, squeezing his fingers. Joel, who’s face is still half buried in your pussy, takes it upon himself to help you ride through the high. He peppers soft, delicate kisses onto your swollen clit as his fingers continue to slide in and out of you slowly. He waits patiently until your loud cries dissolve into nothing but breathless little whimpers before he crawls up, positioning himself on top of you, a hand on either side of your head. His beard and mustache glisten with a mixture of saliva and slick—and somehow it it ignites another fire and you’re ready for more, so much more.

“Sweet girl,” Joel murmurs. Leaning down, his lips meet yours and you taste yourself on his tongue

You place a hand on his chest, right over his heart, which beats strong and steady against your palm.

You start dragging your hand down his chest, your fingernails raking over his skin. It travels lower and lower, gliding over the softness of his stomach. He tenses when you brush the waistband of his jeans.

Tearing away from you, he grits out, “Baby. No.”

You immediately snatch your hand away from him.

“You changed your mind?” you question, stomach sinking at the thought of it being over already.

You’re just so fucking greedy for this man.

He offers reassurance—and an explanation.

“No, that ain’t it at all. S’just—” Joel pauses briefly and flushes a shade of red. “S’just that, well, I ain’t got condoms on me, darlin’.”

Relieved, you assure him, “It’s okay. I’m clean.”

“Me too. But that ain’t what I’m worried about,” he admits, his face going from red to maroon.

You smile, finding his embarrassment endearing.

“I’m on birth control.”

Joel clenches his hands into fists. His cock strains against his zipper at the thought of it—taking your cunt bare. “Y’sure you want this?” He rasps out. “I need you to be a hundred percent sure ‘bout it.”

“I’m a thousand percent sure, Joel. I fucking need it. More than anything I’ve ever needed in my life.”

That’s all he needed to hear.

Joel stands up, his gaze never leaving your own as he kicks off his black leather boots. You sit up, and it takes every ounce of strength you have in you to remain composed as he unbuckles his belt, unzips his jeans and pushes them down his legs. You bite down on your bottom lip and try not to stare at his bulge like it’s your first time ever seeing a dick, but if he’s as big as he looks in his boxer briefs, maybe this would end up being a lot more than what your body could handle.

He hooks his thumbs underneath the elastic of his boxer briefs and slides them off, allowing his thick, hard cock to spring free from its confinement.

You swallow harshly. He’s fucking massive.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” Joel chuckles at the expression on your face as he kicks aside all of his clothes. His length rests on his lower abdomen and precome smears the skin there. Wrapping one of his hands around it, he gives it a couple strokes, just a hint of relief until you come into play. “Hm?”

Licking your lips, you nod and stand up. You take a couple of wobbling step towards him—Joel’s cock hasn’t been anywhere near you and you’re already fucking walking side to side. “Come here,” you say to him, taking both his hands in your own. You pull him back to the couch and gently guide him down into a sitting position. Swinging your leg over both of his, you straddle his lap. You gingerly place your hands on his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh softly when you feel him brush against your pussy; the contact makes you both moan in unsion. “This okay?” you ask him, breathily. You can’t be sure as to why you’re suddenly feeling a bit shy, like you’re not planning to ride his fucking soul out of him.

“More than okay.” Joel brushes your hair over your shoulder and then drags his hand down the length of your body, committing to his memory every one of your curves. “Gonna be a real good girl and ride my cock, baby?”

You gift him with a cheeky grin. “Yes, Daddy.”

The shyness begins to dissipate and you dive your hand between your bodies, wrapping it around his cock, causing his breath to catch in his throat. You lift yourself slightly off his lap, teasingly gliding the head of his cock down your drenched slit, then up, letting it graze over your clit, which is still senstive to the touch thanks to his lips and tongue.

Joel’s hands find their way around you, running up the curve of your spine. “Wasn’t aware that my girl was such a little fuckin’ tease,” he remarks in a low tone. He slides his hands back down and his large, warm palms cup your ass, fingers kneading flesh.

“Your girl?” you repeat, your heart skipping a beat, stomach fluttering at the idea of being his. “Is that what I am to you, Joel? Your girl?”

“S’that what you want, honey?” Joel whispers, his eyes finding your own, two hopeful gazes meeting in the deepest, most intimate moment that you’ve shared all evening. “Y’wanna be my girl?”

Leaning forward, your reply is preceded by kiss, so soft and so sweet his heart swells inside his chest.

“I do,” you mumble against his lips. “I really do.”

Still gripping your ass, Joel eases you up and lines himself up at your entrance. He bucks his hips and slides the head of his cock past your folds and into your heat. “Breathe, baby,” he whispers, his hands moving to your hips, thumbs grazing your skin. He slowly guides you further down his shaft, grunting as you sink down, taking him inch by inch. “Christ, you’re so goddamn fuckin’ tight—”

The initial stretch is almost too much for you. Your nails sink deeper into his shoulders as he pulls you down further down onto him. “Joel,” you whimper, biting back a loud cry. You’re fully seated, his cock completely sheathed inside you, his head pressing against your cervix. You’re so full of him.

One of his hands abandons your hip and slips over your lower belly.

“This where you’re feelin’ me, pretty girl?” he coos gently. “This where you feel Daddy’s cock? In your belly?”

“Yes,” you sigh out contentedly. “Feels so good.”

You lift yourself off of him, then slide back down in a slow, languid motion.

Joel’s head falls back onto the couch. “Christ.” He mutters the word, his chest heaving. Staring up at the ceiling, he takes a moment to catch his breath and silently wills himself not to explode. Once he’s managed to somewhat compose himself, he looks at you again, pupils blown so wide you can’t find a single trace of brown. “Go on, then,” he rasps. “Go on, sweetheart.”

The living room fills with the sounds of low moans and panting breaths as you move, alternating your maneuvers between rocking and bouncing on him in a frenzied, fast paced rhythm. The friction of his pelvis each time you grind into it winds up the coil between your hips and suddenly you’re desperate, so pathetically desperate for another release.

“Yeah, that’s it baby,” Joel encourages, feeling the beginning of his own climax building quick—much too quick for his liking. “Jus’ like that, honey. What a good girl you are for me, so fuckin’ good for me. Just like I fuckin’ knew you would be.”

“Fuck,” you whine. “You feel so good, Daddy. Feel so fucking good inside me—”

Leaning back, you firmly plant both your hands on his thighs and arch your body, head falling back as you pick up the pace. The burning fire casts a soft, orange glow around you and his jaw falls slack. His eyes drink in every single fucking thing about you, watch you with an adoration that, for the first time in your whole life, makes you feel wanted. Actually wanted.

“Joel,” you whisper his name over and over. You’re both beginning to lose track of where you end and he begins. You can hardly hear the praises that are spilling from his plush lips over the squelching wet sounds of your cunt sliding up and down his cock. There’s no chance to warn him—your mouth parts in a silent scream as you come undone on him.

“M’so fuckin’ close,” Joel grunts. He feels his cock twitch as your pussy grips him like a vice. “Where? Where do you want it, pretty girl?”

“Inside me. Please, I need you to come inside me,” you plead him, the innocent tone of your voice the last thing to push him over the edge he’s teetering on. “Fill me up, Daddy—please, want every drop of you inside me—”

Joel reaches for your arms and yanks you forward, into him. Throwing them around his neck, his own arms wrap around you and roughly slam you down onto him, holding you firmly in place. He bucks his hips upwards, balls tightening, his cock pulsing as he comes. Strings of hissed curse words and deep gutteral groans muffle when he drops his face into your collarbone. Still holding you in place, he spills his load into you, his seed filling you to the brim.

He sags back against the couch and pulls you with him. Wrapping his arms tighter around you, he lets himself stay buried inside of you, the primal in him relishing the heavenly feeling of his come dripping messily out of your pussy and all over his thighs.

“You alright, sweetheart?” he asks after a minute.

“M’perfect,” you mumble against his chest. You’re not sure if it’s because you’re coming down from a high or if it’s because he’s tracing patterns on your shoulder blade with his finger, but you shiver in his arms.

“Let me get the blanket—”

Joel starts to move to get up, but you stop him.

“No, please don’t,” you say, pushing him back. You put all of your weight onto him, as if he can’t move you off to the side if he really wanted to. “I—I want you inside me for a little while longer. Please.”

“But baby, you’re cold—”

You don’t bother explaining to him that you’re not.

“Just hold me. Please.”

And that’s exactly what he does.

Snuggling into him, you close your eyes and Joel’s hand strokes at your hair. Between that, the thrum of his heartbeat against your cheek and the sound of the fireplace crackling behind you, you’re nearly soothed into sleep.

“Joel?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“I hate Thanksgiving,” you admit, smiling tiredly to yourself when you feel a laugh rumble in his chest.

“Do you, now?”

You nod. “I do. But I’m really thankful for you.”

Giving you a gentle squeeze, Joel kisses the top of your head and murmurs, “Well, m’thankful for you too, sweet girl.” He pauses momentarily. “I ain’t all too sure how I’m s’pposed to just let you go home. I know I have to but—”

Lifting your head off of his chest, you take the side of his face and cradle it in your palm. You meet his gaze, heart sinking when you see the sadness that has replaced the lust from earlier.

He doesn’t mean home to your parents’ house. He means Chicago.

You graze his beard with your thumb. “I’m coming back in a few weeks,” you remind him, gently. “I’ve only planned to spend a week out here just for the holidays, but I can visit sooner. As soon as the kids go on winter break, I can come back to Austin.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would, Joel. I’m not sure how it would work what with my parents and all, though. I don’t want them catching onto us.”

“C’mere.” Joel brushes your lips with his before he makes his promise. “I’ll figure it out, baby. Leave it all to me and I’ll figure it out.”

divider credit to @saradika-graphics 🤎

#asdfghjkl BYE #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #dbf!joel #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel tlou #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller x y/n #joel miller au #dbf joel miller #dbf joel x reader #fic: someone to be thankful for

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pedgito · 1 year

Note

okay i had this idea of eddie and reader fucking in a closet or an enclosed space of some kind yk being real sneaky and shit. and the reader lets him finish in their mouth. then he kisses the reader with his cum in his mouth bc he nasty like that. sorry if this was a really specific request it’s been sitting in my brain for ages.

author’s note: full warning, if this grosses you out, don’t read. and i don’t want to hear how much you don’t like it in my inbox because i don’t care lol. but for those of you that do read this, enjoy my nasty eddie thoughts.

cw: 18+ (minors dni) semi-public (in a closet), voyeurism (if you squint), oral (m receiving), fluid play/bonding (idk they share eddie’s jizz yeah), established relationship, eddie is v gross but we love that shit, if i missed anything lmk

word count: 1.7k

Eddie didn’t do parties, ever. It was just another spectacle and a place for him to be laughed at, wondering who invited the freak to drink and kill the vibe—but for you, he endures it. That and everyone knows to keep their mouth shut around you. It’s nice, Eddie can admit that—but it’s also damn near impossible for him to keep his hands off of you in public, not that you had a problem with it.

Dating Eddie hit you completely out of nowhere, ending up in an after school detention with him that left very little to be discovered about each other, both in your likes and dislikes, but also your bodies.

And so what if you fucked Eddie with only one twenty minute conversation under your belt—he was levels above most of the guys you fucked, even if he was a little bit inexperienced in the beginning.

He’s more surprised at how easily your perfect persona is tarnished in front of him—good grades, nice friends, always smiling at everyone who walks by. You were never mean to anyone, which is why no one ever said shit when you started your mornings cuddled up to Eddie at his locker.

They could look and stare, but no one dared to comment on it.

Eddie’s quick to feed into it, openly kissing you in the halls, grabbing at your ass under the short confines of your skirt or tight jeans—it would emit a few groans, but you didn’t care.

Not for a second.

He’s insatiable, really—and nasty to the core. You never really expected to like it as much as you did, settling for missionary and doggy style in most of your hook-ups, minimal eye contact, and getting straight to the point; not to say you didn’t enjoy it, but with Eddie, it’s kismet.

You could never say no.

“Hey, hey,” You murmur against his lips, his hands blindly reaching for the doorknob to shove you into Steve Harrinton’s bedroom, leaving the door open just a crack, “we can leave if you want—do you wanna leave?”

“Mmm,” Eddie shakes his head, breathing hotly against your mouth, “don’t think I can wait that long, wanna fuck you right now.”

You giggle softly, arms wrapped around his neck as he hoists you up, licking into your mouth with the same edge of depravity he always carried, growling lowly. His hands slip past the waistband of your jeans, contacting the bare skin underneath.

“No panties,” Eddie notes, “dirty girl.”

“Do you expect anything less?” You tease, squealing softly as he buries his face into your neck, nipping at the skin.

But, the loud ramblings of another pair of bodies stumbling down the hall has you both in a panic—Eddie nearly shuts the door close, but you’re hopping off of him to pull him into the closet before he can act, sliding the slatted, wooden doors close, leaving little light to leak through.

You force your hand over Eddie’s mouth, his features barely visible aside from the tiny spec of light that hits his face from the lamp on the table beside the closet. He blinks, confused.

It doesn’t take long for you both to realize that it’s Steve—and some girl you’ve only talked to a few times at school, who seemed a lot more familiar with Steve than you expect, hands reaching under waistband of his boxers from where his jeans hang open loosely, you avert your eyes quickly, connecting with Eddie’s.

He’s got that ridiculous smirk on his face, having caught you in the act of peeping, shifting the closet door shut tight—no more peeking on his account. His hands keep busy, whether on your neck, your breasts, over the expanse of your back, just touching because he wanted to—but you can feel how impatient he’s being, hard in his jeans from where’s pressed up against you in the small space.

“We can’t,” You whisper softly, feeling Eddie’s hands squeeze at the slope of your ass, pulling you in closer, “Eddie, I’m serious.”

“It’s Steve,” He murmurs, lips connecting with your neck briefly, “he won’t even know.”

Eddie was right—but the hesitation was still there.

“I’m not letting you fuck me in a closet,” You force out in a hushed whisper, “get over yourself.”

Eddie chuckles lightly, fumbling with the front of his pants carefully, mouth still busy against your skin, “Never said anything about that, but if I need to find a way to keep that mouth occupied, I can think of a few.”

You look at him sternly—Eddie can faintly read your expression, smiling confidently as his belt jingles quietly, slow to unzip his jeans.

“Because as much as I love to hear you talk, that mouth is good at other things,” Eddie says knowingly, “unless, of course, you’d rather watch Steve—“

“Fuck off.” You mutter, sinking to your knees with ease, yanking Eddie’s jeans down his hips impatiently and reaching under his boxers for his cock with a ferocity that has Eddie feeling for the walls, hands coming up to brace himself.

“Jesus,” He grunts softly, your grip tightening around the soft, velvet skin, his cock thickening to full hardness under your touch, “—a little warning next time, sweetheart.”

You scoff lightly at that, the deep hum of the music traveling upstairs and under the gap of Steve’s bedroom door—it didn’t help drowning out the sounds of Steve and the girl only a few feet away, but it did help muffle the sounds of Eddie, who couldn’t help his noise level when your mouth finally closes around his cock.

You lick at the tip slowly, right along the slit until Eddie’s reaching for your head, hand squeezing at the root of your hair. Eddie never tried to be soft, or caring—he always was regardless, but he was also just as intense.

“Fuck, take it, baby—“ He pushes a little deeper, forcing you to inhale on the push, moaning against him, “oh, fuck—“

It was easy to wreck Eddie’s ego, watch it come crashing to the ground every time you touched him. You bob your head with his movements, slowly until he’s holding you still, rocking his hips into your mouth with harsh, precise thrusts—fucking your mouth just like he would your pussy, reminding you just how devastating it was that he couldn’t have you right now.

There’s a creak on the bed that has you two pausing your movements, mouth still fully engulfing Eddie’s dick as footsteps approach. Eddie’s thumb pressing at your cheek gently, rubbing in small, comforting circles—almost a way to soothe or ease your worry.

“Hurry.” The girl giggles, followed by Steve’s ruffling through the drawers of the table placed beside the closet.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.”

And the double entendre of it has both you and Eddie forcing a laugh back down.

When Steve finally retreats a safe distance you feel Eddie rub at your jaw, urging you to continue.

You double down, shifting down to mouth at his balls, the weight heavy against your tongue as you swirl it gently over the skin—Eddie raises his fist in silence, biting down to stifle the filthy groan that almost escapes. It’s the easiest way to fuck with him, knowing how much he liked it—and you don’t stop.

Your hand pumps steadily, stopping to squeeze at the head occasionally, smearing the precum over the head and down, the friction unbearable as you made it your absolute mission to make Eddie come—fast and hard.

It doesn’t take long before he’s grunting softly, yanking gently at your head to pull you away.

“Need somewhere,” Eddie begs, “Steve’ll never forgive me if I use his shirt to clean up my jizz, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know,” You tease, “think it’s kinda hot, actually.”

It would’ve been easier for him to ask to come in your mouth, but that was a little too straightforward—he didn’t do it often, mostly because things would’ve led to sex by now, but it’s still one of his favorite things, your eyes wide and attentive on his face as he cums, thinking he might actually pass out from the feeling of it all.

“Your mouth, baby,” He finally says, voice strained, clearly holding himself back, “god, let me cum in your mouth, please.”

You smile widely, despite how hard it is to make it out in the poor lighting and nod, which he does feel.

You close your mouth over the tip, feeling his hand leave your hair to tug at his dick, jerking himself off with fervor, breathing harshly through his nose.

“I’m gonna come,” He forces out in a hushed tone, giving you the small warning you need to pull back, tongue pressed against the underside of his cock, as he lets out a litany of curses, “fuckfuckfuck—“ in the same deep tone that makes your thighs clench together harder, reminding you how greatly you were lacking his touch.

You flinch when the warmth of it hits your mouth, warm and pooling in the dip of your tongue as Eddie tries his best to suppress his groans, squeezing himself until there’s nothing left, the head of his cock dragging against your lips as he pulls away—your immediate instinct is to swallow, rid yourself of the musky taste and find the best route of escape, but Eddie stops you.

“Come here,” He urges, letting him pull you up, your face tilting in his grip as he closes your mouth with his thumb, rubbing the underside of your chin, “—how does it taste?”

You raise your eyebrows expectantly, gesturing to him before opening your mouth, beckoning him to get a taste—and Eddie’s never shied away from things like this, always willing to try things at least once. So, he does, his tongue dipping into your mouth quickly, the taste of him lingering between you two briefly as you hurried to swallow the rest.

“Dirty,” He repeats his earlier sentiment against your lips, “—fuck, if I didn’t like you so much I would never do shit like that.”

You giggle quietly, reaching up to press a gentle kiss against his lips, “I know.”

And you can say that with full confidence, because it’s true.

“Now, how do we get out of here?”

You shrug, “Don’t know—but, I got something that’ll keep you busy, if you want.”

Eddie was more than eager to please.

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson blurb #my writing

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trsrina · 11 months

Text

zerobaseone maknae line reactions to when you indirectly kiss

gn reader, f2l? crush au? kinda idk, fluff wc: ~1.6k

!! mentions of food, not proofread

ricky

- you and ricky are close friends but there’s that underlying tension that wasn’t left unnoticed by everyone around you

- ricky is so obviously in love with and you are so obviously in love with him too, just both of you not daring to do anything about it

- one hot summer day, you and ricky went to get ice cream and although ‘young and rich’ insisted to pay for your ice cream, you convinced him to buy the two scoop ice cream and share it bc it was cheaper than placing two separate orders for one scoop of ice cream each

- ricky chose strawberry ofc and you chose your favourite flavour. your ice cream came in one single cup as expected and you were only given one spoon, when the worker handed it to you they said, “enjoy the ice cream! you’re such a cute couple,” and before you could even deny it, ricky said thank you for you, snatched the ice cream and dragged you away to a booth

- and you were like, “what was that for?” and then ricky just shrugs and says, “just because,” and you’re like ???

- “oh wait, they only gave us one spoon. i’ll go get another one,” then before you could get up, ricky ,who was sitting across you, gently grabbed your arm to stop you from getting up and you looked at him in confusion

- “we can just use the same spoon, right?” when he said that, your cheeks immediately lit up into a bright red, him only smirking slyly knowing his effect on you even though he himself had to build up a lot of courage just to say that

- ricky jokingly tried to feed you, “open up. here comes the airplane,” and you were literally staring at him like wth and hesitantly taking a bite and looking down in bashfulness

- but the moment it occurs to him that both of you used the same spoon, basically indirectly exchanging saliva (ew) and kissing, he started getting really shy and you could tell by his red ears. he would try to hide his gleaming smile by looking down and avoiding your eyes, and you having the enjoyment of seeing the usual sly and confident ricky being so blushy all because of you

gyuvin

- okay but gyuvin bringing you on a (friendly) boba date after school like him literally dragging you to the nearest boba place and enthusiastically skipping around as you walk there

- then gyuvin places his usual boba order, “100% sugar and less ice please,” someone stop this man before he gets diabetes, he seems like the type to order 100% sugar for his boba every single time and you’re like what is wrong with you

- when you get your bobas, gyuvin is already happily sipping away his sugary drink, you being curious as to how sweet it tastes and so you asked him, “can i have a sip? please?” trying your best to persuade him with your best puppy eyes as much as you were cringing, annoying gyuvin was your favourite pastime

- “no! it was very expensive and you already made me pay for yours too! drink your own,” gyuvin pouted as he turned his back against you, hiding his drink as you try to reach for it behind his broad shoulders

- while you were walking home together, the previous situation long forgotten, you took the opportunity to sneak a sip when he wasn’t looking. “oh my god! look! there’s a cute puppy!” you pointing at a random direction and the naive gyuvin turns his head around to look for the said ‘puppy’. you instantly took a sip of his boba and the moment he realised what you were doing, he turned his head to you with betrayal written all over his face and his jaw dropped at your actions

- that was until he realised that you basically indirectly kissed since your lips touched the same straw that touched his and then his jaw dropped even more, gasping loudly and putting his hand over his lips, almost dropping his drink if not for your fast reflexes, grabbing it before it hits the ground

- then you’re like “why are you so dramatic? come on! i just took like one tiny sip,” proceeds to take another sip while glancing at gyuvin innocently as he blushes furiously and butterflies burst in his stomach like y/n bro it’s not just about the boba dude it’s a lot more than that

- “i mean like whatever, drink it all you want, i don’t care,” like what’s with this switch up? a minute ago he was desperately hiding his drink from you and now he’s putting on this nonchalant act. you just shrug and hand him back his beloved drink, skipping away, leaving him starstruck behind and urging him to hurry up as he stands there, mind blank and heart eyes gazing at your figure

gunwook

- you were having lunch with gunwook on the rooftop together as always. just the two of you in your own little world and you both often shared your food but today, you were having a sandwich so you didn’t bring any utensils

- “that looks delicious! can i have a bite? you can have a bite of my sandwich in exchange,” and when you were reaching for his lunchbox, you realised you didn’t have any utensils, “oh, can i borrow your spoon? i don’t have one,” gunwook’s mind went blank for a second before he nodded enthusiastically, heartbeat increasing and becoming giddy with the thought of you using the same spoon he previously used, he thought it was very romantic (he has a huge crush on you but you’re oblivious to it)

- and then it processed in his brain. you using his spoon? the same spoon that went in his mouth? basically exchanging saliva? basically kissing? i don’t think this boy can handle it anymore, looks like he’s about to black out and he freaks out on the inside like he’s about to kick his legs giddily like a school girl in love but controlling himself and regaining his composure, pretending as if it was nothing

- “mhm! your mom’s such a good cook. this is really good,” you complimented with your cheeks full of food, savouring the food cooked with love as you grinned cutely at gunwook who’s trying so hard to calm down his fast-beating heart, trying not to squeal at the adorable sight of you

- and then you add fuel to the fire by asking him, “oh! do you want a bite of my sandwich? i already took a bite if you don’t mind?” you offered him your sandwich, your hands stretched out to hand him your sandwich and he hesitantly grabbed it from you, taking a small bite out of the half-eaten sandwich

- bro is about to get a heart attack he chews the sandwich happily and smiles at you with his puffed out cheeks stuffed with food, he looked like a cute little hamster in your eyes and so you ruffled his hair, further worsening his case and making his heart beat even faster

yujin

- you and yujin were playing football together and both of you sweaty and exhausted from the brutally strenuous exercise, collapsing on the grass as you laid beside each other, both of you turning your heads to the side to face other, smiles automatically appearing on both of your faces as you look into each others eyes, the prolonged eye contact making butterflies bloom in both of your stomachs

- and when the both of you sit up to reach for your water bottles, you realised it’s completely empty and seems like you’ve already chugged all your water supply. upon noticing this, yujin contemplates for a second if he should do what his gut is telling him to do. his brain’s telling him that he’s going to make things awkward but his heart is encouraging him to go for it.

- his eyes dart from your frustrated figure to his water bottle and so, he gathers the courage to stretch his arm towards you, offering you his somehow still half full water bottle, “here, you can drink mine if you don’t mind it,” his hand which was previously supporting himself on the grass automatically moved to behind his neck, slightly rubbing it and his head facing the ground, looking down and avoiding your eyes, not wanting to face cruel rejection

- “are you fine with it? i don’t want to drink all your water,” you tried to reject but yujin insisted, “seems like you need it more than i do. it’s alright. i just have better stamina than you do,” yujin tried to play it off cooly by joking with you and so, you drank the water graciously, gulping it down like it was an oasis in a desert and honestly, he doesn’t mind at all because you are much more important than his water

- but the thought of indirectly kissing through drinking from the same water bottle, your lips touching the mouth of the bottle which was also touched by yujin’s, crossed his mind, and his cheeks instantly flared into a vibrant shade of pink and to hide that, he pretended to wipe his sweat with the collar of his shirt, hiding his reddened cheeks under the shirt

- let’s just say yujin couldn’t sleep peacefully that night because every time he closed his eyes, the scene of you indirectly kissing him and your lips on the mouth of his water bottle appeared in his head, constantly raising his heart rate and he would never let you know that you made him kick his feet like a lovesick romantic

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shuamorollss · 10 months

Text

Wishing we were more than friends — sim jaeyun x fem!reader

Going home with friends you easily get along with are fun, what isn't fun is to linger feelings for one of them. Already in a course to move on from your silly feelings... you would never expect that very friend you're trying to move on from, starts to develop feelings for you back.

romance, angst, friends2lovers, Italicized parts means flashbacks warnings— Jake kinda gives reader mixed signals, tension but idk if this should still be a warning lol, pls tell me if i should add more! 6.9k wc + reblogs are greatly appreciated!

author's notes— Thank you to my lovelies @haerinz and @luvistqrzzz for proofreading I love u both sm!! I wouldn't hv made this fic better without y'all's help <3 this is kinda inspired by some events that happened to me irl! it was cute to reminisce these memories so I wrote them down here HAHAHAHAHA

perm tags— @jangwonie @jungwonize @luhvlyuna @w3bqrl @ineedaherosavemeenow @leaderwon

After school rolled by fast. The next thing you knew, you were walking home with Seeun, Tsuki, Sunghoon, and Jake.

You all lived in the same neighborhood, hence why you all have stuck together in order to get home safely, due to your hometown being a bit too far away to where you all go to school.

Adding to that, all of you are different people. Different tastes, different years, different cliques in school, yet all of you get along so well when united. Honestly, you absolutely cherish this bond and you never want this friendship with them to fade.

You have a good relationship with all of them, although you have one of a rocky road with Jake.

He was quiet, he never talks as much, and when he does, he only talks to Sunghoon.

You've had a conversation with him from time to time, it was rare due to the fact you had lingering feelings for the man, and that feeling caused you to be vulnerable whenever he's near, which affected your demeanor around him.

Only Seeun knew your admiration for Jake, and she never told a soul, thankfully.

This feeling of yours lasted for a while, until you promised to yourself (and to Seeun) that by the end of that very year, you'll be moving on from your romantic feelings for him.

And that's what exactly happened.

New years rolled around, and so was back to school sessions. Nowadays, you are able to talk to Jake normally unlike before. You were extremely proud of this development, considering you were head over heels for him nonstop for the past 4 months… You saw sides of Jake you wished you saw sooner. He was a funny guy, typically quiet at best, though when he speaks, he'll tell the craziest stories that'll get you hooked.

Even with the improvements on your friendship with Jake and the feeling of butterflies never seems to be present anymore.

Jake eventually found out about your past feelings for him though.

During a silly game of truth or dare.

"Alright! Who's next!" Sunghoon sneered, holding the bottle on the ground as he spun the bottle.

Everyone decided to come by to your house to cook and watch movies, though after the watch, they all decided to stay and have more fun. Thus, right at this moment, you all were playing the very harmless truth or dare game.

Everyone formed a circle, some of them hastily drumming on their thighs as they intensely waited for the bottle to land on someone.

As the bottle slows down, they all teased Sunghoon, who was beside you, and had the bottle almost landing on him. The intensity of the bottle moving at a snail's pace infuriates Sunghoon, cussing their teases off. Until he lets out a triumphant yell as the Bottle stops to you.

"Please thank you! Thank you bottle." Sunghoon teared up, as if he just won an academy award.

"So Y/N," Seeun started, and your heartbeat quickened, already expecting the question that would be asked.

It's Seeun, she knows your darkest secrets, you were so sure she'll step on the opportunity to ask about… Jake.

Seeun paused, her eyes widened to your direction.

"Just to make sure, is it okay if I get personal?" Seeun asked calmly, and you knew that she was definitely, totally, going to ask about what you expect her to ask about.

"Of course, I'll answer anything honestly, I swear." You retorted, giving Seeun a warm smile as everyone in the circle started breathing out deep 'ooh's as if you had just said something vile.

"Did you like anyone in our circle, and if you did, Who was it?" Seeun cheekily smiled

Truthfully, you were indeed confident in answering any questions even if it's personal. Maybe this might also be the time to finally confess your faded feelings to Jake, since you seemed to notice now that you were way too obvious back then, therefore Jake's reaction might not be so surprised by the time you mention his name in your answer, moreso, it would be a neutral reaction as if he expected it in the first place.

You ponder for a moment, looking at your friends in the circle intently, though your eyes stay at Jake for a few seconds, then back to Seeun.

"Yeah, I did like someone," The tone of your voice was assured, which made some of them let out another segment of 'ooh's and 'oh's, and some of them just widening their eyes, including Jake.

You sigh idly, "It was Jake…"

That name alone caused everyone to freak out, all the eyes and attention transferring to the man across you.

You didn't want them to take the wrong Idea, especially Jake, so you stood up in order to plead your case.

"To be clear, I USED to like you okay! I don't like you anymore." You reconfirm, Jake only nodded with a wide smile, and that was enough for you to calm yourself down as everyone else were still freaking out.

Jake shared his thoughts and reaction to your confession, and rest assured to you that he didn't feel the same for you ever, and that was enough for you to hear since this had encouraged your romantic feelings for him to dissolve completely, seeing him more in a platonic light.

After that silly confession of truth you had answered, said again, your friendship with Jake grew. Finally teasing and joking with him without having your heart flipping out by the mere sight of him, and of course, telling him stories.

You were content with that type of bond, and you were glad you were as equally close to all of them now, especially Jake.

That is…

until you two weren't.

Again.

5 months have passed since that truth or dare game, the normal still continued. You all usually go home together after school and when hungry the five of you always go to the mall and eat there instead.

Though during those days, you began developing a crush on a new guy, just a cute barista you knew at a local café. Joking about having slight interest in him to your friends was funny and tolerable, until it became a normal delusion for you to see him in that kind of light.

Those were also the days Jake started being distant to you, as if the old days relieved itself once again.

You had no idea why, but since you were too preoccupied with your new crush, you didn't think much of it.

A month later has passed, you completely had gotten over that barista crush you had, and now you were already studying for your final exams, though your mind was clouded with Jake.

You curse at your conscience. Scolding yourself saying that you're already over him way too long ago, and that you were so sure that his feelings never involved ever liking you back ever, even once.

So why…

Why did that night happen?

"Wow, Y/N," Jake speaks out softly, his eyes sparkling at the sight of your prom attire.

"Is it bad? I didn't have time to do my hair so I just went with this really lazy Elsa hairdo—"

"You're beautiful." He grins from ear to ear, in which you subconsciously mirror his expression. The silence was too loud for the air between the both of you. You were unable to move, as well as your eyes that didn't seem to look elsewhere other than his eyes.

He looked dashing with his tux, and you couldn't get yourself to tell it to him.

You didn't need to, Jake already knew just by the looks of you staring at him, there was no need for him to even ask.

He took a step forward and reluctantly, yet gently offered you his hand.

"May I have this dance… With you?"

You took a few seconds to answer, darting your gazes to his visage and down to his idly shaking hand in front of you.

You took a deep breath, placing your hand on his, and that was enough for Jake to know that you wanted it. You wanted to dance with him.

You walk with him to the dance floor, your eyes never leaving his figure, even when you two have already started to dance.

The way his hands were placed on your waist left you with a burning mark on your cheeks, most likely your whole body. Everything in your body felt like numbing out just by the bare of his hands. Your hands nervously snakes up to the back of his neck, and the stars in your eyes only showed up when the man was in view.

There was only silence between you, and it's not the silence you fear anymore. It was more of a silence you two were fond of. The sole fact that you two have never been this close before, and this dance being the very first time you get to feel Jake up close as this, made you feel warm and comfortable. The same thing goes for Jake.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, he never wanted to anyway. All he could see is you and only you, and that's what made the atmosphere in your little couple bubble perfectly complacent.

"So…" Jake whispered, breaking the silence between you and him. Feet continues to dance through the rhythm

"So…?" You repeated, raising a brow confusingly.

"About the barista… Are you perhaps… over him?"

You chuckled, at the man's words. It was out of nowhere for him to ask about your past crush. You never considered this question and it didn't seem like he's curious about your feelings either… it's that this was the first ever conversation you're having with him after a few weeks of not talking.

You two still proceed to hangout due to being in the same friend group. Although, conversations were never present between you and Jake.

So him having these as his first words to you left you stunned, however you are not about to show him that. Given that you already stated that you have moved on from him… right?

"I'm very much over him. Why do you ask?" You tilt your head slightly due to curiosity.

"Good." He flashed a grin, staying silent after, realizing that he completely ignored your question.

You didn't want to keep asking and get him mildly annoyed, so you only stayed quiet.

Just how Jake wanted it.

The two of you continued to dance, it has been a few minutes and your feet still followed the rhythm of the song. You didn't seem to want to let go of him just yet, and so did he.

Jake was intoxicated by the smell of your perfume, inhaling then following that sweet aroma coming from your neck, as if he was attracted to it, leading him to lean his head on your shoulder.

Jake's eyes were closed, feeling the moment, as he squeezed your waist tighter, causing your body to feel against his.

You seem to lose control over your body. You felt like plopping down like a blob any minute. Despite that feeling, all it could do was just follow the steps to the rhythm of Jake's feet. Your eyes only stayed widened the whole time, feeling the warmth of his skin touching your bare shoulder was something you couldn't bear. You wanted to break down right at the moment, your heart was palpitating for the reason of your position right now.

"I'm glad." Were the very words Jake had said before his lip placed a peck at the side of your neck, letting out a faint gasp as that contact alone completely freezes your entire body. Jake stands back after, his eyes centered to his hand that was tenderly sliding down your arm and onto your hand.

"Let's go?"

You look at him and nod slowly as he holds your hand. following Jake out of the dance floor, guiding you back to your table and leaving you once he had finally taken you to your seat.

Then he never came back for you for the rest of the event.

You felt breathless, you were in a complete daze while reminiscing that thought. Leaving you frustrated for the reason of losing focus of your current studies.

"How else can I focus if all I could think about is Jake, Jake, and Jake?! " You groaned. Ranting endlessly to yourself, slumping your body on the soft mattress of your bed, completely surrendering your studies and promising yourself to continue tomorrow instead, by the time you get home.

You were babbling to the air for a good minute until your phone started to ring. Immediately picking it up to see Seeun's name calling.

"Hey? What's up?" You started.

"Sorry to keep this phone call short Y/N, but I'll text you more of the deets after. I'm not gonna go to school tomorrow because of an emergency and I was wondering if I could give you all my homework requirements tomorrow before you go to school? Just give it to Sheon please… Sorry for the bother I really am." Seeun stated, sounding petrified.

You quickly obliged to her simple favor thinking her situation must be grave since Seeun wasn't the one to skip classes whenever she pleases, so after the phone call, Seeun texted you once more of the details of her situation and why she couldn't come to school the next day.

School period ended early due to the heavy pour of the weather. Although even with the beneficial period cutoff, you didn't bring an umbrella. Only hoping that one of your friends has a spare, or could share with you.

You waited under a tree beside the gate of your school. now you're only waiting for the rest of the gang to come by… Though only one came.

"Let's go." Jake opened the umbrella, tilting his head in a direction where you all normally headed.

"Huh? Aren't we gonna wait for the rest?" You asked confusingly, looking back to the school in case you'd spot either Tsuki or Hoon.

"Sunghoon went home early due to an emergency, Tsuki just didn't go to school, and Seeun texted me saying to pass her excuse letter to her adviser… They didn't tell you?" Jake's perplexed expression intimidated you, you only knew Seeun's case although not the rest, so you only shrugged as a response and not by words.

So you'll be walking home with Jake… only. Just the two of you, in one umbrella.

Jake notices you being empty umbrella-handed, and so he walks closer to have you jumping in it with him.

"Come on, let's just share." He offered, in which you immediately accepted. You know he was Jake, though you were desperate to at least be kilometers far from school

A few walks far away from school, the two of you haven't said a word to each other. The awkward air you felt suffocated the most is present, and your muddled thoughts and memories, especially the time with him at the prom, didn't help you regain the confidence to break such an air… Though you had the gut feeling you had to at least talk to him, now that you're this close once again, reminding you of the distance you two had during the prom.

You winced at that memory, causing the other to look at you discerned.

"Is everything okay?" He asked timidly, stopping his tracks as his eyes focused on your disgusted expression.

"I-I'm fine, I just… remembered something super embarrassing." You reasoned, not wanting to tell him what really overcame in your head.

Jake slid it off and continued walking, it was another long series of silence between you and Jake once again.

You swore 2 months ago you were just nudging his arms because of his jokes… Why would you both feel this awkward and have your friendship with him regress after it was doing so well.

The next thing you knew, you two were already in your neighborhood, a few more walks until Jake reached his home, and then yours.

You thought to yourself that Jake would go home then pass you the umbrella instead, however to your surprise, Jake walked past the gate of his home which left you with questions.

"Are you walking me home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought you were gonna stop by your house and give me your umbrella instead, since my home is still a few more walks from yours."

"It's raining hard, you shouldn't be out here on your own—"

As he was about to end his sentence, a loud thunder struck and white lightning flashed the sky, causing you to shriek, holding the umbrella to cover you well from the pouring rain.

"Oh my god.." You muttered, Tightening the grip of the umbrella handle that Jake was also holding.

"Oh god— I'm sorry, let's get home fast please." You yell out in fear, your heart rapidly beating as if another flash of lightning and shriek of thunder was about to come by in a few seconds. Your fearful grip on the umbrella still stayed, as you started walking at a fast pace that Jake immediately catched up on, which goes on until you both have reached your home.

You both stood at the front of your porch for a short minute, you had no idea why Jake stopped his tracks, you only stopped for the reason that he stopped first.

and so without having much patience, you recklessly hopped on to the porch, partially getting yourself wet, even if your hand was still at the contact of Jake's umbrella handle. Before you moved completely to avoid getting more drenched from the rain, you felt another hand gently placed on top of yours.

Yet again— another series of silence as you two stare at each other's eyes. Jake slowly makes his steps onto your porch. The contact on the umbrella didn't seem to break, as the two of you transferred your gazes to where your hands were placed. You didn't want to let go, yet deep down, you were scared, your head was spinning to nowhere as his hand never let go of yours.

You began to conflict with yourself, your eyes slowly transitioning to a horrified state. A feeling you don't understand— a feeling so puzzling you don't even dare to question, having this whole ordeal with Jake is as just as confusing as your current, incoming, outburst.

"What… is wrong with you?" You let out, eyes welled up, and Jake only stared at your rapid change in demeanor. Your hand intensely retracts the hold on the umbrella as Jake's fingers automatically close the umbrella.

"Y-You're completely all over the place?" Your breath hitched, then facing behind from his view, your hands shrieked due to the heat building up your anger, than more so being it from the cold temperature of the rainy weather.

"I don't know… back then you were so fun to be with but now you have become so distant. I have no idea on how— or what happened that made you like that. I don't know if I did anything wrong or that made you feel uncomfortable in a way because If I did something— anything… I'm so sorry." You ranted, catching your breath as your eyes blazed onto the other, who remained quiet, drooping his eyes down to the wooden floor, unable to respond back.

"But… That one night, that one prom night…" You paused. Jake's head rises as he hears those very words from your tongue.

"You know damn well what I was talking about, do you?"

Jake's unresponsiveness didn't help calming down your systems. Instead, it made you more infuriated.

After a few seconds of silence, waiting for something, at least anything from the man, there was none.

You inhale the cold breeze from the continuous pouring rain just in front of you, as your hands subconsciously brush your hair messily in an infuriating manner. "I don't know what your intentions were that night. The way you asked me about that barista, Yeonjun? If I got over him… and that kiss— the way you kissed my neck? How?!— do you normally just do that to other girls…? 'Cause Jake I've been hanging out with you for the entirety of this school year and I've never seen you do anything like that,"

"Or maybe that truth or dare game? A lot changed after that game, after I confessed my old feelings for you. What did I do?— What happened to you? I assured you they were old feelings but a few months after that you started giving me signals, probably old me would've fan out to be honest... Were you just trying to relive my old feelings for you? Is it because you wanted my feelings to just stay attracted to you? Is that it? Because you are absolutely sick for that Sim Jaeyun… You don't know how vulnerable and conflicted I became when you started to change. I can't even grasp the situation or If I'm saying anything right because— I… don't understand you. One day you'll be quiet and wouldn't even say a single word to me, and then go I'm glad you moved on from mister barista and then leave me by the side and never come back? What was that? " Your voice echoed through the open porch. your words could easily be overlayed by the hard rain in the background yet they were loud enough for the man to comprehend. Every emphasis of the words and events you mention brings Jake back to his mind and recalls those memories that ever happened.

"I'm sorry." Finally a word from him, yet not something you had ever hoped for him to say.

Your comprehension of his response was him apologizing for doing any of the things you have just said. Cracking a part of your heart at the indirect confirmation of the man's intentions.

"I'm sorry..? You're sorry? Sorry?! "

"You're so fucking… fuck— selfish for that! You're nothing but a selfish freak who doesn't— who never thinks about others feelings. Only doing it for their own satisfaction and—"

"You don't know how vulnerable I am at the mere sight of you, Y/N."

You stopped mid sentence, stunned as your eyes darted to his standing figure. You take a few steps towards him, as if you wanted to hear his statement more clearly by the loud thundering climate.

It was at this moment that you realized that the following small thunders and big flashes of lightning didn't seem to startle you. All your focus only went to exposing your wholehearted antipathy to the other.

Jake's breath hitched the same as yours earlier on, it's like it was his turn to let out his jumbled feelings to you.

"There were no spare days where you didn't flood my thoughts. Day and night, Y/N, you were always present and I had no plan on stopping that infestation."

His dark eyes pierced through you, feeling the rush of the heavy wind kiss through your figure.

Despite his confession, you did not give the same treatment to how he was when you were on your outburst.

"Then why? Why would you do all that?"

"Because you told me, well— told us before that you stopped liking me by the time new years rolled around."

"You remembered the new years part?"

"Very much, yes,"

"Look, I didn't know my feelings would come to this. You were a fun friend, you were a great company, although I couldn't bear myself to be so near you after a few months."

"Why?" You whispered, eye furrowed at the confessions of the other.

"I always think that I might do something I'll regret." He takes a few steps backwards, the air between the both of you feeling as soothing as it was just suffocating and intense before.

"Like what?" You take a few steps forward, the same amount of steps Jake took.

"Y/N… stop" He took a few more steps backwards, rebuffing your ways on pushing him to answer your question.

You stepped closer and closer, and now too close to Jake, repeating the same question in an attempt to pressure him into bursting out his answer due to the stress and the annoyances of your nagging.

It was only a matter of time before Jake gave in, biting his lips in frustration as he felt his head heat up so close to combustion.

"goddammit Y/N." He aggressively grabs the collar of your blouse and proceeds to pull you 3 inches close to his face.

You swore you felt your heartbeat stop for a brief moment at the sudden contact of his nose onto yours. The way you felt his breath fanning over your lips, sensing the tense air he had been inhaling since he had stepped a foot on your porch.

It was only a matter of movement to have your lips connect yet Jake resisted the urge, releasing his grip from your blouse, causing you to limp backwards.

Your gaze at Jake with a baffled look, processing the thing that just happened.

It was hard to convince yourself that whatever that was, actually happened.

It was real, you felt it, everything.

There was silence. It felt like a wall being compressed and will mush the both of you into some sort of unrelenting concoction. Jake was too stunned about his own actions, turning around to storm off at the scene and probably forget that this ever happened.

As he took a few steps off the porch, you realized that you had enough with the distance, you felt so far away with Jake always running away all the time. Your mind was everywhere, especially the feeling of his face as similar as that again. You were desperate to know how he really felt for you, and you couldn't just let him walk away and watch again as his figure dissipated into the heavy pouring rain.

"Jake." You utter as you grip on his arm, spinning him around to face you as your hands snake up onto the back of his neck, tip toeing to reach the height of his lips, yet it was no reach. Even with what you had just done, you weren't about to kiss him anyway, you wanted to see how he'd react with your sudden motion.

It was only a matter of seconds until Jake attacked his lips on yours. It was an aggressive contact at first, sensing the desperation of his lips yet contrasting from his hands that carefully held your face as if it was glass.

You'd be lying if you said weren't desperate for it either, you had craved this type of contact ever since prom, it was only regretful to ever admit it personally. But now that you're fulfilling your most secret desire, most likely that this would be the time to embrace it.

God, you want him so bad.

Too bad.

The both of you lost the sense of surroundings, as you carelessly pushed him to the ramp of your porch as your lips were still intact. Leaving a quick gasp from Jake's end due to the startling feeling from the cold contact of his body.

The sudden hum coming from Jake's voice seized you to let go yet Jake didn't want your lips to part from his. Even with the force of his hands holding your face to him for much longer, he eventually gave in. Hands loosen the hold on your cheeks. You tensely took a few steps backwards as you started panting, your chest pumping in and out with Jake in unison, catching both of your remaining breaths and remaining comprehension from that predicament.

Your eyes pierced through Jake's gaze, your breathing is shaky, same goes for your hands… your body's frozen in place, all of these yet the reason does not ivolve the the cold temperature of the weather.

None of you exchanged any words. Instead, it was quiet, yet again, the area only filled with the small and loud droplets of the rain… It's merely raining anymore, as you only focus on him, hear him, and feel him.

Nothing makes sense at this moment. Honestly, you wanted to reach your senses to sense yet things just felt too out of the ordinary.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." Jake came through. Rushing for your comfort. Although you ran back with the presence of terror, opening your front door and slamming the door in front of him at the nick of time. You were speechless per say, you couldn't describe words, you couldn't speak out your thoughts. The sudden walk out suddenly sent Jake into a shock of panic.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, please— I didn't mean to—"

He proceeds to passively knock on your door repeatedly. He whispered a curse to himself as to resent the contact you two had shared. Biting his lips in pure regret at the mere memory a few minutes ago.

"Y/N please." The knocks still kept coming through.

You only stood against the door, paralleled from the man on the other side. You had no idea what course of action you were going to take. You were furious about the distance he kept himself from earlier, and then suddenly it was all gone because of a kiss. Yet here you are, setting up walls to him.

You didn't want any more walls or distance to grow, you wanted him to be forward to you and he'll do so.

Now, it's your turn to talk, before regret suffices.

"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I really am—"

"Jake," Your voice muffled against the door, which Jake had heard, immediately backing away at the click of the doorknob.

You twist the knob and pull it to see a distressed Jake in front of you. His doleful eyes locked onto your figure, waiting for you to tell him something, anything.

"I'm not… mad at you." you muttered.

Jake stood quiet as his look at you stayed bewildered.

"I was just startled… I didn't know what to do— or what to say." You plead, your eyes are red as it remains glistened.

No words came out from Jake, possibly dumbfounded by your response.

"When did you realize you liked me, by the way?" You asked out of nowhere, attempting to tone down the tension in your system from earlier.

"When you started talking about that barista more… and it's 'like'… without the D." He admitted it extremely easily, causing you to subconsciously let out a short chuckle unexpectedly at his last words.

"What?" Jake's brows furrowed at your uncalled reaction, his smile perking up at the sight of you smiling at him.

"You just said that so straightforwardly, it… it kinda caught me off guard."

"There's no point in getting nervous around you again, kissing you was my last straw."

"Oh, so you finally loosened your walls? "

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

The both of you shared the same laughter. Eyes showing genuine feelings of forgiveness. There was no need of words to let the both of you be reminded of anything, yet it still felt guilting.

"What if you become distant to me again?" you voiced your concern, the faint smile you had dropping almost at an instant at the thought of that question.

"I won't," The man only took deep breaths as he slowly took a few steps forward, stepping foot in your home. The tense air that compressed between yours and Jake made you shiver, it felt ticklish, although you concealed the feeling as you didn't want this distance to part with you.

"I like you, and even more than that,"

From his aggressive grip behind your head earlier to a much more gentle approach as he slowly wraps you in for a hug, chin laying softly on top of your head, and his hand transferring to the back of your hair, patting gently purely because he wanted you against him, he wanted to be the one to calm you down from his mistakes. His eyes in pure concern as if he had done so much unspeakable pain.

You, on the other hand, were extremely glad at his sudden action, feeling too content within his embrace. It was at this moment that you knew that you indeed love him too dearly, and you only hope for him to reciprocate these feelings similar to yours.

"And I'm grateful for myself to even say this so boldly to you, even if it meant breaking your heart."

It only startled you once more when the man had continued his words after a minute of pausing. The words coming out from lips breezed against your ear, making you hear the mumbled words almost clearly.

You sneered at his response, causing the man to change his expressions to mild uncertainty.

"Silly, you didn't break my heart… Well, kinda."

"I'll make up for it?" He offered, the warmth of his breath getting through to your scalp caused your body to briefly shiver at the feeling.

"How so?" You asked cheekily, transferring your gaze up to the toned down storm.

"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up?"

You stayed silent at his invitation, the other not having a quick peek of your reaction which led him to assume the worst due to your unresponsiveness.

"Or not… I'm sorry. Am I going too fast?"

With this realization, he parts his hand from your hair as he pushes himself from you unhurriedly.

Alternatively you quickly pull both of his arms back to your clingy embrace.

"No you're not. I just like being in this position with you right now," You muffled against his jacket, now having your warm breath fanning over the fabric of his cloth sent heat up to his cheeks, bringing his hand back to where it was before.

"Let's talk about dates another time… Let's focus about what everything is right now."

the clasp between one another was definitely at its high. It's something you don't seem to want to let go of, as if you're addicted. Now that you felt him like this more closer than before, you wanted this to go on eternally. Now that he's with you probably having the same exact feelings, you're not scared anymore. Not the distance, not the words, not his presence.

All of those became a comfort, and honestly, this was too good to be true.

As you drown yourself in your own dreamy thoughts, Jake's head transfers to the side of your head, tracing you out of a segment of your endless realizations, shivering you in the process due to the ticklish interval.

"How about you Y/N? Do you like me?" He questions.

You remembered daydreaming this moment every night during so many months back, that era of you hoping that someday it'll happen.

and every night you always reply and say the same words in the same scenario.

"I do, and more than just… like. I am insanely in love with you."

With just that, it had sent a critical hit on Jake's beating heart. He couldn't believe that you were still up to loving him again after all that he made her feel. Yet here you are, giving him a chance.

It still left a pinch of guilt within Jake for the reason of what he did to you that initiated your outburst of emotions from earlier. He was stunned to see that side of you and he wanted to never witness that side of you, ever.

It was at this moment that Jake would promise himself that he'd take care of you for the rest of his life, and that he wouldn't spare a single mistake of his to have you return to the feeling of heavy sorrow because of him again.

EXTRA:

"Where's Jake and Y/N?" Seeun asked worriedly. Standing beside the gate alongside Tsuki and Sunghoon as they watch crowds of students walk past the gate. Only waiting for their remaining friends to have their respective classes to be dismissed, yet it has been almost 30 minutes since they've been waiting and anxiety crawls up on their systems.

"I don't know? What if they didn't go to school today?" Tsuki responds, darting her eyes left to right inspecting as if both of you might be a part in the sea of students.

"If they didn't go to school, they would have told us." Seeun grumbled, tip-toeing as if she could spot you or the man anytime soon.

"Oh— Oh! Hey!—" Sunghoon halted one of the students who they knew to be your classmate. "Uhm, question, did Y/N go to school today?" Sunghoon asked, the student paused for a moment since the sudden question had startled him. "Y-Yeah, but she went out really early… Something about waiting for her boyfriend or something. Only from what I assume though."

"Boyfriend? " All said in unison as the two girls' darted their focus to your classmate. All three gave a concerned look as their brows remained furrowed at the abrupt revelation.

Sunghoon uttered a thanks as the student continued his path, still leaving all three of them in a state of shock.

"Y/N? and… boyfriend? " Tsuki recalled, still too stunned about what your classmate had said.

"What about Jake?— Oh hey! " Seeun's demeanor switches in an instant by the sight of Jake's classmate who he always walks out the school with before meeting up with them.

Seeun asked the same thing as Sunghoon, although now related to Jake.

"Oh, he's with that Y/N girl I'm sure, since I remember seeing the same girl who's waiting there to the one who hangs a lot with you guys here."

"Well… what are they doing in— Where?! " Seeun was at the brink of freaking out yet remained her decorum.

"She was waiting outside our classroom, probs waiting for Jake… That's all I know."

Seeun now uttered a thanks to him as Jake's classmate walked away.

There was a confusing silence between the air of the three friends for a few minutes. All dumbfounded by the fact about... anything, related to you and Jake.

The stray thinking lasted until Seeun spotted you and Jake talking and laughing at each other at a distance.

All of them locking their gazes to both of you with a menacing look. Which the you and Jake had caught on immediately, only locking their gazes back until the both of you stopped in front of them.

"Let me guess…" Sunghoon started, placing his fingers on his chin as if he was speculating (the obvious).

"Girlfriend, boyfriend. Boyfriend, girlfriend." He stated as he pointed to one of you respectively.

Your eyes grew wide, startled by their assumption. "Oh What?— No no no no! We're not..." You look at the man with red tinted cheeks beside you, signalling him to not feel hurt in your next words.

However, before you could continue, Jake's hand instantly pulled your shoulder closer beside him, letting out an nervous smile from you while Jake's smile stood calm and collected.

"We're not a thing!"

"Yes we are."

"Jake!"

"We'll end up being a thing anyway so might as well think in advance."

Tsuki, Seeun, and Sunghoon all widened their eyes as they held in their screams of surprise.

"Y/N!" Seeun welled up as she shakes your arm aggressively, creating fake crying noises.

"We were just gone yesterday and suddenly you two are in a relationship the next day?!" Tsuki exclaimed.

You and Jake only let out shy giggles at their reactions. It was funny to see them at this state yet you had to tell them what really happened sooner or later.

All of you proceeded to walk out of school as the three bickered about your relationship with each other. Seeun mostly, seeing the side of you which was so down for the so-called 'boyfriend'. All of their voices mixed badly inside your little friend group bubble as they all ask the same thing yet ask them so messily.

As this was happening, Jake's hand softly landed on yours as a secret invitation to hold his, which you immediately complied. Squeezing his hand in an attempt to tease him, letting out a small "ow." from the other.

"You better tell us everything, okay?" Seeun rambled. everyone simultaneously agreeing to Seeun's words and nagging you to tell them the whole story.

Well, they'll be in for a longggg walk.

#enhanet #enhypenwriters #k-labels #jake x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen x reader fluff #jake x reader fluff #jake x reader angst #enhypen x reader angst #enhypen jake #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun imagines #sim jaeyun angst #jake sim #sim jake #enhypen imagines #enhypen

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goblinontour · 5 months

Text

To The First Girl Who Lit Him A Flame (Part 1)

you give fetus al his first blowjob

warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), alcohol, idk that’s pretty much it

word count: 3.6k

you were never into big parties, instead you preferred just hanging out with your closest ones and getting drunk, making fools of yourselves. but your friends insisted you needed to come tonight. apparently one of the guys from school had an empty house and decided to let everyone in, no matter if he knew them or not.

so that’s how you found yourself in his kitchen pouring yourself another drink of some sort, mainly just vodka to be fair. if you’re here and there are free drinks might as well make the most of it. the house was loud, people everywhere, some you haven’t ever seen.

after you fixed yourself that drink you decided to look for your friends but they were nowhere to be found. not in the back garden, not in the house, not one of them. that made you nervous. you didn’t like talking to people you didn’t know that well. so you just went back to the small kitchen and luckily nobody was in there. you just slumped down on the floor, sitting against one of the cabinets, downing what you had in that cup, honestly wishing you didn’t come here at all. and your luck of being alone soon ran out because you heard some steps getting closer and eventually the door opened and you cursed to yourself.

it was alex. alex turner. you don’t know him that well really. he’s a year younger than you so friend groups didn’t overlap much. but you’ve always thought he was cute. you’ve both been going to the same school for some years so you’ve seen him around, you know he’s only been getting cuter and cuter as time went by. the fact that he could play guitar made him even more of a catch.

he was talking to someone as he entered the room but when he looked around and saw you on the floor his face went a bit red. he was very shy, but the alcohol gave him a bit more courage to be able to talk to you.

“hi y/n, you doing alright?” he was scratching his head, his shaggy hair getting all messed, sticking up in places.

“yep, just lost my friends, you?”

“fine, wanted to grab a beer, you want a drink? your cup’s empty.” he’s had the biggest crush on you for ages and this was his chance. tonight or never.

“oh, uhm…yeah, sure, whatever you’re having”

ugh, why are you talking like that, you think to yourself, getting all nervous around him. this is the most you two have ever talked. you shouldn’t be nervous, you were pretty tipsy at this point, drinking usually made you feel more at ease in times like this, so why was he making you feel like that? he seemed a bit nervous too. you brushed it off as just being because of the whole situation, being left alone and being pretty much strangers stuck at this party. well, you felt stuck, don’t know about him, he seemed in pretty good spirits though.

he grabbed two beers from the fridge and cracked them open. he leaned down to you so you could take it, and your fingers brushed against his for a second, sending shivers through your body. you got stuck for a moment, hand out to the bottle but not actually grabbing it from him. that’s until he snapped you out of it by asking “mind if i stay?” with a stupid cute smile on his face.

you shook your head, letting him know it’s alright. you weren’t going to kick him out anyway, not like it was your house. you patted the space on the floor next to you and he sat down as well, spreading his legs out in front of him and crossing them.

the two of you got talking, he was actually really nice, and smarter than you’d expect, especially considering he was younger than you. a year isn’t much but usually guys were dumber, except he wasn’t. he had his way with words and the way he gestured with his hands while he talked, and how he would do it all with a smile on his face. you didn’t realise it but you zoned out and just kept staring at him.

“you’re really pretty”

did you just say that out loud?

“is that right?” he said, turning away from you, focusing on the pattern of the tiles to calm himself down. was this really happening? he didn’t want to be cocky with the way he blurted out that response, just surprised you said that. he didn’t consider himself pretty, not really.

you already said it, no way to take it back, so you brought your hand up to his hair and started messing it up with your fingers. it was really soft.

“you are.”

“you’re really pretty too” smiling to himself as he said it, and after saying that he looked back at you, his eyes flicking in between yours and your lips, as if trying to decide if he should go for it or not. but he did. he grabbed you by the jaw softly, guiding your face towards his, and he kissed you. once your lips touched you couldn’t help yourself. you brought him even closer to you, your hand still in his hair, pulling slightly on it. your tongue soon poked at his lips, begging to taste him, and he complied, deepening the kiss filled with the bitterness of beer and whatever mix of liquor you’d both been consuming, but it was also sweet. he was sweet.

you intertwined one of your legs with his own, and he guided you to sit on his lap. you put your hands on his face, holding him in place as if he was going to run away. you couldn’t let that happen, not now. his hands found their place on your hips, barely touching you, like he was scared of doing something wrong. so you took the lead and moved them to your ass. you broke the mess of a makeout session you were having to say “you can touch me you know?” moving your lips to his neck, leaving a chaste kiss there. as you did that you felt his hands squeeze your ass over your jeans. god they were huge. but he quickly stopped himself. “it’s alright alex, i like it”. he was so nervous, you felt it.

you also felt him starting to get hard under you as you kept leaving wet kisses on his neck and playing the hair at the back of his head. you bit down on the sensitive skin, not too hard, just a bit, you were getting horny as well. his hips bucked at that and he immediately raised his hands to his face to cover up.

“sorry, fuck, i didn’t mean to do that, ‘m so sorry”. you put your hands over his own and pushed them to the sides to reveal his face. he was so red, his lips puffy and shiny from the remnants of the lipgloss you were wearing. you probably looked just about the same.

“don’t be sorry. it’s okay”

you pushed yourself down on him, grinding slowly. the pressure from his erection digging through his jeans making the seam of your own rub against your pussy in just the perfect spot felt delicious. though you kinda wish you’d worn a skirt so you could feel him directly through your underwear.

your moment got interrupted when some guys walked into the room. you paid no attention to them, didn’t care who they were or the fact that they just walked in on you straddling alex’s lap. they were too drunk to remember it in the morning anyway.

you got up from his lap and put your hand out to help him up from the floor. you smirked to yourself when you saw how he tried so hard to cover his hard on.

“come on.” you said to him, leading him to the bathroom down the hall.

thank god it was free.

you pushed him inside the room and quickly locked the door behind you. maybe you were a bit too eager cause when you locked him in between your arms you made him hit his head against the door. nothing that couldn’t be fixed with another kiss, through which you could feel him smile. his lips felt so soft against your own, and he kissed you perfectly, not too much tongue, perfect. it’s like you fit together just right and this was meant to be, as cliché as it sounds.

you put one of your legs between his and raised it slightly, rubbing your thigh against his crotch, making a whimper find its way out from his mouth, going straight to your core.

“pretty boy makes pretty sounds as well” the moan he was about to let out was stopped however by you biting his bottom lip.

you slipped one of your hands in between your bodies to palm him over his jeans. he was rock hard at this point, his pants stretched to the limit.

“fuuuck y/n” the way he said your name, his voice trembling…god. you were soaked. you applied more pressure, squeezing his bulge. he was about to cum in his pants just then just from that so he stopped you, his voice all breathy and broken by his panting.

“wait, wait, please”

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing…it’s just that…uhmmm…” he was struggling to get his words out, not knowing how you would take what he was about to say.

“what is it? tell me” you didn’t know if he didn’t want to go through with it or what.

“it’s just…i’ve never…you know…”

really? alex turner, the guy in a band that the girls in school were all talking about? that wasn’t a turn off for you at all though, just made it even more exciting. you weren’t some sex guru either. you’d only been with one guy before.

he thought he ruined everything just then “fuck my life, i shouldn’t have said that” looking up, not having the courage to look you in the eye and see your reaction.

you wanted to reassure him so he wouldn’t go all shy on you, so you started playing with his hair again, he seemed to like that.

“what’s the furthest you’ve gone?” you asked, genuinely curious as to what he meant by ‘never’.

“well umm…this i guess, right now, us”

“that’s alright alex” you kissed him again, to show him you meant what you said. “do you want us to stop?”

“only if you want to stop” he was the sweetest thing ever.

“well, i don’t”

you kissed him again, for some reason knowing you would be the first to touch him was turning you on so much, you wanted to make this good for him. your kisses trailed down to his jaw, and lower, down his neck, and to his collarbone. when you got there he moaned. looks like you found his sweet spot. you stayed there and left a small love bite, hearing his sweet little noises as you did so. your hand went back to his raging erection, you could feel a slight wet patch already. he was so horny and on the edge he leaked through his jeans.

“can i go down on you?” you asked, your lips still against his skin, the hot breaths that escaped while you talked making him shiver.

“yes please”

‘please’. he’s got manners, this little one.

“you’re cute” you bet he’ll be even cuter with his cock in your mouth. soon enough.

he never had a chance to respond because you slipped your hand under the waistband of his jeans and palmed him again, this time over just his underwear, making him gasp out loud.

soaked. and big. he felt bigger than you’d expect from what he looked like. he had quite a small frame, guess all those other inches went somewhere else.

you got down on your knees and were about to unzip his jeans but you stopped for a sec when you felt his thighs trembling and noticed his hands were shaking. he had them against his stomach, lifting up his shirt slightly, not knowing what to do with them.

“everything okay alex?” you asked, looking up at him and you saw how he looked almost scared, his plump lips parted and his eyes wide watching you.

“just nervous” he mumbled.

“no need to be, i’ll make it good for you, i promise”

“i don’t doubt that” he giggled, making you giggle as well “it’s okay, you can…uhm…you can go on. if you want to, of course”

“i do alex, stop worrying about it” you reassured him, leaving a kiss on the side of the exposed skin of his lower belly, and then another one on the light trail of hair right down the centre leading down from his belly button, your breaths tickling him making another soft whimper escape his mouth.

you finally unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, followed by his underwear, which was stained by a big wet patch.

ginormous would be an understatement to describe him once his dick was free and you saw it all, in all its beauty. as the cold air hit it you saw it twitch. the head was poking, fat and throbbing from how hard he was, still oozing precum, almost dripping but you caught it as you wrapped your hand around him and spread the drops threatening to fall from his slit with your thumb, all over his tip and then down his length. he hissed as you stroked him and pulled at his skin with each of your downstrokes.

you didn’t even give that many blowjobs to your last boyfriend, it wasn’t that fun for you, but now? you had to have alex’s cock in your mouth right then and there.

you were nervous too, you weren’t an expert at this either but you wanted to make it good for him and the alcohol helped you get more confident.

you licked a stripe along the underside of his cock, from the bottom all the way to his tip, and he hissed once more as you wrapped your lips around him and started stimulating him with your tongue, circling it around his head, the salty taste spreading around your mouth. it took all the power he had in him to not cum instantly. you started bobbing your head up and down his cock, at the same time stroking him with one of your hands around the rest you couldn’t quite fit into your mouth just yet. you hollowed your cheeks and slowly started taking more of him. one of his hands found its way to your hair, not controlling your movements, more just looking for a place to steady himself. when you looked up at him you noticed his other other hand went to his mouth and he was biting down on his fingers to stop himself from making too much noise. also to stop himself from coming too soon, not wanting to embarrass himself by lasting 2 seconds. but he couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips forward, driving his cock deeper into you and hitting the back of your throat, making you instantly gag around him and you pulled back for air.

“i’m so sorry fuck did i hurt you?” you could see the pure panic on his face.

“you didn’t al” you continued to stroke him with your hand and rubbed his thigh softly with your other “you’re just very big, i need to get used to it, i’ve never had anyone this big”

“oh, okay, sorry” he was still a bit concerned.

you can’t help but smile, he was adorable.

“did you just apologise for having a big dick?” you snapped him out of his bubble, making him chuckle. “and let me hear all those noises you got please, i reckon no one’s sober enough to care out there, music’s loud anyway”

“okay” he said but immediately turned into a groan as you took him back into your mouth.

his sounds only got louder and louder as you continued to suck him off, pretty moans and whimpers letting you know you’re doing good.

“fuckkk y/n i’m not gonna last long” as he said that you flattened your tongue, making more space for his thick cock to sink down your hole. your throat had time to get used to it by now, so you were gonna try your best to take him all. you prepared yourself by pulling off once more and taking a deep breath before going down on him again. you were about to gag once his tip brushed the back of your throat but you continued to breathe through your nose until you got it all to sink in.

“oh fuck” he groaned, his voice strained. “that feels so g- good” he couldn’t even get his words out straight, you felt too good, all those new sensations he was experiencing for the first time lighting his whole body on fire. he could feel his heart beating erratically and his breathing was all over the place.

meanwhile you just focused on your breathing, trying not to gag around him with his cock tickling your throat and the hair at the bottom of where your nose was touching him tickling you at the same time.

“i’m- gonna- fuck i’m gonna cum soon” he managed to get those words out before pulling you back by the hair so he wouldn’t shoot his load down your throat, not knowing if that would be okay with you.

manners. cute and considerate. he’s got it all , doesn’t he? oh, and a pretty dick.

“you can cum in my mouth if you want. do you want that?” you asked as you kept stroking him with your hand, not wanting to let the feeling get lost and ruin his quickly approaching orgasm. he just gave you a quiet ‘mhmm’. you wanted to push his limits a little bit.

“how bad do you want it?” you teased while flicking your tongue along his slit, making it even harder for him to say something.

“so bad ughhh please. please let me cum in your mouth.”

you took him in once more, tightly wrapping your lips around him and to push him even further you brought one of your hands and lightly squeezed his balls, pushing him over the edge instantly. his cum started shooting down your throat as you kept your eyes on him, wanting to see his face as he experienced his first orgasm from this, his first from something else other than his own fist.

he couldn’t make himself watch you in return, as much as he would’ve wanted to, he just couldn’t. it was too much, his head was thrown back, eyes rolling so far back only a sliver of white could be seen, and his mouth wide open but no sounds were leaving it, all getting stuck in his throat from the overwhelming pleasure he was feeling. it was so different from anything else he’s ever experienced, not just from the fact that it’s someone’s throat instead of a hand, but because it’s you out of all people, the girl he’s had a crush on for god knows how long was giving him his first blowjob.

he came so much, and it’s not that it tasted bad necessarily, it was better than what you’ve had before, but it was a lot and it was getting stuck in the back of your throat. you felt like you were going to gag if you didn’t pull back so you did, leaving the last few spurts to land on your lips and down your chin. you tried to swallow it but you couldn’t bring yourself to, it was tickling too much so you quickly turned to the toilet that was nearby and spit it out.

you turned back to him, barely holding himself up on his legs, his softening cock resting down one of his thighs. he took a few deep breaths to calm down and tucked himself back into his boxers. you helped him do up his jeans and before you had the chance to get up he got down next to you instead.

he wiped the rest of his cum that was left on your chin and wiped it down on his pants, they were messed up regardless so it didn’t matter anymore. he pressed his forehead against yours, his hair sweaty and sticking to you and he murmured a warm ‘thank you’ followed by a sweet kiss on your lips, and another one on your cheek, and another one, until it felt like he covered your entire face in his little sweet kisses and you scrunched up your face at his show of affection.

“you’re adorable alex” you giggled as you pressed a kiss to his nose as well.

“no, you are.” giving you one last kiss on your lips. “can i return the favour? you were amazing…i wanna make you feel good too. i mean uhm i don’t know what to do exactly but you could teach me.”

tempting.

but you decided against that right now, the sink wasn’t the type you could sit on and you weren’t too keen on laying down on those tiles, you knees were killing you from them.

“maybe another time?” you suggested.

“do you want another time?” he asked genuinely.

“yes, definitely” you said, getting your hands all up in his hair again, fixing the mess of a mop on top of his head for him.

“alright. i’m alone tomorrow night if you wanna come over.”

“eager now, aren’t we?” you joked “yeah, i’d like that, tomorrow.”

“tomorrow.”

a/n: i’m a whore for baby alex and basically everything i write is about sucking his dick lmao i think about it too much (way too much). hope you enjoy, it’s the expanded version of something i’ve had in my notes for months but i wrote half of it freezing my ass off at starbucks so soz if there are any typos.

#alex turner smut #alex turner #alex turner x you #alex turner x reader #alex turner fic #alex turner fanfic #alex turner x y/n #smut #goblinontour

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zeroeightzeroone · 5 months

Text

in this lifetime and the next - seo changbin

genre: angst? sad? hurt? idk two exes are talking about their past relationship

pairing: ex-boyfriend, non-idol!seo changbin x ex-girlfriend!femreader

notes: if this looks familiar, my secondary blog 'zerothreetwentyfive ' was deleted by tumblr (idk why) so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~2.5k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"how…" he clears his throat, "how have you been?"

his eyes are fixed on the night sky. even with the knowledge that he isn't looking in your direction, you still shrug before replying, "i've been… okay."

if someone told you three years ago you'd be lying under the millions of stars sparkling up within the dark night sky, next to your ex-boyfriend, you would've been convinced that person was out of their mind. especially, if that person told you that throughout the trip you would find yourselves alone together coincidentally, eventually finding yourselves sober and in the comfort of your ex-partner laid next to you. a cool breeze drifting by once in a while and everyone else who came onto the trip were either drunk or passed out inside the cottage.

you really would've called an intervention. convinced that they were far too delusional for their own good.

then again, you from three years ago would have never believed there'd come a day when your boyfriend would become your ex. where he would become someone of your past. you from three years ago could not even fathom, nor entertain the possibility of being away from the man, of living without the man. the man you loved more than anything or anyone. a statement that holds true to this day.

truthfully, you believed that he would be the one you would love and be loved by for eternity. believing that you waited your whole life, for everything in the universe to align, paving the path to meet the man you were fated for, the man you would call the one:

seo changbin.

"work's been good? school? life?" changbin's voice is quite soft and his tone is a bit awkward.

he's tiptoeing around his words, trying to figure out how you feel about him. weighing out what you could and couldn't speak about or if you should be speaking at all. the thought of overstepping and potentially making you uncomfortable sits in the back of his mind.

"they've been… more or less the same," you answer.

it's different without you, you think to yourself.

his absence was something you could never get used to after the breakup. three years later and that sense of emptiness looms over your head.

"i got promoted last year," you add.

"oh really? that's great to hear!" changbin's tone is excited but at the same time it's uneasy.

of course, he's excited, and he's proud of you but he still doesn't know how you feel about him right now. what if he makes you uncomfortable with too much excitement? or a lack of excitement? changbin's treading lightly.

"… uh… sorry–"

"—how about you? how have you been?" you're quick to cut him off.

if you didn't, changbin would go on rambling and apologizing; something you picked up on very early into your relationship. the man lying next to you apologizes for everything, regardless of if he is at fault or not. even if there is no fault, he finds himself apologizing anyway.

"last i remember you were working a big project."

changbin blinks, taken aback by the sudden interruption but he composes himself quickly, "o-oh! i've been doing good as well. happy that it's done."

"how'd it go?" you wonder.

"it was... definitely a lot more than we expected to take on. the clients decided they wanted to expand more on their vision. change up a lot of pre-made plans."

"ah, i see... i can't tell if that's good or bad?"

"i'd say it's both," you can hear the slight smile in his tone, "a lot of work done being scrapped which, y'know, isn't exactly ideal. but they agreed to pay us more which is good. i'd say we were rewarded adequately for the work we put in."

you hum, "well, then, i'm happy for you."

silence looms in the air between the two of you. neither of you knows what to say to the other, how to continue a conversation.

the both of you stare up at the stars overhead; most of which you aren't able to see on a daily due to the light pollution in the city. while there is a silence that has fallen between you two, it's not an uncomfortable one. neither of you are itching to escape an awkward atmosphere, to escape being around your ex. instead you find yourselves in a comfortable space in the presence of the one lying next to you.

basking in a presence neither of you has had the opportunity to be comforted by, let alone be around, in the past three years.

you find yourself instinctively fiddling with the ends of your hoodie sleeves, pulling them over your hands and hiding them inside. beside you, changbin adjusts his arm to rest behind his head while the other one rests on his stomach.

"y'know what this reminds me of?" he says suddenly, in a hushed tone, "reminds me of our two-year anniversary."

tearing your eyes off the sky, you turn your head to changbin's direction.

you let your eyes linger on him for a moment. entranced by how the stars and the moon illuminate his features in such a soft and gentle manner. it's been three years since you've been this physically close to changbin, let alone seen the man, you can't help but analyze his features like it's the first time. looking over the features you fell in love with way back when.

changbin looks just as amazing as ever, maybe even more attractive. he still sports those soft, dark curls in his shaggy hair that falls right under his eyes. he's more buff in comparison to when you last saw him three years ago.

the longer you let your eyes look over him, the more you're taken back, that sense of nostalgia washing over you. he's right, this moment is reminiscent of your two-year anniversary.

you remember the months leading up to that day as if it were yesterday.

you remember repeatedly asking your boyfriend how you two should celebrate the milestone that was coming just around the corner. in response, he would always say he would be the one to take care of everything and that all you needed to do was sit back and relax.

the boy was clad in light blue denim jeans, a navy varsity-styled jacket with a white shirt underneath, his hair tousled as it fell in front of his black-rimmed glasses when he knocked at your door. greeting your family before whisking you away for a night you will never forget.

changbin quite literally drove you off into the sunset, one hand gripping the wheel whilst his other held your hand in his. the both of you belting out to the playlist you created together, one that grew as each day passed.

by the time you arrived at your destination, the sun had set behind the skyline as the dark sky loomed over the city. you remember the way your jaw slacked in awe at the breathtaking sight of all the stars.

"i've never been this close to the stars! they're so much closer from up here!"

you stood there gaping at the stars for what felt like eternity, while changbin stood beside you, his eyes full of affection as he stared at you. oh, his eyes. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you. that night on the hill, you and changbin were laid next to each other on the hood of his car, cuddled in each other's arms as you talked about anything and everything that came into your minds.

there you were in the arms of your lover, alone together in your own starry heaven. everything seized to exist other than you and your intertwined hearts.

you and changbin, together against the world.

nothing will ever come close to that level of perfection. that ethereal moment you've etched into your brain, you'd much rather be damned than to have that moment wiped from your memory.

"yeah… it does. the sky, the stars… just... everything brings me back."

"it was definitely not as chilly that night," changbin smiles.

half of his statement refers to the weather and the other half refers to how you were huddled up next to him that night. as opposed to now, where the space between your bodies lets in a cool draft.

you chuckle and shake your head, "the weather was great, not too hot and not too cold. just perfect."

lying next to him, reminiscing on your two-year anniversary as a couple has a question popping up in your minds.

if given the chance, would you go back? would you choose each other again?

the question is nothing new. a recurring thought over the past three years.

over the past three years, you've collected a pool of unanswered questions regarding your relationship with changbin: the how's, what's, when's and why's. how could you not wonder? nothing in the world could surpass your love for seo changbin.

three years later and you have never loved as deeply as you have for the man beside you.

you're both listening to the steady breaths of the one lying next you as both your minds run a mile a minute. allowing a brief silence to settle before changbin is the one to break the silence.

"i'm sorry."

"sorry? ...for what?"

"just… everything."

when you turn to look in changbin's direction, your eyes meet for the first time that night. god, it feels as if your heart stopped at that exact moment. the delay was so long you could have dropped dead right there.

but you lived off the way your eyes locked with changbin's. finding your breath again with each twinkle of the stars reflecting off his black-rimmed glasses. finding your pulse starting up again, this time beating out of your chest as his deep brown eyes bore into your own. breathing the life back into you.

your gazes soften, a wave of nostalgia washing over the both of you; a memory of what you once had together.

a breath of the life you shared three years ago.

you stare at each other wordlessly. soaking in a feeling of comfort neither of you has felt in three years, one you only received from the one lying next to you.

"i'm sorry too. for everything."

"it's not your fault," he shakes his head, "i fell short in the end and i wasn't the boyfriend you deserved."

you're shaking your own head, "i was a terrible girlfriend. i wouldn't have stayed with me either."

"you were–are– amazing," changbin states, "you've always been."

"that's not true. don't say that, i know i hurt you with the things i said."

somewhere along the line of your relationship with changbin, things started to go awry. your lives began to clash; school and work priorities building and creating distance between you two. it felt like your relationship was slowly slipping away, schedules ran tight and pressures ran high.

you remember petty arguments, the back-and-forth bickering between the both of you when you were able to see each other.

"and i hurt you. i was never there when you needed me, i promised you that you could trust me, depend on me but i broke that in the end."

"that's not your fault. i couldn't be there when you needed me either."

"and that wasn't your fault either, our schedules didn't line up anymore."

"but… i could've tried har—"

"there was only so much we could do and you tried your absolute hardest," changbin interrupts you, "time just... wasn't on our side."

you hate to admit that even without the petty, groundless arguments, the end was inevitable.

your relationship no longer fit into the other's increasingly hectic schedule, any and all the attempts came with sacrifices with school or work, and in the end, there was no healthy way to incorporate that time for each other. all the time you did spend together was plagued by stress and high tensions, only pushing you two further apart.

no matter how hard you tried to salvage your relationship, everything else tried even harder to ruin it.

the anger and dejection only grew stronger as time passed. the both of you wondering why things weren't going your way no matter how hard you worked for it. you felt dejected that your efforts came without fruition. upset that the time you did have together was limited, fleeting and full of the pressures your individual lives were weighing on you.

"can i ask something?" your voice is almost inaudible but changbin hums in response, "why did you leave when you did?"

changbin blinks slowly as he processes your words.

"i didn't want things to get worse."

"what do you mean?"

"i didn't want to end things between us on a bad note. for us to part ways hating each other."

"i could never hate you."

"maybe, but we'd grow to resent each other even if we didn't mean to. wondering if our efforts were in vain, that no matter how hard we tried the universe worked harder against us."

"did you… resent me in the end?"

"i would've rather died instead of growing to hate or resent you."

your head snaps in his direction and his to yours. your eyes wide with shock at how he said that without hesitation.

"what we had between us, i didn't want it to be overshadowed by months of arguing."

changbin has never loved anyone the way he loves you.

early on in your relationship, changbin wholeheartedly believed you were the best thing to ever happen to him. no one cared for him, accepted him and understood him in the way you did. no one made him as happy as you did.

when he realized that your relationship became a source of stress in your increasingly hectic lives, he made the difficult decision to leave.

the people that come in and out of your life come either as a blessing or a lesson; changbin believes you are a blessing in his life.

people slip in and out of your life, fuck around and make you rethink everything. the memories of them are associated with the phrases: "i should have known better" or "you learn from your mistakes".

and he would rather be damned than to be a lesson.

he knew that with the direction both your lives were headed into at the time, the end was inevitable and if things between you two had to end then, in your out-of-control lives, he wanted the last semblance of control here.

"the thought of losing you scared me shitless," changbin continues, "but what scared me even more was that you could one day regret all of this, everything we had. that you would leave regretting ever loving me."

"… i didn't know you were thinking that way," your voice trails off at the end, thoughts still delayed as you process the words of your ex-boyfriend lying next to you.

you take a moment before you continue.

"at one point, i wasn't even mad or upset with you anymore... i was mad at the universe. the circumstances."

when you and changbin broke up, you often wondered what the universe had in store for you after such excruciating heartbreak. but the pain didn't even stop with changbin; it seemed like the universe had it against you as else in your life began to downward spiral.

you struggled to adjust to the growing hustle and bustle of your life while also struggling to adapt without your person.

oftentimes, you imagined taking a trek up to climb the tallest mountain in the world. exerting all that blood, sweat and tears for the opportunity to let everything out into the void. you imagined standing on the highest point on earth would be as physically close as you could get to the universe.

maybe from up there, the universe would be able to hear the desperation, the pain that came from wondering what you did to deserve this; to have loved so passionately and to have lost, to experience such excruciating pain.

if the universe didn't align for a life with changbin, you laid awake wondering what it did align for. if it would be worth it.

what could be more worth it than him?

with a bittersweet smile on your lips you say, "nothing aligned for us in this lifetime. maybe, in the next lifetime."

you're trying your hardest to control and suppress your emotions as your eyes gloss over, tears threatening to fall. changbin's eyes stay fixed on you as he, much like you did earlier, analyzes your features all over again as if it was the first time.

changbin pays close attention to every detail, etching it into his mind.

"whose to say that?" changbin's eyes meet your own once again, a glint present in his chocolate brown orbs, "this lifetime isn't over yet."

your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, meet changbin's. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you.

"in this lifetime and the next, i'll love you."

"does that mean you'll love me for eternity?"

"our love is so strong it transcends lifetimes. we'll always find our way back to each other."

main masterlist

#stray kids one shots #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #skz imagine #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids hurt/comfort #skz changbin angst #skz changbin imagine #skz changbin one shot #skz changbin oneshot #stray kids changbin angst #stray kids changbin oneshot #stray kids changbin imagine #seo changbin x reader

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creelteeth · 2 years

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|| perv!eddie this, perv!eddie that. someone hand over some perv!Steve harrington right now!!

this is entirely self indulgent. I am no writer butttt i'm gonna share cause I have Steve Harrington disease lately... not sure how to label or tag this. it's purely word vomit. not quite a drabble, but also not quite hc. idk!!

There's just not enough Perv!Steve out there.

read part two here

i want perv!steve whose had no luck with getting dates since summer ended and everyone but him went back to school.

perv!steve who’s going through his longest dry spell ever and god he’s so desperate for someone, anyone. small glimpses of stomachs and thighs on the occasional hot day as we head into autumn, and he’s done for. routinely rushing back to the break room to talk himself down from spilling over in his levis. trying his best to convince robin that he’s fine he just had bad food for lunch.

jeez, how many times can he eat the same unlucky burger? she knows him better than that and she thinks it’s disgusting.

perv!steve who can’t help but gawk at you as you walk through the video store aisles, bending over just slightly to pull a movie off the third shelf. the neckline of your shirt falling open just enough to show off part of your chest. your skin looks so soft. if only he could reach out and—..

perv!steve who chokes and stutters while ringing you out cause you took a piece of candy from the little bowl next to the register that they leave out for kids who come in and — god

he can’t believe you just licked your fingers in front of him.

he’s so fucking grateful for the counter that separates you cause otherwise you’d see how hard he is getting right now.

perv!steve who has to rush to the back room to take care of the ache between his legs the minute you leave. white knuckling the sink of the employee bathroom because you fumbled and dropped your change on the way out of the store and he got to see you crouch down. your shorts hiking up your thighs showing off nothing but yet somehow showing everything.

perv!steve who has to go to the bathroom immediately when he enters your house for movie night. he did not expect you to open the door in your skimpy little pjs.

christ, why are you wearing that? something so.. so small and see through in front of company.

he didn’t know what the deal was but fuck he was in awe of you. the image of your barely clad body painted on the inside of his eyelids as his hands smoothed over the growing bulge in his pants.

perv!steve who has to give himself a quick pep talk before he leaves the bathroom to meet you on the couch.

he's a good boy, he knows he is. its just a movie..who doesn't love a good movie night? just friends watching Back to the Future. there's nothing sexy about Marty Mcfly. there's nothing sexy about the thin fabric that draped itself over you and how he would give nothing more than to rip it right off to reveal the rest of you.

holding his breath as he walks over to plop down next to you, trying not to stare too hard but — fuck.. did he just see the outline of your nipple through your top?

it’s fine.. it’s. fine. don’t look again. just watch the movie, harrington.

perv!steve who cares soooo very much about your modesty, especially after you fall asleep. all he can do is stare. eyes scanning over you, up and down. over. and over. as if he’s searching for something. aha! he found it. your pitiful excuse for pajamas had hiked up around your soft perfect thighs, when you nestled into the corner of the couch. fucking hell, if he wasn’t such a gentleman he’d take advantage of this sight and reach into his jeans to relieve the aching, dripping, throbbing mess that’s built up.

perv!steve who found himself biting down on his knuckles watching you shift and turn in your slumber. your top wrinkling and bunching up even more. your nipples erect and protruding the paper thin fabric as the ceiling fan in your living room hit your uncovered body. he watches as your body reacts to the cold air. nipples prominent, goosebumps covering every inch of you. how could you be so careless?

it's like you wanted him to see. if only he could help you out, he'd be so kind to you. kiss the cold chills off your body, every. single. inch. starting at your ankles, up your legs, over your stomach, every curve, every crevice. he'd make you feel so fucking good..

no, he can't. this sight is enough, fuck, it might be more than enough to carry him over until he leaves.

perv!steve who just needs to touch you. he needs it. your body was so soft. not only did it look so heavenly, it was there, it was right there, and it would feel so fucking good in his hands but he can’t. he is much nicer than that. he's a good boy... but he has a solution.

perv!steve who takes the quilt hung over the back of the couch to cover your body. the stir beside you makes you shift a bit, your beautiful eyes fluttering open for just a moment—

"Steve?” you mutter quietly, the sight of him leaning over you has you confused.

he freezes, the quilt bunched up in his grasp. he shushes you with a simple "..was just covering you up."

he plays it cool, but holy shit, he could cream his pants right now. who knew the sound of his name in your mouth would make him shudder the way it did. pre beading off his swollen tip under the thick denim.

perv!steve who drapes you in the hand sewn quilt, it's as close as his hands have gotten to your body before. apart from that high five you gave him that one time .

he did his best to be good, he really did but he had to feel you just once. his finger tips finding the curve of your shoulder, gently dragging over the exposed skin. your skin was so soft, felt like velvet under his touch. he dragged his fingers down to grab the quilt that covered the parts he needed to look away from. bringing it back up and over your shoulder. you were still inbetween awake and asleep when he spoke again.

“ ’m gonna head out. see you tomorrow.." he speaks just above a whisper.

his jeans managing to get even tighter as you nod. moaning an "mhmmm.. g'night stevie" softly in response.

he’s gotta get out of here.

perv!steve who basically books it out of the house and into the car. not even bothering to fumble with the key in the ignition. he needs to take care of the throbbing mess that's going on. his fingers tripping over his zipper as he rushes to get himself free. he has to jerk off. now. he needs to use that very hand that he just finally touched you with to pull his cock out. he’s sitting in your driveway, spit falling off his tongue and into his hand. smearing the wetness all over his tender red tip. the groan he lets out is guttural.

he feels so fucking guilty but you’re not gonna know, right? Steve wastes no time, each tug of his cock is desperate and rough. it’s not gentle like you would do it but it’ll curb the craving for now. all he can think about is the sound of your voice when you said his name. the way your nipples protruded in your clothing. the way your voice was so smooth when it rang through his ears.

you’d sound so fucking pretty with his cock inside you. the noises he can't wait to hear fall from those pretty lips of yours. the way you'll fit so perfectly on his cock..

y-yeah

it'll stretch you right open. he'll make sure of it—

fucking.. fuck. oh my god.

he came quickly. hot sticky ropes landing in the thick strip of hair on his lower stomach. his chest heaving as he stares at your front door, almost as if he's waiting for you to come out and catch him like this. fucked out, limp, covered in mess.. all because of you. there's some guilt in him, but the high he felt from the time spent with you is much more prevalent. he can't wait for the next movie night. might even suggest a sleepover.

#s.h.#steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve x you #steve x reader #perv!steve #stranger things smut #idk what this is but I hope someone other than me enjoys it.#casey writes

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restinslices · 3 months

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CAN U DO EITHER EARTH REALM GUYS OR LIN KUEI GUYS RAISING LIKE A VAMPIRE KID?! Like as a baby they were just dropped off in front of their doorstep

Ok so I kinda like this paragraph format so here’s what we’re gonna do from now on. You can choose between the usual headcanons or this paragraph style. Now obviously there’s like, one shots and drabbles but you know what I mean. This is a quick thing. You still get the same information and thoughts. It’s just formatted differently. Idk how accurate this is but I attempted it.

Bi-Han is a mix of confused and annoyed. He knows he has to have a child because the Lin Kuei needs a new Grandmaster but he’s been putting it off. When a random baby is dropped on his doorstep, he’s beyond confused. You don’t just find the Lin Kuei by accident. You have to actively look for them, so that means he was specifically targeted. Targeted or not, he initially does not want to keep this baby at all and wants Liu Kang to find out where this baby came from and to find them a new guardian because he’s certainly not doing it. A baby is one thing, but that little terms and conditions note that says “btw they’re a vampire”? Absolutely not.

Bi-Han does the bare minimum at first. Keeps them out the sun, gives them blood (don’t ask where he’s getting it), keeps them away from any other harmful objects, stuff like that. Bi-Han somehow manages to get attached though, so when Liu Kang finds a guardian he’s like “they’re attached to me already. It’s probably safer here”. He isn’t sure how or when he became so attached but it happened and he has to accept that.

Bi-Han is the most strict parent and his kid would have the best control over their thirst. He’d have a strict schedule with them aswell. Hunting is from this time to this time, no you can’t eat anyone apart of the Lin Kuei, only night school, etc. He would focus heavily on discipline because if his kid has an emotional outburst, bodies are dropping. He probably ends up raising the most stereotypical brooding vampire ever. This kid is definitely being raised as an assassin too because Lin Kuei shit and also their powers give them a boost above others.

Bi-Han would have his vampire child on a tight leash. He might literally get a leash if they keep acting out. I’m not saying he’s a helicopter parent but if he looks away for one second, ten people could die. He’s raising a vampire but he’d still manage to be intimidating to them. Honestly I think his kid would be very isolated for both their safety and everyone else’s. Bi-Han is very aware of the troubles this kid could cause and I think his need to make sure they know how to handle themselves and his need to keep them safe would cause him to teach them how to do all this training when it comes to their thirst and powers but would also keep them isolated so it’s kinda like “what did I learn all this for?”.

They have a mixed relationship. It’s not all peaches and cream but there is a sense of caring there.

Kuai Liang is equally as confused. Anyone would be. A baby was given to him specifically and he has no idea why this is happening and who did it. While Bi-Han is more irritated at first, I think Kuai Liang is frustrated for a different reason. It’s a mystery and who just drops a baby off? What if he didn’t see them in time and they died in the sun? Whoever the parent was didn’t care and that bothers him and he is not afraid to voice how frustrated he is by this.

Kuai Liang also asks Liu Kang to figure out who did this. He assumes Liu Kang has eyes everywhere so he’s confused when Liu Kang has no idea who it was and is having difficulty finding them. Well… he has a baby now… guess he gotta take care of it. He does his best but who in their right mind would actually know what to do? He takes the same precautions you would expect when it comes to things that would harm the baby and he is very watchful. Although this is a responsibility that he doesn’t necessarily want, he understands that this baby can’t really go anywhere. Anyone else could purposefully harm them and I don’t see him being ok with that so they locked in now.

Kuai Liang is not a perfect dad by any means but he’s trying to make sure they survive. He tries to draw as little attention as possible so they’re not targeted. I can see him buying brown contacts and slathering them in sunscreen hoping it does something. I think the main conflict him and this kid would have is Kuai Liang subconsciously trying to ignore the very big elephant in the room. He knows they’re a vampire but since it adds so many problems for both of them, he accidentally acts like it’s something that can be cured. And I can see people thinking this is a more Bi-Han thing but I don’t think so. Kuai Liang’s compassion can be smothering and can be damaging sometimes. In my head he is the mediator whenever there is a conflict and this mediating skill goes overboard and fucks things over.

Kuai Liang would continue to keep a watchful eye on them, even as they got older. Idk why but I feel like he would try to encourage them to stick to an animal only diet but he wouldn’t be upset if they slipped from time to time. He tries to teach them about their abilities as best as he can but tries to be extremely careful since fire can kill a vampire. He’d try to do demonstrations and hope that their powers can match each other if they’re the type of vampire that has telekinesis or something like that. Like I said, he’d try to raise this kid like it’s a regular baby which would only work for a certain amount of time.

Also a mixed bag of a relationship. His subconscious denial and trying to fix what’s not broken would fuck him over.

Tomas was orphaned later in life but he’d still be upset by this situation. He’s not happy at all about someone abandoning their baby and giving it to someone who honestly isn’t in the best situation to raise a baby. That’s where his irritation would mainly stem from. This scooby doo ass mystery would also annoy him. He’s not mad at this kid though because he knows that this baby is a victim. They didn’t ask for this and he can’t just give them away because who is gonna take care of a vampire baby? No one but him.

Tomas isn’t ready for a kid at all. The brothers aren’t either but as the oldest and the head of their own clan at some point, they know a kid has to happen. Tomas hasn’t really thought about kids at all. They’re there and maybe it’ll happen but he’s never had this “imma have to have kids for my clan” mentality. A kid is already difficult but a vampire? He’s completely lost and needs assistance. Certain quirks vampires have, like vampire children aging very slowly is draining this man. If you think it’d be the opposite and the kid would age rapidly, that’s confusing him too. Anything that’s not the normal when it comes to aging is making his head hurt. Plus the other complications.

Tomas becomes a helicopter parent. Bi-Han is maybe getting a leash but Tomas definitely is. All this helicopter shit comes from a place of concern but this kid can’t take a single step without Tomas on their heels worried about them. He ends up doing a lot of stuff for them and holding their hand through everything which isn’t good for any child but especially not good for a future murderer. All of this would cause a rebellious phase and this kicks his ass so bad. Normal kids become emo and role play on Amino. Vampires rebel by eating everything they see and now Tomas is chasing them through an alleyway trying to calm them down. This is probably one of the few times he regrets taking them in.

Tomas would have to learn to let them do them. They gotta figure out this vampire shit by themselves and get some assistance from him. Stepping away from this serious stuff, I can honestly see him dressing them in the most cliche shit ever because Johnny showed him a bunch of movies and now he assumes this is how it’s supposed to go. I mean it is the 21st century and he has this child in Victorian clothing. Other people have to tell him “Tomas… get that baby a t shirt and jeans”. Where is my proof? I don’t know. I just feel like after MK1 he’ll hang around the Earthrealm champions more and that’s not good.

Is that a helicopter? No that’s Tomas. He means well but movies and over worrying is this man’s downfall.

None of the brothers are perfect fathers and they’re definitely making mistakes if a vampire is involved. They have different feelings about this whole situation but they learn to accept this situation and do genuinely care for this kid.

#mk1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han sub zero #bi han #kuai liang scorpion #tomas vrbada smoke #kuai liang #kuai liang mk1 #tomas vrbada #bi han headcanons #kuai liang headcanons #tomas vrbada headcanons #bi han mk #bi han mortal kombat #scorpion kuai liang

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wannaeatramyeon · 11 months

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hello good afternoon, english is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes😔❤️

I would like to request a hc from the htf guys, How would they react to a very flirtatious reader?

I mean- imagine them bending down to tie their shoelaces and suddenly the reader points at them or tells them that they have a nice butt JUST IMAGINE IT BRO😭

Anon! AND EVERYONE. Please stop apologising for your English. I am a native english speaker, and mine is dogshit. You should also listen to me irl, my vocab is infinitely worse.

HTF Boys responding to "NICE BUTT!"

Taehoon: Oh yeah? Pervert. Why don't you come closer.

This will end in one of three ways

Ignoring you. What? You think you're the first person that has ogled his butt? He knows he has a nice body. Dream on, dipshit.

A harsh kick to the face. Why? Why not. Because you deserve it for being a perv and Taehoon is in one of his moods.

Headlock and a rough kiss, with his hands wandering to pinch your butt.

Wangguk: [blushing]

Not one for being in front of the camera and has a reserved and standoffish nature.

All in all, not used to people simping over him or complimenting him outright.

Doesn't really know what to say, but will take it to heart.

Every time he bends over in front of you (which happens more often that you think for some reason), he will blush and think of your compliment.

It's also sort of hard to miss given that whenever he even thrusts his ass out slightly, you are staring so hard, you're boring holes into it (boring more assholes, if you will).

Munseong: [brain breaks] Th-thanks. I squat 300lbs. I do lower body 3 times a week.

Much like Wangguk, he doesn't really know what to say.

Although he is used to people admiring him from his time in the spotlight with UFC matches.

You telling him he has a nice butt breaks his brain. Breaks it so hard he can't really comprehend what you're saying. He can't even blush.

Defaults to talking about fitness. "Thanks bro, I rep 300lbs. Whats your max?"

Well no, he doesn't call you bro or tell you his max but will ramble a little about his workout routine and then he just...

Trails off and stares at you with soft eyes.

Yeonwoo: *also blushing* thanks Y/N. I squat 350lbs and do hill sprints for fun 🤓

Definitely knows you're flirting with him.

He gets a lot of attention in school and from his old Study channel. Knows the vibe you're putting out.

His first love though is Kyokushin Karate and he WILL use it as an excuse to tell you about his routine.

So passionate about it, eyes sparkling and vibrating with excitement that you can't bring yourself to shut him up.

Better yet. You think he has a nice butt? "Would you like to join me on my hill sprints?"

Hobin: T-thanks! I've been upping my training.

[Internally] SENPAI NOTICED ME!

Jinho: Thank you.

What did you honestly expect from this psychopath?

Gratitude? Blushing? Stammering? Absolutely not. He stays aloof and cool.

You're lucky he didn't just ignore you and remembered his manners.

Seongjun: [does a little booty shake]

Idk man

I'm not even sure he would do that but imagine him with his partner being all goofy.

If you compliment his ass, he would do something silly to make you laugh.

OOC, but isn't the visual too cute to pass up?

Snapper: sorry, you talking to me?

Huh?? Someone is paying Snapper attention? The camera guy?

Freezes when you nod and tell him: "YES. YOU, JIHYEOK. YOU HAVE A NICE BUTT."

Poor guy, so confused. Tilts his head like a lil puppy, unable to understand the words.

(Completely rizzless so no-one has told him that at all.)

Replays it over and over in his head until it hits him that "Oh shit, does Y/N like me?"

Still not sure and thinks it's a mistake until he bends over again and you shout the same thing.

Mangi: Thank you! [blushing furiously] Y-your butt is nice too!🥺

Duh? Of course Mangi has a cute butt. He's adorable and cute all over.

Will return your compliment even if he doesn't think you have a nice butt too because that's just Mangi.

Besides, have you seen Ssireum wrestlers? Built like a TANK. Mangi has got CAKE.

Haesu: ?

"Wake me up when there's food."

[goes back to napping]

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ummmlife · 8 months

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Poor, sad, miserable teen!Nanami

Warnings!: post Haibara's death Nanami ; teen nanami ; angst (?) ; fluff (?) ; nanami×reader ; she / her pronouns reader ; reader is Nanami's (check on the translator) senior (aka Gojo's age) ; headcanon, drabble, idk, i wrote. if something doesn't makes sense, my sincerest apologies for not knowing how to speak english properly 🫠

We already know that teenage Nanami was a very pessimistic and unsociable person. While our adult Nanami is an exemplary person who knows social norms well and follows them perfectly, teenage Nanami was not like that. He was trained to be an adult from the young age of 15 (I assume because of Itadori's age).

But what events happened to turn Kento Nanami from an inexperienced (emo) teenager to an exemplary adult?

Tragedies, that's what happened.

In our modern society we know and understand that child labor is something inconceivable and even illegal in many countries, I mean, it is written in human rights. So we could assume that Jujutsu society operates the same way... Hahaha no. Good grief, if that were so there would be no such thing as manga/anime (Akutami you're cruel).

Why would we believe that in a society commanded by conservative and traditionalist elders, who (and this is my thought) surely rejoiced when Japan was a colonizing empire during WWII, would protect children? In this cruel world you learn to survive, and burdened with the curse of being a Jujutsu Sorcerer you have no escape.

So Nanami, against his will and coming from a family of non sorcerers, is forced to settle in this rotten society.

If being a sorcerer is a very low possibility, probably much lower than winning the lottery, it would not be difficult to expect that in a single class there would be one or at most three Jujutsu students. This was the case with Nanami and Haibara. Two kids with completely different personalities and motivations who, by the vagaries of the universe, ended up in the same situation together (and with the same fate awaiting them. Crying).

Nanami, yes, was a pessimistic, introverted, grumpy teenager, but at least he had Haibara with him who, even if he never said it out loud, gave him hope that maybe and just maybe being a sorcerer wasn't so bad.

Hell only knows the pain and despair the death of his only friend caused Nanami.

To be born into a faded world only to meet a rainbow and then have it snuffed out by a typhoon, yeah, it wasn't easy. Nanami could even understand why Suguru Geto, who by the way Haibara was a fan of, decided to become a Curse User. For Nanami himself the temptation was so much, so palpable and easy to choose. But he knew that: 1. Haibara wouldn't have liked it, 2. Following Geto's path would have mentally exhausted him more and 3. He couldn't afford to hurt more fellow Jujutsu Sorcerers.

That is why Nanami was only looking forward to his graduation day, but silently. He wished to simply disappear, not only from the Sorcerer profession but also from this world.

Nanami was lost, mired in depression and no one seemed to care. If everyone was so busy minding their own business then he had to mind his own life as well. Go on missions alone, study alone, fight alone, eat alone, live and wait to die alone.

— "Are you sleeping well? I notice you're more exhausted than before."

Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought, maybe he mattered to someone: his senior.

Another sorceress a year above him, a classmate of Gojo and Ieiri. A sweet and caring girl for whom, at some point when Haibara was still alive, Nanami felt loving feelings for her begin to surface.

— "Yeah... I'm fine."

Lying is bad but worrying others is worse.

Nanami was eating lunch, alone as usual, a sandwich he made himself. Sitting on the stairs outside the school listening to the cicadas and the sound of the leaves on the trees moving in the soft autumn wind. His senior sat beside him, in complete silence, knowing full well that Nanami is not a big fan of social interactions.

— "I hear you've perfected your innate Cursed Technique..."

Still, she tries to dialogue with him. At least a little bit.

— "Yeah…"

Nanami might feel uncomfortable, but the closeness of his senior makes him feel calm, it makes him feel peace.

In a world where children are forced to live and think like adults in life and death situations, the company of someone who is at least a little more mature is comforting.

— "I miss him too, you know? Haibara."

It hurts, it hurts so much. Nanami stops eating as he feels his stomach twist with the memories of that fateful day when Haibara was killed because of a mistake by the adults, they sent them to their death and it was all because of a mistake. Nanami closes his eyes and breathes in an attempt to calm his anxiety.

This has happened before, indeed, it happens every night. Nanami hasn't been able to sleep well since the Haibara incident, having no one to comfort or hold him when he cries his soul out before trying to sleep.

That's why the moment he felt his senior's delicate hands bringing his head to her shoulder to comfort him it completely threw him off. It felt good, warm for the first time.

— "If you keep holding back you're going to end up hurting yourself even more."

That sentence alone was enough to make Nanami completely break down in tears. It was the first time in years feeling comfort from someone in such an intimate and satisfying way.

Nanami cried, hugged and clung to his senior as he had never done with anyone before, only maybe with his mother when he was a child. He couldn't contain himself when he felt her lips gently pressing against his crown of his head, it was like a dream.

— "Can I ask you not to leave?"

It was so embarrassing but so necessary for him to ask that. Her senior's soft and sweet smile was like a gift to his aching heart.

— "I don't plan to go anywhere."

*sobs* Emo Nanami, so cute ‹𝟹 must protect!!!!!

#jjk nanami #nanami headcanons #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #teen!nanami #nanami drabbles #nanami angst #nanami fluff #nanami headcanon #teen nanami #. bibi's writing

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sunnysunsins · 2 months

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Since recently everything here has been taken over by dipshits who lack media literacy, i will come back here to say - RWBY is a good show. It is good. It has good story and good writing and good characters. Does it have stumbles and limitations? Of course, like everything else ever created. Is it the real reason yall are dedicating your lives to religiously following and picking apart every detail to find something, anything, to hate on and make it your whole personality? Nah.

Yall are just pissy your hc wasn't canon. And i'm only half-joking.

Yall are just stuck in the expectation of "cute girls in school fighting monsters and baddies", which it hasn't been for almost a decade. Let Beacon fucking die already, it was the most boring part of the story anyway. If you like it so much, watch.. idk, high guardian spice. Or maybe my hero academia, it has godawful writing too with your favorite Adam-like and Ironwood-like archetypes you adore so much.

And if you didn't click off already in hissy rage, and want to challenge me on the writing point:

Yall are complaining about pacing, characterization lacking, skipped development, insert some other reason, how "show went to shit after volume 3". Well, newsflash, look back at volume 1. REALLY look at it, without your nostalgia boner.

How, in what actually can fit into 3.5 full-length episodes, it skips a whole semester with only a few moments shown in like 3-8 minutes. Notice how Ruby and Pyrrha interacted like 2 times in 3 volumes total. Ruby and Penny? Yeah, they barely interacted too. Ren hasn't talked to rwby girls at all aside from ensemble scenes.

Too many characters in later volumes? Honey, 1-3 had SO many pointless grunts and you ate them up. The whole Vytal festival was filled with them.

Can you tell me the plot of volume 2 from the top of your head? Yeah, me neither. If i think maybe i can remember there was a mecha fight, a dance and a train, but beyond that what was the point of that entire volume again?

Your favorite, pedestalled, volume 3, most of which is fighty-fighty filler and the only stuff you actually remember when jizzing your pants about it is last 3 episodes.

Most character interactions and development happened after Beacon arc. Most actual plot and bigger story happened after it too. Yall are stuck circlejerking to *filler*, setup, which only purpose was to show the status quo to later destroy it and start to show the real picture.

Do you know why v4 and 5 feel so empty and missing something? Sure, juggling multiple plots gave it's pacing issues too, but it felt empty because there were no side characters to fill out the world and make it feel alive. V5 cast was so tiny it felt like nobody interacted at all. Because there were none of those "extras" yall hate on so much. The extras make the world feel real. Which is why Atlas feels alive when Mistral wasn't.

The most complaints about later volumes are chucked down to lack of media literacy and nuanced reading of situations and characters. Translated for your easier understanding: the writing was too nuanced for your "cute girls go fighty fighty brrr" brain to comprehend. Sometimes things require you to put the situation into character perspectives. Sometimes their decisions are made under stress + personality + influence of events and interactions. But i guess yall don't want to think, yall just want to watch "girl go brrr killy killy monster"

I can continue writing down all these other points, but i'm hungry and should get up so i won't. Bottom text: RWBY is a good show with good story and good writing and good characters. It has struggles and fumbles like every other piece of media. But for some reason, because it's indie, it's held to a much higher standard and everyone feels entitled to pick apart every detail of it to make themselves feel justified for feeling sad over their dead headcanons, even though they'd never do the same picking for big production popular series with much *much* worse writing than even the worst of RWBY's fumbles.

If you made it this far and are a member of rwde, congratulations, you still have a reasonable bone or few. Most others i guess clicked off at first point and blocked me after sending me some kinda death threat, idk, i haven't posted this yet after all.

So yeah, feel free to leave your takes and death threats below, i'll happily discuss further later

#rwby #rwby analysis #rwby is good #rwde #anti rwde #greenlight volume 10 #crwby #save crwby

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liesmyth · 17 days

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Further to Keeley saying yes to marrying Roy (definitely agree), how much would Roy only be asking because he thinks that's what you do. Like he's retired, he's forty, and all his former teammates are married/have kids. He's a traditional guy (kind of) - would he have waited for them to have been together for two years (or whatever) and then proposed because that's the next step?

Context: this is a follow-up to this 'unpopular opinion meme' ask where I said that (to me, etc) Keeley would've said yes if Roy ever asked her to marry him post S2.

In general, I just looove to overthink gender roles and performative heterosexuality with these characters, because the mix of sports series + juicy queer dynamics is like catnip to my brain — so thank you for this ask so I can ramble about it some more!

The thing is. I think Roy's actually not very traditional for a footballer (let alone a very famous one) simply because he's close to forty and he's never been married and doesn't have kids. Like, genuinely, that makes him a huge oddity in his set. If I were applying RL football logic to the football show that plays fast and loose with realism, I'd say that there must be a lot of speculation in-universe that Roy is gay. OR maybe he's had so many public short-term flings that there's only a little speculation — but there would still be people thinking it's strange. Just because "WAG and kids" is such a big aspect of how football stars are expected to perform masculinity, and Roy not having any of that (while at the same time performing a very specific brand of 'old school' tough guy masculinity) would make him a weird anomaly.

(When talking to non-sports fans, I usually find it useful to compare pro athletes to active-duty military personnel as two categories that on average start a family very young. It's a mix of a family providing more stability in a hectic career + expectations in those circles because everyone else is doing it + financial reasons that mean is more convenient to do it now than to wait)

(Again. Reflecting on social norms in footballers' circles makes me think a lot about what Keeley's expectations might have been pre-S1, when she kept dating footballers and moving in those same circles, whether the fact that she was with a young guy at 30 bothered her more than she let on, etc etc. This is also part of why I think she absolutely would say yes if Roy proposed — see also her reaction to Shandy saying that all their former flatmates "married footballers", which is just like "yeah, fair enough". I think pre-season 3 she just never saw her life going in a different direction, and was fine with it — at least until S3 made her consider stuff she might not have otherwise)

Anyway SORRY I went off!! Back to Roy — all that ramble was to say that, TO ME, if he wanted to be married, he absolutely would be already, way before the show started. It's something he must have considered earlier in life, just because it's a staple of the Ideal Footballer Career Path, and for whatever reason decided he wasn't keen on it. And it wasn't a one-off earlier — it's something people would have commented on it over and over, as all his teammates started families and he didn't, as the tabloid press speculated on his private life. It's not that he never had the opportunity; it's that he actively chose not to. So I'm not sure retirement would necessarily be the thing that makes him decide that "it's time" to get married. We see that in S2 he really throws himself into ~playing house~ with Keeley because he's trying to find a new life anchor after retirement, but idk if that would necessarily translate, to him, into "next step is getting married." Because, for someone in Roy's position, getting married would have been "the next step" ten years ago, and he was like, nah!

I also think that "when will Roy and Keeley get married" WAS an expectation that was very much present in the eyes of everyone who interacts with them, at least from the moment it became clear that they were serious and basically living together. Tabloid speculation, old friends of Roy who're also retired, friends and acquaintances of Keeley who also move in those 'D-list celebs / influencers / WAG' kind of circles. Their families, even; I have a very elaborate headcanon built off that one (1) throwaway line that Roy wanted to open the champagne when Keeley's mum "moved back north", that maybe Keeley's mother was a bit too happy to see her settled down with an older man for once, and they're living together, and he's very famous and very rich. My other headcanon is that Keeley dropped Shandy / her old friends after she got with Roy partly because there'd have been some wink-wink-nudge from those corners about "landing Roy Kent" (I have WAY too many thoughts about Keeley and Shandy, lol).

...Anyway. This is all to say. I think, between the two of them, Keeley might have been the one who vaguely considered that maybe marriage could be on the horizon as a next step, because she's a woman over 30 in circles where women over 30 get reminded of these things. Roy has the luxury of thinking about it less, because he decided years before the show that he wasn't going to get pressured into an early marriage just because it's The Done Thing.

I can believe Keeley and Roy never discussed marriage all through the year-odd they were dating, but I bet multiple people brought it up to Keeley unprompted, and to Roy also but to a lesser extent, and he was able to shrug it off way more easily. Keeley is probably dodging old friends who text her happy birthday and then are like "how are things going with RoyKent(TM)??" wink. babe you landed the big fish!! etc. etc.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG! this is like 80% headcanons that's partly inspired by me being A Sports Fan, partly by me overthinking Keeley's narrative, especially in S1 and S2 when she was still allowed to have neuroses and a meaningful friendship with Rebecca. But I'm ALWAYS thinking about Roy/Keeley not only as a ship but also in the context of the very specific gendered dynamics that exist among top-flight footballers and their partners, especially in the UK. It's just anthropologically fascinating to me, and I think S1 especially does a very good job of hinting at all the various nuances with Keeley's character.

#Anonymous #ask #ted lasso #WOW THIS GOT LONG SORRy #roykeeley

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ircn-dad · 2 years

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Sometimes I think about Tony's life before Iron Man and I just feel bad for that man.

He spent his entire childhoods in a house where he wasn't loved for who he was. His dad didn't payed attention to him and mentally abused him (idk if in the MCU he was physically abused too, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was), his Mother- even if she wasn't bad and was lovely- always tried to justify Howard's action towards him (during the BARF scene we can see an example of her actions). Living in a house like this, where you feel no one is at your side is exhausting. Where everyone expect from you the best, and even if you try it, you won't ever be enough for your parents.

He entered at MIT at only fourteen, so that means (I guess) he never went to school with his peers. At seven years old he enters at the Philips Academy and it's a secondary school. Despite his outgoing behaviour, I don't think a little kid is comfortable around people much older. I don't think he even had real friends before going to MIT because even if he was more mature than his age, I don't believe a lot of teenagers or pre teens were ready to befriend with a kid.

So, no friends at school and not a good relationship with his family. He must have felt lonely for 14 years, and when he goes to MIT he decides to change. He puts a mask on and begins his new behaviour. He starts going to parties, to drink and to act cool around people to be liked and appreciated. I remember reading some fake testimonials that Marvel made to honorate the release of Iron Man 3, testimonials about how some ex students remembered Tony at MIT and two of them said:

“No one really knew him, he was just a rich kid. Everyone wanted him around, though, because he'd always bring something fun for the party.”

“I remember him at after-parties on Thayer Street. He was up later than anyone else. But you could always get a ride home with him, because he always had a car.”

No one knows the real him because that's what he does: he hides him self behind parties, fun and this kind of stuff to just be noticed by someone. Some people might say that he just wants to be at the centre of the attention, and yes that's true and it is a bad thing, but ever wondered why? Imagine being a kid, who has no friends, who's father hates you and you feel like no one will ever love you, until you find a way to be finally appreciated. You found a way to have someone who notices you after years of loneliness. I can't speak for everyone, but I would have done the same thing.

He keeps doing this for years and years. He lost his parents, he lost Jarvis and he has to take responsibility for his father's company at 21. He doesn't want that, he just wants to have fun and to distract him self from the reality because half of his life, at the time, was just empty, with no one taking care of him. So he practically leaves the company to Obadiah and he just spends more than 10 years trying to fill that void.

Why do you think he was a playboy?

Now... I don't know if that could be possible in the MCU, but in the comics he was assaulted at fourteen by a woman who was way older thank him That was the first time ever he was touched by someone like that, and even if he was a genius I wouldn't be too surprised (again) to find out he was taking refuge from his problems in s*x. He probably thought that was love, that the only reason someone could really love him was to make s*x with them and to make them feel pleasured (we could apply this logic even if he wasn't assaulted). I can think of other fictional characters who are Playboys (Barney Stinson from "how I met your mother" for example) in which is heavily implied that the only reason they act that way is because they need to feel loved.

Ten years of doing this, and you think he would be able to recover? Ofc no.

He has Rhodey, He has Pepper, He has Happy (and he has Obadiah but we don't talk about that man in this house), He has moneys, fame, he can finally have fun, he can drink and have all the women he wants. His life seems perfect, but we all know that's a lie.

He has everything, but he still has nothing, as Yinsen said.

And Tony, after being kidnapped for three months knows that. He knows his whole life was empty at that point. He said it him self when Yinsen asked him if he had a family out the cave. He just said no, he thinks no one is waiting for him to come back. For 38 years of his life he had nothing to live for, and even though we know how much his friends cared about him, he's not aware of that because he thinks they care for the mask he created for him self when he was young. At the age of 38, he still thinks no one could ever love the real him, because he doesn't love him self.

That's why I hate when people says he's immature, narcissistic and egocentric. Is he aware he is a genius? Yes. It's not bad to know that, especially when everyone expected him to be one since he was born. But that doesn't mean he's narcissistic. He acts like he's better than everyone else, but in reality he feels like the worst person ever. How can a narcissistic person think how their girlfriend deserves so much better than him? (As he said in Iron man 3). How can someone be egocentric and then puts other's life before him every single time, or when he's one of the few who cared for everyone, and who was ready to sacrifice himself for a world who never loved him? How can people even assume he thinks he's better than everyone when he admits himself he's just a man in a tin can?

If you can't see that during all the movies that he covers him self with an armour- not iron man, an INVISIBLE ARMOUR made of humour, sarcasm and fake self-esteem- to protect him self from further pain, then I suggest you to rewatch the movies.

Tony Stark is one of the most human and well written characters in the MCU, it's sad that not a lot of fans (and almost everyone in the marvel universe as well) can't see that.

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