#im tagging it since i kinda mention a little something between the lines

[regardingjenmish]

Not to be a dick but let people enjoy stuff. This show and finale was good. And to get upset with people because they enjoyed it, is so fucking dumb. Especially since the reason you are angry is because something that you decided without anyone saying will happen (that lets be real we all knew wont happen) didn’t happen. Or at least be upset but not in my inbox or/and with me. I’m not a little kid that you get to chastise because you’re angry with me liking something.

#anywaaaay #like just dont #im not the one or the two bc ill just delete it #i dont have the time for this #spnwin spoilers #im tagging it since i kinda mention a little something between the lines

[pixelkip]

Curiosities of Lotus Asia ch. 35 has an Aibo in it and I'm gonna be a nerd about it.

Ok I have no idea just how many touhou fans are aware of Laika, Rinnosuke's robot dog introduced in CoLA ch35 but if you're not aware, he finds this robot and it causes all sorts of chaos and wrecks his shop, and they eventually find out its possessed by a puppy spirit. If you're at all curious, go read it on the touhou wiki if you haven't already.

How do I know for sure that it's an Aibo? Well, on top of the fact it definitely resembles one, Sumireko suggests naming it Aibo and in BAiJR Aya literally says it's an aibo. This is one of the few things she probably didn't lie about in this book bc how the hell would she otherwise even know what an aibo is TO be able to lie about it.

(Side note, the official name is just "AIBO", im not sure why she calls it AIBO buddy here, maybe bc aibo is a pun on the japanese word meaning buddy but why tack it onto the end? Idk)

Ok for those who don't know what an aibo is, it's a series of robot dogs Sony made, there were several models released between 1999-2006, and later had the ers-1000 in 2018 which is still available (and I personally have an ers-111 :3)

Pictured: aibo models ers-310, 220, 110, 210, and 7

Ok, so, what kind of AIBO is Laika then?

This is where it gets.. confusing.

this line from sumireko would imply it's an ers-110, as it was the very first model of aibo ever released.

But.. laika doesn't look much like a 110

Ok the way she's drawn doesn't look that close to ANY real model of aibo, but the drawing makes her look more like a 210, with the (probably) white coloration, visor shape, and upturned ears.

(110 vs 210)

It's also possible she doesnt resemble any model too closely to avoid copyright issues, but even then she visually resembles a 210 much more than a 110.

Other than that ch35 doesn't give us much else to determine her model, she doesn't display any particular behaviors that would indicate it, rinnosuke says her expressions can't be read implying her eye lights are non functional, and that she's completely silent. Aibos LOVE to make noise, and usually communicate through music and tones, so it's likely the animal spirit is simply pup-petting (hehe) a nonfunctional aibo body. Rinnosuke also mentions that it's begun to actually listen to him, which would imply a 210 or later (110 and 111 do not have voice recognition) if it weren't for the possibility that again, it's just the puppy controlling it.

So there's a few possibilities here.

- zun didn't depict her to be any particular model to not get smited by sony's lawyers

- she is a 110 but for whatever reason, be it a miscommunication or just zun or the artist deciding it didn't matter that much, that isn't reflected in the art

- sumireko is wrong, and she is a 210

Or maybe she's just a 110 with some cool customization, like paint and custom ear pieces. Then again, she did pass into gensokyo meaning she's been totally forgotten, and that seems less likely if someone took the time to customize her.

So now im curious. Given the evidence, what do YOU think laika is? Even if you didn't know shit about aibo before this post, hell, ESPECIALLY if you didn't, what do you think?

Personally I kinda like to think she's a 210 bc I think they're neat. Maybe even a gold 210, since the yellow tinge in the cover art makes her look like the very pale gold of the pale gold 210s. But as an existing aibo enjoyer I'm a little biased

I really hope laika gets to come back at some point, I have a little bit of hope since beast spirits as a plot point have become a lot more significant. She seems like a very good doggy :]

If you for some reason read all of this thank you for indulging my insanity

#touhou #touhou project #laika touhou #guess whos obsessing over characters no one cares about again #aibo #i talked about aibo so much in this post i might as well tag it l #curiosities of lotus asia

[klahadores]

✨ let's play 10 Qs for GK! 🎆

1- fave character besides harvey/twoface? 2- fave harvey/twoface scene? 3- fave dynamic between 2 characters? 4- best character development? 5- most memorable line? 6- fave plot twist? 7- what did you think of twoface? 8- something you loved about the creation/design? 9- anything you would change about the season 1 plot or characters? 10- what did you think of the season 2 setup?

💌 thanks for sharing the love! #GothamKnights 🦇💋

SLAYYYYY i love quesitons about htingsss this is how i look rn answeirng these btw 👇🏽

in addition to harvey/two face (because he really was showstopper sawwy to the knights), but i reallyyyyy adore duela. not only was she hilarious, her character arc/development throughout the show was great. always enjoyed whenever she was on screen i was like omfgggg my bestie !!

where do i even begin......the one that sticks out in my little brain of mine is when harvey overdoses on his anxiety meds and meets face to face with harv/fugue!harvey. that was absolutely incredible and i replay that scene in my head like a rotisserie chicken bc those writers put their whole pussy into it

at first i was going to say duela and carrie because their dynamic was soooo much fun but after 1x13, harvey and duela pulled my heartstrings like damnnnnnn i did ackshully tear up at that monologue naurrr don't let my mutuals know that. honorable mention are the row siblings because WAHHHHHHH 🥺😭 they mean so much to me

i mentioned duela's development in my first answer and i am not very eloquent with words if we're being honest but the way that she gained a sense of purpose and wanting to actually help gotham through all the trials and tribulations that were thrown at her...really wish we got to see more of that

it's a toss up between "big dent energy" and "guess who rode of the bat wang" .....honestly anything that comes out of duela's mouth is funny as hell who let her be that way

hmmmmmmmmmmm my fave was def harvey being duela's dad. did i call it from a mile away? yes, but it was absolutely satisfying to be right. i actually cheered out loud and punched the air MWAHHH

gosh, when we finally got to see his whole entire face, that shit was absolutely terrifying in a good way. interesting way of how rebecca was the one to toss that acid on his face. sadly, as much as it was all scrumdillyumptious, two face had like a total of three minutes of screentime and we will more than likely never see him again....does anyone have james gunn's number i need to ask him for a favor,

im not following any of the cast and crew of gk pero i have seen some of their tweets and the level of dedication these people put into the show....anyways, everything was so well thought out,,,i nominate the bat cave that shit was really cool. loved the water concept since it wasn't done before in the dc universe

LOL ermmmm, *scratches neck* is this thing on.....NOT to be mean or anything but i wish there was more action. as much as i luv the pauses for breath, i also luvvv ffight sequences. also a part of me thinks the show dragged a little. i know it was only 13 episodes but 18 would've been better. and though i loved the funny bits, sometimes i wish the show took itself seriously. they tried to target to gen z but mannn, at times i had to kinda duck my head bc it was embarrassing and i'm not even gen z. idkk i cant be too harsh on the show bc they did what they could and i enjoyed it overall!!

where is the s2 blueprint ik they're sitting somewhere in the producers' houses....but yeah, i actually liked how gotham knights ended! it works well ffor a mini series. the ambiguity of it all is ripe with possibilities for the fans to gnaw on. turner being trained to become the next batman, the gotham knights putting their boots back on to save the city thinking turner is gone for good, harvey allowing harv to take over with the potential of becoming a major problem....tag me in any stories you write, you guys 👍🏽❤

#ask #omgggg thank you saurrrrr much for sending me this ask i had a blast answering these <333 #everyone go watch gotham knights right neowwww if my dad who owned a comic book store enjoyed it you will to ^_^

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101

warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........) word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway

**********

The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.

"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"

"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."

"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"

Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"

"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."

"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."

"Suuuure."

"Is this why you called me?"

He giggled. "Yeah, but—"

Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.

With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.

After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."

George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"

"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.

"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.

It was silent for a second before, "Hi."

"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."

She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.

"So, um... are you ready for our date?"

"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."

"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.

She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"

"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."

"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"

"No, you're always perfect."

She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.

She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.

Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.

"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.

"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."

"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"

"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.

"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.

"I, uh... oh."

"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."

"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.

"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."

Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"

She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.

"OW! BUG!"

"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."

Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.

"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."

"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."

Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"

"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"

She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."

"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.

"We'll see about that..."

"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."

"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.

"Good, save the programming talk for later."

"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.

"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."

"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."

"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think—what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"

"WhAT?"

"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."

"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."

"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."

"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"

"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."

She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.

Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.

They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"

"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.

"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"

"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?

"Really? You wanna build a home together?"

Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."

He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"

"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."

There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.

"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.

"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.

"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"

"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.

He paused again. "....no."

She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.

"So, a house?"

"A house."

"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"

"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."

"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."

"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she said defensively, giggling.

"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.

"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"

"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.

"You always this agreeable?"

"Only to you."

"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"

Dream laughed so she continued.

"I think we should build a treehouse."

"A treehouse?"

"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."

"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."

"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."

"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"

"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"

Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."

"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"

"Dark oak."

"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."

"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.

"Dark oak planks..." she started.

"Mhm."

"Stone bricks..."

"Go on."

"And green wool for accents."

"Well, now you're just pandering."

"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."

"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."

"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."

40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.

"What if...."

"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"

"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."

"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.

"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."

"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"

She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"

"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."

"Oh, like a romantic spot?"

"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."

"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"

"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."

"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"

"Beds," Y/n corrected.

"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."

"Who said we're putting out beds together?"

"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."

She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.

It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.

"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.

"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"

"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."

"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."

"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."

"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"

"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."

"OH! I have an idea, wait here."

***

It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.

"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.

There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.

"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."

He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."

Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.

For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.

user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET

user4: i think i just passed out

user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH

user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN

user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn

user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE

Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).

karakatara donated $100 I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!

It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.

"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"

"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."

"I haven't been reading it."

"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."

"I've been too scared to."

"Too scared? Of what?"

Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.

"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."

"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."

"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"

"You're avoiding the question."

"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."

"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."

"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"

"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."

When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."

She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.

"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."

"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"

"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."

He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.

"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."

***

"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."

"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."

"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.

"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."

Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."

"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"

Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.

"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"

"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."

"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.

"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."

He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.

"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.

"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."

"Nah, even him."

"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."

"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"

"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"

"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.

"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."

"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."

She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"

"Only I get to."

"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.

"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."

"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."

"Nuh-uh," he spat.

"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."

There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.

Dream was slain by Bugsy

"WHAT?! HOW?"

<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date <Ranboo> well definitley not anymore <Ranboo> is that canon <JackManifoldTV> WOMEN

"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.

"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"

"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.

"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."

***

They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.

There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.

"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."

"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."

"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."

She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.

She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."

She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.

"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.

"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."

"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.

Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.

"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."

"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"

"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"

Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.

"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"

This had turned chaotic very quickly.

"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.

"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"

"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"

"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.

"I paid them," Dream joked.

"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"

"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.

"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"

"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"

"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"

<Sapnap joined the game> <GeorgeNotFound joined the game> <KarlJacobs joined the game>

"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.

Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.

"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."

"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.

Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.

"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"

"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.

"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."

There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.

"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"

Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.

"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.

"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"

"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"

George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.

"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."

"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"

"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"

He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.

"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.

"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."

"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."

"Mhm. Okay, break!"

They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.

"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.

"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."

"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."

Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"

"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.

He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.

He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.

"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.

"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.

"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"

Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.

**********

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#rpf #real person fiction #dream x reader #mcty x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x y/n #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #smau #social media fic #dream social media fic

[kuruyuji]

I hope this request is good!

Could I get headcanons (you can include nsfw or not, your choice!) For Danganronpa Makoto Naegi, Nagito Komaeda and/or Miu Iruma with a innocent!reader (they don't understand dirty concepts or jokes of anykind)?

sure thing ! i added a bit more to the request if you don’t mind

- makoto, nagito, and miu with an innocent s/o

gender neutral reader

warnings: swearing, slight nsfw (mentions of sex/loss of viginity), a toy is mentioned like once lol

nsfw under the tag !

makoto naegi

- my god, this boy is flustered

- for real, he feels like an awkward parent handling a five year old

- he thinks to himself  “am i even allowed to say anything?” as you bomb him with question after question. he feels pretty guilty, like he’s tainting your innocence.

- just how bad was your health class?

- although, he kind of thinks it’s cute

- Makoto isn’t a dirty minded person so it doesn’t really affect him. he prefers someone whos personality and humor isn’t dirty jokes

- he’s always there to comfort you when the guys make dirty jokes around you

- “Ha! that’s what she said!” you turn to Makoto, “Makoto, what do they mean?” “D-don’t worry about it.”

- i couldn’t think of another joke oh my god help

- when you ask for the sex talk his face starting burning up. he couldn’t even speak for five minutes. he does his best, trying to keep it as calm yet educational as possible

- when you ask him to show you, he freezes. he would ask you over and over again if you’re 100% sure (we love consent). when you tell him your positive, he agrees

- he handles you with care, almost afraid that he’s going to break you. but he starts to relax when you tell him you’re fine

- makoto loves his innocence s/o, he wouldn’t want it any other way

nagito komaeda 

- he’s pretty intrigued that you don’t have any knowledge of dirty jokes

- he calls you his little hope angel because of your innocence

- Nagito is also not a very dirty person so he doesn’t really care

- is ready to THROW HANDS if Kazuichi or Teruteru crosses the line

- he starts to get on edge when they’re around you. it’s not that he doesn’t trust he beloved classmates, but he knows how Kazuichi and Teruteru can be

- one time Kazuichi and Teruteru were being well...themselves and you just happened to passed by. Kazuichi and Teruteru decided to take advantage of your innocence.

- “hey (y/n), i want my head between your thighs.” “won’t that be...uncomfortable?”

- Nagito then steps in, “Hey, you’re clearing bothering (y/n), please cut it out.”

- due to his bad luck, he has lead himself into some awkward situations

- one time he was walking around trying to find you. he finally spots you hanging with Fuyuhiko and starts heading over; only for him to trip over his feet and crash on top of you

- you didn’t understand why this situation was sexual and Fuyuhiko was going on about how this isn’t appropriate behavior. Nagito softly smiles, shaking his head

- “guess my luck isn’t so bad after all.”

- when you asked for the sex talk, he was caught off guard. he tried to calmly explain to you the basics, but he couldn’t fight back the blush rising onto his cheeks

- when you asked to demonstrate it he almost said yes, but then he didn’t want to take away his little hope angels innocence away just yet

- but you insisted, and he finally gave in. he’s gentle the whole time, praising you over and over again

- you’re still his innocent hope angel, no matter how many nights he dominates you

miu iruma

- OH MY GOD

- PLEASE SAVE YOURSELF

- all of your classmates pray for you. because your innocent ass is dating Miu

- who will say a sex joke in every sentence she says

- it was a nightmare when the two of you first met. 

- “dammit i’m in heat right now. im gonna go fuckin’ crazy!” “in...heat?’

- she thinks you’re kidding at first with the whole innocent act. but when she finds out that you’re actually as innocent as you seem. she couldn’t believe her ears

- “are ya fuckin’ dumb or something?”

- at first your classmates tried to protect you so that Miu didn’t taint your innocence, but you declined. you were very interested in Miu even though you didn’t know what she meant half of the time

- the swearing is...a lot for you to handle. it’s no secret that Miu swears in every sentence she says. she tries to tone it down a bit when the two of you start going out. no promises though

- Miu kind of likes to mess with you since your knowledge of dirty jokes is so low. she’ll constantly flirt with you sexually and it can even disgust your classmates. you just awkwardly tilt your head in confusion as dirty jokes just keep flying out of her mouth

- you get used to it, she gets used to it. usually Kaito or a flustered Shuichi has to translate Mius words for you

- when you asked Miu for the sex talk Kirumi was about to take you and hide you away from her. but you told Kirumi that you only wanted to hear it from Miu since her sex knowledge is so high

- she tells you everything you need to know, how to pleasure someone, kinks, fetishes, g-spots. it overwhelmed you but you sort of got the hang of it

- when you asked Miu to show you, she immediately starts to take off her clothes

- she kept your innocents in mind and tried to be as vanilla as possible

- but then you grabbed the 8 inch strap on and asked Miu if you can use it on her. she beamed with pride

- “HA! i knew it. it’s always the innocent looking ones who are fucking freaky as shit!”

this was kinda fun lol

#danganronpa x reader #makoto x reader #nagito x reader #miu x reader #makoto naegi #nagito komaeda #miu iruma #super danganronpa 2 #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #gender neutral reader #spicy #nagito headcanons #makoto headcanons #miu headcanons #fluff #koushis korner

[whaleofatjme1920]

Creepypasta match ups<3

Straight

She/he

I’m have an irrational fear of bugs under my skin

And needles freak my out

Im kinda clumsy at times I do cheer and talk to a lot of people I’m not super close to more than one person but talk to everyone. Im a bit hyper romantic and always try to find the right person I try to have an online presence but don’t post as much as I would like. I going to college to be a criminal psychiatrist and work with caught criminals in psych wards.my favorite color is pink I enjoy a lot of true crime and horror stories.I play a lot of horror games like midnight man and one man hide and seek I want to eventually make a YouTube channel and go to haunted places I would also cover some true crime cases. I tumble in cheer and have been doing it since 8th grade. I’m also a base for stunts. I try to be as social as possible and as nice as possible but it dose always work out for the best. I try to be as optimistic as possible and look at the bright side. I’m a former fnaf kid but never fully left the fandom! I’m also kinda clingy. I’m a bit naïve at times. I also like party’s and big events

Your matchup is... Toby!

[Disclaimer, if you're coming from the tags, this is part of a special event I am holding from November 17th to the 21st where I am accepting matchups from all fandoms I currently write for. Feel free to check out my 1K celebration masterlist here for rules during the window this event is open! If it's past the 21st midnight USA central time, do NOT send me a matchup. I will have to politely turn you down. Sorry </3]

In General

idk how else to say that this gave me really strong Toby energy. maybe it was the FNAF mention.

Things He Likes About You

I feel Toby loves that you do cheer. He sees the dedication and hard work that goes into it and kinda melts. You're a romantic? Great, because deep down inside, he is too! Thinks criminal psychiatry is such a cool field, and from time to time he might give you insights because he is-he's a criminal-. Your aesthetic comes off as pastel goth? Something along those lines and I think Toby really, really digs that. I think he also really loves that you're optimistic and really sweet. Also, parties and big events??? yes please!!

You Two as a Couple

The two of you sneak out to go to parties and that's that. Like, i don't make the rules but that's what the two of you are doing 100%. Little adventures between the two of you is super great. Y'know? He's always bringing you for a ride. He's a romantic but won't always admit it, so when you bring in that sweet loving energy, he almost panics because it's foreign to him. But like, it works and it works really well. If you have any events for cheer he'll come for you. He wants to support you. He doesn't know much about having an online presence, but he'll introduce you to BEN and maybe he can help. Toby really wants you to thrive! The two of you are ALWAYS trading horror stories. He would also play some of the classics with you too, because he believes in them. He's probably one of the safest and most chaotic people to go late night traveling with. A youtube channel where you explore haunted abandoned places?? ABSOLUTELY. That sounds like so much fun to him. Also gets you pink things. he thinks you're adorable, loves you so much.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things

Hi love bug, here it is! I did cheer in middle school - I was a flyer. I've stopped since then and lost all my flexibility, rip. Other than that, I think you and Toby are perfect. Especially wanting to start a youtube channel?? I feel that's somehow right up his alley and he'd find it so much fun. Always showing you haunted places, looking up the history of those places. It's good, like, really good.

#creepypasta matchup #ticci toby headcanons #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby creepypasta #ticci toby #creepypasta x reader

[shoezuki]

This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.

If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse

SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 

I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 

I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.

Dream’s Initial Tweets

Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 

worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 

there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.

Dream’s Response Video

Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 

Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 

Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)

His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 

He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:

Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video

Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 

Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video

that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said

Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao

The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report

Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 

The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).

I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 

Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 

You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 

It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)

If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 

Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 

It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 

Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture

there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right

the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 

Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)

Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this

Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 

either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right

they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted

geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead

Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism

Dream’s Report

The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 

This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:

It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 

This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:

It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 

But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole

Dream’s Report: Criticisms

Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student

But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 

that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 

The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;

Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 

i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.

but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 

I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 

But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 

#dreamwastaken #mcyt #discourse #this ends suddenly because chronic pain a bitch but it stands

[gracelessfighters]

i fall apart

JJ Maybank x female reader

Masterlist

Summary: kinda like a quick little travel through the relationship between reader and JJ as things get progressively worse (shit summary sorry)

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: hella angsty, cheating, thats it? im mentioning angst again 

A/N: i’ve had a really bad day today and i wasn’t originally going to write anything because i wasn’t in the mood, but i had this idea and have literally been crying whilst writing it hence the ANGST (not that this situation applies to me tho i’m just emotional) also havent really read through this so ignore the mistakes

~ italics are flashbacks

“Hi, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours instead?” The blue eyed boy said, distracting you from the large crowd around you, the music fading in the distance as you looked at him and laughed.

“I think that’s the worst pick up line I’ve ever heard,” you say, still smiling at him, “but I suppose I can give you credit for trying, why don’t we start off with names blondie.”

“I’m JJ.”

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” You beamed at him, taking his hand and leading him away from all the people on the beach.

That was the night you met JJ, the night your life became so much better and so much worse in the blink of an eye. If you could, you would make it so you never met him, that way at least you wouldn’t be feeling so empty, so broken and in the most pain you’d ever experienced right now.

You sagged back against the sofa, tears welling in your eyes as another memory of your time with JJ hits you without warning.

“Do you two ever stop with the PDA?” Pope scowled at the two of you, you were sprawled across JJ’s lap, his hand intertwined in yours, your lips still a little swollen from the long kisses JJ would steal from you whenever he caught your eye.

“You’re just jealous man,” JJ grinned at Pope, moving to stroke your leg, “jealous that I have an incredible girl on my lap who loves me.”

Your heart flutters as JJ talks about you, this sound too loud for you to hear the small voice in the back of your head notice that he only said you loved him, not the other way around.

But it didn’t matter, you did love him, he was currently one of the only good things in your life, and even if you felt a little wary about his feelings towards you, you knew that was probably just him struggling to admit them, not because they weren’t there.

If only you hadn’t been so naive, so ready to love a troubled boy whose smile and jokes melted your heart, and whose body made you feel faint. Even though you felt he did love you in his own way, he was not the type of boy to commit - to love forever and without fear. Not like you wanted.

You balled your hands into fists, anything to try and calm the shaking that travelled through your body as you began sobbing once again.

You pulled up to the chateau, hoping JJ was there as he hadn’t showed up to your date. You had waited for hours at the table you were meant to share a meal at, both staff and customers looking at you pitifully, not understanding why you refused to order anything because “he was coming, he just must have gotten caught up with something.”

It had taken closing time of the restaurant to lift the hopeful fog from your eyes, as you got into your car, one lonely tear fell down your face. You had been planning this date for months, something special for your four month anniversary - not that four months was a long time in the scheme of things but as the rest of the pogues said, JJ wasn’t one to commit for more than one night normally, so it should be celebrated.

And you thought he wanted to celebrate it too, even answering your text earlier confirming the details of tonight with an excited reply, as if he loved you - he obviously didn’t though.

The chateau seemed quiet from outside, the only sound were the bugs that appeared at night and the soft sniffles from you as you composed yourself, ready to see why JJ hadn’t shown up. You prayed that he had drank too much, that would be the only time you’d be happy if he had, as it meant the answer you feared wasn’t the correct one.

An overwhelming sense of dread came over you as you opened the door and entered the messy but homely place John B lived in. The door to the guest bedroom was closed, maybe he was just sleeping? He might’ve worked too hard today in all the kook’s gardens. Yes that was probably it.

You took a deep breath in and opened the door, wishing you had prepared more for the likely reality, as that was what you were met with. You could feel your heart break as JJ’s eyes opened at the sudden noise, quickly removing himself from the grip of the naked girl beside him when he realised it was you.

You didn’t want to be here, but you couldn’t move or breathe, all you could do was mutter a small “oh”, as your mind caught up to what your eyes were seeing. JJ already scrambling out of the bed, rushing to get his shorts on so he could try and talk his way out of this.

Your body finally moved, your feet carrying you away from the worst thing you’d ever seen, trying to help you escape before you broke completely.

You knew that image was going to forever live in your mind, hell it was there right now - the sleeping girls face so calm and content, and JJ’s was panicked as he realised he hadn’t gotten away with it. Did that girl have something you didn’t? Was she prettier? Or did JJ just never feel the way you did, instead using you as a placeholder until he could use a stupid pick up line on the next girl to walk past him?

That had happened yesterday, and you had barely stopped crying since, your whole body was now weak from the pain you were feeling, the dehydration from the tears that had been shed and from barely moving off your sofa.

Ten missed calls, that was all the effort JJ had put in trying to talk to you, you had seen his name and face appear on your screen each of these times, but you couldn’t bare to hear his excuses right now, couldn’t bare to hear the voice you loved. It hurt a little that he had stopped at ten, not even a text of ‘I’m sorry’ had been sent, just a few calls. And without you answering he must’ve given up, no longer caring about you and even if you hated to admit it he was probably with the pretty blonde girl.

That was until he knocked at your door, shouting for you to let him in to ‘explain.’ You knew he wouldn’t leave if you refused to open it, and honestly you would rather get this over with so you can go to bed, hold a pillow to your chest and cry.

His face was full of guilt when you opened the door, almost enough for you to forgive him then and there, almost.

“Y/N, please it was a moment of weakness I’m sorry.” He said as he walked past you, turning to face you once he reached the lounge.

“It was our anniversary date tonight JJ.” You hated how small your voice sounded, but the pain in your chest had muted any of the fiery emotions you wanted to feel right now.

“Oh shit,” he mumbled, “we can reschedule it, do it next week instead, put this whole thing behind us.”

You shook your head, “No, we can’t just put it behind us. You betrayed me JJ, I loved you and I know now you never loved me, I just wish you had given me the courtesy of telling me before I found you in bed with someone else.”

You wanted to shout or scream, anything to express how hurt you were, but all that came out was a small voice, one that had been broken like never before, and you weren’t sure if it would ever go back to normal.

“I do love you Y/N,” he moved to grab your hand, only for you to step back, “please, I really do love you.”

“No you don’t, I’m not even sure you can love me. At least not the way I want.” You took a breath before continuing, “I want someone I can melt around. I want someone who melts around me too… I don’t want this standoffish, unromantic love that you’re offering. I want more than that and I think I deserve more too.”

He couldn’t look into your sad eyes that contained only the truth, so he walked away, away from you and your relationship until he was out of your house and on his bike, heading somewhere you didn’t care about.

As soon as the door shut, you collapsed, the breath leaving you body. And as you sobbed, all you could think about was how you wished you had never met JJ Maybank.

----

tags: @outerbankslut​

this is highkey really bad but oh well 

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank imagine #outer banks #outer banks imagine #obx #obx fic #outrebanx #jj maybank angst #john b routledge #pope heyward #kiara carrera #rudy pankow

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[cordonian-literature]

Reluctant Reunion

Summary: Olivia reflects on her relationship with Vivienne

Premise: majority of TRH thrown out the window, but some elements are present. overall i’d say this isn’t canon. the MC’s name is Vivienne (nicknamed Vivi). her and Liam have two children: Eleanor and Evangeline. the gang hasn’t seen each other much.

A/N: hi! so i wanted to practice some writing since i’ve been kinda out of it, so i decided to do a @wackydrabbles​​​ prompt! i’ve seen some people do it and just wanted to participate :) this week’s prompt is not everything is a joke, and will be in bold

A/N 2: the idea for this fic came from Prompt #1407​​ (i’ve changed it up a bit though). i don’t know if i’ll continue this or not, but i’ve been playing around with the idea and just might

Word Count: (+/-) 1540

Warnings: none (i think. feel free to call me out if im wrong)

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those unique to my story*

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Olivia tried to do what she could to keep Vivienne at arm’s length. But her smile was so disarming, and she was so genuine — how could one help the overwhelming want to get close to her, to be embraced by the soft care she expressed to everyone in her vicinity? Olivia didn’t want the bubbly feelings, the pounding in her chest. She believed that if she kept ignoring it, the emotions would go away.

The isolation of Lythikos allowed Olivia to stay focused; there was always some issue that would occupy her mind long enough so Olivia would not think of Vivienne, and would instead attend to her people’s concerns like the old rulers of Lythikos.

But Valtoria’s issues were not unique to Vivi’s duchy. The smallest familiarity between Valtorian and Lythikosian concerns would prompt a lighthearted, heartbreakingly friendly phone call from Vivienne. The Queen would invite the Duchess over for a discussion, and would afterward ask Olivia to extend her visit, which Olivia never did.

But something she couldn’t ignore was a surprise invitation from Duke Bertrand — “financial proposals need to be overlooked to confirm suitability for all duchies of Cordonia” prompted Olivia to start towards Ramsford. Olivia did not expect that the King, Queen, and their friends were already there.

It had been Lady Hana’s idea for them all to meet and enjoy an evening over tea after having spent months apart. But for the afternoon, the Queen and Duchess Olivia would attend Duke Bertrand’s meeting.

They both sat in front of Duke Bertrand, their chairs some feet apart, a distance Olivia felt keenly towards her left. Olivia’s chair fully faced the Duke, while Vivienne’s was turned so that in one swift glance she secured both their attentions.

Vivi didn’t hesitate in commenting that Bertrand’s proposal would negatively affect more than half the country. She opened up the discussion, allowing Olivia to speak first, then adding in her own opinions.

The three of them formed a rough plan with enough moving elements that at least one was sure to work. Leaving the office, Olivia made a beeline for the front of the estate.

Her heels tap sharply on the wooden floor. Olivia slows her pace so the taps are the same rhythm as the melody of Vivi’s voice, drawing Olivia into tranquil peace.

Unfamiliar tranquil peace. The inclusivity of Vivi’s words were not well-known to the Duchess that had come to terms with isolation. She wasn’t ready to embrace the friendships that she had disconnected from years ago.

She stood in the front of the estate, watching the fog lift and dance around the marble columns. Some puffs of clouds were so large Olivia could put herself in a daze and imagine she had climbed the North-most mountain in Lythikos, her body kindly begging for oxygen, the ghost of Misha just on her heel. Other warm clouds were so small that Olivia could close them in her palm and diminish it from its lonely existence.

And then it was time for tea. When Olivia walked into the sitting room, the soft colors of the curtain compliment the gentle conversation of the friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. Olivia takes a seat on an empty couch, attempting to avoid bringing attention to herself.

Olivia takes a long breath. She smells the scent of the tea on the small table in front of her, the dry lemony tang of furniture polish, and the faint scent of Vivi's perfume, who had come to sit next to Olivia.

Eleanor takes a seat on the gray velvet settee with her father and asks where her sister, Evangeline, is.  

As if she'd been conjured by the mention of her name, the girl enters the room and grabs the pitcher off the table. Olivia notices that she is almost as tall as her father. Evangeline stares carefully at everyone's glass as she fills them, the tea pitcher looking like a child's toy in her hands.

She smooths the edge of her rose-colored dress as she sits near her mother, cupping the tea in her hands as if it were a valuable heat source. She looks over at her sister, who converses with Liam and Drake.

After she reached the age of twenty, Liam pulled Eleanor on the front lines of Cordonia’s issues, leaving the girl little time to spend with her family. Many called the Crown Princess rough, claiming her serious exterior was too extreme.

But now, next to her father and his friend, Eleanor is relaxed and leans back against the cushion. Evangeline eyes her sister, her own posture as stiff and straight as a wall. She analyzes the sleeveless, light green dress gently draped over Eleanor.

“Do you want me to put some ice in your tea?” Evangeline asks, motioning towards her sister’s casual attire. “You seem like you feel hot.”

Eleanor drifts apart from Liam and Drake’s conversation, a vacant smile on her face as she answers Evangeline. “No? Why do you ask?”

“Oh, nothing,” Evangeline smirks and takes a calm sip of her tea, a laugh hidden behind every word. “Just that I’ve never seen you wear something so… revealing.” She gives another critical look, her eyes glazing down to her sister’s shoes and back up to her face, giving an angry smile at the last second. “It doesn’t look too good on you. I’ll tell my dressmaker to make something that suits your style.”

“Thanks, but there’s no need.” Eleanor’s face falls as she turns back to her father.

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Evangeline leans over to put a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “I was just joking with you. It’s sarcasm. Ever heard of it?”

“Not everything is a joke just because you say it is. Sarcasm or not.” The sisters turn away from each other. 

Vivi gives a gentle laugh in the direction of her daughters. “Drake was your babysitter once and all his sarcasm rubbed off on you.”

Conversations are paused as everyone absorbs Vivi’s words. Olivia remembers the diplomatic trip Liam and Vivi took to Italy less than two decades ago. Eleanor was able to come along, but Evangeline had been too small. Duke Bertrand and Lord Maxwell were also meant to make an appearance, Lady Hana was called to Shanghai to visit her parents, and Olivia had issues in Lythikos to attend to. The only person available had been Drake, and after that one week, he had become baby Evangeline’s favorite person.

When she was a child, she would constantly urge her parents to let her go on camping or fishing trips with Uncle Drake. Liam would always accompany them, but the younger sister had always been cold towards Eleanor, throwing a fit if her parents suggested she accompany them.

The group chuckles when they remember, even earning a smile from Olivia. But the grins dissolve into lost looks. They meet each other’s eyes, and though Olivia remains focused on the tea pitcher, she can sense the sad questions they kept to themselves: where had it all gone wrong? How did we let the distance become so large?

Olivia knows these questions depress those around her, but she has had a lifetime to adapt to them. From her lonely childhood — being her parents’ second priority, then being treated as the traitors’ daughter after they died. To growing distanced from the friends of her youth and her first love — Liam making it clear to her countless times that he would never reciprocate her feelings, and Olivia eventually coming to terms that such a love was never meant to be her’s. To a vast space having formed between her and the only woman that had ever believed in Olivia.

Maxwell gives an audible sigh. “If only my puns rubbed off on Eleanor.” 

The girl rolls her eyes, while her sister inspects her freshly painted nails. 

Maxwell playfully scolds her: “Were my play on words not good enough for you?” 

Eleanor laughs, a bright smile lifting the mood of the room. She speaks of her childhood, everything she remembers and misses, the adults adding in silly details of her childish antics. But Olivia has no memories of Eleanor’s childhood, nor of Evangeline’s. 

The friends’ conversations flowed gracefully, but Olivia could not contribute anything. 

And so she stood and left, quietly lifting herself out of her seat and spinning towards the door. She wondered if her driver were ready to bring her back to Lythikos. 

The fog embraces her, wrapping wet coils of air around her waist, drawing her away from Ramsford, away from memories she wasn’t a part of, away from Vivi.

But before she can lower her head and enter the limo, Vivi’s slender fingers wrap around Olivia’s wrist, drawing her away from the vehicle and slipping an envelope into her hands.

Her disarming smile doesn’t disappear until Olivia has opened the envelope: it’s an invitation to the palace.

Decline it, her head tells her. 

Accept it, her heart tells her. 

Vivi sighs, holding her arms against herself as if she were about to break. 

“You’re cold,” Olivia states.

Again that smile. Vivi agrees to go inside, Olivia agrees to consider the invitation, though she doesn’t want to. 

But her incompetent driver leads her to the palace anyway.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

i don’t have anyone to tag - but if you would like to be tagged if i continue this, let me know :)

#wacky drabbles #trr fanfiction #trr au fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #the royal heir fanfic #trr fanfic #cordonia #liam rys #trr liam x mc #trr olivia x mc #olivia nevrakis #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction #choices the royal romance fanfic

[og-danny-dorito]

Alfie Solomons NSFW Headcanons

some NASTY anons requested this to satisfy their thirst for this man. i would tag them but since i dont have a source im just gonna hope they see this. should i write a fic for this mans???

N S F W :

- big man = big dick and thats just the facts

- pretty sweet and tired all the time so he's probably slow unless he's feeling REALLY frustrated with anything and everything that happened during the day. seriously if some guy kept pissing him off while he was at work that day you best believe hes gonna take out his frustrations on you in a not-domestically-abusive way

- maybe around 7″ long and with a pretty good girth (like 5 inches around). he's obviously circumcised but he never trims his hair down there (I mean look at his fucking beard you think this man gives a shit about anything under the belt???) so you'll probably have to get comfy down there really quick and not complain too much about the whole ass bush down there. erect he's only like an inch or too larger but it makes all the difference when you're on your knees and eye-level with it trying to figure out how to fit it in your mouth

- when he's riled up it turns a bit pink at the top and he starts to spill over himself, his breath becoming quick and erratic as he groans at any sort of touch. he's VERY sensitive and very very greedy for touch. he tries to say he doesn't need you to love on him like you do, but in all honestly he needs it more than anything

- hairy mans. obviously. and has tattoos!!! he's kindof muscular too, and so what ends up happening is that you've got this Jewish beefcake bear sitting in your living room in nothing but pants smiling and opening his arms for you to either sit on him or give him a hug. either is fine with him

- maybe into bdsm??? unlikely since he doesnt really give a shit about the whole thing, but is perfectly fine with it if you yourself enjoy it. like yeah call him daddy and he might grunt and pull your hair a little, but we all know he's a bear anyway. kindof wants you to sit in his lap??? kindof doesnt??? know??? how to say that???

- is NOT vocal about his kinks at all, you end up finding them out eventually though. here are the ones in order;

   +lap-sitting

   +messy makeup sex

   +quickies in his office

   +oral

   +anything he hasn't tried yet

- lowkey might panic a little if you ask him to choke you. like, what if he hurts you? that's a fuckton of responsibility on one man. not that you shouldn't trust him, he's just worried? like why choked? why can't you just be loved?

- “oh...so you want me to...ehhh- choke you? Like wrap my hands around your throat, yeah?”

- “Uhm, yes,,, yes I do. It's fine if you don't-”

- “You'd better be thinking of my reward then, love.”

- “Rewa-?”

- “Cause if you expect me to please you that much without some sort of repayment, you are sorely mistaken.”

- big man likes being in control more than anything, mostly out of a sense of security. honestly he can't help but feel a little nervous when he's not completely in control, but he trusts you enough to tie him up or blindfold him if you’d want to. lowkey likes being teased A L O T and is a huge sucker for any type of sensory play

- is very concerned with your comfortability when you're in the act. are you alright? are you sure? is he hurting you? he's very sweet and slow when you're doing it together for the first time since he knows he can be a bit brutal a lot of the time. it's completely unintentional, but he can be a little too rough

- if you LIKE that though, he's gonna be as rough as possible without hurting you too bad

- prefers to give hickeys rather than receive them. he likes seeing how the bruises come up on your skin and the way you wince when something grazes them like your clothes or his fingertips

- probably has a whispering kink just because it's very sweet and sensual to him. seriously, if you whisper something dirty to him while he's trying to work then there's a very high chance you're going to get it right there in that moment

- remember how I said he likes it in his office? yeah, big man LOVES doing it where anyone can walk in, mainly because of the thrill of having his door knocked on suddenly with him between your legs and a slightly panicked look on your face

- likes it when you wear his clothes too. nothing gets him more riled up than seeing you walking around in his old shirt- and only his shirt -as pajamas. seeing you in even his jacket or with his hat makes him all fluffy inside and an uncomfortably pleasant knot to form at the base of his stomach, hungry to just straight up fuck you right then and there

- likes arched guard and cowgirl, but doggy style is always his go to. mainly because he likes ass up face down. seeing you moan and whimper into the sheets while glancing back up at him makes him that much more motivated to ruin you beyond recognition

- big man MIGHT spank you, if you're okay with that. it's kindof just an impulse thing but if you don't want him to he won't. he's a big believer in consent

- commitment is also very important to him. he doesn't fuck just anyone, honestly. if he does want to get into the act with you it's a milestone to the relationship, and he might honestly be thinking of marrying you

- okay now for mixed sexual organ headcanons cause those are my fav

- if you have male sexual organs, he might feel a little nervous the first time. he hasn't really done much with men or anything similar below the belt to his own unmentionables to get that far, but once you finally do it the first time he finds himself enjoying it a little more than sex with women

- this is mostly because he knows how to please you a little more considering he gets how all the parts work cause he has a set of them himself, you know?

- still likes seeing you in his clothes, giving you bruises, etc. your sexual organs don't change how he thinks of you

- for someone with female parts he knows everything better because he's done it before, but like I said he's a little lost on how to please you. he'll figure it out though, he's a fairly quick learner

- oh, before I finish, he has a habit of growling or something when he's about to go over the edge. he doesn't even realize it at first, but once you mention it to him he said all like “Oh...yeah, guess I do, don't I?” and pretends it doesn't make him flustered

- his favorite body part (any body type applies btw) is probably your hips and legs. not only does he like holding your hips, but he very much likes to be in between your legs. very much. seriously, it's probably his favorite thing. if you're kinda skinny he's probably more concerned with hurting you because you just look so delicate and frail,,, larger body types give him a little more assurances mentally because it make sure him less worried about like,,, breaking a fucking bone. but in attractiveness it doesn't even matter to him what you look like, large or small. you still mean everything to him and you're still hella sexy in whatever clothes you wear (or out of them, he prefers you out of them much more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

- has an average libido, he's just not riled up all the time. more along the lines of “if you want it i do” or “wow you did one little thing and my mind went to the gutter and now my dick is hard goddamit”. sex isn't really his love language, but he still loves you enough to do it and enjoys it a whole lot

- in conclusion, he's very much in love with you if he wants to go that far with you, especially if he wants you being in a relationship long enough to consider it. you mean the world to him, and every little thing you do makes him that much more eager to touch you and love you until the end of his days

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders smut imagine #peaky blinders headcanon #peaky blinders headcanons #alfie solomons #alfie solomons headcanon #alfie solomons headcanons #alfie solomons imagine #alfie solomons imagines #alfie solomons smut #smut headcanons #smut headcanon #smut imagine #smut imagines #smut #lemon

[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Forty-Three, “The One Where It Happens”

*Gifs not mine*

Clickable Links:

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Word Count: 12.3k words

Warnings: Sensitive topics

Music Inspo: Lay Down Beside You by Carl Storm (click to listen, this song is too perfect for this chapter)

                                         SNEAKYYYYY PEEK

I worry. I fear. I cry. I doubt. I struggle for breath. I grieve. I sob. I ache. Because I love. No, not loved. I love.

Love is what makes me want to go back to her, and cover her broken body with kisses. Love is what scares the living shit out of me, preventing me from doing that in this very second, because I’m afraid that I’ll break her all the more. Love is what sends the words tumbling off of my aching lips.

“‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . . B-But ‘m not alright.”

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will - either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once.

- Paulo Coelho 

+

Today had seemed like a dream, and I was unsure of when I’d get used to that, or when I’d get used to all of this. If I never did, I’d be okay with that, because she just keeps amazing me with every step I take. I never want this dream to end, if it is one after all.  

Speak of an angel, and there she is, I think. The thought races to the front of my mind, pushing all of the others aside. She’s always managed to be very good at doing that, I recall. 

“I’m gonna get going then,” she announces, clasping her milky 

white hands together in front of her after walking back into my office. 

A sad smile finds its way to my lips as I admire her, wishing I could spend the rest of my days memorizing every detail of her. The little tan birthmark beneath her eye that she doesn’t cover up anymore, much to my happy findings. The sparkle in her eyes, the left one scattered with more indigo flecks. The always waves in her dark chocolate hair. Her braided silver ring that I’ve never seen her without, always playing with it mindlessly. 

“Harry?” she hums. I blink, focusing my eyes back on her. 

Becks. My lovely Becks. Maybe even . . my girlfriend? Impossible although it had seemed, my lips reach higher elevations on my cheeks at the thought. I don’t let it run away from me, although I’m itching to let the question leave my lips. 

There’s always tomorrow for that, I decide silently as I adore the invisible inquisition toying with her eyebrows. 

“Alright?” Becks asks, taking another step forward until she arrives at my desk. 

“Ya, ‘m great,” I confess softly, pushing at the lip of my desk to get to my feet. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she ponders nervously, a fire sparking in her cheeks as I near her figure dressed in a sleek black pantsuit. A cream chiffon blouse falls under the hollow of her neck modestly, adorned by the opal necklace I haven’t seen her take off since our first date. Yet another confirmation that that night was real, and so is all of this. My bloody God, I wonder when I’ll ever be able to believe it. 

“I dunno,” I giggle, my hands finding their way into the conversation with a shrug of their own. “Jus’ so happy lookin’ at you . . You make me happy, Becks . . Very.”

The dimple finds its place in her left cheek again, and I know then that I’m fucked all the more. A similar sound flows from her lips, and I wish it didn’t have to come to an end as my palm slips into hers. 

“You make me happy too, Harry, so happy,” she titters, peeking up at me with those goddamn blue eyes. The very blues that could send me whizzing off into another oblivion, and I’d feel honored for it. I’m given just enough time to catch the glint in her eye, wetness sitting there in the corner before she looks away again. “Today made me so happy.”

“Me too, bug. I can hardly believe I get t’ do this e’ry day . . with you,” I snicker happily, tugging on her hand until my arms are surrounding her shoulders. 

“Neither can I,” she concurs, the words tickling the skin peeking out from my hardly buttoned shirt. A second of wetness tickles the skin there when my hand comes to cup the back of her head, pressing a kiss below my thumb a moment later. 

“Call me when ya get home, will you? We should FaceTime and watch anotha episode, if yer not gettin’ too sick o’ me yet.”

“Never,” she sighs, nudging my chin towards the sky when she lifts her head. It falls now, to find her moist blue eyes searching for me. It plummets further until my lips catch the hint of a tear at the corner of her eye, kissing it away. “I could never get sick of you.”

“‘s gonna be quite a long time befo’ I get sick o’ you, bug,” I murmur against her cheek, the traces of orange blossoms marking her skin. I can almost taste it on my lips when I leave a kiss there. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, yanking my eyes to her grinning lips that I envelop with my own. A ‘good’ brushes against her pair between moments of adoring her top lip between mine. The tip of her nose leaves lazy circles drawn on my skin while I sketch my own onto her creamy skin. The moment couldn’t last long enough. I wish I could freeze it in time and enjoy it for longer before my lungs begin to burn for air. 

“Drive safe,” I whisper against her mouth, saying goodbyes into her hair with the motions of my thumb. 

“I will, don’t worry. I’ll call you when I get home, it shouldn’t take me even fifteen minutes to get there.”

“‘Kay, ‘ll talk t’ you soon then,” I smile, touching my lips to her button nose. “Boops.” 

“Now, don’t stay here too long, boss. You’re going to turn into a workaholic or something, Harry,” Becks taunts with her flushed lips drawing me in. 

“‘ll try not t’, that’s all I can promise.”

A laugh joins her answering nod before she surprises me with one last kiss, making me want to take back all of the words I just said, and spend a few more moments kissing her. Minutes, maybe. 

“Night, Harry.”

“G’night, Becks. ‘ll talk t’ ya later . . my love,” I divulge, enjoying the pink that rises in her cheeks at the mention of the simple words. Simple, yet oh so true. 

“Bye, my Harry,” she echoes, squeezing my hand one last time on her way out the door. Her azul blue eyes meet mine over her shoulder when she pulls my door closed, decadent lips curled into a smile just for me. Lips that I already want to have touching my own again, dark chocolate waves I want to be losing my hands in, and that laugh I want to be pulling from her lips. 

It’s never long enough with her, but I get to do today all over again with her tomorrow. The day after that, and after that. Stolen kisses in the copier room, her head on my shoulder while watching FRIENDS at my desk, those pretty fingers dancing along my tense shoulders, and a closeness between us that I’ve longed to have for so long. Too long. 

A closeness with her that I never want to lose.

+

The very last unanswered email is whisked away with a whoosh. Finally, I have that done. With it, it drags my eyes to my wrist that vibrates with an alert. A premature smile graces my lips until it falls at the sight of a different name, not the one I was expecting. 

“What’s takin’ her so long?” I mutter as my eyes flit over Myles’ text, some joke about firing me if I keep staying past five o’clock. 

“Bastard,” I sigh with a shake of my head, pressing my palm to the screen as the time repeats in my head. 

5:26 passes. 

Then, 5:36 passes too as I wait for her to reply to my texts, or to call.

Reckon she should’ve been home by now, having left at 5, I wonder silently, aware of the thrumming of my heart. I’m sure she’s just making something to eat. 

Yeah, Harry, that’s it. 

Why am I worrying so much? 5 o’clock traffic is a bitch, anyways. It’s what made me late to our date the other night, so I should know. 

“She’ll call soon,” I mumble aloud, crafting a quick text to her, adding to the others I’ve already sent her tonight.

i think today may have been my favourite w/ u so far ;) xo

hurry up slowpoke

rebecca ann ur slow. im kiddin. drive safe bug xo

Sighing, I turn back to my iMac where I already have the next episode of FRIENDS queued up, waiting for her. 

A new bloop! sounds when an email arrives in my inbox. Clicking on it, I begin to absorb the words until my office phone interrupts with a loud bringggggg! 

“This ‘s Harry,” I say automatically, and am answered with an eerie silence. A darkness trickles into my chest at the little sounds accompanying it. The pangs of worry return, demanding to be felt amongst the mix of it all. “Hullo?” 

“H-Harry, this is Skye,” a shaky voice replies at last. 

“Hi, what’re you doin’ callin’ me main line?” I joke, hoping to add a lightness to the atmosphere that so direly requires one. The fear threatening at my edges gains strength when I make out the likeness of it in her voice. “If yer lookin’ fer Becks she left half an hour ago, reckon she’s home by now.”

“No, s-she’s not,” she says. I hear it, and I immediately wish that I hadn’t. Denying it with a shake of my head, it doesn’t disappear that easily, the crack in her voice. “She . . d-didn’t make it home, Harry.”

“What’re ya talkin’ ‘bout, Skye? I jus’ saw her half an hour ago,” I contend, rushing through my words as my back straightens to full attention. 

“I know . . I just talked to her on the phone f-fifteen minutes ago, but Harry . . ,” Skye continues, words wandering away from her. They’re kidnapped by the tears that I finally acknowledge in her voice, and now echoing on the line. “S-She was in . . an accident.”

“What . . What kinda accident? ‘s she alright? W-Who told you this? That can’t be right, I jus’ saw her,” I argue, losing my footing quite immediately. 

Rising to my feet, the words are too close for comfort and my knees threaten to give out on me. A hand races to my hair, carding heavy strokes through it that tug hairs loose, but I disregard the pain. Another form of it demands to be felt inside of me, next to my heart that climbs in speed with every moment absent of words. An absence of Becks being okay. 

“I don’t want it to be real either, Harry, b-but an officer just rang me. H-He said a car ran a light and h-hit her . . not long after I got off the phone with her. It was right behind the driver’s side and . . it doesn’t look very good,” she reveals, sobs growing thicker in her voice. My feet run rampant circles around my office as my fingers tug violently at my hair. 

“This ‘sn’t funny, Skye, if yer pullin’ me leg,” I begin with a forced amusement, but it doesn’t make it very far. I don’t make it that far until I fall onto the sofa, my words crashing into loud sobs that steal my breath away. “I jus’ got her back . . I can’t lose her ‘gain,” the confession comes, drenched in tears that shake my body. 

“I know,” she agrees with echoing devastation as tears paint the inside of my palm clung to my face. “She’s been my best friend for t-twenty-one years, Harry. I-I can’t imagine my life without her, and I know she’d never want to imagine a life without you.”

My head shakes rapidly from side to side as the tepid wetness paints stripes down my cheeks, escaping from my eyes that I press shut painfully. Whimpers flee from my lips, the very ones that were just kissing hers thirty minutes prior. 

This can’t be happening. No, I can’t lose my Becks when she just found her way back to me. 

“No, no . . no, no,” I sob, each utterance becoming more indiscernible with the emotions consuming them. “Not my Becks,” I mutter, air escaping my lungs with such force that leaves me dizzy in the head. 

“She’ll be okay, she’s strong, Harry. She’s made it through so much other shit. N-Not this sort, but . . . she broke her leg riding bike one time when we were eight, and she was fine. S-She cut her finger cooking once and drove herself to hospital all herself,” Skye reveals, the trembling words doing nothing to calm my heart that I’m afraid may bound from my chest at a moment’s notice. 

“Strongest person I know,” I concur, a hiccup rattling my voice that fights for composure. “W-What’d they tell you . . ‘bout Becks?”

“They’re taking her to uh, King’s Cross hospital. Reckon there’ll be a waiting room I can meet you at while s-she’s in . . surgery,” Skye explains, and my head rushes up and down with nods now. I shakily get to my feet and take a step towards my door, but once again, I don’t make it far. A wooziness falls over me, and I grab the arm of the sofa just in time to recover. “They said they stabilized her and she was breathing and everything, b-but surgery was in order. Car was totaled, though. That’s not good . . No, that’s not good,” she cries, words falling harder and harder the more she goes on. With every one that she speaks, my sobs thicken and louden against the confines of my palm. 

“Don’t say that . . D-Don’t, she’s gonna be okay. She has t’ be,” I defend, wishing more with every second that I believed my own words. If the words themselves could wish it into existence, I’d speak them over and over until it came true. 

“I’m sorry,” she confesses breathlessly. “I’ll uh, meet you there. C-Call me when you get there. It’s the . . hospital on the west side of town, not too far from you, I reckon. She’s probably . . already there,” Skye finishes before the dial tone drills into my ears, and I’m left listening to my unsteady breaths. 

The phone plummets from my hand to meet the floor with a crrrrrunching sound, but I don’t even care. There’s so little I care about in this moment, because my thoughts are consumed by her. They’re racing, demanding, and making me sick. My chest trembles with another intense sob as my palms press against my eyes. Strands of my hair are taut around my fingertips, my scalp searing with pain. 

She’s become all I’ve cared about in these last few weeks, and it’s been magnified within moments now.

“No,” I cry, salt water dripping over my lips and plummeting from my chin. “Becks, no.”

Sniffling, it’s suddenly impossible to ignore the rock sitting in my gut. Jumping to my feet, my hands fall as I cross the room and fall to my knees harshly. The cold, granite tiles dig into my boney limbs as I retch into the bin. Grouting in the tiles leaves marks on my skin when I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth moments later. 

Sweat beads on my forehead as the room spins around me. Tears press harshly at the back of my eyes when I envision her standing in front of me, kissing me goodbye just moments ago, it seemed. Shakes overwhelm my body within seconds, and my knees kiss the tiles once more. The coolness is welcomed by my flushed forehead as I curl into myself, her smiling face captivating every thought I have while my body convulses with a new sob. It takes the last ounces of strength I can find to pull myself up to a kneeling position, then to plant one foot against the floor, and another until I’m standing. 

“‘m comin’, Becks,” I mumble, voice breaking from the first word. Wiping under my eyes, I rip open the door. Feet pounding down the hallway, I sniffle as another warm stripe cascades down my cheeks. A second and third accompany it when I pass her office, and I yank my eyes away, knowing that I can’t look. I’ll collapse to the floor again if I see her name sitting there on the door, waiting for her to return tomorrow morning. 

Patting my pockets hastily, I yank my ring of keys from the fabric only to drop them. Cursing, I bend down to pick them up before rounding the corner. I’m almost knocked off my feet by Myles who skids to a halt. Unbeknownst to me, I didn’t think I could be hurting more until I found the look that dawns on his face. 

“Hare, what’s wrong?” he demands, grabbing my bicep. 

A sob revokes my words and a hand flies to my mouth. Eyebrows falling, tears interrupt my voice as the explanation plays on a loop between my ears. 

“Becks, s-she . . ,” I try to say, but a shake of my head places a gap in between my words. “Was inn’a accident. I have t’ go t’ her . . tha hospital. I wanna be there when she wakes up, and-,” now, I cut myself off abruptly. Tears blur my vision, and soon I’m seeing stripes. A feeling surrounds me, and I find that it’s his arms crushing me in a hug. His name drops from my lips in a choked sob. 

“You’re not driving anywhere like this. I’ll take ya, Hare,” he murmurs into my ear, out of place back rubbing following his words. “I’m so bloody sorry, mate. Fuck, I just saw her when she left.”

“So did I. H-How can it be real? I just . . . I jus’ got her back, My’. She jus’ came back t’ me and we jus’ started datin’ finally . . I can’t fookin’ lose her all over ‘gain, not fer real this time . . I don’t think I could live inn’a world that she’s not in, Myles,” I confess into his shoulder, clutching onto him. My chest expands and falls against his, convulsing with every worst case scenario that sends tears flying from my eyes. 

“It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t fookin’ say that, ‘coz what if it ‘s not? What if she’s not okay? What if she . . d-dies, My’? I can’t-,” the words run away from me, and for once, I’m thankful for it. They’re drenched by too much reality, more than I can stomach.

I don’t remember following him down to the parking garage, or getting into the car. The next thing I know, my head is tipped against the frosty glass window in his BMW, the lights of London cloudy from behind my eyes. 

“I jus’ bloody saw her, and I kissed her and hugged her,” I whisper, watching the words fog up the glass, if only for mere seconds. A warm tear dives from my chin, crashing onto the v of my chest. 

‘I knows’ answer me back, as well as squeezes to my arms when I least expect them. It all runs into a blur - the traffic, snow fluttering against the windows, and the pounds of tears I shed into the air. Most of all, the thoughts running rampant within me hardly make much sense by the time we’ve parked. The one thing that’s clear as day is how my heart swells with bittersweetness when her face swims inside of my skull, and the love that pours out from it for her. 

I already know that I love her, and it only makes me hurt a million times worse. 

“She’ll likely be in surgery for a good while, it’s a rather long affair, Hare,” Myles announces as the automatic sliding doors open for us, greeting us with a burst of hot air. 

“I know . . Skye said she’s in tha waitin’ room erm, on tha second floor,” I respond, reading from my phone. My eyes fill with more tears as I swipe a finger under the both of them, sniffling. 

“Here, I see a lift.”

Relief ironically escapes me when we finally find Skye bouncing her legs up and down in a chair, arms wrapped around herself as she stares at the floor. It takes her a moment to look up after saying her name, but with her disarray of colorful hair, I reckon she’s the best person I can relate to on this entire floor. 

“Hey,” I whisper when I embrace her, surprising myself at the same time. A shy ‘hi’ fills my ears as her thin frame greets mine. Her shaking arms squeeze me around the middle, and I linger there for a few seconds than necessary before pulling away. “Has anybody came t’ talk t’ you?”

“No, not yet. I just checked in with somebody when I came in, and they said to come up here. S-So, I did, and the nurse’s desk told me somebody would come when they have news. Whenever that is,” she sighs, flicking a thumb below her eye to catch a tear that strays from her waterline. 

“D-Did ya call Robbie and her dad?” 

“Yeah, just now. Robbie should be here soon, and Chuck was just about to leave . . I figure he won’t get here until she’s out of surgery, even though we don’t know how bloody long that’ll take. But, he’ll be here i-in a few hours,” she answers, her voice catching on the last of her words. 

“I’m gonna go and find us something to drink,” Myles interrupts, nodding his head down the hallway. I mirror his actions, grateful for the offer as I clear my scratchy throat. It dried up the second those very words rocked me to the core. 

Silence ensues as I fall onto the lumpy sofa beside her, a telly across the room murmuring softly in the background. Magazines lie open in front of us on the wooden table, chairs and more chairs surrounding us. 

“I wish somebody would just tell us something,” she groans beside me, wringing her hands in her lap. A sob stills in her throat and I watch her face collapse along with it. 

“I can go and ask, ‘m antsy too. Only been here a minute and already I am,” I suggest with a tough swallow. The lump in my throat greets me again as she shakes her head ‘no.’ 

Folding my hands together, they come to sit against my mouth as I now bounce my knee. Eyes flitting in every direction, I will a nurse or doctor littering the halls to wander over to us with their bloody clipboard and lab coat. 

“Find anythin’ else out tho’?” I pipe up, dropping a hand and letting it squeeze hers. I’ve only met this woman a handful of times, and yet, I know that she’s the closest thing I’ve got to a friend here. She’s the only other person who could understand how I’m feeling right now, because she’s the only other person in this damn hospital who loves Becky too. At the same time, my actions are unprecedented and alien to me, this entire situation is. 

Tears arrive in my eyes as I wait for her voice to make a choppy return, “Just when I got here and checked in, s-so to speak, that she was in surgery. They didn’t say what for really, I suppose only the team working on- with her knows,” she explains, and now, I’m the one nodding. A long breath spills from my lips, and it does next to nothing to calm the thrashing of my heart, and the onslaught of my mind. 

The reality of the situation brings my head into my palms again where I spill silent tears, accentuated by the whimpers of my lips. My entire body shakes with every sob, every sob that yearns for my arms to return to her. My eyes to see hers again, those baby blues that now, I can’t stop imagining my babies having one day. That painful thought makes them come harder now while I struggle for air, lungs burning for other reasons now, like nonexistent children that I very well may never have with her now.

Fuck. 

I wish more than anything that I could be back in my office an hour ago, annoying her with kisses as she finished up an email. What I’d do to have my lungs burning in need of the air filling hers, and not for the air around me that may not even hold her life anymore. 

No, I can’t think like that. If I entertain that thought for a millisecond, there’s no going back. 

“You know, you’re her whole world and always have been. She couldn’t shut up about you lately, a-and all of your dates. When I spoke to her on the phone r-right before . . . she was saying how amazing of a day she had had . . with you. She couldn’t wait to do it all over again, she’s so mad about you, Harry. S-She even wrote you this letter once saying how she-,” Skye divulges, the words filling my ears. Instantaneously, they want nothing more than to spit them back out. 

“Don’t! Don’t say all o’ that. D-Don’t say it in past tense, or like she’s not . . g-gonna be able t’ tell me all ‘bout it. We can’t act that way . . She’s gonna be okay, she’s gotta be okay,” I insist into my hands, struggling for breaths. Lifting my head, I turn it away from her and towards the window, my lips squashed into a line. Briny tears drip over them as I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, hiccups finding their way into the air. 

“I’m sorry, I-.”

“I c-can’t talk ‘bout her like she’s- like that. I can’t t-think ‘bout her like that . . her not bein’ here anymo’,” I exclaim, shooting to my feet in order to change directions. 

I thought I couldn’t believe my life earlier today and the direction it’d taken, and now, I can’t believe it one bit. I don’t want to, and I wish I didn’t have to. I thought that I was living a dream today, and now, I know that I’m living a nightmare. I didn’t want to wake up earlier, but I need to now, more than anything. 

I want to open my eyes and find her curled against my chest, snoring peacefully with her body warming mine. Like last night, a moment I could live in for forever. 

A vibrating in my pocket barges into my thoughts, and I’m unsure whether to welcome it as I reach for it. The same ringtone by The Cure sings from around my wrist, and my heart only falls deeper when I see the name claiming it. It sends a wave of relief throughout my body, but it only lasts a few seconds. The only name that could make it permanent is far from an option, and here I am, still wishing for it with my own two eyes. I wish that she wasn’t in an operating room somewhere in this same building, and instead her voice was singing from my phone. That’s how it was supposed to be, anyways. 

“Mum,” I answer softly, steps halting in the hallway. A sob freezes in my chest at the thought of having to speak truth into the nightmare I’m living. 

“Harry honey, what’s tha matta?” my mum responds, worry rocking her voice. 

“‘s Becks. She-,” I confess, but I can’t say it. I want nothing more than to say something else. When she asks if she’s alright, I want to say yes, and it sends wobbles down my legs knowing that I can’t say that. I can’t say it, because I don’t know it. 

“It’s okay, love, take a deep breath.”

“I can’t,” I weep, a wail escaping my lips, muffled by my palm. The tear stained skin flies to my hair that I tug at, ignoring the throb of my head hitting the wall of the hallway. “I can’t breathe, mum . . I can’t not knowin’ if she ‘s okay.”

“Oh, darlin’. What happened to her?”

“She w-was . . . inn’a car accident,” I admit breathlessly, sucking in lungfuls of air that don’t do a thing. A fire still lives deep down inside of my chest, and it was born the moment I heard Skye speak those words. “‘m at tha hospital now waitin’ t’ hear sumthin.’ Her best friend’s here with me, but, mum. ‘m so scared . . that ‘m gonna lose her fer real,” I whimper, swiping my tongue across my trembling lips wet with tears. 

“Oh, Harry,” she sighs, my sadness mirrored in her voice. “I’m so sorry, love. Do they know the extent of her injuries?” 

“I dunno, all they told her friend ‘s that she’s in surgery. We’re waitin’ fer sumbody t’ tell us mo’,” I answer, hiccups stealing my words away from me. “I hate sittin’ here not knowin’, I should go and ask . . but ‘m afraid t’. Mum . . ,” I trail off, weakness overwhelming my body that sags against the wall. I’m not even aware of the people walking past me and the hush of voices, but I couldn’t care less. 

“Breathe, honey, please. Everythin’ will be okay. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now, but it will.”

“Ya can’t say that! Ya dunno if ‘s true,” I exclaim, anger seeping through in my voice, but it’s misdirected. “I jus’ want this all t’ be a dream, I don’t want it t’ be real. I can’t think ‘bout it . . ‘bout her . . dyin’.”

“Shhhh, love. I’m sorry.”

“No, I am. But, God, mum . . I love her. I already know I do. I know it sounds bloody mad seein’ we’ve only been on two dates, but-,” I begin, but she interrupts me, reminding me of where I get my love of it from. 

“No, it doesn’t sound like that, honey. I know how you’ve felt ‘bout her these last few years, she’s been all you could talk ‘bout,” my mother says, and the only relief that I’ve seen is offered in her voice. 

“I love her, mum, and she m-might-,” I try to say, but I can’t spit those words out. I don’t think I ever could, and my desire to avoid them for the rest of eternity trumps all else. 

“Do you think she feels tha same way ‘bout you?” she asks calmly. A huff passes my lips, and I breathe in through my nose slowly. It doesn’t make a difference when a melancholy wave knocks me over. 

“Y-Ya . . I think I know she does now,” I whimper, my voice drowning in the tears. 

“And does she know how you feel ‘bout her, Harry?”

“Ya, reckon she does. I haven’t been able t’ stop lovin’ on her since our first date. And n-now . . I may neva get t’ kiss her ‘gain or hug her or . . ,” the sob leaves more trails of tepid tears on my cheeks. My thumbs press against my eyes, willing the tears to abate, but they don’t obey. Not one part of my body has obeyed my commands since I heard those nightmarish words. 

“Then it sounds like she has somethin’ to fight fer, love. It’s not tha ‘end all be all,’ but tha will to live is a powerful thing, son,” she tells me, the first licks of ice calming my feverish heart. 

“I hope yer right.”

“I’m your mum, I’m always right,” she quips, and the first hint of a laugh graces my lips. It’s gone as fast as it came, stolen away by another round of whimpers shaking from my lips. 

“Everythin’ will be okay, son.”

“And if they aren’t, and . . . she d-doesn’t make it, mum?” I sob, the words finding their exit between sobs that rip from my chest. Pain soars through the tear at the uttering of the words that I have to acknowledge, and wish that I never had to think. 

“Then mumma will be there att’a moment’s notice fer ya,” she replies, and I wish I didn’t hear the crack in her voice. It’s the very one that tore open the slit that the tears poured out through. This all started with the crack of a voice. “Lemme know if you want me to come, Harry.”

“B-But I jus’ got her back, mum. I can’t . . She can’t . . ,” I fail once again, and this time, I’m okay with it. I don’t want to ever have to say that word again, I’ve already uttered them one too many times. 

“You’ll never lose that love ya had, Harry. Trust me, I know ya can’t. I miss Robin every bloody day, but his passin’ didn’t take away our love or tha memories we made . . I know that your love with her only jus’ started, but ya had somethin’ special. I can already see that, darlin’, and you’ll never lose tha memories you made with her, and tha love that ya made together . . Think of those happy times ya had with her while you’re waitin’ for her to be outta surgery. After that, ya should get some rest, love. Sometimes surgeries can take long, and that’s okay, ‘cause you want tha doctors to be thorough and to do all that they can fer her. And they will do all that they can to save her, Harry . . It’s almost six o’clock, love, and even after her surgery is done, it takes a while to come outta anesthesia. It’ll be a long night. Try to get some rest, son, I’m sure she’d want you to,” she explains to me, and suddenly, I wish I could get a hug from my mum. 

The thought propels me into others, wishing I could hide in the arms of another. She’s always been my very favorite hiding place, and another wave rocks through me at the thought of never getting to escape to her arms again. Her smell sends my heart spinning as I drop my phone back into my pocket, aching to have her hair tickle my nose with the scent. Placing my palms against my eyes slick from crying, I hiccup in between tears. Uneven breaths pour in and out of me, and for a second, I can remember the traces of her weight in my arms. The smell of her orange blossom shampoo, the taste of her cherry carmex chapstick, and the strokes of black and gray ink along her wrist. 

“Becks, please be okay,” I mutter underneath my breath. My scalp sings with pain when my fingernails dig into the skin, making me realize this is all real. It’s not a dream that I can wake myself up from, because my life became a dream and then fell away into a nightmare. 

“Harry!” somebody calls my name. I don’t know how much time has passed, standing there in the corner of the hallway pouring my eyes out into my hands. 

It takes a few moments for my eyes to focus ahead of me, and for a fleeting second, her face appears in front of them. Blinking hard, I rub a knuckle against my eye, and she’s gone in a flash. Instead, I find Skye waving me back over to the chairs where a tall man in navy blue scrubs stands in front of her. 

“Coming,” I answer, clearing my throat as my feet remember how to work. The tingles that had settled into my sleeping limbs disperse as I take long, hurried steps until I’m at her side again, trying to forget the words she had said earlier. 

“Is this everybody?” the man says, tanned arms crossed over his chest. 

“No, wait!” another voice pipes up, and I spin around to find Robbie rushing towards us. “I-I’m her brother,” he continues, voice shaky with emotions. His eyes briefly meet mine before he stops at my side, engulfed by a hug of Skye’s. 

“Hey,” I mumble when he pulls away with a nod, his fist brushing along one of his cheeks. The greeting is difficult as my eyes are met with pain and striking similarity. Her very same baby blue eyes sit before me, as well as the wavy dark hair, and a distorted version of her lovely facial features. 

“Hey, Harry,” he returns, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat after his words. 

When his wet eyes meet mine, more unspoken words pass between us including ‘thank you’s and silent understandings. My squeezing grip is met by his taut arm when I watch the shiny tears fill his eyes. He nods back at me, quivering lips absent of words while another tear breaks free from his Holte Blue Eyes. Those goddamned eyes tear another rip into my heart at the mere sight, drudging up the wishes they conjured within my mind just last night. 

Styles babies with Holte Blue eyes. 

Please, God. Please let that still be a truth. 

“Now that we’re all here, I’m Jack. I’m sorry for the circumstances we’re meeting on, but I’m a nurse on your uh, family member’s team. Rebecca was in a serious accident, and we’re doing all that we can. She went into surgery around ten minutes ago, as soon as she got here,” the towering man explains, achieving the closest thing to quieting my mind. I’m just afraid that when he stops talking, my skull will be vibrating with more thoughts, and far worse ones. “She suffered some fractured ribs that unfortunately pierced her spleen, causing internal bleeding. That is the most urgent of her injuries, but rib fractures are incredibly painful. They can make it hard to breathe deeply or to cough properly, sometimes leading to chest infections. In the accident, she also fractured her ankle, but we’re not entirely sure of the extent of it. Due to the impact of the other car hitting her and the location of it, her right arm was broken and . . Grade 2 concussion . . amnesia,” a cloud passes over my ears then, and I turn away, soon falling into a nearby chair. 

Worst case scenarios bloom within the attic of my body, spewing tears onto my cheeks. Waterfalls cascade down them, fueled by the replaying of the man’s words between my ears. Fractured ribs. Internal bleeding. Chest infections. Amnesia. Broken ankle. Concussion. Broken arm. The tears come harder at the realization of every word, and how they laden my heart with further darkness. It falls into the recesses of my chest with each passing moment, the obscenities that left his mouth acting as the anchor that yank it down, further and further. 

I don’t hear my name the first few times, or register the hand on my shoulder. Swarms of possibilities that I can’t welcome lift me from my seat and down the hall once again until I repeat the past, and ram shoulders with Myles. My eyes fly to his surprised face, but it’s ephemeral before he’s pulling me against his front, and his hand is pressed against the back of my head. 

“She’s gotta be okay,” I plead into his shoulder, finding fistfuls of his blazer in my hands. “B-But internal bleedin’ . . amnesia . . broken bones . . a concussion . . infections. My’, I can’t do this,” the revelation feels prickly on my tongue as I fight to flight. 

“You can do this, Hare. You have to. Becky, she- she needs you to, mate,” he insists, hands waving stripes against my back. I shake my head back and forth into him, refusing to believe any of this. 

“No, this can’t be real. It can’t. I jus’ saw her, I jus’ kissed her and hugged her,” I weep, repetitive begging pouring from my tongue. My hands let go and I push at his chest for escape. He only holds me tighter within his steely arms, and I make out the first of his tears. “I shoulda told her that I loved her, I dunno if she knew. I shoulda told her,” I relent, my body becoming pliant against his. 

“She knew, Harry. I think she knew, mate . . You showed it to her in so many bloody ways, you didn’t have to say it. She knew it, she saw it. You’ll get to tell her, and hear her say it back,” he tells me, but my head hasn’t stopped shaking in denial. “Her friend over there is almost smiling, I think. The nurse is too, it looks like maybe it’s not so meek after all, Hare. It looks like she might be okay.” 

“This ‘sn’t funny, Myles, I swear t’-,” I wail, breaths filling my lungs and refusing to remain. A ‘no’ fills my ears, and I’m forced to turn around when he pulls away at the sound of my name. Yet, he’s not the one saying it. 

“Harry!” Skye calls, and her hurried steps follow her voice. Smearing the tears from my eyes, I gulp and find the bravery to look up. Becky’s best friend in the whole entire world stops in front of me, eyes rimmed with red. “They sound hopeful,” she reveals, the smallest spark of a smile sitting at the edge of her lips. Robbie stops a step behind her, shoving hands into his pockets while a tear falls from the slope of his chin. 

“Really?” I croak, stepping away from Myles until his arms fall from me. She answers with a nod and a rosy smile blooms on her lips before my eyes. 

“Yeah, they said her vitals are becoming more stable which is good. They’re amazed that her injuries weren’t worse, they said that she got lucky,” she explains, and it sounds like music to my ears. The first good thing I’ve heard tonight, albeit this whole affair only taking up the last hour of my life. It’s felt like days on end, not mere minutes. “I’m gonna go and call Chuck to tell him.”

My nod answers her words and Myles leaves with a pat to my back, “I’m gonna go and check on coffees again, maybe food later when you’re feeling like eating,” he announces. My hand finds its way to my curls once again, surely free of snarls now after the number I did on them. 

“It’s good to see you here. Well, not good given the reason why, but you know what I mean.”

Looking up, I find Robbie’s bleary blues pointed at me. I do all that I can, and that’s a nod. 

“You too,” I manage at the last moment, patting his arm awkwardly. His feet wander back over to a line of chairs, and I follow him. Falling into the one left of him, a hushed silence surrounds us. 

“Did she ever tell you that she has ‘feelings’ about things?” Robbie mutters, a sniffle interrupting his question at times. 

“Ya,” I sigh, my bottom lip numb from my teeth pressing into it from all directions. “Good and bad feelings.”

“Yeah . . I got one that I couldn’t shake tonight,” he reveals. His eyes flooded with glassy tears surprise me again, and I almost see her sitting in front of me. A memory from one of our times at the hospital threatens to break loose from the confines of my mind, but I hold it back. “So I rang her, she was just leaving work . . with you. She sounded so happy, and I couldn’t figure out why I’d gotten it. Now, I know . . ,” he finishes, an ironically melancholy laugh bringing his revelation to an end. “Twin intuition, I guess.”

“Ya,” I mutter again, unsure of what else to say. I can’t figure out what to think sitting here in my puddle of tears, let alone something something to fucking say. 

“I hated hearing that bloke say those things, detailing all of the shit that happened to her,” Robbie notes aloud, and I find that I can’t tear my eyes away from my hands when I hear the unmistakable sound of tears letting loose. “But I mean . . it helped, and I think I have a feeling she’ll be alright.”

Conflicting tears run races down the slopes of my cheeks, drenching my eyelashes with liquid sadness. It does little to calm the hammering inside of my chest, but the mannerisms of hers I hear in his voice magnify it just slightly. The brash taste of iron spills across my tongue, and I release my bottom lip from its grasp, but it’s too late because the blood is flowing. My hands blur beneath my eyes, the shocks of baby pink and pastel purple burning in my eyes. The very fingers that she held between her own so delicately just last night, swiping the nail polish brush over their naked canvases. Every other is a different pastel wash of color, and I can still picture the bright yellow and teal that I had painted on hers. 

The warm metallic taste concentrates on my taste buds when my lips press together harshly, few salty tears finding their way into my mouth with my new sob. 

“Yer sista, she- I-,” I stop quickly, not even sure of what I’m saying. I could tell a thousand stories, but I can’t decide which one is right. 

“I know, believe me,” Robbie insists, and at last, I glance over to him. Her dark chocolate locks fall over his forehead, longer than from the first and only time I met him at my firm years ago. The fringe tickles at his eyes, and he pushes it out of his face. “You have something else, you two. I’ve only been telling her to jump your bones for the last two or so years,” he divulges, and a laugh so out of the ordinary adorns my lips. It sputters to a stop, feeling wildly inappropriate, but it comes back to life when a similar one echos from beside me. 

His eyes meet mine briefly, and hold me there looking into her blue eyes as we chuckle together. It doesn’t necessarily feel right, because it feels oh so very wrong. When that thought worms its way into my attic, the sound floats away from the both of us quickly. 

“I heard it all, you know. Your story’s out,” he tells me matter of factly, but the sarcasm can’t find a place in his voice. It falls away, forgotten. “I told her it was about goddamn time you two started dating. She should’ve listened to me sooner, but no, she’s too fucking stubborn.”

“Yer tellin’ me,” I hum, running the pad of my thumb over the glossy nail polish. If I focus hard enough, blocking out the ringing of the phones and Skye’s hushed voice, I can hear her laugh in the recesses of my mind. Laughing about messing up my pink thumb last night, alarm raised in her honey-like voice. “‘m not much betta, ‘m afraid. I didn’t even get t’ ask her on tha first date, she beat me t’ it.”

“I heard . . That sounds like her, always gotta be in control. She had to do everything first when we were little. Talk first, walk first, ride a bike without stabilisers, or graduate bloody uni first,” Robbie remarks, dragging the sole of his Old Skool mustard Vans along the edge of his leftie. “I dunno how she’s gonna fair having her dominant arm in a cast, she’ll throw a fit.” 

“Oh, I know. They betta make it purple,” I comment, and he snickers beside me, the tears still falling although silently. 

“She’ll make them do it all over again if they didn’t do it right the first time. It better look all perfect for Ree.”

His tears drill into my ears, yanking at my heart, but a small relief accompanies them. He’s not using past tense, and although hardly noticeable, it makes this bearable. I’ve spoken to the bloke only once in my life, and she was there beside me then, but I find it easier with every second. Save for the moments I peek at him and see traces of her painted all over him. They aren’t bleeding twins for nothing, I admit quietly, even noticing them wearing the same brand of shoes. A pang attacks my heart when I see him spinning the braided silver ring around his middle finger, and too quickly, I could picture it being hers. 

“D’ya think she’ll . . ,” I begin, but it feels wrong from the start, and I wish it’d never begun. With a shake of my head, I pick off a piece of purple nail polish from my pinkie. The action ricochets around in my chest, and I blink hard at the searing action. No, I can’t, because there’s a chance that she won’t be there to fix it. 

“It sounds rubbish, but our feelings are always right, Ree and I. With our dad, her with you, and me knowing something was going to happen tonight. Now, I think it’ll be okay. Stupid, I know, but I just do. I-I can’t . . . can’t think about her not being okay, she’s my . . . twin sister. I don’t want to think about it,” he confesses in between scattered tears, words growing thick and indistinct. 

“Neitha can I,” I admit, my chest falling at the end when more tears break loose from their gates. “She can’t leave, n-not this early. There’s so much I want with her still. She’s made a damn good lawyer already, and I know she’d make a betta mum and-.”

“She will, there’s nothing she’s not good at,” Robbie concurs with a sad smile adorning his face. I blink, and it’s gone as soon as it had come. “She always got back up after she fell too, on our bikes, ice skating, or even with leaving uni and then going back. Working at your firm too, you could even say. I just- I really want to believe that she’ll get back up from this too.”

“Me too . . mo’ than anythin’,” I agree aloud, shuffling my gray rose ring up and down the length of my finger as I picture the flower that adorns her wrist. “I need Becks t’ be okay.”

+

Phoebe and Joey flit across the screen in front of me, laughs and smiles shared on their faces. My head falls at the realization that those are the furthest things I could feel right now, or do. Licking my chapped lips, another tear graces my tongue. They’re fewer now, however long it’s been that I’ve been sitting in this chair. Asher waits with wandering eyes a few seats over now, and somehow, I’ve only said two words to him. It sends crashing pain through my insides to look at Robbie, her literal twin, but when I look at Asher, avalanches of grief fall inside of me. 

The images in front of me spark memory after bittersweet memory, and they try to whisk me away to a time where I was sitting in a chair like this and she was at my side laughing. Shaking my head, I find it in my hands once again, their three voices murmuring off to the side while devouring subs with Myles. 

Somehow, it’s already late. The sky is pitch black outside, and the stars twinkling somewhere that I can’t find. My eyes droop and yawns leave me occasionally, but sleep couldn’t be further away. If it was knocking at my door, I’d ignore it then too. There were few updates, and each one sounded more hopeful, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up. I’ve done that far too many times concerning her, and nine times out of ten, it left me broken. I hope that I can curb that if maybe I don’t get excited, and yet, saying goodbye to the hope fuels the fire killing me off on the inside. 

I want to turn it off, but I can’t find the remote. I wish I could turn all of this off, but I don’t know how. I can’t let myself fall asleep. No, not until she wakes up, and they just left minutes ago saying she was done in the OR after a successful surgery. I was surprised by how little it had phased me, seeing how Skye jumped to her feet and Robbie was all smiles. Myself though, I couldn’t seem to find one anywhere. I can’t find him. Me. I felt Myles watching me, and worrying. I knew she would be doing the same thing if this was all different, and I couldn’t count how many times I had wished for that truth by now. 

I wished that this could all be different, and alas, here I am too scared to believe it could be. The fear debilitates me with every waking second to believe that things could be okay. I’m so afraid to believe that she’ll be alright, because this all seems so sick and that it changes with every corner I turn. 

The rest of the episode passed before my absent eyes, and then Skye was coming back from seeing her in Recovery. Tears plastered her cheeks now, more than before, and they didn’t shy away from mine either. 

“You should go and see her,” she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be honest, i-it’s awful seeing her like that, b-but . . . it’s her. She’s okay.”

Words flee from my lips, replaced with an adamant shake of my head. I can’t even meet her eyes, because the only ones I can see are Becky’s. Now, I try to push them out of my head as I stare at my feet, the splashes of pink and purple begging for my attention. The color I so deeply crave is only within her eyes, and with a whimper, I try to will the image back to me. I fail, and the tears fall harder down my cheeks, making me wish I could be peppering kisses along hers. 

I’m on my feet before I know what I’m doing, or where I’m going. The instructing words from before repeat between my ears, pulling my feet around a corner and then another. They take me left, and then right. A long hall appears in front of me, and then I’m searching the walls. Numbers climb and climb until I find the very ones I’m looking for. A sob splashes against my palm when it comes to my lips, pressing hard against my mouth. 

208, it reads but that’s not what I see. 

February 8th is what I see staring back at me. The day of our first date, only three days ago. How in the hell has it only been three days since? How in the living fuck has it only been three hours since all of this has happened? 

My feet freeze in their path, and I ignore the nurses and doctors passing me, zig zagging from room to bloody room. Beeping wanders into my ears, and I painfully wonder which one is hers. Which one of those beeps is from her heart? Will it come to an abrupt stop and bring people rushing to her? Can she even hear it? No, she probably can’t, she’s still ‘asleep,’ or so they said. 

I don’t think I’m ready. No, I can’t be. How in the bleeding world could I be ready to see what I’m about to witness? I couldn’t ever be ready for this, and I never wanted to be. I never wanted to be having these thoughts living in my head, more than mere doubts and nightmares planted there randomly. Alas, I know why they’re there, and not for the reason I think first. No. 

I worry.

I fear.

I cry.

I doubt.

I struggle for breath.

I grieve.

I sob.

I ache. 

Because I love. 

No, not loved.

I love. 

All of these emotions and signs of pain course through me, one after the other, because I love that girl lying in that bed just behind those curtains. I love her, and I’ve known it all along. It’s what brought me here, in every way possible. It’s what propels me forward when the nurse at the computer nods, sliding open the gray curtain. It’s what pulls my eyes to the bed, and to the false sounds of breathing. Love is what wrenches the sobs from my chest at the appearance of wires, tubes, and machines hooked up to her. Love is the force that spins me around and makes me shoot down the hall, crumpling to the floor once I reach the corner by the vending machine. Love is what fills my tears that carry images of her lying in that bed fighting for her life. Love fights within myself as my entire body is racked with sobs while I curl into a ball, wishing that seeing wasn’t believing. 

Love is what makes me want to go back to her, and cover her broken body with kisses. Love is what scares the living shit out of me, preventing me from doing that in this very second, because I’m afraid that I’ll break her all the more. Love is what sends the words tumbling off of my aching lips. 

“‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . . B-But ‘m not alright.”

+

My eyes continue to play tricks on me, but once I blink back the swarm of tears drowning in them, I find that this actually can get worse. Far worse. Their familiar glances shoot over to me and I don’t return them, ignoring the tears staining my skin. They disperse, but he remains there in the center of the waiting room, eyes on me. When I meet those sad blues at last, the newest sob is welcomed by my lips. In a blur, his arms welcome me and I let them. 

“It’s okay,” he croons against my ear, but my head shakes ‘no’s’ again and again into his unfamiliar shoulder. 

“But ‘s not. She’s not okay . . doesn’t even look like her in there. There’s so many wires and tubes and-,” my ragged breaths cut me off in time as his large hands clap against my back. 

“She’ll be okay. She’s a fighter, Harry, always has been. She’s already fighting hard, I see.”

“I wanted so fookin’ badly t’ think that this was all a dream, b-but then I saw her and . . . ‘s not,” I whimper, a new smell surrounding me as I clutch onto the back of his cold windbreaker. 

“Boops has been a fighter ever since she was born, Harry. Did she ever tell you that?” 

“No . . tell me what?” I return, my heart crashing around wildly inside my ribs, about to break free at a moment’s notice. 

“Her and Robbie had to stay in the hospital for a week after they were born,” Chuck narrates, his large palms pressed to my trembling back. “Not Ree, though, she was in and out. It only took her four days to figure everything out - how to breathe properly, eat, and even shit. But Robbie, he took a week. She was smaller too, but somehow she beat all the odds. They say that there’s typically a smaller twin who doesn’t get as much nutrition and the like while in the womb. They don’t have as good of chances thriving outside of the womb, but lookie there. Ree amazed us all, and she’s continued to do so ever since, Harry. I don’t think she’ll disappoint us today either, son,” he finishes, pulling away to cup my face with his palm. The Holte Blues stare back at me, and I catch her features mirrored in his. He nods at me with lips pressed into a flat line, and I see the tears welling in front of the blue as he pats my cheek. 

“Yer daughter, Chuck, I-.”

“I know you do, that’s why you’re here . .That’s why you’re so scared, and I’m rather damn positive she does too,” he returns, ending his words with a wink. 

I love her . . more than there are stars in the sky, and more than there are beats of my heart.

+

I had lost track of how many episodes I had watched of The Office on the telly, but it was wasted, because the images cut in and out in front of my absent eyes. The voices of those around me trickled through when I wasn’t battling with myself. I had long since ignored the gurgling of my stomach, and the buzzing of my phone. The only thing that finally woke me from my drowning senses was when Skye rushed into the room, jittery from the four coffees she'd downed. 

“She passed her vent test to come off it and is breathing on her own!” she exclaims, rather close to jumping for joy. Robbie soon finds himself caught in her embrace, and during my escape, I whiz past them and down the hall. 

“Becks,” I mumble under my breath, scratching at my cheek as the first new tears in the last half hour arrive in my tired eyes. I ignore their trailing voices, and the new sounds I’ve been drowning out. 

I rush past people and their stares, prying and not. Their eyes question me, and I don’t stop, craving the eyes that I’ve been without for far too long. Her blues. But I don’t find them when I delve into that room for the second time in three hours. Yet, I’m met with something miraculous all of the same. 

Most of the wires have disappeared from her body, and the tubes previously hidden in her throat are as well. The first hints of relief wash over me when I take another step, and then another until she’s within reach. It’s not the same and not how I pictured it, but there she is, just a step away. I’m so fucking glad it’s not like one of the ways I had thought of. Her skin is warm underneath my lips, singing praises behind my eyes. The splashes of blues and reds painting her face pull thick streams of tears onto my cheeks as I press kisses to hers. Steady breaths of hers tickle my skin, sprouting the first smile in hours on my lips. 

It’s my Becks. 

It’s her, my girl. 

Prickly stitches smatter her skin in places, but I avoid them as I run my fingers through her hair, brushing it off of her angelic face. A whimper escapes from my lips for a second, silenced by my hand as her face grows hazy from interrupting tears. My tears fall onto her ghost like skin, the remnants of orange blossoms speckled here and there. 

“‘m here, and yer alright. Everythin’s gonna be alright, my Becks,” I murmur against her forehead, peppering kisses to the freckles hidden amongst her skin. “‘m not goin’ anywhere, bug,” I finish, voice catching on the last word when I’m reminded of her saying the very same thing to me earlier today. “And neitha are you. Y-Ya keep yer promises too . . dontcha, Rebecca Ann? . .  An episode o’ FRIENDS came on earlier in tha waitin’ room . . it was our favourite one, ‘Tha One at tha Beach.’ I didn’t wanna watch it without you . . it hurt too much t’, b-but I shoulda known it was a sign that you’d be okay. And now, here ya are, me li’l fighta.” 

“I think . . I think I love you, Becks . . I dunno when I even decided that, seems ‘s been that way fer a while,” I confess into her hair, finalizing my words with another peck to her dark chocolate waves. “Please wake up so I can tell you, li’l one . . ‘ll be waitin’ here ‘til ya do.”

The only response I receive is the steady beating of the monitors sitting at her side. I watch them, sniffling, entranced by the numbers that vary only a few. A calmness washes over me as I lace my fingers with those of her left hand, careful of the wires, while watching the steady numbers. My eyes flit back to her, hidden underneath plain white blankets, and the pain makes a return to me once again. I know it’s all masked under there, the multitudes of stitches, casts, gauze, and brokenness. Injuries that I can’t fathom, no more than when that nurse breathed life into them in the waiting room.

“Ya said yest’day at me house that it was scary t’ admit how ya felt ‘bout me, and bloody hell, ‘s this scary t’ admit t’ you . . Last night I was thinkin’ ‘bout what our kids would look like. ‘m gettin’ ahead o’ meself, I know, only been on two dates so far,” I laugh ever so softly, thumbing at my ticklish nose while the whispers drop from my lips. Circles and curly mazes are left on her hand where my thumb draws them gently, even her name left there in invisible ink. “I hope mo’ than anythin’ they’d have yer gorgeous blue eyes, and prolly some perfect combo o’ our brown hair . . I hope they’d have yer cute li’l dimple, and yer beautiful laugh. Bet they’d be smart like you too, bug, and have yer drive t’ neva give up on sumthin’ . . I dunno if we’d be here if ya hadn’t given up on me . . and I promise you ‘m not ever gonna give up on you, Becks. Never . . ‘ll tell ya ‘bout all tha rest when ya wake up in tha mornin’. Sweet dreams, sleepyhead,” I announce, swallowing against my throat akin to a dessert.

Antiseptic and unfamiliarity greets my nose when I lay one last kiss on her forehead, careful of the nasal cannula across her cheeks. The feet of the metal chair squeal when I pull the chair closer to the bed, her hand limp in mine. Shocks of teal and yellow prick at my eyes, bringing the smallest of smiles to my face with a harsh gulp.

Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, my eyes scan over her obsessively, and lovingly. Underneath the strange blue gown, her chest rises and falls while her fingers remain warm in mine. I settle into the chair, adjusting it until I can lay my arm on the empty patch of bed at her side like a ninety degree angle. There, I lay my head, lulled into a quick sleep by her slow breathing, finally assured that she’s alright.

Only because of that, am I alright too.

+

My dreams had whisked me away, but it wasn’t for nearly long enough. I couldn’t know how long it had been. At the same time, it was too long and yet, not long enough. I didn’t know that I’d be grateful for waking up, and yet at the same time, the bittersweetness would make me yearn for my ignorant dream world once again. 

I’m woken by the feeling of something touching me, and as I slowly come to, I find it’s somebody playing with my hair. As sleep begins to drip off the edges of my subconscious, I can only wonder who that could be, until I suddenly know. My eyes fly open and flit to the face peering down at me. Her’s, and yet, it’s not. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” she murmurs in a scratchy voice, propelling my body upwards within a second. 

“B-Becks!” I stammer, blinking hard in between rubbing at my eyes quickly, trying to decide if what I’m seeing is real. I find it hard to figure out what I want to be real, glimpsing again the bruises and cuts brandishing her face. 

“Hi,” she whispers, trying to smile, but I see that she doesn’t have it in her. 

“Becks,” I croak, tears tugging at every breath of the word as my arms go around her, and my face dives into her hair. 

“Ouch, careful,” she protests, and profuse apologies fill the air around us. “It’s okay,” she insists, the wires getting caught between us and my body surrounding hers. 

I back up instantly at the sound of her painful words, but it’s the very last thing I want to do. Touching her and wrapping her up in my arms has been the only thing I’ve wanted to do this entire time, ever since I got the call. Reality blanketing me sends thick sobs from me, and into her hair that doesn’t even smell like her anymore. The smell of orange blossom and vanilla is absent, and it continues to make this entire thing worse. It makes it too surreal, more real than I can handle. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” she hums gently, a crackly sound to her labored voice. Her hands although dainty before, leave ghostlike trails on my back, adding another tally to the surrealness board. 

“D’ya rememba w-who I am?” I ask hurriedly, pulling away to find her exhausted eyes searching for mine. A corner of her chapped lips just barely curls into her cheek, the always present pink color fleeting in the moment. 

“Of course, you’re . . my Harry,” she mumbles with a long, tired blink. The mere five words pull thicker sobs from my lips. I just glimpse the beginnings of tears in her eyes when I return to her arms that beckon for me. 

“‘m so glad yer okay, Becks, so glad. I was bloody terrified ya wouldn’t be,” I confess into the warm crook of her neck, finding a trace of her fruity-vanilla scent tucked away there. 

“Me too, Harry,” she comments a few seconds too late, marked by a clearing of her throat. Although I’m not much better, I hear the evident struggle in her voice like she’s woken up after sleeping, but I know that the raspiness clouding her voice isn’t from that. It’s from the tube that was shoved down her throat to breathe for her, and probably caused the worst sore throat in existence. 

She hardly feels the same, body marked by wires and tubes, a scratchy gown, and an abrasive cast all along her right arm. Prickly threads dot her body in places where the glass left cuts too deep to leave, and the antiseptic smell of a hospital sticks to her all over. I want to hold her against me, to squeeze her all over until I know that she’s real and that this isn’t just a dream. The kiss I press to the top of her head is marred by the smell of iron, and the crusty feeling of blood hidden among her hair. The next one I leave on her forehead is better, and the warmth of her skin under my touch scores a point for reality, although a harsh one. 

“D’ya rememba . . what happened?” I wonder aloud, painfully. My heart, too shocked from the last several hours, doesn’t even budge when the sight of her again astonishes me. Her swollen left eye is surrounded by blue and purple bruises that paint her face in places. 

She nods her head up and down, until her face creases with presumed pain and she stops. My hand covers her entire cheek that I rub with the pad of my thumb, back and forth, back and forth. 

“I don’t know. . I only remember saying goodbye to you, and then . .  talking to the nurse now. I’m glad that’s the last thing . . I remember,” she replies slowly, the words fleeing her lips at times. 

“Y-yer amazin’, y’know that?” I sigh, the tears ever so present, and I’m unsure of when they’ll ever make their departure. A laugh tries to sound from her lips, but not even within a few seconds, her face is overcome with anguish. “Hey, are ya okay?”

“It hurts, but she gave me something.”

“Where’s it hurt, bug?” I question, eyes dancing across her body mostly covered by the thick hospital blankets. 

“Everywhere,” she exhales, sounding short of breath. My lips stray to her forehead once more to leave a peck there, unsure of what more I could do. “Mostly my head . . arm, and tummy.”

“Ya, that’s . . . where they cut ya open t’ fix ya up. And . . ya got a pretty nasty concussion, and a broken arm. It was a good thing ya were wearin’ yer seatbelt, love,” I tell her, struggling to resist covering her in kisses. If only that were the antidote for fixing all of this, for fixing her. I would do it in a heartbeat if it made all of this go away, as if it never happened. 

“Always,” she almost smiles, making my heart flutter. A smile tugs at my lips as I admire her, sure I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life, or bittersweet. She adjusts the nasal cannula feeding her additional oxygen, and I just hope it’s enough. I hope that this is all enough, and that so am I. 

Her heavy eyes drift closed, but the second they do, they flutter open again. They wander back to me and a stronger smile pulls at her lips, mimicking the same motion on the strings of my heart. 

“Don’t fight it, baby, get some rest,” I coo, stroking my fingers through her hair to move it away from her face, careful in doing so. 

“I’m okay . . I want to stay with you, Harry,” Becks admits gently, licking her dry lips. A sound of disbelief leaves mine. 

“Always so selfless, you are.”

“I’m sorry,” she yawns, wincing again at another wave of pain, making me step forward. If I try to again, there aren’t any more that I can take, regardless of the wishful thought that I have to slip into bed with her. “I can’t imagine how . . upset and scared you’ve been,” she apologizes, reaching a hand out to find mine, and it causes my heart to seize with a dose of happiness. 

“No, don’t you apologize. None o’ this ‘s yer fault, ‘s tha asshole who hit you whose fault it ‘s. Yer doin’ so good, Becks, ‘m . . . so fookin’ happy ya came back t’ me . . so proud. My Becks,” I say, smiling through the tears washing out my words. I see the smallest hint of the dimple in her left cheek when they round out from the tiniest of smiles. 

“I’ll always . . come back to you, Harry,” she smiles, and I give in, dipping to press my lips to hers. She may smell different, feel different, and even taste different, but the kiss makes me sure that this is my same Becks, and that this isn’t all a dream. Regardless of the fact that I wish it all was just a made-up dream that I could wake up from, I’m okay with the fact that it isn’t, as long as my girl is okay. 

Finally, she’s my girl. 

And finally, she’s okay. 

My Becks.

+

A/N: Hello, lovely people! Okay.... I am SO sorry for that, but thanks for sticking through it.. I promise Becks will be okay, I would never break up Hecky like that. I apologize for no real content warnings, I didn’t know how to do that without ruining the chapter... Also, please cut me some slack if I get any medical things wrong or they’re unrealistic, I’m not a doctor and I’m doing my best with what Google can give me and from personal experience in hospitals. Thanks SO much for reading all this way into the story, I mean it when I say I’m excited for you to see what’s going to happen! Feel free to visit my askbox if you want to talk after this rollercoaster of a chapter, I feel you. I’d LOVE to talk to anybody about Hecky anytime, or if you want a sneak peek of next week’s chapter lemme know! Make sure to check out the Hecky playlist - although it’s long, I think it has some great tunes on there that remind me of our fav couple! I admittedly had it playing the whole time I was making pasta the other day :P Have a great day, ily c:

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles wattpad #lawyer!harry #ceo!harry #boss!harry #office romance #lawyer romance #power couple #the assistant #pa harry #chaptered fic #new chapter #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #becky holte #narrymccartney writes #young adult #fiction

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Baby Love - Part 8

A/N- Wow its been a minute since i’ve updated this one! 💕

"Are you okay?" I heard Chris ask as i sat in the car staring at the new scan printout we were given.

"Im great" i smiled brushing my finger over the image "its just.... you can actually see that its a baby now! Before it didn't really look like anything"

"Starting to feel more real now huh?"

"Definitely! You wanna FaceTime your mom? You know shes dying to find out if shes getting a new granddaughter or grandson"

"You don't mind? We can wait if you want, just keep it between us....."

"I don't mind" i shrugged "you choose babe, its your family"

"I love you" he smiled leaning over to kiss me "ok, lets do this".

Chris pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled his mom, it only rang twice before Lisa appeared on the screen.

"Hey you two" she said happily "so?? come on...tell me"

"Wow straight to the point huh?" Chris laughed "okay, okay. Its a....."

"WAIT!!! DONT YOU DARE SAY A WORD UNTIL IM THERE!!!" We suddenly heard Scott yell in the background making us all burst out laughing, we saw him run in through the door behind Lisa and then he was squeezing in next to his mom to see us on the screen.

"Okay go, I'm here!"

"Hey Scott" i smiled giving him a wave.

"Hey mama, your looking good!"

"Thank you"

"Okay come on! I cant wait any longer!" Lisa interrupted practically bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Its a girl!" Chris announced loudly and proudly.

"Oh sweetheart thats amazing! And everything looks okay?...."

"Yep everything is good, doc said everything is as it should be"

"Thats great, i know its a scary time going through your first pregnancy,  if you ever need to talk to anyone im here for you"

"Thank you Lisa that means alot"

"Im here for you too! I dont know anything about pregnancy but anything else im your guy!" Scott added making us all chuckle.

"I'll keep that in mind Scotty"

"Okay guys well I'm going to get these two home, we just wanted to tell you the news"

"Okay sweetheart, you both take care i love you".

The call ended after the 'I love yous' we're exchanged and Chris drove us home, 10 minutes after getting home i was fast asleep on the sofa cuddled up to Chris. I guess it was too much excitement for one day!

It was the day before the Premiere and i still didn't have anything to wear. So here i was trying on dresses with the help from none other than Scott Evans!

He had been on the phone with Chris last night when he heard i still hadn't got a dress and insisted he take me out to find something.

"I can't believe you've left it this late Y/N!" He was moaning from outside the changing room.

"I know im sorry! But what was the point of getting it weeks before hand when i know im probably not going to fit in the thing when it comes to actually wearing it"

"Okay fair point" he chuckled as i turned around getting a good look in the mirror before i showed him.

"Okay, i think this one is good, its comfortable and it kinda hides the bump with the ruffles..."

"Okay well show me!"

I opened the curtain and he looked wide eyed at me "wow"

"Is that a good wow or...."

"Definitely good, only it doesn't hide the bump as much as you think" 

"In a way i cant wait for it be public knowledge, i don't want to have to worry about what I'm wearing when i leave the house you know?" I shrugged turning back to face the mirror and running my hand over my growing baby bump "I'm not trying to hide the fact I'm pregnant its just the hate i know I'm gonna get. But then i guess if I'm with your brother i should just learn to deal with it. Its never gonna go away is it? There's always going to be someone putting me down about something"

"There will be, but lets face it their just jealous. And you wont ever need to meet these people.... don't even read what they say sweetheart. You are an amazing woman and you make my brother so happy its actually quite sickening"

"Thanks Scotty" i laughed shaking my head at him "so this dress?"

"That dress!".

All of Chris's family met round at our place before the premiere where family photo's were being taken. It was nice to have photo's that were just ours and not splashed online for everyone to see. After Lisa said she had enough we all headed out to the cars, I was a nervous wreck from the second the car started moving. My stomach was in knots and i felt like i was going to be sick any second, without knowing i moved my hand and placed it protectively over my growing bump. Suddenly Chris's hand took hold of my free hand that was gripping the leather seat.

"You okay sweetheart?"

"Im just freaking out" i replied shaking my head with a tight smile.

"You'll be fine, i'll be with you every step of the way.... well i'll probably have to step away to give some interviews but Scott will stick by you, you'll never be on your own"

"I'll be okay once I'm there its just the thought of it.... everyones gonna know about the baby"

"And i cant wait for the world to know how lucky i am" Chris beamed leaning forward and carefully kissing me so he didn't mess up my lipstick.

The car finally rolled to a stop and already the crowd outside was going wild.

"You ready?" Chris asked turning to me smiling.

"Are you?"

"Not gonna lie my anxiety is through the fucking roof right now... but yeah. Lets do this" he took a deep breath and threw open the car door getting out quick before he could change his mind. I watched him turn and give a quick wave at the waiting crowd before holding his hand out to me. I took his hand and held on tight as i got out the car, the camera flashes already going crazy all around us. Chris wrapped his arm around my waist and lead me down the purple carpet keeping me close to his side, Scott followed close behind with his family keeping a close eye on us.

Once inside i felt myself start to relax a little knowing this part was just the cast interviews, i stepped off to the side with Scott to let Chris do his thing.

"You want some water?" Scott asked holding out a bottle of water "you need to stay hydrated"

"Thanks Scotty" i smiled accepting the water "i really wish this was alcohol right now" i said quietly to him making him laugh, i saw Chris looking over at me smiling.

"Pay attention!" I mouthed to him and pointed to the guy who was trying to talk to him and RDJ.

As soon as he had finished with that interview he made a be-line for me. His hands went straight for my hips pulling me closer to him.

"We're heading in now to watch the movie" he said pressing a quick kiss to my temple and taking my hand.

"So how many people have asked about us?"

"All of them, but funnily enough none have mentioned the baby"

"Huh, i thought they'd be all over that"

"Im sure someone will have said something by the end of the night".

The movie was amazing like always! I laughed and cried.... cried alot!! Damn hormones! Chris had kept everything to himself so i was still in shock after watching the movie. After the movie we all headed off for the after party, this is when i finally felt myself relax properly.

I was currently sat at a table with Scott while Chris did the rounds, i was starting to feel tired now, i wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed with Chris and Dodger.

"Hey sweetheart, you remember Sebastian right?" Chris smiled down at me with Sebastian Stan! Standing beside him. I felt my cheeks flush suddenly, Sebastian had been my celebrity crush for years!!

"Hey! How are you?" Sebastian smiled before leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Hi, I'm good thank you. How are you?"

"Im great. Its nice to see everyone again"

"I can imagine"

"Can i get you something to drink?" Sebastian offered.

"No thank you, I'm not drinking tonight I'm good with water" i smiled .

"Wait.... are you....?" Sebastian looked down at my stomach then over at Chris with wide eyes, Chris smiled and nodded proudly.

"What?!! man thats great news! Congratulations you guys" Sebastian grabbed Chris patting him on the back.

"Im so happy for you guys!"

"Thank you Sebastian thats means a lot" i smiled "lets hope everyone else is as happy for us"

"Babe its gonna be fine"

"I hope your right about that Evans".

(Photo's are for the dress not face claim, i apologise for my bad manips! 😂)

Baby love tags: @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony

@ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface

@afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12

@letsdisneythings @sellulii @patzammit

@katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict

@deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03

@shipatheart

#chris evans x reader #chris evans #reader insert #baby love #babylove

[babysizedfics]

It seems that for the little accidents, big developments Logan and Patton have kinda switched mindsets in a sense? Patton now feels Virgil likes Logan more than him. there is something i have started to notuce though. it seems the bond between roman and his caregivers at least to me seems slightly weaker than the bond virgil has with his cargeivers and i was wondering if he has picked up on that?

very astute observations anon!! this is all intentional

I talk about my thoughts behind the fic and it’s finale which might be seen as spoilers? idk but just to be sure im tagging with 'little/big spoilers' for anyone who wants to be cautious ^.^

Also it got quite long sorry

So

I knew from early on that I wanted Logan and Patton’s character arcs to be quite the opposite from each other

Logan was unsure of his role in the boys’ littlespaces at the beginning of the fic, but was reassured by Patton and by the end of the fic (I think you can already see) is going to be quite confident in his caregiving abilities and role as a mom

Patton on the other hand started out as being incredibly sure of himself as a caregiver - it is only natural since he is literally the designated paternal side, and he has been Virgil’s CG for three months. But by the end of the fic he will start to question whether he is a truly good caregiver.

Theres a lot of reasons for this but the main ones are that he feels responsible that Roman didn’t feel he was a part of the family, and he feels he has failed Virgil by not realising that he was being bullied online (and he believes Virgil must not trust him if he didn’t tell him that without Logan’s pushing)

And the inciting incident for all of this is that moment when Virgil regressed younger from wearing a diaper and became attached to his Mama rather than his Papa. This is actually because being pushed into such a young headspace made him imprint on whoever was with him at the exact moment he slipped younger. The reason why I wrote Patton leaving the room to wash his hands after the diaper change is because I wanted Logan to be the first person Virgil saw when he was suddenly pushed into that tiny baby headspace.

So Virgil hasn’t actually overcome his separation anxiety (this is the point that i thought would be most spoiler-y). The characters in the fic believe he has suddenly overcome it due to not being attached to Patton that evening - Patton’s narration even states it outright: “Virgil had seemingly overcome his separation anxiety”. But he is an unreliable narrator. Virgil has not been cured of his separation anxiety overnight, he has just shifted his attachment onto Logan for as long as his smaller headspace will last.

The bond between Roman and his CGs is definitely less defined than Virgil’s relationship to them, and this is one of the reasons he feels so insecure in his place in the family. Plus, we will see an anxiety of his addressed in the final chapter which will explain his desperation that Virgil still wants to be brothers.

The caregivers are not favouring Virgil intentionally at all, but they have spent much more time looking after Virgil than they have Roman. By the time Roman becomes a little and starts being included in the little activities, Patton has been a CG for two months and Logan for one month. There was a lot of baby bonding in those few weeks that he missed out on. Pat and Lo are learning to adapt their caregiving methods to be more inclusive of Ro since he is so different from Virgil when little, but they will get better at looking after their little prince.

Patton is already starting to make an effort towards this by researching how to make older siblings feel like they stll belong in the family (in the last chapter it was mentioned that Patton had been reading up on ways to make Roman less jealous of his baby bro) and by suggesting to Roman that they bake together on their own - this will become a weekly routine for them that really helps Roman to feel included as a member of the family.

Also, Roman’s behaviour when little is so bubbly that the CGs don’t always notice when he is feeling left out, because he tends to hide his negative emotions by being even more playful and louder

So yeah, I have planned out some pretty extensive emotional journeys and arcs for the characters to go through and they very purposefully do not all line up! This fic presents the most important part of Logan’s arc I think? Roman’s arc peaks just before LABD in another fic I have planned, Virgil’s arc is quite ongoing, and Patton’s arc really only starts at the end of this fic. And this isn’t ecen considering Janus arc too... (I’m undecided on Remus, but he’ll probably have one as well)

I really want to be able to address each of the characters’ journeys naturally and am spreading them across multiple fics to give each one due attention so it’s definitely a long-term writing project!

as always i did not have to go that hard when talking about my writing but here we are again

#little angst #little/big insights #little/big spoilers #little accidents big developments #little/big series #asks #anon

[chxoticmuses]

                       A CUTE SURVEY

1 ) what does your muse smell like?  very clean. not like a sterile clean, but like fresh laundry soap, the scent of shampoo lingering in his hair and the soft smell of soap on his skin. like sunshine and open windows, a fresh breeze floating through your air drying linens. and that’s just when he’s fresh out of the shower. when he wears a cologne, it’s also a clean sort of smell, but a little sharper and with a sweet, musky undertone. one that i’ve smelt and feel confident enough comparing it to is Versace Eros. it’s delicious ; lemon, mint & apple.

2 ) how often does your muse bathe / shower?  any habits? every single morning before she goes to work! She wakes up earlier than she needs to just to make sure that she has shower time in her morning schedule. She likes to be clean and professional looking for her job since it’s one where she’s interacting with people on a daily. On days when she’s off maybe she’ll slack a little bit and not take one until later on in the day or wait until night time to take a relaxing bath with soaks. She also has an extensive skincare routine that takes like 15 minutes to complete because she’s kinda obsessed with the idea of having clean and clear skin.

3 ) does your muse have any tattoos or piercings ?   WHEW! Isabella has 15 tattoos in total. She got them between her senior year of high school and first years at university. She was leaving boring ole West Virginia and going to Washington, so she wanted something to separate her from the people in West Virginia to show the people in Washington “Hey! Look!! I’m not boring like the rest of them!!” And what’s crazy is that she plans to get more. So far she has; a Dharma Chakra on her right shoulder, Pisces symbol on her right wrist, her parents' initials connected with one of those heart line thingies on the left side of her collarbone, ‘Why aren’t you smiling?’ on her left wrist, an Egyptian scarab on her right forearm, 7 principles of the samurai on her right leg, galaxy tattoo that takes up most of her left arm, a dragon with phoenix wings that takes up her back, a lotus on the right side of her torso, her childhood best friend's initials ‘DP’ on her index finger, a mushroom on her lower left leg, a feather pen on her right wrist, and a moon on her other index finger. She also has the right side of her nose pierced.

4 ) any body movement quirks ( ex : leg shaking ) ? Whenever I write a thread where Isabella is taking notes on something I always mention this sleek silver pen she carries around with her. She likes to fiddle with things a lot, it’s hard for her a lot of the time to just sit there and listen to someone talk without fiddling around with something. She has one of those cube thingies with like the buttons, knob, etc but she thinks that’s unprofessional to bring to interviews, so she carries around the silver pen because it doesn’t make any noises when you click it repeatedly. When she has neither of those items, she rocks back and forth without even noticing it sometimes, paces around, or messes with her fingers. This is due to the mild ADHD she suffers from and when it flares up too bad to where she can’t even focus on her work or she finds herself diverting away from conversations, then she’ll take Adderall or some other medicine to help.

5 ) what do they sleep in?  In oversized tee shirts or sweatshirts in just her underwear. If she even remembers to change before dozing off.

6 ) what’s their favorite piece of clothing ? The dress she made from scratch for her senior year of prom! Her dad did something to his hip that required the money that was supposed to go towards her dress towards his hip replacement, so with the help of her mom, she made this really pretty royal purple prom dress with gold outlining. She doesn’t wear it, obviously, but it’s still hanging in her closet.

7 ) what do they do when they wake up ? first thing? Push her cats off of her because they have a habit of laying on top of her when she goes to sleep, go to the bathroom, take a shower, do her skincare routine, pick out an outfit for the day, check her phone to respond to texts and see if she has anything special on her agenda for work today, feed her three cats and leave water out for them, go to her favorite bakery, meet up with Andre, and then make her way to work!

8 ) how do they sleep ?  position ?  On her stomach, face down into the pillow with the cover pulled over her head, one hand under the pillow and the other one either dangled over whoever’s sleeping with her, one of her cats, or just gripping the bed. 

9 ) what do their hands feel like ? Super soft and moisturized! Her skincare routine isn’t only exclusive to her face, she makes sure to get all of her body too, and especially her hands since she seems to shake hands with people on an everyday basis. They’re always nicely manicured and a soft as a baby’s bottom.

10 ) if you kissed them, what would they usually taste like ? Isabella applies chapstick and lipgloss all the time, usually flavored ones but not the ones that taste too artificial. So when you kiss her you’ll usually taste some sort of berry, honey, or tea because she drinks that a lot.

TAGGED BY: my babymomma @footagecaught​  TAGGING: STEAL IT FROM ME!! BUT TAG ME CAUSE IM NOSEY AND LOVE YOUR MUSES

#( BELLA HEADCANONS. ) #( BELLA ABOUT. ) #( OOC. )

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #memery #long post