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og-danny-dorito · 4 months

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[ VOYEUR : GOJO X M!READER HEADCANONS & BLURB ]

[ A/N ] : came to me in a moment of clarity while i was scrolling through content for him on tiktok. this is my design (gay men kissing)

[ CW ] : MDNI 18+, AMAB!reader, he/him pronouns for reader, established relationship, pet names, degradation, all parties are consenting

its a SERIOUS ego boost unsurprisingly LMAO

no im being so ffr rn i cannot possibly explain to you how much he's into the whole being watched while undressing/getting off thing

gojo isn't stupid; he knows you like watching him from the way your eyes linger on him while he's getting ready for work in the morning to how he always finds your gaze straying to him when you're in public

and honestly? it's comforting to him, a way to add fuel flame of his nearly insatiable need to be wanted, to be desired

but he didn't know you'd like watching him like this

well, he had a hunch you would at least. he figured it out when he first caught you watching him while he was jacking off in the shower after a long day of work, having decided to let off some steam while he waited for you to get home

he could hear you come in, but didn't bother to stop considering he thought you'd get flustered like you normally do and just go about your business as you waited for him to get out

only he heard you stop at the door to listen to him, trying not to do something as simple as breathe so as not to disturb him. he can feel you watching steam surround the cloudy room as he cums, grunting out your name under his breath

it was almost fascinating to him how much you seemed to enjoy it, unable to hide a grin at the sound of you suddenly darting off once he turned off the water, making a move to get out so you wouldn't get "caught"

so he keeps doing it. taking off his clothes to change at an agonizingly slow pace, bending over and posing himself in compromising positions as if he's trying to rile you up on purpose (he is)

there's no way he couldn't have known, really; his six eyes makes it almost impossible to sneak up on him anyway and he's almost surprised that you didn't put those dots together earlier, but he doesn't mind keeping up this little game between you two at all

he likes having the power in his hands to tease you, some power quiet and unspoken in a way that holds much more weight for him than anything he could be doing deliberately

but he pretends like he doesn't for the sake of the game. he waits until you're home, putting on a show for his not-so-secret admirer

like bro's arching his back, moaning your name- he's going the whole mile dude. he's trying to get you as worked up as possible

and when the time finally comes and he can feel you getting close he stops suddenly, going "who's there?" like he doesn't know damn well it's you

as soon as he finds you he grins like he's won some sort of competition you didn't know you were participating in, calling you a perv and saying "If you wanted to watch me get off so badly, why didn't you ask?"

his favorite thing is to catch you and then make you sit down on the opposite side of the room while he continues getting himself off, scolding you and degrading you when you move to touch yourself- or him for that matter

his version of a punishment for your "bad behavior" is just to tease you to see how long you'll last before you're begging to suck him off or have him fuck you or just touch you, really, finally relenting after he too gets impatient

he'll smile and "begrudgingly" agree too it, meanly calling you a "desperate slut" the whole time and making an effort to push you to beg for release

he's almost always going to make you thank him for it once he's done, too, making you cum hands free or finishing in your mouth and getting a sick grin on his face when you whine "thank you" with sensitivity and desperation lacing your tone

in short, he absolutely LOVES it and will 100% encourage it LMAO

"What, watching me isn't enough this time?" His voice comes out mean and teasing, eyes filled with some sort of affectionate mirth that almost feels out of place with the position he's in. It's dark in the room, dimly lit save for your bedside lamp and the streetlights shining through blinds in the window. His vibrant white hair is tousled and unkempt as it usually is, but the slight sheen of sweat that coats his skin and makes some of the snowy white strands stick to his skin makes him almost look heavenly. You think for a moment that despite the insatiable need for release in your gut and the tight fist you have in a near tearing grip on the chair's arm, it might be heaven to be here. Gojo is propped up on the bed with his left arm held at a 90 degree angle so he can look across the room at you, his other one draped across his hip so the grip on his shaft is just loose enough that he can stroke up and down without having to move much else but his hand, the flushing pink tip leaking a lot more precum than you saw when he didn't know you were watching. Well, 'didn't know' is wrong, you've noticed, taking into account the fact that his smile is all to wide for him to not have been plotting this all along. He makes a show of stroking himself almost as he did before, rolling the palm of his hand over the tip during the upstroke and letting out a near pornographic moan at the feeling. You know he's just teasing from the way he jolts a little bit afterwards and giggles at your tense shifting, not daring to take your eyes away from him. Not now, not at that he knows he has your full attention. You'd rather just obey than tear your eyes away from him, and even though you shift to relieve some of the white-hot pressure in your groin it isn't enough to satiate the overwhelming need to just touch him. "No.", you strain out, and he smiles wider, his hand picking up it's pace a bit. "Then why don't you just ask for what you want this time instead of being a little perv about it, hm? Go on, ask." You bite down a retort at the comment but still narrow your eyes a bit, the flush on your cheeks darkening a bit once you realize he won't relent in this teasing until you've nearly humiliated yourself for him. It's almost enough to make you want to tell him to shut the fuck up, but it isn't enough to stop you from visibly gulping down your pride as you shift again, this time nearly ripping the couch with how tightly you're gripping it. "Please let me touch you, Gojo. Please.", you rasp out, adding on the extra plea to try and garner some sort of sympathy from him. And apparently it works enough for him to laugh again, spreading his legs a little wider as he releases his dick from it's hold and motions for you to come over. He cocks his head to the side as he sits up fully now, watching you with need as you nearly lunge at him like a hungry animal, letting you roam your hands over his body as he breathily chants "Good boy." into your neck.

[ THANKS FOR READING! REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED :] ]

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mintsalsa · 7 months

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relationship hcs — sam coe (starborn!mc)

a/n: this post may contain spoilers, please skip if you haven't completed starfield's main story and come back later!

sry fallout peeps im in space cowboy dreamland rn 🤒 if anyone's interested i'd be down to write a non-starborn mc version too, so if you'd like to see that lmk! now buckle in losers bc i am feral

(nsfw below cut!)

★ ! sfw

he's going to be somewhat wary of you at first

you don't divulge the nature of your relationship with "the original" sam coe at first, but he can tell there's something pulling at your heartstrings every time you look at him

so after a while and some getting to know each other, he decides to ask

he's a little wooden and awkward about it, but it still almost manages to make you tear up

when you admit to him that you and him were lovers in your universe, he's caught off guard

he doesn't really know how to react, so he just reaches out to touch your shoulder in comfort as you try not to cry

he liked you, of course - you were strong and dependable, and your dry sarcasm never failed to light up his eyes in amusement - but lovers?

you assure him that you don't expect anything from him

it's the strangest feeling for you as well - it's him, but at the same time it's not really him, after all

sam tries to ignore what you've told him as best he can

there's no obligation to make you feel comfortable, you've told him that much

then why could he not stop thinking about what it must've been like to kiss you?

he'd rather die than admit it, but he grows significantly more observant of your behavior, more attached

he thinks about this other sam, this other him, and that there must've been a reason why that guy ended up falling in love with you

if he did it once, surely it could happen again, right?

and before he even realizes, he's absolutely smitten - once again, he can't deny that his souls seems to yearn for yours

you're conflicted when he awkwardly stumbles over a confession one night

but then you think of the other sam, your sam - and all of a sudden you're convinced that he would've gone to find you again, too

it almost breaks your chest when he kisses you again for the first time

he's warm, safe, and he feels so, so much like home

that night he holds you in his arms as your tears soak the fabric of his shirt

dating sam coe is chaotic in the best way possible - not even the slightest chance of boredom

he loves to tease, and you're no exception

the way you are with cora makes his heart swell inside his chest - it makes him want to marry you right then and there, on the spot

he's always dreamt of a partner like you, and there's nothing he wants more than to explore the entire universe with you, all over again

yet, his favorite thing is to hold you in his arms at night after a slow evening at the lodge, feeling your chest rise and fall under his palms while you quietly poke fun at each other

his kisses taste like cherries and spice, and he's so, so good at it that you sometimes fear you might lose your head

now you know no matter when, no matter where, you'd always fall back into each other's arms

★ ! nsfw

this man is a tight bundle of unbridled passion and sweet words of affirmation

sometimes it's hard to catch a break from everything and find the time for intimacy, but that doesn't dwindle his burning desire for you

much like with kissing, he's definitely spent the odd night wondering about what sex with you must've been like, what you might look like underneath your clothes

and when he sees you and the tips of his fingers touch your skin for the first time, it almost feels like the revival of a distant memory

he loves being teased, but he might love being in control even more

it always feels like his hands are everywhere at once - your face, your hips, your neck

he goes absolutely crazy whenever you push your hands into his hair and pull him closer

i see a bit of breathplay with him

he just loves feeling your body whenever his chest is pressed against your back, with a gentle hand on your throat and sweet, filthy words spilling past his lips

if you submit to him fully you can expect a lot of praise, too

you make him the happiest man in the world, in the universe - and if you had to do it over and over again, then he knows he'd let you

#starfield #sam coe #sam coe x reader #starfield x reader #starfield companions #f: starfield #c: sam coe #g: hcs #i cannot STRESS enough how brutally i need to smash

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mikachacha · 6 months

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GIRL APOLOGIZE WITH TEARS RN FOR DOING THAT TO HAECHI IN THE WAY I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭

(i mean if you could do haechi x reader fluff is also okay 😗 but make it extra long pls)

𝙴𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍

Synopsis: You're a foreign artist on a tour and during your show in Korea, you met one dancer that seemed to have taken over your thoughts.

Warnings: angst & tooth rotting fluff for Haechi because my other big baby deserves some love 🫶 and because i did her dirty 😭😭😭

(A/N: im still quite busy that's why updates are very slow but i swear once my sched clears up, imma bombard yall with fics)

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You're a pretty famous foreign artist and currently on tour. You were looking forward to going to Korea since it has been a dream ever since you became big in the industry. When you were finally there, you took a whole day to explore and have fun before you started making preparations for your upcoming concert.

You're having some snacks in a café and when you looked out the window, you saw a girl with curly hair along with other women. They seem to be a group of friends who are having fun but you can't stop thinking about the tall one. She's way too cute, very much your type but it's a shame that you'll only be in Korea for a few days before you move to Japan as it's part of your tour. You sighed and pouted a bit, your own thoughts making you sad that you didn't even notice they entered the café you're at until someone from their group approached you with a very happy grin which made you feel happy as well as their smile is contagious.

"Hi Y/N, I'm Mini and I'm a huge fan.. Do you mind if I ask for a picture with you?" the girl, or Mini asked.

"Hiii oh my goodness. I don't mind at all!" you happily said. You took pictures together and she even asked you to sign her phone case, which you did. You invited them to your table to chitchat and get to know her and her friends since that's what you're known for by your fans. You always find time to sit and chat with them.

You learned that they're pretty famous as a crew of dancers and they even invited you to dance with them if you have free time that got you feeling giddy from pure excitement. Haechi couldn't help but be amazed at how beautiful, kind and humble you are. You're this famous artist but you're talking to them like you're just a regular, nothing special kind of person.

"Your hair is so pretty.. I wanted to have that but my manager said no. Still salty about it." Haechi's brain seemed to have stopped working when you complimented her hair. She was smiling like an idiot while a soft blush crept its way to her cheeks that got her team smiling in a knowing fashion as they watched their youngest blush even at the simplest compliment from you.

You hang out with Wolf'lo for the rest of the day, they were nice enough to show you around and they even teach you some basic korean words that you could use to interact with your fans at your concert. You wanted to invite them as your guest acts at your concert but they won't be able to perform due to them competing in a dance competition. You were a bit saddened but they promised to attend your concert so you gave them backstage passes then you parted ways with them since your manager will personally whop your ass if you didn't go back to the hotel you're staying at.

You and Haechi would constantly message each other on instagram whenever you're free. You enjoyed every second you spent talking to her and you even developed a crush on her though you constantly try and remind yourself that you're just staying over her country for a few days so it's not possible for you two to date unless she's in to long distance. You just basked in the attention you're receiving from her.

Unbeknownst to you, Haechi has been feeling the same. Talking to you has been the highlight of her day. She absolutely loved the messaging you, just getting to know you better. Her team has been teasing her for days regarding how close she is becoming to you, some even going as far as telling her to just fess up and ask you for a date before you go off.

The day of your concert came and you were very anxious backstage. You don't know how the Korean crowd will react to your performance and because you just love stressing yourself out by overthinking.

"Hey Y/N!" Haechi waved at you and you couldn't help but blush because one, she looks so cool and hot in her outfit and second, you have realized that you're definitely crushing on her.

"Hiiii I'm so glad you could make it! Where are the others?" you asked and she gave you a hug that calmed your nerves a little bit but got your heart racing from a different feeling that's far from the anxiety of having to perform onstage.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world. Mini and the others will be a little late. Think they're stuck at traffic.." Haechi says and you smiled, nodding your head. You wanted to chat with her some more but you were called by your director, telling you that you're gonna be on stage in a minute. You don't know what came over you but you gave Haechi a kiss on the cheek before running off. Haechi was left there stunned, blushing and holding her cheek which still has your lipstick mark on it. She smiled like an idiot as she saw you run off.

The concert was a blast and you're having so much fun. Performing and then seeing your fans enjoying themselves is what keeps you going. Halfway through the concert, you grabbed your guitar and asked for a chair so you can play more comfortably. You added this little number the last minute so nobody from the audience anticipated it.

"So uhm.. I'm gonna play a song. Well it's not one of mine but from Ms. Taylor Swift. I just wanna play it to get some feelings out of my chest." you spoke and there was a series of 'awww' and little squeals of excitement as you began to play Enchanted on your guitar. All you could think about while singing the song is Haechi, the bittersweet feeling of liking her but you couldn't tell her since you're only there for a limited number of days then you're also not sure if she likes you or not.

"This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you.." you sang your heart out then glanced at the back to see Haechi peeking and you gave her a slight smile while you continued singing.

"Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you.." at that point, you weren't just singing anymore. You're sat there, trying to tell her how you feel and just hoping that maybe she feels the same way as you do.

You continued singing and Haechi couldn't help but feel mesmerized by how good you are and how pretty.. She's just so mesmerized by you. She could swear that her heart broke and melted at the same time when you looked at her as you sang. She could feel every emotion you've put into that song. She wanted to go up there, hug you and hold you close and assure you that she's not in love with someone else but then again, you're this famous star. You're from different backgrounds and she feels like you're meant for someone greater than her.

When you were done with the concert, you immediately ran backstage but was disappointed that Haechi wasn't there anymore. You changed into more comfortable clothes before you hang out with your new found friends and did some pictures with some fans. Maybe it really wasn't meant to be, you and Haechi are not meant to be together. It hurts a bit but you accepted it. Maybe it's for the best.

It was the last night before you're about to head off to another country. You're just packing your stuff and listening to music, you don't really feel like going out since you're a bit sad about leaving and not being able to tell Haechi directly about your feelings or going out on a date with her. You still talk to her but you feel kinda awkward now and just very down.

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't notice someone was knocking on your door until you heard the third set of knocks. You quickly got up and peeked through the peephole to see Haechi, looking nervous as heck. You panicked a bit, you wanted to scream and cry and just hide but you opened the door for her before she can knock again. You looked at her, confused and she looked back at you, a relieved smile on her face before pulling you in for an embrace.

"Thank goodness you're still here.. Chocol and the others told me you're already leaving.." she says, her voice cracking and you rubbed her back gently before guiding her inside. It broke your heart seeing Haechi sad but you couldn't help but feel hope bubble inside you because she came to see you on your last night in her country. It got your hopes up that maybe, just maybe, she feels something for you as well.

"Well I'm actually just packing my stuff. I have to leave to go to the airport at 10 am tomorrow." you told her and she frowned, holding both your hands and kissing your knuckles. She held your hands like she didn't want to let you go.

"I know that there's not enough time for us. You're leaving for your tour and I'm not that selfish to stop you from leaving.. But Y/N I couldn't stop thinking about you. Ever since we met at the café, and especially when you kissed my cheek before your concert. It took every ounce of self restraint to not run up to the stage, hug you, kiss you and assure you that I'm not in love with someone else.. That I'm only in love with you but I was scared. Fear got to me so I left instead. I mean, you're this famous star with so many people lining up to date you and I'm just this dancer from South Korea. You deserve so much better.." Haechi finally confessed and you were stunned for a moment. All this time Haechi was also into you?

You cupped Haechi's cheeks and placed a kiss on her lips. It was soft, it was wonderful but it's also bittersweet. You're sharing your first kiss the night before your scheduled leave. You pulled away and rubbed your thumb on her cheek, smiling.

"If you can just wait for me until the end of this tour, I will come back for you.. I wanna give us a chance, I really do. But if you can't wait for me that long, I'll understand. But know this, what I feel for you is real.. I'm in love with you, Haechi." you told her and she nods, placing a kiss on your lips before embracing you.

"No, wait for me instead. I'm just gonna finish my prior commitments here then I'm gonna follow you where you go. I wanna be with you, no matter how far that is. As long as I'm with you then I'm gonna be okay." she told you, her eyes sincere and you nodded. She spent the night at your hotel room, just you and her cuddling together until sleep claimed both of you in its sweet embrace. Haechi went with you to the airport and before you went off with your team, you ran to her and gave her a kiss. You couldn't care less about people seeing, you don't really care what people are gonna say. All you cared about it Haechi and the love you have for each other. You smiled at her and she kissed your forehead before ushering you to go. You didn't say goodbye because you know for a fact that you're gonna see her again.

#swf2 x reader #swf2 #haechi wang #haechi x reader #wang haechi #haechi wang x reader #haechi wang fic

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pool-floatie · 5 months

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Tall Tales Part 1.

Ok: to premise, this is my first ever work that I have posted, ive reread it a billion times anxiously and im finally gonna post it, dont have any art of the characters rn, use your ⭐imagination⭐ and or self insert 😏👍

The relationship can be taken romantically or platonically at this point, but it will have romance later on.

Here we go!

Avril unknowingly wanders off the path , as the trailmarkers are unclear and it is fairly new, they follow a straight clearing of trees, taking a left, walking for about a mile and going in a few circles.... and finally realise that they are lost. "noooo... .shit.."

They stay put, not knowing where to go and begin to call out to anything around them....

"Helloooooo!!!!!" they bellowed

"Im lost can anyone hear me !!!!"

Silence.....

That is until the slow rythm of the shaking ground became apparent, they looked around, fearing that an earthquake or rockslide would be their next challenge. Unable to pinpoint the source, Avril sprinted to the middle of the clearing, knowing they would be safer from falling objects.

The shaking persists, becoming louder, the pauses between make them wonder what the hell would make this sort of noise... None of their guesses were correct.

While wandering the forest, Jace senses something peculiar in the air, a scent he hadnt smelled in a while...

He approached the source, seeing a clearing, and right in the center. . .

Was that a human ? Jace smiled to himself, heheh, this would be fun~

Jace attempts to be lightfooted, it seems to have worked, in a way, as the human cannot tell where the massive tremors originate, it looks around jolting its head back and forth- Jace steps out of his hiding spot behind the thick foliage, revealing himself to the tiny being who is speechless at the sight of him. Crouching down and idly resting his chin in his hands, Jace takes in it's delightful look of shock and disbelief.

Avril stumbles backwards, attempting to fully take in the impossible sight before them. unable to form coherent thought, let alone words, avril can only stand there, eyes torn open, mouth agape and stuttering half-formed words.

Jace l o v e s this feeling, that look on the poor humans little face ~ mmm, he wishes he could savor it forever.

" Hello there ~" taunts the giant,

"what might you be doing wandering around here ?"

After a moments pause, trying to gather themself, the human speaks up.

"I-i-ii-im lo - lost , the- the tra-ail -"

"-Ohhhh, I see. And you managed to find yourself in my territory! How unfortunate for you~"

Avril pales, not sure what this giant was insinuating, but considering the dark tone he dropped into, they were sure that it was nothing good.

Jaces reaches a hand down, grabbing for the human.

Naturally, Avril attempts to run the fuck away, but they are promptly sprawled out on the ground by a massive hand s l a p p i n g down onto them.

Avril cries out, both from pain and fear as talon-like fingers wrap around their fragile form.

They are hoisted up quickly and flipped over onto the palm of Jaces hand.

Avril attempts to steady themself on the unfamilliar surface, their weak and pained body is assisted by adrenaline, they scramble to get off this thing and run as far away as possible, almost jumping from the surface until they realise the horrific height they have ascended to. Avril backs away slowly, sitting down and hugging their knees. Jace curls his fingers behind their back, making sure they dont fall or try to jump off again.

Avril pants and coughs from the dirt they inhaled during their capture, and Jace eyes them with curiosity.

"Whered' you come from?"

They gasp for a moment more, trying to get their bearings , Jace waits patiently

" a, um , a cam- campground" avril stutters, their bodys tremors match their voice.

With this question, Avril held hope, maybe the giant woud be taking them back?

"Mhm- and what is your name?"

"Av-ril?"

"Ohhh, that is so cute! im going to call you Av for short~"

Oh joy, nicknames.

"Well, my name is Jace." He stated simply

"Jace...?" Av spoke up nervously

"Hmm?"

"W-w what , why,. or-or .u-um"

They had so many questions, all equally terrifying to ask to an 80 ft tall being that literally had your life in its hands

Av took a breath, tremors still shaking their body " Are y- you going to- to let me go... ?" they asked with a slight glimmer of hope

Jace snickers, "let you go? Aw, now why would I want to do that? No darling your stuck with me."Jace teased.

-At least he wasnt mad I asked,,-Av thought, trying to keep a little hope so they didnt start spiraling.

"Av, I cant say I've had the pleasure to meet one of your kind before" jace said with curiosoty

"o- oh, um, same?"

"haha! Well im sure you havent! You humans are quite interesting, but I havent ever been able to get a good look at you before~"

Jaces other hand neared the human, they squeaked,backed up a bit, then, realising they could fall to their death, decided to maybe not do that and curled back into a ball instead.

Jace pinched av's arm between his fingers, not taking too much care to be gentle. Av clenched up, unsure what the behemoth wanted with them, what if he was going to tear their arm off! He could rip Avril limb from limb without breaking a sweat! Maybe he wanted to see how much meat they had on their bones.... See if they were even worth eating.

Jace could feel its tiny, tiny fingers between his huge ones, ahh, that is just too cute! His fingers slide up its arm, so little and squishy~ its cute little face was tragically covered up as it curled into itself. Jace then noticed the humans shaking , his mouth made an 'O' shape realising he may be hurting it. . . he released its arm, which was immediately pulled into the shaking ball.

"whups, you alright tiny? "

After a few seconds of no response

Jace poked it, eliciting a surprised squeak.

"What are you doing all huddled up like that ?"

Still no response came from the shivering mass

"Hmmm. . . "

Jace shifted his hand, causing the ball of human to roll for a second, letting out a short scream as it unfurled. Jace was happy to see it's little face again, it was still shaking but at least he wasnt being ignored.

He hummed in thought before pivoting in the other direction, away from avrils last connection to the human world.

#g/t #giant/tiny #my art #micro/macro #origonal work #giant #tiny #g/t fearplay #hurt/comfort #origonal character

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found-wings · 7 months

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I WAS MINDING MY DAMN BUSINESS LISTENING TO ONE OF MY FAV SONGS AND THE BUS OF CODE PHIL RAN INTO ME AND DESTROYED MY LIFE anyway which witch by florence + the machine (best artist ever) oh my god is literally him in the worst way possible the pain the agony (also if u don't want anymore song recs idm^^ ik I've left quite a bit in the askbox but I can slow down if needed :] )

And it's my whole heart

Weighed and measured inside

And it's an old scar

Trying to bleach it out

And it's my whole heart

Deemed and delivered a crime

I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out

Who's a heretic now?

Am I making sense?

How can you make it stick?

Waiting 'til the beat comes out

this verse radiates energy from the realization he has of his history with the federation combined with them realizing that he's figured them out and need to make quick work of him in order to keep him in line. not only messing with him physically in experiments but also mentally in making sure to break him down and making him look crazy in order to decrease his threat levels towards any future acts they may commit against the people of the island. also the 'deemed and delivered a crime' can also associate with the brief period of certain members of the island learning about phils federation lineage and creating contingency plans behind his back in case he goes rogue to attack them. (of course he does but not willingly ;-;)

I'm not beat up by this yet

You can't tell me to regret

Been in the dark since the day we met

Fire, help me to forget

And it's my whole heart

While tried and tested, it's mine

And it's my whole heart

Trying to reach it out

And it's my whole heart

Burned but not buried this time

oh this part verrrrry specifically is what made everything click right in my mind for this au- especially when thinking about his friendship with etoiles. when I hear this section, I got reminded of the 'repairs' the federation forces onto phil with every trip, how everytime they continue and continue to crack him more and more and shatter him into pieces but he keeps getting. back. up. no matter what they do to him, at the end it's etoiles who's there to keep reminding him that he is still his own person, at his core he is whole and the federation can't take away who he is for long. everytime the federation fucks him up and tries to make it seem as if nothing had happened with the memory wipes of said experiments, this time,, phil has people alongside him to help him remember who he is. the repetition of 'and it's my whole heart' is so codebreakers in this au with it being phil repeating the mantras etoiles has instilled in his mind that he's still his own person and he is still good despite all the damage the federation not only inflicts on him but attends to inflict onto others. it's very good that many of the island members he surrounds himself with are powerful enough to make sure he isn't hurting others physically. mentally though, seeing a good friend lose himself and have to constantly remind himself of who he is can be taxing on the mind.

Chained and shackled, oh

All that gravel, oh

It's a pity, oh

Never to return

But I never learn

It's a pity, oh

(x2)

the repeating outro reminds me very specifically of the conditioning training the federation instilled in phils head. acknowledging the metaphorical weights they placed upon him to keep him shackled to them and the island- not only when referring to him unconsciously returning to them in times of enhanced stress and post-acts of rule breaking, but in the clips of his wings that leave him physically immobile when in the world of the skies that he so desperately wants to go back too

AAAAAAAAAAA so many florence songs r him rn it literally inspired me to make a q!phil playlist bc of it and the brain is braininggggggg. also wow with having like 3 song asks shoved in here im really living up to the disc anon name LMAOOOOOO - 💿

Can I just say I am absolutely in love with how you connect lyrics to things and explain them and word everything??? Because HELLO????

ADDING THIS TO THE PLAYLIST POST AS SOON AS I GET DONE WRITING THIS RESPONSE

Honestly the overall song gives me kind of.. angry vibes?? As in connecting it to the code au, it feels like a song that connects to Phils anger towards the Federation that‘s fueled by his close friends, but especially so by Etoiles who has been there for him as much as possible. Repeatingly helping him back up no matter how many times he‘s forced back down to kneel, to submit.

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD WAAAH

#I apologise for my comments not being that long OQJSJA #but this song hits hard and it‘s so good #deffo agree that it reflects Phil in the code au so heavily #i think it‘s especially so with the lyrics ‘I‘m not beaten by this yet - you can‘t tell me to regret - been in the dark since the day we met #- Fire Help me to forget‘#ITS SO GOOD #also ik I already stated it in another post BUT please feel free to come ramble here whenever KAJSJ #it’s very silly in the most positive way #Even when I’m sick I love reading what others are rambling about #qsmp #code philza <3 #💿 anon #winged.rambles

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yourbleedingh3art · 1 year

Text

Some updates.

I’m not pregnant … cuz I’m bleeding out of my VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!! Pairs of shorts/pants stained so far from this excursion: 2

Days of sobriety if I pretend I didn’t take three hits off that boys blunt: 24

Days of sobriety since I hit that blunt: 5

I still haven’t bought any weed for myself, and I didn’t text my ex even though it’s been a torturous carrot in front of my face, but Poems I’ve written about him instead: 2

My piece is getting workshopped today and it’s rainy and I sweat in my sleep and I keep having dreams about my body getting torn apart or me dying in a car crash and last nights dream was just me constantly getting overstimulated and interrupted and not having a moment to myself to breathe [Contributing heavily to Sleep-Sweat]

My big exam is today! Not sure how it will go. But happy it will be out of the horizon. Went to a study group last night and tried to watch a review video. Times I’ve fallen asleep while I tried to finish this review video: 3.

Emails I need to send: 3

My therapist didn’t do something she told me she would do and then I sent her an email about it and I still haven’t heard back. And that’s sad and if I dwell on it I think I will get upset. I’ve just been so sick of being upset lately and so maybe I have been ignoring every possible thing that is painful by pretending it is not painful and maybe this is why it escapes into my dreams which I used to not even really have because of how much weed I smoked and the funny thing is that’s such a major change in my life and I don’t really feel different at all . My parents say I’m different but oh please. I’m skeptical. Skeptics annoy me. I’m becoming annoying!!!! Just kidding. ☂️☔️

Writing in my diary has slowed down because I don’t want to take up the pages saying nothing and it’s hard to figure out what feels important to say. It’s weird how progress seems to change nothing. I’ve made these changes to be “better” which is loaded. I’m trying to exist better? But does that make me feel better? My prescription. For myself: Be more aware of the present moment and how you actually feel in the present moment

Writing and reading 📖 Has been a Best friend again

Music: Not hitting as hard. Obviously i always love music but

Food: yum. Been eating a lot of it. Getting to the point where im scared I’m gonna run out soon and why does grocery shppping sound so terrible… It’s the money. Im Brokey broke. Hmm. So the next question is will I get. A job. However. I hate that question. Ok. I will send some of the emails I have to send now ….

Oh and this is tonight! I think I will go? If I feel like being out at night in the dark . Don’t come at me w commitment y’all…. Weird rn. Therapy on Friday tho

#blog post

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higheconomist · 2 years

Text

Having a bad habit isn’t as bad as it sounds. For example, your bad habit will prevent you from allowing people to have control over your emotions because it just completely numbs them. The economist is really not ready for feels but yeah the economy is slow rn, honestly it feels like there’s no point in talking about it right now.

I’m not saying I gave up hope, but the way it seems the government doesn’t even have a clue as to what to do. They’re trying to calm the inflation by increasing interest rates. Okay, that’s what they are suppose to do in case of a high inflation in the economy, 8.3% is definitely considered high. We need to honestly prepare ourselves to suffer for the next 2-3 years because the only way out of this trough stage is to allow the bank of canada to increase the interest rates for 2-3 years at least because there’s way too much money circulating in the economy after what the government gave out during covid. Not even just that, the relief programs and the business ones too, that also decreased the governments budget by so much, government is already in debt and increasing the debt is NEVER ideal for the economy. IT PREVENTS GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT! Why is that bad? Because that prevents the economy from growing, when the government is able to invest in the economy and provide infrastructure or something or value to the people, it changes a lot of factors if you think about it. We need government investment, it’s great for businesses, for the people and for the growth. But yeah, the issue is the government can’t just print money, we need to have a balance of purchasing power in the economy. What I mean is that, the consumer basket price should be a good enough amount to know that consumers are able to afford yearly essential goods and also have money to save up. A good balance is so essential and the way the economy is going right now, the consumer basket price is way tooo high. The cost of living is increasing, the economy just feels like a shit show right now. And that’s why I rather stay high because it’s highkey stressful to think about when the economy will ACTUALLY recover.

The market is CRASSSHING, holy shit it’s a great time to be alive to invest though. Crypto has its purpose if you do research, and there’s also great stocks that do as well. It’s not a gamble it’s an investment. Just like buying a house, you gotta think about it for a bit but essentially know that your investing because you believe in it and it’s an asset to you. Only a gamble if you just bandwagon from what people tell you. Fyi, never EVER trust anyone about investing online, no YouTuber is going to sit there and predict the trend of the market. 🥴🤧 the trend of the market is influenced by YouTubers actually. The market does better the more that people invest. Essentially there’s a whole undermining scheme. But always watch the trends of the economy, not the trends of YouTubers for the sake of your funds.

But it’s all a cycle, with order and balance on every aspect that’s necessary. There’s actually a basic economic model to prove this:

The economy must be moving as close to the growth trend as much as possible. That’s what is ideal for the economy. Right now, we are at the contraction stage in the economy aka recovery but it’s going to be some SERIOUS recovery for sure 🥲. Anyways, stay high 😌

OKAY IM ACTUALLY REALLY UPSET BECAUSE THE ECONOMY WAS GROWING GREAT BEFORE COVID PAUSED THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. Nothing stops Mother Nature for real 😫

How much digging do ants got to do if their ant colony got destroyed?!

LIKE JUST THINK ABOUT THE RIOT IN THE USA AND THE DAMAGE IT CAUSED THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT. OUR CURRENCY AND ITS VALUE IF HIGHLY INFLUENCED BY THE USA MARKET. IF FUCKED SHIT HAPPENS IN THEIR ECONOMY IT EFFECTS OUR IMPORTS AND EXPORTS AND IT FUCKS UP OUR ECONOMY.

Fuck. Imma roll another one….

May the odds be in our favour.

#hungergameeconomy

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slutabedvents · 3 years

Text

#mich vents #tw: eating disorders #the thing that sucks is like rn i can totally focus on food and eating healthy and staying within a reasonable calorie range #but it's bc im not working right now and i feel like it takes all my energy focused on food to get to a point that i'm losing weight #or even just maintaining #like rn it's not hard bc im not working so i have time for it but like #i have to be so smart and so strategic bc of the unhealthy habits ive picked up over the years #like. i dont know how people maintain their weight on intuitive eating #i have to be so diligent and so intentional with my eating throughout the day #tracking every calorie and being strategic about if i eat xyz at breakfast i have to do this and that for the rest of the day #maybe over time i build up the habits of eating like i am rn and it just becomes second nature #but idk i do this every time where i think im being normal about food just tracking my calories #and suddenly im down to like. a rice cake for breakfast and cucumbers for dinner bc everything else scares me #and then i binge and fall off the wagon and the cycle repeats itself until im [redacted] amount of pounds again #and rn im the heaviest ive ever been so it's taking so much longer just to get to like. areasonable weight let alone any of my goal weights #sometimes it really just drives me crazy like #i've wanted nothing more than to be skinny my entire life since i was 11 years old #and somehow my stupid fucking brain can't just be normal about food and make it happen #im trying rn and it's so slow and this time it seems possible #but that's how it seems every time until i eat one meal out with friends and gain all my weight back and lose all motivation and binge and #etc.#anyway uh #sorry for like. being a fat fucking failure who can't be normal about food

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suspiciouslybluemilktea · 2 years

Note

im having suit brainrot rn

how would suit react if a believer would flirt with mc? would he get jealous?

That’s actually a really interesting question considering the fact that Mc isn’t allowed outside their room during the duration in which Suit Saeran is around. This probably means the believer would have to come to their “cage” in order to interact with Mc in any way. It would certainly spell trouble considering Suit has his camera pointed directly on his toy, and we can see in events in the game that he’s quite possessive in reality.

It’s not fair that Saeran doesn’t get to be the one who cleanses his little doll when you belong solely to him. It’s not right that anyone else should have permission to watch you slowly break down as your inevitable end approaches, like a slow march towards an open coffin. He locks the camera footage on his end heavily with passcodes as he boils with anger over his savior’s denial of his presence at your final show. He tells himself he wants to be the one to close the curtains on your foolish acts of trickery after the grand finale, because you’re his alone to destroy after the damage you caused to his place of sanctuary.

Saeran does understand that there is some deep desire within him to ensure you’re entirely his, but as his mind is clouded with fear, mistrust and Rika’s ideologies, it’s never acted upon properly. A lot of his internal reasoning comes across as vengeful, the Savior turning you into a target in which he should focus his rays of hate onto. You must be put in your place for “hurting Ray”, and also kept at such a distance that you can’t harm his heart too.

I haven’t really got a good clue as to why a believer would be so gusty as to attempt to tamper with Saeran’s current object of obsession, but let’s say someone is dumb enough to try. In his constant glances, Saeran in his work room is quick to notice someone is chatting you up for far too long, and you seem sort of uncomfortable. There’s a smile on your face that’s no where near genuine or as gentle as what you gave to Ray, and you’re stiff as a board. He’d immediately huff his way over there to intervene.

It wouldn’t be a pretty scene. He isn’t the type to steal a kiss from your lips just to gently get the creep to leave…no, it would be a loud and possibly violent event.

His reaction highly depends on the day and time that this would occur, but the gist of it would consist of cleansing ceremony threats as he enforces his power and status over the flirty believer.

If it occurs closer to his arrival, he might handle the situation by presenting himself as a ticking time bomb that could be set off at any second. Violent yet smooth as he pours out threats, feeling more like he has nothing to fear as he sends them straight down to the dungeons.

If it happens around the time when he’s throwing his hissy fits over not being permitted to see you, the bomb would explode as soon as he’s got one foot in the door. At this point, he is afraid of losing you wether he likes that fact or not. Saeran is going to blow up because how dare another individual try and take you from him as if they stood a chance in hell.

Like with you, he might corner them up against the wall, but more menacingly as he bares his pearly white fangs. Saeran would basically serve them a death sentence for trying to touch what is his. His shrill screams might even call over a crowd.

Maybe he should have placed that bite mark in a place more visible to everyone.

#saeran x reader #saeran choi #saeran x mc #suit saeran

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junityy · 3 years

Text

dates with enhypen

# PAIRING. ot7 x gn!reader

# SYNOPSIS. basically what kind of dates they would take you on.

# GENRE. fluff

# WC. 683

# WARNINGS. mentions of food

# NOTE. might be a bit messy but since im not in the place to write a fic rn i wrote some hcs,, i hope you enjoy !! <3

⋆｡°✩ HEESEUNG

probably just staying in, watching something and eating

you either order food OR even better

heeseung makes you ramen <33

THE VIBES HERE UGHHH i want

it would be so chill. like SO chill but still fun

you might be invested in whatever you're watching but after some time you just talk

about literally ANYTHING

may go from small things to having a whole existential crisis,, like you talk about the most random things bc its so comfortable with him

and maybe cuddle too :((

plus you'd probably continue watching whatever you started after missing like half of it but hey

that's okay :,,,) for both of you

rest of the members are under the cut !!

⋆｡°✩ JAY

late night dates

oh my god where do i START

late night drives walks talks and stargazing just all of it

it'd be at the most random times too

i mean i know thats kinda normal but RANDOM random

sometimes you have to be careful to not be too loud whenever you're walking by some houses or whatever tbh

could stay the whole night not even gonna lie to you

you'd probably find a random place, maybe sorta abandoned and it'd be your own place to go to

a little hill or a rooftop from which you'll have a good view overall

⋆｡°✩ JAKE

library dates

like study dates ykk

spoiler: jake isn't studying tho. not even close to it

mans is staring at you the whole time while you are actually trying to study

whenever you catch him staring he acts like h really is going to learn stuff for school now

spoiler #2: that energy lasts for 20 seconds maximum

hes back to being distracted by you <33

will eventually try to REALLY study when you somewhat scold him but he gives up

literally cannot stop thinking about you when you're right next to him hes so <///3

⋆｡°✩ SUNGHOON

ice skating dates

we all know it.

he would absolutely make fun of you if you can't ice skate tbh

man he would have so much fun only watching you already </3

but he'd also try to teach you how to ice skate

would 100% say things like "this is BORING" in the most dramatic way when he's teaching you

bc you're obviously going slow yk

also you will never not see him flexing with his skills

however if you seem like you can't get the hang of it he'd act dramatic i just know

⋆｡°✩ SUNOO

picnic dates

i can absolutely 101% see this

the vibes :(( ugh im SOFT

it's simple but regardless, it'd be a lot of fun

just overall very soft vibes if that makes sense

you'd talk about the most random things and basically laugh about everything

you're probably the happiest when you're eating and with sunoo together??? hell yeah

also if there are some bees every now and then sunoo would probably crack up if you'd jump

maybe its only a personal experience okay idk

also i feel like sunoo would put a lot of effort into it to make it look as pretty as possible

if that makes sense yk

⋆｡°✩ JUNGWON

after watching his vlog i feel like he'd simply take you to the park

and do something there yk??

might do a little picnic or something similar

just sit down somewhere and watch a movie

or simply talk overall

and oh my god yes you'd absolutely watch the sunset together

take a few walks too

a overall very chill date

although you may be not doing THAT much it's a lot of fun

and the both of you absolutely love it

⋆｡°✩ NIKI

arcade dates

a 100% i do not take any criticism

would battle you every two minutes idc

he would have the time of his life let's be real for a sec

would refuse to SHUT UP for even a second

probably doesn't care about how loud he is either

i can lowkey see him being sad when the arcade would close bc he could stay there all night

his goal is obviously to beat you and i kid you not

this boy would do ANYTHING just to get first place if we're honest

TAGLIST @koishua @igyus @hoonluvs @iuwon @eternallyhyucks @sungsunnie @sooblvr @yourlocalhotgf @tyunni @yjwfav

#kmysticsnet #enhypennetwork #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons #heeseung fluff #jay fluff #jake fluff #sunghoon fluff #sunoo fluff #jungwon fluff #niki fluff #enha x reader #enha fluff

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amethystpath-writes · 3 years

Text

Monsters and Legends

Don’t worry, it’s fluff :)

(NOT A PR0MPT)

Villain and hero need to stop a bigger villain by somehow acting as a couple, only for them to share a single room and a single bed (im grinning so hard rn) I giggled when I read this request:

******

The phone rang once, twice, three times.

“Why are you calling me?” Hero’s voice was a groan, one annoyed and filled with malice- or was it anxiousness?

Villain understood he was probably the last person Hero would want to hear from. Why would the bad guy of the city be calling her anyways, and how’d he find her number? Those were questions which Hero could ask later. For now- “I need your help,” Villain pleaded right away.

“You need my help?” Hero laughed brittlely on the other end of the line. That’s how Villain heard it, at least. “What makes you think I would ever help y-”

“Supervillain.”

The line went silent as the horror of such a simple name settled in. It wouldn’t matter to Hero how Supervillain’s name still existed- why it was still being muttered, unforgotten. All that meant was that Supervillain was still prevalent, which further meant something needed to be done.

“Is he still alive?”

Well, I suppose that’s a question I can answer for now. “Yes, that’s why I need you. I can’t vanquish him on my own, Hero.”

Yeah? What was Hero supposed to do about it? She wasn’t capable of fighting Supervillain, even if she fought him alongside Villain. The two of them together were still no match for such a beast, a mistake made by nature. Supervillain wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for his ill intentions.

“We beat him before, Hero,” Villain said after another long silence. “We can do it again.”

Hero said, “If we beat him before, then why is he back?” This wasn’t the first time Hero felt hopeless. Even before Supervillain, she had days where she was convinced Villain was unbeatable. She got past that part of her depression, obviously, but it didn’t mean that anxiety didn’t exist elsewhere- such as when it came to Supervillain. “Villain, I quit this business after the first round. I can’t…I can’t do it again.”

“I know.” Villain nodded, even knowing Hero wouldn’t see it on the phone pressed against her ear. “I know, and I get it.”

“If you did, you wouldn’t have called.”

Villain sighed. Maybe she was right, but… “You’re the only one I know who can pull this off.”

“Pull what off, Villain? What plan have you made up that you think might actually be enough? We killed Supervillain. We killed him, and yet you’re telling me that he’s alive? We can’t beat him.”

How could Villain say this? How did he portray this compliment without it sounding like an insult? “Where you lack in strength, you lead in intelligence. You- you’re able to think things out in a moment, whereas it takes me ages. You are so much more capable than you think you are and, believe it or not, I have always admired you.”

Right. Hero wasn’t so certain Villain was telling the truth. Sure, she was smart, and she could even admit that, but…intelligence couldn’t defeat an undead man. Even if it did, what made Villain say something kind to her? He would never spare a compliment to someone as poor as Hero; he wouldn’t spare an insult either. And anyways, who would admire an anxious mess? Not a villain, not by any means, right?

“Why do you need me? What has made you turn to a last resort?” Last resort, meaning asking anyone for help when Villain preferred to work alone.

Villain’s palms were sweating, his phone nearly sliding out of his hand the longer he remained on the line. “He wants my allegiance. Rejecting him would be a death sentence, and you know it. I don’t want to die. Not now. Not just yet. At the same time, I am not going to work for or with this guy.”

Hero was still failing to understand. “How do I fit into this,” she rephrased, “beyond you needing my intelligence?”

“Supervillain never knew you. He doesn’t know your face, your name, your priorities.”

“And?”

“And I told him I have a wife who insists on working with me.”

No. No, no, no. No. But she didn’t say this. “So, you are asking me to jeopardize my own life by appearing at your side as a fake wife who doesn’t know how to properly defend herself.”

“I could teach you, Hero. I’m trained. Strength means nothing if your opponent has technique. I can teach you,” Villain repeated, hands heating impossibly more. “Do this for me and I’ll- I’ll…”

Precisely. “There is nothing you can offer me, Villain.”

“If you don’t do this,” Villain returned, gripping his phone with white knuckles, and curled toes which dug into his carpeted floor, “everyone else will suffer for it. Yourself, included. I don’t know about you, but I think you’ve suffered enough.”

You don’t mean that, Hero wanted to say. You don’t mean anything nice that you’re saying. You’re just desperate. You know that I’ll do anything if it means someone will tell me they’re proud of me at the end of the day. She thought this of everyone- even herself, only she knew someone else was more likely to say they were proud of her than herself.

How did anyone ever call her a hero when she couldn’t even save her own mind from destroying itself?

Easy.

She was a villain to herself, and a hero to others.

“How do I know he’s alive? Am I supposed to take your word for it?”

Villain almost said yes, but he knew Hero would require proof. She didn’t trust herself, let alone anyone else in the world. “There is no evidence of him, but if you’d like to handcuff me every moment we are alone, then I suppose I will hand that to you as your security.”

Hero’s eyes widened. She didn’t have handcuffs; she was no officer, but for Villain to say that, and with such a serious tone…he wouldn’t say something so disadvantageous to him if he didn’t mean it- if it weren’t necessary to gain Hero’s assistance.

“What will it mean,” Hero asked, “to be your wife?”

***

“Supervillain paid for our room.”

Our room? Hero blinked hard before glancing around the hotel lobby. Well, it was beautiful, but Hero hardly had the brain capacity to think about that. “You said our room,” she commented, lips thin and an eyebrow quirked.

“We’re husband and wife.”

“We’re pretending to be husband and wife,” Hero said in a hush-hush tone, hand squeezing Villain’s for umph.

Even as she said it quietly, Villain scolded her lightly, “Lower your voice if you’re going to say things like that.” Villain began his trek to the elevator, arm extending behind him as Hero followed, hand still in his. As much as she hated this act, she sure did like to hold his hand, it seemed. Maybe it was her anxiety which told her any hand was a good hand, even if it were stained in life after life of blood and tears.

“I don’t want to share a room with you,” Hero whispered, so low that Villain wouldn’t have heard her fully had he not turned his ear towards her as they walked down the hall of the seventh floor. “How will I know you won’t take advantage of me?”

Right. No handcuffs. “You think I’d try to kill you after I called you and begged for your help?”

“It could be a trap,” Hero said, tugging her hand out of Villain’s, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“Maybe. But imagine if it isn’t a trap. Imagine you back out now, and the world goes extinct. What regrets would you have then? Surely, they wouldn’t be as bad as committing yourself to a trap, causing only yourself harm instead of billions.”

His tone wasn’t condescending, but it held such magnificence that Hero couldn’t help but cast her eyes downward and nod in silent guilt. Guilt because why couldn’t she have thought of such a scenario on her own? Was she selfish for being so afraid of Villain?

“You’re right.” Hero nodded. “You’re right and I’m sorry.”

Villain took her hand in his own again, softly, with fragile care. “You don’t need to apologize. Your nerves aren’t without reason. I’ll admit I’m not the most trustworthy man. I get it. Remember you are not jeopardizing yourself for me. You’re doing it for the world.”

***

The bed was comfortable- even with Villain laying by Hero’s side. Actually, Villain being by her side might have been what made it so comfortable. The blanket which the hotel provided was too warm, but the body heat which Villain radiated was just comfortable enough that Hero struggled to keep her distrusting eyes open.

“I don’t believe this,” Hero whispered in the dark of the room, expecting Villain to be fast asleep. Apparently, he slept as little as she did.

Villain rolled flat against the mattress before turning on his other side to face Hero, earning a light gasp of surprise from her. “About Supervillain?” he asked- suggesting that Supervillain was still alive.

After regaining a state of sanity, Hero mumbled that, yes, Supervillain being alive seemed unreal, but that wasn’t what she meant. She meant that she was laying next to a man who she both despised and was deathly frightened of, and yet she was comfortable with it- comfortable with his heat. It shouldn’t have meant much; it was only science at play, but it still irked her. Of course, Hero didn’t say any of this.

“It isn’t so bad sharing a bed, is it?” Villain yawned and did a little stretch with his arms, groaning as the skin and muscles of his torso stretched. “You have your side. I have mine.”

“Not so bad,” she agreed.

There was still a danger to it, Hero acknowledged. She was still side-by-side with a villain, still frightened by the thought of Villain silently reaching over the moment he heard Hero’s breathing slowing, pushing a knife against her sleeping body, and shiv her through without a thought. It was possible, and it was likely, wasn’t it?

“Have you thought about what you’ll do tomorrow?” Villain asked.

“Me?” Hero swallowed. “I…no, I haven’t thought about it.”

“That’s unlike you.”

Hero turned her head over her shoulder, finding Villain’s moonlight glinting eyes. “Asking someone for help is unlike you. What made you do it?”

“I couldn’t do it alone. I told you-”

“That’s not the truth. Well, it is, but it’s not the full truth.” Hero paused. “When have you ever admitted that you aren’t enough to accomplish a goal? You sought me out for my intelligence, but what else? You don’t ask for help, Villain. It’s not who you are.”

Silence followed, giving hero enough time to gather the courage it took to roll over, to face Villain with her whole body like he did with her before yawning.

“I’m scared,” Villain said, matter-of-factly. “I’m scared that when it is all over, then history will forget me for all the terrible things I’ve done.”

Confused, Hero asked, “Wasn’t the reason you chose the dark side because your crimes would be so extravagantly memorable?” This conversation wasn’t aiding Hero’s underlying fear of lying in bed with Villain. Still, she wanted answers.

“I realized I was wrong. If I don’t do something good for once, I’ll be remembered as a monster, and you see, I want to be remembered as a legend.” Villain drew in a deep breath, turning his head slightly away from Hero before exhaling. “There’s a difference between monsters and legends, I realized. Honour is legendary; Fear is monstrous. Having said that, there’s no fear in honour, so what’s the point in all those criminal activities except mindlessness and naivety? It’s not as fun or rewarding as I thought it’d be.”

“You stay awake and think at night like I do, don’t you?”

Villain nodded. Hero nodded.

Hero’s hand slid across the sheets until her fingertips touched Villain’s. Holding his hand was comforting when she considered they would be meeting Supervillain tomorrow- that Villain’s face would be the only familiar one, the only one she could trust even though she hardly even trusted it at all.

Hearing what Villain said now, in the deepest stage of the night…maybe he was worth trusting.

Maybe there was a good reason she was holding his hand.

And maybe there was a good reason she enjoyed the warmth that rolled off her body.

Maybe there was a reason beyond anxiousness and fear that made Hero’s heart beat a little faster than usual.

“Do you think we could both be legends?” Hero asked, to which Villain responded, with a tight squeeze of Hero’s hand:

“I do.”

It wasn’t the only time he would utter those words. Next time, Hero would be wearing a white gown, and Villain, a tux.

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caramelcal · 3 years

Text

His Favorite Girl

a/n: HELLO. (sounding like the guy in the cinema cba lol) anyways I have returned for a brief period of time to share this update with you guys. It’s based off of this request here: “ Do you think you could write a Luke x gang again where maybe he has to leave for work during sex and the reader touches herself out of frustration and he comes back and finds her ?”

STOP BECAUSE THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT WHAT THE REQUESTER WANTED BUT ILL WRITE SOMETHING AGAIN BUT LIKE JUST TH REQUEST IF THATS WHAT YOU GUYS WANT SDGHGDFGBH but this is kinda a part 2 to the Bambi/His Favorite Secret series thingy cause a few people wanted that! thank you guys so much for all the love mwah

i should literally be studying rn but im not so <3 im very sorry for this abomination lol

sorry for the long a/n guys! :( enjoy x

word count: 3.4k

warnings: smutty stuff (fucking, fingering, anal and all that...ive never written this before so PLS PLS PLS give me feedback omg) uh choking, doesn’t have a daddy kink in this but sir is mentioned. talks of being tied up and being tied up? talks about overstim... he calls her little girl at one point...

“Luke! Stop moving!” She lightly slapped her boyfriend’s hand, to which he groaned in return. Her tongue stuck out slightly from between her lips in concentration, eyebrows furrowing as she returned to the task she had firmly put her mind to. That was, until the blond giant moved again, “Luke!”

“Bambi,” Luke echoed lightly, using his nickname for the smaller girl in front of him who looked up at him with an unimpressed facial expression.

“You’re gonna ruin it,” She mumbled lightly, pointing back down at her artwork which Luke only then first looked at. It was safe to say, although he shouldn’t have been, he was thoroughly shocked.

His nails, which his girl had somehow managed to convince him into painting weren’t black, or blue. No, they were bright, blasting, hot pink. He groaned lightly, wondering just how exactly she had managed to rope him into this and just how he was going to hide his nails from the rest of the gang later on tonight when he -they- met up with them tonight.

She was a bundle of both nerves and excitement, finally getting to meet Luke’s closest friends. It had been about a week since their argument, and now she was meeting his friends. It seemed like everything was moving in the right direction, thankfully. She couldn’t wait to be honest, very much looking forward to being able to hear more about Luke from his friends, and just meeting them in general.

They seemed fun.

Well, as fun as gang members could be. She probably should have been more cautious surrounding them, but Luke got her guard down so quickly and she was yet to regret that. How scary could they possibly be considering the man in front of her, soft blond curls held back by her bunny bath headband, nails painted hot pink, was supposed to be the scariest man in the whole city.

“Cal’s gonna rip the piss outta me for this, Bambi,” He complained softly, with no plans to take the polish off of his nails as he looked at his girlfriend, between his legs, small hand wrapped around the bottle of nail polish with her other hand laying against his knee.

She couldn’t help the small upturn of her lips as she blew softly against the nail polish on his fingernails, not patient enough to let it airdry despite it being a fast-drying polish. She shrugged lightly, head flopping to the side adorably as Luke stared down at her, resisting the urge to run his hands through her hair; another issue he had with the wet paint on his fingernails.

“I think it looks great, we’re matching,” She then flaunted the bright pink color that coated her own nails, and Luke’s lips twitched into a grin, careful not to ‘aww’ at the cute words that came out of the smaller girl’s mouth.

He hummed lightly, leaning back against the couch but his baby blues never leaving her face, “They look a lot better on you than they do me, Bambi.”

“I think they’re cute,” The girl climbed onto his lap, making Luke take a deep intake of breath as she sits barely an inch away from a rather sensitive area of his. She, however, seemed to pay no attention to the risen area of his jeans as she leaned against his chest, face hidden in the crook of his neck, soft breaths from her mouth fanning against his neck.

He twisted to give her a small kiss on the forehead, to which she responds by kissing his neck softly, lips staying against his neck as her hand traveled up his stomach up to his neck, holding him close as she began to kiss the base of his neck more.

“Lu,” She whispered softly, “How much time have we got?”

“Like an hour, baby. Why?”

However, the girl never replied verbally, and instead repositioned herself carefully, Luke’s neck void from her warmth before her hand started to travel down, painfully slow, until it landed right above the tent in his jeans. His eyes traveled up to meet hers, eyebrow raised as she dropped her hand down barely, lips struggling to pull the smirk away.

He lifted his hands to her back, going to reposition her before she shook her head, “Your nail polish, Lu. Hands down.”

His hands didn’t move, frozen in place around her clothed waist. His nails were long since dried, she knew that, but she liked this. She liked the intake of breath he took when her hand ghosted over the hardened cock in his jeans, the way he couldn’t lift his hands; scared to smudge the pink on his nails.

He was restricted. Oh, how the tables had turned.

Her hand gently palmed against his hardened, clothed cock, causing a grumble to emit from his throat. It was a deep rumbling sound, -something that the girl had heard numerous times but would never get used to.

To her, everything about Luke was perfect, even his moans.

“Bambi, you know the rules about teasing-”

Her lips attached to his, cutting him off rather efficiently, pressing softly as she continued to palm him through his jeans, gently rocking on his thigh. He moaned into their kiss, her tongue, as a reflex, finding its way into his mouth. Their tongues pressed against one another, lips still pressed together as her spare hand crawled up to the back of his neck, playing with his soft curls.

Her palm pressed into his fully hardened cock now, his tongue swiping over her lips before tugging on it, pulling apart, breathless. His hands found a place on her waist, guiding her softly but firmly, taking back the control he craved.

Looking her straight in the eyes, one of Luke’s hands went around her neck, thumb pulling her lower lip down as he unbuckled his belt with one hand, taking his cock out of its confined clothing and bringing her hand down to hold onto it. It wasn’t the first time that she had given him a handjob, and it wouldn’t be the last, but she still couldn’t help but be nervous.

Despite not being a virgin when she met Luke, she still lacked a lot of experience that Luke definitely had. She knew that he would never judge her, but that never stopped the nerves that festered.

“All shy all of a sudden, Bambi?” He mocked, hand around her neck tightening as he bit down on her ear lobe, gently tugging at it before letting out a breath, “All big and brave, teasing Sir, aren’t you? If you’re going to start it, then you’re going to finish it. On your knees. Now.”

Releasing a shaky breath, the girl clambered out of Luke’s lap dropping to the floor, in a similar position to the one she had been in minutes before, only in a more sexual manner. Her lips met the tip of his cock, tongue lightly swiping across the base.

His hand grabbed firmly onto the hair on the back of her head, holding her steady as she got used to the feeling of his cock in her mouth before thrusting against her. She gagged as it hit the back of her throat, sending vibrations up him, releasing a deep moan from his throat.

“Suck, little girl,” Luke commanded deeply, leaving no room for argument as the smaller girl abided to his command, tongue swiping over him as she reached up to cover the last part of his cock with her hand.

Yet, she didn’t get much further when a ringing sounded through the room, Luke groaning but ultimately pulling away from the girl who stayed on the floor, watching Luke as he grabbed his phone.

“What?” He gritted his teeth lightly, trying to keep his frustration at bay after being interrupted.

He sighed softly, not looking at the small girl with furrowed eyebrows still on the floor as he pulled his jeans back up, clambering to get shoes on and getting ready to leave, hanging the phone up.

“Luke what’s going on?”

“Gang shit, Bambi. I gotta get going, be ready for six, we’re meeting Cal, Ash, and Mike later, remember?” He offered her no more words, but she can tell he isn’t angry at her, just due to their interruption.

However, she can’t help but be frustrated at the interruption, waiting until after Luke leaves to huff and puff about it before starting to get ready.

. . .

“Luke has this old penguin fan account on Instagram from like seven years ago. There’s this one picture on there with him with a penguin hat-”

“Cal, stop,” Luke interrupted Cal swiftly, an arm going around his smaller girlfriend’s waist who looked far too amused by the embarrassing things about Luke that Cal was telling.

“No, no, Calum please keep going. Please,” The girl begged, feeling very comfortable around the Maori boy. They were pleasant, to her at least, and so far they had made her feel very comfortable and very much at home. It was hard to believe that the people joking with her where infamous mobsters, ones that were feared all across the city, and state.

They had met in Ashton’s house, who she had already met before, at six o’clock. It turns out gang members like to be punctual, or maybe it was only these ones.

Luke was in a bit of a hurry once he arrived back home, with no time to finish what he and his girl had started before he had to leave in a hurry, leaving her oh so frustrated. This was only magnified when she saw him afterward, ready to head to Ash’s in that pale pink silk button-up that only seemed like it would suit him; like it was made specifically for him.

Maybe it was.

Luke was never shy of customized clothing, cars, or anything he wanted honestly. If you have the money, why not? Was always his answer when she asked why he seemed to wear all of these expensive items. If it wasn’t custom-made, it was a high-quality designer that he wore, she rarely ever found him in anything that didn’t smell of cash and high-class, -far too expensive but albeit intoxicating- cologne.

This money of Luke’s also happened to extend to her also. He was never shy of picking her up a few things, letting her have his card for shopping and now, he started going out shopping with her too. He didn’t look like the type that would go out with his ‘girlfriend’ or anyone, but in the case of her, he followed her around like a lost puppy; willing to hold her bags, let her drain his bank account. Not that she did, anyway. She was still mindful, even if Luke had more money than he knew what to do with.

“Nah, can’t. Don’t want Luke to kill me for embarrassing me in front of his precious little girlfriend,” Calum teased lightly, shaking his head as his eyes darted to meet Luke’s baby blues. Truthfully, Luke could pretend to be annoyed at Cal and the rest for exposing his old penguin Instagram account but he was just glad to see them getting along with the girl that owned his heart.

She was the first girlfriend that his best friends seemed to approve of. He didn’t normally bring his girlfriends to meet them, but the ones he did, the boys he called his best friends didn’t usually like them. For the first time, Luke could actually see a future with the girl in front of him, beamingly smiling as Cal and Michael joke about with her and laughing at their attempts of humor.

God, he loved her.

“So, do you think they like me?” She asked the moment they got home, the door shut behind them. Luke turned around, staring at the wide-eyed girl with a small smile on his lips.

Did she seriously not realize how much they liked her? Especially with how much joking that they had done with her, he was certain that she would have realized but then again, she wasn’t the most self-assured person when it comes to new people. He nodded his head, “Yeah, Bambi. They really liked you.”

Luke would never get over the way her eyes sparkled, his smile only growing. She looked amazing in that red silky dress that he had bought her, and he looked just as good in the coral colored button-up he was wearing.

Their lips met softly, Luke bending down slightly to meet her lips as the girl went up on her tiptoes, bare feet on the top of Luke’s shoes. He didn’t mind, in fact, he barely even realized as he swiped his tongue across her bottom lip for access which she quickly gave him. Her hands wrapped around his neck, one entangling in his blond curls, while his went around her waist and one under her ass, lifting her up.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, lips never breaking away from his as she moaned into the kiss. She pushed herself closer to him as the kiss heated up, eyes closed as Luke tried his best to navigate the way to their bedroom. Thankfully, even with his eyes partially closed and completely distracted by the soft lips on his, he managed to get there, fumbling with the doorknob before kicking the door open.

Luke pulled away quickly to get a breath, now at the edge of the bed as his mouth went to the side of her face, pressing kisses along her neck before whispering in a sinfully sultry voice, “Let’s finish what we started earlier, huh?”

With that, she was placed down on the bed, staring at Luke with a glaze in her eyes, lust, lips slightly swollen as he pushed her dress up, nudging her underwear to the side. His fingers ghosted over her pussy, making her take a ragged intake of breath. He was on top of her, watching her as she awaited every movement of his fingers, completely helpless under his touch.

“So wet for me, baby,” He murmured, pressing a few chaste kisses against the base of her neck as he rubbed her slit. She didn’t reply just yet, whining lightly when he slowed down his movements, coming to a stop, “Tell me what you want baby.”

“You, Lu. I want you, sir,” Her words flooded out of her mouth quickly, the aching between her legs becoming too much. If Luke didn’t do something about it soon then she would have to. She stared up at his smirking face above her. His fingers pulled away from her, making her whine as he reached for his belt, skillfully unbuckling it and letting his cock spring free from its confines.

He looked up at her as he repositioned himself, her squirming with need beneath him before he lined his tip at her entrance, baby blues meeting her eyes, “You sure?”

She nodded vigorously in return, but Luke didn’t move, commanding lightly, “Words, baby.”

“Please Luke, I’m sure. Please fuck me.” He swatted her thigh at the sound of the swear falling from her lips but obliged nonetheless, plunging deep into her letting out a moan, her strangled moan following behind.

He plunged in once again, hitting a spot that made her whimper and moan at the same time, hands reaching around to his back, clawing on the now exposed skin. Luke’s hips are flushed against hers as he goes deep inside of her once again, both moaning.

“Fuck, Bambi,”

Luke’s pace quickened, thrusts becoming sloppier as he continued to thrust into her, hitting her sweet spot over and over, moans filling the room with small pleads from her and soft curses from him.

Then a phone went off. Luke froze inside of her, and she groaned, sweaty, a mess, and incredibly sexually frustrated. She could feel Luke sitting inside of her; how big he was. She thought that he was going to ignore the phone call, to continue something that they were robbed of earlier. He wasn’t really going to let them be interrupted twice today, was he?

He reached over to the bedside table, picking his phone up and looking at the caller ID before sighing. He pulled out of her, baby blues looking at her with a frown, “I need to take this.”

“Luke,” It was a plead. For him to stay with her, to let them finish what they started. She shuffled lightly until she was sitting in front of him, on her knees. Her hand went to the side of his face, caressing it gently as she put her face at his neck, “Stay with me, Sir. I need you.”

He knew exactly what she was trying to do, but he wasn’t going to fall for it. He pulled away from her, gripping onto her side as a warning with his free hand, “No, Bambi.”

His voice was low, a warning for her to stop what she was doing as he sent her a pointed look. He didn’t even let her make another move or get another word in before he was back in his jeans and walking out of the room, leaving her alone.

The seconds that she was alone turned into minutes, and those minutes turned into ten, then fifteen. She shifted uncomfortably, still on edge and incredibly frustrated. It didn’t seem like Luke was coming back as he had left without saying goodbye or telling her where he was going to be or how long. Was this all because she had tried to get him to stay?

Well, if he wasn’t going to get back, she would have to take stuff into her own hands. Leaning back, her hand reached her own clit, rubbing desperately, basking in the feeling once again. This time, she would get the job done.

Her fingers slipped inside of her, curling into her, moans softly filtering out of her lips. She was close, her fingers covered in her own slick as she continued to curl her hands into herself, soft pants falling from her lips as she spread her legs more to get a better angle, trying to go deeper.

Her hands would never be as good as Luke’s though, her small fingers not holding a torch to his digits. He knew everything that made her squirm, even better than she did, he had her all decoded, knew how to navigate her better than anyone else ever could.

“Baby I need to get-” Luke opened the door, stopping when his eyes met her figure on the middle of the bed, fingers inside of her as soft breaths fell from her lips. Her head titled back, eyes lidded as he froze on the spot before a smirk made its way onto his face.

“Really?” He asked incredulously, sauntering up to the bed before grabbing onto her wrist, pulling her fingers out of her desperate cunt making her whine. Her eyes met his, which never strayed, even after he brought her hand up to his mouth and swirling his tongue around her slick-covered digits.

“Lu-”

“Quiet,” He shut her up quickly, voice hard and commanding, something that made nerves bundle in her stomach and turned her on even more. He stood up again, sauntering over to the dresser before pulling a belt from the top of it, grabbing her hands and confining them with the thick leather, “Since you can’t keep your hands off of that pretty little pussy of mine, I guess we’re going to have to do something about that.”

Luke pulled her up to the headboard, hooping the leather around there and tightening it. When he let go, she pulled against the leather restraints, only to find her hands unable to move from their position at the headboard.

“So desperate to cum, baby? Well, you’ll be desperate to stop after I make you come over and over until there’s no more cum left in your body and you're writhing beneath me. Do you understand me, baby?”

“Yes Sir,” She whimpered out in return, nodding her head as she breathed heavily, watching Luke’s hand as it trailed teasingly down her side until it reached her pussy, a finger flicking up and down it, making her hips jerk up.

“But first of all, I need to go deal with the drug run. See you later, Bambi.”

And with a smirk on his face, Luke left his girlfriend there, tied up to the bed, whining for him to come back. And he would, and when he did, she wouldn’t be walking for days afterward.

#luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x y/n #gang!luke hemmings x reader #gang!luke hemmings #gang!luke hemmings x oc #luke hemmings gang #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings x oc

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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Two

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrusted to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Smut, NonCon, Language, Kinda Slow Burn, Bucky with the mood swings, Probably poor editing

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: I cannot put into words how tired I am rn like idk why im so tired all the time but I am. Anyway, here's another part of this cause I like this series but its SO FUCKING DARK LIKE SO DAMN DARK PLEASE BE WARNED!! I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING PART THREE BECAUSE ITS FUCKING DARK

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND VERY DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

PART ONE

~*~

“Your Majesty? Are you feeling at all better today?” You shake your head, curled up on your bed in the fetal position in a pathetic attempt at blocking out the world.

“Please, Majesty. A walk and some fresh air will do you well. It needn’t be long.” You sigh and push your blankets away from your face.

“You will not stop until I agree, will you?” Natasha smiles gently at you. “I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. It is only for your health that I insist.” She helps you to your feet, a frown on her face at the way you struggle still to move.

“You are still in pain?” You simply nod, wincing when she has you step into a dress.

“The pain is more bearable than it was.” She nods, mind wandering as she helps you into your dress for the day.

It’s a simple navy dress with a gold string wrapping around the waist. The sleeves hang past your fingers and you toy with the pretty fabric while Natalia holds an arm around your waist.

The walk is painful and slow and with every step, you wish you were back in your room.

From the looks you get from the staff, you know it’s known how unwelcome you are. This is not how you thought your union would be at all.

~*~

“You were supposed to take care of her! Treat her with kindness and compassion! Not leave her bloody on her bed once you’ve satisfied your need!” Natalia snarls, slamming her hand on the King’s desk. He looks up at her, a bored expression on his face until he processes her words. Then his expression gradually changes to one of regret.

“I... I hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. She... I just... It’s a betrayal, Natalia. I’ve broken my oath to the man I love.” She shakes her head, glaring at him.

“No, it is not. You and Steven made an agreement that you would find a queen. You chose her specifically. And now that Steve is no longer here you’re wanting to back out? That is not how this works, James, and you know that.”

He grinds his teeth together so hard he’s surprised they don’t break.

“That’s exactly the problem! Every time I look at her I’m reminded of him! Because we were supposed to have her together! We were supposed to marry her together and bed her together! She is not mine, she was meant to be ours!”

“And so you treat her like a burden because your husband is not here? You act as though she is nothing more than a whore? That woman in there has feelings, James.” The king pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut to try and reign in his anger.

“You could never possibly understand what it is that I’m feeling. I already admitted to being rougher than I wanted to be. And I should have stopped, but I needed to get it through to consummate the marriage.”

Nat pauses at his words, hoping he doesn’t mean what she thinks he means.

“What do you mean you should have stopped? Did she tell you to stop?”

He swallows hard before nodding.

“She... I could hardly understand her, she was crying so much, but she begged me to a-and she was pushing me away. But I didn’t.”

The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek echoes through the room. The King is stunned but he knows he deserves far worse than a mere smack.

“I never thought you capable of such cruelty, James. That woman is your wife, the Queen of your Kingdom, and you have treated her as if she is the one who took your husband from you.”

He grows angry at the mention of the man he loves. “She is attempting to replace him!” He exclaims, slamming his fist down on his desk to enunciate his point.

“How could you possibly know that?!” Nat counters, her voice raised to match his.

“She has said nothing about wanting to replace Steven! She was well aware that she would be bound to both kings, not just you. I’m sure she is wondering about where her other husband is, why he has not been seen. You need to talk to her. Apologize for brutalizing her the way you have. Mend your relationship with her because she is the only chance you have at continuing your bloodline. She is the only one who can ensure your reign continues.”

The King is silent, mulling over her words before sighing heavily.

“Where is she?”

Nat crosses her arms over her chest. “It has been four days since your marriage and you are only just asking now? She has been unable to walk for the past three days, so she has remained in her chambers. I forced her for a short walk today, but I do not think it did much to lift her spirits.” His jaw clenches for a moment before he lets a breath out through his nose.

“When she is healed I shall talk to her.” It’s not much, but it’s a start, and that’s all Natalia can ask for.

It’s two days after that before you can walk on your own, and even then you’ve got a severe limp. It’s two more days after that before you can sit down on anything besides your bed. It isn’t until ten days after the consummation of your marriage that you leave your room again.

“If you’re feeling healed, the King would like you to join him for tea on his private balcony.”

You’re shocked at Wanda’s words, but you try to hide it, offering her a nod while she helps you get dressed into a simple light blue gown.

She leads you through the Palace towards a side that you’ve never seen before, not that you’ve had much of a chance to explore. When you reach a set of grand oak doors you find yourself growing increasingly nervous.

Wanda, oblivious to your racing heart, knocks twice on the wood then bows to you before scurrying down the hallway and out of sight.

“Enter,” a muffled voice calls. You take a deep breath and push the door open, keeping your eyes cast downwards as you enter the King’s chambers.

His eyes find you immediately, a frown on his face at the way you keep your eyes down on the floor.

“I am glad you’ve rested and recovered,” he says, his frown deepening when you flinch at his voice. You say nothing in reply, simply stand with your hands folded gently atop your skirts.

“Come over to me. The tea is waiting.” You nod, risking a glance up to find where he is and walking over to him. He sits at a small table on the balcony, his attention focused somewhere over the horizon, and you risk taking a breath in.

You carefully sit down on the chair across from him, a wince flashing over your features as discomfort flares between your thighs. The expression doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and a wave of guilt washes through him.

“I... I wanted to apologize for our wedding night. And... I do hope that you can forgive me for my actions and we can start anew.”

You’re beyond surprised and look up at him, unable to stop the look of shock from crossing your face. “Y-you have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty.”

He watches you, watches the way your fingers tremble as you reach out for the teacup. Watches the way you avoid his eyes and shrink into yourself as if to seem as unthreatening and small as possible.

You’re afraid.

Not that he’s surprised, necessarily. What, with the way he treated you? He’s shocked you’re holding yourself together so well.

“I had not intended on being so rough with you. Especially not on our first night together. You must understand that I am not myself as of late. I am... worried about my husband. Hoping to find him soon.” You nod, Wanda’s words echoing in your head.

“There is nothing for me to forgive, Your Majesty. I understand the way you’d like for us to get along and I understand my purpose and my place. You needn’t strain yourself over me. It is my duty to be at your leisure, even if it is not what I desire.”

Your words stun him into silence, the tension growing between the two of you.

“(Y/n),” your name feels foreign on his tongue yet so very right. “When I said what I had said yesterday... All I meant was that-” “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I do believe I understood. I am not so foolish as to believe that this marriage was for anything besides politics. You and the King need an heir and I am here to provide one. That is my place, as you said. Now I do hope you will excuse me, for I am feeling rather delicate and would very much like to return to my chambers.”

He says nothing, simply nods his head and watches as you hold back another wince as you stand up.

He isn’t alone for long. No, Natalia is strolling into his chambers mere moments after you’ve left.

“That was brief,” she says, eyes taking note of the untouched tea that sits across from the King.

“I apologized. That is all that was required of me, yes?” She groans and shakes her head. “How will Steve feel if, when he returns, you and the Queen cannot remain in the same room? You know that he will be beyond disappointed.”

“What am I to do? I tried to speak with her about it but she... it seems to be strictly political. She does not seem to even want to entertain the idea of anything beyond a loveless marriage.”

“Is that, perhaps because she is afraid of how you will treat her if she were to express her desire to be wanted? If you cannot express with words how you feel, then do so with your actions.”

He doesn’t come to you that night. Nor the night after.

It isn't until the third day after that that you see him again. Even then it isn’t any different than the last time.

You’re leaving your chambers to go for a walk in the garden, something Wanda and Nat have been encouraging upon realizing you’re not feeling like yourself.

“I’m telling you, James. I think it’s him.” That’s Samuel’s voice.

“I think he’s right. We should go see. Send a team out. It doesn’t look like they are very securely guarding him. We could go in and have him back within a month.” That one’s Natalia.

Wanda’s chattering goes unnoticed by you as you realize they’re talking about King Steven.

“If you’re sure about this, then gather a team and have the horses prepped. We’ll leave at dusk.”

As they’re rounding the corner they nearly bump right into you. You and Wanda both stop, both of you dropping into a curtsy while Nat and Sam bow.

“Your Majesty,” they greet. You nod at them, eyes cast down.

“You two are both dismissed. You as well, Lady Wanda. I require a word with my wife.” You’re confused at him calling you his wife but you say nothing, eyes stuck on the ground as three sets of footsteps walk away from you.

He’s quiet, watching the way you avoid his eyes.

Finally, unable to bear the silence anymore and wanting to have him be through with whatever it is he wants, you speak.

“You are leaving?” He waits until you glance up at him to answer.

“I will be, yes. We are not sure how long I shall be gone for. But before I leave I’ll be coming to you in your chambers. There’s the chance that I won’t return, so I need to do my part in ensuring my lineage continues. I haven’t come to you to allow you time to recover, but there is only so long you can expect a man to wait for his wife.” You say nothing, simply nod at him.

“I shall be waiting for you, Your Majesty. Is that all?” He lets out a deep breath before speaking again.

“I require an heir, (Y/n). If I am gone for any longer than two months and you are not with child when I return, I will not be as accommodating as I have been.” You can’t help the scoff that leaves you.

“Is something funny to you?”

You look up at him for a moment then shake your head.

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I just hadn’t realized that this was you being accommodating.”

He grabs your face roughly in his flesh hand, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him.

“You watch your tongue with me, woman. If you forget your place I will need to remind you of it, won’t I? But you don’t want that.” Your heart races in your chest and you quickly shake your head ‘no’.

“Remember your place. Or I will beat you back into it. Understand?” You nod and only after a moment longer does he release his grip on your chin.

You drop your head, eyes focused on the ground as he walks away from you. Tears sting at your eyes and you take a few minutes to compose yourself before walking back into the Palace, heading for your chambers.

~*~

He doesn’t bother knocking. He just pushes the door open and makes himself at home. To his surprise, you’re seated on your bed in a nightgown, nose buried in a book.

You’re so caught up in whatever you’re reading that you don’t even notice him.

He takes this moment to really take you in, eyes inspecting your face.

You’re beautiful, that much he and Steve gathered long before even deciding on marrying you. You have a gentle beauty to your face that is such a refreshing change to all the hard and gruesome things he’s seen in his life. He hates that all he wants to do is stare at you.

He notices that. your face lacks its usual glow, and you have dark bags beneath your eyes. Making a mental note to tell Nat to make sure you sleep properly, he takes a step towards you.

You glance upwards, jumping at the way he stands watching you.

He takes another step towards you, unbuttoning his shirt and walking closer to you. You set your book aside and swallow hard.

“How will you have me?” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing you for a moment before deciding.

“On your back.” You push the blankets aside and lay down on your back, trying to take deep breaths.

He takes hold of your ankles and gently tugs you down the bed until your bum is at the edge.

His member slaps against your slit and you jolt, tears welling up in your eyes at the memories of the last time this happened.

Instead of pushing into you dry like he did last time, he leans down and spits right on your intimate area. Shame fills you at how close he comes to you, and at the lewd act, but he seems unfazed. He does the same to his length then slowly pushes in.

There isn’t nearly enough lubricant, and it pinches and burns, but it’s not nearly as painful as last time.

That, however, doesn’t stop the tears from raining down your cheeks. Your chest shudders, silent sobs trying to break free. You bring your hands up to your face, pressing one to your mouth and the other shielding the rest of your face from view.

The King stops moving, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on what he can see of your face, trying to see if he’s causing you pain.

“A-am I hurting you?” He asks, his voice strained. You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for him to keep going.

He’s hesitant but slowly starts thrusting again, pressing his face into your neck if only so he doesn’t have to see the tears on your face. The tears he’s causing.

It pains him to see such sorrow when a pretty face like yours should only be happy. He hates himself for knowing he’s the cause, but he can’t very well stop. He has a job to do, an heir to create.

He focuses instead on how your body feels beneath him. Soft and squishy in all the perfect places. And by the Gods, you’re so tight and warm around him. He groans softly against your neck, lips subconsciously pressing kisses to the skin as he approaches his climax.

You hold your breath as he fills you with warmth again, his breath hot and damp against your skin.

He stays sheathed within you for a few moments longer before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his trousers.

“I leave in a few hours. My councilmen are in charge while I am gone. Remember your place.” You don’t answer and he pauses, leaning down to grab your face the same way he did before.

“What occurs between us in our bed remains between you and me. I do not want to hear of you saying a word about it to anyone. You are mine and I shall treat you how I want.” You nod, mind and body numb.

“Good. I shall return shortly. If I will be gone longer than a month I will send word.” He exits without another word, leaving you used and broken yet again.

~*~

The riders leave as soon as the sun sets, the king leading them. You watch through the small window in your room, heart heavy as you realize that you well and truly serve but one purpose to the man.

“Dinner, your Majesty.” You glance over your shoulder to where Wanda is holding a tray of food.

“No thank you, Wanda. I am not hungry tonight. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” She nods, setting the tray down and hurrying to get your bed ready.

“I can do that tonight, Wanda. I would... I would like some time alone, please.” She pauses, the pain in your voice far more evident than you wanted it to be.

“Of course, Your Majesty.” She bows her head, picks up the tray of food, then hurries out of your chambers and leaves you alone for the night.

You hardly sleep at all, silent tears tracking down your cheeks as thoughts of how much better your old life was fill your mind.

You truly are no better than a prisoner, and for a moment you find yourself wishing you were beheaded with your mother.

#king!bucky #king!steve rogers x reader #king!bucky x Princess!reader X king!steve #king!Steve X reader #king au #bucky x reader king au #Steve X reader king au #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky/reader #stucky x reader au #royal!au #bucky x reader royal au #bucky x reader royal au #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x reader x bucky #bucky x reader x steve #Steve X reader x bucky

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plant-flwrs · 3 years

Note

hello, i am obsessed with your writing! i was hoping you could do a george x reader where they both have a mutual crush but george ended up asking someone else to the yule ball, reader doesn’t go, but they make up or something? i just crave some angst with fluff and your writing is perfect. if not, that’s okie, ty!

coward // george weasley

masterlist!

a/n: im extra in love w george rn omg........ thank u sm for ur request!!!! i hope this was angsty enough for u <333

summary: George asks Alicia to the ball when he really wanted to ask you, but he makes it up to you.

(1.8k)

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George Weasley made your heart race any time he walked in a room. He made you loose your train of thought, he made you weak in the knees, he made you practically incapable of speaking.

You were the last thing George thought about before bed. You were constantly the topic of his conversations, you made him blush whenever you smiled at him.

So, it would only make sense for George to ask Alicia to the Yule Ball.

At least, that’s what you had been telling yourself over and over again since you had heard.

You hadn’t even really expected George to ask you, honestly, but you had thought there was a possibility he liked you; maybe he would have gone alone but asked you for a dance. Instead, you watched George lean onto Alicia’s desk in Charms, his forearms flexing under his weight, his hair falling perfectly over his forehead, saying something to make Alicia’s head throw back as she laughed.

You definitely felt your heart race, your head empty, your knees weaken, and incapable of speaking, but you also felt nauseous. You forced yourself to look away, feeling a lump form in your throat. As you stared down at your Charms textbook, tears blurred your vision and you did anything you could to try and stop them from falling down your cheeks. You had nearly calmed down, your breathing coming to a normal speed, when you saw a shadow fall over your desk.

You took some lasting deep breaths, and looked up, meeting George’s smiling face.

“Hey,” he said, slipping into his seat next to you.

At the beginning of the year, George had been moved from his seat next to Fred in an attempt to stop classroom disruptions. It would have worked, but George felt just as compelled to talk to you as he did Fred.

You nodded silently at him, forcing a smile.

“You alright?” he asked, leaning closer to you so your shoulders were touching.

You were hyperaware of his touch, as if sparks flew from you both. You could barely focus on keeping your voice clear, the small amount of contact sending your brain flying.

“Yeah,” you managed, sounding a bit forced.

You ducked your head back down, subtly moving away from George.

George resisted the urge to punch himself. You seemed upset, and he wanted to do nothing more than wrap his arms around you and press a million little kisses to your face. Instead, he had wimped out and asked his closest female friend to the ball, rather than plucking up the courage to ask you.

He hadn’t wanted to do it. Fred was teasing him about his lack of a date, him going with Angelina and all, and it was getting to George. He looked around the common room, eyes falling on the first girl he knew, and asked her if she had a date. He made it very clear that they were going as friends, and he knew Alicia had a crush on some Ravenclaw boy in the year bellow them. You didn’t know any of that, though, and George felt rotten about it.

Your mood had seriously decreased since he assumed you found out he was taking someone else. You no longer smiled at him in the halls, avoiding his eyes, and just avoiding him in general. He had no idea what to do.

When class was dismissed, you practically leapt from your seat. George followed quickly after you, ignoring Fred’s calls to wait for him. George beat you to the door, standing in front of it and looking down at you with a hopeful yet sympathetic smile.

“Can I walk with you?” he asked, his hand not turning the doorknob as a line of people wanting to leave started to form.

“Sure, I guess,” you said, pretending to be confused rather than annoyed and hurt.

George swung the door open, looking down at you as you walked past him and out of the classroom.

You walked side by side for a few paces, George stuffed his hands in his pockets and had a look of concentration as he thought about what to say. You willed yourself to breath normally, pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth to stop from crying. Just being near George was a reminder that he hadn’t liked you back, that he was taking someone else to something you had wanted so badly to go with him to.

Finally, George cleared his throat and gave you a sideways glance.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” he said, speaking slowly and softly, “you’ve seemed off these past few days.”

You wanted to stop walking, turn around, and go straight to your dorms where you could suffocate your tears in your pillow. Rather, you decided to pull yourself together. You cleared your throat, putting on quite a convincing look of being fine.

“Yeah,” you said, looking up at his worried expression, “I’ve just been really tired.”

George nodded slowly, not believing you. He had been confident that you liked him, that him asking Alicia was what had been making you so upset. If he was wrong, then he was wrong, but he hoped he wasn’t.

“Oh okay,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek as he began to feel the same feeling of rejection you had been feeling.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, nodding your head.

You both walked in silence for a few more paces, the gears in George’s head turning.

“So,” you looked up to him with a smile, “I heard you’re taking Alicia to the ball.”

George swallowed a lump in his throat, looking down at you with his eyebrows furrowed. His sad eyes met your cheerful ones, and he felt his heart sink. He coughed, forcing away this feeling and trying to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, gaining volume as he went, “yeah, I asked her the other day.”

“That’s great, George, I’m happy for you guys,” you lied, biting your lip as you gave him your best fake smile.

“Well,” George snapped, “we’re only going as friends, so not much to be happy about.”

You got quiet, not expecting George to get angry at you like that. You looked at your feet as you walked, happy that the Transfiguration classroom was only a few feet away.

“Y/n, look, I’m sorry-” he started, but you cut him off, turning to look at him with your hand on the door handle of the classroom.

“It’s fine,” you smiled at him, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

You left him in the hallway as you went into class.

Alicia looked beautiful, she really did, but George’s mind was elsewhere.

Fred nudged his brother as they watched their dates come down the stairs, meeting them in front of the Great Hall. Fred happily took Angelina’s hand and whisked her into the Hall, ducking his head to hers and pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek.

“Hello, George,” Alicia said, coming down the stairs and standing next to him.

Neither of them made a move to grab the other’s hands, and George was thankful for that. They walked into the Hall, trailing after Fred and Angelina.

George danced, he drank some punch, and he talked with friends. He made himself have somewhat of a good time, but you were always on his mind. He scanned the crowd every two seconds for you, always peering over Alicia’s shoulder as they danced.

“What are you looking for?” she asked him, her hands loosely resting on his shoulders as they danced to a slow song.

“No one,” George shook his head, returning his gaze to his friend, “Nothing.”

“C’mon, George,” Alicia pressed, looking up at him with a knowing smile.

“Y/n,” he said, sighing heavily, “I thought she might come.”

“Why would she come?” Alicia asked gently, “You didn’t ask her.”

George feigned shock as he looked down at her, hoping she was joking.

“What are you talking about?”

“You asked me as friends instead of who you really wanted to go with,” she said matter-of-factly, casting a glance to her left at the Ravenclaw boy she had wanted to go with, “and I did the same thing. We’re both idiots.”

George chuckled, pulling Alicia into a hug as the song finally ended.

“I really hate to do this to you,” he started, but Alicia was already pushing him away by his chest.

“Go, she might be in the Astronomy Tower,” Alicia said to him, smiling.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, pushing his way through the crowd and out of the hall.

He nearly sprinted to the tower, taking every hidden passage way he knew and wasting no time.

Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs, and you spun around, looking at the staircase. You had gotten ready for the ball, dressed up and everything, but just couldn’t make it down those stairs and into the hall. Instead, you snuck up to the Astronomy Tower, hoping to find some peace, alone.

You began making excuses in your head that you hoped whichever teacher caught you up here would accept, heart beating in your chest.

However, the flaming red hair and boy clad in handsome dress robes made your heart beat faster than it ever had before.

“George?” you called out, not really speaking to him, but to no one in particular. He was the last person you expected to see.

“I’m so sorry,” he panted, taking large strides to you.

“What?”

“I should have asked you,” he breathed out, not taking his eyes off of your face, “I should have asked you, not Alicia. I was a coward, and I’m sorry.”

“George-”

“You look beautiful,” he said, finally so close to you that your chests were nearly touching.

He looked down at you, removing his hands from his pockets and cupping your cheeks.

“I’m so sorr-”

You stopped him, standing on your toes to reach his face. You kissed him, eyes fluttering closed. Your hands slid up his chest, balling up the collar of his robes and pulling him closer to you. His hands slid from your face, one going to rest on the back of your neck while the other went to your waist. His lips were slow and gentle, and he sighed into your mouth. Your lips turned up in a smile, and he pulled away once you were out of breath.

“Dance with me?” he asked, removing his hand from your neck and holding it out to you.

You took his hand, and he held it up as his other hand tightened around your waist. You put your free hand on his shoulder, squealing as he pulled you closer to him.

He slowly moved you around the room, humming a tune as you danced. You rested your head on his chest, melting at his touch.

#george weasley #george weasley fic #george #weasley #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fluff #george weasley fanfic #george weasley x you #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #yule ball #hogwarts

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younghosfavewhore · 3 years

Text

mine forever . 1:27am

part 1 [a] / part 2 [s]

wc; 1.5k

plot; nctjohnny!boyfriend x femreader!girlfriend

the members of nct have been stirred up in dating rumors and scandals for the past month. when pictures of johnny meeting with a childhood friend begin to float around, you must remind johhny that he’s yours. forever.

prompts; [a]6 “She was nothing to you, was she? Then prove it.” [a]20 “People talk- people will always talk...”

warnings; (mentions of TAEYONG’s injury) fluff?!, jealous reader, angsty!!!

My eyes skim over the articles. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. The headlines seemed to drag on forever, “Johnny Suh; NCT’s 5th member involved in Dating Scandal”. Another read, “NCT Johnny Caught with Foreigner; Photos Below”

photos?

I couldn’t resist clicking the link that my cursor hovered over. The full article was now displayed onto my screen. The pictures loaded for a second, then they were displayed before me. And there it was, Johnny Suh -my Johnny Suh- at a cafe with a blonde-haired foreigner. I continued scrolling, which was probably a mistake, but I was in shock. Certainly they were doctored by some vengeful sasaeng. Another link pops onto my screen, “NCT Johnny Suh has Foreign Girlfriend? VIDEO FOOTAGE”

you’re fucking kidding me.

A notification sound blares from my phone, the sixth one in the past half hour. I haven’t even picked up my phone, I know what the notifications are. There was no doubt in my mind that it was Johnny texting me a sad excuse for the video that’s now playing on a loop on my screen. I recognized her. Her blonde hair and small frame. It was his high school sweetheart; Madison. In the video -which was only about 8 seconds long- you could see him embrace her. They stood at the cafe table, drinks in hand, about to depart. Johnny’s long arms then spread out, welcoming her into a hug. He initiated it. Even in front of all these people, all these cameras. He hugged her. He knew exactly what he was doing. Another notification sound blared through my phone speaker. Why did this make me feel so threatened? So weak? I pick up my phone <6 unread texts from johnny❤> I open the messages, taking a deep breath as I do so.

johnny❤: baby?

y/n? text me when you get this.

ik you see my texts

i know you’re upset please just text me

i can explain, i promise…

im omw to the hotel, we’ll talk when i get there, ok?

My eyes widen at the last text. Why was he on his way here? What made him think that I wanted to see him?

me: dont bother, i dont think i want to see you rn

I send the text with tears welling in my eyes. I was just beginning to fully wrap my head around the events that unfolded before me.

*ding* <1 new text from johnny❤>

johnny❤: please, y/n

you know me better than anyone, don’t believe these rumors, y/n

Me: i saw the pictures johnny… and the video. what excuse could you have?

My head began to spin, no way did he think I was going to fall for his pity story.

johnny❤: this is why we’ll talk in person

i have a lot of explaining to do, i know. just listen to me please

i’m only 2 minutes away, ill explain everything i promise

Take a deep breath. I think to myself, convincing myself that maybe he would have a good excuse. After all, it's Johnny. Would he ever do anything to hurt me? I struggled to gain composure as I heard a familiar knock on the door. The lock clicked and the door crept open. I stood in the living room of the homey suite.

“y/n..” Johnny’s voice breaks the silence. He peeks from behind the door.

My eyes meet his and I feel faint. What’s going to happen? I ask myself, not knowing the right answer as hundreds of thoughts fill my head.

He continues inside, closing the door softly behind him. He takes slow strides in my direction, and that’s when the tears well in my eyes. Why? I’m not sure, I’ve always been one to get overwhelmed easily, but this was new. His hand reaches out to take mine and I flinch away. The images of him taking another girl into his arms flashing in my head.

“Why her? How--” My voice breaks and the tears finally fall from my eyes.

“It’s not at all what you think it is, baby.” His voice was soft and genuine. Almost desperate.

“Then what is it? Huh?” My voice changed from calm to angry. I took a deep breath in an attempt to try to calm myself back down and I back farther away from him. “I... I was patient. I knew this would happen. I was understanding of the rumors, the lies. But this? These pictures? These videos?” I began to lose my cool. “How could you possibly explain this?” Anger was tainting my words, what was I saying? “If you want to be with her then just say that.” I spit the words out.

Johnny looks taken aback, rightfully so. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it, Johnny?!” I shouted, menacingly. “It isn’t adding up.” I plead as my voice cracks. “Please, just fucking explain yourself.”

He walks towards me again, I don’t have the energy to fight him anymore. He takes my hand and places a light kiss on it.

“I know you’re confused. I know you’re angry.” He doesn’t take his eyes off of mine. “People talk. In this industry, people talk so fucking much.” His tone was so gentle; he was hurt but still so gentle with me. “People will always talk, okay, y/n?”

I nod, tears streaming down my face at this point.

“I’m in the wrong here. You saw the videos, I know, but there’s more to it than that.” He sits me down next to him on the couch.

“I just don’t understand.” My voice trembles. “With the other members, Doyoung, Mark, it was just gossip, easily dismissed. But…” My voice trails off.

“I know.” He sighs and pulls me close to him. “Those pictures were taken completely out of context.” where is he going with this? “Yes, it was Madison. And I’m sorry for meeting up with her without telling you, especially with everything that’s been going on…” He traced his fingers in small circles along my back, something he often did when he needed to calm me down. He sighs and pulls me closer to him, we sit in silence for a bit before he continues. “As you know, Taeyong… His injury?”

I nod my head against his chest. “I know…” I whisper in response. what does that have to do with anything?

“Well… Madison, when I met with her at the cafe,” He paused, awaiting a reaction but I didn’t give one. I wanted to hear him out. He continues, “She moved here a few months ago. It has nothing to do with me, or NCT as a whole.” He disclaims. “She’s studying abroad here for a journalist internship. She’s-”

“Get to the point,” I whisper, barely being able to hear him ramble on about her.

He places a kiss on the top of my head. “Everyone knew about Yong’s injury; the managers, the staff, even the stage crew noticed it.” I wince a bit at the thought of Taeyong having to deal with this kind of injury. “You were busy with studies and I didn’t want you worrying about me or the boys. I vented to Madison about it. She explained that she had ties to news sources that could have exposed SM for overworking him. So…” He sighs, “She threatened SM. Unless they gave us all a break or hiatus, she threatened to report it to national broadcasting stations.”

“Wait-” I interrupt him, the puzzle pieces finally fitting together in my head.

“Let me finish.” He cuts me off in return. “I wanted to treat her to coffee while she was still in town, as a thank you. Nothing more. Because of her, me and the boys were able to finally get a break and Taeyong is finally getting rest.” He explains.

im such a fucking idiot, i think to myself.

I was speechless, how could I have been this stupid. I finally built up the courage to look up at him; his eyes scanning my face for a reaction.

“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can mutter out in my state of embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. I promised to be transparent about this stuff and instead I hid it from you. I’m in the wrong too. I’m sorry.” He replies, softly. His hands trailed up and down my back.

I look into his eyes again, begging for forgiveness without saying a single word. He got the hint and leaned in to press a soft peck to my lips.

“I love you,” I said, my lips brushing against his as our foreheads rested on each other.

He smiles before kissing me back. “I love you, too.”

“So, she means nothing?” The sudden, whispered, inquiry was cold in the quiet air.

There was a pause, a moment that I nearly regretted asking.

“She means nothing.” He said, his voice was gruff and direct.

“Then prove it.” The words rolled off my tongue, and before I had time to think, Johnny’s lips were pressed back up against mine.

#johnnysuh #kpop #nct #nct127 #youngho #kpopangst #angst #this was gonna be smut but ??#i feel like the angst aspect is 10x better #unless a smutty pt 2 is needed #hmmm😏😏#ponderinggg #johnnyangst #nct angst #this is veryyyy different from my normal writing style so i hope its not too #...#bad

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osdd-1bitch · 3 years

Note

// partly a vent? but also if you have any type of advice as to what i can do pls say,, gotta be honest im still INSANELY fucked on if im a system or not :( for a while i was dead set on it but i ended up just not saying anything to my therapist and fell back into that "ok no thats not me, im just a really vivid daydreamer" mindset.

then your blog auto-popped up as i was typing and i clicked it and im back to that "maybe" thing. im just so conflicted rn ughhh goddamnit :( ive been having an extremely stressful past few weeks (no specifics but alot of my trauma resurfaced, alot of shit triggered me, similar traumatic situations etc) and i missed both of my therapy sessions the past 2 weeks, so ive kinda reverted back to being dependant on alters who im not even sure are alters or not. and even THEN im not sure how to bring up to my therapist that i think i may have OSDD or DID?? like idk how im gonna come back after 2 weeks and say "hey btw all this traumatic shit came back up and i think i might be a system bc i talk to people in my head who arent me lol but anyways can i use ur fidget cube?" ??? SO much has happened and im really debating on just pushing down that it might be osdd/did and pretending nothing is wrong for the sake of keeping myself mentally stable yk ?? gotta say i just dont know what to do at all. lets also not forget im 13 and shouldnt even have to deal w this much stress EVER but dfghgtf. im just really struggling to tell if this is my maladaptive daydreaming or DID man :(

MaDD and plurality are weird to work w, especially since MaDD can and often is be caused by trauma and there are some expressions of MaDD that one could put on the plural spectrum. Its mucky either way and can suck to deal with

before i continue, id like to say our experience on therapy has...not been great so ill refrain from giving therapy specific advice for fear of our past experiences clouding our judgement, but you can share the trauma bits and get some help without talking about plurality. the rings system did some videos that might help about talking to a therapist,red flags ect, lovely folks, you should give em a watch if you havent. either way id say you prolly shouldnt bring this up yet, but info is also good in general

and also, some personal advice, be very very careful on the internet, especially social medias at your age. we were in your shoes once and it did fck us up quite a bit

either way, i seriously doubt youll be taken seriously, not in a bad way, full grown adults struggle to get help. and stressing about specifics can just lead to, you guessed it! more stress. its totally fine to drop all lables and just exist for a while and try and do whatever, talking w sysmates or daydreaming whatever, you dont have to name these experiences for now, just live them. doubt is weird, and youll almost def be wout dxing for a few years either way.

just live your life, try not to bring up trauma wout professionals, and be very safe on the internet, and preferably get off tumblr and move somewhere safer, its really not a place for people your age. i know you probably wont listen to that bit much, but at least be extra super safe.

self dxing can take years btw. its not really a matter of weeks, lived experience and analyzing yourself and just questioning takes a lot of time. take it slow

and its totally fine if its not did. or madd. or either. dont stress, dont try and conform yourself to dxes and stuff rn, especially since you are both v young and just started questioning. im not saying your age means you shouldnt, if you have did you have it rn, but things can take time to come to light. just b honest w yourself and open to the options, mkay? self dxing is a lot of research on top of the work. if you started questiong round now tbh many systems if they questions at your age would get a dx or self dx at like 15,16,17 ect ect, and thats if they question. do what helps you and talk to your therapist, you dont have to mention did but talk about questioning disorders and junk.

this sorta age is when figuring yourself out rlly starts to happen yknow? that doesnt mean you should be cornered off n stuff, n kept away from dxes, but it also means you should be very careful n research a ton. if you find smth you resonate w it, keeping it in the maybe pile for a year or two can seem like its a long time, but will help a ton in the end, if its true or not. if its stressing you out a ton, its okay to not think about it for a bit, you have time.

and again, please please please try and get off social medias they can mess w your head a lot, and try not to share your age online again. im torn abt publishing this n may delete this ask n repost the response, but im not sure

tldr:

i dont wanna tell you to not question or identify symptoms, but things change a lot n you are just dipping your toes into life. take things slow and sit on them, thats the best advice given to us at your age. you could be absolutely right, you could be confused, you could be dead wrong, and all of these are okay. just keep yourself open, research and rlly think abt it (like months of thinking abt it) before it can age properly in the maybe bin. and also be safe online, dont share your age and stuff n keep off toxic n inapropriate sites like this best you can. options are open and symptoms can change over time. just exist and take note of things. dont stress over lables, n self dx should stay in the possibly-maybe bin for now, itll be worth the wait

#anon #advice tag #dealing w trauma disorders at a younge age sucks a lot #n ik being young can make everything seem fadt n easy #but its rlly not i promise #ppl question sht for years #some things change n turn out to b diff #ik its rlly hard but take it v slow #n also go to bed on time #n Please get off of tumblr or at least b safer #im rlly only publishing this bc you r on anon #w no tags or anything #i feel a lot of ppl dismiss ppl who question at younga ges #n often for v good reasons but outright #dissmisal i think itsnt right #just know things can b v diff in a few yrs okay?#(also yall should i delte or nah? torn rn)#caps cw

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