car’s outside (but I don’t wanna go tonight)
sam winchester x reader
summary: sam feels bad because he’s always away on hunts. you reassure him
warnings: angst, fluff, insecure sam
word count: 1.3k
requested by @fuiabarcelos
Sam came home when the hand of the clock showed way past midnight. You would like to say you noticed, but you didn’t. Like every other night, you had waited up until late for your boyfriend to return, but as much as you missed him, you had to fall asleep at some point.
Sam was quiet when he entered the bedroom. For a moment, when he saw you, he just froze and leaned against the threshold. The lack of moonlight was no obstacle for him to make out your figure under the bedsheets, curled up toward his side of the bed, leaving space as if he was there.
Sam was careful when he lifted the covers and slid under them, like a silent breeze drifting through a window.
He shuffled closer to the warmth of your body, wrapping one arm around you. In sleep, you let out a noise and scooted closer to him, pressing against his side and resting the palm of your hand over your heartbeat, just as the two of you always did.
Just like he had never left.
You weren’t an early bird. Usually, Sam was. He went out for runs, or just left bed early to get more of his day, but whenever he was home with you – which seemed to be a lot fewer times lately – you tried your best to let him sleep in.
He barely got four hours of rest anyway while he was with Dean, so whenever you could, you let him take as much time as possible. Sam always claimed to have a sort of inner clock that woke him up at ungodly times anyways, but whenever he shared a bed with you, that clock seemed to be muted.
You were preparing breakfast when Sam came down the stairs. It didn’t matter what time it was, because you were two grown adults living in your own place, and you could very well decide at what time of day to eat what, thank you very much.
Some eggs and bacon were sizzling in the pan, as two strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind. You felt the soft tickle of Sam’s breath against your skin, and the start of a stubble, while he pressed light, whispered kisses over your naked shoulder.
“Sorry I stayed away longer than I said I would,” Sam apologized softly next to your ear, voice still rough and drunken from sleep.
You blindly raised a hand to his head behind you and began scratching his scalp. Sam hummed into the crook of your neck.
“It’s okay baby,” you reassured him quietly.
“Hm, ‘s not,” Sam mumbled. Without a warning, his hold around your body tightened, and he lifted you up, twirling you around and placing you down on top of the kitchen isle. You yelped in surprise, naked thighs unsuccessfully shying away from the cold stone plate.
The freezing feeling was fast forgotten, when Sam dashed forward, hands supported on either side of your body, pressing his lips into yours.
A surprised grunt slipped past your lips when you pushed your mouth back into his. Sam’s lips felt chapped, and dry, maybe a bit bloody. They felt like the best kiss you’d ever gotten.
“Sam, the eggs are going to burn.” You protested when he pulled back to gasp for air.
Gaze fixated on you, Sam reached behind him, grabbed the dial, and swiftly turned it from a 6 to a 0. He smiled up at you, pure mischief blinking in his eyes.
“You’re insufferable,” You said, but the grin on your lips took away all the power behind it. Sam merely hummed and leaned in closer to you again. You met him halfway.
This kiss was softer, slower. An appreciation of the other’s presence and basking in it, rather than the kiss of reunion from before. You didn’t mind.
Sam had always felt perfectly shaped for you, in any way one could imagine. From the first day, he had known your lips like he had mesmerized them from an earlier life, and when he shared a bed with you, his arms hugged your body in just the way to make you feel harbored.
“How was the hunt?” You whispered. Sam’s head was resting in the crook of your neck again, as you pressed your cheek into his hair and carded your fingers through the dark strands.
Sam grunted. “I’ll never get used to you so casually asking that.”
A soft laugh escaped your throat.
Sam shifted and looked at you. “It was good,” He answered. “Missed you, though.”
He pecked your lips. You pouted. “I missed you too, baby.”
Something dark crossed Sam’s face. The corners of his mouth fell.
“You know, it’s days like these I wish I wouldn’t have to do this,” He admitted to you.
You nodded in understanding. “I know.”
Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “How can you live with this so easily? With me? I would’ve kicked myself out months ago.”
Your thumb softly smoothed out the worried line of his eyebrow. “Sam, what you and Dean do out there is so important,” You remind him. “You save people. And you love doing it.”
Sam shook his head, unconvinced. “Why are you being so understanding about this? Why can’t we fight, and you can you just yell at me to stay?”
“Would you?”
Sam didn’t answer, just averted your eyes at the question.
“Exactly.” You smiled softly. “Sam, I know I couldn’t keep you from this. And that’s why I would never ask you to give it up. I would never make you choose.”
“But it’s not how this should be. How we should be. I.” He touched his forehead softly against yours.
“Always one foot out the door. It’s not what you deserve.”
“Maybe not. But I know how much it means to you. Being out there, saving people, being with your brother. And I would never keep you from that.” You added.
Sam’s eyes flashed with an offer. “Then come with me.”
You softly shook your head. “You know you can’t ask that of me.”
He bowed his head again. “I know, I-“ He sighed. “I’m sorry.”
You tilted his chin up to look at you. His eyes were liquid, glistening in the dim light of your kitchen like warm copper. “Hey. You didn’t let me finish before.”
Your thumbs caressed his cheek, your hands holding up his head. “Maybe it is not what I deserve. But it is what I want.” You leaned closer to him. “You are what I want, Sam Winchester.”
Sam leaned his forehead against yours. “You are what I’ll always want.”
For a moment, you closed your eyes. You felt your breathing through the silence of the kitchen, the rising and sinking of your chest, and how it accommodated to move the same as Sam’s.
You felt the beating of a heartbeat. You couldn’t say if it was Sam’s, or yours. They beat the same.
“What did I do to deserve you?” He whispered. You grinned.
“You bring me souvenirs from every town you go in.”
“That’s nothing.”
You lean back and look at him. “For me, it’s everything.”
Sam’s eyes dart in-between yours, and the look that burned in them was so sincere, it almost made his heart ache. Dean had called you a witch once, Sam just called it love.
He wrapped you into another kiss.
You spent a lot of time kissing that morning.
The eggs were already cooled down by the time you served them, and the bacon was no longer crispy, but it didn’t matter. Sam was too captivated by being back home with you, to pay that much mind to the food anyway.
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