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#inc i feel like this was u-
inseparableduo · 7 months
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drew theyre upsetting darla, are you gonna do anything?
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"Haa well, she never listens to me anyway and right now she's either going to become a nun because men keep pissing her off or just let the next man she sees knock her up to prove a point with that moldy asshole."
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"So of course I called backup!"
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"Not really sure what you expect me to do, Andy."
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artaintfartwarriors · 11 months
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Hey, you seem like a big warriors fan on tumblr. I keep seeing Warriors stuff on my feed. Thinking about potentially reading the books, but do you have any tips when there are literally eight major arcs, with six books in each, not including the standalone stuff. I’m really curious and I don’t have a lot of space in my house for 50 new books, do you know about any way to kind of pare down the amount of reading necessary. Do you need to read every single book to understand what’s going on? Or do you just need to know the stuff about the most recent arc(broken code) and the recent new book(Starless Clan: River) to fit in with the fandom? Any books I don’t have to read and I’ll still be fine?
Hi!!! So, in terms of not having room in your house for a ton of new books, I can definitely recommend using your local library or reading free pdfs online (or buying them if u prefer)! There are also plenty of audiobooks too :)
As for reading them at all, I’d honestly suggest reading the first arc (The Prophecies Begin) both because it’s the start of it all and bc I think it does a great job at establishing the world building and all that! Plus, the protagonist is like the most famous cat of em all LOL. Aside from that, I think the most “important” arcs are probably The Power of Three, Omen of the Stars, and The Broken Code, personally, but I do also love the rest and would recommend all of them if you have the time. I think the prequel series, Dawn of the Clans, is the least relevant at this point of time in the fandom? U don’t need to read any (all?) of the novellas/mangas/super editions to know what’s up rn but they are oftentimes a good read—just not necessary. The Warriors wiki has both simplified and detailed plot descriptions for every book that you can skim through instead of reading the whole book if you’d rather catch up sooner than later.
Also, there’s no need to Fit In with the fandom or anything. I don’t know if I’m even necessarily a big part of it, I just like engaging with it and other fans and making some art, that’s all. I haven’t read tooooo much besides the main arcs, actually, so there’s a lot I’m missing on the sidelines!
Ehhhh this is a lot, sorry, but TL;DR: start with the first arc, and use online resources or the library if you don’t want to buy books. Get into it bc u like it, not bc u want to join a fandom :P
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dimidarling · 11 months
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Trigun trending and seeing all the stampede art makes me feel so. Man. I miss when this fandom wasn’t like this my hatred for stampede runs deep.
#I am such a stampede hater#I dislike almost everything I’ve seen them do to the characters#and to the plot#and I hate how vash art is now soooo ooc feeling#and I hate all the ooc wolfwood thirst trap art#and the amount of inc*st art has risen dramatically who would’ve thought!!#words cannot describe what watching my FAVORITE manga become mainstream like this has done to me#the old anime was already dominating the fandom which meant art for manga charas like elendira or livio was sparse as hell#now it’s all stampede art which is even worse cries#anyway. I had to be a hater I won’t apologize for it on my own blog#stampede can suck my ass I think it sucks#also can all of u shits stop tagging stampede stuff w trigun you’re clogging the og tags#it’s annoying#stampede vash’s design sucks too btw#ruined the arm reveal and made him look more like a conventionally attractive anime boy than the og#way less distinct and also his glasses aren’t even unique anymore#I know it’s literally inconsequential but I’m choosing to nitpick bc I dislike him so much#anyway.#trigun manga means sm to me I’m so sad the fandom is now mostly stampede bullshit. man.#dozy speaks#usually I’m not a reboot hater btw. I’m an mlp fan I get reboot changes!!!#but the changes shouldn’t mean removing one of your only female characters and making everyone look younger and making one character#more white looking#and making some characters kids what is up with elendira????#and idk. I just hate the fandom for stampede everyone makes vash so one dimensional and it makes me soooo deeply annoyed
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mudzdale · 1 year
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posts that are 99% good advice about internet etiquette and then end w some rant about "purity culture" are frustrating to see get passed around bc 9/10 the op means that in a pr*ship way
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uris-stanley · 2 years
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mike's "we're not kids anymore" line and his whole attitude to will in s3 is so ironically funny because he was the Exact Same Way in s2, which takes place less than a year earlier
mike wanted nothing to do with girls in s2, he just wanted to be hang out with will and the rest of the party and got so upset when lucas and dustin wanted to invite max
it's only when el gets back (aka the person he had traumatic experiences with, the first girl who ever treated him nicely and someone he literally saw die in order to save his life) that he suddenly cares about girls again.
it's like, is it just him growing up like he claims? or is it maybe because he's formed trauma bonds with el and is throwing himself into a romantic relationship (and trying to act all mature and not like a child) in order to try and escape that trauma, and pretend everything's okay?
#stranger things#mike wheeler#its just. its interesting#mikes change bewtween s2&3 is just so drastic??#lucas and dustin don't because they showed interest in girls from the start of s2 when they both hd crushes on max#and then in s3 theyre in relationships and it feels normal and shit#but mike goes from being anti mx and soending his time trying to care for will to a romantic relationship and refusing to play dnd and stuff#cuase 'oh were not kids will' but YOU ONLY DECIDED THAY WHEN THE GURL U TRAUMA BONDED TO CAME BACK#if el Hadnt come back you know damn well that he wouldnt be all 'oh were grown up were gonna get girlfs' hed still be trying to protect will#cause thats what mike does. he thrives in positions of leadership and nurturing and protection#he jumped off a cliff for dustin in s1 and was insistent on looking for will#in s2 he sticks by wills side ever second that he can and is the onky one there for him#s3? s3 els back and he throws himself into the relationship and just. refuses to be who he was in s1&2 and so he's completely chabged#his relationship with el just screams trauma response on both ends. he has. little crush on her in s1 sure but then he watches her Die#and like. that ucka him up and hes traumatised but shes gone so he projects his need to protect onto will#and then ince shes Back theyre both just. trauma bonded. and push the relationship because its what they know and its 'safe'#idk man i just dint think tgeir relationship currently hs heakthy bond and foundation ls#i think he's protecting himself#mike#st
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rckhudson · 14 days
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remember i had this and never released it
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loverboybitch · 2 years
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finally home from trip hello. turning a new leaf where i am sexy and cool all the time now just fyi.//.
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causenessus · 3 months
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Love Languages. | Bungou Stray Dogs
inc: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, tecchou, jouno
written in 2nd pov (female reader implied)
song recc: do you love by trish toledo & baby bash
word count: 2324 words
pretty sure everything is written in lowercase except for names if they didn't look ugly capitalized bc aesthetics !!! had tons of fun writing this I apologize, this is barely proofread and for literally every character I got too caught up in specific examples and scenarios and just kept building off of it but I think they're kind of sweet so I hope u enjoy <3
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dazai osamu - acts of service
“she peels an orange for us in the morning / she woke me up to give me half” golden girl - frank ocean
he’s terrible at taking care of himself, so someone who takes the time to care for him just makes every wall crumble
he’s probably horrible at remembering to eat as well, so if you make something for him he’ll treasure it forever
bonus points if your job requires you to wake up earlier than him (which isn’t hard, he def comes in a little later than his coworkers) and you leave something for him to eat when he wakes up or to take with him to work (or both <3)
he’ll start to look forward to waking up in the mornings in hope that you’ve made him something
never asks you if you’ll make something in specific or if you’ll even make him something at all. he adores anything you make and doesn’t want to make you feel obliged to do something if you happen to be tired and don’t want to cook tomorrow
voices all his appreciation for you when you both have laid down to go to sleep
“bella, I can’t tell you how much it means to me, all that you do. you really don’t have to make me anything if it’s a hassle in the morning or when you get home. you already work so hard.”
you turned onto your other side to face him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear as you smiled, “I do it because I want to, ‘Samu. and because I love you. if I can’t spend the day with you because we’re both at work, at least I can take care of you.”
his chest buzzed with so much happiness his eyes stung for a moment. he held himself back from saying that he didn’t deserve you. saying something like that wouldn’t solve anything. instead, he’d make himself worthy of you by helping out as well
he probably can’t cook very well but he finds other ways to help, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, and cleaning the place so that there’s less on your plate
ask him to do anything and he’ll get it done for you as soon as possible <3
I think that for him, receiving such sweet love without any words is foreign to him but is just what he needs. he’d rather show how much he loves you than say it (although he loves to tell you it as well). getting out of bed could be so difficult for him some days, yet having a goal for himself has motivated him to become a better person. he wakes up, excited for what you may have made him and ready to do whatever he can for you
nakahara chuuya - gift giving
“they asked, ‘do you love her to death?’ I said, ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’” - mahmoud darwish
it’s easier for him to express how much you mean to him by giving you everything you want and everything he thinks you would like
he still tells you that he loves you every chance he gets, but oftentimes it is accompanied by a gift, no matter how small it may be, from just a single rose to a whole garden
for him, it gives a new purpose in his work; he’s working in order to get you whatever your pretty heart desires
he’s proud to use his hard-earned money to buy you things (rather than spending it all on wine <3 ily chuuya)
the easiest thing he can always get you is a favorite snack or drink and he’s got a whole system for it
he knows every store it’s available at and many of the clerks are familiar with him from the sheer amount of times he’s visited them to buy something for you. it never grows old for him, his favorite thing to do is buy you something on his way home from work or during the day when he’s planning to surprise you with a visit
he keeps a mental list of what your favorite things are. you’ll tell him about something you like without thinking anything of it but he’s already planned out when and how to give the item to you. it’s always on his mind what he’ll buy you each day, and it’s always worth it seeing you enjoy whatever he’s bought you
sometimes it’s as simple as a coffee and he’ll drop by your work to give it to you in person
“hanging in there, Angel? need a little pick-me-up?” he has the biggest smile on his face every time he sees you, and bringing a gift for you with him only adds to his excitement
“you spoil me, Chuuya,” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning further into him as he holds you in his arms.
“what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he responds, rubbing your back as you sigh.
receiving gifts from you is just as sweet. no one has ever given him as many gifts as he’s given others–which is fine with him–it’s not about what he’ll get in return and he knows that not everyone expresses their love the way he does
but he’s touched whenever you get him something. since giving gifts is so meaningful to him, it means even more that someone would go through the trouble to give something back to him
he’ll keep whatever you get him close to him at all times and smile every time he sees it or remembers it
once, you bought him a new chain for his hat and he hasn’t changed it since. it only made the hat more special to him now that it reflects two people that had changed his life
akutagawa ryunosuke - words of affirmation
“my love, you are worth it all.”
we all know how the boy responded to dazai’s praise or even simply just the words “dazai wants to talk to you”
to hear a person who has persisted through his stubborn, aggressive defense say they still love him causes him to start to soften for you
he’s been surrounded by harsh words and people who have exploited him and brushed him to the side whenever he wasn’t needed all his life, so it stirs his heart to hear someone notice things about him and who tells him that they want to stay with him
it’s something reserved for solitary moments just between the two of you for sure, but that makes the time all the more special because he can let down his guard and just be with you
his past has made it hard for him to believe he is worthy of anything other than the murderous skills he’s harnessed in order to get him to where he is in the Mafia, but you’ve shown him that there’s more to him than just how well he can use Rashomon
he never bothers to try and listen to what other people are saying but he always gives his full attention to anything you have to say
he doesn’t even like to hear compliments from anyone else, he doesn’t trust them at all but he trusts and believes anything you tell him, knowing you have the purest intentions of loving and supporting him
after a job, all he wants to do is go home. by the end of the day, he’s sick of everyone around him so on the rare occasion that you decide to visit him, he won’t even notice until you call out to him
he had just finished a job, it was successful, but it had gotten messy. Mori had already told him off and he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone else. he stormed past every piece of vermin that had decided to get in his way, their whispers just barely reaching his ears
“Ryu!” you called out from amongst them, waiting by a door.
“What?” he hadn’t meant to snap, especially when he realized it was you talking to him and his face immediately relaxed when he saw you.
“oh, [y/n].” he immediately started to make his way towards you, the pounding in his head slowly starting to disappear the closer
“I came to pick you up, I’m glad I had good timing,” you smiled, offering your hand.
he took it gently, giving it a soft squeeze, “I’m sorry I responded so rudely, I didn’t–”
“you’re okay, Ryu,” you placed your other hand on top of it, looking him straight in the eyes, keeping a loving smile on your face, “you don’t ever have to be sorry. you’re doing just fine. even better, actually. I’m so proud of all your work and I’m sure you’re tired after everything today. it looked busy.”
the words erased every memory of Mori’s scolding that his head had latched on to in order to beat himself down later on. he felt his cheeks warm a little as he looked away, “you’re too kind to me, [y/n].”
tries his best to also put into words his appreciation but it’s so hard for him to verbally say it; sometimes it comes out wrong
instead, he’s opted for notes most of the time, leaving them on your bedside or in your bag, telling you how thankful he is for you and that he loves you
suehiro tecchou - quality time
“on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” - mahmoud darwish
my boy is always so busy
as soon as he’s off work he just wants to be wherever you’re at
he’d doesn’t mind silence and doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with you
sometimes gets off work and if you’re not home yet just sneaks into your workplace to be around you
adores following you around and doesn’t always know exactly what you’re doing but he’s just happy to tag along
grocery store dates are some of his favorite moments with you
he loves everything about convenience stores
he loves food and the endless aisles of colorful packages and choices
(it gives him ideas for new food combinations <3)
once bought a himalayan salt shaker simply because
“look [y/n]! they make pink salt :0”
later put said pink salt on top of strawberry ice cream bc they were both pink
he also loves getting to look around the store all the while following you. he admires your organized grocery lists and how you’ve already planned out what you’re going to buy
once you tried to send him out to grab something in an area you’d already passed so that you could continue going down the list
“can you go grab some carrots for me, love? sorry, I forgot to pick them up when we were in the produce section.”
“of course 🙂” his heart is shattering inside of him at the thought of being separated from you.
“do you want to stay with me and we’ll go back later?” you ask, looking up at him with a knowing smile.
“yes pls”
groceries stores are not the only place you guys go tho i promise
if you’re still in school, he’ll accompany you on study dates 
never bothers you under any circumstances and if he is and you tell him he’ll stop right away
he could spend all day looking at your pretty face even if you never once looked at him <3
jouno saigiku - physical touch
“you kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry / the sun has come this close, only the sun” “GPS” - Shauan Barbosa
although he can’t see you, he knows your body by heart <3
he’s spent so much time tracing it over and over with his hands
i think his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work is flop onto you and just listen to your heartbeat. probably also intertwines one of his hands with yours, often runs other across your skin
loves when you touch him just as much
if he’s lying on top of you and you decide to run a hand through his hair, all of his problems have just melted away
you both have definitely fallen asleep like that countless times no matter what time of day it is
he’s always finding ways to be in close contact with you, making sure that you’re safe and near him
again, he loves loves loves to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it any chance he gets
will also settle for an arm around your shoulder though as long as you’re close to him
definitely the type to also rest his head on top of yours or on your shoulder every chance he gets
if he needs to fidget he won’t even play with his own fingers he’ll just play with yours
i think that with the loss of one sense, the other senses hold so much meaning for him
it’s easier and more meaningful for him to show his love and how much he trusts you through touch rather than just saying it out loud
comes up from behind you to hug you a lot, especially in the kitchen or when you’ve just come home he’s there immediately, hugging you to recharge
“how was your day, my love?”
you always relax in his arms, turning your head slightly to kiss his face which he’s let rest on your shoulder, “it was missing you.”
he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, “i’ll make it all up to you now, darling.”
there was one time that he let you do his hair
he’s never told you how much he enjoyed it; he didn’t even know what you had done to it, but being near your warmth is all he needs and can ask for <3
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paper-mario-wiki · 27 days
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i have been struggling to find it, you seem like you might know tho.
i think you may have reblogged it or maybe you've seen it but it's an actor redoing a photoshoot of an older actor wearing like a really thick and soft looking sweater and the modern photo's sweater is just depressingly thin and lame? do you know of any avenues I could use to look for one of those really thick soft knit sweaters?
you seem to be good at finding 'vintage' or otherwise good clothes so have you seen anything like this in your travels thank u
i think ive seen that, let me look it up for you.
i remember the specific context of the discourse around that post was highlighting the difference in quality between a genuine Aran sweater (super fancy special expensive irish heirloom knitting technique, thats as best as i can summarize off the top of my head), and a fast fashion sweater made of cheap bullshit materials warn by a stupid dumb- sorry i started thinking about how shit the modern fashion industry is my insults started pouring onto the dude in the picture whose name escapes me. i remember hes from parks and rec so i'll look up the IMDb for it. i dont remember his name but i remember his face and his bit. he was the really energetic neuvo-yuppy freak who was always doing weird fashion stuff, or so ive gathered from my limited knowledge of that show.
ben shwartz! so if i look up "ben shwartz aran sweater"
here ya go!
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actually looking at him he is kind of a doofus in that rinky dink thin ass bullshit nothing sweater. i dont think he IS one but he looks like one here, i feel.
anyway, this has been the process of finding that thing you wanted. thanks for stopping by.
oh wait i just reread the question, u were looking for how to buy old vintage stuff. uhhh ebay, vestiaire collective, and uhh. i mean if you'd be willing to just buy from an actual aran sweater company, which would be similarly spendy to buy a genuine vintage one in good condition, you can buy one made of recycled wool from an irish knittery called Sheep Inc, who display the carbon offset each individual product they produce creates.
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they could be secretly evil, i dont know because this is all information ive had to dust off from the back of my mind.
anyways, i hope that you have found something similar to what you were looking for.
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bsdawgz · 30 days
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「 ✦ 3 AM Thoughts ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Ryūnosuke Akutagawa
A/N: hiii shannon luv @4ngel-inc <3 i told u i was writing ab aku cuz of ur hc ... i couldn't stop thinking about him (*/_\) !
genre: gn!reader (yuhhh). MDNI! [18+ only] this is smut.
summary: akutagawa masturbates while thinking of you ;)
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Oh, god. He's not ... doing this again, right? It's embarrassing, honestly. He's sitting up in his bed, shrouded in shadow, nothing but the city light revealing the faint blush that's crept its way onto his cheeks as he traces your sweet lips in his mind, as he thinks back to the day's events and lets each fleeting interaction he had this with you this morning linger just a little longer than he should.
Your fingers brushed against his today when you settled the teacup in front of him. You might not have noticed, the way he retracted his hand so quickly, but it made him tremor slightly. It was a complete accident, he knows, but it sent him into a whirl nevertheless.
You and Akutagawa have been acquainted for awhile – you're far from intimate, but you're acquainted. You know him as Gin's older brother, and he ... he's had a crush on you for the longest time, but he doubts you've ever noticed.
For some unknown reason, he's captivated by you. Perhaps it's the way you never flinch at his temper, poking fun at it instead. Maybe it's how you see him for how he truly is, in a way that almost scares him. Or maybe it's something much simpler than that – the way you do your hair or your nails. Your vibrant laugh. Your warmth and how it soothes his emptiness. Who knows.
It's innocent thoughts tonight. That's what he insists. What it might be like to hold your hand in his, for example. Your hands must be warm; he felt its radiant heat for the brief second it touched his, or maybe he had just imagined it, and it was the steam of the teacup tickling his skin. Still, he'd like to think it was you; he'd like to picture those hands of yours smoothing along his slender waist, maybe as you'd hold him close the way he wishes he could hold you...
He'd like to picture those hands of yours caressing the protrusion of his cheekbone, brushing against it skin. He thinks of what it might feel like for you to run your thumb over his lips. He thinks of you running your hands through his hair, rearranging the strands of black and silver as you rake your fingers through his scalp. Then, for some reason, he thinks about what it might be like to have your fingernails scraping down his back, and he wonders what it might be like to fall on top of you.
His thoughts drift. He should be thinking about other things, he knows. He's wasting time again, he knows – and it makes him feel furious with himself. He should think about important things, like the infiltration strategy Chūya went over in today's meeting, but he's thinking about you instead.
Now, his hand is reaching for the covers, and he's lifting it up just to look as if he doesn't already know what he's going to see there.
He's hard, and it's pathetic.
Akutagawa hisses at the way his body betrays him. Can he not control his own sexual desires? He feels so pathetic –
But if this is what it takes, he'll just have to get it done and over with.
His hand reaches for the bottom of his shirt. He tugs it just slightly above his navel, inhaling quietly as the cold air hits him. Then, he closes his eyes and delicately traces the lean muscle of his abdomen, pretending it's your finger instead of his that's faintly dancing across his skin. It's gentle, the way he touches himself. It's the way he imagines you would do it, your touch soft and forgiving.
Then, he sighs softly, and he sinks deeper into the mattress. He trails his fingers lower, and he reaches for himself. This is the worst part of it... the most shameful part, he thinks. The part he can never bring himself to resist. His fingers wrap around his length through his boxers, and he finds himself pulsing with need. He lets out a muffled sound as his face flushes with heat. Then, slowly, he feels it through the fabric, picturing it's your hand and not his that's pleasuring him.
He'd like to think he's better than this. That he's not some horndog that needs to be relieved by fucking his own hand –
– But he wants it
He craves it.
He shuffles his boxers down his legs, then pulls the blanket up over his head. It's not like anyone can actually see him, but it's too embarrassing to be exposed, even in the dark. Then, he fists himself, grasping the shaft firmly in his hand with a grunt as he strokes himself faster.
It feels too good to touch himself like this – rougher and without restraint. His lips part in a sinful moan, and he quickly shoves his other hand against his mouth, forcing himself to be quiet. Shut up, he tells himself as he pants – he'll sound so stupid if he's loud.
His thoughts are full of you. Thoughts of filling you, more like it, as he jerks his hips toward his hand. He can picture it all in detail now – how gorgeous you'd look bouncing on top of him, your plush thighs holding him down, your dainty fingers tangled in his hair as you ride him. This time, he can't hold back as he groans softly, gasping as he chases after his imagination frantically, wishing he was fucking you instead of his hand – just a little closer and he's there.
And he knows better than to cum on his own stomach. He does – really. He should know better, at least. But it'll ruin it if he stops right now –
– so, he gets on his stomach anyway, rolling his hips against the mattress, rutting desperately against the blanket.
And he feels so pathetic, knowing he's better than this.
But it's 3 AM.
You're on his mind again.
All he can do is close his eyes and pretend he's fucking you instead of his own hand.
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© BSDAWGZ 2024. Do not steal or repost ANY of my works! That’s plagiarism, and it’s mean. :(( Beautiful dividers by @ v6que~!
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psychic-pigeons · 18 days
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hey if you write a pattern for the chilchuck amigurumi I will buy it instantly
ive gotten multiple asks about this, so ill just answer them all here in one go.
i wrote down everything while i was working on it, but i theres some stuff that i would do diffrently and i also didnt take a lot of process pics so it wont be a full proper pattern for those reasons, but ill add all that i have under the cut!
i dont want any compensation, but if you wanna do me a favor you can donate to esims for gaza, unrwa, any of these gefundme's, or another trusted charity of your choice.
now to the pattern! i would love to see the results of anyone making a squeakychuck, feel free to tag or dm me :)
the dimensions of this depend on the size of ur squeaker and yarn, i had a 4ish cm squeaker and somewhat thick 4/8 cotton yarn (kinda 6/8ish thickness). depending on ur yarn and squeaker u might need to follow a different pattern for the body.
if youre using a different body base pattern, the tunic and blouse pattern are pretty easily adjustable. ill add some notes for that at those sections of the pattern. ill also link some videos i used at relevant sections.
if theres an Action store near where u live, see pic below for the yarn i used for the skin, reddish brown, black and light brown. i got 3 of these but 2 packs was enough. the dark brown and creme were from my stash. i also got the squeaker from a donut dog toy from Action.
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abreviations list (all in us terms):
mr = magic ring
sc = single crochet
hdc = half dubble crochet
slst = slipstitch
ch = chain
BLO = back loop only
bobble = 5 double crochet in one stitch
4inc = 4 sc in one
4 inc = increase in the next four stitches
FLO = front loop only
what you need:
-skin color of choice yarn
-creme/white yarn (normal for body, thin for blouse)
-greyish creme (for boot flaps)
-black yarn
-dark brown yarn
-light brown yarn
-reddish brown yarn
-green yarn
-4 tiny buttons (for arm joints)
-cardboard (for shoe sole
-3.5mm hook
-squeaker
-needlefelt needle
-stuffing
-stitchmarker (optional, i always mark the first stitch of the round)
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once again disclaimer, this is not a propper pattern, this is just what i wrote down while i was crochetting. it may not nessecarily be the best way to do it. i wanted most clothes to be removable, but you have to partially disassemble the doll if you want to remove them. if you dont like how something looks or works ur free to do whatever you want. big fan of fucking around and finding out personally.
if you have any questions feel free to dm me, might take me a while to reply though.
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SQUEAKY CHUCK PATTERN 3.5mm hook
head (skin)
r1: sc 6 in mr
r2: (inc) x6
r3: (sc 1, inc) x6
r4: (sc 2, inc) x6
r5: (sc3, inc) x6
r6: (sc4, inc) x6
r7: (sc 5, inc) x6
r8-15 : sc 42
r16: (sc 5, dec) x6
r17: (sc 4, dec) x6
r18: (sc3, dec) x6
r19: (sc2, dec) x6
r20: (sc 1, dec) x6
r21: sc 12
slst, fasten off
ears x2 (skin)
r1: sc6 in mc
r2: (inc) x6
r3: (sc, inc) x6
r4-6: sc 18
r7: dec 9. slst fatsen off.
Body - leg up (skin, black, thick creme)
start with skin
r1: ch 6, inc in 2nd from hook, sc 3, 4inc, sc 3, inc
r2: inc 2, sc 3, inc 4, sc 3, inc 2
r3: inc 3, sc 5, inc 6, sc 5, inc 3
r4: BLO sc in all
r5: sc 3, dec 2, sc 3, dec 2, sc 6, dec 2, sc 3, dec 2, sc 3
r6: sc 1, dec, sc 4, dec 6, sc 4, dec, sc 1.
r7: sc 6, dec 3, sc 6
stuff
-r8 dec, sc in all
change color to black [color change video]
r9-23: sc in all
1st leg: fasten off
2nd leg [joining legs video]:
r24: sc7, ch 1, sc join in 1st leg after last sc, sc13, sc1 in visible v loop of ch1, sc 7
r25: sc7, sc 1 in remaining v loop of ch1, sc21
r26-31: sc 28
r32: sc 7, change color to creme/white, slst 1, sc 20
r33-35: sc 29
r36: (sc 8, dec) x3
r37: (sc7, dec) x3
r38: (sc6, dec)x3
add squeaker
r39: sc21
r40: (sc 5, dec) x3
r41-42: sc18
r43: (sc 1, dec) x6
fasten off
Arms (skin, dark brown)
i made the arms movable with button joints, but after looking at some videos i discovered that what i did is not called a button joint and i dont have a video explaining it, so i hope this drawing helps.
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the red bits are the buttons inside of the arms and body, and the thread (blue for clarity, i matched it w the skin) should be pulled tight and finished off with a double or tripple knot inside the body.
or you could just sew on the arms that also works. but wait with doing that until youve finished the blouse as the hands dont fit through the sleeves. i have a seperate section on assembly at the end of the pattern.
start with skin
r1:sc6 in mc
r2: inc x6
r3(sc, inc)x6
r4 : sc 18
change color to brown
r5: sc 18
1st arm r6: sc 3, bobble, sc 14.
2nd arm r6.2: sc 14, boble, sc 3
[i matched the top loop to the bobble color but i think it would look better if u didnt]
r7: sc 18
r8: (sc 4, dec)x3
r9: (sc 3, dec)x3
r10 sc12
color switch to skin (you might want to do this a round earlier, i didnt initially plan on making the gloves flared, and this color change part can sometimes be seen and look kinda weird)
r11-14: sc 12
r15: (sc4, dec)x2
r16-19 : sc 10
r20: (sc3, dec)x2
r21: sc8
insert button joint
r28: (sc2, dec)x2
slst, sew shut
glove flare (dark brown)
r1: ch 15, slst join LONG TAIL
r2: (sc4, inc)x3
r3: sc4, inc, sc8, inc, sc 4
r4: sc 2, slst fasten off
sew 2 rows below thumb bobble
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boots (light brown, dark brown, greyish creme) [video]
these are removable but they dont go on easily, so you gotta patiently massage the feet in there.
start with light brown
ch 7, start in 2nd from hook:
r1: sc 5, 3inc, sc 4, inc
r2: inc, sc 4, inc 3, sc 4, inc 2
r3: inc, sc 5, hdc inc 7, sc 5, inc 2
r4: slst fasten off. sew in holes/tails, fray ends for flat gluejob. trace onto cardboard for sole.
switch color to dark brown
r1: BLO join slst, BLO sc in all
r2-3: sc in all
glue in sole
r4: sc 8, dec 5, sc 12
r5: sc 7, dec 4, sc 10
r6: sc7, dec2, sc 10
r7-10: sc in all
switch color to greyish creme
r11-12: sc in all
r13: slst, FLO sc in all
r14-16: sc all
slst fasten off
flip the greyish creme flap over.
blouse (thinner creme)
this is a standard raglan pattern, if you need the whole thing bigger/smaller you need to have more/less chains at the beginning. this change also carries over to the collar. the increases are evenly spaced for me, and unless your doll has a very broad chest this shouldnt have to change.
if the arms need more space you need to either add more rows to the r3-7 part and/or add more chains in r8 (this part should fit pretty sugg around the body)
i was experimenting a bit w using BLO to minimize the gap where the sleeve and body seperate (r8). it worked p good but you can ignore it if you dont understand it and just sc in all.
(edit: if this confuses you, understandable. I answered an ask abt it here but feel free to ask if its still unclear)
r1: ch24, slst join.
r2: (sc 5, inc) x4
r3-7: inc in first of previous inc. last row should have 10 sc between increases.
r8: sc5, blo sc 1, ch 5, blo sc join in 1st of next inc, sc 11, blo sc1, ch5, blo sc join in 1st st of next inc, sc 5
r9: sc6, blo sc 1, sc 5, blo sc1, sc11, blo sc 1, sc 5, blo sc 1, sc 6
r10-13: sc in all (36)
r14: (sc8, inc)x4
r15: sc in all (40)
slst finish off
Sleeve
r1: join mid armpit, slst ,sc2, sc in the leftover bits from the BLO stitches, sc 11, sc in leftover BLO bits, sc2
r2-6: sc in all
collar
join left-middle front, sc 7, inc, sc8, inc, sc 7. turn
r2: sc7, inc, sc 10, inc, sc 7. turn
r3: sc8, inc, sc 10, inc, sc 8. turn
cuffs
r1: join mid body-facing side, FLO sc 20
r2-4: sc 20, slst fatsen off
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Tunic (red brown) [tunesian entrelac crochet]
if you want to make this bigger i recommend keeping the same square layout, but making the squares bigger. its a bit of measuring and math to figure it out.
the tunic is made in tunesian crochet and i dont really know what written patterns for that look like so i hope this makes sense.
for a single square:
r1: ch4, start in 2nd back bump from hook. pull up a loop from ever back bump. you should have 4 loops on your hook total. simplestitch in all
r2-4: simplestitch in all.
r5: slst in all. fasten off
for the slanted parts i did the decrease by pulling through the middle 2 loops in one go on the back pass
this is how the full thing should look, its worked from bottom left to top right.
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sew together the shoulders together, then sew in all of the ends
:) good luck
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tunesian crochet has a tendancy to curl, so if you used cotton i def recommend blocking it
i defined the grid a little bit with a dark brown pencil.
cowl (green)
BLO sc 7, repeat till desired lenght, then BLO slst join the last row to the first.
scalp undercut bit (dark brown)
r1: sc 6 in mr
r2: (inc) x6
r3: (sc 1, inc) x6
r4: (sc 2, inc) x6
r5: (sc3, inc) x6
r6: (sc 4, inc)x6
r7: sc36
sew on back of the head (recommend doing this before the ears and face, see end for more detailed assembly instructions)
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hair (reddish brown) [hair video]
disclaimer, this is kind of a mess. the lenghts didnt line up the way i intended so i improvised by adding loose strands and spent a lot of time pinning every strand in place before glueing them down.
i used bison kit contact glue since its sturdy, transparant, flexible and waterproof. you can use hot glue as well, i just personally dont like it because its bulky.
r1: sc 21 in mc. join BLO slst
r2: ch 12, sc in 2nd from hook, gdc10, BLO slst join
r3: ch 12, sc in 2nd from hook, gdc10, BLO slst join
r4: ch13, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 11, BLO slst join
r5: ch13, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 11, BLO slst join
r6: ch 14, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 12, BLO slst join
r7: ch16, sc in 2nd form hook, hdc 14, BLO slst join
r8: ch 18, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 16, BLO slst join
r9: ch 18, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 16, BLO slst join
r10: ch 14, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 12, BLO slst join
r11: ch 12, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 10, BLO slst join
r12: ch 10, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 8, BLO slst join
from now on, join in the FLO's of previous round
r13: ch10, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 8, FLO slst join
r14: ch10, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 8 , FLO slst join
r15: ch12, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 10 , FLO slst join
r16: ch12, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 10 , FLO slst join
r17: ch14, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 12 , FLO slst join
r18: ch16, sc in 2nd form hook, hdc 14, FLO slst join
r19: ch 18, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 16, FLO slst join
r20: ch16, sc in 2nd form hook, hdc 14, FLO slst join
r21: ch14, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 12 , FLO slst join
1x ch 6, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 4
2x ch8, sc in 2nd from hook, hdc 6
2x ch 10, sc in 2nd from chain, hdc 8, slst in same, fasten off.
2x ch 12, sc in 2nd from chain, hdc 10, slst in same, fasten off.
3x ch14
pin all in place until it looks good, tie +glue loose strands first. then glue back pieces, crown, and lastly bangs/ top back layer. some of the lose strands go behind the ears, one is the left sideburn, and the rest is to cover up the crown. these pics are the best i can do as a guide, this was my first time doing this so i was struggling lol.
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i didnt fully glue down the bangs and the top back layer bc i thought it would be fun if u could ruffle his hair, but my friend who i gave the plush to has significantly abused him (its been 2 days) and his hair is a mess so im gonna have to glue it down again lol. might as well do it all the first time if u plan on throwing him down the stairs or something.
Face
for eyes + eyebrows, embroider outline with dark brown, then needle felt [video] the inner parts w unraveled dark brown fluff. the dark brown i used was probably acrylic. cotton doesnt really work well for this.
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Belt and pouch (dark brown)
the belt is a 3 strand basic friendship bracelet! [video]
sew together the ends and hide it with by sewing the pouch on top.
i didnt write down the pattern for the pouch, but from the top of my head its the same start as the squares for the tunic
r1-9: simple stitch in all
r10: simple stitch 1, decrease by putting your hook through 2 vertical bars when pulling up a loop, simple stitch edge 1.
r11: slst in all, finish with a long tail
use tail to sew together the sides, and sew the pouch onto the belt. use some yellow thread to make a button.
ASSEMBLY.
put on the blouse, put the arms in their place and finish the button joints.
put on the tunic, lace the sides with dark brown yarn, finish with a knot and hide the tails underneath the chest part of the tunic.
slide on the belt and boots.
sew the scalp undercut bit to the head
sew the ears to the head
tie + glue the loose hair strands behind the ears
glue the back of the hair
glue the back of the hair
glue the middle circle part of the hair
glue the top back layer and bangs
sew the head to the body
put on the cowl
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i hope this is somewhat clear, feel free to dm me is you have questions.
enjoy your squeakychuck :D
199 notes · View notes
ugh-yoongi · 11 months
Text
about u | jjk
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❝ this song is about a love that you can’t reconcile—wanting to make a home out of a person that has proved to you time and again that they are not a home; they are just a person. it’s about retracing scars, negative patterns, all with the silent belief that moments of communion and understanding might justify months of misfiring and regret. we’re all just trying to get back to that ‘first high’ feeling—an honest endeavor, however futile. ❞
✤ PAIRING jungkook x f. reader ✤ GENRE exes to fwb to strangers, college/grad school au; angst, smut ✤ RATING explicit. minors do not interact. ✤ WARNINGS toxic & self-destructive behavior (inc. jealousy and possessiveness). infidelity (with an external partner). reader is bisexual (which is not a warning but a general statement so the homophobes stay away) and there is a brief mention of coming out. two people who are both too honest and unable to communicate. swearing. cigarettes and alcohol use. kissing, some spitting, fingering, oral sex, protected vaginal sex. every time i asked jess to read this over for me she always came back with "jfc jewel" so i guess this is angsty. unhappy ending. ✤ WORDCOUNT 7.3k ✤ LISTEN TO this was based off of "winterbreak" by muna, but there are bits and pieces of the entire about u album in here, "everything" and "outro" especially. ✤ THANK YOU to muna for writing the album, @the-boy-meets-evil and @hot-soop for reading over this for me multiple times and putting up with all my brainstorming and my beloved @here2bbtstrash for the extra set of eyes. ✤ AUTHOR'S NOTE hi, thank you for reading! i cannot emphasize enough how much more sense this story will make if you listen to about u in the background. i would also like to reiterate that these two are maybe not all that likeable most of the time, but i hope they're still human. as i once saw in an ao3 tag, you are more than the worst thing you've ever done.
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[ the first. ] You’d read an article once—something about the second time you fall in love.
It’s going to feel different, it’d said. The first time felt like a dream.
As you stare across the kitchen at Jeongguk, you think that might be true. The part about it feeling like a dream, because it used to be a pinky-lavender haze and everything that has come after hasn’t felt so good. Not a nightmare, but close. At least with nightmares you can force yourself awake. You can tell yourself it wasn’t real. You can pretend.
This is as real as it gets, watching him smile over the rim of a plastic red cup. Someone else’s hand on his arm. The girl it belongs to looks nothing like you, and you wonder if she’ll be the second time he falls in love. You also wonder why you didn’t stay home. You wonder about fault and regret and if either of them even matter. No, you eventually decide: there’s just you in Taehyung’s kitchen and Jeongguk on the other side of it and the result of a million decisions in between you.
There had been a plenitude of reasons you’d fallen in love with Jeongguk, but he’s undoubtedly beautiful. Soft, tinkling laugh; a smile that reaches his eyes. Not all that long ago you used to be responsible for both, so there’s a lingering, bitter sting beneath your wonder. Jeongguk is beautiful and no longer yours, and that’s enough to have you retreating to the living room.
Jimin’s at your side immediately. Wraps an arm around your shoulders and presses a kiss to the top of your head that does little to alleviate your guilt. Missing someone is always easier with thousands of miles in between you. All those distractions. Just like a nightmare, distance lets you pretend. Not so easy to do when all those ghosts come back to haunt you; when you can still hear Jeongguk’s soft voice in the kitchen. The music is so loud but you’d be able to hear him anywhere, you think.
Even places he’s not.
Jimin leans down, forces his way into your personal space. “Are you doing okay?” he asks, and his words are warm and wrapped in alcohol, but you nod. You’re scared you might start crying if you open your mouth. Afraid of what might come out besides shuddering breaths, which just makes you feel stupid. Baby’s first breakup, you chide yourself. Maybe Jimin can get you a commemorative ornament.
Taehyung is turning twenty-four and it should be joyous. It is joyous. People that aren’t you are laughing and dancing and pressing their cheeks together as they huddle close to take selfies. Someone you don’t recognize is cackling wildly as they wrangle Taehyung into a headlock and smear cake frosting on his face. Someone else is tutting and running a rag under the tap to wipe it off and then the frosting is gone. It’s hard not to draw parallels.
There one minute and gone the next.
Gently wiped away.
But the feeling lingers, doesn’t it? The tack of the frosting, all the love that transpired between you and Jeongguk. Sometimes you fear it’s permanent—not able to be wiped away with a rag run under the tap, not able to be wiped away at all. Just this burden you’re cursed to carry, because Jeongguk isn’t and can’t be yours but knowing does nothing to erase the past. Doesn’t help you forget. It’s fucked and it’s unfair, but that’s just the way it goes.
“I think I should leave,” you say, watching another scene play out in the kitchen. Jeongguk fills a cup and hands it to a different pretty girl. Everyone here is so pretty. Makes sense; so is Taehyung. Pretty people are drawn to one another like that. “Is it too soon? Will it be obvious?”
Jimin sighs, wraps you in a hug. Says, “Oh, love,” in a way that’s too sympathetic. Makes you sound too pathetic. “No one will blame you. These things are hard.”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Not that you don’t appreciate Jimin’s reassurance, but sometimes it all feels a bit silly. Weren’t you the one to walk away? Call it off? Are you allowed to mourn the very thing you destroyed?
And Jimin, bless him, is so patient with you. Asks if you need a ride home and you wave him off, remind him your parents’ place isn’t far, that the cold might do you some good. You tell him you appreciate him and his night shouldn’t be ruined on your account, and you just laugh when he tries to protest, tell him to go get himself another drink.
“Text me when you get home,” he says, voice stern, and you brush that off, too. “I’m serious. It’s late and it’s dark and anyone could be out there—”
“Maybe I should walk you home, then?”
All those articles you read about the second time you fall in love didn’t mention this. Said nothing about the way a voice will always be able to turn your world on its axis and how to right it again. Said nothing about how to coexist with ghosts. Said nothing about what to do with all the yearning and the pain and the stupid, selfish strands of hope. There are paragraphs about an overarching, general grief, but nothing about the specific one living inside of you.
The shock on Jimin’s face is reflecting your own. It’s nice to not be the only one caught off-guard and stammering over their words. It’s nice to have a friend when it feels like your entire world is on the edge of collapse. “I don’t…” he begins. Swallows thickly and turns to look at you, an obvious question biting at the back of his teeth.
You know the answer.
You know that what you should say isn’t what you want, just like you know it isn’t fair, this thing you’re doing. Because you turn to Jeongguk and say, “Are you sure?” which might as well be a yes, because you’re selfish and suspended in this liminal space and don’t want him to go home with anyone else. You don’t want him to move on.
He shrugs. “It’s on the way.”
You say okay. Let Jimin help you into your coat, hide his face in your neck as he tells you to be careful, and that stings. You’ve never had to be careful around Jeongguk before. The two of you never, ever hurt one another—until you did. The kind of hurt your heart hasn’t easily forgotten, is still stubbornly clinging to.
Your heart wants Jeongguk, always.
You want Jeongguk, always, so you let him grab your hand, link your pinkies together. You let him lead you out of the house and don’t turn back to see who might be watching. God, you want to, though. Want all those pretty girls to see that he’s leaving with you. Want them to know it’s your name that’s branded on his heart; your name beneath his skin. For once, you want someone to want what you have.
It’s strange. The two of you have been apart for eight months, and there’s a lot of things you might want to tell someone in that amount of time, but you find it hard now. Don’t know where to start, which words to use. Don’t want to say something stupid, because Jeongguk is just walking you home but you’ve assigned a lot of meaning to it, and eight months is a long time to yearn for something and finally get it.
So you say, “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” because it’s something that’s true and easy to say.
Jeongguk doesn’t answer right away. Drops your pinky so he can hold your hand properly—fully, all five fingers intertwined—and squeezes. “Is it weird for you?” he asks, and he doesn’t sound nervous. Almost sounds like he’s smiling a little, giving you shit. He sounds familiar.
“No. I don’t know. Maybe a little.” He asks why? at the same time he passes under a streetlight. Lights up golden and amber. He’s beautiful—“I don’t know. It’s just… I guess it’s just been a long time. We didn’t leave things the best.”—and no longer yours.
The Jeongguk walking beside you is not the same Jeongguk that walked out of your dorm eight months ago, tears staining his cheeks, the smell of a goodbye fuck still clinging to his clothes, his skin, sweat still dotting his hairline. This Jeongguk is sharper, more selfish with his laughter, and you wonder about all the ways heartbreak can change a person. How you’re changed for facilitating it. You wonder if Jeongguk blames you before deciding you’re too much of a coward to find out the answer.
“Was it that bad?” When you look over at him, he’s chewing on his lip ring, trying to bite back a smile. “You’ll have to remind me. I don’t remember.”
You stop walking, jerking forward when Jeongguk is left unaware and keeps going. “That’s not funny,” you say. “Jeongguk, that’s not—I did what I thought was best, okay? I thought I was doing the right thing—”
The smile drops from Jeongguk’s face. “Hey, hey, look at me,” he says, and he’s hesitant to reach out and touch you but he does it anyway. Cups your face in both hands. “I know, it’s okay. That’s just—it’s just life, right? You did what you had to do, babe. It’s okay.”
You did what you had to do, babe.
Did you?
Jeongguk is selfish with his laughter but never his affection, and knowing that feels like an albatross around your neck. You have broken him so entirely, but he’s still kind to you, finds it a worthwhile thing to be.
His eyes go to your lips. Tattooed fingers dimple your face just a little more, dig in deeper. When you dare to take him in, he looks… different. No longer amused, the way he was just seconds ago; now, there’s something dark there. Longing, anger, hunger. Jeongguk looks like he wants to swallow you whole and make you suffer; looks like he wants to cage you beneath him and worship you through the comedown.
I’d let him, you think as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. As you smell the smoke that lingers, the sweat and the alcohol. I’d still let him.
It’d be so easy to press a kiss there. To feel his skin beneath your lips: flushed, still warm from the party, not all daunted by the bitter winter wind biting at your cheeks. As you lean in further, you wonder if it’ll taste the same. You wonder how much can change in eight months and if all those old comforts change, too. If it’s something inevitable.
Jeongguk moves his hands to your waist. Crawls his fingertips beneath your jacket and finds bare skin. Sucks in the smallest bit of air, and you would’ve missed it had it been any other time, but winter is always quiet and subdued. Always smells transitional, something dangerously close to hope and redemption.
And eight months is a long time to miss the feel of someone’s lips, isn’t it, so you think you can be excused for reaching for something you thought you’d never have again.
The first kiss is hesitant, testing; pressed to the spot just beneath his ear. Maybe you don’t know this Jeongguk, but you know the version of him you used to love—the one you still do—and you know the way he’ll sigh. You know the way his hands will grip tighter. You can still hear it, the way you used to kiss him there and he’d say, don’t start something you can’t finish, baby, and the way you’d laugh and always, always finish it. Can still feel the warmth that used to bloom in your chest. The love.
Jeongguk won’t say that now, you know. Wonder if it’d sound more like don’t start something you already finished if he did. He huffs a small laugh, more an exhale than anything, and asks, “What are you doing?”
And you answer, “I don’t know,” because it’s honest. You admit, “I guess I just miss you,” because it’s true.
A war wages within Jeongguk. You can see the storms, the white flags that are close to being thrown out. Can see the way his gaze flits between your lips and your eyes. What he’s looking for, you don’t know, but the storm rages on. And just like real life, just when you think it’s at its worst, there’s a break in the clouds: a tangible beam of silvery-warm light when Jeongguk tangles his hands in your hair, thumbs at the hinge of your jaw. Jeongguk tilts your head back and looks ethereal in the amber glow of the streetlights.
He says, “We shouldn’t,” and you nod, because you know and the anguish on his face is surely mirrored on yours, but when he follows it with, “let me take you home, let me take care of you,” you find it impossible to care.
You nod.
Everything is amber.
Eight months is a long time to go without the way Jeongguk kisses you: intentionally, demandingly, insatiably. He still tastes the same. Tastes like the first time you’d ever dared to kiss him, back at that party freshman year, tongue flavored with cheap liquor. Jeongguk tastes forbidden and feels like coming home.
You couldn’t say how you make it to Jeongguk’s apartment, but the way you stumble over the threshold feels familiar. The way the door is barely locked when Jeongguk crowds your space; picks you up, wraps your legs around his waist, presses you against it, hips moving on their own accord, rutting, all those little sounds spilling from his lips—everything is familiar. This is not just a practiced song and dance but something memorized. Something instinctual. You could be apart from Jeongguk for years instead of months and your body would still know what to do.
He carries you to his bedroom and you don’t think about who else has been between his sheets, because he puts you down so gently. Kisses your lips, your jaw, your neck—all gentle, powder-soft. Sounds like spring when you paw at the velvety cashmere of his sweater, pull it over his head, and he sighs. Feels like he’s breathing fresh life into something he shouldn’t, something long dead, but then you skim along his warm skin and your world is reduced to the way it feels like silk beneath your fingertips.
“I still love you,” Jeongguk whispers against your mouth, his inked fingers toying with the button on your jeans. Pops it open, pulls the denim down your thighs. Doesn’t bother pulling them off, only goes as far as your knees. And it’s uncomfortable, the way it’s bunched there, but the way Jeongguk says, “Fuck, missed you so much,” is so sweet.
Everything happens too fast.
Jeongguk leaves your shirt on. Drags it up and over your breasts and kisses at the newly-exposed skin. Sinks his teeth in, lets it hurt for a second before he laves over the marks. Settles between your legs and coaxes an orgasm out of you with his mouth and his fingers. Speaks his praise into the juncture of your thigh, breathless as he touches himself, strokes his cock with the wetness lingering on his fingers. Looks so, so pretty when he sits back on his haunches and says, “Just wanna look at you,” and makes it sound wistful and longing.
Makes it sound like it means something.
He’s still touching himself, still slicking himself up. There’s a split second where he goes to move and thinks better of it. Looks to the side before looking back at you. The storm kicks up again. “Have—” he begins before he swallows thickly. Dares to look hopeful, even through the squall. “Have you been with anyone else? Since…?”
You haven’t. Tried to, once—another stupid party, more cheap liquor passed to your mouth from someone else’s, but it hadn’t gone anywhere. They hadn’t tasted like Jeongguk; hadn’t felt the same. Two puzzle pieces that fit together all wrong.
Jeongguk has, though. Something you’d heard from a friend of a friend that you weren’t meant to. They’d called it a rebound, and it had bloomed so many ugly thoughts in your head. Five months had passed. Jeongguk was fucking someone else in his bed while you were in yours, torturing yourself over whether or not to tell him happy birthday. Whether it was allowed to or not, it’d stung.
(You had. You’d reworded the text a million times, plucked up all the courage you could find before you sent it. It’d gone unanswered, just like you expected it would, and you thought it was because Jeongguk didn’t want to talk to you. Thought you were digging your fingers into wounds that had yet to heal, so it’d stung but you understood.
But Jeongguk hadn’t answered because he was fucking someone else. Had someone else’s taste on his tongue; was panting someone else’s name into the dark. The embarrassment had been the worst part.)
Still does, if you’re being honest with yourself, so you lie. “I—yeah,” you answer. “Just one.”
Looks like it stings Jeongguk, too. “Right,” he responds, blinking back tears, and he’s got a lot of nerve, you think. “Yeah, okay, I’ll just—a condom. Are you…”
“Jeongguk—”
“Are you sure? Maybe this isn’t…” He huffs. Drops the condom on the bed, hangs his head. “What are we doing?”
You stare up at the ceiling. Nothing up there but the swirls in the plaster. “I don’t know,” you admit. “Hurting each other, probably.”
Jeongguk walks his fingers down your thigh. Grips at your skin, wants it to bruise. Wants you to have something to remember him by come morning. “Sometimes I’m really mad at you, you know?”
“Yeah, trust me, I know.”
He nods. Refuses to look you in the eye now that you’re watching him. “I still love you so fucking much and I’m still so angry. What am I supposed to do with that? What am I… fuck, I thought I was over it. I thought I’d see you and not feel a fucking thing.” There’s fresh ink on the back of his left hand. You hadn’t noticed it earlier, but you notice it now, when he runs his hands down his face.
You also notice the way the atmosphere shifts, the split second in which his heartache bleeds into something else—resolve, maybe. Obstinacy. Like he knows how this is going to end and he’s going to do it anyway. He’s going to find the most painful part and press on it, dig his fingers in, and it’s just an inevitable, foregone thing. Something he can prevent and something he’s choosing not to.
“You fucked someone else,” he sneers. Rips the foil open with his teeth, flashing too white in the dark of his bedroom. Rolls the condom on like it’s an inconvenience. Like you’re an inconvenience. “Was it good? Was it worth it?”
You roll your eyes. Feel the way your breath catches in your throat, because you’re not going to cry. Jeongguk fucked someone else and is vilifying you and it’s hypocritical and ugly and unfair, but you’re not going to cry over it. You’re going to press the gas pedal as far as it can go, say, “Yeah, it was,” and find some wicked delight in the way his eyes squeeze shut, as if it can spare him from the pain.
The two of you used to love each other. Jeongguk used to smile down at you when you were naked beneath him like this. Used to lean in close and whisper that he loved you just as he pushed inside even though you knew, you could feel it in everything he did. Now, there’s no smile. Now, he leans down and spits on your pussy and pushes inside and doesn’t tell you a goddamn thing.
Not with words, anyway.
Because the way he fucks you says it all. Impersonal, desperate, bitter. He grips your hips and fucks into you frenzied and fast. Takes your hand and puts it on your clit and tells you to get yourself off. An inconvenience. Tells you he misses your tight cunt, tells you he misses the way it milks his cock, tells you he misses watching the way you come undone underneath him, but he doesn’t tell you he misses you.
There’s a moment, just after he spills into the condom and stays inside, just catching his breath, when you think he might say it. Might tell you he loves you around the lump in his throat, might apologize, might ask if you two can’t figure it out.
There’s only a moment.
Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. Lets the moment pass. Pulls out and ties off the condom and wordlessly gets up to throw it away. It’s the silence that pisses you off. The disregard. Jeongguk hates you for something you’d lied about doing that he’d done for real, so you can be wordless, too. You can treat him like an inconvenient, cheap fuck, too. You can get up and find your clothes and pull them on and let him watch, words biting at the back of his teeth, and you can tell yourself to feel nothing.
You can say, “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve,” and not shy away from the resentment in your voice, because it’s properly placed. “You fucked someone else, too, so you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, Jeongguk.”
Eight months is a long time to miss someone, to play at daydreams. To think of all the things you want to say, the things you’ll do. In not one of them did you think about this: you, fully dressed and stinking of sex, saying, “It’s late. I’ll show myself out.”
Jeongguk, tears glistening on his cheeks, saying, “No, let me—baby, I’m sorry, please—I’ll drive you.”
A shake of your head. Jeongguk doesn’t push it.
Roll credits.
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[ the second. ] Jimin wants to talk your ear off about it—the girl you’re seeing.
It’s new and there isn’t much to say. You tell him the two of you met at one of the student showcases put on by the art department and leave off the part about all of Jeongguk’s old friends being there, that he would’ve participated, too, if he hadn’t dropped out after you broke his heart. Leave off the part where you would’ve been there to support him instead, in another life. Leave off the part where it’d just been morbid curiosity: you, not an art student, wandering those halls to see if Jeongguk’s photographs were still framed on the wall.
“Is she nice?” Jimin asks, head nearly knocking into yours as someone shoves by him. “Fucking asshole.”
You nod. “Why would I date someone that wasn’t nice?”
Jimin, perpetually unbothered until he decidedly isn’t, sends you a look that he hides behind the rim of his cup. “Because you’re in your self-destruction era and aren’t thinking clearly.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said. You know I’m happy if you’re happy, but…” He pauses as he trails off. Tries to wrap his words in something delicate. “It’s pretty clear you still aren’t over it. That’s all.”
You snort. “That’s all?” you repeat, like it’s some small thing. Like it’s normal and fine.
“I’m sure it’s easier to pretend when the two of you are thousands of miles apart,” Jimin amends, and he must see how you bristle, stung by the callout, because his eyes soften. “Tell me about her.”
She’s beautiful and kind and smart. Smokes clove cigarettes and the smell is always clinging to her skin. You know how to make her come but don’t know what she’s majoring in—fashion, you think, because she’s always holding fabric swatches against your skin. Tells you what suits you and what doesn’t. Tells you which textures don’t work, what’s too warm, and she doesn’t need to tell you what’s too cold because you already know it’s you.
She’s beautiful and kind and smart and has no idea you’re still in love with someone else.
But you can’t tell Jimin that, can you? Can’t tell him about how she’d dragged you to a private corner in the gallery and kissed you breathless; the way she made you come on her fingers; the way Jeongguk’s name nearly slipped out of your mouth as you shook. Can’t tell him that she’s got arms full of art. Delicate patchwork; nothing like the harsh, bold colors inked into Jeongguk’s skin, but it feels the same to trace the lines.
You can’t tell him much of anything, so what you settle on is, “She’s nice—good for me,” and it doesn’t sound convincing to either of you.
Jimin doesn’t call you on it, though. Not again. Instead, he keeps his gaze steady, staring into the fire, the flames dancing wildly when you meet his eye. “You need to be careful,” he says. “You’re going to hurt her, too. Maybe worse than you hurt him.”
“Jimin—”
“Just be careful,” he reiterates, and all you can do is nod. What else is there to do besides wait for the inevitable crash and burn?
And it’s a little unfair, you think, that Taehyung grows older every single year. A little unfair that guilt won’t let you decline the invitations. A little unfair that you can still pick Jeongguk’s laughter out of a crowd. A little unfair that these hometown friends-turned-acquaintances still throw sideways glances whenever someone else touches him, as if he still has someone to answer to; as if they’re expecting something.
An hour. You’ve survived an hour longer than you did last year, and it’s not much but you’re still proud of yourself. You’ve had a drink, talked to someone other than Jimin. Managed to ignore the way Jeongguk is ignoring you; the way he immediately leaves a room as soon as you enter.  Maybe it’s better like this, you reckon. Maybe it’s what you need.
An hour is long enough. Jimin doesn’t comment on the way your bones crack when you stand to leave. No one needs a reminder of growing older. He doesn’t ask if you’ll be okay, either; if you need a ride home. Instead, he stays quiet as he studies you, clearly wondering if lightning strikes twice. If you’re going to be able to walk past Jeongguk and out the door without making another mistake.
You can at least make it across Taehyung’s sprawling yard and to the house. You can dodge the sweat-slick bodies and the girls sitting in laps. You can toss your empty cup in an overflowing trash can. You can pretend the eyes on your back are well-intentioned.
You can make it to the bathroom.
Annoying, the way your phone has been vibrating all night only to disappoint you. Irrational. You scroll past the emoji-laden messages, the coy flirting, because they’re from the person you’re actually dating—the person you told you were going to sleep early—and not from Jeongguk. You should feel guilty. You should feel guilty, but the face staring back at you in the mirror doesn’t look guilty at all.
She looks tired. A little beat-down, but that’s life.
Maybe that’s just what happens when you’ve spent the last two years of your life chasing after ghosts.
A knock at the door startles you. Sends your phone tumbling to the floor, screen probably cracked to hell, and you swear under your breath. “Just a minute!” you call out, a little stunned from how threadbare you feel all of a sudden.
Still, the knocking continues, and you’re on your knees on this bathroom floor and all you want to do is cry. You don’t want to be on this floor in this house. You don’t want to keep putting in the effort of maintaining the facades of all these friendships. You don’t want to keep coming back to this town, don’t want to keep being confronted with the harsh reality of all your mistakes.
“Just a fucking min—”
The words die on your tongue, because there Jeongguk stands, all the air in your lungs dissipating at the amount of space he takes up. Even worse when he steps inside and locks the door behind him. You feel like you’re going to drown. You feel like you’re going to scream or cry or both, and you’re still on the floor, still on your knees, and it feels too much like penance when you look up at him. Feels like you’re groveling, praying for forgiveness.
You stand quickly, ignoring the rush of blood to your head, the way your legs tingle. Jeongguk still hasn’t said a word, doesn’t seem like that’s going to change, either, and it’s really all you can do to stay on your feet when everything in you is screaming to collapse.
Eventually, he says, “You’re seeing someone,” and it isn’t a question, not really, but it borders on one. It’s a question and a confirmation and somehow sounds a lot like he’s asking for permission for something.
“I—yeah.” You swallow. “It’s new.”
He hums. Steps a little closer. Leans against the sink. Darts out his tongue to swipe at his bottom lip before he tugs his lip ring between his teeth. “Yeah? Does he treat you well?”
“She,” you correct, and there’s a flash of something in his eyes. Surprise, maybe. Jeongguk, at one point, had known everything about you, but not this. “And yeah,” you add on, barely a whisper, “she does.”
Part of you feels embarrassed. Jeongguk had known everything about you but not this, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or guilty but it still sits there in the middle of your chest. Feels like you’ve been keeping secrets. Feels like shame, even though you aren’t ashamed. Feels like you’re awaiting judgment. But the surprise in Jeongguk’s eyes disappears and something else settles in its place—uncertainty, if you had to guess.
“Are you happy with her?”
You shrug. “Like I said, it’s new.”
And Jeongguk is as emulous as ever, because he asks, “Does it feel like what we had?” and you already know the answer is no.
“I’m not sure anything will.”
It’s honest; you hadn’t said it to appease him, but he looks pleased anyway. You’re starting to understand why so many people write about their first love. Why it’s such a powerful role to fill. Because you and Jeongguk are standing in a bathroom behind a locked door, feet apart from one another, and you think, I don’t think there’s anyone I will ever love more than him even though it’s been two years. You think, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this.
You think, I would try over and over and over again if he asked me to.
Later on, when you’re alone in your childhood bed and your face is streaked with tears, only your shame and guilt for company, you won’t be able to figure out who moved first, but one of you had.
Once upon a time, you had known everything about Jeongguk, too. You could recite his taste from memory, but it’s different this time. He licks into your mouth and it tastes like ash—nothing like the clove cigarettes your girlfriend smokes, but close enough that the parallel burns like acid in your throat. It’s close enough that you can keep your eyes shut and pretend again.
This time there’s no softness to be found. There’s just Jeongguk’s mouth pressed to yours, barely letting you breathe, not wanting anyone to hear. There’s just the sink digging into your back. Jeongguk’s hands gripping at your waist, pulling at the hem of your skirt. There’s the frustration and desperation of two people who love each other but will never, ever get it right.
There’s Jeongguk asking, as he spits into his hand and slicks you up, if you’re going to tell her.
There’s you, already too far gone, saying you don’t know.
There’s Jeongguk asking, as you’re clenching around him and dragging him with you to the edge, if you’d come back to him if he asked you to.
There’s you, already knowing the answer to this, too, saying you would.
But this isn’t that and Jeongguk doesn’t ask. When it’s over, he tosses the condom and does a half-assed job of helping you clean up and he doesn’t ask. He splashes water on his face and fixes his hair and he doesn’t ask. He tucks his cock back into his briefs and zips his jeans and he doesn’t ask.
Jeongguk has one hand on the doorknob and he doesn’t ask you to come back. Instead, he asks, “How long are you gonna keep doing this?”
For once, you don’t have an answer.
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[ the third. ] You go even farther away for grad school.
You try to put more distance between you and Jeongguk, more distance between you and all the skeletons in your closet, but you just pack them up in different boxes and bring them with you.
You spend New Year’s Eve chain-smoking in your parents’ back yard—that same brand of clove cigarettes, because hearts are easy to break but some habits are not. Sometimes it’s a comfort to hurt yourself in the same way you hurt others, so you chain-smoke and you don’t go to to Taehyung’s birthday party because you weren’t invited and it doesn’t sting in the same way that it doesn’t sting that Jimin doesn’t call you once you’re home because he hasn’t spoken to you in a year.
The clock ticks down to midnight. Someone sets off fireworks. Absolutely nothing changes.
There are no half-baked resolutions. There’s no hope that this is going to be the year you get your shit together. There’s just you and the bed you’ve made for yourself; the autopilot you can’t—won’t—turn off, because you don’t know where you’re going anyway so you might as well just go wherever it’s taking you. There’s guilt and there’s shame and there’s baggage, but they’re all old friends. Those are old scars.
The sweatshirt you’re wearing doesn’t belong to you, and it does little to protect you from the bitter cold that bites at your skin. Jeongguk doesn’t belong to you, either, but he keeps coming back to you like he does.
“Mind if I sit down?”
You shrug, gesturing to the empty chair beside you. The small fire you’d built is down to its last embers, and it’s what you focus on, because you can’t focus on Jeongguk anymore.
“You weren’t at Tae’s.”
“Wasn’t invited.”
“Oh,” he breathes. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I would’ve—”
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have gone anyway.”
He seems to hear what you don’t say. I wouldn’t have gone because I can’t be around you anymore. I wouldn’t have gone because I don’t trust myself with you. I wouldn’t have gone because I’ve burned down every good thing in my life trying to keep you. “Oh. Yeah, that—that makes sense.”
He’d texted you. Asked if he could see you. Just wanted to talk, and you’ve never cared much for symbolism, but nearing midnight on New Year’s Eve had seemed as good a time as any to let it go, so you’d said yes. Now, when there isn’t much to say, all of Jeongguk’s flimsy excuses are laid bare. Transparent.
“Was Jimin there?”
Jeongguk nods. “You didn’t know?”
You shake your head. Feels like it’s made of concrete. “No. We haven’t talked since last winter break.”
“Because of—”
How cruel, that you’d confessed to Jimin instead of the one person who deserved to know. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
You shrug again. “It’s okay. I don’t think it’s permanent, just until I can get my shit together, I guess. Wasn’t fair to drag him into my mess anyway.”
“It’s not that easy,” Jeongguk says, and it sounds like something he wants to be true. It sounds like something he’s said countless times in defense of himself. “We’d—I’d do it if I could.”
“Yeah,” you agree, “of course.”
Silence creeps up again, so you dig another cigarette out of the pack and offer one to Jeongguk that he waves away. “Cloves? That’s a weird choice.”
“Just something I picked up along the way.”
He hears you again: They’re what she used to smoke. It helps me heal to hurt myself with something that reminds me of her. Sometimes I chain-smoke clove cigarettes and I don’t wash the smell from my hands, my clothes, my hair, because it makes me feel less alone.
So he asks, “Was it real?”
“Doesn’t matter,” you answer, flicking the wheel of your lighter, words spoken around the cigarette stuck between your lips. “It never had a chance. Not a real one, anyway.”
“Do your parents know?”
“Know what? That I went away to college and started fucking women?” Jeongguk shrugs. Has the audacity to look embarrassed. “What are you trying to ask me? You wanna know if I keep coming back to you because I’m scared to come out to my parents?”
“No. I don’t know. I just—”
The laugh that escapes you is scorched and bitter. Sounds the way the tobacco tastes. “No, Jeongguk. I keep coming back to you because I keep hoping you’ll ask me to.” I keep hoping you still want me.
“I almost did,” he admits, and you can hear how he swallows around the lump in his throat. “The first time.”
“When you were a dick about me sleeping with someone else? Yeah, okay. You didn’t want me back, you just didn’t want me to be with anyone else.”
He huffs. “How the fuck do you know what I want? You’ve never bothered to ask.”
“Because it doesn’t matter,” comes your response, stilted and practiced. “It doesn’t matter what we want, because we’re just going to keep hurting one another trying to get it right.” You suck in a breath, wipe furiously at the tears on your cheeks. “And we’re never going to.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Then ask.” Jeongguk startles, looks at you with wide eyes. “Ask me to come back for real, Jeongguk, and I will.”
A beat of silence.
Two, three, four.
Someone sets off another round of fireworks. A dog barks. It’s so cold that you can see Jeongguk’s breath each time he exhales, each time he breathes out instead of speaking. All the words he isn’t saying. And it’s exactly how you knew it would go, but it does nothing to tamp down the devastation in your chest.
You’d confessed your transgressions to Jimin and thought your silence to your ex-girlfriend was a gift, that it was sparing her the pain of what you’d done. Now you understand that someone’s silence can be the most vicious thing of all.
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[ the last. ] Graduation looms. It’s the last winter break you’re spending at home.
Your therapist suspects you get your compartmentalism from your parents.
They don’t mention it. They see the stack of boxes and your bare bedroom walls and they don’t say a word about any of it. They watch you pack everything in your car and don’t offer to help. They process their grief silently, and when you can’t stand it anymore, you say, “I dated a woman my senior year of undergrad, you know.”
They don’t say anything to that, either, but it feels good to tell them. Feels a little like freedom and reclamation, like you can be who you are in front of others.
When you leave for good, you don’t want to repackage all those same skeletons.
So you meet Jimin for lunch and you take it in stride that everything is weird, that there’s nearly two years of silence to fill. You don’t ask for forgiveness and he doesn’t demand it of you, just asks if you’re doing better. “I’m doing the best I can,” you answer, and it’s human and honest enough that he accepts it with a warm smile.
Jeongguk is more difficult.
There’s no way to neatly box up that kind of baggage.
You’d intended to stop by his apartment to talk, tell him you aren’t coming back anymore. There’s nothing left here for you, you’d told him, and there was a flash of something. A there’s me, isn’t there? that had gone unsaid, destined for the same fate as a million other unspoken words between you.
Because there is him, but there’s also the way you’re desperately trying to claw back into something resembling normalcy. You’d lost yourself when you also lost Jeongguk, and you need to figure out who you are without him. You need to know who you are once you stop running and let your demons catch up with you. You need to hear what they have to say.
Maybe Jeongguk had said it best last year—“It’s not that easy. I’d do it if I could.”—because you’re nothing if not predictable and self-destructive.
You’re nothing if not naked and on your back beneath him, your fingers threaded through his hair as he rocks his hips into you, more tender than you deserve. His lips are ghosting along your skin and every press feels like a brand. Feels like he’s both making a mockery of you and declaring you ruined for anyone who might come after him. Feels like you’ll love him until you die.
(Some version of you must exist outside of Jeongguk’s grasp—outside of his orbit, his bed—but right now, as he twines your fingers together and pins them above your head, you can’t figure out who she might be.)
Eight months had been a long time to think of all the things you wanted to say, and four years is worse. Four years, and you still can’t bring yourself to ask him to try again, but there’s nothing after this, nothing to lose, so your voice is hoarse and raw when you say, “Jeongguk,” and he groans a little, nips at the column of your throat because he loves the way you say his name. “Jeongguk,” you repeat, because he senses the urgency, hears what you aren’t saying.
“Yeah, baby, say it. Whatever it is, tell me.”
He rolls his hips faster. Before, he would’ve tried to prolong the ending, but he’s hurtling towards it now. There’s nothing after this, you know, but you need the confirmation. You need to finally put all of this to rest. “I want to—” His cock strokes someplace that whites out your vision. “Fuck, want to—want you to come with me.”
He laughs, full of himself, probably smirking out the side of his mouth. “Keep squeezing me like that and I will soon.”
“No,” you insist, shocked at the conviction in your voice, “when I leave. Come with me.”
Everything slows. Jeongguk pulls back, moves his hands to cover himself, and there’s nothing but cold confusion in his absence. “What?”
“I didn’t ask you before. Last year. I just—I left it up to you, and you’re right, I didn’t ask what you wanted, but I didn’t tell you what I wanted, either. But I’m telling you now. I’m asking—”
There was never going to be anything after this.
Jeongguk’s silence says it all.
The way he pulls out and rolls you onto your stomach. The way he fucks as fast and as hard as he can. The way he used to love you openly and honestly and now holds whatever’s left close to his chest like it’s something to be ashamed of.
Someone’s silence can always be the most vicious thing of all.
Roll credits.
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thank you so much for reading, and an additional thank you in advance if you decide to reblog my work. as always, my inbox is always open for any feedback! ♡
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ohno-the-sun · 10 months
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Spoiler heavy fnaf ruin dlc rant up ahead
I am so fucking proud of steal wool they really took every criticism from the original game and fixed it and even added more
Like Cassie actually acts like a human being?? And like her knowledge of the original characters and cute little comments on every item are so endearing there is so much detail going into this.
The fact that they expanded on one of the fan faves Roxanne and giving her a great arc I’m in love I’m so happy
They honestly gave more depth to all the animatronics too like we finally see Bonnie’s design and get and get a taste as to what happened, also that poster Freddy gifted him I’m crying they are so cute and gay I love them
😭😭😭
Also the whole dark ride section with Monty is so fascinating like is that narrative kind of true or is it just fabricated by fazbear inc to cover up the decommissioning of Bonnie
Why replace Bonnie with Monty?? Why not make a new Bonnie model?? With the prototype label on Freddy it may be confirmed that they make multiple models (well we already kinda knew that with Freddies comments but oh well)
Also Freddy?? Like is that our Freddy or a different one?? They very clearly highlighted the prototype label so they want to emphasize it, but then the head is still missing like in the princess quest ending so what is the truth??
Feel bad for chica fans tho she really was sidelined hard
Aaaaa and my baby boys!!! There’s 3 now aaahaga
I was really not expecting eclipse to be the way they were, very… normal? Is that the right word?? Like obviously a little delusional on when the daycare is gonna open again, but in the right mindset of like this child needs to leave this place is not safe. It is interesting to me that both he and Roxy thought that it was Cassie’s birthday, maybe that was the last day before she left the plex? Or maybe that was the day the plex caught fire? Or maybe most depressingly we are playing on Cassie’s birthday so the animatronics have it in their systems what her birthday is and wish her a happy one (if they are in the right state of mind lol)
Some peeps are upset moon is a little too villainous
I think you can still say it was mainly the virus but I would argue even if it’s not the virus I feel like moon is kinda justified here. Like sun has been shutting him away for a long time before this (if the books are to be believed but also in general) so when he finally gets a chance to roam free of course he’s gonna take it. And idk about u but if my alternate personality was constantly trying to shut me out and I finally got control, I probably too would try and keep my control for as long as possible. Also from what I have seen so far, not even moon is all that aggressive? Like he grabs you at the beginning, but I think that’s just his very ineffective way to get kids to sleep and other than that he just kinda stays away
Poor sunny baby is stuck in the ar world 🥺🥺 I didn’t notice at first but yeah everytime you talk to him it’s only in the ar world. And the end part where you switch them out for eclipse if you do that in the ar world, he says not for me it’s for moon.
I will say though I noticed the voice acting for them changed a little this game, like both have a higher pitch and are more goofy sounding? Like more gremlin energy than evil villainy. I wonder if that was on purpose? Both of them sounded more like the other so maybe that was the reason? Interest interest
Also their mouth moves?? Sort of?? That’s so silly to me they have a whole working mouth system and their face mask doesn’t work with at all 😭
Does give me lore intrigue tho cause like why do their mouths move but not anymore?? Did something happen?? Are they just not maintained enough?? They also move outward instead of up and down (at least from what I saw) so is the mechanism different?
Also the way that sun and moon talk about eachother is so interesting. Like moon says the light hurts “us” and sun says “no the other me” like they seem to almost consider eachother more connected than we first thought, like they’re not just coworkers or strangers they are almost like two sides of the same person. It’s very interesting and I wonder where people will take this.
Overall great job I’m so excited to comb through the game and find every little secret (especially regarding the dca) aaaa
Ok ok update moon does have a jump scare but it’s ridiculously hard to get and I’d still argue he’s not as vicious as he was base game. I mention in another post but eclipse being as kind as he is and being (presumably) a combination of both AIs, gives even more evidence moon is supposed to be kind and caring like his posters suggest but something went wrong. Also Cassie’s comments on their plushes show that there were kids who truly liked the daycare.
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nininearie · 1 year
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my favorite things to do while regressed !
everyone gets bored sometimes ! here are a few of my favorite things to do while regressed ^_^
inside activities
watching a kids movie ! (i recommend the lego movie, monsters inc, lili and stitch, paddington, and wall-e ! :])
reading a children’s book and sounding out the words !
building a fort ! grab your pillows, blankets, and some snacks !
having a dance party ! turn on ur favorite song and dance with your stuffies !
play cozy mobile games ! (lily story, clawbert, like a dino, good pizza great pizza, axolochi, and kuma sushi bar are fun ones!)
color a picture for a friend !
start an agere journal ! it could be digital (i use notion) or a physical journal :3
take a bubble bath !
play dress up with you and your stuffies !
browse for little stuff online ! i look at little gear, stimboards, and even make some of my own and post them on tiktok ! (@nininearie)
outside activities
have a picnic with your stuffies !
collect bugs (make sure to put them back in the grass tho!)
make an obstacle course !
play with bubbles !
build a hideout !
play hide and seek w your cg/sibbies !
collect leaves, sticks, and flowers to create a collage !
——
if you don’t have sibbies or stuffies or cg(s) to do certain activities with,, that’s okay ! i’m more than happy to be friends w any little as long as they’re a minor ^_^ feel free to follow and msg me on here so we can b sibbies ! :3 and if u don’t want a sibbie, it’s okay to regress alone. you’re not any less valid if you do !
have a good time regressing !
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forcheol · 20 days
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hi, hani! i like your writings so muchhh… i always go to your account whenever i’m having a cheol brain rot. if it’s possible can u try a jeonghan fic where in reader tries to make something cute out of jeonghan’s long hair? like putting clips on him or smth. thank you!!^^
hi! tysm omg 🥹🥹 i loved writing this :]
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jeonghan lays on your lap, his hands busy playing on his phone while yours card through his silky hair.
“mm, that feels nice,” jeonghan mumbles as his fingers spring across the screen of his phone, pressing his head further into your hand. when you stop moving your hands, jeonghan whines at the loss of the good feeling.
“can i try something with your hair, please? i just remembered something.”
he lifts from where he was to sit facing you, “you can do anything with me, baby. what is it you wanna do?”
face lighting up at his response, you tell him to wait where he is before rushing off to find what you need.
you return with your hands in the pockets of your (jeonghan’s) zip up. jeonghan looks up from his phone, tilting his head, “what’d you get?”
you hum, "you'll see in a bit. carry on with your game, hannie."
he follows what you say, focusing on his game. while he's occupied, you part his hair down the middle due to his hair being all over the place. then, you grab a hair tie from your pocket and use it to tie one side of his hair into a little pigtail, doing the same to the other side so that it looks the same.
"okay, look!" you hold up a mirror in front of him that you had snagged from your room. jeonghan laughs, "what is this, babe?"
"pigtails. you look so cute, right now. can i take a picture?" you ask with your phone in your hand, the camera open. he laughs again before nodding and you snap a few pictures before searching something up on your phone, gasping at a thought.
"what?"
"you know who you like right now?" jeonghan shakes his head at your question, "you look like boo from monsters inc."
laughter bubbles out of you as you hold up a picture of boo next to jeonghan's head. he takes the phone from your hand with the mirror in his other hand as he compares the character to himself.
"you're right, i do," he chuckles, taking a selfie on your phone for you to keep. at this point, your whole camera roll is filled with selfies jeonghan has taken on your phone, knowing you love to use them as your wallpaper.
rummaging through your pockets, you take out a handful of star shaped clips, "these too."
jeonghan simply nods, used to all your little clips that you put on his hair many times. some of those being little bows, gems of different shapes and even hair claws when his hair was long enough to be kept up with the claw.
carefully and with calculated placements, you clip them on, moving his head around with your hands to see any empty spots that you can fill. when you're done, jeonghan looks at his hair through the mirror and once again using your phone for pictures, "these are so cute, i love it."
"good! otherwise that would've been all my hard work wasted!" you joke and jeonghan smiles.
"i always love your amazing masterpieces. think i'll grow out my hair a little more, wanna try those claws again," he says, slender fingers messing around with his hair in the mirror.
"really? i'll have to bring those out again, there's a few i wanna try on your hair again."
jeonghan sits up, "we could match!"
you gasp at the idea, "we'd be so cute, hannie!"
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chernabogs · 1 month
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ERLKÖNIG
Inc: Malleus (/Reader later on), Reader/Prefect, Lilia, Silver, Sebek, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and a lot of fae who should not be in this dimension yet somehow are. Wc: Roughly 9k (Currently sitting at chapter 2/23). Warnings: Violence, reference to war, kidnapping, rituals that fae allegedly did in mythology (wild), psychological horror, body horror (not until much later), and the boys are fighting... a lot. Relies heavily on ancient Celtic and Welsh lore (Tam Lin, Thomas the Rhymer, and Oisin I owe u my life) Summary: Your first encounter with the fae was not in Twisted Wonderland, but rather on the coast of a village your grandmother once lived in—where stones bit into your bare feet and the water poured into your lungs as you were pulled to a world so different from your own. It was by cunning alone that you managed to escape, having since pushed those memories aside. But the fae do not forget—not even when you cross dimensions once more—and as Beltane looms, the time for collecting is near.
Chapter 1 (Prologue) below the cut. Check out the work up to chapter 2 here!
I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill's side.
-  La Belle Dame sans Merci, Keats
19??, Dunhill, Ireland. October.
There is an unsettling truth behind the superstitions we hold. After all, why else do we face horseshoes upright, or close our blinds when the sun begins to set? We did not learn to play mute when we hear our names get called at night for no reason, nor did we discover on a whim that blackbirds circling are harbingers of ill outcomes.  
Your grandmother was a woman of superstition. Because she lived in Dunhill, Ireland, you very rarely had the opportunity to see her growing up. This didn’t mean that you weren’t occasionally shipped out to arrive at her doorstep for a few weeks at a time over the summer months.
Your memories of her appearance are mostly flashes of the few moments you saw her. Knotted joints on her body, silver hair hidden behind a headscarf she always wore, and the way her shoulders would stoop with each shuffling step she took. What you remember more vividly was the way she acted when the two of you went out. Her trembling hands—Parkinson’s, you think your parent may have mentioned—would always press an iron nail into yours to put in your pocket before you departed.
“They like to wait on the coastlines,” she had murmured when you asked why she gave this to you. “And they’ll like you the most.”
She would not offer any further information, nor would she let you out until the nail was securely tucked away. Despite how slowly she would move on your many walks along Benvoy Beach, you never once failed to miss the way her sharp gaze would always be fixated on the unruly seas beyond.
She dies when you’re ten years old. Her funeral is a vivid affair. Your grandmother’s humble home has been transformed into a centre of traffic within a matter of hours since her passing, barely giving your family a moment to breathe despite catching the red-eye flight earlier that day. People you have never seen before shaking your small hand and offering their condolences. The strong fragrance of unknown flowers and cheap perfume fills each room, suffocating out any last semblance of your grandmother that may have still lingered. It feels more like they’re spitting on her memory than honouring it. You know your grandmother—she is, was, a quiet woman, and not one for all this pomp and circumstance.
Perhaps this is why no one notices when you sneak out and down the rocky hills.
You slip on several rocks and scrape up your hands really good by the time your feet hit the familiar sandy beach below. With the way the sun is beginning to set, the waters seem to be a wine-red color, swirling in their chaotic fervour to reach the earth you stand on. You pause to take several breaths before kicking your shoes off and stepping forward into that hungry sea.
Your parent will be furious at you for dirtying up your formal garb, but this isn’t at the forefront of your mind right now as your eyes slide shut and you stretch your arms wide. You feel the wind rush along your body and the fragrance of salt overtake you as you spill your grief into the vast waters, letting it mix and swirl into that abyss for a moment of catharsis.
It’s when the wind carries the scent of something pungent that your eyes snap open again. The foulness is brief, and for a moment you write it off as simply a byproduct of the ocean, until it returns again stronger than before. It smothers the brine and has your head turning to look around for the source. You look over your left shoulder at the empty beach around you. The sun continues to set, and your gaze tracks the path of a gull flying overhead before you look over your shoulder once more.
This time, someone is waiting.  
There is an unsettling truth behind the superstitions we hold. The reason why we are scared of things that try to look like us, why we try so hard to ward them off, is because we know that anything that wants to be like a human certainly has no good intent in their heart. This is the case for the figure you see standing on the beach.
They’re wearing the same dark funeral garb you had seen the others in your grandmother’s home wearing. A wide-brimmed hat sits upon their head to conceal most of their features, although you can see scarlet hairs peeking out, and their hands appear to be clasped behind their back as they stand stoically ahead. Despite the winds that bite at your cheeks, not a single scrap of fabric on the figure’s body moves. It’s as though they’re cut from a painting and placed in real life.
You both observe each other in silence. You can feel your body locking up as your mind chants to you wrong, wrong, wrong, over and over again like a mantra. Your right hand drifts down to your pant pocket—you did not take a nail with you before you left the home.
They like to wait on the coastlines, and they’ll like you the most.
Your breath catches in your throat.
The figure smiles—black, sharp, and not quite human. 
Something in your gut tells you to run and you, even as a rebellious child, do as you’re told. Your body twists around to scramble towards the rocks as your feet slip in the wet sand. You completely discard grabbing your shoes in your haste to get away, fully accepting the agony that the stones ripping into your soles will bring as consequence.
You don’t get very far. Whatever is on the beach with you is far quicker than you will ever be. Within moments of you turning, its cold fingers dig into your shoulders. You scream—cry—as the figure leans down and the pungent aroma of rotting fish emanates with each breath it exhales. You thrash and twist in its grip until you face each other, and you lock eyes with her.  
She looks exactly as she did the last time you saw each other. Same knotted limbs, same silvery hairs, same stoop of her shoulders.
She stares down at you. The wind whips the loose strands of her hair around her face, and her eyes are the cloudy blue of the dead as something begins to claw in your mind. You watch as her thin and cracking lips form the syllables to your name—but it’s lost to the roar of an ever-cacophonous sea. The ground surges up around you, wrapping thorns—thorns? —around your legs. They bite into your skin, draw ruby gems from beneath your frigid flesh, and when you lift your head again, your grandmother merely continues to wear her blackened smile at the sight.
You cry out once more, but just like your name, your pleas are stolen away by the winds.
Everything lasts all but a few moments before the sea finally reaches what it has been clawing for. 
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