#is not to feel guilty about spending the frivolous budget on something frivolous | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lubdubsworld · 3 years

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GIFT .

Genre : Brother-in-law Jungkook x OC!

Warnings : Yandere Jungkook! Non Consent. Manipulative behaviour. Explicit Sexual Content, Violence, Murder

Author's Note : I love reading Yandere fics so I just wanted to write one!! Its very different from what I usually write... So proceed with caution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time I met Jungkook , it was five years into my relationship with Namjoon.

Namjoon had told me all about his baby brother, a final year student in SNU. Jungkook majored in Business , training to take over the company business . Namjoon often mentioned that it was Jungkook's offer to switch majors that had helped him pursue his own dream of being a music producer.

So when he told me that Jungkook was on a break from university and his parents were looking forward to having a proper family dinner with all of us, I was excited to meet the boy , I'd heard so much about. Namjoon was endlessly fond of his little brother and I wanted him to like me just as much.

Namjoon and I had met seven years earlier in the University Library and had become fast friends. We were both quiet, intellectually driven individuals, preferring to spend our time in the library as opposed to partying with our friends. And yet, in a twist , against our family’s wishes, we had chosen not to pursue an academically driven career either. I’d always felt out of place in my own friend group, most of my friend from Journalism being extroverted and fun loving. Namjoon for his part had only two very close friends, Yoongi and Hoseok and preferred spending time by himself as well.

So it was only natural that we fell in with each other with ease. His beautiful dimpled smile tugged on my gut, even as his gentle nature and gorgeous mind made my heart pound. I fell in love with him, between the late night laughter in the library and the soft secrets whispered against my skin, in the privacy of his bed.

“Nervous?” His voice drew me to the present, fingers inking with mine as he lightly knocked his shoulders against mine, staring down at me with a dimpled smile. I shook my head quickly, squeezing his hand gently.

“Of course not. I just want him to like me.” I whispered and Namjoon chuckled.

“Jungkookie isn’t very expressive so don’t worry if he isn’t very vocal in his affections. He’s very shy with new people but I’m sure, he’ll love you.” Namjoon reached out and lightly, brushed the hair off my face before leaning down and giving me a quick kiss.

I gripped his waist, pressing in closer, lips parting instinctively , eager to chase the taste of him. He groaned and gripped my elbow, pulling me around to press up against the tall , lean strength of his body and this was it, this endless need to touch him even after seven whole years of being together. I moaned when he bit down on my lips, my back arching a bit to press into him.

“Hyung?”

We parted, surprised and I felt my face flame, lips slicked wet and no doubt red from where Joon’s teeth had sunk in.

What a first impression.

“Ahh… Jungkook-ah… You came out?” Namjoon looked a little flustered, dimples peeking out in an abashed smile as he laughed embarrassedly I found myself smiling at Jungkook, who looked nothing like I’d imagined.

I’d been expecting someone cute and friendly.

Jungkook was dressed in all black, tall and intimidating. He was also almost surreally beautiful, gaze piercing and steady as he stared at me. I felt an instinctive urge to hide, not missing the way his gaze trailed up and down my body, lips parting gently to reveal a pair of bunny teeth that looked jarringly adorable on a face that was , quite simply put, arrestingly gorgeous.

He hummed, still standing in the doorway, eyes trained on me and I swallowed when he smiled , wide and open. His tongue darted out, lightly licking his lower lip .

“Hi, Hana.” He said softly and I startled.

“Hana? I’m sure you mean noona…..” I laughed nervously and even Namjoon looked surprised and Jungkook merely smiled, shrugging.

“You don’t feel like a noona.” He said casually.

I merely stared at him, not sure what he meant. Namjoon laughed a little as well, moving over to lightly hug his brother.

“Yah! You’ve just met her. Isn’t it too soon to start being a brat?” He ruffled his hair playfully before turning to me.

“Come on, Hana. Come say hi to my parents.” Namjoon walked in and I rushed to follow him, pausing when I reached the doorway. I smiled at Jungkook, holding a hand out slowly.

“I’ve heard so much about you Jungkook, I hope we can be friends…” I said sincerely and he stared at my hand, not taking it. Instead he gave me another soft smile. Before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the back of my hand, making me jump .

“You don’t feel like a friend either.” He said with a shrug , before moving away, leaving me stunned on the doorway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two years later :

“Seven months? Namjoon we’re getting married in seven months! How am I supposed to plan a whole wedding , with you away from the country?” I asked desperately, watching as Namjoon sat with his head in his hands. He looked stricken, regretful and pained and I felt terrible for being unreasonable but it was impossible not to feel hurt.

“I know.. I know hana, I’m so fucking sorry. But this is such a huge opportunity and its not just me : Hoseok and Yoongi depend on me. I can’t screw things up for them too.” He whispered and I exhaled.

Namjoon had been offered a chance to produce for a very high end recording label based out of the US and they wanted him to stay there for a minimum of seven months. The offer had been a complete surprise, out of the blue and the timing couldn’t have been worse. I’d been accepted into an internship at a popular magazine and it would be impossible for me to go with him. And I was so desperate to go.

We’d never been apart for more than a few days, in the entirety of our relationship and the thought of not seeing him for months made me want to throw up.

“I’ve spoken to Jungkook. He’ll help you with all the things that have to be done. And I swear that I’ll be back at least a month before the date, alright? No matter what happens.” Namjoon said firmly. I swallowed, nodding nervously.

It was true that I didn’t like the idea of being away from Namjoon. But the thought of keeping him away from a dream that he had worked so hard for, was almost unfathomable.

Besides, Jungkook was reliable and sweet. The perfect gentleman. Especially now that he’d taken over as his father’s Executive Assistant, Jungkook was incredibly good at organizing and planning things out.

With his help, I could plan out our wedding to perfection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next five months were spent in a haze of appointments and fittings and bookings. Jungkook had arranged for a shift in my internship hours, so he and I could spend a solid four hours every day, visiting different vendors, picking out the perfect floral arrangements, napkins, brocade and what not. And for once, I found myself completely enthralled by the idea of spending money of frivolously pretty things. Whether it was the florists or the patisserie, the dress fitting or the invitations, I felt my excitement bubbling over , amazed because marrying into Namjoon’s family meant an unlimited budget and for once, I didn’t mind being extravagant.

What was more, I didn’t miss Namjoon nearly as much as I thought I would. Because deep down , I knew that he wouldn’t have enjoyed this all that much. And I would have felt guilty , dragging him everywhere.

And Jungkook was the one to thank for all of it. He picked me up everyday for an early breakfast , followed by hours of combing the streets for ideas and appointments. He was funny and enthusiastic, eager to help me in every way and I was so grateful that I couldn’t thank him enough.

“I owe you so much, Kookie. You’ve been a life saver.” I groaned, collapsing on the couch and dropping my head back against the backrest. Jungkook chuckled, sitting down on one of the Turkish ottomans and lightly grabbing my ankle, pulling my foot onto his lap. I flushed a little, still not used to how touchy he was.

Jungkook liked wrapping his arms around my waist when we were out and about, fingers fluttering up my sides or brushing hair off my face with easy familiarity. I didn’t mind. He reminded me of my little brother back in Ilsan.

Most of the people we met assumed he was the groom and Jungkook told me it would be better to keep up the ruse because wedding planners were more comfortable when couples came together and I’d agreed, albeit a little reluctantly. I missed Namjoon and I wondered if he would mind. But when I mentioned it in passing to him during one of our daily video calls, he’d merely laughed it off.

“You’re so tense, Hana. You should relax. Everything is going to be okay.” Jungkook said softly, soft fingers digging into the curve of heel before brushing the arch of my foot. I smiled when he tugged my foot close, placing it down on the firmness of his thigh.

I gazed down at him, feeling uncomfortably nervous. This whole thing seemed oddly intimate somehow and I felt the first tendrils of guilt begin to curl around my gut. I swallowed, hating myself for tainting something that was no doubt innocent. I ought to be grateful that my future brother in law was this kind to me.

“I know. Thank you. I just miss him sometimes.” I said softly. The fingers stilled on my foot.

“Only sometimes?” He teased, eyes narrowed and tone just a little colder and I hesitated.

“I don’t miss him when you keep me company. You help me forget that I’m doing all of this by myself.” I said honestly. Jungkook inhaled sharply, his gaze flicking to mine, holding mine with an intensity that made me balk a little.

“You mean, that?” He asked quietly and I laughed at how serious he looked.

“Of course I do. I was so sure this whole thing would be me being miserably lonely but you’ve kept me laughing and happy. I’m going to ask Namjoon to buy you something expensive and amazing when he comes back.”

“He already has something amazing. It’s the only thing I really want.” Jungkook said quietly, fingers stroking up, gently massaging my foot all the way up my calf. I groaned at how good it felt.

“Really what is it?” I asked curious.

Jungkook squeezed my knee before carefully placing my foot down , reaching for the other one.

“You’ll know soon, Hana.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True to his word, Namjoon called me exactly a month before our wedding date.

“Guess who’s leaving the God forsaken place this weekend?”

I felt warmth flood my insides, heart racing with pure joy, tears brimming over because I’d honestly resigned myself to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to make it back on time.

“Monday i, I’ll be there. Can’t wait to kiss you, my love.” He whispered and I nodded, laughing.

Finally, Everything would be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon’s flight was due to arrive late night ,somewhere between twelve and one in the morning. I’d taken a nap in the afternoon, so I could be up to welcome him back. Jungkook arrived at around seven with Takeout and flowers.

He didn’t ring the doorbell, letting himself in with the spare key I’d given him for emergencies. I found myself scrambling for my robe because I’d taken a nice long shower and slipped on a silk negligee, short and ending just over my knees . I could feel his eyes on me as I hastily tied the sash together, flustered. The robe wasn’t long either and I felt absolutely exposed, even worse than when he’d stepped into the dressing room during my fitting, offering to help me with the zipper.

“ Jungkook, what are you doing here?” I asked nervously and he shrugged, eyes still trailing over my legs, the skin bare. I felt his gaze like a caress and some instinct told me I was in danger. I shook my head to clear it. How ridiculous.

This was Jungkook. Sweet, wonderful Jungkookie. My best friend these past few months. There was no one else I could be safer with.

“I knew you’d be excited, what with hyung coming back and all. So, I thought I’d drop by and at least make sure you’re well fed.” He grinned, holding the tae out up. I smiled and nodded, moving to get plates and glasses from the kitchen.

I heard Jungkook moving around in the living room and when I went back in , I found that he had two glasses of wine ready on the table, an expensive bottle of merlot opened nearby. I smiled a bit, shaking my head.

“What are we celebrating?” I asked curiously and he shrugged.

“Namjoon hyung is coming back right? It means I’ll be getting my amazing gift tonight.” He said softly, picking his glass up and taking a sip and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re such a child. You can’t wait for a day to get your gift?”

Jungkook hummed. He looked ethereal in the dim golden light of the apartment. Like something out of a fairytale. All dark ebony hair and porcelain skin. I wondered, again….why he never dated. He was easily one of the most beautiful humans I’d ever seen in my life. And that voice.

The voice of an angel.

“I’ve been waiting for years, Hana. I’m sick and tired of waiting.” He said softly, voice low and eyes somehow dark and I tried to hold my smile.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it.” I grinned and he smiled, all teeth.

“Oh, I intend to. Thoroughly.”

I took my own glass and took a deep sip , before holding it against his.

“To no longer waiting and finally getting what we want.” I said cheerfully, thinking of the long months without Namjoon and the few hours till he would be back in my arms. Jungkook chuckled and clinked his glass against mine.

“To you, Hana.” He said simply and I blushed, surprised and flattered.

We ate the take out but just a few bites in, I felt my eyes getting heavy which was so unfair. It was barely eight. And I’d slept in the afternoon. What was wrong with me? I was supposed to be up till Namjoon came home.

“You alright, love?” Jungkook asked sweetly , getting out of his chair and making his way over when I almost knocked the glass of water over, fingers trembling. I pouted, even as his fingers curled over my shoulders, gripping lightly.

“Why am I so drowsy?” I whined in desperation and he leaned down, lightly resting his chin on my shoulder.

“You need to rest, hana. Come on, let’s get you to bed…. “

Eyes heavy and limbs turning to jelly, I could barely blink as he reached down and scooped me into his arms , carrying me into the bedroom. I felt his fingers tug on the sash of my robe, a protest building up at the action but he shushed me gently.

“I’m just helping you out of this, Hana. Rest now… Namjoon hyung will be here soon and we have a long night ahead of us, you and I.”

I could feel my mind churn at that, confusion warring with apprehension because why was Jungkook inserting himself in tonight? What did he have to do with Namjoon and I ?

Sleep beckoned and I found myself slipping into the darkness before I could fully ponder on his words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up sweaty and damp , body overheated and my head foggy. I made to move and felt my heart pound when I realized my hands were tied up to the headboard. I blinked, only to be met with darkness because there was something tied around my eye as well.

“Jungkook?!” I called out panicking and there was a low chuckle.

And then a very familiar scent.

Namjoon.

I sagged in relief.

“Joon…it’s you….” I breathed out . “ Come on, do we really have to do this right away? I wanna see you…” I whispered desperately.

Fingers brushed over my ankle and I jumped.

“Namjoon?” I whispered . The bed dipped next to me, and I felt the brush of his shirt against my bare arm. It was soft and silky , familiar because I’d bought it for him for his birthday and he’d sent me a pic of him wearing it, from the airport today.

“Okay… I’ll play.” I laughed softly. “ Just untie me… I wanna touch you..”

“Sshhh…..” A finger pressed against my lip and I startled. Throat dry, I gulped.

But I didn’t say anything, biting my lips nervously as I felt him climb over me, one knee on either side of mine, fingers curling on my thighs, lips pressing against my cheek. I sighed, relishing the soft press of his lips, up and down my neck, the damp wetness of his tongue as he licked the skin right after, teeth nipping gently and then with more force.

I trembled as soft fingers tugged on my negligee tugging the fabric up and away from my body, raising it up till it pooled near my chest. I felt the tug on my panties, yanking the fabric off and then the weight of him went away, a breathy exhale that sounded both calm and somehow desperate, his body moving down to lightly hold my knees, parting my legs.

I bent my knees, spreading my thighs the way he clearly wanted me to, hearing him groan in return. He used his thumbs to gently part the damp folds of my centre and I felt my entire body shudder at the press of his tongues against the most intimate parts of me.

Choking, I could only lay there and take it, his tongue licking the slick folds, over and over again with an almost curious insistence, like he was tasting me for the first time and I could feel his body trembling on the bed as he did. I felt his teeth tug on the hardened nub, bruising hard and yet somehow almost playful and cheeky and I found myself squirming in pleasure, wetness seeping out of me .

The tip of his finger found my slit, running up and done the length of it in a slow, gentle caress, gathering the moisture there and I trembled when he reached my clit, gently rubbing circles on the little bundle before moving back down to trace my entrance. I was so wet, getting wetter by the second and I’d never wanted to be fucked so bad.

“Please…..baby… I want you ….in me…” I choked out and he chuckled, a little mischievous and unlike him.

The finger dipped in, shallow and barely in and I whimpered in desperation.

“More.. Please…. I want more.. Want you… Its been so long…”

I felt him move back at that and then he was there, right between my legs. I felt the clink of metal as he unbuckled himself, the sound of his zipper and the rustle of fabric as he pushed his trousers off. I could feel the hard muscles of his thigh against the back of mine as he scooted closer, felt the brush of his hard length against my center, the head dipping in just lightly.

He pushed forward, driving in with so much force that my entire body shuddered in shock. And in just that second, I knew, with dawning horror…….

This was not Namjoon.

I screamed, so loud my own ears rang and a palm pressed down into my mouth, forceful and unrelenting. And terrifyingly unfamiliar.

“Hana…” Jungkook’s voice near my ear made me choke on my tears, my mind splintering in shock and betrayal, body going rigid in terror as he pulled out , only to slide back in.

“Knew it would be worth it, keeping myself pure for you….” He crooned against my skin and I whimpered, wetness spilling over my eyelashes as I tried to squirm away, my mind body and soul only screaming for the man I loved.

“Don’t worry about anything ….Hyung’s in a better place now. “ Jungkook chuckled deeply and I felt my skin go ice cold at the implication. He moved his hand away and I coughed, choking.

“Jungkook….”

The blind fold came off and he kept pumping into me, hips moving erratically, no rhythm or grace and it was obvious he’d never done this before, obvious in the way he looked : blissed out and feral, eyes unfocused as he stared down at me. I felt him tremble and shake, before going still . I felt warm wetness flood my insides and bile rose, nausea making breathing difficult. He stayed on me and inside me, his body so large and immovable, heavy and suffocating over my own.

“what are you doing Jungkookie?” I sobbed out in disbelief and he glared at me.

“What does it fucking look like I’m doing? I’m taking what I fucking deserve….” He snarled. “ Two fucking years…. He doesn’t deserve you. Spends all his days and nights holed up in that studio of his with his friends….leaves you to fend for yourself. You deserve to be waited on, hand and foot… you deserve the world, hana…and he wouldn’t let you experience any of it. Fucking bastard….

“No… No.. God …no..” I choked out. It was the shirt.

He was wearing Namjoon’s shirt. And his cologne. The shirt I knew my boyfriend had been wearing today. How did he get it??

Jungkook brushed his fingers on my cheeks .

“What’s wrong baby? Are you worried about him? Wondering where he is…” He chuckled. “ I told you..he’s in a better place right now..”

“No… you’re lying..you wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t I? You know me that well , hana?” He teased.

No. No I didn’t I didn’t know him at all.

“How about this? If you marry me…. If you let me have this dream wedding with my dream girl…. “ He smirked,” If you let me love you the way you deserve , maybe I’ll take you to visit him…someday. ”

I closed my eyes.

I couldn’t process what I’d just heard… I didn’t know… if he was bluffing. What if he had actually killed-

I couldn’t believe that. I couldn’t. It would break me.

“Okay… Just…please don’t hurt him…” I whispered.

Jungkook smiled.

“Just relax Hana. Everything’s going to be okay.”

AUTHORS NOTE : THIS IS LITERALLY MY FIRST TIME WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS PURELY OUT OF IDLE CURIOSITY

~~~~~~~~~~~

#YANDERE JUNGKOOK #YANDERE BTS #yandere jungkook smut #bts smut

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ironmandeficiency · 3 years

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pedro boys + spending habits

word count: fuck if i know, wrote it thru the app

characters: din, marcus m, dave, pero, marcus p, oberyn, max, frankie, whiskey, maxwell, javier, ezra

a/n: idk what caused this to happen but it works i guess. hope they make sense

✨support my ko-fi✨

trust him with your money, your drink, your social security number, everything:

din. this man is barely scraping by on his own when you first meet him. when he adds the kid to the mix, he gets even more frugal than he already is with an old as sin ship that many people are surprised to see fly. he will have a policy of “you earn it, you choose what to do with it” and since he goes after most of (if not all) the bounties to keep you all alive, he has the final say in how most of the credits are spent. he does want you to have nice things though, so he makes sure to configure the budget to where you don’t have to pour your credits into the group’s survival money very often. it’s the least he can do. he’s very big on taking care of his people and will show that in small ways.

marcus m. he’s a single dad for a significant amount of time, he has no choice but to be responsible with his money. he has to take care of missy, keep them both fed and housed and healthy, and that’s not even touching on how expensive all of high school graduation and college will be once she gets there. he teaches missy very early in life how important money is bc he doesn’t want her to ever know how it feels to not have enough. he makes a considerable amount of money w the heroics tho so he can afford to responsibly splurge on you both, but not constantly. is very cautious abt the splurging becoming a habit

dave. yeah he may be a murderer, but he’s scary great at managing his money (to continue being able to murder). he’s got his ex wife’s alimony (that still pisses him off but that’s another story) and two girls he takes care of, there’s no other choice for him either. there’s never a worry about dave having a midlife crisis and spending money on some stupid dad thing (like a motorcycle or assless chaps or a country club membership) because he murders to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. files his taxes diligently every year the day tax season starts and will pass this wisdom to the girls.

pero. he’s very good at judging if you need something or not. if it can’t feed you, keep you healthy, kill someone, or protect you, you don’t need to buy it. definitely not a man who indulges in trinkets and frivolous things that do nothing but weigh down his horse and his person. will encourage this way of thinking with whoever travels with him to whatever extent he can, but won’t be a dick about it if you have something sentimental on your person. if it’s a necessity, he will splurge on a bed and bath at an inn but not much else for a while. cheap because he has to be

marcus p. i don’t think i have to explain this one so i won’t. no i’m not being lazy who said that?

maybe you’ll be fine if he’s in charge. maybe:

oberyn. being a prince (and himself), there are different ways this could go. he spends his money frivolously at brothels & on his daughters + other loved ones (as well as other luxuries) and doesn’t really seem to be the type to keep tabs on it all as he goes. but... he’s a prince in a prosperous kingdom and so there isn’t really a worry for money. he’s known as the red viper for many reasons, including his clever nature and the ease with which he can get what he wants thru whatever means necessary. if you want for something that he can’t buy, you know he will find a way to get it for you (which can be a problem sometimes).

max. he’s good with money in the sense of perpetuating capitalism — that’s the red flag here. hell, he’s gonna be investing into bitcoin and who knows what stock market bs & bc it’s max, of course you trust him. max can’t control the stock market tho, so sometimes things are a little iffy. it always evens itself out though, and you make sure in the future that he invests his money instead of your joint money. he’s still gonna share anyways, it just helps you have a little more peace of mind.

frankie. he just wants to take care of you, okay? you can’t fault him for that 🥺 he maneuvers his budget around to make sure he can do all these nice things for you while leaving his own needs unchecked, which isn’t okay. he just wants to provide for the ppl he loves the best he can, but the problem begins when he starts to think he isn’t doing enough. his insecurity & lack of self-worth (fueled by his guilt for “not being everything you deserve”) is what makes him agree to the Trip™️ in the first place. once he comes back & sees you frantic, only wanting him home and not giving a flying fuck about the money, does he realize that you’re devoted to him and not what he can do for you.

whiskey. working for statesman made him forget what things really cost bc he suddenly never had to worry again about not having enough money. being with someone that isn’t practically made of money will snap him back into reality. he looks at his bank statements and his balance occasionally, but our big spender cowboy hasn’t really counted money as something he worries about for a while. when he constantly showers you in expensive gifts (only the best for his baby, that’s his motto) and you tell him that he has to not do that bc he’ll go broke, he plays it off because he doesn’t remember having to worry. separate bank accounts are only because you want to make sure your money is being spent smartly (even though jack has offered constantly to pay for literally anything you need).

don’t give him anything you want to see again:

maxwell. as much as i love this dork, he’s absolute shit with money. when his business is falling apart (bc he made the stupid ass decision to buy the oil rigs no one wanted bc they weren’t producing oil), he throws it all into saving face and trying to make investors buy into something that isn’t there. what a smart business man would’ve done was liquidate his assets and possibly try to get into a business that will yield at least some profit. he does learn his lesson tho and eventually can be trusted with money, but even he is hesitant to do anything with the household finances. he’s a dreamer, and dreams and money are the same as oil and water.

javier. i know you’re possibly surprised but hear me out. he’ll go all in to get info, whether he’s spending american taxpayer money or his own money or anyone else’s, if it’s valuable info that can be bought, it’s gonna be bought even if he goes without groceries for the next two weeks. before being with you, it was booze and prostitutes and cigarettes that ate away at his checks outside of buying information. the only thing that really changed once you got together was the prostitutes and slightly less cigarettes and booze. however, when he goes back to laredo permanently, he’s perfectly capable of keeping his shit in line. he’ll balance every checkbook in sight and run a tight af ship.

ezra. this man is a scavenger by necessity, a con man by choice. he has a silver tongue and a roguish charm and pretty questionable morals; he’s not gonna have any issue with getting his hands dirty. he’s probably gonna use your joint money to try and pull a fast one on some unsuspecting stranger (“it’ll double our money,” he says, “it’ll be fine,” he says), but then said stranger will end up turning the tables and leave you both absolutely broke. yeah he will feel guilty, no doubt. the only problem is that he won’t take it as a “hey don’t do it again” lesson, it’ll be a “this is how i can improve for next time.” eventually you have to put your foot down and take control of the money and when he realizes that you’re improving your lives much better than he is, he will thank you for it.

all pedro character taglists: @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @leias-left-hair-bun @themarcusmoreno @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @mackstrut @torradoza @simping-for-fives @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @max--phillips @darklingveracruz @book-of-anarchy @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @lv7867 @hornystarwarsbisexual @kaermorons @princess76179 @pedropasscals @greeneyedblondie44 @seasonschange-butpeopledont @qhbr2013 if you don’t want to be tagged, lemme know!! the link to join is in my bio

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expectedbehavior · 3 years

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I was raised by someone who grew up poor (4 kids in rural Louisiana with homemade clothes levels of poor) and who kept that mindset even after they were no longer financially insecure. It heavily influenced how I conceptualize money and purchases, even tho I am also financially secure. (Yes, even despite my objectively ridiculous “collect all the shit” hobbies lol)

INTELLECTUALLY I know that I can afford to purchase things at prices that seem extravagant to my mind. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that I SHOULDN’T do that, because of many interconnecting associations from my childhood — and also due to How Life Be (TM) in the US.

What if The Thing isn’t really worth that amount? (It probably isn’t but how will I know that until I have it?)

Maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough to find it at a better price. (I mean, maybe, but how long do you “look hard enough” before saying “nope this is it.”?)

What if I get in a medical situation after buying it and now I’m in medical debt up to my ears but if I hadn’t bought The Thing I could have avoided it? (Jesus, I hate private healthcare…)

In the end my mind always runs in circles and I end up settling for something cheaper or I hunt for “bargains” secondhand. But sometimes I wish I could get my brain to understand that buying something used for $100 that looked great but probably has hidden issues and needs copious amounts of work is not necessarily “better” than just buying the thing I need new IF I CAN AFFORD TO DO SO.

I 100% recognize that 1) this is completely a First World Problem, 2) something that is not life threatening in any way, and 3) probably going to make people say I’m a whiny privileged kid and to stfu. I am not writing this post to flaunt things. I am writing it to try and force myself to internalize these thoughts that IT’S OK TO BUY THE THINGS I NEED/WANT EVEN IF THEY ARE “EXPENSIVE”. If I can afford to buy the thing at the price it’s listed at, then I should! I don’t HAVE to find a “better deal”, I don’t HAVE to buy secondhand, I don’t HAVE to justify the price. If I need a cabinet I don’t HAVE to go find a $50 one on Craigslist, I can go into a store or buy one online from a retailer. Right?

It’s just that this is how my concept of money and finances and what is “allowed” has worked my entire life. It started with my mother and the fact that literally every piece of clothing I owned was from the clearance rack. Purchasing a shirt at full price? HAH fuck no, go look at the sale rack.

It’s why I feel guilty when I buy a poster or a Hot Toys figure or something completely frivolous EVEN WHEN I HAVE BUDGETED FOR IT because I know they’re expensive, and my brain tells me I am not allowed to buy things that 1) aren’t necessities and 2) aren’t on “sale” or cheap. It doesn’t stop me from spending money on limited edition things — because I know they won’t come around again. But it does stop me from buying expensive yet “common” items like furniture, house items, other necessities like that. It’s why I think of everything I own in bartering terms: how many posters will I need to sell to buy that bookshelf, how many vinyl albums is that couch worth, I just need to sell 2 more things at $X amount to buy the lamp I wanted… 99% of the time I don’t NEED to sell anything to buy the damn lamp, but that’s not how my mind frames it.

I didn’t grow up financially insecure but I was raised as if I was in many ways, and I don’t know to break out of that mindset. Anyone else here know what I’m talking about?

#dear diary #text post #rambling #finances #intergenerational trauma

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ofcloudsandstars · 4 years

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October Magical Dates and Astrological Transits

Welcome to the most fantastic month of the year! My birthday month Halloween month!! We are sandwiched between two powerful full moons that will take us on a journey deep within ourselves to find where our energies could be suppressed, where we feel oppressed and how we can empower and transform ourselves. Each major celestial event feels like part of a chapter of self discovery and empowerment that leaves us shedding away what we no longer need and having to transform ourselves to evolve into an elevated new level.

As usual I will make additional posts on some important days as they come but below is the full month of October!

----

Week 28 - 4

1st - ☾♈ Full moon in Aries Happy Lunar Festival to those who celebrate it!

We kick off October with a full moon!! The fact that this month is framed by full moons and full of transits that force us to confront our buried emotions sets the tone for October and for us to make peace with our shadow sides.

This moon is very special for a number of reasons as it's the Harvest Moon (the full moon near the Autumnal Equinox) and it's the Aries full moon which packs a lot of power. The Aries full moon often asks us to step aside and focus on our needs and goals especially in relation to our partnerships or what we may contribute to a relationship. This full moon may be an aggressive presence in rocky relationships where people's needs may erupt to the surface if they are not being met or honored by their partner.

This fiery moon will be conjunct Mars rx and Chiron in Aries merging our unresolved childhood traumas with our repressed energy and motivations that the mars retrograde brings. Full moons can be cathartic and this can demand us to bring release to what we may have buried away. Challenges can trigger our deep emotions that may get expressed through explosive anger, yet it's a time to take note of what those feelings are and try to heal by making healthy decisions that honor our feelings. This moon will also trine Venus in Leo which will help to smooth it out and bring a pleasant vibe to it's energy. Venus does want to have harmony and trines love unions so in the realm of relationships this can bring a moment of peace or compromise and a window to discuss anything that needs to be addressed in relationships. Finally this full moon may feel intense with the squares coming from Jupiter rx, Saturn and Pluto rx in Capricorn. We may feel burdened by our responsibilities, restrictions (especially with Covid regulations), the powers that be that are constantly avoiding reform. This can also add to the tension of the mars conjunction and feelings of repressed anger or suppressed energy. We will be craving release. It's a good time to focus on how we can redirect our energies to honor our needs especially in relation to our inner child and what needs we were neglecting before. Full moons are great for release and attraction magic so you can use the energy to draw your new reality towards you, however if you are feeling the frustrations of the squares, take a moment to do some visualization meditation to really ground the energy and emotions of the reality you want. Try to avoid going into manifestation carrying that frustration or else it can seep into the reality you are trying to attract your way. With the moon in Aries, it's a great evening for fire-based magic. Candle magic goes well with attraction and manifestation spells.

2nd - ☾♈ Venus enters Virgo

A new sensuous cycle begins as Venus enters Virgo. When Venus is in the sign of healing yet practical virgo, we tend to express our love and care for others through acts of service and being supportive towards each other. We tend to find enjoyment and pleasures in things that are sensual yet practical. We may feel more inclined to treat ourselves through self care that honors our health and physical well-being. We could easily feel guilty if we are too self-indulgent or frivolous in this time. It's a wonderful transit to practice self-love in the everyday tasks such as taking care of our bodies and appreciating wholesome foods and activities. The shadow side of this energy can be us being overly critical of ourselves, picky with our partners or worrisome. However instead of worrying about what we cannot fix, we should try to turn the energy inwards to help nurture ourselves and whichever insecurities arise, find ways to be patient with ourselves and focus on inner healing.

3rd - ☾♉ Pluto direct in Capricorn Moon enters Taurus

The energy of this outer planet is moving direct finally. Though it is still in it's shadow, the period of introspection, inner soul-connecting and facing our deep shadows has come to the end of this phase. It's now time to address the grip of power coming from powerful authorities which dominate our lives and undermine our power. A lot of these themes were already brought to light this year and these themes will grow only more climatic as we approach the year 2024 when Pluto will complete it's return for the USA's government chart. (Even if you don't live in the USA, the impact of these political events can ripple across most of the world). The structures revolving around massive businesses run by oligarchies and police states are slowly decaying and transforming and the period of reflection has come to it's end for now.

4th - ☾♉ Moon in Taurus When the moon is in Taurus, it's a good time for taking things slow and to relax. It's a great time for kitchen magic, earth and plant-based magic and self-care magic.

----------------------- Week 5 - 11

5th - ☾♉ Same as above yet this moon will be void of course so it's a good rest day and best to not start anything new.

6th - ☾♊ Disseminating Moon | Moon Trine Sun Moon enters Gemini

The waning gibbous moon is a great time for taking stock of your progress during this lunar cycle and celebrating any little successes you’ve managed to accomplish so far no matter how small. It’s a lovely vibe for socializing, spreading generosity or just taking the moment to enjoy life. When the moon trines the sun it’s a harmonious time that brings a lot of luck. When you take stock and realize that you may not be where you’d like, then it’s a good time to catch up on work to help you out or do magic to bring opportunities for doors to open for you. It’s a good time to wrap things up or spend time socializing or alone enjoying life!

7th - ☾♊ Mercury in Scorpio opposite Uranus rx in Taurus Draconids Meteor Shower

The combination of Mercury opposite Uranus rx along with a meteor shower can bring unexpected happenings, sudden epiphanies and new insights. This energy can also lead to other unexpected happenings which can bring discord and slight chaoticness. Though today is not a great time to make plans, it is a great time to go with the flow and be open to exciting encounters or changes in our paths that life may bring us. The energies today may bring many surprises and sudden changes that may electrify us as it brings something new to our routine yet it can also impact areas such as transportation or technology and cause it to have issues. Give yourself a bit more time with commuting or patience with electronics today. Magically this is a great time for trance meditation with binural beats to help bring in new insights or activities such as freewriting to get your stream of consciousness out.

8th - ☾♋ Moon Enters Cancer

When the moon is in Cancer it’s a good time for magic around the home such as cleaning and cleansing, kitchen magic and bath magic. It's a great time for self-care rituals and water-based magic.

9th - ☾♋ Last Quarter Moon Mars rx in Aries squares Pluto in Capricorn

Though last quarter moons are generally reflective, this last quarter may feel very intense with Mars rx squaring Pluto in Capricorn. We may feel the same themes of being repressed by authorities or powers that be that surfaced to our consciousness during the Aries full moon being revisited today. We may reflect on how these powers have suppressed our energies in the past and contemplate how to overcome them today. It's a great day for road-opening and barrier breaking magic to get rid of obstacles in our way.

10th - ☾♋ Venus in Virgo trines Uranus rx in Taurus

This transit bring a lot of benefits for us to try new things or meet new people that can help us push our boundaries and broaden our perspectives. It's a great time to honor our values and individuality (especially in the themes of our health and work ethics) by exploring new hobbies or anything outside our usual routine. This is a great time for creativity and experimentation especially in the areas of you connecting with your individuality.

11th - ☾♌ Sun in Libra squares Jupiter in Capricorn Moon enters Leo

Today is gonna feel dramatic and optimistic yet with a shadowy side to dive into excess and pump things up. Jupiter squares tend to add gas to the flame which is great for our enthusiasm and energy levels yet it can lead to over abundance, over confidence, over spending and over indulgence. Paired with the moon entering dramatic Leo and our confidence levels and disregard for our usual restraints may fly out the window. (HAha it's my birthday today...) It's a great day for partying and enjoying life yet also knowing when to pull the plug. Make sure to budget yourself wisely today, put on lucky or protective charms and not over indulge. It's a great time to show gratitude and make offerings towards the spirits that look over you.

----------------------- Week 12 - 18

12th - ☾♌ Balsamic Moon | Moon Sextile Sun Jupiter in Capricorn sextiles Neptune rx in Pisces Mercury in Scorpio sextiles Venus in Virgo

The Balsamic Moon is the waning crescent moon after the last quarter moon. It's the perfect time until the new moon to shed what you no longer need. It's a time of taking action for banishing, cleansing and shedding. The next few days will have aspects that will push us to face our shadow selves along with hidden traumas and ask for us to shed what is no longer needed. With the Jupiter and Neptune rx sextile, it will make it a dreamy and magical day. It would be an excellent day for magic, celebration and exploring our creativity and path. Jupiter will want us to expand on our creativity and connection to our spiritual side today with it's sextile with Neptune rx. Anything ranging from divination, trance meditation, astral projection, dream magic and journeying would be a great idea today as the energies will encourage us to experiment. Mercury will also sextile Venus which will push us to want to deeply explore our connection to sensual pleasures in a healthy and practical way and maybe create that connection between what is healthy, wholesome and practical which can enrich our minds and connect us with our souls. Today is a great day to plan a ritual, do meditation and any type of magic that encourages you to explore yourself and your boundaries.

13th - ☾♍ Sun in Libra opposite Mars rx in Aries Moon enters Virgo

Mars will be incredibly bright in the sky this evening as the sun moves opposite it. We may notice a red star shining brighter than usual in the evening sky as the sun fully illuminates the retrograding planet. However energetically this aspect can bring up external events that can force us to reckon with our sources of motivation, our source of drive and repressed energy or anger. Where we may feel that our energy is stifled or repressed can come out unexpectedly through events that may trigger us to face this aspect of ourselves. With the moon now in virgo we may be able to look at these passionate emotions through an analytical yet healing perspective. We can easily find solutions to express our emotions and understand them in a clearer light. Today would be a great day for shadow work in understanding our repressed energy and how we can find a solution to express and release it.

14th - ☾♍ Mercury retrogrades in Scorpio

Every other planet this year has had some time off so it's no surprise Mercury is ready to join the club. Mercury is about to go retrograde for the next few weeks, diving us into our deep underworld to face the shadows hidden in our psyche. Eventually it will retrograde back into Libra forcing us to re-evaluate our personal values and relationships. Whatever shadows that are unaddressed lurking in the corners of our mind will come out now to be reckoned with. Just in time for the spooky season!

15th - ☾♎ Sun in Libra squares Pluto in Capricorn Moon enters Libra

To add to the flavor of yesterday, today we get to experience the INTENSE square of the Sun and Pluto locking horns. This energy can trigger fears of being controlled against our will or more aware of our shadows that may bring up our need for control. There could potentially be ego conflicts with other powerful people or authority figures that will tighten their grip on everything. We could either feel pigeon-holed today which can create challenges that force us to either defend ourselves or make a major change or cause us to crave power in order to control the situation around us. If desires for power emerge today, pay attention to what your shadow self is telling you and reflect on the source of these deep rooted fears. Is it coming from past negative events? Traumas? Even past lives? Is it from current events? Working out what negative emotions may arise today can give us insight on the general theme of this month of where we feel that our energy is repressed and how we can make changes to break free from our current shackles. (There is also this theme coming from Uranus still being in retrograde as well). Additionally the moon will have entered Libra and begun it's new moon phase and will be opposite Mars rx today so there will be emotions emerging from repressed energy that we will be more aware of and be able to observe. With mercury retrograding in Scorpio it will be a great time for shadow work today as well.

16th - ☾♎ New Moon in Libra Sun in Libra opposite Chiron rx in Aries

The moon will be opposite the sun today as it begins it's new cycle in Libra. The new moon in Libra asks us to review our values, what makes us balanced and our relationships for this cycle. This libra season our values have been questioned, along with perhaps, our stance in situations or previous compromises which could have undermined our freedoms and repressed our emotions. We will be asked during this new cycle to re-align with our values, evaluate the relationships that still align with our best selves and make changes in areas that do not reflect our values or that may suppress us. This moon will also square Jupiter, Saturn and then Pluto in Capricorn tying together the themes of where we may feel burdened and oppressed. Especially with the global political climate it's a good time to see where our complacency has lost us our freedoms and where we need to take action to ensure us a better future.

This new cycle may feel more confrontational than the usually harmonious libran energies we are used to. The Sun will be opposite Chiron rx in Aries bringing us potential sudden external events which could trigger our inner trauma, show us where we need to heal physically and mentally and make us more aware of adversity that we need to overcome. We may be brought to more awareness of what trauma could have fed the shadow sides or toxic traits that have been holding us back. As we are in Shadow Work/Shedding season it’s a good time to look into these traits during the beginning of this cycle and shed away what no longer holds value for us.

17th - ☾♏ Eros enters Virgo Moon enters Scorpio

The lil' asteroid of passions and inner fire moves into Virgo today shifting our inner fuel to find more spark in the areas of life revolving around service our health and practicality. We may be more reasonable and solution-oriented while pursuing our passions. We may find more interest in sex that is acts of service towards our partner or healthy exercise embedded in our routine. With the moon entering Scorpio it's a good time for sex magic and shadow work.

18th - ☾♏ Venus in Virgo opposite Neptune rx in Pisces Sun in Libra squares Saturn in Capricorn

Today may feel like it will drag on forever with the hard Sun and Saturn square bringing a dull desaturated filter to the world. We may feel restricted and burdened by our responsibilities or by authority. This may feel extra unpleasant with the new wave of Covid that may look to restrict our freedoms and make us worried about our stability. Additionally Venus will be opposite Neptune's Retrograde which is a recipe for some messiness. This could be a helpful time of reflection where we could have been seeing another person (or even more abstractly- a business, an idea or alignment of whatever) through rose-colored lenses that could be ripped away by this transit. We can finally see them for who they are and how they might have hoodwinked us in the past. On a negative side if we haven't yet learned the lesson this opposition can be the recipe for scammers or more people to come and take advantage through glamours and tricks. Be wary of your spending today, your boundaries, your CREDIT CARD INFORMATION ONLINE lol (negative Neptune transits ALWAYS brings out the scammers), and make sure to put up your wards today. It can be a day that drags on forever and may feel a bit gloomy especially with the moon still in Scorpio but you can help it go by quickly by working with the Venus and Neptune rx opposition to seeking out art that aligns with your values or spiritual beliefs. Watch films that make you feel magical or paint, draw, write, create what you love when you get a moment. If the Saturn square makes creating anything too difficult then watching a movie or favorite show can help with the escapism.

----------------------- Week 19 - 25

19th - ☾♐ Venus in Virgo trine Jupiter in Capricorn Mars rx in Aries squares Jupiter in Capricorn Ceres direct in Aquarius Moon enters Sagittarius

Though yesterday could have felt heavy, today the energy will feel Spectacular!! The mood will shift to being more lighthearted and optimistic with the moon now in shimmering Sagittarius. The jupiter energy may feel a bit more fiery and sparkling than usual with Jupiter squaring Mars rx which will only swell our inner desires and passionate emotions and drives that will need to explode outward!! If we are feeling repressed, there is no hiding that energy any longer with this volcanic transit! However to help bring some joy to this energy we have Venus in Virgo trining Jupiter bringing harmony to our values and creating luck in areas of generosity, spending time with loved ones and honoring our values and what we love. This is a day asking you to align yourself with what makes you feel most authentic. Lastly the little dwarf planet Ceres goes direct finally so we will feel that boost in areas of being nurturing and caring towards others especially in regards to our roles in our community. Now that we have took some time to nurture ourselves during it's retrograde, it's time to consider how we can contribute our support to our communities.

20th - ☾♐ Waxing Crescent Moon | Sun Sextile Moon

With the moon in Sagittarius during this waxing crescent period, it's an excellent time to experiment! Review on what you've reflected on or what intentions you've set during the new moon in Libra (aligning with our values and relationships that serve our greatest good / seeking harmony and justice and not compromise for the sake of "peace") and try out new things that align with your goals. Especially after yesterday's transits we may have a better idea of what those things are and with the moon in Sagittarius we may feel more aligned with our personal philosophies and faith. Optimistic Sagittarius will want you to expand on these ideas and experiment in any way you can!

21st - ☾♑ Venus in Virgo trines Pluto in Capricorn Moon enters Capricorn

With the moon still in it's waxing crescent experimental phase, we may get a boost of intense and incredible energy asking us to reconnect to ourselves on a soul level. With Venus trining Pluto we get that added intensity and passion connecting us with our values on a visceral, powerful soul level. Anything that can bring us joy and satisfaction or loved ones or beliefs can be connected with on a deeply intimate level. A new relationship during this time would be very intense (great time for a soul mate), yet on a negative side this transit can give power to obsessions which we must be aware of how to curb if it goes too far. However today is an excellent day for love-attraction magic if you want something deep and intense, decorating our space to have meaning or reflect our values or express ourselves in any genuine way. This is a good time for soul-searching, attraction magic, sex magic and anything art-based.

22nd - ☾♑ Orionids Meteor Shower

With the moon in Capricorn, it's a good time for organization, addressing our tasks and responsibilities, ancestor magic, earth and mineral based magic and during the void of course, reviewing our work this cycle so far. The Orionids Meteor Shower can bring in energy from beyond to help us broaden our insight. If you catch a glimpse of a 'shooting star' make a wish!

23rd - ☾♒ Sun enters Scorpio First Quarter Moon Moon enters Aquarius

We enter the Spooky Season officially as the sun enters the dark and mysterious Scorpio. This season marks the middle of autumn where everything is starting to wither and decay, the nights are growing longer and we are feeling the chilly winds that kick up the skeletons of dead leaves. With Mercury retrograde in Scorpio still the deep underworld themes of Scorpio will feel strong as we are asked to face our inner shadows as we descend into the darkness. Today also marks the first quarter moon in Aquarius. Looking back at the New Moon in Libra we can think on the themes of us aligning with our values and people that support and reflect that as well and with the first quarter moon that theme will ask us to strategize on how we can express these unique part of ourselves as part of our roles in our community. The themes of the community may be brought to the surface with this first quarter moon and many people may want to take action, however this moon phase is best for reflection and taking that pent-up energy to strategize. There is always a time for action during the waxing gibbous phase when energies are more harmonious. If you are feeling blocked and restricted during this square it's a good time for barrier-breaking magic to dissolve any obstacles in your way. Focus on what opportunities you'd like to attract or what you need to move forward and do magic to bring that your way or break through whatever is holding you back.

24th - ☾♒ Venus in Virgo trines Saturn in Capricorn

This is an excellent day to work on your self love, self confidence and commitment to your values with Venus trining Saturn. If you have been having a rocky relationship with others it's a good time to work out the rough patches. This is also a good day for artists that may be procrastinating on work or that put a project to the side to continue building on it. Additionally it's a great day for love attraction magic (or any attraction magic with this theme: ) with a type of relationship that is long lasting, committed and reliable.

25th - ☾♓ Sun conjuncts Mercury rx in Scorpio Moon enters Pisces

The theme of our inner descent will be front and center today with the sun conjunct Mercury rx in Scorpio. It's a good time to take the day slowly, not make any serious plans and do some self reflection and shadow work. Whatever emotions that may arise we need to bring awareness to and release what no longer serves us. Especially during this time of year it's a great time to be aware of our shadows, make peace with repressed energies and release toxic beliefs that are holding us back. The day may also feel a bit melancholy with the moon's added energy entering Pisces. We may feel like we could be drowning in our darkness and the shadows of others around us. We may be more aware of others shadow selves and be influenced a little easier by their presence due to pisces's nature of dissolving boundaries. If others that are not aware of these qualities of themselves suddenly lash out today, it's best to carry some obsidian, put protective wards around yourself and keep to your safe corner.

----------------------- Week 26 - 1st

26th - ☾♓ Waxing Gibbous Moon | Sun Trine Moon

Whatever you have been reflecting on, strategizing and working on, now it's time to put those plans into action with the sun trining the moon! This aspect brings a lot of luck, harmony and magic in the mundane to spring out today. If you put plans into action, make the first move, release something new, then there is a lot of potential for great things to fall into place. If you may have been feeling blocked or frustrated on the first quarter moon, this phase may help you with new insight on how you can progress forward. If you did barrier-breaking magic to dissolve obstacles on the first quarter moon, you may see wonderful results or sudden 'open-doors' appear today. Keep on look out today for opportunities sent by the universe! Use lucky charms and glamours and send out good energy to attract it back to you.

27th - ☾♓

Today is an excellent day for rest with the moon in Pisces. There are no demanding transits and with this being the last day of the moon in this sign, there will be a void of course that will ask us to slow down and chill out. Pisces energy loves to day dream, nap and escape so it's a good day to indulge in some bath magic, take restful naps, smoke or watch something light hearted.

28th - ☾♈ Mercury retrograde enters Libra Venus enters Libra Moon enters Aries

Venus reunites with it's home sign Libra bringing the themes of harmony, partnerships, justice and values to a crescendo in this part of the cycle. Mercury rx will re-enter Libra bringing these themes to the surface of our mind as we reflect on these aspects of our lives. It's a good time for introspection in these areas, shadow work, understanding any current challenges regarding these themes for ourselves, especially as we move closer to the full moon that tends to bring out external challenges and themes with it's opposition. This day will tie back AGAIN with the initial full moon starting this month off and all of the other points and themes about our repressed energies and how we align with our values as the Moon enters Aries and creates an opposition with mercury rx in Libra. We will be able to connect dots on how our previous compromises or alignments could have repressed our true passions and energies and we may have to face sudden bursts of anger or hidden fire that we weren't aware of before, yet it could shed light on our current journey.

29th - ☾♈

When the Moon is in Aries it's a great time for channeling courage, hexing, fire-based magic and creating new things. However as this is the end of the moon's transit in Aries as it faces it's void of course which wants us to rest and reflect, it's a good time to reflect on our inner drive and our repressed emotions and how we can healthily release them. This void of course is a good time to reflect on the themes of the last full moon in Aries and how you have integrated what you've manifested into your life.

30th - ☾♉ Moon enters Taurus

With the moon in Taurus it's a great time to take things slowly and relax. It's a great time for kitchen magic, earth and plant-based magic and self-care magic.

31st - ☾♉ 🎃 HALLOWEEN 🎃 Full Moon in Taurus Sun in Scorpio opposite Uranus rx in Taurus

It's HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!! And to top it off it's a powerful Blue Moon! (A Blue Moon is a Full Moon that occurs twice in a month!) A Blue Moon is powerful showing second chances, boosted luck and new windows of opportunity so this is a fantastic time for release, casting spells, banishing or any type of magic! In this post here where I compare the sabbats to the lunar cycle, Halloween reflects that balsamic moon period where it's time to shed, banish and release, so tonight we can banish what no longer serves us and bind what seeks to strip us of our power. We may feel very inspired after this whole month of self transformation and looking at our repressed energies and what is binding us in it's brutal authority. It's time to break those barriers apart! With the Taurus full moon we are asked to look at our resources and what we value physically and if that aligns with our soul. What materialistic things or paths were we clinging on to? Do they reflect our most authentic selves? This will be brought into question and be brought to change with the Sun opposite Uranus rx (also this full moon conjunct Uranus rx) forcing us to undergo transformation which can help break old habits, old mindsets, expand our perspectives and evolve. A bit like a death and rebirth which is in theme for Halloween. With this opposition, this can bring unexpected and exciting encounters or events that will shake up our worlds. We may have to suddenly adapt to change as a new chapter and reality get brought into our lives. It could either bring havoc or freedom, however if it's something that could trigger a negative response in you, you may have to consult that shadow side and see if there is a trait you may need to let go or that is holding you back from evolving. However just to protect yourself it's always good to carry some protective charms and wards especially on a day like Halloween.

____________________

#october #celestial #astrology #transits #full moon #halloween #witchcraft #magic #celestial witch #space witch

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andimlonely · 4 years

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The Best Kind of Gift

BNHA; Momo Yaoyorozu x f!reader | Feeling guilty after she buys you an expensive new backpack, you confront Momo about her frequently spending money on you.

✿ Fluff

A/N: This is the first BNHA piece I’m publishing and I really like how it turned out! I might write something similar for Todoroki because the concept suits him, hehe. Anyway, I hope you like it! (art by me)

It started with a simple remark.

“Wow, (f/n), I like your new backpack,” Mina smiles as she stands over you while you loop the laces of your shoe together.

You return your friend’s smile. “Thanks, Mina.”

“It’s so stylish,” she chirps, “How’d you afford it? That brand is pretty expensive, isn’t it?”

“Oh, um, it was a gift,” you admit, the lavishness of the item really dawning on you like it did when you first received it, “From Momo.”

Her mouth falls open, dark eyes like saucers full of ink, “Really?? Wish she’d buy me something cute like that. Still, that was super nice of her!”

“Y-yeah, I know, right?”

It wasn’t that you hadn’t noticed your best friend’s generosity towards you before then; in fact, you were well aware of Momo’s very.. different spending habits the moment you two started becoming close and spending more time together.

Maybe you had become a little too used to her frequently buying things for you, or paying for most of the things you do together regardless of if you asked her to or not, but Mina’s innocent comments brought you back to reality. Since that exchange this morning, all you can think about is how guilty you feel for letting her, well, spoil you.

But it isn’t as if you had never brought it up before! Every time it was the same,

“Nonsense, (y/n). Sometimes it’s worth paying more to ensure quality,” she would assure you with a conviction that convinced you only sometimes.

If it wasn’t that, she told you, with a more lighthearted tone, “Don’t worry about it. It’s no trouble at all.”

You had never known someone who so frequently treated you to things before, which is partially to blame for why you’ve come to accept this habit of hers. Of course it feels nice to receive so much, but it’s more to you than the temporary joy of getting something you wanted. Every time she offers you something, whether it’s as small as a simple ramen lunch or as expensive as a new backpack from that cute boutique a few blocks away, you feel kind of.. special.

Despite her wealth, Momo isn’t very frivolous at all. She certainly spends more than the average student in your class, but she’s far from careless with her money and only rarely splurges on clothes or accessories, or anything she doesn’t need. Of course, she’s used to finer things, so there are foods or miscellaneous necessities she buys that could easily be replaced by a more cost-effective version or brand, but even then she’s still budgeting herself - she just has a lot more wiggle room than you, and most of the other people in your class.

The only times she seems to forget her financial responsibility is when she’s out with you, and you inevitably point out how cute some plushy is, or how much you like that skirt, with no motive but to acknowledge the things that catch your eye. Sometimes all it takes is a prolonged look at an item and she’s offering to get it for you. And while most times you’re able to refuse with no problem, there are times when your raven-haired best friend won’t hear of it. Admittedly, you’re guilty of not even protesting sometimes too.

So despite your appreciation, your talk with Mina this morning erased all the normalcy of Momo’s excessive generosity, and since then, you’ve been working up the nerve to talk to her about it. Only this time, you won’t let her take no for an answer; you’re done being selfish.

Luckily for you, the final exam paper has been handed in and Aizawa has officially dismissed your class for the day. While you pack up your pencils and eraser, Momo appears at your side, a bright smile painted on her lips.

“So (y/n), how are you feeling? Do you think our study session paid off?”

“I do, there was really only one question I struggled with,” you reply contentedly, slinging your bag - this cursed new backpack that you feel guilty just looking at - over your shoulder.

Your taller friend clasps her hands, “That’s wonderful! See, I told you it would be worth reviewing our notes.”

The two of you exit the classroom together after bidding your classmates a quick bye and see you later, discussing the questions you were most confident about your answers to as you make your way off campus and into the busy streets.

Friday afternoons are almost always reserved for strolling through town with your friends for awhile, usually with Mina or Jirou, but Momo often tags along too when she isn’t too busy. Today neither of the other girls were available, and usually that wouldn’t have bothered you because you always have fun alone with Momo, but today it gives you no excuse not to confront her spending habit.

“Oh, (y/n), didn’t you mention yesterday that you could go for a smoothie? We should go buy one.”

“Ah, did I?,” you chuckle nervously, “I don’t remember, but I’m okay! I had a big lunch, so..”

She chuckles, “You’re so forgetful. But alright, if you say so. If you don’t mind, there was somewhere specific I wanted to visit today.”

“Oh? Where to?”

“It’s a secret,” she smiles, a delicate finger to her lips.

Your head tilted, you quirk a brow. “You have secrets, Momo? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Of course, (y/n). There’s always more than what meets the eye.”

You continue to pass through the lively streets, lined with the shops you tend to visit from time to time, eyes shining as you listen to your friend animatedly recount a story about her somewhat chaotic recent family function. At first you were following it completely, but somewhere along the way her words started to fade away, her face the only thing you register. She doesn't seem to notice though.

“Oh, it’s that store you really like,” she points, “Would you like to go take a look inside?”

The word flies from your lips faster, and more loudly, than you intended. “No!”

Momo blinks, to which you continue sheepishly, “I mean.. I went there with Mina the other day, so there’s not much to see.”

“Then maybe you’d like to visit the Sanrio store?,” she suggests.

“Mm, not today.”

The taller female’s expression dims, but she recovers slightly. “Is there anywhere you do want to go?”

Now is the perfect time to slip in your confrontation. But you just aren’t sure how to work it in so that it sounds casual. After all, you don’t want to come off as ungrateful, or anything, and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

“Not in particular. I just wanted to take a walk mostly.”

She had noticed you seemed distracted today, so much so that she worried your concentration during the exam would be hindered. And now, with you not seeming very interested in going places you enjoy frequenting, it’s certain there’s something on your mind.

A minute of silence passes, the only words in the air from the people you pass by, before Momo speaks up. “(y/n), is something wrong? Are you not feeling well?”

It’s no use being indirect or dismissing it now. You might not have another chance as opportune as this one to say it.

“No.. It’s just, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

She stops walking, prompting you to do the same and stand with her at the corner of a gift shop, shaded by the awning that hangs from its facade. It felt less personal to keep walking along while you shared your concerns; she wants to speak face to face.

“What is it?”

“Well.. I’ve been thinking about.. how you always buy me things,” you state awkwardly.

Momo seems completely puzzled by your vague statement. “Yes?”

You had hoped that alone would somehow be enough for her to guess what you were hinting at, but you have to accept that there’s no way around explicitly telling her. ‘How can I put this?…’

“Momo, you buy me things too often and I feel bad and guilty, and I should have refused you more but I’m selfish sometimes,” you blurt, the words fleeing from your lips like they’re afraid to be spoken any later. For all the time your mind was consumed with expressing this to her today, it came out a lot more tactlessly than you wanted it to.

Your eyes are glued to the ground. You can’t bring yourself to look up, partially because of how poorly you expressed yourself and partially because you’re afraid of her reaction.

“I think I understand.”

Your head shoots up, “You do?”

Her eyebrows tugged upwards, she nods, “You feel offended by me constantly buying gifts for you. I didn’t mean to insinuate you couldn’t afford them yourself, although realistically you couldn’t afford to factor some of them in due to your budget, but I digress. I’m sorry I offended you, (y/n).”

Offended?!

A groan resounds in your mind as she misunderstands you. You were never offended by her offers, and you’re not even offended by her pretty directly calling you broke, because it’s just the objective truth, sadly. At least she said it politely.

“No, Momo, it’s not that.. I meant that I can’t accept you buying me things anymore. You spend too much on me, and the things we do together, and I feel really guilty for being so selfish, especially since I can only afford to do the same every now and then. It isn’t your fault I feel guilty, of course - it’s mine. I just want you to know that you don’t need to buy me anything anymore.”

Finally confessing this washes a wave of relief over you, until her lips falter and your chest is wracked with guilt. Maybe you should have put it more gently?

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, her head bowed slightly. Silky strands of her black fringe hang over her right eye as she smiles bittersweetly. “To be honest, I hadn’t even realized I did that until not too long ago. It always felt natural to me. To me, getting gifts for people you care about is just something you do, to express affection, and I don't really need to think about it, because I know it makes others happy."

She smiles, almost sadly, "I never felt like you expected anything from me. So I didn't mind buying things for you. I know that you truly like me, and I.. wanted to express the same to you, just differently."

Momo speaks from the remembrance of painful memories, being no stranger to being taken advantage of or lied to only to find out she was wanted only for her family’s money. For every genuine friendship she had, there were about 5 that were short-lived and one-sided instead. People crafting smiles and lacing their words with bold admiration that unraveled the moment she was away from them.

"Momo.."

Her words send your heart fluttering. You can fully understand where she's coming from, not that you didn’t have any idea before.

"But, (y/n), I should be honest with you.. I’ve been withholding my true feelings for you, ones I couldn’t work up the confidence to just tell you. So I used those gifts instead, because it was less intimidating to me.”

“True feelings?,” you murmur, your heart pounding violently against your chest. Does she mean --? Is she really saying..?

The moment of truth. Pink tinges her face as she braces herself to finally confess to you. With a tilt of her head, onyx irises shining and sincere, the words flutter from her lips like newborn butterflies, lovely and nervous as they dance through the air.

“(y/n), I love you.”

You press your trembling hands to your chest as it bursts with an almost painful joy, only pulled from the daze by the realization that she could have meant it platonically. But you hope she didn’t, you pray she didn’t. “You mean, as more than a friend?”

Everyone else seems to fade away, her heartbeat the only thing that reminds her that time is only passing slowly in her mind. “Yes.”

“Momo,” you breathe, “I love you, too.”

Like magnets, your mutual confession draws you together in a tight embrace, a giggle bubbling up from your chest. You stay locked in her arms a little longer, until she pulls away, smiling sheepishly.

“I guess this isn’t the best timing, but I actually have something for you.”

You give her a pout, eyes incredulous as she produces a long and thin black box from her messenger bag. “Momo!”

Just because you’re aware of each other’s feelings now doesn’t mean your point from before is nullified. If anything, she should feel less inclined to give you presents because you know she loves you without them.

“Don’t worry, this didn’t cost me anything. I made it myself.”

You open the box to reveal a delicate silver chain and locket, engraved beautifully with intricate swirls and flowers. Every moment spent researching its composition is worth it as she watches you marvel at the necklace.

“It’s so beautiful.. How long did it take you to figure this out?”

The girl waves her hand dismissively. It may have taken her hours, but you didn’t need to fret over that. “It wasn’t nearly as difficult as it seems. It was supposed to be a Valentine present, but I didn’t finish in time. Do you like it?”

“Of course I do! I can’t believe you made this yourself,” you say, pressing a kiss timidly to her cheek that has Momo adorably flustered, “Thank you. I love it.”

“I love you,” she murmurs, pulling you softly against her again, leaning her head against yours and exhaling.

“Should we get lunch to celebrate?”

“Momo!,” you scold, lifting your head to give her a stern frown, that soon fades into one of contemplation as you realize you are kind of hungry, “..maybe something small. But I’m paying for myself!”

An endeared laugh escapes your friend - girlfriend’s lips, “Deal.”

#bnha imagine #bnha fanfic #momo yaoyorozu x reader #momo x reader #momo imagine #bnha fluff #mha imagine #mha fluff #fluff #x reader #momo yaoyorozu #bnha fanart #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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blazehedgehog · 5 years

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How do you feel about GTAV almost 6 years later? Does it hold up or do you see flaws you didn't when you first played? Also, how do you feel about Rockstar being scummy with the casino they introduced in GTA Online?

I’d been sitting, waiting for GTAV on PC to get cheap enough where I wouldn’t feel guilty for double dipping after owning it on 360. That actually happened in June-ish, and I started replaying it, albiet very slowly.

It holds up a lot better than GTAIV does, I’ll tell you that.

What strikes me is just how much money Rockstar spent on that game, clearly in excess. The game is absolutely stuffed to the brim with tiny, one-off details that nobody would ever see. Some of it was undoubtedly added for the PC/Xbox One/PS4 ports that increased the overall detail, but still.

On one hand, it makes Los Santos feel like a living, breathing space. Every road, every sidewalk, every corner store feels important. At the same time, though, it is at the heart of a crossroads between whether or not any of this makes the game more fun to play.

It’s tremendous just getting out of your car and exploring the streets of GTAV in first person. There’s nothing like it. But when you get bored of doing that, what’s left?

There’s no changing the fact that there are places on the map that, at least in single player, are totally empty. They serve no purpose. There’s stadiums, horse racing tracks, and yes, that casino. Obviously these are spaces that now sometimes have functions in GTA Online, but six years ago they didn’t, and it’s possible they were never meant to. You can’t tell me that six years ago Rockstar was honestly planning on opening the casino in GTA Online now.

Which is the number one problem I’ve always had with this game, and it was technically a problem I had with GTA4, too: they’re smaller games. There’s less to do in them. Some of that makes sense, given the increase in development costs. All games have technically shrunk in scope (hello, Skyrim).

But Rockstar went out of their way to spend money on frivolous things. And, obviously, they’d already built a lot of these locations. If you happen to go to the dog track in the original Xbox 360 version, it’s got a really eerie feeling to it. All of the ambient sounds disappear, no pedestrians spawn anywhere inside of it, it feels kind of unfinished. Obviously if it’s there, it was probably for something, but they didn’t have the resources to make it work.

But they had enough time and money to produce something like an hour’s worth of fake TV shows and fake movies for the player to watch. They created entire named NPCs that aren’t involved in missions, but have unique designs, unique animations, and sometimes minutes worth of dialog you may never hear.

Again, these are all really cool details! But you also have to stop and think about priorities. If cutting down on these unique one-off details gave me more missions, more actual gameplay, I might take it. Because once you hear the sidewalk preacher give his sermon once, you don’t need to hear it again, and it doesn’t really provide a whole lot of additional fun, either.

Because that’s the long and short of it, really: there just doesn’t feel like there’s enough game in GTAV. It’s a big game, there’s tons of atmosphere, but you run out of things to do pretty quickly (especially for Franklin). The ending doesn’t even feel like an ending, it just kind of trails off in to a wet fart. The story has nothing to say and our characters don’t learn anything or meaningfully grow as people. There needed to be more side activities, there needed to be more heists (which were planned), there needed to be real single player DLC (which was teased)!

Instead, Rockstar poured everything they had in to GTA Online, something that is apparently an insane nightmare to actually try playing, especially on PC where hacking is easy, rampant, and usually unpunished.

And even though I think there’s a lot about GTAV that’s still pretty fun, it’s difficult NOT to be incredibly bitter about the whole game.

That’s not even touching on, like, the trend since GTAIV of telling serious crime dramas in a world still obsessed with teenager toilet humor. GTAV in particular feels like, because the game has so much detail, that bar of quality for jokes was astoundingly low. There are so many places to put jokes now that they couldn’t just hire one person to make up funny things for all of them, so it feels like whatever the person assigned to that section could come up with, they used. It leads to a lot of stuff that is tragically unfunny or just plain stupid because a dozen people who have never written a joke in their lives are painting these textures. And its everywhere! On everything!

Meanwhile the actual storywriters of GTA sit, noses firmly in the air, sipping expensive brandy and smoking cigars, pretending they’re writing Goodfellas or something, while they have fake airliners named after farts, fake internet services named after piss, and fake electronics companies named after boners.

At this point the casino in GTA Online doesn’t even surprise me. Spend real money on fake money to buy fake casino tokens to gamble. Just the worst. GTA Online made this one of the most profitable games of all time and apparently it wasn’t enough money for them.

It’s gonna take a lot more than just an outrageous development budget for me to care about GTA6.

#questions #grand theft auto #rockstar #take 2 interactive #t2 #gta online #gottaspeedkeed

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itsthesinbin · 5 years

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sometimes i feel kinda guilty of like... only using my money to buy games, because at the moment I can’t really use that money for much else. i dont have an id so i couldnt activate that paypal card and can’t pull that money out to use in stores.

but like... then i remember that, even if i’m using it for frivolous things, i’m earning this money to do with as i please.

yeah i do have a spending problem, because i just get so excited like “oh my god i have my own money”, and tend to just... splurge on something without saving it. but... i did start taking commissions TO get spending money for stuff i WANT.

yeah i’m trying to get better about saving for stuff i NEED, but i started doing this so i can actually have fun and not have to like... rely on my family’s tight budget, or my friends, to get me things. i know most of them don’t mind but i just... god i feel like a mooch most of the time.

so i do need to save a bit more, but im trying to let myself just... enjoy what i get, without feeling guilty immediately after i buy something

#mod talks

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cheaperthanwine · 4 years

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Bougie on a Budget

"If men ever needed a reason to understand why women are a bit expensive and need 'maintenance,' just remind them what we looked like in June of 2020." -- Jennifer Lea

Seven years ago, I sat next to a woman I hardly knew (who is today one of my best friends) during my first MBA class and couldn’t stop staring at her eyelashes. They were gorgeous, full, long, and like nothing I had ever seen. Seriously, my mascara didn’t do that no matter how much I curled and applied. What the hell did she have going on? After the second class, I finally mustered the courage to ask her and when she let out her secret of “eyelash extensions” I knew I had to have them! I gifted them to myself when I graduated the class 18 months later. So, for six years, I have gone every two weeks to get them “filled” and never lifted a tube of mascara again.

Fast forward to 2020 and enter COVID and the end of all “maintenance services” for a solid four months. Oh, and a divorce. And a new house. Since my magician, I mean esthetician, reopened three months ago I have had an internal debate almost daily about whether or not to put my lashes back on. My free samples of mascara from Sephora were fine, weren’t they? I shouldn’t spend money on something so frivolous when I am accumulating debt for new kitchen cabinets. What is someone going to think when I talk about my fiscally responsible ways of saving money on my house by doing so much of my own work and yet spending money on myself? I don’t have time to sleep, let alone take time to get my lashes done. And so the argument went on until I finally decided, no, I am putting them back on. This is the one, and I mean the one, indulgence I do for myself. Once every 10 days I go lay down on a bed, close my eyes, and let someone pamper me. This “someone” happens to now be one of my dear friends who has been through my life with me the past 6 years every other week with me. You think you tell your hairdresser everything? Oh no, my esthetician truly knows all and still loves me for it. And, you know what, I’m also supporting a local business owned by an amazing woman who helps empower women everyday, just like I try to do.

So, judge me or don’t, but I put my lashes back on today, I feel a million times better and I’m not going to feel guilty for one more minute about it. We absolutely must do things for ourselves to get through this thing called life and whatever it is that you need to do that, DO IT!

#womenempowerment #womenencouragingwomen #womenempoweringwomen #wakeupwithmakeup #empoweringwomen #livingbeautifully

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priceforrottenjudgement · 6 years

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just dropping in to say

Happy holidays and all that to all of you

stay on for some cringey ramble stuff after the cut

seriously, its dumb, dont read it unless you want to cringe hard

ok so christmas was as stressful as every year, but on top of the full brunt of family this was also the first year the amount of presents i got got radically cut down. you see my mom kind of decided for our entire family (like nobody except her was that thrilled about the idea) to stop giving nieces and nephews presents once they turn 22. i mean it makes sense. at some point you gotta stop. i still get stuff from my parents and grandparents, my sister and friends. only this year my mother decided that the gift i would get was 2 pairs of glasses. which i didnt exactly need. i mean my eyesight got worse, but not drastically and i could have just gotten new lenses in my old glasses. but no. i need 2 brand new ones. (i dont even like wearing glasses. i hate the fact that i need them and will put them down as soon as i dont need them anymore)

i even signalled her before even entering the shop (originally just to have my eyesight checked) that i wasnt interested in any new glasses. i didnt even want to go into the shop, but she insisted. now my mother knows i’m incapable of saying no to a salesperson, has seen it happen many times. so me being confronted by both a salesperson and my mother trying to convince me to get new glasses was a sure way to get me to say yes to them even though i didnt actually want or need them.

so we got them and my mother just said “oh i’ll pay for those, it’ll be your christmas present.” and on the inside i was like ‘great.’. so we left the shop and the first thing my mother said to me was “thats not what you wanted for a present, was it?” and i had been trying to talk myself out of feeling disappointed before that (because i wasnt gonna be the brat who is ungrateful for any kind of present) but what did she expect me to say? ‘no, i dont want these’?? we already bought them?? i told you beforehand that i didnt want any new glasses and you knew i am not able to say no and now you ask me a question like that? why?? normally i would always act excited about a present (if i wasnt already genuinely excited), but this kind of pissed me off, so i just said “we’ve got them now.”

none of this would be anywhere near upsetting or disappointing if it weren’t for the fact that i had to spend a lot of my own money on stuff i needed or on bills, so i havent been in the position to spend money on stuff i WANTED or that would make me happy for some time. and the few times i did, i felt kinda guilty about it. so i had kinda been counting on my presents being some sort of frivolous stuff or merch or dvds or just anything i could get excited for. add that to the fact that those two glasses used up both my parents’ and my grandparents’ budget, which meant that they were one of the two things i was getting on christmas eve.

i know this sounds like i’m a huge ingrateful brat and making this out to be more dramatic than it needs to be, but i’ve been in such a.. idk weird state over the past few weeks/months, like the most mundane, innocent things upset me to the point of tearing up (which is so out of character and weird for me, it’s upsetting on its own). and i couldn’t even drink anything bc the mere smell of alcohol makes me nauseous somehow wtf (i realise that this may make me sound pregnant, but thats not whats happening here).

sooooooo, an annoyed mother who shouts at everyone the entire day, two taxing grandparents, no alcohol, being grateful and excited about a gift i wasnt soo happy about and my general gloomy mood made for a more stressful than usual christmas eve.

and if youre now wondering why tf i had to go on and on about something so unimportant and petty: i warned you. your own fault for reading this. even i didnt re-read this bc it would have made me cringe.

#.....#yeah #ignore this #ignore me #m

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poetry-protest-pornography · 5 years

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New mission: Come up with a magical $3000 in 2 weeks so we can go to my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah in Australia.

That’s only like... 10,000 people buying Behind Closed Doors, or, 1,000 ko-fi donations that I would feel too guilty about to use for something frivolous. Or 120 people commissioning a 4k story (obviously an unreasonable number of people, but probably a thing i could do anyway? I think people do that?)...

Or like, flinging myself in front of an expensive car and taking a bribe to keep my bruised ribs a secret...

Where’s a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Momma when you need one?

(My “new job” turned out to be a huge scam that never paid me anything, so our non-essential spending budget is pretty much negative dollars 🙃 😬 *this is fine*)

(i mean, the real mission is find an actual job, and/or finish something publishable)

#the job hunt continues #the struggle is real #commissions open #???

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kennethherrerablog · 5 years

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13 Tips to Crack Down on Impulse Shopping. Your Budget Will Thank You

Your day starts innocently enough.

You normally brew a cup of coffee at home, but you’re running late. So you swing by Starbucks for a $5 morning pick-me-up.

After a tiresome day at work, you stop by a store to get a replacement for your cell phone, which has been on the fritz for weeks now. The new phone is an anticipated purchase you budgeted for, but you weren’t planning on the $40 stylish case you just had to have.

On the way to your car, you run into a group of Girl Scouts selling cookies. Their cute, persuasive ways have you digging in your wallet to buy a $4 box of Thin Mints.

You hit a block of traffic on the way home, doubling your 20-minute commute. At this point, you’re tired and hungry, and the three fast food restaurants you passed are calling your name. You have groceries at home but no energy to cook, and eating Thin Mints for dinner won’t cut it. You steer into the next drive-through and order a $7 meal.

Without realizing it, you’ve spent $56 over the course of the day on impulse buys.

Impulse buys are those random, unplanned, unnecessary purchases that eat into your potential savings. You engage in this spending behavior without thinking, which is why you can’t seem to recall what happened to that $20 bill in your wallet or how your budget got so off balance.

It happens to the best of us.

Retail marketers are trained in sneaky tactics that influence our urge to buy. Our personalities and moods can also lead to impulse shopping. In an article in Psychology Today, psychologist Ian Zimmerman said impulse buying is often connected to anxiety, unhappiness and the desire for social acceptance.

No matter your trigger, it’s important to become more conscious of your spending habits. Imagine how much better off your finances would be if you saved every penny you mindlessly spent on stuff you don’t really need.

How to Stop Impulse Buying

Find yourself getting sucked into frivolous spending? Here is some practical advice you can put into action to keep more money in your wallet.

Change Your Mindset About Spending

Shifting your way of thinking can snap you out of the habit of mindlessly buying stuff you don’t need. Take a moment to consider what you’re spending money on and why.

1. Avoid Shopping for Fun

Many people treat shopping like a hobby or something to do to pass time on the weekends. Others use shopping as a cure for a bad mood. But turning to shopping to bring you joy makes you more vulnerable to impulse spending.

Instead, find activities to fill that void. Have a picnic in the park. Take a walk. Call a friend. Work out or meditate. You don’t have to spend money to feel good.

2. Ask Yourself If It’s Worth It

Before you reach for your debit card (or hit the purchase button if you’re shopping online), ask yourself a little question: Is this worth it? You can even attach a sticky note attached to your credit card with that question.

If it’s a $3 magazine that’ll keep you from being bored to death on a flight, then maybe that answer is yes. If it’s a pair of shoes that cost the equivalent of an entire day’s pay and you’re already stressed about debt, then take a hard pass.

3. Keep Your Goals on the Forefront

Staying aware of your goals can steer you away from unnecessary purchases. If you’ve got it on your mind that you want to get out of debt in 12 months, you may not be as inclined to buy that $15 graphic T-shirt.

Avoid Impulse Buying at Your Favorite Store

Those shops you frequent have entire teams working to entice you to buy through marketing, product placement and other clever strategies. If you’re trying to save money, fight against the temptation.

1. Shop With Your Financial Accountability Buddy

A friend or family member who’s aware of your financial struggles and goals is the perfect person to bring along on shopping trips. Your accountability buddy can reign in your tendency to overspend on the unnecessary. Just make sure it’s someone who’s not afraid to speak up on your budget’s behalf.

2. Only Carry a Limited Amount of Cash

Using the cash envelope system is great, but carrying around a big wad of cash in lieu of using plastic won’t prevent you from giving into the impulse to buy whatever catches your eye. If you’re sticking with cash only, plan your purchases in advance and just take the amount of money you’ll need for that one shopping trip.

3. Keep Credit Cards Out of Reach

Using your credit card for impulse purchases only adds extra cost — in the form of interest — to something you didn’t need to buy in the first place. You could literally freeze your cards in a block of ice, shred them to pieces or simply keep them hidden away at home. Don’t shop with credit cards in your wallet to avoid easy access to impulse buying.

Nix Online Impulse Purchases

Don’t let the convenience of online shopping get the best of you. Ignore the allure.

1. Take Your Ordering Info Off Retail Websites

Online retailers want buying to be as simple as the click of a button. They offer to save your debit or credit card information so you don’t have to pull out your card and type in a bunch of numbers each time.

If you’re trying to fight impulse shopping, however, having to take that additional step gives you more time to reconsider your purchases. Remove your financial information from online sites to prevent making impulse buying so effortless.

2. Set Parental Controls on Your Devices

You don’t have to have kids to find the benefit in parental control settings. Block your favorite retail sites or set up purchase restrictions for the App Store or Google Play. Sure, you’ll know the code to circumvent the parental controls, but having that extra layer to get around might deter you from buying on impulse.

3. Unsubscribe From Emails or Text Alerts

Oh, the temptation of all the deals. That email for 30% off all footwear that just popped up in your inbox has your dreaming about getting new sandals, even though you already own several pairs. Did someone tell them shoes are your weakness?

Avoid the trap by unsubscribing from the email lists or text alerts from shops, restaurants or businesses you know will be hard to resist. There will always be another sale.

Pro Tip

Take advantage of deals when the purchase makes sense for your budget, not just due to fear of missing out.

Additional Tips to Curb Impulse Spending

When you spend your money intentionally and not impulsively, you’ll likely have more money left over to save. Here’s more help to avoid impulse purchases.

1. Give Yourself Time Before Deciding to Buy

That gotta-have-it-now feeling is what leads so many of us to buy things on impulse. But pressing pause on buying is often all it takes to realize what we’re craving isn’t something we really have to have. Some people implement a 30-day rule — delaying a purchase for about a month — but you can really give yourself any length of time.

Pro Tip

When shopping online, use the Google Chrome extension Icebox, which prevents you from making immediate online purchases, giving you time to reconsider how you’re spending your money.

2. Track Your Daily Spending

Don’t wait until the end of the month to analyze your spending and see if everything matches up to how much you said you’d spend in your budget. When you take note of what you spend each day, those unnecessary impulse purchases stick out like a sore thumb.

3. Don’t Make Your Budget Too Restrictive

Unless you have the self-discipline of a monk, there are going to be times when you want to indulge just a little bit. A budget that only covers basic life essentials? Not fun.

Add room in your budget for discretionary spending. That way you can make those random purchases without feeling guilty.

4. Take Inventory of What You Have

You know that coffee mug with the witty saying you just had to buy? It’ll end up in the kitchen cabinet along with a dozen similar ones you already own. Coffee is life, but when you can fill up an entire dishwasher with mugs alone, you gotta start saying “no” to more.

Taking stock of what you already own at home — whether it’s clothes, shoes, books or dishware — can help you put things in the right perspective when something attractive catches your eye while shopping.

When Impulsive Buying Become A Bigger Issue

As Penny Hoarders, we hate losing potential savings to frivolous impulse spending, but a few spur-of-the-moment purchases every now and then aren’t the end of the world.

If poor shopping habits, however, seem beyond your control or are becoming detrimental to your financial life, relationships or general feeling of well being, then you should seek professional help.

A licensed therapist could help you manage impulsive behavior. Debtors Anonymous also offers support to those whose shopping habits lead them to unmanageable debt.

Nicole Dow is a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder. She no longer buys candy at the grocery store registers.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

13 Tips to Crack Down on Impulse Shopping. Your Budget Will Thank You published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

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15 budgeting tips for building an emergency fund

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15 budgeting tips for building an emergency fund

More than two in five Gen X-ers said they’re behind on savings, and nearly that many say they won’t be able to fully retire. Buzz60’s Nathan Rousseau Smith (@fantasticmrnate) has more. Buzz60

(Photo: Getty Images)

An emergency fund is an important asset that you will hopefully never have to use. What some perceive as a frivolous expense is really a key part of planning for the future. Any number of unwelcome occurrences could prompt withdrawal from an emergency account — from medical bills to a broken refrigerator.

For anyone other than the chronically frugal, it might seem counterintuitive to save money and hope to never use it, but isn’t it better to have an emergency account collect dust than be surprised by a large, unpayable bill? Expect the unexpected, and build your emergency fund, with these 15 easy budgeting tips.

Collect change

Make a change in your budgeting habits and start penny-pinching. What might seem like an inconsequential penny here, or an insignificant dime there, are actually missed opportunities to build an emergency fund.

More: What to do if you really, really need your tax refund fast

More: It’s official: Most Americans are currently in debt

More: 16% of Millennials have this much in savings

Shave the paycheck

Most of us don’t have the luxury of siphoning paycheck funds to an emergency account, but saving for a catastrophe can be cheaper than you might expect. Consider this: if you save $20 a week — the cost of a modest meal out — you would save over $1,000 in a year. For the low, low price of two burritos a week, you could save yourself from potential financial catastrophe.

Eat at home

The average meal out costs around $12, whereas the cost of a meal at home, designed to feed multiple people or one person multiple times, averages around $2. While eating out might be more convenient or fun, you stand to deposit $10 a meal into an emergency account by merely honing your cooking chops.

London-based psychologist Hélene Fermont says that you shouldn’t feel guilty about keeping your bank account a secret. Buzz60

Get a side gig

It has never been easier to earn supplemental income. According to CNN Money, over 44 million Americans have some sort of side hustle. If you have a skill there is probably a way to profit off it. Whether you freelance write, ad-hoc design or drive for rideshare, chances are there is a way to bankroll savings outside of a 9-to-5 structure.

Save tax refunds

Tax season is upon us, which for many means upwards of $1,000 in tax refunds. It’s natural to receive this check and see dollar signs, but fight back and think about depositing your tax return into a savings account. Responsible budgeting isn’t always fun, but you will thank yourself later in the event of an emergency.

Reduce monthly expenses

At one point, the dog toy subscription service seemed like a good idea. In hindsight, strapped for cash and newly lucid, some of your monthly subscription services might seem frivolous. Review your subscriptions and cut back where you can by deciding what you can easily live without.

Automate savings

Set up your finances so funds are automatically deducted from your paycheck and deposited into a separate account. As long as money is being stashed away in a savings account, Roth IRA, etc. it will be out of sight, out of mind, and could potentially save you in case of an emergency.

Deposit dividends

Think about including some dividends stocks in your portfolio. While you could pocket dividends and go on a cruise, the far more responsible use of added cash would be to deposit it into an emergency fund. Filling an account with dividends isn’t the fastest way of saving money, but the extra income certainly adds up.

Allowance tracking apps allow parents to teach kids financial lessons without ever handing them cold, hard cash. Tony Spitz has the details. Buzz60

Repair credit

If your credit report leaves a lot to be desired, it might be time to get a little help. An unimpressive credit score leeches your bank account in more ways than one: high interest rates, loan denial and subpar credit cards all cost consumers in the long term. Seek out credit repair to improve your FICO score, save money on lending, and squirrel away the extra cash for a rainy day fund.

Sell your car

No-car households are at an all-time high for a reason. The cost of car payments, maintenance, insurance, gas and other auto expenses make owning a car nearly impossible. City folk can easily take their esca-legs around town, but rural citizens have it a little harder. Luckily, in the age of ridesharing, it has never been easier to go car-less.

“Staycation”

Itching for some vacation, but reluctant to break into the piggy bank? Consider some affordable indulgence with a staycation — a vacation near your home. Experience all the luxury of a vacation without the cost of travel. Some people go as far as booking a hotel within driving distance of their homes just to emulate the feeling of a vacation.

Cut the cord

Most people spend around $103 a month on cable. This doesn’t even include the various streaming services most people subscribe to. Thanks to the robust back catalog and great original content from streaming services, there is less reason than ever to keep cable. Think about using al-la-carte entertainment, pick the streaming services you want, and ditch the rest.

Skip the coffee shop

Your morning coffee might seem like a necessity, but it might be time to say adios to the artisan Americano and hello to the humble homemade heavy-roast. The couple dollars, sometimes as much as $6, you spend on drinks at the coffee shop add up, and these funds would be better delegated to an emergency account.

Supplement with low-risk investments

If you’re playing the long game, invest in some low-risk investments such as CDs or high-rated bonds. While these investments won’t return much money in interest, holdings such as bonds take years, maybe even decades to mature, so they provide guaranteed income for the future that can’t be touched on a whim.

Liquid assets

In theory, investing in an emergency fund for the future makes sense, but it does you no good if unexpected costs occur today. It’s a good idea to keep some money in liquid assets such as a savings account or cold, hard, cash. While something like a CD will return more on interest, there are significant financial penalties for withdrawing early, and therefore does you no good in the event of an emergency. Be sure to balance future income with liquid assets.

If you’ve been wondering about your credit, you can check your three credit reports for free once a year. To track your credit more regularly, Credit.com’s free Credit Report Card is an easy-to-understand breakdown of your credit report information that uses letter grades — plus you get two free credit scores updated each month.

Credit.com is a USA TODAY content partner offering personal finance news and commentary. Its content is produced independently of USA TODAY.

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