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prismatic-glow · 4 months

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I'm bored, so i'm gonna main a random character || p1

Hello everyone! A bit of a different post for today but I wanted to switch things up. I really enjoyed making my last series so today i'll be starting a new one where I document my whole process of building + maining a new character for a bit

For those of you that like my more educational content, i'd still love if you stuck around for this one because it will cover a lot of my thought process and you might be able to pick up some tips along the way.

Let's begin!!

╰┈➤ part one : ̗̀➛ goals

Obviously the description of "building and maining" a character is kinda vauge. So, here are the criteria i'm giving myself for this challenge

: ̗̀➛ level 90 the character

: ̗̀➛ crown a talent. This one is a maybe but i'd like to do it. Consider it an "extra credit" assignment for myself lol

: ̗̀➛ all artifacts have the correct stats + correct set

: ̗̀➛ at least a 60/120 or 70/140 crit ratio

: ̗̀➛ a complete team for them (not a team that will carry them though, aka hyperbloom)

: ̗̀➛ a "functional team". A team that isn't just for the showcase, but is somewhat practical for everyday use

: ̗̀➛ kill a boss with the team in a somewhat impressive amount of time. I'm not talking any crazy nukes since my Mona isn't built yet but around 5-10 seconds is the goal. I'm not gonna try to reach 100k or anything crazy with them though since if it's a "bad" character that's probably a waste of my resources

╰┈➤ part two : ̗̀➛ selecting the character

ok, so you have no reason to trust me on this but I 100% promise the character I get is the first one I roll.

I plugged all my unbuilt (all level 60 or below) characters into a wheel and, incase you're curious, here's the list:

Lynette, Mika, Candace, Dori, Yun Jin, Kirara, Gorou, Thoma Chongyun, Dehya, Charlotte, Freminet, Faruzan, Heizou, Mona, Kayea, Ninnguang, Kujou Sara, Amber, Razor, Collei

Gonna spin it now and then immediately write my first thoughts so, here we go!

Ok I got Candace! Honestly not too sure how to feel about this. One one hand her infusion should allow her to function as a DPS but since she's HP scaling, my options are limited when it comes to choosing teammates. Honestly, I think I can do this. ALSO she's super pretty and I love her design which is a plus. The wheel allllmost landed on Charlotte which is a bit of a bummer because I was eventually planning on building her but, oh well

╰┈➤ part three : ̗̀➛ build and team ideas

if you aren't interested in this kinda thing, skip to the end this section for a summary :D

ok, now I actually have to figure out a build for her. Before looking at any guides, the sets that stick out to me for maybe being viable are:

Nymph's Dream for Hydro damage bonus and attack. The attack won't boost her skill or burst damage but could help her normal attacks especially since her scalings are less than impressive. But the fact that a) one of the stats is useless for 2/3 of her kit and b) that the domain is super inefficient to farm + I have no preexisting pieces for it makes me not want to go for this set

The second set that once I immediately was drawn to after thinking of it was Marrechausse Hunter. Not only does it boos her normal and charges attack damage, but the 4pc will help a ton with crit stats. Of course, this does mean running her with Furina but I promise i'll take off her artifacts once it's time for a showcase since her summons will 100% destroy everything. The other benefits of this set are that I already have a few pieces and that I don't mind farming it for Noelle and Furina

Unfortunately the KeqingMains guide for Candace is only up to date with 4.3 but looking at the artifact section, 2pc/2pc is only 3-5% worse than Nymph's Dream. From this I think it's safe to assume that Marechausee Hunter will be at worst, only a bit less damage than ND

note: I asked on the KQM discord and it seemed like people agreed

As for weapons, I unfortunately don't have any 5 star Polearms so my options are kinda limited. Of the polearms I have, the only one that I think could work is White Tassel but with 4pc MH the crit rate might be too much when factoring in CR from substats

Other than that, Missive Windspear could work for Vaporize

I could also use Dragon's Bane for EM but atp I'm just gonna wait till artifacts are done

note from the future that i'm adding later: will probably go with missive windspear

Finally, it's time to decide a team

Because of her set, Furina is needed. I should also slot in Kazuha because it's Kazuha. For the last slot, I have a few choices

Bennet is an obvious choice for the Attack. I could also go Xiangling on 4pc Tenacity for Attack + Attack from passive + Pyro application. Probably a worse choice than Bennett

A strange but not horrible choice would actually be Lisa! Her ascension passive shreds the DEF of enemies. She can run 4pc Noblesse to buff attack and as a catalyst, can use TTDS for even more attack!

I think i'll try both Bennett and Lisa in the final showcase to see which has more damage

As for the practical team, I think a Taser (electrocharged) team with Sayu/Beidou/Furina would be a ton of fun. I chose Sayu for the teamwide heal bc I don't have Jean and she's already built

Honestly this practical team ig getting me kinda excited to play her!

╰┈➤ part four : ̗̀➛ build/team summary

if you skipped this last part, welcome back! Here's a summary of what I talked about above

Artifact Set: 4pc Marechausse Hunter

Artifact Substats: ATK/Hydro DMG/Crit DMG

Weapon (undecided but probably gonna use MW): White Tassel/Missive Windspear/Dragon's Bane

Team 1: Furina (no artifacts so she doesn't destroy the enemies)/Kazuha/Bennet or Lisa

Team 2: Sayu/Furina/Beidou

╰┈➤ part five : ̗̀➛ what i'm gonna do today

Unfortunately neither her talents or the weapon materials are available today and I already condensed my resin so I'm just gonna farm level up mats lol

Okay, that's the end of the post! Remeber to drink some water today (hydro woaaah)

k bye!!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin ask blog #genshin challenge #genshin candace #challenge #candace genshin #gonna regret this in a week #account ruined #was this a mistake #˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ other content

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lilisouless · 2 years

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#867 Grishaverse shitpost

Alina: I am bored, who wants to play a game? i brought Catan

The whole room goes stiff,Genya and David exchange horrified looks ,Nikolai´s forehead fills with cold sweat,everyone else is petrifyed but Zoya who raises her head interested

Zoya: Catan? I like am fond of that game

Nikolai still sweating: yeah, we know my dear Zoya , pass me that box

Takes the box away from Alina but trips and trows the game out of the window

Nikolai: Oh man! i am so clumsy!

Tamar: Dammit Nikolai! we can't play now! what a bummer

Mal: Don't worry, i got another one

As Mal puts the game in the floor everyone else panics again

Zoya: But i warn you, i am a very good player

Genya: Oh we know you are

Zoya: Let´s play in pairs

Tolya: Oh no! but i don't have a partner! How unfortunate, it seems i won't be able to play with you "rushes out of the room"

Tamar: Traitor

Mal: But now who is gonna play with Misha?

Nikolai: Oh, but this is an adult game, he´ll get bored

Mal: He´s played with us before-

Nikolai carring Misha towards the exit: Come on little one! i´ll show you the way to the guest room

Drops the kid and clutches his hands on his shoulders: Listen to me Misha, you are young,innocent.You may think you have seen horrors but the truth is you have seen nothing . Take Oncat with you and hide, is too late for us, and if you see fire,run away and never turn back!

Alina: Why did you do that?

Nikolai: Oh Alina, you poor pure thing.You can't see what you have done, you just brought us a worse fate than death.

Mal: Catan?

Genya: No, Zoya playing Catan!

David: She takes it too seriously

Tamar: She is horrible when she is loosing

Nadia: And mean when she is winning

Nikolai: Last time,Genya cried herself to sleep

Genya: That was you

Nikolai: Thank you very much! The point is Zoya must not play Catan under no circunstance

Zoya: I already dropped the dice! i go first!

Nikolai: Fuck

One hour later

Genya is conforting David who is bracing himself in a corner,Nadia sobs into Tamar´s chest and Mal is trying to calm down an infuriated Alina

Alina: I am gonan punch her

Mal: no no, remember your anger management lessons

Zoya: Pick one

Nikolai trembling: alright...maybe i will take the sheep

Zoya: We have a lot of sheep already! aren't you paying atention?

Nikolai: Well if you know better then take all the turns!

Zoya: i need my partner´s support! and i need it good since you take so bad desitions that already made me lose bricks

Nikolai: Zoya, I CAN'T CONTROL THE WAY THE DICE LAND!

Aleksander apearing from the shadows: I am back! did you think you saw the last of me? Prepare to bow to-Oh shit! is that Zoya playing Catan? Screw this, i´ll be a tree again! disapears inmediately

Genya: I think is time to take the last resort

Nadia: But last resort is for emergencies only

Tamar: We don't need the last resource! We can handle this enought, we have faced tougher problems than this

Nadia: No,I don't think we have

Alina: What is the last resort?

Nikolai: Something dangerous that may work against us

Mal: What? Let her win?

Nikolai: No,no NOOOOO!

Zoya spining her head: Let...me...WIN?

Nikolai: Zoya, my love...

Zoya: LET ME WIN? I WIN BECAUSE I AM THE BEST PLAYER NOT BECAUSE PEOPLE LET´S ME! HAVE YOU BEEN LETTING ME WIN THIS TIME? COME AND FACE ME YOU COWARDS?

Mal: I forgot how good hearing she had

Nikolai: Last resort?

Everyone: Last resort!

(...)

Zoya: You heinous bitch!

Kaz: What, can't the queen of Ravka hold her own properties?

Zoya: Keep talking but i am taking more land , you will beg for me to trade with you sooner or later!

Kaz: I don't beg and i just can steal your cards if i am missing something

Zoya: You steal from me and you sleep in the dungeon

Alina: She will, wouldn't she?

Nikolai: Of course, just let them destroy each other and we may survive among the ashes

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practicalmagicintuitions · 3 years

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A little something about tarot for beginners and everyone who is interested.

I planned this post for a long time, mainly for tarot newbies, someone who wants to start or just interested in how works. It won’t be a Tarot 101, definitely not. More likely, how I work with the cards.

DISCLAIMER: If you are underage I cannot and I won’t give you any ideas how to hide your practice from your parents or guardians. I know tiktok is very popular, but be careful because there is way more misinformation than any other SM site.

First, you obviously got familiar with the basic meaning of the cards, the build of the deck. You will learn the suits, the arcanas, the court cards, the numerology groups, and a few keywords. But this comes with practice. This doesn’t mean you can only draw your first card after you learned all of those things. No. When you buy your deck, look at each card carefully. Do not turn into a companion book or the internet immediately. Think about the card, make notes into a journal or a paper about what you feel, notice when you look at the image. Makes you happy, makes you scared? Is it dark, it is light? And after that, you can read what the book says.

Tarot is about storytelling so your intuition, your memories, your feelings are very important.

When someone is saying tarot has fixed meanings… this is not entirely true. One card can have many many meanings depending on its position or the surrounding cards. Yes, Death card won’t mean your soulmate is coming on a horse, but it’s also 99% won’t mean you are gonna die.

If you want fixed meanings, you should read Lenormand instead. In Lenormand, there are certain combinations with fixed meanings, there is no place for intuition. The pictures on the Lenormand cards have aesthetic purposes only they don’t have additional meanings. Tarot is intuitive. It means you combine the meanings of the cards and above that, you are using your intuition AND the pictures on the cards. Movements, colours, directions, animals, flowers, symbols etc.

What do I mean? I’ll show you.

Those are the Fools from the classic RWS, the Modern Witch Tarot and the This Might Hurt Tarot decks. Look how similar they are at first. They are representing the carfree, daydreaming attitude, the journey. They all have a companion, a dog etc. You can fairly read those the same way. Of course, there are differences, the big city instead of the mountains, backpack etc, but I think those are amazing starter decks.

I think I wrote in my first tarot post that even many people do not like the classical RWS deck, because the images seem ugly and there is no diversity, for me that is the basis and I think everyone should have own it. But if you absolutely don’t want to because you don’t like it at all, those 2 decks, the Modern Witch Tarot and the This Might Hurt Deck seems a good starter deck. RSW was not my first deck, I haven’t started with it, so you can buy it later on if you want and start with the deck you like more. It is very important to choose a deck that speaks to you. Tarot first and foremost is about your personal journey or helping others if you are reading for others. What I am doing here in tumblr is fun, a good practice, it is testing my abilities but tarot is not only for knowing more about our celeb crushes. It is a guied to ourselves.

Let’s see more examples with pictures. The RWS tarot and the New Vision tarot.

New Vision tarot recreates the RWS imagery but as you will see gives a different perspective to the cards, therefore gives a new layer to them. I heard the deck has only a little white book, not a real guide, which is a shame. I think it’s an interesting concept and you could deliver very different readings than with a standard RWS. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend this deck to a newbie but it’s interesting so I show you. You can see how different those images, how different intuitive messages you can get.

Same-ish concept is the Vica Versa Tarot. Based on the ratings it is more usable than the New Vision Tarot. This deck has pictures on both sides and the meaning varies depends on this. This is also a very RWS based deck so it is very interesting to me. Not in the near future, but I want to purchase this deck.

I will show you a few more examples of cards that are less based on the RWS system (or not at all) therefore you need you and your intuition more.

RWS, Gentle Tarot, Wild Unkown, Shadowscapes

I hope you understand now how important it is to use your own intuitions, feelings, experiences and find the style that suits you. Personally, I prefer the more earth-based, pagan or darker decks (not too dark though, I should say more serious) but you can find all pastel pink, fluffy decks too. There are literally thousands of decks on the market in every style. But those are not cheap things, if you cannot connect you won’t be able to work with them. If you like a deck, go to youtube, search for a flip through. Look at the cards carefully. If you still like it, amazing. However, if you bought a deck and it turns out not for you you can still sell it online or if you are really lucky you have spiritual stores or fairs in your area where you can sell or change it for something else.

Connecting the cards it’s not easy, but one of my most spot-on reading was when I let my intuition work completely. I remember I pulled the cards and I started to collect the information about what they could mean. And I felt it makes no sense left to right but right to left I understand it crystal clear. I was hesitant because you have this preconception you have to read the cards in order, but guess what, you don’t have to. I will link an excellent video about it, I found it after my reading and it was a light bulb, aha moment for me. This youtube channel is not for beginners, but I recommend watching this video, you will understand what I ment and it will help you.

The other thing, yes, in western culture we read left to right but this is only one way you can do it. You don’t have to stick with it in your readings. In the most popular spread in the Celtic cross you read the last 4 cards from down to up. And on the standard RWS deck (as you can see on the first picture above), The Fool starts his journey and he is heading from right to left. Isn’t this amazing? And the Major Arcana is about The Fool’s journey. Aka your journey.

*( I cannot link here, in the middle of the text, so it will be video 1 at the end)

So don’t be afraid, be free, make your own meaning, rituals. This is your tarot journey, no one else's. Yours. Don’t let some bitter, “I know better, you are wrong” people take your enthusiasm away.

You can read many books and sources but it doesn’t mean you will understand the cards. You cannot read the cards mechanically. Keywords are helpful at the beginning but after a while you have to leave them behind and use your intuition.

99% of the tarot readers have difficulty with Court Cards. Those are basically people on the cards, doing very little. Some readers read them only as a person, some of them read them as an influence. Just because there is a man on the cards this doesn't mean it represents a male in your life. So it’s hard.

One exercise which is fun and you can make it easier is that you try to pair them with people in your life. Do you have an impulsive brother who is flirty and rushing things? Knight of Wands. Do you have a mean female boss, who is gossiping and bitching? Queen of Swords rx. Of course, this is very basic, but it could help and it is fun.

If you don’t want to use your family or acquaintances, use tv series instead. I think Game of Thrones is amazing for this. It has so many different characters. Many of them are even changing. Jon Snow went from Knight to King, Arya from page to Knight, Sansa from Page to Knight, from Knight to Queen.

The second type of exercise is similar just with the minors. Choose a movie and try to tell the story with the minors. People met, fell in love, getting married, broke up, fighting over money during the divorce etc. All in the cards.

Pulling a card daily is amazing in every way. People recommend doing this in the morning, however I like to do this at the evening. Firstly, because I am a night owl, mornings are painful for me and I don’t have time in the mornings. But the most inportant reason is because I can be anxious and easily stressed out. If I pull the Death at the mornig I will stressing out the whole day. However if I pull this at the evening as a summary of my day maybe I will realise immediately, “oh, my favourite tv show was cancelled, bummer.” or “ I have a new teamleader at work or school, so this is a new cycle for us” I think this gives you a bigger and clearer understanding how those cards are fit into your daily life and what are they meaning for you personally.

When you choose to do any kind of divination it’s crucial to protect your energies. So it’s inevitable to start meditating. The other two practices which I highly highly recommend are called Grounding and Circle Casting. Don’t be scared, those are just higher forms of meditation that help you to keep the balance, but those are also a must if you decide to do another type of Energy Work, for example of Energy Manipulation. I will link an excellent video about it. This YT is also an amazing resource if you are interested in Wicca. You don’t have to! This channel is amazing anyway. Personally, I am not a Wiccan either as I am not celebrating Wiccan sabbats like Beltane or Imbolc, but I love this channel so so much.

*I cannot link the video becuse she’s blocked this option but this is her site. Go and check her Centering and Grounding ║ Witchcraft 101 video, it was uploaded on July 10th in 2019

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFz0Rtv2bh86aUy_5_YsGLw

There will be a point when someone wants to scare you that tarot, divination and spirituality are evil. It is not. Tarot is a piece of paper with pictures on it. It’s not deviant or anything. The cards have no intentions or consciousness, they are just cardstock. Not bad or good. What can make it harmful is the unethical people. Someone who wants to bribe you to pay a big amount of money because “you are cursed” or is someone trying to manipulate the readings to scare you or make you do something. If your intentions are good, have a moral and you protect your energy, you don’t have to be afraid.

In my experience usually people who are heavily involved in churches or Christianity try to push that the tarot and spirituality are evil. Of course not all of them, I know many professional tarot readers who are also Christian, love Jesus etc.

What you should know and maybe this could give you a little comfort or calm that we are all spiritual beings. All of us are made of energy. We are so much more than flesh and blood and bones. Everyone is attracting or have spirits in their life even the most hardcore churchgoers have. You are not bad or evil just because you use divination. Always your intention is important and that you seek the light side of spiritualism.

I hope you liked this post, it becomes my baby and I am really proud of it and I hope you will find it useful or interesting. In the forseeable future I am not planning anyithing similar but I am open to questions as always. Maybe I will have an answer.

Be Blessed.

youtube

#tarot #pmitarotreadings

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nicolestamas · 2 years

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So apparently there's this big scandal right now in the Sims community where a handful of CC creators on Patreon have been tracking where their files go and doxxing people who leak their content (that post I linked is incredibly detailed and I have not been able to wrap my head around all of what's going on). I've seen several CC creators that I know and love post about what's going on to clear the air and say they're not a part of it. It's a bummer to see that now that the news has broken, there's a CC creator witch hunt going on.

Maxis has been open to having custom content in their games since the beginning; they don't always make it easy to implement but they have never tried to keep the games from being modded. CC keeps a lot of people interested in the game past when they might otherwise be and also pulls interest from people who may not otherwise be into it. CC can be something as simple as a hairstyle or a piece of makeup to something as elaborate as an entirely new game mechanic or gameplay system, and Maxis doesn't try to limit what you can do. There are mods for everything from private schools and proms to more realistic sex and drug use. The only hard rule they ever really implemented is that they don't want you making money from their work or using money as a barrier to their content. It used to be that you couldn't charge for custom content at all but that has evolved over time with loopholes. The most common loophole out there right now is that people will post their content on Patreon; you're technically not paying for the files, you're paying for access to the creators page so I guess that means they can get away with it. Most decent creators will only do that for a 2-4 week pre-release and then make their content available for everybody, I've also seen some creators release their content for free but offer a paid option where you can download multiple files at once, and of course those creators that filter their links through adfly type websites 🙄. And I really don't have a problem with that. I personally don't believe in paying money for custom content although I will absolutely donate money to creators who I think build exceptionally high quality content just because, I understand that creating content takes a lot of time and I don't necessarily think it's wrong to want to try to get paid for that. From what I understand however, is that a good portion of these creators who are tracking/doxing people are creators who do not release their content for free, ever. Not only is that against the games EULA, but it's a shitty thing to do.

Back in the days of the Sims 2 there was a big problem with charging for custom content. The well-known website The Sims Resource was a big culprit for this to the point that other sites like ModTheSims wouldn't allow you to link to TSR for content. There was a whole pirate repository of files that were locked behind pay walls that people would buy and donate to the community so everybody could have access. We will find ways to get your content, and we will find ways to do it for free.

I don't care who you think you are. Tracking your users so you can dox them for sharing content that you're too greedy to share is shitty no matter how you look at it. Doxxing people who leak your pre-releases is petty and childish and just a bad thing to do. Every single piece of content you are making is coming off of the creations of other people, what makes you think that you're so special? If I am a user of your content and I find out that you're behaving like this, I will go out of my way to pirate every single file you've ever created whether I plan to use it or not. I hope your computers crash and your backup files break. This is a community built around a fucking video game, we're all here to have fun. Stop being shitty human beings.

And to everyone else, thank you for all of the wonderful custom content that you make. I dabble a little myself and it's definitely not easy. 💜

#the sims 4 custom content #the Sims 4

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sunstonespells · 2 years

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Thoughts on a topic that you wished you got asked about all the time but for some reason it never comes up?

Honestly, I wish people asked me more about my experiences with inpatient mental health treatment, because it was an overwhelmingly positive experience for me, and I think there's a ton of stigma behind it and a lot of people don't have very positive experiences. I definitely didn't love every part of it, and by the time I left, I was more than ready to go the eff home (I spent two months inpatient in an eating disorder program because my over-active fight or flight response made it difficult for me to eat, and I had chronic nausea and vomiting problems. I did an additional two months of intensive outpatient five days a week via Zoom.)

I think that taking advantage of options like that, if you are able to, can be extremely life-changing. It's also HARD work, but I have so many mantras that stick with me day to day, ("Get comfortable with being uncomfortable," "This is hard, but you can do hard things," etc.) that I benefit from. I went into the program I was in extremely recovery-focused, and I was really open to the experience, so I got a lot out of it. I don't think it's for everyone, but being able to have access to a program like that and being lucky enough to have my treatment fully covered by insurance, as well as the opportunity to take time away from life guilt-free because it was in the early days of the pandemic when things were a lot more on hold, I think it's valuable to be able to share the things I learned through that process with others who can't afford to do the same thing, for one reason or another. I had five hours a day of therapy, six days a week. We had individual therapy, group therapies, family therapy, and regular access to doctors and dieticians. I have folders of resources and therapy exercises for CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), IPT (Interpersonal Therapy), and other groups such as Challenging Perfectionism, Nutrition, and so forth. It was a really impactful and fascinating experience, and it's a bummer that people get so uncomfortable when I start talking about it! I think it's extremely important to not over-identify with your mental health struggles because it can be really anti-recovery, nor do I mean to romanticize higher levels of care, but I definitely don't want to forget about the experience.

#thanks for this question #mental health #higher levels of care #inpatient #eating disorder recovery #neda #ask meme #stella says #personal #sorry i waited so long to answer it

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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S4 Ep40: Fixing Dartz By Not Actually Fixing Dartz

Yo Merry Christmas, I’m quarantined as hell, so I’m just streaming and playing video games until my problems get vaccinated away.

So lets just write about Yugioh because hell a lot didn’t go as planned this year (can you believe my 2020 goal for this blog was to finish ALL OF YUGIOH?) but although my goals were halved and quartered--With this blog I don’t freakin care anymore, and somehow...that’s how it’s one of the few creative bastions I have left standing.

Wild.

I’m so done with the internet, I’m not even updating twitter right now.

But hell yes, lets update the Yugioh blog.

So onward, with the last episode of this season. We last left off with Yami getting devoured by a hate tornado which is just...a lot of 2020 energy. This whole season, in a nutshell is just...2020 energy, honestly. And this tornado is just twitter. It’s just twitter incarnated.

Rather than try to save himself and consequently fix his ghost problem, Yugi has decided to keep himself haunted by fixing Pharaoh’s inner emotional problems. Really is something, isn’t it? To do low key therapy for the ghost that basically...put you in therapy? Yugi can help fix his problems but like...he’s still a mess of problems because of it. Now Yugi shouldn’t walk away, of course, that’s effed up, but it is a little irony there.

Pharaoh, of course, has decided to submit to the hate tornado, and sees it as a manifestation of his own anger and bad vibes.

Isn’t that’s the real problem we have when we have to confront the feelings we don’t want to confront? Where we tend to feel guilt and hate for being upset, which is just sort of a thing humans naturally tend to do--instead of actually working on controlling what you do with those feelings so that way we stop lashing out and setting everyone on fire in the burger restaurant?

Like Pharaoh should be learning to count to 10, not trying to just remove his anger. This has sort of been his problem for a while--he assumes he can just...delete his rage. That’s not a thing. You can’t do that unless you have very specific medication through a doctor, and that’s why he keeps failing at it.

And this goes back to S1 when he “fixed” Kaiba and like nothing really happened. Pharaoh’s decided to wipe himself and like...it’s up to your own interpretation but like...in my book that Pharaoh brand clean cycle does freakin nothing. It gets reversed like constantly.

(read more under the cut)

So Yugi decides to hit up Plan B, which is, honestly? Not a great message. But it’s the anime trope that we keep going back to because it’s the catch-all to make any anime protagonist into the good guy.

Like...

...

.......Yeah I’m gonna talk about it.

this is a trope that is so common it’s sort of ubiquitous with the genre. You gotta have the protagonist give up on their own strength, and be lifted up by their pals at the very last second--it’s like the anime hero’s journey.

But I really don’t like it. I don’t like the power of freindship. I’ll say it.

Because there’s some things you have to handle on your own. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have your main character show strength and show character development by doing things by themselves at the last minute. We already know that Pharaoh’s a good pal and believes in his friends--but like...does he believe in himself?

I can’t tell you if he does by how this episode goes, that’s for sure.

The whole point of this tornado is to see Yami discover his own strength and overcome his weaknesses...and yet he still relies on that good ol chestnut, friend powers.

Like last episode I feel like they did this already and it was way better--other people offered their help willingly, then Pharaoh got to have a big ol fight solo in the clouds to prove he was strong on his own as well. We finished the whole season last episode, so what are we accomplishing now other than a last minute secret boss fight?

Why would Yami doubt himself now? It’s weird. Yugi’s right to have mentioned “yo didn’t we figure this all out in desert hell???” because...we did. Yami is retreading old territory.

And that’s a thing that happens when you write, PS, when Yugi was saying “we already did this!” Yugi was reminding the writers of the show “we did this already. Like guys. We did this.” and sometimes when you’re writing, your characters will do that to you, and you should always be paying attention to cues like that.

Anyway, he vanquishes the hate tornado by thinking fondly of all of his buddies, and then the storm that should have been over the Atlantic Ocean, as according to the dub, parted in the sky above California.

GEOGRAPHY, the secret final boss of this season of Yugioh. And they failed. In a big way.

Yugi holds out his hands in real life, and pretends to hold a ghost that isn’t there. Now I want all of you to do this position IRL. Like that. OK. It looks like Yugi is holding onto a pair of ghost boobies.

Meanwhile, actual and very literal ghosts with very real bodies show up and start picking up Dartz and like...

...The ending of Dartz’ storyline is a TRIP! Lets just get into it!

This cursed dog. I can’t stand how this dog is drawn. I hate it so much that I actually love it, and if I saw this in a thrift store I would impulse buy it and hang it over my fireplace mantle in a golden gilded frame.

AHHH????

WHAT????

He electrocuted you with LIGHTNING! He killed your...everyone! He killed EVERYONE!

Also girl, how are you HERE? Like Physically??? I saw you die! TWICE!!

Yugioh is on SOMETHING with this one, and I think that “something” is called “we weren’t allowed to give you a PG-13 sad ending.”

This is just the freakin weirdest thing. We have a character who is worse than Darth Vadar, and this show has pulled so many dark things in it’s history, but it just...

...it can’t punish Dartz at all, and I don’t know what they were thinking.

They have been poetic before--Pegasus got his eyeball gruesomely ripped straight out of his face, nearly got murdered by Bakura, and was not able to resurrect his wife. Noah hella died, had to give up his plan to rule the world and be a real boy, and had to murder his own Dad even, the moment he finally made a bond with his brothers. Marik had to lose all control of his body, live helplessly inside Tea’s bod for an entire season and accept the fact that he murdered his Dad and now has to live on without any of the magic that ever made him powerful in a broken world and a broken family he will never understand.

Dartz though?

If he does get some sort of poetic retribution, it will be off-screen because we don’t have time for it.

And that’s kind of a bummer because this is usually something Yugioh is kinda good at! I enjoy when this show goes dark, this is a great opportunity to do it...and they didn’t.

It was just the wettest fart Yugioh has ever played on me.

Just the wettest. Nice knowing you, Dartz. Glad you were here to murder everyone on Earth and then totes get away with it because we’ll just pretend like the Orichalcos was a totally different person--although it’s not. Because Yami JUST told us that it doesn’t work that way. Yami JUST told us that the Orichalcos was using his own pain and his own hate against him.

It’s not a separate person, it’s the same!

And to suggest that Yami vanquishing that hate tornado somehow cured Dartz of all his sins, is some upper level Jesus stuff that I don’t think this show would normally want to tread on. Straight up. Yami is a pretty poor stand in for Jesus Christ, and I feel I can straight up say that because it’s Christmas.

...what HAPPENED in the writing room with this one? Did they just run out of episodes? There are less episodes this seasons than other seasons have been.

Was it edited for the English version? Because I...kind of doubt they could edit that much to make it that drastically different.

I’m just boggled. Like usually I’m of the opinion to let the writers do whatever they do because I do not know what was going on behind the scenes, and I’m still of the opinion that they did the best of what they could do with the resources they were given.

BUT, this episode just feels...hella sus. I feel like they just had to make an ending. Any ending. Get an ending on there and finish the season before the power goes out and then run away with whatever paycheck you get (because in entertainment--you might not get one).

Seto and Joey made it completely back to the KaibaCopter before Tea was like “I mean it’s been 15 minutes, guys, you really didn’t hear him behind you? You really lost his tiny pitter patter of his little shoes? The little shoes that make a little tinkly noise like a kitty cat’s collar? A little kitty cat collar that he also wears around his neck? His neck that has a golden pyramid held by a tow chain that makes a little clanky clank when it hits his two belts covered in metal rivets that makes a little singsong clippity cloppity noise every time he so much as breathes? He’s a walking talking Bell of Notre Dame, you lost him?”

and Seto was like “Oh damn it, I know he’s the same size as Mokuba, and so I should be really good at not losing this kid but also have you noticed how many times I’ve lost Mokuba???”

Joey just looked into the distant tomb hut and said “......You’re kidding me.” and decided to immediately run back because Joey Wheeler knows what’s up.

Had Joey Wheeler actually made it back to Atlantis, he would have seen Dartz and his entire family hugging it out and would have immediately socked the guy straight in the dick and it would have been a great way to finally give Dartz just one single consequence for murdering everyone on Earth but you know, I did not write this episode.

I’m really glad that in the same episode that Yami called upon the powers of friendship, his friends hella ditched him to vanquish in a watery grave.

This is wild!

Seto’s words were “Good riddance” as the island went down, and you could not tell if he was talking about the island or about Yugi.

That and Kaiba Really Hates Islands. LOVES watching an island go up in smoke (or underwater, in this case). Loves nothing more.

Seto, your powers of friendship were just used to save the world.

Apparently the standard for friendship power is...not much. But they did just make Yami, of all people, do a literal Jesus in Gethsemane so...the bar for morality is just not very high in this anime.

Did the Great Leviathan stitch Weevil Underwood’s body back together or something? This is...

...Yo Weevil are you immortal now? Are you the big bad in S5 that comes out of nowhere and kick’s Bakura’s ass back to the Shadow Realm like Marik in S2? Because I’ll accept that.

I won’t like it, but I’ll accept that.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

look at those toddler shoes worn by a full adult! Weevil Underwood is so over-designed for a super low-level miniboss and I low key love that they love Weevil Underwood this freakin much.

Of all people, Weevil Freakin Underwood.

Listen, listen, listen.

If Mikey was still alive, he’d be older.

He’d have been older in that Leviathan tummy, he’d be Alister’s age but he’s not. He’s uh...

Yo show that got real dark. Show this is what you should have done to Dartz. I love this sort of dark ending for a rude asshole who is going to try to put his family back together although it’s completely impossible--this would have been a good Dartz ending. But...whatever. It’s fine.

We’ll...let Dartz have his family back, it’s fine.

Meanwhile, in the first actual picture of California that really feels like California, Valon immediately accepts the fact that Mai left him.

This is also a great dark ending for Valon. To accept that the people in your life have moved on and that you, too, must move on, even if it’s alone. This would have been an excellent ending for Dartz.

And then Mai just bounces. She does not seek out Joey Wheeler, because she’s like “I have to fix some stuff, I have some serious problems, and it’s going to take a really long time before I can get over my toxic past.” and just freakin leaves us. Sorry, anyone who was hoping Joey and Mai would smooch at any point, it’s uh...it’s not legal yet.

And TBH I don’t even know if Valon is legal either, and the show decided to not reveal that to us, or allow them to smooch.

And as for Raphael? Uh...

They didn’t bother, I think. I didn’t cap it, at least. But we did get at least one person washed up on a beach.

It would be Kuribo.

I talk about 2020 energy a lot in this season but like...wild 2020 energy here, to be so freakin chill and can I say--delighted--to be stranded on an abandoned island.

The show does not elaborate any more on if the cards are dead or alive, or if the games we are playing are with actual people forced to play these horrible games for us. It’s best that they don’t tell us. Just like Mr Mime. No one wants to know.

Mr Mime as in the Pokemon Mr Mime, PS, I just realized that there is a mime in this universe and he’s just...I don’t really want to know about that guy, either. All mimes honestly, I don’t want to know anything at all about all mimes.

Luckily, for Yugi, Kaiba didn’t fly very far from this island, and so we don’t have to have some sort of weird season cliffhanger where we guess how long Yugi can live off of coconuts (2 hours. he would last 2 hours on this island)

Although it would be such a cliffhanger to wonder what Yugi’s hair would look like after that. the same, right? Like it’s the same amount of grease and nasty stuff? He’d just have his roots growing out?

And there they go--goodbye Dues Ex Machina Cards. Either the show can’t keep you on board because you’re hella broken, or the three dragon warriors died, or retired, or whatever it is when a card is like “I’m done with humanity, please leave me alone and never call me again.”

Did Seto low key just break up with his side piece just now? Tragic.

Remember that time that Yugi was so bouyant he was armpits out of the water in S2? It’s crazy how bouyant Yugi Muto is. Like if someone did one of those anime cross-sections of his anatomy, he needs like 3 or 4 duck shaped pool floaties in there.

Now, full disclosure, I have written the ending to this post 3 times because tumblr keeps deleting this post out of my drafts folder (I shouldn’t be writing this in my drafts folder, being real, it’s been really buggy lately, and I’m gonna have to make a different solution to this) So I’m just...

...gonna end on this note. This exciting note that Bakura is next. Finally, Bakura (JK of course, because apparently Bakura doesn’t show up for half the season. Bro told me this and offered that we should skip that filler and of course I told him that is not the point of this blog and we will be watching all of that gruesome filler piece by piece. Because for someone, out there--that filler is their favorite episode. I don’t know who you are--but get ready for filler.)

Now Yami could just...call up Bakura at any point at his house and make an appointment to end the world...but maybe S5 will go a different direction? We shall see.

Anyway, that’s it for this Season! Thanks all for sticking with us when I just...didn’t have an upload schedule for this entire year. It’s been a YEAR. But, I’m hoping for good things in the future, and that things will adjust back to a normal upload schedule and that...hopefully tumblr won’t die or something weird like that.

I’m gonna finish the Full Metal alchemist Live Action movie next (we’re like halfway through) and then after that--onward to to S5! See y’all there!

Stay safe!

(and here’s the link to read these in chrono order if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #yugi muto #yami muto #joey wheeler #tea gardner #seto kaiba #tristan taylor #mokuba kaiba #alister #valon #Mai Valentine #Weevil underwood #Dartz #Rex Raptor #S4 #Ep40 #Yo I cannot believe these ruthless writers just let Dartz off the hook wowowow

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mercurytrinemoon · 4 years

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On synastry and how to approach it

If you follow me you may have noticed few of my posts where I'm fixating on the fact that I don't know a certain person's birth date. And I said I'm sensing a nice Venus-Mars connection and honestly now that I think about it, I feel like Jupiter is heavily underlined in here as well. So that made me think of synastry a lot (not that I don't think about it on daily basis) and it made me want to elaborate a bit. Also because I see this weird approach where people single out certain aspects and turn them into "make it or break it" kind of deal and that is just wrong.

Actually it's similar with natal charts. The difference here is obvious - you have two individuals which means double the options in which way the energy may go and more potential for aspects to cancel each other out. So while natal interpretations of, for example, planets in the houses will resonate with you, all the black and white interpretations of synastry house overlays belong in the dumpster imho. And I knooow, I knoooow, one of my first posts was about house overlays. It was very generalized one and I did disclaim to take the entire chart into consideration. But sometimes I see these descriptions where people say "oh my god Venus in the 8th house! This is highly sexual aspect!" But what if none of the people have their Mars nor Venus activated, maybe except for a Venus-Saturn square that puts a big dump on the whole thing. Also, this may as well indicate taking care of shared resources (because that's one of the main themes of the 8th). Besides - and that's my personal take - overlays are less important than aspects between planets unless a) you’re putting a stellium in someone’s house b) it's about angles, because having the same planet as someone's ascendant is a big thing and I can guarantee you that most of the people you create bonds with will have that configuration with you.

Speaking of which, the type of people you attract is highly dependant on your chart. Angles are important but so are aspects and planet placements. I'll give you an example based on my own natal chart, because, obviously, I know myself well and I pay attention to charts of the people I come in contact with. As an Aquarius rising, I attract a lot of Aqua personal planets, Leo risings and people with personal planets in Leo - surprisingly not a single Leo Sun. As a Sagittarius dominant person, most of my friends are Gemini Moons or Sag Moons. Surprisingly I only befriended one Gemini Sun in my life + my belowed dog who was a Gemini. My Aries Moon makes me weak for Aries Suns. Sun is opposite Mars (5th house) - it, again, points to Aries (and Scorpios as well). Dominant fire element and Aries in the 3rd (easy communication) helps here a lot. Having Sagittarius in the 11th (house of friends) and Jupiter in the 7th (house of partnerships), I tend to be friends with other Sadges BUT that Jupiter in the 7th makes me very attracted to Pisces as well. So DO take classic rulership into consideration!

That leads me to another point - modalities. I have a lot of mutable energy so I love other mutable energies. SQUARES omg, especially in romantic/sexual relationships. They do bring tension but hear me out. You need trines and sextiles but squares bring spice. I can guarantee you that having a flowing Mars-Venus contact will give you a pleasant feelings for one another, easiness in communication and a natural synchronicity, but it's the square that will make you wanna rip each other's clothes off. Soooo... I mean, whichever you prefer I guess. Squares are also stimulating, with trines the energy flows nicely, squares bring interest... it's a different element, but the same modality... a perfect mix to make you drawn to the other person. It's similar yet intriguing. Another example, as a Sag Venus my tastes concerning arts and music should clash with a Pisces Venus - that’s what a textbook definition will tell you - but surprise, surprise, half of my favourite artists have Venus in Pisces.

Now with oppositions it's a completely different thing. I think they work wonderful when there are yin-yang planets involved. As I mentioned earlier, as a Sagittarius Sun I love Gemini Moons. They compliment each other. The thing is, with opposites you either get each other or you just pass each other. So it fluctuates. I've noticed that especially when there's the same planet involved. Two people having Mercury opposition will get each other so well they will finish each other's sentences one day and then completely miss the mark the next. Like two vehicles driving in opposite directions.

Trines aren't 100% amaaaazing. I know many people who, like me, have inner planets in fire signs and our values, ways of thinking and approach to certain issues are completely different. We do express them in the same manner though, which is by being loud lol. Trines also bring laziness so if you have too many of them the relationship may just fizzle out. Sextiles on the other hand are so underappreciated. Air fuels fire and water nourishes the earth - it’s way more interesting than a trine where both signs are in the same element, imho. Some astrologers will tell you sextiles are "weaker" but that's just stupid. They’re just as important, okay?

Sometimes you don't even have to have an actual aspect. Whoa, I know, mind-blown. But I see that constantly. Obviously having planets in a tight aspects is very important but let's say you have Aquarius Venus at 5° and the other person has Sun in Aqua at 20°. They don't make an aspect but it's the same sign, therefore you're going to express these energies in the same manner - which makes you compatible (tho I don't like that word). Now the smaller the orb, the more significant the aspect is. I've read somewhere that the aspect with the tightest orb kind of represents the theme of the relationship - I haven't been able to really analyze this theory tho. When it comes to orbs overall, Alexander Von Pronay is suggesting to use aspects up to 7°. I'd do that and then look at aspects under 2° to really see which energies are stronger. Liz Greene said that if you're feeling an aspect, even if the orb is wider, well, you're feeling it and it's there. I suspect it may depend on what energies you're sensitive to. If, for example, your chart ruler is Venus, you may feel Venus aspects more. And then with Uranus, Neptune and Pluto I'd say up to 2°.

What's actually awesome are so called double whammies. It's when the same two planets are aspected both ways. So A person's Sun is trining B's Venus and B's Venus is sextile A's Sun. Or A's Moon is conjunct B's Sun and B's Sun is opposite A's Moon. I like double whammies cause they provide mutuality. People often ask "wHo FeeLs iT mORe????". First of all, there's no clear answer to that because everyone's different and their charts are different and some respond to the energy one way and some, other. That's why I like to ask people: well, how do YOU feel about that aspect (if you, of course, know astrology well enough to pinpoint the energy). But with double whammies you basically exchange the same aspect so, hopefully, in 99%, it will be mutual.

What I also love is having the same aspect natally. Let's say you have a Mars-Mercury trine natally and the other person has it conjoined. That is awesome. It's like going through the same experiences in life and going "yeah! I went through that too! I understand!" Better yet if then those planets also make an aspect in the synastry chart. It's great. You're going to vibe so much.

About mutuality... A few weeks ago I was watching a livestream from Nina and Shaina from Party Trick Astrology (love those girls) and they were talking about synastry so I asked them a question related to these things cause, you know, I bet they've seen hundreds of charts and I'm always curious about other people's observations. So I asked about mutuality and one of them gave an example of a girl whose Venus was beautifully aspected by a guy and the guy's Venus not being aspected at all. And how this, for example, pointed to the guy being into the girl but not vice versa. And I thought that's interesting because I'd assume it would be the other way around. Her planets didn't activate his Venus so he shouldn't be into her romantically. And I actually experienced that myself one time. I had this Aqua friend and had literally zero aspects to my Venus. Not even a semi-sextile, not even a quincunx, not even a wide generational planet connection. And I didn't see him through these romantic lens. So I guess there are no rules to this. OR it’s all about projection (which btw happens a lot in astrology). That's why I like to look at synastry charts and just get the overall vibe.

Now with that being said, the shocker. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ASPECTS WITH THE OTHER PERSON AT ALL. I know, a bummer. Here we, astrology junkies, are in the lookout for the perfect synastry chart but as I look at charts of celebrity couples I often see them having no Sun connections, no Venus or Mars connections, lame Moon aspects etc. That is indeed disappointing. That's why I was so stoked about that Britney-Justin synastry. Because I don't see connections like that one between all the "it” couples of today.

So I guess... astrology is bullshit... Nah, just kidding. But it is complex. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity. And you should approach synastry as a whole, just feel it out, you know? And I’ll leave you with that for today because it’s getting long.

#synastry #astrology #astro notes #astrology notes #mercurytrinemoon

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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I've never played WOW, but my friends into it. I might as well try. Any advice for someone who's never touched a MMO?

Oh, fun question! It’s actually hard for me to think of things I’d have wanted to know when starting out because I started playing MMOs around age... 9? So in some respects I grew up alongside the genre, rather than trying to learn it after the fact, but some things I’d highlight about WoW now is:

Don’t worry about your race/class. There is SO MUCH about the “right” and “wrong” way to create a character, but at the end of the day you should choose whatever interests and appeals to you most. The caveat to that is that picking a tank or a healer class will put a bit more responsibility on your shoulders — whether you like it or not at times — so just be aware of that. Some people like taking on a specific role, others (me) do not. There are also classes that are better suited to soloing as much of the game as possible, if that’s something you’re interested in.

Regardless, you will have to play with others eventually. If your friends are already into WoW it sounds like you have a good community/potential guild to turn to, but I’d recommend waiting until you feel confident in playing your character before entering groups with strangers. Frankly, the WoW community can be pretty damn toxic. I’m no expert, but I’ve played it long enough to feel confident in my abilities and I’m still cursed out by pissed off dungeon groups if we wipe. Raids will expect you to have learned the fights via youtube prior to coming in and when many inevitably haven’t (because it’s a game and homework shouldn’t be required lol) they’ll start yelling too. PvP is just a mess of accusations and slurs, depending on how badly it’s going... so yeah. I don’t want to make it sound like WoW is made up of nothing but assholes, but there are enough to make an impression. It’s something to avoid if you’re not feeling up to it, but given how much of the later content requires working with others, wait until you’re geared, have a good handle on your class, and are in a good head space before diving in. Or stick to playing with friends.

Speaking of friends, if you do want to play with them I’d recommend picking their faction (Horde or Alliance). That will allow you to visit each other in major cities, help with the same quests, queue up for activities together, etc. Though the story has moved away from the Horde vs. Alliance rivalry recently, the gameplay still very much divides them.

Check out everything you can (without getting too overwhelmed!) WoW has a LOT going on and while very little is required, much of it is beneficial while also being easy to miss, just by virtue of there being so much to do. Pick up any quests you find, explore as much of the world as you can, talk to NPCs, save the loot you get, etc. You can always get rid of something — drop a quest, destroy/sell an item — but it’s a bummer if you just go and sell everything only to realize you actually needed all that stuff for something else. So go slow and check out your options before making decisions.

To help with that, I recommend WoWhead and Icy Veins for info, or just good old-fashioned plugging the thing into google with “wow” next to it. How often do I look stuff up? Constantly. MMOs don’t have cheating culture the way a single-player game might (I mean, there’s absolutely cheating, just not in the same way), so don’t be afraid to just google anything and everything you want. The comment sections of a page are your best friend. Whereas the official description may give you an overwhelming amount of information you don’t actually need, player comments tend to focus on what others really want to know: here’s where to find this NPC, yes this quest is bugged, make sure you do X before Y, etc. WoW has become a lot more accessible over the years in terms of helping players figure things out, but it’s still confusing at times, so make use of any resource you please.

Another “cheat” is to use addons. I’d recommend grabbing WoWMatrix which will allow you to (safely) download addons without any of the hassle of putting it in the correct folders. I’d recommend Bagnon (makes all your bags open as a single window so you can see all your loot at once), Bartender (allows you to customize your action bar), Coordinates (puts a tiny, movable coordinates button on your screen which is basically necessary at this point to find things. Players will almost always provide coordinates when giving locations), HandyNotes (provides lots of info on your map, like how you go about summoning a rare mob), Pawn (helps you compare gear to see what’s best for your class/specialization), and if you do any PvP, Healers Have to Die, or HHTD, which marks all healers with a cross so they’re easy to spot in battle (always kill healers first! :D). WoWMatrix is SUPER easy to use — just search for the addons you want via the application, download them, delete if you don’t like ‘em, and open it once in a while to “Update All” — and the various addons you can use are an absolute godsend. They make playing the base game that much better.

If you’re someone invested in the story side of games, lore is going to be very weird here, just because WoW is 16 years old and you’ll be entering into the 8th expansion. I’ve played WoW since it came out and I don’t know wtf is going on a lot of the time lol. So just roll with it, or if you’re interested, make use of wikis, the novels, etc. But it’s not the sort of game where you’re in trouble if you have no idea who this person is or what battle they’re talking about. Just accept whatever they want you to do and pick up the story wherever you came in.

You’re going to die a lot. A lot, a lot. That’s fine, everyone does. Again, not the sort of game where that’s a problem. Just know that you can either return to your corpse (flying there as a ghost) or rez at the graveyard you appear in if you’re willing to deal with a bad debuff for like 10 minutes. Also, all armor has durability that goes down over time, but it goes down faster the more you die, so you’ll want to repair (finding an NPC with the anvil icon) soon afterwards.

There’s lots of little things to learn like that: a brown bag icon means you can sell to this person, blue exclamation marks are quests that will reappear daily, items with a gray name (as opposed to white, green, blue, or purple) are pretty much just junk and you can always sell them... there’s a lot. Pick things up as you go, keeping in mind that you’ll be given SO MUCH INFORMATION and no, you’re not going to learn it all at once. Part of the fun is figuring stuff out and seeing yourself improve. Feel free to ask questions too (there’s a chat box and you can speak to an entire zone at once), though frankly it’s a 50/50 chance whether someone will give an actual answer, or just roast you lol

If you ever want to play “seriously,” I’d kinda recommend learning WoW with keybinding early on — AKA, creating button shortcuts for various spells/skills so your mouse is only used for camera movement and targeting, rather than wasting time looking for the action you want to click on. I say “kinda” because I don’t do that. At this point my click method is too ingrained in my muscle memory for anything else, but I recognize that I’m in the minority for saying that’s an “okay” way to play.

Anything is okay though. Do whatever. I mean, the above aside, literally my best advice is to just throw yourself headfirst into the game, accept that you’re going to mess so much up, shrug, and have fun with it. I spent an hour of my life running a Tourghast floor today... and then wasn’t able to beat the final boss. So I “wasted” that time since I didn’t get the loot, but who cares? It was fun! Literally do whatever and don’t let any of the assholes get to you. Someone sends a message you don’t like? Block them (right click their name in the chat box to get the option). Group is making you uncomfortable? Leave. Don’t know how to do something? Google it! The best thing about an MMO is also the most overwhelming: it’s a whole world with (almost) endless options, so though that freedom is exciting, it also means you have to curate your own experience. It’s a bit like being here on tumblr. Figure out all the nuances at you own pace, lurk as long as you’d like, and if someone is being annoying, google how to keep them out of your inbox.

Idk how helpful any of these tips are, but I hope you enjoy it!! 😊

#gaming #WoW #World of Warcraft #Anonymous

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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04/14/2021 DAB Transcript

Joshua 9:3-10:43, Luke 16:19-17:10, Psalms 83:1-18, Proverbs 13:4

Today is the 14th day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we continue our journey forward into the beautiful springtime. Of course, I know we are all over the world. So, those of you in the southern…southern hemisphere are experiencing autumn coming on. How weird is that? But whether it is a springtime fire or a autumn…an autumn fire it's a Global Campfire that we are around and we can come around it no matter where we are. And, so, let's dive in and take the next step forward. We’re in the book of Joshua in the Old Testament. There have been two cities in the promised land that have been conquered. The rest of the land is not conquered. The people of Israel are in the land and everyone that is there is freaking out. And we left the story yesterday with the kings of the region trying to form an alliance and band together all of their armies to come against Israel and…yeah…push them back out of the land. So, we’re reading from the New English Translation this week. Joshua chapter 9 verse 3 through 10 verse 43.

Commentary:

Okay. So, as we pass through the middle of our work week, we could talk about our work habits. Straight out of the Proverbs today, “the appetite of the sluggard craves but gets nothing.” So, a sluggard is…is…is laziness, the kind of unmotivated, right? Kind of like I just can’t get myself going, I’m just gonna sit here and watch some more TV or whatever, can't really get it going. So, that person still craves accomplishment or achievement or whatever. A person that has a craving to see something achieved or that they would like to do. Like you can be a sluggard and still be a dreamer, but the dream won't be achieved. You can crave by the appetite of the sluggard craves but gets nothing. “The desire”, this is how the proverb ends, “the desire of the diligent will be abundantly satisfied.” In other words, the one who this craving, this desire to achieve or to accomplish or to do something, if they will be diligent step-by-step day by day, they will be abundantly satisfied. I could say what we’re doing here moving through the Scriptures is a is a good example of that. If we show up every day, day by day step-by-step and we are diligent we will achieve what we set out to do, which was move through a year of life together in the Scriptures as a community. If we’re diligent we will be abundantly satisfied in achieving that goal. Or we can be like many who have a craving, a desire to read the Bible, to see what actually is in the Bible, what it actually says, but don't really get past a couple of days in this area. Then the appetite of the sluggard craves but gets nothing. So, what can we say then? We can say that you can desire or crave all you like. If you're not willing to motivate yourself and be diligent it will never be anything but a craving or a desire. But if you are willing to be diligent you will be abundantly satisfied.

Prayer:

Father we take that to heart. It goes to our motives. It goes to our motivation and sometimes we have to take control over that. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves using self-discipline that You are getting up off the couch right now and You are going to be diligent in taking the next step forward toward what it is You desire. Help our desires to line up with Your will for our lives and help us Holy Spirit to be motivated, that we not be weary in well doing, but that we not be a sluggard when we need to be doing. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that's home base, that’s the websites, that’s where you find out what's going on around here and how to get connected and stay connected.

And resources that are available for the journey we are on. So, the resources can be found in the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

And getting connected and staying connected can be found in the Community section of the website where the Prayer Wall lives. So, certainly, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if…if the mission that is the Global Campfire, the mission to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and released out into the world for anyone who will listen to it anywhere on this planet any time of day or night and to build community around that rhythm, the day by day step-by-step journey that we are on together so that we know we’re not alone, not…not…not on our journey through the Bible and not in life. We’re not alone. You have brothers and sisters all over the world going through all the same kinds of things that we go through. And that makes a big difference, to know that there are people out there that care and that are facing it just like we are. So, if that brings life and light and hope and good news into…into your world than thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Brian, hi DAB family this is Emily in Seattle I haven't touched back in a while, but I have a prayer request. And I'm usually pretty shy about needing those but I've got one now. My dad is 94 God love him and he's not doing too good. So, if you could pray for him, I'd appreciate it. Then pray for my brother Mike, I've mentioned him before. He's pretty sad because he's not close to Jesus like we are. And he's pretty sad because he thinks when someone dies that they end up __. I think everyone in my family’s saved but it's just me and my husband who are close to Jesus. And, so, that's kind of a bummer but pray for everlasting life for my family, salvation for those who don't have salvation yet and that this will be a blessing and not a curse. And I guess that's it. I'm losing it here. So, __ my mom Roberta, my dad Charlie, my brother Mike, and me of course too. Praise God. Bye.

Hi __ this is __Selena I’ve been recently been all over the Prayer Wall and I'm going to continue to be all over the Prayer Wall. I'm praying for you guys and just lifting you all up to the Lord. In my case my boyfriend left me for another woman, and I've just been going through it. But in all of that the Lord has completely freed me of sin. It's just a really hard time. But I am sleeping at night. There's one positive and I’m learning about laying it down for the Lord, laying my sorrows down. So, if I could just please have prayer just for joy, for quick healing. I just want to be back to normal but in God's time. I thank you all and I love you all very much. I'm always praying every day. I put down my social media I put down my Xbox I put down…I’m throwing away the wolves and just taking God and you and I want to hear all of your prayers, requests. In…in your sorrow please know I am behind the scenes fighting for you in the name of God. I love you guys. Bye.

Yes…I know a boy…I don't really know him. His name is Titus, and he is dying and he’s 7 and I would like to pray for him. Dear Jesus, __ I pray that you will make it not so scary to Titus that he's dying and make his family not so sad. And in Your name. Amen.

James the Teacher in LA I was so glad to hear your voice after such a long time but I'm really sad that your wife is asking for a divorce. James, I'll be praying for you. I pray that the Lord turn her heart around and even as you’re going through this difficulty remember how years ago you prayed, you trusted God for a child and God provided that child. And you've even prayed for your students and you saw how God worked in the life of your students. James, I want you to just take a moment and think back of God's goodness to you in those past years. And as you go through this struggle be encouraged that He's able to do above all that you could ask and could desire. If you need to get counseling with your wife, I would suggest you get some counseling with her and the two of you together with God worked this out. I'm praying for you and I'm trusting God on your behalf. Just continue…continue to trust Him and see Him work mightily in this situation. Just praise God for you in Jesus’ name. Randolph from Toronto.

Hi DAB family my name is Ashley and I'm from California and I want to share a little of encouragement. So, first I just want to read you Psalm 13 verses 5 through 6. But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. I want to share that this is a special time in my life, this time of year, because I remember God's goodness. He changed my life in a matter of a week, and He led me down the path of a new career and revealed that I was pregnant with my son and He took away people that I thought were supposed to be in my life. But He saved me. He rescued me and I constantly thank Him for that, and I just want to encourage anybody out there who may be going through a hard time and it may be confusing. I even have to preach this to myself, but I just want you to know that in the midst of chaos, in the midst of suffering God is doing a work no matter how you're feeling…how you're feeling He is working. He is working. He loves us. He has a plan, and His ways are better than our ways. And He will always provide and always take care of you. So, if you're having a hard time right now, I just want to let you know. I love you DAB family and Brian and China and Jill and…and the whole family I’m so grateful for you. So, I have a blessed rest of your day. Today is April 9th 2021. Take care everybody.

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thewritingandroid · 4 years

Text

Learning to be Human // Part 3 Rising Tensions - Hank

A/N: Happy Holidays!!! Here’s a fun little Hank chapter, I hope you enjoy it!!! Like and reblog if you do!

Word Count: 2743

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."

-Oscar Wilde

“They need more protection Captain! Connor was almost killed today.”

“That's unfortunate but-”

“Unfortunate? One of our best officers was almost murdered today in broad daylight in front of a bunch of cops and all you can say is that it’s unfortunate?”

“Calm down Hank!”

“Don't you tell me to calm down! I watched my partner get shot today right in front of me1 I have a right to be upset!”

“I received a message from Markus just before you arrived. Connor is fine. He’s going to make a full recovery and he’ll be back to work in a couple of days.”

“And that makes all of this okay?”

“No lasting damage has been done.”

“Lasting damage? People died! If Connor was a human you’d be busting down doors and rounding up the protesters that got away.”

“But Connor is not a human, is he Hank?” The Captain sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Times are changing. I’ve got to focus all of my efforts right now not to let the story turn into one about an android killing humans in android territory.”

“They had him pinned to the ground with a gun against his head! He gave himself up to save Chase! The protesters he shot are recovering in the hospital. My men and I are the ones who killed those three.”

“The media isn’t going to want to hear that Hank. They want to blame everything on the androids. A lot of people want things to go back to the way they were.”

“We can’t go back. We just can’t.”

“Don’t you think I realize that?”

“I’m just asking you to help me protect them. They’re still being blocked out of their factories. They don’t have the resources needed to repair themselves properly. When one of them dies, they die for real. We’ve already lost four, Connor was almost the fifth. Please, sir, if we don’t protect them who will. You’ve already made it clear you don’t think they should protect themselves.”

The Captain pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Alright Hank, you win. I’ll increase our presence at the border and I’ll encourage CyberLife to open at least one factory to the androids.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“I'm not finished. You really want things to get better, we need to get the laws about androids changed. I’m leaving that responsibility to you and Connor.”

“Isn’t that a lawyer’s job?”

“Do you know a single lawyer willing to take the case? You want things to change, you and Connor are going to put in the work to change them, in addition to your other cases.”

“Thank you.”

“Get out of my office.”

It’s only when I exit his office that I realize everyone is staring at me. A few officers are polite enough to try to hide it, but most aren’t even doing that much.

“What the fuck are you all looking at?” I snap.

I move to my desk, trying to ignore the empty seat across from it where Connor would normally sit.

“Lieutenant?” It was officer Chase. “Is he… is he alright.”

“He was shot, but he’s expected to make a full recovery.”

“I should have stayed with him, sir. I shouldn’t have listened when he told me to go.”

“Chase if you had stayed, you probably would’ve been shot. Connor knew that. He chose to protect you. You can’t beat yourself up about it. He’s going to be fine, he’ll be back at work in a few days.”

“Sir, I have to ask you” he trailed off, not meeting my eyes.

“Spit it out.”

“How did the protestors get past the officers at the border? How did they get to us?”

“That is an excellent question. Do me a favor, get me the personnel files on all officers stationed at the border today.”

“You think someone let them in?”

“Well I don’t think they got in on their own, and I know no officers were harmed other than Connor, so either they were the sneakiest sons of bitches this century…”

“Or one of us looked the other way.”

“Exactly. Get me those files.”

“Yes, sir.”

I left work early that day, a box of files tucked under my arm. I hate to take work home, but staring at the empty desk in front of me was getting under my skin. That and I kept catching people staring at me. Normally it doesn’t bother me but the relief on their faces when their eyes moved from me to Connor’s empty chair was making me sick. Connor is one of the best officers we have on the force, and not one of them treat him with decency.

I’m almost to the android border before I realize where I’m going. It’s getting dark, and my house is in the opposite direction and I really don’t want to turn around now. Might as well go see Connor. There aren’t any protestors at the border tonight. A few androids stand near the officers, and I recognize them as the ones who were with Markus. The androids have started their own patrols.

“Hank! What are you doing out here?” One of the uniforms calls.

“Just checking up on you low-lives Garcia.”

“You really know how to hurt me don't you Lieutenant?”

I spot one of the androids I recognize, “Josh!”

“Lieutenant Anderson! What brings you here in the middle of the night?”

“It’s 7 pm, Josh, I’d hardly call that the middle of the night.”

“Sorry, we just don’t normally receive visitors after dark.”

“I’m here to see Connor. He at his place?”

“Uh, no actually. He’s still at our medical center.”

“Still at your medical center? Jesus Christ, I thought he was going to make a full recovery.”

“He is, and Connor is fine but…”

“But?”

“One of his non-essential bio components was damaged. It was a component specific to his prototype. We don’t have the necessary parts to fully fix him.”

“So who does?”

“CyberLife. They’re the only ones who have the parts for his model.”

“So get the parts from them.”

“Why don't you walk with me Hank, I can show you where our medical center is.”

“Yeah okay.” I followed him as we moved away from the border, out of the earshot of the other officers. We walked in silence, deeper and deeper into the android territory. I could see lights on in the houses, hear the sound of quiet voices. It would have been sweet if it weren’t so sad. All of these people, forced to live at the margins of society. Josh came to a stop in front of a larger building.

“This is it, Hank. You’ll find Markus and Connor inside.”

“CyberLife isn’t going to give you the part, are they?”

Josh shakes his head slowly. “They’re stopping us at every turn. Markus went there earlier and they pulled their guns on him. Official channels aren’t working. North thinks we should storm CyberLife but Markus disagrees.”

“He’s right, the last thing you all need is to start a war. How long can Connor last without that part?”

“We don’t know. Connor keeps telling us that everything is fine but… They’re already seeing signs of wear on his systems. He’s having to overcompensate to keep himself running.”

“He’s a strong kid.”

“It’s not a matter of strength Hank. We need that part from CyberLife.”

“I’ll head over to CyberLife tomorrow. We’ll see if they change their tune when they find out he’s an officer of the Detroit PD. Can I go in and see him now? This box of files isn’t getting any lighter.”

“You think he’ll want to work?”

“He’s Connor, all he does is work.”

Josh led me inside the building. It loosely resembled a human hospital, but it was so empty. The androids didn’t have the equipment they needed to repair their people. Josh led me to the back of the building, where I could see several androids clustered around a bed. I recognized one of them as Markus. He wasn’t smiling, and he was staring very intensely at the person in the bed.

“Markus! Lieutenant Anderson is here!” Josh called, and Markus looked up at us.

“I came to see Connor.”

“I’m fine Lieutenant, you shouldn’t have come.”

The cluster of androids shifts away and I can see Connor, lying in the bed. He looks like shit.

“Well that's a bummer, I was all excited when they told me you were going to die.” I see Josh shoot me a look, and I pretend not to notice. “I brought you something.”

“I see, you brought me a box of files. Do we have a new case?”

“Not exactly. I brought you something else too.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a quarter. I move to toss it to him but Connor stops me.

“Don’t throw it, Lieutenant, I won't be able to catch it. My motor control is impacted by my injury.”

“Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.” I walk the rest of the way and set the file box down on Connor’s bed, dropping the quarter into his outstretched palm.

“We’ll leave you two to your work,” Markus gestures for the others to leave.

“Actually Markus, I’d like for you to stay. I think you need to hear this.”

He waits until the rest of the androids have left and then sits down on an empty bed. “What is it, Hank?”

“This box contains the personnel files on all of the officers stationed at the border today.” I take the lid off of the box and toss it next to Markus. “Somehow those protestors got past the police and onto android property without any alarms being raised.”

“You think someone, one of your men, let them through?” Markus looks between me and Connor, then reaches out a hand for a file.

“I did a little digging,” I start as I hand two files to Markus, two to Connor, And pull the remaining two onto my lap. “Six men were stationed at the border today, more than enough to cover the entire access section, yet those protestors still got in. No way a group that large got in without being noticed by at least one uniform.”

“Someone looked the other way, let them enter. Why?” Markus was flipping through the files.

“That’s what we need to figure out, who it was, and why he let it happen.”

“Or she.”

I looked over my shoulder at Connor, “What?”

“Or she,” He holds up a file, “Mattie Thompson.”

“Yeah, I know her. Good kid. She volunteered for this position, one of the only ones.”

“Lieutenant, there weren’t any female officers present when the shootout occurred.” Connor flipped through the file.

“No that can’t be right. There were six officers at the border, not counting Chase. I brought all six with me into the territory.”

“You brought six male officers in with you, Hank, I remember,” Markus said, closing his files. “Connor, let me see that picture of officer Thompson.” He surveys the picture briefly. “No, she definitely wasn’t there. Neither were the two in the files you gave me, Howard Greely and James Park.”

“Bryce Klapper,” Connor turned his attention to the other file I had given him, “I know Bryce, he’s a big guy, I don’t remember seeing him there either.

“Jesus,” I sigh, “What about my two, Fred Holloway and Victor Pretch?” I hold their pictures so both Markus and Connor can see them and they both shake their heads. “So none of the officers were who they were supposed to be?”

“It appears not,” Connor handed his files back to me, “and that’s not our only problem.”

“What do you mean?” Markus asked as he handed me back his files as well.

“Markus, you said you sent an android to the border to alert the officers.”

“I did.”

“So why were they all still at the border when Hank showed up? Officer Chase and I weren’t that far away from the border when we were surrounded, and you showed up from the other side of the territory in just a few minutes. The officers at the border were close enough they could have been there in a matter of seconds.”

“We need to talk to that android.” I put the files back into the box.

“Leave the officer’s pictures with me, Hank,” Markus stands and extends his hand, “I can ask her and a few of the others later tonight and have an answer for you by tomorrow morning.”

“I’m headed to CyberLife tomorrow morning to get a new biocomponent for you, Connor. When I bring it by after we’ll talk about this more. I’ll leave these files here, if anyone can piece this together it’s you.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Connor smiles, but there’s pain behind it.

“I should be getting home now before it gets too late.”

“I’ll walk you to the border Hank.”

“Thanks.”

He waits until we’re out of Connor’s view to let his shoulders slump. He stops just to the side of the medical center and stuffs his hands into his pockets, looking up to the sky and sighing deeply.

“What’s on your mind, Markus?”

“Hank, be honest with me. What are the chances that Connor was a random target?”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know if you’ve started to look at this as a targeted attack.”

“You think those protestors targeted Connor purposely?”

“Think about it Hank, there are much more direct ways to get into parts of town where there are far more androids that they could do far more damage to. I’ve listened to Connor describe it to me over and over. Those protestors surrounded him and the officer. They waited, and then they surrounded them. They only pointed their guns at us when we showed up to keep us back. If they had really just shown up to kill androids, then a lot more androids would be in those beds in there.” He sighs again, “Connor was always supposed to be escorted by two officers, for safety. He only had one today.”

“What?”

“He told me that officer Chase said officer Jones phoned in sick today.”

“Well, this is the first I’ve heard of that. He definitely didn’t let anyone at the precinct know. If he had, we would have sent a replacement.”

“Someone set Connor up for this situation today. I think we should consider ourselves very lucky that he’s still with us.”

“They’d better hope I don't catch up to them then, because I’m gonna give them hell when I find whoever is responsible.”

“Hank, I want to let you know you’ll have the full support of the android people behind you.”

“Thanks.”

Connor is a hero to a lot of us here,” Markus continued. “Without him, we would never have achieved our freedom. We aren’t likely to forget that, and neither is CyberLife. Connor had a meeting there early this morning, said he spoke to someone who wanted to grant us access to the factories under supervision. It seems a little too coincidental that he was almost murdered just an hour later.”

“I’ll look into it when I go there tomorrow.”

It’s silent. Markus is still looking up at the sky. I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“My people need hope, Hank. I don’t know if I’m enough to keep them going anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“People are angry. Four androids murdered and now Connor is attacked within our own borders and the city brushes us aside. People are calling for me to do more, to take action once again. Many of them are calling for violence. I’m doing my best to talk them down but,” He shakes his head. “I’m sure you noticed the androids at the border.”

“You’re taking your security into your own hands.”

“No Hank. I didn’t put those androids there to keep angry humans out. I put them there to keep angry androids in. We all need to tread carefully, I don’t want a war with the humans, but I’m afraid I won't be able to stop one if things continue like they are.”

“Is that a warning or a threat Markus?”

“I'll walk you to the border Hank. You need to be getting home.”

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wetookanoath · 5 years

Text

personal struggles, the fate of this and other blogs and apologies.

This year so far has been strange and not good for me and this blog. Some of you know my long history with hate in this fandom and while it’s always nice to hear your kind words, the hate I get is every day worse to the point I had to take off the anonymous option on this blog, my personal, the Library, the writing events and even the damn porn blog.

A few months ago I said I was gonna delete all blogs, and as promised I also deleted my twitter account, passed the instagram account to someone else (who hasn’t done anything with it yet), deleted other b*zzf*ed related blogs I ran, and left others I helped in.

I answered to every and all asks on this blog and the porn blog (most asks now on queue or drafts, waiting to be posted slowly to not spam), finished the event that didn’t went as good as it seemed and passed the administration of the Library to my personal account to never left it die down.

During this time, something happened in my personal life and I found myself in a very dark place I never thought I would go back to after it happened to me many years ago. But it did, and I had to dealt with it all over again, but this time there was a difference, this time I knew were to start and it helped me because I was able to ask for what I needed and get help.

I’m on meds again. I’m not proud of it and it... makes me angry that I’m ashamed to admit it. I’m making less money, lost a person, stopped writing, entered a rehab therapy for two weeks for depression (I didn’t tell anyone but my family, which won me a very long fight with my best friend and two of my best friends online), ended in the hospital last month.

That long period I spent away from this blog, forgetting to answer replies I got e-mails for and the days of check-in and whatnot for the Exchange, god they were so good even with all that mess going on. I watched and read so many things, even if suffered not writing and other physical things. But I felt good, I really did. Which I think it’s why I was happy to get back here, just to find hate on my inbox yet again (from the same person as always, by the way. This woman really is the saddest person on the planet. Yes, it’s about you. I know you are reading this), and I really thought “why do I keep doing this to myself?”

And then weeks ago I finally realized why. And it’s because I like this show so much. I like the pictures and the stories, the chat group I’m in even if sometimes I feel like they don’t like me, and most important, in spite of all the hate we get here, I love the stories I write for this fandom, and my ship. I’ve never wrote this good, gotten the chance to improve and learn better english too.

I love the writer I am in this fandom and I have wrote so much these past few weeks, and all because I started to write shy*n again.

So what do I do?

There are days when I forget this blog exists. It’s been so boring, this hiatus and how things have changed, the lack of content makes things dry and easier to forget. I just forget it exists, but then when I get in, it’s fun when there’s no hate. I find it entertaining to go into my blogs and tag everything properly, organize tag pages and make lists of films based on things, make edits, answer old asks I didn’t have time for before.

Since now that anonymous is off I don’t get any asks, I had have the chance to answer in depth so many things I had left behind before, it’s been fun. Like it used to be, January-July of 2018 came again to remind me of how things were before The Change. I enjoyed preparing this blog for my deperture, and I found myself not wanting to go.

My first thought after that revelation? “People is going to hate on me on anonymous for changing my mind”. Isn’t that fucking sad? That I have to condition everything I do so people won’t hate me on anonymous and say horrible things just because I complain bout things, then calm down and change my mind like any other normal person does on a daily basic... on my own, personal blog?

So, so far, this is what will happen:

The blog reminds, since it’s also kind of an archive for this fandom with how much has been posted that I know it’s resourceful to people for all kinds of things.

Anonymous will perpeturally be off in all my blogs. The Library’s inbox will remain closed.

I’m still going to take my long periods of ignoring this blog, so I’m sorry if you sent me any qs and I don’t answer right away.

It will be on perpetual semi-hiatus, since I will come back once a week to answer things, tag stuff, stock the Library’s queue and the one on this blog.

About the updates, I’m just going to post things I would like to archive myself.

New fanfics/chapters of fics coming every Saturday until I’m done posting everything I wrote these weeks. I’m still writing, so I guess my day of the week to check replies, messages and asks will be on Saturday.

I don’t think I will be around for the new season, not the way I used to. I’m so gonna watch it, but no posts from me anymore. This is a big maybe, since I’m not sure of many things right now, especially with my health as fragile as it is right at the moment.

There’s, so far, 131 original posts on queue. These are: lists that were requested on this blog on such things like all episode Shane called Ryan ‘baby’, personal favorite shyan moments with links (I worked so much in this one, I ended up hating it), etc., edits from many things, included shoots found in old articles and so on, the ongoing ‘fave insta pics’ series of Ryan, Shane, TJ, Sara, Kelsey and the boys in other people’s instagrams, more favorite fanfic edits, and more buzzships edits. Also, a few headcanons, rec lists and solo recs.

Queue will post three posts a day, one original text, one reblog, one original edit. Texts are less than the edits, so when they are over, it will be two edits and one reblog. I will be stocking the queue during my weekly visit, so I don’t know if it will eventually run off original posts or not.

Library reminds what it is, inbox closed until further notice.

Writing Events is over, though. I’m too tired for that. At least for a long break.

This really all depends on my health and how things are once the show is back. I miss the interaction a lot, so having lost the anonymous option it’s really a big bummer for me, and maybe to the people who did like to interact with me and the blog’s content in a positive way via this option. We’ll see.

And finally, I want to apologize not only for the long of this but for my negative reactions months ago. It was wrong, childish at times and out of character. I didn’t realize I was getting bad, and when I did it had already gotten worse. I can now look at all those desperate posts and see how bad I really was at keeping it together and how desperate I was to be okay.

While I still believe I didn’t deserve the harassment I was getting, I should had never given onto it and answer back. I shouldn’t. It was not only bad for me, but to the people who followed/follows this blog and engaged into the negativity too.

I caused that by acting exactly how the hateful people wanted me to, and instead of showing myself as the imperfect human being I am, all people saw was a crying girl asking to be appreciated and loved back. And the reality is that forcing those things to happen won’t make it any better, on the contrary, it makes it worse.

All those times I said, “why does people have to insult me for you to care about me?”, it was because I made it happen. I decided to posts those answers and reply to the hate, and it made people, worried by my answers and the tone of them (yeah, I was pretty suicidal and paranoid, I didn’t realize until recently), send their support. It made it look like that was the case, that I needed to be hurt for people to appreciate me.

But now, I don’t post those things. Had to shut down anonymous asks. And last week I got one ask, just one, of someone saying they love this blog. There was no reason for it, just someone who saw me online and send in their positivity. And it was the best thing in the world, those short words, the best ones.

So yes. My sincere and deepest apologies to everyone, involved or not, for having acted, well, toxic in the past months. Hopefully, it won’t happen again. Meds, no anon and semi-hiatus will make a difference, I hope. And things will be fine.

Thanks for the support, the kindness and the love. And thanks for reading this bible.

Love you,

Nina.

#this is long but i hope you guys read it #specially the apology #your local nerd talking.txt #personal #blog updates

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marriedthedark · 5 years

Text

Ladybug Week: Day 5 - AU

Demon Slayer (Kimetsu no Yaiba) AU, 3.1k words

A/N: I got a little carried away with this one cause omfg I love this anime. Seriously go watch Demon Slayer if you haven’t already cause it’s so good. TW: Some light to moderate descriptions of blood/violence. Also angst. Lots and lots of angst.

Blake pulled her haori tighter around herself as she felt the cool chill of a crisp night breeze. The wind seemed to swirl up around her and into the trees causing the leaves of the forest to whisper sweet nothings into the night. The full moon glowed above washing the landscape below in a soft silvery-white glow. For the average person, nights like these couldn’t have been any more breathtaking and serene.

But Blake wasn’t an average person; she was a demon hunter. She knew nights like these would all too often prove to be the deadliest for an unknowing village or traveler. Without the sun to protect them, they were nothing but sitting ducks. While most people didn’t believe in demons, Blake was among the unfortunate who knew better.

She closed her eyes and sighed as she thought of all the people she was too late to save. If only she had gotten to that hut sooner, if only she had been able to slice that monster’s head off quicker, if only she had been scouting her territory in the east that one night instead of the south.

If only she could save everyone who needed saving.

She knew it was impossible. No matter how many monsters she slayed, more would eventually come to take their place. The Demon Slaying Corps were a small organization run outside of the government’s control; there simply weren’t enough resources available to cover every square mile of Japan in which people lived.

Innocent people were going to be killed on her watch; that was part of the deal she had signed when she accepted her nichirin blades upon surviving the Final Selection. She knew this, so why did it feel like a knife had pierced her chest every time she failed to protect someone.

She sensed she was being watched. There was a rustle just beyond her in the thicket of trees, too loud to be an animal. Blake drew her dual nichirin blades out, their indigo-gray blades glinting dangerously against the moonlight.

“Who’s there?”

She was answered with another rustle, this one closer to her position than the last.

Blake slowly creeped forward, her blades ready to strike at a moment’s notice. She forced her heartbeat to calm as she prepared herself to come face to face with a hellish creature.

Imagine her surprise then, when she was instead met with the face of a teary-eyed young girl.

She staggered back in surprise upon hearing the girl emit a terrified squeal. Surely, this was not the sound of a bloodthirsty demon.

“I’m s-sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I was just standing here and I heard someone so I got scared and hid cause I thought it was a demon but you’re obviously not unless you’re a weird one that prefers to fight with swords or something oh I don’t know I just didn’t mean to scare you!”

Blake stared at the girl in bewilderment. Her eyes flitted to her waist where she saw the hilt of a sheathed blade, the scabbard hanging from the girl’s belt. This paired with the fact that she knew about demons, Blake came to the conclusion that she must have been a member of the Demon slayer Corps.

She had run into fellow demon slayers before, but none as young and seemingly cowardly as this one.

Upon realizing the lack of threat, Blake returned her blades to scabbards strapped to her back. She observed the girl more closely, taking note of the tear stains on her cheeks and runny trail of mucus streaming from her nose. Despite this, Blake saw no obvious wounds on the girl’s body.

“It’s all right,” Blake finally spoke. “I’m not a demon either. Are you a member of the corps too? What are you doing out here all by yourself? I’m the one who normally patrols this area.”

The other girl nodded as she sniffed against the sleeves of her red coat. Blake caught sight of a black Corps uniform peeking out; the same one distributed to new recruits.

“I-I just passed the Final Selection two weeks ago. I was sent on a mission to a village northwest of here. B-but…”

Fresh tears now started to trickle down her face.

“I got there and there was so much blood. I saw it with someone already in its mouth…I-I couldn’t save them.”

Blake felt her chest clench as the other girl sunk to the ground, burying her head in her knees.

“I couldn’t do anything! I was so angry and I wanted to kill it b-but everyone was already dead! I thought if I made it through the Final Selection I’d be ready for anything, but the things back THERE are nothing compared to what’s out here! I ran away until I ended up here so I could cry in peace. I shouldn’t have done this, I should’ve listened to Yang and my dad and not joined the corps. I’m not cut out for this…”

The sound of muffled sobs filled the air. Blake quickly scanned her surroundings to make sure nothing had tried to sneak up on them during the girl’s story. Once she deemed they were still alone, she kneeled before the girl with a handkerchief in hand.

“It’s all right,” she assured again. “I know how you feel.” She lightly tapped the girl’s knee as she spoke, prompting her to look up.

“My name is Blake Belladonna. I’ve been with the Corps for two years now, but I still remember my first mission.”

She couldn’t fully conceal her grimace at the unpleasant memory.

“It went a lot like yours did, actually.”

The girl looked at Blake with wide silver eyes as she took the handkerchief. She blew her nose loudly into it before using what unsoiled parts were left to clean her face.

“My name is R-Ruby. Ruby Rose.”

Blake smiled at the introduction.

“That’s a pretty name. Makes me think of a thick bouquet of roses you give to someone to let them know you love them.”

Ruby managed a tiny smile. She had never thought of her name like that before.

“I like your name too. It sounds cool and mysterious.”

Blake huffed in amusement. “Trust me, I’m not nearly as cool as other slayers I’ve seen.”

She then rose to her full height, extending her hand down towards Ruby.

“We should get out of here. It’s not a good idea to stay in one place like this.”

Ruby nodded before wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She gladly accepted Blake’s hand as she hoisted herself up off the ground. Now that they were both standing, she noticed that Blake was several inches taller than her.

“My camp is about four miles north of here. Mind having some dinner with me?”

Blake herself was surprised with her words; normally she wasn’t one to be quick with getting close to people. She always viewed herself as more of the loner type, and she liked it that way. Despite this, Ruby somehow managed to squeeze through the walls she thought she had firmly built around herself.

Ruby’s face brightened at the invitation. “I’d love to!”

It was then Blake noticed that their hands were still connected. She felt her face warm slightly as she dropped her hand back to her side.

“U-uh ok,” she stuttered awkwardly before turning her back on the girl. “This way then.”

The duo made their way down the hill with Blake leading the way. As they moved, Ruby decided to fill the silence with more of her personal history.

“My older sister Yang is a demon slayer too. She passed her final selection a few years ago. Now she travels all over, so I don’t get to see her as often. I still live with my dad though! His name is Tai Yang. He’s really cool, he taught both me and Yang how to be swordswomen. He didn’t want me to join the Corps though. I guess he didn’t like the idea of both his daughters spending their free time hunting dangerous man-eating monsters.”

“Understandable,” Blake stated curtly.

“But I just, I wanna help people you know? My mom was killed by a demon. Her name was Summer Rose. She was a slayer too I think, though I’m not really sure. I don’t remember much about her, and dad’s never really willing to talk about her.”

Blake hummed as Ruby spoke, letting the other girl know that she was listening. In reality, she was much more focused on making sure the path in front of them didn’t lead to a savage demon.

“Soooooo, what sort of technique do you do?” Ruby asked. By the way she was speaking now, you’d have never know that Blake had found her as a pitiful sobbing mess.

“I’m a breath of a flower user! It’s an extension of the water breath. My nichirin blade’s color is pink, which is a real bummer because that’s so close to red which is my favorite color, but I’m sure someone like you knows that you don’t exactly get to choose the color of your blade-“

Ruby’s breath halted in her chest as she walked straight into the extended palm of Blake; a signal to stop moving.

“Something’s watching us, and I don’t think it’s human.”

Blake withdrew the blades from her back as she took a battle stance. Ruby quickly jolted up at the realization that trouble was on the horizon.

“Oh right get your blade get your blade,” she muttered to herself as she fumbled with the scabbard on her waist.

Sure enough, the silhouette of human-like form a emerged from the trees ahead. Ruby felt herself tremble slightly as the full form of the demon came before them.

It had a tall and slender frame with long lanky arms. The hair on top of it’s head was as ghostly white as the skin that was exposed from the tattered kimono. A single, jagged horn protruded from the left side of the demon’s head while another unsightly spike jutted out from his right shoulder. Vertically slitted pupils set against sickly yellow irises stared down the two slayers, clearly reflective of the malicious intent of their owner. The demon’s mouth widened to a large, loathsome smile filled with two lines of razor sharp teeth.

“Very astute you are. I am definitely not a human, not anymore at least.”

Blake’s grip on her blades tightened at the demon’s grating voice. Normally she’d have no problem facing a lowlife like this by herself, but this time she had Ruby. She couldn’t do anything that would risk putting the younger girl in danger.

The demon’s brow pinched with curiosity as he continued to stare down the girls in front of him.

“Quite the unusual pair we have here,” he pointed towards Blake before continuing. “You seem to have an idea of what you’re doing. Haven’t seen many dual wielders around these parts.” His finger shifted towards Ruby’s position, “You however don’t seem to have the slightest clue about anything. If you tremble any harder the poor ground will give way under you.”

“Leave her alone!” Blake barked through gritted teeth.

“Oh dear, seems you’re rather protective over that pathetic little flower,” the monster sneered as a thick snake-like tongue licked its chops.

“I guess I know which one I’m sinking into first.”

“Ruby run!” Black screamed frantically as she shoved her back. The demon quickly closed the gap between them yet Blake’s quick reflexes managed to block the savage attack.

The monster reared back in pain. He looked down to his hands to see the gashes left behind from Blake’s blades.

“Not going to lie, that hurt a bit. Lucky for me wounds like these don’t take very long to regenerate.”

True to the monster’s word, the gashes quickly mended themselves. The stains of red remaining on his hands and wrists were the only sign that he had ever been struck.

Blake frantically looked behind her, praying Ruby didn’t somehow get injured in the altercation. Much to her dismay however, she saw no sign of the girl behind her.

She didn’t have much time to worry about that, as the demon once again came to the offensive.

“Seems the brat ran off, so I’ll deal with you first,” he laughed cruelly as Blake jump back against a tree to avoid his fatal blows.

This one is so fast compared to other’s I’ve fought. I can barely evade his attacks!

Blake jumped to a high tree branch out of the demon’s reach, partially concealed in the forest shadows. She drew in a deep breath as she quickly prepped herself for her swords’ technique.

“Breath of the beast first form, shadow strike!” she called out as she launched herself down towards her target, her two blades extended ready to pierce.

The monster however was prepared for such an attack, and was able to move out of the way before Blake could make contact. Blake was unable to react in time to account for her miss, and the demon seized his advantage and delivered harsh kick.

Blake screamed out in pain as she rolled across the ground, only being stopped by the base of nearby tree. The demon however did not relent, and she was forced to roll out of the way in order to avoid another savage kick.

She panted ragged breaths as she desperately struggled to her feet, the searing pain in her upper arm letting her know that bones were probably broken. While she could control her breathing enough to control the internal bleeding, fighting with only one arm would put her at an even larger disadvantage.

Still, she couldn’t give up. She needed to buy more time for Ruby to run away. She had already watched so many people die on her account. She would not let Tai Yang lose his youngest daughter. She would not let Ruby die.

Blake yelled as she charged towards her foe, her still-functioning arm ready to strike.

“Breath of the beast fourth form, umbra assault!”

The demon bough his arm up to shield the blow. While Blake was able to sever it, her wounded side was left vulnerable in the process. Despite the gruesome injury, the demon used his free arm to latch onto Blake’s neck.

The demon raised Blake in the air away from his body. Blake madly used what strength was left in her legs to try and kick her way out. Her swords clattered to the ground as she desperately clawed at the hand to release its grasp around her throat.

She knew panicking was the worst thing she could do; panicking meant wasting precious breaths. But as the demon’s vile grin drew closer to her face, Blake found herself becoming more frantic in her struggles. She felt herself becoming light-headed, and it was only a matter of time before she completely passed out.

“Looks like you’ve met your match, slayer filth,” The monster growled mere inches from her. “Anything you’d like to say before I pluck those pretty eyes out of their sockets.”

“Go to hell,” Blake wheezed in the demon’s deadly grasp.

The demon snarled in displeasure. Blake closed her eyes as she braced herself for what was inevitably going to come.

I’m so sorry Ruby. I wanted to be there for you, I really did…

Her eyes snapped open upon hearing the loud crack of a tree branch. Blake looked behind the monster to see a blur of red and pink.

“BREATH OF FLOWER FIRST FORM, SERRATED ROSE THORN!!”

Ruby screamed as she put every ounce of force behind one single stroke. She prayed to whatever gods may be out there that it was enough to slice through the demon’s neck.

Ruby landed unceremoniously to the ground with a loud thud. Despite the messy landing, she was able to roll herself quickly back to her feet as she stared at the result of her decision.

The demon’s body stood motionless, it’s head lying a few feet away. In spite of this, its grasp remained closed on Blake’s neck.

With tears streaming, Ruby dashed up to the corpse and sliced the remaining arm from the body. Blake instantly dropped to the ground, coughing and wheezing as she struggled to regain normal breathing.

The demon’s body began to turn to dust, it’s decapitated body slowly melting away like sand in the wind.

“I was defeated by YOU???” the head roared as it too began to disintegrate. “You puny, insignificant little WORM!!!-“

Those were the final words of the monster as both the head and body succumbed to the night breeze.

Ruby breathed a small sigh of relief. The monster was dead.

It was short lived however, as she dropped to her knees to quickly take Blake in her arms.

“B-Blake!!! I’m so sorry!! Please don’t die, I wish I could’ve done more but I didn’t want to get in your way. I thought about running but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I left you to die!” Ruby rambled on, her voice brittle as shattered glass.

Blake continued to wheeze, the gaze of her warm amber eyes fixated on bright silver ones.

Ruby bought her hands to gently cup her friend’s face. “B-Blake, please don’t die. Please don’t die,” she begged desperately. Her body trembled delicately as if a mere touch would cause her to collapse.

Summoning what strength she could, Blake raised a hand to place gently on Ruby’s own cheek. She coughed roughly before finally being able to speak.

“You…you saved me,” her voice came out in almost a whisper.

Ruby cried harder as the feeling of genuine relief finally washed over her. Blake was going to survive.

She bought her forehead down to Blake’s, nuzzling the other girl tenderly.

“I wanted to be strong for you.”

Blake smiled weakly as she felt Ruby’s tears drop onto her face, mixing with her own.

“You were always strong, Ruby. You just didn’t know it yet.”

#rwby #ladybugweek2k19 #rwby ladybug #blake belladonna #ruby rose #my writing #ladybug #I know this is super late dont @ me

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ecmusgrave · 5 years

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It’s 3pm on a Sunday. I am on an Amtrak train back to NY from a weekend in Virginia. It’s been a long weekend that has simultaneously felt extremely short, and I don’t feel ready to go back. I miss everyone already, my heart is heavy and I have still yet to get over this discomfort with goodbyes.

In between the last time I wrote and now, I had a birthday. I turned 24 on a day that began bitterly cold in Brooklyn and ended up being somewhat temperate by the time I walked home from the train at 10pm. I had friends out for sushi that evening, I called my sister, I called my uncle, I called my mom and dad. A few nights later more friends took me out drinking at Duff’s in Williamsburg. I was plied with good food all week and was reminded of how loved I am, and part of that was a mini-vacation the following weekend (ending today) to hang out with my sister Caroline, her husband Ryan, my sister Sarah and her two boys, at Caroline and Ryan’s house in Richmond.

Thursday was a dreary and kind of woozy day, the train ride down took forever (or felt like it did) and I finally landed at my sister Caroline’s around 10pm. She made me soup, and we sat around her dining room table, small but fitting for just the three of us. The soup was thick with celery and herbs and felt like the most nourishing thing I’d had in weeks, and I slept well that night.

I came to Virginia kind of sick and got sicker on Friday. The weather was rainy Friday and Sunday, but very nice on Saturday. Friday I was meant to get a tattoo from Katie Davis, a local artist who I’ve wanted to have a piece done by for years. My first tattoo was done by her husband, Fred Pinckard, at Salvation Tattoo in Richmond where they both work. I follow both of them on Instagram and realized I could take an extra day for this weekend trip and get a tattoo done by Katie. I was going to get a deer tattooed on the other side of my body from where Fred’s tattoo was done- hers would be on the outside of my left thigh. The deer was meant to be an homage to my time in the UK. Friday I spent most of the day throwing up, with some kind of stomach bug, so I had to cancel my appointment, which I made a month out. I felt awful about it.

My hope is to come back and get it done, but I think what I’m so disappointed about is that I don’t know for sure when I’ll be back. Train tickets are expensive, my budget is tight enough as it is, and I can’t really justify taking time and money to go do it. If circumstances were different I’d probably stay another night or so in RVA and get the tattoo done, but I’m still in such a transitional period (read: broke) that a $70 train ticket isn’t something I can shrug off. Maybe in a few months I’ll feel differently, but missing out on this session (after I’d set aside time and money!) because I was sick was a huge bummer.

So was missing out on a lot of things I wanted to do in the UK because I was sick, frankly, and so is not feeling like I have the money or time to go to a doctor (if that would even help?) and figure out what I need to do to not get sick as often as I do. I don’t want it to become a trend, I don’t want to have a weak stomach- but how much money and time do people waste in denial about medical conditions? How much time and money to people waste, in general? Am I wasting time and money by staying in New York?

Unclear, not the point. Now that I’ve done enough complaining:

The weekend was great as soon as my sister Sarah and my two nephews Nate and Eli, arrived at Caroline’s house. We sat around and played card games and I ate some rice and felt better, slowly. I woke up the next day feeling much better, though still tried to take it easy- maybe I’ve learned my lesson with overcompensating from a sick day. Sarah let me drive her Subaru to bowling, and I paid a cash toll for the first time, tossing the coins in a big silver basket coming out of the booth. The second time around I missed it (I’m publishing this on my blog, Jesus) and Sarah scrambled out of the car and picked up all of the coins I dropped for us to be able to get going. I ended up winning the second round of bowling, Ryan made us spectacular spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, we watched the 2018 Robin Hood movie and everyone just sat around, comfortably watching a movie, which I was taking part in for the first time in what felt like a long time. I am feeling tears prick at the backs of my eyes thinking about it.

And I got to go out and photograph under the Nickel Bridge in Richmond. I took Caroline’s car and drove less than two miles from their house to this park connected to a boarded-up pump house, and walked out on the towpath along the river for a while. It was cold enough to want for a jacket, but I didn’t need my coat. (I feel like I’ve been wearing a winter coat for eight goddamn years.) I leaned over a chain link fence and trespassed over CSX property and breathed in crisp pre-spring air and felt my feet sink deeper into the ground, and it felt freeing. Shooting 35mm and feeling free, in Virginia, is how I started taking the pictures I take now, and every time I do it I feel like I need to do it ten times over.

Caiti mentioned my feeling sad was about growing up, maybe growing away from my family more than I’m comfortable with. I said, if I’m growing up why do I still feel like a dumb kid? Does anybody ever really figure out how to balance this shit? I worry that my family feels that I’m aloof and inaccessible because I chose to live in New York. The truth is I don’t have the resources to put up more than one person, and my apartment is small enough that my family members (almost all of whom are older) would still feel cramped. I wanted to move away from the DC area, and wanted to avoid going to a community college, or taking a gap year, or embracing the unknown, when I moved to New York: I didn’t want to move away from my family, but that’s what I ended up doing, and now I have a life in New York and they have lives elsewhere.

And that’s okay! I’ve had important growth since then, and learned important lessons, and honestly having made a life for oneself (anywhere!) is a goddamn challenge, no matter who you are. I grant this. I trust myself, I trust my choices, but it’s hard when it feels like sometimes I’m turning my back on people who do things like scoop up coins from the road for me, or who get me a whole cake a week after my birthday so I still have candles to blow out, or who give me the last of their awesome homemade soup (even if I did reject it the following day), to pursue my own path and make my own choices and be my own person, somewhere that feels so far away.

Part of this is sadness that I’ve been denying my own narrative, under the pretenses of furthering others’. Right? It’s probably time I got serious about what I wanted, if I’m having the feeling that I don’t want what I have.

I had simple wants and needs when I started looking for a new job: I wanted free time without sacrificing decent pay, I wanted to be able to skip town every once in a while without getting into trouble or missing out on anything. (To be fair- two of my favorite standup comedians did shows in New York while I’ve been out of town.) I needed to take care of myself and not feel so irreparably sad all the time. I don’t think my wants or needs have changed much- just my ability to pay attention to them.

Our train is pulling through DC currently, in a minute I’ll look out the window and see Silver Spring. I went to Book Thug Nation in Williamsburg a couple of weeks back, spoke to the cashier at length about the store and the neighborhood since I’d never been before. It turns out he grew up maybe a mile away from where I did, in Silver Spring, home to many, beloved by few. We’ve now veered away and are plugging away through Hyattsville but I’m still stuck thinking about that conversation, where we talked about not feeling okay calling ourselves New Yorkers, even though that’s what all our family and friends from Maryland felt like we were. My parents often call me that, and I don’t mind, but it feels like a lie. We’re pulling through the suburbs just below Baltimore and the ground is already dusted with snow- it feels just shy of cruel- which is me being melodramatic. I just don’t want to claim this snow as mine.

I’m thinking about how terrified I was to move home and stop making work after college. The new work I’ve been doing, I decided recently (after a come-to-jesus with Julie over a mountain of nachos and some other very important dialogue), is about my impetus to keep making work after school. It’s about determination and willfulness and the urge to keep doing, to keep going. I’m doing it subconsciously but I’m doing it, mostly in places that aren’t where I live.

In some ways, I wonder if I’m honoring the places I’m from, the places I leave part of myself every time I leave, by bringing it back to New York and actually MAKING the work here. I don’t have an Imacon in Maryland or Virginia, it’s not like I would have guaranteed access to anything if I moved; I couldn’t even find somewhere that sold film south of New York, much less a place that develops it, without charging a huge markup. I made the choices I made not because they were wrong or right, but because they were my choices to make, and given the circumstances I was when I made them, I think I chose wisely. In this practice, though, I need the escape as much as I need to return to the fold. I was writing a few weeks ago about longing, and how longing leads to searching, and how, usually, if you search stringently enough, if you sift through enough dirt, you find something good. I’m still searching, and it’s a laborious process- but I have rewards. I have tangible evidence that I’ve made work and continued the patterns that are good for me (and dropped some that aren’t), which is what I wanted.

And I still want it- I think a casualty of that is feeling sad I can’t spend all my time in one place for too long without getting an itch to leave. I loved traveling. I will do more of it. I’ll also come back to the places I’m from more. I wanted to promise this with a tattoo, but I don’t need a tattoo to promise myself that. (Though I still want it, goddamn it.) I want it to be enough to promise myself something. While I was asleep an old friend texted me and asked what my goals were for this year: I think that’s a decent one.

#iPhone #Virginia #Richmond VA #RVA

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neth-dugan · 6 years

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Nine Worlds - Sunday

Saturday found [HERE]

I woke up on Sunday not feeling really tired, but also really sad that it would be the last day. And on Sunday stuff ends earlier too which is also a bummer. I get why, some have to leave in the evening but it’s still sad. This was also the day when I had the most panels to sit on.

AIs AND SUPERINTELLIGENCES - ARE THEY REALLY COMING FOR US?

...bonus points if you recognise this movie that wasn’t mentioned in the talk.

A good portion of this was on the history of computing, which was interesting, From pre-electronics to Ada Lovelace to Alan Turing to Siri.

I wish I remembered more. it went through a few modern computers that had passed various landmarks such as chess and go and the like. And then the ‘scary’ bit that sci-fi doesn’t tend to cover so much. If an AI comes about there is a good chance it’ll focus on one task and obsess over it, and do so in a way that human brains don’t get and can’t really combat. Like, they could focus so much on one menial thing that they take over the planet to make the perfect paperclips.

To me, a question at this point is does this count as an AI? If it can’t reason its way that destroying the world to make a paperclip is a tad much is it a true AI or just a very very smart and resourceful paperclip making software.

It’s not like I’d expect AIs to think in the same way humans do, but some ability to reason and set their own goals or change their minds would seem to be a part of it. And endlessly striving towards perfecting one goal originally programmed into them by a human that they can’t break free of? Not sure that counts. I know even humans can be very goal orientated, and some of us can focus very intently on things and that is our thing. But the way the speaker was talking about it sounded different. I don’t know. Would be interesting to stick people from different fields in a room and have a chat about it.

A thing I found interesting in all this talk of AIs going way too OTT to fulfil an imperative, and AIs taking over for whatever reason... there was no mention of texts where humans wilfully submit. Which, granted, there aren’t a lot. I had to run off after this for my own panel but I made sure I told the speaker about Travellers. It isn’t the main plot of the story or anything but worth checking out for how they do the AI thing.

OUR LAST, BEST HOPE FOR SCIENCE FICTION:25 YEARS OF BABYLON 5

It’s been twenty five years since the B5 pilot, and it’s still one of the best science fictions hows out there, and one with far too little recognition. Last year, @knittedace and I kept saying we need to do a B5 panel this year. Needed to do one. Turns out we weren’t the only ones an a bunch of us submitted a proposal for one, and the Nine Worlds content folk shoved us into an e-mail group together and let us figure it out. Which is amazing, but also daunting because there is so much to talk about for this show. @knittedace decided she’d rather be in the audience but still, so much fun.

One of our panelists cosplayed as Londo last year and offered to do so again for this panel. Someone, at some point, suggested he remain in character for the panel, and so it began. Ambassador Mollari moderating it which a bottle of his favourite tipple on hand, and Centauri woman on hand to keep him in line, a Bajoran Starfleet officer trying to bridge rifts and a human along for the ride.

...the Bajoran Starfleet officer (me) praying to Susan Ivanova

Funnily enough, the night before this I was approached by a guy who was going to be on my Star Trek panel. It turns out he has a Psi Cop uniform and wondered if I wanted him to turn up in it. I said yes please, that would be fantastic. And when he turned up? It was a very good uniform, and as an impromptu thing I asked if he wouldn’t mind staying in character for the session. He said yes and it was so good.

...the Corps is mother, the Corps is father.

People noticed coming in that he was there, and what he was doing, and I think a few were rather tickled by it. Before the panel proper started I did warn them all that we had him there, and as such we all needed to send him nasty thoughts in 5, 4, 3, 2...1. And he played along. There was a fair bit of this going on through the panel at different bits and I don’t know how it looked to others, but sitting on stage it felt great.

We did a quick stop tour about a lot of things. The fantastic women of B5, and how they’re all different from each other. How characters grow and change and have depth, and in fact there is a lot of change in B5. We talked a fair bit about how it shows the rise of racism and how insidious it can be. How it can sneak up on you. And how we need to learn from that. How it did well regarding diversity, especially given its time and how it made Ivanova bi and treated same gender marriage as a simple fact of life in the time period of the show.

One line I remember fondly coming from Londo was “Behold Minbari Jesus - his name is Jeff”. Which made me laugh inside a fair bit.

We talked a lot about our favourite moments. I couldn’t choose. I was stuck between this moment, this moment, and the War Without End two parter. Londo stepped out of character and the real person talked about this amazing scene between Londo and G’Kar that you can see here and I’ll never do justice describing.

We also talked about Michael O’Hare. It turns out not everybody knew his story, so here is a link to JMS himself talking about it. But in short, he wasn’t well and had some mental health issues going on in the first season to the point where he had to leave at the end. Nobody on the cast knew, they thought he was just odd or short tempered but had no idea. JMS got him as much support as he could on set, ready to pull the plug when he needed to. Which he did at the end of the season. O’Hare told JMS that when he died, he could tell the world what had happened. And so JMS did.

It amazes me what that man went through, that he was determined to keep the show going, keep all the people working on it employed and tell that story even though it was hard and there had been offers to stop production. It makes me sad that he felt the stigma around mental health to the point where he couldn’t be open about it, or that he wasn’t able to receive better treatment whilst working. We do know that he did get treatment and he eventually got better as he appeared in season three for two episodes and you can visibly tell he looks better.

Babylon 5 has had a lot of deaths in its cast over the years. A lot, especially considering it wasn’t even made that long ago. In the group we’d decided we were definitely going to do a moment of silence in the memory of those now beyond the rim. And though I think we were going to do it at the end, it felt right to do it after talking about O’Hare, as he is one of those deaths. He died of reasons unrelated to his mental illness, for those wondering.

...two of those now lost to us.

Despite that sombre note, we had a fantastic panel and had a great time. Our resident Psi Cop took the microphone around the audience for us instead of one of the tech volunteers (who usually do it). We had a few people in Star Trek costumes, myself included, and we did mention Star Trek and DS9. All without being mean, hostile or falling into that trap of ‘we must be rivals and look down on DS9′ thing you see in some B5 groups.

I’d declared there would be none of this on the group chat before, all agreed, and at least one person mentioned to me after that they were glad this didn’t happen. So yay.

Also, at the end I declared one side of the room purple, and one side green. The room was decently full and even if one side didn’t go back as far, I don’t think there was a massive difference in numbers. So after checking it was okay with everyone, we had a shouting contest and whichever side won, won for their team.

Purple won. Even if I weren’t on the panel, I still think this would be a up on events this year.

FAT REPRESENTATION IN GEEK CULTURE, PART TWO (SECOND BREAKFAST)

A sequel to a pane a couple years back that I wasn’t at, this was amazing. It was, in large, a big group therapy session on living life when you’re big. How you’re treated and dismissed and harassed and ridiculed. How people will justify it as being ‘concerned for your health’ which is a a bunch of bull. The ignorance and also how the way we grow up and society leads to self loathing and the like. The need for body positivity and how some parts of the fashion world are starting to cater to us.

It was pretty freeing. Nine worlds in general is pretty great about size. I’ve never felt shamed for being large. Never felt out of place for it or looked at the wrong way. But this space especially was really great.

There are things you don’t get if you aren’t fat. The way people can look at you when you eat, the way you’re sometimes scared to eat your fill, the way being your body is seen as itself an imposition on the space of others just by existing or sitting down. The way you’re always so conscious of that. Of that person who jumps out of their seat next to you the minute they can to go sit somewhere else. Anywhere else.

So this? I loved this.

...now, if people designing clothes for us fat folk would realise that me being fat does not mean I have big boobs. Or that some of us carry in the stomach a ton. And design for that. And get models for that.

If they do this again next year? I am going back. That is for sure.

SUBVERTING BRO CULTURE AND FANWORKS

Whilst waiting for this to start, being the only panelist in the room for a while and not wanting to stare ate folks, I struck up a conversation around B5 and Star Trek, I think. I know B5 was in there at least. But, y’know, nerd convention. To be expected.

I was asked to be on this pretty late, had the least prep out of the four I sat on or ran, and mostly agreed for the Check, Please! content that would likely pop up. There was a lot of sports fandom stuff which I don’t know so well, but also a lot of things that work fandom wide. And culture wide. And another panelist knew a lot about a game I know nothing of, but themselves knew nothing of Check, Please! It was kinda amusing, but still worked some how I think.

It occurred to me, that maybe one of the reasons you get so many coffee shop AUs (and similar) is to take these characters doing dangerous things in very bro culture places and put them into a different place. A less bro place, a safer place. I’m still fed up of the things but I do wonder if that’s the case, and that makes me think of them better.

If you look at fandom, at some of the popular tropes or tendencies you see a lot of this. Characters in a very masculine environment, and fandom deconstructing that somehow. Either by complete AUs or by building families or what have you.

There was a lot of real life sports situations, sports fandoms and real life bro culture at college. How some places are trying to dismantle this but especially in universities with the constant turnover of students etc it takes real effort and framework.

Oh, also, lots of good things said about Brooklyn Nine Nine. Which. Yes. That show is so good and subverts so many stereotypes and it doesn’t have the ‘chase you endlessly’ guy ‘win’ the girl, but eventually realise they need to back off. And Terry. And Jake who starts off not the best, though still better than most, and just gets better and better. And. And. Good show on subverting bro culture, that one. Also lots of talk of Black Sails, but I know nothing of this sadly. One of its actors turned up and was on a panel I think? Don’t know which actor or which panel though, but that is awesome. I’d so do that in their position too.

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY - SQUEE AND MOAN

Some time last year before the show aired, a bunch of nerds decided we would likely want to talk about this show at Nine Worlds and all submitted the idea of ‘Star Trek: Discovery. Something. We’ll figure it out later’. And then much like my B5 group, we were all thrown in together to figure it out. It seems like my title was kept but honestly? It wasn’t a ton of moan. The panelists were all fans, something I warned the room of ahead of time.

Much like my Queer Dax panel last year, there were a fair few people in the room before start time. So we ended up having a pre-panel panel on Star Trek in general and the new Picard series specifically. I also recommended ‘A Stitch in Time’ by Andrew Robinson (Garak) and how you can get it as an eBook now. I know for a fact at least one person has since bought it. Muahahahaha.

Our friend the Psi Cop from earlier had now changed uniform to TOS movies uniform, now a proud Starfleet officer. A far better costume than my TNG uniform hoodie and pin. After asking permission to audio record it, he did so and so you can listen to the entire panel here. It’s about an hour long but I think interesting.

Honestly, I could’ve kept talking about it for ages. I had notes of what we’d agreed to talk about on e-mail, and which order of priority they sat at. Of course new stuff pops up and the flow of it means you may miss a thing or flip the order a bit but I find having that sort of thing really useful. I tweeted about it later and Doug Jones, Saru himself, liked it so yay. Someone on the cast knows a convention full of nerds in England love his work.

We talked about diversity, how like other Treks this one was made to fit the world we live in as it is made. How the tone of sci-fi has shifted and if that’s impacted things. Diversity and representation. Some things we didn’t think were so great. But generally it was a big ‘WE LOVE YOU’ fest.

It was also the last formal panel of Nine worlds. I think there were a two things in the slot after, but this was in the last major slot. It was an honour really.

FOOD AND DINNER AND REST OH MY

So I’d been separated rom @knittedace and @laalratty most of the day. I was also a bit tired and kinda wondering around the bar area when I came across @unwoundbobbin and proposed the four of us go to dinner if everyone was okay with it. But I did need to go to my room and rest a bit.

So I did, everyone was good with the idea, though it took the three of us a while to get back downstairs to meet up with @unwoundbobbin again. There was some Slash played but we went off to Wagamama’s for dinner where we had great food and good conversation. Me and @knittedace were out of costume at this point.

It was sad. End of the con. But there was one formal thing left...

THE NOT THE END OF THE CON QUIZ

The quiz at the end of the convention. It is tradition, though it was also a new group of people doing it this year.

The four of us got a table, and found ourselves sharing with another two, and then another two people found their way to us later. Amusingly, at dinner there had been talk of which topics would be preferable to turn up. They turned up.

@knittedace and @laalratty got us most of our points, the everyone contributed and in a tough race every single point is essential. At one point @laalratty thought the giant spider in Harry Potter was called Aragorn and that was amusing but I’m not kidding. Those two were fantastic. And when we won? We won in large part thanks to them.

...me with my price of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers coaster. TRICERATOPS! I’m also slightly worried about the Riddler, looks like something may be afoot.

We got to go up and pick out our prizes, a few bits of ‘stuff’ per person. I saw Power Rangers and went ‘MINE!’ and so now I have MMPR coasters. It was all kindly donated by a con goer and quiz partaker who was apparently trying to clear out a lot of nerdy goods they have. Which seemed to have not been touched, packets not opened and the like.

IT’S THE FINAL CON NIGHT.... *CRIES*

And that was it. The last official event of Nine Worlds. Our team drifted towards the bar, claimed a table for victory celebrations. Which mean @knittedace wearing an inflatable crown she’d chosen as a prize, and playing Slash.

A good portion hadn’t heard of slash before so we had to teach them. Some just wanted to watch rather than play - though some of them joined in. I think everyone was enjoying themselves in their own way and I was glad to have a big long hard game of Slash. I felt like I hadn’t been playing it nearly enough, as Nine Worlds is the only place I can.

I did manage to convert several people to it though. It should be noted, that it’s a home made deck and we don’t really play with any rules. It’s mostly card assisted crack fic creation. As the night went on some drifted away to bed, some others drifted towards us and joined in. It was fun.

Whilst this was going on, and as the bar slowly emptied, there was another group of people in the bar doing tarot reading. Me, @laalratty and @knittedace stopped there on the way to our room. Got our readings. Mine was done on this really awesome deck that was queer friendly and fat friendly and stuff. I loved the artwork. I don’t believe there’s any actual magic or power in it other that what we choose to place on it ourselves. But it was fun. And the person doing it was pretty awesome themselves, asks you questions and makes you think. Which is tarot at its best I think. Not the claiming to know what will come next.

As all this was going on, a group of nerds had gathered around a grand piano near the main lobby entrance. The lift that brought in people from the outside world, and a few people did arrive to find themselves being serenade with nerdy songs they didn’t understand. But it was great. They sang well, the piano player played well. The woman who did the BSL sessions was there and I think was signing at one point.

We neared them to get to the lifts to our room, and as they did so I heard them sing this song. Which will always and forever make me think of Due South. Of new beginnings in endings. I think I said something long the lines of ‘OMG!’ when I realised what they were singing and surprised them. Oooops. But that song gives me many feels. I don’t know if anybody there knew of the Due South connection, but I hope so.

And with that, me, @knittedace and @laalratty went to the room. Went to bed. And Nine Worlds was over. Which makes that song being the last thing I heard at the convention fit pretty well, to be honest.

MISC STUFF

So, our room? Our room had the best number ever.

Yup, three asexuals got to the room, saw the 69 and giggled a lot. And found it amusing all through the convention. Didn’t tell anybody at the time as giving your room number to strangers is a bad idea. But we aren’t there now, so I can share.

They put three asexuals in a 69 room. Brilliant.

On a not so fun side, every night there was a disco I could hear it as I tried to get to sleep. On the fourth floor. I am not best pleased by that and really wish they’d turn the volume down. It’s annoying enough for me, but at least I know what is going on and understand it. Not everyone at the hotel is a convention goer. People have been telling Nine Worlds for years to please turn it down but it’d seem not.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT POLICE THING? THE FUTURE OF NINE WORLDS?

I’m going to do a separate post for that. I will link to that both HERE and on Thursday’s post once posted.

#nine worlds #nineworlds #babylon 5 #star trek #omgcp #body positivity #b99

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