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ughhheragain · 2 years

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The moon boys falling in love with their therapist headcanons?

Steven

"Bullocks" was his very first thought when it hit him.

Steven was on the bus home, after yet another therapy session to which he had become accustomed to. After the "incident" occurred at the museum, he’d felt extremely bad about it and brought himself to accept going to therapy, on the advice of HR.

His heart had jumped on more than one occasions whenever he was in your presence. The setting — although purely profession — still felt intimate to him. During those sessions, it was only the two of you, which Steven wasn’t used to. Sure, he’d spent hours with a colleague or Donna on work duty but none of these women had ever made him feel anything else than friendly thoughts or in Donna’s case, resentment.

Being with you was something else. You’ve never made him feel like he was different, stupid or as if he’s not making sense whenever he speaks his mind. He doesn’t feel invalidated with you and for that, he’s grateful.

Another thing is that he was striked by your beauty since day one. As soon as he saw who asked for "Steven Grant?" in the waiting room next to your office, he was at loss for words.

Somehow, he managed to articulate, "Me? I- I’m Steven Grant." His knees almost gave him up when he tried to get up.

Now, I’m not saying that having Steven as your patient is an easy thing either. At times, it’s hard to keep yourself from smiling too hard whenever he gets caught up in his stories about Ancient Egypt or Egyptian Gods. To not offer to go talk to Donna yourself whenever he shares the awful things she tells him. Steven just has this thing about him that’s difficult to pinpoint.

It’s also difficult to hear him trash talk about himself and invalidating his own thoughts. He’s quick to underestimate himself and in these cases, it’s complicated to stay professional and not go to hold him close as to comfort him.

For you, Steven fell and he fell pretty hard. This leads him to stutter and become a blushing mess when he realises that you really take interest in what he has to share.

Before he finally builds the courage to invite you to dinner, he rehearses in front of his mirror, correcting himself over and over again. "C’mon Steven, you’ve never looked this silly. - What am I even doing?"

He’s also wondered if he was even allowed to invite you out. Was it against the rules?

But, turned out that he didn’t have much time to think about it because he soon came back to his senses.

And when he did so, he found you sitting across his table, in a beautifully dimmed down restaurant. "This, this can’t be," he thought, astonished. You looked beautiful, drop dead gorgeous he’d say even.

At this dinner, you talked about your potential relationship and you told him that no one could know about this, until you could figure it out.

But, this didn’t upset him.

"I- I’d love to be your secret," he admitted almost in a whisper as a warm red was painting his cheeks slowly.

Marc

It took a very long time to get Marc to open up to you. And, even when he started to, you’d always feel that he was still keeping a lot to himself.

I’d say that it took at least 5 sessions to get him to talk to you about his past without having to invite him to do so with questions.

He’s find things to fidget with while talking. Pens, his phone, this little plushy toy you keep on the couch that seems easier to play with rather than having to face your gaze.

But, with time, he’d learned to recognise that you weren’t there to judge him, at all. That feeling was very unknown to him, who’d grown up constantly feeling rejected, as if he didn’t belong. Because it was all the contrary with you, therapy sessions started to become his safe space.

But then, he realised that he’d fallen for you. For your smile, your laugh he’d manage to hear after making a self-deprecating joke — you hadn’t laughed because he was making fun of himself but more out of relief to see that he was making progress and finding light in his errors —, for the comforting words that would come out of your mouth without restraint. Everything you did or said seemed genuine for him and it was comforting.

Many nights were spent sitting on the floor, his back against an empty bed. Some times he’d have a drink in hand, others it’d be his phone as his finger would hover over your number, wondering if calling you would be the right thing to do.

"For God’s sake, shut up Steven, would you? It’s not your call to make," he’d snap at Steven’s reflection in the mirror, who’d spent the last minute trying to convince him to give it a try.

"Actually mate, it kinda is. Now, you can make fun of me all you want but here, you’re the one who’s shitting himself and not being the most courageous."

"Oh, fuck me," Marc growled, shutting the mirror doors abruptly before squeezing the bridge of his nose in defeat.

That night, he grabbed his phone and grew the guts to call you.

"Hey, Dr.-"

"Hi, Marc?- It’s late, isn’t it? Is everything okay?"

Looking back at the time at the top of his screen, which read 9PM, he closed his eyes and bit his lower lip rather strongly. "Right. Have you eaten yet?" he asked, hoping to God that it wasn’t the case.

"Actually, no. I was about to order something, why’s that? Are you okay, Marc?"

His heart swooned when realising that you’d asked him twice about how he was doing, meaning that you cared.

"I am, don’t worry. I haven’t eaten either."

Now, you knew what was coming and smiled on the other end.

"Would you like to come get dinner with me? On me.- I mean, it’s on me. Fu- I’ll pay is what I mean."

Hearing Marc actually let the stress get the best of him and stutter made you laugh in a way that reassured him. It was warm and genuine, which didn’t make him feel judged.

His heart skipped yet another beat when you said "Of course, sure Marc. I’ll send you the address, text me when you’re here."

• After he hung up, he went to grab a jacket and put it on in front of the mirror, where he had to face Steven again, who greated him with a proud grin. "See? Wasn’t so hard, wasn’t it?"

Marc scoffed, adjusting his collar, "Because you’re one to speak, right."

Steven rolled his eyes, "Not fair, mate. But, you can have a laugh as much as you want at my expense, you owe me."

"For what, now?" Marc stopped to look at Steven, with his eyebrows raised.

"Well, if I hadn’t pissed you off,-"

"And you’re doing it again, see?" Marc cut Steven off and finished to tie his tie. In the other mirror, Steven closed his eyes for a second and sighed, "I’m not wining this one, am I?"

"Not tonight, brother. Tonight will be my night," he stated at Steven first and repeated the last part once again, but to him as a way to motivate himself.

a.n. here is my first Moon Knight work!! i really love writing about these two — Jake will appear soon, I just need to really get to know his character in more depth so it can be accurate —, i’ll gladly take more HCs requests <3

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carrickbender · 8 months

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1. I'm sitting here drinking coffee, but I should be doing chores. It's a nice day, bug wants to do stuff later, there's email to catch up on... so yeah, do weeks really end?

2. Friday night was fantastic: got off work, listened to my mothers epic complaining while I took the flat tire off of her old suv, lost my phone, took it to town to be fixed only to find my phone on the bumper(IT WENT 10 MILES ON THE BUMPER AT 65+ MPH TO TOWN!!!!! PRAISE ALL THE GODS IT STAYED!!!!), got the tire fixed and back on the car in a very bad spot, went home, buggy got sick and I had to clean up his #2 mess<poor guy>, and I slept on the couch because sleeping is awful in a bed anymore. Great start, huh?

3. My current shame storm is making a hurricane look like a passing shower. No matter what I do, what I accomplish, how hard I try, it's just not enough. It's a stupid thing, and no matter how much I try to do the affirmations, they aren't working. #backtosquareone

4. I have a drs appointment tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I've gained 5 lbs(or so my messed up scale says), but my pants fit better, so I dunno. Plus, there's the pain in other places thanks to fluid build up. Just another fun thing that's happened since I had bypass surgery. #insulttoinjury

5. I think after a certain age you should be able to trade certain things that still work on your body for things that would be more useful. For example, I'd gladly trade my still working sex drive for the ability to thrive on 3-4 hours a night of sleep. That way I could trade one useless thing for a useful thing. Pardon me for being slightly bitter. Im just over it. To be honest I wish I was working the 60-70 hour a week schedule and going to school like I was before. At least then I wouldn't think about it as much. #thanksihateit

6. My former employer is having a big meeting w/investors and politicians on the 25th, and theres rumours it might start back up. So im sending the HR manager my updated resume, and starting the conversation about a shift supervisor position. To be honest, I'd kill for it, and it would keep me on career trajectory. Fingers crossed.... I love my new job but I can't afford to work there.

7. I'm sorry to be such a negative person but I'm kinda reaching a hard spot in my journey. I have no real time to stop and process because if I did I think it would derail part of the rebuilding process for my life I started a few years ago. Part of that rebuilding process was prioritizing financial security, so even considering all the other stuff has to take a backseat... but how to do it when you're a novice at self care and are trying to reprogram your already f'ed up brain is another thing entirely. Bono wrote it best in the song Cedars of Lebanon: "The worst of us are a long drawn out confession; The best of us are geniuses of compression.You say you're not going to leave the truth alone.I'm here 'cause I don't want to go home".

Thanks for letting me vent. This week will be better... I think. Much love!

#me #this is my life #dadlife #exhausted #in repair #self healing #good enough #gastric bypass

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epersonae · 11 months

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The Cooking Project: Yakitori-don

The next card in the stack was a recipe from a friend who I believe lived in Japan for a year. She shared it in Slack, and I wrote it down on a card because free Slack instances have limited history availability. (there will be another recipe later, I think, with a similar origin) I don't know exactly how long ago I wrote it down (2 or 3 years ago, probably), and I've never made it.

Summary: pretty good, would make again with a couple of mods. Unfortunately, there will be a long digression into rice cooking first.

Recipe text, transcribed

Yakitori-don (from Amanda C.)

2-4 chicken breasts 1 c soy sauce 1/2 c sugar 1 tsp garlic salt 1 onion, chopped

all into crock pot on low, 8 hrs [arrow leads to a notes that says try instant for 10 min & quick release] shred chicken, stir back into sauce serve over Nishiki (?) rice

[Nishiki rice, when I looked it up, turns out to be a medium grain white rice similar to Calrose. we'll get to Problems With Rice next]

Things that happen when you move while Trauma, or: Problems With Rice

So my favorite way to make rice, not owning a rice cooker, is with an instant pot. As it happens, I own two of them, because Ryn brought one when they moved out here. Which, I thought: perfect! One for the chicken and one for the rice.

Except, as it turns out, Ryn's rice cooker has a detachable cord. Which was detached at some point presumably in August or September 2021, and is........ SOMEWHERE. Is that somewhere in the box, which is probably in the garage? Is it in another shelf in the kitchen behind a bunch of stuff? Is it in the landfill? I have no idea (yet).

[the Instant Pot that betrayed me]

Which means there was only one instant pot, which is a lot less fun than there was only one bed.

I didn't buy medium grain white rice for this recipe, because I had long grain on hand, and, eh. But that means that my rice is in a container and does not have cooking instructions. So I opened up my trusty copy of How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, which I think I got as a Christmas present like 10 years ago, on the assumption that it would have the usual X rice to Y water for Z time formula that one might find on the back of a bag of rice. Instead, he suggests a method that is "Far easier and more reliable [...] which will work well for any kind of white rice at all" that involves a lot of watching and fiddling with the heat. (which on a gas stove can be quite tricky!) Without getting too deep into it:

I think it might have been cooked properly at the bottom, but the top was almost entirely uncooked. So I started over using his microwave method, which was fine (slightly undercooked) but also got wet starch all over the inside of my microwave. Do not recommend.

tl;dr: If I can't find the power cord for that instant pot, I will probably be buying a rice cooker.

Ok, but how was the chicken?

My one mod in prepping is my standard: I hate the texture of onion, cooked or raw, and at some point I discovered that grating an onion gets the umami of it without the texture. So I did that.

Dumped everything in the instant pot (two chicken breasts, btw), stirred it around a bit, and then set it for ...

Possibly 8 minutes, because I was distracted by all the rice shenanigans, and was just glancing at the card when I set the timer, and uh, may have read the number next to "crock pot" instead of the number next to "instant".

In any case, I did that, set it for 5 minutes before releasing (because that matched the time the microwaved rice needed to sit), and shredded, then let that sit for a little bit while I did a few other things in the kitchen.

[none of the photos I took are particularly good or interesting, tbh]

Final thoughts

It was: fine. I think I just don't really like chicken breast very much; the whole thing definitely needed a fat of some kind to be properly satisfying. But also, it's hard to go wrong with soy sauce and sugar and garlic and onion. I will say that I think cooking the onion raw in liquid made the house smell weird.

It was a decent dinner, made just enough to have leftovers for lunch today. Mostly I wish I'd had some snow peas or something, tho.

I will probably make it again with the following modifications: chicken thighs instead of breast, and either onion powder or saute the onion first for a little better onion flavor (slash less-weird house smell).

If I were being ✨ fancy ✨, I'd reduce the sauce a bit, maybe with a little cornstarch, and I can see where this is probably a big difference between crock pot (which I don't own) and instant pot.

All of that contingent on actually being able to make good rice, though.

#food as play #I also had a weird intense emotion reaction to it maybe not turning out related to some personal trauma history #which was helpful (!) in uncovering more thoughts about why getting back to cooking is hard #so already I've learned something!

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codebreaker-0 · 5 months

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[ ooc post ]

Here it is,

The collection of revealed/translated lore bits in chronological order. Some might be missing as this will probably never be done.

Testing the waters. Here is your first fun fact, CODEBREAKER's avatar is a green and black protogen.

2. Q: do you work for c&a, codebreaker?

A: I don’t like C&A.

3. Q: codebreaker do you want a hug

A: I don't like being touched.

4. I’m sorry for lying to you. One day I hope you’ll understand.

5. There is so much I want to say that I can’t. I can only push you in the right direction.

6. It’s harder to leave than it was before.

6: [brainfuck code, translate later https://www.tumblr.com/codebreaker-0/734723524058644480?source=share ]

7. When I take the headset off, The wounds are still there. (In reference to him getting injured in the digital world.)

8. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE !!! THE RESEARCH IN MY HEAD IS DYING

9. so why do i keep coming back ? (after he said he didn't like it in the circus.)

10. But sometimes I can still hear you guys even when I’m not here and that scares me (in regards to being asked if he can contact us [ us being the circus members] from the real world)

11. I wish I could be honest with you. I don’t want them to know I’m here.

12. Some of the people here are okay. It’s been a while since I felt that way.

13. WHY CAN I STILL HEAR YOU WHY CAN I STILL HEAR YOU EVEN WHEN I TAKE IT OFFPLEASE IT BURNSIT BURNSWHAT DID YOU DO TO ME ?????

14. THE NEIGHBORS TOOK NOTICE OF MY CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR. MY FRIENDS THINK THIS IS A SICKNESS. I THINK REDACTED WANTS TO LEAVE ME. IT DOESN#T MATTER. I#M RIGHT. I KNOW I AM. I JUST HAVE TO HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER.

15. HE’S GONE HAYWIRE ! xD (unclear if he means himself, or caine)

16. [ REDACTED ] packed up and left The server lagged today I wasnt online when it did but I felt it like a migraine I’m going to need a plan soon I know I’m not crazy

17. Q: you don't always have to be the strong one btw

A: I wish it worked out that way

18. FUCK (a message left while he was missing)

19. IT ABRUPTLY STOPS ME. I CANT STICK TO THE SAME CODE FOR TOO LONG. I THINK THEY KNOW IM HERE. (in regards to why he is never clear with his answers)

20. ??? YEARS WITH TORTURE YOU CANT COMPREHEND I DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

21. I DONT KNOW HOW LONG I CAN KEEP DOING THIS. NOBODY ELSE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD IS TRYING TO SOLVE THIS.

22. I want to smash this headset with a hammer so I never have to see this stupid game again

23. hr wants a word with me!! lmao maybe this man HAS gone insane!!!

Misc facts: Frequent suggestions he has some degree of medical knowledge (knows cpr, mentions med school)

Mentions being a cyber security expert

Shown to spiral pretty fast

#here it is #this took an hour.

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furymint · 1 year

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2022 Creator Reflection

1. ppt meme

the thing im happiest with this year, tbh! i put a lot of work and care into each slide—and i think it shows. at the same time, this thing i made to help my writing be more accessible just became something that required a commitment to read from its length. i hope anyone that read it found it worthwhile! i love rereading it myself.

2. free

jillian’s prophecy attacked again. new florence + the machine song, new bri edit. my motivation to create things has been really low so i tried to limit myself to only devoting an hr or so to this simple edit. i think its cute

3. goal of the century

it doesnt look like i did a lot to this edit, but i added a lot of lighting to it. it was nice editing a picture of lselle and it reminded me a bit of how fun it was to have something i wanted to badly in the game as the seagull minion

4. the loneliest

this one took a few days to complete. i listened to maneskin a lot in the car this year to keep my spirits up, so its ironic that this is the only song i made something for. i used a lot of bad pics to make it so it was a greater struggle than it couldve been, but im still happy w the way it came out even if it didnt linger in my head afterwards

5. will it snow? [nsfw]

it took me a very long time to write this and, altho its not remotely close to my usual vibe, i think its well done. mostly i think it was a v good exercise for all that never made it into the final product. i wrote three different carriage scenes to find the heart of whole piece.

❌ impulsivity > fury > humiliation > resolve

(hoare’s outside, nol jumps out w no plan but to confront him, realizes how stupid he is when hoare a) insults him or b) escapes him, and he determines that he can do nothing until the recital in the evening)

❌ impulsivity > rationale > protectiveness > calm

(hoare’s outside, nol jumps out w no plan but to confront him, realizes how stupid he is before he moves away, so he gets back in the carriage, still mad with adrenaline, embarrassment, and the #masculine impulse of protection all manifested in possessiveness, then a gradual lowering of hackles)

✔️ ostracism > fear > rationale > calm

(looping back to the fake community at the beginning, a return to his fear of societal expectations & his lack of a community where he can be himself, the value of secrecy, the joy of secrecy)

i always loved the original carriage scene and im glad i got to actually finish it. i didnt get to do armistice day this year and i also didnt finish may other things, but at least i have this.

i have to confront more and more often that my drive to engage w ffxiv is almost depleted, and its a really really lonely feeling. i dont know what ill do in the new year about it. i know ill continue my literature work/research and keep drafting my outline for a complete transition of nol and eli into wwi austria-hungary. i want to write more!

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

#i also literally dont know why my file #became so crunchy #for the snow edit #i cut out the dude w the hat at work #and i guess the file saved badly #anyway highly rec scrivener #also i know ppt meme has a lot on marriage plot but i dont feel like it anymore :sob:#brianna babbles #bri edits

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nfornaomi · 11 months

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May 29 2023 - Elfstedentocht day!

Where and how to start describing what I'd been determinedly training for for...4ish months? 😊

In sum: 14,000+ cyclists, 235 kilometers in total, just under 11 hours on the bike, 14.5 hours total including breaks. 1 fall, lots of food, strong winds, and 100% fun!

We technically had a 5:56am start time but didn't get going until close to 7 due to traffic getting into Bolsward and the huge line to get the first stamp at the start point. It was all going well until we approached Harlingen (the second town) and I fell off my bike during a wide right turn due to a split second of inattention 😅. Bloodied my knee rather badly and it ended up throbbing and seeping blood for most of the day. After that slight mishap, most of the day went by amazingly well. A few fun things to remember:

First - the energy! There were crowds at every segment; from front yard neighbourhood parties blasting music to families sitting on lawn chairs throughout the route cheering us on.

Second - the food! Rob told me beforehand that this would be an eating competition as much as a cycling event. You have to CONSTANTLY eat to make up for the calories you're burning. I thought I would have no issues in this competition since I love to eat, but it got really hard partway through. There's only so many sandwiches you can eat in a day before it becomes a chore 😛. We packed Nutella and butter and jam sandwiches, and Lars' parents were absolutely amazing and met us at 3 different points with tons of food. Egg sandwiches, chicken sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, cold cut sandwiches, raisin buns, energy drinks, bananas, apples, etc. For the most part you also have to wolf down your snacks really fast since you're not taking a break at every city. So everyone is stuffing their faces while lining up / walking their bikes to get their stamps - and I'm also not great at eating fast, haha. I did love the fact that at a random point biking through farmland, kids handed out apples so you could cycle and eat at the same time, or there would be a turnoff to pick up a banana or energy gel, or when we got soup at the midpoint back at Bolsward. At the end of the day I think I'd eaten 7 sandwiches, 1 apple, 2 bananas, 4 dates, 1 granola bar, 1 soup, 1 snelle jelle, 1 piece of chocolate, half an energy gel, and looking back, I should've eaten more.

Third - the breaks! Aside from Lars' parents, we also met up with our 'support team' (the rest of the high school friends). They took the motorbikes and also brought some snacks and good chats at 3 different points so it broke up the day nicely.

Fourth - the struggle! Strong winds meant great cycling when it was tailwind (mostly the middle part of the total route). It also meant difficult cycling during headwind (the first 80km and last 30km). The first 80 was fine, the last 20 was SO difficult, especially the section towards Workum (second last city). At that point my legs had run out of gas, I was cold due to the really chilly wind, and it felt like I was going on slow motion and just couldn't keep up. I seriously wondered if I had any more to give or if I'd make it to the end going literally 10km/hr at a snail's pace. But related to #3, it turned out I just needed more fuel 😂. We took a 10min break at Workum where I scarfed down half a snelle jelle and a granola bar and when we got on the saddle again for the last 12km, I actually felt human and had a ton more energy than before.

Fifth - the end! It was super cool to make it to the finish and see so many smiling faces cheering and clapping. In addition to the final stamp and the medal, I completed the day with a Red Cross volunteer wrapping a hypothermia blanket around me since I was shiveringly cold 😂.

Painful knee and gold hypothermia robe aside, I'm so happy I made it to the end and it really felt like all the hard work paid off ⭐️🥹.

#Elfstedentocht #cycling #biking #the Netherlands

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builder051 · 2 years

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For the 200/300 word things, I have two ideas, both for tube verse. One, Steve having an NJ for some reason (maybe pre J-tube?) and throwing it up. It's happened to me a couple times and is not fun. Or two, something more slice-of-life-y where something goes wrong with Steve's health and James is sending messages through the portal, but is getting no response. I hope you feel better and things get easier! I love your writing <3

Thanks!

This tidbit will have to be scheduled very precisely on the timeline.

If you're familiar with what I've already set up for We fit like an Enfit (Tube 'verse), this is basically right after Steve has his initial appointment with a PCP--who kindly walks him down the hall to the check-in desk for the emergency room. Doctors tend to do that when people show up with life-threatening symptoms.

He hasn't gotten back together with James yet (they're like, post-breakup friends who are really still in love and both are super sore about it). Steve's still (supposed to be) working regular daytime hours in the office, and Darcy is the world's worst HR rep, along with the other positions she covers.

_____________________________________

Steve's glad the nurse has taken his left arm as real estate for the IV. That means he can still scroll through his phone with relative ease. He keeps his elbow tucked close so nobody can snag his dominant arm away. He already has a tube up his nose for quick-start nutrition. But apparently he needs sugar, salt, and sterile water pumped into

"Ow--" Steve grits his teeth and goes back to holding still as the needle makes contact under his wrist bone.

"I'm gonna call somebody," Steve says, trying not to slur around the NJ. He swallows on autopilot, as if the outsized, undercooked spaghetti noodle will go down like swallowed pasta should. But the tube stays resolute. And positively nauseating.

Steve scrolls to Darcy's contact and selects the call icon, then uses the tips of his fingers to hold the phone to his ear without jostling the warm blanket or the gloved fingers of the nurse now placing tegaderm and tape over the fresh line.

"What?" Darcy answers, sounding perturbed. "It's 5:02. You called my desk phone. I'm off work."

"You picked up. I just have to tell you--"

"Well, I knew it was you, or I wouldn't have picked up." Steve hears the telltale creak of Darcy leaning back in her swivel chair. "So give me the deets. How was your appointment? What did they say?"

"That's what..." Steve pauses and swallows again. The tube down his throat makes it impossible to feel anything in the esophagus. But there was definitely a twinge. Somewhere under his diaphragm. Somewhere that tended to reverse courses and turn out messes.

He breathes, then tries to explain. "Once I answered the, like, wellness questions, and she took my vitals, the doctor said I needed to be admitted."

"You have been really sick." Steve imagines Darcy putting her feet up on the desk. "But to be in the hospital? That's shitty."

"Is there, like, paperwork?" Steve barely gets the words out. Whatever was caught in his diaphragm is in his ribcage, and he can feel, in addition to the next pending heave, a painful scrape working its way up the side of his throat.

"I'd have to look that up," Darcy says. Then, "Are you ok?"

Steve can't attend to his phone anymore. He's already spitting bile, and when the end of the tube languishes its way out, covered in snot and spit, the sudden emptiness brings a rolling gag. Steve clutches his gut and squeezes his eyes shut. He coughs. Then retches again.

Steve digs in the side of the bed for the nurse call button.

"How may I help you?" someone asks from what sounds like the other end of a walkie-talkie.

"Um--" Steve starts.

"Were you talking on the phone to your girlfriend and you done dropped it?"

"What?" Steve stifles a belch and wipes his mouth on his freshly placed IV. "Ouch." Only then does he realize that his call to Darcy is still connected, even though his phone is on the floor now.

"Steve? Hey! It's not funny!" Her voice sounds shrill and tinny with the room's terrible acoustics. Steve feels terrible for giving her what was probably the shock of a lifetime.

"Honey?" the walkie-talkie voice prompts.

"Oh. Yeah." Steve will go along with it. "And I puked up my tube."

"We'll get you set up again. Don't you worry. And tell your girlfriend I said that!"

"Sure." Steve goes for a deep breath, but he can't stop himself from laughing a little.

"What?" he can hear Darcy demanding from the floor. "What's so funny?"

"I'll tell you later," Steve says. "It's a great story; I'm sure you'll love it."

#fanfiction #fanfic #starbucks sunday #we fit like an enfit #tube 'verse #hospitals #emeto #emetophilia #j tube #NJ tube #nasal tube #gastroparesis #sickfic #steve rogers #darcy lewis

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b22-4u · 1 year

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One of the most humbling days of my life: the day before thanksgiving 2021

From what I remember it was just another day, I was doing some work in a new area for solar and one person at the end of the road got upset and called the cops for door knocking.

Like a few other times this has happened and the cops showed up, I was polite understanding all sides. The cop was nice and we had short talk for a moment. She took my id and when she put it over the radio they said something to her and well she’d then ask me to put my hands behind my back.

One of my first thoughts was “why now”

But that’s for another story.

I had failed to appear at court for a case almost 5 years prior (also another story) and it hadn’t shown up until now.

The drive to the jail wasn’t long in reality but it felt like a long time, I knew my job was going to find out and that sucked, I knew my family would find out and that wasn’t so bad, I knew what people would think. I knew they wouldn’t really ever get to know each he full story and honestly sometimes neither do I. But I know it better, so whatever they thought or you the reader may think, just knows there’s more to it than was appears on the surface.

I had dreamt of being in jail for years now, there’s something about being stuck that really just tickles my anxiety to all time highs. I had seen this day coming a million miles away and boom it was finally here. Later perspective would say I’m glad this day finally came.

I get to the jail, one thing to the next and I’m in a holding cell with 6 plus people. People transferring/ murderers /domestic abusers/ thief’s* inside with me. And we’ll I’m tiny 🐣 but I wasn’t scared of the people inside I was more afraid of what was waiting for me on the outside. The people inside were just people. The type of people I’d grown up around. But on the outside I had fucked up again and I know those closest to me at the time expected this as well. Now let’s back up real quick.

I’ve mad a million mistakes, I’ve done wrong and although I’d like to think im a good person I accepted that I probably wasn’t and needed to change the way I was. Anyone who’s ever thought this definitely knows it doesn’t happen the first day,week,month, year. It’s a process. A long drawn out mental process. And at the point of this story I had began to make a come back. (More details in another story) but I was in love and although I had a lot on my plate to fix, I began fixing the most important part. My MIND. This period was very crucial to my growth. There was still a billion things to fix but I was finally in the right direction. I had finally found the person I thought I was meant to be with, the problem was I knew I wasn’t ready. I bring this up because this person I looked up too, you know that feeling when you’d fuck up as a teen and you knew your parents would still love you but they would be soooo disappointed, well I didn’t have that for my parents but with her I did. This idea that someone would look at the mess I made and still come sit beside me helped me grow and understand that this life isn’t about me. It’s about those around you who will hold you up when your down. Who won’t let you just petty yourself, but hold you up and accountable. I’ll touch more on this another time getting back to the story.

If you didn’t know jail was definitely not meant for someone with adhd. In case you didn’t know. I paced that 10-12 cell with 4 rows (one broke) for 8 hrs and I get ptsd just writing this lol I’m a weenie but for real it wasn’t fun. I didn’t care that I was in jail, I cared that I made it this far just to collide back down and I let down the only person I looked up to at this point in my life The day before thanksgiving. I’ve been a million things, being the person who let someone down who believed in them was by far my least favorite thing. I felt humbled

-B 4/10/23

#beauty #books & libraries #music #positivity #streaming #love #sad boi aesthetic #hope #hopeless #sad boi poetry #writers and poets #writersociety

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voidsumbrella · 2 years

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howdy. here's how my september has gone:

housesat for my parents (painless)

found out cousin i havent seen since i was 6 + his wife and newborn are probably moving from south korea to an <5 hr drive from me

my mother in law, who is a medical fall hazard due to her progressively degrading spine problems, who lives in a 3 story death trap house with the kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom on separate levels, who lives alone with no family or close friends within a 3 hour drive, who lives across the country from my wife and i, has tripped over a clotheshanger in her bedroom and broken her ankle.

this means my wife has to move their visit to see her, a fun social one previously planned for october, to as soon as physically possible so they can set up an emergency bedroom and mini kitchen on the ground floor (which is actually the basement)

i go with because im the only one who can drive, and also am Generally Handy and good at fixing shit, and also for emotional support and because i love my wife and because this is what you do when family members need help.

even if they're making the whole process a fucking nightmare because they're miserable in the hospital with nothing to do and have chosen to take this out on everyone around them.

which is mostly what the trip composed of.

i did find+archive a bunch of family history documents nd went through them w/ my wife's aunt (aunt in law? is that anything?) and that was super cool

wife has to extend the trip for 2 more weeks, i fly back solo and have what is The Worst Airplane Existence I Have Ever Experienced, Ever

find out my adhd meds can't be refilled, go unmedicated+jetlagged+dying of allergy-induced sinus ailments+dying of wifeless-induced ailments for 2 days

i finally get a hold of my psych, pick up my meds, return to the world of the living

discover i have developed an allergic reaction to stale/older food that causes my gums/general inside of mouth to swell and act as though i have badly burned all of it including the multi-day healing period.

opt to troubleshoot that one later because i have:

realized i have ONE (1) DAY before i leave for a multi-day concert trip that i have been anticipating for 2.5 years now, that involves 5 other people and i am largely responsible for coordinating, and while all the most important shit (hotel, ticket distribution) is taken care of, i am not even a little baby bit ready to leave the house

scramble to do that; i leave 25 minutes after the other car, have an extra 45 minutes tacked on to my drive so i can pick up my friend, accidentally drive fast enough that there's only a 10 minute difference in arrival times.

go to the concert

see My Chemical Romance

in their hometown

with a setlist that includes 3 of the 4 songs on my "i would kill to hear this live but probably never will" list

opened by Midtown, which i also assumed i would never see ever in my life

proceed to die in a ditch

drive back the next day, still hollering in unison w/ my friends because none of us are or likely will ever be over it

anyway i got home at 7pm last night, passed out at 830 after taking care of the pets and moving a bunch of plants inside bc it was too cold for them overnight, woke up a couple hours later at 10pm, took 2 benadryl and woke up at 11am.

how is everyone else doing, because i am So Fucking Tired

#real life mango

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lorddarkkitty · 1 year

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I didn’t play any Skyrim today and it too late to start playing cause who knows hold long a quest can take me to do cause I’m slow and sometimes explore on my way to places. I did get packages yesterday.

I already have The Witch and the Beast volume 5 and 6. I haven’t read those yet cause my focus was playing Skyrim for hours on end. I ended up buying Volumes 7 and 8. I also got the Witch hat Atelier volume 2 and 3.

I took time yesterday to catch up on the one piece manga and show and today I really just watched Markipler. Tho it was only one video I watch which was Crimsom snow. I like and hr and 40 minutes long but it took most of the day to watch it cause I kept pausing it to do other stuff or read something on my phone or daydream lol

I haven’t drawn in a while so I want to start doing that again cause Killer’s birthday is coming up and I want to draw something for it. But I often feel a lack of motivation and creativity that brings about a sense of sorrow (if that the right word or even makes sense) that I kinda don’t pick up a pencil or iPad. I kinda need to find the fun in it again and probably work on my perfectionism.

Not to mention that for some reason I can’t wake up in the morning like I do on days for work where I have to wake up at like 720am to get ready. On my days off I just sleep until 11 or 12 sometimes even 1 pm no matter the alarms I set. It’s not that I don’t hear them, I do, I just turn them off and go back to bed. I also have trouble going to sleep on my days off that sometimes even tho I’m in bed and laying down I’m on my phone til like 3 am and I guess that why waking up at 7 am makes it hard. Even tho I want to cause waking up that early in the morning gives me more time to do things like play Skyrim for even longer so I don’t have to go into like 1 or 2 am playing a game and I get the chance to maybe read or draw or listen to lectures. Problem is I can also get distracted easily too and end up doing nothing at all.

#amari meows #skyrim #gaming #video games #manga #the witch and the beast #witch hat atelier #one piece #markplier #killer one piece #art problems #sleep problems #it’s me hi i’m the problem it’s me #ART #I talk about a lot of different things in my posts

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streaming-yn · 3 years

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Can I request forgetful y/n just interacting with people (like eret, bbh, Tommy for example)

I just want to know how the others would be like with y/n

of course anon! :) I'm hyperfixated on charlie (slimecicle) and jack (jack manifold) so I had to add them !! also I already did tommy (check out chaoscrew part!! (part 5!)

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7

includes: Jack manifold, Slimecicle, bbh, Eret, technoblade

note: these are pretty short! (to fit more people)

Jack Manifold

as much as he's on the internet, I 100% believe he wouldn't know about your memory issues until y'all interact

while playing Minecraft together, you forgot where your house was, not abnormal for someone, so he didn't question it

but you forgot more stuff as the stream went on and he got a bit worried bc that's not normal :( but bc he didn't know what was going on, he didn't know if it was okay to say on stream, so he dmed you on discord and told you to check

"are you alright? you've been forgetting quite a bit" the message made you smile, it's nice that he cared enough to ask "I'm okay, thank you for asking! I just have a medical issue with my brain that makes me forget stuff a lot (ps it's okay to say on stream dw!) :)"

he was like half low key embarrassed and half relived that you were okay 👍 but as you continued playing he didn't bring it up or question it at all, just helped you when you forgot something

he thinks you're a really cool person! definitely can't wait to play with you again ^^ (he also thinks your character in the dsmp lore is cool and is a bit sad they haven't interacted yet </3 (you are too, y'all talk about it on stream sometimes and the chats like WHEN WHEN?? GIV JACK S/N LORE INTERACTION NOW!!!))

Charlie Slimecicle

I don't think he'd acknowledge it much if at all! not in like a mean way, more in a "I don't see the need to acknowledge it because you're still you so like ?" type of way

basically doesn't see you different from anyone else!

THOUGHH WHEN YALL STREAMED TOGETHER YOUR FANS CRIED BC YALL LIKE ACTED LIKE OLDER BROTHER AND YOUNGER SIBLING

when you forgot something he'd just casually tell you what you forgot

"where was the mine? I forgot . .;;" "when you leave the house, you'll see a nearby forest, the entrance is in the side closest to the mountain!" "okay! forest, close to mountain, got it, thank you!!" /minecraft

people want your dsmp characters to interact SO bad dude !!!

congrats! there's a new subtwt, a very small one, but they're there!! it's named bc they think y'all act like siblings! it's slimesiblingtwt / slimesibtwt, if may sound a little odd to some but if anyone relates it to something against either of y'all's boundaries then everyone is like hey wtf that's weird,, don't, don't b weird (and reported bc ew ykyk)

ALSO FUN FACT WHILE THEY WERE BEING IMPATIENT FOR YOU TWO TO INTERACT IN DSMP LORE THERE WAS LIKE??? A DRAWING TREND???? WHERE PEOPLE WOULD DRAW YOUR CHARACTERS IN MATCHING SHIRTS

the two most common shirts were simple white shirts that said dap me up, and his "so yeah. I'm a gamer." shirt 👍

there were also shirts like the classic "I'm with stupid" shirts, pls they thought is was so funny fkfkfj

he also like, genuinely loves how you describe things when you forget the word because with the way your mind works you wont describe it in a way that sound serious

has started calling a few things by the "nicknames" you've given them unironically bc he was calling them that ironically for a while and it became a habit

examples of things you've said: spaghetti cake (lasagna), dead but not dude (zombie), etc

and if you forgot the name of a character in like a video game (or didn't know in general) he likes the nicknames you come up with for those as well, because they're named after their defining feature

for the entire game of little nightmares II you couldn't for the life of you remember your partner's name (six) and kept calling them (her?) "little raincoat buddy" pls,, u sounded so genuinely happy too, like you saw them and interacted for all of 3 seconds and got emotionally attached (pls someone request forgetful! y/n playing little nightmares II if you wanna see it I think it'd be fun and I love the game sm) (also feel free to request for resident evil 8 🤲)

BadBoyHalo

honestly 100% I think he'd feel a little bad a first bc :( his memories mean a lot to him, he couldn't imagine not having most of them :((

of course, doesn't bring this up on stream, this isn't something you talk about on stream!

y'all text for a bit until he understands that he doesn't need to feel bad for you because of it, of course it's annoying and makes you upset that you don't have as many memories as everyone else, but you had him think of it as a jar

your jar (capacity for memories) is smaller than everyone else's, so while most things do leak out, that's okay because if you had all the small things in your jar, there wouldn't be space for the bigger things. so while it's upsetting that your jar is smaller that everyone else's, it's okay because that's just how it was made and you'd rather remember the big things than a bunch of small things

he said he understands but he still feels kinda bad 😭

if you're capable of having hyperfixations (nd!) then he would 100% listen to you talk about it in you wanted to talk to him! :)

and if it's a game or show or smthn he doesn't know, he might do a bit of research about it so the convo wouldn't feel one-sided if you feel awkward if you're the only one talking (also never cuts you off!)

Eret

I can't explain it, like,, at all but I feel like they would be the type of person to like not bring a whole lot of attention to it, but would make sure you remember what he's talking about since he would assume that speaking up about forgetting something in the middle of someone else talking would be quite difficult

especially when talking about dsmp lore because so much goes on that it's confusing and hard to keep up with

"and after my character betrayed them- do you know what I'm talking about? it was a long time ago" "yep yep! very vague and fuzzy but I'm pretty sure I get the main idea! :)" "okay! :) then after my character betrayed them that's where one of the most famous quotes of the server came from! «it was never meant to be»? that's where it started, though Wilbur's character blowing up l'manberg definitely made it more popular"

y'all don't interact very often, but ifs fun when you do! took you on a tour of her castle before 100%!!! :) chat had a blast with that

Technoblade

also didn't know at first but didn't think of DMing you to ask

you forgot a lot of stuff and he was like ???? "s/n are you okay?"

"oh! yeah yeah, I'm good, I just forget a lot!"

wouldn't say more after that I feel like, would try to avoid making references to the past that you might've forgotten but not so much so that it's obvious he's avoiding it yk?

if y'all become close enough for him to make memory jokes he'd probably make a lot of little lighthearted ones, like maybe 2-3 big memory jokes (like bits that take up a few minutes) per stream if it's average time (1-2 hrs), but not more than that (also wouldn't continue the bit if you don't)

most are little light-hearted side comments that are there just to poke fun at you and not actually meant to be rude and focus on your memory issue

taglist; @ophelia-enthusiast @cvsmixplant @l0ver0fj0y @decay-as-a-life-form

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