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thewildsophia · 8 months

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One Piece//Straw Hats x Winged!Reader

A/N: I haven't seen anything with the entire straw hat crew and a winged!reader so I made one myself. Can be read either as platonic or romantic.

CW: Strong language.

Word Count: 8216

"Read More Link” placed due to length.

Straw Hats w/Winged!Crewmate

Luffy

You met Luffy when you were flying before you were forcefully pulled down to the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Luffy had thought you were some large bird and was disappointed when he realized you weren’t edible.

You were dazed and disoriented when you looked up at Luffy and the other crewmembers who had flocked around the deck to gawk at you. After getting a good look at you, Luffy picked you up and without missing a beat asked you to join his crew. The rest of the crew all screamed at him which freaked you out and you tried to fly off.

“Hey! Where you going?” You heard someone shout before being grabbed by your ankle and pulled back down to the deck. Your head was throbbing from that second pull and was being made worse by Nami screaming at Luffy to be nice to you.

Again, Luffy asked you to join his crew before Nami hit him on the head. Nami apologized to you and simply offered for you to stay on the ship while you orientate yourself.

During your “recovery” time though the crew manages to charm you enough to stay for a little while longer. After fighting by their side during one of their adventures on some random-ass island, you decide to officially join them.

The first few days you were on the ship, Luffy would come up behind you and just…grab them. After a few scoldings conversations about it, Luffy learned not just to grab them, but to at least make his presence known to you before doing so.

Sometimes if you’re on one side of the Sunny’s deck and he’s on the other, he’ll stretch his arm (or arms) out and tap your shoulder before stroking your wings.

He really just can’t help himself tbh. They’re just so soft!

Once you become more comfortable with it, Luffy likes to just play with your wings. Stuff like opening and closing them or carding through the individual feathers with his fingers while you’re busy doing something else.

Luffy loves to just watch you move around sometimes since your wings have a life of their own. Like when you bend over to pick something up your wings stretch out just a little bit to help keep you balance.

You eventually became comfortable enough to let Luffy pet your wings when the crew is enjoying some downtime. Ya’ll will be sitting somewhere near the Sunny’s railing and Luffy will be stroking your feathers with a surprising amount of delicacy.

You quickly become one of Luffy’s favorite playmates without even trying. Whenever you're playing a game of tag your movements make you someone very hard to tag.

Luffy likes to ask a lot of questions about your wings and what you are. His curiosity knows no bounds and that’s reflected in his well-intended but sometimes rude queries.

You are also one of the first people Luffy goes to when he wants to spar which is few and far in between. He finds that you are a very capable fighter and have a very unique style. When you move your body, your movements are smooth as silk and you are able to contort it in many different ways, similar to his in a way. He finds fighting against you to be a very unique challenge.

Whenever your wings are molting, you don’t let Luffy help you preen them, but you do give the nicer feathers from your wings to him, and my God does he love them. He tucked one of them in the ribbon of his straw hat and showed it off proudly to the rest of the crew and no you’re not crying-

BEGS you to take him flying with you. You say no every time for fear of dropping him in the ocean. You wouldn’t mind doing it if he just didn’t squIRM SO MUCH.

Luffy KNOWS that you can carry him in the air since you’ve grabbed him before in the middle of fights and placed him somewhere else so he pesters you every day about it.

Knowing that you can carry him, he would purposely get into tight situations in battle so you would swoop down and fly him to safety.

Talking about combat as well, Luffy is mildly surprised at how fast you can move about the field, slipping and zooming between targets in an instant. He also took note of your strength and how much of a punch you pack despite your dainty stature.

He once watched you kick a guy square in the face and he went flyyyyyying (no pun intended). The moment he saw that guy’s body sore through the air he thought to himself, “Yup, I picked out another great crewmember!”

Overall, he’s thrilled to have someone so unique on his crew and is obsessed with the way that you are just…you. Luffy has good taste in picking out his crew and you are no exception.

Zoro

Zoro had found you by complete accident. He had gotten lost on one of the many islands the straw hats visited in the Grand Line and accidentally ran into you.

At first, he thought you were someone who had fallen from Skypeia, but after noting just how large your wings are compared to those on Skypeia he thinks to ask, to which you explain you’re not from there.

He’s quick to ask for directions and you gladly help him all the while you two are chatting as you lead him back to his ship. The moment Luffy spots you with Zoro you immediately become an official crew member you don’t have a choice.

Zoro never really asks where you’re from or what you are. He’s more interested in who you are and wants to know you personally. Considering he’s a part of a crew that has several devil fruit users, he starts to care less about others' abilities and looks and focuses more on their character.

Zoro is pretty indifferent about the whole wings thing tbh. He thinks they look nice and all, but it doesn’t really change his opinion of you either way.

But don’t take it the wrong way like he’s disinterested; He’s that way with everyone.

He does enjoy laying against/on them when you two take naps together on the ship. They’re so soft and smell -- while not necessarily good -- nice; they smell like you, and he finds comfort in that.

Zoro only ever asked you once to touch your wings. It was late at night and you had decided to join him in looking out since you couldn’t sleep. You’re sure he had been drinking. He was very quiet when he asked you, almost as if he didn’t want you to hear him.

The rough callouses on his hands ticked as they carded through your feathers and you stifled a small giggle at the sensation. He made only one comment about how soft they were. Slowly you found yourself drifting to sleep as his fingers methodically brushed your wings.

The two of you ended up falling asleep together. Zoro’s head rested against your shoulder as you wrapped him in the warmth of your wing. When you woke up in the morning, Zoro was gone :(

Zoro doesn’t take care of his personal hygiene that well (this guy showers like, what, once every week? Stinky…) so he doesn’t really help you preen your wings when you’re molting. Or anytime really tbh.

And if you’re being honest, he wouldn’t really be that good at it either. He would pull on the wrong ones and be rough when pushing feathers out of the way to pluck others. He wouldn’t mean to hurt you, he’s just not good at delicate work like that.

He doesn’t really collect your feathers like some of the others, but he does keep one of the really long-flight feathers that you gave him. He has it stashed in the Crow’s Nest (he thought it funny to keep your feather in the “Crows Nest” since a crow is a bird and birds have feathers…Just don’t bring it up to him bc he WILL get embarrassed).

Never asks you to take him flying with you, which you’re grateful for. He’s so dense with muscle that you don’t think you could actually fly with him. Plus, Luffy’s begging is enough lmao.

In battle, he expected you to be fast and light, but wasn’t expecting you to be such a hard hitter, you know? He thought you’d have a lighter punch given the whole “angelic” thing you have going on but no, his eyes widened when he watched you absolutely deck this buff-ass dude into the dirt.

Like this man’s whole head was stuck in the dirt and he struggled to pull it out. Zoro was honestly shocked you hadn’t busted his skull open from the impact of such a hit.

If you ever decide to take up swordsmanship, Zoro is glad -- and even a little excited -- to teach you. Just know that he doesn’t take it lightly and, while firm, is a reasonable instructor. He would also encourage you to try out different techniques that are unique to you and that may match your fighting style and mobility better.

Maybe using your flight would help with sweeping attacks? Zoro doesn’t know, he leaves that up to you to figure out.

There was one time when he was knocked tf out in a long fight and you were the first thing he woke up to -- face pinched in worry and wings disheveled and dirty -- and he honestly thought he had died and gone to heaven, but you will NEVER hear him tell you about that.

Overall, Zoro is not that impressed by the fact you have wings but is instead impressed at how you use them to your and the crew’s benefit. He thinks of you as a very strong and reliable crew member and someone who is genuinely very kind to others.

Nami

The Straw Hats met you pretty early on in their journey at the Baratie. When Nami first saw you, a horrible thought ran through her head, that being she could possibly sell you as some kind of “exotic” item/person to pay off the debt to Arlong. However, she quickly pushed that thought out of her head and is somewhat disturbed at the fact that she ever had that thought.

After Nami had stolen the Going Merry and returned to Cocoyasi Village, she was shocked to see you with the crew when they came to pick her up. She witnessed firsthand that day just how freakishly strong you are, having been able to beat the shit out of a Fishman by yourself.

You were the first person to greet her after she got her tattoo reworked. You expressed how relieved you were that she was okay, that you understood why she did what she did, and that you wouldn’t (couldn’t) hold it against her. It was during that conversation that she decided she belonged with the Straw Hats.

You two quickly become friends once ya’ll officially join the crew.

Whenever the crew docks on a new island, Nami LOVES to go shopping for items for you that would complement your wings. Clothes, jewelry, whatever, she loves to doll you up with or without your approval lol.

Along with clothes and jewelry, Nami also looks for good soaps and other hygiene products that are gentle on your feathers and skin, but keep them looking and smelling nice.

Nami often asks you for fashion advice. You don’t change your outfits nearly as often as she does, but you slay every single one you wear and she aspires to look as good as you.

Tbh, you don’t know what to say to her since she too also slays and you just throw things together without any particular process.

Nami was the first person on the crew to buy you a pair of padded gloves to protect your hands while fighting as she noticed the copious amount of bruises and cuts to your knuckles.

Depending on how much you already know and understand, Nami shows you how to budget money if you’re ever unsure how to do so.

Something Nami does for you is offer to hold your wings. Considering how large of a bust she had, she understands the most out of the whole crew how sore your back and shoulders become when carrying something heavy like that all day. Nami has you lean into her chest and relax your wings while she holds them at the base where they connect to your back. You are always grateful whenever she does this because holy shit your back feels so light.

She’ll also help you stretch them out whenever you need to. For example, she’ll grab the tip of your wings and pull them out, stretching them to their full span. Keeping them folded all day can lead to some crazy cramps.

Nami is always willing to help you preen your wings in the spots you can’t quite reach. Every time she helps you, she tells you how soft they are the whole time.

Nami collects the long, straight feathers that fall off and uses them to write with. It started when you gifted one of your long feathers to her and she kept it in the cup on her desk with all her other writing utensils. One day the quill she was using broke and, not wanting to buy another one, she improvised by using the one you gave her. She was shocked at how well it held up and how crisp the lines were and began asking you for more.

Much like other members of the crew, Nami WILL fall asleep cuddled into your wings if given the chance. But just like the other members of the crew, you never mind when she does :)

Nami never really asks for you to carry her while flying, mainly because she has a slight fear of heights, but you have flown with her on occasion. Whether it be recreationally or to move her out of harm's way, you try to stay as low as safely possible whenever you carry Nami.

Overall, Nami is not only mystified by your beauty and uniqueness but is also glad to have another strong fighter among the crew. She feels safe whenever you're near.

Usopp

So Usopp shot you out of the sky while the crew was sailing in the Grandline. He didn’t realize you were a person, he thought you were a large bird that Sanji could cook up for dinner! Imagine his surprise when you fell onto the deck and BOOM, a whole fucking person is lying there and, oh God are you dead?

Chopper was quick to tend to your wounds. Since Usopp had used a flame star on you, some of your feathers were singed on your left wing, which made it impossible for you to fly even if you wanted to until they grew back. Usopp stayed in the office while Chopper tended to you and waited for you to wake up. The moment you woke up in Chopper’s office you panicked; You screamed and threw anything you could get a hold of at the reindeer and Usopp before bolting for the door. You got out, but when you tried to take flight, you found that you were unable to. After falling to the deck a couple of times in a futile attempt to leave, you eventually accepted that you weren’t going anywhere.

Luffy offered you a spot as a part of the crew that day, but you were unsure. You eventually compromised on letting you stay on the ship until you dock on the next island, to which you could either leave or stay with the crew. Later on, you decided you would stay with them.

When given the chance, Usopp apologized PROFUSELY for shooting you. Like, he was on the ground crying, begging for forgiveness. Before anyone realized it, you had balled your hand up and punched Usopp in the stomach, sending him flying against the guardrail on the other side of their ship. Dazed, Usopp looked up at you as you approached him. Leaning down to face him, you said to him, “I forgive you,” and from then on out it was mostly smooth sailing between the two of you.

Usopp LOVES to draw up ideas on new items and weapons for you to use, either things that attach to your wings or that can be used by you while in flight.

Speaking of drawing, Usopp also loves to draw, just…you. You’re such a unique subject, possessing a silhouette unmatched by any other (with maybe the exception of the Skypia citizens, but even then their wings were not as large as yours). Usopp just thinks you’re pretty and he likes to draw pretty things :)

Usopp also taught you how to shoot with a slingshot. He figured that while you’re in the air you’d have a pretty clear shot of the battlefield, so you could offer aerial support for the Straw Hats.

He also looked into different fabrics and materials he could make new clothes for you out of; Something that was light and wouldn’t affect your flying, but something that was flame and puncture-resistant. With the help of Franky and Nami, he was able to sew something that provided you with a little more protection in combat than what you typically wear.

When you first asked Usopp to help preen your wings in the springtime, he refused immediately. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to help you, he just didn’t think he could do a good job at it. You assured him and told him you’d instruct him while he did it.

It took a while for him to figure out which feathers were ready to come out and which ones were still healthy and alive (He pulled out quite a few good flight feathers…ouch), but by the end of it, all your wings were healthy and shiny.

You told Usopp he could do whatever he wanted with the feathers and at first, he just kept them in a box in his workshop, not sure what to do with them but unable to just throw them out because, hello, they’re your feathers.

He tries to come up with inventions that could utilize them, but he has yet to design and sketch one up.

Usopp found out the hard way just how hard your punches hit. He also got to bear witness to it when the crew was fighting off another random pirate crew that thought they could cash in their bounty. Usopp was s h o o k when he watched you grab this pretty beefy pirate and just drag him to the fucking floor before beating the absolute shit out of him with your bare hands. Rest assured, he never doubted your capability in a fight after that.

Overall, Usopp is impressed, and somewhat scared, of your strength and just the general uniqueness that is you. He has just never met anyone like you before (until Skypia that is, but they’re not even as cool as you) and is always in awe of you.

Sanji

Oh, where to begin with this guy lmao…

You met Sanji allllll the way back at the Baratie. You had barely managed to escape the capture of a pirate crew that wanted to sell you and found yourself flying aimlessly over the sea, with no idea where you were or where you were going and starving. You stumbled across the Baratie by complete accident and once you realized that it was a restaurant, you practically ran through the doors.

You pleaded with the staff to give you anything to eat -- offering to clean dishes, dispose of trash, or be a bodyguard for the restaurant (that last one got a few laughs out of some of the staff) -- but without any money, you were quickly kicked out.

Before long, a pair of black dress shoes stood in front of where you lay on the ground and a plate of fried rice was placed in front of you. You gasped as you sat up and looked at the person who gave you the food. “No one deserves to starve. Especially someone as lovely as yourself,” He said to you.

From that day on, Sanji kept a close eye on you. Sanji let you stay and work with him -- with the approval of Zeff ofc -- so when he left to join the Straw Hat crew, you joined alongside him; Thankfully, Luffy didn’t have a problem with it.

Sanji makes special meals for you considering that you have a different diet from the other Straw Hats. If you ever tell him he doesn’t have to do that for you, he insists on making your meals with certain ingredients since he does the same for Chopper (considering he, as a reindeer, has a vegan diet and all).

You’re also the main person Sanji asks for help in the kitchen the very few times he ever asks for help. He has a lot of trust in your kitchen skill considering you worked with him for a short time.

Regardless of your gender or sex, Sanji is ALWAYS fawning over you. Are you hot? Here’s a cold, refreshing drink for you. Are you hungry for a snack? Sanji has already cut up a nice gala apple for you! Seriously, this man is just obsessed with you (in a good way, that is).

Like Nami, Sanji loves to go out and buy outfits for you. Dresses and skirts or suits and ties, whatever you want, Sanji will buy it for you.

Sanji is very curious about your life before he met you and how exactly you came to be the way you are. He assumed you got your wings from a devil fruit and was shocked when you told him you were born with them. That was the moment he became more invested in your origin and what exactly you are.

He never pressures you to tell him anything if you’re uncomfortable with it, but if you are, he’ll fix you both a cup of tea and sit with you in the kitchen, listening intently to whatever you have to say.

Sanji is also the most likely one to spend time with you at odd hours of the night. He doesn’t have the soundest sleep schedule and is a fairly light sleeper -- at least the lightest out of all the men -- so there’s a good chance he’ll be awake whenever you can’t sleep. Again, he’ll fix you something light to eat or drink that will hopefully help you sleep.

Sanji never expected you to ask him to help you care for your wings, but bro did not hesitate to say yes. He has you sit in the kitchen’s dining area while he helps preen your wings, handing you the feathers as he goes. When you offered him to keep them he didn’t waste a second more and stuffed them (gently) into his coat pockets with the longer ones poking out of his pocket lol.

He doesn’t keep them in the kitchen (for sanitary reasons), but he does keep them in a small keepsake box where he puts all his valuables in his sleeping area. Sometimes when he’s changing up his outfit, he’ll place one of your short feathers into the suit pocket alongside a handkerchief. It’s so adorable and you smiled so hard when you first saw it.

Sanji would never ask you to take him flying, but if you offered he first declined before quickly agreeing if you insist. He won’t admit it, but the moment he met you he wished you’d sweep him off his feet and bring him into the air with you.

Sanji didn’t think you could fight that well. To him, you looked like a delicate teenager/young adult needing protection. He did everything he could to protect you from the pirates that attacked the Baratie, but it wasn’t until he was pinned down and forced to watch you get jumped by a group of the other pirates that he actually saw just how strong you were.

Granted, it took you a hot second and you got hit by them a few times, but you still managed to beat the absolute shit out of them (and these were decently built people as well).

Sanji never doubted your ability to defend yourself from then on, but he still does try to protect you whenever he can. It’s just ingrained in him to protect other people.

Overall, Sanij was immediately won over by your beauty, but as he got to know you and your personality became more understood by him, a deep respect for your character grew within him. While lovely, Sanji often looks past your wings and sees you for who you truly are.

Chopper

Chopper met you along with all the other Straw Hats on Drum Island. You assisted Luffy in bringing Nami to the only doctor on the island, acting as another bodyguard for him along with Sanji. Eventually, Sanji was knocked out and you carried him while Luffy had Nami.

It took a while for you two to reach the top of the Rockies where the doctor was supposed to be and it was draining on the both of you. You saw a pair of feet approach you and passed out to the sound of Luffy shouting, “They’re my Nakama!”

Doctorine allowed Chopper to treat you since, out of the four, your injuries were the least severe. At first, the two assumed you were a regular human and laid you on your back while they treated the others. It wasn’t until after Luffy was bandaged up that the two got to you. Removing your coat, Chopper was taken aback at the sight of feathers all inside your coat pressed up against your body. He quickly called Doctorine over and quickly decided to treat you instead and pushed Sanji over to Chopper for care.

Chopper made quick work of Sanji in order to watch Doctorine treat you. He watched intently as she was careful of your wings and placed you to rest on your side instead of your back. You were the last to wake up of the four and Chopper couldn’t hold back his questions about you. Doctorine swiftly dismissed him to allow you to recover as you had developed a small cold on top of your other injuries.

After recovering some and being faced with Drum Island’s “King” Wapol, Chopper was incredibly impressed by how well you fight along with the other Straw Hats. Not only were you wearing somewhat restricting clothing (those coats kept you warm but were hard to move in at times), but you were also still injured and yet you still managed to pack these guys up lmao. He was also very grateful when you covered him from an incoming attack, but also felt guilty that you had to sustain another injury.

After Chopper joined the crew, you were the first one he truly befriended. While he had no problem with the others in the crew, he felt most comfortable with you. He thinks it’s because of your gentle appearance and kind voice, but you think it’s because of your wings and somewhere in this subconscious he connects them to an animal and therefore connects you to an animal, which brings him comfort.

Chopper has many, and I mean many, questions about your anatomy and physiology. You explain everything you know about your body to him, including that you have hollow bones, there are air sacs in your lower abdomen, there are some foods that you just can’t eat, and that your hearing is very sensitive (sorry to my HoH and deaf baddies ilyyy).

Chopper loves to sleep with you. Whether it’s taking naps together or actually falling asleep at night, he feels very safe within your arms and wrapped in your wings.

As a doctor, Chopper knows how one’s back hurts when carrying a large weight on their shoulders for an extended period of time, so he’s quick to ask about any back pain you have. If you are ever having any discomfort, Chopper will massage your shoulders and back near where your wings connect to your skin to ease the soreness. He’ll also look into any medicine that helps with back pain like yours.

Chopper gets really nervous whenever you sustain any injury to your wings. While he has been taught how to treat many different injuries and illnesses on a person, your wings are a whole new thing to him and often time he needs your guidance to treat you. He’s very nervous about hurting you more than you already are :(

Chopper was very excited the first time you asked him to preen your wings. He’d seen some of the birds on Drum Island do the same thing sometimes during the warmer months, but he never quite understood what they were doing at the time. He’s very gentle and always asks before fully pulling off a feather all the way like he does a little tug and asks if it’s ready to go.

If you ever break one of your blood feathers, Chopper is quick to treat you with the least amount of pain possible.

Chopper uses some of your shorter, stiff feathers as pens to write with similar to Nami. He keeps them in a cup with all his other pens and pencils. The rest of your feathers he throws out since he doesn’t have a use for them and wants to keep his office clean and clear.

Chopper frequently asks you to take him flying and isn’t above begging you to do so.

He’s the only Straw Hat that you take flying somewhat regularly. His small stature and light weight make it possible for you to fly for long periods of time without straining yourself too much. The first few times you carried him with you, you flew close to the deck/ground so as not to frighten him. Once he felt confident you wouldn’t drop him, he began to beg you to fly higher, which you happily complied with.

Whenever you guys are attacked, you are the first person Chopper runs to for cover (assuming you’re close enough). He’s seen just how strong you are and feels safe with you.

Overall, Chopper first views you as a very unique patient; Someone who he can learn something new from. He then started to see just how genuinely kind you are and began to look up to you as an inspiration for what he wants to be.

Robin

You were already a part of the Straw Hat crew when you met Robin while she was still working for Crocodile. Similar to Chopper, the large, baggy clothing you were wearing gave you the appearance of being a normal human. It’s not until she goes to use her devil fruit and restrain you that she feels something unusual on you; Something soft.

It’s not until you all depart from Alabasta and she makes her presence known on the ship that she actually sees them. With your protective clothes gone, your large, soft wings are on full display and Robin’s interest is immediately piqued.

Using her devil fruit, she grows an arm out of your back and you freak out at the feeling of her touching your wing from so far away. She’s normally much more polite about such things, but she just couldn’t contain herself at that moment. She promptly apologized to you before joining the crew, much to everyone’s surprise.

Robin is very curious about you after you inform her your wings aren’t the product of some devil fruit. She thinks back on any race -- either modern or ancient -- that had wings like yours, but she could think of none. Not even the people from Skypia had wings as majestic as yours, so she quickly ruled that out.

Robin will often ask you to join her while she sits out on the deck reading. It doesn’t matter what you were doing before, if it’s something that can be done outside then she’ll beckon you over.

She asks about your origins during one of these times in a non-probing way and very politely. If you tell her you don’t know much about your origin or that you haven’t eaten a devil fruit, she’ll start looking into it while doing her other research.

The title/nickname she calls you by is “The Avian” or just “Avian.”

Whenever the crew docks at an island and goes shopping, Robin likes to buy little bird-related nicknacks -- stuff like ceramic parakeets and glass canaries. She gifts them to you saying that they reminded her of you.

You have a shelf in your room that, along with your books, holds all the little birds (Robin smiled so hard when she saw it for the first time and, if I dare say, even blushed a little 0_0). They’re all secured with a little bit of adhesive on the bottom to prevent them from flying when the ship is forced to make crazy maneuvers.

In the least creepy way possible, Robin likes to watch you sleep. She doesn’t actively try to watch you sleep but if you end up falling asleep next to her while lounging on the deck together, she’ll close the book she’s reading and just…watch you. Not long, just a few minutes max.

She’s very grateful to be alive and that gratitude spreads to her friends and crewmates. She’s happy that you are alive and seeing you breathe and your heart pump brings her comfort knowing that you are alive.

Robin acts very much like a mother towards you, especially if you’re one of the younger members of the crew. She keeps an eye on you as you soar through the sky and perform cool tricks that impress the others and is always ready to catch you if something goes wrong.

Robin based her one devil fruit move where she grows “wings” of a sort after you.

Robin loves very much to help groom and preen your wings. She’s like Luffy in wanting to touch your wings frequently, but she’s much more discrete about it than he is.

She’s very gentle when pulling your feathers and removing dead ones. She always asks for confirmation before actually pulling one off. Her fingers are gentle as they card through your feathers and she scratched them in all the right ways.

She’ll also make sure to reorganize the feathers so that they lay correctly and comfortably when she’s done helping you groom them.

Robin never asks you to take her flying and she’ll turn down any offers you may give her. She may seem aloof and not interested but in reality, she very much wants you to carry her during flight. She’s a little embarrassed about it but mostly feels that you have better things to do than take her for a joy ride.

Whenever you grab her and fly her over to somewhere safe during a fight, she has a little fun while in the air with you.

Robin isn’t all that impressed at your inhuman strength. When you’re as well-traveled as she is you come across so many unique and bizarre people that you eventually become unfazed by it.

She does admire that, while you’re strong, it does take you some time to deal with a group of enemies. Some of the other crewmates are able to take out a lot of people in a crazy short amount of time so seeing you take a minute to beat up a group reminds her that you’re -- and the rest of the group as well -- still human and very real. You’re not some machine created to kill.

It was still a little jarring for her to see your petite frame bust some large guy’s ass and throw him across the battlefield. It took her a couple of battles to get used to it tbh.

Overall, Robin is very interested in you, both in who you are as a person and what you are as a being. To her, you are the definition of “looks can be deceiving” as you manage to surprise her time and time again.

Franky

When Usopp had come back to the ship bloody and bruised and without the money, you went out with the rest of the group that went to pay his attackers a visit.

When Franky first saw you approaching with the group he thought you were an angel (bc he’s corny like that). He laughed to himself a little bit thinking about how out of place you looked side by side with the rest of him. He stopped laughing, however, when you socked him in the jaw and sent him flying into a wall that was a few feet away.

Chaos ensued and the last glimpse he got of you was of your wings swaying as you walked away from the rubble of the Franky House with the rest of your crew.

Time passes and the events of Water 7/CP9 take place and before you know it Franky is now a part of the crew (much to your surprise).

Tbh, it takes you a hot minute to really warm up to him as a crewmate considering what he did to Usopp, but in the end, you decide to follow Usopp’s lead, and if he was willing to forgive Franky then you were too.

Franky’s corny ass asks you if you’re an angel or something similar and you have to tell him no, much to his disappointment. Like he visually deflates when you tell him you aren’t some Godsend.

He does like to place you on his shoulder and say some stupid shit like, “Look! I’ve got an angel on my shoulder!” It’s a little embarrassing when he does that on a new island and locals look at you like you’re insane.

He only once asked about what you were and after you told him you didn’t know he never brought it up again. Bro really just doesn’t care lmao.

Franky likes to just watch you move about sometimes. Your wings move in a way that is uniquely and completely you. When you lean forward your wings spread back to balance yourself. If you ever trip your wings flutter to right yourself. They’re just really fun to look at for him.

Franky will look at some of the schematics that Usopp made for items related to your wings and will actually make them (with modifications he sees fit). He also creates some of his own inventions for you to try out and if one particular item doesn’t do it for you Franky’s not offended at all and scrapes/revises it.

The first time Franky touched your wings was when he was making an item for you and needed your wings’ specific measurements. He noted just how soft they were and couldn’t help but press his face into them, causing you to laugh lightly.

You kept some of them, but most of his inventions for you were just too heavy/bulky for them to be practical in battle :/

He’ll ask you to try out some of his inventions from time to time similar to Usopp, specifically ones that are better executed from higher places.

Franky is not the person to ask for help to preen your wings. It’s not that he’s rough like Zoro -- quite the opposite in fact -- but because his hands are just so big. He has difficulty trying to grab individual feathers and often pulls three or four out at a time.

He is about just stroking your wings though. He uses very light pressure on them as his fingers ghost over your feathers and it almost feels like a gentle breeze instead of someone touching them.

Franky loves it when you give him your feathers! He often asks you to just give all the dead ones to him and he’ll personally go through them and pick out the ones he wants to keep.

He uses them for decorating his inventions and other things, as well as writing and just sitting pretty somewhere in his workshop. He even keeps one of them in his shirt pocket claiming that it’s “lucky.”

After the two of you became better acquainted, Franky asked you a few times to pick him up and fly with him. You tried, you really did, but you just couldn’t. You can pick him up relatively okay, but you just couldn’t take flight with him. He chalked it up to being mostly metal and didn’t bother you about trying again.

Franky learned his lesson the hard way not to fuck with you. His jaw was sore for days after you punched him in the face. He never saw you fight during the CP9 battle, so the first time he actually saw you fight as an ally was after the crew docked at the next island and were harassed by some other pirates.

Franky watched you throw a guy at least three times your size over your head and a solid twenty-five feet away from you. He then proceeded to witness you break someone’s nose with a headbutt and he was glad you hadn’t done that to him (although his nose is made of metal).

He then considered getting or making you a pair of brass knuckles to see just how much damage you could do in a single punch.

Overall, Franky is always looking for new inventions to make and your body provides a very unique canvas he can design his inventions for. In his eyes, you’re not only a unique individual but also someone who is forgiving and kind-hearted.

Brook

You met Brook with the rest of the crew near Thriller Bark. Immediately charmed by your beauty, Brook politely asked to see your underwear (regardless of your gender bc bffr he don’t care). Nami is quick to hit him for it.

Since he wasn’t present for most of Thriller Bark he kind of slipped your mind, since you had been dealing with zombies, until you ran into him by accident and he told you how to actually defeat them. Grateful, you do as he says.

After the stressful events of Thriller Bark and +1 more crewmate, you’re all off onto Fishman Island (until you take a detour to Sabaody Archipelago that is).

Brook assumes that your wings come from a devil fruit and is shocked one night when you casually mention you don’t have devil fruit powers. He then asks about it and you tell him that you just don’t know, so he doesn’t ask any further.

Expect this absolute dipshit to ask to see your underwear at least once a week if not more. Brook has a preference for pretty women, but really he likes anyone that’s pretty so you check the box in that aspect at least.

Brook likes to talk about Laboon with you. He feels that out of everyone on the ship, you’d understand his attachment to Laboon the most, even if you hadn’t met him in the East Blue.

Perhaps it’s because you resemble a bird? Brook isn’t even sure why he feels that way about you.

Brook would teach you how to whistle and mimic other bird calls/tweeting. He thought it fitting and thinks it amusing whenever he finds you somewhere on the deck delivering bird noises to yourself in the early morning.

It’s especially amusing when an actual bird or two respond to your call and sit with you on the deck.

Brook loves to hug you even if he can’t feel you (small headcanon: Brook is unable to feel since he lacks the nerve endings necessary to do so). He’s not a creep in the sense that he wants to touch you, he just loves the idea that he’s hugging someone since, hello, that man was alone for fifty years so he’s a little fucked in the head from that.

Tbh, he just likes to be around and in physical contact with you. Again, this stems from his time alone and he feels more safe when he’s with someone, especially you. Maybe, subconsciously, he views you as some kind of angel that’s there to guide him after his death so he feels the most at ease with you, but you’ll never hear him admit that.

Brook would be very good at preening your wings -- probably one of the best if you’re being honest. Since his fingers are nothing but bone they’re very precise in which feather they grab. Although, the lack of friction does mean that your feathers frequently slip through his bones, but two or three yanks later and the dead feather is gone!

Brook started collecting your feathers the first time you let him preen your wings. You know the boa he wears post-time skip? It’s made out of your feathers.

While Brook can’t actually feel your feathers, he just believes the others when they say they’re soft and will fight anyone who argues otherwise.

Brook is the easiest to fly with out of all the Straw Hats hands down. He genuinely feels like nothing when you carry him and you’ve actually dropped him once due to this.

Brook seems like the kind of guy to have a fear of heights, so he doesn’t ask you to carry him a lot when flying. He doesn’t mind though, however, when you bail him out of a tight spot in the middle of a fight.

He’ll actually be screaming and crying and thanking you as you set him down somewhere safe before continuing your own fight with whomever.

Speaking of fighting, Brook is terrified when he first sees you throw a punch. He was expecting some regular, non-devil fruit-type punch that would maybe disorientate someone. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to send someone twice, thrice your size across the room and skit to a halt on the hard, concrete floor.

He determined then that he would never make you mad and is very glad you’re on his side lmao.

Overall, Brook adores you, for your beauty/handsomeness, your kindheart, and your immense strength. You are someone he feels comfortable with and that he can form a deep bond with in a way he can’t with the other crewmembers; You are unique to him in that way.

Straw Hats

Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper all cuddle you when taking a nap lmao. Sometimes others will join you four, but they’re the core group :)

Nami and Sanji are the main people who like to dress you up (you have a whole collection of clothes that the two of them have bought for you), but you’ll often find Robin, Franky, and Brook in attendance at the small “fashion shows” Nami and Sanji “host” for you after they have gone shopping.

Franky will sometimes find little bird items that remind him of you, but instead of giving them to you himself, he hands them off to Robin to gift to you instead (embarrassed much, Franky?).

You, Robin, and Nami go to spas frequently whenever you get the chance. Nami always makes sure you get a deep tissue back massage there.

Considering your unique physique, there are many people who gawk at you whenever you enter new islands and towns. It’s mostly limited to stares and whispers amongst others, but occasionally someone will speak up and talk to you.

Zoro and Sanji are especially defensive of you when this happens. It’s not that they think you can’t handle yourself, it’s just that they want to make sure you have the appropriate backup necessary in case someone does get nasty with you.

There have been occasions when someone grabs your wings without your knowledge/consent, both random pedestrians and enemies.

If it’s a pedestrian then someone from the crew will probably leave them with a minor injury, such as a slap to the face or a punch to the gut.

If it’s an enemy then the crew is on that person in an instant.

There is one time you can vividly remember an enemy grabbing your wings. You were trying to move Luffy away from someone when you were suddenly grabbed by the ankle and dragged back to the ground, causing you to drop Luffy some feet away. A foot was set on your lower back with a lot of pressure and that’s when your wings were grabbed close to the base and pulled.

The scream that ripped through your throat was haunting as you tried to contort your back away from your assailant in vain. You felt warm blood drip onto your shoulders when suddenly all the pressure on you was gone and you saw the guy lying still on the ground several meters away from you.

Chopper tended to you first that night and noted the mostly minor tearing around the top base of your wings. It took a week to heal completely, yet the scars from it still remain on your back, a lighter color than the rest of the tissue there.

Overall, the crew loves you to bits and you love them too.

A/N: I was NOT intending this to be so long. I only wanted each character to be like 6-7 points each, but I got carried away as usual. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it!

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lover-222 · 6 months

Text

Birthday Boy (JF)

smut 18+

y/n had everything planned, she had went earlier in the day to victoria secret. she had found a perfect white lingerie set that she knew joão would love. it was his birthday so she wanted him to feel special. she set lit candles in their room and dimmed the lights.

she took a shower and lathered on her strawberry scented shampoo, she knew that joão secretly loved it. after her shower she dried and styled her hair. y/n already had her lingerie laid out on the bed, all she had to do was put on a little bit of makeup.

she sat down in font of her vanity and started her makeup. she did a simple small wing liner, waterproof mascara, highlighter, and lipstick. after that she changed into her lingerie set, it was a bit cold in their house so she also put on one of joão's white dress shirts that fit her big. she fixed their room since she knew joão was about to come home from training.

she lit the last candle, then heard the door open. he wore grey sweatpants and a white hoodie, his hair was messily done. joão looked beautiful as ever. he looked for y/n, until he spotted her in the entrance of their bedroom.

"hi my angel, what a pretty set you have on" he smirked as he looked her up and down; he wanted to devour her whole.

he wrapped his arms around her body and played with one of her long strands of hair.

"i heard it was a special boys' birthday today" she told him while looking up at his doe eyes. his brown eyes were a deeper shade of brown, lust filled his eyes. she took his hand and led him to their bed, she lightly pushed him on the bed, making him sit down.

joão took off his hoodie, leaving him completely shirtless. he reached out to y/n but she stopped him.

"no no no, not yet." she said as she started to teasingly take of the white dress shirt.

she looked absolutely beautiful to joão, her long black hair was flowy and soft. the white lingerie set hugged her figure, she looked like a doll; small and delicate.

y/n got on top of him making sure to give him small kisses on his abdomen, earning whines from the boy. she trailed kisses all the way to his collarbones, she bit him not too hard but enough to leave a mark. y/n kissed his neck while also leaving a couple of hickey's. joão was a mess under, his eyes were closed and he whined from the simple pleasure.

he was growing hard under her, "fuck my love you're teasing me".

"no i'm taking my time with you pretty boy, i like the way you moan for me" she teased him as she slightly grinded on his hard clothed cock.

y/n attacked his lips, she started making out with him. joão's hands trailed all over body but they settled on her ass. while y/n played and pulled his hair, making him groan.

she pulled away and looked at him, his cheeks were scarlet red and his lips were plump; the most beautiful sight ever. joão sat straight and leaned back on the headboard. he watched y/n's every move, she moved down and pulled down his sweatpants along with his boxers.

she kissed his thighs along with his cock, y/n looked up at him. he'd shut his eyes with the amount of teasing that y/n was doing.

"baby please please" joão whined.

"patience my love" she answered.

she took his cock in her hand and started licking it slowly. she kitty licked his tip and then would slowly twirl her tongue over his slit, that was already covered with precum. she took him into her mouth, while joão reached down to her head and grabbed her hair making a ponytail. he bobbed her head up and down, making her deepthroat him. her eyes were teary eyed but joão loved watching her taking him all in her mouth.

joão felt euphoric in her mouth, he was so close to his climax. the way she gagged on him and continued to spit and suck on his cock turned him on even more. she never lost the eye contact with him, her big eyes looked up at him. watching him come undone and watching him cum was incredibly hot.

he came in her mouth, he took her hand and pulled her up, so she was sitting on top of him. joão's cum was on the corner of her mouth. he reached out and wiped it off with his thumb, then made her open her mouth. she then sucked off his cum off of his thumb while gently sucking on it. y/n looked at the boy who was paying close attention to what she was doing.

at this point y/n's lingerie was on the floor, he was taking her all in. she was divine to him, she was a goddess to him and would do anything to worship her; and that's exactly what he did. he gently bit one of her breast yet still sucking on it, and then would massage the other. he desired her so bad, he was eager to have her.

"tonight's about you baby, my birthday boy" she told him then kissed him again.

she sat on his cock, and started to ride him. he was in pure bliss, he loved every second of it. she looked absolutely beautiful on top of him. the way her moans would synch with his would raised the sexual tension. every thrust into her was filled with so much pleasure.

y/n was reaching her climax as was joão, he swiftly grabbed her and was now topping her. his thrust became sloppier as they were both reaching their high. they came together, and laid next to each other.

"fuck that was amazing babe, i love you" joão said as he kissed her.

"you're welcome birthday boy" she replied then smiled.

#joao felix blurb #joao felix smut #football imagine #football oneshot #fc barca oneshot #fc barcelona #joao felix smut oneshot #joao felix #joao felix smut fanfic #joao felix smut imagine #joao felix x reader

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iguessthisisanewobsession · 1 year

Note

This is in response to the "Jason pretending to be/gaslighting himself into actual pregnancy" thread.

What exactly is Alfred’s and Bruce’s reaction to the…news? Like, how did they get told? Did the batkids (-Todd) sit them down, bring the board out, and try to quickly explain the ‘hey your son/grandson may be pregnant, yes it’s possible, halfa biology is a fun thing isn’t it?’ and all that jazz?

Or did Jason announce it randomly in the middle of chaotic family dinner and acted like he didn’t say anything odd, or did he bring it up offhandedly before waking away and ignoring any calls for him to return

Lmao maybe in a different world Jason chooses to announce it during a gala, Peeta ‘if it weren’t for the baby’ Mellark style, and then just let hell ascend.

Or did Danny break it by just simply asking Jason how the baby was

The first time the other boys breakdown.

It’s decided that Jason would tell Alfred at his own time and so they focus on Bruce.

They sit Bruce down in the cave and lay out their evidence the best they can.

And when the others come in later to suit up Bruce tries to bench Jason and that does not go down well.

A full screaming match that hasn’t happen since Jason’s switch, that ends with Bruce just shouting,

“I don’t care what happens out there right now, I can’t allow a pregnant person to put themselves in danger!”

And Jason just freezes in place, the cave is dead silent. Half of the clan is just looking on in confusion. The other boys are refusing to look in their general direction. Stephanie folds herself in half with a laugh and Alfred just raises an eyebrow.

Jason’s has to catch himself on the table to stop himself from falling over from the stitch in his side.

~~~~~~~~~

The second time is after the Desiree incident he goes to talk to with Alfred alone.

The what ifs were keeping him up, he needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge him.

They sat together under the island lights with tea and Alfred gave him a gentle hug .

Jason admitted that he didn’t know why he was crying anyways. It was his choice, he knew it was for the best.

Maybe it was just how bad he’s been feeling for the last week.

Alfred doesn’t judge and reassured Jason that he was allowed to feel such ways.

~~~~~~~

The third time it was real casual, so casual in fact that they others just through he was joking.

When the others realized he had completely kicked the last of his smoking habit and just said “for my baby” they thought he had quit during the prank.

When he declined a drink with Bruce and Dick he just said “baby” and they assumed he didn’t feel like it and was joking.

When Jason said he wasn’t going to patrol for awhile they assumed he was taking a well deserved vacation.

It wasn’t until he was a good four months along did they take a hint.

Dick, poking Jason side jokingly: Man little wing, not so little now. I know you’re on vacation and all that but you’re starting to let yourself go.

Jason not looking up from his writing: Gee Dickhead, thanks. Not like I’ve been growing your first nibling or anything.

Dick:…. What?

Jason: you know? My baby? Little thing making a mess of my guts rn?

*The others tuning in at the breakfast table*

Jason: guys, seriously. Did none of you take me seriously?

Damian: it was hard to after the last time

Jason: why’d you think I’ve sat out all the breakouts the last two months???

Tim: I just thought you were being a dick man.

Jason: Thanks. Old man, you good? You have been staring ahead for quite some time.

Bruce, mildly choked up: hmmm

Jason: ok good anyways what do you think about the name ‘Martha Jane Todd Wayne’ for a girl? I thought Jane Martha first but I think Martha Jane sits better on the tongue.

Bruce with an even more choked up expression: hmmm

#dp x dc #writing prompt #danny phantom #danny fenton #batman #dc x dp #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #mother hood au #mpreg

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ectoentity · 2 months

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Ectoplasm Gives You Wings 0.?

Hey here's a scene that happened long before Danny showed up have fun

Here is the subscription post

Need to know concept:

When you're in a world where wings are associated with ghosts, you're gonna assume that coming back from the dead with wings means you have some unfinished business. Harley Quinn POV.

Ever since Joker died, Harley expected his killer would come after her. She hadn't been with him for a couple years, but that hardly made up for the shit she'd done while they were together. Really the only surprise was that they hadn’t killed her first as a warning to him.

So when she walked into her apartment kitchen to see a guy with huge wings wearing a red helmet, Harley wasn’t terribly surprised. Not about the break-in or the gun pointed at her, at least.

"How'd'ya manage to fit those things in here?" she asked. The guy didn't answer. The wings flexed like he wanted to open them, but there wasn't any room.

"Harley," the Red Hood said, sounding very intimidating with some kind of voice modulation. "You know why I’m here."

"I can make a guess, big guy," Harley said sadly. "Nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"You let it happen. You helped him. Why should you escape justice?"

"I did my time for most of it. And I spent the last couple a years trying to put him in the ground. That doesn't fit into your equation somehow?" She tried edging slowly to a shelf where she had a gun of her own. Red Hood noticed. He stepped forward and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Did any of that bring back the innocent people you killed? The children you tortured?"

"Woah, woah, woah, time out. I never did anything like that to kids." Harley held her hands up in a T shape above Red Hood's fist. "I did some awful stuff I ain't proud of, but I never tortured kids."

"You didn't seem to care that he did."

Harley sighed and lowered her hands onto Red Hood's arm and tried to look into the eyes of his weird helmet. "What do you expect to happen here? You want me to beg until you feel satisfied? Sorry, buddy. Not really my style! I don't like a lotta what I did back then, but I can't fix it. I'm trying better now. If that's not good enough for ya, that's too bad."

The Red Hood didn't move for a moment. It was kind of creepy, if Harley was honest. He didn't say anything, he didn't twitch. Was the guy even breathing? It was always hard to talk to someone in a full face mask. There was no way to tell whether they were even listening. Contrary to popular belief, Harley didn't talk just to hear her own voice! Not often, at least.

The hand let go of her shirt. Harley pulled back to regain her balance, but she didn't relax just yet. There was still a big murderous birdman with a gun in her apartment. Even if he wasn't about to shoot her just now, he was still dangerous.

"Fucking hell," the guy said. He seemed to stagger backwards until one of his wings clipped the half-wall separating the kitchen from the living room. Then he leaned against the pillar heavily.

"Shit. You're right. This is pointless. Why am I here?"

Harley took her chance to grab her gun just in case, but Red Hood didn't seem to notice. She stared at him with suspicious, narrowed eyes. "Do you mean here in my apartment, or are you really having an existential crisis right now?"

"I'm not having a- Fuck. I guess I am." He held his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Harls."

Well, that was an unusual nickname. It wasn't something she heard much outside of kids from the Bowery or Narrows. Most other kids in Gotham got swept up by their parents before they could talk to her.

"You lose somebody?" she asked softly, gun tucked in her pocket. "Sibling? A kid?"

Red Hood choked out a bitter laugh. "Myself." When Harley's eyebrows did a wild semaphore of emotion, the asshole deigned to explain. "He killed me. I... I came back. Figured, y'know, I must've been brought back for a reason, right?" He sunk down further against the pillar, the white tips of his mostly-black wings spreading across the floor like the fabric of a cape.

Damn, Harley thought. That made a fucked up amount of sense. "I can't really blame you for thinking that," she admitted. "The feathers a new fashion choice then?"

"You could say that. Shit." Red Hood reached up to the bottom of his helmet and depressed some trigger there. Harley heard a hiss of pressurization before it popped off the guy's head. The first thing she saw was black hair. That wasn't surprising. The surprising thing was when he leaned his head back against the pillar, revealing a young face and a shock of white hair in his bangs. Then he opened his eyes, and they were as blue as the sky.

"Hey kid? What did you say your name was?"

He took a devastatingly long time to respond.

"They called me Robin, once."

#dpxdc #jason todd #harleen quinzel #i originally wanted this to go further #but the last line was just too good #ectoplasm gives you wings #egyw

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dollya-robinprotector · 8 days

Note

You can answer this whenever, or never, if you don't want to! But can I ask for advice on how you come up with outfits? I saw the one with Nyan and Kariya's protest outfits not too mention the ones you come up with on your own.

They're all just so pleasing to the eye, and I need to know your secret!!! or tips or anything!!! 🙏🙏🙏

I guess all I can say is you gotta see a lot, save it to your memory, and know how to do some mix-match.

If you take a look at the Galery section in my commission info web, you'll see nothing I've done to the PCs comes even a bit close to what I actually design for commission or work. The style, I mean. So if you want to draw clothes or characters with simple but still pleasing designs, I think it's safe to say just do whatever you like. My PCs wear only black and white because I like those colors. Lyah wears glasses because I like men with glasses, he has his sleeves rolled up because I like men when they roll their shirt sleeves up. Lya's dress top is skimpy because I like to draw soft boobs spilling out of the hem of clothes. Kariya wears virgin killer because I like bare back and side boobs, etc... Do what you like most. Then you'll know how to make them pretty.

Or... if you want to be more complicated, let's say, hoyoverse or onmyouji or Square Enix level, even Love Nikki level of complicated, then you must really add as many things as possible to your image library. I don't know how to actually say this, it's hard to put into words, but just keep finding references and keep drawing.

Motifs and tropes are something to learn too. For how insect wings and flowers will make you think of fairy or natural, while clocks or gears remind you of steampunk.

How to make a female character look like a mommy? What kind of mommy are we talking about? The "ara ara" type? By making their figure look more round and plum, making their hair loose or more silky with a long dress and apron, and making them always have their palm to cup the side of their face, and tilt their head a little... Things like that. Sometimes stereotype is a good way to start your design game.

Or how to tell if a character is a young brat? Spiky hair, missing teeth with bandages here and there, maybe a tattoo or some piercings with sloppy clothes? Butttttt when you look closer they always have, maybe, some cute stickers on their belongings? Maybe because they have a lil sibling and they have a soft side for that sibling? Yeah, sneak in some easter egg here and there. It's fun when people notice an Easter egg and hopefully, that could lead to questions or discussion between your fans!

#dollya ask #dol pc #dollya art #just dollya herself #phew this one sketch came out nice you're in luck anon

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cogentranting · 6 months

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Ranking Animated Horse Designs Take 3

This time I really am back by popular demand because the other two posts have been getting a steady trickle of notes for over a year now.

(If you're looking for stuff like Disney and Dreamworks there are two other posts. Here we've got mostly random cartoons and also the Pokemon horses)

Starlite (Rainbow Brite) 6/10 Little weird that he seems to be drawn in a style that's like 3x more realistic than any other character in this show but hey sometimes you just ascend to a higher plane of existence. (2014 Reboot Starlite gets a 3/10. I do not trust him.)

Skydancer (Rainbow Brite) 7/10 I bumped Starlite down a point because he wants what Skydancer has. Skydancer doesn't need rainbows to fly. Skydancer has a lightning bolt. Skydancer has the Drama. (The one wiki page said he's a Shire or a Clydesdale and um I don't think so. Maybe a Friesian.)

On-yx (Rainbow Brite) This is a rocket powered balloon animal. 2/10

Sunriser (Rainbow Brite) 5/10 Eh. I like her hair though.

Swift Wind (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power/ She-Ra Princess of Power)

Right (older version) 8/10 I don't understand the wing physics going on here. Also not sure if the horn is part of the mask or just attached to the mask. Diggin the bib though. Also love that he's a ginger.

Left (new version) 4/10 If the older version wasn't there this would score higher because just as a character design I don't think it's bad but if these are supposed to be the same character he seems so cutesy and I do not vibe with it. I don't know either show. So maybe that works. But it feels wrong.

Amalthea (The Last Unicorn) 9/10 They gave the unicorn the split deer hooves, and the lions tail and that is automatic points from me. Bummed they didn't go all out and give us the goat's beard. Rude. Any distance shot, I love. Close-ups of the face creep me out with the giant doll eyes and tiny nose.

(Pokemon and more below)

Honey Pie Pony (Strawberry Shortcake) 8/10 Adorable. Fantastically chunky design. The others from this... show? book? brand? are like 6s or 5s depending. But Honey Pie has the It factor. (The It Factor here apparently being that recurring pattern of only the main character's horse being able to talk?? This is the third. Swift Wind, Starlite and Honey Pie have dark secrets about how they come by this knowledge).

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic "ponies" Just as characters they're cute in a "trying so hard to be cute that they almost miss the mark entirely" way. But this is about how they are as HORSE designs. And these are magical gremlins not horses. 1/10 (WHAT is happening on the far right of this set. I do not approve. Zebra is fine though).

My Little Pony: A New Generation Like if the MLP: FM ponies and the Trolls characters somehow had children. Somehow the main character of Bee Movie was also involved. The one on the left makes TikTok thirst traps. -2/10

My Little Pony Tales 3/10 I can almost tell they're meant to be horses. Plus that one has a tattoo of a comb. So. Full extra point for the comb tattoo.

Bratz Horses I can't tell if there's an official video game or cartoon design for these but in ANY given version I found the conclusion is the same: if you look into the gigantic distended eye you will be put under the horse's curse. 1/10

Boxer (Animal Farm) 4/10 All horses are equal but some are more equal than others, but Boxer is not one of them because his mouth is not okay.

Marvin (Marvin the Tap Dancing Horse) 5/10 I mean. Dude's got spats. Come on.

Ponyta (Pokemon) 3/5 The armpit and middle thigh flames were a choice.

Rapidash (Pokemon) 8/10 Look at his face. The angst. He has seen things.

Mudsdale (Pokemon) 8/10 The classic mohawk, dreadlocks and legwarmers trifecta. Love it. Would love to hug him.

Galarian Ponyta 3/10 It's giving sheep, and it's giving dog. Very little horse.

Galarian Rapidash (Pokemon) 4/10 He's angry because his hair is too long and he can't walk and also he has not eaten enough somebody feed this horse.

Origin Palkia (Pokemon) 6/10 A built-in hoola-hoop AND thigh high Boots?! what fashion.

Keldeo (Pokemon) 1/10 Clown goat.

Spectrier (Pokemon) 10/10 Beautiful goth girl horse floating around like a Victorian ghost who's too modest to show her ankles.

Mudbray (Pokemon) 5/10 He has passed through the depths of existential dread and returned world-weary but unshakeable and with a snazzy bowl cut.

Glastrier (Pokemon)

20/10 ICE HORSE ICE HORSE ICE HORSE. I love him so much. He's punk rock

The Fat Horse (Looney Tunes) 10/10 Queen.

#horse rating #horses #horse girl #pokemon #rainbow brite #mlp #my little pony #the last unicorn #she-ra #strawberry shortcake #long post #i put in a page break this time

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hypnoneghoul · 2 months

Note

Father hyppp i am hungy for more ficlets (of any kind) 😞😞 literally obsessed with your writing style

stawp bro you'll make my raging daddy kink turn and go the other way... (I like it) speaking of which daddy kink is exactly what you get heh

820 words of daddy aether and transmasc baby boy dew comfort cockwarming. fluffy kinda smut? i think it is

Aether was doing… nothing, really, reading yet another book by his desk in the infirmary. It was empty, but there always had to be someone there in case of emergencies. He looked over at the annoyingly ticking clock and sighed. Thirteen minutes left of his shift.

The quintessence ghoul turned the page, then another and another, until he heard the door opening. For a split second he had thought it was Omega coming to switch him a few minutes early, but before he even lifted his eyes, Dewdrop’s scent hit his nose.

Anxiety flared in him, afraid that the reason for the fire ghoul’s trip to the hospital wing was injury on his person, but all that dissipated when Dewdrop sent him a crooked smile. There was something… off about him, but he was fine. Aether guessed he’d just come for a visit.

“Hey, firefly,” he greeted him, putting the book down. “What brings you here?”

Dewdrop shrugged, coming closer with a slight slump to his posture.

“What’s wrong?” He didn’t get a reply, only the fire ghoul falling into his arms the moment he was close enough. He hid his face in the other’s chest, hands coming up to cling to his biceps. “Dewdrop, are you alright, baby?”

A whine left him at that and Aether noticed a certain switch in his scent. He was nearly sure what it was but– “Look at me, love.” With help from one of the quintessence ghoul’s hands, Dewdrop lifted his head and– there it was. His eyes all glassy and his pupils blown.

“Oh, baby,” Aether cooed. “Need me to take care of you, yeah?”

Dewdrop nodded.

The quintessence ghoul looked over at the clock again. Two minutes left. He supposed Omega wouldn’t mind if he cut off a minute off of his shift… He hummed in thought before hooking his arms under the small ghoul’s thighs and picking him up. Dewdrop immediately shoved his face into his neck and kicked up a small purr, clinging to Aether for dear life.

Not minding being seen in the corridors, Aether walked out of the infirmary, whispering softly into his mate’s ear. He didn’t know what brought this particular need of his up this time, but he didn’t care, not now. He’d find out later and possibly murder someone if someone was at fault.

“I’ve got you, baby boy. Daddy will take care of you.”

Aether had no idea which one of them enjoyed that particular dynamic more. He’d guess Dewdrop, but the way heat flooded him every single time that word would fall from the fire ghoul’s lips was implying otherwise. It was safe to say they were both incredibly down bad. Sometimes it was just for sex, sometimes it was a way of sharing comfort, sometimes both. Whatever Dewdrop would need.

Now that they finally got to their bedroom, Aether would find out what it was that his mate needed that day. He crawled onto the bed, still holding him, and sat by the headboard. “What is it, baby? What do you need from me?”

“Want your dick, daddy, but– but just– not...” Dewdrop muttered, but seemingly couldn’t spit out what it was that he wanted. Good thing Aether knew him better than he did himself.

“Want to warm me for a bit?” he asked quietly, as if someone would hear. He got a slight nod in response and rewarded Dewdrop with a kiss to the bridge of his nose. They shuffled around to take off their pants, just enough for Aether to take his half-hard cock out and for Dewdrop’s cunt to be able to take it.

The quintessence ghoul slipped his fingers into his mate, finding him slippery already, and stretched him out for just a minute, not wanting to wait any longer for Dewdrop’s sake, but also not wanting to hurt him. When he started to whine quietly against his neck, Aether took his fingers out and lifted the small ghoul up, lining his cock up with his hole.

With a huff Dewdrop sank down onto it, Aether’s dick fitting inside him perfectly, like they were made for each other. The quintessence ghoul said as much, swallowing the noise Dewdrop made at that as he kissed him deeply. “There we go, baby boy. You’ve got me, daddy’s all yours.”

The fire ghoul hummed appreciatively before nuzzling himself back against Aether’s chest, face tucked safely under his chin, nose in his neck. He wrapped his arms all around him and brought a soft blanket to truly swaddle Dewdrop. A rumbly purr sounded from him and Aether kicked up his own, raspy and loud.

Whether Dewdrop would fall asleep like that, decided he’d want to be fucked for real, or whatever else, Aether was content. He had his mate all soft and warm and close to him, and he didn’t need much else. Whatever he’d want, he’d be granted, but for now…

#hypnone writes #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #dewther #cw daddy kink

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starberry-cupcake · 26 days

Text

I have made the most 2008 goth forum-like banner I could create to put my liveblogging posts of tlt under because those are the vibes I find appropriate and it gives me nostalgia. If this was 2008 blogspot, you'd be hearing something like HIM's Wings of a Butterfly, or something like that, please picture that.

previously, in gideon the ninth:

this happened

were we are now:

I forced myself to stop reading for the day so I could update a sensible amount and not a thesis length post nobody will read

it wasn't easy to force myself to stop reading

you know how it is

so, turns out that protozoa was dead all along (ish)

people here die and live and kinda live-die and die-live, you know

dulcinea del toboso soraya montenegro septimus was hiding that fact

she has also not mentioned exactly how he died (she said an accident??? harrow said he was stabbed?? what, he fell on a sword heart first????)

I am still not done with her

I still don't trust her

she's gonna die and I'm gonna still think she's scheming

ANYWAY

gideon DID suspect harrow

she had a bit of a crisis over it in front of palmolive's salad

palmolive reacts by taking off and putting on his glasses 25 times

and harrow had my exact thought process of "she's gonna go to dulcinea instead of me if she finds out"

I am very unnerved at how much my thought process and harrow's have aligned so far

very concerned for my mental state

ANYWAY (vol. 2)

palmolive says what I said, that it's not harrowcita's style to kill so sloppily

gideon tells palmolive her past trauma and how all the kids in the ninth except her and harrowbeth died and how she blames herself because harrow kinda had the childhood of asuka langley soryuu in evangelion but worse

palmolive does this

camilla, the moon to my stars, the woman of the year, my qp wife, brings in harrow with a handcuff

so, let me set the scene

there's a guy's head in a box, gideon has told palmolive her life story, and in comes camilla with harrow on a kid harness like she's a scary parent at disneyland

this is a sitcom

anyway, they all go to dulcinea's lair and have a talk with the group

I still kinda stan yandere twin ianthe (sp??), I'm not gonna lie you folks

she's ooky kooky spooky in a fun way

like, deranged (affectionate)

so, as usual, nobody agrees on anything and everyone fights and dulcinea coughs up a hairball

now, harrow and gideon go to the pool

which is salty now, much like gideon

my first thought was "gideon can't swim, she's gonna drown like sonic!!"

but they could stand in the pool apparently so it's fine

I mean, physically it's fine, EMOTIONALLY not so much

it's time to come clean, share trauma and also maybe flirt in the pool, if that's what's going on here

I think it's what's going on

it's hard to tell with them, but there's tension, proximity and hugs and stuff

basically, if I understand correctly, the ninth put all the kids in an infomercial blender and harrowbean was powered into life

but gideon is baby hercules and survived

which explains why she was turned into a blood sprinkler and the next day she was doing push ups like a maniac

I mean, it explains why she could physically do that, not why she thought that's the safe thing to do

so the ninth was like ?????? and feared gideon

and proceded to treat her like konoha treated naruto uzumaki

no adult person in the ninth was making sound decisions, it's what I'm getting at

case in point: ortus and his mom were blown to bits

also, very important

if I understood right, there's a frozen girl in the ninth's fridge tomb

a frozen girl like dr victor fries's wife nora in batman, or hyoga's mom in saint seiya, or han solo

ice cube frozen girl with a sword and chains and the vibe of this specific barbie doll from the haunted beauty collection

it's like if snow white was the apocalypse

you're gonna hate all my references by the end of this

I'm so sorry

there's a threat in a girl, in the ice, in the tomb, in the ninth house, that's the gist of it

and harrow has existential trauma because pretty much every person below the age of 18 died for her to live, so she wants to make it count

and gideon is hercules who comes from elsewhere and has the genes of a demigod or a kryptonian

but all of that doesn't matter, what matters is that harrow says the most metal phrase ever and goes: "I am a war crime"

?????? HELLO?????

and here's the thing (I have told you this @lady-harrowhark ), this is the book @ me every time I discover some truth and I look at my ebook's progress bar

if you're not completely annoyed, I'll be back tomorrow with more reactions to reveals

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #long post #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers #gideon the ninth spoilers

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delta-pavonis · 3 months

Note

'allo! may i have a bit of Friend Like Me? ;)

Absolutely! I have posted some of this before, but once again Tumblr's search function is failing me and apparently I can't organize my own tags for shit so... This is Matthew + Hob used to be partners in crime (literally) and Hob may or may not have started the crew from Leverage. 😂

100% G-rated fluff over here.

Hob has to do this every few decades otherwise he would be up to his eyeballs in storage units. It isn't fun, but neither is having too many moving parts to keep track of and potentially getting caught by another asshat with a hard-on for immortality.

What was that quote he had read? "No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style."

Not to mention the myriad other enemies he had accumulated via his network of grifters, hitters, and hackers.

(What? The current state of technological advancements meant that Hob needed to get better at tracking and erasing his digital presence back in the late nineties. Was it his fault that while he was living in the States he had accidentally amassed a highly skilled group of "criminals" who were all connected to him like spokes to the hub on a carriage wheel? And that it turned out that they were, as a team, really great at liberating funds and removing items from billionaire idiots who didn't need a fraction of their accumulated wealth and power? That they did it so well that Hob had to fake his own death earlier than expected to get out from under a particularly angry arms dealer? Was that really all because of him?)

(Yes. Yes it was.)

Yeah, anyway, Hob didn't leave the house without at least one blade on his person anymore.

This is why, when Hob is interrupted by a large black mass swerving into his storage unit through the crack in the door that should be far too small to admit such a creature, he pulls the nearest throwing knife (he was crouching, so he went for the one concealed in a sheath on the outside ankle of his black leather chelseas), clocks the intruder's movement in his peripheral vision, and wings it directly at them. It hits the wall with a satisfying kthud, which is promptly followed by a very avian squawking.

"FUCKING CAWCHRIST MY DUDE WAS THAT A KNIFE!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, THE IDES OF FUCKING MARCH?!"

That voice! Hob's head snaps up to see a sizable black bird falling in a tumble. It hits the concrete floor with a sound not unlike a briefcase hitting pavement from a story up (what? It is a very distinctive sound), leaving three large feathers tacked into the wall by the knife.

"Fuck me sideways that HURTS. Note to self, birds no likey losing butt feathers." The bird (A raven? Like this is the bloody Tower of London?) walks out from around a cardboard box with a bit of a waddle in its step, trying to look back at his tail while he moves. "I guess the Boss didn't tell you I was coming then?"

Hob sits back on his heels. That voice is still hauntingly familiar. But he would damned well remember meeting a talking bird. "Well, perhaps if you told me who your Boss is..."

The raven leaps a solid four feet into the air with a screech. He lands on top of a small writing desk, scrabbles against the smooth surface to balance himself, and then looks down at Hob with one glass-black eye. "I can't believe... no fucking way... Robbie? Is that you? Didn't you die in 2017?"

"Mattie?!" Hob's ass hits the cool floor as he is blown back by the revelation. "Didn't you die in 2020?"

Matthew Cable had been one of Hob's favorite grifters. Not because he was absolutely perfect at his job (oh no, Mattie had fucked up spectacularly more times then Hob’s blood pressure wants to recall), but because they had quickly become "let's get absolutely toasted and MST3K bad horror movies while we bitch about our love lives" buddies. Hob had missed Mattie immediately upon his own faked death and had mourned when he heard, through various channels he still kept an ear to, that Mattie had died in his sleep not too long ago.

"Yeah, but when I died I was given, like, a choice? Apparently the King of Dreams needed a new Raven and I decided to give it a go. Sounded much more interesting to work for him than actual death. There must be some mistake because I was sent here with a message for Hhh..." Mattie freezes.

"Dream sent you?" Hob tilts his head in interest. This was the Matthew he had often mentioned? A raven that carried his messages? Hob had been jealous over a bird?! (Oh Christ, how embarrassing.)

"Wait... what the fuck are you doing in Hob GaaaaAAHHHH!" Mattie the Raven starts hopping around frantically. "YOU ARE NOT JUST IN HOB GADLING'S STORAGE UNIT. YOU ARE HOB GADLING! FRIEND OF THE LORD MORPHEUS, KING OF DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES!"

Hob can't help his laughter. "Oh, he told you I was his friend, did he?" That Dream had called him friend to someone else shouldn't feel as good as it did. Hob tamps that useless bit of emotion down hard. (No good can come of that, better to put it away.) "Only took him six centuries to get there, stubborn wanker that he is." He fails to keep the fondness from his voice.

"Christ you have no idea how much of a wanker sometimes..." Mattie shuffles his feathers. "Look, I gotta know the story here, man. How did you meet the King of Dreams?"

Hob stands, brushing off his jeans. "That... is a rather long story." He considers for a minute, barely that, rubbing at the back of his neck, before coming to a decision. "Look, it isn't like I get my close friends back from the dead every day... how about we head back to my flat, pull up something ridiculous like Slenderman, and I will fill you in on my story? Like old times?"

Mattie flaps over and lands on Hob's shoulder. "Hells to the yes. Especially if we can find out if ravens respond to THC. Shit, you ever get more of that Amnesia shit the team picked up in Amsterdam during that art heist job?"

Hob's belly laugh echoes in the small room. "I think I still have some squirreled away from my last trip to the continent."

He locks the storage unit behind them. All the spring cleaning can happen another day.

___________________________________

They did not, upon making it back to Hob’s flat above The New Inn, actually end up watching their intended horror movie. Instead, as they were flipping through options, they stumbled upon the live-action remake of Aladdin and Mattie had been so damned adamant that he wanted to see it while high that Hob had allowed the deviation from their established pattern.

“That bird is a fucking useless sidekick. I will show you how to do it!” Matthew stands, wobbles, and falls off where he had been balanced on the arm of Hob’s couch.

Hob cackles, slouching back into the cushions. “Well, that’s your answer to the question about birds and THC, innit?”

Matthew flapped his way up onto the space next to Hob. “Hey, I am still getting used to this stupid body without any fucking thumbs.”

“Fair enough.” He shrugs, sinking even further back and letting the movie drift into the background, a gentle blanket of familiar songs. “So I can feel you trying to not ask questions. Ask away, Mattie. I owe you that much, at least.”

“Fucking right you do, faking your death like that caw.” The raven shakes his head. “Where even to start… Oh! I got it! When and how did you meet the King of Dreams and Nightmares? That must have been a trip and a half.”

The memory makes Hob even warmer and he feels himself grinning as he looks at the ceiling. “I was drinking with my pals at a tavern, the White Horse, in the year of our lord thirteen hundred and eighty nine…”

“Wait. The fuck? You are…” Mattie clearly stops to count for a blink, “almost seven hundred years old?”

“That I am, now let me finish… I rather loudly proclaimed that I had decided not to die. Just wasn’t going to fucking do it. And that was when he approached the table,” Hob closes his eyes, the swooping feeling of seeing Dream for the first time still razor sharp in his memory. Should he tell Mattie? Well, he had never been dishonest with the man before, no reason to start now. So Hob let all his emotional walls down. “And I swear to God, Mattie, it was like seeing a meteor shower for the first time. It was like discovering a second moon. I was absolutely dumbstruck by the beauty of this cocky young Lordling, all standing before me like he owned half the country. Looked it too, with that giant fucking ruby around his neck and his fine clothing.” Hob shakes his head, grin widening. “He offered me a deal. If I wanted unending life, then I could come back to that tavern on the same day at the same time one hundred years hence and tell him of my experiences of life so long-lasting. And here I am.” When Mattie doesn't immediately respond, Hob opens his eyes and turns his head. “What?”

The raven was studying him intently. When he spoke it was carefully metered and very much not in jest. “Robbie. I might be a bird now, but I would know that expression on your face anywhere. Do you… Are you…”

He didn’t need to put words to it, Hob knew exactly what his friend meant. He shrugged. “Aye, I probably am. But you have to understand, Mattie, he has been the only constant in my whole long life. Hundreds of relationships. Thousands of friendships. Centuries of life. And he was my only anchor.” Hob lets himself drift on that thought for a moment before coming back. “Did you know that I didn’t know his name until a few months ago when he showed up at the New Inn?”

“What?! What kind of asshole doesn’t give his – oh, wait, this is Dream I am talking about, isn’t it…”

Hob laughs. “You are very correct. Dream’s stubbornness is only surpassed by his beauty.”

“Wow. You’ve got it bad.”

“Most likely.” Hob inclines his head. “But I am happy with whatever type of relationship he is capable of with me."

The raven whistles. "Got it baaaad."

____________________________

And so it happens that Hob and Mattie are stonedly bickering over if Will Smith’s portrayal of the Genie was a good homage or a bad mockery (all while A Whole New World starts up in the background) when the King of Dreams and Nightmares steps out of nothingness and into Hob’s living room.

“Matthew! You were told to deliver a message, not spend an entire day-”

Hob cuts Dream off with an overdramatic, “OoooOOOOoooh, Mattie, you are in trooooouble.” Dream’s stern face snaps to Hob’s and he slaps a hand over his mouth while he giggles none-too-loudly, “OooooOOOh, now I am in trooooouble.”

That makes Mattie burst into giggles and let it be known that the giggle of a raven is not actually a pleasant sound to take in.

So it makes Hob laugh harder.

Then he sees Dream’s absolutely bewildered expression.

And that makes Hob laugh even harder.

Sobbing as he laughs, collapsed to the floor (having initially fallen clear off the couch in surprise at Dream’s entrance), clutching his belly, Hob can’t even bring himself to worry that Dream might actually be angry with him. Fuck, Hob just got Mattie back. This is fucking great.

Hob wipes at his face as his hysterics subside, trying to keep his voice steady as he addresses Dream from his place on the floor. “I’m sorry, m’love, I didn’t mean to patronize you, I just-” He cuts himself off when he sees, for the first time, a petal-pink blush color his Stranger’s cheeks.

“You called him your love!” Mattie cackles. Hob feels himself blush now, too. That was a slip. That shouldn’t have happened. (Ah, bollocks.) “You are so in for it now. The Boss hates pet names! Once I tried to call him Lord Mew-mew because he was acting like a wet fucking cat and-”

“Enough.” Dream waves his hand to his Raven and the bird is immediately silenced. “Matthew, leave us. I am not asking.”

“Aww, maannn.” Mattie shakes himself off and seems to become shockingly sober with just a ruffle of feathers. “Roger that, Boss. See you back at home.” Then he nods to Hob. “We should do this again sometime.”

Before Hob can respond Mattie has taken wing and flown out a window that definitely was not open a moment ago. When he looks back up it is to have Dream’s hand in front of his face, gently offering to help him stand. Hob takes it, if only for the excuse to touch his Stranger’s skin for the first time. (His touch is cool, his fingers long and uncalloused, his skin smooth. Hob memorizes every sensation greedily.)

Dream seems to realize this once Hob is on his feet because the blush deepens slightly and he retracts his hand with a jerky motion.

“I am sorry if I offended you, Dream.” Hob takes a step to the side and tries to catch his friend’s eye. Dream keeps purposefully looking away. “It is just a silly human endearment. I am rather high on some excellent weed and I didn’t mean-”

“Ah.” Dream interrupts and Hob’s jaw clicks shut. Dream is still not looking at him and so Hob can see the way the muscles in his jaw flex with tension. “Just a silly endearment. You did not mean it.”

Something fiery swoops inside Hob. Dream has never acted like this. Never avoided Hob’s eyes. Never interrupted him. And all because Hob had accidentally called him love.

See, thing is, Hob does mean it. More than he has words for. But never did he think… Dream couldn’t possibly. Fuck. Hob is too high to think clearly about this.

Hob steps into Dream’s line of sight, forces the slightly taller anthropomorphic personification to meet his eyes. Why it comes out a whisper when Hob speaks he will never know. “Dream. Do you want me to mean it? Do you want me to call you,” he hesitates for a moment because this could ruin everything. (But look at him! Look at the hurt in his expression, the tension in his shoulders. He does not hide it well, now that Hob knows what to look for - thanks, Sophie.) “my love?”

It is answer enough to see Dream’s pupils dilate and his nostrils flare. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

He is shaking when he goes to take Dream’s hand, brings it up to press a kiss to those beautiful fingers. “If I am reading this wrong then please please let’s just chalk it up to the THC and pretend this never happened. But…” Hob takes the last step in and now they are almost chest-to-chest, “I thought you would have figured it out after 1689… you are my guiding star. It is you who I wait decades for. You who I hope to impress with my experiences. You who I have yearned to touch with every fiber of my being for literal centuries.” Dream is blinking wide eyes at him now, confusion and surprise and hope all written there. “And if your friendship is all I can have, then so be it. But, Dream. If I had three wishes I would spend them all just to be able to call you love.”

#Pavonis writes #Dreamling #Leverage AU

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sirfrogsworth · 1 year

Text

The Babylon Bee School of Comedy

Have you ever wanted to make Elon Musk reply to you with a double cry laughing emoji?

If you crave that sweet billionaire validation you need only follow this carefully crafted conservative comedy content creation course for that powerhouse of online satire... The Babylon Bee.

Soon you too could be bootlicking billionaire balls with the rest of The BBee writers.

Are you ready to get your learn on?

Let us Bee-gin.

The number one most important rule that all The BBee writers must internalize to their core...

Conservative comedy abhors effort.

Brainstorming for hours on end to craft the perfect premise and punchline... is for the Libs. Check out this Facebook meme that got 10,000 likes.

Can you order Starbucks from a bar? Doesn't matter, it's a snowflake drink for a snowflake Lib.

Does this joke not have an actual punchline? Doesn't matter, get lost you stupid Lib!

Is this technically a joke by definition? Doesn't matter, if you believe it is a joke, then it's a joke! Just like modern currency.

If you put too much thought into a joke, it might grow in complexity. That could be confusing! The death knell of any conservative joke are the words, "Hmm, that's a thinker."

This brings us to rule number two...

NO THINKERS!

Let's take this Ben Garrison comic as an example.

Spell everything out! Label everything! Don't leave anything to the imagination! If your audience has to figure something out or draw their own conclusions, what fun is that?

Conservatives want to hear things that are familiar. They want their beliefs parroted back at them. You must regurgitate those beliefs and then just make it *sound* like a joke. Don't break new ground or introduce new ideas. Don't get all caught up in interesting wordplay or clever puns or subverting expectations.

All expectations should be fully verted.

That is definitely a word because I saw someone use it on Facebook. End of research.

Here is a helpful tip. If you can't imagine the joke coming out of the mouth of late night comedy genius GUTFELD!, then you need to dial it back a bit. Do not surpass GUTFELD! levels of humor. GUTFELD! is your touchstone.

youtube

Oh, GUTFELD! I laughed so hard I FELD it in my GUT.

See, I went too far with my fancy pun. That is not the GUTFELD! way.

But what happens if inspiration is fleeting and you can't pay attention to your comedy writing task because you don't believe ADHD is real and thus you are unmedicated?

Don't you worry. If you do happen to get writer's block or are distracted by a funny Pepe meme or a shiny object, just call your racist uncle and say the magic word... "Bidenflation."

As the ensuing unhinged rant darts from subject to subject without any kind of connecting theme, just start writing down every right wing buzzword you hear. Then just insert those buzzwords Mad Libs-style into a derivative joke format.

Let's practice!

Ex. 1: Why did the PRONOUNS cross the BORDER? To get to the DRAG QUEEN STORY HOUR!

Ex. 2: How many GENDERS does it take to GROOM a lightbulb? Two! One to hold the BUTT PLUG and one to GO WOKE, GO BROKE.

Great start! I'm sure with a polishing pass those will make more sense. Or not. The bar is pretty much "will it get clicks?" so we're not too worried about coherence.

Heh... Mad Libs.

U MAD, LIBS?

Get it? Cuz Libs are always mad? About the normalized bigotry and whatnot.

Jokes are always better when you need to explain them.

Oh! That's another rule. Write that down. Wisdom like this is why I am teaching this course, of course. Hah, that's like that horse show song. I got jokes coming out the wazoo. Wazoo is my butt, right? Siri, is wazoo a butt? Oof, I'm kinda spacing on what the next lesson is.

I really wish Matt Walsh hadn't flushed my Adderall down the crapper.

Can I get a second opinion? Top Gun was so good. What does Tom Cruise think about ADHD? He always has good takes on stuff like this. Did I leave my oven on? Shazam, what song goes doodoo doo doo doooooo? Can you vacuum a yard? Has anyone tried that? That sounds more like a marijuana thought than an ADHD tangent. I should double check the THC content of that cotton candy vape juice.

I'm flyin' off the rails over here.

Matt, are you super duper sure it's not real?

Okay, fine. I'm an "energetic boy."

I hope whichever fish absorbs my meds is extra focused on whatever fish shit he needs to get done.

COMEDY WRITING!

Sometimes it is best to learn through observation. Let's eavesdrop on an actual The BBee writer's room to see how the sausage is made...

"So what did your racist uncle have to say?"

"Well, first he texted me a cameraphone picture of Trump as an astronaut that he wants me to print out cuz he doesn't know what a crypto wallet is... but then he said all the woke schools are turning kids into a bunch of gay commies."

"EUREKA!"

Classic! The BBee writers strike again. I mean, they aren't striking. There is no commie clamoring for a union at The Babylon Bee. That's for damn sure. FOCUS!

Do you get the joke though? With the kids and the gay and the communism?

Because all of those woke schools totally cover complex economic theories in 4th grade and all it takes to turn gay is a little persuasion from a teacher with green hair. Libs of TikTok wouldn't lie about that. End of research.

Look at this public school teacher!

I mean, you knooow she has a litter box in her classroom. I can just sense it. End of research.

Sure... it is just a context-free picture of a person with green hair in front of a flag and you cannot actually judge the quality of their teaching ability from this. But yoouuu knoooooow she is skipping right over grammar lessons and giving detailed instructions on how to turn gay.

Step 1: Look at a bunch of butts. Step 2: Touch a bunch of butts. Step 3: Gay sex a bunch of butts.

(Replace butts with cooches for lesbians.)

Grooming accomplished.

And you definitely shouldn't look up that green-hair'd, nose ring'd educator and research her any further. Extensive research is for the Libs, bro. Because you definitely don't want to discover she is a passionate high school English teacher who makes fun content on TikTok in the hopes that people will buy things off her wishlist so her students will have a better learning experience. I mean, caring about her students? That's so gay.

YoooOOOuuuUUU knnnooooooOOOw she is a bad teacher because she has green hair and a flag. End. Of. Research.

So... you have your gay communist headline that is perfect to get all of those sweet conservative clicks. But you still have a full webpage to fill out with more words and stuff.

Now I want to see if you learned anything from my perfectly focused and informative teachings. I want you to write some jokes about kids becoming gay communists.

Ready? GO!

Joke #1 Little Billy has wealthy parents so all the students will share his cookie at snack time.

Joke #2 At the beginning of the day, students pick a new gender out of a hat but all the kids fight over Attack Helicopter.

Joke #3 At lunch, the students have to stand in a peanut butter and jelly bread line.

Joke #4 The teacher makes the kids take turns combing each others' hair for a grooming session.

Wait a sec... are those... THINKERS?

No no no no no! You made my brain all confused and thinky!

You need to calm down, you overachieving silly billy. You forgot the first rule... NO EFFORT.

Just make the same joke over and over again with slightly different wording. EASY!

Remember the classic final rule of comedy...

Jokes always get funnier the more you repeat them.

Anyway, that's probably enough... joke.

Now let's close this article out!

Maybe we can drop the pretense this is comedic satire and just do some hardcore pandering. Gotta own the Libs, amirite?

Gender theory and drag queens and guns, oh my! That is pure pander-monium.

Just shove those factless tactless Tucker talking points straight down their gullet. They'll forget this was supposed to be funny and shake their fist in the air with exaltation. And it's definitely a great idea to put the thought of gunning down drag queens in their heads. That won't backfire in any way!

Congratulations! You are now ready to "write" for The Babylon Bee.

Please purchase this official Trump NFT certificate for $99 that acknowledges that you have completed this course and have a very poor understanding of what satire actually is.

End of research.

#long post #trigger warning #matt walsh #transphobia #homophobia #satire #babylon bee

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harlowtales · 2 months

Text

Y/N has plans for Jack and his friends at her sleepover and Jack’s game night 🎮 💅🏽

18+ Only - Adult Themes

See Part One: “Girls Night”

All your friends started arriving. Jack’s friends weren’t there yet. The bottles of wine, chocolates, and popcorn came out immediately with cheek to cheek kisses and squeals. Pizza was ordered and you made your famous dip. Jack tried to taste it and you slapped his hand. “Um nope! Get your finger out the dip Jack!” You said.

The event was well underway. The first bottles were popped and glasses of wine poured. Your friends arrived in their pyjamas, cute hairstyles like pig tails, and fuzzy slippers. All 8 of you took over the living room blasting music and dancing while you picked a scary movie.

Jack went into the smaller room to set up for his friends. He already had a headache from the constant chatter and OMGs every 2 seconds coming from the living room. He said you could have the living room to keep the peace but he wasn’t happy about it.

“Bro dafuq??” His friends complained as they filed in.

“I don’t know whether to be pissed they took over our space or really turned on right now.” Phil said bewildered

“Let’s just make the best of it bro, we’re all packed into this tiny fucking room like sardines.” Urban said making a space for himself between 2 other guys.

As the evening wore on the noise from the living room rivalled the video games with screams from the movie and lots of talking giving directions and advice to characters that were dumb enough to go into an abandoned house all alone. Suddenly it got quiet. Real quiet. Jack noticed but was glad for it and didn’t pay it much mind as he was winning playing himself in 2k.

“We need to prank those mfs” your friend Ashley said. I gotta get Urb back for stealing my sandwich the other day.”

“Yeah!!! Let’s make it a night they won’t forget!” Your friend Jennifer said who had dated Sunni, who saw her but made a beeline for the smaller guest room without saying hi.

“Ok ladies…I have a plan.” You said with an evil grin.

“Maya and Jennifer you distract, me and Ashley will execute.” You said as you dished out military style plans to your soldiers. You went to your bedroom to strip down and put your robe on. Maya knocked on the door to the spare room shushing all the other girls to stop giggling and take things seriously. Another girl was waiting to record everything that was about to happen. Ashley was on one side of the door with the eggs and another friend was on the other side with party string and another with flour. The party string and glitter filled balloons were left over from Jack’s birthday last year. More girls were busily blowing a few balloons up that should stick nicely to the eggs, and were waiting with pillows filled with feathers. Everyone was still when Maya knocked on the door.

“Dafuq do they want?” Jack said as he opened the door thinking it was you. “Maya? Whats up?” Jack asked innocently “Does Y/N need me for something?”

“Naw, um Jennifer would like to talk to Sunni.” Maya said with a straight face. Matter fact, we have a treat for all of you if you don’t mind taking a break from those big boring games.” Maya said shooting a flirty look at Phil who gulped hard as Maya was in pyjamas and bouncy pigtails.

Sunni was vehemently shaking his head and mouthing “NO Way!” To Jack who said “Sure, let’s take a break fellas, the girls got something for us.”

You were waiting in the wings and when they all started coming out of the room it was like ambushing squirrels in a barrel. You gave the nod and one by one as they came out they were mercilessly pelted with raw eggs and flour and got tangled up in party string. As they we’re trying to see through the flour caked to their faces you streaked naked right through the chaos to glitter balloons ceremoniously popping and them getting hit hard with pillows.

All off the guys were yelling in confusion and surprise, bumping into one another slipping on the flour, getting their hands all sticky to get eggs yolk out of their hair and eyes, and spitting feathers out of their mouths. There were feathers, glitter, flour, party string, and eggs EVERYWHERE. You in just your robe and your crew of assassins stood there pointing fingers and howling with laughter. It was the ultimate payback.

Jack just stood a complete mess in shock. He had truly underestimated you. A part of him was proud, but among part was pissed not at the mess but you flashing everyone. “Y/N!!!” He yelled “Imma fucking…Imma…Im bout to…” He couldn’t even speak

“Bout to what? You got glitter and eggs up your ass” you howled red in face from laughing so hard.

“Come Y/N give your man some love.” Jack said as he came for you arms open to make a huge mess of you when he caught you.

“No!!! Jack no!!” You squealed as you tried to run and succeed in locking yourself in the bedroom.

“Y/N open the fucking door!” Jack said laughing and banging on the door.

Meanwhile Sunni stood looking at Jenn as she held her sides doubled over in laughter. “You look good enough to eat.” She said

“That was top tier. Wanna give me a kiss?” He said a complete mess as he took a feather off his nose that just landed there.

“Yes I…I do.” Jen said seriously looking at him longingly “Sunni…what happened? You just ghosted me.” She said and moved closer to him.

“Jen I’m so sorry. You know how shy I am. I couldn’t believe a girl like you actually liked me, and I wasn’t sure if you were tryna get close because I roll with Jack.”

“Sunni I literally have had a crush on you since kindergarten. I was invisible to you all this time.” Jennifer said

“For real?!” Sunni exclaimed in disbelief

“Yeah, so wipe that crap off your face and kiss me.” Jennifer said leaning in and they touched lips with Sunni standing far away so as not to mess her up.

“Hey don’t fraternize with the enemy.” Urban said to them while to Phil’s delight his crush Maya was helping to clean him off.

“Ok listen up boys!!” Jack yelled over the chaos “They got us good. Ladies well done.” He said clapping and kicking up flour like dust. “Let’s clean this shit up and go for Indis on me.”

“Y/N baby I need to shower, we all do.” Jack said of him and his friends “open the door I promise I won’t chase you.”

“Ok…you sure?” You said cautiously

“On my mama.” Jack swore

You slowly cracked the door open and saw everything the girls threw at them stuck in his curls, and all over his face and clothes.

“You look amazing. I hear eggs are good for your hair.” You said lovingly. Jack was being such a good sport.

“Why don’t you come give daddy a big hug?” He said and tackled you to the bed before you could run away.

“Jack!!! Fuck off!!” You said laughing now covered in the same mess.

“Oh no, now we both have to shower.” He said with a sly grin. “And don’t ever show my friends your goodies again. I think Shloob almost had to have his eyes surgically put back in his head.

“Even if there’s glitter involved?” You asked

“Especially if there’s glitter involved.” Jack said sternly giving your behind a slap.

@itsyagirljaz @okaaay-mice

#jack harlow #romance #jackman thomas harlow #fanfic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow smut #jack harlow concepts #dramatic #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x reader

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mcondance · 10 months

Text

SHE — OJ HAYWOOD

"she, (she), she lives in daydreams with me, she's the first one that i see"

pairing oj haywood x Black! afab fem!reader

summary oj's stoic demeanor is long gone when he makes love with you.

contents oral (fem receiving), rlly rlly passionate lol, unprotected sex, praise but like.. in a very oj way, belly bulge but make it so fucking romantic, reader and oj are fucking whipped omg, creampie let's go, it's actually insane how in love they are like woah am i interrupting something..? coded language (core, clit), reader has afab! parts but there's no pronouns used

words 1.5k

notes reupload from my old blog. i wrote this in like one day. oj's just my silly little stoic man with a heart of pure gold. pls listen to "she" by harry styles while reading this omg. ignore the lyrics tho cause i only rlly relate the chorus and the sound of the song to this fic and to oj cause it's just one of them songs.

oj’s so good at making love to you.

he’s good from the beginning. good as he grinds against you slowly, kissing you just hard enough to leave you breathless but also wanting more. good when he pulls your shirt off along with his, eyes taking in your lack of a bra. good when he kisses down your body, pulls your shorts and underwear down your legs, leaving kisses on your thighs.

he’s almost reverential with the way he handles you, the definition of passion as he spreads you open for his worshiping eyes, dips right down and licks a stripe up your core. he lets you squirm, knows just how fucked out you get when he goes down on you.

he moves up to focus on your clit, already puffy and aching to be touched. he doesn’t deny you any pleasure, slips his mouth around you clit and sucks, licking with it still in his mouth. your hands find his head to pull him closer and he just lets you, lets you damn near use him.

he doesn’t mind. he never does.

even as your hips begin to move against his tongue, he keeps his movements steady, a low groan of “mhm, that’s right” leaving his mouth, nodding against you and sending waves of honey-like ecstasy through you.

it’s always so maddening, endorphic, borderline insane when he goes down on you, sweet pleasure trickling through your veins until you’re like putty in his hands, hips barely able to continue their rocking motions against his determined tongue. no matter, though, he takes over when it gets to be too much, when your body can’t keep up with what he’s done to you.

soft moans of his name slip past your lips and he knows what you mean, knows all too well that you’re about to reach that precious peak that he’s so willing to throw you off of. fingers join his tongue on your clit, rub in tight circles with the skill of a man you’ve known for years.

he lives for this, for this feeling ordained by the gods above. lives for the way your thighs close around his head, the way your hands try and fail to find purchase in his short curls. he loves making love to you in so many different ways, the knowledge that he’s yours and you’re his, that he is making love to you, makes his mind feel indescribably perfect.

“oj, ‘m gonna—”

“i know, baby. you got it.” it’s a low murmur, paired with another nod and just a little more pressure on your clit with his tongue and fingers. he knows you like the back of his hand. he knows your whines, your whimpers, your short little breaths that he only hears right before you—

“you’re good, baby. give it to me.” and you do. hips roll over and over again against him, meet his dutiful moves against you, send you higher and higher and impossibly higher, until you’re not sure you’ll ever come down. you float like a fucking bird, wings lifted with the air of oj’s masterful, almost adoring, motions. it’s always like this, always so fucking sweet , mind-numbingly so. the saccharine pleasure drips throughout your veins, his soft groans of affirmation drifting to you as you lay suspended in the blissful madness he’s given you.

you come for oj in a way that’s so different, because the way in which he makes love to you is so different. and you love it.

you love it as he slows down to a stop, kisses your shaking thighs and fluttery stomach, making his way up to your softly heaving chest. he continues his pursuit, lifting up until your lips connect, transferring your taste to your lips. any other time, this would be filthy, the sharing of your taste on his tongue. but now, it’s so right, fits in perfectly with the way oj handles you.

your hands make their way to the waistband of his jeans, pull the denim down along with his boxers and he finishes the job for you. you feel him, hard and heavy against your thigh, so turned on from just pleasing you. it’s always a gratifying experience, knowing that it’s you that makes him this way. no matter his exterior— the stoic cowboy, preferring horses over people, chooses his words carefully as though he’d die if he spoke too much— he loves you. you are the tear in his heart, that one thing that breaks down his walls.

and you feel it when he entraps your lips in another kiss as you reach down between you two and line him up with your entrance as he groans at your touch, and he slides in with one smooth stroke, your body always open to him. you both can’t break the kiss for him to do anything other than thrust oh-so softly, movements barely there. but it’s enough, god it’s more than enough, because every touch, every fluttery glide of his hips against yours is like fucking magic, the shared love between you two heightening everything tenfold.

this is how oj makes love to you. face to face, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist as he pushes into you slow and deep, hits every single spot you need him to. he’s calculated with his moves, like he is with everything, hands balancing him above you as his chain bumps your chin with every forward stroke. kisses broken are reciprocated just as quickly, mere milliseconds separating every one.

“you're so good, baby.” it’s genuine, his brain blanked and grasping for words to describe the feeling you always give him. whines meet him in response, you’re too far gone to manage anything else.

this feels almost criminal, the pureness of his love, reflected in his every move, in every kiss he places against your lips. his every thrust is on purpose, is meant to drive you wild, to somehow translate his love for you into something tangible. and it works. you feel it, feel what you know is impossible for him to say.

you don’t speak much, dirty talk reserved for times other than now. now, is just him moving inside you, you pushing down against him. bodies together, lips locked in an almost infinite kiss. and then he shifts just a bit, brushing over that perfect spot. the whine that meets him in response, one from deep in your stomach, tells him all he needs to know.

“there we go.” he drawls, heavy accent making his words that much more insanity-inducing, goosebumps raising up on your heated skin as he directs his gaze to where you connect, eyes falling on the bulge that’s so prominent. “i’m right there, baby. you feel it?” he wears a slight smile, loves making love to you like this.

“feel it, oj. feels so good .” another depraved whine meets his ears, words an abstract to you that you don’t think you’ll ever understand again. his pace is steady, building you up without ever moving past a slow grind. and you’re gonna come again.

“you close, baby?” he asks, knowing how much you love his voice, how you live for how he talks to you when you’re together like this, how even though he doesn’t have to say a word to get you this high, his voice can push you that much higher. you just nod, meet his lips again and moan into his mouth when his fingers meet your clit, rubbing those same brain-numbing circles from earlier. god he’s so good, so fucking good and this is it, you’re gonna come for him once again.

“come on, baby, let me have it.” that’s all you need to hear. the pleasure pooling inside you overflows, spills over the edges of your being as you you’re dunked into it, mouth and nose and entire body filling up with the sweet feeling that oj has once again given to you. his praises float to your ears, a soft murmur of “that’s it, baby, you got it.” breaking through your syrupy delirium, pulling you even farther into what you can only feel as indescribable bliss.

oj’s so close too, streams of shakes moving through his body as you come around him, your back arching into his chest, legs tightening around his waist. his head is tucked into your neck now, placing soft kisses against the skin there. he doesn’t have to say anything, because you know he’s almost there, turning your head to whisper into his ear, your turn to drive him absolutely mad.

“come on, oj, need it, wanna feel you.” it leaves you as a moan, and it’s more than enough to drive him mad, his hips still moving slowly as he lets go just as you did, breath heavy, small groans escaping his mouth that’s still pressed into your neck. you hum as you feel him inside you, warmth filling your body and seeping into your bones. his lips meet yours again, kissing slow and soft, like always. you both don’t intend to move for a while, chests rising and falling in tandem as you soak in the afterglow of love, bodies close enough to fuse. this is your natural state, oj sinking love into your skin just for you to give it right back to him.

this right here.. this is perfection. this is how oj makes love.

#oj haywood smut #oj smut #oj haywoof fic #nope smut #oj haywood x black reader

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ladykailitha · 9 months

Text

Royal Pain Part 11

Hi! It’s been a rough week and I burned up my backlog. This is the last finished chapter I have left and with the busy weekend I had with my sister and getting a migraine yesterday and today...I don’t if I’ll have anything ready for Thursday.

Also since I finished Roads, I have leaned more into The Boy With a Bat Book 2. I’ve completely overhauled chapter two because I rushed from the play (which was in March) and jumped straight to June and meeting the lovely Robin. But I realized that I could draw that out more. Build up the relationship between Eddie and Steve more. Play on Eddie’s friends clashing with the “Let’s Pick on Steve” style of love from the Monster Hunter gang up a bit.

I’ll also put up a poll to see what other stories you guys might be interested in seeing me do next.

But on to Erica, Chrissy and Argyle’s first day. Still no Eddie, but don’t worry, he’s not forgotten, the dinner ‘date’ is next.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

***

Chrissy and Argyle turned up for work the next morning and Steve was vibrating with excitement.

“Hi, guys!” he greeted them cheerfully. “This is Erica Sinclair. She’s going to being doing henna for our clients this summer as a bit of summer special to get more causal clients through the door.”

“Totally rad!” Argyle said with a thumbs up. Steve was pleased to note that his eyes were clear and the faint aroma of weed was gone.

Chrissy just nodded.

Steve turned around and grabbed a couple of oranges from the fruit basket. He tossed one to Chrissy and one to Argyle.

“Until I can get the synthetic skin in, this will have to do,” he explained. “I want to you tattoo something simple into the rind of the fruit. Get creative. Have fun.” He looked at his watch. “You each have a room with a chair set up with everything you’ll need. Don’t do colors yet. I just want to get a feel for how you work. You’ll have one hour.”

Steve watched Chrissy first she had a deft and steady hand. She did a gynandromorphic butterfly. The right wing only had basic stripes of a female butterfly and the left wing had the spots and showy patterns of a male butterfly.

It was an interesting choice. He left her to finish up the left wing as he wandered over to Argyle’s room.

He started on a surfboard. He was bent over the fruit with an intensity that lacked in the man’s usual demeanor. His long hair covered most of what he was doing but Steve could see it was a well-thought out piece.

He waved at Argyle to get his attention. Argyle looked up with a big smile. “Hey, dude!”

“You’ve got a really good head for design,” Steve told him. “You fill the space without making it look crowded.”

Argyle’s smile turned into a grin. “Thanks!”

“Since you’re almost done, can I talk to you about something really quick?” Steve asked.

“This is about the weed, huh?”

Steve nodded. “I don’t care what you do in your off hours. Just don’t bring it to work, get caught with it on your person, or come to work baked. You’re are an amazing artist and I would really like to keep you.”

Argyle nodded. “The big meetup was a bit of an accident. I forgot to account for inhaling my roommate’s blunt on top of my morning hit and was still a little too toasty.”

Steve nodded. “Fair enough. This is one job that takes care and precision and since we’re doing permanent work on people. Messing up is little more...”

“Heinous?” Argyle asked, cocking his head to the side.

Steve burst out laughing. “Yeah, that! As long as you follow those three things, you and I are good.”

“You don’t care I smoke weed?” Argyle asked curiously.

Steve shook his head. “It’s fine. I just can’t have it here, I’ve worked to hard for everything to go up in smoke.”

Argyle nodded sagely. “I will abstain while I’m working for you, dude. I wouldn’t want to hurt you in that way.”

“You don’t have to completely abstain,” Steve assured him. “Just not on days you have to come in.”

Argyle gave him a thumbs up. Steve looked at his watch. “You’ve got about enough time to finish that up and the hour will be done. Come back out when your done.”

He stopped to check in on Erica. He peaked his head in her room where she was testing out the different colored henna on herself. She was doing a pretty lotus pattern on her left hand with the different dyes.

“You really do have a steady hand,” he said as he strolled up to her.

She grinned up at him. “Thanks! The darker the red is, the harder it is to show up on my hand. See?” She held up her hand so he could get a better look at it.

“Yeah. Does the dye have to be red?” he asked.

She nodded. “Real henna starts off bright orange and darkens over time. There are other dyes that can be used for henna, but it’s not from the plant of the same name.”

Steve nodded. “I got you the paste stuff, but I can get you other kinds if you would prefer that.”

“That’s fine for now,” Erica said. “The powder isn’t shelf stable and can go bad. If I decide to do it full time, I’ll think about going to the powder, but this will work.”

Steve nodded. “Wanna come see what Chrissy and Argyle did for their first tattoos?”

Erica grinned and immediately jumped to her feet and followed him out to the reception area.

Argyle and Chrissy were leaning up against counter chatting with Robin.

“Hey, guys!” Steve greeted. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Argyle and Chrissy turned, throwing both of their oranges at him at the same time.

Steve caught them both which raised eyebrows.

“Dude!” Argyle said. “That was wicked.”

“Shit,” Chrissy said with a giggle. “I forgot you were on the baseball team, too.”

“You were on the baseball team?” Argyle asked.

“In high school,” Steve said with a shrug. “And the basketball team and the swim team.”

“Wow.”

Steve chuckled. “It was so my parents could pay to have someone else watch me instead of doing it themselves. But I had fun. I was captain of the basketball team and co-captain of the boys swim team.”

“You have depths, bro,” Argyle said. “That’s so cool.”

Steve blushed. “Thanks.” He handed one of the oranges to Erica. “Hold this, please.”

She rolled her eyes but wisely said nothing.

He looked at the orange in his hand and saw it was Chrissy’s. “I guess will start with this one.”

Chrissy grinned at him.

“It’s a good design,” he told her. “It’s unique. The lines are strong without being too thick.” He peeled the orange and looked at the rind. “Right, okay, so they go deeper in some spots and not as deep in others. So you’ll need to work on consistency.”

She nodded. “I didn’t even realize I was doing it. That’s a neat trick.”

Steve smiled at her and tossed the orange back to her. She sat down with it and studied where she had gone wrong with it. He took the other orange from Erica.

“This was your first time with a tattoo gun, right?”

Argyle nodded. “Thanks for setting it up for me. It was bit different from the stick and poke my nana taught me.”

“You were taught how to do the stick and poke style?” Steve asked. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Stick and poke done by amateurs was dangerous but knowing that he had been taught to do it put him at ease.

Argyle nodded.

“If you want, I can get you a proper set,” Steve said. “If that would make you more comfortable.”

Argyle lit up. “I have my own set my nana gave me, I can bring that by and have you take a look. But I wanna learn how to use a gun, too.”

“That would be great,” Steve agreed. “Bring them tomorrow, I’d love to take a look.”

Argyle beamed at him.

Steve lifted up Argyle orange. “The style is good. The lines are clean.” He peeled the orange and winced. “It’s a bit too deep.” He tossed it to Argyle for him to take a look.

Argyle stumbled with it and it fell to the floor. He picked up with a grimace. He looked at the orange and winced too. “Way too deep. I tattooed the orange and not just the rind.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “I think it’s because with the stick and poke method it’s easier to see how deep the needle goes and with a gun it’s all about pressure.”

Argyle nodded. “That makes sense. Looks like I’m buying a lot of fruit in the next couple of days.”

Robin chuckled. “At least you can claim it on your taxes.”

Argyle’s eyes went wide and he smiled broadly. “I didn’t think of that, that’s awesome!”

Chrissy giggled. “It’s great doing something like tattooing for a living because you can claim all sorts of things as tax write offs. Took your best friend out to dinner, talked about tattoos? Business meeting. Bought new ink that looked pretty, and you might not ever use it, but you don’t know that, business expense. It’s great.”

Argyle looked as though his mind had been completely blown.

“You won’t need a lot of fruit anyway,” Steve said. “I’m getting synthetic skin in later this week so you learn about how different colors appear on different skin tones. It’s important to learn because one yellow might look good on a person, but not the next.”

“I’m having our friend Will do up binders for you two,” Robin said, holding up Steve’s three-ring binder that had his portfolio in it. “So that we can start getting you clients, too.”

Steve nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. “That won’t be until the end of the summer. So in the mean time, we’ll be building up your tattoo skills and to talk to clients. Then probably after the 4th of July, we’ll start you off with the smaller and simpler tattoos, get a good foundation in.”

They both nodded.

He turned to Erica. “I’ve already started advertising your henna. So if you have pics of some of the work you did for your friends get them to Will so we can display them.”

She saluted. “Roger that!”

“Also I’ve been looking into it,” he continued, “would you be willing to do henna nights for bridal parties?”

Erica wrinkled her nose in thought. “I don’t think I can. That’s a lot of work and it has to set overnight, I’m good, but not that good.”

Steve nodded. “Fair enough. That’s why I asked first, I knew Robin would get calls about it and now she has a firm answer to give.”

Robin nodded.

Steve blushed and ducked his head. “I had this idea and it sounds stupid in my head, but...”

“I think it’s cool,” Robin said sticking her tongue out at him.

Chrissy cocked her head. “What’s the idea?”

“I thought we could lean more into royal theme a bit,” Steve muttered to his feet, “go by nicknames,”

Argyle blinked at him a moment. “Like what?”

“Lady, Marquis, Duchess, Stewart...” he mumbled.

Robin grinned manically. “Go on tell them what your name would be.”

“King.”

Chrissy cackled. “That would be perfect!”

Argyle just stared him blankly. “Wha’?”

“You see,” Robin began, “the reason for name, the decor, everything is based off a nickname from high school. King Steve.”

“Who was a massive asshole, by the way,” Chrissy said with a wink.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Until my senior year when I realized I didn’t want to conform to what my parents wanted me to be and gladly handed the crown to the next poor schmuck.”

“But when we were looking for a name for the new shop...” Robin said in a sing-song voice.

“It just made sense, a royal pain?” Steve said. “That’s me to a tee. So I kinda leaned into the whole vibe.”

“So you want to lean into that a little further?” Erica asked. “Because I am so claiming Lady. Not sure if I want to do Lady Applejack or Lady E. Because just Lady is the name of a dog and I ain’t into that shit.”

Chrissy laughed. “I’ll happily take just Duchess because while it can be a dog, it’s also the name of several kickass characters.”

“Oohh...” Argyle said. “I could be the Marquis de Carabas! I named myself after a fairy tale!”

Steve frowned in confusion. “What now?”

Argyle bounced in excitement. “It’s from the book, ‘Neverwhere’ by Neil Gaiman. It’s so rad. It’s about this dude who finds himself in a London that is weirder and wilder then the one you see. One of the bros he meets is the Marquis who has this wicked black coat. But he got his name from the fairy tale Puss in Boots. But not like the Shrek one.”

Steve blinked. “Yeah sure. It’ll be a work in progress to be honest. And I won’t start it immediately. Just an idea to float out there.”

They all nodded. Steve smiled at them. This was a going to be the most fun he’s had in a long time and he gets to share it with all of them. And he had Eddie to thank for it all.

He couldn’t wait until tonight.

***

Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

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