#it’s been TOO hot

[fruitface]

"You know you didn't have to start like a whole fight club just to date me."

#bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #bottomsedit #bottoms spoilers #filmedit #moviegifs #wlwedit #wlwgif #josie x isabel #josiebel #josabel #havana rose liu #ayo edebiri #* #she been eyeing josie from the beginning please #that little hat tip worked #the hot girl i pulled from being a loser #josie a hero to many loser lesbians #played too much with the sat on my prev post never again

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[english-history-trip]

Ever see a depiction of St. George and the Dragon? It's pretty fair to say if you've seen one, you've seen them all: Georgie on a horse stabbing a flailing dragon creature, princess piously kneeling in the background, vague landscape alluding to the homeland of the artist's patron.

The most varied part is the dragons. No one had a real definition for the thing, it seemed. For your pleasure and entertainment, I have ranked some medieval depictions based on how impressive George's feat seems once you see the dragon.

Paolo Uccello, 1456

This is a terrifying beast. The hell is that. Uccello was one of the first experimenters with perspective, so the thing also looks surreal, like it's taking place on Mars, or a Windows 95 screensaver. I would not want to fight that, I would not want to be tied to that. (Sometimes the princess is tied to the dragon for some reason.) 10/10

Horse thoughts: Maybe if I look at the ground it will be gone when I look up

Unknown artist, c. 1505

This is a rare change of form for the dragon; it's the only one I've seen actually flying (or at least falling with style). It doesn't look particularly deterred by the spear through its throat, either. Also, George looks appropriately nervous. On the other hand, it hasn't got teeth, it seems to be fuzzy rather than having scaly armor, and George is bolstered by his army of Henry VII and his children, most of whom definitely didn't actually die in infancy. Still, wouldn't want to fight it, wouldn't want my pet sheep near it. (Sometimes the princess has a pet sheep for some reason.) 9/10

Horse thoughts: I am so glad I wore my mightiest feather helmet for this

Raphael, 1505

We are coming to Dragons With Problems. This guy looks about comparable in size to George, and does have wings, but doesn't seem to be using these things to his advantage (and has he only got one wing?) And how does he deal with the neck? He does have a comically small head, but holding it up with such a twisty neck seems complicated at best. But most egregiously, he is doing the shitty superheroine pose where he is somehow simultaneously showcasing his chest and his butt, with its unnecessarily defined butthole (more on this later) (regrettably). 8/10 bc it's Raphael

Horse thoughts: AM I THE BESTEST BOI? AM I DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB? WE R DRAGON SLAYING BUDDIEZ

The Beauchamp Hours, c. 1401

We had a spirited debate about this one at work. Again, the dragon has gotten smaller, and this one hasn't got even one wing. He's basically a crocodile. So the debate became: would you want to fight a crocodile if you had a horse and a pointy stick? Would the horse trample the animal, who can't get on its hind legs, or freak out and throw its rider? Would the pointy stick be enough to pierce the croc's thick hide? In this case, George seems to be controlling his horse and putting his pointy stick in the dragon's weak spot, so we can be impressed by his skill and strategy. However, his hat is dumb. 7/10

Horse thoughts: Dehhhh

Book of Hours, c. 1480

Here we have the same kind of croco-dragon, but George's focus on his strategy has gone out the window. He's flailing around, not even looking at his target, he's about to lose his pointy stick, he hasn't got a hand on the reins, and his sword seems to only be poking the invisible dragon over his shoulder. All he's got going for him is that his hat is slightly less dumb. 6/10

Horse thoughts: Yay, new friend! Come play with me, new fr- what is happening

Final dragons put behind this Read More for your safety:

Rogier van der Weyden, c. 1432

I'm thinking this guy is at least semi-aquatic. Webbed feet, wings that seem more like fins, bipedal but top-heavy, jaws that seem more for scooping than biting. Maybe she's crawled up here from the nearby body of water to lay her eggs, and this is all a big misunderstanding. Moreover, George's dagged sleeves seem entirely impractical for the situation. 5/10

Horse thoughts: i got my hed stuk in a jar and now it is this way forever

Unknown artist, c. 15th century

I hate this. I hate everything about it. Why has it got human eyes and teeth. Why is its nose melting. Why has it got a dick on its face and balls under its chin. The fin/wings are back but they look even more useless. Also, George is shifty as hell, schlumped over in his saddle with his bowler hat thing over his eyes. The baby dragon at the bottom eating some hapless would-be rescuer is kind of metal. 4/10 at least the thing is gonna die

Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Crack

Book of Hours, c. 1450

Remember what I said about the buttholes? First, sorry. Second, yeah, we're back to that. I'll admit this one is less about the danger from the dragon itself than the very specific choices the artist has made. They didn't need to do that. It's a lizard. They don't even have. And it's like they had an orifice budget and they skipped an exit wound for the spear to focus. Elsewhere. It's so detailed. And George had an even dumber hat. 2/10 take it away

Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Weed

Book of Hours, c. 1415

This is just bullying. There isn't even a princess. That is clearly an infant. Look at that smug look on George's face as he swings his sword that's bigger than the whole little guy. This is the equivalent of when DJT Jr. hunted those sleeping endangered sheep. 1/10

Horse thoughts: ....yikes

And this is the previous one, but now the baby dragon is cute. He's chubby. He's got toe beans. He's Puff the Magic Dragon. His eyes have already gone white, implying that George is just kicking its corpse around for funsies. What's the difference between the dragon and the lamb in the background? That the dragon is dead, like our innocence. This George is truly deserving of the dumbest hat of all. 0/10 plus one more butthole for the road

Horse thoughts: Perhaps it is we who are the buttholes.

#art history #nonsense #hot takes #I am doing a St. George painting and have been wading through reference material #manuscript #fuck me I didn't notice van der Weyden managed to sneak a butthole in his too #the definitive list #when knighthood was in flower

[payasita]

kill

original post

#cult of the lamb #cotl #doodles #eyestrain #damn i missed doing Way Too Many Colors #that may be the sugar talking. work has been plying me with free hot chocolate #its doing bad things to my body and sleep. 10/10

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have a Scene - a Plot if you will - that backs this as context. y'all are gonna have to trust me on this one <3 or read the tags...

#the song is 'in your eyes' by peter gabriel #boombox serenade lets GO!!! #in my mind immediately after this the others came over to say hi (or in sallys case tell him off) #and at first howdy's like 'oh ofc wallys there that makes sense. sally too? strange but alright' #then eddie appears and ohhhh boy its Jealousy Central Babey and howdy's train just pulled into the station #scribble salad #laughingstock #welcome home #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #OK CONTEXT I PROMISED CONTEXT #so in my mind howdy is an oblivious dumbass when it comes to his own romantic feelings. #he's so in love with barnaby (its very obvious) but Doesnt Realize It. despite being a god tier flirty fruity motherfucker #so when barnaby - thinking theyre on the same page - confesses #howdy's all like 'ohhh um. gee barn im flattered truly but - i just dont like you like that' #yk breaking barnaby's heart right down the middle #so barnaby shuts himself in his home and wally is hovering. yk Worried #and eddie - who's been helping barnaby come to terms w/ his own feelings & gauge if howdy feels the same - asks sally to check in for him #& sally goes over and Immediately involves herself. she takes personal offense on barnaby's behalf #also she lives for the drama and wants every juice detail Hot Off The Press #so while howdy is having a lil crisis as he slowly realizes Oh My Fucking God I DO Love Barnaby Like That- #barnaby / sally / wally / (eventually) eddie are all having a sleepover where they just play card games and chat #a good ol bitch n' stitch night #and howdy shows up to try and talk to barns (obvs in my head he doesnt have a boombox he just Knocks) #only to get RE-RE-RE-REJECTEDDDDDD!!!! thats how it feels you wormy mf! #bc barnaby is a) having a girls night & b) needs to emotionally prepare for That conversation #aaaaand THATS the context <3

[raepliica]

photosynthesizing🔆

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #raepliica_art #they get to have some mornings where they dont need to get up in a rush #snoozing in the sun at dawn when its not too hot yet #warming up after spending the cold night cuddled up together to conserve body heat #and they lay in comfortable silence as they start drifting off to sleep again lulled by each others slow breathing #...orz #its been cold these days so i wanted to draw smth warm

[cherrytraveller]

yeah yeah angst potential whatever but what about Present & Future Leo bonding huh gotta do everything myself around here–

Twitter || Ko-fi || Instagram

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt movie #rottmt leo #future leo #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #hamato leonardo #digital sketch #fanart #digital art #doodle #clip studio paint #travellerdraws #havent been here in a hot minute #im familiarising myslef with twitter these days #and also i am. knee deep in tmnt brainrot #im literally watching all of tmnt03 rn #i gotta post my 03 art here too soon but enjoy thsi for now

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate #my art #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji fanart #black butler #black butler fanart #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush??? #it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes #oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful #back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again #i haven't in a while #if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there #and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr #and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute #enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece

[a2zillustration]

Gale and I had the exact same reaction when we opened that door.

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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#this puzzle took me way too long bc I knew the answer but for some reason my brain thought the king could move in new and mysterious ways #It's been a hot minute since I've played chess and I was never very good at it lmao #It's canon that Croissant knows how to move the pieces but doesn't know any proper strategies #They would love for Gale to play with them and teach them more #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #act III spoilers #ansur quest #REMEMBER WHEN I SAID BLOCK THAT TAG IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE THIS YET? #THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING BEFORE THE BIG SPOILERS HAPPEN #croissant adventures #tav #gale #gale dekarios #gale x tav #breadweave #comics #WAIT I FORGOT there's gonna be a quick break in comics rn - I'll try to fill the gap with asks and other artwork #we'll be back on schedule on Monday!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

We could have had it all...

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #oh man....the NieYao dynamic....All these complex emotions and ties to each other and they *aren't* canon? #Sorry fellas but the way you proposed writing your bro a letter of recommendation & agreeing to it was very fruity. #And *then* Lan Xichen shows up. And both JGY and NMJ are head over heels for him and have been for ages apparently. #Its like they found out that LXC had been two timing them this whole time and their response was: “UM. HOT?” #I'm tempted to redraw these three as that one bisexual-core image with Anne Hathaway. You know the one. It fits. #It's strange seeing all of this fondness in retrospect compared to the betrayal you feel in The Untamed after a longer build up. #Initially it felt like 'oops we made him a little too 2 dimensional as a villain - quick make him more sympathetic'. #JGY even had a scene with him kissing babies. As any politician would do to improve their image. #but it does come around to really showing a more authentic JGY and the tension between him and NMJ. #As an angst lover I am personally all for 'what could have been' relationships and they DO have it all.

[philonob]

Overwhelmed.

#Not been doing too hot lately idk #mental health has been in shambles + got Very Bad News yesterday so yeah #it be like that ig but man I'd wish to have break #vent art #sketch #nudity //// ig

[tomatoart]

wait getting ur ass beat is an adhd trait ?!

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #scout tf2 #pyro tf2 #scout #pyro #ignore how bad these look im posting older art bc i havent been feeling too hot lately #im having major depth perception issues lately but the eye docs ddint think so WEIRD and SUS ! or something *bats eyes* ok #i think id change how i draw him a bit next time but its fine yknow YOU KNOW ?. #also trans bi truther to me. also i wanted to draw snipe too bc the threee of them r besties to me but i couldnt get it right NEXT TIME

[ashmcgivern]

A Draconified King

#zelda #wind waker #tears of the kingdom #totk #legend of zelda #king of red lions #dragon #art #illustration #asharts #YEAAAA BAEBEE IVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE #This idea came to me in a flash of genius #im very proud of it #and I couldnt help myself I LOVE WIND WAKER #the background gave me trouble ugh #im not good at backgrounds really #maybe I used to be better but jeez #these days im rusty #and I wasnt planning on a BG but I liked it so much #and I was going to make it super simple but then I made the dragon TOO DETAILED #and so I had to circle back on the bg and do SOMETHING to it #maybe someday ill get better at this #but yeah!!!!

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?'' #and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3'' #and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to'' #only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out'' #Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.'' #''this has been so bad for my health'' #Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested. #Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him'' #Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him. #and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it. #he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure'' #nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards. #which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

Today and every day going forth, you WILL be nice to trans women, or else every threat on this blog comes true for you.

#TRANS WOMEN ARE COOL #I LOVE TRANS WOMEN #YEAH #trans men too but it's trans women who have been targeted recently so i am emphasizing them #(if you're going to say that i must not mean it because i'm still on this website. I never give them money and i use an adblocker.) #tumblr has the worst ceo it's ever had and hot damn that's saying something considering how tumblr management has been in the past

[stardustedknuckles]

It's 2023 can we please figure out that asexuality isn't synonymous with sex repulsion already. Lack of attraction and lack of libido are not the same thing, aces can be "hell yes" about sex itself, and a lack of "hell yes" is not the same as active repulsion. I'm not a big movie watcher, but if someone I care about wants to share a movie with me I'll do it for them and very likely enjoy myself even if it doesn't turn me into someone who actively likes movies. It's not difficult.

#Also were still not stupid babies but that stereotype has at least been getting pushed back for a while #Asexuality #But way too many people are still comfortable assuming ace means repulsed #I don't have to be attracted to a person to enjoy bumping uglies with them as bros #Asexual #I don't know what hot means I just know there are people I trust and vibe with and if you want we can do sex about it