#it's just nice. i do like more serious stories sometimes but with magical girls people think it has to be Super Edgy with less autonomy

[weepingflowerbonkcop]

I'm trying to finish these headcannons before moving on. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions about the headcannons. Enjoy reading!

Warnings: Wild being Wild, nothing else.

What the Chain thinks about a Modern! Reader using slang/meme references:

Part 2

Sky

• Sky has some basic education for Skyloft. I'd say he finished high school standards for them, but elementary in our standards. He's still pretty smart but just doesn't show it as much as Four does.

• Sky didn't know what to think of when he first heard modern slang.

• He's one of those people that pretend like they know what you're talking about. Reader would be talking casually and Sky would nod his head, listening intently even if he really doesn't understand.

• He likes it when reader goes to talk to him, but sometimes he'd like subtitles to exist.

• He goes to Four and Wind whenever he doesn't understand a word, hoping that they'd be able to give him some indication/translation of it.

• Memes on the other hand - he's actually pretty good at understanding them. He might not find all of them funny but he does manage to catch what they're about.

• He's that person that hears a joke and goes into a full detailed interrogation of the joke. Something like, "Yeah nah, the bro took his cuzy out to the pub. After he met this nice sheela and got a nice rootin' only to find out the day after it was no sheela." Him not knowing what's going on just goes, "So, you've told me before that a 'she - lah' is a girl, yes? And you've also said a 'bro' is a shorter term for brother. So, what does 'cuzy' mean and what does the root have to do with the story?"

• After you do a break down of the slang he just lights up with a 'ooh' and does a little giggle to himself.

• It's cute but ruins a good story when you have to go into another full explanation of said story.

• He's also an 8/10 at least he'll laugh at memes even if he doesn't find them funny.

Wild

• Thinking about him losing his memories some of his schooling had also been lost since his resurrection.

• I believe Wild is the most adaptable of the Heroes. He had to be adaptable out in the wild in order to survive.

• So, he'd be the quickest - next to Wind - to catch Modern! Reader's slang.

• He would also interpret it into his own day to day talking. His Hyrule is more flexible in my opinion to different ways and languages than other Hyrules.

• Him along with Wind and Four are your main translators to the others. So, when someone is in doubt they run to Wild to ask about a certain word or abbreviation then run back to reader and continue the conversation.

• However, Wild does radiate chaotic energy and sometimes whenever the others try to learn, he'd casually tell them the complete opposite of what it means for shits and giggles. An example, "Wild, what does 'Yo - lo' mean?" "You only lick once." The person would thank him and run back to you, "Indeed only one lick." "What the -"

• This annoys the living daylights out of Twilight, Time, Warriors, First, Calamity - basically all the serious Links.

• Wild appreciates memes from Modern! Reader's world. In fact he sometimes tries to recreate them with readers guidance.

• Other times he would try and create an entirely new genre of meme little does he know he already is with some of his really cursed selfies on his Sheikah Slate.

• Overall 10/10 best boy cause he gets it and screws with people that don't.

Hyrule

• In my honest opinion I don't think this boy had any type of schooling. Most of the things he knows comes from pure experience. He might've been taught more about magic, curses and things more related to the fae since he was raised by them, but no school system like ours.

• Hyrule much like Twilight thought it was just an accent rather than the modern day and age talk when he first heard it.

• Someone had to sit him down though to tell him it's not.

• Hyrule learns from Wild about the terms and their meanings as Wild starts using them more frequently in his own speech. So, Hyrule starts picking up that habit as well and sooner or later you got two four in actuality people talking like anyone from your world!

• I believe he would purposefully go to Legend and start telling him some of the slang that he's learned through either you or some of the others. It's similar to a kid running up to their parent to show them a picture that they drew. Legend actually appreciates this and finds it cute but wouldn't admit it.

• He does surprisingly catch on to memes quick.

• His brain works in mysterious ways as well so he'd instantly understand Modern! Reader's references.

• He does go and have little back and forths with Wind when referencing memes that reader uses the most. It's turns into a challenge between Hyrule, Wild, Wind and Four of who is right with Modern! Reader as the referee.

• He genuinely believes its interesting to hear how different the people in Modern! Reader's world talk in comparison to any of their Hyrules.

• Overall he's an 8/10.

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #linkeduniverse #modern au #linked universe sky #linked universe wild #linked universe hyrule #isekai

[jesncin]

please do tell about why woman of tomorrow sucks i love reading your takes they’re always so well written

Sure! And thank you for throwing me this bone because WOOF

(btw it's totally fine for people to like Woman of Tomorrow, and I can even see why! This is just my experience with it that I wish was talked about more)

Quick context: Woman of Tomorrow is about a space farmgirl named Ruthye who seeks revenge on Krem, a guy who killed her dad. Supergirl guides her on this journey so they can learn lessons about grief and revenge.

The biggest flaw of the comic is the narrative prose. Ruthye's dialogue is a rambly, over-indulgent, stylized mix of an attempt at medieval Shakespearian speak, but then in the last few issues the writer remembers she's a farmgirl so he decides she should suddenly say "ain't" more often and speak in double negatives to sound a bit more Southern. I can enjoy wordy comics! But Ruthye's dialogue and narration is blatantly excessive purple prose. So many scenes would hit harder with a less-is-more approach while still being stylized and characteristic. Sometimes the narrations pairs nicely with the art to create layered irony, but most of the time it feels like it's disregarding the comics medium altogether.

The other thing about Ruthye's narration is that it holds the story back. I get that the narration is Ruthye writing from the future, but the way it's done gives us a very passive relationship with the events of the story. We don't get to be with the characters in the action heavy moments because we're reading caption boxes of Future Ruthye rambling about poetry recounting The Battle of Capes. I'm not experiencing grief or dread with the characters, I'm being told about it. All of Ruthye's narrative rants boil down to "Supergirl is really badass, sad and kind. I promise this is deep." and "here's how my farm girl experience is relevant to this". Ruthye also speaks in glowing admiration, idealization and worship of Supergirl; it makes it really hard to get to know Kara in a humanizing way. I'm sure the purple prose hits differently for others, but I personally think the story would have more room to breathe without it.

You know how people like saying "Superman is boring because everything is too easy for him, he's too powerful" yeah that's Woman of Tomorrow. The conflict Kara faces are not challenges to her character, they're inconveniences. The resolutions to each story don't feel clever or earned. Kara just knows where to find the murdered purple aliens, Kara just happens to have a silver age-reference magical horse that can outrun the suffering-ball Krem throws at her, Kara just toughs out 10 hours in the green sun. Why be a smart storyteller when you can just give your heroine the upper hand every single time? There could've been a great bonding moment where Ruthye uses her famer-smarts to build shade for Kara, she could've crafted a salve to protect Kara's skin. But I guess having her guard Kara from dinosaurs is ok. Kara helps of course, even though she's dying because she's so cool, badass, sad, kind, etc.

Kara's internal conflict is that she was hoping that taking Ruthye on this journey would teach the farmgirl a lesson about revenge, but has Kara herself learned to move on? She's still thinking about Krypton after all. The problem with how this is presented is that it's not a flaw that we get to see evolve with the story. We see Kara act mopey, get an origin story flashback and then Kara tells us this- in hopes it'll recontextualize everything you've read before. By the time we make it to the end, the characters act like they've learned so much and I'm just standing here wishing I got to see all this growth they're talking about.

At the heart of it, I feel like Woman of Tomorrow represents the side of Super-fandom that wants to see the Kryptonians deified by the narrative. They hate seeing Kara do silly girly rom-com teenager things, she needs to be SERIOUS and EDGY and SAD and ALONE but like a god would be and not how a young woman would be that way. How else will boys take her seriously? Don't forget to remind the reader that she's STRONGER than her boy scout wholesome cousin! There's potential in a short revenge story about young girls finding hope in seeing a role-model woman survive loss, but not like this.

"You don't think I could've solved all those problems? C'mon I'm Supergirl." I sure love seeing female characters be badass girl-god legends who don't get to be humanized by being unflatteringly flawed people. Anyway the better Supergirl grief+revenge story is "Supergirl: Being Super". I don't think it's perfect because it misses the crucial difference between Kal and Kara among other things- but as a story about a teenage heroine learning how grief shapes her and those around her, it's way better.

Woman of Tomorrow's art is stellar though lmao would get a copy just as an artbook to reference.

#askjesncin #woman of tomorrow #jesncin dc meta #media criticism #there's a whole Ruthye rant where she talks about how superfam stories aren't pointless because they'll meet opponents stronger than them #and then the story proceeds to show supergirl defeating genocide pirates no biggie with help from horse #all she had to do was fight harder

[elisysd]

Tolerate It – Taylor Swift

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

Trigger warning: toxic relationship / mention of revenge porn and eating disorder.

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

Five years ago – Vancouver

Lyanna looks everywhere, trying to register every single detail her gaze feal upon. It’s her first day on the set of Fire and Blood. She’s already met her castmates and rehearsed with them but being here, with all the lights and cameras, all the people working behind the scenes to make the magic happen: it amazes her. She is like a kid in stores around Christmas time.

Playing Laura Emmet, a young girl who is supposed to be human but has a few special abilities, is going to be her big break she can feel it. She is so excited to start filming.

Fast forward to four months later and it’s a wrap on season one of Fire and Blood. All the cast members as well as the directors and some people from the team are in a nice restaurant to celebrate. They all laugh together and it’s overall like a big family. Lyanna is talking and joking with Amy Holland who plays her best friend in the series and James Barton wo plays her love interest. She has a crush on him, ever since they met when they had their chemistry test during the auditioning process.  She is a little tipsy but not enough to make the first move. Amy, who knows perfectly what is going on in her friend’s head, pulls her aside.

“Come on girl, just go for it! You’re so obvious.”

“Well not enough apparently, he didn’t try anything. Maybe he is just not interested.”

“You won’t know if you don’t try!”

And indeed she tries.

Fire and Blood is a tremendous success. Beyond what could have been expected. Lyanna and James quickly become Hollywood’s new favorite couple. They are so in love it’s sickening. They are this couple who loves posting pictures of each other, who are doing everything together all the time and for a lot of people, they are the physical embodiment of soulmates. Everyone is sure they are endgame. And Lyanna thinks so too. She is eighteen, James is twenty. He is most of her first times. First serious relationship, first time, first person she wants to call when something good or bad happens to her. He quicky became her whole world to the point she isolated herself from her friends and family. Everything revolves around James.

She loves waking up in the morning with him by her side. She loves going to work with him. Working on season two of Fire and Blood is a lot of pressure. The expectations are high but Lyanna doesn’t care, she has her boyfriend, the love of er life by her side. Nothing can go wrong. They are dating for almost a year now and nothing has changed, they love each other just like the first day. At least, that’s wat she feels. She noticed some slight changes in James’ behavior: like he gets jealous more often, especially since she seems to get more attention from the fans and the media and sometimes, he feels left out. But Lyanna still thinks it’s cute: his jealousy. It shows that he cares for her.  

They are celebrating the wrap up of Fire and Blood season 2 in the same restaurant where they did or the first season. But the atmosphere is not the same. Lyanna got a big proposition to be the new face of Dior. She was so excited to announce it to James. But unfortunately his enthusiasm doesn’t match hers. They are fighting outside the restaurant and Lyanna is crying. She doesn’t understand.

“You do realise that this means that you are going to attend a lot of events with them and for them. And did you think about me? About our relationship? You should have told me.”

“That’s what I’m doing, James…”

“No. You’re informing me. You’ve already made up your mind. And that’s fucking selfish. You are throwing away a year and a half of our relationship. And for what? To play the Barbie to a fucking luxury brand?”

“It’s an amazing opportunity James.”

“You know what else is an opportunity, Lyanna? Me going to see other girls. They are a lot of them tonight. Why should I stay with you when at the first chance you get you leave me. I can do the same. Many girls are throwing themselves at me and because I love you and respect you, I always refuse. But why should I, hum, when you are acting selfish?”

She ended up turning down Dior. She loves James more than a stupid contract. She doesn’t want to lose him. To avoid the history repeating itself like its fateful night, now every single thing she wants to do, she asks him first. Because in her mind that’s what a good girlfriend is supposed to do. And just like that she is isolating herself even more, to the point where even her family has a hard time reaching her. They tried to warn her about James, that the relationship wasn’t healthy, that she should leave him. They are scared for her. But Lyanna loves him too much. Her family doesn’t know him like she does, they have no right to judge him. So she started to answer their phone calls less and less.

3 years ago – London

They bought an apartment in London. In fact, it’s James that bought it for them. It was a big step in the relationship but since they were already together pretty much every day, all day, it just make things official. She is almost twenty one and she is still so in love. But lately she noticed that James is drifting away. One day she saw the models that he was liking on Instagram and wen she confronted him about it, he simply said:

“Yeah well, I like the way they look. It doesn’t mean anything. If you feel insecure because of that that’s not my problem Lyanna.”

She was naïve and she desperately wanted to have his attention. Just like it was at the beginning when he could not keep his hands to himself around her and was whispering sweet nothings in her ear every chances he got. So she started to exercise more and eat less. A few months later she was only a shell of what she used to be.

And still it was not enough.

The final blow came a late September. She was out to meet her agent who wanted to have a very boring talk about her salary expectations for the season three of Fire and Blood. She was going to have a raise. It made her happy but her part of her was dreading to announce it to James, not knowing how he would react to her now being paid more than him.

But nothing could have prepared her to what she saw when she stepped inside their shared appartement. When she opens the door, what immediately hits her is the smell of bacon coming rom the kitchen. What could be perceived as a nice surprise makes her, in reality, feel sick in the stomach. James is vegan and she hates bacon, something that he knows perfectly well.  

It's when she approaches the kitchen that her worst fears are confirmed. A young woman is standing in front of the oven, only wearing a tee-shirt, one Lyanna knows all too well well since she bought it for James’s birthday two years ago. Her hair are wet, she used the shower. She is to stunned to speak, her brain trying to process the information. She finally makes a move when the door of the bedroom opens and James comes out, wearing only comfy pants, his hair wet as well. That’s the extra push she needs to finally speak.

“Am I interrupting something?”

It startles the two cheaters.

“Lyanna? Fuck, I thought your meeting would run for way longer.”

“I bet you did. Who is your guest? Care to introduce me.”

“No need, the blond girl finally speak totally unbothered. You’re James’s girlfriend.”

“So you do know he has a girlfriend.”

“Alice, can you leave us please.”

The so-called Alice exits the room before picking up her stuff and leaving the place not without miming to James to call her.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“Don’t play stupid James! How long are you cheating on me for?”

He remains calm as Lyanna starts to feel tears rolling down her cheeks wile James was looking down on her, not even remorseful.

“Come on Lyanna, you can’t seriously think that I would stay faithful to you? I’m twenty three, I’m young, I’m famous, I’m rich and I’m good looking, you can’t expect me to stay loyal to you. Not when there are so many opportunities around me.”

“You could have just broken up with me instead of throwing away three years of my life. I love you James… I can’t believe it. That’s not you, that’s not the man I fell in love with.”

“And I loved you. At some point I guess when we started dating. But wat I once felt for you died a long time ago.”

“Why did you stay then? Explain it to me!”

“Because it made us look good. People love us together. They are stupid enough to buy our perfect couple story. If I broke up with you, it’s a loose -loose for both of us Lyanna. You really think that you can exist on your own? List me one time where you made the headline on your own. Where I wasn’t being mentioned. You can’t. People don’t like Lyanna Michel on her own. They like James Barton and Lyanna Michel, the power couple. If you sink, I sink too.”

“You are wrong.”

Her voice is broken, she is holding back so as not to break down in front of him. His words are cruel, his gaze cold and his face inexpressive.

“I missed so many opportunities because I believed your words, because I didn’t want to lose you, because I trusted you. I lost friends, I barely speak to my family. All that because I thought that you loved me and because I wanted to spend my life with you. I thought they could not understand. I protected you.  And for what? What do I have left?”

“Well too bad for you. I never asked you to do those things. It’s all your fault Lyanna if you are alone now.”

She couldn't bear to stay another minute in that bloody flat. She stomps off to the bedroom, takes out a suitcase and stuffs a few things into it. She has to leave. To where? She has no idea, but she has to get away from here. Away from him.

“Where are you going? You can’t seriously think of leaving?”

“Oh yes, I can. I won’t stay here wit you. We’re done James. Forever.”

Her words seems to shake him. His gaze hardens and he grabs her violently by the elbow as she walks through the bedroom door, dragging her suitcase as best she can.

“If you go through that door, you'll regret it, Lyanna. I'm not joking, I’ll make you life like hell. You think you can just leave me, after everything I've given you? This flat? It's mine, you've got nowhere else to go. What about shooting the show? Have you thought about that? Do you really want to throw it all away over a domestic quarrel?”

“I'm going to tell the truth, to the production team, to my agent, to the press if I have to, but I'm not going to let you manipulate me. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

She pulled away from him and went through the door.

When James said that he would make her life like hell, she did not believe him. But she quickly changes her mind when she gets a phone call from her agent early in the morning, a few weeks later.

“Pictures leaked in the press Lya.”

“What pictures?”

“Intimate ones.”

It takes her a while to understand what that means. And then she made the mistake of opening her social networks. Her private messages are flooded with insults. Photos of her in compromising positions jump out at her. She just doesn't get it. She doesn't know where they're coming from. She's never taken any. She explained this to her agent, who replied that she was doing her best to minimise the damage. And the more she looks at the photos, the more she understands. She recognises James's flat. Could he have been vicious enough to take photos of her without her knowing?  It seems perverse and sick and twisted and wrong, but after all, does she really know him? She wonders.

And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, a video surfaced. A video of her and James having sex. And the media machine goes into overdrive. Radio, television, newspapers, social networks, they're all having a field day making her out to be something she's not. A slut. The comments are making her sick. It's violent. She can no longer leave her house without being mobbed by the paparazzi. She feels guilty. How could she not realise that she was being filmed without her knowledge or consent? Shame overwhelms her. And soon her agent tells her that season three of Fire and Bood will be the last. Faced with the scale of the scandal, the channel decided to cancel it. What had made her the happiest woman in the world three years ago turns into a nightmare. She dreads the day when she has to return to filming.

As expected, the shoot was hellish. The atmosphere is tense and it's no surprise to anyone when the critics come out and describe the final season as a shipwreck. It can't be any other way when the two main actors can't be in the same room as each other. James barely spoke to her, just to ask if she'd had a good few months since the break-up and if she'd enjoyed his little surprise.

That year, Lyanna is a shadow of her former self. She barely eats or goes out. All the unwanted attention she receives gnawed at her insides. So she disappeared. She closes her social networks and leaves London to return to France, to her mother's house, to recover. As the months goes by, she steps away from Hollywood to concentrate on smaller projects that don't attract many people to the cinemas, but that allows her to regain confidence in herself and in her work.

So when Steven Spielberg contacts her agent to offer her a role in his next film, Lyanna hesitates. She isn't keen on returning to the violence of the business, and is terrified at the thought of doing it all over again. But her passion for art takes over and she can't refuse. Who would say no to Steven Spielberg?

But her experiences have taught her one thing: she will never again let a man be so important in her life. And never again will she go out with someone famous. It's nothing but trouble. As for trusting anyone, never again. She would rather be alone than badly accompanied.

And then Monaco arrived. And with it, a neighbour she finds hard to stay away from.

==========

taglist: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #fiction #writing #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x female reader #cl16 #cl16 x reader

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: Red

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

NO MONOLOGUE 😱😱😱

[“We stole that power first!  It’s ours!”  So she was ranting about this in s1 even before she was ranting about this (re. Alec) in s2, I see]

*sigh* so bitchy. So hot. S’not fair

I’ll live in an abandoned building for that tub  *sigh*

Togan! 😁

How did you know that?  Some good ears  [The water was splashing pretty loudly tbf]  True ☠️

[Max prioritizing herself over the greater good again]  Does she ever not tho?  [True!  Also, it might be fine if she didn't then act like she was some paragon of virtue later]

Must be so dehumanizing for these poor men to be lifted like a rag doll by her

Sorry but.  Buddy there was no blood.  You’re just stupid

["I thought you were dead"  Damn, this is the episode catchphrase, apparently alkdsjf]  ☠️☠️☠️

[OH IT'S THIS ONE!  Get ready to be annoyed]

“Coulda been worse.”  ☠️☠️☠️

“Here’s some spending money” ☠️☠️☠️ *sigh* Must be nice.  She should respect the shit out of him

THEY GONNA HOOK UP!?!

Look here bitchy man

How boujie of him

Oh she kinky

BOUJIE

🥺🥺🥺

Money! 🤣🤣  Yeeep it’ll get you anything

Speaking of off the record… How’d you get this tape

Budddy that’s not healthyyyy!  Stop watching yourself get shot

Nooooo Wot Is Happening How Even Did He get them in there  [Magic]

MEN 😤  [Ma'am, you're married… I remind you that you got yourself hitched to one of them]  He’s different (most days) ☠️  He’s the exception.  But he still has his “men” moments

[OH MY GOD THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  The one time it’s very much not welcome  [Enemies to friends to lovers?]  Does that happen?!  [No aslkdfj]

“It’s all coming back to me now”...  I got my ass kicked by a lady

[btw, her mission security is shit here]

This scene is giving me whiplash

Oh he has escapéd  [laksdjflkajfd the accent is stunning]  ☠️

Did she not think this would happen???? Dumbo.  [Like I said, mission security sucks]  ☠️☠️

[Okay, but her dealing with the guy extorting the working girls was, grudgingly, great]

You know when you got these scenarios where the persons life is in danger but they are stupid?  [All too well]  And keep running away?  I don’t even feel bad when they ultimately get got

*sigh* she's showing off her Manticore stuff without call for it again  ☠️☠️

“My wife” ☠️☠️

Buddy I’m sorry, but you do not have the right lifestyle to be reproducing  [You're not wrong]

Cliche bad guy: has a kid so isn’t “so” bad 🙂🙃

Is he lying?  I feel like he’s lying.  And she’s just stupid.  (Cause she gave the ol soft smile awww he’s a good dad face: Women… we got our flaws too)  [I?  Don't think so?  I think that was genuine]

– – –

Okay… Midpoint *sigh* imma lil rusty.  BUT.  This fecking man (Bruno) is annoying af!  *sigh*  Like, Max is annoying.  Logan is annoying sometimes.  Hell, they all have their moments.  But this man… Like, buddy is such a good father he HAS to call his daughter every night.. but can’t take the fact people are trying to kill him serious enough to stay put!?!  And in all honesty I don’t have too much more. Other than Logan ridiculously torturing himself with reasons he hates the guy he wants max to save ☠️ nothing else has happened til now

– – –

[I maintain that Normal wears makeup]  ☠️☠️☠️  I believe it

I LOVE HER! And him!  [This watchthrough, I'm loving both Normal and OC even more than I did last time]

“Dumbo”  [Look, is you!]  Shush

WHY WOULD YOU GO SEE YOUR KID YOU IDIOTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!  LIKE?!?!?!?!

[Okay but that "yahoo" was adorable]  I know but still  [Shush]

Seeeeeeee  [Shush.  The yahoo was cute]  And the gunman took a giant shit on the cuteness ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Buh-ruh  [OH SHIT THEM Rightttttt I remember this]

Ooooh ok fire knife makes sense now

Who is this guy?  [idk but I remember liking him]  Did I miss him coming up  [Nah, I don't think we know him]  Oh 🤣 He just randomly popped up.  I was like….. who are you!?

Oooof I got caught up in the story 🤣🤣🤣 but how cliche: a bomb threat

Oh

Double-cross!  Evil!  Man!  [Did I mention she's kinda dumb for stupidly flaunting her powers... this is why. People. Notice.]  Yep

Welp if he dies… Won’t feel too bad (again)

[Hubris being her flaw again]

Nope not a lick of remorse… Ya deserved it buddy  [This is fair, but the kid didn't]  That’s true and that part sucks. But he could have got her killed getting what he wanted (to see her one more time) so imo she’s better off

Aaaaaack

[Another instance of Max being allowed to verbally express pain/discomfort while she didn't allow Alec the same season 2 courtesy... not that I'm bitter or anything]  So what I’m hearing is alec becomes her (just better) she becomes zach and zach becomes the terminator  [... That-  Yeah, that's a pretty damn good description, tbh]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

No end monologues… This ep was all kinda weird 🤣🤣🤣

– – –

Jezebel: This episode managed to piss me off in multiple ways… *sigh*  Like, this time her bitchiness was deserved ‘cause Bruno was an idiot.

Wench: WAIT THAT'S A GOOD POINT!  This is vaguely off-topic rn but!  Take her bitchiness towards Bruno… Direct it towards Dean… Don’t change anything about her bitchiness and don’t change much of Dean's character… And you have her relationship with Alec.

Jezebel: So she’s just like that all the time. But for NO reason?  *sigh*  Hoooo boy

Wench: I mean.  He's a bit trying at times, sure.  But he doesn’t deserve her shit 

Jezebel: Next seasons reactions are gonna be spicy

Wench: alskdfjla;skdjf I look forward to it

Jezebel: I think that’s all for endpoint tho. Again, this episode revolved around this one story line so much the cameos of the other characters could have been left out and it wouldn’t be noticed.  They were just filler to make it longer lol

Wench: That's true.  This is fair… Til next episode then!

#dark angel #dark angel reactions #reactions #episode reactions #s01e10 #red #max guevara #logan cale #jezebel (pr)

[mdhwrites]

What's something you would you say that made Amity (individually) a more popular character besides Eda in the first 2 seasons than Luz?

Did Luz feel rushed at the start of the series?

Okay, the first thing I have to comment on this is that I'm not really sure she is more popular than Luz. More popular than Eda? Probably. Almost certainly. But Luz... People actually have attacked me for talking shit about Luz but no one has ever defended Amity.

I also don't know really who was most popular by the end of Season 2. The fandom has kind of been in a mire of not knowing what to do with itself since Season 2's ending because by then, the show had lost so much potential that even those still in love with the show likely struggled to find the same depth as between seasons 1 and 2. Yes, there was a whole new world to explore but a lot of people seemed to struggle to know what to do with the cast in the human realm at that point. After all... what would they do special there when the Isles is so much like the human realm? Just more teeth and magic and questionably more advanced technology.

But if we just want to talk about what made Amity so beloved in general... Potential and prettiness. In almost every narratively possible way, Amity just had/has more potential than almost any other character. And, honestly, especially Luz.

Because Luz doesn't really have much of an arc to call rushed. Main characters in general suffer from lacks of arcs that aren't arcs of power, though this is as much a boon as a bane. After all, you need a bedrock for your story and usually the main character is this bedrock. The one that dictates tone, direction and theme. Luz even actually does this for the most part as the happier Luz is, the happier in general the show is. Hence why the later seasons get so dour.

But they don't really get more dour because they're exploring Luz's untapped potential. We never get episodes about her nuerodivergence or her bullying. We never get episodes about her genuinely growing past her character flaws (if anything, we get episodes dedicated to introducing new ones). Who Luz is is mostly static and the dour tone comes from her deciding, sometimes reasonably (maybe never seeing her mom) and sometimes not ('helping' Belos and the Collector), that something matters to her and so she needs to get serious or sad about it.

That's... Kind of a rough position for people to 110% invest in. Can they still love the character? Absolutely. They can actually even still be their favorite character even if they are less charged up creatively or the like for them. You don't need your favorite to be the most unique or special thing in the world. Sometimes, a nice, solid foundation with tropes done well is all you need.

So what about Amity? Well, A: Amity perhaps gets as much character development and expansion as Eda or King have gotten THREE SEASONS IN by the end of Season 1. There's no wasted episodes for Amity in S1. If she shows up, it's showing you a new side of her or developing her character or pushing forward her 'arc'. (I have opinions on Amity's arc.) B: Gee, I wonder if a nerdy, pressured lesbian with abusive parents and siblings who don't get her will end up resonating with a fandom that is full of people who are chronically online? Myself included, even if I mostly connected with the nerdy and pressured part. C: EVERYTHING in S1 added to Amity's potential for narratives as well. From learning magic with Luz, her crush, her ambitions that contrasted to Luz's desire to be a wild witch, her family, her friends, etc.

Amity is a POWERHOUSE of a character. They could have literally spent an entire season just focusing on her character and I would argue still not gotten through all of her potential. She was that rich and dense narratively by the end of S1. And, on top of ALL of that: Conventionally attractive. Because yes, that does matter. This isn't even about her being white. She is drawn like the prettiest girl in school with a unique haircut, stick figure body, fashionable clothes and graceful movements. All while also having a bit of a goth/emo aesthetic to her because she trends more towards purples and blacks.

I would not be surprised if a lot of people who write or draw Amity are interested in dating someone like Amity. Someone who can keep up with me intellectually but also will lean on me for support? Who is loyal enough to defend me no matter what but also vulnerable enough to ask for a hug when she needs it? Someone who is beautiful in a way that feels effortless but you know would panic if you saw her without her foundation on?

Gee, I wonder why so many people to this day draw her just to go "P-Pretty" even to the point where the show will spend pointless moments in S3 just to remind you all that Luz is dating a goddess of magic and beauty. And before anyone gets down my throat: LIKE Amity. I wouldn't want to date a 14 year old. Honestly I'm already getting to the point at almost 27 where the idea of dating someone under 20 makes me fidget somewhat.

But like... This stuff matters. Whether your characters are people your audience wants to be friends with or not will determine part of their attachment. Strong emotions like wishing you were in Luz's place so you could have an awesome girlfriend elicits action. Elicits dedication. Makes it so one doesn't want to leave.

Which with all of that said... Boy does it feel like it reflects poorly on Amity how many people HAVE left the fandom. How many people must have realized that the girl they wanted was gone.

Because for all the praise I'll give Amity... That's S1. If Luz is a more popular character now, it's because people have realized that there's still the potential for Luz to do something interesting. A potential Amity lost as the title of 'awesome girlfriend' became all she was.

Because it's one thing to want the awesome girl on screen to date you. It's another to see what that reality looks like and to find it lacking to your fantasy.

(A final thing: I am curious as to who exactly is the favorite in the fandom at this point. If I had to guess I'd assume it's either Hunter, Luz or Eda and I feel like that'll mostly show off what ship is the most popular.)

#Amity #The Owl House #Luz

[lothrilzul]

🖊 and Thenasto (TELL ME ABOUT YOUR GODWOKEN TELL ME EVERYTHING MWHAHAHAHA)

So, Thenasto, or Tendon as the shipmates came to knew him aboard the Merryweather, was free elf by the time the Magisters caught him. He was leading a one-elf healing clinic where he sometimes worked for free if people were unable to pay. He accepted trade, food, whatever. That’s where he met the other custom Godwoken of his story, Lady Arne, who was my Husband’s custom character.

As a young elf, he lived in the edge of the Homeland, near a human village where his father was helping the humans with the burials. He literally grew up in a cemetery but it never bothered him. He learned a lot about death, customs, rituals, respect, loss and the Hall of the Echoes was a very interesting thing for him. He also was curious about Source, but he didn’t connect the two yet.

When he was a little older, he had a crush/girlfriend, I don’t how serious it was, but they had a pet squirrel. Only, the squirrel died and he was grieving the poor innocent creature so much, that he somehow brought it back. It was not the same, and eventually not more than a walking (albeit happy) skeleton and the girl was terrified. Of both of them. She screamed and yelled and sent him away. With his broken heart, he ran from home, never to return.

He wandered the forests, silent at first, and then he came to peace with his talents. He vowed never to use these skills as offense, only in self defense, and only if there was nothing else he could do. He was also talented in Hydrosophist spells, so he focused mostly on those. He learned some ice magic, but it was healing that interested him most.

And scholarly stuff. He is a reader and a talented singer. Every night, he would walk the forest and sing to the creatures or the Moon. I know it’s cliche but he really was a pure dumb idiot like that. 

So one day, during the New Moon, lizard slavers captured him and it was his voice that saved him. He never stopped singing and didn’t resist. He liked living, even if he wasn’t free. He was immediately put to a different wagon, into a more expensive cage essentially and was sold to the highest bidder. The slavers were paid well for the find.

His first owner was a pleasure garden. He had pretty good life there, the ‘birds’ were respected by the owner, were allowed to refuse clients and most often didn’t even need to perform sexual acts. It was mostly mild things, think courtesan or geisha. They were expensive escorts, not cheap things. It was a prestige to hire a bird and if a client was not behaving they found themselves banned from the garden.

One day, a wealthy human woman came to the garden to buy a new book reader, because her eye sight was failing and her previous one just died. (You know, like you would buy a new e-book reader, I guess?) She quickly chose Thenasto because he spoke more than one language and could sing beautifully.

He continued to have a relatively happy life. He had everything but his freedom. They had fine clothes, free time, were free to leave the mansion and they loved the Lady. The Old Lady was nice, well, as nice as a slave-owner gets, but  everyone someone enough owned slaved there.

Thenasto fell in love with a man named Sandor, the cook. The Old Lady allowed them, she said it brought happiness into the ‘big old house’.

But the Old Lady was, well, old and only had relatives that lived in countries where slavery was abolished, and urged her to free her lot, give them wages, but she said she was too old to change now and they’ll be free once she died. All of the relatives squarely refused owning slaves, all but one. So, when she died, everything she had, including all the ‘servants’ in the house, were inherited by her niece, who was the only one not refusing. 

Now, the niece was everything but like the Old Lady. She was cruel and selfish. The last year of Thenasto’s slave-life was plain misery. The new lady was keen on showing them what slaves ‘deserved’, whippings were common as verbal abuse and so on. Sandor and Thenasto laid low, but they Lady found out. It led to Thenasto escaping via a literal bloodshed where he killed her, but also lost Sandor.

Since that event he could raise a bloated corpse, one of his starting spells. (Other is decaying touch, also used that night.) He used it only in self defense and was always horrified of it.

He had 3 owners in total, but I’m not sure how long his slave time was actually. He was free by the time the Fog devastated the Homeland and his last hope of seeing his family vanquished. 

At that time, he never would’ve thought he will end up with the man he cursed so many times and he would be grateful for meeting him.

(Spelling these all out, I’m now embarrassingly aware how similar some of these elements are to the stories of Fenris and Anders from Dragon Age 2 and Zevran from Origins, but when I conjured it all up, it haven’t played these games yet. Yeah I’m a latecomer.)

So, where did this idea came from? I wanted to play an elf because I was tired of equipping the shapeshifting mask everytime. I chose male, because female elves terrified me personally. I still respect Sebille but hoo boy. She’s a presense, isn’t she? Thenasto sure agrees. Now, I always had a sweet spot for Necromancy since Heroes of Might and Magic III’s Necropolis and my D:OS Source Hunter was a Geomancer/Witchcraft girl, so I was kind of familiar with the playstyle. 

Ah, and Thenasto is a well-read one and he craves old stories about Source users. Source Hunters, Arhu, Zandalor, Jahan, Cassandra and Braccus? He knows everything that was written down somewhere. Meeting Jahan, Arhu and Braccus in person was like a dream come true. Or a nightmare, in the latter case. (He personally almost worships my Source Hunter Busdra, even tho official texts claimed it was ‘Roderick and Scarlett’ or whatever, he always believed the ‘Busdra and Blossom’ version was true. That was what the elves taught to him. That was in the memories that he tasted.)

As for the romance? I didn’t even know this game had romance until I accidentally triggered Ifan with the ‘you know, lonely’ dialogue. I was done then and there. In a week I was shipping this boy so hard with Ifan my heart clenched. Because just imagine the possibilities! The back story was born soon and I’m currently 18k into their ‘idiots in love’ fic and half of it wasn’t even written. Or badly. It devolved from a violent climax to a totally tender one and I’m still polishing it to be good enough to share. It’s a quickly escalating thing, really, much like my real falling in love was. ^^

Ifan, as we know, can be in love with the player since the moment they meet on the ship, and I am on board with that. He saw this graceful parrot with his mohawk, soft words and kind soul and went: that’s the one. Thenasto didn’t need much more than a boop on the nose either.

Neither of them was comfortable prodding the other much tho, both thought the other deserved better. Thenasto was not proud of his past as a slave, especially as that kind of slave and well, we know Ifan’s story. It is extra angsty with an elf.)

Lady Arne and the Red Prince (the rest of the party, Hubbo’s characters) were doing their best to make these two idiots realize what they felt before they left Reaper’s coast. They succeeded, bless them.

We finished our game by sharing the source with everyone, but their canon is that Lady Arne became the New Divine in Lucian’s place. This was more or less satisfactory for everyone. Neither Thenasto nor Ifan really ever wanted it, and none of them wanted to outlive or outstrong the other, so they trusted Arne. Turns out, she is much better than Lucian. The only downside was losing Afrit for Ifan.

Thenasto and Ifan went on about the forest rehabilitation project and lived happily ever after. (Or not, but that’s a different story, and I’m still working on that.)

#thenasto #thenasto & ifan #lothril answers asks #;;I hope this was as coherent as I believe it is #;;thank you for the ask! #;;sorry if typoes

[ridley-was-a-cat]

What I Watched This Week – 12/10 – 12/16

Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn – I guess I’ve been in a Gundam mood, as I watched War in the Pocket last week, and I decided to watch this finale of sorts for the Universal Century timeline this week. I not only really enjoyed it, it might be my new favorite mecha series. The story has everything I love about the earlier Gundam series: a young man stumbling into combat and having his worldview upended, conflict between two parties who are neither all good nor entirely evil, nicely choreographed battles between mecha pilots with genuine stakes, and just the right amount of metaphysical sci-fi woo woo. It loses a couple of the things I didn’t like about the original series, as there are no random children wandering around for no reason, and our reluctant hero protagonist isn’t an arrogant prick to everyone in the beginning. The visuals are fantastic, perfectly mixing 2D and 3D animation in the space battles, with character designs that fit the style of the other Universal Century series, but also fit with more recent aesthetics. Having a soundtrack by Hiroyuki Sawano was just the icing on the cake. If this was my reward for making it through ZZ Gundam, it was all worth it. 9/10

Libra of Nil Admirari – This is one of those shows that isn’t very good, but is bad in an entirely enjoyable way. It adapts an otome game set in an alternate universe Japan where the Taisho Era lasted twice as long, and there is a government agency tasked with collecting and safeguarding hand-written Japanese-style books that have taken on supernatural powers. Our heroine gains the ability to see the auras of these books after one causes her brother to catch fire, leading her to get a job at this agency full of attractive guys. It has everything you’d want from a female demo visual novel adaptation; There’s the brooding loner, the charismatic leader, the flirtatious playboy, the tsundere rich boy, the twink, and the mystery man with a dangerous aura. There’s a secret fiancé, the heroine gets kidnapped, they sneak into a ball, there’s a dramatic fatherhood reveal, people get murdered, there’s a government conspiracy, you know, the works. It’s all kind of cheesy, and everyone quickly becomes enamored of our heroine for no discernable reason, but I love this shit, so I had fun. 6/10

Reborn! Ep. 76-100 – For reasons not yet revealed to the characters, Tsuna and his crew have been sent ten years into the future, where a rival family has all but taken over the world. I like how Tsuna has hardly whined or complained about the situation, and I have a bit of a soft spot for training arcs, so these episodes haven’t been bad or anything. However, it just feels like the setting is completely falling apart here. The series was never terribly serious about the mafia setting, but in this arc it’s basically tossed it in the bin and replaced it with tokusatsu-style villains and magical battles, and I can’t understand it. If you didn’t want to draw men in suits, why pick the mafia? Why are we fighting with magical devices now? When did gun battles or sword fights between guys in sharp suits get so unappealing that you had to replace them with glowing, purple serpents and goofy evil society costumes? And why did you bring the two girls to the future just to have them cook and do laundry for the guys? I’m going to put this on hold for a bit, and I’ll see if I want to finish it sometime in the new year.

#anime #backlist anime #Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn #Libra of Nil Admirari #Reborn! #gundam

[imovyn]

That was so interesting, thank you for sharing!

I was talking about those church dances. They are pretty popular where I live, we have one Mormon church and we'd travel to the dances in the same... Stake? I think that's what they called it

I went to 1. It was pretty fun, it was kinda funny to see everyone wearing super appropriate attire and dancing to songs with nothing explicit in them. My siblings went to a senior prom dance in the public school and oh boy did it sound totally different.

Wait, so, the magic underwear thing is only after you've been to the temple? How serious is that "rule" cause I have some friends and her mom has worn tank tops before and all I saw was her shoulders. Maybe when it's not 80°F outside... Idk. The whole concept is wild to me.

I also learned that while youre in the temple, some do baptisms for people who have already passed? Why, and how?

Also during temple trips, what do you even do? I've heard you wear white and just pray the whole time.

ok long answer ahead

yeah its called a stake. a stake is made up of 10 or so wards, which are like the people you go to church w and generally do activities with and stakes will sometimes get together for activities like dances. nah i never went to the stake dances just bc i didnt really want to, it’s cool that you went and had fun tho, yeah i can see how some people would like those more than school dances. i did go to a dance at a stake youth conference tho so that was similar. every year theres girls' camp for the girls and high adventure camp for the boys but every once and a while we would all get together for youth conference, i went to one ward youth conference which was just a fun camping trip, and the stake youth conference was in the middle of the winter in cabins it was actually a blast and the dance was actually pretty fun. the church may be fucked but at least the camps are fun

how often people wear their garments is an indicator of how committed they are to the faith kinda like the earring thing. some people wear them almost all the time, some only when they're going to church or something. its not a hard and fast rule, but there is the belief that they will protect you from harm, like if you get in a car crash, so they are for your own benefit.

omg i am so glad you asked about baptisms for the dead. ok so there are a series of covenants, which have been described to me as promises made with God that you have to have done in order to get into the highest rung of heaven (the mormon afterlife is. so weird. its so complicated) and if they werent done during life, they can be done on your behalf by someone else. you can get baptized and confirmed (priesthood holders, usually family, lay their hands on your head and given the gift of the Holy Ghost and confirmed a member of the church holy fuck this religion is weird) at the age of 8, and starting the year you turn 12 you can get baptized and confirmed on behalf of people who have passed away. mormon temples are the only place baptisms for the dead can be done but your own baptism can be literally anywhere, there are baptismal fonts in most mormon churches for that.

anyway in order to enter into the temple you have to have a temple recommend which needs to be renewed each year, which you get by interviewing with your bishop (the ward leader) and he asks you if you keep the commandments and believe in the Godhead and Joseph Smith and stuff (very controversial part of the church, i was lucky and always had really nice bishops growing up but i have heard stories of kids straight up being asked if they masturbate ahaha lol) i remember the last few times i went saying like yeah i dont believe in the church :) and then just not having a temple recommend and when my young women's class talked about organizing a trip to the temple i had to be like yeah im not going anyway :)

i did go when i was younger tho and like actually believed in all of this tho, we would go before school on wednesdays which tbh was kinda fun. it was early but the temples are so peaceful. but a little creepy. the temples are mostly worked by older people who are usually very nice, you walk in in sunday dress and show your recommend. mormons are obsessed with family history and genealogy and own FamilySearch, an incredibly extensive library of family history stuff where you can track your family tree back generations. the reason theyre so obsessed w this is because they want you to perform covenants for all your deceased family members so you can be reunited in heaven. the church is INCREDIBLY focused on the family. you can bring family names to the temple or the temple will just give you random ones, usually about 4 or 5. they'll give you clothes for the baptismal font, which are all white jumpsuits, or you can bring your own if you have them. the baptismal fonts in mormon temples are kinda cool tho, the font rests on the back of 12 oxen statues, representing the 12 tribes of Israel which is whole nother can of worms, and the room that theyre in is v beautiful. anyway there are locker rooms to change in, and you'll go wait in a room w a window overlooking the baptismal font room and either do baptisms or confirmations first. the entire process is meant to be very reverent, and they have scriptures and church magazines in the waiting room if you're bored.

baptisms, you'll wait on benches on the side of the font until it's your turn, hand the dude sitting on the side the names as well as a slip of paper with your own name, and walk into the font, he'll display them on a screen where another dude who's gonna be baptizing you (if its a trip w people from your ward like i did when i was younger usually a priesthood holder just from your ward) can see them, there's a very specific way in which you hold onto his arm so he can quickly dip you all the way under, (and you can hold your nose so you dont get water up it) its believed you can only be baptized if youre completely immersed and he'll repeat this prayer for each name that you have: "(Brother or Sister) your name, having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you for and in behalf of temple name, who is dead, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." he would then dip you underwater, and repeat for each name that you had. then go take a shower in the locker rooms. tbh getting ready for the day in there w my friends was kinda fun.

for confirmations it was basically the same, they would take about 5 people into a room and each person would take turns sitting in a chair where usually 3-4 priesthood holders would lay their hands on your head and repeat this prayer for each name you had: "(Brother or Sister) your name, in the name of Jesus Christ, we lay our hands upon your head for and in behalf of temple name, who is dead, and confirm you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and say unto you: Receive the Holy Ghost. Amen." and again repeat this for each name you had. then shake the hands with all the dudes. the entire process of baptizing and confirming a few people in a group of about 10 people takes less than an hour, and we would go get donuts afterward. looking back this was. weird. other covenants have to be done for the dead too, such as endowment, marriage sealing, and receiving the priesthood for men. (but you have to be older for those so i dont know a whole lot about them) The idea is that people who died without having these done cant move onto the next step in the afterlife until someone on earth does all their covenants for them. this is also a kinda controversial part of the church, as people have performed covenants for the dead on behalf of like. holocaust victims. but it is believed to be a divine mission given by God to baptize and confirm as many people as they possibly can.

temple trips can mean covenants for the dead like i just described, endowment, marriage, family sealings (done when a baby is born or a child is adopted) and tbh the inside of temples is kinda gorgeous. before theyre dedicated, theyre open to the public, and i got to see the provo city center temple before it was dedicated, which is a way cool temple because it was an old tabernacle that almost burned down

anyway this is really long and rambly again but agh the church is just. why is it like that

#religion tag #exmo #ask #imconfusedallthetimehelp #sorry this took me so long to answer i forgot it was in my drafts

[ashuuuuuuu]

Anyways this story is not about her. After her, i really wanted to find new true friends. The thing about me is that I'm friendly with everyone, i listen to everyone's problem but no one listens to mine so I've always yearned for a true friend and found this new girl in school and I'm literally in love with her. She's so sweet, we share the same interests and not a single moment with her is dull. I really want her to consider me her friend cuz she has became literally everything to me lol . Look at me hyperfixating on one person again. The problem is she's also a social butterfly, in a different way compared to my previous best friend but she's so friendly that she even chats with school maids XD but the thing is because of this, i again feel jealous whenever she's not talking to me. I always give glances to her when sitting on her seat, i swear to god i think i have a crush on cuz the amount of times i just stare at her is insane plus every little thing she does is so cute omg- oof look at me get distracted from the point again . Anyways, I'm not sure about the crush thing so let's just call her my friend for now lol i hope she considers me atleast friends ? Cuz we've chatted for a while and she truly seemed to enjoy those conversations. The thing is i always see her talking with others and i really wanna talk to her more cuz i have so much to talk to her about but she sits with someone else and has lunch with her best friend so i can never just barge in right and like because she always shines like a bright star, she's so busy, she always looks out of reach and i can't really call her or talk to her in between classes cuz we are in last year of highschool so we are both serious on our studies ( we are also both toppers lol ) . So she feels like blue bird to me and I'm Liz, a lonely girl who's always trying to reach her, always chasing her and like mizore i don't want to let her go but I'm not even sure if she likes being with me ? I mean our friendship just began. In such a short time, she's starting to mean so much to me but what am I to her ? I'm finding myself of thinking these things again and because i don't want get hurt again , i sometimes treat her a little coldly, sometimes i distance myself cuz she always has so many friends and a best friend so am i just another classmate to her that's she's friendly to because she's just genuinely a bubbly person ? I'm scared of knowing that truth and getting hurt but after watching this movie i realised that even tho we may not have had the chance of becoming as close as mizore and nozomi, by distancing myself in order to not get hurt, i maybe hurting her feelings , that maybe I'm so lonely cuz i expect others to open up to me when i refuse to open myself up cuz I'm scared of getting hurt like i did in the past, so what people judged my feelings in the past ? Maybe this girl is sweet enough to accept them, maybe she's not being just nice and actually likes me ? And even if she doesn't, even if I'm not as special to her as she is to me, that's ok cuz i believe we have precious memories together and we still have time to make more of those memories so i should utilise that time and shouldn't worry about things that are uncontrollable like this. So that's why I'm planning to ! It won't be easy cuz feelings like these don't just magically disappear but I'm willing to work for them to do! So I'm really glad i watched Liz and the blue bird cuz it's a masterpiece that has the power to teach it's audience life lessons like this. I loved the movie. Pls go watch it if you haven't already! And oof look at me oversharing my life on internet to random strangers again. If you read all this crap, thank you i guess XD

#liz and the blue bird

[magicalgirlfriends]

it’s not a show but genuinely i really do like the star guardians from league of legends. the designs are cute, i like seeing more of the story hinted at, i like the cinematics and character interactions and short stories.

i think it’s been a good balance of “sometimes being a magical girl is scary, and some really sad things happen” with “friendship is really important, when we work together we are stronger, there is still hope, there is still love”... sure, there are serious and sometimes unsettling enemies, but there’s also cute and genuinely sweet things. a sleepover with pajamas like their adorable familiars. soraka knowing how a teammate likes his coffee. jinx coming back after an argument because she misses her team, helping her team against a strong monster. ahri saying lux reminds her of old friends.

#it's just nice. i do like more serious stories sometimes but with magical girls people think it has to be Super Edgy with less autonomy #and that's not really true. a lot of magical girl media does explore darker themes while not losing the heart of the genre. #another example. rakan is a tragic antagonist yes but very funny and still shows such love and may well be able to save xayah at least. #like the story hasn't progressed since their introduction we don't get regular updates but there's the recall... so bittersweet :') #Anyway im rambling. the gist of this is i like balance in my magical girl media and league is my special interest #and im tentatively hopeful about more star guardian stuff this year or soon after the end of it.

[griffintail]

I watched this really cute anime movie about a deaf girl recently, and it gave me an idea I thought you might like!!

What if Tommy had a kid (how he came upon the child is irrelevant) who was deaf? Music, especially the discs are a big thing for Tommy, so it’d be a big adjustment for him to realize “Oh yeah, they can’t hear this”. He learns sign language with a LOT of help from others cause he wants to be able to communicate with his kid, and he and his kid sometimes gossip and tease people using sign language cause aside from a few basic signs, no one really knows what those two are talking about; well..maybe Tubbo knows, only cause he was the one Tommy spent the most time learning sign with.

Bonus, what if when his kid’s a little older they decide they wanna hear the discs their dad talks about, so they ask Uncle Techno to help them craft something akin to hearing aids; but y’know with magic and stuff. And when they hear their dad’s discs for the first time they cry cause it’s even better than they ever could have imagined??

I just, I like the fluffy stuff!!

- from, an Anon Who Probably Has Cavities From All This Sweetness🍬🍭🍫

To Hear

Summary: Tommy cares for a deaf, child (Y/N).

Pairings:  Parental! Platonic! Tommy x Deaf! Child! Reader

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Bruh, I was so excited to make this I did in a few hours. I have been thinking about this since you sent it in. I use some elements from Lost Ones but it’s soo not canon to my story.

*Any full sentences in Italics means they’re talking in Sign Language.*

 I hope you enjoy it ♥

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Tommy didn’t know.

        How was he supposed to?

        He’d never met anyone that was deaf and didn’t know the signs. (Y/N) was also a baby when he first got her, not exactly like she could go, hey, I can’t hear.

        So, he didn’t know for ages. He really didn’t know what he was doing raising a baby, so when she wasn’t talking by the age of one, he thought it could be a normal thing. He was worried but it could be normal! Babies weren’t super smart after all.

        It was Wilbur that figured it out.

        When he had come to visit his brother and found out he had a baby, of course, they sat down and had a serious talk about it, said baby still happily playing with her toys despite the yelling earlier. After Wilbur realized his brother wasn’t going to simply give up this child, especially after a year of work, he decided he might as well accept it. So, he went over to the child and sat next to her.

        “Hi (Y/N).” Wilbur smiled lightly.

        The child didn’t react though, having not noticed someone was next to her. Wilbur frowned slightly at this and put a hand on her arm, making her look at him now.

        “Hi, little lady.” He greeted her again.

        She made little babbles to him as she turned back to her toys.

        “What words does she know?” Wilbur asked curiously, a small smile on his face again as he remembered when Fundy was a child.

        “Uh, none yet. I can’t get her to say any. She likes making sounds but not much else.” Tommy admitted.

        Wilbur looked at him surprised and Tommy knew now that this wasn’t normal if Wilbur had that face.

        “You said she’s one, right?”

        “Y-Yeah.” He nodded nervously.

        His little girl wasn’t saying words and Wilbur looked concerned. Had he screwed up with his little one?

        Wilbur looked back at (Y/N) though, his mind at work.

        “(Y/N).” He said, but she once more didn’t look at him. “Tommy, does she ever respond to her name?”

        “I mean, sometimes. Not all the time.”

        “When she does respond, are you right in front of her?” Wilbur looked up at him.

        Tommy thought about it before nodding slowly. “Yeah.”

        “Does she ever get scared by your yelling? Or anyone’s yelling for that matter. Loud noises?”

        “Not really, w-what has this got to do with anything?” Tommy questioned.

        “…Tommy, I think (Y/N)’s deaf.”

        Tommy stood there for a moment before shaking his head. “No, no, you’re wrong. She makes noises and things like that. She wouldn’t make them if she couldn’t hear them. And-And we relax to my discs all the time, they calm her down.”

        Wilbur stood up, putting a hand gently on his brother’s shoulder. “She’ll still make sounds, but she won’t be able to form words, Tommy. She would have said any sort of word before now. She can also feel vibrations, they probably feel nice but she can’t hear any of it.”

        At the moment, Tommy couldn’t form words as he stared at his brother trying to deny what he said, but…it made sense. Tommy could never get her to respond to her name. She never really seemed to care when he’d try and teach her how to speak. When he and Tubbo were being loud, she never even flinched. Even a small moment when he had been shouting and swearing profanities when she was napping came to mind as he remembered she never even woke up to that.

        “My baby’s deaf.” He whispered. “What…I…God, how didn’t I notice?!”

        “Calm down Tommy.” Wilbur took both of Tommy’s shoulders. “You’re a smart kid and you’ve been doing this for a year. You can figure it out and I’ll help you with it. I’m sure Tubbo will too.”

        From there, it was a lot for Tommy to process. He had just gotten used to the fact he was taking care of a child; now he had to think several steps ahead and make sure he was ready when she got older. It was a shock to his best friend as well, that felt stupid too for not realizing it sooner, and they both took steps to figure it out.

        There were countless days where instead of going out and adventuring, Tubbo and Tommy practiced having sign language conversations with each other. Other days, Tommy would try and teach (Y/N) simple sign words so she could now start to ask for what she wanted. The relief he felt when she actually started to pick up was immeasurable. He nearly cried when she signed dad to him for the first time without him teaching her.

        When L’Manberg was starting to be formed, he made sure everyone within their walls knew how to talk basics with his child in case she needed anything from them. Tommy never liked leaving (Y/N) with anyone but himself and Tubbo and Wilbur, but when war came, things changed and he had to make sure his baby was being taken care of properly.

        Somethings that Tommy did became said with the new thought.

        Tommy still did his daily ritual with (Y/N), sitting with her and listening to a music disc. His heart broke a little each time now though as when they listened together, he realized every time before he was the only one listening to them. She couldn’t hear a single note. That frustrated him to no end some days as he wished his baby could hear such beautiful sounds but there was nothing, he could do to change it.

        Years went on. L’Manberg was independent from the Dream SMP, Wilbur and Tommy were in power, Tommy had one of his discs back from Dream from a little scam, and (Y/N) was eleven years old.

        “Can we go see Uncle Tubbo?” (Y/N) asked Tommy.

        “Yeah, in a bit. Got to finish writing this for Wilbur. Bitch is so lazy.” Tommy smirked before going back to writing.

        Wilbur looked over at the sounds of (Y/N)’s giggles.

        “What are you doing Tommy?” He asked his brother.

        “Nothing Wilbur,” Tommy called to him.

        “He’s president, tell him to get off his lazy arse.”

        Tommy had to put a hand over his mouth as Wilbur raised an eyebrow.

        “What did she just say? She was going too fast for me.”

        “Just a stupid joke Wilbur.” Tommy grinned as he gave (Y/N) a subtle thumbs up.

        The older man shook his head as he went back to his potions as Tommy finished writing. Putting the book away, Tommy nodded his head for the door of the van and both he and (Y/N) left. She wore her own L’Manberg uniform as they walked down the path towards Tubbo’s home.

        “It still sucks his old house is gone. I liked it.”

        “Yeah, but what are you going to do when you have a power-hungry green bitch?”

        (Y/N) giggled again as they got to Tubbo’s house, Tommy barging in.

        “Tubbo!” He called.

        Tubbo poked his head out from where he was gathering up a few things and smiled.

        “Hey, Tommy! Hey (Y/N).” Tubbo greeted them.

        “Hi, Uncle Tubbo. Did you get any new bees?”

        “I did, they’re with the rest of the hive. You can go see them, just don’t scare them.”

        “I know. I’ll be back dad!”

        Tommy gave her a salute and she was gone.

        “She been doing ok?” Tubbo asked.

        “Yeah, she’s been pretty good.” Tommy grinned. “She talked shit about Wilbur in front of him and it was pretty funny.”

        “I still can’t believe you taught her to swear.” Tubbo shook his head as he went back to his chests.

        “It’s hilarious! No one else knows what we’re saying but you!”

        “That’s because I learned with you. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t know either.” Tubbo reminded him. “Jack figure it out yet?”

        “No.” Tommy rolled his eyes.

        A few of the new members of L’Manberg and the Dream SMP struggled to remember (Y/N) was deaf and often startled her or would simply walk up to her and try and just simply talk. The little girl struggled with her deafness sometimes as she was different from everyone else. Tommy was always there to assure her though that she was fine the way she was.

        “But hey, I was thinking about how to get my disc back from Skeppy,” Tommy mentioned.

        “Oh yeah, what this time?” Tubbo asked.

        (Y/N) came back in smiling as Tommy and Tubbo were talking animatedly about their plan. She gave a simple clap to let them know she was there as she often did when she’d enter a room and no one noticed. They both looked over and motioned her over, talking about their plan instead in sign so she’d know what they were talking about.

        They were talking about the discs again and she frowned slightly. Her father loved playing discs when they were home and she liked feeling the music but she couldn’t help but always wonder what it was like to listen to what her father could hear. To know why he liked them so much that Dream would take them from him.

        A few months past and (Y/N) got herself a new uncle when he settled down close by to their homeland. Technoblade had come to see what his brothers were up to and decided to stick around for a while to see if their government got out of hand. (Y/N) wasn’t sure what that meant but she thought he was pretty cool.

        One of the coolest things was that he already knew rough sign language, having needed it for one of his travels. She thrilled for her father not have to teach someone once more the basics, instead Techno taught himself how to sign better and more advanced words so he could talk to her when she was around.

        She was around a decent bit of time.

        As Techno was now around, Tommy liked to spar with him and (Y/N) liked to watch her father’s skills at work. Alongside that, Techno told her a few stories about his travels or just stories with the sign he taught himself. He often also lent her books for her to read in her spare time.

        Tommy had never felt more grateful for his oldest brother.

        Sure, he couldn’t talk shit around Techno because he’d know what he was saying, but seeing (Y/N) smile to be able to talk to someone else made up for it.

        Today though, (Y/N) had to ask Techno for a favor. All of the boys and her were at Wilbur’s to just have some family time, so now was the perfect time.

        “Hey Techno.” (Y/N) stood nervously in front of him as Tommy was arguing with Wilbur in the kitchen.

        “Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow as he watched her.

        “You know how to do enchantments and stuff right?”

        “Yeah, I do quite a bit of it.”

        “Are you really good at it?”

        “I’d say so, why?”

        “I want to hear.”

        Techno leaned back in his seat watching her. She looked rather passionate about hearing.

        “Why?”

        She hesitated to move her hands. “Dad really likes his discs and I just.” She paused. “I want to hear what they’re like, even for a few moments to have something more with him.”

        Techno gave a small smile as he nodded. “Yeah, alright. I’ll work on something when I get home. You got to go into the kitchen right now though and curse Wilbur out.”

        “Easy! Deal!”

        A few moments later, Tommy was dying of laughter as Techno smirked in his seat as Wilbur demanded to know what (Y/N) was saying. Wilbur knew he should have been getting more lessons from Techno.

        It took Techno a few days but he managed to get small devices enchanted to hear for a few hours.

        “It’d take me a lot more work to get permanent hearing. That’s a long project and I’d need some help. But these will work for a few hours before they bug out.” Techno told her as she held them in her hands, having taken her to “watch her”.

        “Thank you so much Techno.”

        “It’s what I do. And I guess you can start calling me Uncle.”

        She grinned before putting the devices in her ears. For a moment, there was nothing, but that was because Techno made sure they were in a quiet place so she wasn’t overwhelmed. He waited before speaking.

        “So?”

        She jumped at the sound before smiling widely.

        “I can hear!”

        “Great, let’s go see Tommy.” He said as he signed along with his words.

        She wouldn’t know what each word would sound like, that would take more than a few hours, so she’d still have to see sign but that wasn’t the purpose of Techno’s work. They walked back to Tommy’s base and Techno knocked on the door as (Y/N) was looking around in amazement. Tommy flung the door open, grinning to see (Y/N) was already back.

        “You bored her already?” Tommy laughed, (Y/N) looking over as she smiled at the sound of her father’s voice.

        “No, I only needed her to see if what I made actually worked,” Techno told him as they went into the house.

        “And what the hell is that?” Tommy asked as he looked at (Y/N) as Techno’s back was turned. “How stupid was it?”

        (Y/N) giggled. “You sound pretty cool dad.”

        Tommy frowned, confused, as Techno leaned on a wall. “What does that mean?”

        “Uncle Techno helped enchant devices that let me hear for a few hours.”

        Tommy stood frozen for a moment before he snapped his head to Techno.

        “Is she serious?” He asked.

        “Dead serious.” Techno nodded.

        Tommy looked at (Y/N) and grinned, hugging her tightly.

        “You can hear!” He laughed, making (Y/N) cringe. “Oops, right. You’re not used to that.”

        “I’m ok.” She told him figuring he was feeling guilty.

        “She won’t understand words, remember.” Techno reminded his brother.

        “Right.” Tommy nodded. “There’s so many sounds you should hear. I don’t know where to start!”

        “Well, I asked Uncle Techno so I could hear your discs.”

        Tommy’s eyes went wide before he grinned taking (Y/N)’s hand and pulling her to the jukebox outside.

        “Wait right here.” He instructed her as he rushed back inside, Techno coming out lazily with a smile.

        Tommy ran back with a familiar purple and white-colored disc. He rested it on the jukebox before speaking to (Y/N).

        “This is Mellohi. It’s the disc I gave to Dream before I got it back. One of the discs I played for you all the time when you were a baby before I knew and even after. This is one of our discs.”

        Tommy picked up the disc again, taking a deep breath before putting it on. He sat next to (Y/N) on the bench as the song started to play. (Y/N) sat in amazement as she felt the familiar vibrations but also heard the sound it made. Tommy had such a wide smile as he wiped the corner of his eyes of tears as he watched (Y/N)’s reaction to one of their discs.

        She begged him to put on another and Tommy gladly brought out the rest of his collection, Techno having long ago left to see his mission accomplished. They spent those hours they had listening to their discs, Tommy telling Tubbo at one point and the other boy joining the two of them. The trio sat there until the enchantment ran out, but Tommy couldn’t be happier.

        His baby had heard their discs and he swore to himself that he’d help Techno with whatever he needed to make it permanent.

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfiction #tommyinnit x reader #dreamsmp #dreamsmp x reader

[spine-buster]

Patience is a Virtue ft. Matthew Tkachuk | 𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒

CONTENT WARNING: this story deals with cults, polygamous cults, escaping cults, strict adherence to religion, gender roles, abuse, miscarriage, and a character with a traumatic past. T͟h͟i͟s͟ ͟c͟h͟a͟p͟t͟e͟r͟ ͟s͟p͟e͟c͟i͟f͟i͟c͟a͟l͟l͟y͟ ͟h͟a͟s͟ ͟m͟e͟n͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟d͟e͟a͟l͟s͟ ͟w͟i͟t͟h͟ ͟m͟i͟s͟c͟a͟r͟r͟i͟a͟g͟e͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟s͟e͟x͟u͟a͟l͟ ͟a͟s͟s͟a͟u͟l͟t͟.͟  Please be warned.

Word Count: 14,637

Please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page if you are able.  Link in my bio & Masterlist.

A/N:  “Courage” officially broke my record for most notes on a debut chapter, so thank you all so much for all your likes and reblogs!  This chapter is more serious in parts, but we get to see an evolving Effie and an evoling Effie/Matthew dynamic.  Enjoy!

                                                           *     *     *     *     *

Effie.  Her name was Effie.  And everybody knew it.  

Rachel was no more.  Rachel was a thing of the past and she was going to stay there.  Rachel was a person who had been hurt and abused.  Rachel was named by an abusive, violent, cruel, despicable tyrant who called himself Abraham and proclaimed he was a prophet.  Rachel was a girl with no voice, no agency, nothing to call her own.  Rachel was a girl who belonged to someone.

Effie was new.  Effie was her chosen name and a thing of the future.  Effie was a person learning to come to terms with her trauma after years of hurt and abuse.  Effie was name by herself, for herself, to reclaim her identity after years of it being denied to her.  Effie was a girl with a voice, agency, and even though she could only count a few things as her own, they were just that – her own.  Effie was a girl who belonged to nobody but herself.  

That was how she liked it.  

Naming herself instilled a new sense of confidence within her.  It was small, and it was gradual, but the people around her could notice it.  Matthew knew he could.  She was more assertive…in her own way.  She didn’t ask “Can I ask you a question?” before asking questions anymore.  She just asked.  She was proud of her learning and was getting used to showing it off.  Her independence increased.  She’d walk to Starbucks to get her strawberry frappucinos instead of having Jenna drive her.  She engaged in more conversation.  She made jokes.  She laughed at jokes.  She went grocery shopping with Jenna and said “I want to buy corn dogs” so she and Jenna bought corn dogs and they had them for dinner one night.  She went to Levi and said “I want to get a phone so I can text Annica” and so he gave her an old iPhone he had in the house.  She asked Annica more about makeup, even though she was still a bit apprehensive about using it.  She asked Geneviève about words she’d read and wanted to know more about.  Feminism (that was the best word she learned, Effie thought.  She was a feminist).  Socialism.  Communism.  Democracy.  Geneviève explained them all to her.  She asked Geneviève about pants.

She wore pants.

It was weird at first, wearing pants.  She’d only ever worn skirts and dresses, even in the privacy of her own home when she was in the cult.  The prophet demanded it; women were not allowed to wear pants.  So when Jenna encouraged her to try on an old pair of jeans that she had, Effie did.  They were big – Effie was still, well, small, and gaining weight every day – but Effie liked them.  “Can I buy a pair of jeans?” she asked Jenna.  Jenna promised to take her shopping at the mall on the weekend.  It would be Effie’s first time in a mall. 

Effie wanted to be fearless, but there was still a lot of fear in her.  Everything was so new, and so big, and sometimes so complicated, and she wished things were easier but she knew they couldn’t be.  But instead of before, when she would let the fear overcome her, she embraced it instead.  She worked through it.  She did things in spite of the fear.  She did things because she didn’t want the fear in her anymore.

That’s why she found herself walking now.  Walking to Starbucks.  Well, not to Starbucks exactly, but to the complex that held the Starbucks and a bunch of other stores.  Effie had noticed one particular one a few storefronts down and had taken mental note of it for when she was ready for it.  And now, walking with purpose through Aspen Woods, clutching something very important in the pocket of her jacket, she was ready.  

“Chop it all off.”

“What?!” the hairdresser shrieked as she looked at Effie through the mirror, after putting a robe around her and running her hands through her long blonde hair.  “But your hair!  It’s healthy and it’s long and luscious and—and it would be a disservice if I chopped it all off!”

“Please.  I need you to cut it.  I need you to—”

“This is the greatest head of hair I’ve ever seen—”

“You don’t understand,” Effie interrupted.  “I escaped a cult.  I escaped The People’s Dominion of Christ.  This hair was never mine; it was always someone else’s.  I need you to cut it off so that it’s mine, so that something on my body is mine for once in my life.”

The hairdresser looked at Effie through the mirror, blinking a few times as she realized what Effie was saying.  Without saying another word, she reached over to her station and grabbed her scissors.  “How much do you want off?” she asked.

Effie unfolded the picture from one of Jenna’s old magazines that she had crumpled in her hand, showing the stylist.  “Like this,” she said.  “I don’t even want it touching my shoulders.”

The hairdresser nodded, placing the picture face up at her station so Effie could look at it as the hairdresser did her magic.  She took one last look at it before tying an elastic loosely around the hair.  “Ready?” she asked, gripping it.

Effie nodded firmly.  “Ready.”

***

Effie had six numbers stored on her phone.  Levi.  Jenna.  Annica.  Geneviève.  Jacob Markstrom.  Matthew Tkachuk.  

“Hello?” he asked as he picked up his phone.  

His voice was a welcome sound to Effie, who was nervous but excited as she looked at herself in the mirror.  “Matthew?  I’m—I’m sorry to bother you, but can you come pick me up?”

“I—yeah—is everything okay?” his voice sounded immediately worried.  “Where are you?”

Effie didn’t even know.  She covered the receiver with her hand and turned towards the hairstylist.  “What’s the address?”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13.”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13,” she repeated into the phone.

Matthew was officially confused.  “The Starbucks complex?”

“Yes…but a few stores down,” Effie informed him.

“I��ll be there in like, five minutes.”

***

Matthew was nervous.  Effie hadn’t sounded nervous on the phone, but he was still nervous.  It was out of the ordinary for her to call him to pick her up from anywhere, let alone from a place where she knew how to get home from now that she took the initiative to walk most places she wanted to go.  It wasn’t like he was going to deny her – he was speeding through the streets, if he was being completely honest – but the thoughts in his mind were running a mile a minute, and he had no clue what to expect.  

When he pulled into the complex, he searched for unit 13 and parked right in front of it.  It was only when he turned off his car that he actually saw the name of the store he’d parked in front of.  Abigail’s Hair Salon.

Matthew walked in.

He stopped dead in his tracks.  In front of him, Effie stood sheepishly, her long, flowing blonde hair chopped off almost completely, and in its place, a chic blonde bob, perfectly styled and perfectly her.  She had a t-shirt, baggy skinny jeans, and old Doc Martens on – no doubt all borrowed from Jenna – and she looked like a vision.  He couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face.  “Effie,” he said her name bashfully, breathlessly, because it was so much to take in and she just looked so…cute.  

“Does it look nice?” she asked, patting it down at the sides.  

“It looks great, Effie,” Matthew said, and she could tell he meant it sincerely.  He bit his bottom lip before continuing his line of questioning, even though all he wanted to do was look at her.  “You wanted it this short?”

Effie nodded her head.  

“It suits you,” he nodded.  “Did you pay?”  Effie nodded her head.  “Did you tip?”

Effie looked scared for a moment.  “Tip?”

Matthew automatically took out his wallet and pulled a $50 from inside, giving it to the hairstylist.  He turned to Effie without another word.  “Wanna grab some lunch?”

“You—you’re not busy?  I thought you would just drive me home.”

“Let’s grab lunch,” he said casually, like it was no big deal.  “Grab your jacket.  What do you feel like eating?”

***

Matthew watched Effie for most of the meal, if he was being honest.  He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her regardless of how hard he tried.  But he kept any emotions or any feelings at bay, kicking himself for anything he was feeling that was…questionable.  He didn’t want to be that guy.  He didn’t want to make things more complicated for her when she was already learning so much, when the world was already a complicated place for her and she was trying to find her place in it.  

“What team does your brother play for?” Effie asked, picking at her plate left with all her fries.  She ate her bacon cheeseburger first and devoured it in less than ten minutes.  For Matthew, it was impressive.  He knew she was trying to gain weight.  He shuddered to think what she looked like a year ago.  

“The Ottawa Senators,” he replied.

“In the capital city,” she said, and Matthew nodded his head.  “You must be very thankful that he’s in Canada with you.  What about your sister?”

“She plays field hockey at the University of Virginia.”

Matthew watched as Effie furrowed her brows.  “She can play sports and go to university?  That’s a thing?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Matthew smiled, chuckling slightly.  “She’s a great field hockey player.  She committed to the school when she was a junior – when she was sixteen – and now she’s finally on campus.  She’s going to school too, obviously.  That’s the most important thing.  But she’s also playing Division 1 field hockey.”

Effie nodded her head, considering all the things Matthew had just said.  Women could go to university – she knew that now thanks to Jenna and Geneviève.  But…women could play sports and go to university?  Women could play sports for their university?  That was new information.  Effie thought about girls playing hockey and whether or not they could do the same thing.  She thought to Levi watching Toronto Raptors games at home and wondering if women could do the same thing with basketball.  She had not been allowed to play sports.  Anything more than running, women were not allowed to do.  Taryn had been sixteen and had committed to play field hockey for a university.  When Effie was sixteen, she was definitely not doing that.  “Your sister is very lucky,” she said softly.  “To be able to do that.  She’s very lucky.”

Matthew knew there was weight behind those words.  They weren’t to be taken lightly.  He could only imagine what Effie was up to when she was sixteen years old as opposed to Taryn.  “She knows,” Matthew said.  “Taryn’s a really smart girl.  She knows she’s really lucky.”

“It’s kind of nice how in the normal world, women can go to university, and get an education, and play sports, and do whatever they want, and wait to have their children,” Effie said.

Matthew shrugged.  “If they even want kids at all.  I know some of my friends back home don’t want them.  Nobody says women have to have them,” he said it like a throwaway comment, looking down at his plate to grab a fry and dip it in some ketchup.

Silence.  Pure silence from Effie.  He stuck his fry in his mouth and noticed how quiet it got and he looked up with half the fry in his mouth and half the fry still between his fingers, like a dumbass, only to see Effie staring at him with a blank look on her face.  When he looked closer, he saw her eyes were glossy.  He gulped.  “Wh…What do you mean that women don’t have to have children?” she asked.

Matthew chose his words carefully.  He should have known.  He should have fucking known, but he just had to go open his big mouth.  Now, he realized the words he was about to say would change Effie’s perception of things dramatically.  The last thing he intended was for the conversation to swerve in a direction like this, but they were here now, and he had to live with it.  Own up to his actions.  Be the person he promised himself he would be around her.  “So, like…women in modern society have the choice.  They can choose not to have children.  Some women don’t want to become mothers.  It’s a personal choice.  And nowadays, women don’t feel as pressured to have families.  Like, maybe they want to pursue a career instead, but it’s not even that.  You can just…not want children.”

Effie had heard the word of God her entire life.  It was the first thing she remembered; it was her earliest memory.  Some days – on bad days – it was her only memory, the thing that haunted her most at night, and she’d toss and turn in her bed to try and get the rolls and rolls of scripture out of her head.  Be fruitful and multiply.  Be fruitful and multiply.  Be fruitful and multiply.  But this – what Matthew was telling her – this was not the word of God.  This was something else.  This went against everything she knew.  This went against everything she was brought up to believe.  “Oh, okay,” she whispered.  

Matthew could tell he had just said something to Effie that rocked her foundation.  And then he thought to himself ‘Of course this would be happening.  Everything is new for her.’   The modern world was completely alien to her.  She didn’t know anything.  No women’s liberation.  No women’s rights.  No individuality.  Voting.  Elections.  Doctors.  Hospitals.  Jeans.  T-shirts.  Wearing her hair however she wanted.  Makeup.  Cell phones.  Instagram.  Twitter.  Snapchat.  Hockey – literally the most unimportant thing at this point.  She was learning, and making great progress, but things like this – these big ideas – still shook her to her core.  They went against everything she knew and everything she was brought up to believe.  It wasn’t easy for any person to have their foundation cracked; Matthew knew it would be even harder for her.

“Can you excuse me for a second?” Effie said suddenly, not bothering to hear an answer from Matthew before she pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, escaping back into the restaurant.  

Matthew felt like there was cement in his feet as he replayed the moment over and over in his mind, the sight of Effie’s glossy eyes realizing children were optional in the real world burning itself into his mind forever.  God, to find out this way – over bacon cheeseburgers at some restaurant and not in a safe space where she felt comfortable.  To have it be him, a man, that told her this instead of someone like Jenna, or Geneviève, who had been teaching her everything.  He was an idiot.  He was such an idiot.

A jolt of electricity struck through his body and finally jolted him out of his seat, his legs making him run towards the back of the restaurant near the washrooms where he knew Effie went.  “Effie?  Effie?” he called out as he opened the door to the women’s washroom.

When he stepped inside, he saw Effie huddled in a heap on the floor, her knees to her chest as tears flowed down her face.  Her skin was red and blotchy and he could see her chest heaving up and down.  “Effie—” he bent down to be at eye level with her.

“I need you to take me home.”

“Effie—” he reached out to touch her.

The second – the millisecond, the nanosecond – that Effie felt his touch for the first time, her entire body flinched so violently away from him that it scared him.  Matthew recoiled his hand quickly as his breath caught in his throat.  “I’m sorry—I’msosorry—I’m so sorry—” he stuttered out.  

She was silent as she looked at him for a moment through her tears.  There was a look of pure fear in her eyes that Matthew hadn’t seen before, not even the first time he met her at Noah’s birthday at the steakhouse.  “What if women can’t have children?” she asked, her voice so small and frail that it broke Matthew’s heart.

He struggled to find the words because it was such a simple concept for him but such a complicated one for her.  “That’s…that’s not their fault,” he said calmly, but the tone of obviousness was still apparent.  

“What do you mean it’s not their fault?” Effie’s tone was incredulous, like a seven-year-old child learning prematurely that there was no Santa Claus.

“It’s not their fault, Effie,” he reiterated, not knowing how else to explain it.  “I…it’s not their fault.  It can be a medical thing.  I mean most of the time it is, if they can’t have children.  And it’s not their fault,” he just kept repeating it.

“What if…what if women don’t want to have children, but can?  Are…are they punished?” she asked.

“Why would they be punished?  No,” he shook his head.

“Matthew…” she was apprehensive.  “Are you telling the truth?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you Effie,” he said softly, wanting so desperately to just reach out and touch her, hug her, but knowing that if he did, he’d just inflict more fear in her.  “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s the truth.  Some women can’t have children, and some of them don’t want children, and both of those things are perfectly okay.”  He watched as the tears streamed down her face as she stared him in the eye.  Shaking.  

Then it finally hit him like a ton of bricks.  

“Effie…” he said uneasily.

“There were seven.”

The words hung in the air for an unknown amount of time.  It could have been years for all Matthew knew.  But as he stared into Effie’s eyes, he felt an incredible pain in his heart; a pain reserved only for her, that only she could give him.  He thought of how she kept all her own pain inside her constantly, how the trauma was a part of her just as her hair, her fingers, her toes were.  She carried this with her every single day.  Every.  Single.  Day.

“It’s not your fault, Effie,” he whispered.  He knew better than to try to reach out and touch her again.  So he settled on words, because words were his best option.  “It’s not your fault.”

***

“Did you really think you’d be able to come to a therapist’s office and think you’d be able to discuss a patient?”

Matthew stared at Dr. Jessica Barlow sitting across from him – her seated on her plush chair, him sitting on the couch he was sure all her patients sat on – and he didn’t really appreciate her tone of voice.  So maybe it wasn’t the most flawless plan.  Maybe there were holes.  But he was there, damnit, and there for a good reason.  The best reason.  She was the best psychotherapist that specialized in cults in Alberta – probably in western Canada, judging by how many degrees and certificates and awards she had displayed in her office.  She was the best and most qualified person to help Effie, surely, which is why Effie met with her three times a week.  That meant she was also the best and most qualified person to help Matthew.

“Maybe,” he mumbled out.  Matthew would have been intimidated, but for some reason, he wasn’t.  Even considering they were alone in her office, even considering he’d never met or been to a therapist before, he wasn’t nervous or intimidated.  He was determined.  “I need you tell me what I need to do.  Tell me.  Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“For who?”

“Effie Schaffer.”

Dr. Barlow looked incredulous, like a mix between seeing a ghost and not believing the words that were coming out of Matthew’s mouth.  But then he watched as her face softened slightly, and turn inquisitive instead of suspicious.  “You’re Matthew,” she said, framing it as a statement more than a question.

He knew what that meant.  “Effie’s told you about me?” he asked.

It was a lost cause – he knew that the second the question left his lips, because he knew Dr. Barlow wouldn’t tell him a word.  Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that.  If dentists couldn’t even talk about their patients, there was no way in hell a psychotherapist who worked with cult survivors would say a peep about anything.  “Effie’s opened up to you quite a bit, hasn’t she?”

Matthew leaned in.  “Yes.  That’s why I need you to help me.  I want – I need to know how to help her.”

“Matthew,” Dr. Barlow took off her glasses.  “First you need to tell me why you want to do this,” she said matter-of-factly.  

Matthew didn’t want this to become a session.  It wasn’t about him; it was about Effie.  “I’ve just become her friend, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately, and—and I just want to know what I can do to help her get even better.”

“Because you’re her friend.”

“Yes.”

“Because you care about her.”

“Well, yes.  I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about her in any capacity.”

Dr. Barlow paused.  “It’s not that simple, Mr. Tkachuk—”

“Why not?” he asked, interrupting her.  “She’s leaps and bounds better than when she escaped!  At least according to her brother!” he defended himself.  “Listen, I know it hasn’t been a long time that I’ve known her but I – damnit, I can help her.  I can help her but I don’t want to hurt her – I never want that to happen ever again, even if it’s by accident, and you need to tell me.  You need to tell me how I can do that so I can actually do it.”

Dr. Barlow stayed silent.  “You’ve already been incredibly patient with her,” she chose her words wisely.  Matthew could read between the lines.  So maybe Effie spoke about him more than he initially thought.  “We should just leave it at that.  I appreciate the effort, but—"

“She told me how there were seven,” he said, his voice steady and calm but firm and resolute.  When he looked up at Dr. Barlow, she was staring back at him with a stoic yet shocked look on her face.  “She told me there were seven, and when I tried to—to console her, to touch her, the way her body jumped away from mine…I…” he trailed off.  He rubbed his fingers against his lips nervously.

“So then you know and realize that Effie was a member of a religious cult where she was routinely raped by its leader so he could impregnate her with the son of God for almost five years.”

It was the first time the word had been said out loud.  He didn’t want to repeat it.  He wanted it burned from his memory, from Effie’s memory, from the dictionary, everywhere.  He knew it happened but he didn’t want to admit it to himself.  Saying the word out loud made it different; it made it real.  It made him acutely aware of the trauma Effie had been through, and how she didn’t deserve any of it, yet she was burdened with it for the rest of her life.  He was biting down on his bottom lip so hard he thought he’d draw blood.  “Yes,” he said curtly.  “I realize.”

“I know how close – relatively – you and Effie have gotten ever since you were introduced.  Her progress has increased dramatically since it,” Dr. Barlow began, again choosing her words wisely.  “I know everything you two talk about on your Starbucks dates.  I know you introduced her to candy and watched Little Women with her.  Matthew – I’m not telling you this because I’m making some point that Effie tattles and tells me everything about her relationship with you.  I’m telling you this because you’ve already been doing what you need to do.  You didn’t need to come here and ask me for specifics.”

“But I don’t want to hurt her,” Matthew said, his voice barely above a whisper.  “What happened that day when she told me and when—when I tried to touch her…”

“It might take a while for her body not to seize up anytime a man touches her,” Dr. Barlow said.  “That doesn’t mean she’s not making progress.  It’s the mental progress we want to see.  And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, either.  Just give her time, Matthew.  Exercise patience with her.”

***

The next time Matthew saw Effie, she didn’t know he was coming.  But he called Levi and made sure it was okay, and so when he descended down the stairs into the basement and saw Effie’s bedroom door opened, he took a deep breath.  He collected himself.  And he moved forward.  He knew he didn’t have to do this – any outsider would have said that – but he knew he needed to do it.  He needed to make it right.

“Effie?” he knocked lightly on her door before stepping into the door frame, finding her sitting at her desk reading something.  

She turned her head to look at him and a smile appeared on her face.  It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders to see her smiling.  He didn’t exactly think she’d be cradled in a corner crying, but he did think that maybe she wouldn’t be happy to see him.  It was a relief.  “Hi Matthew.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Of course,” she nodded, pushing her desk chair out as he walked in slowly.  “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been okay…” he said, biting down on his bottom lip nervously.  “How—I mean, have you been okay since that day?”

He saw something flash behind her eyes – a memory of the tears, the feeling, the questions.  He knew he relived it every other minute since it happened because he felt so guilty about it.  He wondered if Effie relived it every moment too and whether or not it brought her constant pain.  Matthew would never forgive himself if it did.  “I’ve been good.  Learned a lot, as you can imagine,” she joked slightly.  “I read up on what we talked about.  Geneviève helped me.”

“So you know it’s a thing now.”

Effie nodded.  “It made me realize I never want children.”

Matthew should have been shocked by that statement, but he wasn’t.  Knowing what Effie had been through, he understood why she wouldn’t want them.  It was her choice to make and hers only, and nobody could or should influence her otherwise.  “That’s good.  Good that you can…you know, say that out loud.  That you’re not forced into something you don’t want anymore.”

Effie nodded her head.  “I knew it all along.  I mean, children are a blessing, but they’re not for me.  And knowing the way I was brought up, with abuse and no loving parenting from my parents or from anyone around me, I don’t want to pass that legacy on.  I’m too scared to fall back into that.  I’d have no idea how to raise a child.  I know that now,” she said, watching as Matthew walked further into the room and lean back slightly on her desk.  She looked up at him.  There was a moment of silence between them as they were just there, staring at each other in her bedroom.  Effie tried not to get lost in his blue eyes.  She wondered if he could see past her calm exterior.  “I’m sorry that I flinched away from you that day,” she said quietly.  

“I should be the one apologizing—”

“No,” she said as sternly as she could, getting him to stop.  “You don’t have to apologize for anything.  You didn’t hurt me that day, so don’t think you did.  I just…I get apprehensive about touch, because we weren’t allowed to, and because once I finally was, it wasn’t…nice,” she revealed, knowing he’d get the point.  “But I know that your touch is nice.”

“How do you know?” Matthew asked.

“Because you’re a nice person.”

She took it upon herself to look at his hands.  They were on either side of his body, gripping her desk just in case it collapsed under his weight or something – who knows.  But they were there, exposed, for her to look at.  They were big – bigger than Abraham’s – and younger, of course, rougher around the edges due to hockey but still better than the only other pair of hands she’d had experience with.

He caught her looking.  Slowly, almost painstakingly slowly, he brought his right hand up and opened it, palm facing her, fingers pointing up towards the sky.  He watched as Effie brought her hand up too, even slower than he had, opening it up and facing her palm towards his.  There were a few moments where she was stagnant, thinking about how this was the first time she was going to touch a man other than her predator fake husband or her brother.  Then she moved her hand closer.  Closer.  Closer.

When she finally touched Matthew – when she finally touched him – a million electric bolts ran through her body.  The feeling of his skin on hers, his delicate yet rough touch as she pressed her small hand into his large one so she could feel his entire hand on her hand – it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.  The simplest action gave her the most surreal feeling.  There were no words for it.  No words, in fact, because all she could do was smile.  A big, wide smile, spanning from ear to ear as she kept her hand against his.

Matthew smiled too.  

***

“This was a very quick progression from ‘Can women get tattoos?’ to ‘I’m getting a tattoo’, you know,” Geneviève laughed as she and Annica watched Effie take a seat in the tattooist’s chair.  The tattoo artist, a young woman with sleeves of her own, was preparing everything appropriately as the women chatted.  “The turnover rate was, what, a week?”

“Less,” Annica giggled.  

“When I went to the orthodontist’s when I was ten, I saw a man there with his entire arm covered in tattoos.  I was so scared I started crying.  I asked the prophet about it when I got back to Sheerness and he said they were marks of sinners and that the devil influenced them,” Effie laughed along with them.  “But I see them on people at Starbucks all the time.  I think they look really nice.”

“And you’re absolutely sure you want what you’ve requested?  You’re not gonna regret it, right?” Annica wanted to make sure Effie was making the right decision.

Effie nodded her head emphatically.  “Definitely.  Definitely.”

“What is it?  Can we see it?” Geneviève asked.  

Effie shook her head.  “I want it to be a surprise,” she said, biting her lip.  “You guys don’t think I’m crazy, do you?  Doing this to my body?”

“Absolutely not,” Geneviève replied automatically, her tone telling Effie that the notion was absurd.  It was nice for Effie to know that the two women in front of her would never judge her.  It was nice to know a woman could be supported in her decisions, and not be told it would make God angry and that she was sinning and going against the prophet.  “It’s your body, remember?  Your body, your choice.”

Effie nodded after a moment.  “My body, my choice.”

***

“It’s still a bit red and itchy.  Annica said I need to put an elastic around my wrist and snap it whenever I want to itch it,” Effie said, her voice filled with excitement but a certain anxiousness that was characteristic to her.  

“It’s alright.  Just show me,” Matthew smiled as he watched her roll up the sleeve of her cardigan.  When she finally did, and stretched out her arm, Matthew’s mouth gaped open.  “It’s huge!” he exclaimed, definitely not expecting it to be that big.  He thought Effie would get a dainty tattoo; something small.  He didn’t exactly think she’d have a “go big or go home” attitude about a tattoo – something on her body forever.  But it was big.  It took up at least two-thirds of her forearm.  The linework and shading were impeccable; the detail exquisite.  It was made up of flowers – he didn’t know what kind – but they were big and small, all sizes really, and there were a few leaves, a few stems, and it just looked so beautiful.  He brought his hand up to touch, but stopped himself.  “Can I?” he asked.

Effie nodded.  “You can touch me,” she said, preparing herself.

Matthew brought his hand up slowly.  He touched her arm, grazing his fingertips over the linework delicately.  It was still bumpy, a testament to how new it was.  “It looks amazing, Effie,” he whispered, his fingers still grazing delicately.  

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet.”

“The best part?” he arched his eyebrow.  What could be better than this?

She turned her arm over, palm facing up, where another large flower was tattooed on her skin.  Matthew noticed some handwriting along the flower, and he leaned his head down to read it.  ‘I am mine before I am anyone else’s’.

Matthew smiled from ear to ear.  “Effie,” he whispered bashfully, just like he had when he saw that she cut her hair short for the first time.  He was so bashful because he was so happy to be seeing her making her own decisions for once in her life.  “Do you love it?” he asked.

She nodded enthusiastically.  “I love it so much.  It’s mine.  It’s mine.”

***

“Did Jenna make these?” Matthew asked Levi once he was done with his stretches, noticing a giant Tupperware filled with some sort of cookies.  Matthew had seen some of the other guys in the locker room with them and decided to investigate.  He took a massive bite of one and his entire mouth watered.  In that short moment, he was sure he’d never had a cookie so good in his life.  “These are phenomenal,” he said with a full mouth.

“Nah, Jenna’s not a baker,” Levi shook his head.  “Effie made those.”

Matthew’s brows rose.  He gulped the bite of the cookie down.  “Effie?  Effie bakes?”

Levi smirked, side-eyeing him.  “Effie knows how to make and churn butter from scratch.  She had to learn in the cult.  She knows how to bake and cook a lot of things because she had to be a traditional wife.  But she enjoys baking the most.  Baking is what brings her the most joy, so she’s started baking again.”

Matthew nodded nonchalantly.  “She can bake all kinds of stuff then?”

“Bread, sweet stuff…yeah, pretty much,” he said.  “She actually…well, she’s trying to find a job where she can put it to good use, since she actually likes doing it.”

“Effie’s getting a job?!” Matthew exclaimed, louder than he intended.  Levi could only chuckle.  Matthew felt the need to cover.  “Where?  What—where?  What’s she gonna do?  How is she—I mean, why?”

“She’s gotta support herself, doesn’t she?  If she wants to move out, or earn her own money—”

“Effie’s moving out?!”

“She’s not moving out tomorrow, Matthew, but she’s going to be moving out soon.”

This was all news to Matthew, of course.  He tried to play it cool, calming himself down and not making a big deal out of it – well, more than he already had.  The fact that Levi, Jenna, and Effie were discussing jobs and moving out had absolutely nothing to do with him.  He was just on the outside.  He didn’t need to be part of the decision making at all…at all.  But he still got nervous.  Effie was still learning about a lot.  And ultimately, at the end of the day, he wanted her to be safe.  A safe job.  A safe apartment.  “Where’s she looking?”

“There’s a cute little hipster coffee shop in the downtown core she has an interview with,” Levi informed him.  “If she gets the job, and if she enrols in the online business certificate program Geneviève recommended to her, I promised to pay three months worth of rent until she can pay it on her own.  She’d earn enough from minimum wage and tips for sure, especially downtown.”

Hipster coffee shop.  Online business certificate.  New apartment.  There was so much new information coming at Matthew that he didn’t know how to process it all.  He was happy for Effie – he was – and he wished her only the best, but it was still a lot.  “Well…when you need help moving, call me and we could put these muscles to work,” he said, flexing his arm for dramatic effect, trying to hide the fact that he so obviously cared, and miserably failing to hide that fact to Levi.

Levi let out a haughty laugh.  “I’ll be sure to mention it.”

***

Matthew downed a shot of tequila – the good tequila – and smashed his shot glass down on the bar as the smooth liquid coated his throat and made his stomach burn.  Noah let out a loud ‘Wooooo!’ and Sean, ever the dumbass, choked on it as it went down.  Matthew almost spit up the shot out of laughter watching Sean struggle to swallow it, picking up his glass of whisky the bartender had just poured.  “You’re already wrecked, buddy,” Matthew chastised him as he got control of his coughs.  “You’re embarrassing.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sean sneered.  “We all know you’re trying to get all your alcohol in before Effie gets here.”

Matthew chuckled.  “Fat chance of that happening.  Effie’s not coming.”

Sean rolled his eyes.  “Well, either I’m high or you’re wrong, because she just walked in the door.”

Matthew’s back stiffened as he whipped his head around to look through the crowd of people.  Sure enough, he could see Effie raising her hand to chest level so the bouncer at the door could stamp her hand.  Noah made a noise that sounded like a seagull and Sean let out a chuckle and a muffled “Dude owes me a fucking drink for that one”.  Before Matthew’s legs could move him forward, he noticed Meredith approach Effie; she hugged her and Effie allowed Meredith to grab her hand so she could guide her through the crowd and into their spot at the back of the lounge.  The music was loud and the floor felt like it was vibrating but it was nothing compared to the beat of Matthew’s heart.

Fuck.

When Meredith and Effie finally made their way through, he saw that Effie was wearing Jenna’s ballet flats, skinny jeans that were still a bit big, and a sequined top that fit so big any other girls in the club would have probably worn it as a dress.  He could feel the whisky burning his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

“Effiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!” Claudia squealed once she noticed her, sauntering over to her in her high heels and bending down to hug her.  “You made it!  I’m sooooo happy!” she continued squealing.  Matthew wondered if Effie noticed that Claudia was already drunk.  “Is this your first time in a place like this?”

“Yeah,” Effie nodded her head nervously.  “I’m sorry—I—I know I wasn’t supposed to be here and I said no, but—”

“Are you kidding?  The more the merrier!  Let me take you to Andrew so you can say happy birthday!”

Matthew watched as Claudia led her to Andrew, tapping him on the shoulder to reveal Effie.  Andrew was happy to see her, and – knowing better than to go in for a hug – politely held his hand against his heart when she wished him a happy birthday.  None of the guys on the team had ever touched her – well, except Matthew.  He seemed to be the exception to a lot of things regarding Effie, and he was proud of that.  He didn’t want anyone else touching her, even if they were his teammates.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

“You came alone?” Andrew asked her.  Effie nodded.  “We’ll have to find you Matthew then.  He’d kill us if we didn’t tell him you were here.”

Matthew didn’t know what Andrew was saying – the music was too loud, and he couldn’t read lips – but the cement in his legs finally dissolved and he found himself walking over to them, wanting to make his presence known at that very moment.  When Effie saw him, he could swear her face lit up.  “Fancy seeing you here, Effie,” he smiled, holding his glass of whisky near his chest.

She went in for a hug.

Matthew was so shocked he almost didn’t hug her back.  Even Andrew was looking at them like he’d just seen a monkey perform a magic trick.  Matthew draped both arms around her and hugged her back, making sure not to spill his whisky all over her.  He tried not to let it seem like he was shocked – hugs should be a normal thing for Effie, he thought – so when she pulled away, he was already smiling down at her.  “What brought you here?”

“I wanted to see what these places are like,” she said when she pulled away.  She took a look down at his drink.  “Is that iced tea?”

“Whiskey.”

She looked around at everyone else, noticing they were all holding glasses with drinks in them too.  “Is everybody drinking alcohol?”

“Pretty much,” Matthew giggled out.

“I’ve never drunk alcohol before,” she revealed.

“Do you want to try some?”

“No,” she shook her head.  “I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay.  Do you want something to drink, then?  Some water?  I’m sure the bar can make you a virgin drink if you ask for it.”

“A virgin drink?”

“Virgin means no alcohol,” Matthew covered quickly.  “They’ll make you whatever you want.”

Matthew watched as Effie considered it, looking over to the bar before she shook her head.  “I’m not thirsty yet.  I’ll go when I’m thirsty.”

***

Effie didn’t dance.  She didn’t drink.  All she did was look.

By looking, she was learning.  She watched how people interacted with one another in this type of setting and she internalized it.  She watched girls approach the bar and get served by the bartender.  She watched as guys flirted with them and bought them drinks.  She watched people take shots and then ask for another.  She watched people get handsy, with touches on hips and lower backs and arms the most popular spots she saw men putting their hands on women.  She watched people drag one another towards the dance floor.  She watched kisses being placed on necks and shoulders and lips, tongues dragging across, shocked that people would be doing so out in the open.  She watched girls raise their drinks in the air and kick their leg up as they posed for photos with their friends.  She watched girls move their hips seductively.  She watched guys getting their bodies as close to them as possible.  

“What are they doing?” she asked Matthew as she watched them dancing like a hawk.

“Uh…it’s called grinding.”

She’d talk, and ask questions, and Matthew was beside her the entire time answering her questions and milking his whisky, not caring that he wasn’t partying with Andrew or with the other boys, because when Effie was around, he was all about Effie – nobody else mattered.  He’d stay with her until last call if she wanted to stay that late.  He’d already resolved that he’d be going home when she was going home because he needed to make sure she got back to Aspen Woods safe, and also because there was no reason to be at the club when Effie was gone.

Did he hear himself?  Did he really just say there was no reason to be at a club full of beautiful girls during his friend’s birthday?

Fuck.  

Noah, Sean, and Johnny ended up coming back to the booth for some water.  Johnny made eyes at Matthew and Matthew subtly gave him the finger; Effie didn’t notice because she was looking over at the bar.  “I’m thirsty.  I’m going to go get a drink.”

“Let me go for y—”

“No,” she said sternly as Matthew was about to get up, standing up herself and holding her hand out.  “I’ve watched.  I know what I need to do.  I can go.”

Matthew gulped.  He didn’t want to deny her independence but he didn’t want her to go alone. “Are you sure?” he asked.  She nodded, and Matthew had to let her go.  And all he did was look.

***

Effie approached the bar slowly, trying not to get shoved around by people crowding around the bar.  It was much busier actually being in the crowd than just looking at it, and Effie was almost regretting her decision.  She’s never been in a place with so many people.  Well, that was a lie, maybe – church was always busy, obviously, especially the church for the People’s Dominion.  Sundays were the worst.  But there were definitely not this many young people congregated in one place.  Effie knew this is what young people did in the normal world – Geneviève told her so.  It was one thing to know about it, to be apart from it in a different area and watch; it was something completely different, actually being in it.  

She made her way to right behind a few people at the bar – some scantily clad girls with some really pretty dresses on.  Effie admired their beauty.  They had beautiful long eyelashes and their lips were red and berry-coloured.  Their skin was flawless and tanned – weird for April in Calgary, but tanned nonetheless.  Effie wondered if they were wearing makeup, and wondered whether or not she’d ever wear makeup herself.  When they got their drinks, they began to move.  One of them noticed Effie behind them and gave her a quick up-down.  “Take our place, sweetie,” she said, letting Effie move into their place before she watched them make their way through the crowd and back onto the dance floor.

After watching, she knew now she had to get the attention of one of the bartenders.  Every single one of them was busy pouring drinks.  She watched as a couple of men on the opposite end of the bar raised their hands and the bartenders went over to them, so she decided to do the same.  After a few minutes, a bartender came.  “What can I get you?”

“Um, water please.”

“You driving tonight, darling?”

Effie shook her head.  “I don’t drive.  I just don’t drink alcohol.”

“Do you want anything more exciting?  I mean I can at least get you ginger ale or a coke.”

Effie didn’t like coke – she thought it was too sweet – but when he mentioned ginger ale, she reconsidered.  “Okay.  Ginger ale is good.”

The bartender nodded, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice before getting the drink gun.  “Do you have a tab going?”

What was a tab?  Effie shook her head.  “What’s a tab?”

The bartender looked at her skeptically.  “How are you paying, darling?  Are you with a party?”

“Oh!  I’m here for Andrew’s party!  Andrew Mangiapane.”

“Got it,” the bartender winked.  “Here you go, darling.  Enjoy.”

Effie grabbed the drink and took a sip out of the straw.  It was nice and cold, just the way she liked it.  Just as she was about to leave and go back to Matthew, a big body slipped into the empty space beside her.  A man – a very large man, it seemed, though she was so small that every man looked large to her – took up all the space.  He was looking down at her with a very, very amused expression on his face.  “Ginger ale, girl?” he mocked her.

Effie couldn’t tell.  “What’s wrong with ginger ale?”

“You’re gonna come out to a bar looking like a walking felon and order ginger ale?” he pressed, winking at her.

“A walking felon?” she repeating.  She didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.

“Let me buy you a drink,” he said.  “A real drink.”

“I don’t drink.”

“Wanna start?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“That’s fine.  I can think of better things we can get up to than drinking, anyways,” he smiled.

Effie furrowed her brows.  “Like what?”

The guy smiled, and it was creepy, and she finally saw behind his eyes every thought and every intention he currently had.  “Let me show you,” he said, and Effie saw, out of the corner of her eye, that he was bringing his hand up to touch her.  At the same time, he was leaning his head down.

“HEY!” a loud voice boomed, and Effie immediately recognized it as Matthew’s.  Before she could even see him or realize where he was coming from, he squeezed his way in between him and the man.  Matthew’s hands were now on her body instead, the man’s hand nowhere near her.  “Get the fuck out of here, buddy.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“You touch her one more time and you’re fucking dead,” Matthew growled.

“Dead, eh?  So you get to touch her but I don’t?”

“Fuck off.”

Effie was taken aback by the anger in Matthew’s voice.  She’d never seen or heard him so angry.  She knew he was capable of it, by how he played hockey, but she didn’t think he’d be able to get this angry in a social setting.  Her body tensed up.  “Can we go back to our booth?” Effie asked loudly, placing her hand on Matthew’s, hoping to get his attention.  

Matthew looked back at her quickly, and when he saw the trepidation on her face, he immediately listened to her.  As he turned to leave, pushing Effie ahead of him with his hands still on her waist guiding her, he heard the man make one last call out to Effie.  “You don’t want to have some fun, girl?  I can show you a better time than this dick with my dick!”

Matthew had had it.  He knew he couldn’t punch out a guy in a bar.  He knew he couldn’t do much without causing a scene and the cops getting called and everything getting out of hand.  So instead, he used everything at his disposal to make his point, the most important thing being his size.  He turned around and flexed, standing up straight and making himself as physically big as possible, bumping up against the guy on the chest and backing him up against the bar.  He had only a few inches on the guy, but he was suddenly intimidated.  “You even so much as breathe in her general direction and I won’t hesitate to knock your teeth down your throat,” Matthew growled, making fists with his hands.  He didn’t even wait for the guy to say anything.  Instead, he just turned and walked away, noticing Effie waiting for him in the crowd.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, leading her out of the crowd and back to the booth.

“Are you sure, Matthew?”

“Positive,” he mumbled as they finally got to the booth.

Effie turned around to get a good look at him.  She knew he was lying because she could see how angry he was on his face.  She got nervous – really nervous.  “Matthew—”

“Did he touch you?  He didn’t touch you, did he?” Matthew demanded.  He needed the answer to be no so he could calm down.  

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

Everything in Matthew suddenly cleared.  All he saw – all he was able to see – was Effie’s face, and how nervous she was, and how she was looking up at him with a certain tenseness.  “Effie—no—I could never be mad at you.  I’m mad at that guy for being gross.”

He noticed Effie furrow her brows slightly.  “Was he trying to get me to have sex with him?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what he wanted.  But he was being gross and the second I saw him wedge his way into the bar I got up.”

Effie nodded.  “But you’re not mad at me, are you?” she asked again.

“Never, Effie.  Never.”

***

Annica had never been more flabbergasted or without words than when Effie asked her to explain what Instagram was.  Geneviève had to step in, giggling as she mixed together the baked feta pasta the girls were having for lunch.  “It’s supposed to be a platform for sharing pictures,” Geneviève explained.  “You know, like the book you’re reading, or where you’re going, if you go on vacation, or if you see something cool, or let’s say you go out to eat and you want to show what you’re eating…that sort of thing.”

“People want to know that stuff?” Effie asked innocently, causing the girls to giggle.  “People want to know that about me?”

“I’d love to follow you on Instagram.  I’d love to see how you see the world,” Geneviève said.  “It would be a breath of fresh air, to be honest.”

“How would it be a breath of fresh air if everybody is doing it?” Effie asked again.

“Everybody’s not doing it.  That’s the point,” Annica said.  “Instagram has transformed into this, like…God, I don’t even know what to call it.  It’s one big advertisement now.”

Effie considered what the girls were telling her.  She trusted them both, which is why she asked.  Annica talked about it a lot, and was on it a lot, which is why Effie became interested in it in the first place.  Geneviève was on it too, of course, running her own account and also having access to the account for her literary magazine Atomic (she’d given Effie a bunch of old copies to read through, and she was going to devour them right after she finished Geneviève’s book, which was technically a collection of essays).  For a girl who just wanted to be as normal as possible, it seemed to her like Instagram was the logical next step.  “Can…can you guys help me make a profile?”

“Of course,” Annica said as all three of them sat down at the table.  “We can do it after lunch.”

“I’m not your therapist, but you should use it to chronicle your journey and what you’re doing outside of the cult now,” Geneviève offered.  “That’s what I meant when I said I’d love to see how you see the world.  You can post all the things you’ve been baking recently, or the pretty things you see in Calgary when you’re out and about on one of your walks.”

The second that Geneviève mentioned ‘chronicle your journey’, it was like a switch went off in Effie’s brain.  She nodded her head.  “That’s what I’m gonna do.  Let’s make a profile after lunch.”

***

FOLLOW REQUEST: effieschaffer7

You have accepted effieschaffer7’s friend request.

Effie?????

Hi Matthew

U made an insta?

Is it okay if I follow you? Annica helped me

Yes of course it’s okay if u follow me

I am going to post my baking I think

That’s good! I will have to try some one day

When you get back from the road trip there will be something new.  Levi requested a lemon meringue pie and you can have some too if you want.

I’m gonna make sure Levi drives us home then

***

It was Effie who swung the door open excitedly.  Matthew was excited to try the lemon meringue pie, but apparently she was excited about something else.  Her eyes were as wide as the moon and as bright as the sun.  “I got the job!” she screamed.  

Levi dropped his bag as he screamed, catching her as she jumped from the doorway into his arms.  Matthew started cheering too and started clapping; it was only then that Effie even remembered he was standing there, but he really didn’t mind.  “Congratulations, Effie!” he smiled from ear to ear.  “Look at you go!”

She let go of her brother, but still held on to his arms.  “That means I can get the apartment!  That means I can pay for the tuition for the business program!  That means…I…I’m just so excited!”  She looked over at Matthew, seeing his smile, and did the unexpected.  

She hugged him.  She jumped into his arms just like she did with her brother and wrapped her arms around him tightly.  He reciprocated easily, wrapping his own arms around her too.  “That’s amazing, Effie!”

“I just—aaaahhhhheeeeeppppp!” she half yelled-half squealed, letting go of Matthew so they could get back inside.  April in Calgary was still cold.  Both Matthew and Levi set their bags down at the front door and walked straight to the kitchen, following Effie who was practically kicking her heels up.  “I can’t even speak!  I mean, this is—this is me getting to work!  I get to work!  I get to make my own living and make my own money!”

“You should be really proud of yourself,” Matthew said as he sat down on one of the kitchen stools.  “And you get to do something you like to do!  Not a lot of people get to say that.”

She nodded enthusiastically, opening the fridge.  “Here, try this,” she said, taking out the lemon meringue pie she had promised them.  “The owner of the coffee shop said I’m going to start with cookies and brownies and small stuff like that, and then maybe I can expand,” she said.

She cut the pie, plated it for her brother and Matthew, and handing them forks.  Matthew dug in automatically, shoving a giant piece in his mouth.  The second it hit his tongue, he groaned.  “Oh…oh Effie…” he said in between chews.  “This is gonna be dangerous.”

“Is it good?”

“You may need to bake me something every day, now, Effie.  Either that or I’m gonna come visit you every day.”

***

“Piiiiiiivvvooottttt!!!!!”

“If you say that one more time, I’m gonna kill you,” Matthew screamed at Sean holding the other end of the couch at the bottom of the stairs.  

“Piiiiiiiiivvv—”

“Monahan!”

“Is everything okay, boys?” Effie’s sweet voice asked from the top of the stairs, popping her head out of her brand new apartment.  

“We’re fine!” Matthew called out, not wanting her to worry.  “Monahan is just being a jackass!”

“Am not!”

They got the couch upstairs.  They got the bedframe upstairs.  They got the mattress upstairs.  In a little one-bedroom apartment above a storefront on 8th Avenue SW in downtown Calgary, Effie Schaffer was moving in.  Well, Effie was in her apartment unpacking boxes and organizing everything.  Levi, Matthew, Sean, and Jacob were helping move in her furniture.  She was going to thank them gracefully with another pie – this time, she’d experimented with a banana cream pie with salty bourbon caramel.  It was in the fridge waiting.  Each of them would get a nice big slice.

Geneviève came over for a bit, helping Effie with organizing the kitchen.  And Jenna dropped by after work, making sure everything was in order.  Jacob and his piece of pie left with Geneviève, and Levi and his piece of pie left once he knew everything was in order, and Sean and his piece of pie left after he and Matthew had finished putting the couch together.  Matthew hadn’t left with his piece of pie yet.  Matthew stayed.  

“This apartment is so great for you, Effie,” he said as he sat down on the couch, admittedly exhausted from all the hauling but despite that, still not wanting to leave.  There was so much to do and say and admire with Effie now that people weren’t around, and though he’d never admit it out loud to them, he always wanted to be alone with her.  It was different when he was alone with her.  With other people around, he couldn’t stare at her too long without being caught, or they couldn’t talk about things from their previous conversations that only they knew about.  With people gone, they could.  He’d stay until Effie told him to go home; if she would even tell him to go home.  He was unsure if she knew she could tell people to leave because she was tired or just wanted to be alone.

“Tomorrow Levi and I are going to go to the mall to get me a laptop for school,” she said, opening her fridge.  “My course starts in June.  It’s going to be really exciting.”

“That’s great,” he said, looking at her from the couch.  “It’s business, right?”

She nodded her head enthusiastically.  “Business administration.  Are you going to come try this pie or what?”

Matthew hauled his sore body off the couch and made his way towards the kitchen, standing next to Effie as she sliced a piece of the pie for him.  He reached over her head and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, setting them down.  Their bodies were close – purposely, he had to admit selfishly, on his part – so that every time she turned the pie and made a slice, her arm and elbow would touch him.  He watched as she carefully plated the slices.

Before she moved to grab the forks, she looked up at Matthew.  “Can I try something?” she asked timidly.

He furrowed his brows slightly.  “Of course.”

Effie hesitated, looking Matthew in the eye, wondering if she should really go through with what’s been on her mind since Andrew’s birthday party.  She resolved with herself to never let fear get in the way of her making a decision in her new life, especially now that she was free to make those decisions.  So she did it.  She did what she wanted to do.

Effie Schaffer stood on her tip-toes and kissed Matthew Tkachuk.  

It was light, chaste, and pure; no tongue, no longer than three seconds, and no warning.  But she kissed him.  With her eyes closed.  And for the first time in a long, long, long time, when she closed her eyes and kissed someone her body didn’t seize up.  When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t think of the other kisses she had to endure rather than enjoy.  When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t see Abraham.  Matthew’s lips were much softer; there was nothing about him like was like Abraham, not one atom on his body.  She liked it that way.  And the fact that she didn’t remember her past life when it happened made it all the better for her.

Matthew, for his part, was shocked.  Shocked that she, Effie Schaffer, who grew up abused in a cult and didn’t start wearing pants until just a few months ago, would do something so forward.  He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to happen, because he did, against all of his better judgement and the rational side of his brain telling him not to.  “Was that okay for you?” he asked softly.

Effie nodded.  “Of course it was.  I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think it would be okay for me.”

Matthew’s word vomit got the best of him.  “Do you think it—”

“Don’t talk to me like you’re my therapist please,” she said quickly.  “Talk to me like you’re a guy.”

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly.

Effie looked down, suddenly nervous.  She wasn’t second-guessing her decision to kiss him, but what she was doing now was wondering what Matthew thought of it.  He’d kissed her back.  He didn’t just stand there and take the kiss – he kissed her back.  He moved his lips too.  That meant something, right?  “Matthew?” she finally asked, her voice soft.

“Hmm?”

“Do you like me?” she asked.

“Of course I like you, Effie.”

“No, I mean do you…do you like me.  Like how boys like girls sometimes.”

Matthew looked her in the eye, his entire ego dropping to the pits of his stomach.  Having the completely inability to be able to lie to her, he gave her a quick nod of the head.  “Yeah, I do.”

Effie bit her bottom lip.  She didn’t know a lot, but she knew this was a huge moment.  But she swallowed hard, her thoughts getting the best of her.  “Even after everything that happened to me?”

Matthew’s heart broke.  It always did when he spoke with Effie.  “Of course,” he said simply.  “You’re not what happened to you.  You’re so much more than that, Effie.”

Effie nodded her head.  She knew that.  Dr. Barlow, Levi, Jenna, Geneviève – everyone important in her life had been telling her that.  She knew it was true, but she needed to hear the words from Matthew.  She couldn’t just assume them.  “I want to let you know that was the first time in my life that I’ve initiated…physical contact with a man,” she said quietly, her voice just above a whisper.  “I did it…I did it with you because I feel comfortable with you.  I wouldn’t have even thought about doing that a year ago but…but you’ve really helped me these past few months, and you make me feel so comfortable to try new things like corn dogs or kissing.  Even just…you know, touching.  I just want you to know that.”

Matthew nodded.  This was huge.  He was pretty sure he hadn’t let out a breath since her lips met his.  “I hope you always feel comfortable around me.”

“I think I will,” she said, smiling slightly.  

Matthew smiled.  “Well, in that case, can I kiss you again?”

“No.”

Matthew chuckled to himself.  Her deadpan delivery dissolved everything.  She was in total control.  “Fair enough.”

Effie moved to grab the forks from the drawer she was standing in front of.  Before she put them on the plates, she looked up at him again.  “But if I kissed you again, would you like it?”

Matthew nodded his head.  “Would you?”

Effie nodded her head.  

***

“What about this?” Matthew asked, pointing to a fake plant hanging from a little black pot.  “Everybody loves fake plants.”

Ikea had a lot of options – too many, if Effie was being honest.  But she nodded her head, and Matthew took the initiative to grab the plant and put it in the cart.  There were a bunch of frames already in there, and some decorative stuff for her new place.  “Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he looked down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I’ve got an Americano with room for milk for Matthew!” the barista called out, setting the drink down on the counter.  Matthew approached to grab his drink, bringing it to the other station where he was able to pour in his milk and two packs of brown sugar before popping the lid on.  He rejoined Effie.

“Does it feel like you’re cheating when I bring you to Starbucks?” he asked her in a light-hearted tone.

“Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he was already looking down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I think these are your best ones yet,” Matthew said through a mouth full of chocolate-dipped almond biscotti.  Effie was trying out recipes.  He was her unofficial-official taste-tester.  The whole team was, really.  And if they sold well in the coffee shop, the manager would allow her to expand.  So far, so good.  “I love the almond flavour.  It’s there but it’s not too strong, you know?”

He watched as Effie nodded her head.  “Matthew?” she asked, looking at him eye-to-eye since he was sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen.

He knew what was coming.

She leaned forward and kissed him.  His lips tasted like almonds.

***

“Are you excited for the movie?” Matthew asked as he poured the popcorn from the steaming hot bag into the bowls Effie got for them.

“Very,” she nodded.  Tonight they’d be watching Emma, the 2020 movie version of Jane Austen’s classic.  Effie liked to see all the amazing clothes the women used to wear.  A part of her wanted to dress up like that now, but she knew she’d get stared at.  The other part of her never wanted to wear a dress again if she didn’t have to.  “Matthew?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he looked down at her.  He knew what was coming.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

It was always when the two of them were alone.  It never happened when she would wait for him and Levi and Jacob with Jenna and Geneviève after games.  It never happened if they were ever out with a big group, or even just with Levi and Jenna.  Matthew was sure Effie had told them she was kissing him – she probably told Dr. Barlow too, now that he thought about it – but nobody had ever approached him about it.  “I heard you’ve been kissing Effie.”  

It was always the same, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.  They were alone.  They were usually doing something mundane.  Then Effie would ask “Matthew?” in her soft, sweet voice.  He’d look down at her.  She’d go on her tip-toes, and she’d kiss him.

It was always initiated by her.  

***

“Can I take you out on a date?” Matthew asked one day when they were alone in her apartment.  

Effie looked shocked.  Surprised, even, though Matthew didn’t think the question was out of the ordinary.  “You…you want to go out on a date with me?” she asked.

“Yes, of course I do,” Matthew said, wanting there to be no doubts in her mind.  “You know that I like you, Effie.  I think it’s something that could be really fun for you…for us.”

Effie was deep in thought – Matthew could tell.  She nodded slightly.  “We have been doing a lot of kissing lately…” she mused.  He couldn’t help but smile, even though it faded slightly when she looked up at him nervously.  “Matthew, I—I’ve never been on a date before.”

“I figured as much.”

“I mean, I—even with Abraham.  He never—I mean, I was just told I was marrying him because he wanted me.  I told you that.  But even before that.  Women couldn’t date.  Nobody could—I mean most couples were just thrust together, but—but—women weren’t even allowed in the same room alone with the opposite sex because we’d tempt them.”

“I know Effie, it’s okay,” he said softly.  “Listen, if you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to.  But you know that I like you.  And I know you like me too.  It’s what people do when they like each other.  So if you’ll let me, we could go out for dinner or something.  Nothing too big or fancy.  Just a dinner.”

If she went on a date with Matthew, Effie would be giving a giant middle finger to her past.  She would be asserting her agency in making her own choices.  She’d be doing something she wasn’t allowed to do for eighteen years of her life.  It was an action of justice at its very core – going on a date with a boy because she liked him and found him attractive.  She wasn’t even allowed to touch other men besides her husband less than two years ago because of his abusive and totalitarian “sermons”.  She remembered back to her begging to her mother not to get married at fourteen and her mother refusing to listen to her.  Here was Matthew saying “If you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to.”  

Effie nodded her head.  “I want to go out on a date with you.”

Matthew smiled bashfully.  He was sure his cheeks were going to turn red like some sort of teenager.  “What kind of food d’you wanna eat?”

***

“How’d you get that shiner, buddy?” Sean asked.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

“What the hell happened to you?” Johnny asked the moment he saw him in the locker room.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

Mark Giordano was not happy to see one of his star players show up to the arena with a black eye.  But he didn’t want to confront Matthew in a full locker room, so he waited until there was only a few people around – and even then, they were far away enough that he knew they wouldn’t really pick up on the conversation.  “What the fuck happened to your eye?” Mark asked, approaching Matthew

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled, not even looking at his captain.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows.  There had to be something, a clue of some sort, to help him get to the bottom of this.  It was nobody’s birthday, so Matthew hadn’t gone out to a bar.  He didn’t get into a fight or scuffle on the ice that was too bad, so it couldn’t have been that either.  But then Mark remembered.  “I thought you spent time with Effie last ni—”

“I said I’m not gonna talk about it!” Matthew hissed as he got up abruptly, stomping away and leaving the room.

Mark took a deep breath in, putting his hands on his hips.  Kids.  He had to get to the bottom of this.  It was in his nature.  And as captain, he took his role seriously.  He needed to make sure his teammates were okay.  The media was definitely going to pick up on the black eye, and they’d need a good cover.  He left the locker room, following the path Matthew took, knowing he was probably letting off some steam in an empty trainer’s room.  Mark popped his head into two of them before finding Matthew in a third, facing away from the door and taping his stick.  Mark knew Matthew heard him walk in and shut the door behind him, but Matthew didn’t turn around.

“Sit,” Mark said sternly.

Matthew took a deep breath in but did as he was told.  He wasn’t going to defy Mark – he respected him way too much.  And he knew he had out let out the steam by telling someone, and Mark was probably the best person to tell.  

Mark sat down casually beside him, hunched over with his elbows on his knees so it looked like they were about to have a casual conversation, just in case anyone else barged in.  “Tell me what happened.”

Matthew took a deep breath.  “I took her out on a date last night.”

“Effie.”

“Yeah,” Matthew nodded slightly.  “And it was nice.  We went to a really nice Italian restaurant downtown.  She was having so much fun.  And she came back to my place and—”

“Please don’t tell me—”

“No no—it wasn’t—no,” he emphasized.  “I might be an idiot but I’m not that much of an idiot.”

“You can’t fault me for thinking it.”

Matthew shook his head.  “She came back to my place and I guess—well, I guess because the whole thing was so new for her, it was mentally exhausting.  She sorta kept saying how tired she was.  I told her she could stay over.  And it was fine.  We were just sleeping in the same bed.”

“And then?”

Matthew grumbled.  “And then I moved.”

There was a pause.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

***

“I’m so sorry,” Effie whispered through tears, looking at Matthew’s back as he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing a bag of frozen peas against his face.

The entire night had been lovely.  She’d felt so good, and so comfortable, and so normal.  The food was delicious.  The walk through the park was magical.  The thing’s they’d talked about ran through her mind the entire night.  They hadn’t stopped talking.  They’d gone back to his place.  She was tired.  He suggested she stay over, knowing Levi wouldn’t mind.  She agreed.  She borrowed an old t-shirt and shorts.  They’d fallen asleep in his bed.  And it was lovely.  

And then at some point, in the middle of the night, with Effie’s back facing Matthew as he switched positions in his sleep, all she felt was a body pressing up against her slightly.  So she did the only thing she needed to do.

She punched him.  Hard.  

She hit between his eye and nose.  A loud “FUCK!” escaped him after the sound of skin hitting skin permeated through his bedroom.  Her body seized up and, like countless times before, she jumped out of bed.  When she turned around to look down at the bed, Matthew was clutching his eye in pain.  It was then that she realized just that – it was Matthew.  It wasn’t Abraham.  

“M—M—Matthew,” she stuttered out.  

“What the fuck, Effie?!” his temper got the best of him.

“M—Matthew—I—I thought—Abraham—I thought you were Abraham—”

With his one clear eye, he looked at her.  His chest was heaving.  But he didn’t say anything.  His shoulders slumped slightly.  And without saying anything, he got up out of the bed and walked out of the room.

Effie immediately dropped to her knees on the bed.  It’s what she would have done before, to ask for forgiveness for denying her husband satisfaction whenever and wherever he wanted it.  But now, in the new world, in her new world, it wasn’t like that.  She didn’t have to repent for her sin.  It didn’t have to be that way.  Abraham wasn’t in bed with her.  It was Matthew.  Sweet, soft, rough around the edges Matthew.

She started crying.  She couldn’t believe that she’d just done that to him.  She cried so hard she didn’t even realize he’d come back into the room quietly, with a bag of peas pressed against his face where she’d punched him.  

After she apologized, and he said nothing, she crawled over to him, the last of her tears spilling over her cheeks.  She lay her hand on his back.  “Matthew—”

He flinched at her touch.  She recoiled her hand back so quickly she didn’t know she could move that fast.  Her heart tightened in her chest, knowing she’d just caused him – and was continuing to cause him – such physical pain, when all he’d given her over the last few months was patience and support.  

Matthew heard her sharp intake of breath when he flinched.  He didn’t mean to flinch – really – he just didn’t expect her to touch him after she’d just punched his face for brushing up against her.  He took a few deep breaths to control his emotions before he looked behind him, seeing her tear-stained face looking at him.  

When he saw the lingering fear in her eyes, he couldn’t be angry.

***

Matthew played his hockey game, and he managed to score a goal and record an assist, but after the game, his mind was somewhere else.  Effie hadn’t shown up to the game; she wasn’t waiting with Jenna and Geneviève, and Jenna told him she was tired from work which is why she stayed home.  He needed to talk to her.  Needed to talk to her.  But he didn’t know how, and he didn’t know what to do.  

Jacob, Geneviève, Levi, and Jenna all left early, leaving him to go home alone.  He trudged down the hallway and took the elevator to the parking garage, his feet dragging on the concrete and he walked with his head down, a storm forming in his mind about what he was going to do.

“Matthew?” he heard a soft voice.

He shot his head up.  For a second he thought he was hallucinating, or some sort of mirage, but no – Effie was in the parking garage, standing right next to his car.  He had no idea how she got in but at this point he didn’t really care.  All he cared about was that she was there.  He rushed over to her as quickly as his legs would take him.  “You’re here,” he said, once he got close to her.  Her face was red and blotchy.  He hated seeing it like that.  It reminded him of the incident in the washroom.  “What’s going on?”

“I spent the whole day crying thinking about what I did to you,” she said, her voice sounding like she was on the verge of tears again.

“Effie, I told you it was alri—”

“It’s not alright, Matthew,” she asserted.  He’d said it all last night while she was profusely apologizing, but she didn’t believe him.  He’d said it up until she was picked up by a taxi to be taken back to her place.  He’d begged her to stay.  She couldn’t see how she could when she’d just punched him in the face.  “I wish you would stop saying that.  I hit you.  I gave you a black eye.  Nothing about that is alright—”

“Effie—”

“I just—I thought you were Abraham because he’d do that a lot and—because I would always try to say no otherwise, and so he had to get me at a point where—”

“EFFIE,” he said loudly, over her frantic voice, and she stopped immediately.  They stared at each other for a few moments in pure silence before Effie could feel Matthew’s hands grab hers.  He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she nestled her face into his chest and inhaled his scent.  A wave of peace flowed throughout her body.  He hadn’t asked to touch her, but at the same time, she hadn’t flinched.  His touch was so…so pure and so soft – so unlike anything else she’d felt before – that there was no reason to flinch or be scared.  His hands wouldn’t hurt her like other hands had.  She realized this, inhaling his scent one more time.  He wouldn’t hurt her.

When he released the hug, she brought her own hands up to cradle his face.  His facial hair was a bit rough against her skin, but it was still the softest she’d ever felt on a man.  Maybe it was because he always gave her butterflies.  Maybe it was something else.  “You’re so soft, Matthew…” her voice was barely above a whisper.  

“What’s that mean?” he asked, his voice equally as low.  “I’m not soft.”

“Yes, you are.  You are for me,” she clarified.  “You’re the softest man I’ve ever felt.  I don’t want that to change.”

He realized what she meant now.  It hit him like a ton of bricks, like most things did with Effie.  “It won’t,” he asserted.  “You can count on me.”

“I know I can,” she nodded her head.

Matthew couldn’t take it anymore.  They couldn’t continue this in the parking garage.  “Can I take you back to my place again and we can talk?  Properly?”

Effie nodded her head.  

***

Matthew let Effie roam in his kitchen while he changed out of his suit into some comfier clothes.  When he emerged from his room, Effie was sitting on his couch – just like she had been last night – a glass of water in her hand, sipping from it delicately.  He knew she’d end up back on his couch since she had commented last night how big and comfy it was.  Matthew didn’t even know where it was from – it came with the apartment.  But ever since she’d sat on it and made the comment, he found it comfier.

He walked over to her slowly, and she watched him, not saying a word.  Instead of taking a seat beside her, he knelt in front of her, between her legs.  He was still almost at eye level with her.  Boldly, he took the glass of water out of her hand and set it down on the coffee table.  He grabbed her hands in his and rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumb tenderly.  “Can I ask you a question?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“What happened that night?  After you punched Abraham?”

Effie was silent for a moment.  “I…I—I got pregnant.”

The words stabbed Matthew in the heart.  He squeezed her hands to let go of some pain, and she squeezed back.  “I’m so sorry for what I did, Effie—”

“You have nothing to apologize about,” she said.  “You did nothing wrong.”

“But I scared you.  And I promised I’d never do that.  And it brought up bad memories…”

Effie was shaking her head.  “You didn’t scare me.  My mind did.  My mind thought you were Abraham.  But you’re the farthest thing from him, Matthew, and you need to know that.  You don’t scare me at all.  Not even a bit.  Not like Abraham scared me.”

Matthew bit his tongue so he could feel some pain and keep himself from crying.  To think about how she was so scared for eighteen years of her life, and now she wasn’t, and part of that was because he was around, helping her feel comfortable…he couldn’t have asked for anything more.  He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty for what happened, especially since Effie was telling him what she was telling him, but he knew he would for a while.  It’d take him a while to get over it.  “When we went on the date…did you—I mean, did you just do it because you felt like you had to?  Because you had to experience a first date to be normal or whatever?  Or did you actually want to?” he asked.

“I actually wanted to,” she said without hesitation.  Matthew could feel his heart beating in his chest.  “I wanted to, and with you.  Not with another guy and not with, like, Sean or whatever,” she said, and it made Matthew break out into a smirk.  “It was you.  And even though…I mean—I mean I think we could…and we would…” she tried to formulate her thought into coherent words.  

“But I don’t know if we should,” he finished her sentence.

Effie nodded.  “At least not yet.  I’m not—I’m not mentally there yet.  I’m not ready.  And it wouldn’t be fair to bring you along so closely with something I know I’m not ready for.  There’s so much I still need to learn…about, well…everything.”

Matthew nodded his head.  He understood completely.  “You know that I never expected anything, right?” he asked.

“Oh, of course not,” she said like it was the obscenest idea in the world.  She knew Matthew would never expect that of her.  “I think what’ll be good is you going home during the summer, and me starting my course in June…and by the time you come back in September, you might even see a brand new me.”

Matthew couldn’t help but smile at that.  He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs again.  “You’re already a brand new person, Effie.  When I come back you’ll just be wiser.  Do you promise to message me on Instagram about everything you learn and the stuff you experience?”

Effie nodded her head, a smile adorning her face now.  “Matthew?” she asked after a moment of silence.

This time, he looked up at her.  He knew what was coming.

This time, she didn’t need to stand on her tip-toes.  All she had to do was lean forward and kiss him.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk fan fic #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #calgary flames fic #calgary flames fan fic #matthew tkachuk blurb #calgary flames blurb #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fan fic #nhl blurb #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fan fic #hockey blurb #patience is a virtue series

[heyyyharry]

Deep End - Chapter 6: Andersen’s Fairy Tales

…in which Harry teaches Ezi how to read.

Word count: 4k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

A/N: please please let me know what you think. I can't write without motivation 😭

.

.

.

When Harry finally decided to answer his mother’s call, he had prepared himself for some verbal ass-whooping. He was twenty-four years old, a celebrity and a millionaire, yet still getting scolded by his mother on a daily basis. Life was good.

“Is your date okay?” The first thing his mother said to him was this. At first, Harry thought he’d misheard it. But then she repeated the question in a more urgent and concerning tone. “Harry, is Ezili okay?”

His mother had never remembered the name of any girl he’d brought home. His mother always had a lot to say about the way those girls had dressed, talked, and carried themselves. Had Ezi charmed his mother with her siren magic?

Harry shuddered at the thought. “Y-Yeah...why?”

“Dawson told me you and Bax got into a fight at the manor.”

Harry smacked his forehead. Fucking Dawson. “How did Dawson know?”

“He found Bax lying on the floor.”

Although Harry hated to recall that night because he couldn’t imagine how scared Ezi must have been, it was funny to think about how pathetic Bax must have looked when Dawson had found him. The mental image made Harry laugh. “See?” he told his mother. “It wasn’t a fight if it was one-sided. I beat him up.”

His mother exhaled sharply. Harry could imagine her with her eyes closed, shaking her head. “The only reason I will let you get away with fighting your cousin in my house is because I know what he was trying to do with Ezili. So I called to ask if she was okay.”

“She’s okay. Don’t worry. I think she also scared him.”

“She’s a woman. Any strong woman would’ve been terrified in that situation,” said Harry’s mum. “I feel bad for having let that happen. I shouldn’t have invited him.”

“It’s not your fault, Mum. He’s always been scum.”

There was a pause, and Harry knew exactly what his mother was going to say. “Bax’s parents have always hated us. They envy your father. I think they’re trying to sabotage our wine business. Maybe if you’d change your mind--”

“Mum, we’ve talked about this,” Harry sighed. “I love my career. I can’t...I’m not a businessman like Dad. Isn’t Dawson doing a good job managing our family business already?”

“He is. But I know your father would’ve wanted it to be you.” When Harry stayed quiet, his mother knew it was a sign that this topic shouldn’t be continued, so she switched to another. “You should invite Ezili to lunch at the manor.”

“Mum, that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Nonsense! Her first time in our house and she got absolutely traumatised. I’ll make up for it. I’ll send you an invitation in the afternoon.”

“Mum, there’s no need for an in--”

But his Mum already hung up on him.

Sighing, Harry sunk back into his chair. A staff member knocked on the door and informed him that he would have to return to the set in fifteen minutes. He told them he got it and intended to call his mum again and try to talk her out of the lunch thing with Ezi. That was when he got another call.

“Don’t tell me someone’s injured. It’s only been an hour.”

“Worse!” Niall screamed. “Dawson kidnapped the girl!”

.

.

.

Ezili didn’t know if the bookstore was small or Harry’s house was just too big, but she liked the cosiness of it in contrast to what she’d always been used to. There were bookshelves climbing all the way up to the ceiling. The walls were covered with hundreds of books of all sizes, and there were dozens of piles on the floor in the corners as well. But seeing that most of the furniture was covered in dust, Ezili guessed they didn’t often have visitors.

She wondered why nobody wanted to come into this fascinating place. She loved books even though she couldn’t read or write. She’d found a few books in her room and some of them had pictures, but she could only guess what the stories were about. So she wanted to read, but it would be something her mother would never approve of. If she learned to read, she’d become a laughing stock for her kind for sure.

Entering the bookstore, Ezili and Dawson were greeted by an old lady with crazy chestnut hair that looked like she was wearing a fluffy dog on her head. Her eyes were huge behind those thick round glasses that gave her a psychotic kind of look that absolutely terrified Ezili.

“Hello, love birds,” she said with an ear-to-ear grin. Ezili could not take her eyes off the shiny wires attached to this lady’s teeth. They sparkled every time she opened her mouth. This woman must be rich if she wore silver on her teeth.

“Oh, we’re not birds,” Ezili said as she pulled Chilli tighter to her chest.

The crazy lady hugged her stomach and burst out laughing. “She’s a funny girl,” she told Dawson, pointing to Ezili, then her face turned serious. “But no cats allowed.”

“She’s with me. Her name is Chilli and she’s very nice--”

“She can stay here while you pick your books.” Before Ezili could protest, the lady took the black cat and put it on the counter. “So what are you looking for?”

“Thank you. We’ll just have a look around,” Dawson said with a tight smile and pulled Ezili with him. They turned into one of the aisles and heard the lady telling them she’d be here if they needed help. What kind of help would you need in a bookstore? It wasn’t like books would attack you.

“The Book of Wisdom,” Dawson said as he took out one colourful book from a higher shelf. Ezili peered over his arm as he scrutinised the front cover. He smelled like coconut and summer, which reminded her of those tropical islands she’d visited with her mother. And the fact that he was a lot taller than her made her want to bury her face into his chest to get soaked in that homely smell. But then she remembered what Harry had taught her about consent. Realising her chest was touching his arm, she stepped back and felt him relax a bit more. She hoped he didn’t think she was sexually hairdressing him. She had no idea why they called it hairdressing, and she kept forgetting to ask Harry.

“Hey, why do they call it hairdre--”

“Lesson 1: Be polite.”

Ezili jumped and hid behind Dawson’s back, her heart pounding violently. “Did the book just..talk?”

“Yeah, it’s a talking book for children,” Dawson chuckled. “I like your sense of humour.”

He flipped to a new page and the book talked again, “Remember, kids, if you accidentally raise your voice with someone, always apologise to them. It’s not nice to yell at other people.”

Ezili couldn’t decide if she was in awe or creeped out by the talking book. Maybe a little bit of both. But then her eyes zeroed in on a picture of a beautiful siren on one of the covers. She passed Dawson to try and was trying to reach for the book when his hand landed on her shoulder, and she looked up to see him grab the book without effort and hand it to her with a smile.

“You like this? It’s the new edition of Andersen’s Fairy Tale.”

“The Little Mermaid!”

“Yes.” Dawson’s eyes squinted behind his glasses. “You’ve never read Andersen’s Fairy Tales?”

“I have,” Ezili lied, hugging the book to her chest. “I want this book.”

“Great. I’ll buy it for you. As a gift.”

Harry had told Ezili that humans couldn’t just take the things they found because they would get arrested, and apparently, they couldn’t fight and kill each other for things either. It didn’t sound fair and was kind of stupid. Why were humans so dependent on these stupid papers they called money? Ezili couldn’t understand how their inferior brains worked sometimes.

“Hey, look,” Dawson said, holding up his phone that was buzzing in his hand. “Harry’s calling.”

Ezili couldn’t care less about Harry now. She let Dawson speak to him while she flipped through the book to look at pictures. But...why was there a picture of the prince and another girl? Didn’t he marry Ariel? She tried to look for the ones that revealed the new ending, which was apparently different from what she’d seen on the telly, but the rest of the chapter was just text and no pictures. She hated this. She wished she could read.

“Yeah, she’s here with me. The bookstore is just a few blocks near your house…” Dawson finished the call with Harry and turned back to Ezili. “He’s coming to pick you up.”

She found it strange that Harry would speak about Dawson with such hatred, like the way Koa would speak about Ezili, while Dawson had always been so nice about Harry. She couldn’t recall him saying anything bad about Harry when in fact, she could go on and on for days about Harry’s bad qualities. And she’d only known him for a week!

“Why doesn’t Harry like you?”

The question seemed to have caught Dawson by surprise, but he was quick to put on a smile.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m helping his mum run the business his father left for him. But he was the one who didn’t want it. He wanted to become a singer.”

“Harry’s mother doesn’t want him to be a singer?”

“No.”

Ezili closed the book and gave an understanding nod. “My mother never lets me do things I like, either. She never thinks I’m good enough because I’m not like her.”

“I’m sure your mother loves you,” Dawson said. Ezili liked the twinkle in his eyes and tenderness in his voice when he reassured her. Maybe he had a special gift that only sirens had. The gift to charm anybody they wanted. “Every mother has their own burdens and loves us in a different way.”

“But...if they love us, should they want us to be happy?”

Ezili didn’t know where that had come from. For the last twenty years of her life, she had never once thought of this. Why now? Why now that she decided that she could have been happier if her mother hadn’t been the way she was? But sirens were all supposed to be the way her mother was. Cold and dangerous like the ocean itself. So did it mean...did it mean her mother and sister were right? That she was too weak and emotional to become Queen?

“Ezi!”

The sound of her name pulled her out of her own head. She snapped her head up to find Harry padding toward her. He looked just like that night when he’d scolded her for biting his cousin. She hated this Harry.

“Let’s go home,” he told her coldly.

Before she could reply, he took her wrist and pulled her with him. The book fell to her feet and she was too appalled to even pick it up. She was about to remind Harry that Dawson was standing right there, but then she realised Harry had intentionally ignored his cousin.

“Ezili, your book!”

Harry and Ezi stopped before they got into the car parked out front. Dawson handed her the book and beamed. “I already paid for it.”

“Thank you.”

“Very nice. Get in, Ezi.”

Dawson seemed slightly annoyed by Harry’s attitude, but he didn’t act on it. Instead, he gave Ezili another gentle smile and told her he’d see her another time. Then, he went back inside the bookstore.

Ezili wished she could have stayed with him.

“Rescue mission accomplished!” said an energetic voice as Ezili got into the back of the car. A stranger she had never seen before peered around the passenger seat and smiled at her before he started speaking in a funny accent, “You’re welcome, by the way. The name’s Niall.”

Chilli was sitting on Niall’s lap, licking her own paw, which showed that she was comfortable around Niall, and Niall wasn’t an enemy. To human Ezili, of course. All humans were enemies to sirens.

“I’m Ezili,” Ezili said, then, she recognised the funny accent. “You’re Niall...Horan?”

“You know me?”

Ezili could feel her grin stretch from ear to ear. “I saw you on TikTok! You’re so funny.”

“Look, H, a fan!” Niall exclaimed as he shook Harry’s shoulder, but Harry didn’t react as he manoeuvred the car back onto the road. “I like her already.” Niall laughed. “I’m Harry’s best friend. Are you following my TikTok?”

“Yeah. I’ve watched every single one.”

“Good, good, good,” Niall said, nodding slowly. He turned to the front and back to Ezili immediately. “Also, I’m sorry about what happened to you. The accident must have been awful.”

“What?”

“Niall,” Harry growled. “Seatbelt.”

Niall flinched. “Sorry.”

Frowning, Ezili hugged her new book and sunk into her seat. She hated this Harry. He reminded her of a whale with a toothache, and even with that image in mind, she still couldn’t laugh. That was how angry she was with him. Yes, she was angry with him being angry with her. And for pulling her out of that beautiful bookstore. For making her drop her book. For holding her hostage like a prisoner. For being rude to Dawson. She hated him. She hated Harry Styles.

So when they’d arrived home and he told her to go inside and hang with Niall, she had to chase after him and let him know how much she hated him.

“Harry Styles!” She called when they reached the white stairs leading to the enormous courtyard where he’d parked his car. “Why are you upset? You have no right to be mad at me after you lied to me.”

Harry stopped halfway down the stairs; it seemed like Ezili’s words had finally hit him. He slowly spun around with a stunned expression as if she’d accused him of manslaughtering. “I didn’t lie to you,” he said, his jaw tight. “I told you to stay in your room. You were grounded.”

“You didn’t tell me that you’d leave me with your assistant and Niall!”

“But I didn’t lie to you.”

“Telling half-truths is telling lies.”

Harry held Ezili’s gaze for a long moment before he started ascending the stairs. She stiffened as he stopped right in front of her, leaned in, and stared.

“Oh, so you’re so honest, aren’t you?” he asked in a mocking tone. “You’ve never lied to me?”

“Never,” she said confidently.

Well, that was also a lie. But since when had Ezili felt bad for lying? She’d eaten men like him. Why did his presence now make her nervous?

She hated that the more she stayed human the more human she became. That thought terrified her even more than the possibility of getting caught and killed in this foreign land.

“I’ve never lied in my entire life,” she added, making Harry's eyes grow wide.

He said nothing, and when he turned to leave, she hurriedly followed him down the stairs. “Speechless by my honesty?” she asked.

“Speechless by the lies that come out of your mouth,” he said. “Is your name even Ezi?”

“No, it’s Ezili.”

Harry let out a scoff but he didn’t stop, so Ezili grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. Hard.

“Shit! How are you so strong?” he cried out, facing her again.

“Apologise.”

“What?”

Ezili folded her arms across her chest and sharpened her gaze. “Apologise right now.”

“For what?”

“For yelling at me.”

“And why should I apologise for yelling at you?”

Ezili bit her lip. The voice inside her head told her to push him down the stairs. She could just say it was an accident, and no one could prove that she’d done it. However, she needed him alive. Sucking in a breath, she said, “Because that’s what decent people do. A talking book told me that.”

“You mean those children's books you found in the bookstore,” Harry taunted, giving her a despiteful smirk.

She scowled at him even harder. “Apologise.”

“Fine,” he breathed. “I apologise for yelling at you. Now you apologise for stealing my cat.”

“I tried to save Chilli. You see, your assistant said something about the Master of the House being dead. I thought you were dead. But she was only talking about a show--”

“Yeah, famous Netflix show. It’s good. But that’s still no excuse for taking my cat.”

“Fine.” Ezili glared at him. “I’m sorry for stealing your cat.”

“And for getting into Dawson’s car.”

“And for getting into Dawson’s car.”

“And for leaving with him and liking him.”

“And for—What is your problem with Dawson?”

Instead of answering the question, Harry pulled out his phone, looked at it, and then told Ezili, “Go inside. We’ll continue this talk when I get back.”

He was just about to run when she pulled him back by his sleeve. He gave her a ‘what do you want?’ kind of look as she stammered, “When...when you get back…”

“Yeah?” He stressed out the word, an eyebrow arched impatiently.

“Can you teach me how to read?”

“What?”

“Teach me to read. Are you deaf?”

“You can’t read?”

When Ezili shook her head, Harry’s frown transformed into a smile. “That explains a lot.”

She smacked him on the arm and he gasped and leapt down two steps.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! Why are you so aggressive?” Harry winced and backed away from her. “We’ll talk about this later. Now go inside and film a TikTok with Niall or something. I’m late for a photoshoot.”

Ezili opened her mouth to ask him what time he’d be home, but Harry had already run back to his car.

.

.

.

Harry got home at around 10 PM. He’d had a rough day. His manager had been furious because he had run out on a magazine photoshoot without saying a word to anyone. In his defence, he’d been in a rush, and couldn’t figure out an excuse to cover up for the fact that he’d almost let a mythical creature get loose. He shouldn’t have been so careless and left her with his assistant and Niall. That was his fault. Also, he could never think straight when he was angry. He thought about the look Ezili had given him when he’d pulled her out of the bookstore. The look Dawson had given him. Fucking Dawson. If it wasn’t for him, Harry wouldn’t have had to be mean to Ezi.

“Hey.”

“Jesus!” Harry shouted when the light switched on and he saw Ezili sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. “Wha--Why are you on the floor? Get up.”

“This is Chilli’s favourite spot so I thought I might try to see how comfortable it is. Pretty uncomfortable, I must say.”

Harry rolled his eyes and offered Ezi a hand to help her get to her feet. “Why are you still awake?”

She pulled away from him and rushed over to the table to grab the book Dawson had given her. She shoved it at him. “You promised to teach me to read. This is a collection of fairy tales. Andersen’s Fairy Tales. I noticed that one of the details from The Little Mermaid story was different from the film, so I want to know how the story actually ends in the book.”

Harry sighed as he took the book and looked at the cover. When he glanced up, Ezi was giving him these big puppy dog’s eyes with her hands clasped together in front of her chest. “It’s late,” he said tiredly.

She shook her head. “You promised!”

“I can just tell you the ending.”

“No, I want to read!”

“Fine, fine.” He put his hands up, left palm out, the other holding the book. “I guess there’s still time to teach you the alphabet then we’ll call it a day.”

Harry could have sworn he had never seen anyone as excited about learning as Ezi was, which was quite amusing, he must admit. So they sat on the couch as he taught her the alphabet and how to put letters into words. She was a fast learner, so it didn’t take long for her to memorise everything.

“It’s been three hours and I still can’t read,” Ezili whined as she hit him with a pillow.

Shocked, Harry blinked at her. “That’s not how learning works. You need time.”

“You said my brain was more developed!”

“Yeah, but still!”

Scowling, Ezi kicked Harry’s feet. “You’re the worst teacher ever. I’ll never get to know how it ends.”

“Okay, Miss Drama Queen,” Harry scoffed. “How about I read you the story now, and when you can read on your own, you can practice by rereading it?”

Ezi thought for a moment, then the line between her brows eased, and she nodded once. “But you must teach me everyday until I can read.”

“Fine,” Harry breathed as he opened the book. His body stiffened when Ezi suddenly leaned on him like he was a pillow, her cheek against his arm, and he could feel every beat of her heart.

“Go on,” she urged him, giving him a nudge.

He cleared his throat and opened the book, trying to distract his naughty mind with the innocent words of a fairy tale.

Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above. There dwell the Sea King and his subjects. We must not imagine that there is nothing at the bottom of the sea but bare yellow sand. No, indeed; the most singular flowers and plants grow there; the leaves and stems of which are so pliant, that the slightest agitation of the water causes them to stir as if they had life. Fishes, both large and small, glide between the branches, as birds fly among the trees here upon land. In the deepest spot of all, stands the castle of the Sea King. Its walls are built of coral, and the long, gothic windows are of the clearest amber. The roof is formed of shells, that open and close as the water flows over them. Their appearance is very beautiful, for in each lies a glittering pearl, which would be fit for the diadem of a queen...

By the time they’d finished one-third of the story, Ezi had already fallen asleep with her head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry wished he’d read this to her in bed so he wouldn’t have to carry her upstairs now. She was small and slender, but he’d had a bad day, so even the littlest inconvenience could bring down his mood. Cursing under his breath, he picked her up and carried her to the stairs as she curled against his chest like a little cat.

When her eyelids fluttered, he thought she was going to jolt awake, but then her brows knitted, and she murmured, “Mother, please...give me more time. I will bring you the heart…the heart...”

He chuckled and put her down on the bed.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles x mc #harry styles x oc #harry styles imagines #harry styles writing #harry styles series

[missvifdor]

(The continuation of this post where during a spell class a portal opened and the boys' female doubles as well as MC's appeared in the class) (I think I could make it an independent "story" for the adventures of my MC /OC /YUU)

My MC /OC /YUU and his double crossing the gaze in the class: * Double bi panic *

*Now we will have to find a solution to bring these young ladies and this gentleman back to their reality, but in the meantime here is the look of our twisted guys if they were girls*

Dorm leaders:

Riddle: Looks both serious and cute, with a round cheeky face and big eyes with long thick lashes as well as a pretty pixie haircut. Obviously she stays small but is always bigger than my MC OC YUU, her voice both soft and sharp, a very interesting contrast.

Leona: Made more of a woman than a young girl, still has magnificent hair, bewitching eyes and has a very toned and nicely muscular body. His voice is deep with that tone both seductive and bored. She knows perfectly well that she is beautiful, that she has charm and adores the handset with her immense intelligence. It's an absolutely formidable combo. She is the same height as her male double.

Azul: Gives that mafia-like aura (Or Sugar Mummy), with her hair styled in an impeccable bun and her tailor that is both professional and flatters her gorgeous figure perfectly. Her smile is both sweet and dangerous. But we all know that deep down she is a sweet girl who needs reassurance and who needs to realize how smart, hardworking, and beautiful she is (and we know any of us don't would stop proving it to her). She must be two or three centimeters shorter than her male double.

Kalim: She's still a sun ball and a full cinnamon roll! So positive and supportive! Tie up her long silver hair with a cute headband and always do her makeup in warm tones (where instead Jamil helps her with her makeup like that). Always wears tons of gold bracelets on her wrists and ankles, is very tactile, and has no problem cuddling the people she loves and appreciates! Is the kind of friend who makes sure you eat well and that you don't miss anything. (I can see her thinking that she and Jamil have more of a sister relationship than a master and servant relationship). Is exactly the same size as her male double.

Vil: Let's be honest here, Vil would be the most gorgeous woman who hasn't set foot at Night Raven College for decades after The Beautiful Queen! You almost feel like she's straight out of a fashion magazine but no, it's just that our Reine des Poisons takes so much care of her and works so hard to come to such potential! Her magnificent hair would reach her shoulders, her voice would be as beautiful as honey on a slice of bread and her makeup and manicure would be as perfect as it gets! Maybe she would be a little taller than her male double (even without heels). (I don't know why but apart from her care and makeup, I also see her very well making her own jewelry as well as her perfume).

Idia: Haired with two long, fiery quilts, she would be more the type to have an e-girl style but with very loose clothes that would not show her forms (the poor one does not realize that she has the potential to become a model for lingerie). Her voice would be both sweet and high-pitched, and she could also be smaller than her male double. (And Husbando, so many Husbando!). Doesn't trust her smile because of her sharp teeth but that is her charm and she is so fucking cute! Maybe she would be more organized and manic than her double even if her room would still be in a very big mess (at least she didn't leave her underwear lying around in plain sight, she would die of shame if anyone saw the cute and childish little designs on it).

Malleus: This woman ... Would be exactly the same size as her male double! And she would be so beautiful and elegant! With long black hair that she would let hang down her back, as well as her incredible figure! (Also gives those Magical Sugar Mummy vibes). His voice, by all the gods ... The most sensual and that playful note we've ever heard. Her voice is also so deep and sweet (let's not even talk about her laugh or I'll die of happiness). Still gives that awesome and intimidating impression on people but is so sweet when you get to know her (Always make that adorable pout when she's sad or upset, you feel like hugging her tight and telling her that even though she is scary in the early days, she's the sweetest person we've ever met!).

The Vice-leader:

Trey: Don't lie to each other, give these married vibes over and over again. But beware, also hides his game very well because in private ... 🥵. Her beautiful hair tied in a ponytail and her voice in playful tones. Would be the type to wear stockings with his uniform and is the same size as his male double. Smells like cake and vanilla, it's both so nice and it also makes you so hungry!

Ruggie: Is quite skinny because as we know Ruggie often endures difficult months. Short and messy hair, has a cheerful voice and an infectious laugh (Quite fond of pretty things in the background, but since she doesn't have much money, she can't really afford it. If she could, she would certainly treat herself to some pretty hair accessories). Perhaps an unacknowledged Tsundere side. Since she cannot feed herself properly for someone her age, she is most certainly smaller than the average for a Beast Woman. Would probably like to have a cuter look, unfortunately she can't afford it as she doesn't want to look "weak".

Jade: Holy shit, this woman is so dangerous and sweetly sadistic, if you ever pique her interest and she likes you on top of that, I'm sorry for you. Her body is certainly muscular and graceful (She also has quite incredible strength). Has long, wavy hair that she wears half-loose and is exactly the same height as her male double. Her voice and at the same time so soft and cold, you don't know if you should feel comfortable or on the contrary, run as far as possible. Obviously loves going for long hikes, (Her legs are so muscular, if she catches you with that, you won't be able to go anywhere). His tone is so teasing, you can't resist him for long.

Jamil: Very tall, even a few inches taller than her male double. Just like Trey, she smells so good, like cinnamon. Has a fairly athletic build, and remained a very, very good dancer. Very skillful, maybe makes her own wrist and ankle bracelets, also wears a lot of jewelry (not as expensive as Kalim's, but still very pretty and it shows her really well, especially the snake designs ), also wears a lot of ear piercings. His hair is very long, silky, and worn the same way as the male Jamil (maybe with extra pearls in his hair). Her voice is deep (sensual) and with a note of irony and sarcasm. Her make up apply lightly but always in such beautiful warm tones (she also highlights her cheekbones), especially with eyeliner to highlight her intense gaze.

Rook: His hair is worn in the same way as the male Rook, also wears a multitude of hats as well as pretty earrings. Likes to tease those around her, smiling and bright. Has a French accent, of course. But remains someone dangerous in the end. Is the same height as her double, is athletic, skillful and has excellent eyesight (Normal for a hunter). See beauty in everything and everyone! Don't you think you're handsome? Rook will give you ten points for why she thinks you are beautiful and why you should stop thinking that way because otherwise she will stalk you until you accept this truth. Her voice is happy and confident, deep and warm. May like to wear accessories like long socks with natural or animal designs. Specialized in throwing knives.

Ortho: So cute! The little sister you will want to protect at the risk of your life! So smart and friendly, curious too. Wears a cute fiery pixie hairstyle and has a cheerful, thin voice. Is so small and skinny.

Lilia: Oh boy ... see Draculaura from Monster Hight? She has the same look. So much into jokes, loves to surprise people to scare them. Her voice contrasts completely with her appearance since it is deep and velvety. Same size as her male double. Even though she looks so young, she still acts like a child mom. (Obviously, is always so bad in the kitchen, she brings out stuff, sometimes you are afraid that it will come to life to devour you). Despite her jokes, she is still very good advice and listens.

The rest of our boys:

Cater: If fashionable, is certainly a great influencer. Cater pays so much attention to everything, especially the little details and accessories that she wear. Makeup always on top and colorful, could become a model if she wanted. Is smaller than her male double. Joyful and higher pitched voice, her hair is a bundle of silky curls always worn in a cute way (Like Ariana Grande). (Has a multitude of fans and contenders) carefree and likes to give cute or silly nicknames to people she loves and appreciates. Would be the type to flirt with his friends for fun. Probably has a passion for nail art and would be so proud to show off her designs on her Magicam account! Would act with the first years like a big sister although she is not always good advice. She is so teasing.

Ace: Short, messy hair! Pretty tomboy style, enjoys teasing others too much for his own good, always smiling like shit and communicative. Is a sporty person, and quite arrogant, maybe also a little Tsundere side. Is a hopeless hideaway romantic. Even though she likes to do her makeup, she doesn't like taking fifteen years to do it and does the minimum required. Of course has a more feminine side when she's out of school, but honestly, feminine clothes are never practical for big movements. Act confidently but not too deep down. Her voice is happy and dynamic. Is one or two centimeters smaller than her male double. Likes to wear necklaces and chokers. Rather skinny but not as much as Ruggie.

Deuce: So sweet and so want to do her best to make her mom proud of her. Wearing long hair tied in a low ponytail, her voice is high-pitched and strong. Is quite tall (even taller than her male double). Read romance books on the sly but can't help herself when someone finds out. Probably already dyed his hair blonde during his delinquent period and dyed it before entering Night Raven College. Likes to wear barrettes in her hair, also does her best with her makeup but was not used to it before (it was mainly Ace who taught her everything she knows). Secretly loves wearing skirts and dresses, she hasn't been able to experience it before because she didn't think it would look pretty on her (But she's actually pretty). Certainly be shy and insecure when she finds new people, afraid of doing things badly. Blushes so easily that it is funny. When his delinquent side resurfaces, his voice becomes more serious, threatening, his posture leaves no room for shyness! She might want to change for the better, but that doesn't mean she's going to let others do if they want to bully her!

Jack: Do you see Jasper in the Steven Universe? You now have Jack as a woman. She is muscular and strong! The part she's most proud of is her muscular back! His silvery hair his savage and remained indomitable (But that gives him a crazy charm). Don't take shit from people and still is a Tsundere. But her wagging tail always betrayed her about her emotions, as well as her ears. Same size as her male double. Secretly loves cute things and certainly has an army of adorable stuffed animals in her room in Savanaclaw. Wears a biker style, and because she lives in a cold region with her family, she doesn't get cold easily, so her muscular arms are uncovered all the time (for your viewing pleasure 😏). Her voice is serious, so serious! But if you're friends, you definitely hear that thoughtful little note in her voice. If his male version is the Best Boy, his female version is the Best Girl! She takes care of those she loves and is always ready to help!

Floyd: Is exactly the same size as his male double. Wear her hair short cut in a boyish style (she doesn't have the time or the energy to dwell on her hair). Her voice has high notes, especially when she finds something or someone cute! Very expressive, has no filter. Like her sister, she is muscular and graceful. Her dress style could be similar to those of men in the 40's (she much prefers masculine clothes because it is more comfortable and she doesn't have to worry about her chest with large shirts. does not have to wear a bra!). Love accessories like earrings or piercings. Has immense strength and doesn't always control it. Dislikes makeup, she doesn't want to bother with it (but finds it charming on others, that's just her personal opinion). If its male version is not to be upset, it also works with its female version! Especially when it is at this time of the month, run away poor fools!

Epel: The same problem as with its male version! Except that instead of being manly, she wants us to find her sexy and not cute! All her life in her hometown has not to stop telling her that she was cute! Really ? Was she nothing else ?! She wants people she finds attractive to find her sexy, not cute! Just because she is petite, because she has big, innocent eyes and a round, youthful face, doesn't mean it's her definition of beauty or femininity! Much like her appearance, her voice is cute, slender. Her hair is long, wavy and held up with a red ribbon in an elegant manner. Compare to her male version, Vil lets her speak with her accent because it is one of her charm assets. Her face is decorated with delicate freckles. Is quite skinny with a tiny bit of shape but not a lot (let's say she has a lot more than Riddle). Epel is a little smaller than the male Epel, but not much.

Silver: She is the equivalent of Disney Princess Aurora. Except that, unlike, even if she falls asleep anywhere, she doesn't need a knight to protect her, she is her own knight! Remain a formidable swordsman! In spite of everything, remains someone calm and taciturn, very easygoing. She is very fond of animals and as they naturally flock to her, she is very happy about this fact. Wear her hair up to the shoulders and tie it in a ponytail for practice. She has a fairly toned body, but not too much. Her voice is soft and measured. She is much smaller than her male double.

Sebek: Acts hard but is so soft in the end. Looks pissed off all the time but that's just her natural expression. Wears her hair like her male version, and is the same size. Her voice carries so far, it's very impressive the first time you hear her! It is a bit sharp, but not in an unpleasant way. Carries so much esteem and respect towards Malleus, she would also like so much to be like her but she would never dare to compare herself to her! Blushes so hard and so quickly if you press the right buttons, it's so funny to see her get annoyed! Her figure is quite toned and sporty.

And finally, My MC /OC /YUU: Just like his female version, he wears round glasses, is always 150cm tall and has long wavy hair. Has fairly broad shoulders and is slightly muscular without really being so. Does everything possible to make girls feel comfortable and safe in his presence! He knows how exhausting the life and daily life of women is because of societal pressures and the male gaze. He knows that because of assholes, women are afraid of men and are afraid to even be in the same room as them, so he will do his best to ensure that she never feels that way around him! And if someone has the audacity to make one of them feel these feelings, oh boy ... that person won't last long! He was raised by his mother alone, and she taught him respect, consent and righteous values. He is an ally, so rest assured 😊😉. His voice is soft and serious (Also watching him get angry and argued in French is quite impressive! The sound of Rs in his mouth sounds even more aggressive).

#Twisted boys girl!au #Girls!au #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland imagines #Disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst headcanons #Twst #twst x reader #Twisted boys #Savanaclaw #Heatslabyul #octavinelle #Scarabia #pomefiore #Ignihyde #Diasomnia

[juurensha]

Ship Meme: Senshi/Shittenou

Since people seemed to like my DabiHawks ship post, I thought I’d write some more! So for my second post, I’m going to do a throwback to baby’s first big OTP, Senshi/Shittenou from Sailor Moon!

Another panel that just spawned a thousand fics :DDDD

Are we cheating by just lumping all four pairings together in one post, shhhhhhh.

The Inner Senshi:

The inner sailor senshi, loyal protectors and closest friends of their princess Sailor Moon, Sailor Venus/Minako Aino, guardian of love and beauty, Sailor Mercury/Ami Mizuno, guardian of water and knowledge, Sailor Mars/Rei Hino, guardian of flame and passion, and Sailor Jupiter/Makoto Kino, guardian of thunder and courage.

My favorite is probably Mercury, because I’ve always got a soft spot for smart, quiet bookworms, but I really am fond of all the sailor senshi. Venus, bubbly and sociable, with a core of steel underneath it all, Mars, aloof but with a fire burning in her, and Jupiter, tomboyish but also with the most traditionally girly pursuits of them all.

They fight, laugh, love, and grow alongside Usagi throughout the series, and as the first magical girl squad ever, they really did form a good part of my childhood.

The Shintennou:

The four heavenly kings, Prince Endymion’s bodyguards later brainwashed by Queen Metalia into turning on him and the Sailor Senshi. There’s Kunzite, the serious leader of the Shitennou, Zoisite, cunning and crafty, Jadeite, psychic but a bit of a playboy, and Nephrite, astrologer and patient.

So first off, I will say that some of these personalities listed here are a bit of a mix of different canons (because the 90′s anime and the manga had very different takes sometimes) and fanon, but the essential fact of their backstory, I’m sticking with the manga.

They’re the starter villains of any Sailor Moon adaptation, but as soon as I heard their story of being Endymion’s brainwashed bodyguards, I really started liking them just for the tragedy of it all. They swore to protect their prince and their planet, and in the end they brought about the downfall of both. DDDD:

After the first arc, they pretty much either get killed or sealed in stones that Mamorou carries around for guidance, but I really think they had the potential to have their own arc! Mamorou could have had more friends, and it would have been an interesting parallel with all the Senshi.

Which of course brings us to ....

Senshi/Shittenou:

Sadly we have no other canon images of them together, so we’re just going to have to stick to these :(

So I will admit this pairing really hits all the tragic reincarnation romance tropes that I could want: protectors of a kingdom falling in love with their opposing counterpart, only for their love to betray them and their kingdom, forcing them to kill or be killed by them, and then they’re all reincarnated, and it turns out the traitors were brainwashed, but still, how do you forget all that? Can you forgive them? How do you guys manage to move on from all that???

It’s delicious with how every author goes about exploring that question, but what’s also nice is how each couple has a contrast in personalities. Venus and Kunzite are both the leaders of their group, but Venus can get Kunzite to loosen up, while Kunzite can steady her a bit. Mercury and Zoisite are both the strategists of their groups, but Zoisite can get Mercury out of her shell, while Mercury can soothe Zoisite. Mars and Jadeite are both the psychics of their groups, but the play of shrine maiden and aloof Mars against playboy Jadeite is pretty great. Jupiter and Nephrite are both the tanks of their groups, and Jupiter doesn’t have anything to prove with Nephrite, while Nephrite gets someone who will stand her ground against him.

There’s so many possibilities here, and I love all of them.

But juu, isn’t this pairing based on a lot of fanon?

Yeah of course the truth of the matter with a pairing with characters whose biggest appearance was when they were brainwashed, and whose history was only explored in one art spread by the manga-ka does mean that there’s a lot of fanon involved. Combine that with how the 90′s anime, the stage adaptation, the video games, and the manga all have different interpretations of the characters, and you get a slew of variety. Still, I don’t think that’s a bad thing! We all really like the interesting backstory here, and I feel like that’s one of the most important features.

Also, I think Kunzite/Venus is the one that has the least fanon since that one was explored a little more in the Sailor V manga.

juu, do you have a favorite Senshi/Shitennou pairing?

Yep! I really like them as an ensemble since I love seeing both the boys and the girls commiserating with each other over their troubles, but my favorite two ships are Venus/Kunzite and Mercury/Zoisite.

With Venus and Kunzite, you’ve got the senshi of love actually resisting the idea of love for herself, beating herself up over her own perceived failures as a leader, but gradually learning to forgive both herself and Kunzite, and you’ve got the stoic general of the shitennou pursuing the woman who had fascinated him and pursued him in a past life.

With Mercury/Zoisite, you’ve got Mercury, normally so level-headed and allergic to love, getting to come out of her shell a bit as Zoisite uses all his cunning to once again win his quiet lady’s heart. It’s very sweet! It’s very nice!

juu, do you prefer Senshi/Shittenou fic focusing on their past lives or their present ones?

While I do enjoy seeing the courtly romance and their first meetings, if you couldn’t tell from this post, I really like seeing them more in their present modern lives hahaha. It’s mostly because with the past lives romance, you still have the tragedy up ahead just waiting (unless this is an AU fic), while with the modern fics, there’s obviously a lot of angst, but there’s also a potential happy ending up ahead :DDDD

juu, do you have a favorite/preferred Sailor Moon adaptation?

So while the 90′s anime holds a special place in my heart as one of my first anime (it’s either that or Pokemon), the manga’s art is just GORGEOUS, and I am forever sad that the art books are out of print and now cost like 200 dollars a pop. I still have yet to watch the Crystal anime, but I am interested since I heard it’s closer to the manga’s plotline and characterization. I’ve watched some of the live-action shows and stage shows, and those are fun!

juu, what do you think about the pairings the anime came up with? Like Nephrite/Naru and Kunzite/Zoisite?

I think in the context of the 90′s anime, where the Shinttenou did not seem to have much backstory besides being Metalia’s minions, those romances worked out pretty well and was sometimes very moving. I still remember crying over Nephrite/Naru QAQ.

juu, what do you think of Mercury/Jupiter or Mars/Venus?

I think they’re popular pairings for a very good reason, especially Mars/Venus! They get so much bonding time, and Mars/Venus in particular has some very shippy moments in the manga, and Mercury/Jupiter has some in the anime, and I support them as well! I’m a multishipper, so I like these pairings as well, but Senshi/Shitennou holds a special place in my heart.

juu, do you have any fic recs?

So this was my first big OTP that I read fic for, so that was back in the days of fic archive websites that I think are mostly defunct now, or on ff.net, where also I think a lot of them got purged. But happily, I found one on Ao3 I really like! It’s this fic by winterbones, and it’s mostly a Kunzite/Venus fic, but the other Senshi/Shinttenou pairings show up as well! It focuses on the Shittenou reincarnating after the events of the anime, and how Venus is dealing with that.

Hope everyone enjoyed this! It certainly made me want to go hunt down more good fic for this pairing!

#sailor moon #senshi/shitennou #shitennou #ship meme

[thefloatingstone]

Have you ever made a recommendation list of general positive “feel-good” kinds of media? I think the world could always use much more of those vibes!

omggggg this is such a good ideaaaaaa.

OK LEMME DO IT!

top 10 feel good media!

For this list however, I'm not going to recommend media that I would call life affirming or optimistic or uplifting, because although those are my favourite, media in this vein tend to depict some of the more darker aspects of being alive and extremely negative experiences, because how can you be life affirming and optimistic if you AVOID that which you are trying to rise above?

But for this list I'm going to recommend things which don't go too dark and which you can comfort watch without putting yourself through some kind of spiritual growth or anything like that XD because sometimes we want to watch Utena break the cycle of abuse and oppression and sometimes we just want to chill with something sparkly and pink.

SO! in no particular order;

1: Winx Club

I watched the first season as a 13 year old or so and I wasn't really into it. I was just at that age where I was starting to explore more serious media and stories with darker tones. However I've very recently started re-watching it since all 8 seasons are up for free on youtube by its own official youtube channel.

Winx Club is an Italian cartoon, starting in 2004. Although technically a Magical Girl show, I would describe it more like a hybrid of Sailor Moon and Harry Potter. You follow a human girl from Earth called Bloom who discovers she has magic powers and may actually be a Fairy. She is accepted into a school for Fairies (kind of like Hogwarts but without the traditional houses like British Boarding schools have). She attends classes with her 4 new friends (later 5 in the 2nd season) and learns about the magical world (which is a mix of magic and sci fi) while also learning about her heritage and trying to beat the witches from the evil boarding school just for Witchcraft XD.

The first season so far is a nice relaxing watch with characters who are very sweet. I hear it gets more dramatic as the seasons go on, but the first season I guess I would compare to the first Harry Potter book in terms of tone. Except aimed at preteen girls in the eary 2000s

You can watch literally ALL OF THEM in english on the official Winx youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8emVvNIujHioWpdEDkzZCATUO0wqeLL8

2: Nyanners

Nyanners is a Vtuber and probably the one I watch the most. I don't really like vtubers who are completely UwU and soft and PG and have absolutely no substance to them. So I like Nyanners because her voice may sound like Yuna from FFX but she says the most outrageous shit. Also it's just REALLY FUNNY to watch a pink anime cat girl with an UwU voice yelling at a video game to go fuck itself.

She's just really funny, REALLY good at improv, knows how to be hilarious and spin a situation to be entertaining, and she's just... a really good entertainer.

She's on this list because even though she has streams that devolve into utter chaos (like her VR adventures) she also has streams where she's just relaxing and chatting either with the chat or one of her fellow VTuber friends. So if you want something really funny to watch and you like pink and you just kind of want to unwind, I'm gonna link her VOD channel which has her full streams archived. I don't watch her live because her chat is usually about 8k people at once and it's too stressful for me XD but her archived streams you can just sit and watch or play as background noise while doing something else.

just uh.... wear headphones if you're somewhere someone else can hear 8'D

https://www.youtube.com/c/NyannersVODs/videos

And here's a specific video if you don't know what to watch first where she's making her Vtuber friends in the sims, which is one of her most mellow and relaxed videos. If you want chaos, check out the VR stream

Also please watch her co-op streams with ironmouse who is also hilarious.

3: Genshin Impact (yes. Really. Just hear me out)

FIRST. Genshin is a free to play Gacha game that wants you to spend money on its gambling mechanics. If you are someone who is susceptible to addictive gambling or who struggles with monetization in games, please do not play Genshin. Also, if this affects your decision in any way, Genshin is a Chinese developed game. I don't believe Tencent is involved (yet) and it's not something any government officials are involved with, its developer is merely based in China. However if this makes you uncomfortable, it's something you should know?

ok? That all ok?

Ok. So, Genshin is basically a very long-running 100+ episode Isekai anime but in video game form where you're the main character. It plays a bit like Breath of the Wild, with the open world crammed full of chests and collectables, and materials to turn into items, to secrets that unlocks chests etc etc etc. The gameplay is satisfying but not particularly challenging, the environments are all beautiful with soothing music, the writing is generally very soft with really cute character designs and story-driven quests whether main story related or just side quests.

The game will try and push you into logging in once a day to get daily rewards, and it will gentle suggest you spend money to gamble for a random character, but if you're someone unaffected by these sort of things, it's not that intrusive and easy to ignore. And if you think of it as a single-player MMO or, as I said, a never-ending Isekai anime that just keeps going and going forever with new areas/quests/characters released every few months, it's genuinely an incredibly relaxing game to just unwind and chill. Even if you're just doing your 15 minutes daily quest.

It's also free. It's on basically every single fucking gaming platform including for your phone but I think if you tried playing it on your phone it would just melt. I had it on my laptop first but deleted it for the hard drive space and downloaded it for my PS4 instead.

4: Lucky Star

speaking of anime;

Lucky Star is an anime about nothing. It's based on a 4 panel gag manga strip where our 4 main characters and their friends are in various every day situations and just like.... talk. That's it XD the first 2 episodes are a little slow and not very interesting to watch, but the series switched directors after the 2nd episode and it becomes very enjoyable. It's similar to Azumanga Daioh, but whereas Azumanga has episodic stories and small events that carry through story wise, Lucky Star is just a bunch of disconnected events and situations that the girls react to. One episode they might be at Comiket, but generally they're just in high school and in one scene discussing what kind of animals they'd be, and then later talking about whatever new anime Konata is watching (the others don't really watch anime), or just like... doing high school stuff. Struggling with studying, going to the beach for a day, dealing the dentist etc etc.

Nothing seriously upsetting or bad happens in the entire show. It's just a light-hearted comedy that I find hilarious.

5: Zaypixel

Even if you don't have or don't play Minecraft, I'd still recommend watching Zaypixel. There are a lot of "how to" Minecraft channels on youtube... like... a LOT. But Zaypixel is different because none of the videos are narrated, the buildings are built in survival mode so no disorientating flying around, and its shown from a 3rd person perspective so no motion sickness. Plus Zaypixel is just good at picking music and visuals to make for some really calming videos, just quietly watching someone make a nice house in minecraft.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyKUzAzeTuwxNrZ4AcugbMw

6: Music compilations

There are a myriad of channels and videos on youtube solely devoted to making hour-long compilations of music to fit any mood or ambience you might be looking for. For some feel good music I literally recommend looking up "feel-good music compilation". There's some great stuff out there. From relaxing JRPG mixes to indie Japanese music to cute anime songs.

Here's another one

ethere's literally so many. There's also one called "Nintendo Music I like to fall asleep to" which is also really good.

7: 李子柒 Liziqi

You probably already know Liziqi's youtube channel but I'm gonna recommend her in case you don't.

Liziqi is a lady who lives in rural China with her grandparents. After an extremely rough period in her life up to and including homelessness for a while, she started her youtube channel where she merely makes video content of her life on her grandparent's farm.

Her videos include things like the traditional Chinese method of making and dyeing wool for a blanket, harvesting wild foods with which she then makes supper for her and her grandmother, or all the ways in which she uses wheat in her home.

Her content stands out due to the high quality of her filming and how she directs her shots and marries them to music, making it feel like a higher quality product than a vlogging channel would

https://www.youtube.com/c/cnliziqi/videos

Next I'm gonna recommend some things I haven't checked out yet myself but which are pretty high on my "to watch" list.

8: Yuru Camp

You probably know this one already. An anime revolving entirely around camping. It follows a group of cute anime girls, all of which have different personalities who enjoy going out and camping. The show is both a slice of life about camping, as well as exploring the relationships between these girls, and also provides tips and instructions on if you'd like to go camping yourself. On top of this, the areas shown in the anime of where the girls go camping are all real places in rural Japan that can be camped at yourself. I've been dying to get to this show, I've just been distracted by other things lately.

9: The Atelier series

Another game series I've been meaning to look into one day when I have the money for it.

I've spoken about these before, but the Atelier games are about you playing as a character (usually a girl) who is starting an Alchemy business. The game focuses around fulfilling orders, usually within a generous time-limit (although there are certain games in the series without time-limits) and gathering ingredients in the wild areas. Either by gathering them like herbs and mushrooms, or by battling creatures in JRPG style fights for drops. You slowly work towards bettering your alchemy shop while following the main plot of the game and meeting a variety of characters who become your friends along the journey.

The games are designed to be positive and uplifting, with lower budget but well designed visuals, cute anime characters, and a leisurely pace.

And then lastly

10: 도기코기 Doggie Corgi

Doggie Corgi is a channel of videos of relaxing music set to looping animations of dogs in various locations. I don't mean a gif loop, I mean long stretches of animation that eventually loop themselves.

And.... that's it. That's the channel XD not much more to say

And that's the list.

This ended up taking a LOT longer than I anticipated, ending with me sacrificing most of my Sunday to writing this (and collecting links and such) so if anyone wants to tip me, here's my ko-fi:

Ko-fi.com/A1387RY

#long post #C-Puff answers #feel good post