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ezukll · 3 months

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✮⋆ 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 🦋

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♈︎ 𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Aries Venus is a very passionate placement, as Aries is the sign of passion and action, while Venus is associated with love, beauty, and relationship. Someone with this placement likely has a very fiery and intense approach to romance and relationships. They are likely to be very passionate and enthusiastic about their partner, and they may have a strong desire to make their relationship exciting and fresh. They may also be very willing to take the lead and to be the one to initiate and take action.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be spontaneous and adventurous.

⋆ Make an effort to keep the relationship interesting.

⋆ Take the lead and initiate adventures.

๋⋆ Show off your passionate side.

⋆ Express your desires and emotions clearly.

⋆ Be willing to take risks for love.

⋆ Show off your confidence and self-esteem.

⋆ Be willing to take the first step in a relationship.

⠀⠀⠀⠀♉︎ 𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗥𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Venus in Taurus is known for its strong sense of security, stability, and comfort. People with their Venus in Taurus typically enjoy taking time to appreciate the finer things in life and may find joy in material possessions and pleasures. They are often described as "old-fashioned" in their approach to relationships and values. They may seek commitment and stability in their romantic relationships and prefer a more traditional set of values when it comes to romance.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Show your interest and affection through small actions and words.

⋆ Give the Taurus Venus attention and allow them to feel heard by asking open-ended questions and focusing on them.

⋆ Be patient, consistent, and respectful in your actions towards them.

⋆ Make time for them and demonstrate that you are willing to put in effort.

⋆ Be honest and communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly and respectfully.

⠀⠀⠀⠀♊︎ 𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗜 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Gemini Venus is known for being a playful, lighthearted, and mischievous placement that adds a spark of fun and excitement to a person's romantic relationships. People with this placement seek out romantic interests who can match their energy and keep up with their witty banter. They may have a tendency to get bored in relationships and love to flirt, so someone who can keep them engaged and entertained is key to winning their affection. However, despite their flirtatious nature, they still enjoy a strong connection and are seeking a partner who they can have deep conversations with as well.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be yourself and show your unique personality.

⋆ Make them laugh and keep the conversation light and fun.

⋆ Be spontaneous and try new things together.

⋆ Give them space to express themself and let them know they can trust you.

⋆ Don't take their flirtatious nature too seriously... they may just be having fun.

If you are able to capture their attention with your unique personality and keep them engaged, you may have a chance with someone with a Gemini Venus.

⠀⠀⠀⠀♋︎ 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗥 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Cancer Venus is known for being emotionally expressive, caring, and sensitive in relationships. People with their Venus in Cancer can be very nurturing and tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. They may crave affection and emotional security, so someone who is understanding and supportive can go a long way in gaining their affection. On the other hand, people with this placement may also struggle with being possessive and overly sensitive towards their partner's actions or words. Ultimately, communication and empathy is key in forming a strong connection with someone who has their Venus in Cancer.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Show compassion and empathy towards their feelings.

⋆ Be understanding and emotionally supportive.

⋆ Create an environment where they can express themselves freely and feel safe.

⋆ Be nurturing and give the comfort they seek.

⋆ Build a strong connection with them through open communication.

⋆ Make them feel loved and appreciated.

⋆ Be genuine and honest with them.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♌︎ 𝗟𝗘𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Leo Venus is described as a passionate, creative, confident, and dramatic placement. People with a Venus in Leo seek out romantic partners who are self-assured and can bring out their artistic side. They may crave a strong physical connection and are often drawn to confident, charismatic partners who can keep up with their fiery personality. They also appreciate the finer things in life and may enjoy luxury or extravagant gestures. However, their passionate nature can also lead to being possessive or jealous in relationships, so communication and trust is key.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Display your confidence and take the lead.

⋆ Show your artistic side through creative dates or gestures.

⋆ Be fun and daring, and don't be afraid to take risks in your romantic interactions.

⋆ Be honest and complimentary, and make sure they feel admired and appreciated.

⋆ Be willing to receive their lavish gestures of affection and don't be afraid to show off a little.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♍︎ 𝗩𝗜𝗥𝗚𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

A Virgo Venus is described as analytical, detail-oriented, and practical in relationships. They may be a bit reserved and prefer to take things slowly and be mindful in their romantic interactions. They tend to value efficiency and may be more objective, logical, and nitpicky when it comes to relationships. However, they also appreciate order and structure and desire a partner who can provide that. They may be more selective and picky when it comes to romantic partners, but once they find the right person, they can be loyal, devoted, and caring.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Make them feel heard and understood, and be mindful of the details.

⋆ Be honest and logical in your interaction and don't be afraid to communicate directly.

⋆ Be organized and methodical in how you approach the relationship.

⋆ Don't be afraid to ask follow-up questions and show curiosity and interest in them.

⋆ Demonstrate that you can provide stability, order, and structure in a relationship.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♎︎ 𝗟𝗜𝗕𝗥𝗔 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Libra Venus is characterized by diplomacy, balance, harmony, and fairness. Those with this placement tend to seek out relationships that are equal in nature, with both sides contributing and working together. They may have an idealistic view of relationships, tending to believe in true love and romance. They may seek a partner who is well-rounded, attractive, and charming, and who can engage in deep conversations and understand the value of compromise. They tend to enjoy relationships where everyone can get along and have a peaceful connection.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be diplomatic and show your ability to keep it balanced and fair.

⋆ Be charming, courteous, and considerate towards them.

⋆ Don't be too aggressive or overpowering in your approaches towards them, as this can be a turn-off.

⋆ Show that you are willing to compromise and see things from their point of view.

⋆ Demonstrate emotional maturity and be willing to express your feelings in a respectful manner.

⠀⠀⠀⠀♏︎ 𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗣𝗜𝗢 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

A Scorpio Venus is characterized by a deep and intense approach to relationships. People with this placement may have emotional walls up, making it challenging for them to open up and be vulnerable. They may have a darker side or be attracted to the hidden depths on others. They may have a strong intuitive nature, seek out deep and meaningful connections, and crave intimacy and trust. They may have high standards and expectations when it comes to relationships and expect their partners to match their intensity and be willing to explore deep levels of trust.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be honest and genuine in your interactions and show them that you can go deep.

⋆ Be open to exploring darker sides and don't shy away from more taboo subjects.

⋆ Show that you can be trustworthy and keep their secrets.

⋆ Demonstrate your passion and commitment and be willing to put in effort.

⋆ Let them know that their emotions are safe with you and make them feel seen and understood.

⠀⠀⠀♐︎ 𝗦𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

A Sagittarius Venus is known for having a free-spirited, adventurous, and flexible approach to relationships. People with this placement may have a tendency to avoid commitment and prefer to explore and try new things. They may crave freedom and independence and may have a hard time settling down. However, they can also bring a zest and excitement to relationships and thrive in exciting and stimulating environments. They may prefer casual relationships with a lack of limitations but can still have serious long-standing relationships if their needs are met.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be spontaneous and willing to try new things.

⋆ Show your adventurous and playful side, and be open to exploring and new experiences.

⋆ Don't be too clingy or controlling, as they prefer their freedom and can be more independent.

⋆ Be honest and upfront in your communication and don't be afraid to be straightforward.

⋆ Demonstrate your sense of humor and have a fun-loving attitude that matches their spirit.

⠀⠀⠀♑︎ 𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗡 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Capricorn Venus is described as a responsible, practical, and loyal placement, seeking commitment and stability in relationships. People with this placement may be more reserved and may have high standards when it comes to selecting a partner. They may take things slowly and prefer to establish a solid foundation before committing to someone. They may require time to open up and express their emotions, but once they trust someone, they can be loyal and devoted partners who prioritize their relationship.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be reliable, responsible, and trustworthy.

⋆ Demonstrate your ability to be practical and realistic in your interactions.

⋆ Respect their need for space and alone time.

⋆ Be open to committing and showing loyalty.

⋆ Show that you can take the relationship seriously and want something long-lasting and stable.

⠀⠀⠀⠀♒︎ 𝗔𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗨𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Aquarius Venus is characterized by a unique and innovative approach to relationships. They may prefer unconventional partners and seek out connections that are dynamic and stimulating. They may not fit into traditional relationship structures or dynamics and may be attracted to more progressive thinking and ideas. They may prefer to explore deeper connections and be attracted to someone who can match their independent and unique vibe. Ultimately, they will thrive with someone who is open-minded and can embrace their unorthodox nature.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be open-minded and non-judgmental in your interactions.

⋆ Respect their need for independence and autonomy.

⋆ Allow them to express themself freely and don't try to control or limit them in any way.

⋆ Show your ability to keep up with their innovative and unorthodox nature.

⋆ Be willing to explore their unconventional thinking and ideas.

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♓︎ 𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗦 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗦

Pisces Venus is characterized by a sensitive and compassionate approach to relationships. People with this placement may have a tendency to romanticize their relationships and can be very forgiving and accepting of their partners' flaws. They may have a strong connection to their spirituality and have a heightened intuition about others. They may be empathic and perceptive, easily sensing someone's emotions. They may tend to get lost in their feelings and desire deep connections, but they may also get overwhelmed by their emotions or their partners' feelings.

⠀⠀⠀🦋 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧

⋆ Be compassionate and empathetic in your interactions.

⋆ Recognize their sensitivity and allow them to express their feelings freely without judgment.

⋆ Show that you can be reliable and trustworthy, and respect their need for depth and a sense of spiritual connection.

⋆ Be patient, understanding, and open-minded when it comes to their emotions.

⋆ Be a good listener and let them know that you understand and accept them for who they are.

#astrology #zodiac #astrology observations #zodiac signs #venus signs #aries venus #taurus venus #gemini venus #cancer venus #leo venus #virgo venus #libra venus #scorpio venus #sagittarius venus #capricorn venus #aquarius venus #pisces venus

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cherienymphe · 4 months

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Teenage Dirtbag VIII (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

“Rafe would never…”

Sarah’s loud huff reached your ears as you shrugged at her, making yourself some breakfast. The man in question was sleeping in, breathing evenly when you left his room. You’d been sleeping over at his house more as of late, and while Rafe was under the impression it was some attempt to show how bad you felt for ‘defending’ JJ at that party weeks ago…

Only you knew the truth.

JJ had kissed you.

…and you’d kissed him back.

His show of ‘taking it’ did not in fact make you feel better because you both knew it was a lie—a poor attempt to absolve you of responsibility. To lessen your role in it when in truth…you hadn’t even tried to fight back. Not really. You’d allowed it to happen, and you couldn’t decide if you regretted it or not. On one hand, the kiss was something you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for weeks, and on the other…

You’d cheated on your boyfriend.

The thought of what you did made you nauseous, and not because you didn’t want to hurt Rafe…but because you didn’t want him to hurt you. You thought about that day JJ had smiled at you in The Wreck, back when you barely even knew him, and you thought about how you’d smiled back—something so harmless. You would never forget the feel of that gun in your mouth. You would never forget the fear that weighed down on you.

Heavy enough to make you call the police.

You’d allowed something to happen that shouldn’t have, but that didn’t mean it needed to happen again. Hiding one kiss from Rafe was doable. Hiding anything more… You didn’t even want to let your mind wander into dangerous territory. There wasn’t going to be anything else to hide, and yet…even as you thought that…you couldn’t help but to entertain the thought.

You really really liked being around JJ, and to make matters worse, you liked kissing him even more. It had sparked something in you that you weren’t sure you liked. You recalled how on edge you’d been that night. So much so that when Rafe kissed you, you’d been eager to kiss him back. What kind of girlfriend were you to imagine someone else while having sex with your boyfriend?

It wasn’t right, and you couldn’t afford to make another mistake, and that’s why you weren’t keen on the conversation you were having with Sarah at the moment.

“Come on,” Sarah pleaded. “We’re literally going to be at Kie’s house instead of John B.’s because of you.”

You paused, eyeing her.

“I know that Rafe will never be convinced to let you go all the way to The Cut, so Kie offered up her place,” Sarah explained with a shrug. “Her parents are out of town, and they reluctantly approved having some friends over.”

You thought on that with a small frown.

“…and it’ll just be us girls.”

That eased your worry, and you sighed.

“Say the word, and I’ll talk to Rafe myself. He already knows I think he’s way too controlling with you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll argue with him about this until I’m blue in the face.”

You eyed her again, chewing on your lip at the thought. You’d had a lot of fun the last time you hung out with them, and the knowledge that JJ wouldn’t be around did make you feel better. After that night in front of your pool house, you weren’t sure you trusted yourself around him. He made you feel things that reminded you too much of what it was like to be…happy.

It was an addicting feeling.

“…okay,” you reluctantly said to her, voice soft.

Sarah’s half smile was wicked, and you chuckled at her, watching her run upstairs with a shake of your head.

You didn’t quite understand why Sarah had taken it upon herself to pull you into her social life, but you didn’t think you were mad about it anymore. Rafe was your present and future, and as much as the thought depressed you, you imagined your future would be a lot bleaker if you weren’t at least friends with his sister. Wheezie was great too, but she was so much younger than you.

When Rafe finally came downstairs almost an hour later, you didn’t need to be a genius to know that Sarah had woken him up in order to plead her case. Your boyfriend didn’t look the most enthusiastic when your eyes met his, and you fixed him with a pleading look of your own.

“It’s just going to be the girls,” you quietly reassured him as he neared you. “…and we’re going to be at Kiara’s.”

“That’s reassuring,” he snorted, and the sarcasm was strong in his tone.

You resisted the urge to sigh.

“What do you think is going to happen with Sarah, Kiara, and Cleo?” you argued. “Worst case scenario we watch movies, get drunk, and you have to pick me up.”

You could see the thought process behind Rafe’s eyes, and when he eventually gripped your chin between his fingers, relief filled you. Rafe’s kiss was soft, lips gently touching yours, and like with many kisses in the weeks passed, you couldn’t help but to think about whose it wasn’t.

“I guess I can humor Sarah, so I won’t have to hear her bullshit,” he murmured, and you gave him a small smile. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she was trying to steal you from me.”

Rafe’s tone was humorous, but you swore there was a glimmer of seriousness in his gaze. Despite that, you gave a nervous chuckle.

“No one can steal me from you, Rafe.”

He eyed you, tracing his gaze over your face, and you swallowed as Rafe tilted his head.

“I know that,” he said matter-of-factly. “…and you know that too.”

When he kissed you again, you kissed him back.

“What? Cleo, you have to come,” you told her. “I’ll invite you myself.”

You could hear Sarah and Kiara making some more drinks in the kitchen behind you. The girl before you made a face, and you laughed at the disgust there.

“Spending all night with a bunch of stuffy Kooks? No, thank you,” she said with a shake of her head.

You took another sip of your drink with a hum.

“It’s actually more fun than you think,” you reassured her. “…and plus you get to dress up like a princess.”

“You are an actual princess, so of course you’d say that.”

“Are you guys talking about Midsummers?” Sarah wondered, rejoining you two. “Y/N, give it up. You’ll never get Cleo to go in a million years.”

She handed you a new fruity drink.

“Kie is technically a Kook, and even she doesn’t like going.”

The girl in question sat down across from you, and you looked at her in wonder.

“Really? Why not?”

The brunette wasn’t the most talkative with you, but that didn’t stop you from trying. You recalled Sarah’s comment about Kiara’s distrust—something you didn’t blame her for—but you were relieved to see that she was loosening up around you. Even if it was only because of the alcohol.

“…because it’s classist and consumerist, and a gross display of the disparity in wealth on this island. I mean, it’s full of people discussing the pros and cons of a second home when other people on this island need a second job to get by,” she told you. “The whole thing disgusts me.”

Kiara said all of this evenly, like it was something that easily flew off of her tongue, and you found yourself gazing into your drink.

“I guess I never thought about it like that…”

…and you hadn’t. It was such a regular part of your life that you had never seen it in an even remotely negative way. You always loved going to Midsummers, dressing up and taking part in something you’d never thought to question. Kiara was right, you supposed. Outer Banks was the kind of place where you either had two jobs or two houses, and you found yourself thinking about a familiar blond.

JJ’s less fortunate circumstances had never been lost on you. After all, you recognized your privilege to have a pool house and offered it to him. However, you had never stopped to really think about the somewhat ridiculousness of that though. The fact that you even had an extra house—no matter how small—to offer him.

You took a sip of your drink.

“I promise I’m not trying to radicalize you or anything,” the other girl sighed. “I just hate all the grand tone deaf displays on this side of the island.”

You were just about to tell her that it was more than okay when Cleo perked up.

“Is someone outside?”

You frowned at her, but Sarah and Kiara turned towards the window, and Sarah’s groan made your heart sink for some reason.

“I told them it was just going to be us girls,” she complained, pushing herself to her feet.

She swayed a bit as she did, and you were reminded of how many drinks you’d had. You didn’t need to be a genius to know who she was talking about, and—out of nervousness or confusion on what to do with your hands—you downed the rest of your drink. You stood on unsteady feet, silently making your way to the kitchen just as you heard John B.’s voice.

“Plenty of times you’ve crashed guys night,” you heard him laugh. “Sucks, doesn’t it? Hey, whose car is that outside?”

You focused on making another drink as Sarah told him it was yours, and surprisingly, your heart wasn’t threatening to leap out of your chest. You blamed the alcohol for your calm demeanor because you knew that if you were sober, you would be a lot more panicked at the arrival of John B., Pope…and JJ.

You hadn’t seen the blond since that night, but you had seen the occasional light on in the pool house, so you knew that he was periodically sleeping there. You didn’t exactly know how you were going to act around him, now. After all, he’d kissed you and touched you in ways that a friend definitely shouldn’t. Doubly so since you had a boyfriend.

You paused to think about that, wondering if you could call JJ a friend. He couldn’t be your friend and trying to refer to him as one seemed so disingenuous for so many reasons. For starters, JJ made it very clear that he had no intention of being your friend, and all he’d done since that day was prove that to you. JJ couldn’t be your…anything.

When you reentered the living room with a fresh drink, he was standing by the couch where Kie sat. The brunette was talking to Cleo and Pope about something while the blonde’s eyes focused on you the moment you stepped into the room. You tried to ignore the way he straightened, and the way he eyed you, glancing away and taking a sip of your drink.

You were thinking to yourself that you should leave…but you weren’t exactly in any condition to drive and calling Rafe would only lead to trouble. You really didn’t want to fathom how he’d react to pulling into the yard and seeing John B.’s van. As if reading your mind, Sarah left her boyfriend and hurried over to you.

“I know they’re not supposed to be here,” she started.

“Yeah,” you slurred. “It’s literally the only reason Rafe let me come.”

Sarah pressed her lips together, and the sheepish look on her face let you know that you weren’t going to like what she said next.

“John B. wants us all to go back to The Chateau…”

“Sarah.”

You were drunk, but not too drunk to ignore what an incredibly bad idea that was for you. Your eyes were wide as you looked at her, and she reached for you.

“He’s going to bring us back later tonight,” she explained. “They’ll be gone, and you can call Rafe to come get you.”

“Why do I have to go? Why are we going, anyway?”

Sarah rolled her eyes.

“…because JJ rolled a few blunts, and Kie does not want her parents’ house smelling like weed. Which is valid, I guess…”

You sighed as she trailed off. Even if you weren’t several drinks into the night, you’d probably still be tempted to go. However, if you were sober, you knew that you’d turn the suggestion down without hesitation and stand firm in that. At the moment, though, you were incredibly interested. You didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s fun, and in truth, you enjoyed sitting around fire with Sarah’s friends. The plan sounded solid in theory, but you were unsure…

“I don’t know, Sarah…” you glanced away, ignoring JJ’s gaze. “If Rafe found out I went to the other side of the island with you…”

Just as Sarah was about to speak, the last person you wanted spoke instead.

“She can stay for a little bit, Sarah, and then I’ll drive her back.”

Your eyes met a familiar blue pair, and Sarah turned around with a smile. JJ’s hands were shoved into his pockets, and despite the fact that he’d said it to Sarah, his gaze was focused on you. He swiped his tongue between his lips as he waited for what you had to say, Sarah eventually joining as she turned to look at you again.

“My bike’s at John B.’s, so I can take you back whenever you want,” he said with a shrug.

It was odd. You recognized that JJ was the last person you should be around, and yet, all you wanted to do was take him up on his offer. Were you really about to risk fucking up so badly just to steal twenty minutes alone with JJ? You eyed him, and just then your phone vibrated, heart skipping a beat when you saw a text from Rafe. You stared at the words on the screen for a minute, reading them over and over again.

Rafe wanted to know what ‘you girls’ were up to…and with shaky fingers, you told him you were about to watch a movie, buying yourself two hours. Carefully placing your phone on the side table, you told the two blondes in front of you ‘okay’. Sarah beamed while you simply avoided JJ’s heated gaze.

You were nursing a beer while Sarah drunkenly told the story of how she lost her virginity to John B.—in a church of all places. Your gaze was focused on the dirt and grass beneath your shoes, not really a participant in the conversation. Cleo was to your left…while JJ was to your right, and the presence of the blond was getting harder and harder to ignore.

The ride over had been awkward for you and sitting around a fire with Sarah’s friends felt even less so. Already drunker than you would like to be, you’d declined Pope’s offer when he’d tried to pass you the blunt in the van on the way over. The last thing you needed was to become even more paranoid than you already were.

You’d left both your phone and your car at Kie’s, but you couldn’t stop worrying that something was going to go wrong. You’d told Rafe that you were about to watch a movie, hoping he’d get the hint not to reach out to you for at least two hours, but it would be just like him to call or swing by unannounced. You knew this was a bad idea, and now even more so because you couldn’t even relax enough to enjoy yourself.

“What about you?”

You didn’t get the hint that Kie was talking to you—not even when JJ tensed—until Sarah made a very loud noise of protest.

“No, no, absolutely not!” the blonde loudly said, waving her arms. “What did I say about asking Y/N sex questions?”

John B. snorted.

“First time stories barely count, to be honest. They’re almost always bad…and short,” he chuckled.

“I don’t care,” she cried, pressing her fingers to her eyes. “She’s dating my brother.”

“…yeah, but we’re talking about her first time. That…”

John B. trailed off at the look Sarah gave him, and you sheepishly shrugged when everyone slowly looked at you.

“Unfortunately, Sarah is correct in her assumption,” you admitted. “My first time does involve Rafe.”

There was a visceral and audible reaction at that, and Sarah looked vindicated.

“Yeah, move on to someone else,” she pleaded with a laugh.

The brief mention of Rafe had your heart sinking again, and as Cleo’s voice filled your ears, you were pulled from your thoughts by the feel of JJ’s fingers grazing yours. You flinched from shock, glancing up to meet his gaze as he reached for your beer. No one else was paying attention, too busy laughing at whatever Cleo said.

You didn’t look away from JJ as he took your drink, watching as he brought the bottle to his own lips. The sight reminded you of what it’d felt like to touch those lips, and you could feel yours parting, sharply inhaling as you tried to force yourself to look away. His blue eyes looked between yours, and JJ spoke when he lowered his hand.

“Whenever you’re ready to go…just let me know,” he whispered to you.

“I’m not,” you replied just as quietly, taking your beer back.

When Pope suggested firing up the hot tub—otherwise dubbed as The Cat’s Ass—you declined. JJ did too, and none of them gave it a second thought as Cleo asked Sarah if she had an extra bathing suit top lying around John B.’s place. You took the opportunity to stand, pausing as the world spun a bit, before making your way to the dock.

Even if his footsteps were quiet, you knew that JJ was following you, and trying to keep yourself from doing something you’d regret again, you continued the conversation from earlier.

“What was your first time like?” you wondered with a smile, passing him your beer.

JJ seemed to see right through you, respecting your decision to avoid the elephant in the room, and he chuckled. You sat down at the end of the dock, looking up at him as he stared out into the water. The blond made a face, and you chuckled.

“Uh, it pretty much goes how you would expect,” he lightly said. “Except for Sarah obviously…”

JJ sat down next to you.

“Some girl I was really into…we had a few beers at her place while her parents were gone and…it lasted all of three minutes,” he proudly said. “I was fifteen.”

You rested your chin on your knees.

“Was she pretty?”

JJ threw you a crooked smile.

“She was,” he told you. “Are you jealous?”

You rolled your eyes, looking out into the water.

“You’re not my boyfriend, JJ. Why would I be…”

He didn’t respond right away at that, and again, you wracked your brain as to how you would avoid talking about what happened the last time you saw him. You were torn between wanting to talk about it, wanting to kiss him again, and just plain running away. A conversation with JJ didn’t seem so harmless, now. Not after he’d kissed you and flat out told you that he didn’t respect your relationship nor your boyfriend.

“What about your first time?”

Somehow, you hadn’t expected that, and you tensed.

For a brief moment, you were back in the Cameron house, trying to back away from Rafe as he yelled at you about something so insignificant. Your chest clenched painfully as you recalled that day, and you blinked, clearing your throat.

“You don’t want to hear about that.”

“I know it was with Rafe, but…I can forget that for the sake of this conversation, I promise,” JJ teasingly said, a hand on his chest when you looked at him. “Scout’s honor that I won’t gag.”

You gave a light laugh, straightening and shaking your head.

“Trust me, JJ, it’s not really something you want to hear.”

There was a brief pause.

“What? Was…was it that bad? Are you telling me Rafe Cameron is bad in bed? Who would’ve thought,” he mockingly commented.

You looked at him, opening and closing your mouth before letting out a sigh.

“It wasn’t like that,” you slowly told him with a sad smile. “I just mean… It’s kind of a mood killer. Not exactly a nice story.”

You could recognize that all of the drinks in your system had you being less reserved with your words than usual, and you watched JJ blink. A slow frown formed over his features, and you watched him run his gaze over you.

“What does that mean?” JJ slowly asked. “Are you saying he hurt you or something…?”

“No,” you were quick to argue. “No, it’s not…”

You huffed, looking out at the water.

“That’s not what I mean,” you sighed. “I just mean it’s not a fun little campfire story.”

“…and I’m asking you what the hell does that mean?” he chuckled, but it didn’t sound humorous. “Like…you realize you’re scaring me a little, right?”

When you looked at JJ again, you could see how true that was, and your chest lowered as you exhaled through your nose. You turned away from him again, taking in the sight of the half moon’s reflection in the water. You could feel JJ’s gaze on you as you thought it over, realizing that he wasn’t going to drop it, and if you were just an okay liar when sober, you could only imagine how bad you were when you were drunk.

Taking back the beer, you quickly drank the rest of it, hating the way your words slurred a bit when you spoke.

“It was…maybe about a month after my nineteenth birthday,” you mumbled, staring at the water despite not really seeing it. “…and Rafe was…mad.”

You shook your head, remembering the venom in his voice and the way his nostrils flared and that plain old mean look in his eyes.

“It was so stupid…and I was so confused,” you said with a frown. “…and I just wanted to leave and talk about it in the morning.”

You scoffed, reminded of Rafe cornering you against the wall.

“…but Rafe wouldn’t let me. Every time I tried, he… He wanted a fight,” you shrugged. “…and then he grabbed me…”

You could see him shaking you as you stared out into the water. You could see it like it happened yesterday, and you could hear him screaming at you and sneering at you before shoving you so hard you fell against the counter. There hadn’t been any point in trying to get up…and then he was there—on you and tearing at your dress.

“…and,” you quietly dragged out. “He just didn’t care what I wanted.”

You forgot all about JJ as you watched yourself scream and push against your boyfriend. To this day, you didn’t know if the alcohol in your system that night helped or hindered you. You swore that it made the memory that much more vivid, but at the same time, maybe it dulled it much more than you knew. As you remembered Rafe’s panic when his family pulled up and the way he all but dragged you upstairs, you forgot that you were sitting on John B.’s dock all the way on the other side of the island.

For a moment you were back in that house on that day, crying on the floor of Rafe’s bedroom.

You forgot that you weren’t actually there…until JJ spoke.

“Are you joking?”

His question came out harsh, startling you, and when you looked at JJ again, there was a deep frown on his face. His brows were tightly drawn together, and his lips were parted, a mixture of confusion and disbelief and horror covering his features.

“You are joking, right?”

You licked your lips, trying to gather your thoughts.

“JJ…things were…really bad then-.”

“What does that mean? ‘Bad then’…what…?” JJ scoffed, pressing his head into his hands. “What does that mean? What does that even mean because what you just described…”

JJ gestured to you, wide eyes blinking.

“He raped you,” he stated in shock. “You just told me…that your boyfriend…raped you, and all you can say is that things were bad then?”

JJ’s voice was getting louder, and you looked towards the yard, relieved to hear the rest of them still laughing in the hot tub.

“I’m saying that that doesn’t really happen anymore and…”

You trailed off when JJ stood, following his lead, and you absolutely hated the way he was looking at you.

“This has happened more than once.”

He said it more like a statement than a question, but his tone indicated that he wanted an answer…or more specifically confirmation.

“I’m just saying that this isn’t as big of a deal as you’re trying to make it,” you breathed. “You know Rafe. You’ve met him, you’ve fought him, you know what he can be like!”

JJ just stared at you, not moving, and you nervously peeked towards the yard again. JJ noticed, and he blinked at you, a look on his face that you couldn’t place. Yes, what Rafe did was wrong, but you couldn’t exactly flat out say why you stayed with a man who raped you. You didn’t have much choice but to downplay it, attempting to get JJ to see it your way, but it turned out that your efforts were in vain.

“Does he hurt you?”

The question came out so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him, and once it registered, you froze. You could hear your heart thumping in your ears, and the rest of Sarah’s friends sounded so far away. Your vision swam for the briefest of moments, and you touched your temple. Your drunk brain was scrambling, and you answered too late.

“What?” you whispered.

JJ blinked a few times, lips parting, and you watched him reach up to run his hands through his hair.

“I feel like an idiot,” he whispered. “I feel so stupid.”

Your breath was shaky, and you shook your head.

“JJ, no, it’s not… It’s not like that,” you slowly tried to explain.

That seemed to make him angry, and the look JJ gave you made your blood run cold.

“No?” he wondered, nostrils flaring. “Alright, okay.”

He reached for his phone, turning from you.

“I don’t really feel sober enough to take you home, so hey. Why don’t I get Rafe’s number from Sarah, and since it’s not like that, he’ll only be a little mad-.”

He cut himself off at the feel of you yanking on his sleeve, forcing him to a stop. Your fingers were digging into his skin through the fabric when he turned to face you, and your lips were trembling, but you both knew it wasn’t from the cold. Your gaze was pleading when his eyes met yours again, and JJ’s jaw ticked at your silent—but obvious—answer to his question.

The blonde’s gaze softened as he stared at you, and you could see the reality of the answer to his question finally hitting him. He slowly fully faced you, pressing his lips together as he looked at you, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear he was going over every interaction in his mind.

“Please don’t tell Sarah,” you whispered, and JJ looked at you in disbelief.

“That…that’s what you’re worried about?” he gasped. “You don’t want me to tell Sarah? Fuck Sarah, I should be telling the police.”

“You don’t get it,” you choked out with a shake of your head, fighting back tears.

“Don’t get what? What am I not getting? Why are you still with…? How long has this been going on?”

You turned away from JJ, pressing the tips of your fingers to your forehead. JJ followed you down the dock, and you only realized you were crying when your face felt so much colder.

“Why-?”

“He will kill me!”

When you looked at JJ again, you were full on sobbing, now. You pressed your hands to your neck, staring at him through your tears as JJ just stood frozen. You glanced away, pressing one hand to your mouth while the other wrapped around your waist. You hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but once you did, it was like you couldn’t stop.

“You don’t think I’ve tried to leave? Huh?” you cried. “You don’t think that I’ve tried to break up with him? Tried to…fight back?”

“Hey,” JJ whispered, approaching you.

“He’ll kill me,” you sobbed. “…and this isn’t-this isn’t something I think, this is something I know. He’s tried to before.”

JJ paused at that, but it was brief, and he quickly pulled you into his arms. He tightened them around you as he held you, trying to shush you, but it was a futile attempt. You didn’t know if it was all the drinks you’d had—or simply the feeling of finally telling someone—but you couldn’t stop crying no matter how much you tried. In the back of your mind, you felt that you’d regret this in the morning.

However, a part of you—a part that resided in your chest—felt so relieved.

You pressed your face into JJ’s shoulder as he tried to quiet you, running his hands over your back. You could feel a headache coming on, probably from both the tears and the drinks, and the turn this night had taken only made you want to lie down. You didn’t even know how you were going to pull yourself together in time to go back home to Rafe.

You could feel JJ’s hand on the back of your neck, and when he turned his head—and turned yours—your lips met.

It took you by surprise, making your breath hitch, and if JJ minded the saltiness of the kiss, he didn’t speak on it. This kiss wasn’t like the first one, and even though you couldn’t tell how exactly, it just felt different. You could still hear Sarah and her friends talking and whatnot in the hot tub, none the wiser to what was taking place on the dark dock. JJ’s thumbs brushed your tears away as he moved his lips against yours, and you remembered that this was something you weren’t going to do again.

You tried to pull away, but JJ wouldn’t let you, humming into the kiss.

You didn’t want to stop, but you knew that you needed to. The night had not gone how you thought it would, and it was time to go home. Your mind was going a mile a minute with the knowledge that you’d told JJ the truth and the fact that he was kissing you again. The alcohol in your system had contributed to too many bad decisions tonight, and you literally feared what tomorrow would bring as you kept kissing JJ on the dock.

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