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#its been a while since i've drawn my boi

peachdues · 9 months

Text

Phantasmagoria (Part I)

Tell Me to Stop (Sanemi’s Version)

Sanemi x F!Reader, Modern AU

A/N: it's time. This one is very personal to me, and I've drawn a lot upon my own life/experiences to write this. I hope it lives up to expectations, but in case it doesn't, remember there is still a part two and a part three (so more smut/angst/feelings).

Massive TW: grief, loss of parent to cancer, canon character death (in non-canon way), drug and alcohol abuse, anger, unhealthy coping mechanisms galore.

CW: 10.5k words; explicit sexual content. Unprotected sex/oral (F!receiving), mildly dubious consent (Reader doesn't tell Sanemi it's her first time, and there's a question whether he would've done it); both Sanemi and Reader are under the influence. Creampie, lots of cursing, angst.

For the playlist, listen here.

Without further ado!

Speak in tongues / I don't even recognize your face / mirror on the wall / tell me all the ways to stay away

phan·tas·ma·go·ri·a – an exhibition of optical effects and illusions; a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.

Once upon a time, as a little girl, she’d believed love was pretty; she imagined it would be soft, pink, and shiny and make her feel warm and pretty in return.

As an adult, she’d come to realize that love wasn’t pretty at all; it was cold, lonely, and painful.

Love was dull and harsh and all-consuming.

Love was black.

For Y/N, loving Sanemi Shinazugawa was like falling into one of the black holes she’d learned about in science class as a child. It was infinite and empty and there was no space for anything but the all-consuming void that promised to rip her apart and condemn her to oblivion.

This love had taken her naïve, romantic heart to chew up and spit back out, leaving her only with a misshapen lump held together by the leftover sinew of her hopes and dreams.

Y/N believed her love for Sanemi would be the death of her. It was a poison that had seeped into her veins and was slowly rotting her from the inside out. She knew it was stupid to love someone who would not and could not love her back, but she hadn’t yet figured out a way to stop.

And since she could not stop loving him, she could only resign herself to its toxicity until it killed her for good.

—————————————————————————

Summer had ended, and Y/N was dreading having to return to Ubayashiki University. Dreading it because she’d spent the entirety of the summer back in her – their – hometown, caring for her ailing mother, and that isolation had meant she didn’t have to wake up every day with a pit in her stomach at the thought of running into him. But then her mother had finally succumbed to her illness a week prior, and Y/N was now forced to carry on in the world as though hers had not just been blown apart.

Looking back, Genya’s death had marked the end for a lot of things, including the once-irreverent trio that had been Y/N, Kyojuro, and Sanemi.

They had been friends – the best of friends, really, since pre-school, in large part because of their parents. Kyojuro, as warm and as vibrant as the sun, had been their grounding force, always wise beyond his years but quick to laugh. Then there was Sanemi, and though he could be prone to his episodes of anger, he was a staunch, loyal defender of his friends and would do anything if it meant making them smile. Last, there had been Y/N, and she’d been so happy to just love her boys and be loved by them. She’d always felt invincible with them by her side, ready to take on the world, together.

And for a while, they did.

Their friendship withstood even the toughest of trials. It lasted through the death of Kyojuro’s mother and the subsequent decline of his father, so unable to cope that he could not function without the bitter sting of alcohol to soothe the pain of Rukka’s absence. Their friendship had even endured the deaths of both Sanemi’s and Genya’s parents at the hands of a drunk driver, the shrapnel from the crash permanently scarring both of the boys’ faces, though Sanemi had born the worst of it.

But because they’d had one another, they’d made it through. Y/N’s own mother, though a single parent, took in both Shinazugawa boys until the state placed them in a home, though that rarely stopped Sanemi from frequenting Y/N’s house after school. Even Kyojuro grew to be a constant fixture around her house, drawn to the warmth and love her mother showed both boys as if they were her own.

And then they all grew up, and they were set to begin their first year of university at Ubaya-U come the fall. The three of them had been eager to set out into the world, to grab at any and all opportunities that arose, and for each of them to become great in their own right.

But not two weeks into the fall semester, Sanemi received the phone call that had brought his world crashing down around him. Genya, his beloved, cherished younger brother, had been shot dead outside of their foster home, killed by some kid in retaliation for some fight Genya hadn’t picked.

Y/N hadn’t been with him when he received the news, instead only getting a text from Kyojuro to getthefuckoverhereNOW. She’d bolted from her class and ran to the boys’ dorm across campus. She’d found Sanemi, curled into a ball on the floor beneath a hole he’d punched into the drywall, sobbing, and she hadn’t known what else to do but hold him along with Kyojuro while her own tears threatened to blind her.

Hours later, when Sanemi realized he would have to return to their hometown to make final arrangements, he’d asked Y/N to accompany him to the train station. Kyojuro would have gone as well, but he’d been unable to call off from work, and so the three had planned for Y/N to return with him the next day, as she was the only one between the three of them with a car on campus.

Of course, Y/N agreed to drive Sanemi to the train station, because she couldn’t possibly imagine leaving him alone. He’d looked so lost, so broken, and she would’ve done anything, anything at all, to lessen the weight on his shoulders.

Because she loved him, and she’d loved him for years, and love meant giving everything you had, everything you were to the other, especially in times of need. So she agreed, and though he’d been unable to speak, Sanemi had rested his head on her shoulder in silent gratitude.

She’d not known that, in her efforts to love and support him at his lowest, she would doom their group’s entire dynamic.

In retrospect, she shouldn’t have said anything. It was the wrong time, the wrong way to tell him what was in her heart, and she’d known that; but she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She’d been unable to stop the way her heart clenched as she walked him towards the platform at Amane Station, his head hung low and his eyes rimmed red from hours of crying. It hurt her to see him in such pain, hurt so badly that she’d been desperate to alleviate it in any way she could. She’d thought it would have been enough to hug him, to give him a reassuring squeeze and a promise that she and Kyo would be back home the following morning and that he wouldn’t be alone.

But then, before she could stop them, those cursed words had fallen from her lips and ruined her, ruined everything.

I love you, Sanemi. With all my heart.

As soon as she’d heard herself say it, she’d known she’d fucked up. She knew, as Sanemi stiffened in her embrace and pulled away from her, that she’d indelibly altered things between them, and that she could never take those words back. And she’d known, the moment she saw the cold, bewildered look in his eyes, so angry it made her stomach drop, that he neither returned nor wanted her love.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” He snapped, stepping back from her, creating a chasm between them that could not be bridged.

His train had finally arrived, and he’d stormed away from her, turned his back to her, and refused to look back as he boarded the car. She’d stayed behind, standing there amidst a throng of travelers and their families, for a long while, tears slipping hot and fast down her cheeks until the salt burned permanent tracks into her skin.

It hadn’t mattered that Kyojuro had called her later, Sanemi having filled him in on what happened, what she’d done, to tell her not to worry; that Sanemi had just been frustrated and overwhelmed, and that all would be well between them after the funeral.

Kyojuro lied. Sanemi hadn’t so much as looked her way the entire time she and Kyo were with him during his brother’s funeral and had refused to even acknowledge her small greeting. Y/N understood he was going through the worst pain imaginable, and she’d known he was angry because she’d dumped her feelings on him when he’d been in no place to receive them, but his rejection still fucking hurt.

Worse than his rejection had been his total ignorance of her, his obstinate refusal to so much as acknowledge her existence. Y/N hadn’t been able to understand how he could be so angry with her to not even treat her like a person, to pretend as though they hadn’t been friends – best friends – since they were in diapers.

Y/N had wanted to give him space, however, and wanted herself to stop loving him so things could one day go back to how they’d been, so she started to distance herself from Sanemi, believing she would still have Kyojuro, her sun, to lean on if she needed it.

But she’d been wrong, so very wrong. Because Kyojuro had defended Sanemi with a not-so-gentle reminder that ‘he’s dealing with a lot right now,’ which only fractured her heart even more because Kyojuro had taken a side and it hadn’t been hers.

Thus, Y/N was left to love them both at a distance, and she was forced to watch them carry on their friendship without her, even though they’d all come to Ubaya-U together and even though her exile from the group meant that Y/N had no friends at all.

So, her first semester at university, the semester she’d dreamed would be life-changing and exciting, became a cacophony of sobs smothered into her pillow at night so her roommate wouldn’t hear her winking out like a dying star. And she had no friends, because her best friend didn’t think she was his, and she couldn’t stop loving a boy who didn’t want to love her back.

—————————————————————————

Her mom got sick in the spring of her first year. Initially, it had been a good prognosis. Y/N somehow managed to balance her busy, pre-law class load with her mother’s care, fluidly alternating between office hours and hospital appointments. But no friends meant she’d had no one to talk to, no one to lean on in those moments when her legs gave out and sobs wracked her body because she’d been so fucking scared of losing her mom. But she’d been kept busy enough to be able to squash that loneliness down and ignore it like her boys had ignored her, and so, she’d pushed through.

By the time summer had come, however, things had grown exponentially worse. Several nights ended in Y/N having to call an ambulance to rush to her home, because her mom had fallen and Y/N wasn’t strong enough to lift her by herself, and there hadn’t been anyone else she could call.

There had been a few times – maybe two or three – when she’d passed Kyojuro on the street, home briefly to check on his little brother, and the fiery blonde would make a face like he wanted to say something like he wanted to talk to her or care about her, but Y/N would turn and run before he had the chance.

She never saw Sanemi, though that hadn’t surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to be able to stomach being back home so soon after Genya.

Her mother’s condition yo-yoed throughout the summer and into the early fall of her second year of university. Just when it finally seemed as though things were looking up for her mother, when she was just days from her last treatment, she died.

No one had been there to hold her – to comfort her – when Y/N began wailing as her mother’s chest rose for the last time and did not go back down.

Her mother had died, and Y/N had been left utterly and completely alone.

Her mother’s funeral had taken place on a sunny October day, the autumn air cool and crisp as an apple. She’d stood beside her mother’s casket as stranger after stranger passed, offering their condolences and personal anecdotes of her mother’s kindness.

Not once had she seen a familiar face. Not once had either of her boys made an appearance, not even for the woman who had loved them as her own.

She’d returned to campus a few days later, and because the universe had decided she’d not suffered nearly enough for some unknown crime, she ran into him. By the cruelest twist of fate, Sanemi decided to cross the street opposite her at the same time, and what was left of her heart skipped several beats.

For all her efforts to put distance between them, she still loved him, and it was a realization so bitter she thought she would start dry heaving right there on the pavement. She tried to duck her head, to avoid catching his attention, but the crosswalk light changed, and he was suddenly walking towards her, and she couldn’t help but chance a glance up.

Lilac eyes collided with her own, and Y/N thought the world was about to open beneath her and swallow her whole.

His gaze lingered for a touch longer than normal for a stranger, and Y/N feared he’d be able to see the scars from her tears on her face or see how her heart still bore the tattoo of his name. But then he blinked, and she took the chance to vanish among the throng of students, dashing back to her dorm before the tears could spill down her cheeks once more.

She barely made it to her room before her legs gave out from under her, her sobs choking from her throat.

She wished her mother had taken her with her.

—————————————————————————

It was fitting that Y/N met the personification of spring at the start of the spring semester.

Her name was Mitsuri, and Y/N sat next to her in her 8:00 AM class. The girl was so bubbly and bright that it was difficult, even for the drab Y/N to resist striking up a conversation with her. Mitsuri was a streak of color that bloomed across Y/N’s eternal gray sky, with her exotic pink and green hair and permanent blush. It took only a few weeks, but Mitsuri and Y/N became the best of friends, and Y/N could not get over how good it felt to have one of those again.

Mitsuri and Y/N began to do everything together, and bit by bit, Y/N felt herself smiling more, laughing as her friend flirted with every him, her, and them who crossed their path. They figured out they shared nearly every class together, and when they weren’t furiously taking notes during their lectures, they were studying together in small corners around campus, dreaming of what was to come after exams and graduation in a year and a half.

Her pink-haired friend helped Y/N feel confident again, like a person. Mitsuri helped bring Y/N back out of the shell she’d so carefully crafted in the wake of her abandonment, and she began to feel a little lighter, a little more buoyant thanks to the happy, beautiful girl at her side.

That wasn’t to say Mitsuri didn’t have her own demons – she very much did. At night, Mitsuri and Y/N push their beds together in the latter’s dorm (Y/N’s first roommate had long since moved out). There, huddled together under the mess of blankets and pillows, they would whisper the names of their heartache with one another – Sanemi and Obanai – and they comforted each other, wiping their tears away with soft promises that as long as they had one another, they would be okay.

By March, Mitsuri convinced Y/N to go clubbing with her. Y/N was hesitant until she looked in the mirror after her friend had spent the evening primping her and turning her into a woman Y/N scarcely recognized in the mirror. Her friend had dressed her in a short, emerald green dress that hugged every curve just right, a teasing slit going high up on her left thigh. Y/N’s hair had been slicked back into a high ponytail that swung tantalizingly between her shoulder blades. Her cleavage was a bit more exposed in the pinkette’s dress than Y/N was accustomed to, but damn if she didn’t look downright sumptuous.

Y/N was determined to let loose, to not think about the black stain on her heart that was him, and so she greedily accepted Mitsuri’s hand as the two braved the chilly, early spring air. Mitsuri pulled her through the doors of the club -- the Kizuki Moon Lounge -- and for the first time in a year and a half, she felt alive.

Beneath the strobe of multi-colored lights, amidst the pulsing bass of the techno-music threatening to rupture her eardrums, Y/N had found herself anew; no longer was she the sad, morose girl who barely existed. Under Mitsuri’s care, Y/N transformed into a raving princess, who owned the sticky floor of the Kizuki’s club each time she and her friend traipsed onto it in their too-high heels, wearing too-short dresses and clutching too-strong drinks in their greedy hands.

In April, Mitsuri introduced her to Shinobu, a wisp of a pharmacology student who was every bit as beautiful as she was terrifying, though Y/N could not exactly place why the petite girl could scare off any ill-intentioned man that tried to swagger over to them, given her ever-present, sugary-sweet smile.

She also met three girls – Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma – who were beautiful and fun-loving and rounded out the newly-formed friend group with their fire-and-ice personalities.

First, there was Hinatsuru – quieter, but still capable of throwing it back and having a grand old time, especially once her drink of choice (rum and Coke) had the opportunity to work its way through her blood. A pretty blush was always the telltale sign that Hina was ready to jump up on a table and captivate anyone who had the pleasure of watching her dance.

Next, there was Makio, brash and bold, but fiercely loyal. Some asshole had made the mistake of snapping the thong-like top of Mitsuri’s skirt once and found his head shoved down on the table, his arm pulled back in a self-defense maneuver as the dark-haired beauty threatened to wrench the man’s offending arm from its socket.

Finally, there was Suma, who often clung to the other two like a lost child, but once she gained her confidence, would flirt with absolutely anything and everything that moved, with a sultry giggle and a bat of her pretty eyes. Within only twenty minutes of knowing her, Suma had convinced Y/N to make out with her, the beautiful girl tasting like cotton candy and summertime as their tongues lazily danced together beneath the throb of the club lights.

With her new group of girlfriends, Y/N began to lose herself to the alluring beck and call of Ubayashiki’s local rave scene, her nights quickly becoming defined by sticky drinks and jeweled makeup, and the skimpy outfits Mitsuri always shoved her into. But she could not find it in her heart to care, because for once, her mind was on something else that didn’t involve the smell of pine, or lavender eyes, or the feeling of a home that no longer existed.

But even though the sour drinks made her feel so warm and vibrant while she danced, there were still moments when clarity hit and she missed them.

She missed the way Kyojuro’s strong arm would drape around her shoulders, heavy and warm, and how his embrace always felt like home, his deep laugh infectious.

She missed the way Sanemi would pretend to hug her unwillingly but would leave his hands lingering on her back or her waist once she moved to pull away, a small smirk tugging on the corners of his tantalizing mouth. She missed the smell of his cologne, woodsy and clean, as he would lean in close to her face to tease her until she blushed.

She missed them so much that the sharp sting of alcohol eventually stopped dulling the pulsing ache in the cavity where her heart once beat. No matter how many shots, no matter how many sticky acid drinks she tossed back, that gnawing in her chest would not cease.

Then, one night, Shinobu pressed a small, lilac pill into her hand, and everything changed.

Initially, Y/N was apprehensive, because the pill perfectly matched the hue of the eyes of the person she wanted to forget most. But Shinobu promised her that this pill she’d created in a lab for school – Wisteria – will have her feeling like a kid on Christmas, and that promise, coupled with a flutter of Shinobu’s pretty eyelashes made Y/N cave.

At first, she felt nothing, no impact beyond the slight buzz provided by the round of shots she’d done upon first arriving at the Kizuki. But then, as Mitsuri twirled her beneath the flashing lights of pink and yellow, Y/N’s world exploded with a vibrance she’d neither seen nor felt in nearly two years. Everything, all at once, became magical; effervescent; infinite.

The Wisteria seeped into her veins and made her feel like Christmas lights had been implanted under her skin. Y/N felt shiny and beautiful and sparkly under the combined effect of Shinobu’s magical concoction and the balancing burn of her tequila, and with her new group of girlfriends flanking her side as they bumped to and ground against one another to the beat of the music, Y/N felt almost like she did when it was just her and her boys. Only now, Y/N felt even better, because, with her girls, she could ignore the way the black in her heart was slowly beginning to fester, even if that meant Y/N was beginning to feel more and more numb with each passing rendezvous at the club.

Because that numbness meant that at least she couldn’t feel the acrid bite of her unrequited love for him, and that was what she wanted all along, right?

—————————————————————————

(May)

Of course, Y/N should’ve known she couldn’t stay light and resplendent and numb in her neon and black light paradise forever. Because unfortunately, despite the large student body at Ubaya-U, her new friend group just has to intermingle with them.

Really, it was all Shinobu’s fault. Towards the end of the semester, Shinobu began dating a quiet, withdrawn boy named Giyuu, who happened to be good friends with the man that Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma all have a thing for – Tengen.

Tengen was a recent graduate of Ubaya-U, and an even more recent hire at the local police department, his imposing size and discerning ears a coveted asset amongst the group of detectives who’d scouted him out. Having someone affiliated with the local police be part of their group ended up being a huge advantage to them, however, given the general inclination for people to look the other way whenever Shinobu began dealing her Wisteria in the secluded corners of the Kizuki’s lounge.

What was not an advantage, however, were Tengen’s friends, because Tengen, apparently, had become best fucking friends with Kyojuro, and by default, him.

Y/N stood awkwardly between Mitsuri and Shinobu as the latter presented her group of girlfriends to the new, rag-tag medley of boys that now included the very two Y/N had gone to great lengths to avoid. She tried to ignore the burning weight of both boys’ stares as Y/N finally introduced herself to Shinobu’s new boy toy. Only when she could not possibly avoid them any longer, not without raising questions, did Y/N finally allow herself to turn to them.

“Y/N!” Kyojuro looked so surprised to see her and yet, so overjoyed that it didn’t feel fair.

Y/N could tell by the jerky way the blonde’s arms twitched towards her that he’d been about to envelop her in one of his signature bear hugs, but he’d hesitated, apparently uncertain whether he was still permitted to do so.

Ultimately, Kyojuro’s elation at seeing her once again won over his doubt, and he pulled her in tightly against his chest, his arms squeezing her with a security she hadn’t realized she’d been missing. For the briefest moment, Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as she allowed herself to thaw, ever so slightly, in the fierce warmth of her friend’s embrace.

It was a mistake; the moment she’d allowed herself to relax, she’d felt the damning prickle of tears behind her eyelids, and an uncomfortable lump had begun to take form in her throat. So with more reluctance than Y/N wanted to acknowledge she felt, she stepped away from Kyojuro, hoping that the dim lights of the club concealed the mist clouding her eyes.

Unfortunately, the end of Y/N’s reunion with her former, fiery friend meant there were no more obstacles, no more distractions, between her and the white-haired, scar-speckled man who gazed at her with an intensity that, to her annoyance, still made her want to squirm.

And as his eyes bore into her, she chanted over and over in her mind for him not to say it, to not let her name fall from his lips, because she could not bear to hear it. It would’ve been easier, so much easier, if he simply pretended like she didn’t exist, because then she could go on pretending like she wasn’t walking around without a heart; like he hadn’t been carrying it with him even all these months later.

His eyes did not match the smirk he had as he said her name, but it still took everything Y/N had not to fold right there.

But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let him know that he still held any power over her, and so she merely raised an eyebrow at him and smirked back, challenging him.

“Sanemi.”

—————————————————————————

“’Sanemi’ is your name when I’m mad at you,” Y/N warned him, tapping his knuckles with the spoon she used to stir the cake batter. “Otherwise, you’re just ‘Nemi.’”

Sanemi smirked at her, sticking his finger back into the bowl to swipe another glob of cake batter as Y/N mixed Kyojuro’s birthday cake together. “And what about when I’m being annoying?”

Y/N flicked a bit of batter at him, nailing him perfectly on his nose with the chocolate mixture. “Asshole seems the most appropriate.” She squatted down to pull a baking pan out from below her mother’s stove. “Did you remember to get the candles?”

The grocery bag crinkled as her white-haired best friend shook it, the box of candles within jostling. “Sixty-one candles for the sixty-one-year-old man,” Sanemi said proudly.

“Haha,” Y/N mocked, though she swiped the bag from his hand to check to ensure he’d actually bought sixteen and not, as he claimed, sixty-one candles. “I’m impressed. It seems you are capable of following directions.”

Sanemi leaned across the counter and peered up into her face, that damn smirk of his widening as he saw the faint blush creep across her cheeks. “I always follow your directions, Y/N.” He said lowly, raising a finger to wipe a speck of cake batter from her cheek.

“Hardly,” Y/N scoffed, using the need to get Kyojuro’s cake in the oven as an excuse to turn away from him and hide her warming face. “I think you prefer malicious compliance.”

“You wound me!” Sanemi protested, splaying across her mother’s counter in mock-injury. “When have I ever not followed your instructions with a smile on my face?”

Y/N turned back to him with a teasing grin. “’Nemi, since when do you ever smile?”

—————————————————————————

Shinobu’s eyes flickered back and forth between them, a smile forming on her face even as Mitsuri tugged pleadingly at her hand. “Do you two know each other?”

Sanemi said “yes” at the same time Y/N said “no,” and the former’s head snapped to Y/N’s face, who fought to keep her features neutral and cool. “Not anymore, anyways.” She clarified though she refused to acknowledge the way Sanemi flinched in response.

Shinobu looked between them again, her smile fading to something more pensive. Kyojuro only continued to watch Y/N, his expression sad and so very out of place in this castle of infinite pleasure and fun, and Y/N found herself desperate to escape it – to escape them.

Suma, the gods’ gift to the universe, interrupted the tense moment with her arrival, and she produced a small baggie of those lilac pills that promised Y/N’s escape. Y/N could feel both Kyojuro and Sanemi gawking at her as Suma pulled her in close, the little lilac pill already dissolving on her tongue, and kissed her, as they’d done so many times before.

When the raven-haired girl pulled away with a giggle on her lips, Y/N looked back to her former friends and held her tongue out, Suma’s pill now almost completely dissolved in her mouth, and she winked at them. Let them realize that their Y/N was long-gone, buried alongside the mother whose death they refused to acknowledge.

Suma offered the newcomers a pill each, and Y/N was surprised that both accepted. Kyojuro hesitated more than the ivory-haired man next to him, who held Y/N’s eyes as he placed the little tablet on his own wicked tongue, an answer to her earlier challenge. Y/N grimaced at the idea that Sanemi was willing to play along in this little game, willing to impose upon her paradise if it meant torturing her a little more.

So Y/N tossed her hair over her shoulders and turned her back to him, letting Suma and then Makio, tug her back into the crush of people on the dance floor to twirl and grind to the music, as both boys stared after her and she let herself be lost to them once more.

—————————————————————————

He found her the following Friday, as she waited against the bar for her drink.

“And where have you been hidin’ all this time?” Y/N fought the shiver that threatened to lick up her spine at the sound of that cursed, gravelly voice that had always made her weak at the knees.

But Y/N hadn’t spent the last twenty months learning how to keep off of Sanemi Shinazugawa’s radar for nothing, hadn’t learned to keep her grief and rage and pain locked deep inside the empty cavern of her chest, just to crumble under the intensity of that lilac stare.

Y/N threw her head back to swallow the shot of tequila the bartender had placed in front of her before turning to face him. Sanemi looked every bit the simpering, cocky asshole she’d always known him to be, leaning up against the sticky wood of the bar, one fist resting idly under his cheek as he watched her.

She met his gaze evenly, shoulders loose with a relaxedness that she didn’t feel. “I’ve been right here,” she replied smoothly.

Sanemi shook his head, clicking his tongue disapprovingly at her. “Nah, you haven’t,” he downed his own shot of vodka before returning his eyes to her, looking her over in consideration. “Though, I guess it would’ve been hard to know it was you anyways.”

Y/N bristled at the comment but kept her voice light. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Sanemi watched her carefully for a moment, though his eyebrows furrowed, as though he was struggling to choose his words. “I just wouldn’t have expected to see you in a place like this.” He decided, after a moment, a frown tugging at the corners of his sinful mouth.

It was Y/N’s turn to smirk. “That would assume you knew me at all to begin with,” she challenged, motioning to the bartender for another shot.

Something tightened in Sanemi’s eyes as he held her gaze, and it clenched the knot of unease that had balled in her stomach. “I did, once.”

Y/N kept her face impassive. “Maybe, as a girl.” She accepted her second shot from the bartender and brought it to her lips, biting down on a wince as the sharp burn of the cheap liquid slid down her throat. “But not as a woman.”

Though she did not show it, his words struck a wound deep within her that she’d not realized still festered; because, as hard as she tried to pretend that the man beside her was a mere stranger, his words reminded her of the harsh truth.

She was still in love with him; had been, ever since she’d learned what love meant.

A shadow flashed across his face before disappearing, that insufferable smirk sliding onto his face once more. “I guess you’re right; a girl doesn’t wear a dress like that.” Sanemi purred.

Y/N fluttered her eyelashes at him, a foreign boldness taking over her mind even as the echo of her heart begged her to flee. “Do you like what you see, Sanemi?”

Her former friend’s answering grin was wolfish. “I’ve always liked what I’ve seen of you, Y/N,” he grabbed her last shot from her hand, ignoring the protest in her eyes as he tipped the tequila back easily down his throat. “You just always seem to disappear before I have a chance to properly appreciate you.”

Y/N knew she should run away from him, and fast, but her hand betrayed her as it reached up to brush a bit of confetti from his hair that lingered from earlier. She nearly hummed in satisfaction at the way Sanemi’s breath hitched in his throat as she drew close, her fingers just barely grazing the skin of his forehead.

“Guess you’ll have to catch me.” Was her only response, before Y/N departed for the dance floor and her friends once more.

Sanemi’s eyes remained locked on her the entire night.

————————————————————————

The days blurred into weeks, as Y/N and Sanemi’s new relationship took form.

The convergence of their friend groups was inevitable, though Y/N resented it; but now, they all went out as a unit, rather than as two separate groups which just so happened to run into one another, and it annoyed Y/N to no end.

More annoying was the fact that Sanemi seemed as willing to partake in the sacred ritual of taking Shinobu’s precious Wisteria with them, though he seemed to do it less out of a desire to feel like the flashing strobe lights of the club and more so because he wanted to get on Y/N’s nerves.

“Drugs are bad for your health, y’know,” that damnable gravelly voice snapped her attention away from the Wisteria that sat in Shinobu’s palm.

Sanemi’s shoulder bumped into hers as he came to stand beside her in a darkened corner of the Kizuki’s seating lounge, out of sight from prying eyes as Shinobu dispersed her latest batch of tiny purple pills, a smirk on his lips and a challenge in his eyes.

Y/N scoffed, reaching to take the small offering from her friend’s hand. “And so is that vodka you keep slugging back.” Y/N’s fingers were about to close around the Wisteria when Sanemi plucked it from the dark-haired girl’s hand, a cry of indignation squeaking past Y/N’s lips.

Sanemi held the pill teasingly in front of her mouth as Y/N glowered up at him. “Open up,” he ordered, pinching her key to paradise between his thumb and index finger.

Eyes locked with his, Y/N slowly let her lips part and held out her tongue. Sanemi leaned forward, taking her jaw in his free hand as he placed the small tablet on her tongue with the other.

“Good girl,” he murmured, eyes lowering to her mouth as he watched her, hungrily.

As she accepted the Wisteria from him, Y/N let her tongue flick out and graze against his skin, dragging it lightly up the calloused edge of his index finger before she closed her mouth, letting the tablet dissolve on her tongue. Sanemi exhaled harshly through his nose, his hand gripping her chin possessively as he stared down at her mouth, and Y/N thought for a moment that he was about to give in right there and kiss her.

At the last moment, Kyojuro clapped him on the shoulder as he returned from the bar, and the spell was broken. Y/N blushed slightly as she turned back to Shinobu who made no secret of her raised eyebrow at the exchange between the two former friends.

Later, as she broke away from her friends dancing on the floor, she’d noticed Sanemi for once, was not looking at her, but at the hand he’d used to slip her the Wisteria, an unreadable heat in his eyes.

————————————————————————-

Sanemi liked to watch her while she danced.

At first, it had been unsettling to feel a pair of eyes boring into her back as she bumped and ground against Mitsuri or Suma, head tossed back as she let Shinobu’s pills work their magic, but she’d grown accustomed to it. Now, she craved the knowledge that he was thoroughly transfixed by her, because that meant at the very least, she was filling his thoughts while they were out almost as much as he filled hers every moment of the day, despite her efforts to numb him out of her life.

She’d confided her secret joy in Mitsuri, who’d conspiratorially promised her they would do anything and everything to drive the lilac-eyed man wild with desperation so that he might feel an ounce of the pining he’d shackled Y/N to feeling every time he so much as looked her way.

One night, a gaggle of them had gathered over in one of the Kizuki’s seated lounge areas as Shinobu pressed her Wisteria into their greedy, waiting palms. Sanemi’s eyes were locked on Y/N, as they usually were, as she’d exchanged a knowing glance with her pink-haired best friend and placed her pill beneath the heavy glass of her discarded drink and ground the violet pill into magic dust.

Eyes on Sanemi, Y/N delicately cupped the powder in one hand and brought her free fingers to the low bodice of her corseted top, tugging lightly on the strings to loosen it, inching it down lower to reveal the tops of the twin swells of her breasts, though stopping before she could be accused of exposing herself in public. She then turned her attention back to Mitsuri, her pink-and-green friend watching her with a sugary deviousness that made her stomach bubble with excitement.

Wordlessly, Y/N leaned back on the table, to the cheers and cat-calls of her friends, and she sprinkled some of the violet dust along the exposed top of her cleavage. Mitsuri leaned over her body, all vanilla perfume and pink hair tickling Y/N’s delicate skin as her friend held one nostril closed and inhaled every speck of the amethyst powder with the other. Y/N’s eyes rolled back into her head, and she let out a wanton moan beneath the black lights of the Kizuki, as her best friend kissed her collarbone in thanks.

Sanemi had gruffly excused himself for the bathroom and did not return for another five minutes. In his absence, Mitsuri had slyly let Y/N know that his eyes hadn’t once left her face throughout the entire vulgar exchange, much to her secret delight.

Y/N knew she was dancing closer and closer to the fire.

She knew that Sanemi wasn’t far from snapping, from losing whatever restraint he thought he had when it came to her, as she deliberately pressed each one of his buttons every time their group ventured out.

The next time he came close to breaking was when he saw another put his hands on her.

A hand gripped her ass, and Y/N turned and saw a man with long white hair and odd-colored eyes give her a wink. He was attractive, that was certain, but there was something predatory in his eyes that made her feel gross, so she moved closer to her circle of friends, keeping an eye over her shoulder.

Eventually, the strange man wandered off, and Y/N felt as though she could relax once more as she swung her hips to the beat thumping over the stereo strongly enough to make the dance floor vibrate. Shinobu held out a hand that Y/N eagerly grabbed, her friend twirling her as she laughed, carefree and alive beneath the resplendent rainbow of lights.

The song slowed to something more sensual, and Y/N was about to take her cue and move toward the bar when a hand grazed her upper arm.

Though it had been nearly two years since she’d last felt his touch, Y/N knew only one person capable of bestowing such a warm and gentle caress, even in spite of his hardened appearance.

Sanemi, to her eternal surprise, had made an appearance on the dance floor – his first if she remembered correctly.

His eyebrow was raised in question at her, and Y/N couldn’t help but appreciate he was asking permission to dance with her, rather than just sidling up and grinding on her like any other man would.

Sanemi looked so god damn handsome in that printed short-sleeve shirt. His sleeves had been cuffed to further show off his considerable biceps, and he’d left the top three buttons open, revealing his scarred but downright divinely toned chest. As he leaned in slightly, waiting for her permission, Y/N caught a whiff of his cologne, and it smelled like home.

Fuck it, she thought, her lips curving up into a siren’s smile as he stepped closer to her, bringing one large hand up to hold her waist as they began rocking to the beat of the music. Their foreheads were nearly touching as their bodies pressed closer and closer together, Y/N’s hips completely flush against his as they danced. Their noses brushed, and Y/N realized how dangerously close their lips had come.

Sanemi brought his other hand up to press against the small of her back, the one on her waist tightening slightly. Y/N looped one arm around his neck, her other hand coming to rest against his chest as they ground, Sanemi setting the pace perfectly in time with the beat.

Through her eyelashes, Y/N could see Sanemi’s amethyst gaze drop to her lips.

She knew she should pull away; she knew if she let him close the distance between their lips, she would also be closing the distance she’d spent so much time carefully crafting between her, and him, and even Kyojuro.

But Y/N also knew she couldn’t pull away, either; she’d waited, for so damn long, to know what his lips would feel like, and she was drunk and a little high, so the inhibitions that would normally have sent her running had long since been overshadowed by her unbounded want for him.

She felt his breath against her lips, and she closed her eyes.

Before she could finally achieve her lifelong dream of kissing Sanemi Shinazugawa, the music changed from the slow, sensual beat that they had been grinding to, to something louder, faster, and more exciting.

A scream grew louder as Mitsuri returned from heaving her guts up in the bathroom, and grabbed Y/N’s wrist, wrenching her from Sanemi’s grip and hauling her deeper into the dance floor to rave alongside her.

By the time Y/N was able to emerge from the surging crush of people dancing and raving, Sanemi was already back at the bar, leaning against it with his beer in hand, watching her.

She’d half expected him to look angry, but he only raised his drink at her, in toast.

The smirk that tugged on the corners of his mouth was full of promise.

—————————————————————————

Y/N supposed it was inevitable that this game of cat-and-mouse they’d been playing would end, and end like this.

She’d known where the night was heading the moment she showed up at the club in Mitsuri’s emerald green dress – the one she’d worn her very first time there in that strobe light palace – and saw his eyes darken from lilac to eggplant. Y/N felt the blazing heat of his stare in her bones even as she danced with her girls, could feel his magnetic pull as he watched her like a predator eyeing its next meal.

The more sober part of her was nervous, knew that she was about to cross a line she couldn’t walk back from. She knew that what was about to happen – giving her first time to Sanemi – would do nothing but exacerbate the poisonous love in her heart, but that part of her was so small, so feeble against the fire she felt in her blood as she approached the bar where he stood.

She pretended not to notice that he watched every move she made as she leaned over the ledge to order another shot. Only after the bartender placed the little glass in front of her, only after she tipped her head back and let the acid liquid slide down her throat, did she turn to meet his punishing gaze.

“You really should try joining in on the fun, Sanemi,” she kept her voice at a normal volume, forcing him to lean in slightly to hear her over the pulsing beat of the club music. She resisted the urge to close her eyes as the familiar whiff of his cologne hit her nose, the smell of a home and of a time before he ripped her heart out and stomped it to dust.

Sanemi smirked, and her stomach dipped at just how beautiful he looked, standing there below the pulsing glow of the lights. “I’m havin’ fun watching from here.” His lips were close enough to her ear that she shivered, gooseflesh erupting over her bare arms.

She wouldn’t let him know how much he still got to her, but she also couldn’t resist teasing him a little further, curious to see how far she could push him until he broke. She lifted her hand to pat the part of his chest he’d left exposed, his skin burning under her touch, as she made to pass him.

Sanemi snapped.

He grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and tugged her closer to him, knocking Y/N’s breath from her as he whirled her around and pressed her up against the dirty club wall to kiss her like she’d never been kissed before. He pinned the hand she’d had on his chest against the wall, over her head, while the other burned its imprint onto her waist. His kiss was demanding and hard, but Y/N was addicted to him. She brought her free hand to his neck, digging her nails in slightly to the sensitive skin to elicit a growl from him as he nipped her bottom lip.

Sanemi released the arm he’d pinned to the greasy club wall to hold the side of her face, tilting her head to he could deepen their kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth to dance with her own. Y/N couldn’t control her body as she pressed into him, desperate to feel him against her, to feel him fill every empty part of her until she felt whole again. She knew she was dooming herself further, knew she was only setting herself up to fall harder than she already had, but she couldn’t stop because it was Sanemi, and she loved him.

She felt his growing hardness against her thigh, and she couldn’t stop her hips from grinding against him, heat pooling in her belly. Sanemi moaned into her mouth as her hips undulated against his, and Y/N felt herself go molten at the sound. She wanted to make him do it again and again, but Sanemi tore his mouth from hers before she could.

His chest was heaving, and his eyes were wild and dark as he looked at her. His eyes fell on her reddened, kiss-swollen mouth, and even in the dim light of the club, Y/N could see his pupils explode. He grabbed her hand, and suddenly he was tugging her through the crowded dance floor, through the groups of people near the exit, until they were outside, the night air cool on their overheated skin.

Together, they stumbled down dark, empty streets, though Y/N could not find it in herself to feel afraid, because Sanemi was there, and while he may not have cared about her enough to love her, he was still a gentleman who wouldn’t let her be hurt by anyone but him. They walked as she laughed because he kept stopping and pulling on her hand to kiss her again and again, as though he too, could not get enough of her.

Y/N didn’t know where they were going, but eventually, they arrived at an apartment complex, and it dawned on her that he’d brought her to his home. His lips were on hers the whole walk to his door, never breaking even as he fumbled for his keys. Sanemi finally unlocked the door and pushed her inside his dark apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.

Sanemi’s hands shot for her waist as he crushed her against him, his tongue licking the roof of her mouth. Y/N was sweaty and slightly sticky from the club, but the way Sanemi held her to him made her feel so god damn pretty like he’d been set adrift in a starless sea and she was his only lifeline. Sanemi’s hands moved from her waist to cup her ass, kneading her flesh as he moaned into her mouth again. His hands slid lower, grabbing her thighs to lift her up so her legs could wrap around his waist.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she murmurs, her head tilted back as Sanemi’s lips laid claim to her neck, his hips pressing her harshly against the entryway wall of his apartment.

The snow-haired man groaned, his hands fondling the soft curve of her ass beneath her dress. “Then tell me to stop,” he whispered, his breath hot as his tongue teasingly traced across her collarbone.

Y/N whimpered as she tightened her legs around his hips, locking him closer to her. If he stopped then, she thought she would fall completely apart.

“Tch, just as I thought,” his teeth nipped harshly against her throat as Sanemi pulled back to look into her eyes. “You can’t.”

Sanemi set her down, but he did not pull away, instead kneeling before her to run his large, warm hands up the length of her calves before bringing them around to the back of her knees. He tapped each leg one at a time, signaling her to lift it slightly. With a jolt, Y/N was completely suspended in the air with both legs over his shoulders, as he buried his face into her cunt.

He did not even bother removing the flimsy, lacy thong she’d worn under her dress, choosing instead to bypass it entirely as his tongue dragged right up her slit. Y/N’s head smacked into the wall behind her as she moaned, and she couldn’t tell whether it was the Wisteria or Sanemi that had her seeing fractals of light behind her eyes. She found that she didn’t much care either way, however, because what Sanemi was doing to her felt fucking incredible.

Her fingers fisted in his hair as Sanemi fucked her with his tongue, his teeth grazing across her clit in time with his thrusts into her. He was groaning lewdly as he feasted upon her, eyes lifting every so often to meet hers, to ensure she was enjoying it as much as he was.

“I knew you’d taste fucking sweet,” he muttered as he broke for air, fingers digging firmly into her ass as he hauled her back onto his mouth. His tongue darted in and out of her folds, lapping up every drop of her essence that he coaxed out of her, before he dove right back into her entrance, forcing her to ride his tongue as she writhed above him. Y/N desperately sought to grab onto anything for purchase, so that she could grind harder against his face, but Sanemi had her pinned in the middle of the wall, rendering her helpless to let him tear her first orgasm from her, followed by another, and then another, never once lifting his mouth off her tender core.

Eventually, Sanemi decided he’d had enough, and he moved to carry her to his bedroom. Just after he tossed her onto his plush mattress, there was a moment before he pounced on her when Y/N could really look at him. The only source of light was from the full moon outside, casting everything in Sanemi’s bedroom in its silvery glow. The moonlight illuminated the soft platinum of his hair, made his lavender irises melt into precious gems of amethyst as he raked his eyes over her panting, blushing form. His gaze darkened at the sight of her dress strap, hanging off her shoulder, before dropping to the hem that has ridden up her legs.

Y/N barely had time to take another breath before he was on her again, almost ripping the fabric from her in his haste to get it off, to expose her.

“This fucking dress,” he growled in her ear, finally tugging the zipper all the way down and shoving it down her legs, chucking the flimsy material behind him.

She was almost bare to him, but he was still clothed, far too clothed. Y/N sat up and ripped his shirt, the buttons popping all over the bed while he smirked down at her. She couldn’t find it in herself to be embarrassed, however, because then his skin was touching hers, and it felt like heaven even if Y/N knew she was only descending deeper into hell.

Sanemi graced her lips with one more bruising kiss before beginning his descent down her body, and Y/N felt electrified under his touch.

His hot mouth first came to her bare breasts. “Fuck,” he whispered as he let his tongue trace the first of her mounds, swirling around her hardened nipple before letting his teeth nip gently at her. Y/N squirmed under his ministrations, the sensation foreign to her and yet somehow, it felt wholly right, that the first person to explore her body this way would be him.

Not that she would tell him, of course; she didn’t want him to hold back, she needed him to fuck her as though there was no tomorrow. If he knew it was her first time, he would slow, or perhaps insist on stopping altogether, given that they were both high, and she couldn’t have that.

Sanemi pressed his hips down against hers, pinning her against the mattress and stilling her movements as he took his time lavishing her breasts, covering her in small marks that he soothes with sweet kisses that were enough to get her utterly drunk on him. Y/N let out a high-pitched whine as she felt Sanemi grind against the mattress as he sucked on her other breast, his abdomen pressing deliciously against her aching cunt still covered by the lace of her thong, as she desperately swiveled her hips, eager for him to relieve her once more.

Her desperation spurred his movement, as he detached himself from her breast with a low groan, resuming his descent down her body, pausing only to suck and nip at her stomach, before settling between her legs once more. Sanemi’s lips met the band of her thong and he growled, deep and guttural as he pressed his nose against her, inhaling deeply and letting his tongue flick out once more to lap at her wetness over the rough lace obscuring her from view.

Y/N was nearly sobbing from overstimulation, Sanemi having already ensured she’d finished on his tongue three times in the hallway. Now, she needed him to fill her, and quick, or else she thought she would combust.

“Sanemi,” she whined, and his eyes flicked back up to hers, dark with want. “Please, I need you.”

Her words had an instantaneous effect on the heaving man between her legs, because suddenly his body was covering her own, his weight pressing down on her, and his pants were gone, and he was slamming into her with a force that left her screaming and writhing against his soft sheets.

“Shit!” Sanemi snarled in her ear as his cock plunged into her dripping heat, so tight and so unaccustomed to the thick length now bullying in and out of her with abandon. “You’re so – ah – fuckin’ perfect.”

Y/N was sobbing on his mattress, but not from any discomfort. The combination of Sanemi’s body mixing with the Wisteria had utterly blurred out any pain or unease she felt at the intrusion of his rigid length into her core, and instead, Y/N felt herself shatter into a million pieces, only to be fucked back together again by Sanemi, who kept one bruising hand on her hip while the other ensnared itself in her hair as he thrust wildly in and out of her.

But she was not close enough for him. The silver-haired god above her pulled her legs over his forearms and braced his hands on her inner thighs to spread her wide as he pounded into her, leaning down into her face to make her blush, just like he used to do. Only now, instead of teasing her, he was whispering filth that had her turning scarlet and begging for more.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he grunted, his hips snapping in and out of her with a ferocity that left her breathless. "You've no idea –”

The speed with which he drilled into her propelled them up his bed, but Sanemi moved an arm to come between her head and the wrought iron of his bedframe, protecting her.

“You’re a fucking dream,” he snarled, sitting back on his knees as he began to bounce her against his groin, her breasts jolting with every forceful snap of his hips.

“Sanemi,” Y/N moaned, her back arching off his luxurious sheets as her legs tightened around his hips. Under his breath, Sanemi swore.

“Again,” he croaked, the sticky pap pap of his hips slapping against hers filling his room with the sweet music of their dance. “Say it again.”

Y/N could hardly process his demand over the sensual drag of his cock in and out of her needy walls, Sanemi’s movements chasing every breath from her and replacing it with him, as though there were some parts of her that remained untainted by him.

“Again,” Sanemi insisted, his groin pressing against hers as he ground against her, his rough base swirling over her aching clit demandingly, causing her legs to spasm around his hips.

“S-Sanemi!” Y/N howled as he lifted himself from the mattress by his knees, taking her hips with him as he suspended her half in mid-air and pounded relentlessly into her, rendering her incapable of making any other sound that wasn’t a devotional to him.

Through bleary eyes, Y/N looked to see Sanemi’s own gaze fixed on the way her mouth was frozen in a perfect “o” as he pulled moan after sigh from her throat with his hips, his fingers digging into the plush of her ass as he bounced her up and down his aching member again and again. Y/N arched her back even more, allowing him to hit deeper within her and she felt an unfamiliar pressure begin to build in her stomach.

It was similar to what she felt out in Sanemi’s hallway, beneath his tongue, but this time was different. Every push and drag of his cock into her syrupy wetness had her feeling electric like the lights of the Kizuki club were being strung beneath her skin and plugged in, and she was slowly becoming a beacon of light for the man chasing his own release above her. Her eyes rolled back into her head as that coil wound tightly, Sanemi’s name falling from her mouth like a plea as she begged him to let her fall apart in his arms.

Above her, Sanemi fared no better, as his hips began to jerk and press into her without the steady rhythym he’d so carefully built, a cacophony of snarls and moans pouring from his mouth along with the filth he muttered against her skin as he sucked harshly at her neck.

Sanemi readjusted his stance above her, his thighs pressing hers down into the mattress, and Y/N lost control.

“N-Nemi!” Y/N gasped as the unfamiliar coil in her belly suddenly unwound. She was far too overcome by her pleasure to recognize she’d accidentally used her old, affectionate nickname for him as she reached her peak.

But the slip did not go unnoticed by the snow-haired man rutting into her from above, as the moment the nickname fell from her lips in her haze, Sanemi’s own release followed, his seed barreling into her hot and fast as a pleasured cry of her name tore from his throat.

Sanemi’s hips rolled into hers for what felt like hours as he poured every ounce of himself into her greedy, demanding core, Y/N taking every drip of his cum. It felt exquisite, to have the man she’d so desperately loved for so long be reduced to such a mess by her body, and Y/N savored the way his warmth filled her, as though it were possible of bestowing life back upon her even though it was he who’d chased it away to begin with.

He collapsed atop her, finally spent and satisfied, an arm winding around her waist as he sleepily pressed a kiss into the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Sanemi rolled to his back, pulling her with him, and locking her against his chest as though they were lovers. But the combination of the night’s activities with the dwindling effects of the Wisteria had exhausted him, and it was not long before his chest began rising and falling in a steady pattern of sleep.

Y/N giggled quietly to herself, marveling over the fact that her tolerance for Shinobu’s Wisteria was apparently much higher than his. Under the moonlight, she found her dress puddled in a corner of his room and shrugged it back on, gathering her heels in one hand and locating her bag with the other. She turned back and looked at the sleeping face of the man who still held her heart and smiled slightly, before closing his bedroom door gently and taking off into the summer night.

There was a new ache between her legs, no doubt the product of having her virginity taken in such an enthusiastic way by the man she’d left sleeping in his apartment, though he was none the wiser. Y/N felt oddly satisfied, as though she’d achieved some lifelong goal, as the summer air caressed her face. As she stumbled down the night-warmed pavement back to her apartment, Y/N laughed, her chest feeling light and empty for the first time in a long while.

Want more angst? Smut? Pain? Stick around for part two and see shit literally hit the fan.

Likes, reblogs, tags, and comments are always appreciated!!

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d34dxr0ses · 1 year

Text

|| Everlasting Ink ||

TattooArtist!Boyfriend!Xavier Thorpe x Fem!Reader -- Summary: You've always been Xavier's muse, inspiring and motivating his work, but right now he wants nothing more than for you to be his canvas for his most recent design. Warnings: MDNI/18+/Tattoo artist Xavier AU/Aged Up characters/Spice/Xavier giving reader a sternum tattoo/Kissing/Pet names (Angel;Babe;My love)/Pinch of Possessive!Xavier A/N: This is the first fic I'll be posting here, so I hope you guys like it! (Also this was written at 1am so apologies for any mistakes)^^

It had been 15 minutes since Xavier started looking at you, still cleaning and sterilizing his tattoo gun, and he has yet to look away. You were reading a book you had picked up from the library before you met up with your boyfriend in his art shed, that was hidden in the woods on Nevermore's campus. Though you were deeply invested in your book, you couldn't shake the feeling of his gaze, so you glanced up to meet his adoring eyes.

"What?" You laughed out, inspecting his face. He looked like a kid who was scared to ask his mom for some candy, but his eyes were much wider (lost in thought, clearly), and his cheeks slightly more red.

"I uh.." He cleared his throat and looked down at the cloth and tool in his hands, that he had been thoroughly wiping every inch for the past several minutes; before continuing "My love, and you can absolutely say no, but well- I finished a design that I've been working on, and I was hoping to tattoo it on you?" He placed his tattoo gun on the desk before quickly rummaging through all his papers before finding his sketch book.

You stood up from where you sat and approached his chair, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind as you stared at the drawing he flipped open too. You already knew you would probably have let him the moment he asked in such a sweet tone, but you were stunned by the piece. It was a fairly larger sternum tattoo, that would wrap around your chest and peak in between your boobs. The drawing had such intricate details, and little parts that made it appear that he had designed it just for you. Even the chest model he had drawn matched yours damn near perfectly.

"Xavier.. That's beautiful, I'd be honored to be you canvas." You said the last part in a fake, more proper sounding accent. His eyes lit up and his head snapped back so he was facing you. You could've swore that if he had a tail it would be wagging.

"Wait seriously? Like now? Can we do it now?" You could only imagine how long a piece like this would take, and it was already pretty late, but you had enough caffeinated drinks that you really didn't care, with the look he had stuck on his face you'd probably let him cover every inch of your body in his drawings, hiding your skin away in the ink.

That's where you sat now. Lying on your back, topless and staring at the drawing of your tattoo in his book. Your page. Sure, he had a lot of drawings of you, but this was different. It wasn't your face, your body, your hair. No, this was you. This was something that clearly showed that he took a great look into who you really were. Each line told its own story; then you noticed it, scattered throughout it was letters, unnoticeable unless you were specifically looking for it, letters that spelt out his name. A grin climbed onto your face, as closed the book, setting it on the desk closest to you. You looked down at the boy with long brown hair, who's bangs had now been tied back.

"Your name huh? Claiming me now?" Blood now rushed back to his face. It was a part of the design he had completely forgotten about. A part that he sketched out while thinking about you with his name stained onto your body, showing that you were truly his, and his alone.

"I forgot about that, babe I promise I wouldn't try to tattoo my name on you without perm-" but you cut him off. He was almost frantic, which was cute, but always led to him rambling on nervously for at least 10 minutes.

"I like it, its not like its in bold, neon ink, keep it. Please?" You added the please with a small whine for good measure, to make sure he wouldn't feel bad about it. He just nodded and started prepping you for the stencil.

This was your first tattoo, so you weren't exactly prepared for the cold liquid to be sprayed on your body, but when it was you couldn't help but flinch, which made your usually gentle boyfriend, push down slightly on your chest.

"Angel, I know you've never had this done, but for this I'm gonna need you to stay perfectly still once I get the gun out." His voice was stern and dry, a huge change in pace from the timid boy from a moment ago, but not an unwelcome one. You found it quite attractive the way he could switch back and forth like that. You just nodded, and went back to admiring him at work.

It had been several hours since he started the tattoo, it was decently painful, but at the same time felt really nice. You had finally adjusted to the way he was doing it, when he suddenly lifted the tool and stood up, readjusting himself. You thought he was just stretching after sitting uninterrupted for so long, but instead he moved onto the table where yo were, positioning his knees on either side of your hips, squeezing you gently to keep you in place. How flustered you were must've been clearly shown on your face because, still keeping the machine away from you, he leaned down and kissed you, you could feel his smirk in the kiss. He was loving this. You'd been watching him the entire time, not his work, but his face and body movement, and he knew it. He himself had a hard time keeping his eyes on his art. Your breasts were completely exposed to him, and he loved knowing that he was the only one allowed to see you like this.

He finally broke the kiss, giving you a moment to fix your breathing, and stop moving before returning to the tattoo.

It was nearing sunrise when the tattoo was done and yet you both still felt wide awake. He hadn't moved from his spot straddling your waist since he got there, ,but he did have to pin down your shoulder every so often when it tried to move on it's own. He was surprised that you didn't ask him to stop for a break at all. You were in a trance like state watching his every movement, but at the very least it kept you still. He brought his phone out and took a photo of "the tattoo" He told you, but you knew exactly why he was so precise with his angles.

#xavier thrope imagine #xavier thorpe #xavier x y/n #xavier x you #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe wednesday #wednesday fanfiction #xavier thorpe AU #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier x reader #percy hynes white #wednesday characters x reader #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe x fem!reader #percy hynes white x reader #minors dni

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berlingotesque · 3 months

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What are your ships for Batim? :D

VERY GOOD QUESTION- I know my answer should be rather straightforward but I feel I have to put some context to my answers since they may seem contradictory/paradoxical otherwise, so bear with me-

Sammy x Norman : Well. I think that one was pretty obvious, anyone who's seen more than 3 of my posts knows that I'd die for these two. They're just so PERFECT for each other, from their complementary personalities to the fact that their relationship allows us to delve deeper into batim's historical and social context. Sammy and Norman have one of the few relationships that develop the most during the game's lore : Norman originally complains vehemently about Sammy's frenetic behavior, only to end up lamenting to Buddy and Dot how 'Sammy isn't the same anymore'. What's interesting about this statement is that he says it in relation to Sammy's strange behavior : clearly, the two men have grown close enough for Norman to differentiate Sammy's extravagant habits from his ink-influenced behavior.

Furthermore, Sammy is a very gray character morally, a perfectionist who is extremely socially maladjusted (surely due to the fact that he's coded on the spectrum and autism wasn't properly diagnosed at the time), naturally ostracizing him. For his part, Norman comes from a rural background (which surely earns him the animosity of the people at the studio, given the historical context and the fact that he could very well be poc) and also seems ill at ease socially : to me, it's fascinating to see two characters excluded from their peers because of differences they can't change (being autistic or poc and gay) getting closer to each other, to the point where Sammy, who is deeply misanthropic, naturally compliments Norman by describing him as very bright. To me, Norman is the perfect partner for Sammy : ready to apprehend him as he is, since he's completely free of social conventions, without taking any shits from him.

I think Sammy and Norman can really get the best out of each other, during a historical period when being different was strongly proscribed. I think I'd have trouble enjoying Batim as much without their dynamic at its heart (considering how narratively rich it is) : Norman is Henry's confidant, Sammy is Joey's, both remain morally gray deuteragonists fundamentally opposed to the ink machine, while remaining fascinated by its powers. And who wouldn't love a good old enemies to lovers ending tragically with the unwitting murder of one by the other ? After all, Norman's main flaw is that he's too curious for his own good, and it was Sammy who inevitably led him to his doom..

Allison x Tom : what more can I add. She's everything. He's just Tom. I've always been drawn to characters/ships with a vibe completely opposite to the vibe of the work they originally came from, and the 'turning poison into positivity' energy that Tom and Allison bring to Batim has always fascinated me. In a world as tragic as their own, I find it touching to see these two find beauty in all the ugliness and manage to ask themselves 'what if we were happy after all ?' It's really striking and brings a narrative richness to the work, since they directly mirror what failed with Sammy and Susie : Allison is perfect, but that was never what was at stake in Tom's eyes. Tom was looking for humanity, not perfection, and he managed to go beyond the image of the muse to discover a friend, unlike Sammy with Susie. They're literally Romeo and Juliet but, well... Not dead.

Joey x Henry/Henry x Linda : oh boy. These three... Let me get it straight right away : Henry and Linda are perfect for each other. She's exactly what he needs to be happy : she's present, patient. There's no denying that he loves her immensely. But Joey... oh Joey is undoubtedly Henry's soul mate. The subtlety is that Joey can't bring him the stable happiness Linda can : Joey tugs at him, pushes him over the edge. He knows exactly what to do to push him beyond his own limits. The love Joey offers Henry is an uncomfortable but unconditional one, one that would allow Henry to go beyond what he thinks he's capable of achieving because no one knows Henry better than Joey ! And let's be honest, Batim only exists because Joey refuses to move on, to live his dream without Henry in it. He's stuck in unrequited love and refuses to learn to live with it. And that's the tragedy of this trio : Henry sincerely loves Linda but is truly himself with Joey, which prevents him from hating OR loving him (And Joey exploits this information by remaining extremely toxic and convincing himself that he can wear him down lmao). Henry is stuck with this dilemma : Existing peacefully with Linda or living painfully with Joey. And that's why I love the dynamic of this love triangle : because there are no solutions that will satisfy everyone.

Joey x Sammy : okay, don’t get me wrong : these two are HORRIBLE for each other. Does Sammy periodically want to quit just to piss Joey off? Yes. Isn't Joey's fascination with Sammy intimately tied to his refusal to forget Henry, who was a genius like Sammy? Yes. Nevertheless, it's impossible for me to read The Illusion of Living without feeling embarrassed and like I'm reading Joey's diary : whether you ship them or not, Joey is practically canonically smitten with Sammy. I sincerely don't think Joey and Sammy can sustain a healthy relationship with each other, but oh boy, surely that won't stop me from exploiting their bizarre obsessive love-hate relationship, where it's hard to determine whether they're going to throw hands or make out.

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factual-fantasy · 2 months

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28 ASKS! THANKS AGAIN YALL!! 🥰💥

I've thought about this a bit actually :00

Way back when the crew was only four people, (Seafoam, Octo, Ellie and Louis) they got caught in a great storm while out at sea. Becuase there was only four of them, they didn't have enough hands on deck to control the ship.

Blue Beauty saw this ship clearly struggling and in danger so she helped guide the ship back to calmer waters. It was her help alone that prevented the ship from sinking. Seafoam thanked her profusely. She hadn't been treated so kindly before.. So she secretly followed them around for a while before making herself more known and officially joining the crew. :}

XD I imagine that wouldn't fare well for Blue Beauty-

XD Foxy would be like "..Am I malfunctioning or are those cookie talking--"

Hmm.. I assume the textures all relate to the food/animal they're based on. Or maybe their personality..? <:0 I don't know!

OOO these are so good!! Thank you! :DD

XDD Its really tough for me ngl. I've never been the best with names-

@luna-purple454 (Post in question)

The Undyne one is a bit vague.. I pictured the group has a run in with an Undyne. She is able to maybe separate Papyrus from the group and even capture him. Maybe her Papyrus is dead or he's on the other side of the underground. For one reason or another she knows this is "not Papyrus". So she questions this imposter to his face.

..But Papyrus is silent. Its been so long since he's heard Undyne's voice.. he suddenly cant speak..

Now the Alphys is actually an older character in the AU. I mentioned that at some point early on the gang found an AU with an old Alphys. This Alphys had made a bunch of robotic arms for Monster Kid in all different sizes.

Well since MK is all grown up, some of the smaller arm models don't fit him anymore. So she gave some to Goner Kid! I didn't really have intentions for her to come back into the AU in any major way. I just felt like drawing her :)

Oooo that sounds cool!! :DD

ASKJANJ SALTY TENTACLES XDDD THATS AMAZING!

Also thank you so much!! :DD

XDD Well "actively", I don't tend to dip my toes in that fandom too much anymore. I've dealt with a surprising amount of uncomfy stuff there so I'd rather mostly stay away from it-

But I have drawn a decent amount for it none the less! And I'm glad you like what you see so far! <XDD

Oh boy, the Jevil gang wouldn't stay there then! <XDD

@astaherussy

I unfortunately still to this day have not watched the Mario movie. So I cannot answer the first part of that question :( I think I have a problem upstairs-

As for Peach or Daisy breaking down, I believe they would approach them the same way Luigi did Rosalina :00 Very gently and try to figure out what's wrong 🥺

@neo-metalscottic

Thank you!! :DD I'm glad you liked what you saw! And I'll keep Jevil and the gang in mind! :))

AND YESSSS THE CALICO JACK IDEA WAS SO GOOD!! Thank you so much!! :D

And once again- thank you for the compliments to my Toadsworth drawing! I was rather proud of that one! XD When it comes to his relationship with Peach,, that is a good question.. I was thinking it was an Alfred Pennyworth situation. Kind'a a royal advisor turned father figure situation.? :0 He was running the Kingdom while Peach was gone, and he was overjoyed to see her returned safe and sound!

(Post in question)

XD Just wait till you find my Super mario bros tag and all the comics and angst under it

(Also thank you!! :}}} )

@rotting-glitter-corpse (Link in ask)

I NEED!! TO LIVE THERE!!! RIGHT NOW!! 💥💥

Oh man, he'd do everything he could. I'm not sure what kind of demands he would make to the rest of the group. But if there was something they could do to help he would absolutely demand they to it :0

@fawncr33k

<XD I don't know if Seafoam would want to have kids at his age- but its a good question. I'm not sure what a child between them would look like, considering that Blue is a mermaid- :0

@pinkbomb08 (Post in question)

My Welcome Home AU is kind'a all over the place becuase of some changes I'm making to Sally and Poppy.. <XD But I can talk a bit about Julie! She hasn't changed much--

The idea I have for Julie is that her and her sisters are actually these huge grotesque monsters.. much more horrific looking than they are in canon. Anytime anyone saw them they'd run away screaming.. Julie grew up knowing that she was scary and people are afraid of her becuase of her appearance..

Now at some point when she was little, she discovered the Neighborhood. She would see Wally, Barnaby, Poppy and Eddie walking around every now and again. She wasn't sure why.. but she was so fascinated by them and their lives. Something about the way they walked, the way the talked, how they dressed, how they sounded, how they looked. She loved all of it.

She was so fascinated by the Neighborhood and she dreamed of becoming apart of it one day. But she knew that she couldn't show up looking like.. this.. so she used the Neighbors as a reference and began to drastically alter her appearance.

No one has horns, so she was able to greatly shorten hers and make them look more.. cute! All the residents have 2 eyes so she shall as well! Poppy has pretty eyelashes.. so shall she! She cant get rid of her tail but she can make it shorter and cuter! Wally, Eddie and Barnaby all have 4 fingers. So she shall as well!

Now the feet.. She never saw Wally or Eddie without shoes on.. but Barnaby is always bare foot. So feet paws she shall have! A lot of her form was transfered to her mane-hair! To her hair- :DD

Now she was trying to get her legs to be shaped more like Wally's. So she altered them a bit and began to practice walking. But she tripped and fell, letting out a yelp!

Someone heard her, and came looking.. Since she couldn't use her new legs yet- she couldn't escape-

..Poppy found her. .

Julie hadn't completed her transformation from "monster" to "person" yet! So when Poppy saw her she thought she blew it. Surly Poppy would run away screaming upon seeing this horrible monster.. Julie started to cry.. but Poppy didn't run. She saw this poor little child covered in mud and with a scraped knee. She quickly jumped into action, "Oh dear! You poor thing, here sweetie let me help you up," Poppy guided Julie out of the woods. After she was cleaned and patched, they talked a bit about Julies situation.

"Where are your parents, dear?"

"..I don't have parents.."

Suddenly Poppy had adoption papers in her hand XD Huh, wonder how those got there-

(Post in question)

I mean... I got my skin back at least.. 🥺

thh... thank yoiuuuu!!! :33 ✨💖✨

I don't know.. is it offensive in the games for a character to be called a cracker? Are there cracker characters?? <:00

Oooo I'll keep this in mind! :00 Thank you!

@djadecutie

AKJJSD CRIMINAL XDDD

@storylover2

<XD Oh man, I looked through some doodle dumps and found I drew that creature at least 20 times. None of which looked the way I saw it in my head.��I gave up on drawing Chain Chomp a looong time ago.. 💔💔

(Thank you for the suggestion though! :000 )

I'm not sure <XD Google doesn't want to tell me what real seafoam tastes like. Its only showing me what the candy seafoam tastes like!

I cant really remember much of that movie,, so I'm not sure how they would interact with the residents there. But a world made of candy? I'm sure they'd feel right at home! XD

@beryl-shade

Oh yeah for sure :0 that could be what happened to Tuna! 😱

(Also sorry for not including the gifs! There wasn't a way I could paste them into this ask post :((( )

@yourstrulylightstar283

Aww! That's adorable! :D

#my response #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ocs #my ocs #super mario bros #welcome home #undertale #deltarune

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beebopboom · 4 months

Text

The Angel behind the Curtain

The Metatron. A character we don’t know a lot about in the show but has become public enemy number 1 - funny isn’t it.

I’ve been putting off doing this for a while because I wanted to dedicate proper time and research into this character - who he is, what he is doing, and how he is being used. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past week or so and boy is it long. So consider this an introduction post to a series - the main parts are still under construction and review.

But here is a shorter part that didn’t really fit anywhere cleanly and was kinda just a side tangent my brain went on - so now it’s its own part. I know some of it has been discussed before but have some new additions with a sneak peak into what is to come

and for that we are going back into the Title sequence - yes I know I talk about it way too much.

So Mr. Floating Head

Obviously this has been linked to the floating head of The Wizard of Oz before

But I want to dive in a little further now that we have more instances of this in season two

Now I’ll admit it’s been a while since I have revisited the story so there might be more parallels I missed but for now I just want to focus on the wizard - with some light parallels

We get the Metatron as a floating head up in heaven during the trial -which would have been before/during episode one - where he task the archangels with finding Gabriel - and he almost seems amused about it.

When Dorothy and the others first meet the Great Oz he will only grant their wishes upon the defeat of The Wicked Witch of the West. Once they return back after succeeding they demand the Great Oz to fulfill his promises but Toto knocks down the curtain to reveal that the Great Oz is just some man. He then uses “humbug” to grant their wishes - kinda. Dorothy though is meant to join him on a hot air balloon so they can both go home - which she misses because she was chasing Toto. But enough of that

After Gabriel is found - then fucks off - the Metatron arrives in the bookshop with most not recognizing him until he prompts Crowley to “reveal” him. He then sends the archangels away with a “wait and see” about if they had done anything wrong - kinda granting their wish with them not getting in trouble. He then goes on to offer the Supreme Archangel position to Aziraphale and says to join him in going up to Heaven.

The Metatron is admittedly a better wizard than Oz - he for the most part removes his own curtain and makes sure Aziraphale is coming with him.

But you said we were going into the title sequence and you have just rambled about some old story parallels? Okok I’m going

I've talked before (here) about how those rickety walkways represent Heaven's plans/timeline for their version of Armageddon- but for this we are going to focus on the one in the theatre

Curtains are drawn - screen is burned - the way to the Second Coming revealed

I'm comparing this moment to the Metatron finally appearing in a corporation in front of the angels and revealing his name - the curtain pulled back.

At the last second the film is burned - right before they enter the lift the Metatron finally drops the act a little and reveals the name, The Second Coming.

And now on to the sneak peak for one of the things I will be doing a deep dive into - The Book of Enoch

I know Neil has said the Metatron has always been an angel but can’t throw the whole book away when he himself pulls from it

When we go through the burnt screen we see these mountains of junk and it is revealed they are walking up one that has a throne room on top.

In Enoch 1 he is given an angel guided tour of the cosmos and sees seven glorious mountains - three to the east, three to the south, one that was taller than the rest and like the seat of a throne with trees encircling it, one of which is identified as the Tree of Life - which is said to be given back to humans after judgement

I’m sensing some parallels but for now that is it - tune in later for some more Enoch and diving into the occult

Part 2 is up!!

#did i just compare Crowley and Toto? yes yes I did #disaster puppy at it’s finest #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens theory #good omens metatron #the metatron #aziraphale #crowley

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ughgoaway · 5 months

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also omg?¿ you've probably seen the clips of matty completely breaking character upon seeing gabbriette in the front row (😭😭) like stop i literally cannot take how cute they are but....... its giving spotting teacher reader in the crowd and the way he just m e l t s entirely (the band teasing him after and even annie jumping in oh bye!!)

(he can't help but keep looking your way and the way he absolutely can't stop his smile from growing oh its so bad i fear...)

- (bff anon also needs to learn to stfu)

(THIS IS SO LATE I APOLOGISE BESTIE)

(its also not proofread so apologies for that too)

omg yes I literally must've watched those clips about 20 times over, every new angle that pops up I am LOOKING.

okay, okay, I'm imagining this is after you're already together and have been for a little bit. Obviously, you can't go on tour with him because you do have a job, and matty is MOPEY.

like he just won't stop waiting by the phone for you to text him. Anytime anyone's phone goes off, matty is jumping to his phone to check if it's you. Time difference makes it difficult, but you facetime and text as much as humanly possible.

even just little updates throughout the day, "the staff room had run out of tea bags. call the police." or "I know I shouldn't say this about a student, but ohmygod, timmy o'donnel might be the dumbest kid I've ever worked with. he'd 6, and he STILL spells his name with just one m. HOW!??!?"

sometimes, matty can't respond straight away (much to his disappointment), but when he gets back from sound check to see a text from you? my man is SWOONING. the boys all make fun of him for how giddy he gets, "dude you're like a teenage girl in a movie kicking her legs in bed and twirling the chord around her finger" "shut up"

It's not term time (do other countries call it that? like school time?? idk), so Annie is with Matty, but you're still in work on staff training days. the most boring days according to you

"I mean kids are hard work, but so is having to sit in a room with Mr. Smith for 5 hours as he tries to flirt with me" (needless to say, Matty is NOT a fan of Mr. Smith after this comment, but you assure him that no one could ever get you away from him, and you then tease him about the pink dusting on his cheeks when he hears that)

so one day, when Matty doesn't get a good morning text from you, his heart breaks a little, but he figured you had just woken up late and forgotten. but then lunch rolls around, and usually you Facetime and chat while you're on break, but still, radio silence.

he's worried, are you mad at him? Did he say something wrong? he messages asking if you're okay, but 5 minutes before he's due on stage, there's still no response. To say he's sad is an understatement. Everyone knows to give him a little space today because he is out of sorts.

but also, they know you're coming. you managed to convince your boss that you're sick (think mean girls "*cough cough" I'm sick") and sneak away to come to the Paris show. You had told the boys your plan, expecting some pushback or judgment. But, you got a unanimous "thank god" message because if they had to deal with matty missing you for one more day, they'd fly you out themselves.

you meet Mark outside, and he gets you in and has a spot at the front of the pit waiting for you. you are buzzing to see Matty, and you can't wait until he notices you in the crowd. You're wearing merch that you stole from his drawer, so you're hoping that will catch his eye.

matty gets on stage and distracts himself from thinking of you the whole show. The crowd is crazy tonight, and it's giving him the energy he needs. you're on Ross' side, and he clocks you immediately, waiting until Matty isn't looking when he waves at you sneakily.

the girls around you scream and swoon because who wouldn't when Ross waves at them? you giggle and wave back, but your eyes are immediately drawn back to Matty.

ever since that first concert, your eyes have been drawn to Matty, and seeing them live means so much more to you after that show. seeing it just brings you back to the night of your first kiss (working on this fic btw) and you feel giddy at the sight of him all smiley and dancey.

the good crowd and the sight of annie dancing around at the side of the stage keep matty pretty distracted, so for a good few songs, he doesn't notice you. but when he finally does? it's obviously to everyone in that room that he is looking at something he loves.

he is doing his usual stage antics but stops on the spot and does a double take when he sees you. you can hear the smile in his voice as he sings, but considering how wide it is on his face, you've sure the entire venue could see it anyway.

he finishes the song, doing his best to connect with the whole crowd, but he can not stop his eyes from drifting over to you. by the end of the song, he mouths to you, "I love you," whilst laughing in disbelief, and you just giggle and teasingly wave at him.

now does he call it out on stage??? perhaps... I think if he does he doesn't point you out or say your name he simply says, "I've just spotted by girlfriend in the audience, she's totally surprised me by being here so if the rest of the show is shit- you all know why"

I like to think the fans know matty has a gf but nothing else, no name or what you look like. because you're a non celeb, and he doesn't want you to have to deal with everything he does, and you don't mind either. any way you can stay out of the daily mail you're happy with

the show finishes, and it's not shit like matty said it's amazing as always. you get ushered off just before it ends to stand side stage waiting for matty.

you greet Annie when you get up there though, she's ecstatic to see you and asks whether you're staying, and you tell her you're there for the whole weekend and she shrieks and hugs you again and again. before the boys come off stage, someone comes and grabs Annie to wait in the green room. It's what's safest when there's so much commotion and movement.

she wanders off just as the boys come off stage, and you are immediately engulfed with just matty.

he hugs you, initially holding you tight and burrowing his face into your neck. He smells vaguely of sweat, wine, and cigs but somehow still smelt good.

he pulls back and hold you face between his hands, staring at you and flicking his eyes all over your face as if to confirm it's really you.

Once they hit your lips, he seems to remember he hasn't kissed you yet, so without a second thought, he pulls you in for a passionate kiss. you immediately moan at the contact, and matty uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. your hands rake through his sweaty curls.

a wolf whistle from Ross breaks you apart, and you immediately go red and hide in mattys shoulder, he's of course, unashamed and simply throws Ross a wink, which makes everyone around you burst out laughing.

about an hour later, you're all sat in the green room, and the teasing begins;

"mate you should've seen your face I thought you were about to faint"

"I don't think I've seen your eyes go that wide since Sarah Marshall flashed you her tits at your 18th" (George covers Annie's ears as he shares this anecdote, much to her annoyance)

"I'm surprised you remembered the lyrics after that. You forget them at the best of times"

"OKAY, OKAY, let's all calm down, enough of the teasing, please," matty begs

"You did look very funny though daddy" annie says with a giggle fiddling with ross' hair as she sits in his lap.

everyone laughed at Annie's comment and she lit right up, matty however groaned and burrowed his head into your chest, you teasingly said "there there, it's so hard being a simp I know baby" whilst petting his head.

the laughter continues, and he pulls back with a gasp, open-mouthed at your cheeky comment. but he soon settles back on the sofa and pulls you into his side, and before long, Annie comes running over and burrows herself in between the two of you.

both you and annie fall asleep on the sofa, and matty sneaks a picture before he wakes you up to go to the hotel.

it's his background for the next 6 months.

(also bff, never stfu I literally love you)

blurb masterlist here :)

#this has been in my drafts for a minute #oopsie #but yes simp matty supremacy.#he loves his girl... so what????#annie would so take the piss of him bc she loves how it makes her uncles giggle #sometimes they feed her lines #teacher au!#anon!#bff anon <33333

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topsyturvy-turtely · 1 year

Text

JOHNLOCK FIC REC/ MUST READ!!!

last year (2022, not that long ago) i read this absolute genius fic by @totallysilvergirl and it is long overdue to recommend this beauty out to my fellow johnlockers!

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl

Explicit, Words: 109.272, Chapters: 60/60

Additional Tags (selection): Angst with a Happy Ending, Sherlock's Italian adventure, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, mutual misunderstandings, finally they talk about the Fall, First Time, First Kiss, can requited love last?, TFP never happened, Fanart, Multiple Pov, Seriously a REALLY happy Johnlock ending, Idiots in Love, Roberto Zanardi (OMC)

SUMMARY:

“Romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people—”

“—would complete you as a human being.”

After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.

---

it is an absolute masterpiece. it got everything: angst, fluff, deep talks, intimacy, communication, jealousy, art talk (yes hello i love that okay?), (love) letters, writer john, beautiful description of the surroundings, fanart... do i need to keep on?

it captured me from the first chapter, i cried, i laughed - i felt it all for my two favorite bois. it broke my heart into a million pieces only to pick them all up and put them back together and cover it with a fluffy & healing layer of magic. basically binge-read this. yes it is long, and i've honestly been hesitant to read it because of its length but let me tell you it is 100% worth it and in the end it was over in no time (too soon!)

you already read Drawn to Stars?

-> check out all the lovely sequels!

Winter Light by Silvergirl

Explicit, Words: 7.742 , Chapters: 21/21

SUMMARY:

This is a hermetic universe, which for a few minutes a day has only two inhabitants. They don't even need names.

They wouldn't want to live always in such isolation, but in the winter light, when time cracks open, there are always—only—two of them.

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winter fluff! i repeat! winter! fluff! my heart is happy remembering this :)

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Teach Your Children Well by Silvergirl

Explicit, Words: 12.662, Chapters: 4/4

Additional Tags (selection): Angst with a Happy Ending, mutual misunderstandings, Old unhappy far-off things will bite you in the butt, Established Relationship, can requited love last?, POV John, A grown-up wedding

SUMMARY:

John decides to send Rosie to the local school a year early. Sherlock assumes he doesn’t want her becoming solitary, hyper-intellectual, hyper-focused—in other words, like Sherlock. It doesn’t help that Rosie’s prospective teacher is a dead ringer for Nicole Kidman, and is making overtures to John by text. But both fathers are wide of the mark: well, there’s always something, right?

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silly bois being equally dumb but good at parenting/relationships in their very own way. Silver's version of Rosie is a kid you will admire for both: her intelligence and capability of love. (what can i say she is her fathers' daughter!)

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The Nearer Your Destination by Silvergirl

Explicit, Words: 18.949, Chapters:6/6

Additional Tags (selection): Established Relationship, Wedding, Honeymoon, POV Sherlock, can requited love last?, Parentlock, Jealousy, No plot beyond sex holiday and personal growth, and lots of talking

SUMMARY:

After a December wedding, Sherlock takes John to Venice for a February honeymoon. It's absolutely perfect, up until the moment he hears John growl, "What the hell is Zanardi doing here?"

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a wedding told as a memory, and a honeymoon in italy. who wants more? oh, and they TALK! their conversations always have at least one quote in them you could live by!

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The Ever Circling Years by Silvergirl

Mature, Words: 15.735, Chapters: 29/29

Additional Tags: Rotating POV, Mostly Fluff

SUMMARY:

Snippets from different Decembers in the Drawn to Stars universe. (They'll make sense on their own, though.) Each chapter ends with Miss Davis's prompt for the day.

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decembers from 2013 all the way to 2045 (not each but a bunch)! there is a lot of fluff, lots of Rosie content, and - as so often - very amazing fanart!

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dear @totallysilvergirl i love this universe with my whole heart. your writing style is beautiful, the plots amazing, the characters complex and lovable. thank you for writing this! you would have at least thrice as many kudos if ao3 let us give more, and girl do you deserve them!

*throws badly cut out paper hearts*

tagging some people so this gets spread around (ik lots of you probably already know this universe but... i can't think of a but)

@justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @7arantellgrrl @ssmeowl123 @so-youre-unattached-like-me @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @pansherlock @the-smol-bean-libby-blog @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @almosttinycowboy @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog

#johnlock fic recs #turtely's fic rec #drawn to stars #totallysivergirl #silvergirl #drawn to stars by @totallysilvergirl #and all the sequels #thanks for reblogging!#johnlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #sherlock holmes #sherlock x john #johnlock ao3 #long post #johnlock fanart #johnlock fic

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lostinhisworld · 8 months

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secret hideaway- JJ MAYBANK

warnings: nothing really. brief mentions of illness, divorce, heartbreak and rumours. written while very tired. jj being wrongly accused. she/her pronouns. based on a tiktok i saw of the left and right images. might make a part 2 if it’s wanted. unedited.

word count: 634

hope you enjoy x

Air twisted and turned, tugging at JJ's hair in all directions as he gazed ahead, fixated on the waves crashing against sharp rocks. Finally, he allowed himself to breathe.

It had been at least ten minutes now, stretching longer than usual as he sat on the broken side of the hill, hiding from the trouble he'd unwittingly caused.

Unlike his typical antics, today was a mistake, an accidental incident born from bad luck and unfortunate timing. JJ Maybank, notorious for finding himself in situations where he emerged as the 'villain,' now found fingers pointed at him when he was discovered near a recently vandalized store.

He knew it wasn't fair; he was entirely innocent this time. Yet, he understood the odds stacked against him. Hence, when the store's owner nodded in his direction, prompting the officers to look his way, JJ sprinted off, finding refuge in the concealed cave he now occupied.

His secret hideaway wasn't common knowledge among the Outer Banks residents, sparing him the anxiety of discovery. Only a few adventurous souls had stumbled upon it, marking their find on the left wall with over twenty initials carved or drawn.

JJ himself had stumbled upon the spot a few years ago, despite spending his entire life on the island. It was as accidental as most things in his life—discovered after one too many beers at a boneyard party and a case of drunken wandering.

He'd been returning whenever he needed solitude since, never revealing its location to another soul, not even his best friend.

So, when he felt a rock shift, his immediate thought was that he was about to plunge into the ocean's turbulent waters.

Y/n Y/l/n was a newcomer to town, the latest resident of the Cut. She had moved to her mother's childhood home upon hearing of her grandmother's illness.

It was challenging to let go of the life she'd built for herself in Charlestown, but she knew it was the right choice for both her mother and grandmother.

The initial weeks had been tough, witnessing the transformation of the older lady into a mere shell of her former self. To make matters worse, news of her arrival had spread quickly, with malicious rumors swirling around her.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when she found her only refuge in this new town, following a particularly tough day at school. She had been returning there whenever she needed a break from the sadness at home and the cruelty at school.

She had never encountered another soul there before, believing it to be her private sanctuary tucked away on the side of a large hill. However, at the sight of golden hair peeking from behind a boulder, her dreams were dashed, sinking into the ocean beside her now frozen body. "Oh, no," she whispered, taking a step back in the hope that the stranger hadn't noticed her intrusion.

"Hey to you, too," the boy chimed in, amusement in his voice as she cringed.

"I didn't expect anyone else to be here—there never is. I usually come here to be alone, but obviously, I can't do that now," she babbled, uncertain about what to say to the smiling stranger. "Oh, my God. You probably came here to be alone, too, and now I've interrupted. I'll just go."

JJ sat up straighter, his face momentarily falling. "Or you could stay? We could be alone, together," he said, his words slipping out without him realizing it.

"Alone, together?" she repeated, confusion etched on her face. She thought for a moment, considering whether sitting in a secluded space with an unknown person was wise. Still, with the memory of what she was trying to escape, she decided to take the risk. "Sure, if you're okay with it."

"Of course," he replied, a bit hastily, then cleared his throat and tried a different approach. "I mean, yeah, whatever."

Y/n chuckled as she continued her descent down the hillside, using the cave's walls for balance. She hadn't yet mastered the perfect way to enter the secret spot, often tumbling rather than walking.

"I'm Y/n, by the way," she offered, her eyes fixed on the ground to prevent falling.

"Yeah, I know," JJ responded, watching her gaze snap to his. "You're new in town, and word travels fast."

Her eyes returned to the ground as she took a seat on one of the rocks, her hands fidgeting in her lap. "Yeah, right. I guess you've heard all the stories, then?"

"I've heard a few," he answered easily, not sensing her sudden tension. "But I'm not big on gossip. I know how nasty rumors can be."

She looked over at him, searching for any signs of dishonesty but found only sincerity. "Well, I promise you I'm not on the run from the law, avoiding a baby-daddy, or escaping from a mental institution," she joked, a trace of sadness creeping through.

JJ furrowed his eyebrows. "Is that really what they're saying?" he wondered, receiving a shrug in response. "All I heard was that you got into a fight at your old school, and no one on the mainland wanted to take a chance with a flight risk. It's not much better, but damn, I didn't know they could be that creative."

She laughed, relaxing a bit. "Believe me, I was surprised too. One girl told me I got knocked up by my old principal."

"Wait, she said that to your face?"

"Yeah, she randomly sat next to me and told me without even looking at who she was talking to," Y/n said, rolling her eyes. "She totally freaked out when she realized."

The boy laughed genuinely, something he hadn't done in a while, as he looked into the girl's shy eyes. "I'm JJ," he said softly, his lips curving up as he extended his hand between them.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, JJ," she returned the gesture, her gentle hand wrapping around his rough skin. "Good to know not everyone thinks I'm some scandal."

"Hey, I never said that," he joked, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he held her hand. "Come with me."

"What?" Y/n sputtered as he pulled her to her feet, leading her out of their private hideaway. She didn't argue, prompted by the encouraging smile on his face and the subtle tug on her arm to keep up. She followed a few steps behind, her fingers interlocked with his.

She had known him for barely five minutes and was already chasing after him like a lost puppy. It wasn't a huge surprise to her, though.

She had always been a romantic at heart, a sucker for a good rom-com where the girl mysteriously meets her soulmate on a random afternoon.

When she was younger, lying in her pastel room, she had dreamt of the day her knight in shining armor would appear, saving her from the dragon and living happily ever after.

Regrettably, life hadn't unfolded as she had hoped. Heartbreak had found her the moment she tasted the sweetness of love. She had witnessed her parents' separation due to clashing opinions, seen her partner's joy slowly ebb away as days grew longer, and witnessed countless people walk away from her and her heart. Despite it all, it had never deterred her belief in "the one."

Y/n wholeheartedly believed that there was someone, somewhere, uniquely crafted for her, a person who would love her perfectly — she was simply waiting to cross paths with that special someone.

On the contrary, JJ was not a firm believer in love. His past experiences had soured his perception, leaving him disenchanted. He acknowledged that love existed in the world but believed it wasn't meant for him, at least not in a romantic sense.

As a result, he sought solace in meaningless hookups and unattached relationships, giving him control over his emotions and desires.

However, something had stirred within him as he watched her smile and heard her laughter. It was a sensation he had never experienced before.

And he was determined to decipher the meaning of that newfound feeling.

#netflix #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank

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6-zao-xing-9 · 4 months

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A Job Well Done

Akito x fem! reader

Summary: Your and Akito's son finally won his soccer game for the first time after lots of hard work and practice. Such an occasion deserves a celebration, right?

Form: oneshot

This writing contains..... Aged up! akito married to reader....

A/N: kid's quotes are in red. Um... Sorry for not posting at 10:00..... I was too busy playing Pikmin 4.... And unpacking....👀 its more of an akito x his son(platonically, obvi) than akito x reader so i tried adding some aki x reader fluff in the end/middle... Dont know how well i did... C/N means childs name not come near... C/N/N means child nickname not come near now... Child is supposed to be around 6-7..

Shinonome Akito:

Immediately after the game, we rush over to C/N to congratulate him.

“Good job out there, kiddo.”

I wrap an arm around his neck as I ruffl his hair, smiling widely as he returned the smile. The sound of happy laughter fills the atmosphere as the three of us head off to our favorite cafe right around the corner.

Minutes later, we arrive at said cafe. After finding a parking space, I exit the car and grab C/N before swooping him on my shoulders.

“Come on, let's go. This place makes the best pancakes.”

“Not true. I make the best pancakes.”

“Close. You make the 2nd best pancakes.”

“Lies.”

“No.”

After entering the decently sized cafe, we find ourselves seated by a table next to the window.

“You're proud of me for winning, right daddy?”

“'Course, C/N/N. Why?”

“Well, since I've been good, can I get a puppy?—”

“No. No way. Absolutely not.”

I immediately cut him off at the mention of me living in the same house as a canine.

“But.... But why not?”

“Because, I...”

“He's scared of dogs.”

“Sh-Shut up.”

I narrow my eyes at Y/N as she snickers, my attention then turned towards C/N as he speaks.

“Daddy is afraid of dogs? Why?”

“Because he got bitten by one once, then decided that all dogs in the world are bad.”

“I said shut up!”

“.... But.... But dogs are cute and fluffly and cuddly and.... And I want a dog!”

C/N speaks loudly, causing a few eyes to be drawn towards us.

“Oi, stop shouting. People are watching. If I say no dog, then no dog, got it? You can get a dog when you grow up. Now hurry up and decide what you want to eat, we're about to order.”

I give him the half lidded eyes with a slightly serious tone. The little boy finally stops talking, his face all pouty as he poorly holds the big menu, the plastic bending.

“Mommy, I want pancakes and cheesecake.”

“C/N, you can only pick one; that's too much. Just ask your dad to order one and you order the other so you guys can share.”

“Hm? What?”

I ask, as if the thought of sharing my precious cheesecake or pancakes was so absurd.

“You heard.”

I sigh and give her the half lidded eyes, before eventually complying.

After we order, our deserts arrive in a short while, and I feel my mouth water at how delicious the food looks. Especially the pancakes.

“Try and top this.”

I smirk as I take a bite into the big fluffy pancakes, the texture making my taste buds flutter.

“You'll see.”

“Yeah, like, in a million years.”

“Shut up.”

#lets ✨write!✨#lets ✨request!✨#project sekai x reader #akito x reader #shinonome akito x reader #akito shinonome x reader #project sekai #pjsk

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thebelugawhalefriend · 4 months

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Feathers - Rengoku x Reader

CW: DEMON SLAYER SPOILERS, Gore, Death, Afterlife

Note: The "Feather Breathing" mentioned here is something I tried to draw up as the reader's custom breathing technique. Apologies if it isn't up to Demon Slayer canon ^^ Also, do let me know if you want a continuation 👀

Before you stood a monster of crimson and ink black. Formed into a wolfish monster of gargantuan proportions. Its body was covered in bloodied maws as tyrades of limbs clung onto the sides of buildings. This was no upper or lower rank demon, and yet it still had an animalistic prowess to kill and overpower. Colleagues below and over you litter the streets with claw and bite marks torn through their flesh and bones. Civilians laid next to them with their shared fate.

"Stay behind me! I'll protect you!"

You stood right in front of two children, a boy and a girl holding each other in horror. If you were drawn to do anything, it was to protect these two with your life. One giant orange eye opens from the main head's temple with its maw opening to roar down. Sword in hand, you readied your next attack...

"Feather breathing..."

A style passed on from generations of your own swordsman family. Your mother had taught you from an early age ever since your father's passing. She had to step up to the plate he left as protector, return to her role as an instructor for you.

"Third form, Gentle Swipes!"

The attack was four swipes all aimed at its false heads, gentle as to not disturb the whiskers it could use to detect your moves. Now with those threats gone, you could-

"(Y/N)! Damn it, fall back!"

The Hashira assigned is here- The Wind Hashira.

Yet, you couldn't find the heart to fall back and cower. Not when you were so CLOSE to defeating this beast!

"Feather breathing, first form!"

"(Y/N)!"

The Hashira could only stand in front of the two children you sought to protect in the first place. He was absolutely left at a loss, given the job Kyojuro left him before his passing.

"Bird's Calling!"

You took one giant swipe at its neck, the feathers from your attack dancing and swaying with your swing. Anyone watching could've sworn they heard a hawk's cry upon your strike.

Just... A little... More strength-

CLASH!

Did... Did you kill it? You could feel your vision blurring rapidly, yet a warm feeling came over you. A feeling of triumph, perhaps? Yet, through the falling feeling, you could just barely glimpse at the work you'd done.

"DAMN IT- (Y/N)! HANG ON!"

His words fell deaf upon your ears. The beast before you held your blade only partly into its bleeding neck. As for you? Ruby red poured from you and dribbled above your sight during your fall. Little could you tell that a giant bite had been taken from your side, leaving little of yourself in tact. It wasn't until the fall ended that you finally blacked out from the impact.

...

"My love?"

"Kyo...?"

"Darling?"

"Where..."

"Why are you laying on the floor?"

Curious red eyes peer down into you, a smile sprawled across his face. None of the pain followed you into this reality. The only warmth you felt now was this reunion. You know him! And yet, mourning and crying didn't come to mind in this paradise. You could only leap up and bring him in for a tight hug.

"Kyojuro! I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Of course you would! I've always been here!"

"In this place?"

Your eyes wander curiously around the serene scene. Doves cooed and awed inside the treetops, while butterflies and bees all peacefully made their way to the lilies and irises. Leaves from the tree drooped and blossomed in what seemed to be an eternal spring.

"Not just this place, but with you. I always stayed with you in spirit... In heart."

He presses a gentle hand onto your heart, bringing back that familiar and burning hot love you'd felt all this time since you first met him. Your own hand goes to caress his hand, but you couldn't feel much of him.

"Is this it? Do I get to come back to you?"

Your words sounded excited, but the flame hashira only let out a hearty laugh.

"As if I would let my love die so young!"

His hands move to hold yours, looking into you with a new softness.

"You've been destined for greater than dying for nothing. Unlike myself, you've got much more life to live. A generation to raise and inspire, friends to support..."

He pulls you closer to him, now staring right down into you.

"It was always my duty to protect you and my friends. I have done so and will keep doing so... And so will the people I have trusted to care for you."

Your heart couldn't take just how sweet yet heartbreaking his words were. How you found out about his passing was Tanjiro's word, who'd taken the journey to your home to tell you of your love's passing. And yet, one thing stayed on your mind about his words.

"But I wouldn't have died for nothing, Kyo. I would have died protecting two children who've got even longer lives to lead. Even the littlest of lives are worth fighting for..."

With that, another one of his characteristics laughs erupt from his core, patting your head with a large and flashy smile.

"You always reminded me of that whenever you got yourself into trouble before! In fact, didn't you tell that to Sanemi when he almost killed that spider during training?"

"The spider didn't do anything to deserve a death under his foot! Much too smelly and honorless..."

Now this got a laugh from both of you, a weakness now taking over and bringing you to your knees. Kyojuro's smile softens into concern as he kneels down next to you.

"It's time for you to go, my love."

"Wait- Kyo, please, I waited for so long to see you again! Please..."

His hands come to cusp your face, placing a kiss to your lips for but one moment.

"I will still be here. For my sake, live your life to the fullest instead of waiting for death. Find another love and bring them peace. Continue to protect even the smallest of lives, no matter what you may face."

"You're asking for so much..." Your eyes well into large tears, the searing pain stopping you from absolutely sobbing, "I could never love another like I love you! I want nothing more than to wait for us to be together again!"

He tries to speak up, but your tears wound him too much for him to even utter a word.

"Every time a door opens, a part of me thinks you'll be there again! I'll have dreams about when we would eat together! You can't ask that I forget all of what we have just for another man to never live up to what you left...!"

He begins to hush you with a soft voice, pulling you in for a tight embrace. Kyojuro's own eyes pool into pained tears.

"I never asked that you forget me. I too want to meet you again... But like feathers, we must follow the winds of change. Take your time to dance in the breeze before you fall, because you? You deserve the full life that I never got to live. Heal, live, and I will wait patiently. Love again too, for your own sake. You will have my blessing, but only if the person you fall for can love you like I have."

Paradise begins to fade against your will, but your body tries hard to stay. In an attempt to get you to relax, he lifts up your chin and places a warm kiss to them. As it works, the vision fades quicker and quicker.

"I love you, (Y/N). Remember that..."

"(Y/N)..."

"(Y/N).."

"(Y/N)!"

"S-sir, you must not disturb the patients!"

The room feels so familiar... Oh, right, the injuries must have left you completely unconscious. Yet, the rough voice calling felt so... Comforting.

"Does it look like I give a shit?! I need to know if they're ALIVE!"

"They've b-been in a coma for weeks! I promise you t-they're alive-"

"... Mister Shinazugawa...? What are you..."

Both the Hashira and the helper fell completely silent upon your awakening. No one was confident you were even going to make it with a pierced kidney and a torn intestine. And yet, here you are, breathing and even talking.

"THEY WERE AWAKE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!"

The ruckus erupts a small chuckle from you, which only causes a rough cough. The girl fighting with Sanemi had quickly left him behind to calm you down.

"(Last Name), please! You can't be disturbing your body so soon- Your injuries are too severe!"

The white haired boy stood at the doorway in pure awe, almost unbelieving that you were alive.

"I-I must let everyone know you're awake! Oh- they'll be so relieved!"

With that, the helper ran from the room to leave you two alone. For a moment, you could catch Sanemi's look of shame.

"Mister-?"

"Please. Sanemi is fine."

The gesture brought a soft blush to your face, watching him slowly make his way to the side of your bed.

"You look like you'll die any moment if you try anything."

"I'm not going to yet, Sanemi. I told someone close to me that I wouldn't let myself yet..."

"The same one who made me promise to protect you?"

"I'm sure that is he."

A long silence falls between you both.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

"Huh?"

"I broke that promise to him. I couldn't get to you in time..."

You raise an eyebrow towards him, letting out a weak laugh.

"Kyo's the one you have to apologize to, not me. Besides, it was my choice to throw myself in danger..." You pause for a moment, "Are the children alright?"

"Physically, yes. But, they've been orphaned."

"..." Your thoughts escape you for only a moment, "Is it possible to have them sent to my mother's estate?"

"Excuse me?"

"She's still relatively young enough to still keep watching young ones. It's important that they find somewhere to call home."

"You don't know if they have family to turn to, (Y/N)! Besides, why would you care after they almost got you killed?!"

"Someone reminded me that... Even the littlest of lives are important to care for. Every feather should have strong winds to guide them through life."

#rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #kny kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader

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mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess · 6 months

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Wish

This is for prompt 30 from @sasukimimochi's fall writing/drawing challenge, "Moon".

This is actually a retelling of one of my favorite memories with my grand-grandmother, and since the day her birthday would have been celebrated on is coming up, I've decided to write this in her memory. She always loved it when I'd write stories and give them to her, even if they were pretty low quality.

Anyways, enjoy <3

It is often dark in the Burial Mounds, even in the daylight. The dark miasma of resentment is so thick that sunrays cannot pierce through it, so the place is constantly bathed in a sickly dim light. It is rare that the fog of resentful energy lifts up enough for the sky to be visible beyond its color – but tonight, the moon is shining bright and resentful energy weaves around the soft breeze like a thin, dark veil, giving way for moonlight to shine against the dark peaks.

A-Yuan has been staring at the moon for a while now, a soft smile on his little face. It is long past his bedtime, but granny can’t find it in herself to bring the boy to bed. He seems fascinated with the moon, and with how little he gets to see it, granny won’t steal this small joy from him, not as his life is so devoid of it now.

Instead, she joins him on the makeshift bench in front of their makeshift hut, placing the shoddy blanket she’s barely managed to finish knitting over the little boy’s shoulders. It is getting chilly after all, and there is no doctor in their group anymore…

“You know,” granny starts, wrapping an arm around A-Yuan, “When I was little, my own grandmother told me that the moon can understand people, and that if you talk to her, she will listen to you, and even grant wishes!”

A-Yuan turns to granny, eyes shining with wonder. Granny smiles at him, and takes him in her arms, tucking him tightly inside the blanket. “The moon can also talk to people that are not near us and send them a message, so if you ever miss someone, tell the moon and she will let them know.”

A-Yuan makes a curious sound, staring up at the shining circle in the sky. He does miss his parents, and hopes the moon can tell them to come find him and take him home. He also misses his friends, and the two little dogs they used to play with in the garden of his house.

There are a lot of people A-Yuan hopes the moon will bring back to him. But he also wishes auntie Qing and Uncle Ning had more time to play with him, and Xian-gege would tell him where they went so A-Yuan could maybe take granny and go find them. He also wishes Xian-gege wasn’t so angry and so sad anymore, and he would take A-Yuan on rides on his shoulders again.

He also wishes granny would be healthy forever and not scrunch her face in pain every time she has to move, and she would cook A-Yuan those little cakes A-Yuan always ate too many of.

There is a lot A-Yuan wishes for – and he hopes the moon can grant him all of it. Or at least some of it.

In granny’s arms, warm and safe and comfortable, A-Yuan drifts off to sleep as he watches the moon, glowing against a dark, endless sky.

“Sizhui? Aren’t you going to bed?” Jingyi asks, groggily shielding his eyes from the moonlight peeking through the large window. He really cannot sleep unless the room is fully dark, and Sizhui having drawn the curtains away to let moonlight through has bothered him out of slumber.

Sizhui stares out the window, a memory fighting to come up to the surface as his gaze fixates onto the full moon outside.

He almost wants to talk to it.

“Sizhui, close the curtains, we have an important night hunt tomorrow and we need to sleep well. I’ve heard those Mo village people aren’t all that pleasant.”

“Do not listen to rumors.” Sizhui replies, distantly, as he draws the curtains together and gets into bed again.

He closes his eyes and almost thinks he feels a pair of arms envelop him and a blanket around his shoulders…

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #lsz #writing attempts

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onboardsorasora · 2 months

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'I dunno what this is' - my usual trope lmao but I'm just happy to have written something. this week was great emotionally but also exhausting and a drag so this may not be the greatest but I'm happy about it. As always, idk where this is going or if its even going anywhere. also as always, I haven't read it over lol we are working with vibes over here. I had this idea last night so theres that at least

Lewis stares at the guy who is supposed to be replacing Seb for the summer break, while he goes off on a well needed family vacation. Originally Lewis hadn’t needed a supplemental security guy, but then he’d started getting an increased amount of hate mail again ever since he eclipsed Max and Charles to be P1 in the championship standings again.

It was a great feeling, being P1. Even if the trade off sometimes meant that people took out their pitchforks.

Either way, he didn’t think this new guy would make the cut. He was cute, but he needed more than a pretty face to keep him safe. Didn’t matter if he came by Seb's personal request.

He was cute in a douchey Italian way, with his grown in facial hair and kinda wild curls. Lewis watched him as Seb gave him the run down, he was listening attentively at least and nodding along. Finally they joined Lewis out on the terrace, Seb looking as stern as ever and the new guy looking chill as if they were here for lunch.

“Lewis, this is Daniel Ricciardo, the guy I told you about.” Seb introduced, Daniel leaned forward to shake Lewis’ hand with a smile. Lewis looked him up and down, trying to place the military training that Seb claimed they had together. He didn’t see it, but he trusted his guy.

“Enchante.” Daniel grinned.

“You look like you were out partying last night, man.” Lewis said with a grin. Daniel laughed and his face got maybe ten times prettier.

“Yeah nah that's just my face. I can't help my dashing his looks.” Daniel shrugged carelessly. “I've been told it's quite punchable but what can you do, eh?”

That startled a laugh out of Lewis which in turn made Daniel grin even more. Lewis wanted to amend his previous impression of him, he was dangerous.

“So Seb says you’ve had an uptick in threatening DMs?” Daniel’s face became more focused, brows drawn in. it was Lewis’ turn to be blaise.

“No more than usual.” Lewis shrugged, he saw Seb shift from his periphery and Daniel raised a brow.

Daniel made a clicking sound with his tongue before turning to Seb. “Yeah, I’ll just stay, those kinda threats can go left pretty fast.” He was motioning with his hands and Lewis couldn’t stop looking at his fingers. His hands looked strong, steady. He had a tattoo on his wrist but his long sleeves prevented Lewis from seeing much else.

“Ah, bet.” Seb was saying. “And Lew is vegan, like I told you. That won’t be a problem I assume?”

Lewis wanted to roll his eyes, as if he would force anyone to become vegan to work for him. Daniel grinned again and Lewis was drawn to his face.

“Oh yeah I'm cool with being vegan for the next month or so.” Then he laughed, a wild but fun sound, “I had a fried chicken burger this morning as a send off anyway.”

“For breakfast?” Lewis asked dubiously.

“For brekkie. With an oat milk latte.” Daniel crossed his heart as if he was attempting to be a boy scout. Lewis was horrified with himself to find out that it was endearing him to the unserious man.

“Alright perfect. Thanks man, you really are doing me a solid.” Seb looked relieved that Daniel seemed to have passed some test. Lewis hadn’t realized any of them were being tested, but he trusted that Seb knew what he was looking for.

“No sweat mate, call us even for Ibiza.” Daniel grinned a squinty eyed grin when Seb threw his head back and cackled. Lewis looked on confused but content to let it go, he would have more than enough time in the next few weeks to try to get information out of Daniel. Especially information about how Seb was when they were younger.

Daniel eventually left with a spare key, saying he would go pack a bag and be back in an hour. It was just Lewis and Seb.

“You sure about this guy?” Lewis asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and staring into his friend’s blue blue eyes.

“100% I trust him with my life. Just.. keep your regular schedule, he’ll blend in an you’ll forget he’s even here.” Seb shrugged, Lewis looked at him dubiously.

“Yeah fine. If you say so.”

They walked to the door together, Seb would be heading back to Switzerland tonight. Seb looked at him assessing for a moment.

“Be truthful with me, if you’re uncomfortable with the situation we can figure something out.”

“No, Seb it’s fine. Go, have fun with Kimi and the kids. We’ll be fine here.” Lewis rolled his eyes.

“Fine fine. Sure sure. Just promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

Seb’s eyes became teasing. “Don’t fuck him, yeah?” Then he cackled all the way out the door, leaving Lewis stunned.

#im just happy to be here lol #dewis #lewis/daniel #and seb is also there #bodyguard daniel #i guess??

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cyanide-latte · 2 months

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I don't go to TWST but I'm loving watching you get into the community. As an outsider, I just wanna ask, how do you come up with character names? Is there any relation to the character you're twisting from?

Aaahhh Jay dear, you know I love this kind of question because diving into this kind of thing is my delight!

And as for the answer...

✨✨✨

Regarding Copper and the characters attached to him, each of them is a fairly unimaginative nod to the characters they're twisted from, save for perhaps Old Flynn (twisted from Rufus the cat, I went for the meanings of both names and how similar they were.) As for Copper and the fact he's a double twist, his chosen name wasn't too hard to take from "Penny", (speaking in the Doylist sense,) and his deadname is actually the reference to Captain Barbossa (currently. He might later adjust his form of address in the future in ways that reflect that as well.)

✨✨✨

The Wei family is somewhat trickier. I initially had mostly developed just Wei Renqiao, with his uncle Wei Gang and cousin Wei Xinyi as afterthoughts. And since Wei Renqiao is an expy of Shan Yu while also being very much his own person, that set the stage for how I chose to name him.

The family name "Wei" has a variety of different meanings based on the characters it's written with. I went for the characters meaning "dangerous" or "towering", partially as a nod to Shan Yu in Wei Renqiao's character, but also because it fit the way my muse was unfolding and determining that the Wei family are often the fierce protectors and leaders of their people.

Wei Renqiao's name is written with "Ren" for "trust" or "rely on" and Qiao for "artful, skillful, clever". Clearly this is where some deviation from Shan Yu occurs and we see he's his own character. It should also be noted his name at birth was actually Wei Feng, written with "Feng" as "phoenix", which is both a nod back to Shan Yu in a way, as well as an hint at his Signature Spell/Unique Magic. He doesn't care to be called this though.

His uncle's name, Wei Gang, has the characters for "rigid" or "strong", both meant to prove a few things about his character but it was ultimately landing on that name that made me realize he was indeed twisted from The Emperor (I'd been suspicious but not certain up to that point.)

Wei Xinyi is the one that especially delights me as a bit of serendipity! I hadn't intended them to be a Mulan expy, not initially, but I must have been leaning in that direction anyhow because their SS/UM allows them to switch between genders, and I knew that about them first. From there I went hunting for a name and stumbled across "Xinyi", which I've noticed can be written with m. or f. characters. (It's the "Xin" that can be written differently but the "Yi" is the same.) That name jumped out at me when trying to pick something, not necessarily for its meaning so much as the fact I noticed it can be written either way and still largely mean the same thing, and Xinyi themself immediately decided that was their name, so it stuck!

✨✨✨

THEN WE GET TO CHRYS AND HIS PARENTS AND BOY OH BOY.

I picked his mother's name, Kallisto, out of a list of possible names. I already had a pre-existing bias towards the name, yeah, though I must say its meaning ("most beautiful") wasn't necessarily the deciding factor or even tied to what she's twisted from. It was only a couple of days ago I even realized I had drawn on aspects of the Muses for her character!

Ilias was a little more deliberate, as one of the meanings of it is "prophet" or "oracle" or "diviner". Again a hint-hint, wink-wink about Ilias's SS/UM, but in this case it's also because a lot of aspects of him I drew from the Fates.

CHRYSANTHOS. OH CHRYSANTHOS. I WAS DOING SOME 5D CHESS WITH HIM.

The Shroud family in canon is twisted from Hades, they've all got characteristics of him, noticeably the hair. And I do love a good surname that's a point towards Hades being the Lord of the Dead.

I've got a running joke that Chrys is my little flower boy. I'll explain some of that in future posts, but his parents chose his name because at one point his hair reminded them of chrysanthemums when he was a baby. And while that may be considered chuckle-worthy, chrysanthemums are funerary flowers in most parts of the world. (Most of America doesn't attribute them as such, but New Orleans actually keeps to this. This has nothing to do with the character, I just find that interesting.) And you know me; the second I saw that was a Greek name based on chrysanthemums, that part of me that goes nuts for the language of flowers latched on and went feral for the layers of symbolism there.

As for that tying to the fact has a lot of character traits from Meg, well...take that as you will.

Taglist: @ramshacklerumble @simons-twsted-children @tixdixl @inmateofthemind @blithesharem @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter

#thank you for the ask my dear i was so excited to see this!#TWST OCs #Copper Benoit #Wei Renqiao #Chrysanthos Shroud #Wei Xinyi #Ilias Shroud #Kallisto Shroud #my OCs #meta #Cyanide speaks

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deaddee-anime-brownfanlady · 9 days

Text

TOP 10 personal Favorite Manga.

Here's just a couple of manga that I love & just think are top-notch.

NUMBER: 1 : TOKYO GHOUL

A series that means a lot to me in many ways. When I first got into Tokyo Ghoul it was by the very first season of the anime during 2014 and upon hearing the opening theme of Unravel and seeing the first episode, I was hooked and went into the manga series right after. A nuanced morally compelling storytelling with an array of so many cool and great characters and narratives, incredible art progression from Ishida Sui, and overall just a satisfyingly great conclusion to boot.

NUMBER: 2 : J NO SUBETE

On the surface, looks like a regular BL series, but underneath an emotional-roller-coaster and pretty heavy story about a transwoman named J. Set in the 40s /50s, you fellow J childhood and the awful, rough bullshit she deals with in life as well as her love & massive admiration of Marilyn Monroe. Really such a good story that deals with some real heavy shit...but still so good.

NUMBER: 3 : MONSTER

Not only one of my favorite anime adaptations but also equally as wonderfully engaging & just as well done as a manga as well. Monster is such a captivating, intense story and truly one of my favorites from Urasawa's works. Following Dr. Tenma, a talented neurosurgeon who has grips with the moral dilemma of either saving the Mayor or saving a young boy who was shot in a murder. Tenma chose to save the boy instead and while it costs him being demoted he still believes he did the right thing. Unfortunately years later discovering the boy he saves...turns out to be a killer. This series is such a banger from its storytelling to the characters and just one of the best from Urasawa's.

NUMBER: 4 : GOODNIGHT PUNPUN

At first glance of this manga, you might think of it as something of a cute slice-of-life story about a cute cartoony bird. But actually when reading it...IT'S WAY MORE DARKER and GETS A LOT MORE FUCK UP! For real Goodnight Punpun is one of those series that's start-up pretty light-hearted and a little bit goofy with Punpun being a cartoony-drawn bird amongst very average-looking humans as a young kid in the first volumes of the series. But as things move forward within the story as Punpun gets older and his family situation gets more unstable as well as his life, the tone gets more depressing as a whole. Love the dark psychological storytelling, although it definitely the type of story you can only read once in awhile or in a good headspace because it definitely can be a hard read.

NUMBER: 5 : BERSERK

Seriously, what can I say about Berserk that already hasn't been said on some level. But this manga is seriously, I feel one of the most top iconic series within manga as well as one of the most engaging, moving, fantastic, epic storyline I've read thus far. I know the series itself is still ongoing, and I've been keeping up-to-date with this story since reading the very first chapter. Hearing about Kentaro Miura death....was tough, I knew he had serious health issues, which is why volumes would tend to go on pretty long hatiuses... but man. Another influential iconic figure in manga gone, Berserk is definitely a series any manga-lover or anime fan should read once in awhile.

NUMBER: 6 : SHOUWA GENROKU RAKUGO SHINJUU

Not only one of the most beautifully mature, well-written, compelling storytelling I've seen thus far in an anime series. But as a manga, even more so, a well-crafted story on the life and times of a sad, burden-ridden, slightly bitter, depressed, old man known as Yakumo Yurakutei, who is a highly skilled and experienced master of Rakugo, which for those who don't know is an traditional Japanese verbal form of entertainment. Think of it as something like a form of Improv done by only one person playing different characters to tell a story, This series has many layers to its storytelling that's is done so well dealing with Yakumo and those in his life that has impacted him as to the type of pained almost broken old man he is within the present time. Just a overall good & bittersweet but fantastic story that's deserves to be check out more.

NUMBER: 7 : INNOCENT

It is one of the most beautifully drawn manga series that I have read so far while also being equally gruesome as well. Innocent is a fictionalized historical manga set during 18th century France about the story and legacy of Charles Henri Sanson (actual real historical figure), who is the fourth generation of a family of Executioners known as the Sanson family who are the royal Executioners of Paris. The story follows Charles rough journey towards his path of becoming the Monsieur De Paris. This absolutely such a fantastic piece of work, both in terms of the visually amazing stunning artwork and along with the historical storytelling of Charles coming to terms with his hated lineage and becoming Executioner of Paris but also showcasing the societal/political chaotic changes and upheaval of France slowly leading up to the French revolution. Although some historical aspects are obviously fictionalized, but still such a good series.

NUMBER: 8 : THE PROMISED NEVERLAND

While my feelings on the anime are highly mixed due to really, really, really not caring for the way they handled parts of the storytelling from season 2 of the anime series. But the manga, on the other hand, is a totally different story. Seriously, reading this series was a blast and just an enjoyable experience from beginning to end, as well as seeing Emma and Ray also Norman grow & and develop throughout each arc was great to witness including seeing the rest of the kids thrive and survive the outside world. For this manga was a great read, and definitely, I'll say at least personally to me was done far better then the second season flimsy adaptation.

NUMBER: 9 : HOMUNCULUS

Truly an mindfuck of a manga in more ways than one. But still a pretty damned good and wild story, Homunculus is a story about a homeless man named Susumu Nakoshi who ends up meeting a seemingly antagonistic young medical student named Itoh Manabu to do a little experiment on him by drilling a actual hole in his skull for a total of 700,000 ¥en. Itoh, who is very fascinated with studying the human minds and amongst other things such as ghosts and the occult, but ultimately he thinks he can unlock the hidden psychic potential of Susumu brain. Nakoshi goes through the process, and at first, nothing seems to happen after going through the the operation. Until he closes his right eye and starts seeing otherworldly nightmarish monsters and shapes with his left eye when he looks at other people. This series is truly a weird but also such a highly intriguing and fascinating psychological read while at the same time being a bit of a downer, but still an excellent but messed-up good story.

NUMBER : 10 : ATELIER OF WITCH HAT

Okay, so I just recently started reading this manga series not that long ago, about a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm so freaking hooked. Atelier of Witch hat has truly captured my heart and mind with its engaging and creatively fascinating world-building involving witches and magic to the just as highly interesting characters and storytelling. Which centers around our young protagonist Coco ( the girl on the cover) who is this super adorably passionate girl who has such a huge love for all things magical /witches and deeply wishes she could become one as well, but unfortunately normal people or "outsiders" can't become witches, you have to be born into it, but that's doesn't stop Coco from trying her hardest to still wanting to be a witch. One of the things I love most about this world and how it handles dealing with magic and witches is that magic is really normal within this world and how witches tend to uses it to help and serve regular people in need or even for lighting up a cobblestone pathway also I really like how the magic system is structured in this series, such as instead of casting spells or any from of magic with words or a phrase, magic is casted by drawing, Coco here ends up in a pickle with accidentally casting magic that ends up turning her mom into stone & thus Coco journey towards witchood begins.

Seriously, even though I've just recently gotten into this manga & and its ongoing tale it's already has captivated me on so many levels and I just can't get enough of it so far wonderful storytelling and amazingly beautiful drawn artsy apart of it which really adds a lot of this series fantastical elements. Definitely a must to check out!!

Wanted to do a list of a couple of some of my most top favorite manga series and ones were I feel other's should give them a shot at checking out if there into any of these stories. (^ _ ^)

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