#its just so much to fill out. all my food all my symptoms and at what time and how much sleep

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Lost in Ikea. || John Price x Reader

For @glitterypirateduck's “O, Captain!” writing challenge! I used prompts:

4. Lost in an IKEA

41. Price and Reader run into each other (literally)

48. A character tries to hide that they are crying or upset

Rating: E Words: 1.3K cw: period/menstruation + symptoms, feelings of inaddequacy?. Tags: afab!reader (bc menstruation), you/your pronouns but no Y/N, crying, hurt/comfort, strangers. Summary: Reader is just having a bad day and John is a kind stranger. a/n: I just needed a little hurt/comfort for the soul. This isn't too serious. Also the 'lost' part of Ikea is more emotional than physical. ALSO ALSO, OFC I HAD TO DO THIS PROMPT, my screen name is literally Ikea.

Should you have gone to Ikea while on your period, when you’re in pain and light-headed and in a mood to kill a man? No.

Here’s the thing, you wanted a specific little bear plush they sell there (DJUNGELSKOG). And a meal from the restaurant. And maybe a new lamp. And a new set of bed covers and pillows. And honestly, you could use a little trolley for your craft supplies. And since you’re there you might as well no longer postpone buying that shelf you need-

You walked around the store for over two hours just looking at everything and, steadily, filling up your card with more than you expected. Little knick-knacks, a new set of cups for the kitchen, a picture frame, etc. etc. 

You took your time, moved at your own pace, slowly observing all the room displays… Maybe got lost at one point, but that’s neither here nor there.

Once you found a storage trolley you liked, as well as a shelf, you advanced through the warehouse, pushing your large cart along.

The trolley came first. It was small and light enough and after checking that the box said White, you found yourself perfectly able to drag it onto the large metal warehouse platform cart.

But then the shelf- you crouched down and tried to get a grip on the box and pull, but the bitch was heavy. You huffed and struggled, but it wouldn’t budge. It probably didn’t help that both your womb and your lower back were throwing a rager of cramps and all your muscles were sore.

Maybe you shouldn’t have come on your period. Another weekend, any other weekend, and you’ve been strong enough to get the box with the disassembled shelf off its perch… But you wanted to do it today! 

You wanted to feel like you got something done. You wanted the sense of accomplishment… You wanted to feel like you persevered through the pain! 

You had the whole day planned out: You got out of bed, you showered, you had proper food and a desert, you cleaned your house, you went outside, and you finally completed something you had been putting off!

You couldn’t leave without the last one! You had to get it out! You wanted to take the stupid shelf home with you!!!!

Tears start pooling in your eyes, your lip beginning to tremble. You’ll blame it on the hormones and the frustration.

Stomping your feet, you walk down the aisle, abandoning your cart and turn the corner intent on pushing the box out from the other side-

Then you smack into a person and it knocks you so off balance (you were already sort of light-headed either way) that you drop onto the linoleum floor.

If the day wasn’t already bad enough and you weren’t already crying, taking a hard seat on the floor in front of a stranger only made you feel that much worse.

“Christ, you alright?” A man’s concerned voice comes from above you. You wince and close your eyes hard, trying to conceal the tears in them.

“Y-Yeah. Sorry. I was in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention.” You murmur and turn to the side, using the floor and the industrial shelf next to you to pull yourself up to your feet.

“No, I’m sorry, I was walking fast too.” He replies. “I wasn’t fast enough to catch you. Might be getting old. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be.” His tone sounds playful, like he’s trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, haha.” You try to laugh it off. You still haven’t properly glanced at him and he can tell that you’re trying to conceal your redened eyes as you look off to the side.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Didn’t hurt you, did I?” He checks, his voice a lot more gentle.

God, you feel pathetic. Crying in front of a stranger in the middle of an IKEA warehouse. 

“I’m fine… Just… having a bad day.” You reply and for a moment you finally look over at him.

Great. On top of making a fool of yourself in front of a stranger who happens to be super kind, said stranger is also older and hot, definitely a dilf. Great, just great. You really should’ve stayed at home today.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” He replies softly as he peers at you with bright blue eyes under thick brown eyebrows.

“It’s fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make this whole thing awkward. I’m sorry.” You turn to return to your things. Fuck the damn shelf, you’re going home and never coming to this IKEA again.

“Wait. Hey!” He says as he calls after you. Turning to look at him, your face twists into an upset, embarrassed look.

“You don’t have to apologise for having a bad day or having a cry, it’s alright.” The man says as he approaches you again when you’re already at your cart.

As he speaks, you notice there’s no pity in his tone, or some sort of cringe-riddled sentiment of awkwardness that comes to normal people when a stranger suddenly overshares. He’s just… kind.

Your face softens a bit more and you quickly turn to look away. Instead, your eyes find the stupid box with the shelf you want, still on the industrial shelves, and you start crying more.

“I just want that bloody shelf and it’s… it’s too heavy and I can’t get it into the cart and- I can’t believe I’m crying over this!” You complain and gesture vaguely to the space in front of you as you find yourself sniffling.

“Alright. Hey, it’s alright.” He assures you and gives you a friendly tap on the back, on your shoulder, over your hoodie. “How about I get it for you?” He asks.

You find yourself looking up at him. “I don’t wanna bother you.”

“Not at all!” He says with a friendly smile and a nod. “I’m plenty strong and I’m already here! Plus, imagine me walking away now after offering?” He jokes.

You can’t help the chuckle the escapes you amidst your broken sobs. “Would’ve been proper rude.”

“Of course it would. And my mum raised me right.” He adds playfully, causing another chuckle to rise out of you. “That’s the smile I wanted.” He cheers.

John moves forward and crouches, helping to slide the heavy box off the shelf with a mighty grip of his big hands, sliding it onto the bottom of the metal cart with the rest of your shopping. “There it is.”

“Thank you…” You murmur as you seek for tissues in your pockets, grabbing one to dab away your tears.

“It’s alright.” He assures you again. “And, for the record, there’s no shame in crying. If you would’ve asked me 3 days ago what I was doing, I’d tell you I was having a good sob in my car after going to the supermarket because I was so tired and overwhelmed.” He admits and chuckles.

“You?” You ask, not quite sure if he was being sincere.

“Oh, yeah. I cry all the time, me.” He tells you and winks one of those blue eyes at you, making you chuckle again.

“Well, thank you, erm…” You trail off, realizing you don’t know his name.

“John.” He says while reaching a hand forward for you to shake. You return the introduction with your own name.

“You think you’ve got this? Or are you gonna need help getting it into the car?” He gestures at your entire cart.

“Oh, shite, you’re right… Need to get this into the car…” You groan and facepalm yourself.

“Tell you what-” John says as he looks at you. “You wait for me while I get the rest of my things-” He takes a list of paper with scribbled reference numbers on it from his pocket. “And we’ll go through checkout together, and I’ll help load this up into your car?”

His offer is so sweet and sincere and kind, you find your eyes clouding with tears again. Then, you nod eagerly and dab away the tears with your crumpled up tissue again.

[ O, Captain! Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]

#ikea writes 💚 #ocaptainchallenge #cod x reader #cod fanfic #masterlist #captain john price #john price #john price x reader #call of duty #cod fandom #captain price #captain john price x reader #captain price mw2 #price mw2 #price

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.

Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum

Chapter 25

[Prev] [Next]

The shock did not go away.  If anything, it packed its bags and moved into your home.

You stood in front of the mirror in your bathroom dressed in only your bra and underwear.  Law stood behind you, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.  The air in the room was stifling as you gazed at the bump that had already started showing in your belly.

You had an approximate due date.  May 22nd.

You were officially, according to your implantation date and calculations done by Robin, on your ninth week of pregnancy.  Your hCG levels in each blood test had increased as expected, and your babies had heartbeats.

Your babies.  Plural.

Your symptoms were exacerbated by the fact that you had not one, but two embryos inside you.  Breast tenderness, backaches, nausea, dizziness, the whole nine yards.

Though, if you were being fair to yourself, your dizziness could easily have been a side effect of being labeled as ‘extremely high risk.’  Due to your history, and now due to being pregnant with multiples, you were given strict instructions to be much more present at your doctor’s office.  You were given prenatal vitamins to begin taking daily every single morning.  You were given foods to avoid in order to lower your risk of developing gestational diabetes.  You were also given foods more encouraged to eat.  Raise your blood iron.  Raise your sodium, but not too much.  Eat an increase of around 1000 calories a day to support the growth of two placentas and two babies.  Watch out for spotting, bleeding, pelvic pain, irregular bowel movements.  Watch out for headaches and weight gain or discolored urine, you might die.  Keep an eye on your mental health, what stresses you, stresses the babies.  But mostly, be excited!

Yeah, right.

Your hand traced the small bump in your belly.

“You know…” you began, making Law perk his head up to listen to you.  “I always thought that seeing a baby bump would be the most exciting moment of my life… but I’ve never been more scared.  Ever.”

Law approached you from behind, wrapping his hands around your bare waist and resting his chin on the crown of your head.  His scent enveloped you like a blanket, instantly warming your skin and calming your heightened nerves.  One of his hands traveled down the skin of your abdomen, resting on top of where yours lay above your uterus.

“I can’t lie to you… I am, too,” he added, his voice heavy with thought.

“Am I a bad person for not being excited?” you asked, your voice surprisingly stable despite the racing heart in your chest.  “I mean, I am excited.  So far their hearts are still beating… but…”

“You’re not a bad person at all,” replied your husband, planting a kiss to the back of your head.  “It’s perfectly rational that you feel scared.”

“Terrified…” you clarified for the both of you.  “I feel terrified.”

You and Law made eye contact in the mirror.  The way he had his arms wrapped around you reminded you of a security blanket given to trauma victims in an ambulance.  The thought made a wry smile break out onto your lips, making your husband cock an eyebrow.

“What’s got you smiling all of a sudden?” he asked with a slight upward turn to the corner of his mouth.

You mustered out a dry chuckle.  “You’re my trauma victim security blanket.”

The randomness of your sentence made Law’s shoulders bounce slightly as he laughed, holding you closer to him.  “I know it’s really hard for you to do so, but I think we should both try as hard as we can to think positively.  It’ll probably be healthier for you.”

You looked up at him, a smirk dancing over your face.  “That sounds crazy coming from you.”

You yelped in surprise as Law scooped you into his arms and carried you to your shared bedroom before plopping you down on your mattress, him sprawling out beside you.  “What was that for?”

“So you wouldn’t stress yourself out in the mirror,” he replied, his voice hoarse yet tender as he stared at you from his pillow.  “I’m being serious, though.  I know the stakes are high, but there’s gotta be things we can think about to prevent you from getting stressed.”

You turned your body to lay on your back, lacing your hand with his as you stared at your ceiling.  “Any examples?”

Law hummed in thought, glancing around the room.  His eyes landed on your framed, signed Sora poster.  The frame had a very small crack in it from being moved out of your sophomore year dorm room, but the poster inside was still in perfect condition.  “Think about our kids watching Sora.  Maybe we can dress them up as Sora and Stealth Black for Halloween.”

The tender thought almost immediately made you smile.  Your mind flooded with even more thoughts of Law as a dad, tailoring Halloween costumes for his kids and making them feel perfect.  Your thoughts of Law with one baby had now evolved into thoughts of him with two, rocking two armfuls of swaddled infants to sleep, kissing their little foreheads, pushing them in a double stroller.  Your eyes began to well with tears which you quickly blinked away, choosing instead to push yourself up and roll over, hooking one of your legs in between Law’s and laying across his chest.  His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, tracing invisible patterns into the skin of your back.

“I get really happy thinking about you as a dad,” you sighed.  “You’re gonna be so amazing.”

Law chuckled, his chest rumbling.  “That’s the kind of positivity I’m talking about.”

You giggled.  “I mean it, though.  Remember before we got married and you said you were so scared to have kids one day?  Because you didn’t want them to go through what we had?”

His face fell slightly, recalling the memory.  He was still in the middle of his residency program, and you were jumping job to job with random, unstable freelance gigs.  It wasn’t the instability of your lives that made him weary, however.  Rather, it was the looming anxiety that everything good in Law’s life would someday be snatched away from him.  And that had happened to you, twice.

But when he stepped back and thought about the broader picture, it got easier for him to see clearly.  How you put up with his shitty attitude when you first met.  How quickly you opened yourself up to him, exposing your deepest fears and troubles and being patient with him when he struggled to reveal his own worries to you.  How you told him you loved him after only five months, terrified that you were going to scare him off, and all he could do in response was give you the most awkward, inexperienced kiss you had probably ever received.  And you stayed by his side even when it took him almost a full year to say those three little words back.

You brushed your fingers along Law’s cheek, tracing the soft hair of his sideburns before hooking around his head and burying into the fluffy black wisps behind his ear.  You pressed a smattering of kisses across his jaw and cheekbones, over his nose and finally on his lips.  “When I think about positive things, I think of you.”

Law’s lips broke into a wide smile, the kind of smile he only ever showed you.  The kind of smile that wrinkled the skin around his eyes and revealed the single small dimple he had on his right cheek.

A sudden ringing from his phone on the bedside table startled the two of you out of your lovestruck daze.  With a grumble, he reached over and grabbed the device, you rolling off of him and sitting criss-cross on your side of the bed.  He tapped the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear.  You could just barely make out the words spoken on the other end.  After a brief goodbye, Law hung up the call and uttered a heavy sigh before standing up and grabbing his uniform coat.

“Emergency surgery?” you asked.  You were only slightly disappointed with the interruption of your intimate moment, but it was nothing you weren’t already used to.

He nodded with a frown before walking back over to you and stealing a quick kiss from your lips.  “Patient just came into the ED with a STEMI.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Don’t worry about me, go save the world,” you said with a smile.  He tossed you a somber grin as he stepped into his shoes, grabbed his work bag, and booked it out the door.  Living two minutes away from the hospital by car definitely had its perks.

You were surrounded by silence in your apartment when the front door was closed behind your husband.  With a sigh, you stood from the bed and paced toward Law’s wardrobe, opening the bottom drawer and pulling out one of his old sweatshirts.  It had a custom design on the front of it, one that he also had tattooed on his back.  His living situation after he lost his biological family wasn’t ideal, but the little ways he held onto the memory of his adoptive father always brought a smile to your face.  You pulled the hoodie over you, taking off your bra underneath it and throwing it onto the end of your mattress, tiredly rubbing your sore breasts underneath the soft cotton of his shirt.  You turned around to face the rest of your bedroom.

The pregnancy journal that you barely started writing in was placed on top of Law’s desk.  With a deep breath, you grabbed the book, a pen, and a roll of white-out tape and proceeded to your couch in the living room.

You smiled at the sight of Bepo, stomach completely upward facing and paws outstretched as he snoozed away on his dog bed.  You had a feeling Bepo was going to be an absolutely incredible big brother.

You leaned against a pillow rested along the arm of the couch and propped up your knees to place the book on your thighs.  You finally mustered up your anxieties and opened the cover.

“Nothing but positivity,” you muttered to yourself.  You uncapped the pen and started writing.

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader #op x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #i'm losing you

[moriartyluver]

can we have some mtp boys (separate) on how they’d treat a fem! Reader who is on her period. You don’t need to make it historically accurate & if you’d prefer, you can make it modern au. Thank you!!!

A/N: I did this in a modern AU as suggested because I have no idea how people would have dealt with periods in the 19th century

Characters: William James Moriarty x fem! Reader , Albert James Moriarty x fem! Reader ,Louis James Moriarty x fem! Reader (separate)

Format: headcannons

Genre: hurt/ comfort, fluff

Prompt: the Moriarty brothers with a reader who is on their period.

Warnings: reader is afab, reader is female, established relationships, periods/menstruation etc.

LOUIS would be such a good partner in general so when you’re on your period? He is doing everything!

He’s already very much a househusband male wife kind of guy but it just gets so much more malewifey when you’re on your period

Oh you’re hot water bottle got slightly less warm? Louis is filling it up for your instantly

He will literally shower you in heating pads

I don’t think he’d be very physically affectionate in general, his love language is definitely acts of service and it’s very evident all the time, but if you ask to be held, hold you he will.

He’ll make you anything you want to eat no matter how strange (I always get really weird cravings on my period so if you do aswell, be prepared because Louis will stop at nothing to make you happy)

He has a whole storage cupboard packed with pads and tampons and whatever else you may use, all with your preferred sizes and brands because he’s just that caring. You never run out of pads or tampons with him around.

If any ones annoying you, he’ll be super pissed off and will actually get into a fight for your sake.

If you’re feeling emotional, he’ll be by your side reassuring you that everything’s okay. He’s a bit emotionally constipated but he tries his best for you.

If you ever need sheets to be washed or clothes to be cleaned, he won’t mind at all and he will definitely not get upset.

He himself doesn’t go out unless necessary so he’ll try stay at home with you all the time, just in case you need something (even if you insist that you’re fine)

Overall rating? 10/10 wifey material

WILLIAM probably knows more about your period than you do. Not in a gross mansplaining way but in a well educated husband kind of way

Like he definitely knows when you’re going to start you’re period based on symptoms and stuff before you get that little red surprise in your underwear. Worst feeling tbh.

He helps you learn how to track your cycle and if you’re an inconsistent period girlie like myself, he’s a great help. Imagine just getting ready to go out and then William tells you to make sure to take a pad/tampon/cup with you before you leave 💀

He pampers you too, especially if you live together, but not in the same way louis does.

He’s a bit more strict when it comes to what you should and shouldn’t eat (it’s the protective teacher in him). Liam makes you take magnesium supplements and makes sure you eat healthy even if you’re craving junk food so your cramps don’t get worse.

He’s probably calculated the perfect temperature for your heat pad/hot water bottle 😭

Probably a little more affectionate than his younger brother would be. If you’re complaining about being cold or uncomfortable, he’d put whatever book he’s reading down and hold his arms wide open for you. William absentmindedly rubs your back while listening to you complain about having a uterus

Definitely pressed kisses to your forehead while you ramble like the old fashioned lover he is 🤭

He makes sure to buy you really good quality pads/tampons and is sure to memorise which brands or types you prefer. Might slip a chocolate bar in there too. He also buys you painkillers and gives you the correct doses and everything at the right times

If you don’t feel like speaking much (he loves talking to you for some reason. its adorable) he gets a little upset but he’s a surprisingly good communicator. He doesn’t want to make you feel uneasy and bless his heart, he does all the chores and everything so you don’t have to suffer further while your uterus tries to fucking kill you

Overall rating? ∞/10 (I am totally not biased) I want to marry him idc if he’s a drawing

ALBERT is stupid. I’m sorry that’s a mean way to start off

I think we can all agree he has OCD or OCPD but he’s so sweet to you despite some seeing periods as a ‘Filthy’ thing.

You bled through the sheets? He’ll calmly help you fix that dw sweetie. If you bleed through your pants in public and anyone gives you any dirty looks or some weird shit because people hate uterus havers, he’s not called one of the most unhinged mtp characters for nothing 😊

Ok but this man knows nothing about periods though. I’m so sorry. Like you had to explain to him that no you can’t hold in the blood nor do you use your pad as a bandaid of some sort

Would probably send you one of these :(yes I made that)

He needs Louis to go shopping with him to help get you stuff because this man is smart enough for eton but not enough to know that different colours on pad packages are not flavours 🙄

Also he’s a shit cook so you still have to do that if u don’t wanna starve

Probably the most affectionate out of the brothers. He’s very cuddly with you when you need him to be (mainly because he feels bad for being so damn useless)

Overall rating? 2/10 💀

#moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #mtp william #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori x reader

[qiutls]

TNGDH 013

"It's obesity, Your Highness."

'What?'

"What?" Oh, I thought I was finally able to talk, but it was Kyle's voice.

The doctor who noticed the anger in the Grand Duke's voice trembled slightly.

"W-well, that, Your Highness' pet hamster, ah- I mean magical beast has no appetite and is inactive, so I thought that m-maybe..."

It was a breathtaking honorific, I'm the only one in this world to be treated this way, by the one and only veterinarian here.

Indeed, since this hamster is cherished by the Grand Duke, one can't carelessly say brash words like 'this rat' in front of His Highness, for fear of losing their voice.

It's absurd, but what can I do? They must be aggrieved to be born into a world where their status is less than a different species.

"It is a little difficult to determine if it has a disease because no trauma nor abnormal symptoms have been found. There was also no pain when I pressed its stomach. It's just when I pressed it carefully-"

"When you pressed it?"

Kyle urged him to speak with a serious look. The veterinarian shivered and continued as if he had been threatened with murder.

"..... It was j-just belly fat!"

I must've gained weight.

I slumped back down and looked at the two humans who were staring at me alternately. Why? What are you looking at? Is this your first time seeing a fat hamster? It's probably your first time, look at you two, you practically can't take your eyes off of me.

Of course, I knew why I gained weight. I ate too much during the morning. The food here in the North is pretty good, no scratch that, human food is just delicious compared to dried pollack. It's worth living as a human even if I was fed rice paste every day.

[ (^(00)^) ]

'... Did I eat that much?'

This morning Sen introduced me to the work at the kitchen. The servants were supposed to make fried sandwiches to distribute them to the refugees, but they were afraid of splashing oil, so I decided to help them out.

Who am I? I'm none other than the self-righteous man who worked at a fast-food franchise in Gangnam for four years, to earn tuition for college.

My amazing frying skills can fry any dish, you name it!

While frying, I took a bite of a sandwich to avoid the eyes of the people staring at me. Then I also took a bite of twisted breadstick, another bite of a sandwich, another bite of breadstick. One bite of donut, a bite of fried meat..... I had 10 bites. How many times did I repeat those 10 bites again?

Anyway, I ate my fill for 30 minutes. Kyle doesn't even give me fried eggs that hamsters can eat, why should I miss out on my only chance to eat high calorie foods.

I felt like a resident employee doing "bad things" prohibited to the newcomers, it felt good. Thanks to this skill, I have a chance to eat rice balls again. As expected, even if you roll in dog poop field, living is still better than dying, well living as a human, I mean.

When I left the kitchen patting my stomach, I heard the servants say how the food that came out of the kitchen seemed to be less than they thought. Ah! I don't care, I put an iron plate on my face and said I don't know why that happened. It seems like it was so cold in the North, that my face thickened.

Well, that's basically a summary of what happened in the morning.

"But Cashew Nut hasn't eaten since this morning!"

Kyle said panicking.

Of course, I didn't. If you were me and you just ate a box of fried food, would you still be blinded to eat nuts all day? You eat it.

But this morning, I didn't just stuff my stomach, okay? In order to prevent the chandelier incident, I tried to tell some servants and attendants to inspect the central chandelier at the banquet hall.

The problem was that my identity was ambiguous, and although my words were convincing, why would they believe someone who's unfamiliar and kept bothering them to check the chandelier.

The last servant I talked to just gave me a basket full of bread and said, "Don't insult the castle that is providing for you, just fry the food properly, so you don't get in trouble."

Anyway, after eating so much in the morning, Kyle was probably worried seeing me sleep all throughout the day and just waking up in the afternoon. So, he explained to the doctor, how I had no appetite and no energy.

"Look again, are you sure you didn't miss anything when checking its stomach?"

The veterinarian touched my stomach again out of courtesy and pressed down, his voice shook as he said.

"It's really just fat..."

Silence filled the room.

All right, take your hands off of me, you're trembling so much you even shook my whole body.

"I see..."

Kyle spoke in an unconvinced tone. I slipped away from the doctor's palm and went to hug his (Kyle's) elbow.

Take it easy, okay? If the vet said I gained weight, then I gained it. Will a hamster die just because he's fat? I'll even eat a nut or two during dinner, alright?

Kyle stroked by back with his fingertips perhaps because my silent consolation was too strong.

"..... How can you be obese when you're so cute."

Ah, this is shocking. It seems like there's no logic left in the North.

The vet seemed to think the same thing as I did, but he just kept quiet and bowed his head. That's right, there's only one life and we should cherish it.

"It seems like you need more care from now on."

"Yes, Your Highness, periodic care is very important. You should let it exercise as much as possible and avoid giving it a fatty diet. It would be helpful to feed it boiled vegetables. And don't worry too much, isn't the magical beast, still in its growing period?"

I'm sorry to say this, but my growth period ended 10 years ago...

"Probably after the growth period, the problem will be solved little by little as the body grows. So don't worry too much, Your Highness."

"Alright."

"Are bodies of magical beasts usually this big?"

"No, it's larger."

"Then, Your Highness, you may need to change things like the wheel, the size of the room, maybe even the house itself."

Kyle replied without hesitation.

"I can change it a hundred times if needed."

It's a tearful love for a hamster. Why are you spending so much money and love on me.

"By the way, you said periodic care."

Kyle pondered for a moment and said,

"I think your skills are good, and since this magical beast will continue to grow, why don't you settle here in the North."

"Here, in the North..."

The veterinarian seemed to have doubted his ears.

It's normal, of course. From the moment he checked on me, Kyle has worn a serious look, he probably can't understand why Kyle wants him to stay.

But maybe it's not a bad suggestion seeing as his face is slightly flushed. Is this guy in the original novel?

[ Veterinarian. Approximately 15 days until the estimated time fo death. ]

Death again? 

'Tell me how he's supposed to die.'

[ Belial's mother, the current empress, Serena Minehardt's old cat fell ill, and this veterinarian wasn't able to treat it, so he was executed immediately after the cat's death. ]

This reason... Is too absurd...

Is a veterinarian a god?

Isn't it common for pets to die of old age? You're killing a man because he couldn't make your cat immortal? She's an empress with no brain ah.

It seems like he used to work in the palace and realized the cat's situation and ran here to the North by joining the procession in disguise of taking care of horses.

If he had a reason to settle down in the North, it would be a great opportunity to save his life. While Kyle was busy paying, the vet's face was turning brighter and brighter.

"Don't worry about money, I'll pay you for treating him."

Money doesn't matter! Promise him you won't kill him even if this hamster dies, you tactless creature!

"Is there anything else you want? I'll negotiate with His Majesty (Belial) if you still have any concerns."

The veterinarian seemed to wonder whether it's better to stay with the royal family or here. Although they seemed like they would both do the same thing, an obese hamster's life expectancy seems to be longer than an old cat's.

"No! I'm honored to stay and be at your service, Your Highness."

There you go!

I went to the edge of Kyle's hand and patted the doctor's arm as a compliment. You made the right decision. This is the way to lengthen your life. 

[ The person who was fated to die is no longer in danger. ]

[ Miracle value has risen! ]

[ Current miracle value is 11.0% ]

Wow, it went up 3% in an instant. Saving people's live is indeed the right way.

My eyes brightened at the realization, if saving a no name character gives 3%, then how much more would I get if I save Kyle!

Add a zero next to the 3 next time, System. Write it big when the time comes.

[ The duration of "Summon" has been increased to 1 hour. ]

The skill which originally lasted for 30 minutes only has been increased twice. It's probably due to the miracle value exceeding 10%.

Alright! I'll get up earlier and eat 30 more fried- ah..... No let's stop eating that. At this rate, I might really forget how to walk.

The hamster's body was too honest. You gain as much weight as you eat. It's fortunate that my human body still stays the same.

"Cashew Nut."

After extending his life expectancy, the vet now has a bright face. However, Kyle still looked gloomy, as if he heard my life was ending soon.

Hey, you punk. It's you who has a month to live, you shouldn't be worrying about me. Technically, I- I'm already dead. I already died so.

..... I need to raise the miracle value, so that both you and I could survive. I have no choice but to trust the system.

"Cashew Nut, you must have heard what the doctor said earlier right?"

Usually, hamsters don't understand people, Your Highness.

"Occasional exercise can lengthen your lifespan."

Kyle put me back in the house and said solemnly.

Ahhh, I don't know. I don't understand. What exercise? I already ran a thousand laps on the wheel, I think that's enough exercise for my whole life. If you want to exercise so bad, do it yourself!

"Hurry up, don't you like this?"

He put the wheel in front of me and began spinning it with his finger while looking at me anxiously. The wheel turned like a Ferris wheel, and it improved my mood. Oh, he's actually good at acting cute, turn it around more!

"Cashew Nut, please."

― Eek! [ Don't wanna! ]

"Just one turn, okay?"

― Squeak! [ You do it yourself! ]

It's annoying, I don't want to exercise. After you sigh, everything you eat is already digested. Didn't you think I'm cute as a chubby hamster? Just accept it!

'By the way, what should I do with Belial.'

Ever since that day they almost fought, Belial hasn't visited the study once.

It's not hard to find out which room he's staying, but I can't get in as a servant. It's no use even if "Summon" lasted for ten hours instead of an hour.

'..... How to prevent the chandelier falling during the banquet.'

Ah, how am I supposed to do this.

I can already feel a headache coming. Mr. System, isn't this too difficult for a hamster to accomplish. Please change the difficulty to beginner mode!

[ _(:3」∠)_  ]

You're just lying down? Fine I'll just lie down as well.

I fell asleep drowsily after watching Kyle acting cute for a long time.

T/N: I'm sorry if the quality of the translation this time is a bit lacking, I'm currently sick, but since I already started translating this chapter, I thought I should just finish it before I let myself rest. Once again tysm to everyone who donated, it is much appreciated!!! novel ⠀✿⠀ next

#tngdh

[ca-kie]

it’s summer ✿ steve harrington

❀  [1.8k] best friend!steve harrington x fem!reader ✎.ೃ࿐ ˖♡ Every summer is hell. Both physically, and mentally. It's hot, and you still can't help but stay in your room all day. Right now, it's late, really late, and you're having another night-time descent to depression. You need someone with you, so who's best to call but your best friend? Wait- no- sorry! Nevermind... ╰┈➤ angst (also hurt/comfort?), fluff, implied suicidal ideation (if you've been thru it, you'll see it), descriptions of an anxiety attack, symptoms of depression, best friends to lovers !! , reader is implied to be shorter than steve and can wear his sweaters (doesnt say how it fits them tho!)

a/n: HI so this is actually my first fic uhmmmm!! i've based this fic a little on my own experiences with staying up late bc of anxiety, depression, all that jazz—and if at any point you feel triggered, its completely okay to click off! if i've missed any warnings pls dont hesitate to comment! same goes for things i could improve on! ALSO!! GUYS REBLOGGING HELPS A TON!! IT GETS WRITERS MORE REACH N STUFF!!! 

a/n 2: i edited a bit lol

also! you do not have permission to translate/post this onto other websites, tumblr is my only posting site as of now, and i will inform yall if i ever decide to add another. 

It should be playful splashes of water, and half-melted popsicles to beat the heat. Water balloon fight filled days, and picnics in the park. Stargazing in the cool of the night, and tired heads resting on shoulders. Where sweets and junk food replace heavy textbooks and tossed aside essays. 

Yet, it’s 4 seconds in, and 4 seconds out. It’s, “5 things you can see, 4 you can touch…” It’s sleepless nights filled with loneliness and anxiety. It’s dried-out tears on your cheeks as you stare at the dark of your wall. You can’t close your eyes without the intrusion of no-good-thoughts. You can’t keep them open without feeling like your lungs are closing in on themselves. You’re too scared to sleep, dreading having to battle through another, repetitive and emotionally-exhausting day. You just want it to stop.

‘Splash some water on your face to ground yourself’ your mom had told you. But as soon as you open your eyes, patting away leftover droplets, your gaze drifts over to the bathtub. A bucket of water, filled to the brim. You’re tired, everything is too much and you just need a break. The cold prickles against your fingertips, gliding smoothly as you draw patterns. Plugging your nose, you dip your head in; coming back up with a sense of refreshed-ness. Albeit, short-lived, but refreshing none-the-less. You find yourself chasing that feeling.

A soft stream of water…

Plop

Plip

Plop

Plip

You gasp, running to turn off the sink faucet. The stopper had somehow broken, and plugged up the sink. Fortunately, only a small puddle had formed during your reverie. God, you’d be dead meat if your mom found out you’d accidentally flooded the bathroom at 2am. After getting a rug to clean up your mess, you take a look at the mirror. Your swollen eyes had calmed down after being soaked with ice-cold water. You had as well.

Not ready to go back to the dark confines of your bedroom, you sat down on the closed toilet seat. Only now, do you realize what you were thinking about whilst zoned out. And, god, did it scare you. Your breathing got more ragged, shallow, and all your senses were heightened. You were home alone. 

Alone.

Again.

The vent was getting too loud, and the lights too bright. The bathroom mat beneath you more spiky than soft. Knives were running through your heart. Tears were threatening to fall, and you wanted to crawl out of your skin. Everything was getting so uncomfortable. You just wanted to shed like a snake and float away into the night; carried by the wind to faraway places. You needed something to ground you. Tell you that you’re okay. And by instinct, your feet led you to the kitchen phone. Dialing the oh-so-familiar digits that you knew by heart. You fidgeted with the phone cord, focusing on the swirly loops going through your fingers.

Doooot, doooot.

Doooot, doooot.

Click

A faint ruffle, then a sleep-dowsed voice spoke, “Hello…?”

You waited a few seconds to respond, processing the fact that Steve actually answered. You didn’t expect anyone to pick up at this time. Especially not him. A small whisper followed, meek and lined with unspoken apologies, “Hi.” “Y/n? Shit- Are… are you okay?” Steve could hear the sadness in your voice, the emptiness and longing for comfort. His heart broke a little at the thought of you going through this again. He knows about the many sleepless nights you go through, mind racing with terrible thoughts, “Wait, I- no- That was a stupid question, do you-” You panicked. Feeling bothersome because you had awoken Steve from his slumber; guilty knowing how much he needs it. “Uhm- I… Can you…” A deep breath in, “nevermind, I’m-sorry-I-woke-you-up-bye.” You spurt out quickly, putting the phone back without waiting for an answer and running back up the stairs. 

Back to your blanket pile of pathetic-ness. Because that’s what you are, right? Just a pile of pathetic-ness who always bothers those around them with their problems.

He probably hates you now. Called him up at 3am for nothing? You’re so needy. He can probably tell that you’re fucking obsessed with him. Your friendship will probably go downhill from here. And that's all your fault.             You stuffed your face into your pillow. Just wanting the night to end. The ticking from your clock is the only thing that can be heard, besides your breathing and the occasional night breeze. You sigh, and focus on the ticking sound to push any negative thoughts away. Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Ti– Plink!

… Plink!

Plink! You sprang up from your bed. That isn’t your clock ticking anymore. And it’s coming from the window. Cautiously, you grab the closest solid object near you, ready to chuck at whatever’s outside the glass. You swish your curtains aside and… Steve? Your brows furrow as you take him in; clad in plaid pajama pants and a gray pullover, backpack in his hand, pebbles in the other. He sighs in relief when your figure appears in the window. As soon as you hung up on him, he sprinted to his car, grabbing a few things along the way. He knew you were having another bad night, and it stung his heart—of which you hold—remembering how quiet and shaky your voice sounded. He yells as loud as he can at 3am, “Y/n! Can I come up?” Shock and confusion makes up your expression, blinking a few times before nodding and opening your window. Steve being Steve, he climbs up with ease, kicking off his shoes before engulfing you in a big, bear hug. Your face trembles, your emotions coming back to you all at once. He pulls back, grabbing his backpack and bringing out his maroon sweater to put on you. Oh, that sweater.

He knows how much you love it, despite actively denying it. Steve pulls you back into him, your head buried in his shoulder and you cry, “Shh, sweetheart. Let it all out, you’re not alone anymore… I’m here,” he mumbles into your hair, stroking your head comfortingly. His overwhelming affection made you cry even more, which made him hug you tighter.

A few minutes pass, and you’ve moved to your bed. Steve tidied your room up, taking dirty dishes downstairs, and swiftly coming back up with a glass of water, “Drink.” 

           When you’re done he places it on your bedside table, and cups your face in his hands, analyzing it, “What’s wrong? Or are you not ready to talk about it? I mean, that’s totally okay, we can just lay in bed or whatever.” You give him an appreciative, tight-lipped smile, and gesture to him to lay beside you. Your voice comes out a bit raspy as you thank him, “Steve… I don’t know how to explain to you how grateful I am for you to be such an amazing…” Sniff, “friend… Uhm– I don’t know what I’d do without you, honest.”

Steve smiles, and pulls you in for another hug; your head on his chest. He hopes you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating, and you hope he can’t feel yours, “‘Course poppet. Anything for you.” Your heart skips a beat at the innocent confession, he meant that in a platonic way—and you’re just emotionally vulnerable, right now… Right…? You push your feelings aside, which are probably deceiving you. You look up at him, but he’s already looking at you. You think you can see blush rise to his cheeks as he looks away embarrassed, you tease, “Like the view, Harrington?” Unconsciously, he squirms under your gaze and rolls his eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to be, like, sad right now?” Playfully, you sit up with a ‘humph’, and turn away. You steal the whole blanket from him, “Okay,” before inhaling and letting out a cry reminiscent of a toddler’s. “Literally shut up.” Steve laughed, grabbing you by your waist and tickling you. You jump from his touch, but he pulls you back just as fast. His fingers press harder, and it makes you laugh even louder. Giggles and snickers turned your once sorrowful room into a place of pure joy. No longer was it filled with a sense of loneliness, but a fuller, happier feeling of love. Silly, teenage love. 

As you both calm down, you feel warmth rise to your cheeks. Steve is redder than a tomato below you, at that you let out a small giggle. “What?” he asks, “Shit– my hair’s messed up isn’t it?” But that makes you laugh even more, which makes him laugh even more. You collapse into his chest, tired from all the emotions you’ve gone through tonight. 

A beat or two passes, the both of you enjoying each other’s presence in silence. It was never awkward when things died down after some banter. Your eyes grow heavy, and you nuzzle closer to Steve’s neck. Leaving soft butterfly kisses that have him growing warmer underneath you, “Thank you Steve. M’grateful to have someone like you…” You brush your lips against his skin; too short to be considered an actual kiss, but lingers long enough to cross the platonic-romantic border. As you fall into your body’s pleas for slumber, a confession of romance tumbles out. Quick, and casual; as if it's said on the regular, which it isn’t. At that, you both freeze. Steve processes your words in his head, “You… what?” You’re quick to put up your defenses, not willing to be hurt again tonight by your own, reckless actions, “Okay, I– Uhm-well-I… I meant that platonically…?” your voice goes up at the end, making you cringe internally at how fake that sounded, “Shit– sorry, it’s just that-”

Quick to interrupt, a confession of his own slips out, “I-love-you-too.” And Steve can see the wave of relief immediately sweeping away your tensed shoulders. You smile up at him, and kiss the corner of his mouth. As much as he tries to fight it, a huge smile appears on his face. Full of genuine elation and adoration. Steve pulls you closer, boops your nose with his, and pecks your lips.

Pulling away, he tsks, “Don’ be a coward, poppet.” Which is immediately met with a punch to his arm, and a peck back.

You throw your arm over his chest, and he pulls the blanket up. Signs of day tickle the sky; indigo, berry blues, a touch of vermillion, finished with a faint sprinkle of stars. Your clock reads 4 AM, but you don’t care. You aren’t going to wake up alone. And you certainly won’t be getting through each day by yourself.

Gone are the constant grounding exercises, and puffy, red eyes; sleepless nights, and negative self-lies. They’re replaced with love-filled hugs, and endless tickles. Feeling loved on bad days, and tissue-caught sniffles. It’s late diner dates, and shared milkshakes. Subtle gazes, and trips to the lake.

It’s finally summer.

❀  

© revised 2023 fikafika

#ೄྀ fifi's bookshop ! ˊˎ #steve harrington #best friend!steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #hurt/comfort #whump #??? i think #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction

[limpfisted]

So in dnd canon player characters CANT turn into devils. And in fact, if bg3 went by regular rules, wyll would just have been punished by having a few devil features

But the game INSISTS his soul was dragged thru hell and he's a devil now

Tbh this makes no sense bc he doesn't look like any of the many kinds of devils. He just has horns and a tiefling eye

But there are fun ways to play with wyll and being a devil regardless

As well as the fact that his "soul" is owned by a devil

So here's a quick round up of some of my own homebrew wyll is an actual devil now hcs

Wyll is naturally lawful good. As a devil, he is tempted ever more by violence and taking advantage of others, but also "deals." While wyll cannot make a contract himself, he is hungry and greedy for high emotional connection and intimate promises. His own charred, damaged, and sold soul longs to nibble and draw the energy off of others, almost vampirically.

He doesn't act on these feelings. It doesn't mean he doesn't have them. Wyll even before the transformation was a person about control and repression. He thought he could CHOOSE and take advantage of his powers with mizora, the tadpoles, etc. Ironically, it may be his transformation into a devil and the want to make "deals" that helps nudge him in the direction of wanting to deal with mizora more to get out of his contract

Physical symptoms

Devils are hot, devils are smelly. Wyll is not used to his own blood and heat and smell. Its overwhelming. He feels feverish near constantly, he's almost always slightly damp with sweat

The weight of his horns and the new positions he has to sleep in give him headaches, and muscle aches. Hes used to being sore, but this is a new extra level hes not used to

In general I have the hc that bc mizora had a grip on his soul---he felt an icy grip in his chest and stomach all the time that made him feel uncomfortably full all the time, sometimes to the point of nausea

Now he STILL has that, but now he also feels hungry all the time, in a way food can't fill

There's also in general mood swings

Wyll is a very clean person who takes great care of himself and the way he presents himself

As a transmasc person going thru a THIRD puberty of sorts, he is now even more methodical about his skin care routine. He hates how much he sweats and he hates how he smells and he hates that his teeth don't fit in his mouth and he has to practice saying all the pretty things he wants to say even more than he already does in his head

Also its a cop out he turns back into a human, thats boring, these changes are just Forever and he gets used to them

In general I think wyll is growing wings! For a fun treat. Over time, wyll will be able to develop his own powers as a devil. He doesn't have mizora, but also he doesn't need her. He has claws and fangs and can develop his own magic if he practices. He doesn't know how to, so this would be an extremely long process that would probably only take place in his blade of avernus path

Tho he doesn't realize it he is now also functionally immortal except if he is killed in Hell

Why would mizora do this to him, u ask. Give him all this power. Its clearly not just a punishment

Well he wasn't supposed to get out of his contract... it was just a sneak preview of his life when he died and got sent to the blood war. These past 7 years wyll HAS been fighting the blood war as one of zariels minions honestly. I dont think mizora or zariel ever thought he would legimately break his pact. And even if he did. Hes a 26 year old human with a good, good, self sacrificial heart who thinks he can take on any evil and HAS to. Hes easy to manipulate

And furthermore. I think zariel and mizora have been watching "the heart of baldurs gate" all his life just waiting to strike

There are ends for wyll where he's in a pact with a devil, and is a devil, and is the grand Duke of baldurs gate

Even if wyll ISNT the grand Duke of baldurs gate

His father talks about being hellstouched himself now! (A story for another time, he says)

Wylls Origin bio straight up says he's a pawn in a war he doesn't understand

Will we ever know the hells plans for wyll! No! But I doubt even getting out of his pact is as big a wrench in mizora and zariel's plans as we are led to believe. If mizora legit cared that wyll wasn't in a pact anymore. Why is she still fucking here. (Go away no one wants u here wench. But I digress.)

#my wyll also kind of glows with hellfire beneath the skin in the dark #fun times

[cheonsarchive]

Jay | Love Me Or Leave Me

Pairing: Jay x Fem!Reader

Genre: ANGST!!!! Hanahaki!AU (if you're unfamiliar, it will be explained throughout the story)

Featuring: Heeseung

Warnings: Graphic/triggering content! Mentions of blood, vomit, death, cursing, mentions of food

Summary: You loved Jay and he loved you, there was no doubt. So why were you suddenly coughing up flowers?

Word Count: 10,7k

Author's Note: Did I cry while writing this? Absolutely. But do I love writing and reading angst? Absolutely. It turned a bit darker than expected, my apologies. 🙃 There were a lot of things going on in my private life, some of which I am digesting through this oneshot.

The story was inspired by this tweet I saw a few months ago. I immediately wanted to write this scenario since I had a similar experience (without the Hanahaki of course), and this is the result. Despite it being sad, I hope you enjoy this still! I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️

Also, if you want to be tagged in future Enhypen scenarios, let me know!

Masterlist

Jay's phone had immaculate timing. The moment the credits of the movie you were watching began to roll, his phone started vibrating and the sound of his ringtone filled the room. It pulled you back to reality, as you were comfortably snuggled against your boyfriend, enjoying the movie in front of you. Jay shifted a bit, trying to reach his phone on the coffee table. Upon seeing the caller ID, he knew what was about to happen. He sighed and picked up, his manager on the other end. The call didn't last long, and once Jay hung up, he looked at you apologetically. You pouted slightly, knowing that he had to leave now.

It was usually like this. Jay was pretty busy with schedules, and you were glad whenever you could spend time with him. He also tried to make as much time for you as possible, which you appreciated. "It's okay," is what you told him. "Thanks for coming over at all, I know you were tired." He smiled at you, rubbing your sides soothingly. You stayed like this for a few more minutes before he whispered that he really had to leave now. You accompanied him to the door, and after he put on his shoes and jacket, he snaked his arms around you once again. He gave you quick peck on the lips and you smiled at him before he hesitantly peeled himself from you.

The moment the door fell into the lock, a piercing pain spread through your upper body. You were caught off guard by the sting in your chest, grabbing your shirt in response. After a few seconds it disappeared, and despite being confused, you decided to shake it off. You figured that you must have stood up too quickly after staying slouched on the couch for a while.

However, the pain in your chest decided to reappear a few days later. This time, it lasted longer and felt more intense, and you started to wonder if something was wrong with your health. It didn't help that you developed a cough shortly after too. You didn't think much of it at first, since it was getting colder and catching the flu around this time of year was common. It was weird that you only had the cough as a symptom, though. You checked for a fever several times, but the thermometer never showed a worrying number. And the cough grew more severe as days passed.

Jay took notice of it as well and asked if you were okay, but you simply waved him off by saying that it's just a normal cough and it will go away on its own. He looked concerned, since you rarely caught a cold or the flu, but he trusted you that if you felt really bad, you would go to the doctor.

And for a moment, you considered it after you had your worst coughing fit yet. It was the first time in your life that you coughed up blood, the first time that you felt like your lungs would collapse. It felt like a couple of heavy books were constantly being pressed on your breathing organs. You were scared that your condition might be more serious than you thought. And once you looked at the blood you had choked out, you made a weird discovery. A blue petal, soaked in your blood, lay in your hand.

Confusion was written over your features as you wondered when and how you managed to get a petal into your system. Maybe you accidentally swallowed it while taking a walk in the park? But there weren't any flowers blooming anymore, so where would that petal even come from? Maybe the petal graced one of the dishes you had at the fancy restaurant Jay invited you to yesterday? Maybe you ate them, and it turned out you were allergic to them? But you didn't remember any blue petals on your plate, and you also wondered if coughing blood was a justifiable allergic reaction to flowers. Still, you stuck with that option since it sounded the most plausible and you couldn't find a better explanation.

You soon realized that it couldn't have been flowers on a plate. Your coughing continued, and blood became its standard side effect. The next time you looked at the tissue you held in front of your mouth, you saw not one but three petals covered in blood. It freaked you out, since you had no idea where they came from. You wanted to go see a doctor, but you also felt embarrassed to do so. What would you tell them? That you were choking out petals? They would think you're insane.

Getting worried about your condition, you decided to consult Google, silently hoping it wouldn't spit out some kind of cancer you had never heard of before. What you found had you even more at a loss than before, though. The word that popped up when you typed out your symptoms was Hanahaki. Intrigued by how well the common Hanahaki symptoms matched with your current situation, you read through the causes. But when you found out that it was triggered by unrequited love, you froze.

Unrequited love? You were sure that wasn't the case, Jay and you have been happily dating for two years now, neither of you expressing discomfort in any way. He was treating you so lovingly, everyone around you said that he was completely whipped for life. And while you had your disagreements once in a while, you never had a big fight that wasn't resolved after. Jay wasn't the type to hold grudges and he was very straight-forward, so you would have known if something was bothering him.

Ultimately, you concluded that it must be something else. You scrolled through the web for what felt like hours, but everything you read led to Hanahaki. There was no other disease that had you cough up petals, even the Hanahaki blogs told you that this symptom was one-of-a-kind rare. You sat there motionless as you read through yet another page telling you that the person you love doesn't love you back which ultimately leads to your current condition. You grew frustrated, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you tried to convince yourself that it must be something else.

But the diagnosis was clear. You loved Jay, but Jay didn't seem to love you back. You couldn't digest this, since Jay was the sweetest person you knew and he cared for you more than for anyone else. At least, that's what you told yourself. You began questioning everything, every little fight or discussion that you had in the past months. You turned every stone in your relationship to find the cause of this, whether you did something wrong and he wasn't as easy to read as you thought. Whether there was any sign of unhappiness from his side.

Did he grow tired of you? Did you become too clingy? But why would he sacrifice every free minute he has to spend time with you if he doesn't feel comfortable? Both of you were very open about your feelings in your relationship, you trusted each other more than you trusted yourselves. So, he would have definitely told you if something was wrong, right? It just didn't make sense to you at all.

The way Jay and you started dating was pretty natural. You got to know each other through Heeseung, who was friends with both of you. Jay and you immediately clicked, spending hours talking on Heeseung's couch while the others were busy getting drunk at one of his parties. You became friends pretty quickly and grew closer over the months, ultimately catching feelings for each other. It did take you two a while to act on your feelings, it was one of those cliché 'everyone-knows-they-like-each-other-except-the-people-in-question' scenarios. You were scared that he wouldn't reciprocate your feelings and you regretted falling for him in the first place. But when he mustered up the courage to confess to you, your heart skipped a beat.

Jay and you shared many firsts with each other. He was the first one you went to a fancy restaurant with. He was the first boy you slept over at, the first person you shared intimate conversations with, the first person you made love with. The first person you fell in love with so deeply that you weren't sure if you could ever not love him. But what you didn't expect was that he might also be your last love.

You decided not to ask him about it. Call it denial, but the thought of Jay confessing to you that he fell out of love would shred your heart into a million pieces. You tried to convince yourself that he did love you and you had a disease different from Hanahaki but with similar symptoms. Maybe it wasn't discovered yet? You hoped this was the case, because the thought of Jay playing pretend would kill you, if your disease won't do the job.

You were surprised at how good you were at keeping your state a secret from Jay. You tried your best to hide the coughing as much as possible, especially the blood and petal part. It turned out to be the most difficult thing to do, since your chest ached every time Jay was coming over. You had to squeeze out every ounce of self-control you had to not break out into a coughing fit in front of him. And to your surprise, it worked out. But what shocked you was how oblivious Jay was to your well-being. You wondered if you were really that good at pretending or if he didn't care as much as you would have liked. That ultimately made your worries grow more.

It was confusing to say the least. Jay didn't seem distant at all, he still came over as much as he could, he took you out on a date (which proved once more that you had the biggest self-control on the planet), he even slept over once. That night, you had to pretend to take a shower and cough as silently as you could so he wouldn't notice. Yet he didn't suspect a thing. If he was treating you like any other day, why wasn't he catching up at all?

After a while, your coughing got up to a point where you had to cancel Jay because you weren't feeling well. You started lying even more to him by saying that you had an extremely rough day at work and you wanted to be alone. That was the first time suspicion sparked in Jay. Especially when you had a bad day, you needed nothing more than to lie in his arms, so why are you preferring to be alone now? It turned out to be the wrong decision anyway, since you felt like your chest was aching even more because he wasn't there and you started missing him. You really couldn't win in this situation.

You made a plan to unlove Jay Park. It would be hard, you knew that, but it was your only chance. You needed to grow distant from him as much as possible, since you didn't know how much time you had left. The coughing was becoming more and more frequent and you almost held full flowers in your hand after each outburst. Panic arose every time you counted more petals or saw a full flower in the sink or bathtub. You needed to push him away, it was the only possible way to save yourself.

Truth is, it was impossible. You loved Jay, you realized that once more now. You couldn't just break up with him, that would make your heart shatter into even more pieces. You were heartbroken from the fact that you were in a relationship where only one person loved the other, but you also couldn't cut the strings. In your frustration, you consulted the internet once again to see if there was another option.

Then you remembered there was. A surgery. People with Hanahaki could get the flowers blooming in their chest removed. However, it was a dangerous surgery and would cost all memories of the person one loved. You wouldn't remember anything about Jay. And you wanted to remember everything. Even though you wouldn't know what had happened, you couldn't wrap your mind around the scenario that you would remove Jay completely from your life and memory. You shared so many beautiful moments, so many firsts, so many hardships. There was no way you were going to remove all of that. So, you needed to come up with a story to justify your sudden death to a clueless Jay. And you needed to come up with it fast.

Heeseung became wary when he stood in front of your door and you weren't opening it. He had heard from Jay that you were a bit distant lately, so he decided to check on you since Jay wanted to give you the space you needed. And at this point, you were thankful, since it was difficult keeping your act up in front of him.

You heard the doorbell ring just as you finished choking out another windflower. You realized now that it was windflowers all along, Jay's favorite flowers. You've read about it, the flowers are oftentimes the favorites of your unrequited love. That was yet another piece of evidence that what the internet said was true. Tears were welling up in your eyes, but when you heard the doorbell ring once more, you were shaken out of your thoughts. You quickly wiped your mouth and checked your clothes for any blood stains, but you got lucky this time.

You didn't know who was showing up at your apartment without an invitation, and you got scared that it was Jay. You contemplated opening the door and got startled when the person on the other side began to knock urgently now. The moment you heard the mysterious person's voice, you felt relieved. "Y/N, it's me Heeseung. Are you there?"

Without a second thought you turned the knob and swung the door open, revealing a surprised Heeseung. "Thank God, I thought you were dead." Close Heeseung, close. You explained that you were under the shower and didn't hear the doorbell, but once your eyes glanced over to the bag in his hand, your attention was elsewhere. He followed your gaze and smiled, lifting his hand to show the bag to you.

"I brought your favorite snacks." he announced proudly, and for the first time in forever, a genuine smile spread across your lips. Heeseung was random like this. You wouldn't hear from him for a while, and then he would suddenly show up in front of your apartment, snacks in hand and ready to spend time with you. You enjoyed afternoons like this with him, but the timing wasn't the best right now.

You grabbed the bag from his hand and walked over to the kitchen, Heeseung trailing along. He stood next to you when you started unpacking, eyes sparkling as you were met with your favorite instant ramen, a triangle kimbap and soda. It's when Heeseung suddenly noticed something on your face that your attention shifts towards him.

"Is that blood on your cheek?" You froze instantly when you heard him. Damn it, you should have taken a look in the mirror before letting him in. In your hurry, you hastily wiped your face without checking if there were any leftovers. You mentally facepalmed yourself, you did a perfect job in deceiving Jay, so why did you suddenly let your guard down in front of Heeseung?

Panicking, you searched for the best excuse you could find without taking too long to answer. "What? Oh, that's just lipstick." you tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. But Heeseung didn't buy it.

"You never wear red lipstick." He pointed out. Damn it. You chuckled awkwardly, "Yeah, but I wanted to try it out. Didn't like it though." You quickly tried to change the topic by asking which soda he wanted to drink and while he had a suspicious look on his face, he dropped it after a while and played along.

Shit. You really needed to be careful now. Heeseung was usually the type to nag until you cave in, but you couldn't do that this time. If Jay doesn't know, then neither shall Heeseung. Sweat was forming on your forehead due to nervousness, and you were scared that your secret might be revealed.

Fate had other plans laid out for you, though, being cruel like that. You had been extremely careful around food and tried not to eat too fast in fear of accidentally choking on it. Your eating speed had decreased drastically and you hoped no one would notice. Jay never mentioned it, but you were sure it was obvious. However, your mind was racing and you couldn't help but chug down as many noodles as could fit in your mouth to calm yourself down. Yet it only resulted in you choking on them.

And there it goes. You lost control again, your coughs coming out in a series of strained choking noises. Heeseung was bewildered by your sudden reaction and he couldn't process the way you jolted up from your seat and dashed to the kitchen to hold your head above the sink. You tried your best to stop coughing but it was to no avail. Heeseung was by your side in an instant, a look and color on his face that suggested that every ounce of life has left him. He looked almost as pale as you and when he saw the blood you were losing through your mouth, he panicked.

"Y/N what is going on?!" he demanded to know, trying to hit your back to help you but it just made things worse. You slapped his hand away when you made a sound close to vomiting, a blue flower dropping into the puddle of blood in the sink. You coughed out some more petals before being able to catch your breath again, groaning in pain. You tried to register what just happened. Heeseung saw. He knows about your suffering now.

You turned your head ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of him. His eyes were wide, focusing on the flower in the sink and trying to process what you just spat out. The way you basically saw the wheels turning in his head gave it away that he didn't know about Hanahaki either. His gaze flickered over to you, his eyes just as wide as before.

"What just happened? Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. He had never seen someone cough out a flower before and it was horrifying to him. And when he heard a weak laugh as a response, he was even more confused.

"Do I look okay?" you bit back at him, half-annoyed at this point. Even though you tried to hide your illness, the fact that nobody caught on on their own disappointed you. Were they really that dense, or were you just an incredible actress?

He was speechless again. His mind was yelling at him to pinch himself because this might be a dream after all. Oh, how you wished it was. He shifted his weight a bit, scared to push you to answer more after you snapped like that. When you turned around and let yourself slide to the ground in exhaustion, he was quick to follow you.

He searched for eye contact desperately, and you granted it to him after a few seconds. You shouldn't have. The way he looked at you, guilt rushed through you because you didn't tell anyone about this. But how could you spread information like that if it would make Jay look like a complete douchebag? Even in miserable moments like this you put Jay and his reputation first.

"I don't understand, please explain to me. You look way too relaxed for my liking. Has this happened before?" Heeseung said in a low voice just above a whisper. Relaxed? Not really. Used to it by now? Yeah. You took a deep breath, one that made your stomach turn. Trying to blink away the tears that were forming in your eyes, you organized your thoughts before speaking up again.

"Ever heard of Hanahaki before?" Heeseung shook his head slightly. But at least your condition had a name now. You nodded understandingly, since you were similarly clueless about this disease before you got it yourself. "It's a disease where you cough up flowers. Until you die."

You didn't think it was possible, but Heeseung's skin lost even more color upon hearing the word 'die.' He wanted to doubt you, since you had a terrible sense of humor like that, but you didn't seem in the mood to joke around. Especially after he had legit witnessed you vomiting flowers into the sink.

"How did you get it?" he asked, curiosity sparked on how you contract such an odd condition. You smiled bitterly, staring blankly in front of you. Tears were welling up in your eyes vigorously once the cause crossed your mind again. You tried to stop them, but it was difficult. You were so drained that any effort to keep it together seemed to be useless by now. Trying not to choke on the knot forming in your throat, you said, "because of unrequited love." 

That was the first time Heeseung had a different expression than shock. His brows furrowed in disbelief. Unrequited love? He didn't know why his mind took him there and he also didn't know why his mouth began to utter his thoughts, but he regretted it right after asking, "Do you love someone else but Jay?"

You wanted to scoff, you really did. You also wanted to punch him for even thinking that. But you couldn't really blame him, all he knew is that you were being distant towards Jay. Might have been because you fell in love with someone else. But you rendered that completely impossible to begin with.

"Don't be ridiculous," you simply stated, "how could I love someone else but Jay?" Heeseung knew that it was stupid of him to frame you like that, but he didn't understand how you could possibly develop a condition like that. "But I don't get it. Jay loves you." he said more to himself than to you directly.

"Apparently not." you said, bitterness glazing your voice. As stupid as it sounds, it gave you comfort that Heeseung was just as confused about it as you. You refrained from telling him because he might know something about Jay's feelings for you that you didn't. It might have not been all too surprising for him considering Jay had told him already that he was falling out of love with you. But you had never seen such genuine concern, fear and confusion on your friend's face, and it gave you hope that your relationship with Jay appeared actually as beautiful to others as you rendered it.

"Did he tell you he doesn't love you anymore? He never mentioned it before. This comes out of nowhere to me, since he seemed happy with his life and with you. Has he lied to me when he told me he is excited to see you again?" Heeseung started to ramble uncontrollably, as if his mind and his mouth were connected without a filter. Only the exhausted gaze in your eyes made him stop.

"Of course he hasn't. Otherwise, we would have broken up and I could try and fix my broken heart. But the way it is now is obviously not working. He treats me like nothing is wrong when in reality, everything is wrong right now." you began to overshare, but at this point you failed to care. Heeseung has seen way too much anyway and he was the one who knew most about Jay and your relationship since he is close to both of you. You had asked for his opinion whenever you had a more serious argument with Jay, you trusted him that much. And you began to think that it might have been easier talking to him from the beginning.

"Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you." Heeseung reasoned and you couldn't hold back the little chuckle escaping your lips.

"Yeah well, he obviously failed." you said, almost making it sound lighthearted, like a simple joke. You looked at Heeseung again, and sadly, he didn't find it as funny as you. Instead, he prompted another question.

"Isn't there any way to fix this? To heal you?" he sounded so sincere that it made you heart ache thinking about the fact that Heeseung was scared to lose you. Was scared that there was no way out for you. Little did he know, there wasn't, at least not for you. You still decided to tell him about the only other option left apart from dying, he would find out about it online anyway if he wanted.

"There is a surgery that could save me. The doctors would remove the flower blooming in my chest, but with its removal, I would lose every feeling and memory of Jay." you explained to him, and to your despair, he didn't seem to see a problem with that.

"Then why aren't you getting this surgery?" he pressed, wondering how you could hold memories dearer than your own life. Maybe it was because he wasn't in love at the moment, he wouldn't understand. And you decided not to snap at him about such tasteless words.

"Are you serious? I'm still in my right mind not to just throw away my feelings and memories of the most important person in my life. As if I could live with that decision." you argued, shaking your head in disbelief.

Heeseung wasn't as easily fazed by your explanation. He tried everything to help you survive. He understood that you held Jay dearly and that it wasn't an easy decision to make, but if that was the only option for you now, you really had to consider it.

"But you wouldn't even remember that decision, would you? I can't just let you choose death when there is the option to live instead." You sighed.

"And have Jay live with the consequences of that decision instead? He would remember everything and I would just cut him off like that. I'm not going to do that to him." you felt yourself getting angry, and Heeseung sensed a shift in your mood as well. It told him that you made up your mind and no matter how much he tried to argue with you, it wouldn't lead anywhere.

While he partly understood your point, it would end up the same if you died. Jay would be left with the knowledge that you chose death rather than forgetting him, that you died because of him. That is a guilt he would struggle with forever, Heeseung was sure of it. No matter how you decide to approach this, it would end up with Jay suffering and either you oblivious to it or dead. And while death wasn't an option for him, it certainly was for you.

Silence filled the room and you took that as a sign that Heeseung understood. You spared a glance at him. He looked seriously concerned for you. The way he bit his lip, you knew he was contemplating to ask another question, so you urged him to spit it out.

"How long has this been going on for?" he asked calmly, as if his adrenaline had stabilized again now that you had calmed down as well. You despised that question though, since it was embarrassing to admit. You looked down into your lap, fiddling with your fingers while considering if you should tell him one more lie. No, Y/N. No more lies, you told yourself.

"Three months." Heeseung almost choked on his saliva, and it triggered the itching in your chest. His eyes were blown wide once again. "Three months?!" he repeated as if to confirm. When you didn't budge, he searched the room for an explanation. "We saw each other like four times the past three months, what the hell?" he questioned in disbelief. You just shrugged.

"Guess I should have launched my acting career instead of studying psychology." you joked. "You really should have." Heeseung confirmed, jumping onto your joke but also coating it in enough sarcasm. You still felt a small smile spread on your face. At least you haven't lost your humor completely.

The lightheartedness in the air was cut when a sudden thought popped up in your mind. You looked at Heeseung with an urgency that scared him. The fact that you even went so far as to take his hands made panic rise all the more in his blood.

"You cannot tell Jay." you said firmly, letting Heeseung know that you were dead serious this time. He just looked at you in bewilderment. Letting go of your hands in his, he says, "Are you kidding me? Of course I am telling him. He is breaking your heart, hell, he is fucking killing you Y/N! We- I need to tell him!" he tried to justify, but you didn't bother how passionate he was being about it, you shook your head.

You felt the first tear escaping, the thick drop of saltiness running down your cheek dramatically. Heeseung looked at you desperately, and he couldn't help but fight tears as well. You brought your hand up to his cheek to comfort him, as if he was worse off than you. His lips started to tremble and a shaky breath escaped his lips. The emotions you experienced during your conversation with Heeseung felt like an absolute rollercoaster and you wanted it to stop.

"Please don't tell Jay. I'd rather live my last days pretending to be happy with him than being even more heartbroken by a break-up and his reaction. Let me pretend to be loved for a little longer, please." you choked out, completely sobbing at this point. You could see how your state completely broke Heeseung and without a second thought, he pulled you into a hug in hopes of providing just a little bit of comfort.

You uncontrollably sobbed into his chest, and surprisingly enough your coughs weren't threatening to show this time but decided to give you a break to cry. As if you haven't done that enough the past few days. The amount of ice you had to put under your eyes to decrease the puffiness was insane.

Even though you felt relieved that someone finally knew and there was one person less in front of which you had to pretend that you were fine, the way Heeseung tried to talk you out of basically killing yourself was an excruciating pain. You only dealt with that choice yourself and now that you voiced your arguments to someone for the first time, you didn't know how to deal with it.

Heeseung thought it was incredibly selfish of you to leave Jay in the dark of all this, and he needed to know Jay's opinion on it because he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that he didn't love you anymore. He wanted to confront him, to yell at him for how his behavior has made you feel, but he couldn't bring himself to do it after seeing you break down like this. He also related to your point. You were in enough pain as is, so you tried to avoid any additional struggle. Seeing how confident you were about your choice, he made his decision.

"Okay. I'm not going to tell him."

Heeseung really tried not to tell Jay. He really did. But the more days passed, the more his guilt pushed him to letting his best friend know what he did to you. He tried to squeeze information out of Jay, looking for any signs that Jay actually secretly knows what's going on with you, but he really didn't have a clue. Heeseung tried his best not to be suspicious and faked concern for the fact that you distanced yourself from Jay when he knew exactly why.

Heeseung checked up on you every single day after you let him in on your secret. One call a day was obligatory and he also visited your apartment every other day to help you clean up the blood and petals or try and distract you from the pain to the best of his ability. But the more time passed and the more he noticed your condition getting gradually worse, his patience vanished.

He shouldn't have stood in front of Jay's apartment right now. He shouldn't have raised his arm to press the doorbell. Yet something inside him urged him to do it regardless of his mind fighting it. When he heard Jay approaching the door, Heeseung panicked. No, he promised he wouldn't tell Jay. He had to come up with a different excuse on why he just decided to barge into Jay's apartment.

Certain that he had a fake story to tell, Jay opening the door made Heeseung's plan fly out the window. He just stood in front of Jay, completely zoned out as his mind was running laps. Jay gave him a concerned look.

"Hyung?" Jay asked in a surprised yet questionable tone.

"Can I come in?" was all Heeseung could come up with, and Jay moving to the side was the sign that Heeseung should step inside.

His mind was racing, he still fought the urge to tell Jay about Hanahaki. In fact, the moment he got home after learning about it for the first time from you, he did his own research. As you concluded, he would get all the information he needed anyway. Heeseung was hoping you had missed or left out a crucial detail about the disease. He tried to find a loophole, but he wasn't successful.

He only learned about the flower often being the loved one's favorite. The next time he was over and helped you clean your sink, he noticed that you were indeed choking up windflowers. It made his own chest ache, because just like you he tried to tell himself that the condition might be something else all along. But everything pointed to the fact that Jay didn't love you and was too ignorant to tell anyone.

The thought made Heeseung clench his fists until his knuckles turned white from the pressure. It made him angry that this whole situation was unresolved and while he somehow wasn't in the position to step in, he couldn't help himself.

So when Jay asked, "Is everything okay?" Heeseung already knew what to answer.

"Do you love Y/N?"

Jay was taken aback by Heeseung's bluntness. He had never questioned Jay's intentions, especially not with you. So why was he suddenly asking him such a private question?

"What?" was all Jay could answer in disbelief.

"Do. you love. Y/N." Heeseung repeated, this time slower as if Jay failed to hear the question correctly. He grew more impatient the more Jay wavered, but the latter was confused about Heeseung's behavior. He had never experienced his friend like that, storming into his apartment only to drop such a question.

"Of course I do. What is wrong with you?" Jay said in a slightly annoyed tone. If there was one thing he hated, it was people questioning him like that.

Jay was honest and straight-forward, he rendered that one of the most important character traits in people and the ones he was the most proud about. So it was his absolute pet peeve when people distrusted him. Especially those who have known him long enough, like Heeseung.

But Heeseung was sure that Jay had just lied to him. He was hiding something, but the urgency of the situation made Heeseung press once again.

"Are you sure?" he challenged and Jay grew visibly irritated at the persistence of his friend.

"Dude, seriously. What is your fucking problem? I love Y/N, and you know that." Jay spat at his friend, his patience on the line. But so was Heeseung's. The older boy just scoffed, as if mocking Jay. He couldn't help but wrap the next statement in the most venomous tone Heeseung had ever mustered.

"Yeah? Then why is she coughing up flowers because of you?"

All the anger that was present in Jay's face vanished once Heeseung finished his question. He was confused once again. He studied Heeseung's face, looking for any sign that he was drunk or high. They rarely drank and Heeseung didn't take any drugs, not even weed, but who knows what happened to him prior to this. Jay's friend was stone-cold sober though, and he could tell. Heeseung rarely got angry, but when he did, it was serious. But what he had just said to Jay didn't make sense at all.

"She is what?"

"Hanahaki, Jay. The disease where you cough up flowers because of unrequited love." Heeseung stated in a cold tone. He really expected Jay to know that he isn't in love with you anymore and decided not to tell anyone because he felt ashamed. But the fact that Jay was so confused caught Heeseung off guard too. Shouldn't you know when you love someone or not?

Apparently not. Jay couldn't believe his ears. You were choking on flowers? Because of him? Because he didn't love you? He stood there motionless, trying to decipher the information Heeseung had sprinkled on him.

Realization. Heeseung was right. But Jay had no idea. He had admired you ever since he laid eyes on you for the first time, and his crush only grew stronger after finding out how knowledgeable, funny and sincere you were. He was sure that he fell faster for you than you for him, and the giddy feeling inside him lasted for months on end.

But after one and a half years, they died down. Jay didn't think much of it at all, he just thought that the lovey-dovey phase of your relationship was over and it settled into a more comfortable one. Jay always thought that it's normal that you aren't as head over heels as you were on day one after a while. That there weren't that many firsts to share anymore. He thought it's normal that one matures and the feelings calm down a bit. That's what his father had told him as well.

And he definitely adored you to this day. You were such an important person to him, someone he could lean on and talk to about all his daily struggles. He still had a deep admiration for you. But it wasn't love.

And he didn't even realize. He concluded that being in love means settling after a while, it means feeling comfortable around and adoring a person, but it may not feel like the beginning of a relationship. He never had ill intentions, he wanted you in his life. He just never realized that the feelings he held for you weren't exactly love, even though he thought they were.

But your disease was painful evidence that it wasn't deep love anymore. And when this weight crashed down on him, he felt like he was pulled under water without any chance to breathe.

Jay had heard of Hanahaki before, but he wasn't sure if it was a real disease or a made up one. It's like those instances where you don't know if it was real or a dream. Now that he had proof that it was real, he got scared.

Heeseung's anger was gradually replaced by nervousness due to Jay's lack of a response. He could see Jay was contemplating something, but he had been quiet for quite a while now and it drove Heeseung up the wall. He just told his best friend that his significant other is dying because of him, yet there is no response.

Truth be told, Jay didn't know what to say. He felt guilt wash over him instantly, not even because of your disease, but because he mistook comfort and adoration for love. It's like he betrayed not only you but himself as well by thinking he loves you when in reality he wasn't. The fact that you caught a deadly disease because of it only made matters worse.

The moment Jay looked at Heeseung, the older one knew that Jay realized that he had fucked up. He had fucked up bad. The look on Jay's face told Heeseung once and for all that he had told only the truth. And it was breaking his heart even more, because Jay was oblivious to his own shift in feelings. Heeseung never had a deep-rooted relationship like yours, so he couldn't relate to the situation or judge if you notice when you fall out of love.

But nevertheless, he felt sorry. He was in the middle of a completely fucked up situation. You were coughing flowers because your boyfriend didn't love you, and the boyfriend in question didn't even know it until now. Heeseung was the one to break the news to Jay too, so he felt even worse for causing both of you more pain than necessary.

He started to regret talking to Jay at all. The look on his face was enough to tell Heeseung that he should turn back time to before he entered the younger one's apartment. He should have kept his mouth shut, but he just couldn't. Not if every day felt like your last to you. Jay deserved to know the truth, both about your condition and his feelings (or lack thereof) being the cause of that.

The emotions Jay felt were indescribable. He had never felt more culpable in his life. You were suffering, because of him. You were dying, because of him. Dying. No, that can't happen.

Jay had a look of desperation decorate his features when he suddenly asked "Is there nothing I can do? There must be a way to save Y/N."

Wow, the words came out more broken than he had expected. It was only when he heard himself choke that he noticed the tears welling up in his eyes. Jay rarely cried.

Heeseung hesitated, especially since knowing you had made your choice. But it was to no avail, Jay would find out one way or another. He sighed, his gaze dropping to his feet. "There is the possibility of a surgery. It's quite risky though, and if successful, she will not remember you. Like, at all."

"But- I don't want that." Jay blurted without thinking. It was incredibly selfish of him and he knew it, but he wanted to stay in your life no matter what. He wanted you to remember him too. You shared so many memories that he wouldn't want to take away from you, just because he was too stupid to love you. So this wasn't an option for him. Little did he know, you had the same opinion.

Heeseung scoffed in disbelief. You guys really were made for each other, he thought bitterly. "Well, she doesn't want that either. The other option is that you love her." But it was easier said than done. How do you purposefully fall in love with someone? If Jay could, he definitely would, and Heeseung knew that. You can't decide for your heart, that was the painful part.

"Heeseung, please. I mean it. What other options are there?"

"There are none, Jay." Heeseung retorted quickly, slightly annoyed that Jay really thought there were several options to begin with. The opportunity of getting a life-saving surgery should be gift enough to everyone involved. Jay realized that too.

"She has to get the surgery." He concluded. Heeseung rolled his eyes, but was dumbfounded when he saw Jay slipping inside his shoes and grabbing his keys.

"What are you doing?" He asked, hoping Jay wouldn't answer what he was about to.

"I'm going to Y/N." Heeseung wanted to facepalm.

"You think that's a good idea right now? After she obviously distanced herself from you?" He said as he grabbed Jay's arm forcefully, trying to make him reconsider his next steps. Jay was frustrated, to say the least.

"Heeseung, I don't know what to do, okay?! You basically told me that Y/N is dying, because of me! How am I supposed to react!" He exploded, obviously helpless. The room was drowned in despair and anger. Jay was angry, not at Heeseung for telling him, not at you for not telling him. He was angry at himself. How could he be so blind? He wanted to know all the details, but he was afraid the answers would shatter his heart even more. He wanted to see you, to apologize for being so stupid, to tell you it's going to be okay when it might not, but he didn't know if that was the right move.

Heeseung sighed. He knew that telling Jay would ultimately result in Jay wanting to see you immediately. He couldn't blame him. So he silently agreed to go over to your apartment.

'This is it', you thought. This would be your last coughing fit, your relief. You could finally be at peace, because the flower that was stuck in your throat was suffocating you. And while this wasn't the first time you felt this way, you hoped it would be your last. You were completely drained. No matter how much effort Heeseung put into making you feel better, there was no escaping reality.

You had already told Heeseung what he should tell Jay when you suddenly passed. A sudden heart attack sounded like the most plausible option. There were numerous people who just dropped dead on the spot, so it wouldn't be weird if the same happened to you, right?

Wrong. You were oblivious to the fact that Heeseung had told a different version to Jay already. That version being the truth. And when you heard the key turn in the lock and the door swinging open, your worst fear became reality. Because the only person who had a key to your apartment was your boyfriend.

You panicked, trying to collect your limbs so you could crawl to the door and lock yourself inside the bathroom. But you were too weak, not even the rush of adrenaline helping you to reach the door handle. Before you could even stretch out your arm to grab it, Jay was standing in the doorframe. You had never seen him so distressed, and you didn't need to catch a glimpse of Heeseung behind him to know that he had told Jay.

Fuck. You weren't ready for this conversation at all. You hoped you would die before Jay found out, and you cursed the universe for not letting you have that at least. No idea how to react, you smiled weakly.

"Hi, Jay."

The pain in his eyes was something you hoped you'd never have to see. And now you knew why. It totally wrecked you.

"Y/N..." he said, swallowing thickly. He internally hoped this was all a joke that Heeseung thought was incredibly funny when it wasn't. But laying eyes on your weak figure was a painful reminder what he had done to you without even knowing. Within the few weeks that he hadn't seen you, you had lost an insane amount of weight, looking like a corpse almost. Heeseung had prepared Jay for the worst, because he couldn't get you to gain weight even when forcing food down your esophagus. Due to the whole blood and sometimes vomit, you were constantly dehydrated, your skin looking as dry as your throat felt.

He dropped down on his knees, taking your cold face into his hands. You only realized then that you were already crying. And he was too.

"God, Y/N. I can't tell you how sorry I am." He choked out between sobs. But you didn't want his apologies. You wanted an explanation. Because seeing him like this made you not sad, but mainly angry. You expected this kind of reaction, but you found it unfair. He was the one who is responsible, and you still believed he knew but didn't tell you. Something that made your blood boil, because you felt betrayed by him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you said, voice sounding stronger and more accusing than you had expected. Jay's head dropped in shame.

"I didn't know myself. Please believe me. You're still one of the most important people in my life, I just-"

"You just don't love me anymore." you interrupted him bitterly.

He still wished that wasn't the truth. It made his head spin. But his mission was to save you.

Heeseung had already explained to him in the car that you were strictly against getting the surgery for several reasons, but Jay hoped he could change your mind in the end. It would hurt him, yes. It would hurt like hell. But he was willing to live with the pain if it meant saving you.

"Y/N, listen to me. You have to get the surgery." he said in the most desperate tone you had ever heard from him. Even though he was firmly holding your face in his hands, you managed to shake your head weakly. His shoulders dropped and he pressed once more how you need to save your own life.

"No. How could I do that, knowing that you will remember me and I won't know you anymore?" You tried to reason, but Jay's stern face couldn't crumble under such talk. He was determined to change your mind.

"I can live with it. I will cherish our memories knowing that you got a second chance at life." he tried not to sob while arguing but he couldn't keep his tears in as they freely ran down his cheek, mirroring your own.

"But I don't want to forget you." you confessed, sounding absolutely miserable. But Jay didn't care, and neither did you. Truth was, you were miserable. The blood stains on the floor and in the sink and the dried petals that you forgot to scrub off served as enough evidence.

"Y/N, please. You can't die on me like that. Please. Do it for me?"

"No offense, Jay. But you're not really in the position to ask something from me."

Damn, that hurt. The fact that you managed to say that with a slight chuckle despite the way you looked and felt right now blew your mind. You dreaded this conversation and you told yourself that if it had to take place, you had to stay strong. You knew your stance, and so did he.

"I know, I'm so sorry. But you need to give yourself another chance. If not for me, do it for yourself. Don't put my feelings first, I'm not worth it. Please." he practically begged, not knowing how he could convince you when he knew you always put others first. And he hated that trait about you just now. He wished that you could put yourself first, at least this one time.

You mustered a smile again. He knew what that meant.

"I love you, Jay."

He wanted to say these three words back so bad. But he knew they wouldn't reflect the truth. It would just be a blatant lie, and he didn't want to lie anymore. Neither knowingly nor unknowingly.

Your words hurt like bullets, and he realized that you had made your decision. No matter how hard he tried, you wouldn't budge. Jay had argued several times with you and he knew how strong-willed you were. Just like Heeseung told him beforehand, he could sense that you were settled.

He couldn't help but choke, pulling your small frame into his arms. Jay felt how skinny you became and how your hair was dry and breaking off. He wished it was anything but a disease where he is at fault. Any disease would be painful, but knowing that he was behind all this had his heart drop to his stomach.

"I know I'm not in the position to, but let me ask one more thing from you. Go to the hospital. Let them give you painkillers at least." he whispered into your hair.

Tired of arguing with him, you just whispered a small "Okay." back.

What you hoped would be the end turned out to just be the beginning. You kept your promise and let Jay drive you to the hospital the next day. The doctors were surprised at how late you went to see them and how advanced your disease had already gotten. The perplexed face of the doctor when you said that you don't want to get the surgery instantly made you insecure, and his gaze towards Jay made heat rise to your cheeks.

Jay visited you every day in the hospital. He promised he would check up on you now that he knows, that it's the least he could do for you. But it got hard sometimes. He really had to force himself to see you like this. To know he's the cause of your suffering. To know that every day could be your last.

At least the painkillers were helping you. Even if you initially regretted agreeing to Jay taking you to the hospital, you were thankful that it made things a bit easier. Well, on the physical pain part, at least. The fact that Jay came by every single day to see you and the look on his face made your stomach churn. You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to leave, though. He insisted on staying by your side in a miserable attempt to make up for all the months he couldn't. You didn't dare bring up that it might be better for both of you to be separated now. Because deep down inside, the hopeless romantic in you still longed for him.

Initially, you were mad at him. You tried to hate him, to fall out of love with him. But after weeks of trying, you realized that you just couldn't. What your heart wanted was out of your control. And that's why you couldn't be mad at him, because what his heart wanted was also out of his control. The only thing you could possibly be mad for was his ignorance, that he didn't even suspect anything like this. The thing is, your body and mind were too weak to build up anymore anger. You felt quite empty.

It was like the lack of your emotions were the counterpart to the overflow of emotions Jay was confronted with. He tried his best to contain them, but on this particular day, it got too much for him. You were talking mindlessly about random things, your voice croaky and weak, and the topic suddenly shifted to some memories of your relationship. You tried to make it lighthearted, but it ached knowing it will never be like this again.

On one of your first dates, Jay took you on a little road trip through the city, stopping by different places to go shopping, grab something to eat or take in the scenery. At the end, you reached a park, the trees still decorated with lanterns from a recent festival. The whole evening felt like a romance movie, and you remember the day so precisely because it was when Jay finally caved in on his feelings and confessed just how much he likes you. Through small actions and faint words he had already mentioned it before, but at that moment, with your cheek in his hand, he poured his heart out to you for the first time. And so did you.

"Jay?" you called out so quietly that he almost didn't catch it.

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my cheek like in that moment. Please?" you whispered, and you swear you could see something break inside him. He looked at his hands as if he was contemplating whether to reach out or not. He fidgeted a bit and when you saw a tear fall, you knew you had overstepped the line.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I just can't." he said, instantly rising to his seat and leaving the room. You could only watch and were surprised that your heart could break even more than it already did.

Oh, and Jay regretted it. The next day, he was determined to apologize to you, to tell you that he will do anything you want from him, even if it is leaving. He felt terrible for leaving you like this, when he was the reason you were in this situation in the first place.

But the moment the elevator doors opened, a weird feeling overcame him. Something wasn't right.

And it turned out to be a justified hunch. He stepped into the corridor, on the way to your room, when a nurse suddenly appeared in front of him. The look in her eyes told him everything, yet she chose to verbalize it.

"Are you here for Y/L/N Y/N?" Jay nodded. The nurse sighed.

"I am incredibly sorry, but Y/N has passed away a few hours ago."

What kind of metaphor would do Jay's feelings at that moment justice? A spear to the heart? A bullet to the head? A fire burning up his entire body? A feeling of drowning?

He couldn't tell. And it didn't matter. What mattered is that he was too late. He wanted to make things right, even just a little bit, and he couldn't even do that. He had to calm himself in order to not explode in front of the nurse, to leave the walls untouched without holes from his punching, to leave the floor clean of his tears. All he could do was nod. And regret that his last time seeing you breathing, if just barely, ended like this.

The nurse asked him a few more questions on who to contact to inform them about your death. Jay absentmindedly muttered the names of your close family members and how she should tell them it was a heart attack, his mind everywhere but in the hospital right now. Everything was a blur. He didn't even notice the nurse in front of him disappearing after telling him he can go home.

The only thing that brought him back to reality was a tug at his sleeve. He turned his head, seeing another nurse on his side.

"Are you Park Jongseong?" she asked, concern written over her features. How long did Jay just stand there?

"Yes, I am." he said while clearing his throat, voice more stable than he expected.

"I am sorry for your loss. But Mrs. Y/L/N asked me to give this to you." She handed Jay an envelope with 'to Jay' written on its back. He thanked her while studying the envelope. You wrote him a letter?

Jay needed to take a moment to process everything. He sat down on a nearby chair, fiddling with the letter as if to confirm that it was indeed real and not part of his imagination. And the inside of it made him incredibly nervous. But also incredibly curious. He needed to know what you wanted to tell him.

Before he could overthink it, he opened the envelope and took out a sheet of paper. Even though it was shaky, he immediately recognized your handwriting. He wondered when you had written this, since your condition was terrible towards the end. How long had you planned this?

Smoothing out the piece of paper, he noticed the wrinkles on some parts. Tears. You had cried while writing this. It made his stomach flip. And he was once again scared to read the first line, to be confronted with everything again. But he forced himself to. It's your last wish, after all.

Dear Jay,

I hope you are doing okay. I know that when you receive this letter, I will be gone, but I hope it's bearable. I also know that letters aren't our thing, but here goes nothing I guess. Another first with you.

Jay, I wanted you to know once again that I lived the happiest years of my life by your side.

'So did I, Y/N.' he thought.

I could come clean in this letter, but there is nothing to come clean about, as even in the miserable state I'm in right now, I render our time together the best of my existence. I never felt as whole as when I was with you, and I want to remind you on that. Even if it didn't work out in the end, I regret nothing. You were my first on so many things, and I'm glad that, in a twisted stupid way, you are also my last.

Jay needed to pause. He couldn't swallow the knot in his throat, his breathing ragged and his eyes welling with tears. Why are you doing this to him? Yes, he deserved every bit of pain, but he didn't want it all to crash down on him. He forced himself to continue, anyway.

I am sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.

'No! You were too good for me. I wasn't good enough for you!'

But I hope that despite the pain you are feeling right now, you can move on and cherish the memories we created.

'How could I ever move on?'

I don't want me stopping you from being happy. Please Jay, be happy.

'How could I ever be happy again?'

I wish for you to find a partner that you can love as unconditionally as I was allowed to love you. That you can find the matching piece to your puzzle. That you can live your remaining life happily, with or without me on your mind. I want to become a positive memory for you. One you will look back to one day and think 'Yes, that was a beautiful time.'

Also, don't be too hard on yourself. I know that this isn't your fault.

'But it is completely my fault!'

We can't choose for our hearts, they choose for us. And yours chose different than mine, and that's okay. If you want to grief, grief. If you want to cry, cry. Do everything needed to overcome this initial sadness and to move on from it. I know you can do it. Or maybe, I'm asking you one more favor now: Promise me to do it. I know you always hated me putting others first, but you know how I am. I want you to be happy, first and foremost. So please try to be, keep your passion for music and fashion. Travel a lot and collect souvenirs. Do everything you planned on doing, even if it was planned with me. Don't let that stop yourself.

The letter is getting too long and philosophical now, so I'll stop here.

Thank you for the love and comfort you gave me over the years, I will never forget how you lightened up my life with your presence.

I love you, Jay. Maybe we'll meet again.

Until then,

Y/N

P.S.: Please play my favourite song on my funeral. You know which one.

The last sentences were almost impossible to read for him, as Jay's vision was blurred from all the tears. He began sobbing uncontrollably, not caring about any weird looks he was getting from other visitors or nurses. He tried to follow your guideline: If you want to cry, cry. Jay rarely cried, but now he needed to. He choked on his sobs as he was reading the letter over and over again, until it was imprinted in his mind.

And choking was what he hoped to experience after your death. He hoped he would develop the same condition, he so desperately waited for it. He wanted to know that after all, he did love you still. He wanted to make sure that your death was useless, and he wanted himself to suffer the same way you did.

But the cough never came. And that felt more like a punishment to him than a relief. Because now, he had to live with the fact that he killed you. That he really fell out of love with you, for whatever stupid reason. And he wasn't sure if he could keep the promise from your letter.

Masterlist

#enhypen #enhypen scenarios #jay #park jay #jay enhypen #park jongseong #jay scenarios #jay angst #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen scenario #heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen jay #jay oneshots

[anjels001]

Secrets of Devildom: Demons of Gluttony (part 1)

Anyone who has read the 7 Og theory and the life cycle (thanks @sparkbeast20 for the cooperation) knows that there are many holes in the annon and that many of the facts that occurred in the annon are not explained and/or left implicit without any context.

For those who are following these moments of theory, you can see that I have been talking a lot about the demonic classes, their "history" and culture before, during, and after the fall of the brothers focusing most of these moments on philosophical/mythological debates pointing out plot points that few would see and they would understand.

Well, we already talked about 3 of the seven classes of sins, namely Greed, Lust, and Sloth.

At this moment we will talk about the most deadly sin of existence, the sin whose principles are based on primordial laws, on the instinct of every living being, the sin that, however, underestimated for its strength, is still united (merged) with one of the greatest fatal causes in the world.

….(insert supernatural intro)…

...Let's talk about Gluttony now….

But before starting this moment of theory, I ask that you, dear reader, keep an open mind for this moment, and if you want to point out any flaws, or if I am forgetting something, remember that this is just a theoretical post. and I won't be upset if you want to add something to this conversation, I just ask that you reblog and tag me so we can exchange theories on the subject.

Like all theories about the demonic classes, I will start with the following question: what do we know about gluttony?

We know that, according to many religious texts,

"Gluttony is one of the cardinal sins, It is an exacerbated desire to consume without, beyond needs, it has to do with the loss of control over one's own body"-unknown.

Gluttony is the excessive consumption of food and drink, to which physical and spiritual ills are attributed, since it can lead to other sins, such as laziness.

It is also a manifestation of the pursuit of happiness in material things, as it is one of the many means people use to suppress psychological effects.

In short, the sin of gluttony, like almost all sins, is compounded by the lack of moderation of the basic instinct, which also presents itself as a symptom of a psychosomatic illness.

In this case, we can see that like many other sins presented by the brothers, Beel's sin, in addition to being an effect of being an avatar, is a result of his depression due to past events since he suffers from the need to fill a space through consumption. excessive, causing uncontrollable hunger.

With all the explanation about gluttony done let's turn our attention to the fandom and what we know about gluttony avatar.

As previously stated and noted on Fandom Beel, the brothers, grieve for the loss of their sister and the choices they made at that time.

The said character presents a classic case of survivor's guilt leading him to "drown" in his sin, in the cannon we can observe a difference in the behavior of the said character where it can be seen by the "memories" of the past of the brothers that bell was someone much more open and affectionate to strangers whereas in the "present" he only acts that way to those in his social-personal circle, aka his siblings.

My question is what would be the reason for such a change? with all this, in mind, I have developed some theories about what if this occurred during the fall.

Let's say that the layer of gluttony demons is an inhospitable and deserted place, whose law of survival is the only one applied in the place, where the strong devours the weak, a place where the rule is that the stronger the demon, the more hungry this one became...

imagine that this layer in hell before the coming of Beel was desertic, a lifeless plain that sustained nothing, a place full of danger with constant changes in temperature with a higher rate of infant mortality, compared to other demonic castes, where demons Gluttony had high fertility, but consumed their defective and weak offspring.

While the social cycle of the weakest (medium) demons consisted of a grouping together, where the "strongest" of them led, or that they joined the most powerful demon of their "region" offering food, defective puppies, or their own relative's weaker ones, in exchange for protection.

Now imagine that to assume the position of the avatar of gluttony Beel, he would have to devour his way, throwing away all his ethics and morals that he was taught in the celestial kingdom in search of satisfying the hunger and despair for the guilt of not having saved his family.

I can imagine the challenges of letting go of his instinct to help those who are hurt and to care for the weak, I can imagine how many times he tried to help the injured so that they would turn against him and brand him as weak...

With that in mind I think it's amazing how quickly MC managed to get close to him, although she had to prove herself by risking her own life against her "older" and more powerful brother, so I believe that the poor guy, bell, may have to feel a little dizzy because somehow this tiny living being faced off against one of the strongest avatars and lived to tell the tale!

Then again Lilith/Diavolo aka plot armor would not let the human die on his turn.

#anjels 001 theory #anjels ask #anjels001 theory #anjels001 comment #omswd #obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd beel #obey me beel #swd obey me #obey me! #obey me theories #obey me theory #shall we date?: obey me!

[tired-night-owl]

Red mittens

Fandom : The Owl House

So i got my period unexpectedly at work and this idea popped up in my head : What if Amity got her first period in the human realm ? It came out a bit less like I imagined it but still liked the idea. Hope all my uterus holders or fan of the hurt/comfort trope enjoy it too.

Word count : 2,279

Summary : Amity’s time of the month make its first appearance in a place she would've preferred not to. The boys get it all wrong and dramatize the whole ordeal making Luz and Camila fear for the the purple haired girl’s life. 

Notes : Period talk, Mention of blood, Straight up embarrassing scenario, Mention of Lumity, Mom!Camila, a bit of angst I guess. 

She’s been feeling weird all day without really knowing why. She didn’t want to bother anyone so she kept it to herself but it was starting to be suspicious. « It’s just a big tummy ache that’s all » she told herself. Maybe eating so much human food didn’t agree with her. It’s not that Camila’s food tasted bad but maybe it had something to do with witch biology… Amity didn’t want to insult Luz’s mom by telling her she didn’t feel good and theorized that it was her cooking. Beside, it wouldn’t be her first instinct to go to her own mom for things like this so why would she go to someone else’s mother. 

She pondered telling Luz about it but she could tell her girlfriend already had too much on her mind after, well everything. Amity didn’t want to make Luz feel any worse than she already did. 

So she went for the second closest person she had with her : her old childhood friend Willow. 

Willlow was outside working on a garden full of vegetables, her way of thanking the Noceda family for taking her in. Amity approached slowly and cleared her throat to let the girl know she was there. Jumping out of her own skin by the sudden disruption in her floral concentration, Willow screeched Amity’s name. 

« Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.. I- i’ll just leave » Amity apologized with a face so bright it could make the tomatoes in Willow’s garden jealous. 

« No no you don’t bother me I just didn’t hear you come, I guess I was really in my zone huh? » the dark haired girl replied playfully. 

« What is it Amity ? » There was clearly something wrong for her to look down at her shoes like that Willow thought. 

Amity hesitated. Should she really bother someone for a simple tummy ache, certainly it wasn’t a serious situation if no one else than her had one. 

« I dont know Willow… since this morning I feel sick and it seems like it’s only getting worse. »

« I’m scared it has something to do with the human food but I don’t want to hurt Camila’s feelings… » the purple head continued.

« Really ? I know it’s not the food we’re used to but I haven’t felt anything and I don’t think the guys did either... Perhaps you have an intolerance to something. What are your symptoms ? » Willow questioned with a voice filled with concern for her friend.

« Well I have a headache that comes and goes, my insides feels weird like this cramping in my lower stomach and - » Amity interrupted herself.

She felt something fall. Something she wasn’t expecting to happen. It couldn’t be ! Not yet and not so far from home… Willow got the hint as Amity’s gaze fell to her pants. Oh Titan… 

Willow already had to suffer the embarrassment of going to her fathers when it first happened to her three years ago. She was quite young and cried all day because she thought she was dying. She laughed internally remembering that day but knew she had to keep her composure because it’s not a lighthearted moment the first few times it happens. 

« No no no no no no ! Oh my titan Willow what am I gonna do ?! I can’t live this with a stranger ! Camila is the sweetest but its too embarrassing… » she whined as she curled in a foetus position in the dirt. 

As she did so, Willow noticed something that would probably finish off Amity from humiliation. 

She took off her green cardigan and asked Amity to stand up. Mortified already by the situation,  she started crying as Willow put her tricot around her waist. With her face in her hands, Willow still managed to decipher Amity’s muffled sentence.

« I always thought I would have to go to Emira for this and I don’t even know if she’s safe or if I’ll ever see her again… The universe really wants this to be the worst year of my life it seems… » she tried joking between her tears so that Willow wouldn’t pity her too much.

Willow took Amity’s hand in her own in an attempt to comfort her. 

« I know you must miss your family at a time like this and I’m honored you came to me for help. I promise you I’ll do everything in my power so that it stays between us. » she reassured.

They stayed in the garden for a little while because Amity wasn’t mentally prepared for the eventual encounter she would have to go through with Camila. Asking her if she could buy her the necessities could be the death of her if she hadn’t already survived an evil goo emperor. It was already embarrassing to tell her... She felt like a beggar to ask for such things of a woman who was already struggling to provide for them. Willow had too as well she imagined, so Camila won’t make a big deal out of it at least. But Luz ?! As much as Amity liked the caring side of her girlfriend, she really didn’t want the word to slip out and she knew her girlfriend would try hard not to, but her acts of service would eventually sell her out to everyone in the house. 

As if reading her mind Willow asked her why she didn’t go to her partner with her female predicament. 

« I don’t want her to worry more and think this is somehow her fault… Plus, wouldn’t it be like Luz to celebrate my sudden entry into the womanhood with a party or something. » she chuckled nervously.

« Yeah i guess maybe she wouldn’t be the most subtle with this. » Willow laughed softly  

The braided girl stood up and dusted herself off before offering a hand to her childhood friend. 

« Who knew a couple of months ago we would reconnect this much ? » 

Amity laughed at the irony and responded with a quick compliment. 

« I don’t think I could’ve imagined it then but I consider myself extremely lucky to have you with me for this now Willow. »

The girls made their way back home trying not to run into anyone. Certain their secret was safe for now they entered almost on their tiptoes not to be noticed, but little did they know Gus saw everything from afar outside…

———

The young boy was studying the small fauna in the Noceda’s yard when he overheard a commotion in Willow’s garden. He didn’t mean to spy on them but when he saw Amity crying he knew something big was happening. She usually was a very collected girl, so something awful was clearly going on. Something was off with Willow too because she shared a sad empathetic look with the youngest Blight. That was more than enough to send the young boy into a frenzy of theories and scenarios. 

Gus ran inside and into the basement where Hunter and Luz were working on tiny little accessories for the palisments. 

« I don’t think you should sew that with this fabric Hunter, its gonna look wonky on ghost… » Luz chid 

Before Hunter could start bickering, Gus was already there with a panicked look on his face unfolding his synopsis. 

———

Willow and Amity managed to get into the bathroom without being noticed too much. Willow brought her some new pants, underwears and what was left of her own sanitary products. They started frantically scrubbing her stained clothes in the bathroom’s sink. The red mark creating diluted crimson ribbons against the white surface as they washed it. Gus hurried his two companions up the stairs and into the garden but they were gone. Panic seized the trio as they ran back inside. Luz asked her mother if she saw where they went. Camila responded by simply pointing to the bathroom without even looking up from her book. 

Gus started wildly knocking on the door and without waiting for an answer barged in. The girls both looked up with horror in their eyes but it couldn’t match the expression Gus had plastered on his face. The poor little guy almost fainted at the sight and the overwhelming amount of stress he had just put himself through. 

« Blood, BLOOD ! SAVE US TITAN ! AMITY’S DYING ! » he screeched

Hunter ran to the kitchen screaming as he fetched the first aid kit and came back to the group without knowing who to go to first : the girl who was seemingly bleeding in the bathroom or the young boy who had just collapsed on the floor. Luz stood there, frozen, scared for her girlfriend and panicked by all that was going on. She realized after starring at them for so long what exactly they were trying to wash. 

« Oh… » was all she managed to say.

Camila, annoyed with all this commotion, joined the clearly troubled group of young teens she had took under her roof. She bent down to make sure Gus was okay and as she got up, understood the cause of the ruckus pretty easily. 

« Everyone, OUT ! » she ordered 

They were all shocked by the abrupt outburst. The woman never showed this side of herself before and they were all a bit scared by it. Two of them grew up with an abusive parental figure, the others didn’t have a maternal presence in their household so didn’t know what to expect from one and as for Luz, well she never saw her mom angry before now. 

To say it was a shocker was an understatement but they all listened immediately and hurried back into the basement. Hunter was having a full blown panic attack in the corner thinking he did something wrong and that Camila would throw him out or worse. Gus was still shaking at the sight of Amity’s blood while Luz was sitting on the sofa, staring at her feet. When she finally snapped out of her trance, she tried calming down her friends. 

« Gus relax, Amity’s not dying and Hunter, my mother isn’t mad at you she just wanted us to scram I guess… » she reasoned with the boys. Vee had joined them, taking her headphones off freaked out at what she heard.

« Amity’s dying ?! » the basilisk questioned alarmed 

« No she’s fine, just a little… woman… accident… » Luz almost but whispered the end of her sentence 

« Oh… » they all said simultaneously.

———

Camila locked herself in the bathroom with the girls, her rigid tone from earlier completely gone. 

« Sweetie, why didn’t you come to me with this ? » as she took the soiled clothes from them

« I didn’t want to bother you Mrs Noceda… and I was a little embarrassed too I guess… » Amity replied, blushing up to her ears. 

« There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Sure I understand you would have preferred to be with your own mom for thi- » Camila stopped her sentence as she saw willow frantically shaking her head no behind Amity. 

« -or just maybe not with someone you barely know but I never want any of you to be embarrassed to come to me with your problems. » the mother announced in a soothing voice with her hands on both their shoulders.

« Beside it would have taken you ages washing a blood stain by hand like that, believe me. When I was your age, I bled through all my clothes on the first night so I got used pretty quickly to cleaning up those stubborn spots.» she said with a proud look on her face

Amity’s exhaled softy as a laugh. 

« I know it probably will be embarrassing, but you guys should go down and clear up this misunderstanding with the others before they start making it weirder. » Camila suggested

« I think we might be too late for that » Willow responded.

———

They followed Camila’s advice and went downstairs. Willow was first in line, leaving a chance for Amity to prepare herself for this delicate encounter with her friends. 

As soon as they heard the stairs creak a little, everyone’s head shot up towards them. When usually only one of them would blush as the sight of one of the girls, the pink colored cheeks could be seen on every faces in the room. Seeing as Amity didn’t seem to be ready to make the first move yet, Willow initiated the conversation. 

« We didn’t mean to spook you guys and honestly we didn’t think anyone saw us. Sh-We wanted to keep it private because…well… » she struggled to continue 

Amity took pity of her friend who was trying to cover for her and finally decided to stand up for herself.

« I’m not sure when or how I expected this dreadful day to play out even in the isles but I didn’t mean for it to go all insane like that… » 

« I-I- we … » she lost her train of thought trying to stay polite. 

« We understand and we’re sorry. We shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place… » Hunter cut her off 

Silently thanking him for saving her from further embarrassment, Amity shot him a shy smile which he returned. 

« I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spy I swear but you guys looked so shady in the garden and with everything that happened back home I thought you were hiding an injury of something serious and- » Gus rambled.

« It’s fine Gus. Next time just come to the person concerned first instead of spreading your wild stories to everyone okay ? » Willow asked him with a giggle.

« Yeah i guess I kinda blew this out of proportion a little » he said scratching the back of his head

« A little ?! » everyone replied laughing 

Amity didn’t know how it would’ve played out in what she thought was her « normal » world but by looking at them now, she guessed it didn’t go too bad after all. 

#TOH #toh fic #the owl house fic #toh willow #toh hunter #toh luz #toh amity #amity blight #toh gus #my fic #willow park #the owl house willow #luz noceda #hunter wittebane #gus porter #vee the basilisk #vee toh #THE OWL HOUSE #toh lumity #lumity #luz x amity #my fic post

[gimmeurtmi]

what does being high feel like??

(im a little scared of doing drugs :((( )

its ok if u dont wanna answer!

you don’t need to be scared! as in like, if you don’t wanna do it just don’t do it. it’s not something everyone enjoys and it’s also not something i think ppl have to try. i’m not a drug advocate at all like i don’t do it recreationally so i’m probably not the best person to ask lmao but i’ll try and answer as best i can.

(this is long under the cut bc drugs are not a simple subject and knowledge is power 💛)

it varies a lot depending on what drug you use and also how you use it. for example weed can be smoked (mainly) by being mixed with tobacco or not mixed. put in a vape pen or not. each option can change how strong it is and how enjoyable the smoking can be. you can also eat it by making it into butter. you can swallow it by making it into oil (tastes like plastic cow) or you can drink it. each method has different release times, different high levels, and so on.

there’s also a wide variety of strains with a different combination mix of thc percentages and cbd percentages. those are the active ingredients in weed and have different effects on you. thc gets you high (affects the mind) and cbd relaxes you (affects the body). so the high depends massively on what exactly are you smoking.

as to what it feels like, i can give a general description because it depends so much on what you’re using. when smoking weed usually your body relaxes a lot and it comes with a lot of tingling in any area that might be sore followed by extreme relaxation. your concept of time can change a little, as in sometimes you’ll go get a drink or something and the time it takes to fill the cup feels so disproportionate. it can help your thoughts sometimes, if there’s a lot of chatter in your brain it can either silence it or help you focus on just one channel of thoughts. but your thoughts usually move much faster than what you can keep up with and you’ll end up thinking about things that are so not the subject of conversation. my brain already does that but if i’m high i tend to not filter it and just say the unrelated things out loud. it can also boost your creativity because of it. sometimes you’ll get something referred to as cotton mouth which is unpleasant and makes you very thirsty. you also have a harder time judging your hunger levels and are quicker to give in to the urge to snack (can easily devour a whole ben and jerry’s in one sitting if im high but i barely do that sober)

because of how your thoughts move when you’re high, sometimes it can be unpleasant if a bad thought occurs bc your brain will go with it all the way and weed can cause paranoia at times. i.e, everyone knows i’m high, i’m gonna get in trouble, this food is poisoned, etc. if you have intrusive thoughts already it can cause them to multiply and bc your creativity levels are higher the creativity of the intrusiveness can be much higher so i don’t think it’s recommended for ppl who have ocd and other conditions that cause intrusive thoughts.

it’s said to help anxiety but weed does quicken your heartbeat so i would be wary of that. i think anxiety in the mind can be helped but physical symptoms of anxiety can worsen when high (unless you get the exact strain that can help you).

because of how hard it is to grasp time it can feel like everything is foggy and if you’re high enough it can be similar to alcohol when gaps of time disappear from your brain and you don’t remember how you got for point a to point b. i don’t like that feeling at all and when it happens i go into stress mood. it can also feel when you’re talking to someone that you’re fighting ur high levels or they don’t make sense to you suddenly.

all in all, i don’t like the feeling of being high so i don’t recommend it to others 😅

but if you are going to get high there’s a right way to do it and if you want i can give you some tips and tricks on that.

i also tend to get high on opioids more than weed (they are medically prescribed i do not recommend using opioids recreationally AT ALL) which is a much nicer high tbh bc a lot of serotonin is released which weed can’t do so much. any serotonin based drug is going to give a more pleasant high but those are all classed as hard drugs (mdma/ecstasy, cocaine, lsd) so like. don’t do those. please.

#ask #anon #drugs tw #drugs mention

[doggiefooditems]

Can Dogs Eat Crisp? It is impossible to imagine a better way to end the evening than with the dog at your feet in front of the TV. The first thing you do when you get hungry is go to the living room cupboard and get a pack of Crisp. Upon opening the bag, your four-legged friend looks up at you in shock. In this case, you are probably wondering whether or not dogs are allowed to eat crisps. Here's the gist: Can my dog eat Crisp? Crisp is not allowed to be eaten by your dog. If you feed your pet much salt, it could harm his kidneys. In addition, Crisp contains a lot of spices and flavor enhancers that your dog shouldn't consume. As a result of eating Crisp, you may experience digestive problems and vomiting in some people. How toxic are Pringles to dogs? As far as we know, there is no evidence that Crisp is toxic to dogs. Even so, it is crucial to understand that they are extremely unhealthy for them. The potato is used in the production of crips. Your dog generally tolerates cooked tubers well. In contrast, things are different with Crisp. The products are highly processed. Crisps contain a lot of salt, spices, and artificial ingredients such as flavor enhancers. Not to mention that there are many fats in these foods. A dog ingesting too much Crisp may become dehydrated because of its high sodium level. What happens if my dog eats Crisp? The answer depends on the quantity. Dogs who eat a whole bag of Crisp will most likely become diarrheal. Crisps have an intense smell that tempts your dog to eat all the contents. In this case, your darling has consumed a large amount of salt. There are just as many spices, fats, and other ingredients. Your dog may vomit out the Crisp again. Your buddy has only eaten two or three Crisps so he will be thirsty. Regarding adverse reactions that occur, there are typically none. It is important to keep in mind, however, that Crisp is very unhealthy when consumed in the long run. Both cases require that the water bowl be filled. There is a huge thirst in dogs after eating salty foods. Please keep watch on your canine in the coming hours. You should consult the veterinarian if he behaves conspicuously. Crisp should not be fed regularly. According to a study, high amounts of Crisp harm heart health. Getting your dog used to the taste is not a good idea. Important: Don't leave Crisp unattended. Dogs steal Crisp from tables because of its intense smell. The underestimated danger of Sharp Crisp! Pepperoni, chili, jalapenos, mustard, and wasabi are all ingredients in hot crisps. You should never give your canine any hot vegetables or spices. The gastric mucosa becomes irritated by the sharpness. There may be significant swelling in the digestive tract as a result. Your dog will drink water endlessly and behave restlessly. If our food is too spicy, we can reach for the milk. If you accidentally feed your dog hot Crisp, give him a little milk to ease the pain. Only if you are sure, he does not have lactose intolerance. With Crisp that contains mustard, there is an additional problem: mustard is toxic to dogs. With mustard, it is possible to make dogs vomit. The nightshade family also contains the active ingredient solanine. In dogs, this substance can cause vomiting and severe diarrhea. Crispy dog food is a safe alternative. Dog Crisp is available in the food trade that contains no harmful ingredients. You can give him a portion without hesitation whenever you watch TV with your darling. Frequently Asked Questions Can dogs eat one crisp at a time? The answer is no; your furry friend shouldn't eat crisps since they are unhealthy for him and have no nutritional value. Crisps may be tasty, but they could be more dog-friendly. Do dogs eat spiced crisps? The symptoms of sodium poisoning include Veterinary intervention is recommended if your crisp variety contains onion or garlic flavoring. Can dogs eat human snacks? Here are 12 of the healthiest human foods for dogs

CARROTS PEANUT BUTTER PLAIN YOGURT CHEESE SALMON CHICKEN BLUEBERRIES PUMPKIN Can a dog eat Pringles? My dog can eat Pringles? While your dog may play with the empty can, they should avoid the actual Pringle. Like the other chips above, Pringles also has problems. You could make your dog ill with too much salt, oil, and spices. Can dogs eat nachos? It's not good for dogs to eat nachos; there's no short answer. There are ingredients in nachos that could make your pup sick. The vet should be consulted if your dog ate nachos. Can dogs eat Doritos? When dogs consume too much salt, they may suffer from vomiting, diarrhea, depression, tremors, high temperatures, and seizures. Even death may result from it. Other seasonings on foods like Doritos may cause you to pause before sharing. Onions and garlic can cause anemia in dogs. Conclusion: Are dogs allowed to eat Crisp? Crisp is not allowed to be eaten by your dog. Crisp are highly processed foods. Salt, spices, fats, and flavor enhancers are all present in crisp. It can lead to digestive problems and vomiting if you consume too much. Generally, feeding your dog 2-3 Crisps at a time is fine. However, they should be more balanced and crisper. Please refrain from getting used to the taste and offer him an alternative. Have questions about dogs or Crisp? Then feel free to leave a comment now!  

[riddlemethisjeremy]

On that post about autism winning you put in the tags how cannibalism isn't a great survival food source can you elaborate more on that because I'm genuinely curious

yes actually !!

So there are a few reasons for this

The first one, which im pretty sure i mentioned in the tags, is that human flesh is actually really low on calories.

And i know

"calories bad 😡😡😡 high calorie food isnt good for you etc. etc."

This is a diet culture myth

Calories are actually the human body's main source of long term energy your body converts it into fat to store it and then burns the fat to make energy when food is scarce/when you're using a lot of it at once.

Having a high calorie diet is like pretty good for people in stamina sports because it means they won't burn out too quickly.

When you're in a survival situation where food is scarce, you're gonna want foods either high in sugar so you can get your energy boost straight away (humans are not this because we burn through sugar like its gasoline) or high in calories so that you can preserve your energy and live longer, and so you can last off the same bit of food for longer. Food that is high in calories tend to be filling because your body is getting a bunch of storable energy really quickly and you do not need as much of it at once to live.

Because humans store energy as fat, though, a lot of the calories in it tend to burn when you would be cooking human flesh, meaning that most of the useful survival nutrients likely will be wasted. And making the assumption that this is a city person who is resorting to cannibalism as a final option, they probably would not be able to stomach raw human/not a hundred percent but it could possibly kill you? I know human meat gets compared to pork/chicken quite often and they're both white meats, which you can't eat raw. So in the basic sense of getting energy off of the food you're eating, humans just don't have the correct nutritional balance to sustainably keep you alive you'd have kill and eat another person every like two-three days whereas animals like pigs/goats/sheep you could live off for at least a week before they start to spoil (and even then if you cook it thoroughly uts still technically safe to eat for like almost a month) so if you can find something similar in your wilderness environment do so

Also don't quote me on this but pretty sure a good way to tell for meat with decent calorie intake is muscle vs fat

Beef cows are often bred for muscle as opposed to fat because the fat just lacks nutrients and doesnt satisfy hunger very well

So if you have a himbo friend they're going first just saying

But also humans aren't really naturally built to build muscle as well as they build fat, so either way chances are you'll still end up lacking calorie intake.

Reason number two !!

A pretty fuckin big one

Kuru

Kuru is a protien disease (i think thats the word). I dont know all the sciency shit but basically inside your brain you have these little chemicals and theyre unique to you. They like float around your body a little and vibe idrk why they're there.

However

When you ingest human flesh

The other persons little protein things attack your ones.

Most of what i know about the symptoms of kuru come from this one zombie game my dad used to play (z nation or gen z or some shit like that it was a super hardcore survival game) so like dont quote me too much on this

But basically it deteriorates your brain functions. You like start getting forgetful/judgement/risk evaluation gets affected/emotional management fucks off completely (you get all manic sometimes i think and like hysterical laughing is common in later stages) and eventually your brain just kind of in general stops functioning and you die.

And it takes a little while like a couple weeks or something i think depending on the amount of human flesh you consume.

And like you won't always contract a lethal level of kuru i think, like generally the further away from the brain you are the better off you'll be? Like if you eat a human brain you're practically dead on arrival but if youre munching on toes you have to eat like four or five people's worth to die

Fun fact: the penis is the only place on the human body this protein isnt found which means eating dick is safe.

But yeah kuru is nasty and i do not recommend to the average tumblr user.

Please bear in mind that i am not a science nerd do like the more scientific shit i am not a hundred percent on and you should probably take this with a lil grai of salt because i might have oversimplified or misunderstood something

But this is more or less why cannibalism is not a great survival tactic and should definitely be the last of last resorts

#Jon speaks #Answering asks #Autism wins ig #tw cannabalism #canabalism #Survival shit #Just stuff i know for some reason #No it actually makes me so happy when people ask me weird questions like this #I should totally post a list of my interests/hyperfixations/ocs/stories and like beg people to send asks i love this #Thank you so much random citizen #I hope your curiosity is satiated #I cant wait to be a high school teacher guys the kids are gonna love me #Had to put this in queue cause apparently ive reached my post limit (homophobic)

[trexova]

The Benefits of Yoga for Global Healthcare

It's unlikely that the people who created yoga as a spiritual practice in ancient India could have ever anticipated how their method would appear thousands of years from now. Yoga, which was deeply spiritual in its beginnings and for much of its history, has developed into a practice with a global reach and limitless variations, ranging from the rigorously traditional to cutting-edge creations like beer and goat yoga.

Since that time, yoga has been thoroughly assimilated into Western culture, and for decades, there has been a growing awareness that yoga treatment can improve the results of a range of health issues. Since Swami Kuvalayananda initially proposed that it would be able to assess the physical and physiological changes brought about by yoga practice in the 1920s, a vast amount of scientific research has been done on yoga's effects on anything from heart disease to psychosis. Sometimes it is not possible to do it on my own, look out for an online yoga class and follow the practices with professionals.

Yoga in Healthcare

We have reached a stage in the protracted struggle against a disease that is utterly unprecedented in human history. With the odd exception, we no longer need to be concerned about the devastation caused by infectious diseases because widespread immunization programs, good public hygiene, and available antibiotics and antivirals for treatment help to keep a lid on anything particularly nasty from getting out of hand.  If you are looking for professional training, search for a yoga teacher near me.

This astonishing phenomenon has been developing for hundreds of years thanks to the dedication of numerous generations of scientists and medical professionals who have been taking baby steps toward a brighter future. Although we can rejoice that the plague, cholera, smallpox, and other deadly diseases are no longer a threat to us, a new health catastrophe has emerged. The main health issue of the twenty-first century is predicted to be chronic and non-communicable diseases, which are a result of both our longer lifespans and broad lifestyle changes.

Many people's lives in the modern world are characterized by a diet of processed, sugar-filled foods, a work environment that leaves little time for relaxation or creative expression, a lack of exercise, loneliness, and intense financial pressure, all of which have significant negative impact on people's health. The rise in anxiety and sadness as well as the fact that 84.1 million Americans aged 18 and older had prediabetes in 2015 are just a few indicators of how difficult it is for conventional medicine to address the current health crisis.

Here is where yoga can (and often does) make a difference. Taking care of people's health is a tremendously expensive endeavor, with major portions of a nation's GDP frequently going toward just one objective. Yoga can be performed at any age and any stage of health and is a cheap approach to assist individuals in both managing the symptoms of sickness and preventing illness from occurring in the first place. Get all the benefits of in-person by finding online yoga classes near you from the comfort of your home. Enjoy world-class instruction from some of the best instructors without leaving your living room.

Yoga is available, promotes well-being, and frequent practitioners are less likely to experience long-term issues with their physical and mental health. Additionally, it is connected to other healthy lifestyle behaviors, indicating that when people are encouraged to take care of their health through yoga, they begin to make healthier decisions in other spheres of their lives. Implementing a yoga treatment regimen can help people with recalcitrant conditions like low back pain and sleeplessness, and as people's overall well-being rises, so does their perception of life.

The grueling nature of the long-term disease and the relentlessness of modern expectations can leave people feeling completely overwhelmed. Health is frequently controlled by a broad variety of social, economic, and environmental factors. Yoga is a practice that may be done in a supportive group environment and that can empower a person to make the best decisions for themselves.

#yoga teacher #online yoga classes #Online yoga #online yoga courses