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samwritesforyou · 4 years

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We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table.

You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

#diego x reader #diego hargreeves x reader #tua diego #diego reader insert #the umbrella academy #tua fanfic #umbrella academy x reader #diego hargreeves #number two

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lustingtc · 5 years

Text

24th October 2019

*leans on doorframe*

Do I have a motherfuckin blog post 4 u 😳😳

Its a ride fo sure 🤪✌🏻

ANYWAYZ

T came a lil bit late cuz he was on duty 😌😌😌

He,,,, coat 🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

It maybe his only good fashion decision in his whole life... 🙄💅🏻💁‍♀️

For like a good 5 minuets T was just rambling as he logged on??? 😟😟

He said something, then a kid was like “You should run for prime minister xd”

So T started talking abt... killing the queen..? N killing the whole royal family... so... 😬😬😬

But we played this game for the lesson 😌✌🏻

The first thing he did was

Place a fukin bet on who was gonna win.

He’s wild as fuck 😳😳😳😳

To make a long story short tho...

It was me n S who he picked!!! 😳🤪😳🤪✌🏻

We came second. Only cuz the fat cunt girls cheated 🤮🤮🤮

He was kinda disappointed... more jokingly lol,, but we’ll win next time >:3

These girls where giggling when going to answer n T was like

🤪🤪🤪 ”HAHAHAHA!1!!!1111!111!”

Really sarcastically??? I’m- he bab doe,,,

But 🥵🥵🥵

So💦MuCH!!🤪eyE👁FUCKING!!!!!👌🏻👈🏻

It was unbelievable man. I’m pregnant from this shit he’s pulling 🤰 like BRO,,

T’s absolutely fucking bat shit tho

S asked him to come over, to ask a question

This man 😌😌

He could of been normal and just... got up?

No. Not T.

Mans fucking pushes his spiny chair from his desk to the door which he THEN pushes himself OFF the fucking wall to our desk...

The man is mad.

Mad SEXY 🔥🔥🔥😎😎😎

Jk 🤢 isH,,

N OMG 😡😡😡

He UwU 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕 when he came over he was so smiley!!!

His dumb big smile just makes me 🥺🥺🥺

I love hIM!!! 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

Goofy mofo just,,,, 👉🏻👈🏻🥺,,, hes so handsome and lovely and nice and beautiful n amazing,,,

Lik @ God if I don’t at least get to KISS this man once. I cannot die. Infact. I will kill god.

From UwUs to OwOs

T’s into incest??? 😨😨😨

Look— there’s an explanation for this.

Baso some kid in his french was like,,,

“I’d 😜 love to have💦a sexy step sister 👱‍♀️”

T in our Spanish was like

“I was like 😬😬 okay. Bit weird”

T in the kid (&my inside gal) French was like

“😉😉😉 Haha! Sexy step sis LOL!”

N was apparently rly dragging the joke of sexy step sister??? 🤔🤔🤔

Which made me think...

Is T into step sister incest? 🤢🤢

Logical answer: probably not. Funnier answer: LOL YEA

And that’s all my notes on that fucking MESS of a lesson

But it don’t end there.

Dogman.

🤮🤮🤮 ugliest man to live

He came into my English class asking 4 a key

When I tell you he looked ugly.

My god he did.

His shirt legitimately looked like BARNY THE DINOSAUR had long passionate sex with a FUCKIN PICNIC BLANKET!!

Ive never seen such an ugly fucking thing

It pained me.

I regretted everything.

Loving him, being in that lesson, being alive.

His fit almost sent me into a depressive episode

😀😀😀 I hate him 😀😀😀

ThEN THID FUCKING KID!!!

Miss like brushed Dogman off n this kid goes

“LOL! Miss like Sir!!”

I’m there like 😗😬😳

She denied all emotions. But. I kinda saw it. 🤮

BACK TO MY LOVER N HIS BOYFRIEND 😳😳😳

In M’s class their doing relationships n they had to plan a wedding

Apparently last yr sum kid in T’s lesson planned M & T’s wedding 😨😨😨🤭

Mfw my bf has a hubby 😱😱

TO MAKE IT WORSE SKEJALENNR

T was apparently like

“Tru dat.”

😭😭😭💔💔💔 HES A GAY WTF!!!!!!

Never do trust that man.

& to make an already bad situation EVEN WORSE

*deep inhale*

T MIGHT BE MOVING BACK TO GERMANY??

I’m a few years tho.

Hopefully not anytime soon.

But it’s bc of FEKIN BREXIT 😡😡😡

Hopefully 😌😌😌 this is a lie.

Something that won’t happen until we’re many many MANY happy years into our relationship.

😗💅🏻💍 #TrueLoveFindsAWay

So tiring this man is...😴😴😴

NOT THE END THO!!!!

Dogman. Rite. 😷😷😷

He gave my friend his phone for her to use for Kahoot n sadly she didn’t have a snoop

BUT.

We did find out his recent emojis where

🤡❤️...

Funny bc his last name sounds like clown.

Is he a secret Twitter stannie? 🤮

Is he a regular Twitter normie jumping on the new cancel culture victim? 🤡🤡

Or is he bullying himself? 🥺🥺🥺

Who knows. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s just hope he’s not a stannie 🙄🙄🙄🙄

T stans Ari so I can’t have 2 of them since T’s already enough 🤮🤮👎🏻💔

Unless it’s Miku

Dogman can stan miku.

Anyways

I GG Y. Bye 👋🏻💋

#teacher crush #tc #teacher crush community #tc community #Z #dogman

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spn-ficfanatic · 5 years

Text

F*ck Cancer- Ch 1: The Discovery

SERIES MASTERLIST - CHAPTER TWO

Summary: You’ve been hiding a crushing secret from your best friends (Well, one best friend and one sometimes-lover if you want to get technical about it). How will they react when they find out that the woman they grew up and hunted with for most of their lives, may only have a few months left to live?

Genre: Angst

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean x Platonic!Reader* *For my Dean ladies: it may not be romantic between him and the reader, but it’s a very close brotherly/sisterly relationship and I still think y’all will really enjoy it :)

Words: 3277

Warnings: Cancer/chemo talk, swearing

A/N: I’ve only written one series prior to this. It was also a Sam x Reader, was 8 parts long just like this, and just like this it marked a huge milestone on my blog. The first chapter of “The One Moment” marked the 100th post I’d made... this marks the 300th :)

Your phone rang as you stared lazily out of the window. You knew you were lucky, not many of the other patients had this view; it certainly made the whole process seem a little less intimidating. Your heart nearly skipped a beat when you saw it was Sam who was calling, for good or bad you weren't sure. You and he had been together in the past, it was never anything serious because the life of a hunter would never allow that, but to say you didn’t have some semblance of feelings for him would be a big fat lie. You took a deep breath and accepted the call, holding your hand over the microphone in an attempt to shield the hospital sounds surrounding you.

“Hey Sam, been a while,” you told him, trying to sound casual. Thankfully you had only just started treatment 10 minutes prior so the vomiting hadn’t started yet, and your voice would definitely have betrayed you in that instance.

“Hey yourself Y/N, been good?” he replied; you could hear the smile in his voice which in turn had you grinning. You really had missed him.

“Can’t complain,” you lied. “How are you and bonehead going?”

“Hey, I resent that,” Dean’s voice protested in the background and you and Sam shared a laugh.

“He’s good, we both are.”

“So, what are you boys up to at the moment? Gimme all the goss,” you begged, reclining in your chair.

“Actually we’ve just finished a case and will be driving through Austin pretty soon to the next one, thought maybe we could stop by and say hi.”

You nearly dropped the phone as you bolted upright. Holding onto it tightly you quickly debated on the best way to handle this. No way were he and Dean going to find out about this, especially not in the middle of treatment.

“Y/N? You there?” he asked, concern filling his voice.

“Shit yer, sorry, I sat back and nearly dropped my phone. Um, now’s not really a good time,” you told him, scrambling to come up with a good excuse.

“Is everything ok? Are you in trouble?” he asked, jumping straight into protective mode. You forced out a laugh.

“It’s all good, I’m just not at home. Hitting a salt and burn a few states over unfortunately.”

“I thought you were having a break from hunting?” Dean asked you skeptically. Curse his big brother senses.

“Yer but this came up and, I dunno, I felt like scratching that itch or something,” you scrambled, picking at a loose thread on your jumper sleeve nervously. “Anyway I think I’ll be here another couple of days so we might have to try for next time. Sorry.”

“No no, it’s fine. Sorry to miss you, was looking forward to it,” Sam replied, sounding pretty beat up. God damn it Winchester!

A nurse started to approach and you realised you had to get off the call before they overheard her talking about your IV line.

“Anyway guys I better get going, it was really great talking to you. I’ll call you tomorrow perhaps?” you rushed.

“Oh, uh, yer sure. That’d be great. Talk soo-”

You had to cut him off, the nurse got too close and was about to open her mouth and blow your cover. You berated yourself for it, he probably thought you didn’t want to see them anymore, and you face palmed yourself and groaned in annoyance.

“Oh hun, is the nausea starting already?” the nurse asked you kindly.

“Yer, only it’s not the chemo this time.”

-----------------------------------------

“Did she just hang up on you?” Dean asked incredulously. Sam was looking at his phone, the call disconnected before he’d even managed to get his sentence out.

“Uh, yer, it would appear so.”

“What the hell did you do to her man?”

Sam held his hands up defensively. “I didn’t do anything! At least I don’t think I did. Things were good last time, we email and message while we’re on the road. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

An awkward silence filled the cabin while the boys each contemplated the exchange.

“Did she sound a little flat to you?” Dean asked, starting to grow concerned.

“I dunno, a little I guess. Maybe this hunt’s taken a lot out of her, it’s been a while.”

“Do you… Nah.”

“What?”

“Well, do you think she was on a hunt? Really? Maybe she’s just avoiding us.”

Sam gave Dean a look, before leaning over and grabbing his laptop from the back seat. Dean kept his eyes on the road while Sam brought up the GPS tracker and put your number in.

“Dude, really? We’re stalking her now? She’s gonna kill you if she finds out you did this, you know that right?”

Sam didn’t answer as he watched the program track your phone, his heart dropping when it landed on the one place he never expected it would.

“Dean, how far away are we from Austin?” he asked as he stared at the screen, his voice sounding a little dangerous.

“Uhhh, a couple of hours. Give or take. Why, is she there?”

“Yer she’s, uh, she’s at Cornerstone Hospital.”

--------------------------------------

3 hours later and you were finally done with your chemotherapy treatment for the day. You’d had a bout of nausea a little while ago but generally were starting to come good again. Knowing what happened last time though, you had about 45 minutes to get home before you could barely stand through the pain.

Waiting for the nurse to see you, you drummed your hands on the armrest while you looked around the room. A few people had come and gone in the time you’d been there, some having just a half-hour treatment. You were the youngest there you noticed, and you always got the pity-stare from the older patients when they walked in and saw you. So you kept to yourself… making friends with people at this stage in your life seemed relatively moot.

You were too busy reading a new poster on the wall to hear the heavy footsteps coming down the hall. You may have recognised them if you have been paying attention, you’d heard them on enough hunts in the past. A deep voice broke through your thoughts and turned your blood cold; if you hadn't still been connected to all the wires you might have tried to make a run for it. Instead you took a deep breath and turned to face the brothers. Neither had noticed you yet, their backs to you as they spoke to the nurse at the desk opposite. They were in their FBI gear which surprised you.

“Hello, we're looking for Y/N Y/L/N?” Dean asked in his professional voice.

Sam started looking around the room and before the nurse could point them in your direction, his eyes landed on yours. His jaw dropped as he took your frail form in, and before Dean could even turn around he was headed to you.

“Y/N, what the hell?” he cried, trying not to be too loud but he was obviously upset. Dean too came toward you, you don’t think you’d ever seen him look so worried before.

“Is everything ok here?” the nurse asked as she approached your chair, eyeing the men cautiously.

“Yer it’s all fine Tess, thanks for checking. Could we have a sec before you unhook me?” you asked her quietly. “I need to talk with my friends.”

She nodded with a warm smile and patted your knee gently before walking off to help another patient. You watched her leave, and sighed as you turned back to face the guys. Both were staring at you with mouths agape, and you rolled your eyes and gave a little huff of amusement.

“You guys wanna close your mouths? There’s a few flies buzzing around in here.”

“Don't joke Y/N, this isn't funny,” Dean scolded.

You hung your head. “You're right, I’m sorry. I don’t really know how to talk about this stuff.”

“How long has is been going on?” Sam asked, nearly in a whisper. The guy looked heartbroken, and you felt like dirt.

You rubbed your neck awkwardly, you knew they weren’t going to like the answer you had for them. “Umm, this is my second cycle of chemo.”

Sam tried to stay composed but your admission took him by surprise. “Wha- SECOND? You didn’t think to call me after the first? Why the hell haven't you said anything?” he whispered angrily, trying not to draw attention from the other patients. It was a futile effort though, there wasn’t much entertainment in the treatment room so all eyes were locked on the display.

“Sam please, not here,” you begged, tears starting to form in your eyes as you looked around.

“She's right Sammy,” Dean replied calmly, noticing the attention as well. “Let’s just get her home and we'll figure it all out then.” You let out a breath, thankful to Dean for taking control.

“Thank you. I have my car so I’ll just m-”

“Wait, you drove here?” Dean scolded loudly. Well, so much for having calm big brother on your side.

“Is there a problem with that?” you asked defensively.

“You barely look like you can walk Y/N, let alone drive. What are you thinking?” Dean chided, and your ears grew hot with anger.

“Excuse me?” you asked, your voice low and dangerous. He’d only heard you speak to one other person like that before and it was Crowley when he dared to called you “sweetcheeks”.

He sighed, realising he was out of line, and tried to back-pedal. “I just mean…”

“No, I know what you meant Dean. You know, just because I’m going through this doesn’t make me a damn invalid. And sure I’ve lost a little weight and my hair’s a bit thinner but hey, that’s what’s gonna happen when my body is being pumped with poisoned to kill the asshole tumour growing in my noggin. But none of that really matters because I’ll probably be dead in a few months time anyway.”

As the conversation had become more and more heated the nurse was quietly and graciously removing your IV, she could clearly see this conversation was uncomfortable for you and wanted you to have the option to remove yourself from it if need be. It was all you needed to get up off your chair and start walking out the door, leaving the brothers behind you.

“Go after her and I’ll call security,” you heard Tess warn, and if you hadn’t been pissed as fuck you would have smiled. You’d developed a good repore with her in the time you’d been in the hospital, and considered her your closest friend at this point in your life. No-one else knew about what you were going through, you had quit your job ages ago and were supporting yourself with your safely stored away inheritance. You were thankful to not hear heavy footsteps following after you, and headed quickly to your car to head home. You didn’t know if you’d have enough of a head start to beat them.

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You were panting by the time you reached your front door. The headache had started on the way home and the stress of what had just transpired with the brothers was becoming too much in your state. You grabbed your keys out of your bag but your eyes became blurry, and you leaned your forehead against the door frame as you rubbed the bridge of your nose. Staying where you were you looked down as you found the key you needed, and gently leaned over to put it into the door. The roar of the Impala came around the corner and you groaned… why couldn’t they just give you a little time to process? Bloody men!

To your annoyance the key wasn’t fitting in the lock and you threw your hands up in the air in frustration, your head still resting on the door frame. You heard them pull up to your sidewalk and quickly tried to find the key you needed, only to drop them on the ground.

“What the fuckity fuck!” you cried out loud, stomping your foot in frustration like a 5 year old. You gave up and slumped on the sun chair by your front door, holding your head in your hands with your elbows on your knees. The car doors slammed and you could hear them walking up the path to your front porch.

“Y/N?” Sam called out when he saw you, and when you made no move to greet them he and Dean quickly raced to your side. “Hey, Y/N, you OK?” he asked, brushing the hair behind your ear.

“Stupid fucking key wouldn’t go in the stupid fucking lock,” you told him bitterly, and you heard Dean pick them up.

“I see the brain tumour hasn’t dampened your potty mouth,” Dean told you wryly, and you lifted your head gently to look at him.

“Did you just joke about my cancer?” you asked him with a smirk. He cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the mention of the C word, but he pushed through it and gave a tight smile.

“Do you need Sam’s help to get inside?”

“Um, I don’t think so. I think I’ll be ok, thanks,” you responded, giving Sam a smile as you stood. You screamed at yourself internally when your left knee buckled, and quick as a flash Sam’s arms were around you.

“Y/N?” he asked, sounding more scared than you liked to hear from him. You closed your eyes and nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I’m ok, just tired. Maybe I could use the help after all,” you admitted, not daring to meet his gaze. You were grateful when he didn’t swoop you into his arms, instead wrapping your arm over his shoulder and supporting you as you walked into your living room together. Dean grabbed your bag and put it on the floor by the door as he closed it, following you both.

Once Sam had you seated on the couch he took the spot next to you, Dean opting to lean against the wall instead.

“Do you need anything?” Sam asked, watching you carefully.

You shook your head. “I’m ok. You guys help yourself though, there’s some beer in the fridge I think.” When Dean’s jaw clenched you gave a small smile. “I keep it there for you guys, I’m not drinking I swear.”

He relaxed and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest letting the room fall into an uncomfortable silence. You found yourself picking at your sweater sleeve as you considered your next move.

“Thank you,” you told them quietly. “For not making me feel completely useless right now. I’m sorry I blew up at the hospital, that wasn’t fair.”

“No, you’re under a lot of stress, we get it,” Sam told you kindly, and you shook your head.

“You didn’t deserve that. What you did deserve to know was that I’m sick, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t know how, I tried so many times but it just wouldn’t come out.”

“It’s a, uh, brain tumour?” Dean asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yer, found out about a couple of months ago I think. I dunno, the days are starting to run together a little bit.”

“What do the doctors say?” Sam asked, and you could hear the reluctance as he did. He didn’t want to know this anymore than you didn’t want to tell him. You sighed, and looked up to meet their gaze.

“It’s aggressive, growing fast and they can’t operate right now. They’re trying to slow it down and hopefully shrink it with chemo before looking at surgery as an option, but because of where it’s located and the speed that it’s growing they think there’s only a 5% chance they’ll be able to remove it before it… before it, ah…” you stumbled, clearing your throat as your eyes started to fill with tears. Shaking your head slightly, you swallowed down the massive lump in your throat before continuing. “I probably won’t make it, is basically what I’m trying to say.”

Silence filled the room, and you let it this time. You were beyond exhausted, the treatment and this conversation were draining the very last of your energy. Despite your best efforts your eyelids began to droop, you barely noticed when you started to slide toward the cushions. Gentle murmurs barely broke through your haze, and you couldn’t find the energy even to acknowledge the one of them who lifted you up bridal style and carried you up the stairs to your bedroom. The fluffy pillows and quilt enveloped you, and without ever opening your eyes you drifted off to sleep.

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Sam stood at your bedside, watching you sleep. He'd never seen you looking so vulnerable, and it was scaring the crap out of him. This wasn't a monster he could fight for you, not a battle he could try and win on your behalf. This was the one thing no hunter ever expected to die from, knowing it would simply be too cruel an irony to befall them. And yet here you were: half the size you used to be, pale as a ghost and so frail you could barely stand. He stayed watching you for a while, making an easy decision in the process. Regardless of what Dean thought, he wouldn't be leaving this house without you again.

“Hey, did she stay asleep?” Dean asked as Sam came down the stairs and through to the kitchen. He had cracked a couple of beers and was currently whipping up some pancakes, their first home cooked meal since the last time they were in your house 3 months ago.

“Yer. Um, Dean, we need to talk-”

“So I was thinking that Y/N might be better off in the downstairs bedroom,” Dean started, cutting Sam off. “If she wants to that is. Just makes sense with the chemo kicking her in the ass so bad. You could take the study next to her so one of us is nearby, and I could take her room. Or vice versa, I don’t mind. Oh, and I had a quick look and there's a job going at a garage a few blocks from here, figured I could go out after we ate something and see if they'll take me on. Thought you’d rather be home for Y/N to take her to appointments and such, so no need to find you a job. We can figure out the rest when she wakes up. Now, do you want strawberries or blueberries with your pancakes?”

As Dean turned around holding two plates of stacks he found Sam staring at him like he was possessed. Dean rolled his eyes and took the plates to the dining table, heading back to the fridge for the toppings leaving Sam to catch up.

“So… you want to stay?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Dean asked defensively as he sat down, quickly shoving a large bite of pancake into his mouth.

“I dunno,” Sam shrugged. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to go all apple pie life on me.”

“This is for Y/N. She's saved our lives more times than I can count, now it's our turn to save hers. She's family,” he said with finality, gently pushing Sam’s plate toward him and gesturing for him to sit down. Sam smiled broadly and did as requested, mentally planning out the new life they were making for themselves.

CONT.

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SERIES MASTERLIST - CHAPTER TWO

Tag Lists (Open)

Series Taglist: @deghostyboi , @dreaminemz

“Dean/Jensen” taglist: @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk, @perpetualabsurdity, @mlovesstories

“Everything” taglist: @angelsandwinchesters, @grace-for-sale, @growningupgeek, @iamnotsaneatall, @nanie5, @waywardasfudge, @im-dead-inside05, @julzdec, @adoptdontshoppets, @meghanbeinghappy, @sleepylunarwolf , @sammysgirl1997, @imaginationisgrowth, @screechingartisancashbailiff

People who requested tags, that I cannot tag (but will still mention because I feel bad :( ): @ronja-uebrick, @lilydarcy

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

Text

Friends in Dark Places [remastered; ch 3]

pairing: moxiety and logince (later on) with the addition of others if i feel like it

WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide, mentions of scars, mentions of throwing up, food mentions, mentions of pain, hospitals, ivs, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, swearing, a knife, blood, insensitive language regarding mental illness, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog

a/n: idk why linebreaks don’t wanna work so we’re just gonna pretend they’re there okay thanks bye

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9 - chapter 10 - chapter 11 - chapter 12

companion fics: exes and ‘oh’s

The first thought that popped into Virgil’s mind when he woke up was that it was far too bright. He squinted, trying to make out something. A dull, throbbing pain coursed through his wrists, and he groaned at the memories. Patton was going to give him so much shit.

It didn’t take too long for Virgil’s eyes to get adjusted to the bright lights. He was in a hospital room, and everything except for his blue smock was bright, clinical white. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with him--for the time being, at least--but a light blue backpack had been discarded on one of the chairs in the corner. Patton must have quickly thrown it together before they’d left.

The door slowly creaked open, and Virgil’s eyes snapped to the movement. Patton creeped through, only standing up straight once he’d realized that Virgil had woken up. A frown spread across his face as he moved to sit in the chair at Virgil’s right side.

“Virgil, you’re lucky that Logan and Roman had a free period today and were able to come get us to the hospital. What you did was very dangerous, though I’m sure that was your intention.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but obviously I did, and I’m so sorry about that. Still, we need to talk about your situation because you aren’t fit to be left on your own. I’m not going to force you into any situation you aren’t comfortable with, but I want to keep you safe.” Patton was speaking at a million miles an hour, barely comprehensible due to worry. Virgil shrugged and turned toward the only window in the room, watching the cars pass by on the road many stories below. In the back of his mind, he dreaded having to leave. He’d been in this hospital before on the rare occasion that a family member was dying, and from his memory, the local hospital only had elevators and emergency-only stairwells. Of course, Virgil was wildly afraid of elevators.

Patton was still talking when he tuned himself back in. “I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about your situation, so I cleared it with my parents, and we checked you in under my name and made sure that there would be complete confidentiality. You’ll be covered under my parent’s insurance, so you won’t have to pay for anything. They want to make sure you’re okay and are perfectly fine with this.” He knew that Patton was trying to be comforting, but it just made Virgil feel more guilty. He was taking so much from this family. They were committing fucking insurance fraud for him.

Hot pinpricks formed in Virgil’s eyes. He tried his damnedest to will them away, but they began to slip down his face regardless.

“Hey! Virge, it’s okay. What’s wrong, kiddo?” Patton placed a light hand on top of Virgil’s arm, avoiding the tender spots where the bandages had been wrapped around him. Virgil forced himself to look at his companion. He hadn’t noticed before, but Patton had intense bags under his eyes, suggesting that he hadn’t slept at all during the night. His guilt only grew.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil whispered. “I’m so, so sorry that you have to deal with my depressed emo garbage. You don’t deserve this.” He was a burden to everyone he met--merely bringing them down with him. There was no escape the sinking ship that was Virgil Thomas. Once you got on, it was hell on earth.

“Y’know,” Patton began. It was obvious that he was trying to pick his words out very carefully. “I’ve been in situations similar to yours. Although they weren’t nearly as intense, I’ve had great doubts about my self-worth. You really are a good person who deserves a good life, Virgil. I can just feel it. I really do want to help you, and I don’t care what I have to sacrifice to get you back on your feet.

“All of that aside, we need to talk about your living situation. Do you have anybody at home who will be worrying your whereabouts?” Patton laid expectant eyes on Virgil.

“Um, not really. My dad is almost always out of town, and my mom hasn’t been around for years.”

Patton nodded thoughtfully. “Alrighty then. Would you be okay with staying at my house for the foreseeable future? We would obviously have to grab your things from your house, but I’d feel better if you stayed with me. And I’m sure that you’ve seen that we have more than plenty of room for one other person.”

“I guess that’ll be okay.” Virgil’s voice was shaking slightly. He didn’t know whether he should be sad or happy. He was receiving so much kindness, yet he didn’t feel like he deserved it. His thoughts were interrupted when a nurse came into the room.

“Mr. Thomas? I need to ask Mr. Shea some questions. I’d ask that you leave the room… unless Mr. Shea is okay with you staying.” The nurse had a large smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes like Patton’s did.

“Um, I’d rather Pat--uh, Virgil stay in the room, if that’s all right.” Virgil gave her the best smile he could scrounge up, and she gave a curt nod, her brown hair swishing around her face. She took the seat on the opposite side of the bed from Patton.

“Mr. Shea, my name is Nurse Lucy. Do you remember what happened before you were admitted into the hospital?” Nurse Lucy pulled a pen from her pocket and began to write on the clipboard she’d had on the table next to her.

Truthfully, the events of the day had become fuzzy in Virgil’s mind. He could remember with clarity yelling at Patton and running to the bathroom. And then he punched the mirror and cut his knuckles, but after that? He had nothing.

“I don’t really remember anything…” Virgil’s face scrunched up just slightly in thought.

“Well, Mr. Shea, your friend with the tie told us you had a ‘severe panic attack,’ and Mr. Thomas followed up by saying you hurt yourself with ‘broken glass from a mirror’ and then passed out due to a mixture of blood loss and anxiety. Do you remember any of that happening?”

“I remember the panic attack and the mirror part; although, I remember the latter only vaguely.” The teen didn’t really like the direction that these questions were going. They were getting far too close to striking a nerve. As if he’d been reading the other’s thoughts, Patton piped up.

“Nurse Lucy, Vir-- Patton has been through a lot today. How long do you think these questions will take?” Virgil sent a silent thanks to whatever deity that was watching over him.

“Just a few more minutes, Mr. Thomas,” the nurse replied with a saccharine smile. “Mr. Shea, have you had any bouts of depression within the past four months?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered.

“And how long did the depression last?”

“It started when I was fourteen and has been on and off for the past three years.” His hands began to shake.

“Have you had suicidal ideations or attempted suicide in the past four months?” The clinical tone of the nurse’s voice caused Virgil’s breath to hitch. Patton gave a small squeeze, reminding Virgil that he was still there.

“Yes. To both.”

“How long have you been having suicidal thoughts?”

“Since I turned sixteen.” He raised his left hand and ran it through his hair. He already knew the next question she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth.

“When was the last time you attempted to commit suicide?” Time seemed to freeze in the room. Virgil glanced over at Patton, who had a pained expression on his face. Lines of worry were etched across his fair skin, and his normal smile was pressed into a harsh frown.

“Today,” Virgil whispered. It was the truth, and he was sure Patton knew it regardless of if he wanted to believe it or not. He looked at his feet, refusing to let his gaze shift to either of the people at his sides.

“I see,” Nurse Lucy said with sterile crispness. “Since you were admitted due to injuries from a mental illness and have admitted to other mental instabilities, you will need to stay in the hospital for at least three days for further mental examination.” She stood up and smoothed out her pants.

“Um, Nurse, will I be allowed to stay during the exams?” Patton’s soft voice broke through the unrelenting silence.

“That depends on the doctor’s specifications. If you have any questions, I can leave his phone number here so you can discuss with him. Now, if you two will excuse me, I have another patient that I need to check up on.” Virgil could hear her clicking footsteps leave the room and the hollow thunk of the door closing.

“Virge, will you please look at me?” Patton asked with genuine sweetness in his voice, not the fake sugary bullshit that the nurse had given him. Virgil turned his head slowly. His breathing was becoming shallow, and he could feel a panic attack coming on.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? You are going to be okay. I’m going to stay with you through all of it, even if the doctor wants me to leave.” A whole new wave of tears began to stream down Virgil’s face. This time, however, Patton climbed into the hospital bed, bringing his new friend into his arms, not caring about the tears that would end up staining his shirt. They stayed in that position, Virgil crying into Patton’s shoulder, until the former fell asleep.

---

“I don’t understand why we have to run errands for some kid that we barely even know!” Roman complained, crossing his arms with a huff. He and Logan had received a text from Patton that, as soon as school let out, they needed to go to the house of the kid they’d drove to the hospital and pick up anything they thought he’d need, whether it be clothes or electronics or whatever.

“Technically, Roman, we’re not running errands for Virgil. We’re running errands for Patton, who happens to be working to help a stranger. This is for our friend.” Logan turned off the engine of his disgustingly old Dodge Intrepid. He shoved open the squeaky door and walked up to the porch of the large white house.

“Yes, but--” Roman argued as he’d exited from the passenger seat-- “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t he do it?”

“Did you see how Patton was acting when we were checking Virgil into the hospital? He was an emotional wreck. I doubt he’d even leave Virgil’s side if we threatened to murder a puppy right in front of his face. He obviously has some sort of emotional attachment to the kid.” Logan punched in the code to unlock the door. The way that Patton had gotten the code was a mystery that Logan would probably never be able to solve. Shaking the thought from his mind, he pushed open the door and led Roman inside.

The inside of the house was just as plain as the outside. Light grey linoleum tiles lined the floor, and every surface was painted white. Even the doors were white. It was the biggest disgrace to the profession of interior design that either of the teenagers had ever seen.

“The bedroom is upstairs, correct?” Logan asked, looking around for any semblance of a clue that indicated someone actually lived in this house. The whole thing was oddly bare; there were just a few pieces of furniture in each room that he could see.

“Yeah, second door on the right.” Roman had already made it halfway up the stairs by the time he’d finished his sentence. Logan sighed and followed his dramatic friend.

It would have been easy to find out which room was the correct one even if they hadn’t had the directions. The door to Virgil’s room had been painted black and stuck out like a sore thumb against the blaring white of everything else. Roman swung the door open and walked inside with a flourish that only he would add.

“What a dreary nightmare this place is.” Roman grabbed a vinyl sleeve that had been discarded on the floor. American Beauty / American Psycho by Fall Out Boy. With a slight eye roll, he shucked the sleeve onto the desk to his left. He looked to Logan and saw that he’d had already gathered a pile of assorted black clothes onto the black duvet. Shocking.

Roman let out a long sigh and gathered things from the desk. He took a few notebooks that were labeled with school subjects and their corresponding binders, a pencil case, a pair of over-ear headphones and attached cell phone, a well used black eyeshadow single, and a weird little cube with a bunch of buttons on it. He placed them on the bed and grabbed a backpack from the floor, stuffing his finds into it. Logan had pulled a suitcase from somewhere-- probably the closet--and had begun to neatly fold clothes and pack them up.

“I’m going to search for the bathroom to grab Mr. Black Sky’s toiletries.” All Roman got in response was a nod. With a slight eye roll, he left the room and began to peek into each room in the hallway. The one third on the right turned out to be another bedroom, as was the fourth, the one across the hall from that one was a linen closet, and the two down the hall were completely empty. Last, he checked the first door on the right. He opened the door and found a pristinely clean bathroom, minus the spread of toiletries across the counter.

Roman grabbed the toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush that was laying on the ground near the edge of the counter. He picked up a small rectangular metal thing that was hidden behind a stack of washcloths. It suddenly snapped open to reveal a small knife that had little flecks of blood on it. His stomach dropped, and he quickly closed the blade, nearly throwing it back onto the counter.

His mind strayed back to the time when Pat had been having a rough time. He and Logan had stayed up until ungodly hours researching things to help. Roman remembered when he’d clicked on a link and was brought to a website about cutting with graphic images of scars and cuts. Although he was not normally squeamish around blood, the thought of his friend hurting himself had nearly made him throw up.

He’d seen similar scars on Virgil when he’d helped Logan patch up his cuts. A shiver ran through his body. He didn’t want to think about that.

“Roman? Have you acquired everything that you need?” Logan’s voice called from the room over. Roman shook his shoulders and stood up straighter.

“Yeah, Lo. I’ll be there in just a moment.” After throwing one last glance at the knife on the counter, he made his way back to Virgil’s bedroom. Logan grabbed the toiletries from his hands and shoved them into the backpack before slipping it onto his shoulder. The two brought the bags out to the car and stowed them in the back seat. Roman’s memories from the bathroom were soon forgotten when he received another text from Patton.

Patton Delivered at 3:30 pm Virge has to stay in the hospital for the next few days for mental examination. They’re worried about him attempting suicide again. If you guys could pick up a stuffed animal from the gift shop, I’d really appreciate it! <333

Roman Read at 3:31 pm Of course, Pat! We’re just leaving the house now, so we’ll be at the hospital soon. Do you need anything?

Patton Delivered at 3:31 pm Just a water bottle. See you guys when you get here! <33333

Patton Delivered at 3:47 pm I just realized I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast. Can you grab me something to eat in the cafeteria?

Roman Read at 3:50 pm I’ll add it to the list of things we need to do that Logan’s forcing me to write. Be there in 15.

Patton Delivered at 3:50 pm Awesome! <3

Patton Delivered at 3:54 pm Roman?

Roman Read at 3:54 pm Yes, Patton?

Patton Delivered at 3:55 pm Thank you both. I really appreciate what you’re doing for Virge and I.

Roman Read at 3:56 pm It’s no problem Patton. You’ve had a rough day and deserve some rest.

Patton Delivered at 3:56 pm You and Logan are fam ILY.

chapter 4

#sanders sides fic #m writes things #moxiety #logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

Text

OPM s2 e9 Live Blog

“The Troubles of the Strong”

GOSH DANG 2 HOUR COMMUTES FROM WORK I woke up at 4am just to get to work early specifically so I could leave early I could watch this episode sooner because THIS IS THE EPISODE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER OK Ive just been vibrating at my desk all day fluctuating somewhere between ‘awerstdyfcvgbjhkn’ and ‘SADFVYNTBGVRFCE’ IM NOT mentally or emotionally prepared so WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY IMMA WATCHHHH

as always I’m watching from the perspective of someone who is up to date on the Web comic and Manga

“I know that head” *Immediatley cuts to opening theme* I SCREAM i wasnt expecting that nor am I prepared to see Zombieman not even the same 2 pictures of him that ive seen all season help my stomach is in knots and i cannot

asdfghjkl I can tell already this live blog is gonna be SOOOOO BIAS just cause IM WAITING for THE THING annd the rest is great and all but I CANT FOCUS ON ANYTHING Im really not gonna do the episode over all justice im sorry sdfghjk

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CALLED IT IT WAS SONIC THE DOODLE WAS SONIC i was holding my breath cause I knew there was a VERY SLIM CHANCE it would be Z but i felt it in my gut It would be sonic uhg phew ok not dead yet

lol Bakuzan stopping mid boast and just screaming dude you should’ve known then and there to quit oh my god the music is SO excessive right now I’m very distracted it better be part of the gag… or not ok

Saitama just casually explaining stuff I love him so much sweetheart,,, pft “I was bored”, honestly I just appreciate how anime captures the beats every time Saitama delivers a line like that, we expect it but it never fails to make me cackle. Also, “that kind of strength should be illegal” he says to SAITAMA yeah ok

OH!!!! GENOS BB stop getting obliterated please Dr. Kuseno is old what are you going to do when you can’t rely on him for repairs and EYYY Shout out to Atomic, Tatumaki, Flash, and King for the cameos. Genos, are you really underestimating your Sensei like that?? Are you the real genos?????

OH MY GOD DID THEY JUST GIVE SUIRYU A SAITAMA FACE WHAT IS THIS CURSED IMAGE

ok in all seriousness Suiryu’s voice actor is killin it like I legit feel bad for they guy getting dragged by Saitama, U hav my respect Suiryu I still might not like you all that much but damn u makin me feel that character development

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FACE

guys I love saitama so much be still my heart it hurts ;-; this scene chouldne be as heart warming as it is right now hhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRISONER PRISONER FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSDGFSDGS I FORGOT U WERE GONNA SHOW UP I HAVE AN ODD LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHARACTER BUT GD ARE YOU ENTERTAINING AS HELL HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYOU BIG HAPPY IDIOT IM SCREAMING IM SO CONCERNED OH MY GOD THEY SHOWED THE BUTT RINGING I FEEL SO CONFLICTED AM I EXCITED?? SCARED?? PROBABLY BOTH

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok so now that the tournament is officially over I know theres still a lot to cover this ep before Z???? BUT my bloodpressure WILL NOT CALM DOWN cause WHAT IF they do thingS OUT of ORDER IM ON HIGH ALERT HIGH ALERT WHAT IF I DIE

OH HI KING HELP IM HAVING ANXIETY YOU KNOW HOW THAT BE RIGHT MY DUDE aw omg how are they both so cute looking right now??? WAIT also that was a smooth transition from Saitama Face™ to serious face woah ?? You know, with all that talk I wonder what the end game is for Saitama? Like, will the series end seriously or on a joke? He gonna find a real challenge or will it somehow be another one-punch? I am completely undecided tbh…

...i wanted king to finish saying “daze” so badly right thereu said yare yare plz give me the meme plz Ok the way Saitama keeps saying ‘Kinggu’ is weirding me out also ng is great and this is very nicely drawn

...plussireaditinamanga… PFFFTTT the VOICE ACTING-- King is such a good friend for Saitama really thank goodness for him ASDFGHJKL THE WHOLE REST OF THE EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD ‘OK JERKOFF’ im d y i n g

I MISSED YOU PLZ COME BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED BEING A LIL SHIT PLZ UR BEAUTIFUL also the king movements on the bike looked pretty neato

OK Honestly though why does no one know what the Hero Hunter is supposed to look like?? How is that not common knowledge among heroes by now?????

SCREECHING IM SCREECHING THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS EPISODE (i hope???? its running kinda late and I’m worried???????) THE NINJAS THE NINJA DUO ITS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM theyre so pretty i cri ????

OK MONSTER WIND LOOKS REALLY COOL I DIG I DIGGGG also I REALY dig the ominous music and as this scene is nearing its end MY HEART IS POUNDING HELP

MARSHALL GORILLA IM HYPERVENTILATING AND SCREAMING AND MY PALMS ARE SWEATING ARM SPAGHETTI HELP MY EYES ARE WATERING TOO

my hands are shaking as im typing and i cant stop laughing nervously and my through is dry this is NOT NORMAL typing is hard im afraid to push play im afraid

its been 5 minutes i cant push play i cant

I MADE A MISTAKE THEY DIDNT SHOW THE OTHER HEROES FIRST HES ON MY SCREEN I CANT STOP MY LEGS SHAKING I BREATHE

tfw ive been just mumbling oh my god oh my god nope nope nope for 10 minutes help help help nope

hes on my screen but i cant push play i cant open the tab i cant

everything is so much easier if i didnt FEEL but I have FEELINGS \

I cant even look at him i cant hes too perfect help

30 minutes i can breathe but like shaking ???? ???

ok it only took 45 minutes alright ok ok ok open the tab and PUSH the BUTTON

I lied it took an hour i still cant look at the screen im gonna die this man will be the death of me I CANT GO 2 SECONDS WITHOUT PAUSING AND SCREAMING WHY CAN I REREAD THE CHAPTER OVER AND OVER BUT CANT LISTEN TO HIM FOR 2 SECONDS WHY

OK im gonna start counting how many times I’ve paused from now on its been AT LEAST 8 so lets start there.

11 long pause his voice im crying his face

13 just look at him I cant my stomach

14 “DRAT” help me

15 i keep switching tabs but cant push play again oh no

18 I just noticed he definitely has eyebrows here asdfghjkl

NO COME BACK TORTURE ME SOME MORE WITH YOUR PERFECT GENERAL PRESENCE that was the most exhausting 1.5 hours asdfghjkl what if they dont make a season 3 what if I never see him in motion again what if i just die

OH MY GOD DRIVE KNIGHT MY MYSTERIOUS SON THANK YOU I CAN BREATHE DISTRACT ME PLZ

WAIT

DESTROCHLORIDIUM I CANT HANDLE THIS EPISODE I JUST REALLY CANT I JUST AND THE HEKKIN CAPTION HE GOT A BAD CASE OF THE RUNS AND OMFG MY FAVORITE GAROU MOMENT FROM THE MANGA THUS FAR NEXT WEEK I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i… no recap this week. i think my feelings on the ep are obvious. Thanks for reading and somehow managing to get this far? I appreciate yall so much really. Thank you for following me being nuts as I am. I seriously mean it. I’ll see yall next week with the next with the next episode!

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lowsodiumfreaks67 · 6 years

Text

Comic Con Chris Evans

Word Count : 1520

Warnings : Absolutely none

Masterlist

Requested by @midgardiansstuff

“ Hey I just saw that your requests were open!I just found your blog and i already love it! Can I do a request with Chris Evans? The reader is married and she is an actress, too. Maybe the reader is at the tonight show and they show a video in which the reader wears a costume so no one recognize her and she surprises Chris at the Comic Con and he doesn’t recognize her, too until she pulls down her wig? “

A/N : I loved the story idea, hope I did it justice :)

“ Our first guest this evening is one of the stars of the Avengers movies and the wife of fellow Avenger Chris Evans, everyone please welcome back the one and only Y/n Evans ” the audiences cheers hit you like a wall when the curtain was lifted revealing you standing there in an emerald green dress with matching heels, you grinned wide as you made your way over to Jimmy’s couch. Hugging Jimmy tightly you both said your hellos before taking a seat as the cheers from the audience finally calmed enough that you could hear yourselves again.

“ Hey everyone ” you said with a wave to the audience which made them go absolutely wild again “ Oh my gosh Y/N it is so amazing to have you here again, now I know you’ve been very busy filming and doing conventions and press so thank you for taking the time to come here tonight” , “ Oh Jimmy I wouldn’t miss this for the world, although it is weird being here by myself and not with Chris or another cast member “, Jimmy reaches below the desk and pulls out a photo of the last time you were on the show sat beside your husband Chris “ Ah yes your husband fellow avenger Chris Evans, how long have you guys been married now ? “, thinking back fondly to the day you married your best friend you smiled softly “ Um it’ll be our 5 year anniversary next week actually “ the crowd cheered and clapped, Jimmy had a cheeky look in his eyes “ 5 years wow that’s amazing it feels just like yesterday you guys announced you were engaged, no sign of any kids yet? “ your cheeks burned hot, you chuckled quietly “ Uh no not yet, we’ve both been super busy with stuff and the Avengers movies, we just haven’t found the right time yet”, “ Ah yes the Avengers, how did you manage to convince them to let you join the cast when they already had one Evans on set “ “ well Jimmy don’t tell Chris I said this but the Russo brothers said they wanted to have the better Evans on set as well “ the audience erupted into laughter at your statement, the interview then continued on for a little with a few questions about the avengers and upcoming projects.

“ Alright so you mentioned that you flew to San Diego last weekend to see your husband but he didn’t know that you were doing that did he ? “ you chuckled to yourself because you knew where this was going “ Yeah I did, we hadn’t seen each other face to face in a few weeks and I was getting pretty lonely so I decided to fly out and surprise him at Comic Con and got a friend of mine to film the whole trip “ “ Oh yeah you definitely surprised him alright “ Jimmy laughed as he turned to the camera “ Here we have the video of Y/N surprising her husband Captain America himself Chris Evans at San Diego Comic Con “ he gestured to the screen behind him as the studio got slightly darker to let everyone see the screen clearly, your face popped up on the screen behind you as the video began with you standing in your living room at yours and Chris shared home addressing the camera.

“ Hey guys, so I've been apart from my husband Chris for a few weeks now because of work and iv started to get a little lonely” walking over to your suitcase you pulled your messenger bag over your shoulder “ So I've decided what’s better than face time and calls ? well how about travelling to San Diego Comic Con to surprise him “ the video then showed you walking towards your front door before you turned back “ Oh and get ready Chris cause i’m going to be coming for ya when you least expect it “ the video cut to a montage of the airport, the flight and car journey to the hotel.

The next shot is of you in a hotel room with a Captain America Civil War costume on, it was one of Chris on screen costumes that had been kindly given to you and altered by the Marvel wardrobe department, “ Okay so we’re almost ready to go Y/N how are you feeling now ? “ your friend asked from behind the camera as you pulled on your boots “ Umm yeah i’m getting a little nervous cause I don’t know how this is gonna pan out but I hope it works “ pulling your helmet over your head you grabbed grabbing your shield you turned to the camera “ How do I look guys, think i’ll get recognized ?” the next shot was of you standing outside the convention center getting ready to go in “ Before anyone says anything because I know someone will, I do have this slightly planned, only Chris assistant knows i’m here cause I obviously have to let them know when im coming, let’s not waste anymore time and get in there “ you practically ran towards the entrance whooping and cheering as you went, showing your pass you were allowed into the convention center quickly without any trouble. There was a short montage of you walking around the convention floor looking at all the stalls and pointing out pictures and figurines of yourself and the Avengers, you didn’t usually get to do this at events so it was amazing to get out there amongst the fans even though they had no clue that it was you down there walking amongst them.

The video finally cut to you standing behind a blue curtain “ Ahh i’m so excited, so i’m stood behind the curtain of Chris photo op, he’s literally right there and has no idea what’s going on “ you pointed to the curtain behind you where you could see the faint shadow of Chris posing for photos with fans, with a large grin on your face you pulled your helmet back down over your face “ Lets go get into line and surprise him “ the camera followed you as you joined the line for a photo, after a while waiting you were finally next, Chris assistant came over to get your photo op ticket, when they realized it was you they gave you a small nod and sent you over to Chris.

“ Wow dude that costume is absolutely incredible “ he said happily as you walked towards him, honestly your hands were sweating so bad you were glad you had the finger less gloves on “ Uh yeah damn thing cost quite a bit “ you said quickly with a chuck which made Chris laugh too, you made sure to change your voice a little as to not give anything away just yet, he was about to say something else when his assistant called his name “ Chris sorry buddy but can you come over here for just a second “ I’m so sorry about this i’ll be 2 seconds “, “ Its alright i understand “ the second his back was turned you looked over at the few fans who could see you and gestured at them to stay quiet before removing the helmet, “ Sorry about that, what you say we get this photo done, got any poses in mind ? “ Chris asked as he began turning back around but he froze on the spot when he saw you in front of him “ Well i was thinking you could give me a big hug Cap “ you grinned as he finally stepped towards you and pulled you into him and lifted you off the ground in a tight bear hug, the fans at the side cheered and awed when he set you back down but quickly pulled you into a sweet kiss, you heard the camera go off as the photographer caught the moment for you guys.

The video then ended and the lights in the studio brightened again as the audience cheered, clapped and awed “ Wow Y/N you really did surprise him, that costume was amazing I hope you gotta keep it “ you were about to answer when you felt someone's hands on your shoulders “ Yeah Jimmy she did keep it, it’s right next to my cap costume in the closet “ you whipped your head around quickly to see Chris standing behind you, within seconds you were on your feet rounding the sofa to hug him, as you greeted him Jimmy sent the show to commercial break “ okay I think it’s about time for a break, thank you to the wonderful Y/N for coming on and talking to us and for sharing the video and thank you to Chris for coming by to say Hello, we’ll see you back here in a few minutes “ the audience cheered as you and Chris said your goodbyes and headed towards your dressing room “ Well i guess you can say we’re even with the surprises now “ Chris chuckled as he pulled you into his side when you flopped down on the small couch “ Yeah i guess you could say that “ you whispered with a smile as you snuggled into him, it was hard being apart from each other but it was like heaven when you were together.

#Chris Evans #chris evans imagines #captain america #Steven Rogers #Steven Grant Rogers #steven rodgers imagines #captain america imagines #marvel #marvel imagine #civil war #infinity war #avengers 4

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wildfangz · 5 years

Photo

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want.

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’. i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust.

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway!

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

#tag meme #about #srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache #and was doing everything but laying down!!!!

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table-top-romulan-playing-games · 5 years

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Movies I have seen so far in 2018

A few of these arent new movies, just ones ive watched for the first time in 2018. I felt like doing this cuz I really love watching movies and felt that it might be a good version of those "good things" jars, but instead it's movies I saw. Some reviews are short, mostly cuz I didnt really have much in the way of opinions, but I did have something to say.

Just incase you havent seen them. I have tried to keep them spoiler free, but if you dont want even vague non spoiler spoilers, the list of movies is as follows;

The Grand Budapest; The greatest showman; Jumanji: out of the jungle, King Arthur: legend of the sword, The Black Panther, Shape of water, Thor Ragnarok, the Emoji Movie, the Good Dinosaur, Jurassic world, Incredibles 2, Hotel Transylvania 3, Ant-man, A Wrinkle in Time, Lara croft: tomb raider, Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2, Spider-man homecoming, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged), Captain America civil war, Avengers Infinty War, Deadpool 2016, King Arthur the one with kiera knightly, Deadpool 2, The Nutcracker, four realms, Venom, Love, Simon, Ready player one, Aquaman, Solo, a star wars story, Ghost stories (2018), Wreck it Ralph, Ralph breaks the internet, Goosebumps 2, Hidden figures, The meg, Pacific Rim, Pacific rim uprising, Wrath of the Titans, Mission impossible: fallout,Oceans 8, The Breadwinner, Mune, Operation Finale, The House With A Clock In Its Walls, Bad times at the El Royale, Outlaw king, Gnome alone, Journey to the center of the earth, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, Vvitch, Ex machina, To all the boys ive loved before, Extraordinary Tales, The Golden Compass, Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil, Dragon heart, The black klansman, Robin Hood 2018, The Princess of Thieves, First Man, Bohemian Rhapsody, What we do in the Shadows, Overlord, For the Love of Spock, Next Gen, Small Foot, The Spy who Dumped Me, The Nun, Kin, Crazy Rich Asians, Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse, A simple favor, Predator 2018, Rampage, 47 meters down, 2036 Origin Unknown, 2001 A Space Oddessey, The Martian

The grand Budapest hotel - good, great visuals. I enjoyed it.

The greatest showman - wonderful music, actual circus parts were good, the rest was boring. Its really short, and I felt it focused to much on the drama in pt barnums life, too much focus on a silly fuax love triangle, not enough on the acts themselves. I went in hoping to see the acts interact and actually be presented as the forefront. The beginning showed this magnificent scene with the acts, with this wonderful musical number that made me tear up. But then, it was just about Barnum and his kids being boring most of the time. The songs and musical scenes though? Absolutely wonderful, magnificent, stunning, and entertaining. Zendayas and Zac efrons characters duets? Beautiful, I loved the song and choreography. I just feel like the emphasis should have been on the circus itself. Hugh jackman. Needs. To. Do. More. Musicals.

Jumanji: out of the jungle - hilarious omg I laughed my ass off!

King Arthur: legend of the sword: wtf was this movie bro? I mean. I have a new song in my cars playlist, but wtf.

The Black Panther - IT WAS SO COOL! I loved the visuals and the storyline. Shuri is my favorite genius and I can’t wait for more Black Panther

Shape of water: absolutely beautiful omg

Thor Ragnarok: you mean that was the actual movie, that tumblr wasn’t just fuckin with me, like, those were real ass scenes that were filmed?

the Emoji Movie: bad, forgettable, literally did not remember watching it till a friend asked me.

the Good Dinosaur: literally a children's movie, idek why I watched it tbh

Jurassic world: THE HUBRIS OF MAN! THE INDO RAPTOR! BLUE! They made... An indoraptor. Not just any raptor, oh no, that's not enough for the hubris of man, its an indoraptor. What's an indoraptor you may ask? Well it's when you mix a raptor, with the indominous rex DNA. But Cotie, didn't the indominous rex already have raptor DNA? Wasnt that the whole thing that it was a t-rex with raptor DNA? Yes, yes it was. But this one is different, it's smaller, it's smarter, it made to obey commands like a war machine, it's the I N D O R A P T O R! So it's just a super powered velociraptor? Yes, yes it is. So what makes it special? THE HUBRIS BEHIND IT!

Incredibles 2: awesome! I loved it! Those flashing scenes really were no joke though. I don't have epilepsy, but damn those scenes were hard to look at. But I absolutely love the fact that edna babysat jack jack for a night, and gave him a super babysuit. I hope we get to see more of the other superheroes helping out the incredibles!

Hotel Transylvania 3: it was a good movie. Its the only Adam Sandler movie series I can stand, but it was a decent movie. I like the introduction of the van helsing family, and the whole premise. Plus I love the message that its possible to fall in love again.

Ant-man: "in like the Flynn" niiiiiiiiice Tangled ref! "ANT-THONY!!!!" Ok that was a fun and hilarious movie. I fucking love the three wombats, especially Luis omg. Also I love Scott lang relationship with his daughter and that he was the driving force behind his motivation. Also not gonna lie, I kinda watched this one so I could go see Ant-man and the Wasp, but I liked this one too.

A Wrinkle in Time: FUCK ITUNES NOT WANTING TO WORK DURING THIS MOVIE! ok but Chris Pine as a Dad? Awesome. "Happy anniversary, if only you'd dissapear too" wow, these high school preps are viscous. Also I love the little kid calling out grown ups for being pieces of shits. Also this movie was adorable and heart felt and I loved the mix of fantasy and science that made it a science fantasy movie omg.

Lara croft: tomb raider: ok but the girl who kicked Lara crofts butt in the beginning has me gay as Fuck man. "OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" OK calm down Nicolas cage.

Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2: omg that was indeed another real marvel movie I had just seen. I can't believe the stooges are a space family that just, does stupid things. I love them all.

We gonna start some parralels; a wrinkle in time - a movie about two siblings trying to find their dad who has been lost for 4 years. They get him back through the power of love; Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - a daughter finds some adverturing stuff to lead her to her father who had been missing for 7 years. Tries to get him back by killing men. Doesn't, and then kills more men; Gaurdians of the Galaxy volume 2: a boy finds his father after 34 years, but turns out he is a huge fucking jerk, also finds that Mary poppins was his dad after all, but then both Mary poppins and jerk dad died, with varying degrees of mourning from Boy.

Spider-man homecoming: omg so many second hand embarrassment scenes but it was so good! I laughed my ass off at the ending omg tony no. But also, that awkward moment when ur dates dad threatens your life and he actually meant it...

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Dude. Duuuuuuude that end credit scene. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. That movie was just as hilarious as the first ant-man movie omg! It was fun and incredibal and I'm so happy the 3 combats were there. I was losing my shit over the baba yaga stuff!

Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged): god, I'm 9 minutes in and I hate this movie... 13 minutes in an ur telling me this could've been avoided if marvel hadnt turned two Romani (from what I remember of mutant canon) characters into, not only human expirements instead of mutants, but voluntary hydra agents. -sighhhh-... 20 minutes in and why, why Tony, just... Tell the team, why do we gotta have lazy 'i dont wanna communicate' writing bullshit...Jarrrrrviiiiissssss my boy T.T... Did they really just try to make dissimising female characters and using their achievements as a sort of 'my horse is bigger than yours' as quality character writing? God this Bruce/Nat romance is so forced... Oh no, Ultron fucking appeared, why does he sound like a bad Tony stark impression? Ultron is fucking annoying... Fuck man, the plot with the twins have arrived, and I hate it... -mentions Wakanda- thanks for reminding of a better movie I could be watching... God, the acting is either way too dry, or way too ham... Wow... Clint is... The most mature person in the movie... Wow, the scene where Nat reveals she is infertile, is worse than I thought it would be, and I knew it would be awful... Hour and a half in, still bad... Though ultron is now acting like a c h i l d... Oh no, now we creating Ultron 2.0 this time its Jarvis... Please discuss it with the team, pleeeease... Annnnnnnd U didn't... Fuck... I'm so tired, 1 hour and 31 minutes and the team is fighting... Thor coming in for the jarvis Saaaave! Yassss vision with the worthy of the hammer! Okay the battle scene with ultron was pretty cool. Still dont like the movie over all.

Captain America civil war: not as much fighting as advertised. Too much 'we arent going to sit down and communicate' trope. Honestly I was too bored and tired to really actually pay attention to closely... All I got from it is the russos need to learn what a get along shirt is and be better film makers.

Avengers Infinty War: wtf, what the fuck, was that. That was some fuck right there. You are telling me thanos was really able to get the soul stone like That? And the mind stone like That? And all that other bull shit? Y'all Russo better be ready to have thanos ass kick in the next avengers movie. But damn that was some shit that happened.

Deadpool 2016: I loved every bit of the movie omg, it was everything I hoped for out of a deadpool movie.

King Arthur the one with kiera knightly: That uh, sure was a King Arthur movie? Way less weird than King Arthur Legend of the sword. Merlin didnt cast magic, and arthur was a Roman, but guinevere is a kick ass archer, soooo acceptable...

Deadpool 2: THAT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS I LOVE DEADPOOL SO MUCH! god I love this movie, I would die for dominoe.

The Nutcracker, four realms: such a cute af movie omggggggggggggg. I loved Captain Phillip the nutcracker soldier and the gold highlight they put on his lips 💓

Venom: listen. I did no t see this film for quality. I saw it for the symbi ote ok. Ok. I lov it. But blease for the love of god.... Y.... Did...... The......... Symbiote........ Take the shape of a sexy comic book lady..... When........ The same sexyness could have been achieved by letting the symbiote be big beefy orc like lady....

Love, Simon: I'm not one for these films... I dont like these films... They are teary eyed wholesome cake frosting that make my cold gay heart sick... That being said... I relate, I relate so much... Also... If I was in simons shoes and the blackmailing weasle Martin outed me? They would still be scraping him off the pavement... That is all.

Ready player one: it wasn’t as bad as some of the things i heard about it on tumblr, but its not one I will watch again.

Aquaman: "show off, heh, I could've just pee'd on it" is the exact quality line I want out of my films. Also that was soooooooo awesome! I loved it! More Aquaman!

Solo, a star wars story: Not bad, but not great, it kept on plot really well, not memorable but I won’t knock it. I still say the actor playing Han Solo looks photoshopped and not real.

Ghost stories (2018): awful... It was slow and boring, and I didnt like it... I rented it through itunes and it glitched part of the way through and I stopped being able to see the picture. Even after I got it working again I still didnt like it... Though I did like the message of "dont be a bystander", but the whole this was boriiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggggg.

Wreck it Ralph: okay, technically I caught the beginning like 4 or 5 years ago, but I finally actually watched it and it wasnt bad. Will go see the sequel.

Ralph breaks the internet: WAYYYYYY better than the emoji movie, also, I really loved the princesses scene, the bright colors, and following Venelope through the internet... Also.... Ralph........ WTF..................... Also............................. that Stan Lee cameo.................................... Heartbreaking............

Goosebumps 2: Mr. Chu and his Halloween obsession is me... Stones appearence had me dying omg... Also where tf r ppl getting these awesome super cool Halloween stuffs!

Hidden figures: IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING! omg such a great movie i fucking loved it. Couldnt understand a WORD of math that went on, but damn girls, calculate that shit.

The meg: listen... Listen... The trailer looked stupid... And ridiculous... I just... Wanted to know how bad... And it was bad... But it was incredibally enjoyable omg... I loved it... In all seriousness, it was actually a pretty beautiful movie when it came to marine life and the wonder behind it, and it was anti shark culling for fins, and it was very clearly "not all sharks are bad, they do as they do, but megalodon is about to fuck our shit up."... It was also fucking hilarious... My favorite character was meiying, the little 8 year old in the movie... The love plot wasnt forced and they way they did it the two leads were not having it and had actual chemistry... Just... Also the dog... The dog does not die... Pippin lives... The wedding is not ruined... Also the shark ate a billionaire soooooooo... We good meg... We good...

Pacific Rim: yes I know, I took a long ass time to watch this movie... But Listen... Explody robots and monsters... Hannibal chau... Look... I just... Sometimes take a long time to watch movies... You wanna know how long it took me to watch Merlin BBC? I watched every episode as it came out and then put off the last episode for 5 years... Listen...

Pacific rim uprising: ok I watched the first one so I could watch the one with my boi John Boyega in it.

Wrath of the Titans: wtf kind of movie... Like really what the f... Since when is zues ever responsible and wise.

Mission impossible, fallout: I liked it. It's an action movie. Saw it for my birthday, kinda interested in the other mission impossible movies now. I appreciate the advance tech and the obviously stupid impossible shit.

Oceans 8: Listen, i have never been interested in the Oceans franchise, i dont want to see crusty men steal things, but lads, im gay. Extremely gay, just, shamelessly gay.

The Breadwinner: holy shit that was a good movie.

Secret of the Kells: eh, it was a good movie. Not my favorite, but it was good. I mostly just like the animation.

Mune: Guardian of the Moon: dat was a cute movie, and also i loved Munes Design, he is a little fawn

Operation Finale: Wow, that was an amazing film, absolutely superb. Not at all like the trailers. Seriously, what is it and trailers where everything has to either be an high stakes action movie or a romantic comedy? but this film, spectacular.

The House With A Clock In Its Walls: A Neat little movie. Corny, but i liked it. like, its a kids movie in the same way A Wrinkle In Time is, but this one was little less disney-fied in the way that they needed to have this overarching lesson of empowerment, and more “this is a kids movie to enjoy, like Halloweentown”

Bad times at the El Royale: neat movie, somewhat engaging, kept losing focus at the slow parts... Liked the Chapter title cards... Can't remember who that "important person" was supposed to be.... I think I may have missed it...

Outlaw king: I liked it! Way better than Braveheart! Also.... Cpine was not that naked.... Butt....

Gnome alone: weird, didn't like it, like a bad combo of Mean Girls and Coraline?

Journey to the center of the earth: I said old movies were gonna be on this list now didnt I? Also this movie was awesome and I wish the book was real too.

Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy: Nice!!! I had been meaning to read the book before I watched the movie, but I've packed my book away soooo, MOVIE. Also out of all thw sci fi movies that have destroyed planets, this is by far the only good one.

Vvitch: it was okay... By the middle I was kinda wishing it would go faster. But it was okay.

Ex machina: I'm not done with the movie yet but it's so fucking creepy holy shit... Also "its kinda non-autistic" in relation to "aware of her own mind and mine"???? Wtffffffff.uggggghhhhhhhhhh ewwwweeweeewewweeeewwwwwww the talk about giving the robot a sexuality is so grooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss he gave her a working vag and hearing him talk about fucking the robot was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Mmmmmmmm no, did not like.

To all the boys ive loved before: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Also that sibling relationship was..... Relatable.

Extraordinary Tales: tales based on Edgar Allen Poe and holy sweet Jesus I loved it, it has multiple different art styles per story and I loved them soooooo much!

The Golden Compass: okay but how could you end on that cliffhanger and not at least put out another movie????

Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil: based on Basque folklore which I know nothing of, but it looked neat. It's also originally in basque but netflix has the English dub over. AND HOLY SWEET JESUS I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY BUT THE VOICE OVERS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Dragon heart: I didnt like it, there were better movies I could have seen, I'm not gonna reach for this one again...

The Black Klansman: Damn, I might very well be speechless. That was a Fantastic Movie, came at you like a bag of Bricks, and the ending when it went straight from a cross burning to the 2017 neo nazi rallies, to trumps “good people on both sides” speech, to everything that happened in 2017. The movie did NOT fuck around with anything. God Bless.

Robin Hood, 2018: Antifa film of the YEAR! Yeah Robin, Be a Class Traitor to the ruling class, Spread Wealth, Down with the 1%!

The Princess of Thieves: OMG Kiera Knightly as the daughter of robin and also a kick ass archer that causes trouble!!!! Loved it!

First Man: dude that movie was incredible, it read like you were seeing snapshots of his life, not completely invested, but as though you were a spirit looking at memories. I kinda liked it. I loved the silent scenes that filled the viewer with anxiety, like a realization of the gravity of what was happening. Omg. Good film A+

Bohemian Rhapsody: OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMGOMGOMGOMG MY QUEER HEART IS RESTORED AND THEY SAID BISEXUAL!!!!!

What we do in the Shadows: that was an enjoyable movie. I didn't quite like the reality show format but it was funny!

Overlord: That was a great movie! it had decently fast pacing, which is good that it was only an hour and forty-eight minutes long... They Plot-Ex-Machina’d alot of the movie, like the wounded soldier feeling fine for the main firefight, then remembering he was supposed to be wounded all of a sudden. I watched it with a friend who saw one character, turned to me and said “He’s cute, i hope he doesnt die” one (1) second before a landmine went off. Also, Ghouls created by science rather by supernatural means.

For the Love of Spock: -cries like a big baby-

Next Gen: screams of anti-tech ideals... Also.... Damn...... They are channeling the "addiction to iPhones" angle man, like, villianous angle...

Small Foot: Not bad, At least it was a Short movie, or at least it didnt feel like it was dragging on. The Songs were great though, I actually liked them and at least they were written for the movie and not like, a song that already existed...

The Spy who Dumped Me: I rented it through iTunes and it gave some Ukrainian nuts swangin in my face...

The Nun: it was okay, but let maurice theirult be a lesson; u see some creepy haunted shit, you grab a cross and you walk away. You dont go back to play hero, cuz then you get possessed.

Kin: there is a line in the movie that says "you got a decade of bad decisions under your belt" and I feel like that sums of this movies plot points...

Crazy Rich Asians: that was so gooooood! I don't normally go for romcoms, but ppl had been praising the film, and I actually liked it. I'm glad I saw the majong scene explain before I actually watched the scene, because it felt a shit ton more powerful.

Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse: AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! the animation was TOP NOTCH, like, omg!

A simple favor: I didnt like it... It tried to be both a thriller and what seemed like a parody of a thriller.

Predator, 2018: I kinda liked it, it was a mindless action movie, and the ending left it open for a badass sequal. I havent seen the other predator movies so I have no idea if this is in faith for the series, but im guessing yes.

The Martian: It was cool and chill, I liked it, also Mark Watney cussing out a government agency via a hundred thousand dollar communications outlet is.... Mood.

47 meters down: 2hrs of one woman having an absolute panic attack and being right to worry about sketchy diving boats.

2036 Origin Unknown: kinda what I feel like 2001 a space Oddessey wouldve been like if I had actually watched that movie... Oh shit the Borg!

2001 A Space Oddessey: Have I ever told y'all that I dont like Kubrick or his movies? His movies are the epitome of that pretentious art school boi style that just does too much and tries to pretend it's more than it is and sweet merciful god why is this one 2 and a half hours long! I'm 40 minutes in and I have a head ache from the over ise of classical music and boring slow pace of the movie. 2001 a space Oddessey is 2 and a half hours long and only has 1 hr of actual relevant film... The other 1 1/2 is just unending, weirdly colored space shots, two color inversion shots of planets and eyes, theremin and flute noises, and classical music set to nothingness

RAMPAGE: a 30ft alligator showed up about an hour and 10minutes into the movie and the first reaction was "well that sucks" and it killed me on sight. The movie is awesome! In am so glad I picked this as my last movie of 2018.

#Year of Movies #Movie List #Movie List 2018 #New Years

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imagine-lcorp · 6 years

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Mustang Ride (Part II)

Request

Maybe like they arrive at a major get together, including Sam Arias and maybe Eliza, like for Alex's birthday. Only for an attempt on either Kara, from a major enemy or on Lena and Kara and reader expose themselves to Sam and the other unknowing members of the Super friends.

A/N: Hi guys! I hope you’re doing well in life. Here I bring you a part two for Mustang Ride, thanks to @veteranwerewolf95 who wanted me to continue with the story and gave me the idea for this part. It has become a series, so wait for the next part, soon I hope. Kudos to her <3 also check her blog!! Remember that request are open, you can hit it guys and tell me your ideas for new imagines. I have a few now in my list and I’m gonna be working on them. I hope you enjoy this one and please tell me what you think!!

Lena Luthor x Shapeshifter!Reader//Word Count: 1,869

Series: Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V

"This has gone too far." You mumbled with your hands covering your face.

"Don't you like it?" Lena teased and smiled as she wrapped her arms around you.

"You're a dork." You lowered your hands and laughed.

There were many reasons to love Lena Luthor. She was strong, independent, kind, loyal, compassionate, smart, stunning, a badass, and she was so, so much more. She never ceased to amaze you. Everything she was, and everything she did, you considered it divine. Looking at the black '68 Mustang convertible in her parking spot made you reaffirm your belief that she was a marvel out of this world.

"What? It's a classic." She said while walking towards the driver's door. It was a nice car, you had to admit. "Now, get in."

"Are you driving?" You raised an eyebrow at her. You walked towards the trunk to put your bag in.

"Mmm, this is my Mustang so..." There was a playful look in her eyes. "Yes, I'm gonna ride it." She turned the key and started the car with a big roar.

"There she goes." You smiled and rolled your eyes while walking towards the passenger's door. You imagined that Lena and J'onn could have a good conversation. Considering he also droved a '52 convertible that technically was a spaceship.

Saturday was Alex's birthday and you were going to Midvale to celebrate. Their mother, Eliza, had convinced them to take, at least, the weekend off for the party. So, Kara invited all the Superfriends, including Sam and Ruby, during the last game night. You were more than happy to be going and spend the weekend there. However, it was like a two hour trip from National City to Midvale, and Lena had offered Sam to carpool. It was still Friday when you drove to her house and picked them up. Sam and Ruby were as excited to spend the weekend outside the city.

You arrived at Eliza's house late afternoon. You saw J'onn's car and three motorcycles in the driveway and guessed the Superfriends had arrived early. Kara walked out of the house and welcomed you, leading you inside. As you guessed, the Superfriends were there. James and the birthday girl, Alex, were chatting in the living room. Maggie and J'onn were helping Eliza in the kitchen, and Winn was trying to set up the TV for the karaoke.

After you say hello, Sam and Lena went to catch up with the rest at the living room. Ruby was excited to talk with Alex about a science project for her class, and you went to the kitchen to help with the dinner and cake. Eliza was thrilled to meet you, Kara had told her about your shapeshifting abilities, and she found it fascinating, considering you were not an alien like J'onn.

It was a wonderful evening to celebrate Alex's birthday. Family and friends were there, the food in the oven was delicious, you were sure, and everyone was having a good time. Before dinner, Kara put everyone to sing duets with the karaoke but, of course, she and Ruby stole the spotlight. An hour later, you were helping Eliza set the table and the Superfriends were taking their seats, ready to eat.

However, while you were sitting the doorbell rang, making everyone look at each other in confusion. As far as you knew, none of you were expecting any more guests. It was probably a neighbor calling or a door-to-door salesman, nothing to worry about, so you offered yourself to go open the door.

"Oh, shut." It was the only thing you could say, before your eyes went wide open and a strong hand caught you by the neck, as you opened the door. This was unfortunately something to worry about.

Everyone at the table suddenly stood up, looking with eyes wide open, furrowed eyebrows, or covering their mouths in surprise. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see your friends preparing themselves to defend you.

"(Y/N)." You heard Lena gasp.

"One move and I break your friend's neck." Rasped Hank Henshaw, taking slow steps inside the house. The pressure in your neck seemed to increase with every step you had to take back.

You tried to turn around to see your friends. Alex, Kara, James and J'onn were in agent-superhero mode, if their clenched jaws and tensed poses were any indication. Winn was practically petrified, looking back and forth between you and Henshaw, waiting for something to happen. Maggie and Eliza were near Sam, who was holding Ruby behind her, trying to protect her. You couldn't see Ruby, but you knew she should be scared. Then you saw Lena, taking a step forward, ready to face her mother's minion.

"What do you want Henshaw?" J'onn demanded to know. Kara had to grab Lena by the arm.

"I'm here from Ms. Luthor..." He looked at your friends with his robotic eye turning a little brighter. "And she's coming with me." At that, you transformed into the biggest animal you could think of.

Henshaw certainly didn't expect being punched in the face by a polar bear. He was still holding you when you transformed and he turned to see you with a confused frown. You seized the opportunity to try to push him back, tearing part of his face and chest with your claws. Next, you turned into rhino and rammed him outside the house, breaking the door frame. You would have to apologize to Eliza later for that. Unfortunately, you remembered Henshaw had super strength as he grabbed you by the horn and threw you over his head. The impact leaving you a little dazed.

When you focused back to Henshaw, you realized Kara and J'onn were outside too, greeting him with clenched fist. This should have been an easy fight, two against one were good numbers, but Henshaw really knew how to fight. J'onn was launched to the front yard with in a single movement and Kara was throwing punches that he managed to dodge or block. Alex and James were at the door watching the fight, surely planning how to help.

You got on your feet and ran towards them, an idea popping in your head. With a jump you landed on Henshaw's back as a python and wrapped yourself around his neck and arms, as tightly as possible. You managed to immobilize him, enough for Kara, and J'onn to return, and hit him in the guts. You considered it payback for almost choking you. However, he started to untangle himself, grabbing and stretching you with his bare hands.

You couldn't risk being teared apart by his bare hands so you had to let go and Henshaw tossed you again to the side. The fight continued with Kara and J'onn blowing punches at him. You could hear the three of them complaining and grunting at every blow. So you returned to the fight, back as a polar bear. Henshaw heard you growl and turned his head, his angry expression telling you he had had enough of your animal shenanigans.

Henshaw had the nerve to grab J'onn by the neck and use him as a bowling ball against Kara before going for a bear hug with you. He wrapped her arms around you, lifting and squeezing your torso until the pain made you scream. You had to turn back to normal and fell to the ground. Henshaw was ready to finish you when a blast threw him away. Alex was in the driveway, pointing her alien gun at him.

After that, the fight ended pretty much quickly. Kara and J'onn recovered fast enough to deliver a couple of power punches more, making Henshaw finally withdraw. Kara wanted to chase after him but J'onn convinced her not to. It was already night time and he had easily disappeared, they couldn't risk going into a bigger trap.

"(Y/N)!" You heard Lena scream as she passed Alex and James at the door. You were still in the ground, grunting and holding your sides, it hurt like hell and you were breathing with some difficulty. Kara and J'onn also rushed towards you.

"Let's get inside. (Y/N) will need some medical attention." Ordered J'onn. Kara had to carry you inside with Lena following close behind.

Kara left you in her room upstairs, with Alex and Eliza to check your injuries. James and Winn were improvising a new front door while the rest of the girls were in the living room, distracting Ruby. At first, she had been scared of the whole situation but, after realizing she was surrounded by literal superheroes, it triggered her excitement.

"You'll have to rest for at least seven weeks." Eliza handed you a few painkillers and a glass of water.

"Alright, got it." You grimaced as you took the pills.

"That means no shapeshifting for a while, (Y/N)." Alex raised an eyebrow.

"This means I’ll have to take the bus to work, ugh." You grunted.

"I'm gonna call Lena, be right back." Alex ruffled your hair and left the room.

"How's (Y/N)?" J'onn asked once she saw Alex walk down the stairs. Lena turned immediately, fidgeting with her hands. She had seen you struggle with your breathing and she hoped it wasn't anything serious.

"With four broken ribs but fine." She said while walking towards the group. "You can go upstairs now, if you want, Lena."

"Thank you." That's all Lena said before rushing upstairs.

Eliza had made some recommendations and reminded you again not to use your abilities, until they were sure you were completely recovered. You thanked her and also apologized for the broken door. She just laughed and assured you it was fine, you had saved them after all. Then, Lena showed up at the door and she left the room to give you some privacy. You smiled when you saw Lena and raised your hand towards her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked and took your hand in hers.

"Good, with some pain but I'm okay. I had it worst in Roulette's ring." You squeezed her hand reassuringly. It was definitely not the worst injury you ever had. "How's everyone?"

She sat near you, in Kara's bed, and told you how everyone was doing so far after the attack. James and Winn were still working on the improvised door. J'onn and Kara were still talking about Henshaw, and Maggie and Alex were talking with Sam and Ruby, trying to answer their questions without revealing anything too confidential.

"Ruby is a little bit too excited now that she knows her aunts and uncles are superheroes." Lena chuckled.

"I bet." You smiled, knowing Ruby would want to know everything about the Superfriends.

"So, what did Eliza tell you?"

"Just that I need to rest and have a few checkups, to see if I'm healing correctly. Also, I can't transform for, like, seven weeks at least. Meaning… I would need a ride to work." You raised an eyebrow at her.

"Alright." Lena smiled and kissed you. "Just not my Mustang."

"Hey, I saved your life." You tried to protest. "Twice."

"Mmm, I guess we can carpool." Then she kissed you. It was going to be an interesting weekend.

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena x reader #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor fic #shapeshifter #shapeshifter reader #shapeshifter!reader #mustang ride #part ii

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mbergen · 4 years

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In the beginning of all this, I mentioned Tammy had 2 other nurse friends in New York City. This is one of them. Carrie Ann. She has a Very Special Story to tell. Tammy and Carrie met at Kindred Hospital in Peoria, and then they both worked for awhile at IVCH in Peru Illinois. Carrie is a Travel Nurse and her specialty is OB, Labor and Delivery. Carrie’s Day 1 of 21 started on March 28 2020. She is staying at the New Yorker in Manhattan and working at Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. This is so heart wrenching to read her posts. But she is telling how it is. These are story’s that should be told. Their are some doubters out their that just don’t realize what is truly going on in this world with this virus. The people in the New York City are fighting for survival. We need to know what these nurses and doctors and all personal are going through to help these people daily, …..and you might wonder…. why do they do it?…..It’s because they feel the need to help. They are answering the call that they are trained for….It’s their LOVE OF LIFE AND PEOPLE. So in this blog I will copy the words directly from Carries FB site…..These will all be her words……Preserved for us all….

So Lets Follow her for her 21 days fighting Covid-19 in New York City

CarrieAnn is at Chicago O’Hare International Airport. March 27 at 9:57 AM · Chicago, IL ·

I’ve said it before .. being a nurse isn’t what I do, it’s who I am. It’s not always a choice, it’s a calling, sometimes you don’t even understand it yourself. So in the words of my little brother, Im going to “bring my ass home”, but for now, let’s do this New York

Jacobi Medical Center

CarrieAnn March 28 at 6:39 PM ·

Day 1. Jacobi Medical Center. I’m overwhelmed and proud to be part of this group of nurses. Ps didn’t post this morning.

CarrieAnn March 28 at 6:52 PM ·

So I’ve decided I’m going to do something I don’t normally do, and I’m going to post about my days while I’m here..as much as I can by the time I make it to the end of the day. And it’s not going to be your average sugar coated filtered Facebook bs, I’m going to be raw and honest about what is happening here. Unfriend me now if you don’t want to know. Day 1 started with some uncertainty because it’s the first day. No one really knows what they’re doing. A bus shuttles us from the hotel to the hospitals we are assigned to. There was a group of us on our first day so we had a day of hospital orientation before heading to the floors tomorrow. While waiting at the elevators to go up to education the nurse escorting us answered her phone and started crying, asking the person to repeat what they’d just said.. then cried out, and sobbed. She walked away then came back and told us one of their educators just died from corona. On the bus back to the hotel at the end of Day 1 and I receive a text from a newer nurse, I think she’s been a nurse 4 years, she’s young, a lovely girl, and she was assigned to Elmhurst. She just got on her bus, and this is what her Day 1 will look like. PLEASE PRAY.

Mar 29 at 8:59AM

Day 2 in NYC. I am still at Jacobi Center and I’m in Labor & Delivery where we still have plenty of supplies.

The text from my friend about her first night at a different hospital.

“ER -one nurse taking care of FIVE intubated “sedated” possible positive covid patients. five to one, he was just running around trying to keep a BP going. they are out of ALL supplies… they’re out of pumps!? they had fentanyl/levo/propofol gtts with no pumps. they were titrating by the roller clamp. maxed out on vent settings, with sats in 70-80s and they were happy with that sat. patients coding every couple minutes. it’s a 50 bed ER, and they have over 200 patients in there right now. patients just stacked on top of each other and having to move stretchers around to just reach a patient in the back row. they made a tent morgue outside of the ER and it’s full already.”

Feeling thankful beyond words for my assignment today, and praying this nurse has peace in her heart and mind this morning when she lays down to sleep. Even just for a few hours. ♥️

March 29 at 9:08PM

Today I got my assignment, and thanked God above my whole walk to the labor and delivery unit. That group of nurses were so appreciative -so thankful that we’re here to help- I’ve never felt so appreciated walking onto a shift. They took me in as one of their own made me feel welcome and did not miss an opportunity to thank me, all day long.

The TV in the break room runs between ABC NBC CNN and Fox news all day long, trying to keep up with the latest with Covid while managing our patients.

Employees at the hospital were picketing outside the emergency room and I’m not even really sure why… The biggest complaint I hear is about having to use the N95 masks for a week before we can get a new one. They gave out small brown paper bags, like a lunch bag, to store it in.

The labor and delivery unit is dated, and not well laid out. The cabinets are falling off hinges with long mismatched screws holding them on, and there is paint chipping off most of the corners of walls, and along the ceilings. But it doesn’t change the overall feeling of optimism on this unit, and in the midst of everything going on all around us, we had a delivery of a healthy baby girl today.

Every nurse that got on the bus wore her day on her face, some spoke it in words, some look defeated. One cried. We talked about our day.. the good, and the bad, then finished the bus ride back with our acapella rendition of Joe Diffys John Deere Green. RIP Joe

March 30 at 7:02PM

Day3. Today I learned why Mondays get a bad rap. New York hospitals did that. It doesn’t matter how experienced or strong of a nurse you think you are, you’re not ready for this. I got there, took my assignment in triage, and the door didn’t stop revolving. Within the first hour all the triage beds were full and there was a line waiting. Some were belligerent and cussing demanding to be seen, some were tearful, all were scared. Everyone’s wearing masks and complaining of how hot they are. Management is visible, on the floor working, asking what you need, how they can help.

These women are coming in alone, leaving their husbands, sisters, moms- whoever brought them- in the waiting room as they are assessed and treated. If they stay they can have one support person, no trading off- ONE person, per patient, per stay…. WHEN THEY ARE HAVING A BABY. Or when they’re not. Some of these girls are miscarrying, or having a threatened miscarriage, and they have to pick the one person that can sit next to them, hug them, tell them it’s going to be okay. One person. Because of this virus. Oh, and when they do deliver, dad gets one hour to bond then they have to leave .. til mom goes home.

Covid in pregnant women is a hard thing to look at. She’s struggling to breath and her 02 sats are in the 70-80s. Do you know how much oxygen that means her baby is getting? She went to ICU. I didn’t have time to check and see how she was doing after she left our floor.

I also didn’t have time to eat, drink, or pee. I can feel my heartbeat in my feet after sitting down for 10 minutes on this bus, and don’t even feel sorry for myself because I had more help than the night shift I just left.

March 31 at 9:27PM

I wasn’t going to post words tonight, but just a picture. If you haven’t seen it, this isn’t some professional National Geographic wait for the perfect poignant shot picture. It’s a snapshot, taken with a phone, by a nurse, here, in New York City.

But then…

Ive always been a believer of “to each their own”. I’ve never had a hard time respecting someone’s opinion or beliefs without agreeing with them myself. And then today I find myself typing out the words “you’re a fucking idiot” in response to a strangers comment on a friends post. A stranger. Going on and on about how this virus is a hoax. Well-?! .. is he..? an IDIOT?? Are people that fn STUPID? I just hope..these individuals don’t end up with the virus themselves and need the medical attention and treatment from one of these doctors or nurses that read that shit. Because I think, for the first time in my life I would walk on by.

April 5 at 7:05 PM

Day 5 was mixed. I am sore and I am tired. My back hurts from being on my feet for 15 hours a day, and there are open spots on the back of both my ears from wearing a surgical mask over the N95, to try to make it last longer. You end every day with a headache from the tightness and pressure of the N95 on your face all day. We have two rooms just dedicated to corona virus rule outs on Labor and Delivery, and we are going to ICU to do fetal monitoring for positive moms. We constantly weave in and out of ambulances on the way to and from the hotel. I’m not complaining.

I was present and praising God at the beginning of 2 new lives today. The OB charge nurse called the 4 of us crisis nurses together n she stood up and told us that when she saw on the news that nurses were coming from all over the country to help in NY, she was emotional and touched. When she heard her hospital was getting 200 nurses, she was excited. But when we walked onto her unit to work, she couldn’t believe it. She thanked us with a sincerity that was raw and I will never forget.

Across town my friend Sid had a different day. When she text me I put my phone down and cried. You don’t even have to be there to feel the terror of that shift. Its not plateaued, and it’s not slowing down. Again, she is not at the same hospital I am.

****five codes… they all die. staff is so so rude and unhelpful. it’s such a toxic environment. my patient was one of them at 0630. my vent stopped working because it’s a damn portable and he’s been on it for three days. they refused to get him another one and said that they had to save them for other patients… I bagged him for a good 30-45 minutes without a peep valve and of course he started to decompensate. it was me and a resident and nobody would help, he coded and died. the bus has left me. I have to wait for a van to come get me. we are reusing code carts over and over, we have no oxygen on the unit, the low oxygen alarms are going off, we are out of sedation, we’re using pediatric pulse ox’s… i’m doing things that are just going against my morals and it’s so hard to see how these patients are going down. I do not think covid is killing these people, it’s the lack of staff, education, equipment and resources…. *****

And so now there’s that.

Oh, and my other friend here, that I came with, she was in the ER today, positive.

CarrieAnn April 3 at 8:07 PM ·

On day 7, the Midwest is looking really good. After a week here, working nonstop, you’re a different person. I miss home, miss my kids and I miss my husband, Joshua, who tried everything from arguing to pleading with me not to go-because he was worried about my health-but has been indescribably supportive, and encouraging me every day. I love you. Im irritable and emotional. Tears fell out of my eyes and right down onto my patients bed yesterday as I’m leaning over her doing all the things when we lost fetal heart tones. That’s not how I nurse, and has nevvver happened. I just couldn’t help it. The feeling of impending doom is heavy. There are numerous morgue trailers, morgue tents, and mobile morgue trucks all over the city. Ambulances constantly speeding by, lights on, horns blaring. Don’t miss the view from my patients labor room below. The hospitals here have now started ethical triage. That’s when families are simply told there are no ventilators to save your family member. Do they need a ventilator to survive? Yes? Then roll them over there to die. People over 65 have been denied ventilators to give it to a younger person who has a better chance. WHAT-? Many healthcare workers here are writing their last will and testament. New York has now initiated orders that first responders cannot transport people to hospitals if they cannot be revived on the field. They just don’t…even…take…them. Can you imagine, in our country, calling 911 because your wife can’t breath and they won’t even put her into the ambulance? Thousands of nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors have come to New York, and are risking their lives to help. NO ONE knows how they will respond to the virus..you may be okay, you may die. All you have to do is stay home. Or you could be standing in the emergency room hearing “I’m sorry but we don’t have a ventilator for your wife/son/daughter.” No bullshit. How bout the NYFD though, greeting nurses for our shift 🙌🏼❤️

CarrieAnn April 5 at 10:07 AM ·

Yesterday was day 8, and it was the closest representation of a “normal” day in labor and delivery. I had a 1:1 mag patient that I was able to give the appropriate amount of attention to, and I didn’t feel like running off the floor once. I’ve gotten a lot of support and kindness from the staff nurses here, and that makes a huge difference. There are 2 covid+ moms on the unit- these women are SICK- and we sectioned a mom that was in ICU because her oxygen was in the 80’s, and although she resisted having a c/s all day, insisting God would get her through it, her body couldn’t win out over the strain the virus was putting on it. Her baby was born alive and went to NICU.. but this unit continues to focus on life and beginnings. It’s upbeat- a small little bubble of happiness compared to the rest of this city. I also received a package from the best best friend, Lynn, with more “stuff” I couldn’t live without! Shaina, you’re a special kind of person, and I’ll never forget the N95s you had for yourself, but sent to me instead. ♥️ So I’ll use this opportunity to share some pics I’ve taken since I’ve been here..none too exciting, no touristy or cool things that one would want to see on their first trip to New York, but New York nonetheless.

Madison Square Garden

New Yorker, Carries Hotel

CarrieAnn April 5 at 3:02 PM ·

Live♥️ NYFD here showing love to the health care workers!

CarrieAnn Munson April 6 at 9:38 AM ·

Day 9….Yesterday was my 9th day in a row working in New York City. The NYFD came to Jacobi and showed the nurses and docs some love, and that was cool. L&D was slow so I was floated to PEDS, which isn’t pediatrics at all anymore. It’s now an adult med-surg with double occupancy rooms. Practically every patient is covid positive or covid rule-out. The stream of admissions literally doesn’t stop and I heard the charge nurse say I’m at maximum capacity now so what do I do- put 3 in a room? The mood is still upbeat. This charge nurse was joking and laughing, trying to keep his nurses light and moral high. One of the nurses in my group got onto the bus tearful, saying she lost one of the patients she’s taken care of since we arrived here. A 38 year old man, who left his wife and 10 year old son, and died alone because of quarantine. The things etched in our minds eye and memories are hard to explain in words, you just can’t understand it without seeing it. The people who are really sick go from bad to worse quickly, and recovery, if at all, is very slow. The few people that do get extubated, are still 100% dependent on BiPAP. For those who are intubated, more than half are on very strong medications to keep their blood pressure up. And still many of them are dying anyway, despite our best efforts. The most tragic part, is that they are alone. Staff uses their iPhones regularly so that families can use FaceTime to see their person one last time, and say goodbye. There are videos people are taking suggesting that the situation in New York is not as bad as the media projects. I don’t have the time to watch all the news right now, and I can agree that the streets, even around the hospitals, are not crowded. However, that is NOT an accurate depiction of where actual patient care is being provided. At least in Queens, and the Bronx.. even Manhattan, every department that cares for the critically ill is stretched way beyond normal capacity. I have been working with nurses and physicians, anesthesiologists, general surgeons, gynecologists, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and nurse anesthetists, all of whom have been stepping in to do their best to function as intensive care and/or emergency medical providers. In the emergency room, there literally is no more room for additional stretchers, and those less ill are sitting in chairs, for hours and hours. This pandemic is real. The severity, which luckily doesn’t seem to impact the majority, is devastating for the minority. Please- distance yourself from others. Act like you have it, and everyone who doesn’t live with you has it too. You may get Covid, you may not. You may get really sick, you may not. But you could be the reason someone else does, without ever knowing.. and some of them are DYING. Dying with no family member there in their final moments…and that would be much worse than missing out on time with your friends, or not eating in your favorite restaurant.

CarrieAnn April 7 at 8:24 PM ·

Day 10….Yesterday was day 10. My friend was woken by a call on her room phone from the NYPD, saying there was a complaint against her and she needed to come to the police station for questioning. The officer told her he didn’t want to embarrass her so he would give her time to shower, and she could wear her street clothes (not scrubs) down to the lobby where he would meet her in 40 minutes, walk her out and cuff her before putting her into his car. She called home to fill them in and was told to call the police station back and ask questions. She learned that no officer had called her, no complaint had been filed against her, and no officer was coming to pick her up to take her to the police station for questioning. She notified our company who quickly made arrangements to move her, and make her non-registered. They are also making frequent checks on her. So not only are we fighting the virus, lack of sleep and hot meals, long hours on our feet, homesickness, death in our faces…. now we have to worry about abduction, or worse. W. T. F. Today was my 11th day working in New York. It was a good day. I was just a labor nurse, it was a nice pace, with wonderful fellow nurses, and a good delivery. God is present, and He is good. I am tired, and homesick, He knew I needed a day like this.

CarrieAnn April 9 at 6:04 AM ·

I have NO WORDS for the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and appreciation to each and every one of you- and I know who you are- that took the time out of your day -and money out of your wallet- to send me something here in New York to make my time easier. I’ll never forget it. ♥️♥️♥️

CarrieAnn April 9 at 7:03 PM ·

Day 13….Today was my 13th day here. Today we also had military nurses arrive at the hospital and assigned to the floor. It is an actual deployment for them. Today I started my shift counting the codes paged overhead, and just realized I stopped counting at 11, hours ago. Today we started swabbing all patients admitted to labor, regardless if they show symptoms or not. Have any of you had this done?..or seen it done?… if you haven’t yet, go ahead and search a video. The swab goes up your nostril all the way back, to your throat. Thrrroaat. Their eyes water and they try to stall, some women push the providers hands away over and over..and then they swab the other side. I miss home, and it feels so much longer than 2 weeks. But I have so much love and support from home..thanks again to all of you that sent me care packages, you can’t know how much of a difference it makes. And this unit continues to make each of us one of their own, embracing us more every day, with endless thank you’s. I still feel healthy, with no signs of illness, so I won’t be whining or complaining.

This is Carrie’s first 13 days. It is so hard to comprehend as we just sit here every day waiting for the days to pass. We see it on the news, but the reality does really have the full impact unless you know someone who is fighting the fight……Part 2 will follow her to DAY 21

Part 1….Carrie in New York….Tammy’s Friend….Coronavirus In the beginning of all this, I mentioned Tammy had 2 other nurse friends in New York City.

#Corona #Coronavirus #COVID-19 #Jacobi Medical Center #New York City #New Yorker #NYFD #Pandemic

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haileigh-desire · 7 years

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a new beginning

It’s five o’ clock in the morning and instead of getting some sleep I’ve decided to start a new blog. I’ve taken a hiatus on writing for quite some time now and I think I’m finally ready to restart the process of carefully separating my words with spaces in the same way a spruce separates its needles, keeping them just close enough to hold the snow. I tend to write and rewrite the same things with just a slight variation, probably because birthing poetry- or really any kind of writing- can feel almost ritualistic to me. I do it over and over again until I sort out my thoughts in a way that makes me feel content. I am hoping that even after all this time left coagulating inside my head, my thoughts and ideas aren’t too stale and lifeless to mean anything anymore. I don’t know if I’ve been a writer who doesn’t write for too long but I know that I am ready to try again.

I guess it would be a good idea to talk a little bit about where I am in life at the current moment. I’m twenty four years old, living in an apartment next to a jail in Reno, Nevada and I am a mother. If there is a purpose in life greater than being a parent, I do not know of it. I was staying at a homeless shelter in Florida when I found out that I was pregnant and had no concept of the gravity of what that meant for me or of the direction it would catapult my life into. My pregnancy was divided up into chunks of time, each one spent in a different state. I carried my child to be with me while I moved from one place to another, across the country and back again all the while tracking her growth with apps that compared her to various fruits. I believe she was the size of an apricot when I flew to Nevada for the first time to stay with a friend whom I had previously lived with before and had come to love as an honorary sister of sorts. Amanda and I both worked at the Buffalo Wild Wings across the street from our second floor apartment in Sparks and endured the misery of summertime in the desert with a broken air conditioner together. There is a picture somewhere of the both of us standing in a shower, my round belly sticking out far enough to leave only my toes visible while her tummy stands opposite of mine in all of its flatness and glory. We were so hot even in our own apartment that we resorted to taking cold showers together to survive. This is the primary chunk of time where I wrestled with the most difficult of choices- could I and should I keep this baby? I had kept the second passenger joining us in our new home a secret until I was already off of the plane and sitting in the drive-thru at In-N-Out getting my first taste of the notorious Double Double (which was everything I had dreamed it to be and more, in case you were wondering) and after I uttered the words, “I have to tell you something,” Amanda guessed correctly right away. We briefly discussed my options and I was afraid to admit to her at first that a large part of me was telling me to keep the baby so I was very nonchalant about the situation initially in order to conceal my true intentions. The word abortion was thrown into the conversation and over the next few weeks I attempted to warm up to the idea. I knew that I was not only financially not in a position where I could support myself, let alone a baby, but I also didn’t have a place where the baby and I could live once they were born or the support/involvement of the baby’s father. At first he encouraged me towards abortion, stating that he was not ready and did not want to be a father and over the course of many phone calls to each other we argued about whether or not either of us would be able to live with the guilt and even though he tried to reassure me that it was just a clump of cells and wouldn’t suffer, I still believed in my heart that it was the wrong choice. We ended up driving to a clinic in California twice to terminate the pregnancy but due to either fate or coincidence I measured too far along for the type of procedure they offered and I used that as my excuse to get the hell out of there and never look back. As time went on and my baby grew from an apricot to a kiwi to a kumquat to a muskmelon and beyond, I began to get more and more attached to this little being inside of me and became more and more stressed out and terrified about what I was actually going to do about this whole impending motherhood thing. As each tiny flutter of what might have just been gas mistaken for movement grew steadily into what turned into unmistakable kicks and stretches and punches to the rib cage and my bladder, I fell further in love with the little glob that I got to see forming every few weeks on the ultrasound screen. I remember being amazed that I could see the spine and just looking at the face and tiny little hands and fingers curling and uncurling and being in total awe. Amanda came with me to almost all of my OBGYN appointments and when I finally got to find out the gender I closed my eyes and let the nurse show Amanda first.

IT’S A GIRL! I could not have been happier in that moment. She was a girl. Deep down I think I already knew she was a she but it was still exciting to know for sure. As I came nearer and nearer to my due date, which was August 28th 2015, I got even more scared of what the future held. I started to believe that it was impossible for me to keep my daughter and raise her all by myself so I did the only other thing I knew to do- I contacted an adoption agency. I ended up meeting a very kind and understanding woman in the lobby of a Starbucks and after discussing the ins and outs of what adoption is all about, I was sent back home with a stack of books made by hopeful families for me to pick through and a little book of frequently asked questions about adoption. I started reading about the different homes that I could place my daughter in and imagining what kind of life she would have in each one and after some serious thought and consideration I landed on a gay couple from Las Vegas. Shortly after I told my adoption case worker that I would like to move forward with that particular couple, I ended up flying back to Michigan to move home so that I could be with my family during the last few weeks of my pregnancy and have them be there for the birth. Even though I had chosen what I considered to be the best family I could have possibly found to raise my daughter, I still struggled with the idea of giving away my baby that I had carried inside me for so many months and loved so unbearably much and leaving the hospital empty handed. Every time I thought about that moment where I would have to say goodbye, I found myself unable to let her go. Even though I knew there were many things that this other family could offer her that I wouldn’t be able to, like trips around the world and a life of luxury, I still believed that I was meant to be with my daughter. Once I was back in Michigan I decided to cut off contact with the adoption agency and the potential family. The caseworker continued to text me asking for updates and eventually after realizing that I got cold feet she moved on to instead text me to lend me support in whatever decision I was making, which was very nice of her. I did feel a great deal of guilt for essentially ghosting on a really awesome family that had been waiting to adopt for over two years, but I finally felt content with my choice to keep my baby and I was happy to finally come to what I felt was the right conclusion. Whatever it took, I was going to make motherhood work for me. In the middle of the night on August 10th 2015, I woke up to the feeling of my insides being crushed in a death grip intermittently on and off and knew that it was time to get my ass to the ER. The baby was on her way! I rushed to the hospital and immediately upon arrival I begged for/demanded an epidural. I was told that I would have to wait approximately 20 minutes for a bag of fluids to go through my IV first and seeing as I was having a contraction every other minute, I calculated that I would have to endure ten more contractions before finally getting relief. Thankfully, God must have heard my prayers because after the tenth and final minute-long moment of the most unbearable and intense pain imaginable, a nurse finally came in with the longest needle I’ve ever seen in my life and jabbed it into my spine. Right as she inserted it, my water broke. It took a few minutes before my entire left side was completely numb and once I voiced my concern that I could still feel the other half of my body they propped my onto my side and eventually I could feel nothing from my boobs down. My mother showed up, along with my friend Casey and feeling sleepy I decided to rest my eyes and take a nap while I waited to dilate to a 10. A few hours later I was woken up and informed that it was time to push! There was a big mirror propped up so that I had an immaculate view of my own vagina and the top of my daughters head peeking out of it. A nurse gave her a little mohawk and I gave my first push. Her little head stuck out a little and then sucked back inside me and it took four pushes to launch her little chicken cutlet resembling body out of me and into the arms of the doctor. My perfect, bloody, goopy, screaming baby was born! I remember someone handing her naked little body over to me and placing her on my chest and I just kept thinking about how gross she was covered in whatever else was floating around inside my belly with her and I wished that someone would wash her off. I was surprised to see that she was not the cute little infant I was expecting, but some smushed, purple colored creature that was using those tiny lungs to voice her displeasure with being ejected from her home in my belly. Eventually she was cleaned off and dried up and she started looking more and more adorable. I took a picture of her in her first little purple hospital knitted hat and showed her off to everyone on social media. I was so in love with her and I knew in my heart that there was nothing that would ever break the bond we had with each other. August 10th 2015, the day that Charlie Mackenzie Sonego was brought into existence. The day that I became a mother. The very best day of my entire life.

It’s hard to believe that that day was almost two years ago. I look at my daughter now and it’s almost impossible to believe that she was the same baby that I was so nervous to take home with me from the hospital. She was so fragile and perfect, I was terrified that I wasn’t going to know what to do or how to take care of her. Somehow those mothering instincts just kicked in full force and I was able to learn how to do the diaper changes and the feedings and know how to keep her safe and alive with relative ease. Looking at her today, a toddler with all of her teeth and a mop of untamed curls on her head that reaches halfway down her back when wet, its mind blowing to compare this version of Charlie with the newborn version. Being a mother has gotten so much easier in some aspects, like now she is old enough to occupy herself by playing on my phone and watching her favorite songs play on YouTube. She even knows most of the dance moves that go along with each song! One of her favorites is Happy and You Know It. Shes talking more and more every day, sometimes babbling but she knows some words so far like mama, buh-buh, shoes, eyes, hi, bye, ducks, no, and poop! She loves to watch shows on TV and Netflix, especially Sophia the First and Trolls and The Lion Guard. She likes to color, both on the bath tub with her bath crayons and on paper with regular ones. One of her favorite things to do with her Mama is go play at the park and go down slides together and also going swimming at the pool. She can throw her own dirty diaper in the trash and can say please in sign language. She wakes up every morning and calls for her Mama to come get her out of her pack and play, even though I know for a fact that she can get out by herself because I’ve witnessed it with my own eyes. For some reason she is inexplicably fascinated with brushing her teeth and I have a hard time getting the toothbrush away from her after shes finished brushing. All in all, her personality is big and expressive and she gives me a reason and a purpose for living. The world just seems brighter with her in it. I see so much pure happiness inside of her and I pray that nothing ever stifles it. So that is my update. What is new in my life these days? Motherhood, and all of the crazy adventures that comes with it. It’s been a wild two years and I would not change a single thing.

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ilovemygaydad · 5 years

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Friends in Dark Places [ch 3]

pairing: eventual moxiety, eventual logince, background eventual remile, background eventual remy/emile/deceit

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter@band-be-boss-blog @theunoriginaldaisy

a/n: so i have to repost all of these in a different format! yay fucking me!!!! please consider reblogging these if you’re a fan of this series because it’s all fucked up now

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