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humanityinahandbag · 1 year

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Eddie's April Fools joke would be him bringing Steve a baby that he's watching while he volunteers at the foster center (because kids aren't as judgemental as adults and he can actually do some good without getting nasty looks or whispers about satanism and murder behind his back).

He'd show up at Steve's door and hold out a wide eyed, rosy cheeked, somewhat confused baby like, "Steven, I know it's been a few months since our night of passion, but she's yours. I'm taking you for all you're worth!"

And it's such an obvious joke. Such an obvious prank. He'd just been taking this kid out for a walk and getting some fresh air.

But jokes on Eddie, because Steve wouldn't even think before lighting up, reaching out, and snatching the baby to his chest like oh aren't you so sweet, do you want to come inside? Yes you do!

Eddie tries to explain that it's a joke, but Steve just grabs his hand and squeezes it tight and the words die on his tongue.

"Bah phhhfp," said the baby, giving Eddie a look like, dude, you've got it bad.

Steve didn't drop his hand. His fingers were warm and strong against Eddie's. "Where'd you find her?"

"... foster?" Says Eddie. "I'm uh. I'm watching her?"

"And you brought her here?" Steve's eyes crinkled at the corners. His smile was sunshine.

Eddie opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded. And then nearly fell backwards when Steve brought the hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"Glooof," said the baby, staring at Eddie. You're an idiot if you don't make a move right now.

Thankfully, he didn't have to. Not when Steve was giving him a tug over the threshold.

"C'mon. Let's get you both inside. I think she needs to be changed. You got a diaper bag hiding somewhere under all that leather?"

It was meant to be a joke. It doesn't land as one. Because somewhere in Steve's head, the paternal switch is cheering, lit up so brightly. Free baby? And the person he liked brought him the baby?

Well. Then there's only one real solution to the problem.

(For Eddie, that solution hits him just as quickly. Especially when the guy he's been in love with since the sixth grade is holding a baby to his chest, shirt speckled in spitup and drool, making coffee the next morning, smiling across the kitchen at Eddie so softly and sweetly. Well. He was done for long ago. Might as well fall all the way.)

Ten years later, Eddie and Steve are sitting on a park bench watching their daughter April try to sacrifice her stuffed bunny on top of the jungle gym.

"You do realize that she was supposed to be a joke, right?" He'd say to Steve, a little teary eyed and so unbelievably happy.

"Jokes on you," Steve would reply easily. "Because I kept you both."

Jokes on him indeed.

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wombrion · 2 months

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she sucks at preening

#btw thats just when birds groom their feathers #marcille had a bird for 10+ years but just kind of..forgot #how to #dungeon meshi #marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #arts

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goodold-fashioned-killerqueen · 5 months

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i was thinking about that one screenshot and.. *blank*

#trafficshipping #scarian #kind of?#implied?#yes #goodtimeswithscar #grian #limited life #🌒w🌘 <this is how i look like while drawing this btw #just let u know #<3 #oh i almost forgot #smallishbeans #scitties

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nerdpoe · 1 month

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Danny's really, really good at making peanut butter fudge.

Not even Jack can make it better than him.

So when Kord Industries very own Ted Kord himself comes by to look over the weird stuff the Fenton's make, his parents go just shy of begging him to make that fudge.

Mr. Kord very enthusiastically chows away at it, and while Jack and Maddie go downstairs to get more inventions, asks Danny how he perfected the recipe.

Danny answers honestly.

"Well, the only edible things in the house for a lot of the time are peanut butter and maple syrup. I learned to work with what I had."

He's pretty proud of it, but doesn't really get why Jazz turned red or why Mr. Kord got pale.

for those who do not know, Ted Kord is Blue Beetle before Jaime.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #phanfic #dp x dc #story prompt #dc x dp #neglect mention #neglect mention by a child of neglect who had no idea it was neglect #well meanings but neglectful fenton parents #the kind of parents that think because they got food then obviously there's stuff for the kids #but forgot to order for the kids #and the kids are so used to it that they don't bring it up #ted is internally freaking out rn ngl #kid just admitted to abuse

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i-demand-a-good-username · 1 month

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Uh, anyway, Shane is actually besties with Sam (he'd rather die than admit it though) and they constantly do things to spite Joja and Sam can actually get a good reaction from Shane with some of his jokes. Sam and him were kind of awkward at first, but after a while Sam saw him at the saloon one day and went "HEY!! MY BUDDY SHANE!! COME PLAY POOL WITH US!!" so loudly across the building that everyone turned to stare and Shane almost sped-walked out of the place out of embarrassment (he def stayed and played pool but kept his head down to avoid stares).

Sam constantly talks about funny things Shane does and Abigail and Sebastian are like, "??? The quiet, grumpy town drunk??" But after Sam dragged Shane into so many pool games, Shane loosened up and started a tournament with the old arcade games between the four of them (he kicks everyone's asses at it) and now Seb and Abbi are starting to get it.

There's a competition between him and Sam on who can steal the largest item at Joja without getting caught (Shane has the lead with the pizza he gave farmer)

After Shane stops drinking, Sam is adamant on getting Shane to like joja-cola with him (he's not winning, unfortunately)

One time, Sam bet Shane that he could drink a 12-pack of Joja-cola during one break at work and threw up everywhere from the crazy amount of carbination it has (Even though Shane cried actual tears from laughter, Sam still owed him a pizza because Morris made Shane clean it 😭)

Shane will leave Sam maple bars in his work locker when Sam is having a hard time with his family and denies that it was him (Sam knows) His excuse when caught is that he and Jaz prefer the other donuts in the pack

Shane SUCKS at comforting others, but Sam appreciates the awkward conversation because it just means his buddy is trying to be a good friend.

They both run a secret page that basically makes fun of Morris by posting bad photos or just making a meme out of him

Uh, yeah, anyway. Sam and Shane are besties

#not a ship post btw #just two dudes being guys #oh yeah i forgot to mention that sam kind of reminds shane of himself when he was his age #just a little more into sports than sam #i should make another post of Shane being friends with alex #love those posts 🫶🫶🫶#stardew valley #sdv shane #sdv sam #stardew shane #stardew sam #sdv

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silmecicle · 11 months

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