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sluttylittlewaistenthusiast · 27 days

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╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the fanfics i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3

ᡣ𐭩 how you can help palestine . fic recs m.list

☾ @gutsby

☼ Wedded Bliss

⭒ The marriage was arranged, and the sex is deranged. Bucky is so obsessed with your pussy that he almost forgets he’s meant to be faking this whole thing—and hating it, like sworn enemies are supposed to do.

☾ @samthemarvelfan

☼ Bad Romance

⭒ In Brooklyn, everyone knows the unwritten rule: you don’t cross James Barnes. When you return after nearly half a decade, things are anything but the same. After the murder of your Uncle, you begin to learn that no one is who they say they are, and that you may have accidentally given your heart to a mobster; The White Wolf of Brooklyn. More dangerous than that, he’s given you his.

☾ @anonymityisfunwriter

☼ Two Sides of the Same Coin

☼ You're Losing Me

⭒ Your fairytale ending is crumbling before your eyes. You don't know how to love someone who can't tell you're dying. You fear you're fading away, begging him to do someone, say something, choose something. You fear he won't be able to resuscitate you this time. This time, he's losing you.

☼ Alone Together

⭒ It was always been you and Bucky, alone together, you'd say. But suddenly, you're just alone.

☾ @pellucid-constellations

☼ For the Love of the Game

⭒ Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.

☾ @sinner-as-saint

☼ Tempestuous

⭒ With his kingdom flourishing in peace, and no threats from enemies; recently crowned King - James Buchanan Barnes sets out at sea. With his finest ship, the best crew ever recruited, and a deep desire to see whether the edge of the world truly exists; the King sets sail. Hoping to find the marvels of the ocean, to find beauty and magic even; however he ends up finding a fiery soul – one he cannot get enough of. But then again, no love story is ever perfect, is it?

☼ Ruin

⭒ You work at a café owned by your family, close to your uni. And most of your days are pretty laid back and calm, but that is until you catch the eye of the mob boss. Your cute skirts and soft sweaters make him weak. Your innocence captivates him. And he wants you, badly. He wants you in his bed, wants his hand under those cute little skirts… he wants to ruin you.

☼ A Sweeter Place

⭒ Years after a messy break-up, and now seeking stability, infamous mob boss James Buchanan Barnes finds himself reunited with an old flame of his. Instant guilt and regret wash over him when he finds out that his reckless ways back then, changed an innocent girl’s life forever.

☼ You're No Saint

⭒ Steve and Bucky have been friends since they were young boys. They are inseparable, so naturally when you married Steve you were aware that Bucky came along with him. Every event, every vacation, even as the best man at your wedding - Bucky was always there, alongside you and Steve. He was one of your best friends as well, so you’ve never thought of him in a sexual way, ever. That is until one certain night, when you see something you’re not supposed to and you like it a little too much. You deny your desire towards Bucky, but Steve knows you better than anyone. He knows what you want and need, and he’s determined to fulfil your fantasy; because what his wife wants, she gets.

☼ Run For Your Life

⭒ He was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didn’t find you there. They told him you didn’t work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl – one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with.

☼ All Yours

⭒ One of your students confess their feelings for you and things get interesting...

☾ @mellowsaturns

☼ In Losing Grip, on Sinking Ships

⭒ when the avengers pick up unusual activity, they realize that not all of hydra was destroyed. one unidentifiable face sends the team into a frenzy but bucky knows it. he could recognize those eyes anywhere.

☼ All to Myself

⭒ after bucky finds out why you've been acting up ever since his company's party, he teaches you a lesson and remind you that you're the only one for him

☾ @renxzs

☼ Redemancy

⭒ Maybe it was a bit naive to think moving in with your best friend and long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, was going to be some smooth road that led to an admittance of mutual feelings for one another and a happily-ever-after ending, wrapped up nicely in a bow. Naive indeed; especially when you have to consider the fact that Bucky is the biggest womanizer you know.

☾ @cryptidcasanova

☼ My Devotion

⭒ The one where Bucky doesn’t take your breakup well.

☼ Loverboy

⭒ It's the Bridgerton carriage scene, but make it mob!Bucky.

☾ @subwaysurf45

☼ She's Not Mad

⭒ Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways.

☾ @adrinktostopyourthirst

☼ Sniper

⭒ Reluctantly, you get thrown into an assignment with Bucky and Yelena, but Bucky doesn't trust you as far as he can throw you. When he's proven to be correct, it turns out you're still a hell of a good team.

☼ Three Hundred

⭒ Bucky always makes sure his best friend is okay, because that is what you need. He's caring, but very passive and nonchalant, because you need it. Not him. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need you. Does he?

☼ Variant

⭒ The chaos of the multiverse is quite literally holding up a mirror to Bucky. Turns out, it's very easy to get under someone's skin when you have a universal connection to them.

☼ Underground

⭒ The Underground is the last way for you to survive whatever is left of the world after the Blip. Natasha introduces you to the Winter Soldier whose wing you're under until you find your way around. He's a stoic Underground fighter and you're... useless.

☼ One Shot

⭒ Bucky and you have a hard time staying away from each other. And though you try to push him away, every time he finds you again, the universe finds a new way to pull you apart.

☾ @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

☼ After All This Time

☾ @boxofbonesfic

☼ You're Gonna Give Me Six

☾ @little-miss-dilf-lover

☼ Fifteen Minutes

☾ @ellemj

☼ Bigger Than He Was

⭒ Bucky pretends to be your new man when you run into your ex in public. However, the little act of pretending sparks something inside of him that he didn't know was there.

☼ Strawberries

⭒ Bucky, the man with a long list of girls on his roster, gets exposed to a sex pollen in the field. Will he fuck the first girl he calls or the girl he's wanted for the last two months?

☼ Breathe, Part 2

⭒ Bucky hates the way you take unnecessary risks in the field, the way you're so mesmerizing and yet so hard to work with, and he especially hates the way you get on your knees for him during a dangerous mission. Finding out how pretty you look on your knees is the last thing he needs.

☼ Flustered, part 2

⭒ Bucky seems to thoroughly appreciate all women...except for you. When he finds out one of your weaknesses, he can't help but use it against you, which only makes you hate him more.

☼ Inevitable

⭒ While on a mission with Sam, John Walker, and Bucky, you're the only person exposed to a sex pollen. Bucky sure as hell isn't going to let anyone else take care of you.

☾ @viixenvi

☼ Red

⭒ You work at a strip club and Bucky is a regular. Tonight he specifically asks for you in a private room. You never thought he'd love the color red on you so much.

☾ @ro-is-struggling

☼ Self Care

⭒ Bucky always seemed interested in your skin care routine, so when one day he arrives tired and drained from a mission, you take the opportunity to show him the importance and benefits of self-care.

☾ @kinanabinks

☼ Silent Girl

⭒ After a traumatizing event, you aren’t the friendliest or most talkative of people. Bucky understands, and in turn becomes the one person you soften your hard exterior for.

☾ @angrythingstarlight

☼ Roommate Bucky

☾ @wkemeup

☼ Cold, Cold Water

⭒ While on a stakeout in the heart of Russia, Bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive.

☼ Drunk On You

⭒ Bucky has always been nervous around you. When he’s tasked with caring for you after a night of heavy drinking and suddenly you’re kissing him, Bucky doesn’t know what to do. You couldn’t possibly want him sober, right?

☼ Honey and Chamomile

⭒ Four cups of tea, four distinct moments in time, and each pulls you in closer beyond the walls surrounding Bucky’s heart.

☼ Suburbia

⭒ Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.

☼ Eclipse

⭒ When a mission leaves you empty and broken, Bucky is determined to heal the wounds that linger deeper than the cuts on the surface.

☼ Back to Bourbon Street

⭒ When you’re badly injured on a mission, Bucky works desperately to keep you alive. Only, it might not be enough.

☾ @espinosaurusrexex

☼ Bad Boys Don't Buy Flowers

⭒ Bucky would have never thought, he’d be chasing after a girl. Not when all of them usually fell at his feet. But when he finds himself entangled in a deal born out of a desperate argument with his assistant, he realizes there is nothing he wouldn't do for you: The independent florist who is adamantly dragging him to the homeless shelter every chance she gets. There is just one problem: Bucky doesn't know how to tell you. And the teasing from his friends is certainly not making things easier for him...

☾ @navybrat817

☼ Reconnect

⭒ Bucky Barnes is your best friend. You're also in love with him. After his recent breakup, the two of you get a chance to reconnect during a weeklong vacation together. Is it long enough to get your happy ending?

#marvel #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #“ass or tits?” bro A METAL ARM #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #tfatws #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #“i can change him” bitch why #hes a perfect menace to society and i love that #sebastian stan #mob!bucky #mob!au #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky x reader

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evertidings · 1 month

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— APRIL 2024.

hi. i’m still alive. and it’s fine, i’m doing as fine as i can be for someone who graduated and is now (helplessly) unemployed. how are you? i’m sorry for being so mia on here. i haven’t been active on tumblr for a long time—i know this. i’m not exactly proud of it, but being on here sucks energy out of me that i didn’t even know i had, sometimes.

it’s been a while since i’ve updated. i know this too. it’s probably been the longest i’ve ever made you wait for an update. and i hate saying this, but you might need to wait even more. to say i’ve struggled with this chapter is an understatement. more so than any other chapter i’ve written. i think it’s a mixture of the content and a bunch of life stuff that’s happened. but this project isn’t abandoned and i still love it dearly. it’s happening. it will happen.

i recently figured out what i’m writing for the rest of the chapter and it’s so exciting. with the romance lock coming up, i’ve been sneaking in little hints and teasing from other characters about which way your hunter has swayed so far (like K smirking at how the hunter blushes at Rylan’s affection, for example). it adds so much to the story and i’m really happy i was convinced to keep it in. for a while, i thought it might be too early to write this stuff, but fuck it. it’s my story.

the goal is to have this chapter out sometime in june, though that’s very optimistic. i’ll see how much i can write in this month and give you all a more realistic update when the time comes. that said, i will be taking a (mini) grad trip at the end of the month, so i probably won’t be able to write as much as i’d like, but, you know. four years of uni. i deserve it.

anyway, thank you all for being so patient. i’ll try and get around to a couple of asks in the next few days. love you <3

#update #when twilight strikes #the midnight hours #interactive fiction

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duhnova · 2 months

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Cry-Baby | Choi Seungcheol

synopsis. decked out in leather and riding a harley davidson like he’s got business with the devil, choi seungcheol was the talk of your small town. everyone looked down on him and when you come home for the first time since starting uni you find it hard to believe that the pouty lipped kid you tossed off the merry-go-round when you were six was some slick haired delinquent.

pairing. biker!choi seungcheol x fem!reader

word count: 4.9k

genre. fluff, angst, opposites attract, drama?, kind of college au

warning(s): mentions of parent death, mentions of parent illness, alcohol, let me know if i forgot anything!

this is apart of a 90's collab! you should check out everyone elses fics! - there might be a smutty & more angsty part 2 to this if there’s enough interest! also huge shoutout to @onlyhuis and @onlymingyus for proofreading for me, ily guys <3

When you left for university three years ago you never wanted to return home, the small town always made you feel claustrophobic. But now you’re sitting on a train, about an hour away from your childhood, the sony walkman you got as a graduation present from high school sat in your lap as you listened to the same nirvana cassette on repeat.

The nerves of being home began to get to you as the familiar views of the old trailer park that sat outside your town came into view. An old pickup truck that adorns the same white and blue paint of your best friend's truck drives down the road that travels along the train tracks and it makes you wonder if it’s him coming to meet you at the station.

“We’ll be arriving at the station within the next five minutes.” The worker smiled at you as she continued down the aisle of seats to tell the other patrons of the cart that the train will be stopping for a couple minutes at your stop before embarking to the next station.

You put your walkman in your pocket so that you aren’t scrambling to gather your things when the train stops. Just as you got your backpack situated the train jolted a little as its breaks screech to a stop.

“Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our next stop.” The worker's voice is drowned out by your music as you stand up and grab your suitcase before hopping out the door with the worker's help in lifting your bag down.

“Thank you!” You call out and wave as the door closes and the train takes off again, no one else got on or off.

“Y/N!” You hear a familiar voice call from behind you, the roar of a diesel engine brings a certain comfort to you that you haven’t felt since you left.

“Gyu!” You call out with a smile on your face, the change in his appearance being more shocking in person than you thought it would be, having only seen him in pictures he sent from the crappy disposable cameras he and his friends like to use. All the work he’s been doing on his family's ranch has paid off as his muscles glisten with dirt and sweat.

“I’ve missed you cherry pop.” He hugs you tightly as you laugh at the nickname he gave you years ago because you always had cherry lollipops on you.

“I’ve.. missed you too.” You choke between laughs and the way he was squeezing you a little too tightly.

“Sorry,” He laughs as he lets you go to grab your suitcase instead. “Are you hungry? It was a long travel day for you.”

“I could eat.” You smile as you take your headphones off to let them rest around your neck as you follow your best friend to his truck that was still running and emitting a gross smell of diesel.

“Great, let’s go to pops diner.” He lifts your suitcase over the side of the truck bed like it was nothing before he opens the door for you to get in. The leather of his seats were warm from his heater that left the cabin toasty unlike the train car you had been sitting in almost all day.

“How are you?” You ask about the owner of the diner who was well into his 70’s at this point, his restaurant having been open for almost five decades at this point.

“He’s doing good, got his hip replaced last summer,” Mingyu shifts the car into drive after he reversed out of the spot he parked at. “Still kickin, Cheols mom still works there too.” The mention of your old childhood playmate makes you smile bittersweetly. The last time you two had talked was before you left for college and he seemed angry about everything in life and he took it out on you leaving a sour taste in your mouth and the lack of communication between the two of you over the past few years.

“That’s nice, how is she doing? I remember last you told me she was in the hospital for something.” Mingyu sighs a little from beside you.

“Yeah she was, took me forever to get anything out of Cheol about it but she’s doing good now. Or so I’ve been told.” Seungcheol had always been hard headed and he’d rather talk about other people's problems than his own so it didn’t surprise you that Mingyu had to dig for some type of answer from him.

“Is she working today? I’d love to see her…” Your voice trailed off as you thought about the lady’s son, who you desperately wanted to see as well but how you left things made you hesitant.

“Not today, she’s off for the weekend.” You nod, mumbling that it’s nice that she takes the weekend for herself.

“I know you and Cheol had some blowout when you left but I’m going to see him later after I drop you off, if you wanna come with you’re more than welcome too.”

“What’re you two doing?” Mingyu was surprised you didn’t immediately shoot down his offer, he thought it would take more convincing.

“We’re going to the river for a bonfire with Jeonghan and Wonwoo.”

“They’re home too?” They had both left for college around the same time you had.

“Yeah, they come home every break they can.. Unlike someone I know.” He laughs lightheartedly. You huff quietly, unsure of how to respond. How do you respond anyways? You never wanted to come back, memories weighed heavy on your heart and the only thing keeping you to your hometown was the friends that resided in it.

“Hey,” Mingyu's voice softens. “I get it, you got out when you saw the chance and I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you.” Your voice was just as soft as you watched the familiar scenery zip by. A nice silence fell between the two of you as he focused on driving, the train station sitting a couple miles out from the town you used to live in.

“The bank sold the house by the way.” Mingyu broke the silence, a nervous sweat settled on his forehead as he broke the news to you.

“About time.” You sigh, another weight you didn’t realize you were holding lifted off your shoulders. “Less for me to deal with now.”

“You’re not upset?” Mingyu looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

“No,” You sit up straighter and begin picking at the hem of your jacket. “My father was a drunk with thousands of dollars of debt he owed the bank so I’m not even surprised they sold it to make back what they lost and then some I’m sure.”

“At least an actual family bought it instead of some corporation.” Mingyu tried to lighten the mood. “They just moved in and they have a newborn and a cute dog that I think you’d like.”

“What kind of dog is it?” You side eye Mingyu, appreciative of the fact he moved on from the sensitive topic so quickly.

“A corgi, they said it’s a black tricolor… Whatever that means.”

“It’s the fur color, it’s mainly black with a little bit of brown and white?”

“Yes! See this is why you went to college, you’re smart as hell.” You shake your head with a smile on your face.

“You’re smart too, Gyu, and not going to college doesn’t affect that.” He shrugs as he slows his speed down after approaching the edge of town.

“If you say so cherry pop.” Just as he pulled up to the first stoplight the roar of a loud engine could be heard from a distance.

“I bet that’s Cheol.” You look at Mingyu confused before your question gets lost once you see the helmet less Seungcheol sped by on a motorcycle you had never seen before, his once dark hair was bleached blonde.

“That’s Cheol?” You asked as you watched him disappear down the opposite street you and Mingyu turned down.

“Yeah, he changed quite a bit since you left.” That was an understatement as Seungcheol looked as big as Mingyu, maybe bigger if you dared to think.

“I can see that, can’t believe he bleached his hair.”

“He did that pretty recently actually, said he needed a change and decided the worst that could happen is his hair would fall out.”

“He’d look good with a buzz cut.” Mingyu laughs at the thought causing you to laugh too.

“You should tell him that tonight when we hang out, I guarantee he’ll either blow a gasket or take you seriously and actually cut his hair off.”

“He would drown me in the river first before he’d listen to me.”

“I don’t know cherry pop, you were very influential to him for a long time. Remember how he did your bidding all throughout elementary school?”

“Yeah cause I tossed him off the merry-go-round at recess and he decided he was scared of me until junior high.”

“I think we were all scared of you after that,” Mingyu puts the car in park after pulling up to the diner. “The older kids wouldn’t mess with me either because you scared them too.” The fact Mingyu is younger than you by two years makes you question reality as he’s much bigger then you now and has been since junior high.

“Still wild to think about.” You laugh as Mingyu hops out the truck to run over and open the door for you, he’s never allowed you to open your own door since he started driving.

“Oh, I guess Cheol’s mom is working today.” Mingyu closes the door behind you and puts the key in the handle to lock it as he stares at the familiar woman through the window that was taking someone’s order. “Someone must’ve called out of work today.”

The two of you walk to the front door together, making small talk about anything and everything. Seungcheol’s mother greeted the two of you with a smile and handed you two menus once you sat down.

“It’s good to see you sweetheart.” She smiles widely at you, she was always like a second mother to you growing up especially after you mothers untimely passing.

“It’s good to see you too, you look great.” You smile warmly, despite any animosity you might feel for her son right now you will never be able to hate this woman.

“I’ll start you two off with some water?” You both nod, prompting her to walk away.

“So how’s the ranch?” You scan the menu, already knowing what you want but wanting to check to see if anything new was added.

“It’s good, Cheol doesn’t work there anymore.” Mingyu doesn’t look up from his menu to see your surprised expression. “Mr. Johnson offered him a job as a mechanic after seeing the work he would do on the farm equipment.”

“Mechanics suit him.” You smile at his mother when she comes back with your waters.

“Do you two know what you want?” You both nod, letting Mingyu order first despite the look he gave you after you shrug and take a big gulp of your water. “Are you getting your usual sweetheart?” She turns to you.

“How do you remember what I used to order?” Your eyes widen.

“You’d order the same thing almost every time you’d come here since you were a kid and I’ve been working here longer than you’ve been alive so I have it practically engraved into my memory.” She laughs quietly as she takes your menus. “You and my son are the same in your consistency in ordering the same thing.”

“Oh.” You could feel your face heating up at the thought. You’re happy she didn’t bother to push a conversation as she went to help more people that came in.

“You and Cheol are as opposite as opposite can be.”

“You don’t say.” You roll your eyes playfully.

The banter between you and Mingyu continued on, even after your food came you both found something to poke — and trust me there was a lot to poke at that has happened over the past three years that couldn’t be conveyed over letters and the occasional call here and there.

“We should head out now, get you to the ranch so you can clean up and rest before tonight.” Mingyu paid for your guy's food like the gentleman he is and held the door open for you as you walked out into the warm summer air.

“Am I obligated to go swimming tonight?” Mingyu shakes his head.

“You’re not but we’ll all be swimming so,” He hops into the truck after opening the door for you. “Just to be safe you might wanna wear your swimsuit.”

“Got it.” You nod your head before watching out the window again, committing your old hometown to memory again. The drive to the ranch was peaceful and long, sitting a few miles out of town on the opposite side of where the diner was.

Once you got to Mingyu's house and greeted his family and caught up, you went to the spare room upstairs to unload your bags and lay on the bed to unwind. A quick nap was sure to help the oncoming headache you got so after changing your clothes to be a little more comfortable you crawl under the freshly cleaned blanket and almost instantly knock out.

A couple hours pass by before Mingyu is knocking on the door to wake you up, telling you the guys are heading to the river now and that you two need to get going soon.

Groaning quietly as you sit up in bed and stretch, it felt nice to not have to worry about anything as this is the first summer you decided to not take summer classes as you'd be graduating early after this upcoming fall semester. Getting up and taking your walkman out of your bag again you took out the nirvana cassette and put in green day instead, the music more uplifting and giving you an ounce of energy to put your swimsuit on and a pair of shorts and jacket to cover yourself.

“How was your nap dear?” Mingyu's mother greeted you as you walked down the stairs, your friend standing by the door waiting (im)patiently for you.

“Amazing, sitting all day in those train seats takes a toll on your back.” You take your walkman headphones off and half hazardously shove them into your jacket pocket.

“Tell me about it, I can’t sit for too long now without going stiff.” She smiles warmly as she wishes you two well as you b-line to the door after Mingyu told you to hurry up.

“Couldn’t even give me time to say bye.” You grumble as you shuffle up to the truck where Mingyu was holding the door for you.

“Sorry cherry pop, the guys are waiting for us and we still gotta get drinks.”

“Why are we getting the drinks?” You buckle up and put your headphones back on, both of your tastes in music are dramatically different as he puts in a country cassette into the radio.

“You’re home, they want you to get what you want instead of drinking what they like.”

“They still drink that shitty dollar beer right?” Mingyu nods. “Then we drink the same thing, not much has changed as I still couldn’t afford the expensive stuff being at college.”

“Great, that makes this run cheap.” The ride to the corner store was quick, the street lights lining the road leading from the ranch to town making the trees look ominous.

Once you guys had secured the alcohol you made your way to the river. The long body of water stretched for miles outside of town in both directions, and the one spot you guys have always met up at since junior high was hidden away. You had thick bushes to climb through and poison ivy to look out for as it wasn’t a regular site on the river to be at.

“Mingyu! Y/N!” Jeonghan called happily when he saw the two of you emerge from the bushes. The bonfire was already large and roaring while Cheol and Wonwoo were already in the water swimming.

“Hannie!” You smile and hug him happily, he was always the least affectionate person so when he offered you a hug you always took it.

“How have you been? It’s been years!” He pulls away from the hug to greet Mingyu while sitting down in his chair and pats the one next to him that looked to have been occupied by Seungcheol at one point based on the jacket hanging on it.

“I’ve been good, college has been tough but I'm graduating a semester early.” You smile at Mingyu who hands you a beer before he sets the box down and makes quick work to strip down to his swim trunks so he can join the other two in the water. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been great, graduating a semester later than I should've, but I took a light load last semester because I was back and forth to be here for Cheol while his mom was in the hospital.” you nod your head while taking a drink of your beer. You never realized that his mom being in the hospital was that bad.

“Mingyu didn’t tell me much about her being in the hospital so I didn’t realize it was that bad.” You look out at the three guys who are currently climbing the rock in the middle of the river so they can jump into the water.

“He wanted to write to you, ever since you left it’s all he had been beside himself about but when his mother got sick he wanted to write to you even more.” Jeonghans voice was soft, nervous that the said male would hear your two's conversation and start hounding him for spilling the secret.

“I wanted to write him too, but-“

“But you couldn’t, I’m not as hard headed as Seungcheol so I get why but I don’t get why you couldn’t have let him down sooner.” You sigh, this was a conversation you knew you’d have eventually as Jeonghan was Seungcheols best friend outside of you and he was the only one that knew about you two.

“I wanted to, believe me it was never my plan to break things off the day I was leaving but I was selfish and didn’t want to let him go yet.��

“You are selfish,” You laugh quietly, thanking him. “But he’s selfish too, this town holds too many bad memories for you and he wanted to tie you to it when you finally had the chance to escape it.”

“You know, I asked him to come with me.” You took another sip of your beer, your eyes back on the blonde who seemed to feel you staring as he tilted his head back and gave you a bitter smirk. “When I first got the acceptance letter and I was on the fence about going, he wanted me to go but he also wanted me to stay and so I told him to come with me so I didn’t have to choose.”

“He never told me that.” Jeonghan opens up another beer and gingerly takes a sip of it.

“I’m not surprised, I think he thought it was a joke.” You finally tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to look at Jeonghan. “After that I didn’t tell him I committed and just continued to relish our time together.”

“Y’know, he wanted you to go because this was your dream but he wanted to be a part of that dream and you keeping that from him and then cutting ties with him when you left is what broke him.”

“I didn’t mean to.” You mumbled and looked down at your half empty beer can. “He was the one that told me that if I wasn’t willing to make things work then he didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Well he’s dumb,” Jeonghan takes another sip. “But so are you.”

“I know.” You close your eyes and sigh, letting your head lull back on the chair.

“Are you going to talk to him while you’re home? It is the first time you’ve been home since leaving after all.”

“This isn’t my home anymore.” You don’t bother to open your eyes as you take in the warm night air. This hasn’t been your home since you left and it hasn’t felt like home for far longer, the only thing (or person) that made you feel remotely anchored here was Seungcheol.

“It was your home at one point, and I'd argue it still is because Seungcheol and the rest of us are here.”

“Corny loser.” You mumble, a small smile cracking at your lips before you sit up straight. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I had been prepping myself all week to mend things between us while I was here.”

“Good.” Jeonghan smiles and downs the rest of his beer. “Now hurry up and finish drinking so we can go join them in the water before it gets colder.”

“You’re going to die in that water, it’s too cold for you already.” You laugh before downing the rest of your beer so you can strip down to your swimsuit, making sure not to toss your walkman around too much.

“I’ll manage.” He shrugs after taking his clothes off too before walking cautiously up to the edge of the water. He barely touches it with his big toe and he curses.

“Told you,” You stand beside him and watch his reaction. “You just gotta go in as quick as you can.” You show him how it’s done as you take a deep breath in and hold it as you quickly walk into the water before you’re deep enough to dive under.

“Show off.” He huffs before he follows in your footsteps, cursing the whole way up to his shoulders.

“You did it han,” Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “You’re shivering already.”

“It’s fucking cold and you’re all insane.” He huffs and starts to swim around a little, letting the cold water soothe his warm skin.

“I think it feels good.” You had popped back up next to Mingyu who was standing with Seungcheol who was watching Jeonghan worried.

“It does feel good.” Mingyu lets the water support his body as he starts to swim backwards, no longer being a wall between you and the ire of your freshman year of college.

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Wonwoo gives you a small smile before he also swims away, leaving you and Seungcheol alone and seeing the look on Jeonghan's face in the distance makes you believe that this was planned. He clears his throat when he seems to realize you two are alone.

“Um,” Is all he manages to say before you’re taking a deep breath and turning to look at him.

“Hi Seungcheol.” He flinches at the use of his full name.

“Ouch, hi litt-“ He catches himself using the old nickname he had for you. “Hi Y/N.”

“God I hate this.” You can’t be bothered to hide the fact that the whole situation makes you sad and angry already, you missed him and he was right there in front of you and you were both acting like you wanted nothing to do with each other, which might’ve been true right after you had left but as time went on it faded into longing and anger at oneself.

“You hate this? How do you think I feel?” He crosses his arms and looks down at you.

“Cheol I-“

“I don’t want to hear excuses.”

“Ok asshole I was going to apologize but not anymore.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him so you could swim away, the conversation you had with Jeonghan felt like complete bullshit now.

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm to spin you back around, the water splashing violently at the fast movement. “I’m sorry, for everything.” It was rare that he’d ever apologize and right now it felt out of place as he had no reason to apologize at the moment.

“I practiced how this conversation would go for weeks and this was not one of the ways I accounted for. You weren’t supposed to apologize first.” You look up at Seungcheol who was just staring at you silently now, his hand still holding tightly on your arm. “Seungcheol I-“

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop interrupting,” You huff, the smallest smile forming on his face “I’m sorry for how I left things and for everything leading up to when I left.”

“Y’know, I spent most of the first year you were gone blaming you, and then I started blaming myself until my mother made me realize that neither of us were to blame and then I spent the remainder of the time just numb.”

“If you stopped blaming me, how come you didn’t write to me?”

“You never wrote to me.” He sounded hurt and you were hurt too but you hated the pain in his voice and it caused you to move closer to him, hoping you could erase even just a hint of it.

“I’m sorry, there was never a time where I didn’t think about writing to you but your words kept playing in my head about how you never wanted to hear from me if I left our relationship behind.”

“It wasn’t much of a relationship then was it, we were just friends exploring each other,” That’s what you liked to tell eachother when you were in denial about your feelings. “I wrote letters, most of them are stamped and sitting in my desk drawer because I couldn’t bring myself to send them.”

“Yet you bought stamps for them?” You raise an eyebrow curiously.

“Yes,” He huffs, trying to hide the ounce of embarrassment he’s feeling. “I’d get these bouts of feelings where I’d want to send them and I’d get all the way to the post office with a stamp on the envelope and the second I’d park I’d back out and go back home only to hide it away with the others.”

“Cheol…”

“I know it’s probably stupid and I’ll just burn them all now since you’re home and-“

“I’m not staying,” You cut him off for some reason. “I mean I’m staying for the summer but I’m going back home to finish my last semester of college so I can get a job at a vet clinic there.”

“That’s ok, this time I promise I will write.”

“You should come with me.” You blurt out like you did all those years ago.

“I can’t leave my mother, she won’t leave this town and with her health fluctuating I just can’t.” He gave you an actual answer this time unlike he did when you were younger.

“I get it, she needs you.. But one day you have to leave this place, don’t you think?” Your hand gently touches his arm as you drift even closer to him.

“I never thought of leaving until you left.” He mumbled as his hands moved to ghost over your sides that were under the water.

“One day?” You sounded hopeful. “Even if we’re old and married to other people do you think you’d still leave?”

“I..” His voice trailed off as your breath got closer to his face. “I’d never marry… unless it was you.” He whispered before he finally kissed you, the weight of what he said disappearing as you both got lost in the taste of each other. After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away out of breath, a quiet whistle could be heard from behind Seungcheol somewhere and you assumed it had to be Jeonghan since Mingyu would’ve quite literally jumped the two of you.

“Cheol- '' He cuts you off.

“Let's enjoy the night, yeah?” He didn’t want to talk about what he just said, or what the future would hold anymore. It’ll take time, you both realized, for things to go back to normal but for now you were content with how things were because this time he knew what to expect when summer ends, he just hoped that you’d change your mind about long distance relationships. And you hoped he’d change his mind about rotting away in this small town.

feedback + reblogs greatly appreciated! let me know what you guys thought!

#svthub #kvanity #kflixnet #90’s collab #scoups #seungcheol #scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #scoups fluff #scoups angst #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol angst #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA for not taking my ADHD meds?

I (m 21) have ADHD. My girlfriend (20) does not. We’ve been dating for just over a year. I don’t like taking my ADHD meds bc 1) they’re expensive, 2) it’s too difficult for me to maintain a regular schedule which makes them basically useless, and mostly, 3) I don’t like how they make me feel. I feel more like myself when I don’t take them.

My girlfriend gets really frustrated/angry at me when I’m off my meds. She says I’m too irresponsible and I forget when we have dates planned, when we have uni assessments due (we both do the same degree), I lose things all the time, things like that. I tell her that’s just part of who I am, and if she cares about me she just needs to deal with that.

She likes to be the boss in most situations, and my friends have said she’s controlling. I’ve given up smoking for her, and I’ve converted to Christianity for her bc she doesn’t believe in sex before marriage (side note: I’m bisexual but she thinks same sex attraction is a sin. We don’t really talk about it but it does bother me a bit). I honestly don’t mind her calling the shots most of the time, and I really care about her so much. I can imagine getting married to her one day (we’d both be happy to get married young, just out of uni). She can come across as super tough and cold when u first meet her, and I think that’s why my friends think she’s controlling, but really she’s just insecure like everyone else and acting tough is how she deals with that. When we’re alone she’s soft and gentle and smiley, and I like that she saves that side of her just for me.

But this is something that really pisses me off that she tries to control. She says I’m not thinking about her and our relationship by not taking my ADHD medication, and it’s damaging our relationship. I tell her she needs to learn how to be more flexible and that this is real me. It’s only damaging our relationship bc she’s making it a problem. Yeah, I fuck up more often when I’m not on my meds, but I’ve already made huge life changes for her, and it doesn’t feel fair, basically. My friends agree with me, but they don’t like my gf, so I’m not exactly taking them at their word.

Am I the asshole??

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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dokiyeom · 1 year

Text

AYA’S SEVENTEEN FIC RECS

note: ngl i meant to post this in dec as an end of 2022 sort of thing and as a bit of an apology for my inactivity,, but my mental health has not been fantastic,, but here are some of my favorite seventeen fics that i’ve read !! also ps pls feel free to send me some of ur own favs bc i miss reading fics && i’m begrudgingly admitting that i’m not great at finding fics,, like sm of these i have to thank yeona for sending me :00

ot13/multi/love interest revealed later on !!

UNDER THE SUN - @wooahaes (series // fantasy/darl+ing au // multi ot13 part)

i think i’ve rbed almost all the individual parts if ur interested in my more specific thoughts but this series has been an absolute comfort series for me for a while !! the relationships between the members and the reader - both platonic and romantic have been so lovely to read !! it’s such a genuinely warm series and the worldbuilding is also just soso fantastic !! it is a fantasy sort of au,, so it’s a bit daunting to get into just because the logic of the universes created in this genre is a bit difficult to grasp,, but uts has such an easy to comprehend world and everything is explained so clearly !! it’s genuinely one of the most comforting fics i’ve read this year and one that i’d highly recommend to pretty much everyone,, even if u aren’t a carat :D

APARTMENT A5C - @suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

my favorite svt smau that combines some of my fav tropes/aus (housemates and uni) !! ++ i’d argue there’s a found family aspect that just melts my heart soso much,, like the reader’s relationship with the 96 line, both platonic and romantic are insanely heartwarming and comforting !! the banter is so entertaining && all of the additional friendships are just to die for !! esp sana and yuta with the reader !! but honestly this smau is just soso sweet and a story where u really root for the main couple to get together bc they just fit each other so well !! def another fic i’d recommend to anyone !!

LOVESTRUCK @/suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

short endings for the reader’s other housemates !! has the same entertaining banter and cute relationship buildup that is just soso perfect to read after apartment a5c to treat ur post fic sadness <3 all the relationships are formed in a shorter period of time, but with just that same amount of investment !!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

OBVIOUS - @leejungchans (0.9k words - wedding florist and baker au)

so stinking cute !! the reader and seungcheol having related businesses and appreciating each other’s dedications to their respective crafts is soso endearing :D genuinely my fav seungcheol fic bc hello ? good writing + sulky cheol + established relationship ? an absolute 10/10 and must read that i revisit way too often :D

YOON JEONGHAN

ORDER UP - @/leejungchans (2.4k - cafe au)

half of these r gonna b recs from sol’s masterlist,, but her works r just too good !! this fic is so darn cute and entertaining, with jeonghan’s antics + his classic attention n care for those in his life were captured so well !! him remembering the reader’s order and his sheer dedication to orchestrating an opportunity for a conversation outside of the reader placing their order was just so fun to read && is genuinely a fic i reread time and time again :D

CAUGHT @/leejungchans (1.1k - preschool? teachers au)

this. this is so insanely endearing hello ?? jeonghan as a preschool teacher is absolutely perfect, and the banter mixed with such tender love that the reader and jeonghan share is just so <3 it’s a relatively short read,, so i’d highly, HIGHLY, recommend giving this a read because it’s soso worth it,, esp if ur feeling a bit down and in need of something fun and sweet to read :D

REDEMPTION @/leejungchans (11.5k)

such whirlwind of emotions but soso insanely riveting !! bad boy jeonghan,,, oh my gosh a concept i (YOU !!) never knew i (YOU !!) needed in my life. him driving a motorcycle. him w tattoos. insane. amazing. fantastic. and a redemption arc ??? reader holding him accountable for wrongdoings ??? genuine efforts to change ?? go read it rn !! u must !!

CANDLELIGHT @/leejungchans (1.2k) - a fav bc its own of my fav tropes :D (blind dates)

my all time favorite jeonghan fic. literally so sweet to read and had me grinning ?? in the middle of the night ?? at my phone !! that’s outrageous !! but so insanely understandable bc this is such an enjoyable read && just so easily heartwarming to hear about the setup of the blind date. honestly,, i don’t think i can understate just how charming and worth reading this is !!

THE MOST PRECIOUS THING @idyllic-ghost (3.6k - hospital/secret relationship au)

another charming and lovely fic !!! i’m such a sucker for the secret relationship trope,, and this fic had such a fantastic take on it !! i adored the dynamic that jeonghan and the reader had, esp how much they cared for and rooted for each other :DD the banter at work and the tender love they share at home was also just,, absolutely chef’s kiss !!

HONG JOSHUA

LOVE ON THE AIR @suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

i was. so invested in this smau LMAO but the reader and joshua’s friendship was soso lovely to read !! the buildup and tension were absolutely insane and genuinely had me so excited every time i logged onto tumblr to check for any updates :D the side friendships were also just so lovable and endearing,, and i found this smau to overall b super super charming :D

GOLDEN HOUR @dkfile 1(2.4k - summer vacation/bffs2l au)

joshua and the reader’s friendship is just so insanely sweet and endearing to read !! this fic is so reminiscent of a sentimental and fun coming of age romance,, which i feel like fits joshua soso well !! the whole time ur rooting soso hard for the main couple to get together, and just reading the buildup is incredibly entertaining !! and also the banter ?? literally so amazing && funny :D

WEN JUNHUI

HOW HARD MY HEART’S BEATING @adi--writes (3.3k - travel/photographer au)

the prose,, oh my gosh !! this fic played out so cinematically !! i loved jun and the reader’s friendship so much,, and how the fic progresses just naturally makes u root for a confession scene regardless of them being the main couple !! everything flowed so organically and their travel stories made for such a beautiful and compelling journey of love :D

KWON SOONYOUNG

(UN)TRADITIONAL @neonun-au (1.8k - wedding au)

the alt title >>> this fic was so full of personality and the premise just fits soonyoung so well !!! the bond that the reader and soonyoung share is just so insanely heartwarming,, esp their mutual understanding and respect for each other’s values !! in general,, the love in this fic is so genuine and lovable :DDD

JEON WONWOO

FLOWER @wonwoonlight (13k - exes au / editor+writer au)

this premise. my gosh it’s perfect !! this fic was such a great take on the second chance trope and the emotions were so fantastically fleshed out !! the progression of wonwoo and the reader’s relationship felt so natural and overall so enjoyable to read :DD

PLAY AGAIN @shuarush (37k words - coworkers au)

the pining !! the tension !! the friendships !! the anecdotes !! the prose !! go read it !! rn !! overall this was such a beautiful journey to read and i enjoyed it soso much :D aside from the main relationship,, i found the reader and jeonghan’s friendship to be soso sweet and endearing !! i also loved loved loved !!!! the writing style in this fic !! everything was so well paced and patient,, which made for such a compelling and beautiful journey that i absolutely loved !!

LEE JIHOON

LIVE @wondernus (1.24k - est relationship au)

so stinking cute !!!! i’m such a sucker for fics like these where the love interest is live and everyone’s also swooning over how sweet the relationship is :DD the love jihoon has for the reader is soso heartwarming and fuels my unending yearning for this sort of cute partnership <//3 this fic is just so enjoyable and the ending. it’s perfect :DDD bc same soonyoung,, same

HEARTACHE AND A LATTE @dkfile (9.3k - cafe au)

read this after not reading any fics for a WHILE and this was just such a chef’s kiss fic :D like the friendships with seungkwan, soonyoung, jeonghan, and wonwoo ?? amazing !!! but the buildup w jihoon !!! my gosh it was so genuinely cute !! i absolutely adored their friendship and the little indications of jihoon’s feelings for the reader :D just such a cute and lighthearted fic that i’d highly rec !!!

LEE SEOKMIN

SOMETHING SWEET @wonwoonlight (2.1k - cafe au)

your honor i love this fic !!!! w all my heart !!!! this fic captured just how lovable seokmin is && had such a cute pining plot :DD this was soso heartwarming and i was so easily invested in their relationship !! overall,, just such a sweet and enjoyable read :DD

KIM MINGYU

MY DAISY @wonwoonlight (series)

this. this was so fantastic. genuinely,,, everyone needs to read this when they can bc it is soso worth reading !!! i loved the friendships and the reader’s relationship with mingyu so much,, and gyuri !!!! gyuri !!!!! honestly i don’t think i can explain just how much i love this fic,, but pls,, pls read this bc this series is so insanely fantastic and had me so invested the whole way :DD

FIVE SHOTS AT LOVE @wooahaes (8.5k)

one of my favorite fics !! one of the first fics i read and i just absolutely fell in love with the setup of this fic,,, like the friendship with wonwoo just absolutely won my heart,, and the deepening relationship with the reader was the cherry on top !! such a beautiful and emotionally vulnerable fic that i found so much joy and sadness, but ultimately such an insane amount of comfort in :D def read and check out some of the warnings beforehand just in case !!

TRIAL AND ERROR @/leejungchans (2.9k - cafe au)

SUCH a cute little fic about mingyu trying to approach the reader but failing so miserably each time :D i had such a great time reading this and rooting for mingyu in each attempt !! his genuine earnestness was so adorable to read the way the ending panned out gave me so many giggles :D

XU MINGHAO

ACADEMIC INFATUATION @berriesandjunnie (2.5k - professor au)

i love a college setting, workplace romance, and any au where everyone around the reader/main couple are just rooting so hard for them to get together !!! and omg professor hao AND flustered hao ?? like bc of his feelings and nervousness ?? omg literally such a lovely read !!! i had such a good time reading this && got a bit of a giggle which is so 10/10 when reading a fic !!! def read !!!!

AVANTE GARDE @hoyoungy (4.1k - uni/artist au)

tbh as someone who really loves art,, i found this fic suuper enjoyable !! and black mullet minghao ?? hello ?? overall,, i loved the development of minghao and the reader’s relationship soso much and the general nature of how they get to know one another :D like i was soso invested in their journey and just really loved the appreciation both of them grow and have for each other :DD vv worth reading and would highly recommend :D

BOO SEUNGKWAN

CLASSMATES TO LOVERS @/leejungchans (2.1l uni au)

bulletfics are def such a gem to read,, like short n sweet,, just perfect for a cute little fic :D i adored seungkwan’s impression of the reader and his sheer admiration for them !! like the chemistry was so on point and executed so well in this format too !! AND THE CHOCOLATES gosh this is so cute i love how seungkwan was written in this fic !!

CHWE VERNON

WORK HUSBAND @wondernus (8.8k - teacher au)

my gosh this was soso cute,, like literally i’ve reread this more times than i can admit :0 the reader and vernon’s friendship is just so endearing and felt so genuine !! i really enjoyed reading the buildup of their relationship and just found this to be such a charming story !! like what i would give. to read this for the first time again PLEASE read this !!!

OR WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME @thepixelelf (7.9k - soulmate au)

a whole journey of emotions that had me on the edge of my seat and waiting for the reveal !!! the relationship between the reader and vernon were established so well,, like their genuine care and desire for each other to stay in their lives just straight up tugs at my heartstrings !!! this was such a wholesome and hilarious love story that i thoroughly enjoyed :D

LEE CHAN (aka leejungchans chan fics :DDD)

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS (6.5k words - flower/tattoo shop au)

i loved the contrast between the reader and chan’s character soso much,, and how that ultimately made their relationship soso much more cute and lovable ?? like how intimidated he was and his little crush that he tried so hard to squander !! i love the progression of their relationship soso much and how genuine chan was written in this fic !!!!

OF STICKY NOTES AND STRANGERS (3.8k words)

every time i sit in a library, cafe, or park, i’m waiting for this to happen to me. i adore the premise of this soso much and how the reader’s friend group schemes to catch the perpetrator :DD like overall this fic was so lovely and i def understand the little crushes you get in public on attractive people in your vicinity while working in a public space :DD just so cute,, so heartwarming,, and def fuels my yearning

SCORED! (12.4k words - uni au)

athlete chan,,, oh wow,,,,, this fic was one of the first chan fics i read as i got into seventeen and definitely cemented him as one of my biases in the group :DD i love the banter that went on between the reader and chan,, as well as all the hilarious little details of the other columns !! like project vernway is forever ingrained in my mind whenever i see pieces christiano siriano or any other contestants from project runway !!! overall i just love how this fic played out and all of the hilarious interactions between everyone involved !!! def a super fun read :DDD

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atinyniki · 7 months

Text

flowers and confessions.

group: stray kids !

pairing: nonidol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: fluff, pinch of angst

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, reader and chan are both whipped for eachother, chan is referred to as channie, yeji of ITZY and changbin have a crush on eachother in this au for the sake of the plot (NOT SHIPPING), reader and yeji are roommates, love confessions, college au, reader and chan like cooking together.

authors note: this is something i was doing with a friend of mine at uni a year back but he had a gf </3 i never ended up confessing, so i decided to make this story a happy ending :) this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3733

“and she’s more of a tulip girl than a rose girl. got that?”

“yes ma’am”, chan chuckles nervously.

“listen to me chan. you’re a good man, and i know if she gives you a chance she’ll give in eventually. just… please don’t fuck it up.”

chan nods his head slowly, processing what she’s said to him. “okay, i’ll try my best not to. thank you, yeji”

she nods, escorting chan out of her home.

‘what could i do…?’, chan thinks to himself. the walk his dorm isn’t all that time consuming, but it feels even longer with the thoughts of you plaguing his mind.

the envelopes on his desk seem to strike up an idea. you guys are best friends, he doesn’t want to ruin anything of course. so… why not confess anonymously?

“like… love letters? from a secret admirer?”, changbin asks incredulously.

“yeah… im sure she’ll tell me about the letters and then… i can ask if she likes them. you know?”

changbin sighs, staring at chans lovestruck face. “you do you. i don’t need any letters because… i’ve got these.”, changbin says as he points to his biceps and wiggles his eyebrows. “shut up bin”, chan chuckles.

he quickly goes back to his room, writing the first letter as an opening. he quickly writes the letter, placing it in an envelope and closing it with a red wax stamp.

the excitement was getting to him, he had a hard time sleeping that night.

“seriously…?”, yeji stares at him, completely unamused.

“what… is it bad?”

“dude. i give you all of that info, and you use it for love letters?”

chan sheepishly nods at her. he knows it’s crazy, but he just doesn’t want to say anything face to face yet. you’re such great friends already, he’s afraid that he’ll ruin things.

“yeji, listen. this way, if i ask her about the letters and she says they’re weird or something, i won’t have to handle direct rejection. she would never know it was me.”

yeji seems to be understanding this more now. “ah… i see. go on then, make sure to make them super sappy. she loves that… for some reason.”, she rolls her eyes.

chan bows quickly, rushing to his next class. he can’t stand being late to this one. it’s his favorite class, not because of the subject, but because of you. seeing your face and being able to sit next to you brightens up his mondays every time.

you watch as he makes his way up the stairs, a small smile on his face. “hey chan”

“hey”, he says with a smile.

he takes a seat next to you, the warmth emitting from his body. you love that you can sit next to your best friend first thing in the morning, especially in the winter.

your professor walks in, and you both immediately focus on your work. mr. bae is no joke. chan makes small talk with you of course, as much as he possibly can without being scolded by your professor. he’s been caught too many times for him to be let off easy this time around.

class ends not too long after, meaning the two of you have to part ways for now. it’s okay though, you always hang out outside of school anyways.

you make your way to your locker to put away some things before your next class. you don’t have much time, but luckily the class is in the same hall.

you open the locker and put away your things, but something catches your eye. a beautiful pink tulip, placed nicely on top of a white envelope. there’s a cute heart on the wax seal, and you’re careful not to rip the envelope while you open it.

you begin to read the letter, a pink hue spreading across your cheeks as you process the words. your heart flutters in your chest, knowing that someone thinks about you in this way.

you don’t think your smile is all that special, but this person definitely thinks otherwise. you quickly put away the envelope, reminding yourself to dry press the tulip later.

all of a sudden, you’re smacked out of your thoughts. you run towards the hall. you’re definitely going to be late.

you arrive at chans with the ingredients, waiting for changbin to get back. you’re cooking his favorite today, so you’re very excited to see his reaction.

the tulip that your admirer gave you is pressed in between a stack of books, you plan on air drying and preserving it later.

“who gave the flower?”, he asks with a smirk.

“oh… no one”, you reply shyly.

he continues to wiggle his eyebrows at you, causing you to shove him playfully.

you and chan continue talking about some studies, when you hear changbin come in.

“chan?”

he stands in the doorway for a second, inhaling for a little while. he rushes to the kitchen when he smells it. “what is all this?”

“we decided to make your favorite tonight, help yourself. we’ll bring the danmuji out in a second”, you tell him.

he smiles so wide it almost reaches his eyes. “ooohhhh thank you thank you thank you! you did all this for meeeee?”, he says excitedly.

“it was all chans idea, thank him”, you chuckle.

changbin jerks his head towards chan, a cute pout on his face. “you did this for me channieee?”

chan stares at him for a little while before rolling his eyes. “no. why would i do it for you? shut up and eat now.”

you both knew it was all an act. as much as chan tried to pretend he hated changbin, you knew that it was just brotherly love.

“thanks chan”, he says with a smile.

chan can’t help but smile back.

you open your locker the next week to a black tulip, your heart sinking to your stomach.

you pick up the note, reading it quickly before you go to class.

“don’t worry, nothings wrong. i just gave you a black tulip this time since i always see you wearing black clothes. i assumed it’s your favorite color.”, it read.

the note went on with the usual, except this time it was about your nose. you giggled to yourself, the words lingering in your mind for far too long. your heart flutters in your chest thinking about who could possibly be writing these.

you run to class, afraid you’ll be late. you lost track of time reading the note, but you don’t regret it. not one bit.

you hope he’ll reveal himself soon.

“mmhhh noo…”, you whine.

chan giggles a little, pulling you closer into his embrace for a second. “i really need to go to the bathroom y/n…”

“you’re warm though…”

chan takes your hand in yours, “i’ll only be a minute. besides, you have the blanket.”

you nod, watching him go and sitting in the spot on the couch where he previously sat. the seat was warm still, almost enough to pull you into a slumber.

chan quickly locks himself in the bathroom, his heart beating almost a thousand times a second. why did he do that? why did he hold your hand… oh gosh. his entire face is red, he tries to wash it away. it doesn’t work.

maybe it’s his fault for sitting so close to you in the first place, but he can’t deny that he enjoyed it. he wants to be in your embrace forever.

“gosh… this is beautiful.”, you whisper to yourself. the note contained a little poem about your eyes this time. you didn’t think they had much effect on anyone.

you pick up the red tulip, admiring it for a moment before placing it back in your locker inbetween some tissues and a stack of books. you enjoyed pressing them.

that way, if you were to ever find your secret admirer, you could keep the memories of your feelings.

wait… feelings? do you like this guy? you don’t even know what he looks like! maybe they’re just… shy?

you never thought for once that a man would be too shy to see someone like you of all people. you’re not really all that special in your opinion, but surely there was more to you that this guy sees.

maybe you could go searching for him…

“you really like pressing those damn tulips.”

you chuckle nervously, “yeah… they’re really pretty”

chan is surprised you haven’t told him anything yet, but he makes sure not to push you. he doesn’t want to let anything slip.

chan sits back down on your bed, admiring you for a bit while you talk about some things that happen at school.

“and she’s been- she… why are you looking at me like that?”, you ask. the look on his face has you tripping on your words, oddly flustered.

“huh? o-oh… um.”, he stutters, afraid he’s made things awkward. he tries to think of an excuse quickly, “you still have a little sauce on your cheek.”

embarrassed, you wipe a bit at your cheek, trying to wipe the sauce that wasn’t even there in the first place. suddenly, chan speaks up. “i’ll get it.”

he scoots incredibly close to you, stroking your cheek and “wiping away the sauce”. your eyes widen, cheeks turning a bright red.

chan seems to notice, smirking at you again and wiggling his eyebrows. you scoff playfully, flicking his forehead causing him to recoil.

“heyyy! what was that for”, he says with a fake pout. you can only giggle at his antics, running a thumb over his forehead to ease the pain.

you continued going on about the girl in your class, ignoring the way chans close proximity made you feel.

“what the hell?”

the note came with a baby blue tulip this time, writing about how your voice makes his day. ‘so he knows me…’, you think to yourself.

maybe you two share a class or two. either way, you’re determined to find out. this time, you write a note in your locker for him to read the next week.

it’s a simple note, not as cute as his are. the only thing it asks is if you two share a class.

you hope he notices it next time, it’d be a shame if he didn’t. you place the note in your locker and quickly run back to class.

now that you think of it, he must have a class in the same hall as you since he always gets to your locker in the morning. maybe he’s in your first class.

wait. why are you so eager to know? gosh, how are you falling for someone when you don’t even know who they are?

“oh come onnn, please?”

“jeez, why do you wanna know so bad?”

“becauseee… you seem so happy when you get these flowers. do you finally have a boyfriend?”

you shoot him a look, shutting him up immediately. “what do you mean, “finally”? i’ve had many boyfriends before”, you say while shaking your head.

chan laughs beside you, causing you to laugh a little bit too. “well, the truth is, i don’t know who these flowers are coming from. someone puts them in my locker every monday with a love letter…”

chan looks at you, wide eyed. he fakes his surprise, “wait… you have a secret admirer?!”, he giggles.

“yeah… i guess i do”, you smile.

you turn your head to look at him again, his boba eyes staring right at yours. you can’t help but think back to what the note about your eyes said. does chan see them the same way? do you… want him to see them the same way?

chan pulls you into an embrace when he sees the look in your eye. “well, hopefully he reveals himself soon”

your face is painted with a light blush again. how could you possibly be falling for two men at once?

why do feelings have to be so confusing…?

the weeks go by, different tulips and notes arriving in your locker every week. you’ve confirmed that you’re both in first period together, but that seems like the only clue you’re getting for a while.

each day, you press the flowers and place them in your special frame next to the decorative box, in which you place the letters.

your frame is just a blob of colors now, the ivory, purple, and crimson tulips popping out the most.

you’ve been meeting with chan a lot more recently for movie nights. you’ll have to admit, they’re really fun, but you’re finding it difficult to evaluate your feelings.

you’ve started to develop stronger feelings for chan, as well as your admirer. your heart is torn between the two. you don’t know who to choose. you dont even know if you can begin to choose.

how could you break their hearts?

you wake up early in the morning, surprised because you normally can’t seem to bring yourself to open your eyes. you nuzzle closer into the warm pillow, wondering why it feels so much better than usual.

“sleep well?”, chans voice revertibrates through your entire being. you pull your hands back, scooting away from him and looking up.

“wait… i- what the hell?”

“hey it’s not my fault! you were incredibly drunk, and you insisted i stay.”

“oh…”

“oh channie… please stay! i can’t sleep without you… you’re so warm”, he mocks you and laughs.

your eyes go wide, a hand clamped over your mouth in shock.

“i actually said that…?”, you hide your face in your hands.

“no biggie”, he smiles.

you bury your face in your palms, embarrassed. you’re glad you didn’t let anything else slip out though. chan pulls you back into his embrace, drawing patterns on your back and laughing a little.

“hey, seriously. it’s fine, i don’t mind keeping you company you know. your channie will always be here”, he giggles.

“shut. up.”, you reply, your voice muffled in his chest.

you hear the door open, quickly jerking your head towards it. “you lovebirds done? i brought breakfast”, yeji smiles.

“yejiii” you whine, hiding your face again. chan gets out of bed, laughing again as he gets ready for the day.

“fuck…”, you mutter under your breath. it’ll be much easier to confess to chan right? you can confront him face to face, but with your admirer it’d be more difficult.

what if they’re just joking around? if you confess, the tulips will stop. you’ll have no more notes to keep in your box. but then again, if you do confess, there’s a high chance of the both of you ending up together.

there’s no way chan likes you, but you really need to get it off your chest. you can’t pursue your admirer while still having feelings for chan, that’s not fair to him.

if chan is so excited about this admirer, there’s no way he could actually like you… right? fuck it.

you run over to chans dorm, changbin opens the door for you. “y/n? chans not home right now, sorry.”

“yeah i know… i was um- i was meaning to talk to you actually.”

“oh! come in”, he says with a smile.

you explain the whole thing in depth to changbin, even your feelings for the two boys. changbin laughs to himself, ‘what has he gotten himself into?’, he thinks.

changbin doesn’t even seem to notice that tears are leaving your eyes. he quickly grabs your hand, running his thumb over it. “hey, i’m sure nothing bad will happen if you confess to chan. he loves you too much to let you go just because of a crush.”

“no but that’s the thing changbin! it’s not just a crush- i love him. i love the both of them. and i don’t know who to choose, or how to tell them, because it’s not fair to date one without telling the other and…”, you trail off.

“just tell chan you love him. and if you really want to win him over, tell him while you’re cooking or baking together or something.”

“what? why?”

“just do it, trust me.”

you nod, continuing to plan out your confession with changbin. you figure out how you’re going to confess, you hope chan will enjoy having his favorite dish.

“i should tell yeji about this too, she’ll probably have some advice.”

changbin goes silent, thinking about what else you could do. you notice the way his face goes red at the mention of your roommate.

hopefully he’ll confess too.

“i brought everything… what’s the occasion though?”

“you’ll see”, you say with a smile.

you both make your way to the kitchen, smiling along the way. of course your nervous, but it’s a lot easier when you have his reassuring smile.

it seems to be something that always puts you at ease, it’s one of the reasons you love him so much. you feel so safe with him.

you guys work on dinner, smiling and giggling the entire time. “that damn coral tulip really put you in a good mood hm?”

you chuckle a little, “hm, yeah”, you beam at him. hold on… did you tell him about the coral tulip? “wait… how do you know about the tulip”

“huh?”, chan seems to be confused, but then his eyes go wide. he realizes his mistake immediately, but he doesn’t know what to do.

“chan… i never told you anything about the tulip. how did you know what color it was?”

he opens his mouth to say something, but it won’t come out. “i…”, the lump in his throat rises more, cutting off his air flow. he’s seconds away from hyperventilating.

“channie, was it you the entire time?”

tears well up in his eyes, he didn’t want it to happen like this. he planned a whole reveal for you, and now it was all ruined.

you quickly turn off the stove, walking over to chan. you’re being careful not to scare him away, a smile on your face. “it’s you isn’t it?”

he nods softly, some tears escaping his eyes. “i’m sorry…”

you cup his cheek with your hand, wiping away the tears on his cheek. “can i…?”

he nods, and you crash your lips into his. “i love you channie”, you say breathlessly. he grabs your waist, picking you up and setting you down on the island. he pulls away from the kiss and looks you in the eyes.

“i love you so much y/n. i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you i was just… scared of ruining our friendship.”

“chan… i um. i didn’t- i don’t want you to think i kissed you just because of the letters. i was planning on confessing to you today but that just made it so much better”

chans eyes twinkled in the light, stunned by the sincerity in your voice. “y/n… i truly do love you a lot. i- thank you.”

you give him a quick peck on the nose, wiping away his tears again.

“so, you were making all this so you could um… confess?”

you nod shyly, averting his gaze. he giggles at how adorable you look right now, sitting on the kitchen island.

“what’s so funny chan?”

he picks you up once again, this time pinning you against the wall. your heart flutters again in your chest, the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“no. not chan… i’m your channie”, he smiles at you, leaning in for another kiss. you enjoy the moment with him, but all of a sudden you stop.

“chan! we still have to make the food”

he looks at you, sets you down on the floor and then turns away from you. you’re a little confused by the sudden change in attitude, but then it hits you.

“sorry dork, i meant channie”

he smiles at you again, helping you fix dinner.

“wow… first dinner with my girlfriend and we even cooked it together.”, your eyes widened. you were going to have to get used to chan calling you his girlfriend.

“wake the fuck up you two!”, yeji yells from her room.

you’re in the same position as last time, you face nuzzled into chans chest and your arms are wrapped around him. he’s holding you this time, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and stroking his fingers through your hair.

suddenly, yeji barges in to see you two practically looking like a pretzel. “oh my gosh…”

chan continues running his fingers through your hair, not paying attention to yeji at all. “wait… really?!”, yeji says excitedly.

it seems like shes finally gotten the hint, and you reach up to give chan a little peck. you smile at yeji, watching her visibly gag. “you know, you couldn’t just said ‘oh yeah we’re dating now!’. you didn’t have to kiss him. gross…”

chan laughs a little, the sound being music to your ears. “hey, it’s not my fault”

“yeah yeah whatever. get ready, we’re going out with changbin.”

you turn your head towards yeji again. “changbin? why so?”

chan lifts his head from the pillow. “are you finally dating now?”, he asks excitedly.

“ew no… gross”, yeji says while rushing out the room, not wanting you to see the crimson red covering her face.

you open your locker, instantly met with a much bigger envelope. you quickly open it to read it, smiling to yourself as you do. you’re so glad that chan did all this.

you searched your locker again, looking at the floor to see if the tulip fell, but you couldn’t find one. you pouted a little, the tulips seem to be something you cherish a lot. just then, you hear chans voice behind you.

in his hand is a bouquet, all different assortments of tulips. he doesn’t say anything, he just gives you a kiss and heads off to his next class.

you stare at him as he leaves, completely in awe. tears almost spring to your eyes, but you fight them off. quickly placing your bouquet in your locker, you run to your next class.

you make it there just on time, but before taking out your notebook, you grab your phone.

y/n: thank you channie :) channie <3: i hope you liked them :) y/n: of course i did! y/n: i love you channie <3 channie <3: i loved you first <3

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