#like i feel like that's so rare for the main female character and the closest thing rwby's got to a main male character

[karniss-bg3]

What's in a name?

For the past week I’ve had one mission; Find the meaning behind Kar’niss’ name.

To me, that is one piece of information that could lend the biggest clue to his origins. I’ve had luck in some places and roadblocks in others, it’s turned out to be slightly more complicated than I thought. I haven’t come up entirely empty handed though and what pieces I’ve dug up have put him in an entirely new light.

Let’s start off by discussing drow naming conventions. Drow can change their names later in life and may do so multiple times. This is usually due to some significant life event or promotion and said name may relate to these incidents. This makes me believe that Kar’niss got his name after his transformation. After all, being turned into a drider would be considered a big life event by many. They also avoid using any names that may be similar to Lolth, some going as far as to avoid the letter L altogether. Mind you during my research I found conflicting reports. Some sources say it’s fine to pay homage to Lolth in a drow name so long as it’s only partial, such as “loth” or “lothine”. Others say it’s forbidden the whole way around and bad form. Take this as you will.

Drow names are also gendered, their prefixes and suffixes are labeled specifically toward male and female. Rarely, women could take on a male name with little push back. However, if a male takes on a feminine name they would be labeled a rogue or a troublemaker. This information is important later.

There are many more nuances to how drow are named, such as numbering their children in the drow language, or naming children in honor of their mothers and ignoring fathers completely. Looking over what resources I could find, Kar’niss’ name didn’t seem to be related to either of those things. With the exception of the suffix “Niss” which we’ll get to.

I’ve managed to find a chart that has all of the common drow prefixes and suffixes listed. Let’s take Minthara and Nere as two examples. The prefix “Min” is feminine and it means “lesser, minor, second” and the suffix “thara” is also feminine with the meaning “glyph, marker, rune”. This could translate to lesser rune, second glyph, and so forth. Min could also suggest her birth order as second however the birth orders are usually a suffix and not a prefix, at least from what I could find.

Nere is a bit trickier. The only thing I could find on the list was “Neer” and it appears to be a gender neutral name, as it doesn’t have two options listed. Neer means “core, root, strong” and it seems to align with his personal viewpoints. Nere fans may have discovered his full name or something a bit more meaty but as of now that is the closest I could find.

Now we come to the main event, Kar’niss. The one piece of solid evidence I found was the meaning for the suffix “Niss”. It’s the feminine equivalent to “Nozz” and it means “chance, gambler, game”. I suppose “Kar’nozz” doesn’t roll off the tongue as fluidly as Kar’niss. So we have one piece of the puzzle, what about the prefix “Kar”?

That, dear reader, is where my biggest roadblock came into play. Nothing on any resource I’ve found lists Kar anywhere. Not in prefixes, suffixes, house names or Dark Seladrine Gods. A big, fat goose egg. It’s easy to think of Karsus when hearing that prefix, the most powerful wizard that ever lived. Maybe there is a link but honestly I feel like I’d be reaching really hard to make that connection. Kar’niss doesn’t really show signs of being interested in wizardry and if he was before his transformation, he says shit all about it now.

I was ready to give up. I don’t think Larian is the sort to do something without purpose. Even though Kar’niss is a side character, the work put into him leads me to believe that name has some significance. So in my stubborn way I kept looking, until a thought dawned on me. All this time I’ve been digging through drow specific information while ignoring the drider in the room. What about...elvish? Yes the two languages are very similar but drow have different dialect than surface elves. Kar’niss is very pale in complexion and we’ve theorized he could be a Szarkai. It would make sense for him to take on an elvish prefix especially if he was trying to fit into surface societies. There could be a small chance he’s half-drow but the game lists him as drow in his character window so I think that theory isn’t viable.

Down a new rabbit hole I went and I found some interesting information. The first piece I found came from Tolkien's elvish dictionary. Kar means “do, make, build” in elvish. Couple that with gambler, chance and game you could translate the full name to “Make your own luck” or even “Take a chance” depending on how you approached it. Other options are “Playing a bad/dangerous game”, “Making a bad decision/bet” or something more in the realms of a negative connotation.

The second piece I found came from forgotten realms. There are several words that have the word Kar listed in them. These three are the most notable:

Hakar: Enemy

Sekkar: Flee

Karask: Demon

Only one out of the three starts with Kar and it seems fitting for what Kar’niss became; A demon. Sekkar also aligns with the notion he was a Szarkai, as they preferred to flee from battle rather than engage. Enemy seems self explanatory, he could feel like he is the enemy of Lolth or the Underdark as a whole.

Out of them all the Tolkien option seems to suit the best. The others are part of a bigger word and while threads can be stretched between them, there is no way to say that they’d hold. So where does that leave us? Naturally with more questions than answers, but this does suggest a few intriguing directions Kar’niss could’ve come from.

It is apparent that Kar’niss is very subservient and afraid, but that doesn’t mean he always was. Taking on the feminine suffix “niss” could suggest he was a troublemaker or a bit of a jet setter while in the Underdark. Maybe he broke rules, said things he shouldn’t have, pushed boundaries. If he was a Szarkai he could’ve been sheltered from some of the more harsh treatment other males were known to endure. This could’ve made him arrogant, egotistical and brazen. He may have over stepped, made a bad gamble as it were, and it cost him everything. The feminine suffix of “niss” could also be a way to emasculate him further. Drider are sexless and Kar’niss’ lower regions no longer exist, something that might have bruised his pride terribly.

Alternatively, his suffix could’ve been given to him by others to suggest his luck at being born a Szarkai although that is more of a stretch. Kar could also align with how spiders make and build webs thus the distinction between the two. Or maybe he took on an elvish lover or friend and gave himself an elvish prefix in honor of them, or they gave him the name, even if such a relationship cost him in the end.

There are so many wild variations and theorycrafting you could do with those pieces of information. While most of it is loose the one thing I can say for sure is that the suffix “Niss” has great importance. I think he made a bad bet or played a dangerous game and lost, and becoming a drider is his punishment. Maybe he took on the trials of Lolth, something a few might consider a game, and lost there as well. Perhaps if I keep digging I can find something more solid to link him with the prefix “Kar” but as of right now this is what I could find.

So ends my journey for answers, for now at least. I hope this wall of text provided folks with some interesting information and ideas. Thanks for reading!

Sources: Tolkien's Elvish, Drow, Prefix/Suffix list for drow, Elven Lexicon, Drow naming practices.

#baldur's gate 3 #kar'niss #drider #bg3 #karniss #baldurs gate 3 #drow #Lolth #drow naming conventions #kar'niss name meaning #minthara #nere #True Soul Nere #theorycrafting #my writing

[etrosgate]

god i love chika amatori.

it's really interesting for her to at first appear like a typical Demure Shonen Girl, but even within that personality archetype she proves to be a real stand out character through being consistently interesting and important to the narrative with her own mysteries and social circle, in a way this genre's heroines' rarely ever get

such as: the story explicitly stating that the main driving force of the narrative so far (235 chapters and counting!) is in pursuit of HER ambitions, even going so far as to say that the male protags are just there to help out, their own objectives as things to do along the way

AND THEN

like 180 chapters in we have this big revelation that, instead of her combat ability being held back by her being "too soft-hearted" to shoot with real bullets, she's actually being selfish! putting on a facade of weakness because she doesn't want people to hate/fear her for being too strong... playing this balancing act of being strong enough to not be a liability, but weak enough to not be threatening...

and to me that Really resonates with like, just the experience of being a woman in general, and also more metatexually of being a female character (especially in a shonen action series)

like. female characters are despised for being too weak and despised for being too strong, and the line between them is crazy thin and arbitrary. so it's really cool to see that stigma used to subvert your expectations and make world trigger's heroine even more interesting than she already was!!

it is SOOOO satisfying to go back and reread the series with this knowledge completely re-contextualizing your view of her character, and done in a way that never feels like that first read was worthless or that her character was made weaker for the sake of a twist.

not to mention the way this aspect is reinforced by hatohara, a character who ACTUALLY couldn't shoot real bullets because she couldn't handle it, being literally one of the most intriguing characters and skilled combatants in the series. do you realize how insane it is that she only missed a shot ONCE? and she also gets mistakenly viewed as weak-willed by some of the people who were closest to her (ninomiya and ema), something that is tangibly countered.

it's just all so, so good i love her so much

#world trigger #my post #chika amatori #i hope i made it clear that i think her ''selfishness'' is not an inherently bad thing lol #i love that everyone immediately tells her that those emotions are perfectly natural #that selfish and selfless can coexist and its important to care about yourself #anyways #yayyyy watori i love you

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Omegaverse AU Headcanons

Soooo… A/B/O. Alpha/Beta/Omega, also known as the Omegaverse. Let’s see what happens when I mix it with Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, shall we?

This is going to be a pretty off the wall ramble, since, well, Omegaverse doesn’t have any set rules besides Alphas are strong, territorial, and are thirsty as hell because of the pheromones Omegas give off when they go into heat and are ready to make babies. I’ve found during my idle browsing of various pages on the subject that each storyteller tackles the rules differently, sometimes wildly so.

So I’m just gonna do whatever I want. Sounds good?

I’ll take your inability to respond as a resounding yes.

Content warnings: this post is going to be full of talk about sex, from sexy times to sex organs, and maybe even some smutty snippets if I feel inspired. I mean, Omegaverse is rooted in sex, so it’s a given. There might be mention of the darker sides of sex like SA and sexual harassment, but I’m going to be mostly sticking with shamelessly indulging in my OTP as much as possible. That means I’m going to be using my OC Alice in the main character’s role, but feel free to play around with any of my headcanons for your MCs if you feel like dabbling in this silly crossover of smutty subjects too.

First off, Alice (/MC) is an Omega in this AU, and all the love interests are Alphas. It’s fitting for a protagonist of an erotic romance game with a bunch of suitors, don’t you think?

Yes, even Ian is an Alpha. I’m playing with the tropes a bit, and I think it would be fun to play with the idea of Ian being intimidated by the pressures of being an Alpha. Not to mention I can see his mother coming down even harder in this universe due to his Alpha urges.

The Worldbuilding

It might be good to go into how I’m going to define the basic rules of my dip into this Omegaverse. In this world, genders are sorted first into Alpha, Beta, and Omega. After that they’re divided further into male, female, or any other flavor of non-binary. There’s a hell of a lot more gender variety in this world, and a lot of folks who have both sets of sexy bits to play with.

There’s also a supernatural aspect to these genders that give Alphas and Omegas extra abilities that Betas don’t typically have. Betas are the closest to normal humans and tend to have the same amount of male/female/intersex variety. They’re the largest percentage of the population, and are susceptible to the influence of Alphas. Still, they, like all people in this world, are much more in tune with their instincts than people are here.

Alphas are all capable of insemination, and as such regardless if they have a clit, a dick, or whatever else, they produce sperm. Those who also have a uterus as well tend to be regarded as female or intersex Alphas.

What separates Alphas from Betas are their supernatural abilities. Alphas tend to be bigger and stronger, with sharper senses. They have a commanding presence to them that mildly affects others. It’s not mind control, but it can influence the instincts of Betas to make them feel inclined to submit to their will proportionally to how strong the Alpha’s will is. Because of this, Alphas often are the ones who take commanding roles and other positions of power. They also often clash with other Alphas often because of this instinct to take charge of others.

Alphas often have some slight animal features as well. Sometimes they’re born with harder nails like claws, or fangs. Sometimes they have extra features to their dicks like you’d find in a Bad Dragon toy. Knots and wolfish instincts are the most common features an Alpha can have, but more rarely you get other animal features, like a cat’s ability to purr and have smaller bumps/ridges on their penises that similarly are meant to keep a cock locked in place after cumming. These animal influences can result in very interesting variety in the bedroom for those who want to sample what various Alphas have to offer.

Yes, I was thinking of Shaun when I came up with these alternative animal traits. I just couldn’t picture him acting wolf-like or having a knot like the other guys. I mean, maybe he could pull off the catdog look, but I think it’s more interesting if his features are more on the feline side.

Alphas are more sensitive to the pheromones of others due to their enhanced sense of smell. They also tend to have a much higher libido than Betas, so it’s not uncommon for them to be very sexually promiscuous. There is a supernatural aspect to the pheromones as well that allow Alphas to “mark” others with a unique energy signature that makes it easier to find them and let other Alphas know that someone with that mark is under their protection. These marks can only be made with consent of both parties involved, and are usually temporary depending on the relationship the Alpha has with the person marked.

Mate marks are made when an Alpha wants to mate for life with one person in particular. They’re a very serious commitment that can’t be undone, and it can’t be done if either party is even the slightest bit uncertain about that level of commitment to one another. As such, it’s not something that happens anywhere near as often as marriage.

By mating like this, an Alpha is sharing their life with another person, regardless of gender, and their mate is agreeing to the same. Mates are able to sense things about their mate all the time, no matter how far apart they are, with a strong sense of empathy and the ability to pick up when they’re distressed, in danger, horny, etc. This can lead to mates being clingy and instinctively seeking each other out more than usual relationships. This also has a tendency to make for a lot of sexy fun times between mates.

Those who have gotten these mate marks are called a “fated pair.” Since it’s so difficult to commit so completely to another person and allow them so much access to yourself, these marks are rare enough that the pair are thought of as soulmates. There are even stories of fated pairs who were reborn and found each other again in their next lives. Mate marks are all unique to that fated pair and can be fairly complicated, sometimes even very colorful. This is a magical world after all.

A fated pair are fully committed to one another. The idea of leaving their mate for someone else becomes unthinkable. In a way they’ve become one and feel incomplete without the other. Their strengths and pain are shared. They are no longer able to feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone else but their mate, but they make each other stronger by being bound together. The natural abilities of Alphas and Omegas increase with the mate mark, making them more powerful, and Betas awaken their own supernatural power - the power to dampen or even neutralize the abilities of other Alphas and Omegas.

An Alpha can have their fated pair be an Omega, Beta, or even another Alpha. Not every Alpha has a fated pair, and polyamory is more common and more accepted in this universe. With so much gender diversity, pansexuality is far more common than heterosexuality in this world. The topic of sex is also less taboo to discuss due to the phenomenon of “heat” and “rut.”

Heat and rut are when a person experiences an increased desire for sex and their instinct to reproduce is heightened. The only difference is whether the person’s desire is to impregnate someone (rut) or be impregnated (heat). This is a side-effect of the supernatural powers of the people of this world, and as such affect Alphas far more strongly than anyone else, but Betas sometimes experience a milder version. It doesn’t seem to be tied to a particular season, but more to the individual. Sometimes a heat/rut can be set off by an Alpha getting too excited while using their powers for a prolonged period of time.

Of course, we can’t talk about heat without going into Omegas. Omegas are the rarest type. If Betas make 90% of the population, Alphas take up 9%, and Omegas only 1%. All Omegas have a uterus and are capable of being impregnated and carrying young. Omegas are empaths, very perceptive to the emotions of others, with the supernatural ability to heal, and are often thought of as nurturing figures.

Omegas also are the only ones that can instinctively make Alphas submit due to their pheromones. When in heat, they can send anyone receptive nearby into rut. Their smell is appealing even to Betas and they have a natural allure to them, though Betas can’t go into heat/rut.

Now, in a lot of Omegaverses, this is where the dubious/non-consent comes in hard. While I can understand the appeal of a character going into heat, desperate for sex, attracting everyone and making them desperate to have sex with them… Consent is king in this house, baby, and that includes my version of Omegaverse.

Heat and rut don’t strip an Alpha/Omega of their ability to consent or affect their judgment. It can be intense like starving for a good meal, but it never goes to the point that they’re willing to choke down rotten food. There’s a limit to the horniness, and consent is taken very seriously.

While an Omega has the power to set off rut in others and be alluring, it only affects those that are receptive to the Omega sexually. Asexuals in this world simply aren’t affected by these supernatural pheromones, or at least not as strongly depending on where they are in the asexual spectrum. Demi-sexuals still need that strong emotional connection before being affected, for example.

An Alpha that is receptive to an Omega and thus affected by their heat has an instinct to submit to the wants of the Omega. If the Alpha wants the Omega and the Omega doesn’t want the Alpha, they won’t be able to bring themselves to do anything except pine for the Omega due to their strong instincts. If an Omega wants an Alpha, but the Alpha doesn’t want the Omega, then the Alpha doesn’t get affected by the Omega at all.

That’s right, I’m leaning in hard on the supernatural angle to ensure that all parties are consenting even when affected by magical horny vibes. While this doesn’t eliminate SA altogether from this world, as scumbags are going to prey on others regardless of their wants, this supernatural horny magic isn’t going to sign off on non-consent in this version of the Omegaverse.

Betas for the most part are immune to these heat/rut pheromone shenanigans and pretty much can just potentially find Alphas, Omegas, or other Betas attractive in a more conventional way. They are also capable of reproduction provided the individual doesn’t have health issues that get in the way of that.

If Alphas have the ability to make Betas instinctively inclined to follow their lead, Omegas have the ability to make Alphas instinctively want to protect them. Even the most feral Alpha has a hard time overcoming their instinct of not wanting to see an Omega harmed.

Going feral is something that only happens to Alphas. Typically this is tied to intense emotions, usually aggression in combat, protectiveness, possessiveness, or even horniness. They might even have more animal/monstrous features as their supernatural nature spikes. Reasoning with an Alpha that’s gone feral is best left to Omegas, a beat down from other Alphas, or heavy dosing of sedatives.

While Alphas are apparent from birth, Omegas are usually only discovered after they have their first heat, or a traumatic event awakens their ability to heal. Since the person’s desires are what cause heat/rut, these states only happen when the person wants to reproduce and in what way they’re capable/wanting to do so. Someone who doesn’t want to produce children won’t experience heat or rut, even if they might experience elevated levels of hormones at times.

What’s the difference between heat/rut and being horny? The desire to make babies. Bo, for example, would be going into rut all the time with how much he wants to make his puppy have his pups. Alphas and Omegas have the potential to be exceedingly horny and affect others through their pheromones without going into rut/heat.

Though rare, Omegas are also capable of siring children and going into rut if they have the right equipment for the job. Likewise, Alphas can birth children if they have a uterus and can go into heat if they want to do so. An individual’s will strongly affects this supernatural state of horniness and their desire to reproduce.

Alpha Joseph Cullman

Now, with the foundation of the Omegaverse we’re working with out of the way, let’s get to the characters we know and love. Many of the broad strokes of the SWWSDJ timeline are the same in this AU, but changing the finer details can craft a very different picture.

Joseph Cullman was born an Alpha, but he struggled with the role. Sure, he could more easily intimidate others, make them submit, but ruling by fear does not earn you love. He was clumsy with his connections with others, showing off his strength and trying to get attention in a desperate bid to be loved.

It’s just fortunate that this troubled Alpha found his fated pair when he was young.

Yes, this AU is mixed with my reincarnation AU, which I talked about in previous posts here and here. Come on, fated pairs? It was practically begging for a reincarnated soulmate storyline!

Mary thought she was a Beta until the trauma of being told that she was going to die before reaching adulthood awakened her healing powers and allowed her to heal her chronic illness, revealing her to be an Omega.

Omegas, being so rare with the power to heal, are exceedingly coveted. Mary’s parents, being narcissists who saw their children as extensions of themselves, were keen to exploit this power for fame, fortune, and acclaim. This made them tighten their grip on Mary, and when they found out an Alpha was sneaking into her bedroom… ho boy they put a stop to that.

Joseph, having Alpha instincts to protect the only person who cared about him, especially since Mary’s Omega nature was affecting them all the more, fought even harder to keep her. This led to an altercation between him and her parents. Instead of something bad happening at Haberdae High, it was his escalating conflict with her parents that led to things breaking down for him.

The fateful incident where everything went wrong involved Joseph losing control of his rage, resulting in him going feral, with Mary being kept from him so he couldn’t calm down until it was too late. This led to a very violent incident that resulted in police involvement. The Phoenix family pressed charges despite Mary’s protests and Joseph, being a minor, was sentenced to juvenile hall.

Joseph wasn’t left unscathed mentally from going feral. He remembered vividly what he did and was horrified by his extreme acts of bloody violence and loss of control. It left him seeing himself in a much more negative light.

It made him feel like a monster.

Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse for Joseph. While he was locked up, the Phoenix family moved away. Whatever reputation he had left in that small town was destroyed, and everyone avoided him. Even his parents grew more distant from him, ashamed and afraid of the monster their Alpha son had become. Teachers and other authority figures scrutinized every move he made, ready to come down at him for any perceived slight, and Haberdae High felt almost as much of a prison as juvenile hall did.

Of course, Joseph ran away when he couldn’t handle it anymore. He also couldn’t let Mary go in spite of everything. He tried living on his own for a while, but loneliness ate away at him more than the hunger he felt while living on the street without a home.

Life for Mary wasn’t sunshine and roses either. Her parents exploited her new healing abilities to line their pockets, having her heal rich investors even when overuse of her powers was damaging to her health. It was almost ironic - her parents used to be so concerned about her health, but now it was like it no longer mattered to them, not when she was finally useful to them. Besides, she would eventually heal herself, so what did it matter that she suffered for a while? She needed to grow up and help out the family, in their opinion, especially after all the trouble she put them through with Joseph.

Ever since Mary’s powers truly awakened, she was increasingly aware of the fact that her parents didn’t truly love her. Being able to detect other peoples’ emotions can let you know when people are faking theirs. Their affectionate displays had strings attached, and their emotional abuse just highlighted the lack of care she could feel so painfully clear with her powers of empathy.

Fortunately, since Joseph is an Alpha, he left a mark on Mary, which allowed him to eventually track her down. It was a shock when she heard a familiar rapping at her window in a place states away from her old home, and then saw a familiar face that she had been aching to see for so long.

Though Mary was aware of the violence Joseph committed while going feral, even being the one who had to heal the damage he left behind with her powers, she still loved him, and she could keenly feel his love for her in a way she didn’t feel from her parents.

Joseph didn’t feel worthy of being with Mary, feeling himself unclean, monstrous, but when he found her, he couldn’t leave her again. He just couldn’t live without his sunshine. He gave in to his weakness once again and asked her to run away with him. They could leave their toxic families behind and just be together. All the adults in their life failed them, and their bond was too strong to want to be separated, even if it meant that they would be struggling on the streets.

Despite the guilt Mary felt for abandoning her family, she agreed to run away with Joseph. However, while Joseph ran away without a plan and only the clothes on his back, Mary didn’t want to be quite so reckless if she could help it. In the middle of the night, she stole money and her parents’ car keys so they could get some distance before selling the car so that the police wouldn’t be able to track them that way. They traveled quite a while even after that, taking on new names to make sure no one would track them down. It was easier for them to disappear in the age before the internet.

Joseph made sure to protect Mary from dangers that come from being homeless and on the run. He was a strong Alpha who was no stranger to getting into fights, and sometimes he had to do things he regretted in order to make sure they were both safe and stayed together. They had enough money to last them while they traveled and put distance between them and anyone who knew them.

Eventually, the two managed to find a place to make a new home. Joseph took the moniker of James, and Mary changed her name to Maria. (Yes, I had to get that Silent Hill 2 reference in.) When introducing themselves to other people, they claimed to already be married, even if they couldn’t be legally. Joseph James got the part of Sunny Day Jack, and things were looking up as the show took off.

It was when James finally felt like he made himself into someone truly worthy of someone as kind and loving as Mary Maria that he wanted to take things further, for them to be a fated pair. Maria had actually been the one to bring up the idea first, and they had attempted it before, but it never successfully formed. It was only when James felt less haunted by the mistakes of his past and happier with the person he had become that he was able to feel worthy enough to become one with his sunshine at last.

The pair were happy. Things weren’t easy, and they had plenty of challenges to face, but they loved each other. They promised each other forever.

Then the Incident of ‘84 happened.

A fated pair has many benefits of their mating, being stronger together and feeling each other’s pain and joys, but unfortunately the downside is that when one dies, the other is quick to follow.

Joseph, James, Sunny Day Jack, [Redacted]... the man known as all these things was sent to a hellish afterlife, deprived of the chance to reincarnate thanks to the wicked machinations of LambsWork Productions and what they did to him. Yes, I’m going with my headcanons that Jack’s fate of being trapped in the tape was by design and not an accident. I mean, I’ve had fun playing with that in other AUs, so why not here too?

Since Mary/Maria wasn’t part of the ritual, she was spared the hellish fate. She was reborn as Alice and the King family made her far happier and feel more loved than the Phoenix family ever did. Still… she felt like something was missing, a longing she could never quite explain. She was born with an unusual intricate birthmark. Some thought that it looked like a mate mark, but that couldn’t be. It was already there on her neck since the day she was born.

Besides, fated pairs are just people who bond for life and entwine their energies together. Soulmates and reincarnation are just silly superstitions made up by romantics…

Right?

A Fated Pair

Alice had a similar childhood as she did in the main universe, meeting Ian in the 1st grade and befriending him. Over time he started having romantic feelings for her, but, unfortunately, she never reciprocated them.

It didn’t feel right to Alice. She loved Ian like a brother, but the idea of romance with him felt… wrong. It almost felt like a betrayal… but of who?

Ian’s upbringing was strict. His absent father was an Alpha who paid child support and wasn’t loyal to his mother, making his mother come down harder on him, especially after learning he was an Alpha too. Even as a child, he was shamed for his desires or standing on his own. She shredded his pride to ribbons, and he could never fully use his powers as an Alpha while living under her roof.

His mother went after him for any relationship Ian had, so it was difficult for him to make friends. Alice stuck with him when others were chased away, and more than once his mother warned Alice to watch out for Ian and his predatory Alpha desires. This was made worse when Ian’s mother found out Alice was an Omega. Ian’s mother immediately branded Alice as a whore who was wired to entice all Alphas into rutting for her all the time.

Needless to say, Ian was a lot happier when he grew up and could go no contact with his mother.

Despite the accusations and harassment, Alice helped Ian break free of his mother’s grip. They eventually moved in together in college, but they weren’t in a relationship, no matter how much Ian wished otherwise. Eventually, she helped encourage him to pursue his dream to become an actor, and he left for a fancy college to help him along the way.

In California, now completely on his own, Ian learned to spread his wings. He was surprised by how many people found him appealing now, both sexually and as a romantic partner, especially as he learned how to assert himself. He started exploring his sexuality for the first time. He had wonderful experiences with multiple partners, but he longed for the security he felt with Alice and held out hope that someday, maybe, she might return his feelings.

Ian wasn’t the only one pining for Alice, even when off at college seeking out his dreams. Shaun fell for Alice when they went to college together. Without a boyfriend to scare him off, he tried to shoot his shot with her… eventually. Poor guy was flustered and fumbling over himself for quite a while, blurting out embarrassing things and accidentally self-sabotaging more than once. Unfortunately, with Alice not feeling that way towards him and his miscommunications, he never even got the chance to be turned down like Ian was before he had to go off to another college as well.

It was after her friends were gone that Alice really started feeling lonely, especially in an apartment meant for two people. She still remained connected to Ian, Shaun, and other friends through phone calls and online communication, but something was missing.

When Alice was around her friends and family every day, she could forget about the strange longing she always felt. When she was alone, it was so pronounced. She took to wandering when not at work, trying to find… something. She didn’t know what. She just… needed to find it. She had to. The world wouldn’t be right until she did.

That was what drew her to the thrift store and a certain video tape. It was compelling in a way that it was almost confusing for her. It was as if this strange old tape filled her with a longing that wouldn’t be satisfied until she took it home with her and watched it.

When Alice played the tape, she found what she was missing for so long.

Sadly, Jack forgot who he was entirely in his 40 years of hell, but a part of him recognized her right away. He didn’t even remember her name, but Alice was his sunshine, he knew it. He knew that he loved her with his whole heart instantly, and longed for her touch in a way that left him weak.

Needless to say, Alice was very confused when she woke up and saw a giant clown in her apartment. However, unlike in Sunshine in Hell, her shock wasn’t as strong. She didn’t retreat from him. There was such a sense of relief and completeness he brought her that reassured her in spite of the surreal situation. It was so strange that she was certain she had to be dreaming. There’s no way this feeling and this beautiful man who made her heart flutter like no one else could was real…

Jack greeted her, all smiles. He was her new best friend forever, and she was the reason why he was there. When he held her hand, he could’ve melted from her warmth, and she never felt so warm and safe from someone’s touch before.

It was just so absurd to Alice. She magically summoned a children’s show clown as her best friend forever? Definitely a dream. Besides, she was sure that she dreamed about this man before. His touch was so familiar, and being with him felt so right. These warm fluttery feelings felt too good and a part of her had been aching for this for so long…

Alice decided to just enjoy the dream for as long as possible.

Jack was startled when Alice suddenly kissed him, but definitely anything but displeased. He returned the kiss with a passion she didn’t expect. She had never actually kissed anyone before, so she was caught off guard when his tongue slipped so easily into her mouth. Still, it was almost the most natural thing in the world to let him in, to twine together with him so intimately and feel their heat and taste meld together. His scent was heady, delicious, familiar…

It wasn’t outright heat and rut since neither of them were thinking of making babies, but their instincts and hormones kicked in. The connection between them made them share and amplify each other’s arousal. Alice never felt this with anyone before and was almost overwhelmed, but there was this familiar security with him that kept urging her along. Jack was almost overwhelmed by all the sensations after going without for so long, but he drank them all in greedily, and her most of all.

There was no phone call to interrupt them. Instincts kicked in and clothes started coming off. The motions were so familiar to both of them, these hot kisses on equally hot skin that tasted so sweet and nostalgic. Consciously they forgot one another when death separated them, but their souls did not forget, and their bodies ached to reconnect after being apart and missing each other for so long.

It was only the discomfort of the lumpy couch that prevented them from having their first time then and there. Alice barely had the sense to direct Jack to her bedroom, and he carried her the entire way, their hearts hammering hard.

In the bedroom, it all suddenly became so much more real to Alice, and she started feeling fears, doubts. Even in this world she experienced a traumatic SA incident as a teen, and she was aware that she was alone and naked, with a half-naked giant looming over her.

Jack was so gentle though, so familiar. He slowed down when he noticed her trepidation. He confessed his love for her, how he was sure that he was waiting for her for so long… and he could feel she felt the same.

…

“You felt it too, didn’t you?” Jack said, his voice a whisper low and husky from the heat churning between them. “You’ve felt like something… someone was missing for so long… It felt like a piece of you was missing, like you could never be complete without that special someone.”

Alice swallowed hard in a futile attempt to alleviate her dry throat. She stared up into those beautiful dark eyes that ached with a longing that she felt deep down in her soul. He was right… she felt this way for so long…

“Don’t worry,” Jack said soothingly as he leaned in closer, inching them both back towards the pillows. “I’m here now. I’m right here… and now we won’t ever have to feel alone ever again.”

“Jack…,” Alice whispered, rolling his name on her tongue and it tasted so sweet, just like his kisses. She never knew kisses could taste as sweet as the ones Jack gave her. She wanted more, a part of her ached for more, more of this mysterious man who seemed too good to be true.

Jack reached out to touch her cheek, but hesitated as Alice jumped a little. “Is this okay?”

For a moment Alice hesitated, her heart pounding hard enough it echoed in her ears. Then she tentatively reached up to tug off the glove so she could feel his palm against her cheek directly. The touch of his skin was like fire, and it melted away so much of her fear, leaving her once again aching for more. She turned into his hand and lightly pressed her lips against his palm before whispering against his skin. “Yes.”

Was this a mistake? Logic would say so, but Alice had never felt anything so right before. Jack felt like a missing puzzle piece. His lips fit so perfectly slotted with hers, their bodies melded as if they were always meant to be one. She was tentative and uncertain, but she let her instincts guide her to touch him and lean into his touches and kisses that set her skin on fire.

Jack was so gentle, and he took care not to rush her. He savored every touch, every kiss, every moan. He memorized every inch of her body, wanting to etch Alice so deeply into his mind that he would never forget any part of his sunshine ever again. It felt like practically a sin to forget even a second with her, but at least his soul remembered. His hands moved with familiar purpose, finding all the sweet spots that he instinctively knew would make her arch into him and cry out his name so beautifully.

At some point Alice went from reluctant to impatient. She felt so good, and she loved the way Jack moaned when she touched him, how he could whisper such beautiful words of love and praise into her skin. She felt loved in a way that she never experienced before, yet at the same time was all too familiar… and a part of her eagerly anticipated that connection that would allow her to feel him fully, to experience all of his love.

This time it was Jack hesitating, not because he didn’t want to keep going - far from it - but a few exploring fingers between her legs made it quickly apparent that Alice wouldn’t be able to take his cock, and definitely not his knot unless he fully prepared her first. This body of hers had never experienced anything so big inside before, and he had to take extra care to stretch her out and get her ready.

Those big, thick fingers of his brought Alice to orgasm more than once, and eventually her frustration was too much. She needed Jack inside her, her body practically screaming for it. “Please,” she begged, flushed and embarrassed but her own neediness. “Please, Jack… I need you.”

Jack felt his heart squeeze at that plea and the desperate look in his sunshine’s unforgettable blue eyes. “Alice…” He removed his fingers, coated in her slick, and couldn’t help but taste her. Sweet and sticky, and the way she blushed at the sight made him feel a little greedy. “Alice… I love you so much.” A part of him was fit to burst, aching for her, but he needed just one more thing. “Can I ask you for something first?”

“What?” Alice asked between breathless pants. She spread her legs open wide for him, more than ready. She felt practically ready to do anything for him in that moment.

“Can you say it?” Jack whispered, desperation of his own creeping into his voice. “Can you tell me that you love me, just so I know for sure?”

Alice felt her pulse spike at the request, and that little voice at the back of her mind reminded her that what she was doing was crazy, but it lacked any fire and soon was lost under the fluttering warmth that filled her, that Jack gave her.

It was crazy, but so right. Her instincts were absolutely certain of that fact, and in that moment all Alice could think about was how much she needed Jack.

“I… I love you, Jack,” Alice whispered, the words coming out soft but far more easily than she ever expected. Once the words left her lips, the more right they felt. The next time she spoke her words came out more clearly, more certain. “I love you, Jack.”

Jack practically melted, those words setting him free in a way he had been denied for 40 long years. He couldn’t hold back any longer. His lips found hers again, and his hips moved with purpose. She moaned what sounded like his name against his lips, which acted as a muffler as he eased himself inside her nice and slow.

Alice was expecting Jack to be big - his cock had been so hard, hard, and heavy in her hands - but he felt even larger inside of her, filling her more than she thought possible. Vaguely she remembered her first time should be painful, but there was only a delicious stretch that bordered on pain, but was a glorious ache that left her feeling so full. She clung to her mate, digging her fingers into his back as he bottomed out inside her, and they finally became one after being incomplete for so, so long.

“Oh… oh God,” Jack shuddered. Memories flickered back of moments like these - from a clumsy but sweet first time to countless unions that came so expertly - and all the love and pleasure crashed into him. It was so much after an eternity without any sensation but a numb coldness. It took all his willpower to keep still and make sure that Alice was comfortable. He would never forgive himself if he made her feel any pain.  “Oh my God…” He had to take a moment to look into her eyes again, finally feeling truly whole again.  “Alice… You feel so amazing from just this.”

“J-Jack…” Alice panted. She fumbled for words, overcome with sensations and emotions that felt more powerful than anything else in the world. Despite his size, Jack just fit just right. Everything was so intense and overwhelming, yet nothing else in the world ever felt as right as this. She needed more. “Ple-please…”

Jack bent down to kiss her forehead, gently smoothing out the slight ridges there. “I’m going to move now.” He showed her a smile as dazzling as the sun. “I’m going to fill you with my love.”

Alice let out a shuddering cry as she felt Jack start to move his hips. He drew back so far that a part of her felt an irrational panic that he was going to pull out, but those fears were quickly alleviated as he brought their hips together again.

It was a slow and steady rhythm to start. Jack was determined to make sure that Alice never experienced even a second of pain, and the noises she made let him know just how good a job he was doing. He could feel the pleasure he brought her echo through his body, and his body’s pleasure resonated into hers the same way. They were one, moving together with practiced ease that came so naturally to the fated pair.

It was Alice who urged Jack to go faster by digging her heels into his backside, her legs wrapped around his hips. She couldn’t control the tempo from this position, but she could cling to him tight and make her needs known. “Mmm… more please! Jack please!”

“As you wish, sunshine,” Jack cooed before capturing that begging mouth of hers in another hot kiss. “I’ll give it all to you, all of my love.” He relished the cry she let out as he started to go faster, harder, and the pleasure made his head spin. His eyes rolled upwards, and for a moment he was sure he had gone to heaven as these powerful feelings of love washed over him. “Oh Alice!”

His praise and words of love were addicting, and Alice couldn’t get enough. She could feel his love surrounding her, inside her. The way Jack kept cooing and encouraging her drove her crazy, and words of love spilled from her lips in return, broken up by ragged breaths and cries of pleasure as he drove himself into her harder, faster.

Alice barely registered when their position changed, her legs bent back in his firm grip, but she felt just how much deeper he could thrust himself inside her, making her see stars.

The world disappeared, and nothing mattered but this desperate hunger they had for each other that bordered on animalistic. Their instincts howled for one another and the love they shared. Their bodies collided and meshed together, hot and sweaty. The air was thick and heavy with heat and the perfume of pheromones that left them both lightheaded and aching with need.

Jack managed to keep his senses enough to keep whispering words of love and praise for his irreplaceable mate, but Alice could barely do more than call out his name between animal cries of pleasure.

The pleasure continued to build, and before they reached that glorious crest, Jack bent down, his mouth seeking out her neck. His fangs grazed across that familiar mark he created a lifetime ago then sank in, renewing their sacred vow that they would love each other forever.

The world went completely white and Alice could only scream his name as she clung to Jack, her body convulsing around him with pleasure she didn’t think possible. She didn’t even notice when she was able to take his knot, but she could feel it pulsing inside her along with the rest of his cock as he came. He flooded her insides with warmth, and she relished in the heat pooling in her belly.

As the tide of pleasure slowly started to recede, Jack drew away from her neck and licked his lips. His sunshine’s blood was just as sweet as he remembered, and the mark glowed with a gentle, familiar light, just like the day he first made it. Alice moved in closer as he drew back, her instincts crying out for him, and he moaned as she sunk her teeth into the mark she left on him so long ago, a mate mark identical to hers.

The marking ritual wasn’t necessary to repeat, but it was like a renewal of their vows, of the promise that nothing, not even death, would keep them apart. Now, as the pair slid into a gentle afterglow, they brought their red stained lips together in a kiss that sealed them together forever.

…

After the Afterglow

Of course, eventually Alice is going to be aware that what she just did with Jack is very serious. There’s going to be fears and uncertainty even if a part of her is feeling so content with him. When it’s just the two of them, it’s so easy to fall into him, to give in to her instincts and love him just as completely as he loves her. His love is so addicting, so familiar and safe. It’s hard to have to face reality when this dream come true is so wonderful. A part of her is no longer missing anymore, and she can’t imagine living without him.

Since I suspect that MC’s love and closeness with Jack will allow him to be more real the more strongly they feel it, he’s going to be a lot more real in this AU a lot more quickly. Being a fated pair is a magical bond that can’t be broken. Add it and the general supernatural nature of this world, and Jack has a much stronger hold on reality thanks to Alice, especially after they share so much love as soon as he appears.

This means Jack doesn’t just appear in mirrors and in cameras, but also in front of other people. He doesn’t experience the world as a ghost, though he still has to contend with just suddenly appearing out of nowhere with no ID and all the other issues that come with suddenly existing in the world again.

However, just because Jack is more real doesn’t mean that he’s human again. He’s still a very supernatural being in a world full of people who have sharp animal instincts. Alphas like Ian, Shaun, and Nick can sense that something is wrong with Sunny Day Jack despite his bright and shiny smile. This is something these three are more sensitive to due to their attraction towards Alice and their Alpha instincts telling them to protect the Omega they care for.

Since Alphas have better senses to a supernatural degree, maybe they smell something… off about Jack, see something unnatural about him. Perhaps he’s a bit… staticy? He’s not simply another Alpha to them, he’s something not right. He’s uncanny… and dangerous.

And, much to these Alphas’ concern, Alice doesn’t see that at all. She has no sense of the danger Jack poses. All she sees when she looks at Jack is the man who she loves with all her heart, who loves her just as much.

Will Shaun, Nick, or Ian manage to shine a light on this shady clown and expose what’s wrong with him, or will their fears be proven to be unfounded? Will these Alphas clash with claws and fangs or worse? Will Jack have to go to extremes to make sure no one takes his sunshine away from him ever again? He’s gone feral before because of the fear of losing her, and it’s pretty common for Alphas to clash in this world after all, especially when it’s to protect someone they love.

Good thing Omegas have the power to heal when Alphas are ready and willing to tear into each other, but hopefully Alice won’t have to heal the wounds left behind from her lover’s feral frenzy like she did back when her name was Mary. Jack certainly doesn’t need more sins weighing down his soul when he’s finally clean now. Fortunately Omegas have a knack of keeping Alphas from losing control when they’re around… at least, unless they want them to lose control during sexy times.

Wow, this ramble went on a lot longer than I expected. I guess that’s what happens when I need to go into full-blown world building, huh? Anyway, I hope you enjoy my take on Omegaverse with the SDJ cast, and my spicy bit of writing between Jack and Alice! Maybe I’ll dip into this AU again sometime.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Omegaverse #Alpha Beta Omega #Headcanon Ramblings #My Writing #Omegaverse AU

[misc-obeyme]

am I the only one who doesn't feel represented when it comes creating female lead in general?? i see rare unique and different female mc or characters compared to the typical female lead of interactive choice-based games.

my mc or me personality is more challenging and rebellious, she has that macho attitude and knows how to push someone's buttons. She is muscular and aggressive with a "what's up bro" and "nah fuck that fuck society" vibe, unlike the soft, pale as snow with "cute elegant clothing, long lustrous hair, slender physique and a quiet pleasant personality" typical female lead. there is nothing wrong with cute gals, they cool, they cool, but they're other gals then the submissive ones.

i do enjoy the game, let's be honest, who can survive simeons charm?? but i don't actually feel myself when i play as mc if you get what i mean. this wasn't only for tomboys tho it was for female mc in general who don't find themselves in mc, not getting represented. i gave my example and my struggling.

I think this is an issue for a lot of otome style games. I find that I don't like playing ones that have an actual image for MC. If they don't use the pronouns too much, I can usually gloss over that stuff, but the MCs are so very different from how I identify as a person that I can't self insert at all. (Not that I would if I could, to be fair.)

In fact, I feel like Obey Me is the only game in this genre that hasn't been as bad. (Well, Arcana was pretty good with this too since they let you choose your pronouns but I haven't played it in a while lol.)

MC is gender neutral by default, so they have that at least, which is more than I can say for most otome games. However, the personality problem still exists in OM and really I'd say it's just as bad as most of the others. Generic OM MC has some funny and unhinged lines, but most of the time everybody talks about how nice and sweet they are. I mean, we all joke about them being the demon therapist, but that's really how it is.

On the one hand, it's kind of annoying because you're right. Different types of MCs just don't exist really. And since the default is often female, it's like the one personality they think anyone female can have.

On the other hand, they're going to have to do this at a certain level. They can't give MC too much of a personality. In the end, they're still going for a target audience and I guess they think most female players are going to want to be portrayed as nice and sweet MCs?

All that rambling aside, your feelings are completely valid. To be honest with you, I don't see this changing in otome style games any time soon. So the best we can do is imagine the story differently for ourselves!

So many times I've been given a set of dialogue options for MC and been like... okay neither Ciaran or I would say any of those things. Here is what Ciaran would say if they were experiencing this moment! Then I choose the dialogue that's closest. Or if it's main story, I choose the ones that I think will raise intimacy lol.

Anyway, I don't think you're the only one. I think this is a pretty common feeling. And maybe one day someone will make an otome or dating sim game where the MC has a more rebellious attitude or is female but muscular. It says a lot about how women are perceived when the "generic" female lead is considered to be a nice and meek type of person. It's an unfortunate circumstance of society.

#tbh I would also be thrilled to have a muscular female love interest #obey me #anon asks #misc answers

[thescarsilivewith-if]

As a disabled person, it's really affirming ti me that all of the ROs are disabled. Like it's rare enough to see one of the ROs in a game be disabled (and a lot have over twice as many as you do), which adds to the feelings of being an outcast, and even when they do, it's always treated as a Big Deal and like the main plot point of their romance arc, which admittedly is kind of uncomfortable to me. Like don't get me wrong, being disabled is a huge part of my life, but it's not some hurdle to overcome if you want to date me and the ~climactic scene of my romance arc~ isn't going to be me dumping my trauma about my disability and then we start making out. Like I've never known anyone who's gotten horny over that lmao and I tend to just be emotionally exhausted. Basically I appreciate that disabled characters are the norm rather than being othered and that they're not portrayed as Disability Rep: The Person, but rather just as regular people. It means so so much to me you don't even know.

This ask honestly warmed my heart. I have always been a nit baffled by the lack of disabled characters in fiction, especially historical fiction. Kaela was heavily inspired by Francis, Duke of Anjou and Alençon - I happened to watch a documentary about his life and it was very eye-opening. He suffered from smallpox at a young age and though he survived he was heavily disfigured, so much so that his nose was said to appear split in half. That didn't stop him from having a lavish life, taking many male and female lovers and coming the closest to marry Queen Elizabeth I (she too had to cover her smallpox scars with makeup).

I thought to myself, illnesses now eradicated were part of the daily life and they did not discriminate between poor or wealthy. It's very plausible to have such an illness in a fantasy setting, and so Kaela was born as you know them.

I also dislike the narrative that the disability has to be portrayed as the main conflict of a character. Yes, it has shaped them, yes it is an integral part of them but it's by far all there is to them. A bit like sexuality, it's only a part of what defines someone as a person.

Naja too has adjusted their life to live with their selective mutism, but again it is only just a part of them.

Thank you for your words, I am truly happy to do my part for how little it is - in this.

#anon ask #disability talk #ro: kaela

[xoteajays]

The Duality Of Man.

Their real ages are similar to their character ages. Because Do-hwan's born in 1992, and Sang-yi's born in 1991. And their characters are just two years apart in the show. And they are best friends in real life, they even see each other as brothers - just like Gun and Jin. It's adorable!

They're basically their characters in real life. If you ever actually watch celebrity interviews, watch their interviews together. No differences... I love the bromance between them! In real life, and in character too.

And they're both homebodies! I have to marry them.

~

Oh! Before I forget. That Worst Of Evil show.. The main actor, not that Squid Games guy, but the actor who's the police officer in the show is an actor I've seen before. I've seen one of his shows. So I might watch the show if I ever had the chance to, to see if I might watch the show.

Maybe mind is really scattered today. I don't know why I can't think.

~

Personally, I can't imagine Rocky being into one night stands with the women. But... If there is a possibility that Rocky would have one night stands with women, I could see him having a way where everyone is a satisfied person without any negative feelings afterwards. And I don't know why. But that's how I could see that happening. If that happens.

Hyuga's the sluttiest one of the SWORD leaders. Since you asked, his business is like a gambling den if that's what you want to consider it. I noticed animal fighting (the animal lover in me is judging Hyuga with his), black jack, poker, any betting games. So gambling den.. I guess? I can't think of a proper word for that business. Betting shop? Not too sure. But a lot of the women in the building wear the elegant kimonos you'd see, at least from what I've noticed the women wearing though.

The Rude Boys are the most vanilla. Which is understandable. Even if they had kinks, their kinks would be basic compared to everyone else in the series. This is just how I imagine this for them. But.. yeah. That.

That's what I was thinking. When Rocky does have sex with someone, I rarely imagine him still wearing his grilles for the most part. But that doesn't mean he might not have the grilles in sometimes though, but, occasionally in some situations is what I thought. And same.. Like I'm aware that celebrities wear grilles but I know not a thing about grilles.

Exactly.

That is what I thought.. If Rocky is still attempting to be involved with this women, even if they're complete opposites, you know that is also an act of love if he's willing to compromise his traditions for someone.

Yes... If you're not used to somethings, but then suddenly having a lot of that thing would be overwhelming to him. So whenever he ends up finding out it's because she isn't used to romance, then he could start with smaller gestures before gradually getting to the bigger gestures. Basically what you said. So I would see that happened between them.

Yes. If someone in Rude, or Nameless City, does give someone a gift.. I would imagine more practical gifts that would be used until it would me ruined, broken, unfixable. Don't know. Depends on what the gifts.

That is the closest I can ever imagine Hyuga being romantic, him and his partner watching fireworks together. Or he beats up anyone that's giving her a hard time. But I could see all the guys going that too. So.. Watching fireworks together, making out, possibly sex if it ends up to that. But I can't think of any possible romantic gestures besides that.

Rocky's needs a vacation after almost dying just from watching some female friends fighting guys twice their size. Between these girls who fight like boys, Kizzy blackmailing him.. How is Rocky still alive now?!

But that's the thing. Does Kaito decide to help Koo from stopping any possible thing that Kizzy says or does to Rocky's girlfriend, or just sits next to them while they're talking about their men. The real questions with this situation. Oh my God! Rocky needs a real vacation over this.

i watched the second episode last night and g o d, gun woo crying throughout that episode was Too Much for me. like my poor boy, my sweet baby. my heart can’t take it, no more tears plEASE

also thirty stitches in his pretty face?? loan shark man whose name i dont care to remember, i will kill you.

woo jin is such a good friend, but also he talks. so much. he’s just talk talk talk talk and gun woo is always just standing there like ‘yea🧍’

i love them both tho.

also i’m so mad that the main actress did that nonsense because she’s so pretty in the show with her short hair, but i can’t find myself getting attached to her character knowing what she does irl. if they do make a second season and recast her, i hope they keep her short hair.

~

ah yea, gambling den is probably a better term for it. i was thinking casino but was sure it wasn’t exactly that.

slightly off topic, but it’s interesting the range of businesses they used for the characters across h&l. the rascals have clubs, daruma has the betting den, sannoh has itokan and the bar. it’s just neat idk

the most i could probably see for various rude boys is agoraphilia. not like public public, but there’s a lot of lil hidden places are nameless to get it on that aren’t exactly a closed-in bedroom.

i can see it as an occasional thing, but i dont imagine it’s easy to do a lot of mouthy things while wearing grilles. but again, idk a whole lot about grilles so i’ll leave speculation to people who actually wear them or have a kink for it. im sure there’s some people with a thing for it in the rocky tag.

i’m sure he’d figure out some other way to be romantic that his partner’s more comfortable with. something more specific to them as opposed to all the classic gestures he’d usually do.

yea, smaller things like small bouquets or little gifts spread out and then slowly building up to something grander. i bet rocky would enjoy the planning of it though, and seeing how his partner reacts with each thing.

yea, exactly. something practical, something with use. it’s likely more romantic in nameless as opposed to flowers. food is probably also a common gift though. like something that they usually can’t get in nameless. the couple would probably end up sharing whatever the food thing is tho.

hyuga’s just not that much of a romantic. he’s just like. a dude. he can probably muster up romance if his partner asks for it, but he’d probably have to ask around for ideas because he has no clue.

rocky’s stressing. yui’s brawling and then waving him off if he tries to help her, even if she’s bleeding. kizzy’s spilling all his secrets ‘for fun’. he needs a weekend off and a massage. koo set him up an appointment somewhere please.

kaito is also not being helpful. he just goes to cuddle up with kizzy. if kizzy gets too pushy or he notices rocky’s gf looking uncomfortable with a question, maybe he’ll give kizzy a light warning to not be too nosy. but yea. he’s not really being helpful. at least kaito can keep a secret tho, not that it matters because he’s also not really stopping kizzy from blabbing.

#tj answers #long post // #long post anon

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hihihi this is may be a weird question but is your opinion on the main hypmic cast?

In brief:

(Spoiler alert: It was not brief. Stuck under a cut for length)

Ichirou: He's a good kid. I wasn’t super into him at first, as main protagonists very rarely hold my interest, but I appreciate him now for the struggles he goes through and the growth he’s experienced across the series.

Jirou: Jirou is also a good kid in his own way. I didn’t know what to do with him for a while, but now I feel like I understand him too. I don’t think he quite gets what makes Ichirou be as loved as he is, nor does he really understand what makes people love him for who he is. But that’s okay. He’ll get it someday.

Saburou: If you had tasked me as a fourteen year old to create an idealized anime boy sona, I would have come up with someone shockingly similar to Saburou. I’m fond of him. He can be a bit mean at times in a very fourteen way, but deep down, he’s a good kid too. All the BBs are good kids.

Samatoki: I just can’t not make fun of him. His posturing is so ridiculous to me that I am constantly filled with the urge to clown on him. Oh, you think you’re so tough? You think you’re a big tough guy? Well, I’m just a little bastard; what are you going to do about it? But underneath the posturing, I do feel sorry for him and admire his strengths a lot. He’s a good kid too under a very funny exterior.

Juuto: I’m enjoying learning more about him from the BB/MTC+ manga, but I’m a bit surprised at how much of a dick he is even deep down. Still, he has plenty of good qualities too, and I like him in a vague sort of way. I’d throw fruit at him over a fence but wouldn’t put any malice in it.

Riou: What a delightful individual he is. The BB/MTC chapter about him really resonated with me. For a character so outwardly obsessed with the military, Riou has an incredible understanding of the weight of his actions and such a deep appreciation for every living thing. There’s a lot of his depth to his simplicity, and the level of care he exhibits towards everyone is delightful to witness. An absolute favorite among the cast.

Ramuda: Self-recognition through the other (derogatory). In all seriousness, Ramuda’s story arc and actions are great narrative tools for me to examine some things about myself and grow to try to be a better, more considerate person towards myself and others. I want to see him achieve freedom and happiness.

Gentarou: I enjoy Gentarou quite a bit, although I think he gets overshadowed by the other members of Fling Posse at times due to my sheer passion for Dice and Ramuda. He’s my favorite character to translate at the moment, which is apparently heresy among Hypmic translators. More than the sheer fun of writing his witty banter, I find him to be a very intriguing individual, and I’m excited to learn more about him. I want his happiness too.

Dice: Oh, Dice... He’s a really good kid in a way that the BBs could never be. He’s deceptively good, and he does choose to hurt other people and himself in ways that characters like Ichirou don’t. But he also finds the goodness in the oddest places, like a person finding a coin in a cracked sidewalk, and that’s delightful. His narrative is one of the most compelling for me. What a champion of a character.

Jakurai: Wow, what a good foil for Ramuda. Let me bounce narratives off of you like a mirror. I’m slowly learning to find him compelling in his own right, however. This is also a self-recognition through the other (derogatory) scenario, but there’s more of an emphasis on the derogatory part.

Hifumi: A funny little individual bearing a lot of sadness and a whole lot more courage. Like most of Matenrou, I admire him a lot, but I think that Matenrou resonates much more strongly with other people than they do for me, so I prefer to sit back and let other people appreciate them. I think he’s very brave and very fun to read/write.

Doppo: The biggest fucking mood in existence. When you move past the stereotypical aspects, you end up with another character who has a lot of deep flaws but also an incredible amount of courage. I’m excited to see where they go with him, but again, I’ll sit back and let others take the first row here.

Kuukou: Having already drafted Saburou, if you came back to me at age eighteen and asked me to make an idealized anime boy sona, you would probably have ended up with a character astonishingly like Kuukou. He brings me sheer joy. Astonishingly, I feel like Kuukou has exhibited the least growth out of any of the cast, and yet I do not mind a bit. He is the closest to the perfect man I have ever met. I would drop everything to be this dude’s homie if he existed in real life. Just a champion individual.

Juushi: Juushi’s a good kid. I’m very fond of him and like writing him, but much like Matenrou, I feel like he does a lot more for other people than he does for me. Therefore, much of how I work with him is less, “How do I enjoy this character as a reader?” and more “How do I nurture the traits about him that other people love?”

Hitoya: Hitoya strikes me as a damn good person with a lot of heart who sometimes lets his anger drive him a bit too much. He’s also utterly ridiculous, of course, but I try to write him with as much strength as possible to be present behind his words. He honestly seems like a great person to know in real life, not simply as a fictional character, as well.

Sasara: I have to clown on him to assert dominance. Joking aside, I admire the depths of his character and the growth he’s shown over the series. He can be pretty callous at times and goes to odd lengths to get what he wants, but I think he’s now starting to realize how much his actions affect other people. For a while I was really in his camp as a hardcore Sasara lover (back before he was a main cast member - I love writing quirky minor characters), but now I approach him with the idea mentioned above, ie how I can present him for other people.

Roshou: Whenever he’s around the rest of Dotsu Hon, I think he’s kind of an idiot. I mean that in the best way possible. It’s very endearing. Yet moments when he’s on his own are where I think he best shines, and I would love to see more solo material for him. He’s an incredibly good support character, and I admire his passion for his students.

Rei: I really enjoy asshole antagonists, which is why I liked Ramuda for a while before the clone story came up behind me and struck me into the ground with its mighty fists. Now Rei fills this role. I would love to learn more about him and team up with the Buster Bros to pelt him with rotten eggs in a fun bonding activity. I’m sure there is some strong backstory that will absolve him of at least some of his shittiness, but until now, I’m still not excusing his whole abandoning his children thing, not to mention the human trafficking thing he pulled with Ramuda.

Otome: I hate translating her, if only because she and Rei frequently talk about things in extremely vague terms that I have no context for. It’s hard to make her sound idiomatic in English while also not shooting myself in the foot by accidentally filling in the wrong information. But with that aside, she’s okay. I like her, I guess. Her motivations are pretty interesting.

Ichijiku: Ichijiku was written for people who are sexually attracted to women, and I’m not at all, so I 100% approach her in terms of her pull on other people. She’s fun on her own, though, and I’m impressed at her ability to walk in high heels. Her complete disrespect for everyone but Otome brings me no end of entertainment in reading and writing.

Nemu: YOU. Maybe this is some stupid toxic masculinity thing, but I always feel embarrassed speaking affectionately about male characters but not at all about female characters. Therefore Nemu gets all of my loveposting. She’s a wonderful girl! She has such a strong spirit, and I’m completely overjoyed that she’s making her own decisions and becoming her own character defined on her own terms. I want to watch her grow up big and strong. Fuck yes, baby girl! Fuck it up! I’m very proud of her.

#not a translation #asks #hypmic asks

[hanna-water]

Season 8 Constantin Theory

there is one thought that got stuck in my mind since the last two weeks and I just wanted to write it down to be able to check later if I was right...  It maybe sounds very far-fetched but I have this theory that Constantins season (if s8 will be about Constantin) could be about sexual harassment. What?! Ok wait, hear me out. What are the main things we already know about Constantin? We know that his Dad has issues and (at least) is verbally abusive, we know that Consti is sometimes exessively drinking and that he is into sports a lot. The last thing I mentioned is the key to my theory. His interest in Sports wasn`t mentioned much on the show but if you scroll through his instagram feed and story-highlights it becomes very apparent. There is also one insta-story where he shows his grades and the only subject he has an A (grade 1 in germany) in, is Sports (PE). You are probably asking yourself where this is going......just wait ;). It has been mentioned during the last seasons that many girls (not the characters) have filed complaints against one Sportsteacher of the school because of harassment. I always wondered why this was talked about but never really adressed in the show. So what if this was a setup for a future storyline? Imagine this: Let`s say Consti is the next main. He has trouble at home, mediocore grades in school and has also just lost Isi as his closest friend. Doing sports is probably something that gives him comfort and self confidance because he is good at it. He probalby spends a lot of time training in the school gym and maybe got very close to his Sports teacher. Possibly he became even like a fatherfigure to him because he gets no reassurance or support from his real Dad. And now what if this is the same teacher that we already heard about before? What if he not only gets too touchy with his female students but also with Consti? Sexual harassment is a huge problem in Sports and is getting more and more media attention these days. To even go a little bit further ..... I think Umut is having his wednesday football training at Isis school gym, doesn`t he? Was the trainer that Isi met when he was picking up Umut the same person? Several people commented on this clip that Isis reaction and panic seemed to be about much more than just about getting approached the wrong way and being called “Ismail” (not feeling like him/her/themselves). Maybe Isi did also have a bad experience with this trainer/teacher, that we don`t know about yet. Maybe that was a part of the set-up for the next season.  I think it would be very interesting to show a male character experiencing and dealing with sexual harassment (instead of a female character) because we only see that very rarely in any shows. It is a serious and very important topic, so I don`t know if its too dark for the Druck-vibe. But there are so many small things that could have hinted this. You could even tie it back to Consti kissing Isi without consent and not even realizing how bad it was and how it affected Isi. Maybe his own experiences in s8 could make him understand why what he did was absolutely not ok and could lead to a real and sincere apology to Isi for his behavoir. (and maybe even a little reconciliation?) If you read this long post till the end, here is some love for you  ❤ ❤ ❤ . Thanks for investing your time in my probably very far-fetched thoughts ^^. Very likely that I am completly one the wrong track with this theory but I thought tumblr is the right place for overanalyzing and wild theories :).  Feel free to share your opinion if you want. 

#Druck #constantin #isi #theories #season 8 #seriously what is going on in my mind... #need to get some sleep ^^

[i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror]

okay so how do u feel about how the main female characters were handled in 4.0

This is going to be loooooong.

Firstly, I want to say that the fanservice was just godawful. Pedophilic, hamfisted, gross, and just plain annoying. The only adult characters who were subjected to anything resembling the female pilot's treatment were Midori and Sakura (who are in their early 20s if my math checks out). None of the adult women were subjected to the same type of fanservice as the pilots. It raises the question of...well, who's the intended audience here? It's especially jarring since there was like, almost none in 3.33. So I won't be discussing the fanservice in each of the character sections. Just know that I hate it universally. Also, people who fervently deny that asuken and marishin were romantic in this movie are on nuclear levels of copium. Obviously you don't have to (and shouldn't, to be frank,) ship it, but it's clear that hetero endgames were intended.

1. Ritsuko

I don't have any complaints here. I guess I wish she had more screentime. I liked her scenes with Misato, but their conversations felt a bit more stilted that how you would think friends of 25 years would speak to each other. I liked that she got to shoot Gendo.

Her new VA wasn't much to write home about. It was still a good performance, but Mary Faber's rendition of Ritsuko wasn't as deep or womanly a voice as Sue Ulu or Colleen Clinkenbeard's were. It took some adjusting, but she's definitely growing on me.

2. Misato

Kaji junior, as a concept, was actually genius and makes perfect sense. Tons of parallels were drawn between her and Gendo even in the original series so it's apt that she would become a deadbeat parent like he was. It's tragic yet fitting. Her being devoted to Shinji over her own son sadly makes a lot of sense. Additionally, it fucking sends me to think that she was pregnant at the end of 2.22!

I don't like how she swapped back to her old hairstyle during the climax, though. It doesn't make a lick of sense.

Also, her turning into the Spear of Gaius was dumb and misogynistic as hell. It's the "boy gets rewarded with woman's body" trope taken to its logical extreme. Like Soul Eater if it was unimaginably, violently misogynistic.

3. Mari

For the most part, I liked Mari in Thrice Upon a Time. She was the closest to an actual 3D character as she's ever been, and I found myself really liking her and getting excited when she was on screen. Her fight in Paris at the beginning of the movie was exciting and fun, probably the best part of the movie.

VERY weird, however, that she knew Shinji when he was a baby and then became his love interest. Like genuinely what the hell was that. The reveal that her given name is Mary Iscariot was also weird, but honestly I liked it. It was cheesy and bad in a fun way, unlike the rest of the movie. Obviously her surname being "Iscariot" is a reference to Judas and how she betrayed Gendo and Fuyutsuki, but I looked it up and apparently Iscariot is an actual surname. However, according to one website I looked at, it's so rare that only four people in the entire world are documented as bearing it.

It's also funny that Mari being British is like, never explicitly confirmed or referenced in these movies. Outside of cursory references to British folklore (her first eva being a quadruped, wielding a jousting lance, and slaying a reptile-like creature), it literally doesn't matter and is never brought up. In 2.22 there's this scene where she's like "wow it's such a shame that I have to use these adults for my agenda," and it's like...girl, what's your agenda?!?! Explain!

4. Asuka

The asuken thing was offensive on every level. I would be able to buy that they were just buddies IF Asuka wasn't walking around naked in front of him and if he wasn't in the doll at the end. As it stands, though? The vibe is definitely shippy, and it's disgusting. I mean, swap out Kensuke for Mari in the doll scene and everyone would recognize it for what it is. Speaking of asumari...

The asumari bait in this movie is also gross. Not because it's asumari, but because it's bait. We have all these scenes of Asuka and a flirtatious Mari, and for what? For Marishin to be endgame? For Kensuke to be a pedophile? For Asuka to be alone at the train station at the end? Fuck, I don't even like asumari. It makes me feel like I'm losing my marbles. But still. They got done dirty in this movie.

Moving on, Asuka's death in this movie actually shook me a lot more than I thought it would. It's way spookier and eerie than her death in eoe. To be honest, I've always been a "Bardiel is in Asuka's eye, and that's why she has the eye patch" theory denier because, to be frank, I didn't have faith in these movies to actually make sense, so that was a pleasant surprise.

I liked the revelation that Asuka was actually also a clone series like Rei. It was unexpected yet made a lot of sense. Asuka clamoring to be loved, for the affection that's been denied to her because she's just another fly in the swarm; a military weapon, ultimately. However, I gotta say that like...Mari was out here giving Asuka the affection and love she explicitly admits to wanting in the movie. The scenes of her training in Germany were cool to watch. That's something I wish we'd seen in the original anime.

The reveal that Asuka's older than Shinji and was in her early 20s during 2.22 (she looks about 10 to be in the flashback with Gendo, Yui, and baby Shinji) was weird but after the Mari thing I didn't mind.

5. Rei

Firstly, I was super happy to see Amanda Winn Lee back!

This movie came so close yet still ended up missing the mark when it came to Rei. The concept isn't the issue at all. "Rei gets accepted into the village and learns to truly live" is amazing, actually! The problem is the cutesification of Rei. Here's a really good quote about why this is a problem. In 3.33 she was depicted pretty neutrally, all things considered, and a few scenes with her drifted into the familiar eerie, tragic territory of the original show. So this change is both deliberate and jarring.

Another issue is that Q!Rei's characterization, especially in this movie, has always seemed to me like that of a semi-verbal, high-support autistic person. That in and of itself isn't the problem at all. With very few exceptions, such as the Angelic Days manga, Rei has always been heavily autistic coded. Y'all know how I feel about this. The way the "camera," for lack of a better word, perceives Rei, how she's drawn, and how other characters react to her (cooing and giggling about how cute and naive she is), all rub me the wrong way when you take that into consideration. Autistic people are infantilized and cutesified in real life. This heavily contributes to the ableist abuse and neglect that we deal with as a population. In 2.22, Rei's seen reading Oscar Wilde, and in this movie she's reading a picture book for kids, even though she can read the esoteric technobabble in an eva's UI. She also gets Hikari's old school uniform as a hand-me-down, immediately codifying and signaling that she's eternally a cute little kid. Obviously the curse of eva still applies to the other pilots, but it's on a whole new level here. Her feelings for Shinji are fantastically mishandled as well.

I love the scene she shares with Asuka, because it's basically Asuka telling Rei that she's experiencing comphet -- these feelings are not organic, nor are they her own. They were planted by Gendo. In a better movie, this would've been a pivotal moment of questioning for Rei. Instead, she just says "whatever" and leaves. She even delegates the job of picking a new name to Shinji, not because she herself is incapable of it, but because she doesn't think she's fit to. Shinji is also just downright rude to her, not just in this movie, but in 3.33 too. That scene where she returned the walkman to him only for him to push it away would've been a great moment for her to be done with him. Also, Q!Rei even having a crush on Shinji at all in this movie came out of nowhere since in 3.33 there was nothing to suggest that.

Her past abuse and life at NERV are never brought up beyond vague mentions of "orders." Again, Rei's trauma isn't cute or sweet. It's tragic, harrowing, and uncomfortable. She asks what a cat is, why they shrunk a baby, and doesn't know what a bath is. Yes, logically, she might be confused about these things, given her past. But again, the decision to include those things specifically were deliberate. They're cute, easy to digest examples. It reminds me of questions a toddler would ask, excitedly going "mommy, what's that!" upon seeing a new animal at a park, tying yet again into the theme of brutal and gross infantilization. I don't know, I just think that learning that you were abused, neglected, and cloistered for your entire life should be disturbing, horrifying, existential, and a traumatic revelation in and of itself.

Her death didn't bother me that much, since it was foreshadowed in 2.22. In a weird way, I was happy that she died early on so she couldn't get butchered even further. Long-haired Rei was fine. She felt like 2.22 Rei and didn't do much except listen to Shinji. I thought her saying "neon genesis" was cool. Just like the Mary Iscariot thing, it was bad in a fun, goofy way. I like Rei's outfit at the train station at the end. I always knew she'd be a maxi skirt woman. Oh, and those boomer farmer women were great.

6. Hikari

Hikari was fine in this movie. I will say that it felt jarring to see her go from a high-powered, conscientious class representative to a SAHM. That's not a dig at SAHMs, either. Just saying it was weird. Fits with the natalist hell that is this movie, though. Seriously, even the quiverfull nutjobs would think this is too on the nose.

7. Midori & Sakura

Covering these two in the same section since they share most of their screentime. These two behave irrationally, and, forgive me for using a historically loaded term, hysterically. They monologue about their pain and loss while pointing their guns at Shinji, hesitate to shoot, and miss when they finally do. Then Misato tells them that Shinji's going to save them and they change their tune entirely to "zomg Shinji is our savior!" and this all happens within like, a minute and a half, at most?

#anon #anonymous #ask #answered #midori kitakami #sakura suzuhara #ritsuko akagi #misato katsuragi #mari makinami illustrious #asuka langley soryu #asuka langley shikinami #rei ayanami #hikari horaki

[mandoclan]

SWEET HOME KENTUCKY // Jack Daniels (Agent Whiskey) x F!Reader

A/N: 14.8k. Yes, this is a spinoff of Sweet Home Alabama. I love that movie and I love Whiskey, so here you go! This is Jack Daniels x Female!Reader, but there’s no Y/N mention (unless I missed one).

Warnings: Character Death (mentioned in passing), Fluff, Angst, Divorce, Physical Abuse (a punch and a tight grip), Drinking, Drunkenness, (basically, if you’ve seen the movie, I’ve deviated but no more than normal).

She still dreamed about that night. The one where Jack took her out to the meadow behind his mama’s house and told her he wanted to marry her one day. To which she asked, “Why would you want to marry me for anyhow?” and he replied, “So I can kiss you anytime I want.” Her first kiss. Her first love. And they were only twelve at the time.

It didn’t come as a shock to her when Jack had asked her to marry him right out of high school. She was his first love, after all, and Jack swore he’d loved her since before he ever kissed her in that meadow. But then he never showed up to their reception because he was still drunk from his “bachelor party” the night before, he was always gone on missions and attempted to stop her from doing the same even when they worked for the same intelligence agency, and she eventually got shot in the head in a mission gone wrong, resulting in medical having to use Alpha-gel on her to bring her back.

That fatal injury had broken her and it had broken Jack too. He hadn’t been able to protect his own wife when she was his partner, and that killed him inside. After that, he became almost overbearing in his protectiveness and you’d eventually asked Champagne for a transfer after a whole year of turmoil in your home, explosive fights, and missions spent arguing. Champ loved you and Jack like his own kids and wanted you and your husband to fix this, but he did as you asked and you’d transferred to New York without telling Jack with the instructions that if he were to ask that Champ would tell him that you were safe and in another Statesman office.

That’s where you found yourself now, leading the New York office after the last agent had retired. You’d built up your reputation from scratch, leading missions and directing agents in the Northeast region of the United States. You kept in touch with Champ barely, but it had been seven years since you left Kentucky. You refused to even think about Jack unless you were sending another copy of the divorce papers or unless you had that damn dream about the meadow again.

You woke to the sound of your office door opening, and you lifted your head from the desk you occupied on the top floor.

“How come you let me sleep?” You grumbled to your assistant when he stepped into the room with a mug of coffee and a mission report from one of your top operatives.

“You needed it, boss, but it was only for a few minutes. Long enough for me to grab your coffee and fetch the report from downstairs.” He shrugged. “Y’know, that accent of yours gets a whole lot thicker when you’re dreaming.”

That boy had the audacity to smirk before you narrowed your eyes at him.

“And what exactly did I say?” You demanded.

“That I’m gonna get a raise when you realize how awesome I am.”

“We’ll see how good your coffee skills are, then.” You laughed, finally smiling at him through your exhaustion. In all reality, you liked this kid. He’d just been assigned to you and hadn’t earned his agent name yet, but you had a feeling he would do just fine and you already had plans to promote him come next quarter.

“Enjoy.”

“Mhmm,” you hummed, “I’ll see you tomorrow for that meeting in the conference room, alright?”

The kid agreed and you nodded at him before making your way to the elevators.

Your apartment on the lower levels of the Statesman New York building was modest, but well-lived in. You’d wanted to make it seem as much like home as possible. This time, however, your apartment wasn’t as empty as usual. The entire entryway and living room were filled with rose petals and rose bouquets in glasses of water.

“Goddamn that man,” you swore, stepping around the petals and heading to the panel you had on the wall where an orange light was blinking, signifying you had a waiting message. A button was pressed and suddenly your boyfriend’s voice filled the room.

“There’s a rose for every moment I thought of you last night. God, you must be exhausted. Sweetie, listen, I’ll see you tomorrow at our meeting. You’ll do great. I love you. Bye.” The message ended and you rolled your eyes before heading over to the largest of the bouquets.

You loved your boyfriend, Agent Rum, but this was too much. You hated huge, sappy gestures like this and he knew it, but you supposed it was a bit sweet. Very few other ladies you knew had such attentive men at their sides and Jack had never done anything remotely like this. A sharp breath was inhaled in an attempt to nix that thought from your mind before you headed to your front door and made your way to the ladies’ dorms. You left an embarrassingly big bouquet in front of each door and sighed in satisfaction once you’d swept up and removed most of the flowers in your apartment.

_________________________________________________________________

The meeting you’d scheduled came sooner than you’d liked, this being a collaboration between the Texas office and your own New York one. Rum walked in and kissed your forehead before the meeting could even start and you smiled at him. He could always brighten your day in an instant.

“Thanks for the flowers, babe.” You smiled at him, squeezing his hand in yours. He grinned, asking if you really liked them, and kissed you before sitting in his spot along with a few of your other agents. You both slipped on your glasses and started the meeting, knowing that you could talk properly once the collaboration was agreed upon.

It felt like hours went by before all positions were assigned and the intel was decided upon. You groaned once you were able to remove the glasses needed to see everyone in their remote locations, rubbing your temples. Hands were felt on your shoulders, and you knew it was Rum. Your glasses blinked a light on the side and you sighed, placing them back on your face.

The blinking was due to a message from Agent AppleJack, one of your own agents whom you’d taken a shine to and often spent weekends going about the city with. She was a nice girl from Maine who had an affinity for seafood you couldn’t quite get behind, but you’d consider her one of the closest friends you had in this city.

“Please tell me he has a flaw somehow.” She had typed out. You rolled your eyes before moving your eyes on the on-screen keyboard to type a reply.

“He asked me to go to California for Christmas.”

“He’s gonna ask you a lot more than that,” was her reply.

“You think so?” You were suddenly nervous. You’d only been dating Rum for six months and your divorce still wasn’t finalized.

“Sweetie, let’s go for a walk.” Rum took you from your conversation, and you nodded, slipping the glasses back off your face. “You’re so stressed, but you did so well today.”

You both made your way to the elevator, hand in hand, and eventually you meandered around Central Park just talking about your jobs and how your last missions went. You rarely went on them anymore, but you made sure that Rum had as many as he liked to keep him happy.

“So have you made a decision?” He finally asked, bright eyes boring into yours.

“About what?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“California.”

“Babe, California? That’s four months from now. We don’t even have to decide right now because we can literally jump on any jet we have and go within 6 hours if we want.”

“I was thinking maybe 200 guests, tops.” Rum continued in his words, but you stopped him with a pull to his hand.

“For Christmas?” You asked, still very confused. “Rum, are you on some kind of medication I don’t know about? Should I take you off of field duty for a bit? Did you get shot or something?”

All of a sudden, Rum was kneeling in front of you in the middle of a pathway in Central Park, and everything finally made sense. He held a diamond ring in his hand, the light hitting it just right and you gasped.

“Brandy, and I should probably know your real name by now, will you marry me?”

“Are you sure? Because if you’re not sure we can just go back to work and forget all about this. It’s only been six months.” You floundered, not even sure what to say, but he looked so hopeful and you really did love him.

“Brandy, I love you. I didn’t come by this decision lightly, and I really hope you’ll say yes. I want to build a life with you.” Rum stood, looking you right in your eyes. “So, I’ll ask again. Brandy, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice and felt the ring slip on your finger. It felt strange, another ring being there, but you were suddenly overcome with joy that your life was finally falling into place and you had a man who loved you and wanted to build a life with you. That’s all you could ask for. So you kissed him.

He grinned once you’d let yourselves out of his arms and released him from your kiss, hand reaching for his agency-issue watch.

“I’ve got to tell my family.” He gushed, “Wait until you see the look on the guy’s faces!”

“Babe, do you mind if we keep this to ourselves for a while? With this collaboration mission with Texas happening and everything else, I’d rather just keep this quiet for a bit.”

“You don’t want to tell your family?” Rum asked, a bit confused. You cursed yourself in your mind because he didn’t know. The only person close to being a family to you was Champ, and you hadn’t really talked to him in ages. Close to seven years, actually, which was downright awful. The guilt gnawed at you.

“Sunshine, I don’t really, um, have a family.” You stated calmly, fingers soothing the back of his hand as he pulled a face.

“But—” he started.

“I have a mentor who I looked up to as a father, but I haven’t seen him in about seven years. I think I should tell him in person.”

“Okay, whatever you want, sweetie. I’m happy as long as you’re happy.” Rum smiled, and you sighed in relief.

“He’ll love you, eventually.” You reassured him.

_________________________________________________________________

First thing the next morning, you caught a plane down to Kentucky and found yourself driving along the battered country roads to the little farmhouse where you and Jack used to live. Your watch buzzed with an incoming call, but you didn’t answer, knowing it was AppleJack. You’d fill her in later.

You parked the car next to the oak tree that still held your swing. A dog came rushing down the steps, howling at you, but you didn’t mind. It was your dog, after all. A tall man in heavy work boots busted out the door, hollering at the dog and telling you that “he don’t really bite.”

The man looked at you without really seeing you, seeing only a woman in worn out cowboy boots and aviators covering much of her face. Her hair was different, so she didn’t really expect him to recognize her.

“What can I do for you?” The man drawled in his southern accent. You shuddered, not forgetting the way that voice sounded when you were in bed together at all times of day or night.

“Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.” You snapped, pulling the sunglasses off your face. Jack’s eyes widened once your words registered. “C’mon, Jack, I mean it. The joke’s over. We need to finish this so I can get back to my office and take care of my job.”

“You’re shittin’ me, right?” Jack spluttered.

You finally got a good look at him. He had shaving cream on the side of his face as if he hadn’t got a chance to finish before your hound was howling, but he’d kept his mustache. You hated to say that he looked good, but it was the truth. The years had been kind to him.

“You know, I’ve never actually understood that expression, but no, I’m not “shitting” you.” You groaned, pulling a packet of papers out of the glovebox of your rented truck and spreading them out in the bed. “Look, it’s even got these idiot proof tabs so you can’t mess this up. I’ve got one copy for you and I both and one for my lawyer. So c’mon.”

When you looked up at him again, he didn’t say anything but he certainly looked like he had quite a few things to say.

“Well?” You demanded, irritated that he wasn’t coming down off the porch to sign the papers like you’d asked him to.

“You show up here after seven years without so much as a ‘Hey there, Jack, remember me? Your wife?’ Or a “Hi, honey, lookin’ good! How’s the family?’” He had the audacity to laugh, finally stepping closer to the edge of the porch.

“You expect me to tell you that you look good? Bless your heart. Sweetheart, we’ve been separated for seven years. I’ve had it with your bullshit.”

“They like that attitude wherever it is you’ve been?”

“Cut the crap, Jack. You knew where I was. Champ told me you accessed my records.” You spat, moving closer to the porch. “And don’t you dare tell me you’ve spent all this time missing me.”

“Oh I missed you alright, but I’ve been going to the range more and practicing so my aim’s gotten a lot better.” He drawled, leaning against the railing.

“Is that a threat, Jack? I’ve got a lawyer who charges me an arm and a leg. He charged me every time you sent these damn papers back without your signature on the dotted lines.” You lifted the papers as you spoke, but he scoffed at you.

“Well, I’m glad to see you got the message.” He smirked, going to say something else but you were both cut off by the dog howling again due to your hostile tones.

“Shut up, Coal!” You shouted, but Jack shouted a different name. “What happened to my dog, Jack?”

“He died. You weren’t here.” He grumbled, turning to go back into the ranch house. You stood there in shock for a second before realizing what he was doing.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I’m leaving!” He shouted, back turned to you, “You done it, so you should recognize the process. I need to finish shaving my damn beard.”

“Jack, can we please just keep this civilized? For God’s sake, we’re both adults and agents. Please just sign the papers so I can go back home.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. This was a mistake, you thought. He wasn’t going to sign the papers.

“What do you know from home?” Jack spit, finally turning around to face you, fire in his eyes. “Hell, I bet Champ doesn’t even know you’re here, does he? That old man took you under his wing and trained you himself and you have the audacity to avoid him like he’s some annoyance?”

“That’s my business, Jack, so you stay out of it.”

“Honey, he’s the only family you got.”

“Don’t you ‘honey’ me, honey!” If looks could kill, he’d have died about ten times by now with the murderous look you were giving him.

“Get your ass back in that truck, drive over and see him, and maybe we’ll talk after.” Jack demanded, pointing his finger at your vehicle. He was headed back inside before you could even think, and you started shouting at him as you followed him up the porch.

“Jack, you idiotic, stubborn, no good agent! The only reason you won’t sign these papers is because I want you to!” You yelled, hands on the doorknob of the windowed door he’d just slammed in your face and locked.

“Wrong!” He shouted, trying to pull the blinds on the door that he could never get figured out. “The only reason I ain’t signin’ is because you’ve turned into some hoity-toity, wine-drinking, Yankee bitch and I’d like nothing better right now than to piss you off!”

He finally maneuvered the blinds mostly over the door as you dashed to the back of the house, but he locked that too before you had a chance to get there in time. He could hear your frustrated shout from outside and he chuckled in disbelief before heading to his bathroom to get rid of the rest of his beard.

“Divorce, my ass.” He grumbled. Jack came out two minutes later, wiping his face with a towel to find you lounging on his bed. He froze.

“Hey genius,” you smirked, anger still evident in your eyes. “Next time you wanna lock somebody out, make sure they don’t know where the spare key is.” You waved the offending object in the air, and Whiskey made a mad dash for it but you closed your fist before he could snatch it.

“Knew I should’ve changed those damn locks. It’d be nice if my wife had told me where the spare key was!” He growled.

“I’m not your wife anymore, Jack.” You said softly, “I’m just the first girl that climbed in the back of your truck. But you’re right, I have changed. I don’t even know the girl you married anymore.”

“Then let me remind you.” Jack sneered before grabbing his cell phone and heading back into his bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, Jack popped his head out of the bathroom.

“You bring any clothes with stripes on ‘em?” He asked, and you looked at him in confusion.

Red and blue lights flashed through the windows suddenly and your eyes widened.

“You called the sheriff?!” You gasped, jumping off the bed you used to share with the man looking at you with a satisfied grin on his face. “You know that old bastard hates me!”

“For good reason!” Jack shouted, still in the bathroom.

You made to run for the back door, but it opened to reveal a man you knew.

“Well, hell’s bells!” The man grinned, “If it isn’t our favorite Agent Brandy!”

“Tequila?”

“Hot damn girl, did we miss you! The agency wasn’t the same without you!” Tequila laughed, picking you up and giving you the biggest hug you’d gotten in a long time.

“I can’t believe you’re the sheriff!” You pulled on his badge for a second and knocked his cowboy hat off kilter to mess with him.

“Yep, I get to frisk pretty things like you all day and get paid for it.” Tequila put his hands around your waist and you slapped his chest.

“Aaron, can you try and be at least a little more professional? We got us a crime suspect here.” Jack emerged from the bathroom and you were struck with the fact that you hadn’t known Tequila’s real name until that moment. You quickly snapped back into it, though.

“Now, Brandy, you can’t just go breaking into your ex’s house whenever you feel like it, no matter how much they might deserve it.” Tequila—Aaron, you had to remember that—said.

“I didn’t break in. I used a key. My key, if you must know.” You snorted. Clearly, “Aaron” didn’t know that y’all were still married.

“Well, it still ain’t your house, Brandy. I’m gonna have to escort you out.” Aaron made to take your wrist in his hand, but you pulled away and grabbed the divorce papers you still had with you. You waved them as you heard Jack tell Aaron to use the cuffs on you.

“If you can get that asshole to sign these papers, I’ll let you run me out of town.” You smirked and Aaron laughed at your antics.

“Now that’s none of your concern, Aaron, you hear me?” Jack started, but Aaron was already taking the papers from you to look over.

“Well, what do you know. A bill of divorcement?” He asked. You nodded, and Aaron turned to Jack. “Hell, Jack, I thought you took care of this.”

“I thought I did!” Jack protested.

“Obviously not! Well, if y’all are still married, it’s her house too. This here ain’t nothin’ but a domestic dispute.” Aaron handed the papers back to you, and you smiled at him.

“He didn’t hit you, did he? If he took a swing at you, I’ll take him in right now.” Aaron told you quietly, out of earshot of your husband. You shook your head, because no, that man had never harmed you in ways that were physical. He’d only wounded your heart.

“No, he never hit me.” You replied quietly. Aaron nodded.

“Well, seems y’all got some catching up to do, so I’m gonna leave y’all to it. There’s nobody for miles, so Jack here can make ya scream all he likes.” Aaron winked at Jack, and you shouted in indignation. “G’night, lovebirds!”

“Aaron, I saved your life at least four times back in your Statesman years! You owe me!” Jack shouted, rushing to follow the sheriff’s retreating figure. He wanted you gone from his house in handcuffs if that’s what it took to get you to leave him alone about those divorce papers that he didn’t want to sign.

“Why can’t you just sign the damn papers, Jack?” You yelled after him, and he fixed you with the nastiest stare you’d seen in a long time.

“Listen, Jack. There’s nothing I can do. Your wife’s done nothing wrong, so I can’t just haul her in for nothing. Y’hear me?” Aaron blocked the doorway with his large frame as he lifted his hands in mock surrender.

“I suppose shoplifting steaks at the grocery store’s okay.” Jack spat.

“I took ‘em back and you know it!” You screeched back.

“You remember that vandalism out at the stockyard? Totally her!”

“Like I could tip a cow by myself at sixteen.” You growled, and Jack groaned. He couldn’t hit you with anything from your Statesman years either because that was all “classified information” you didn’t have to answer to. But Jack got an idea.

“Hey Aaron, isn’t there some outstanding warrant for whoever dumped your old man’s tractor in the fish pond?” Jack smirked triumphantly, making eye contact with your horrified expression. And then the cuffs were on your wrists and you were making your merry way to the county jail in the back of his cruiser.

“Now you know I didn’t have a choice, sweetheart.” Aaron smiled ruefully once y’all reached the station. He’d ended up hauling you off in cuffs just like Jack wanted and you were seething.

“This all could have been avoided if he’d just signed those damn papers.” You grumbled. “Can I make a call?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart. You’ll get a couple minutes once I book ya.”

You rolled your eyes, taking the photos Aaron needed to do for “legal purposes.”

“You know that’s gonna get wiped once I make my call, right?” Aaron had the audacity to laugh, knowing exactly who you were going to call.

“I know. Tell big daddy I miss him.” Aaron pointed towards the phone.

It rang for a few seconds before a secretary's voice filtered on, saying the usual crap the Statesman company was supposed to yodel on about.

“Hi, I’ve got a word for you, lady.” You spit out, “Lemon drops suck.” You heard the operator say something about holding on for a moment and then a familiar voice was asking who you were.

“Champ! It’s Brandy,” you shouted, “Listen, I need a favor.”

“Name it, darling. You know I’d do anything for you and that wonderful husband of yours.” He drawled on for a moment and you smacked the phone receiver into the box.

“I need you to pick me up.”

“Well, where are ya? I’ll send a car or whatever it is you need.”

“That’s the thing. I’m in town. But, I need you to come get me from the jail.” You said after a moment. A groan came through the receiver and you winced.

“Alright, darling, I’ll be right there. I’m assuming it’s the usual one, then?”

“Yeah.”

Fifteen minutes later, the man himself was strolling through the door.

“I’m here for my girl, Tequila.” Champ rolled his eyes at you once he saw you waving. He had you out and your record erased within five minutes, and then you were back in his familiar old truck that smelled like whiskey and gunpowder. He accepted a muttered thank you while you drove off towards the Statesman offices.

“So what put you in jail this time?” Champ finally asked.

“Jack and his big, fat mouth.” You grumbled. “It was just a misunderstanding, that’s all.”

“Kinda like that wedding I officiated, huh, darling?” You refused to make eye contact.

“I would hardly call that a wedding.”

“The boy was nervous.” Champ chuckled.

“He was still drunk from the night before!”

“Can you blame him?”

“Yes, I can! We’re supposed to be professional agents and he goes and gets piss drunk the night before we’re supposed to get married. I went to the reception by myself with his puke on the side of my dress while he slept it off at the hotel. And you’re still siding with him!”

“I ain’t siding with nobody, so get rid of that idea. Y’all two are my best agents and I need you both.” Champ stated firmly. “The boy’s changed is all.”

“Can we just not talk about Jack? I know he’s like the son you never had, but you also called me your daughter and all that, so can you just ask me what’s new with me or something instead?”

“Sure. Shoot.” Champ looked disinterested, and you had the feeling that he’d kept up with you better than you’d kept up with him. Curse the archives for always spilling your secrets before you ever could.

“I met somebody. And he’s quite a catch.” You started, and Champ raised an eyebrow beneath his larger than life cowboy hat. “And I’m happy. Really.”

The rest of the drive was held in silence, neither of you feeling like talking much. He pulled into the Statesman gates and led you inside, scanning his ID card on an empty apartment in the back of the warehouses where agents could sleep during the longer missions.

“Sleep well, sweetheart. We can talk about all this in the morning.” He kissed your forehead and you hauled your bag inside. “I’ll take you to get your truck in the morning, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing.”

_________________________________________________________________

In the morning, you were on the phone with your lawyer, walking around the Statesman compound and attempting to avoid the various tour groups that were unaware of the real reason this distillery existed.

“How long does a contested divorce take?” You asked, exasperated that you had to do this now of all times because your no-good husband wouldn’t sign the divorce papers. “18 months? Mr. Collier, I don’t even have 18 days, really!”

The man told you that was how it had to be, you informed him that this arrangement wouldn’t work, and he was informing you of a different option when you heard someone wolf whistle at you, throwing out some jab.

“Ain’t seen the likes of you around this place much!” The man shouted from his horse.

“Mr. Collier, that’s just not going to work for me.” You groaned, trying to block out the man catcalling you from his horse. Clearly this was some junior agent. “Mr. Collier, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“Listen here, bubba, why don’t you kiss my ass!” You shouted up at the guy, but screamed in happiness once you realized who it was. “Oh my god, Moonshine?!”

“Let’s go inside then, missy, because I don’t do that kind of thing out here in front of the guests.” Moonshine smirked at you, jumping down from his horse.

“I guess your mama raised you right, then.” You laughed, hugging him. You’d missed Moonshine, who’d been one of your first friends in the agency aside from Jack, of course. “I better back off of you before your little lady tries to come beat me up.”

Moonshine looked sheepish.

“There is a little lady, isn’t there?”

“I can hardly afford me and my unhealthy addiction to firearms and whiskey, let alone some high-maintenance babe.” Moonshine laughed.

“What about Cara what’s-her-name? From the class outside of ours? Y’all had real chemistry on some of the missions I supervised.”

“She transferred out to the Alaska branch, and uh, I wasn’t her type.” Moonshine scratched the back of his neck and you hummed, understanding the situation.

“That answers a few of my questions. Guess we all have our secrets, don’t we, Moonshine.” You grinned, your suspicions about him batting for the opposite team nearly confirmed.

“Yeah, we sure do.” Moonshine climbed back up on his horse, tipping his hat on the way. “I gotta get back to work now, missy, but are you gonna be in town for awhile? Me and a few of the guys are going down to our normal watering hole later tonight if you’re up for it.”

“I hope I won’t be here long. I have to go see Champ, but I think I’ll see you boys tonight.”

“Well, I better scram if you’re seeing the boss man.”

“Very funny. I’ll see you later, Moonshine.” You waved the man off and made your way inside, scanning your own ID card on the entry doors and taking the elevator up to Champ’s office.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in. If it isn’t my favorite agent.” Champ drawled from his seat at the head of the conference table.

“Hey boss man, care to give me a ride to town so I can get my truck?” You asked, leaning up against the door jam and waving your keys. He laughed, standing up and grabbing his own keys from his desk.

“C’mon then, little lady. I did make you a promise. You can tell me all about why you’re here on the way over.”

_________________________________________________________________

Once you’d picked up your truck from the jail’s parking lot, you made your way to the bank. You hadn’t accounted for Jack taking as long as he was to sign the divorce papers, so you needed some cash for necessities.

Of course, the bank didn’t have an ATM. You cursed yourself for forgetting as you stepped inside. The bank guard’s eyes widened once he laid eyes on you, telling whoever it was in the teller’s booth that he was going to take a break outside. You winced once you remembered that this was the same man whose farm you and Jack and a few of your old friends had gone rolling pumpkins in year after year. He probably hated you.

You approached the teller, but didn’t recognize her. She clearly recognized you, though.

“Well, if it ain’t the queen of the New York Statesman office.” She grinned. You narrowed your eyes, attempting to figure out who she was when the lightbulb clicked.

“Jenny? Oh my god. I haven’t seen you since you and Tequila got hitched! You look amazing!”

“Thanks, sweetie! So do you. What can I do you for?”

“I need to make a withdrawal from my—“

“Joint account?” Jenny smiled like she knew something you didn’t, which knowing her, she probably did.

“My what?”

“Your joint account. With Jack? From what I hear, y’all are still married.”

“Why yes, yes we are.” You grinned, a plan already formulating in your mind.

_________________________________________________________________

It was after five when Jack got home, but you’d already got to work. You had on one of his favorite dresses that you’d found in a trunk somewhere, one of your homemade aprons, and a wide smile once he walked in the door.

“Hi, honey! Lookin’ good. How’s the family?” You grinned up at him, serving food onto two plates in the dining room.

“Cut the shit. Where’s my stuff?” Jack growled, chucking his hat on the couch along with his whip and lasso.

You smiled where he couldn’t see it, glad to see he’d noticed what you’d done to the place. There were new appliances in the kitchen, a new couch and loveseat, a flatscreen tv, a new rug, and Jack assumed you’d also done something to the bedroom. None of the things he’d had laying around since you left were where he could see it, and the sight agitated him.

“Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t pick up after my husband? Dinner’s ready in five.”

“The kind that don’t live here.” Jack groaned, hands raking over his face. “Now, I’m gonna ask you one more time—where is the house key?”

“I had the sweetest talk today with Tequila’s daddy.” You started as you ignored him.

“Nice to see you got your accent back.”

“Oh, I stumbled on a few things today.” You said, noticing Jack had gone to the kitchen, likely in search of a beer.

“Holy shit!” He shouted, and you stifled your laughter. “What happened to the stove?! And where are them little magnets I got from my travels, huh?” He opened the fridge and groaned.

“What the hell is this? Chick food?” He gestured to the fridge that you’d restocked with fresh fruits and vegetables, and new groceries that weren’t stale takeout containers.

“Light beer. Less calories, honey.” You smiled brightly, missing Jack’s murderous expression. He grabbed a can anyway and popped the top off.

“I tried to pick out a new bed today, but the mattress store only had old models. I’ll have to order something from New York.”

“Whatever floats your boat, honey.” Jack muttered, taking a deep swig of the beer you’d bought. He’d have to find his stash of whiskey and hope you hadn’t gotten rid of it.

“Oh, but darlin’, I thought you said we should think of it as our money.” You saw him freeze where he stood, and continued your crusade. “Just a guess, but I’m thinking the words ‘joint checking’ are flashing through your mind right now.”

“How much did you take?” He whirled around, effectively forcing you into the kitchen.

“All of it.” You replied simply, enjoying his facial expression.

“Son of a bitch!” He cursed, chucking the now empty beer can into the trash can and rubbing his face with his hands.

“You wanted a wife, you got a wife, honey,” you spat, “and what were you doing with all that cash? Why don’t you invest it? We work for a perfectly good company with shares for sale, don’t you know anything?”

“I know if you don’t get out of my house right now—”

“Sign the papers and I’ll give it all back.”

“Fine—fine!” He shouted, “gimme the pen.”

You rummaged in your packet for the pen and laid out the papers on the dinner table. You made to give him the pen, but thought better of it.

“Hold on. What are you doing with all that cash saved up? And since when did you tell Champ not to put you on anymore active missions? You aren’t doing anything illegal, are you Jack?”

“So what if I am? I don’t ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life.” He spat out, not making eye contact with you. You deflated.

“Who told you?” You asked quietly.

“Honey, just ‘cause I talk slow don’t mean I’m stupid.” He said in a much quieter tone. He almost sounded hurt.

“Look, Jack—” you trailed off.

“For god’s sake, nobody finds their soulmate at twelve years old.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, I guess,” you murmured.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jack almost smiled. Your eye caught something on the mantle and you looked up to see a horseshoe and a photo of your parent’s old farm.

“I can’t believe you kept that all these years,” you murmured, eyes trailing over the familiar old farm. It had burned down four years after that photo was taken, taking your parents’ lives with it. Jack looked at you before looking at the clock on the wall.

“Oh, hey sweetie, you know what? I just remembered I got myself a hot date.” Jack grinned maliciously, unbuttoning his collared shirt as he spoke. Your eyes moved from the picture to the skin being revealed and suddenly were at a loss for words. “You don’t mind if I have my lawyer take a look at these, do you?” He tossed the papers back on the table and left the room.

“What?!” You gasped.

“Hell, I’m just a dumb intelligence agent with no regards for the law. There’s words in there I don’t even know. You might be takin’ me to the cleaners for all I know.”

“The cleaners? You? You ain’t been there since our wedding, if you even washed your suit for that,” you scoffed. “Can’t you just sign the damn papers?”

“Nah,” he grinned from the doorway to his bedroom, “but thanks for stoppin’ bye. It’s been a real treat.” And then the door was slammed and you screamed into a newly-purchased throw pillow.

You’d realized after about ten minutes that Jack wasn’t coming back into the living room. In fact, his dramatic ass had jumped out the window and you heard his truck starting up outside.

Tequila had made an offer, though, and you planned to take up the social obligation. Besides, if Jack was as predictable as he’d always been, his “hot date” was probably at his mama’s bar where everyone in that little town went to unwind.

Your phone rang once you were outside the noisy bar near Jack’s truck, and you answered at once knowing it was your fiancé.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” You smiled into the phone and Rum’s happy voice spilled out.

“Are you sitting down?” Rum asked.

“Why? Bad news? Did the mission blow up or something?” You panicked. You knew putting this in Rum’s hands would only backfire if something happened.

“No, no! Nothing like that. I was just going to tell you that I read the mission reports and everything went exactly to plan just like you said it would. You might be up for another promotion, babe.” Rum reassured you.

“Oh my god, really? Oh, I needed that almost as much as I need to see you.”

“What is that noise?” Rum finally asked, and you assumed he could hear the loud music and shouts coming from inside the bar.

“The sound of my past.” You grimaced.

“Have fun. I love you.” Your fiancé finished, and you returned the sentiments before hanging up the phone and waltzing into the bar. You were immediately greeted by a screech and an older woman who was still spry was pulling you into a tight hug and yelling over the music.

“Batten down the hatches, boys! Trouble done just walked back into my life disguised as my favorite daughter-in-law!” Helen grinned at you. “Honey, gimme a hug, it’s been too long.”

You laughed while you hugged her and stepped back to show her your ring.

“Soon to be ex-daughter-in-law.” You stated proudly.

“Ooh, who’s the lucky guy?” She asked, inspecting the diamond on your finger.

“His name’s Blake and he works with me.” You winked, and she nodded in understanding. She knew about a little of the work you and her son did, but she mostly stayed out of it, claiming that the stress would bring her to an early grave.

“Well, he’s got my vote if he picked out a ring as pretty as that. It’s good to see you, baby girl.” Helen gave you a pat on the shoulder and told her bartender to give you whatever you wanted. You asked for a whiskey on the rocks and nearly laughed at the irony of the situation.

Once your drink was in hand, you scanned the room, looking for your husband. You spotted him in the corner with some young blonde thing and rolled your eyes. A quick march found you standing right behind Jack and you flipped the edge of his cowboy hat.

“Mind if I join you?” You asked sweetly, leaning up against the pool table beside him.

“Actually we do.” Jack said, raising an eyebrow. He was challenging you, but you ignored him in order to set your sights on his date.

“You must be Jack’s hot date.” You grinned at the girl and she put a hand out to shake yours.

“I’m Carly.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Jack’s snotty, Yankee-bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I’m engaged to another man.” You shook her hand, and the girl gasped once she saw your ring.

“Hot dog, Jack, look at the size of that thing!” She gushed. You nearly rolled your eyes at how dumb she was acting just in an attempt to impress your husband.

“Honey? Why don’t you get us a couple of drinks, yeah?” Jack turned to Carly and handed her a few bills. The girl smiled, popped her gum, and proceeded to ask you what you were having. You rolled your eyes then. “Not ‘me and her’ us, ‘you and I’ us.”

The girl agreed and scurried off, and then you turned to Jack.

“Why do you make me be mean to you? Is that what you want? To be humiliated in front of all your friends?” You snapped, frustrated that he was taking this so lightly. He shook his head and downed the rest of his own glass of whiskey.

“C’mon, Brandy, they were your friends too.” You heard Jack mutter, nodding towards a few agents who’d just walked over with their drinks. You recognized a few guys who’d been in the class behind you along with Moonshine. He nodded at you and ordered a beer before heading over to say hello.

“Alright, Brandy, you sit down while I teach your husband here how to lose at pool.” Moonshine grinned, pulling a bar stool over to you.

“Now Moonshine, I’m not really a watch and see kinda girl, am I Jack?” His expression was priceless as he took up the challenge.

At least six drinks later, you were definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol and you landed somewhere near Moonshine as he lined up his shot.

“Come on, now, Moony, you got it. Don’t blow this one, okay baby?” You drunkenly giggled and Moonshine laughed at your inebriated state.

“You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk, but you can’t take the honky-tonk out of the girl.” He missed the shot, but you didn’t care anymore, more focused on the conversation Jack was not-so-quietly having with Cognac? Coors? You couldn’t remember his codename, but it didn’t matter. Jack was talking about you.

“So, Whiskey, are you gonna divorce this girl or what?” The agent asked. Jack shook his head.

“She’s waited seven years. A couple more days won’t kill her. Unfortunately.”

“Like it’s gonna make a difference.” You snorted, nearly falling into his arms but stabilizing yourself at the last second.

“You never know,” the agent started, “you might be interested to know that Whiskey here has been—”

“Hey, hey, Cognac, let her think what she wants. She made her mind up about me a long time ago.” Jack cut him off, making you wonder just what it was that he didn’t want you knowing about.

You quickly forgot that thought, though, when Moonshine started yelling and telling Cognac he owed him fifty dollars. Cognac groaned, forking over the cash.

You didn’t really know what happened next, but you got into a shouting match with one of the other agents and eventually asked Helen for another round of drinks, but she quickly cut you off. Then you were shouting again as Jack dragged you out of the bar by your arm, yelling at you, saying that you couldn’t just insult everyone in the bar because you’d made it out of Kentucky but they were happy where they were.

“What makes you think you can treat them like somethin’ you stepped in, huh?!” Jack demanded as he put you right up next to his truck.

“You asked for it!” You yelled in his face, trying to get your keys out of your pocket. Jack quickly grabbed them.

“You show up here, you steal my money, you rearrange my house, and then you insult our friends, actin’ like you’re better than them.” Jack spat. He was angry and you knew it, but you couldn’t seem to stop.

“I am better than them! And you stole my keys!” You whined, wanting to be anywhere but here with your husband who was telling you that you were wrong. He was right, but you wouldn’t admit it.

“That’s all that matters to you, huh?” He asked in disbelief.

You tried to say his name, but he cut you off.

“God, ever since you left, this has been a nightmare. The money, the fancy office, the city, you’re pathetic!” He raked a hand through his mustache and you got lost in the action right before spitting out a comeback.

“Oh, like you’re goin’ places!” You groaned, a splitting headache appearing out of nowhere. “I certainly am once I get my keys back.”

“No, you don’t. No. You want to kill yourself driving, you do it somewhere else. But not here, not on my watch.” Jack said, putting your keys into his own pocket.

“At least I’m doing something with my life. So what if you and I aren’t partners anymore, you can still go on missions. You don’t have to worry about me anymore!”

“Get in the truck, Y/N.” Jack opened the door and guided you inside, defeated. His date was waiting by the door and you noticed them having a quiet conversation before he handed her your keys and made his way back to the truck.

You fell asleep before Jack even got on the two lane highway that led to the Statesman offices where he knew you’d been staying. Champ didn’t say anything when Whiskey carried you inside your temporary apartment, snoring away, but he wished things would work out between the two of you. His hopes were dashed as soon as Whiskey asked for a pen to sign the papers you’d brought with you.

When you woke up, still hungover from the night before, the divorce papers were stuck on top of the pillow beside you. You wished you could say you were happy about it, but you couldn’t deny that a pit was in the bottom of your stomach.

Once you rolled out of bed and had some coffee, the papers were sealed into an envelope and you drove to the post office to mail it out. You’d talk to Jack afterwards and apologize for your behavior.

When you got to the familiar farmhouse, you found Jack’s dog Midnight lounging at the base of the porch. You scratched his ears, and he whined happily at the attention he was receiving. The dog got up and raced up to Jack when he came out of the house with a crate.

“What’s she doing here, huh, boy?” He asked the dog before turning to face you, “Thought you’d have high-tailed it out of here by now.”

“I put the money back in your account.” You said quietly, searching his face for any emotion whatsoever.

“Thanks. Saves me from bouncing a lot of checks.” He smiled at you, a genuine smile, and it caught you off guard. “I like what you did, though, to the house. Should help it sell quicker.”

“You’re moving?” You were surprised. This was the house you and Jack had gotten and fixed up together in the early stages of your marriage and it held a lot of good memories along with quite a few bad ones.

“Well, I’ve been spending a lot of my time a bit south of the distillery, so . . .” he shrugged.

“Oh.”

“Look, hon, I signed your papers.” Jack sighed, finally hauling the crate into the back of his truck.

“Jack, I never meant to hurt you, or anybody else for that matter. And I just came out here to say thank you.” You finally said.

“You might want to move your toes.” Jack nodded towards where your feet were in reference to his truck tires. “Wouldn’t wanna run ‘em over since you need them for field work.”

“You can’t just leave!”

“Sure I can.” He chuckled, hopping into the cab. “You want to come?”

“Where you goin’?”

“I want to show you something.” Jack said solemnly, and you wished you could go. Something made you stop, though.

“I can’t.” You finally answered, defeated.

“Can’t or won’t?” Jack asked you, already knowing the answer but asking anyway.

“Both.”

“The girl I knew used to be fearless.” Jack leaned against the steering wheel to get a good look at you. You looked so much like the woman he’d once known so intimately, and yet so different. A lot had scarred you both and he recognized that.

“The girl you knew didn’t have a life.” You smiled weakly, fighting back tears.

“Well, I guess you better get back to living it then. C’mon, Midnight.” Jack got his dog in the cab with him and drove off, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

_________________________________________________________________

You didn’t know what possessed you to stay in town now that the papers had been signed and mailed out, but you found yourself in the town square that evening for the weekly square dance night.

“Hello.” You murmured sheepishly once you’d spotted Tequila and his wife, Jenny, and Moonshine, and a few of the agents from last night at the bar. “I just wanted to apologize to y’all. Last night was so uncalled for, and I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

“Brandy, forget it.” Tequila told you, a smile gracing his face. “You know we don’t stay mad for long.” The group nodded, and you smiled in relief.

Jenny pulled you to the side and handed you a glass of sweet tea.

“You know, he went up there.” She said, sort of secretively.

“Who?” You were confused about what she was talking about. But then she looked at you oddly and you suddenly knew. “Jack? When?”

“About a year after you left. He doesn’t know I know, but Aaron “big mouth” Tequila over there can’t keep a secret to save his life nowadays.”

“Jack was in New York?” You asked, completely surprised. You’d never seen him. He’d certainly never come to see you and say hello. Jenny nodded.

“He told Tequila he’d never seen anything like it. He realized straight off that he’d need more than an apology to win you back. He needed to conquer the world first. He’s been tryin’ ever since.” Jenny told you, downing her own tea.

“That’s why he kept sending the papers back.” You murmured, and Jenny nodded at you again.

“It’s funny how things don’t work out.” She sighed.

“It’s funny how they do.” You smiled warmly at her, knowing she was happy with her life and how it was turning out.

“Hey, look who I found wandering around the edge of the party.” Moonshine cheered, shoving Jack in the center of the group you were with. He had the nerve to look a bit sheepish, knowing you were there, but you were the one who blushed. After that, it was a whirlwind of everyone catching up on the times and you found yourself smiling at Jack.

The band finally started playing a slow song, and Tequila got up to ask you to dance, leaving his wife to drag Jack into the square. The both of you danced for awhile before Tequila stole his wife back, which left you and Jack standing face to face. Jack held out a hand to you to offer a dance, but you hesitated.

“Maybe we could just talk?” You asked him quietly. He shook his head and walked off, a sigh escaping your lips once you realized you were alone.

The night wore on with you on the sidelines, drinking sweet tea, and finally you made your way down the street towards your truck. Something stopped you, though, and you made your way into the coon dog cemetery on the edge of town. Maybe Coal was in there. You didn’t realize Jack had been watching you and finally ended up following you, and maybe you wouldn’t have been so honest in your talk with your old dog if you’d known.

You knelt beside the dog’s grave, his collar and your old license plate stuck to the stone placed above him.

“Hey there, buddy. Sorry it took me so long. I would’ve come sooner if I’d known you were sick.” You sniffed, fingers running along the etching of his name in the stone. “Actually, that’s probably not true. I’ve been pretty selfish lately. Dogs don’t know anything about that, do they, though?”

“You were always a big old pillow after missions. Like when everything went pear-shaped after I got shot, you never left my side. And then I just left you. Oh gosh. I bet you sat there on that big old porch, wondering what you done wrong.” You sobbed, wiping the tears away.

“I told him it was my fault.” Jack’s voice broke you out of your concentration and you whipped around to see him kneeling behind you.

“Quit bein’ so nice.” You sniffed, a small smile breaking through your tears. Jack offered you a hand to help you up and you accepted it. He led you to a bench right near Coal’s grave and kept holding your hand.

“It’s the truth.” Jack stated.

“How come everything has to be so complicated,” you asked tearfully. Jack smiled softly at you.

“What?” He asked finally.

“Truth, life, this,” you gestured between the two of you and towards the hand he was still holding in his grip. Jack didn’t answer that, not that you expected him to.

“He was one hell of a good dog, wasn’t he? You looked like you were having fun out there tonight before I got there and ruined it.” Jack mumbled. You brushed a thumb over your intertwined hands softly.

“I’m happy in New York, Jack.” You laughed wetly, “But then I come down here and this fits too.”

“Since when does it have to be one or the other, darlin’? You can have roots and wings, you know.” Jack told you. You nodded.

“Maybe I could just fly south for the winter.” You joked miserably.

Jack finally pointed out towards the woods and nudged your shoulder, “Look.”

“What?” You asked.

“There, see ‘em?” You followed his pointing finger until you realized that he was pointing at fireflies illuminating sections of the woods with their blinking behinds.

“Only you,” you laughed fondly, looking up at him. You couldn’t deny it, Jack was still just as handsome as the day you married him even if the years had gone by.

“You know, I still go out there sometimes. To the meadow, I mean. I hear the crickets and I go and sit in the field and stare up at the stars like we used to. It’s like a religion.” Jack revealed, turning to look down at you to gauge your response.

“I had a dream about it the other night, our first kiss when we were twelve. Remember that?”

“You ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t gotten shot and died on that mission?” Jack asked bluntly. You were surprised and whispered his name.

“Just, let me get this out before I can’t.” Jack started, “I thought us working together on missions would be an adventure. I loved seeing you be this beautiful badass and I loved being the one who got to love you. And it took me awhile to realize that being tied down to me would be your only adventure.”

“I guess that thug knew what he was doing then, aiming at me. I was so ashamed, Jack, ‘cause I felt so relieved once I woke up and remembered everything. And all of a sudden, I just . . . Needed a different life. Y’know? I had to get away.” You were almost frantic in your story, the painful memories resurfacing of how you just ran away from your husband with no explanation. Gosh, the number you did on him.

“You done real well for yourself. I’m proud of you, sugar.” Jack told you sincerely, fingers brushing your hair away from your wet cheeks. “I’m just sorry I never danced with you at our weddin’. I’m sure this next one’s gonna go better for ya.”

You looked up and suddenly your lips were on his and it felt like you were breathing real air for the first time since you left his home and abandoned him. It felt good, his lips brushing yours in just the right ways, but you couldn’t do this.

“Jack, I can’t do this.” You whimpered through your tears. He nodded.

“I know. Go home, Brandy.”

And just like he’d appeared, Jack disappeared in the dark, leaving you alone with your conflicted emotions.

_________________________________________________________________

The next morning found Jack entering the Statesman offices as a man on a mission. But he found an unfamiliar man with flowers in hand, pacing in the lobby.

“Y’alright there?” He asked. The man whipped his head up and sighed.

“I’m here to surprise my fiancée. The secretary won’t let me in because I don’t have a Kentucky Statesman badge, only a New York one.”

Jack quickly realized the situation, knowing immediately that the man was there to see you without needing to be introduced. He also knew that you were probably in Champ’s office, talking smack about missions like you used to do.

“Well, I’m headed upstairs to see a friend of mine, but you’re welcome to join.” Jack motioned to the elevator, and your fiancé quickly nodded and followed him inside the cab. Jack rolled his eyes at the guy’s eagerness.

“So, fiancée huh? Which one of our lucky agents is it?” Jack drawled, knowing full well who this man meant.

“Agent Brandy.” The man answered, “and you are?”

“I’m Agent Whiskey. Who might you be?” Jack smirked.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Agent Rum.” Rum laughed sheepishly. He was quite a bit smaller than Jack and had to look upwards to make eye contact.

“Ah, so you’re the man Brandy was talking about.” Jack couldn’t help but meddle a little in his ex-wife’s affairs.

“You know Brandy?” Rum asked, surprised.

“Course I know her. I know all about her.” Jack grinned down at the man, “I know her name, her whole life story, everything. She was my partner.”

“She never mentioned you.” Rum stammered. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same girl?”

Jack described you, and Rum nodded, but that description would match a few agents and Rum wasn’t sure Jack really knew who you were. Joke’s on him.

Moonshine got in the elevator and froze once he saw Jack with your fiancé. He’d looked Rum up as soon as you’d mentioned him, and the look Jack had on his face was downright scary to someone who knew him. It was like a lion playing with its prey.

“Uh, uh, hey Whiskey.” Moonshine stuttered.

“Morning,” Jack smiled. “Brandy here?”

Moonshine nodded.

“Yeah, yeah she’s here. She’s with big daddy.”

“Wonderful. I’m just escorting her fiancé here up to meet him.” Jack nodded towards Rum who waved a hand. Jack couldn’t figure out how this man got to be an agent, all timid and shy next to Southern guys. He seemed like a schmuck.

“Oh, that’s great.” Moonshine nodded emphatically.

“I’m sorry, you are?” Rum asked, in reference to Moonshine.

“Name’s Moonshine. I’m Brandy’s, uh—” her turned to look at Jack to figure out what to say.

“Her other partner.” Jack finished. Rum smiled at the two.

“Wow! Two partners while she was here. That’s something.”

Jack rolled his eyes behind the man’s back.

“So what do you like about our Brandy?” Jack finally asked him, directing the both of them to exit the elevator. Champ’s office was just down the way, but Jack wasn’t ready to leave this man with you yet.

Rum spouted off a lot of things that Jack knew you weren’t like whenever y’all were married and he quickly realized that the woman you were with this new guy wasn’t anything like the woman he married. The woman he’d seen in the last few days. This was a woman who had completely changed herself to fit New York, and that just made Jack’s stomach churn.

Finally, he pulled Rum over to Champ’s door and he threw open the doors. You were sat inside, alone, staring at a few photos on the wall before you looked up and made eye contact with your ex-husband. You stood quickly, walking over to the two men standing before you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, looking at Jack.

“Well, I came to deliver your fiancé.” Jack stared at you real hard.

“I, uh, think she was talking to me.” Rum cut in, handing you the bouquet of flowers he’d been holding.

“Jack . . .” You trailed off.

“Must be exhaustin’.” Jack started.

“What?” you asked softly. Rum echoed the question beside you, finally realizing that you and Jack were talking to each other in a way that wasn’t normal to him.

“Livin’ a lie.” Jack finished, hand shoving his hat further on his head. You shook.

“What’s he talking about?” Rum asked you, and you looked back at Jack, pleading for him to be kind.

“You and I are in love with two different people.” Jack said with a shake of his head as he left the room.

“Who is he really? He said he was your partner.” Rum asked you, staring after Jack’s retreating figure.

“He’s my husband.” You answered.

“Your what?” Rum was dumbfounded.

“I mean my ex-husband.” You gasped, correcting yourself.

“You married your partner?!” Rum was running his hands through his hair, trying to wrap his mind around the situation and realizing just how little he knew about you. Had you up and married another man while you were down here? Were you married before? You interrupted his thoughts with a quiet answer.

“No, I came down here to finalize my divorce.” You sighed.

“Hey darlin’,” Champ burst into the room, “just saw your precious hubby and took his resignation.” He froze once he saw who was with you. “Oh! You must be my baby girl’s new someone!”

You groaned internally.

Rum threw up his hands and made some new noise you’d never heard before then promptly left the room. You scurried after him, trying to get his attention.

“Blake! Wait!”

“I just—” Andrew started as he pressed the button on the outside of the elevator.

“Let me try and explain, you don’t understand!” You tried to wedge your way between him and the door, but he easily slid past you. You slammed your arm against the side of the sliding doors to keep them from closing. “This isn’t who I am anymore!”

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what else you’ve lied about, but I do know one thing. There’s a helicopter parked outside in the field, and I am on it.” Rum’s face was stony as the doors closed.

You stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, trying to grasp the situation. A sigh escaped your lips before you made your way back to Champ’s office to slump down in a chair.

Champ was sitting at his desk, Statesman glasses perched on his nose and a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. He looked up right as you made eye contact and gave you his signature “I told you so” look. You groaned.

“I know you’re thinkin’ I spoiled things real good this time.” You grumbled, chucking your hat on the table.

“Now, sweetheart, don’t go accusin’ me of thinking. I ain’t done anything of the sort.” Champ snorted. “Anyway, I don’t think you spoiled what you think you did. You got a good head on your shoulders kid, and I love you.”

You talked for awhile, catching up on life and missions and things you hadn’t spoken of in years when a knock sounded on the open door of Champ’s office. Champ nodded whoever it was inside, but you didn’t even look up until Champ looked at you with a knowing smile.

“Hey, you two. Look who I found wandering around by the weapons labs.” Moonshine nudged someone forward and you finally looked up. Agent Rum, your fiancé, was in front of you with the sorriest look you’d ever seen on his face.

“I thought you’d be halfway to New York by now.” You said slowly, not sure why he was still here. Your little interlude an hour before sounded like a breakup if you’d ever heard one. You stood up and moved to stand beside Champ, knowing he’d back you up if needed.

“So did I.” Rum smiled sheepishly, nodding toward Champ.

“Oh, this is Agent Champagne, but we call him Champ. He’s basically been my daddy since I started here.” Champ reached up squeezed your hand in reassurance and you moved closer to Rum. “And this is Moonshine. He’s been my best friend for a long time, well, as long as I’ve been good to him. He’s always been a better man. This is where I started, where I grew up, and my home.”

“Well,” Rum started, “it’s nice to meet you both. I’m Agent Rum, Brandy’s fiancé. That is, if she’ll still have me.” You looked at him in surprise. “ Look, I don’t really care what just happened back there. So you have a past. I mean, who doesn’t? We’re all trying to escape something in this life. What I need to know is if there is a place for me in your future.”

“Good Lord, he’s saying all sorts of sweet things.” Moonshine muttered and you laughed at him.

“Well?” Rum asked. You nodded with a small smile.

“Crap, guess I need to plan my vacation days to go to New York then.” Champ grumbled at his desk.

“What vacation days, old man?” You sassed Champ. You turned back to Rum, “Babe, what if we had the wedding here? I have so much history here, I’d like to end it all here and start fresh with you.”

Rum smiled and agreed and Champ started hollering about how he couldn’t believe you were going to do this to him again, how he’d have to officiate yet another wedding, and how many times does his only daughter get married? Apparently the answer was twice.

_________________________________________________________________

A month went by before you knew it, full of missions and planning and setting up temporary groups while you’d be on your honeymoon. In between all you had to do in the Statesman offices, you were also wedding planning. Luckily, you had Champ and his wife to help with all that along with AppleJack and your assistant.

Mr. Collier, your lawyer, had been calling nearly every day, but you’d assured him that you had everything handled and that he could clear the divorce without you. You’d been calling Jack a lot too. You wanted to talk to him about what Champ meant when he said Jack had retired, and why no one seemed to want to talk about what he was doing. But he never answered his cell and your old home phone seemed to be disconnected.

It still didn’t feel real that you’d be getting married on Saturday afternoon as you stepped off your Statesman jet at the airfield in Kentucky on Thursday with Agent AppleJack and your assistant—now newly minted Agent Smirnoff.

“You guys remember that mark from a year ago on that mission I was on for about three months, right? The Spanish one?” AppleJack was telling you. You nodded, remembering who she was talking about. He’d been rugged and good looking, and you’d told her as much when you handed her the mission. “Well, he proposed to me, and I think I loved him despite his obvious attraction to black market trading.”

“Then why didn’t you say yes?” Smirnoff asked.

“Because I hesitated long enough to realize my head and my heart were saying two different things. And he was on the other side of the legal fence.” AppleJack scoffed.

You guided the two of them towards your waiting truck and chucked your bags in the bed of it. Theirs followed as they argued.

“Well, it’s a big decision.” You added in.

“It’s supposed to be the easiest one you ever make.” Smirnoff said. You’d always thought he was a romantic, and now you were sure of it.

“Hey, y’all, I want to stop somewhere before we head to the office. Okay?” You turned to look at the two of them, and they shrugged before agreeing. It wasn’t like y’all had much to do today anyway. Champ had already assured you that the cellar was decorated and pretty for you and Rum to tie the knot, and that he’d already arranged everything for your honeymoon too.

You drove the forty-five minutes it took to get to your parents’ old farmhouse where you used to live before it had burned down, taking both your parents with it when you were nineteen. You hadn’t been there since a few days after the fire when you’d set up headstones for your parents on the property, but you wanted to tell them what was going on.

The driveway was long, but you were surprised to see how well kept it was. Then the house came into view along with Jack’s pickup truck and a familiar black dog lounging on the steps. You slammed on the brakes and parked right off the driveway, jumping out of the vehicle.

“Oh my god.” You gasped, looking at the place. It looked nearly identical to the house that burnt down, but there was a new barn in the back of the house and fence posts as far as you could see down the drive that kept going. Your dad had never cleared that far into the woods, but it looked good. It looked like a really successful ranch had been started right where so much devastation had taken place.

“Brandy, do we know the people who live here?” AppleJack asked, finally catching up to your quick walk towards the house. “What is this place?”

A man walked out of the house and froze once he saw you, and you hardly heard both AppleJack and Smirnoff arguing about if he was single.

“Jack,” you breathed. He stepped down off the porch and came over to you, greeting you with a sad smile. “I tried to call you a couple of times.”

“Listen,” he started, completely ignoring your previous statement, “since you’re here, you and your friends should look around. Say hello to the horses in the barn or something. It’s nice out today.” He tipped his hat towards your two companions and called his dog, making his way back into the house before you could say anything else.

You shook your head, trying to clear your eyes of the tears that had somehow started filling them. As you looked around the ranch, you saw all the little things that Jack had done, as well as the big, that made this place feel so much like home. It was almost exactly the way it had been when you lived there so long ago, and you were reminded of the photo Jack had on your old mantel. You’d asked him why he kept it, but he hadn’t answered then. And the times when the guys you used to work with were trying to tell you that Jack was successful now, but Jack had cut them off. Now you knew why. He’d built this place for you.

_________________________________________________________________

When you got to the Kentucky office, Champ was waiting for you downstairs.

“Hey, little darling, there was a man here for you. He straight up asked about your whole name and everything. Did you have a guest coming for the wedding we didn’t know about who’d know your civilian name?” He asked. Your brow furrowed as you shook your head. “Alright, well we sent him on his way, anyhow. I’m sure it’s fine.”

You introduced him to your two companions and Champ grinned, happy to meet two people you trusted with your life. You asked him if Rum was here yet, to which Champ nodded and guided you all inside. “Got here about two hours before you, sweetheart.”

Once you were inside, it seemed like a whirlwind of things happened as you readied yourself to get married for a second time. The next 36 hours were hell, waiting for everything to be finalized so you could get hitched.

It was Saturday morning and Champ had stationed two low ranking agents to man the guests as they filtered into the cellar where you’d be holding the wedding. So far, only agents were to be in attendance and a few plus ones, but you’d wanted to keep it small. So when a balding man appeared and introduced himself as Mr. Collier, telling the two agents that he wasn’t on the list, they promptly told him that he couldn’t come inside as he wasn’t invited. The man insisted he had urgent business with a Ms. Daniels, but the agents weren’t having it and escorted him out of the cellar.

Meanwhile, at your old house, the one you had shared with Jack, your ex-husband was adding the last few crates and boxes of his and your things to his truck. He groaned once he saw his mama leaning up against her car in the driveway since he hadn’t seen her pull up.

“Hey, sweetheart, there’s a wedding goin’ on.” She said softly, helping him throw a gym bag into the backseat of his truck.

“Yeah, I heard mention of it a time or two.” Jack shrugged, “I sure hope this weather cooperates. It’s supposed to be a big storm.” He didn’t want to give into his mama and tell her how he really felt about all this.

The truth was, Jack was devastated. He’d spent so much time trying to get his wife back, and now she was marrying a man he knew she didn’t love as much as she loved him, and it hurt. It felt like something had died inside his chest, and he supposed something did. His heart.

“You know, Jack, you’re my only son and I love you, but sometimes you are too much like your daddy.” Helen sighed.

“She made her decision, Mama.” Jack set the last box in the bed of the truck and covered them up with tarps to keep ‘em dry.

“For somebody who’s been holdin’ onto somethin’ so hard, you’re pretty quick to let it go.” Helen eyed him.

“You know I can’t control her anymore than I can control the weather. I gotta go. I wanna get these inside before the rain ruins whatever I’ve got left.” Jack tipped his hat at his mama and climbed inside the cab. Helen shook her head in disappointment.

Champ stood in the corner of the apartment you’d been occupying in the Statesman office that weekend, watching you adjust your dress and cowboy boots. He smirked once he realized you’d be getting married, Southern style with the boots and a dress that he swore he’d seen in one of those fancy Southern Living magazines his wife was always reading. Or was it Southern Weddings? He didn’t know, but you looked beautiful. Even more so than the first time he’d officiated your wedding to Jack.

You kept fidgeting, causing Champ to speak up.

“It’s just nerves. You’re doing the right thing.” He attempted to reassure you.

“Am I?” You asked, unsure.

“When I married my wife, Lord, I was a goner for that woman. I couldn’t put one foot down in front of the other, despite being an agent with perfect balance, mind you. I remember standin’ there thinking, ‘Oh preacher, better hurry up before this woman changes her mind.’ And look where it got me. Sometimes she drives me so crazy that I could shoot her, but—”

“But you still love her.” You cut him off.

“God knows I do, and only she knows why.” Champ laughed, his eyes teary as he looked you over.

“Champ, I think I—”

“He can give you a life in this company, honey. You’ve always wanted this. And he adores you.” Champ said firmly, not letting you get back on the confusion train.

“He does, doesn’t he?” You sighed, “Well, even if he is a Yankee, at least he’s sober. Let’s go, Champ. I’m ready to get this over with.”

Champ led you down to the cellars, and then down the aisle. He didn’t get you two very far, though, when a man’s shouts were heard yelling “Ms. Daniels! Ms. Daniels!”

You whipped around, confused about why someone would be calling you by your married name. “Mr. Collier?” You asked in surprise. The two agents supposed to be manning the door had grabbed him by now, but you were quick to dismiss them.

Rum called your name, but you held up a hand to stop him from speaking. You didn’t know why Mr. Collier was here, but it had to be important if he was trying this hard to get in contact with you. The man took a moment to catch his breath.

“You are one hard woman to get in contact with.” Mr. Collier wheezed as he bent over to breathe.

“Mr. Collier, he signed the papers.” You said quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“He did. You didn’t.” You finally noticed the papers he was holding and sucked in a breath.

“What? You mean I’m still married?” You asked, unsure how you felt about this new information. You thought for sure you’d signed the papers when you’d sent them off the day after Jack had signed them. Apparently, you hadn’t. Mr. Collier pointed at the line above Jack’s name, and sure enough, it was blank.

“Well, not if you don’t want to be.” Mr. Collier replied gently as he handed over the papers.

“For goodness sake, Brandy, I thought you took care of this?” Rum groaned as he made his way to stand in the aisle beside you.

“It’s an honest mistake, Blake.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“Well, then, can we fix it? We’ve got agents who need to be on missions soon and we have a honeymoon to get to.” Rum snorted. Your brows furrowed as you watched this normally kind man getting frustrated over a mistake you hadn’t even realized you made.

“Does anybody have a non-deadly pen?” You asked, knowing no one would have one on them unless it had ten functions to kill someone and not one of them being the purpose of a real pen with ink that would actually stay on the paper. You’d made the mistake before of signing something with ink that removed itself within two hours and you didn’t want to make that mistake again.

No one around you had one, not even Champ, until a woman behind you cleared her throat. You turned around to face your mother in law, Jack’s mom.

“These things don’t just happen, y’know.” Helen said with a knowing smile as she held out a fountain pen. You took it and uncapped it, placing it on the paper but not moving to sign it.

“You can’t ride two horse with one ass, sweetheart.” Champ said from beside you. You looked up at him and with a watery smile, you told him you couldn’t sign the papers.

“Blake,” you started, taking his hands in yours, “You don’t want to marry me.”

“I don’t?” He asked, eyes almost looking dangerous.

“No, you don’t. Not really. You see, the truth is—” You hesitated before continuing. “I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back. And I don’t even know what else to say besides ‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t marry you, and you shouldn’t want to marry me.”

“So this is what it feels like.” Blake muttered, eyes definitely glittering with anger now. “You can’t just do this to me. That’s it? You’re just going to leave me for the man you haven’t even wanted to be married to for seven years? God, Brandy, what the hell!” He shouted.

You took a step back, attempting to make space and remove your hands from his, but he held your hands tightly. You gulped, knowing Blake wasn’t done.

“In my entire career, and I have a good one, I have never met someone so deceitful and manipulative! I should’ve known, considering our occupations, but this is so disgusting what you’ve done.” Blake spat.

“I’m just trying to be honest.” You whispered.

“You are such a little bitch.” Blake roughly dropped your hands and Champ immediately stepped in, crowding the shorter agent.

“Now, look here, Agent Rum. She said her piece and there’s no need for name-callin’, you hear me?” Champ growled.

“Oh go back to your office and get shit-faced.” Blake spat at Champ’s feet. You saw red.

“Nobody talks to my daddy like that.” You growled, throwing one of your best punches. Agent Rum was soon on the ground and you chucked your engagement ring at his head. It hit his cheek and bounced off somewhere, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Praise the Lord, my baby’s back.” Champ cheered, pulling you away from your ex-fiancé.

“Hey y’all!” You shouted as you stood up on an empty chair in the venue, “If you’re friends of the bride, stick around! I’m gonna go find me a groom!”

And then you were off, grabbing your keys from Moonshine and hopping in your truck, wedding dress getting stuck in the door. You didn’t care, though. You knew exactly where Jack would be and you planned to go get your man back.

You roared into the meadow, truck chassis bumping around on the uneven ground. The door was flung open and you were racing across the field, dress bunched in your hands. Rain had started falling, and Jack was sitting in the bed of his truck getting sopping wet. He had a bottle of whiskey in his hands, but he hadn’t quite noticed you yet.

“Hey, cowboy!” You shouted above the rain and he whipped around to face you, eyes wide beneath the brim of his hat. Rain dripped off the edges and you almost laughed at how bedraggled he looked, but refrained. “You owe me a dance.”

“Nice dress. Where’s your husband?” Jack finally said as he capped the whiskey bottle and set it down beside him in the truck bed.

“I’m lookin’ at him.” You said, and Jack froze. “Apparently, you and I are still hitched.”

“Is that right?” He asked slowly as he got off the tailgate. He made his way over to stand in front of you, rain still pouring over the both of you to the point where you could only really see him anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell me you came to New York?” You asked desperately, needing to know if he still wanted you, if he still loved you.

“I needed to make somethin’ of myself.”

“About done?” You asked in disbelief. This man was already enough for you, how could he not see it?

“What is it about you Southern girls? You can’t make the right decisions ‘til you tried all the wrong ones?” Jack scoffed. He was sure this was some elaborate joke, that your fiancé would hop out of your pickup truck and laugh at him any minute now.

“At least I fight for what I want!”

“Oh, what do you want, honey? Hell, I don’t even think you know.” Jack shook his head.

“You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jack, and I want you to be the last.” You said as you stepped closer to him, dress dragging in the grass and dirt. You didn’t even care, not if it meant you could get your husband back.

“Maybe you and I had our chance.” Jack muttered, hoping you couldn’t hear him, but you did.

“Fine! Have it your way, stubborn ass!” You yelled.

“Whatcha wanna be married to me for anyhow?” Jack asked, repeating what you’d asked him all those years ago when you were twelve. You grinned, catching up to his game.

“So I can kiss you anytime I want.”

And then you were in his arms and he was kissing you, his hat dumping water on the both of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were already soaked. You’d gotten your man back, and you sighed into his mouth. You didn’t want to move again, the feeling of his kiss bringing life back into your lungs and giving you space to breathe for the first time in a long time. He just felt right. Hands wandered up his back and you knocked off his hat in an effort to get even closer to him. He groaned when fingers locked into his now soaked hair, tongue slipping into your mouth when you whined.

You only broke away when you heard someone yelling at the both of you, lights shining right onto your interlocking figures.

“What the hell are you two trying to do? Get yourselves killed?” Tequila yelled. You laughed, breaking away from Jack just long enough to shout back.

“What seems to be the trouble, officer?”

“I’m here to bring you in again, little lady!” Tequila called back, hands on his hips and looking downright hilarious.

“What did she do this time?” Jack shouted. He walked you both closer to Tequila and the man had the audacity to grin at the two of you.

“Well, the way I hear it, seems she run out on a perfectly good cake!”

You laughed and smooched Jack on the cheek before reaching down to grab his hat from the ground.

“Get in my truck, cowboy!” You grinned, “Seems we finally get our reception!”

You raced your husband to your truck, hopping in and laughing at the way you both shivered from the cool air you’d had blasting. Jack swore and turned on the heat as you got yourselves out of the meadow and started following the red and blue flashing lights of Tequila’s patrol car.

You reached a hand over to hold Jack’s and he lifted your fingers to his lips to press a kiss to the knuckles.

“I love you.” He murmured and you returned the sentiments, happy for the first time in a long time.

Tequila led you to the bar Helen owned, and you laughed once you realized where the guys had decided to hold your reception. It was only fitting that the place where you’d originally hosted your first reception was now the place of your second, and with the same man no less.

Tequila made his way indoors first and introduced you, yelling out a “Ladies and gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. Jack Daniels!”

You rushed inside, nearly tripping over your boots and dress, but Jack steadied you, dipping you for a deep kiss just inside the door.

Catcalls filled the air as Jack lifted you back up, a boyish grin gracing his lips.

“I do believe I owe this lady a dance,” Jack nodded at his Mama by the jukebox and she smiled at the two of you.

“You sure do!” Moonshine shouted.

“Hey Helen,” you turned to Jack’s mama, “make it a slow one.”

She saluted you, and then hit a button, playing Tennessee Whiskey. Jack snorted at the song choice as he held your waist in the middle of the space they’d cleared for a dance floor, but you didn’t mind. You’d always joked that the song was about him with his Statesman name, and he hated it. You loved him, though.

You had your husband back and you weren’t ever going to give him up again. You swayed to the song for a moment before leaning up to kiss him. Finally, you were home.

#jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x female reader #agent whiskey x female reader #jack daniels #agent whiskey #statesman #sweet home alabama #kingsman the golden circle #kingsman #jack ‘whiskey’ daniels #mandoclan #mandoclan writes

[sunflowergirl522]

Runaway: That Was Easy

Pairing: Tiefling!Bucky x Elf!Reader

Summary: Bucky takes a lot of jobs to make a living and this one was no different. Except for the fact that it’s for an elf prince and elves tend to avoid him in general. He accepts and with Sam and Steve they start their journey to find the elf prince’s runaway bride.

Word count: 2443

Warnings: Language

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Someone’s looking for you!” Sif announces as she rushes into the dwarves' cottage. The door slams into the table behind it from the force of her opening it. She’s quick to slam it shut behind her and lock it.

“What?” Before she had barged in you had been eating and laughing with Thor, Volstagg, and Brunnhilde. Thor was just finishing up a dwarf drinking song while Volstagg got himself more beer and Brunnhilde was throwing wise cracks at how bad Thor sounded. Sif’s words though were enough to make the four of you stop and turn your heads to her in confusion.

“I just ran into a halfling at La Luna, he said that he and his friends are looking for an elf princess and I haven’t seen any other elf princesses lately.” Sif comes to the table and starts to unpack the food she had brought home with her and putting some off to the side to pack up for you.

“Did he say why?” You stand up not sure how to react to the news that people are looking for you and in the process stop Volstagg from overfilling his mug, taking the pitcher from him.

“No but his friends were talking to the bartender and you know how loose his lips can be with the right price.” 

“They could be right behind you.” Volstagg’s chair topples to the ground in his rush to stand up. Sif just nods at him in response. It doesn’t make sense, why would somebody be looking for you? You were sure that you hadn’t made any enemies in all your years, and the moon elves have no quarrel with anyone, they just live in peace in their kingdom, it was rare for any of them to even leave.

“Milady, you should leave. We can cover for you, tell them you were never here.” Thor looks at you as he starts to help Volstagg pack you up food and supplies.

“They could be dangerous, I can’t just leave you all to lie for me! If anything were to happen to any of you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” The dwarves were some of your closest friends, you had met them years ago while you were out and about and make a point to visit them every time you decide to go on another adventure.

“We’ll be fine Y/n. You must go especially in case they’re dangerous.” Brunnhilde throws more things in the pack as she speaks and you recognize some of it to be the new clothes that she had gone into town to get you yesterday. You didn’t come to them with much, just the clothes on your back and a couple daggers. Your dwarf friends are kind though and along with packing you the clothes and food they get some axes ready to send you off with. Thor comes over and hands you your cloak and the pack while Sif situates the axe holder on your back.

“Tell the others I said goodbye?” Thor just nods at you before leading you to the back door.

“Farewell sweet maiden!” Volstagg yells out to you and you can’t help but smile at it through all the worry.

“Take care of yourself princess, I hope our paths cross again.”

“You as well Thor. I’m sure we’ll all see eachother again soon, I might come back after I take care of whatever is going on.” You kiss his forehead before starting to head out. “Thank you all for everything!” You call out over your shoulder before tossing your hood up and walking into the woods.

 As you start to climb up a tree you think about how you can’t wait to change into your new clothes and get out of your dress. Climbing can be such a hassle when the bottom of a dress snags on the bark and branches. Once high enough you begin to travel from branch to branch back to the front of the cottage. You choose one that’s close enough to see the door but high enough and far enough away that no one should be able to spot you if they were looking in the trees. You weren’t going to leave them to deal with it on their own but you also weren’t going to interfere unless the strangers began to threaten your friends. You sit and lean back onto the tree trunk and wait for the strangers to arrive. And then, after waiting a short while, you hear them before you see them.

“Maybe they’ll have some food we can have.”

“Is that all you think about?” 

“Only when somebody doesn’t let me eat before dragging me out of town and then doesn’t even let me have a snack out of the food pack.” 

You can see the three characters as they approach the cottage from your hiding spot. These must be the people Sif was talking about you think to yourself as you spot the halfling. You sit up straight as they knock on the door, staying alert while Brunnhilde opens it up. The human and the hooded one speak to her for a little bit before the halfling asks her something, causing her to turn around to say something to someone inside. The hooded one looks down at him in what you can only assume is a glare. You bring your hand up to your mouth to help hold in the laugh that threatens to escape as Volstagg brings out a basket of food and hands it to the halfling. The joy you feel from that is short lived though because the hooded one barges into their home. You get into a crouched position ready to jump down to help if needed and watch the other two stay outside politely and you’re pretty sure the human apologizes, though lip reading was never your forte.

You let out a breath as the hooded one comes back out packing something away. They walk straight back into the woods without saying anything to their friends. The halfling is quick to follow him while shoving food in his face and the human stays back for a minute to say something to Brunnhilde and Volstagg before following as well. You follow them from above to see if you can find out anything about them or why they’re looking for you after debating on if you should do that or see if everything is alright with the dwarves. 

“Why are you always so rude? This is why everyone tends to hate you.” The halfling must’ve caused something to snap in his friends because he stops in his tracks before turning towards him real quick.

“Everyone hates me before I even open my mouth to talk! Something you wouldn’t understand, you were lucky enough to be born a joyful trusting little halfling!” His hood comes off as he speaks and your eyes go wide as a handsome blue tiefling is revealed. You catch yourself leaning over the branch to try to get a better look at his face. If he wasn’t so rude to your friends you might’ve even had the urge to run your fingers through his dark shoulder length hair.

“Alright you two, all that matters is that we don’t hate you. Now what did you take from the dwarves?” The human steps between the two men and the tiefling seems to calm down a bit at the distraction of the question. 

“The Princess was definitely there. I found her crown, they tried to claim that she had traded it for supplies but I know enough about princes and princesses that they don’t just trade away their crowns.” He pulls your crown out of his bag and holds it out to his friends on a hooked finger. 

You gasp and your hand flies up to your head to feel for it, even though you can see it. How could you have been so stupid as to leave without it? Of course he knows you were there, crowns are sacred belongings, especially for moon elves. You had crafted it yourself and picked the moonstone that had called out to you. 

“My plan is to loop around the cottage, see if there’s a back exit, then figure out which way she went.” As he leads his friends off of the main path you start to panic a little. You don’t want them to start anything with the clan or bother them anymore than they already have. You might as well interfere now if you plan to later. So without thinking about it anymore you make your next moves. 

A dagger flies through the air, just barely missing Bucky, and lodges itself in a tree behind him. He jumps back and grabs one of his long swords from a sheath on his back readying himself for a fight. Steve takes hold of his bow and reaches back to grab an arrow to ready one to shoot. And Sam, he lets out a yelp and jumps behind Steve’s legs out of, what he’ll call later, shock. A cloaked figure jumps down from the trees, landing in front of them. Their hood is up, hiding them from the sight of the trio. 

“Who are you and why are you looking for the Princess?” Their voice gives away that they’re female but it has a hardness to it that shows that she means business. They point an ace at the trio standing in a threatening stance. 

“Why is that any of your business?” Bucky gets into a semi crouched position and takes a step forward. 

“I asked you first tiefling.” Bucky snarls at the figure just itching for a fight to start. “You answer my questions and I’ll return the favor. It’s how these things work.” Steve steps in front of Bucky to put something between the two of you and holds his hands up in a way to help prevent a fight from happening at all. 

“Let’s all calm down now, there’s no need for anyone to get hurt when we could talk like civilized people.”

“Names, now.” 

“I’m Steve, this here is Bucky, and that’s Sam.” He points over his shoulder to their halfling friend. 

“Why are you looking for the princess, Steve?”

“We were hired to find her. Are you looking for her too?” 

“You could say that.” 

“Uh, Steve, did the prince say anything about hiring anyone else when he came looking for us?” Sam scratches his head in confusion as he asks and takes a step forward. 

“Prince?” And just like that the cold demanding nature of your voice melts away to a more soft concerned one. The question goes unnoticed by Steve and Sam but Bucky hears it. It peaks his curiosity and he tilts his head to the side while squinting and trying to make out the shadow beneath the hood. 

“He didn’t say anything about hiring anyone else but he did seem like he was desperate enough to have.” 

“Woah, hold on. What prince?” The confusion in your voice confuses Steve immensely. Who else would have hired you to find the princess.

“Oh you know, sun elf, doesn’t know jack shit about the princess, pretty damned arrogant bastard if you ask me.” 

You look down at the ground to wrap your head around the situation. Why would he send a fucking search party for you? You left him a note telling him you didn’t want to fucking marry him. Hell you hadn’t even properly met him yet and you knew he was a prick. Maybe sneaking out wasn’t the best way to go about it but his guards would’ve for sure stopped you from leaving. You take a deep breath before letting out an annoyed and angry shriek and throwing the axe at a tree close to you. 

“That self entitled, spoiled, dandelion eating, scorpion prick!” Your voice drops the veil of being threatening and returns to its normal sound as you curse his name. 

Bucky smirks at the fact that someone else has the same opinion of the prince as he does. When he looks over to Steve and Sam he’s ready to tell them he told them so about the prince but their shocked expressions stops him. And as Sam lets out a little ‘woah’ he turns back to you just to find that as you pulled the axe from the tree your hood had fallen off, revealing yourself to them. 

“You’re the princess.” You blow a strand of hair out of your face as you slide the axe back into its spot on your back before looking back at the group of men behind you. 

“Yeah, alright, you got me. I’m the princess, I’d prefer you called me Y/n instead and gave me my crown back. Please and thank you.” As you speak you walk up to Bucky and hold out your hand waiting for your property to be returned to you. 

“He said you were kidnapped.” 

“Well, Steve, as you can see I very much wasn’t. I’m safe and sound so you can go tell him I’m fine and not to worry about me, it’s not his job to anyway. I’ll just need my crown back and we’ll never have to see each other again.”

“That’s not gonna happen princess. We were hired to find you and take you back so that’s what we’re gonna do. You’re only getting this crown back after you get us to the kingdom.” 

His words, as frustrating as they might be, spark an idea in your head. You can take them a long way back so that you can still adventure and visit a friend or two and once you get to the outskirts of the kingdom, you’ll get your crown back and take off again. Maybe you’ll even go home and tell your father about how much of an ass the prince is. You huff to play along with not wanting to go. 

“Fine, lead the way, oh wait he wouldn’t have told you where it was, follow me.” You take your dagger out of the tree and place it back in it’s holster on your thigh keeping your eye on Bucky, trying to think of ways to get your crown back before the kingdom. In doing this you miss Sam all but faint at your action. You then turn and start to lead the way back to the main path, smiling to yourself once your back is facing the trio. Steve follows, carrying a frozen Sam over his shoulder. Bucky hesitates, he can’t help but feel that getting you to agree to go back was too easy.

Bucky Taglist: @puddinsqueen​ @koressecretidentity​ @stevieintheimpala​ @unmagically​ @peachytea01​ @the-chocoholic-writer​ @perksofbeingatrex​ @99-cats​ @rachmmb​ @quokkatrash​ @vanillamaa​ @strawb3rrydr3ss​ @that-sarcastic-writer​ @spideyycents​ @mackycat11​ @crystalsoul2​ @rosiemotion​ @dissectiontime​ @lmf​ @jacelynenursalim​ @aiyanalevina​ @mooncaffeine​ @fanofalltheficsx​ @jewelsrocks99​ @lharrietg​ @yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @clubcesspool @sailormajinmoon​ @girl-obsessed-with-things​ @corvusmorte @sophielovesbarnes​ @collywobbl​ @majo240820​ @alina02​ @toothhurtyam​ 

Marvel Taglist: @its-the-autism-innit-luv​ @pogueslandia​ @obsessedwithbuckybarnes​ @rorysreallyrandom​ @sxtansqueen​ @myalupinblack​ @aya-fay @lieswithoutfairytales​ @kakakatey​ @sugarbutterbailey​ @1-800-ch3rry​ @amelia-song-pond​ @leyannrae​ @ficsnrec​ @slut-for-bucky-barnes​ @neenieweenie​ @officiallyunofficialperson​

Everything Taglist: @florenceyelena​ @ninuffi​ @i-love-superhero​ @kolakube9​ @lexy9716​ @hehehehannahthings​

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #runaway #fantasy au

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

What will be in my bag? Pre-ordered Manga. Straight and Lez edition.

Here’s a list of English-released manga I’ve currently got on pre-order, and manga series I ordered before but won’t be continuing with the series.

As a note: Some of these titles have been released but I have not received them yet due to a issues with covid backlog effected how things are released.  I personally find that if you pre-order it tends to get you manga quicker.  It seems there is more pressure to keep up with the new release schedule than chip away at the backlog.

I’m starting with the stuff I’ve already read some of and confirmed enjoyment, then stuff I’m shooting in the dark for, and finally series I have tried recently and have discontinued.

Heteros

My Androgynous Boyfriend

Story & Art by: Tamekou      Publisher: Seven Seas

It is rare for straight shit to end up in my library but My Androgynous boyfriend is an exception that will surprise no-one since it’s pretty queer adjacent.  This story is mostly a couple being lovey-dovey between jokes about sexuality and gender but (so far) isn’t problematic at all.  The female lead is quite enjoyable as she’s well-balanced and has agency throughout. There’s even ace representation! It’s very low-stakes, wholesome, and sweet so far. (Volume 3 is set to release in November.)

My Excitement Level: The gentle about to sink into a bubble bath variety

Yuri/Lesbian

Even Though We’re Adults

Story & Art by: Takako Shimura  Publisher: Seven Seas

Takako is also the creator of Sweet Blue Flowers and Wandering son.  I have dipped by toe in to both those series.  I overall find their writing kinda meandering and tepid (might just be me) but technically pretty solid.  I am hopeful for this series since it features adults....if the title didn’t make it obvious.  I was intrigued by the one character being married but the man finding out about the affair quickly and reacting more realistically and interestingly than the average male love interest in a Yuri.  I also found myself relating at bit to Akari’s angst about being unlucky with relationships with women.  I also do enjoy the artwork! This one is the most likely of my followed series to be dropped at some point. (Volume 2 of this manga was set to release in June this year.)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

For more click the jump!

Kase-san and Yamada

Story & Art by: Hiromi Takashima  Publisher: Seven Seas

This is a series I keep going back to.  While it is the very typical low-stakes bubbly, cutesy School age Yuri...it is a very good version of that.  Just warm bubble bath vibes. (Volume 7 is set to release in February of next year.  I think it was originally supposed to be released this May but was bumped back.)

My Excitement Level: The gentle about to sink into a bubble bath variety

NOW ONTO THE SERIES I HAVEN’T READ BUT I’M TAKING A CHANCE ON!

Adachi and Shimaura

Art: Moke Yuzuhara Story: Hitoma Iruma  Publisher: Yen Press

This, as I understand it, is a slow-burn romance about two delinquent girls.  I have heard good things about the novel and the anime series!  However I prefer manga to novels and don’t have a funimation account so I went to snag it in manga form. (Volume 1 was set to release in February this year and 2 in September)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

The Girl I want is so handsome!

Story & Art by:Yuama     Publisher: Seven Seas

The premise is a young lady has a crush on a handsome older girl who’s oblivious to her advances.  When she tries to confess she instead gets roped into being the club manager of the basketball team that her crush is a part of.  So it feels like it may end up cycling through 2 jokes and be so deep in the stereotypical manga bullshit you can easily-predict its beats volumes in advance. HOWEVER that is also a premise that is similar to Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun which is legitimately a hilarious series. Also I fucking love butch/stud/masc-presenting women/AFAB people.  So I’m willing to risk “The same Anime bullshit” for good jokes and a cute lezzy romance with a beautiful butch.  (Volume 1 is set to release of December of this year.)

My Excitement Level: Pretty nervous actually.  I hope it works out!

Monologue Woven for You

Story & Art by: Syu Yasaka     Publisher: Seven Seas

A woman gives up on a career in theater gets tangled in a relationship with a woman passionately pursuing theater.  Since it is set between college age women, and appears to be about more personal and mature themes I am interested. (Volume 1 I BELIEVE is supposed to be released in February of next year.)

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

Mizuno and Chayama (No page yet so far as I can tell.)

Story & Art by: Yuhta Nishio     Publisher: Yen Press

Two daughters of feuding families meet in secret.  This is by the same author of After Hours.  I read a bit of After Hours and found it fine but boring since it seemed without conflict.  Conflict doesn’t seem to be in short supply with a story like this!  While I enjoy the sugary-sweet high school lesbian romances...those are not in short-supply. So I am always hungry for something darker, meatier, more mature. (Volume 1 is set to release next February) 

My Excitement Level: Cautious Optimism

5 Seconds Before The Witch Falls In Love

Story & Art by:  Zeniko Sumiya     Publisher: Seven Seas

It appears to be a playful fantasy about a Witch and Witch-hunter who’s antagonism turns romantic.  This may end up one note and stupid...but I’m always hear for queer romances set in high-fantasy and I haven’t read a Yuri where rivals turns to lovers. (Volume 1 is set to release next February)  

My Excitement Level: Low-key

Catch These Hands! (No page yet so far as I can tell.)

Story & Art by: Murata     Publisher: Yen Press 

A former delinquent runs into her high school rival.  After losing a fight to her she agrees to her terms...her terms being to go out on a date with her.  I mean the title alone makes me want to pick it up!  It may run afoul of bad anime humor, but I’m hoping with the fact that it’s full of gay adult delinquents that it’ll be a little different.  (Volume 1 is set to release next February)  

My Excitement Level: Medium-key

Series I have discontinued:

I’m in love with the Villainess

Art by: Aonoshimo  Story by:  Inori   Publisher: Seven Seas

A woman gets reborn into her favorite Otome game but she wants to romance the villiain!  I had heard a ton of great things about the novel but I picked up the manga version. (If the novel is totally different I can’t speak to it.)  For me, the writing is ham-handed, the jokes flop 90% of the time, and the fact the lead’s only personality trait seems to be ~obsessed with a bully~ really dampens this title.  Her advances are so aggressive and unwanted I honestly started feeling bad for a spoiled rich bully.  I will say it’s saving grace is the fact that the lead is masochistically into the villainess’ tsundere abusiveness. For me I hate tsundere romances if framed like, “I like you DESPITE your insults.” It is only tolerable if it’s instead, “I like you cause you tell it like it is. I’m a dirty little pig. Please step on this bad little piggy!”

Our Teachers are Dating

Story & Art by: Pikachi Ohi      Publisher: Seven Seas

Well one reason I stopped the series is that cover you see up there.  The sex in this series is fade to black but FOR SOME REASON the 3rd cover has them both butt naked.  But on a less superficial note, the story is about two teachers who start dating.  And while cute at points, I was just underwhelmed.  I think a part of it, is the fact that this behaves like a stereotypical high school romance...and while set in a high school...these are grown ass women not 15 year olds.  So I have less patience with the, “Gosh when will I get to kiss my girlfriend?” bullshit.  I mean, I would hesitate to call it bad...but it’s just not a good version of it’s brand of bullshit.

Breath of Flowers

Story & Art by: Caly                       Publisher: Tokyopop

Absolute train-wreck, this is hands down the worst Yuri I have ever bought.  The story is nonsensical and all over the place.  There is a love rival who’s trying to break the two of them up so she can get with Gwyn...but then switches mid-gear to put in a lot of effort to bring them together intentionally...but she also still wants to hook up with Gwyn...it’s very ????????????  The main conflict of Gwyn is hiding their gender so they can play basketball on the boy’s team (not well explained) is built up hugely and resolved with a hand flick.  There is a melodramatic moment where a school nurse says more or less, “GIVE IT UP YOU’LL NEVER BE A BOY!” And it’s like “OH SHIT! The fact that Gwyn is on the basketball team is cause he’s a transboy trying to live life as a boy! Oh gosh it makes so much more sense now!”  But the author seems to not even know that trans people exist cause the story bumbles along as if that scene never happened.  The closest we get is at the end Gwyn is like, “Look I’m learning to do make-up on myself to make you happy lawl!” Which is I GUESS supposed to be, “NO NO DON’T WORRY ALL OF GWYN’S GENDER STUFF WAS JUST THERE TO MAKE THE MAIN CHARACTER SEXUALLY CONFUSED WHEN SHE DISCOVERS GWYN’S TRUE GENDER!  HER TRUE GENDER IS 100% CIS WOMAN CAUSE SHE DID MAKE-UP ONCE! IT’S FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!” Like whaaaaaaaaat?  And it ends on a very random scene which doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the story.  Ugh just very bad do not interact!

A White Rose in Bloom

Story & Art by: Asumiko Nakamura    Publisher: Seven Seas

At an all girls catholic school a young woman falls for a mysterious foreign student.  I grabbed this cause it’s gay and I overall like Asumiko Nakamura’s work (she also does Doukyusei, double mints, and others.)  However I was just not grabbed with this title.  I just felt like I wasn’t getting what was making the MC pants on head obsessed with Steph.  Also the lead’s mother tells her that she’s getting divorced and therefore will no longer have money to pay for the university and she’s framed like a super bad person for this.  Like I get why the MC (a teenager) would think that something like that is THE END OF THE WORLD! But I remember them really framing the mom like a selfish bitch for this...when like...it’s well established that her mom and dad’s relationship has been toxic for YEARS and that they TRIED SO HARD to fix it.  OH WELL!  This might be good but it just didn’t grab me in the 1st volume.

I’ll make a post on the BL titles later! Take care and Stay Rotten!

#preorder #my androgynous boyfriend #kase-san and yamada #even though we're adults #Adachi and Shimaura #the girl I want is so handsome #white rose in bloom #our teachers are dating #breath of flowers #catch these hands #I'm in love with the villainess #Mizuno and Chayama #monologue woven for you #5 seconds before the witch falls in love

[seokmingiggles]

rainbow.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female reader

Genre: angst, some scattered fluff, established relationship, soulmate!au (where you can see colour from the moment you meet your soulmate).

5.96k words

Warnings: brief mention of alcohol consumption, [spoilers: unmentioned illness (however, I allude to Lymphoma [a type of cancer] that has spread to other areas), major character death.]

There are countless tales of the lengths people go to when finding their soulmate, yet significantly fewer of the aftermath. You thought your life began when fate led you to your soulmate, but why does it feel like it’s ending all of a sudden?

Alternatively, not all wishes come true. Even when Jungkook tries to convince you otherwise.

A/N: This piece is likely going to be my last longer one for a while as I’m returning back to school for my winter semester. Expect my updates to be significantly more sparse than they have been for the past few weeks. Other than that, I’m so glad I began to post my writings online. It’s still bizarre to me that actual people are reading them?? If you enjoy (or have constructive criticism for) any of my pieces, please, never be shy to let me know!! I absolutely adore hearing your opinion on what I’ve created. With that said, gosh, I cried while doing my research to write this one.

If you are looking for a cute, fluffy soulmate!au, this may not be a suitable fic for you. Yes, there are some fluffy moments, but it overall contains heavy themes that may be triggering to some. If you’re looking for a fluffy soulmate!Jungkook drabble, the first portion of 1k words contains no angst, along with the three italicized sections.

•• Your soulmate. Soulmate. Even the word sounded magical; a mate bound to your soul.

Growing up, you were the cliché little girl who would endlessly dream about seeing colour for the first time at the instant your eyes locked with a certain someone across the room. Just imagining some above force drawing you to them sounded magical.

And, to a certain extent, it did happen that way when you met yours.

Not-exactly in the storybook-way you pictured, but you felt strangely drawn to a particular boy back in your second year of university. Your childhood friend, Chaeyoung, had convinced you to attend some end-of-semester party on campus. To be fair, that's where you met your other closest friend to this day.

The boy was sat on a couch, looking uninterested and unimpressed by the events happening around him. Chaeyoung, as much as you love her, had run off with another one of her classmates, leaving you floundering in the pool of sweaty bodies and loud music. So, you made your way to the sofa and sat next to the expressionless boy, who you came to know as Yeosang.

You didn't expect him to begin talking to you with the blank gaze he was displaying prior to you taking a seat, but you're happy it turned out that way. After that party, Yeosang joined your duo with Chaeyoung; the three of you would come to have plenty of fun together.

Though, it was at that same party where you also met Jungkook.

After chatting with Yeosang for who knows how long, your small bladder eventually needed relief from the few drinks you had. You excused yourself and wandered around the unfamiliar house in search of a bathroom. It was a large space with multiple floors, perhaps belonging to one of your campus fraternities, but you found yourself walking like you knew exactly where to go.

You ended up upstairs, where it was significantly more quiet than the bustling main floor. Only a few scattered couples kissing in the hallways or leading another to someone's bedroom crossed your path.

You managed to find a vacant washroom, much to your delight. But upon opening the bathroom door after you had finished, you were met with a handsome—albeit unfamiliar—face.

And also with a flood of colour for the first time in your life.

You and the stranger were both dumbfounded for a moment. It was only until he broke the silence and said, "Look, you don't know how happy I am to have found you, but I really, really, need to pee. So, if you don't mind–"

Those were the first words that Jungkook had spoken to you.

And in that instant, despite the slightly awkward, non-picture-perfect meeting, you were nothing less than smitten from that day forth.

Things between you and Jungkook went swimmingly after your first introductions. You two were soulmates; after all, it was only natural to get along. You had more in common with the boy than you would have guessed.

Your first couple of dates were much better than anything you had imagined them to be. Despite the cheesiness of a dinner and a movie for your first date or the loudness of your second arcade date, you were already looking forward to spending a future with Jungkook.

The first time he kissed you was like nothing else you've ever felt. Fireworks were an understatement. It was like all the stars in the universe had aligned perfectly, and all you could see were each and every constellation in Jungkook's eyes the moment he pulled away.

You were far beyond smitten at that point.

But what you didn't expect upon meeting Jungkook was how your vision would be impacted so greatly. Yes, you had heard about how wonderful a world of colour was, and yes, that was one of the things you had been looking forward to upon finding your soulmate; however, you could never have imagined just how vibrant the world really was.

You knew you were lucky to find your soulmate in your twenties. There were too many people who went countless years or even their whole lives without finding theirs, and you happened to meet yours only after a couple of decades into your life. It made you excited to spend the rest of your time by Jungkook's side. It would be a future where both of you would admire the process of the sky: shifting its palette in the evening to paint the clouds in an awe-inspiring gradient. Or seeing the luscious ruby-red strawberries adorning his favourite cake on each of his birthdays as the years passed together. Seeing the swirling brown of his irises, too, was one of your favourite sights after being able to see colour.

Your life became nothing short of a rainbow. Every day felt magical being with Jungkook; being with your soulmate.

Before you knew it, you celebrated your first year together. Then two. Then a few more until you both graduated from university. You eventually found a little apartment to call home at around the same time; it made sense to move in together. Previously, both of you had roommates during your schooling years. Although now, living together only seemed natural when you knew you'd eventually get married one day.

And living with Jungkook was nothing but natural.

Waking up next to your boyfriend was better than you could have imagined. Seeing his cute, groggy face puffy with sleep was the most endearing thing to you, and he thought the exact same way when he'd wake before you on the rare occasion.

It was like a little insight into how the rest of your life would be.

Your heart would uncontrollably flutter every time Jungkook would approach you from behind and gently wrap his arms around your torso as you worked at the stove. Or the way he'd sometimes comb your damp hair after a shower, making sure to pepper little kisses to your neck or cheek in the process. Your heart had never felt so full until Jungkook had unexpectedly made his way into your life.

And you're forever elated that he did.

•

"Which one do you think looks better on me?" Chaeyoung held up two shirts to her torso.

You examined both pieces and felt the fabric before saying, "I think I prefer the red one," referring to the shirt on the left.

You and your two best friends were spending a sunny day off just wandering around the streets downtown. It was your chance to explore the little cafes you would keep driving by or window-shopping at the cute boutiques you'd see. Chaeyoung had dragged you and Yeosang into one of the stores when a mannequin's outfit in the display case caught her eye.

"No, I think the blue one is nicer," Yeosang interjected as he pointed to the second option.

You hummed, reconsidering your answer, "Actually, yeah, you're right. I think you should get the blue one."

Chaeyoung inspected both tops once more, "Okay, blue it is."

The three of you walked to the cashier for the girl to make her purchase, leaving the store shortly after to continue on your way.

"You're both so lucky to have found your soulmates already," she beamed at the two of you as you passed by another shop.

"You'll find yours eventually, Chae," Yeosang added. "Seeing colour for the first time will blow your mind."

You only nodded in agreement and returned their smiles.

Your stomach had been feeling slightly off since this morning, but you ignored the feeling in pursuit of seeing your friends for the first time in a while. Yet now, the unsettling feeling seemed to be growing stronger.

"Hey, guys," you rubbed the back of your neck, "I'm not feeling too well all of a sudden. I think I might be coming down with something. I'm sorry to ditch you so early, but I should head home."

"Do you want a ride back?" Yeosang offered, being the only of the three of you to have a car.

"No, it's okay. The bus runs pretty frequently. I don't want to bother you."

You waved goodbye before either of them had a chance to protest and began walking to the nearest bus stop.

You weren't necessarily feeling sick; that was a lie. Or, rather, you suddenly felt like you had been struck by a tsunami. An overwhelming sensation of swirling nauseousness and anxiety began brewing beneath your skin. You clasped your hands together to prevent them from visibly shaking once you'd taken a seat on the bus.

You were uncertain of what was happening to you so suddenly.

However, you did know that that shirt looked awfully grey, not blue.

Now that you think of it, the sky above you appeared duller too.

•

"Hey, Guk, come look at this!"

Jungkook followed the sound of your voice and turned down the neighbouring aisle, only to see you holding up a folded square of checkered material.

"It's on clearance, too!" you said with excitement.

Your boyfriend stepped closer to you and took the blanket into his hands. "What is it?"

"What do you mean, 'What is it?' It's a picnic blanket, you goof," you took the square and flipped it over to see the image on the cardboard package of how it would look unfolded. "I've always thought the idea of those picnic dates is adorable. Cheesy, but adorable."

Jungkook admired your smile as you continued to read the supposed 'features' of the blanket.

"It's got a water-resistant bottom all while the top is a thick and soft flannel. It's also apparently easily foldable with a carrying strap." You continued to scan the list of details, "And look, it's machine washable! I think it's a good one." You turned your attention to the boy stood next to you, "What do you think?"

Jungkook wouldn't have been able to wipe the adoring smile off his face no matter how hard he tried.

"You're so cute," he mumbled and pulled you into a hug in the middle of the store.

"That's nice," your voice was muffled against Jungkook's chest, "but what do you think of the blanket?" You wiggled your arm free from his hold to display the picnic blanket once more, examining his face for his reaction.

Jungkook felt the fabric before saying, “It's soft. Yeah, I think it's a good one.”

“'It's soft,'” you repeated his statement. "That's all you have to say about it?"

"I can't say I'm a connoisseur of picnic blankets or anything, my love."

"Well, neither am I, but I'm sure I can think of more adjectives to describe it other than 'it's soft.'"

The boy encouraged you to come up with some.

"For starters, look how colourful it is! It's like a plaid rainbow in a fun little bundle."

Your words made Jungkook laugh, causing you to giggle too.

"Okay," you admitted, "maybe I'm no picnic blanket connoisseur either."

Jungkook admired your rosy cheeks from laughing. "Let's buy it," he said. "Going on picnics with you sounds like fun." He pulled you close once more, "Actually, anything as long as I'm with you sounds like fun."

“Does that mean you’ll sleepover tonight?”

The boy pretended like it was some philosophical question before breaking out into a smile, “Yeah, I’ll sleepover tonight.”

•

You did your best to keep that instance of a colourless sky and grey shirt to yourself for days. When Yeosang and Chaeyoung texted you later that day to check on you, you told them you felt better after having a nap.

And it was true, but not the full truth.

You blamed what you saw on a lack of sleep. It was just your tired eyes playing tricks on you; it had to have been. That previous night, you and Jungkook had gotten distracted by watching a few episodes of a show together, not realizing how late it had become.

So, when you went to lie down upon returning to your apartment that afternoon, you silently prayed that when you'd wake, you'd be able to see a complete colour spectrum once more.

It only broke your heart when that wasn't the case.

You crumpled onto the floor after staring up at the monochromatic sky extending above you; not an ounce of blue could be found between the clouds, nor all the way to the horizon.

You were dreading talking with Jungkook about it.

The day you first were able to see in colour when you met him, never did you anticipate that one day they would begin to fade.

Could you have rushed into things too quickly? Did you love him more than he loves you?

Has he fallen out of love with you?

Regardless of the possibility, seeing the colours begin to disappear couldn't have meant anything good.

That's when you'd decided to hide it from anyone, especially from the boy you loved with nothing less than your full heart and entire being.

Perhaps feigning ignorance could make the hue return. At the least, it was wishful thinking.

When Jungkook returned home that evening, you pretended like nothing was wrong. When he'd asked about your outings with your best friends, you'd said how nice it was to see them again.

You even showed him the nail polish you bought for him when the other week he said how he was interested in trying some for himself; after seeing your nails decorated so prettily.

Despite the name of the bottle's shade reading Ebony Midnight, you found yourself doubting the colour. You second-guessed if it actually was black like you intended or some confusing and ambiguous tint of navy blue.

Jungkook kissed your cheek and told you how excited he was for the upcoming weekend when you'd have the time to paint his nails for him.

Yet, a few days later—on both of your days off—when your boyfriend came up to you with the nail polish bottle in hand, you found yourself brimming with tears uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, love?"

You stepped back from Jungkook's advancement towards you.

"(Y/N)?"

His eyes held nothing but concern for you, and yet you still doubted his authenticity.

"Jungkook," you whispered, "what colour is that nail polish?"

The boy examined the small glass bottle. "It's black," he said like it was an obvious fact. He looked at it closer. "Wait, no, it almost looks dark blue in certain lighting."

All of the oxygen depleted from your lungs. You clasped your hand around your mouth as you wept, your eyes clamping shut both in frustration and in fear.

You felt Jungkook's arms wrap around you, pulling you into his chest and gently rubbing your back.

"Please," his voice was small, "can you tell me what's wrong? If it's because you got blue when I asked for black, that's not a big deal, love. I'm so happy you remembered when I told you about it. And I still want to use it! I could barely tell when I looked at it–"

"I can't see blue anymore."

Jungkook halted his ministrations on your back, tensing at your words.

"And I'm afraid to know what it means," you continued, struggling to find your words. "Do you not love me anymore? Am I not really your soulmate?"

Your boyfriend pulled away slightly so he could look at your face properly; tear-stained and all. "(Y/N), please. I love you more than anything in this world. Never forget that." He brushed away a stray tear falling down your cheek.

"Then why are my colours fading? I've never heard of that happening before..." You furrowed your eyebrows in thought. Another reason suddenly popped into your head. "Unless–"

You didn't let yourself finish that sentence. Your eyes met Jungkook's only to find his expression had become more solemn.

"No," you whispered. "Please, no. Don't tell me– I-It can't be–"

Jungkook said nothing and pulled you back closer to him. You squeezed the boy so tightly, sobs shaking your body. He hugged you back as he silently began to cry.

"Could we not talk about it right now?" his voice was quiet. "We're still doing some tests to rule out what it could be, so I don't have much information for you."

You nodded your head.

The two of you stayed in each other's embrace. Jungkook swayed your bodies slightly: a gentle rocking motion to help calm you down.

"Can you still paint my nails today?"

You forced a smile on your face over the tears that had spilled and were threatening to continue. "Of course."

You took Jungkook's hand and made your way to the couch, swallowing nausea from the information with which you'd just been burdened. While it was vague, it was heavy, nonetheless.

That night, you were having difficulties falling asleep. Jungkook kept tossing and turning by your side; he'd kick and move the blanket around too.

"Hey," you whispered, finding his shoulder in the darkness. "Are you okay?"

Jungkook sighed and brought his hand on top of yours, "I'm really warm. Too warm."

You could feel the clamminess of his hand.

"And I keep feeling itchy," he added. "The blanket isn't helping—it's making me warm and itchy and–"

"Okay, okay," you soothed him before he'd become too frustrated. You sat up and removed the duvet from his body. "Do you think a cool shower would help?"

There was silence while Jungkook thought. He rubbed his tired eyes and replied, "I can try," before standing from the bed.

"Hey," you grabbed his hand before he could walk away, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You heard the smile in his voice.

"Now, get some sleep, beautiful," Jungkook leant down to place one kiss on your forehead, then one to your lips.

You listened to the sound of your boyfriend's footsteps receding from your bedroom. Shortly after, the faucet came to life, and finally, the sound of the shower curtain dragged closed.

What you didn't hear was Jungkook allowing himself to cry in the shower.

•

The weather had been stormier lately.

Jungkook was waiting to surprise you with an adorable, little picnic to celebrate your university graduation; however, the weather had other plans.

There were some days where he'd check the weather forecast multiple times to see if there would be an upcoming opportunity to see clear skies and sunshine.

But every time, he was met with that dull, grey rain symbol on his phone.

Jungkook had had enough. Screw the weather, he thought, we'll have this goddamn picnic if it's the last thing I do; indoors if we must.

You were sleeping in on the day after your last exam. It gave your boyfriend the optimal chance to set up your living room with the checkered blanket and wicker basket after running out quickly to get some flowers. The boy had an artistic eye. After pushing aside some of the remaining cardboard boxes from the move, he was proud of the final arrangement of breakfast foods and the occasional tasteful scattered petal on the blanket. He even took advantage of some of the smaller pillows from the couch to make the set-up even cozier.

Jungkook began to anticipate your reaction, growing gradually more excited. He carefully made his way to your shared bedroom to wake you from your peaceful slumber.

"(Y/N)," he cooed, brushing away some stray hairs that fell onto your face while you slept.

You hummed at the feeling of his touch, slowly adjusting to the light seeping through the curtains. Once your eyes finally opened, you were met with Jungkook's affectionate gaze at you.

"Good morning, my beautiful love," he leant down to peck you.

"Gross!" you pushed him away, jokingly. "You're not allowed to kiss me until I've brushed my teeth." You sat up with a playful grin on your face. You lifted your arms, "Carry me?"

Jungkook chuckled as he stood from the bed, "Oh, so you call me gross, but now you want me to carry you to the bathroom?"

Despite his words, the boy moved in to wrap his arms around your torso, effectively picking you up.

"No, I wasn't calling you gross," you said as he brought you to the washroom, "it was the act of kissing me with my yucky morning breath. That was gross."

Jungkook placed you down once you were in the room. His arms never left your sides.

"I don't suppose you're going to ask if I can brush your teeth for you too, are you?"

You picked up your toothbrush, wetting the bristles and adding some toothpaste, "So sassy today, Guk," and began brushing your teeth.

The boy only smiled, wrapping his arms around you once again and squeezing your smaller frame in his strong embrace.

Once you finished washing up, Jungkook told you to close your eyes as he pulled you into the living room, bursting with excitement.

"Promise me you won't make me run into the couch or a wall or box or something," you mumbled as he pulled on your free hand; your other one was covering your eyes.

Jungkook giggled but complied with your promise.

Eventually, you felt him stop in front of you, making sure you wouldn't crash into his back. Beneath your feet, you felt the cold wooden floor of your living room.

"You can open them now," he muttered into your ear along with a gentle kiss.

And when you did, you saw the beautiful arrangement of treats and flowers all sat upon the old picnic blanket, surrounded by the final few boxes you'd yet to unpack. It was the same blanket you bought before you moved in together when you claimed that you'd love to go on a picnic date with him one day.

When you made that purchase, never would you have guessed that its first use would be in your newly-shared apartment inside on a rainy day.

"What's all this for?" you felt strangely emotional at the sentiment.

"It's for you, (Y/N)," he pulled you into his arms once more. "Happy graduation. I'm so proud of you."

Jungkook leaned down to kiss you properly for the first time that morning. His thumb traced the shell of your ear as he smiled into the kiss, feeling the way one of your hands clasped the back of his shirt while your other one threaded through his hair.

"You're incredible, Jungkook," you whispered as you broke from the kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he returned the sentiment and gave you another quick kiss. He took your hand and led you onto the blanket where you sat side-by-side.

"You know," you began as he mixed around the assorted fruits he chopped up earlier, "if we had a dog like you said you wanted, all this food wouldn't have been able to be left out on the floor."

Jungkook stopped fiddling with the fruit salad as he processed your words. "I still want a dog," he said simply and continued to stir. "But you're right. It would be a lot more challenging," he fed you a strawberry, "like having a baby."

"Dogs are like big babies," you chimed-in with a smile.

The two of you continued to snack while sat on the blanket. Small conversations and giggles were all that could be heard within the walls of your apartment. The atmosphere was significantly brighter than the downpour that continued outside.

"Do you think we'll see a rainbow today?" Jungkook asked as you both were now leaning against the base of the couch.

You were still clad in your pyjamas and him in his leisurewear.

"Maybe, if this rain ever stops," you replied. "Maybe if the sun shows itself."

"Maybe."

Jungkook brought the back of your hand to his lips, then laced his fingers between yours while the two of you continued to watch the rain.

•

"Do you have any nail polish remover?"

You heard Jungkook's footsteps approaching you in your bedroom, looking up to see his figure appearing in the doorway.

"Are you tired of how it looks already?" you smiled gently at him.

The boy shook his head. "Actually, I'm not allowed to have painted nails for tomorrow when I go to the hospital."

Your smile faded. "Oh, right. T-that's right. Um..." you got off the bed and trekked to the bathroom with Jungkook in tow. You opened the cabinet beneath the sink to find the little bottle. "Here you go. I have some cotton balls too to use with it. Do you need help with this too?"

"No, I should be able to do it myself."

"Okay," your hand found its way onto Jungkook's back, your thumb rubbed his shoulder. "Make sure you do it in a well-ventilated area."

"Thank you," he smiled.

Yet, you could tell his expression was only fleeting.

You were afraid. No, you were petrified of what tomorrow would bring.

Jungkook had been going through more testing lately, although you were still in the dark from it all. He kept giving you the same statements: "We're still figuring out what it could be," or "We're still not sure yet."

They were all just different versions of "I don't want to tell you because I don't want to worry you."

You still worried regardless.

You and Jungkook stood by the front door where you hugged him before he left for his recurrent hospital visit.

"Maybe you could paint my nails again when I come home tonight," he suggested, inhaling the scent of your shampoo for his memory as he held you in his embrace.

"Maybe," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Before you knew it, Jungkook was once again out the door.

It was only when you were alone that you'd let yourself cry. You knew you needed to stay strong for his sake. Being on the receiving end of a life-threatening disease was hard enough; you didn't want to make his experience any more challenging. Although, you still didn't know for sure if that's what it was.

Jungkook exited his car once he arrived at the familiar tall building. He stepped into the elevator and pressed the familiar button, and eventually turned left down the familiar hallway to the waiting room.

He was shortly after ushered into his doctor's office, taking a seat in the squeaky and uncomfortable and all-too-familiar grey chair.

His doctor soon after entered the room.

"How are you feeling today, Jungkook?" she greeted him with a gentle voice, taking a seat in front of her desk in the corner of the room.

"My headaches are becoming more frequent," he began. "I also haven't had much of an appetite either, and sometimes, it's difficult to breathe," he stated with furrowed eyebrows. "I've overall felt more tired lately. That might be the biggest thing—my lack of energy."

Dr. Kim hummed and jotted down some notes. "Have you told your soulmate anything yet?"

Jungkook shook his head, "No, I try not to. I don't want to stress her."

The doctor sat upright once again, finishing her writings. "You may want to reconsider that choice," she cleared her throat. "Your cells haven't been responding to the antibiotics as we'd like them to. Perhaps, if we had caught it sooner–"

"But we didn't." Jungkook's voice was firm. "We didn't, and this is my life now. We try, and we fail, and we repeat the cycle over and over." He took a deep breath. "As soon as you told me the diagnosis, I suspected I wouldn't make it for much longer. I suspected that I wouldn't get to live the future that I've dreamt of." His features softened as you entered his mind. "The future that I've wished for." Jungkook paused, then considered, "Can I spend my final days—however long I have—with my soulmate?"

Dr. Kim's eyes remained on Jungkook's. "Are you certain? Because there's another procedure we could try. It would require you to stay here in the hospital, and there would be risks associated with it due to the stage you're in, but it's the last one we can offer you."

"I'm sure." The boy didn't hesitate. "I'm positive. I just want to be with her," he felt himself tearing up. "She already knows that something is wrong. I don't want to tell her that my MRI is practically all made up of black-voids." Jungkook bitterly wiped away the tear that fell, "She's losing her colours. She knows I'm dying."

"So you'd like to spend the rest of your time at home with her?" Dr. Kim clarified.

"More than anything."

•

"Surprise!"

Jungkook's hands lifted from your eyes.

"What's all of this?" you asked with a smile.

"For you, silly."

You giggled, looking between the array of treats displayed on the picnic blanket and your beautiful boyfriend. "I kind of figured that, Guk. But why?"

"Do I need a reason to treat you, my love?" Jungkook pulled you close to him, "I felt bad about the last time when we were stuck inside from the rain. I wanted to try again, properly, this time."

"But do you see all of this?" You gestured to the container next to you, "We couldn't finish everything you prepared last time, but you still got a cake for today! Do you expect the two of us to eat an entire cake along with everything else you've packed?"

The boy chuckled, "Come on, (Y/N), it's not that big of a cake. I'm sure we can finish it all no problem." He popped open the plastic container, eager to taste it. "And if not, then we'll have some to eat for tomorrow."

His logic was reasonable, you considered.

Jungkook picked up a fork and dug it into the side of the strawberry cake, only to bring the utensil up to your lips to give you the first bite.

"How is it?" your boyfriend asked, trying to gauge your expression as you chewed.

"Absolutely delicious," was your muffled response.

Jungkook reached up to wipe off the speck of whipped cream from the corner of your mouth before feeding himself a forkful.

"It is delicious!" he said with delight as the strawberry flavour danced across his tastebuds. "I may not know how to make a cake, but I sure know how to pick a good one."

"Ah, yes, picking good cakes is a valuable life skill to have," you playfully teased, admiring the way Jungkook continued to inhale more of the dessert.

The two of you laid back on the blanket after working your way through some of the treats (and about half of the cake; it was more than you anticipated you two would be able to finish in one sitting). Your head was resting on Jungkook's chest while he played with the ends of your hair as the two of you admired the heavens.

The sky was immaculately blue with picture-perfect white fluffy clouds decorating it. Jungkook was getting nervous when he woke up to rain that morning, knowing he had all of the preparations ready for the picnic. But now, the post-rain summer afternoon left a comfortable temperature with the sun high in the sky, warming the grass and gradually working its way to kiss the horizon.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

You glanced upwards from your position on Jungkook's upper body.

His eyes remained fixated on the sky as he asked softly, "Would you like to get married?"

The grin on your face was immediate at hearing his question. "Without a doubt, yes."

Jungkook beamed back at you and hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head.

"This isn't a proposal because I don't have the ring yet," he muttered into your hair, "but you already make me the happiest man alive. I can only imagine how incredible our future will be, (Y/N)." You felt him squeeze you slightly tighter. "There's nothing more that I want than to grow old with you by my side."

You felt yourself getting emotional at his words. "When the time comes that you do propose, know that it's already a yes." You propped yourself up so you could move to meet Jungkook's mouth with your own, caressing the side of his face while his hand continued to fiddle with your hair.

Jungkook grinned into the kiss. In all the years he's spent kissing you, the act never failed to pull butterflies from his chest.

You eventually pulled away only to see the light pink dusting across your boyfriend's cheeks with matching rosy lips. You could spend all day admiring him, and he, likewise, could do the same with watching you.

You once again nuzzled into his side with an arm around his torso, returning your gaze to the sky. It was beginning to shift into a radiant, golden-colour the lower the sun fell; the clouds reflected the light, displaying a gentle wash of coral-pink.

You're forever grateful for all of the dazzling colours which Jungkook brought into your life.

Goosebumps tingled throughout your body at the way the boy so gently grazed his fingers along your arm. The outside air was growing chillier with the depleting sunlight, yet being pressed against Jungkook supplied you with enough warmth to stay comfortable.

"Hey, look over there," your boyfriend indicated to your left. "Do you see that?"

You lifted your gaze to above where he was pointing.

•

There was a rainbow in the sky on the day that Jungkook died.

You received the dreadful phone call from the hospital early that afternoon. You thought he'd only stepped out for his usual testing. You had been admiring the way the sun finally broke through the dense rain clouds as you were waiting for his return home.

However, minutes before your phone rang, your whole world drained of colour. It was the difference between one blink. One split-second; one moment. You could see the golden sunbeams as they danced down to the concrete below, and then, suddenly, you couldn't. Everything became a varying shade of the asphalt; every hue vanished in that instant.

It was only a few weeks after you painted his nails for the first and last time. Of course, there was no way you'd have known it was the last time then.

Your heart tore into two at thinking how much pain Jungkook must have experienced near the end. He never once complained to you about any of it; he never told you what was wrong. You only found out afterwards from his doctor over the phone.

You nearly missed the sight of the rainbow after you set your phone down: the arc extended above the city in its monochromatic glory in the equally colourless sky.

You could recall the different hues that would make up the once pretty sight.

"You should make a wish, (Y/N)!"

"Make a wish on a rainbow?"

"You've never heard of that before?"

You pulled your eyes from the sight in the sky to your boyfriend's face, "No, never."

"Then today shall be your first."

"Hm, well, alright, Guk."

You sat up on the picnic blanket and clasped your hands together, pressing your eyes shut as you reiterated your wish in your head. Upon opening your eyes once you finished, you were blessed with Jungkook's delicate features gazing at you.

You brushed away some of his hair that fell into his eyes.

"What did you wish for, my love?" Jungkook whispered, leaning into your touch.

You exchanged his glance, admiring his beautiful brown eyes smiling at you, and inched closer so you could kiss him.

But now, you kind of hated rainbows.

"I wished to spend a lifetime with you."

They reminded you of your wishes that would, now, never come true.

"I wished for the exact same thing."

••

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagines #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook soulmate au #bts #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction

[mc-critical]

On Hatice’s character, I feel like she more or less was cheated of a better character arc which could’ve made her more likeable or easier to understand (almost everyone I’ve encountered who is into the series has extreme distaste for her character.) Though I don’t necessarily feel any particular form of intensity towards her character I do wish she could have been explored a bit more? I can see why she wasn’t likely due to time constraints/needing to stay consistent with plot lines but it would have been nice to see. I feel like everytime Hatice was on screen, mentioned, or involved in the plot line it was in conjunction to or in relation to Ibrahim. Even after Ibrahim was dead, Hatice’s whole storyline was just..Ibrahim. It was clear that she was emotionally unstable and dealt with attachment issues from the start of the series, likely resulting trauma from her father’s bloody reign. We’re told she was “her parent’s favorite/the spoiled one” according to her siblings, we’re hinted at some sort of past fued between her and Sah but no real context. We rarely got to see her interact with her children. It’s like we only were given tiny bits and pieces of Hatice as her own person and everything else about her just existed to string Ibrahim along. It’s quite sad..what do you think?

Eh, I absolutely adore Hatice as a character and I feel she got a very solid, well-written character arc. I'm pleased with what we got with her in the show and I think that her nuance tends to be massively overlooked.

The center of her character is not really Ibrahim, but rather the line between family and dynasty. And while that seems to be attributed with Ibrahim in the strongest way, it also channels in who Hatice is as a person and her interactions with other characters like her mother, Süleiman and Hürrem.

Hatice has always been the sultana of blood that is closest to the dynasty, but also the one that wants to detach the most from it. As you said, she had lingering trauma from her father's reign /which indeed is only hinted, to be honest, but that's the whole backstory of Selim Yavuz, what we got from his cruelty in the show was basically hints two flashbacks. We were told by Süleiman of his defining deed, we were told by Valide and Hatice that they saw his father in him, but the rest remained pretty much vague, which isn't a problem with Hatice's character. However, it may come off as a problem with SS's character, since more backstory would better explain his paranoia outside of actions of the "suspects" taken out of context, would render Mustafa's death a little more understandable and would highlight even more his character arc, for Selim Yavuz was his "Azraeel", according to him, but that is a post for another day./, but on a more personal note, she has witnessed the death her former husband, which puts her panic and fear over death in another light. Her backstory isn't that focused on, because it's not all that important for her character arc: because while Mahidevran has to get over her past and Şah Sultan tries to consistently set herself for the future, Hatice has to face the events of the present. She's an effective deconstruction of the Princess Classic trope she started up as: an innocent, fragile, kind hearted princess, no sign of trauma whatsoever who strives to create a family of her own, as a bonus. After she meets Ibrahim, she feels like she wants to be in that adventure with him, she not only falls in love with him, but he fills her with hopes and dreams for a better life. Look how when she marries him she wanted to get out of Topkapi as soon as possible and always repeated that she wanted for them to be a family, that she wanted to have piece. Even her love for Ibrahim is much more deep seated than some plain obsession that is only used as a plot device or to prop him up. She's grown with beliefs that have been a part of her life and sometimes she lets them out out of sheer ignorance, no matter how much independence she wants in her personal life. Her whole relationship with Ibrahim is a back and forth conflict between dynasty and family that is only a vector for her arc, not the entirety of it.

It's often ignored how pivotal is Hatice's relationship with Valide. The closeness she has with her, especially compared to her other sisters, shaped up all of Hatice's life long beliefs. Namely Valide is the root of Hatice's love and respect for the dynasty, being next to its female representative her entire life (see also Valide's flashbacks in E58) and witnessing the way she dealt with things, the way she ruled the harem, the way she made decisions. Even Hatice herself considered her as her role model and wanted to be like her. (she told her this in E61) It was as if Valide was a preserver of all the virtues Hatice deemed as worth having. She has a tremendous respect for her and her opinions and this is what brought her to hide her love for Ibrahim more than anything. The respect she has for the ottoman laws and the ottoman dynasty and the ways she got used to them made her to do anything but admitting SS and Valide her true feelings.

Valide is an indirect reason of Hatice's supposedly "inpartial" point of view in the harem that let her judge things more fairly. It's not that Hatice was completely unbiased in her relationships with Mahidevran and Hürrem early on, because oh no, she wasn't, Hatice always was on the dynasty's side in this war, but for her dynasty always advocated fairness and preserving piece and order. She wasn't afraid to call out whoever she thought was wrong at any time and even when her bias had completely (and honestly, rightly in many aspects) impacted her in terms of Hürrem, she wasn't afraid to admit that she was right about Firuze after all. Hatice also has a very reactive personality: she doesn't let anyone provoke her and quickly responds when she's provoked. She's not provoked only about Ibrahim, she's also provoked when it comes to both family and dynasty, overall, seeing Hürrem and Mahidevran quarrel in E11, Fatma and the concubines challenging Hürrem in E47, Mahidevran attempting to kill Hürrem's children in E55, Mihrimah defending Hürrem in E84 etc. Whenever something she cares about is opposed or attacked by someone, she would always spring into action, which is a very consistent trend of her character as a whole.

{There are many reasons why I personally find Hatice sympathetic: she's one of the most ethical characters of the show, acting as a peacekeeper wanting to keep everyone out of their struggle, she's always ready to help, she cherishes love (her wanting to marry Sadıka to Matrakcı), there are so many people she cares about outside of just Ibrahim - Mahidevran, Mustafa, Valide, her sisters and their problems impact her as well, despite of how "self-centered" she may seem at first glance. She, just like MCK Gevherhan, is so humane to everyone she interacts with, trying her very best to empathize with them. (to the point Mahidevran told her in E05 that if she keeps up worrying only about them, she will wither in this palace) Her trauma and circumstance also bring in a lot of empathy for me, because significantly little of it is her own doing, compared to other characters. We see a character that deteoriates both internally and externally often as a consequence of her simply fearing she would lose everyone she loves and that her life would be once again, filled with illnesses and death.}

[Truth be told, I don't get the Hatice hate, like AT. ALL. I don't know about you, but people I've encountered on the Internet couldn't give me a valid reason as to why they hate Hatice so much. They either reduce her to a "whiny", "crying", "spoiled" or "evil" bitch, either say they hate her because she breaks down a lot or because stood up against Hürrem for no reason, which is totally untrue, in my opinion. I genuinely haven't seen one (1) good argument as to why she deserves such ire. They mostly look at a more dimensional version of S03 Hatice and forget everything that set up S03 Hatice, or they hate Hatice exclusively because of S03, which.... eh? I would dare say that there are more reasons to hate Mahidevran than there ever were to hate Hatice (even though the hate directed at Mahidevran is, once again, for all the wrong reasons) and if someone gave me an actually good reason to hate Mahidevran, I would understand, but Hatice? Even her more questionable actions were ultimately provoked by something or someone.]

Her first traumatic experiences in the present is also connected to the kids she's lost. Yeah, giving her more time with her living children and seeing her more as a mother is the one thing I would definetly change in her writing. We didn't get enough of that and it would be a breath of fresh air. But then again, losing so many could've demotivated her and the last time she was pregnant we also had this prevailing, but understandable fear. It also just doesn't play such a big part in her deconstrustion-to-become-flanderization-in-character-development arc.

We gain a gradual, broader perspective into her a bit later in the narrative, and perhaps that eventually broken first impression would cause disappointment - Hatice could be prideful and while she wants to detach from the dynasty for her family, she values her own position and the rights that are offered with it. She could be easily offended by remarks made to startle her. She could be demanding sometimes. But that existed along with her good traits. Hatice was the most reasonable and morally unproblematic character of the main cast overall and by S01/2, that truly showed.

If we refer only to S03 Hatice, it would make a tiny bit more sense for people to not find her that sympathetic. Because while she underwent a good flanderization arc, it's still flanderization and some traits of hers seem to be more present than others in that season, especially knowing the trajectory of said arc. It may look like there isn't a sympathetic reason to do what she does, as if she's like this all of the sudden. But here's the rub: season 3 wasn't supposed to give this much context to Hatice's actions, it's the pay-off of a build-up, the peak of her arc that leads to a resolution. Season 3 wasn't supposed to repeat stuff that has already been established, all Hatice is doing there, has been set up for an entire season, if not more. We already know what's driving her, we already have the sympathetic reasons. That's why all the attention is given to her actions that bring her to tragedy, not to introspective scenes.

Back to Ibrahim's relation to Hatice's character: A common affirmation I hear is that Hatice's rift with Hürrem was caused thanks to Ibrahim and Ibrahim alone. There's so much more to it than that! While we had the scene that started the build-up and the one that ended it be about a possible/already a fact infidelity of Ibrahim's as a parallel, these are only a part of it, not it in its entirety. Keep in mind that the one thing that fully set the upcoming enmity in motion during S03 is Hürrem taking Valide's chambers. And at first Hatice wasn't about to blame Hürrem for it all when she went to tell it to his majesty (her saying to Gülfem that it doesn't matter who told her about the affair) with her claiming that Hü ruined her life only after their confrontation for Valide's chambers. And here we return to the center of Hatice's character: thing is, whether we liked it or not, Hürrem always was a threat to the dynasty in Hatice's eyes. Şah asked her the infamous question: "The dynasty or Ibrahim?" when she was asked why is Hürrem a threat in E81, but I think both are in conjunction, yet independent of each other here. Hatice values tradition just like her mother and Hürrem breaking them all would cause some kind of disturbance. She got distraught right after she was freed and married, claiming that it had to be stopped before it happened, look also how she told Afife Hatun that Hürrem had to be gotten rid of because she caused unrest in the harem! Not only Ibrahim's death, but Valide's death impacted her so much, she thought someone had to supposedly protect the dynasty for what is to come before everything goes haywire and that's what she attempted to do the entire time. In S03A personal motives clearly ran together with the apparent protection of the dynasty (I sometimes like to parallel Hatice's dynasty with Kösem's state in my head, despite that Kösem's urge to protect the state comes more with her role as a ruler and regent and measures out of necessity, while Hatice's comes from willingness to preserve balance and harmony in a more personal level.) and she considered Hürrem as a threat to everything Hatice believes in. She seems to also take on her mother's footsteps in that regard, in a way, using common for Valide methods like sending a concubine to SS etc. She considers Hürrem a threat for her own stability and well-being and that isn't limited to just Ibrahim.

Her relationship with SS is the one that is probably the most connected to Ibrahim, judging by their first more "nuanced" scene for me (him deciding to marry Ibro and Hati) and fallout (the confrontation for Ibrahim's death), but that could be also connected to what Hatice has previously experienced and genuine respect for him as a brother before all the rocky stuff happened. And interestingly, her deep resentment and then despise of him is targeted at him bringing Hürrem to their lives, not simply just killing Ibrahim, though that was also an intensely strong motivator of hers.

Hatice's bond with Mustafa is also strong even before she fell in love with Ibrahim. She also considered him "the future of the dynasty", played with him in the gardens, comforted him in tough times when she could. They didn't have as many scenes together, but the relationship added a good amount of flavor to her character.

A reason why I think Hatice's relationship with Mahidevran is so precious and criminally underrated, is that this is the relationship least centered on Ibrahim, second only to Hatice's with Valide. Their scenes early on is mostly them being there for each other and being happy with each other's moments of good time. They're very bound to each other and are very good friends that still have a dynamic relationship. The temporary S02B fallout between them has everything to do with Hatice's disappointment and disbelief of Mahidevran's own failings. She also threatened something Hatice cared about and did something she didn't expect of her. And that isn't barely noticeable, Hürrem even remarked that Mahidevran is becoming alone in E58. (oh my, I hate this scene with passion, but anyway.) After that their dynamic then remained basically intact for S03, expect that they could act more like allies than friends. But that's a given, due to the more intense events in the palace and the tonal shift of the show.

I find her dynamic with Şah fascinating due to their contrasting personalities and strained, yet loving relationship. The feud between them had enough context given to us through Beyhan's words to Şah in E83: that Hatice not only was Valide's favorite, but she apparently had the life Şah wanted to have, which explains Şah's ambition and supposed distance and secrecy well enough. More backstory would mean destroying the interesting duality in the relationship and wouldn't make Şah's motivation half as interesting and uniquely presented as it was, to be honest. Which is why I find her dynamic with Hatice way more interesting than her dynamic with Hürrem (which is good, too, but pretty generic), but that's also a post for another day. But Hatice is actually the more open person in this dynamic and the one more revealing her feelings. Şah wanted her to move on from her losses, but Hatice objects so strongly because it all has gotten to a completely personal level, with Şah trying to redecorate her castle, it would look like she's trying to change her from the outset, her as a person, which is something Hatice would never agree with. But then again, it's clearly shown that deep down Şah cares about what Hatice wants and is trying to do the best for her in her own way. And the emphasis is again put on family: they still get along and reconcile, setting their differences aside.

Many of Hatice's introspective scenes were with Gülfem and while they talked about Ibrahim many times, we could still see the amount of powerful support between them. Hatice shared everything with Gülfem, it was as if they knew everything about each other. They were each other's comfort.

She showed moral support to Beyhan, as well. That is another familial relationship that shows both casual and profound interactions. It's not there as much, but that's more because of Beyhan's limited screentime, not because of something to do with Hatice.

Even her arc with Ibrahim isn't all about him, but is also tied to the core of her character. The line between dynasty and family drives their whole fallout and if it wasn't there, the conflict between them wouldn't ever take place. Hatice ultimately forgiving Ibrahim is more about her getting out of her own dynastic outlook, which is a relevant character development of hers that happens along with her flanderization. And that plot-line is as important as the flanderization, even more so, and it pushes it forward. It was a resolution of the conflict with family and dynasty in Hatice, not exactly forgiving Ibrahim just for Ibrahim. (that is also a factor, no doubt, because she loves him and he is a part of her character, but not all her character.)

Overall, for me Hatice is a multi-faceted, amazing character that is actually very fleshed out in the span of three seasons. I don't find much issue with her writing: everything that happened with her is logical and well-explained if you look closely enough and I don't want more for her arc. It was original and outstanding for what it was, both as a character concept and a dynastic sultana of the franchise.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #hatice sultan #ask #stuffandthangs

[einsteinsugly]

My T9S/As The World Burns universe is better (and it doesn't take much, honestly). My second-gen character descriptions.

"I spent a year+ on my second-gen characters, mixing the first-gen characters in a blender and making a bunch of unique characteristics, only for this abject laziness to make it on the screen. Gah." As the World Burns is my first-gen/second-gen combo fic in the works, taking place in the early 2000s. Will I post it? Someday. I have so many interconnected plot threads to work out... Summary: 2001. New York, New York. A perfectly sunny day in September changes the political landscape, forever. 2001. Chicago, Illinois. The gang’s getting older, and their kids are growing up. In a rapidly changing world, can they all keep up? And fight against the madness, or will they fail to catch up with the times? J/H, E/D, R/K, K/B, F/R. A combo first-gen/second-gen fic. Main: Katherine "Kate" Erin Forman (born February 28, 1986) (played by a younger Lacey Hannan): I guess, broadly, she's the Jackie of the group. Stereotypically feminine (but a staunch feminist) and incredibly ambitious, the world is her oyster. But really, she's a combination of Kitty and Donna, for the most part. She's wicked smart, a creative perfectionist to her core, a melodramatic extrovert to a fault, has the heart and the guts to make the world a better place, and wants to be a journalist like her mother. And change the world, one pen stroke at a time. Leah Margaret Forman (born January 1, 1990) (played by a younger Katie LeClerc): She's a mix of her parents, and her Aunt Laurie. Some apt descriptors, according to me: -A nerdy tomboy, who fails to fit in with the crowd.

-A loud and proud Gryffindor.

-Stubborn as a mule, but as physically strong as a lion. As curious as a wild cat.

-Manipulative pot-stirrer (but she's not evil like her aunt, don't worry...usually).

-Awkwardly temperamental. Doesn't get along with Jackie, at all, but gets along swimmingly with James (to Jackie's utter dismay). He's her soulmate, he feels the same way, and Aunt Jackie's getting in the way of that, okay?

-Looks older than her age, and she tries to act like it, too. With catastrophic results. Rebecca "Becca" Leona Hyde (born December 5, 1985) (played by a young Jessica Brown-Findlay): I guess, broadly, she's a female Hyde. But she's more than that. She loves alternative fashion, thrifting, cooking and sewing, drawing, skateboarding, fixing up cars, South Park, Daria, Mean Girls, watching America's Next Top Model with her mother...yeah, music is her life, she loves the color black (and red), and struggles in school. Like her father. She likes to live under the bleachers, smoking weed awkwardly with her lot of loser friends, but she lives a life between a rock and a hard place. Between a world that won't accept her for being her, for being weird, grungy, and bi, and an underworld she doesn't want to be swallowed into. She has to walk that fine line, between being boring and mainstream and being a total outcast. James Reginald Hyde (born October 22, 1987) (played by a young Nicholas Hoult): A dangerous mix of Jackie and Hyde. He's badass and rebellious like Hyde, but he's ambitious, more socially adept, and business savvy like Jackie. He's always finding a way to game the system, for the greater good. And maybe sometimes, for the sake of his wallet. But that's beyond the point! Adrian Reginald Forman (born July 18, 1984) (played by a young Dylan O'Brien): I guess he's the Eric of the group, kind of. But really, he's an Eric, Hyde, and Red combo. He's Fez and Laurie's son, and his mother abandoned him when he was two. And he rarely sees eye to eye with his feminine, bisexual father. Instead, he's closer to Red and Kitty, Uncle Hyde, and Uncle Eric. And in regards to the kids, he's closest to James and Leah. He's socially awkward and usually, stereotypically masculine (but without his grandfather's staunchly conservative views). He loves video games (especially Fallout), building and modding PCs, peanut butter, calculators, Alien Ant Farm, soccer, baseball, and the girl next door. Next to his grandparents' formidable abode. Hallie Anna Rivera (born December 24, 1988) (played by a young Daisy Ridley): Leah's new best friend. She's the least developed of the main characters, I'm willing to admit. She's highly mechanical, a physical force to be reckoned with, manipulative and rebellious, and firmly lives on the wrong side of the tracks. Her mother abandoned her as an infant, and she's an emotional wreck over it. She's been raised by her car mechanic father, and several of his girlfriends. He's been a good father to her, but sometimes, he doesn't understand. At all. He can accept her for being a lesbian all he wants, but he'll never truly understand. Minor: Elizabeth "Betsy" Victoria Kelso (born January 15, 1979; yes, she exists!) (I can't think of a faceclaim for her to save my life): Kelso and Brooke's daughter. She's studying to become a doctor. Hannah Michaela Kelso (born November 23, 1984) (played by a younger Lyndsy Fonesca): Kelso and Brooke's daughter. Kind of a modern-day Kitty, with her Red firmly by her side (it's not Adrian, to Kelso and Fez's dismay, though). She's an absolute sweetheart, with a solid head on her shoulders. She loves helping others, and is a staunch animal lover. She wants to work with animals or kids, or stay at home with her future kids. Ashley Maria Tate (born May 4, 1989) (played by a younger Josie Loren): Fez and Rhonda's daughter. She's a sweet, popular cheerleader, with a talent for dancing and acting. And, she thinks, singing.

#that 70s show #that 90s show #jackie and hyde #eric and donna #jackie burkhart #steven hyde #donna pinciotti #eric forman #kelso and brooke #red and kitty #fez and rhonda #fez and laurie

[snowbellewells]

Captain Swan Movie Marathon: “Carolina Moon”

Here is my second submission to the @captainswanmoviemarathon event!! This one is a modern au of the Nora Roberts tv movie (adapted from one of her novels) Carolina Moon. The main female character in the movie is psychic/clairvoyant (I’ll admit, I’m not too sure on the distinction between the two) and I thought her visions and what she goes through in connection to them made a nice real world parallel to Emma’s magic. (There’s also a scene in here where the male lead says something that I could so perfectly see Killian saying to Emma… I just cannot wait to get to that point!)

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this romantic thriller with some murder mystery elements.  There are some instances of abuse and violence in here though - which I feel like I should mention, since that’s a little darker than my typical style. Most of them are in flashbacks of Emma’s past, or in visions she has of victims, more than in the actual present day plot, still I wanted to make people aware before we got too far.

Please enjoy! (I’d love to hear what you think.)

Chapter One

July 1993

The water at their hideaway always feels so good. She could sink into it until her head slips below the surface and never, ever want to come up for air. It’s cooler, more luxurious than even the rich, satiny sheets on the trundle bed those rare nights she gets to sleep over at Rose’s. Emma Swan’s gangly, 13-year-old limbs slice through the murky water as if the constant humidity and sultry air of Storybrooke, South Carolina can’t penetrate here in their little haven. She knows, of course, logically, that the real world isn’t all that far away. The shaded pond she and Rose discovered two summers ago is just a short trek into the woods at the furthest edge of Rose’s family’s boundless acres. Still, it feels removed enough to bring Emma a sense of peace and contentment she gains nowhere else.

Looking over her shoulder to the large, smooth boulder jutting up out of the pond at the bank where they left their flip flops and cutoff denim shorts, she can see her best friend stretched out with her new book where they had spread their towels on the rock’s surface, just in the wash of warming sunlight that streams through the tree branches overhead. Her friend’s flawlessly creamy pale skin is prone to burning, but at the moment Rose seems willing to take the risk for the benefit of lazing cozily to read as she dries in the sun after taking a quick dip. Shaking her head, Emma plunges back under, happy to stay in the chilly water a bit longer herself. She knew as soon as they’d met outside Rose’s house that afternoon and Rose had held the newest entry in her favorite mystery series in her hand that she wouldn’t be able to resist burrowing into those pages for long.

It’s funny, Emma supposes, but that’s exactly what bonded she and Rose in the first place. They might seem different on the surface, but in the end, neither of them quite fit with everyone else, and so they gravitate to each other, and have ever since Emma first arrived in Storybrooke as an eight-year-old orphan. They’re willing to give each other at least one other person who takes them as they are and with whom they won’t have to pretend. Emma doesn’t care if Rose wants to read quietly and tell her about the stories she’s already finished instead of picking out dresses for the next cotillion class or preening in front of the mirror to practice batting her eyelashes to charm boys or bragging to Emma about which ones she intends to kiss. Her sister Ruby, who shares the same thickly shining, burnished mahogany hair and pretty pink lips but little of her fraternal twin’s calming, gentle personality, does enough of that for the both of them. Their mother, a former debutante and southern belle, delights in the one daughter’s traditional coquettishness, and despairs of the other’s shyness, a true throwback to another time who wants nothing more than to see both daughters marry well and retain their places atop the social ladder. In turn, Rose doesn’t mock Emma for her thick, dark-framed glasses or secondhand clothes, nor does she cringe away from the “fits” that sometimes take hold of her friend, making strange, disturbing scenes Emma can’t understand flash across her mind with such intensity they sometimes knock her off her feet. Emma knows Rose’s mother and sister find her an unsuitable and embarrassing companion for Rose, but she is eternally grateful her friend seems able to see the best in anyone - even a lost girl nobody else wants - and so blithely acts as though she has no idea of the rest of her family’s opinions.

Cringing even while still submerged in the pond’s depths and practically invisible, Emma tries not to think of her unwanted visions. Her strict, hypocritical, and more than a bit deranged foster father claims she’s possessed - and more than once has taken her episodes out on her hide. The man swears he’s beating the devil out of her and putting the fear of God in Satan’s place when he takes the thick leather strap to her shoulders, back and legs until she bleeds, but Emma has already lived long enough in a cruel and unfair world to know that his violence and “discipline” have less to do with parenting and concern for her soul, and more to show for his own twisted mind and overindulgence in the bottle. She wants to hide her spells from him, but when they come on her so abruptly and with such power, they are impossible to miss. She can’t fathom how a person like him was deemed fit to take in and care for a child, but it seems to be her lot, and so she simply grits her teeth and survives.

It’s different when the spells happen around Rose; the slight brunette merely rests a cool, steadying hand on Emma’s forehead or her arm until it passes, helps Emma stand until she feels in control again, listens as she attempts to make sense of whatever she’s seen, and most importantly… believes her. If only she could stay in the huge house Rose’s family calls home. She’d cook, clean, do chores, and stay in the servant’s quarters, Emma isn’t picky. It would still be a far sight safer than the situation she had in the rundown shack with the monster who’d been deemed her caretaker. Barring that, she would honestly rather live wild in these woods and survive off the land. She knew which plants and berries were safe to eat, Graham, her friend and a fellow orphan now happily adopted, had taught her how to fish; it wouldn’t be easy, but she’d get by, and at least no one would lay a hand on her again.

This afternoon, those eerie images she sometimes had seem far away as she splashes up out of the water, trying to arc playfully like a mermaid as she breaks the surface. Drawing in a big gulp of air after staying underwater so long, Emma startles at the sound of teasing laughter, and whirls to see three figures on the bank where she and Rose left their shoes and shorts. 

“Well, look here,” calls out a taunting voice that never fails to set Emma’s nerves on edge. “It’s the baby beached librarian and her drowned rat friend!” none other than Emma’s nemesis Killian Jones crows from his vantage point on dry land.

Rose sits up ramrod straight, book still in hand and annoyed scowl on her face at the quiet of their sanctuary being interrupted. She isn’t genuinely angry, though; for all that she and her sister shared little in common, she and her two years older brother are affectionately close. “Shut up, Killy!” she shoots back, throwing in the childhood nickname they all know he hates. “Who asked you to come looking anyway?”

The boy standing next to Killian speaks up next, making Emma scowl just as playfully as Rose had moments before. Graham Hunter might as well be her big brother; he’s the closest thing she’d had to family since her parents were lost in a car crash and she was thrown into the foster care system. Be that as it may, he and Killian Jones are thick as thieves, and he’ll give her a hard time for all he’s worth in while in the presence of his buddy. “We just wanted to swim,” he calls across the water to the two girls, smirking at Emma, now standing in the water with one hip jutting out and hands planted on her waist. “How were we supposed to know you two were infesting it?”

“Ha!” Emma jeers back, the affront plain in her voice; despite the fact that the entire routine is like a practiced girls-versus-boys exchange they’ve all engaged in countless times. There isn’t much else to do for entertainment in their sleepy little one-horse town. “You idiots know this is Rose and I’s hideaway, fair and square!”

“Well, Rose’s anyway,” a third voice cuts in snidely.

The cruel jab reminds Emma once more that she is just a charity case, quite possibly only included in anything at all because of her friend’s kind heart, and causes her gaze to cut sharply to the third member of the boys’ little crew, hanging back slightly in the shadows behind Killian and Graham as he always does. Her green eyes narrow to slits in genuine dislike and suspicion. Where before her animosity was largely for show, when they land on Walsh Ozman it is all too real.

She has never understood why the other two boys - jokers and annoyances though they may be, but good guys when it comes right down to it - hang out with Walsh at all.  Where Graham and Killian are much more cut from the same cloth - athletic, outgoing, well-liked and pleasant - Walsh is a splindy, sniveling character, complaining and whining whatever their little trio gets up to. He lives not far from Emma’s foster father’s cabin with his single mother - a bushy-haired redhead who seems strangely overprotective and attached to her only child. Most people give the property a wide berth, except when high schoolers teepee it the whole month of October, and the general town consensus is that Zelena Ozman might be a witch and to steer clear. Still, beyond all of that, Emma might have been able to look past the boy’s circumstances and see him for himself - she of all people knew the gift it was not to be judged by where a person came from - if Walsh hadn’t simply given her “the willies”. Even standing too close to him made the fine hairs at the nape of her neck stand on end - and not in the way that nearness to Killian sometimes did; an altogether much more pleasant tingle, even if she was just as unable to explain one as the other.

“We could just take their things,” Walsh suggests, holding up the threadbare, faded jeans Emma had left on the bank. “Make them walk back in their skivvies.” The wicked smile on his face makes Emma’s stomach turn over sickly.

Something sharp flashes in Jones’ eyes, his nostrils flaring slightly and his head giving a subtle shake of dissent that Emma can see even at the distance she stands away from him. Protectiveness, chivalry, or maybe the honor of a southern gentleman passed down to him through generations of his impressive family line, whatever it is, it sparks to life in his eyes at that moment as he quashes Walsh’s mean-spirited suggestion in no uncertain terms. “That’s my little sister you’re talking about Oz,” he growls, smacking the worn material from the smaller’s boy’s hands, even if the article of clothing isn’t Rose’s at all.

Emma feels her breath rush back into her lungs, though she continues to watch the guys warily for whatever they might do or say next. Before long, they grow bored of standing around and move on, hollering out age old taunts of “Bye, losers” and “Hey, smell ya later” to Emma’s derisive snort and Rose completely ignoring them to flip open her book again.

However, even with the intruders gone, it seems as if the perfect comfort of their retreat has been shattered by the unsettling interruption.  Soon, Emma wades to the shore and Rose clambers down from her perch, to dress once more and return to the world outside. For a moment, as she refastens her jeans around her skinny waist, Emma feels a strange prickling along the fine hairs on her arms… like they’re being watched. She jerks around, searching the surrounding trees and brush, but can’t see or hear a thing.

Rose’s small hand takes hers, snapping Emma out of the moment. “What is it?” she whispers, only true caring in her voice. “Did you sense something?”

Emma nods, but can’t give her suspicions voice. Usually her vision are clearer than that - this had just been heavy breathing and like looking at herself and Rose through another person’s eyes, outside her own body.

Rose stooped to grab the little canvas bag she’d bought along with water bottles, towels, and a second book in it. “Hey, don’t worry, okay?” she offers, hopeful and kind as always. “You’ll figure it out. Wanna meet back out here tonight? Secret Sister bonfire?” she winks mischeivously. “I have to get to dinner now. You know how Mama hates it if I’m not washed up and properly attired for the evening meal - or a second late. But we can talk some more then, maybe you’ll remember more and it will be clearer.”

Emma nods gamely. “The stars’ll be beautiful by midnight,” she suggests. “And we’ll definitely have the place all to ourselves.”

“Since we were so rudely interrupted,” Rose chimes in with a giggle and roll of her eyes.

“Shake on it, pinkie swear,” they say together in practiced unison, executing a complex handshake that ends with their pinkies hooked together and wide, matching grins on both their faces.

“Thanks Rose,” Emma whispers sincerely, trying to speak around the lump in her throat as if it’s no big deal. “I’ll be out here as soon as I can sneak away.”

Rose, for her part, wraps her taller, golden-haired friend into a tight, momentary hug. “Hey, we’re Secret Sisters! You can count on me.  I’ll see you then!”

They part ways at the edge of the forest, Emma heading to the rundown cabin that serves as her nightmarish version of a home and Rose to the pristine, Jones mansion standing tall over all the surrounding land. Rose looks back over her shoulder with a smile and wave that bolsters Emma, and the memory fades back into the haze of the past…

Eighteen years later….

September 2011

The blaring of the horn as a sports car whizzed by, barely missing the nose of Emma’s beat-up yellow VW where it had begun to edge out into the country intersection jarred her back to the present with a gasp and painful jolt to her chest. Panting for a moment as she gripped the steering wheel, Emma tried to clear her head and calm the pounding of her heart at the near-miss.

‘Get it together,’ she berated herself. It might have seemed like only yesterday as she remembered that sunny afternoon at the swimming hole, but that day had been nearly two decades ago. She was a grown woman, had made a way for herself, fighting tooth and nail for every step forward, and she answered to no one. She had learned to stand up for herself, to control her visions and use them for good, and was a special consultant for the NYPD. But, more than all of that, she had come back to this place to find peace, to lay to rest the ghosts that followed her everywhere else she’d gone in the years between, once and for all. If she expected other to leave the past in the past, she’d first have to manage it herself.

She’d had no way to know as she and Rose parted that afternoon with promises and plans for later that it would be the last time she would ever see her friend. Emma had harbored the pain and the guilt and the unanswered questions ever since. Finally, it was time to meet the gazes of all of those who’d stared at her in suspicion before she’d been packed up and moved away once more, and it was time she found answers. She wasn’t the scared, whipped, mistreated adolescent she had been at 13. What she had lived through then wasn’t her fault, nor was what had happened to Rose that muggy July midnight. 

And if she had to return to Storybrooke, South Carolina to lay that burden down… well, it was long past time she did.

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