#like this is what the woke mind virus crazies are scared of

[salamanderinspace]

At some point it is important to challenge the assertion that the way people engage with art reveals some deep truth about their values or even their conventions because it doesn't hold up to scrutiny. Like I get being scared that the popularity of a movie or book is Revealing Something about the rest of the human race but it is not really revealing anything, certainly nothing unified. There's no way of guessing why people give their attention to Things. Even they themselves do not know.

#media criticism #objectivity #subjectivity #like this is what the woke mind virus crazies are scared of #that a story with gays signals a cultural consensus about how to live #it doesnt #it doesnt even signal real acceptance

[buckyownsmylife]

You and I - Henry Cavill smut

The one where Henry comes over to fix your computer

Warnings: reader is a henry fan, pandemic theme, lockdown and quarentine-ing, little bit of second-hand embarrassment?, heatwave, henry is feeling deprived in this one, oral sex (f), masturbation (f), dirty talk, brief hairpulling, the name of God in vain, Henry’s monster dick,  laughing and teasing while fucking, hand over throat but no actual choking, orgasm control, p in v, unprotected sex

Word count: over 3k, ‘cause I got no chill

A/N: this was inspired by a tik tok someone requested me to write a fic about it. Obviously I took it in a different direction because can I ever follow guidelines? No. I do love this fic, though. Thank you to @lokiscollar​ for giving this a read for me!

Y/N’s P.O.V

Driving to a secluded location to spend lockdown in felt like a wonderful idea. There was a working wi-fi connection, so I could work remotely from the seashore cabin without any problem whatsoever, and the view was obviously to die for.

I did not expect someone else to have the same idea as me. The cabin next door had been occupied on the same day that I arrived, and much to my surprise, I recognized my new neighbor as someone I never expected I’d come to meet in my entire life: an actor. An actor I actually had a crush on.

Thankfully, the situation didn’t exactly call for mingling. I ran off to hide inside my cottage as soon as I realized who he was, occupying myself with fixing everything for the next day instead of daydreaming about the man next-door.

There would be time for that later, once I got in bed. But weirdly enough, that was the only time I really thought about him during those first weeks of quarantine. Every once in a while I’d get the random wave of curiosity about what he was doing - what did Henry Cavill get up to while spending lockdown by himself? But that was pretty much it.

I woke up every day, had breakfast, worked and then went to bed. Sometimes I’d sit by the balcony and watch the birds fly, taking in the scenery and breathing in the salty water. Even as a kid, I’d always loved the sea. It was comforting, so it made sense for me to turn to it in such a stressful time.

Sometimes I’d hear a bark or two, reminding me of the man who was staying in the other cabin, and it made me smile. I always did like his dog, whenever I saw pictures of him.

I hoped they were alright and that the absence of any human contact wasn’t getting to them, even though it was getting to me. I could feel my own social abilities - which weren’t exactly stellar before - slowly becoming decrepit, and I was scared to think of what my first human interaction would be like once lockdown was over.

I just hadn’t anticipated it would be come so soon.

The morning began as it usually would. I took my shower, I had my breakfast, and I sat in front of the computer with my coffee in hands, ready to start working for the day.

Only the computer wasn’t ready for it, too.

“What?” I talked to myself - something that had become more usual the longer lockdown went on. “Oh, no, no, no…” The situation was looking drearier the longer I stared at my lifeless screen.

Looking up at the clock, I considered my options. Even supposing I could get someone to come to this middle of nowhere to fix it, there was no way I’d be able to get it done before work started.

Sighing, I pushed away from my designated desk to call my boss. Thankfully, he understood and I was left to repair the damn thing and come up with a solution for the next day.

My heart ached at the prospect of having to abandon my refuge because of an electronic malfunction. And that is, if there even was anyone willing to fix the damn thing, considering the pandemic and the rules of social distancing. That’s when suddenly, an idea popped up.

I remembered all the fuss a few months back over a video of Henry assembling a computer all by himself. There was no way someone with that much hardware prowess couldn’t at least know enough to fix this simple laptop.

With that thought in mind, I gathered all of my courage to leave my little shack and make my way to the neighboring cabin. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door, and after a few seconds of silence - he was probably surprised and certainly not expecting anyone - a voice sounded from within.

“Who is it?” Now, I had thought this through. If this man came as far as I had come to this damn forgotten town, it was because 1) he wanted peace and quiet and 2) he was as terrified of the virus as I was. So I knew what I needed to say - what I would like to hear if the roles were reversed.

“It’s your neighbor. My name’s Y/N. I’m so sorry to disturb, but my computer broke and I need it to work and you’re the only person I’m 100% sure has been socially distancing for long enough not to put my life in risk.” After all, I would have seen if someone had come to visit him. I didn’t need to say this because both of us knew it. “Would you pretty pretty please come and check it out?”

Silence followed my question and I sighed, rubbing my sweaty forehead as I knew this was a long-shot. “I understand if you’re unable or uncomfortable doing so, I just figured I’d ask. Thanks anyway!”

I had already turned my back to his front door when I heard it swinging open, the pitter patter of paws following close behind. My eyes took in the man in front of me for only a second before looking down at the dog at his feet, head tilted in interest as he analyzed me.

Immediately, my eyes lit up. “Kal!” I exclaimed, kneeling down to let the animal sniff me so I could pet it. My heart stopped working for a second when I realized what I’d done, though.

“Sorry!” I looked up at him from my kneeling position, trying to ignore how awkward it was, considering what I was close to. “I-I do know who you are, I’m not gonna lie about that.”

I straightened up as he kept looking at me in a way I couldn’t quite define. Neither could I determine how it made me feel, just that it made me avert my gaze so I’d stare at my feet.

“So… Are you gonna help me?” He chuckled at my question, closing the door behind him and taking a step in my direction, making me fumble as I instinctively stepped back.

“Sure.” It was the first thing he spoke to me, but we walked back to my own place in silence. He had his hands in his pockets as Kal followed us closely, his tongue hanging outside his mouth as he happily explored the outside for this little while. “Come on in.”

The way the cottage was set up left little space for him to wonder where he should be helping me. The desk in which I had prepared my set-up stood right by the wall to our left, and there he went without me having to point it out.

I watched a drop of sweat roll down the nape of his neck and fall under his tank top, distracting me as I licked my lips at the sight of it. Then his head turned to look at me and I realized that he was waiting for an answer to a question I hadn’t heard.

“Yeah, huh?” He chuckled again, making my face feel warm - an not (only) because of the overwhelming heat.

“Is it okay if I disconnect the wi-fi?” I wave my hand dismissively, shrugging.

“As long as you’re able to fix this, you can do whatever the hell you want.” I got the impression that I amused him, but he didn’t say anything else as he got to work on my (seemingly) dead computer.

Minutes went by of complete silence, safe from the sounds of typing and metal as Henry worked on the machine and I tried not to bite my nails. Finally, he pulled away from the screen and put his hands on his hips as if assuming some sort of decided stance - but if it was a good or bad thing, I couldn’t tell.

“Tell me, doctor.” I asked, pushing myself away from the sofa to approach him. The smell of a man’s sweat really had no right to be this arousing. “Is it life or death?” Henry turned to stare at me with a quirked eyebrow, and in the seconds it took for him to answer, I was once again distracted by just how hot he was.

“Sorry, what?” I asked when he became silent and I realized he’d asked me something I hadn’t heard once more. His smile said he was annoyed and entertained at the same time. “Sorry, you’re hot, it’s hot, and I can’t think straight,” I sighed, brushing the hair away from my eyes as I pressed my palms against them, trying to pull myself together.

“I swear to God, I’m not crazy.” I tried to look him directly as I said that, but was surprised at what I saw when our gazes met. There was a peculiar sense of yearning that he exuded, something I couldn’t quite place but that took my breath away all the same, especially when he took my silence as an invitation to invade my personal space.

“If you want me so badly, all you have to do is ask.” Silence fell heavily and I was out of breath just from his words - not a good sign. My throat felt dry, too dry, so I swiped my tongue over my bottom lip as I struggled to say something.

“W-why, though?” He tilted his head to the side, eyes inscrutable while he judged my question, trying to understand where it came from just like I was trying to understand his interest in me, when he suddenly smiled.

“I figured it’s a nice way for you to pay me back.” It took me a second to understand what he was referring to, and then my eyes darted from the computer to him, my mouth falling open in offense until he started chuckling. “I’m joking!” But even so, the question remained…

“Sweetheart…” He spoke, voice low and velvety as two strong hands suddenly enveloped my hips. “You’re seriously underestimating how hot you are.” I didn’t know what to say, so I had to make sure I’d hear him right.

“M-me?” A predatory smirk took over his face, slowly. I gulped under its intensity, feeling much like prey as he started to back me against the couch. I fell on top of it with a gasp, and another one escaped me when he used my ankles to pull me closer.

“I wanna eat you out.” It was all I got as an answer, but I can’t say that I minded it. As he dropped to his knees before me, pulling down my underwear before spreading my legs for his eyes to take in, it felt like I got a response from the gesture in itself.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I ate pussy?” The unexpected question made me choke on my own saliva, as he chuckled darkly in amusement at my bashfulness. I could only breathe through my mouth when he leaned down to run his tongue on the edge of my lips, slowly acquainting himself with my taste, making me moan softly.

“I-I definitely and decidedly don’t.” He seemed to like this answer, understand that it delimited exactly the type of fan that I was: the kind that knew what he was and what he liked - his dog, his computer - but not someone who was obsessed with his entire dating history, eager to know his every secret.

The longer Henry ate me out, the clearer it became just how long it’d been since he’d done this. It was obviously something he liked - the way he buried his face against my cunt and engulfed it entirely with his open mouth showed so. And the fact that he licked me and sucked me like he was a starved man? This was a man denied of a pleasure he genuinely enjoyed, that much I was certain of.

“Do you like this?” He asked once he inserted one of his thick fingers inside of me, already stretching me beyond what I could do with my own hand.

“How could I not?” I managed to moan a response, making him chuckle.

“Show me how to find it,” he instructed, eyes sparkling with determination. “I want to find your sweet spot.” I’d never had someone I was with so interested in giving me pleasure before.

Hypnotized, my fingers circled his wrist as best as I could, slowly moving him to run his digits over the top of my channel. He knew when he found it because I cried out for him, closing my eyes momentarily.

“Cum for me,” he ordered, and how could I deny him that, especially when he was looking at me with those darkened eyes? He milked my orgasm until my pussy had stopped clenching around him, but the second that it was done, he growled, getting up to his knees. “Gonna fuck you now.”

He pulled me by my hair, making me moan out loud as he slowly inserted his monster cock inside of me. “Oh, God!” His groan had me panting, cunt clenching around his thickness. I couldn’t understand how I was able to take it, but I was glad that was the case. “So… tight…”

Through his grip on my hair, he pulled me to deposit quick kisses down my jaw. “You take me so well, darling.” It was a compliment I was proud to receive, even though I wasn’t too sure how I managed to earn it in the first place.

“I honestly don’t know how,” I admitted, gasping when he slowly dragged his cock out to slam it in me, but I instinctively pulled my hips away, earning an amused chuckle from him.

“Come back here,” he ordered, already pulling me back to spear me with his painfully hard length. I’d have to be inhuman not to cry out at the feeling of his bulbous head bumping against my cervix. “Are you scared?” He joked as I bit on my bottom lip not to give in and laugh. “You think I’m too big?”

“You’re more than enough, I’ll tell you that.” Now, that had his own laugh escaping his chest, making my body tremble underneath his, inadvertently getting some friction between the both of us. It earned me a moaned out, “Yes…” that got his attention back to where I hoped it would be, and as his eyes settled on me, I briefly wondered if I was prepared for what was to come.

“But now that you got all of me inside of you, do you really want to go?” The whispered question made me shiver. I never expected him to be the type to talk dirty, but then again, I never expected I’d be fucked by him, either.

“No.” It was all the permission he needed.

“Then let me fuck you hard.” And hard he did fuck me. He was hard inside of me, it probably would have been painful for him if he wasn’t so desperately trying to alleviate it by frantically fucking me against the couch.

It was the most deliciously torturous experience I’d ever gone through. I had to bite my lip while I held onto his shoulders for dear life, trying to stop my moans from escaping because I was sure that for once, I’d become a screamer.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Henry didn’t appreciate my efforts to keep his ears from deafening. “What’s wrong?” He questioned, fingers tightening on my hips. “I thought you wanted this.”

Confused, all I could think to say was, “I-I do.”

“Then let me hear you,” he insisted. “You know you can scream all you want. We’re all alone up here on the coast.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. And with that reassurance, I allowed my head to fall back and my mouth to fall open, my moans flowing freely from my body as Henry kept fucking me.

“This is so much better than touching myself in search of a release,” he mumbled at some point, like he was talking to himself. “I was so damn lonely and you have such a tight little pussy.”

Being fucked by him felt like a religious experience. Henry somehow knew the map to my pleasure, easily bringing me to the brink of bliss before I had even managed to wrap my head around this turn of events.

My moans grew louder as I climbed higher and higher, but before I could fully tip over his hand curled around my throat, not constricting any air, just calling my attention.

“Ask for permission, baby.” Just the order had me clenching around him, prompting him to release a moan of his own. All the while, I was groaning in frustration, trying to control myself or say what he wanted me to say, but all that came out of me was, “Goddamn! You can’t say stuff like that.” Henry’s laughter flowed freely once more, making my heart skip a beat. “Why not?”

“Because you’re a fucking movie star and I am not up to fall in love with you.” That had his eyebrows raising in surprise, the smile disappearing from his face before it came back as a teasing smirk.

“Oh, so this is a one-time thing.” The taunting manner in which he said it surprised me in turn, so I hesitated before nodding. I mean, of course it was, right? He didn’t even know me. This was strictly sexual and physical, I would not be fooled by my own hormones. “My cock is not enough for you to want to get to know me some is that it?” … Was he testing me?

“Yes.” His smirk only grew at the word. “This is a one-time thing.”

“We’ll see about that.” His fingers ran down my body to graze over my clit. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep it in, knowing I was going to lose. Eventually, as my thighs began to tremble, I gave in altogether.

“Please, let me cum, please.” His eyes softened at my broken and desperate plea, hand gripping my cheeks as he finally nodded.

“Keep staring at me as you cum,” he commanded, still just as bossy. “Show me how pretty you look when you cream all over my dick.” That was all I needed to succumb to the pleasure he was subjecting me to.

I felt his cock, still hard as it pumped rope after rope of cum inside of me, and by the time I was able to open my eyes again, he was panting over me, sweat dripping from his forehead onto my face.

I didn’t have the time to think about what I should do - push him away, try to pretend this didn’t happen - because the second I began to adjust on the couch, he pulled me to rest against his chest.

“Let’s stay here for a little while,” he quietly asked me. “Then we’ll figure out if there’s enough room for me to take you in your bed.”

#my fics #henry cavill smut #henry cavill #smut #henry cavill request #henry cavill requests #my requests #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill reader #henry cavill reader insert #henry cavill reader inserts #rpf #fanfiction #henry cavill oneshot

[99liv3s]

Be Careful What You Wish For

Lena laughed as she completed the last question of this little online contest she was participating in. The invitation had appeared in her email one day along with a link, and she had curiosity followed that link to a website that described the contest. All Lena would have to do is answer a few questions correctly before other "participants" and she would be the winner of "her fondest wish!!" Lena had laughed at this, thinking this was a fun little game someone had put up, and though she did not take it seriously at all, she decided to join in the fun. Where was the harm in it?? She was bored at the moment after all.

The "contest" consisted of a few straightforward questions that she was easily able to answer. Shaking her long blonde hair out of her face, Lena's bright blue eyes watched as the site processed her answers, then a message popped up on her screen: "Congratulations, you have won the contest!! You may now make your wish!! What do you desire??" Lena giggled as she jokingly pondered this question, then typed in the first thing that popped into her head: "I wish to live forever!!" Laughing softly as she hit the send button, saw "Your wish is granted! Thank you for playing!" And closed the window, Lena thought, "This was a cute, fun little distraction, but now I gotta finish chores!"

A couple hours later, Lena plopped into her living room lounge chair, rubbing her belly. She felt somewhat sick and bloated, but she was also exhausted from laundry and housework, so she figured she was just hungry and worn out. Shaking off the feeling, she decided that after she rested for a while, she'd make herself a sandwich. Another hour passed, with Lena watching TV when she looked down and saw a shock!! Her normally small petite belly had expanded outward, making her look very pregnant!! She gasped in horror, and jumped to her feet, a mistake that nearly sent her crashing to the floor, for she was not used to the balance of her new belly. She felt heavy, and full, confused as to how this had happened to her! "I'm having an allergic reaction, she thought anxiously. "That has to be it!!" "I've caught some sort of virus and I'm having a reaction to..." Her thoughts trailed away as she felt movement in her belly, and she absentmindedly rubbed it. "I... I can't be pregnant," she blurted out to her empty house. "I've never had sex... this has to be a bad dream, right??"

Lena waddled into her bedroom and reached the nearby bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked nine months pregnant, her belly hanging out of the clothes she had been wearing on the body that had been so small and slim just a few hours ago. She was still confused and scared as to what had happened to her when suddenly, she doubled over as a painful contraction hit her. Lena gasped as she felt pressure build up, then a gush of water leaked out of her, soaking her bottoms.

"UUUGGHHH", Lena moaned as she slowly made her way back into her bedroom. She reached the bed and climbed on it, as she felt something heavy drop onto her hips. Frantically, she kicked off her pants as she felt huge pressure in her pussy. She could not help but push, screaming in pain. "AAAAHHHHHH!!" Lena felt a burning sensation as whatever was coming out of her began to crown. She struggled to get her panties off, panting and crying as the pain peaked. As the head emerged farther, causing a bulge to form in her underwear, she screamed a high pitched scream and whined as the burning and pressure worsened. She knew she had to get her panties off, or it would block the baby that she was somehow delivering, so she gritted her teeth through the pain and pulled her underwear down to her feet. She then began kicking, not just to get the panties off her feet, but because the pain was so bad, it caused her to thrash around like crazy. She whined and moaned and cried as she felt the heavy head slowly push out, stretching her pussy wide. Screaming, she pushed, willing this process to go faster. "THIS HURTS!!!" she yelled, though she knew no one else was in the house. Finally, she felt a pop and knew the head had finally gotten out. Without waiting another second, Lena pushed, brushing her sweaty blonde hair out of her face, and felt relief as the baby left her body.

For about a minute, Lena lay there, shaking, hardly able to believe what had just happened to her. Then, something in her mind clicked as she realized "Wait, if I just had a baby, shouldn't it be crying??" Lena slowly moved around so she could pick up the baby she had just birthed, noting three distinct things about it: First, it did not have a umbilical cord attached to it, just a belly button. Second, the baby was a girl, with blonde hair the same general shade as Lena's, and third, the baby was not crying, but Lena could clearly see that it was alive and healthy, almost content. Her eyes were closed and she moved around and kicked, as if she had been born for a while and was just simply sleeping. Lena held her baby and stared at it for the longest time before realizing how exhausted she was. Afraid she might accidentally turn over on the baby as she slept, Lena decided she would not sleep with the baby in her own bed, and so the new mother gingerly got up and found the softest part of her bedroom's carpet she could find and placed the baby gently onto it, laying her on her back. Thinking that she would try to figure all this out tomorrow, she fell backward onto her bed and fell asleep.

When Lena awoke the next morning, her first thought was, "Oh God, what a horrible nightmare!! It felt so real!" As she rose up, she realized something was wrong. She was lying on the floor, naked. She looked over her body, thinking. "Did I fall out of bed??" She got to her feet and then her blue eyes fell upon the bed, and she screamed. The shirt and bra she had been wearing last night were lying on the bed, being worn by a skeleton. Lena trembled as she looked around the room, her mind racing. After a while, she remembered where she had placed the baby she had birthed... it had been lying in the exact spot where Lena had woke up, but as she now looked at that spot, there was no baby there, nor any sign there ever was. As she continued to ponder this, terrified, she also realized that her body felt better than it had ever felt in her life, almost as if it were a new....body....

Lena rushed into the bathroom and vomited as realization hit her. She had given birth to herself. Somehow, after she had fallen asleep, her body died, and her consciousness or soul or whatever had transferred to the baby, which had apparently grown rapidly. She looked herself over, noting that her body seemed to be the same age as it had been last night, in her late 20s. "How is this possible??" She breathed. Lena made her way back into the bedroom, noticing at once that the bones were now gone, leaving only the clothes she was wearing last night, and what appeared to be sweat and other bodily fluids. Lena shuddered at the thought, but did not know what else to do. Her tummy grumbled, and she realized she was starving... of course, this new body had not eaten yet.

Hours later, Lena had eaten, dressed, and had gone into work. Sitting at her desk, her mind was not on her work, however. She could not get her odd situation out of her mind, and the more she pondered on it, the more it made sense that the body she now inhibited was the one she gave birth to. "The baby's features were just like mine," she thought. "Female, petite body, blonde hair... if I saw its eyes, I bet they were blue, just like mine!" "I never had sex, so the baby could only be another me!" "But, how??" "How is this possible??" "What caused this to happen to me??" Lena spent all of her workday lost in thought, and after a while, convinced herself that it had to have been a nightmare. She must have hallucinated those bones, and just simply did not remember taking off her clothes, or falling out of bed during the night. As for her body feeling better than it ever had?? Maybe that was just a result of healthy living lately!! When she arrived home, Lena grabbed her bra and shirt from off her bed and threw it into the laundry. She then looked around the room, and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she told her mind it was a vivid nightmare, and to forget about it, and get on with her life.

Two days had passed, and Lena had not given the incident another thought. She had been shut up in her office, preparing an important presentation for her boss to give soon. Her friend and co-worker Marianne had come by to collect the finished presentation, and Lena stood to hand it to her. "Excellent," Marianne said "Lena, this is just what our boss needs to secure that new agreement!!" "You always come through when we need it!" Marianne's brown eyes looked Lena over. "Oh, by the way, congratulations!! When are you due??" Lena looked at her friend confused. "What??" she asked, before looking down at herself and barely stifling a gasp. She was sporting a small bump, almost as if she were about 3 or 4 months pregnant. Her mind raced in panic as her friend was still speaking: "Boy or girl??" After a few seconds, in which Lena composed herself, she smiled and said, "Oh, it's a girl!" Marianne nodded. "I don't know why you didn't tell me or any of us before now, but again, congratulations!" Lena smiled as Marianne left the room, the Lena scrambled for the bathroom. As she closed the door behind her, she collapsed against it, breathing rapidly. "This can't be happening!" She thought. "I can't be pregnant!!" "This isn't happening again!!" "That was just a nightmare... wasn't it??" She glanced into the mirror, her shining blue eyes staring back at her, eyeing her small bump, and she groaned softly. "What the hell am I going to do??"

After she got home, Lena decided that she was not going back to work for a while. This proved to be a good idea, for as the week passed, her bump grew rapidly, and by the time she reached the weekend, she looked ready to pop. She had called the office, telling them she had caught a virus, and that she would be working from home for a while. This worked perfectly, except apparently Marianne began to worry about her, as she had begun calling Lena everyday. Lena assured her she was fine, just sick, and when Marianne asked about "the baby," Lena told her that she need not worry about it.

On the day Lena realized a full week had passed since she had had her supposed nightmare, she tried to get out of bed when she was hit by painful contractions and pressure. "Oooohhh", she moaned, rocking back and forward on the bed, clutching her belly. Hoping that walking might help the contractions, Lena got shakily to her feet and began taking small steps around her bedroom. With each step, Lena felt the baby inside her drop lower and lower. Eventually, she could not take it anymore and she dropped to her knees, crying out in agony. She spread out on all fours, her large belly hanging down and her blonde hair in her face, inwardly thankful she had been going to bed naked lately. Tears streamed from her blue eyes as she wailed and pushed, her butt and vagina high in the air. The baby's head tunneled roughly through her birth canal as she panted and moaned. Her legs shook with pain and cramps as Lena let out another roar of pain. As the head began to peek out of her, she felt the burning in her pussy that signaled the baby's crowning. "OOHH!! OOOHHH GOD!!" She yelled. "AAHHH IT HURTS!! IT'S BURNING!!!!" she cried and grabbed the top of the bed, pulling herself into a semi-squatting position, hoping gravity would help. Lena threw her head back and cried out loudly as she felt the head seem to split her vagina open. Bearing down, she pushed until the head was hanging out between her legs. Stopping only to pant and catch her breath, Lena reached down with her left hand and felt the baby's head. When another contraction hit, she squatted and groaned as she gave another push, and the baby dropped onto the carpet.

After spending a few minutes to rest, Lena looked down at the baby. Like before, it was a little girl, not attached, and not crying, but clearly alive. Lena held and hugged the baby against her chest, thinking rapidly. "It wasn't a nightmare, unless I'm having it again!" "What do I do??" "Do I dare fall asleep again??" Thinking back, Lena was convinced that giving birth this second time seemed more difficult and more painful than the first, but she was not sure. Realizing that she was exhausted and hungry, Lena placed the baby in the center of her bed and staggered to the kitchen. Her body after giving birth was sore and weak, but everything seemed to be over. She made a quick sandwich and collapsed on her sofa in the living room, lost in thought. As she ate silently, random questions popped into her head, and she decided that today, since it was early in the morning when she had given birth, she was going to experiment.

12 hours later, with night falling outside, Lena felt more confused than ever. After eating earlier, she had returned to her room and started touching and talking to the baby, in an attempt to get it to open its eyes, but it never did. Lena then tried to feed it, holding it up to one of her breasts, but nothing happened. On an upside, there was no diaper to change either, for the baby did not seem to have to poop or pee. If not for the breathing and it occasionally moving around, Lena would have sworn the baby was just a realistic looking doll. Tired, Lena decided to try one last experiment before she went to sleep. She had brought the baby into the living room and placed her on the sofa. Lena then returned to her bedroom, thinking that if she woke up on the sofa tomorrow, then it confirmed her theory about what was happening, assuming she could fall asleep will so many anxious thoughts in her head. However, as soon as her head hit the pillow, Lena drifted off immediately.

Lena turned and felt herself hit the floor. Snapping awake, she found herself lying in front of her sofa. She let out a soft scream and jumped to her feet. Rushing into her bedroom, she found her bed soaking wet, and only the pajamas she had worn to bed as part of her experiment. Trembling, she backed against the wall and slid down it onto the floor, burying her face in her hands. "It's true!" She thought. "Everytime I fall mysteriously pregnant, I give birth to a baby that will eventually become my new body!" "But, why?? And how??" "Am I cursed??"

Lena again did not go back to work. She decided to spend the day on the internet, searching for answers, ignoring a missed call from Marianne. Scouring the internet, she tried to determine if anyone else had ever been in her situation before, but she was unsuccessful. She had even posted her situation in a few forums on the deeper parts of internet, but only got responses telling her she had a vivid, or a sick imagination, and that her "ideas" would make a good story. Frustrated, Lena was getting ready to shut down her computer, before noticing the new email icon, and something clicked in her mind. She was reminded about that strange online contest she had taken, and realized that it was right after that when all these strange things had started happening to her. Lena accessed her search history and located the website where she had played the contest. She saw that message thanking her for playing and then found the information she had overlooked before. "Questions??" It said, with a phone number under it. Her heart racing, Lena grabbed her smartphone and called the number immediately!

After two rings, a kind female voice answered, telling Lena that she had called the helpline for the online contest. Lena told the woman everything that had happened since winning the contest, expecting the woman to hang up, laugh, or even tell her that she had no idea what Lena was talking about. However, to her surprise, the woman answered "Of course!" "What is happening to you is what you wished for." Lena fell silent confused. "I wish to live forever," the woman said as if she was reading it, then said with a giggle, "That wish has come true." "With each week, your body produces a brand new replacement, and once you give birth to it, it becomes your new body." "Constantly changing to a fresh body each week means you will never grow old and die." "Congratulations!!" Lena gasped in shock. "How do I make it stop??" She asked the woman. "Stop??" The voice repeated. "Why would you want to??" "Your wish is granted." "I didn't think that was serious," Lena yelled in a pleading voice. "Please, you have to help me!!" "It hurts to give birth every week" "I don't want this wish anymore!!" "Please get rid of it!" "That can't be done," the woman responded. "All granted wishes are final!" "Have a nice day!" With that, the woman hung up. Lena tossed her phone to the side and collapsed into her chair, crying. "I AM cursed!!" She blurted out!!

Lena called and quit her job, thinking that, in order to avoid awkward questions, she would have to find a job that allowed her to work from home. Three days later, she had accepted an online application for a work from home proofreader, which was similar to what she did before, but would allow her to avoid human contact and submit her work online. She was already showing another small pregnant bump by this time, and she absentmindedly rubbed it as she finished chores around the house. Though a part of her mind had subconsciously accepted her new life situation, Lena was still dismayed that she seemed to be stuck in this cycle of "rebirth" forever. She had continued to search the internet for any kind of hope or help, even going so far as to search for unusual births, frequent birth fetish sites, and even post about her situation in various birth related forums, but it seemed that her situation was unique, or else no one else had gone public with it. Her failure to find even a shred of hope caused her to fall into a kind of depression, and she only half-heartedly threw herself into her new work, knowing that she still needed money regardless.

After six days had passed, Lena was lying spread out on her sofa, her hand resting on her large belly as she read a romance novel, trying anything to help take her mind off things, when a knock at her door made her jump. Confused, Lena rose up and waddled to her front door, seeing Marianna through its small window. Lena opened the door, greeting her friend and former co-worker, who looked at Lena with concern. "Lena, what's been going on with you??" Marianne asked. "I haven't heard from you in days... you quit your job suddenly, and refuse to answer my calls or texts." "Are you ok??" Marianne looked Lena up and down, taking in the huge bump. "Lena, I didn't know you were that far along!" "Does all of this have to do with the baby, because I know that..." Marianne trailed off, for at the mention of the word baby, Lena burst into tears and fell into Marianne's arms, crying hysterically. "I'm... I'm not ok at all!" Lena sobbed, as Marianne held her. "Mari, I don't...know... what to do!!" For a while, Marianne just held her friend, listening to her crying, then looked into Lena's eyes, and asked, "When's the last time you left the house??"

An hour later, Marianna had driven the two of them to the park, thinking that some time out of the house would do Lena some good. As the two of them walked slowly through it, having the park mostly to themselves, Lena realized that Marianne insisting that she get out of the house was a good thing, for Lena began to somewhat feel better. "Lena, please talk to me," Marianna pleaded, a concerned expression on her face. As they continued their stroll, Lena shook her head, staring at the ground, and her protruding belly. "I want to tell you, but I don't think you'll believe me," She relied. "Tell me what??" Marianne asked, still looking at Lena with concern. When Lena did not respond, Marianne stopped her and the two of them stood in a large patch of grass in a deeper corner of the park. "Lena, you can tell me anything," Marianne said to her. "Remember, I'm a scifi and fantasy nut!" "Whatever it is, I'll believe you." Lena looked into her friend's face, thinking that if anyone in the entire world would believe her right now, it was Marianne. So, Lena took a deep breath, and told her everything: About taking the contest and making her wish, about how she had fallen pregnant without warning, how she had given birth twice already, about how she had discovered that she was giving birth to her own replacement bodies, and how she had found the help line for the contest, and how the woman over the phone had confirmed what Lena had suspected. Marianne listened to her friend intently, and when Lena finished, she was relieved that Marianne had not laughed at her or told her she was insane. "Unbelievable," Marianne gasped. "So, it's a curse, and it can't be undone??" Lena nodded somberly. "Mari, you gotta help me... I don't know what to do." Marianne hugged her friend, comforting her. "Of course, Lena, there must be something that we can do," she said, smiling. "We'll figure it out together!!" "I'll help you look deeper online, and I can discreetly make some inquiries with some friends who might be able to help." "We'll figure something out, I promise." Lena looked at Marianne, feeling the first bit of joy and hopefulness she had felt since this crazy situation had begun. It was a long shot, yes, but at this point, she needed any silver of hope that she could get. Lena sighed happily and let out a laugh, embracing her friend as much as she could, before a painful weight hit her hips.

Lena cried out in pain, nearly falling to the ground, if not for Marianne catching her. "Aagghh, it's coming!! Mari, it's coming!!" Lena cried, feeling the pressure in her lower abdomen. "Oh God, Lena, we've gotta get you to a hospital," Marianne responded, pulling out her phone to call an ambulance. Panting, Lena stopped her, grabbing Marianne's hand. "No.... no hospital!" Lena breathed. When Marianne stared into her face shocked, Lena shook her head. "How... will I... explain.... this?" "Too.... many.... questions..." Lena squealed as the pain worsened, and Marianne dropped her phone back into her purse. "Ok, back home then," she said. "Back home where it's more comfortable and private..." "There's.... no....time..." Lena said breathlessly. "It's... starting... to PUUUAAAAA!!" Lena let out a yell of agony as another contraction forced the baby painfully through her pelvis. "OOOHHH!! MARI, HELP ME, IT HURTS!!" Without another word, Marianne grabbed onto Lena and helped her over to a nearby park bench, thankful that this section of the park was currently deserted. As Lena moaned and cried, Marianne helped her onto the bench, taking off her bottoms, and positioning one of her legs to hang across the back of the bench, so that Lena was lying across it with her legs open. Lena screamed as she felt the burning and pressure in her vagina. "MARI, IT'S THERE! THE HEAD'S THERE!! IT BURNS!! OOOOWWWWW!!" Lena screamed as her pussy began to stretch around the head. Marianne moved in between Lena's legs, seeing the tip of the baby's head lodged in her small vagina. "Lena, honey, you're doing great!" Marianne coached. "Don't worry, I'll catch the baby when it comes out!" "It'll all be over soon!" "When you feel you need to, push!!" Lena screamed as the head emerged slowly, opening her wider and wider. "AAGGHH, IT HURTS!!" Lena yelled. "OH, PLEASE GET IT OUT!! MARI, PLEASE!!" As Lena begged and cried, Marianne rubbed her legs softly, watching as the head inched out. After another minute, the head fully emerged with a pop and a gush of fluids, causing Lena to gasp loudly. Marianne laughed and nodded in relief, looking into her friend's eyes. "One more push, Lena!!" She told her. "Just one more!"

45 minutes later, Marianne drove into the driveway of Lena's house, with Lena herself in the passenger seat, holding the baby girl that she had just given birth to in the park, weak and exhausted. Marianne got out of her car and then helped Lena slowly to her feet and guided her into her house. Lena lowered herself into her nearby armchair as Marianne took the baby from her and placed it onto the sofa. "That was intense, Lena," Marianne said to her. Lena nodded weakly at her friend and smiled softly at her. "Thank you for being there," Lena said quietly. "Is it always like that??" Marianne asked. Lena sat in quiet contemplation for a moment before saying hoarsely, "No, it seemed worse that time!" Lena stared at the baby lying over on the sofa, moving around timidly, lost in thought. Why did it seem like each time she gave birth, it felt worse?? Was it just her, or was it somehow because these bodies were technically giving birth after being a week old?? Lena watched as the baby continued to squirm silently. She did not think this baby was any bigger than the last two, so she did not understand. Would the next one be even worse? Lena noticed Marianne watching her, and gave her another weak smile, trying to assure her wordlessly that she was ok. "So, what happens now??" Marianne asked, looking around the room. Lena sighed and shook her head. "I don't know," she responded. "Everything that happens next just happens." "I fall asleep, and when I wake up, I'm somehow inside the baby's body, which is instantly the same age as when I fell asleep!" "I don't know why or how..." Marianne stared into her friend's face, clearly astonished. "So, wonder what would happen if someone was watching when you fell asleep?" She inquired. Lena just shook her head, too exhausted to think, though in a part of her mind, she wondered this too. "Lena, I'm gonna spend the night here," Marianne told her. "Maybe we can find out, and besides, I think you need me." "You shouldn't be alone during all this." Lena looked up into her friend's face, and simply nodded. "Okay," Marianne placed a hand on Lena's shoulder and squeezed it softly. "Alright, you rest for a while," she said comfortingly. "I'm just gonna run back to my place and pack a few things, ok??" Lena nodded and watched as Marianne walked back out the door. Lena was weary, and also hungry, so she eased out of her chair and made her way to her kitchen, finding a few cookies to munch on. Afterward, she went to her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, letting out an exhausted sigh. She only wanted to rest, like Marianne told her to do, but within minutes, she was fast asleep.

Lena was jerked awake by a loud scream, and she rolled off the couch and onto the floor, disoriented. She got to her feet and ran into the bedroom, where she saw Marianne staring at a human skeleton wearing the clothes Lena had worn to the park earlier. Marianne was trembling with shock, and yelped again when she turned and saw Lena standing naked behind her. "Lena, it... it's TRUE!!" Marianne blurted out. "I believed you, of course, but seeing it for myself..." Lena placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know, Mari," Lena said. "I've been living it the past few weeks." After Lena had quickly thrown on some clothes, the two of them returned to the living room, where Marianne collapsed onto the couch Lena had awoken from minutes earlier. "Packing took longer than I thought," Marianna explained. "When I came back in, I saw you asleep on the couch, and I didn't think anything about it, so I thought you put the baby in the bedroom, and I decided to go in there, and that's when I saw..." She trailed off, looking shaken, and buried her face in her hands. Lena sat next to her and put her arms around her comfortingly. "It was me, but not anymore," Lena whispered. "I'm right here now, and I'm ok!" Marianne looked into her eyes. "Until the next time you give birth all over again, right?" She asked. Lena nodded, and her face fell. "Yeah, in about a week, I'll be doing it again," she responded. "I'm cursed!!" Marianne seemed to have calmed down, and she looked at Lena, seeming to examine her entire body. "I'm not taking away how difficult this situation is for you, Lena," she began, "But, if you look at this another way, you could call it a gift too." "I mean, you never die, and you're good as new each week..." Marianne faltered under the shocked and scathing look her friend was giving her. "Sorry, I know you didn't want this," she said. "Like I said in the park, I'll help you find a solution any way I can!"

As the day passed, the two of them talked, with Marianne asking question after question about Lena's predicament, clearly fascinated and curious about it. Lena explained as best she could, and the conversation even continued when the two of them realized they were starving, and Lena decided to cook something for the two of them. It was later in the evening, while the two of them ate spaghetti Lena had cooked up, when Marianne had proposed staying with Lena on a longer term basis. After thinking about it, and listening to Marianne explain how she should no longer be alone during all this, Lena agreed, and the two of them took a trip to Marianne's apartment, to pack up more long term items for her, including her laptop, which would be essential for Marianne to help research Lena's situation.

A few days later, the two of them had established a routine, with Marianne still going to work during the day, leaving Lena to do her own work, chores, research, and more importantly, rest for what was to come. Lena had already begun showing again, as predicted, and the two girls had agreed that they would continue to keep this entire situation secret from anyone else. As such, Lena once again rarely left the house, lest she run into anyone and be forced into answering awkward questions.  Lena had also flat out refused Marianne's suggestion that she go to a hospital the next time she was due to deliver, for the same reason.  She did not want to imagine what would happen if she transitioned into the new body while inside a hospital room.  Lena knew this would once again mean she would be giving birth at home, with Marianne as her midwife, and though she hated to put her friend through that again, it was necessary.  Lena therefore was very patient and accomadating when Marianne began to comment on her rapid pregnancy, insisted in touching her bump, and started making preparations.  After all, Lena thought, having someone make plans in advance, as well as just having someone with her, might be helpful.

Marianne had certainly done her research into birth.  Close to the end of the week, with Lena's belly large and protruding out, Marianne had transformed Lena's bedroom into a personal home birthing suite, complete with a birthing ball and even a small tub.  Marianne also insisted that Lena do nothing but rest as the time for her labor grew closer.  Lena appreciated all of the effort her friend was putting in for her, and was thankful that she had ultimately shared her secret with Marianne.  For the first time since this situation had begun, Lena found herself not so depressed, for Marianne seemed to be able to do anything she set her mind to, and that gave Lena hope that perhaps together, they could even find a way to get her out of this mess.

A day after Marianne had finished transforming Lena's room, Lena lay in bed, on her side, moaning loudly, as pain and pressure had started up inside her as she had slept.  She rubbed her huge belly as she cried loudly, which brought Marianne running into the room.  "It's started??" Marianne asked, coming over to the bed.  Lena nodded, her eyes shut.  "It hurts, Mari, oh God, it hurts!" She whined.  The contractions wracked her body, growing in intensity, and Marianne gently tried to help Lena up.  "Here, Lena, get on the birthing ball, it'll help," Marianne said gently, helping her friend waddle over to it.  As Lena sat and began rocking on the ball, she admitted inwardly that it did seem to help.  She rocked silently, her eyes closed, changing her rocking pattern with every movement.  Focusing on trying to change this every time helped to take Lena's mind off the pain.  Marianne stayed with her, massaging her back, holding her hand, and whispering consoling words to her.  Eventually, however, the pain became too much, and Lena screamed out! "I HAVE TO PUSH!!" she yelled, and cried as the weight of the baby pressed on her hips.  Marianne had, in advance, filled the tub in the room with warm water, and she now helped Lena slowly into this water, hoping that would ease the pain.  Lena sighed as she felt the water warm her entire body.  She still felt pain and pressure, but it was not as bad.  "Thanks, Mari," she breathed to her friend.  Marianne only shook her head, and then Lena said, "For everything!!"  Marianne was about to respond, telling Lena there was no other place she would rather be, when Lena let out a moan and thrashed around in the water.  "I FEEL IT COMING!!" Lena screeched.  "Push, Lena!!" Marianne coached.  Lena pushed and pushed, gripping the edges of the tub tightly.  Marianne rubbed Lena's legs while simultaneously holding them open.  "I already see the head, Lena," Marianne cried happily.  "You're doing great!!"  "Uuuuggghhhh," Lena groaned as she gave another push.  With the head hanging halfway out of her vagina, Lena threw her head back against the head of the tub, panting.  "I don't know how much longer I can do this," she breathed.  "You've got this, Lena," Marianne reassured her.  "Just a bit more!!"  Lena felt another contraction and began to push, then screamed and thrashed as the burning hit her vagina full force.  "AAAAHHH, IT'S CROWNING!!" Lena yelled, as Marianne tried to calm her down.  After another minute of Lena's screams echoing through the room, there was a loud splash as the baby emerged from her into the water.  As Lena collapsed in relief, Marianne lifted the baby out and placed her on the bed.  "You did it, Lena," Marianne cried happily.

Marianne had helped Lena to the bed and moved the baby to another bed on the other side of the room.  Lena fell asleep almost immediately, tired from giving birth, and Marianne was determined to watch everything until Lena woke up.  A few hours passed, with Marianne watching both her friend and the baby, and then suddenly, as she blinked, the baby was instantly a full grown Lena, with no signs of change.  For a moment, there were two sleeping Lenas in the room with her and then the one in Lena's original bed stopped breathing.  As Marianne continued to watch, an hour later, in another blink of an eye, the first Lena became a skeleton, still wearing the clothes she was wearing when she fell asleep, as the new naked Lena stirred.  Marianne was at a loss for words as her friend got up from the new bed and searched for something to wear.  When she finally found her voice again, Marianne said with an uncomfortable laugh, "Well, I guess we can keep all this stuff here, since we know you'll be needing it again in a week!"

It was two days later, the girls having gotten back to their routine, when Marianne had finally found something.  She had sent Lena's e-mail to a buddy of hers, and he had traced the location of its sender.  He sent this location information back to Marianne, along with assurances that he did not read the e-mail, nor did he want to know what was going on.  Marianne shared this information with Lena, who felt herself tremble with excitement.  "That's only several hours away from here by car," Lena exclaimed excitedly.  "I know," Marianne said.  "We can go and meet with whoever is in charge of that contest and convince him to lift the curse."  Lena's heart sank a little.  "But, that woman on the phone said the curse couldn't be reversed," Lena stated.  Marianne shook her head, still smiling.  "She probably told you that because it would be an inconvenience to do it," she responded.  "If he or she is face to face with you, we can force them to lift it, somehow."  "Don't worry!"  "Soon, it's all gonna work out fine, I just know it!"  As Lena throught to herself, wondering if she dared to get her hopes up, Marianne checked her watch.  "I have a busy workday today, but I'm off tomorrow," she said.  "We can go then!"

The next day, the two of them woke up early, had a quick breakfast, and then got in Marianne's car, to begin their five hour drive to the location in Marianne's information.  Lena already had a small bump again, which had motivated the girls to start their trip as quickly as possible.  As Marianne drove, Lena sat in the passenger seat, absentmindedly rubbing her little belly as the two of them discussed what they would say to whoever they were about to meet.  Eventually, since they had very little information to go on, the girls exhausted this subject and began discussing other things, like what their future plans were.  Lena, hopeful that this curse would be gone soon, wished to pursue a career in writing.  Perhaps she would turn this experience into a story of some sort.  Marianne, meanwhile, did not seem  to have any future plans, having always mostly lived in the moment and had never really thought about it.  Eventually, after five hours, they stopped in front of what looked to be an old house, and Marianne confirmed from her notes that this was the location.

The two girls entered the house, finding the door unlocked.  They found themselves in a large open living room, with a few chairs placed around and a fireplace against the wall.  Sitting on top of the fireplace were several lit candles.  As the two girls looked around the room, they noticed that the place was lit only by various candles dotted around the room.  A grandfather clock stood in a corner, ticking softly, and a circle was drawn in the center of the room.  "Woah, what is this..." Marianne exclaimed, before a young dark haired man dressed in a dark cloak entered the room from a doorway in the opposite wall.  He looked at the girls, then said calmly, "You are Lena, one of my contest winners!"  "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME??" Lena  blurted out angrily.  "I didn't think you contest was real!"  "I granted your wish, Miss Lena," the man responded.  "It is quite real, and your wish was to live forever!"  "But, why did you make it happen like this??" Lena yelled, as she motioned to her small pregnant bump.  The man sighed.  "Because, it was the only way," he responded.  "I am a sorcerer, but my magic is limited."  "It can't extend life, but it can create a new one, for the act of conceiving is a process that already exists!"  "A bit of cloning magic, as well as soul transference, and life acceleration..."  "TAKE IT AWAY," Lena yelled.  "I don't want this wish anymore!!"  "Reverse the spell or curse or whatever you did!"  The sorcerer shook his head sadly.  "I'm sorry, there is no reverse spell or any way to stop or cancel my magic once applied."  "What I have given you is yours forever."  Lena gaped at the sorcerer, feeling as though her insides were falling.  She had hoped there was a way to undo this curse, but now, it seemed, there was not.  "I can't go on like this," Lena pleaded.  "Please, there must be something you can do!"  The sorceror shook his head apologetically, but Marianne spoke up.  "I have an idea," she said, and the other two looked at her.  "You said the spell could not be undone, but can it be moved or transferred??" The sorcerer stared at her.  "Yes, it can be, but I don't understand..."  "Then, give it to me instead," Marianne said, before looking at Lena and smiling slightly, as Lena gaped at her.  "Mari, what??" She said breathlessly.  "It's ok," Marianne answered.  "Remember when I said this could be a gift instead of a curse if you thought about it differently??"  "Well, I have thought about it, and for me, it would be a gift!"  She turned to the sorcerer.  "Can you do it??"  "I can," he reponded, nodding.  "Mari, I can't let you do this," Lena said to her friend.  "Lena, please, I want this," Marianne said.  "I found what was happening to you fascinating and amazing, even a dream come true."  "You don't want it, but I do, so we both win!"  "But, the birth... the pain..." Lena said, staring at Marianne in disbelief.  "I'm not worried about that, Marianne said happily.  "It's actually an experience I would treasure each time."  "Please, Lena, let me do this for you, and for me, ok??"  Lena sighed, and a tear ran down her cheek as a feeling of great relief flowed through her body.  "Ok, Mari," she said.  "Thank you!"

The sorcerer led the two girls down into a large basement room, with what looked like a large round pool in the center of it, filled with what looked like water.  He instructed the two of them to take off all their clothes and then both submerge themselves completely for 20 seconds, as he performed a ritual.  The girls did as they were asked and the two of them slowly walked down into the pool until they were both fully underwater.  After counting to twenty, Lena emerged from the pool and a splash, the sound of dripping water, and someone trying to catch their breath told her that Marianne had come out as well.  Looking over herself, Lena saw that the small baby bump was gone, her body back to its small petite form.  She looked over to see that Marianne now had a small bump, which she was clutching in one hand as she spluttered the water out of her mouth.  "Mari, look," Lena exclaimed, pointing at Marianne's belly.  "It worked!!"  "You're..."  "I'm pregnant!" Marianne said, happily, looking over herself and rubbing her belly.  "It is done," the sorcerer stated.  "The spell has been transferred."

As they drove back to Lena's house, the two girls talked happily, both having gotten what they wanted!  Lena was free, and never had to worry about giving birth again, short of actually having kids of her own someday.  Marianne, meanwhile, had taken the curse, or gift as she called it.  As Marianne giggled, driving happily, Lena stared at her.  "Mari, I'll never forget what you did for me," she said to her friend.  "Thank you so much!"  Marianne laughed.  "I should be thanking you, Lena," she responded, rubbing her belly.  "You've given me something special, and I can't wait to experience it."  Lena smiled.  "I was thinking," she began, "It might be good for you to have someone around that is experienced in this situation."  "Since your stuff is already at my house, and you'll need it soon, why don't you continue to hang around my place?"  "I can help you when it's time, and I enjoy your company!"  Lena patted her friend's belly, inwardly thinking that she'd be much happier delivering a baby every week than actually being the one giving birth.  Marianne smiled at her.  "You know what," she said.  "I think that's an excellent idea!"  "Let's start our new lives, together!!"

End!!

#rapid pregnancy #giving birth #birth

[ontheblock]

it’s my mental illness and i get to chose which character is vent through❗️❗️anyway, i have been struggling with writing the ending of the second part of my latest patrick hockstetter request and since this has been sitting in my notes for a hot minute, i decided to post it. enjoy this little story absolutely nobody asked for<3

night terrors

no warnings ig- maybe alcohol

Summer never really was plagued by night terrors the way Morty was haunted by them. Whenever she did have a bad dream as a little girl, her parents let her cry it out unless she came to their room themselves. The rare times someone did come over was when Beth was blackout drunk and Jerry followed the soft wailing of his daughter to pet her head while he listened to her sob story of a nightmare. It never helped that Jerry basically coddled baby Morty whenever he woke up - a desperate attempt to even out the neglectful way they treated her first child because they were kids themselves. But all of Jerry‘s attempts were fruitless. Summer heard Morty whine and whimper almost every night through the drywall, even more so since Rick arrived. It was ironic for her to turn out fine with her mother’s neglectful ways. Jerry should’ve maybe considered listening to Beth more with Morty. Or maybe it was meant to be like this. Poor fucker. If his nightmares didn’t take form of bullies anymore it was definitely the looming danger of acid drooling monsters or aliens smart enough to conquer their planet if a self-proclaimed god in a lab coat fucked with them. Yeah, that sounded terrifying for a child. Or maybe the thing he feared most was more simple and childish - their grandfather who took out threats like that for breakfast. But tonight wasn’t a night like that. Summer didn’t wake up from Morty hitting his bedroom wall out of reflex. It was some faceless nightmare of her own that sent her lurching upright with a struggle for air. Whatever it was, she didn’t remember much aside from Jerry‘s face and a leathery hand reaching for her out of the black abyss surrounding her but she felt the aftermath of a sprinting heart and sweat sticking her tank top to her back. Her throat was dry enough to make her reach out to her empty bedside table. She never put a glass of water by her bed, but then again she never needed it.

Swiping back a stray hair, Summer pushed her blanket off to stand up on wobbly legs. She made her way over to the door, stepping over the creaky floorboard. The hallway was quiet but as she crept down the stairs, Summer noticed the flickering lights of the TV pouring out the living room. She had half the mind to blackmail Morty about watching TV on a school night but she definitely kept the info in the back of her mind for tomorrow’s breakfast as she avoided more creaky floorboards on her way to the kitchen. The moron even turned down the volume.

"Morty, I swear to god. Your nightly water trips are getting on my- on my last nerve."

Summer blinked once, twice to place the voice. The distinct alcoholic slur and the audible frown was familiar to her even in a sleepy state. And surely, it was Rick. Shuffling closer, Summer could peek over the couch‘s back to see her grandpa lounging in his oil stained wife beater, tinkering with a cube shaped hunk of metal. Like this she could see his hands at work, talented fingers coaxing loosened screws into their threads. He hissed a low "me cago en tu madre" when the phillips head slipped from the screw he was working on. Summer could make out the blue mesh of veins under the withered skin on the back of his hand. Rick really did have the hands of a worker - a mechanic or construction worker. They looked nothing like the office worker hands of Jerry, if he had even that. He seemed to sense her presence - if that was even possible - because his head turned to look at who he assumed to be Morty.

"Summer? What the fuck are you doing here?"

What was she doing here? She came for a glass of water but her throat was less parched now and something about her mysterious grandpa reeled her in like a damn fish. She took her bait and ran her clammy palm over the couch cushion by her grandpa‘s neck. "I woke up, obviously. I had a nightmare. No big deal." Her eyes pointedly stayed on Rick‘s hand holding a screwdriver or the coffee table with half a bottle of whiskey standing next to Rick‘s feet that he casually propped up onto the wood but she never met his gaze. Why was she even this honest? She could make some kind of excuse but it’s been months since her family showed interest in what she was doing. "Nightmare, huh?" Rick echoed her as if to taste the word on the tip of his tongue. Summer wondered if he had nightmares sometimes. She nodded, eyes finally flickering to his face. The TV casted lights and shadows on his old features. Right now he looked normal, not like that crazy scientist with a mean silver tongue that intimidated her the first time they met at the breakfast table. Summer was used to see the hollow green glow following Rick like a fucked up halo or even the zapping blue rays from devices that can both end and create wars. But now the angular features showed a different side. The soft studio lights of some late night show made him look like a regular addition to the family and it helped Summer release her tense shoulders for the first time in a while, like she didn‘t need to be sarcastic or indifferent all the time. A little voice in the back of her head told her that Morty could be his awkward idiotic self so why couldn’t she?

"Why are you up, grandpa?" She leaned her front against the couch back and kept her voice down just in case Morty did wake up again. "I‘m - bergh - well over the age of bed times. This piece of shit is m-more important." Rick averted his gaze and waved the cube in his hand. Summer hummed and reached for it only to have Rick shuffle it to his other hand and hold it out of reach. "Well, what is it? Can it, like, cause mass destruction or something? Or does it contain a totally freaky virus? Or—" Rick shushed his granddaughter and tossed the cube on the coffee table. "Calm your tits, Summer. It‘s- It‘s to cure Granorian crystals. The, the, the-" Rick rotated his hand as if to underline his search for the most simple explanation "-easiest planet to harvest them happens to have the most impure growth." His hand fell into his lap, the other one snatching the whiskey from the table. "You should go to bed. It’s Tuesday." Summer snorted but it sounded off. "Since when are you the responsible grandparent?"

"I‘m not." His gaze locked on the TV again and he knocked back a sip or two of liquor. "Just thought I get one night free of my annoying grandkids." Ouch. Rick delivered both praise and insults in the same gruff tone - not that he had many kind words to spare, save for Beth when he needed to get his way. "What do you need them for? Can’t you just get, yknow, earth crystals?" Rick belched after a deep gulp from the bottle and dismissively waved his free hand in Summer‘s general direction. "Don’t think about it. Do me- just do us a solid; go back to bed, Summer." Rick expected a bit of huffing and a snarky comment before Summer relented and went back upstairs but he saw her unmoving in his peripheral vision. Summer stared down at the couch cushion‘s seam as if it told her whatever kind of questions were important to a girl her age. Probably if that one guy in school liked her or not. Her fingers rubbed over a stain that looked like red wine her mother spilled last Christmas. "I don’t want to. It’s not like I can go back to sleep anyway. Not- It‘s not because of the dream or anything. Just-" Summer stumbled over her words to find any excuse that would save her the embarrassment of admitting she was a little scared to go back to sleep again. She bit the inside of her cheek when Rick cut her off with a long groan. "You really are Jerry‘s kid. You‘re- Y-You know dreams are just- bullshit hallucinatory experiences aaaaall the way up the hippocampus? It’s not- It’s imaginary, Summer. Just your dummy ape brain processing a bunch of shit while you’re asleep." Rick‘s tone was agitated while he gesticulated but he still scooted closer to the left, ultimately creating more space on the couch. Summer didn’t know where dreams came from, she wasn’t interested in it either but she silently rounded the couch to sit down next to her grandfather. Being this close, she would smell the faint whiskey breath and the Old Spice lingering around her. It was nice for once, calming even. "You know, I‘m not staying because I’m scared because that’s totally lame." Rick just grunted in some kind of indifferent agreement but Summer felt the need to clarify her decision even more. "I mean, it’s just a dream. I‘m not a loser like Morty. I don’t piss my own bed. That‘d be totally— gross." Summer turned back to Rick, fully expecting him to not even pay her any mind but when they locked eyes Summer finally shut her mouth. She never saw a look like this one on Rick‘s face. Not even around Morty - who was quite obviously his favorite grandchild and Summer reminded herself that she didn’t care about that.

Right now Rick‘s withered features looked almost soft even though the hard lines on his face didn’t even out at all. Maybe his resting face just looked mean like that - maybe he was frowning for so long that it became the default for Rick. But still, he looked almost fatherly. Summer‘s pathetic little attempt to look tough in front of the most powerful man she knew stirred something dead in his ribcage.

He remembered a tiny Beth sneaking into their old kitchen where Rick was fixing a leak in the sink. A single glance at his wrist watch told him it was time for Beth‘s nap because if Diane didn’t make her take one Beth would be tired and grumpy all evening. He tried to shoo her back to her room but only got a tantrum out of his daughter until he reluctantly set his task aside and laid down on the living room couch with Beth resting on his chest until Diane came back with their groceries.

"Yeah, sure. What - uhrp - Whatever." Rick looked back at the TV and Summer fell into his silence, her back sinking into the soft cushions. She barely followed the plot of whatever Rick was watching. It looked like some 70s war movie with bad explosions and subpar camera quality. Rick didn’t seem to be the type for nostalgia so it probably just happened to be on at this time of night. The dull colors made her lashes feel heavy again and she let her eyes roam the coffee table Rick still used as his footrest. The cube laid by his foot, forgotten until Rick needed to purify his drugs alien crystals. The whisky bottled left a wet little spot on the wood that she knew Rick wouldn’t wipe away. Jerry wanted to replace the table for a week now. Morty‘s latest comics were scattered on the other side of the table. He always left them in the living room because the idiot just has to get distracted two pages in. An unfamiliar pack of Newport Reds Non-Menthol caught her eye and Summer took a quick glance at Rick. If he noticed, he ignored it. Rick did always have the remnants of cigarette smoke on him but Summer never seen him with one before. There was probably a lot that Summer didn‘t know about her grandpa. She wondered how much her mom really knew about him.

The movie crept close to its finale when a warm weight sank onto Rick‘s thigh. He lowered the bottle from his chapped lips to find soft ginger hair draped over his khaki pants. He went still for a moment with his granddaughter‘s head on his lap. This was territory he hadn’t wet his toes in for decades. Rick wasn’t a stranger to the warmth of another body but this was tender and innocent, enough to take him back in time. He downed the last of his whiskey in one gulp and indulged in the hot rush that followed. The credits rolled on the screen while the bottle neck dangled from his bony fingers.

"How drunk are you right now?"

Rick hummed as if he was doing the math in his head before answering. "Wasted." He put the empty bottle on the fuzzy carpet and shimmied his feet off the table without disturbing Summer in her position. Not that he would admit that.

"So in the morning this didn’t happen?"

Rick took his sweet ass time eyeing Summer and weighing out an answer before he gave a low "yeah, Sum-Sum" and looking back at whatever commercial was on. If Rick ever was good at anything it had to be pretending. He could pretend for Summer just this once too.

#rick and morty #summer smith #rick sanchez #fluff #tw alochol

[bigbadmercer]

Cross Our Hearts 2021

Okay, so I thought I’d have a go at writing. I’ve debated it for a while and this seemed like a good opportunity. Any feedback is welcome!

Day 1 - Angst

Games: Prototype/Assassin’s Creed (Protocreed)

The past few months had been pretty crazy for Desmond. After saving the entire planet, it was decided that a change of scene for him and his fellow Assassins would be nice; and so they now had a hideout in Manhattan. It was a decently sized, abandoned apartment. As their luck would have it, they decided to show up just as a viral outbreak had ravaged the city.  The virus on it’s own was bad enough, but a few days into their stay they had learned that two organisations involved (Gentek and Blackwatch) were riddled with Templars. For Desmond, this meant many missions, a few injuries, two or three surprise encounters with the infected (during which he absolutely did NOT scream) and a lot of meetings to summarise each mission. 

Oh, and he met a super-powered virus freak.

He remembered the moment vividly. He’d managed to sneak into a Gentek facility and was making his way back out with the information he’d gotten his hands on. As Desmond was leaving, an alarm started blaring throughout the entire building, accompanied by red flashing lights. Desmond paused, wondering if he had been the one to set off the alarm. He turned over his shoulder just in time to see a group of armed Blackwatch soldiers round the corner. His stomach sank - he was good at fighting, but he was guy with a blade attached to his arm. He froze and watched as the soldiers ran towards his hiding place in the shadows, getting closer, so close he could hear their heavy breathing...

And then they ran straight past him. Puzzled, Desmond turned to follow their path with his eyes. He was met with a sight that made his heart leap into his throat. A man, just a bit shorter than Desmond, stood opposite the soldiers, who had now stopped. The man was wearing a pair of jeans, a black and red leather jacket, a hoodie (wasn’t that funny?), and a shirt with the collar up. Weird. However, this is not what drew Desmond’s attention, for when he looked at the soldier closest to this man, he saw a blade sticking out through his back. A long blade, almost as long as he was tall, coming from the man’s arm. No, it was the man's arm. He was too shocked to move. He stood and watched in horror as the man cut the soldiers to pieces like wet tissue paper, the once grey hallway newly painted red with blood.

Naturally, they got to talking, and it turned out they both hated the Templars. Well, Alex (the man had awkwardly introduced himself) hated Blackwatch and Gentek. But it didn’t take much discussion for them to realise they were more or less on the same side. Alex helped Desmond through the increased security so that he could get out of the base with his precious info. Then, Alex gave him the number to a phone he’d gotten hold of and left almost as quickly as he’d appeared not ten minutes ago.

Fast forward a couple of months (and a lot of missions) down the line and Desmond was sort of friends with Alex. He said sort of, because Alex would never admit it. But Alex was friendly with him. What Desmond initially interpreted as rudeness was actually social awkwardness. Alex wasn’t deliberately a dick - not most of the time, anyway. He just didn’t have a clue about how to talk to people. And he had a good reason, Desmond thought. Alex wasn’t human; he was the Blacklight virus. He was made to be a killing machine. He was a killing machine- a pretty damn good one, too. Alex never stopped. He was in his element surrounded by enemies. He didn’t sleep and he couldn’t stay in the same space for a long time. He’d soon grow restless. Despite all this, he’d developed his own mind and thoughts.

So when Desmond found him sat on top of a roof, looking rather still apart from his swinging legs, he knew something was wrong.

“Hey, buddy. You been parkouring without me?“ Desmond called out softly, hoping he’d be able to lighten the gloomy mood that seemed to be clinging to Alex.

Alex didn’t answer.

“Alex?“ Desmond moved to sit beside the virus-man, a concerned expression falling over his face. He was answered only with a soft grunt from the other. “Hey, what’s wrong, Alex?“

“Nothing. I’m fine.“ Alex replied in a voice not too dissimilar to a growl - his normal tone of voice.

Desmond pulled a face. “Dude, I know you enough by now to know that you sitting up here alone means you’re thinking about something. Probably not something good. Knowing you, something horrible, actu-”

“Shut up.“ Alex snapped. He shifted just enough that the light of a nearby billboard lit up his face, allowing Desmond to see his expression. He’d expected Alex to look angry, or maybe even confused. But Alex, he looked... he looked miserable. 

“Whoa, hey... I’m sorry. Seriously, Alex, what’s wrong? You look really upset.“ For a moment, Desmond debated putting an arm around Alex, but decided he liked his arm where it was - meaning, attached to his body - and thought better of it. 

Alex turned his head away to hide his face from Desmond. He stayed silent for a few minutes. Desmond sat by him, also silent, waiting patiently for Alex to answer. Then finally...

“I never got a chance.“ Alex mumbled, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

“A chance to what, Alex?“ Desmond spoke gently. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Alex off by interrogating him.

“Be human.“ Alex sighed heavily, then lifted his head slightly to get a better view of the people walking on the street below. “I have so many memories. Happy memories... But they’ll never be mine. I had a cross-hair on my back the moment I woke up in the morgue because... I’m a monster.“ The last few words were spoken so quietly they were almost a whisper. And, oh, if Alex looked miserable before, now he looked like he might cry. 

“Oh, Alex...“ And before he could stop himself, Desmond was gently pulling Alex into an awkward sideways hug. Alex tensed immediately and Desmond felt tendrils squirming uncomfortably under his arms. He was about to pull away when he felt the squirming stop, then Alex practically melted into his hold.

Alex was slightly cold to the touch, which surprised Desmond. He’d always thought Alex would be warm. For a moment, Desmond couldn’t fathom how Alex had refrained from chopping his head off, let alone how he had managed to relax. Then it hit him... This was the first time in this Alex’s life that he’d ever had any physical contact that wasn’t intended to hurt him. This was the first time he'd felt comfort from another. Even though he'd never admit it, Alex needed this.

“Alex, you are not a monster. You aren’t the mindless killer that they tried to make you into. You hear me?” Desmond spoke quietly. He didn’t get a verbal reply, but he suddenly had two cold arms wrapped around him and a head resting on his shoulder.

“Hey, we have the day off tomorrow. How about we stay in and watch a movie or something? Would you like that?“ Desmond asked tentatively. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.“ Alex mumbled into Desmond’s shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a while afterwards before Desmond eventually coaxed Alex into the hideout to lay down on the couch. Desmond covered him with a fluffy blanket, which earned him a funny look from Alex. Desmond only chuckled at this as he sat beside Alex. He talked quietly to Alex about completely random subjects. Alex relaxed at this, even gave some sarcastic comments where he could. Eventually, Desmond paused his rambling to check the time. 12:43am. Damn.

“Hey, Alex, I’m gonna hit the hay. You okay with that, or do you want me to stay?“ He heard no reply. “Alex?“ He turned to look toward the couch. The sight he was met with was very unexpected.

There was Alex, asleep. Desmond smiled softly  and moved to pull the blanket up to Alex’s shoulders. It seemed he was out cold, completely unaware of the world around him.

“Goodnight, Alex.“ Desmond whispered, before leaving to go to his bed. He fell asleep quickly. He was tired, but he was also happy that Alex had finally found peace.

...Or so it had seemed. Desmond awoke not long later to the sound of distressed yell, followed by tearing and hurried footsteps. He wasn’t the only one that heard it, because soon, he was running out of his room along with Rebecca, Lucy, and Shaun. The other three got a slight head start on him. Desmond looked to the other Assassins, who had their eyes fixed on the couch, all wearing worried expressions. Desmond moved forward to follow their gaze.

He saw an empty couch with several long, deep claw marks in it. A quick scan of the room and a wide open window confirmed his worries:

Alex was gone.

#crossourhearts #crossourhearts2021 #prototype #assassins creed #protocreed #desmond miles #alex mercer #alex j mercer #alex mercer prototype #angst #writing #never really published writing before #lets see how this goes haha #tw for blood #blood and gore #I mean come on its prototype #the other assassins are also there #a little bit

[topazy]

The Fierce And Broken

1.06

Masterlist

You woke to the mumbling noise of others talking. With a groan you sat up, whining at the pain you felt in your stomach.

You recognized the voices as Clarke, Bellamy, Raven and Octavia. You couldn’t make everything they were saying out, but Octavia was angry. Slowly you spun your legs around so they were dangling off the edge of the table, crouching slightly so you could hear better. A couple of words stood out more than others ‘bomb’ ‘Lincoln’ ‘Anya’ Who were these people? You could hear Raven’s voice getting louder.

“I’m not having this conversation again. I did what I had to.”

The moment your feet touched the ground you instantly regretted trying to stand up. You stumbled forward with a loud thumb, alerting the others to your presence. The hitch to the room opened, and you saw a head of black hair moving quickly. It was Octavia. She wrapped her arms around and squeezed tightly. “Oh my god Alba, you gave me such a fright.”

You hugged her back. “O, I’m okay. I promise.”

She pulled back from the hug, and you could see the tears in her eyes. “I thought you were going to die...I really did.”

You opened your mouth to ask Octavia about the grounder that stabbed you, but quickly closed it when Clarke came up the ladder.

With a frown she helped you stand up. “Hey, I don’t want you bursting those stitches.”

“Nice to see you as well Clarke.”

Clarke’s frown softened, “how do you feel?”

You paused before answering her question, because you honestly had no idea what you felt. The memory of what happened to you was hazy. You remembered being stabbed, because you pushed Finn out of the way. Finn. “How’s Finn?”

Clarke glanced over at Octavia before answering. “He’s fine, now.”

“What do you mean now? Did he get stabbed as well?”

Octavia stood by you and squeezed your hand. “You are both okay now, that’s what matters. The blade was poisoned. It caused you and Finn to both have seizures.”

Clarke sighed, “Finn didn’t get stabbed, but he had a cut on his hand and somehow got the poison in it.”

This didn’t make any sense. If you and Finn were fine, why did they both look miserable? “How long have I been out for?”

“Long enough.” Clarke shook her head, “After I check your stitches, I’m sure Octavia will fill you in what’s been going on.”

______

Your eyes nearly popped out of your head with the information Octavia had told you. Finn and Lincoln had set up a peace meeting that resulted in a war starting. Bellamy and Clarke had found weapons. Raven had managed to communicate with the ark. Murphy was back. Octavia explained how the grounders used him as a weapon to spread a virus around the camp, and they had blown up the bridge to try and give them more time. Something else had gone, your friend was holding back.

“O, I need to ask you something. You might think I’m crazy, but I’m so sure of it.”

Octavia stared at you nervously, she nodded her head. “Yeah?”

You spoke quietly so nobody else could hear what you were about to say. “The grounder that stabbed me...I don’t think he wanted to hurt me.”

“He didn’t.” Octavia let out a deep sigh, “I need to tell you something, so please don’t hate me. I let the Lincoln...the grounder who stabbed you escape.”

You were confused. “Escape from where?”

“Here.” She said waving her arms around the room. It suddenly occurred to you that they wouldn’t have carried you to the top floor of the drop-ship straight away. “Bellamy and his gang of thugs brought him back here for information. When Lincoln didn’t talk they began torturing him. I was afraid they would kill him...so once I got what I needed I helped him go.”

Octavia pulled up her sleeve to reveal the cut on her arm, you leaned in closer to inspect it. “O, what did you do?”

“Lincoln wasn’t going to give us the antidote, but I trusted he wouldn’t let me die so I cut my arm with the same blade he stabbed you with.” She paused, “Lincoln saved my life before. He blew the fog horn that stopped the other grounders from killing you.” Of course, it was starting to make sense. “He never wanted to hurt you. He asks me all the time if you are awake, he wants to apologize.” You had no words. Nobody had ever done anything like that for you before. You pulled Octavia into a hug that surprised her. “I thought you would be mad at me.”

You shook your head. “I’m not mad Octavia, I’m really proud of you.” You pulled back from the hug to point at her arm. “You did that to save me and Finn. And I’m glad you helped him escape.”

Octavia smiled at you. “I was so scared you’d hate me Al, I dunno what I do if I’d lose you.”

You shook your head with a slight chuckle, “is there anything else I need to know?”

Octavia shrugged, “probably. But my mind has gone blank.”

You looked out the window into the camp below. Everything looked normal, as if nothing ever happened. “Fancy helping me get down them ladders? I know Clarke said I should stay up there until she gets back from hunting, but I’m so bored.”

“Pissing off the princess? Now that I can help you with.”

______

After a while Octavia went off to see Lincoln, and you promised to cover for her if anybody asked. You spoke to Monty and Jasper briefly, who filled you in on the whole camp getting high after eating some nuts.

“Y/N!”

You turned to see Raven stepping out of her tent. She had a wide smile on her face as she hugged you. “I’m so glad you are okay!”

“Thanks Raven.” You stepped back, “I told you I’d keep your boy safe.”

A look of sadness washed over Raven’s face, something was wrong. She must have sensed you were going to ask because she shook her head. “I’m fine honestly. I just can’t thank you enough, Finn probably would have died if it wasn’t for you.”

Raven blinked away the tears in her eyes, “I better get back to work.”

“Are you sure? Whatever is going on you can tell me.”

She nodded. “Thanks, I just-” you followed her gaze to Finn, who was standing laughing with Clarke. Oh. “I just need to get back to making more bullets.”

You felt guilty for not following her, but the best thing to do was let her have time to herself. It couldn’t have been easy watching the person you love loving someone else. The feeling of a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind took you off guard. All the hugging was starting to hurt.

You chuckled, “who’s squeezing me now?”

The person spun you around to face them. Murphy. Tears started to spill from the corners of your eyes. You never thought you’d see him again. In typical Murphy fashion, he pouted when he saw your tears. “Are you disappointed that I’m back? No need to cry-”

You cut him off by pressing your lips against his, it wasn’t a passionate kiss. It was soft and gentle. Pulling back from him you smiled, “I’m so glad you are alive Murphy, I heard about the grounders.”

He looked down at you, “yeah. I don’t know who hates me more, the people in the camp or outside it.”

You took his hand. “Come on, you can tell me about it while I check you over.”

______

“Ouch!”

“Don’t be a baby, give me your hand.”

You had been pouring leftover alcohol onto Murphy’s fingernails to make sure they weren’t going to get infected. Clarke obviously hadn’t given him the once over because he still had a couple of deep cuts that needed to be stitched up.

“Thanks,” you glanced up at Murphy. “I mean it Alba, nobody else even looks at me. They all think I’m a traitor.”

You frowned, “I’m glad you told them. If not they would have killed you.”

“Maybe I’d be better-”

“No!” You snapped, knowing where he was going with this. “Don’t say that! Don’t even think about it! I’d be lost without you Murphy, and you might not think it now but things will get better someday. For all of us.”

Murphy tilted his head to the side and brushed a stay tear that had fallen down your cheek. He had made some really bad judgment calls since landing on the ground, but you knew Murphy was a good guy. He just had a tough start in life.

“So, did you have a welcome party waiting for you to wake up?”

You appreciated Murphy changing the subject, a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips. “I...I fell off the bed,” you laughed. “I tried to stand up but it didn’t work. Octavia rushed up to see me, then Clarke came to check on my stitches...oh and I spoke to Raven.” Murphy pulled a face at your comment. “What?”

“I’m guessing your new BFF didn’t tell you how things went down with the grounder? I mean...I know I wasn’t here but I’ve heard things. And shit, she got dark.”

“Octavia already told me about Bellamy torturing Lincoln...I...wait, when you said ‘she’ do you mean Raven?” Murphy nodded. “Raven helped torture the grounder?”

“I heard she shocked him with wires.”

You were lost for words. You didn’t know Raven that well, but you assumed she wouldn’t have stooped to that level. Wait...Finn. She did it for somebody she loved. “No, O never mentioned it.”

Murphy suddenly stood up, “what was that?” You turned to look in his direction to the flaps of the tent, and shrugged. “I thought I saw somebody was standing there.”

“Probably just the wind.”

______

When night fell most of the delinquents gathered around the fire. A few couples strayed to have some privacy, while others stayed and got drunk. You twiddled with a piece of thread that was coming from your top. Trying to process so many things at once was hard, and it was starting to give you a headache.

Sighing, you said goodnight to Monty, Jasper and Octavia, and headed towards your tent. As you approached your tent you noticed movement inside it. Shit. Gulping down you reached for the gun tucked into the back of your trousers. Bellamy would no doubt freak if he saw you with it, but having it close made you feel safe. You slowly pushed open the flaps to the tent with one hand, while clicking the safety off with the other. The light was dim but you could make out the figure of someone sitting on your bed.

“Raven?” She jumped to her feet, and gave you an alarmed look when noticed the gun in your hand. “What are you doing in the dark? I could have shot you.”

“Sorry...I Just needed to talk to you, and I didn’t know where you were.”

You sighed, “it’s fine.” You tucked the gun underneath your bed and flung some dirty clothes on top of it. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I came by to see how you were feeling earlier when I heard you and Murphy talking. I-he told you what I did.”

You sat down on the bed, and kicked off your boots. “Raven, I don’t agree with it. But I’m also not judging.”

“You don’t think I’m a monster?” Raven’s voice broke as she spoke, it was the first time you had ever seen her so vulnerable. You shook your head. “How can you be so nice all the time? Isn’t it exhausting?”

You let out a snort of laughter at her comment. “I’m not, trust me. I’m just trying to make the best of a bad situation.”

Raven joined you on the bed, “what do you mean?”

“I’m just trying to enjoy my freedom until the rest of the ark comes down. I imagine many of us won’t be pardoned of our crimes and will either get floated or locked up again.”

Even in the dark you could see the brunette’s eyebrows coming together in a frown. “Well the ark would just need to get through me first.”

“I’m sure Jaha will be shaking.” You chuckled, before noticing the look on Raven’s face. “Is there anything else going on?”

“From the moment I landed I knew something was different. Finn...he doesn’t look at me the way he used to, he looks at her like that instead.” her? It took you a few seconds to catch on to what she was talking about. “They had sex not long after they came down here.”

You knew Finn had feelings for Clarke, but never realised how far they had taken things.“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

Raven began to sob. “I feel so stupid! I risked my life to come down here to be with Finn, and the whole time he was sleeping with somebody else. What makes it worse is he hid it from me.”

You admired Raven for being so strong, she was heartbroken but still used her amazing brain to help the rest of the camp out.

She turned to face you, “I’d hate to impose...but I really don’t want to see him right now.”

You smiled at her, “you can stay in here whenever you want.”

Raven thanked you before you both got comfortable in the bed. You spent the rest of the night talking before falling asleep.

#the 100 #Raven Reyes #raven reyes x reader #raven reyes imagine #Raven Reyes/reader #Raven Reyes x oc #slow romance #slow burn #the 100 x oc #the 100 season one #the 100 imagine #the 100 fandom #the 100 fanfiction #Raven Reyes/you #John Murphy #Octavia Blake #grounders #Lincoln #clarke griffin

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep13: How to Get Away With Cheating in the Card Olympics

It’s been a little while since Pegasus made a card that screwed us years after it was developed...and so it’s time for it to happen again. Good ol Pegasus, screwing us all and not even knowing he’s doing it.

First off, it took me until this episode to realize that Leon and Zigfried are German and Leon is playing a Grimm Brother’s deck. I guess I didn’t notice before now because Leon was hiding his identity. But now that I know his deck is because he’s just German it’s like...well OK. That’s kind of cute. Better than that time they had the American play a deck filled with guns.

And that actually...fully explains why they are all dressed old timey. I didn’t pick up on it until just now...they’re referencing old ass fairy tales. But wtv, I still like my reaching theories of why Zigfried dresses like...that.

PS, my twitter just notified me that lots of people are getting a ‘Hime Haircut’, which is exactly the doo that Zigfried wears this season with the cropped side bangs. And like...are we sure? I see Kpop wearing it and Tik Tok kids wearing wigs but...I have yet to see a Hime in the wild. Course I haven’t gone outside in like a year so...maybe tens of thousands of people really did do a Hime Haircut during the Quarantine.

But, damn it, I decided to look at some photos, and a bunch of them looked pretty bad, but a couple looked pretty dope, and now I’m a little bit tempted to get a Hime...but I feel like it took a decade to get out of my bangs phase and like...Do I need two layers of bangs? I have naturally straight hair, I could do this, this haircut was made for me, but...

I just don’t know if I should get a haircut that looks like I’m an anime cosplayer when I can’t back it up. Nope. Cannot get this haircut. I know this haircut was made for teenagers or artists in their 30′s, and literally no one else, but no, this will be a mistake just like the side bangs I gave myself in 2006.

(looks over at scissors)

(read more under the cut)

(get it? Cut?)

Leon recalls that his brother very nicely gave him a card, and he’s so excited to finally do any activity involving his crazy ass family, that he just blindly does it.

This entire episode is about Yami not doing a hellscape when he witnesses cheating, and like...it is S5...it’s been a little while since anyone’s done a real good cheat on him, and he opened the door to darkness, and they got devoured by their own Tamagachi. It’s been a while.

And like the curse of Episode 13 was just a theory I had--but this particular Episode 13 is probably the most tame of all the 13′s (and yet, the most un-tame of this arc, which is a pretty chill arc, overall)

Yet...while this episode still fits in with their universe because the Kaiba’s are very proud so they can’t admit their duel disk has a flaw and therefore can’t forfeit the game, it kind of stretches the imagination a bit for the sake of the plot. Straight up we have a LOT of characters in this arc and they all just stood there and watched it happened.

It could have been also because this is like...televised...that no one wants to start throwing this little boy off the nearest blimp. I just wish that was addressed in the episode, other than “listen...Kaiba must allow this card to be played...or all his Duel Disks are lies.”

His Duel Disk almost caused the end of planet Earth a few weeks back, so I think it’s fine. I think this is a negligible problem to have when your disk shoots projectiles out of each end and has sharp folding edges in the shape of a blade--almost attempting to slice your face off every time you wave that thing around.

Yes, he’s trying to restore his reputation after the whole Dartz thing...but this is like...not that bad in the scale of things that have happened in the past several seasons. Maybe it’s just the last straw that broke the camels back here? One thing too far--’your disk played a broke card, Kaiba, I am pulling my investments and I refuse to go to your theme parks. I was here when you blew up that island. I was here when your company was literally bought out by the illluminati...but if that duel disk can’t play cards correctly--we’re done here.’ And TBH...that’s a very Yugioh mentality to have.

Like remember that time that Elon musk threw a brick at one of his new weird looking cars and the windshield cracked? But he was like “Oh...that was just a...listen the windshields don’t shatter, you saw nothing.” and still released the car anyway? Was kind of reminded of that.

Now...he didn’t actually go into the Dev room, we’ll go into how the hell he got this card, but first, a visit to the Kaiba Dev room.

OOOOOOooooooooh

That’s so bright!

It reminds me of how in the 90′s, the only real thing I knew to do on my computer was change the colors of the UI, so I just used the ugliest ass UI known to man for my family’s computers. I hope these computers have a mouse that leaves a tail behind and I hope that mouse is in the shape of a flying sparkling dragon.

Anyway, Duke speaks what’s on our minds:

Meanwhile, Pegasus, watching this happen over a glass of wine from inside his bathtub at Castle Pegasus, takes one very long sip while sinking into a pile of bubbles.

Seto at first is like “I literally own this tournament so thanks for losing? I don’t know why you threw it out into the trash but thanks?” But Zigfried pressured him so hard that everyone on Earth would judge his ass, and tried so hard to change the definition of what cheating even is, that Seto relented almost as if to shut Zigfried the hell up.

Zigfried explained that, technically, it’s still reads as a legal card on the disk and isn’t reaaally against the rules. Even though the rules say it’s against the rules--what are rules anyway?

Thankfully we have the King of “I dictate what the rules are AKA the rules of the universe, which I would show you, I just don’t feel like it right now, and I’m a little worried about opening that Pandora’s box, but I clearly know the rules of this card game, as stated on this Home Depot plaque that Seto gave me after I won the last tourney.”

Leon gets pretty upset about this--not so much screwing Seto Kaiba, but over the fact his brother stole his only chance at trying to beat Yugi Muto fair and square. So, trying to retain what little card honor he has left, Leon tries to self sabotage so everyone can just go the hell home.

OK so...do you think he put a floppy disk into the paper card? Like straight up how did he do that? Feel free to post your theories because like...how do you hack a paper card? Like do we even have a canon explanation of what these cards are or what they are made out of and how they theoretically work?

Anyway, now that they’ve spent a good portion of this episode discussing if this card should or should not be played, and the ethics and philosophy surrounding that, we find out that none of this matters because Zigfried was actually just stalling.

(He hacked the card so it had a virus like straight up how did he DO that without making a new card?)

Huh.

Y’all, what if I could just delete Google?

Can you imagine?

Like I know this is a kid’s show so it follows kid’s show logic and I will absolutely allow this ridiculous master plan and I will not question it, but think with me for a sec:

What if you could just delete Disney?

Damn. That’s some Y2K scare tactics propaganda right there. That’s some good YA dystopian fiction stuff.

Yo is Zigfried the good guy? He’s not, but if this were a YA novel he would be, right? Good on him.

I...do not know how the logic in Zigfried’s brain works, but if someone deleted all the files in my collaborators company and showed up at my front door and was like “I heard you were looking for a new collaborator?” I’d stick him face first into a blank paper card.

Which is, logically, the next step to Zigfried’s plan that no one has bothered to tell him yet. You just don’t mess with Pegasus, especially after all the stuff he went though with getting murdered by Mai, and Dartz showing up, he’d be so pissed right now. He might not be technically magical anymore--but it’s clear after last season that he’s still magical enough. This is a man who’s let out into the wild maybe a couple of scary cards--but hell knows how many are buried in his huge ass castle just waiting to do a murder.

This is just Zigfried hassling a hornet and the hornets nest is like...right there.

And so next episode we are going to...destroy the card? Hell, next episode might be entirely a card game and I might only have 2 caps.

Anyway, just letting you know that I typed this last night, and then had dreams that I got a Hime Haircut and hella loved it, woke up at 5:30 AM thinking about that haircut, and have since been just...

...I mean I shouldn’t do it...I cannot give myself unironic Von Schroeder hair...

...

...but what if it’s dope though?

(and here’s the link to read these from the beginning in chrono order from S1. Wish I categorized in seasons but alas I did not have that forsight back when I thought there were only 3 seasons of Yugioh total. I have since learned.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #YGO #yu gi oh #episode recap #photo recap #S5 #Ep13 #Yugi Muto #leon von schroeder #zigfried von schroeder #seto kaiba #grandpa muto #mokuba kaiba #and literally everyone else who stood there and just watched it happen #Just thinking about how one hacks a card and I feel like that's totally possible but how though?

[holographic-chogi]

Protector pt.20/23

Author: holographic-chogi

Pairing: fem!reader x skz

Warnings: mentions of guns, familial trauma, familial neglect

A/N: Hi guys...I’m really sorry I’ve been gone so long! Things got kind of intense during the the move, and it became difficult to balance writing along with all the other things happening in my life. Thank you to everyone who has read in the past and/or is still reading this series, I’ve grown really attached to it and don’t plan to leave it unfinished. As you can see, there’s also been a final chapter determined! The outline is done, and you guys can expect the final installments soon. Lastly, 

Summary: a virus has wiped out most of humanity, and society has collapsed. People survive in groups where they live in constant fear and a struggle to survive. Women were the primary victim of the virus, leaving few behind. You are one of the few, kept in secret since the beginning. However, you’ve just been caught.

Masterlist

You woke up in the morning similar to the way you had a couple nights ago, abruptly and full of fear. It had been two days since then, and the nightmares had scarcely waned in their intensity.

The blankets tumbled to the ground as you shot up, backing against the wall in confusion, until finally processing where you were.

Home. Your room.

Your heart panged at the site of the empty spot next to where you had been sleeping. Changbin was probably on shift, though you sure wish he wasn’t.

Or, maybe, you scared him off. You could hardly call yourself the same since you’ve been back, and part of you wasn’t sure if Changbin would still love you the way you are now.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to make it here and everything was supposed to be okay again. You weren’t supposed to feel like this anymore.

Miserable.

Everyday, while the sun rose and set, your thoughts and dreams were haunted by the memories of your night with Taeil. Physically, you were beginning to heal (save for the inevitable scarring), but mentally, you existed within those few hours with your attacker. It had gotten pretty hard to stay present.

You don’t actually remember sitting on the floor, but you found yourself there. You stared at the wall in front of you as your mind poured over all the possible ways Jiho and his goons could sneak in.

His goons… were they after Hyoseob about now?

You raked your fingers through your hair as you remembered parting ways with him in the woods. He was right, you would make it here. You really hoped he was okay.

Or Bambam?

Then it became hard to breathe, and your sore throat began to tighten. You couldn’t take this. Not anymore. Why was Bambam even in those woods? Was he yet another person who put themselves at risk to protect you?

Like your brother.

You knew now that no one was safe. Standing from your spot on the floor; the wood creaked beneath your feet, and you cringed the idea that anyone could hear you. You were already this dangerous burden, wasting away their space and food, did you really need to be noisy on top of that?

No one said anything about the way you changed, but your head was drowning in a sea of thoughts you imagined them to have. Thoughts of contempt, resentment and hatred.

Your heart began to pound as you heard your door handle move; a tiny part of you expecting Jiho or Taeil to emerge from the entrance.

But you immediately felt a sense of calm as you spotted Hyunjin. He smelled like the pine trees that populated the woods outside, so you assumed he had just come back from hunting.

How long had you been spiraling like this?

Your face reddened at the realization of how you must look right now. Stray hairs clung to the edges of your sweaty forehead the same way yesterday’s pajamas clung to your thinning frame as you stood, teetering, next to the dresser.

Unsurprising to you though, Hyunjin didn’t bat an eye. “Wanna get some fresh air?”

Although everyone else at the Farmhouse treated you like you were going to fall apart at any moment (arguably justified), Hyunjin treated you like you.

It was a good feeling.

And you can’t deny, you never worried about what Hyunjin thought of you, because somehow, you knew you didn’t have to. He had become your healing space.

“Not really, but I probably should.” Your voice was still a bit raspy, though it had been subtly improving. “I’m probably driving everyone nuts with how little I’m pulling my weight. Maybe I can go help reinforce the fence…”

He shook his head, “You aren’t driving anyone crazy, they’re just worried.” He paused, his voice becoming slightly lower as he subtly looked you up and down.

“I’m right here with you, and you’re in a safe place full of people that love you. Please don’t torture yourself in here.”

At that, the thin veil that held back your tears up until this moment, burst. You were unable to keep the emotions from leaking out of you as you sobbed into your hands.

You felt a gentle tug around your shoulder, before you were wrapped up in his arms, back on the floor. As you sob into his hoodie-covered chest, you reciprocate, limbs trembling as you cling to him for life.

“I have you, Y/N. You’re safe. You’re loved.”

It would take time to believe this, but if anyone would be able to drill it into your head, it’d be Hyunjin.

Once you were able to calm your voice a bit, you let a question slip through the cracks, “How can you see me, when no one else can?”

With the ends of his fingers, he lightly directed your chin upwards. Much to your chagrin, this was to look you in the eyes.

“The others don’t understand what hurt is, not in the way that we do.”

With this, you were speechless. He had worded the feeling you’d had about him but could never put words to. Up until this point, you felt an unexplainable kinship and sense of understanding with Hyunjin. But it all made sense now: the world before the virus broke him just as much the world after. Just like you.

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, Hyunjin patiently waiting for you to process his words until you finally whispered, “Can you tell me your story?”

He chuckled to himself.

“My father was a soldier, so was my brother. I suppose I was going to be one too.”

You raised your eyebrows, “You? A soldier?”

His gaze shifted down, resting on the floor in front of him in shame. “Yeah. They thought the same thing”

You looked him up and down in panic, “no, I--”

He shook his head, cutting you off. “It’s okay. It’s never been any mystery to me that I’m not meant for that.”

He continued, and you didn’t fail to notice his brows furrow and his eyes harden. “I tried my best to keep up. I learned to shoot, fight, even speak the way they did.” he shook his head in exasperation, “But it was never enough. My family’s perception of me was always clouded by everything I wasn’t and should've been, and they never looked past that until the very end.”

His voice was breaking now, and instinctively you began to rub his back, urging him to continue.

“And I’m the only one left now, the sole survivor. I was the only one young enough to survive the virus. I never met my mom, and my only living family died disappointed in me.”

Silence. And then a sob; “I hated the way they lived, and I hated the person they expected of me--” he paused before finishing his sentence, attempting to gather himself.

“It’s why I’m out hunting all the time. It’s the only time I ever feel worth anything.”

He finally looked back at you, and you had to stop yourself from crying too. He looked so defeated; eyes brimming with tears. You gently reached out with your other hand to hold his, and you vaguely noticed the scars you left him, ages ago.

“Y-you say I’m the only one that sees you, but Y/N, you’re o-only one that sees me too.”, He smiled through another wave of emotion, “That’s why I really need you to be okay, do you u-understand?”

You nod back hurriedly, unable to open your mouth to speak without crying.

“Whenever I hunt alone it’s…it’s just me alone with my thoughts. It feels like the world is empty, just me and my resentment alone.” He smiled as he continued, “But with you, it’s so easy. My mind is quiet, and I’m not alone.”

Then it came to you, you knew exactly what to say, “We have eachother, Hyunjin. Always.”

He then stood up, stretching out a hand, “That’s it, I have something I need to show you.”

Taglist: @leetaemintrashnumber1 @peachescherryheart @lico-rice526 @claire4799 @lanie-is-a-unicorn @tottalbabe @anakinandbtsislove @scissorsandtonfas @tokiokiedokie

#stray kids #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #skz #skz ff #skz fanfic #skz angst #skz fluff #protector #dystopian!au #apocalypse!au

[jar-full-of-pixel-hearts]

Hi Marie! I love reading your stories and I was wondering if you could do a story with Ben and the reader spending time together during quarantine

In quarantine with you 

Ben Schwartz x Reader

A/N : Thank you for you request ! Even if quarantine isn’t a fun time I try my best to make it light and stick on what I think a quarantine with Ben will look like. I remember from his interview that he usually wake up early and he was eating a lot of frozen Reese cup so I try to incorporate it in there. I struggle for a while with the “ Spending time together” not knowing if you was intended romantically or just friendly, so I just mix them up a little bit except for the end. I hope you will like it and let me know as an anon or not ! 

* I tried my best to put a pandemic time line following the evolution on the quarantine rules, but since every country had different quarantine time and outside rules it could happen that it didn’t fit, so please excuse me in case of mistake. 

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

—-

When you had wished to pass more time with Ben, you never thought at a quarantine in an international pandemic. When the news broke that the virus was spreading, pushing the government to close the border and every public place. You were discussing by face time, trying to book at least a weekend with the busy man. 

“ Well, what do you think of that ? Instead of a weekend you come to my place and we spend this isolating things together.” He had offered,showing you his best puppy eyes look.

How could you have answered no to that. 

Almost two week now after your temporary move in. You never had been so happy to have accepted the invitation. Of course, at first you both had some difficulties, trying to accommodate you in this new domestic arrangement and new pandemic rules. But, after a few days of being woke up as early as a bird in the morning by the sound of Ben waking up. He starts to naturally close the door of the room and leave the store down, letting you sleep for at least a few hours more. For your part, you tried to avoid as much as you can the corridor leading to his office, letting him write in peace or passing his many interviews without outside noise.

After a few adaptations, your cohabitation works as well as a symphonie played by a brillant orchestra.

“ Piouff, one interview done, next one is at four,did you eat already ?” Ben asked you, entering the living room where you were binge watching one of your favorite series on Netflix.

“ Yes, I leave you a plate in the fridge. How did the interview go ?” 

“ Oh good thank you i’m starving. It went pretty well, their questions were great. We had some fun “     

“ Mind playing a game of Mario Kart after you eat, i’m in the mood to kick your ass “ You joke, enjoying the sound of his laugh. 

“ Did you lose like ten times already ? It admirable that you still think you can kick my ass in a game I had mastered” 

“ I feel lucky today I guess” You reply amuse “ Go eat, I will set up the Switch “ 

“ Okay then “ 

Moments like this were some of your favorites. Simple, sometimes childish, moments when outside life problems seem to vanish, leaving only the two of you laughing or cuddling. 

Of course, you also had some rough times, scared of what would happen in the future and how you will get out of this pandemic situation. But, each time, you were here for each other, trying many different ways to make you feel better or chase the scary thought away. 

When Space force goes on Netflix, you made an effort, hoping to make him laugh by throwing a parody of a movie premiere. You had prepared every detail, from the popcorn and other snacks( mostly frozen Reeses cup)  in a little D.I.Y bucket, to the fake red carpet ( previously the bath mat), to a print page of the Space Force logo tape to the wall, finishing by you in the only pretty( not sundress) dress that you had put in your luggage. 

The whole assembly of things put together in the living room was oddly looking like the house birthday party of a five years old kid. But, he totally loved it. You knew that public events like premieres weren't the favorite part of his job. But, after two months of hearing him sigh of how much he loves wearing his casual clothes, but already miss his button up shirt and nice clothes. You couldn't stop smiling when, after discovering the surprise, he had run upstairs, coming down only after putting on one of his suits and a tie matching the tone of your dress.

You also make fun of the whole situation that was his quarantine hair. Once a while, seeing him pushing them out of his face or struggling to arrange them, mostly ending up rocking a baseball cap in the house.You had jokingly asked him if he thinks they had their own life or if he already lost something in the vast forest of his dark lock. 

“ I really should cut them off” He once announced one day, at your own despair while his head was resting on your thigh during a movie “ They became a little bit out of control”  

“ Cutting your hair ? Did you though at the poor little fairies living in it. They will lose their home” You joke, laughing as you pass your finger in the soft mass.

A smile blooming on his lips,he closes his eyes, clearly enjoying the sensation on your fingers. 

“ We could relocate them, keep the hair we had cut and make them a home in that” He laughed. 

“ We ? You want me to do it ?! Murder your beautiful hair. Not sure I will be able to do it” 

Lifting his upper body on his elbow, he gave you one of his sad looks. 

“ Please, they will grow back but right now they drive me crazy.”    

“ Fine “ You sigh with a half smile“ prepare the garage I will take a towel and the scissor “ 

Unexpectedly, you came out proud of the result. 

And then, as another month passes and some public places reopen. You found Ben more often in his though, looking at the horizon for no particular reason. At multiple times, you had tried to ask him if it were okay, but each time, he came back to his natural happy state, assuring you that yes, he was going well, he was just thinking at his writing.

Until one night when lost in his thoughts, he looked at you biting his lips, clearly fighting an unusual nervosity. 

“ Do you know what I was thinking ?” He suddenly asked you while you were reading at the end of the couch. 

“ No “ You reply, lifting your eyes off your book.

“ You could stay here”

“ Isn't that what I have already done for three months now ? “ You ask, confuse. 

“ After all this I mean...permanently...moving in…” He finished, putting the controller on the table, facing you. 

“ Are you sure ?” You couldn’t resist asking. 

“ Yes, I never thought of thinking of it for weeks now. And every time my answer is that we are good together, I'm happy that you're here...I'm happy with you in general…” 

Putting your book away, you get closer putting your lips on his, joy busting like bubbles in your chest. 

“ You make me happy too..“ You reply after your kiss, smiling.

“  So...it’s a yes ? “ He asked, smiling but unsure . 

“Of course it’s a yes, I can wait to move in ! “ You laugh. 

“ Well, at the clothes on the floor in the bedroom you already did” He joked laughing when you gently hit him with a pillow. “ Do you think I will let you hit me, wait a minute you will see !” 

Laughing, you end that night on the floor, planning your new life together.  

—

PLEASE don’t forget to Like, Comment or Reblog !

—

Tag List : @caitlin-rose28 @skullchik89 @ruefulposts @ssanjuniperoo  @scruffiejelly   @festmenyes @dannydevitostrashbag @humanbeingiguess @qatiee @ waffletoast215 @ formedinaway @ shipsandart @ hugedwarflover @ peachylemasters @ diamond-doritos @imvibin69 @ benschwartzismyhusband @underthewillowtreerycb

#Ben Schwartz #Request #Ben Schwartz x reader

[justinalovee]

Now we live

Previous chapter

Chapter:03

“What are you doing?” Nova asked in a low voice.

She had woken to see a bloodied John Murphy in front of her, he was untying her. Nova noticed he had also brought ‘normal’ clothes, along with a knife.

“Soon as you get the chance to run go and don’t look back.”

The screaming woke her. Flickering her eyes open, they quickly adjusted to the brightly lit room for her to see nothing but white. At first Nova thought she had died, and this was the bright light people used to talk about. But she wasn’t dead, just trapped in hell. The screaming was her own.

The man in the hazmat suit was pulling the tube out of her arm, it was then she heard the drilling noise again. Nova wanted to beg for the pain to stop, but she was too proud. A grounder would never plead for their life.

“Thank you...” Nova couldn’t believe he was helping her escape. “Why are you letting me go? Won’t your people be mad?”

The sky boy didn’t answer her question. He had dried blood around his nose and mouth, but what Nova noticed most was the way his fists were shaking. Looking between his hands and his face, the grounder recognized the look on his face. Murphy had murder on his mind.

______

Nova’s body creaked and ached while she tried to get comfortable in the small cage they locked her in. The room was full of grounders from different clans being healed against their will in...whatever the place was.

“Psssst!”

Nova looked up to see the grounder in the cage above staring down at her. “Treyton?” She had seen his face before in her village. He couldn’t have been any older than sixteen.

“Cadeau has been going koken lufa au Yu, she mous don frag op those Tu fools when she learnd chit emo don dula gon You. She don bilaik convinced gon kom daun gon tondc gon huk op birth.” ‘Cadeau has been going crazy searching for you, she almost killed those two fools when she learned what they have done to you. She had to be convinced to return to Tondc to give birth.’ The young grounder informed her.

Cadeau..her pregnant sister shouldn’t be worried about her. Nova should be looking after her, instead of being trapped like an animal ready for slaughter. “Ha dula op Oso get au kom hir?” ‘How do we get out of here?’

Treyton shook his head. “Oso na't. Guards surround Disha place, emo na frag op Yu raun spot taim emo ai op Yu trana gon escape.” ‘We can't. Guards surround this place, they will kill you on the spot if they see you trying to escape.’

Nova grimaced when she felt drips of blood landing on her arm. They must have put the young grounder through hell for him to still be bleeding. “na fig au a edei gon get yumi au kom hir!” ‘I will find a way to get us out of here!’

The door to the room opened again as guards checked the cages to see who was still alive, and who had succumbed to their injuries. Three grounds had died. Nova tried not to scream or cry when a guard hit her with a stick that sent an electric shock through her body. At least she was still alive to feel the pain.

Running through the woods, Nova still hadn’t been able to shake who was following her. She didn’t think it was anyone that fell from the sky. They wouldn’t have been capable of sneaking around so quietly.

Nova let out a squeal when she tripped over a branch and landed on the ground with a thud. Men in strange suits with guns quickly surrounded her. As Nova tried to move an object struck her on the back of the head.

“Chit don dula Skaikru dula op gon Yu??” ‘What did the sky people do to you?’ Treyton asked once the guards left with a new victim.

“Eintheing, emo jos questioned Ai. Emo became i’ll kom gona virus. Ai didn’t get in anya don gaf gon infect emo.” ‘Nothing, they just questioned me. They became i’ll from the warrior virus. I didn’t know Anya wanted to infect them.’ Nova confessed.

Treyton shook his head. “Sha, she was meizen pissed gon chit happened gon lincoln. Skaikru tortured em.” ‘Yeah, she was pretty pissed at what happened to Lincoln. The sky people tortured him.’

Nova pressed her lips into a thin line. She could believe it, the one called Bellamy probably would have done worse than pull her hair if they were alone. He was full of anger and wanted some kind of revenge. “A gada called Okteivia don trana gon help. also boy dane en lamos kept honon helped Ai escape. He could yu don bash op Ai, ba choose gon help instead.” ‘A girl called Octavia tried to help...also the boy Dane and Lamos kept prisoner helped me escape. He could have hurt me, but choose to help instead.’

Treyton gave her an unconvinced look. “Skaikru can’t na trusted. Gon bilaik get in boy might yu don been handing Yu odon gon maun hef.” ‘The sky people can’t be trusted. For all you know the boy might have been handing you over to the mountain men.’

“Ai don’t fig raun krei. he was trana gon help Ai.” ‘I don’t think so...he was trying to help me.’ Nova stopped talking when a loud screaming noise echoed down the hallway. She looked up at Treyton who was visibly scared. “Oso na get through Disha.” ‘We will get through this.’

“Ai hope krei. It’s a shame Yu don’t yu don you’re bow en arrow nearby, na Yu tech Ai ha gon mana once Oso get au?” ‘I hope so. It’s a shame you don’t have your bow and arrow nearby, can you teach me how to aim once we get out?’ Treyton asked in a slight chuckle.

“i'll make Yu finest archer raun houd.” ‘I'll make you the greatest archer in the world.’

Next chapter

Notes:This wasn’t my favorite chapter to write, but I felt it was necessary for the story's progression.🥺

#The 100 #john murphy #Bellamy Blake #the 100 fandom #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 imagine #murphy the 100 #bellamy the 100 #grounders #slow burn #slow romance #john murphy/oc #John Murphy/ grounder #john murphy imagine #John Murphy x oc #octavia blake #clarke griffin #mountain men

[twoflipstwotwists]

At first, Sunisa Lee, a favorite to make the United States women’s gymnastics team for the Tokyo Olympics, didn’t think much of the tickle in her throat.

But on that Sunday evening last month, two days after the 2020 Summer Games were supposed to begin before they were postponed a year, the tickle turned into soreness that made her throat feel like it was on fire. When she woke up with a fever and chills, she panicked.

Contracting the coronavirus and unknowingly infecting her father, John, had been her worst fear throughout the pandemic. He is at high risk for Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus, because he was paralyzed from the chest down after falling from a ladder in 2019, and his breathing is compromised.

To be safe, Lee, 17, shut herself in her second-floor bedroom while her family — including her three younger siblings — relocated their bedrooms to the first floor of their St. Paul, Minn., home and slept on air mattresses or the couch.

Though her coronavirus and strep tests came back negative, Lee, spent nearly two weeks in isolation, not wanting to take any chances. Her aunt and uncle, with whom she had been very close, died of Covid-19 this summer, within 13 days of each other. She had to say goodbye to her aunt via Zoom.

Now Lee, a high school senior this year, is finally back at her gym, Midwest Gymnastics, for what seems like her hundredth restart in 2020.

This interview has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity.

Of course, the first thing I thought when I got sick was, “I have the coronavirus.” It was scary. I had the worst headache of my life and it lasted for four days. My throat hurt so bad that I couldn’t talk or swallow. At night, I slept with five blankets on me because I had the shivers and couldn’t stop shaking. Then my fever got really high, like to 103. One day I cried all day when I couldn’t even lie down because it hurt to do anything. My mom left chicken soup for me at my door, and it was so great that she could take care of me. The food was good. I didn’t lose my taste or smell, so maybe it wasn’t the coronavirus after all.

The week after I was sick, I was still stuck in my room while I rested and isolated. It was frustrating, but everyone wanted me to stay away from them, stay out of the gym and stay home. So I watched a lot of “The Vampire Diaries” and FaceTimed with my friends. I also did a lot of schoolwork, wrote three or four papers, and just chilled. My dad called me every day to check up on me, and I also made sure he wasn’t feeling sick. It was stressful to think that he might have caught something from me. I’m so relieved that he didn’t.

While I was at home, a Snapchat memory on my phone reminded me that it was one year since my dad’s accident. I actually didn’t cry when I saw it. I’m just so happy that my dad is alive right now. I looked back at the memories of his accident and got chills. I thought he was going to pass away when he was in the hospital, so I didn’t want to go to nationals and compete. But he told me to go, that he really wanted me to go. So I did. Now I realize that if he didn’t push me like that, I wouldn’t be in the spot I am right now with the Olympics so close.

On the anniversary, I texted him and said, “Dad, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and that you’ve come back so strong.” He is still in a wheelchair, but he can use his hands and he is getting better every day.

The day the Olympics were supposed to start, one of my coaches, Alison Lim, sent me a text. She said today was the day I’d be at the opening ceremony and that this year didn’t turn out how any of us wanted it to. She told me to keep reaching and pushing my limits, and that it won’t be easy, but that nothing worth it ever is. On that sad, depressing day of this crazy year, it was so nice to get a note like that.

It really sucked to be out of the gym for so long. I can’t afford to miss more time because I already missed so much with my ankle injury. Getting sick pushed me back another two weeks. I’m so nervous that I’m falling behind. One of the hardest things was watching my friends post what they are doing in the gym. I just sat on my bed in my pajamas and watched them on Instagram. Everyone got pretty good.

Before I went back to training, I had to take an EKG to make sure my heart was OK. I also had to take a chest X-ray, do a throat culture and give blood for testing. The national team and my coaches wanted to make sure my body was ready for hard training. When I finally got back to the gym, my coach, Jess Graba, told me to take it slow and not rush into anything. Now I basically have all of my skills back, except on vault. I haven’t done vault yet because my ankle still hurts a little bit, but I go to physical therapy every week to strengthen it.

After you take time off, it can be really scary to do the harder things you used to do, and I personally hate being scared. When I’m scared of hurting myself, I start to overthink things and won’t go for it. The uneven bars make me especially nervous because when you stop training, you lose sense of where the bar is going to be. And I grew an inch and a half this year, so I have had to make adjustments.

So instead of thinking too much, I just force myself to do a skill. After I throw one, I’m fine, even though I always wipe out on that first one. I just get back up and get ready to go again.

I learned one very important lesson through all this. I realized that I could actually miss practice and rest, then come back to the gym and still have my skills. I had no idea that it could be that way. Now I think it’s more beneficial, mentally and physically, to rest sometimes because your body and your mind can heal and you can work on yourself as a person. And when you finally go back, your body feels brand-new.

Thinking about all the bad things that have happened to me has actually made me more positive about the Olympics. It reminds me that I could handle tough times and still be OK because I’ve handled many tough times before. Last year, just like this year, was one bad thing after another. I broke my ankle, then my dad had his accident, but then I did great at nationals and at worlds. I knew he was watching me so I did great for him.

I fought off the negative thoughts and the sadness, and just focused. Now I feel like I’m maybe tougher because of it. No, not maybe. I am tougher because of it.

#sunisa lee #full article for anyone who hasn't read

[backtobackbakubabe]

Stuck in the Middle with You (Part 2)

Bakugo x Reader 

Reader is a closet couponer and when word started spreading that there was going to be a mandatory quarantine to fend off a virus you weren't worried. You had enough supplies to last for months. However it wasn't until now that you realized you had no idea how to cook and you relied on take out and fast food for most of your meals. The only person who knew about your crazy couponing habit was Bakugo, so when he called and asked if he could raid your stash you got an idea.

Words: 2054

*****************************************************************************************************

You tried not to moan as you took your first bite of Bakugo’s pancakes. They were so delicious, but you didn’t want to add to his already huge ego. For the most part you both are in silence, locking eyes every so often before immediately looking anywhere else but at each other. There was still some awkward tension between the two of you. He had kissed you, like actually kissed you but neither of you wanted to be the one to bring it up. 

You knew he only did it to try and help you through your panic attack. There was no way he would have done it for any other reason. He was Bakugo after all and you weren't even convinced that he even liked you as a friend. Sure he always attended movie nights, and yeah he brought you coupons. But that was it. The two of you never hung out one on one and you rarely spoke to each other over the phone. You had known the man for years and you didn’t know a damm thing about him. 

It wasnt until he cleared his thought that you realized you had been staring at him, “Do I need to teach you manners as well as cooking? Lesson number one, don’t stare at people.”

You snorted, “Oh that’s rich. A lesson on manners from the same person who manages to find a way to insult anyone who dares try and speak to him.”

He slammed his fork down, “Well at least I wasn't the one staring at another person practically drooling while they ate!”

You stood up and tossed your plate into the sink, “I was not drooling! I was just thinking...”

Bakugo came up behind you and rinsed your dish as well as his before putting them in the dish washer, “You really shouldn't leave dishes in the sink. Its a bad habbit...”

When you didnt answer he took a deep breath, “If we’re going to be stuck here then we should probably at least try and get along.”

Again you were struck by how little you knew about him. How had you been friends with him for this long and not know anything about him.

He groaned, “Are you even fucking listening to me?”

You nodded and pinched the bridge of you nose, “Yeah sorry, just was thinking again... I can be kind of spacey.” 

He softened a bit before leaning on the counter next to you, “So I’ve noticed... What are you thinking about?”

You blushed slightly before regaining your composure, “Honestly you... Not anything weird... It’s just. Well I feel like I actually don’t know much about you. Like are you a morning person? Whats your favorite color? What kind of movies do you like? I know none of that seems important but for some reason it just weirds me out that I dont know.”

Bakugo scratched the back of his neck, “Well I mean you never asked...” 

You hopped up on the kitchen counter and swung your legs that were now dangling, “Okay well to be fair that can go both ways. I’m sure you don’t know anything about me either.”

He seemed to think for a minute before nodding, “Well I guess it’s a good thing we have some time to catch up. Just promise me that what you learn stays between us. I dont need any fucking extras thinking they know me.” 

You rolled your eyes at his abrasiveness. “How about you pick something to watch and I’ll go raid my closet for things you could wear. I doubt you want to wear the same clothes every day for the foreseeable future.” 

“Tsk as if I’d wear girls clothes. The director from my hero agency said he’d send someone over with some clothes. It’ll probably just be a bunch of training gear with the agencies logo on it but I guess beggars cant be choosers.” 

Bakugo was right because halfway through “Gladiator” a man showed up with a duffle bag full of grey and black shirts, shorts, and sweats with his agencies logo on it. They were all still wrapped in plastic just to be safe. 

He threw the bag full of clothes behind the couch and reclaimed his spot next to you. You were bundled up in a blanket, trying not to fall asleep but you were drained after your episode earlier. It was only a little after 8 and you could feel your eye lids growing heavier. 

At some point you woke up and to your horror you were leaning on Bakugo. You would have panicked except you could feel his arm draped around your shoulders holding you to him. This was odd. You slowly sat up and stretched. “Sorry. You could have pushed me off. I wouldn't have blamed you. Especially with social distancing or whatever.”

He chuckled, “Oh believe me I thought about it. But you were cold and if we stuck together I cant have you getting sick.”

You saw a slight blush creep up his neck. You knew there was no way you would have gotten sick from being chilly in your own living room. But you also knew he was probably more comfortable doing something nice if he had an excuse. So you game him a genuine smile. “Thanks. I’ll be honest that's the best nap I’ve ever had. Well best I’ve slept in months actually. I’m always tossing and turning.” You turned off the tv that was now playing the credits. You had seriously slept through the entire second half of the movie. 

You walked over and started pulling out pillows and blankets from the hall closet. “You can sleep on the couch. It pulls out into a bed but honestly its more comfortable if you just sleep on it normally. We can take turns sleeping in the bed if you’re here long enough.”

He accepted the blankets but held tight to your hand. “Hey you know I meant it earlier when I said you could talk to me. I’m the last person to voluntarily open up about my feelings, but you know... I worry about you sometimes.” 

You plopped down on the couch with a huge sigh. “I appreciate your concern. But I wouldn't even know where to begin... I’m just... I don’t know. I’m fine.”

Bakugo took a seat next to you, “You’re what? Smart? Strong? Badass? Because those are the first words that come to mind when I think of you...”

You could feel your eyes prick with unshed tears. “Well those are definitely not high on the list of adjectives I would consider for myself. More like small, scared, and incompetent.” You leaned your head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. 

Bakugo crossed his arms over his chest in mild frustration. “Why? That couldn’t be further from the truth! Well except the small thing. You are kinda little. But last I checked that wasn’t a bad thing. If anything... its kinda.... cute.” 

You looked up expecting to see him blushing. But instead you saw him giving you a nervous smile. You wiped a tear from the corner of your eyes and returned his smile, “Well you know how my quirk can be really vague? I only get fragments of the truth and even then it’s up to me to decide what they mean... That’s a lot of pressure. I cant be wrong. Ever. And there was this one time when I was a child... I was living with my mom.. I interpreted something wrong and someone died because of it. That kind of thing sticks with you.”

Bakugo reached out and took your hand, “Is that why you decided not to be a hero?”

You nodded as you wiped away another tear, “Yeah. Now I work behind a desk, looking at files, and no body gets hurt.” 

Bakugo surprised you by pulling you to him and giving you a tight hug. “I’m going to say something and you better not ever repeat it.... But I was always nervous to spar against you. You always seemed to be able to read me like a book. You worked harder than the rest of us including me. You were always in the gym or the library. I’m not saying I don’t understand your decision. I just want you to know that I think you would have been great.” 

You leaned into his hug, “Thank you... for everything today. For helping through my panic attack, for making me dinner, for hanging out with me. I know you say you didnt have a choice. But you really are a great friend.” 

You both laid there on the couch. Bakugo holding onto you taking deep breaths, “You want to talk about earlier? You dont have to but it might help me out to know what might trigger you if we’re going to be stuck here.”

You buried your face into his chest. “I dont really want to talk about it. But I will say I dont do very well when I feel trapped, especially if I have to be alone.”

He gave you a quick squeeze, “You going to be okay alone tonight?”

You sat up and swatted as his chest, “Bakugo Katsuki! Did you just ask if you could spend the night with me?”

He rolled his eyed before he pushed you off the couch. “Sorry for being concerned. I promise it’ll never happen again. Next time I’ll just let you suffer.”

You giggled, “There’s the Bakugo I know.” You started your trek up the stairs to your room calling a goodnight over your shoulder to the man who was getting cozy on your couch. When you had woken up this morning there was no way you could have predicted your day would end up like this. You didn’t know what was harder to believe, the lockdown, or the fact that Bakugo was a secret softy.

You were already so exhausted that it was hard for you to fall asleep. The hard part was staying asleep. You woke up several times, tossing and turning. Your anxiety was truly kicking your ass tonight. At one point you felt compelled to go and check that Bakugo was still there. Not that it would make any difference. There’s no way your insomnia would magically be cured by knowing that Bakugo was still there. 

But logic wasnt on your side tonight.

You wrapped yourself in a towel and tip toes across the cold hardwood floor. You tried really hard to be silent, slowly making your way down the stairs. It was so dark, but you could just make out the silhouette of his rising and falling chest. At least he could sleep. 

After you had satisfied your irrational need to make sure he was still there you stood and turned to go back up the stairs. You were almost to the top when the board groaned under your foot. You froze. 

“Y/n?” Bakugo slowly sat up. “Y/n what are you doing up?” He picked up his phone and groaned. “Y/n it’s four in the morning!” You remained frozen to your spot on the stairs. “Y/n I can see you... Are you okay?”

You sighed, “I’m fine, I was just having a hard time sleeping again. Its nothing new. Go back to sleep.”

He stood up and wrapped the blanket around his half asleep form. He slowly made his way up the stairs. When he got to you he didnt stop but kept walking towards your room. He only paused when he got to the door. “Are you coming or not?” 

You silently nodded and joined him in your room. He laid down on  the floor next to your bed, which looked extremely uncomfortable. “You sure you’re going to be okay down there?”

He scoffed, “Of course I’ll be okay. I’m no cry baby.”

You rolled your eyed and threw a pillow at him, “At lest take a pillow!”

He muttered something under his breath but excepted the pillow none the less. 

You rolled over and pulled the covers up to your chin, “Thank you Bakugo.”

“You’re welcome smalls.” 

Smalls.... It was a nickname he had used during your time at UA. You used to hate it but after tonights confession, you found it endearing. 

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #mha x y/n #my hero academia

[leigh-kelly]

Happy Brittana’s 5th Anniversary everyone!

The nausea hits you before you’re even fully awake and you jump out of bed and make a run for the bathroom. You’re trying not to vomit on the floor again, because the last time you did, cleaning it just made you vomit more and it was a whole disaster until Brittany woke up and gently told you to get in the shower so she could deal with the mess. It’s her baby too, she’s promised you, kissing you on the top of your sweaty head, she’ll take care of you always.

You make it to the bathroom this time and you sink down to your knees, feeling like your stomach is being clawed out from the insides. You’re not a quiet puker, you’ve known that since you were a kid and your mom told you it sounded like you were making bird calls when you had the stomach virus. You’ve barely emptied your stomach when you feel Brittany’s hand press on the small of your back. You hate so much for her to see you like this, but she’s promised you’ll she’ll be there, so you let her.

“Are you okay, honey?” She asks, filling the water glass that you keep on the side of the sink and handing it to you.

“I thought this was supposed to end after the first trimester, I’ve been sick every day for fourteen weeks.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s our anniversary.” You groan, swallowing the water and standing up to start brushing your teeth. “I wath thupposed to feel good.”

“If our anniversary means eating soup in bed, that’s fine. It’s been five years and we’ve done a lot of things.”

“Last year I had to work.” You spit the toothpaste. “And you were the one who ran around making a romantic dinner.”

“Babe, it’s just a day. I’m not any more married to you today than I was yesterday or will be tomorrow. We’ll do whatever you’re feeling up for...after the doctor.”

“Have we decided yet?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“I think we should just...see how we feel when we’re there, that’s better.”

“You know I don’t like spur of the moment decisions.”

“Yes, you, who decided we should get pregnant pretty much the minute we both had good paying jobs.”

“Brittany, you say that like I wasn’t thinking about having a baby with you since I was fifteen.”

“You really thought about that?” She’s incredulous and you lean over to kiss her.

“Why do you think I blurted out that I didn’t want to sing about making lady babies with you? I was always thinking about it.”

“You’re really cute, you know that?”

“Oh yeah, totally cute after just barfing my guts up.”

“Still cute.”

While Brittany finishes up in the bathroom, you go downstairs. You pop a decaf pod in the Keurig and pull out one of the heavy frying pans you got for your wedding that you finally had the space to get out of storage. As you start frying eggs—one of the few things you can actually stand the smell of—you look around your apartment. Five years ago, you were newlyweds with no plan other than to go back to school. Four years ago, you’d had a little money to spare, so you got matching tattoos on your pinkies. Three years ago, she built you a fort in the living room of your godforsaken fifth floor walk up. Two years ago, you took her for a picnic in Central Park the day after a blizzard because she said she always wanted to do it. Last year, you had to work and she made an amazing candlelight dinner from your favorite restaurant happen.

But this year, this year is bigger than even the most perfect four anniversaries you’ve had. This year, you have an apartment where you’re not tripping over each other constantly. This year, you have a baby on the way. For just a second, you think of Kurt. You think of how you’d panicked a little when he got a divorce, but that’s not you and Brittany. The two of you are still over the top in love with each other. This baby, still so small inside your uterus, is a testament to that.

“What are you doing?” Brittany comes into the kitchen with her hands on her hips.

“I’m making you an anniversary breakfast.”

“You should be relaxing.”

“I go to work every day, I don’t think cooking you eggs is going to kill me. Besides, after trying to cook in our shitty old kitchen, I want to cook in here all the time.” You laugh, taking your coffee from the machine and taking a long sip. “Did you think we’d get here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, be moderately successful, have an apartment bigger than a postage stamp, be able to afford to get pregnant. I know everyone thought we were crazy getting married when we were so young with no real plan, but did you see this coming?”

“I think I always knew you were going to be successful. It was me I wasn’t sure about.” She shrugs, looking at her feet.

“Oh, babe, I was sure you were going to be something amazing the whole time I’ve known you. You always just had this thing about you. And now you have a tenure track job making math not suck.”

“And yet you somehow still think math sucks.”

“My mind doesn’t work like yours. You get infinity and stuff, it still hurts my head.”

“I’ve told you before, just think of how long you’ll love me. That’s infinity.”

After you have breakfast together, Brittany has a morning class to teach and you have to go into work for a few hours. You take a quick shower and get dressed, pulling on clothes that will hide your slightly bulging belly. You haven’t told anyone at work yet, you want to keep your private life private for as long as you can. That’s the weird thing about pregnancy, it’s something so personal, yet everyone feels invited to know about it. For now though, you like just keeping it between you, Brittany and the people you’re closest to. You ran into Rachel Berry last week and you didn’t even tell her. She’ll know when you publicly announce it and that’s fine with you.

At one, you leave work. You told your boss that you have an eye doctor appointment and you think it’s okay to lie just a little. When you were younger, you lied all the time, but now you try to keep it on a must do basis. After you leave work, you take the subway downtown and when you walk up the stairs, Brittany is waiting at the top. You kiss her on the street and you think how you lived half of your life afraid to do that very thing. But now it comes so naturally to you, now you can’t imagine doing anything else.

“How’s your stomach?” She asks you as you walk down the street.

“It’s okay, I’m still a little nauseous, but I’ve been mildly nauseous for four months so I’m used to it.”

“I guess you’re ready to get them out?”

“I don’t know, Britt, it’s weird. As much as I’m sick all the time, I actually really love being pregnant. I know this kid isn’t doing much inside of me yet, but I like to know that they’re there, that I’m carrying our kid. It’s a big deal.”

“It’s a really big deal.” She smiles at you. “The biggest.”

With your hand in hers, you walk into the doctor’s office. You’re nervous, you always are. It’s in your nature to think the worst, so every single time you walk through those doors, you think she’s going to tell you that you’re not pregnant anymore. You’re not sure how you would manage it, how you would survive knowing that this little baby you already love so much would never get to exist. You know that Brittany would be your rock, she always is, but it scares you to think about. You’re young, you’re healthy, it shouldn’t be a fear, but things happen and you worry because sometimes you think it’s all you know how to do.

“Santana, Brittany?” Dr. Young peeks her head through the door after you’ve sat for a few minutes. “Come on back.”

Like she always does, Dr. Young gives you your privacy as you change out of your clothes and into your gown. Brittany smiles at you as you do, her eyes drifting down to the barely there swell of your belly and you smile back. You love the way she looks at you. You always have, but it’s something else now that you’re pregnant. It’s like her eyes share a secret with you and you love it. Once you’re dressed, you step over and give her a soft kiss, just reminding her that you love her, before you situate yourself on the exam table.

When the nurse comes in, she takes your blood pressure, your pulse, your weight and she asks you how you’re feeling. You tell her you’ve still been sick and she makes a note in your chart. Brittany speaks softly to her and tells her that it’s something you want to talk to Dr. Young about. She knows that you’re been trying not to complain, but it worries you. You’re grateful she speaks up because as much as you’re happy to carry her baby, you’d love to do it without all of the vomiting. Then Dr. Young comes back in and you settle back on the table.

“So, you’re still feeling sick?” She asks you gently, putting her notes down and coming up beside you.

“Very.” You nod. “All the time.”

“I’m going to write you a prescription for doxylamine. Hopefully that will help and if it doesn’t, call me.”

“Is that safe?” Brittany asks, writing the name down on the little notepad she always brings.

“Yes, it’s a good one to be on. I usually prescribe it for hyperemesis gravidarum, which is just a fancy medical way of saying chronic severe morning sickness. It should help.”

“Good. I hate seeing her so sick.”

“Probably even more than I hate being sick.” You laugh a little, because you’re sure that’s true.

“Are you ready for your ultrasound?”

“We are. We can’t wait for a new picture.”

“We’re going to finally announce the pregnancy on Facebook with this one.” Brittany beams.

“Have you decided about knowing the sex?”

“We...have we?” You look at Brittany and she shrugs.

“Whatever you want to do.”

“I know you want to know.”

“And I know you’re on the fence.”

“I mean, it’s either a surprise now or a surprise in five months. I think we can know.”

“Really?” A grin spreads across her face. “Because that would be super awesome.”

“We want to know.”

“Okay, here goes.”

You shudder a little as the cold gel is spread on your stomach and Brittany stands beside you, squeezing your hand. You can tell by the way she squirms that she’s really excited and you love that you just made her so happy. When the baby shows up on the screen, you cry a little—everything makes you emotional—and she wipes the tears from your cheeks, eyes never leaving the squirming baby. They really look like a baby now and you can’t help but long to have them in your arms. Five more months and they’ll be a person, five more months and you’ll get to share yours and Brittany’s love with someone else.

“There she is.” Dr. Young smiles and you feel your heart in your throat.

“She?”

“She.”

“She’s a she.” A grin spreads on Brittany’s face and she kisses your lips. “That’s what you wanted, Santana.”

“I wanted a healthy baby.”

“It’s okay.” Dr. Young laughed a little. “Everyone always wants one more than the other.”

With new pictures of the baby, of your daughter, you and Brittany leave the doctor’s office. Since she’s been practicing her cooking for the past year, she’s insisted on making you dinner, so she tells you to go lay down and relax while she starts whatever elaborate meal she’s making. She knows that you’re always tired in the afternoon and you give her a kiss and tell her to come lay with you whenever she has her prep work done. Both of you are so over the moon that you think being together is too much excitement for one room though, so you go to sleep and wait to feel her presence beside you.

You’re not sure how long you’re asleep for, but before you know it, you feel Brittany kissing your forehead, gently waking you up. You open your eyes slowly and look up into hers, savoring every moment you get to spend with her. Marriage isn’t always easy, but you know it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. You cup her face gently, just pulling her closely, and you press your lips to hers, drinking her in.

“I love you, Brittany.” You whisper and a smile spreads across your face.

“I love you too, Santana, and I think this is our best anniversary yet.”

#brittana #brittanas5thyear

[marril96]

Where You Belong

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: You’re bored. Rowena doesn’t care.

A/N: Based on this prompt by @drink-it-write-it​.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian​

*****

As soon as you stepped foot in the living room, Rowena, sparing you a brief glance before lowering her eyes back to the thick grimoire in her hands, said, "No."

"You don't even know what I was gonna say!" you protested.

"I don't have to — I can see it on your face," she said nonchalantly, as if he were talking about the weather. Which was horribly sunny, given your predicament. "And the answer is no."

"You're no fun," you whined, pouting. She paid you no mind, uninterested in your antics, only letting out a small scoff to let you know she'd heard you and she was not going to play along.

She could be so mean sometimes. Jokingly, you wished you'd never fallen in love with her, though you knew it was impossible not to. As flawed as she was, the woman was so damn lovable! Even if she put on an act to convince people otherwise. You'd seen right through her, and still could. Once you'd seen Rowena's sweet, gentle side, you couldn't forget it. In your eyes, it would always be her. The true her. The cold, bitter walls she'd built to protect herself nothing but a see-through shell, hiding the gem that laid within.

You sat down next to her on the couch. "I'm bored."

With the coronavirus going around and quarantine encouraged, almost imposed, there was nothing to do. Nowhere to go. You and Rowena, powerful witches each in your own right, weren't at risk. Even if you were to get infected, magic would take care of it. Still, better safe than sorry.

The two of you had stocked up on food and other necessities weeks ago. Not in fear of the virus (Rowena did not appreciate your jokes that, being almost four hundred years old, she was at the highest risk of complications), but rather because people were buying like crazy and stores were quickly running out of the most important stuff. Now, you were packed for weeks. No need to leave the house.

Even the Winchesters had taken a break from hunting. The brothers had generously offered you and Rowena shelter in the Bunker. The two of you had declined, your house quite safe thanks to the protective spells you'd cast, but you appreciated the gesture. If it came to the worst (you doubted it but, but just in case), you were always welcome in their home.

"That sounds like a you problem," Rowena said dryly, not taking her eyes off her grimoire.

You pouted, feigning offense. "I wanna hang out with you."

"I don't."

"Meanie."

"I would like to read my grimoire in peace." She paused. Took a breath, two, three. "Please."

Like that was going to work. If anything, it made you more persistent. "You've read it like a hundred times already!"

"This one is new," Rowena said. "I traded a dried heart of mandragora for it."

Of course she did.

"You can read it later."

"I want to read it now."

There was no bargaining with her. Didn't mean you wouldn't try. "Please, sweetie? I've got nothing to do."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Read a book."

"I'm not in the mood." You thought you would be, that being quarantined would be a perfect opportunity to read some of the books you'd accumulated, but you couldn't get yourself to do it. You couldn't get yourself to do pretty much anything. "I wanna be with you."

She scoffed. "And I want fillet mignon from my favourite restaurant, but I can't get that, can I?"

"Not my fault it's closed," you said with a shrug.

"Not the point, dear."

You groaned. "Pleeeeease." It was the whine of a wounded dog and a spoiled child. Usually a perfect weapon; Rowena was quite susceptible to it. When she wanted to be. Which she didn't seem to at the moment. "Wena." Cutesy nickname; weapon number two. Then, puppy eyes, and, "I need you."

She groaned, exasperated. On the verge of defeat.

You leaned your head on her shoulder. "I love you," you said softly. Exactly the way it warmed her heart to hear. "Baby girl.".

Rowena sighed. Beaten. Defeated. She slammed the grimoire shut and shot you a look that had killed before, the kind that was worse than a glare and froze the blood in the veins of anyone who dared slight her. You'd stopped fearing her ages ago; you doubted you ever truly did. Even back when she was a wicked witch, you knew there was more to her than met the eye. She couldn't scare you, no matter how hard she tried.

By now, it had become a game of sorts. She would glare. You would act nonchalant. It felt good to be the only one who wasn't afraid of her, the only one she trusted enough to let them not be afraid. You were certain she liked it, as well. Not many people dared challenge her, push her buttons for the mere sake of pushing them. You stood up to her, and she seemed to enjoy it.

Since day one, you treated her like a person. She held grudges, but she also remembered the good things. The positive things. Gratitude, though not expressed in words, was something she held on to.

"You're a menace, you know that?" she said in a tone that was too exaggerated to be true irritation.

You grinned. "But I'm your menace."

She sighed dramatically. "I have made a horrible mistake."

"Aw," you groaned with a pout, "you know you love me."

She eyed you for a moment. Forced her lips into a straight line to hide the smile threatening to spill over. "Maybe."

Her arm slid around you, hand gently rubbing your forearm. You snuggled closer, enjoying the sensation. Nerves calming under the soft, gentle caress of her skin across yours. This was the Rowena you loved. Sweet. Tender. Warm underneath the ice.

"I'm glad we're together," you said. "I wouldn't wanna be quarantined with anyone else."

"Me as well, dear," Rowena said after a few moments of silence. "Even if you sometimes make me want to set myself on fire again. Willingly."

"That's dark."

She chuckled. "My annoying wee girl."

"My wicked witch-bitch," you teased. She lightly smacked your arm. "Ow! No violence!"

"You deserved it." Her head leaned on top of yours. "What is it you would like to do?"

"I don't know," you admitted. You wanted to be with her. Or rather, wanted her to entertain you for you couldn't do it yourself. "Cuddle, I guess?"

She put her other arm around you. "Sounds good to me."

"And after, do you think we could—"

"No."

"But—"

"I have made myself clear, Y/N."

Damn it! There was no changing her mind, it seemed.

Oh, well.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, and then you laid down. Her arms never left you. You nestled in her embrace, in her warmth, and soon your eyes fell closed and a nap took you over.

When you woke up an hour later, Rowena was still there, still holding you with love in her eyes.

Being with her was right. True. Exactly where you belonged.

You wouldn't change it for the world.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie​ @oswinthestrange​ @songofthecagedmoose​ @apurdyfulmind​ @getthesalt-sam​ @metallihca​ @salembitchtrials @jay-eris​ @hellsmother​ @elizabeth-effie​ @shadowgirl-vsb​ @rowenaswife​ @wonderifshelikesroses​ @xfireandsin​ @liddell-alien​ @hotdiggitydammit​ @lae-lae​ @darkhumorsblog​ @angel7376​ @cherrypierowena​ @evil-regal-vampiress​ @collectorofsecretsandsouls​ @angel-e-v-a​ @a-queen-and-her-throne​ @carryon-doctor-lock​ @fangirlxwritesx67​ @rowenaslilwitch​ @midnight-lestrange​

#rowena #rowena macleod #spn #spn family #supernatural #rowena x reader #fanfiction #my fics

[zippiestdraws]

Choking Curiosity CH 5

read on ao3

ftm reader x michael myers

The dense weave of the hoodie slows the blade, but only makes the kill more intimate as Michael adds more pressure. He watches it slowly cut through the fibers and dig into the flesh underneath until it gives, sinking sharply into the sternum of one of the vandals. The night is late and in broad view on a suburban sidewalk, help is so close but snatched from his victim’s reach with his large hand pinching her cries in her throat. Her shrouded companion lies crumpled and bleeding in the grass of someone’s front yard. His hands were warm with the blood thickly lubricating his blade, the tang of it growing in the air.

In the climax of the kill, his adrenaline drew on the memory of his knife tantalizing your body. Standing beholden of his work and wiping the blade on the arm of his coveralls, the action had given way to his decision. His patience broke and he’s done with watching now.

There wasn’t a plan, but Michael is satisfied with running on instinct.

*** You didn’t tell Quentin what you saw. It went against your better judgement, but it would make you sound crazy. “There’s someone in your house now. Dressed in a sheet.”

You couldn’t sleep with it on your mind, but neither could Quentin so the two of you traded sleepover talk until you passed out. At one point you were tired enough to share how you ended up here after being cut off from everything you once knew. You must have fallen asleep during his story, you only recall him telling you that he came out here to escape something.

Using his phonebook and house phone, you were able to schedule a locksmith to change your locks urgently. Before that appointment, however, you needed to meet Laurie at the coffee shop she chose as the ‘crowded public place’.

Quentin offers to drive you, but you insist that he’s done enough for you and that it isn’t too far if you head out early. You almost regret it, running on so little sleep, until you remember Quentin would be driving on even less.

Looking around awkwardly, trying not to obstruct the counter in front of the entrance, you see Laurie stand from one of the central tables and wave you over to one farther in the back by the restrooms.

She gets down to business quickly, asking for all the details quickly after greeting you. You mention the little things before adding up to what happened last night. The relief you feel when you see that she believes you is emboldening, so you tell her about the tape you set up and even the sheet ghost.

“He isn’t dead.”

“Wh-who?”, You fiddle nervously.

Her steely gaze steals your breath as she talks in a voice laced with anger.

“Michael Myers.” Laurie drops a pile of papers onto the table and starts to slide each of them individually in front of you. “Two years ago on Halloween, he murdered my friends and tried to kill me.” A tear runs down her cheek and she wipes it away with vitriol before composing herself and gesturing to the papers.

Newspaper clippings.

A headline over a black and white print of a mask. The papers are littered with annotations in red marker. You look closer and read the important pieces. Sightings, disappearances, homicides…

“All in the last two years. There’s no killing the boogeyman. And there’s no stopping him if he wants you dead.” Her eyes hold a determination that makes you squirm.

She’s succeeded in making you scared at least.

“Well what do I do?”, your voice escalates a little in panic.

She looks at you with pity.

“Get a gun.” she says solemnly.

You promise to keep in touch and leave feeling the weight of a target on your back.

*** Michael treated the occasion as any other day, except perhaps indulging in a more noticeable amount of food than normal, until he heard your keys in the door.

You came back from work much later tonight. Perfect.

Your footsteps trailed lazily up the stairs and Michael positioned himself where the door would swing into the wall. The knob turned and he waited.

It snapped back into place, ruining his anticipation. He listened carefully for your next move. Quiet steps to the bathroom. Pause. You were running.

He yanked open your bedroom door but you were already outside.

He was careful enough. How did you know?

Maybe you were smarter than he gave you credit for. Minimally impressed, Michael went downstairs to observe through the living room window. You were in the neighbor’s yard, but you had to return eventually. You had nowhere else to run.

He distantly remembers two halloweens ago, the opposite, the neighbors had shut the porch lights on Laurie.

You looked back to where he stood and Michael didn’t bother to hide.

Time passes sluggishly as he watches for your exit. Before it comes, the sound of sirens growing closer aches in his ears. He should have expected you to call the police, but a storm cloud rumbles inside him anyway. Michael stays in place until you pass out of his view crossing the yard, then leaves knowing there is nothing to find.

The pasty cop trespasses the threshold with his flashlight and gun in front of him. Michael can see you in full view under the streetlights, watching your insecurity like a voyeur.

You shuffle uncomfortably in your work clothes, listening carefully from the curb until the sweep of the house is done. Standing just off the porch, the officer writes on his notepad with an uninterested posture. The specifics of the conversation don’t reach until your voice raises at the tone of accusations toward you.

This new vibrancy of expression draws Michael forward before a second car pulls to the curb. He can see your anger fester as you sling an indignant remark at the back of the retreating pig, earning a quick exhale of amusement.

You pushed the cops away, but you also brought them here. The multitudes you contain confuse him. He wasn’t interested in killing you just yet, but you won’t get away with this that easily.

If you hadn’t had Michael’s attention before, you definitely had it now. You leave in the other car, to his surprise, but he can keep playing cat and mouse.

*** He was satisfied to toy with you last night. Michael smiles minisculely at the thoughts as he woke. Sleeping in a car gave him a crick in the neck, but he massages it away and climbs into the front seat.

He’s stolen a car before and it’s not hard.

Timing must be on his side, because you exit the house before his eyes, the sunlight streaming onto you and the autumn leaves like a picture. Michael peels off his mask, his hand landing on the stick shift ready to follow suit. His eyes leave you long enough to meet a pair of aviators sitting on the dash and he dons them before bringing the car to life.

*** The car engine dies as you enter the shop, the windows casting a glare, but not enough to shield the clueless people within. A wave of blonde catches his attention and he sees a familiar face wave you over. He feels nothing.

Then you will be prepared. So will he. *** When you get home, the branded car of the locksmith is already waiting out front. You apologize for keeping him waiting and you unlock the front door, silently feeling safer to not enter on your own.

The handyman gets to work quickly and you make yourself busy by scrounging together his payment. You’re more than happy to loiter nearby as the locks are changed.

You’re happy you can cross this repair off your list, but the feeling of being exposed when you’re alone again doesn’t leave. You ignore it to change out of your not quite “walk of shame” clothes.

Peeling off your shirt as you walk up the stairs, you’re temporarily blind and stumble on the last step. You toss it onto the floor of your room ahead of you and make for the rest of your clothes until a force from nowhere throws you back onto one of the walls, knocking the breath out of you.

You grunt at the shock and Michael pounces.

Your eyes shoot open wildly and you manage a small gasp before a large hand cuts you off around your throat. The intruder towers over you and gets close, casting a shadow upon his prey before you feel yourself rise and your toes no longer reach the floor.

The white mask from the photographs stares into you, eyes indiscernible in the darkness underneath. You kick out at him, desperate to break his grip. Your arms aren’t long enough to reach his face and beating at his arms and hand prove futile.

Michael watches as your face shifts from surprise to anger and then to fear as you realize how very mortal you are. Your warm pulse races ever faster underneath his fingers.

He could very easily kill you, and the urge itches pleasantly in his hands. But then the fun would end. He tries to squash the small desire that’s been slowly infecting him like a virus. You should be nothing to him, he wants you to be nothing, it’s normal for him to feel nothing.

His hands flex and you hiss underneath him. Your fighting hands slip off him and you dangle helplessly on the edge of consciousness. Your eyes don’t focus on him, but some point elsewhere, in a resolute way.

Your body hits the ground as Michael’s head screams at his hands for releasing you. He steps back from you, watching stiffly as you sputter back to life on the floor.

You don’t even register what’s happening, heaving and rubbing your throat when he leaves. When your clarity returns, you scramble on your knees to slam the bedroom door behind him and lock it.

He could be a snitch. Michael gives in to the feeling you won’t be calling the police after yesterday. Frustration consumes him and he grits his teeth at you wresting his control from him.

Tears are running down your face and you don’t feel them until you wipe them away. You’re alive. Why didn’t he kill you? Laurie said there was no stopping him if he wanted someone dead. Michael Myers killed without remorse.

Your head swims when you lift yourself off the floor. Right now you need to find a way out. You really wish you didn’t leave your bat by the back door. You have no phone, no weapons, and you’re on the second floor. Even if he didn’t catch you after jumping out a window you definitely can’t afford a trip to the hospital right now. The only way out is through.

Looking around your room, you find nothing that would make for good defense, but you’ll have to make do. You pull your shirt back on and unplug your cheap reading lamp from the wall to hold it by the base.

Every noise the door makes while unlocking and opening makes you flinch. Your bare feet pad across the floor silently to the stairs, stepping carefully to avoid the creaky parts of the boarding.

Every step is full of adrenaline as you hold your life and a lamp in your hands. You peer over the railing as far as you can into each room along the central hallway as you descend. You’re three steps from the bottom and crane your neck to peek around the corner of the archway next to the stairs.

You see blue coveralls and black boots and twist to run silently back up the stairs.

Michael takes two large steps to the stairs and grabs your leg with his left hand as you run, watching you fall hard on your ribs and the lamp goes clattering down around you.

You feel your ankle released and scramble up the stairs on all fours, turning around at the top to see your tormentor standing at the bottom looking up at you as if it were a game.

The two of you are at a standoff, you breathing heavily over the softer sounds of his breaths behind the mask.

You hear your own voice croak in an unfamiliar way. Your throat throbs painfully.

“Why didn’t you kill me?”, you don’t know why you ask.

His head tilts at you curiously, stealing your breath.

Michael doesn’t know the answer either, he does know this is the first time you’ve spoken to him and the words resonate in his skull.

“Have...have you been living here?”, you rasp quieter this time.

His arm flexes, and you see the shine of a knife changing position in his right hand. Your pulse races and you look back into the eye-holes of the mask. This time you can see further.

The sun is setting and painting an ethereal and gold waning light from behind his fit form. One eye deep blue and another pale against the sclera lock with yours.

You lose yourself looking harder, until you blink and he’s moved away, walking heavily down the hall into the house. You stay put, listening.

The back door squeaks open and shut, and you’re alone with your adrenaline.

#Michael Myers #michael myers x reader #Slashers #slasher x reader #male reader #trans writers #choking curiosity #content warning #violence

[fics-of-my-mind]

Trust - Chapter VIII.

‘Why are you out here? It’s freezing,’ Nick said, burying his hand into his pockets.

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ I shrugged.

‘Why?’ he asked, sounding concerned.

I turned my face towards him, hoping that he’d just do his thing and I didn’t have to explain myself with words. Nick was looking at me softly, yet he was waiting for a real answer.

‘I can’t… Think inside,’ I started, turning back towards the view to the harbor. It was easier than looking at him, though I could feel his gaze on me, just like his body almost touching mine. ‘You’re everywhere,’ I whispered. ‘I just feel like I can’t breathe because being here with you is making me crazy and… so guilty.’

I could feel Nick looking at me for a long moment before running a hand though the back of his hair and chuckling in agony.

‘It’s funny,’ he said after a while, which made me turn towards him. I didn’t find anything funny in our screwed-up situation. ‘Being here with you is actually the only thing that let me take a deep breath for months.’

Warnings: mature content, BDSM content Pairing: Nick Jonas / Other Female Character This fanfiction can also be found on Wattpad by fnntth

I don’t own Nick Jonas or any other recognizable characters. This fanfiction is completely fictional, its only purpose is entertainment.

Chapter VIII. - A promise that never was kept, one of those moments you'll never forget

Nick’s texts are bold

Milla’s texts are italic

When in the beginning of May they started to lift the restrictions, Nick acted instantly.

I’ll be in Stockholm next weekend

meet me

Are you serious?

I couldn’t believe him. I wasn’t even sure if it was possible to travel from my country or his country. Stockholm, Sweden. I’ve heard that they were taking the virus quite lightly there, so I guess Nick did his homework.

yes.

I don’t know…

I wasn’t exactly feeling comfortable already traveling. Not that I was scared of the virus anymore, but they just loosened the restrictions.

And, seriously. Nick wanted to meet me. Nick Jonas. Now that the quarantine seemed to be over for a while, he somehow regained his persona as the world-known popstar, actor, celebrity. Besides, he had a wife.

please

I need to see you

I hit the call button beside his name. We needed to talk about this.

‘This is just crazy, Nick,’ I said instantly as he accepted the call. I didn’t care if he was at a comfortable place to talk, or if he’s had people around him, but I didn’t give a shit. He couldn’t just ask me something like this with no further conversation.

‘No, it’s not,’ he said without thinking. ‘I’m officially going to see some songwriter friends for some collabs.’

‘And won’t it be suspicious if you have no new songs?’

‘No. These writing trips don’t necessarily equal new songs. They are just a good way to be creative, and sometimes great things come out of them,’ he explained.

‘And you want to spend the weekend with me?’ I asked, biting my lip.

‘Yes,’ Nick replied, sounding sure of himself, like he had absolutely no doubts about this idea. ‘Please say that you’ll come.’

I stayed quiet for a while, thinking about our options. I desperately wanted to see Nick. But…

‘If I come,’ I started slowly, trying to put my concerns into words. ‘It will officially make me a home-wrecker.’

Nick contemplated my words before answering.

‘I won’t let that happen,’ he said, sounding sure and committed. ‘I respect you way too much to put you into that situation.’ I can’t describe how much that statement warmed my heart.

‘C’mon, Nick, I’m pretty sure that I’m already the other woman in your marriage,’ I chuckled bitterly. ‘You, me and a weekend in Stockholm won’t exactly help.’

‘I’ve never touched you,’ Nick said, sounding a little bit less sure now. ‘You can’t be the other woman if nothing physical has ever happened between us.’ It was bullshit and we both knew it. Yet, I’ve stayed quiet, listening to his words. He paused, waiting to see if I was going to interrupt him, then continued: ‘I’ll make sure nothing happens in Stockholm either, if you come.’

‘You won’t touch me?’ I asked, half-chuckling. It was impossible to imagine the two of us being in the same room and not touching each other, especially after the night of FaceTime sex.

‘No,’ he said slowly. ‘I promise.’

Maybe it was only because I’ve missed him so much, or because I just wanted to see him. Or perhaps because I was a little crazy. Anyway, ten minutes later I had a plane ticket booked to Stockholm for next Friday.

The week went by sluggishly slowly. I was looking forward of the trip, yet scared shitless of what was going to happen. I was excited and anxious, didn’t know what to expect. I was doubting the decision to buy the plane ticket, not sure that it was the right thing to do in my situation.

It’s not like I could talk to anyone about it. None of my friends knew about what was going on, they had no idea that I was talking to Nick in the first place. I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to be out of the country either, I just told my boss that I need a day of holiday, turning my weekend into a long weekend.

I could feel that Nick was nervous too. He seemed worried that I was going to change my mind, he checked every day – sometimes twice – if we were really going to see each other on Friday. He also kept an eye on the corona situation, briefing me every time about the slight changes.

On Friday morning, I woke up at 5. My plane was leaving at 12 o’clock my time, so I only had to be at the airport by ten, yet I couldn’t sleep. I triple checked if I’ve packed everything, I took my dog to the neighbor for her to look after him, and by the time the clock hit 8:45, I was calling a cab. Normally I didn’t mind spending time at the airport, but I was a little worried about how the COVID situation might change things.

It was all fine, only barely any people were in the waiting terminal of the airport. I looked around in the duty free stores, bought a coffee and a sandwich and by the time boarding started, I was antsy and could barely sit in one place. I surprised even myself, but not once did I think about not boarding the plane and cancelling the whole trip. Nick was worth it, every risk and every worry.

We agreed to only meet up at the hotel Nick has booked for us. He wanted to pick me up at the airport, but I said it was way too risky. We should avoid any risk at being exposed – not that I believed that anyone would care about a nobody like me, but he was Nick Jonas. What he did, mattered to people, they were interested. I had no idea how crazy the fans in Sweden were, but we shouldn’t risk anything.

By the time I was waiting for my luggage at Stockholm Arlanda Airport – by the way, it was my first time in the country -, my stomach was in knots and I felt like I was going to throw up in a minute. I wanted to see Nick so much that it hurt – at the same time I was extremely anxious about this meeting. What if he didn’t like me in person anymore? What if it was all going to be awkward? What if he won’t show up, because he realized he wasn’t interested in me after all?

In the taxi it got even worse. I felt like the driver knew that I was on my way to completely break up a happy marriage. That I was a whore, that I was a homewrecker, the other woman, someone who didn’t give a shit about the sacred institution of marriage. I tried concentrating on the beautiful city around me, but I couldn’t. I was thorn between wanting to do the right thing and wanting to see Nick.

When I arrived at the hotel, the minute I gave the fake name Nick has booked the hotel room to the receptionist, I could feel the judgement coming from her. What kind of woman would be someone that was meeting up with a man in a hotel room? Especially in an exquisite five-star hotel room.

On the way up to the top floor, in the elevator I felt like I needed to scream. I bit my lip so hard, I’m sure the marks of my teeth were deep enough to see, I had my hand in fists and as much as I wanted to appreciate everything around me, as beautiful as they were, I couldn’t. The only things I could concentrate on were Nick and the guilt of being someone that destroys a marriage in a few minutes.

Because, you see, until we only went on a random late-night sightseeing trip and talked on the phone, we weren’t technically doing anything wrong, nothing that I’d even consider worthy of destroying a marriage. What we did was pure fantasizing and talking about our problems, our thoughts. But now, I was only a few steps away from physically entering a hotel room with a man that had a wife back in the US. This was the definition of cheating. Even if we didn’t touch each other during this weekend at all – which I couldn’t really imagine as much as I wanted -, we were a married man and a single woman in a hotel room, in a country where neither of us should’ve been, with no one knowing about our plans to see each other.

It was all wrong. Yet my guilt about being a home-wrecker was nowhere near as big as my desire – need – to see Nick, the boy whose company has gotten me through these past two months, the loneliest time of my life. The boy, whose voice could instantly calm my nerves, who could take my mind off anything, and whom I cared about much more than I ever thought I would care about any man.

Before I touched the keycard to the lock of the door 912, I needed to take some deep breaths. I could do this, couldn’t I? I was able to go in and spend time with Nick, my friend, without doing anything really stupid. I was a smart girt and he was always in control of his actions. We could do this, keep ourselves from committing adultery and just spend some quality time together.

The moment I set foot in the hotel room, I literally forgot how to breath. Nick was standing in front of the huge windows, so I could only see his back. He was wearing a white dress shirt and some black washed jeans, his hair looked a bit unruly, probably a result of running his hands through it so many times. As he heard the door open and close behind me, he immediately turned around, his handsome face full of worry and anticipation. When our gazes connected, it seemed like he was sharing my symptoms of acute respiratory failure.

It all dawned on me at once. All of the feelings, all of the fears and desires and dreams. It was too much, for a person to be feeling all of this at the same time. Sadness, happiness, need, fear, anxiety, longing, guilt, excitement… and many more things that I couldn’t even describe.

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes and I couldn’t decide if they were tears of sadness, happiness or simply just stress. It was like the world stopped for as long as we were staring at each other, not being able to say a word. I never thought something like this was possible, just forgetting how to function because of another person.

I wanted to run into his arms and hug him so close to me, probably never let him go. To kiss him deeply, to touch him, explore his skin in person, to be intimate with him, to show him how much I care. I wanted him to comfort me, to make me forget everything that was happening in the world, to calm me, to be the only thing on my mind. But it wasn’t possible, was it? I couldn’t touch him like I wanted to, I couldn’t be with him in the way I needed to.

And this broke my heart.

‘I… I can’t do this,’ I whispered as a teardrop rolled down on my face. I couldn’t torture myself with spending time with him, when he’d never be mine the way I really wanted him. I couldn’t hold myself back from touching him. I just couldn’t. Two days in this room, with distance between us seemed like a nightmare.

I shook my head and with one last glance at Nick, I turned around. I shouldn’t have come here. It was a mistake.

‘Milla,’ I heard his voice and the sound of his steps, and the moment I slightly opened the door, he pushed it back, closing it. I tensed, feeling him stand way too closely behind my back. I could feel heat radiating off his body. I was holding onto my suitcase with one hand, the other was still on the doorknob. I couldn’t move, Nick completely paralyzed me. ‘Stay,’ he whispered, his lips touching the back of my head.

I sighed, slightly tilting my head backwards. As much as my mind knew that I needed to leave, that I couldn’t do this, my body betrayed me. It wanted to be as close to Nick as possible, touch him in any single way.

Nick was perhaps feeling something similar, since this little movement was enough for him to let the door go and place both of his hands on my waist, turning me around carefully and pulling me to him, as close to his body as physically possible.

I gave up, my body won this fight.

My hand let go of my suitcase and found Nick’s neck as I buried myself into his arms, as close as I could. I let his muscular arms wrap around me, feeling small in his arms. I let his fingertips press into my sides, as he was pulling me even closer. I let him bury his face in my hair, pressing a tender kiss to my temple. I let his unique scent fill up my lungs.

I only realized I was sobbing into his chest when he started shushing me and carefully running his hand up and down on my back. I guess it was all of the stress and all of the emotions together to make me react like this. I wanted to pull away, a little bit embarrassed of myself but Nick wouldn’t let me.

‘Shhh,’ I heard his deep voice full of emotions. ‘It’s okay, dear.’

‘Nothing about this is okay,’ I mumbled into his chest, but didn’t try to pull away again.

I felt home. Suddenly all of the last two months’ loneliness was gone. I felt safe and content, like nothing in the outside word mattered, only the fact that I was in the arms of the man I probably trusted most in my life. And while it was a nice feeling, the guilt of it was also eating me up. He wasn’t mine, his job wasn’t to make me feel safe. He had a wife at home, a wife that had no idea what her husband was currently doing, that he was in a hotel room countries away with another woman.

‘I thought you promised you weren’t going to touch me at all,’ I noted long-long minutes later, after my tears stopped and I was able to normally breathe again. Nick let me pull away a bit, but still had his hands on my waist. He was close, probably way too close. His eyes were dark and glistering with countless emotions, yet his face stayed expressionless.

‘I’m not going to touch you in any way I wouldn’t touch a fan or a friend,’ he nodded, his voice a bit hoarse.

‘Like that is going to do the trick,’ I said sarcastically, chuckling bitterly. Just because he wasn’t going to kiss me or we weren’t going to have sex, it didn’t mean that we should’ve let the guilt go.

‘Don’t be like that,’ he asked softly, and I could see on this pretty face that he really was asking, not ordering this time. This version of him, this caring and cautious boy in front of me melted my heart a little bit. His fingers were slowly caressing my waist before he let go of me completely, and I immediately started missing the warmth. ‘The suite has two bedrooms, I’m going to put your suitcase into one,’ he announced, and before I could even nod, he was pulling my luggage from behind me, before I could change my mind and try to leave again.

After fixing my makeup and freshening my face up in the bathroom, I walked back out to the spacious living area of the suite, exploring a bit. It looked amazing, with a great view to the harbor. This must’ve cost a fortune to Nick and I felt a little bit guilty for letting him pay. I did offer him that we should stay in different hotels, but he shot the idea down instantly. He said, he wanted us to spend as much time together as possible, so he opted for the best solution, us staying in the same hotel room. Before I could put up a fight, he’s already paid for this suite.

I mindlessly ran my fingers on Nick’s black Dolce jacket, just thrown on the back of the couch, then shushed my guilt about the money thing away. He was Nick Jonas, this was spare change for him. Besides, he was the one inviting me out here, so I shouldn’t make this into a big deal, it was fine.

I walked out to the balcony, leaning onto the railing as I took in the view in front of me. Never once would I have thought that my first time in Stockholm would be a secret trip with Nick Jonas. It was kind of ridiculous, even crazy what can happen in life in a few weeks.

‘Do you want some wine?’ Nick asked, returning to the living area after having changed his dress shirt to a plain black tee.

‘Sure,’ I nodded, taking a seat on the comfy looking couch outside. I was in my leather jacket and jeans from the plane, but since it wasn’t too warm outside, I didn’t mind the extra layer of clothing on me.

‘Here.’ He handed me a glass of white wine, and after sat down on the other end of the couch. I thanked him, grateful for something that would relieve some of the tension about the situation.

I couldn’t turn my glance away from Nick. He looked so handsome, and at the same time so normal. It was strange, seeing him like this, like it was just an average day. I’ve only seen him in interviews before, or through the screen of my phone, and this was different. So mundane, so ordinary.

He never looked away from me either, his eyes remained mainly fixated on my face. I didn’t care that he knew I was staring at him, as I didn’t care that he was staring too. We’ve spent months of talking to each other, he knew me, my thoughts, my fears better than anyone else in my life, yet we’ve spent so little time actually being in the same place or just seeing each other.

Never did I believe that you can get close to someone who you’ve barely even met in person before. It was just another strange thing in life, the fact that we did get close to one another without physically being anywhere near.

‘What?’ I asked with a bashful smile on my face when he started chuckling softly.

‘I’m just so happy that you’re here,’ Nick said, and he really seemed that. He was so relaxed, much more than I’ve ever seen him before, and his aura relaxed me too. I was happy too. Guilty, but happy. It was a strange thing, to be feeling something so positive and so negative at the same time.

‘This is so surreal,’ I chuckled, taking a sip of my wine.

‘Yeah,’ he nodded. ‘It is also kind of amazing.’

‘Yes, it is.’

We’ve spent the afternoon mindlessly talking about anything and everything. It was such a change, actually seeing his face when he spoke, seeing his reaction to my words. I’ve known him for months now, yet it was like we’ve just met. Exploring each other’s mimic, hearing each other’s voice for hours… it was all new.

About half an hour into our conversation I’ve almost completely let go of any negative feelings in me about this trip. This was so worth it, I was probably happier than ever since Barcelona. Seeing Nick, being with Nick… Made me so happy that I couldn’t even begin to describe.

The stupid, beaming smile never left my face, and I couldn’t really concentrate on anything other than Nick, his moves, his body, his face. He wasn’t close to me, he remained on his spot on the outside couch and I stayed in mine. His face mirrored my expression, he also seemed unusually happy and calm. I loved seeing him like this. It wasn’t Nick Jonas in the suite with me, it was just Nick, the boy I’ve gotten so close to in the past months. He was just a normal guy, not a world phenomenon.

For dinner we’ve ordered some room service: mini hamburgers, fries, nachos and some fruits. Until it arrived, I went into the room Nick has put my bag into to change into something more comfortable, sweatpants and a white T-shirt. When I walked back out, Nick was checking his sugar at the dining room table.

‘Tell me about it,’ I asked.

‘The diabetes?’ he asked, glancing my way from the table as he was waiting for the result.

‘Yeah,’ I nodded. ‘I know you can manage it and it doesn’t hold you back from living your life to the fullest.’

‘Well, it was a process,’ Nick said. ‘At the beginning it was scary, but as I got into the routine, it became part of my everyday life. Now checking my blood sugar isn’t really a task, but just part of my days,’ he shrugged.

‘You have an insulin pump, right?’ I asked.

‘It’s called a Dexcom,’ he nodded and lightly raised the bottom of his T-shirt to show me the white device attached to his belly, close to his V-lines. ‘It does most of the work, but I still have to check if everything is all right.’

‘And what if it doesn’t?’ I asked, biting my lip. ‘I mean, I just want to know what I need to do if you aren’t feeling well. Teach me,’ I asked.

I’ve never dealt with type-1 diabetes in my life, so up until now I didn’t need to know the details. Talking to Nick through the phone didn’t make it necessary either to me to be educated on the dos and don’ts of his condition. But being here with him, especially with no one else around, I just didn’t feel quite comfortable not knowing what I need to do in an emergency. It was important and it wasn’t just something I wanted to ignore. It was part of Nick, an important and dangerous part.

He looked at me in awe for a long minute, and I had no idea what I’ve said. It was like he was surprised yet touched from my questions and request.

‘Thank you,’ he said quietly, sounding much more grateful than the situation would’ve requested him to be. ‘Come here.’ Nick reached out and I walked beside him. ‘See this little screen?’ he asked and I nodded, looking at the little device in his hand. ‘This shows how my glucose levels were changing through the day. The red dots mark the times I’ve measured my blood sugar with a finger prick. This little device usually keeps my blood sugar in check, but sometimes it can’t, that’s why I can’t neglect the finger pricking.’

‘And what if the device has a failure, or it just doesn’t work and there is a problem with your sugar?’ I asked.

‘If the traditional blood sugar measuring device says that I’m too low, I usually need to eat something. I always have snacks on me, like candy bars. If I’m high, I need insulin. You can find that in the inside pocket of my jacket, or my bag,’ he explained, motioning to the Dolce jacket on the couch.

‘And if you just suddenly start feeling sick and we don’t have time to measure your blood sugar?’ I asked. ‘How do I know if you’re high or low?’

‘Difference of symptoms.’ This was a side of Nick that the outside world barely seen anything of. Of course, everybody knew that he was diabetic, sometimes he even talked about it in interviews, but never this deep. He was a professional in this topic, he had to be. ‘High blood sugar comes with nausea and blurred vision most of the times, or extreme drowsiness. Low blood sugar is accompanied by shaking, fast heartbeat, sweating, dizziness and weakness.’

‘Okay,’ I nodded, making a mental note of these symptoms. They were essential for me to know.

Dinner was light and easy. Talking to Nick was like talking to my best friend. I didn’t have to think twice about what I was going to say, and after all the times I’ve been embarrassed in front of him, it seemed like now I was over it. I trusted him, and he must’ve trusted me too, since he was sharing very confidential information. Hell, the fact that we were in this hotel room was very confidential itself.

Seeing him so mundane, so normal, really just a guy changed it for me. I mean, the past months since we’ve known each other, I got to know him as just Nick, the amazing guy, but I never forgot that he was Nick Jonas, my teenage idol. Now, spending a whole day with him, being in the same place as him, most moments I managed to forget his last name and I only saw the most amazing person in him.

I felt happier than I’ve felt for a while, and it was all thanks to the curly haired boy with me. We joked around, flirted and talked, but he never once said anything inappropriate, and he also kept to his promise of not touching me. At all. Truth is, it was making me a little bit crazy, being in the same hotel room with him, yet not being able to touch. Nothing disturbed out peace, not even a phone call from his wife – which is probably due to Nick being on a ‘songwriting retreat’.

It was dangerous and exciting and painful and sweet. Sometimes during the evening when we walked by each other and our skin would accidentally touch, I could instantly feel shivers running down my spine. Nick usually just smirked, clearly noticing his effect on me, which was quite ridiculous. It was fun and crazy at the same time, his stupid effect on me.

The real problems started when bedtime came. Neither of us really wanted to sleep, we were keen on enjoying each other’s company as long as we could. It was one in the morning when we said our goodbyes, Nick breaking his promise a little and giving me a kiss on my forehead. A small gesture that made my heart go faster and made me long for him even more. It was extremely hard to turn around and walk into my room without glancing back, yet it was right. Sleep never came, though.

After an hour of trying to fall asleep unsuccessfully, I gave up. My mind was full of Nick – like always -, but now my nose was full of his scent, my fingers were trembling with the need to touch his skin, to explore it, get familiar with it. I was missing the warmth radiating off of his body, his pretty face, his pink lips smirking.

It was crazy, he was literally in the room next to me, yet I was still missing him. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what this was. My body and mind were both longing for him and it caused physical pain that they knew I couldn’t have him, not the way I wanted.

He was married.

He was Nick Jonas.

He was unavailable, at least for me.

At two in the morning I got out of my bed only in my satin PJs, and exited to the balcony, but not before grabbing the box of cigarettes from my bag, a little accessory that I’ve brought with me just in case. I was tense and pretty sure that I’d have trouble falling asleep anyway. Maybe nicotine could calm me, at least enough to fall asleep without jumping Nick first.

It was a bit chilly, just the beginning of May, plus in a northern country, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. It felt great, like I could finally breathe a little, like Nick’s intoxicating signature musk finally left my nostrils, at least for a few minutes. As I inhaled, the smoke filled up my lungs and as much as I usually hated it, now it felt like medicine to the dying.

‘That’s a quite nasty habit.’ His voice startled me a bit, his scent filling up my nose again straightaway. I sighed.

‘It’s not really a habit,’ I shrugged. I only smoked occasionally and he knew it. ‘Not like smoking cigars is any better.’

‘Yeah,’ he chuckled, standing next to me. He was wearing some loose sweatpants and a white T-shirt, his hair was messier than an hour earlier. ‘These nasty habits have brought us together though,’ he noted.

‘They did,’ I nodded, thinking back on how crazy these past months have been, how much I’ve gained with Nick in my life, and how much closer I’ve gotten to him.

‘Why are you out here? It’s freezing,’ Nick said, burying his hand into his pockets.

‘Couldn’t sleep,’ I shrugged.

‘Why?’ he asked, sounding concerned.

I turned my face towards him, hoping that he’d just do his thing and I didn’t have to explain myself with words. Nick was looking at me softly, yet he was waiting for a real answer.

‘I can’t… Think inside,’ I started, turning back towards the view to the harbor. It was easier than looking at him, though I could feel his gaze on me, just like his body almost touching mine. ‘You’re everywhere,’ I whispered. ‘I just feel like I can’t breathe because being here with you is making me crazy and… so guilty.’

I could feel Nick looking at me for a long moment before running a hand though the back of his hair and chuckling in agony.

‘It’s funny,’ he said after a while, which made me turn towards him. I didn’t find anything funny in our screwed-up situation. ‘Being here with you is actually the only thing that let me take a deep breath for months.’

We looked deeply into each other’s eyes for long minutes in the moonlight. Nick looked more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him before, and also a bit helpless and brutally honest. This confession of his made my heart melt, but also hurt me, making me sharply inhale the cold Stockholm air.

All I wanted to do was close the distance between us and finally, after these long months just kiss him and forget anything else. Comfort him and myself at the same time. I didn’t want to care about the outside world.

But I did. I was just that person, who couldn’t let her concerns and fears go.

‘Don’t say that,’ I asked quietly, before breaking our connection and turning back towards the view, putting out my cigarette. ‘You’re the married one. You have a significant other. You can’t just say things like this to me.’

‘Do you think I want to?’ he chuckled dryly. I glanced at his face from the corner of my eye, only to see an incredulous and pained expression on it. I hated seeing him like this. ‘Don’t you think I know that this is wrong? That I want to want to be with my wife? Want to think about her all the time, daydream about kissing her, fucking her, loving her?’

I knew he wasn’t expecting and answer so I stayed quiet. Nick’s voice started rising, he seemed a bit angry now.

‘But I can’t!’ he exclaimed. ‘Any time I picture any of those things, my amazing, caring, loving, beautiful wife isn’t the one in my head, as soon as I close my eyes, it’s you, you, you! And I just can’t help it. Don’t you think it’s making me crazy too?’ he asked, not waiting for an answer again. His expression was tense, he gesticulated fervently. I couldn’t move, I was so shocked from this sudden emotional outburst. This talk was timely to happen, yet I didn’t expect it to be so… sudden and intense. ‘I thought I was happy with my marriage, my wife, perfectly content with my life. But the moment I met you… You were like fresh air that I didn’t know I needed. I’m so drawn to you and I can’t help it.’

‘Nick…’ I started, but I had no idea what to say, so I bit my bottom lip instead. Nick looked at me for a long minute, studying my face and weighing his options. Then, with a little hesitation he stepped closer and put a hand on my arm that was holding onto the railing.

‘I know this isn’t fair,’ he started, his voice heavy with emotions and much calmer than before. ‘It’s not fair to Priyanka, to me, to the world and especially to you.’

‘What do you expect me to say to that?’ I asked, after looking into his eyes for a minute. I couldn’t take it, all the emotions I was feeling and the expression on his face. This was torture.

He stayed quiet for a while, his hand laying on my arm, giving me goosebumps. The skin on skin contact made me suddenly aware of how close we were to each other, and how much I wanted to be even closer. But it was wrong, this whole thing was crazy.

‘Can we just… Pretend that everything is okay? Just for the weekend?’ he asked a bit sheepishly and it broke my heart that he felt the need of looking to the ground. As an instinct, I raised my hand to his face, gently making him look at me. I felt like my heart was exploding from the touch of his stubble, the heat radiating off of his skin.

I wanted to say that is was going to be okay. That Priyanka wasn’t waiting for him at home, that what we were doing wasn’t awfully wrong. That this was normal.

‘Can we sleep together?’ I asked quietly, answering his desperate question with a question. ‘I don’t mean sex, just… Sleep in the same bed?’ I needed to ask this question. I wanted it, a little bit of intimacy between us, something that didn’t count as cheating. But Nick was the one that needed to okay it, he was the one that needed to deem as acceptable for his conscience.

He didn’t answer for a few minutes and I started to feel like I was overstepping. Maybe it was okay for me, but it wouldn’t be okay for him. Before I could dive deeper into my doubts, he slipped his hand from my arm to my palm and enlaced our fingers, pulling me towards his bedroom without another word.

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