#literally the best bias line I could have chosen

[rebuke-me]

broadway bmc critiques

this is a list of all my critiques of broadway bmc, in no particular order. this is not a post meant to hate those who are fans of Broadway bmc, because preference is subjective. I did my best to keep personal bias out of it, but some aspects are inextricable. please keep discussions civil. if you think critique will make you upset, I encourage you to skip this post.

- the writing is significantly watered down for the audience. while the original show was not a masterpiece of writing by any means, it only occasionally talks down to the audience. part of my interest in the original show was the open-ended characters. however, in the Broadway version, subtext is made into text, and that really hurts the show. most of the characters in tr had presumed depth, whereas bw wrote sync up: a song telling everyone exactly what was wrong with every character, rather than having the viewers observe it for themselves through dialogue and actions. tr already laid that foundation, it already had the character development. fans had already been analyzing the characters for years, and everyone pretty much got what they meant. bw felt, to me, like it was holding my hand through it and explaining to me every aspect of the characters.

- the writing of the new songs especially is. incredibly contrived. I've listened to the songs as I can bear (I do not like some of the voices in the songs, so I will admit to not listening to all of the songs, but I did make an attempt.) and the writing is significantly worse. while the tr songs weren't masterpieces, by any means, they were at least catchy and fun. the appeal of the bmc music is the earworm of it all, the way that it's fun and memorable. the bw versions new songs have not stuck in my head whatsoever, unlike the previous songs. loser geek whatever is another case of telling the audience rather than showing it: fans of tr already knew Jeremy was upset about being an outcast. we understood that. his decision at the end of upgrade was understandable to audiences, although usually not agreed with. an entire song with the writers literally physically telling the audience how he is feeling, in simple rhyme and a melody that doesn't stick out, wasn't necessary. a new song was intriguing, and could have fleshed out plot holes of the original show, but instead just tried shoving another square peg into a hole we had already been made aware of.

- fan pandering. this is an aspect of every media that has a large internet fan base, especially in the past ten years. while some aspects of the show may have been in the plans all along, the Broadway version feels like they were too engrossed in the fan culture. im a big proponent for creators being divorced from their fans, and the Broadway version is why. the addition of more moments implying a romantic connection between rich and michael at the end, with no discussion of character development, felt shoehorned in for the fans. Michael as a whole shifted closer to the fanon interpretation of him, rather than remaining the character from the original show, becoming more soft spoken and awkward.

- failure to add in diversity in a respectful way. (to preface this, I am a white person. if I say anything out of line in this section, I am more than willing to admit that, and would love to hear from the perspective of poc bmc fans, especially black fans.) a main critique of tr bmc in my opinion is the way it handled a lot of heavy topics, including diversity and the like. bw bmc made strides towards giving roles to non-white actors, which is always a good thing. however, the characters chosen for the diversity were made more stereotypical for being made into poc. jenna rolan became more of a stereotype of a talkative, phone obsessed black woman. Jenna is the less egregious example of this, as she has more depth. however, jake being black makes his character traits of being the child of money launderers, being violent towards others, being unhoused and physically harmed in the fire, not knowing how to "speak properly" at times and being a "player" seem more racially motivated. of course, none of these aspects of a character are bad, per se, but all combined into a character that is now black feels stereotypical.

- failure to fix some issues with tr. I am always willing to critique my own interests. while I have a preference towards tr, and a fixation on it, I will admit it has issues. notably, these include telling rather than showing (an issue that only got worse in bw), the treatment of female characters, and a variety of other issues. female characters in bw still have the same issues, as a whole. brooke is still the stereotypical blonde ditz. she does get a bit of development, but an opportunity for her to stand up for herself could have been needed in bw. christine is still little more than the love interest, and still ends up with the main character at the end, despite being meant to be a feminist, complete with patch on her jacket. the female characters rarely talk to each other about anything other than a man, or gossip, usually about men. none of them form solid friendships with no romantic ties with almost any of the male characters, either. the show costumes the characters in apparel that preaches feminism and writes a message about equality and being yourself, yet bars most character development from the female characters. this could have been rectified in bw, considering an entire song was added and scenes were rewritten, but was not.

I have other issues with the show, but those are more personal critiques with preferences, rather than in depth analysis of why I think the show is not as beloved by the fan base as a whole. those aren't going to be added here, because a lot of them don't lend any credence to my arguments, they're just personal opinions on character choices and actors.

if anything I've said in this post is incorrect, please let me know. I admit I'm not very well versed in the Broadway show, since I very much dislike it, so if any details are incorrect, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

also like. don't be a dick in the replies and tags please, that'd be nice. civil conversation and debate is okay, but attacking people for their interests is not.

#bmc #be more chill #Broadway bmc critique #bmc discourse #< kind of #be more chill musical

[space-writes]

writing questions tag!

tagged by @lexiklecksi, thank you!!

1 - What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

Hm…I love all my current wips, but I think my favourite fun idea was the one I had for nano a few years back, called Gywnn Doomshard vs the Forces of Light, which was a comic fantasy from the POV of the literal forces of darkness, where instead of the Heir of Darkness being chosen from the long-time family of darkness for the most recent go-round of ‘fight the forces of Light’, his bodyguard got chosen instead.

It was a super fun book, playing with loads of tropes; the dragons unionised, magic only worked on you if you consented, there were imps everywhere, the Castle of Darkness was partially sentient…it’s an idea I really want to go back to one day. It’s very inspired by things like Dungeon Keeper/War for the Overworld, Grunts!, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Shrek and that kind of trope-y, fun genre. All the characters were so much fun to write.

2 - Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Nothing comes to mind particularly.

3 - What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

When I get to the point in a story where I’m making it do what I want. When all the ideas come together, I get that little spark of ‘yes!’ and I can make the words sing. (also I love creating characters).

Obscure grammar rules can go away. I can’t remember them. I have to google things all the time. English is a stupid language and no-one should ever speak it but unfortunately it’s the only one I know.

4 - What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

To have the story I want to read. And lately, to make the people that read my writing go ‘AAAHHHH SPACE WHY’. That latter is the reason I’m planning to post Renegade Prince online somewhere with comments. I love those interactions. I save all the good comments I get and look at them when I’m feeling down.

5 - What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

That one tumblr post/several variations on it that if you’re stuck in a story, go back about ten lines and try again. If you write yourself into a corner, reverse out of the corner. It has saved me so many times: whenever I get stuck, I think of it, and apply it, and it fucking. works. every time.

6 - What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

That editing is where the magic happens. That first drafts are just to get an idea down, and that your writing will shine afterwards.

7 - What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Honestly recency bias is showing, but some of my fics lately I just really love. The series they’re part of aren’t done, but the stories themselves are. so for right now, I’m going to say body mine from obsession. It’s nothing like what I usually write, but it was so much fun to weave that strange little story and try something different.

8 - What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

WRITE IT BADLY. Write it badly, write it badly, write it badly, write it badly. Stop what you’re doing, open a Word document, put a pencil on some paper, just get the idea out of your head. Let it be good later. Write it down now. Otherwie it will die in there. - Brandon Sanderson

9 - Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

hm, I don’t know about controversial as such…certainly Vizaeth has the most unusual mindset: he’s so wrong about so many aspects of his life, but is fully convinced he’s right about them, and that the pain those things cause is correct (to be inflicted upon him, or upon others). Personally I don’t think even therapy would fix him, but it would help.

Otherwise, perhaps The Daemoness, who is an OC I rarely write about publically, but is the ruler of a hive-mind empire she built herself. Her powers enabled her to chain souls to herself, so every demon on her planet, and every creature on every planet she dominates become a part of her. She believes she’s doing what’s necessary: her actions ended the wars on her planet, and by taking over other planets, she leaves ‘peace and unity’ in her wake. However, she is by her nature a very bloodthirsty creature and craves the challenge of battle, so she’ll never be satisfied.

I just really like characters whose actions are reprehensible but whose internal logic chains make perfect sense to them, such that they couldn’t be another way. I disagree with Demoness that ‘dominating and soul chaining every living thing in the universe’ is the way to achieve personal satisfaction and universal peace, but damn she’s fun to write when I do write her.

10 - If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

younger me would be so extremely hyped. look at all these words we wrote! we finished things? actually finished them?? and people like them?

they’d be a little confused at how gay and trans everything is but don’t worry, they’ll figure it out.

no-pressure tagging @vollzz @loopyhoopywrites @sam-glade and @saltwaterbells

blank questions under the cut:

What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

#writeblr #tag games #writing questions tag game #space has thoughts #zero pressure on the tags ik this is a longer one! #but this was fun!!

[lord-radish]

I've had some thoughts about the Mandela Effect for a while now.

Like I get that it's just a fun internet phenomenon that shines a light on a sort of "benign" form of mass hysteria, where an error enters the public lexicon and a large swath of people believe the error to the point where the eventual truth is disconcerting and jarring. Theoretically, that's cool. Awesome observation, fun little trend to point out those little idiosyncrasies. It's also an interesting comment on ignorance, because a handful of people were just straight-up misinformed about the life and death of Nelson Mandela and they blew that up into this big thing.

However, regardless of anyone's best intentions, the Mandela Effect is also a way to excuse ignorance and turn both it and misinformation into an argument of belief. I strongly believe that the Mandela Effect is an anti-intellectual standpoint - it's possible to engage with the concept as just a thought experiment, but there is a point where it begins to have more widespread ramifications.

There are people who take the Mandela Effect, a thought experiment about colliding timelines and alternate realities, literally - to the point where they do believe in a series of colliding timelines as a legitimate explanation for things they believe that don't line up with reality. When offered two choices - an outlandish thought experiment involving an infinite number of divergent timelines infinitely merging and leaving people with foreign memories of a reality that now ceases to exist, and the simple concept that they might have innocently been wrong about something - people choose to give the thought experiment equal weight to the thought that they might have been misinformed.

This is useful for people who want to disseminate false information and argue in bad faith. It gives people the choice between a comfortable lie and an uncomfortable truth. It lets people talk their way out of being wrong - I wasn't ignorant to the fact that Nelson Mandela was the president of South Africa for decades, I'm simply one of a chosen handful of people who hail from a timeline where he died in prison.

I had a friend who became fascinated by flat earthers and began to argue their viewpoint in earnest. According to my friend, it's not that the earth is really flat, you see; it's just that exploring the possibility is a worthwhile endeavour for scientists to do so they can conclusively rule it out, and it could help alleviate the anti-science bias that many flat earthers share due to being pushed out of academic spaces and the associated shame of being belittled by their supposed peers.

That was the start of his fascination with UFOs, pseudoscience, and eventually far-right figureheads like Ben Shapiro. Is there a connection? I don't know - dude probably trended more towards conservativism in the first place. But when he began entertaining ignorance on the same level as fact, he just sort of... kept going.

The next step after flat earth conspiracies was the Mandela Effect.

I'm bringing this up because one day, we were talking and the Mandela Effect came up. And he said that actually, it isn't the Mandela Effect - it never was. It's the Mandala Effect.

It fits the concept pretty well - according to Wikipedia, "A mandala generally represents the spiritual journey, starting from outside to the inner core, through layers". Layers of reality, folding in on themselves in an infinite journey. It's not the Mandela Effect any more, where a group of people were independently ignorant of a major facet of world news in an airport lounge. It's the Mandala Effect - a map of the deities and a spiritual journey hailing from Eastern mythology.

And like the Mandela Effect is wont to do, I had this awful sense of dissonance, like my brainmeat was being pulled two ways at once. But rather than it being because of a long-standing misconception that had just been corrected, ala the Berenstain Bears, it was because it was never the Mandala Effect. It was a popular internet trend that stemmed from people being misinformed about Nelson Mandela. This was a new origin for the thought experiment, a blatant lie that's congruent with the internal logic of the thing it's trying to supplant, being presented as the truth.

The attempt to fold the Mandela Effect in on itself and change the nature of its origin, presentation and message was a blatant attempt to rewrite its own history. It was exploiting this new little shortcut to tell people a blatantly false statement, but because of how close Mandela and Mandala are as words and because the Mandela Effect is all about how those similarities and resulting misconceptions are due to shifts in reality, someone had managed to convince people like my friend that the Mandala Effect was just as valid of a choice as the Mandela Effect.

This bullshit new way to address the thought experiment was - to my friend - just as valid as its actual origin in that fucking airport lounge. And my friend insisted on calling it the Mandala Effect to continue the thought experiment, insisting that it was the true name of the phenomenon from that point on, and he kept taking it further and further even after everyone started getting sick of it. Like with the flat earth stuff, a degree of it was him being a contrarian. But he kept insisting on it.

That's always going to stick with me. People get defensive about the Mandela Effect, how it's just having fun - and if you can keep a healthy sense of boundaries and remain grounded in reality, treating it as the hypothetical thought experiment that it is, that's 100% fine. But I'm adamant that the Mandela Effect, when taken further than that, is an anti-intellectual viewpoint that makes it easier to disseminate false information.

Sometimes you're just wrong about shit, even about stuff you're 120% sure that you know front to back. It's okay to be wrong. Literally everyone is wrong like that at one point or another in their lives. It's humiliating, but a part of being alive is realising that you're wrong, growing from it and correcting yourself. It's okay to be wrong sometimes.

And the Mandela Effect is a fine hypothetical to play around with. I'm not saying it's inherently evil and an irredeemable tool of political radicalisation. I think it can be a tool of political radicalisation, equally platforming a fantastical mistruth against actual, real-world reality and facts - but yeah, people can engage with the concept behind the Mandela Effect as they see fit.

I'm concerned about the potential misuse of the Mandela Effect to spread misinformation and to give people an excuse to be disingenuous and intellectually lazy. I've been thinking about the effect and my own distaste for people platforming ignorance, and this is the conclusion I've come to. That's my gripe.

#the mandela effect #mandela effect #mandala effect #the mandala effect #long post

[wind-sage-serin]

What is Stark-Hylian Faith?

Stark-Hylian Faith is the modern name given to the mid-2000s Pop-Culture Pagan movement known as Naroin, coined by surviving member and Sage Serin Kyneri. It postulates through theories involving alternate realities that Hyrule’s chosen were, either due to catastrophe or simple migration, moved to the world of Stark, which is believed to be the same world and/or universe of our Earth.

Though the Annex Wiki talks of both Naroin and the related festival mentioned, Solissey, as simple fanfiction, the fambudzelda proboards forum was active with a clear and deliberate spirituality. This had been running since at least 2007-08 when the Founding Document was produced, up until at a currently unknown period, the forum hosting site shut down either that particular forum or the whole hosting site as a whole. Since then, the FB group “Chamber of Sages” has been used specifically for those who wanted to remain in touch. Regrettably, the FB group itself is a bit of a ghost town as well.

I, Serin Kyneri, not content on letting the baby be thrown out with the bath water, am now seeking to revive the tatters to piece together not only this part of internet history, but to preserve what could be a founding block of overall Hylian Faiths.

Specifically with regards to Stark, the belief of Hylian migration or transportation (if divinely done) comes with a quite horrifying conclusion, that being that if the legends are taken into account it means that Ganon can (and likely will) pursue.

There’s most certainly an aspect of an apocalypse theory here, one that absolutely made me frightened as a young one. Though I admit it’s a scary thing to imagine, the other caveat is that there will be a Goddess-blooded individual as well as a Hero to come to the aid of the people.

The matter now is… who?

Though the Founding Text implies the stipulations that the Golden Goddesses gave the writer, Zelda Farore Barrow, are prophetic, I’m not entirely sure I feel they are accurate to today’s world. After all, it was 2007, and there was a political zeitgeist, and humans don’t always write everything without bias or a concerned hand. Not that I necessarily want to throw *everything* out, of course—just that given there was a revision later on that included Atlantis theories, I have to maintain a healthy skepticism.

I think there’s something important to the matter of the bloodline of Hylia— being in Stark for so long, it’s possible that the line has become a huge and tangled tree. Perhaps we will not see a single princess this time, but several regents of different and widely varied walks. The Hero may also be a title more than a literal single soul that keeps getting reincarnated as the same entity every time, but I would need a better grip on how the information we have describes Demise’s curse.

As for Sages, there’s a lot to be found and a lot they can do. From the 6-7 meant to Seal the Sacred Realm, to the Earth and Wind meant to sharpen and empower the Blade of Evil’s Bane respectively, to the Wealth of the Champions, whose efforts are vital to weakening the Beast Beneath, there’s a lot of people to be found.

——————————

Additional Notes

I still feel my place as the Sage of Wind has remained firm after all these years. Though a quiet existence, I know the role I play, especially with my personal Picori and Kokiri past-life identities. I feel I have been asked to prepare for something big, whether that be a coming Calamity or perhaps simply a change in the awareness of Hylia’s presence here. Either way, my job as a Stark-Hylian Scholar is to seek as much information as I can to best prepare for whatever I sense on the horizon.

I don’t think we are presently in extreme danger, despite unfavorable politics. But should there be an instance where we are I want as many to be ready as possible. Being Picori, I consider knowledge, gratitude, and luck to be some of the most vital gifts to provide to mankind. They are something Hylia likely directed my ancestors to administer surreptitiously in her stead.

Thus I continue this tradition by preserving what I know and applying it going forward.

Alright, I think I should get some sleep. I recently brewed an herbal tea that I’m hoping will help me catch a glimpse of the Fated Blade’s new shape. Whether that Blade needs to be forged or found is still unknown, but regardless I pray for results.

#serin.exe #pc paganism #zelda pc paganism #documents

[nyctophilin]

The fact that Hyunjin and Jeongin are like.. besties???? Fuck, I win in life🧍‍♀️

#literally the best bias line I could have chosen #fight me on this🧍‍♀️

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

From anon: B*tch pls.. fuck t*ek*ok. 

When I was talking about more deserving duos I mean: TAE F*CKING JIN. T*ej*n are so hated by people like you, solo stans, BH... literally everyone and their mama hates these sweethearts. 

Dear anon,

Thank you for reaching out and correcting me. You hadn’t mentioned which duo you were thinking of so I assumed Xkook, but I was wrong. Sorry about that. I cannot confirm that everyone hates Tae and Seokjin, even less so since everyone I’m friends with or have come into contact with in all my years as ARMY has shown nothing but love for them, separately but also together. Personally, Tae and Seokjin are my bias wreckers together and I adore their bond immensely, their dynamic and bond being so fun, supportive, understanding, and cute. As I’ve mentioned in the past, which I’m sure you’ve seen, I don’t see whatever it is you see in their bond that is supposedly romantic, but I have nothing against you thinking otherwise.

Since you said that Tae and Seokjin are a more deserving duo for vlives, which I’ll assume also means that they never had a vlive, I took the liberty and did some research on that. I hope you don’t mind. I checked every vlive done by two members together since 2015 that I could find and put them on a list. I didn't take vlives into consideration that had 3 or more members, and also not ones where the second member was an unplanned and/or very brief guest, like Tae stopping by Hobi’s bracelet vlive or JK calling into Namjoon’s 7 album vlive last year.

Here are my results:

As you can see Tae and Seokjin did have a vlive back in 2015 (though it’s only a little more than two minutes long), the last vmin vlive was in 2016, and many other duos didn’t have a vlive until last year, including Namjin. Hobi and Seokjin, as far as I could see, have never had one together. Meanwhile Yoongi and Hobi have had the most out of all duos. 

Fun fact: All the members, except for JK who had 15, had an average of 23 solo vlives since 2015.

You casually sensored their ship name... so pls spare us your nonexistent moral compass.

Perhaps you haven’t read many of our posts other posts, it’s more than okay if that’s the case, but I censor all ship names except for Namjin and Vmin. It’s just a question of us being more comfortable this way. Nothing against the duos and their names.

Have I been cheeky toward other shippers in the past, especially toxic ones? Certainly. Have I ever shaded any duo within Bangtan? Absolutely not. As ARMY I enjoy every bond within the group, including any bonds and interactions that vmin and namjin have with the other members.

This blog is “thoughts on bangtan” but the minute we ask about T*ej*n your real colors come out. 

Across 256 posts I believe I’ve spoken about Tae and Seokjin as ship perhaps twice, and otherwise simply as two wonderful members of BTS whom I greatly appreciate. My true colors, well, they are full of love toward them so I’m not quite sure where I might’ve said something negative, since I assume that’s what you mean.

I cannot say that I’ve ever actually received any questions about Tae and Seokjin, only perhaps two asks like yours that called me out in not necessarily the friendliest of ways for not seeing them as having romantic potential and one about their conflict during Burn the Stage. I do have two questions about Seokjin’s bond with JK sitting in my inbox though, as well as Seokjin’s bond with Yoongi.

In my post yesterday I spoke about how I’m sure there is a way for T*ej*nists, and any other shippers for Namjoon/Seokjin pairing, and namjinists to live alongside each other, and even in harmony, and there have been asks since that post that prove as much. A difference in duo preferences doesn’t have to stand between us, especially since we should all be ARMY first, shippers second.

Keep shipping trashy Vmin and Namjin all day, while T*ej*n are actually living their best life. Just don’t act surprised one day when you find out they were actually the REAL couple all this time.

As person existing within the shipping community, yes, I only focus on vmin and namjin, since they are the only ones that my careful observations over the years have led me to the conclusion that there is real romantic potential there, but does that mean I have something against people who think otherwise? No. Or against people who ship something else? Also no, as long as they aren’t toxic and keep their shipping away from the members and places where they can see it, like the vlive comments.

I’d kindly ask you to not insult my chosen pairs much the way I would never insult yours either. It’s not a nice thing to do, and I’m sure Tae and Seokjin also wouldn’t like it.

Should the day come where it would turn out, for example, that Namjoon really has a secret boyfriend and Tae really is with Seokjin, or any other member or non-Bangtan person, then I would be surprised, yes, but I would still be happy for them. Finding love in a safe and genuine way in their line of work is incredibly hard so whomever the members will end up in relationships with (or are in them currently) and spending their lives with, I hope they’ll be happy and they’ll treat them well. I hope you feel the same way, even if it might one day turn out that you are wrong. 

Thank you once again for reaching out, but unless you would like to have a normal, civilized discussion, I don’t see a need for further conversation and asks about this. Clearly my opinions and yours are different, and as much as I won’t change my mind, you won’t change yours either. Our blog clearly isn’t for you, since we are a OT7 and vmin/namjin focused one, but I’m sure there are plenty T*ej*n blogs out there that you could interact with and read.

#answered ask

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Mod, who are your top 10 favorite characters and top 10 least favorite?

//I have actually been wanting to discuss something like this, so I’m glad someone brought it up to me.

//I’ll go through with this, but I won’t be discussing my least favorites, since I don’t want to bring any negativity, and to be honest, I enjoy writing pretty much everyone in this blog. I also fear if I share who my least favorites are in the main series, said characters won’t get as many asks, and I don’t want any unfair bias. I can definitely admit to hating Haiji though, because...well...he obviously won't be receiving any questions anymore. Besides, I doubt many people will disagree with me.

Honorable Mentions:

Makoto Naegi

Mahiru Koizumi

Kirumi Tojo

Kaede Akamatsu

Tsumugi Shirogane

Shuichi Saihara

Iroha Nijiue

Mikihiko Koyasunaga

Yoruko Kabuya

Tsurugi Kinjo

Uchui Porosen

Kibin Hatsudoki

//Though to be honest, everyone may as well be an honorable mention because I love writing every single one of these guys. Also, like I just said, don’t let this top 10 affect your asks. I love every character in this blog and I’m happy to make asks for each and every one of them. It was really hard to narrow it down to 10

#10: Tenko Chabashira

This might seem a little surprising, given that Tenko hasn't had a whole lot of screen time and story relevance so far. She's only been prominent in two arcs, Deadly Harmony and Novoselic Revolution, both of which she didn't have as much screen time as most of the other characters. However, not to spoil anything major, I have big plans for her, and what I've pulled out of her so far is something I'm proud of. My main goal is mainly to give her a bit of development, and tone down on the sexism element of her character. Not remove it entirely, mind you, because let's be real, Tenko unfortunately isn't Tenko without it, but basically to not do what the DR dev team did and make it the forefront of her character, while her other exceedingly good traits are just at the back until later on in the story.

#09: Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi is one of, if not, my favorite character in the original DR series. My main goal of him in this series is trying to grapple with his constantly changing attitude, mainly towards the DRV3 cast besides himself. At first he's glad to see them, then he turns spiteful towards Shuichi and Kaede when they try to fight him, then he straight up just abandons them and attempts to cut off contact. As he is right now, he's conflicted about how to feel about everyone. Sure, they all still hate him, but during Cabaret Kyojin's they came to his defense when he most needed it. That whole arc might've seemed pretty pointless and acted as needless filler, but my true intention of it was to flesh out the characters involved, mainly Kokichi and Kuripa. Speaking of which, that's another plot point that I'm looking forward to branching upon: the little companionship those two have going on right now.

#08: Monaca Towa

Monaca is a character I actually tend to struggle with in the grand scheme of things. The reason being that, arguably, she in canon is the second biggest antagonist in the series behind Junko. What I tried to do with Survivor though, is not make her an antagonist, but make her slowly become more and more redeemable, despite her actions. The reason why I went with this approach is mainly due to Monaca's last appearance in the series, where she states to Toko and Komaru that she's kind of just done with everything to do with Junko and Despair. I don't think it would be easy to bring her back as an antagonist because of THAT fiasco, and that is legitimately one of favorite scenes of her...which is funny because it's from DR3 and I kinda hate the anime. Her whole presence in Survivor is based around the idea of trying to seek redemption, but she doesn't outwardly want to admit this, nor does she really think she's worthy or deserving of said redemption. She's an adult now, and she grew a conscience. A guilty one that weighs her down and makes her come back to earth to basically settle things and make peace, and though it's been difficult, I love how she's turned out so far.

#07: Akira Tsuchiya

I understand many have their reservations about Akira after what he did this arc, but he's still legitimately one of my favorite villains in this blog because despite the fact that he's a psychopath who kills and ruins people all just for causing Despair, he's just kinda super relatable. He constantly lives with the attitude of just being done with everyone's shit, and I know a lot of DR fans can relate to that. He's also the kind of guy who marches to the beat of his own drum, which is obviously a very slow beat. He rarely ever does what Tsumugi tells him to do, unless the plan interests him or gives him something to do, and his character in general is based around the idea of "Shut-in NEET who just so happens to have a power complex." Overall, what makes him unique to me is just how normal he is, especially when he's compared to the chaotic sea that is the Danganronpa Villains.

#06: Mikan Tsumiki

Novoselic Revolution had the very important role in the story of mending Mikan. Without her efforts and the sacrifices she made in that arc, there's a high chance that the group would have failed to retake the kingdom from Angie and Mikihiko. It goes without saying that the screentime Mikan got in this arc was some of my absolute favorite moments on this blog from a writers perspective. A lot of people in DR dislike Mikan for her actions and character change in the third case of the second game, which I really don't think is fair. Mikan was just the character chosen to be afflicted with the Despair Disease. Nothing else would have been changed had it been a different character, so her role early on in Survivor is mainly her trying to come to terms with her actions, as well as things like making things right with Hiyoko (and Ibuki by extrension) and reevaluating whether or not she's a good person. Mikan is an emotionally and mentally broken child, and it's my full intent in my writing of her to heal her wounds like she does for so many other people.

#05: Narumi Osone

Easily my favorite Zetsubou villain in the blog. During Novoselic Revolution, I really buttered up how much I enjoyed writing Mikihiko, but in reality, I was just waiting for the Rebirth Duo (her and Akira) to burst onto the scene. She didn't make for as great a twist villain in Life and Lies of Akeru Yozora as I would've liked her to be, but even now, I still feel like she left an impact. I mean, she committed quite the number of atrocities. The main reason why I like Narumi though, is how she diverges from the rest of the Zetsubou group. While most of them are doing their evil things for reasons that constitute to causing as much Despair as possible, she does it for almost the complete opposite reason. She absolutely despises Despair, and the only reason she's with Organization Zetsubou, is so that she can patiently await and watch as the Hope that stems from the people fighting back. It's also plays into her ideal. Narumi is so obsessed with Hope that she believes that anyone and everyone who is without hope, and gives into Despair, doesn't deserve to live (and ideal that also allows her to easily hit it off with Nagito). To name the best example: The UUV. Their revenge fantasy is based around the Despair they feel post Ayumu and Marin's deaths, and not around the Hope of their goal of reforming society, even if by force. When Narumi notices this, is angers her so much she murders all of them in cold blood, believing them to be beyond redemption. As a final note, Narumi's violent nature and lust for bloodshed (and lest not forget her weird obsession with Makoto) is also made all the more tragic when you remember she's literally just a 14 year old kid with not a lot of life experience. For someone to be this far gone at such a young age is pretty depressing, but it also provides me with a lot of great writing opportunities, and god damn it she isn't a fun character to write.

#04: Mukuro Ikusaba.

I could pretty much just copy/paste the basic things I said about Monaca's personal conflict for Mukuro, but on a much more extreme level. This is something that I plan on actually branching on later down the line, but Mukuro's backstory and reason why she has a presence here is briefly mentioned by Sayaka in one post. To sum up what she said, when the Foundation were first starting to use the machines to bring back the victims of the first killing game, Makoto was the one who suggested possibly bringing Mukuro back, something that understandably, his classmates initially were against. However, at the time, Kyoko was still new to being the Foundation Chairwoman, and Makoto very much pressed the issue with her. Kyoko eventually agreed to the resurrection, but in exchange, any and all actions committed by the soldier, most notably any treacherous or bad ones, would subsequently be Makoto's responsibility. Of course, as you can imagine, Makoto accepted these terms, and Mukuro was resurrected. For a while afterwards, many were very wary of her presence, and most didn't outright accept her as a member of the Foundation, even when the Remnants of Despair officially signed up. What you have to remember is that Mukuro wasn't really brainwashed into helping Junko, at least not in the same way that the Remnants were. Most of what she did for Junko is what she did willingly, but Makoto felt that in reality, Mukuro was just another one of Junko's victims and she'd never known Hope in her life, which is why she turned out so chaotic, so his whole intention of reviving her was to redeem her honor, of which he was pretty much successful. The main trait of Mukuro's though that I tend to focus on, is arguably her most serious: her PTSD. Of all the characters who could have been hit hard with PTSD, it makes the most sense for it to be a soldier, and since the beginning of her revival, Mukuro has been cursed by the lingering ghost of her dead Despair sister. Junko's presence in her mind less drives Mukuro insane though, and simply makes her doubt herself and her presence, wondering if it was worth being revived, or whether or not she truly deserves to live. But regardless of how she feels, she's duty bound to the end, and still supports everyone unquestionably, especially towards those in her own branch being Makoto, her boss, the man who saved her, and of course her undeniable love interest, and Kuripa to whom she disciplines, but also acts as a mother/big sister figure to.

#03: Hajime Hinata.

It might just be me, but I feel like Hajime in particular is the fan fav in this blog. I feel he's shown up in more posts than any other character, which is fine by me given he's also one of my personal favorite characters, and is probably my favorite protagonist (it really changes depending on my mood, honestly, I think they're all as great as each other). The remnants of Despair's conflict is an obvious one that you commonly see in post-game fics such as this one, and in Survivor, and my personal opinion, Hajime is undoubtedly the one who has it the hardest. However, out of all of the characters in the series who HAVE trauma (and let's be real, that's undoubtedly a LOT of characters in both DR canon, and this blog) he's also undoubtedly the one who handles it the best. However, there is a limit to how much pressure he can take, and that causes him to lash out (like he did with Mahiru during Misfortune's Revenge, which I know we don't like to talk about but its the most notable example). He's been through a whole load of shit and the pressure is constantly crushing him like a gigantic boulder, yet he still forces himself to carry it. Outside of my own writing, Hajime has so many conflicting thoughts and trauma in other fics, and in Survivor, I don't intend to flat out copy them, but I do desire to live up to them. The reason why Hajime has so many burdens placed upon him, and as of Misfortune's Revenge now has double as many, yet is still able to keep going strong, is because he's no longer allowing himself to be weighed down by events that are in the past and out of his control. What makes his ideal unique, is that he has power, almost limitless amounts of it, but instead of focusing on what he can do with it, he's more conflicted and focused on what he CAN'T do, and changing the past is one thing he can't, and as of such doesn't focus on it. He only ever focuses on the present, and the future, and worries about that. And you've got to hand it to the guy, while it's definitely been better, his life is actually super good right now. He has at least 15 really great friends/found family members, a home on an island resort, an AI companion in his phone who will always help him out and support him, a smoking-hot red-haired girlfriend, a pretty good job and a lot more. For him, it's not simply a matter of abiding by the Foundation and fixing the chaos that he indirectly caused. It's also about the fear of losing what he has, and wanting to protect it.

#02: Ayumu Fujimori.

I've said this one or two times before, but I think Ayumu turned out spectacular, and when I eventually had to kill him off, I felt really bad about doing so. The main reason why I removed him, and why I currently don't have any plans to bring him back, is due to my future plans, having him around would make little to no sense. He serves mainly as a catalyst for the new phase of the story, a much darker one, and with his death, we enter that phase. I know many people are worried about it, but it's not just Ayumu's reason for being in the story that makes him great. While it isn't obvious right away, the main character that I was trying to portray with him, is that he's basically the darker side of Hajime. The two of them share very similar traits in character, personality and backstory. Some notable points would be

Both of them are incredibly self-doubtful, and that self-doubt caused them to become Ultimate Hopes.

Both of them once held huge admiration for a powerful group of people. For Hajime it was Hope's Peak and for Ayumu it was the Japanese Government

Said power called them useless, which led to their transformation

Both have pretty sad backstories, which involve two different types of cruel parents and family's.

They both have a best friend who likes to sleep.

Said best friend ended up dying horribly right in front of them, with them both unable to do anything about it, which eventually leads them both to go insane and make some bad decisions.

Though their methods differ, ultimately, they both want the same thing: a brighter future for their friends and the people they love

Ayumu might be a threat, and an antagonist, but he doesn't really count as a "villain" per se. At the core, he's basically just a misguided young man, who the world treated like shit, so he just wants to get back at it. He's also an influential figure, pulling many people into his fight, and gaining many supporters outside of his friends in the UUV. For the short time he was on the blog, he was an absolute BLAST to write, and you can damn sure bet I'm going to miss him.

#01: Kuripa Kurafto.

This is undoubtedly the riskiest part of this list, especially since we're talking about an OC here, but I also think a lot of you guys saw this coming. I can understand why some of you might disagree with me on this placement, but I'll tell you now, if you're unimpressed, trust me, I am barely scratching the surface of Kuripa's character. As of such, I have to go on this based off of what's already known about him. His whole character I feel comes full circle at the end of the Ultra Despair Gang arc, in which the first monumental event in the blog actually happens: him killing Haiji Towa by stabbing him in the gut and sending him falling to his death. This is then followed by a speech to Makoto, Komaru, Toko and Byakuya, which basically lays out the key part of Kuripa's character, being his ideals. Every protagonist in Danganronpa goes by a certain ideal that contrasts that of their enemies. For Makoto, it's Hope, for Hajime, it's Future, and for Shuichi it's truth. Kuripa is the complete reverse, being a protagonist that represents Despair. He's not outright a villain, or even a generally bad guy, but he definitely has some apparent darkness to him, and is also incredibly violent when at the peak of rage. Of course, it all stems from a huge event in his life, the murder of his little sister Kotoko by the hands of Matta Gyalusetsu, which has led to his over-arcing conflict: his desire to find Matta and kill him as revenge. I tend to hate characters in stories who have the "My Sister is Dead" archetype or trope, but the main reason is because most characters who have that JUST have that, and for Kuripa that's something I'm trying to avoid. One of the most important parts of Kuripa's character is the contrast between his dark, almost psychopathic side that believes murder is a suitable way to indefinitely solve a problem, and his regular self, who to put simply, is a complete and total clown. He's like a walking meme, and makes a total fool out of himself, either through just being a mindless tomfool, a playful perv, or a loveable idiotic otaku. Still, his presence is indeed important to everyone around him, especially seen through his interactions with Makoto, Kibin, Mukuro, Uchui, Kokichi, The Kyojin's and the High Roller staff. This is another thing in regards to Kuripa's conflict that is quite saddening to. Similar to Hajime, as things currently stand, Kuripa has an excellent life. He's a successful animator who makes a lot of money from his work, he enjoys his time at the Future Foundation and really looks up to both Makoto and Mukuro who both treat him with a reciprocated amount of respect, he gets to work in tangent with his best friend, he has many pals, some of which are part of an anime club, and on top of it all, he has a cute girlfriend who playfully flirts back and forth with him all the time. He has everything a guy could possibly ever want, but due to his one track mind, he can never be satisfied knowing Kotoko's killer is still out there, and he will do whatever it takes to avenge her...even if he needs to cut a few people down to get it...

//Doing this kind of self-reflective character analysis is pretty refreshing and fun to be honest, although, doing it makes it sound like I have a big head, and am complementary of my own writing where I know many might disagree with my techniques and opinions. You're free to, believe me, but please keep any criticism constructive.

-Mod

#tenko chabashira #kokichi ouma #monaca towa #akira tsuchiya #mikan tsumiki #narumi osone #mukuro ikusaba #hajime hinata #ayumu fujimori #kuripa kurafto #self reflection

[evangelinedanvers]

A Happier Season Part I/?

part 2

Abby chewed on her lip as she looked across the kitchen table at her girlfriend. She’d done so so often that now her lips were chapped, dry and prone to bleeding. Despite her worry, she had kept silent. Whatever was bothering Harper, she would tell her in her own time. 

The silence was palpable. Things hadn’t been right since they had both moved to be closer to Harper’s family.  Abby could tell something was wrong. Harper was definitely keeping something from her. She lowered her head. She really didn’t want to ask, but they couldn’t carry on in the denial that everything was fine. She couldn’t keep lying to herself. Harper would never be ready without a little pushing. With a heavy sigh, she lifted her head so that she could look into her fiance’s eyes. “Harper, what’s wrong? You’ve been distant ever since we moved. When you do talk I just feel like you’re mad at me. I’ve gone over and over in my mind and I can’t think of anything I could have done.”

For a moment, Harper’s eyes widened, but she soon recovered a calmer expression. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.” Her quick, clipped response suggested otherwise.

“Oh. Okay.” Abby shrugged, although she wasn’t about to just let the matter slide. The lie was disappointing. Every problem they had in their relationship had stemmed from Harper being too afraid to be honest. Her spoon, which had been gripped tightly in her fingers, clattered against the table. Breakfast had suddenly become very unappetising.  “I mean, I thought we’d learned a lesson around pretending everything’s okay when it’s not.” She shrugged again before mumbling, “If you think that’s best though, whatever.”

Harper’s brow furrowed. Abby felt soft, searching, eyes imploring her to let it go. Harper grabbed the edge of the table as it became clear that Abby wasn’t budging. Her grip made the tension she was feeling apparent. She couldn’t quite meet Abby’s eyes as she rushed out the thing that had been bothering her. “I don’t like that you’re spending so much time with Riley.”

Abby laughed, although it was quiet and full of sarcasm. “Excuse me. What?”

“We moved so that I could spend more time with my parents and sisters. Not so that you could spend more time with Riley.”

“So, what, I’m not allowed to have friends?” Abby shook her head. She’d been able to forgive a lot; able to understand some of Harper’s choices. However, controlling behaviour was something she would never tolerate. “What do you want me to do when you’re busy writing?”

Harper rolled her eyes. “You’re allowed to have friends, Abby. You just don’t need to be friends with my ex.”

“Oh. Okay. Cool. I get it. I’ll just go make some guy friends. Oh,” Abby paused, a finger in the air, as though a thought was only just occurring to her. “No, wait. You probably still fucked them too.”

Harper was silent, her lips parted slightly. The words had hurt her. It wasn’t a fair thing for Abby to say, and she knew that.

“Sorry.” Abby stood, getting ready to walk away from the argument. She knew she’d gone too far and didn’t want to make things any worse. “That wasn’t..” Embarrassed, she awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is that,” for a moment Harper buried her face in her hands, looking embarrassed by what she was about to say. “Riley likes you, okay? I feel like a teenager again even caring about that. Which is why I hadn’t said anything.”

“What? No,” Abby shook her head as a blush crept onto her face. “You’re wrong. Besides, I’m not, it doesn’t go both ways. I love you.”

“So, we agree?”

“Oh, no. No, we do not agree. Riley is literally my only friend here. Everyone else still thinks I’m a common criminal. Plus you’re my girlfriend, not my mom.” 

“Abby, I...please?”

“If you can’t trust me,” Abby twisted her engagement ring from her finger and threw it down onto the table. “Maybe we shouldn’t be getting married.”

“Yeah,” Harper nodded, despite the tears that had begun to slowly trickle down her cheeks. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

“Hey,” Abby said softly. She’d never meant for that to happen. She’d never meant to make Harper cry. She was about to go to her, wipe her tears away with her thumb and tell her that she loved her and everything would be okay. She stopped herself, though. She couldn’t keep giving in every time Harper cried. “I’m going out.”

“Abby, wait. This is stupid. Please, just,” she picked up Abby’s ring and held it out to her. “At least put this back on. Please?”

“No. I’m done. I’m out.”

Riley hadn’t been expecting Abby to call her, but she certainly hadn’t been disappointed when her name flashed up on her screen. A few minutes later and she was sitting across from her in their usual haunt. Her eyes narrowed as she observed a tense Abby, who gripped her coffee mug so tightly that Riley was afraid it might shatter. Her red eyes also alerted Riley to the fact that Abby had been crying.

“I think this is probably a really stupid question,” Riley said as she dropped a cube of sugar into her black coffee and gave it a stir. She needed to do something with her hands. Anything to distract. Anything to stop her from grabbing Abby’s hands and telling her that whatever it was, it was okay. Whatever it was, she would fix it. No. She had to stay calm.  “Because the answer is very clearly no, but are you okay?”

Abby shook her head. “I think I just ended things with Harper,” she mumbled. 

“What?” Riley spluttered as she stopped stirring her coffee, although her fingers still gripped the spoon. “Why?” 

“Things have been off between us since we moved.” Abby shrugged. She looked tired. To Riley, she looked like someone who had simply given up. “Today I finally asked what’s going on and she insisted that I cut contact with you because apparently you like me. Which is obviously crazy.”

“Oh,” Riley nodded. “Yeah, totally. Totally crazy. Harper is just insane in the brain, alright.” She smiled, although it was really more of a grimace than a smile.

Abby nodded, then twisted her fingers together, something Riley had noticed she did a lot when anxious. “Do you forgive Harper?” Abby questioned, out of the blue. “For, you know, outing you to protect herself?”

Riley’s answer was immediate. “Yes. Absolutely. She was a teenager and she was scared. And, honestly? If it had been the other way around I don’t think I could say I wouldn’t have done the same. I’m gonna guess you don’t? For lying to you about her family, I mean.” “You wouldn’t have. I’m not sure whether I do or not. I thought I did.”

Riley chuckled. It was nice that Abby thought so much of her, but she had definitely grown a lot since her teenage years. Really, it was a shame that she found herself unable to say the same of Harper. “That’s nice that you think that, but you didn’t know me then.” She sighed. She was in a fight with herself, struggling to make sure that her words held no bias. “This is probably a super biased opinion, but how Harper treated you was wrong. She’s an adult now. To force you back into the closet without a word of warning was absolutely not okay. She had reasons, but reasons are not free passes to treat people you care about like crap. If you’re struggling to forgive her for that, it’s valid. You’re valid.”

“I thought I was over it,” Abby said slowly, obviously still processing how she felt, “but she still keeps things from me. I don’t think I can be with someone who won’t talk to me unless I force the point. That’s not how I roll.”

Riley nodded. Her expression was neutral, but then for a moment her brow furrowed, betraying the consternation that the conversation caused. “Abby, I don’t think I’m the best person for you to talk to about this.”

Abby didn’t speak, but raised her eyebrows, waiting for further explanation.

“Harper isn’t wrong.”

“Oh,” Abby said softly. “That complicates things”

“No, it doesn’t,” She blurted out, desperate not to lose Abby’s friendship.  “I can see how much you love Harper, I would never come between you two. I just can’t promise that any advice I give you isn’t tainted.”

“Oh, yeah. No, I get that. Fuck.” Abby rested her forehead in the palm of her hand.

“You good?”

Abby shook her head

“Do you need me to go?” “No. It’s just, you’re really the only friend I have here and, really, are you gonna wanna stick around to be just my friend?”

“Hey, hey.” she leaned across the table and grabbed Abby’s arm, gently pulling her hand away from her head, “Look at me. Yes, I am attracted to you. I am not, however, about to go home and start writing poetry about how heartbreaking it is to see you with another woman. Chill out.”

“Okay.” Abby chewed on her lip. “But what if I said it’s a mutual attraction. What if I said right now I want to, i don’t know, take you out to dinner right now. Wine, dine and sixty-nine.”

Riley had chosen an in opportune moment to take a sip of her coffee, and found herself choking on it a little as she heard Abby’s comment. “First of all, there will be no sixty-nining ever. Secondly, if that’s the best pick-up line you have, I don’t think we have anything to worry about. Thirdly, no.”

“No?” Riley was sure that she heard disappointment in Abby’s voice, but it didn’t matter. 

“I actually value our friendship. Tomorrow you’d wake up, realise how much you love Harper and hate me for ever allowing you to jeopardize what you have with her. You’re not thinking clearly right now and I’m not taking advantage of that.” It was tempting though. So tempting.

“I was only kidding.”

“No, you weren’t.” Riley shook her head. “You’re angry and you’re looking for ways to act out. I am not that desperate.”

Abby shook her head “Maybe you’re half right, but I wouldn’t ever just use you. I do, uh. I am attracted to you.”

“Yeah? Who isn’t?” Riley asked, followed by a smirk.

“Straight women?” “Wrong.” Again, the smirk.

Abby smiled for the first time during the whole conversation. Riley wasn’t too sure whether Abby believed her or not, but it was nice to have an air of mystery.

“Hey, Abby?”

“Yeah?”

“While the sixty-nine is a hard no, I’m not opposed to wine, dine and supine. If things with you and Harper really don’t work out.” She was smiling, but her face fell as she realised Abby wasn’t wearing her ring. It had been nice to pretend for a moment, to tease. However, the missing ring made everything feel very real. “Abby, where’s your ring?”

“I was mad. I took it off when we were fighting.” She shrugged. “It was stupid.”

“Please don’t throw everything away over something so stupid. Don’t fight over me. I’m really, really not worth it.” Riley grabbed up her bag and rose quickly “I, I have to go. But call me, okay? Let me know,” her voice broke, but she cleared her throat and regained her composure, “let me know how things go.”

Riley felt like she couldn’t catch a breath as she left the cafeteria, moving as fast as she could. Once outside, she leaned against the wall of the place, trying to ground herself, trying to slow down her breathing. She tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

 For so long she’s refused to allow herself to be vulnerable. The way in which Harper had forced her to come out had left her unable to ever really trust anyone to allow for anything more than a one night stand. She didn’t let people in; she didn’t let people have the chance to stab her in the back. With Abby, she had a strong sense that she was going to end up hurt and it wouldn’t even be Abby’s fault. A happy ending in any capacity wasn’t on the horizon. She knew that. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to just walk away. As stupid as it might be, she felt a need to see their friendship through to it’s bloody end.

#happiest season #happiest season fanfic #happiest season fanfiction #writing #abby x riley

[taehyung-rambles]

Who Was the Center in Each BTS Era? (Up to Permission to Dance)

As an opening statement, I’m gonna advise anyone reading this to look at my blog to see if I’ve done this with the B-sides yet because I plan to in the future, which should be a pretty interesting post.

So, this post is exactly what it sounds like. As if I haven’t gone through the BTS eras enough on this blog (and I will continue to do so), we’re going through them again because sometimes I just wanna binge all the BTS music videos. What we’re gonna do is look at a few different options for who ended up being the center--if their was one--for all the BTS eras. 

Those options will be: no center, center, co-centers, secondary center(s), and MV center(s).

Before anyone else says it: I know Jungkook is the center of BTS, but BTS have always been really flexible with their positions, and believe it or not, Jungkook isn’t the sole center most of the time. So, that’s why this post can even be a thing.

A couple things to bear in mind here: this is not based on line distribution. This will apply to the B-sides more than the singles, but there are times--even with BTS singles--where one member may not be the most represented within the song, but they were clearly chosen to center or co-center the song. Of course, more times than not, the center or centers are the most represented, but not always. There’s one high-profile one toward the end in which that is the case. Obviously, when I say “secondary centers,” that means that the member isn’t as prominent in the era as they would be if they were a co-center, as this would mean they and one or more of the other members are equally sharing the load.

This list also has zero to do with biases. I bias Taehyung like nobody’s business, but--and I’ll say it upfront now--he’s not been the center in very many instances (at least, not in the BTS singles; if you’d like to know about his time being the center in the B-sides, check that post out). Also, I’m considering almost all aspects of BTS’s eras when making these decisions. I’m thinking about the MV, I’m thinking about the choreo, I’m thinking about the vocal; the only thing I’d say I’m only considering sometimes is the marketing. I’m not going out to do a bunch of research on how BigHit advertised these songs to people for this post, so there won’t be a lot of talk about photoshoots or interviews or anything like that. That being said, I’ll probably talk about it when we get to Dynamite because the marketing for that was everywhere, and it’d be difficult not to know which member(s) they were pushing the most to sell that song.

Finally, as you can see by the above list, I’m going to be mentioning a MV center or centers--if it applies--for each MV. This is, obviously, something that can’t be done in the B-sides version of this post. The reason I’m adding it here is because there are quite a few examples of BTS MVs that really heavily feature a certain member when they aren’t that prominent in the vocal or the choreo. However, as the MV is also a part of marketing for the song, whichever member(s) were chosen to be the face of the MV have an important, central role to play. In fact, in many ways, the members that end up being MV centers without being a center in any other way often become one of, if not the, face of the era for a lot of fans. So, clearly, the MVs hold a lot of weight, and can sometimes overshadow the actual track for many people.

DISCLAIMER: Most of this is based on how I perceive the face(s) of these eras. Some of my conclusions are weird, and I can’t explain them, but it’s what I feel is true about these songs. Ergo, yes, there’s gonna be songs where two members have the same part, but only one feels like a center. Sue me. All the members have their different ways to shine, and that’s what makes BTS the best.

Center: Namjoon

Namjoon just feels like the center of No More Dream. If you’re listen closely to the vocal, he’s obviously a big foundation for the song to stand on since he’s got all these supporting parts. Those parts add up to make him the member--no questions asked--with the most airtime in No More Dream. That’s not really why I chose Namjoon for this position, though. No More Dream really felt like an introduction to BTS with Namjoon as the MC. I guess a better way of saying that is that Namjoon really came off as the leader of BTS in this era. So, I didn’t really have to think much about who I was giving this position to because it seems obvious.

Secondary Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

So, I feel like some people would say Jungkook’s the center of this era, and that’s fair. The reason he’s listed as a secondary center here is because he didn’t feel like he had much in-your-face presence; it was more like, if you were looking for Jungkook, you could find him within the song and the choreo easily. I don’t know if that makes sense. It’s not like the chorus is a background piece or Jungkook’s rap verse isn’t fire, but he just isn’t as prominent as Namjoon is.

Jimin is much less of a secondary center than Jungkook in the No More Dream era, but if you consider the choreo, Jimin is extremely prominent. It’s one of those situations--which happen more often than you might think--where a member doesn’t actually feel that present in the track itself, but if you are visually consuming it in any way at all, that same member sticks out the most. That’s how Jimin is here.

No MV Center

I thought hard about whether Jimin and Namjoon should be in this category because of the insert shots, voiceovers, and the choreo, but I think that has more to do with the entire package of the era than it does with the MV alone. The conclusion I came to was the MV doesn’t have a center. This section probably seems redundant, but it’ll make more sense once we get to an era that actually has an MV center or two.

Center: Jimin

This one’s probably pretty obvious to most people. I mean, this is a Jimin era. Usually, eras that are so heavily weighted to one member are Jungkook eras, so it’s interesting that the We Are Bulletproof Pt.2 era was such a Jimin era. I don’t know how to go into this further, but Jimin’s got the most parts--parts in the chorus, namely--so Jimin’s also the center in the choreo the most. I mean, I know this isn’t about taking the person who has the most airtime and giving them this position, but sometimes the eras do translate literally like that, and thus is this one.

Secondary Center: Namjoon

I was surprised, going through the MV, how much Namjoon appeared like a secondary center. I’m realizing that, for most of BTS’s early career, Namjoon was an important anchor for BTS’s music. That’s how it was in We Are Bulletproof Pt.2. It’s because all these parts that seem more like part of the beat than actual, singable parts go to Namjoon, so his presence runs underneath the entirety of the mix.

No MV Center

I know it seems dumb to talk about this when I say there isn’t a center in the MV, but this is kind of where I get to talk about the other members and how they fit into the era like, for instance, if any of them were close to being considered a center. Surprisingly, We Are Bulletproof Pt.2 is kind of the exact opposite; it didn’t seem like the MV really tried to enunciate any member specifically. Like, even in No More Dream, you could tell Namjoon was featured a lot, but this era didn’t do that. I found that interesting. I guess it’s probably because they were all just dancing on a chess board, but ya know.

Center: Jungkook

I couldn’t tell you why I don’t co-center Jimin with Jungkook, but Jungkook really feels like the face of this era. I don’t know if it’s the fact that he starts off the song--after Namjoon’s intro--or because he starts the choruses or what. I guess it might be because it’s a chorus that repeats during its two halves, so Jungkook’s voice is the one you’re going to pay attention to, since it comes first. Plus, this song was obviously produced to compliment his vocal tone because his voice is, not only layered under the other members’, but has more punch to it than the other vocalists’, as well. By that logic, clearly Jungkook was supposed to be the center for this era.

Secondary Centers: Namjoon & Jimin

So, as far as Namjoon goes, it’s the same thing I’ve said already: he’s working as the foundation for this song by filling in all the extra bits that support the track. Jimin, though, I wasn’t planning on adding--and I’m not really adding him because of the choruses. By the end of the N.O choreo, you’ve got Jimin in a central spot to finish off the performance as the instrumental closes out. As that part is so long and so clearly focused on Jimin, I couldn’t not put him down as a secondary center.

MV Center: Jungkook

Here we have our first MV center. Now, I will say there are stronger examples of an MV center, but Jungkook was obviously the main character in the school scenes of this MV. Of course, the school setting didn’t last the whole MV--and it’s not like the MV stopped and turned into a short film for a quick second like we’ll see later--but Jungkook still stuck out.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

So, I really struggled trying to pick out which members were the most prominent in this song, but we’ll talk about why with the next member. Jungkook and Jimin are the centers of this era for basically the same reasons. Both of them are on the chorus, and--more importantly--both of them stick out in the chorus. Both of them have these opportunities to be charismatic that they use really well, and both of them are out front during the choreo most of the time. It all adds up to them giving off “center energy.”

Secondary Center: Taehyung

I really thought Taehyung would be a co-center, as well, but he disappears halfway through the song. To be clear here: if we’re talking about the parts that Taehyung had in this song, and if those parts had ranged the entire song, Taehyung would be the sole center of this era. Like, watch any performance of this song, let alone the MV and dance practices, and tell me he doesn’t give off center energy. Anyway, after his parts are over, Taehyung falls to back of the dance formation and effectively vanishes--which is a real shame because he makes this era for me. Enough of my biased rambling--long story short, the first half of Boy in Luv has Taehyung as a center, and the last half doesn’t. A secondary center is the option that meets in the middle.

MV Centers: Jin & Yoongi

Straight off the bat, because of the scene during the bridge, Jimin and Jungkook are also kind of MV centers, but I’m not looking for “kind of’s” here. Jin and Yoongi were the ones who had the flirty scenes with the actress in the MV, so they stuck out a whole lot. It created a bit of a story around each of them and their characters in the MV, and the other members didn’t really have that.

Center: Jungkook

Who was jumping out their skin being surprised by this one, am I right? I mean, if we even talk about the choreography alone, this would be super obvious. When I first started learning about idol groups, this song is what I thought a “center” meant. This is obviously no shade to Jungkook himself because the members probably didn’t really have a hand in who was getting the most airtime or how much airtime that would be in comparison to everyone else, but BigHit really wanted to push Jungkook for this song. 

I guess it was probably because he’s the youngest, he has a clear and soothing voice, and he’s the exact type of boyfriend material that’s easy to sell to young fans. I know this song has deep meaning that came from Yoongi, but the way this song was presented was so fluffy and soft, and my guess is that Jungkook fit the bill to be the face of it.

No MV Center

I mean, yeah, Jungkook stuck out the most, but that was because of the choreo, which is already covered by the center position. As far as the MV itself, no member stuck out more than another beyond the choreography. Jin, of course, does have his moment with the rose, but a.) that’s a part of the choreo, b.) it wasn’t long enough for him to be considered an MV center anyway, and c.) that piece of choreo can’t even make him a secondary center because the vocal line distribution was so heavily tipped in Jungkook’s favor--again, not throwing shade at Jungkook; just stating how the song is divided up. The long and short of it is that, while the choreo had central-ish parts for Jin and definite central parts for Jungkook, the MV didn’t do anything more with them than with the other members. No MV center this time.

Co-Centers: Jimin, Taehyung, & Jungkook

Just to give myself a backdoor here in case I change my mind on this later, I’m gonna say that I was sure the 95s would be secondary centers here, but after watching the MV and really paying attention to the choreo and line distributions, I think all three members of the maknae line stood out equally during their parts. Actually, the 95s do have a stronger vocal presence than Jungkook does, but Jungkook owns the choreography, so it more or less balances out.

I will say that Taehyung doesn’t feel as prominent as Jungkook does on the chorus, so that’s what made me want to put him down as a secondary center. However, the post-chorus is absolutely enough to make Taehyung stick out like Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin--dare I say--is the most center-like out of all three of them as far as general feeling goes. Again, considering everything, they’re all equal, but Jimin really reads like a center in Danger.

MV Center: Taehyung

All the members have got their individual scenes in the MV that are used for the inserts, but Taehyung’s scenes were clearly supposed to be the central ones since they, you know, ended the MV with him cutting his hair off. Even besides that, though, Taehyung’s parts in Danger came along with the best camera work and set design. I mean, there’s a better way of saying that, but I don’t know what it is. Like, go the MV and look at the first post-chorus so you can see how they framed Taehyung during that part. That really made him feel like the central member in the MV.

Center: Taehyung

This is one of two (or few, depending on when you’re reading this because new music is always coming out) eras in which I can 100% say for certain that Taehyung is the sole center. If we’re talking B-sides, that number might increase a bit, but as far as singles go, Taehyung really does not get the opportunity to be the sole center that often. Anyway, explaining this would be like explaining the obvious. The brief for this era was “impish bad boys that look like they’re thirsty as fuck.” And Taehyung fit the brief.

No, but seriously, BigHit clearly wanted to sell War of Hormone as a song by a bunch of punk kids that have just a little bit too much fun, and if 2014 Kim Taehyung wasn’t a little punk, I don’t know who would be. Not because Taehyung’s actually a womanizing asshole--Taehyung’s clearly the softest and kindest person ever to exist--but because he can tap into that sensual and mischievous type of character really easily. He’s an actor after all. Plus, there’s the whole “sexy growling thing” they obviously wanted in the vocal, and Taehyung’s the go-to member for that.

Secondary Center: Jungkook

Here’s why Jungkook is the War of Hormone era’s secondary center: they needed a cute member to calm the whole thing down. I’m now going to put myself in the mind of BigHit as they were producing this track.

“We can’t have Taehyung out here killing everyone with his growls and his expressions and that tongue thing he does. We’ve clearly gotta put a soft bad boy character in there so this song doesn’t entirely decimate our fanbase. Put Jungkook in.”

In the same way Taehyung fit the super-duper bad boy brief, Jungkook fit the cutie pie bad boy brief, and that was needed to balance out Taehyung’s parts in this era. All vague descriptions aside, Jungkook was used as a support for Taehyung in the War of Hormone era, or that’s what it felt like, at least--despite Jungkook having more airtime. If, in any universe, Taehyung ever went easy on us, this era could’ve been a co-center era for the two babies of BTS. However, Taehyung chose violence, so Jungkook didn’t get a chance to pop out as much. Considering their overall discography, though, I’d say that’s fair enough.

MV Center: Taehyung

I’m mostly saying this because of the end of the MV where the actress--or her character--picks him, but also, Taehyung’s stage presence in this song kind of makes him the MV center anyway. Not the choreo--even though he’s the center of that for a lot of the time, too. I’m talking about his attitude, his expressions, his gestures, and on and on. That kind of made him the central figure, for me. Plus, you know, Taehyung got the girl or whatever.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

This song is so freakin’ weird because Jungkook has exorbitantly more airtime in the studio version of I Need U, but Jimin features really heavily in the choreo because they give him most of Jungkook’s final chorus when they do it live--which obviously means that Jimin centers in the choreo the most. So, it’s like: listen to the song, and Jungkook’s the center, but watch it live or in the dance practice video, and it’s Jimin. Either way, both of them read like centers to me. Even though Jungkook is in the song a lot, and therefore, has a big presence, Jimin’s vocal is the one I associate with this song because it fits so well while sticking out just a skosh.

MV Center: Taehyung

Most of me was thinking that there wouldn’t be an MV center for this era because every member had a story that ends up getting carried into the Wings album era, but then I remembered that the original MV for I Need U literally stopped everything dead so Taehyung could hit his in-verse father in the head with a bottle. And then, after that and a couple seconds of showing a few of the other members, the MV cuts back and forth between hardcore violence and Taehyung laughing with the other members. 

The MV goes, “Wow, look at this. Taehyung’s so happy. Oop, now he’s stabbing his father with a broken bottle--oh, he’s happy again, that’s nic--oh. Oh, no he’s back to stabbing his father--no, look, he’s happy, so... Damn, that’s a lot of blood.” I mean. I don’t know if they knew already that Taehyung was good actor or what, but BigHit nearly gave him a short film all to himself. So, yeah, I’d say Taehyung takes the center position for the I Need U MV.

Center: Jungkook

I’m kind of naming Jungkook here because I feel like I have to, but I want you to know that the For You era is really close to not having a center, in my opinion. It’s more so the parts they gave Jungkook that made me put him down as a center. He starts the song, he ends the song, he’s got the first chorus, and there are parts where you go, “Oh, they’ll probably let that member sing here,” and then you get to the next line, and you’re like, “Ah, no; they went with Jungkook.” That’s not a bad thing, mind you, because Jungkook’s vocal is perfect for this song; it’s just that Jungkook had more airtime than the other members by a good bit. Again, I’m not making this list according to that, but it’s gonna be a factor in a song where every member sings on the choruses.

MV Center: Jungkook

Do I need to go into this a whole lot? Jungkook’s trying to get money to see this girl he likes, so the whole MV is about how the other BTS members are struggling alongside Jungkook but put together the means for him to go see the mystery girl. That’s the K-drama, and Jungkook is the lead. I mean, fair enough; Jungkook could definitely be the lead in a K-drama.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

I know this is a hardcore Jungkook era, but Jimin sticks out, like, a lot. At the very least, you’ve got to credit the choreo to Jimin in the same way you would for Jungkook. I mean, yeah, Jungkook’s vocal pierces the entire song, so he’s obviously going to center for this era. He’s a forefront figure in the choreography, as well, and putting him in that costume for the MV is essentially assault. However, I think Jimin managed to make his presence just as big through the choreo and his unique vocal tone. So, I’ve got to give the Dope era’s center position to both of them.

No MV Center

Since this MV is basically just the choreography, I can’t say Jimin and Jungkook were centers just because they were the choreography leaders for Dope. Actually, I thought the overall MV was almost equally representative of each member since they all had a different concept with their wardrobes.

Center: Jungkook

I mean, Jungkook just permeates every single cell of RUN. The choreo, the vocal, and nearly everything else are extremely centered around him. There’s not really a whole lot else to say. When there’s such a large difference between line distribution for the members, it makes it obvious that that member will be in the center of the choreo most of the time, as well. That’s the case for Jungkook in the RUN era.

Secondary Center: Jimin

This era is a little bit like the I Need U era, but Jimin doesn’t stick out quite as much. He does stick out enough to be considered a secondary center, though, because he’s also highly represented in the vocal, so he’s got mirroring parts in the choreo. Jimin doesn’t have as much of a focus in this era as Jungkook does, but it’s close.

No MV Center

I thought this would be like the I Need U MV, but it really wasn’t. You’d think Jungkook’s the center because of the bit where the camera zooms in on him while everyone is partying, and then the rest of them are gone, but there’s also several bits where Jin has close-ups while he spaces out. Or maybe Jungkook could’ve been the center because, after the music stopped, he looked back at the camera. But that can’t be it either because Taehyung had bits like that of him falling into and coming out of the water at the beginning and end of the video. Maybe it was Jimin because he got pulled into the room toward the end of the MV, but it was Namjoon who was pulled in at the beginning. Basically, they were all well represented, so there’s no center to speak of.

No Center

This song isn’t really supposed to have a center, is it? I mean, we can talk about who had the most airtime, but that’s not what this is about. I think this song was supposed to be a message from all the members, so one member wasn’t going to stick out more than others. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

MV Center: Taehyung

Taehyung being the MV center is stretch, and I know that, but he does have bit of a role that makes him stick out at the end. It’s kind of like Jungkook being the center in the For You era--it doesn’t feel totally accurate to give it to him, but it also feels inaccurate to not give it to him. There’s that little bit at the end of the MV where Taehyung steps out of the maze at last and the other guys are waiting for him on the other side. Taehyung’s also the one to look back at the plane or camera or whatever at the very end; basically, Taehyung gets more solo shots in this MV than any other member, as far as I can tell without actually counting, so he takes the center position.

Center: Taehyung

I wasn’t actually planning for Taehyung being the sole center for this era, but I feel like I can’t really justify anyone else co-centering with him. Taehyung does feature fairly heavily in the choreography, but a lot of the reason he ended up the solo center for the FIRE era is because of the part he was given. As someone who had heard “bow wow wow” everywhere before even knowing what K-pop was, I’d say it’s safe to call Taehyung’s part the most globally iconic--though Yoongi’s part is obviously the most iconic within ARMY. Plus, the end of FIRE is almost a full minute of just Taehyung’s solo with group vocals around it, so. I mean, he’s got hella presence in this era, no doubt.

Secondary Centers: Yoongi & Jungkook

Initially, I thought Jungkook was going to co-center with Taehyung because Jungkook is extremely centered within the choreography, but the “eh eh oh eh oh” part feels more like a supporting piece--which is absolutely fine, by the way. However, Jungkook is pretty damn close to being a center for the FIRE era because his vocal is absolutely everywhere, and he’s the center for most of the choreo. As an aside, I kinda wanted to add Jimin in this category because of the 333, but ultimately, that wasn’t enough to support him being a secondary center, for me.

Yoongi, I’ll be honest, I’m kind of putting in here because he feels like a center for the era after all the attention his opening line got. If I’m looking at the choreo or even the vocal, Yoongi doesn’t stand out as much as it seems (though his verse in FIRE is one of the best rap verses in BTS’s discography; fight me about it), but the fact that he opens and closes the song has a large overall impact on my perception of the FIRE era. Yoongi is definitely one of the faces of FIRE, at the very least.

MV Centers: Jin & Yoongi

So, though Yoongi wasn’t the main center for this era, in my opinion, the MV does make it seem like he is. Which, I guess, is mostly because of the opening scene before the music actually starts. But whatever; Yoongi still sticks out regardless. For Jin, I don’t know if it was because he doesn’t have that much airtime or what, but the scenes in the MV that focused on Jin were really focused on Jin. No other member got that kind of solo within the MV, so Jin’s parts seemed like they were meant to be special.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

I don’t know how to explain why this is how it is, but this is how it is. It’s one of those eras where the amount of airtime does predict the centers because of how much more airtime Jimin and Jungkook have compared to the other members. I mean, that’s what a main and lead vocalist are for, I suppose, but it ends up with these two being pushed so far forward in the Save ME era that you can’t really make room for another co-center. They’re also the two with the most central pieces in the choreography, but that’s obvious with how much airtime they have. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, either, because BTS’s discography celebrates all the members at one point or another. It’s just that Save ME was a song that suited Jikook the best, so they’re the obvious centers.

No MV Center

Since this is an MV that’s literally just choreography, there’s obviously not going to be an MV center. I mean, if you wanna say that Jimin and Jungkook’s parts meant they had more close-ups, and so they’re the MV centers, then fine, but that’s a bit of a cop out.

Center: Jimin

This is one of the few--maybe even less than that--clear Jimin eras where Jimin is the only center. It’s not really that he has so much more airtime than the other members, but Blood Sweat & Tears is a song that just fits Jimin. He actually doesn’t have much central time in the choreo until the end and at the beginning, but it’s another one of those feelings I’ve got. I’m not saying this to alienate the other members because I actually do have my own opinions on who owned this era (check that post out on my blog, by the way), but this song makes Jimin shine the brightest. Every member has a song that does that for them, and this is Jimin’s. 

Secondary Centers: Hoseok & Jungkook

Are you screaming at me for not considering Hobi a co-center? In the studio version of Blood Sweat & Tears, I’d probably put Hobi in as a co-center, but considering everything from the track to the choreo to the live performance, Hobi’s presence is just a touch smaller than Jimin’s. Just a touch. Like, they split his post-chorus with Jungkook live, and Hobi isn’t really a center in the choreo after a certain point, so it’s a bit like Taehyung in Boy in Luv.

As far as Jungkook goes, he’s not really a strong secondary center for this era, but he’s enough of one that he has to make this list. Part of it is because of his additional parts in the live performance and the choreo, but it also feels like Jungkook was meant to act as a visual and performative support for Jimin. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it does it me.

MV Centers: Jin & Taehyung

I was gonna put Jimin here, too, but he only got that one shot at the beginning where Yoongi covered up his eyes that felt like it was really Jimin-focused. Taejin, though, had their own little mythology film going on. The Blood Sweat & Tears MV is the prime example of “this member doesn’t actually have much going on in the song, but the MV is all them, baby.” That’s how it is for Jin in this era. A lot of people say Jin is one of the ones who owned this era, and a lot of that has to do with the MV, what with the statue-kissing and all.

Tell me why I don’t feel like Taehyung was as big of an MV center as Jin even though Taehyung had a shirtless scene with slits on his back where his wings apparently used to be. I don’t understand, either. But I’d say a shirtless scene with wing slits is a pretty good reason to be included as an MV center.

Co-Centers: Jin, Taehyung, & Jungkook

After consulting the choreo because, you know, the MV doesn’t have it, I came to the conclusion that, both vocally and choreographically, these three are the centers for this era. Spring Day was initially an era that I thought didn’t have a center, and I don’t think it does have a super defined center, but I do see Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook as the more prominent members. For one, the choreo really clearly centers around Taekook more than the other members, but there’s also the fact that all three of these members really stick out in the vocal itself. I landed on these three for my co-centers, but Spring Day is really close to not having a center at all.

No MV Center

I thought this was going to go to Jin because I thought I remembered him featuring in the MV a lot more, but he didn’t really. Actually, I’d say Taehyung and Jungkook are closer to being MV centers since the beginning has a little scene with Taehyung before the music starts, and there’s a bit around the bridge in which Jungkook has some solo-ish focus, but those things still aren’t quite enough for this position. All the members had their own inserts and settings, so it felt fairly equal all around.

Center: Jungkook

This was another era I was sure didn’t have a center, but Jungkook’s extremely prominent. Actually, I thought, if anything, the rap line would center in this era, but even they don’t seem nearly as prominent as Jungkook. It’s just that the lyrics are really repetitive for the vocalists, and Jungkook bleeds through all the vocal line parts. At least, it really feels like he does. As far as the vocalists go for this era, Taehyung’s vocal is the only one that sticks out, aside from Jungkook’s. But Jungkook’s vocal sticks out above all the other members--in terms of prevalence, mind you; the best parts of this song are obviously the rap verses. As such, he’s really active in the choreography, as well. It felt like I, more or less, had to give Jungkook this era.

Secondary Center: Taehyung

I can’t tell you why I’m putting Taehyung down. I was about to move on from this section, and my brain said, “Think about the chorus,” and so, I ended up here. This is all about that feeling I’ve talked about already. I think it’s because Taehyung’s the one that starts the chorus, and he’s got really powerful choreography to go along with his already powerful vocal. It makes his presence in the track and the live performance feel a lot bigger.

No MV Center

I mean, yeah. It’s a choreography-driven MV. When you’ve got the bits with them running or whatever, Jungkook centers a bit, and Namjoon kind of feels like an MV center, too, but a lot of that has to do with the choreography being shot the way it was. It’s the same with Taehyung since he got some great framing during his choreo parts. But prominent choreo parts do not an MV center make.

Center: Jungkook

I mean, there’s not really any way to get away from this one. I don’t blame BigHit, though, because Jungkook’s clean vocal is literally made for bright pop songs like this one. It makes sense that they’d want to use a vocal that blends in with the instrumental so well. As we know, the vocal affects the choreo, so Jungkook felt like a strong foundation to this song that the other members built upon. I don’t think many would argue that Jungkook is the sole center for the DNA era.

No MV Center

Can you believe I’m not putting down Taehyung, Hobi, and Jimin as a type of center, even though most people think this was Taehyung’s era, Hobi’s best work, and even though Jimin is the only other member on the chorus? Somehow, even though they all feel prominent in my memory of this era, diving back into it revealed that Taehyung is only prominent in the intro, Hobi is only prominent at the end, and Jimin is only prominent on the first chorus. How weird, right? They’re all almost secondary centers, though.

Anyway, that had nothing to do with the MV center, did it? There isn’t a true MV center because this MV is mostly the choreo. However, Jungkook is the closest one to being the center, simply because he’s got that little whistle bit at the beginning. Obviously, one scene isn’t enough to list him here, though.

Co-Centers: Yoongi & Hoseok

Don’t ask me why I didn’t put down Namjoon, too. I wish I could say something other than “because this is what felt right,” but that’s the situation. I’m sure most people would say Hobi is the sole center of this era, and that’s entirely fair, but I felt like Yoongi brought his presence to MIC Drop just as much as Hobi did. The two of them, more or less, have the same amount of time in the center for the choreography, as well. Again, I wish we could be talking about Namjoon, too, but despite him having the most airtime in this era, he didn’t feel quite as front-and-center as Hobi and Yoongi. His verse is still fire, though.

Secondary Centers: Taehyung & Jungkook

Should I be doing this because I feel like it’s true? I guess we’ll find out. I don’t know; it seems pretty clear to me that JK and Taehyung were meant to be secondary centers for this era since they got the most central parts in the vocal line the most often. I feel like this is partially influenced by the fact that both of them murder the choreo when they’re in the center for MIC Drop, but I really do feel like these two stuck out.

No MV Center

Let me tell you, though, if we were bringing choreography into this discussion, Taehyung in the MV would make this list easily. He’s so aggressive in the MV, you know? No, but, this is another choreo-based MV. You know the drill by now.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

This one’s another obvious one for most people, I would imagine. Actually, at first glance, this looks like it’d be Jungkook’s era as a center, but Jimin has a lot of prominence, as well. The best way to describe it is that Jimin was the strong support he’s meant to be for Jungkook considering their positions as main and lead vocalists, as well as lead dancers. However, because of the refrain, Jimin then ends up also feeling like less of a support and more of a center in his own right. Basically, there was a lot of good give and take between Jimin and Jungkook for the FAKE LOVE era, which is why I ended up seeing both of them as co-centers.

Secondary Center: Jin

I’ll be honest--I don’t really get the feel of a secondary center from Jin in this era, but I can tell that that’s what he was meant to be. He’s very present in the vocal, and that translates to him being present in the choreography, as well--which ends with him in the center, if you recall. I don’t think this era is quite the era for Jin as a center, but he does still feature really prominently, regardless of how my perceptions may be situated.

MV Centers: Jin, Jimin, & Jungkook

This is another instance where I thought Jin was going to seem like a stronger MV center than he was, but it’s really the visuals of him toward the beginning-what with the windows shattering and all--that stick with you. I still think the theater of Jin’s scenes are enough to consider him an MV center. For Jimin, his piece wasn’t as stand out, but you can tell Jimin had extra focus on him when compared with Taehyung or the rap line. In the scenes between the last pre-chorus and the last chorus, Jimin did have a scene where most others didn’t, so he felt like enough of an MV center to include here.

Jungkook is probably obvious. He had a fairly long scene in between the last pre-chorus and chorus, so there’s that, but the overall MV seems to have more images of him than the other members. I imagine Jungkook was probably the main character for this story, though all the members had really cool set pieces and insert shots.

No Center

I really was gonna sit here and be like, “Oh, yeah! Namjoon’s obviously the center!” But, listen, everyone’s parts in IDOL stick out so much that I don’t think it’s fair to say that Namjoon was the sole center. In fact, I’d say Jimin is actually the closest thing to being a sole center in this era, but it’s really only vocally because, as far as the choreography goes, he feels just as well represented as the other members. Ergo, this era is too chaotic for any one member to take the spotlight. Namjoon is the face of IDOL, though. And, vocally, Jimin’s pretty damn close.

No MV Center

I mean, the chaos was too much. Yes, Jimin has special focus on the bridge and during the final dance break on the chorus, but again, that’s just one piece of the whole. At the beginning, you’ve got a lot of shots of Taehyung, and then you’ve got the rap line having multiple focuses since they have two verses each. Jin and Jungkook got some cool focus during their parts, too, so an MV center isn’t really possible to find.

No Center

Jimin sticks out the most in this song, don’t get me wrong, but that’s mostly because his vocal on the chorus sounds so special. It doesn’t exactly work out to be even in a literal sense, but the vocal line at least seem like they have equal airtime in this era since they all get to sing on the chorus. That meant that a true center wasn’t going to be a thing, especially since it’s almost one of those songs where every member has their piece and then they disappear for the rest of the song.

No MV Center

I mean, should I call Taehyung the MV center because of the beginning and end? I don’t think so, since it was only a few seconds each time, and the rest of the MV was choreography. I mean, Taehyung did kind of feel like the face of the MV because of that, but I don’t know that it’s enough of a reason to put him down here. He’s the only option for an MV center, anyway. Maybe I’ll feel the need to change this later. We’ll see.

Center: Jimin

I’m still convinced that this was supposed to be an era dominated by Jimin. We’ll talk about Taehyung in a second, but when I first watched the Boy With Luv MV, I thought that Jimin was the clear center. I still do, even though my opinions on who owned the era are a bit different. Jimin is pronounced in the choreography, but his vocal is exactly the right color for a song that’s this bubbly. The choreo obvious matters a lot, but I think Jimin’s voice, more than anything else, is the face of this era. I know that sounds weird because of what I just said about Airplane pt.2, but that era was more like, “Wow, Jimin sounds so unique,” and the Boy With Luv era is like, “Jimin is the song.” So.

Secondary Centers: Taehyung & Jungkook

Jungkook does not feel like a secondary center to me because I find that he gets lost a bit in the Boy With Luv era, but like in the FAKE LOVE era with Jin, I know that Jungkook was meant to be Jimin’s support for this song. Jungkook feels nearly as pronounced in the choreography as Jimin does, and his clear vocal serves to fill in when necessary for this pop track, which is one thing Jungkook’s vocal color does best.

Taehyung, though, for all intents and purposes, shouldn’t really be a secondary center since his standout parts are the opening to the choreo and the parts on the chorus he shares with Jin. However, I don’t think you can find me any ARMY that genuinely deny that Taehyung isn’t, at least, one face of this era. Most people I’ve seen discuss the Boy With Luv era ardently agree that Taehyung owns the era, no questions asked. Whether it makes sense within the standards we’ve laid out for centers so far or not, Taehyung, his vocal, and his visual absolutely dominate this era. In terms of being the face of an era, Taehyung may come out on top as the sole center, but for the purposes of keeping this list objective, a secondary center he shall be.

No MV Center

Again, like, this is another situation in which Taehyung would be brought up if we were talking about the choreography; so would Jimin. Their visuals are so heavily tied to this MV, but it’s all attached to the choreography. Outside of that, no member had more solo focus than another.

Co-Centers: Jimin, Taehyung & Jungkook

I know some of you will be upset that Jin isn’t in this list, and I understand. Initially, Jimin wasn’t going to be in this list, either, but his vocal felt like it fit the tone of this song the best. Actually, here’s how I came to this conclusion: Lights was made for Jimin’s vocal tone, but Jungkook and Taehyung clearly stick out the most. As such, Jimin doesn’t necessarily have less prominence than the babies of BTS, but the babies of BTS were strong in this era. Jimin still deserves to be a co-center because of how well his vocal fits this song, but Taehyung and Jungkook were fucking power vocalists in the Lights era, so they’ve got to be centers, as well.

MV Center: Jungkook

This MV feels a bit like the Magic Shop VCR; it’s a lot like Jungkook is frozen or lost, and the other members find him. It’s not so pronounced like it has been for other MV centers, but it was still clear to me that Jungkook was the main character for this MV.

Co-Centers: Jimin & Taehyung

I mean, this would be an obvious choice if you really listened to Make It Right. When we don’t have choreo for a song, we’ve got to look at the vocal, right? The 95s are all over this track. Admittedly, the live does take just a touch of that away from them during certain performances, but the studio version of Make It Right is littered with Vmin. First of all, their solos are pretty pronounced anyway, but even if you listen to the crowd vocal on the “Oh, I can make it right” lyric, you usually only hear Taehyung plus the rest of the members singing in a clump underneath him. And if it isn’t Taehyung you’re hearing on the main vocal, it’s Jimin. Or Jimin and Taehyung. Like, I don’t know if it’s because these two have the most unique vocal tones in BTS or what, but their individuality really shone in the Make It Right era.

No MV Center

Unless the MV center is ARMY? I don’t know; Make It Right is one of those stage mix MVs, so it wasn’t gonna have a real MV center anyway. Unless the MV center is that animated couple that’s in the original version of the music video? Nah, I like the the idea of ARMY being the center more.

Center: Jungkook

I don’t need to go to the MV for this because Jungkook’s got hella pipes that’s he’s using for a hella long time during the bridge of this song, and that’s so much center energy. It’s been a long time since we’ve had an era that feels like all the other members are about equal, and then there’s Jungkook. It is what it is, though; I mean, the man is the center of BTS, after all. If I’m being really honest, though, the bridge is the only thing that makes Jungkook the sole center of this era. If Jungkook’s solo on the bridge wasn’t a part that caused the rest of the song and choreo to stop dead, the ON era probably wouldn’t have had a center at all because I don’t feel like Jungkook was all the pronounced anywhere else in ON. I guess me putting him down as the sole center tells you how impactful the bridge was, though.

Secondary Center: Jimin

It’s the “hey na na na” line, you know? No, but really, both in the choreo and the vocal, Jimin is a big foundation for ON. I mean, obviously Jimin has parts besides that line, but even as a whole, Jimin feels like a part of the basic structure for, both the track, and the choreography. I’ve felt this way about other members in previous eras, and I don’t know how to explain it well; think of it as though Jimin is a part of the beat. It’s essential to ON’s sound, even though it may not always stick out as an individual piece.

MV Center: Jungkook

Jin did have a bit of focus at the beginning, and I almost put Taehyung down as an MV center because there was a good bit in the middle where it was literally just Taehyung, but the entire story of the MV revolved around Jungkook, like, escaping slavery or whatever. I mean, the man blew into a conch shell and ran up to the top of BTS’s Pride Rock; if that’s not MV center energy, I don’t know what is.

No Center

I’m gonna keep it a buck with y’all: the vocalists nearly all sound the same on the chorus of this song because of the effects on their vocals. It’s kind of cool, though, considering the message of the song. Like, the lack of individuality is almost an extra piece to the lyrics, but I swear to you, Taehyung is the only one who sounds distinct on the chorus of Black Swan. As such, no one could’ve really been the center for this song. As you can probably tell, the vocalists are usually the centers--if there is one--and that’s because they get the choruses, which repeat the most; they have more opportunities to be the centers. In an era where their uniqueness is stripped away, there’s not going to be a center.

Also, if you’re asking, “Well, if Taehyung is so distinct, why isn’t he the center?” the answer is: because all the vocalists have basically the same parts. Yoongi, actually, would be the closest, in my opinion, to being a type of center for this song, but the chorus is the base of Black Swan, and so Yoongi doesn’t quite fit, either. Nothing wrong with an era without a center, my friends. Just means more central time for every single one of our boys.

MV Center: Jimin

Clearly, this was going to be the case. I don’t actually find Jimin to be that prominent in Black Swan, but the MV is what makes everyone say Jimin is the face of this era. And there’s a good reason for that. The Black Swan MV is such a wonderful platform for Jimin’s gorgeous, gorgeous artwork. It was like a portfolio of his talent, and it’s absolutely captivating watching him dance. Of course, Jimin does have a small bit of centralization that the other members don’t have in the stage choreo, but the MV is where Jimin got to really shine. Black Swan is really the only era where, rather than a song fitting a members vocal, we got to partake in a song that complimented a member’s dance style. I hope BTS do more with this kind of combination later for other members because Jimin getting to shine like this was really lovely.

Center: Jungkook

There’s really no other reason for this other than Jungkook’s vocal is very nearly the entire song as far as vocals go. Again, sometimes airtime predicts the center, and in this case, Jungkook has, like, double the amount of airtime when compared to the other members. So, obviously, Jungkook representing this era was the overall goal. Stay Gold is another one of those songs that benefits from a vocal tone like Jungkook’s, so that’s probably why Jungkook got such a large focus for this era.

No MV Center

Taehyung’s the closest thing to an MV center since he’s got that bit at the end where the camera focuses on him while he releases magic from the tree or whatever. So pretty he looks in the Stay Gold MV, by the way. If you’re watching all the way to the end, it does feel like, “Wow, Taehyung’s a bit of a main character,” but it’s really only at the end. So, no MV center this time as everyone had really beautiful set pieces that got shown fairly equally.

Center: Taehyung

Call me biased; call me whatever you want, but Taehyung’s presence is so fucking strong in Dynamite. Yes, Jungkook has a lot, a lot of vocal focus; yes, he centers in the choreography the most, but have y’all seen Taehyung’s attitude? Dynamite is the second era on this list that I’m sure Taehyung is the sole center for. Here’s where we’re gonna talk about marketing a bit. Taehyung’s visual was used to absolute death for the Dynamite promotions. I’m assuming it was because the retro look was especially fitted to Taehyung’s style, but Taehyung was everywhere. Not to mention the parts in Dynamite Taehyung got were really important pieces of the song--such as: ending the song. The choreography, as well, though not centered around Taehyung, was absolutely dominated by him regardless because of the way he decided to carry himself in this era. I don’t know; maybe I’m seeing things other people aren’t, but to me, Taehyung was obviously supposed to be the face of Dynamite.

Secondary Centers: Jimin & Jungkook

I don’t think Jimin is as strong of a secondary center as Jungkook, but I do still think Jimin’s role in Dynamite was really important. It’s sort of because he was a foundational piece, but it’s also because Jimin came off as bubbly and fun during the Dynamite era, and I think that helped to sell the overall visual of the song.

Jungkook, I’m sure a lot of people will say, should be the center for this era. I feel like I can kind of tell that an attempt was made to have Jungkook be the center, but then Taehyung and his charisma kind of ended up blowing up once Dynamite was released. Jungkook, to me, has the true foundational pieces of Dynamite. The beginning of the choruses, for example, are the catchy parts of the chorus, but not the punchy parts of the chorus. You see what I mean? Jungkook did have the first verse, too, of course. I’ll say this: vocally, Jungkook is absolutely the center of this era. It’s just that, as a total package, he didn’t stick out quite as much as Taehyung.

No MV Center

I mean, the beginning makes it feel like Jungkook is the MV center, but every member has their own set and solo shots. Plus, you’ve got the improvised choreography and the insert shots where every member appears to be equally represented. I don’t really see Dynamite as an MV with a definite member at the forefront.

No Center

So, there is a definite excess of Vmin in Life Goes On, which I think is beautiful because their vocal tones are full of emotion, but I don’t think that necessarily means they’re the centers of this era. If we were going based on airtime, Taehyung would be the sole center because of the amount of airtime he’s got, but again, I don’t know that it’s fair to call him a center for just that reason--even though Taehyung is very prominent in the vocal. Mostly, Life Goes On is a song BTS is giving to ARMY, so it feels like they’re all singing it to us, and no single member sticks out more than another.

MV Center: Taehyung

Jin does have a bit in the MV, just before the final chorus, where the camera stops on him for a moment, but it’s only that one part, so I couldn’t really call him an MV center. Taehyung--in the original version of this MV, at least--was definitely the one leading the narrative. Most of the MV was the boys having fun or singing to the camera, but there were also the clips of Taehyung driving BTS around, looking at an arena, longing to perform; it seemed like Taehyung was chosen to convey BTS and ARMY’s feelings about the pandemic and how much we all miss each other.

Co-Centers: Jin & Jimin

I gotta be honest: getting a handle on the Film out era is kind of difficult because it feels like such a fragmented song--and that makes it beautiful, but it’s hard to pin down a representative for this era, even though it definitely feels like there is one.

Obviously, I’ve decided that there are two. Again, without choreo, we’re looking at the vocal. To me, Jin and Jimin’s vocal tones stood out the most in Film out. I found both of their contributions to this song to be absolutely stunning, but even being objective, Jin and Jimin seemed like they were supposed to be the ones sticking out this much. I assume that’s because this is a very ethereal song, and I think I can confidently say that no other member has the monopoly on songs that sound like Film out than Jinmin do. Jimin’s angelic adlibs and falsetto was the thing I noticed right away when listening to this for the first time, but the more I listened to it, the more Jin came to the forefront, as well. We may only have vocals to go on for deciding a center--especially since Film out wasn’t marketed much--but Jinmin’s vocals really took center stage for this era.

Secondary Center: Taehyung

I really don’t know what it is that makes me see Taehyung as secondary center for the Film out era and not Jungkook, but Jungkook didn’t feel that prominent at all, despite having written the song. Taehyung felt like the anchor for Film out, which is something I noticed within my first few listens. Jin and Jimin were definitely the shining stars, in my opinion, but Film out still needed Taehyung for balance. The last half of the song is where all three of these members shine the most, and I think it’s really clear that Taehyung’s vocal was able to add a depth of emotion to Jimin and Jin’s. I think secondary centers, to me, are the members I can tell are being used as supports for the center or co-centers, and that’s what Taehyung was for Film out.

MV Center: Jin

This is the exact opposite of Life Goes On, actually, because Taehyung was the one who was last seen in the MV, which makes it tempting to see him as an MV center, but Jin was the one present in the narrative for the whole MV. I don’t know what that narrative was for certain, but I think it was something like looking in from the outside and getting lost in some kind of metaphorical storm. Jin was the one doing all that. So, he’s the MV center, for sure.

Co-Centers: Taehyung & Jungkook

Jungkook is a co-center, in my opinion, because it feels like he was supposed to be. I can’t really pinpoint what it is about Butter that makes Jungkook a co-center, but he’s got airtime on every chorus, which means he’s gonna be prominent in the choreo, as well. That’s probably what it is, now that I think about it. The chorus is the money piece of almost every song, so Jungkook being chosen to be in each of the choruses is a big thing.

Taehyung--look, I don’t know what it is about Taehyung, but the fact that he went from a single line in No More Dream to being this central in one of BTS’s biggest eras is insane to me. Like, listen. Taehyung got to start and end two seperate choruses--which means he’s pretty prominent in the choreo, but he’s also prominent anyway because he’s nearly always in the front--and he got to sing half of each verse. That never happens with Taehyung. Vocally, Taehyung has the most “I’m the motherfucking center” energy than he’s ever had. Something about this era has Taehyung way out in front, and I think that’s so fun since he doesn’t always get that opportunity.

Secondary Center: Jin

I wanted to put Jin down as a co-center; I really did, but the slight difference in vocal prominence between him and Taekook is what made me give him the secondary center position. Jin is still really prominent in the Butter era, though. I thought Jin really outdid himself with his vocal tone in Butter, and he’s been killing the choreo every single time they perform. Jin really does feel like one of the faces of Butter.

MV Centers: Jin & Taehyung

I wasn’t gonna put down an MV center, but didn’t Jin and Taehyung’s MV scenes stick, like, way the fuck out? Jin in that lineup scene did me in, for real. I wasn’t thinking straight for days afterwards. Plus, he’s got that scene during the second verse where he’s in that chair, looking like he owns three islands, and that feels like super big MV center energy. Then, you’ve got Taehyung in the elevator, which is one of his sexiest MV scenes, period. The attitude on him, I swear. The orange suit was the end for me, honestly. I know I just talked about how hot Taejin are, but the way they carry themselves is why it felt like they stuck out in the MV more than the other members. I feel like I can’t deny them the MV center title.

No Center

This is another song that isn’t really supposed to have a center, you know? Permission to Dance is meant to send this hopeful message to ARMY and people around the world, and I just don’t think a center was necessary because the center is BTS as a whole. At the very least, no one really stuck out to me as a sole, or even, co-center. It felt like all the boys shared the load of sending us this message, so I can’t put a center down for this era. I think, for a song like this, though, that’s a pretty damn good thing.

No MV Center

Again, this was really an equal opportunity kind of era. Other MVs have really focused on each of the boys having their own set, and one member often sticks out because of that; the Permission to Dance MV, though it had solo shots of each member, was mostly just the boys, all together and having fun. I mean, Jungkook had that solo dance bit, but that wasn’t enough to sway me.

Okay, that’s it, for now. Let me know what you guys think in the replies. I tried to keep my opinions out of this because I was just looking for which member(s) BigHit was trying to use to sell each era. I’m excited to do this with the B-sides since there’s only vocals to go on, but doing this for the singles was super interesting. Thanks for reading!

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #jeon jungkook

[mitsuhidethesnek]

Time to liveblog Ikepri!

There will be complaining so I won’t tag the characters when I’m complaining lol. Also, this will reflect my blatant bias for scary boys plus Leon. I’m not into softies or tsuns. This is just me airing out MY opinions, so please feel free to disagree and have your own thoughts. I knew I should have started this liveblog earlier. I’m already 4 chapters into Chev’s route. Character first impressions under the cut. Just prologue content.

Prologue thoughts - I like that she owns a bookstore. IkeVamp also had an MC after my own heart, travel journalist. - Yves and Chevalier both lay it on so thick with the insults. Everyone is unworthy to Yves, but it’s his overcompensation from the start. For Chevalier, everyone is just literally inferior because apparently he’s worked so hard to be so ruthlessly superior.

- Eight princes have gathered, one of them will be chosen to be king. Except only our three starter pokemon want to be king, and more than half of them have asked you to be less formal with them lol.

- pfft. Everyone calling Sariel out for kidnapping me. Sariel is like “how dare you accuse me? MC is here of her own free will, right, MC?” and only LEON actually asks my opinion. But he also tries to persuade me by pointing out the icing on top of the ordeal lol.

- I like that Sariel was impressed with me the moment I slapped a drunk. A man who appreciates violence “for a good cause.” I mean, a solid reason to choose me.

- Okay, it is furthermore not about eight different princes vying for power. It’s really just two factions. Team Chevalier and Team Leon. plus Yves kind of

- Prologue Chapter 8 is where Leon starts being nice to you wants to know your thoughts. uwu

- This MC asks questions multiple times. She asked “why her?” for Belle multiple times. It’s extra self-deprecating, which I’m not into, but I guess it’s humble. She doesn’t understand that just being a commoner is enough. It could be anyone. And it just one unlucky standout moment she was chosen for. Leon gives a good reason though. We need someone common who understands what it’s like to be human, because all the royals are a bunch of beasts.

- I love that Belle is a title. Such a good trope. Like how Alice is a title in Ikerev

- I wonder if our translation enthusiasts are complaining. Probably. >> The English localization seems really on the nose with some lines. ><

Individual character thoughts

Rio

- I was expecting puppy immaculate sub. I wasn’t expecting literally obsessed with you. But the fact that he makes Sariel nervous and is too much for Sariel is HILARIOUS. Terrifying levels of enthusiasm. I approve.

- Unfortunately Rio is exactly the type of man I have often had to discourage. It is never just harmless flirting! >< Girl, he gonna keep trying even once you’re married.

Sariel

- Sariel has some sexy lines, but it is 100% creepy since we don’t know each other. - I figured he was my type. Sadistic. Devil-type. The way they do it is he says some pretty unnatural things that imply violence and madness. Disciplinarian. He’s extra and kind of unbelievable and way too handsy in a way that makes him come off shady, but I’m here for the sadistic disciplinarian ride.

-I was looking forward to the contrast between Sariel and Rio, someone who makes you serve and someone else who loves to serve, so I’m here for that contrast. Yves

- No, I don’t appreciate you insulting me every second. He seems like a dainty tsun, so not really my type off the bat.

- However, something tells me his story might be surprisingly moving and relatable? Kind of like Ikevamp Mozart or Ikerev Jonah. Very prim condescending characters who reveal relatable insecurities and standards. Characters that reveal more in their routes than as NPCs.

Luke

- I’m not into big kind guys, but he’s honestly a breath of fresh air. I like that he’s not an active flirt, but what he says is just extra friendly so it comes off flirty. He’s the tallest and is compared to a bear. He doesn’t want to be king. So he seems like someone who will just be nice. I like that he’s super not into the drama and tries to get away from it and discourages it.

Jin

- He’s not my type either. He’s the eldest brother, so he has this knowing air about him all the time like nothing surprises him. But he’s just an observer and commenter so far, doesn’t really interfere. He’s more cool like IkeRev Ray, not an uptight brother-mom figure.

Licht

- Not my type either. Reminds me of IkeRev Harr and Luke. Just really quiet at first so it’s hard to say. He might be the most normal though of all the brothers. Similar to Luke, where he wants to stay out of the drama, but much more taciturn and grumpy about it.

Nokto

- He’s my type. Constantly trying to get in your pants. But he’s coming off kind of cheesy and just nonstop horny to me. Idk, I like seductive enticing dialogue, and I lose interest when it goes past coaxing to full on pushing.

Clavis

- I was REALLY hype for Clavis. Constantly amused character. Turns out, he’s not just this puppeteer in the background. He’s a full on meddler, which I’m still into. He likes starting chaos for its own sake.

- I wonder if he’s different in other routes, but so far having started Chev’s route, I don’t like that he’s mostly here to cause chaos in all matters relating to Chev, instead of being about causing mischief in general. And I don’t like that he’s more of a prankster. I was hoping for sophisticated knowing trickster.

Chevalier

- He lays his superiority complex on SUPER thick. The payoff is supposed to be good when he goes from being utterly unimpressed with you to being obsessed with you. But it’s super disheartening to have characters that make me feel like an idiot. And it’s just how he treats everyone, not just me, but he lays it on thickest at me.

- I literally only like this dude because he’s got that regal IkeSen Kenshin gaze and black fur-lined cape. My brain goes stupid for the regal fur boa, and I like that it’s black against his white color scheme because it suggests that he is the sinister brutal white of winter. So I’m here for all those metaphors.

- But he’s really extreme in how his character revolves around basically two thoughts: Love is worthless. Everyone has a use, and I don’t care about anything but the use of things.

Leon

- saved Leon for last because he’s too easily my favorite!! I’m glad I started Chev’s route because there’s no way I would have touched anyone else if I had started with Leon.

- He’s the best parts of Ikesen Masamune and Nobunaga and Ikevamp Napoleon and Leo! 

- I’m a sucker for the one character who actually cares about what I think and values it even when I underrate my own opinion. ;~;

- He’s the domestic faction in contrast to Chev the foreign faction. so already Chev is about conquest, and Leon is about doing a good job as King taking care of the people. Leon radiates power and can apply it at will, but mostly he asks first, and it’s so nice. Best of both worlds! Power and compassion!

- In a lot of his dialogue, the way he appeals to you is: “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You don’t have to do anything that you’re not ready for. But if you do, it will be fun and life-changing. What do you say? Will you put your trust in me?” He never makes me feel bad for choosing what makes me feel safe or better. And he makes the danger option sound good because he acknowledges the danger and shifts your focus to the benefits, and you know you’ll be protected if you stay by him.

In summary...

I’m here for Leon.

I’m hopeful that Chevalier, Nokto, Sariel and Rio will scratch my itch for their tropes.

Luke and Yves surprised me. I’m open.

Lost interest in Clavis.

No interest in Jin and Licht so far.

#ikepri #just a ramble

[jbuffyangel]

Hi Jen! I know you're a diehard Stelena shipper so here's my question for you with a bit of backstory. I was a hardcore Stelena fan until when Stephan made Elena think he'd drive them off the bridge (3x10?) so she'd let him go. I understand why he did it, but that went too far for me and i couldn't ever ship them again after that. I couldn't get over him forcing her to relive her most traumatic moment, regardless of his reasoning. What are your thoughts on that moment in their relationship?

Yeah, that was a real low point in Stelena’s story. For me, not as low as Stefan drowning in a safe all summer while Elena banged his brother, but still low.

Before we get into this I’m going to just say - every viewer has to draw their own line in the sand. If that moment was your line that’s completely fine. I may have different lines for different shows and characters, but I don’t believe anyone’s lines are more valid than others.

So here’s the way I look at The Vampire Diaries Nonnie - they are all terrible people. Arguing morality with these characters is a black hole. They are all murderers. In fact, if a character runs the straight and narrow for too long Julie Plec & Co. actually went out of their way to make that character do something horrible. 

Case in point - Caroline. Pure sunshine.

She murdered only one person and it was when she was a newbie vamp. By the numbers count Caroline was doing pretty good for TVD. Then she was up on the moral high ground and threw a lot of judgement Damon’s way (well deserved in my opinion). She was extremely anti Delena in Season 4 and was not pleased with Elena’s choices as a vampire. So what did the writers do? They had her kill 12 witches in 4x17. Say goodbye to the moral high ground, Caroline.

That’s the show and you are going to do terrible things if you’re a vampire. Humans like Matt, Jeremy and Bonnie fared better, but each makes morally questionable, if not down right wrong, decisions. Their opinions about vampires and all the murderer was typically correct, but frequently viewed as judgmental by fans.

So what’s my point? Any fan of the love triangle got on board with these relationships with full knowledge the brothers were killers. Just because Stefan was a solid dude when Elena met him didn’t erase the fact he spent the better part of the 1920s ripping people’s heads off. Hell, Damon murdered people while he was dating Elena. Murder is not a deal breaker- either to Elena or Stelena/Delena fans. If Elena was supposed to end up with the most moral person on TVD she should’ve married this blue eyed cupcake.

Stefan (or Damon for that matter) being cruel to Elena didn’t really make me want to peace out on the show or stop shipping their relationship. Just because Elena is the focus of the terrible thing doesn’t suddenly make it more terrible than all the other things Stefan and/or Damon have done.

I’m not going to defend what Stefan did. You are kinder to him than I am because I think it had zip to do with forcing Elena to let him go. Stefan was still on human blood which made him a rage machine. He was pissed at Klaus for destroying his life (rightfully so) and hell bent on revenge. 

Do I believe Stefan, with his humanity switch on, would actually kill Elena? No, which is why I kind of yawned my way through the whole driving her off the bridge plan. Klaus was an idiot for buying it, but the only reason he did was because Elena was terrified. Stefan said her fear sold it. The point was to traumatize her, which makes Stefan an enormous dick. 

And yet, three episodes later he’s off human blood and Elena is begging him to feel something for her. 

This show was ridiculous. Both sides of the love triangle are abusive, co dependent, toxic train wrecks at certain points in the story. Some points last longer than other points, but I’ll side eye any Stelena or Delena fan who argues  differently.

Stefan was faaaaar too “heroic” by The Vampire Diaries standards the first two seasons. In order to make this love triangle a real love triangle Stefan had to be a dick with his humanity switch ON. The whole Ripper/no humanity thing gives him an easy pass. And The Vampire Diaries, for better or worse, was based on the love triangle.

No, in order for Elena to really struggle choosing between the two brothers, and not looking like a loony tune for giving Damon a second look while Stefan was literally the vampire equivalent of Clark Kent, they needed Stefan to go to the dark side. This made Damon step up to the plate and he became the hero in Elena’s life. And we’re off to the races with the love triangle, which was the whole point of Season 3 - ELENA’S CHOICE. If I took a shot every time Elena said, “I don’t know how I feel,” I would’ve permanently damaged my liver.

So why did I keep shipping Stelena after that moment? 

Because I knew what the show was trying to do. Stefan had to do something as terrible as Damon killing Jeremy to even the playing field. 

Do I feel those moments equate? No, but I’m a Stelena fan so that’s not a shock. I own my bias. Bloodaholic Stefan was never going to hurt Elena (no not even turn her into a vampire) whereas Damon literally killed Jeremy. 

I also kept shipping them because I knew this was the low point. I knew good Stefan would start to come back after this. And Stefan, when he’s not ripping heads off, has his humanity switch on, and his blood addiction under control, is one of the best people on that show. Selfless, heroic, warm, compassionate, protective and giving. He’s devoted to Elena and loves her deeply, but he also loves her friends and family. Does Stefan put those people first all the time like Elena wanted him to? No, but he prioritized them a hell of a lot more than Damon. 

I was willing to forgive Stefan for Wickery Bridge because I knew Stefan would feel immense guilt once the haze of revenge lifted and he allowed the full weight of all the things he did hit him. Stefan would punish himself more than I ever could and do everything in his power to make amends because that’s who he is. 

This is the same reason Elena chose Stefan at the end of Season 3. Did he “earn” his redemption by 3x22? No, the dude had been acting good for a total of nine episodes. Well, techinically five if we’re being strict about what constitutes “Good Stefan.” Elena didn’t choose Stefan because of the person he was during Season 3. She chose Stefan because of the man he had been in Season 1 and Season 2. That’s the man she loved and she knew that man had come back. 

But if we’re really being fair - Damon probably deserved to be chosen more than Stefan just based on their behavior in Season 3. Same rules apply for Season 4. Stefan deserved to be chosen more than Damon then.

***Side note. One thing TVD did extremely well was parallels. I loved that she told Stefan on the phone that she loved him in 3x01 and to hold on to that. Then told Damon on the phone that she is choosing Stefan in 3x22. 

(This is also why Elena told Damon she loved him for the first time over the phone. It was to make up for the time she dumped him over the phone and left him for dead. See? They all did crappy stuff to each other CONSTANTLY).

The difference between the brothers is not good and bad. Stefan isn’t entirely good just like Damon isn’t entirely bad. The difference between the two brothers is one fights the good in him while the other fights the bad. Neither are successful in their battles all the time. Stefan did terrible things, with his humanity on, and Damon could be wonderfully heroic and sweet. 

But Damon pushed against that goodness A LOT. Whereas Stefan pushed against his badness A LOT.  I’m not into the bad boys or the anti heroes. I like darkness in my fictional men, but I enjoy watching them fight it and not relish it. 

But I don’t glean any morality from The Vampire Diaries. It was a fantasy show. It’s crap I watched for fun and had pointless, but entertaining, ship debates with strangers on the Internet. Nor do I apply my real world principles to my shipping preferences. I am married to the kindest, gentlest, most moral man I know. I like the goody guys with NO darkness in real life. I would never allow my kid to date a Stefan or Angel or hell not even Oliver Queen in real life. Are you nuts???? THEY MURDERED PEOPLE.

But in my fantasy world, yes I am extremely forgiving. Not unlike Elena Gilbert, Buffy Summers and Felicity Smoak. Oliver Queen is as squeaky clean as I get. It’s a little easier I think with Angel (versus Stefan) because he only did horrible things after he lost his soul, which was not his fault. 

It’s really two personas. I love Angel, but I hated Angelus. I never wanted Buffy to hook up with Angelus. 

Does that erase his responsibility over Jenny Calendar? 

Nope. But simply because I knew Jenny Calendar as a viewer, and Angel was hurting people Buffy loved, doesn’t suddenly make that murder worse than all the others Angelus killed. Just because Buffy didn’t know those people, and they died hundreds of years ago, doesn’t make their lives any less valuable. But I got on board with Buffy dating Angel knowing all that before he lost his soul, so the morality factor didn’t really change after he got his soul back. Make sense?

It’s similar with Stefan. Stefan and The Ripper are two personas, but TVD liked to muddy the water a little more than Whedon with the humanity switch - a grey area. But in general I divide his character into two selves. 

Now, in real life if I was on a jury these guys would be serving 25 to life. But this is fantasy. Vampires don’t really exist. Teenage girls don’t date men over 110 years old. It’s illegal.

Characters like Stefan and Angel are an allegory. They represent the struggle between good and evil that live within all of us. The writers use vampirism to represent our sinful nature. The human struggle to be good and battle against our (hopefully) lower scale darkness/sins is the only real moral lesson I apply. That and always put Paul Wesley in a white tank top.

So, that’s how I look at that scene Nonnie. As I said before it is completely fine for that to be the moment you stopped shipping Stelena. I never stopped shipping Stelena and I never will, which is why they are one of my OTPs. They are a tragic story, but I will always love them. Despite all of Stefan’s terrible mistakes, I will always believe he was the best choice Elena ever made.

#stelena #stelena meta #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #stefan and elena #anti damon #anti delena #anti damon salvatore #angel #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs meta #asks #Anonymous

[jisungsjheekies]

𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸𝚗 𝙼𝚢 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚍

Genre: Soulmate!au, fluff, slight angst?

Word count: 6k

Warnings: swearing

Requested: Yes, for my friend Kenz ♡

*****Important note before reading: when words are italicized during conversations, it is Mackenzie’s thoughts //// when words are italicized and bolded in conversations, it is Changbin’s thoughts*****

In this world, everyone has their ‘person’. Someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Someone to love them forever. Someone chosen specifically for them. In this world, everyone has a soulmate. But no one knows who they are until they discover them through certain abilities. Some soulmates share matching tattoos from birth. Some are able to communicate through the writings on their arm. Some even see in black and white until one day, they meet their soulmate and finally see in color. There is a wide variety of connections that people share with their soulmate. 

In Mackenzie’s particular case, she can hear her soulmate’s thoughts. It all began when she turned twenty last month. She’d woken up during a nap because she kept hearing a voice. Thinking someone was outside her apartment. However when she opened the door, nobody stood outside. That’s weird. She shut the door before she heard the voice again. Where the hell is that voice coming from? she thought to herself. Terrified that someone had broken into her apartment, she began to panic. I’m about to die aren’t I? The voice rang out again, making her stop in her tracks.

Calm down, it’s just me, the voice spoke out. 

Turning her head all around, she looked for the source. Nothing. “Who’s there?” she whimpered. 

Will you please relax? You’re giving me a headache, the voice spoke again.

“What’s going on?” Mackenzie rubbed her face in distress.

It’s me. Your soulmate.

After the confession, she went silent. Afraid to speak. Afraid to think. Was this really her soulmate? It’d been five minutes and she’d already annoyed them. This was not how she wanted her first interaction with her soulmate to go.

________________________________________________________________

1 month later...

Even as the days passed, she’d been too scared to acknowledge them. Too worried she’d only annoy them further. Still, they could hear her thoughts as she could their’s. She began to wonder just how long they’d been able to hear her. Had it been for a while or had they only started hearing her recently too?

Suddenly the voice rang out, acknowledging each other for the first time since that day. I’ve been able to hear you for a little over a year now.

Her eyes grew wide as she apologized, Oh god I’m so sorry. I know I'm annoying.

She could hear them snicker, Relax, it’s cool. It’s been quite interesting.

Immediately she groaned. I don’t even want to know the type of things you’ve heard. She recalled all the times she complained about period cramps and the stress from school to quoting vines and fangirling about boys on a regular basis. At this point, she wanted to crawl into a hole and die alone from the embarrassment.

I’ve heard it all. Especially your little fascination with Stray Kids. 

Okay. For one, it’s definitely not little and two, we’re absolutely not going to discuss that. You’ve already heard too much.

That I have Mac.

Exac—wait what? How do you know my name?

Do you not realize how much you talk to yourself?

Point taken. What’s your name?

Bin.

Cute.

Please don’t.

Damn okay.

I’m off to work now. I’ll talk later.

Bye Bin.

Bye.

“Well they seem like fun” Mackenzie pursed her lips together as she got in her car and drove to work.

________________________________________________________________

2 days later…

“Don’t forget your paper is due Sunday night at 11:59 pm” the professor announced. Everyone gathered their things as they exited the lecture hall. Mackenzie sighed heavily. She had two days to complete a paper that she hadn’t even started. Between her other classes and work, she didn’t really have time for it. Now her busy schedule was catching up to her as she would more than likely have to pull all nighters to finish it. Walking through her apartment door, she tossed her bag on the couch before grabbing a couple snacks from the kitchen to get her through the night.

“Only the power of god and anime will get me through this paper” Mackenzie groaned as she opened the bag of chips and her laptop before beginning her paper. About four hours later, she’d gotten a little over half of the assignment done before she had to take a short break. Looking at her phone, the clock showed, ‘11:46pm’. Yeah, it was probably going to be a long night but she was determined to finish the assignment before work tomorrow night. Resuming her work, she spent another hour typing away at the laptop when a voice interrupted her thoughts.

You’re literally making ME stressed out and I’m not the one even writing a paper.

I’m sorry.

Are you okay?

If I say yes, will you leave me alone so that I can work?

I would but that doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. Now what’s wrong?

I’m stressed and exhausted.

Why don’t you stop and finish it later? You shouldn’t overwork yourself.

Because I have work tomorrow and the next day so I literally have no other time to do this but now.

Just don’t overwork yourself please.

Why? Are you worried or something?

Considering you’re my soulmate, yes I am.

Mackenzie’s heart skipped a beat. Sometimes she forgets that the voice in her head wasn’t hers and that it was the person she was destined to spend the rest of her life with.

Okay. I won’t.

Good. I’m going back to work now. Good luck Mac.

Thanks Bin.

Afterwards, Mackenzie set her mind to finish as soon as she could. Closing her laptop not too much later. She checked her phone again as the clock struck ‘2:00am’. She lifted her tired limbs from the couch to tread to her room. Changing into something more comfortable, she collapsed into bed and immediately knocked out.

________________________________________________________________

3 hours later... 

A voice stirred Mackenzie from her sleep. Was she dreaming or----?

Bin?

Yes?

It’s 5am, why are you awake?

Because it’s 6pm for me.

Oh. So he lived across the world.

Did I wake you?

Yeah but it’s okay.

I’m sorry.

You sound stressed. What’s wrong?

It’s nothing, go back to sleep.

Do you really think I’m going to buy that? Spill.

I’m just stressed about work and took it out on one of my roommates.

Why are you stressed?

My project’s deadline is in a week and I’m still not finished with it.

What kind of project?

They hesitated for a moment. Mackenzie waited patiently for an answer.

Producing a song.

You work in the music industry? That’s pretty cool. Mackenzie could hear them sigh, slightly relieved.

Yeah. It’s fun but stressful most of the time.

Understandable.

What do you do?

I’m in college but I work part time at a clothing store.

That’s--

Not exciting I know. Look, as much as I’d like to learn more about you, it’s almost 6am and I have to work tomorrow, so I should probably go back to sleep.

Okay, sorry again for waking you.

It’s cool. Goodnight Bin.

Goodnight Mac.

________________________________________________________________

1 week later…

Over the past few days, Mackenzie had more interactions with her soulmate. Granted, it wasn’t very many because they both had very different and busy schedules, especially with the time zone difference. However, they’d managed to learn a few more things about each other. So far, Mackenzie had learned that Bin was a twenty one year old boy from Korea who worked in the music industry and lived with several obnoxious roommates (his description, not hers). Bin learned that she was a twenty year old girl who lived with her best friend Allie in New York and was in college. 

“You know the tickets go on sale in a month right?” Allie asked the girl, bringing her back to reality. The two girls were currently trying to pass the time at work as they folded clothes and reorganized the racks.

“I know. You’re still going with me right?” Mackenzie asked, holding a shirt in her hands. Allie looked at her dumbfounded.

“As if I’d ever miss it. I’ve been saving up for like four months now” Allie laughed.

“I’m just worried that we won’t be able to get tickets. You know how fast they sold out last time” Mackenzie expressed worriedly.

“I don’t care what I gotta do. We are seeing Stray Kids and that’s final” Allie huffed in determination. Mackenzie just laughed at the girl, moving behind the counter to help the customers in line.

God please let us get tickets, Mackenzie thought to herself, wanting the day to be over with.

I’m afraid I can’t help you with that, Bin’s voice startled her.

With what?

The tickets. Who are you trying to see?

Stray Kids.

Holy shit.

Don’t tell me your a fan of them?

And what if I am?

Omg. Who’s your bias?

Who’s yours?

Changbin.

Eh, mine’s Felix.

Are you going to see them?

Would be kinda hard not to.

Exactly. I hope I can get tickets. Allie and I have been saving for months.

Good luck. I hope you can get them.

________________________________________________________________

30 minutes before the ticket release…

“I’m so nervous I might vomit” Mackenzie announced. In front of her, laid both of their laptops and phones with the ticket website open.

“Please don’t” Allie paced around the room, biting her nails anxiously. They’d both been a nervous wreck all day due to the concert tickets going on sale tonight. After several months of working their ass off and saving every penny possible, the moment had finally come. If they didn’t get tickets, they’d be absolutely devestated.

“Holy shit. Only 5 more minutes Kenz” Allie threw herself on the ground next to Mackenzie, ready to spend all her money.

“Just stay as calm as possible” Mackenzie told the girl, also trying to do the same for herself.

5……..4….….3……..2….....1

The clock struck 7:00pm as the girls refreshed the websites. The website immediately crashing due to all the people trying to do the same as them. Quickly after, the website recovered as they searched for tickets. In a matter of six minutes, Allie turned to Mackenzie and she did the same, both girls speaking at the same time.

“They sold out.”

“I got them.”

“WHAT” Allie choked as her eyes doubled in size, shock spread across her face, “Kenz don’t play with me like that.”

“Al, we got VIP” Mackenzie grinned at the girl as she showed her the purchase confirmation on her laptop. ‘2 VIP tickets for Stray Kids in New York on December 16th’

“Holy shit” Allie began to tear up, “WE’RE GOING TO SEE STRAY KIDS HOLY SHIT!” The girl tackled Mackenzie into a hug as tears streamed down her face.

“I’M GOING TO MEET BINNIE” Mackenzie all but screamed as the girls jumped up and down in excitement. Immediately, Allie froze in place.

“Oh my god I’m going to meet Jisung” Allie began screaming again, as if she just realized they’d be meeting them. After their excitement died down, the girls watched netflix while they ate dinner together before splitting off into their own rooms.

Congrats Mac.

Thanks! Did you get tickets?

No. Sold out immediately.

Oh no, I’m sorry.

It’s cool. I’m at work now, I’ll talk later. Bye Mac.

Bye Bin.

Three months until her and Allie would be seeing the boys in concert for the very first time. How is she supposed to sleep now?

________________________________________________________________

2 weeks later… 

Mackenzie sat in class, bored out of her mind as she listened to the professor ramble on and on about whatever topic they’d been discussing. Completely zoned out, she started humming I am You to herself.

It’s 3am. Please stop singing.

I’m bored, sorry.

Are you in class?

Yep. I don’t even know what the professor is talking about.

Maybe if you paid attention.

Maybe if you stanned Loona.

Um what?

Nothing. Go back to sleep.

I can’t.

Why?

I want to talk to you. Mackenzie’s heart fluttered at the thought. How sweet.

About what?

Are you excited for the Stray Kids concert?

YES. I’m going to meet Changbin!

Why do you like him so much?

Isn’t it obvious? The boy can fucking rap better than anyone else. He’s pretty badass but he’s also a cute baby.

Cute baby?

The cutest. I also admire his love for music and his members.

That’s…..really sweet.

It’s the truth. I have to go now, class is over. Bye Bin.

Bye Mac.

________________________________________________________________

1 month later…

Mackenzie and Allie wandered around the department store, looking for the perfect outfits for the concert that was two months away. They were currently in the fifth store today. All the others proven to be unsuccessful.

“What do you think of this?” Allie held a dress up to her body. Mackenzie gave it a glance before shaking her head.

“Too bright. Find something darker” Mackenzie recommended, looking through the various racks of clothes. An item caught her eye as she grabbed it from the rack, walking around the store to find something to go with it. Quickly finding what she had envisioned, she found Allie holding up two jackets to her front, comparing them. She turned to her friend.

“Help” Allie asked, internally struggling as she couldn’t decide which jacket she liked more.

“The green one” Mackenzie said without hesitation as she walked towards the dressing rooms. Allie placed the other jacket back before following Mackenzie. The two girls walked into the rooms next to each other. Prepared to show the other their selection. 

“Are you dressed yet?” Allie asked the girl. Tying the laces on her boots, she answered the girl by opening her door. Stepping out of the room at the same time, the girls looked over each other before Allie clapped her hands excitedly.

“You look perfect!” Allie shouted in glee. Mackenzie adjusted her hat. She’d chosen an oversized black and yellow flannel paired with a black t-shirt dress, black knee high socks and black combat boots.

“You don’t think it’s too bland?” Mackenzie asked worriedly. It’d already taken most of the day to find something and if this wasn’t it then she didn’t know if she’d ever find the right outfit.

“Omg no. Changbin’s gonna freak when he sees you” Allie stated confidently, making the girl smile. Mackenzie then took notice of her friend’s choice of clothing.

“Did we really get the same shoes?” Mackenzie stifled a laugh. Allie had chosen a pair of black denim high-waisted shorts with a black top, an oversized olive green jacket (Mackenzie’s choice from the two), black combat boots, and a cheetah print beanie.

“Soulmate things” Allie replied as if it wasn’t already obvious. 

________________________________________________________________

2 weeks before the concert… 

The day couldn’t get any worse for Mackenzie. First, she’d gotten back her history test, finding out that she’d failed it. Then her car wouldn’t start so she had to get it towed and because she was short a car, she had to walk home. Just when she was ten minutes away from her apartment, rain had begun pouring down as it soaked through her hair and clothes. Once inside her apartment, she was met with silence as Allie was working the night shift that night, leaving her home alone. Peeling the wet clothes from her body, she took a warm shower to ease her stress before climbing out and getting dressed. Mackenzie sighed as she crawled into bed.

The stress of the day had finally hit her as she broke down, sobbing into her pillow. She was pretty good about controlling her emotions but after the events from today, there was no way that was happening. Fifteen minutes had passed when a voice broke through Mackenzie’s sobs.

What’s wrong? Bin asked you after hearing your upsetting thoughts.

I’d say nothing but you’re not stupid.

Do you want to talk?

It’s just been a really shitty day and I want to forget about it.

Alright then. Ask me something.

Ask you something?

Yeah ask me a question. I’m trying to change the subject.

What’s your full name?

Okay anything but that.

But… 

You know I can’t answer that.

Okay then. When will we meet?

A lot sooner than you probably expect.

What’s that supposed to mean?

It means we’ll have to wait and see when that day comes.

Are you kidding me? Mackenzie groaned, earning a laugh from the boy.

Sorry Mac. Just be patient. 

Yeah yeah, like I have a choice.

I know it’s late there, you need to go to sleep.

I don’t wanna.

Omg go to sleep.

Okay damn I will.

Goodnight Mac.

Goodnight Bin. 

________________________________________________________________

The day before the concert… 

Work had been slow as Mackenzie and Allie tried finding any little task to pass the time. Mackenzie had been staring aimlessly at the people walking past the store just as Allie sat next to her.

“Can you fucking believe it? We’re seeing Stray Kids tomorrow night!!” Allie hollered in excitement.

“Could you be any louder? You’re scaring the customers” Mackenzie apologized to the customer walking by.

“Actually I could but you’d slap me” Allie retorted. 

“I’d slap you regardless” Mackenzie snickered, making Allie roll her eyes.

“I hate you sometimes” Allie groaned.

“Likewise” Mackenzie winked playfully at her friend.

“You’re pretending to act cool but I know you’re freaking out on the inside” Allie commented.

“Of course I am. We’ve waited forever for the moment” Mackenzie started before adding, “I just have this gut feeling like something will be different.”

“What do you mean?” Allie questioned her friend.

“I’m not sure. Something in me just feels different” Mackenzie answered, confused as well.

“Good different or bad different?”

“Definitely good” Mackenzie grinned brightly.

“What if one of them falls in love with you!!!” Allie all but screamed, once again scaring the nearby customers. Mackenzie threw her hands over her face as she groaned.

“As if that would ever happen” Mackenzie quickly shut her friend’s idea down.

“You never know” Allie winked at the girl before assisting a customer in need.

Alone with her thoughts, Mackenzie couldn’t help but wonder what was causing her to have this feeling. Maybe it wasn’t the concert that was giving her this feeling. Maybe it was the fact that Bin said they’d meet sooner than she expected. How soon was soon? She was afraid that she’d never meet him considering he wouldn’t share his name. Mackenzie understood that he kept it hidden for safety precautions, just as she did her own identity. If only she could shake this feeling so she could focus on the excitement of the concert with her best friend.

Why are you always so stressed?  Bin thought, making Mackenzie huff.

I could say the same to you, Mackenzie retorted.

Touche. So…what’s on your mind?

Too much.

Do you want to talk about it?

Not exactly. I’d rather just not think about it at the moment.

What DO you want to think about?

The concert tomorrow night.

It’s tomorrow night?? Bin asked, somewhat panicked.

That’s what I just said.

Wow. I didn’t realize it was so soon. Are you excited?

Of course I am. I’m just extremely scared to meet them, especially Changbin.

Why especially him?

You know how it goes, everyone wants to be remembered. He’s my favorite so of course I’d like for him to remember me. I just don’t want to embarrass myself or for him to be disappointed.

Why would he be disappointed?

There’s plenty of other girls who are much prettier than me so I can’t be that exciting to meet.

I know for a fact that’s not true.  You’re a beautiful girl Mac.

Bin, you’ve literally never seen me before.

I don’t have to see you. I know your personality, how kind your heart is, how hardworking you are. Looks aren’t the only thing that makes you attractive.

You really think that?

I don’t think, I KNOW.

Thank you for cheering me up.

Anytime.

I have to go back to work now.

Let me know how the concert goes. Bye Mac.

I will. Bye Bin.

That feeling in her stomach only intensified after the conversation came to an end. Instead of thinking about it more, Mackenzie focused all of her attention into little tasks at work, hoping for the day to come to an end as soon as possible. If only she knew what would happen to her the next day.

________________________________________________________________

Concert day… 

“I’m so glad we have seats because there’s no way I could stand in that line all day” Allie commented as they’d arrived at the venue with only five hours to go until the concert.

“Seats or not, I still can’t believe we got VIP. Like, we’re gonna meet them in less than eight hours” Mackenzie remained calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside she felt like she would vomit any second now thanks to her anxious nerves. Allie, however, was a different story as she grabbed ahold of Mackenzie’s arms and started jumping excitedly.

“I’m gonna meet Jisung and you’re gonna meet Changbin!!!!” Allie squealed loudly. There wasn’t any point in shushing her as she wasn’t the only one acting this way.

“Promise me when we do that you won’t scare the poor boys” Mackenzie begged, making Allie laugh.

“I promise…maybe” Allie grinned. That girl really had no shame. Mackenzie figured that’s why they made such a great pair. They were both similar and different in every way. Mackenzie shook her head.

“After we get our wristbands, let’s grab some food at across the street and hang out there until it’s time to get in line again” Allie pointed at the cafe, Cozy Cup,  in front of the venue as Mackenzie agreed. Both of the girls proceeded to get in line for their wristbands, only having to wait around thirty minutes before they walked to the cafe. Cozy Cup was a small cafe that’s menu consisted of coffees, smoothies, and baked goods. Mackenzie ordered an iced caramel coffee and a scone while Allie ordered a pineapple smoothie and cookie. They’d both eaten a large breakfast so they weren’t in the mood for much at the moment, waiting until after the concert to pig out. Food on a nervous stomach was never a good idea. Sitting down with their purchases, they spotted a few other fans sitting around the cafe, probably doing the same thing as them.

The two girls chatted for the next couple hours, having to get refills on their drinks, before the clock struck ‘6:30pm’ signaling that it was time for them to get back in line as the concert would begin in an hour and a half. Throwing their trash away, Mackenzie and Allie headed back across the street towards the venue, noticing how the lines had grown at least three times in size. After forty five minutes of waiting, the two girls were finally ushered inside the venue after going through security and getting their tickets scanned. Even though they had seats, they made sure to get as close as possible to the stage, scoring seats in the front row.

Watching as more fans continued to pile into the venue, it was now five minutes until the concert would begin. Suddenly, Mackenzie’s head filled with anxious thoughts as her soulmate had begun to freak out over something.

Bin are you okay?

I will be soon, don’t worry, Bin rushed out before adding, Enjoy the concert.

Talk to you later.

Oh you have no idea, Bin accidentally thought. Mackenzie furrowed her brows in confusion.

No idea about what?

Nothing. Have fun, Bye Mac.

Bye Bin, Mackenzie thought just as the lights when down and fans began to scream.

In one moment the stage was empty and then the next, nine boys filled the empty stage as the noise from the fans intensified. Mackenzie and Allie would, without a doubt, have sore throats the next day as they joined the rest of the cheering. Never in her life did she believe she’d ever get the chance to see these boys live, much less with her best friend next to her. It really was a dream come true. The odd feeling still remained but she pushed it into the back of her mind as she focused on the boys on stage. Halfway through the concert, they took a break to talk to the fans before Changbin spoke up.

“Who’s ready for the next song?” He asked as fans screamed in response.

“This is….. Voices.” The moment he announced the title, that feeling in the pit of Mackenzie’s stomach grew stronger as she grew silent. All she could do was listen and watch as they performed the song. She wanted to sing along but something told her not to. She started to feel overwhelmed, having to sit down for a moment. Her actions caused Allie to glance over, asking if she was okay. Mackenzie reassured her that she was fine and Allie turned back to the boys. The moment Mackenzie lifted her head, she noticed Changbin searching into the crowd, looking slightly worried. I wonder why, she thought. Changbin quickly recovered, continuing with the concert as he searched the crowd. 

Sooner than anyone wanted, the concert came to an end as the boys bowed goodbye on stage before exiting, probably going to get ready for the hi-touch event. Mackenzie watched as the fans who didn’t have VIP exited the venue while the fans who did remained in their seats, waiting to meet the boys. Everyone was split into three groups, Mackenzie and Allie being in the second group. As the first group was called to enter, the next group stood to go next. A few minutes later and then it was their group’s turn to go. Allie was in front of Mackenzie as they followed through the halls, security directing the fans the right way.

And then she saw them. First up was Seungmin. Everything happened so fast, she couldn’t process it quick enough. The order of the line went: Seungmin, Felix, Woojin, Minho, Jisung, Changbin, Jeongin, Hyunjin, Chan. While greeting the first few members, Mackenzie watched as Allie stood in front of Jisung, the girl freaking out when Jisung winked at her. The line continued to move as it was Mackenzie’s turn to greet Jisung. The boy flashed her a bright smile, thanking her for coming before moving to the next fan. Mackenzie looked up at the next boy, heart dropping in her stomach as she noticed Changbin already looking at her. She moved closer, smiling nervously at him.

Holy shit it’s really him, Mackenzie thought excitedly.

Time seemed to freeze as Changbin’s eyes went wide, “Mac?”

The smile that once painted Mackenzie’s face, dropped instantly after hearing the nickname fall from his lips. “Bin” Mackenzie gasped, watching as the boy panicked when security rushed Mackenzie to greet the remaining members. She couldn’t help but glance back at the boy the further she moved down the line, catching his eyes on her more than once. 

Please don’t leave.

No response.

Let’s talk after I’m done. Please Mac.

Okay. Meet me across the street at Cozy Cup.

After one final glance, Mackenzie followed behind Allie as she moved out of the boy’s sight. Stopping just outside the venue, Mackenzie dropped to her knees in shock as everything finally hit her.

“Kenz what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Allie continued throwing questions at the girl as she crouched down in front of her.

“No” was all Mackenzie could get out before looking up at her friend in horror.

“You’re scaring me” Allie panicked, grabbing Mackenzie’s hands.

“I need to tell you something” Mackenzie rushed out, “but it needs to be in private.”

Allie nodded her head, helping the girl up as the two walked across the street to the cafe. Choosing a booth near the back, away from other customers, Mackenzie took a deep breath before beginning.

“I met my soulmate” Mackenzie admitted for the first time to anyone. Allie’s eyes grew wide in shock.

“You WHAT? Omg!!! Who is he????” Allie sat on the edge of her seat, waiting for an answer.

“Changbin.”

“What? How? When? WHAT?” Allie threw questions at her left and right before Mackenzie stopped her.

“I’m trying to explain woman! It started a month after my birthday. I started hearing things. I thought I was being crazy but turns out that was my connection with my soulmate. I could hear his thoughts and he could hear mine. At first I was freaked out because he’d been able to hear me way before I could him, but then we started to warm up to each other. We didn’t share names, only nicknames, just to be safe. I knew a few things about him like how he worked in the music industry or that he lived with several of his friends in Korea. He knew I lived in New York with my best friend and that I was still in college but that’s all we shared.”

Allie looked at her friend confused, “Wait, so how do you know it’s Changbin?”

“When I got to him in the line, the first thing he said was ‘Mac’” Mackenzie announced, still in shock from it all.

“Mac?”

“He called me Mac and I called him Bin. That’s how we knew.”

“Holy shit” Allie leaned back in her seat, also in shock before smirking, “I fucking called it.”

“What?” Mackenzie stared at her friend dumbfounded.

“You said you had a weird feeling about something happening today and I said, as a joke, that one of them would fall in love with you and now look” Allie grinned excitedly.

“I---”

“Hold up. Are you going to meet him?” Allie wondered.

“If it’s actually him, he’ll be here soon.”

“He’s coming here? To the cafe?”

“Yes.” Allie squealed quietly, excited for her friend. “After you start dating, introduce me to Jisung.” Mackenzie smacked the girl’s hand playfully as she laughed.

“Take the car and meet me back at the apartment. I’ll find a ride home” Mackenzie stated, handing Allie the car keys.

“I can wait for you” Allie offered.

“No don’t. There’s no telling how long this will take. I’ll call you after” Mackenzie promises, pushing Allie out of the booth.

“Be careful” Allie told her as she exited the cafe. Mackenzie remained in the booth, alone with her thoughts as she waited for any sign of the boy’s arrival. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe he’d forgotten. Maybe this was all some sick trick that her mind was playing on her. So much had happened in the past hour, she felt overwhelmed. Laying her head against the window, she watched as people walked by. So consumed in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the person slip into the booth in front of her. After a few moments, Mackenzie sighed to herself before turning her head forward, jumping in her seat.

“Holy shit you scared me” Mackenzie gasped, earning a laugh from the boy in front of her.

“Sorry” he laughed. Both of them stared at one another, waiting for the other to speak.

Is it really you? Mackenzie thought, watching the boy closely.

Changbin removed the mask from his face, before nodding his head, “It’s really me.”

Tears welled up in Mackenzie’s eyes as Changbin hesitantly reached for her hands, holding them in his own.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” he apologized, all the guilt weighing down on him, “I just didn’t know how you’d react.”

“No it’s okay, I understand” Mackenzie nodded her head. Then it dawned on her.

“Oh my GOD I talked about you TO you!” Mackenzie wailed in embarrassment, throwing her head into her hands.

“I thought it was cute” Changbin smiled at her. Mackenzie lifted her head, giving him an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

“Cute? I probably sounded so stupid” Mackenzie whined.

“No you didn’t. I appreciate everything you said about me” Changbin mentioned, “The way you said you admired me for my dedication for music and the way you always helped me when I felt stressed. I got to know the real you, not just the side of you who’s a fan of Stray Kids.”

“I knew I picked you as my favorite for a reason” Mackenzie grinned making Changbin laugh. A comfortable silence washed over them as they gazed at one another.

“Bin?” Mackenzie whispered.

“Yes?” 

“What does this mean now?” Mackenzie wondered. She’d waited her whole life to find the one she was destined to be with. And now that she’d found him, she wasn’t sure what would happen next considering her soulmate was a member of one of the biggest boy bands in South Korea.

“I’m not gonna let you go” Changbin mentioned as Mackenzie gave him a confused look. “Just because I’m in front of you doesn’t mean I can’t still hear your mind.”

“You’re an idol Bin. How is this going to work?” Mackenzie worried. Changbin grabbed ahold of her hands tightly.

“It’s going to be hard but we can do this. You just have to trust me… do you trust me?” he asked her. Mackenzie held his stare for a brief moment before nodding her head.

“I trust you.”

“Good” Changbin smiled brightly, “How do you feel about moving to Korea after you graduate?”

“And live with you?”

“I don’t see why not” Changbin answered. Mackenzie felt the familiar feeling in her stomach return as the butterflies erupted in her stomach.

“On one condition” she bargained. Changbin quirked a brow at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Allie comes too.”

“She was the one Jisung winked at, right?”

“How did you--”

“You were thinking about it” Changbin replied immediately. “Considering Jisung wouldn’t shut up about her, I don’t think either of them would have a problem with it.”

“Wait” Mackenzie realized something, “Do the others know about me?”

“Of course. They were the ones who helped me figure out why I was hearing voices in my head that didn’t belong to me.”

“Lucky you. I thought I was getting robbed the first time I heard you” Mackenzie shuddered at the memory.

“I know” Changbin snickered, causing the girl in hit his arm. “So” he began.

“So” Mackenzie repeated him.

“Do you want to meet the guys?” he asked.

“You do know I just met them less than two hours ago, right?” she giggled.

“Yeah but they didn’t get to meet you as the girl who’s also my soulmate.”

“It’s so weird hearing you say that” Mackenzie commented.

“Why’s it weird?” Changbin wondered.

“Because you’re you” Mackenzie announced as if it was the most obvious thing. Changbin just laughed in response.

“So do you want to meet them?” he asked once more. Mackenzie just nodded in response, watching as he rose from the seat in front of her before extending a hand her way. She grabbed ahold of his hand as he helped her from the seat. She followed behind the boy as they exited the cafe. Waiting to cross the street, Mackenzie could sense the nervousness radiating from the boy as he turned to face her.

“Can I ask you something?” Changbin gazed into her eyes as the girl nodded.

“Can I kiss you?” His question made her freeze in shock. She remained silent as Changbin began to panic, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

“Yes” Mackenzie interrupted the boy, taking one step closer to him. Placing his hands on either side of her face, Changbin gave the girl one last moment to back out, but seeing as she only moved closer, he took that as his chance. Gently placing his lips upon her own, the kiss could only be described in the way they do in movies. It was like a spark was ignited the moment their lips connected. In that moment, everything felt right. Changbin knew she’d felt it too as she smiled against his lips. Shortly after, the two parted as they tried to catch their breaths.

“I’ve wanted to do that the moment I laid my eyes on you” Changbin confessed. It’d only lasted for a few seconds and yet she was already addicted. Already craving for more. 

“Do it again, the boys can wait a little longer” Mackenzie encouraged, making Changbin smile as he leaned in again.

Or maybe they can wait until tomorrow.

________________________________________________________________

Mackenzie’s concert outfit:

Allie’s concert outfit:

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[96thdayofrage]

The anti-racism consulting industry does deserve both some sympathy and some credit. Its intention, to prod white Americans into more awareness of their own racism, is beneficent. And their premise that white people are often unaware of the degree to which racial privilege has enabled their success, which they can mistakenly attribute entirely to merit and effort, is correct. American society is shot through with multiple overlapping systems of racial bias — from exposure to harmful pollution to biased policing to unequal access to education to employment discrimination — that in combination sustain massive systemic inequality.

But the anti-racism trainers go beyond denying the myth of meritocracy to denying the role of individual merit altogether. Indeed, their teaching presents individuals as a racist myth. In their model, the individual is subsumed completely into racial identity.

One of DiAngelo’s favorite examples is instructive. She uses the famous story of Jackie Robinson. Rather than say “he broke through the color line,” she instructs people instead to describe him as “Jackie Robinson, the first Black man whites allowed to play major-league baseball.”

It is true, of course, that Robinson was not the first Black man who was good enough at baseball to make a major-league roster. The Brooklyn Dodgers decided, out of a combination of idealism and self-interest, to violate the norm against signing Black players. And Robinson was chosen due to a combination of his skill and extraordinary personality that allowed him to withstand the backlash in store for the first Black major leaguer. It is not an accident that DiAngelo changes the story to eliminate Robinson’s agency and obscure his heroic qualities. It’s the point. Her program treats individual merit as a myth to be debunked. Even a figure as remarkable as Robinson is reduced to a mere pawn of systemic oppression.

One way to understand this thinking is to place it on a spectrum of thought about race. On the far right is open white supremacy, which instructs white people to fight for their interests as white people. (Hence the 14-word slogan, “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.”) Moving to the left, standard-issue conservatism tends to discount the existence of racism and treat all problems in pure color-blind terms, as though racism has been banished. To the left of that is standard liberalism, which acknowledges the existence of racism as a problem that complicates simple race-neutral solutions.

The ideology of the racism-training industry is distinctively to the left of that. It collapses all identity into racial categories. “It is crucial for white people to acknowledge and recognize our collective racial experience,” writes DiAngelo, whose teachings often encourage the formation of racial affinity groups. The program does not allow any end point for the process of racial consciousness. Racism is not a problem white people need to overcome in order to see people who look different as fully human — it is totalizing and inescapable.

Of course, DiAngelo’s whites-only groups are not dreamed up in the same spirit as David Duke’s. The problem is that, at some point, the extremes begin to functionally resemble each other despite their mutual antipathy.

I want to make clear that when I compare the industry’s conscious racialism to the far right, I am not accusing it of “reverse racism” or bias against white people. In some cases its ideas literally replicate anti-Black racism.

Glenn Singleton, president of Courageous Conversation, a racial-sensitivity training firm, tells Bergner that valuing “written communication over other forms” is “a hallmark of whiteness,” as is “scientific, linear thinking. Cause and effect.”

This is not some idiosyncratic oddball notion. The African-American History Museum has a page on whiteness, which summarizes the ideas that the racism trainers have brought into relatively wide circulation.

“White” values include things like “objective, rational thinking”; “cause and effect relationships”; “hard work is the key to success”; “plan for the future”; and “delayed gratification.” The source for this chart is another, less-artistic chart written by Judith Katz in 1990. Katz has a doctorate in education and moved into the corporate consulting world in 1985, where, according to her résumé, she has “led many transformational change initiatives.” It is not clear what in Katz’s field of study allowed her to establish such sweeping conclusions about the innate culture of white people versus other groups.

One way to think through these cultural generalizations is to measure them against its most prominent avatar for racial conflict, Donald Trump. How closely does he reflect so-called white values? The president hardly even pretends to believe that “hard work” is the key to success. The Trump version of his alleged success is that he’s a genius who improvises his way to brilliant deals. The realistic version is that he’s a lazy heir who inherited and cheated his way to riches, and spends most of his time watching television. Trump is likewise incapable of delayed gratification, planning for the future, and regards “objective rational thinking” with distrust. On the other hand, Barack Obama is deeply devoted to all those values.

Now, every rule has its exceptions. Perhaps the current (white) president happens to be alienated from the white values that the previous (Black) president identified with strongly. But attaching the values in question to real names brings to life a point the racism trainers seem to elide: These values are not neutral at all. Hard work, rational thought, and careful planning are virtues. White racists traditionally project the opposite of these traits onto Black people and present them as immutable flaws. Jane Coaston, who has reported extensively on the white-nationalist movement, summarizes it, “The idea that white people are just good at things, or are better inherently, more clean, harder working, more likely to be on time, etc.”

In his profile, Bergner asked DiAngelo how she could reject “rationalism” as a criteria for hiring teachers, on the grounds that it supposedly favors white candidates. Don’t poor children need teachers to impart skills like that so they have a chance to work in a high-paying profession employing reasoning skills?

DiAngelo’s answer seems to imply that she would abolish these high-paying professions altogether:

“Capitalism is so bound up with racism. I avoid critiquing capitalism — I don’t need to give people reasons to dismiss me. But capitalism is dependent on inequality, on an underclass. If the model is profit over everything else, you’re not going to look at your policies to see what is most racially equitable.”

(Presumably DiAngelo’s ideal socialist economy would keep in place at least some well-paid professions — say, “diversity consultant,” which earns her a comfortable seven-figure income.)

Singleton, likewise, proposed evolutionary social changes to the economy that would render it unnecessary to teach writing and linear thought to minority children. Bergner writes:

I asked whether guiding administrators and teachers to put less value, in the classroom, on capacities like written communication and linear thinking might result in leaving Black kids less ready for college and competition in the labor market. “If you hold that white people are always going to be in charge of everything,” he said, “then that makes sense.” He invoked, instead, a journey toward “a new world, a world, first and foremost, where we have elevated the consciousness, where we pay attention to the human being.”

Whether or not a world along these lines will ever exist, or is even possible to design, is at best uncertain. What is unquestionably true is that these revolutionary changes will not be completed within the lifetime of anybody currently alive. Which is to say, a program to deny the value of teaching so-called white values to Black children is to condemn them to poverty. Unsurprisingly, Bergner’s story shows two educators exposed to the program and rebelling against it. One of them, Leslie Chislett, had to endure some ten anti-racism training sessions before eventually snapping at the irrationality of a program that denigrates learning. “The city has tens of millions invested in A.P. for All, so my team can give kids access to A.P. classes and help them prepare for A.P. exams that will help them get college degrees,” she says, “and we’re all supposed to think that writing and data are white values?”

Ibram X. Kendi, another successful entrepreneur in the anti-racism field, has a more frontal response to this problem. The achievement gap — the long-standing difference in academic performance between Black and white children — is a myth, he argues. The supposed gap merely reflects badly designed tests, he argues. It does not matter to him how many different kinds of measures of academic performance show this to be true. Nor does he seem receptive to the possibility that the achievement gap reflects environmental factors (mainly worse schools, but also access to nutrition, health care, outside learning, and so on) rather than any innate differences.

Kendi, like DiAngelo, argues that racism must be defined objectively. Intent does not matter, only effect. Their own intentions are surely admirable. But the fact is that their insistence on denying that America provides its Black children worse educations inhibits working toward a solution. Denying the achievement gap, like denying the gap in how police treat white and Black people, seems to objectively entrench racism.

It’s easy enough to see why executives and school administrators look around at a country exploding in righteous indignation at racism, and see the class of consultants selling their program of mystical healing as something that looks vaguely like a solution. But one day DiAngelo’s legions of customers will look back with embarrassment at the time when a moment of awakening to the depth of American racism drove them to embrace something very much like racism itself.

[bigskydreaming]

What do you think of dick hability to read the body language in new 52 People act as it doesn't exist and it really bugs me because thats one of the few things i really liked from new 52

I actually really like it, and it fits with some longtime headcanons of mine, but it hasn’t been touched on enough that I can understand it rubbing some people the wrong way, due to Cass.

But its like I said in that post earlier this week, about how I think its pointless to be ‘possessive’ of character traits…..I think Dick is an expert hacker himself, but I don’t think he’s on Babs’ level. Nobody is on Barbara’s level. But his own expertise isn’t diminished because he’s not on the level of the pretty much undisputed best hacker in the DC Universe. Neither is Barbara’s expertise lessened by virtue of Dick, as well as Tim, Bruce and most of the rest of the Batclan, all being damn good at it in their own right.

I see it as being the same thing here. I like the idea that Dick is intuitive and highly capable when it comes to reading body language, for a number of reasons, but I don’t think it suddenly makes him Cass, means he’s as good at it as Cass, or that Cass being on a whole other level with that, being like…lessened or threatened because Dick’s own capabilities in that regard are touched on every now and again.

I’ve actually said this many times before, but I think this insistence so many fans have about their faves being the only ones associated with certain traits, stories or characteristics actually does them a disservice, because when you stop viewing things as a competition and instead look at it as a chance for common ground, you unveil SO many possibilities.

For instance, I’ve always felt, long before the New 52, that it makes sense for Dick to have a strong, unconscious understanding of body language….as in, he’s at the upper levels of what humans are naturally capable of having in that regard, which of course still puts him at an entirely different level than Cass, whose mastery of it is deliberately BEYOND peak human levels because of her own backstory.

But if you think about it, Dick having skills in that direction makes sense for him AND opens up a lot of areas for Dick and Cass to bond more AND have occasional conflict.

Dick is one of the only other Batkids aside from Cass AND Damian, who knows what its like to be raised literally from the time he can walk, to be a proficient athlete with complete control of his body as like…a lifestyle. The kind of demands that makes of someone, the way that instills certain work ethics and instincts in someone practically from birth, to such a degree that it probably NEVER becomes something he can wrap his mind around, that for some people, these kinds of habits AREN’T second nature, practically built into him….that’s something that I don’t think even some of the other most highly capable athletes in the DC universe are fully capable of grasping…like Bruce, Tim, Jason, Dinah, etc. Obviously this doesn’t lessen any of their skills or proficiency as athletes, just as professional athletes who don’t start training in their chosen fields until later in childhood can be just as capable as ones who started in early childhood. But it makes I think, for a slightly different mindset.

I think this is part of why Dick understands Damian so much better or more easily than a lot of others do. Because Damian was raised this way too, just with different end goals than Dick. Dick can’t relate to being raised to kill, to stamp down on his urge to show affection, the specific training methods of the League with someone as young as Damian, no. But that unconscious, built in awareness of his own body in ways that even a lot of other athletes or fighters never develop just because they approach their bodies and training so differently…that I think Dick gets, and because of that he gets Damian and his own work ethic, and the way that telling him to not push himself so hard or take it easy at times….like is going to be totally wasted on Damian, FOR THE SAME REASONS those things have so often been wasted on Dick. 

Telling someone to be careful not to strain or overwork their body is not going to carry a whole lot of weight with a twelve year old kid who has spent ten of those twelve years being instilled with a greater awareness of his own body and capabilities than anyone else will EVER grasp….let alone someone who only met them a year or two ago (notice how this applies to both Damian AND Dick).

Similarly, causing people to worry when they go throw themselves into an extremely rigorous workout routine in the name of ‘relaxing or de-stressing’ is always going to be a thing, when other people just fundamentally don’t get that for someone raised from birth to eat, sleep and breathe their own physicality….this IS relaxing.

So IMO Dick and Damian have at least that much in common, which has given Dick particular insight into Damian that others don’t have, and helped him get further in reaching Damian and developing a bond with him. And extend this to Cass and her own backstory, and I think they all three have this in common, and thus could share this understanding between all three of them….thus giving Cass more opportunities and ways to bond with Dick and Damian in particular.

Continue on for ten thousand more words (lol, I wish I was exaggerating. Oh, me) of Dick Meta, Cass Meta, and Dick and Cass Meta, below the cut:

Now, add in the fact that Dick wasn’t just raised from birth to be a world-class athlete, like Cass was…..but as I often stress, just as important….he was raised from birth to be a PERFORMER. This is where I think his instinctive awareness of body language would have come from. Because he was raised to do all of his athletics with apparent ease, to show none of the strain it takes, to make it look like art, like the performance that it so usually was. And he was also raised to not just perform for a crowd, but to command their attention, to draw eyes, to feed off their energy and use that to tailor his own performances, his every action, to achieve maximum impact. 

Don’t forget Dick was a world-class acrobat as a CHILD. He was quite literally a child prodigy….and people LOVE meeting a child prodigy. Something like the encounter with the Drakes’ that’s part of Tim’s own backstory would have been an every day occurrence to Dick. Which means it was every bit as likely a part of his early training to be able to glean from the rich strangers that wanted a photo op with the young, exhausted child performer that probably just wanted to go to bed now….exactly what would go over best with those strangers, expedite this encounter, and enable Dick to move on to the next one or better yet, out of the tent ASAP.

I’ve talked about the classism Dick endures just by virtue of being a circus performer…its never been about how much money he and his parents did or didn’t have, its about the fact that most people look down on circus performers as like…an amusement to enjoy, not athletes to respect. You can’t deny that people summoning to mind an Olympic level gymnast would view that gymnast in an entirely different way than they would a Cirque de Soleil acrobat they called to mind, even if they had similar levels of athletic skill….because as a society, we regard something like the Olympics as a WORTHY pursuit for an athlete of that caliber….whereas one might sit in the audience of a circus and enjoy the performance, but that doesn’t mean most people walk out of that tent thinking of what they just saw in terms of the SKILL rather than their entertainment, because there’s this unconscious bias that like….if one wanted to actually be respected for their athletics, they’d aim for the Olympics, not to wear gaudy costumes and face paint and travel around in a caravan and never put up roots in any one place, etc. 

Our view of the circus goes well back before Dick’s creation, even, but its very much there. You simply can’t argue that most people give circus performers the respect their skillsets deserve and would merit in other situations…..and you bet your ass, someone like Dick who was raised as one, would have been instilled from a very young age with an awareness of how to glean when someone was treating him with disdain…and respond without offending them, but still not necessarily letting them impact him with their disdain.

Because one of the things I don’t think I’ve ever talked much about is how for as much as we talk about Dick’s self esteem issues and insecurities in regards to Bruce…..the boy Bruce first took in as an orphan was NOT overly insecure. If anything, Dick was the complete opposite. He knew EXACTLY what he was capable of, and was not shy about insisting upon it. I would say by all accounts and reading between the lines, the Graysons did a tremendous job in instilling in Dick from a young age an amazing degree of self-confidence….WHICH probably accounts for a LOT of the later conflict between Dick and Bruce, because it was never just a matter of Dick not getting the vocal or visible respect or appreciation from Bruce that he wanted….it was that Bruce wasn’t giving him it in the forms he’d been raised with, and grown accustomed to. 

Its that disconnect that I think Dick has always struggled with…where he KNOWS, on some level, that Bruce loves and respects him, and holds enormous appreciation for Dick’s own skills….but Dick only knows this because of….well, what he gleans from Bruce’s body language and his own awareness of Bruce and his nature. He has to read between the lines, and still be left guessing (since Bruce is himself pretty much a master of obscuring his own emotions and body language, in as much as anyone is, to the extent that only someone like Cass can willfully pierce that shroud). 

But my point is, there’s every reason in the world to think that Dick’s parents were very good at preparing their world-class prodigy son for the pressures of the spotlight he grew up in, and heavily prioritized making sure he wasn’t going to be diminished by the disdain of whatever snobs he encountered during the meet and greet portion of that lifestyle. And to be good at that, to know how to manage people who make you want to put your fist in their face while giving away nothing but a nod and smile, and still manage to seize enough control over the encounter to walk away with your head held high rather than feeling like you were just thrown to the wolves….that takes a high mastery of body language and an instinctive grasp of how to read people and put them at ease, to seize control of a conversation from someone who is used to having control at all times in all places. You have to know how to PERFORM, at all times. And in this regard, Dick was every bit as much a prodigy as he was in his acrobatics.

IMO Dick Grayson on his A-game could make Brucie weep in envy. I think this training, this ability to read people with just a look and adapt himself accordingly, to make the most of the encounter while giving up the least along the way….I think its absolutely nothing that Bruce himself taught him, that Dick already came to Gotham with, and its what ACTUALLY enabled Dick to survive the lifestyle and spotlight that Bruce’s lifestyle and spotlight made Dick grow up in. Its what enables Dick to handle the pressures of leadership and get along so well with his various teammates, coordinate dissenting personalities well enough to create teams that are famous for how well they gel and work together in battle no matter what they’re like when interacting in civilian arenas. Bruce, for all his skills, is notoriously not a people person. He knows how to manage people. He struggles with understanding them. And this has always been where in comparison to Bruce, Dick soars.

He didn’t learn any of what he knows about being a people person from Bruce. But he sure as hell learned it SOMEWHERE.

And I think that somewhere is in the circus, with his parents and whatever other various babysitters he picked up things along the way from. A kid as friendly and outgoing as Dick would have been soaking things up from all the circus performers like a sponge, I bet. Little tips and tricks of the trade from not just the knife-throwers, as is occasionally referenced….but also the fortune teller and ringmaster and clowns and magicians and escape artists. A couple dozen varieties of different masters of their own crafts, with one thing in common of all of them….all their crafts rely on performing. On reading an audience, even audiences of one. And selling that audience exactly what they’re looking for from that performance.

Let’s not forget that for all Dick’s insecurities and self-esteem issues as an adult….those almost unilaterally exist in regards to his family and closest friends. For the same reasons as he struggles with these things with Bruce….because they’re not great at showing Dick the respect and appreciation he needs from THEM, SPECIFICALLY….in the forms he would recognize, the forms he was raised since birth to receive and recognize as such, when his parents and circus family gave him these things.

Outside matters pertaining to just his family and closest friends, however, Dick is not remotely insecure. There’s a huge chasm between the former and the latter, in terms of how Dick acts and conducts himself. And its probably a large part of why Dick is so adept at not giving away to his family that he’s more in need of their acknowledgment and support than they realize….because Dick spends so MUCH of his life genuinely not giving a shit what most people think about him or say about him….he’s that much more proficient at wearing that as a mask when interacting even with his family of detectives, who are pretty good at reading even him in a lot of other aspects.

Because I maintain that Dick absolutely endured a hell of a lot of classism and racism growing up, and still does….which is not okay no matter how well he endures it….but he for the most part clearly doesn’t let this constant barrage effect his general self-esteem, and that is fairly important to note. Just as is the fact that like….he calls himself Dick, by his own choice, because its more important to him that he hold on to what he can of his parents, every last physical reminder he has available to him….and thus I think its especially shitty to write his second family using his parents’ fond nickname for him as a joke or insult, and probably hurts Dick when they do it….but the rest of the time? The general public making him a punchline for it? Dick could give a fuck. Same with general opinions of his costumes and what he looked like as Robin or early Nightwing, etc, etc.

Dick Grayson is not an insecure person overall….and that I credit entirely to his first parents, the Graysons.

All of this feeds into that overall awareness of body language, reading people for emotional cues and ways to survive a lifetime in the spotlight without being consumed by it…and without alienating people in the process, because a performer needs an audience, and growing up in a circus taught Dick early on that he had to find a way to end these encounters with asshole patrons in a way that kept his head held high but DIDN’T cost the circus - his family - their patronage in the future.

(Another reason I maintain Dick’s oh so infamous temper has been vastly more inflated than fits either canon evidence of it OR his overall characterization…..a man who has been raised from birth in the spotlight and constantly exposed to people who look down on him….like, KNOWS how to control his temper. I’m sorry, he just does, lol. This is basic understanding of human awareness. If your entire life is in one spotlight or another, be it the circus then Wayne Manor and Page Six, as well as being one of the most focused on superheroes in the entire cape community….and you’re somehow overall regarded in all public perceptions as charming….you do NOT have an infamous temper. You just don’t. People love to shove public figures off their pedestals whenever possible….and in both his civilian and superhero personas, Dick Grayson is on very high pedestals. There is no way in hell his general reputation in any of his communities would be anything close to what it is if he actually has as short and nasty of a temper as people love to spin him as having, because of a dozen scenes taken mostly out of context, over the course of 80 years as a high profile character. I’ll stop harping on this one when it stops being the first thing to come to mind when people cite a ‘flaw’ of his.)

Going back to reasons for him to have such a mastery of body language in his own right….Dick was also raised from birth to do his routines as part of a TROUPE, a group of athletes, not just singular by himself. Thus, a TON of what he was raised practicing every day….would have included reading his family’s body language for cues on what to do next. Watching for signs that something might be wrong or off even just by a second and requiring that he adjust his own movements to compensate for that, when they’re all fifty feet in the air and with the crowd cheering so loudly they couldn’t possibly communicate with words….this could literally be a matter of life and death for a troupe of performers whose reputation hinged on them being death-defying in their stunts. 

Yes, in most continuities its stressed that his parents didn’t let Dick perform the most dangerous routines with them yet, due to his age…..but that doesn’t mean they weren’t preparing him for them as early as humanly possible, given that its never too early to start working on various skills that are integral to these kinds of things. 

And with one of the most fundamental and essential skills needed to be part of a group of performers who excel at dangerous routines being communication, this is all the more reason to think they were probably teaching Dick from a very young age to pick up on body language and watch for even the slightest hints of different indicators of stress, fatigue, anxiety, fear, etc. 

Because compensating for something going wrong with a partner’s part of a routine can be essential in matters of teamwork. (Again, just gotta give a shout out to the Flying Graysons here, because its not stated enough that everything Dick knows about being a solo vigilante, he learned from Bruce, but everything he knows about teamwork is either instinctive or built in, OR learned from his parents, part of a team). And most of the time, when we’re talking about shifting position just enough while fifty feet above a crowd in order to make a catch of a partner that launched with not quite enough momentum or is overshooting their mark….compensating or cheating one’s own routine just enough to be there for your partner is the kind of thing that needs to happen in a SPLIT-SECOND…..like, with you making the adjustment the micro-second you realize its necessary….which means you have to be picking up the slightest hint of it the second it shows up in their body language, like a….what’s the word…oh yeah. A pro.

And given that these acrobats were all performers as much as athletes, with it being a given that their performances needed to appear as light and carefree at possible at all times, for the sake of the crowd….they couldn’t afford to give away obvious tells of anxiety, stress or exhaustion, had to keep a performer’s mask of total poise and control at all times throughout their routines….which makes it all the more likely Dick’s own ability to read body language and instinctive or hidden cues is exceptional….as he had to be trained from early on to be able to see behind those masks and read his parents and family for tells even while they were doing their professional best to keep those very tells hidden so that nobody would pick up on them…unless they were a master of reading such things.

So all in all, I believe that among however many languages Dick Grayson was taught from a very early age as part of a globe-trotting circus….one of those was body language itself, even if it was never actually couched in those terms, as though it were an actual language being taught the way it was regarded as such for Cass….as for Dick and his family, it was probably just regarded as tools of the trade, a necessary component of the performer and acrobat toolbox Dick was raised familiarizing himself with from as early as he began walking and talking.

Which brings us back to Cassandra…..as stated, I think Dick is exceptional at reading body language, with as much mastery of that as is possible at peak human potential…..but, that doesn’t make him the equal of Cass, whose own skills in that regard are beyond even that, due to the precise and comic book nature of her own origin. And how her father did something similar but for totally different reasons and no regard whatsoever for Cassandra’s well-being.

So I don’t think there’s any reason that Dick being the next best at reading and reacting to body language takes anything away from Cass being the undisputed master of that, and interpreter of the Batfamily’s hidden emotional cues.

In fact, allowing Dick to be acknowledged as adept at reading body language benefits her character….as she’s so often solely used as the interpreter of the emotionally stunted Batfamily’s attempted repression of their emotional cues. Basically just being treated as a plot device rather than a character in her own right.

As much as I project onto Dick and thus talk about fandom’s neglect of various facets of his character, it can’t be denied that the same is true of Cass….times ten.

Fanfics spend WAY more time using Cass to establish or well, tattle on various Batfamily members’ emotions than they spend on giving Cass emotions of her own in regards to whatever situation is going on in a given scene.

 And since Dick is so often used as the family mediator or peacemaker anyway, this doesn’t actually change anything about his own role in things….it merely supplies a concrete reason for why he so often is defaulted into that position, and so good at it, despite his family’s overall emotional constipation. He has to be amazing not just at teamwork, but reading hidden emotions as well, in order to manage his family and their various arguments even just as well as he does already.

(Just a quick clarification…earlier when I noted that Dick’s own insecurities largely stem from the Batfamily and not always knowing or trusting where he stands with them….its not that he has no ability to read them despite their own very well crafted performer masks. Its just that as good as he is, he’s still never going to be as good at this as Cassandra is, and there’s still going to be things he misses, or things he misinterprets. And additionally, the problem remains, that he shouldn’t HAVE to glean any hints of familial love, respect and appreciation from his family’s body language. When he’s constantly relying on subtext and body language to reassure himself that they really do love and appreciate him, its inevitable that sooner or later self-doubts and second guessing are going to start to creep in. So its not that Dick doesn’t ever see these things in his family’s body language. Its that over time, I believe this has progressed to the point where even when he sees these cues, he second guesses himself as to whether he’s actually seeing things that are there, or just seeing what he wants to see. And since none of them are exactly making a point to validate what he sees or thinks he sees with actual validation in indisputable forms, like verbal confirmation of this…eventually, Dick’s own skills reading body language become irrelevant here, since he himself is aware he’s an unreliable narrator when trying to narrate what his family’s body language is saying. He wants it to be saying all the things he uses to assuage whatever hurt he feels for not hearing them tell him these things…thus he’s too aware of his own bias when reading them for cues to actually trust any of the cues he reads, that could otherwise confirm this.)

Anyway. So acknowledging or even emphasizing Dick’s own exceptional abilities with body language would actually be to Cassandra’s benefit, I maintain. Because without expecting anything of Dick that isn’t already expected of him and his role in canon and fandom, it merely provides additional support for the idea he’s good at playing family mediator even with as emotionally repressed most of their family is. Thus freeing up Cass from constantly being looked to as the interpreter for all the things most of their family have trouble saying….and allowing for more focus to be paid to her own emotions. And letting her HAVE them, in the first place.

Because we have to talk about the elephant in the room here: racism in regards to Cass. The quiet, stoic, normally serene and beatific Asian martial arts master is a racist as hell trope, and its one that makes all too frequent an appearance when Cass is used at all in fics. AND canon.

Its not that Cass can’t be all those things at various times. Its that they can’t be ALL that she is. At ALL times. (And that, for the record, she’s not usually ANY of those things in canon that actually tries to develop her rather than use her as a one-note trope in its own right. Cassandra Cain…serene? LOLOL. Please, I don’t know who you’re talking about, but it ain’t the Cass I know and love).

First of all, give her a sense of humor, because she has one, and its amazing. You’ll note I make a point whenever I write her to emphasize her having a kind of dry, sardonic wit that is not at all opposed at being at her siblings’ expense, lol. I mean, its not like that’s the only take possible on her, or even just her sense of humor, I just mean…have one. Humor is one of the most telling representatives of a person’s characterization. By that I mean, a person’s sense of humor is one of the things we most initially associate with them in our mind, and a character having a distinct sense of humor is one of the easiest and best ways to develop them as having their own character voice, something that marks them as distinct in your awareness from other characters. Where if you close your eyes and picture them in a scene, what comes out when they talk, like, to make a joke….isn’t interchangeable with just any other character. It sounds or feels like them, specifically.

And just FYI, you might have an easier time writing Cass making jokes if you allow her to form full sentences. She can speak English, has been written speaking English quite well in the past, and the insistence on broken English when writing her that way in canon is shitty and racist in and of itself anyway, so those particular takes on her don’t need to be respected let alone emulated in fanfiction. Let Cass Speak English In Complete Sentences 2KForever. She’ll still be Cass, I promise you. But the changes made to her brain in canon that allowed her to finally learn spoken languages years after her brain had finished developing, like, that happened early enough after Cass’ debut that there’s really no excuse for writing fic where she’s been part of the family for years and still hasn’t picked up a strong grasp of English. 

Y’know how I’m always saying the entire Batfamily are ALL Mary Sues, they are a family of Mary Sues, that is pretty much their high concept as a group, that they’re a composite of the most otherwise competent people in the world and completely emotionally incompetent at the same time? Like, it applies here, because as I also harp on a lot about, I think all of the Batfamily are actual literal geniuses, and I do mean all. Cassandra included. She’s a master of her own many areas of expertise and thus IMO more than capable of picking up languages fairly quickly once the canon barrier to her doing that earlier in life is removed. It just looks and sounds weird and suspect, to insist on writing her as never moving past broken English, IMO. 

And also, like, she doesn’t need to ever be as talkative as Steph, nor do I think would it fit her to be written that way either, but there’s a very wide range of options between that and hardly ever talking at all. I do think she defaults to being one of the more quiet ones in a room, as in one of the last to speak….but give her reasons to be that way, instead of just more imitation of our media’s racist insistence on treating Asian characters as the quiet, all-knowing keepers of sage wisdom who only share their truths once you’ve made the trek up to their mountain top. 

So again just in terms of my own personal take, I tend to write Cass as being one of the last to speak up when around people she’s not as familiar with, because its her version of keeping her back to the wall of a room so no one can sneak up behind and surprise her. She’s only quiet at first in my stuff because focusing on using conversations to glean as much information as she can about the people in them before jumping in is just like, a form of intel-gathering for her and her past left her with a tendency to be as overly cautious in her own way as the rest of her family, and this is what her way looks like. 

(Dick puts on his performer’s mask, Jason blusters and leads with bravado, Damian adopts a position of superiority and will only climb down once you sufficiently peak his interest, Tim recites facts and trivia and likes to bore people he dislikes into submission so you give up and go away, Duke is the family member who really makes friends so easily that any time he makes enemies, his friends have already plotted to destroy you before Duke even gets around to trying to do that himself, Babs has already hacked your bank account and credit rating by the time you open your mouth and thus feels no social anxiety whatsoever as worst comes to worst, she can always just tank your credit score to make herself feel better, and upon meeting you for the first time, Steph either adopts you or punches you in the throat, depending on which way her gut is leaning. As for Bruce, well. He’s terrified of pretty much all social settings, but he’d have to actually admit to that for the first time in recorded human history before anyone could actually cite what ‘his way’ of dealing with social interactions he’s wary of might be. I mean, its basically just ‘Brucie’, but you get what I mean.)

So I mean, its not inherently bad to write Cass as being quieter than the rest of her siblings, and you don’t need her quoting Shakespeare back and forth with Jason in order to prove you’re not writing her speaking broken English. Its just. Do some digging in her head before settling in and writing what you’ve found there. Actually TRY getting in her head in the first place. Spruce it up a bit, redecorate your surroundings, make it feel lived in and homey. Give it CHARACTER. Whenever you write a character choice, in my personal opinion, you should, if asked, be able to back up that character choice by having a reason you feel the character would choose that. 

For me, I write Cass being the quietest of her siblings in social settings simply because she’s doing recon first, and of her various skillsets, spoken language is the one she’s mastered most recently and thus she has the least familiarity with….and thus is the last thing she turns to in any given situation, because she’d rather go down the list and run through every other skill she has to see if it could apply here, before resigning herself to having to converse with the person in front of her because she doesn’t think Bruce would accept “I didn’t know how else to change the subject” as a justification for stabbing someone in a non-vital and easily healed location that had the fringe benefit of rapid bloodloss leading to them passing out fairly quickly.

And of course, none of this applies with Batfamily, because she is comfortable with her family for the most part, and thus when I write her being the most quiet in those group scenes, its because she prefers listening their just purely because she finds her siblings’ antics entertaining. And also because I view her as being as batshit competitive as the rest of them, so IMO she’s always plotting the perfect conversational one-hit KO to have at the ready before she wades in. Because in the Batfamily, even ordinary conversations are something you can and should win. Otherwise, what’s even the point? LOL.

Also in terms of my own stuff, I tend to write Cass and Tim as having very similar forms of wit, and my personal take on them is that they both have just slightly different degrees of that same dry, sardonic kind of commentary, as their primary display of humor. This doesn’t necessarily always match their canon characterizations and how they display humor there - but its due to the fact that they’re two of the characters canon most rarely allows to show a sense of humor in recent years, and it tends to be all over the place more often than not. This is a major departure from how they both were portrayed in the 90s, where Tim’s humor was much more consistently in line with what I’m describing…and thus, so was Cassandra’s, when she debuted and developed her own primary characterization. 

So basically, I consider Tim to be a major influence on Cass’ humor….or more accurately, in the shape her own sense of humor more commonly takes. Because it was with and around Tim that Cass first started to pick up a lot of social cues and explore her own sense of self for pretty much the first time in her life. 

Stephanie’s humor, by contrast is a lot more loud and gregarious and in your face….which when you put the three of them in scene together as a trio, like they once spent a lot of time as, positions her as an extremely different version of the ‘straight man’ to their comedic duo. Because Steph doesn’t need anyone to back up or appreciate her own humor, she’s already landing the punchlines way before anyone else has even had time to think of any, and she doesn’t care what the reception is, the lovable loudmouth goof that she is. Which allows for Cass and Tim to sigh behind her and exchange sidelong glances and kinda….narrate her theatrics in that ‘faces the camera like they’re on The Office’ sort of way, which I mean, I personally find hilarious when they do it, and she’s not remotely bothered by, because like, she’s fucking hilarious and anyone who doesn’t get that is simply wrong and needs to be pitied, if you ask her.

Anyway, that’s just why my own depictions of Cass and Tim share a lot of their humor in common and some of their other characteristics….they’re the ones Cass either consciously or unconsciously picked up from Tim, as he was one of the first people for her to genuinely feel comfortable around and thus someone she trusted to both have knowledge of and mastery over the various social cues she was now finding she needed to learn because of her new environments. 

(Of course, this is one of the times where Cass was dead wrong about something, IMO, as she might have overestimated Tim’s mastery of certain specific social cues and her body-language reads have her aware people aren’t responding her own attempts at mimicking them in the way she’s fairly confident they should be, and she’s not sure what she’s doing wrong there. Oh well. She’s still better off than if she’d picked Bruce to emulate there. When she asked him, he’d stiffened and radiated such intense discomfort, even Steph froze in mid-ramble as she sensed it on even the complete opposite side of the Cave.)

ANYWAY. Wrapping up THAT particular tangent and cycling back around to Dick and Cass having skill with reading body language in common….I think this could also be a huge opportunity to write Dick having a dynamic with Cass that’s unique to just the two of them and distinct from the dynamics they have with the rest of their family. Not to give them a super special bond but just because I mean, all the sibling dynamics between the various individual Batkids should ideally have their own flavor, because nobody interacts with two different siblings in the same way. Each sibling is their own unique individual, and thus should have their own unique dynamic when interacting with them.

So I like to headcanon Dick and Cass in private being the family gossips. They love dishing on the rest of the family with just each other….and being the two most skilled at seeing behind their family’s masks (and thus what their family most wants to keep hidden, to varying degrees), they have more dirt on everyone else than most intelligence agencies have on their nations’ enemies. Of course, they’re both staunchly moral, so they would never ever use their powers here for evil, or to hurt or embarrass their family.

They would, however, occasionally indulge in snickers and giggles about it behind closed doors. Look, shut up, they’re BONDING, they have childhood trauma, its fine.

And if Cassandra’s superior skills with body language means she inevitably has more gossip to share with Dick than vice versa, that’s okay, she’s still more than happy to share. He’s the one who introduced her to the joys of gossip, after all, so if anyone’s entitled to it, its him.

I also headcanon that because they’re both the best at reading body language, there are occasions when in group environments or just at the dinner table with the whole family, they both happen to pick up on certain cues or be aware that a sibling is lying through their teeth about something or being full of shit, and then catch each other’s eye and give the faintest of eye rolls or ‘can you believe they’re falling for this.’ Which sometimes other siblings catch, because Cass and Dick have forgotten to be subtle about it. Or did they not forget anything, and are just being trolls and instigating shit for the giggles? Who can say. Probably just them, which they find quite fun.

In fact, its slightly possible that the rest of the family, ever since Cass joined them, have developed a slightly inflated estimation of Dick’s own skills with reading body language, and now credit him with more of a mastery of it than even he actually possesses. 

See, I have this one headcanon that every now and then, just to mess with their family, Dick and Cass make a point to hold a silent conversation in front of them. You know that thing people who know each other really well do with just their eyes, like managing to convey certain impressions to each other just by being expressive enough in ways and about things they’re pretty sure the other person will get and be on the same wavelength about?

Yeah, that, but Cass and Dick do it without exaggerated facial expressions. And for like. Ten whole minutes. Meanwhile, Tim’s like: “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not buying any of this” and then determinedly ignoring them. Jason’s annoyed because he can’t actually ever seem to ignore them, and then this builds into something like: “You guys better not be talking about me behind my back. Or I mean, right in front of my face. Whatever. And you definitely better not be talking about Tim right in front of his face and not including me!” Steph just keeps continuing on with whatever she’s doing, entirely unbothered, because she knows if they’re actually communicating anything important (or even slightly of interest to her), she’s sure she can get Cass to tell her later. And she’s not wrong, of course. Duke just shakes his head and feels better about being slightly jealous due to how funny it is watching it get under everyone else’s skin, but in the name of not feeling left out, he joins in on shit-talking Dick and Cass in order to have Vengeance. “B, didn’t you ever teach them its rude to exclude people from your conversation? You know, some people would say its never to late to ground your children.”

Damian, by stark contrast to the rest, completely abandons whatever else he’s doing to watch them both as intently as he can for as long as they persist. As he’s probably third in line behind the two of them when it comes to instinctive grasp of body language, due to the whole ‘being raised to read/scan others for as much information as possible just from their movements. Y’know. In case you have to kill them.’ In his case, his full grasp of it was hindered by seemingly being taught to dismiss certain specific emotions as irrelevant or a weakness, and though Dick and the rest of the family have by now done a pretty good job at getting him slowly but surely past all of that, its like retraining himself, trying to consciously now pick up on cues that he spent a decade discarding and moving past the second he saw them. 

But he’s determined to become as adept at reading body language now as even Grayson is, at least, even if his implicit acceptness that he’ll never have the same mastery their sister does is fully internalized and something he’ll never admit to, even on pain of death. Both Dick and Cass have at various times offered to help him with it, but he refuses as a point of pride….he wants to do it himself. So every time they have one of these ‘conversations’ in front of the family, he drops everything else he does and scrutinizes them for the whole thing like he’s a codebreaker sure that in time, he’ll crack the code and all its secrets will be revealed. (Mostly, its more like he dreams of the day he’s become good enough at it that he and Dick can hold silent conversations like this and he can rub it in Drake’s face. Hah! It will be glorious, Internal Damian insists).

Even Bruce himself isn’t entirely sure whether or not Dick and Cass are fully communicating the whole time they converse like this, or just faking it for funsies. It frustrates him to no end that he’s yet to figure out a way to just…ask them, without giving away that he doesn’t actually already know the answer, and that’s BUGGING THE CRAP OUT OF HIM, C’MON!!

(Of course, both Dick and Cass have fully picked up on his frustration and thus realized he’s as clueless as the rest of the family, and its this precise thing that they spend most of these ‘conversations’ silently giggling about to each other).

And in terms of fleshing Cass out…..part of what frustrates me so much about the excuse people give for focusing on certain negative fanon takes on Dick, that its done to make him more interesting, because no one’s perfect….

Its never been that this claim, in and of itself, is untrue. The problem I’ve always had with it is they add in ‘flaws’ in the name of making Dick more realistic, while at the same time ignoring plenty of material that’s already present in Dick’s character…but which focusing on, would require people spend more time and insight on him than they want to. Just making Dick angry and ‘remind people he has a temper’ is quick and easy, in comparison.

However, the other part of why this claim bugs me so much is because it IS valid and applies to fanon’s two dimensional takes of two other characters….who are never written with any kind of flaws which is part of why they come across as fairly superficial in a lot of works. And that’s Duke and Cass. When they show up at all, their usage is VERY superficial, and like….I don’t think I’ve ever read something with either of them, where they were written having a conflict with another member of the family, other than just sometimes Cass not liking Jason because of his stance on killing. (And usually this is in Jason-centric fics, so its not really in the name of fleshing out Cass so much as making Jason more misunderstood and Cass the bad guy for not respecting that okay he kills people, but only because he’s very sad, she should be able to see that, ugh have a heart).

So, I also headcanon there is a slightly negative dynamic between Dick and Cass specifically, albeit one Dick himself is not aware of. 

(And also complicated by the fact that as much as I gripe about Dick being perceived as having negative dynamics with the rest of his siblings that are all his fault, Cass is the ONE sibling this is ACTUALLY true of, even if it was only really in one story, Redemption Road. I go into that in more depth in another meta, but long story short it was after she was brainwashed by Deathstroke and killed because he made her, and Dick was written as wary and untrusting of her return, not because he didn’t like her - they’d already spent a lot of time in years before this bonding - but rather because he didn’t trust that they could be totally sure the brainwashing was gone yet, and thought Bruce was being too relaxed about that. I maintain this is a callback to his own issues with that time he was brainwashed by Brother Blood and people were a lot less great at understanding in the aftermath that a lot of his choices hadn’t been his to actually make, and that there was bitterness here on his part for Cass getting the understanding and support from Bruce that we never saw Dick get when it was him in a similar position. Kinda a Prodigal Son type vibe. But point being, this was a brief period and it didn’t last, but it is there so there’s interesting potential to have Dick and Cass not DISLIKE each other by any means, but just at times be slightly uncomfortable around each other and trying their best to hide it...from the one other person in the family most capable of/likely to pick up on it).

So what I think it is on Cass’ part, the discomfort/slight ‘not quite sure how I feel about this’ aspect of things.... Like, its just a headcanon, and one where in my head she’s put a lot of effort into making sure he never ever picks up on this particular thing from her. Because she’s not proud of it. At all.

Even if pride is really the problem. 

See, I’ve long believed that out of the entire Batclan, Dick is the only person who can ever beat Cass in a fight. Even compared to Bruce.

And to be clear, its not like Dick can always beat Cass. Or even often. At most, its still maybe like, two fights out of ten. And its not deliberate, like something he can do or capitalize on consciously.

But for someone like Cass, who otherwise is pretty much undefeated unless she’s going up against her own mother, Lady Shiva….even two fights out of ten is a lot.

And it bugs her, more than she cares to admit.

Because she is as competitive in her own ways as the rest of her family. She does have her own ego about certain things, like everyone else does. And David Cain, monster that he was, raised her to be the best there is, at one thing and one thing only: fighting. As much as she hates him, as much as she hates her childhood and what was done to her, how much she missed out on and the things she still feels left out for not understanding or grasping the way she thinks she should…..alongside all that has always been at least an awareness that at least there is one thing that came out of it: she is the best. Absent her mother, who one day she will fully and consistently surpass, everyone including Lady Shiva believes…as much as Cass hates her father and everything he did to her and why, she’s still at times taken a certain sort of pride in her skills in fighting. At least in that one slight respect, even if its not something she would have chosen, had she ever been given a choice….at least it had worked, had done what it’d been intended to.

Except for when it comes to Dick. Who will probably always be able to beat her, maybe two times out of ten. No matter how much more she grows in her skills. There’s that one or two times every now and then, where it will always be a toss-up, as likely to go to him as to her.

And its not something that Dick’s even aware of giving him a specific edge when it comes to fighting her, and its not something he could capitalize on even if he were aware of it.

See, as much as fighting is second nature to Cass, as instinctive as breathing…it goes hand in hand with her ability to read body language. That’s her edge, the one variable that no one else can compete with or match her on, the thing that will always put her in a class of her own…..the one result of specific training that was crafted specifically to create this one result.

You can’t separate Cassandra’s fighting prowess from her ability to read body language. They are one and the same, even if she can use the latter for other things too, and even if her fighting prowess isn’t JUST due to her ability to read body language. Which its not, by any means. BUT, regardless, she can’t train herself out of a reliance on body language while fighting….especially not to fight one person in specific, her own brother, and even there pretty much just out of pride.

Because the slight advantage Dick has over everyone else when facing her, is that like her, he’s one of the only fighters out there who was trained from birth to have an almost inhuman mastery of his own body, to be at the peak of human capability in specific regards. Even though his training wasn’t at all in the arena of fighting, at least not before he was taken in by Bruce. For Dick as well as Cass, there are certain things that are so fundamental to him, so ingrained into his movements because they were taught to him at the same time as he was taught to walk, the one being every bit as natural as the other.

And acrobatics was only one of these things. Performing was the other.

Y’see, the one variable Cass can’t totally account for every single time she spars with Dick….is that Dick’s body lies.

Like I said earlier on….its not just reading body language that Dick was likely raised to do, albeit in different, less rigorous ways than Cass. He was also taught from an equally early age how to DISPLAY body language. Or rather, a specific kind of body language.

My headcanon is that because as early as he began learning acrobatics, Dick was taught acrobatics with an eye towards performing, specifically. Since that was what his family did. And the one thing performers like the Flying Graysons always, always have to do…is perform with a smile.

So it was probably drilled into Dick from an early age, even if it wasn’t couched in these terms or even consciously thought of in this specific way…..but while taught the fundamental components of a flip, breaking it down into each individual micro-movement expected of his body in order to achieve the optimal flip for performing in front of a crowd…..one of those micro-movements, for Dick…was a smile.

Its as fundamental to his acrobatics as every other command his conscious AND subconscious mind sends to the various muscle groups he uses in his routines and now in his fighting even. I think its a large part of why quips and banter and grins are so intrinsic to his fighting as well. He doesn’t KNOW how to be anything else. Bruce probably tried to train it out of him before realizing or accepting that focusing on just making Dick not smile while backflipping over an opponent was detrimental, if not merely just unnecessary. Its just second nature to Dick, as much as reading body language is to Cass. 

His own training from the time he could walk, put just as much emphasis on ensuring that no matter how he felt during a performance, no matter how exhausted he was or how stressed, whether he was having a bad day or was just cranky or mad at his parents or mad about something someone in the crowd said or just didn’t feel like practicing his routines today….he did it all with a smile, an easy, effortless grin, as though he was lighter than air and nothing he did was taking a toll on his body, it was all equally effortless.

Combine that with the fact that for Dick, because of what his training was FOR….because it was all done in the name of being with his family, being like his family, it was so he could do what nobody else could do, so he could fly….unlike Cass, Dick’s early training instilled in him an intrinsic pairing of movement and joy. To him, movement IS joy. Its essential to his core, to who he is. 

Where other people see him throwing in unnecessary flips to his fighting to show off, Dick’s always just grinned and shrugged his shoulders at this, unable to explain what’s not even a matter of conscious thought….to him, saying he added an unnecessary flip is like saying to someone else they took an unnecessary breath. He can understand what they’re saying….just like you can take note of taking an extra breath that you don’t really need…but he can’t link that to the ‘show off’ part of things anymore than you could understand someone accusing you of showing off for taking shorter, quicker breaths than you need to. 

Because Dick doesn’t throw in unnecessary acrobatics while fighting because he wants to show off, IMO. Who is he showing off for? The people he’s fighting? Why on earth would they be more impressed by him doing an extra fancy flip than they would just by virtue of knowing his reputation as a fighter and seeing it proven true as he kicked their ass? No, I think he does it because he’s not even thinking about it, and he certainly can’t think of a reason not to. Its just what he does. Flipping out of the way of an incoming punch in such a way as to make that flip as aesthetically appealing as it is functional, is every bit as instinctive to Dick as every other part of the flip.

Because that’s WHY he was trained to do all this. That’s what its for. Not fighting and superheroics. Those are what he adapted it to do. First and foremost, it was done, taught to him, perfected by him…..so he could fly. And show everybody just how much he loved doing that, when you get right down to it. Because he loves being able to do that. For Dick, the heights he can reach are his higher power, and every single movement he makes is like an individual prayer given in thanks of the gift given to him, that enables him to do that in ways nobody else can match.

But in terms of fighting, and in terms of body language that Cass reads on an equally unconscious level….this has the unexpected and accidental side effect where every so often…Dick’s body lies. At least, I imagine that’s how Cass would describe it, if she ever put it into words for someone. Because he links his joy, his happiness and pleasure at being able to do the acrobatics he does with the movements themselves, because its so ingrained in him to do it all with a smile, to sell for the crowd that its all done with the greatest of ease, and because its inevitable that on some basic level, there are some flips or techniques that the mere act of doing brings to mind - even just his subconscious - memories he associates with that movement, that are largely, more often than not, pleasurable memories….Dick’s body language every so often doesn’t quite read the way everyone else’s does. The way Cass expects it to, knows how to interpret.

And this is nothing deliberate on his part. Nothing he could capitalize on, even if Cass did ever tell him what it reads like from her perspective. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t train himself to use this to his advantage in fights against Cass, any more than Bruce for all his mastery of his body, can effectively train himself to not broadcast certain body language tells when sparring with Cass. Because Bruce’s training, as extensive and intense as it was, and as he commits himself to it, still only started later in life. When his movements and how they pair with each other and his emotional states, they were already set in stone. Because those things go deeper than conscious control….even if Bruce made an effort to hide his next punch from Cass, she’d see the indicators of him preparing to deceive and adapt just as instinctively.

But Dick, because his training began as early and was so 24/7 in its own way as Cassandra’s, when they were both just learning their basic fundamentals and their body was building connections between their muscle movements and emotions they felt when using each precise combination of each specific muscles to achieve each specific end result….with Dick, the times his body language misleads Cass is as unconscious as breathing to him, as instinctive as every other of these movements, and the urge to smile while doing it. He’s not aware of doing it, couldn’t consciously command himself to do it more without giving that away in micro-expressions in his face….but its there, nonetheless. Because its not like it was done or trained into him in order to lie to Cass or someone like her….that’s just an unanticipated side-effect. It was done for one reason only: to make even the most rigorous of efforts look as effortless as skipping.

And it being that instinctive is WHY Cass occasionally falls for it, every now and again. Even when she tries to prepare for it sometimes. Because its like a lie spoken in her own first language. Every so often, she misreads how exhausted or worn out he is while in the middle of a spar, because Dick’s body language while flipping around so often reads as easy, light-hearted, happy. None of the things associated with being on the verge of his legs giving out, even if they are. And every now and again, a punch catches her off guard, because its not telegraphed in any of the normal ways, his body language is too focused on what’s coming after the punch, the preparation to make a leap or a vault that its particularly excited for, that always paired with anticipation, from as early as he could attempt it. Every once in awhile she fails to capitalize on a moment of weakness he has or an injury he’s nursing…because she’s missed the signs for it, its so buried deep beneath the performance mask he was trained to wear specifically while continuing through a routine even while feeling an ache or pain in that particular muscle group.

Even if no one else entirely knows why, Dick can beat Cass every once in awhile, even more often than Bruce can. Because the LESS Dick focuses his conscious thoughts, the MORE instinctive he makes his movements, basically when he MOST relies on just muscle memory and lets his body take over on autopilot, trusting it to get him safely through a fight while his conscious mind and troubles might be otherwise distracting him…..that’s when Cass has the hardest time reading him reliably. Because when he gets like that, everything else vanishes. Its like no other emotions exist for him. Even while being otherwise miserable or unhappy or grieving or tired….when he just lets go and trusts his body to do what its been trained to do so often and extensively its just pure instinct at this point….all of her brother’s movements at that point just sing. The brutality of a fight gets lost in the beauty of his acrobatics, even on the very same level and in the very language she most relies on…because they were meant to be ‘spoken’ even that bone-deep, they were meant to look like and indicate pure joy of movement in even the most primal of languages.

On a certain level, Cassandra has always been the least surprised of any of their family, why people like Deathstroke and the Court of Owls and countless other villains have always been so intent, so focused on making Dick specifically turn to their side, become one of them…become a killer. She understands the draw they feel towards him perfectly, probably even better than they do. Because the language these villains speak most naturally is violence. And her eldest brother takes violence and makes it art.

And even villains are drawn to art that speaks to them in a language they can understand.

So, even though she doesn’t want it to, even though it shouldn’t bother her, even though it ultimately doesn’t even matter that much….it bothers Cass, a little bit. That Dick has just enough of an x-factor in sparrings specific to just the two of them, that no matter how much Cass tries to adjust for it, she can still be thrown or fooled as easily as anyone else can fall for a lie spoken in a shared language. Its actually probably for the best that her own unique form of Kryptonite belongs to none other than her very own big brother, protective to a fault. Someone who would never hurt her.

Except…

Even with all that, she can’t help herself. Every once in awhile, she looks at Dick and can’t help but be wary. She doesn’t like having a potential blindspot she knows full well is there and can’t do a damn thing about. She doesn’t like that it bugs her so much either, but it does. She doesn’t like that the fighting and body-language reading that are the end results of her father’s abuse have become in different ways just enough of points of pride that she finds her pride pricked at the reminder she’s still fallible. Still human. Can still be fooled, even if unintentionally, even if not that often. 

Because given the price she paid - that she never asked to pay, never was asked if she WANTED to pay it - to be so foolproof, at least where everyone else is concerned, she at least wished the damn training had worked as intended, instead of one specific monkey wrench her father hadn’t accounted for. All because who was prepared for an acrobatic vigilante who’s happy and gleeful on a primal level even when fighting for his life, because his body can’t help but be glad it can fly?

So she fights that feeling down any time it arises, becomes all the more determined for it not to create a wedge between her and the big brother she honestly adores and she knows honestly adores her too.

But sometimes when he smiles at her, Cass hates the way she is. What it makes her. Because all of them by now are used to people like the Court constantly trying to repurpose Dick, turn him against everything he holds dear. And each time everyone else is reminded of that, they turn to cast glances at Cass, without even thinking about it. They’re all just as aware of Dick’s own fighting prowess, after all. And how deadly he could be if he ever put his mind to it and set aside his morality.

She knows full well that if that ever happened, if any villain ever did manage to get their hooks in deep, she’s the one it would ultimately fall to. The Break Glass in Case of Emergency, Plan Z, final failsafe. She was who they would sic on the big brother that’s always drawn the darkness like moths to his flickering flame.

And she alone nurses the knowledge that if it ever came to that….she’s not quite as certain as the rest of their family, that she could infallibly win.

It bothers her more than she can say, more than she will ever dare say….that one of her greatest fears wears her doting eldest brother’s face.

Because if the Court of Owls ever did make a Talon of him for real, there’s no one who could sink a fatal blade past her guard more easily than he. She might never see it coming, too busy looking at him and seeing nothing but poetry instead.

Dick held her once while she came down from a lungful of Fear Toxin. Even as she shook the last of it from her system and looked at him with fresh, clear eyes again, she couldn’t help but flinch. He asked her what she’d seen while under its influence. She didn’t answer, and hated how sad he looked while covering up. No doubt thinking that it was because even now she didn’t trust him, her own family, wouldn’t let herself be completely vulnerable with them.

Still, she’s certain he would have looked far sadder if she’d told him the truth.

So each and every time her big brother’s body tells her a lie, she tells him one right back.

After all, the flip side of being the two best truthseers in the family, is there’s nobody better at being lie-tellers at the same time.

Who else is ever going to know?

[zelvyth]

 From a very young age it was reinforced that my ADHD was a disability I was meant to overcome rather than a tool I could use to better myself. I didn’t even know that I had been diagnosed, and that my mother had chosen not to medicate me, until I was partway through highschool. By that point I had already begun to give up on ever truly “making it” in life. The hurdles I needed to overcome had demoralized me to the point of near total apathy. Between my sexuality and early coming out in a small town highschool, and my various mental health problems, I felt like no one in the world saw things from my point of view. The last blow to my self esteem came when my grade 12 english teacher, the true decider of fate to any young person, told me my final thesis on Lady Macbeth being one of the greatest example of the flaws in Machiavelli’s “The Prince” was brilliant, but due to formatting and scattered grammar issues, she could give me no higher than a 60%. After years of getting consistent high 90’s in my english classes as well as other subjects, I had failed this extremely crucial essay due to the idiosyncrasies of the most frustrating language known to humankind. I passed that class with a 68, and felt like my fate was sealed. No chance at getting into any University in the country without redoing 5 months of work because one person believed that following the rules was a more important indication of intelligence than original ideas and the ability to make an argument. It crushed me. I admit that I didn’t put in the effort, but I had spent my entire life being told I was incredibly intelligent. It was the one thing I held onto. I felt betrayed by the education system. Though it was also due to many other factors at the time, this contributed to the second of my four suicide attempts. Today, I reject that philosophy. 

    When a person with ADHD is thinking, they connect ideas in their heads much faster than the average person. It can be confusing and disorienting to the people around them. I constantly have to explain how I got from point A to point B because the points connect automatically in my head. It’s exhausting, so I frequently do not bother to try. It’s extremely helpful when crafting an argument, however it can be debilitating in many aspects of modern life. Things the average person doesn’t think about, can be crippling for me. Without a true passion towards something, my ability to focus becomes hazy and my thoughts become scattered. I spend the majority of the day stuck in my head having conversations with myself instead of doing “normal” things with my time. I have spent my life being told that ADHD is my weakness, today I can tell you with the utmost certainty that it is my greatest strength.

    When the international pandemic of the respiratory disease “Covid-19” truly began and the world went into full nationwide lockdown, the bistro that I had, for the most part, happily been employed at shut down. After 8 years of honing my culinary craft certain that my skills, though undervalued, would always be needed somewhere, I was out of a job. Indefinitely. So was most of the country that worked with their hands or, in some capacity, physically with other people. Unless you were able to conduct business through zoom conferences or were a suddenly “essential” employee like a fast food worker, you were left with little to do but sit and think or try desperately to distract yourself from the increasingly troubling world around you. Luckily, to my surprise, the conservative government had pledged to keep us all fed and watered as best they could. What deeply worried me was the knowledge that my friends south of the border, through no fault of their own, and already mostly furious with their government, were not being treated with the same bare minimum of respect. I knew it was a recipe for true disaster and widespread civil unrest as early as march.

    I watched while the culture of social media, at least from my own lgbt bias, slowly started to shift and I picked up a lot of the big picture through memes and personally shared anecdotes. Celebrities were being ripped apart as they tried to get our attention again from their huge mansions while people sat at home worried about how to feed their children. Using insensitive phrasing like “we’re all in this together” when they undeniably weren’t. It quickly became a social caste system. The desperately poor trying to creatively make money any way they could. The often needlessly endangered. And the upper class for whom, little had changed besides the inability to do whatever they want at any given time. The lines were very clearly drawn. While the rich bemoaned their accessibility to haircuts, the poor argued with landlords about rent. All the while another group was frequently paid minimum wage to work on the proverbial front lines; flipping hamburgers, being yelled at by the rich because you were out of everything with the supply chain so damaged, or literally saving peoples lives. The anger and frustration quickly took over nearly every form of social media. Subtly, but day by day it grew. There was only so much one could do from inside their apartments, and globally, the havenots found solace and comfort with one another. The narratives of meme culture, which had matured and specialized far beyond the early days of “lolcats” and “trollface” comics, became almost exclusively about mocking the rich and their inability to deal with slight inconveniences.

Nearly every month of 2020 was a new major nationwide crisis and people had little else to do but talk about it or ignore it. The year kicked off with serious threat of a third world war because Donald Trump was tweeting intentionally inflammatory remarks towards the fascist leader of North Korea. All while nearly the entire country of Australia was ravaged by forest/bush fire. January saw a clearly corrupt president unbelievably not be impeached. Sparking outrage among, in my humble opinion, any sane individual. This also exposed, to anyone who knew all the facts, that the systems to hold those in power accountable was clearly broken and corruptible. Towards the end of January, beloved basketball player Kobe Bryant died in a horrible helicopter accident involving his daughter. Late February leading into early March was when global fears over Coronavirus began to be taken extremely seriously by every government in the world, the exception being the United States and the Trump administration. By late April, the country had over a hundred thousand dead, and nearly a quarter of its population out of a job. The irony of this, is that the calls to reopen the country didn’t come from those that had lost their jobs, but the upper class that had grown restless deprived from their usual comforts. Meanwhile we openly mocked them on instagram, tumblr, and twitter. Trying desperately to make light of a horrible situation and bring at least a little levity to their lives. News that a new breed of dangerously fatal hornets had migrated to North America was derided as a filler episode. One of my personal favourite takes on the year as a whole so far was a comparison to the four horseman of the apocalypse. January representing War, February representing Pestilence, March representing Famine, and April representing Death. In fact a lot of meme culture started to take on an extremely apocalyptic vibe. The message for many was clear, and depressing.

Then things started to happen really fast, so fast that for many it would make your head spin looking at it from the outside. It began with a video featuring a white Canadian woman from Waterloo named Amy Cooper that went viral across the globe. In the Ramble area of Central Park in NYC, this woman was filmed by a clearly peaceful, yet insistent, black man named Christian Cooper, no relation, asking her to leash her dog. This is a bylaw of the area. The woman refused and began to become very distressed, roughly handling her dog by the collar. She started dailing 911 and accused the man of assaulting her to the dispatcher. What many understood about this act, and rightfully called her out in outrage over, is that she was using her knowledge of how police handle black people in America to threaten this mans life over leashing her dog. She has been fired, and the shelter has taken her dog back.

Two days later, as I was travelling to my family’s cottage to “get away from it all and unplug”, a friend sent me a snapchat video from Minneapolis. It was on fire. I immediately did everything I could to try to find out what had happened. That, is when I saw the video of 8 minutes and 46 seconds of a police officer with his knee on the neck of another human being. This did not shock, nor suprise me. I had followed the many accounts of police killing people on video since 2014 when I was 16. When the Ferguson protests over Michael Brown’s killing by police officers were broadcast over most of the developed world. I had seen little change, despite Barrack Obama being President. This continued to happen for the next 6 years, though there were no more protests. Some of the people of those original protests that started the Black Lives Matter Movement, went missing over the next several years. Mainly those that had been photographed.

George Floyd’s death, I feel, was the straw that broke the camels’ back. Which is how anyone who has personally experienced police mistreatment and injustice would understand watching that video. A societal contract had been broken. And Minneapolis started to burn down the city that would let this happen to their friend, their neighbour, their father, their brother, and most importantly, their son. The words that chilled me to my very core… And continue to make me cry when I think about. Continue to make me want to punch every cop I run into.The words that have caused me to continue having this argument every day with everyone I know. The words that make me want to scream and rage and burn that country to the ground….  “Mama”

In his dying breaths this man called out to his mother. Who had died 2 years earlier. Who could not come save him. The police officer casually, with his hands in his pockets, knowing he could get away with it, murdered that man while he called out for his dead mother. Suffocated him to death in the middle of a global pandemic driven by respiratory disease. If I had been in Minneapolis that night, I would have helped burn it to the ground.

Something I didn’t expect happened then. Something I didn’t expect when I saw the fires and the rage from mostly black citizens of the city. As I watched Fox News try to turn the story into a conversation about rioting and looting rather than Police accountability. Other peaceful protests started up in other cities. My entire social media feed from multiple sources was filled with people discussing their anger and vowing to protest it. I don’t like to admit that I didn’t see this coming. But on May 26th, as I ravenously tried to keep up from the comfort of a cottage on Crystal Lake Ontario, a spark of hope for humanity that I had lost a long time ago started to ignite.

Something interesting happens when you get most of your information from social media. It either makes you hyper critical of everything you’re told and willing to research anything important, or it makes you willing to believe anything your friends tell you. As the protests kicked off in major cities across America, after months of inactivity, my ADHD kicked into high gear. I used every neuron of my brain power to follow the protests from as many different angles as I could. Most importantly, I followed the story from the people who were at them. That’s what growing up in modern society makes you do. After months if not years if not decades of being lied to for personal gain constantly. It makes you pay attention to the people who have nothing to gain.

I got back to my appartment from my cottage a day later, still glued to my phone. Barely talking, barely eating, barely sleeping. I watched police officers in riot gear throw tear gas into peaceful protests in every city in America. Tear gas, by the way, is an international war crime in combat situations. I watched media with an implicitly right wing bias condemn the protests. Convincing people that looting was worth a war crime. I watched it work. It worked with my own father. It did not work for me. I watched the news from political biases of both sides but took most of it with a grain of salt. That’s what I had been taught to do from as young as 14 by the world I grew up in. The news could give me general information. However, the story was on the ground and I knew from experience that people would try to bury it so I had to watch it as quickly as possible. I watched friends of mine in the states get tear gassed and beaten while exercising their first amendment rights. I watched the news condemn the protests. I was horrified. I watched the peaceful protesters of police brutality in New York get beaten and gassed from a minimum of 30 different perspectives of the people I knew and trusted, and those I didn’t. I watched the peaceful protestors in LA get beaten and gassed from the same amount of perspectives. I watched them throw flash bombs and shoot rubber coated bullets into the faces of my friends in every city in America. I watched the President of the United States order the peaceful protestors in front of the White House to be beaten and gassed so he could have an awkward photo-op with a fucking bible. I watched this for a week straight from every angle available. Day in and day out. Every hour I was conscious, I watched fascism try to grab power in in every city in America. I watched people in powerful positions deny it.

It wasn’t just paying attention to the protests and the news of them explicitly. I wasn’t just filled with horror. I was also watching something wonderfully unexpected happen. I watched my black friends, my gay friends, my asain friends, and my intelligent friends, begin to weaponize social media. I watched them beg all of their friends to do the same. So did I, even though I felt like there wasn’t anything I could really do from cozy liberal Waterloo. I watched us all turn the algorithms against the people who made them. I did everything I could to make sure you couldn’t turn away. I told my gay white friends condemning the actions of protestors that his rights came from a riot. I watched them shrink in fear of my voice. My father told me I was getting caught up in left wing rhetoric. I tore his arguments to shreds. He told me broad angry statements don’t do anything. I told him broad angry statements create the conversation we’re having. Resistance is a highway with many lanes, and I knew my lane.

You grow up, especially in my age, especially when you’re gay, especially when you are exposed to a lifetime of stories of rebellion against tyranny, hearing about the power of resistance. As I marched in Waterloo with over thirty thousand people I didn’t know, I realized that I have never truly understood that power. How it surges through your body like electricity as you scream until your voice is hoarse. It’s a high better than any drug known to man, than any pride parade where I was pandered to by corporations for hours. It took my fear, and my anger, and my helplessness and turned it into raw power exploding from my body. I continued to watch people I knew deny reality. 

The protests grew. They spread across the world like wildfire. I went to facebook, a place I avoid because I don’t agree with the majority of people on it, and told anyone who would listen to me that this is what Pride means. What it truly means to be proud of your community. Not a rainbow flag in a store window, not a corporation asking you to buy it’s rainbow backpack. But turning apathy in face of evil into raw unbridled electricity. I watched the protests spread to Montreal and Toronto, I watched the police mishandle things there too. I watched violence perpetuated by the state against my friends, people I’ve known for years. The power I felt merely grew. It grew with every flash grenade and bullet and tear gas canister shot at my friends. It will not subside till this is over or until I die. I’m going to spend the next decade giving up the comfortable life of good food, great drinks, and fantastic company that I found in the restaurant industry. I’m going to spend a decade getting my Law degree to fight for every last one of us in the courtroom because that is a place I can make it count. 

Today is June 8th of the year 2020 and I began writing this piece at Noon, it is now 4:11 P.M. I have done zero editing and I refuse to. I submit this as my revised final essay. I want to know when you got behind the protests. Because if it was as you were reading this, I deem you unworthy to judge my critical thinking skills. If it was yesterday I think you should be ashamed of yourself. I was with them from hour one. You should have been too. How dare you spend years teaching children about racism and oppression. How dare you tell me that I’m not worthy of higher education in any form. Telling children that wikipedia is unreliable as a source is idiotic, it’s one of the most peer reviewed encyclopedia’s to ever exist. How dare you tell me and the young adults you teach that you don’t give out scores higher than ninety percent. What is the point of forcing teenagers to write in cursive. Why must I live the experiences you write about in your precious properly formatted essays. In this country a 68 is two percent shy of getting into any University.  It’s sentencing an intelligent person with an array of disabilities a life of believing they have no power. Despite my own mistakes at the time and the amount I have grown as a person since, I will hold you personally accountable for that. 

As a closing statement, to every English teacher in this province, no, to every English teacher in the great country of Canada. Think very hard about when exactly you put your full support behind this movement. Because your curriculum is outdated, and absolutely useless in the real world. And your racism is showing.

Post Script.

There is no bibliography of unbiased sources because all sources are biased. You have a supercomputer in your pocket and this should all be public information. Look it up.

#blm #nojusticenopeace #adhd #adhd brain #protests #canada #manic

[nix-that-rad-lass]

as much as I enjoy the SAW movies for my horror fix, I have to ask- why is it addicts and struggling mothers that get tortured?

why isn't it the rapists and pedophiles, child molesters and domestic abusers?

even in such a dark franchise, still, women are made out as evil- as though we deserve the pain portrayed in the films. 

the entire concept of SAW was that people who have wasted life, who have fucked up that bad, need to go back and ‘earn’ their right to stay alive... and yet, instead of portraying a punishment, a challenge, an actual fucking character arc, we are shown average men and struggling women brutalized and tortured.

why?

I think its because, even in something as ‘far fetched’ as SAW, something so gruesome that its on the very edge of possible and impossible to exist, that the men behind it still must find a way to hurt women.

they cant do it in real life, so they do it in film.

they don't show rapists and abusers and pedophiles- they show mothers struggling, young addicts, abused kids, youths that have been beaten and broken and turned to dark habits. even some of the most gruesome of movies, literally built upon the concept of ‘you get what you give, and if you give none you get fucked over’ still cant even fathom giving awful men what they deserve. instead they must brutalize women and youths. 

and its successful. its an epitome of horror/slasher and gore films. 

why? why??

because even in fiction men look out for men- a drug addicted woman is somehow more deserving of a slow and painful and arduous death than a child rapist. 

even in fiction, men don't let themselves be seen as evil. we are told the man behind it all- john Kramer- has his own reasons. 

he is selfish. and cruel. and sadistic.

and of all things the creators could have chosen, could have used to at least turn Kramer into a morally grey (rather than psychopathic and evil) character, they chose instead to torture women. because, god forbid, an evil man not look out for others like him.

it’s... its fucking insane.  

Kramer gets to be a whiny ass dickhead with no respect for any life other than his own, and its ‘justified’ because boohoo he had cancer and crashed his car. I don't care what the fuck someone has been through, real or not, hard or easy, nothing excuses vile actions.

Kramer this and Kramer that, he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants and its justified, but he doesn't even have a redeeming quality- he could choose to kidnap and torture rapists and predators, but no, developers of the movie chose to instead fuel that men, no matter how vile, are always redeemable, and women, no matter how graceful and good, always have something inside them worthy of punishment and cruelty. 

and its weird- the movies are 50-50 love and hate. but not for why we think- people love them because its got ‘good motive’ and good design, especially for a ‘low budget’ gore film. and they hate it because it’s a shallow plot, because there is either too much or not enough brutalization. because they characters aren't ‘relatable’ enough.

why aren't they loved for showing the cruelty of some human nature? loved for the realism, the ability to truly make someone gag at the torture? loved for their ability to force the watcher into a sick and twisted empathy?

why aren’t they hated for the obvious bias? the shoddy character development? the shoddy plot, drives, motives, and results? why are they not hated for the justification of mens vile actions, and the torture for women who step out of line? 

the movies failed at what they should have done.

instead of making people question, making people think, making people feel empathy, the creators made one of the best gore franchises, capitalized on it, gave men brutal porn fodder, and encouraged watchers to have decreased empathy for women, POC, and addicts. 

everything about the movies was done wrong.

SAW is a complete and utter disgrace, honestly

and I only like them because they get me to analyze them.  they snap me out of rage. they make me think and feel. 

but no one ever fucking thinks. they take it at face value and internalize the messages, and bam- new, hideous misogyny born from yet another shitty gore film. 

#no clue why I wrote this honestly #just needed to let it out #analysis #rant #vent #theory #SAW #horror #gore #films #horror films #radfem analysis #radfem safe #terf safe #misogyny #tw